Podcasts about Harville

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Best podcasts about Harville

Latest podcast episodes about Harville

Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast
Healthy Romantic Relationships: Getting The Love You Want

Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2022 54:26


As we continue our conversation around Healthy Romantic Relationships, I am beyond excited to introduce today's guests, Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt.  They are authors of one of my favorite books, Getting the Love You Want.  Their book is so powerful because it's like therapy and coaching in a book, explaining why we fall in love with the personalities we do, the way our childhood wounds play out in our relationship disputes and my favorite, the vital need for a safe space to be vulnerable and share so that we can heal and grow in and through our intimate relationships.   Today's conversation will be like sipping from a firehose, so get out your pen and paper and be prepared to take notes! Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt are both Ph.D.s.  They are co-creators of Imago Relationship Therapy and a social movement called Safe Conversations. Internationally-respected as couple's therapists, educators, speakers, activists, and New York Times bestselling authors, their 10 books, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, have sold more than 4 million copies. Harville appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times! Helen was installed in the Women's Hall of Fame and the Smithsonian Institute. They have six children and seven grandchildren.   Free Giveaway: https://harvilleandhelen.com/podcast-offer/   How can our listeners find you? Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/harvilleandhelen Instagram @harvilleandhelen Twitter @harvillehelen Website: https://harvilleandhelen.com/     Request a Free Jump Start Call at https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/jumpstart   For more information on Journey Beyond Divorce visit:  www.jbddivorcesupport.com

What Women Must Know
What Women Must Know - Getting The Love You Want with Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D.

What Women Must Know

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2022 58:13


Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD., co-created Imago Relationship Therapy, a unique healing process for couples, prospective couples, and parents. Together they have more than thirty years' experience as educators and therapists and their work has been translated into more than 50 languages, with Imago practiced by over two thousand therapists worldwide. Harville and Helen have six children and live in New York and Dallas.  Dr. Hendrix and Dr. LaKelly Hunt are authors of the newly revised book, GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT ( which has helped many people have better and more satisfying relationships}.  Recommended by happy couples around the world, their book shows how to revive romance, remove negativity, and create safe ways to communicate that will completely transform your lives.     https://harvilleandhelen.com

Inner Voice - Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan
E248 - Inner Voice - Dr. Foojan Zeine chats with Dr. Harville Hendrix & Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt

Inner Voice - Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 18, 2022 31:49


Inner Voice – a Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan podcast. In this segment, Dr. Foojan chats with Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. co-creators of Imago Relationship Therapy and a social movement called Safe Conversations. Internationally respected as couple therapists, educators, speakers, activists, and New York Times bestselling authors, their 10 books, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, have sold more than 4 million copies. Harville appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times! Helen was installed in the Women's Hall of Fame and the Smithsonian Institute. Today we will be talking about their latest book: Doing Imago Relationship Therapy – In the space-Between. https://harvilleandhelen.com Check out my website: www.foojanzeine.com

Spirit, Purpose & Energy
Ep. 339: Tackling Loneliness

Spirit, Purpose & Energy

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2022 49:32


Applications Open for Empowerment Strategist Certification 2022 (2 slots left!) http://jjflizanes.com/cert   Roadmap to Emotional Healing Course in April LIVE http://jjflizanes.com/roadmap   Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times! Harville and Helen co-created Imago Relationship Therapy to promote the transformation of couples and families by a creating relational culture that support universal equality. In addition, they've developed resources that help couples, families, and educators strengthen their relationship knowledge and skills. They are the co-founders of Imago Relationships International, a non-profit organization that has trained over 2,000 therapists and educators in 51 countries around the world. https://harvilleandhelen.com/   http://imagorelationships.org   https://safeconversations.com/     Still Face Baby Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0   JJ Flizanes is an Empowerment Strategist and the host of several podcasts including People's Choice Awards nominee Spirit, Purpose & Energy. She is the Director of Invisible Fitness, a best-selling author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life and The Invisible Fitness Formula: 5 Secrets to Release Weight and End Body Shame. Named Best Personal Trainer in Los Angeles for 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine, JJ has been featured in many national magazines, including Shape, Fitness, and Women's Health as well as appeared on NBC, CBS, Fox, the CW and KTLA. Grab a free copy of the Invisible Fitness Formula at http://jjflizanes.com/book

Health & Wealth
Ep. 123: Tackling Loneliness

Health & Wealth

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2022 49:32


Applications Open for Empowerment Strategist Certification 2022 (2 slots left!) http://jjflizanes.com/cert   Roadmap to Emotional Healing Course in April LIVE http://jjflizanes.com/roadmap   Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times! Harville and Helen co-created Imago Relationship Therapy to promote the transformation of couples and families by a creating relational culture that support universal equality. In addition, they've developed resources that help couples, families, and educators strengthen their relationship knowledge and skills. They are the co-founders of Imago Relationships International, a non-profit organization that has trained over 2,000 therapists and educators in 51 countries around the world. https://harvilleandhelen.com/   http://imagorelationships.org   https://safeconversations.com/   Still Face Baby Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0   JJ Flizanes is an Empowerment Strategist and the host of several podcasts including People's Choice Awards nominee Spirit, Purpose & Energy. She is the Director of Invisible Fitness, a best-selling author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life and The Invisible Fitness Formula: 5 Secrets to Release Weight and End Body Shame. Named Best Personal Trainer in Los Angeles for 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine, JJ has been featured in many national magazines, including Shape, Fitness, and Women's Health as well as appeared on NBC, CBS, Fox, the CW and KTLA. Grab a free copy of the Invisible Fitness Formula at http://jjflizanes.com/book

Fit 2 Love Podcast with JJ Flizanes
Ep. 618: Tackling Loneliness

Fit 2 Love Podcast with JJ Flizanes

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2022 49:26


Applications Open for Empowerment Strategist Certification 2022 (2 slots left!) http://jjflizanes.com/cert   Roadmap to Emotional Healing Course in April LIVE   http://jjflizanes.com/roadmap     Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times! Harville and Helen co-created Imago Relationship Therapy to promote the transformation of couples and families by a creating relational culture that support universal equality. In addition, they've developed resources that help couples, families, and educators strengthen their relationship knowledge and skills. They are the co-founders of Imago Relationships International, a non-profit organization that has trained over 2,000 therapists and educators in 51 countries around the world. https://harvilleandhelen.com/   http://imagorelationships.org   https://safeconversations.com/     Still Face Baby Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0     JJ Flizanes is an Empowerment Strategist and the host of several podcasts including People's Choice Awards nominee Spirit, Purpose & Energy. She is the Director of Invisible Fitness, a best-selling author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life and The Invisible Fitness Formula: 5 Secrets to Release Weight and End Body Shame. Named Best Personal Trainer in Los Angeles for 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine, JJ has been featured in many national magazines, including Shape, Fitness, and Women's Health as well as appeared on NBC, CBS, Fox, the CW and KTLA. Grab a free copy of the Invisible Fitness Formula at http://jjflizanes.com/book

Nutrition & Alternative Medicine
Ep. 239: Tackling Loneliness

Nutrition & Alternative Medicine

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2022 49:36


Applications Open for Empowerment Strategist Certification 2022 (2 slots left!) http://jjflizanes.com/cert   Roadmap to Emotional Healing Course in April LIVE http://jjflizanes.com/roadmap   Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times! Harville and Helen co-created Imago Relationship Therapy to promote the transformation of couples and families by a creating relational culture that support universal equality. In addition, they've developed resources that help couples, families, and educators strengthen their relationship knowledge and skills. They are the co-founders of Imago Relationships International, a non-profit organization that has trained over 2,000 therapists and educators in 51 countries around the world. https://harvilleandhelen.com/   http://imagorelationships.org   https://safeconversations.com/   Still Face Baby Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0   JJ Flizanes is an Empowerment Strategist and the host of several podcasts including People's Choice Awards nominee Spirit, Purpose & Energy. She is the Director of Invisible Fitness, a best-selling author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life and The Invisible Fitness Formula: 5 Secrets to Release Weight and End Body Shame. Named Best Personal Trainer in Los Angeles for 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine, JJ has been featured in many national magazines, including Shape, Fitness, and Women's Health as well as appeared on NBC, CBS, Fox, the CW and KTLA. Grab a free copy of the Invisible Fitness Formula at http://jjflizanes.com/book

Women, Men & Relationships
Ep. 315: Tackling Loneliness

Women, Men & Relationships

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2022 49:37


Applications Open for Empowerment Strategist Certification 2022 (2 slots left!) http://jjflizanes.com/cert   Roadmap to Emotional Healing Course in April LIVE http://jjflizanes.com/roadmap   Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times! Harville and Helen co-created Imago Relationship Therapy to promote the transformation of couples and families by a creating relational culture that support universal equality. In addition, they've developed resources that help couples, families, and educators strengthen their relationship knowledge and skills. They are the co-founders of Imago Relationships International, a non-profit organization that has trained over 2,000 therapists and educators in 51 countries around the world. https://harvilleandhelen.com/   http://imagorelationships.org   https://safeconversations.com/   Still Face Baby Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0   JJ Flizanes is an Empowerment Strategist and the host of several podcasts including People's Choice Awards nominee Spirit, Purpose & Energy. She is the Director of Invisible Fitness, a best-selling author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life and The Invisible Fitness Formula: 5 Secrets to Release Weight and End Body Shame. Named Best Personal Trainer in Los Angeles for 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine, JJ has been featured in many national magazines, including Shape, Fitness, and Women's Health as well as appeared on NBC, CBS, Fox, the CW and KTLA. Grab a free copy of the Invisible Fitness Formula at http://jjflizanes.com/book

Fais pas Chier_T'es Toxic ProMax
Dans son livre Le Couple, mode d'emploi, Harville Hendrix nous propose de prendre une feuille sur laquelle nous pouvons créer un tableau

Fais pas Chier_T'es Toxic ProMax

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 16, 2022 3:01


Will God answer your prayer if you don't end with, "In Jesus' name, Amen?" Learn what praying in the name of Jesus really means. I taught this week on the call of Abraham and the development of God's missionary call through the nation of Israel as they were responsible to communicate the truth of God to the cultures around them. They were given that great commission. The great commission didn't start in Matthew 28. It started with Abraham in Genesis 12 —the first three verses there —Abraham, chosen by God to raise up a nation who would then be God's priests to the world so that they would be a blessing to all of the nations. They had a unique role in the great monotheistic religion. The Jews were supposed to reflect morality to the world. Israel was to witness to the name of God. When they talked about the name of God and witnessing to God's name, that does not mean that they were to let everybody know what they called God, "Yahweh." Their goal wasn't to cover the countryside with evangelists who just let everybody know what the right word for God was. It meant something different. ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ https://linktr.ee/jacksonlibon --------------------------------------------------- -------------------------- #face #instagram #amour #take #couple #garden #tiktok #psychology #beyou #near #love #foryou #money #ForYouPizza #fyp #irobot #theend #pups #TikToker #couplegoals #famille #relation #doudou #youtube #twitter #tiktokers #love #reeĺs #shorts #instagood #follow #like #ouy #oyu #babyshark #lilnasx #girl #happybirthday #movie #nbayoungboy #deviance #autotrader #trading #khan #academy #carter #carguru #ancestry #accords #abc #news #bts #cbs #huru #bluebook #socialmedia #whatsapp #music #google #photography #memes #marketing #india #followforfollowback #likeforlikes #a #insta #fashion #k #trending #digitalmarketing #covid #o #snapchat #socialmediamarketing

Better Relationships, Better Life
Episode 010: Oprah and the Pioneers of Connection Beyond Conflict

Better Relationships, Better Life

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2022 41:43


Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt Better Relationships, Better Life with Judy K. Herman Episode 010: Oprah and the Pioneers of Connection Beyond Conflict Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times! The pair are also the co-creators of Imago Relationship Theory & Therapy, as well as Safe Conversations®, an organization that contributes to the creation of a relational culture through the distribution of new insights from the relational sciences.   Listen to this insightful interview with Harville and Helen on Better Relationships, Better Life, :   Here is what to expect on this week's show: ●    You'll hear light-hearted conversations about Harville and Helen's influence on Judy as an Imago Relationship therapist and how this interview brings out the “hidden” Oprah in her. Their first appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show was the program that won Oprah her first Emmy award!  ●    The definition of Imago Relationship Therapy, and how it can benefit not only couples, but also individuals, business partners, corporations, congregations, and more. ●    Helen shares how Harville was first in the history of the world to teach skills of dialogue. He was instrumental in the development of the relational sciences becoming teachable. ●    Living with wonder is a sign of brain health. Dialogue activates all of the lobes of the brain by creating structure to regulate emotions. ●    For those with mental illness, skills of dialogue can provide structure to slow down and calm the mental chaos. Everyone is seeking to be safe and connected. ●    The concept of sacred space between two people coincides with philosopher Martin Buber's “I - thou” vs. “I – it.” ●    Helen and Harville are currently working with Adrien Kennedy, former chair of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) https://nami.org/About-NAMI. She envisions the impact of dialogue on the world being powerful enough to end mental illness as we know it today. ●    Created by Harville and Helen in 1980, Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) is one of the most influential models of therapy in the world today, practiced in 63 countries by over 2,500 therapists! To find out more: 1.   If you're a therapist who wants training, or a couple who wants Imago Relationship therapy, go to https://imagorelationships.org/ 2.   Join the global social movement to bring Safe Conversations to the whole world by 2030. Go go to https://safeconversations.com/ 3.   Connect with Harville and Helen: WEBSITE: https://harvilleandhelen.com/ FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/harvilleandhelen TWITTER: https://twitter.com/HarvilleHelen INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/harvilleandhelen/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCf_6FDOjokkjsRkZJr-tcgA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Yipps Baseball Podcast
Hitting Coach JA Harville / Episode 77

The Yipps Baseball Podcast

Play Episode Play 36 sec Highlight Listen Later Feb 25, 2022 127:10


We're baccccckkkkkkkkkk! What a hilarious episode this week.  We start with an update on the lockout and explain why this whole thing is just a business transaction.  We move into calling Joey Gallo a fraud for wanting to ban the shift because he can't hit.  Speaking of hitting, our interview this week is with JA Harville.  He is a hitting coach that works with hitters of all ages, and works with professional guys (Tyler Miller & Ethan Hearn) too.  We also cover the idea of eating meat whistles for breakfast.  Lastly, we end the episode with the Starting 5 Draft of Breakfast foods for Breakfast that are not Breakfast Foods.Thanks for listening!

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
ERP 303: How To Create Safe Conversations — An Interview With Drs Harville Hendrix & Helen Hunt

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2022 50:49


In this episode, we'll discuss an often overlooked skill that is so simple yet has a significant impact on how we negotiate relationships. We'll also talk about some tools and practices that can help us turn our disagreements into meaningful connections with our partners. Dr. Harville Hendricks and Dr. Helen Hunt are co-creators of Imago Relationship Therapy, and a social movement called Safe Conversations. Internationally respected as couple's therapist, educators, speakers, activist, and New York Times bestselling authors. Their 10 books, including the timeless classic Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, have sold more than 4 million copies. Harville appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show 17 times! Helen has been installed in the Women's Hall of Fame and the Smithsonian Institute. The list goes on and on. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 3:56 What safe conversation is and why it's important in building a healthy relationship. 12:58 How these safe conversations in the Imago Dialogue process help the relational culture. 28:19 Simple practices to remind us to value our partners, that they matter, and that we adore them. 39:13 The structure of the Imago Dialogue process: mirroring, validating, and empathizing. 42:54 What the on-duty, off-duty days are and how Helen and Harville use this method to make sure that they are connected when they go to bed. Mentioned Imago Relationship Therapy Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples Helen LaKelly Hunt - National Women's Hall of Fame Meet a Philanthropist - A Conversation With Helen LaKelly Hunt | National Museum of American History The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) Still Face Experiment: Dr. Edward Tronick Doing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space-Between: A Clinician's Guide Connect with Harville and Helen Websites: Harville and Helen and Safe Conversations Facebook: facebook.com/harvilleandhelen Twitter: twitter.com/HarvilleHelen YouTube: Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt Instagram: instagram.com/harvilleandhelen/ Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

The Messy Walk Podcast
45: Finding Your “Christmas Spirit” With Bay Harville

The Messy Walk Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2021


Christmas can be a difficult time of year for many different reasons. But how do we refocus our hearts and minds on what Christmas is really supposed to be about? Join us on this episode of the Messy Walk Podcast as we hear from special guest Bay Harville. Bay shares with us how Christmas has […]

Speaking 4 Profit Podcast
Ep 17 - Crafting a Fool-Proof Speaking Engagement Dynamic with India Harville

Speaking 4 Profit Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 11, 2021 17:35


“One thing that was really key for me was learning that I could have a choice about who I was going to work for, and that as much as I was being interviewed by them, like I needed to be interviewing them, and making sure that it felt like a right fit.” - India Harville     Welcome to Speaking 4 Profit, where your voice is your power! I'm Evolve Benton and for this Speakers Room Live episode, we have India Harville to discuss how she managed to create an effective work dynamic for speaking engagements and the strategic planning it takes to exceed your goals.   India earned her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology at the New College of Florida and her Master of Arts in Integrative Health Studies at the California Institute of Integral Studies. Whatever she is doing — practicing, performing, teaching — she is setting forth an example, that however our bodies show up the world, they are perfect, worthy of existence, and capable of magic. As a Disability Justice consultant, public speaker, somatics practitioner, and performance artist, India Harville has made it her mission to open people's minds to the wonder of their own bodies. She works diligently to foster a sense of the body as a vehicle for growth and transformation, both personal and collective. An African American, queer, disabled/chronically ill, femme, cis woman, she has experienced health issues since infancy. It was only in 2011, however, that she embraced her disabled identity in a political sense. That was a major move forward for her, coalescing her identity into its form today – an identity that informs all of her work, each of its components shaping her voice and her message. For more than twenty years, India has equipped non-profits, corporations, and universities with the tools and insights that they need to move into a wider and fuller concept of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI).    [00:01 - 05:18] Establishing Work Dynamic on Speaking Gigs Get to know India Harville Disability justice consultant and crafting accessible dance performance pieces The power of technology It is important to utilize modern tools to show up in different spaces. Discovering the speaking engagement dynamic India shares her experience of realizing being underpaid. Work on systems Founded upon freedom   [05:19 - 14:05] Exceeding Your Goals: The Three Points to Scale  Three points to scaling in the speaking business You have a choice of what to participate in. Interviewing goes both ways Consider your pre-plans. Hype up your self-care game. Make things easy and streamlined. Getting things in place Goals and strategic planning Negotiating is key. This makes you hit your actual goals. The value of reaching out The mindset to exceed the goal Preparation for future participants You will get to meet some amazing people. Networking and support would be incredible. Set aside schedules [14:06 - 17:35] Final Thoughts   Connect with India Harville – leave a review and comment (links below) Closing thoughts and advice from Spencer and Evolve  Key Quotes:   “It's important for us to show up in different spaces and to use the power of technology for that.” - Evolve Benton   “It's really about this freedom, this ability to take care of ourselves, to love ourselves, and love the people that value us.” - Evolve Benton   Connect with India! Website: https://www.embracedbody.com/about  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/embracedbody1  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/embracedbody1/  Twitter: https://twitter.com/embracedbody  Connect with Me! Join our Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/speaking4profitacademy Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/speaking4profit/ Visit my website https://www.evolvebenton.com/  Follow me on Instagram @EvolveBenton   LEAVE A REVIEW + and help someone discover the power in their voice by sharing this episode or click here to listen to our previous episodes. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review!

The Relationship School Podcast
Reflections on Relationships & COVID From Two Relationship Elders - Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen Hunt - 369

The Relationship School Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 17, 2021 78:06


You gotta admire those older couples who have been married for a billion years and still seem blissfully happy. It seems pretty amazing and inspiring. But if you ask them, they'll surely tell you they've had their issues—maybe even some significant ones. In this week's episode, I talk to Harville and Helen, who have been married for quite a while, but they almost got divorced. They've been teaching couples how to do relationships for many years—and learning a ton as they go. Listen to the episode to hear the valuable ground they cover and how they reversed their decision to divorce.   Useful Links: https://harvilleandhelen.com/ https://safeconversations.com/ http://relationshipschool.com/connected/ http://relationshipschool.com/training/ https://www.gettingtozerobook.com/

LOVELINK
Ep 36 — Harville Hendrix, PhD and Helen LaKelly Hunt PhD — Imago Relationship Therapy

LOVELINK

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2021 54:33


Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are the creators of Imago Relationship Therapy, a popular form of couples therapy centered around helping couples learn to dialogue with each other in ways that build safety and connection. In this interview, Harville and Helen talk about how they developed Imago and share how they were able to use the model to reconnect in their own marriage. They talk about how childhood influences who we chose to partner with, accepting and working with the differences that exist between individuals in a relationship, and how our brains change in secure love. They also explain and role-play the structured dialogue they have developed to help couples navigate difficult moments. After you listen to the interview, be sure to check out their new book, Doing Imago Relationship Therapy – In the Space Between, packed with practical relationship guidance grounded in the science of love. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/lovelink/support

The Soul of Life
Imago Couplehood: Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt

The Soul of Life

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 13, 2021 44:51


Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt are the founders of Imago Relationship Therapy, a paradigm-changing and pioneering model of couples therapy that helped revolutionize the way psychotherapists view couples and the nature of healing. Imago uses the lens of attachment-theory—the idea that, neurobiologically, we belong to one other and are expertly equipped to heal each other's trauma from our earliest attachments in life. Harville and Helen teach that by being aware of and reflective of these attachment patterns couples can have a "conscious relationship" that is able to transform conflict into a blueprint for growth. They have written over 10 books, including three New York Times bestsellers. Harville has appeared as a featured guest 17 times on The Oprah Winfrey Show. They are the co-founders of Imago Relationships International, a non-profit organization that has trained thousands of therapists and educators in 51 countries around the world. Check out my Mini-Course for couples. Learn more about my 7-week, live, online basic mindfulness and IFS course for couples called Mindful Marriage  Join my Facebook Group. Learn about my current contest giveaway (ends 10/5/21) of a resort vacation for two to Esalen Resort in Big Sur, CA. My Book, Love Under Repair: How to Save Your Marriage and Survive Couples Therapy  My Counseling Practice. Follow us on Facebook ​ or Twitter. Want to book Keith as a guest on your podcast? Contact him at keith@souloflifeshow.com.

The Soul of Life
BONUS EPISODE: S3E3 Preview - Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt

The Soul of Life

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 9, 2021 2:34


In this preview of Episode 3 of Season 3 (releasing on 8/13/21), Drs. Harville Hendrix, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, are the founders of Imago Relationship Therapy, a paradigm-changing and pioneering model of couples therapy that helped revolutionize the way psychotherapists view couples and the nature of healing through the lens of attachment-theory—the idea that, in a sense, we belong to one other and are expertly equipped to heal each other's trauma from our earliest attachments in life, by having a conscious relationship that is able to transform conflict into a blueprint for growth. They have written over 10 books, including three New York Times bestsellers. Harville has appeared as a featured guest 17 times on The Oprah Winfrey Show. They are the co-founders of Imago Relationships International, a non-profit organization that has trained thousands of therapists and educators in 51 countries around the world. Want to book Keith as a guest on your podcast? Contact him at keith@souloflifeshow.com. ***7-Week Stress Reduction & Relationship Growth Course*** If you and your significant other are looking for ways to improve communication and strengthen your partnership, there is still time to enroll in my upcoming live 7-Week Mindfulness and IFS course, called Mindful Marriage. Partners of any kind are welcome. It's a one-of-a-kind offering that can truly transform how you show up in intimacy. For more information visit: https://community.souloflifeshow.com/  

The Curious One
058: An Honest Conversation About Relationships | Devon Ash & Stephanie Chevrier (Tell Me Often)

The Curious One

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2021 80:31


Hello Friends! Wow I am so honoured to bring you this raw, honest and vulnerable conversation.. I first stumbled upon the Instagram page Tell Me Often a few months ago and I was struck by how true their page was. It was only a matter of time until I had them on the podcast! So in today's episode I sit down with Devon and Steph to have an honest conversation about relationships.During our conversation we covered:the evolution of their relationshipthe importance of individuality within our relationshipssocieties projection of romance and the effect it has on usthe inspiration behind their platform Tell Me Oftenhow to maintain lust / attraction in long term relationshipshow to navigate conflict or difficult conversationshow our relationships can be a container for self-development and healingvulnerability hangoversthe role or impact that jealousy has in our relationshipsresources and experiences that have impacted how Dev and Steph view relationships Connect with me on Instagram: @thecuriousonepodcastCheck out my website: www.thecuriousonepodcast.comLearn more about Dev & Steph on their platform @tellmeoftenMENTIONED:THE CURIOUS ONE: Why Do I Feel So Uncomfortable Talking About Sex? // Natalie Vandenberg VIVID Psychology & WellnessTHE CURIOUS ONE: How To Love // Becca Shern (Minimal Wellness)THE CURIOUS ONE: Polyamory // Lindsay DixonBooks:Getting the Love You Want by Harville and HelenThe Assertiveness Workbook by Randy J. PatersonThe Journey From Abandonment to Healing by Susan AndersonAttached by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller

Culture Monster
Episode 12: "Papa" Bach & Grant Harville

Culture Monster

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2021 49:03


Episode 12: A chat with Grant Harville | “Papa Bach” I speak with Grant Harville about making music in the heart of Montana, and make a recommendation for your next visit to Hamburg Germany.    LINKS Minitur Wonderland, Hamburg: https://www.miniatur-wunderland.com   Watch the world record wining train performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBNHmUT3GPg&t=17s Behind the scenes of the trick: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfNEzpjY2Ho   “The Motherland hears the Motherland Knows” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uacEN-JtB9Q   Grant Harville is the Music Director of the Great Falls Symphony, Great Falls Montana. https://www.gfsymphony.org https://www.grantharville.com   De Boek Symphony in G: https://music.apple.com/ca/album/boeck-symphony-violin-concerto/19447673   Julia Perry Short Piece for Orchestra: https://music.apple.com/ca/album/short-piece-for-orchestra/554425306?i=554425313   Andrew Norman “Play”: https://music.apple.com/ca/album/andrew-norman-play/951454831   excerpts of Bach performed by Jeremy Brown and Su Jeon from the album “Ornamentology” https://music.apple.com/ca/album/ornamentology/1530844818   https://open.spotify.com/album/7GzcuF70VNOkYlYy7kRXJQ   Support the podcast at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/culturemonster see the complete Culture Monster Archvie at: https://www.culturemonster.ca Published June 2021

Something You Should Know
SYSK Choice: Optimize Your Memory & How to Get the Love You Want

Something You Should Know

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 5, 2021 46:38


Have you heard the advice that couples should have a date night. That’s common advice to help keep the romance alive in long term relationships. But interestingly, “couple time” is not the highest quality time couples can have. In fact it doesn’t even come in second. Listen as I explain another way couples can spend their time that is much more beneficial and rewarding. https://www.businessinsider.com/double-dates-improve-relationship-2018-2 Do you know how to make your memory work to your advantage? If you have ever had your memory fail at exactly the wrong time, listen to my guest Michael Tipper, author of the book Instant Recall (https://amzn.to/2X00YPv). Michael won the silver medal in the World Memory Championship by remembering 9 decks of playing cards in order! He joins me to offer some excellent techniques to help you understand and use your memory to your best advantage. You know that little front pocket that sits inside the big front pocket on blue jeans? Do you know why it is there and what it is for? The idea for that pocket came from Levi Strauss and when you listen you will hear what the original intended use was – which by the way is pretty much obsolete today. http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/fashion/what-that-little-pocket-in-your-jeansis-really-for-a6828141.html There are a lot of people in relationships who are not getting what they want from their partner. Why is that? What happens in relationships that results in that seemingly inevitable path of negativity, criticism and conflict – and how do you fix it? Harville Hendrix has been working with couples for a long time to help them break free from the negativity that so often takes over in long term relationships. Harville is a practicing therapist and author of several books including the newly revised version of Getting the Love You Want (https://amzn.to/2IbSbXq) which was a huge bestseller when it first came out several years ago. He joins me to reveal what causes relationships to go off-track and how to instantly change how couples interact so the negativity stops. PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! We really enjoy The Jordan Harbinger Show and we think you will as well! There’s just SO much here. Check out https://jordanharbinger.com/start for some episode recommendations, OR search for The Jordan Harbinger Show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts.  Save time, money, and stress with Firstleaf – the wine club designed with you in mind! Join today and you’ll get 6 bottles of wine for $29.95 and free shipping! Just go to https://tryfirstleaf.com/SOMETHING https://nuts.com is the simple and convenient way to have nutritious, delicious, healthy nuts, dried fruit, flours, grains and so many other high-quality foods delivered straight to your door! New Nuts.com customers get free shipping on your first order when you text SYSK to 64-000. So text SYSK to 64-000 to get free shipping on your first order from Nuts.com With Grove, making the switch to natural products has never been easier! Go to https://grove.co/SOMETHING and choose a free gift with your 1st order of $30 or more! Go Daddy lets you create your website or store for FREE right now at https://godaddy.com Go to https://RockAuto.com right now and see all the parts available for your car or truck. Write SOMETHING in their “How did you hear about us?” box so they know we sent you! Discover matches all the cash back you earn on your credit card at the end of your first year automatically and is accepted at 99% of places in the U.S. that take credit cards! Learn more at https://discover.com/yes https://www.geico.com Bundle your policies and save! It's Geico easy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

WKYT News
Newsmakers 4/25: Kentucky Lottery President Mary Harville; EKU President Dr. David McFaddin

WKYT News

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 23, 2021 26:44


On the latest episode of Kentucky Newsmakers, WKYT’s Bill Bryant talks with President of the Kentucky Lottery Mary Harville and Eastern Kentucky University President Dr. David McFaddin.

Savannah Bananas: Unpeeled
Lance Harville-Thomas, Professional Bananas Everywhere You Look, & MLB Opening Weekend

Savannah Bananas: Unpeeled

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2021 48:42


The winner of the Fans' Vote to make the Bananas Premier Team, "Bubba" Lance Harville-Thomas talks about his nerve-racking journey to being a Banana, his heroic opening statement in kilts, and the wild ride that was the Spring Series (1:25). Berry and Biko talk about the numerous Premier Team players who are already signed to play more professional baseball this summer and offer their thoughts on the first series of Major League Baseball in which the Braves and Yankees went a combined 1-5 (35:03). 

Boss Mamas Mindset
Romance, kids and a global pandemic - lessons learned

Boss Mamas Mindset

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 12, 2021 26:08


In honor of Valentine's Day, I wanted to share a special episode with you where I get real about the hardest lessons I've learned when it comes to romance, kids and working through challenging changes like a global pandemic. I discuss things like setting and maintaining BOUNDARIES, how to stop being OVERLY CRITICAL, neutralizing your EXPECTATIONS and balancing your FEMININE and MASCULINE energy. I believe it's possible to find space for romance with little kids even in the middle of a major event like COVID-19. However, I can't promise it will be easy or that there is ONE quick fix. If there is anything I've learned after being with my partner for almost 9 years, it all boils down to being open to giving and receiving UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. To some this might sound cheesy, yet hear me out. I am not saying that there won't be moments where you feel everything but unconditional love for your partner. What I'm talking about is the INTENTION you have for your relationship. The intention stems from your MINDSET and it shapes your BELIEFS, VALUES, BEHAVIORS and ultimately what you SEE show up in your relationship. In short, I have learned to take 100% ACCOUNTABILITY for what I experience in my relationship. This is the REAL work. It is easier to blame the other person or highlight all their shortcomings, it is another thing to recognize your part. When both people are committed to unconditional love, it becomes a journey of finding a way to appropriately express and ask for what you desire (in the right tone and time) which requires a healthy balance of giving and receiving. Tune in to hear more about my intentions when it comes to my relationship (including my fave mantra) and how my husband and I have been growing through this wonderful (and challenging) journey of parenting as partners. I hope this offers you new perspective as it pertains to your own relationships as well as ideas on steps you can take to create more romance despite any of the chaos going on around you. Resources you may find supportive on your relationship journey: Imago Dialogue by Dr. Harville and Helen Hendrix - read 3 Keys to Getting the Love You Want on my blog Goddess Ishtar - Goddess of boundaries "Love yourself enough to say no to others' demands on your time and energy." Brené Brown with Drs. John and Julie Gottman on What Makes Love Last Good Boundaries Free You - Ted X Talk by Sarri Gilman The SARAH curve / change model ****Disclaimer:This is not advice that will fit everyone's situation. If you are experiencing an abusive relationship, please seek professional help. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/laura-kyttanen/support

Flip Your Lid with Kim Honeycutt
Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen Hunt

Flip Your Lid with Kim Honeycutt

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 9, 2021 55:08


Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are co-creators of https://imagorelationships.org/ (Imago Relationship Therapy) and a social movement called https://safeconversations.com/ (Safe Conversations). Internationally-respected as couple's therapists, educators, speakers, activists, and New York Times bestselling authors, their 10 books, including the timeless classic, https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Love-You-Want-Anniversary/dp/0805087001 (Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples), have sold more than 4 million copies. Harville appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times! Helen was installed in the Women's Hall of Fame and the Smithsonian Institute. Watch and read more at flipyourlidpodcast.com

Don't Mom Alone Podcast
Safe Conversations :: Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt [Ep 309]

Don't Mom Alone Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2021 46:58


Harville Hendrix, PhD and his wife Helen Hunt, PhD have been helping couples for years as therapists, authors and speakers. They are on a mission to share the concepts of safe conversations with the world. They join me to share how their method can help us have more effective in-depth conversations with our spouse and children. This works every time. It works with parents, with children and couples. It is something that we now know scientifically that if you mirror another person back accurately and with warmth and no judgment, something will happen inside of them. Something marvelous. They model a safe conversation for us and offer a lot of encouragement and hope for couples who are struggling and how “Conflict is future growth waiting to happen.” Harville and Helen have an amazing offer for DMA listeners. Use code DMA on their site at safeconversations.com to get 50% off your choice of SC Essentials or the Ultimate Couples Bundle, both courses will receive free tickets to a live workshop of your choice, a $196 value. Connect with Harville & Helen:  Website:  https://harvilleandhelen.com  Facebook: facebook.com/harvilleandhelen  Instagram:  @harvilleandhelen  Links Mentioned:   Safe Conversations courses: https://safeconversations.com Featured Sponsors: BetterHelp-- visit betterhelp.com/DMA to get 10% off your first month of professional therapy. Warby Parker--Try 5 pairs of glasses at home for free. Go to warbyparker.com/DMA.

Drop Your Baggage with Charles Woolfork
Drop Your Baggage #4 - TJ Harville

Drop Your Baggage with Charles Woolfork

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2020 27:46


TJ is a chef whose anger can turn his workplace into Hell's Kitchen. The high stakes and standards of excellence is a hot bed for tempers to flare. However, TJ wants to start a new culture amongst his fellow chefs. Listen as TJ enhances his kindness and compassion for his staff after he goes through the Mental and Emotional Release process. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/charleswoolfork/support

Love Intently Podcast with Sophie Kwok
Why Unconditional Love is One of the Best Defenses Against COVID-19 with Helen and Harville Hendrix, World Renowned Couples’ Therapists and Bestselling Authors

Love Intently Podcast with Sophie Kwok

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2020 38:35


Why is it that things are so great in the beginning stages of falling in love, but then can turn so sour? - Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times! - However, Harville and Helen are no strangers to marital problems. In fact, their marriage almost ended before they began to practice what they preach. Their marriage is now stronger than ever, and they can save any marriage with their simple methods. - We are honored to have Harville and Helen on the Love Intently Podcast for a second time! You can listen to their first episode where we go more in-depth into their marriage journey and struggles here. - For their second time on the Love Intently podcast, we discuss: -The psychology and science behind who we fall in love with and why -The science behind why the best defense against COVID-19 is actually unconditional love -The three simple methods that are proven to save any marriage -How these methods can also be applied to strengthen your children’s emotional resilience -How to expand the application of these methods to outside of our homes and into the world at large to create safer, more understanding conversations with people of different races, religions, sexual orientations, cultures, etc. -The pivotal learning Helen realized that saved their marriage -How you can work with Harville and Helen through couples’ workshops or getting trained to teach others how to have safe conversations For full show notes and resources: https://www.loveintently.com/podcast - Connect and Work with Harville and Helen Hendrix: https://www.harvilleandhelen.com Save Conversations Facilitator Trainings: https://harvilleandhelen.com/facilitator-trainings/ Couples workshops: https://harvilleandhelen.com/couples-workshops/ - Connect with Sophie and Love Intently https://loveintently.com Follow @love.intently on Instagram Follow @sophkwok on Instagram

SoulTalk with Kute Blackson
139: Harville & Helen - Getting The Love You Want

SoulTalk with Kute Blackson

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2020 60:44


"You will not be attracted to a person that will not frustrate you. Incompatibilities is the ground for a great relationship." Episode Summary: In this special episode, Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, internationally-respected couples therapists, will show us ways we can improve our intimate relationship through the art of loving communication. They will teach us the foundational steps to find your individual needs as well as your needs as a couple and how to communicate and express yourself in a way that will respect both you and your partner.    In This Episode You Will Learn: The 3 stages of every relationship and how to improve them.  The Repair Process: the important tool to create a safe conversation as a couple. How incompatibility can help you to find the love of your life.  How to understand your needs to keep a healthy and mature relationship. How to choose happiness and health over any circumstances and believe in love again. Some Questions That I Ask: What happens when we fall in love? How can we know what a real connection is?  What do you do when your dream relationship becomes a nightmare? How do couples begin to get their needs met in healthy ways? What is the repair process and how does it work? How can we manage the fear of losing oneself in a relationship?

SuperPsyched with Dr. Adam Dorsay
#29 Drs. Harville Hendrix And Helen Hunt | Getting the Love You Want

SuperPsyched with Dr. Adam Dorsay

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 28, 2020 48:00


Relationships with our significant others are often hard and even scary. What if there was a technology that could change all of that? The good news is that my guests, Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen Hunt (https://harvilleandhelen.com/) have created that technology and it's called “Safe Conversations.” (https://safeconversations.com/) I use this technology to help couples in my practice and I do the same in my personal life. Their classic book, “Getting the Love You Want,” which has sold over 4 million copies is one of the finest tools I have ever seen, and their work has made them internationally famous. Harville has been on the Oprah Winfrey Show 17 times and is such a favorite of hers that, upon her retirement, one of his episodes made it to the top-10 list of her all-time favorite shows. These are the people I believe you will want to learn from. My wife, Aurianne, who is also a psychologist, joined me at a 3-day workshop with Harville and Helen and we think the world of them and their Safe Conversations technology. So, listen in as Helen, Harville, and I talk about Safe Conversations and ways to supercharge your relationship in ways that can help you get the love you want.

Love Intently Podcast with Sophie Kwok
How to Heal and Create Conscious Love with Dr. Sarah Schewitz

Love Intently Podcast with Sophie Kwok

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 12, 2020 51:02


There are two buzzwords that have been thrown around in the realm of dating and relationships lately that are often misused: narcissism and codependency. How do you know if you are a narcissist or codependent? How do you know if you’re dating one? - Dr. Sarah Schewitz is a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, and founder of Couples Learn, a successful online therapy practice for individuals and couples wanting to work on love and relationships. She has been working with couples and individuals since 2008 and has advanced training in the areas of attraction, attachment, conflict management, communication, rebuilding trust after infidelity, and relationship satisfaction.  - In this episode of the Love Intently Podcast, we discuss: - -A dialogue framework for couples that allows each partner to understand and communicate their childhood wounds with each other that are being triggered, in order to create a more conscious relationship -What are the red flags to look out for in a partner that indicates you should walk away from the relationship -How to know if you’re in a codependent relationship or dating a narcissist -How codependents and narcissists are two sides of the same coin, and what core childhood wound they have in common -How can couples maintain their identities in a relationship, rather than losing themselves? -What is Dr. Sarah’s online couples therapy Couples Learn all about and why did she start it? -Resources and tools other than therapy that couples can use to become more conscious in their relationship - With endless tools and resources online these days, there’s really no excuse to not take the responsibility to own your own healing journey. Often times it’s not actually a problem for us to find love—the real problem is our inability to receive love, because we do not love ourselves. The more conscious we become of why that is, the sooner we can begin to heal it, and the sooner we can find and receive the healthy, secure love we deserve and desire! - For full show notes: https://www.loveintently.com/podcast - **Resources** Book: Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D. Love Intently Podcast Episode 21 with Harville and Helen: https://loveintently.com/blog/harville-and-helen/2019/1/30 - **Connect with Dr. Sarah Schewitz** https://coupleslearn.com/ Instagram: @coupleslearn - Connect with Love Intently https://loveintently.com Instagram: @love.intently Instagram: @sophkwok

The Save The Marriage Podcast
How to Get the Love You Want

The Save The Marriage Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2020 57:18


Why did you fall in love with your spouse?  Why do people fall in love with the person they fall in love? And perhaps even more importantly for our time together, why do those same relationships cause such pain? How can love turn painful and hurtful? Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt have been on the forefront of helping hurting marriages for decades.  In 1988, their seminal book, Getting The Love You Want, came out to great acclaim.  It was an international best-seller. In that book (now revised), Harville and Helen reveal their Imago Theory of why we fall in love, and why it can either be hurtful or healing.  They also provide exercises for couples to explore their own Imago relating, to help with healing and health. Some time ago, Harville and Helen gave me some of their time to share their thoughts and direction on how to create a loving relationship.  This interview was originally part of a special program.  But I decided to share it with you, because of the powerful information they shared. Listen below to discover how understanding your Imago and help heal your marriage. RELATED RESOURCES Book:  Getting The Love You Want Website for Harville and Helen What Happy Couples Know Series The Save The Marriage System

The Hustle Season Podcast
THS Presents: The SOS Podcast Ep. 7 Trans Edu w/ Dr. Harville

The Hustle Season Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2020 64:35


The SOS Podcast is back. They have their first guest on, Dr. Harville, who is a physical therapist. The Doc educates our hosts (Gabe and Gr8 Britt) on the surgery process for trans men and women undergoing sex reassignment surgery. They learn a lot. Also, Gabe tries to figure out digital love and some more porn talk. Check it out and wash your hands!

The Stormie Grace Astrology Podcast
RELATIONAL HOUSES WITH COLIN BEDELL

The Stormie Grace Astrology Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2020 53:02


Astrologer Colin Bedell and I discuss the Relational Houses (Houses 4-8) in Astrology. How to have healthy relationships based on what the signs of these houses need! Who rules your relational house and what are they looking for? BOOKS FROM THE SESSION LITERATURE "Attached" The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love. (2010) by Amir Levine, Rachel S.F. Heller "The Intentional Family: How To Build Family Ties In Our Modern World" (1999) by William H. Doherty The Gottman Institute "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are" (2010). Brene Brown. "Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence: (2006). Esther Perel 1."Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love." (2019). John and Julie Gottman. 2. "Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You've Always Wanted" (2014) Marcia Naomi Berger 1."Getting the Love You Want: A Guide questions like who, what, for Couples." (2007). Dr. Harville when, where, why and how. Hendrix. 2. "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships. (2015) Marshall Rosenberg CHECK OUT COLIN: https://www.queercosmos.com/ Bio: Colin Bedell is a queer Gemini Twin from Long Island, New York. He's a passionate student of secular personal-growth systems, and the universal spiritual themes explored in A Course in Miracles. Well & Good Magazine listed Colin as one of the most influential people in the wellness industry and as a 2020 Innovator. Complementing his work with QueerCosmos, Colin's the weekly horoscope writer for Cosmopolitan.com. His bestselling first book A Little Bit of Astrology from Sterling Publishers debuted November ‘18, his second book Queer Cosmos: The Astrology of Queer Identities & Relationships which launched last November was ranked the #1 Astrology book for beginners by the DailyDot magazine, and his third book Gemini by Sterling debuted January 2020. HOW TO FIND PLANETS IN YOUR CHART: https://youtu.be/EUgvbq-17sQ SOLSTICE GIFTS:https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11465551&appointmentType=15038734 CHECK OUT THE EAT & GREET COLLABORATIONS: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwL0zDMT3qCA8eEDFVfXZCBDik4OZ0jT7 FULL NATAL CHART-https://app.acuityscheduling.com/catalog.php?owner=11465551&action=addCart&id=167635 READY FOR A READING: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11465551&appointmentType=category:READINGS+%28LOOKING+AT+ONLY+1+PERSON%27S+CHART%29 BIRTHDAY (SOLAR RETURN) REPORT: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/catalog.php?owner=11465551&action=addCart&id=58786 FULL CHART ANALYSIS BY VIDEO: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/catalog.php?owner=11465551&action=addCart&id=248187 EMAIL READING- https://app.acuityscheduling.com/catalog.php?owner=11465551&action=addCart&id=144274 MONTH BY MONTH PERSONAL BREAKDOWN VIDEO-https://app.acuityscheduling.com/catalog.php?owner=11465551&action=addCart&id=169746 FACEBOOK-https://www.facebook.com/pages/Stormie-Grace/138693799515065?ref=hl FIND YOUR TRIBE GROUP ON FB: https://www.facebook.com/groups/232632710465654/ https://twitter.com/StormieGrace08 All my love everyone --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/stormie-grace/support

MS and SEX
Bonus Episode with India Harville

MS and SEX

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2020 14:42


Bonus! Here is an Embodiment Meditation guided by India Harville. I had a COVID-19 scare last week (YIKES!) and so I listened to my body and took a few days off. Drift away on the dulcet tones of India's voice, go back and listen to the second "Prolly Gonna Cut that Out" with Roz Dischiavo, and go to https://www.filmsforaction.org/watch/a-letter-from-the-virus-listen/ to watch a really beautiful short film that will give you hope. That should keep you busy until I have the full episode up in just a few days. Remember to rate, review and subscribe! Here's India's Website: www.lovingtheskinyouarein.com

The Rowing Podcast
Jan Harville - "The Soviets...they were huge."

The Rowing Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 8, 2020 38:19


I sit down with legendary coach Jan Harville to chat about her first summer training with the US Women's National team and the "water battle" with the Soviets in New Zealand.

Love University
IS YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE DRIVING YOU CRAZY DURING CORONAVIRUS? LEARN THE SECRETS OF HAPPY LOVE FROM OPRAH FAVORITES, DR. HARVILLE HENDRIX & DR. HELEN HUNT, AMERICA’S TOP MARRIAGE PSYCHOLOGISTS

Love University

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 2, 2020 43:14


Is your husband or wife driving you crazy during these difficult stay-at-home times? Now, there’s a way to create a happy love partnership with the breakthrough Imago technology of Drs. Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt, NY Times bestselling authors of the classic, “Getting the Love You Want.” We were fortunate to have this amazing married couple (together 40 years) on Love University as they educated us on how to heal childhood wounds and create a love that lasts a lifetime. Let’s take a look at their wisdom for happy long-term relationships, even in times of stress and turmoil:   *Make an appointment with your partner: Instead of reacting emotionally to something your partner said or did (“You’re a jerk”), slow down your (and your partner’s) emotional reflexes by asking, “Is this a good time to talk?” By doing so, both of you can get into your rational brain (cerebral cortex) instead of reacting from the emotional part (amygdala) that is reactive and defensive. This makes for safer and nonjudgmental communication that can help both of you feel better about each other and the relationship.   *Be each other’s therapists: Through Imago training with a competent practitioner, you can learn how to heal your and your partner’s childhood wounds. According to Imago, we tend to pick a love partner who has the positive and negative qualities of the parent we had the most difficulties with. Therefore, you might pick a cold man just like your distant father, or an overprotective woman like your emotionally unhealthy mother. The first step to develop a healthy relationship is for the partners to help each other discover their inner childhood wounds. Then, they can help each other heal through communication and hands-on exercises designed to process their feelings and get their needs met in a safe and nonjudgmental environment.   *Express Empathy and Compassion toward your partner. In a set of structured communication Imago exercises, you can express empathy and compassion toward your mate by mirroring your partner (“I think what you’re saying is…Is there more?”), validating (“Makes sense”) and empathy (“You must be feeling…). In this way, the couple moves from competition to cooperation; from conflict to compassion. They can see each other’s points of view in a real way and have open and honest communication without the fear of being judged or criticized. Now they can have safe conversations that protect and enhance the relationship.   *Have a Negativity Free Agreement. One of the main things that saved Harville and Helen from divorce (yes, they were on the verge) was maintaining a “No Negativity Agreement.” For a certain period of time—hours, days, or more—you and your partner agree not to speak negatively or critically to each other. Most unhappy couples tend to say several negative things to each other for every positive statement they make (the reverse is true for happy couples). Some couples have nothing positive to say about each other at all. Yet, to have a happy marriage or long-term relationship, it’s important that you accentuate the positive—have fun, appreciation, and caring days; give each other unexpected surprises, and eliminate negative criticisms and complaints from your everyday conversation with your partner. When you want to work on something in the relationship, use the structured dialogue exercises mentioned above to communicate in a safe and nonjudgmental way in which hurts and pains are minimized and love is enhanced.   *Bring the Higher Nature into your relationship. Regardless of their religious or spiritual beliefs, most people recognize that there is something sacred and holy in the deepest and most fulfilling love relationships and marriages. Recognized by various terms, Imago Dei (image of God), agape (unconditional love), or light creation (leaving a legacy of goodness), the best relationships have this special and beautiful quality. When you allow the Higher Nature (God spirit, nature) into your relationship, it’s no longer just about two people as individuals; it’s about the sacred space between them—the all-encompassing representation of sacrificial love in which each person is willing to give their life for the welfare of their partner.   In these times of trouble and upheaval, there is a silver lining. We are moving toward an Omega point (spiritual unification) in which the whole world is coming together to fight common enemies (disease, hate, and inequality). In the same way, couples who have been fighting each other can find the unity and similarity within their uniqueness and create a love that is more than just romance and fairy tales. It is a love that stands the test of all time and leaves a legacy of light and goodness through the children created, the friends made, the experiences shared, and the contributions made. In the end, there is only one thing left when couples separate through circumstance or death: It is called Love.

Keep It School
Episode 4: Self-Care

Keep It School

Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2020 36:56


This episode we hopped into the minds of our counselors, Ms. Harville and Ms. Jordan at Landrum middle school. We discussed topics like self-care and tips for folks to take away, as well as taking care of the whole employee.

Safe Conversations®
A Safe Conversation

Safe Conversations®

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 15, 2020 43:23


In their fourth episode, Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt meet with women’s and human rights activist Sunita Viswanath to discuss COVID-19 and its effects on daily life and relationships. Special guests and multicultural couple Vibhusha and Peter then demonstrate the power of a Safe Conversation at home.

Safe Conversations®
Safe Conversations Dialogue

Safe Conversations®

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2020 30:36


In their third episode, Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt explore how Safe Conversations can be helpful in overcoming traumatic or negative emotions. To showcase this process, special guests and multi-cultural couple Barry & Anne Contee (a Safe Conversations Leader) provide a demonstration of a 'Safe Conversations Dialogue'.

Safe Conversations®
Sharing a Frustration

Safe Conversations®

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 13, 2020 34:07


In their second episode, Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt discuss with Iranian Safe Conversations Leader Ali Ghasemian how Safe Conversations might be helpful at home during times of quarantine. A special guest couple then demonstrates 'Sharing a Frustration' and transforming it into a request.

Safe Conversations®
Sharing an Appreciation

Safe Conversations®

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2020 35:41


In their first episode, Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt speak about stress in the home and the benefits of their teachable Safe Conversations process. This process is then demonstrated through 'Sharing an Appreciation', with Sarah Crilley-Hill of Real News PR and her son, Caleb.

Parenting ADHD Podcast, with the ADHD Momma | Positive Parenting | ADHD Tools | Homework Strategies | ADHD at School | Learni

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Parenting ADHD Podcast, with the ADHD Momma | Positive Parenting | ADHD Tools | Homework Strategies | ADHD at School | Learni

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Parenting ADHD Podcast, with the ADHD Momma | Positive Parenting | ADHD Tools | Homework Strategies | ADHD at School | Learni

Get curious and support your child in the struggles they have without judgement. With the knowledge we have about brain development and structure, we can better understand our kid's behaviors and the way they learn. We can also better understand their strengths and, in turn, lift their self -esteem. In this episode of the Parenting ADHD Podcast, I'm talking with online reading strategist, Jean Harville, about the neuroscience behind a positive, strengths-based approach, as well as the tools, strategies, and mindset to help your child thrive. 

Women, Men & Relationships
Ep. 208: Safe Conversations

Women, Men & Relationships

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 3, 2020 54:16


Continue this conversation and more in the Inner Circle Membership! Inner Circle Membership http://jjflizanes.com/innercircle   *mentioned on episode March 21, people can go to  safeconversations.com/SOR to view the free online event.   Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D believe that how we interact with each other, in all our contexts—family, workplace, schools, etc.—is the key to our emotional, physical and economic well-being and to the well-being of our children and society. They vision the possibility of shifting from the age of the individual to the age of relationship; when “relationship" rather than the “individual" will be the primary value system of culture. To make relational information and skills available to everyone, Harville and Helen co- initiated Imago Relationships International as a training institute for couples therapists, Relationships First® as a collaborative mission to change the cultural value system, and Safe Conversations® as an experiment to raise the joy index of a whole city, making the work available in workshops, training programs, lectures, seminars and books. Harville and Helen continue to co-create Imago Relationship Theory and Therapy and make it available in workshops, training programs, lectures, seminars and books. Over 1200 Imago therapists practice in 37 countries. Their professional partnership has produced 10 books including three NYT best sellers (Getting the Love You Want, Keeping the Love You Find, and Giving the Love that Heals). Their latest book is The Space Between (2017). They are working on a new professional text on Imago theory and therapy. In addition, a 30th anniversary edition of Getting the Love You Want will launch in 2018. Harville is a couple’s therapist with over 40 years’ experience as an educator, clinical trainer and lecturer whose work has been on Oprah 17 times. In addition to Helen’s partnership with her husband in the co-creation of Imago, she is sole author of Faith and Feminism and And the Spirit Moved Them. She was installed in the Women’s Hall of Fame for her leadership in the global women’s movement. Helen and Harville have been married for over 30 years, have six children, and reside in Dallas, Texas. http://relationshipsfirst.org   http://harvilleandhelen.com   JJ’s Astrology Course starting March 10th http://jjflizanes.com/astrology-course/   Free 30 Day Manifestation Challenge: http://jjflizanes.com/30day   JJ Flizanes is an Empowerment Strategist and the host of several podcast including People’s Choice Awards nominee Spirit, Purpose & Energy. She is the Director of Invisible Fitness, a best-selling author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life and The Invisible Fitness Formula: 5 Secrets to Release Weight and End Body Shame. Named Best Personal Trainer in Los Angeles for 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine, JJ has been featured in many national magazines, including Shape, Fitness, and Women’s Health as well as appeared on NBC, CBS, Fox, the CW and KTLA. Grab a free copy of the Invisible Fitness Formula at http://jjflizanes.com/book    

Spirit, Purpose & Energy
Ep. 233: Safe Conversations

Spirit, Purpose & Energy

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 3, 2020 54:11


Continue this conversation and more in the Inner Circle Membership! Inner Circle Membership http://jjflizanes.com/innercircle   *mentioned on episode March 21, people can go to  safeconversations.com/SOR to view the free online event.   Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D believe that how we interact with each other, in all our contexts—family, workplace, schools, etc.—is the key to our emotional, physical and economic well-being and to the well-being of our children and society. They vision the possibility of shifting from the age of the individual to the age of relationship; when “relationship" rather than the “individual" will be the primary value system of culture. To make relational information and skills available to everyone, Harville and Helen co- initiated Imago Relationships International as a training institute for couples therapists, Relationships First® as a collaborative mission to change the cultural value system, and Safe Conversations® as an experiment to raise the joy index of a whole city, making the work available in workshops, training programs, lectures, seminars and books. Harville and Helen continue to co-create Imago Relationship Theory and Therapy and make it available in workshops, training programs, lectures, seminars and books. Over 1200 Imago therapists practice in 37 countries. Their professional partnership has produced 10 books including three NYT best sellers (Getting the Love You Want, Keeping the Love You Find, and Giving the Love that Heals). Their latest book is The Space Between (2017). They are working on a new professional text on Imago theory and therapy. In addition, a 30th anniversary edition of Getting the Love You Want will launch in 2018. Harville is a couple’s therapist with over 40 years’ experience as an educator, clinical trainer and lecturer whose work has been on Oprah 17 times. In addition to Helen’s partnership with her husband in the co-creation of Imago, she is sole author of Faith and Feminism and And the Spirit Moved Them. She was installed in the Women’s Hall of Fame for her leadership in the global women’s movement. Helen and Harville have been married for over 30 years, have six children, and reside in Dallas, Texas.   http://relationshipsfirst.org   http://harvilleandhelen.com   JJ’s Astrology Course starting March 10th http://jjflizanes.com/astrology-course/   Free 30 Day Manifestation Challenge: http://jjflizanes.com/30day     JJ Flizanes is an Empowerment Strategist and the host of several podcast including People’s Choice Awards nominee Spirit, Purpose & Energy. She is the Director of Invisible Fitness, a best-selling author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life and The Invisible Fitness Formula: 5 Secrets to Release Weight and End Body Shame. Named Best Personal Trainer in Los Angeles for 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine, JJ has been featured in many national magazines, including Shape, Fitness, and Women’s Health as well as appeared on NBC, CBS, Fox, the CW and KTLA. Grab a free copy of the Invisible Fitness Formula at http://jjflizanes.com/book    

Fit 2 Love Podcast with JJ Flizanes

Continue this conversation and more in the Inner Circle Membership! Inner Circle Membership http://jjflizanes.com/innercircle   *mentioned on episode March 21, people can go to  safeconversations.com/SOR to view the free online event.   Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D believe that how we interact with each other, in all our contexts—family, workplace, schools, etc.—is the key to our emotional, physical and economic well-being and to the well-being of our children and society. They vision the possibility of shifting from the age of the individual to the age of relationship; when “relationship" rather than the “individual" will be the primary value system of culture. To make relational information and skills available to everyone, Harville and Helen co- initiated Imago Relationships International as a training institute for couples therapists, Relationships First® as a collaborative mission to change the cultural value system, and Safe Conversations® as an experiment to raise the joy index of a whole city, making the work available in workshops, training programs, lectures, seminars and books. Harville and Helen continue to co-create Imago Relationship Theory and Therapy and make it available in workshops, training programs, lectures, seminars and books. Over 1200 Imago therapists practice in 37 countries. Their professional partnership has produced 10 books including three NYT best sellers (Getting the Love You Want, Keeping the Love You Find, and Giving the Love that Heals). Their latest book is The Space Between (2017). They are working on a new professional text on Imago theory and therapy. In addition, a 30th anniversary edition of Getting the Love You Want will launch in 2018. Harville is a couple’s therapist with over 40 years’ experience as an educator, clinical trainer and lecturer whose work has been on Oprah 17 times. In addition to Helen’s partnership with her husband in the co-creation of Imago, she is sole author of Faith and Feminism and And the Spirit Moved Them. She was installed in the Women’s Hall of Fame for her leadership in the global women’s movement. Helen and Harville have been married for over 30 years, have six children, and reside in Dallas, Texas.   http://relationshipsfirst.org   http://harvilleandhelen.com     JJ’s Astrology Course starting March 10th http://jjflizanes.com/astrology-course/   Free 30 Day Manifestation Challenge: http://jjflizanes.com/30day   JJ Flizanes is an Empowerment Strategist and the host of several podcast including People’s Choice Awards nominee Spirit, Purpose & Energy. She is the Director of Invisible Fitness, a best-selling author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life and The Invisible Fitness Formula: 5 Secrets to Release Weight and End Body Shame. Named Best Personal Trainer in Los Angeles for 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine, JJ has been featured in many national magazines, including Shape, Fitness, and Women’s Health as well as appeared on NBC, CBS, Fox, the CW and KTLA. Grab a free copy of the Invisible Fitness Formula at http://jjflizanes.com/book    

Nutrition & Alternative Medicine
Ep. 132: Safe Conversations

Nutrition & Alternative Medicine

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 3, 2020 54:14


Continue this conversation and more in the Inner Circle Membership! Inner Circle Membership http://jjflizanes.com/innercircle   *mentioned on episode March 21, people can go to  safeconversations.com/SOR to view the free online event.   Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D believe that how we interact with each other, in all our contexts—family, workplace, schools, etc.—is the key to our emotional, physical and economic well-being and to the well-being of our children and society. They vision the possibility of shifting from the age of the individual to the age of relationship; when “relationship" rather than the “individual" will be the primary value system of culture. To make relational information and skills available to everyone, Harville and Helen co- initiated Imago Relationships International as a training institute for couples therapists, Relationships First® as a collaborative mission to change the cultural value system, and Safe Conversations® as an experiment to raise the joy index of a whole city, making the work available in workshops, training programs, lectures, seminars and books. Harville and Helen continue to co-create Imago Relationship Theory and Therapy and make it available in workshops, training programs, lectures, seminars and books. Over 1200 Imago therapists practice in 37 countries. Their professional partnership has produced 10 books including three NYT best sellers (Getting the Love You Want, Keeping the Love You Find, and Giving the Love that Heals). Their latest book is The Space Between (2017). They are working on a new professional text on Imago theory and therapy. In addition, a 30th anniversary edition of Getting the Love You Want will launch in 2018. Harville is a couple’s therapist with over 40 years’ experience as an educator, clinical trainer and lecturer whose work has been on Oprah 17 times. In addition to Helen’s partnership with her husband in the co-creation of Imago, she is sole author of Faith and Feminism and And the Spirit Moved Them. She was installed in the Women’s Hall of Fame for her leadership in the global women’s movement. Helen and Harville have been married for over 30 years, have six children, and reside in Dallas, Texas.   http://relationshipsfirst.org   http://harvilleandhelen.com     JJ’s Astrology Course starting March 10th http://jjflizanes.com/astrology-course/   Free 30 Day Manifestation Challenge: http://jjflizanes.com/30day   JJ Flizanes is an Empowerment Strategist and the host of several podcast including People’s Choice Awards nominee Spirit, Purpose & Energy. She is the Director of Invisible Fitness, a best-selling author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life and The Invisible Fitness Formula: 5 Secrets to Release Weight and End Body Shame. Named Best Personal Trainer in Los Angeles for 2007 by Elite Traveler Magazine, JJ has been featured in many national magazines, including Shape, Fitness, and Women’s Health as well as appeared on NBC, CBS, Fox, the CW and KTLA. Grab a free copy of the Invisible Fitness Formula at http://jjflizanes.com/book    

The Art of Charm
362: Harville Hendrix | Getting the Love You Want

The Art of Charm

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 5, 2015 47:06


You chose your partners for a reason. "The bottom line for great relationships is you have to know how to deal with differences." -Harville Hendrix The Cheat Sheet: What is zero negativity and how do you use it in a relationship? Imago: what is it and why should you bother to care? Only 10% of the married population is in a healthy, happy marriage: true or false? Why arranged marriages have historically worked better than love matches. What roles do safety and curiosity play in a healthy relationship? And so much more... Have you ever wondered why you choose the partners you chose in relationships? Or why so many people seem to fall in love, only to be miserable with each other down the road? Harville Hendrix joins us today to answer these questions, and the psychology behind why relationships work or don't work out. Harville is a relationship expert, therapist, coach and author of several books including Getting The Love You Want. He joins us to chat about all of this and much more on episode 362 of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: For over 35 years Harville Hendrix has worked in the field of relationships. In that time he and his wife Helen have worked with countless couples on how to communicate better and stay connected. In that time they've found what works and what doesn't work to maintain a healthy, happy relationship. Harville says in order to understand why some connections last and others don't, we need to first understand why we are drawn to the people we are drawn to. Doing so will help us work within our relationships so we're actually getting the love we want. When we're infants we create an image of our caretakers and we're left with an imprint that tells what needs were met, and what needs were not. We create what's called an "imago" when we do this. This becomes our basis for what we seek in a partner. In other words if we had a need that wasn't met by our caretakers (and most of us had some need or many needs), then we actively look for that fulfillment from someone just like our caretaker. At first that might sound illogical (why not just seek someone who can give us what we didn't get and not a replica of the person who didn't give it to us in the first place?), but Harville says we do this so we can create growth for ourselves with that person. And we attract someone who needs something we can't fulfill for them, so we can create a growth opportunity for them in return. But what typically happens is we fall in romantic love, the love blooms and our visions are colored by dopamine and endorphins so we think everything is rosy and perfect. Til one day the dopamine wears off and we see the other person as they truly are. And then we get frustrated that they aren't meeting our unmet needs and they get defensive when we try to talk about these needs, because we don't know how to effectively communicate without triggering the other person. So instead of effectively working on these difficulties, most people either give up and break off the relationship or end the marriage. In most cases we do this because we haven't learned how to talk to each other in a way that creates a safe space for the other person. We try to ask for what we need, but take a position of authority and a defensive tone that simply leads to our partner becoming defensive in return. To rectify this and to create a safe relationship to thrive in, Harville has a few suggestions. And these are suggestions he has witnessed work for countless couples, it's the basis for his practice, his books and his programs. There are three things we need to do to create a safe relationship where both people can discuss their needs. The first is to learn how to talk. Instead of our usual monologue, which is how most people speak, we need to have a dialogue. And in this dialogue we need to respect our partner's differences and points of view; they should be mirrored, validated, listened to and empathized with. We can also set aside specific time to discuss relationship topics and instead of asking "are you done?", always ask your partner "is there more?". The second thing we can do is to have a zero negativity process. In a zero negativity relationship all conversations you have you affirm your partner as different with the right to their opinions. You don't make them bad because they are different or devalue them because of those differences. This helps create a safe environment where differences can be expressed from both of you. Thirdly affirm each other on a daily basis. Harville and his wife Helen say three things about each other that they appreciate every day. And these are things that happened that day. It's an affirmation process or a gratitude practice for your relationship. This actually helps your brain create new neural pathways and you'll see your partner in a new light. Your partner becomes a source of gratitude, happiness and joy for you instead of a sore spot. There's a plethora of additional relationship and marriage tools and advice in this episode with Harville. He was a terrific guest to have on who shared SO much information, get ready for it when you listen! Thanks for being here Harville, and special thanks to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS HARVILLE HENDRIX! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Harville know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Harville on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Harville Hendrix's web siteHarville Hendrix on TwitterGetting The Love You Want, by Harville Hendrix You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!