Podcast appearances and mentions of Gary Thomas

Hey friends! We are making our way through the Relationship Ready series. A series where I am re-posting some of my most popular episodes on relationship advice (while I'm away on maternity leave) and today Kaleb and I dive deep into the essentials you should know BEFORE getting married. From red flags and Godly wisdom to personal stories, boundaries, and pre-marital advice, we're Spilling. It. All. Whether you're single, dating, or engaged, this episode is packed with REAL, grounded, Biblical advice that we've lived out. Plus, we talk about everything from community and accountability to the power of mentorship, character, and how to find the right person. Let's get into it. Books Mentioned: - The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas - 101 Questions to Ask Before Getting Engaged by H. Norman Wright - The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller ORDER MY BOOK! Our Sponsors BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp.com/HAPPYHEALTHY today and get 10% off your first month Our Place: Visit fromourplace.com/HEALTHY and use code HEALTHY for 10% off site wide. Function: In the spirit of Long Live and taking control of your health, get a $100 credit towards your annual membership at: www.functionhealth.com/HAPPY. This $100 credit is only for the first thousand listeners. Or use code HAPPY100 at check out. Follow us on Instagram! Happy and Healthy: https://www.instagram.com/HappyandHealthyPodcast/ Jeanine: https://www.instagram.com/jeanineamapola/ Jeanine and Kaleb: https://www.instagram.com/jeanineandkaleb/ Follow us on TikTok! Happy and Healthy: https://www.tiktok.com/@happyandhealthypodcast Jeanine: https://www.tiktok.com/@jeanineamapola Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SWM 150 - Control, sex and marriage. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.Last month, I watched a great video by Gary Thomas and his wife Lisa on how a controlling spirit can harm a marriage. It got me thinking: In Christian circles, we often struggle to define the difference between healthy leadership and damaging control—both in marriage and in our relationship with God.Why is it that surrendering to God is seen as good, but demanding control from a spouse is harmful? The key, I believe, is consent and love. When surrender is freely given and motivated by love, it can bring freedom and joy. But when control is forced, it leads to resentment and broken trust.In this post, I'm sharing some personal stories and lessons we've learned about navigating these tricky dynamics in marriage.Links in this podcast episode:Gary Thomas - Substack - A controlling spirit can devestate a marriageSWM 108 - What does the Bible say about hell?Sexual Frequency - Why I don't worry anymoreBecoming More Sexually Engaged Course - For Christian WivesSexy Photos Course - For Christian WivesBecoming More Sexually Engaged Course - For Christian WivesFollow us on Facebook, Instagram and TwitterIf you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.Thank you to all our faithful supporters!If you like that there are no ads in our podcast and want to keep it that way, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference.Lastly, if you like our podcast, please rate it as it helps others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

What if positive feelings toward your wife were a powerful motivator to move away from porn.  In this episode Vern builds on a recent book he read called  "Cherish" by Gary Thomas.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

Some believers like loud celebration. Others prefer quiet contemplation. Which “spiritual temperament” do you have? Gary Thomas explores nine different ways Christians connect with God. You may be motivated to explore some of these yourself!

When your daily devotions start to feel a little “stale,” you may need to find a new way to connect with God! Gary Thomas describes nine “sacred pathways” Christians use to experience God more fully. Which spiritual temperament are you?

In his message at Cherry Hills Community Church, Pastor Gary Thomas emphasized that parenting is more often caught than taught. He explained that children learn far more from the behavior they observe than from the words they hear. Parents, he said, must become the example they want their children to follow—living out the values, integrity, and faith they hope to see reflected in their kids. Pastor Gary encouraged moms and dads to focus less on perfect lectures and more on consistent, authentic living. Ultimately, he reminded the congregation that the most powerful parenting tool is a life well-lived.

MARC COPLAND “ALL BLUES AT NIGHT” New York, September, 1990On Green Dolphin Street, All bluesTim Hagans (tp,flhrn) Marc Copland (p) Gary Peacock (b) Bill Stewart (d) CHARLES LLOYD “TRIOS : CHAPEL” Live Coates Chapel, San Antonio, TX, December, 2018Blood count, Song my lady sings, Ay amorCharles Lloyd (ts,fl) Bill Frisell (g) Thomas Morgan (b) ORRIN EVANS “THE RED DOOR” New York, December 12, 2022Red door (1,2), Phoebe's stroll, Feed the fireNicholas Payton (tp-1) Gary Thomas (ts-2,fl-3) Orrin Evans (p) Robert Hurst (b) Marvin “Smitty” Smith (d) Continue reading Puro Jazz 01 de mayo, 2025 at PuroJazz.

Despite the many distractions of the earthy world, humans are forever intertwined with God. Therefore, we must learn how to live a sacred life, let go of our desires, and be one with the Lord. Tommy Thompson sits down with bestselling author Gary Thomas who wrote over 20 books centered on bringing people closer to God and others. With most of his works containing the word “sacred” in the title, he shares how his writings guide readers on reconnecting with God in various ways while building a Christ-centered legacy. Gary also opens up about his passion for running marathons, his most important writing practices, and how to maintain healthy and long-lasting relationships.Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! http://tommythompson.org

We did it—500 episodes! Today, we're celebrating this incredible milestone by taking a look back at the conversations that have shaped us, stretched us, and stayed with us. From unforgettable guests who made us laugh, to powerful lessons that changed the way we think and lead—this episode is a tribute to the moments that mattered most. We're sharing the episodes we return to again and again… and the ones you keep talking about too. Whether you've been with us from the beginning or just found us recently, this 500th episode is a celebration of the journey we've taken together. Come celebrate with us! LIST OF FAVORITE EPISODE John Mark Comer - The Secret to Enoying Your Life 5 Episodes That I Think of Often 388 How Boundaries Help Us Get What We Really Want for Christmas with Sasha Shillcut (people are upset when you establish new boundaries bc they benefitted from your lack of boundaries or are resentful they didn't maintain the same boundary) 444 Love, Pray, Listen, Parenting Young Adults with Mary DeMuth (emphasis on maintaining relationship) 266 Our Relationship With Alcohol with Jenn Kautsch (Her own story of determining alcohol was no longer serving her) 376 Midlife Is No Joke: The Big Questions in Midlife (The things that used to work no longer do) 332 This Cultural Moment: Facing Reality with Jen Oshman (On being an informed citizen with boundaries) Krista Inheritance Gone Right with Sean and Jill Maher Helping your young adult kids find their career path with Tyler Lafferty The Soul of Shame with Dr Curt Thompson Midlife is no joke - The big questions in midlife with Kelly Flanagan Resilient Faith with Jerry Sittser 5 Guests I Won't Forget  181 Kay Warren on Depression and Anxiety 377 Midlife Is No Joke: Marriage with Jimmy and Irene Rollins 310 Moving Through Grief and Loss at Christmas with Nancy Hicks David Thomas —> 274 Parenting Teens: Navigating Emotions & 165 Parenting in the New Year 261 Katherin Wolff on Suffering Krista Parenting Young Adult Children with Dr Jim Burns Seven Surprising Ways to Rest with Dr Saundra Dalton Candace Cameron Bure Jackie Green and Lauren McAfee - how to be a person of legacy What Healthy Relationships do and don't have with Gary Thomas 5 Episodes Where I've Implemented Something I Learned 446 Styling Fashion Over 40 with Julie Powell and Krista Olufson 437 Jumpstarting Your Midlife Health with Megan Dahlman 414 Beat the Frumpy - on fashion with Jammie Baker 312 The Healthy Way: Productivity and Habits with Tanya Dalton 430 The Art and Heart of Holiday Gathering with Anna Watson Carl Krista Ep 493 Experience God, Really with John Eldredge - quote + God being “right here” in you + pausing + day, week, month year plan for renewal Lead your mindset with Emily Love The Secret to Success with Jeff Henderson Mental Training for Your Athlete and Yourself with Trisha Kroll Healthy Relationships 101 with John Townsend 5 Episodes That Brought Me Joy (It was all about the guests) 455 & 456 Building a Lasting Legacy with Rick and Diane Thomas 445 Maximizing Your Look with Rebecca Reid, Color Analyst 326 The Brain Game: The Soul of Shame with Dr. Curt Thompson 305 The Family Legacy Series with Eric Peterson 95  Sally Clarkson Krista Cultivating a Marriage that Lasts with Dan Allender The Secret to being instantly understood with John Trent Lisa Bevere - b/c she's awesome Kate Merrick - b/c there's no one like Kate and it's a moving story of faith Edie Littlefield Sundby - Movement heals the body 5 Episodes Others Have Talked About  421 & 422: What I've Noticed About You: Our Keys to Longterm Friendship 373: A Busy Mom's Guide to Photo Organization with Casey Von Stein 469: Who Am I If? 378 Midlife is No Joke: Menopause with Dr. Carol Tanksley 472: Faith-Driven Voters: Questions We Ask as We Cast Our Ballots With Kaitlyn Schess Krista How to feel the feels with Aundi Kobler Fighting for Family with Julie and Chris Bennett DISC your way to better relationships How to incorporate meaningful rituals into milestone birthdays  Innovation and creativity - two secrets to living life well with Ken Wytsma She's Re-launching - most recent episode on going back to work SPOTIFY LINK TO THE PLAYLIST OF EPISODES WE MENTION A FEW THINGS MENTIONED Books Sacred Marriage- Gary Thomas Sacred Parenting- Gary Thomas And She Still Laughs- Kate Merrick The Mission Walker- Edie Littlefield Sundby Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out - Jim Burns Try softer-Aundi kolber LET'S CONNECT! Did you like this episode? Let us know and leave a review on itunes or share it with a friend. Or message us on Instagram – we'd love to hear from you! Get the Daily Dozen Checklist -12 habits that will immediately make you happier and healthier

In his message at Cherry Hills Community Church, Pastor Gary Thomas emphasized that every marriage needs a God-given mission to truly thrive. Using Matthew 6:33, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well," he challenged couples to prioritize God's purpose over personal happiness. Pastor Gary explained that when spouses unite around serving God's kingdom, their relationship grows stronger and more meaningful. He encouraged husbands and wives to ask, "How can our marriage advance God's work in the world?" Ultimately, he reminded everyone that a mission-driven marriage reflects Christ's love and brings lasting fulfillment beyond what self-focused living can offer.

We've talked about the fact that many women struggle to ‘flip the switch' and enjoy married sex, and we've talked about what might contribute to that. But we haven't talked about what husbands can do to help their wives enjoy sex. Juli shares a conversation from Gary Thomas' Podcast where she was a panelist alongside Debra Fileta and Belah Rose.   Host: Gary Thomas   Featured Speakers: Dr. Juli Slattery, Debra Fileta, MA, LPC and Belah Rose   Gary's Website: garythomas.com Gary's Newsletter: garythomasbooks.substack.com   Book: Married Sex by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta, MA, LPC Book: Rethinking Sexuality by Dr. Juli Slattery Book: God, Sex and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery   Juli's Website: authenticintimacy.com Debra's Website: debrafileta.com Belah's Website: delightyourmarriage.com   Please support Joy and Zack Skarka on GoFundMe   Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.

John 11:20-27, 38-44 The Sorrow Over the Dead (vv. 20-24) Frustration Faith The Savior of the Dead (vv. 25-27) The Announcement The Assurance The Summons of the Dead (vv. 38-44) The Protest The Prayer The Proof More to Consider As Vice President, George Bush represented the U.S. at the funeral of former Soviet leader Leonid Brezhnev. Bush was deeply moved by a silent protest carried out by Brezhnev's widow. She stood motionless by the coffin until seconds before it was closed. Then, just as the soldiers touched the lid, Brezhnev's wife performed an act of great courage and hope, a gesture that must surely rank as one of the most profound acts of civil disobedience ever committed: She reached down and made the sign of the cross on her husband's chest. There in the citadel of secular, atheistic power, the wife of the man who had run it all hoped that her husband was wrong. She hoped that there was another life, and that that life was best represented by Jesus who died on the cross, and that the same Jesus might yet have mercy on her husband. Gary Thomas, Christian Times, October 3, 1994, p. 26. Little Philip, born with Down's syndrome, attended a third-grade Sunday School class with several eight-year-old boys and girls. Typical of that age, the children did not readily accept Philip with his differences, according to an article in leadership magazine. But because of a creative teacher, they began to care about Philip and accept him as part of the group, though not fully. The Sunday after Easter the teacher brought L'eggs pantyhose containers, the kind that look like large eggs. Each receiving one, the children were told to go outside on that lovely spring day, find some symbol for new life, and put it in the egg-like container. Back in the classroom, they would share their new-life symbols, opening the containers one by one in surprise fashion. After running about the church property in wild confusion, the students returned to the classroom and placed the containers on the table. Surrounded by the children, the teacher began to open them one by one. After each one, whether a flower, butterfly, or leaf, the class would ooh and ahh. Then one was opened, revealing nothing inside. The children exclaimed, That's stupid. That's not fair. Somebody didn't do their assignment." Philip spoke up, "That's mine." Philip, you don't ever do things right!" the student retorted. "There's nothing there!" "I did so do it," Philip insisted. "I did do it. It's empty. the tomb was empty!" Silence followed. From then on Philip became a full member of the class. He died not long afterward from an infection most normal children would have shrugged off. At the funeral this class of eight-year-olds marched up to the altar not with flowers, but with their Sunday school teacher, each to lay on it an empty pantyhose egg. Source Unknown.

Pastor Gary Thomas delivered a powerful and thoughtful message at Cherry Hills Community Church, focusing on the letter to the church of Laodicea in Revelation. He unpacked how their self-reliance led to spiritual complacency—and how we can fall into the same trap today. With clarity and insight, he challenged us to shift from independence to a daily dependence on God. Rather than settling for a lukewarm faith, we're invited into a deeper, more honest relationship with Christ.

Nuestra mayor necesidad no es que seamos amados, sino que aprendamos cómo amarnos unos a otros. Gary Thomas explica que necesitamos aprender cómo extender el amor de Dios a otros, comenzando con nuestros cónyuges. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

Nuestra mayor necesidad no es que seamos amados, sino que aprendamos cómo amarnos unos a otros. Gary Thomas explica que necesitamos aprender cómo extender el amor de Dios a otros, comenzando con nuestros cónyuges. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

Un buen matrimonio no se da cuando encuentra a la persona correcta, sino cuando edifica al cónyuge que ya tiene. Gary Thomas comparte tres pilares para edificar su matrimonio, de modo que este dure para toda la vida. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

Un buen matrimonio no se da cuando encuentra a la persona correcta, sino cuando edifica al cónyuge que ya tiene. Gary Thomas comparte tres pilares para edificar su matrimonio, de modo que este dure para toda la vida. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/692/29

Do you ‘love’ your spouse, almost as an obligation, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart by choosing to see the best in their spouse. Receive the book Cherish plus a free audio download of "Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day" for your donation of any amount! Plus, receive member-exclusive benefits when you make a recurring gift today. Your monthly support helps families thrive. Get More Episode Resources If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

In his powerful message based on the letter to the church in Philadelphia from the book of Revelation, Pastor Gary Thomas emphasizes the strength and reward found in perseverance. Highlighting Christ's words, “You have kept my word and have not denied my name,” Pastor Gary encourages believers to remain faithful amidst trials, reminding them that endurance is not about perfection, but about steadfast commitment to God. He draws attention to the open door that no one can shut—God's promise to those who hold on, even with little strength. Through this message, Pastor Gary inspires the church to cling to their faith, assuring them that perseverance in the face of hardship leads to eternal victory and divine affirmation.

In Pastor Gary Thomas's message at Cherry Hills Community Church, he explored the letter to the church of Sardis in the Book of Revelation. He spoke about the danger of spiritual complacency and the need to stay connected to a genuine, living faith. Pastor Gary encouraged the congregation to examine their hearts and ensure their faith is more than just outward appearances. He reminded everyone of the importance of staying spiritually awake and responsive to God's calling. The message served as a thoughtful reminder to seek a deeper, more authentic relationship with Christ.

If you want a better marriage, pay attention to your spouse! Gary Thomas encourages you to communicate more, learn how to forgive, and avoid contempt in your relationship. It's a great formula for taking your marriage to the next level!

Are you willing to play “second violin” in your marriage? Gary Thomas describes how serving, affirming, and committing to your spouse above all others will give you a greater marriage than you could ever imagine.

Pastor Chris wears many hats in our church. There is one thing he does that touches all the ministries he shepherds. That is counseling .We visited with him to learn more about his perspective and vision for this role within our church.Five book recommendations Chris makes... - Discipleship by A.W. Tozier - The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Ditch Your Thinking by Scott Longyear - Nine Essential Conversations Before You Say I Do by Dr. Gary Thomas - Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make by Paul Tripp

Do you feel like you're failing as a parent? We've all been there! On this episode, Pastor Gary Thomas, the author of Sacred Parenting, breaks down how moms and dads can work through impatience, anger, and exhaustion by understanding how our children see humility and sacrifice. We will also answer a listener question about helping rebellious teenagers learn respect and responsibility. Click here to ask for Gary Thomas' book, Sacred Parenting, for a gift of any amount. Call 1800AFAMILY for our counseling department, and we can put more information about that process in the show notes. Click Here to Support the Show! We'd love to hear from you! Visit our Homepage to leave us a voicemail.

Why do many relationships seem doomed to fail despite initial love and commitment? Why are more and more people waiting to get married? Gary Thomas unpacks the hidden dynamics behind why relationships sometimes fail and explores the cultural and personal reasons behind why so many people are remaining single. Drawing from his acclaimed book Sacred Marriage, Gary offers practical, spiritually grounded strategies to build a love that endures and transforms. Whether you're in a relationship or navigating the dating scene, this episode provides actionable advice to help you nurture a deeper, lasting connection and create a marriage that not only survives but thrives.Check out Gary's books HERE.----------------------Do you ever struggle with how to share your faith with those who won't walk into a church?Ben has completely revised and updated his powerful book, Jesus in the Secular World: Reaching a Culture in Crisis—a must-read guide for anyone longing to reach those who may never step foot in a church. Packed with real-world insights and practical strategies, this book could be the breakthrough you've been searching for.Don't wait—get your copy today!Click HERE to check it out on Amazon.For more information go to: jesusinthesecularworld.com------------------------Questions, comments, or feedback? We'd love to hear what you think! Send them to provokeandinspire@steiger.org, or send us a message on Instagram.Click HERE to receive news, thought-provoking articles, and stories directly in your inbox from Ben, David, Luke, and Chad!Click below to follow the regulars on Instagram!Ben PierceDavid PierceChad JohnsonLuke GreenwoodSend us a text

ORRIN EVANS “THE RED DOOR” Ambler, PA, March 11, 2020All the things you are (1)Wallace Roney (tp-1) Orrin Evans (p) Buster Williams (b) Gene Jackson (d) New York, December 12, 2022Red door (1,2), Big small (1,2), Smoke rings (1,2)Nicholas Payton (tp-1) Gary Thomas (ts-2,fl-3) Orrin Evans (p) Robert Hurst (b) Marvin “Smitty” Smith (d) HAL GAYLOR / WALTER NORRIS / BILLY BEAN “THE TRIO” New York, June 6 & 30, 1961Grooveyard, The end of a love affair, Che-Low (1), For heaven's sakeWalter Norris (p) Billy Bean (g) Hal Gaylor (b,cello-1) TINA BROOKS “MINOR MOVE” Hackensack, NJ, March 16, 1958Nutville, The way you look tonightLee Morgan (tp) Tina Brooks (ts) Sonny Clark (p) Doug Watkins (b) Art Blakey (d) Continue reading Puro Jazz 18 de febrero, 2025 at PuroJazz.

Gary is a bestselling author and international speaker whose ministry brings people closer to Christ and closer to others. His writings have established him as a thought-leader in the areas of marriage, parenting, and spiritual formation. His books have sold over two million copies, been translated into more than a dozen languages, and won numerous awards. We'll be talking today primarily about one of his newer books, called When to Walk Away, which is all about how to handle what are often called “toxic relationships.”  For more Axis resources, go to axis.org.

Jesus is present and active, reigning over all history. The early church in Ephesus faced persecution and false teachings, yet Christ reminded them that His kingdom, not the world's, is ultimate. While they stood firm in truth, they had lost their first love—both for Him and for others. This message warns us that faithfulness is not just about right beliefs but also about love. Overcoming does not mean earthly victory but remaining steadfast despite opposition. Jesus calls us to resist the pressures of the world while staying devoted to Him and compassionate toward others. Hold onto truth, love zealously, and remain faithful. Jesus is here, strengthening us—will you overcome and walk in His promise?

I recently had the incredible opportunity to be a guest on Gary Thomas' podcast. If you've been around Delight Your Marriage for a while, you know what a dear friend Gary has been to this ministry. Not only is he a best-selling author and speaker, but he's also been so generous in inviting us to share on his platform in the past. And this time? I got to be part of a panel alongside two truly amazing women: Juli Slattery—President and Co-Founder of Authentic Intimacy and author of several life-changing books, including God, Sex, & Your Marriage and Rethinking Sexuality. Debra Fileta—Creator of the #1 faith-based relationship advice blog TrueLoveDates.com and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life and Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love (among many others). We came together for a powerful discussion about helping wives awaken to intimate pleasure—such an essential and often overlooked topic. The wisdom and insights from these women were just incredible, and I cannot wait for you to hear this conversation. Here were some key takeaways from our panel discussion: The Challenge of Awakening Sexual Fulfillment For so many women, the journey toward enjoying sex in marriage isn't a simple switch—it's a process. If you've spent years saying "no"—whether because of purity culture, past wounds, or just never learning that sex is a gift—it makes sense that "yes" doesn't come easily. And you are not alone in this! How Husbands Can Help Their Wives Awaken to Pleasure Men, you've likely never been discipled in how to help your wife step into her own sexual enjoyment. Many husbands enter marriage assuming their wife will naturally embrace sex, but the reality is, she may feel lost, hesitant, or even afraid. This is where your role as her safe place matters deeply. Here are some questions that Debra suggested as conversation starters on sex: What's something you're looking forward to in our sex life? What's something that makes you nervous or unsure? What beliefs about sex do you want to hold onto, and what do you want to let go of? Overcoming the Weight of Purity Culture Many women who "did everything right" and waited for marriage still find themselves struggling. Why? Because purity culture often framed sex as something to avoid, not as a gift to embrace. As Juli Slattery puts it, "Just because I waited, doesn't mean I know how to start." That's the truth. And if this is you, grace upon grace, my friend. Sexual wholeness isn't about following a list of dos and don'ts. It's about stepping into the fullness of what God has given and allowing Him to reframe any distorted views we carry. The Power of Emotional & Spiritual Connection Debra Fileta says, "What you do above the sheets paves the way for what happens under the sheets." I could not agree more. Emotional and spiritual safety fuels physical intimacy. Husbands, if your wife doesn't feel safe, known, and whole-heartedly cherished, her body won't naturally respond to you with desire. So, before you think about sex, think about: Playfulness in everyday life (it builds intimacy!) How you affirm and admire her body How well she feels known and cherished by you It's Not About You, It's About Her A massive shift for many husbands is realizing that sex in marriage isn't just about "getting my needs met." If your wife doesn't feel safe, it's no wonder intimacy feels like a duty rather than a desire. You have an opportunity to disciple your heart in a new way. Instead of seeing your wife as the "acceptable outlet" for your sexual needs, ask: "How can I be the safest place for her to enjoy intimacy?" When she feels safe, she will want to engage. Not out of obligation, but because she feels free to. How to Move Toward More Desire in Marriage Wives, rather than wondering and praying, "Why am I broken?" for not wanting intimacy, instead ask, "How can I cultivate a desire for intimacy?" Some ideas: Non-sexual sensual touch with no pressure Playfulness in your daily life (This is huge!) Embracing a "turning a dial" rather than "flipping a switch" approach to intimacy    Addressing Past Trauma & Emotional Wounds Even in strong marriages, past sexual trauma or unhealthy conditioning can affect intimacy. And let's be real: just having a great marriage doesn't mean sex will be effortless. For some, the body's response to past wounds will still show up. That's okay. It's part of the journey. Healing takes time, patience, and sometimes outside help. If this is part of your story, give yourself permission to process what's needed. The Role of Faith & Hope in Sexual Fulfillment God is a God of hope. If your marriage has felt disconnected, there is hope. If you've never truly enjoyed sexual pleasure, there is hope. Your story isn't over. Pursue wholeness—emotionally, spiritually, and physically—and trust that intimacy can be more fulfilling than you ever imagined. Final Thoughts Husbands: Emotional and spiritual intimacy first, pleasure follows. Wives: You are not broken. Your pleasure matters. Both: Intimacy is a journey, not a destination. Keep taking steps, and trust that God is working in it all. Friend, you are not alone. Your marriage can grow, your desire can awaken, and your intimacy can thrive. Keep leaning in, keep growing, and keep trusting that God has more for you than you even realize. Be blessed! Love,   Belah & Team  

If you're looking for excellent books to add to your list for 2025, then you have come to the right place! In today's special recap episode, AJ shares her favorite reads from the past year, her top quotes from each book, and why you should put these titles on your reading list for 2025. Learn timeless lessons about growth and success in What Got You Here Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith and Take the Stairs by Rory Vaden. Uncover deep personal teachings on marriage and faith in Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. And dive deep on leadership and relationships in The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara. Tune in now to find out why each of these books should be on your reading list for 2025!

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates (our last “Quickie”), Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what's next—what do you do with all that's been shared in these 12 days of Quickie episodes. We also share some recommended resources to help you take the next step in your marriage and sexual intimacy. Questions to Discuss:Which episode of the 12 days of Quickies was most helpful to you?What's something you learned in this series that you want to apply in your marriage?Are there some concepts discussed in these episodes that would be good to discuss with community to help encourage and challenge each other? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaWebsite – Authentic IntimacyPodcast – Christian Sexuality – Java with JuliPodcasts – The Naked Marriage Podcast with Dave & Ashley Willis and Marriage on the Line with Dave & AshleyBook – A Celebration of Sex for Newlyweds, by Douglas RosenauBook - Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference, by Shaunti Feldhahn and Michael Sytsma

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some frequently asked questions about sex, including questions about cussing in the bedroom, sexual abuse, can I say “No,” sex during menstruation, and more. Scriptures:1 Corinthians 7:1-5Hebrews 13:4Ephesians 4:29  Questions to Discuss:How do you handle it in your marriage when one of you is in the mood for sex and the other isn't?Is there any part of your past/your story that would be helpful to discuss a counselor or doctor to get some help and guidance?What questions do you still have about sex and marriage? Email them in to marriage@harriscreek.org for future episodes. Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaWebsite – Authentic IntimacyMinistry for those who have experienced sexual abuse – Courageous Hope at Harris CreekBook – Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault, by Justin & Lindsey Holcomb

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss a frequently asked question about orgasms—for him, for her, and the elusive unicorn of mutual orgasm. We also discuss some common differences between the male and female orgasm.  Questions to Discuss:Have you and your spouse discussed your expectations about how to please each other?How can you take one step to help your spouse reach orgasm?How do you do in giving feedback to each other in the bedroom? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaPodcast – The Naked Marriage Podcast – Should We Orgasm Together?Website – Authentic Intimacy

In 2024, AJ committed to reading two books every month of the year, a tradition she's been building on for three consecutive years! Today, she shares her most influential books for 2024, how they have shaped her outlook, and why you might want to check them out yourself. Discover why Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara is required reading for the entire Brand Builders Group team; how Gary Thomas's Sacred Marriage has deepened AJ's understanding of what it means to be married; what The Go-Giver by Bob Burg teaches readers about learning through relationships; why AJ decided to revisit Take the Stairs, written by her husband, Rory Vaden; and why What Got You Here Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith is essential reading for anyone ready to level up. Regardless of whether you decide to read these books in the coming year, ask yourself, ‘Am I implementing what I've learned, and how can I use it to create real change in my life?' Don't miss out on this inspiring conversation with AJ Vaden on her top books and lessons from 2024!

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss a frequently asked question— how followers of Christ should think about and make decisions about birth control. What does the Bible say and how Christians should think about birth control. Scriptures:Psalm 127:3Romans 12:21 Cor 6:19-20 Questions to Discuss:Have you and your spouse discussed your views about birth control?Take some time to pray about what God would have you do regarding birth control. Do some research about birth control and discuss with your doctor and your community as needed. Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaPodcast – More Than Roommates Episode 42 – When's the Right Time to Grow Your Family?Website – Authentic Intimacy

How do you know if you've found “the one”? And what do you do, if you've never even been asked out on a date? Dr. Gary Thomas provides singles with meaningful advice on how you can find a good, godly spouse.

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some common myths and stereotypes about sex drive, desire, and frequency and some potential differences between men and women.  Questions to Discuss:What's the biggest challenge you face in your marriage related to sex drive, desire, and frequency?Have a conversation with your spouse about the topics raised in this episode. Make sure you listen well and seek to understand. Resources:Book – Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference, by Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael SytsmaBook – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaPodcast – Married with Benefits (FamilyLife Network)Website – Authentic Intimacy

How do you know if you've found “the one”? And what do you do, if you've never even been asked out on a date? Dr. Gary Thomas provides singles with meaningful advice on how you can find a good, godly spouse.

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss common challenges couples face with sexual intimacy. These challenges (such as past abuse and trauma, physical pain, guilt and shame) are more common than we might realize, and if you're struggling, you are not alone! Scriptures:Romans 8:1Genesis 32 Cor 5:17 Questions to Discuss:What's been the biggest challenge the two of you have faced in sexual intimacy?Who can you connect with to discuss any issues/challenges you face/could face when it comes to sexual intimacy? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaWebsite – Authentic Intimacy

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how sex changes in different seasons of marriage – newlyweds, with a newborn, with kids in the house, empty nest, and everything in between. Scriptures:1 Peter 3:7Genesis 2:25Song of Solomon Questions to Discuss:How can you best serve each other in marriage and sexual intimacy in your current season of marriage?What's one challenge you anticipate in the season ahead and how can you proactively address some of the potential challenges? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss whether or not it's within bounds to “have a quickie.” We discuss different ways to think about sex depending on your schedule and margin, and how to have a healthy rhythm of intimacy.  Questions to Discuss:1. Are you and your spouse on the same page when it comes to quickies?2. How can you make space for more extended time for intimacy together? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaThe Naked Marriage Podcast

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss specific questions of what's in and out of bounds in the bedroom. What does the Bible say about specific questions such as pornography, masturbation, positions, oral sex, and so much more.  Scriptures:Hebrews 13:41 Cor 6:18Ephesians 5:3MT 5:27-281 Cor 10:31 Questions to Discuss:1. What are some ways you can honor your spouse and serve them in the bedroom? Discuss with one another.2. Take a few moments to pray and ask God to help you honor God and your spouse when it comes to what's in bounds and out of bounds. Pray for grace, patience, and tenderness with one another. Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss some general principles of what's in bounds and out of bounds in the bedroom. Sex cannot involve others besides your spouse (Matthew 5:27-28), cannot involve willingly hurting your spouse against their will (Philippians 2:3-4), and cannot violate your or your spouse's conscience (Romans 14). Come back tomorrow as we get even more specific. Scriptures:MT 5:27-28Phil 2:3-4Rom 14 Questions to Discuss:1. Have you and your spouse ever discussed what's in bounds and out of bounds in your bedroom?2. Take a few moments to pray and ask God to help you honor God and your spouse when it comes to what's in bounds and out of bounds. Pray for grace, patience, and tenderness with one another. Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

Let's talk about Sex! In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the importance of talking about sexual intimacy in marriage and why couples often struggle to discuss sex. Part of the reason why so many couples struggle in their sex life is because they don't talk about it. Scriptures:Genesis 2:25Ephesians 4:29 Questions to Discuss:How do you and your spouse do at talking about sexual intimacy? Why is it sometimes challenging for you and your spouse to discuss sexual intimacy?How can you and your spouse create a marriage where you are fully known and fully loved?One of the best ways to help you communicate more effectively about sex is to read a book about sex together. We highly recommend the book Married Sex by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta.Write down 2-3 adjectives about how you feel about sex and marriage. Share your responses with your spouse. There's no wrong answer! Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

In this mini episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott kick-off a series of “quickies” about sex and the most frequently asked questions about marital sex and intimacy. In this first episode we discuss a Christian, biblical theology of sex—we want to help you think rightly about the gift of sex. Scriptures:Song of Solomon 1:2, 5:11 Corinthians 10:31Phil 2:3-4Genesis 2:24-25 Questions to Discuss:Why do you think that sex is so significant in marriage/to married couples?Do you believe God delights in you as a married couple when you're sexually intimate together? Resources:Book – Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

In his message, "Time Well Spent," Gary Thomas spoke at Cherry Hills Community Church about how the relentless pursuit of worldly desires—what he called "exploding wants"—leads to low life satisfaction and spiritual emptiness. He highlighted the dangers of chasing material gain or societal success, urging the congregation to seek fulfillment in a deeper relationship with God instead. By embracing gratitude, stewardship, and faith, Pastor Gary explained, we can counteract dissatisfaction and realign our priorities with God's eternal purpose. He concluded by encouraging listeners to resist the pull of consumerism and trust in God's sufficiency, where true and lasting satisfaction can be found.

What if witnessing miracles could transform your understanding of faith and unity? Join us on a spiritually enriching journey as we recount the miraculous events of a recent crusade in El Salvador. The Holy Ghost touched the lives of 1,150 individuals, and the restoration of sight for 1,034 blind individuals brought awe and inspiration. Bishop Hermudez and the dedicated National Church team showcased their unwavering commitment, fostering a powerful sense of togetherness and divine intervention among believers from across 15 states, 19 cities, and two countries.Marriage as a path to holiness might seem daunting, but what if it were a tool for spiritual growth and self-reflection? We explore how healthy conflict and love in relationships can lead us to a more Christ-like life. Drawing insights from Gary Thomas, we discuss how seeing our spouse as a mirror highlighting our weaknesses can be transformative. Through stories and thoughtful insights, we delve into the complexities of communication in marriage, especially when trauma is involved, and emphasize the importance of vulnerability, understanding, and the pursuit of sanctification.Communication remains the cornerstone of successful marriages, but how can we master it amidst daily challenges? Discover practical tools like the "wish list" method for expressing needs assertively, and the daily check-in to strengthen your connection. With insights from the Dear Young Married Couples podcast, we explore how regular conversations can prevent misunderstandings and nurture a healthier relationship. As we wrap up, we express gratitude for our communal spirit, encouraging continued growth and engagement in personal and shared spiritual journeys. Join us next week as we continue to explore these transformative topics.

Gary Thomas shares his passion for helping Christians see the enormous spiritual value of physical wellbeing. He takes discussion of fitness off the backburner - where many of us tend to leave it! Receive the book Every Body Matters for your donation of any amount! Family Fitness Healthy Individuals Create Healthy Marriages Healthy Eating Habits for Kids If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

Gary Thomas shares his passion for helping Christians see the enormous spiritual value of physical wellbeing. He takes discussion of fitness off the backburner - where many of us tend to leave it! Receive the book Every Body Matters and an audio download of "Understanding the Spiritual Impact of Healthy Living" for your donation of any amount! Get More Episode Resources If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.

Gary Thomas shares his passion for helping Christians see the enormous spiritual value of physical wellbeing. He takes discussion of fitness off the backburner - where many of us tend to leave it! Receive the book Every Body Matters and an audio download of "Understanding the Spiritual Impact of Healthy Living" for your donation of any amount! Get More Episode Resources If you've listened to any of our podcasts, please give us your feedback.