Podcast appearances and mentions of patricia albere

Susun Weed answers 90 minutes of herbal health questions followed by a 30 minute interview with Holistic teacher Sherry Pae.  Sherry Pae has been immersed in the fields of health care, holistic healing, personal transformational, group leadership, and spiritual evolution since 1972. She began in the field of healing as a Critical Care Nurse, where she dedicated 26 years to developing her capacity to be deeply present with another and was taken into the world of body-mind medicine through her experiences with her patients. She began teaching nurses how to be Critical Care Nurses inside of a holistic framework of healing, and her many gifts of haling emerged. She developed her ability to work with others as a teacher, a meditator, a CranioSacral Therapist, a psychotherapist, and an energy healer. She is currently a teacher within the Evolutionary Collective, engaging inthe Global Development of Mutual Awakening, which dedicated to the embodiment of love and unity-consciousness through our awakening together. Through it all she offers others the opportunity to experience the uniqueness of their life within the unfolding creation of shared unity. Patricia has a free, self-paced Introduction to Mutual Awakening e-Course available at www.evolutionarycollective.com/intro. The e-Course has 5 modules and includes free access to the first three chapters of Patricia Albere's bestselling book Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening. Note: It would be wonderful if you can reference that during the interview as well as provide the link on the website. https://discovermutualawakening.com  

Face to Face with Patricia AlbereLive on OMTimes Radio Thursday, November 24, 2022 at 10:30 PST / 1:30 PM ESTPATRICIA ALBERE originated the Mutual Awakening Practice – a 21st century spiritual practice that empowers us to enter into new dimensions of relating and expanding consciousness together. Her ground-breaking work demonstrates how we can move beyond individual psychology and transformation into a new space of mutual awakening or ‘inter-being' or ‘we-mysticism.'And it's changing people's lives. A recognised leader and innovator in the emerging field of inter-subjective awakening and post-personal development, Patricia's unique discovery of the essential components that create an awakened ‘we space' is transforming our understanding of what is possible in the space between us. Want to know more? Join us this week when Patricia Albere shares the 10 best spiritual books that influenced her life life journey (think Carl Calleman, David Hawkins Frank Capra, Sri Aurobindo… and more).You can view PATRICIA ALBERE'S 10 Best List HERE.Join the No BS Spiritual Book Club mailing list https://forms.aweber.com/form/93/758545393.htmConnect with Sandie Sedgbeer at https://www.sedgbeer.com#PatriciaAlbere #SandieSedgbeer #NoBSSpiritualBookClubSubscribe to our Newsletter https://omtimes.com/subscribe-omtimes-magazine/Connect with OMTimes on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Omtimes.Magazine/ and OMTimes Radio https://www.facebook.com/ConsciousRadiowebtv.OMTimes/Twitter: https://twitter.com/OmTimes/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/omtimes/Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/2798417/Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/omtimes/

Patricia Albere originated the Mutual Awakening Practice - a 21st-century spiritual practice that empowers us to enter into new dimensions of relating and expanding consciousness together. Her ground-breaking work demonstrates how we can move beyond individual psychology and transformation into a new space of mutual awakening or ‘inter-being' or ‘we-mysticism.' And it's changing people's lives. A recognized leader and innovator in the emerging field of inter-subjective awakening and post-personal development, Patricia's unique discovery of the essential components that create an awakened 'we space' is transforming our understanding of what is possible in the space between us. Want to know more? Join us as Patricia Albere shares the 10 best spiritual books that influenced her life journey (think Carl Calleman, David Hawkins Frank Capra, Sri Aurobindo… and more). --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sandie-sedgbeer/support

Evolutionary Relationships – Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening with Patricia AlbereLivestreaming Thursday, 22 September 2022 at 7:00 AM PST/10:00 AM EST on OMTimes Magazine Facebook, OMTimes Radio & TV Facebook, or OMTimesTV YoutubeFor millennia, spirituality has been a deeply personal pursuit – monks on mountaintops and yogis in caves. But the world is more social than ever, and interconnectedness is transforming everything, from our family lives to work. Today, we need a spirituality that focuses more on “we” than “me.” In her book Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening, Patricia Albere draws on more than four decades of teaching work to explore what an evolutionary relationship is and introduce a new dimension of egoless shared unity that is becoming accessible through evolutionary relationships.Life is defined by relationships—we're deeply social creatures. But not all relationships are created equal. An “Evolutionary Relationship” is one that drives us, challenges us, compels us to grow and evolve not through expertly learning to navigate our separateness, but by finding a new point of contact that is beyond the ego, beyond our karma and beyond even a soul connection. Join Sandie and Patricia Albere for this (r)evolutionary conversation and discover a new paradigm of relatedness.Patricia Albere is the founder of the Evolutionary Collective, internationally known contemporary spiritual teacher, visionary, bestselling author of Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Transformative Power of Mutual Awakening and recognized leader in the emerging field of post-personal development. Her unique experience of a sustained dual awakening over 20 years ago resulted in a different kind of realization, a dual realization. It has led to the discovery of the essential components that create an awakened ‘we space' that is transforming our understanding of what is possible in the space between us.Connect with Patricia at https://evolutionarycollective.com#PatriciaAlbere #EvolutionaryRelationships #SandieSedgbeer #WhatIsGoingOMVisit the What Is Going OM show page https://omtimes.com/iom/shows/what-is-going-omConnect with Sandie Sedgbeer at https://www.sedgbeer.comSubscribe to our Newsletter https://omtimes.com/subscribe-omtimes-magazine/Connect with OMTimes on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Omtimes.Magazine/ and OMTimes Radio https://www.facebook.com/ConsciousRadiowebtv.OMTimes/Twitter: https://twitter.com/OmTimes/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/omtimes/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/OMTimesTVLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/2798417/Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/omtimes/

In this episode, Patricia Albere and I talk about her experiences with mutual awakening and the unitive consciousness work she is doing now with groups. She is the founder of the Evolutionary Collective, an internationally known contemporary spiritual teacher and bestselling author of Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Transformative Power of Mutual Awakening. She has been a spiritual transformation teacher since 1971 when she began as an EST trainer with EST founder Werner Erhard. But along the way, she had a very amazing experience in mutual awakening with a man she had fallen in love with. We talked about that and how powerful that was because it was a case of inter-subjective awakening and experiencing reality with another person in a much deeper way. Over the last 14 years, Albere has been pioneering a whole new realm of group unity work that leads to a shared unity in which the group experiences intra-subjective (shared) reality together. She says that in that state of shared unity, one feels that the individuals in the group take on a shared group identity (while still retaining their individual identity). And she added that she clearly feels that "Evolution is leading the group to new, higher levels of consciousness." She describes this as going beyond our individual "Me project" to the "We project" which involves truly experiencing We Consciousness as shared unity, shared reality. In talking with her, I feel that this is where human evolution is ultimately going, and I believe her work is very important for the future of humanity. Learn more about her at EvolutionaryCollective.com, and you can sign up for her free Introduction to Mutual Awakening e-course.Support the show

On today’s episode, I interview Patricia Albere, the founder of the Evolutionary Collective, internationally known contemporary spiritual teacher, visionary, bestselling author of Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Transformative Power of Mutual Awakening and recognized leader in the emerging field of post-personal development. Her unique experience of a sustained dual awakening over 20 years ago led to the discovery of the essential components that create an awakened ‘we space’ that is transforming our understanding of what is possible in the space between us. Patricia has a free, self-paced Introduction to Mutual Awakening e-Course available at www.evolutionarycollective.come/intro-course-yt We talk about the following and so much more: ✅ The new evolutionary dimension of embodiment and what it means to be in an evolutionary relationship ✅ Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and how she applies it to the world of relationships ✅ How the need for connection has changed in the last ten years and especially in the last year of the pandemic ✅ The Mutual Awakening Practice and why its important Please tag us and tell us what you loved! You can follow @Gateways_To_Awakening on Instagram or Facebook if you’d like to stay connected.

On today’s episode, I interview Patricia Albere, the founder of the Evolutionary Collective, internationally known contemporary spiritual teacher, visionary, bestselling author of Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Transformative Power of Mutual Awakening and recognized leader in the emerging field of post-personal development. Her unique experience of a sustained dual awakening over 20 years ago led to the discovery of the essential components that create an awakened ‘we space’ that is transforming our understanding of what is possible in the space between us. Patricia has a free, self-paced Introduction to Mutual Awakening e-Course available at www.evolutionarycollective.come/intro-course-yt We talk about the following and so much more: ✅ The new evolutionary dimension of embodiment and what it means to be in an evolutionary relationship ✅ Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and how she applies it to the world of relationships ✅ How the need for connection has changed in the last ten years and especially in the last year of the pandemic ✅ The Mutual Awakening Practice and why its important Please tag us and tell us what you loved! You can follow @Gateways_To_Awakening on Instagram or Facebook if you’d like to stay connected.

This was an incredibly fascinating conversation with chemist and philosopher Carl Calleman. “The first 25 years of my life were dedicated to solving chemical problems, there came a point in 1992 when a umber of circumstances made me shift and I started to focus on the Mayan calendar” “You cannot understand the evolution of consciousness and the universe without having a background in the Mayan calendar, that is what provides the quantum science of evolution” – 01.40 “If you have a mission you are compelled to do something specific in life, I believe. I had that” - 02.50 “Being in the presence of all these pyramids, it changed something within me” – 04.00 “We humans are at the interface of the macro cosmos and the micro cosmos, we are a product of this interface” – 06.05 “Awareness is the human language to describe consciousness” “All life forms are expressions of that consciousness. Small little bacteria are expressions of that evolution of consciousness” – 07.30 “The mind is not a product of the brain, the mind is something that the brain downloads from the cosmos. That changed the human beings“- 12.05 “The unity state of consciousness became available in 2011” “Its one thing that a state of consciousness becomes available, its another thing to actually access it, to resonate with it, to incorporate it within our mental design and make it part of us” “We to have the intention of downloading it” “I want to emphasise that this is a theory based on empirical evidence, on empirical science” – 22.20 Mayacal is my one-man company dedicated to understanding the nature of consciousness and the cosmic plan. Carl can be contacted via the following: LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/carl-calleman-61a529/ Web - https://calleman.com/ Here is Carl's talk that was shared with me by my good friend Dawna Jones -> https://evolutionarycollective.com/accessing-the-9th-wave-of-evolution-broadcast/ Carl recommends to investigate the work of the Evolutionary Collective and Patricia Albere https://evolutionarycollective.com/patriciaalbere/ You can also find out more about Garry as follows: Web – Sign up for updates at www.hexochangenow.com Email - garry.turner@hexochangenow.com LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/garryturnerstrategicadvisor/ Clubhouse - @vulnerablegarry --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/activatingconsciousness/message

Imagine When the Focus Becomes We Instead of MeAired Friday, March 13, 2020 at 4:00 PM PST / 7:00 PM ESTWhat if your mindfulness, practice, your spirituality focused more on “we” than “me?” What would change? In the episode, we welcome Patricia Albere. Best-selling author, founder, and creator of Evolutionary Relationships and Mutual Awakening. A practice-based on consciously creating a connection between two or more people who mutually commit to explore and develop higher states of perception and awareness. Patricia shares:How to find and transform any committed relationship into a dynamic engine for mutual evolution. The eight activating principles of Mutual Awakening Insights into how this practice enhances your feelings of connection, compassion, and kindness, plus so much more…More about our guest:Patricia Albere is at ground zero of an evolutionary stream of spiritual awakening. Just as meditation can be an opening to a personal awakening, Albere originated the Mutual Awakening Practice – a 21st-century practice that empowers us to enter into new dimensions of relating and expanding consciousness together. One in which we learn to go beyond individual psychology and transformation into a new space of shared unity or mutual awakening. Patricia's work creates a palpable field of shared consciousness and love that reveals the unimagined human potential that can move humanity far beyond the limits of personal growth or self-development and into mutual awakening.She is a recognized visionary, leader, and innovator in the emerging field of inter-subjective awakening and post-personal development. She is the bestselling author of Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening, developed to connect individuals to activate powerful fields of shared consciousness in their ongoing reality. Learn more at: https://evolutionarycollective.com/ Listen to the intriguing interview first on Friday, March 13th at 7 PM ET and later in podcast and videocast.The information provided on UnderstandingAutoimmune.com, Life InterruptedRadio.com, and The Autoimmune Hour are for educational purposes only.Visit the Autoimmune Hour show page https://omtimes.com/iom/shows/autoimmune-hour/Connect with Sharon Sayler at http://lifeinterruptedradio.com/#PatriciaAlbere #EvolutionaryRelationships #TheAutoimmuneHour #SharonSayler

What if your mindfulness, practice, your spirituality focused more on “we” than “me?” What would change? In the episode, we welcome Patricia Albere. Best-selling author, founder, and creator of Evolutionary Relationships and Mutual Awakening. A practice-based on consciously creating a connection between two or more people who mutually commit to explore and develop higher states of perception and awareness. Patricia shares:How to find and transform any committed relationship into a dynamic engine for mutual evolution.The eight activating principles of Mutual AwakeningInsights into how this practice enhances your feelings of connection, compassion, and kindness, plus so much more...More about our guest: Patricia Albere is at ground zero of an evolutionary stream of spiritual awakening. Just as meditation can be an opening to a personal awakening, Albere originated the Mutual Awakening Practice – a 21st-century practice that empowers us to enter into new dimensions of relating and expanding consciousness together. One in which we learn to go beyond individual psychology and transformation into a new space of shared unity or mutual awakening. Patricia's work creates a palpable field of shared consciousness and love that reveals the unimagined human potential that can move humanity far beyond the limits of personal growth or self-development and into mutual awakening.She is a recognized visionary, leader, and innovator in the emerging field of inter-subjective awakening and post-personal development. She is the bestselling author of Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening, developed to connect individuals to activate powerful fields of shared consciousness in their ongoing reality. Learn more at https://evolutionarycollective.com/
Listen to the intriguing interview first on Friday, March 13th at 7 PM ET and later in podcast and videocast at www.UnderstandingAutoimmune.com/Patricia The information provided on UnderstandingAutoimmune.com, Life InterruptedRadio.com, and The Autoimmune Hour are for educational purposes only.

Patricia Albere brings new wisdom about accessing a collective spiritual experience to bring about our awakening and evolution at this time on our world!   Sharing Wisdom: Tapping into a new kind of collective intuition A new, more collective approach to spirituality, the wisdom of the “we” Important prerequisite for accessing this kind of collective intui-tion?     In This Episode You Will Learn New ways of thinking about our awakening and evolution at this time on our world  What is an "evolutionary" relationship Why "we-centered" spirituality is so important at this point in history In Evolutionary Relationships, Patricia Albere draws on more than four decades of teaching work to introduce a new spirituality called “mutual awakening” that you can explore with a friend, lover, spouse, or partner. Learn More About Patricia Albere on the cosmiccoffeebreak.com website

Patricia Albere internationally known contemporary spiritual teacher and author, who is at ground zero of an evolutionary stream of spiritual awakening–one in which we learn to go beyond individual psychology and transformation, into a new space of mutual awakening, or ‘inter-being,’ or ‘we-mysticism’. She’s the author of “Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening,” and the founder and director of the Evolutionary Collective.

Patricia Albere internationally known contemporary spiritual teacher and author of the new book, Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening. She is the founder and director of the Evolutionary Collective and has worked with over 200,000 people in groups in the last 40 years exploring a new field of ‘intersubjective awakening’ and post-personal development. Learn more at www.ConflictHealing.com

Do you ever feel like there’s a barrier between what you know about how to have a good relationship, and what you actually do? How do you take what we know about the science of relationships, combine it with the wisdom of our hearts and our quest for deeper meaning, and integrate it into something practical? Today we’re going to get practical, integrated, and Integral with a return visit from Keith Witt, whose new book Loving Completely: A Five Star Practice for Creating Great Relationships was just released. Keith Witt has conducted more than 55,000 (!!) therapy sessions, and is also often featured on Jeff Salzman’s The Daily Evolver podcast. He is truly gifted at taking the “big picture” and making it useful for a daily lives. Loving Completely is a manual for how to not only set a higher standard for what’s possible in your relationship, but you also get simple steps that get you there. Also, please check out our first two episodes with Keith Witt - Episode 80: Bring Your Shadow into the Light and Episode 13: Resolve Conflict and Create Intimacy through Attunement. As always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Sponsors: Along with our amazing listener supporters (you know who you are - thank you!), this week's episode has two great sponsors, each with a special offer for you. Casper.com provides ultra-comfy mattresses and other products to help you get a restful night’s sleep. You can try out a Casper mattress for 100 nights - and if you’re not completely satisfied return it for a full refund. As a Relationship Alive listener, they are offering you $50 OFF select mattresses - terms and conditions apply. Just visit Casper.com/alive and use the coupon code “ALIVE” at checkout. RxBar.com makes a whole food protein bar that’s super-tasty - Chloe and I almost always have these with us to help us stay nourished on the go. They’re healthy, easy to digest, and have simple ingredients with no added sugar - plus they’re gluten/dairy/soy-free. You can get 25% OFF your first order by visiting RxBar.com/alive and using the coupon code “ALIVE” at checkout. Resources: Check out Keith Witt’s website Read Keith Witt’s new book: Loving Completely: A Five Star Practice for Creating Great Relationships Check out Keith Witt’s other books as well! FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide - perfect help for handling conflict… Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Relationship (ALSO FREE) www.neilsattin.com/completely Visit to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Keith Witt. Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out Transcript: Neil Sattin: Hello and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. We're trying to change culture with this show and I am so appreciative as always of your being here with me to evolve what is actually possible for us in terms of our relationships, and we know more about how to relate with other people than we've ever known before. We know more about the science. We know more about our spirit and how that factors in. We know more about the power of mindfulness. We know more about how our hearts interact with other hearts. It's all taking shape in a way that's very unique, and what we are trying to do here is to not only talk about it, but make it so practical for you so that you can put this stuff into use in your relationship. And so you can talk to other people and say, "Hey, like you're having a hard time, you know, check out this episode on Relationship Alive where you will get your problem solved or see a light at the end of this dark tunnel," that, let's face it, sometimes we're in a dark tunnel in our relationship, it's part of what happens. Neil Sattin: So, I'm overjoyed today to have a returning guest, someone who has been on the show twice, and he's here today to talk about and celebrate really the release of his latest book called Loving Completely. I'm talking about Dr. Keith Witt, who you may know through his appearances on The Daily Evolver or you may have heard him here on Relationship Alive. He was here in Episode 80 where we were talking about shadow and he was also here way back in Episode 13 talking about Attunement and how important that is. So he is back on the show. And we will have a detailed transcript of this episode. If you want to get that, just visit neilsattin.com/completely as in Loving Completely or you can as always text the word Passion to the number 33444 and follow the instructions and we'll send you a link where you can download this transcript, and all our other transcripts and show guides. Neil Sattin: So today, we're going to talk about what it means to love completely, and how that's maybe different than your standard kind of relationship and why it actually helps you deepen and deepen what's possible for you in partnership. I think that's all I have to say for the moment. Keith Witt, it is such a treat as always to have you back here on Relationship Alive. Keith Witt: Great to be with you, Neil. Neil Sattin: So, let's just start there. Loving completely. Now, I know that some of the book is based on a course that you did in the integral world called Loving Completely. Why loving completely? What was the inspiration for you for that title versus just like, How to Have a Kickass Relationship? [chuckle] Keith Witt: That's not a bad title. [chuckle] I've been doing therapy and writing and teaching for 44 years and I have studied dozens of brilliant people. And most people, most researchers, their understanding comes from how they came to establish mastery in their areas of psychotherapy or of understanding. Esther Perel, for instance, worked a lot with couples where people were unfaithful, and so she is oriented according to how sexuality ebbs and flows and manifests and affects relationships in her work. Stan Tatkin came from attachment theory and interpersonal neurobiology and his system is heavily oriented in that direction. John Gottman is a pure social scientist. I mean, the way that he found his wife was he went on 50 dates in 60 days and she was the outlier whom he married. He did it like a science experiment. And so his approach is social science. He uses social science to find what works and doesn't work and so on. Keith Witt: So, everybody comes from their orientation and they're all right. But in Integral Psychology, we say that everybody gets to be right, but nobody gets to be right all the time. And so, most of us who work with couples and individuals have found that people are wildly unique, and people have different languages and understandings that help them love better. And so I was interested in an orienting system, where you could start with basic principles and practices and they could lead you in the direction that you were most open to in terms of helping you grow and transform in your ability to be intimate with the different parts of yourself and be effectively intimate with other people and especially with your chosen partner in a long-term lover relationship. Keith Witt: And so that motivated me. That was a challenge. How do you get oriented in that fashion? And so out of that came the Loving Completely Course and then out of that course came, I wanted to expand the ideas and present a deeper dive into a lot of the constructs and so I wrote the Loving Completely book, which is gonna come out soon, and that's what oriented me in terms of and inspired me in terms of writing this book. Neil Sattin: Yeah, I like that picture of completeness, not only in terms of what it inspires me to think about and how I conduct my relationship, the process of my relationship, but also the willingness to look across the spectrum of what's available to help you that you don't have to be confined just because so and so says that their thing works 85% of the time. If it doesn't work for you, you're not screwed like there are other options for you that might be effective for you. And so there's that completeness of like, "Oh, the whole world is available for me to actually help me get this. Get this right." Keith Witt: Yes, and we live in an age where there's a cornucopia of great knowledge available to us and especially around intimacy and around relationships. And so let me explain. I'm gonna talk mostly about a committed intimate relationship like a marriage, a long-term love affair, and so on, though these principles apply to lots of relationships, parental relationships, sibling relationship, friend relationships, and so on. But a relationship of marriage is basically a friendship, a love affair, a capacity to notice and repair injuries and ruptures, and a mutual commitment to each other's evolution. If those four components are attended to on a daily basis, couples tend to do well. If one of those lapses in some fashion, suffering occurs and suffering in relationship tends to spiral into separation. And this is one of the reasons why half the marriages end in divorce. Keith Witt: And so that's a great picture of a good relationship, but how do we do that? How do we establish that? And just like any area of mastery, what you do is you pick a goal, you get ignited. I wanna have great relationships. You find data and information and master coaching in the world, and then you break it up into chunks and you do focus practice on those chunks and with a growth mindset of effort and progress is what matters. We're not trying to get anywhere, we're just trying to have effort and progress. You gradually can establish mastery in this area of loving, loving another person, helping another person love you and... Go on. Neil Sattin: Yeah. And so a couple of things are coming up for me right now. One is, we're talking here, we're on a show where we are focused about, we're coming from a growth mindset. And I can't tell you how many times I read something or I have this conversation with you or someone like you and I have that light bulb moment of like, "Oh right, this is how I've been seeing it, and I could be open to a different perspective here and that actually might serve me a lot better." So let's just start with maybe the hardest question which a lot of people who listen to the show are gonna be asking which is like, "Alright, you said growth mindset. And now, I just know that this ain't happening because my partner, like that's the problem, they don't have a growth mindset, and they're fixed and they're shut down. And I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying." I know, in the 65,000 or more sessions you've done with people, you've come up against this with couples and I'm curious to know how you help inspire both people in a moment like this. Keith Witt: A human super power is our ability to receive caring influence. That is a super power. And it's more difficult than it sounds. Receiving caring influence means that you allow yourself to change how you think and what you do in response to someone else trying to help. Now, when people get threatened, when people feel insecure, when they feel unsafe, their nervous systems get more rigid. Your slower thinking frontal cortex gets inhibited and your faster thinking brainstem takes charge. And one of the ways to take charge is it resists receiving influence. And so if you have a partner that is resisting receiving influence, it probably means that in a particular level they feel unsafe. Keith Witt: And so when someone comes in or a couple comes in, part of my job is to help that first person feel safe. And generally the way that I help people feel safe is through compassionate understanding. I know that at the core of everyone, there is a little interface between them and spirit. Patricia Albere in the evolutionary collective calls that the origin point, in the traditions she called that out man's soul, that kind of thing. That's how I identify people. And so, my job is to connect with that spot in them and then help them feel understood by me. And as we go into that understanding, we find a place where they feel threatened, where they resist influence. And the place where you resist influence and you feel threatened is also the place where you're yearning for something, you're yearning for love, you're yearning for security, you're yearning for passion, you're yearning to be known deeply. Keith Witt: And as I help someone feel safe and as I help them understand their yearning, we can begin to open up a little bit to how those yearnings can be met in their relationship. They can be met by their partner, and I can help their partner help this other person feel safe. By the very act of coming to a therapist, people have gone to an environment where they've acknowledged, "We can't help each other feel safe enough to change, we need somebody else to provide a little bit more safety." And so that's a central part of what therapists do. Now, does that work all the time? Nothing works all the time. Does it work a lot? Yeah, it does. And if your partner seems impenetrable, then what you wanna do is you wanna say, "Well, look, let's get some help. Let's find somebody that you trust and let's get them to help us love each other better. Let's get them to help us be more connected." Keith Witt: And you take a stand for that. And if your partner can't do it, you go get help and then that person helps you encourage your partner to get help. And so that's how it goes. Usually that ends up with both people getting into therapy, but not always. And frankly, it's just a bad sign. If somebody is having problems and refuses therapy, that predicts marital dissolution pretty reliably in a lot of cases, and that's just the way it works. If you take a rigid position, particularly in the 21st century with your partner, and refuse to work on things that are disturbing to them, that will separate you and those separations get worse, they don't get better. So those are the ruptures and repairs that are so important. They need to be repaired. And they're repaired when we're making that condition better, when we're working at loving each other better. Neil Sattin: Yeah. And this, I think, is so important because it's tempting, especially as you read a lot of, let's just say, self-help books about relationship which you might be doing if there are some issues going on or you might be doing even if you're like, "I just wanna know how to do this better," and kudos to you if that's what you're doing. Keith's book is great for that. It can be tempting to think like, "Okay, well, I'm gonna go into this with my partner like a therapist would. Like now I'm armed with all this new knowledge and I'm gonna bring it into my relationship." Neil Sattin: And to some level, I think that is helpful, but what I'm hearing from you that I think is so key for people to get is that the real gem that happens in a good therapy, in a good therapeutic setting, is creating that safety and being seen without judgment, being seen with compassion, and from that everything else can grow. I would think that it's rare that someone comes in, and you're not just instructing them, right? I mean I sure don't. In my coaching practice, we're not saying, "You're doing this wrong, you're doing relationship wrong, so let me just tell you how to do it right, and then you're all set, you're then free to go." Keith Witt: Yeah. Well, that would be great [chuckle] if it worked. You know, when I wrote a book on Integral Psychotherapy called Waking Up and in that I said what an integral psychotherapist does is relate, teach, inspire, confront, interpret, and direct and relating is first. If someone is open to learning a new perspective, they're open to receiving influence, in other words they get influenced to change what they think and do. A lot of therapy is just getting 80% of therapy is getting to the point where someone feels safe enough to be willing to do that. And, yes, we don't do that with our partners. I have two kids, they're grown 33 and 30, and wife, and I don't give them any input unless they ask specifically for it. And the reason why I've done that is because I realized as our family was developing that I didn't have a contract with them, like I did with my clients, and that actually interfered with our relationship if I offered input that wasn't requested or welcomed. Keith Witt: And so I'm way more conservative when it comes to my opinions or my observations with my own family. Why? Because I'm not there primarily to enlighten them or to help them, I'm there to support the intersubjectivity of our relationships. I'm there to support our love for each other. And supporting our love for each other means having this relationship on a psychological spiritual level, we're experiencing ourselves as having equal power, equal credibility, equal say in the important aspects of our life around money, sex, parenting, time, that kind of stuff. And then all that stuff needs to be negotiated in a dialectic. And the dialectic is two people looking for deeper truth, respecting each other, open to each other, as influence, and acknowledging their individual rights. And that's called a growth hierarchy. Keith Witt: It's a power hierarchy but it doesn't look like a power hierarchy because when people are going back and forth in that environment, you're not noticing how one person has a little more credibility, a little more power than the other person does because there's a flow back and forth in the integral cosmology, that's called the second tier. That's a particular kind of relating. Now, when people get threatened, they go into dominator hierarchies. You stop receiving influence and you're trying to bully the other person or convince the other person or submit even to the other person. That dominator hierarchy can get something done, but it contaminates a relationship. And an awful lot of work, whether therapist know it or not, when they're working with couples is noticing that shift in the dominator hierarchies, and then interrupting it and encouraging couples to go back into growth hierarchies where they're looking for deeper truth, more open to influence, being respectful, allowing each other individual rights. Keith Witt: And just that, just paying attention. And that can transform your whole relational universe. Particularly, you can transform a universe relating to other people because once you start noticing those things you see growth hierarchies and dominator hierarchies everywhere. And if you have a moral sense of standing for growth hierarchies, that means that whenever you're around you wanna generate them. And if there's a dominator hierarchy happening, you wanna start working to shift that into a growth hierarchy. Nowhere is that more important than in your end of the relationship. Neil Sattin: Yeah, and this is something that comes up a lot actually in our Facebook group and just because we're here. I'm curious of your perspective on this. A lot of my listeners have actually been married and gotten divorced, and now they're working on their next big love, let's say. And so, of course, that introduces all kinds of other dynamics with former partners, their new partners, and that's a situation that's ripe for power struggles and dominator hierarchies to emerge. So, I'm curious like if you're a growth-oriented person and you're just getting hammered by a dominator, what's a good pathway through to navigate through that, that you might offer someone? Keith Witt: Well, first of all, that is the... Particularly for educated people in this country, generally they go through at least two major intimate relationships, sometimes more. I was a hippie back in the '60s and '70s, so I had a three-year relationship where we didn't get married but essentially it was the first marriage. So that's very common. And when there's children and in-laws, you are bringing other people in and other responsibilities. Stan Tatkin says, calls it The Rule of Thirds. And he makes a point that I agree with. Yes, there's a lot of added complexity that comes when people have a second or third serious relationship, but that is simplified if you recognize the primacy of the intimate bond. The primacy, there's a reason that they call it a primary relationship, and that primary relationship is we wanna maintain this container in integrity, we wanna have this container be as clean and as pure and as beautiful as possible, and that means our friendship, our love affair, our capacity to heal injuries, and our commitment to mutual evolution comes first. And then everything else gets organized around that. Keith Witt: What that does is it gets you oriented in terms of other demands, say there's an ex-spouse that is aggressive, this happens sometimes. Or punitive, people get angry after a separation, and often separations are expensive, and they're difficult, and people are more egocentric and distressed cells will come out and then they don't have much contact with each other, which makes it easier to objectify each other and see each other in negative black and white terms. Well, that's not good for anybody. It's particularly not good for children. Children of the divorce who have parents who are acrimonious with each other do worse. They have more symptoms and they have more problems. And so you don't wanna encourage that. You wanna discourage that. How do you do that? Keith Witt: Well, there's two of general ways of dealing with other people. There's what you and I are doing now, which is relating. Relating is we're just telling our truth, we're respecting each other, we got individual rights, and we're both open to caring influence. You tell me something that's a better idea than something I got. I'll change my idea and change how I think in what I do. That's relating and relating is a superior way of being. But say, somebody can't relate. Well, then you handle them. And how do you handle them? You handle them so that they can't successfully dominate in a dominator hierarchy and you make it easier for them to relate. For instance, you set boundaries. So this happens all the time, when one ex-spouse wants special privileges and comes to feel entitled to it because the other person just tries to say yes rather than thinks in a larger sense about what's gonna make this a more coherent relationship. Keith Witt: So then what you do is you start setting boundaries around whatever the dissolution agreement was. You don't say yes unnecessarily. And if someone is acting in a disrespectful fashion, you disengage. You set a boundary. Okay. So over time, this influences the other person to be more respectful. It's very much like parenting a child. And it's similar because when people are in defensive states, basically they've regressed to child ego states. And so you don't have to be... You can be respectful, but you need to be firm. I'm respectful of my four-year-old who doesn't wanna get in the car and go to the dentist, but I am firm. You're gonna have to get in the car and go to the dentist and that's all there's to it. So, respectfully, get in the car, we're going to the dentist. [chuckle] Neil Sattin: You spoke in Loving Completely. And I wanna dive more into the meat of the matter here momentarily. You spoke about your commitment to more and more interacting with the world from a place of loving kindness and compassion. Keith Witt: Yes. Neil Sattin: And even then, you mentioned that there are some relationships and connections that you've had to let go of. Keith Witt: Yes. Neil Sattin: And I'm curious for you, what does that barometer like in terms of you knowing like, "Okay, I guess I've done all I can do here," versus like, "You know what? I'm gonna keep trying. I have faith in this particular container that it will ultimately yield to the power of a growth mindset and relating. Keith Witt: Well, first of all, it of course depends on the nature of the relationship. You know, loving-kindness is a practice. And we can all do it now because it's a wonderful practice to get yourself into a place where you are available to engage in a mature and healthy activity, and here's how you do it. You imagine some other person. So I'm imagining you right now and then I am reaching out from my heart, to your heart, and in my mind, I'm saying to myself from my heart to your heart, "May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you have an easeful life." And as I do that, I am changing my state. Now, if I do that with... If you're my lover and I do that when we are in conflict, my defensive state, because I'm in, we are in conflict, all communication is complimentary, we're probably both in defensive states that are self-amplifying which is by defensive states we are so dangerous as couples. What I'm doing is I am now shifting into another state of consciousness where instead of allowing my nervous system to relate to you as an unsafe person, that I am objectifying to a certain extent. Keith Witt: Now, I'm relating to you as someone I care about and that shifts my state. Now, as I do that, if we're around each other and you can see into my eyes, or hear my voice, your state begins to shift out of defensive state into a state of healthy response to the present moment. And so loving-kindness meditation is a wonderful practice to learn how to do when you're stressed because it shifts your state into an area where you have access to your frontal lobes, you have access to your deep wisdom and you're regulating your defensive states into your more mature and more powerful states of conscious awareness and compassionate understanding. Keith Witt: And I encourage everybody who's listening to do it at this moment. Imagine somebody, you can imagine me if you want, I'd take all the loving-kindness that the... [chuckle] people could give, your heart to that person's heart. And in your mind, say, "May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you have an easeful life." And see how it feels. Interestingly, when people did this meditation, they had anti-inflammatory genes activated in their bodies and antiviral genes activated in their bodies that this meditation made their immune systems more robust, by shifting the myelinazation patterns of their genetic expression. That's how powerful this is. Neil Sattin: Well, well, and... Yeah, I'm just struck by that like we talk about our anger being inflamed and how interesting that anti-inflammatory actions take place when we go into a place of loving-kindness like that. Keith Witt: It's amazing. Neil Sattin: And I'm thinking too about my own experience with Chloe and we're doing really well together. Not that we haven't had our challenges and despite doing really, really well together when something happens and one of us goes to that defensive state and we both end up there even... I guess what I'm saying is, even in the best of relationships, and you talk about this with Becky as well, it can be such a challenge, such an effort to even utter within, oh, you know, much less saying it out loud to your partner, if you happen to be in their presence. But within like, "May you be safe, may you be loved." I think if you're thinking back to a time when you had an argument with your partner, you'll get what I'm talking about that, it's like the last thing you wanna do. Keith Witt: That's right. Neil Sattin: And yet it has so much power if you can somehow do it. Keith Witt: Yeah. What helps me with this is understanding that those defensive states that you enter when you're mad at each other, those were evolutionary milestones for the human species. And most of our brain is designed to relate with other people and there's a lot of good evidence that one of the reasons that brain size expanded about two million, three million years ago is because the level of complexity in human groups went up, and we needed to have more brain power to be able to relate with each other. And in those primitive tribes, there were social organizations just like there are in primate groups and that meant when there was a problem that couldn't be resolved cooperatively people went into dominance displays because the dominance hierarchies are what maintained the social fabric. Keith Witt: And what they would do, they were programmed to do genetically is to raise their emotional intensity to intimidate the other person into taking an inferior place or the dominance hierarchy or to have you submit in a way that would happen before physical violence could take place, which would maintain the integrity of the social structure and protect people from hurting each other because evolutionarily speaking, the biggest threat to humans, for the last couple of million years, have been other humans. Keith Witt: Now, what modern consciousness is brought to bear is way more powerful ways of dealing with conflict, way more sophisticated ways. And so when those defensive states are activated if I know that if I can engage in collaborative, two men in problem solving with this person, what that does is it opens up a possibility for this moment to enhance our personal evolution, this moment to make our love deeper, to support our friendship and our love affair. If I know that, if I can just have the faintest memory of that, then I can start working at soothing myself and soothing you and inviting you into that process to create that container of that dialectic. That container of mutual respect and individual rights and looking for a deeper truth and receiving influence. And when we do that a hundred times or a thousand times and discover how well it works, how it creates these miracles of consciousness, then what we've done is we've taken those primitive impulses and we've included and transcended them in the more sophisticated influences. Keith Witt: And you know in our last talk, I talked about how what we're actually doing is growing our shadow selves. We're growing our unconscious. Our unconscious becomes more complex and it regulates outside of our awareness so that it gets easier and easier to reach for these better states. Now, every once in a while, we get triggered usually from a trauma memory and bam, here comes the defensive state, it happens in 60 milliseconds. We have amplified our numb emotions, distorted perspective, destructive impulses, and diminish capacities for empathy and self-reflection like that. But if you can learn to self-observe that, what you end up doing is instead of trusting all that stuff, trusting that distorted perspective, trusting those destructive impulses, going along with that lack of self-reflection and empathy and say, "No, no, I'm actually in a disadvantage state now I need to reach for something that is more powerful," like compassionate understanding that provides the impetus interiorly to do that for yourself. And then when you are doing that for yourself, you're non-verbally and verbally encouraging your partner to do the same. Neil Sattin: Yeah. Keith Witt: And this... Neil Sattin: May I offer just a quick example of that? Keith Witt: Sure. Neil Sattin: So just the other night, I was with Chloe and we were talking about something, she was going to cover for me for something, and she made a comment like, "This is actually the last thing I wanna do, it sounds horrible to me, but I'm gonna do it but it sounds horrible." And I immediately went into like, she's being negative about this thing and I don't even want you to do it anyway, if it's gonna be horrible for you. So we started spiraling down this place and it was kinda late at night, so we weren't in our... There's not a lot of will power left at the... Keith Witt: That's right. Oh no. Neil Sattin: At the end of the day to actually steer yourself back. But fortunately I'd been reading your book and so I turned to her and I said, "Help me, help me help you, what I'm hearing you say that this is horrible. And it sounds like hell and I don't know what you need from me right now, what I can see is that I'm just going into this place where I am polarizing or where I somehow wanna change you or change your experience, but I clearly that's not working 'cause you're just getting more and more angry at me, and I'm getting more angry at you. Like what do you need?" And you know, to prove your point, Keith and this was just so hilarious to me in the moment, she looked at me and her eyes were big and wide, and she just said, "I need your compassion. I need you to understand that, yes, of course, I'm gonna do this for you, I love you, and it's not... It wouldn't be my first choice to do this thing and I just need you to hear me and to acknowledge me and to be compassionate." Neil Sattin: So that was the first thing that was like, "Oh okay, right." And so, of course, I'm thinking like I know this and of course I know this, like I've... 'cause we've done this a million times, but here we were in this space of conflict. And so then I started thinking, like, "Well, I know that the key right now is to be compassionate and I've even done it before, but right now, I can't for some reason, I really can't." And so I asked myself like, "Why, why can't I be compassionate right now?" And I had this huge realization about my own earlier experiences with being confronted with, I had an idea about something and just to keep it somewhat vague like let's say a family member would have shit on my idea or say like, "No Like that. We're not gonna do that." Neil Sattin: And so for me, I had to develop a pretty strong defense to that kind of what I perceived as negative energy, or a negative attack, and so my choice was never to meet that with compassion. I didn't... No one instructed me on how to do that as a kid, so I was just like kind of shoring myself up and figuring like, "Okay, how do I turn a negative into a positive, how do I... " It's like I had Martin Seligman in my back pocket like... Keith Witt: There you go. Neil Sattin: And which was good for me, in some level, but in this situation with Chloe, there was no like saying, "Hey, let's turn those lemons into lemonade." Like that wasn't what she needed in that moment. And as soon as I realized that and I shared that with her, "Oh wow, I'm realizing that you need compassion, and I can't do it and it's because I just have this defense against being... Like I've never learned how to be compassionate, what I've learned how to do is to try to look on the bright side or try to make things not as bad. And for us, it was this huge moment of understanding that just softened everything and next thing you knew, we were singing to each other and making peace with each other instead of making war. Keith Witt: Well, I just love that story. You know what? When a couple comes in with the story like that, there's part of me that goes, "Mm-hmm. My work here is done." [laughter] You notice what you did, you went into vulnerability as power which you can do with her because she is a sophisticated enough partner to see that and to be moved by it and then you went into the real issue. The real issue is us, our container. And to go there, I have to go essentially into my trauma history to find out why I had this reaction, that's more rigid than I'm used to. It's more amplified than I'm used to. And yes, that it always comes from previous learning, often it comes from a family of origin. And when you understand that the problem right now was a solution, it's often a brilliant solution 40 years ago, but now it's not adequate because I'm in a relationship where I can actually go into deeper love from this place, which was not available then, I'd rather go into deeper love. Keith Witt: And that's what you guys did and you were focusing on the real issue, which is we need to... There is a rupture in our container, in our intersubjective container, we need to heal that. And we know that we've healed it when we feel that sense of loving connection. When you're repairing, yes, you wanna validate the other person and, yes, the other person wants to feel understood. And you wanna feel understood. And you wanna take a little bit of action to solve the problem. Those are all important parts of repair. Yeah, you wanna accept that that's not gonna solve the whole problem but it will solve a piece of it but at the very end of it, there needs to be loving connection. If you don't have that loving connection, you haven't repaired it yet. And you only know that when you both feel it at the same time and everybody who has done that, which is almost all of us, knows what that feels like. And that needs to be the standard. That is always the standard to get back to love. Neil Sattin: Yeah, yeah. There's this little song. I don't know who the source of it is but Chloe learned it recently and it's become our latest practice at the end of conflict. Not that conflict's happening all the time, but just as a reminder and a recognition of having gotten back to love. And can I sing it? Can I share? Keith Witt: Oh please, I was gonna ask you to sing it. Sing it. Neil Sattin: So it goes like this. "I behold you beautiful one. I behold you child of the Earth and sun. Let my love wash over you. Let my love watch over you." That's it. Keith Witt: That's beautiful. Neil Sattin: Yeah. So for us that... And actually I find myself when I'm still stewing I can sing that to her in my mind. And that also helps like, "Okay, I'm coming back now." I can remember that the whole reason we're here is because we love each other and because our love is ever deepening and we've had that experience. So that also helps me come back to the table and get back to love with her. Keith Witt: When you sing that song inside you, when you're with her, you're doing loving-kindness meditation. Neil Sattin: Yes. Keith Witt: That's another form of loving-kindness meditation. Neil Sattin: Yes, exactly. So, Keith, let's shift gears just a little bit because I wanna give you a chance to paint the picture. You created a beautiful scaffolding around which Loving Completely is built and you call it The Five Star Practice. And there are these five questions that people can ask themselves about themselves and about their partner to help direct their attention to the elements that create an amazing thriving relationship. And you talk about how it came up in a conversation with your kids around like what to look for in a good partner and how that has become this lens through which you can... These questions have become a lens through which you can look at any relationship and see what's going well, what's not, where you might need to adjust your habits. And so could we go through those five star questions? Keith Witt: Sure. Neil Sattin: So people get a sense of what we're talking about. Keith Witt: Yes. The genesis of this was in a conversation with my two teenage kids in the kitchen, of them asking, How do I choose somebody? And anybody who's done therapy realizes that at certain points in your life you open up and something comes through, you become a channel. And so those five questions came out. And as a scientist, I'm always a little uncomfortable with stuff like that because, yes, we can see it as an unconscious download, but it always feels like you're connected to something larger. And the interesting thing about that is that they really haven't changed that much over the years. It's been 15 years or so. And they've been cross-validated again, and again, and again, and again with neuroscience and social science and so on. And so I'll tell you the five questions but I'll tell you the reason for the questions and I'll tell you the foundation of the questions. Keith Witt: The foundation is compassionate self and other observation. Loving-kindness meditation does that, attunement, paying attention with acceptance and caring intent to what you're sensing, feeling, thinking, judging, and wanting. Paying attention with acceptance and caring intent, what your partner might be sensing, feeling, thinking, judging, and wanting. That's the foundation, compassionate self and other observation. Now, if you can establish that, and however way you do it, if you ask yourself these questions, you're basically, when you ask yourself a question, you're opening up to your unconscious. Keith Witt: So the questions are first, is there erotic polarity between me and this other person? Is there a spark between their feminine and my masculine? Because when we are looking for a partner, or when we were maintaining a relationship, part of that is the love affair. That love affair is a big deal, and that love affair is based on a spark between two poles, between the masculine in one person and the feminine in the other. Now we have energetic polarities between ourselves and everything and everybody. You have an energetic polarity when you look at a sunset, or when you're telling your daughter good night, I love you. But you have a certain kind of erotic polarity, has a sexual feel, between you as a masculine or feminine person and another person as a masculine and feminine person, and we're adjusting those all the time. Keith Witt: And so that's one question, Is there a spark of erotic polarity between me and this other person? The second question is, Does this person maintain their physical and psychological health? Doesn't mean they have to be super healthy, it just means they're responsible for their physical and psychological health, and if there's a problem they'll take care of it. Third question is, If I'm in a relationship with this person or if I am and there's conflict, would they be able and willing to do what it takes to get back to love? We've been talking about repair, you and I, and that's a central skill in intimate relationships. A fourth question is, Would this person show up appropriately for a child or a family member? Appropriately is not co-dependently, appropriately is there's a lot of things that are appropriate, but will they show up in a healthy fashion for a child or a family member? And the fifth one is, Does this person have something larger than themselves, something sacred that they're committed to? And do they feel a sense of respect, even admiration, or would they feel that for what's sacred to me? Keith Witt: So those are a lot of questions but if you pay attention to those five dimensions about other people, after a while they become like new sense organs and you just notice these things. You'll pull up to somebody... You're sitting down next to somebody in a restaurant, you look over and you go, "I bet that person would be a good parent." Or you see somebody, you go, "Hmm, I feel a spark of erotic polarity with this person." Or you look at that person, you go, "I don't think that person maintains their physical health very well." Or they do. They become things that you notice like people's clothes and eye color. And if you notice them about other people, it makes it easier to notice them about yourself. And these are not absolute questions. In relationships, we go moment to moment to moment to moment. And so they're dimensions that keep shifting. I can be engaged in a healthy behavior in one moment, and then all of a sudden I'm reaching for the doughnut and I'm engaging in an unhealthy behavior. And now what am I gonna do about that? Keith Witt: Am I gonna adjust towards health or am I going to eat the doughnut then eat another doughnut? If I do that as a habit, then I'm not maintaining my physical health, for instance. And in relationships, we're always kind of adjusting... When I was talking earlier about being in growth power hierarchies, and then adjusting from dominator hierarchies to growth hierarchies, that's attending on a moment to moment, and these five dimensions are ways of adjusting. Am I showing up appropriately for my son? Am I expressing admiration and respect for what my wife finds deeply meaningful? And if I'm evaluating a partner, does this person do these things? And if the answer to even one of these is no, then there's gonna be problems. That doesn't mean you don't get in a relationship, but what it does mean is you have a conversation about it. Keith Witt: And if you can ask yourself these questions about yourself and other people, what that does is it opens you up to have these be continua that you can discuss, they make them talkaboutable in relationship. And one of the big problems that couples have is they have one set of agreements on top that they usually hear in their marriage vows, and a whole different set of agreements below the surface that never get discussed until a problem comes up. You know, a great one is, I promise to be faithful for you. That's a public agreement. And then, the private one, unless I have an opportunity to have great sex with somebody else and I have this conviction that you'll never find out about it. Neil Sattin: [chuckle] Right. Keith Witt: Yeah. Well. If that agreement, if that private agreement is examined by me and discussed with you, I'm less vulnerable to have that happen. Number one predictor of affairs is opportunity and people have an opportunity and they're not prepared because these things have not been talkaboutable with another person. That's one of the reasons I have two or three chapters on affairs and what to do about affairs in Loving Completely. Even if you never had an affair or if your partner has never had an affair, it's useful to understand the dynamics of affairs because those dynamics affect everybody, and if we're aware of those dynamics, awareness regulates. And so being more woken up and more aware helps prepare us. Now, this is my bias, my bias is I like to understand everything, that's why I like Integral Studies. Integral Theory is a meta-theory that has a lot of theories inside it. Keith Witt: And other people don't particularly like to grow in that fashion. But if there's one approach that speaks to you around any of these, okay, you can just dive into that approach. But you don't dive into the approach unless you realize it's something that needs attention. And asking yourself these questions about yourself and your partner and having them be modes of discourse between you and your partner, if some problem does happen in intersubjectivity, if there is a problem in your friendship, your love affair, your ability to receive influence or support of each other's personal evolution and collective evolution, it's more likely to come out and now you have a language to discuss it and to resolve it, and you have a growth mindset to make it better. And you have an orientation, we wanna turn this into deeper love and compassionate understanding of each other. And that's what creates the great relationships. Neil Sattin: Right. I love hearing someone saying, "Oh, I just started seeing this person and we decided to start going to therapy together so that we were getting support." Or, "I just got together... " Actually I just had this happen with someone who said, "I just started this relationship... " And they had actually purchased the course that Chloe and I put together called Thriving intimacy. Keith Witt: Great. Neil Sattin: For a previous relationship, and they said, "We're starting off doing the course together." And I love hearing that because not only are they skill building, but yeah, they're creating that common dialogue of common vocabulary, a way to talk about things. And I think one of the biggest challenges is especially around those things that are scary like someone for instance saying, "I don't know if I have what it takes to be faithful." Wow, what a scary conversation to have with your partner. So any framework that you have that gives you the ability to talk about that and to keep each other safe in that conversation is so powerful and important for helping you strengthen rather than repeatingly shying away from those kinds of topics. Keith Witt: Yes. And it's hard to talk about difficult things. You get easily threatened. And those defensive states show up. And if you're not aware, if you can't see those defensive states, then you tend to have those downward spirals that you talked about. But if you're aware of them, and you adjust back into those dialectics, those states of healthy response in the ways we've been discussing, then you can sustain the conversations. People, if they have a bad time, will tend to avoid the conversation. There's one study that showed if a guy initiated sex with his partner and she said no once, there was a certain number of guys that never initiated again. That one negative experience was enough to close down that conversation. Neil Sattin: Wow. Keith Witt: That's really a bad thing in intimacy. You want your intimacy to be marked by more and more things being talkaboutable, not less and less, not fewer and fewer things. Neil Sattin: Yeah, I love that. Talkaboutable. I think I'm gonna start using that. That... Keith Witt: There you go. Neil Sattin: Phrase. Yeah, it's a good one. Keith Witt: My gift to you. Neil Sattin: Thank you, thank you. One last thing, and we could talk about this forever. Obviously, I think every time you've been on the show we've spoken for quite a while and there's so much to digest here, and I do encourage you to, if you haven't heard the first two episodes that Keith and I did together, definitely go check them out. Episode 13, Episode 80. And there's so much in your book. I'm really excited for it to be out because it encapsulates so much. And as you mentioned, there are a couple of chapters on affairs. As I read through it, I was like holy mackerel. There's a couple of chapters on just about everything. Which isn't to say that it's this long slog of a read, you're actually a very entertaining and engaging writer, which I really appreciate. Keith Witt: Thank you. Neil Sattin: But there's a lot here for you to get that different growth oriented integrally informed perspective on all these different facets of relationship. What I'm curious about, from your perspective, Keith, is this is something that we've been touching on. And we touched on it in the dimension of... And I even had my own confession here. Yeah, I know I'm supposed to get compassionate right now, but I can't fucking do it. [chuckle] There's so much that we are learning about how to have better relationships and yet it requires us to change what we habitually do. It requires us to not just hear it and be like, "Yeah, that's awesome." And maybe to not even just tell our partner about it, but it requires us to actually shift the way that we behave and to follow through on that over and over again, especially because sometimes the initial shift doesn't yield the results that we are hoping for. Neil Sattin: So it's like, you gotta stick with it. You talk in the book about mastery, and that initial like you learn a lot and then you have this plateau and it takes a lot of effort to get through that plateau to the place where you have another growth spike. So I'm curious, if I'm listening to the show and saying, "Alright, this stuff sounds great, it sounds really great. In fact, it's amazing." What do I do to remember it tomorrow so that I actually can put this thing into practice tomorrow? Keith Witt: First of all, do the loving-kindness meditation a lot. The more irritated I am with somebody, the more of a positive impact on me the loving-kindness meditation has. And so that's kind of the first place I go when I get pissed off at somebody and I gotta tell you, I've been doing it quite a lot the last year and a half in that state. And the other thing is to ask those five questions, ask them all the time, not just with your partner but with everybody. Ask... Notice them in yourself. Am I... How am I doing with these five questions? And just to get information. Just to have... Do it from a perspective of compassionate understanding. I wanna understand, and by asking those questions your unconscious will give you answers. And as that happens, you're strengthening that perception, that perceptual capacity to notice these things and to be interested in these things and to be able to discuss these things. Keith Witt: Now, why is this super important? None of us exist independent of everybody else. So we have our history and we have all the cultures that we were in, embedded in our personalities and in our relationships. An American culture has, over the last hundred years, has gradually been waking up. Psychotherapy and psychology has influenced it to some extent. And in the 21st century, more and more psychotherapists are recognizing that psychotherapy is not primarily about identifying psychopathology and treating it like an infection. Psychotherapy is about supporting people's development, relationally, individually, it's about supporting people's personal evolution, supporting people being healthy and happy, and having coherent lives and growing. Keith Witt: And then along the way, there's blocks and problems that are natural functions of being human beings. And that those are difficult. The human nervous system, once it establishes a defensive pattern, doesn't want to give it up. That pattern has to be included and transcended in a more complex pattern and that requires conscious effort on our part. And ideally, these things would be taught from birth onward, but they're not. So what we do is we start whenever we start and learn things and do our best to implement them. And receiving influence from carrying other people is a super power as I said in the beginning. And particularly from our partner. Now hostile influence is not caring influence. If somebody wants to dominate me, and I'm influenced to submit, that doesn't do us any good relationally, okay? Keith Witt: But someone influencing me when I'm being pissed off, inviting me into a growth hierarchy with them, inviting me into mutual understanding, and if I can receive that influence and do it, then we've taken our relationship at that moment to a greater level of complexity. Like you and Chloe did in the example that you gave. Okay, we wanna do that, we wanna get better at that throughout our lifetime, and we want to teach our children how to do it. And with our partner, we wanna help our partner do it and generally insist on partners who are willing to grow with us. They don't have to be as deep as we are in any developmental line, but if they're willing to grow in any of the significant lines of development, the psychosocial, the sexual, the moral line, and so on, we can continue to get more loving and more complex and human development goes in the direction of more compassion, more deeper understanding, deeper consciousness. Keith Witt: And with couples, it goes to having a more and more special intersubjectivity. And that intersubjectivity is beautiful and powerful and really the most powerful and delicate relationship that's ever existed is a modern marriage where people can maintain this container, this friendship and love affair and repair of injuries and support each other's evolution. It's the developmental driver. As you begin to do that with someone, you value it, you get a little bit protective of it. It's easier to not let outside influences screw it up and it's easier to adjust when you have primitive incursions from your trauma history or from your early learning. Neil Sattin: I have a question. How do you... Can you give me an example of this is the moment to exercise my power to receive caring influence? And I know I sort of offered one with Chloe, but I'm curious how would that... When does that typically arise for a couple so that they're like, "Oh this is the perfect time. Caring influence is available for me. Let me receive." How would I identify that. Keith Witt: Great example. You're having a conversation with your partner. I've had this happen with Becky many times. She'll say something. I don't know. She'll make a comment about taking care of somebody. She errs on the side of co-dependence occasionally. And I'll go, "Cheese." Just like that. Really? You're gonna take care of that person? Now you can hear the contempt in my voice, right? Now at that point, if I'm looking at her, I see a wave of pain go across her face. And she'll... These days, she'll say, "Geez, that was kind of a nasty tone." Now, 40 years ago, I would have said, "Well, yeah, yeah, well, you're thinking of doing a really stupid thing. That's why I used a nasty tone." Okay, well, I learned from bitter experience that that really wasn't a very good response to that. That was a stupid response 'cause it just made things worse. Keith Witt: So what I'll do is go, "Yeah, she's right." And I'll go, "I'm sorry. I know if I think it's a bad idea I use the dismissive tone, and I apologize. I am worried that you're gonna do something that will hurt you, that might not be appropriate to do, and so I got contemptuous, I apologize." I received influence. I changed what I thought and how I did. Neil Sattin: Got it. Keith Witt: Now she, on the other hand, was not caught up in the fact that I used a contemptuous tone 30 seconds earlier. She could have been. She could have said, "Well, you said that. And used that nasty tone. Screw you." "Well, I'm sorry I used a nasty tone." "It's too late." People will say that, it's too late. Well, it needs to not be too late. If your partner is doing their best to shift. And so all Becky will do is go, "Thanks, I appreciate it, and I'll do my best to not be codependent with this person." She'll receive influence from me then. Okay? It's is as simple as that. If you just do it on the level of tones. Is my tone communicating respect and care? If it's not, I'm sorry. By definition, I'm sorry. It's not like, "Oh yeah, I'm sorry, unless you deserve it." Keith Witt: No, nobody deserves a contemptuous tone. I'm a martial artist. I studied karate and lots of other martial arts for decades. You know, the only time that you do violence to another person is in a street fight, and then you do it respectfully. The other person really could care less whether you're being respectful when you're breaking their arm, but you know that you're doing it respectfully. Every other situation, setting boundaries, we talked about earlier, telling somebody you need to stop doing that 'cause that's hurting. All of that can be done respectfully. That's the standard. And once we embrace that standard, which is basically a nonviolent standard, it's not a passive standard, it's a nonviolent standard. It organizes us whenever we have a little bit of violence of tone or deed or thought or so on, to say, "Yeah, that was violent, I apologize." And that... Noticing that in itself, and then making that adjustment changes everything. Neil Sattin: Yeah, yeah, and following on the question before I'm listening and I'm saying, "Okay, I want, I need to remember to do that tomorrow, I need to remember to do that tomorrow." Like on this core level of recognizing, okay, I have a habit of not doing that and I realize we probably don't have time right now to go into a whole conversation about how to change habits, but what would be the first step that someone could take to ensure that, okay, I'm not gonna just do tomorrow what I habitually do. I'm gonna maintain my awareness of some other options that exist for me. Keith Witt: Almost any contemplative practice helps. There's a real interesting study that was done on psychotherapists. Psychotherapists who did contemplative practice, which is any kind of meditation that focused on compassionate inner awareness, they had higher empathy scores. But when they stopped doing their practice, their empathy scores went down. Neil Sattin: Wow. Keith Witt: So having some mindful practice, and those five questions if you're asking them about yourself is a mindful practice. Paying attention with acceptance and caring intent, what you're feeling, thinking, judging, wanting, sensing, is a mindfulness practice. Doing that mindfulness practice and being able to recognize when you shift into violence, when you shift into diminishing another person. Or when you're feeling that sense of attunement where the sky is the limit. You and I are going back and forth in that intersubjectivity that we all love so much, that seekers love so much with other seekers, where we're looking for deeper truth together and both of us are kind of alert to what's gonna emerge between us. There's a palpable difference between those two moods of discourse. Once that becomes visible to you, it becomes way easier to regulate it. And what is visible to you as a couple? Now you've changed. That's a developmental milestone when that's visible for a couple. Keith Witt: And they both feel a sense of responsibility to maintain the positive intersubjectivity, and to make adjustments with the negative intersubjectivity. So there's the answer, attunement, contemplative practice, and noticing the difference between those two states. And recognizing it's my responsibility to adjust from the negative state to the positive state. Just like you did with Chloe. I have a problem. What's my responsibility? My responsibility with her now is to lead with my vulnerability. I really don't know what to do. You're upset. I'm kind of conflicted. I don't know what to do. That vulnerable response was the most powerful response you could give in that moment. It invited her to understand and to offer her own vulnerability and out of that you guys came to a greater level of complexity with each other. Neil Sattin: Perfect, yeah. Well, Keith, thank you so much as always for being here with us to chat about relationships and your experience combined with all the research you've done. I really enjoy our ability to enter that highly attuned intersubjective space together and hopefully it's enjoyable for you listening as well 'cause you can tell. I think we both get kind of excited about it. Keith Witt: Yeah. It's really fun. It's really fun talking with you, Neil. Neil Sattin: Awesome. Keith Witt: Just gotta say, this is really... This is really a good time. [chuckle] Neil Sattin: Good, awesome. Well, then, we know we'll have another opportunity for sure, in the future. In the meantime, if you are interested in finding out more about Keith's work, do check out his new book, Coming Out, Loving Completely. He has many other books that are all great that I recommend for sure. Keith, what's your website? What's the best way for people to find out more about what's happening with you? Keith Witt: Just go on my website, drkeithwitt.com. There's lots of free lectures and lots of blogs. If you sign up, which is free, you get a free copy of my book, Attuned Family, and I'll send you free content from some of the classes that I teach, or the lectures that I've done. And there's also lectures for sale and classes for sale on my website. So, yeah, go to my website, check it out. Neil Sattin: Awesome. And... Keith Witt: Take something for you. Neil Sattin: And we will have, as I mentioned at the beginning, a detailed transcript available for you if you visit neilsattin.com/completely, as in Loving Completely or text the word PASSION to the number 33444 and follow the instructions. Keith Witt, such a pleasure to have you back here and thanks so much for all of your wisdom and knowledge today. Keith Witt: Thank you for having me.

24 - Patricia Albere: Evolutionary Relationships by Coaches Rising

Patricia Albere internationally known contemporary spiritual teacher and author, who is at ground zero of an evolutionary stream of spiritual awakening–one in which we learn to go beyond individual psychology and transformation, into a new space of mutual awakening, or ‘inter-being,’ or ‘we-mysticism’. She’s the author of “Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening,” and the founder and director of the Evolutionary Collective.

Patricia Albere internationally known contemporary spiritual teacher and author, who is at ground zero of an evolutionary stream of spiritual awakening–one in which we learn to go beyond individual psychology and transformation, into a new space of mutual awakening, or ‘inter-being,’ or ‘we-mysticism’. She’s the author of “Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening,” and the founder and director of the Evolutionary Collective.

CJ interviews author Patricia Albere on her newest book "Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening". Patricia describes her soul mate connection and how it lead her to find her life's mission. How can we move from our separated consciousness to a collective consciousness? Patricia explains how mutual awakening affects her daily interactions with others and how it's different than doing individual practices (e.g.- meditation, yoga, etc).This show is broadcast live on Wednesday's 4PM ET on W4WN Radio – The Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (http://www.talk4radio.com/) on the Talk 4 Media Network (http://www.talk4media.com/).2

When you start a relationship, something special becomes possible, something unique that the world has never known before. However - how do you figure out what that “something special” is? And how can your love be a vehicle for actually helping us evolve? This episode is an invitation to you to step into an experience of “shared consciousness” - what happens when you’re able to explore the space created between you and another person. Our guest is Patricia Albere, founder of the Evolutionary Collective and author of Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening. Patricia has been guiding others on this path for years, exploring the edges of how consciousness shifts when two (or more) people step into it together. In her book, and in this episode, we talk about the practical aspects of her work - how it translates into higher levels of connectedness, personal growth, healing, feeling supported, and supporting others. And we also talk about some of the fundamental principles that are required when you want to explore and experiment with your partner (or others in your life who are up for the journey). Here is a link to the first appearance of Patricia Albere on Relationship Alive: Episode 6 - How to Deepen Intimacy through Shared Consciousness. And, as always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Resources: Check out Patricia Albere's website Read Patricia’s new book, Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide www.neilsattin.com/patricia2 Visit to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Patricia Albere Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out Transcript: Neil Sattin: Hello and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. What we're trying to do with this show is create a change in culture, and for the purposes of our conversation here, most of that change has to do with how we relate to our partners, our lovers, our spouses, our boyfriends and girlfriends and other friends. That's the foundation of the conversation that we're having here, and we're part of a larger conversation about how we relate to each other in the world in general. Neil Sattin: In order to talk more about that and where our relatedness is going, how to take conventional relationships and actually turn them into something that's deeper, more fulfilling, more enlivening, and part of the evolution of our species and our culture, I brought in someone really special who was here in the early days of the podcast. Her name is Patricia Albere and she is here on the heels of releasing her new book, Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening. Neil Sattin: She was on Relationship Alive way back in episode six, and if you're interested in hearing that episode you can go to neilsattin.com/patricia and that will take you there so you can hear what we talked about the first time she was on the show. We may take a moment this time around to talk a little bit about mutual awakening and how to do it, which is something that we talked about back then, but otherwise we are going to dive even more deeply into the skills of relatedness and how to create something even more amazing as you explore the shared consciousness created between you and your partner, or you and someone else with whom you feel that spark of an evolutionary relationship. We're going to talk about what that means in just a moment. Neil Sattin: If you are interested in downloading the transcript and action guide for this episode, you can do that at neilsattin.com/patricia2, that's the name Patricia and the number 2, or as always, you can text the word PASSION to the number 33444 and follow the instructions, and that will get you all the information that you need. Okay, I think that's it for now. Patricia Albere, thank you so much for joining us again here today on Relationship Alive. Patricia Albere: I am just smiling, I'm just so happy to be with you and to be able to have another conversation about something that we're both passionate about. Neil Sattin: Yes. I don't want to set an unrealistic expectation but I will say that after our last conversation, I just remember this so clearly. I got off Skype and I went and found Chloe, my wife, and I was just like, "That was probably the most powerful conversation I've had up until that point." You know, it was just so expansive and it's such a treat to be able to have you back here today. Patricia Albere: Thank you. Neil Sattin: The title of your book, it's called Evolutionary Relationships, and I don't think we can really talk about the practice of mutual awakening and all of the activating principles - we will hopefully cover some of those on today's conversation - without talking about what you even mean about evolutionary relationship. How is that different than the kind of relationships that we're used to having and why is it so important? Patricia Albere: Great question. Evolutionary relationship, you can approach it from a couple of different angles. One is evolutionary. We are lucky enough as human beings to be conscious of the fact that evolution exists, that we're actually headed somewhere. For thousands of years no one had that concept at all. I mean basically we were just on the planet, we were living, we were doing whatever we were doing, and for the most part time and the movement of time was very ... It looked like things weren't even changing. Like most people's children did the same thing they did. Patricia Albere: If you think of thousands and thousands of years, the sense of no change was pretty strong. For us, we are now living at a time where the quality of change and how everything is moving is so crazily intense. Every day scientists are discovering things, there's technology. I mean it's like the newness of what is occurring and how we are hooking up and even consciousness itself is evolving, that to be connected to the fact that your relationships too are evolving, love is evolving. Patricia Albere: We think love is just some eternal expression between human beings that has been the same forever, and actually love itself is evolving. For relationships, the evolutionary quality of relationships, I talked about in the first chapter, first or second chapter, I can't remember, talking about Maslow's hierarchy. If you look at relationships from Maslow's hierarchy of needs, some relationships, none of it is bad or good, it's just different. You can have a romantic or a marriage type relationship where in a way it's at the basic needs of Maslow at the bottom, it turns into logistics. Patricia Albere: Sex is kind of very basic, you have a home together, you take care of things, you get food, you have meals, you get a new car, there can be a quality where much of the relationship starts getting devoted to just the survival needs of what it means to live together. Just even saying that sometimes you're like, "Ooh". You can feel when your relationship is sort of slipped into, that that becomes the dominant. Patricia Albere: Even if you're doing it at a high level of going on vacations and getting another fabulous car, or something else, it becomes kind of on a survival level and the relatedness is not very awake and expanded, and there aren't tons of potentials that are going to show up between you. Patricia Albere: Next level up you would move into safety and security. Most people navigate that in their relationships to feel safe, safe psychologically and physically with each other, and secure and able to trust. Next level up is belonging, a sense of being loved. Some relationships never get beyond sort of like third level up which is just that just to be loved and to feel like you have a sense of belonging, you belong to one another, is the scope and the territory of the level of relatedness which is also important and wonderful, but it isn't on the edge of evolution. Patricia Albere: Evolution is always pushing into the newness into what's possible for human beings. An evolutionary relationship is like where our human potentials and possibilities are evolving into, moving into. As you move up the scale, I went through the whole thing, but on that higher levels, there's the two higher levels, one is called actualization. You can be with a partner where you experience empowering one another to really actualize your potentials to both be successful in the world, to make a difference or whatever it is that you have a value for in that way, and to love each other from more of a place of abundance rather than need. Patricia Albere: Instead of just "I need this" or "I need a relationship for the various things", you start to feel like an overflow, like you actually have a lot to give and you can give to one another. Neil Sattin: Right. In our first conversation we talked about how in that kind of relationship you can even be taking a stand for each other, like, "I'm taking a stand for you being the best you could possibly be." Patricia Albere: Yes, definitely. I think a lot of the current things, you know, the courses and conversations, and the things that you can do are very much about empowering that sense of actualization where you have two independent human beings who are self-authoring. They're trying to really fulfill themselves, their higher purpose, their sense of self, their interior sense of self, and that you have two people loving each other from being more actualized whether it's in the world or also in your own consciousness and development. Patricia Albere: The evolutionary relationship is taking it a step further which is something that not everybody needs to do but some of us need to. If evolution is going to continue to move, the thing that is worth knowing is that it isn't just about relationship, evolution itself is happening through human consciousness and human relationship at this point. We aren't creating new creatures, in fact we're eliminating many of them. Patricia Albere: Evolution isn't fooling around with "how do we have new species", where it's interested, where the push is in the entire movement of billions of years of evolution is human consciousness is where it's happening. Where it's happening in human consciousness is no longer with just people's individual consciousness, that's been being worked with for the last few thousand years. Individual enlightenment, personal transformation, individual salvation through like religion and stuff has been - Neil Sattin: Right, that's old news. Patricia Albere: Kind of. The way I see it, that's been going on. We've been doing that for a few thousand years, somewhat, I guess okay, and we're failing in a lot of it, but that's not new. Science is pointing to that we're not separate objects, that actually the only thing that's real is exchanging. There's no there there, there's no atom. We think there's little billiard balls that we're made of. When they go down to the root of the root of what's there, they don't find anything, what they find is exchange. These little balls of exchanging energies. If you want to translate that, that is relating. What that is, is relationship and relating. Patricia Albere: Ultimately, all there is, is relating on the most fundamental levels, and the way that humans can begin to push the consciousness, awaken to and begin to be a part of, being able to manage the kind of consciousness that we need to start to get access to, kind of like atomic fusion, is what is the space between us, what is actually happening in the space between humans and how can we lean into and become awake to, and sensitive to reality together. Neil Sattin: I'm curious to know a couple of things, one is do you recall when you first became aware that that was what was happening? That there was this space between a shared consciousness that was where evolution was taking us. Was there like an "aha" moment for you around that? Patricia Albere: Yes. I didn't know about the evolutionary part until later, but my path has always been I'm like taken into experiences and then 10 years later I understand what happened. I guess I'm mystic at heart, I'm willing to not know. I'm sure I probably shared a bit of it on the first conversation that we had, but it happened in a relationship. There was a man named Peter who was a beautiful German mystic, and we fell in love and came together. His obsession for awakening and for enlightenment was from the moment he woke up all the way through his sleep. He never was interested in anything other than that and he never stopped paying attention to awakening, to consciousness, to being fully present in every moment. He was pretty obsessed. Patricia Albere: For me, I had had a background of working with thousands of people and I think my heart, my ability to love was very developed. I had a childhood that ... A great mom. My heart was very available. When we came together and I am convinced that he is my twin soul, it was one of those things that you couldn't not recognize and you couldn't not be in. The magnet that pulls us together was not ... There was no choice, it was choiceless. Patricia Albere: Our being together, what happened was was as we said yes to one another and we were so focused on each other and the space that was happening between us, and with his meditative consciousness and my capacity and attunement to love and the energies and what's going on there, and then just the way we felt about each other, we were so made one, and 24/7 we were always aware of what was happening. There was never a moment where he was unaware of what was happening with me, what was happening with us and vice versa. We never were separate, we never went in to like, "I'm just me over here, and he is just him over there, and I don't really know what's going on." Patricia Albere: Most relationships, if people look are pretty separate. There's times of relating, it's always sort of there, but a lot of the time we're functioning on two separate tracks a lot. Especially in that actualized level, you're very focused on your own separate track even though you love each other and you're supporting each other. This was being what I call interpenetrated, like we were completely inside each other and inside of this relatedness that we were together. Patricia Albere: I had four years of that before he was in a car accident, and he was brain injured, then eventually he died. I was in something where we were opening and being taken somewhere. Evolution was definitely having a field day with us. I felt it, I felt like I'd look at him sometimes like we'd make love or something would happen and I would look at him and I'd go, "Oh my god." I felt like love itself had just gone some place where it had never been before. Patricia Albere: Sometimes it felt more like it was just beautiful, and full and amazing, but there were times where I could actually feel the newness of existence finding new pathways because we were so available. Just like if you were two great tennis players, like if you're two genius tennis players, sometimes tennis goes some place where tennis has never been before. It was pretty exciting to have that in the level of relatedness. Patricia Albere: For me when I later found out many years later about evolution and about the edge of evolution, and about consciousness, I could see that what I had experienced with him was part of the future of where we were headed. Where not just couples were headed, but that the multiple beloved. There is a way to be connected that has that mystical dimension, that has our divinity being evoked as much as even more than just our humanity and our limitations. That's pretty exciting. Neil Sattin: Yes. When I hear that what I am brought to is thinking about the capacity that we have to experience the miracle of life, the blessing of interrelatedness to bring that into even just our simple day-to-day interactions which brings a quality of aliveness that once you experience it I think it's challenging to be like, "Yeah, I'm just gonna go back to paying the bills and pretending this doesn't exist." Patricia Albere: It's true. There's even a more, to me, kind of exciting opportunity in all of it for those of us who are drawn to love, drawn to pay attention to relatedness as you are, as we are, and I'm sure the people that are obviously listening to this. The thing that's so exciting that I didn't know when I was with Peter was the quality of the consciousness that we were developing was different than nondual consciousness. Those people who have done a lot of meditation and a lot of work in nondual quality of consciousness which is usually what people consider being enlightened or awake. Patricia Albere: It's completely different than that. There's actually a new kind of consciousness that's absolutely enlightened but it's not that. When they do brain studies they can actually see that when you're meditating which is by yourself with your eyes closed in silence, you are learning how to let go of thinking, you're learning how to move into a certain state where they find that the mind when they measure it, you're letting go of your particular relationship to the world. You go into a deep state of relaxation and the brain goes into a certain place. Patricia Albere: When you're doing the kind of practices that we're doing, that I'm practicing and working with people where it's like super focus with the other, with the space between, your brain goes into this amazingly other place, it ignites different lobes and parietal. I don't remember the names of all of it but it activates your brain in such a way that it goes into a place of flow, it goes into a place of like joy and positive love, like different kinds of experiences and energies that lift people. Lift their mood and lift their stabilization there, and it also allows them to be incredibly engaged in the world. Patricia Albere: Like you're in contact with this kind of intimacy, and love and care for the trees, for your kids. The feeling of intimacy, like everything is touching everything, like you feel like you're inside your cat when your petting their fur, like you're both the fur and the cat. It makes sense because ultimately with love or lovers, people that have studied tantra, you experience your lover, you're like inside them experiencing their experience, your experience and then something else simultaneously. This consciousness is that. Patricia Albere: I think it's way more attuned to eyes open, moving around in this world, and it is what is necessary. It's a kind of flow state rather than just being in yourself, focused on your higher purpose, focused on how you feel, grounded in your body. All of that is good but it's so separate, and it's not like, "You know, as long I am completely focused on my own subjective experience, and how I feel, and how I'm moving, and what I want and where I'm headed and all the rest of it", I'm not all of that related. Patricia Albere: That makes a certain kind of flow not possible, it also makes the fact that 7.5 billion people right now moving towards 10 billion in 2050, to me, evolution is not that interested in everyone individually really knowing themselves only, it's not going to really work. Neil Sattin: It's going to be a lot of life coaches. Patricia Albere: Oh my god, we're going to have a problem. We need to learn how to be like those sports teams, and the people that, well we see them become like one organism, and then spectacularly empowered to be individuals within it. Like the way basketball team that's really got that oneness, all the team members are like knocking it out of the park but they're not operating individually, there's this oneness of the way that they're flowing and moving together that's tastable. My work is about ... We've hacked into how do you bring people into that level of consciousness and relatedness without having to have like a basketball or a violin. Neil Sattin: There are two places I want to go right now, one is giving you listening a taste of what we're talking about, like how this actually happens, and then there's the question that's in my mind around like how do you know if a certain person that you're interacting with, how do you know if this evolutionary potential is there between the two of you? Patricia Albere: Interesting. The first thing would be, as we've talked about, people can download a couple of chapters of the book in evolutionarycollective.com. You personally need to first go, "What is she talking about? And who am I in relationship to this?" If it starts to make more and more sense, if you feel like you're a candidate or maybe you're quoted for this edge of evolution, to understand more about it and to begin to experience it for yourself. Patricia Albere: There are ways that we take people into the practice. There are certain practices like meditation that give you a very powerful experience of being in this consciousness with another human being who's also interested in being the consciousness with you, because you need two people that are mutually interested which is one of the great things and it's one of the problems because you can't do it by yourself. You can't just do it with anybody. If you have somebody sitting across from you who's kind of going, "I don't really wanna do this and I don't really wanna be here", it's not going to work. Patricia Albere: The first thing is find out for yourself, then from there ... You read the book together, you could start to do the practices, you could then begin to invite someone into like, "Would you be willing to experiment with me and see, and see what happens for us?", like you and your wife, and start to see if something begins to open in a way that is compelling for both of you. Neil Sattin: Actually you were just mentioning talking about the brain activity that might be involved in this kinds of practice. We just released an interview with Alex Katehakis who, she focuses mainly on addiction, and sex, and love addiction, and the power of relatedness in healing the pathways that went offline and that created an opportunity for addiction to emerge in a person. I can imagine this practice will have an enormous healing potential for connection, like if you're in a place that feels really disconnected from your partner if you can invite them into it in a way where they feel like, "Yeah, I'm willing to give that a whirl." Neil Sattin: The kind of presence with each other that we're talking about, and we'll get a little bit more into that I think, offers a healing experience when you're bringing those parts of your brain back online. This is total speculation, but it must be that when you set up that kind of resonance that's what allows this shared consciousness to happen. Patricia Albere: Yes, definitely. It was so amazing. I just came from teaching for like almost eight days or nine days which isn't usual, I mean normally I have some breaks in between. We have the people that are very, very interested in what can happen between people who are really inside this way of practicing and want to work together instead on their personal work. We have 100 people who are doing these kinds of practices with each other and just spent five days together in a retreat. Patricia Albere: They're practicing all year long and we meet a couple of times a year, so we're building this quality of the beloved, of this amazing ridiculous-like levels of our nervous systems getting hooked up. What you're saying is, like the people that understand attachment theory and the various kinds of ways in which people develop, this is first of all like when people are inside of something that's large like that and the level of connectedness is so absolute, the pathways around not having had healthy attachment, and not being able to trust, and not being able to relax literally start getting handled without even paying attention to it. Patricia Albere: So you're not actually processing that stuff, you're actually in a larger nervous system that's already stabilizing and harmonizing and regulating you which is crazy powerful as far as healing people. We're not doing it for that reason but that is happening. The other thing ... One of the most exciting things that's happened at least up until this week, the group is from all over, everybody came. There are people from Japan, and Australia, and Europe, and New York, and Vermont, and California. Patricia Albere: We were all together and we've all been working together for anywhere as from one to eight years, there are people that have been in that. What started to happen, we were all together is you know how like when you're working with someone, and consciousness-wise, they can all of a sudden shift their consciousness and become totally silent or totally focused, or they could drop into a certain kind of depth reliably? You can just point the there and they go, "Whop", and they kind of go there. Patricia Albere: Our collective being, because it actually feels like something that's bigger than us, literally has new skills. It was amazing. We could be in this powerful sense of unification, and focus and depth of love, and then if I said something you could tell if somebody started to think, there was a tiny bit of fragmentation, I could just point to it and it would just be like, "Woo." Patricia Albere: The level of unity. One of the women shared this morning, we had a call earlier, she said she's always felt like a little bit afraid to speak up for herself in certain situations that are challenging. She always thought she should and blah, blah, blah, and she said there is something that is so powerfully in her now that she can't not. Almost like something was, some strength was placed - in her level of not being alone, her level of this consciousness connection that we have, she's standing on something that she never stood on before and it's changing her behavior. Which is kind of cool! Neil Sattin: Yes, very cool. Bringing that back to the context of romantic relationship, it's very common that the battles that emerge are around actually fighting for connection, fighting to prove that you're not alone, and it can feel like you're really alone. Again, I can just imagine how creating a backdrop of connectedness has such a powerful impact on the level of trust in relationship as one example. Patricia Albere: Yes. Part of what the practices are, I mean there is a main one but there are some different things, is where you learn to make the connection is not on the surface, it's not on the personality level, it's not even on that subtle connection level where you're feeling your heart, and there's like a deeper place that people usually are trained to connect from. We're actually moving it from the subtle to this causal dimension which is the deepest origination point of that particular human being and yourself. Patricia Albere: When I can work with people I can get them to drop into this place, and from that place you're not solid. You're like this opening of who you are that's very particular but it's not a solid object, it's like what the scientists are saying - you're like this space of potential as Neil. When you and I connect from that deepest opening that you are, and you can see into the deepest place of where I am, and we literally start to connect from there, two spaces could connect, two fragrances can connect, two stones can't. Things that are solid can't actually interpenetrate. Patricia Albere: When you start to build that level of the we, like you literally become a new kind of wine. Your grape and my grape, we become Merlot. When you're deepening and deepening into that, now does it mean that your personality and the crazy things that drive each other crazy go away? No. We still have separatenesses that are still going to operate but we have that to ... That becomes louder and louder and a place to return to and stand on. So that when you're dealing with the things that are different and challenging, you don't lose each other, you do it from being connected instead of separate. Patricia Albere: Most arguments are completely separate. That's why people love having fights and making love because when you make love and you all of a sudden go, "Oh, it's you, it's me. You know, I remember you. You know, you don't look like the evil guy who's making me crazy." You go back to that place where the real connection is, and we have a very sophisticated but powerful way to just have humans find that, nurture that, deepen that because that's also where divinity arises from. Patricia Albere: We include our human limitations and failings, but there's some source that I know Peter and I found where I felt myself as more beautiful, and more powerful. It was like I was almost witnessing her as he was. It was like some way of me being myself that I had never experienced nor had I ever been received in that way. My work is really devoted to deepening that for people, exploring that not as a spiritual bypass kind of thing but as making that louder and louder, and clearer, and more rich and substantial so that the other levels of us are kind of put more in their place. They're not everything. Neil Sattin: Yes. We have had Jett Psaris on the show, one of the authors of Undefended Love, I'm not sure if her conversation will have aired by the time. We may do this one first. One of the places that she comes from, I'm not sure if you're familiar with her work at all is basically getting couples to the place where they're able to be totally open and vulnerable with each other. Neil Sattin: When we're young we start out from a place like that and then we end up suffering some wound or something happens that creates a crack in the veneer of everything being one and perfect which gives us a really hard emotional internal experience. From that our personality emerges which she talks about as basically all of our ego structures that are about protecting us from the experience, from what we're afraid will happen if we're that vulnerable again. Neil Sattin: Her practice is a lot about going inwards when you feel that fear happening, that closing happening. I love that this is almost like the equal and opposite approach to very similar way of getting at the essential self. Like what is there beneath the veneer of personality. Patricia Albere: Yes. It's interesting because as you're speaking I'm realizing the direct access to the core which actually is findable  - interestingly -  I don't know why but it's almost like giving people ... Like if you're doing remote viewing and you give them coordinates. The coordinate of finding this deepest place in oneself is actually findable even though people think they can't, they find it. Neil Sattin: Is that something we could talk about now? Patricia Albere: I'm just saying when you find that and you deepen into that then when stuff comes up there's a way in the way that we practice where we turn towards whatever is there together. If I'm feeling defended, I'm feeling hard like cardboard, and I'm sensing into like the phenomenological reality of feeling separate. That would happen with Peter, sometimes we'd go, "Wow, it feels really flat." We'd go, "Yeah, it does, doesn't it?" we were like kids, like we were so curious about whatever was there, we didn't have like a certain kind of preference that it had to be always profound or deep. Patricia Albere: Whatever was there, we were like we wanted to be close to that, and we wanted to be close together with it. When you turn that way towards whatever is there even if it's a weird defensive thing, it seems to unravel, it tends to show itself without you trying to do anything, and it tends to, in my experience, the power of things dissolving in the face of "the two" being with it instead of it's just my process and and it's my stuff. It's exciting because it moves very quickly and it feels different when you're not just by yourself working on your stuff. Neil Sattin: Yes. It feels to me like there's alchemy in the space. Patricia Albere: Yes, that's a good way of saying it, interesting. Yes, definitely. Part of what I'm excited about too, I mean I've worked for 40 years with people with their individual work, and I love people, and I've always been committed to people being able to express their highest, deepest selves and why they're here. For the people who are able to not make it all about them and want to explore the edges of where evolutionary relationships could go and what's possible together, what I find is that the kind of activation and healing, and empowering people to move forward is just a hundred times more powerful, and it makes sense. Patricia Albere: If I was creating the universe, instead of having everybody selfishly working on themselves individually forever as the fastest mode, that wouldn't make sense. It makes sense that if we somehow find a way to come together that everything goes faster, that we're rewarded for that makes sense to me. Neil Sattin: Yes. Patricia Albere: It's more efficient, it's kind of like I can't build a house by myself, if we're like a hundred people we can do it. Neil Sattin: Honestly, I'm also thinking about the power, like in the power of relatedness. I was just reading a book by Deborah Tannen about friendships among women, and it was talking about this girl who, she was on the autism spectrum, and seemingly incurable and getting worse. No amount of therapy, no amount of intervention from a teacher, like nothing was helping, and then she made a friend who actually accepted her. I think they connected around horses or something like that, and did this amazing turnaround where she went from being completely shut down to being open, socially engaged. Neil Sattin: It was like the power of healing that was there in the relatedness versus trying to fix something, or cure something. Patricia Albere: That's so beautiful. Here's another thing I'll throw in that you'll probably appreciate. I don't know if everyone will appreciate this. In this evolutionary piece, when you think about evolution there are jumps to evolution. We went from nothing to matter, so there was geosphere, there was just this dead planet here, and then from a dead planet life showed up which is kind of crazy, like how did that happen. There are jumps that just are completely miraculous. From dead matter to life, and then from life, from single celled creatures, we have Einstein, we have geniuses and human beings, and plants, and birds and everything come to life, and then humans with consciousness which is just a miracle. Patricia Albere: From humans, we have what he calls the thinking layer. Teilhard de Chardin called that the noosphere , he said we go from the biosphere which is life and human life, to the thinking layer which is the noosphere which is all of culture, and language, and art, and philosophy, and psychology, everything that you're talking about on your show, and love. All of that he called the noosphere, and you can see it in the internet, you can see the physicality of this noosphere, hooking up, hooking up, hooking up, so that we have omnsicience. We can know anything anytime, we can contact each other. Patricia Albere: If the aliens land outside my house like in the next five minutes, if I captured it on my phone, the whole world will know in about 10 minutes. If it was real, but it was compelling enough, billions of people would be focused on the same image and the same words in a heartbeat. It is unbelievable. That didn't even exist 10 years ago, and we are hooking up, hooking up, hooking up, right? People have it on their phones. Patricia Albere: The noosphere was the next layer that evolution was innovating and is obviously pretty excited about. The next one is what I'm going to call the spondic sphere. Spondic love, the term is this experience of I am, may you be. In the way that we practice there's this experience of love, and when you love someone, it comes from some place that's deeper than your personality loving them. There's almost like this cosmic energy that wants to just go, "Ha, I want you to have everything. You know, like I love you, I love you." You just want to imbue them with everything. We feel that for our children. Sometimes our heart bursts into this kind of empowerment that is deeper than just human love. Patricia Albere: You can feel it when you're on the other end of spondic love, it is palpable, you actually feel like part of your life just got made because this person loves you from a place that they're in and for you in a way that's real. This mutual spondic love which is also part of the consciousness that we're working with and the consciousness that I think is next, I think that the next place of innovation will be that kind of love where we, instead of being separate, instead of not being even neutral towards each other and just surviving on our own, or competing or actively using each other and stomping on each other. Patricia Albere: This spondic quality of love and connectivity will be the foundation for a ridiculous amount of miracles, innovation, creativity, coming together, working together, doing things that can't be done, et cetera, et cetera, that's going to be the next explosion of where evolution is going to be working. Neil Sattin: I'm going to ask a hard question here which is what's the place of monogamous relationships in the birthing of this interconnectedness and this evolutionary consciousness. Patricia Albere: I think when you are in fact with your twin soul, it doesn't happen a lot, but when it happens, there is nowhere to go, there really isn't. Even if they ended up marrying someone else they are yours. You are so one and there is nowhere you want to be. The kind of sexuality, the kind of love and the depth that's shared, there's no desire for anyone else because the newness of love, and the depth, and the profundity of what's there is just crazy unfolding between you. You'd have to be crazy to want to actually go and try to be with someone that you didn't have that with. Maybe you eat the best food in the world and then you decide to go have a- Neil Sattin: Have a burger. Patricia Albere: McDonald's hamburger. I don't know why did I even want to do that. Neil Sattin: It's just interesting because it sounds like the experience, because we're talking about being able to evoke this kind of consciousness in an exercise with a partner, and yet it is creating the experience of deep, deep love and interconnectedness. Patricia Albere: There is still a discernment. The thing that I find with the groups of people is, what happens is because everyone is so starving for being seen for any kind of real depth and relatedness, the moment someone sees you deeply you think you want to have sex with them or that you love them. It's so pathetic, I mean we're so starving as humans, and it's nobody's fault. We live in a world of separation. People don't look at each other, we literally live in so much separation and isolation that we don't even realize that it doesn't have to be normal. Patricia Albere: What happen is is like in the people that I'm working with intensively, I remember two people and they're both married to other people, they did a practice and they went somewhere, and they both came out and you look at them and you were like, "Whoa, what just happened?" They've gone to a level of love and depth that they didn't ever even experience with their partners. Patricia Albere: Initially they were kind of like, "I don't know, you know, what do I do with that?" It was a man and a woman, and I just said keep allowing it, keep holding, and then more of that started to happen in the group. Part of what comes through then as you begin to create these deeper connections and you're being so nourished and so seen and you realize how abundant that is, you can then bring that to your partner. You don't have to go being, what do they call it, polyamorous. Patricia Albere: Polyamory is a lot of work, to try to juggle. You have to have no life I think. To navigate one relationship is hard enough as you know, if you're trying to navigate with depth, and with openness, and transparency and honesty, two relationships or more, that takes a ridiculous amount of real energy and work. I respect it, I think that there is some newness, something that's opening there and people are learning and growing within that, so I'm not condemning that, I'm just saying I don't think that ultimately that's where we're headed, not at all. Because you can experience profound connection without having to have sex with everybody. Neil Sattin: Thank you. Patricia Albere: You're welcome. Neil Sattin: This really makes me want to dive in to some of your activating principles. Neil Sattin: Great. Patricia, like I mentioned in our first episode together, we talked about the mutual awakening practice. Could you give us just a quick like 30 second rundown. If you're going to try it with your partner, this is how you try it. Then we can talk about some of the principles that make it so unique in terms of your approach and how to really deepen in that experience. Patricia Albere: I honestly, I can't do a 10-minute version of how to do it, I can't because it wouldn't really help and if people tried to do it from there it wouldn't work anyway. You need to know enough of where to come from, you need to take the time because otherwise ... People do it from the superficial level of self, it's pointless, it wouldn't do anything. Again, if they just go to evolutionarycollective.com and they at least download the first three chapters that will start them on their way. If they listen to the other interview that we did that will help as well. If they're genuinely curious, they're going to need to invest some time and energy in actually discovering what this is and how it works for real. Patricia Albere: The activating principles which are in the book, the chapters in the book are basically mostly dedicated to not only how to do it but then how do you turn it on, how do you continue ... If you were to do it with your wife you would start to learn how to do it and then you could take a chapter and work with that for awhile to open it, to make it even more full, and to continue to work through the pieces. Patricia Albere: One of them is engagement. It's simple but when your turns towards each other, to really recognize how fully engaged are you and how much more can you open and give yourself into the connection. If people just think about that for a moment, the next time they listen to their small child...how engaged are you? Are you just sort of passively listening, being polite, being a good parent and hoping that it won't take too long, or do you actually go over where their enthusiasm is, get inside their little six-year-old consciousness, try to really enter into them and engage fully in what it is that they're actually experiencing? That's one of them. Patricia Albere: In life, you don't have to know how the practice works, to just pay attention to the engagement not as someone as separate but can you get inside them, can you be inside their world and then connect. That turns something on. When people are, when you're inside their world with them and then getting engaged, something happens that's different than if you're just listening from over where you are. Neil Sattin: Can you talk about how that interacts with the next activating principle of commitment in terms of your committedness to staying inside as you work through whatever comes up. Patricia Albere: That's a little bit bigger. If you created an evolutionary relationship, if you are practicing with each other, if you're entering into this interpenetrated consciousness, consciousness where instead of ... Most people have a subjective experience where "I feel this", and if I'm vulnerable I'll let you in on how I feel, I'll share it with you and you compassionately listen and usually relate to it from yourself - from the way you feel like that - which is still we're very separate. Patricia Albere: Interpenetrating is where you learn how to place your consciousness. This is like against all the boundary stuff, but you actually go inside and you feel the other as they feel themselves. You feel me as I actually feel myself. There's a way that I guide people into how do you actually do that. When that level of relatedness is being developed and built, from there and from a commitment to each other, then the committed-ness make sense. Patricia Albere: Like if something happens or if you do something that's driving me crazy, instead of me working it out in my head by myself and then announcing to you how I'm going to deal with it, or announcing to you that I'm leaving you, I'll let you know what I worked out for myself. I stay inside with you and I share with you, and we kind of go in together into what the resistance is, what the concern is. We do it from being inside the commitment to each other, and to the relationship, and to the experience that's actually there. I don't do it as a separate something. Does that makes sense to you? Neil Sattin: Yes. What you're committing to is that you're involved in a process that you're co-creating, and so the act of going off on your own to figure something out is a step away from what could emerge if you gave that thing to the process that you're in. Patricia Albere: Yes, right, and that we'll share it. It doesn't mean anyone is going to be perfect, it doesn't mean that we won't disturb each other in different ways, but that we bring it forth, and we bring it in, and we bring it towards, instead of that it's a function of separation. When you have that spondic relationship too, when you activate that in and for each other, that also makes it a lot safer. Neil Sattin: Then you can actually be invested in the truth without it being something that's about separating. Patricia Albere: Yes, totally. Neil Sattin: Obviously we won't have time to talk about this whole topic but I didn't want to end this conversation without being able to talk for a moment about trust. I love the way that you articulate the different levels of trust. The level that you call basic trust, how that feeds into the way that we trust each other, and then the generative trust that leads to your trust growing and the expectation of it being potentially a little messy that's included there. Neil Sattin: I'm wondering of you could just explain, because I think what would really be helpful for our listeners is if they could come away from this with a sense of what basic trust is, and then let's see where that takes us as we wrap up this conversation. Patricia Albere: You keep asking me for the one-minute version of something that takes like- Neil Sattin: I'm bad, I know I'm so bad. Patricia Albere: The basic trust is obviously - there's one of the chapters that goes through that, relative trust and generative trust. There's a course that I have online that's in evergreen that people can buy that has two whole sessions dedicated to the basic trust part. To do the very simple version is basic trust is something that we have when we're born, until it's disturbed there's this sense of being connected to the flow of life where we feel like ... It's without thought, it's like things are going to work out. Patricia Albere: If you get fed, you get off, you get a little frustrated and you get fed, and somebody picks you up. Different things are happening without too much frustration, you tend to grow up to be a human being who has some sense of being relaxed in life. Even if something is hard that's happening, you kind of sense that it's going to work out or you're going to figure out a way through it. Patricia Albere: The people that have basic trust interfered with, they constantly are not getting what they need, they tense up and their egos are wired to try to make it all happen themselves. Ultimately, when basic trust is restored, you relax and life unfolds. Actually, faith, true faith, the kind that saints have, is basic trust restored, and that's full relaxation. You actually feel utterly okay being in the world that even when things don't go well. Patricia Albere: It's unbelievably important, it shapes your relationship to absolutely everything, and it's one of those concepts that when you find out about it and you begin to work with it, it can change your whole life. It's super important. Obviously with the hundred people, that is what is partly being restored. Neil Sattin: Right. That feeds into, if you can operate from that place then it makes that that much easier to have relative trust which you talk about as the way that two people learn to trust each other based on their agreements, and their humility, and their expectations. Again in your book, Evolutionary Relationships, it's such a compelling read because for one thing, it's not like an entire book about trust, but it also distills it in such a way that I think makes it really real and practical for you to examine. Neil Sattin: This is an area like for instance, "my relationship has tons of trust based on our commitment, but we don't actually have the capacity to communicate in order to keep our trust intact", and so we have to increase our capacities. I love how you do that. What I love too is how it evolves to this generative trust and I think this is one of the hardest things in relationship because people expect like, "Oh, we're going for it and we're really deep and we're connecting, and we're interpenetrating with each other, then all of our problems are gonna go away." Patricia Albere: Yes, not so. Neil Sattin: How did that emerge for you, that concept of generative trust and why that's so important. Patricia Albere: Having worked with people forever and just having been in relationship, I mean the clarity around that was just given. Because you have to manage all of it. The relative trust is also important. If you have somebody who never keeps their word no matter how deep the connection is, you're not going to trust them and you shouldn't because they're not trustable. Neil Sattin: Right, or if they don't have the humility to be open to influence. Patricia Albere: Absolutely. People have to also take responsibility for having character, and I think that in some of the post-modern work everybody's working and dealing with their limitations. We get to a point where we just assume everyone is doing the best they can, and people are following the flow. They are following their subjective experience individually, but they're not taking responsibility for being related and actually showing up and having character, and dealing with the impact of a certain lack of integrity in certain ways. That definitely gets addressed in the book. Neil Sattin: Yes. It's funny that there are people like Dale Carnegie who write on and on, and on about how to become trustworthy, how to be someone that other people will turn to for influence. You sum it up pretty well in one chapter. Patricia Albere: Cool, thanks. Neil Sattin: Well, Patricia Albere, thank you so much for taking the time to be with us today on Relationship Alive to dive more deeply into the question of what makes an evolutionary relationship, what's possible. Again, you can visit her website, evolutionarycollective.com where you can download the first three chapters of Patricia's book, Evolutionary Relationships, and also find out more about her work and her trainings. We will have links to Patricia's book and website in the detailed transcript and action guide for this episode which you can get at neilsattin.com/patricia2, or you can text the work PASSION to the number 33444 and follow the instructions. Neil Sattin: Like I said, our first episode together, episode six, we do talk a little bit more about the actual mutual awakening process and I encourage you to check out that episode that we did together as well. In the mean time, thank you so much for joining us, Patricia. Is there anything else? Maybe you could just mention you do in person intensives where people can come and learn this. Patricia Albere: Yes. People that are intrigued by the possibility of being with a cohort of other human beings that are really interested in this quality of relationship, there will be a three-day in New York in April, the 13th through the 15th, we only do those twice a year, it's kind of special. If they sign up for the book, they'll have access to knowing what's happening and then people can, from the menu of what's there, see if something serves them. Thank you and thank you Neil, you do such a good job with this and with bringing just a myriad of ways to empower people with relatedness which I really respect. Neil Sattin: Thank you, I appreciate your saying that. Resources: Check out Patricia Albere's website Read Patricia’s new book, Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide www.neilsattin.com/patricia2 Visit to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Patricia Albere Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out    

For millennia, spirituality has been a deeply personal pursuit – monks on mountaintops and yogis in caves. But the world is more social than ever, and interconnectedness is transforming everything, from our family lives to work. Today, we need a spirituality that focuses more on “we” than “me.” In her bestselling book, Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening, Patricia Albere draws on more than four decades of teaching work to introduce a new spirituality called “mutual awakening” that you can explore with a friend, lover, spouse, or partner. With practices to guide you and lessons to inspire you, this book helps you become more available to yourself, your partner, and our world.

Whether you need to improve your relationship with a friend, lover, spouse or family member, Dr. Michelle and her guest, Patricia Albere, talk about Patricia's latest book, "Evolutionary Relationships; Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening." In this enlightening interview, you can find out how to become more available to yourself and to those who really matter in your life, as well as to the world in general. Patricia talks about how she has worked with over 200,000 people to help guide them to clarity and consciousness in order to find mutual awaking, more intimacy, truth and depth in their relationships. Find out more about Patricia Albere, and get her book at: evolutionarycollective.com or at patriciaalbere.com

Whether you need to improve your relationship with a friend, lover, spouse or family member, Dr. Michelle and her guest, Patricia Albere, talk about Patricia's latest book, "Evolutionary Relationships; Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening." In this enlightening interview, you can find out how to become more available to yourself and to those who really matter in your life, as well as to the world in general. Patricia talks about how she has worked with over 200,000 people to help guide them to clarity and consciousness in order to find mutual awaking, more intimacy, truth and depth in their relationships. Find out more about Patricia Albere, and get her book at: evolutionarycollective.com or at patriciaalbere.com

Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Spiritual Awakening with Patricia Albere In Evolutionary Relationships, Patricia Albere draws on more than four decades of teaching work to introduce a new spirituality called "mutual awakening" that you can explore with a friend, lover, spouse, or partner. With practices to guide you and lessons to inspire you, this book helps you become more available to yourself, your partner, and our world. Patricia Albere is at ground zero of an evolutionary stream of spiritual awakening–one in which we learn to go beyond individual psychology and transformation into a new space of mutual awakening or ‘inter-being’ or ‘we-mysticism’. She is the founder and director of the Evolutionary Collective and an internationally known contemporary spiritual teacher and author. Her unique discovery of the essential components that create an awakened ‘we space’ is transforming our understanding of what is possible in the space between us. Patricia has worked with over 200,000 people in groups in the last 40 years. Her mastery as a transformative teacher is now innovating a new field of ‘inter-subjective awakening’ and post-personal development. For more info visit: http://evolutionarycollective.com/evolutionary-relationships-book/ ************************************************* For more information about BITEradio products and services visit: http://www.biteradio.me/index.html

Kate & Michelle interview a guest expert on how to get in touch with your spiritual side and feel more connected and in touch with yourself and others in a collective sense of awareness. Our guest, Patricia Albere, is a fellow Contact Talk Radio host, speaker, spiritual teacher and coach, as well as, the author of Evolutionary Relationships, Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening!

Hey Folks, Today I'd like to share a conversation I had with one of my favorite evolutionary teachers, Patricia Albere, about her beautiful new book: Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening. Patricia is the founder of The Evolutionary Collective, a group of committed integral practitioners who are investigating relationship itself as a means of spiritual awakening. I hosted Patricia as she started the Collective several years ago at Boulder Integral. I loved working with her; Patricia has a special, right-on-schedule realization, and the gift of real spiritual leadership in sharing it with others. Here's the blurb I wrote for her book: “Patricia Albere has been conducting basic research into what it is to evolve in mutuality with other people. This book is a report from the frontiers of her explorations. What she has discovered is that love is not just an emotion but an evolutionary force, a force that drives all the fragments of the universe – including us – toward greater connection and wholeness.” You can find out more about Patricia's new book Evolutionary Relationships here. And if you are seriously interested in the practice of mutual awakening, consider buying the book by Sunday, 10/8/17 and you'll get complimentary tuition to her four-part course, Mutual Trust.

Patricia Albere internationally known contemporary spiritual teacher and author who is at ground zero of an evolutionary stream of spiritual awakening–one in which we learn to go beyond individual psychology and transformation into a new space of mutual awakening or ‘inter-being’ or ‘we-mysticism’. She is the author of Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening, and the founder and director of the Evolutionary Collective.

What will it take to usher in a new era of leadership that can be a catalyst for expanding coherence, connectivity and synergistic engagement? Members of the Evolutionary Leaders circle www.evolutionaryleaders.net will discuss how the fruits of our inner transformation can move us into new dimensions of leadership based on heart-centered interactions, innovative models for mutual awakening and new cultural narratives. This rich roundtable discussion will explore how to strengthen our resonance and resilience, learn joyful simplicity, and harness our innate wisdom and capacities, so that together we can support the evolution of human consciousness. Dr. Kurt Johnson will co-host with Rev. Deborah Moldow for an inspiring conversation with Patricia Albere of the Evolutionary Collective, renowned authors Gregg Braden (The Divine Matrix, Fractal Time, Deep Truth) and Duane Elgin (Voluntary Simplicity, The Living Universe), and Diane Williams, founder of the Source of Synergy Foundation.

How do you really see another person? And how do allow yourself to BE seen? How can you deepen into knowing the people around you, especially your partner, more honestly, more fully? These seem like they would be obvious questions in the case of relationship, and yet so often we plunge into partnership, driven by chemistry and desire, only to wake up later, sometimes years later, and to find that we’re simply going through the motions, vaguely (or extremely) dissatisfied, and knowing on some level that something more is possible. Today, we’re going to take this on directly, to go to the heart of vulnerability - opening up to the experience of the moment with another. Guy Sengstock is the earliest founder of “circling” and the co-founder of the Circling Institute. He’s also an exceptional coach, with a gift to help you see the water you’re swimming in. Circling is a practice that allows you to experience what it’s like to be fully “gotten” by other people - and for them to get a sense of what it would truly be like to be in your shoes. If you enjoyed Episode 13 on Attunement, with Keith Witt, or episode 6, on developing shared consciousness with Patricia Albere, then you are going to love this deep dive into how to really get related with yourself and another human being. Today, Guy and I dive into the following: What is Circling? Circling is more practice than it is concept. It is a practice that when done in a group is simply following and giving ourselves to what is most alive in the moment with others. It is a presence practice. Like a mantra in meditation or an asana in yoga, the object of focus in Circling is the moment to moment occurrences in relationship. This relational practice helps us become uncomfortable in a particular way, that can help open us to new aspects of ourselves that we then take into our relationships outside of the practice. Relational asanas: At the heart of circling is the simple (yet challenging) intention of speaking the moment, such that you are voicing what you are noticing and sensing AS IT OCCURS. Most human conversations are triangular in that you and I talk about a subject - rarely is it present tense and speaking in, for, and about the moment. Circling is similar to an asana in yoga, but in this case it is a relational asana. How can we learn to not speak about, and rather speak and listen for what is happening right in this moment? When we do this, we step into surprise and mystery because we do not know what will happen next. From this risk, our aliveness and our anxiety increases. Share your anxiety -  So many times we hide our anxiety from our partners, and often from ourselves. Anxiety and a nervous feeling helps to illuminate areas of stuckness/friction - a trailhead for finding out what is important enough to cause such an acute sensation! When we learn to share our anxiety with our partner, we show them that we care enough to include them. If and when you notice anxiety in the other, do not take it as a red flag, but rather a moment to get curious- “Oh woah, I’m imagining there is something really important to you that is making you feel so strongly”. Opening up our most vulnerable and sticky feelings to our partner brings in a whole new dynamic to the relationship! It opens the doors to what is ACTUALLY occurring in a way that can then be explored and known, rather than simply managed. Being in someone else’s shoes. Really feel heard and known. What is it about circling that brings about the experience of real connection? In circling, we really acknowledge ourselves as nervous systems that are inherently open to the world (permeable and transparent to it). When I look at you, I can actually start to imagine what it is like to be in your nervous system. I can start to sense what you are afraid of, how what I am saying impacts you, etc. In all deep levels of conversation and intimacy, what we are saying to the other is “I am close to knowing, understanding, and caring about what you care about”. And in caring about each other, we find out what WE really care about. When we tune in this closely, it is almost as if someone could ask you to make a decision as if you were the other person, and you would feel like you could! Of course, there is a critical line between feeling as though you know someone through being present with them, and believing you know someone. How do you know that you have an assumption? You don’t! Assumptions are inherently places we are unaware - if we know about it, then it isn’t an assumption anymore! Assumptions are a natural reaction to being in relation and we all have and hold them! And they are not to be feared or shamed - in fact, we can even look forward to moments of dissonance. Once an assumption is named, it then becomes great information and material for exploring. What if instead of trying to get to right and wrong (which inevitably leads to repression or argument), you got curious? What if your response to being triggered was to become curious about you, about your partner, about your relationship and what is happening to you, them, and the couple in that moment!? What to do when the record stops. Okay, so everything is going swell, and then all of a sudden the record screeches to a halt, and you and your partner are in a disagreement. How we respond in that moment is going to make a huge impact on how the next moment will unfold. Try letting go of proving who is right and who is wrong- and instead, choose curiosity. What exactly is curiosity? Curiosity is the first thing to go when we contract, and one of the primary aspects of being open. Whatever curiosity actually is, it is deeply connected to our level of openness. And of course, the moments when it would be generative and helpful to be curious are exactly the times when we do not feel it. And so we must choose it. Leaning in: Choosing curiosity might look like this: 1. Acknowledge (with the intention to relate) that something just happened, and 2) Ask your partner: What just happened, for you? What was the impact on you of what I just said/did? How did that occur to you? What did _____ mean to you? How did you take that? Demonstrate that you actually care by showing your intention to really know them. Asking these leaning in questions affirms and acknowledges their otherness, and that you are a being that has no authority to know what they are feeling or thinking, but that you want to share and know! Leaning forward and in with our questions and attention is an act of offering to someone our deep desire to fully understand them. We cannot force intimacy to happen - we can only invite it out! Sometimes when we ask such direct questions, we will be met with “I don’t know”. Honor this - it is a reminder that we cannot force closeness. We cannot manage or take away how our partner is experiencing us, and you must remember to make space for them to share with you what is actually happening inside their world.  If someone does not want or is unable to share with us how they are feeling, you can try to ask a follow up question: “Huh, you don’t know? I’m imagining that you are too mad to talk right now, is that true? Or perhaps in asking you how that was for you you feel invaded, or pressured? Is that true for you?” When someone reveals what is true for them, it is an act of their own human freedom, and so when they don’t, we can only respect their individuality and sometimes, share our personal experience: “When you said you don’t know, I just noticed that I was feeling some anxiety in my chest and I started to lean forward more”. This type of sharing - the kind that reveals what is happening inside of us - is unarguable. When we share from this place we gift our partner insight into a space that is wholly, and holy, us. Thus inviting intimacy, and aliveness! Intimacy is a function of our ability to tolerate anxiety. You can’t separate wetness from water - in the same way, you can’t have intimacy without discomfort. We spend a lot of energy trying to not say truths that we feel might push our partner away. In submitting, controlling, dominating, or dissociating from discomfort we diminish the possibility of intimacy and aliveness. It becomes harder and harder to be ourselves, and we end up risking connection for fear of disconnection. When instead, we share our truth and take that risk, we grow! And yes, it is unpredictable, and yes, it is anxiety producing because it immerses us in a reality that anything could happen. And yet, to have more and more depth and competence in our relationships- we need to just jump in and even invite in more ambiguity! Although scary and uncomfortable in the moment, the times when we share what is really happening for us, we begin to create a deep and genuine sense of security in our relationships. Life is about reaching out to become what it is. By entering into unknown, unpredictable, and uncontrollable territory together, you learn and build what your connection really is.  If i am continually willing to be myself, and willing to let you be yourself, then we may actually find out what is really true for us. This is the case because we are not known selves when we enter relationships. As is implicit in nature, in biology, in wherever life unfolds, relationships are a constant becoming. And to become, there must be some friction, or dissonance. Look at evolution! If all had gone perfectly, there would still only be single celled organisms! When life is introduced to irritation, it creates itself in higher order of complexity. Life becomes itself through interactions with discord. This is true in relationships as well. We ourselves are revealed in moments of relational tension. Our reactions and responses are a feedback loop that tells us what is important, and what makes our heart hurt, and grow. Staying present, and being willing to be in the unknown, will inevitably lead to a surprising new sense of aliveness and closeness!   A TIP for kickass dating - In dating, we are constantly screening the present for clues about how we will feel in the future. Becoming masterful of noticing and illuminating how a conversation is actually going automatically translates into kickass dating! It will help you embrace the anxiety in the moment in a way that is fun. Step into the curiosity and ask yourself “What am I going to learn about myself from this person?” TRY THIS AT HOME: In a relationship you care about (with your primary partner or other), simply see what happens when you introduce your experience of what is happening right now, in the relationship. “Right now i am noticing you…. And it makes me feel …..”. Then just pause and find out what happens. Notice that by the time you finish your sentence you don’t know what will happen next! A lot of the time we speak to each other in order to know what will happen after we talk... instead, be willing to move away from triangular conversation- and generously name what is happening for you right now. More specifically, try to bring a practice of gratitude into moment to moment interactions. “I am grateful right now for this moment we are having” or “I’m noticing how you are leaning right now, and I’m feeling so touched by it”. Etc. Remember- every single moment holds the possibility of growth! A present focus invites this sense of aliveness! Resources If you are interested in coaching email Guy at guysengstock@gmail.com To read some of Guy’s writings check out his website!   To learn more about being trained in Circling check out their website www.neilsattin.com/circlecircle Visit to download the show guide, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the show guide to this episode with Guy Sengstock and be entered to qualify for a free two-hour couching session! Our Relationship Alive Community on Facebook Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out!  

Dr. Keith Witt is a Licensed Psychologist, teacher, and author who has lived and worked in Santa Barbara, CA. for over forty years. Dr. Witt is the founder of The School of Love, at www.drkeithwitt.com, where he offers his five Books, his six hour audio class Loving Completely, the School of Love Lecture Series, blogs, Therapist in the Wild webseries, and Integral Conversations audios and videos on health/love/relationship/sexuality/spirituality/development/psychotherapy related topics. He has given three TEDx talks, all available on his website. (These are Show Notes: Be sure to listen to the episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.) Dr. Keith Witt talks with us about our evolution and development. He incorporates several different disciplines to offer a rich and comprehensive approach to relationships, love, sexuality, and intimacy. He talks about pain, suffering, and trauma in life and relationship. “Being responsible means at the point something happens we start working to make it better in a healthy way. We have this power…focused intent and action, in service of principle and driven by result is a super power.” Dr. Keith Witt MENTIONED Dr. Keith Witt (website) Integral Mindfulness: Clueless to Dialed in – How Integral Mindful Living Makes Everything Better (amazon link) Loving Completely (video series) The School Of Love (video series) Patricia Albere and Evolutionary Collective (website) James Masterson (wikipedia) Survey: How To Improve Empowered Relationship (survey) If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Thank you so much for your desire to learn more about higher consciousness in relationships. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!  If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.

Are you curious about ways to build intimacy that aren’t about sex or being sexual? Have you had hints of feeling a deep connection with your partner, and are you interested to know how you might be able to deepen that connection even further? My guest today is Patricia Albere of the Evolutionary Collective, an internationally-known organization devoted to mutual awakening between individuals, and the development of a shared consciousness that transcends our individual (separate) consciousnesses. With over 40 years of experience working with individuals on their growth and personal development, Patricia branched out to explore how individuals could connect more deeply with others. Today we discuss her work in the context of romantic partnership, although the exercises that you will be learning could be applied with anyone - not just your significant other. In today’s society, especially with so many of us focused on our personal growth, there’s a danger of our becoming TOO individuated - separated from each other like islands of highly developed people. However, once you get to that point, you have an opportunity to connect with others on a profoundly deep level, by “waking up the space between you” and creating shared consciousness. In relationships, we’ve had a goal of creating an unconditional, accepting love. However, Patricia calls upon us to love in a way that also demands - where we demand that our partner show up fully, where we call them forth to be their biggest and brightest selves. One of Patricia’s practices is to align yourself so that she space opens up between you and your partner.  It’s one of her Eight Principles and is called “mutual engagement” - being a total yes to the emerging experience that you’re having with someone in the moment. The basic practice consists of 30 minutes: For the first 10 minutes, one person is the questioner, who asks “What are you experiencing right now?” The other person responds with what they’re experiencing right then, in that moment - if possible tuning in not to stories about what’s happening, but naming the aspects of experience that are occurring right there in that moment. If they get stuck, the questioner asks again, simply “What are you experiencing right now?” After asking the question, the job of the questioner is to “place their consciousness inside their partner”. This is the kind of thing that will make more sense as you try it - like a nascent ability that you may not have even known that you have, but that will evolve and develop as you put it into practice. As the other person says what they’re experiencing right now, can you get into their experience? After 10 minutes of this, switch roles. After another 10 minutes, you enter a “popcorn” round where you each are tuning into what you’re experiencing - at any moment each of you can speak to “we are experiencing…” After that - take a moment to feel through where you’re at! This shared consciousness can happen with people who aren’t lovers and even with pets! You do need a willing partner to conduct the experiment. The practice can be a “big step beyond” the normal relationship and lead to a deepened, ever-expanding intimacy. You and your partner can take on greater responsibility and intimacy as difficulties and traumas arise in life—all because you share consciousness. If you have a strong foundation, for instance, you can try this technique when you are confronting a problem area in your relationship. If you have a problem, see if you can really get inside the experience that your partner is having. What light and understanding does the shared consciousness bring to the situation? Patricia speaks about “loving the truth.”  You have to be a “yes” to what IS. Once you are a “yes” to the truth of your experience, there is an enormous dynamic energy available to you in your life. However, the moment you become inauthentic in your relationship, that’s the moment that you’re no longer in relationship. At that point, you have made the decision to stay separate and not let the other person into your consciousness.  Hard to share consciousness when you have secrets that you’re hiding away - since you might not want to let someone in under those circumstances! Links and Resources: www.evolutionarycollective.com   (Patricia’s website) www.mutual-awakening.com  (a free 77-page ebook available!) Free Mutual Awakening Calls with Patricia Albere Patricia has online courses, holds virtual retreats every three months, does 3-day intensive orientations for mutual awakening, and hosts a year-long program that starts every January.  Visit her website for details! www.neilsattin.com/patricia is the direct link to this episode. Visit to download the show guide, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the show guide. If you download the guide within the first week of this episode's airing, you are automatically qualified for a chance to win Patricia Albere’s Mutual Trust course - a $197 value! Our Relationship Alive Community on Facebook   Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out!

Click on the show title to read more and listen... Patricia Albere is on the cutting-edge of the cutting-edge of Conscious Evolution. Committed to Transformation since her early 20’s, she has had the privilege of intimately interacting with tens of thousands of people over the last four decades. Her current work focuses on the intentional generation and utilization of the “We Space” -- the next step in human Self-Expression. Dr. David feels a deep kinship with Patricia, and they have followed quite a similar Path in this lifetime. Patricia’s personal story is shared in the context of her current ground-breaking work (which is done in concert with Jeff Carreira). The conversation has the feeling of a “fine wine” … going down smooth and easy. The post David Kamnitzer (http://www.cuttingedgedoc.com) .

Patricia Albere is at ground zero of an evolutionary stream of spiritual awakening. One in which we learn to go beyond individual psychology and transformation into a new space of mutual awakening or ‘inter-being’ or ‘we-mysticism’.She is the founder and director of the Evolutionary Collective and an internationally known contemporary spiritual teacher and author. Her unique discovery of the essential components that create an awakened ‘we space’ is transforming our understanding of what it possible in the space between us and in creating new fields of higher collective consciousness. Her work creates a powerful field of shared consciousness that reveals previously unimagined potentials for human development that can and is moving humanity far beyond the limits of personal growth. She has worked with over 150,000 people in groups in the last 40 years. Her mastery as a transformative teacher is now innovating a new field of ‘inter-subjective awakening’ and post-personal development.To Learn more about Patricia go to www.evolutionarycollective.com or www.patriciaalbere.com

Founder and director of the Evolutionary Collective and internationally known comtemporary spiritual teacher and author, Patricia Albere will discuss with us her ideas on the necessity for humanity's Mutual Awakening!   We'll learn what "mutual awakening" actually is, how liikely it is we might achieve it and how to go about working toward that goal.  We'll discuss "wespace" and how that awareness can impact the problems facing the world.  

2pm ET / 1pm CT / 12pm MT / 11am PT (Outside US: Dial 00 + 1 + 714-464-4891) Viki Winterton interviews Patricia Albere!  Patricia Albere is the founder and director of the Evolutionary Collective and an internationally recognized contemporary spiritual teacher and mystic who is passionate about creating a new paradigm for a higher order of human relatedness. Her work awakens others to the profound depths and infinite wisdom accessed by way of two or more people connected to larger and more powerful evolutionary forces.  

"Real transformation means that a person's life is irrevocably changed in a way that empowers them to fulfill their highest potentials.” - Patricia Albere Tune in as Patricia Albere joins Sister Jenna on the America Meditating Radio Show! Patricia Albere is the founder and director of the Evolutionary Collective and an internationally recognized contemporary spiritual teacher and mystic passionate about creating a new paradigm for a higher order of human relatedness. For the past 40 years, Patricia's teachings arise from being finely attuned to the transformational power of emergence – that which occurs on the edge of consciousness, culture and human awakening. Her work with collective fields of consciousness has been developed through her continuous work with groups and over 150,000 people internationally. Patricia co-teaches in New York with philosopher, teacher and writer, Jeff Carreira who was a past guest on the America Meditating Radio Show and she is the co-author of the book, “Mutual Awakening: Opening into a New Paradigm of Human Relatedness. Visit www.evolutionarycollective.com for more info. Get the OFF TO WORK CD by Sister Jenna.  Like America Meditating on FB, follow us on Twitter.

Join Life Coach Ade with his special guests Patricia Albere and Jeff Carreira for “Transformative Power of Mutual Awakening” on the Ask Life Coach Ade Radio Show. We come from a culture that relishes the “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” thinking and rugged individualism. However, the Lone Ranger was not always alone. He had a friend on the journey. While we appreciate our independence, the world is calling for us to expand and experience what it means to be interdependent. We truly need each other. Join Patricia Albere and Jeff Carreira for a powerful conversation about how to create sacred experiences, when we surrender to being more.Together, they co-authored  Mutual Awakening: Spiraling Upward Into New Levels of Consciousness Through the Intensity of Shared Experience. Call in 347 426 3346 or post your questions on "Ask Life Coach Ade Radio Show" fan (LIKE) page on Facebook. Also, don't miss Celestial Moment with Celeste Morgan. She offers the energy of the day! For more information about Life Conversations Radio visit www.LifeConversationsMedia.com 

Our guest, Patricia Albere is a spiritual teacher, founder & director of the Evolutionary Collective, & co-author of MUTUAL AWAKENING: Opening to a New Paradigm of Human Relatedness. Who are we at our core? Who is the “essential you” that has always been there – at your point of origination, where your being starts…? Patricia Albere says, "Awakening consciousness leads us to wisdom within. AND, Mutual awakening leads us to wisdom of the collective." Have you noticed how we walk the planet in isolation? Even in our uber-connected world, we see thousands of people pass on the street every day--barely noticing each other or their environment. Just how aware are we that Ordinary Consciousness is based in separation? Patricia’s lifelong inquiry into human potential has brought her to an entirely new understanding of unity-consciousness opening a collective knowing or intuition that is truly always there for us. “Do you want to be a sommelier of human beingness?”

Dr. Mercy interviews Patricia Albere and Jeff Carreira, authors of Mutual Awakening: Opening a New Paradigm of Human Relatedness, about their search for a new field of relatedness that transcends the individual potential movement. Within their organization, the Evolutionary Collective, they are creating groups of persons prepared to form an ‘inner net’ or ‘we cloud’ of shared consciousness. Patricia was … Read more about this episode...

Join us as we’ll discuss: A whole new possibility of relatedness that could change your lives.A few of the 10 principles of an Evolutionary relationship.The Power of influence. Patricia Albere is a transformation educator & contemporary spiritual teacher. For the last 40 years, her teaching arises from being finely attuned to the transformational power of emergence – that which occurs on the edge of consciousness, culture and human awakening. Her work with collective fields of consciousness has been developed through her continuous work with groups and over 150,000 people internationally. Her unique discovery of the essential components that activate evolutionary relating is transforming our understanding of what it possible in the space between us and in creating new fields of higher collective consciousness. Albere is the founder of the Evolutionary Collective, a new model for awakened community. The Evolutionary Collective marks the creation and ongoing expansion of an inter-subjective field of intimacy, truth, mutuality and depth that occurs in a new space in consciousness – one that allows participants to transform inside an intense and accelerated relational field. To learn more about Patricia Albere go to www.evolutionarycollective.com.

Dr. Kurt Johnson has worked in science and spirituality for over 40 years.  This dual career in science and spirituality is detailed at WIKIPEDIA.  In spirituality, Kurt is co-author of the recently published book The Coming Interspiritual Age, with David Robert Ord, the Editorial Director of Namaste Publishing (publishers of such spiritual teachers as Eckhart Tolle and Michael Brown). As a New Release, the book has been in Amazon’s Top Ten in Spirituality. Kurt was originally a Christian monk and founded, with Br. Wayne Teasdale and others, the InterSpiritual Dialogue Association for discussion of contemplative experience across traditions. Ordained in three spiritual traditions, he works also with The Contemplative Alliance and Integral Communities. In science, Kurt is the co-author of the best-selling Nabokov's Blues: The Scientific Odyssey of a Literary Genius, with Steve Coates of The New York Times, which was a Top Ten Book in science in 2000. Kurt’s PhD is in evolution, ecology, systematics and comparative biology.  Associated with the American Museum of Natural History (30 yrs.). He published 200+ articles on evolution and ecology, including the 2011 Harvard DNA sequence study vindicating Vladimir Nabokov’s views of evolution. He is currently completing another book on Nabokov’s science and art for Yale University Press.  However, Kurt’s primary interest is the simplicity of nondual spiritual practice. Kurt now hosts The CONVERGENCE SERIES on VoiceAmerica, a series joining the millennial message of the Wisdom Traditions and the many passion areas of the United Nations' Sustainable Development Goals, spirituality and science.  Ken Wilber frames the Series and guests well known to BATGAP include Deepak Chopra, Rob Bell, Brian McLaren, Karenna Gore, Michael Dowd, Duane Elgin, Gregg Braden, Fr. Thomas Keating, Steve Farrell, Karuna, Patricia Albere, David Nicol, Loch Kelly and Grammy Nominees Pato Banton and Ras I Ray.  The website provides information on every episode including additional materials from the co-hosts and guests. Other organizations with which Kurt is involved: UNITY EARTH The Interspiritual Network Light on Light Magazine Interspiritual Dialogue 'n Action The Coming Interspiritual Age From Self-Care to Earth-Care Convergence Magazine Interview recorded 1/12/2013 Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.

Jesse Herriott is joined this week by Patricia Albere, the founder of the Evolutionary Collective (EC), a new model for awakened community. Patricia Albere is an internationally recognized transformational educator and contemporary spiritual teacher who is passionate about turning people onto the power of Evolutionary Relationships, as well as the large-scale transformation available through new forms of collective consciousness. For the past 40 years, she has taught from the emerging edge of consciousness, awakening others to the profound depths and infinite wisdom accessed by way of two or more people connected to larger and more powerful evolutionary forces. 

Patricia Albere, internationally recognized transformational educator and contemporary spiritual teacher, will be Larry’s guest on Evolution in Consciousness on April 19. In addition to running and facilitating the Evolutionary Collective, a transformational educational institute dedicated to helping people manifest new levels of creativity, relationship, and collective consciousness, Patricia also hosts her own radio show, Evolutionary Collective Conversations, and teaches Evolutionary Relationships, a 7-week course that allows people to step into a different realm of relating. Tune in to what promises to be an exciting and fast-moving hour

Do you know someone who is depressed and needs support? Communication is key in any relationship. Join Sallie Felton and her husband, Conway as they speak candidly with Patricia Albere who is an internationally recognized pioneer and teacher, championing Evolutionary Relationships in our intimate, social and professional lives — offering a way of experiencing one […] The post A Fresh Start – What the Heck are Evolutionary Relationships; And how does that relate with Depression? appeared first on WebTalkRadio.net.

Evolutionary Relationship is our "ideal ' way of interacting that includes love, trust and sharing rather than competition, aggression and jealousy. Our guest, Patricia Albere,.is an internationally recognized pioneer and teacher and she is the founder of the Evolutionary Collective, a transformational education institute focused on discovering what's possible through our connection, collective consciousness and creativity.

Patricia Albere, an internationally recognized pioneer and teacher, championing Evolutionary Relationships in our intimate, social and professional lives.

Patricia Albere has been a spiritual teacher and course leader, focused on the leading edge of consciousness for the last 37 years. In this show we explore The Optimizing Force. This evolutionary impulse brings forth all manifestation. It is pure creativity and dynamism.  It is attuned, intelligent, alive, aware and responsive. We don’t need to make things happen – we need to listen and align with certain conditions that will allow the optimizing force to maximize all aspects of our experience and our lives.

In 1987, when I was completing my training in the Bonny Method of Guided Imagery and Music, I wrote a paper about the power of relationships for personal transformation. My life has been devoted to the personal and the collective power of transformation. So, when in a chance conversation with Patricia Albere, we began to talk about what is possible for humanity, I immediately invited her have a conversation on Wisdom Talk Radio.1.  the longing that was first ignited in your heart2.  the connection between the intimacy of the relationship between Self and Presence, and the intimacy between people3.  the Mutual Awakening Process and awakening our potential4.  the experience of an Evolutionary RelationshipPatricia Albere is at ground zero of an evolutionary stream of spiritual awakening where we learn to go beyond individual psychology and transformation into a new space of mutual, intersubjective awakening.She is the founder of the Evolutionary Collective, originator of the Mutual Awakening Practice, an internationally known contemporary spiritual teacher, and bestselling author of Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Transformative Power of Mutual Awakening.  Her unique discovery of the essential components that create an awakened ‘we space’ is transforming our understanding of what is possible in the space between us.Find Patricia at: https://evolutionarycollective.com/Find Laurie and the Creative Innovator Quiz at: https://thebacainstitute.com/Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/wisdom-talk-radio/donations