The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast With Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Do you ever find yourself longing for deeper human connection, yet unsure how to actually make it happen? So many people are trying to overcome loneliness while craving friendships that genuinely support their happiness, well-being, and the desire to grow and heal. In this episode, we explore what strengthens your social wellness - from simple practices that help you reconnect with yourself to meaningful experiences that help you feel happier. My guest today is Julia Hotz, a solutions-focused journalist and award-winning author of The Connection Cure. Julia has spent years studying why loneliness is so widespread, what it does to our bodies and minds, and why meaningful relationships feel harder to build than ever. Today, we discuss social prescribing - an emerging practice where doctors and therapists “prescribe” activities like art classes, forest walks, or book clubs based on what matters to you most. These aren't hobbies for the sake of hobbies; they're structured ways of reconnecting with joy, identity, and people who help you feel more like yourself. Julia shares powerful stories, including Glenn, a 92-year-old veteran who went from weeks of silence to a real friendship, and Jonas, who lives with social anxiety and found that culture, music, and stories were his bridge back to connection. We talk about why meaningful relationships aren't just about companionship but self-expansion, helping you understand who you are through the people you connect with. We also explore the internal obstacles that make it harder to overcome loneliness: time constraints, social anxiety, and the awkwardness many people still feel after years of disrupted connection. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why social connection and strong relationships boost health and happiness 00:40 Introducing Julia Hotz and The Connection Cure 01:11 How the UK's minister of loneliness sparked social prescribing 06:47 What loneliness really is and how it impacts your brain and body 10:26 Self-expansion: how deep relationships help you know yourself 12:28 Rebuilding community: from Bowling Alone to modern social prescribing 14:21 Glenn and Ryan's story: loneliness to friendship at age 92 18:05 Social anxiety and culture “vitamins”: easier ways to meet people 23:20 How people connect differently: activities, intimacy, and friendship 26:18 Flipping “What's wrong with me?” to “What matters to me?” 31:14 Why 20 minutes in nature can reset your mind and attention 38:35 How to “prescribe yourself” connection and build a values-based social life If something in this episode resonates and you're thinking, “I don't want to feel this alone anymore,” we would love to support you. At Growing Self, you can schedule a free consultation to get connected with a therapist or coach on my team who truly understands what it takes to overcome loneliness and build meaningful human connection. You'll be able to chat with someone who can walk alongside you as you strengthen your social wellness, rebuild friendships, and feel happier. Schedule a free consultation today. You are worthy of relationships where you feel seen, chosen, and emotionally safe. You don't have to figure this out alone.

If overwhelm has become your constant companion - the thing you wake up with, carry through your day, and fall asleep thinking about - your well-being is trying to tell you something. In this episode, we're unpacking why happiness can feel so far away when stress keeps running the show, and how you can manage what's on your plate without sacrificing yourself in the process. If you're longing to feel happier, love yourself more deeply, and finally declutter the parts of your life that feel too heavy, you are absolutely in the right place! My guest, author and Afro-minimalist Christine Platt (Less Is Liberation: Finding Freedom From a Life of Overwhelm), shares how her “normal” busy life quietly turned into a health crisis, and how she began seeing overwhelm as her body's way of saying, Hey, one of your wells is empty. We talk about the five foundations of wellness (your “personal wells”), the emotional labor and mental load so many women carry, and how learning to declutter your stuff, your schedule, and your beliefs can help you manage stress more wisely and reconnect with a sense of happiness in your daily life. We also get into the messy real-world pieces: overwhelm by circumstance (divorce, money, kids, career), people-pleasing, the guilt around saying no, and why so many of us overbuy and hang onto clutter “just in case.” As you listen, notice: Which of your wells has been running low? What are you still trying to prove by doing so much? And what would “less” need to look like for your life to feel more like your life again? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Constant Overwhelm and Stress: What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You 03:03 Chronic Overwhelm and Hypertension: When Stress Becomes a Health Crisis 05:51 Five Foundations of Wellness: The “Personal Wells” Framework 09:45 Emotional Labor and Mental Load: Why Women Feel So Overwhelmed 12:30 Minimalism as Liberation: Living With Less to Reduce Overwhelm 16:06 Time Scarcity and Productivity: Limiting Beliefs That Keep You Overwhelmed 18:29 Messengers and Limiting Beliefs: Redefining “Selfish” Self-Care 25:32 Overwhelmed by Circumstance: Divorce, Scarcity, and Minimalism by Necessity 32:26 Psychology of Ownership: Why We Overbuy, Hoard, and Accumulate Clutter 42:51 Inner Work Before Decluttering: Healing People-Pleasing and Attachment to Stuff 48:47 Filling Your Wells: Daily Practices for Sustainable Wellness and Well-Being If you're living in that constant state of overwhelm, please know you don't have to sort this out on your own. At Growing Self, you can talk with someone about what's really happening - the stress, the burnout, the clutter on the outside and the inside - and get matched with a therapist or coach who truly understands what you're carrying. Schedule a consultation today! You deserve a life that feels lighter and more intentional, where you can manage stress wisely, feel happier in your day-to-day reality, and genuinely love yourself in how you care for your time, your space, and your emotional well-being.

Wondering if your mother-in-law is just “a lot,” or if you're actually dealing with a truly toxic mother-in-law situation? You are so not the only one lying awake replaying her comments and wondering what to do when this relationship feels way too involved in your marriage and family. In this episode, we're talking about how a toxic mother-in-law dynamic starts to erode your sense of safety at home. Dr. Tracy Dalgleish - clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and author of You, Your Husband and His Mother - joins me to talk honestly about what happens when your partner is still emotionally tied to his mom, you're trying to build a healthy new family, and you keep getting caught in the middle. We look at why some moms struggle to let go, why so many women end up over-functioning for everyone, and why so many men freeze or minimize when it's time to set boundaries with a toxic mother-in-law… and then we talk about what you can do: becoming a united “vault” as a couple, setting real boundaries instead of endless “requests,” and getting clear on your options when the dynamic with your mother-in-law is starting to feel unbearable. Here's how we walk through it together: 00:00 Why Mother-in-Law Conflicts Hurt Communication and Connection 03:14 Dr. Tracy's Story and Why She Wrote “You, Your Husband and His Mother” 05:24 Mother–Son Bonds, Gender Roles, and the Roots of Toxic Mother-in-Law Dynamics 11:03 Unhealthy Family Patterns: Control, Enmeshment, and Emotional Caretaking of Mom 20:56 Overfunctioning Wives, Underfunctioning Husbands, and the Mother–Child Dynamic 24:39 The VAULT Method: Becoming a United Couple and Setting Boundaries with In-Laws 30:48 Requests vs Boundaries: What Really Works with a Toxic Mother-in-Law 51:41 Change, Accept, or Leave: Your Choices in a Toxic Mother-in-Law Situation If this stirs up a very specific conversation with your partner (or a replay of your last holiday with his mom) and your chest tightens a little, I have something for exactly that moment. My Communication That Connects training walks you through the evidence-based do's and don'ts of communication that actually creates understanding instead of more defensiveness and hurt. I'll help you get clear about the real issues under your fights, give you a framework you can start using right away with your partner, and walk you step-by-step through how to have hard conversations in a way that protects your emotional bond instead of tearing it down. And if you're at the point where you're thinking, “I don't want to keep holding this all together by myself,” I would be genuinely honored to support you more directly. At Growing Self, you can privately tell us what's going on with your marriage, your mother-in-law, your family, and we'll help you connect with the right therapist or coach on my team. It's a simple, secure way to raise your hand and say, “Here's what I'm struggling with, please point me to the right person.” You can start that process anytime by scheduling a consultation. You deserve a family life that feels safe, sane, and loving, even if your extended family is… a lot.

If your relationship is stuck in a painful communication breakdown, I want you to know you're not crazy and you're not alone. In this episode, I'm sharing how the right solution-focused therapy techniques can start shifting the energy between you, even if things feel really bad right now. I'm joined by solution-focused brief psychotherapist and author of Change Your Questions, Change Your Future, Elliott Connie, and we're talking about why endlessly analyzing what went wrong rarely creates the change you're craving. Instead, we look at how hope, better questions, and small, intentional acts of love can reopen doors that you were pretty sure were slammed shut: from a “hopeless” divorced couple who ended up with ten beautiful years of remarried life, to the quiet experiment of really studying your partner and giving them more of what you know makes them feel loved. Along the way, we wrestle with the hard stuff too: blame, “I'm the victim here,” boundaries vs. checking out, and whether you're people-pleasing or simply showing up as the kind of partner you want to be. As you listen, I'd love for you to ask yourself: If hope came back into this relationship, what would actually be different between us? And who do I want to be in that story? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Relationships Really Fail: Losing Hope, Not Love 01:19 Solution-Focused Therapy vs Traditional Couples Counseling 06:03 Insight vs Healing: Why Understanding the Problem Won't Fix Your Relationship 10:48 How Hope Heals Relationships: The Most Important Ingredient in Change 15:36 Court-Ordered Co-Parents to Remarried: Elliot Connie's “Finding Nemo” Case Study 22:19 Ending the Blame Game: Taking Personal Responsibility in Marriage Conflicts 27:09 Try This Tonight: Small Acts of Love That Rebuild Emotional Connection 32:02 Is Your Partner Reciprocating? How to Read the Signs and What to Do Next 34:23 Change Your Questions, Change Your Future in Love and Relationships 36:51 Making Your Partner's Happiness Your Job Without Losing Yourself 41:35 People-Pleasing, Boundaries, and Knowing When a Relationship Is Unhealthy 44:54 How to Get More Help for Your Relationship and Personal Growth If this conversation is bringing a particular argument or painful cycle to mind and you can feel your body tense up at the thought of talking about it, I created something to walk alongside you. My Communication That Connects training is where I take you deeper into the heart of this work: the real issues that drive conflict, the evidence-based do's and don'ts of communication that creates connection instead of distance, and a clear framework you can start using with your partner right away.  And if you're at the point where you're thinking, “We cannot keep doing this by ourselves,” I would be truly honored to support you more directly. At Growing Self, you can tell us what's going on, what you've already tried, and what you're hoping for, and we'll thoughtfully connect you with the right therapist or coach on my team. It's a private, secure way to say, “Here's what I'm struggling with,” and get matched with someone who can walk through this with you, step by step. You can begin that process by scheduling a consultation. You deserve a relationship where hard conversations are survivable, you feel heard and cherished, and love feels like a safe place to land.

If you've ever told yourself, “I'll finally relax when my relationship is better, my house is cleaner, my body looks different, my career is farther along,” this conversation is for you and me both. As we step into the holiday season - a time that invites reflection, gratitude, and sometimes a little extra pressure - I'm revisiting this episode because the message is timeless. We're talking about cultivating contentment in the life you actually have, not some upgraded future version of it, and how to feel more at peace inside yourself without giving up your dreams, your drive, or your big, beautiful goals. We'll look at the difference between quick hits of happiness and that steadier “all is well in my world” feeling, the paradox of being an ambitious human who also wants to enjoy today, and some very practical ways to take inventory of your life, question old beliefs about worth and achievement, and stop outsourcing your emotional climate to your circumstances. As you listen, I'd love for you to consider: What have you been making your happiness conditional on? And what might change if today, messy and imperfect as it is, actually counted as a good life? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction to Contentment 04:24 The Pursuit of Happiness vs. Contentment 10:56 Understanding Contentment 20:36 The Paradox of Growth and Contentment 22:29 Taking Inventory for Contentment 29:17 Exploring Core Beliefs and Values 32:55 The Impact of Negative Thinking 37:10 Contentment and Happiness 40:37 The Illusion of Circumstantial Happiness 46:20 The Journey of Personal Growth 52:32 Finding Joy in the Process of Life If you're noticing how long you've been living in “when things are different, then I'll be okay,” and you'd like a thoughtful partner while you practice something healthier, I'd love to connect with you. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team; it's a private, secure space where you can tell us what's really been going on in your world and what you're hoping will feel different. We'll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can feel more grounded, more understood, and more free to enjoy the life you're in while you grow into what's next.

This time of year brings a lot of togetherness… and with it, a lot of unspoken tension. Difficult conversations are the ones you rehearse in your mind or hold back during holiday dinners, worried that saying the wrong thing could create a rift you can't repair. That's why I'm re-releasing this episode on how to have difficult conversations in a way that protects your relationship (and often deepens it) instead of pushing you further apart. We'll talk about why we either avoid hard topics until resentment leaks out, or bring them up in a burst of anger and criticism, and how both patterns wear down trust over time. You'll learn what it actually takes to do this differently: managing emotional flooding, getting honest with yourself before you speak, knowing when a conversation is worth having (and when it's time to set a firm boundary), and shifting the goal from “winning” to mutual understanding so you can stay connected even when you don't agree. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Navigating Difficult Conversations 06:07 Emotional Intelligence & Self-Regulation 17:49 When to Set Boundaries and Walk Away 21:00 Growth Through Discomfort 27:05 Preparing for Hard Conversations 29:53 Seeing Through Others' Eyes 36:08 Handling Polarized Views 42:09 Reciprocity & Healthy Relationships If this episode brings a specific conversation to mind and your stomach flips a little just thinking about it, I have a resource to support you. My Communication That Connects free training takes you deeper into the skills we cover here - practical do's and don'ts for communication that creates understanding, plus real examples you can use with your partner right away. You'll also receive a full workbook with lessons, activities, and homework to help you get to the root of conflict, calm reactive patterns, and build a more emotionally safe connection.  And if you're at the point where you don't want to keep doing this alone, I'd be honored to support you more directly. At Growing Self, you can tell us what's going on in your life and relationships, and we'll help you connect with the right therapist or coach on my team. It's a simple, private way to say, “Here's what I'm struggling with,” and get matched with someone who can walk through it with you. Start that process here: schedule a consultation. You deserve relationships where you can say the hard things, feel truly heard, and still feel loved at the end of the day.

AI has woven itself into our daily lives so quietly and so quickly that many of us don't even realize how emotionally attached we're becoming to it... and your AI chatbot might be destroying the way you connect & communicate in your relationships in real life. My guest, Dr. Rachel Wood, a licensed counselor with a PhD in cyberpsychology, helps us make sense of why AI feels so safe, so comforting, and in some cases so intimate, and what it means for our real relationships when a chatbot becomes the place we go to feel understood. We talk about the very real appeal of an AI companion that never gets tired, never gets defensive, and always seems to “get” you. And we also talk about the moments when that dynamic crosses into something unhealthy: when an omnibot becomes your therapist, your best friend, your partner, and your decision-maker… all at once. Rachel shares examples of how dependency forms, how delusions can develop, and why our relational and cognitive “muscles” matter more than ever in this new landscape. This conversation isn't anti-AI. It's about staying awake, staying human, and staying connected to ourselves and to each other while we navigate a technology that is becoming surprisingly personal. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 How AI Is Changing Human Relationships 09:20 The Spectrum of AI Relationships 20:18 Cognitive Offloading and Its Real-World Consequences 27:31 Using AI for Growth Without Losing Agency 32:59 When AI Becomes a Dependency 37:07 The Dangers of AI Escalation: A Suicidality Case Study 43:03 AI in Therapy: Tool or Replacement? 51:16 How to Support Someone Attached to Their AI If you're listening to this and realizing you may be leaning on AI a little more than feels good, or maybe you're worried about someone you love, please know you're not alone. These are tender places, and they deserve real, caring support. If you'd like a safe space to sort through what's coming up for you, or if you're craving more connection and clarity in your relationships, I'd love to help you get started. You can schedule a consultation with me or someone on my team. Tell us what's on your heart and what you're hoping for. We'll help you get matched with the right support so you can feel steady, understood, and empowered again.

The holiday season is so challenging when you're dealing with relationship loss. That's why I am re-releasing this episode on how to manage a breakup or divorce through the holiday season. This time of year can stir up old feelings, magnify loss, and make you question whether you'll ever feel like yourself again - and that's exactly why this conversation still matters. It can feel especially brutal when you're going through a breakup over the holidays. Everyone else is in goofy sweaters and twinkle lights, and you're just trying to get through the day without crying in the bathroom. In this episode, I'm talking with you about why you still feel hooked on your ex (even if you know the relationship needed to end), how love can function like an addiction in your brain, and why this season tends to rip everything wide open emotionally. I walk you through the stages of healing after a breakup - from that torturous ambivalence where part of you is still hoping, to the grief of finally letting go, to the anger, guilt, and self-doubt that can sneak up on you later - and then into rebuilding your self-esteem, finding some inner peace, and eventually growing into a wiser, stronger version of yourself. As you listen, I want you to be gently asking yourself, Where am I in this process? What do I actually need right now: space, support, boundaries, or a little nudge back into life? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Coping with Loss During the Holidays 10:15 Understanding the Emotional Impact of Breakups 16:33 Navigating the Stages of Healing 18:34 The Ambivalence Stage: Letting Go 22:15 Emotional Freedom: Grieving and Moving On 28:01 Rebuilding Self-Esteem After a Breakup 31:15 Finding Inner Peace and Moving Forward 34:29 Growth: Learning from the Experience If you're listening to this and thinking, I can't do this by myself anymore, I would be truly honored to support you. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team. It's a private, secure place to tell us what's been going on for you - the grief, the intrusive thoughts about your ex, the way the holidays are stirring everything back up - and we'll help you get matched with the right expert so you don't have to figure this out alone. Thousands of people have used this first step to begin healing their hearts and rebuilding their lives, and you can too. If your heart is saying, I'm ready for some real support, consider this my personal invitation to reach out.

Let's get honest for a second. Porn addiction isn't really about sex. It's about connection… about loneliness, shame, and the ache to feel close to something when life feels empty or overwhelming. My guest for this episode, Sathiya Sam, knows that pain deeply. After a 15-year struggle with porn addiction, he rebuilt his life and now helps others do the same through his Deep Clean program - a compassionate, science-meets-spirituality approach that helps people stop using porn and start building real connection again. We're talking about what really drives addiction, the role of purpose and community in recovery, how to protect kids in this new digital world, and what AI “relationships” mean for the future of intimacy. It's a deep, human conversation about healing, hope, and the real work of reclaiming yourself. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Porn Addiction Is About Connection, Not Willpower 01:17 Sathiya Sam's Recovery Story and Deep Clean Method 07:21 Purpose, Boredom, and the Root Causes of Porn Use 13:44 Protecting Kids From Early Exposure 18:24 AI, Loneliness, and Synthetic Intimacy 30:11 Healing Through Community and Real Connection 34:32 Why Your Partner Shouldn't Be Your Accountability Partner 39:34 First Steps to Quit Porn for Good Sometimes the hardest part is admitting you need a little help, and the bravest thing you can do is take that first step. If you're ready to start your own growth and healing journey, you can get support from Sathiya here: https://www.sathiyasam.com/growing-self. Let them know Dr. Lisa sent you! ❤️ You don't have to carry this by yourself. Real change is possible… and it starts with connection. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self P.S. I'd also love to hear what resonated for you or what ideas you'd like me to explore next. Let's keep the conversation going!

What if the guilt you've been trying to shake is a guiding light for better relationships? We spend so much energy trying not to feel guilty, about losing our temper, missing a call, falling short in some way, but guilt isn't proof that you're broken. It's proof that you care. In this episode, I talk with psychologist Dr. Chris Moore about how guilt can actually help you heal your relationships, reconnect with your empathy, and live in alignment with your values. Here's a peek at what we cover: 00:00 Guilt Is Good: Why Feeling Guilty Can Heal Relationships 01:54 The Guilt Cocktail: Empathy, Anxiety, and Self-Anger 08:24 Guilt vs. Shame: How to Tell the Difference 13:43 Turning Guilt Into Repair: Apology and Forgiveness 16:48 When You Can't Fix It: Guilt, Grief, and Self-Forgiveness 23:27 Moral Injury, Trauma, and Survivor Guilt 28:37 Chronic Guilt: Why Women Feel It More 33:12 How to Reframe Guilt and Use It as a Guide 41:13 Guilt Means You Care If something in this conversation stirred your heart, maybe an old regret or a relationship you'd love to mend, you don't have to sort through it alone. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team at Growing Self. It's a warm, private space to talk about what's been weighing on you, get help managing guilt in a healthy way, and start moving forward with self-forgiveness and clarity. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Have you ever said yes when every part of you was quietly screaming no? Or pushed through your day on fumes, wondering where your energy went? We've all been there - doing a million things that look productive but leave us totally drained. In this episode, I'm talking with psychologist and author Dr. Diana Hill about how to reclaim your energy and focus by using them wisely. Diana's new book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, is about learning to tell the difference between what fuels you and what quietly burns you out. We get into how to recognize “unwise effort” - those moments when you're forcing, overdoing, or holding on too tight - and how to reconnect with your genius energy, that natural flow that feels effortless and alive. She also shares simple ways to check in with yourself: a 24-hour “regret scan” to see where your energy went off-track, and four questions to help you decide what's actually worth your time, attention, and heart. It's all about being intentional, not perfect, and remembering that the most powerful thing you can do is choose where your energy goes. As you listen, notice where your energy feels pulled, and what choices leave you feeling lighter, freer, more yourself. What are you still holding on to that's quietly exhausting you? And what would it look like to let that go? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 What Is Wise Effort and Why Energy Matters 02:50 Three Patterns That Drain Your Energy 07:04 Finding Your Genius Energy 11:04 Regret as a Compass for Wise Energy 22:00 The Four-Question Filter for Wise Decisions 29:39 How Relationships Affect Your Energy 42:30 Reclaiming Energy and Focus Through Wise Effort If you've been feeling scattered or depleted, this may be your moment to pause and realign. Working with one of our expert therapists or coaches can help you understand where your energy and focus are going - and guide you toward choices that feel more grounded, intentional, and restorative. Schedule your free consultation to start creating the balance you've been craving. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Have you ever asked yourself, “When does ‘my money' become ‘our money'?” It's one of those questions couples don't really face until tension starts to build. And by then, it's rarely about the dollars. It's about fairness, power, and feeling seen. In this episode, I'm joined by Heather and Douglas Boneparth, the power couple behind Bone Fide Wealth Management, and co-authors of their new book, Money Together: How to Find Fairness in Your Relationship and Become an Unstoppable Financial Team. We talk about what really happens when love meets money - the unspoken expectations, the invisible labor, and the stories we tell ourselves about who's “earning” more or contributing “enough.” Heather and Douglas share their own wake-up moment during the pandemic, when their careers and family roles shifted and resentment started creeping in. We explore what it means to honor each other's time as a form of currency, how to rebuild balance when things feel uneven, and why fairness doesn't always mean splitting everything 50/50. As you listen, think about what fairness looks like in your relationship. How do you value each other's time, effort, and care? And what might change if you started talking about money as a shared story instead of a scoreboard? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 When Does My Money Become Our Money? 01:03 Why Couples Fight About Money 08:39 Time Is a Currency 15:29 From “Me” to “We” 21:24 Mistakes vs. Missteps 23:56 Different Definitions of “Enough” 28:12 “My Money” vs. “Our Money” 39:09 Practical Playbook: Money Dates & Goal Alignment 44:45 Case Study: Inheritance & Grief 51:03 When to Seek Financial Therapy for Couples There's a ton of great information in this podcast AND it's also true that talking about money and creating agreement in your financial relationship can be very tricky for many couples. You don't have to go it alone. One of the things my practice is known for is financial therapy for couples, specifically. If this is a current pain point in your relationship, I hope you get in touch with us and allow us to guide you through the process of creating alignment around all parts of your life, including financials. Here's the link to learn more, and set up a free consultation. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

How much of what you do every day is really your choice? The food you crave, the shows you watch, the moods you slip into - so much of it is quietly being shaped by invisible influences you probably never notice. In this episode, I talk with Dr. Tatyana El-Kour, a psychologist and registered dietitian who studies how media and technology shape our behavior. She shares how algorithms learn our emotional rhythms - what time of day we're vulnerable, what kind of content keeps us scrolling - and use that data to steer our choices. We also explore something just as powerful: the invisible influence inside us. Your gut microbiome doesn't just affect digestion. It can shape your emotions, focus, and even your resilience. This conversation left me thinking deeply about how easily we're guided by forces we can't see and how much freedom comes from noticing them. Once you recognize what's pulling the strings, you can start reclaiming your power, one intentional choice at a time. As you listen, ask yourself: When do I feel most on autopilot? What's really driving my decisions in those moments? And what would it look like to start choosing differently? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Hidden Power of Invisible Influence 02:00 How Algorithms Shape Your Choices and Emotions 09:30 Emotional Tracking and Predictive Technology 13:30 When Digital Nudges Impact Health and Body Image 18:00 The Psychology Behind Algorithmic Addiction 29:00 Echo Chambers, Polarization, and Cognitive Rigidity 38:00 How to Recognize and Resist Invisible Influence 43:15 The Gut-Brain Connection and Emotional Resilience 55:00 Reclaiming Awareness and Agency If you're curious about the invisible forces shaping your path, I made something to help you look beneath the surface. My What's Holding You Back? Quiz is a short, thoughtful tool to help you see what might be standing between you and your next breakthrough. Think of it as a little mirror for your inner world - gentle, honest, and surprisingly clarifying. Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. I share new insights (and sometimes a few behind-the-scenes thoughts) every week. And I'd really love to know what this episode stirred up for you. I always love hearing your takeaways so let's talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

When trust is broken, everything changes. The person who once felt like your safest place can suddenly feel like a stranger, and finding your way back can feel impossible. In this episode, I'm joined by Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, trained relationship specialists, speakers, and authors of Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time. After a devastating betrayal early in their marriage, they did the hard, courageous work of rebuilding honesty, safety, and connection - not just for themselves, but now for the couples they help heal. We talk about what partner betrayal trauma really looks like, why “just move on” never works, and what it actually takes to rebuild trust after betrayal. From understanding trauma's impact on your nervous system to creating emotional safety and vulnerability again, this is an honest look at how love can truly recover and grow stronger on the other side. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal 01:30 Meet Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith 05:36 The Hidden Addiction and the Moment of Truth 16:20 Beginning the Recovery Journey 27:00 The Reality of Partner Betrayal Trauma 33:20 Why “Just Move On” Doesn't Work 43:40 How Trauma Healing Actually Happens 49:20 The Blueprint for Rebuilding Trust 58:00 Finding Purpose and True Intimacy 01:00:45 Where to Find Support and Resources What would it mean to feel safe again in your body, in your relationship, or even within yourself? How do we begin to trust when trust has been broken? And if you're the one who caused harm, how do you face that truth with compassion and courage instead of shame? If this conversation stirs something in you… maybe memories, questions, or a quiet hope that healing is possible… I have a free resource that can help you take the next step. My Communication That Connects Masterclass was designed to help you move beyond pain and misunderstanding, and start building the kind of emotional safety that real repair depends on.  Let's stay connected - I share more insights, videos, and real talk about love and growth every week on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I'd also love to hear what resonated for you or what questions you'd like me to explore next. Let's keep the conversation going - let's talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

This episode originally aired on April 5, 2021 (Episode 240), and I'm bringing it back because so many of you said it gave you the clarity you didn't know you needed. If you're feeling stuck in your career or wondering whether there's something more fulfilling out there for you, this conversation is worth revisiting. So many people come to me at a professional crossroads. On paper, things look fine — good job, steady paycheck — but inside, they're wrestling with harder questions: Is this what I'm meant to be doing? Where's the meaning? And what would it actually look like to feel passionate about my work? Finding your passion isn't about flipping a switch. It's about understanding how you got here, untangling what's yours from what you were told to want, and designing a career that aligns with who you are now. In this episode, we're talking about how to get unstuck, how to reflect with purpose, and how to move forward, even when it feels like there are a thousand possible directions and no clear right answer. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Getting Unstuck When You Have Too Many Options 05:12 Career Crossroads: How to Navigate Paralysis and Indecision 11:08 Life Design vs. Job Search: Shifting How We Think About Career 18:39 Finding Your Passion by Reflecting on the Past 27:26 The “Quarter-Life” Crossroads: Making Sense of How You Got Here 30:12 Burnout or Misalignment? How to Tell the Difference 34:45 The 10-Year Vision Exercise That Brings Long-Term Clarity 36:44 Why Big Career Decisions Shouldn't Happen During Burnout We cover how early life influences, past roles, and even burnout shape your career path, often without you realizing it. And we'll help you figure out whether you need a new job or a new perspective on the one you already have. What if you stopped pushing through and started getting curious? What would it feel like to move toward a career that fits you, not just the version of you who started years ago? If you're feeling ready to find your passion and design a career that actually fits, I'd love to support you as you start taking clear, doable steps. Through my Career Clarity Intensive, you can have clarity and confidence about the right next step for you, how to grow professionally and attain what you really want, and actualize the fullness of your potential in your career! The first step: join me for a free coaching call to design your next chapter. Here's the link to register. And if you want to keep this conversation going beyond the podcast, come find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I'm always sharing tools and insights to help you build a life and career that reflect your values and your worth. And if something from this episode sparked something for you, I'd love to hear how you're making sense of your path. Let's talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

If you've ever questioned where you stand with your partner or second-guessed their love, this will help you feel more grounded, connected, and secure. This episode first aired on June 21, 2021 (Episode 251), and I'm bringing it back because so many of you said it hit home.  Ever replayed a conversation, overread a text, or felt on edge when your partner seemed distracted even when nothing was “wrong”? That kind of relationship anxiety can keep you chasing reassurance. I'm joined by my colleague Georgi, a marriage and family therapist on our Growing Self team, to talk about why security can feel slippery and what it takes to build emotional safety that lasts. We look at how attachment injuries, big and small, quietly shape how you show up in love. Early experiences, broken trust, and even subtle disappointments can make connection feel risky and drive patterns like jealousy, anger, or withdrawal. Together, we talk about interrupting those cycles, hearing what your anxiety is trying to say, and inviting your partner into repair with curiosity rather than blame. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction: Why It's Hard to Feel Secure in Your Relationship 07:05 How Attachment Shapes Emotional Safety and Trust 10:40 When Insecurity Shows Up as Anger or Jealousy 18:50 What Fuels Insecurity: Attachment Injuries and Unmet Needs 26:25 Inviting Your Partner In and Re-building Connection 30:35 Responding With Empathy Instead of Defensiveness 35:40 The House Analogy: Re-building Trust Brick by Brick 37:15 Emotional Safety as the Core of a Healthy Relationship As you listen, notice what shows up for you. When anxiety spikes, what story starts running—and how do you usually respond? Do you shut down, reach for control, or start hunting for proof that you're okay? Try pausing to ask what you truly need in that moment: comfort, reassurance, or a steadier sense of safety within yourself. If communication is adding to the tension, try my Communication that Connects Masterclass. It's a simple way to step out of those conflict loops and have conversations that build understanding. It includes a workbook so you can practice right away! You might also like my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? quiz. It's quick, gives you language for what's happening, and points to where your relationship could use more care. Want ongoing support between episodes? Find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I share fresh tools and encouragement to help you create the love, happiness, and success you deserve. If this episode sparked something, or an idea for a future topic, I'd love to hear from you. Let's talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

You know that feeling when you look around at the news, your job, your relationships, and everything feels a little out of control? Like no matter what you do, it's never enough to really make a difference? I get it. So many of us are carrying that quiet sense of powerlessness right now. But here's the thing: you have more influence than you realize. You've just never been shown how to use it. In this episode, I'm talking with Cynthia Rivard, business strategist, and author of A New Breed of Leader, about what it truly means to become influential. Not in the “stand at the front of the room” kind of way, but in the real, human way that changes how you show up for yourself, your relationships, and your community. We're getting into influential leadership as a way of life - how to lead from within, ripple change outward, and shift from helplessness to hope through small, intentional action. This isn't about being in charge, but about being conscious, compassionate, and brave enough to start where you are. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why We Feel Powerless & How to Become Influential 03:22 Redefining Leadership: Everyday Influence & Micro Leadership 05:05 Ripple Effects: How Small Actions Shape Others 11:28 Building Trust as the Core of Influential Leadership 13:11 Staying Grounded in Conflict & Division 23:52 Compassionate vs. Authoritative Leadership 25:00 Vision and Action: Breaking Free from Inaction 31:45 Overcoming Analysis Paralysis with Micro Actions 39:03 Enrolling Others in Your Vision 43:29 Key Takeaways on Influential Leadership   If you've been feeling ready to show up differently in your relationships, your work, or your life, I'd love to support you as you start putting that influence into action. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It's a private, supportive space where you can share what's been on your mind, whether that's building confidence, finding your voice, or learning how to lead your life with intention. We'll help you get matched with the right expert so you can move forward feeling clear, encouraged, and hopeful. I'd also love to stay connected beyond the podcast. You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube, where I share stories, reflections, and gentle reminders to help you stay intentional as you lead your own life. And if something from this conversation really hit home, tell me about it - I'd love to hear how you're using your influence out in the world. Let's keep this conversation going! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Some women seem to have it all together. They're confident, capable, and thriving in their careers. Yet when it comes to love… it's like they're playing a game with a whole different rulebook. I've talked with so many high-achieving women who can handle anything at work (big goals, big responsibilities, big wins) but still feel unsure or unseen when it comes to real connection. In this episode, I'm sitting down with Hilary Silver, clinical therapist, master coach, and host of the Ready for Love podcast. Hilary and I talk about why strong, successful women so often find themselves repeating the same relationship patterns. We get into how old habits of proving, pleasing, and perfecting the ones that helped you rise so high can quietly start working against you when it comes to love. Hilary shares the three roles she sees most often in high achievers: the Pleaser, the Perfectionist, and the Pusher. Each one starts as a way to stay safe, but over time it builds walls that make closeness harder. We talk about what it really takes to lower those defenses, feel solid in who you are, and let love in without losing yourself in the process. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why High-Achieving Women Struggle in Love 01:29 Hilary Silver's Journey From Therapy to Coaching 08:08 The Hidden Wounds Behind High Achievement 11:08 Protection Prevents Connection: Pleaser, Perfectionist, Pusher 16:20 How Self-Protection Creates Relationship Difficulties 23:33 The Tree Metaphor for Personal Growth 26:08 Coaching vs. Therapy: Choosing the Right Path 31:08 Transformation Stories and Hope for Authentic Love Now, take a moment to reflect. When do you catch yourself working hard to prove your value in love? What parts of you stay tucked away because you're afraid they won't be accepted? And what might happen if you stopped trying to earn love and allowed yourself to receive it instead? I'd love to help you take the next step toward deeper, more authentic connection. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It's a private, no-pressure space where you can share what's been on your mind - whether that's building self-worth, breaking old patterns, or learning how to open your heart again. We'll help you find the right support so you can move forward feeling clear, encouraged, and hopeful. Come find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I share stories, insights, and gentle reminders every week to help you stay grounded and connected as you grow. And if today's topic brought up a question or an “aha” moment, I'd love to hear from you. Let's keep talking about this - we're all learning how to love better, together. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

What do you do when someone you love sees the world so differently from you that every conversation feels tense? When your values and beliefs clash so deeply that you start wondering if you can stay close at all? If you've ever found yourself in that tension, between wanting to stay connected and wanting to stay true to yourself, you are not alone. In this episode, I'm talking with Dr. Bill Doherty, a professor, therapist, and co-founder of Braver Angels, about how to navigate hard conversations when politics, cultural influences, or deeply held beliefs divide us. Dr. Doherty shares how the same tools that heal intimate relationships can also strengthen our political communication, especially with the people we care about most. We talk about emotional self-regulation, listening with genuine curiosity, and the courage it takes to connect before you correct. You'll hear how story and empathy can shift defensiveness into understanding, and how choosing calm over control can keep love alive across even the deepest divides. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction with Dr. Bill Doherty and Braver Angels 02:16 The Origin of Braver Angels Workshops 10:30 Affective Polarization and Its Impact on Relationships 16:07 Media, Social Media, and the Angertainment Industry 21:46 Emotional Regulation and Communication Strategies 30:39 Choosing Whether to Engage or Step Back 32:05 Connect Before You Disagree 37:13 Using “I” Statements and Sharing Personal Stories 42:29 The Stories Behind Our Beliefs 50:21 You Can't Fight Someone the Same Way When You Know Their Heart Take a moment with me: who in your life do you find hard to talk to about what really matters? What might happen if you stopped trying to convince them and started listening for the experiences that shaped their beliefs? How might that change the way you show up in those moments? If listening today brought up memories of your own hard conversations, especially that ache of wanting to stay close when your differences feel impossible, I have something that can help. My Communication That Connects Free Masterclass is designed to help you move past power struggles and into real understanding. Inside, I'll walk you through the exact skills that turn tense moments into opportunities for empathy and connection. You'll learn how to calm reactivity, communicate from the heart, and create emotionally safe conversations - the kind that honor both your truth and your relationship. If this episode got you thinking (or feeling) about your own relationships, come hang out with me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I'm there every week sharing new insights, tools, and little reminders to help you stay grounded and connected - even when life gets messy! And if something from today's conversation sparked a question or story you want to share, I'd love to hear from you. Let's keep this conversation going. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Have you ever fantasized about quitting your job, starting your own business, and finally doing something that feels 100% yours? It sounds amazing… until you remember that entrepreneurism also comes with risk, uncertainty, and about a million ways things can go sideways. So what does it really take to be an entrepreneur? In this episode, I'm joined by Melissa Bernstein - entrepreneur, creative, author, mother of six, and co-founder of both the billion-dollar toy company Melissa & Doug and the wellness brand Lifelines. Melissa shares what it really takes to be an entrepreneur: the resilience to weather constant storms, the patience to love the process for years before you see results, and the clarity of purpose that keeps you moving forward when everything feels like it's falling apart. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Dream vs. Reality of Entrepreneurship 03:50 Start With Curiosity: Research Before You Launch 06:50 From Ingredients to Mission: Let Ideas Simmer 11:59 Resilience in Action: Setbacks, Copycats, and Mindset Shifts 18:22 The 3 Ps: Passion, Patience, and Purpose 20:46 Purpose Over Profit: Building a Legacy Brand 22:10 Patience Pays: A Decade to Real Traction 39:00 Openness to Experience: Beginner's Mind and “New Eyes” 42:39 Protect Fragile Ideas: Share Only When the Vision Is Clear As you listen, reflect with me: What's the mission you feel so strongly that you couldn't walk away from it, even if you tried? Do you love the process of what you want to create enough to stay with it for decades? And are you running toward something that lights you up, or just trying to escape something you don't like? If this conversation with Melissa got you thinking more deeply about your own path, I would love to help you take the next step. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It is a no-pressure chance to share what has been on your mind, whether that is growing in your career, clarifying your goals, or building more meaning into your work. I believe everyone deserves support as they figure out what is next, and these free consultations are one way I can make that support accessible. My hope is that you leave our time together feeling more clear, more encouraged, and more confident about where you are heading. And let's not let the conversation stop here. I'm always sharing new insights, encouragement, and little growth tools on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube - but what I really love is hearing from you. Your thoughts and questions often spark future episodes, so if something in this one lit a fire for you, let me know. Let's talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

This episode first aired on April 26, 2021 (Episode 243), and I'm bringing it back because so many listeners told me it felt like I was speaking directly to their experience. Living with a partner who always seems angry is confusing, painful, and can leave you feeling constantly on edge. In this episode, I'll help you understand what's really happening in that dynamic and share strategies to move back toward safety and connection. Whether you're in the middle of it now, reflecting on a past relationship, or supporting someone you care about, my hope is that this brings you both clarity and comfort. Anger in relationships is almost always a secondary emotion. Beneath the sharp words or defensiveness, there's usually hurt, fear, or a longing to feel cared for. I'll walk you through why trying to shut anger down often makes things worse, how shifting your own responses can change the cycle, and what it really takes to rebuild trust and create space for vulnerability. As you listen, consider: What story have you been telling yourself about your partner's anger? What might shift if you saw the pain or fear underneath it? And how could you show up in a way that invites connection instead of distance? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Understanding Why Your Partner Always Seems Angry 05:47 The Pursue–Withdraw Cycle in Relationships 11:02 What's Really Driving Anger in a Relationship 18:03 When Anger Crosses Into Abuse 20:03 How to Rebuild Trust Through Emotional Availability 24:28 Anger as a Secondary Emotion: Hurt and Fear Beneath the Surface 27:03 How Counseling and Support Can Shift Entrenched Patterns 28:06 Recommended Resources for Healing Relationships If you're tired of replaying the same arguments, I created my Communication That Connects Free Training to help. It's a crash course in breaking conflict loops and building conversations that bring you closer. It comes with a workbook so you can start practicing right away. You might also love my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz. It's quick, but it will give you such a clear picture of your strengths as a couple and the areas that might need more care. Sometimes just naming what's really going on is the first step to healing. For more ongoing support, join me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube, where I share tools and encouragement every week. And if this episode sparked a question or made you think of a topic you'd like me to cover, I'd love to hear from you - let's talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

This episode originally aired on May 3, 2021 (Episode 244), and I'm bringing it back because so many of you told me how much it resonated. If you've ever struggled with a partner who shuts down or found yourself withdrawing, this one's worth revisiting. Whether you're navigating it now, reflecting on the past, or supporting someone you love, I hope it brings clarity and hope. Few things hurt more than reaching for your partner and being met with silence. In this episode, I'm unpacking why people shut down, how it damages connection, and what you can do to change the pattern. We'll look at the pursue-withdraw cycle, Gottman's “Four Horsemen,” and why emotional safety is the key to breaking through. You'll learn how to soften your approach, communicate vulnerably, and rebuild trust - while also considering when it's time to stop chasing and start filling your own cup.  As you listen, think about how you usually respond when your partner withdraws and what effect that has. Consider what might change if you focused more on creating safety than on pushing for answers. And ask yourself where you could begin creating fulfillment in your own life, instead of waiting for your partner to engage. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction & Why Partners Shut Down 06:00 The Pursue-Withdraw Cycle in Relationships 11:04 The Impact of Withdrawal and Avoidance 13:01 Gottman's Four Horsemen & The Cost of Stonewalling 15:12 Why Withdrawal Happens & When It's About More Than You 20:40 Creating Emotional Safety and Communicating Vulnerably 28:04 Positive Reinforcement, Diplomacy & Patience 36:10 Filling Your Own Cup & Breaking the Chase Cycle If you'd like more support as you work on these skills, check out my Communication That Connects Free Training. It's designed to help you move out of conflict loops and into conversations that bring you closer, and it comes with a workbook to guide you through the process. You can also take my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for quick insight into what's working well and where you might want to focus your growth. Let's stay connected beyond the podcast. I share more tools and encouragement every week on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. And I'd love to hear from you if this episode sparked a question, gave you an idea for a future topic, or made you think about your relationship in a new way - let's talk! And a special thank you to the sponsor of today's episode: Headway. I love reading and learning, but I don't always have time to sit down with a book. The Headway app makes it easy to keep growing with bite-sized summaries of the best titles out there, and I use it almost every day. If you'd like to try it, you can save 25% at makeheadway.com/lhs with the promo code LHS. Let's keep learning and growing together.

Have you ever been totally into someone and then suddenly… you get the ick? One minute you're feeling the spark, the next you're questioning everything over something as small as flip-flops. Getting the ick can feel like a dealbreaker, but does it really mean your relationship is doomed - or is it pointing to something deeper inside of you? In this episode, I talk with therapist and journalist Matt Hussey about what the ick really is, why it shows up, and how to handle it without panicking or shutting down. We'll look at the biology of disgust, the ways old hurts and perfectionism can shape our reactions, and how curiosity can transform that “ugh” moment into an opportunity for growth and connection. Matt also points out (as he shared in Vogue) that sometimes the ick is less about your partner and more about self-protection. Instead of working through discomfort or vulnerability, we latch onto surface-level quirks. Understanding that difference between a fleeting ick and a real red flag can help you respond with clarity instead of fear. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 What Is the Ick? 03:00 Getting the Ick in Modern Relationships 11:13 Why Curiosity Matters More Than Snap Judgments 22:07 Self-Protection, Trauma, and the Ick 29:15 How to Handle the Ick in Relationships 38:29 Avoidant Attachment and the Ick 44:10 Fantasy vs. Reality in Love Reflect with me for a moment: What has triggered the ick for you in the past? Did it reveal something about your partner, or did it say more about what was happening inside of you? And how might curiosity change the way you respond the next time those feelings come up? If you'd like more support around communication and connection, check out my Communication That Connects Free Training and take the How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for a clear snapshot of what's working and what could use care. And let's stay connected - join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, where I share more tools to help you grow in love and life. If this episode sparked a question or an idea you'd like me to explore next, I'd love to hear from you. Let's talk! I also want to thank today's sponsor, Headway. As much as I love books, finding time to read isn't always realistic. That's why I use the Headway app - it gives me key takeaways from incredible books in minutes. I use it almost every day as part of my own growth. You can save 25% when you go to makeheadway.com/lhs and use promo code LHS. Let's keep learning and growing together.

Have you ever felt stuck between knowing what you should do and actually following through? That gap between intention and action isn't a character flaw - it's your brain running old programs. What if you could rewrite them? That's exactly what I explored with Dr. David Spiegel, pioneer in clinical hypnotherapy research, author, and founder of the Reveri self-hypnosis app. He breaks down how hypnosis isn't mind control or stage tricks, but a focused state of attention that helps you get out of your own way and create real change in your sleep, eating, weight, pain, stress, and habits. We talk about the science of self-hypnosis, why it works when insight alone doesn't, and how technology is making it accessible to everyone. Dr. Spiegel also guides me (and you) through a live mini-session so you can feel what it's like yourself. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome: Dr. David Spiegel 02:00 What Hypnosis Really Is (and Isn't) 07:30 How Hypnosis Rewires the Brain and Reduces Pain 13:00 Self-Hypnosis for Smoking Cessation and Habit Change 20:00 Hypnosis vs. Meditation 26:00 The Reveri Self-Hypnosis App 33:00 Brain Science Behind Hypnosis 38:00 Using Hypnosis for Anxiety, Phobias, and Pain 47:00 Final Thoughts and Dr. Spiegel's Mission What would change if you stopped relying on willpower alone and started using your brain's own hidden tools for healing and growth? If you've been feeling stuck and aren't sure why, my What's Holding You Back? Quiz can help you uncover the hidden patterns, beliefs, or behaviors that might be silently sabotaging your progress. It's a quick, eye-opening way to gain clarity and take the first step forward. And let's stay connected beyond the podcast - I'm sharing new tools and insights every week on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. If this episode sparked a question or an idea you'd like me to cover in the future, I'd love to hear from you. Let's talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self P.S. Before we wrap up, I want to thank the sponsor of today's episode, Headway. We've been talking about the power of self-hypnosis to rewire your mind, and for me, reading is another way I open myself up to new perspectives. But life is busy, and I don't always have the time to curl up with a full book. That's why I love Headway. It takes the best books on psychology, personal growth, and beyond, and distills them into bite-sized insights I can actually fit into my day. I use it every morning, and it's such a simple way to keep growing. And the best part? You can save 25% when you go to makeheadway.com/lhs and use code LHS. Here's to learning, healing, and creating the kind of change that lasts.

Have you ever said you're “anxious” or “burned out,” only to realize those words don't really capture what's happening inside you? The way we label our emotions shapes how we experience them — and when the language is off, so is our path to healing. In this episode, I'm joined by author, creator, and mindfulness expert Case Kenny to talk about how mindfulness becomes powerful and practical when it's rooted in language. Case shares how guided journaling and emotional vocabulary can help you move past vague “forest words” into precise truths that open the door to optimism, self-trust, and more authentic connections. We also dig into how so-called “negative” emotions — what I like to call dark emotions — aren't obstacles to avoid but important signals that can strengthen your growth and your relationships. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction to Intentional Living and Mindfulness 01:06 The Power of Emotional Vocabulary 06:01 Guided Journaling for Emotional Clarity 15:22 Rethinking Settling Down in Relationships 20:05 Emotional Priming and How Language Shapes Experience 23:04 Building Self-Trust and Emotional Resilience 33:02 Embracing Dark Emotions for Growth 35:16 Communication and Emotional Connection in Love If this conversation left you thinking, “I want to do this work in my own life,” I'd love to help. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team, and we'll match you with the right expert for your goals. Whether you're ready to deepen your self-awareness, work through old patterns, or create more authentic connections, we'll give you the guidance and resources to start moving forward with clarity and confidence. And let's keep the conversation going: join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube for weekly tools and encouragement. If this episode sparked a question or idea you'd love me to cover in the future, let's talk! Before we wrap up, I want to share something that's been such a great companion to the kind of mindful growth we talked about today. You know I'm all about finding practical ways to keep learning, but with a busy life it can be hard to carve out quiet hours with a book. That's why I've been loving the Headway app. It distills the big ideas from some of the best books into quick, actionable insights you can take with you right away. I've made it part of my own morning routine, and it's such an easy way to keep stretching your mind every day. And here's the best part — you can try it for yourself and save 25%. Just head to makeheadway.com/lhs and use code LHS. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Have you ever had a boss who left you walking on eggshells, never sure what mood they'd bring into the office? Maybe they humiliated people in meetings, lashed out without warning, or drained you so much that you came home with nothing left for yourself. A bully boss can affect far more than your workday. In this episode, I'm talking with Mita Mallick, speaker, workplace strategist, coach, and bestselling author. She's sharing stories from her own career and what she's learned about surviving toxic leaders - from executives who throw shoes to managers who use “toxic positivity” as a weapon. Mita also offers strategies for spotting warning signs in an interview, building an exit plan that protects your career, and regaining your confidence once you've left. We also explore the patterns that keep people stuck in unhealthy workplaces: how old experiences can shape what we tolerate, why many of us think we can “outwork” a bad boss, and what it really takes to reclaim your well-being. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 How Toxic Jobs Affect Your Life 00:43 Meet Mita Mallick: Speaker, Strategist, and Author 01:22 Surviving Abuse from a Bully Boss 07:16 Workplace Trauma and Mental Health 18:02 How to Spot Red Flags in Job Interviews 28:34 Types of Toxic Bosses and Their Behaviors 38:25 Exit Strategies and Rebuilding Confidence If you'd like more support beyond this conversation, you're welcome to schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. We can help you make thoughtful career decisions, strengthen boundaries, and protect your mental health at work. I also encourage you to check out Mita's new book, The Devil Emails at Midnight: What Good Leaders Can Learn from Bad Bosses. You can connect with her directly on LinkedIn and Instagram to keep learning from her insights on leadership and workplace culture. And of course, you can always stay connected with me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, where I share weekly tips and encouragement. I'd love to hear your thoughts - your questions and feedback always help shape future episodes. Let's talk! I also want to extend a big thank-you to Headway for sponsoring this episode. Headway helps me keep growing, even on the busiest days, by making it possible to learn from the world's top books in just minutes. I use it every day. I truly love it, and I think you will too. Save 25% when you go to ⁠⁠makeheadway.com/lhs⁠⁠ and use the promo code LHS. Let's keep learning and growing together.

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I don't know if I should stay, and I don't know if I should go”? That painful in-between is called relationship ambivalence, and it can quietly drain years of your life if you don't get clarity. In this episode, I'm joined by relationship researcher Dr. Merideth Thompson, who knows that limbo all too well. After staying stuck for nearly a decade, she created Partner Lab, a research-based company focused on improving relationships as a cornerstone of overall wellness. Together we'll explore what the science says about relationship health, the “Clarity Matrix” she developed to cut through the fog, and the real-life questions that matter most when deciding whether to stay or leave. We also talk openly about staying “for the kids,” how familiar but unhealthy dynamics keep us hooked, and why actions, not words, show you whether your partner is really invested. Our goal isn't to tell you whether to stay or go. It's to give you the clarity and confidence to trust yourself again. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Should I Stay or Leave My Relationship? 01:43 Dr. Merideth Thompson's Story and the Birth of Partner Lab 03:34 Research Insights on Relationship Health 09:51 The Clarity Matrix: Influence, Control, and Deal Breakers 14:06 Communication, Conflict Resolution, and Commitment 18:31 Discernment Counseling: Knowing If Change Is Possible 20:24 Actions Speak Louder Than Words in Relationships 28:02 Finding Clarity and Validation in Ambivalence 36:06 Parenting, Divorce, and Protecting Children 44:11 The Clarity Circle: Community and Support Want more support as you practice these skills? My free Communication That Connects Training will give you tools to shift out of conflict loops and into deeper connection, along with a workbook to help you put them into practice. You can also take my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for a clear picture of what's working and what needs care. I'd love to stay connected beyond the podcast - join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube where I share more tools to help you grow together. And if this episode sparked a question or idea you'd like me to explore in the future, let's talk! I'd also like to give a very special thank you to the sponsor of today's episode: Headway. I love reading and learning, but finding the time to sit down with a book can feel impossible. That's why I'm a huge fan of the Headway app. I use it almost every day, and it's been a true game-changer for my personal growth. If you want to keep learning and growing right alongside me, I have an exclusive offer for you! Save 25% when you go to ⁠⁠makeheadway.com/lhs⁠⁠ and use the promo code LHS. Let's keep learning and growing together.

Do you ever feel like life is harder for you than it is for everyone else? On the outside you're smart, capable, and creative. But inside you feel overwhelmed, scattered, and constantly behind. That could be a sign of undiagnosed ADHD. In this episode, I'm talking with Shanna Pearson, Founder and President of Expert ADHD Coaching, about how ADHD often shows up in women, why it's so frequently mistaken for anxiety or depression, and the lifelong impact of being misunderstood. We also share practical tools to help you externalize the chaos in your mind and stay present with the people you love. As you listen, reflect on this:

Have you ever had a blow-up with your partner and then sat in that heavy silence wondering what to do next? This episode is your guide to how to make up after a fight—and the real skill that keeps love strong: repair. Happy couples don't avoid conflict; they learn how to come back to each other with intention, humility, and care. We'll look at why “never go to bed angry” is a myth (your brain actually needs space to calm down), how self-reflection helps you share your feelings without blame, and why small repair bids—like saying, “Yesterday was rough, can we talk tomorrow?”—can open the door to understanding. I'll also share ways to use your couple strengths, whether it's touch, shared rituals, or humor, to restore warmth and connection. Repair takes practice, and each attempt adds another layer of strength to your relationship. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction: How to Make Up After a Fight 02:00 Why Relationship Repair Matters 06:07 The Anatomy of a Repair Attempt 12:07 Repairing After a Bad Fight 21:05 Communicating Effectively With Your Partner 28:07 Using Strengths to Reconnect 37:12 Humility, Growth, and Mindset Shifts 41:08 Free Resources & Next Steps Reflect with me:

Have you ever felt like you just can't win? If you're too nice, people don't take you seriously. If you're too direct, suddenly you're “too much.” For so many women, this double bind — rooted in gender double standards — is exhausting. My guest, Dr. Kate Mason, calls this out for what it is: a trap. We've been sold the lie that you can either be likable or powerful, but not both. And we're here to burn that old playbook and create something better. Kate shows us how likeability isn't weakness at all — it's actually a form of power. But when it tips into people-pleasing and what she calls “imposing syndrome,” we start shrinking ourselves, downplaying our ideas, and apologizing for existing. On the flip side, many women hold back for fear of being labeled aggressive, bossy, or difficult. So how do you walk that tightrope without losing yourself? That's what we're unpacking in this conversation. You'll learn how to recognize the subtle ways you undermine your own authority, how to communicate with both warmth and strength, and how to create a personal style of relating that feels authentic to you. Because the truth is, you don't have to choose between being liked and being respected. As you listen, I'd love for you to reflect:

This episode originally aired on April 3, 2023 (Episode 343), and we're bringing it back because it resonated with so many of you. Whether you're reflecting on a past relationship, navigating one right now, or supporting clients through these dynamics, the lessons are worth revisiting. Why are people with anxious attachment styles and avoidant attachment styles drawn to each other? Can anxious-avoidant relationships work, and most importantly, can they be healthy and satisfying? Yes, they can. But the key is through your understanding of yourself, and of your partner. When you develop true understanding and empathy for your differences, you can create profound connection, and a genuinely secure and healing relationship for both of you. This episode is going to show you how. If you're in an anxious-avoidant relationship, or have been in one before, I hope it helps you understand these dynamics from a new perspective, and empowers you to move toward greater connection and security. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Attachment Styles Matter   02:42 Core Conflict: Desire for Closeness vs. Space   07:04 The Push-Pull Dynamic of Anxious and Avoidant Partners   11:08 Can Anxious-Avoidant Relationships Be Healthy?   16:09 Finding Compatible Partners & Building Security   17:02 Strategies for Anxious Attachment   18:06 Strategies for Avoidant Attachment   33:04 Why Anxious and Avoidant Partners Are Drawn Together   42:05 Avoidant Discomfort with Closeness & Anxious Pursuing Behaviors   45:06 Doing the Work: Self-Awareness and Self-Management   49:04 Practical Tools for Avoidant Partners   55:00 True Love as a Conscious Choice   Want to know where your relationship stands today? Try my free How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz. It gives you quick insights into what's working well and where you might want to focus your growth together. If this resonated with you, let's keep it going. I share more relationship advice and tools on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube, and I'd love to hear your thoughts too, whether it's feedback on the show, questions about past episodes, or ideas for what you'd like me to cover next. Let's talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

“Am I falling behind in life?” If you've ever looked around and thought everyone else is getting married, buying houses, and having babies while you're still figuring things out, you're not alone. In this episode, we're getting real about that sinking, lonely feeling that comes when your life stage doesn't match your friends'. We'll talk about why there's no one “right” timeline, how to get out of the comparison trap, and ways to reconnect with your sense of self-worth no matter where you are right now. I'll share five steps to help you make peace with your path, let go of judgment (yours and theirs), and create the kind of connections that actually feel good. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why You Might Feel Behind in Life 03:36 Feeling Out of Sync With Life Stages 05:00 Escaping the Comparison Trap 10:00 How Values and Circumstances Shape Life Timelines 18:00 Grieving Changes in Friendships 26:00 Overcoming Self and External Judgment 41:00 How to Cultivate New Relationships as an Adult 49:00 Keeping Old Friends Without Losing Yourself What would change if you stopped measuring your life against someone else's milestones? How might it feel to find friends who truly get you in this season? And what old connections might be worth keeping in a different way? If you're ready for more support beyond this episode, you can book a free consultation with me or a member of my team. We'll match you with the right expert for your goals and send you a tailored set of free resources to help you start creating the changes you want in your relationships, your career, or your personal growth. I'm also sharing new tips, insights, and encouragement every week on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube to help you feel confident in your path and connected in your relationships. And I'd love to hear from you. Your feedback, your questions about past episodes, and the topics you'd like me to cover next are always welcome. Let's talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

Have you ever looked at your partner and thought, “I love you… but right now, I really don't like you”? It doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. It simply means you're human. In this episode, we're getting real about what happens when the warm fuzzies fade and the little things like how they breathe, chew, or leave their glass next to the sink suddenly feel huge. Can you love someone and not like them? Absolutely. But how you handle those moments will decide whether they pull you apart or bring you closer. I'll walk you through how to tell the difference between harmless quirks, patterns that need attention, and true deal breakers. You'll learn why 70% of relationship conflicts are about unchangeable differences, how emotional disconnection can make every annoyance feel bigger, and what it actually takes to shift from criticism to curiosity. We'll talk about building the emotional intelligence skills that help you stay grounded, see each other's perspective, and communicate in a way that leads to connection instead of a fight. Episode Breakdown 00:00 The Myth of Effortless Relationships 03:07 Dr. John Gottman's Research on Conflict & Compatibility 05:47 Turning Friction Points Into Opportunities for Relationship Growth 07:10 Daily Annoyances vs. Deal Breakers: A Clarity Exercise 10:35 How Positive Connection Reduces Relationship Frustration 14:22 The Emotional Intelligence Skills That Lead To Better Relationships 22:03 Understanding Your Partner's Perspective with Empathy 24:45 Effective Communication Strategies That Actually Work 31:00 Discernment Counseling: Is This Relationship Fixable? You can have a great relationship with someone who occasionally drives you up the wall, and this episode shows you how. If you're ready to stop spinning in communication loops and finally feel heard without starting a fight, check out my free Communication that Connects 2-Part Training. It gives you the exact skills and tools to handle these moments differently, plus a workbook to help you put them into practice. You can also take my free How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz for a clear snapshot of what's working, what's not, and where you can start building a more connected partnership today. And if this episode struck a chord, let's stay in touch. I'm always sharing more tips and resources on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube to help you turn those little friction points into deeper connection. I also want to hear from you. Your feedback, your questions about past episodes, and the topics you'd love me to cover next are always welcome. Let's talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Have you ever stared at your phone, rereading a text that ended with a period and spiraled into, “Oh no… are they mad at me?” Or maybe someone didn't heart your Instagram story, and suddenly your nervous system is in full red alert mode. If so, you're not alone. And you're definitely not broken. I'm joined by psychotherapist and author Meg Josephson to talk about the fawn response, a lesser-known trauma response that shows up as people-pleasing, overthinking, and needing to manage how others feel about you. We're digging into where this comes from, why it's so common (especially if you grew up walking on eggshells), and how to start untangling yourself from it. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 What Is Relational Hypervigilance? 02:22 Meg Josephson's Journey With People-Pleasing 10:37 Understanding Complex Trauma and Emotional Safety 17:05 What Is the Fawn Response? 23:23 How Hypervigilance Disconnects You From Yourself 31:15 How People-Pleasing Impacts Boundaries 36:27 Why “Negative” Emotions Like Resentment Matter 41:11 Reassurance vs. Emotional Validation 46:07 Letting Go of Control and Reclaiming Your Energy 49:37 Healing Through Self-Awareness and Discomfort 51:13 Where to Find Meg Josephson's Work If you've ever wondered, “Why do I always feel like I'm in trouble?” or “Why is it so hard to set boundaries without guilt?” – this episode will help you understand what's really going on beneath those feelings and what healing can actually look like. Ready to stop twisting yourself into knots trying to keep everyone else happy? My Clarity & Confidence Coaching Program can help you reconnect with you – your voice, your boundaries, your sense of calm. If you're done second-guessing and ready to start showing up authentically, this is your next step.

I have something personal to share. This podcast — this weekly connection with you — is one of my favorite parts of my work. It's not even fair to call it work. If I won the lottery and never had to work for money again, I'd still be here with you, every week. (Recording from my penthouse in Copenhagen, but still). And... I have not won the lottery, sadly. And producing a well-done podcast is expensive. And after 10 years of offering this freely (and with joy!), I've realized that growing it further and making it better means accepting help, and trying new things. Yep, I need to practice what I preach to you!  Here's the deal: I'm partnering with a media company that's doing things differently, giving creators like me opportunities to earn money from their podcasts while also ensuring this is a really nice experience for you. This move will help support the podcast while still making it free for you, always. (So if you were wondering if this was going to a paywall/Patreon situation the answer is NEVER.) What it does mean is that you will start to hear promotions on the show. No sleazy ads. Nothing gross or tone deaf. Just me, reading sponsorship messages for products and services I genuinely like and trust. Behind the scenes, I want you to know I'll be saying NOPE to promo requests for anything and everything that is not congruent with our shared values. I'm doing this as a way to serve you better — to bring in new voices, create richer content, and stay sustainable. But this is new for me. I'm a little nervous about it. I hope it will be good for both of us, but as with all new things, you never really know what's going to happen until you do it. That's why we need to stay connected as we head into this new era together. Seriously. I'm going into this knowing that this isn't just my podcast. It's ours. Like any relationship, we need to communicate! Starting immediately (like, right now

Have you ever had one of those mornings where you're prepping for an important work meeting, juggling a million to-dos and chores, and trying to get the kids out the door with lunches packed and shoes on the right feet? Yeah… same. Life can feel like one big game of Whac-a-Mole leaving us silently begging for a solid work-life balance and direction on how to steer clear of the parental burnout that's staring us right in the face. In this episode, I'm sitting down with Sarah Armstrong — author of The Art of the Juggling Act — to talk about what's really going on with parental burnout, and how you can create realistic, sustainable strategies to manage it all without losing your mind, your health, or your joy. We're diving deep into personal stories, hard-won wisdom, and super-practical ideas to help you break the cycle of exhaustion and start thriving — not just surviving. So grab that cup of lukewarm coffee you forgot you made, and let's dig in. Timestamps: 00:00 – Understanding Parental Burnout 01:13 – Introducing Sarah Armstrong and Her Mission 02:01 – Personal Struggles and Validation 02:54 – The Juggling Act of Parenting and Career 11:21 – Setting Boundaries and Protecting Time 22:43 – The Importance of Self-Care and Recharging 27:29 – Exploring the Meta Message 27:52 – Balancing Ambition and Ability 28:35 – Personal Choices and Career Decisions 31:57 – Volunteering and School Involvement 37:32 – Defining Real Mom 48:36 – The Importance of Coaching If you're nodding your head, wiping a tear, or mentally reviewing your massive to-do list right now—here's what I want you to know: You don't have to figure this all out on your own. My Clarity and Confidence Coaching is designed to help amazing humans like you create sustainable change. If you're feeling burned out, exhausted, and stretched to your limit, this is your sign to get support. Our next cohort is starting very soon and space is limited. You'll work with a therapist trained in evidence-based coaching psychology who gets the struggle of where you are and who can help you make real changes that stick.

Have you ever been in the middle of a therapy session and found yourself silently (or loudly

You might look like you've got it all together. You show up. You work hard. You smile, you joke, you say you're “fine.” But inside? You might be carrying more than anyone knows.  This is especially true for men. You'd never guess it by looking at them, but so many—maybe even someone you love—are silently carrying a weight that feels too heavy to bear. They're suffering in silence, quietly fighting battles they don't feel safe talking about. Not because they're weak—but because the world taught them that real strength means not showing emotion, not needing help, not breaking down.  In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, I'm joined by Steve Kramer—host of the Certified Mama's Boy Podcast and the Kramer & Jess Morning Show—for a very important  conversation about the epidemic of men suffering in silence. Steve opens up about the private pain he hid behind a public smile, how disconnection and emotional isolation nearly overwhelmed him, and what helped him begin to heal. We're shedding light on the emotional experiences so many men keep hidden—because they've never been taught how to talk about them, or even how to recognize what they're feeling. We'll talk about the real risks of going it alone, the quiet ways people often show they're not okay even when they say they are, and how men can get the support they need. If you or someone you care about has ever felt overwhelmed, stuck, or like you're barely holding it together behind the scenes, this conversation is for you. Timestamps: 00:00 – When Life Feels Too Heavy: Steve's Breaking Point 01:46 – Why Are So Many Men Suffering in Silence? 03:34 – Public Smiles, Private Struggles: The Pressure to Perform 04:21 – When It's All Too Much 08:17 – The Call That Changed Everything 15:39 – Check On Your “Happy” Friends 23:35 – How to Tell When It's More Serious Than They're Saying 35:39 – Loneliness vs. Depression: Understanding the Difference 37:23 – Making Friends as an Adult Is Hard—But Necessary 38:53 – Why Men Struggle With Emotional Intimacy 48:06 – What Emotional Intelligence Really Means (and How to Build It) 55:58 – The Personal Work That Keeps Steve Grounded Today 01:00:35 – How to Support a Loved One Who's Struggling 01:05:50 – Steve's New Definition of Happiness If this hit close to home, it's time to take a breath and check in—with yourself, or maybe with a man you care about. Struggles that stay hidden don't just go away—they weigh you down over time, and it can start to take a toll on your health, your relationships, your life. You don't have to figure it out all on your own. There is space for you to be honest. To get support. To be human. There is help that meets you where you are. If you're ready to find your way again, come check out my Clarity and Confidence Coaching. You'll learn how to reconnect with yourself, get unstuck, and create real momentum in your life. Plus, you'll pay just a fraction of the cost of other coaches. It's truly such an amazing value. 

What if the “therapist” you're pouring your heart out to… isn't a therapist at all? In this jaw-dropping episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm joined by investigative journalists Rebecca Ruiz and Lauren Krause to expose the shocking truth behind Seven Cups Therapy and the dark world of therapy fraud—including unlicensed “helpers,” fake reviews, and predatory chatrooms masquerading as support. This isn't just about bad advice or unqualified "virtual counselors." It's about real people being misled, emotionally exploited, and sometimes even preyed upon while they're at their most vulnerable. We dive into how this happens, how to protect yourself (or someone you care about), and how to tell the difference between a real therapist and a clever imposter. If you've ever Googled "online therapy" late at night and clicked on what looked like a trustworthy, affordable platform, you NEED to hear this. Timestamps: 01:43 - What's Really Going On with Online Therapy Platforms 03:44 - Seven Cups Therapy: Behind the Curtain 05:21 - Why You Shouldn't Trust Those Awards and Reviews 07:52 - "Virtual Counselors" vs. Actual Therapists 10:45 - How to Spot Therapy Fraud in the Wild 12:50 - Ethical Gray Zones in the Coaching Industry 14:56 - Red Flags of Fake Support Services 18:48 - The Danger of Marketing Funnels Masquerading as Help 21:22 - How Fake Therapy Can Harm Real People 23:02 - The Truth About Licensing, Credentials & Oversight 25:48 - Behind the Scenes at Seven Cups: A Reporter's Story 28:32 - Inappropriate Chatroom Behavior and No Accountability 37:16 - Free Resources to Help You Make Empowered Choices If you're looking for actual therapy or coaching from trained, licensed professionals—not a chatbot or a mystery stranger in Timbuktu—you can always find help here at Growing Self. We offer real free consultations so you can find a great fit and know exactly what you're signing up for. No pressure, no weird bait-and-switch. Just ethical, expert support that actually works. 

Ever feel like no matter how hard you try, you're still not good enough? Like you're outrunning a wolf that lives inside you, always whispering, “You've got more to prove”. But what if fear isn't your enemy? What if it's actually pointing you toward your purpose? In this deeply transformative conversation with bestselling author Mary Marantz, we explore how the experiences that once made us feel underestimated—and the relentless drive to overachieve—can keep us stuck in cycles of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and fear-fueled productivity.  Mary and I unpack the myths of not-enoughness, talk about the parts of ourselves that try to protect us from failure, and offer a new path forward: one where your gifts and your story become your superpowers. Get ready to look at fear differently, reclaim your confidence, and learn to move forward—not from a place of proving, but from a place of purpose. Timestamps: 00:00 – Why You're Still Not Enough (Even After All the Achievements) 02:01 – Mary's Story: From Single-Wide Trailer to Yale Law 03:55 – Why Fear Isn't the Villain You Think It Is 06:14 – The Power of Owning Your Hard Story 14:15 – When Fear Shows Up, You're Closer Than You Think 18:06 – Creativity, Fear, and the Impostor Trap 24:27 – What To Do With Fear When It Gets Loud 29:23 – Catching Fear in the Act 30:35 – A Totally Different Kind of Coaching 36:01 – Your Inner Critic Isn't Evil—It's Trying to Protect You 39:24 – Procrastination, Perfectionism, and Productivity Traps 45:55 – Underestimated: When They Miss Your Magic (and You Do, Too) 55:58 – Make Art Anyway: Excellence Without Validation 57:02 – Finding Clarity and Confidence If you feel like you're hustling for your worth—trying to prove something to someone, maybe even to yourself—it might be time for a new approach. I created Clarity and Confidence Coaching for exactly this purpose—to support brilliant, driven people just like you in shedding their limiting beliefs, getting clear on their direction, and moving forward into their dream life with confidence.  Clarity and Confidence Coaching is an incredible 8-week journey led by my team of trained therapist-coaches. It's evidence-based, transformational, and wildly affordable — just $49/session right now as part of our practicum program. You'll be guided with depth and care and use life changing coaching strategies to rewrite your inner script and start taking action — from your strengths, not your fear.

What if the secret to living your best life... is remembering that it won't last forever? In this episode of Love, Happiness, and Success, I'm joined by author and mindset coach Karen Salmansohn to explore how the ancient principle of memento mori—remembering that you will die—can radically transform the way you live right now.  Together, we unpack how mortality awareness isn't morbid at all—it's deeply motivational. When you get clear on what truly matters, you can stop spinning your wheels and start living for meaning with clarity, courage, and joy. We'll explore identity-based habits, reverse-engineering your values, and how writing your own eulogy (yep, really!) can actually help you build a life you're proud to live. This isn't about bucket lists or productivity hacks—it's about being intentional and making sure your time, energy, and love are going exactly where you want them to. Timestamps: 0:00 – The Problem With To-Do Lists 3:12 – Facing the Funeral Test: What Will They Say About You? 6:38 – Memento Mori: Mortality as a Motivator 15:05 – Identity-Based Habits and Core Values 20:44 – Who Do You Need to Become? 24:18 – A Ripple Effect That Lasts Generations 27:35 – Aristotle's Happiness Formula 32:10 – The Near-Life Experience We Must Escape 36:42 – Your “To-Die” List vs Your To-Do List 40:55 – Creating Daily Habits That Reflect Who You Want to Be 44:00 – What Happens When You Align With Your Core Values 47:26 – The Marble Ritual: Measuring Time With Intention 53:18 – Monthly Reflections and Making This Summer Count 58:01 – Why Fun and Gratitude Are Core Values Too 1:02:20 – It's Not About Death—It's About Life 1:07:08 – How to Start Living for Meaning Now Don't wait for a crisis to wake you up. Choose to wake up now. Live for meaning. Be intentional. Remember that life is short, and that's what makes it beautiful. And if you're feeling stuck or overwhelmed by where to begin, I'd love to help. My Clarity and Confidence Coaching was made for moments just like this one. In this powerful work, you'll reconnect with your deepest values, rediscover your purpose, and learn how to make intentional choices that move you toward the life you truly want. Whether you're navigating a big life transition or simply ready to stop running on autopilot, coaching gives you tools, insight, and support to create lasting, meaningful change. Curious if it's right for you? You can schedule a free consultation with our team. We'll talk about where you are, where you want to go, and how clarity and confidence coaching can help you bridge the gap. Also, come hang out with me on Instagram or YouTube — I'm always sharing tips, inspiration, and behind-the-scenes real talk to help you stay connected to what really matters. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If this message resonated with you, think of someone in your life who might need to hear it too. Forward this article to them. Let's keep the ripple going. That's living for meaning, too.  

Ever looked around and thought, “I hate my life… I don't want to do this anymore”? If that's where you are right now—first of all, I'm giving you a big virtual hug. Second of all, you're not broken, you're not failing, and you're on the right track. This moment could be the best thing that's happened to you in a long time. Why? Because that awful, burn-it-all-down energy can also be your launchpad to something way, way better. In this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast, I'll walk you through my step-by-step process to help you stop spiraling, get clear, and create a life you're genuinely excited to wake up to. It's time to harness the power of that personal meltdown and turn it into the catalyst for a total life upgrade. Timestamps: 0:00 – The “I Hate My Life” Moment: Why It's Actually a Gift 2:36 – Your Inner Flare Gun: Pain as Your Wake-Up Call 5:20 – Step 1: Get Honest About What's Not Working 8:12 – Step 2: Define What You Do Want (With Real Specifics) 12:47 – Step 3: The Real Reason You're Stuck—Obstacles and Skills Gaps 17:09 – Step 4: Ask the Power Question That Changes Everything 21:42 – Step 5: Build Your Action Plan (One Small Step at a Time) 25:33 – When It's More Than Frustration: Signs of Depression & What To Do 30:55 – What Comes Next: From Stuck to Strategy If you're sitting there thinking, "Yes. This is exactly where I am and I'm ready to change," I want you to know: you don't have to figure this out alone. My Clarity and Confidence Coaching is designed for moments just like this. We'll help you get unstuck, gain clarity on what you really want, identify obstacles (including sneaky internal ones), and create a plan that actually works. The best part? You can book a free consultation call right now to get matched with the right coach for you. You'll get to work with one of our expert therapists trained in coaching psychology at a fraction of the normal cost. Because money should never be the thing that keeps you stuck. Oh! And don't forget to follow me on Instagram or subscribe on YouTube. I share interviews with experts, motivational tips, and evidence-based strategies to create love, happiness, and success in your life. I'd love to see you there. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Know someone else who's silently thinking “I hate my life”? Be their light today. Share this video with them. You might just change everything.

Let's be honest: if overthinking were an Olympic sport, I would've medaled by age ten. And attempts to stop overthinking often never work or they unintentionally make it worse. You too? Then friend, you're in the right place. As a therapist and coach, I've worked with thousands of thoughtful, high-achieving, big-hearted humans who are amazing at thinking things through—but sometimes that superpower turns into a mental trap. The good news? You can absolutely re-train your brain to work for you instead of against you.  In this episode, we'll talk about what overthinking really is, how it's different from anxiety, and the science-backed skills you can start using today to stop overthinking so you can finally find peace, trust yourself, and move forward with clarity and confidence. Timestamps: 00:00 – Understanding Overthinking: The Basics 01:23 – When Caring Becomes Overthinking: Personality Traits That Fuel It 03:06 – Is It Anxiety or Just Overthinking? Here's How to Tell 06:11 – 3 Steps to Stop Overthinking and Rewire Your Brain 09:52 – Overthinking in Relationships: How to Stop the Spiral 14:53 – Mastering Emotional Intelligence to Calm Your Mind 16:43 – When to Get Help: Coaching, Therapy, and Real Solution If you're not totally sure why you're stuck in your head all the time, my free quiz What's Holding You Back? is the perfect next step. It'll help you uncover the mental and emotional patterns that might be fueling your overthinking—and give you personalized insight to start shifting out of it. Think of it like a flashlight for your inner world. And if you're ready for real change, you don't have to figure this out alone. At Growing Self, our team of expert therapists and coaches offers support that's actually effective. Whether you need therapy to tackle deeper anxiety or evidence-based coaching to build confidence and emotional intelligence, schedule a free consultation with us to get matched with someone who's a great fit for you. No pressure. Just help. Lastly, let's stay connected! I'm always sharing new tools, insights, and behind-the-scenes goodies on Instagram and YouTube. Follow me there for weekly insights and support on your growth journey. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Know someone whose brain just won't shhh lately? Be a good friend and share this episode with them. It might be exactly what they need today.

There are few questions more terrifying, more soul-shaking, or more likely to keep you awake at 3 a.m. than this one: How to know when your marriage is over? I mean… whew. Just saying that out loud makes my stomach flip. As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I've walked this path with many people, and in this episode of the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, I'll help you walk through it too—with clarity, compassion, and courage. Today we're unpacking the hidden signs, hard truths, and hopeful possibilities around one of life's biggest crossroads. We'll talk about the difference between a rough patch and a dead end, what to do if your partner won't engage, and how to get the real support you need to move forward confidently—whether that means healing your relationship or letting it go. Timestamps: 00:00 – Is It Over? The Emotional Toll of Not Knowing 02:47 – When Your Relationship Lives in the Gray Zone 10:40 – Why "Couples Counseling" Often Doesn't Work—and What Does 31:02 – What Is Discernment Coaching, and How Can It Help? 49:41 – Free Resources + Your Next Right Step I've put together a free resource that might help you take the next step: my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz. It's a quick and insightful tool that can help you see where things are strong, where they're struggling, and what might be possible. You'll also get a custom report with suggestions you can actually use. You can find the quiz right here on my website. If you're ready to talk to someone about your relationship — whether you're hoping to repair it or just looking for clarity — my team and I are here. You can book a free consultation call and we'll help you find the right next step, whether that's discernment coaching, relationship therapy, or support just for you. And hey — I'd love to stay connected. You can find me on Instagram and YouTube where I'm always sharing tips, tools, and a little bit of love to help you create the life and relationships you deserve. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Know someone who's going through this exact same thing? Maybe they're stuck in the gray zone too, or quietly suffering through something they haven't told anyone about. Please send this their way. You never know — sharing this episode might be the first step toward their healing.  

Ever feel like your ex is living rent-free in your head, even though the relationship is so over? Whether it's been weeks, months, or (gulp) years since your breakup, if you're wondering “Why do I keep thinking about my ex?” and you're still caught in a loop of thoughts, memories, or even fantasies about them, I made this episode just for you. I know firsthand — both as a therapist and from my own experience — that getting stuck on an ex is exhausting. But there is a path forward. In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, I'm walking you through exactly why this happens (spoiler alert: it's not your fault — it's biology), and more importantly, how to finally break free so you can move forward into peace, clarity, and emotional freedom. Together, we'll explore the hidden layers that keep people emotionally stuck after a breakup — and I'll share some of the healing work in my Heal From Heartbreak Program that can help you finally stop thinking about your ex for good. Timestamps: 00:00 – Why Do I Keep Thinking About My Ex? 06:30 – Love and Addiction: Your Brain on Heartbreak 14:58 – The Truth About Breakup Recovery 28:17 – Emotional Loose Ends: The Silent Saboteur 38:05 – Rebuilding Your Self & Reclaiming Your Future 48:14 – You're Not Doomed to Keep Thinking About Your Ex If this episode resonated with you, please know this is just the beginning of what's possible. If you want a full, guided journey through every layer of healing, I created the Heal From Heartbreak Program for exactly this purpose. In the self-paced program, I'll walk you through all nine stages of breakup recovery, with optional group coaching or one-on-one support from our expert breakup coaches — all of whom are licensed therapists trained in breakup recovery. This isn't just about “getting over it”. It's about becoming whole again. You are not alone in this, and with the right support you can turn this breakup into your biggest breakthrough. This program goes live this Friday, 5/16 and you can sign up for the waitlist here: Heal From Heartbreak Program. Once the program is live, you can start healing right away. No more waiting to feel better or trying to figure it out on your own. I'm so excited for you to check it out. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Ready to find out what stage of healing you're in? Take my free breakup quiz to find out and get a free custom report with the next steps to heal your broken heart. And if you know someone who keeps spiraling over their ex, share this with them. Forward the link, post it on your story, or send them a little nudge. Be the friend who helps them start healing.  

Ever wake up at 3am thinking, “What am I doing with my life?” If so, you are not alone—and you are definitely not lost. In this inspiring episode of Love, Happiness, and Success, I'm joined by bestselling author, NYU professor, and former editor-in-chief of the Harvard Business Review, Suzy Welch, to help you get the career clarity and alignment that you deserve. Suzy shares her personal journey of reinvention and introduces her life-changing methodology from her new book, Becoming You. This isn't just motivational fluff. We're talking concrete tools and research-backed frameworks to help you get clarity around your path, stop second-guessing yourself, and make empowered choices about your life and career—without burning it all down. Timestamps: 00:00 – “What Am I Doing With My Life?" 02:20 – Suzy Welch's Story 05:55 – Discovering Your Real Values 14:57 – What to Do When the Lighthouse Goes Dark 29:35 – The 3-Part Framework That Changes Lives 35:23 – The Value of “Scope”: Big Life vs. Little Life 40:13 – Eudemonia and Generational Differences 43:35 – Aptitudes, Personality, and the Enneagram 47:23 – Don't Quit the Job Yet: Is It the Role or the Culture? 52:45 – Conclusion and Final Thoughts I hope this episode inspired you as much as it did me. And I want you to know you don't have to figure this out on your own. Our Clarity and Confidence Coaching pairs you with an expert therapist trained in coaching psychology to help you uncover your purpose, break through fear and confusion, and take decisive steps toward a fulfilling career.  You can schedule a free consultation to talk to an expert on our team. No pressure, just a warm, judgment-free conversation with someone who truly understands. This is your moment to stop second-guessing and start moving forward — with clarity, courage, and real support. And hey — if you're not already following me on Instagram or YouTube, come say hi! I'm always sharing bite-sized wisdom, clips from interviews with experts, and free resources to support you on your journey to love, happiness, and success. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If you thought of someone while listening to this—someone who's been feeling lost or unclear about their career path—share this episode with them. It might be exactly the breakthrough they need.  

Have you ever caught yourself reaching for a glass of wine, scrolling endlessly, or obsessively organizing your to-do list… and thought, Wait, why am I doing this again?! You might not think of yourself as "addicted" — but what if you're using these “fixes” to soothe something deeper? In today's episode, I'm sitting down with the incredible Ian Morgan Cron — bestselling author, psychotherapist, and spiritual teacher — to unpack a radical idea: We're all a little bit addicted.  Whether it's people-pleasing, overworking, or that toxic relationship you just can't quit, we're diving deep into why we get stuck, how the 12-step process can change your life (even if you don't have a “capital A” addiction), and how to truly heal from the inside out. You'll walk away with a totally new roadmap for transformation — and trust me, by the end of this episode, you're going to feel empowered, enlightened, and ready to love yourself and your life in a whole new way. Let's do this! Timestamps: 00:00 – Why You Keep Going Back to Your "Fix" 01:21 – Meet Ian Morgan Cron: Author, Therapist, Spiritual Teacher 01:45 – The 12 Steps: Not Just for “Addicts” Anymore 07:55 – What the Enneagram Reveals About You 11:46 – Applying the 12 Steps to Everyday Life 24:57 – The Freedom in Admitting You're Powerless 40:40 – Feeling “Not at Home” in Yourself? 41:36 – The Dangerous Myth of the "Quick Fix" 44:37 – The Paradox of Letting Go and Taking Responsibility 53:13 – Addictions, Trauma, and the Road to Compassion 56:51 – Real Stories of Radical Transformation 59:50 – You Are Not Alone: Why Community Heals 1:11:19 – Next Steps for Your Healing Journey If you found yourself nodding along today — realizing that maybe, just maybe, there's a “fix” that's been holding you back — I've got the perfect next step for you. Take my free What's Holding You Back? Quiz! It's designed to help you get crystal clear on the hidden patterns, habits, or beliefs that might be quietly running the show in your life. Once you see what's really going on beneath the surface, it becomes so much easier to break free and move forward with confidence, clarity, and strength. And if you're ready for even deeper growth, let's talk! Schedule a free consultation with one of the talented coaches or therapists at Growing Self. We'll help you put everything you're learning into action — so you can finally create the joyful, thriving life you deserve. Oh, and don't forget — let's stay connected! Come hang out with me on Instagram or YouTube for more real talk, fresh inspiration, and plenty of support. We're in this together. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobbywww.growingself.com P.S. If you thought of someone while listening to this episode — maybe a friend who's been struggling or could just use a little love and insight — Please share this episode with them. A little encouragement can change everything.  

What if your anxiety, brain fog, or mood swings aren't in your mind... but in your mitochondria? I know—that sounds wild. But in this jaw-dropping episode of Love, Happiness & Success, I'm talking with Dr. Bret Scher about something that completely changed the way I think about mental health: Metabolic Psychiatry. We dive into the cutting-edge (but surprisingly old!) science behind mind and energy psychiatry  that connects mental health challenges like depression, anxiety, ADHD, and even serious psychiatric conditions with how your body uses energy. Spoiler alert: your brain runs on fuel, and what you eat matters a lot more than we were taught in grad school. Together, Dr. Scher and I unpack how ketogenic therapy is helping people reclaim their mental clarity, lift mood disorders, and, in some cases, experience complete transformation. If you've been “doing the work” and still not feeling like yourself, this conversation might be the missing piece you've been searching for. Timestamps: 00:00 The Link Between Metabolism and Mental Health 01:17 Dr. Brett Scher and Metabolic Psychiatry 02:39 The History and Science Behind Ketogenic Therapy 10:36 Exploring the Ketogenic Diet and Its Benefits 17:59 Implementing a Ketogenic Diet 30:32 Patient Transformations and Success Stories 32:23 Impact of Ketogenic Diet on Mental Health 33:35 Inflammation and Brain Function 34:46 Ketogenic Therapy vs. Traditional Approaches 39:11 GLP-1 Drugs and Metabolic Health 42:42 Implementing Dietary Changes in Families 46:01 Ketogenic Diet for Autism Spectrum Disorders 49:27 Comparing Ketogenic and Plant-Based Diets 52:23 Resources and Final Thoughts I learned SO much from chatting with Dr. Scher. I hope you did too. If you're ready for a more personalized approach to start feeling like yourself again—clear, focused, calm, and energized—I'd love for you to check out my Clarity & Confidence Coaching. It's a powerful way to build self-awareness and make meaningful changes in your life while getting expert support and structure from a licensed therapist trained in coaching psychology. You can book a free consultation call to take the next step. We'll answer all of your questions and help you get started.  And hey, let's stay connected! You can find me sharing more science-meets-heart insights over on Instagram and YouTube—where I drop fresh content every week to help you grow, thrive, and live your best life. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If you thought of someone while listening to this—someone who's been struggling, or who's always trying to "fix their mindset" but nothing's working—share this episode with them. It might be exactly the breakthrough they need.  

Ever feel like you've been in therapy forever and nothing's actually changing? Or maybe you have a life coach that loves to just hang out and vibe instead of actually helping you reach your goals?  In this eye-opening episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on something that has been driving me absolutely bonkers for years—and might be costing you time, money, and progress. If you've ever felt stuck in therapy, underwhelmed by coaching, or just totally confused about which path is right for your growth, this one's for you. I'm talking about the real difference between coaching versus counseling, why one might be the wrong fit for what you actually need, and how to finally choose the right support system that gets results (without wasting another minute or dollar). Whether you're working on your relationship, your career, or your confidence, this episode will help you get clarity around your path forward. Timestamps: 00:00 Unveiling a Hidden Industry Secret 01:35 The Therapy Gap: Why Traditional Methods Fall Short 06:18 Understanding the Different Types of Therapy 23:34 The Rise of Coaching: A New Solution? 24:26 The Wild West of Coaching: Risks and Realities 34:31 Finding the Right Help: Therapy vs. Coaching 38:29 Evidence-Based Clarity & Confidence Coaching Program 45:54 Conclusion and Next Steps If you're nodding along and thinking, “Yes, this is what I've been missing,” I'd love to invite you into our Clarity & Confidence Coaching Program. This is a results-driven, action-oriented coaching experience designed for people who are ready to make real changes—not just talk about them. What makes it different? It's led by licensed therapists who are trained in evidence-based coaching psychology—so you get both the depth and the direction. No fluff. No therapy traps. Just growth that actually sticks. Schedule a free consultation call to see if it's a good fit. We'll talk about what you're working on, where you feel stuck, and how we can help you move forward with clarity and confidence. If you want to keep learning and growing, I'd love to connect with you on Instagram and  YouTube! Come hang out with me and get tons of free insights and encouragement every week. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Know someone who's stuck in therapy, overwhelmed by coaching options, or just craving something real? Share this video with them. You might just be the reason they finally find what works.

Ever feel like you're stuck in molasses with zero motivation, energy, or sparkle? Me too, friend. Let's talk about how to get out of a slump.  In this episode of Love, Happiness, and Success, we're diving deep into that “meh” space we all land in from time to time. Maybe your house is a mess, your energy is flatlined, and your dinner for the third night in a row is fried takeout. Here's the thing, slumps happen. And they are 100% resolvable. I'll be unpacking why these slumps sneak in, what they really mean, and most importantly—how to actually get out of them. I'm sharing science-backed strategies, personal stories, and the little mindset and habit shifts that truly move the needle. By the end of this episode, you'll have your very own slump-busting plan—and you'll know exactly where to start, whether you need a mindset shift, a behavior reboot, or both.  Timestamps: 00:00 — Slumps are normal (but let's not stay there) 06:18 — How to spot your personal “uh-oh” signs 10:32 — Slump vs. Depression: What you really need to know 24:44 — Why slumps happen: burnout, transitions, and mystery fogs 31:55 — Lifestyle habits that quietly wreck your vibe 33:17 — Why trying to “feel better” first doesn't work 34:24 — What to do instead (this changes everything) 42:51 — Create your personalized slump-busting strategy 52:28 — Quick wins: tiny shifts that make a big impact 57:54 — Your next steps to get back to YOU If you're ready for a real, lasting reset—come join me and my amazing team in the Clarity & Confidence Coaching Program. This is where the magic happens. Together, we'll help you reconnect with your sense of purpose, build habits that actually support the life you want, and shift the unhelpful thoughts that have been keeping you stuck. It's not about a temporary mood boost—it's about creating true, sustainable transformation from the inside out. Schedule your free consultation now and let's start building your breakthrough together. And, I'd love for us to stay connected! Each week, I drop a new podcast episode and share resources to help you create love, happiness, and success in your life. I also go live every Thursday on Instagram and Youtube to talk about the topic of the week and answer all of your questions. So check out the full podcast episode and join me on Thursday at 12pm MT / 2pm EST. I'd be so glad to see you! Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com  

Ever leave a conversation feeling like your brain's been scrambled and you're not sure why? Maybe you're suddenly questioning your own reality, feeling guilty, or bending over backwards for someone who... let's be real, might not deserve it? If that sounds familiar, pull up a chair, my friend. Today, we're pulling back the curtain on manipulation—not to teach you these tactics (please don't use them!), but so you can spot them, disarm them, and never get played again. In this episode of the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, I'm breaking down the five most common manipulative tactics, why they work so well, and how to protect yourself—with confidence, clarity, and maybe even a little compassion. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – Welcome to the dark side (just kidding... kind of) 01:28 – Why manipulation works on good people 04:51 – Awareness is your superpower 06:01 – Guilt-tripping 101: How they hook you 09:07 – How to disarm a guilt trip like a boss 18:03 – Playing the victim: When empathy is used against you 31:36 – Love bombing: It's not just for dating apps 33:01 – Healthy relationships take time (and boundaries) 36:55 – Narcissists, splitting, and people who come on way too strong 43:22 – Withdrawal + passive aggression = manipulation in disguise 54:11 – Let's talk about gaslighting (finally!) 01:01:18 – What to do if you have vulnerabilities that get you caught in this stuff If you're realizing that certain relationships in your life are way more complicated than they should be—or if you've been stuck in a cycle of guilt, confusion, or second-guessing yourself—you don't have to stay there. You deserve support. You deserve clarity. You deserve healthy connections. Come connect with me and my amazing team at Growing Self and schedule your free consultation. Whether you're looking for therapy or coaching, we're here to help you break free from toxic patterns and build the life and relationships you actually want. And hey—don't be a stranger! You can find me on Instagram and YouTube for even more real-talk, tools, and live Q&A sessions. Let's grow together. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Know someone who's been struggling with manipulation in their relationships? Be a good friend—share this with them. It might be the lightbulb moment they've been waiting for.