Podcasts about additude magazine

In this episode: Jen talks about her frustration and anger at the gravely irresponsible and chock full of what seems like willful disinformation spreading article in the Sunday New York Times Magazine titled “Have We Been Thinking About ADHD All Wrong?” Jen let's the experts speak for her and she reads the intelligent analysis done by Dr. Russell Barkley and the editors of ADDitude Magazine. SHOW NOTES: For bonus episodes, transcripts, video classes, AMA's, a private chat community and more - go GET A LOT in the “You Are a LOT” podcast Patreon community. Start with a 7-day free trial at any level, and when you join, take 15% off if you subscribe annually. Visit the “You Are A Lot” (an ADHD/AuDHD Podcast) webpage Subscribe to the “This Is A Lot” Newsletter 15% Off HUGIMALS weighted stuffed animals 15% off APPOINTED planners & notebooks 20% off UnHide Weighted Blankets & Pillows 30 FREE DAYS to BRAIN FM Wire Your Brain For Focus! Send an email to the podcast at alotadhdpod at gmail dot com SOURCES USED FOR THIS EPISODE: ADDitude Magazine: Setting The Record Straight Dr. Russell Barkley On YouTube  

​In this special 9-year anniversary episode, I'm doing things a little differently. Instead of a guest interview, I'm doing a solocast in which I share nine shifts I've noticed in the parenting paradigm for those of us raising neurodivergent kids over the past almost decade since I first founded Tilt. Some of the things I explore in this episode include the evolution of language within the neurodiversity movement, the increased recognition of dual diagnoses like Autistic ADHD and new identifications such as PDA, how concepts like Polyvagal theory and co-reguation have profoundly changed the ways differently wired children are understood, the importance of centering neurodivergent voices, and much more. * I've put together a special anniversary playlist of the podcast episodes I reference in this episode over on Spotify. To listen to that, click here.*   About Debbie Debbie Reber, MA is a parenting activist, bestselling author, speaker, and the CEO and founder of Tilt Parenting, a resource, top-performing podcast, consultancy, and community with a focus on shifting the paradigm for parents raising and embracing neurodivergent children. A regular contributor to Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine, and the author of more than a dozen books for children and teens, Debbie's most recent book is Differently Wired: A Parent's Guide to Raising an Atypical Child with Confidence and Hope.   Resources mentioned Dr. Megan Anna Neff and Neurodivergent Insights Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price, PhD Are you autistic? How a 'lost generation' of women on the spectrum went under the radar (The Telegraph)  The lost girls: ‘Chaotic and curious, women with ADHD all have missed red flags that haunt us' (The Guardian) The Electricity of Every Living Thing: A Woman's Walk in the Wild to Find Her Way Home by Katherine May Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May Is This Autism? A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else by Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland Dr. Stephen Porges Brain-Body Parenting: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids by Dr. Mona Delahooke Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges by Dr. Mona Delahooke Deb Dana's website, Rhythm of Regulation Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana Navigating PDA in America: A Framework to Support Anxious, Demand-Avoidant Autistic Children, Teens, and Young Adults  by Ruth Fidler and Diane Gould The Family Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker Normal Sucks: How to Live, Learn and Thrive Outside the Lines by Jonathan Mooney Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Aspergers by John Elder Robison Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally by Emily Ladau Unmasking for Life: The Autistic Person's Guide to Connecting, Loving, and Living Authentically by Dr. Devon Price Executive Function Coach Seth Perler Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Helping Kids Regulate Their Emotions – Without Escalating the ChaosEmotional regulation isn't just about calming kids down—it's about teaching them how to handle their emotions effectively. In this episode, Dr. Caroline chats with Leslie Josel, ADHD parenting coach and executive function expert, to break down why emotional regulation is a crucial executive function skill—and how we can support kids without making things worse.You'll learn: ✔️ Why kids' executive function struggles make emotions even harder to manage ✔️ The #1 mistake adults make when responding to kids' emotional outbursts ✔️ How to de-escalate meltdowns by working with the child's brain, not against it ✔️ Simple strategies to set limits without power strugglesPlus, Leslie shares practical, real-life scripts to help kids feel heard while keeping the peace at home. Tune in and transform the way you handle emotional moments!Prefer to watch? Check it out: https://youtu.be/EjuaF-8mCsYHomework Ideas to Rewire Your Responses to Emotional OutburstsStart with one strategy today and see the difference!

In this episode of Parents of the Year, Andrew and Caroline chat with Leslie Josel, an ADHD parenting coach and founder of Order Out of Chaos, to break down executive functioning, mood regulation, and the real reasons kids struggle with motivation, focus, and follow-through.What you'll learn:✅ Why lazy is the one word parents should never use✅ How executive functioning challenges impact kids (and why it's not just ADHD)✅ Practical strategies for helping kids manage their time, emotions, and tasks✅ The power of consistent structure and how to set boundaries kids will respect✅ Why negotiation (not control) leads to better behavior and less stressPLUS: Leslie shares how shifting just a few words in how you communicate with your child can lead to big changes in cooperation and motivation.

Raising kids with ADHD can be a journey filled with unique challenges and incredible growth opportunities. In this episode, we dive into a dynamic and insightful conversation with Ryan Wexelblatt, widely known as the ADHD Dude. We'll uncover powerful strategies to help parents guide their children with ADHD toward greater independence and resilience. From cultivating a growth mindset to tackling social and executive function hurdles, this episode equips parents with practical tools to empower their kids to flourish.Don't miss this episode with Ryan Wexelblatt and discover effective ways to support your child's development and unlock their full potential.Here is what to expect on this week's show:How parents can foster resilience by avoiding over-accommodationInsights into the concept of “anti-fragility” and why kids are more resilient than we thinkPractical strategies to transition kids from prompt dependence to independenceThe importance of fostering social executive function skills and the role of unstructured playWhy skill development is inconsistent and how parents can support progress over timeAbout Ryan WexelblattRyan Wexelblatt, known as the ADHD Dude, is a licensed clinical social worker, ADHD-certified provider, and founder of ADHD Dude. With 20+ years in special education, he specializes in practical, evidence-based strategies for children and teens managing ADHD. A father to a child with ADHD, he offers both professional expertise and personal insight. Based in Philadelphia, Ryan contributes to ADDitude Magazine and CHADD, speaks at the International Conference on ADHD, co-hosts the ADHD Guys Podcast, and reaches families worldwide through his ADHD Dude YouTube channel.Connect with Ryan:Website: https://www.adhddude.com/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDDudeEmail: ryanwex@gmail.com | theadhddude@gmail.com Related Links:Welcome to Parenting With Impact:https://tinyurl.com/3dsedjd6Behavior Therapy:https://tinyurl.com/5n85at37Parenting Young Boys with Difficult Behaviors: https://tinyurl.com/2jtaw2ssRe-Imagining Parenting: 7 Resilience Strategies for Today's World:https://tinyurl.com/3ybf8jtpChanging What Kids Believe About Themselves:https://tinyurl.com/7nbjn8w3Pediatric Neurologist on Parenting ADHD: Focus on What Matters:https://tinyurl.com/sbpshh5uEffective Child Therapy.orghttps://tinyurl.com/4xay937dhttps://tinyurl.com/2s4c6nddGet your FREE copy of 12 Key Coaching Tools for Parents at https://impactparents.com/gift.Connect with Impact Parents:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparentsFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParentLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparentsX: https://twitter.com/ImpactParents

In this episode, we dive into the unique experience of living with AuDHD by exploring its strengths and challenges, as well as practical strategies for navigating life in a way that works for you. From creativity and hyperfocus to sensory sensitivities and executive dysfunction, we unpack how these traits present differently in each individual and offer actionable solutions tailored to diverse needs—including no-cost or low-budget options. We also address the critical issue of burnout and how to prevent it by structuring your work and life to align with your neurodivergent brain.Whether you're looking to embrace your unique strengths, find strategies for daily challenges, or simply feel seen and understood, this episode offers fresh insights and encouragement for the AuDHD community.Sources Referenced in This Episode: 1. American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.). 2. Mindful Neurodivergence. (2024). “Mindfulness Practices for Emotional Regulation in Neurodivergent Adults.” 3. Neurodivergent Perspectives Quarterly. (2024). “Understanding Sensory Overload in AuDHD.” 4. ADDitude Magazine. (2024). “Preventing Burnout in ADHD and Autism.” 5. Autism Research Institute. (2024). “Burnout in Neurodivergent Adults: Causes and Strategies.” 6. The Journal of Neurodivergent Creativity. (2024). “Harnessing Creativity in ADHD and Autism.” 7. Camilleri, J. A., et al. (2023). “Cold water therapy for emotional regulation: Impacts on the nervous system.” Journal of Behavioral Science. 8. Focusmate. (2024). “How Body Doubling Increases Productivity in Neurodivergent Individuals.”Tune in to learn how to recognize your unique strengths, overcome challenges, and build a life that celebrates your neurodivergence. You've got this!

Healing Through Stories: Addressing Mental Health, Emotions, and Empathy   Suicide Zen Forgiveness brings together Gina Cavalier and Dr. Amelia Kelly to discuss their collaborative book on suicidal ideation and healing. The conversation spans personal and professional insights, the power of community support, and the necessity of processing emotions. They explore the role of practices like gratitude exercises, meditation alternatives, and Internal Family Systems therapy in maintaining emotional balance. The importance of presence, self-compassion, and empathetic listening is highlighted. Future projects, including Gina's book and documentary, and Dr. Amelia's ADHD support group and podcast, emphasize ongoing efforts to support mental health, especially for highly sensitive individuals.   00:00 Introduction and Mission Statement 01:24 Meet the Guests: Gina Cavalier and Dr. Amelia Kelly 02:53 Gina's Journey: Healing Suicidal Ideation 06:11 Dr. Amelia Kelly: Trauma Work and Writing 09:22 The Importance of Proactive Mental Health Content 15:45 Creating Safe Spaces for Emotional Expression 29:04 Finding Comfort in Small Moments 30:25 The Challenge of Forgiveness 32:25 Self-Love and Healing 34:12 Understanding Internal Family Systems 38:11 Generational Differences in Upbringing 42:19 Future Projects and Aspirations 47:51 Closing Thoughts and Encouragement 49:54 Outro and Acknowledgements   Bios Gina Marie Cavalier is a mental health advocate, author, filmmaker, artist, speaker and spiritual teacher.   She is also the founder of The Liberated Healer, where she is building a 360º ecosystem in mental health with a focus on healing suicidal ideation through various products, meditation and healing courses, books, support groups, a six-part docuseries, and a mobile and web application that allows brands to cover fees for therapy and healing sessions. Gina Marie is a media veteran, former entertainment studio executive and technology enthusiast, having contributed to over 300 film/TV titles.   As a public speaker, she has delivered talks on mental health and well-being in front of a live audience of over six hundred attendees at the Warner Bros. studio lot. Gina Marie has participated in several events, summits, and conferences as a speaker and has been invited to twenty-five podcasts since February 2024. She currently resides in Los Angeles, CA. Links and Socials https://www.theliberatedhealer.com/ https://www.instagram.com/theliberatedhealer https://www.youtube.com/@TheLiberatedHealer https://www.linkedin.com/in/ginacavalier/ ----------------------------------------------- Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, author, co-host of The Sensitivity Doctor's Podcast, researcher, and certified meditation and yoga instructor. Her specialties include art therapy, internal family systems (IFS), EMDR, and brainspotting. Her work focuses on women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, highly sensitive persons, motivation, healthy living, neurodiversity and adult ADHD. She is a psychology professor at Yorkville University and a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on SiriusXM Doctor Radio's The Psychiatry Show as well as NPR's The Measure of Everyday Life. Her private practice is part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is the author of Powered by ADHD: Strategies and Exercises for Women to Harness Their Untapped Gifts, Gaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse, coauthor of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship, Surviving Suicidal Ideation: From Therapy to Spirituality and the Lived Experience, and is a contributing author for Psychology Today, ADDitude Magazine as well as Highly Sensitive Refuge, the world's largest blog for HSPs. Her work has been featured in Teen Vogue, Yahoo News, Pure Wow, Lifehacker, Well + Good and many others.  Dr. Kelley resides near Raleigh, NC. Links and Socials https://www.ameliakelley.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drameliakelley https://www.facebook.com/DrAmeliaKelley/ https://www.tiktok.com/@_drameliakelley https://www.ameliakelley.com/podcast/

Healing Through Stories: Addressing Mental Health, Emotions, and Empathy   Suicide Zen Forgiveness brings together Gina Cavalier and Dr. Amelia Kelly to discuss their collaborative book on suicidal ideation and healing. The conversation spans personal and professional insights, the power of community support, and the necessity of processing emotions. They explore the role of practices like gratitude exercises, meditation alternatives, and Internal Family Systems therapy in maintaining emotional balance. The importance of presence, self-compassion, and empathetic listening is highlighted. Future projects, including Gina's book and documentary, and Dr. Amelia's ADHD support group and podcast, emphasize ongoing efforts to support mental health, especially for highly sensitive individuals.   00:00 Introduction and Mission Statement 01:24 Meet the Guests: Gina Cavalier and Dr. Amelia Kelly 02:53 Gina's Journey: Healing Suicidal Ideation 06:11 Dr. Amelia Kelly: Trauma Work and Writing 09:22 The Importance of Proactive Mental Health Content 15:45 Creating Safe Spaces for Emotional Expression 29:04 Finding Comfort in Small Moments 30:25 The Challenge of Forgiveness 32:25 Self-Love and Healing 34:12 Understanding Internal Family Systems 38:11 Generational Differences in Upbringing 42:19 Future Projects and Aspirations 47:51 Closing Thoughts and Encouragement 49:54 Outro and Acknowledgements   Bios Gina Marie Cavalier is a mental health advocate, author, filmmaker, artist, speaker and spiritual teacher.   She is also the founder of The Liberated Healer, where she is building a 360º ecosystem in mental health with a focus on healing suicidal ideation through various products, meditation and healing courses, books, support groups, a six-part docuseries, and a mobile and web application that allows brands to cover fees for therapy and healing sessions. Gina Marie is a media veteran, former entertainment studio executive and technology enthusiast, having contributed to over 300 film/TV titles.   As a public speaker, she has delivered talks on mental health and well-being in front of a live audience of over six hundred attendees at the Warner Bros. studio lot. Gina Marie has participated in several events, summits, and conferences as a speaker and has been invited to twenty-five podcasts since February 2024. She currently resides in Los Angeles, CA. Links and Socials https://www.theliberatedhealer.com/ https://www.instagram.com/theliberatedhealer https://www.youtube.com/@TheLiberatedHealer https://www.linkedin.com/in/ginacavalier/ ----------------------------------------------- Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, author, co-host of The Sensitivity Doctor's Podcast, researcher, and certified meditation and yoga instructor. Her specialties include art therapy, internal family systems (IFS), EMDR, and brainspotting. Her work focuses on women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, highly sensitive persons, motivation, healthy living, neurodiversity and adult ADHD. She is a psychology professor at Yorkville University and a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on SiriusXM Doctor Radio's The Psychiatry Show as well as NPR's The Measure of Everyday Life. Her private practice is part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is the author of Powered by ADHD: Strategies and Exercises for Women to Harness Their Untapped Gifts, Gaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse, coauthor of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship, Surviving Suicidal Ideation: From Therapy to Spirituality and the Lived Experience, and is a contributing author for Psychology Today, ADDitude Magazine as well as Highly Sensitive Refuge, the world's largest blog for HSPs. Her work has been featured in Teen Vogue, Yahoo News, Pure Wow, Lifehacker, Well + Good and many others.  Dr. Kelley resides near Raleigh, NC. Links and Socials https://www.ameliakelley.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drameliakelley https://www.facebook.com/DrAmeliaKelley/ https://www.tiktok.com/@_drameliakelley https://www.ameliakelley.com/podcast/

In this episode of The Wholesome Fertility Podcast, Dr. Amelia Kelley @drameliakelley , a trauma-informed therapist, discusses her journey and insights into high sensitivity, coping mechanisms, and the impact of trauma on mental health. She explores the differences between empathy and compassion, the importance of understanding one's nervous system, and shares her personal fertility journey, highlighting the integration of holistic approaches such as acupuncture and herbal medicine. In this conversation, Dr. Amelia Kelley and Michelle explore the complexities of pregnancy loss, trauma, and the role of the nervous system in fertility. They discuss the importance of letting go of control and embracing spirituality, as well as the dynamics of being a highly sensitive person (HSP). The conversation delves into the benefits of body awareness and how it can aid in healing, while also addressing the challenges HSPs face in relationships and daily life. Ultimately, they highlight the adaptive nature of high sensitivity and its prevalence in the population, encouraging listeners to embrace their sensitivity as a gift rather than a burden.   Takeaways   Coping skills should be viewed as a lifestyle. High sensitivity is a genetic trait, not a flaw. Empathy can have negative health effects. Highly sensitive people require more alone time for regulation. Generational trauma can impact reproductive health. Understanding one's nervous system is crucial for coping. Holistic approaches can aid in fertility journeys. Stress and nervous system balance are crucial for fertility. Highly sensitive people (HSPs) experience the world differently. Body awareness can enhance healing processes. HSPs often respond more positively to therapeutic interventions. High sensitivity is an adaptive trait found in many individuals. Embracing sensitivity can lead to greater self-awareness and compassion.   Guest Bio:   Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, author, co-host of The Sensitivity Doctor's Podcast, researcher, and certified meditation and yoga instructor. Her specialties include art therapy, internal family systems (IFS), EMDR, and brainspotting. Her work focuses on women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, highly sensitive persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD.    She is currently a psychology professor at Yorkville University and a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on SiriusXM Doctor Radio's The Psychiatry Show as well as NPR's The Measure of Everyday Life. Her private practice is part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute.    She is the author of Powered by ADHD: Strategies and Exercises for Women to Harness their Untapped Gifts (whichhas a corresponding online support group!), Gaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse, coauthor of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship, as well as Surviving Suicidal Ideation: From Therapy to Spirituality and the Lived Experience, and a contributing author for Psychology Today, ADDitude Magazine, as well as Highly Sensitive Refuge, the world's largest blog for HSPs. Her work has been featured in Teen Vogue, Yahoo News, Lifehacker, Well + Good and Insider.   You can find out more about her work at https://www.ameliakelley.com.   Follow her on Instagram @drameliakelley   https://www.instagram.com/drameliakelley/   https://www.facebook.com/DrAmeliaKelley   https://www.linkedin.com/in/drameliakelley/   https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-your-corner       For more information about Michelle, visit: www.michelleoravitz.com   Check out Michelle's Latest Book: The Way of Fertility! https://www.michelleoravitz.com/thewayoffertility   The Wholesome FertilityFacebook group is where you can find free resources and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2149554308396504/   Instagram: @thewholesomelotusfertility   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thewholesomelotus/     Transcript:     Michelle (00:00) Welcome to the podcast Amelia.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (00:02) Thank you for having me. It's good to see you again.   Michelle (00:04) It's so good to see you. So Amelia's had me on her podcast, the sensitivity doctors in the past, and I would love for you to share your background. I am really interested and very intrigued by what you do because it's something that we spoke about. I totally relate to. I love the fact that you've authored so many books and have such an interesting background. So I would love to have the.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (00:26) Hehehe   Michelle (00:30) audience hear you.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (00:32) Sure. Well, I'm currently in my office. So I'm a trauma informed therapist, professor, and podcaster, which is how you and I met. And I've been in the field for 20 years now. I primarily work with trauma of various forms, but a lot of it is interpersonal trauma, relationship trauma, some issues with sexual abuse, some instances where I also work with per...   a lot of first responders, so cops, doctors, and also folks from the military. So I'd say that my work is kind of an intersection. I sometimes call myself an integrative therapist because just before our session, I was doing a yoga therapy session. I do everything from EMDR, brain spotting, yoga therapy, art therapy is actually my background, sand play therapy.   Michelle (01:02) Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (01:27) I'm so into the brain too. I mean, I'm not, I would not say that my practice is comprehensive in neurofeedback. We do some minor interventions, but I love referring my clients to practitioners in the area to make sure that their brain health is on par too. And I also love referring to Carolina Clinic of Natural Medicine is my favorite in the area, but they do things like acupuncture and.   Michelle (01:40) Hmm.   Mm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (01:54) kind of holistic health, which I know really aligns with what you do. So, yeah.   Michelle (01:59) it's interesting because as you start to do anything, you start to find out how many different layers and different ways and methodologies that certain people respond to better than others. there's just so many different methods. And I think that some people just respond better to some.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (02:10) Right.   Right.   yeah. I think that's a great thing about coping skills. First and foremost, I love the idea of obliterating this idea that a coping skill is like work or that it's something that you only do when you're struggling. I think it's more of a lifestyle. And everyone is going to respond differently. Like I know I personally...   Michelle (02:35) Yes.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (02:41) water is very big for me. Like if I'm really stressed or I'm dysregulated, getting in hot water or cold water is very regulating for my nervous system. Whereas I have clients who the last thing they want to do when they're stressed or dysregulated is shower or get in water. It's actually one of the first things that they stop wanting to do.   Michelle (02:51) Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (03:04) So it's so interesting seeing how we all respond differently, I think, in our own unique nervous system when we're under stress.   Michelle (03:11) Yeah, definitely. I find that also with my patients. mean, some people, be much more open to like things like meditation, other people, there's other ways to self soothing, which I call it, because ultimately, that's really what it is. So yeah, it definitely isn't work. sounds like work.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (03:20) Mm   Mm-hmm.   Right.   Michelle (03:30) but it's not work. think the biggest work is really the strategy and kind of figuring it out. But ultimately it's really there to soothe you at times that you feel overwhelmed.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (03:35) Mm-hmm.   Absolutely. I couldn't agree more.   Michelle (03:44) So let's talk about the sensitive person because I've always felt that that was something that I can describe myself as when I was younger. It was something that I felt I found myself more overwhelmed by noises, by certain people's energy than other people. And people would just be like, you're too sensitive or you focus on things too much. And   Dr. Amelia Kelley (03:52) Mm   Okay.   Michelle (04:08) It was something that I realized, as I met other people like me. I was like, wait, this is kind of a thing. And then when I learned about it, that it really is a thing, I found it really interesting. And it also, I found it very comforting. So it's like, okay, I'm like, I'm not abnormal. Like this isn't crazy. Yeah. So I would love for you to talk about that. So I feel like a lot of people can relate.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (04:14) Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Right, Mm-hmm.   Definitely, and I know my aha moment was a big deal to me. It was years ago now. I stumbled upon Dr. Elaine Aaron, who is kind of the pioneer of some of the modern research on high sensitivity on her documentary, Sensitive, the Untold Story.   And it was one of those light bulb aha moments that made so much of my life make sense. Interestingly though, when I dug a little deeper, she was not the of the originator of this. It was actually research done in the 80s on babies and their responses to different stimuli. Things like they had...   Michelle (04:59) you   Mm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (05:17) auditory stimulation with like a creepy face making sound. had light stimulation, physical stimulation. And what they found was that the babies who were more reactive, they were calling high reactive babies, you know, which down the road became high sensitivity. But the really interesting thing is that the researchers went and followed up with these babies who are now in their midlife, you know, they're in their   I'd say probably 40s at this point, 30s and 40s. And they're finding that those high reactive babies still are more reactive adults. And so this doesn't mean someone who's highly emotional or can't control their temper when we think of reactivity. It's more, what is your reaction to sensory input? And certain brains, it is genetic.   Michelle (06:07) Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (06:10) So it's a predisposition. It is a genetic trait. It is not a diagnosis. It is not something to fix. It is rather something to learn from and grow with and manage and live life in that way. And so it's highly genetic. And for that reason, I'm not surprised I have kids who are definitely highly sensitive. And high sensitivity can express in so many different ways. It can look like   Michelle (06:10) you   Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (06:39) hypersensitivity to medication, sensitivity to light, to sound, to being rushed to other people's emotions. That's a big part. The empathy piece is very strong. I think it's really important to understand the difference between empathy and compassion when we consider highly sensitive people. you, like when I say that, does that make sense to you? Do you want me to unpack that?   Michelle (06:52) Mm-hmm.   It does. mean, so what I'm perceiving in that is that empathy is kind of like almost giving more of your own personal energy to something versus just feeling compassion and understanding that another person's emotions or perspectives without almost taking it on. I'm not sure if I'm on or not.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (07:08) Mm-hmm.   Well, mean, I think that's we can all define it differently, but I guess if I was going to scientifically define compassion and empathy. So empathy is our ability to feel what someone else is feeling. We all tend to know that definition. However, the interesting thing is that empathy has a negative impact on your immune health and it increases inflammation. Right. And so when we consider the fact that highly sensitive people   Michelle (07:34) Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Well, that's interesting.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (07:56) have more active mirror neurons, which means the areas of their brain designed to plan social interactions, problem solving around social interactions, and even something as simple as, as a highly sensitive person, one of my ways to decompress is to watch like trashy reality TV at night. And so I will find myself as I'm watching these dating shows, smiling with the contestants.   Michelle (08:15) Yeah   Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (08:23) or frowning with them. Sometimes I kind of laugh when I catch myself doing it. As a highly sensitive person, those areas of the brain are so much more active. And so it does make us have higher levels of empathy. But when you consider the fact that that can negatively impact your body, if you don't have enough boundaries around them, empathy is pro-social. It helps us get along, but also too much can be draining.   Michelle (08:32) Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (08:50) And so compassion is actually kind of the anecdote to empathy because compassion is centered around the desire to act or help. And so this, when we think of self-compassion, the act of speaking to yourself kindly is an act. So you empathize for yourself, I feel bad today because I made a mistake. Just thinking of an example. The compassion is,   Michelle (08:50) Right.   Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (09:18) I'm going to choose to speak to myself kindly and with love because that will be curative for me. Whereas if you stay in an empathy response, you just continue to feel bad about whatever mistake you made, right? And so for highly sensitive people, it's exponentially important to lean into compassion and we can't all go out and save the world all the time. So sometimes this looks like well-wishing meditation.   Michelle (09:24) Done it.   Got it.   Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (09:46) processing with other like-minded people, those can be ways to express compassion that doesn't all have to be going out. And I remember, do you remember the movie Free Willy?   Michelle (09:58) yeah, but I don't remember if I saw it or I don't remember the actual movie. wait, though. It was the one with the whale, right? Yes. Yeah.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (10:06) Right, it was fiction, obviously, but as an HSP or an HSC at the time, a highly sensitive child, when that movie was over, I was destroyed at the thought of all these whales in the world who need help. And so my gracious parents who encouraged my sensitivity helped me find an organization where could adopt a whale. So it's like, and I mean, who knows what's happening. We probably paid $20 and...   Michelle (10:29) that's cute.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (10:34) I've adopted a whale, who knows, but it was the act of taking my empathy response and putting it into action with compassion that was curative for my little highly sensitive child heart.   Michelle (10:34) Yeah.   Hmm.   That's beautiful. actually really love that. And it also makes you feel like there's more purpose in the feelings that you're having. You're kind of taking the feelings and creating purpose with it.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (10:57) Absolutely. That's such a way of putting it.   Michelle (11:01) And one thing too, that I was thinking about when you were talking about being highly sensitive, which I could tell you right now, I 100 % am self-diagnosed. The nervous system, I think to myself about the nervous system and possibly that having something to do with it, just having a more heightened sensitive nervous system.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (11:09) Mm-hmm   Mm-hmm.   Michelle (11:22) Besides obviously the antidote and kind of like using or acting or doing, to translate the empathy, but as one part of regulating the nervous system, learning to manage the nervous system, doing things like you said, like when you get home, take a shower, do something that really connects with your nervous system, I feel like is a really great tool. And figuring out what that is, is that something that you often look into?   Dr. Amelia Kelley (11:49) Absolutely. Because if you think about just a handful of the questions that I was posing that help you identify if you're highly sensitive, a lot of them have to do with nervous system response. highly sensitives are more responsive to caffeine, drugs and alcohol, pain tolerance, hunger cues even, are more, you know, felt more intensely. So with HSPs, the nervous system, specifically the limbic   system is more active. And this is something that can be seen on actual scans of HSP brains. It is. It's wild. so I was having a really interesting conversation with Michael Allison, who is one of the instructors for the Polyvagal Institute. And he was talking about, I don't think if he really fully bought into the HSP thing, I think he sees everything through the Polyvagal world.   Michelle (12:20) Mm-hmm.   That's so interesting.   Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (12:48) And which I totally appreciate. There's different ways to look at our nervous systems. But he said something when we were talking about highly sensitive that really struck a chord to your point about the nervous system. He was saying when our nervous system alerts danger and for him that means the vagal break is off and the vagus nerve is overactive, the heart rate is up, fight flight. When we're not feeling safe.   It's usually because we're attending to something we think we need to attend to because it's out of sorts. And so the highly sensitive person, a look on your face could alert danger to me. Like someone seeming off or upset or concerned could signal that. And so for the highly sensitive person,   Michelle (13:23) Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (13:42) They need more time and research has shown up to two hours of unstructured alone time per day is most quote prescribed for highly sensitive. And so the reason being is that our baseline is higher all the time. And so we need more things to regulate the nervous system so that sounds and things and emotions aren't pulling us out of our safety zone so quickly.   Michelle (13:49) Mm-hmm.   Right.   Mm-hmm.   my God, that makes sense on so many levels. I always felt like I needed, I need alone time. Like after a while, I just need to be by myself. need quiet. I need peace. And I totally understand what you're saying. And then also what's interesting is I remember when I was younger, always being afraid, like if somebody was mad at me or like, I would kind of feel a tone of like, my God, are they mad at me? And I get like really upset. And now I had to like learn to   Dr. Amelia Kelley (14:19) Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Yes.   Michelle (14:42) just be like, okay, it's not that big of a deal. Maybe they were having a bad day, you know, sort of speak to myself on that, but that makes sense. And then I noticed that with my daughter, if sometimes I'll be busy and I won't respond with like a, you know, a full response, I'll be like, okay, okay, we'll talk later or whatever. Are you mad at me? And I always tell her, believe me, I would tell you I'm pretty clear about like what I'm happy about and not happy, you know.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (14:52) Mmm.   Hmm.   Right.   Michelle (15:07) And, but it's interesting. She'll kind of read between the lines with me. And she's like me, she just took after me. So it's kind of, yeah, so she's 19.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (15:12) Mm   How old is she, I ask? OK, so she's older. I was going to say, I know a great workbook, but it's for younger kids. yeah, she definitely, especially if you are too, it wouldn't surprise me that she would also be highly sensitive because it is so genetic.   Michelle (15:23) Yeah.   And she got like that more as she got older when she went to college than even before, for some reason. I don't know if maybe because she has a lot more going on or, she's starting to regulate on a different level, her nervous system. Cause I think that coming from home, things shift and change.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (15:39) Mm-hmm.   Right.   Totally. mean, think it's research has shown that some high sensitivity traits, you know, can be very present in childhood, but then there's other different types of traits that become more expressed later in life. But   Michelle (16:04) Mm-hmm. Yeah.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (16:06) I also beg to say, let's look at the external factors. You look at someone who is a highly sensitive child who didn't have to raise children, work a job, manage a home. So when you just keep adding more to your exactly, that can make those traits become more expressed too, I believe.   Michelle (16:16) Yeah, right.   Yep, responsibility. Yeah, for sure.   So I want to actually take this into your own journey, because I know you've had your fertility journey, because a lot of listeners, are going through the fertility journey. And I know a lot of people just based on my own clients and patients that are very sensitive and highly sensitive as well.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (16:38) Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Michelle (16:48) I work a lot with them on, I don't know if you've ever heard of the NADA protocol. It's really good for PTSD. NADA, it's used, it's, yeah, yeah. So NADA, and it's a protocol that they use on the ears. it's like a, it's a series of ear points that we use like altogether.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (16:54) No. I love learning new things. Tell me. NADA. I have nothing to write on. Okay.   Michelle (17:12) And it works on regulating the nervous system. And it actually works amazing on it's even had published studies on working with vets, people with PTSD, like really major PTSD. Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's, it's really, really interesting. And, and also interestingly enough,   Dr. Amelia Kelley (17:23) I need a pen. Let me just grab one.   Do you use the mustard seeds or is it actual needles?   Michelle (17:33) So you could use the seeds. I use needles. I use needles. then some people, no, no, they're not mustard seeds, but they're seeds. And then some of the studies that were published, I think they even added electric stimulation. And what's interesting is it's not just really great for   Dr. Amelia Kelley (17:36) They're probably not called mustard seeds. I forgot what are they actually.   Mm-hmm.   cool.   Thank   Michelle (17:51) PTSD, but it's also really good for addiction. And interesting, if you think about the two, like what do they have in common? They're kind of like, it runs, they run on a loop. You know, it's this repeated either thoughts or behaviors. And it seems to kind of have that in common. Obviously it's two different things, but sometimes can cross over.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (17:56) wow.   Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   I love that. It's funny. It looks like you're on my podcast right now. So I'm like, let me take notes on what you're saying. You're so smart and knowledgeable in these areas. I love it. I will definitely check that out. I would be so curious if that's something that there are, like I said, a lot of veterans and addicts that I work with. And so I'm definitely going to look into that.   Michelle (18:16) So.   No, no, I know. It will...   I feel the same about you. it makes for a great conversation.   Yeah, definitely look into the studies. I think that that's, seeing the studies and seeing the numbers really makes a difference. And so that aspect of it is amazing. And also Joe dispense does work a lot of what he does helps tons of people with PTSD, like, they do scans and study the brains. It's pretty impactful. Yeah. Yeah. So back to you though, I would love to talk to you about how you feel, your nervous system.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (18:47) Mm-hmm.   That's really neat.   Michelle (19:10) Like how were you able to figure out a way to balance yourself through the journey, knowing what you know, and how do you think it's impacted you on that nervous system level and like the trauma, because I know that it can be very traumatic, even though people don't often talk about it like that. It should be, it should be highlighted in that way so that more people have awareness around it because it really is a very difficult process.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (19:16) Right.   Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Michelle (19:37) has even been compared to a cancer diagnosis. It's really significant.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (19:41) Wow. Well, and I actually have something about my story that integrates the two. So I think when I really look now and I understand my nervous system better, I think that the generational trauma that I was carrying with me into my reproductive years that I didn't understand that I didn't understand my high sensitivity. I didn't have a name for it. I didn't realize that that's what that was. I just thought.   I just felt too much all the time. What I think that was doing was that when I was ready to try to start having a family is that I had been in flight mode. And when people think of flight mode, they think of like running the coop. I had been in flight mode being overly productive. And I laugh because I'm still overly productive, but it's in a different energy now. It's in a completely different energy than it was then. But.   Michelle (20:34) Yeah.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (20:39) This flight mode, think what it was doing is it was putting my nervous system in a state, like you said on my podcast, where it was never able to rest. It was never able to replenish. so my cycle was totally dysregulated. I ended up, I don't know how detailed you want me to get, but I'm happy to share. OK, OK. So I started off, we had tried to get pregnant for a couple of years and it wasn't working. And at the time, I think about it,   Michelle (20:58) you can get as detailed as you need.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (21:09) I was in my doctoral program. I was working at a women's clinic and the methadone clinic and trying to start my practice all at the same time and just live life and be like a normal adult. And so we went the route of Western medicine at first. I love my doctor and he worked with me through the whole journey, but we tried Clomid and I got pregnant. But I think now that I know what I know about egg quality, thank you, Rebecca Fett. She's amazing.   Michelle (21:19) Bye.   Yeah, she's phenomenal. I know I've tried, but she like, she wasn't really doing them. Maybe she is now, but let me know if you get her. She's great. Yes.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (21:40) my gosh, I need to get her on my podcast. Let's like.   We're going to like, we'll just go not tap, tap, tap. Come on. now that I understand what I know now about egg quality, I think that the clomid forced an egg that really wasn't ready to be fertilized. And so we miscarried that baby. And that was the first miscarriage and definitely the most shocking and painful miscarriage. From there, did my, one of my, I think healthier   trauma coping mechanisms is research. And so I just dug in and I created this kind of like wellness plan for my husband and I had like printouts. What I didn't realize is that I was basically creating what Rebecca Fett recommends without realizing what in the world I was doing. And so I had us on a laundry list of vitamins and supplements and all these things. We got pregnant again, very.   Michelle (22:33) and   Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (22:45) very luckily with our daughter, who is now nine. And then that was the end of that. was like, OK, that went OK. Maybe it was just like that first miscarriage. Lots of people have it, statistically speaking. Then we were trying for our second child. And I feel like that's when I really got introduced to the world that you're in, which is the Chinese herbal medicine and acupuncture, because we   I think I had already started working with my acupunctures at that time. again, we were having a hard time getting pregnant. And so they put me on like the most disgusting tea, but it was some sort of tea regimen and these herbs. And I was doing really cool acupuncture to your point with like the little electrodes and all of that. And I did get pregnant again, but that time ended up being a molar pregnancy.   Michelle (23:26) Yeah.   Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (23:42) which you know what those are assume or I don't know if you're listeners.   Michelle (23:46) Yes, I remember learning about it. haven't had any of my patients have that, but I remember learning about it actually in school.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (23:54) Right. So the trauma of the first miscarriage was, would almost call that like acute trauma, whereas the trauma with the molar pregnancy. So a molar pregnancy, for anyone listening who doesn't know, is when the sperm and the egg join and the DNA markers are not turned on. So no actual baby starts forming, but a mass starts to form. And your body thinks you're pregnant, and so it spikes your HCG actually above kind of average levels.   I thought I was pregnant with twins. was so sick. So I go in and I'm, I want to say eight, seven, eight weeks at that point that I thought and they scanned and there's no baby, which felt like a miscarriage, but it wasn't. But what happened after it was that I still had to do a DNC and then I had to do monthly HCG tests to make sure that my levels were dropping because if your levels of HCG go up at any point, have to   Michelle (24:26) Mm-hmm.   Right.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (24:52) do chemo. So this was this chronic six month period where we couldn't try again. And every month I was going in afraid for my health.   Michelle (25:00) Mm-hmm.   my gosh.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (25:05) Right. So that was a totally different type of trauma. And then we got pregnant again. And that one we lost at 10 weeks because it was a little boy with downs. And then we finally got pregnant with our son that we have now. But I would say during that journey of those miscarriages, that was when I really dug deep into   Things like I was saying, like really taking everything serious with Chinese herbalism, looking at what I was putting in my body, looking at what was around me, my stress level, mean, meditation, really anything I could to balance my nervous system. And to your point, I think the nervous system played a role finally in us getting pregnant with our son because I think when you were on my podcast, I told you that   Michelle (25:47) Yeah.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (25:58) I was doing all these things, it wasn't working, and then finally I did that, quite essential, fine, I give up. I'm not doing this anymore. I went to my acupuncturist and I said, just do stress this time. Don't do any of the fertility treatments, please. I just don't want to even think about it anymore. And then it's so obnoxious to say, but three weeks later we got pregnant.   Michelle (26:04) Mm-hmm.   It's not, it is, it's something that I'm, well, I'm not just, know why you're saying that because people are like, what the heck? Like, it's kind of like the just relax kind of thing. saying just relax is not helpful. That's why people are like, okay, well then how, you know, that's the how, like, how do I relax? so actually let's talk about that. Cause that, that is a big thing. That's a big thing.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (26:32) Right, right.   Right. Well, I I let go of the outcome. Yeah, I think for me, it was letting go of the outcome. And I think that allowed my nervous system to get back to a safer baseline. To your point about asking about high sensitivity, I think what used to be the stress was work and school. The stressor became the goal.   Michelle (26:52) Yeah.   Yes. You know, I just hadn't, an aha, but if you want to continue, I did, I just had an aha. It's like you're taking on the responsibility of the goal. You think that it's all up to you and you're taking that weight on your shoulders. And I think that that's what it is is, and, I'm kind of thinking back cause I had Dr. Lisa Miller. I don't know if you've heard of her. She's yeah, she's amazing. You would love her. And I think she would be great on your podcast. So put her down as a   Dr. Amelia Kelley (27:06) Which, what? Ooh, no, I wanna hear it.   Mmm.   Mm-hmm.   I've heard that name.   and a jotter down.   Michelle (27:32) as an option or somebody. She went through the fertility journey, but separately from that, she's also a professor in Columbia. I think you would love talking to her because you're a professor as well. And she's a psychotherapist and she is studying spirituality in the brain.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (27:41) good. Yeah.   that's interesting. Okay.   Michelle (27:50) It's fascinating. And so they found looking at, scans of brains and how they're functioning, where they're lit up, that spiritual people who are spiritual have different brains, their brains look different. And this could be the same brain of somebody who used to not be spiritual and then became spiritual. It doesn't matter. And what's interesting is, so this is my, as you were talking, not to interrupt, hopefully you're trained a thought, but   Dr. Amelia Kelley (28:05) Interesting.   Mm-hmm.   Michelle (28:18) can come at life taking on the responsibility of every single part of our outcome and like fully micromanaging ourselves and bearing that weight or when we're spiritual, that means that we believe in a higher power or some kind of higher intelligence. We're relying on something else and not carrying all the weight. So we're just basically giving our intention out there, but, but also feeling safe enough. Like you said, safe, word safe.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (28:28) Thank   Mm-hmm.   Yes.   Michelle (28:46) to let go. So that was kind of my heart just came out.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (28:48) Hmm, absolutely. No, I love it. mean, the connection makes so much sense because and it kind of makes me think of why it doesn't have to be quote religion that someone leans into. It doesn't. It can literally be if you're someone listening who is an atheist and staunchly does not believe in a higher power, it could be energy. I mean, we can't there's no denying scientifically there's energy. mean, even   Michelle (29:01) Mm-hmm. No, no, it doesn't have to be religion.   Right?   True.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (29:18) plants have been proven to grow better when we speak to them because of the energy and probably the carbon monoxide, but like you're a carbon dioxide, but not monoxide. I'm not breathing carbon monoxide, but you can't deny energy. even if someone is not religious or I would say, I would want to ask her actually, does this hold true for someone who's not quote spiritual, but   Michelle (29:25) Yeah, yeah, yeah, dioxide. Totally. understood. Yeah.   Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (29:44) who gives up things to the idea of energy. I want to ask her that.   Michelle (29:48) That's a great question. when you do have her on, let me know, because I'll be listening to the podcast.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (29:53) for sure. For sure. Thanks for the tip for the, I'll definitely check her out and reach out.   Michelle (29:57) Yeah, but it's fascinating. And I think to myself, I think that that might be that trusting in something else, trusting in an outcome or kind of releasing or relinquishing that burden and that responsibility. And that I guess that that was the aha is like taking on that responsibility of really trying to, take on the outcome, like as if you really have all of the responsibility and how it turns out and that burden and that feeling and that blame.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (30:06) Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Now I'm having an aha. Well, yes, I'm having an aha because high sensitivity. So I was talking about the mirror neurons earlier and the empathy overload with highly sensitives. Highly sensitive people, we do tend to naturally take on the responsibility of other people's emotions. And we also, even one of the questions that Dr. Aaron poses is,   Michelle (30:29) Tell me. This is great. We bounce off each other really well.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (30:54) Do you know how to make people comfortable in a room? Like things like changing the lighting and the volume and the temperature in the room. I think even as a highly sensitive person, we kind of naturally take on the responsibility of the environment. And that's why some HSPs who are not high sensation seekers, who are just, you know, kind of more of the traditional introverted expression of it, they really get overwhelmed in social settings and they don't love hosting.   Michelle (31:19) Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (31:23) because it's too much to micromanage. I'm a high sensation seeking HSP, so I do enjoy hosting and having people over at my home. However, the hours leading up to the event, I need quiet and calm. I've got like a hairpin trigger nervous system leading up to inviting people in my space, even though I love it. It's like this weird.   Michelle (31:24) you   Mm-hmm.   Hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (31:52) dichotomy. yeah, letting go of responsibility, think, releases the nervous system of a highly sensitive person as well.   Michelle (32:00) Yeah. And it's so interesting that you're saying that because like, I look back at my childhood, I was a really good imitator. And that just makes sense because you pick up on the little details of people's behavior and energy and you mirror that like literally.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (32:09) Mmm. Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'm so curious and envious because I'm terrible at accents. Like, terrible. Really? Mm-hmm.   Michelle (32:26) Yeah, I used to, I would do it even when I wasn't trying. I would start to take on like, I would do it on purpose and when I wasn't trying, like I would just pick up on like certain behaviors or certain like tones and things. And I would kind of like take on like the energy of friends that would have very specific ways of talking. And I would almost be like, like I would catch myself. like, that's weird. I don't want to do that.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (32:35) Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   You're like, I don't want to look like I'm really imitating them. This might get awkward.   Michelle (32:55) For sure. But it's just so fascinating. and then you're talking also highly sensitive persons that they could also have glucose sensitivity. You were saying you were talking about the physical sensitivity, right? Like that sometimes it could be allergies or other things and it's not just emotional.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (33:06) Mmm.   Mm-hmm. Well, so if you think about, it's not that they're going to have more unstable blood sugar from a technical medical stance. It's that the highly sensitive nervous system can sense peaks and valleys more than someone who is not highly sensitive. So they might respond more to hunger cues and may feel more   Michelle (33:29) Mm.   Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (33:39) panic or anxiety or stress in the state of hunger. So they may be more likely to be the person that reaches for something to re-stabilize glucose. But then you can see how depending on someone's metabolic health, that might not fit well into whatever their health goals are. So I think of my non- he's actually quite highly sensitive now, but my husband- I'm going grab water.   Michelle (33:43) Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Got it.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (34:08) Sorry. My husband, who is a little bit less sensitive and has a more stable metabolic system, when he's hungry, it doesn't cause as much distress.   Michelle (34:08) Sure.   Got it.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (34:20) If that makes sense.   Michelle (34:21) a body awareness thing. because HSPs are probably much more aware of how their bodies feel because a, immediately feel it. And then that impacts their emotions or how they feel mentally. Cause a lot of emotions get processed and they're really felt in the body. think, a lot of times people don't realize that it's why somatic.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (34:39) Mm-hmm.   Michelle (34:43) work can be so beneficial. Have you looked into somatic work?   Dr. Amelia Kelley (34:48) I do offer some forms of somatic work. I am not a somatic-experiencing practitioner. That takes a full, it's almost like a whole separate degree. But I actually find what you're saying very important to highlight, too, because HSPs, while anyone listening might think, goodness, OK, I'm highly sensitive. Now what? Does this just mean that I'm in for it? Everything's going to be harder?   Michelle (34:57) wow.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (35:14) The good thing, the hopeful thing is that HSPs also respond more to positives. So they feel more positive sensation from things like a massage or acupuncture or homeopathy or different aromatherapies. They're really going to benefit from it. I think that's why   Michelle (35:20) Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (35:39) My HSPs tend to stay in therapy longer. So HSPs are kind of a stronger ratio in therapy, not only because the world can feel more traumatizing at some points for HSPs, but because they just get so much out of it. I think it also leads to things like food can taste even better. Music can sound even more beautiful. Movies can be even more moving. So there's these...   Michelle (35:58) Mm-hmm.   There's benefits.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (36:09) Yeah, there's this, I wouldn't give it up. I wouldn't want to be less sensitive just because it would make me a little bit less likely to reach for a snack in the afternoon. So there's this yin and yang to it.   Michelle (36:14) brain.   Yes.   For sure. I actually like just from my own journey based on that, what I offer a lot of my patients and I always talk to them about it when I perceive that they get overwhelmed by stimulation. That was really how I saw it. I would say that it's not about changing that it's a gift actually, cause it could also teach you to be very aware of other people's feelings and   Dr. Amelia Kelley (36:40) Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.   Right.   Michelle (36:50) And that can be a great thing for healers, to be honest, because you're a lot more likely to be able to understand the people that you're working with. It's not about changing. It's more about managing, kind of figuring out ways to stabilize so that it works for you.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (36:53) Mm-hmm.   Right.   Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.   Right.   Absolutely. And I think that's the whole key of identifying whether or not you're one and why it's important. I've had clients who come in with a laundry list of diagnoses from other practitioners, usually because what's going on is trauma and it's being misdiagnosed as many other things, just my clinical opinion. But when I say maybe you're also highly sensitive, sometimes they just throw their arms up like another thing. And it's like, no, no.   Michelle (37:36) Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (37:37) This is a key. This is a huge level of insight that can inform everything from your fertility journey for people listening, from trauma, from navigating. Anytime something stands in your way of getting where you want to be, if you know, well, I'm highly sensitive, so I will be more likely to succeed at this thing or accomplish this thing or feel better about this thing if I take my sensitivity into account.   Michelle (38:01) Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (38:07) Perfect example, I had a very heavy day yesterday. had, I think, eight clients, a podcast, an interview, and a class. It was too much. It was a heavy, heavy day. I get home and my husband had managed to fix the voice-changing microphone toy that my kids have that had been broken that I wasn't rushing to fix. so I come in the house. They run to me. They're so excited to see me, so I'm excited to see them.   Michelle (38:17) Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Ha ha ha!   Dr. Amelia Kelley (38:35) and then they start in on this microphone. The last thing I wanted was to hear that microphone. But I know I didn't want to ruin their fun. So I know about me that I am going to be sensitive to sound when I'm overstimulated. So I went into my bag. I got my loop earbuds. If no one's ever heard of them, they're great for dampening noise around you, but you can still hear people. Popped my earbuds in. I didn't feel like I had to mask the issue of being sensitive to the noise.   Michelle (38:56) Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (39:03) My family knows this about me. It wasn't anything against my kids. It was just, I'm going to pop these in so you can still have fun, but I can feel peaceful. And that's, think, a compassionate way to care for yourself is when you know these things about yourself, you can do things to help you still integrate and feel happy and peaceful in your life, but not have to push away what really is true.   Michelle (39:17) Mm-hmm.   I love that. actually really love that. It actually, the idea of highly sensitive, I don't mind it. Although I do think that there's definitely a lot of labels. I don't see this as one because the reason why I'm saying this, it reminds me of human design where you find out your strengths and sensitivities.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (39:42) Yes.   Michelle (39:47) and I think that once you know those, so it's not like a disorder, you know, cause we, think we hear all these different labels. think of it as like all these disorders. It's not no. And so that's the thing with this. I feel like it brings a lot of clarity. I, as a sensitive person   Dr. Amelia Kelley (39:54) Mm-hmm. It's not even a diagnosis.   Michelle (40:05) it really makes me understand myself more and manage it more. Just like you said, and I think that that is the key rather than getting frustrated with my husband who likes to really over explain. And sometimes I'm like, okay, my brain is like just on fire right now. And I have to explain that to, like, I know to explain that to him, like, it's not you, it's just me. He like right now I'm overloaded with information. I need a little quiet.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (40:10) Mm hmm.   Mm-hmm.   my gosh.   Yes.   Right.   Mm-hmm.   Michelle (40:33) So I think that when you do that, you'll also come at explaining things in a way that's more compassionate and easier to communicate rather than getting frustrated because you'll understand yourself better. And you understand sort of the situation that somebody else might not have that level of sensitivity and you do so they may not realize it. And I just feel like it really puts so much clarity to the situation.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (40:41) Right.   Right.   Right.   absolutely. if you happen to have kids or if you're on this fertility journey and in the future you're blessed with kids, the likelihood of them maybe being sensitive is quite high. And so you will be able to model for them. I joke one day, my daughter was probably three or four at the time, and she kept asking me for things in the bathroom. like, what is she doing? I walked in and she was laying in the tub with a book and a cup.   Michelle (41:17) Yes.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (41:30) and a towel over her face. And I'm like, what are you doing? She goes, I'm being mommy. I know, but it made me really proud too, because I'm like, OK, great. So this has been modeled for her. And you know, one thing we didn't even mention that we probably should have mentioned at the very beginning, high sensitivity is not abnormal. It's an adaptive trait. And it is a third. Up to a third of the human population is highly sensitive.   Michelle (41:35) That's really cute.   Yeah.   you   Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (41:59) And there are ranges. So you have high sensitivity, medium sensitivity, and there are actually people who are low sensitive as well. Like their nervous system takes a lot of stimulation to be activated. And you might notice if you start learning this about yourself, you'll be able to start reflecting on people in your life and how you respond to them. And there might be people you can get to depth with a little bit more easily. Those might be your other co-HSPs.   Michelle (42:12) Mm-hmm.   Mm-hmm.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (42:29) And this is not just humans. The research shows this is in hundreds of animal species, even bugs. So it's everywhere. It's part of nature. It's part of nature, essentially.   Michelle (42:38) Wow, that's fascinating. That's so interesting. It's wild. You know, and I think to myself, like one of the things that I noticed, and it's so interesting that you said this, because I noticed that my patients, One of the things that I really observe is how they respond to treatments. Not everybody responds as quick.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (42:52) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.   Michelle (42:58) Some people take a little longer. so I can come up with like my first protocol, but then I realized I need to shift it a little bit, depending on how they do, or sometimes I'll even use baby needles on people who are very, very sensitive. Cause I don't want to overdo it with their nervous system. They don't need the strong needles. They don't need the strong stimulation cause they feel it already. And the people that have that body awareness   Dr. Amelia Kelley (43:04) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.   Mmm.   Right.   Right.   Michelle (43:22) is that when they have that body awareness, I feel like they respond to treatment a lot faster.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (43:28) Mm hmm. Yep. You're right. Just like we were saying that you'll get more good out of the good.   Michelle (43:31) Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. So interesting. I can talk to you for hours. I really enjoy our conversations. It's a lot of fun. I'll come back and then I'll have you back because I'm sure we can come up with like all kinds of things to talk about.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (43:37) I know I have to have you back now.   Well, and you know the funny thing, so I'll tell your listeners my podcast is The Sensitivity Doctor, and I have folks on all the time to talk about different topics around sensitivity. Do you know I have not had an episode literally just talking about what it means to be a highly sensitive person? I would love to have you on to have a chat about what it means to another highly sensitive person, and we can just unpack it. Because we talk about it extraneously around it, but I'm like,   Michelle (44:04) really?   Let's do it. Let's do it.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (44:16) Yeah, we should just unpack what that means. So I would love to have you back.   Michelle (44:20) That would be great. I really enjoy talking to you. can just like totally pick your brain. You're so interesting to talk to. I got really, and I love your energy and you're also the way you approach it in such an empowering way. I love that. Like I think it's just amazing. yeah, yeah, this is fun. I'm really excited. I actually met you.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (44:26) thank you. You too.   Mm-hmm. Thank you.   Yeah, it was a good it was a good meeting   Michelle (44:41) it was definitely a great meeting. So I would love for you to share for people listening and if they want to learn more, if they want to read your books, how they can reach you and how they can work with you.   Dr. Amelia Kelley (44:47) Mm-hmm.   Sure, so as I was mentioning, I do have my podcast that comes out every Thursday. But if you want to learn basically anything that I have to offer, it's on my website at AmeliaKelly.com, and that's Kelly with an EY. And I have links to my Psychology Today blog. It's called In Your Corner. I've got meditations on Insight Timer on there. There's a couple different quizzes, like if you want to figure out if you're in a...   trauma bond, if you want to learn if you're a highly sensitive person, I have an assessment on there. I also offer what I think to be the most important tools from some of my books that I want to make available to everyone for free, like the safety plan of how to get out of domestic violence situations, suicide safety plan, gas lighting checklist, like some of the things that I feel like everyone really should just have. You don't need to go buy the book.   Those are available too. So you can also find links for all my books and I also have a group that I meet every Tomorrow actually it's meeting. It's every other Thursday It's called powered by ADHD and it's for women with ADHD and sometimes we have guest speakers on which we're gonna have tomorrow night so I'm excited about that and I love that because it's a resource that women anywhere in the world can reach out You don't have to be in the state of North Carolina where I'm licensed. So   virtually anyone who is a woman or identifies as a woman can join that.   of course. Thanks for having me. Yeah, you'll come back. Awesome.  

Welcome back to ADHD-ish. If you are feeling a bit “off”, upset, depressed or easily triggered, this episode is for you. Most of the advice we hear on managing ADHD traits has to do with disorganization, forgetfulness, distractibility and impulsiveness, but the emotional dysregulation that is also part of ADHD affects many of us just as much and can really throw us off in both our personal and professional lives. Hey, It's OK to not be OK, it's understandable to be upset, depressed and to want to pull the covers over your head or punch the pillows. But, you have a business to run, so how do you get, and stay regulated during trying times? Here are the 5 key takeaways from this episode you won't want to miss:Exercise for resilience: I bought a Peloton to eliminate excuses, but also to hop on and burn off frustration and irritability but you can accomplish the same with a brisk walk.ADHD-Friendly Meditation: Yes, meditation IS possible with an ADHD brain! Learn how to start a practice that suits you and why it's a game-changer for emotional regulation.Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT): Ever heard of tapping? This strategy can be used to maintain your calm, but also as emotional first aid when you get triggered. The Importance of Routine Self-care: making sure we get enough sleep and hydration does more than we think to help us manage strong emotions Pro-social emotions to up-regulate: gratitude, pride, compassion & simple ways to remember to do so Setting Boundaries: With the holidays approaching, boundaries are crucial. Learn to protect your emotional space from toxic interactions and enjoy a more peaceful season.A special Thank You to Connie Vanderzazen and Sugarwish for demonstrating care, compassion and gratitude with a special gift package of teas this week. Resources mentioned in this episode:ADDitude Magazine article on pro-social activities to build emotional resilience Do you have a Peloton? Connect with me! My Peloton handle is ADHD-ish (obviously)Episode of ADHD-ish on Meditation for Busy Brains with Guest Jude Star Podcast Episode on Emotional Freedom Technique with Kate Moryoussef Rick Hanson, PhD Taking in the Good My framework for ADHD-ish solopreneurs, The Boss Up Breakthrough is a 1:1 strategy, coaching and mentorship program that turns your hidden gem into a stand-out, sought-after, profitable business based on your unique brilliance. Over the course of 12 weeks, we transform your positioning, packaging, pricing and promoting and remove everything holding you back. Want to start NOW, lay the foundation, then take a break for the holidays and pick up again in January?

Welcome back to ADHD-ish. If you are feeling a bit “off”, upset, depressed or easily triggered, this episode is for you. Most of the advice we hear on managing ADHD traits is about disorganization and distractibility, but emotional dysregulation is also part of ADHD and can really impact us in both our personal and professional lives. It's OK to not be OK right now. It's understandable to want to pull the covers over your head or punch the pillows. But, you have a business to run, so how do you get, and stay regulated during trying times? Here are the 5 key takeaways from this episode you won't want to miss:Exercise for resilience: I bought a Peloton to eliminate excuses, but also to hop on and burn off frustration and irritability but you can accomplish the same with a brisk walk.ADHD-Friendly Meditation: Yes, meditation IS possible with an ADHD brain! Learn how to start a practice that suits you and why it's a game-changer for emotional regulation.Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT): Ever heard of tapping? This strategy can be used to maintain your calm, but also as emotional first aid when you get triggered. Pro-social emotions to up-regulate: gratitude, pride, compassion & simple ways to remember to do so Setting Boundaries: With the holidays approaching, boundaries are crucial. Learn to protect your emotional space from toxic interactions and enjoy a more peaceful season.A special Thank You to Connie Zanderzanden and Sugarwish for demonstrating care, compassion and gratitude with a special gift package of teas this week. Resources mentioned in this episode:ADDitude Magazine article on pro-social activities to build emotional resilience Do you have a Peloton? Connect with me! My Peloton handle is ADHD-ish (obviously)Episode of ADHD-ish on Meditation for Busy Brains with Guest Jude Star Podcast Episode on Emotional Freedom Technique with Kate Moryoussef Rick Hanson, PhD Taking in the Good My framework for ADHD-ish solopreneurs, The Boss Up Breakthrough is a 1:1 strategy, coaching and mentorship program that turns your hidden gem into a stand-out, sought-after, profitable business based on your unique brilliance. Over the course of 12 weeks, we transform your positioning, packaging, pricing and promoting and remove everything holding you back. Want to start NOW, lay the foundation, then take a break for the holidays and pick up again in January? Schedule a free consultation to see if we're a fit.Not ready to work together, but want to share the love? Rate and Review ADHD-ish and...

Norton Healthcare's Parenting With You is the podcast that helps you keep your kids healthy and safe by providing practical, down to earth advice for parents of children of any age, from babies through the teen years. In this Episode: Understanding ADHD, Part 2In this episode, our hosts talk with Dr. Paul Rosen, clinical psychologist at the Norton Children's Behavior and Mental Health Bingham Clinic. This is part two of a two-part episode that takes a deep dive into attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.  For information on ADHD, visit Understanding ADHD: Information for Parents - HealthyChildren.org For ADHD - general information: National Resource Center on ADHD (www.help4adhd.org)   Children and Adults with ADHD (support group; www.chadd.org)   ADDitude Magazine (www.additudemag.com)   Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents (Fourth Edition) by Russell Barkley, Ph.D. For parents of girls with ADHD: Understanding Girls with ADHD: How They Feel and Why They Do What They Do by Kathleen Nadeau, Ellen Littman, & Patricia Quinn For parents of adolescents with ADHD: Teenagers with ADD, ADHD, and Executive Functioning Deficits: A guide for parents and professionals by Chris A. Ziegler Dendy For helping kids with ADHD manage frustration and emotions: The Explosive Child by Ross Green, Ph.D For parenting strategies for younger kids with ADHD: 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan, Ph.D. For elementary school aged kids with ADHD: Cory Stories: A Kid's Book About ADHD by Jeanne Kraus and Whitney Martin The Survival Guide for Kids with ADHD by John F. Taylor, Ph.D. For adolescents with ADHD: The ADHD Workbook for Teens by Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D. About Norton Children's Center for Prevention and WellnessA healthy kid is a happy kid. Norton Children's Prevention & Wellness provides resources to help you and your child build healthy habits. Established in 1991, the Office of Child Advocacy of Norton Children's Hospital, now Norton Children's Prevention & Wellness, takes an active leadership role in teaching healthy habits in children, including injury prevention and educating children and their families on healthy lifestyle choices. Advocacy and outreach educational programs are at the heart of the Norton Children's mission. Norton Children's Prevention & Wellness is funded through donations to the Norton Children's Hospital Foundation. Our efforts are focused around: Safety and injury prevention Promoting healthy lifestyles Key community partnerships Government relations   Norton Children's Prevention and Wellness Classes:  https://nortonchildrens.com/prevention-wellness/classes-events/ Find a pediatrician go to https://nortonchildrens.com/locations/pediatrician-offices/  or call 502-629-KIDS, option 3.   Podcast editing and post production by www.unmuteaudio.com

Dr. Amelia Kelley is a renowned trauma-informed therapist, author, researcher, and certified meditation and yoga instructor. She specializes in art therapy, internal family systems (IFS), EMDR, and brainspotting, utilizing an integrative approach to facilitate healing.As a psychology professor at Yorkville University, Dr. Kelley shares her expertise with students. Her work has earned national recognition, featuring her as a relationship expert on SiriusXM Doctor Radio's The Psychiatry Show and NPR's The Measure of Everyday Life.Committed to advancing research, Dr. Kelley's private practice is affiliated with the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She has authored several influential books, including Powered by ADHD: Strategies and Exercises for Women to Harness their Untapped Gifts, Gaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse, What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship, and Surviving Suicidal Ideation: From Therapy to Spirituality and the Lived Experience.Dedicated to making healing accessible, Dr. Kelley contributes to Psychology Today, ADDitude Magazine, and Highly Sensitive Refuge, the world's largest blog for Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs). She co-hosts The Sensitivity Doctor's Podcast, exploring topics relevant to mental wellness.Dr. Kelley welcomes connections and inquiries. Readers and listeners can reach out through her contact page or connect with her on social media to share questions or suggest topics for future discussions.https://ameliakelley.com/Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/i-am-refocused-radio--2671113/support.

When we wrote our book, ADHD Is Awesome, one of the areas we wanted to cover more was the under-diagnosis of ADHD amongst minority populations. White children get diagnosed with ADHD at a rate of 11.5% while Black children get diagnosed at a rate of 8.9%. Additionally, studies have shown that Black children with symptoms of ADHD are treated more negatively by teachers and other adults. This week, we talk to Dr. Damon Tweedy, a professor of psychiatry at Duke University School of Medicine (and our friend) to learn more.Dr. Tweedy is the author of two books, Black Man in a White Coat: A Doctor's Reflections on Race and Medicine and Facing the Unseen: The Struggle to Center Mental Health in Medicine. His first book made the New York Times bestseller list and was selected by TIME Magazine as a top non-fiction book that year. Dr. Tweedy has been featured in publications including the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, and Discover Magazine. We discuss Dr. Tweedy's personal stories about probably having ADHD himself along with the complicated issue of what it means to be Black and have ADHD. You can learn more about Dr. Tweedy here: https://www.damontweedy.com/.Limited Time Offer! October is ADHD Awareness Month - Get any of our ADHD merchandise for 20% off using code ADHD20: https://holdernessfamilyshop.com/Join Our Webinars! 10/1 - Free webinar with ADDitude Magazine and 10/9 - Pearson Assessments - get 50% off with code HOLDERNESS50.Get our game Family FaceoffGet our game What The FlockJoin Our NewsletterFollow us on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow us on TikTok Follow us on FacebookKim and Penn are award-winning content creators known for their online videos, including original music, song parodies, and comedy sketches. Their videos have resulted in over 2 billion views and 9 million followers across their social media platforms since they (accidentally) went viral in 2013. They have a New York Times bestselling book on ADHD, best-selling book on marriage communication, a top-rated podcast, a fun-filled family card game, and most recently, they were the winners on Season 33 of The Amazing Race.The Holderness Family Podcast is produced by Ann Marie Taepke and edited and engineered by Max Trujillo of Trujillo Media and Sam Allen. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr Ned Hallowell is a board-certified child and adult psychiatrist, author, and world authority on ADHD. He is a graduate of Harvard College and Tulane Medical School, and was a Harvard Medical School faculty member for 21 years. He is the Founder of The Hallowell ADHD Centers in Boston, New York, San Francisco, and Seattle. Dr Hallowell has spent the past four decades helping thousands of adults and children live happy and productive lives through his strength-based approach to neurodiversity, and has ADHD and dyslexia himself. In this conversation, we explore: — Why the term ADHD is a misnomer — The surprising link between ADHD and Addiction, and why people with ADHD are 5 to 10 times more likely to struggle with an addiction than the general population — The benefits of getting an ADHD diagnosis, and the potential costs of not getting one if you suffer it — Practical strategies for managing ADHD and Addiction And more. You can learn more about Dr Hallowell's innovative work by going to: https://drhallowell.com. --- Dr. Edward (Ned) Hallowell is a distinguished psychiatrist specialising in ADHD, renowned globally for his expertise. A graduate of Harvard College and Tulane Medical School, he spent 21 years on the Harvard Medical School faculty. Dr Hallowell, who has ADHD and dyslexia himself, employs a strength-based approach to neurodiversity, assisting thousands in leading fulfilling lives over four decades. Founder of The Hallowell ADHD Centers across major U.S. cities, including Boston, New York City, San Francisco, Palo Alto, and Seattle, he has written 20 bestselling books on various psychological topics, notably co-authoring the groundbreaking Distraction series in 1994. Dr. Hallowell has made numerous media appearances and is a regular columnist for ADDitude Magazine. Residing in Boston with his wife Sue and three children, he is also available for speaking engagements. --- Interview Links: — Dr Hallowell's website: https://drhallowell.com — Dr Hallowell's books: https://amzn.to/3N1MZnZ

Dr. Amelia Kelley, a trauma-informed therapist and author, joins me to explore the nuances of ADHD in women, discussing how it often goes unnoticed and untreated. We tackle the complex question, "Do I have trauma or ADHD?"—exploring whether childhood trauma manifests as ADHD or if living with ADHD contributes to traumatic experiences.  Plus, we uncover the superpowers of ADHD, the fascinating link between hyperfocus and procrastination, and how neurodiversity and ADHD affect relationships. Tune in to gain valuable insights and feel empowered to understand yourself better or loved ones living with ADHD. Featured topics: The impact of untreated ADHD on women's lives (3:25) "Do I have trauma or ADHD?" Exploring the relationship between trauma and ADHD (15:22) Coping skills: Embracing change as a compassionate choice (27:02) The superpowers of ADHD + the link between hyperfocus and procrastination (27:44) Healthy relationships, neurodiversity, and ADHD (34:00) The correlation between ADHD and attachment styles (43:30) Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, author of several books, co-host of The Sensitivity Doctors podcast, and certified meditation and yoga instructor. She is a psychology professor at Yorkville University and a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on SiriusXM Doctor Radio's The Psychiatry Show as well as NPR's The Measure of Everyday Life. Her private practice is part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is a contributing author for Psychology Today, ADDitude Magazine and the Highly Sensitive Refuge, the world's largest blog for HSPs. You can find out more about her work at ameliakelley.com. Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Amelia's website Amelia's book Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-284-powered-by-adhd-with-dr-amelia-kelley-neurodivergence-in-relationships/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Dr. Amelia Kelley, a trauma-informed therapist and author, joins me to explore the nuances of ADHD in women, discussing how it often goes unnoticed and untreated. We tackle the complex question, "Do I have trauma or ADHD?"—exploring whether childhood trauma manifests as ADHD or if living with ADHD contributes to traumatic experiences.  Plus, we uncover the superpowers of ADHD, the fascinating link between hyperfocus and procrastination, and how neurodiversity and ADHD affect relationships. Tune in to gain valuable insights and feel empowered to understand yourself better or loved ones living with ADHD. Featured topics: The impact of untreated ADHD on women's lives (3:25) "Do I have trauma or ADHD?" Exploring the relationship between trauma and ADHD (15:22) Coping skills: Embracing change as a compassionate choice (27:02) The superpowers of ADHD + the link between hyperfocus and procrastination (27:44) Healthy relationships, neurodiversity, and ADHD (34:00) The correlation between ADHD and attachment styles (43:30) Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, author of several books, co-host of The Sensitivity Doctors podcast, and certified meditation and yoga instructor. She is a psychology professor at Yorkville University and a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on SiriusXM Doctor Radio's The Psychiatry Show as well as NPR's The Measure of Everyday Life. Her private practice is part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is a contributing author for Psychology Today, ADDitude Magazine and the Highly Sensitive Refuge, the world's largest blog for HSPs. You can find out more about her work at ameliakelley.com. Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Amelia's website Amelia's book Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-284-powered-by-adhd-with-dr-amelia-kelley-neurodivergence-in-relationships/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mrinal Gokhale is an author, speaker and creative consultant based in Wisconsin. She has collaborated with organizations and media outlets such as Brown Girl Magazine, ADDitude Magazine, Medical College of Wisconsin, and more. Her most recent book is titled “Taboo: South Asian Mental Health Stories.” During this episode, Mrinal talks about: What inspired her to write about mental health in South Asian communities How she found people to interview for her book Common mental health themes that she noticed in her interviews How her own mental health journey inspired her writing and advocacy Find out more about Mrinal and her writing on her LinkTree page. Watch the video of this interview on YouTube. Read the episode transcript. Follow the Beyond 6 Seconds podcast in your favorite podcast player. Subscribe to the FREE Beyond 6 Seconds newsletter for early access to new episodes. Support or sponsor this podcast at BuyMeACoffee.com/Beyond6Seconds! *Disclaimer: The views, guidance, opinions, and thoughts expressed in Beyond 6 Seconds episodes are solely mine and/or those of my guests, and do not necessarily represent those of my employer or other organizations.*

Sharon Saline, Psy.D., clinical psychologist and author of the award-winning book, “What your ADHD child wishes you knew: Working together to empower kids for success in school and life and The ADHD solution card deck” specializes in working with children, teens, adults and families living with ADHD, learning disabilities, twice exceptionality and mental health issues. She lectures and facilitates workshops internationally on topics such as ADHD and neurodivergence, executive functioning, the anxiety spectrum, motivation, perfectionism and working with different kinds of learners. Dr. Saline is on the advisory panel, serves as a contributing editor at ADDitudemag.com and hosts their weekly YouTube Live sessions. She also blogs for PsychologyToday.com, appears as a featured expert on MASS Appeal on WWLP-TV and is a part-time lecturer at the Smith School for Social Work. She has been featured in numerous online and print publications including The New York Times, MSN, The Washington Post, The Psychotherapy Networker, Smith College Studies in Social Work, Attention Magazine, ADDitude Magazine and more.Find Sharon:@DrSharonSalineDrSharonSaline.comClick Here To Find Your People and Join The ADHD Moms Club!MOTHER PLUS INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mother_plus_podcast/MOTHER PLUS FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/motherpluspodcastMOTHER PLUS PERMISSION SLIP: https://www.motherplusser.com/Permission-SlipMOTHER PLUS NEWSLETTER: https://www.motherplusser.com/signup-pageMOTHER PLUS BLOG: https://www.motherplusser.com/blog

In our conversation with Dr. Sharon Saline, she talks about the origin of the sense of failure so many people with ADHD experience, and how it can be traced back to harmful messaging we've endured since childhood about how we are defective in some way or not okay. Dr. Sharon challenges us to change our inner dialogue and talk to ourselves with compassion, the way we would a close friend or a child in need.Dr. Sharon breaks down what emotional dysregulation looks like and how it shows up for women with ADHD in terms of overwhelm, time management challenges, working memory, and self-evaluation, aka, the way we perceive and speak to ourselves. People with ADHD tend to have "big feelings." Dr. Sharon explains why people with poor working memory also struggle with emotional control. Dr. Sharon guides us through the biology of ADHD and how brain structure as well as neurotransmitter function both play a role in emotional regulation. Dr. Sharon shares with us the mind-blowing concept of the "Takeback of the Day." She walks us through the protocol and "rules" and how transformative it can be in relationship repair. We talk about what it looks like when an ADHD mom "loses it," how terrible it feels, what's often at the root of it, and how to make it right. Dr. Sharon walks us through "do-overs" and repair when children are involved. In order to avoid the "Boy who cried wolf" cycle of damage and repair, Dr. Sharon encourages us to notice the signals that we are about to lose it so we can course correct before we go over the edge—she shares her STAR method which can be revolutionary for stopping the cycle of losing it. Sharon Saline, Psy.D., clinical psychologist and author of the award-winning book, “What your ADHD child wishes you knew: Working together to empower kids for success in school and life and The ADHD solution card deck” specializes in working with children, teens, adults and families living with ADHD, learning disabilities, twice exceptionality and mental health issues. She lectures and facilitates workshops internationally on topics such as ADHD and neurodivergence, executive functioning, the anxiety spectrum, motivation, perfectionism and working with different kinds of learners. Dr. Saline is on the advisory panel, serves as a contributing editor at ADDitudemag.com and hosts their weekly YouTube Live sessions. She also blogs for PsychologyToday.com, appears as a featured expert on MASS Appeal on WWLP-TV and is a part-time lecturer at the Smith School for Social Work. She has been featured in numerous online and print publications including The New York Times, MSN, The Washington Post, The Psychotherapy Networker, Smith College Studies in Social Work, Attention Magazine, ADDitude Magazine and more.Find Sharon:@DrSharonSalineDrSharonSaline.comClick Here To Find Your People and Join The ADHD Moms Club!MOTHER PLUS INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mother_plus_podcast/MOTHER PLUS FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/motherpluspodcastMOTHER PLUS PERMISSION SLIP: https://www.motherplusser.com/Permission-SlipMOTHER PLUS NEWSLETTER: https://www.motherplusser.com/signup-pageMOTHER PLUS BLOG: https://www.motherplusser.com/blog

In this episode: Jen answers two listener emails about how to stop with the negative self-talk after failing to complete tasks and feeling overwhelmed, and how (and if) to tell a new boss that you have Rejection Sensitivity and might need future feedback to be more gentle. Listen to “YOU ARE A LOT” (an adhd podcast) FREE on any podcast app. For bonus content join the podcast Patreon at $6.99 a month or 15% off annually. You can start with a 7-day-free-trial today! CLICK TO JOIN PATREON - http://patreon.com/ALOTADHDPOD Click here to write a 5-star review of the podcast Visit the “You Are A Lot” (an adhd podcast) webpage Send an email to the podcast at alotadhdpod@gmail.com Follow Jen on Instagram Follow Jen on Tik Tok For More Info on Jen SOURCES USED FOR THIS EPISODE: Newly diagnosed with ADHD? Subscribe free to ADDitude Magazine online.

This week it is a pleasure to welcome developmental pediatrician Dr. Mark Bertin to The Hamilton Review Podcast! In this important conversation, Dr. Mark Bertin discusses the following:   - Mindfulness (mindfulness is seeing things as clearly as possible) in ADHD. - All of the evidenced based information on ADHD. - ADHD is a developmental disorder of executive function and how to help our kids navigate through it successfully and become independent. - Mindfulness and resilience and how it can be a useful part of parenting. A critical episode for all parents dealing with children who have ADHD.  Dr. Bertin is a developmental pediatrician and author of How Children Thrive, Mindful Parenting for ADHD, Mindfulness and Self-Compassion for Teen ADHD and The Family ADHD Solution, all of which integrate mindfulness into the rest pediatric care, and a contributing author for the book Teaching Mindfulness Skills to Kids and Teens.   Dr. Bertin is a faculty member at New York Medical College and the Windward Teacher Training Institute and has served on advisory boards for APSARD, Additude Magazine, Common Sense Media and Reach Out and Read.   His blog is available through Psychology Today and elsewhere. For more information, please visit his website at www.developmentaldoctor.com.   How to contact Dr. Mark Bertin: Dr. Mark Bertin website   How to contact Dr. Bob: Dr. Bob on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChztMVtPCLJkiXvv7H5tpDQ Dr. Bob on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drroberthamilton/ Dr. Bob on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bob.hamilton.1656 Dr. Bob's Seven Secrets Of The Newborn website: https://7secretsofthenewborn.com/ Dr. Bob's website: https://roberthamiltonmd.com/ Pacific Ocean Pediatrics: http://www.pacificoceanpediatrics.com/

Did you know there's such a thing as productive anxiety and toxic anxiety? One can give you a boost, while the other can drag you down. Managing ADHD, anxiety, time management, and social expectations can be tricky, but they also open doors to self-discovery and growth. Dr. Saline, with over 30 years of experience and a strengths-based approach, offers down-to-earth advice to help you tackle social anxiety, emotional regulation, and time management, especially during life transitions like menopause. Her personal and professional insights help smart women manage their busy brains and use their intelligence as a tool, not a mask.In this episode, Dr. Saline breaks down how to understand and handle anxiety. She helps women tell the difference between productive anxiety, which can be a helpful motivator, and toxic anxiety, which can feel overwhelming. Her tips include being self-aware and using practical strategies like setting realistic time goals and trying out visual meditation techniques to stay emotionally balanced.Dr. Saline, author of the award-winning book What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew, specializes in working with ADHD and neurodivergent individuals of all ages, helping them improve cognitive and social skills, resilience, self-confidence, and personal relationships. She consults internationally with schools, clinics, and businesses, runs a private practice, and is a part-time lecturer at the Smith College School for Social Work. Additionally, she is a blogger for Psychology Today, a contributing expert on MASS Live, and hosts a bi-weekly Facebook Live event for ADDitude Magazine. Her writing has appeared in numerous publications, including MSN.com, The Psychotherapy Networker, Smith College Studies in Social Work, and Attention Magazine.Resources:Website - https://www.drsharonsaline.comInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/drsharonsaline/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/DrSharonSaline/YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@DrSharonSaline------Are You Ready to Discover Your Brilliance? Order Now: https://adhdforsmartwomen.com/bookJoin Your ADHD Brain is A-OK: https://adhdforsmartwomen.com/aokVisit our website: https://adhdforsmartwomen.comJoin our community of ADHD For Smart Ass Women: https://www.facebook.com/groups/tracyotsukaSend us a Text Message. Are you feeling uncertain about your life's direction? Join Tracy Otsuka's free "What Do I Do With My Life Masterclass" to discover how to make better, more confident decisions and realize your full potential. Become an expert on yourself and choose the right path forward. Register now at spyhappy.me/class. Hi there, Tracy here. There are many misconceptions about ADHD, particularly that it equates to laziness or lack of motivation. In "ADHD for Smart Ass Women," I offer strategies tailored for ADHD minds to help leverage strengths and overcome challenges. Support the community by purchasing the book and sharing a review, helping spread crucial information and empower others.

Meet Ceri Sandford, the ADHD Compassion Coach. This episode was written to validate the hyperawareness you may be feeling about your differences after discovering your neurotype. Please know that none of this information should sustitute medical advice or information. Quick diclaimer: I fucking loved this episode and I swear - a lot. Mi 'scusi! Oh, and you're welcome to listen in 1.25 speed. Don't worry, I do it too xx Tune in, subscribe, share with a friend to hear all about: Validating the heck out of your challenges Breaking down executive functions Renaming ADHD as AHM or EFD (haha) Riffing on the fact time is an illusion ADHD is your 'red car' (noticing it) What are you hyperaware of right now? Less masking and toxic coping strategies Ignorant comments shared by listeners A favourite ADDitude Magazine article of mine to share with your loved ones. Will you join Embrace Your ADHD Chaos 12-Week Group Program? For the gems who want to join me for a mixture of self-paced and live group coaching calls - this is going to be a cracker! https://www.cerisandford.com/eyc  If you would like to work with Ceri, you can download her ridiculously compassionate audio track to support you with unmasking. Reach out to Ceri on Instagram or TikTok to share if you loved this episode. ALSO - if you leave a review, you're the best listener on the planet. Support @lifelikecharlie by ordering your own tune here.

This is her bio: "Gilly Kahn, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist, working in a private group practice in the Atlanta area. She specializes in individual and group therapy focusing on neurodiversity, anxiety, and depression. Over the years, Gilly developed a niche in the treatment of ADHD and autistic youth, because, in her opinion, there is no better or wiser company (side note, Gilly also has ADHD). She has a B.A. in Psychology and Creative Writing, a Master's in Experimental Psychology, and a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. She presented at various national conferences, blogs for ADDitude Magazine, and is currently writing her debut book (on the emotional component of ADHD in females). Gilly has a diverse immigrant family background. If you ask her what her hobby is outside of work, she will literally tell you it is “everything psychology." -Gilly Kahn. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/antonio-myers4/support

Dr. Gilly Kahn is a licensed clinical psychologist working in a private group practice in the Atlanta area. She specializes in individual and group therapy focusing on neurodiversity, anxiety, and depression in youth. Gilly gravitated toward working with children and teens with ADHD and Autism because, in her opinion, there is no better or wiser company. She eventually connected the dots in her own life and received an adult diagnosis of ADHD. Gilly is now writing a book about ADHD and has recently started blogging for ADDitude Magazine. She talks about the crossover between ADHD and migraines, as well as the impact of ADHD on emotional regulation. Gilly also talks about the struggles to recognize and quantify ADHD in girls, and how her practice as a psychologist has changed since her diagnosis. Learn more about Dr. Gilly at https://www.drgillykahn.com/

Dr. Meg Meeker sits down with Parenting Guru Dayna Abraham, author of the acclaimed book "Calm the Chaos," to unveil science-backed strategies for raising emotionally intense children. They delve into Dayna's personal journey, the triggers behind challenging behaviors, and her empathy-based approach to parenting. They emphasize the importance of managing meltdowns, fostering a harmonious family dynamic, and building rock-solid parent-child bonds as the foundation for effective guidance. The discussion also highlights the critical role of community support and parental self-care in navigating the emotional rollercoaster of parenthood. Key Takeaways: Understanding Your Child: Dayna dives into "Calm the Chaos," exploring the reasons behind tantrums, defiance, and emotional dysregulation. She emphasizes the importance of compassionate understanding and validation to effectively reach your child. Five-Step Blueprint: Dayna unveils a proven five-step approach to handling challenging behaviors, including de-escalation techniques, energy management, and long-term solutions. Discover how to avoid power struggles and implement positive behavioral interventions. Building Trust & Connection: The conversation underscores the power of active listening, open communication, and building trust for fostering positive parent-child relationships. Learn how to empathetically guide and support your child's emotional growth. Our Guest: Dayna Abraham is a trusted leader in the parenting community, boasting over a decade of experience as an award-winning, national board-certified educator. As the founder of Lemon Lime Adventures, a popular parenting site with over 41 million viewers in under seven years, she has demonstrated her exceptional ability to connect with and inspire audiences worldwide. Additionally, Dayna serves as the CEO of Calm the Chaos, a highly successful company offering her compassionate framework to support thousands of parents globally. Her impactful work has been featured in HuffPost, Babble, Scary Mommy, BuzzFeed, ADDitude Magazine, and Positive Parenting Solutions, further solidifying her esteemed reputation in the field. Our Sponsors: Masimo Stork is a revolutionary new baby monitor. To learn more, go to masimostork.com Crunch Labs: CrunchLabs is a STEM monthly subscription build box for kids. Learn more by visiting crunchlabs.com/DrMeg Thrive Market: Thrive Market is the customized and economical way to shop organic, non-gmo, and healthy - for you and your family. Visit thrivemarket.com/drmeg Whole Life Pet : Your pet can't choose healthy, but you can! Choose Whole Life Pet for human grade, freeze-dried, nutrient-rich, all natural food and treats for your dog or cat! https://wholelifepet.com/ From the Producer: Discover your vital role as a dad amidst modern challenges through our courses, shaping lasting bonds and empowering your parenting journey. Explore The New Era of Fatherhood and The Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters Playbook at meekerparenting.com/courses. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On episode 211, Emily Kircher-Morris talks with Brooke Schnittman, founder of Coaching with Brooke and author of Activate Your ADHD Potential. They discuss the barriers faced by ADHDers, the strengths of ADHD brains, the influence of the neurodiversity framework, the shift in our understanding of ADHD, the importance of structure and systems, her favorite tool for getting thoughts out of the head, and more. It's a great conversation with plenty of usable advice and ideas. Key takeaways: ADHDers often face barriers in trying to fit into societal expectations and meet the demands of teachers and employers. ADHD brains have strengths such as creativity, problem-solving, and intuition that should be explored and harnessed. The neurodiversity framework has influenced the understanding and approach to ADHD, emphasizing the need for structure and support tailored to individual strengths and learning styles. Getting thoughts out of the head and onto paper or through external processing can help with organization and reduce overwhelm. A message to a younger self with ADHD would be that it's going to be okay and that with the right tools and support, control can be gained over ADHD symptoms. This episode is brought to you by the Council for Exceptional Children, dedicated to high-quality education that is inclusive and equitable for individuals with disabilities and/or gifts and talents. Attend their Annual Convention & Expo, March 13-16, 2024 in San Antonio, Texas. Register now at cecconvention.org/, and if you're a school principal, receive free registration by using the code 24CEC100. Brooke Schnittman is an esteemed expert in the field of ADHD management and support. She founded Coaching With Brooke in 2018, and offers tailored programs and strategies to support her clients with time management, organization, emotional regulation and self-advocacy. Brooke was diagnosed with ADHD later in life, and shares her passion as a public speaker and advocate. Her work has been featured on prominent media outlets such as Forbes, Entrepreneur, ADDitude Magazine, CBS and NBC, and has received a number of accolades in the ADHD community. Brooke has a Bachelor's in Elementary Education from Penn State University, and a Master's Degree from New York University, specializing in Students With Disabilities. BACKGROUND READING Facebook Instagram X (formerly Twitter) Brooke's website Book - Activate Your ADHD Potential

Welcome to The Mental Breakdown and Psychreg Podcast! Today, Dr. Berney and Dr. Marshall discuss the importance of simplifying your life. Read the article from ADDitude Magazine here. You can now follow Dr. Marshall on twitter, as well! Dr. Berney and Dr. Marshall are happy to announce the release of their new parenting e-book, Handbook for Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child Part 2: Attention. You can get your copy from Amazon here. We hope that you will join us each morning so that we can help you make your day the best it can be! See you tomorrow. Become a patron and support our work at http://www.Patreon.com/thementalbreakdown. Visit Psychreg for blog posts covering a variety of topics within the fields of mental health and psychology. The Parenting Your ADHD Child course is now on YouTube! Check it out at the Paedeia YouTube Channel. The Handbook for Raising an Emotionally Health Child Part 1: Behavior Management is now available on kindle! Get your copy today! The Elimination Diet Manual is now available on kindle and nook! Get your copy today! Follow us on Twitter and Facebook and subscribe to our YouTube Channels, Paedeia and The Mental Breakdown. Please leave us a review on iTunes so that others might find our podcast and join in on the conversation!

Using mindfulness to help our ADHD shouldn't work but actually, it can be the perfect antidote to our restless, reactive brains - as long as we're open to being more present and self-compassionate.Kate's guest this week is Dr Lidia Zylowska MD, an Associate Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences and is an internationally recognised expert in adult ADHD and mindfulness-based therapies. Her research pioneered the application of mindfulness in ADHD, helped co-found the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center and has been featured in ADDitude Magazine, Time Magazine, Boston Globe and New York Times. Dr Zylowska is also an author of two books, The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD and Mindfulness for Adult ADHD - A Clinician's Guide. During the episode, Kate and Lidia talk about: Compassionate and non-violent communicationManaging emotional regulation using ADHD-friendly mindfulness toolsHow to communicate your feelings without conflict and judgementMindfulness and feeling present beyond meditationWhat mindfulness can look and feel like with ADHDThe benefits of regular mindfulness practise for those with ADHDHow to integrate self-compassion and mindfulness into daily practice.You can find out more about Lidia's work via her website, lidiazylowska.com.Join the waitlist for my new program, ADHD Mindset & Energy Re-ProgrammeKate Moryoussef is a women's ADHD Lifestyle & Wellbeing coach and EFT practitioner helping overwhelmed yet unfulfilled (many with ADHD like her) women find more calm, balance, health, compassion, creativity and clarity. Have a look at some of Kate's workshops and free resources here.Follow the podcast on Instagram hereFollow Kate on Instagram hereHave a read of Kate's articles in ADDitude magazine here

Hellooo, and welcome to Season 10 of Mads World! You're about to listen to Hyperfocus & Heartbreaks: ADHD and Dating with ADHD Coach Charlotte Forbes!This week I am joined by ADHD Coach and content creator, Charlotte Forbes! Like many others, Charlotte discovered she had ADHD via learning about it from TikTok following the pandemic. She now coaches people to help them better understand themselves and creates content to entertain and educate people about ADHD on ADHDClub.co.uk and on socials. In this episode we discuss the importance of self-compassion, obviously Charlotte's funniest dating stories, her journey to becoming an ADHD Coach. how ADHD typically impacts relationships and dating experiences, her best tips and advice on dating someone with ADHD, and so much more.Useful Links, Podcasts and Books: ADDitude MagazineIs it my ADHD?ADHD Women's Wellbeing PodcastADHD ExpertsADHD ChatterADHD 2.0: New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction - from Childhood through Adulthood Women with Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your LifeADHD an A-Z: Figuring it Out Step by StepUnderstanding ADHD in Girls and WomenClick here to find Mads World social media, submit questions to the website, or buy me a coffee.Cover Art: VeredienMusic: The.Jones.Project_93Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/mads-world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Edward (Ned) Hallowell, M.D. is a board-certified child and adult psychiatrist and world authority on ADHD. He is a graduate of Harvard College and Tulane Medical School, and was a Harvard Medical School faculty member for 21 years. He is the Founder of The Hallowell ADHD Centers in Boston MetroWest, New York City, San Francisco, Palo Alto and Seattle. He has spent the past four decades helping thousands of adults and children live happy and productive lives through his strength-based approach to neurodiversity, and has ADHD and dyslexia himself. Dr Hallowell is a New York Times bestselling author and has written 20 books on multiple psychological topics. The groundbreaking Distraction series, which began with Driven to Distraction, co-authored with Dr John Ratey in 1994, sparked a revolution in understanding of ADHD. Dr Hallowell has been featured on 20/20, 60 Minutes, Oprah, PBS, CNN, The Today Show, Dateline, Good Morning America, The New York Times, USA Today, Newsweek, Time Magazine, the Los Angeles Times, the Boston Globe and many more. He is a regular columnist for ADDitude Magazine. Dr. Hallowell lives in the Boston area with his wife Sue and they have three children, Lucy, Jack and Tucker.

If you're parent of a child with ADHD, you are familiar with the battles of will that can result. What are the best ways to help kids with ADHD succeed without either coddling them or coming down too hard on them? Are you the parent of a child with ADHD who feels like nothing you try is working? Ryan Wexelblatt, also known as the "ADHD Dude," is here to help. Ryan, a licensed clinical social worker and father to a son with ADHD, creates content for the ADHDude YouTube channel and ADDitude Magazine. Ryan also provides parent training, in-person school-year programs, and a summer camp for boys.  Ryan, Amy, and Margaret discuss: -How to talk to kids with siblings who have ADHD -Why behavior prompts actually don't help long-term -How to use scaffolding to build important skills for kids Firm boundaries and consistency, rather than permissive parenting or special treatment, are going to help kids with ADHD more in the long-run, Ryan explains. Helping kids visualize the consequences of their actions– whether those kids have ADHD or not– is a good first step. Here's where you can find Ryan: -@adhddude on YouTube -@theadhddude on Instagram -@adhddude.ryanwexelblatt on Facebook -www.adhddude.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel like you are more sensitive to rejection, teasing, criticism, or your own perception that you have failed or fallen short? Or maybe you know someone who seems to be particularly hard on themselves and reactive to others? Everyone experiences some reaction to rejection, but individuals with RSD find themselves more likely to perceive harsh rejection and criticism where there might be none and can sometimes feel like they live in a chronic state of rejection. In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, dive deep into the complexities of rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) and its impact on neurodivergent individuals and the people around them. Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode: Understand the impact of RSD and how it can lead to chronic pain, affect relationships, and cause avoidance behaviors in professional and personal settings. Hear about some ways that RSD can impact relationship dynamics and major life changes and decisions. Learn about treatments and strategies to help with RSD, as well as ways to adapt therapeutic modalities to be more effective with neurodivergent individuals. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria can be difficult to navigate both internally and externally and can have a profound impact on the way you experience the world, but there are ways to address it that can help with reducing the intensity around feelings of rejection and finding ways to improve relationships through collaborative communication around RSD. Resources plus Exclusive Coupon Code Dr. Neff's Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria Workbook Bundle (Clinical Use): https://neurodivergentinsights.com/neurodivergentstore/p/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-clinical  Dr. Neff's Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria Workbook Bundle (Personal Use): https://neurodivergentinsights.com/neurodivergentstore/p/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-bundle Use Code: “DivergentConversationsListener” To get 20% off anything in the shop, including the RSD bundle.  Dr. Neff's free blog posts on RSD: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/category/Rejection+Sensitive+Dysphoria  The EFT attachment infinity loop can be downloaded here: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/couples-resources   A Thanks to Our Sponsor, Tula Consulting! ✨ Tula Consulting: We would love to thank Tula Consulting for sponsoring this episode. Workplace communication can be messy. Considering the lens of neurodiversity can be helpful for understanding this. Maybe you found yourself frustratedly typing "per my last email" in an office communication, perplexed about how a colleague or client doesn't seem to understand your very clearly written email. Consider this. Visual information processing isn't everyone's strength. Perhaps a quick call could make a world of difference. Or how about including a video or voice message with your email? And this technology exists! Simple steps like these can make your work environment more accessible and bring out the best in everyone. Tula Consulting is on a mission to help organizations build more neuro-inclusive products and work environments. Tula does this by bringing curious minds to solve curious problems. Find out more by visiting tulaneurodiversity.org.   Transcript PATRICK CASALE: Hey, so we are about to do an episode on RSD today, which I think we are going to turn into a two-part episode. One, because there's so much to cover. Too, because Megan just wrote a 170-page workbook on the subject. Three, because I am unbelievably jet lagged and haven't slept in days. And Megan is not feeling well and is sick. So, we're going to do what we can today to kind of jump into the introduction to this topic. But a lot of you submitted questions to our Instagram, a lot of you submitted questions in general, and we want to cover all of them. We just may not get there today. But this is certainly a topic that we are going to circle back to. So, because Megan just wrote a 170-page workbook, I'm going to turn it over to you to kind of set the stage. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, well, one problem is when you've been swimming in the literature it's hard to know where to start the conversation. So, yeah, how do I synthesize RSD? Well, RSD stands for rejection sensitive dysphoria. Yeah, I guess I'll go over the history of it briefly. So, it was coined by Dr. William Dotson, who if you don't know who that is, like, I recommend Googling him. He's got a lot of really awesome articles up. He's got a lot of webinars that are free through ADDitude Magazine. And he's, like, done a lot in really emphasizing kind of the emotion regulation struggle that often happens with ADHD. But yeah, he's the one that coined RSD. Although, you could actually go back to the '60s and there was a psychiatrist before him, Dr. Paul Wender, who was describing symptoms that now we realize are RSD, who's using the language of atypical depression. But looking back, we actually see, like, okay, that was undiagnosed or often undiagnosed ADHD. And it was RSD and emotion regulation struggles that he was describing. So, there have been breadcrumbs of this in the literature since the 1960s. But it was really in the last 20 years or so that it's become an actual term. It's not a diagnosis. It's not something you'd be diagnosed with. It comes out of the ADHD literature, so there's some debate, like, is this a specifically ADHD thing? And there's several people that say, yes, this is like a distinctive ADHD thing. So, that's the kind of, I guess, clinical definition of RSD. Oh, I guess what it is. So, the question that Dr. Dotson would ask his… and he's a psychiatrist, he's not a psychologist, he's a psychiatrist. But what he'd ask his people when they come in is this question, "For your entire life, have you always been much more sensitive than people you know to rejection, teasing, criticism, or your own perception that you failed or have fallen short?" And he said, 99% of ADHDers would have this like, yes. And not just, yes, but like, "Oh, my gosh, I feel like you know something about me that I've been so embarrassed to tell the people in my life." And then about a third of ADHDers said, "This is the hardest part of ADHD to live with." So, it's pretty significant when we think about kind of the clinical picture of ADHD. Okay, I'll take a breather there. So, that's, I guess, the clinical definition, is it's a really intense, physical, emotional response to the perception of rejection. Or even, like, I guess self-rejection in the sense of like, I didn't live up to my own standards or bar, yes. PATRICK CASALE: And this is very different than other forms of rejection. And I think that's important. Like, you went over that in your... was it Misdiagnosis Monday that you created the diagram for recently? MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, so I created a Venn diagram comparing, like, what is normative rejection sensitivity and then what is RSD? And that's actually typically where I start the conversation. Earlier I was like, "Oh, I don't know where to start the conversation. I usually start with like the evolutionary history." Rejection sensitivity is like a human experience and thank goodness it is. So, if we look at it from an evolutionary lens, the idea that belonging to a group literally meant survival for most of human history. You know, we're pack creatures, and we're not the biggest or strongest species, but it's our ability to think together, to be together, to problem solve together that has meant humans have survived. So, the thinking goes, and this is, you know, any evolutionary psychology is going to be an oversimplification, but kind of the thinking goes, so our anatomy hasn't caught up, right? So, if we perceive rejection, we can experience that as a threat to belonging, therefore a threat to survival on a very kind of automatic level because it's like it's baked into our DNA. And so we haven't caught up to the fact that we don't actually have to belong to the group to survive in modern life. But our body chemistry or our nervous system hasn't caught up to that. So, I like to frame, like, rejection sensitivity through that lens of, yeah, this makes sense as a human experience and it's a spectrum. Some people have really intense. So, like, if you have RSD, you're going to have a really intense rejection sensitivity, whereas other people have more mild rejection sensitivity. But yeah, that is what I did on the Venn diagram and the articles. I walk through, like, this is what normative rejection sensitivity looks like and this is what RSD looks like because RSD is above and beyond that normative sensitivity to rejection. PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, thanks for setting the stage like that because I think it's important to delineate between the two. Like, it's absolutely a process of human experience to feel hurt when they feel rejected, or to feel vulnerable, or to feel insecure, or to feel unsafe. But this takes this to a whole new level, right? Because the symptomology, the struggles that come with RSD can really intensify very quickly and be unbelievably debilitating. MEGAN NEFF: Absolutely, absolutely. Yes, debilitating. And like, yeah, I think that captures it. And that is part of, like, that's one of the ways I distinguish between, like, RSD versus normative of how much is influencing the person's decisions or daily life. And if, like, a fear of rejection, a fear of putting ourselves out there is significantly influencing our decision, that has a lot of control over our day-to-day. And typically, it's not a great thing for our well-being when fear is controlling. There's a lot of avoidance that can often happen for people when they have RSD. Like, avoidance of social situations, or putting themselves out there for like a job promotion. So, there can be career implications, romantic implications. Like, I can't even imagine asking someone out on a date, right? What if I'm rejected? So, yeah, it can be really debilitating. PATRICK CASALE: I see it show up a lot in the coaching that I do because of the entrepreneurial side of my business with a lot of my ADHD coaching clients, where it's really hard to even put themselves out there on social media, it's really hard to create content, it's really hard to put their own spin on something because God forbid someone comes in and critiques it or says something that really sends them down that shame spiral. MEGAN NEFF: So, I actually just had a really interesting consultation around this. And right now I'm working with a psychoanalyst because I'm wanting to… this is a little bit of a divergent trail, I'm wanting to… So, as a psychologist, when I work one-on-one with people, I have a relational framework for the work I do. And I've realized having a framework is really helpful. So, I'm wanting to figure out how to adapt that relational framework to what I do as a public psychologist. So, I've been consulting with… a lot of people consult with like business coaches, I'm consulting with a psychoanalyst to figure out how do I bring a relational framework to the work I'm doing? PATRICK CASALE: That's right. MEGAN NEFF: But part of what came up was this, I've realized in writing this workbook that RSD is probably the number one block when it comes to, especially, social media because social media is just such a vicious space right now. It can be, I shouldn't make global statements, it can be. And one thing I was talking about was how as an autistic person, my ideas, and my emotions are not separate. So, as an autistic ADHDer, right? Like, and I see that a lot with autistic people, our ideas, and our emotions, our ideas, our values, and our personhood are so integrated. So, when I put my ideas out there, I'm putting a lot of myself out there, and then you layer on top of that RSD, damn, that's hard. PATRICK CASALE: It is. That's such a great way to kind of just put that out there too. And I know that you've been on the receiving end as I have too, your audience is significantly bigger, so you probably receive more of it, but I've been on the receiving end of text messages with you where someone said something nasty, or really like offensive, or just inappropriate, and how debilitating… why do I keep using that word? How painful that [CROSSTALK 00:10:1]1- MEGAN NEFF: ...today. PATRICK CASALE: I don't know, I feel like my brain is moving at like MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, we're both struggling. PATRICK CASALE: [CROSSTALK 00:10:19] but how painful that experience has been for you and how it makes you kind of retreat inward, and then a void. MEGAN NEFF: It does. So, I just recently switched things up. And it's actually been so good for my mental health. Like, the way I joke about is that I've emotionally broken up with social media because what I was noticing, I noticed a few things and it's so helpful to have the RSD lens. Like, probably for the first six months, when I was growing, it was really exciting. I'd open the app, I'd be excited to see like how many like, you know, because I had these little posts that would just go viral. And it'd be exciting to see that. And then it shifted to where I'd open the app and I would dread like, "Oh, no, did it go viral?" Or like my stomach would drop every time I open the app. Or every time I open a DM or the comments, like, half the time I literally kind of open the comments because I would feel so stuck of like, what am I going to see? 99% of the comments are really incredible things to read. But of course, those aren't the ones that stick to my brain. It's the 1% of it. Again, I want to tease apart, some of the comments that are critiques have been really, really good learning experiences for me. And then some of them are just like rude, and unkind, and come with a lot of hostility. And I do value the ones that are hard to take in but those have been good learning experiences for me. Yeah, I got to a point where I would feel physically sick opening the app. So, what I've done is I've turned comments off. I have an auto DM. And I will go days without opening the app. So, I will open it on Monday and Wednesday when I post. And you know how you can see on your phone how much time you've spent, like I spend like five minutes a week on Instagram. And it's amazing. And I feel like I've so much of my nervous system back, I have so much my mental real estate back. And I'm reinvesting that. I've launched my more community-oriented membership. And I'm reinvesting that energy in people who are really committed to showing up and engaging authentically. And I cannot explain what a difference that has made for my mental health. PATRICK CASALE: I'm really happy that you've done that for yourself because I know the amount of energy it takes. I also know how impactful it becomes. And it becomes a situation where you have… I, typically, in these moments will shut down, I will avoid, I'll turn everything off, I have to disconnect from everything. And then you're right, there's like this fearfulness of even opening the app back up. There's this like overwhelming dread sensation of like having to look at anything where you may perceive it in any sort of way that feels critical or… and not in a bad way because criticism is not always a bad thing, like you mentioned. But there are just people who like to just say stupid shit just to say stupid shit. And you have free rein to do that on the internet. So, it becomes really hard for people who are in online practices who are therapists who will have to network virtually, who have to show up online because that can really intensify very quickly and all of a sudden that leads to that shutdown or the disconnection. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah. No, I love how you're connecting it to entrepreneurship because I think there's a lot of, particularly, ADHD entrepreneurs and RSD is very ADHD thing. And like, that double-edged sword of, yeah, like, you have to put yourself out there to be an entrepreneur. And oh, my goodness, if you put yourself out there, you're going to face criticism. You just are. Like, you can't please everyone. And something I like that's a mantra I remind myself, but when you have RSD you have to. PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, you're right. And that's why I keep bringing up the entrepreneurial side is because so many ADHDers that I know are entrepreneurs and it makes sense. Like, it works with the way the brain functions, and the creativity, and the spontaneity, and all the innovation. And like, it's also really challenging because it is about showing up. And you mentioned something before that's sticking in my mind about like, the inner connection of like the inner woven thought, feeling, experience for autistic people. And I get that very much and so much of ourselves when we put ourselves out there in that way, is like this is an extension of how I'm feeling and how I'm moving through the world. So, for it to be picked apart at times of like, "Oh, well, this isn't that character, this doesn't sound right, or like, I don't like the way this came across." All of a sudden it becomes this, like, sensation or this experience of my personhood, like, my sense of self is being under attack right now. And that makes me want to, like, bury my head and hide. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And then, again, I guess, to bring it back to the AuDHD experience, like, another thing I see and I experience as an autistic person is like the fear of putting something out there and it being factually wrong. Like, I think that's one of my biggest fears. And I see that with a lot of autistic people. Like, what if I write something, and then in five years new research comes out, and like that language, and that, like, I've been talking to my spouse a lot about… my business has just become a huge source of stress if I'm working way too many hours, and I'm chronically sick. So, something has to change. And one of the things I was realizing and talking with my spouse, the reason I'm so stressed is I'm frantically because I have this membership that I've historically published a workbook a month that also means I've got like 20 workbooks, and I'm like, what is wrong in that, that I now want to go back and update? Because the idea of like, anything being out in the world that has my name on it, that might be factually wrong, from an autistic lens is also, like, very unfathomable. PATRICK CASALE: And I imagine how unmanageable that becomes too, that it's like, "Oh, I have a 170-page workbook. Now I have to go back and add or edit and revise." And like, very time consuming, obviously. But, you know, Luke is obviously a God sent too, so… MEGAN NEFF: Yes, that's what he is [INDISCERNINBLE 00:16:44] one. But yeah, so I think, especially, the autistic ADHD experience, it gets complicated because there's a lot of different layers that we can feel rejected or criticized. So, this, I think, is a really important part of RSD. And I think this becomes an important part of learning how to work with RSD when our brain is hyper-vigilantly scanning for signs of rejection, what it means is that, like, the wiring around that is going to become like, and the neural pathways are going to become really forged around, like, perceiving rejection, which means we're going to perceive it when it's not actually there. And this is where I think partnerships and friendships really suffer. Like, let's say two ADHDers, right? So, like, someone forgets to call or someone forgets, like, because working memory, it can be a struggle, and the person with RSD that might trigger, like, that person doesn't care about me, and it could trigger so many narratives, when it's really like, oh, something came up and they forgot. And I think that is part of what causes so much pain around RSD is it's like someone is perceiving it chronically when they're not actually being rejected. PATRICK CASALE: That's what I come across the most too when people are asking questions around RSD is like, well, if I'm moving through the world where I'm constantly feeling this pain of rejection or experiencing it this way, how do I then move through the world? Because it's so hard to maintain friendships, working relationships, professional relationships, etc. when I'm experiencing RSD so intensely in all of these situations. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, for a lot of people it's like, okay, it's easier just not to put myself out there. It's easier not to be in a relationship. It's easier to make my world small. And that's a really sad solution. PATRICK CASALE: It is because there's so many feelings of isolation, and loneliness, and disconnection as there is for a lot of neurodivergent people, so intentionally shrinking your world to protect yourself from potential harm, it's really, really hard. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We haven't even talked about that aspect of RSD of, and this is why, like, you also hear autistic people talk about RSD. I'm really curious, we haven't seen a study on this but I'd be curious if we did a study that controlled for the ADHD because we know so many autistic people have ADHD, like purely autistic people, would they still have RSD? I'd love to see a study on that. But the neurodivergent experience of just perpetual miss-attunement, like we have had more rejection. So, that's another complicating factor, right? We're more likely to perceive it, but partly that's because we are more likely to have experienced social victimization and rejection. And then it becomes this kind of vicious feedback loop of if we show up anticipating rejection, we might have developed psychological defenses and ways of being in the world that actually make it more likely for us to be rejected. And, yeah, it's vicious. PATRICK CASALE: We've talked before about, like, how we always lay out the pain points because so much of the experience is pain points, honestly. But if we're saying this, right? And then we take a step back from the clinical lens for people to say, okay, this is my experience, this is my world, this is every day, this is how I move through relationships, this is how I perceive conversation and feedback. What do we do? MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, no, I mean, there are things we can do. And I'm going to kind of put it in two buckets, psychopharmacological. Okay, big words and brain fog don't mix well today. And then kind of psychological treatments or therapeutic, like, more traditional type treatments. And again, this comes from Dr. Dotson's work, but he has talked about, so there's a class of medications, I'm going to actually look it up so I make sure I'm using the right words, that it's a non-stimulant medication, that it's a class of medications that's sometimes used for a for ADHD. So, alpha agonist is the class, and clonidine and guanfacine are the two medications within that class. Okay, this is really technical, but both have about a 30% response rate. So, a response rate when we're talking about medication is kind of significant reduction of symptoms when the person is on it. So, 30% isn't great. But these two medications are different enough that if you try one, and it doesn't work, and you try the other, there's about a 55 to 60% response rate that one of these will work for you. That's actually a pretty good response rate when it comes to medication. And Dr. Dotson, and again, he is a psychiatrist, but like, he will talk about how he's worked with people who have maybe been like, psychoanalysts for 10 years. RSD wasn't touched, they go on medication, and it's like they ask a girl out for the first time or they apply for that job. Like, it provides emotional armor that they needed. A, to just get out of that avoidance suit, but B, to actually be able to engage like the talk therapy tools. We often need some sort of armor or just regulation to be able to engage the tools that are useful. So, I think that's a really helpful frame just to realize, like, there are medications out there that might be helpful for some people. PATRICK CASALE: That is definitely helpful. And then, you know, on the other bucket, the psychological framework and toolkit that we're talking about, what are strategies that you think are useful? MEGAN NEFF: So, yeah, like a lot of kind of the traditional emotion regulation strategies, but then like, a little bit more targeted. First of all, I think, learning about the rejection sensitivity lens, I say this a lot, and sometimes it gets big reactions, but like, we have to learn to not always trust our minds. Like, our minds are not always helpful. Sometimes, like- PATRICK CASALE: Totally. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, our minds love attention. And so sometimes it'll spew the most mean, negative, alarming things at us to get our attention. And this is one area where I think learning to not trust our minds becomes really important, realizing, okay, I am prone to have like a rejection goggles on or rejection lens on, which means I'm going to see it when, like, maybe my partner isn't actually trying to reject me, or maybe my boss is genuinely giving me… like, is intending good for me in this constructive feedback. So, I think one really getting clarity on that lens so that we can identify when that's on so that we can unhook from it a little bit more. I would say that's the first step. Other steps like emotion regulation strategies. So, again, if we put this back into the perspective of a threat response, our nervous system, our stress state, our fight, flight, freeze, fawn wherever we go in our nervous system is going to be activated when we're perceiving rejection. So, I'm a big fan of like nervous system mapping, which I think that comes from polyvagal theory. I don't love all of polyvagal theory, but I like this idea of nervous system mapping of like, let me map where I am in my stress response, and then figure out what tools you need. So, if you're someone who goes, like hyperarousal, you would need downregulation strategies to kind of help cool the body off. So, emotion regulation strategies. And then, also, things like knowing your rejection triggers, knowing your, like, what I call raw, but what I didn't come up with the term, but raw spots. Like, what are those raw spots or those areas in our life where maybe we have some attachment wounds, or some relational wounds so when they get bumped they pull a big reaction from us, getting a lot of clarity about, like, what are your rough spots? Why? What's the history of those? What happens to you when those get activated? So, also, like a ton of insight, right? Insight into your relational patterns, into your psyche. I'll stop there, that was a bit. There's, I'm sure more. PATRICK CASALE: Those are good to start out with so that people can implement this stuff and start, you know, doing their own research or incorporating these into their day-to-day because I think it's important to be proactive, too, because I think you're mentioning so many important tips right now and the raw spot suggestion, great suggestion, right? Because if you know what creates these triggers for you, then you can work on, you know, preventing, or at least putting into practice something that will help regulate when you're going into events like that or moments like that. I actually don't like at all, and I just want to be clear about this, CBT but REBT, rational emotive behavioral therapy, when you do like the ABCDE model of like activating event, behavioral challenge, challenging belief disputation, because what we're talking about is like, my wife's not picking up the phone, she must not love me anymore. And we're jumping to these conclusions, we're catastrophizing a lot, and I like that you said, don't always trust your brain because there are always, and I don't want to use blanket statements either, there are often alternative explanations for behavior. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah. Wait, so are you saying you don't typically like CBT but you do like that CBT exercise? PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, I like that exercise because it allows you to say like, what's the activating event? Okay, she doesn't pick up the phone. My immediate reaction is she doesn't love me anymore, right? Like, and then you've kind of processed it through that lens of like, but what are the other scenarios here for not picking up the phone? MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, I'm glad you say that because I'm with you. And that, like, I tend to not default to CBT, especially, for neurodivergent or anyone who's had a marginalized experience in the world because I think it can be really invalidating. But then there's these tools from CBT that I really like. And I'm like, well, if you put it in context, this can actually be really helpful. And I don't want us to, like, throw the baby out with the bathwater. So, I'll talk about that too, like putting your thoughts through a reality filter. And there's certain questions you can ask to be like, okay, is this thought helpful to me right now? Is it like, yeah, are there cognitive distortions that are, like, influencing this? Kind of that detective work of like, let me become a detective of my own mind, and my own experience, and my own thoughts, which even just the act of stepping outside of the experience into that observing detective, ideally, non-evaluative, non-judgmental mode is therapeutic, no matter where you land on the reality filter of the thought. PATRICK CASALE: Absolutely, yeah. And I'll just piggyback on my statement of saying I'm not a fan of CBT. I know how harmful it is for marginalized communities and for neurodivergent folks in… oh, we could have a whole episode on therapeutic modalities that don't work well for neurodivergent human beings. But if you put it through that lens, and I like that you use that word, you can start becoming that detective, you can start, like, taking that step back because it's really helpful when it feels like almost everything is creating this intensification of experiences that leaves you feeling like you're not able to participate in your life because you just feel like you can't put yourself out there or you can't, you know, speak your mind, or you feel like you just can't show up the way you want to show up. And I think that's really challenging for a lot of ND folks, too, is like, if I can't show up authentically, that really feels uncomfortable and that feels really painful, too. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, I mean, that then ties into like masking and RSD which that can be its own, like complex conversation. But yeah, if masking helps reduce RSD you could see how like, okay, I'm going to say this, but then I'm going to unpack it, masking becomes a form of self-care. And I don't mean that masking is actually self-care, but like, in that option of like, I'm either going to, like, spiral, like, the fear of I'm going to spiral with RSD because I'm going to show up authentically and you know, the fear, it's not going to be perceived, or I'm going to mask, I could see how for someone masking feels like the less energy cost of the two. And again, that's assuming that masking is like a choice, which it often is not. But it's just that is an interesting, like, yeah, the masking RSD dynamic. PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, absolutely. So, I think we could take this in a variety of ways. And I think we could talk about, like, partnership and RSD, I think we could talk about so many different avenues. I also don't know how your energy is and I want to check on that. MEGAN NEFF: No, I actually feel like I've talked a lot about like content creation in RSD, which is not going to be, like, the majority of people listening to this. So, I'd love to spend some energy to generalize it more to, yeah, relationships, workplace, things like that. PATRICK CASALE: Yeah. MEGAN NEFF: Absolutely. PATRICK CASALE: So, let's talk relationships. Whether it's, you know, different neurotypes, same neurotype, one person is experiencing RSD, one person's not, that can be really challenging because conflict can arise in relationships, and often does. And it can feel really, really painful to feel like you are being critiqued, or you feel really vulnerable, or you're, you know, feeling like you're spiraling often in conversations with your partner. And I imagine then the other partner would then feel that challenge too of like, I don't even know what I can say. MEGAN NEFF: Yes, yeah. I mean, I think it's painful for both people involved, right? Because if one person feels like they're walking on eggshells, right? That's kind of the famous metaphor, that is not healthy for a relationship if there's not the capacity to talk openly about what is happening, and if hard conversations spiral into, like, emotion dysregulation and conflict. So, that is a really painful scenario for both partners involved. Yeah, absolutely. With relationships, I'd be curious to kind of like overlay attachment style and RSD. And attachment theory is one that like it gets critiqued for being oversimplified, but I find it a really helpful lens, even with it being, if people know like, okay, this is probably an oversimplification, I still find it really helpful and to someone who has RSD and also, anxiously attached, like, there's going to be some big emotions when they perceive like an attachment injury or where they perceive they're being criticized. And again, kind of, I'm mapping, I guess, is my word today, but mapping out what are the attachment styles. There's a really great exercise from EFT therapy. It's infinity loop. I have a link on my website, I could link it in our show notes. But it's essentially you map out, like, what happens in the aftermath of an attachment injury. Like, what story does each partner start telling? What did they start doing, right? So, some partners will retreat, some will go to work because it's like, we have to fix this. But then that activates another story, like a secondary story. So, you can map out like, okay, what happens to us in an attachment injury. I think exercises like that become really helpful because then you can understand and name the chaos without a map of like, what is happening here? It's really confusing. PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I'm glad you mentioned that because I think recognizing the attachment style and the pattern and then being able to, again, step back when you're not activated and look at it, and say, okay, now I get a sense of like, what's happening in these moments because what you don't want to do, like you said, it's not a healthy partnership if you're walking on eggshells if you feel like you can't have communication, and it's very different experiences on either side, so each partner is experiencing this painfully but very differently, too. MEGAN NEFF: Absolutely, absolutely, yeah. Like, I think ideally the RSD could almost be externalized and be talked about as like a thing in the relationship, right? Like, okay, we just hit an RSD wall, or like, we just triggered the RSD. I love externalizing both and like individual techniques, I do it all the time. Like with, oh, my mind is doing this thing, right. That's it. I'm externalizing it. I'm making it less connected to me. I'm saving the relationships when we can externalize it and it's like, let's collaboratively solve the struggle we're experiencing around this RSD trigger versus you versus me. That really changes the conversation. PATRICK CASALE: It feels much more like teamwork at that point in time. And going back to your detective analogy before, like, you're both putting on that detective hat of like, how can we solve this together? Instead of you're injuring me versus I'm experiencing our relationship this way. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. Yeah, yeah, that makes such a big difference when partners can do that, like stand side by side, look at the dynamic together versus… I see that a lot, so much like accusations, and kind of like, I mean, our narcissism episode just came out. Like, you are a narcissist, or you're gaslighting me. Like these huge words get thrown out, or can get thrown out when we're looking at the other person as the problem versus looking at the dynamic, or the issue, or the like the process, content versus process. Like, that's a communication thing of when we're locked in the content, which we typically are during in RSD trigger. That means we're locked in like, the thing we're talking about. Process is kind of like bird's eye view, like what is actually happening here relationally? You can get unhooked from the content enough to have some process conversation, some process reflection, that is so helpful in relationships. PATRICK CASALE: Absolutely, 100%. And I think that's also a good transition point into professional relationships. Like, because those things happen in the workplace, too. And it can happen with your co-workers, it can happen from a employee/employer standpoint, and the implications can be pretty huge, like you said, not trying to go for that promotion that you wanted, not talking out in staff meetings because you're going to feel rejected for how you come across. There are so many ways that this can show up in the workplace, too. MEGAN NEFF: Absolutely, absolutely. And I think it's going to depend like, so I talked about, well, Dotson talks about three ways people can respond to RSD, I've added a fourth one. And I have like a little matrix up of like the different ways people can typically respond to RSD. So, workplace stress is going to depend on like, what is your kind of default response? So, like, perfectionism is a really common response to RSD. Like, if I just never make a mistake, then I'm fine. No one's ever going to perceive any of this, right? It's totally illogical, except it's not because we're going to make mistakes. People pleasing, so kind of, like, I put that in under the fawn mode. Like, perpetual people pleasing, like reading, like, what does this person want from me? And a lot of people that are RSD become really good at like, kind of taking in a person, figuring out exactly who they want the person to be. I think that ties back into masking and other things. And then avoidance. So, just like, I'm going to avoid putting myself out there. I think that's the one we've talked about the most in this episode. And then the one I added is the like projector or someone who gets like fight mode when they're perceiving rejection. So, yeah, workplace, if you're a perfectionist people pleaser, with RSD in the workplace, you're going to burn out really fast. PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, yeah. It's going to look like workaholism, right? And you're going to be potentially putting in extra hours that are unnecessary, you're going to be taking on additional tasks that you don't really have the capacity for or don't want to do. And you're going to be one of those employees potentially that goes above and beyond for everything. And then ultimately, it's like, fuck, I can't do this job anymore. This is not manageable for me. This is not sustainable. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah. And like I think you and I were probably both in that category. And I think that then resentment can come in. So, I would say it's like a more low-simmer chronic RSD response, right? Because there's this illusion of I can, yeah, evade rejection if I just work harder. But then the resentment that builds up, the burnout that that builds up. Absolutely, yeah. PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, absolutely. And then it leads to either termination or leads to quitting a job that you may have been able to navigate or find some accommodation for and it can be really challenging. I think that if we're looking at the whole person, this is so impactful interpersonally, in relationships, in employment places, employment places, places of employment, [INDISCERNIBLE 00:39:39] but it's so impactful. So, knowing the triggers, like you said, implementing some of these soothing strategies for your nervous system, being able to have these conversations, being able to externalize. I think there are a lot of good strategies that you're naming and mentioning right now. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, yeah. And then also for the avoiders, right? Like getting out of the avoidance loop, which essentially, a lot of anxiety-based treatments are all about targeting avoidance because avoidance feeds anxiety. So, I would add that tool for the avoiders, and especially, with the workplace. Like, avoiders are probably going to be underemployed, they're not going to be going up for that promotion, they're not going to be putting themselves out there. And so really targeting avoidance, using exposure. Gosh, it's going to be a whole other episode. Actually, I feel some guilt about this because I think I used to be one of the voices that said this, and I'm now seeing it on social media a lot. Like, exposure therapy doesn't work for autistic people. Exposure therapy doesn't work for sensory habituation. But that doesn't mean it doesn't work for PTSD triggers, for anxiety. So, we have to get out of this, I think it's a dangerous mindset to say exposure therapy doesn't work for autistic people. When you're in an anxious-driven avoidance loop, you absolutely have to do exposure. Like, it can be natural, it should be led by you. So, for that person exposure and addressing the anxiety would be a really important part of the toolkit. PATRICK CASALE: Glad you name that. I think that's a really good tip and also good framework for the recognition that in some instances certain techniques and strategies are useful, like we said before, despite not being useful as like a blanket statement or across the board. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah, I'm starting to become more gentle in my language use. Like, I think I used to be like, "This kind of therapy is bad." Like, I used to say, like, "CBT is bad for autistic people." I'm now more around like things need to be adapted, right? So, you need to adapt exposure therapy when you do it for an autistic person, 1,000%. If you're using CBT, you should adapt it and consider the marginalized experiences. So, I'm kind of like, yeah, I'm changing my narrative a little bit and how I talk about it. I'm softening it to talk more about adapting and less about what's good and what's bad. PATRICK CASALE: I think it's also important to like, differentiate between taking one simple tool, or technique, or strategy from something, opposed to saying like, okay, CBT as a whole, we don't like it. But this one technique really is useful if we adapt it in a neurodivergent affirmative way. And I think that you could do that with a lot of different therapeutic interventions and modalities. MEGAN NEFF: Absolutely, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. PATRICK CASALE: Usually, three yeahs in a row from you is like, all right, let's transition out. So, is that where we're at? MEGAN NEFF: I mean, I don't know how long we've been recording. You're right. Like, you said this before we started recording because we were both feeling really lousy. And I was like, "I don't know if this will be a good episode." You were like, "Usually when we start talking it like works." I feel like I could talk longer. But I also feel like I could be done. I don't know, what do you feel? PATRICK CASALE: I feel the same way. I think we've been recording now for about 45 minutes so- MEGAN NEFF: Okay, good length. PATRICK CASALE: Good length of time. And I think it's a good foundational episode to then build off of for different perspectives. I think we can also have people on here to talk about their own RSD experiences, and how it shows up, and how they work through it, or try to manage, and support themselves. So, I think we can go a lot of directions with this. MEGAN NEFF: Yeah. And I mean, I love, we should definitely do a like answer questions follow up because I think people have a lot of questions around this topic. And so we could do that. PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, will say I didn't think about even asking for questions for the episode until like 10 minutes before we started recording. We got like six questions immediately. So, I think that with another day or two, we could compile all that and we can address that the next time we record. MEGAN NEFF: Let's do that. PATRICK CASALE: Cool. Well, for those of you who don't know, Megan, and I haven't recorded in like three and a half weeks because I've been gone and I just appreciate being able to fall back into this even though we feel crappy, like connected in that way. So, just want to thank you for that. What was I going to say? MEGAN NEFF: I think episodes are out every Friday on all major platforms, Spotify, Apple… PATRICK CASALE: What Megan just said, new episodes are out every single Friday. If you have topic requests, if you have questions you want answered, please email our Gmail address that's attached to our Instagram, which is divergentconversationspodcast@gmail.com. We do read those. We don't always respond because we just don't always have the capacity or the spoons to do so. And new episodes are out every single Friday on all major platforms and YouTube. And Megan has a 170-page workbook on RSD that you can purchase from her website at neurodivergentinsights.com. And that will be linked in the show notes as well. Cool. All right, goodbye.

Dr. J. Russell (Russ) Ramsay, a world-renowned adult ADHD expert, joins us to discuss the mental health disorder of anxiety and how it interacts with our ADHD. Lots of great insights on how ADHD can create anxiety. ·       Anxiety is an intolerance of uncertainty - Disorder of the "what if?" thinking. ·       ADHD is a constant uncertainty generator. ·       ADHD is consistently inconsistent. Russ has started his own virtual practice recently (he is now a fellow entrepreneur) and he can be found at his website. You can find Dr. Russ' article from ADDitude Magazine about ADHD and Anxiety: Symptoms, Connections & Coping Mechanisms here. Dr. Russ also discusses Coping with Anxiety and Adult ADHD in the Pandemic Work on the ADDitude Expert Series Podcast Episode 311. Check out the ADHD Transform Journey Program that is now available. We would like to hear from you!  Please send show ideas, questions, or feedback to podcast@tacticalbts.com and join our mailing list here!  Follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube. Check out our website at Tactical Breakthroughs. André Brisson can also be found on LinkedIn. You can find other Podcast Episodes here!

Dayna Abraham has become a trusted and proven leader in the parenting community. She is the founder of the popular parenting site 'Lemon Lime Adventures' which has accumulated over 41 million viewers in less than seven years. She is also the CEO of Calm the Chaos, a seven-figure company which offers Dayna's compassionate framework to support thousands of parents worldwide. Her work has also been showcased in Huffington Post, Babble, Scary Mommy, Buzzfeed, ADDitude Magazine, and Positive Parenting Solutions. She is also the author of Superkids Activity Guide to Conquering Everyday and Sensory Processing 101.“My name is Dayna. Despite being a National Board Certified teacher with a background in Early Childhood, I spent the first 7 years of parenting thinking I was alone and terrible at parenting. It has become my mission to never let another parent feel this way. Much like many of you, I was never told there were more than 5 sensory systems, and I was for sure never told about the effects of the sensory systems on behavior and navigating life.  I've dedicated my life's work to sensory processing, intense emotions and embracing kids that don't "Fit". I have made it my mission to learn as much as I possibly can, and in turn share as much information with others. My book CALM THE CHAOS: A Failproof Roadmap for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids is a revolutionary guide for parents of kids that struggle with big emotions, power struggles, or challenging behaviors.”Links:https://lemonlimeadventures.com/https://calmthechaosbook.com/?utm_source=lla&utm_medium=menu

Is Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder underdiagnosed or overdiagnosed? Should we think of it as a product of nature, nurture, or a combination of the two? Is it best treated as a developmental condition children will grow out of, or a lifelong neurological difference? Should it be approached differently in boys versus girls? Should society accommodate it like a disability, or should those who have this diagnosis adapt themselves to fit the world? Can it best be remedied by lifestyle, therapy, coaching, or medication? And, if left untreated, are young people at risk of failure-to-launch?In this episode, I had a conversation with Ryan Wexelblatt, also known as the ADHD Dude, about the topic of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and how it is perceived in our society. We delved into the nature versus nurture debate and explored the role of lifestyle factors in ADHD. Ryan argues that while environmental factors can exacerbate symptoms, ADHD itself is not caused by these factors. Ryan highlights the need to differentiate between normal developmental processes and the underlying executive functioning challenges associated with ADHD. Ryan emphasizes the importance of following scientific evidence and understanding that ADHD is a genetic condition with biological markers.We also discussed the concept of time blindness, which refers to the difficulty individuals with ADHD have in perceiving the passage of time, and how this may be influenced by our modern world, with its constant access to technology and lack of natural time markers.Moving on to the specific challenges faced by boys with ADHD, we explored the importance of understanding the differences in how boys develop social skills compared to girls. Ryan highlights the need for a male perspective in the field of ADHD and social skills training, as many existing approaches tend to teach overly formal etiquette that may not resonate with boys. We also address the issue of self-diagnosis and the influence of social media, cautioning against the misinformation and oversimplification that can occur in online discussions about ADHD.Ryan Wexelblatt is a licensed clinical social worker, former school social worker, and father to a son.  Ryan founded ADHD Dude, an evidence-informed resource for parents of children diagnosed with ADHD that provides practical strategies to address ADHD-related challenges. He has worked in the field for two decades and is a contributor to ADDitude Magazine. Ryan creates content for the ADHD Dude YouTube channel and the ADHD Dude Membership Site. Ryan is about to launch "Raising Boys On the Spectrum", the first male-specific resource for parents of boys diagnosed with higher-verbal autism. Originally from Philadelphia, Ryan and his son live in Tucson, Arizona.Books mentioned in this episode:"Feminism Against Progress" by Mary HarringtonAll books mentioned on this podcast can be found at sometherapist.com/bookshop or by following the embedded Amazon links. Affiliate commissions from these purchases help support the show. Thank you!Other resources mentioned in this episode: ADHD Dude YouTube channel ADDitude Magazine Timestamps/chapters:[00:00:00] Failure to launch.[00:05:42] Minimal Brain Dysfunction.[00:07:45] Environmental factors and ADHD.[00:12:46] Cognitive inflexibility and ADHD.[00:16:30] Difficulty with executive functioning.[00:18:40] Time perception and ADHD.[00:23:08] Time and nature's rhythm.[00:25:11] Sensing the passage of time.[00:28:32] Mother's risk-taking in daycare.[00:32:51] Autism diagnosis and social media.[00:36:13] Social skills for boys.[00:39:16] Teaching organic connection skills.[00:43:24] Lack of empathy for others.[00:48:48] Video game addiction.[00:51:29] Parent-child relationship dynamics.[00:54:08] Reducing parental accommodation.[00:56:32] Giving and being flexible.[01:00:27] Developing executive functioning skills.[01:03:03] Shifting to declarative language.[01:06:41] The Socratic method.[01:11:05] Emasculated males with autism.[01:15:28] Lopsided dynamics in parenting.[01:19:44] Your courage is appreciated.[01:23:41] The End of Gender.[01:25:21] Intolerance in diversity training.[01:28:14] Gender critical therapy.[01:33:39] Discrimination in healthcare. If you enjoyed this conversation, please rate & review it on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Share this episode with a friend, or on social media. You can also head over to my YouTube channel, subscribe, like, comment, & share there as well.To get $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover visit EightSleep.com & enter promo code SOMETHERAPIST.Take 20% off your entire purchase of nourishing superfood beverages at Organifi with code SOMETHERAPIST.Be sure to check out my shop. In addition to wellness products, you can now find my favorite books!MUSIC: Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. www.joeypecoraro.comPRODUCTION: Thanks to Eric and Amber Beels at DifMix.comYou can now watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use promo code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. nowaybackfilm.com Follow us on Twitter @2022affirmation or on Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, plus other perks TBD.Get your first month free with promo code GRANDFATHER; after that, it's only $8/month. Check it out at somekindoftherapist.locals.com. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

You have to know your child's executive age to truly parent them successfully. ~ Leslie Josel During this rebroadcast episode Leslie Josel and I take a deep dive into executive functioning issues and executive age. WE TALK ABOUT ✔️The difference between ADHD and executive functioning issues ✔️What executive functions are and why she prefers to call them purposeful actions ✔️What has to happen in order for executive functions to work properly ✔️Understanding your kids' executive age to truly parent them successfully. ………….. GUEST RESOURCES Leslie Josel, an ADHD-student and parenting coach, is an award-winning entrepreneur, having founded Order Out Of Chaos – an organization whose mission is to help parents guide their students to success in learning and in life. She's also an award-winning author, creator of the award-winning “Academic Planner: A Tool For Time Management,” and an internationally acclaimed speaker. Leslie has been named as one of the top time management experts in the world by Global Gurus five years in a row. She continues to learn from her audiences, sharing her observations with readers of ADDitude Magazine in her weekly column, “Dear ADHD Family Coach." Website: www.orderoochaos.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/orderoutofchaos Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/order.out.of.chaos/ PODCAST EPISODE MENTIONED: Creating Order Out of Chaos in Mom Life With Leslie Josel https://www.visiondrivenmom.com/podcasts/vision-driven-mom-with-adhd/episodes/2147652916 ………….. ADHD SUPPORTS GUIDE www.visiondrivenmom.com/adhdsupports ………….. VISION DRIVEN MOM WITH ADHD RESOURCES Share: #visiondrivenmompodcast Website: http://www.visiondrivenmom.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/visiondrivenmom/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/visiondrivenmomwithadhd ………….. SUBSCRIBE Apple | Google | Spotify | iHeart | Audible | Stitcher If you're enjoying the podcast, subscribe, rate and review it in iTunes. It's one of the best ways you can help new listeners find us.

Raising kids and teens who struggle with emotional regulation can be tough. Parents must navigate the complexities of societal pressures, and it can lower self-esteem and cause self-doubt. Today we talk about some essential strategies to establish a warm, connected relationship with a challenging child. We try to help find the balance between talking less, and setting clear, aspirational expectations that are crucial for both parents and kids. Our guest is Dayna Abraham, author of the newly released book “Calm the Chaos,” and we'll try to help quell your fear of the emotional rollercoaster that often accompanies raising a challenging child. Sign up for our free week-long Crash Course on Creating Neurodiversity-Affirming Schools that Emily talked about in today's show. All of the events in the course will be live and interactive, so you can talk to Emily, our expert guests, and other attendees, to share and learn how to better position your classroom to meet the needs of all learners. Also, soon we'll be launching a community for educators who are dedicated to creating a neurodiversity-affirming learning environment for students! Click here to hop on the waiting list and get more information. Finally, please take a minute to take our listener survey. It's quick and easy, and it will help us understand who is listening, so we can better choose the subjects and guests that matter to you. Dayna Abraham, bestselling author and National Board Certified Educator, is the founder of Lemon Lime Adventures, which provides resources to parents of neurodivergent kids, and helps them find peace, and meet their kids where they are. Dayna is a mother of three neurodivergent children, as well as being an ADHD adult herself, and brings an out-of-the-box perspective to parents raising kids in a modern world. Her work has been showcased in HuffPost, Scary Mommy, BuzzFeed, ADDitude Magazine, Parents Magazine and Lifehacker. She lives in Little Rock, Arkansas with her husband Jason, her kids, and two huge Newfoundland puppies. BACKGROUND READING Calm the Chaos book Dayna's podcast Facebook Instagram YouTube TikTok LinkedIn

— There are times when ADHD is impossible to miss - and there are other times when it is too easy to overlook. In children whose symptoms mimic stereotypical ones (such as hyperactivity or impulsivity), the diagnosis is often made early, while those with less obvious signs (such as emotional dysregulation or sleeplessness) may go undiagnosed into adulthood. This episode discusses the most common ADHD signs. The behavior and presentation of ADHD are often stereotyped, despite the fact that it manifests in disparate and dichotomous ways. Consequently, not-so-obvious ADHD symptoms may go ignored or misdiagnosed in broad daylight. In such a situation, the subtle, but lifelong symptoms of ADHD suddenly become unmanageable when triggered by unique and stress-inducing circumstances. Most adults don't get the help they need until then. The most common ADHD symptoms are being revealed today by Dr. Dara Abraham. Valeria interviews Dr. Dara Abraham — She is a Philadelphia-based psychiatrist on a mission to transform lives impacted by adult ADHD.  With personal experience and 15 years of expertise under her belt, she creates tailored evaluations and treatments that help individuals thrive. As a passionate advocate for ADHD awareness, Dr. Dara enlightens healthcare professionals and the general public through her thought-provoking pieces in renowned publications like Additude Magazine and Clinical Psychiatry News and informative guest appearances on mental health and wellness podcasts. She firmly believes that adult ADHD can be conquered at any age and is dedicated to spreading her empowering message to the world. To learn more about Dr. Dara Abraham and her work, please visit: drdarapsychiatry.com               — This podcast is a quest for well-being, a quest for a meaningful life through the exploration of fundamental truths, enlightening ideas, insights on physical, mental, and spiritual health. The inspiration is Love. The aspiration is to awaken new ways of thinking that can lead us to a new way of being, being well.

Brooke Schnittman, ADHD management and support expert, ADHD and executive function coach, international keynote and public speaker, author, and podcast host joins me on the latest Business Minds Coffee Chat. Brooke has been featured in numerous media outlets including Forbes, Entrepreneur, Additude Magazine, CBS, and NBC, and has received a number of prestigious awards and accolades. Topics we cover include the importance of setting boundaries, what ADHD is and is not, categories of ADHD, the diagnosis process, treatment for ADHD, supporting those with ADHD in the workplace, and more. Get connected with Brooke: Website: https://www.coachingwithbrooke.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/coachingwithbrooke/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachingwithbrooke Twitter: https://twitter.com/Coachingwbrooke Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachingwithbrooke/ Listen to Brooke's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/successfull-with-adhd/id1674069554  Leave a 5-star review with a comment on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/business-minds-coffee-chat/id1539014324  Subscribe to my Business Builder Newsletter: https://bit.ly/32y0YxJ  Want to learn how you can work with me to gain more clarity, build a rock-solid foundation for your business, and achieve the results and success you deserve? Visit http://jayscherrbusinessconsulting.com/ and schedule a 1:1 discovery coaching call. Enjoy, thanks for listening, and please share with a friend! To your success, Jay

Executive Function, Time Management, and Homework Strategies for ADHD with Leslie Josel One of the most common frustrations for parents of children with ADHD is homework and time management issues. That is why I am so excited for today's guest, because she is going to dive into the depths of this topic.  Leslie Josel is an award-winning ADHD academic and parenting coach and the founder of Order Out of Chaos, a virtual company whose mission is to help parents guide their students in learning and in life.  Leslie's own son was diagnosed with ADHD, so she understands the challenges that can come with this particular diagnosis. Leslie is the creator of the award-winning academic planner, a tool that helps students develop time management skills, and she is the award-winning author of the book, How to Do It Now Because It's Not Going Away: An Expert Guide to Getting Stuff Done. She also writes regularly  for ADDitude Magazine.  If you have a child with ADHD who struggles with executive functioning, homework, or time management, this episode of the Soaring Child podcast is full of great, actionable tips!    Key Takeaways: [3:34] Executive age and why is it so important for parents to understand [11:13] Time blindness [15:29] Leslie's number 1 tip for time blindness [16:22] Pause, Picture, and Pace [19:26] Future awareness and mapping time [25:01] Homework strategies [30:09] “Math in the bath” and “Hide the homework” [35:07] Creating an environment for homework Memorable Quotes: ”When your child is diagnosed with ADHD, they automatically have executive dysfunction. It goes hand in hand.” ”Our executive functions…are not fully developed until we are in our mid-twenties, so every student…shows up with some deficit.” ”Time blindness means you do not know where you sit in time…You might know what time it is, but knowing what time it is does not mean you understand or feel it.” “For a child or student or even an adult to truly be able to manage time, you have to be able to see it.” ”You need to make time as visible as possible. You need to externalize it everywhere your child is, so that they can internalize it.” “Your child needs to see time move.” “Put a clock - an analog - in every room that your child spends time in.” “Your kids live in two worlds. They live in the now…and then there's the not now.” “Every single thing has to line up in your child's day to make homework happen.” “If you have a child who has any kind of challenge, the amount of energy they have to put out compared to a kid who is maybe more neurotypical is like 20 times more…They are starting from a deficit.” “I get them moving. That is my secret sauce.” “Movement helps to lay down learning. Movement helps the brain not to strain. Movement helps us be less distracted.” “Every kid shows up to the table with their own homework preferences and personality.” “Most do not get the wiggle room to do things the way that works for them…Give them as much choice and control as we can.” “The start is what is the hardest, so if we can separate the task from the setup, we've actually built the bridge to get started.”   How to Connect with Leslie Josel Website: https://www.orderoochaos.com/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/order.out.of.chaos/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/orderoutofchaos  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/orderoochaos  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leslie-josel-adhd-student-parent-coach/  Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/orderoochaos/_saved/  Twitter:  https://twitter.com/orderoochaos   Dana Kay Resources: Website: https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDThriveInstitute/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/adhd-thrive-institute/mycompany/  Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/adhdthriveinstitute/  Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute    International Best Selling Book, Thriving with ADHD – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/  Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass – https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl   ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/

Join me as I sit down with Robin Finn, writer, teacher and creator of the Heart, Soul, Pen.,® writer's workshop. Robin is a mother of special needs kids and knows the challenges of parenting neurodivergent children. About Robin Finn: Robin Finn, MA, MPH, is an award-winning writer, teacher, and coach, and the founder and creator of Heart. Soul. Pen.,® a Los Angeles-based course blending writing and radical self-expression for women. Robin helps women find their voice on the page and transform their creative spark into a fiery conflagration. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times, BuzzFeed, Mamalode, Brain Child, The Huffington Post, ADDitude Magazine, the BBC podcast Sacred Objects, as well as internationally syndicated and anthologized. She is on the faculty of UCLA Extension Writer's Program where she launched and teaches the Women's Writing Workshop. Robin has master's degree in Public Health from Columbia University and in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica. In 2022, she was awarded a grant from the City of Los Angeles Department of Cultural Affairs to teach “Mothering Through the Pandemic & Beyond,” a writing workshop she designed to help L.A. mothers process their pandemic experience through writing. She lives in Los Angeles with her family where she writes about midlife, writing, and the creative process. She is a long-term advocate for children with ADHD and learning differences. Learn more at www.robinfinn.com

In this episode, Jessica Hicksted joins Eric on the podcast!  Jessica was late-diagnosed with autism and ADHD and brings together her life experiences and education to advocate for invisible disabilities.  Growing up the “awkward kid,” she faced life's rough spots head-on, creating resilience and determination.  These skills proved valuable in completing her PhD and dedicating her research into invisible disabilities to help promote positive social change.  You'll hear Eric and Jessica talk about workplace success for people with invisible disabilities, masking and executive-function drains, and ableism.  Then, you'll also hear about how Jessica got diagnosed, self-advocacy, disclosure or nondisclosure in the workplace, what Jessica uncovered in her research, and the benefits and values to businesses for being more accommodating.   Find some of her writing on ADDitude Magazine!   Questions/Topics:  [00:01:06] Introducing Jessica & meeting at CHADD  [00:02:13] Diving into Jessica's research, and, “How do we–from a systems perspective–help individuals be successful in the workplace?”  [00:05:23] Are the tides really starting to turn in the workplace about invisible disabilities?  [00:06:27] Masking in the workplace  [00:09:25] Jessica's experience of being diagnosed as an adult after becoming a parent [00:16:14] What is an invisible disability? [00:18:56] Disclosure vs. intended disclosure [00:19:42] What does the data say about disclosure?  [00:21:10] What kinds of questions did Jessica ask while doing her research?  [00:24:24] A conversation on the prevalence of ableism in the workplace  [00:27:58] Transparency and opening the door of communication  [00:33:28] Money talk: What is the benefit and value for businesses to be more inclusive and accommodating for people with invisible disabilities?  What does the data show?  [00:38:30] In Jessica's data, were there any industries that were ‘better' with acceptance in the workplace than others?  [00:42:18] What are some questions a prospective employee could ask to try and gauge if they will be entering a friendly workplace for neurodivergent brains?  [00:44:52] If there could be one big change in the workplace to help individuals with invisible disabilities, what would that change look like?   [00:45:53] Closing thoughts 

You have a plan. You have a vision of yourself and your performance. But what happens when plans change, or the world doesn't share your perspective on your own experience? When RSD sets in, your ability to manifest compassion for yourself is most important.We kick off with a review of RSD, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Need to dive in a little deeper? Look no further and Dr. William Dodson's article on the topic in ADDitude Magazine. Even better, check out our episode with him on the subject from a few years back.Once you understand RSD and how RSD can contribute to emotional storms (check out James Ochoa on Emotional Storms here), you get a better picture of the importance of taking your compassion into your own hands. When no one else is looking to care for you, what tools do you have in your bag to care properly for yourself?This week: tools you can use to cope, regroup, and recover. (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (03:12) - Support the Show on Patreon! patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (06:17) - A Review of RSD (16:20) - The RSD Connection to Self-Compassion (25:45) - Building Tools for Self-Compassion (29:36) - Finding the Single Match in a Dark Cave ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We welcome Elizabeth Hamblet, the author of Seven Steps for College Success: A Pathway for Students with Disabilities, to talk about how parents can prepare their neurodivergent kids for college. We talk about when to begin preparing, and how to develop processes and good habits. We discuss what most colleges offer (or don't offer) to neurodivergent students, and when it might be best to alter plans. The truth about post-high school accommodations might shock you. We talk about it in episode 163. This episode is brought to you by On Your Marq, a College Success program for neurodivergent students at Marquette University. Call 414-288-0203, or go to www.marquette.edu/on-your-marq. To register for a spot in our SPACE program, submit your information through this portal. For more details, and for information on our courses for educators and parents, head to the Neurodiversity University. ABOUT THE GUEST - Elizabeth Hamblet began her career as a high school special ed teacher, then transitioned to working in a college setting, helping students with time management, organization, reading and study skills. Elizabeth is also a recognized author and speaker who utilizes her 20+ years of experience to help parents find an organized path through the college preparation process, get the real truth about accommodations for students entering college, and navigating the admissions process. She's also a contributing writer for Disability Compliance for Higher Education, a journal for higher education disability professionals, and her work has also appeared in the Journal of College Admission, Teaching Exceptional Children, ADDitude Magazine, Attention, Raising Teens, and Career Development for Exceptional Individuals, and on platforms like Understood.org and ADDitudemag.com. BACKGROUND READING Elizabeth's website Elizabeth's book LD Advisory on Facebook Elizabeth on Twitter YouTube

Hello Brave Friends, do you think you fully understand ADHD and how it impacts school and everyday life? Although it is common, it is not simple, not by any means. It is extremely complex. There are many aspects to this disorder. There is no magic pill or formula that will help all kids and adults who struggle with ADHD, but there are proven methods, tips, skills, and wisdom to be applied.We have an incredible guest today for you: Leslee Josel, an ADHD-academic and parenting coach, who is an award-winning entrepreneur, having founded Order Out of Chaos – a virtual company whose mission is to help parents guide their students to success in learning and in life - when her son was first diagnosed with ADHD.She is also the creator of the award-winning Academic Planner: A Tool for Time Management®, a planner that helps students develop time management skills, and the award-winning author of 3 books including the recently published, “How to Do it Now Because it's Not Going Away: An Expert Guide to Getting Stuff Done.” (Lerner Publishing) A respected resource on ADHD and Executive Functioning, Leslie writes the weekly “Dear ADHD Family Coach®” column for ADDitude Magazine, the premiere magazine for adults and children with ADHD.  She speaks to audiences all over the world helping them utilize their resources to best navigate the task-driven world in which they live.  Last year, Leslie's line of student organizing products – a collaboration with Samsill Corp – was released.  And for the last six years, Leslie has been named by Global Gurus as one of the top 20 Time Management experts in the world.Find Leslie's website here.Brave Together is the podcast for We are Brave Together, a not-for-profit organization based in the USA. The heart of We Are Brave Together is to strengthen, encourage, inspire and validate all moms of children with disabilities and other needs in their unique journeys. JOIN the international community of We Are Brave Together here.Donate to our Retreats and Respite Scholarships here.Donate to keep this podcast going here.Can't get enough of the Brave Together Podcast?Follow our Instagram Page @wearebravetogether or on Facebook.Feel free to contact Jessica Patay via email: jpatay@wearebravetogether.orgIf you have any topic requests or if you would like to share a story, leave us a message here.Please leave a review and rating today! We thank you in advance!

If you're parent of a child with ADHD, you are familiar with the battles of will that can result. What are the best ways to help kids with ADHD succeed without either coddling them or coming down too hard on them? Are you the parent of a child with ADHD who feels like nothing you try is working? Ryan Wexelblatt, also known as the "ADHD Dude," is here to help. Ryan, a licensed clinical social worker and father to a son with ADHD, creates content for the ADHDude YouTube channel and ADDitude Magazine. Ryan also provides parent training, in-person school-year programs, and a summer camp for boys.  Ryan, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How to talk to kids with siblings who have ADHD Why behavior prompts actually don't help long-term How to use scaffolding to build important skills for kids Firm boundaries and consistency, rather than permissive parenting or special treatment, are going to help kids with ADHD more in the long-run, Ryan explains. Helping kids visualize the consequences of their actions– whether those kids have ADHD or not– is a good first step. Here's where you can find Ryan: @adhddude on YouTube @theadhddude on Instagram @adhddude.ryanwexelblatt on Facebook www.adhddude.com Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase. Author Accelerator's Book Coach Certification program provides resources to help you launch your own thriving business coaching writers. Head to bookcoaches.com/podcasts to find out more. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/FRESH today to get 10% off your first month.  Hello Fresh is America's #1 Meal Kit. Go to HelloFresh.com/wfhpod65 and use code wfhpod65 for 65% off plus free shipping! Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now. Terms and conditions apply. You can try Peloton Tread risk-free with a 30-day home trial. New members only. Not available in remote locations. See additional terms at onepeloton.com/home-trial. Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. Ritual's Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Visit ritual.com/laughing to get 10% off during your first 3 months. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys! Peter Shankman the host of Faster Than Normal here. I wanna invite you to something! I am hosting a Mastermind with 12 amazing speakers who are gonna be talking about everything from ADHD to mental health, from entrepreneurship, to just living your life better. It's gonna be on November 10th, It's gonna be virtual from anywhere in the world. Incredible, incredible speakers. The leading fitness trainer in Canada for all things. Me! A whole bunch of speakers- Scott Carney, who wrote the book which is to all about how he goes and takes ice showers every day. It's gonna be 12 amazing speakers, the CBS Early Shows' Jennifer Hartstein, really, really great people. And I'd like you to join us. Check out the link below in the show notes at ShankMinds 2022 and we will see you there. And a matter of fact, look for the discount code in the show notes as well, that'll take a hundred bucks off the cost. We'll see you soon! https://shankman.lpages.co/shankminds-virtual-2022/  DISCOUNT CODE:  SMFriends22 We're visiting again today with Aron Croft who's made some changes since our last visit on Episode 240, “The Un-Squeaky Wheel: How Inattentive ADHD Goes Under the Radar w/ Aron Croft” including developing a new way to help the community; enjoy! In his own words: Aron Croft has always been obsessed with one question: “Why can't we get ourselves to do tasks that we WANT to do”?  That question was on his mind as he dropped out of college twice, failed out of his first 7 jobs and ended up broke, divorced, and earning minimum wage at 33. After an adult diagnosis of Inattentive ADHD and an M.S. in Coaching Psychology, he decided to abandon neurotypical productivity, and his life changed. He built a successful Fortune 500 career followed by a six-figure coaching business with over 125,000 followers. In his coaching business, he teaches ADHD'ers his contrarian 8% Productivity Habit, which helps them complete their top tasks in 2 hours a day and  never feel behind again. His work has been featured by  ADDitude Magazine, the Attention Deficit Disorder Association, and dozens of top ADHD outlets. To watch a 30 minute training on the 8% Productivity Habit, visit freeadhdtraining.com.  In this episode Peter and Aron discuss:   01:20 - Thank you so much for listening and for subscribing! 01:29 - Intro and welcome back Aron Croft!! 02:40 - Tell us what you've been doing since the last time you were on the show? Ref: 8percent Productivity Habit Method 03:20 - What is living in the country like for someone with a faster brain? 04:12 - Is spending time daily in the out-of-doors helping? 05:25 - How have you grown in this environment within the last couple of years? 07:01 - On embracing ‘measured' change 08:11 - Aron explains his 8percent Productivity Habit 08:47 - “motivation, willpower, and discipline” These may only be neurotypical confines! 09:23 - There are other ways to win!! 09:53 - How do professional Boxers become so fast? 11:16 - On willpower and habits. Skateboarding can strengthen you! 14:13 - How can people find more about you? Web: hiddenADHD.com ALSO  freeadhdtraining.com Socials: @aroncroft on Twitter  @HiddenADHD on Facebook  INSTA  YouTube and hidden_adhd on TikTok 15:07 - Guys, as always thanks so much for subscribing! Do you have a cool friend with a great story? We'd love to hear. I'm www.petershankman.com and you can reach out anytime via email at peter@shankman.com or @petershankman on all of the socials. You can also find us at @FasterNormal on all of the socials. It really helps when you drop us a review on iTunes and of course, subscribe to the podcast if you haven't already! As you know, the more reviews we get, the more people we can reach. Help us to show the world that ADHD is a gift, not a curse!  15:30 - Faster Than Normal Podcast info & credits — TRANSCRIPT via Descript and then corrected.. somewhat:  Hey guys. Peter Shankman the host of Faster Than Normal here. I wanna invite you to something! I am hosting a Mastermind with 12 amazing speakers who are gonna be talking about everything from ADHD to mental health, from entrepreneurship, to just living your life better. It's gonna be on November 10th, It's gonna be virtual from anywhere in the world. Incredible, incredible speakers. The leading fitness trainer in Canada for all things. Me! A whole bunch of speakers- Scott Carney, who wrote the book which is to all about how he goes and takes ice showers every day. It's gonna be 12 amazing speakers, the CBS Early Shows' Jennifer Hartstein, really, really great people. And I'd like you to join us. Check out the link below in the show notes at ShankMinds 2022 and we will see you there. And a matter of fact, look for the discount code in the show notes as well, that'll take a hundred bucks off the cost. We'll see you soon! https://shankman.lpages.co/shankminds-virtual-2022/ —   [00:01:23] Peter: Hey everyone. Peter Shankman, another episode of Faster Than Normal. Thrilled to have you here. Welcome aboard. We gotta repeat guest today Aron Croft was here by a year or so ago, and since then he told me that after he, he heard hisself on this episode, he's had to upend his entire life and he moved to a farm. And like, I don't know, I've got 10 acres of land and a chainsaw or something. I'll let him tell you more about that. But Aron Croft has is he was a great guest last time we have him back, and he's always been obsessed with one question, which says, Why can't we get ourselves to do the tasks we wanna do? He dropped outta college twice. He failed his first seven jobs. He ended up broke divorce earning minimum wage, days 33. Then he got diagnosed and then he got an MS in coaching psychology, and he took his neurotypical productivity. His life changed. He built a Fortune 500 career, followed by a six figure coaching business. He teaches ADHD 'ers his contrarian. 8% productivity hat. We'll talk about that. He's at free ADHD training.com and welcome back Aron good to have you, man. [00:02:21] Aron: Thank you, Peter. This is, this podcast is always the most challenging one for me to be a guest on because it's like, it's so hard to be efficient and, and get everything done that you and I want to talk about in your episode. Cap.  [00:02:37] Peter: All right, so let's let you start it. Tell us about yourself. Tell us what you've been doing since the last time you had you on.  [00:02:42] Aron: Yeah, I mean, pretty much just buying 10 acres in a chainsaw. Uh, that's, that's pretty much it, that's taken up most of the last 12 months. Um, what have I been up to really, uh, formalizing, Um, my 8% productivity habit method. Which is really just about how do we get our top task done in just two hours a day. Like, we're not gonna suddenly become sort of full of motivation, willpower, and discipline. Like we've been trying that our whole lives and how do we do that so that we can just stop feeling behind? And, um, that's really what I've been focused on and working with hundreds of ADHDers and, um, now we're just, you know, expanding it out to more. [00:03:20] Peter: Very, very cool. And tell me that I wanna, I wanna talk about living in the middle of nowhere or on 10 acres or whatever. What's that like for someone with a faster brain? [00:03:28] Aron: Uh, it's so delightful because, you know, I can just, my brain is going a mile a minute all the time. It's so exhausting. I would love freedom and a break from it sometimes, but like when I go out, like we've got trails on the property and it's just, we're surrounded by just trees and nature and when I just, when I get outside, Um, it just quiets everything down, um, in nature. And so, yeah. So it's just been, it's been absolutely delightful. Um, and there's also like some mindless tasks like cutting, you know, cutting down branches with a chainsaw on the weekend. Like, I don't need to think. And it's very nice for me to not give myself like, cognitive tasks every once in a while. [00:04:10] Peter: Yep. Are you enjoying, So is there, is there, would you say you're getting more outdoor time than you used? And and is that helping? [00:04:20] Aron: I, you know, honestly I'd say that I'm getting about, I'm getting a little bit more outdoor time, Not a ton more, but the outdoor time absolutely helps. Like I, I mean, part of the reason we made the move is cause I was living in downtown Chicago and all I would do to leave the apartment was just go and walk in nature. And there was this cool nature path near us. So I'd say that I'm, I'm only getting a little more time in nature, but the other thing I really like is, um, space. Uh, so like you can't see it cuz it's off camera, but like, I literally commandeered the entire big, like what room would be a family room in our basement. I put up a 16 foot long whiteboard of just wallpaper, that's whiteboard wallpaper. Um, I mean, I've got like a studio set up with camera and lights and a nice microphone, and I've just got my shit everywhere. Like on the pasted it on the walls, the post it notes galore! I just love the ability to spread out and try to untangle this like super messy brain. [00:05:21] Peter: Very cool. And what would you tell people that you've learned? How have you grown in the past couple years? [00:05:27] Aron: I'd say, I'd say two things. So, um, one is just this idea of like, stop, like, like I, I, I've given up trying to be neurotypical. Um, and you know, that might sound obvious, but I work with a lot of ADHDers and they're still trying to be like what their parents and their peers and their teachers told them to be. And so one is just the freedom to give that up, um, and all the like self-compassion and acceptance that comes with it. And then on the flip side of that, right, and you know this in business, right? Is once I gave that up, um, And I was like, You know what? I'm not gonna be like, So you and I are a little bit different. Like I, I just have the inattentive ADHD symptoms. I wish I had some of the hyperactivity energy stuff, but like, like, I'm like a delicate flower. I burn out after like a few hours of like, I. Of like thinking work. And so I was like, Okay, instead of just saying that, that's like a weakness. How can I just build a productivity system around, around that? And um, so just doing those things and kind of embracing my limitations, quote unquote, has like, turned me into way more powerful than I've ever been.  [00:06:43] Peter: It sounds like it might have. Um, It's interesting. I, I know a lot of people with adhd, they, they change is difficult; , Right? They get into a routine, they get into a habit, and then change becomes sort of a, a, a fear, right? You embrace it.  [00:07:01] Aron: Um, I embrace, I embrace measured change. Okay. Um, because Right. It's, that's important. That's an important distinction. It is. Right. But like, but it, it's like so many things we don't realize that we're actually trying to. For two variables. And we're really looking for balance, right? We want, we want no change, but we also want lots of novelty and variety, right? And so we're, we're kind of, we kind of need to find that right balance. You know, I find so many people with their, uh, Productivity. They're like, I wanna get all my top tasks done. But I also don't wanna be forced into like Right. Having to do it. And I wanna like feel like doing them. Like I don't want it to be painful. And it's sort of like, okay, like if we can make explicit those like trade offs that we're trying to make, we can find a solution. That's the, that sounded theoretical. I feel like I'm just dabbling. Sorry, Peter.  [00:07:53] Peter: No, no, it makes sense. So with that, tell me about the, uh, the 8% productivity habit.  [00:07:58] Aron: Yeah, I know cuz clearly I'm obsessed with it. But , uh, I'm excited to have somebody to talk to about it that isn't my wife. Well, she's excited that I have someone you know today to talk to about it. Um, yeah, I mean, so it was really just, This concept. So the 8% is simply that like 8% of a 24 hour day is two hours. And I was like, All right. If I could just build a productivity habit, that meant that I could get away basically with just doing hard tasks for two hours a day, and then the rest of the day I can kind of just slack off and like wing it. Um, like if I could build something that would be effective, man, that would just give me so much freedom. And, um, so I tried to build it, and then the first phase of it is abandon neurotypical productivity. So all of us have been raised on this like diet of motivation, willpower, and discipline. And like you, Whoever wins is the one who wants it the most. And that's fine if your motivation pathways and willpower pathways work, you know, neurotypically. But for us, or at least for the inattentive, ADHD symptoms that I tend to work with with my students, um, it doesn't translate to action. And so we're left with, we're left with this really unfair conundrum. We either don't take action. Or we have a secret sauce, which helps us take action, which is we just flood ourselves with adrenaline, stress and anxiety, and suddenly we can do a bunch of hard tasks. Right? But it's like so mentally and physically and emotionally training, [00:09:33] Peter: I believe that. It's interesting because it puts us back into that premise of imposters, right? If we're trying to do things in sort of like that one way that's supposed to be done right? You know, like what you said about, about going out and, and, and you know, the person who wins, the person wants the most, there are other ways to win .  [00:09:55] Aron: Amen. My brother. Thank you.  [00:09:56] Peter: You know, I, I, I find that, Well, even this morning I was, I was in a boxing class and I was training. It was one trainer who was training two of us, and we'd each do drills, uh, alternate on drills. And I was watching him, you know, so like 30 seconds on, 30 seconds off. And on my 30 seconds off, I'm supposed to be shadow boxing. And of course I wound up watching this guy. This guy is about. 10 years more experienced boxing than I do. And his punches were so fast, like, so fast, and, and it was like a blur. And I'm just staring at him. And of course the trainer's like, Yo, you wanna actually do something or you wanna just watch? I'm like, Okay, yeah, sorry, but I need to figure out how he got that fast. And he goes, he's trained, He's constantly repeating the motion and doing it over and over again and building those muscles and growing and. You know, so I, I hear what you're saying. It's, it's in that, in that regard. I'm sure he does want it, but I'm sure he is also lost a ton of fights. He doesn't want it the most, he's just doing it every day because it's something that makes him happy and excites him, and he is also getting better at it by default. [00:10:55] Aron: I love, I love that you said that because, um, so like, because I. And just, I'm, I'm just like on like, honestly, like, I'm literally like the most like unproductive person at my core. Um, and I just have like almost no motivational, willpower discipline. So the work around though is kind of, is what you were saying though, that I discovered. It was like, if I just build something in a habit, then it kind of happens without really any motivational will power discipline. Right. And so, It's been this like side door to like sneak into like productivity, uh, without kind of the traditional things is it sounds like you've got some, uh, interest in habits as well. [00:11:42] Peter: Well, I've always found that, you know, I always, because for ADHD I would always gravitate back in school. I always gravitated toward the things I doing because I enjoyed doing them and I. Specifically, One time I got off, I, I was up, I would always ride my bike, and then one time, one year I get into skateboarding, right? And I, I would skateboard, skateboard, skateboard for like a year and a half, two years, everywhere. I went to skateboard. Skateboard. And then one day case got back on my bike. And I was shocked at how much stronger my legs were. It wasn't that I'd been working out my legs, it's that I'd been skateboarding, I was working out my legs, but it didn't occur to me as that, Right. The things that you love to do are the things you naturally get better at because you're doing 'em so much because you love them. The the downside for ADHD is sometimes you have to do things you don't love and you still have to do them.  [00:12:27] Aron: Well, and so the, the upside, so I agree with you and the upside is, um, so look, I believe, and, and again, all with the caveat that a lot of the things I'm talking about are limited to people that have the inattentive symptoms or combined adhd, Right? Um, but. You know, the cool part is that I believe so many people, and this is entrepreneurs, this is working professionals I've talked to, like, we're looking for something that would have like the biggest bang for our buck. Um, kind of like on the entrepreneur where they're like, I don't want to just trade dollars for hours. Like, Right, or hours for dollars. Like, I want something that's scalable and like, I want, I want like leverage effectively is what? You know, working professionals and stuff are saying. And um, the cool part is that I found is. A lot of productivity stuff focuses on like overhauling your life, right? Like you're gonna write down all your to-do lists and write down goals in every area, and then you're gonna time box your schedule and you know you're gonna do all these things. You're gonna make this color coded thing. And the reality is that there's a lead domino in there, which is if you just push this one piece, all these other productivity things fit, which is the piece that you just mentioned, which is. We don't suck at all productivity. We're great at like fire alarm tasks. Exactly. We're even decent at like busy tasks. And the reason we're decent at them is because the area that we suck and that if we improve is the lead domino that knocks all the other dominoes down is in doing tough tasks. And if we can get, build a habit of doing tough tasks every day, suddenly they don't feel tough and our comfort zone expands.  [00:14:13] Peter: Yep, a hundred percent. Tell us how we could find you.  [00:14:17] Aron: Well, you could just drive out to Michigan and look for a house.  [00:14:22] Peter: Quit being a smart ass Aron, how can we find you? .  [14:13 - How can people find more about you? Web: hiddenADHD.com ALSO  freeadhdtraining.com Socials: @aroncroft on Twitter  @HiddenADHD on Facebook  INSTA  YouTube and hidden_adhd on TikTok ] [00:14:24] Aron: All right. Alright. Um, I would say, I would say just go to free adhd training.com. I literally was like, How could I come up with the easiest to remember URL in the history of URLs? Not that help a reporter out.com isn't also memorable . But anyway, free adhd training.com and uh, I go into like a full training. It's free on the 8% productivity habit, what it is, how you can do it, um, and really break it all down with like pretty graphics and all the, my pretty bald head and all these fun things. [00:14:57] Peter: Always love having you, Aron bald head and all. It was a pleasure. Enjoy your home, enjoy your 10 acres and your, your chainsaw. We'll have you back again.  [00:15:06] Aron: All right, brother. Appreciate it! [00:15:07] Peter: Guys, as always, we wanna know what you're hearing and we wanna know what you're seeing. If you have a guest that you think might be great, shoot us a note. Peter@shankman.com. Let us know, Tweet us, post us, Facebook us, whatever. If you like what you heard, leave us review. Thanks to Steven Byrom @stevenbyrom our awesome producer. We'll back next week, another episode. Stay healthy, stay strait on keep going on the path that is yours, and yours alone, and we'll talk to you. Bye  Credits: You've been listening to the Faster Than Normal podcast. We're available on iTunes, Stitcher and Google play and of course at www.FasterThanNormal.com I'm your host, Peter Shankman and you can find me at shankman.com and @petershankman on all of the socials. If you like what you've heard, why not head over to your favorite podcast platform of choice and leave us a review, come more people who leave positive reviews, the more the podcast has shown, and the more people we can help understand that ADHD is a gift, not a curse. Opening and closing themes were composed and produced by Steven Byrom who also produces this podcast, and the opening introduction was recorded by Bernie Wagenblast. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week!

This is the third installment in a series of solocasts specifically about homeschooling 2e children. I know many families of 2e and differently wired kids end up going down the homeschooling road, whether they're reluctant homeschoolers and they felt “forced” into the decision because they ran out of other options or whether they knew they would homeschool from the moment their child was born. Whatever the case, this episode is for you.In this episode, I share how Asher and I structure our school, what kind of classes he takes, how I figure out what he's going to focus on, and what a typical school day looks like for us. I wanted to talk about these things because I know that designing a curriculum can be one of the most overwhelming pieces of this puzzle.A quick note: If you haven't already done so, I encourage you to listen to the two other solocast episodes I've done on homeschooling 2e children. In Episode 42 I talk about how I made the decision to homeschool even though I had a LOT of resistance to the idea, and in Episode 48, I talk about the actual transition to homeschooling … basically how we survived that first rocky year. Debbie Reber, MA, is a parenting activist, bestselling author, podcast host, and speaker who moved her career in a more personal direction in 2016 when she founded Tilt Parenting, a top resource for parents like her who are raising differently wired children. The TiLT Parenting Podcast has grown to be a top podcast in Kids & Family, with more than 4 million downloads and a slate of guests that includes high-profile thought leaders across the parenting and education space. A certified Positive Discipline trainer and a regular contributor to Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine, Debbie's newest book is Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World. In November 2018, she spoke at TEDxAmsterdam, delivering a talk entitled Why the Future Will Be Differently Wired. In the summer of 2020, she co-created the Parenting in Place Masterclass series.     Things you'll learn from this episodeHow Debbie has worked with curriculum advisors in designing the game plan for Asher's classesThe big role developing executive functioning skills plays in Asher's curriculumWhy Debbie believes freedom and flexibility is one of the biggest benefits of homeschoolingHow Debbie has incorporated outside curriculums into her school approachHow Debbie supplements formal curriculum with videos, books, and experiential learningDebbie's favorite resources for teaching, subject by subjectWhat a typical school day looks like for Debbie and AsherWhy Debbie believes it's critical that Asher participate in the actual design of their schedule and curriculum Resources mentioned for homeschooling 2e childrenKathi Kearney (curriculum advisor classes)Kristi Helgeson (curriculum advisor)Gifted Homeschooler's ForumAthena's Advanced AcademyYoga with Adrienne (YouTube channel)Life of FredSupport the show