Podcasts about Alexandra Katehakis

World-renowned sex therapist and author Dr. Alexandra Katehakis joins the WiseNuts for a raw, real, and eye-opening conversation about the silent struggles behind sex addiction, the misunderstood nature of intimacy disorders, and the path to true emotional healing.In this powerful episode, Dr. Katehakis breaks down how trauma shapes our sexual behavior, what it really means to connect intimately, and how to heal destructive patterns that sabotage relationships. Whether you've struggled with love, lust, or loneliness—this one's for you.

How can we navigate the complexities of modern sexuality? How can couples talk about sex in their relationships without shame or embarrassment? What has been the impact on modern sex due to digital pornography?  In this podcast episode in the Better Mental Wellness Series, Joe Sanok speaks about healthy sexuality with Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D.  Meet […] The post Better Mental Wellness Series: Healthy Sexuality with Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D | POP 1181 appeared first on How to Start, Grow, and Scale a Private Practice | Practice of the Practice.

Pop icon SIA and psychotherapist, Dr. Alexandra Katehakis discuss attachment theory, infant brain development and sex addiction.

Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D., LMFT is Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles, faculty for the International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals, and the recipient of the 2018 WAAT Smart Award, the IITAP Leadership, and the 2012 SASH Carnes Award. She is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist/Supervisor and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist/Supervisor specializing in the treatment of sexual addiction and other sexual disorders. Dr. Katehakis is the author of What Turns You On? A Guide to Living Your Best Sex Life (2022), Sexual Reflections: A Workbook for Designing and Celebrating Your Sexual Health Plan (2018), Sex Addiction As Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment (2016), co-author of the 2015 AASECT award winning Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence (2014), contributing author to the Clark Vincent award winning Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts, in M. Feree (Ed.) (2012), and author of Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot Healthy Sex After Recovery From Sex Addiction (2010).    Center for Healthy Sex ------ Instagram Facebook LinkedIn

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Understanding our sexuality, and our partner's, may feel like a confusing and daunting task. Our sexuality is often influenced by cultural programming, issues of shame and any number of other factors. Listen to today's show to better understand your sexuality, what you desire and the tools to communicate these things with your partner. In this episode with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis we discuss relationship advice topics that include: What to do if you're confused about what turns you on Deconstructing the messages you may have around sexuality Tools to work through shame around sexuality What do do if you feel insecure about your partner's sexual history How to communicate with your partner about sexuality  Play as an important component of your sexuality And much more! Sponsors BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. Start living a happier life today and get 10% off your first month by visiting BetterHelp.com/IDO. BetterSleep knows when you sleep better, you feel better, so they've given you endless options of sounds and guided content curated just for you. Relationship Advice is sponsored by BetterSleep. Download BetterSleep from your App Store or Google Play. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join SFS host, Matt Whyte and SFS social media manager, Bailey Constas for a curated peak at some of Season Two's Best Moments! Featuring SIA with psychotherapist, Dr. Alexandra Katehakis, Lamb of God's Randy Blythe with social psychologist, Dr. Tony Lemieux, Jose González with epidemiologist, Dr. Mike Osterholm, Blondie's Debbie Harry and Chris Stein with climatologist, Dr. Michael Mann, and Majid Jordan with aquanaut, Fabien Cousteau.

Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D. is the Founder/Clinical Director of Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles.  This is a can't miss episode where Dr. Katehakis teaches us the origins of sex addiction, screening and co-occurring disorders and treatment options. Hosted by Darlene Petersen, MD and Paula Cook, MD.  Dr. Katehakis is the author of several books including Sex Addiction As Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment, the multiple award-winning Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence, Sexual Reflections, and Erotic Intelligence. You can find Dr. Katehakis at:  http://www.centerforhealthysex.com/ Instagram: @alexkatehakis  Twitter: @alexkatehakis Facebook: Alex Katehakis https://www.facebook.com/katehakis/   Check us out on facebook @Theaddictionfiles or twitter @THEADDICTIONFI1 or Instagram  Theaddictionfiles No explicit language but this podcast discusses the abuse and treatment of legal and illegal drugs and may not be appropriate for all listeners.

Clinical Director and founder of the Center for Healthy Sex Alexandra Katehakis joins Dr. Jaffe and Sophie Jaffe to explore the sexual energy everyone carries from their past experiences and how it translates into their relationships. Mentioned in the episode: Visit Alexandra Katehakis' website to learn more about healthy sex Check Out Alexandra's IG: @alexkatehakis www.igntd.com Hero Program Free Trial Find your Drinking Score Free 7-Day Sober Experiment Upcoming Events

Pop icon SIA and psychotherapist, Dr. Alexandra Katehakis discuss attachment theory, infant brain development and sex addiction.

Dr. Alexandra Katehakis, world renowned Sex Addiction Therapist and Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles shares a wealth of information today. What is Sex Addiction? Is it real, or just an excuse for bad behavior? She believes that compulsive sexual behavior is a way of masking very deep pain and extreme emotion dysregulation that typically originates in childhood. Dr. Katehakis explains that most sex addicts suffer from an early Attachment Disorder. Case presentations are discussed to highlight the complicated sexual arousal template that develops in the face of early childhood trauma and how shame, humiliation and fear are all fused with sympathetic arousal. The resulting compulsive sexual behavior is sometimes an attempt at self-soothing and sometimes a manifestation of trauma repetition-compulsion. “Shame is both the cause and effect of the Sex Addiction itself.” Dr. Katehakis discusses her most significant contribution to the field…long term psychotherapy for long term change and making the Carnes model a sex positive one. Her ultimate goal for her clients is a healthy sex life and healthy intimate connections. We underline the importance of group therapy as a vehicle to develop a capacity for intimate connecting with others and shame reduction. Other topics of conversation are the difference between sex and love addiction, the impact of sex addiction on the partner, the effect of the hundred billion dollar porn industry on our children and on the sexual functioning of young men, and what kind of conversations parents should consider having with their children about sex and pornography.

Dr. Alexandra Katehakis is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Founder of Center for Healthy Sex and she joins me to discuss the topic of healing from love addiction. While love addiction may not be something affecting your life where you need to seek treatment, it could be something to look at in terms of some unhealthy coping mechanisms affecting your life. We discuss what love addiction is, the root cause (which stems from father abandonment), and what the steps to healing look like. Dr. Alex offers amazing insight and advice about what it means to be a love addict and how to step into recovery. I hope this episode is helpful to you, in some way.  In this episode you’ll hear:  What is love addiction? And how it differs between men and women. (5:59) Women struggle with a concept called ‘mother hunger’ and therefore it is crucial for women to find support from other women in order to heal from sex or love addiction. (12:33) The root cause of love addiction. (14:45) There comes a point when we realize we are hurting ourselves, plus why going into the pain (withdrawal) is how we can heal. (18:22) What sobriety looks like for love addicts and some of the first steps someone can take to heal. (22:03) How to assert healthy boundaries for more equal relationships. (35:11) http://yourkickasslife.com/356  

When it comes to sex, how smart are you? Do you know what it takes to create a good sex life? If you would like to become more erotically intelligent, this episode is for you and my guest has the answers. Dr. Alexandra Katehakis (www.alexkatehakis.com) is a certified sex therapist who serves as the Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles. She is the author of Erotic Intelligence and many other books on sexuality both for professionals and the general public. In this episode, Alex shares concrete and practical information that can help people improve their sex lives. I am confident you will glean lots of new and useful information in this user-friendly and informative interview!

Today’s podcast features Dr. Alexandra Katehakis who takes a closer look at healthy sex.  As the Clinical Director for the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles, she treats clients identifying with problematic sexual behaviors and also helps them develop honest conversations with a focus on such topics as sexual pleasure, monogamy and sexual fluidity.  Dr. Katehakis can be reached at www.centerforhealthysex.com or alex@centerforhealthysex.com.

Dr. Alexandra Katehakis joins August to explore the ABCs of consent, boundary-setting for stronger intimacy, what to do when betrayal feels like assault, discussing vulnerable sex topics, sex addiction / compulsivities and more! With Dr. Megan Fleming’s help, they weigh in for a listener who says sex with his wife feels like she’s doing him a favor.    Follow @GirlBonerMedia on Instagram! Video extras, coming soon. https://beducated.com/all-access/ FREE trial!  https://centerforhealthysex.com https://greatlifegreatsex.com/sensual   https://girlboner.org  

When looking at sexual betrayal, many people in our society simplify it down to the fact that the betrayer is bad, wrong, and should be cut off. This leaves out the opportunity of a much more complex way of viewing these situations. To think about this with a more open mind is not to say that there is no accountability on the part of the betrayer, but to hold them accountable while at the same time bringing understanding to them as a person. In this conversation with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis we talk all about healthy sex, sex addiction, love addiction, and how to work with couples facing these issues.  Alexandra Katehakis, PhD is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles and the author of several books which I will list below with links. She is an LMFT and clinical supervisor at the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists and a clinical supervisor and member of the teaching faculty for the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), a national certifying body for sex addiction therapists. She is a prominent writer and expert panelist at sexuality conferences and public events. Check out Alex's website at centerforhealthysex.com Books:  Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment co-author of the award-winning daily meditation book, Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence and contributing author of the award-winning clinical textbook Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts and her brand new workbook: Sexual Reflections: A Workbook for Designing and Celebrating Your Sexual Health Plan The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Get your free course called Working with Couples 101 Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group Today's Sponsor The Couples Therapist Inner Circle This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.  

The new year has just begun! And for some of us, this transition from 2019 to 2020 has been a great time for reflection, joy, and celebration of everything we’ve achieved over the past year. But for others, this time can serve as a glaring reminder of how bad they feel their life is going.   But the truth is: I know you’re close to creating the change you’ve always wanted in life. And I also know that it doesn’t have to do with these New Year resolutions everyone is setting. The only thing you really, truly need is a deep internal belief and a commitment to knowing that you have what it takes to get to the life you want. So, here are some of the lessons I’ve learned from my years’ past to help you achieve the life you want… and hopefully, make 2020 your best year yet!   IGNTD Specials: IGNTD.com (Sign up for our email list to receive exclusive content and exercises!) IGNTD Recovery (Register and join the free workshop!) TheAbstinenceMyth.com (Pay for shipping and I will send you the book for free!)   Topics Discussed: [:42] About today’s episode. [3:42] The shift that begins to take place once you decide to give your best in all aspects of your life. [4:20] How to let the haters and naysayers fuel you instead of holding you back! [5:30] Here’s how to ascend past the doubts of others and become free to live the life you deserve and become the best you can be. [7:20] Here’s an incredibly valuable exercise to get you started on your journey: the hero modeling exercise. [13:03] The big takeaway from this episode that you need to remember! [13:58] If this episode has helped you, screenshot this podcast, tag me, and let me know which lesson resonated the most with you!   Mentioned in this Episode: Warren Buffett IGNTD Ep: “Expanding Your Erotic Intelligence with Alexandra Katehakis”   Find out more about IGNTD: IGNTD.com IGNTD.libsyn.com   Subscribe to the Podcast iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, Spotify Reach Out to Me! @DrAdiJaffe on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook —  or email me at Info@IGNTD.com

We have a very special guest for you all today who is absolutely perfect for this month’s theme of sex and intimacy. Some of the work she has done is actually intertwined with our own story and we might not even be where we are today without her!   Alexandra Katehakis is the Clinical Director and founder of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles, California. This center is actually where I went to do my therapy initially when we first started really dealing with my sex addiction head-on in our relationship. At her center, Alexandra and her staff successfully treat a full spectrum of sexual disorders, ranging from issues of sexual desire and dysfunction to the treatment of sexual addiction. She is also the author of Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction and the co-author of Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts, as well as Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence.   Sex addiction is such a taboo area of addiction — a lot of people don’t want to talk about it out in the open which makes it hard for people to get help. In this episode, we really focus on the ideas of sex addiction, the importance of vulnerability and radical transparency when it comes to healing and learning to trust again, how to reach the next level of intimacy with your partner, how to expand your erotic intelligence, and how Alexandra helps her clients work through some of their problems related to sex addiction, trauma, and early sexual programming.   IGNTD Specials: Perfect Bar — Use code IGNTD for 15% off!   Topics Discussed: [:35] A bit about today’s episode! [:52] Reading our review of the week. [1:40] Remember, if you leave a review and we read it on air, we’ll be sending you a special care package! [2:02] We’re coming up on one million downloads! We would love it if you could share this podcast with someone you know so we, as a community, can hit one million before 2020! [3:55] Reading our quote of the day on the theme of vulnerability from our guest’s book, Mirror of Intimacy. [4:16] About our guest, Alexandra Katehakis. [4:30] The importance of vulnerability and radical transparency when it comes to healing and learning to trust again. [7:04] What is EMDR? [8:53] An update on what we’re continuing to work on in our relationship. [12:40] Speaking about how we were first introduced to our guest today, Alexandra. [14:08] If we can reach one million downloads before 2020, ALL reviews will be sent a special package from us! [17:35] The conversation portion of today’s podcast and welcoming Alexandra to the podcast! [19:41] Alexandra speaks about how she first got into doing this kind of work. [21:44] Misconceptions and misunderstandings around those who struggle with sex addictions. [26:11] What exploring our sexuality has looked like in our relationship. [31:06] Where we are, now a decade later. [32:40] Alexandra asks Sophie: “Was there any part of Adi’s stories about acting out [during his sex addiction phrase] that turned you on?” [34:09] How we get programmed early on with our ideas around sexuality and what turns us on. [39:16] How does Alexandra help people understand what turns them on (especially when there’s a lot of shame associated around it for them)? [43:24] The importance of PLAY! [45:00] Why safety is so incredibly crucial for sex. [45:56] What the ‘discovery stage’ of cheating looks like at Alexandra’s center. [48:50] Building intimacy after relationship trauma. [51:56] Why it is harder to recover from the lies rather than the cheating itself. [53:11] How we worked through our cheating. [1:00:28] What is the best advice Alexandra has ever received? [1:01:41] What has been Alexandra’s proudest moment to-date? [1:02:41] What has been one of Alexandra’s hardest moments to-date? [1:03:51] What are some of Alexandra’s self-care habits? [1:04:30] What ignites Alexandra? [1:05:26] Thanking Alexandra for joining us for this episode! [1:05:48] Be sure to let us know if you’d be interested in hearing a session with us and Alexandra!   Mentioned in this Episode: The Abstinence Myth, by Adi Jaffe Philosophie Superfoods Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts, by Alexandra Katehakis, Kelly McDaniel, Marnie C. Ferree, and M. Deborah Corley Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction, by Alexandra Katehakis Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence, by Alexandra Katehakis and Tom Bliss Alex KatehakisCenter for Healthy Sex EMDR Perfect Bar Perfect Bar Cups Perfect Bar Chocolate Mint Bar The Alexandra Katehakis Podcast   Find out more about IGNTD: IGNTD.com IGNTD.libysn.com   Subscribe to the Podcast iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, Spotify   Follow us on Social Media! Facebook: IGNTD Instagram: @IGNTD.me Sophie’s Instagram: @Sophie.Jaffe Adi’s Instagram: @DrAdiJaffe   If you enjoyed this podcast… Please let us know what you want to hear about! Tell us in the comments or send us an email at info@igntd.com.   About Our Sponsors: Perfect Bar As the Original Refrigerated Protein Bar, Perfect Bar serves whole food protein bars made with organic nut butter, honey, clean ingredients, and family love. Check out this amazing clean protein bar here: PerfectBar.com — and use code IGNTD for 15% off!   Philosophie Superfoods The Philosophie offers cleanses and other nutritional products that are unlike any of the other supplements and detoxification programs on the market. Why? Because they actually nourish the body with whole, live, nutrient-rich foods. Each of the Philosophie superfoods and protein blends is vegan, raw, gluten-free, and has absolutely no filler ingredients.

Dr. Alexandra Katehakis is a pioneer in the area of sex addiction, and healthy sexual behavior.  In this episode, we talk about what sex addiction is, where it stems from, how to treat it, and how to know if you need help.  It’s a provocative conversation on one of the most stigmatized addictions we face. Dr. Katehakis is a Marriage Family Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist/Supervisor and Certified Sex Therapist/Supervisor, and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles. Dr. Katehakis has extensive experience in working with a full spectrum of sexuality; from sexual addiction to sex therapy, as well as and problems of sexual desire and sexual dysfunction for individuals and couples. She has successfully facilitated the recovery of many sexually addicted individuals and assisted couples in revitalizing their sex lives. She has written numerous books on the topics of sex addiction, erotic intelligence, the neurobiology of sex addiction, intimacy, and other topics related to this space.  You can connect with Dr. Katehakis and learn more about her work here: Twitter, Center for Healthy Sex, Her Books on Amazon, Her Books on Her Website SOME OF THE THINGS WE TALKED ABOUT: We spent some time in our conversation talking about what exactly addiction is more broadly.  Dr. Katehakis explains that addiction generally is a strong predilection for something.  It doesn’t really matter what that thing is.  We discuss the “history” of sex addiction including when people started talking about sex as an addiction, the early research as well as current research and how society views the topic of sex addiction. Dr. Katehakis talks about some of her work with Dr. Patrick Carnes on the topic of sex addiction as well as some of the discoveries he has pioneered since he began studying the topic in the 1980s. Dr. Katehakis explains that shame is the driving force behind a lot of our unhealthy sexual practices including sex addiction.  She says that, “Shame is built into the autonomic nervous system. It’s in the gut.  It’s in the enteric nervous system.” And that “Human beings are biologically coded for shame.”  Shame is a pro-social function that drives a lot of how we develop as humans. We discussed what a sex addict is, when they become one and how to know if someone needs help.  Some of the criteria she mentioned for judging whether you may need to seek help include: Spending more time than you intended on a sexual behavior Privileging sexual behavior over other obligations Continuing behavior despite negative consequences Preoccupation with sex There are assessments people can take, one of which is located on her website here:  https://centerforhealthysex.com/sex-therapy-resources/sex-addiction-test/ There is a section on her website dedicated to figure out if someone is a sex addict or not and you can find that content here: http://centerforhealthysex.com/sex-addiction/ We talked about the history of sex addiction treatment and the work of Dr. Patrick Carnes.  His model is one of abstinence, not forever, but for a period of time so you can get a read on what’s happening with your mood when you take that break from whatever you are addicted to.  This helps you figure out what is driving “this thing” that may be addiction (could be a mood disorder, or something else).  Sometimes someone has a mood disorder, then they get on medication, and their extreme sexual behavior becomes less common.  We talked about what recovery from sex addiction looks like.  Dr. Katehakis explained that not all sex addicts are alike.   She explains how in her workbook called, “Sexual Reflections,” people can create a sexual health plan as part of a recovery process.  She explained that anything can go on that plan as long as you don’t feel shame about it, and it is not secretive. We talked about how men are in an identity crisis of sorts today.  Men are socialized from an early age to be in competition with each other, to measure everything and this translates into unhealthy behaviors early in life as well as later in life.    We also discussed how in the recovery community, you see the opposite, where people are helpful to one another and it radically changes how we get along both as individuals and collectively with society. How do you recover from sex addiction?  We talked about 12-step recovery programs, websites, resources, etc.  Some of those resources are listed here for both porn and sex addiction: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ https://saa-recovery.org/ https://centerforhealthysex.com/ Dr. Katehakis explains that, “People change their attachment styles when they attend 12-step meetings over time.  She goes on to explain that attachment issues have to do with “regulation” of the nervous system.  In a 12-step program you start to realize you can get your needs met from other people (as opposed to only getting them met from yourself, through destructive behavior).  During this process, another human is helping to regulate your nervous system.  Sex addicts have been doing this through unhealthy sexual behavior.  Eventually, you start to learn to trust other people, and then your nervous system starts to seek other people when it needs help rather than engage in unhealthy sexual behavior. Connect with the Stigma Podcast in the following ways: Website, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Email Connect with host Stephen Hays here: Stephen Hays Personal Website, Twitter, LinkedIn,  What If Ventures (Mental Health Venture Fund)

In todays episode we have Alexandra Katehakis on our show. She is the Clinical Director of Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles and the author of Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction,[ Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment and co-author of the award-winning daily meditation book, Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence and contributing author of the award-winning clinical text Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts.She is also the author of Sexual Reflections: A Workbook for Designing and Celebrating Your Sexual Health Plan. Katehakis is a clinical supervisor at American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and clinical supervisor and member of the teaching faculty for the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP) a national certifying body for sex addiction therapists. She is a regular contributor to Psychology Today and The Huffington Post,[6] as well as a prominent expert panelist at sexuality conferences and public events. Today’s show is brought to you by Audible. Audible is offering our listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Just go to http://www.audibletrial.com/NogginNotes and browse the unmatched selection of audio programs – download a title free and start listening. It’s that easy. Go to http://www.audibletrial.com/NogginNotes Hope you enjoy the podcast and please go ahead subscribe and give us a review of our show. You can write a review on iTunes. 

A porn addict is looking for connection, warmth, and comfort but they're scared of being vulnerable and rejected by someone in real life. So, the brain has found a synthetic version of the connection they're craving. There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel intimacy but we have been conditioned to be less relational as far as eye-to-eye, person-to-person contact.  - Greg Woodhill What exactly are the detrimental effects of porn and sex addiction to both the brain and heart?   ---> Join the Wellness Warrior VIP Club: get exclusive discounts on new wellness tools, be first in line for new podcasts, get access to invite-only events, and so much more.** ---> Get The Morning 21: A powerful (and free) system designed to give you more energy, let go of old weight, and live life well. JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP | *REVIEW*   Wellness Force Radio Episode 288 Licensed psychotherapist in the fields of family and marriage as well as sex and porn addiction plus the host of the A Brave New Man Podcast, Greg Woodhill, LMFT, CSAT, shares why inner conflict is driving our addictions, why all porn addicts really just want connection, and how porn trains the mind to be less understanding and passionate compared to what we can learn from a real-life relationship. Listen and find out why people often gravitate towards porn when they're trying to work through unresolved issues from the past.   A Brave New Man Podcast Click here to listen to A Brave New Man Podcast Do you want to be a better man or have a better relationship with your man? Then follow along with Greg Woodhill as he interviews experts and non-experts on masculinity, love and connection. Topics range from cheating & infidelity, to the Me Too movement, porn addiction and happy relationships.     Listen To Episode 288 As Greg Woodhill Uncovers: The honor he feels when he is the first person people go to for help with their sex addiction. Various categories of sex addiction and why addiction isn't always intercourse for some people but porn instead. Signs to be aware of that an unwanted behavior is actually an addiction. The fact that in 2017, 46% of 11-13-year-olds had already seen porn. Easy access that people have to porn through the internet compared to decades ago when this online world didn't exist. Why it's so difficult to regulate the amount of porn that is available to us especially online. Why so many people are attached to porn because it's an inanimate object that won't judge them like an actual person in real life. Facts that the vast amount of pornography is made, produced or created by men for men while the women are experts at selling it by allowing themselves to be humiliated, dominated, and hurt. What Porn Addicts Are Actually Craving how porn can build up a person's shame, negative thoughts, and eroticized rage. The term, 'pornosexual,' for those who prefer to be with pornography than be with another person. Our natural desire and need to procreate and how porn takes that natural drive and funnels it to a place that's solo, secretive, and far less scary than being rejected by another person. How smartphones have increased the impact on our lethargy, anxiety, sleep, focus, and our need for distraction. What porn addicts are actually craving for including warmth, connection, and acceptance The synthetic condition of porn and how it mirrors want addicts desire the most. You don't need permission to open up to share your thoughts and emotions with other people. How he helps men understand and realize that it's okay to let someone know when they've hurt your feelings or what emotions you're experiencing. Chaos vs. Order - Why the chaos of addiction can actually be a means for showing us order and love for those who are ready to get real with their emotions. Diagnostic criteria for porn addiction to help you discover whether are living with it or not.   Power Quotes From The Show   Fear Of Rejection And Judgement "Porn doesn't judge you and thus the attachment to the sexual experience is one in which the person is completely in control; it's a one-person system. So, if you bring that person to a room where there is another living, breathing human being who has feelings, needs, and preferences, it's like a record scratch." - Greg Woodhill     What Is A 'Pornosexual'? "A pornosexual is not a sexual orientation but someone who would rather be with pornography than a man, woman, both, or neither. Pornography has become their first choice because that is what they're attracted to. It doesn't mean that all of a sudden they're not attracted to real people but it means that when someone sees a person they're attracted to, they have the need to go watch porn." - Greg Woodhill   Porn's Affect On The Brain "When someone becomes so consumed by pornography that it takes their natural drive and funnels it into a place that is solo, secretive, and far less dangerous and scary than walking up to a person and saying, "Hello," so that they can reject you while porn can't, it takes the brain to a level of hyper-stimulation because the amount of dopamine that is created in their brain is far greater than what a real-life encounter can create. I'm not saying porn is better or more exciting, any in-person physicality or romance is far better in every way but as far as dopamine, porn creates a craving so intense that it's all people want instead of trying to finding a way to enrich their life with a real person because they're afraid of rejection." - Greg Woodhill   Our Essence Of Love "We are all born with the essence of love. That's it, that's who we are. You don't need to learn to love or love yourself, you need to allow the love that you were born with and remove the obstacles that are in front of it. One of the biggest obstacles to feeling peace, love, joy, connection, and intimacy with other people, for a lot of people, especially young men, is the fact that porn is their lifeline." - Greg Woodhill     Links From Today's Show Organifi Porn Addiction Stats - Pornography Addiction Statistics, Percentages, Numbers, & Info The Digital Generation These 16 U.S. States Passed Resolutions Recognizing Porn As A Public Health Issue 046 Dr. John Gray 208 Maddy Moon David Deida "Pornography Addiction" in 2017 Pornography Addiction Leads To Same Brain Activity As Alcoholism Or Drug Abuse, Study Shows The great porn experiment | Gary Wilson | TEDxGlasgow 012 Dan Pardi 048 Nir Eyal Sex Expert Webinar Series: Porn Addiction, Toxic Masculinity, and Anger Charles Duhigg Sex Therapy Lecture Series: Greg Woodhill - Porn Addiction: Kryptonite to Intimacy Greg Woodhill: Root Causes Of Porn Addiction And Healing With Real Intimacy Sex and Relationship Healing A Brave New Man Podcast with Greg Woodhill Greg Woodhill, MFT, CSAT LinkedIn Instagram Twitter   About Greg Woodhill Greg Woodhill, MFT, CSAT is a licensed psychotherapist who has spent thousands of hours directly helping sex and porn addicts recover from their addictions. He strongly believes that true psychological and emotional growth can only occur in a safe environment, which he provides for his clients through long-term therapeutic work. He holds a Master’s Degree from the University of Santa Monica, where he developed his personal therapeutic style of empathic listening, exploring early childhood trauma, and encouraging personal responsibility. He is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and spent 5 years working at the Center For Healthy Sex in Los Angeles under the mentorship of Alexandra Katehakis. He is passionate about the topic of addiction in all shapes and sizes, and he loves working with addicts to help them recover their passion and strength so that they can create true intimacy in their lives.   Join The #WellnessWarrior VIP Club **Click on the photo above to get exclusive discounts on new wellness tools, be first in line for new podcasts, get access to invite-only events, and so much more.**   More Top Episodes 226 Paul Chek: The Revolution Is Coming (3 Part Series) 131 Drew Manning: Emotional Fitness 129 Gretchen Rubin: The Four Tendencies  183 Dr. Kyra Bobinet: Brain Science 196 Aubrey Marcus: Own The Day 103 Robb Wolf: Wired To Eat Best of The Best: The Top 10 Guests From over 200 Shows Get More Wellness In Your Life Join the #WellnessWarrior Community on Facebook Tweet us on Twitter: Send us a tweet Comment on the Facebook page

Sex addicts who knowingly have sex with their spouses while having unprotected sex with others are violating their spouses by undermining her self-determination over her body.  When the partner of the SA has no idea she's been "having sex" with her spouse's sex workers, a crime has been committed. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Alex Katehakis, Ph.D, Clinical Director of Center for Healthy Sex, who believes that sex in a relationship where intimate deception is taking place is a non-consensual act and leaves many partners feeling "raped"  having been exposed to multiple sex partners and the potential to contract an STI, some of which can be fatal. Find out why few women get honest enough with themselves about the gravity of this type of gross violation!

How do you define sexual consent? Given the fact that we all come from different backgrounds with different pasts, it is impossible to guess whether or not a new sexual partner fully consents to sexual situations without having that conversation with them. It is important to be fully aware and present with our sexual partners in order to know whether they are fully consenting to our sexual encounters with them. In this episode we explore what consent actually is, and how we can deepen our relationships to others and ourselves in order to have healthier lives both sexually and otherwise. Our interview with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis teaches us: 1) How to define sexual consent for ourselves, 2) How to communicate those boundaries to our partners or observe those boundaries in others, and 3) How to hold ourselves to the highest standard of empathy, compassion, and respect for others. Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D., MFT, CSAT-S, CST-S is a Marriage Family Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist/Supervisor and Certified Sex Therapist/Supervisor, and Clinical Director of Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles. Dr. Katehakis has extensive experience in working with a full spectrum of sexuality; from sexual addiction to sex therapy, as well as problems of sexual desire and sexual dysfunction for individuals and couples. She has successfully facilitated the recovery of many sexually addicted individuals and assisted couples in revitalizing their sex lives. She earned her Ph.D. from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality.

Have you ever asked yourself that question? You may think, "procreation, of course" but that doesn't explain why people who don't want kids have sex. If you say, "fun and pleasure," that doesn't explain why, for the most part, we still seek out sex with other humans--even in an era where we can access porn within seconds, have sex toys discretely delivered to our doorsteps in two days or less, and maybe even order ourselves a sex robot, if all we really need are no-fuss orgasms. The only explanation left, is that sex allows us to feel a certain type of connection and intimacy with another human being, that is difficult to achieve in any other way. In this episode, Alexandra Katehakis of The Center for Healthy Sex is back to talk to Dan about sex and intimacy, and how men can begin to identify what they really want and need from a sexual partner, which is often hidden--even from themselves--by The Man Rules, which tell them what they should want.  

Episode 244: Greg Woodhill, MFT, CSAT is a licensed psychotherapist who has spent thousands of hours directly helping sex and porn addicts recover from their addictions. He strongly believes that true psychological and emotional growth can only occur in a safe environment, which he provides for his clients through long-term therapeutic work. He holds a Master's Degree from the University of Santa Monica, where he developed his personal therapeutic style of empathic listening, exploring early childhood trauma, and encouraging personal responsibility. He is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and spent 5 years working at the Center For Healthy Sex in Los Angeles under the mentorship of Alexandra Katehakis. He is passionate about the topic of addiction in all shapes and sizes, and he loves working with addicts to help them recover their passion and strength, so that they can create true intimacy in their lives. Show notes: To get a free 30-day trial of Audible + 1 free book, go HERE The Feminine Surrender Retreat - learn more HERE on how best friends are formed. How Greg got into this line of work and why he became interested in the profound effects that pornography has on men. The freedom that opens up for men once they start talking about this. Staggering pornography statistics. "It's hard to find a man that doesn't watch porn." Maddy's first experience watching porn. “I take no moral, ethical or religious perspective with porn. I don’t think it’s good or bad.” Porn is made for men by men in general. “I don’t think anyone needs to stop watching porn unless they believe it’s causing problems in their lives.” What it means when Greg says, "The porn is choosing them and they’re sexualizing their pain.” The upsides to porn — how it builds confidence, reduces shame and education, exciting, make you feel, soothing, sexy, fun. The dark side to porn and how it affects our unresolved emotional issues. Why you choose the type of porn that you do? “People gravitate to porn when they’re trying to work through unemotional material from the past.” A question Greg only asks during his therapy sessions: "If we could remove the sexual arousal from this experience, what experiences would you be experiencing?" "They’re porn watching to feel adequate." “Healing is the application of love to the places inside that hurt.” Why do they sexualize this pain instead of using drugs/alcohol for example? The false assumptions around pornography. Most of the time, the partner of a porn addict that doesn’t know that they’re with a porn addict. Erectile dysfunction and low libido are often accompanying effects with porn addicts. What do you do as a partner who is in a relationship with a porn addict? “The partner of a porn addict needs their own hope and healing.” Resources for pornography/sex-related addiction: sexandrelationshiphealing.com   pornaddicthubby.com iitap.com The important structure, boundaries, and guidelines you need as a partner of a porn addict. The importance of weekly check-in sobriety meetings. A reminder: you can set boundaries with love. A Brave New Man Podcast Must-read book: Pornland - How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality by Gail Dines One of Greg's best purchases ever: There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem by Wayne Dyer Connect with Greg:  Website Twitter

Episode 244: Greg Woodhill, MFT, CSAT is a licensed psychotherapist who has spent thousands of hours directly helping sex and porn addicts recover from their addictions. He strongly believes that true psychological and emotional growth can only occur in a safe environment, which he provides for his clients through long-term therapeutic work. He holds a Master's Degree from the University of Santa Monica, where he developed his personal therapeutic style of empathic listening, exploring early childhood trauma, and encouraging personal responsibility. He is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and spent 5 years working at the Center For Healthy Sex in Los Angeles under the mentorship of Alexandra Katehakis. He is passionate about the topic of addiction in all shapes and sizes, and he loves working with addicts to help them recover their passion and strength, so that they can create true intimacy in their lives. Show notes: To get a free 30-day trial of Audible + 1 free book, go here: http://audibletrial.com/mindbodymusings The Feminine Surrender Retreat - learn more on how best friends are formed: https://maddymoon.com/retreat-soul-mates/ How Greg got into this line of work and why he became interested in the profound effects that pornography has on men. The freedom that opens up for men once they start talking about this. Staggering pornography statistics. "It's hard to find a man that doesn't watch porn." Maddy's first experience watching porn. “I take no moral, ethical or religious perspective with porn. I don’t think it’s good or bad.” Porn is made for men by men in general. “I don’t think anyone needs to stop watching porn unless they believe it’s causing problems in their lives.” What it means when Greg says, "The porn is choosing them and they’re sexualizing their pain.” The upsides to porn — how it builds confidence, reduces shame and education, exciting, make you feel, soothing, sexy, fun. The dark side to porn and how it affects our unresolved emotional issues. Why you choose the type of porn that you do? “People gravitate to porn when they’re trying to work through unemotional material from the past.” A question Greg only asks during his therapy sessions: "If we could remove the sexual arousal from this experience, what experiences would you be experiencing?" "They’re porn watching to feel adequate." “Healing is the application of love to the places inside that hurt.” Why do they sexualize this pain instead of using drugs/alcohol for example? The false assumptions around pornography. Most of the time, the partner of a porn addict that doesn’t know that they’re with a porn addict. Erectile dysfunction and low libido are often accompanying effects with porn addicts. What do you do as a partner who is in a relationship with a porn addict? “The partner of a porn addict needs their own hope and healing.” Resources for pornography/sex-related addiction: sexandrelationshiphealing.com   pornaddicthubby.com iitap.com The important structure, boundaries, and guidelines you need as a partner of a porn addict. The importance of weekly check-in sobriety meetings. A reminder: you can set boundaries with love. A Brave New Man Podcast: http://www.gregwoodhill.com/podcast/ Must-read book: Pornland - How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality by Gail Dines https://amzn.to/2NWC9zX One of Greg's best purchases ever: There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem by Wayne Dyer https://amzn.to/2tYkajm Connect with Greg:  Website: http://www.gregwoodhill.com/ Instagram for a Brave New Man Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/abravenewmanpod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/gregwoodhill [Tweet "Has porn hijacked your sexuality? Is it time to reclaim it? #mindbodymusings #podcast"] {RETREAT} The Feminine Surrender: A Weekend Haven for Restoring Trust, Love and Expression is approaching.

Episode 2. There are many reasons why we get involved in unhealthy relationships. What are the red flags? In this episode, the story of a young woman’s high school obsession with a boy reveals some signs we should be wary of, as does the ongoing saga of Will and Abby’s broken relationship. Sex and love addiction expert Dr. Alexandra Katehakis helps us better understand how “attachment” styles developed early in life can lead to the behavior. Director Neil Jordan, of Focus Features film Greta, discusses the unlikely and inappropriate relationships he explores in his films.

When most people think of addictions, they only think it can be substance abuse, like alcohol or drugs. However, it very common to be addicted to the thrill and excitement one gets from sexual or romantic relationships. And this addiction can be as damaging to a person, their life and their family. Love addiction, which is a "bed fellow" of co-dependency, strikes many people and is not well understood. Listen as Amee interviews Dr. Alexandra Katehakis, a nationally-recognized expert in the field of sex and love addiction, and learn how a preoccupation with finding Mr. or Ms. Right can actually be a warning sign of a deeper concern. The Center for Healthy Sex www.centerforhealthysex.comSex and Love Addicts Anonymous https://slaafws.org/Co-Dependents Anonymous http://coda.org/

A conversation with Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D. about the psychobiological factors that contribute to and reinforce a compulsive drive toward sex for affective regulation, as well as relational approaches to assessment and treatment. For more on Alexandra, links from the conversation, and the APA citation for this episode visit https://wp.me/p7R6fn-rg.

Renowned Sex therapist Dr. Alexandra Katehakis gives a great interview that would serve as a primer to any therapist about sex addiction.  Dr. Alexandra "Alex" Katehakis is a published, award-winning author, licensed psychotherapist, and is recognized as a leader in the field of Integrative sex therapy. Katehakis makes regular contributions to publications like Psychology Today and the Huffington Post, has been interviewed by Rolling Stone, Washington Post and the LA Times, has made several television appearances on programs like Inside Hollywood, Spike TV and CNN, and is frequently featured as a prominent expert panelist at sexuality conferences worldwide alongside the likes of Dan Siegel and Christopher Kennedy Lawford.She is the Clinical Director of Center For Healthy Sex, a treatment center based in Los Angeles. Katehakis holds licensure and certification with several different mental health organizations: Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) with the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), for which she is a clinical supervisor and member of the teaching faculty; Certified Sex Therapist (CST) with the American Association of Sex Educators Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) for which she is also a clinical supervisor; Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) with the California Board of Behavioral Sciences (BBS), and Senior Fellow at the Meadows inpatient trauma and addiction rehabilitation center in Arizona.

When looking at sexual betrayal, many people in our society simplify it down to the fact that the betrayer is bad, wrong, and should be cut off. This leaves out the opportunity of a much more complex way of viewing these situations. To think about this with a more open mind is not to say that there is no accountability on the part of the betrayer, but to hold them accountable while at the same time bringing understanding to them as a person. In this conversation with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis we talk all about healthy sex, sex addiction, love addiction, and how to work with couples facing these issues.  Alexandra Katehakis, PhD is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles and the author of several books which I will list below with links. She is an LMFT and clinical supervisor at the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists and a clinical supervisor and member of the teaching faculty for the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), a national certifying body for sex addiction therapists. She is a prominent writer and expert panelist at sexuality conferences and public events. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes. Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group Check out Alex's website at centerforhealthysex.com Books:  Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment co-author of the award-winning daily meditation book, Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence and contributing author of the award-winning clinical textbook Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts and her brand new workbook: Sexual Reflections: A Workbook for Designing and Celebrating Your Sexual Health Plan

In this episode, Alanis talks with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis about sex addiction. Below are some books by Dr. Alexandra Katehakis:  Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex After Recovery from Sex Addiction  Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Femail Sex and Love Addicts

Alex Katehakis is a licensed Marriage, Family Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist in Los Angeles. She has extensive experience in working with a full spectrum of sexuality from sexual addiction to sex therapy, and problems of sexual desire and sexual dysfunction for individuals and couples. Alex has successfully facilitated the recovery of many sexually addicted individuals and assisted couples in revitalizing their sex lives.Dr. Katehakis is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in West Los Angeles, CA. She has lectured for the U.S. Journal Training Conference series, the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health, the UCLA Annual Attachment Conference, the Psychotherapy Networker Annual Conference, Women’s Association of Addiction Treatment, Mt. Sinai Medical School, AIDS Project LA, Eastern Group Psychotherapy Society, Phillips Graduate Institute and Pepperdine University. Dr. Katehakis earned her PhD from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in 2017.She is the author of Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment (2016), Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot Healthy Sex after Recovery From Sex Addiction (2010), the co-author of Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence (2014) and a contributing author to Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts (2012) — all available on Amazon.www.centerforhealthysex.com

“Things can be true on one level, and on another, not true at all. Wisdom is to know how to hear and see on different levels at the same time.”  - Richard Rohr Let's think about the typical life cycle of a public sexual misconduct allegation. The conversation that surrounds each accusation tends to center around what's right and what's wrong. We want--no, we need--clear answers. Was it a harmless joke? Or, was it a clear violation of sexual boundaries? Is it right to fire him over that? Is it wrong to suspect the victim may be exaggerating? Is going to “sex addiction treatment” just a way for the perpetrator to try to shirk responsibility for his actions? What if the perpetrator isn't a man? What if the victim isn't a woman? Dr. Alexandra Katehakis returns to the show to help Dan finally and definitively answer all of these questions--JUST KIDDING! There, of course, are no definitive answers to these questions. That's one of the many things that makes this gender-based cultural upheaval extremely confusing and sometimes painful. While at the extreme ends of the sexual misconduct spectrum, we can clearly label some people as criminals and others as victims, there's a lot of room in between for varying degrees of nuance. Though Alex and Dan don't provide us with all the answers, they do make a convincing case for embracing the chaos in a way that forces us to be more honest with ourselves and with each other, and for seizing the opportunity to have these conversations in our homes, workplaces, churches, and schools, so that we can build a better future based on true gender equality. 

Can you be addicted to love, or sex, and - if so - what does that mean? How does the way that your parents raised you - especially when you were really young - affect your sex life? How do you define your own version of healthy sex - so that you’re not just following along with what culture has handed you? And finally - how do you step away from the dopamine and novelty-seeking of dating - and, when you find someone, make the switch to a monogamous relationship? In today’s episode, we are speaking to one of the world’s experts on sex and neurobiology - and especially the treatment of Sex and Love Addiction - Dr. Alexandra Katehakis. Alex’s book, Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation, is a must-read for therapists looking to understand the latest on how to approach sex addiction treatment in therapy, and her work at the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles fosters a sex-positive approach to re-discovering sex in a way that’s right for you. Alex is also the author of Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While In Recovery from Sex Addiction. Noticing addictive behaviors: An addiction can be defined as something to which we have a strong predilection for and have little control over our actions in relation to the desire. We may find ourselves preoccupied in our thinking, and find that much of our time is spent either engaging in the addiction or in preparation for the experience of it. Furthermore, unlike other things which we strongly enjoy, an addiction has a certain secrecy and shame surrounding it. This is especially true when the behavior we are engaging in violates our own personal value system. Love as an addiction: Love is an addictive process. This makes sense in evolutionary and biological terms as it ensures that we bind together with a mate in an intense enough way as to invest in procreating and raising a family. The profound longing and desire that can be involved in falling in love is not necessarily problematic, however thinking about love through the addiction model can help shed light on the pain of breakups, divorces, and endings. Love withdrawal: How many times have you said, or heard a friend say, that it feels like a limb has been cut off when we lose someone. During endings many people experience the emotional and psychological distress as physical pain- as if their heart is actually breaking. This is true because the same neural pain centers in the brain involved in physical injury are involved in our attachments to others. While it can be very helpful to create boundaries with exes through such actions as blocking and/or deleting numbers, the pain can be visceral. Changing our automatic patterning: People realize they are in the cycle of addiction when they find themselves doing things they do not want to do anymore and yet, can’t stop engaging in the behavior despite wanting to. It is important at this stage to understand that 1) you do have the capacity to change and 2) it will be a slow process. Changing our automatic patterning is not like turning a speed boat around, rather it is more like turning around a large barge. Neuroscience research validates that this shifting is possible through repeated behavior. The saying is that ‘neurons that fire together, wire together’, meaning that you must do something over and over again to build new neural pathways, and thus, new patterns. The more you engage in the new behavior the more tenacious the neural networks will become and the more integrated this way of being will feel- to the point that it will become the new automatic. As you focus increasingly on the new behavior, the old neural pathways associated with the negative addictions will begin to prune. This is the beauty of neuroplasticity- have some patience with it! Attunement is essential in building secure attachment. The predilections for addictions of all kinds are often established in early childhood. This is true because, human beings, more than most animals, are nearly entirely dependent on their caregivers for survival. As we now understand from the research on attachment, the first few months of a child’s life are critical in setting up a healthy nervous system. It is the job of the caregiver to be an interactive regulator- giving opportunity for attunement and safe interactions so that the right brain can develop over the first 18 months. There are many ways that parents fail to attune to their child- the severity of the impact depends on frequency, intensity, and ability to make repairs. Depending on the type of engagement from parents children will develop a tendency towards high sympathetic arousal (fight or flight responses) or parasympathetic responses such as freezing, collapse, and dissociation. This dysregulation can then lead to a higher dependence on external supports- thus helping to explain how addictions often stem from an attempt by an individual to regulate affect. Adaptive strategies for soothing. Early childhood experiences of attachment lay the groundwork and the wiring for lifelong relational patterns. Children who were not met with regulated and present caregivers inevitably find strategies in order to survive and often carry these patterns into adulthood when it comes to handling arousal state throughout their lifetime. Insecurely attached individuals either experience 1) a constantly seeking mentality and dependency on external soothing and/or 2) a high distrust that others will ever meet their needs. Trapped by the ‘rescue fantasy’: If you had a parent who was dismissive, or avoidant, you likely learned at a young age that you had to manage yourself, by yourself. You may have resorted to creating a rescue fantasy in which someone came to rescue you from the chronic emptiness and loneliness you were experiencing. This may have been a coach, a teacher, a rockstar, a neighbor, or a fairy princess- someone outside of yourself and your family who had the power to alleviate your pain. This is a brilliant soothing strategy in childhood, however it becomes increasingly maladaptive in adulthood in that it creates unhealthy desires and harmful expectations in our relationships. In cultivating the ability to imagine the ideal caregiver, a child feeds their need for attunement, however adults who idealize their lovers as saviors tend to miss critical cues that allow them to assess whether the person they are attracted to is available, safe, and stable. Need for reinforcing attachment: Only 54% of people in our culture today are securely attached- and this number is likely to shrink further as more families experience increasing stressors and there are fewer two person systems raising children. The fullness, high speed pace, and distraction of daily modern life is making it increasingly difficult for parents to insure they are able to provide their children with adequate attunement. Note that the majority of insecure attachments are not caused by outright abuse or neglect, but rather from an accumulation of misaligned and misattuned moments- microassaults that go without repair or acknowledgment. Human beings need other human beings for regulation: One thing we know from the accumulating data is that people can develop a secure attachment in a love relationship. It is in our relationships where we a second chance to practice getting our needs met in healthy ways. With a present, grounded, and  growth oriented partner it is possible to become more securely attached, love more fully, and have deeper intimacy. That said, long term relationships are not flower fields! As many like to say, if you want to not have any issues then it is best to live alone! Relationships turn up the heat on our underlying issues and bring our habits, patterns, and old beliefs to the surface. While much of our healing, especially of childhood wounds, are our responsibility to mend and tend, this does not have to occur prior to entering a relationship. In fact, some aspects of deep healing depends on the relationship given that we need coregulation to repair. Be on the lookout for a partner who does not have a martyr complex, nor a need for you to be helpless so they can be the ‘fixer’. Look instead for someone who shares your values and is willing to stay present through the pain and discomfort of growing. How do you switch from courtship into monogamy? We live in a culture that provides ample opportunity for novelty, and relies on a promise of more and better. This creates excitement, yet havoc in the dating world as there is a tendency to doubt what is in front of us in hopes for the newest and shiniest thing that may be waiting around the corner- or one more tinder swipe away. If you are interested in moving from dating into a longer term committed relationship, it is critical that you get clear with yourself about your values. Can you make a list of your top 3 non-negotiables? Example: education, spirituality, wants kids, doesn’t want kids, sense of humor… Get super clear with yourself. This clarity will help you to recognize when a person who fits these values shows up, and will help to ground you in the reality of the person in front of you, thus helping to alleviate the gnawing and often overwhelming urge to keep searching for some fantasy version of a partner. What to do when you are jonesing… Dating apps, along with porn, offers a dopamine rush that is hard to compete with. When you begin to shift towards wanting to dive deeper into a relationship you may struggle with feeling a lack of this exciting surge. Learn to be fully present with your somatic experience- noticing what is happening for you, what you are craving, and in what ways this helps show you that you are dysregulated.  Own your internal experience, and then commit to being more present to your partner. Let the distractions and urges be reminders to yourself to come back to your present experience- there is a plethora of feel good hormones (including dopamine) that can be released when you connect in with your partner and spend time finding out who they are without making assumptions, and getting that juicy surge of oxytocin that comes with intimate connections. Putting bodies, hearts, and souls together: We need each other to regulate. People know, at least technically, how to have sex- there has been enough emphasis on this throughout our culture- however they may not know how to have quality and truly connecting intimacy. We can put our bodies together, but are we capable of putting our hearts and souls together in a way that has meaning, promotes a sense of safety, while also being arousing and erotic? In order to move into a fuller experience of intimacy, we must learn to track ourselves and our partners. By paying close attention to our internal experiences we can learn to notice moments of dysregulation and from this becoming curious about the underlying need that is being somatically communicated. Once we notice this, we can name it to our partner and from this learn that we can in fact, get our needs met. The experience of getting a need met not only leads to healing, but also to an incredibly erotic, arousing, and passionate sense of deep connection! Multidimensionality of healthy sex: Healthy sex requires a thorough investigation of who you are sexually at this moment in your life, what you like, and from this putting together a new roadmap for yourself. What is healthy for you right now is likely to be different not only from other people, but even from yourself at an earlier point in your life. Get raw and honest with yourself. What feels good? What kind of touch turns you on? In what ways is the sex you are engaging in a celebration of your sexual values, and in what ways is it not? Look at the multidimensionality of sex- the physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual aspects. Tune into your arousal cycle, your current genital functioning, and any other physical cues that need to be paid attention to. Your sex life will not be fulfilling unless the sex practices you are engaging in aligns with your personal and sexual values. Get support and go on a sexual diet. If you suspect yourself to be in an addictive cycle when it comes to love, sex, and/or dating apps be sure to reach out for support. Find a therapist, a sex therapist, and/or a support group in your area or online. Love and sex addictions are the result of attachment wounding and thus, are best healed in relationship. Seek out safe others. There may be a time in your healing process in which you may benefit from taking a break from your compulsive patterns (even consider celibacy) in order to gain perspective on your own urgings. This pulling away time is a raw state as you will feel the void of not having ‘that thing’ you are so accustomed to running towards for relief. In these times fellowship can be incredibly helpful- search out people to surround yourself with that know what you are going through. And remember- the brain is capable of rewiring towards healthier habits if you are able and committed to putting in the time and effort needed to refocus your attention and train your brain! Sponsors: Talkspace.com - Online therapy that matches you with your perfect therapist. You can communicate with your therapist daily - so they can be there for you during the moments you most need support. Visit talkspace.com/ALIVE and use the coupon code “ALIVE” for $30 off your first month of online therapy. Resources: Check out the Center for Healthy Sex Read Alex Katehakis’ newest book Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment Find more about Allan Schore’s work here www.neilsattin.com/healthysex Visit to download the show guide, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the show guide to this episode with Alex Katehakis Our Relationship Alive Community on Facebook Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out

IN THIS EPISODE: Sexuality From A Neurobiological Perspective In this episode, our guest is Dr. Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D., LMFT, who is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles, California and author of Sex Addiction As Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment, co-author of the multiple award-winning Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence, contributing author to Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts, and author of Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot Healthy Sex While in Recovery From Sex Addiction. Dr. Katehakis’ and Dr. Kelley engage in a sex-positive discussion on how neurobiology, affect regulation and sexuality intersect and impact our ability to express ourselves fully throughout our lives. This podcast answers such questions as: How do we engage our kids in a positive, non-shaming way about their developing sexuality? How can the experience of shame around sexual experiences at an early age lead to sexual compulsivity? How do you talk with our sexual partner/s about needs, desires, fears and wants in order to have sexual lives rich with vitality and excitement? How do psychoneurobiology, sex and trauma relate to one another? How can people restore their sexuality to something that’s true and beautiful for them? How has the availability of internet pornography shaped our culture, our brains and our sexual expression? How does one recognize and treat the signs of sexual compulsivity and sex addiction? Sexual addiction is addressed as a non-shaming and hopeful conceptualization that promotes successful treatment and secure relating.   RESOURCES: Additional resources for this episode: Affect Dysregulation and Disorders of the Self Alan Schore Facing Recovery, Starting Relational and Sexual Recovery Patrick Carnes Brainstorm the Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain Dan Siegel Center for Healthy Sex Dr. Alexandra Katehakis Excellent PDF by Dr. Alexandra Katehakis shared with permission.  These and other resources have been collected for you on our Resources page!   Tweet

IN THIS EPISODE:Show NotesSexuality From A Neurobiological PerspectiveIn this episode, our guest is Dr. Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D., LMFT, who is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles, California and author of Sex Addiction As Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment, co-author of the multiple award-winning Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence, contributing author to Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts, and author of Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot Healthy Sex While in Recovery From Sex Addiction. Dr. Katehakis’ and Dr. Kelley engage in a sex-positive discussion on how neurobiology, affect regulation and sexuality intersect and impact our ability to express ourselves fully throughout our lives. This podcast answers such questions as: How do we engage our kids in a positive, non-shaming way about their developing sexuality? How can the experience of shame around sexual experiences at an early age lead to sexual compulsivity? How do you talk with our sexual partner/s about needs, desires, fears and wants in order to have sexual lives rich with vitality and excitement? How do psychoneurobiology, sex and trauma relate to one another? How can people restore their sexuality to something that’s true and beautiful for them? How has the availability of internet pornography shaped our culture, our brains and our sexual expression? How does one recognize and treat the signs of sexual compulsivity and sex addiction? Sexual addiction is addressed as a non-shaming and hopeful conceptualization that promotes successful treatment and secure relating.   RESOURCES: (https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/) Additional resources for this episode: Affect Dysregulation and Disorders of the Self (http://amzn.to/2tr5ydU)  Alan Schore Facing Recovery, Starting Relational and Sexual Recovery (http://amzn.to/2tmWTZT)  Patrick Carnes Brainstorm the Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain (http://amzn.to/2ukhMBN)  Dan Siegel Center for Healthy Sex (http://centerforhealthysex.com/)  Dr. Alexandra Katehakis Excellent PDF (http://www.journalofplay.org/sites/www.journalofplay.org/files/pdf-articles/9-2-article-5-sexual-fantasy-adult-attunement.pdf) by Dr. Alexandra Katehakis shared with permission.  These and other resources have been collected for you on our Resources page! (https://www.therapistuncensored.com/resources/)   Tweet (https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.therapistuncensored.com%2Fsex_from_light_to_dark%2F&via=austinshrinks) Support this podcast

Dr. Katehakis weaves together her background as both a Sex Addiction Therapist and Sex Therapist to look for ways where those in recovery can find healthy sexuality again. She speaks on practical matters for couples in recovery as well as the importance of meditation and vulnerability. She is the Director of the Center for Healthy Sex which has a […] The post Castimonia Purity Podcast Episode 47: Interview with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis – Certified Sex Addiction Therapist on Sexuality in Recovery appeared first on CASTIMONIA.

Welcome to episode 12 of the Sexology Podcast, today I'm speaking to Natalie Finegood Goldberg, LMFT, CST about the issues surrounding erectile dysfunction. In this episode, Natalie talks about the causes of erectile dysfunction, its physiological and psychological factors contributing to this struggles and steps that can be taken to overcome this issue. Natalie Finegood Goldberg is an AASECT Certified Los Angeles Sex Therapist and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (MFC #53017) specializing in sex therapy and psychotherapy. Working with individuals and couples, Natalie offers therapy services at her private practice in Beverly Hills. Previous work experience includes being a staff clinical associate at Center for Healthy Sex in West Los Angeles, as well as having previously worked at Cliffside Malibu, a dual diagnosis inpatient drug and alcohol rehab. Natalie was born and raised in Los Angeles and is familiar with the variety of pressures that come with living in LA.  In addition to her degrees, Natalie has participated in a variety of trainings including a Clinical Sexology training with Dr. Patti Britton, Bridging the Couple Chasm: A Research Based Approach by Drs John and Julie Gottman, and the Sex Addiction Treatment Training Program with Alexandra Katehakis, MFT, CSAT-S, CST-S. Natalie completed the rigorous requirements to become a sex therapist through the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) under the supervision of Alexandra Katehakis, MFT, CSAT-S, CST-S and Dr Tammy Nelson, CST-S. Natalie is trained in EMDR Therapy with advanced training in AF-EMDR (Attachment Focused EMDR) with Dr Laurel Parnell.  In this episode, you will hear: The physical and psychological reasons why erections occur How as men get older they need a mixture of physical and psychological stimulation to get an erection The criteria that needs to be met to be diagnosed with erectile dysfunction How erectile dysfunction is related to all sexual activity, not just for example masturbation The physiological and psychological causes of erectile dysfunction Why men prefer the problem to be physiological How taking Viagra can make things worse if the problem is psychological The effects anxiety can have in relation to erectile dysfunction The impact erectile dysfunction can have on couples / relationships How masturbation and pornography can affect erectile dysfunction Available treatments both medically and psychologically The average time treatments can take The additional benefits mindfulness can bring The importance of communication to help overcome this issue Ways you can regain your sexual energy Understanding that erectile dysfunction is a multi-layered issue that needs ongoing support     Resources http://www.creatingchangela.com natalie@creatingchangela.com

Alexandra Katehakis is the founder and clinical director of the Center for Healthy Sex, specializing in therapy for sexual addiction and sexual issues within marriage. In addition to writing several books on the subject, Alexandra will be presenting on sexual dysregulation during Sounds True's upcoming Neuroscience Training Summit 2017. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon and Alexandra discuss the roots of sexual dysfunction and how to approach it in adulthood. They speak on "grownup sex"—a sexuality based in honest communication of needs, preferences, and desires for novelty. Tami and Alexandra also explore topics such as asexuality, sexuality without intimacy, and why orgasms are overrated. (58 minutes)

This two-part episode is a response to a panel a panel of therapists and a neuroscientist who in episodes 347-348 challenged the idea that pornography is physically addicting, suggesting instead that problematic pornography usage was a symptom of deeper issues, and therefore the best therapeutic approaches focus less on pornography and more on uncovering these underlying pathologies. In this episode, a panel of therapists and a neurosurgeon whose research centers on the biology behind why the brain seeks what it seeks present why they believe the "addiction" model is appropriate, and share how much richer and more diverse are the therapeutic models they employ than what the earlier panel believes, and is even richer in options than traditional approaches. This discussion also looks much more broadly than the previous episodes into "sex addiction" and its treatment. This panel, featuring Jackie Pack, Alexandra Katehakis, Stefanie Carnes, and Donald Hilton, along with Mormon Matters host Dan Wotherspoon, dive deep into brain structures and pathways, dopamine and reward and seeking centers, and ways that today's pornography might be classified as a supra-normal stimulus--meaning that it can elicit responses in humans that are much greater than occur in natural situations. The team dives into a great deal of complex scientific material but keeps things understandable and maintains terrific balance. In the final sections of the podcast, they also discuss misunderstandings about Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) certifications, introduce its therapeutic models, and discuss the role that religion can play in both creating difficulties for and helping bring about increased sexual health.

This two-part episode is a response to a panel a panel of therapists and a neuroscientist who in episodes 347-348 challenged the idea that pornography is physically addicting, suggesting instead that problematic pornography usage was a symptom of deeper issues, and therefore the best therapeutic approaches focus less on pornography and more on uncovering these underlying pathologies. In this episode, a panel of therapists and a neurosurgeon whose research centers on the biology behind why the brain seeks what it seeks present why they believe the "addiction" model is appropriate, and share how much richer and more diverse are the therapeutic models they employ than what the earlier panel believes, and is even richer in options than traditional approaches. This discussion also looks much more broadly than the previous episodes into "sex addiction" and its treatment. This panel, featuring Jackie Pack, Alexandra Katehakis, Stefanie Carnes, and Donald Hilton, along with Mormon Matters host Dan Wotherspoon, dive deep into brain structures and pathways, dopamine and reward and seeking centers, and ways that today's pornography might be classified as a supra-normal stimulus--meaning that it can elicit responses in humans that are much greater than occur in natural situations. The team dives into a great deal of complex scientific material but keeps things understandable and maintains terrific balance. In the final sections of the podcast, they also discuss misunderstandings about Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) certifications, introduce its therapeutic models, and discuss the role that religion can play in both creating difficulties for and helping bring about increased sexual health.

Alexandra Katehakis is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles and the author of Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction. She's also the co-author of the award-winning daily meditation book, Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence, from which she reads during our far-reaching interview. We touch on a host of subjects, including the difference between desire and eroticism, the value of examining sexual fantasy and peak sexual experiences, the meaning of trauma in today's world, the many faces of sex addiction and love addiction, how to find novelty within one's long-term sexual relationships, and much more. Our music today is by Ketsa, and the track is called "Dryness." It is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 License.

Alex Katehakis is a licensed Marriage, Family Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist in Los Angeles. She talks to Dr. Drew about sexual perversions/addictions as well as the influence of porn in today's society. DrDrew.com

Exciting and healthy sex comes being relational and operates from the premise that only through intimate connection to another can highly erotic, spiritual sex happen. Healthy sex, intimate sex, erotic sex and sex as a spiritual act develop from honest conversations about difficult topics that grow and strengthen a relationship. In this interview withAlexandra Katehakis, MFT, CSAT-S, CST-S,  we will talk about sex as an essential part of sexual sobriety, personal growth, and development. Clinicians and patients often ask: How do I restore my sexuality as self-care and a connection to another? Do my sexual fantasies have a place in my relationship? How can sex be exciting again? Will I be able to masturbate again? How do I talk to my partner about what I like sexually?  Sexual Addiction is a disorder that requires strategies to assist you in maintaining recovery. This show is to help you access the books, the experts and the people who are managing recovery with The 12 Step Program and Patrick Carnes Recovery Task Model that reinforces the steps you need to take to manage your recovery and take your life through the journey so that you not only conquer the "Addict" but develop into the person you were meant to be! Carol the Coach is a Certified Sexual Addictions Therapist who is ready to take you on the journey and expose you to the experts who will guide you through the steps.

This week the show continues it’s foray into the behavioral addictions with a focus on sex addiction, love addiction, and porn addiction where the above question is addressed. Denise interviews Alexandra Katehakis, MFT, CSAT-S, CST-S, Clinical Director for the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles, CA. What is the difference between sex addiction and […] The post Addicted to Addicts: Survival 101 – Tiger Woods, Anthony Wiener, David Duchovny: Are They Really Sex Addicts? appeared first on WebTalkRadio.net.