Podcast appearances and mentions of Simon Morris

What does it take to keep one of the world's most iconic creative brands relevant, human, and globally resonant — 40 years on?In this episode, we sit down with Simon Morris, VP of International Marketing at Adobe, to explore how Adobe blends creativity, technology, and purpose in its brand strategy. From sponsoring the Women's FA Cup to navigating the ethics of AI, Simon shares how Adobe empowers creators, drives global consistency with local nuance, and builds a creative culture across continents.We cover:Why Adobe's Women's FA Cup sponsorship is about more than just brand awarenessHow Adobe stays ahead in a hyper-competitive, AI-driven landscapeWhat vulnerable leadership looks like in a high-performance global teamTune in for a thoughtful look at how marketing can inspire, connect, and lead - even at scale.

Simon Morris regrets the passing of the old-fashioned film star, and reviews two movies featuring one-time “stars of tomorrow” – Ana de Armas in Ballerina, and Prime Video's The Assessment, starring Elizabeth Olsen and Alicia Vikander. And from Wales, an indie film with no stars to speak of, Chuck Chuck Baby.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris finds himself confused by flashbacks, dream sequences – and Wes Anderson's convoluted story structures. He sets out through the thickets of The Phoenician Scheme, Bring Her Back and New Zealand road-movie Kōkā. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris looks at three different films with one thing in common. They all feature “chosen families” - an Irish rowing team in Tarrac… an extended family of sisters, neighbours and a mischievous alien in Lilo and Stitch… and Bob Trevino Likes It – where a lonely young woman is let down by her real father and finds a better one online. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris tests the two methods of movie financing – betting a few dollars on small films like Mexican art-film La Cocina and English real-life memoir The Salt Path… or taking a huge plunge on a blockbuster like Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris checks out two films based on well-known material - just not well-known by him! Irish film Lies We Tell is a 19th century thriller, The Wedding Banquet is a remake of one of Ang Lee's first films. He also previews the upcoming French Film Festival Aotearoa. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris has one of those weeks where you need to do your own research. Looking up the minor villains that make up Thunderbolts*…. Brushing up his knowledge of Kiwi household name Marlon Williams…. And struggling to remember an eight-year-old thriller about an autistic accountant. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris goes off the beaten track this week, including two features found on streaming services – Netflix's Havoc and Prime Video's My Old Ass. He also finds a surprising number of self-funded New Zealand movies this month, including romantic comedy The People We Love. He talks to director Mike Smith about the pros and cons of independence.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris occasionally finds himself out of his comfort zone - but not this week. Three films right up his alley – a true story of a journalist arrested for doing his job, The Correspondent… a straight, old-fashioned thriller, The Amateur… and The Penguin Lessons, a blend of Steve Coogan, a military coup in Argentina and a penguin.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris realizes people go to the cinema for different things. Some go for the humble “movie”, some for the elevated “film”, some for the even more pretentious “cinema”. Which are this week's choices: the Portuguese Grand Tour… Queer, starring Daniel Craig… and horror-comedy Death of a Unicorn, with Paul Rudd and Jenna Ortega?Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris looks at films about rebellion – from Iranian Oscar nominee The Seed of the Sacred Fig, to the biopic of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German cleric who tried to stand up to Hitler. And The Return is a new take on one of the oldest stories ever written, Homer's Odyssey. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris joins the rest of the world in being unimpressed by the new Snow White, though he wonders how much worse it is from a string of Disney cover-versions over the years. He also checks out The Last Showgirl, featuring the return of Pamela Anderson, and New Zealand horror film The Rule of Jenny Pen, with an A-List cast. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris accepts that, for all the hard work of everyone on a movie, most people are just looking at the actors. Three character studies this week, including Mike Leigh's Hard Truths, based on weeks of actors' improvisations… Black Bag, in which a spy investigates six possible traitors, including his own wife... and the last – and some say the best – of the Six Wives of Henry the Eighth, Catherine Parr in Firebrand.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris looks at life after the glitter of the recent Oscars, in particular three more modest films, all coincidentally connected to earlier hits. Sci-fi comedy Mickey 17 is the belated followup to Korean hit Parasite. Spit follows a character from Australian crime spoof Gettin' Square. And the villain from tear-jerker Wonder learns a lesson from Grandma in White Bird.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris glances at the recent Oscars, and finally gets to see the last nominee for Best Picture, Amazon Prime's Nickel Boys. Also on this, the Millenial At The Movies, Swedish mockumentary The Last Journey, and a new take on legendary Swiss hero William Tell.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

2 mars 2025 | Luk 18:31-34 | Simon Morris by Misjonssalen Oslo

1. mars | Hebreerbrevet | Simon Morris by Misjonssalen Oslo

Simon Morris checks out another week entirely devoted to women-driven movies, and wonders if, finally, it's no longer an issue. They include Mozart's Sister, Neneh Superstar, New Zealand-Samoan feelgood tale Tinā, and Oscar-nominee I'm still here. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris looks at two films with a lot riding on them – the new Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy, and the introduction of a new Captain America: Brave New World. But he wonders if Andrea Arnold's miniscule Bafta nominee, Bird, might be a more helpful way to go.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Multiple organs are played at the All Saints Sunday Eucharist.A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. It's been a while, but now we return to our good friends at Saint Michael's CE church;"Dear Brothers & Sisters," Reverend Simon Morris stood in the pulpit and began his sermon."Well first of all, special thanks to Gordon for that fine voluntary and hymn, and to My wife's cousin, Miya, for playing the Gloria. We have an organist and an organist-in-training! As I'm sure you're aware, my wife Jenna, has kindly agreed to stand in for Raymond Wilson, the organist at Oakwood Road Methodist Church, who is recovering from surgery.Also as you may have noticed, we are joined by Reverend Horatius Fletcher, an old friend who mentored me back when I was studying for my degree in theology many, many years ago!"The man in question was sat behind the vicar, at the side of the organ and clad in full robes. He looked a lot older than he probably was. He smiled and nodded. "You were a good student; well, most of the time!"A chorus of sniggers erupted from the assembled congregation."Did he step out of a Dickens novel?" someone whispered. "He's got the perfect name for one.""From the look of him, he was an old 'un when Queen Victoria were a mere slip of a girl!" came the witty reply.The fella in the pew behind them added; "Aye, he listened to one too many sermons. That's what we'll look like by the end of this service.""And now we turn to events in the Christian calendar.” Reverend Morris continued. “We've entered November, & the month of remembrance: All Saints, All Souls, and, of course, Remembrance Sunday. It is always necessary to remember important events which have gone before, because, as has been said, those who don't remember history are doomed to repeat it. This year we studied on Sundays, and in our Bible reflection group, the Book of Exodus;“There was much coughing and shuffling of feet as the congregation braced themselves for another of the vicar's famously long and tedious sermons.Over at the organ loft, Miya was thinking some less-than-holy ways of spicing up this dull part of the service."I was so nervous playing the Gloria," she whispered to Gordon, who was sat next to her on the organ stool. "My first time playing in front of the congregation."In the four months she'd been practicing, Miya had learnt a lot, but there was still a heck of a long way to go."You were fantastic," Gordon replied, reassuring his much-younger girlfriend. "I knew you could do it.""The next hymn;” Miya paused. “I'm not sure if;“"Want me to play it?" Gordon offered her a break."If you don't mind.""No worries." Gordon adjusted his music sheets. The next hymn was The King of Love My Shepherd Is, set to the tune of St Columba."Think I need to relax my fingers a little," Miya continued. "All that pressing down; I need something to squeeze. My palms have gone sweaty and hot." Her right hand slipped over to his thigh and squeezed it."Now lass," Gordon muttered. "Why do I get the feeling you're itching to play a different organ?"She gave him that grin; the one that meant serious naughtiness. How he loved that grin.Meanwhile, the vicar's sermon continued. "As St Paul wrote in Ephesians 2: 'Jesus is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross.' The Cross of Christ makes peace possible. The Cross of Christ can make brothers out of enemies."With one hand, Gordon pushed her closer and slid his tongue into her mouth. Miya could feel his hands trailing the skin of her arse, exploring under her skirt.Her gasp was soft, but keen. Gordon's lip twitched in amusement.She lead his fingers further into the wetness underneath her knickers."Oh, Gordy-pie, I want you in me;“ Miya moaned in delinquent need.With an arched brow, the organist huskily whispered, "Oh yes? Which part of me do you reckon?" Miya giggled.He slid one broad finger into her velvety wetness and twisted in her, prodding her delicate fondness. Clearly the soft groan she emitted was not a sign of complaint."Hmm; so wet already." His voice was deep and playful. He proceeded to glide one more finger into her and goaded her clit with his thumb. His fingering orchestrated gratifying sounds from her.Miya released a ragged breath. "Oh, Gordy;“Reverend Morris raised his hands. "Another lesson we've learnt from the Book of Exodus is that God cares for all who are oppressed. I'm reminded of something I read online the other day, concerning the terrible conflict that is currently occurring in the Holy Land. Brothers and sisters, we are not to be so heavenly-minded that we are no earthly use; nor are we to be so focused on the world that we forget in whose image we have been made;“Norman the churchwarden stifled a yawn and leant against a pillar. He preferred to stand rather than sit, given that his buttocks were frequently tender due to repeated whippings from Mrs. Wilcox. He checked his watch and couldn't help but sigh to himself as the vicar droned on and made his weekly request for everyone to "pray for peace." It seemed rather futile, given the depressing news headlines he'd watched this morning. Still, one had to keep the faith.A tap on his arm brought him to his senses."Thought you'd like to know, Norm dearie, that I've ordered some certain little items off the interweb. You and I are going to have a day at the races.""Can't wait Gladys! Tuesday's out though - remember you agreed to hold the Parochial church council meeting at your place.""Haven't forgotten that," the old lady replied, and winked at him. He bit his lip, wondering what she had planned. A day at the races? That was sure to involve that trusty riding crop again. What on earth had she been buying online?"You know Gordon; when I see you wearing that black gown, it always does it for me." Miya's voice trembled as he created persistent strokes that intensified her squelching sounds. "I; ah; it makes you look like Severus Snape. You know, from Harry Potter?"Gordon wasn't familiar with much of the franchise. "Never got into that. Harry and the Chamber Pot of Afghanistan or something; think that film was repeated on TV recently. You'll have to; enlighten me. Glad you like the robe; it's less restrictive than a surplice, given what you have in mind!"He shifted on the stool and brushed the open-fronted gown off his thighs to give her a clear view of his crotch bulge. His fingers kept diligently working in her, keeping a nice stable rhythm.Miya's eyes widened as she unzipped his black trousers and freed his cock from his y-front underpants. "Gordy, why does it seem bigger than ever in church?" She wrapped her hand around his shaft, barely closing her fist on his girth. His tip glistened with precum."Made to compliment your holy mouth," Gordon remarked saucily. This earned him a squeeze on his shaft and a teasing lick on the head."Ah," he sucked the air between this gritting teeth as Miya tended him with both hands. Stroking. Circling her thumb on his tip. She seductively licked her lips and smiled. Gordon glanced warily at Reverend Morris, who was still in full flow with his sermon. It was fortunate that no-one sat in the pews could see the organist when he was sat at the organ, save for the very top of his head. But from his elevated position in the pulpit, if the vicar were to turn to his right, he'd get a grandstand view."Relax, he's only half-way through the sermon," Miya said. When I was staying at the vicarage, I used to hear him reciting them. They seemed to go on for hours. So boring; even Jenna confessed she dreaded him reading them out to her. Anyways, let's see if you're right about my holy mouth.""Fu; uhm; pardon me," moaned Gordon, halting an expletive due to being in church.He put his hand on Miya's face, gently nudging her along. She took him in carefully, his raging member not fitting entirely in her; . and that's what made it more exciting. She relaxed her throat and managed to take more than half of him. Even though she'd done this many times ever since their relationship began back in June, the rush of excitement every time her mouth touched his cock hadn't dimmed at all. He'd had sex in the church countless times in the past, mostly with the vicar's wife, but never during a service. This was his first time being pleasured during the Sunday Eucharist. That fact served to excite him even more. It was so; wrong, so naughty; so; sinful."Deary, you're so beautiful; especially with me in your mouth," Gordon chuckled. His hips buckled slowly to push his meat deeper into her. Miya winced a little, her gag reflex massaging his girth. "Mmm;“Reverend Fletcher wanted nothing more than to stand up and stretch. His back was aching. The old wooden chair he was sat in was torture, and provided no support."Oh Simon, you never did learn the value of truncating your sermons," he sighed to himself. "When will this bloody lesson endeth?" Being sat further back, behind the pulpit, he had a good view of the choir, who were mostly looking miserable, particularly the younger members, two of whom were furtively glancing at smartphones.He turned to his right and did a double take at what he saw at the organ."To join God's family; in whose image we are made; is not just to take His name, but to start acting as He acts! We are, as Jesus said, to: 'give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's.' Amen!"Reverend Morris ended his sermon, and never had the congregation been more grateful."Miya;“ Gordon stammered, watching his girlfriend's head in his lap, working diligently. "The sermon's over; I'll have to start playing the hymn."Miya moved her hands to unbutton her blouse and revealed her nice perky breasts with pale pink nipples. She plopped his member out of her mouth and rubbed her breasts between them. "Do it then," she smiled."Oh God; I'm not sure I can," Gordon moaned."Please stand for our hymn, The King of Love Our Shepherd Is," Reverend Morris said."Do you like that?" Miya whispered as she licked slowly down Gordon's cock again."Humph; yeah, just like that; right, uh, must play;“ he fumbled with the music sheets. The slight pause before he started was missed by the congregation, as was the wrong note during the first line of the hymn.Gordon licked his lips and tried his best to concentrate on playing. It was difficult for him to press down on the organ's pedalboard due to Miya's head being in his lap and her hands on his thighs. Not to mention, his fingers were wet with her cunt juices.Reverend Fletcher had an even better view now that he was standing up. He watched, mesmerized, as Miya's head bobbed up and down, sucking Gordon's cock almost in time with the music. Glancing at the organist, who by now was red-faced and sweating, he chuckled at the enormous amount of effort he was putting in, in order to remain composed."By jove, two organs being played at once!" He remarked, feeling his ancient cock throb and stiffen back to life. A bigger comeback than Lazarus was occurring under his robes. Reaching into a pocket, he pulled out a smartphone. "One must record such an event; eh, for the good of the church of course." Using the loose sleeves of his robes for cover, he began filming;Reverend Morris came down the steps of the pulpit and failed to noticed the spectacle that had transfixed his mentor. Completely oblivious, he headed over to the altar, to prepare for communion.By the hymn's fifth verse, Gordon's focus was crumbling, as Miya dragged him helplessly towards orgasm.Thou spreadist a table in my sight;thy unction grace bestoweth;and oh, what transport of delightfrom thy pure chalice floweth!"Damn, soon my cum will floweth," Gordon muttered through gritted teeth. These lyrics weren't helping one bit. He was panting and groaning, and luckily the sounds from the mighty pipe organ were masking his expressions of delight.Miya teased the head of his cock and stroked his balls.That touch of hers pushed him over the edge.A kiss on the underside of his shaft was too much.Oh, bloody hell. He was cumming.The final verse of the hymn was marred by several wrong notes played by trembling fingers, as Gordon came. "Ah," he groaned.Thick sprays of warm cum filled Miya's mouth and throat. Fuck, she loved it so much. She felt him twitch in her, and she swallowed every salty, tangy drop.Gordon almost fell backwards off the organ stool, but managed to steady himself in time.Miya kissed the tip of his cock and crawled next to him, trilling softly at the nook of his neck. He tightened his arm around her and stroked her cheek.He whispered. "That was bloody fantastic. I love you so much.""Love you too, my Gordy-pie. I'm so glad I got to play your organ at the Sunday service."Reverend Fletcher stopped filming."Must change these underpants when I get home.""Think Gordon's been on the whiskey," Norman muttered to Mrs. Wilcox, as they sat down. "Not his best performance. He usually plays so perfectly.""Are you sure it wasn't Miya playing?""No, it was definitely Gordon. I can see the top of his head. Can't see Miya sat next to him; maybe she's gone to the loo?""Either that or she was playing a different organ," the old lady smirked."Gladys! You dirty old girl!"Ponyplay and Advent calendars.Monday morning had arrived, but Reverend Fletcher was in no hurry to get up. He lay back on his bed and sighed. His hand fell to his crotch, rubbing his hardening cock. The soft material of his pajamas felt good on his shaft, making him harder, soft groans escaping. He was widowed and lived alone.Closing his eyes, Reverend Fletcher removed his clothing. His hand drifted up and down his cock as his mind imagined beautiful women pleasuring him; one woman in particular. The pretty little thing he'd filmed blowing the organist at St Michael's a few weeks back. Who was she? He simply had to find out. And was Simon Morris aware of what was occurring at his Sunday service? Now that his three week placement as a speaker at a Christian organization in Cardiff was over, he could focus on less holy matters. He was glad to be back home at last."I simply must visit Simon's church again, even though it's a long drive."Meanwhile;Gordon let out a groan as the clock radio switched on and the bedroom was filled with the dulcet tones of Jonah Louie's "Stop the Cavalry.""Mum; bloody Christmas songs! It's only 4th December; uh!" He reached out and switched off the radio. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. Next to him, Miya began to stir. Her arm was draped across his bare chest."Is it time to get up already?" She groaned."Afraid so, me chucky egg," he whispered, planting a kiss on her head. He sighed. He was warm and in a nice, comfy position, although his bladder quickly reminded him that he needed to relieve himself."Looks like it's going to be a cold one today." He slid out of bed, scratched his belly and walked over to the window. Opening the curtains, he shuddered as he noticed the front lawn completely white over with frost. Putting his hands on the radiator, he relaxed as he felt warmth. The central heating had behaved itself and come on normally for once."Did it snow?" Miya asked, rubbing her eyes."Nah. Just very frosty out there. The kind of weather that freezes your bollocks off. Hope the car starts okay. Nice and sunny though. Nice day for a walk over the hills if you're wrapped up. Shame we have to go to work eh?"Gordon's main job consisted of repairing organs, as well as playing one every Sunday. His occupation was a specialized one, and he'd been doing it for nearly thirty years now. During the week, he often drove long distances. He had Wednesday mornings off, in order to play at the short midweek service at St Michael's."Where are you off to today then, Gordy?""Got an organ that's being restored in Lancaster. Nice little two manual one. Lovely sound.""Oh well that's not too far.""I can give you a lift to work. Don't want you hanging around that minging bus stop in this weather. How are you settling in at your workplace?""Thanks! And yeah, it's pretty good. They're a nice bunch. It's interesting hearing where people want to go on their travels."Miya had quit her cleaning job at the vicarage and landed a full-time but temporary job at a local travel agent. It was decent pay and would serve her purpose, whilst she continued her driving lessons."Not long now. I'm sure I'll have that driving license in time for Christmas! Got another lesson tomorrow. I just hope;“Gordon sat on the bed and slipped his arm round her. "You'll pass with flying colors. You've got heart and initiative. I really do admire that; as well as; your other talents!" He winked at her and she knew at once what he was referring to."Mmm. I wish we could have a lie-in," she whispered, teasingly slipping her hand down his y-fronts. Oh well.""Plenty of time for that tonight, you naughty thing! Right," he stood up. "I desperately need to point my organ pipe at the porcelain. My bladder waits for no-one!"She chuckled as he hurried off to the bathroom, then sighed."I wish Mum would accept him," she said. Gordon was the loveliest, nicest man she'd ever met. He was funny, sexy and clever, and made her feel cherished and safe. And she was loving learning to play the pipe organ."Just because he's so much older than me, she thinks he's a bad person. Jenna's cool. Dad is cool with him now. But Mum doesn't even give him a chance. We have so much in common, despite the huge age gap."Miya stood up and began to get dressed. Would her mum ever come round?Cloistered CumReverend Fletcher's small bedroom was filled with the soft slapping of his hand pumping his cock, the low grunts of a man edging closer, and the smell of male arousal. His moans grew as the pressure in his balls and cock did. With a deep grunt from him, thick cum shot from his cock.As the reverend's hips bucked slightly from the orgasm, spurt after spurt of cum continued to shoot forth."Ah. Praise be to God. And that lass from St Michael's;“Special Delivery"About time!" Mrs. Wilcox exclaimed, as she spotted a delivery van pulling up outside. "Those articles I ordered online for us. I was beginning to think they'd be lost in the post forever. It's been three weeks! The website said they were dispatched, and I've sent so many emails. I should've got Dwaine to chivvy them up a bit;“"You mean threaten them, more like. I know that grandson of yours. Bit of a wide boy." Norman cautiously sipped a cup of tea."He's a good lad, really. A bit of GBH, buying on the dark web, hacking and benefit fraud in the past. But he's moved on. Runs his own gym. And he's so good with computers.""Aye. Good with his fists. Anyways, you can't trust these online sellers," he muttered. He was both nervous and excited at what awaited him in the package.There was a knock on the door."I'll go," Mrs. Wilcox, said, standing up with surprising speed. "Finish your cuppa. You'll need it;“A few moments later, she returned to the living room, carrying a large box."Can you manage, Gladys?" Norman asked."Oh quite easily, Norm. "It's lighter than I imagined. Let's get it open with all haste!"She giggled like a naughty schoolgirl. Norman fetched a craft knife and began cutting the brown parcel tape off the box."Now the fun begins," Mrs. Wilcox smiled, flinging aside a layer of bubble wrap. "Here we have a;“ She pulled out a My Little Pony advent calendar."Oh that's cute," Norman replied. "A job lot of advent calendars! A bit girly for my tastes, but I bet the Sunday school kids will adore them; even though we're already in December, so they're out of date. Funny, when you said we were going to have a day at the races, I thought you had something rude in mind!""What the devil; thirty My Little Pony advent calendars? I didn't order these!" the old lady gasped. "Oh no, there must've been some sort of mix up at the sorting office or something.""There's a folded up piece of paper down the side," Norman said, picking it up. "Hmm, it says that these calendars were purchased by the Mother's Union. Wait a sec; Old Rectory Road? Oh blimey, that's the address of our church!""Oh dearie me; then there could be some red faces in the church hall;“"Gladys; just what exactly did you buy online?""Well; a selection of lubricants, some bondage equipment, whips, horse penis-shaped dildos, masks, that sort of thing, ponyplay items; by sheer chance I came across this site called Happy Pony Fantasy.""Let me guess. There'll be an invoice in the box of stuff that's ended up at the church hall; with your name and address on it?""Address yes; um, but I used your name. I've been a very bad girl."Norman slapped his head. "Oh Gladys! I'd better rush over there right away and try and intercept that parcel!"To be continued in part 2. By Blacksheep. For Literotica

The unaccounted-for dildos.A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. At St Michael's church hall, Jenna was making the most of her day off from work. That was the good thing about being part-time. Getting Mondays off. The downside? Monday was the day her husband started writing his sermon. In desperation, she'd agreed to help the ladies of the Mother's Union out at the church hall. It was more interesting than listening to Simon read out long paragraphs. The MU ladies were elderly, but fun to talk too. And boy, did they love to gossip. As a vicar's wife, she'd become privy to all sorts of information. However, Jenna wasn't one for such tittle-tattle, and would just politely humor the nosey old dears."Excuse me, a stressed-looking delivery man said, knocking on the church hall door. Parcel here for St Michael's Mother's Union?""Hi! I'll take that off your hands," Jenna said. "I have a feeling this is the box of long overdue advent calendars everyone's been moaning about.""Nothing to do with me," the man replied. "Blame the guys at the other end. We're short-staffed.""I understand," Jenna replied, signing for the parcel. "You're doing a wonderful job. Have a wonderful Christmas!""Uh; cheers," the man muttered, not used to compliments."No use selling these at the Christmas Fair seeing as that was yesterday, and we're four days into December." Jenna said, as she set the box on a table. "What can we do with thirty advent calendars? I know. I could extract all the chocolate pieces, recycle the packaging; put the chocolate in a big bowl and the children could help themselves at next week's service;“She opened the box and got a shock at what was contained within."Holy; she;“"I say, Mrs. Morris, whatever's that?"Jenna jumped as one of the Mother's Union members returned from the hall kitchen."Er, hello Mrs. Grimes it's a;“"A horse's saddle? What ruddy great twerp donated that?""Um;“"We've had some strange donations over the years, but this! It takes the biscuit! Just look at this!" She rummaged in the box and pulled out a riding crop, mask and blinkers. "A job lot of horse tack! Did Frankie Dettori donate it?""Perhaps?" Jenna replied, trying to keep a straight face as the elderly woman held up an enormous purple dildo, shaped like a horse penis, and looked at it in utter confusion."This must be for giving liquid medicine to horses.""Last year, someone donated a bus stop sign, a chamber pot and a false leg," another woman piped up. "The bus stop sign was really popular. We got fifty quid for it.""How ridiculous!" Mrs. Grimes replied. "We can't sell this at the Advent tombola. No horsey folk round here. You might as well take it down to the charity shop; or mail it to Aintree racecourse;“"Er; I'll stick to the charity shop, Mrs. Grimes. Think of the postage cost.""Ah, yes. Good thinking. Right, well, I'll leave it up to you then.""I'll get rid of it," Jenna said, then spotted an invoice. Unfolding it, her eyes widened. "Shit; I must get this stuff to Norman before anyone else sees it and realizes what it actually is!" She chuckled. "I bet Gladys is behind it! Absolutely shameless!"Jenna admired the old lady. "I hope I can have fun like that if I live to be as old as her. She's got the right attitude."Hurrying out of the church hall with the big box, she didn't look where she was going and bumped into someone."Oh, I'm so sorry!" she spluttered, as the box fell to the ground, some of its contents tumbling out."That's quite alright, you look loaded up," the man replied. "Ah! Simon's dear wife. Nice to meet you again, my dear!" He shook her hand."Oh; Reverend Fletcher! If you're looking for Simon, he's at the vicarage, writing his;“ She froze as he bent down and picked up a horse mask and dildo."My, my. Is this a Secret Santa for the good vicar, eh?" Reverend Fletcher chuckled."It's not mine," Jenna replied quickly. "It was delivered to the hall by mistake.""I bet it belongs to the organist, am I right?" Reverend Fletcher gave her a wink, but behind the jolly old man facade, lay a less pleasant character, and Jenna was immediately on her guard. She reached into her pocket."I've no idea who this stuff belongs to, but it's not Gordon, I can assure you," Jenna replied. "Either a mix-up or a prank. We do get people donating adult-themed items to church jumble sales for a laugh."Reverend Fletcher wasn't fooled. "Oh come, come, dear Mrs. Morris. I think it's just the sort of thing the organist; and that little; filly who was helping him play the organ, would enjoy! I didn't get a chance to speak to the filly; do you know her name?"Jenna didn't give anything away. "Reverend Fletcher, Gordon's private life is none of my business. And if you're hinting he was doing something inappropriate during the Sunday service, well you're mistaken.""Is that so?" The old vicar pulled out his smartphone and showed her the video he'd filmed."Now I may be old, but I know fellatio when I see it, my dear. Is your good husband aware of what the church organist is getting up to?"Jenna tried to remain composed. "Reverend Fletcher. I had no idea this had occurred, and neither has Simon. I will inform him immediately and he will have words with Gordon. Thank you for bringing this safeguarding concern to my attention. We will ensure this never happens again. Now, if I could ask you to delete that piece of video footage.""I think not," Reverend Fletcher replied. "I think I'll hang on to it for now. Unless of course, you know the name of the lass in the video? I'd quite like to meet her.""I've no idea who she is," Jenna replied. "Never seen her before. Gordon tutors many people. He's single and it's no secret that he's had a lot of dates. Look, there's a privacy issue here, Reverend. It's in your best interests to delete that video;“ She racked her brain, wondering how to deal with this escalating situation. What a creep this man was!"First time he'd ever done that whilst playing the organ, I'm willing to bet? Lucky fella. Some men have all the luck. During the church service too. I've dreamed of something similar happening to me. Do you know, I woke up this morning, with the most powerful hard-on I'd had in years;“"Did you really?" Jenna replied, an idea forming in her mind."Yes. In fact I'm getting hard again, just talking about it." He wasn't lying. Jenna noticed the bulge tenting up his black trousers.God, that's impressive, she thought. This man was horrid, but was pitching one hell of a tent. I wonder if; well I have to try. I can't have anyone trying to harm Gordon or Miya. It was time to take one for the team."Reverend Fletcher," she began, running her hand down his face. "Forget the little thing playing Gordon's organ. If you were to attend our Wednesday service; I could worship you in ways that'll make you thankful God made you a man. I give you my word."The reverend's eyes widened in wonder. The vicar's wife; actually trying to seduce him? This was too good to refuse."My God; I'll be there! What do you have in mind?" He was almost salivating with arousal."Well you'll have to wait and see, won't you? But first;“ she snatched the phone from his hand and deleted the video."No!" He exclaimed. "Oh okay, fair enough, you win. Can I have it back now?""No Reverend. I'll just hang on to it until after the Wednesday service. Just two days. I'm sure you can manage without a smartphone for two days. You have a landline phone at home don't you? Because you phoned Simon from it last night.""Yes I do; but the smartphone is the only way I can access the Internet! I don't have a laptop or tablet at home. I use that smartphone for everything! It's got private stuff on there. My internet banking app!""Don't worry, I won't look at anything. We'll just log out of the app and everything will be just fine. There. All done! If you need to go online, the library is open. I promise you'll get it back after the Wednesday service. You'd better be there.""Mrs. Morris; please!" Reverend Fletcher yelled.Jenna hurried to her car as fast as she could. So far, so good. She'd spared Gordon and Miya any embarrassment."Of course, the dirty old goat could've uploaded the video to PornHub, made backups. I've got to pay a visit to Gladys' grandson Dwaine. He's an absolute tech ace. He'll be able to check if that video is truly deleted; and if it's floating around porn land;“She sped out of the church hall car park. "Good thing I recorded all that on my own phone too." She pulled her phone out of her pocket and switched it off."I am still curious to see that cock of his," she said to herself as she drove through the town center. "The Devil makes work for very frustrated, horny men;“It had been far too long since she'd brought salvation to a different man of the church.A Christmas Miracle.It was Christmas Eve, and the fourth Sunday of Advent. At St Michael's church, the morning service was being led by Reverend Fletcher; who unknown to him, was about to give the most stimulating sermon of his life;"What's this old padré doing here again?" Gordon muttered, as he noticed Fletcher head up to the pulpit."Jenna told me that she'd personally invited him back in order to do the sermon today. Because Simon's sermons are so boring," Miya whispered."Ah! That makes perfect sense!" the organist replied. "Good old Jenna, always thinking of ways to make this church more enjoyable, eh?""Yup, that's my cousin. Full of Christian mercy!"They both giggled, unaware of the real reason Reverend Fletcher was here. And the service, for him was about to get a lot more interesting."Brothers and sisters, it gives me great;“ the reverend paused as he felt something - or someone fumble under his purple vestments."pleasure, to be addressing you all today."And then the sound of the zip on his trousers being pulled down.He twitched nervously, trying to retain his composure.As the congregation sat in the pews, lost in prayer and contemplation, a single bead of perspiration trickled down the Rev. Fletcher's brow. It wasn't from the Advent candles burning nearby, but from the passion that burned within him. He now knew that today's sermon would be unlike any other he had ever delivered, and it wasn't just because of its unique message of love and acceptance. The old vicar didn't dare move from the pulpit, as all eyes were on him. He'd just have to tough it out;In the cramped space inside the pulpit, Jenna was impressed as she pulled down the old man's white boxer shorts, revealing the thick, meaty length of him, already half-hard with anticipation. Quite a tasty-looking cock, she had to admit. She wrapped her lips around the tip, feeling the warmth and weight of him fill her mouth. Reverend Fletcher's voice grew hoarse as he continued to read, his hips starting to move involuntarily, pushing himself deeper into her mouth.The Reverend Fletcher was old, really old, but his cock was something to behold. It was as if time had stopped at his groin, leaving him with a magnificent, thick shaft that seemed to defy the laws of nature. Jenna couldn't help but continue to be amazed as she sucked him harder. As bad as this chap had been, his impressive cock deserved her full attention.Over at the organ, Gordon was impressed by this far more interesting sermon."Well he might resemble something from the Pickwick Papers, but he writes a much better paragraph than our Reverend Morris! I guess it's because he's older and more experienced?""Yeah, I liked that bit where he said there should be only good vibes at Christmas and Jesus being born in a stable because the NHS waiting lists were too long. That was funny!" Miya whispered back."The old boy looks to have high blood pressure," Gordon mused, noticing the sweat running down the vicar's forehead. "Reminds me of something; hell, it's bloody freezing in this church, but he looks like he's been sat in a sauna."Reverend Fletcher's voice trembled slightly as he continued to enthrall the congregation with a Christmas-themed sermon like no other. They assumed his wavering composure was normal for him."This guy is on fire," Miya said, also captivated. "He knows how to entertain an audience!""Looks to me like he's rather entertained himself! Look how he's gripping the pulpit there - his fingernails have turned white. And the way he's thrusting slightly; looks like he's humping the thing!""Gordy, you have a naughty mind!""Hmm, I wonder where I get it from?" He stared at the old vicar again. "It might be just me, but he doesn't look well;“In front of the pulpit, Reverend Morris was listening intently to his mentor's words. I truly learned from the best, he thought. Thanks to Horatius, I am able to write wonderful sermons! It was so nice of Jenna to invite him to conduct our morning service. He glanced at the seated congregation, and saw no sign of his wife anywhere.That's odd. I swore I saw her sitting at the front before. She's missing this amazing sermon. Maybe she had to go to the ladies;As Reverend Fletcher's climax approached, his heart raced with an unfamiliar urgency. The words on the page of his sermon began to blur, and he felt a warmth spreading through his body. He looked down, only to see Jenna the vicar's wife, her lips wrapped around his cock, her eyes locked on his. It was then that he realized his heart condition had worsened, and the pleasure of the moment was quickly replaced by fear.With a loud gasp, he slumped forward onto the pulpit, his weight pulling Jenna away from him. She looked up at him, concern etched on her face, as he struggled to catch his breath. And then, with a final heave, he staggered towards the pulpit steps, then collapsed on the floor, motionless.Someone screamed."Oh my God! Call 9 9 9!"Norman the churchwarden quickly pulled out his phone and called an ambulance. Everything seemed to unfold in slow motion for a few moments.It was then that Gordon sprang into action, leaping over the shelf at the side of the organ like a gazelle. His black, open-fronted gown billowed behind him like a superhero's cape."I'm a trained first-aider," he yelled. "He's gone into cardiac arrest!"As Gordon began performing CPR on Reverend Fletcher, Miya watched in stunned amazement. Some small children at the front of the church started crying, and were led away by anxious parents."Please God, don't let him die," Reverend Morris begged, praying quietly, as they waited for the ambulance to arrive.The entire church was in uproar, and the churchwarden struggled to calm the panicking congregation."Ladies and gents please, I must ask you to sit quietly or if you wish to leave, please can you do so in an orderly manner. In the chaos, Jenna managed to creep out of the hollow in the pulpit, unseen, and hurry off."Oh this is a nightmare," Reverend Morris sobbed, wiping away tears, as the organist continued giving chest compressions. "On Christmas Eve as well, and the defibrillator we had installed got stolen just a few days ago!"Seconds later, Jenna suddenly appeared at his side. "Oh Simon," she panted."He's breathing!"A chorus of cheers erupted.The sound of a siren outside the church was heard. Norman directed the paramedics into the church."Dear God, have our prayers been answered?" Reverend Morris asked his wife.Jenna bit her lip. "I sure hope so." She turned away. I don't want to have that on my conscience. The fact I killed a man by giving him a blowjob, she thought.As the paramedics carried the stricken Reverend Fletcher into the ambulance, everyone turned their attention to Gordon."Where's our organist?" Norman said. "The guy's a bloody hero!"Gordon was sat on the organ stool, resting, after his successful first aid."That was amazing, what you did just then," Miya said, her arm round his shoulders.He shrugged. "Just basic first aid," he muttered modestly."But you were so calm.""Inside I was screaming. I don't think I've been as afraid as that since; can't remember when. You know, being confronted with the harsh reality of death - right here in the church.""But you got his heart going again. He'll be okay.""Aye, let's hope so. Could still have another heart attack, or end up with brain damage if starved of oxygen for too long.""No Gordon, he'll be fine." Miya continued. "He's a vicar. God will keep him safe."He wasn't sure if she actually believed that or if she was just saying it to make him feel better. It did make him feel better, though."Mmm, you're right." He pulled her onto his lap and hugged her."I think my hero organist deserves a reward. How about a kiss for starters?" She flung her arms around him and kissed him full on the lips. The kiss developed into a full-blown snog, and just as Gordon was getting into it, they were interrupted."Here he is!" Norman shouted. "Oh; are we interrupting?"Gordon broke the kiss and looked embarrassed. "Er;“"Just giving my guy a hero's reward," Miya replied."Well done, Gordon," Reverend Morris said, shaking his hand. "Your quick actions there may just have saved Horatius' life."He's not just a talented organist," Miya interrupted. "He's my Gordy-pie!"Later;Reverend Fletcher slowly opened his eyes. There was an oxygen mask on his face and his vision was a little blurry."Uh;“"Horatius. It's me, Simon.""Who are you?""Your friend and former student, Simon Morris.""Are you really? Well that's jolly lovely! I didn't know I had a friend called Simon Morris.""What's up with him?" Jenna asked, cautiously approaching his bedside."Erm, he seems a bit confused. Maybe it's the after effects of what's happened to him.""Who's that?" Reverend Fletcher mumbled, straining his eyes to look at Jenna."This is Jenna, my wife.""Oh how nice for you, she looks a lovely lady.""He appears to have developed retrograde amnesia," Jenna said. "I wonder if it's just temporary?" Secretly, she was relieved."It's the strangest of things," Reverend Fletcher continued, becoming more aware of his surroundings. I can't remember what happened. But I was in a church of some sort. I was reading something. Then I saw the face of an angel. A beautiful angel, kneeling before me; very beautiful, a bit like your wife. Then, nothing but a bright, white light. It must've been the light of Heaven. But obviously God wasn't ready for my soul just yet. And so, he sent me back to Earth.""A near-death experience?" Reverend Morris said."I truly have seen the light. I've been given a second chance. A chance to become a better person, and live my life to the full. It's a miracle!""A Christmas miracle!" Jenna smiled.Outside in the hospital corridor, Gordon was anxiously waiting, along with Miya."Well; how is he?""Doctor says he should make a full recovery. But he'll need a pacemaker. He's been damned lucky, and your quick actions today saved his life. Apparently he's suffered from a dodgy ticker for years.""When he was reading the sermon, I got the feeling he wasn't well, Gordon said. "He was sweating profusely and trembling. And his voice was shaky. All classic signs of an imminent heart attack."Reverend Morris nodded. "There's one thing that the paramedics did mention, and it may be inappropriate to say this, but; well, when they removed his robes and examined him, he had a raging erection."Gordon burst out laughing. "Ah well that explains the heart attack then. Not enough blood to go round. It had all rushed to his knob! Well I suppose if the worst had happened and he'd snuffed it, he would've died happy, eh? Dying with a raging hard-on, not a bad way to go.""I wonder what on earth gave him an erection?" Miya wondered."Good speech? It was a very passionate sermon. Reminds me of that scene from the first Police Academy film. Ever seen that? The scene where the prostitute gives oral to the old copper whilst she's hiding in a podium. Only the old copper sees another bloke crawl out of the podium and thinks he did it.""I remember that film," Reverend Morris replied. "Ha-ha yes, that was a funny scene. I don't think that happened to the good Horatius Fletcher, although he claimed he saw the face of an angel before he collapsed."Jenna, stood beside her husband, just smiled and said nothing.Later still;"What a day," Gordon said, as he and Miya arrived back from dining out at the Scabby Horse, a country pub dating back to the 17th century."That restaurant was lovely. I've really enjoyed our first Christmas Eve together. It's been magical."Gordon removed the Santa hat he'd been wearing. "I'm so glad. After the trauma of this morning, then having to speak to the local press, it was a relief to finally relax!""Uh-oh," Miya groaned, noticing a car pulling up in front of the house. "Don't relax just yet. Mum's just arrived. She'd better not cause a scene! Oh why can't she just accept us? Your mum was really nice when I met her the first time."Catherine Leesmith was a fun-loving eighty-two year old, who'd welcomed her son's much younger girlfriend with open arms."Don't panic, maybe she just wants to talk," Gordon replied. "Good evening Mrs. Dickinson!""Oh my God! I watched BBC Northwest earlier." She turned to Gordon. "You were on the news. You; saved that vicar's life. Well done!""Well, I kept him alive until the paramedics came, yes." He awkwardly shuffled his feet.Miya's mum walked right up to him. "Gordon. I've said; some things. Things I regret. And whilst I still think the age gap between the two of you is far too wide, I;“Gordon and Miya held their breaths."I can see how happy you are together, so if you're happy, then I'm happy. You're a good man, Gordon. You've certainly brought out the best in Miya."Gordon smiled. "Thanks so much, Mrs. Dickinson.""Kathleen.""Um, right. Kathleen. Er, Miya, tell your mum the good news!""You're not pregnant are you?""No Mum! I've just passed my driving test!""Oh congratulations, love! All thanks to Gordon as well I suppose?""No, I'm not taking any credit," he said. "She did this all on her own and worked damned hard. I provided encouragement, that's all. Right, come in and let's all have a cuppa; or if you want something stronger, we've got mulled wine, gin, beer; anything you like."Miya hurried in first, thrilled that her mum had finally accepted her boyfriend."Gordon, I think Santa will be delivering a four-wheeled present tomorrow morning. I know you and my husband have been planning it for a while.""Oh yes," he replied, tapping his nose. "Shush. She doesn't suspect a thing."They all entered Gordon's house, and Miya's mum couldn't help but admire her daughter's boyfriend; or man-friend, as she preferred to call him.He's not my type, but quite attractive. And he has charisma, there's no doubt about that. There's something about him. He does cut a dashing figure in a suit and organist gown;At the ParsonageReverend Morris and Jenna decided to have an early night."I've always believed that you see something; otherworldly at the point of death," he said as he climbed into bed. "I just can't stop thinking about what Horatius Fletcher said. You know, about seeing an angel. Sorry to keep going on about it.""An angel must appear to reassure dying people that everything will be alright. Or in some cases maybe it takes the form of the dying person's loved one?" Jenna replied."Hmm, yes. Hard to fathom when you've never experienced it yourself. Oh well. At least we know Horatius will be okay. Not much of a Christmas for him, being stuck in hospital, but at least he's alive.""Yep," Jenna smiled, snuggling up to her husband.And with any luck, she thought to herself, he'll never fully regain his memory. He doesn't remember anything about filming Miya and Gordon, or how I took his phone and got Dwaine to erase it. He doesn't remember me inviting him to do the Sunday service either; or me sucking his cock. If he does eventually remember, people will just think he's round the bend;"Merry Christmas Jen.""Merry Christmas Simon."They kissed.The vicar fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, but Jenna wasn't quite ready to fall asleep just yet. When she was sure that her husband was well and truly in the arms of Morpheus, she slipped out of bed and picked up her smartphone off the bedside table. She hurried into the bathroom and shut the door. Switching on the phone, she opened a password-protected secure documents folder."Oh Gordon. I really do miss sucking that delicious thick cock of yours," she sighed as she fingered herself whilst watching the video of Miya and Gordon that Reverend Fletcher had filmed. So it hadn't been completely deleted after all. Dwaine had still been able to recover it using his expert coding skills; and transfer it to Jenna's phone. (For entirely personal use of course)!By Blacksheep. For Literotica

Simon Morris looks at the art of “true-ish” movies based on real-life events. When does tweaking a story to make sense bury the whole point of a true story? He looks at three films that try and stick to the facts – September 5, Widow Clicquot and Prime Video's The Order. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris returns, having missed out on a bumper summer of good movies all lining up for the awards season. He's less than impressed with his first selection, involving slightly kinky women CEOs – Babygirl - mothers turning into dogs – Nightbitch - and renegade robot girlfriends - Companion.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

2025-01-19 Simon Morris by Misjonssalen Ålesund

Simon Morris looks back on 2024, a year initially damaged by writers' and actors' strikes in Hollywood, and still wondering what happened after Barbie and Oppenheimer changed the rules last year. This year was a bumper year for non-American films, for sequels and prequels, for horror films, and for some reason films about 1970s television! It was also a pretty good year for New Zealand films, low budget films and the best films from Pixar and Marvel in years. All this plus the hotly-contested Cate Blanchett They're In Everything award. No, Cate didn't make it this year. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris is underwhelmed by what's on offer before the holiday movie riches. They include The Problem With People, an American/Irish comedy about a family feud…. Goodrich, a comedy-drama about blended families in LA, and, raising the level, an Oscar nominated German drama, The Teachers' Lounge. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

The unaccounted-for dildos.A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. At St Michael's church hall, Jenna was making the most of her day off from work. That was the good thing about being part-time. Getting Mondays off. The downside? Monday was the day her husband started writing his sermon. In desperation, she'd agreed to help the ladies of the Mother's Union out at the church hall. It was more interesting than listening to Simon read out long paragraphs. The MU ladies were elderly, but fun to talk too. And boy, did they love to gossip. As a vicar's wife, she'd become privy to all sorts of information. However, Jenna wasn't one for such tittle-tattle, and would just politely humor the nosey old dears."Excuse me, a stressed-looking delivery man said, knocking on the church hall door. Parcel here for St Michael's Mother's Union?""Hi! I'll take that off your hands," Jenna said. "I have a feeling this is the box of long overdue advent calendars everyone's been moaning about.""Nothing to do with me," the man replied. "Blame the guys at the other end. We're short-staffed.""I understand," Jenna replied, signing for the parcel. "You're doing a wonderful job. Have a wonderful Christmas!""Uh; cheers," the man muttered, not used to compliments."No use selling these at the Christmas Fair seeing as that was yesterday, and we're four days into December." Jenna said, as she set the box on a table. "What can we do with thirty advent calendars? I know. I could extract all the chocolate pieces, recycle the packaging; put the chocolate in a big bowl and the children could help themselves at next week's service;“She opened the box and got a shock at what was contained within."Holy; she;“"I say, Mrs. Morris, whatever's that?"Jenna jumped as one of the Mother's Union members returned from the hall kitchen."Er, hello Mrs. Grimes it's a;“"A horse's saddle? What ruddy great twerp donated that?""Um;“"We've had some strange donations over the years, but this! It takes the biscuit! Just look at this!" She rummaged in the box and pulled out a riding crop, mask and blinkers. "A job lot of horse tack! Did Frankie Dettori donate it?""Perhaps?" Jenna replied, trying to keep a straight face as the elderly woman held up an enormous purple dildo, shaped like a horse penis, and looked at it in utter confusion."This must be for giving liquid medicine to horses.""Last year, someone donated a bus stop sign, a chamber pot and a false leg," another woman piped up. "The bus stop sign was really popular. We got fifty quid for it.""How ridiculous!" Mrs. Grimes replied. "We can't sell this at the Advent tombola. No horsey folk round here. You might as well take it down to the charity shop; or mail it to Aintree racecourse;“"Er; I'll stick to the charity shop, Mrs. Grimes. Think of the postage cost.""Ah, yes. Good thinking. Right, well, I'll leave it up to you then.""I'll get rid of it," Jenna said, then spotted an invoice. Unfolding it, her eyes widened. "Shit; I must get this stuff to Norman before anyone else sees it and realizes what it actually is!" She chuckled. "I bet Gladys is behind it! Absolutely shameless!"Jenna admired the old lady. "I hope I can have fun like that if I live to be as old as her. She's got the right attitude."Hurrying out of the church hall with the big box, she didn't look where she was going and bumped into someone."Oh, I'm so sorry!" she spluttered, as the box fell to the ground, some of its contents tumbling out."That's quite alright, you look loaded up," the man replied. "Ah! Simon's dear wife. Nice to meet you again, my dear!" He shook her hand."Oh; Reverend Fletcher! If you're looking for Simon, he's at the vicarage, writing his;“ She froze as he bent down and picked up a horse mask and dildo."My, my. Is this a Secret Santa for the good vicar, eh?" Reverend Fletcher chuckled."It's not mine," Jenna replied quickly. "It was delivered to the hall by mistake.""I bet it belongs to the organist, am I right?" Reverend Fletcher gave her a wink, but behind the jolly old man facade, lay a less pleasant character, and Jenna was immediately on her guard. She reached into her pocket."I've no idea who this stuff belongs to, but it's not Gordon, I can assure you," Jenna replied. "Either a mix-up or a prank. We do get people donating adult-themed items to church jumble sales for a laugh."Reverend Fletcher wasn't fooled. "Oh come, come, dear Mrs. Morris. I think it's just the sort of thing the organist; and that little; filly who was helping him play the organ, would enjoy! I didn't get a chance to speak to the filly; do you know her name?"Jenna didn't give anything away. "Reverend Fletcher, Gordon's private life is none of my business. And if you're hinting he was doing something inappropriate during the Sunday service, well you're mistaken.""Is that so?" The old vicar pulled out his smartphone and showed her the video he'd filmed."Now I may be old, but I know fellatio when I see it, my dear. Is your good husband aware of what the church organist is getting up to?"Jenna tried to remain composed. "Reverend Fletcher. I had no idea this had occurred, and neither has Simon. I will inform him immediately and he will have words with Gordon. Thank you for bringing this safeguarding concern to my attention. We will ensure this never happens again. Now, if I could ask you to delete that piece of video footage.""I think not," Reverend Fletcher replied. "I think I'll hang on to it for now. Unless of course, you know the name of the lass in the video? I'd quite like to meet her.""I've no idea who she is," Jenna replied. "Never seen her before. Gordon tutors many people. He's single and it's no secret that he's had a lot of dates. Look, there's a privacy issue here, Reverend. It's in your best interests to delete that video;“ She racked her brain, wondering how to deal with this escalating situation. What a creep this man was!"First time he'd ever done that whilst playing the organ, I'm willing to bet? Lucky fella. Some men have all the luck. During the church service too. I've dreamed of something similar happening to me. Do you know, I woke up this morning, with the most powerful hard-on I'd had in years;“"Did you really?" Jenna replied, an idea forming in her mind."Yes. In fact I'm getting hard again, just talking about it." He wasn't lying. Jenna noticed the bulge tenting up his black trousers.God, that's impressive, she thought. This man was horrid, but was pitching one hell of a tent. I wonder if; well I have to try. I can't have anyone trying to harm Gordon or Miya. It was time to take one for the team."Reverend Fletcher," she began, running her hand down his face. "Forget the little thing playing Gordon's organ. If you were to attend our Wednesday service; I could worship you in ways that'll make you thankful God made you a man. I give you my word."The reverend's eyes widened in wonder. The vicar's wife; actually trying to seduce him? This was too good to refuse."My God; I'll be there! What do you have in mind?" He was almost salivating with arousal."Well you'll have to wait and see, won't you? But first;“ she snatched the phone from his hand and deleted the video."No!" He exclaimed. "Oh okay, fair enough, you win. Can I have it back now?""No Reverend. I'll just hang on to it until after the Wednesday service. Just two days. I'm sure you can manage without a smartphone for two days. You have a landline phone at home don't you? Because you phoned Simon from it last night.""Yes I do; but the smartphone is the only way I can access the Internet! I don't have a laptop or tablet at home. I use that smartphone for everything! It's got private stuff on there. My internet banking app!""Don't worry, I won't look at anything. We'll just log out of the app and everything will be just fine. There. All done! If you need to go online, the library is open. I promise you'll get it back after the Wednesday service. You'd better be there.""Mrs. Morris; please!" Reverend Fletcher yelled.Jenna hurried to her car as fast as she could. So far, so good. She'd spared Gordon and Miya any embarrassment."Of course, the dirty old goat could've uploaded the video to PornHub, made backups. I've got to pay a visit to Gladys' grandson Dwaine. He's an absolute tech ace. He'll be able to check if that video is truly deleted; and if it's floating around porn land;“She sped out of the church hall car park. "Good thing I recorded all that on my own phone too." She pulled her phone out of her pocket and switched it off."I am still curious to see that cock of his," she said to herself as she drove through the town center. "The Devil makes work for very frustrated, horny men;“It had been far too long since she'd brought salvation to a different man of the church.A Christmas Miracle.It was Christmas Eve, and the fourth Sunday of Advent. At St Michael's church, the morning service was being led by Reverend Fletcher; who unknown to him, was about to give the most stimulating sermon of his life;"What's this old padré doing here again?" Gordon muttered, as he noticed Fletcher head up to the pulpit."Jenna told me that she'd personally invited him back in order to do the sermon today. Because Simon's sermons are so boring," Miya whispered."Ah! That makes perfect sense!" the organist replied. "Good old Jenna, always thinking of ways to make this church more enjoyable, eh?""Yup, that's my cousin. Full of Christian mercy!"They both giggled, unaware of the real reason Reverend Fletcher was here. And the service, for him was about to get a lot more interesting."Brothers and sisters, it gives me great;“ the reverend paused as he felt something - or someone fumble under his purple vestments."pleasure, to be addressing you all today."And then the sound of the zip on his trousers being pulled down.He twitched nervously, trying to retain his composure.As the congregation sat in the pews, lost in prayer and contemplation, a single bead of perspiration trickled down the Rev. Fletcher's brow. It wasn't from the Advent candles burning nearby, but from the passion that burned within him. He now knew that today's sermon would be unlike any other he had ever delivered, and it wasn't just because of its unique message of love and acceptance. The old vicar didn't dare move from the pulpit, as all eyes were on him. He'd just have to tough it out;In the cramped space inside the pulpit, Jenna was impressed as she pulled down the old man's white boxer shorts, revealing the thick, meaty length of him, already half-hard with anticipation. Quite a tasty-looking cock, she had to admit. She wrapped her lips around the tip, feeling the warmth and weight of him fill her mouth. Reverend Fletcher's voice grew hoarse as he continued to read, his hips starting to move involuntarily, pushing himself deeper into her mouth.The Reverend Fletcher was old, really old, but his cock was something to behold. It was as if time had stopped at his groin, leaving him with a magnificent, thick shaft that seemed to defy the laws of nature. Jenna couldn't help but continue to be amazed as she sucked him harder. As bad as this chap had been, his impressive cock deserved her full attention.Over at the organ, Gordon was impressed by this far more interesting sermon."Well he might resemble something from the Pickwick Papers, but he writes a much better paragraph than our Reverend Morris! I guess it's because he's older and more experienced?""Yeah, I liked that bit where he said there should be only good vibes at Christmas and Jesus being born in a stable because the NHS waiting lists were too long. That was funny!" Miya whispered back."The old boy looks to have high blood pressure," Gordon mused, noticing the sweat running down the vicar's forehead. "Reminds me of something; hell, it's bloody freezing in this church, but he looks like he's been sat in a sauna."Reverend Fletcher's voice trembled slightly as he continued to enthrall the congregation with a Christmas-themed sermon like no other. They assumed his wavering composure was normal for him."This guy is on fire," Miya said, also captivated. "He knows how to entertain an audience!""Looks to me like he's rather entertained himself! Look how he's gripping the pulpit there - his fingernails have turned white. And the way he's thrusting slightly; looks like he's humping the thing!""Gordy, you have a naughty mind!""Hmm, I wonder where I get it from?" He stared at the old vicar again. "It might be just me, but he doesn't look well;“In front of the pulpit, Reverend Morris was listening intently to his mentor's words. I truly learned from the best, he thought. Thanks to Horatius, I am able to write wonderful sermons! It was so nice of Jenna to invite him to conduct our morning service. He glanced at the seated congregation, and saw no sign of his wife anywhere.That's odd. I swore I saw her sitting at the front before. She's missing this amazing sermon. Maybe she had to go to the ladies;As Reverend Fletcher's climax approached, his heart raced with an unfamiliar urgency. The words on the page of his sermon began to blur, and he felt a warmth spreading through his body. He looked down, only to see Jenna the vicar's wife, her lips wrapped around his cock, her eyes locked on his. It was then that he realized his heart condition had worsened, and the pleasure of the moment was quickly replaced by fear.With a loud gasp, he slumped forward onto the pulpit, his weight pulling Jenna away from him. She looked up at him, concern etched on her face, as he struggled to catch his breath. And then, with a final heave, he staggered towards the pulpit steps, then collapsed on the floor, motionless.Someone screamed."Oh my God! Call 9 9 9!"Norman the churchwarden quickly pulled out his phone and called an ambulance. Everything seemed to unfold in slow motion for a few moments.It was then that Gordon sprang into action, leaping over the shelf at the side of the organ like a gazelle. His black, open-fronted gown billowed behind him like a superhero's cape."I'm a trained first-aider," he yelled. "He's gone into cardiac arrest!"

Multiple organs are played at the All Saints Sunday Eucharist.A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. It's been a while, but now we return to our good friends at Saint Michael's CE church;"Dear Brothers & Sisters," Reverend Simon Morris stood in the pulpit and began his sermon."Well first of all, special thanks to Gordon for that fine voluntary and hymn, and to My wife's cousin, Miya, for playing the Gloria. We have an organist and an organist-in-training! As I'm sure you're aware, my wife Jenna, has kindly agreed to stand in for Raymond Wilson, the organist at Oakwood Road Methodist Church, who is recovering from surgery.Also as you may have noticed, we are joined by Reverend Horatius Fletcher, an old friend who mentored me back when I was studying for my degree in theology many, many years ago!"The man in question was sat behind the vicar, at the side of the organ and clad in full robes. He looked a lot older than he probably was. He smiled and nodded. "You were a good student; well, most of the time!"A chorus of sniggers erupted from the assembled congregation."Did he step out of a Dickens novel?" someone whispered. "He's got the perfect name for one.""From the look of him, he was an old 'un when Queen Victoria were a mere slip of a girl!" came the witty reply.The fella in the pew behind them added; "Aye, he listened to one too many sermons. That's what we'll look like by the end of this service.""And now we turn to events in the Christian calendar.” Reverend Morris continued. “We've entered November, & the month of remembrance: All Saints, All Souls, and, of course, Remembrance Sunday. It is always necessary to remember important events which have gone before, because, as has been said, those who don't remember history are doomed to repeat it. This year we studied on Sundays, and in our Bible reflection group, the Book of Exodus;“There was much coughing and shuffling of feet as the congregation braced themselves for another of the vicar's famously long and tedious sermons.Over at the organ loft, Miya was thinking some less-than-holy ways of spicing up this dull part of the service."I was so nervous playing the Gloria," she whispered to Gordon, who was sat next to her on the organ stool. "My first time playing in front of the congregation."In the four months she'd been practicing, Miya had learnt a lot, but there was still a heck of a long way to go."You were fantastic," Gordon replied, reassuring his much-younger girlfriend. "I knew you could do it.""The next hymn;” Miya paused. “I'm not sure if;“"Want me to play it?" Gordon offered her a break."If you don't mind.""No worries." Gordon adjusted his music sheets. The next hymn was The King of Love My Shepherd Is, set to the tune of St Columba."Think I need to relax my fingers a little," Miya continued. "All that pressing down; I need something to squeeze. My palms have gone sweaty and hot." Her right hand slipped over to his thigh and squeezed it."Now lass," Gordon muttered. "Why do I get the feeling you're itching to play a different organ?"She gave him that grin; the one that meant serious naughtiness. How he loved that grin.Meanwhile, the vicar's sermon continued. "As St Paul wrote in Ephesians 2: 'Jesus is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross.' The Cross of Christ makes peace possible. The Cross of Christ can make brothers out of enemies."With one hand, Gordon pushed her closer and slid his tongue into her mouth. Miya could feel his hands trailing the skin of her arse, exploring under her skirt.Her gasp was soft, but keen. Gordon's lip twitched in amusement.She lead his fingers further into the wetness underneath her knickers."Oh, Gordy-pie, I want you in me;“ Miya moaned in delinquent need.With an arched brow, the organist huskily whispered, "Oh yes? Which part of me do you reckon?" Miya giggled.He slid one broad finger into her velvety wetness and twisted in her, prodding her delicate fondness. Clearly the soft groan she emitted was not a sign of complaint."Hmm; so wet already." His voice was deep and playful. He proceeded to glide one more finger into her and goaded her clit with his thumb. His fingering orchestrated gratifying sounds from her.Miya released a ragged breath. "Oh, Gordy;“Reverend Morris raised his hands. "Another lesson we've learnt from the Book of Exodus is that God cares for all who are oppressed. I'm reminded of something I read online the other day, concerning the terrible conflict that is currently occurring in the Holy Land. Brothers and sisters, we are not to be so heavenly-minded that we are no earthly use; nor are we to be so focused on the world that we forget in whose image we have been made;“Norman the churchwarden stifled a yawn and leant against a pillar. He preferred to stand rather than sit, given that his buttocks were frequently tender due to repeated whippings from Mrs. Wilcox. He checked his watch and couldn't help but sigh to himself as the vicar droned on and made his weekly request for everyone to "pray for peace." It seemed rather futile, given the depressing news headlines he'd watched this morning. Still, one had to keep the faith.A tap on his arm brought him to his senses."Thought you'd like to know, Norm dearie, that I've ordered some certain little items off the interweb. You and I are going to have a day at the races.""Can't wait Gladys! Tuesday's out though - remember you agreed to hold the Parochial church council meeting at your place.""Haven't forgotten that," the old lady replied, and winked at him. He bit his lip, wondering what she had planned. A day at the races? That was sure to involve that trusty riding crop again. What on earth had she been buying online?"You know Gordon; when I see you wearing that black gown, it always does it for me." Miya's voice trembled as he created persistent strokes that intensified her squelching sounds. "I; ah; it makes you look like Severus Snape. You know, from Harry Potter?"Gordon wasn't familiar with much of the franchise. "Never got into that. Harry and the Chamber Pot of Afghanistan or something; think that film was repeated on TV recently. You'll have to; enlighten me. Glad you like the robe; it's less restrictive than a surplice, given what you have in mind!"He shifted on the stool and brushed the open-fronted gown off his thighs to give her a clear view of his crotch bulge. His fingers kept diligently working in her, keeping a nice stable rhythm.Miya's eyes widened as she unzipped his black trousers and freed his cock from his y-front underpants. "Gordy, why does it seem bigger than ever in church?" She wrapped her hand around his shaft, barely closing her fist on his girth. His tip glistened with precum."Made to compliment your holy mouth," Gordon remarked saucily. This earned him a squeeze on his shaft and a teasing lick on the head."Ah," he sucked the air between this gritting teeth as Miya tended him with both hands. Stroking. Circling her thumb on his tip. She seductively licked her lips and smiled. Gordon glanced warily at Reverend Morris, who was still in full flow with his sermon. It was fortunate that no-one sat in the pews could see the organist when he was sat at the organ, save for the very top of his head. But from his elevated position in the pulpit, if the vicar were to turn to his right, he'd get a grandstand view."Relax, he's only half-way through the sermon," Miya said. When I was staying at the vicarage, I used to hear him reciting them. They seemed to go on for hours. So boring; even Jenna confessed she dreaded him reading them out to her. Anyways, let's see if you're right about my holy mouth.""Fu; uhm; pardon me," moaned Gordon, halting an expletive due to being in church.He put his hand on Miya's face, gently nudging her along. She took him in carefully, his raging member not fitting entirely in her; . and that's what made it more exciting. She relaxed her throat and managed to take more than half of him. Even though she'd done this many times ever since their relationship began back in June, the rush of excitement every time her mouth touched his cock hadn't dimmed at all. He'd had sex in the church countless times in the past, mostly with the vicar's wife, but never during a service. This was his first time being pleasured during the Sunday Eucharist. That fact served to excite him even more. It was so; wrong, so naughty; so; sinful."Deary, you're so beautiful;  especially with me in your mouth," Gordon chuckled. His hips buckled slowly to push his meat deeper into her. Miya winced a little, her gag reflex massaging his girth. "Mmm;“Reverend Fletcher wanted nothing more than to stand up and stretch. His back was aching. The old wooden chair he was sat in was torture, and provided no support."Oh Simon, you never did learn the value of truncating your sermons," he sighed to himself. "When will this bloody lesson endeth?" Being sat further back, behind the pulpit, he had a good view of the choir, who were mostly looking miserable, particularly the younger members, two of whom were furtively glancing at smartphones.He turned to his right and did a double take at what he saw at the organ."To join God's family; in whose image we are made; is not just to take His name, but to start acting as He acts! We are, as Jesus said, to: 'give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's.' Amen!"Reverend Morris ended his sermon, and never had the congregation been more grateful."Miya;“ Gordon stammered, watching his girlfriend's head in his lap, working diligently. "The sermon's over; I'll have to start playing the hymn."Miya moved her hands to unbutton her blouse and revealed her nice perky breasts with pale pink nipples. She plopped his member out of her mouth and rubbed her breasts between them. "Do it then," she smiled."Oh God; I'm not sure I can," Gordon moaned."Please stand for our hymn, The King of Love Our Shepherd Is," Reverend Morris said."Do you like that?" Miya whispered as she licked slowly down Gordon's cock again."Humph; yeah, just like that; right, uh, must play;“ he fumbled with the music sheets. The slight pause before he started was missed by the congregation, as was the wrong note during the first line of the hymn.Gordon licked his lips and tried his best to concentrate on playing. It was difficult for him to press down on the organ's pedalboard due to Miya's head being in his lap and her hands on his thighs. Not to mention, his fingers were wet with her cunt juices.Reverend Fletcher had an even better view now that he was standing up. He watched, mesmerized, as Miya's head bobbed up and down, sucking Gordon's cock almost in time with the music. Glancing at the organist, who by now was red-faced and sweating, he chuckled at the enormous amount of effort he was putting in, in order to remain composed."By jove, two organs being played at once!" He remarked, feeling his ancient cock throb and stiffen back to life. A bigger comeback than Lazarus was occurring under his robes. Reaching into a pocket, he pulled out a smartphone. "One must record such an event; eh, for the good of the church of course." Using the loose sleeves of his robes for cover, he began filming;Reverend Morris came down the steps of the pulpit and failed to noticed the spectacle that had transfixed his mentor. Completely oblivious, he headed over to the altar, to prepare for communion.By the hymn's fifth verse, Gordon's focus was crumbling, as Miya dragged him helplessly towards orgasm.Thou spreadist a table in my sight;thy unction grace bestoweth;and oh, what transport of delightfrom thy pure chalice floweth!"Damn, soon my cum will floweth," Gordon muttered through gritted teeth. These lyrics weren't helping one bit. He was panting and groaning, and luckily the sounds from the mighty pipe organ were masking his expressions of delight.Miya teased the head of his cock and stroked his balls.That touch of hers pushed him over the edge.A kiss on the underside of his shaft was too much.Oh, bloody hell. He was cumming.The final verse of the hymn was marred by several wrong notes played by trembling fingers, as Gordon came. "Ah," he groaned.Thick sprays of warm cum filled Miya's mouth and throat. Fuck, she loved it so much. She felt him twitch in her, and she swallowed every salty, tangy drop.Gordon almost fell backwards off the organ stool, but managed to steady himself in time.Miya kissed the tip of his cock and crawled next to him, trilling softly at the nook of his neck. He tightened his arm around her and stroked her cheek.He whispered. "That was bloody fantastic. I love you so much.""Love you too, my Gordy-pie. I'm so glad I got to play your organ at the Sunday service."Reverend Fletcher stopped filming."Must change these underpants when I get home.""Think Gordon's been on the whiskey," Norman muttered to Mrs. Wilcox, as they sat down. "Not his best performance. He usually plays so perfectly.""Are you sure it wasn't Miya playing?""No, it was definitely Gordon. I can see the top of his head. Can't see Miya sat next to him; maybe she's gone to the loo?""Either that or she was playing a different organ," the old lady smirked."Gladys! You dirty old girl!"Ponyplay and Advent calendars.Monday morning had arrived, but Reverend Fletcher was in no hurry to get up. He lay back on his bed and sighed. His hand fell to his crotch, rubbing his hardening cock. The soft material of his pajamas felt good on his shaft, making him harder, soft groans escaping. He was widowed and lived alone.Closing his eyes, Reverend Fletcher removed his clothing. His hand drifted up and down his cock as his mind imagined beautiful women pleasuring him; one woman in particular. The pretty little thing he'd filmed blowing the organist at St Michael's a few weeks back. Who was she? He simply had to find out. And was Simon Morris aware of what was occurring at his Sunday service? Now that his three week placement as a speaker at a Christian organization in Cardiff was over, he could focus on less holy matters. He was glad to be back home at last.

Simon Morris is surprised at how smart the Biggest Film of the Year ™ is this year, then goes on to look at three rather smaller films. There's a local documentary about our first Māori theatre group – Taki Rua Breaking Barriers, a rare horror outing for the usually suave Hugh Grant – Heretic – and the most successful Italian film this century – There's Still Tomorrow. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris dodges the Musical of the Year - Wizard of Oz prequel Wicked - in favour of three smaller (and harder to find) titles. These include Apple Plus's Blitz, directed by Oscar-winner Steve McQueen, a small indie film starring Jessica Chastain and Peter Sarsgaard called Memory, and the real-life story behind IVF, Netflix's Joy, starring Bill Nighy and Thomasin McKenzie. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

Simon Morris finds himself getting picky at the end of the year as Christmas movies start to clog up the cinemas. Instead he checks out Ridley Scott's second blockbuster in a year, Gladiator II, a French film that sees a couple stranded at the bottom of the world – Suddenly - and a New Zealand documentary directed by Warrior Queen Lucy Lawless.

Simon Morris looks at three films that owe their audiences to attractive casts – Kate Winslet in the Oscar hopeful Lee…. a star-studded comedy drama, The Critic featuring Sir Ian McKellen and Gemma Arterton…. And a Netflix true-crime thriller, starring and directed by Anna Kendrick.

Simon Morris has a bad day at the office – three films, almost all “not in the English language”. Always a challenge for a radio show! They include festival favourites, Iranian film My Favourite Cake, a French drama called Last summer and a breezy comedy about Northern Ireland hiphop group Kneecap, who only use the Irish language.

Simon Morris discovers that audiences aren't always the best judges of what they may want. Joker: Folie à Deux combines two popular genres, while Wolfs features two hugely popular stars, but both live to regret it. Meanwhile a little gem called The Outrun, starring Saoirse Ronan, proves that quality is the safest bet.

Simon Morris weighs up the relative size of big empty spectacle and smaller stories with gripping characters. Francis Ford Coppola's Megalopolis is as spectacular as its name, but what's it about? The Wild Robot is a surprisingly engaging tale of an abandoned appliance looking for a purpose. And Radical is the real-life story of a first-time teacher in a last-chance Mexican school.

Simon Morris sees plenty of things in common among this week's films – horror, middle-aged women, French directors - in The Substance, Iris and the Men and Never Let Go. Is it a reflection of the times we live in, or completely random? In other words, is it a trend or just a coincidence?

Simon Morris asks Annie Murray, CEO of the New Zealand Film Commission, why local audiences for New Zealand films are currently so low – around just three percent of the total box office? Is it poor promotion and publicity? Do audiences prefer streaming services to cinemas these days? Or are we simply making the wrong movies?

Simon Morris looks at three specifically targeted films - a sequel to Tim Burton's cult classic Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, a popular documentary from a recent architecture film festival, Maurice and I, and a comedy-drama featuring a 93-year-old grandmother action hero - Thelma. He's interested to see if any of them can reach outside their audiences.

Simon Morris looks at three smaller films that attempt to do more with less - Midas Man, a biopic of the Beatles' manager, a Thai tear-jerker called How to make millions before Grandma dies and a dark thriller called Eileen that went straight to Netflix.

Simon Morris suggests that when it comes to breaking the film-making rules, it's best to pick your battles. This week The sitting duck is a real life French miscarriage of justice, Blink twice is a thriller about life among the idle rich - yes, another one! And We were dangerous sees three teenage girls plan to break out in 1950s New Zealand.

Simon Morris investigates the dark art of casting - which gives you the best value for money, a star, a real actor or a trendy celebrity? He checks three contrasting films - Alien: Romulus, a little indie comedy-drama Ghostlight, and a celebrity-dotted action comedy on Prime Video, Jackpot!

Simon Morris checks out three films that depend on a star to lift their game. Two succeed - a romance with a sting in the tail called It ends with us and an endearing Kiwi road-movie called Bookworm. But video game Borderlands defies even an eight times Oscar nominee…

Simon Morris goes to the first French version of The three Musketeers in 30 years, and another film involving Parisian duels, The edge of the blade. The first part of The three Musketeers - D'Artagnan, is a fresh take on the biggest-selling book after the Bible! Stars Vincent Cassel (Black swan), Romain Duris (Eiffel) and Eva Green (Casino Royale). Trap finds serial killer The Butcher trapped with 10,000 teenage fans at a pop concert. Stars Josh Hartnett (Black Hawk down) and Hayley Mills (Pollyanna). Directed by M Night Shyamalan (The Sixth Sense). And another French swashbuckler, The edge of the blade tells the true story of feminist and occasional duellist Marie-Rose Astié as she joins forces with a fencing master for justice and honour. Written, directed and featuring Vincent Perez (An officer and a spy).

Simon Morris realizes there are several worlds of movies around this week - from Marvel's Multiverse in Deadpool & Wolverine to the popular French hits, typified by The President's wife with Catherine Deneuve and Mr Blake at your service with John Malkovich.

Simon Morris wonders if genre is always a good guide to a movie's quality. Just because you usually like that sort of film. Horizon: An American saga - Chapter 1 is a typically epic Kevin Costner (Dances with wolves) western - at three hours it's not even halfway finished apparently. Written, produced and directed by Costner, it also features Abbey Lee (Mad Max: Fury Road), Sienna Miller (American sniper) and Sam Worthington (Avatar). Longlegs is a hugely popular, serial killer horror film. A sensation on social media, it's reignited the career of Nicolas Cage as the titular villain - with a voice inspired by his mother! Also stars Blair Underwood (TV's Elsbeth) and Maika Monroe (It follows). And from the French Film Festival, Divertimento, based on a real-life young woman from the Parisian projects who became one of France's great woman conductors. "Divertimento" is the name of Zahia Ziousani's own orchestra.

Today's interview is with Cale Urwin, Director, Data, Digital & Marketing Health Services at Bupa. I caught up with Cale recently at PegaWorld in Las Vegas to talk about what stood for him at the event and how Bupa has evolved its customer engagement story and Customer Decision Hub capabilities in Australia from outbound to digital management and surprise & delight strategies. This interview follows on from my recent interview – The ongoing decline of brand loyalty, what's driving it and what should be done about it – Interview with Simon Morris of ServiceNow – and is number 510 in the series of interviews with authors and business leaders who are doing great things, providing valuable insights, helping businesses innovate and delivering great service and experience to both their customers and their employees. Disclaimer: I partnered with Pega to conduct interviews and provide my perspective on PegaWorld iNspire 2024.

Simon Morris is confronted by an embarrassment of good, entertaining movies. And about time too…

Today's interview is with Simon Morris, the Area Vice President of Solution Consulting at ServiceNow. Simon joins me today to talk about ServiceNow's new Consumer Voice Report 2024, the ongoing decline of brand loyalty, what's driving it, why “The future of customer experience is high-tech meets high-touch” and some of the biggest lessons coming out of the report. This interview follows on from my recent interview – We've only just scratched the surface of artificial intelligence – Interview with Peter van der Putten of Pega – and is number 509 in the series of interviews with authors and business leaders who are doing great things, providing valuable insights, helping businesses innovate and delivering great service and experience to both their customers and their employees.

Adam Cox is joined by Simon Morris from Service Now. Simon tells all about his new research that has been carried out about customer loyalty, as well as its findings. Also, the two discuss the use AI and AI Chatbots when it comes to providing customer support.  https://www.servicenow.com/uk/ 

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