The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast With Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Long distance relationships can be sweet and brutal at the same time. You miss each other, you overthink texts, you put way too much pressure on visits, and sometimes one weird phone call can throw off your whole week. If you've been trying to figure out how to make long distance work without losing your mind or your connection, this episode is for you. This week on the Love, Happiness, and Success podcast, I'm revisiting an earlier conversation with my colleague Brogan Crosby about what actually helps long distance couples stay strong. Brogan is a couples therapist at Growing Self, and her clinical work and master's research both focus on long distance relationships. Together, we talk about the real challenges couples run into, including disconnection, insecurity, pressure around time together, and the fear that physical distance might start turning into emotional distance. We also get into what helps. This is a practical conversation about how to stay connected in a long distance relationship, how to build emotional security across the miles, and how to use love languages creatively when you can't just reach for each other at the end of a hard day. From FaceTime and shared meals to letters, movie nights, and thoughtful gestures, this episode is full of grounded long distance relationship advice that can help your relationship feel stronger and more secure. Brogan also shares something that deserves more attention: long distance relationships can have real strengths too. Space can create room for personal growth, deeper appreciation, and more intentional connection. We also talk about what happens when the distance finally closes, because moving in together is its own transition. Even when love is solid, couples still need honest conversations about expectations, roles, and how to stay connected in a new season of the relationship. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction to Long Distance Relationships 04:55 Common Challenges in Long Distance Relationships 15:01 Unexpected Strengths of Long Distance Relationships 20:06 Emotional Security and Staying Connected 35:01 Love Languages Across the Miles 48:13 Transitioning from Long Distance to Living Together If you've been carrying the stress of loving someone from far away, and you're tired of wondering whether the distance is slowly pulling you apart, I'd love to connect with you. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It's a private, secure space where you can tell us what's been happening in your relationship, what's feeling hard, and what you wish felt different. We'll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can feel more connected, more understood, and more confident about how to build a strong, secure relationship, even across the miles. You don't have to keep trying to figure this out on your own.

Most relationship mistakes do not begin with one dramatic betrayal or blowout fight. More often, they begin with unhealthy relationship habits like defensiveness, blame, criticism, neglect, and communication problems in relationships that slowly create emotional disconnection over time. If your relationship has been feeling harder than it used to, this episode will help you understand why. In this Love, Happiness and Success classic, I'm revisiting one of my favorite conversations about the subtle patterns that can quietly damage even a good relationship. As a marriage counselor, I've seen how easy it is to focus on what your partner is doing wrong while missing the ways you may also be contributing to resentment, distance, and disconnection. We're talking about some of the most common relationship mistakes, including making the relationship too much about yourself, blaming your issues instead of taking responsibility for them, neglecting your partner, criticizing instead of communicating clearly, bottling up feelings, and expecting problems to get better without direct effort. We also get into why blame, defensiveness, and mind-reading are so destructive, and what helps instead: empathy, accountability, honest communication, and the willingness to address problems while they are still small. This episode is a reminder that strong relationships are built with intention. When you can recognize the unhealthy relationship habits that are getting in the way, it becomes much easier to create more trust, more warmth, and more connection. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Relationship Mistakes That Cause Real Damage 04:25 Unhealthy Relationship Habits That Push Partners Apart 10:03 Communication Problems in Relationships: Blame, Defensiveness, and Criticism 20:26 Emotional Disconnection: When Couples Stop Really Talking 30:08 How to Fix Relationship Problems Before They Get Worse 42:03 Final Takeaways on Healthy Relationship Skills If you're recognizing some of these patterns in your own relationship, and you're ready for things to feel different, I'd love to connect with you. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It's a private, secure space where you can tell us what's really been happening in your relationship, what's feeling hard, and what you wish felt different. We'll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can feel more understood, more connected, and more confident in your ability to create healthy, secure love. You do not have to keep trying to figure this out on your own.

If you want a secure bond but keep feeling activated or shut down, you're not doomed.  A secure bond gets built through emotional intimacy, trust, and safe relationships, not willpower. Most people hear about attachment styles and think, “Okay… that's me.” But insight alone doesn't change your nervous system. And it doesn't change your relationship patterns. In this conversation, Dr. Amir Levine and I are talking about secure attachment, what it really means, and how to become securely attached in the relationships that matter most. Knowing you lean anxious or avoidant is one thing. Creating emotional safety in relationships is something else entirely. When love starts to feel like chasing, bracing, second-guessing, or shutting down, that is usually not a character flaw. It is a pattern that can change. Dr. Amir Levine is a Columbia-trained psychiatrist and neuroscientist, an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center, and the coauthor of the multi-million-copy bestseller Attached. In his new book, Secure, he explains what a secure attachment style in relationships looks like, why attachment is not a fixed sentence from childhood, and how safe, steady relationships can help your nervous system move toward more trust and connection. We talk about anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment, the difference between attachment patterns and attachment disorders, and why security matters far beyond romance. You'll also hear why avoidant attachment style communication patterns can leave both people feeling more distressed, how small moments of responsiveness build trust, and why some relationships keep your attachment system activated instead of helping you feel safe. As you listen, notice which relationships help you feel calmer, clearer, and more like yourself. Then notice which ones leave you spinning. That awareness can change a lot. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Knowing Your Attachment Style Still Leaves You Stuck 03:14 What Secure Attachment Looks Like in Real Life 06:31 Which Attachment Style Sounds Most Like You? 15:40 Why Secure Attachment Changes More Than Your Love Life 20:21 Can You Become More Secure Over Time? 26:55 The Five Traits That Create Emotional Safety 37:35 How to Ask for What Helps You Feel Safe 48:08 The Tiny Moments That Rewire Attachment 55:32 How to Break the Anxious Protest Cycle 1:02:17 When It's Time to Get Support If this conversation brought up some clarity for you about your relationship patterns, attachment style, or the ways you long to feel more secure with the people you love, I want to offer you something. At Growing Self, we make it easy to find the right kind of support for exactly what you're working through. You can answer three quick questions and we'll help you book a free consultation with the expert on our team who fits you best. It's private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes. Whether you want help creating more emotional safety in relationships, breaking old patterns, or moving toward a more secure attachment, we'd be honored to support you.

If parenting is bringing out anger you don't recognize… you're not alone. And if anxiety is riding shotgun in your nervous system, same. Today we're talking emotions, conflict, and repair so you can stay safe and secure even when things get messy. In this conversation, I'm joined by Eli Harwood, known as the “Attachment Nerd,” a licensed therapist, bestselling author, and educator who specializes in attachment-based parenting and relationship guidance, helping families and individuals nurture secure attachment patterns. We're talking about why parenting anger happens, what it may be trying to tell you, and how to work with it without shaming yourself or taking it out on your kids. If you've been looking for anger management for parents that feels compassionate, grounded, and actually useful in real life, this episode is for you. We also get into parental anxiety, emotion coaching, secure attachment parenting, and the kind of inner work that helps you stay steady when your child is anything but. Eli shares why anger is not the enemy, why repair matters more than perfection, and how your own childhood story can quietly shape the way you respond to stress, conflict, and your kids' biggest feelings. In a lot of ways, this conversation becomes an anger management parents guide for the real moments nobody prepares you for. As you listen, I'd love for you to consider: when your child is upset, what gets activated in you first: anger, anxiety, shame, helplessness, or something else? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Parenting Brings Up Old Patterns 05:10 Learning Emotionally Secure Parenting 10:15 Parenting Anger as a Signal 13:05 What to Do When Your Child Says “I Hate You” 19:55 Bedtime Battles, Screens, and Repair 24:56 Healing Your Own Story With Compassion 34:20 Why Parents Need Support Too 38:53 Managing Parental Anxiety 52:24 Dr. Lisa's Reflections and Next Steps And if today's conversation left you thinking, Yep… this is bigger than just bedtime and bad moods, I'd love to offer you a gentle next step. We created a simple, private way to help you find the right kind of support at Growing Self. Just answer three quick questions, and we'll help you book a free consultation with the expert who fits you best. It's secure, it only takes a couple of minutes, and it can be a meaningful first step if you're ready to do the kind of healing work that changes not just how you feel, but how you show up in your relationships and your parenting, too. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. This episode is proudly sponsored by Upwork — and it's a sponsorship I said yes to because I actually use it. When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free.

If you have communication problems, you're probably not fighting about what you think you're fighting about. And that's good news. Because the real issue is usually conflict & repair, not the “topic” and with clear boundaries, you can start to repair trust instead of repeating the same fight. Dr. Lisa is joined by Mika Ross, a Nationally Board Certified, Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and relationship coach based in Missouri. Mika has over 18 years of experience in the field, specializing in individual and couples therapy. Together, they unpack what conflict resolution in relationships really looks like, why defensiveness in relationships keeps couples stuck, and how to stop arguing with your partner when every conversation starts feeling loaded. This conversation is full of real-life examples about the moments that so often turn into the same exhausting fight on repeat. Dr. Lisa and Mika talk about how to repair a relationship after a fight, how to stop fighting with your partner without chasing resolution too fast, and how to repair a relationship by getting underneath criticism and into the softer emotions that are usually driving the whole thing. You'll also hear why even well-intentioned concern can land as criticism, why old conflict patterns have so much staying power, and what it looks like to come back together in a way that builds trust instead of doing more damage. As you listen, I'd love for you to consider: What are you and your partner really fighting about underneath the surface? Where are criticism and defensiveness getting in the way of connection? And what might change if the goal stopped being to win the argument and started being to repair the relationship? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why You Keep Having the Same Fight 06:06 When Criticism Starts the Spiral 17:45 When Good Intentions Land Wrong 23:45 Boundaries, Hurt, and Repair 34:48 Why You Don't Need to Fix It Right Away 43:23 What Healthy Conflict Repair Looks Like 56:18 Getting the Right Support And if this conversation brought up that tender awareness that you and your partner keep missing each other in the same painful ways, I'd love to offer you a next step. You can schedule a free consultation with me or someone on my team at Growing Self as a kind, thoughtful place to begin. It's a private, secure space where you can share what's been happening in your relationship, what you hope will feel different, and let us help you find the right support for you. Thousands of people have transformed themselves, their relationships, or their careers through Growing Self. You can too. Answer three quick questions, and we'll help you get matched with the right expert. It only takes a couple of minutes. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self This episode is proudly sponsored by Upwork — and it's a sponsorship I said yes to because I actually use it. When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.

Therapy is supposed to be private—but AI is changing the rules. If you're working with a psychologist or counselor, you deserve to know what happens to your words. This episode is a reality-check on human psychology, “AI therapy,” and safer, science-backed tools. There is a lot of buzz right now around AI therapy, therapy AI tools, and every new AI therapy app promising support, insight, and convenience. Some of that technology may become genuinely useful over time. Right now, though, this space is moving much faster than the guardrails around privacy, ethics, consent, and clinical care. In this episode, I'm joined by Candice Thompson, a seasoned licensed marriage and family therapist (MMFT, LMFT) practicing in Silicon Valley, for a grounded, honest conversation about what people need to understand before trusting an AI therapy app with their most personal thoughts. We talk about emotionally convincing tools that can agree with you even when you're wrong, the risks around recordings, transcripts, consent, and AI therapy notes, and why human therapy offers something a chatbot cannot. If you've been curious about AI therapy, concerned about privacy, or wondering whether your therapist is using behind-the-scenes AI tools, this conversation will help you know what to ask and what to watch for. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why AI Therapy Raises Privacy Concerns 01:57 AI Therapy and the Future of Mental Health 08:59 Who Is Building AI Therapy Tools? 12:14 When AI Therapy Reinforces Harmful Thinking 20:41 How to Evaluate an AI Therapy App 35:08 Privacy and Consent in Therapy 43:29 The Risks of AI Therapy Notes 46:41 What Human Therapists Offer That AI Cannot 52:06 Why AI Cannot Be Your Therapist If this conversation stirred up bigger questions about trust, privacy, or what kind of support actually feels safe for you, I'd love to offer you a thoughtful next step. You can schedule a free consultation with me or one of the wonderful experts on my team at Growing Self. It's private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes to answer three quick questions so we can help you find the right support for you and connect you with the expert who fits you best. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self This episode is proudly sponsored by Upwork — and it's a sponsorship I said yes to because I actually use it. When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.

There are moments when you know something does not feel right, and yet you still hear yourself saying yes. You go along. You stay quiet. You tell yourself it is not worth making an issue of it. I'm revisiting this conversation with Dr. Sunita Sah because it speaks so clearly to that experience, and to the very real reasons it can be so hard to stand up for yourself. In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, we talk about what gets in the way of speaking up, saying no, and staying true to your values when there is pressure to do otherwise. Dr. Sah, a physician, organizational psychologist, and author of Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes, shares why so many thoughtful, capable people struggle with assertiveness and personal boundaries, especially when being agreeable has been rewarded for so long. We also talk about the hidden cost of compliance, her research on “insinuation anxiety,” and what it looks like to practice speaking up in a grounded, honest way. This conversation offers a powerful reminder that standing up for yourself is not about becoming harsh. It is about staying connected to your values and trusting yourself enough to act on them. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Limits of Compromise 08:37 Why It Can Feel So Hard to Speak Up 18:30 The Fear Beneath Staying Quiet 27:09 Saying Yes When You Mean No 38:32 The Five Stages of Defiance If you're noticing how often you override yourself, dismiss your own discomfort, or keep saying yes when something in you is asking for a no, this may be worth exploring more deeply. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It's a private, supportive space where you can talk about what feels hard right now and what you want to feel different. We'll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can move forward with more clarity, confidence, and trust in yourself. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self This episode is proudly sponsored by Upwork — and it's a sponsorship I said yes to because I actually use it. When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit⁠ shopify.com/lhs⁠ to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.

If burnout and stress are following you home from the workplace, you're not imagining it. When your personal life starts shrinking, it's often because your mind never truly leaves work. And if you can't set boundaries at work mentally, your body stays in fight-or-flight after hours. In this conversation, I'm joined by Dr. Guy Winch Ph.D., an internationally renowned psychologist who advocates for integrating the science of emotional health into our daily lives. We're talking about what happens when work hijacks your mind, your energy, your relationships, and your ability to actually be present in your own life. If you've been trying to figure out how to stop thinking about work, how to leave work at work, or how to set boundaries at work in a way that truly protects your personal life, this episode is for you. We unpack why burnout is not just about long hours, but about rumination, emotional overload, and staying mentally switched on long after the workday ends. Dr. Guy shares practical ideas for burnout recovery, including how to stop ruminating after hours, shift out of autopilot, and create simple transition rituals that help you reconnect with yourself and the people you love. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 When Work Follows You Home 04:52 Dr. Guy Winch's Burnout Wake-Up Call 10:11 Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Work 15:19 How to Stop Ruminating After Hours 21:56 How Burnout Hurts Relationships 31:17 How to Leave Work at Work 36:37 Why Autopilot Makes Burnout Worse 39:44 What Burnout Recovery Actually Looks Like 42:59 When Burnout Starts Affecting Love 48:58 Dr. Lisa's Takeaways and Next Steps If this conversation felt a little too familiar, I'd love to offer you a next step. At Growing Self, we help people work through burnout, relationship stress, and the patterns that keep life feeling harder than it needs to. You can schedule a free consultation by answering three quick questions. It's private, secure, and designed to help you find the right support for you. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.comStrawberry.me — Career coaching that helps you gain clarity, build a strategic plan, and take confident steps toward the career you want with expert support. Get 50% off your first coaching session at strawberry.me/LHS.

Knowing how to love yourself sounds simple, but for many people, it feels confusing, frustrating, and just out of reach. You may understand that self love matters, but still find yourself stuck in patterns of self-criticism, relying on others for validation, or wondering why it's so hard to feel okay on the inside. If that's true for you, you're not alone. In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, I'm revisiting an essential conversation about how to love yourself in a way that is grounded, practical, and actually works. Because self love is not a feeling you wait for. It's something you build through the way you treat yourself every day. We talk about what self love really is, and what it isn't. You'll learn why love is a choice, not a feeling, and how that shift changes the way you approach boundaries, self-talk, and daily decisions. We also explore the inner critic, where it comes from, and why relying on external validation can leave you feeling unstable in relationships. You'll walk away with a clearer understanding of how to love yourself in real life, including how to become more emotionally safe with yourself, take care of your wellbeing, and support your own growth over time. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why self-love feels confusing and hard to define 08:30 Why love is a choice, not a feeling 22:40 Romantic love, self-love, and common misunderstandings 38:30 What self love actually looks like in daily life 48:50 Boundaries, self-care, and protecting yourself 58:30 Where the inner critic comes from 01:05:00 Parenting, teens, and how self-love is taught 01:09:30 Therapy, coaching, and how self-love grows over time If you've been struggling with self love or feeling stuck in patterns of self-criticism, you don't have to figure this out alone. This kind of work takes time, intention, and support. If you're ready to learn how to love yourself in a more consistent and meaningful way, I'd love to connect with you. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It's a private, supportive space where you can talk about what's been feeling hard, what you've been experiencing internally, and what you want to feel instead. We'll help you get matched with the right therapist or coach so you can build self compassion, strengthen your sense of self worth, and create a healthier relationship with yourself. You don't have to keep doing this alone.

If you're craving real closeness, this episode on friendships is for you. Because feeling lonely isn't really about not having people in your life,  it's about not feeling known. And that's where emotional intimacy and real connection begin. Many people wonder, “Why do I feel so lonely even though I have friends?” or struggle with the quiet ache of feeling lonely even with friends. In this conversation, we're exploring why adult friendship can feel surprisingly complicated, and why making friends as an adult often requires skills we were never taught. My guest, Barnet Bain, is an award-winning filmmaker, author, and teacher whose new book, How to Be a Friend (in an Unfriendly World), grew out of a Columbia University course he created for psychologists. Together, we're talking about the real reason adult friendships can feel hard, why so many people struggle with how to make friends as an adult, and the powerful friendship skills that help create emotional intimacy and lasting connection. You'll hear why feeling lonely even with friends is more common than you might think, how our modern world can unintentionally make adult friendship harder to sustain, and why building meaningful relationships is less about finding the right people and more about developing the inner skills that make connection possible. As you listen, I'd love for you to reflect on this: if you've been wondering why do I feel lonely even though I have friends, what might change if you shifted the focus from finding better friends… to becoming the kind of friend who creates deeper connections? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why You Feel Lonely Even With Friends 04:44 The Friendship Skills No One Teaches Us 08:38 What Healthy Adult Friendship Really Requires 19:02 Why the World Feels More Disconnected 28:11 Friendship as a Practice (And Why It Matters) 34:48 Why Trying to Fix People Blocks Emotional Intimacy 44:16 How to Make Friends as an Adult 50:09 How to Build and Maintain Real Friendships 53:39 The Power of Being Fully Present If this conversation resonates and you're realizing how much you want deeper, more meaningful relationships in your life, you don't have to figure it out alone. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team at Growing Self. It's a private, supportive space where you can talk about what's been going on in your relationships and what you'd like to feel different. From there, we'll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can build stronger connections and feel more supported in your life. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.comStrawberry.me — Career coaching that helps you gain clarity, build a strategic plan, and take confident steps toward the career you want with expert support. Get 50% off your first coaching session at strawberry.me/LHS.

Premarital counseling isn't a “just in case” thing. It's one of the smartest ways to protect a happy relationship before real life stress hits. These premarital tips can prevent years of communication problems and quiet resentment later. Want a stronger marriage? Start building emotional intimacy before you're in crisis mode. Most couples don't struggle because they stop loving each other. They struggle because no one ever taught them the skills that help love last. In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, I'm talking with my colleague Jesse Stanley about what premarital counseling actually is, why it matters, and how learning relationship skills early can change the trajectory of a marriage. We explore some of the most important premarital counseling questions couples should ask before marriage, including how to talk about money, conflict, expectations, emotional intimacy, and the family patterns each person brings into the relationship. If you've ever wondered what premarital counseling is, or whether premarital and marital counseling can help couples build a stronger foundation before problems begin, this conversation will give you a very real and practical perspective. Jesse Stanley is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a military background who creates a judgment-free environment where growth and healing flourish. He helps individuals and couples build deeper, more satisfying relationships, navigate major life transitions, recover from heartbreak, manage stress, and create happier, more fulfilling lives. Episode Breakdown 00:00 Why Love Isn't Enough for a Healthy Marriage 03:24 How Premarital Counseling Strengthens Relationships 10:44 What Good Premarital Counseling Should Cover 17:32 The Issues Couples Overlook Until It's Too Late 20:18 How to Talk About Hard Things Without Blowing Up 31:40 What to Expect From the Premarital Counseling Process 47:43 Why Premarital Counseling Is Preventative Care for Marriage If this conversation resonated with you and your partner, I'd love to help you take the next step. At Growing Self, you can answer three quick questions and book your free consultation with the right expert for your relationship. It's private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes. Many couples start here when they want stronger communication, deeper emotional connection, and a healthier foundation for their future together. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com Strawberry.me — Career coaching that helps you gain clarity, build a strategic plan, and take confident steps toward the career you want with expert support. Get 50% off your first coaching session at strawberry.me/LHS.

Maybe you've had this thought late at night, or in the middle of yet another difficult conversation: How do you know when to call it quits in a relationship? Not because you hate your partner. Not because everything is terrible. But because something about the relationship feels unsustainable, and you're wondering whether this is a rough season you can grow through… or a sign that the relationship may actually be over. In this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we're talking about one of the most painful and confusing crossroads people face in love. How do you tell the difference between relationship struggles that can lead to growth and the kinds of patterns that signal deeper relationship red flags? When is it worth trying to repair things, and when might it be healthier to move on? We'll also talk about why many couples assume change isn't possible before they've actually tried the right kind of help, what real relationship growth can look like, and how practical realities like finances, children, or co-parenting concerns can make the decision to leave feel even more complicated. If you've ever caught yourself wondering, “Should I stay and try to work on this… or should I break up?”, this conversation will help you look at your situation with more clarity and compassion. Episode Breakdown: 00:01 When to Call It Quits in a Relationship 09:02 The “Mixed Bag” Relationship 15:53 Growth Opportunity or Deal Breaker 27:37 Can Couples Counseling Save a Relationship? 46:04 Relationship Red Flags 57:37 Leaving a Relationship and Feeling Guilty 01:04:20 Finances, Children, and Feeling Stuck If this episode stirred up questions about your own relationship and you'd like thoughtful support while you sort through them, I'd love to offer you something that can really help. You can book a free consultation with me or a member of my team at Growing Self. Think of it as a private, supportive space where you can talk about what's really been going on in your relationship and what you hope will feel different moving forward. Answer three quick questions so we can help match you with the right counselor or coach for you. Thousands of people have transformed themselves, their relationships, and their lives through this work. You can too. It's private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes to get started. Let's find the right support for you.

If you're avoiding boundaries because you don't want to seem selfish, this will flip the script. Healthy boundaries can create more emotional intimacy, reduce unhealthy feelings, and stop the burnout and stress spiral. So many kind, caring people get stuck in a pattern of saying yes when they really mean no. They're not weak, and they're not doing anything “wrong.” They're often afraid of conflict, afraid of disappointing someone, or afraid of losing a relationship. And that fear can pull you into the people pleasing cycle: over-giving, exhaustion, resentment, and eventually that sharp “No” that comes out of nowhere and leaves everyone feeling hurt. In this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we're talking about how to set boundaries in a way that protects your relationships instead of damaging them. You'll learn what healthy boundaries in relationships actually look like, why boundaries are not about controlling anyone else's behavior, and how to set a boundary with clarity and kindness — even when someone else has big feelings about it. If you've been wondering how to stop people pleasing, or you're trying to figure out what are healthy boundaries in a relationship, this is a practical place to start. As you listen, notice where you've been making your needs smaller to keep the peace, and what might change if your boundaries became an act of love for both of you. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Boundaries Protect Relationships 04:26 Why Setting Boundaries Feels So Hard 06:45 The People-Pleasing Cycle 11:19 The Paradox: Boundaries Create Intimacy 15:53 Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive Communication 18:10 The Real Secret to Healthy Boundaries 27:36 Requests vs Boundaries 36:40 How to Start Practicing Boundaries 39:06 The 3-Step Boundary Process 45:46 What Their Reaction Tells You About The Relationship 50:36 Resources and Next Steps If this episode is hitting close to home, maybe you're recognizing people pleasing patterns, or noticing how hard it's been to set boundaries in a relationship, I want to offer you something that can make this easier. You can book your free consultation with Growing Self as a kind of “first step” for yourself. It's private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes. You'll answer three quick questions so we can help you find the right support and match you with the best counselor or coach for what you're working on. If you're practicing setting healthy boundaries in relationships, you don't have to do it alone. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors of Love, Happiness, and Success: Shopify: The all-in-one platform to build and grow your online business. Explore exclusive listener discounts at shopify.com/lhs Working Genius founder Patrick Lencioni is on a mission to create self understanding and connection by helping people understand their genius and that of others. Listen to our conversation, then discover your strengths and get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com Strawberry.me — Career coaching that helps you gain clarity, build a strategic plan, and take confident steps toward the career you want with expert support. Get 50% off your first coaching session at strawberry.me/LHS

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “Why can't I just relax in this relationship?” Nothing dramatic has happened. There hasn't been an affair. No obvious betrayal. And yet you feel on edge. You double-check. You scan for signs. You wonder if something is wrong, even when everything seems fine. Trust issues in relationships do not always start with a fresh wound. Sometimes they are rooted in past hurt. Sometimes they grow out of relational trauma you thought you had already worked through. And sometimes they show up as relationship anxiety that refuses to settle down, even with a good partner. In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, we're talking about what trust issues actually are and what they are not. We'll unpack why hypervigilance, reassurance-seeking, and worst-case thinking can quietly strain a healthy relationship, and why that reaction makes sense when you understand what your nervous system has been through. We'll also explore the difference between a real red flag and a trauma trigger, how attachment patterns shape your sense of safety, and what it truly takes to deal with trust issues in a way that builds secure connection instead of pushing love away. As you listen, gently ask yourself: Is this fear about what's happening right now, or about something that happened before? You deserve to feel secure, confident, and emotionally safe in your relationships. Learning how to deal with trust issues is not about becoming less sensitive. It is about becoming more grounded and more secure in yourself. Episode Breakdown 00:00 Why trust issues in relationships show up even when nothing is wrong 06:59 Signs of trust issues and relationship anxiety 09:18 How trust issues strain healthy relationships 21:27 Relational trauma and the roots of trust issues 33:14 Attachment styles and trust patterns 42:46 How anxiety spirals, the cereal box example 47:23 Therapy for trust issues, CBT, and couples counseling 56:36 Building secure trust from the inside out If this conversation is stirring something up for you, that makes sense. Working through trust issues and relationship anxiety takes insight, practice, and sometimes support. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It's a private, secure space where you can tell us what's really been happening in your relationship, what's feeling hard, and what you wish felt different. We'll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can feel more grounded, more understood, and more confident in your ability to build secure, healthy love. You don't have to keep managing trust issues on your own.

If you're living in constant stress, you might be shrinking the part of your brain that helps you think clearly. In this episode, Dr. Majid Fotuhi breaks down burnout, brain fog, and why “everything feels hard.” You'll get a practical recovery plan built around sleep, movement, stress regulation, and neuroplasticity. And how to stop rumination before it rewires your brain in the wrong direction. If you've been feeling overwhelmed, scattered, forgetful, or like you're constantly behind, this conversation may shift how you understand stress and burnout. Chronic stress and burnout don't just affect your mood,  they impact brain health, memory, attention, and decision-making. When your brain isn't functioning well, everything feels heavier than it needs to. We talk about brain fog causes, how poor sleep disrupts your brain's nightly cleaning system, and why elevated cortisol over time can shrink the hippocampus. We also explore ADHD symptoms and attention struggles through a new lens. Are you dealing with true ADHD, or the effects of sleep deprivation, digital overload, and chronic stress? You'll hear practical ADHD tips, how to get rid of brain fog, and simple ways to build real stress resilience. This episode also dives into rumination and negative neuroplasticity, how repetitive negative thoughts strengthen neural pathways that reinforce burnout. The good news? The brain is malleable. You can interrupt those patterns and strengthen new ones. As you listen, I'd love for you to consider: What if feeling better isn't just about changing your thoughts — but about strengthening your brain? And what small shift this week could begin healing stress and burnout at the root? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Stress and Burnout: Why Everything Feels Hard 04:00 Brain Fog Causes and Early Signs of Burnout 09:04 Sleep and Brain Health 21:23 ADHD Symptoms or Chronic Stress? 30:23 Rumination and Negative Neuroplasticity 42:06 Creating Space to Reduce Stress 52:26 The Five Pillars of Brain Health If you're recognizing yourself in this conversation — feeling foggy, overwhelmed, or stuck in stress loops — I'd love to invite you to schedule a free consultation with me or someone on my team. Think of it as a reset conversation. A private, secure space where you can share what's been weighing on you and what you want to feel different. You'll answer three quick questions so we can match you with the right counselor or coach. It only takes a couple of minutes to book a consultation, and it's my way of helping you take a supported first step toward clearer thinking, stronger stress resilience, and better brain health. Let's find the right support for you. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

How do you improve emotional intelligence when you were never really taught what to do with your feelings in the first place? Emotional intelligence shapes your happiness, your relationships, your leadership, and your ability to manage stress — yet most people were never shown how to build emotional intelligence skills in a practical way. In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, we're talking about exactly how to improve emotional intelligence step by step, and how to develop emotional intelligence skills that create real change. Not as a personality trait you either have or don't, but as a set of learnable skills that directly impact emotional regulation, self-awareness, career success, and the quality of your relationships. You'll learn why emotional intelligence often matters more than technical expertise at work. In fact, emotional intelligence at work is one of the strongest predictors of long-term career success and leadership effectiveness. We'll explore how strengthening emotional vocabulary changes the way you think and feel, why managing your internal reactions is the foundation for stronger communication, and how emotional intelligence supports resilience under stress. Together, we'll walk through the four core components of emotional intelligence — self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management — and what it actually looks like to strengthen each one in real life. If you've ever felt reactive, shut down, emotionally overwhelmed, or unsure how to handle difficult conversations, this episode will help you slow down, get clearer, and show up differently. Emotional intelligence isn't about being more emotional. It's about understanding your emotions, regulating them wisely, and creating emotional safety in the relationships that matter most. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Emotional Intelligence Matters 06:58 Emotional Intelligence and Career Success 11:34 The Four Components of Emotional Intelligence 13:43 Self-Awareness: Naming Emotions and Understanding Triggers 27:38 Tools to Improve Emotional Intelligence (Mindfulness, CBT, Feeling Wheel) 32:15 Emotional Regulation and Self-Management 38:53 Social Awareness and Relationship Management 46:07 Relationship Management: Emotional Safety, Trust, and Communication That Works 50:42 How Emotional Intelligence Builds Long-Term Success If you're listening and thinking, “I want these emotional intelligence skills, but I'd love support while I practice them,” I have something for you. Our Clarity & Confidence Coaching Program is a low-cost coaching service designed to help you build self-awareness, strengthen emotional regulation, and show up with more clarity and confidence in your relationships and career. Thousands of people have transformed themselves, their relationships, or their careers through Growing Self. You can too. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.Working Genius founder Patrick Lencioni is on a mission to create self understanding and connection by helping people understand their genius and that of others. Listen to our conversation, then discover your strengths and get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

If you love your partner but your sexual intimacy is gone… you're not hopeless. You're normal. Let's talk about sex, intimacy, and the real skills that rebuild sexual connection in long-term love. Because emotional intimacy doesn't automatically create desire,  and you can deepen intimacy on purpose. If you've ever wondered, “Why don't I want sex anymore?” or felt the quiet ache of a lack of intimacy in marriage, you're not alone. Many couples care deeply about each other. They function well as teammates. And yet when it comes to intimacy in marriage, something feels distant or flat. Maybe you're in a marriage without intimacy and wondering how to improve sex life without forcing it. Maybe you're trying to figure out how to increase sexual desire, especially if your drive has faded. Or maybe you're the partner feeling rejected and unsure how to reconnect. The truth is that improving intimacy in marriage isn't about waiting for spontaneous chemistry to return. Sexual desire shifts in long-term relationships. Stress, exhaustion, resentment, hormonal changes, and the mental load of adult life all impact connection. When there is no intimacy in marriage, it often reflects burnout and disconnection,  not incompatibility. In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Nicole McNichols, an internationally renowned human sexuality professor, author, and speaker whose course The Diversity of Human Sexuality is the most popular in the history of the University of Washington, enrolling over 4,000 students annually. Together, we unpack how to improve sexual intimacy using research-backed tools. We talk about how pleasure fuels desire, how to increase sexual desire in female partners and anyone experiencing low drive, and why improving intimacy in marriage requires intention, not magic. You'll learn how to improve sex life through small shifts in novelty, playfulness, and communication that make connection feel natural again. We also address resentment. If emotional safety has eroded over time, rebuilding sexual intimacy may need to start with repairing the friendship first. When couples strengthen communication and physical intimacy together, relationships often begin to feel alive again. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Sexual Intimacy Fades in Long-Term Relationships 03:34 How to Improve Sexual Intimacy With a Growth Mindset 08:52 Emotional Intimacy vs. Sexual Desire in Marriage 11:14 How Pleasure Increases Sexual Desire 18:17 How to Increase Sexual Desire (Responsive Desire Explained) 20:20 How to Improve Sex Life by Planning Intimacy 31:08 Rebuilding Attraction and Intimacy in Marriage 43:06 When Lack of Intimacy in Marriage Is About Resentment Rebuilding sexual connection can feel vulnerable. And sometimes the most powerful next step isn't trying harder,  it's getting support. If you'd like help improving intimacy in marriage or learning how to increase sexual desire in ways that feel safe and sustainable, you can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It's a private, secure space where you can share what's been happening and what you hope will feel different. You'll answer three quick questions so we can match you with the right expert. It only takes a couple of minutes, and it's a meaningful first step toward feeling closer, more connected, and more confident in your relationship. Let's find the right support for you. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

If you're the one everyone relies on, your boundaries might be the reason you're burning out. This is for the high achiever who's carrying too much, feeling stressed, and quietly running on empty. And yes—this includes how to set boundaries at work without guilt or conflict. Somewhere along the way, many capable people start to confuse their value with their availability. You become the reliable one. The strong one. The person who can handle it. And before you know it, you're overextended and quietly exhausted from overfunctioning. If you've been wondering how to set boundaries without guilt, how to stop overfunctioning, or how people pleasing and boundaries get tangled together, this conversation will give you clarity and practical direction. I'm joined by Ginny Priem, keynote speaker, Master Certified Professional Life Coach, bestselling author, and host of the Unsubscribe Podcast. We talk about the signs of stress in the body, trusting your intuition, boundary pushback, and what to do when boundary busters resist your growth. You'll learn how to set boundaries at work without conflict, how to communicate limits calmly, and why boundaries aren't about controlling others, they're about deciding what you're willing to participate in. As you listen, consider: Where have you equated your worth with how much you can carry? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 How High Achievers Start Overfunctioning 07:22 Signs of Stress in the Body 14:13 Trusting Your Intuition When Something Feels Off 23:51 How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt 29:45 The Unsubscribe Framework: Block, Mute, Swap, Manage 33:48 Setting Boundaries at Work Without Conflict 45:45 Final Reflections on Boundaries and Burnout If you're ready to move from insight into action, I'd love to invite you to schedule a consultation with someone on my team at Growing Self. You can answer three quick questions so we can help you schedule a free consultation with the right expert for where you are right now. It's private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes. Let's find the right support for you. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs  to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

How to love yourself after a breakup can feel impossible when your self-esteem is shattered and your ex still lives rent-free in your nervous system. When a relationship ends, especially a painful or toxic one, it doesn't just break your heart — it can break your trust in yourself. You may find yourself obsessing over your ex, checking their social media even though it hurts, replaying conversations, or wondering what was wrong with you. Low self-esteem after a breakup often isn't just about rejection. It's about the shame of feeling like you abandoned your own boundaries trying to keep someone who couldn't love you back. In this episode, we're talking about what it really takes to repair your self-esteem and rebuild your sense of personal power. I'll walk you through why heartbreak recovery can feel like withdrawal from an addiction, how attachment loss hijacks your brain, and why the most painful thought is often not “They left,” but “Why did I let this happen?” If you've been trying to figure out how to love yourself after a breakup while still feeling pulled toward someone who wasn't good for you, this episode will help you understand what's happening and how to shift it. We'll explore five concrete steps to repair your self-esteem: recognizing self-betrayal patterns, understanding the addictive pull of contact and validation, seeking support instead of isolating, recommitting to loving yourself through behavior, and creating a plan for the moments when you're tempted to go backward. Real self-esteem is earned through action: every boundary you set, every time you resist checking their profile, every moment you choose dignity over desperation. That's how you repair your self-esteem. That's how you rebuild confidence. That's how you love yourself after a breakup in a way that lasts. As you listen, you might realize you've been trying to heal through them. What actually helps is rebuilding your relationship with yourself. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Self-Esteem Collapses After a Breakup 07:04 Low Self-Esteem After Breakup: Rejection and Shame 21:10 Breakup Recovery and the Addiction to Your Ex 34:49 Five Steps to Repair Your Self-Esteem 51:20 How to Stop Obsessing Over Your Ex and Rebuild Confidence If this episode is stirring something up for you, I want to offer you something personal. You can schedule a free consultation with me or someone on my team. Think of it as a steady first step toward rebuilding yourself. You'll answer three quick questions so we can help you find the right expert for your unique situation. It's private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes. Thousands of people have transformed themselves and their relationships through Growing Self. Let's find the right support for you — and help you repair your self-esteem in a way that feels grounded, strong, and sustainable. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors of Love, Happiness, and Success:   Shopify: The all-in-one platform to build and grow your online business. Explore exclusive listener discounts at shopify.com/lhs Working Genius founder Patrick Lencioni is on a mission to create self understanding and connection by helping people understand their genius and that of others. Listen to our conversation, then discover your strengths and get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

If you're trying to improve marriage and it feels like you're doing it alone, this is for you. When your spouse is checked out and every “we need to talk” goes nowhere, it's exhausting. Maybe you've asked for date nights. You've suggested couples therapy. You've tried to discuss communication problems and you're met with “I don't know,” “No,” or silence. In this episode, we're talking about why that happens… and what actually helps. Feeling lonely in your marriage can make you question everything. You may be wondering what to do when you're the only one trying in a relationship, or whether your partner is emotionally checked out for good. It's easy to assume that if your spouse refuses couples counseling, there's nothing left to work with. But relationships are systems. When one part changes, the system shifts. I'm joined by Dr. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D., author, pastoral counselor, life coach, and creator of the Save the Marriage program. With more than 30 years of experience helping couples in crisis, Lee specializes in situations where one partner is resistant or disengaged. Together, we unpack the pursue-withdraw cycle, why chasing your partner often backfires, and how small, invitational shifts can begin rebuilding connection. We also talk about the myth that “it takes two to tango,” the three levels of connection in marriage, and how to approach a partner who seems emotionally unavailable without escalating pressure. And we explore the harder question: when do you stop trying? How do you know you've done what you're willing to do? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 What to Do When You're the Only One Trying in a Relationship 03:10 Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time 09:46 How One Person Can Change a Struggling Marriage 13:12 The Three Levels of Connection in Marriage 21:48 The Pursue-Withdraw Cycle and How to Stop Chasing Your Partner 33:09 How to Rebuild Hope in a Failing Relationship 42:19 Practical Steps to Reconnect With an Emotionally Checked-Out Partner 50:02 When to Stop Trying in a Marriage 55:54 Resources for Couples in Marriage Crisis If you've been carrying that heavy feeling of being the only one fighting for your marriage, you don't have to figure this out alone. Clarity doesn't come from another argument. It comes from one grounded conversation with someone who understands relationship systems and can help you sort through what's possible and what your next step needs to be. If that would feel helpful, I'd love to invite you to schedule a free consultation with me or someone on my team at Growing Self. You'll answer three quick questions so we can help you find the right support for you. It's private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes. Let's find the right support for you—whether that means couples counseling, discernment work, or individual coaching to help you stop chasing and start feeling steady again. You deserve clarity. You deserve support. And you deserve to feel less alone in your marriage. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs  to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

When communication in a relationship starts to feel harder than it used to, it's easy to wonder whether something is wrong, with your partner, or with the relationship itself. Many couples reach this point during the power struggle stage in relationships, when differences feel sharper, conflict escalates more quickly, and emotional safety can start to feel shaky. In today's conversation, I'm joined by Thais Gibson, and we're talking about why relationship power struggles are not a sign of failure, but a normal part of the stages of love. We explore what's really happening beneath the surface when couples feel stuck in recurring conflict, including how the anxious avoidant relationship cycle can quietly take over communication and leave both partners feeling misunderstood or disconnected. Together, we unpack the myth that “good relationships should feel easy,” and talk honestly about normal relationship conflict, what's expected, what's workable, and what actually helps couples move forward. Thais shares practical frameworks for repairing after conflict, communicating needs more clearly, and rebuilding emotional safety in relationships, especially when old triggers and attachment patterns are getting activated. As you listen, I invite you to notice where you and your partner might be caught in the cycle, and what could shift if conflict became a doorway to understanding, growth, and repair instead of something to fear or avoid. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why the Myth That “Good Relationships Should Be Easy” Creates Conflict 03:12 The Stages of Love and How Relationships Change Over Time 05:33 The Power Struggle Stage in Relationships Explained 10:06 Why Triggers and Polarity Drive Relationship Power Struggles 16:21 The Anxious–Avoidant Relationship Cycle 17:40 Conflict and Repair Skills That Build Trust 29:36 Building Emotional Safety During Relationship Conflict 35:22 Communication Habits That Help Couples Move Forward If this conversation helped you recognize patterns in your relationship, especially around conflict, emotional safety, or feeling stuck in the power struggle stage, I want you to know you don't have to navigate this alone. As a gift to you, you're warmly invited to schedule a free consultation with me or a trusted member of my team at Growing Self. This is a private, secure conversation where you can share what's really been happening in your relationship and what you're hoping could feel different. You'll answer three quick questions so we can thoughtfully match you with the right counselor or coach, someone who understands the kinds of dynamics Thais and I talked about today and can help you move toward clarity, connection, and repair. It only takes a couple of minutes, and it's simply an opportunity to explore what support might look like for you. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs  to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com 

There is a particular kind of frustration that comes from knowing yourself well enough to recognize a pattern, and still feeling unable to stop it. You understand what you are doing. You may even understand why. And yet the behavior keeps showing up anyway. In this conversation, I'm sitting down with licensed marriage and family therapist and mental health educator Kati Morton to talk about why habits that no longer serve us can be so hard to change. Not because we lack insight or discipline, but because many of these patterns began as emotional coping habits. At one point, they helped us feel safer, more connected, or more in control. Over time, they quietly turned into ways we stay stuck. We explore how early relationship experiences shape perfectionism and control patterns, why self-sabotaging behaviors make sense once you understand the nervous system's role in survival, and how shame keeps habits locked in place rather than motivating change. Kati shares why willpower is rarely the solution, and what compassionate habit change actually looks like when you stop trying to override yourself and start listening instead. We also talk about what happens when these patterns show up inside relationships, how to raise concerns without controlling or shaming your partner, and why understanding the function of a habit matters far more than trying to eliminate it. This episode is about breaking habits that keep you stuck by learning how to meet the underlying need in a healthier, more sustainable way. As you listen, I invite you to reflect on this question: What has this behavior been doing for me, and what might become possible if I approached myself with more curiosity and less judgment? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why willpower is not enough to change habits 03:49 How early relationship blueprints shape behavior 08:51 Perfectionism, people pleasing, and self-abandonment 12:25 Conditional love and control patterns 18:06 Nervous system regulation and survival responses 24:04 Emotional coping habits outside of relationships 31:03 Why shame reinforces habits 37:54 Addressing the root instead of cutting off symptoms 44:27 Supporting change in relationships without control 50:53 More from Kati Morton If this episode brought clarity to patterns you have been struggling with, and you would like support as you work toward change that actually lasts, I want to extend a personal invitation. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. This is a private, secure space where you will answer three quick questions so we can help match you with the right counselor or coach for what you are navigating right now. Think of it as a thoughtful starting place, not a commitment. Just support, perspective, and help finding the right next step. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs  to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

If you've been dating for a while and you're starting to feel tired, discouraged, or quietly wondering why this seems so much harder than it should be, you're not imagining things. Modern dating can wear people down, the endless swiping, first dates that go nowhere, the emotional energy it takes just to stay open and hopeful. Many of the people I work with start to doubt themselves, not because anything is wrong with them, but because the process itself is exhausting. In this episode, I'm joined by Tim Molnar, a dating coach and former sociology professor, to talk about dating burnout recovery and how to approach dating with more clarity, intention, and emotional steadiness. Instead of pushing harder or checking out completely, we explore how to date more thoughtfully,  in ways that protect your mental health and help you stay connected to yourself along the way. We talk about why modern dating mental health struggles are so common, how swipe culture and endless choice can distort decision-making, and why so many good people end up feeling depleted rather than excited. Tim shares a research-backed, intentional dating strategy that helps you make better decisions sooner, reduce emotional drain, and focus your energy where it actually matters. If you've been trying to date without losing yourself — your values, your peace of mind, or your sense of hope — this episode offers a calmer, more grounded way forward. As you listen, you might reflect on this question: What would change if dating felt less like a test of your worth and more like a process you could approach with intention and self-trust? Episode Breakdown 00:00 Dating Burnout and Self-Doubt in Modern Dating 02:17 Tim's Journey to an Intentional Dating Strategy 07:24 Why Modern Dating Impacts Mental Health 12:52 The “Third Door” Approach to Dating Without Burning Out 16:05 Expanding Your Social World Without Losing Yourself 21:15 Why Dating Apps Create Burnout and Inertia 25:49 Real-World Connection, Rejection, and Emotional Risk 36:29 Making Better Dating Decisions Earlier 39:43 The 80/20 Approach to Dating Without Burnout 43:40 Chemistry vs. Compatibility in Healthy Relationships 46:22 What Research Says Predicts Long-Term Relationship Success 50:47 The Power of the Slow Burn in Dating If dating has started to feel heavy, confusing, or emotionally draining, and you'd like a thoughtful place to land as you sort through what you need next, I want you to know there's support available to you. I'd love to invite you to schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my Growing Self team. This is a private, secure space where you'll answer a few simple questions so we can understand what's been weighing on you and thoughtfully connect you with the right counselor or coach — someone who understands dating burnout, relationship decision-making, and how to help you stay open to love without losing yourself. You don't need to have everything figured out before you begin. This is simply an opportunity to feel understood, supported, and less alone as you find a calmer, more intentional way forward. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs  to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

If therapy feels like talking in circles, you're not un-helpable. Your therapy might be the wrong kind of help. In today's episode we're talking about the big fat elephant in the therapy room: The disconnect between what therapists actually do, and what people are expecting to get out of it. Listen to get clarity about what therapy is actually designed to do, and more importantly what therapy is not—and how to choose the right support. The truth is that evidence based psychotherapy can be a literal life-saver. If you're dealing with mental health issues, getting connected with a good, competent therapist can make all the difference between suffering, struggling, and having a nice life. Psychotherapy is valid, important, and effective for the treatment of mental health conditions.  But what about the 50% of people who show up for therapy who aren't dealing with a mental health condition? Who are there to learn, grow, and develop themselves so that we can get traction in our lives, and have support to get where we want to go?  Those people? So many of them walk away from therapy feeling frustrated, stuck, or even wondering if they're the problem. In this episode, I'm getting real about why therapy sometimes falls flat—and how you can reclaim your growth by understanding the actual purpose and process of therapy vs coaching. In this episode, you'll learn: Why traditional therapy sometimes feels like “talking in circles” (and why it's not your fault) What therapists are really trained for (hint: it isn't always growth or day-to-day challenges) The major differences between therapy, mental health therapy, relationship therapy, and coaching—and how to know which one you need Red flags and disconnects to listen for during your first session How to interview a psychologist or counselor so you actually get results (not just insight) When coaching is more effective than therapy for life, relationship, and career issues What to know about insurance and why it matters if you're not getting “treatment” Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: On this show you'll hear me talk about my coach training program for therapists, and the opportunity to work with one of them at a deeply discounted rate ($49!). Learn more and see if this is right for you. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Shopify: The all-in-one platform to build and grow your online business. Explore exclusive listener discounts at shopify.com/lhsWorking Genius founder Patrick Lencioni is on a mission to create self understanding and connection by helping people understand their genius and that of others. Listen to our conversation, then discover your strengths and get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

There's a particular kind of emotional stuckness that's hard to explain until you've lived it — the constant thinking about someone, replaying conversations, scanning for meaning in small moments, and slowly realizing that your inner world has begun to revolve around another person. That's the experience we're talking about today. In this episode, psychologist Orly Miller joins me for a thoughtful conversation about limerence vs love, and why intense longing can sometimes cross a line into something that feels more consuming than connecting. We talk about what limerence actually is, how it differs from healthy romantic attachment, and why it can be so difficult to move out of once you're in it. For anyone quietly wondering how to stop limerence, this conversation offers clarity, language, and relief without judgment. As you listen, I invite you to notice how uncertainty, hope, and emotional focus may be shaping your experience of love,  and what might shift if more of that energy were returned to you, rather than staying fixed on someone else. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Loving Too Much: When Longing Becomes Painful 01:42 How Limerence Shows Up in Real Life 08:52 What Limerence Is (and What It Isn't) 11:00 Limerence vs Love: Why Healthy Love Moves Forward 17:55 The Three Ways Limerence Can Exist 20:47 Hope and Doubt: What Keeps Limerence Alive 22:34 When Limerence Becomes Unhealthy 33:06 Inside a Limerent Episode 42:52 Why Healing Isn't About the Other Person 44:54 Reclaiming Yourself and Moving Forward When patterns like these start to come into focus, it can bring relief, and also raise questions about what comes next. If this conversation stirred something for you and you'd like thoughtful support while you sort through it, I'd love to invite you to schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my Growing Self team. This is a private, secure space where you'll answer a few simple questions about what's been happening in your relationships and emotional life, and what you'd like to feel differently. From there, we'll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can move forward with clarity, self-trust, and care,  instead of staying stuck in patterns that no longer serve you. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs  to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

Struggling with a dead bedroom? Talking about sex can feel more vulnerable and more terrifying than almost any other conversation in relationships, but it's the key to bringing back the spark. In this episode, you'll learn how to talk about sex with your partner in ways that strengthen emotional intimacy, reignite sexual intimacy, deepen connection, and help couples communicate without shame, fear, or defensiveness. If you've ever wanted more closeness or desire in your relationship but felt frozen when it came time to talk about sex, you're not alone. For many couples, learning how to talk about sex with your partner feels risky—even when love is strong and the longing for connection is real. Fear of rejection, conflict, or hurting each other can keep these conversations stuck beneath the surface, quietly eroding intimacy over time. In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Tara, a Kinsey-certified sexologist and tenured professor of sexual and relational communication, to talk about how to communicate better about sex in ways that actually build safety, trust, and closeness. We explore why sexual conversations feel so charged, how cultural conditioning shapes desire and avoidance, and what helps couples rebuild trust sexually after long periods of distance, rejection, or disconnection. You'll hear practical guidance for starting these conversations gently, expanding what sexual intimacy can look like in long-term relationships, and taking responsibility for your own sexual self—without blame or shame. As you listen, I invite you to reflect on this question: What might become possible in your relationship if talking about sex felt safer, clearer, and more connecting than it does right now? Episode Breakdown 00:00 Why Talking About Sex Feels So Hard in Relationships 06:30 The Cost of Avoiding Conversations About Sex 15:00 How Sexual Communication Affects Intimacy and Connection 22:00 How to Talk About Sex Without Fear or Defensiveness 27:30 Understanding Your Sexual Self Before Communicating Needs 30:00 Redefining Sexual Intimacy Beyond Penetration 33:00 How to Ask for What You Want Sexually (Without Hurting Your Partner) 39:00 Navigating Sexual Differences in Long-Term Relationships 47:00 Rebuilding Sexual Trust and Attraction After Distance 52:40 The Core Skill: Knowing What You Want and Communicating It If this conversation stirred something for you—maybe a desire to feel closer, more confident, or more understood—you're invited to schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It's a private, secure space where you can share what's been happening in your relationship and what you're hoping will feel different. You'll answer three quick questions so we can thoughtfully match you with the right counselor or coach for your needs. It only takes a couple of minutes, and it's designed to help you find support that fits, whether you're working on communication, rebuilding sexual trust, or finding your way back to connection. Consider this a gentle next step and an open door, if and when you're ready. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month's sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs  to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

When love and relationships turn into constant conflict, the problem isn't that you're bad at communicating; it's that you're negotiating without a strategy. In this episode, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby sits down with negotiation expert Rebecca Zung to unpack how communication breaks down in narcissistic relationships and what it really takes to negotiate effectively in a marriage or partnership marked by high conflict. If you've ever found yourself explaining, accommodating, or giving more and more in the hope that things will finally calm down, only to feel resentful or powerless later, this conversation is for you. Rebecca shares why negotiation is not just a legal skill, but a relationship skill and a self-worth skill, especially when you're dealing with someone who is unpredictable, manipulative, or unwilling to meet you halfway. We talk about how to negotiate with a narcissist without losing yourself, including why mindset and preparation matter more than saying the “right” thing in the moment. Rebecca explains how common negotiation tactics like over-giving, people-pleasing, and JADE-ing (justify, argue, defend, explain) quietly undermine your position, and how clarity around your values, boundaries, and walk-away points can change the entire dynamic. You'll also hear practical strategies for staying grounded and strategic in high-conflict relationships, setting boundaries without escalating conflict, and using leverage in ways that protect your energy, your self-respect, and what matters most to you. As you listen, I invite you to reflect on this: Where have you been negotiating against yourself just to keep the peace? And what might shift if you approached these conversations with more clarity, intention, and respect for your own needs? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Negotiation Is a Relationship Skill 01:38 Rebecca Zung's Personal Path to Negotiation Expertise 09:31 The First Negotiation Is With Yourself 13:26 Why Mindset Determines Negotiation Outcomes 18:24 Over-Giving, People-Pleasing, and Resentment 28:18 The Five I's of Negotiation Leverage 43:30 Never JADE: How to Stop Giving Away Your Power 46:43 Setting Boundaries in High-Conflict Relationships If this episode resonated, and you're realizing that navigating a high-conflict relationship requires more than just trying harder or explaining yourself better, I want you to know that support is available. I'd love to invite you to schedule a free consultation with my team at Growing Self. This is a private, secure space where you can share what's been happening in your relationship and where you're feeling stuck or drained. You'll answer a few quick questions so we can thoughtfully connect you with the right counselor or coach, someone who understands high-conflict dynamics and can help you move forward with greater clarity, confidence, and self-trust. You don't have to keep negotiating without a strategy, and you don't have to do this alone. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Sel

Imagine realizing the person you trusted was intentionally deceiving you the entire time. This episode pulls back the curtain on how con artists operate and the psychological devastation left in their wake. You'll learn how deception works, why even smart, capable people fall victim, and the lasting emotions from stress and anger to deep regret. Most importantly, you'll learn how to increase your awareness, find the right professional support, and begin to move on safely. It's a heavy but important conversation that may help you recognize danger before it's too late. In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, I'm joined by Johnathan Walton, an Emmy-winning former TV reporter and current reality TV producer, who became a leading voice on the psychology of the con artist after surviving a deeply destabilizing betrayal himself. He's also the host, writer, and executive producer of the hit podcast Queen of the Con, and the author of Anatomy of a Con Artist. Together, we talk about how con artists manipulate emotions (not intelligence), why “I'm just trying to help” can be an early warning sign, and what happens to your brain and body when the relationship you thought was real turns out to be built on lies. We also get practical: the red flags that show up across scams, romance cons, and long-game manipulation, plus steps you can take to protect yourself—and what to do if you realize you've already been pulled in. A gentle note: This conversation includes explicit language and frank discussion of trauma responses, including intrusive revenge fantasies. Please take care of yourself while listening, and skip this one if you're not in the right headspace today. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Moment You Realize Someone Isn't Who They Say They Are 01:05 Con Artists, Betrayal Trauma, and Why This Conversation Matters 02:05 Trigger Warning and How To Listen Safely 07:04 Johnathan's Story: The “Irish Heiress” Con Artist Case 11:20 How a Con Artist Hooks You Through Emotional Manipulation 30:33 The Red Flags of a Con Artist and How Patterns Form 41:27 The Trauma Aftermath: Shame, Rage, and Losing Trust in Yourself 46:38 Protecting Yourself After a Con Artist Betrayal 52:35 Dr. Lisa's Guidance on Betrayal Trauma Support If you're listening and realizing this episode connects to your own life, whether through a relationship, a financial loss, or the unsettling sense that something once trusted wasn't real, I want you to have support, not just information. As a gift, I'd like to invite you to schedule a free consultation with my team at Growing Self. You'll answer three quick questions, and we'll help you book a private, secure consultation with the right counselor or coach for what you're navigating right now. This is a thoughtful, low-pressure way to get clarity, feel supported, and take a steady next step forward. You don't have to navigate this alone. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

What do you do when you're blindsided by unexpected and total life changes? I'm talking about the kind that shatter your sense of identity, happiness, and success all at once. How do you manage those overwhelming emotions and find a direction again? In this episode, you'll learn just that: how to grow and heal when everything falls apart, find direction when you're feeling trapped, and rebuild your sense of well-being for a new version of love, happiness, and success. I'm joined by Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist, creator of the podcast A Slight Change of Plans, and the first Behavioral Science Advisor to the United Nations. Maya brings both personal experience and research-backed insight to the question so many people ask during major life transitions: Why does this feel so exhausting, disorienting, and scary — and how do I move forward without losing myself? Together, we talk about why life changes often feel like a threat to your identity, why uncertainty can drain your energy, and why there's no single “right” way to grieve after major life events. Maya shares gentle, practical ways to begin healing that don't require pushing yourself to be positive, rushing the process, or overhauling your life when you're already tired. As you listen, I'd invite you to reflect on this: When so much has changed at once, what parts of you are still here? And what might become possible if this chapter isn't the end of your story, but the beginning of something different? Episode Breakdown 00:00 When Life Falls Apart 01:23 Why Total Life Changes Feel So Destabilizing 01:55 Maya's Story: Losing Big Dreams During Major Life Changes 07:10 How Life Transitions Threaten Identity 07:44 Finding Your “Why” After Everything Changes 11:17 There's No One Right Way To Grieve Life Events 15:51 Why Uncertainty Is So Exhausting During Life Changes 22:33 A Self-Affirmation Tool For Identity After Total Life Changes 28:20 Moral Elevation: Finding Hope During Difficult Life Transitions 37:14 Why Community Helps You Heal After Major Life Events 42:35 Shared Psychology: Different Life Changes, Same Emotional Truths 45:40 Share This Episode With Someone Navigating Change If you're living through total life changes right now and could use steady, thoughtful support as you find your footing again, I want to offer you something. I've created a simple way for you to schedule a free consultation that's designed to truly meet you where you are. By answering three quick questions, you'll be personally matched with the counselor or coach who's best suited for what you're navigating right now. This is a private, secure process, it only takes a couple of minutes, and it's my way of making sure you don't have to figure all of this out on your own. If this episode helped you put language to what you've been carrying, consider this an open door. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

If you want to feel happier in your relationships, understanding Enneagram types changes everything. This growth-focused conversation dives into love, happiness, and emotional intimacy through the lens of personality. You'll learn why different Enneagram personality types experience emotions and relationships differently and how couples can grow and heal by improving communication, mindset, and self-awareness through understanding each other's Enneagram type. In this episode, I'm sharing a meaningful and wide-ranging conversation with Ian Morgan Cron, a bestselling author, psychotherapist, Enneagram teacher, and host of the Typology podcast. Together, we explore how Enneagram types shape relationship dynamics, why misunderstandings happen even in loving partnerships, and how learning each other's emotional wiring can lead to deeper connection instead of ongoing frustration. We talk about why love and attachment can feel so powerful, why it's often harder than expected to let go of unhealthy relationships, and how personality patterns influence conflict, empathy, and emotional pacing. We also dig into Enneagram and relationships, including how different Enneagram types process feelings, respond to stress, and experience intimacy in very different ways. I share personal insights about discovering my own Enneagram 7 tendencies and how that awareness changed the way I understand closeness, independence, and emotional connection in my own relationships. As you listen, I invite you to notice where you may be assuming your partner experiences the world the same way you do. Understanding Enneagram personality types isn't about labeling or fixing yourself or your partner. It's about building compassion, improving communication, and creating relationships where both people feel understood and emotionally safe. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Relationship Mistake That Affects All Enneagram Types 03:55 Dr. Lisa's Enneagram Shift: From Type 3 to Enneagram 7 10:15 Enneagram Testing and Why Many People Mistype 15:54 Enneagram 7 in Relationships: Emotional Pacing and Empathy 23:43 Is Love Addictive? Attachment and Codependency in Relationships 34:50 Enneagram Types and Relationships: Using Differences to Grow 39:13 Compatibility vs. Companionability in Enneagram Relationships 52:05 A Relationship Exercise to Understand Your Enneagram Dynamic If this episode helped you see your relationship patterns more clearly, or helped you understand why certain dynamics keep repeating, I'd love to offer you a thoughtful next step. You're invited to schedule a free consultation designed to help you find the right kind of support for where you are right now. By answering three quick questions, we'll thoughtfully match you with a counselor or coach who understands relationships, personality, and the kind of growth you're working toward. This is a private, secure experience and a genuine gift of support, and it only takes a couple of minutes to get started. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

“How to be more confident” is one of the most common things people tell me they want, and also one of the most misunderstood. If you've ever thought, “I'll finally feel confident once I calm my anxiety, stop second-guessing myself, or stop worrying about what other people think,” this conversation offers a very different starting point. In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, I'm joined by Dr. Aziz Gazipura to talk about confidence as something deeper than appearances or bravado. I'm revisiting this episode on why confidence is really about your relationship with yourself, how social anxiety and people-pleasing quietly erode self-trust, and why trying to look confident often leaves people feeling more anxious and disconnected. We also talk about the inner critic as a misguided safety system, how avoidance keeps anxiety alive, and why confidence grows through practice, self-compassion, and supported risk-taking rather than positive thinking alone. If you struggle with social anxiety, harsh self-talk, or the habit of saying yes when you mean no, this conversation offers a steadier, more realistic way forward. As you listen, I'd invite you to reflect on this: Where in your life have you been trying to feel confident without being on your own side? And what might shift if confidence started with how you treat yourself when things feel uncomfortable or imperfect? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 What confidence really means (and why it's misunderstood) 01:48 Confidence as your relationship with yourself 07:32 From social anxiety and people-pleasing to real confidence 12:45 The inner critic and the “safety police” 16:51 Social anxiety vs. low confidence (and why avoidance makes it worse) 22:56 How confidence is built through practice and exposure 31:11 People-pleasing and “niceness” as anxiety patterns 38:21 Boundaries, authenticity, and healthy relationships 45:03 Projected dislike and changing self-talk 50:28 Final takeaways + where to find Dr. Aziz If this episode resonates and you'd like support building real confidence (the kind rooted in self-trust, authenticity, and emotional safety), I'd love to invite you to schedule a free consultation. This is a private, secure space where you can share what's been weighing on you and what you want to feel differently. You'll answer three quick questions so we can help match you with the right counselor or coach on my team. Many people experience this as a meaningful first step toward feeling more grounded, more supported, and more confident in their lives. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Have you been feeling ready to start a new chapter in life, but also unsure how to begin? Not because everything is falling apart, but because something inside you knows it's time for more. In this classic episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm joined by my colleague Dr. Lisa Severy to talk about how rewriting your story can open the door to real, lasting change—in your career, your relationships, and the way you see yourself. Dr. Lisa specializes in narrative career counseling, a powerful approach that helps people understand the deeper life themes shaping their choices. We talk about why traditional career advice often misses the mark, how work and identity are deeply connected, and what it really takes to move forward when you feel stuck, restless, or quietly dissatisfied—even if your life looks “fine” from the outside. This conversation is for you if you're sensing that a new beginning is calling, but you don't want to jump into another situation that looks different yet feels the same. Together, we explore how insight comes before action, why patterns tend to repeat when the internal story doesn't change, and how giving yourself permission to rewrite old narratives can be one of the most meaningful decisions you ever make. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 How to start a new chapter in life by rewriting your story 02:27 Meet Dr. Lisa Severy and the narrative approach to career change 06:18 Why traditional career counseling doesn't work for real life change 11:14 Life themes, meaning, and choosing work that fits who you are 19:30 The emotional cost of staying comfortable but unfulfilled at work 23:30 What to do when you feel stuck and overwhelmed by options 29:24 Giving yourself permission to change and release old “shoulds” 35:27 The Great Resignation and reclaiming agency in your career 41:57 Why career patterns repeat when the internal story doesn't change 47:54 A powerful exercise to clarify what's missing in your next chapter 52:58 Final reflections and how to get support for your next chapter I want you to know that you don't have to figure your next chapter out on your own. One of the ways I support people at this point is by inviting them to schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my Growing Self team. It's a private, secure space where you can talk honestly about what's been feeling stuck, what's been weighing on you, and what you hope might feel different going forward. You'll answer just three quick questions, and we'll help match you with the right counselor or coach for where you are right now. I hope you'll see this as a small but meaningful gift to yourself as you begin shaping what comes next. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Is anger, regret or sadness still tying you to your past? In this episode, you'll learn how finding forgiveness helps you heal unhealthy emotions, create closure, and move on. You'll learn about the two types of forgiveness and how to shift your mindset so you can finally feel happier, freer, and more like yourself again. If happiness and well-being feel out of reach right now, I hope you dive into this one. Forgiveness often sounds simple, but it can feel deeply challenging when anger, regret, or unresolved pain linger. I'm revisiting this episode because these unhealthy feelings tend to hold on quietly, shaping how we feel long after the moment has passed. In this conversation, I talk about what forgiveness really is and what it is not, and how finding forgiveness can support healing and closure without excusing harm or abandoning your boundaries. We explore the difference between forgiving yourself and forgiving someone else, especially when there has been no apology, no repair, or no justice. You'll hear how to work with difficult emotions like sadness and resentment, how to move on when the other person may never change, and how forgiveness can support your growth, well-being, and peace of mind. If part of you feels like you should be over it by now, but something still feels unfinished, this episode offers a more compassionate way forward. Forgiveness is not about forgetting or minimizing what happened. It's about releasing what no longer serves you so you can heal and feel happier in your life today. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Finding Forgiveness and Emotional Healing 03:25 The Two Types of Forgiveness: Yourself and Others 05:52 How Anger, Regret, and Guilt Impact Happiness 07:56 Self-Forgiveness Through Compassion and Growth 15:00 Making Amends and Repairing Harm 21:59 How to Forgive Someone Who Isn't Sorry 24:19 Letting Go Without Excusing Harm 28:56 Forgiveness, Boundaries, and Emotional Safety 31:19 Choosing Forgiveness to Move On and Feel at Peace If this conversation about finding forgiveness stirred something tender for you, I want you to know you don't have to work through it alone. I'd love for you to schedule a free consultation with me or someone on my team at Growing Self. It's a private, secure space to share what you've been carrying and get matched with the right counselor or coach for where you are right now. You'll answer three quick questions, and we'll help you take a thoughtful next step toward healing and clarity. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Most people don't realize they're running on autopilot until life forces them to stop. Through the lens of ‘Memento Mori', this episode shows you how living for meaning can help you find direction, improve your overall well-being, and create a purpose-driven life. You'll learn how to use this mindset shift to support your self improvement, reduce your stress, and cultivate happiness right now. I'm joined by Karen Salmansohn, author and mindset coach, for a conversation about living for meaning and finding direction through the lens of Memento Mori. I'm revisiting this episode because its message feels especially relevant right now - how to reduce stress, stay grounded in your mindset, and create a purpose-driven life without giving up your ambition or drive. Rather than being morbid, the Memento Mori mindset offers clarity. It brings you back into the present moment and helps you make more intentional choices about who you are becoming and what truly matters. Together, we explore why traditional to-do lists often leave people feeling busy but unfulfilled, and how shifting toward values-based, identity-driven habits can support greater happiness and emotional well-being. This episode is an invitation to step out of autopilot, reconnect with what matters most, and begin living with more intention starting exactly where you are. As you listen, I invite you to reflect on this question: If your time is limited, what deserves more of your attention right now? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Welcome to Love, Happiness & Success 00:48 The “funeral question” and how it helps you live with meaning 01:19 Memento Mori and using mortality awareness to find direction 05:29 Karen's wake-up call and the origin of Your To Die For Life 09:13 “Everything that is not given is lost” and the meaning of legacy 14:22 Aristotle on happiness vs pleasure and building a purpose-driven life 21:08 The to-die list, core values, and identity-based habits 30:22 Karen's seven core values and intentional daily choices 38:28 Mortality marbles and a mindset shift that reduces stress 46:31 Dr. Lisa's 9/11 story and choosing a more intentional life If this gives you a desire for more meaning, more clarity, or a different relationship with stress, I want to offer you something supportive. You're invited to schedule a free consultation with me or a trusted member of my team. This is a private, secure space to talk about what's been weighing on you, what you want to feel differently, and what kind of support would truly help you move forward. You'll answer just a few quick questions so we can thoughtfully match you with the right counselor or coach and help you take the next step toward a more intentional, purpose-driven life. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

If you've been hearing more about psychedelic therapy and wondering whether it's a genuine breakthrough for healing—or just the latest mental health trend—you're not alone. Many people feel curious, hopeful, and skeptical all at once. This conversation is meant to help you slow down, understand what the research actually shows, and think clearly about whether this path is right for you. In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, I'm joined by psychiatrist and MDMA-assisted psychotherapist Dr. Scott Shannon, founder of Wholeness Center, the largest integrative mental health center in the U.S. Together, we talk about how psychedelic therapy works differently from conventional psychiatric treatment, why it can help disrupt rigid trauma patterns in the brain, and what researchers are learning about long-term healing—not just short-term symptom relief. We also spend time on the parts of this conversation that matter just as much: the risks, the ethical boundaries, and the importance of preparation, professional support, and integration. Psychedelic therapy isn't appropriate for everyone, and it isn't something to pursue casually or without careful guidance. This episode offers a grounded, responsible look at how people can think critically about safety, readiness, and what to look for in a qualified provider. As you listen, I invite you to reflect on a few questions: What kind of healing are you actually looking for? What does feeling “better” really mean to you? And how do you decide which growth paths deserve your trust, time, and care? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Psychedelic therapy explained: promise, research, and real risks 02:31 Why psychedelic therapy differs from traditional psychiatric medication 04:55 Trauma, brain patterns, and how psychedelic therapy disrupts stuck loops 07:00 MDMA-assisted therapy for PTSD and why healing can continue long after treatment 12:21 A paradigm shift in mental health: supporting the brain's capacity to heal 19:30 What MDMA actually does in therapy: safety, self-compassion, and trauma processing 25:47 Mystical experience, meaning, and the spiritual dimension of psychedelic therapy 30:09 Ethical concerns, safety risks, and how to evaluate psychedelic therapy providers 38:00 Preparation and integration: why psychedelic therapy is more than the experience itself If this conversation leaves you thinking about your own healing or growth, I want to be clear that Growing Self does not offer psychedelic therapy. What we do offer is thoughtful, evidence-based therapy and coaching for people who want to grow with intention and care. If you'd like, I'd love to help you think through what kind of support would actually be most helpful for you. I've created a simple, private way to do that. By answering just a few quick questions, we can help match you with the right therapist or coach for a complimentary consultation—someone who understands what you're navigating and where you'd like to go next. Schedule a free consultation today. Consider it a small gift from me, and a gentle next step if you're ready for one. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

You're speaking... they're nodding… and yet somehow, the disconnect lingers. Western culture teaches us that communicating more clearly will fix the problems in our relationships, but what if the missing piece isn't “more talking” at all? What if learning how to listen differently is what actually changes everything? When we understand how to listen in a deeper, more intentional way, communication problems soften, conflict and repair become easier, and emotional intimacy has room to grow. In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Haru Yamada, a sociolinguistics researcher, writer, and author of Kiku: The Japanese Art of Good Listening. Haru holds a PhD from Georgetown University and has spent her life studying language, culture, and communication across borders. Having grown up moving between countries and cultures, her work centers on listening as a relational skill and a form of intelligence that supports both emotional and physical health. She now lives in London with her French partner in a multicultural family where listening is essential. Together, we explore what the Japanese art of listening teaches us about how to listen in relationships. We talk about why hearing words is not the same as being understood, how tone, silence, pacing, and emotional awareness shape connection, and why so many couples feel unseen even when conversations sound productive on the surface. This conversation offers a reframe for anyone who wants to be a better listener and communicate with more care, clarity, and compassion. If you've ever wondered how to listen in a way that actually helps your partner feel safe and understood, this episode offers listening skills you can start using right away. These are skills that support conflict and repair, strengthen emotional intimacy, and help couples move out of stuck communication patterns and into real connection. As you listen, I invite you to reflect on these questions: Where might you be listening for information, when what your partner really needs is to be listened to as a person? And how might your relationships change if feeling heard became the goal, not winning the conversation? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Communication Problems Persist in Relationships 01:02 The Japanese Art of Listening and How It Changes Relationships 02:56 Speaking vs Listening: Who Is Responsible for Understanding? 05:18 How Listening Impacts Relational Health and Healing 08:35 “Kiku” and Listening With 14 Hearts: Hearing Information vs Hearing a Person 16:10 Listening Skills That Build Emotional Intimacy 19:31 Why Conflict Happens When We Don't Feel Heard 25:17 How Expectations Shape What We Hear 28:50 How to Be a Good Listener in Love and Relationships 35:27 Staying Present: The Hardest and Most Important Listening Skill 40:19 Listening as Care: How Being Heard Supports Healing and Repair If you'd like support as you practice listening differently and creating more understanding in your relationships, I'd love to help you find the right next step. I've created a simple, private way for you to connect with the support that fits you best. You can answer a few quick questions, and we'll help you schedule a free consultation with the right counselor or coach on my team. It's a quiet, pressure-free space to talk about what's really been happening in your relationships and what you want to feel differently moving forward. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

What if the key to success and happiness isn't working harder, but finally understanding how you're wired to thrive? Many people unknowingly work against their own strengths and personality, leading to stress, stalled career growth, and strained relationships. In this episode, you'll learn how to uncover obstacles, unlock your personal greatness, and start living in your type of working genius. Burnout doesn't always come from doing too much. Often, it comes from spending too much time doing the kind of work that drains you. Patrick Lencioni and I talk about why stress, frustration, and self-criticism are frequent signals of misalignment rather than failure, and how understanding your natural skills can change the way you work, lead, and relate to the people you love. Patrick is the creator of the Working Genius assessment and author of The Six Types of Working Genius. Together, we explore how the Working Genius framework helps people understand their strengths, release shame around what feels hard, and create healthier relationships at work and at home. We also talk about why rest alone doesn't resolve burnout, and why doing more of the right kind of work often restores energy, confidence, and momentum. As you listen, you may find yourself reconsidering long-held beliefs about success, productivity, and what you “should” be good at, and noticing where clarity could replace stress. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Feeling Burned Out and Self-Critical at Work and Home 05:06 Burnout as Working Outside Your Strengths 06:56 The 6 Types of Working Genius Explained 11:45 How Working Genius Differences Affect Relationships 17:50 Enablement and Tenacity as Essential Strengths 21:08 Shame, Comparison, and Misunderstood Skills 32:41 Using Working Genius to Improve Couples and Team Communication 41:34 Why Doing Less Does Not Fix Burnout 55:35 Moving Toward Career Alignment Without Major Life Changes Are you feeling stretched thin while trying to crush it at work and keep up with everything at home? Burnout might be looming and that isn't just because you're doing too much. It's often about doing the wrong kind of work. Patrick created the Working Genius assessment to help you discover what kind of work gives you energy and what drains it. It's helped me find more balance, not by doing less, but by focusing on what I'm actually wired for. If you're a CEO, entrepreneur, or anyone trying to level up in business and life, take the Working Genius assessment today and get 20% off with code LHS at https://www.workinggenius.com/  xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

What's the secret to a marriage full of love, happiness, and success? Happy, thriving couples know that achieving your couple goals—and treating growth like a shared adventure—is what creates deep connection and long-term happiness. In this episode, you'll learn how to uncover obstacles in relationships, communicate proactively, deepen emotional intimacy, and strengthen your bond through intentional, growth-focused love. So many couples set goals for their careers, finances, or personal growth, but rarely pause to ask: What are we working toward together? I'm revisiting this episode because the conversation feels just as relevant now as when it first aired. Joined by licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach Sarah B., we talk about how couples can take a proactive, growth-focused approach to building a strong, connected marriage—long before problems turn into crises. We explore why emotional awareness and communication skills are often missing from our early relationship education, and how that gap quietly creates distance over time. You'll hear practical ways couples can clarify shared goals, stay connected through busy seasons of life, and create emotional safety around some of the most sensitive topics in a marriage, including communication, intimacy, sex, and money. As you listen, I invite you to reflect on this question: If your relationship mattered just as much as every other goal in your life, what would you start doing differently together? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Achieving Your Couple Goals: Love, Happiness, and Success in a Marriage 00:44 Designing Your Shared Future Together 05:48 Uncover Obstacles in Relationships Before Crisis Hits 09:31 Be Willing to Be Messy: The Mindset That Builds Emotional Intimacy 15:41 The Relationship Check-In That Helps Couples Communicate Proactively 19:17 The “Powerball” Exercise to Clarify Couple Goals and Values 22:45 Quality Time That Actually Feels Connecting 30:10 Communicate Proactively: Naming Needs Before You Get Triggered 32:13 Empathy and Boundaries When Conversations Escalate 40:04 Sex and Money: Emotional Safety and Radical Honesty If you're thinking about what you want for your relationship moving forward, I'd love to offer you a gentle next step. As a listener of the podcast, this is my way of inviting you into a more supported, intentional process. You can answer three quick questions to help us understand what's feeling most important in your relationship right now and what kind of support would be the best fit. It's private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes. From there, we'll help you schedule a free consultation with the right expert—someone who can support you in clarifying your couple goals, strengthening emotional intimacy, and building a relationship grounded in love, happiness, and success. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Do you ever find yourself longing for deeper human connection, yet unsure how to actually make it happen? So many people are trying to overcome loneliness while craving friendships that genuinely support their happiness, well-being, and the desire to grow and heal. In this episode, we explore what strengthens your social wellness - from simple practices that help you reconnect with yourself to meaningful experiences that help you feel happier. My guest today is Julia Hotz, a solutions-focused journalist and award-winning author of The Connection Cure. Julia has spent years studying why loneliness is so widespread, what it does to our bodies and minds, and why meaningful relationships feel harder to build than ever. Today, we discuss social prescribing - an emerging practice where doctors and therapists “prescribe” activities like art classes, forest walks, or book clubs based on what matters to you most. These aren't hobbies for the sake of hobbies; they're structured ways of reconnecting with joy, identity, and people who help you feel more like yourself. Julia shares powerful stories, including Glenn, a 92-year-old veteran who went from weeks of silence to a real friendship, and Jonas, who lives with social anxiety and found that culture, music, and stories were his bridge back to connection. We talk about why meaningful relationships aren't just about companionship but self-expansion, helping you understand who you are through the people you connect with. We also explore the internal obstacles that make it harder to overcome loneliness: time constraints, social anxiety, and the awkwardness many people still feel after years of disrupted connection. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why social connection and strong relationships boost health and happiness 00:40 Introducing Julia Hotz and The Connection Cure 01:11 How the UK's minister of loneliness sparked social prescribing 06:47 What loneliness really is and how it impacts your brain and body 10:26 Self-expansion: how deep relationships help you know yourself 12:28 Rebuilding community: from Bowling Alone to modern social prescribing 14:21 Glenn and Ryan's story: loneliness to friendship at age 92 18:05 Social anxiety and culture “vitamins”: easier ways to meet people 23:20 How people connect differently: activities, intimacy, and friendship 26:18 Flipping “What's wrong with me?” to “What matters to me?” 31:14 Why 20 minutes in nature can reset your mind and attention 38:35 How to “prescribe yourself” connection and build a values-based social life If something in this episode resonates and you're thinking, “I don't want to feel this alone anymore,” we would love to support you. At Growing Self, you can schedule a free consultation to get connected with a therapist or coach on my team who truly understands what it takes to overcome loneliness and build meaningful human connection. You'll be able to chat with someone who can walk alongside you as you strengthen your social wellness, rebuild friendships, and feel happier. Schedule a free consultation today. You are worthy of relationships where you feel seen, chosen, and emotionally safe. You don't have to figure this out alone.

If overwhelm has become your constant companion - the thing you wake up with, carry through your day, and fall asleep thinking about - your well-being is trying to tell you something. In this episode, we're unpacking why happiness can feel so far away when stress keeps running the show, and how you can manage what's on your plate without sacrificing yourself in the process. If you're longing to feel happier, love yourself more deeply, and finally declutter the parts of your life that feel too heavy, you are absolutely in the right place! My guest, author and Afro-minimalist Christine Platt (Less Is Liberation: Finding Freedom From a Life of Overwhelm), shares how her “normal” busy life quietly turned into a health crisis, and how she began seeing overwhelm as her body's way of saying, Hey, one of your wells is empty. We talk about the five foundations of wellness (your “personal wells”), the emotional labor and mental load so many women carry, and how learning to declutter your stuff, your schedule, and your beliefs can help you manage stress more wisely and reconnect with a sense of happiness in your daily life. We also get into the messy real-world pieces: overwhelm by circumstance (divorce, money, kids, career), people-pleasing, the guilt around saying no, and why so many of us overbuy and hang onto clutter “just in case.” As you listen, notice: Which of your wells has been running low? What are you still trying to prove by doing so much? And what would “less” need to look like for your life to feel more like your life again? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Constant Overwhelm and Stress: What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You 03:03 Chronic Overwhelm and Hypertension: When Stress Becomes a Health Crisis 05:51 Five Foundations of Wellness: The “Personal Wells” Framework 09:45 Emotional Labor and Mental Load: Why Women Feel So Overwhelmed 12:30 Minimalism as Liberation: Living With Less to Reduce Overwhelm 16:06 Time Scarcity and Productivity: Limiting Beliefs That Keep You Overwhelmed 18:29 Messengers and Limiting Beliefs: Redefining “Selfish” Self-Care 25:32 Overwhelmed by Circumstance: Divorce, Scarcity, and Minimalism by Necessity 32:26 Psychology of Ownership: Why We Overbuy, Hoard, and Accumulate Clutter 42:51 Inner Work Before Decluttering: Healing People-Pleasing and Attachment to Stuff 48:47 Filling Your Wells: Daily Practices for Sustainable Wellness and Well-Being If you're living in that constant state of overwhelm, please know you don't have to sort this out on your own. At Growing Self, you can talk with someone about what's really happening - the stress, the burnout, the clutter on the outside and the inside - and get matched with a therapist or coach who truly understands what you're carrying. Schedule a consultation today! You deserve a life that feels lighter and more intentional, where you can manage stress wisely, feel happier in your day-to-day reality, and genuinely love yourself in how you care for your time, your space, and your emotional well-being.

Wondering if your mother-in-law is just “a lot,” or if you're actually dealing with a truly toxic mother-in-law situation? You are so not the only one lying awake replaying her comments and wondering what to do when this relationship feels way too involved in your marriage and family. In this episode, we're talking about how a toxic mother-in-law dynamic starts to erode your sense of safety at home. Dr. Tracy Dalgleish - clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and author of You, Your Husband and His Mother - joins me to talk honestly about what happens when your partner is still emotionally tied to his mom, you're trying to build a healthy new family, and you keep getting caught in the middle. We look at why some moms struggle to let go, why so many women end up over-functioning for everyone, and why so many men freeze or minimize when it's time to set boundaries with a toxic mother-in-law… and then we talk about what you can do: becoming a united “vault” as a couple, setting real boundaries instead of endless “requests,” and getting clear on your options when the dynamic with your mother-in-law is starting to feel unbearable. Here's how we walk through it together: 00:00 Why Mother-in-Law Conflicts Hurt Communication and Connection 03:14 Dr. Tracy's Story and Why She Wrote “You, Your Husband and His Mother” 05:24 Mother–Son Bonds, Gender Roles, and the Roots of Toxic Mother-in-Law Dynamics 11:03 Unhealthy Family Patterns: Control, Enmeshment, and Emotional Caretaking of Mom 20:56 Overfunctioning Wives, Underfunctioning Husbands, and the Mother–Child Dynamic 24:39 The VAULT Method: Becoming a United Couple and Setting Boundaries with In-Laws 30:48 Requests vs Boundaries: What Really Works with a Toxic Mother-in-Law 51:41 Change, Accept, or Leave: Your Choices in a Toxic Mother-in-Law Situation If this stirs up a very specific conversation with your partner (or a replay of your last holiday with his mom) and your chest tightens a little, I have something for exactly that moment. My Communication That Connects training walks you through the evidence-based do's and don'ts of communication that actually creates understanding instead of more defensiveness and hurt. I'll help you get clear about the real issues under your fights, give you a framework you can start using right away with your partner, and walk you step-by-step through how to have hard conversations in a way that protects your emotional bond instead of tearing it down. And if you're at the point where you're thinking, “I don't want to keep holding this all together by myself,” I would be genuinely honored to support you more directly. At Growing Self, you can privately tell us what's going on with your marriage, your mother-in-law, your family, and we'll help you connect with the right therapist or coach on my team. It's a simple, secure way to raise your hand and say, “Here's what I'm struggling with, please point me to the right person.” You can start that process anytime by scheduling a consultation. You deserve a family life that feels safe, sane, and loving, even if your extended family is… a lot.

If your relationship is stuck in a painful communication breakdown, I want you to know you're not crazy and you're not alone. In this episode, I'm sharing how the right solution-focused therapy techniques can start shifting the energy between you, even if things feel really bad right now. I'm joined by solution-focused brief psychotherapist and author of Change Your Questions, Change Your Future, Elliott Connie, and we're talking about why endlessly analyzing what went wrong rarely creates the change you're craving. Instead, we look at how hope, better questions, and small, intentional acts of love can reopen doors that you were pretty sure were slammed shut: from a “hopeless” divorced couple who ended up with ten beautiful years of remarried life, to the quiet experiment of really studying your partner and giving them more of what you know makes them feel loved. Along the way, we wrestle with the hard stuff too: blame, “I'm the victim here,” boundaries vs. checking out, and whether you're people-pleasing or simply showing up as the kind of partner you want to be. As you listen, I'd love for you to ask yourself: If hope came back into this relationship, what would actually be different between us? And who do I want to be in that story? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Relationships Really Fail: Losing Hope, Not Love 01:19 Solution-Focused Therapy vs Traditional Couples Counseling 06:03 Insight vs Healing: Why Understanding the Problem Won't Fix Your Relationship 10:48 How Hope Heals Relationships: The Most Important Ingredient in Change 15:36 Court-Ordered Co-Parents to Remarried: Elliot Connie's “Finding Nemo” Case Study 22:19 Ending the Blame Game: Taking Personal Responsibility in Marriage Conflicts 27:09 Try This Tonight: Small Acts of Love That Rebuild Emotional Connection 32:02 Is Your Partner Reciprocating? How to Read the Signs and What to Do Next 34:23 Change Your Questions, Change Your Future in Love and Relationships 36:51 Making Your Partner's Happiness Your Job Without Losing Yourself 41:35 People-Pleasing, Boundaries, and Knowing When a Relationship Is Unhealthy 44:54 How to Get More Help for Your Relationship and Personal Growth If this conversation is bringing a particular argument or painful cycle to mind and you can feel your body tense up at the thought of talking about it, I created something to walk alongside you. My Communication That Connects training is where I take you deeper into the heart of this work: the real issues that drive conflict, the evidence-based do's and don'ts of communication that creates connection instead of distance, and a clear framework you can start using with your partner right away.  And if you're at the point where you're thinking, “We cannot keep doing this by ourselves,” I would be truly honored to support you more directly. At Growing Self, you can tell us what's going on, what you've already tried, and what you're hoping for, and we'll thoughtfully connect you with the right therapist or coach on my team. It's a private, secure way to say, “Here's what I'm struggling with,” and get matched with someone who can walk through this with you, step by step. You can begin that process by scheduling a consultation. You deserve a relationship where hard conversations are survivable, you feel heard and cherished, and love feels like a safe place to land.

If you've ever told yourself, “I'll finally relax when my relationship is better, my house is cleaner, my body looks different, my career is farther along,” this conversation is for you and me both. As we step into the holiday season - a time that invites reflection, gratitude, and sometimes a little extra pressure - I'm revisiting this episode because the message is timeless. We're talking about cultivating contentment in the life you actually have, not some upgraded future version of it, and how to feel more at peace inside yourself without giving up your dreams, your drive, or your big, beautiful goals. We'll look at the difference between quick hits of happiness and that steadier “all is well in my world” feeling, the paradox of being an ambitious human who also wants to enjoy today, and some very practical ways to take inventory of your life, question old beliefs about worth and achievement, and stop outsourcing your emotional climate to your circumstances. As you listen, I'd love for you to consider: What have you been making your happiness conditional on? And what might change if today, messy and imperfect as it is, actually counted as a good life? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction to Contentment 04:24 The Pursuit of Happiness vs. Contentment 10:56 Understanding Contentment 20:36 The Paradox of Growth and Contentment 22:29 Taking Inventory for Contentment 29:17 Exploring Core Beliefs and Values 32:55 The Impact of Negative Thinking 37:10 Contentment and Happiness 40:37 The Illusion of Circumstantial Happiness 46:20 The Journey of Personal Growth 52:32 Finding Joy in the Process of Life If you're noticing how long you've been living in “when things are different, then I'll be okay,” and you'd like a thoughtful partner while you practice something healthier, I'd love to connect with you. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team; it's a private, secure space where you can tell us what's really been going on in your world and what you're hoping will feel different. We'll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can feel more grounded, more understood, and more free to enjoy the life you're in while you grow into what's next.

This time of year brings a lot of togetherness… and with it, a lot of unspoken tension. Difficult conversations are the ones you rehearse in your mind or hold back during holiday dinners, worried that saying the wrong thing could create a rift you can't repair. That's why I'm re-releasing this episode on how to have difficult conversations in a way that protects your relationship (and often deepens it) instead of pushing you further apart. We'll talk about why we either avoid hard topics until resentment leaks out, or bring them up in a burst of anger and criticism, and how both patterns wear down trust over time. You'll learn what it actually takes to do this differently: managing emotional flooding, getting honest with yourself before you speak, knowing when a conversation is worth having (and when it's time to set a firm boundary), and shifting the goal from “winning” to mutual understanding so you can stay connected even when you don't agree. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Navigating Difficult Conversations 06:07 Emotional Intelligence & Self-Regulation 17:49 When to Set Boundaries and Walk Away 21:00 Growth Through Discomfort 27:05 Preparing for Hard Conversations 29:53 Seeing Through Others' Eyes 36:08 Handling Polarized Views 42:09 Reciprocity & Healthy Relationships If this episode brings a specific conversation to mind and your stomach flips a little just thinking about it, I have a resource to support you. My Communication That Connects free training takes you deeper into the skills we cover here - practical do's and don'ts for communication that creates understanding, plus real examples you can use with your partner right away. You'll also receive a full workbook with lessons, activities, and homework to help you get to the root of conflict, calm reactive patterns, and build a more emotionally safe connection.  And if you're at the point where you don't want to keep doing this alone, I'd be honored to support you more directly. At Growing Self, you can tell us what's going on in your life and relationships, and we'll help you connect with the right therapist or coach on my team. It's a simple, private way to say, “Here's what I'm struggling with,” and get matched with someone who can walk through it with you. Start that process here: schedule a consultation. You deserve relationships where you can say the hard things, feel truly heard, and still feel loved at the end of the day.

AI has woven itself into our daily lives so quietly and so quickly that many of us don't even realize how emotionally attached we're becoming to it... and your AI chatbot might be destroying the way you connect & communicate in your relationships in real life. My guest, Dr. Rachel Wood, a licensed counselor with a PhD in cyberpsychology, helps us make sense of why AI feels so safe, so comforting, and in some cases so intimate, and what it means for our real relationships when a chatbot becomes the place we go to feel understood. We talk about the very real appeal of an AI companion that never gets tired, never gets defensive, and always seems to “get” you. And we also talk about the moments when that dynamic crosses into something unhealthy: when an omnibot becomes your therapist, your best friend, your partner, and your decision-maker… all at once. Rachel shares examples of how dependency forms, how delusions can develop, and why our relational and cognitive “muscles” matter more than ever in this new landscape. This conversation isn't anti-AI. It's about staying awake, staying human, and staying connected to ourselves and to each other while we navigate a technology that is becoming surprisingly personal. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 How AI Is Changing Human Relationships 09:20 The Spectrum of AI Relationships 20:18 Cognitive Offloading and Its Real-World Consequences 27:31 Using AI for Growth Without Losing Agency 32:59 When AI Becomes a Dependency 37:07 The Dangers of AI Escalation: A Suicidality Case Study 43:03 AI in Therapy: Tool or Replacement? 51:16 How to Support Someone Attached to Their AI If you're listening to this and realizing you may be leaning on AI a little more than feels good, or maybe you're worried about someone you love, please know you're not alone. These are tender places, and they deserve real, caring support. If you'd like a safe space to sort through what's coming up for you, or if you're craving more connection and clarity in your relationships, I'd love to help you get started. You can schedule a consultation with me or someone on my team. Tell us what's on your heart and what you're hoping for. We'll help you get matched with the right support so you can feel steady, understood, and empowered again.

The holiday season is so challenging when you're dealing with relationship loss. That's why I am re-releasing this episode on how to manage a breakup or divorce through the holiday season. This time of year can stir up old feelings, magnify loss, and make you question whether you'll ever feel like yourself again - and that's exactly why this conversation still matters. It can feel especially brutal when you're going through a breakup over the holidays. Everyone else is in goofy sweaters and twinkle lights, and you're just trying to get through the day without crying in the bathroom. In this episode, I'm talking with you about why you still feel hooked on your ex (even if you know the relationship needed to end), how love can function like an addiction in your brain, and why this season tends to rip everything wide open emotionally. I walk you through the stages of healing after a breakup - from that torturous ambivalence where part of you is still hoping, to the grief of finally letting go, to the anger, guilt, and self-doubt that can sneak up on you later - and then into rebuilding your self-esteem, finding some inner peace, and eventually growing into a wiser, stronger version of yourself. As you listen, I want you to be gently asking yourself, Where am I in this process? What do I actually need right now: space, support, boundaries, or a little nudge back into life? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Coping with Loss During the Holidays 10:15 Understanding the Emotional Impact of Breakups 16:33 Navigating the Stages of Healing 18:34 The Ambivalence Stage: Letting Go 22:15 Emotional Freedom: Grieving and Moving On 28:01 Rebuilding Self-Esteem After a Breakup 31:15 Finding Inner Peace and Moving Forward 34:29 Growth: Learning from the Experience If you're listening to this and thinking, I can't do this by myself anymore, I would be truly honored to support you. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team. It's a private, secure place to tell us what's been going on for you - the grief, the intrusive thoughts about your ex, the way the holidays are stirring everything back up - and we'll help you get matched with the right expert so you don't have to figure this out alone. Thousands of people have used this first step to begin healing their hearts and rebuilding their lives, and you can too. If your heart is saying, I'm ready for some real support, consider this my personal invitation to reach out.

Let's get honest for a second. Porn addiction isn't really about sex. It's about connection… about loneliness, shame, and the ache to feel close to something when life feels empty or overwhelming. My guest for this episode, Sathiya Sam, knows that pain deeply. After a 15-year struggle with porn addiction, he rebuilt his life and now helps others do the same through his Deep Clean program - a compassionate, science-meets-spirituality approach that helps people stop using porn and start building real connection again. We're talking about what really drives addiction, the role of purpose and community in recovery, how to protect kids in this new digital world, and what AI “relationships” mean for the future of intimacy. It's a deep, human conversation about healing, hope, and the real work of reclaiming yourself. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Porn Addiction Is About Connection, Not Willpower 01:17 Sathiya Sam's Recovery Story and Deep Clean Method 07:21 Purpose, Boredom, and the Root Causes of Porn Use 13:44 Protecting Kids From Early Exposure 18:24 AI, Loneliness, and Synthetic Intimacy 30:11 Healing Through Community and Real Connection 34:32 Why Your Partner Shouldn't Be Your Accountability Partner 39:34 First Steps to Quit Porn for Good Sometimes the hardest part is admitting you need a little help, and the bravest thing you can do is take that first step. If you're ready to start your own growth and healing journey, you can get support from Sathiya here: https://www.sathiyasam.com/growing-self. Let them know Dr. Lisa sent you! ❤️ You don't have to carry this by yourself. Real change is possible… and it starts with connection. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self P.S. I'd also love to hear what resonated for you or what ideas you'd like me to explore next. Let's keep the conversation going!

What if the guilt you've been trying to shake is a guiding light for better relationships? We spend so much energy trying not to feel guilty, about losing our temper, missing a call, falling short in some way, but guilt isn't proof that you're broken. It's proof that you care. In this episode, I talk with psychologist Dr. Chris Moore about how guilt can actually help you heal your relationships, reconnect with your empathy, and live in alignment with your values. Here's a peek at what we cover: 00:00 Guilt Is Good: Why Feeling Guilty Can Heal Relationships 01:54 The Guilt Cocktail: Empathy, Anxiety, and Self-Anger 08:24 Guilt vs. Shame: How to Tell the Difference 13:43 Turning Guilt Into Repair: Apology and Forgiveness 16:48 When You Can't Fix It: Guilt, Grief, and Self-Forgiveness 23:27 Moral Injury, Trauma, and Survivor Guilt 28:37 Chronic Guilt: Why Women Feel It More 33:12 How to Reframe Guilt and Use It as a Guide 41:13 Guilt Means You Care If something in this conversation stirred your heart, maybe an old regret or a relationship you'd love to mend, you don't have to sort through it alone. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team at Growing Self. It's a warm, private space to talk about what's been weighing on you, get help managing guilt in a healthy way, and start moving forward with self-forgiveness and clarity. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Have you ever said yes when every part of you was quietly screaming no? Or pushed through your day on fumes, wondering where your energy went? We've all been there - doing a million things that look productive but leave us totally drained. In this episode, I'm talking with psychologist and author Dr. Diana Hill about how to reclaim your energy and focus by using them wisely. Diana's new book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, is about learning to tell the difference between what fuels you and what quietly burns you out. We get into how to recognize “unwise effort” - those moments when you're forcing, overdoing, or holding on too tight - and how to reconnect with your genius energy, that natural flow that feels effortless and alive. She also shares simple ways to check in with yourself: a 24-hour “regret scan” to see where your energy went off-track, and four questions to help you decide what's actually worth your time, attention, and heart. It's all about being intentional, not perfect, and remembering that the most powerful thing you can do is choose where your energy goes. As you listen, notice where your energy feels pulled, and what choices leave you feeling lighter, freer, more yourself. What are you still holding on to that's quietly exhausting you? And what would it look like to let that go? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 What Is Wise Effort and Why Energy Matters 02:50 Three Patterns That Drain Your Energy 07:04 Finding Your Genius Energy 11:04 Regret as a Compass for Wise Energy 22:00 The Four-Question Filter for Wise Decisions 29:39 How Relationships Affect Your Energy 42:30 Reclaiming Energy and Focus Through Wise Effort If you've been feeling scattered or depleted, this may be your moment to pause and realign. Working with one of our expert therapists or coaches can help you understand where your energy and focus are going - and guide you toward choices that feel more grounded, intentional, and restorative. Schedule your free consultation to start creating the balance you've been craving. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Have you ever asked yourself, “When does ‘my money' become ‘our money'?” It's one of those questions couples don't really face until tension starts to build. And by then, it's rarely about the dollars. It's about fairness, power, and feeling seen. In this episode, I'm joined by Heather and Douglas Boneparth, the power couple behind Bone Fide Wealth Management, and co-authors of their new book, Money Together: How to Find Fairness in Your Relationship and Become an Unstoppable Financial Team. We talk about what really happens when love meets money - the unspoken expectations, the invisible labor, and the stories we tell ourselves about who's “earning” more or contributing “enough.” Heather and Douglas share their own wake-up moment during the pandemic, when their careers and family roles shifted and resentment started creeping in. We explore what it means to honor each other's time as a form of currency, how to rebuild balance when things feel uneven, and why fairness doesn't always mean splitting everything 50/50. As you listen, think about what fairness looks like in your relationship. How do you value each other's time, effort, and care? And what might change if you started talking about money as a shared story instead of a scoreboard? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 When Does My Money Become Our Money? 01:03 Why Couples Fight About Money 08:39 Time Is a Currency 15:29 From “Me” to “We” 21:24 Mistakes vs. Missteps 23:56 Different Definitions of “Enough” 28:12 “My Money” vs. “Our Money” 39:09 Practical Playbook: Money Dates & Goal Alignment 44:45 Case Study: Inheritance & Grief 51:03 When to Seek Financial Therapy for Couples There's a ton of great information in this podcast AND it's also true that talking about money and creating agreement in your financial relationship can be very tricky for many couples. You don't have to go it alone. One of the things my practice is known for is financial therapy for couples, specifically. If this is a current pain point in your relationship, I hope you get in touch with us and allow us to guide you through the process of creating alignment around all parts of your life, including financials. Here's the link to learn more, and set up a free consultation. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

How much of what you do every day is really your choice? The food you crave, the shows you watch, the moods you slip into - so much of it is quietly being shaped by invisible influences you probably never notice. In this episode, I talk with Dr. Tatyana El-Kour, a psychologist and registered dietitian who studies how media and technology shape our behavior. She shares how algorithms learn our emotional rhythms - what time of day we're vulnerable, what kind of content keeps us scrolling - and use that data to steer our choices. We also explore something just as powerful: the invisible influence inside us. Your gut microbiome doesn't just affect digestion. It can shape your emotions, focus, and even your resilience. This conversation left me thinking deeply about how easily we're guided by forces we can't see and how much freedom comes from noticing them. Once you recognize what's pulling the strings, you can start reclaiming your power, one intentional choice at a time. As you listen, ask yourself: When do I feel most on autopilot? What's really driving my decisions in those moments? And what would it look like to start choosing differently? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Hidden Power of Invisible Influence 02:00 How Algorithms Shape Your Choices and Emotions 09:30 Emotional Tracking and Predictive Technology 13:30 When Digital Nudges Impact Health and Body Image 18:00 The Psychology Behind Algorithmic Addiction 29:00 Echo Chambers, Polarization, and Cognitive Rigidity 38:00 How to Recognize and Resist Invisible Influence 43:15 The Gut-Brain Connection and Emotional Resilience 55:00 Reclaiming Awareness and Agency If you're curious about the invisible forces shaping your path, I made something to help you look beneath the surface. My What's Holding You Back? Quiz is a short, thoughtful tool to help you see what might be standing between you and your next breakthrough. Think of it as a little mirror for your inner world - gentle, honest, and surprisingly clarifying. Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. I share new insights (and sometimes a few behind-the-scenes thoughts) every week. And I'd really love to know what this episode stirred up for you. I always love hearing your takeaways so let's talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self