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Episode Highlights With Dr. Jill CarnahanWhy this topic is so important to herWhat she means by manifesting miracles and the formula of belief, act, wait The balance of holding a vision and letting go of attachment to the details of the howHow to stay in a state of love and compassion and cultivate it toward yourself Autoimmune disease: attack on self - could it be connected to not accepting all the parts of ourselvesLearning to be uncomfortable with uncertainty and finding the beauty in thisA great tip for helping your subconscious work to your advantage How to program your subconscious for gratitude and loveWays to cultivate our intuition Resources We MentionDr. Jill Carnahan - WebsiteDr. Jill Carnahan - InstagramPower vs. Force by David R. HawkinsEckhart Tolle
TikTok needs to get sold or get banned, according to Joe Biden. And now creators are worried there will be no more "safe spaces" online. But reportedly, China would rather shut TikTok down than to sell it off. Thisa might be... "problematic" ... for TikTok influencers. ➡️ Tip Jar and Fan Support: http://ClownfishSupport.com ➡️ Official Merch Store: http://ShopClownfish.com ➡️ Official Website: http://ClownfishTV.com ➡️ Audio Edition: https://open.spotify.com/show/6qJc5C6OkQkaZnGCeuVOD1 About Us: Clownfish TV is an independent, opinionated news and commentary channel that covers Entertainment and Tech from a consumer's point of view. We talk about Gaming, Comics, Anime, TV, Movies, Animation and more. Hosted by Kneon and Geeky Sparkles. Disclaimer: This series is produced by Clownfish Studios and WebReef Media, and is part of ClownfishTV.com. Opinions expressed by our contributors do not necessarily reflect the views of our guests, affiliates, sponsors, or advertisers. ClownfishTV.com is an unofficial news source and has no connection to any company that we may cover. This channel and website and the content made available through this site are for educational, entertainment and informational purposes only. These so-called “fair uses” are permitted even if the use of the work would otherwise be infringing. #TikTok #SocialMedia #News #Commentary #Reaction #Podcast #Comedy #Entertainment #Hollywood #PopCulture #Tech
For way too long, we've been taught that emoting is ‘bad', and having ‘thick skin' is the best way to show strength. In today's episode, I'm sharing more about the ‘thick skin' myth, and how we view emotions in rural America. I'm discussing more about what it really means for our health and well-being when we're constantly repressing and numbing our emotions, the recent, alarming suicide rates in the farming and ag space, how we can actually go about changing the status quo in our communication and relationships in rural America, and more.In this episode, we cover:The difference between someone who is a ‘snowflake' and someone who has ‘thick skin'What it really means for ourselves and our overall health when we're continually repressing and numbing our emotions + recent suicide rates in agricultureWhy it's time to change the status quo in how we approach emotions, communication, and relationships in rural America + steps to actually do thisA simple practice to help you get quicker and better at feeling your emotionsResources & Links:2020 Study on Suicide Rates by Industry and Occupation2021 Study on Suicide Risk Factors Among Farmers in MIdwestern U.S.Join the waitlist for the Good Movement CollectiveJoin the waitlist for the Start with You MastermindGood Movement music by: Aaron EspePodcast produced by: Jill Carr Podcasting Connect with Terryn:Follow on Instagram @terryn.drielingCheck out my websiteSend me an email at terryn@terryndrieling.comMake sure to hit subscribe/follow so you never miss an episode!Find the complete show notes here: https://terryndrieling.com/the-thick-skin-myth-and-how-we-view-emotions-in-rural-america-episode-25
Many countries need radical structural transformation, specifically in more developing nations, and Growth Teams and made it part of their mission to empower developing countries to create jobs and grow their economies. Today, we are in conversation with the cofounders of Growth Teams, Kartik Akileswaran and Jonathan Mazumdar. The pair are here to discuss how their business is playing its part in creating economic stability in countries around the world. Our conversation begins with a breakdown of Growth Teams, how the company works, and why Kartik and Jonathan chose to build it. After taking a look at our guests' professional backgrounds, we dive into the definition of structural transformation, assess its importance, discover why it's so difficult to facilitate and brainstorm ways for governments to stand true to their promises of transformation. We also learn how Growth Teams gets involved in government outreaches, how it's doing things differently to achieve better results, the countries it is working with, and everything the business has planned moving forward. Key Points From This Episode:What Growth Teams is all about and how Kartik and Jonathan came to found itKartik and Jonathan's professional backgroundsThe importance of structural growth and economic developmentWhy the aforementioned issues are neglected by governments and policymakersDefining structural transformationThe factors that make structural transformation difficult to facilitateOur guests' advice for how governments can uphold their transformation reformsHow labor mobility fits inWhy government outreach programs have low skills retention, and how Growth Teams is fixing thisA look at Growth Team's involvement in government outreaches and how it evolves during the processThe countries that Growth Teams is working with and the company's plans for the futureLinks Mentioned in Today's Episode:Kartik Akileswaran on LinkedInJonathan Mazumdar on LinkedIn Growth Teams‘Governance and Development'The perspective of growth-enhancing governance'‘Which World Bank Reports Are Widely Read?'Pockets of EffectivenessCharter Cities InstituteCharter Cities Institute on FacebookCharter Cities Institute on Xl
I would always adjust the way I showed up in my world by what I thought was the right way to do things. We all take on other ways of being, because we find them more acceptable because we've been told that's the best way to operate in the world, because, as we've grown, we've been exposed to the judgements of certain ways of being. Through my eyes, we are all pieces of a giant jigsaw puzzle, where every unique piece is needed to experience, to witness the whole in its completion and beauty. The intention of this poem is to invite you into the remembrance of what your unique way of being is, your unique way of working, talking, showing up, and beginning to walk the path back to this. I find the best way is starting to engage with how you showed up as a child. In this poem, I share my experiences of falling back in love with what feels more like my natural way of being, and the power that I've found in reclaiming and re-embracing this. I invite you to read or listen with me, and feel into whatever this poem brings up for you.Can you crack me open?Words yet unspokenCan you delve into my worldAnd see the beautyWhere others see imperfection?Can I sitA flower receivingA flower openingBloomingMy emotion, all consumingRenewing my energyRenewing my faithWould you like a tasteOf the pleasure of being humanOf being, beingCan you believe inWhat your soul is needingYes, that rapture, it's oh so freeingFor I exist as dappled lightTraces of the darkness from insideBought to the surface of my consciousnessBought to the surface of my bodyIs it strangeThat I find pleasure in this tensionThat I find pleasure in the mentionOf the taboo in me, in youWho am I to sayWho am I to be afraidOf my own strange waysI'm a blemished diamondFormed in times of pressureI'm a treasureWithout a glitz or shineMy simplicity is what's divineMy complexity is woven through my rhymesBut who would I beIf not all of me?Where would I sail?How else could I tell these tales?Is it strange that its cathartic to watch myself try and fail?To drink from the holy grails of many experiencesIsn't that what I came here for?Yet, as this heroes journey walks to completionComes full circleI find myself calling in something rather newWhere, what I now chooseIs pleasure in peaceThe feeling of homeWatching nature in stillness and silenceI'm in defiance of societies waysThat the introvert has no sayThat the introvert is timid and afraidThis me, that moves so quietlyWith intentionWith easeIn the moments that you think I freezeI'm simply contemplatingAwaitingFor the answers to present themselves to meWith raw clarityAnd depthLearning through awarenessMy cycles intuiting the road aheadSo that I may restIn the here and NowMy face would've drawn a frownI wouldn't have been so sureIf you'd told me beforeThat the answers really did exist in honouring my timingTrusting the words I'm rhymingIt's funny how what I was missing was what I was hidingA liberation of this introverted meWho finds herself most freeWhen she is held in what she needsWhen she is alone with natureWhen she is connected to others through silenceIt's so beautiful to find thisA childhood wishA way of being I've oh so missedThis introverted meAllow yourself to finally bewith love,EmmaIf you felt supported by this poem, please leave a comment below or reach out via email, emma@emmaevelyncampbell.com and let me know what came up for you. I love to hear from people that connect with the art and words that come through me.
Episode Highlights With Dr. DanaHow much water do we actually need?The reason low level dehydration ages us and increases instances of chronic disease according to a new study from the NIHHow not hydrating can increase the chance of diabetes and Alzheimer'sYou can't detoxify without waterThe different types of energy in the body and how hydration affects them allWhat the fourth phase of water is and why there might be 14 different typesWhy studies show that hydration helps weight lossMouth breathers tend to lose more water at night and how to learn to nasal breathe at nightWe do most of our detoxifying during sleep and why this is so importantHow we can hydrate from foods and how the fourth phase of water relates to thisA fascinating study that talks about the benefits of over 30 plants per weekFascia and hydrationWhat an optimal day of hydration looks like: front loading water, water before meals, getting enough vegetables, green smoothiesResources We MentionQuench by Dana Cohen, MDLMNTEidon - silica and electrolytes590: Dr. Andy Galpin on Fat loss, Hydration, Human Performance, and Raising Strong Kids638: Dr. Chris Masterjohn on Understanding Key Nutrients: Biotin, Sodium, Potassium, and Omega-3s380: How to Use CARs: My Secret for Mobility and Strength (+ HRV, FRC & Kinstretch) With Hunter CookKettle and Fire Bone BrothMan's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. FranklStay Young & Sexy with Bio-Identical Hormone Replacement: The Science Explained by Jonathan V. WrightThanks to Our Sponsors:Joovv - Red light therapy can be an important part of any health routine and I use mine daily to support cellular function and for my skin and thyroid. Use code wellnessmama for a discount.Wellnesse - My line of clean and non-toxic personal care products such as toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo and much more!
“As a Nurse Coach, I'm able to do mindfulness exercises as we walk along our soul path, and as I help people to connect more completely with our therapy animals in a mindful and peaceful connection.” ~ Jodie L. Diegel, RN, BSN, MBA, LNCAh-HasNursing is evolutionary- it grows and evolves alongside you… allow thisA therapy animals focus could be… fitness, literacy, hospice, joy, hospital or hospice visits, and many more possibilities!You never know where your skills and love of Nursing will take you… allow your heart to open and guide you to what calls you, and how you use yourself to create Therapy animals mixed with Nursing combines a love of Nursing and a love for animalsIf animals are calling you, follow that call… Animal therapy can include any well-mannered animal- cats, miniature horses, dogs, donkeys, rabbits, pigs- can become registered to provide animal therapy for all abilitiesReach out into your communities to bring health and wellbeing… write, podcast, videos, Facebook Lives, Partner within your community. Who needs support? Who needs assistance? who complements you and your offerings? Coaching with HEART: Healing, Energy, Awareness, Resilience, TransformationAllow your intuition, wisdom, vibration to guide you in your lifeHow can you turn mindless moments into mindful moments (ie. Scooping poop!)Links and ResourcesSOUL Harbour Ranch Animal Therapy Program website and videoPet Partners SOUL Harbour Ranch Animal Therapy Program's Friday Live at 5 on FacebookRoadrunner Animal Spirt defined… “Roadrunner teaches how to find the hidden humor in situations all while showing you the path to greater productivity and efficiency.”Coaching with HEART: Healing, Energy, Awareness, Resilience, Transform in the Nurse Coaching: Integrative Approaches for Lifestyle Health and Wellbeing textbookIHWA: Integrative Health and Wellness Assessment: take it here!A blog about the IHWA by Deborah McElligott______________________________________________________________ Thank you for listening. We LOVE Nurses! Please leave us a 5 start rating and a positive comment about an episode you loved! Follow Integrative Nurse Coach Academy on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn Learn more about our programs at the Integrative Nurse Coach Academy
If you are craving more freedom and ease around money, this is the episode for you. In this episode we chat about the importance of shifting your money mindset and I reveal three big shifts you can make around making, having, and spending money in order to feel better with your money & make more of it. Topics I cover:Importance of shifting your money mindsetSelf worth & how it's at the core of all of thisA money mindset story of mineAnd three big shifts you can apply to make more money ASAPAnd more….FREE & LOW COST RESOURCES FOR YOU:Want to work with me one on one? Click here to book a time to chat with me privately! On this free Connection Call we will talk about your goals, struggles, and an action plan to get you there!Join the weekly email list here!Check out my website here!Follow on Instagram @andiecolleen and TikTok @andie.colleen for more mini-trainings, tips, and advice.SUPPORT THE SHOW: Please subscribe, rate, and review over on Apple Podcasts to help support Mindset Magic! Follow along on Instagram and TikTok for updates, giveaways, and more inspo!
This episode covers:A study showing how few teenagers consume the recommended amount of vegetables, and my suggestions to combat thisA product recommendation for one of my favorite bread substitutionsHow to decrease automatic negative thoughtsTwo Q and As giving you tips for keeping your skin hydrated and my take on Instant Pot vs. crockpotsLinks I mentioned during this episode:2% of US Teens press release from US News: https://www.usnews.com/news/health-news/articles/2021-01-26/just-2-of-us-teens-eat-recommended-amount-of-veggies Outer Aisle Cauilflower Sandwich Thins: https://amzn.to/36fUJ08 Blog post on how to use thoughts to create more joy in your life: https://www.thelyonsshare.org/?p=21307Fueling or Feeling 10-Day Emotional Eating Challenge: https://www.thelyonsshare.org/fueling-or-feeling-10-day-emotional-eating-challenge/Lyons' Share blog post on changing negative self-talk: https://www.thelyonsshare.org/2018/10/30/how-to-improve-self-talk/Ultima replenisher electrolytes: http://amzn.to/2anqEkACollagen recommendations: https://www.thelyonsshare.org/2018/02/28/top-7-benefits-collagen-protein/ Crockpot I have: http://amzn.to/2kBlGnQ Instant Pot I have: https://amzn.to/2QVPAEc How to take action after listening to this episode:Think about an ANT problem you have, and commit to being aware of it for 24 hours. See how often you can notice it popping up!
Weesa in big doo doo. Thisa week weesa -- Okay nope. Can't even do it. The bit isn't worth it. We kick off a December of prequels with an absolutely poor choice of reviewing Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. Join us for this LOADED episode where we talk about just how much the wizard cops set themselves up for failure against a political scheme that honestly shouldn't be the focus of the movie. This episode has literally everything: defending Jar Jar, debatable parenting skills, the lamentation of character development, and the return of an old galaxy trucking friend: 3-4 Casablancas. Follow us on IG and Twitter @redteampod or email us at redteampod@gmail.com!
ADDICTION I try not to think about itTwenty five years, a lifetimeAnd now you're goingYou're leaving him for meA good man does not deserve thisA strong man would still be brokenI imagine myself losing you after a lifetime Now that i'm old and getting weakerJust when i need you most Just when i ought to feel safeNow that i'm too far down the road To turn back and find anotherI know how much i love youIs it an addiction you askMore than thatI imagine losing you, the stars, the grass, all music, all joyI imagine myself alone for the rest of my lifeDo they make a pill for thisIf i swallow enoughWill it kill me
I'm better now'Cause I know the feelingTo lose someoneYou can't forgetI am better now'Cause I know the feelingTo lose someoneYou can't forget'Cause I don't wanna leave you standing thereI don't wanna close my eyesI just wanna hold your handSee how far we've comeAre we letting this go to an end or is thisA chance to love again
Seeing your face from afarGirl, you're amazingYou're amazingWalking so close yet so farLooking through those eyes that are shiningAnd oh hohI don't wanna let you goNo oh hohWhy is it so hard to let you goI don't wanna leave you standing thereAnd I don't wanna close my eyesI just wanna hold your handSee how far we've comeAre we letting this go to an end or is thisA chance to love againLingers on my mind
ADDICTION I try not to think about itTwenty five years, a lifetimeAnd now you're going You're leaving him for meA good man does not deserve thisA strong man would still be brokenI imagine myself losing youAfter a lifetime Now that i'm old and getting weakerJust when i need you most Just when i ought to feel safeNow that i'm too far down the road To turn back and find anotherIs it an addiction you askMore than thatI imagine losing you, the stars The grass, all music, all joyI imagine myself alone for the rest of my lifeDo they make a pill for thisIf i swallow enoughWill it kill me
CHRIST ENTRUSTS US WITH GOSPEL SERVICE (11)A massive message: “The gospel of the glory of the blessed God.”A massive trust: “With which I have been entrusted.”Christ trusts the untrustworthy with his trustworthy Gospel.How can I carry this massive trust?CHRIST STRENGTHENS US FOR GOSPEL SERVICE (12A)A massive strengthening: Christ Jesus our Lord gave me strength for thisA massive thanksgiving: I have constant gratitude to God for this strengtheningThe best way to experience Christ’s strength is to experience our own weakness.But will I keep going?CHRIST KEEPS US IN GOSPEL SERVICE"Because he judged me faithful."Christ will keep me faithful: This cannot mean that God saved or called Paul because of his past or future faithfulness. The whole context is emphasizing Paul’s gratitude for God’s sovereign intervention in his life. This is about what God would make him become by his grace. God entrusted him with the Gospel and God made him trustworthy.Christ re-directs my single-mindedness: God saw some natural characteristics in Paul that he knew he could re-direct and refine for the sake of the Gospel – that fiery, intense, zeal that had been dedicated to the destruction of the Church could be used in the service of the church.Natural gifts that we abuse can be turned to spiritual gifts God can use.But what if people doubt my calling? But what If I doubt my calling?CHRIST APPOINTS US TO GOSPEL SERVICE“Christ appointed me to his service.”When Paul or anyone else doubted Paul’s responsibility or abilities, this was where Paul would point to God's appointment. When people point to our disappointments, let's point ourselves to God's appointment.Christ’s appointment keep us going through disappointments.LIVING THE BIBLEWhen I'm feeling timid about serving Christ, I will use Christ’s trust, Christ’s strengthening, Christ’s keeping, and Christ’s appointment to encourage myself.You can catch up with previous episodes of the Living the Bible podcast on our new website or subscribe on iTunes, Spotify, and Google Podcast.
CHRIST ENTRUSTS US WITH GOSPEL SERVICE (11)A massive message: “The gospel of the glory of the blessed God.”A massive trust: “With which I have been entrusted.”Christ trusts the untrustworthy with his trustworthy Gospel.How can I carry this massive trust?CHRIST STRENGTHENS US FOR GOSPEL SERVICE (12A)A massive strengthening: Christ Jesus our Lord gave me strength for thisA massive thanksgiving: I have constant gratitude to God for this strengtheningThe best way to experience Christ’s strength is to experience our own weakness.But will I keep going?CHRIST KEEPS US IN GOSPEL SERVICE"Because he judged me faithful."Christ will keep me faithful: This cannot mean that God saved or called Paul because of his past or future faithfulness. The whole context is emphasizing Paul’s gratitude for God’s sovereign intervention in his life. This is about what God would make him become by his grace. God entrusted him with the Gospel and God made him trustworthy.Christ re-directs my single-mindedness: God saw some natural characteristics in Paul that he knew he could re-direct and refine for the sake of the Gospel – that fiery, intense, zeal that had been dedicated to the destruction of the Church could be used in the service of the church.Natural gifts that we abuse can be turned to spiritual gifts God can use.But what if people doubt my calling? But what If I doubt my calling?CHRIST APPOINTS US TO GOSPEL SERVICE“Christ appointed me to his service.”When Paul or anyone else doubted Paul’s responsibility or abilities, this was where Paul would point to God's appointment. When people point to our disappointments, let's point ourselves to God's appointment.Christ’s appointment keep us going through disappointments.LIVING THE BIBLEWhen I'm feeling timid about serving Christ, I will use Christ’s trust, Christ’s strengthening, Christ’s keeping, and Christ’s appointment to encourage myself.You can catch up with previous episodes of the Living the Bible podcast on our new website or subscribe on iTunes, Spotify, and Google Podcast.
Life Is Work - Ep 18 - Workplace RelationshipsArea of Work: Intersectional EquityCo-hosts, Producers:Danielle Stenger Cameron Navarro, LMSW Mel’s Mindful Minute: 32:54Melanie Wilmoth Navarro, LMSW, RYT, TSTSY-FOwner, Lead Facilitator - Whole Moon Wellnesswholemoonwellness@gmail.comContact Info:WebsiteEmailTwitter InstagramMusic:Intro - King Must Die, by Picnic LightningMMM Transitions - Sur, by Picnic LightningOutro - Pa’lante, by Hurray for the Riff RaffWorkplace RelationshipsRESULT: To address how and why the term “relationships” in the workplace can be culturally complicated, explore male/female friendships, and the role of relationships in the workplace, esp. considering boundaries.DannecdoteThe “problem” with banterRelated: struggle to title this very episode “relationships” because of that word’s constant association with a /romantic/ relationshipConscious decision to not make friends at work anymoreProtein - Main Event - Topic d’jourOften associated with romantic relationshipsWider culture constantly emphasizes that the most meaningful and important relationship you can have is with a romantic partnerTherefore there is always a suspicion/assumption that any friendly interaction between people has an ultimate romantic goal, particularly male and female in our heteronormatic cultureStigma for male/female friendships because of thisA word about Me Too in the workplaceBecause of this culture norm/stigma of male/female friendships, men express confusion about what they are “allowed” to doThis sounds extremely dumb to women, do not show us or tell us things we do not consent to seems p easyMen are steeped in this patriarchal culture too - that women are objects to be sought afterLiz Plank breaks this down in her book, but overall:Don’t do or say anything to women that you would not also do or say to a manFriendships (what we are really talking about!)Being our full selves gives us access to richer relationships in every aspect of our lifeSometimes this feels complicated at work because of power dynamicsChoose boundaries that work well for you that:Honor who you areMake you feel most comfortableAdaptive and can look different to different people, but it’s important that they are authentic and grounded in respect for yourself and those around youFriendships & Power DynamicsYou may find that a friend you make at work prioritizes their power and influence in the workplace over your friendship (see dan’s anecdote)Doesn’t mean all friendships are badDoesn’t mean you can’t trust anyone ever againIt’s information you have about the other personRemember NVC - everything anyone says or does is related to their own met and unmet needs!Use that information to inform your boundaries with that particular personIf you are the friend who has the power in the relationshipEstablish your own boundaries about what you can share/not shareIf you cannot share information, be transparent about the fact that you can’t share it for xyz reasonBe consistently mindful of the power you have and intentional about using that power to benefit the wider team, not just your closest friendsBe conscious of your values!Wider Perception of power dynamic relationshipsDo not use your friendship to exclude othersDoesn’t mean everyone has to come to lunch with you all the time, it means that you continue to do good work and interact positively with everyone even if you have others in the office that you are closer toOften the negative perceptions of ppl in power with close friendships at work comes from the scarcity mindsetWorkplace where the CEO was the maid of honor in one of her employee’s weddings (v traditional hierarchy org)Felt weird to everyone because there was already a lack of transparency issue in the organization, jealousy because the need for support and safety was constantly not being met for othersMel’s Mindful Minute: 32:54ComplimentsWe Are Always StudentsFor the Love of Men by Liz PlankBrooklyn 99 - NBCSharing is Self-CaringSelf-careWhat do you need from your coworkers?What boundaries meet your needs for connection and respect?Community-careHow do your current work relationships impact your wider team?Are friendships supported and encouraged, or is there a negative stigma attached to workplace relationships?Systems-careHow does your organizational structure and culture encourage or discourage workplace relationships?Reach Out!lifeisworkpod.comFind questions submission linkInsta & Twitter - @ lifeisworkpodinfo@palanteconsulting.com
Thisa is the forecast for 2020. The elite agenda exposed thru spirit. The links for proof are postedUN Agenda Vision 2020SSN on the Stock Exchange (Liens) videoJordan Maxwell expose on VaticanJesuit History of AmericaRoman Empire History IRoman History IIRoman History IIIJustinian Deception on YoutubeAna Von Reitz websiteAmerican States assembly websiteMore Jesuit HistoryTo see the list of corporations who have a lien on your straw man go to https://www.gmeiutility.org/index.jsp and click on the magnifying glass "search" on the top right hand corner of the site and type in your SSN (be sure to type in the hyphen, i.e., xxx-xx-xxxx)Music by Twisterium licensed to Linda Manuel thru Audio Jungle May2019
Dennis Hensley, writer/host of the podcast Dennis Anyone? and co-creator of the party game You Don’t Know My Life! wasn’t addicted to alcohol or drugs—he’d virtually never done them—but somehow he ended up in rehab. Here’s a few links to help you get the most out of Story Worthy- if you’re listening on an iPhone, all you need to do is tap the cover art while the show is playing and you’ll see the episode notes, including the links. If you're using an Android, just hit Google Podcasts. You can also listen on Stitcher or Spotify. Please subscribe! Plus, when you go to the website storyworthypodcast.com you’ll also find special deals courtesy of our sponsors like Robinhood, MadisonReed, and ZipRecruiter (promo code STORYWORTHY.). It’s good karma guys!
Opera CakeThis is our 400th Recipe for the Day!!!Sorry it took a week to get it out - we have been really ill!This cake was said to resemble the Opera in Paris. It is a lot of worth, but really is worth the effort.You are basically making a sponge, a coffee syrup, a creme de beurre and a ganache, then layering.So here goes…Jaconde Sponge3 Egg whites. (You’ll use the yolks later)15 g Caster Sugar100 g Ground almonds100 g Icing sugar (sieved)3 whole eggs30 g Sifted plain flour30 g melted butterMethodWhisk the egg whites until stiffAdd sugar a teaspoon at a time until glossyCover and set asideMix almonds and icing sugar in another bowl and whisk in the whole eggs until very frothy Whisk in flour and the melted butterFold into the merangue in batchesPour into a prepared tin and level the topBake for 5 - 7 minutes in a preheated oven , 200ºC, 400ºF, Gas 6 until golden and springyCoffee Syrup30 ml Hot water2 teaspoons coffee30 g SugarHeat the water in a pan and then add the other ingredients, leave to cool.Chocolate Ganache 120 g 56% Chocolate120 ml double creamHeat the cream until it is very hot, but not boilingAdd chocolate pieces and stir carefully, adding until everything is mixedLeave to coolCreme de beurre3 egg yolks220 g Melted butter75 g Caster sugar3 tablespoons water (ONLY 3)Put the yolks in a bown and whisk gentlyPut the sugar and water in a pan and carefully bring to a boil to create a syrup, which you then allow to cool for a few minutes.Pour the syrup into the egg yolks while whisking and then add the butter, little by little.To create the cakeTake your sponge and cut carefully four pieces of identical sizeLay one slice on a platter or serving plate and brush some of the coffee into it.Then a layer of Creme de beurre (Half the total)Then another spongeBrush with more coffeeThen a layer of Ganache (About half of itAnother layer of spongeBrush with coffeeThe second layer of Creme be beurre on thisA final sponge layer Ganache to cover the top
Vortrags-Audio Thisa, Teil des Multimedia Götter Lexikons. Ein Vortrag von und mit Sukadev Bretz, Yogalehrer und Buchautor.
Vortrags-Audio Thisa, Teil des Multimedia Götter Lexikons. Ein Vortrag von und mit Sukadev Bretz, Yogalehrer und Buchautor.
Check out this week full episode and transcription here:http://www.jairekrobbins.com/interview-negotiation-skills-from-former-fbi-agent-chris-voss/ Prefer to read? No Problem. Check out this week's episode transcription here: Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of JRCtv. If you’re listening to the podcast or watching this video, Hello. We have a very special guest joining us, I just finished listening to his book which is awesome, if you’re watching it’s called NEVER SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE, you can see it right over his shoulders there which is awesome, this is Mr. Chris Voss, he’s the CEO and founder of The Black Swan LTD Group or The Black Swan Group is the better way to say it. His 24 years experience in the FBI and was former FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator, he’s a speaker which I’ll tell you where we first run into each other as well as adjunct professor and consultant. I believe you’re a professor at Harvard and also USC? CV: “Well I did, Harvard several years ago but these days, USC University of Southern California for all you people in the Southeast and Georgetown University in Washington, DC.” JR: “Wonderful! Well thank you for joining us and thank you for sharing some of your wisdom and experience with everyone today in advance.” CV: “Hey man, I am flattered, I am honored to be on with you. It’s very cool, I am glad we crossed paths again.” JR: “Yeah I am excited, speaking of which the first time we cross paths, I believe was in Philly.” CV: “It was in Philly, yeah in an event Carolyn put on.” JR: “Yeah and we were both speaking there and we had I think it was a 4-hour conversation that night, hanging out, talking with everybody.” CV: “yeah it was a lot of fun.” JR: “I don’t know and I apologize, I don’t know why it took me so long to read your book.” CV: “It took me a while to get the book out so that’s okay.” JR: “Fair enough, fair enough I finally got my hands on it, I went through the whole book, and I mean I wish I can just hit instant download and put this in everybody’s playbook except for the people we negotiate with because obviously, it’s a little better for us to know it than them. About one thing you said that’s really interesting is in the negotiation itself, we’ll get to some tactics but I wanna share about you first, but in the negotiation itself it’s not you versus them as much as it’s you both trying to solve the problem at hand and I think a lot of people including myself when stuff gets tense when stuff gets interesting a lot of times that initial you know adversary thought process comes out. So I want to talk about that maybe towards the end we’ll talk about how to make that adjustment for people but for right now, I’d love to just tell about you, like how did you get into this for those listening and watching.” CV: “Yeah you know just one thing after another out of left field. Which I think you know everybody’s life as it takes its path. I never planned of being an FBI agent probably didn’t even think about it until about 10 or 11 months before I was looking at to become an FBI agent and then like I was a SWAT guy, you know before I went to the FBI I was a police officer at Kansas City Missouri Police Department. Very good police department, wonderful charming, wonderful city. And then the FBI thing comes up, I head in that direction, I was on a SWAT team, to me some of the best things that have happened to me in my life as a result of something it would be perceived as negative and so I reinjured my knee. I tore ligaments in my knee because when I was in college I fancied myself as sort of the Caucasian Bruce Lee (laughs). I wanted to be in the martial arts and I thought that would help me with the police department, blew the knee out. Blew it out again trying out for the FBI’s hostage rescue team, the FBI’s version of the navy seal. A bunch of the HRT guys are former seals, former delta guys and then before I wanted to completely destroy my knee I started looking at something else within crisis response, FBI and hostage negotiator and I thought, how hard can it be? (laughs) JR: (laughs) “interesting mindset to come in with.” CV: “ I can talk to terrorist, I mean I really thought I can do that and initially they wouldn’t let me in. Woman running the team in New York, Amy Bondoro she was like, she kinda look down her nose at me because I didn’t have any qualifications other than wanting to get after which you know anything in life is ingenuity, initiative is one of the biggest things and so she kinda tested me I didn’t realize it was a test at that time, she gave me a test to go out and do.. JR: Was that the lady who had you join the crisis hotline? CV: “Yeah, I go volunteer on the hotline, you know and so then, the process of doing that, trying to get, I got on a team, we had a kidnapping that didn’t turn out the way we expect it to internationally, you know I’m gonna talk about it in the book and then had figuratively get better and that’s when I ended up collaborating with the guys at Harvard. It were lot of fun, I really enjoyed working with those guys, Bob Manoukian, Shiela Heen, Doug Stone, you know just a whole crew of really smart people group up there and they said , hey you know you’re doing the same stuff as we are you just do it with different stakes , you know it kinda open the door to business stuff and you know, Never Split the Difference, you know the book came out last May and if I can add, my co-writer Tahl Raz, freaking genius like anybody out there read anything Tahl Raz has written, if you’re interested in reading something about business, he’s also a co-author of another book Never Eat Alone which is also one the best networking books ever written. JR: “Keith Rosen, he’s been a guest on the show as well, also people love him.” CV : Keith is also phenomenal, and Tahl collaborated on Keith’s book, yeah I mean read anything Tahl’s written, it’s good stuff.” JR: “Fair and cool, I have to look ‘em up. Keith’s business books. So you went through this journey and there were different things you talked about in the book, that I mean literally your heart skips a beat every time you don’t know every time it’s like a page turner, what happened? Did he get him did he not? Did they take him out? And I think it’s always interesting and fun that you know a lot of conversation start with “3 mins, give me a car or the person dies” (laughs) and for most people if you’re watching, you’re a business owner , a coach or someone who a lot of times it’s not a life or death on the line as much as it’s an opportunity to close some type of gap though and that continuously overtime can lead up to the life or death of your company if you think of it that way coz really truly if you overpay or undercharge too many times in a row you’ll end up , your margin’s gone and if your margin’s gone and then you go into the red now you had a business and that stat show that 98% of businesses fail within 10 years , 95% fail within the first 5 years so this literally could be a life of death topic for lot of small business owners if you’re in that first five-year or ten-year period of your business and so looking at it with that perspective maybe, I’d love to share this a couple of tips obviously they’re going to grab the book to deepen this concept but I’d love to share a few tips for people watching , what some things, there might be an easy, applicable , easy something to apply almost immediately that if they watch this they took it away let me see if this really works, like I know he saved people’s lives, I know he’s rescued hostages and some have gone , one or two have gone wrong but most have gone in the right direction and like you said never split the difference and negotiate like your life depends on it because in this cases people’s lives do depend on it, so if they’re gonna take something with that kind of urgency into a business negotiation later this afternoon, what’s a couple of tips you might give them of something they could try immediately just to see that it works before they could have the chance to go to the book and really read all the meat in there?” CV: “Well you know first one is starting point is there’s great power in deference. So you take a deferential approach and then gives you license to set a lot of more things and the book starts with a story of the best way to say no! and people either get this right away and start making money out of it immediately or it scares them. But the first and best way to say no in a deferential tone of voice is; ‘How am I supposed to do that and that?’ is, I got examples for the other side immediately cutting their price by half from a woman who is negotiating with a 13 yr old son who wanted her to buy him a video game and she said to her kid, “How am I supposed to do that?” and he immediately offered to pay for half (laughs) and then I got another colleague here in town business person negotiating with a vendor over contract and he said to the guy “How am I supposed to do that?” and the vendor immediately cut his price by half , so I mean even that in it of itself you know and some people like “Ah, I can’t say that, what if they come back, you have to, now I’m in trouble” and you know my advice to them is “Alright so, give it a try”. Number 1, we actually coach people to say how I am supposed to do that continuously at least two or three times until the other side finally does say “You know because you have to”. Because actually, your job as a business person is to be able to find out how much is on the table and when the other side says coz you have to you now have done your job on behalf of yourself, on behalf of your company. You push the other side to the limit find out everything is on the table and you’re still talking. When somebody says to you, because you have to, you still engage into conversation, it’s not over. They didn’t slam their hands down, jump up and walk away, and didn’t call you names and didn’t threaten to report you to the better business bureau, they’ve said, hey look you pushed me to my limit and I’m still talking. I still wanna make this deal but you know now we’re gonna make the deal. Which is your job as a business person, so you know that little thing right there, that little one more people have instantly made more deals just with that phrase.” JR: “And so, here’s this interesting question coz I’ve been playing this myself, that would be on the point where someone’s purchasing from you and they’re trying to bid you down, correct?” CV: “Well in any time that you have to say no , or that you need to , you need to buy yourself some time it’s actually specifically designed thing, it’s also triggers something we called forced empathy and it’s the best way to get the other side take a look at you, to take a fair look at your position and before they respond, it’s a stop and think moment for the other side. It triggers something that Danny Conoman, Nobel Prize-winning behavioral economist refers to slow thinking which is deep thinking, Conoman wrote a great book called, Thinking Fast and Slow . And his stuff is a foundation that explains a lot of what makes a hostage negotiation work business and personal life cause Conoman talked and goes into great depth about how we react in fact in a real world as opposed to theoretically you know this intellectual mythology which you know doesn’t exist.” JR: “Right, the staircase thoughts came afterward, you know I should have said this!, I should have said that!, I would have done this! and that’s not reality of what actually happened (laughs)” CV: (laughs) “Yeah sometimes I wish I was as brilliant as I thought I was.” JR: "Yeah when you’re walking away , 10 mins later you’re like ahhh all the good thoughts rain in, but there’s things that you’re saying have to happen in the moment, so here’s my question, anytime you have to say no that would help, and this is something that just got me thinking as I was reading through the book , I was reading all this different pieces from ways you can adjust you know yourself, ways you can better understand the person you’re communicating with , there’s so many golden nuggets and great tips on this pages." CV: “Thank you JR: "I hope you don’t mind me bragging about how awesome the book is , really is.." CV: No, no, go on go on JR: “Stop, stop go go . It was interesting, one thing that sit on my head and I love your insight what if you’re trying to nudge the person higher, so and I was trying to figure out which technique might work in that case where let’s say, someone tries to bid us down so we say “ oh that product or that service let’s just use round numbers is $10,000 and they say the best I can do is five, so would you start on that same price ? So how am I supposed to do that?” CV: "Yeah, how am I supposed to do that? You know there’s three or four different ways to approach that , you know another thing you could say to somebody is you know one of the skills we took to hostage negotiations we use this as probably the most powerful one is this tool we call the label , you know hostage negotiations was called the motion labels so the other thing I might wanna say to someone is it “You know it sounds like the values is not there for you.” Now that’s actually a specifically designed price and it’s not what some people are taught to say where they go like “what I’m hearing is” because if I say to you it sounds like or seems like or it looks like, the design of that is actually it hits the portion of your brain that causes you to make an internal inquiry where the prefrontal cortex or the CEO of your brain sort of checks with the rest of the brain and says, “hmmmm”. It causes you to contemplate this in a very specific way, creates this interaction in the different components of your brain where you think about it you actually react in a way that I know in advance you’re going to react to and then you come back with an answer that’s much more than yes or no because no negotiation is the proper answer is never a yes or no, it’s no and or yes and and you need everything else that comes back in the and.” JR: “That’s right.” CV: "Most people, thank you very much, most people when they say the price is the problem, it’s not really the money, it’s what they’re getting for the money and they will give you all the money that you needed, if they’re getting what they needed out of the deal. So if they express to you because they don’t know any better the price is too high and it’s not the price but it’s the package you’re not gonna solve the problem by cutting the price. You may actually make things worse. And you need to get when you say “It sounds like the value is not there for you.” that immediately turns the conversation over the value and it makes him think alright, so what is the value here for me and it pivots now into something other than price wherein you find out how to fix the problem." JR: “Ahh so all of a sudden they’ll open dialogue and ideally, they’ll start sharing with you and either go, oh no no no its not that, it’s not that. Which means they do see the value and there are some other reasons why they’re saying thisA and then you can figure out what the real reason is or they might go, you know, you’re right and I’m guessing a follow up might be we’ll what’s missing or what value needs to be there to be that justified price for what we charge and at that point, either one way you’re gonna learn why they ‘re really saying no to that or two you’re gonna learn what else you need to add to deal with to get it to that price where they easily go that’s totally worth it, let’s do it. CV: "Right, right right exactly and you know there are entrepreneurs , business person’s dilemma , the sales person’s dilemma is everybody’s first move is to cut the price and everybody also knows that it’s probably not price that’s the problem you know the hard part is how do you pivot away from price and get right into what exactly is the problem and so one of the ways is …first way is, of course, say, “how am I supposed to do that ?” Which Is really really a nice way to straight reject what they said and make them rethink it. But the flip side, “You know it sounds like the value is just not there to you.” Then immediately takes you into areas that would probably gonna solve the problem, actually much more quickly. Also, this is what we could like to say delay or save time. This is a great time saver to hack into forwarding the negotiations. JR: “Okay, so how am I supposed to do that? And then sounds like the value isn’t there for you.” CV: “Right.” JR: “And what’s interesting twice that you’ve done that I’ve been noticing for people because I just read the book I know what to look for or at least some of the things , is you did two things that I think were important you pointed out in the book. One: Slow down! So often I know this myself, our heart rate gets going, we get excited we get nervous palms, we start seeing the finish line and so we start talking really fast and getting excited, oh totally, we can do that for you and according to the book that’s not helping.” CV: “No, first thing is because one is such time pressure we think we got to speed up in order to solve it and the exact opposite is true. I had a judge in front of the trial in New York and had this great phrase, we’re gonna delay things in order to save time. You know so you actually get into the negotiation process faster because you get off the gerbil wheel, you know people go faster but they’re on the gerbil wheel with repetitive conversations and they don’t understand that if they slow down they get fewer conversations and in it entirety save a lot of time. So slowing down actually does accelerate the process you make fewer mistakes to don’t renegotiate you don’t have as many misunderstandings and you know misunderstandings or false agreements, which are really gerbil wheel of business as well as eats up our time, so it’s understanding actually have move much more quickly by taking a more deliberative approach and having fewer conversations.” JR: “Very nice and then the other thing is watching the physiology and tonality of what’s goin on and then one thing you said that’s interesting, a lot of business today is done over the phone of each other or via email which email is probably the fastest way of being misunderstood because they’re reading in their own voice, hearing their own inflection of what they think you’re saying versus actually hearing you. And you pointed out the value of actually being able to see the person and be next to the person something you know I think I’ve talked about from time to time with everyone who’s watching and listening which is the concept of being able to see the congruence or incongruence within the other person and have value that can be to the actual process of negotiation and communicating.” CV: “Right, right and the incongruence is a lot of, there are numbers that are thrown out you know people talk a popular ratio of 7/38/55 and 7% are your communication is words. And you know people get caught up in whether or not those numbers are accurate and the issue is where do you use exactly a moment ago, it doesn’t matter what the ratio is what matters is whether things are incongruent you know when the tone of voice doesn’t line up with the words. I don’t care if it’s 20/80 I don’t care if it’s 50/50, if my words and my tone don’t line up we have an issue here and you’re actually communicating issue to me, you know I got a colleague, extremely successful guy got fired of lack of understanding of incongruence he’s talking to a billionaire investor in a company and the billionaire investor has got a bad idea and in discussing it on the phone, you know my friend, my colleague says “ o---k—ay” now he’s communicating real hesitancy with his tones, so his tones and his words are not exactly lining up the billionaire investor hears the word “okay” and construes that as an agreement and later accuses him of lying. So I don’t care what the ratios are, somebody, we desperately want to hear yes everybody is, it’s an addiction and so we wanna hear it so bad somebody says o---k—ay and it very easy and say YES woohoo …. You know there’s incongruence and o---k—ay means, look “I’ve got some real problems with this.” So it’s how do you hear it, how do you dig into it so you don’t end up in a train wreck or somebody losing their job or deal going bad.” JR: “And speaking of which the interesting process I forget which chapter it was but you were talking about sometimes missing those clues and how important and valuable they can be and I one of the chapters you mentioned there were certain clues, there were hidden clues and I think this eludes to the name of your group and company coz they are referred to I believe as The Black Swans of their conversation, cues that are visible or you can see like , o---k—ay, should have picked up on that one but then there’s hidden things in every negotiation, little facts and details and information and things that you did uncover changes the whole picture and if I remember right this was one of the stories if you won’t mind sharing, the gentleman who the Black Swans were something he had said no one parlayed, or no one had shared which landed up him stating that there was a certain time that he believe that he was going to leave this earth and no one heard that until afterwards and then it was like, holy smoke if we would have known that we knew he was already wanting to die - like and that was the Black Swan in that moment it was kinda hidden in the conversation or hidden from everyone knowing. So the value of purposely taking time to dig for the unknown what you said is expect the fact that there is unknown factors always.” CV: “Yeah and not gonna be gold mines, these nuggets are no small things I mean they are pieces of information and that if you get the other to tell you would change everything. And they’re always there because, it’s kinda of a two-step mind warp thing here, but were always hiding stuff in negotiations. There’s always stuff that we’re not revealing on the other side so what does that tell us. That tells us first, stuff not revealing is important otherwise we’ll reveal it. If we feel that they could gain all sorts of leverage on us we’d be vulnerable, then it also means we could trust them more but that we could make a better deal. So by definition, if we got those the other side’s got them. Now the hard part of wrap your mind around is, you know in the modern word of Donald Rumsfeld, “There are unknown unknowns.” what happens when hidden cards on both side is begin to overlap it’s you know I’d like to imagine it’s like playing Texas Holdem what would, happen if instead of taking the cards on the table that everybody gets to use, you got to see the other guy’s cards and together you can make up your best hand, that’s what you’re trying for here. But we’re scared to reveal this stuff. There are other reasons why being able to tell when somebody’s lying is not good enough because people only lie about stuff which they think is important and half of their Black Swans they don’t even know what’s important. And I was here in town and leaving in Los Angeles when I get the chance to maybe talk to the Hollywood types so I’m coaching a woman filmmaker recently she’s gotta investor and wants to buy into this film and invested in so this person cannot just be in the film but can play both primary roles. I think this person probably saw The Social Network the movie about Facebook and there was an actor that played the Winklevoss twins, the guy played both parts so this investor wants that and the film maker’s telling me , that’s gonna double our budget I mean even if I wanted to do that, the CGI, the cameras and everything else, it’s gonna be crazy, I can’t do it. “Alright so go back into the conversation and just open up the conversation and talk in the middle of conversation, the investor says “I wanna get this castle in France we can film in” .. oh what wait, woah… there’s a Black Swan, but nobody know if it’s there… or you know think based on the initial conversation, this person’s ego-driven and gonna destroy my budget and what they want. Well you know maybe they’re scared to let you know that they’ve got something to bring into the table. It’s gonna change everything, maybe they think you’re gonna take advantage of them if you got to know that so diving in, people always find crazy things by getting into the conversations.” JR: “I’ll give you a specific example that happen to me that really truly represents this and it’s something I wasn’t thinking of which it happened both ways, where we had a group reach out and it was interesting cause the fee they offered to hire us to speak was really small significantly smaller than what we would normally accept or ask for and I think they knew what our numbers were and just completely underbid it and I was like wow… but it also sparked my curiosity of why in the world would they offer that? Like that’s really small and I was scratching my head and I was like I call them and okay, what’s going on? We want to fly you to New York we want you to do an initial recording of your training and we’re gonna record it here in our studio, we’ll edit it, we’ll put it together and then we’re gonna do a digital broadcast out to probably 500 companies and as long as it’s liked we’ll do it like to another 10,000 companies and you know part of the training and we offer a couple of thousand dollars afterward. I was like, wow, we charged significantly higher than that and to do training for that many companies like we’re losing a lot of revenues by giving it all away to these companies and that was my initial thought, and I went to my Dad and I talked to him about it cause he’s been in this business for years , we’re talking back and forth so what are your thoughts? And he said, wait a minute, you never asked what is the important question and I said what? And he said, what companies are these going to? I don’t know… so I went back and asked and they said, L’oreal, Goldman Sachs, Price Water Cooper House, the biggest companies on earth and how long did it take them to build that relationship and they said they’ve been doing training with these companies for over 40 years. And he said how long will it take you to build that kind of relationship with these companies that they’re willing to put you directly inside these companies with your best stuff on showcase, how long will it take you to get into the door of all those places, and he said how many if it goes well? I said 10,000, he said buddy I don’t think you could pay for that kind of advertisement and I started laughing. And so the Black Swan was something I just didn’t even asked in that case who was going to because that was invaluable of like, Wow I didn’t realize that because it didn’t seem important to me at that time. My thought was I was losing revenue because they’re giving away our training to all these companies and in reverse it was actually helping us open a relationship with lots of companies that we had zero contact with before that and so this thought process of being able to dig around even if the information is sometimes at hand to you cause they handed that to me I just didn’t know what to do with it because that wasn’t very seasoned at that time and that field I went oh this is what to ask about that or this is how to do it and I think sometimes in looking for that Black Swan like you said something in the book were you always negotiate in teams. Which is having someone else to give you another perspective on what’s going on in case you can’t see it yourself, which in that case I couldn’t see what’s going on cause I don’t know what to look for. But luckily I have someone more seasoned from the team who knew what to look for and always on BINGO, there was the gold that we didn’t realize was sitting there the whole time.” CV: “We’ll here’s what else I really like about you telling me the story because you didn’t take yourself hostage in any way along the way. I mean, you’re curious your willing to find out, I mean of course your initial reaction was oh God you know that’s too low, I’m not gonna talk to these people or if I talk to them I’m vulnerable. I mean you still dig it in and one of the things we teach on a regular basis is you know don’t take yourself hostage by not willing to continue to talk or you know if they can’t make you say yes then you shouldn’t be afraid to talk to anybody regardless of what your perception is about the process and so you know you didn’t take yourself hostage anywhere along the line there as you pursue which I think is really cool about the way that you handle that.” JR: “Well that you, I think there’s something else I learned in the book that was really important too which was the example you said when you were teaching a class and you said okay, you give student A $10, and you tell them to make a deal with student B and you said GO, you both have to agree on it and you have to get the most you can out of this deal and you let them negotiate with each other and you were saying the different options of what happens there and so often, up here in our head, we start fighting for fair versus the reality." CV: “Ahh the F word” JR: "Yeah the F word, and that becomes a dangerous word because that’s an emotional pull in reaction into a situation and we lose our logical ability to understand what’s actually unfolding cause I think if I remember right you have people come back and say 5 and 5 or 6 and 4 and then people get pissed because it’s not fair and say, no I’m not accepting 4 you get 6, no I’m not accepting 5 even though it’s split , I want more than that, and you get these emotional reactions and I think one thing that’s interestingly you pointed out is that the deal that everyone should make is not $9 and $1 because in reality that’s the best deal the person with 10 bucks can get unless he keeps it all or she keeps it all. But then that fairness, that F word that sneaks in there gets people, would you mind sharing a bit about that?” CV: “Yeah you know once we start looking for it and I say we because I’ve got a team that I work with and I’ve got people that I’ve worked with that really contributed to the ideas. My son Brandon is probably an uncredited co-author of the book, he’s been so involved in helping develop the book since I left the FBI. So when we first, like fair man try and pick a negotiation that the word fair doesn’t come up. Probably impossible to have a conversation and it’s used both by the very manipulative types because they know how effective it is and is also use when people getting defensive and so that’s why we call it the F-bomb, because you throw the word fair out there like I just want what’s fair. And you’ve immediately accused you of being unfair and it would move them when it shouldn’t move, would have make them question themselves when they probably shouldn’t question themselves or they’d walk away from the deal they would have otherwise make them better off cause they didn’t think it was fair. And plenty of people I’m not getting what I’m worth here when take away the other side’s compensation and they would have thought it was a great deal. We tried to get into, I did some training for the National Hostage Negotiation team and then the training was over the relationship with the general contractor that brought us in fell apart we tried to get back in. There’s theoretically an $8 Million dollar contract potentially. I’m talking to a guy trying to get the introduction and he said “What’s my finder’s fee ? If I make this introduction I make this deal, and I said you know finder’s fee 10% is fair and I hadn’t really thought about it and said $800,000 would change my family’s life and I thought for myself at that moment he’s gonna make an introduction, maybe we’ll go to dinner if it works out he gets $800,000 for that dinner. That’s not fair (laughs) and we initially turned down that deal and afterwards I was thinking like that’s left over here was lots of money, you know how, what do I care how much he gets as long I get my end and I almost walk away from that from trying to make that deal we went back and said look, you got it , you get us this deal you got it. It ends up not working out but I taken myself hostage over this fairness thing and it’s everywhere, I mean I can change compensation on any deal I know it’s fair or unfair it’s gonna change every body’s perspective which is the most, almost insidious how often it comes up how much people change their minds.” JR: “It’s wild, I had that happen to me where I did a year of contract training with a company and then a few years later someone else who’s also on a training team got paid a radically different amount and all of a sudden a year of contract that seem one of my favorite things I did that year turned into something I was pissed about because I found out that was unfair how we were compensated. It’s wild how that emotion messes with you, so here’s a big question, how do people go about staying out of the F-bomb, the fairness thought process around this?” CV: “Well that’s one of the hardest things to do and a little bit of thinking through this is advanced and inoculating yourself. And also understanding how sometimes people can mess around with you, “ Like it wasn’t fair, you know your share that wasn’t fair that they got…”. The classic question I’d like to ask people is if you were taught how to expand the size of a pie, would you take a smaller portion? And most people were like no..no, I’m gonna expand the pie and I’m gonna take the less result? The great example I’d like to use a lot of times is the last lockout…the players they put all these money on the owner’s pocket and they got the smaller percentage of the pie, that wasn’t fair, well they are doin’ pretty damn good as a result. JR: “That’s a 100 million dollar contract in a bad small slice of the pie.” CV: "Yeah, they are making much more money and you know my book is another example , you know I pulled a team together to bring together this book my co-writer Tahl Raz the people I collaborated with they did a very great job and I ended up with the smaller portion of the total pie from the book proceeds but my smaller portion is significantly larger than a lot of other authors 100% of the pie. So I expanded the pie enough so that my percentage is more take home dollars for me and it’s a much better product as well so it’s a hard thing to do but again it’s not about taking yourself as a hostage.” JR: "Smart, and I think what you just said there is brilliant especially for small business owners the concept of if you can expand it enough if you can strengthen the quality of your product or service if you can strengthen the reach the amount of people you’re gonna get to. If you can add something by splitting it with someone gonna add so much value to what you’re doing that everything expands even your piece, is still worth more as a whole than if you would have kept the whole thing yourself and not expand it and not better the product and not better the service. I think that’s really important for people especially towards the beginning because we have this very weird mindset of like oh my gosh if I split half I’m left with barely anything. Instead of thinking if I split half and we make it this much better that’s better than I would have done on my own. That little distinction is really important for all entrepreneurs, but especially the beginning stages.” CV: “Yeah and a lot of reasons we got concerned about those pieces we’re scared to control there’s another issue of speed, how fast will you get things done suddenly were working by committee, there’s a phrase I heard not too long ago, you wanna go fast go alone, if you wanna go far go as a group, yeah you go fast but you don’t go far and you go far with the team. Teamwork seems inefficient in short-term but in the long-term, you get wealthy as a team, right?” JR: I like that, I like that, so a couple of questions, thank you for spending your time with us, and a couple of questions, if people want o go and grab a copy of this book, where do they go? Where is the best place? Is it amazon or do you have a site? CV: Amazon, you know it gives you the best price I gotta admit, you know I buy a lot of stuff on Amazon and I even get my best price if I buy copies of the book when I’m buying form amazon.” JR: “Same here, so go to amazon, look up “Chris Voss , Never Split the Difference” and if you’re watching the video is that yellow and red book sitting on right behind him on 2 different languages up there , if you’re listening, it’s a yellow on top and red at the bottom book just so you know you got the right one and then also for people who own a company or people who might be making a major negotiation on their life or business how do they get hold of you and your group and team to maybe help them out if they want to hire you guys for a service of bring you in for a training for their team ,where will they go for that?” CV: “The simplest way is we got a weekly negotiation newsletter, and for people that are in the United States if you send a text number to 22828 and the text is THATS RIGHT - T-H-A-T-S-R-I-G-H-T. No apostrophe, no spaces as if it’s all one word. That’ll give you the opportunity to sign up for the newsletter quick and easy comes out once a week and also we got a lot of training resources newsletter’s free that keeps you up on our different training events we’re gonna be in Los Angeles to a couple of days for a one day training event that’ll keep you to a lot of information about us, that’s the simplest quickest way is send that text THATSRIGHT no punctuation no spaces to 22828 . If you’re not in the US, the website is www.blackswanltd.com and you get a lot of same resources there.” JR: “Very cool so either they send that text or go to www.blackswantld.com if you’re listening to this look into show notes, if you’re on our blog, look below this video if you’re on Facebook or YouTube look below to see the link to take you right on over there and also the information about texting and thank you thank you thank you. I guess the last question I’d leave is I’m always curious, I just on a personal note what’s the message that you most want to leave with everyone who’s gonna watch this everyone who’s gonna listen, everyone who’s gonna tune in, what’s that core message that you really wanna ripple out that you hope they really get after watching all these and connecting with you here?” CV: “Great negotiations is about great long-term relationship, it’s not about I win you lose, If you and I win and you lose guy , that’s lose long term strategy. You know we don’t beat other people in all our deals. We beat the problem, we beat the situation. You negotiate with me I’m not negotiating to your expense , I wanna make a great deal with you and wish everybody had that attitude you know we win together , we win by collaborating and it’s not something we gotta hurt the other guy we gotta beat him. So great negotiations is great collaboration and it gives you a better life.” JR: “I like that, well again sir, thank you thank you for joining us here , thank you everyone for tuning in and checking out another episode, we’ll see you next week for another episode of JRCtv. Remember if you wanna grab a copy of Chris’ book you wanna go to amazon look up “Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss” also you can visit blackswanltd.com for bringing them out to your business to do some training on negotiation or some training or just for more information on learning from their newsletter make sure to visit there and check that out, and Chris Thank you one more time for joining us.” CV: My pleasure, I’m really honored to be on your show.
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