Podcasts about stanford dean

In today's episode, I dig into the art of adulting with the phenomenal Julie Lythcott-Haims. Julie is not just a former Stanford Dean and a New York Times bestselling author; she's a beacon of wisdom for the youth and an advocate for the exhilarating journey of self-reliance. Tune in as we unravel the complexities of adult life, discuss the power of human connection, and explore the intricacies of finding your 'why'.  deliciousness of adulting!Timeline Summary:[00:00] - Julie opens up about the terror and exhilaration of stepping into adulthood and the deliciousness of being in charge of your own life.[02:46] - A warm welcome to Julie, as she joins the podcast, bringing her insights on the challenges of adulting in today's world.[03:10] - Julie discusses her motivations for writing her latest book and reflects on her role as a guiding dean to the younger generation.[05:59] - The struggle and triumph of finding a voice that resonates with young adults.[10:27] - Unpacking the concept of adulting.[17:23] - The necessity of stepping out of your comfort zone to truly engage with life and develop resilience.[20:13] - The courage to be transparent and the power of sharing vulnerabilities.[30:46] - Julie's discussion with Irshad Manji about the moral courage in conversations and the power of listening.[37:47] - The deliberate inclusion of diverse voices and experiences to reflect the vast tapestry of human life.[43:36] - The significance of mentors and the impact of one caring adult in a young person's life.Links & Resources:- Julie Lythcott-Haims' TED Talk: ted.com/talks/julie_lythcott_haims_how_to_raise_successful_kids_without_over_parenting- Books:  - "How to Raise an Adult"  - "Real American"  - "Your Turn: How to Be an Adult"If this episode has struck a chord with you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference. Here's to growing, learning, and thriving as adults in this wild world. Until next time!If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com

Seamus, Carter, Hannah Claire, & Serge join Daniel Turner to discuss Gavin Newsom fining a California School millions after the school rejected a woke course, the Stanford Dean who confronted a conservative judge resigning, Matt Gaetz introducing a new bill to defund Jack Smith's investigation into Trump, & NYC Mayor warning migrants the city has "no more room." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sarah and David divide and conquer in an especially busy episode. Following a bright announcement from host emeritus, we delve into... Trump's possible defense against the Manhattan DA Congress moving forward on a TikTok ban, but is it constitutional? Is a bad joke to an admissions officer relevant to the Harvard discrimination case? Stanford Dean's public letter A memo for young lawyers. Show Notes: -There's a problem with banning TikTok. It's called the First Amendment -Stanford Dean: Diversity and Free Speech Can Coexist at Stanford -The Secret Joke At The Heart Of The Harvard Affirmative-Action Case -A Plea for Free Speech in Boston -Judge Lee Rudofsky's Memo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Stanford feeling the heat after it was revealed they are policing language in Technology.

The Drive at 5: Dr. Wilfred Reilly—Professor of Political Science at Kentucky State University & Author of “Taboo: 10 Facts You Can't Talk About”—joins The Rich Zeoli Show to discuss Stanford Associate Dean of Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion Tirien Steinbach interrupting a speech being given by Judge Kyle Duncan, a Trump-appointed judge serving on the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals. Steinbach claimed of Judge Duncan's guest lecture, “for many people at the law school…your advocacy, your opinions from the bench, land as absolute disenfranchisement of their rights.” What is happening on college campuses

So much to do, so little time. Some days that's how it feels with cooking, cleaning, errands, activities, homeschooling. Today Emma and Beth share some of their experiences with making things more peaceful and less hectic at home. From the time your kids are toddlers, they can be learning that in a family everyone helps. From cooking once and eating twice (or three times), to “stacking up” errands, to five-minute chores for kids, we're chatting about ways to simplify your homeschooling life. Collaborating as a family to work together and teach important life skills is one of the keys to having a peaceful homeschooling life. Maybe you, too, can earn a gold star on your forehead like Beth. Help us cover the costs of the podcast by supporting us on Patreon.Here are some links mentioned:Stanford Dean on AdultingAtomic Habits - BookBeth's Book - How to Find Your Homeschool VibeHomeschool VibeSupport the show

Raising – and being – an adult is a life's work. Author, speaker, and activist Julie Lythcott-Haims explores what can get in the way of thriving as an adult and how helicopter parenting fails our children. A former Stanford Dean of Freshman and author of the perennial bestseller, “How to Raise an Adult,” Julie shares ideas from her latest book, “Your Turn: How to Be an Adult.” We cover ideas for tackling fear, the perils of over-parenting, and strategies to fuel resilience in ourselves and our children. Plus, how to get unstuck in midlife and why Julie is throwing her hat into the political ring.SHOW NOTES + TRANSCRIPT:acertainagepod.comFOLLOW A CERTAIN AGE:InstagramFacebookLinkedInGET INBOX INSPO:Sign up for our newsletter AGE BOLDLYWe share new episodes, giveaways, links we live, and midlife resourcesLIKE BOOKS?Each month we do an author BOOK LOOK on Instagram Live Follow us for the fun! @acertainagepodCONTACT US:katie@acertainagepod.com

Today's job market is a stark contrast to the job market of 20- years ago. Millennials and Gen Z'ers who are entering the workforce have different ideas about what makes a successful career and a happy work life. Young adults who are empowered with the right tools to problem solve for themselves will be major assets for the organizations they join. How long they maintain a position will be up to the organization to foster their talent and the ability of the young adult professional to rise to find different opportunities within the same organization. To discover how young adults entering the workforce can build a foundation of trust and commitment to achieve work/life success, Positive Psychology Podcast Host Lisa Cypers Kamen speaks with two authors about how young adult professionals can stand-up, stand- out, and succeed. Julie Lythcott-Haims is a New York Times bestselling author and former Stanford Dean of Freshman. She explores the role parents can play in raising empowered young adults and other reflections from her book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult. Mark Zides is the CEO of CoreAxis Consulting and a serial entrepreneur. He discusses the core concepts he provides to young adults in his book, The #PACE Process for Early Career Success.

Teens have the ability to know how much they need to eat. And when we interfere with that, as parents, we start to break down their natural ability. When we model that we trust our children to listen to their bodies, that they are in charge of their bodies, it also models consent.Welcome to Burnt Toast! This is the podcast where we talk about diet culture, fatphobia, parenting, and health. Today I’m chatting with Signe Darpinian who is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, certified eating disorder specialist, and host of Therapy Rocks, a personal growth podcast. She is also the co-author of No Weigh!: A Teen's Guide to Positive Body Image, Food, and Emotional Wisdom and the new book Raising Body Positive Teens: A Parent’s Guide to Diet-free Living, Exercise, and Body Image. I’m really thrilled to have Signe on the podcast because she is someone who can answer all your questions about intuitive eating and anti-diet life with teenagers.If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe, rate and review us in your podcast player! And subscribe to the Burnt Toast newsletter for episode transcripts, reported essays, and more.ICYMI! I joined Signe on her podcast last week. We focused on how to talk about fatness and fatphobia with teenagers; listen here.VirginiaI am such a fan of your work, and especially the new book. Can you tell our listeners a little more about yourself and your work?SigneI’ve been treating eating disorders now for over 20 years. And I actually had the good fortune of being exposed to non-diet and weight-inclusive approaches right in the beginning, when I was really green. It’s something that I was very lit up about right from the beginning. It’s been interesting in 20+ years to see the different trends. Like you talked about in your book, The Eating Instinct, to see the trends of diet culture, which were more straightforward in the beginning, like Jenny Craig, to today’s wellness culture. A couple other things about me: I started a podcast right in the beginning of the pandemic. And I’m what some people call a single mother by circumstance, a little bit different than a single mom by choice. It was a happy accident! It can be interesting being a single parent and doing this food piece. My lived experience is more like, well, we’re going to do it this way. That’s not always a parallel to what other people experience — doing food when partners feel differently about diet culture can be tough.I have a 12-year-old daughter and this book was a much bigger project. My daughter threatened to stab the book in the heart when it comes out. VirginiaIs that because of the time it took or because she disagrees with the content?SigneShe doesn’t really know the content. It’s a funny question because the teen book is actually just perfect for her. Age 12 would be a great starting age. She has it on her bookshelf and I asked her if she would consider reading it. She’s like, “Only if you pay me.” I’m like, “Are we talking about twenty bucks?” She’s like, “More like one hundred.” I’m like, “Forget it.” So no, it’s not the content because I don’t think she’ll ever know. She has no interest. It’s more like, you know how it is with writing. It took a lot of time. It was a much bigger project and those last few weeks are pretty daunting. It’s a lot of hard work—and really fun! But she was ready for it to be done, which I understand.VirginiaMy eight-year-old often asks, “Oh, are you still writing that book?” And there’s a little tone there! A little judgment. She’s like, “How many chapters are you trying to do?”SigneVirginia, what about your recent post about your eight-year-old never wanting to be a writer unless she had to for the money?VirginiaI was like, “Oh, how do I explain to you that if you have to do things for the money, this is not the thing?”SigneI’ve definitely got a reluctant reader over here.VirginiaMine’s a reader, but she does not like writing. She feels sorry for me with this career choice. Okay, so the big reason I wanted to have you on is because I get lots of questions from parents of teenagers. I really relate to the sense of panic I get in these emails where parents say, “I’m just now discovering concepts like intuitive eating or diet culture or fatphobia.” Maybe during their kids’ earlier childhood they were more controlling around food or they were on diets themselves. And they’re just feeling like, well, now, what do I do? My kid is 14 or 16 or 20, and this is a shift we want to make. But is it too late?SigneThe short answer is: It’s never too late. We’re not modeling perfectionism, as parents. We’re modeling humanity. I don’t know about you, Virginia, but I try to do my best in modeling good mistake-making. I’m really taking ownership for my part in things more than I’m trying to model being perfect. Well, because I couldn’t anyway. I’ve tried that it doesn’t work. We are all immersed in diet culture and it’s really, really sneaky. There’s so much morality around food. Parents are in the same culture. Just thinking about their evolution, the evolution of their body image, and the messaging they received when they were young. What was going on at their table with food? What was happening with body image? And the conditioning that they come with. So on one hand, I think parents hold a lot of power. Our hope in writing the parent book is that we can give parents a point of reference for what a friendship with food might look like or a friendship with body might look like. Because we’ve really lost our way as a culture. We hope for them to become awake and aware about when did they become disembodied? When did they become disconnected from their own body? Thinking about ways that they might like to be different as it relates to food and body image, so that they can extend it outward.  I have friends, for example, that by now know about body positivity and intuitive eating. They know the right things to say, but there’s an incongruency with what they’re saying and what they’re doing themselves. Our kids and our teens, they can sniff out those incongruencies. So we can think about the ways that we would like to be different and think of it in terms of a process, not a finished product. I think that’s a great starting place for parents.VirginiaWhat you’re really modeling is recognizing mistakes and learning from mistakes. Because kids know we’re making mistakes all the time. They’re not fooled. For us to own that and say, “Yeah, I’ve been getting this wrong, and I’m trying to do it differently.” That feels so powerful. I would imagine kids would appreciate it, even if they don’t say, “Oh, thanks, Mom, I really appreciate that.” What does this shift look like if you’re starting this with older kids? Concepts like Division of Responsibility can be so helpful when you’re developing this with younger kids but the guidance gets a little hazier as kids get older. They are more adept at preparing their own food, they’re out in the world more. They can take more responsibility in some senses. Parents often don’t know how and when to really hand over that responsibility.SigneThe Division of Responsibility, the way that I understand it, is the parent is in charge of the when to eat and the what to eat. I like to put a lot of emphasis on being very mindful about the what to eat not being only “healthy” food. It can be problematic when somebody is in charge of the what to eat and they are immersed in their own diet culture. That could go really badly. Then of course, the child or the teen is in charge of the how much. I want to make one disclaimer about Division of Responsibility. In my caseload, by the time people come to me, there is already a very serious problem. There is already a clinical eating disorder. The thing that I’m hearing most often from parents, when there’s already a clinical eating disorder, is “I just thought they were trying to eat healthier and exercise more.” That’s the way this looks right now. I’m on the frontlines in this work. If my daughter came to me and said she wanted to eat healthier, I would respond to it in the same way as if she told me she wanted to start smoking cigarettes. VirginiaSo it’s a big red flag.Signe“Eating healthier” is a big red flag. And just don’t want to do any false advertising around Division of Responsibility. VirginiaIt doesn’t work for people in the acute stages of an eating disorder. That’s not where you start when you’re in treatment. SigneExactly. Division of Responsibility is going to really look very different with my 12-year-old than it is with somebody else’s. At one end of the continuum, we have households that may have been modeling externally imposed restriction. Externally imposed restriction might look like a parent micromanaging a teen or a child’s food and feeding them in a way that really has to do with their concern about their weight. On the other end, you might have a household that almost looks too loose. That’s actually the the household that I had, up until my daughter was in kindergarten or first grade. I was so aware of attuned ways of eating and how important a more connected way of eating is that I actually wasn’t providing enough structure for my particular child. That doesn’t mean that other children couldn’t do just fine with a very loose household with food. In my own circumstance, my daughter was needing more structure and guidance around food the same way she needed a bedtime. With teenagers, I think parents can still incorporate a lot of the Division of Responsibility paradigm. Making sure that the foods are there. One of the guidelines that we use in our book is making foods equal. Not only equal in morality, but equal in availability. Equal in availability might look like if the refrigerator was full of foods that sort of matched an “all foods fit” paradigm, not just the ones deemed “healthy.” Foods are there and equally easy to grab. Maybe there’s cubed up fruit and there’s cheese sticks and there’s fun size candy. They’re equally easy to grab. We can then grab the food that our bodies are actually calling for versus what’s easiest. I also want to make the disclaimer that we don’t always have the time to do the preliminary work to make foods equally easy to grab, equal in availability. So I just want to name that sometimes we will, sometimes we won’t. No big. One of the things that really resonates with me is not micromanaging what they’re up to with their food during the day. They’re clearly going to have a lot more autonomy with food. Some of them are driving now. They have their own money. They’re going to friends’ houses. So you would never assess or take an inventory of what was eaten that day and base your dinner decision or dessert decision on what they had during the day.VirginiaThat’s their opportunity to be practicing these skills. It’s not on you to say that if they had ice cream after school, then they can’t have cookies with dinner.SigneExactly. If I asked my daughter, “What did you guys have for snack today?” Like, if I know somebody brought something in. If my intention is to see if she had sweets and that will determine if we have dessert tonight, then I’m not going to say anything. But if my intention is just genuinely, I’m curious, then I might ask. With teenagers there’s another component that comes in and this piece would really come more from my co-author Wendy Sterling, the dietitian. She says the teenage years are also a really nice time to start introducing some basic food prep skills. Maybe they’re in charge of one recipe for dinner or maybe they’re putting together their own lunch. You’re making the food available and accessible, but they’re in charge of some of those chores that are related to food prep or cleanup as it relates to a meal. One other thing I want to bring in around that, and this comes from a podcast I did with somebody who’s an expert on adulting, Julie Lythcott-Haims. She was talking about how when we grew up we didn’t experience a culture of busy-ness in quite the same way that we’re seeing today. Sometimes, these meal prep chores, we’re not having our kids do them, because they’re too busy. Everybody is too busy. I can empty the dishwasher quicker than they can, I can set the table quicker than they can, so I might as well just do it for them. So I just wanted to bring in how the culture of busyness may show up in what we’re talking about, as well.VirginiaI think that applies for parents of all ages. I even think about that now with my eight-year-old, she could be clearing the table more. We do have them clear their own plates, but we were just having a conversation about starting to build in small opportunities for these skills. Because I want a 16-year-old who can make her own lunch! I don’t want to be packing lunches when they’re 16.SigneBefore before I did that interview, I don’t know that I was as aware of it, you know? My 12-year-old is like, “Can you get me some water?” I’m like, “Hey, you’re as tall as I am. Go get it yourself!” Right now I’m noticing how often I’m like there’s no time for her to empty the dishwasher. I’m just going to do it. Julie Lythcott-Haims, who was a Stanford Dean for several years, noticed a trend that a lot of these kids that are entering school nowadays, it looks like somebody has been cutting their meat for too long. Way too long.One other skill, as far as parents thinking about first steps that they might take in getting more attuned and connected to their body’s wisdom, is the hunger meter. We have a pretty basic hunger meter, which is one to ten. At the higher end is fullness. So, say six to ten, those are the fullness gradations of the hunger meter. At the lower end, the one would be famished, starving. A three would be the first sign of appetite, whatever that feels like for a particular person. When somebody is going from eating with a diet mentality or eating “from the chin up,” which means reducing their food choices to nutrients only and what I “should” and “shouldn’t” eat. When you go from years of eating from the chin up in a very disconnected, disembodied way and you’re going to start trying to eat from your body’s cues, the hunger meter can be a nice tool. Some people aren’t calibrated enough to start eating intuitively and so they might need to do mechanical eating. A simplified definition of mechanical eating might be eating by the clock on the wall. It may require some calibration first.VirginiaThat’s for folks who maybe in the past have been skipping meals or eating really erratically, so this is to make sure you are eating during the day and not skipping and ending up over-hungry.SigneThinking about getting recalibrated, doing some mechanical eating, ultimately that might give you some access to your body’s cues. And then the hunger meter as a tool may come in handy. We get told a lot that that’s probably one of the most helpful tools, and we have a chapter on the different gradations. Here’s what it would look like once you’re recalibrated. Maybe you just ate lunch at noon and it’s two o’clock and you’re feeling a pull toward food. Okay, so just trying to identify where you might be on, on the hunger meter. Maybe you’re at a five and you’re neutral. You’re not hungry and you’re not full, but you’re feeling that pull toward food. The hunger meter is meant to really just be used as a tool that you’re checking in and deciding from the inside. Becoming awake and aware about where you are. It’s all about choice. The target behavior here is really about creating a little bit of space between you and the food and just assessing where you are. oh, I’m at a five, I’m neutral. I’m not hungry, I’m not full. Just to be awake and aware of what’s going on for you—and then what you do after that is up to you. That’s your choice. The intervention or the target isn’t so much what you end up doing with the food—maybe you eat it, maybe you don’t, who cares? The intervention is just becoming awake and aware so you have more choice around your food.VirginiaThat’s a helpful distinction, because I do think there’s a risk of using hunger meters and feeling like, Well, I’m not hungry enough. There’s definitely a way to turn it into a diet,SigneYou can turn it into a diet in a nanosecond. It’s just creating that space between you and the food. VirginiaAnother thing you have in the book that I really love is the chapter on boundaries. I loved one you just highlighted, setting a boundary of not policing what your kid eats out of the house. What else do parents of teenagers need to understand about boundaries? What kind of boundaries should we be trying to respect when kids set them around food and body?SigneOne of my favorite excerpts around boundaries and food is from the chapter co-written with Anna Lutz, RD. [You can also hear Anna on Burnt Toast here!]Anna says: “Teens have the ability to know how much they need to eat. And when we interfere with that, as parents, we start to break down their natural ability. When we model that we trust our children to listen to their bodies, that they are in charge of their bodies, it also models consent.” So I think this really illuminates the importance of not interfering with children’s or teen’s stopping place. You are really helping them strengthen the muscle of listening to their instinct and honoring it. We might be talking about food right now, but in allowing them to do that with their food and not saying like, “you’re not going to get up from the table until you eat your broccoli,” or “you can’t have your dessert until you do this,” or “you’re not going to have another piece of pizza,” or whatever it is. VirginiaThat’s such a powerful moment, for parents to realize that the concepts that we’re working out around the dinner table is going to translate into how your kids trust their bodies in so many different settings. And that’s all we want, right? We want our kids to listen to their bodies first and foremost, in dating, all of a that.SigneThat’s my favorite boundary as it relates to food. In the body boundaries chapter, we did this effective communication model, we call it ad libs for effective communication. It’s an effective communication model that I see in a lot of places, it’s pretty well documented. When you have a body boundary to not let other people comment on your body, whether it’s positive or negative, letting them know where you stand. Like, “Hey, it’s not okay when you comment on my body without my consent.” So you stick with the facts, then you grab in one or two feeling words: “I feel angry.” And then the because. Because is what it is about them commenting on your body that makes you feel this way. “Because it gives me the impression that you’re scrutinizing my body.” So it’s a really simple formula and of course, you want to make it yours. You don’t want to sound like a therapy session. The person may come in and say, “Well, gosh, I just thought you looked great and I thought I would just tell you. It looks like you’ve lost weight.” The best way to win the game is to not play. So you just say, “That maybe be your perspective, but I wanted to let you know how those comments affect me.” Sometimes it helps to practice in your journal or with a therapist or to a friend that you’ve really felt safe with. Sometimes it’s helpful to just write out what you would have liked to have said that you didn’t feel comfortable saying, as you’re practicing and getting ready to do boundaries. Something I think we leave out when we talk about boundaries is they’re really hard. Especially if somebody has been taught to not make waves in their family of origin or if somebody’s temperament is conflict avoidant, it’s not very comfortable. I think it’s important, when we’re talking about boundaries, instead of just saying, “Oh, be sure to have a boundary and don’t let anybody comment on your body,” to also bring in this preparation. We need to tell people: When you do have these boundaries for the first time, it may feel really bad. I mean, really, really bad. In the chapter, I talked about my own experience, where I would feel so awful in practicing boundaries for the first time, like I robbed a bank or something. It might feels bad in that situation, not because your boundary is wrong, but because you’re breaking a pattern. VirginiaI appreciate the script you’ve given us because I think the other person’s reaction is often what makes it feel so dangerous. You can’t control whether or not the boundary will be respected or how they’ll respond. So that follow up of, “That may be your perspective, but I wanted you to know how these comments affect me,” is so helpful, because that gives you a way to get out of that. SigneYou’re right, you’re right. Because it of course it depends on who you’re giving the boundary to. If it’s a person that feels really safe and you have an egalitarian relationship with, then then they’re going to hear it and be very receptive. That’s going to be different from delivering a boundary from somebody who is out of balance. When you give a boundary to some people, they’re not going to be happy and that’s okay. It’s important for us to really get comfortable with tolerating somebody not being okay with us.VirginiaAnd not feeling like it’s our job to fix them not being happy about the boundary we needed to set. SigneYeah, you can say it in the most eloquent way, and some people may still not be happy and that’s alright.VirginiaThe last thing I wanted to talk to you about was your social media chapter. This is a major route that teenagers are being exposed to diet culture. Talk a little bit about how you advise parents to engage with kids on this. How do we talk about the negative food and body messages that kids are encountering online while holding that kids want to be on social media and that there’s a real need for it. SigneOne thing that I learned while writing this book comes from dialoguing with Sara Pipher Gilliam about social media. In preparing for the 25th Anniversary of Reviving Ophelia, they did 18 months of focus groups with adolescent girls and their parents. What was interesting is that every single one of those teenagers were told up front when they first got their devices, “We are going to be checking in on your social media on a regular basis. Whatever you put out there in a text or group chat, it’s for the whole world to see. I am going to be looking at it regularly.” And almost every single one of the parents never did follow up on that. This is something I’m dealing with regularly with with my particular caseload, but also with my 12-year-old. We have really good intentions and we know that the technology genie is out of the bottle and not going back in. We want to check their social media on a regular basis. But it’s mind numbing. It’s not fun. We want to be sitting down every few days or weekly and scrolling through and having them give us a tour of their TikTok or what they’re seeing and talk to them about it. But it’s just not very fun and we don’t want to do it. There’s a little bit of avoidance.VirginiaI already feel that way hearing my eight-year-old talk about Animal Crossing, so I can’t even imagine how I’ll feel when it’s TikTok.SigneYeah, it’s super boring. So let’s just say that out loud. In that chapter, we did use one of Sara’s interventions that she calls peer-to-peer peer agreements. I think we need to have parent-to-parent agreements, where we’re checking in with each other. Did you check your kid’s TikTok this week?The peer-to-peer agreements are really powerful, more so than what they might hear from a teacher or from a parent. It’s not uncommon for me to have a teenager in my caseload totally distraught because her friend was mad at her for not being on call at 2AM because she had a breakup. There’s a lot going on behind the scenes with social media, a lot of expectations. So maybe one of the agreement is we’re putting our phones away at 10PM, depending on the age. So that people know ahead of time and they don’t have unrealistic expectations for accessibility to each other. The other thing is, I’ve seen parents who are checking social media too often. It feels a little like dimming the kid’s light. It’s really different for everybody, but we need to be finding something that’s that sort of in the middle of being too strict or too loose with social media.VirginiaYou’ve talked about needing to respect to what kids are getting out of it, too. There’s the social piece and the creative expression that comes with social media. SigneI did an interview with a colleague and good friend of mine who is a registered Art Therapist. She talks a lot about how we really see our kids trying to express themselves creatively through social media, through music and dance. They’re looking for art, as well as creating it themselves. On one hand, that can be okay. On the other hand, we know that not all the images that they’re seeing are positive. What she says so eloquently is that social media is not meant to take to take the place of going to see art in real time or doing our own art. Over this last holiday, my mom was in town and she really had to push us out the door to go to the Museum of Modern Art in San Francisco. I didn’t really want to go, like the parking, you know. We ended up getting there and I’m so glad. We brought my daughter and one of the times we brought her friends, too. They didn’t love everything, but it’s good for them to get exposed to art in different ways than on an online platform.VirginiaIn a museum, there is still an audience for the art, but it’s a much different audience than when you’re only putting things on social media and thinking of art as something you make for the whole internet. It’s really powerful for kids to realize that art is something they can do just for themselves. I think that’s really helpful for parents who are trying to appreciate what kids are getting out of it. But also figuring out the self regulation piece and kind of helping them learn those tools. It’s a messy thing we have to keep muddling through.SigneAnd making sure that there’s plenty of time where we allow our kids to be bored, and not sort of swoop in and rescue them from the boredom. Having art supplies available and accessible would be great. I do want to mention, the ability to have art supplies, and to go see art, depending on where you are, can be a privilege. Nowadays, places like the dollar store have a lot better art supplies than they did 10 years ago. So there are ways to get it cheaper than you used to be able to, so that’s cool. I like the idea of making sure they have a fair amount of time just hanging out in their boredom and learning to tolerate it and giving them an opportunity to come up with their own creative and imaginative expression through their own art.Butter For Your Burnt ToastSigneSomething that I’ve been up to lately that I used to do in my 20s and 30s and I rediscovered it recently is collaging. What’s really cool about collaging is that I don’t have art skills. I don’t know how to draw, I don’t necessarily know how to paint. So collaging can be one of the least daunting forms of creative expression. What I like about it, too, is that you can use the catalogs that come in the mail to just kind of spend time cutting out images that inspire you, which can be really meditative. My colleague calls it visual journaling. It’s kind of cool because it can give your journaling a three dimensional quality. For teens that maybe don’t want to be writing in their journal because they’re afraid a parent might see it, journaling through art or visuals can be a way to express and get your dark thoughts out on paper so that they’re not staying private. Only you really know what the symbols and the metaphors mean in the art. So it’s something that I’ve been doing myself and I’ve also been doing with clients. It’s been really helpful. I have a couple of clients that I’m doing that with right now that struggle with unhealthy perfectionism. So just spending time cutting out images and doing collage in a way that you can’t really get it wrong teaches is a nice mindfulness practice. It helps them pace themselves. And lately, I’ve been making collage cards. Cards are pretty expensive, at least the ones that I really like. You can personalize a collage card for a birthday card and make it uniquely for somebody that you’re close to. It’s just a fun way to share your art.VirginiaI mean, I’m obsessed. I want to start collaging immediately. It sounds like a great thing to do with teenagers with younger kids. It’s something I also did for a while and sort of dropped. And now as you’re talking about it, I’m like, where did that go? I need to bring collaging back. That’s a wonderful idea.SigneIt’s a really fun thing to just get totally lost in.VirginiaWell, my Butter this week is a movie recommendation. It’s not a new movie, so probably most people have seen it. I think it came out one of the years I had a baby because the year you have a child, you’re kind of culturally illiterate. It’s Inside Out and I had a feeling you would be a fan, Signe. We just watched it with our kids a few weeks ago. It was so funny because our four-year-old was really resistant. She had a lot of feelings before we started, but then she was just mesmerized. I think she has watched eight times since then. I mean, we were all stuck in the house with COVID for two weeks. It’s been so cool because she is really using the tools from it. So for people who don’t know, the premise of inside out is that it’s this 11-year-old girl Riley, who’s going through some big life stuff. And the movie is narrated by the emotions in her head. So you see the sadness and joy and anger, and disgust and fear constantly narrating what’s happening to Riley and what’s happening within her head. Now when my four-year-old gets mad, she goes, “Oh, angry guy, you’re being so loud in my head right now.” It’s amazing because she’s labeling the emotions and it takes her down a notch. She’ll scream and be frustrated and then we can talk about what the angry guy is so angry about. So yeah, if you’re looking for a way to talk about feelings with kids in a super accessible way, it’s such a beautiful movie. SigneIt is so well done. My co-author, Shelley Aggarwal, MD, she’s an adolescent medicine doctor. We were just talking about Inside Out because in our friendship with body image chapter, we have this section on how it’s really normal for adolescents to over-identify with their peer groups. She was talking about how perfect the movie is to explain and show over-identification with a peer group. Diversifying our interests is a really great way to protect ourselves from body image dissatisfaction or eating issues. I’ve been talking about watching it with my daughter again.VirginiaI can see it being something we come back to throughout the years. You’ll get different things out of it. Right now the four-year-old loves angry guy,- and she loves the imaginary friend Bing Bong, because she has many imaginary friends. My eight-year-old is a little more close to the vest with feelings and she, I think, felt very seen by the movie. Like, oh, other people have all these big feelings inside them. That was so wonderful to see. SigneIt’s just a brilliant movie. That’s going to be our movie this week.VirginiaGood to hear. Well, Signe, tell listeners where they can find more of you.SigneSo the pre-order link for Raising Body Positive Teens: A Parent’s Guide to Diet-free Living, Exercise, and Body Image is now available. My website has a books tab and both books are there. VirginiaThank you so much for being here. I really appreciate it,Thanks so much for listening to Burnt Toast. Once again. If you’d like to support the show, please subscribe for free in your podcast player and tell a friend about this episode and consider a paid subscription to Burnt Toast. You get a ton of cool perks including next week’s bonus episode and you will keep this an ad- and sponsor-free space.The Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by me, Virginia Sole-Smith. You can follow me on Instagram or Twitter.Burnt Toast transcripts and essays are edited and formatted by Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting independent anti-diet journalism. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

I'm excited to welcome you to a special episode of the Mother's Quest Podcast that I am extremely grateful for, just in time for Thanksgiving, featuring the amazing Julie Lythcott-Haims and my 17-year-old son Ryan Neale. Julie is an incredible mother to two, a former Stanford Dean and New York Times bestselling author of the anti-helicopter parenting manifesto How to Raise an Adult, which gave rise to a TED Talk that has more than 5 million views. Her second book is the critically-acclaimed and award-winning prose poetry memoir Real American, which illustrates her experience as a Black and biracial person in white spaces. I'm so fortunate to have had the opportunity to interview Julie for the podcast several years ago when that book was first released. When I heard about Julie's new book Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, I knew I wanted to invite her back to the podcast again. And, I hoped that my son Ryan, on the threshold of adulthood himself, would join us in the conversation. The stars aligned and Ryan was available the day of the interview, enabling Julie, Ryan, and I to explore the concepts of her book, about navigating adulthood and embracing our differences, especially our neurodiversity, in deeply personal and relevant ways.  In this episode, I'm also excited to share a dedication from Deborah Reber, former podcast guest, fellow mother on a quest, and host of the TiLT Parenting Podcast.Deborah's heart-felt dedication honors Julie and other mothers raising neurodivergent children. I could not agree more with Deborah's assessment about what an exceptional human Julie is, about the power of Julie's commitment to put the stories of a diverse group of young people with different identities on the pages of her book, and about the impact of Julie's work for normalizing and honoring differences.  As you hear our conversation unfold, I know you'll be as struck as I was by Julie's wisdom and humility as she talks with Ryan, helping him to understand that he deserves to be cherished for who he is, that he can approach things like writing in ways that work for his differently-wired mind, and that he can seek out environments, like college, that enables him to play to his strengths and allow him to thrive. Since our conversation, Ryan was able to take Julie's advice to heart, using voice to text without shame to write his personal statement for college applications and sharing his personal insights on a panel at the recent Stanford Neurodiversity Summit. You can follow the link in the show notes to listen.Finally, this conversation is a demonstration that there is no destination to becoming an adult, but an ongoing journey of learning and discovery, that parents and their children can support one another in reciprocity with curiosity, and that we can all benefit from asking ourselves the question from Mary Oliver's famous poem, that Julie gives us as our challenge, “What is it that we want to do with our one wild and precious life?”As we approach Thanksgiving, the five-year birthday of the launch of Mother's Quest, and my 50th birthday, I can say there is nothing I'd rather do than hold space for a conversation like this one and share it with you.   About Julie: Julie Lythcott-Haims believes in humans and is deeply interested in what gets in our way. She is the New York Times bestselling author of the anti-helicopter parenting manifesto How to Raise an Adult which gave rise to a TED Talk that has more than 5 million views. Her second book is the critically-acclaimed and award-winning prose poetry memoir Real American, which illustrates her experience as a Black and biracial person in white spaces. A third book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, is out now. Julie is a former corporate lawyer and Stanford dean, and she holds a BA from Stanford, a JD from Harvard, and an MFA in Writing from California College of the Arts. She serves on the board of Common Sense Media, and on the advisory board of LeanIn.Org, and she is a former board member at Foundation for a College Education, Global Citizen Year, The Writers Grotto, and Challenge Success. She volunteers with the hospital program No One Dies Alone. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her partner of over thirty years, their itinerant young adults, and her mother.    Connect with Julie:  Website  Twitter Instagram LinkedIn   About RyanRyan Neale is a neurodivergent 12th Grader from San Mateo, California. His parents discovered he was differently wired when he was 18 months old but he has been in fully mainstream education for his academic career, with most people around him not knowing about some of the struggles that he faces. His experiences publicly masking his neuro differences have given him a unique perspective on many of the struggles neurodiverse people face, such as public stigma, ableism, and the ever-present desire to fit in. As he has begun advocating more for his needs, he has high hopes to use his perspective and communication skills to increase public understanding of neurodiversity, and hopefully create a more inclusive society for everyone. In his free time, he enjoys playing varsity basketball for his high school team, coaching youth sports, roughhousing with his little brother, and diving headfirst into his many fantasy special interests. He is thrilled to have participated in this fall's Stanford Neurodiversity Summit on a K-12 student panel. You can listen to the panel here. Connect with Ryan:  Instagram   Topics Discussed in this Episode: How Julie's experience listening to students as a Stanford Dean and raising her own children led her to write a book about young adults The painful admission Julie shared about overlooking her own son Sawyer's challenges with ADHD and anxiety and the poignant moment when her son acknowledged Julie's shift in understanding him  The ways that Ryan identifies as neurodivergent, how he has adapted, and the pain he has experienced trying to fit in a neurotypical world  Julie's advice to Ryan about embracing who he is Her recommendation of the book Normal Sucks by Jonathan Mooney  The revelations parents can take from Julie's book How to help young adults figure out what next steps to take on their path to becoming an adult  The lessons Julie has personally gained from writing her books Julie's words of wisdom for Ryan on how to move through his resistance of writing by trying methods that might work better for his differences and strengths  The biggest takeaway that Julie learned in her research and in her own journey writing the book about how to be vulnerable and connected and open to the support of others so that you don't have to feel alone Julie's challenge for all of us that can help us live our best lives as adults   Resources and Topics Mentioned: Ep 52: Third Chapters, Raising Adults, and Loving Ourselves with Julie Lythcott-Haims  Normal Sucks by Jonathan Mooney  Julie's books Julie's Ted talk    This Episode's Challenge: Ask yourself the question from Mary Oliver's famous poem, “what do I want to do with this one wild and precious life?” Explore what would you do if it was only up to you...if nobody else's opinion really mattered. Go to a quiet place, a shower, out in nature, or on a hammock and ask yourself "What is the work that brings me joy? What are the places and spaces where I feel valued and seen?" This Episode is dedicated by Deborah Reber Debbie Reber is a parenting activist, New York Times bestselling author, podcast host, and speaker who moved her career in a more personal direction in 2016 when she founded TiLT Parenting, a top resource for parents like her who are raising differently wired children. The TiLT Parenting Podcast has grown to be a top podcast in Kids & Family, with more than 3 million downloads and a slate of guests that includes high-profile thought leaders across the parenting and education space. A certified Positive Discipline trainer and a regular contributor to Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine, Debbie's newest book is Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World. In November 2018, she spoke at TEDxAmsterdam, delivering a talk entitled Why the Future Will Be Differently Wired. In the summer of 2020, she co-created the Parenting in Place Masterclass series. Prior to launching TiLT, Debbie spent more than fifteen years writing inspiring books for women and teens, including Doable: The Girls' Guide to Accomplishing Just About Anything, Language of Love, Chill: Stress-Reducing Techniques for a More Balanced, Peaceful You, In Their Shoes: Extraordinary Women Describe Their Amazing Careers, and more than a dozen preschool books based on the series Blue's Clues. In 2008, she had the privilege of creating and editing the first-ever series of teen-authored memoirs, Louder Than Words. Before becoming a solopreneur, Debbie worked in TV and video production, producing documentaries and PSAs for CARE and UNICEF, working on Blue's Clues, and developing original series for Cartoon Network. She has an MA in Media Studies from the New School for Social Research and a BA in Communications from Pennsylvania State University. In 2019, her husband, and 17-year-old twice-exceptional son relocated to Brooklyn, NY after living in Amsterdam, the Netherlands for five years.    Connect with Deborah: https://tiltparenting.com https://instagram.com/tiltparenting https://facebook.com/groups/tilttogether https://twitter.com/tiltparenting   You can also check out my conversation with Debbie on the Mother's Quest Podcast about embracing differences here! Announcement:   Special Q & A Brunch with Julie Lythcott-Haims Join Mother's Quest and Happy Women Dinners for a special opportunity to receive Julie's new book, get it personally signed, and enjoy brunch and a Q & A with Julie at Julie Neale's private home in the SF Peninsula. Cost is $125 and includes brunch and a copy of the signed book. Email jill@happywomendinners.com to secure your spot ASAP. Tickets are sold out with the exception of a small number for Mother's Quest listeners and members.    Mother's Quest is Turning Five - Celebrate With Us! On December 1st, Mother's Quest will be celebrating it's 5th birthday. To honor this milestone, we are having a virtual celebration with poetry, music, toasts and more.  If you've been impacted by Mother's Quest and have wishes to share for our next chapter, I'd love for you to join us. Email hello@Mothersquest.com to get all the details and RSVP.    Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life. Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C). Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/

Have you ever tried to learn a language but found the process challenging and dull? Or maybe you were blessed with a special teacher that made learning an enjoyable and memorable experience.My guest this week is Dr. Ramzi Salti, a recipient of the Stanford Dean's Award for Distinguished Teaching. He is an author, a radio host and a lecturer in Arabic at Stanford University for over twenty years. He believes language goes hand in hand with learning about the culture and introduces his students to all styles of Arabic music and popular TV shows in an interactive and modern way.Today, we discuss how we met on his radio show Arabology, after my sketches from The Rania Show became a big part of his teaching. Ramzi describes how he broke free from teaching Arabic in the traditional way and how he started his Radio show in English during the Arab Spring in 2011. He also discusses his book "The Native Informant" tackling culture, family issues, and sexuality and going viral before viral even existed in 1994.In this episode, you will learn:Dr.Ramzi explains why he thinks podcasts are here to stay. (1:40)Dr.Ramzi talks about growing up in Lebanon before the civil war broke out in 1975 and his family moved to Jordan. (3:20)How Ramzi's mother was instrumental in him getting a PHD in the Arabic language. (5:00)What it felt like for Dr.Ramzi to receive the Stanford Dean's Award for Distinguished Teaching. (16:20)How Dr.Ramzi combined culture and language when teaching Arabic to his students (21:25)How breaking free was a process of unlearning the way he had been taught so he could make it more reachable to a new generation. (23:17)How Dr.Ramzi started his radio show at Stanford University KZSU (26:45)Discovering the groundbreaking and controversial Lebanese band Mashrou' Leila (31:58)How the series Ramy, winner of a Golden Globe award in 2021, was appreciated and accepted in the Arab world after it got the stamp of western legitimacy (34:38)How Rami Malek won the Oscar for playing the part of Freddie Mercury in Bohemian Rhapsody. (36:08)Dr.Salti tackled feminism and homosexuality in 1994 when he published his book The Native Informant ( six tales of defiance from the Arab world). (38:04)Dr.Ramzi Salti describes how proud he felt to be published by Three Continents Press who were famous for translating Noble prize winner author Naguib Mahfouz's books.(44:42)A reading of one of Dr.Ramzi's short stories Vivian and Her Son which is now out of print (52:00)Connect with Ramzi:Arabology Blog: arabology.orgArabology YouTube Channel: youtube.com/RamziSaltiArabology on Facebook: facebook.com/arabologyArabology Podcasts: soundcloud.com/arabology/setsStanford Profile: profiles.stanford.edu/ramzi-salti LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ramzisaltiLet's connect!FacebookInstagramTwitterLinkedInWebsiteResources mentioned:ArabologyFairuzMashrou' LeilaRamy YoussefHiam AbbasRami MalekBohemian RhapsodyThe Native Informant and other storiesThree continents pressNaguib Mahfouz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Julie Lythcott- Haims is a Black biracial woman born to an African American man and a White British mother. Because her parents violated rules and policy by daring to love, she's always questioned norms. She grew up knowing her existence was problematic in the eyes of some, which has stayed with her giving her the superpowers of compassion and kindness. She believes in humans and is deeply interested in what gets in our way.    She is the New York Times bestselling author of the anti-helicopter parenting manifesto How to Raise an Adult. It gave rise to a TED Talk that has more than 5 million views. She's just published a new book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult that speaks directly to the heart and mind of people coming into their adulthood. It's an inclusive, candid, and comprehensive guide for young adults and for those who love them.   Julie is a former corporate lawyer and a Stanford dean. She holds a BA from Stanford, a JD from Harvard, and an MFA in Writing from California College of the Arts. She serves on the board of Common Sense Media and on the advisory board of LeanIn.Org, among other roles.   Julie identifies as queer and bisexual. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her partner of over thirty years, Dan Lythcott-Haims, their two itinerant young adults, and her mother who moved in with them 20-years-ago, the subject of her next book.   SHOW NOTE LINKS: Julie Lythcott-Haims Website Your Turn- How to Be an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims Julie Lythcott-Haims Instagram Julie Lythchott-Haims Twitter Julie Lythcott-Haims Facebook The Trevor Project Rachel's Dear Family, Podcast on the topic of Sharenting Rachel's Article on Sharenting CONNECT WITH US! *Dear Family, Podcast Page *Write Now Rachel Website *Rachel's Blog @Medium *Rachel's Twitter *Facebook *Instagram   PLEASE JOIN: *Dear Family Members, the Private Facebook Group     WAYS TO HELP THE PODCAST: *PLEASE Leave a 5-Star Review and Subscribe! Thank you! Your support means the world to me. Wishing you love, happiness, and good mental health always.  

Stanford GSB Dean Jon Levin joins NFX Partner Pete Flint to discuss his perspective on new Founders entering the industry, how Stanford encourages its students to solve real-world problems with technology, macroeconomics, and the overall state of capitalism. Jon Levin started teaching at Stanford in 2000. Has been Dean of Stanford Graduate School of Business since Sept 2016 and is about to celebrate 5 years in that role. Levin received his BA and BS degrees from Stanford University in 1994, an MPhil in Economics from Oxford in 1996, and his PhD in Economics from MIT in 1999. Pete got to know Dean Levin from being on the GSB Management Board after graduating in 2005. He has also co-taught a number of cases at the GSB.

In today's interview, I am honored to talk with NYT Bestselling author and former Stanford Dean, Julie Lythcott Haims about how to be and raise an adult.   Julie Lythcott Haims is the author of the anti-helicopter parenting manifesto How to Raise an Adult and the award winning memoir Real American, which illustrates her experience as a Black and biracial person in white spaces. Julie holds a BA from Stanford and a JD from Harvard. Her third book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, was just released on April 6 2021! In this interview, Julie discusses: The ways math can be problematic or empowering What it means to be an adult and why some struggle with this Advice for parents on how to raise successful kids (without overparenting) Inspiring stories from her new book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult  You can order Your Turn here: https://bookshop.org/books/your-turn-how-to-be-an-adult/9781250137777

Julie Lythcott-Haims speaks and writes on the phenomenon of helicopter parenting and the dangers of a check-listed childhood — the subject of her book, “How to Raise an Adult.” Her viral TED talk on the same topic teaches parents not to overparent. Julie is a former corporate lawyer and Stanford Dean with degrees from Stanford, Harvard, and California College of the Arts. So much to gain from this interview on Guy Kawasaki's Remarkable People podcast with Julie Lythcott-Haims.

When Julie Lythcott-Haims worked as Stanford Dean of Freshmen, she became concerned by the seemingly increasing lack of independence of her students. Whereas students once came to college prepared to take on the world, she and other faculty began to notice an increasing reliance on parents for even the simplest of tasks. In her bestselling book How To Raise An Adult, Julie explores how the new style of over-involved parenting developed, and more importantly, why it can have such detrimental long-term effects on the next generation.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, our 'most valuable resource is and always will be the people,' Stanford dean Lloyd Minor says.

I am most fired up about my conversation with NYT bestselling author Julie Lythcott-Haims. She shares her story of her perceived failures to ultimate success and how she found her passion, and what she learned along the way. Ms. Haims encourages us to listen for and trust our inner voice because we are not here to lead anyone else’s life but our own, reminding us the importance of dreaming our dreams unapologetically.

This week Nicoletta is on location back at her Alma mater Stanford University, where she has the privilege to interview Julie Lythcott-Haims, a former Stanford Dean turned bestselling author of How to Raise an Adult and Real American: A Memoir. Join in for a heartfelt conversation about the over parenting trap, being Black in America, and sex-positive parenting.    About Julie:  https://www.julielythcotthaims.com/ Ted Talk: https://www.julielythcotthaims.com/videos Twitter: https://twitter.com/DeanJulie?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor   FOLLOW US  Twitter Instagram Facebook Send questions, comments, stories, rants to: SlutsAndScholars@gmail.com Sluts And Scholars is a production of sluts and scholars media.

This conversation with best-selling New York Times author and Ted talk speaker Julie Lythcott-Haims was over two years in the making and yet came just at the right time. Author of How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success and Real American: A Memoir, Julie’s interested in the human experience and writes non-fiction, creative non-fiction, and poetry with the aim of helping humans thrive. She has a JD from Harvard Law School, an MFA in writing from California College of the Arts and holds her BA in American Studies from Stanford University, where she later returned to serve as Dean of Freshman and Undergraduate Advising, among other roles.  She currently lives in Silicon Valley with her partner of more than thirty years, her two teenagers, and her mother. Born to an African-American father and a British mother, Julie moved often in her childhood from Nigeria to New York to Wisconsin to Washington D.C., where her father was part of the Carter Administration, and then back to Wisconsin again. Along the way, she struggled to find her identity as a bi-racial woman who faced stereotypes and micro-aggressions about her blackness that sent her on a journey from self-loathing to self-love, something she reflects on with powerful honesty in her memoir. Themes of self-exploration, self-sufficiency and service weave thread through this incredibly enriching conversation with Julie. We discuss her healing journey with her mother and how that impacts how she parents her children today. Julie shares the lessons that she learned about how to successfully raise adults from her years as the Dean at Stanford and extensive research that informs her best-selling book and popular Ted talk on the subject. She reveals the way that she has daringly made career pivots that others thought were crazy, what’s next on the horizon for her, and how she may even create her own radio show one day. And, we talk candidly about her journey to embracing self-care, about her commitment to her partner of over thirty years, and to the impact on her body and sexuality of moving toward menopause. I was struck by Julie’s continued evolution in her own awareness, and her commitment to personal growth and to pursuing her own purposeful path, parallels evident in the wisdom she holds for us about how to raise our children to be healthy adults. Finally, I’m inspired by her bold challenge to us, to look at how stereotypes and biases about black people show up in ourselves, and to do the conscious work of taking them apart. This conversation is a powerful one that has already begun to shift my awareness. I look forward to hearing what Julie’s life lessons, wisdom, and revelations shift for you when you listen.  Much appreciation,  P.S. Know someone who you think would appreciate this episode? Push forward and share this conversation! In This Episode We Talk About: Julie’s journey of healing with her mother, now 80 years old, and how a third chapter of their relationship led to reciprocal learning across three generations, between Julie’s mother, Julie, and Julie’s daughter. What happens when our egos impact our parenting and the power of realizing that we are not our kids; they’re not a mini-me, a pet, a trophy or a bonsai tree. They are their own person. What Julie’s experience as a Stanford Dean taught her about how to raise adults, including the two most essential things she learned kids need: to do chores and to be loved. How a commitment to life-long learning inspired Julie to make daring career pivots, from attorney to school administrator to writer. The three more books  that Julie knows she has inside of her. Julie’s own evolution in her understanding of what self-care means and the ways that she invests in herself today. The practices Julie has committed to with her husband to keep their thirty plus year connection strong. The impact of peri-menopause and menopause in how we feel in our bodies and on our libido in particular, and my commitment to focus a future episode on this subject. The importance of becoming aware of the stereotypes we hold about black people and Julie’s challenge to us to consciously undo them. Resources and Topics Mentioned: Thriving Child Summit – Dr. Elisa Song’s Summit where I first learned about Julie. How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success Real American: A Memoir Julie’s Ted Talk On How To Raise an Adult – the one Chris and I watched and then discussed with Ryan  Ep 05: Live your E.P.I.C. Life to Help Your Children Thrive – my conversation with Dr. Song from the Thriving Child Summit Ep 46: “Owning our Truth” with Renegade Mothering’s Janelle Hanchett Women Podcasters in Solidarity where you can find the episodes I recorded on the subjects of anti-racism and police brutality  This Episode is Dedicated by: Tamara Sobomehin, chasing the human dream, working to unleash the brilliance and potential of people by cultivating a culture of positive creation supported by the foundation of effective human and technical systems. Dedicated in honor of Tamara’s mother Paula Denise Lacy.   Street Code Academy – The organization Tamara runs with her husband Tunde.  Recharge Ravenswood – The website to learn more about Tamara’s campaign for Ravenswood City School Board.  Team Esface – The exceptional basketball program, founded by the Sobomehin brothers, that Ryan participated in and where we first met Tamara and her family.  This Week’s Challenge: For this week’s challenge, I encourage you to read Julie’s powerful memoir, The Real American, to explore the impact of stereotypes about black people on her life experience. Then, follow Julie’s invitation to notice when stereotypes about black people kick in for us. She says, “If you’re not loving black people, ask yourself why? Be interested in that. Black people are humans worthy of love, compassion and care like anybody else is. If you notice a stereotype kicks in when you see a black person, see if you can immediately say to yourself – what would I do if this was a white person? Or a person of any race other than black? When a stereotype pops up, name it and tell yourself I’m discarding it. Try interacting with that person as if they were your own brother, sister, grandmother, father, friend or family.”  It’s our job to acknowledge the impact of stereotypes and biases and undo it. Learn More About Julie: Julies Website Facebook Twitter Instagram Announcements: Mother’s Quest Circle If you’re on a quest to live an E.P.I.C. life, but you’ve been feeling challenged, isolated, or unsure of the path ahead, the Mother’s Quest Circle may be the source of connection you’re looking for. The Mother’s Quest Circle provides inspiration, coaching and community for an intimate group of no more than 10 women who are ready to say “yes” to: Reflect together, in a community of like-minded mothers, on what matters most To consciously live their version (not someone else’s) of an E.P.I.C. life To take bold action toward one of the E.P.I.C. life guideposts before the end of the sessions To hold space for sharing, coaching, and championing one another so we are “in community” on our journey If you’re looking to end the year strong, now is a great time to make an investment in yourself and what matters most to you. Apply here.  Say It. Sweat It. Get It. Challenge Sign up today to come along with me on Erin’s week-long challenge where she will give you super short, easy to follow workouts, that combine movement and mantras, to inspire you, physically, mentally and spiritually. During the challenge, I’ll release an episode on the podcast with Erin to give you insight into her journey and why movement plays such a powerful role in her life. Starts Mon. Nov. 5th! Sign up Today! Support the Podcast If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Three of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution. If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life. Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C). Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/

School's In with Dan Schwartz and Denise Pope: "Getting into College with guest Richard Shaw" Stanford Dean of Admissions Richard Shaw discusses the college admissions process and how it works. Originally aired on SiriusXM on February 17, 2018. Recorded at Stanford Video.

Parents are essential to a child’s development. But when parents get too involved in helping and directing a child’s every move, they can end up doing more harm than good. Former Stanford dean of freshman Julie Lythcott-Haims saw first-hand how parents were interfering with the lives of their college-aged children and keeping them from maturing into self-reliant adults.

Julie Lythcott-Haims has emerged as a powerful new rudder for parents. As the Dean of Freshmen at Stanford University, she recognized the first signs that overparenting was damaging our kids' abilities to function as independent adults. Then she realized, she was making the very same mistakes with her own children -- which led to her perspective-changing new book: "How To Raise An Adult: Break Free Of The Overparenting Trap And Prepare Your Kids For Success." In our conversation, @DeanJulie shares stories from the front lines, where high-achieving young adults are poorly equipped to handle the new struggles they face, and identifies the "critical mindset shifts that must take place in the head, heart, and soul of every parent."

Julie Lythcott-Haims has emerged as a powerful new rudder for parents. As the Dean of Freshmen at Stanford University, she recognized the first signs that overparenting was damaging our kids' abilities to function as independent adults. Then she realized, she was making the very same mistakes with her own children -- which led to her perspective-changing new book: "How To Raise An Adult: Break Free Of The Overparenting Trap And Prepare Your Kids For Success." In our conversation, @DeanJulie shares stories from the front lines, where high-achieving young adults are poorly equipped to handle the new struggles they face, and identifies the "critical mindset shifts that must take place in the head, heart, and soul of every parent."

Lian Dolan and Julie Dolan on the Satellite Sisters Tuesday podcast, including an in-depth discussion on College Admissions Tips from a former Stanford Dean., Julie Lythcott-Haims Have a rising Senior at home and got a check list for him or her for the summer? Think again. Order her book How to Raise and Adult here Plus, an Op-Ed from the New York Times advocates defaulting on your student loans without regret. Read the article Why I Defaulted on my Student Loans here and join in the discussion.    Community Service follow-up  Lian brings in comments from the Satellite Sisterhood on mandatory community serive requirements for middle school and high school.    Tuesday Trends: The Uniform. An Art Director wears exactly the same thing to work everyday. Would you? Take a look at the art director's style here.    Movie & TV Round-up:   Lian recommends Far From the Madding Crowd, Gemma Bovary and Odd Mom Out  

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