More than Milk

Humility is not something that's very highly valued in our world today, but it is a command of us as believers. Let's look together at how Christ is our example of humility and how we can be more like Him! Show Notes: Welcome back to More than Milk; I'm Hannah Rebekah. This week, we're talking about the Facet of the Fruit of the Spirit called humility. This is not included in the list in Galatians 5, but I could argue that humility is actually the root of the whole Fruit of the Spirit. None of the qualities we've looked at so far can be accomplished without humility. I would also argue that pride, the opposite of humility, is the original sin and the root of all sin, but that's a little outside the scope of what I want to talk about today. So what is humility? In the Old Testament, most of the words used for humility either meant or carried the connotation of being low or lowly. In the New Testament, there are only three words used, and they all carry this same meaning, as well. This gives us a good starting point for what humility means. We can picture someone kneeling before a king or master. Physical positioning has always connoted rank in human society. If you are higher up physically, you're higher up in rank, too. This is why thrones are elevated from the floor around them, why drill sergeants push into trainee's faces and physically look down on them, and why we imagine God as physically above us, even though Heaven is not even in this dimension. To be high up is to be superior; to be low is to be inferior. We all want to be superior. It's ingrained in our sin nature to seek a better position, more respect, more honor, more glory. This is our pride showing up. Even those who modern psychology would say need more self-confidence are prideful. As C.S. Lewis pointed out, humility is not going around telling everyone how lowly and poor and bad-off you are. That is just seeking attention and recognition in a different way. I am painfully aware of my own pride, which feels like both a curse and a blessing at times. I'm constantly wondering what other people are thinking of me, whether strangers or friends, and trying to do things that will increase their opinion of me. I hate it. It's gotten a little better over the years, especially as I learned about identity in Christ, but it's always there, lurking in the background. I bet you can relate. What exactly we want people to think of us is different from person to person because of personality and experiences, but we all want others to think and notice certain things about us and, ultimately, to think well of us, whatever that means to each person. Instead of this, the New Testament writers command humility of us. 1 Peter 5:5 says, “Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'” The word for pride here literally means “over-shine,” as if the person is calling attention to themselves more than they have the right to. The word for humility, what Peter says we are to clothe ourselves with, means “a deep sense of moral littleness.” I love that. This means true humility comes when we recognize the perfect moral purity of God and then also recognize our own deep moral failings. When done well, this leads us into a sense of wonder at God and the grace He shows us in choosing and redeeming and using us in His righteous plans. Philippians 2:3-11 says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Here we have a command (don't be selfish but be humble), the power to do the command (have this mind, which is yours in Christ Jesus), the perfect example of living out the command (Jesus' death on the cross), and the reward for following through (exaltation by God). Let's break it down and take it piece by piece. “Do nothing from selfish ambition…” The word translated as “selfish ambition” carries the idea of a mercenary, someone who does whatever they can for personal gain, regardless of the consequences to others. In war time, mercenaries will fight for whoever is the highest bidder. They have no loyalty to one party or another and have the potential to double-cross their employer if offered higher pay. When we live without humility, we are like mercenaries who work only for our sin natures. Whatever looks like it will give us the best high, the most money, or the most attention, we do it, and who we hurt in the process doesn't matter, so long as the right people still think of us what we want them to think. “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit…” The word for conceit means “baseless pride,” so this means “don't do anything just because you think you're all that and a bag of chips.” We all know people who walk around with a swagger and a chip on their shoulder. They expect the world to be handed to them just because. That's this baseless pride or conceit. “...but in humility”—that's the same word that means thinking of yourself as morally little—“count others more significant than yourselves.” The idea behind “more significant” is literally “higher.” So it is coming from the same word picture we looked at earlier of thrones and bowing. We should essentially think of those around us as a higher rank than we are. So the same way we would treat a superior military officer, a judge, a government official, a pastor, or a professor is the way we should treat each other—with deference, respect, and an awareness of their needs. “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” This is expounding on the previous idea. Not only are we to think about ourselves and our own needs and cares but also those of the people around us. “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus…” “Mind” here is really the way you think and interpret the world and the actions you do because of that. We might say “worldview” instead. So we're to see things through the same lens that Jesus saw them and act accordingly. (Side note: The Greek doesn't actually say “which is yours in Christ Jesus.” The ESV doesn't do a great job translating that. It's more like “Have the same mind that Jesus had,” but the implication of the context and the rest of Paul's writings is that if Jesus had it and it's a command for believers, you can have it by the power of the Holy Spirit.) “...who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” This is so huge. Jesus had every right NOT to be humble. He is God Himself, after all. But instead of viewing His equality with God the Father as something He needed to keep and hold onto, He gave it up for the sake of our good and His glory later on. Just the idea that the Creator of the world would become like one of His helpless creatures and then allow Himself to be killed by them for their own good is so difficult to grasp. And then to remember that when people don't think of us the way we want them to, we get mad. How petty we can be. “Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Here we see the reward Jesus received on the other side of the cross. We have a similar reward waiting for us. Just look at a few passages: James 4:10, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.” 1 Peter 5:6, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you.” Luke 14:11, “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Some of this can happen in this life. We can see examples around us of those who have been humble before God and sought the good of others and now have a platform and a following because of it. But we don't always see the exaltation here and now, and the better part of this will come in Heaven, when God rewards those who have followed Him. So if believers can have the same perspective as Jesus, seeing others as higher ranked than themselves and deserving of love and sacrifice, what form of humility can the world have? In general, humility is not a value of the world. Our culture preaches self-confidence and encourages people to push their limits and get as far up the ladder as they can. When people speak words of caution or try to place boundaries, they say things like, “You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.” All those who don't support you being your “best self” can just get out of the way. However, there are those who are not believers who appear very self-sacrificing or self-depreciating. I think there are two types here. One we talked about at the beginning, those who say they are nothing and not worthy of love or attention but desperately want it and wish they were. These are the people Lewis says are not humble because they're always talking about how worthless and unworthy they are. The second group is those who do great and impressive things for good causes. They appear self-sacrificing and humble, but on the inside, they are doing all of it because they want the attention and admiration that comes from it. If you were to give them the option to do it all under the table so that no one knew about it, they wouldn't take it, because that would defeat the point. This is why Jesus says in Matthew 6 not to “let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,” to call out those who were only doing good so that others would notice. There is often an objection that comes with teaching about humility. “If I am always humble and looking out for others and not trying to fill my own needs, who will care for me?” First off, we should recognize that Paul does not say, “Let each of you look out only for the interests of others.” We are not to be slaves to other people and never care for ourselves. We are to view others as superior to ourselves and thus prioritize their needs whenever possible. The second answer to this is the beauty of God's perfect plan for Christian community. Because we all have different skills, resources, and spiritual gifts, the only way for everyone's needs to be met is if everyone is looking at those around them for the ways their specific gifts can fill those needs. When everyone is filling others needs, everyone's needs are met. This works so much better than when each person is only trying to get their own needs met, because in order to meet our own needs, we need other people's gifts and abilities. We are not enough for ourselves. When we're all self-seeking, we have to haggle and manipulate others to take care of us instead of themselves. When we're all doing what we can for those around us, everyone's gifts, abilities, and resources are utilized to their fullest potential, and everyone's needs get met to the fullest extent possible. It's really beautiful when it works the way it's designed. So how do we get more humility? We touched on one of the best ways at the beginning. The more clearly we see God for who He is, the more obvious our own moral failings become, and the more humble we are. Another way is to be intentional about looking outside ourselves and seeing the world from other people's perspectives. It is so easy to go through life only thinking about yourself, your needs, your desires and dreams, your struggles, etc. But all we need to do is ask a few questions of those around us to see that our lives are not the only ones with depth. Other people are hurting and celebrating and worrying, too. When we become aware of that, it is humbling, and a world of opportunities for service and kindness opens before us. In conclusion, we are to think of ourselves as morally little, always in need of the grace of the Holy Spirit. We're to think of those around us as ranked higher than us, treating them with respect. And we're to see the world through the lens Jesus used, always ready to sacrifice our comfort and reputation for the sake of the Kingdom, remembering that God will reward us and vindicate us on the other side. Thanks for joining me on the podcast today. Visit my website at storiesbyhr.com for more great content and to see if I can help you tell your story better. I hope you'll join me next time when we finish our series by looking at the spirit of forgiveness.

Unity in the church is a hot-button issue--and it should be! But how do we achieve it? Many think we should either avoid teaching or compromise on doctrines that are hard to understand, but there is a better way. Show Notes: Welcome back to More than Milk; I’m Hannah Rebekah. This week, we’re talking about the facet of the Fruit of the Spirit called unity. Again, this is not one of the aspects listed in the Galatians 5 passage, but we can be sure that it is a part of the Fruit of the Spirit because it is commanded by God (through Paul and others) of believers and promised through the power of the Spirit. The idea of Christian unity comes from all over the New Testament. 1 Corinthians 1:10 says, “I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment.” 1 Peter 3:8, “Now finally, all of you should be like-minded and sympathetic, should love believers,  and be compassionate and humble.” Philippians 2:2-3 "fulfill my joy by thinking the same way, having the same love, sharing the same feelings, focusing on one goal. Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves." There are many more. The theme we can see through these verses is that of having “no divisions” and the “same mind.” Before we get into what this means, let’s look at what it does not mean. I have observed that most Christians (maybe all), at some point relatively early in their spiritual growth, reach a point when they look around and realize that there are so many different beliefs and disagreements between those claiming the title of “Christian,” and they feel a grief about this. I think this is a good, Spirit-led grief. We should be saddened that there are so many divisions within the Church. However, I have also seen that the common, knee-jerk reaction is to want to compromise on what we believe so that everyone can be together. “Maybe if we just focus on the gospel and not all the other theological issues, we can all worship together as one and not have these divisions.” This is a deadly dangerous response. We cannot compromise on truth for the sake of perceived unity. First of all, Paul himself says in 1 Corinthians 11:17-18 that there must be divisions, otherwise we won’t know who the true believers are. “For to begin with, I hear that when you come together as a church there are divisions among you, and in part I believe it. There must, indeed, be factions among you, so that those who are approved may be recognized among you.” Second, if we look at the history of the church, we can see that the denominations which hide the harder and more controversial truths of the faith and focus solely on the gospel and other “easy” truths are the ones that quickly slip from truth all together. The gospel is upheld by foundational truths, such as God’s total sovereignty, the trinity, the virgin birth, the total depravity of man, and so many more. Without a thorough understanding of these things, the gospel loses its power and wonder. God is never served by watering down or avoiding truths because they are hard or divisive. So if that’s not the path to Christian unity, what is? How do we have the “same mind” that Paul and Peter command? I want to look at two passages more in depth. Ephesians 4:1-8, 11-16 says, “Therefore I, the prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, accepting one another in love, diligently keeping the unity of the Spirit with the peace that binds us. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope at your calling— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all. “Now grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of the Messiah’s gift. For it says: ‘When He ascended on high, He took prisoners into captivity; He gave gifts to people.’ ... “And He personally gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers, for the training of the saints in the work of ministry, to build up the body of Christ, until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of God’s Son, growing into a mature man with a stature measured by Christ’s fullness. Then we will no longer be little children, tossed by the waves and blown around by every wind of teaching, by human cunning with cleverness in the techniques of deceit. But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into Him who is the head—Christ. From Him the whole body, fitted and knit together by every supporting ligament, promotes the growth of the body for building up itself in love by the proper working of each individual part.” Romans 12:3-19 says, “For by the grace given to me, I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he should think. Instead, think sensibly, as God has distributed a measure of faith to each one. Now as we have many parts in one body, and all the parts do not have the same function, in the same way we who are many are one body in Christ and individually members of one another. According to the grace given to us, we have different gifts: “‘If prophecy, use it according to the standard of one’s faith; if service, in service; if teaching, in teaching; if exhorting, in exhortation; giving, with generosity; leading, with diligence; showing mercy, with cheerfulness.’ “Love must be without hypocrisy. Detest evil; cling to what is good. Show family affection to one another with brotherly love. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lack diligence; be fervent in spirit; serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer. Share with the saints in their needs; pursue hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. Be in agreement with one another. Do not be proud; instead, associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Try to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes. If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone. Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for His wrath. For it is written: Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay, says the Lord.” Did you hear any similarities in those two passages? Both of these passages are talking about how to live in unified community with one another. The Romans passage doesn’t specifically mention unity, but Paul does say “we who are many are one body in Christ.” And if you look at the list of principles for Christian living, the result of living those out would be unity. Before we get too far into this, I want to point out that there are two different types of unity. One is living in community together and getting along and not quarreling. The other is to think the same and be on the same page. I think they are tied together but separate concepts. In the passages we saw at the beginning of the episode, the biblical authors are talking about the second type of unity, and that’s what we’re focusing on today. I believe it is easier to get to being on the same page with one person or a group of people if you live together in community than it is if you are apart. I think this is a major reason for why God organized the Church to have local bodies of believers who are intended to live life together and not just come together one day a week. I think it’s also a major purpose of God’s in marriage, but that’s for another day. Both of these passages—Ephesians 4 and Romans 12—are written to local bodies of believers and geared more toward (but not exclusively, especially the Ephesians one) the first type of unity—that of getting along. However, there are principles here to help us with the second type as well. The first similarity we see is Paul calling for humility. This is of the utmost importance. I was sitting with a friend the other day, and he said something like, “It would be arrogant of us to believe we were born into the correct denomination.” I think there’s a lot of truth to that. If we are going to be “of one mind,” we first have to be willing to be wrong. I guarantee you that there are things you grew up being taught about God and the Bible that are false. I guarantee it. We have to be willing to question every teaching and belief and compare them with Scripture to find the truth. The second similarity is the reminder of our oneness in Christ. This is where our power to be of one mind comes from and why we are to be of one mind in the first place. Romans 15:5-6 says, “Now may the God who gives endurance and encouragement allow you to live in harmony with one another, according to the command of Christ Jesus, so that you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ with a united mind and voice.” Here we see the tie between the two types of unity, the source of power for accomplishing both, and the reason for them—“so that you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” We must seek to be one in Christ, by the power of Spirit, for the glory of the Father. Unity, like everything else, is from God, through God, and for God. The third similarity we see in these two passages is the mention of spiritual gifts. This is important because it reminds us that we are to be one in purpose, power, and doctrine, but we are not called to be one in method. There are many different personalities, abilities, and spiritual gifts within the local and global church, and they are all necessary. After these similarities come to an end, Paul continues in Ephesians 4 by saying that if we use our spiritual gifts “for the training the saints in the work of ministry, [and] to build up the body of Christ,” then the whole body will “reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of God’s Son” and grow into mature saints. This is the other reason spiritual gifts and the local body of believers is so important. When we are all actively participating in the local church and using our spiritual gifts, it helps us all to become equipped, built up, and full of faith in God and knowledge of Him. From that knowledge of God comes the maturity to recognize false doctrine, as we see in verse 14. Thus, we are not to avoid speaking about sound doctrine, but those of us who are mature are to speak the truth in love so that we can all grow more like Christ and have the same mind that He has on everything. So what do we do when we disagree? First of all, to the best of your ability, make sure that you are, in fact, right. Do the research; ask knowledgeable spiritual leaders in your life; look up opposing opinions online. When it comes to any doctrine, don’t just know what you believe, know why you believe it, and always be willing to be proved wrong. My best example of this is that I grew up in a denomination that preached the rapture. When I went to college, I came across some beliefs that called that into question, so I started doing the work. Now I don’t believe the rapture is biblical (but that’s also a topic for another time). Second, speak the truth in love. If you are in a doctrinal disagreement with someone and you’re sure you’re correct, have a conversation with them that’s based in truth (not opinion or personal experience) and do it calmly and with care. Maybe you convince them, and maybe you don’t, but they should not walk away from the conversation doubting whether or not you’re still their friend or thinking you might be angry with them. The third thing is that you have to be prepared for them to not be convinced right away. Paul gives us a good example of this in Philippians 3:15-16. Paul finishes his discourse on the futility of works and the righteousness that comes through Christ, and then he says, “Therefore, all who are mature should think this way. And if you think differently about anything, God will reveal this also to you. In any case, we should live up to whatever truth we have attained.” Once we have presented our case, we must leave it in God’s hands and trust that the Holy Spirit will convince those who are believers of the truth. So if unity is a facet of the Fruit of the Spirit, what is it that not believers can have? This is a fascinating question—well, I always think that—but I think it’s especially interesting in this case. We all know unbelievers who rally themselves around a cause or idea or organization. They are unified in their support. What’s the difference between that and the church? I think there is one major difference. Most often, nonbelievers begin unified in their thinking and then find each other. As far as I know, only the Holy Spirit has the power to bring people together from all walks of life, all corners of the world, all personalities, all belief systems, cultures, and religious heritages, and change them to be unified in their thinking and living—and all without cohersion. Christianity is not a group of people who all believed roughly the same thing and then came together to form a group. Even from the beginning of Jesus’ ministry, He pulled people from different backgrounds and experiences and changed their very way of thinking and being to reflect Himself. That is the power of Holy Spirit given unity. In conclusion, let us remember this: all truth is God’s truth. If we consistently seek God and try to learn more about Him and His Word with a spirit of humility, we will find ourselves growing more and more unified with the believers around us who are doing the same. When we find ourselves in disagreement, let us speak the truth in love and pray for humility, wisdom, and understanding for ourselves and those we are talking to. Thanks for listening to More than Milk. Visit my website at storiesbyhr.com for more great content and to see if I can help you tell your story better. I hope you’ll join me next time when we talk about humility.

Thankfulness has a power to transform our attitude and outlook on life. It's no wonder scripture commands it of us! Let's look at how it is possible to be thankful even when life is hard. Show Notes: Welcome back to More than Milk; I’m Hannah Rebekah. Today we are talking about thankfulness, which is a part of the Fruit of the Spirit not mentioned in the Galatians 5 passage. How do we know it’s a part of the Fruit of the Spirit, then? Let’s look at Ephesians 5:18-21, “And don’t get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless actions, but be filled by the Spirit: speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music from your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.” Paul says here to be filled by the Spirit and then lists a bunch of things that are a result of being filled with the Spirit. This list includes singing to each other and to God, giving thanks always and for everything, and submitting to one another. Additionally, there are many commands in the New Testament to be thankful, and we know that nothing God commands us to do can be done apart from the Spirit, which also means this must be part of the Fruit of the Spirit. Romans 1:21 even goes so far as to say that a failure to express gratitude to God is a mark of an unbeliever. Clearly, we had better pay attention! So what is thankfulness? In the New Testament, the Greek words that we translate as “thank,” “thanksgiving,” and “thankfulness” all come from the root word charis. Charis is most often translated as “grace,” and it means “favor” and has the idea of giving something away for free. The thankfulness words use this word, charis, and another Greek word that means “good” or “well.” So translated loosely, these compound words mean “good gift” or “good grace.” The idea is that God gives us gifts (life, salvation, trials, friendship, food, etc.), and we recognize those gifts as good and express that we think they’re good to God in some way. So when I drink my coffee in the morning and it just hits the spot, I can recognize coffee in general and that perfect moment specifically as good gifts from God and tell Him I appreciate them. The bigger and more undeserved the gift, the more thankfulness abounds. Just think about your own life. When have you been given help, money, encouragement or something else that you felt like you were completely undeserving of? Didn’t your heart want to explode with thankfulness toward the giver? I remember back in September, I was packing up to move back up north after losing my job. A friend and her kids came over to help me. She packed my entire kitchen that day. I was so overwhelmed with gratitude. I had only known her for a year and had by no means earned all the things she and her family had done for me, including that day. There was no way I could ever repay her; all I could do was let her know just how grateful I was. I wished I could connect my heart to hers and show her just how much this seemingly simple act meant to me. So if the bigger the gift and the less we deserve it, the more thankful we are, then it makes sense that God should receive more gratitude than anyone else! The Bible talks a lot about being thankful. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Give thanks in everything, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6 says, “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” It’s one thing to say, “Be thankful for everything all the time,” but if you’re anything like me, you need specifics before that can really sink in. Here are just a few of the ways and times the Bible commands us to be thankful:       With praise/as an act of praise (Psalm 100:4, 106:1, 107:1, 69:30, 95:2, 1 Chron 16:34) o   In singing (Psalm 28:7) The Psalms are full of this correlation between thanksgiving, praise, and song. Psalm 95:1-2 says, “Come, let us shout joyfully to the Lord, shout triumphantly to the rock of our salvation! Let us enter His presence with thanksgiving; let us shout triumphantly to Him in song.” Being thankful starts as an internal thing. We feel gratitude, but praise and singing is external. It is something others can see and hear from us. The Bible commands both—feel thankful and express that in praise and song to God and in the presence of others so that they can hear and be built up by it.       As an essential component to prayer as a whole (Col 4:2, Phil 4:6) Colossians 4:2 says, “Devote yourselves to prayer; stay alert in it with thanksgiving.” So thanksgiving is an integral part of prayer, and it enhances every aspect of prayer, as well.       As an essential part of living the way God commands (Col 3:17, 2:7) Colossians 2:7 says, “Therefore, as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, overflowing with gratitude.” Here we see again that when Paul wants to summarize the important keys to living as a believer, thankfulness is included.       What are some specifics we’re supposed to be thankful for? o   Other people and their faith (Paul’s letters except for 2 Cor, Gal, 1 Tim, Titus [9 of 13]) At some point in 9 out of 13 of Paul’s letters, he tells the readers that he is thankful to God for them. He usually says something like “always, in every prayer of mine” and then lists the specific thing he’s thankful for right now about them. This is so powerful. Can you just imagine with me for a moment that every time you got a phone call from someone who is a mentor in your life, they started it off by telling you they’ve been thanking God for you on a regular basis and why? How encouraging that would be! o   Our spiritual victory in Christ (1 Cor 15:57) o   The gift of salvation (2 Cor 9:15) o   God’s goodness (1 Chron 16:34) o   The help God provides us in times of trouble (Psalm 28:7) o   God’s righteousness (Psalm 7:17) We’ve talked a little on here before about how it is possible to view things we might see at first as bad as blessings instead, but I think it’s worth touching on that again. As we’ve seen (and there are far more verses about thankfulness in the Bible that say this, too), God clearly tells us to be thankful and praise Him in everything. That means when you lose your job, when you can’t get pregnant, when your fiancée calls off the wedding, when you don’t have enough money for food, when your child dies, when the retirement fund vanishes, when there’s a national crisis, when someone you love turns their back on Jesus. In everything means in everything. It’s important to also note that the Bible doesn’t just talk about being thankful in the midst of hard things, it says to be thankful for hard things. How does that work?? When we can’t understand how it is possible to be thankful for hard things, we have to back up and evaluate our view of God. God created us “to the praise of the glory of His grace (Ephesians 1:6). So the first thing we need to remember is that we are not our own. We were not created simply to exist and be happy; we have a much greater, deeper purpose. Ephesians 1:4-6 says, “For He chose us in Him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted through Jesus Christ for Himself, according to His favor and will, to the praise of His glorious grace that He favored us with in the Beloved.” Here’s what most people don’t realize that this means: before time, before creation, before the world existed, perfect or broken, God decided to show the riches of his grace in saving us. That was the whole point of the world. That means that sin and death and brokenness were always part of the plan. God didn’t create the world perfect and then have to come up with a plan b) when Adam and Eve broke it with their sin. It was always the plan. Now that may not sound encouraging to you at first, but let’s think a little deeper about it. That means that your sin or someone else’s sin that has affected your life so deeply was not an accident either. It didn’t catch God by surprise. He doesn’t have to rearrange any plans to fix it. He planned it, just like He planned Adam and Eve’s sin, to the praise of His glorious grace. That doesn’t let anyone off the hook for their sin. There is still moral responsibility to be taken for every wrong thing you and anyone else has done. But in the midst of that, God’s plan is not shaken. That’s the first truth that helps us to be thankful when hard things happen. The second truth that helps with this is that of Romans 8:28, which says, “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.” Now we know from experience that this “good” that God is using everything toward does not mean we will have just easy and happy things in our lives all the time. Life is hard, and Jesus Himself promised the disciples that they would have trouble in this life. That can leave us in a false dichotomy. We might think that if this is true, either God either isn’t capable to pull off what He claims or that His definition of our “good” is not actually good for us but only good for Him. I’ve been pulled into believing that last one at times. But like I said, this is a false dichotomy. God is both completely capable of pulling this off, and He really does mean our personal, best possible good. How does that work? So first of all, we have to recognize that in order for God to show His grace, sin, pain, sadness, and all the rest of the things that come with a fallen world are necessary. We can’t avoid that. However, God is incredible, and He has made a way in this mess for us to experience pain and suffering and for it to be good for us. That is because the best possible thing that can be true for us is to be in close relationship with God, delighting in Him, valuing Him above all else, and trusting Him completely. That is the best thing for us, and it is the place where we will be the happiest and most fulfilled, regardless of circumstances. That is God’s goal in our pain. This is why it is often easier for those who experience hardship more often to truly trust God and delight in Him. There’s a reason God said it is easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter Heaven. When we have enough money to avoid suffering on the whole, there are fewer things to drive away from our sofas and to our knees. Obviously God has plenty of ways for even those with a lot of money to learn these same lessons. Anyone listening to this is almost certainly rich by global standards, and we’re learning. At the same time, I don’t know about you, but I can tell I’m learning very slowly sometimes, and it’s easy to forget again when life gets better. This is why every hard thing in our life can be viewed—not just as a thing to be thankful around, but—as a thing to be thankful for, knowing that it is drawing us into a deeper, more joyful, and fulfilled relationship with Christ. Now that we’ve looked at how and when we’re supposed to be thankful, let’s examine the differences between this facet of the Fruit of the Spirit and what the world can have. Thankfulness or gratitude is first a feeling of appreciation and gratefulness and then, when truly full and completed, an outward expression of that feeling in some kind of praise or thank you. The world is capable of feeling this and expressing it. We only have to attend a concert to hear the appreciation or do something nice for someone and watch them glow. So what’s the difference? I think there are two. First, non-believers cannot experience the fullness of thankfulness and praise because they do not recognize the ultimate source of the good thing they experience. Let’s think for a moment that you found out a friend of a friend did something incredibly nice for you. You don’t have the opportunity to tell them thank you yourself, so you ask your friend, who was involved but not responsible, to tell them on your behalf. It’s not the same, right? It’s similar with non-believers, even if they’re not always aware of it. Non-believers witnessing a spectacular sunrise or something similar might “thank the universe,” but something in them cries out that this is not enough. The other difference I think exists is that for non-believers (and for us when we are not grounded in truth), thankfulness can be tainted. I think of Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory, who hates gift-giving because it’s a social contract. He says it’s not enough to simply be thankful for a gift, you have to repay it in equal measure. This takes to an extreme what a lot of people feel. Acts of kindness, gifts, etc. feel like work because now you owe the other person. The truth for us in Christ is that everything comes from God. God enables every person who gives us anything or does anything nice for us to be able to do it. He decides how much money each person makes and speaks by the Spirit to every believer. Because of this, we who are on the receiving end can be confident that we owe no one anything, and we owe God everything. This doesn’t change our life, because we are already living for God. The second thing this does is to help us recognize when we give that we are owed nothing, because what we gave came from God in the first place. So how do we cultivate this facet of the Fruit of the Spirit? Practice, practice, practice. The more we are thankful, the more we will recognize things to be thankful for. The more we see things to be thankful for, the more we will give thanks. It’s a vicious circle that’s not really vicious but wonderful. Two years ago, I started this daily journaling thing. The first section is a place for thanksgiving. I write, “Father, thank You today for:” and then list three (sometimes more, but three is the minimum) things that I am thankful for. I try not to repeat things very often. Coffee is probably the most repeated thing, because I do it in the morning, and I almost always have my coffee handy, but I try not to use that more than once every month or two. Sometimes it’s hard to find three things to be thankful for. Some days I have four or five easily. But either way, it forces me to evaluate the previous day for the good things God is doing in my life and the good gifts He is giving me. I have definitely noticed a shift in my attitude since starting this, and I’m more apt to recognize things to be thankful for in the moment, too. I encourage you to start something similar. I don’t think it matters when you do it or in what format, but take deliberate time each day to be conscious of the blessings God is bestowing—the ones that feel like blessings in the moment and the ones that don’t. Another thing that can help cultivate thanksgiving is to keep a prayer journal. I have tried this a few times over the years and just started again today. The more we write down the things we are praying for, the more we can see when God answers them and thank Him for that. What are you thankful for today? What ways have you grown habits of thankfulness in your own life? I’d love to hear about it on facebook or Instagram! Thanks for listening to More than Milk. Visit my website at storiesbyhr.com for more great content and to see if I can help you tell your story better.

Everyone needs hope in order to live. When we don't have it, we give into despair. But what is it, and how do we get more of it? How is it tied to the Holy Spirit? Let's learn about it together on today's episode. Show Notes: Welcome back to More than Milk; I’m Hannah Rebekah. Today we are talking about hope, which is a little bit of a crazy story. If you’ve been a listener for a while, you know I haven’t released an episode since May. At the time, I was gearing up to run summer camp, and I knew there was no way to keep up with a podcast and run summer camp at the same time. My plan was to be back not long after summer camp ended. However, about the same time I was settling back into a post-summer rhythm, I was let go from my job because they could no longer afford to pay me, due to impacts from covid-19. Many of the things I had hoped for or hoped in shattered. New, desperate hopes took their place. “Please don’t make me temporarily move somewhere I don’t have a community already,” I prayed. “Please let me find another full-time job in Christian camping sooner than the almost three years it took me last time.” I moved this past Saturday back to a place where I have a strong community and at least a part-time job at a Christian camp. The following day at church, our pastor talked about hope and where it comes from and how to have more of it. When I opened my podcast document and read what I had promised the next episode would be about: hope. Then a couple days after I started working on this episode, a speaker at camp talked about the same thing! It’s like God knows what He’s doing and planned the whole thing. As I have dived into the Bible to look up what hope is, I have found a few things. Let’s start with the original languages. In Hebrew, there are several words that are translated as “hope” in English. They fall into three categories of meaning: to wait for with expectation or confidence, to trust, and to find refuge. In Greek, there are only two words translated as “hope.” They both mean to expect, one specifically means to expect something pleasurable. If we were to take these definitions and combine them into one, all encompassing meaning, we could say that “hope” is an expectation that something good is going to happen in the future, and that gives us mental and emotional relief or refuge from the things happening between now and when that good thing happens. This idea that hope is a sustaining force is important. If I’m going through something difficult, so long as I have hope that something good will eventually happen, I can make it through the hard things. This definition is a little different than in English but not completely. In English, there is room for hope to mean simply desire. When we say, “I hope it doesn’t rain today,” or “I hope I get that promotion,” we’re not expecting that this is the case, we are just saying that we want this to be the way things shape up. That’s not what the biblical meaning of hope is. To keep that straight, just think hope = expectation. The opposite of hope is despair. If hope is the expectation of good things to come, despair is the expectation that only bad things will come. You could call it negative hope. Hope and despair can’t coexist. So long as there is some hope, some expectation that something good will happen sometime, there is not despair. As soon as that hope is snuffed out, though, despair takes over. Hope is sustaining, but despair kills. Everyone can hope. You don’t have to be a Christian to have hope. All you need is an expectation of something. When I set out in the morning, I can hope (or expect) that it will be Michigan fall weather with a high of 65 degrees. I dress accordingly. However, my expectation can be wrong. I can hope in the wrong things, which leads to disappointment. Hoping in the wrong things happens for three reasons: 1) we have failed to do our research, 2) we have been deliberately misled, or 3) something unpredictable has happened. I’m sure we can think of examples of all three. I have failed to do my research on the weather many times. I expected that it would be sunny and dry, and it thunderstormed instead. I expect that it will be warm, and it is cold—or vice versa! Reason number two, that we have been misled, happens less often, at least for me, and it can be intentional or unintentional. Today at work, I was told that we were almost done, and the last two things I had to do were sweep and mop the kitchen. I hoped (or expected) that my work day was almost done and that as soon as I did those two things, I could leave. Partway through doing that, I was told that there was another thing to do. This crushed my hope and actually surprised me at how emotionally difficult it was to reorient my expectations with the new reality. The third reason, that something unpredictable has happened, we can see all the time! Someone hopes (or expects) to have an outdoor wedding, but it rains the day of. I plan to hang out with my friend, but then she comes down with a cold. So if anyone can have hope, what is it that sets Christian hope aside? As we’ve been learning throughout our study of the Fruit of the Spirit, we have learned that there is always something extra for us as believers when it comes to these things, otherwise it wouldn’t be Fruit of the Spirit, it would be fruit of being human! The difference between the hope we can have as believers and the hope that anyone else can have comes down to what our hope is in. If the core of hope is expectation, then we can have hope in things that are varying levels of certainty and importance. When I hope that the day is going to be good weather and dress accordingly, it is most likely not going to be life-altering if I have misplaced my hope and the weather is bad. On the other hand, if I entrust my life savings to a financial advisor, hoping or expecting that he will take care of it, and then he turns out to be a swindling crook, that matters a lot more. When it comes to the Christian life, the thing that is the most important of all is also the thing we can be most sure of, and the Bible talks about it so much! When I search “hope” in my English bible, I come up with 130 matches! 71 of those, or more than half, are in the New Testament. 1 Peter 1:3 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.” We have been born again to a living expectation. We are not placing our hope in something dead or unsure. Jesus Christ is the living proof that our expectation is not in vain. What is it that we are expecting? What are we hoping for? Romans 8:18-25 tells us, “18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” We are hoping for, expecting, looking forward to, and placing all our bets on the coming redemptions of our bodies, that one day the work of Christ will be completed in us and we will no longer be at war with the flesh but will be truly and fully holy as Jesus is holy. Whoo! What a day. Colossians 1:27 say it this way—Paul is talking about his ministry to the Gentiles, and He says—"To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” The presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives, Christ in us, is our living hope, the proof of our redemption and the seal that promises that one day we will be with God in glory, made new and free from sin. Ephesians 1:11-14 says, “11 In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, 12 so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. 13 In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, 14 who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.” This is why our hope as Christians is different, at least when we put our hope in the right things. All other things that we can hope in have a possibility of failure. Every single other thing that we expect to happen might break down and cause us disappointment. But not Christ. Not the coming redemption. It is a sure thing. What does this mean for us? If despair is the opposite of hope and we as believers have the ultimate source of hope, then despair is impossible for those who are in Christ. Now I know this is not a total reality. There are times when we experience some level of despair. Sometimes this is in part because of a chemical imbalance that we need help correcting. I am totally for medical intervention in such things. Much of the time, however, despair as a believer comes because we have lost sight of our ultimate hope. We have tried to put the weight of our expectations in something that cannot come through like we need it to. The cure for this is to reset our expectations, reevaluate what is most important in our lives, and refocus our eyes on Christ and His promises. Romans 15:4 says, “For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.” Reading scripture gives us hope. Studying how God has come through on His promises in the past and familiarizing ourselves with His promises for the future reminds us where our confidence should lie and what we should be expecting. Let’s remind ourselves of our definition of hope: an expectation that something good is going to happen in the future that gives us mental and emotional relief or refuge from the things happening between now and when that good thing happens. What other things do we put our hope in? Money is a big one. If I have a good job and I budget well, I can hope or expect that I will be able to save enough money to retire comfortably and not have to worry about taking care of myself when I am older. That is a secular hope. How about putting our hope in when the kids move out? When my kids are old enough to take care of themselves and they move out, I will be able to relax and have enough time to do what I love. That is a sustaining, secular hope. But what happens when those things fall through? What happens when the stock market crashes or a huge, unexpected bill comes and your retirement fund is decimated? What happens when one of your children experiences a traumatic brain injury and you realize you will be caring for them the rest of their lives? When we put the weight of our hope into things that can shift and drop out beneath us, we put ourselves in the position to be emotionally devastated, to the point where it is very difficult or impossible to recover. On the other hand, if our main hope is in the fact that someday we will be present with the Lord, in new bodies, free from sin, and joyful forevermore, then nothing that happens in this world will knock us off our feet. That’s not to say that things can’t be hard. The point of a secure hope is that it helps us through hard things, because there is something better coming. But those hard things are like blips on the radar of eternity when we have our hope fixed in Christ. Another thing I noticed about the right and wrong things we place our hope in is that it affects our interactions with other people. Having our hope in things that are temporary and earthly results in a hording mindset. For example, if we have our hope in money, we will be stingy with our giving, and we will take serious precautions against people stealing from us. On the flipside, the hope of believers is something to be shared. As our ultimate hope, Christ is big enough to hold the hope of us and everyone we know. We don’t have to keep Him a secret, lest too many people put their hope in Him and ruin it for the rest of us. Jesus is the hope that we can (and should!) share with everyone! So where are you at today? If you have been disappointed by something you placed the weight of your expectations in, try today to refocus on God’s promises for the future. Do a study on what is waiting for you in Heaven and how God has promised to sustain and care for you between now and then. If you have your hope in that, share it with somebody! Believers and non-believers all need to know about or be reminded of the hope that we have and how it can never be shaken. Thanks for joining me on the podcast today. I hope you’ll join me next time when we talk about thankfulness.

What things are we supposed to self-controlled from? How does that work? Does God really care about all the little details of our lives, or do we just have to follow Him the the big decisions? Show Notes: Today we’re finishing off the Fruit of the Spirit list in Galatians 5 with self-control. The Greek word is egkrateia, and it means “dominion within.” Self-control is the idea that nothing controls us but us. In the context of the Fruit of the Spirit, however, self-control would be better translated as “Spirit-controlled.” Egkrateia has more to do with the actions we don’t take than the actions we do take, but in every respect, we are to be controlled by the Spirit. Everything we do and don’t do should be because that is what God has asked of us. The reason we need egkrateia in the first place is because of the indwelling sin nature we all still have. Because of Adam’s sin, we have all been born into sin and are bound for hell because of it. Jesus paid the penalty for our sin on the cross and also made it possible for us to have His righteousness. This doesn’t take away the sin nature we were born with, however. It only takes away our need to obey our sin nature. We no longer have to follow it. But the pull toward sin still exists. We can all feel it. The only way to do the right thing, to do anything other than sin, is by the power of the Holy Spirit. The indwelling sin nature usually pulls us toward things that have an immediate reward but negative lasting effects. It takes lots of different forms, everything from eating sweets we don’t need and watching too much television to extramarital sex and murder. It’s easy to think that if we’re only doing the “little things,” it doesn’t really matter. It’s easy to think that God doesn’t have a plan for our lives in the tiny, mundane things but only in the larger “more important” things. We tell ourselves that when something big comes along, we’ll follow the Spirit and make the right choices. What I think we often forget is that there are two masters in this world that we can serve: God and everything that stands against Him—which is the world, the flesh, and the devil. Every single thing we do is for one side or the other. There is no middle ground, no action that is neither good nor bad. Your choice of how you spend every minute of your free time, every penny of your money, and every ounce of your strength is either good or bad. I think if we really get this, it should terrify us. How can we possibly know whether what we’re doing is right or wrong when it comes to small things? How can we say ‘no’ to the things of this world when the desire can be overwhelming? It’s one thing to say ‘no’ to murder. It’s quite another to deny ourselves that last brownie or extra scoop of ice cream or TV show we like to binge. The answer is egkrateia, Spirit-control. The Holy Spirit lives in us. He is what changes us to be more like Christ. He is what gives us wisdom in our decisions, pricks our conscience, and gives us the strength to say no to sin and yes to righteousness. We know non-believers don’t have self-control in the same way that believers can have it, but they do have some kind of self-control. What’s the difference? If non-believers are always fulfilling their own wants and desires, how is it that they can also say ‘no’ to their wants and desires? This is a very good question, and I think answering it will help to distinguish Spirit-control from self-control. Self-control is still always about what we want, but it values future gains over present ones. I want to have my weight under control. In order to do that, I have to eat well, exercise, etc. I also want to buy and eat that cheesecake in the store. Which want is greater? Which goal can I visualize more clearly in the moment? If the smoothness of the cheesecake in my mouth is a greater pull than being healthy, I’ll buy the cheesecake. On the other hand, if I can imagine all the benefits of being healthy—better sleep, less pain, more happiness, being comfortable in my own skin—and that outweighs the desire for cheesecake, then I won’t buy it. Being able to visualize a later goal and put off gratification is all non-believers have for self-control, and they’re often not very good at it. This is more obvious, I think, in wealthier cultures. When our immediate needs are met without much struggle, we tend to use our spare time and money on things that are not at all good for us in the long run. There are so many books and other media about the value of visualizing a long term goal so that we can put off gratification for our own good, but it doesn’t sink in. Spirit-control gives us the extra edge we need. Not only do we have more power to fight the desire for instant gratification, we have a brighter, more solid “why” to look to. It’s not just what I want later versus what I want now, self fighting self. It’s what does God want versus what do I want now, flesh versus God. Without the Spirit, that battle would be hopeless, but now our transformed hearts want to do what God wants. Even better, anytime we do what God wants, we receive a burst of Spirit-enabled joy. This is a more powerful reward than the enjoyment we get from following the flesh into sin, which means we are reinforced to do the right thing. So how do we cultivate this facet of fruit in our lives? You guessed it; step one is pray. When we lose sight of God and what He wants from us, the pull toward the flesh is overpowering and often even unnoticed in our lives because of its prevalence. In order to be woken from our mindless following the whims of the flesh, we need to pray for God to open our eyes to where we are not following Him. Maybe it’s the pull to waste time by checking your phone every five minutes or playing too many video games. Maybe it’s watching too much TV or not exercising. These things are not insignificant. If you weren’t wasting time every day doing things just to pass the time, what could you accomplish for the Kingdom? Who could you encourage? Who could you witness to or build up in the faith? What books could you write? What skills or hobbies could you use to bless others? We have been given such a blessing to live in a place where we don’t have to work every second of our lives just to feed and clothe ourselves, yet we waste so much of the extra time on things that will never last. Pray that God will open your eyes and give you the strength to resist the flesh and do the work He has set before you. Step two is to look for opportunities. If we are Spirit-controlled against doing things that are worthless, there must be things we can do that are worthwhile. Look for those opportunities. Don’t just look for ways to amuse yourself or pass the time. Find fulfilling outlets for the creativity and skills God has given you. There is a place for rest and rejuvenation, but most of us spend doing things that are really worthless, myself included. These things don’t really recharge us efficiently, and they are not productive for the Kingdom. A final thought on this before we close. The bigger God is in your mind—the more powerful, in control, and providential—the more likely you are to believe that the little things you do matter, for good for evil. If God is small in our minds, which is not remotely a true representation of Him, then it’s easy to believe that He just has grand, sweeping plans but not little details throughout the whole thing. It’s like the difference between two novels. One is extremely well written with intense foreshadowing and little connections you only see looking back. The other is simple and somewhat predictable. If we think of God as the author of the second, then the little details of our lives don’t matter. On the other hand, if we think of Him as the author of the first novel, then we will look for His hand in all things and expect what we do to matter in the grand scheme of things. God is the master storyteller. He can and does weave every little thing together. Only when we look back at the end of the story will we see how every little thing worked together to make the tapestry of history. Believe that you matter. Believe that God is in control. Surrender yourself to Him in the big things and the little ones, and watch how He works through you. Thanks for joining me on the podcast today. At the beginning of this series, we identified five things that are facets of the Fruit of the Spirit but are not mentioned in Galatians 5. We’re going to dive into those next time, starting with hope. I hope you’ll join me then.

Facets of Fruit: Gentleness Gentleness is power with reserve. Find out why there's no weakness in Spirit-given gentleness and why and how you should practice this facet of fruit in your life. Show Notes: Welcome back to More than Milk; I’m Hannah Rebekah. It’s been two weeks, and I’ve managed to produce a new podcast! Hooray for being productive and timely! Today we’re talking about the facet of the Fruit of the Spirit known as gentleness or meekness. The Greek word here is prautés, which means gentle strength or power with reserve and gentleness. I remember one year at summer camp a chapel speaker was talking through the beatitudes and called meekness “strength under control.” I think it’s easy to equate meekness or gentleness with weakness, especially in certain contexts. But the heart of prautés is power, not weakness. It’s all about how you use that power than matters. When you’re handling a newborn baby, you use a lot of gentleness—not because you aren’t capable of more but because gentleness is what’s required. We would never think positively about someone who manhandles a baby just to show off how strong he is. At the same time, there’s something very touching about a man with bulging muscles holding a tiny child so tenderly—and no one would dare call him weak! Handling babies is a good picture of what gentleness means, but it’s not the only place this facet of the Fruit of the Spirit is called for. In fact, we are always to have this quality. Anytime there is power to be had, it can be under control. We all know what the opposite of this looks like. It’s the proud and arrogant coworker who talks down to everyone and will do anything to get ahead. It’s the older sibling who uses their position to make their brother or sister work so they can do nothing. This “unnecessary roughness” is very common. I used to do a positive peer, anti-bullying program at the local school with the staff of the camp I worked for. We would go into the middle school and work with the 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th grades individually, for a half day each. Every year, we would ask the 7th graders how the 8th grade class had treated them, and every year, the answer was not great; they were abusing their power. We would also ask the 7th graders if they would break the cycle the next year. You could see the people who really thought hard about this, but there were always kids who yelled audibly that they were going to do the same things and enjoy being on top while they had the chance. Breaking that cycle is difficult, because we’ve all been hurt. We’ve all had people who used their power to gain the upper hand, and we’ve all thought to ourselves at one point or another, ‘Wait until I am in that position; I’ll show them. No one will treat me like this anymore.’ And then when we do move up the ladder, to prove to ourselves and others that we are powerful, we do the very same behaviors that we used to hate. To avoid this, we need meekness and gentleness. God has given all of us a measure of power, some greater and some lesser. He expects all of us to use that power not to build ourselves up and make ourselves look good but for the good of those around us. True gentleness can only come from the Holy Spirit because it requires that we first understand that God is taking care of us. Only then can we use the power He’s given us to better those around us. Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” That’s the heart of gentleness. So how do we cultivate this facet of fruit in our lives? As always, step one is pray. We need the power of God to look outside of ourselves and see how we can use the power God has given us to benefit others. Step two is continually be growing in the knowledge of who you are in Christ. When we forget, even for a second, that we are loved, valued, and planned for by God, it is so easy to use the power God has given us to make ourselves look and feel good at the expense of others. If we are going to be gentle, we must remember that we are worth so much in God’s eyes, and we don’t have to prove that to anyone, including ourselves. Finally, we need to cultivate a Spirit of humility. As C.S. Lewis put it, gospel humility is not thinking less of ourselves but thinking of ourselves less. A humble and gentle spirit is aware of other people more than of itself. So what does all this look like practically? In conversation, a gentle person looks for ways to make the other person feel known and heard instead of looking for opportunities to make themselves heard. This is a big one and a great first area to work on. Pay close attention to your thoughts and words when you’re talking to someone. Are you always looking for ways to interject your own life and thoughts into what the other person is saying, or are you really listening to and hearing the other person? Instead of trying to bring the conversation back to you, ask yourself what emotions are behind what the other person is saying. Is there something they’d like to say but are waiting to see if you care enough to hear it? If we’re always turning conversations back to ourselves, we will miss opportunities to love people, because they will be less likely to really open up about their needs. This is not to say that we can never talk about ourselves or our own needs, but we have to balance it and be aware of why we’re talking about ourselves. Is it just to get noticed? To prove that we’re better at something? To point out that we have it worse? Those are selfish motivations. On the other hand, it is totally okay to let a close friend know that we’re struggling and need help with something. That’s not being needy or proud; it’s being real and honest the way the Body of Christ was designed to be. So what else does gentleness look like? It means not looking for praise for yourself but looking for ways you can build up others around you. It means not grabbing at leadership opportunities so you can have the power but evaluating if you as the leader would be best for the whole team or if it would be better if someone else were. It means serving those under you, like Jesus washing the disciples feet. Having power is not bad. Our positions of leadership and power over other people, whether it’s relational, positional, or whatever, comes from God. I don’t want you to come away from this thinking you can never be in a leadership role again because it’s wrong. If you are wired to be an effective leader, don’t shy away from that. But when you have power, use it well. Use it for the good of the whole and not just for yourself. Be the kind of person people want to follow, rather than the person they can’t wait to get out from underneath. This is important even if you’re not a “leader,” because everyone has power somewhere. Whether you have a little or a lot, know your power and look for ways to use it well. Those who are responsible with little will be given more. Thanks for joining me on the podcast today. I hope it will open your eyes to see where maybe you are misusing power and also to where you have some power that maybe you didn’t realize. I will see you again in two weeks when we talk about the facet of the Fruit of the Spirit called self-control. I hope you’ll join me then.

Facets of Fruit: Faith Is it faithfulness or faith? Is there a differences? We'll do a little Greek study and then learn why this facet of the Fruit of the Spirit is more important than any other, how we can cultivate it in our lives, and how it's relevant to our world-wide situation today. Show Notes: Welcome back to More than Milk. I’m Hannah Rebekah. I started this episode back in the fall, but I had a serious case of writer’s block. I wrote about half the episode and just couldn’t get it finished. So I benched it for a few months. But now this pandemic has given me both the time and a little relevant material to finish it. I plan to get back on track and do an episode every other week or more. We’ll see how that goes! As you may or may not remember, we were in the middle of a series on the Fruit of the Spirit. Today we’re looking at the facet of the Fruit of the Spirit known as faith or faithfulness. Here we have another translation oddity. This is not the normal Greek word translated as English ‘faithfulness.’ It’s the word most often translated as ‘faith.’ Even though faith is the English root word for faithfulness, they’ve come to mean very different things. Faith means having trust or belief, whereas faithfulness means being worthy of trust or belief. I think both could be listed with the Fruit of the Spirit, but only one of them actually is. So what is faith? The Greek word is pistis, and it means to persuade or be persuaded. We know that biblical faith, like every other facet of the Fruit of the Spirit, is Holy Spirit given. So to have faith is to be persuaded by the Spirit that what God says is true and worthwhile. The result of having this facet of the fruit of the Spirit in its fullness would be a life lived the way God requires. Because like we talked about back in January, we always live what we believe. So if we are believing and being persuaded that God’s way is best, we will live like that is true. This would mean no fear, no battle with sin, no questioning if God really knows best, perfect contentment and joy, and so much more! We will never achieve this facet of fruit in its fullness here on earth, which really is true of all of them. But when we understand what this facet means, perhaps it is more obvious here that we will always fall short than in other areas. To have perfect faith is to be perfect; every other facet of fruit falls under and flows out of this one. Faith is the first aspect of the fruit of the Spirit that we see in a believer’s life, because it is by Spirit-given faith that we are born again of the Spirit. But it doesn’t and shouldn’t stop there. We need this fruit at every step of our Christian life. Faith in God and His promises is what helps us conquer fear, overcome persistent sin issues, do things other people might think are crazy for the sake of the Kingdom, and so much more. So if faith can only be given by the Spirit, what do non-believers have? Two things. First, they can believe things that are objectively provable. They believe in science and fact. But as we can also see with the spread of postmodernism, even that is a gift from God, though not one that is only for believers. Second, non-believers can have fanciful beliefs that can’t be proven, such as superstitions and other traditional, handed down beliefs. To a person without the Spirit, ‘faith’ is not needed to believe in facts; it’s for believing things that can’t be proven. This means it’s often not seen as a good thing, because believing things that can’t be proved can be seen as a little on the crazy side. That’s not to say, of course, that you can’t have people who have both scientific beliefs and unprovable beliefs. I dare say probably everyone does, though I’m sure many people would argue that they only believe things that can be proven. We know, however, that real faith has little to do with whether or not something can be proved. Instead, it’s all about what God says. To have biblical faith is to know what God says, believe it, and live it out. So how can we cultivate this facet of fruit in our lives? First of all, as always, is prayer. If faith comes from God, then if we want more of it, we should ask. Second, if faith is believing and doing what God says, then we can’t have faith if we don’t know what God says. We should be in the Word daily, reading with the intent to understand who God says He is, how He views the world, and what He wants from us. Finally, we should give those around us permission to call us out on faithless actions. My greatest times of spiritual growth were when I was living and working with people who had permission to call me out when something I said or did was not based in truth. I had the same permission with them, and we made full use of the opportunity. Is it always easy? Certainly not. But it’s always worth it. Surround yourself with people who know the Word and will hold you accountable. This helps to both make the bible practical and to help you know it better. If you’re wondering what faith might look like in the face of a world-wide pandemic, here’s a few thoughts. God has said He will never leave us or forsake us. He’s promised to work all things together for the good of those who love Him. He’s said He will not give us temptations greater than we can bear. He’s promised to supply ever need we have from His riches. He’s told us we can (and should) cast our cares on Him because He cares for us. He’s promised to hear us when we call on Him. The life marked by faith believes these things and is affected to their very core by them. This person doesn’t hoard, doesn’t withhold good they could do, cares for others, is not afraid but instead trusts that God has a plan and is not caught off guard by anything that has happened. This person looks for opportunities to draw closer to God and serve others with His power and love in the midst of a crisis. This person doesn’t take advantage of situations or find loopholes in the rules and seeks to do what is best for everyone around them because they know God will care for them. I hope this is you, and if it’s not, I hope you are praying for God to change you into this person. God does not withhold from us when we ask to be more like Him and how He has commanded us to be. These kinds of prayers are always inside His will, and He will always grant them. Thanks for joining me on the podcast today. I am praying for all of you, that God will give you peace and that He will use this to bring about greater trust in Him. Lord willing, I will be with you again in a couple weeks to study the facet of fruit called gentleness. Hope you’ll join me then.

Facets of Fruit: Kindness & Goodness Today we talk about two items on the Galatians 5 list of the Fruit of the Spirit: kindness and goodness. These two facets of fruit are eerily similar, and their Greek roots can both be translated as "goodness." We'll look at key differences. Show Notes: I’m back! I am planning to move to an every two weeks format for this podcast. With a full-time job, it is proving just too much work to put a new episode out every week. One of my favorite podcasters puts out a half hour long episode every week day, and I don’t know how he does it. If you have been listening for a while, you know we are in the middle of a series on the fruits of the Spirit. We have already looked at love, joy, peace, and patience. Today we’re going to look at both kindness and goodness. I think you’ll understand why I decided to do both in one episode in a minute. I started researching kindness and thought I knew what I was going to find. I was wrong. First of all, kindness is not a word used very frequently in the bible. A topical search revealed only a handful of English uses in the ESV. So I turned to the Greek. The Greek word translated as “kindness” or “gentleness” is chrēstotēs (khray-stot'-ace). It is used ten times in the NT, and it’s meaning is not at all what I expected. I was thinking maybe benevolence, gentleness, generous, thoughtful, etc. Nope. The top definition is “useful.” Next to that is “moral uprightness.” Hang on. Isn’t that what goodness is? So I looked that one up. The Greek word translated into English “goodness” is agathosune (ag-ath-o-soo'-nay), which means “intrinsic goodness, especially as a personal quality, with stress on the kindly (rather than the righteous) side of goodness.” So basically I don’t understand why it’s not “goodness, kindness” instead of “kindness, goodness.” I’m betting the English words have evolved a little and it made more sense years ago. But anyway, let’s look at what they mean for our lives. Chrēstotēs, the useful, moral uprightness, is used ten times in the NT and is translated as both goodness and kindness. It is used more often of the goodness of God but also a few times as a characteristic that we, as Holy Spirit indwelled people, should display. So as before, we see that this is a gift from God and not something that unbelievers can exhibit. The key to chrēstotēs is goodness that is useful. Think James 2:14-17 “14 What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? 17 So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” Chrēstotēs sees to needs. It is love in action. It does what is fitting and useful for a person at a given time, without cruelty. Without cruelty doesn’t mean it will always be enjoyable for the person being served. To speak truth into the life of someone who is not living in truth would be very in line with the heart of chrēstotēs. Our society doesn’t have a category for this. In a postmodern age, to make a truth claim is to oppress. In the mind of our culture, it is impossible to correct without being cruel. We ought to know better. The trick for this is to follow Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” When we correct because we have to be right, we do it unkindly. We must convince the other person; they must see that we are superior; and if they feel bad about being wrong, that’s great. On the flip side, if we correct because we know that to know and live in the truth is the very best thing for that person (and for every person), we can be kind, gentle, sincere, and loving, with no need for validation for ourselves or humiliation for them. What else does chrēstotēs look like? It is cleaning up after yourself so others don’t have to. It’s replacing the toilet paper roll instead of leaving it for the next person. It’s getting your friend a glass of water when they need it. It’s paying for the person behind you in line. It’s giving half your lunch to the coworker that forgot theirs. It’s changing dirty diapers. It’s making dinner for your family. It’s cleaning off your spouse’s windshield in the winter. It’s cleaning your house. It doesn’t have to be anything big and extraordinary. It can be, certainly. I don’t want to discourage you from going to Goodwill, buying as many winter coats as you can afford, and donating them to a local shelter. That would surely be chrēstotēs. But large acts of goodness are built on a foundation of small acts of goodness. The more we do the little things all the time, the more our hearts change and want to be useful, want to see good done by the grace of God in the lives of those around us. So that brings us to agathosune. This word is only used four times in the NT and nowhere that we know of in Greek literature. Of the four times it’s used in the NT, three are about us as believers being empowered to have this quality by the Holy Spirit, and one is about God Himself. Because there is so little usage, it is harder to come to a clear understanding of meaning, but here’s my best guess. Have you ever met someone who you just know is a good person? Someone who is always kind, thinks the best of people, cares for others, stops to rescue turtles on the road, and is very cautious about saying anything bad about anyone? That’s the embodiment of agathosune. They’re so perfectly and wholly “good” that you can hardly imagine them doing anything like slamming a door out of anger or raising their voice. It’s not that they’re afraid of something or incapable of gathering that much strength of emotion. We all know those other types of people. It’s more that they have no reason to. They’re steady. Because of their confidence in Christ, they don’t take things personally. They have no need to show off or avenge themselves. They’re just “good.” If a secular world can’t have agathosune, what do they have instead? Where do they fall short in trying to have this virtue of goodness? It’s a little bit similar to what we talked about earlier with chrēstotēs.  It’s in being so “good” that someone fails to stand up to evil. It’s just going along with whatever everyone wants, even if it’s not necessarily in everyone’s best interests. My sister growing up was very, very kind and would do just about anything for anyone. My brother and I took advantage of this a bit. I remember when my parents would leave the house, my brother and I would watch Jeopardy, Family Feud, and The Price is Right, which we weren’t allowed to watch. We would set our sister as a lookout for our parents. She was happy to do it at first just because we wanted her to. After awhile she caught on a bit, and we had to bribe her with chocolate chips (another thing we weren’t supposed to have). This kind of going along wherever and saying yes regardless of the consequences is where we and the world can go wrong. Instead, we should say yes when we can, doing whatever is in our power to be kind and generous with our time, words, and money, but we should do so with wise discernment. Our kindness and help should have the result of pointing everyone who sees it back to Christ. Paul probably had this idea in mind when he wrote Romans 15:14, which says, “I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness (agathosune), filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another.” People acting out of this goodness don’t just point people to Christ by their actions but by their words, being deliberate to pass on the truth they know to others. So to sum up, chrēstotēs can be summarized as useful goodness and agathosune as kindly wholesomeness. They are similar in that they are both often translated as “goodness” in the Bible but different in their specific meaning. How can we cultivate these two goodnesses in our lives? The biggest way is to pray that God would give us eyes to see people as valuable image-bearers of God at all times. The biggest unkindnesses happen because we think that we are of more value than those around us and are not conscious of the image of God in those around us. This is true of Hitler’s treatment of the Jews, our treatment of the Japanese, Africans, and Native Americans, general mistreatment of disabled and elderly people, abortion, and it’s true of when you and I don’t clean up after ourselves or say unkind words in anger. If we were to see every single person on the planet as intrinsically, equally, and incalculably valuable all the time, we would live out chrēstotēs and agathosune perfectly for the rest of our lives. Of course that’s not going to happen, because we are forgetful. So we must regularly pray for such an ability and correct our mistakes when we make them—apologize, make right where possible, and pray for the strength to do better next time. As always, after we pray for the eyes of God, we have to be ready to be the hands, feet, and lips of God. Look for opportunities to be usefully kind. Look for ways to say “yes” instead of “no.” And watch what happens to the people around you. God’s power at work always changes lives. It could just be yours, but I’m willing to bet the impact will be bigger than that. Thanks for joining me on the podcast today. Next time we’re going to talk about the facet of the Fruit of the Spirit called faithfulness. I hope you’ll join me then.

This is my Sunday message from this past weekend where I spoke at a ladies retreat about the Faithfulness of God! Show Notes: How many of you feel stressed at some point on most days? How many of you are afraid or worried at some point most days? I am the oldest, and like many oldests, I am not a risk taker. I am very risk averse. Is it going to be dangerous? Let’s avoid it at all costs. Is it going to give me an adrenaline rush? That sounds terrible; why would I want that? I used to be afraid of so many things. (list) I felt like my whole life was lived in fear. A few years ago, I learned some things that totally rocked my world. First of all, fear is wrong. It’s not just unhelpful or unhealthy. It’s morally wrong. It’s sin. Isaiah 41:10  Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 2 Timothy 1:7  For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 1 John 4:18  There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. Psalm 34:4  I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 23:1-6  A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. ... Proverbs 29:25  The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. Joshua 1:9  Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Psalm 56:3-4  When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me? Philippians 4:6  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. There are over a hundred direct commands against fear in the Bible. (And by the way, stress and worry are just other forms of fear.) That’s a lot of verses! And that’s not even close to all the verses about fear. That’s just the direct commands. God takes fear very seriously, way more seriously than we do in our first-world culture. I think fear and gluttony are the two sins that Bible-believing, born again believer—in this country especially—practice without even realizing that what they’re doing is wrong. And we not only do it, we endorse fear. We grow it in our kids as we bubble wrap them and hand them a cell phone so we can always know where they are. I think we dismiss fear as unimportant because we don’t understand how offensive it is to God. We think it’s just our problem, that it only affects us. But when we are afraid, we are saying to God, “I don’t trust You. You are not big enough to handle this.” And that’s offensive! Think about it like a child standing on the edge of a drop off. You’re standing there ready to catch them. You tell them to jump. But they shake their head ‘no.’ That hurts a little, right? Because you know that what they’re really saying is, “I don’t trust you. You might drop me.” When things get out of our control, we become afraid, because we don’t trust that God’s control is bigger than ours. Here’s how it works. Let’s say I’m walking through the woods at camp and there’s plenty of light outside. Even if I’m not trusting God, I’m not really afraid because I know these woods and because I can see anything that might be out there. If there’s a downed branch, I can go around it. If I see a skunk, I can avoid it. But what happens when the sun goes down? Suddenly I can’t see. Things are out of my control. Anything could happen. A tree could fall on me. A skunk could walk in front of me. I could get lost. A bear could eat me. Anything could happen! But even though my control is gone, God’s isn’t. He has a plan for my life, and if getting eaten by a bear isn’t part of it, then it’s not going to happen. And if it is, then I’m okay with that. It’s a little harder to say that when it’s not something that results in death. Let’s me honest, I’d rather be eaten by a bear than sprayed by a skunk. One ends in seeing Jesus, the other ends in something of a living hell for awhile. But let’s also be honest and ask, “When it was light out, did I really have that much control in the first place?” No, not really. But it was enough to keep me thinking that I could handle anything that came my way. It was enough to keep me trusting my own power and wisdom instead of God’s. So why am I talking about fear when the topic this weekend is the faithfulness of God? I’m so glad you asked. It’s because everything that we have been learning the last two days is the answer to our fears. God’s faithfulness is a beautiful truth, but if it doesn’t change us, it’s worthless to learn it—and honestly, we haven’t really learned it if it hasn’t changed us. I think the biggest application of the faithfulness of God is that we don’t have to be afraid. We don’t have to worry. We don’t have to be stressed out. Because how many people really enjoy being worried or stressed? Nobody, right? We get over it because we think it’s necessary. I hear parents all the time say things like, “I’m your mom; it’s my job to worry about you.” And that sounds cute at first, but it’s really not true. It’s a mom’s job to care for and love her children, but worrying doesn’t have to be a part of that. Can you imagine if God were to say the same thing? “I’m Your Heavenly Father; it’s my job to worry about you.” We would hate if He said that! Because it implies that He can’t handle anything that comes our way. Now, we can’t handle everything that comes our children’s way, which is why we worry, but we do know who can. And we can go to Him in faith and pray for our children. That is far more effective than any amount of worrying.  But it’s not always that simple, right? Fear is sneaky, and we are forgetful, like I talked about last night. It’s hard for us to connect the truths that we learn to our everyday life. It’s like there’s a disconnect a lot of the time that we have to be deliberate in breaching. So I’m going to give you some tools. First of all, we have to be on our guard against fear. If it’s wrong, we have to be willing to fight it, and we’re going to need God’s help, because this is not an easy battle. I believe fear is the number one weapon Satan uses against us. If he can keep us afraid, he can keep us quiet, unobtrusive. Those who are fearless are bold; they don’t care what may happen to their reputation, their bodies, their families—not because they don’t care about those things but because they see there is a God who is more important than those things. Jesus said in Luke 14:26-33, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. 27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. 28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ 31 Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32 And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. 33 So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.” He's not talking about actually hating, because in other places, the Bible says that if you say you love God and hate your brother, you’re a liar. Jesus is talking about priorities. If you can’t be willing to risk your family, your reputation, and your comfort for the sake of Him who called you out of darkness and into His glorious light, you can’t be His disciple. So step one is pray. Be on your guard. Be watching for the signs of fear. Are you worried? Stressed about something? Are you being overprotective of something or someone? If you find yourself acting out of fear, you need to figure out what it is you’re actually afraid of. Name it. This might be easy, or it might take a little work. In preparing for this weekend, I had to fight a little bit of stress about how long it was taking me to get my messages done. I was afraid that if I didn’t do well, I would never be asked to speak anywhere ever again. I was also afraid that if I asked for a little time off at work, my director would think I’m not really committed to this camp and make me feel bad about it. Once you identify the fear, you have to figure out the lie that fear is built on. There were a few in there for me. First of all, I constantly have to fight the lie that my worth is based on what people think of me—specifically, I want to be known as someone who is wise and has a lot of biblical knowledge. So if I wasn’t prepared enough and bombed this weekend, you all would think I didn’t know what I was doing, and that would plummet my self-worth. That’s lie number one. Another lie I was believing was that God can’t use things that go badly for good. If I put my best effort into preparing and it still went badly, there’s a reason for it (even if I didn’t put in my best effort, there’s still a reason, but the reason might be as simple as to teach me a lesson on working harder and starting earlier). If I fail, it doesn’t stop God’s plan from moving forward. And if He wants me to be a successful speaker and author, it’ll happen. Another lie I was believing was that what my director thinks of me determines my value. Should I work hard at work and not ask for unnecessary time off? Absolutely. But if God has called me to something and I could use a little help with that, I shouldn’t be afraid to ask. If he had said ‘no,’ God would have provided. Okay, so we identify the fear, then we figure out the lie(s). Next we figure out the truth. What are the truths that counter those lies I was believing? The truth for the first and third ones are that God determines my value and worth not you or my director or anyone else. I am not worth more when my podcast gets more downloads. I am not worth less when someone reprimands me, whether that reprimand is legitimate and deserved or not. God says that I am made in His image, and I have been bought by the blood of Jesus. I am righteous, priceless, worth it. The truth for the second lie, that my mistakes could somehow stop God’s plan, is that God is sovereign. He controls the past, present, and future. His will always comes about. I can’t mess it up. The final step is to preach these truths to myself over and over until they sink and in make a difference in my head and heart. I forget. I know these things are true, and the more I tell myself them, the more they sink in and the longer I go before I forget them again, but I still forget. I still need to be reminded. So do you. What are you afraid of? What are you telling God, “You’re not big enough to handle this,” about? He wants you to trust Him. He’s not mad at you for not trusting Him; He loves you and wants you to give Him your fears and anxieties. He is faithful. He will only ever do what is good for you. You can trust Him. I encourage you as you go from here to tell someone the biggest fear you’re dealing with right now. I’m confident everyone has at least one. Tell each other the truths that combat those fears and stand with each other to remember those truths when it’s the hardest. God… is all powerful knows all things is present everywhere is sovereign does not change is holy is just loves me God… Finishes what He starts Keeps His promises Does not waver in His love for us Can be trusted Is the standard for faithfulness Trust Him.

This is my Saturday message from this past weekend where I spoke at a ladies retreat about the Faithfulness of God! Show Notes: Story of ending up at Five Pines. I tell you this story because it’s a perfect example of God’s faithfulness to me. He promised to lead and guide me. He promised to give me work to do that would use my skills and abilities for His glory and the building of His Kingdom. And He kept that promise, even if it wasn’t quite in my timeframe or exactly how I expected. Yesterday we talked about the attributes of God that make it so that it’s possible for God to be faithful. Today we’re looking at the ways in which God is faithful. Last night I gave you a dictionary definition of what it means to be faithful. We’re going to look at how God fulfills every one of these points. God finishes what He starts. We can call think of times when God could have stopped halfway through something, moments when everything was on the line. Israelites about to cross the Red Sea, Egyptians behind them. Abraham about to sacrifice Isaac. Hananiah, Azariah, and Mishael in the fiery furnace. Can you imagine if God got distracted at those moments? If He had to take a call in the middle of one of those? The Egyptians destroy Israel, Isaac dies, Hananiah, Azariah, and Mishael burn. But that didn’t happen, because God is faithful. What He sets in motion, He finishes. Philippians 1:3-6 3 I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, 4 always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. 6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. God has started a good work in you. Though it may seem like it sometimes, He hasn’t gotten distracted. He didn’t have to take a call in the middle of your life. This is going somewhere. God keeps His promises God promised Abraham and Sarah a son and descendants as numerous as the sand and stars. God promised Rahab that she and her family would be saved when the Israelites invaded Jericho. God promised that Eve’s seed would crush the serpent. God promised the thief on the cross He would be with Him in paradise. God promised to work everything together for good for those who love Him. God keeps His promises. God does not waver in His love for us Adam and Eve brought sin into God’s perfect world. David had an affair, killed the man whose wife she was, and tried to hide the whole thing. Job complained. Gideon doubted. Elijah despaired. Paul battled sin. They all have at least two things in common: they all messed up and God continued to love and use them. To sin does not disqualify you from being loved and used by God; it qualifies you as human. That’s not to say that we should sin. That’s the argument Paul combats in Romans 6. “Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not!” But we have to understand both the weight of sin and the glory of grace. Before we understand the gravity of our sin, we might wonder why God cares so much. What’s the big deal? It’s only a little sin. Then when we get the gravity of our sin, we might fall into thinking that God could never handle it. “My sin is too big, too ugly for God.” That’s when we have to understand the greatness of God’s grace. It’s only when we understand both that we can recognize that dealing with our ongoing sin issues should be a priority in our lives, but it will never ever keep us from God or from His love for us. God can be trusted Because of everything else we’ve seen yesterday and today, we know God can be trusted. He’s got this. God is the standard for faithfulness God is not just a faithful copy of something. He is the original. He sets the standard. He cannot falter or be imperfect. What does this mean? Let’s sum up the ways God is faithful. The faithfulness of God means that God will always do for us what is for our good, regardless of our own successes or failures. But hang on! We can all think of times when things happen to believers that we wouldn’t define as “good.” So either God really isn’t faithful, or there’s something wrong with our definition of “good.” A lot of people will solve this by saying that God is faithful, but His power is limited. He wants what’s best for us, but He’s given us free will, so He’s walled Himself off from helping us when we make bad choices. There’s two problems with that: that would mean that those who follow God well only have good things happen to them (which we know isn’t true) and we saw yesterday that God is in control of even our thoughts and desires. There’s no way that giving us choices ties His hands. So what does it mean, then? How does God define “good”? There are two sides to each of us, the spiritual and the temporal. Both sides need things to be healthy. The temporal needs food, water, sleep, shelter, health, love, and purpose. The spiritual needs a right relationship with Christ. Which one do you think is more important? If we neglect our spiritual side but take care of our temporal side, is that better or worse than if we care for our spiritual side but neglect our temporal side? The spiritual side is more important, right? Obviously they’re both important, and God tells us to care for our bodies, but what happens when these two good things come into conflict? What happens when to give us “good” in the temporal is to cause harm to our spiritual health? I’m sure you can all think of someone who has everything they could ever want temporally and has no idea how dead and in trouble they are spiritually. I’m willing to bet you can also think of those who have had things we need to be temporally healthy taken away from them and are more spiritually healthy because of it. God knows what we need and how we need it. He knows that the highest good for our lives is to have a thriving personal relationship with Him that overflows into all our interactions with others. He also knows that comfort creates entitlement, pride, and ingratitude, which are poison to our relationship with God. When God promises to work all things together for the good of those who love Him, He’s promising to give you just enough of the things you need to physically survive and not so many that you forget that you need Him. As I was going through this process of figuring out what I was supposed to do with my life and then trying to find a place to do it, I learned something about the way God directs us. How many of you use Google Maps? I think there are two kinds of people when it comes to using Google Maps. There are those who look up their destination, punch go, and just do what it tells them to. And then there are those who need to know the route, need to see each upcoming turn. That’s me. I don’t just want you to tell me to turn right, I need to know what the name of the road is that I’m turning onto, how long I’ll be on it, and what the name of the next road is. And then there are those of you that don’t fit into either of those categories. You get in the car and head in the general direction of your destination and hope you find it. You people scare me. God gives us directions in small steps. He usually doesn’t tell us exactly where we’re going or how long we’ll be where we are. Sometimes He’ll say “head east,” and we can guess where we might be going, but more often than not, He says “turn right” before we get there, and we end up heading in another direction. He does it this way to keep us humble. If we knew where we were going every step of the way, we could easily say, “Thanks God, I’ve got it from here.” The same is true for all the other ways that God takes care of us. We tend to think that in order for God to be faithful, He has to keep us healthy, make us rich, give us a great husband, obedient kids, and wonderful friends. But when we think that, we’re only thinking about the temporal side of things, and we’re not really believing that the spiritual side is more important than the temporal side. If God really is all of these things that we talked about last night, if He really does know best and has promised to do what is the very best for us, then we have to trust Him. We have to believe Him when he says, “I’ve got this. Even if you can’t see the end. Even if you can’t see where this is going or how all the threads are possibly going to tie together. I’ve got this. Trust me. Follow me.” In 1990, Robertson McQuilken resigned his position as the president of Columbia Bible College. Since he had taken the position, enrollment had doubled and two radio stations had been founded. So why did he resign? His wife, Muriel, had contracted early onset Alzheimer’s and had progressed in the disease to the point where she was terrified if he wasn’t with her. So he left his job at the peak of his career to care for her. He said, “When the time came, the decision was firm. It took no great calculation. It was a matter of integrity. Had I not promised, 42 years before, ‘in sickness and in health . . . till death do us part’? “This was no grim duty to which I stoically resigned, however. It was only fair. She had, after all, cared for me for almost four decades with marvelous devotion; now it was my turn. And such a partner she was! If I took care of her for 40 years, I would never be out of her debt.” Though some of his friends and colleagues urged him to put her into a home, he cared for her until the very end, cleaning up after her, cutting up her food, taking her out into the sun. There was nothing that she could then do for him. There was no way she could keep her marriage vows to him in her condition. When I heard that story, I couldn’t help but think that it was a glimpse of God’s faithfulness to us. Only God’s faithfulness goes much farther. He didn’t fall in love with us because we were beautiful and then stick with us when things got hard. He chose us when we were still sinners. He saw us mired in the muck of our own mess and said, “She’s mine.” He cleaned us up and brought us to the table of His Father, gave us a place at His right hand. Calls us His bride, coheirs with Christ. He gave us His righteousness and His Holy Spirit and a purpose for our lives. But we’re still helpless without Him. We still forget over and over, like an Alzheimer’s patient, how amazing and beautiful He is. We forget that to walk with Him is the most fulfilling adventure the world will ever know, and we try to go back and play in the mud He found us in. But that doesn’t change His love for us. He said, “She’s mine,” and He meant it. He didn’t shed His blood and call us to Himself and fill us with the Holy Spirit to change His mind. He doesn’t change His mind; we learned that yesterday. So what can we do to help ourselves remember? We can stack stones. Joshua 6:1-9 When all the nation had finished passing over the Jordan, the Lord said to Joshua, 2 “Take twelve men from the people, from each tribe a man, 3 and command them, saying, ‘Take twelve stones from here out of the midst of the Jordan, from the very place where the priests' feet stood firmly, and bring them over with you and lay them down in the place where you lodge tonight.’” 4 Then Joshua called the twelve men from the people of Israel, whom he had appointed, a man from each tribe. 5 And Joshua said to them, “Pass on before the ark of the Lord your God into the midst of the Jordan, and take up each of you a stone upon his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the people of Israel, 6 that this may be a sign among you. When your children ask in time to come, ‘What do those stones mean to you?’ 7 then you shall tell them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it passed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. So these stones shall be to the people of Israel a memorial forever.” 8 And the people of Israel did just as Joshua commanded and took up twelve stones out of the midst of the Jordan, according to the number of the tribes of the people of Israel, just as the Lord told Joshua. And they carried them over with them to the place where they lodged and laid them down there. 9 And Joshua set up twelve stones in the midst of the Jordan, in the place where the feet of the priests bearing the ark of the covenant had stood; and they are there to this day. God had the Israelites do a lot of things that were strictly to help them remember Him and His promises, and building this structure of 12 stones was one of them. What are your stones? What’s helping you remember the promises God has kept and His blessings to you? I keep a small journal every day, and one of the things I write every day is three things I’m thankful for. There’s a few other things on the page, but at the bottom, I sign my name “Your beloved, Hannah.” These words keep at the front of my mind who God says that I am and remind me of blessings that He’s given me in the last 24 hours. It’s a stack of stones. I hope one day, if God blesses me with children and grandchildren, that I can open up those little journals and show them all the things God has done for me, big and small. Today I encourage you to figure out something you can add to your life that will be a reminder. Maybe you need to buy a painting or print that reminds you of a way that God is faithful that you struggle to remember. At every season of my life, I have drawn on construction paper some words and pictures to remind me of a truth that I needed in that season. Maybe you need to keep a daily journal of thankfulness. Pray about it. Come out with a practical option. The other thing I want to encourage you to do is to tell stories to each other. As you go through this weekend, talk to one another about the things you’re struggling with and how you are seeing God’s faithfulness through it. If you can’t see God’s faithfulness in your situation, listen to others. Beg them for stories of them own to help you. Share this truth with one another. God is faithful.

This is my Friday message from this past weekend where I spoke at a ladies retreat about the Faithfulness of God! Show Notes: Define faithful strict or thorough in the performance of duty: a faithful worker. true to one's word, promises, vows, etc. steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant: faithful friends. reliable, trusted, or believed. adhering or true to fact, a standard, or an original; accurate: a faithful account; a faithful copy. Schedule of topics Tomorrow we’re going to look at the ways in which God is faithful, and Sunday we’re going to dive into what that means for us, but tonight I want to examine what it is about God that enables Him to be so perfectly faithful. We’re going to fill in the blank for this statement: Because God is ________, He can be faithful. What is it that makes UNfaithfulness possible? With the best of intentions: Forgetfulness Not enough strength Things come up/lack of control over schedule or time Being finite Not being able to see the future Without the best of intentions No plan to follow through in the first place Fickle emotions/lack of commitment Selfishness Omnipotent: there is nothing God cannot or does not do for lack of strength Omniscient: God knows everything there is to know Brief background of Job. Job 38:1-42:6 1 Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said: 2 “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? 3 Dress for action like a man;     I will question you, and you make it known to me. 4 “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?     Tell me, if you have understanding. 5 Who determined its measurements—surely you know!     Or who stretched the line upon it? 6 On what were its bases sunk,     or who laid its cornerstone, 7 when the morning stars sang together     and all the sons of God shouted for joy? 8 “Or who shut in the sea with doors     when it burst out from the womb, 9 when I made clouds its garment     and thick darkness its swaddling band, 10 and prescribed limits for it     and set bars and doors, 11 and said, ‘Thus far shall you come, and no farther,     and here shall your proud waves be stayed’? 12 “Have you commanded the morning since your days began,     and caused the dawn to know its place, 13 that it might take hold of the skirts of the earth,     and the wicked be shaken out of it? 14 It is changed like clay under the seal,     and its features stand out like a garment. 15 From the wicked their light is withheld,     and their uplifted arm is broken. 16 “Have you entered into the springs of the sea,     or walked in the recesses of the deep? 17 Have the gates of death been revealed to you,     or have you seen the gates of deep darkness? 18 Have you comprehended the expanse of the earth?     Declare, if you know all this. 19 “Where is the way to the dwelling of light,     and where is the place of darkness, 20 that you may take it to its territory     and that you may discern the paths to its home? 21 You know, for you were born then,     and the number of your days is great! 22 “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow,     or have you seen the storehouses of the hail, 23 which I have reserved for the time of trouble,     for the day of battle and war? 24 What is the way to the place where the light is distributed,     or where the east wind is scattered upon the earth? 25 “Who has cleft a channel for the torrents of rain     and a way for the thunderbolt, 26 to bring rain on a land where no man is,     on the desert in which there is no man, 27 to satisfy the waste and desolate land,     and to make the ground sprout with grass? 28 “Has the rain a father,     or who has begotten the drops of dew? 29 From whose womb did the ice come forth,     and who has given birth to the frost of heaven? 30 The waters become hard like stone,     and the face of the deep is frozen. 31 “Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades     or loose the cords of Orion? 32 Can you lead forth the Mazzaroth in their season,     or can you guide the Bear with its children? 33 Do you know the ordinances of the heavens?     Can you establish their rule on the earth? 34 “Can you lift up your voice to the clouds,     that a flood of waters may cover you? 35 Can you send forth lightnings, that they may go     and say to you, ‘Here we are’? 36 Who has put wisdom in the inward parts     or given understanding to the mind? 37 Who can number the clouds by wisdom?     Or who can tilt the waterskins of the heavens, 38 when the dust runs into a mass     and the clods stick fast together? 39 “Can you hunt the prey for the lion,     or satisfy the appetite of the young lions, 40 when they crouch in their dens     or lie in wait in their thicket? 41 Who provides for the raven its prey,     when its young ones cry to God for help,     and wander about for lack of food? “Do you know when the mountain goats give birth?     Do you observe the calving of the does? 2 Can you number the months that they fulfill,     and do you know the time when they give birth, 3 when they crouch, bring forth their offspring,     and are delivered of their young? 4 Their young ones become strong; they grow up in the open;     they go out and do not return to them. 5 “Who has let the wild donkey go free?     Who has loosed the bonds of the swift donkey, 6 to whom I have given the arid plain for his home     and the salt land for his dwelling place? 7 He scorns the tumult of the city;     he hears not the shouts of the driver. 8 He ranges the mountains as his pasture,     and he searches after every green thing. 9 “Is the wild ox willing to serve you?     Will he spend the night at your manger? 10 Can you bind him in the furrow with ropes,     or will he harrow the valleys after you? 11 Will you depend on him because his strength is great,     and will you leave to him your labor? 12 Do you have faith in him that he will return your grain     and gather it to your threshing floor? 13 “The wings of the ostrich wave proudly,     but are they the pinions and plumage of love? 14 For she leaves her eggs to the earth     and lets them be warmed on the ground, 15 forgetting that a foot may crush them     and that the wild beast may trample them. 16 She deals cruelly with her young, as if they were not hers;     though her labor be in vain, yet she has no fear, 17 because God has made her forget wisdom     and given her no share in understanding. 18 When she rouses herself to flee,     she laughs at the horse and his rider. 19 “Do you give the horse his might?     Do you clothe his neck with a mane? 20 Do you make him leap like the locust?     His majestic snorting is terrifying. 21 He paws in the valley and exults in his strength;     he goes out to meet the weapons. 22 He laughs at fear and is not dismayed;     he does not turn back from the sword. 23 Upon him rattle the quiver,     the flashing spear, and the javelin. 24 With fierceness and rage he swallows the ground;     he cannot stand still at the sound of the trumpet. 25 When the trumpet sounds, he says ‘Aha!’     He smells the battle from afar,     the thunder of the captains, and the shouting. 26 “Is it by your understanding that the hawk soars     and spreads his wings toward the south? 27 Is it at your command that the eagle mounts up     and makes his nest on high? 28 On the rock he dwells and makes his home,     on the rocky crag and stronghold. 29 From there he spies out the prey;     his eyes behold it from far away. 30 His young ones suck up blood,     and where the slain are, there is he.” 1 And the Lord said to Job: 2 “Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty?     He who argues with God, let him answer it.” Job Promises Silence 3 Then Job answered the Lord and said: 4 “Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you?     I lay my hand on my mouth. 5 I have spoken once, and I will not answer;     twice, but I will proceed no further.” The Lord Challenges Job 6 Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said: 7 “Dress for action like a man;     I will question you, and you make it known to me. 8 Will you even put me in the wrong?     Will you condemn me that you may be in the right? 9 Have you an arm like God,     and can you thunder with a voice like his? 10 “Adorn yourself with majesty and dignity;     clothe yourself with glory and splendor. 11 Pour out the overflowings of your anger,     and look on everyone who is proud and abase him. 12 Look on everyone who is proud and bring him low     and tread down the wicked where they stand. 13 Hide them all in the dust together;     bind their faces in the world below. 14 Then will I also acknowledge to you     that your own right hand can save you. 15-24 Behemoth (10 verses) 1-34 Leviathan (34 verses) 1 Then Job answered the Lord and said: 2 “I know that you can do all things,     and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. 3 ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,     things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. 4 ‘Hear, and I will speak;     I will question you, and you make it known to me.’ 5 I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,     but now my eye sees you; 6 therefore I despise myself,     and repent in dust and ashes.” I don’t know about you, but I am forgetful. Anybody? I have to attach my keys to my wallet and put my wallet in the same place every day when I come home from work, or I will be in trouble. Same thing with my glasses. I take them off when I come home and try not to need them so that they never have to move from their place, because if they do, there is no telling where they might end up, and then I’m stranded because I am blind and can’t drive without them. I forget that God is as big as He is. I know in my head that He made the universe, but I lose it. That fact gets tucked away somewhere and becomes irrelevant. Pretty soon I’m worried about this or that because I don’t remember how big my God is. But He is so big. Because God is omnipotent, He can be faithful. Because God is omniscient, He can be faithful.   Sovereign: God has total control over what happens and when Isaiah 46:8-11 8 “Remember this and stand firm,     recall it to mind, you transgressors, 9     remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other;     I am God, and there is none like me, 10 declaring the end from the beginning     and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand,     and I will accomplish all my purpose,’ 11 calling a bird of prey from the east,     the man of my counsel from a far country. I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass;     I have purposed, and I will do it. Proverbs 21:1 The king's heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will. Psalm 135:5-14 5 For I know that the Lord is great,     and that our Lord is above all gods. 6 Whatever the Lord pleases, he does,     in heaven and on earth,     in the seas and all deeps. Ephesians 1:11-12 11 In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, 12 so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. Romans 8:28-30 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. I used to try to reconcile the sovereignty of God in my mind as God knows all things and because He knows all things, He can manipulate people and their actions and responses, but He doesn’t actually cause everything to happen. But that’s just not true. The sovereignty of God means that God causes all things. Everything that has ever happened to you has been in His plan. Nothing He plans to do goes undone. Nothing that happens catches Him by surprise or ruins His plans. We may never fully understand why, but Adam and Eve’s sin and the Cross was not a “Plan B.” God intended it from the beginning. He has total control. When you first realize this, it makes you really grapple with the question of “why.” Why would God put me through my parents’ divorce? Why would God take my friend in a car crash? Why would God allow all sin and pain in the world? Those who don’t believe in the total sovereignty of God solve this problem by basically saying that God is too weak. He loves us and wants what’s best for us, but we’ve screwed things up so badly that He just can’t fix it in this world. We’ve gotta hang tight and wait for Heaven, where He stared over, and fixed all the bugs in the first version. Does the God from Job sound like there’s anything we could do that would mess this world up badly enough that He couldn’t fix it? Do you think He didn’t see all this coming? It was intentional. Somehow, it’s for His glory and our good. We know that because the bible promises it. He will work ALL things for good. All of them. I love this truth. It’s probably my all time favorite aspect of God’s character. If you want to learn more or have questions about it, I’d love to talk with you. Right now, I have to move on, or I’m going to have you hear all night. Because God is sovereign, He can be faithful.   Omnipresent: God is fully present in all places in the same capacity Jeremiah 23:23-24 23 “Am I a God at hand, declares the Lord, and not a God far away? 24 Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? declares the Lord. Do I not fill heaven and earth? declares the Lord. Psalm 139: 1-12 O Lord, you have searched me and known me! 2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;     you discern my thoughts from afar. 3 You search out my path and my lying down     and are acquainted with all my ways. 4 Even before a word is on my tongue,     behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. 5 You hem me in, behind and before,     and lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;     it is high; I cannot attain it. 7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?     Or where shall I flee from your presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!     If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! 9 If I take the wings of the morning     and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 10 even there your hand shall lead me,     and your right hand shall hold me. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,     and the light about me be night,” 12 even the darkness is not dark to you;     the night is bright as the day,     for darkness is as light with you. What is this number? (read off) That’s big, right? What’s half of this number? If you continued to halve that number, you would eventually come down to one or less than one. What’s half of this number? You can’t halve that, can you? Half of infinity would still be infinity. How many of you have ever tried to split your attention between two or more things? Are you ever as effective at the things you’re trying to do as if you were doing just one thing? We tend to think everyone is like us. We anthropomorphize animals and give them emotions and thoughts like we have; we assume other people think and feel like we do until proven otherwise. And we tend to think God is like us, too. We know He has more capacity for attention than we do. Like if our capacity is represented by the number 5, then His is that 10 billion some. But God has a lot of things on His plate, right? How many people are there on the planet? How many animals? How many other things to think about? Even at 10 billion some capacity for attention, He still must be pretty busy. But that’s all wrong. God is infinite. He can’t be busy. He can’t be stressed or pressed for time. He can’t be rushed. He can take however much time you want to spend with Him on an intimate level…and do the same thing with 2 million other people at the same time. How cool is that? Because God is omnipresent, He can be faithful.   Immutable: God is steady, not subject to changes of mood or mind Malachi 3:6 For I the LORD do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed. Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Numbers 23:19 God is not man, that he should lie,     or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it?     Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it? Philippians 1:6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. God isn’t fickle. He doesn’t love you more one day and less the next. He doesn’t have a plan for your life that is fulfilling and designed to make you more like Him and then the next day decide you’re not worth it. What he has started, He’ll finish. Because God is immutable, He can be faithful.   Holy: God is “other”—perfect, pure, greater, not like us 1 Samuel 2:2 There is none holy like the Lord:     for there is none besides you;     there is no rock like our God. Isaiah 57:15 For thus says the One who is high and lifted up,     who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: “I dwell in the high and holy place,     and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly,     and to revive the heart of the contrite. Isaiah 6:1-7 In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. 2 Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. 3 And one called to another and said: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!” 4 And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. 5 And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!” 6 Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 And he touched my mouth and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.” Right now, the full glory of God is veiled. We can’t see Him as He is. If we did, we’d die. One day, though, we’ll be able to see that and worship God while beholding all of His majesty. Because God is holy, He can be faithful.   Just: God follows and upholds a perfect standard of right and wrong in all His actions and judgements Psalm 89:14 Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne;     steadfast love and faithfulness go before you. God’s justice means He can’t fail us. He can never promise something and not follow through, because that would be unjust. And He cares when things that are unjust happen to us. Because God is just, He can be faithful.   Loving: God desires our best in all things and has an emotional connection with us John 3:16 16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 1 John 3:1 See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Zephaniah 3:17 17 The Lord your God is in your midst,     a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness;     he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Romans 8:37-39  37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. I am a thinker Because God is loving, He can be faithful. I know that was a lot. I just threw so much scripture at you; there’s no way you can possibly process all of that. That’s okay. I want you to zero in on one characteristic to think about tonight. Everyone has one or two of these that they have a hard time believing. I want you to pick one of these and spend a few minutes tonight asking God to help you believe it. God… is all powerful knows all things is present everywhere is sovereign does not change is holy is just loves me

Facets of Fruit: Patience What does it mean to be patient? We'll look at the three types of patience and their opposites to gather a better understanding of what it means to grow in patience, as well as how to do that practically. Show Notes: Welcome back to More than Milk. I’m Hannah Rebekah. We are in the middle of a series on the Fruit of the Spirit, and today we’re thinking through the facet of fruit known as patience. When I start working on a podcast, one of the first things I do is go to website I love—openbible.info/topics—and search things related to the topic I’m going to be speaking on. This brings up bible verses related either directly or indirectly to the words I search. When I looked up “patience,” something became evident quickly: there are three main types of patience. The first is the opposite of anger. I’m not sure why, but I’ve never thought of patience as being the opposite of anger. Now that I do think about it, though, it makes perfect sense. “Impatience,” the classic opposite of patience, has major connotations of frustration and anger. The Bible has a lot to say about this form of patience, in fact I would say it has the most to say about this form of patience. Ecclesiastes 7:8-9 says, “Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.” The culture that surrounded the Hebrew language during the Old Testament was one of repetition. If you wanted to say something was big, you’d say that word twice. For instance, you wouldn’t say “deep hole,” you’d say “hole hole.” The same is true of longer statements. If you want to really get your point across, you say the same thing from as many different angles as possible. This is a very common poetical device, and you can see it prominently in Psalms, Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes. When Solomon says, “the patient spirit is better than the proud spirit. Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools,” he’s saying the same thing from opposite perspectives. You should be patient and also not angry—the same thing. James 1:19-20 says, “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” This is a general command against anger as a response to other people. I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about it, but the reason we get angry most of the time is because a) someone is doing something that irritates us, or b) someone has gotten in the way of our doing or achieving something we had planned or hoped was going to happen. Being patient instead of being angry requires a) seeing the other person the way God sees them—as either sinners in need of saving or saints saved by grace—and b) viewing ourselves and our agenda as not more important than anyone else’s. Proverbs 15:18 says, “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.” When we are viewing ourselves and our own plans, hopes, and dreams as the most important, which is a symptom of pride, we are easily angered by those who get in the way of that. This could be children who aren’t behaving, colleagues who get the promotion we wanted, spouses who turn out not to be everything we were dreaming they’d be, other drivers who cut us off or make us late by driving slowly. When we get angry over these things, we’re demonstrating a belief that our personal goals are more important than anyone else’s—and more important than God’s. We have no idea how His agenda might be played out because we’re late to work or can’t have children of our own, or anything else that happens that frustrates our ideals of life. Seeing other people as just as valuable as ourselves and God’s plan as perfect frees us from anger and cooperates with the Spirit to create patience in our hearts. And that patience is a signal fire to others that something is different about us. It creates unity in the Body of Christ and intrigue in unbelievers. 1 Thessalonians 5:12-15, “We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.” Colossians 3:12-13, “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Being patient allows us to be able to forgive one another. 1 Corinthians 13:4-6, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.” The second type of patience is that of waiting. “Don’t be hasty,” as Treebeard would say. Hastiness has some connotations of frustration and anger, but it’s not quite the same as what we’ve already discussed. Isaiah 40:27-31 says, “Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, ‘My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God’? Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” God does not work in our timing. We don’t know what He’s up to. It may seem at times as though God is not listening, not working, not caring for you, but He promises that those who are patient and trust Him will receive strength and power in due time. Psalm 37:1-13, “Fret not yourself because of evildoers; be not envious of wrongdoers! For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb. Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land. In just a little while, the wicked will be no more; though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there. But the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace. The wicked plots against the righteous and gnashes his teeth at him, but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he sees that his day is coming. The wicked draw the sword and bend their bows to bring down the poor and needy, to slay those whose way is upright; their sword shall enter their own heart, and their bows shall be broken.” This type of waiting patience takes the long view. Right now, it appears that evil triumphs. But we know that in the end, that is not the case. God wins. Evil is punished. Good is rewarded. Those who trust in the Lord and forsake worry and anger will inherit the earth. Galatians 6:7-10, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” In the meantime, while we wait for what we know is to come, we should continue to do good, do what we know God has called us to, believing that He will use it for our good and His glory. The third type of patience is endurance. When things are hard, this type of patience does not give up. You can see elements of the previous two forms of patience here as well, and there’s definitely some overlap in categories. When we encounter trials, we can be angry, impulsive, and worry. This type of patience connotes more acute suffering. Romans 12:12 says, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Romans 8:18-25, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” Here we can see the overlap of waiting and endurance. There are things we are waiting for and current sufferings we are enduring, all while trusting God’s promises. Romans 5:3-5, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Not only are we to be patient through suffering, but suffering produces patience. So to sum up, there are three forms of patience: being emotionally controlled instead of angry, waiting for things to come, and enduring hardships. We can cultivate patience by remembering that we are no more important than anyone else, God is Sovereign, God has promised that evil will eventually be punished and good will have its reward, and God does and will continue to use all things we go through for our good and His glory. Thank you for joining me on the podcast today. I hope you have a better understanding of what patience is and how you can cooperate with the Holy Spirit in cultivating it in your own life. I leave you with the words of Paul from Ephesians 4:1-3, “I therefore… urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” I hope to see you next week when we will be talking about kindness.

Facets of Fruit: Peace What does it mean to have the peace of the Holy Spirit? Is it primarily internal or external? With others or just ourselves? Show Notes: This week we are talking about the facet of the fruit of the Spirit known as peace. On a basic level, peace is the opposite of war, fighting, or aggression. There are three facets of peace that we experience and can work out in our lives as believers. The first is peace with God. Romans 8:5-8 says, “Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.” There we see those opposites played out. Prior to being saved and having the Spirit in us, we were enemies of God. After we are saved, the hostilities cease, and we have peace with God. Romans 5:1 says, “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” We are no longer aggressors; we have peace. The second facet of peace that we have is peace within ourselves. Not only have we made peace with God, we are called heirs and sons of God. He gives us a seat at His table, prepares a place in Heaven for us, sends His Spirit to dwell within us, and works out His grand plan for history through us. When we are aware of these things and remember who God is—that He’s sovereign, powerful, knows everything, and more—we can have peace within our own hearts and minds. Fear and worry are like enemies in the battle plain of our minds. Before we are saved and before we have a strong grasp of who we are in Christ, we are unable to vanquish those enemies. But now, with our new selves and our minds being renewed in the knowledge of God, we have the power to smash those enemies into the dust a little more permanently. This peace is a work of partnership with the Holy Spirit. It is both a gift from God, as Paul prays for the Thessalonians in 2 Thessalonians 3:16, “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way.” And it’s something that we must work for. Philippians 4:6-7 tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It is our job, by the power of the Spirit, to pray through our concerns with thanksgiving, and then God will give us His peace. Isaiah 26:3 says, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” By the power of the Holy Spirit, we trust, cast our anxieties, tell God everything, and then God brings His peace over us. Colossians 3:12-17 says, “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” This brings us to the final type of peace that we can experience in this life: peace with other people, especially other believers. In this passage, we see that peace in our own hearts is tied with peace with other people. When we are forgiving and loving—two ingredients for peace with others—the next thing to do is let the peace of God rule in our hearts, to which we are called in one body. The two are integrally related. If we are at war within ourselves, not living according to what God says is true of us, we will be more likely to cause strife and trouble around us. When we are living out the truths of who God says we are, we are able to focus less on ourselves and see other people more through the lens God sees them through, which will cause compassion and love toward them. But it’s not just other believers with whom we can have some measure of peace. Romans 12:14-21 says, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ To the contrary, ‘if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” This gives passage gives us plenty of things to do, whether we’re being directly persecuted or not. If we aren’t, which is probably true of everyone listening, we can rejoice and weep with our neighbors (which requires knowing them well enough to know when they’re rejoicing or weeping, by the way). We can be humble, always kind no matter what, and never trying to get back at someone for something they did, whether intentionally or unintentionally. So let’s put all this together and come out with some pointers. There are three facets of peace that we can experience on earth by God’s grace and power. God’s peace with us is a complete reality that happens at the moment of salvation, and it is from this reality that the other two facets of peace are possible. The more we know and understand this reality of, first of all, how lost and opposed to God we were, and second, just how much it means for God to call us His friends, sons, and heirs, the more power we will have to forge lasting peace inside ourselves and in our relationships with others. So practical application step one is never stop learning and thinking about and reminding ourselves of how holy God is, how lost we were, and how far He came to rescue us. The second thing we should be doing regularly is evaluating state of our own hearts. Is there peace there? We have to be able to distinguish the type of peace, too. In regards to war, you can have “peace,” a cessation of active hostilities, for two different reasons. First is victory. If we are living out our identity in Christ well, there will be more moments of victory than active battle in our minds and hearts. The second reason is that we’ve stopped fighting. This could also be for two reasons: either we feel we can’t win and have stopped trying, or we have been winning and then became apathetic or careless or lazy. The enemy is perfectly happy to wait for us to forget how important it is to keep our eyes on Christ at all times because we had been doing it well for so long. That’s why it’s important to know the state of our own hearts and minds. Are we still doing battle? Are we striving for a conquering peace within ourselves? Or have we become apathetic or given up hope? I attended a conference this past Spring where Jeff Manion was speaking. He gave us a four-part journal exercise to do every day. Step one was gratitude, step two was checking in with your heart to see how your doing, step three was asking the Holy Spirit for help in whatever the day held and whatever was in your heart that day, and step four was to declare God’s identity for you over yourself. All of those steps have been very helpful in the last six months, but I especially want to highlight the heart-check idea. Having this journaling time where I have to ask myself how my own heart is has been very helpful in nipping negative thought patterns in the bud, before they can flower into downward spirals and turn into negative behaviors. Action step three from today is to check your relationships. Are you making peace or war? Is your tone and word choice meant to spark anger and frustration or convey love and hope? Do you seek to get back at people for things they’ve done or said, or do you try to see everyone the way God sees them and treat them with kindness and serve their needs? Remember that these things can’t come from our own brute force of will. We have to know who God is, who He says we are, and then see others the way He sees them. If you jump steps, you’ll only find yourself frustrated. Thanks for joining me on the podcast today. I hope you are encouraged to cultivate the facet of the fruit of the Spirit called peace in your life and relationships, and I hope you’ll join me next week when we will talk about patience.

Facets of Fruits: Joy Ever wondered what the difference between happiness and joy is? Turns out there isn't one. Learn where biblical joy comes from and how to water this facet of the Fruit of the Spirit.   Show Notes: I was taught growing up and have also heard multiple times as an adult that there is a difference between joy and happiness. Usually people say that happiness is a light, more earthly thing, and joy is a deep, abiding, biblical thing. In fact, there is no biblical evidence for this, and this teaching has only been around since the mid 1900s, starting with Oswald Chambers. Both the bible and church fathers before Chambers used joy and happiness interchangeably, as synonyms. If you study the Hebrew and Greek words translated as joy and happiness, there are variations in meaning from word to word, but every one of them has an indication of an outward expression of the emotion felt. Somehow along the way we’ve lost the fact that to rejoice in the Lord, as Paul commands on four occasions in Philippians, means to be happy and glad and smile and shout and dance around! And we’ve made an excuse for this by saying that we have the joy of the Lord, it’s just way down in our hearts. Well let me tell you what: it wasn’t designed to just be way down it your heart; it was designed to be on your face. Now there are a few objections to this, so I’ll take a minute to address those. If you’ve been paying attention to this podcast, you’ve heard me say a couple of times that non-believers can’t produce the Fruit of the Spirit. But we’ve certainly all been around non-Christians who were displaying joy of some kind. There isn’t a magic moment when people get saved and can suddenly smile and laugh. But wouldn’t that be interesting. Maybe I’ll write a novel with that premise… Anyway, so how can non-believers experience joy if joy is a facet of the Fruit of the Spirit? There are a couple answers to this. First of all, the joy that comes from the Spirit is not situationally dependent. It can be there in tough times and easy. It doesn’t matter what’s going on in our lives, we can experience this happiness of the Spirit. Obviously this is not true of unbelievers, and it is a massive witness to them when we can smile and laugh despite our circumstances. Their circumstance-driven joy comes as a part of common grace, which is the idea that God shows some kindness to everyone, regardless of whether they believe in Him or not. Psalm 145:9 says, “The Lord is good to everyone; His compassion rests on all He has made.” Matthew 5:45, “For [God] causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” Acts 14:17, “[God] did not leave Himself without a witness, since He did what is good by giving you rain from heaven and fruitful seasons and satisfying your hearts with food and happiness.” Now that we know that joy is not distinct from happiness, let’s look a little more at where it comes from. Each facet of the fruit of the Spirit certainly comes from the Spirit, but there are things we can point to that God uses to bring about growth in each area. The facet of love comes from knowing how greatly God loves us and how greatly He loves others. Dwelling on those truths waters the fruit. I’m going to read a few passages and explain how they water the facet of joy. John 16:16-24, “‘A little while, and you will see me no longer; and again a little while, and you will see me.’ So some of his disciples said to one another, ‘What is this that he says to us, “A little while, and you will not see me, and again a little while, and you will see me”; and, “because I am going to the Father”?’ So they were saying, ‘What does he mean by “a little while”? We do not know what he is talking about.’ Jesus knew that they wanted to ask him, so he said to them, ‘Is this what you are asking yourselves, what I meant by saying, “A little while and you will not see me, and again a little while and you will see me”? Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy. When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you. In that day you will ask nothing of me. Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you. Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.’” This in between of after Jesus has gone but before He’s come again is sorrowful. We are expecting something great and fulfilling, but it’s not here yet, and we sense that tension. In this time, though, we see and taste the future joy by asking things of the Father in Jesus name and being given them. So joy comes from both the anticipation of the coming fulfillment of everything God has promised us and from seeing God work in our lives in the midst of the time of sorrow. 1 Peter 1:3-9, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” Joy comes from the knowledge of our great salvation and the coming fulfillment of it, and though it is coupled with grief to test our faith, it is not overcome by it. The more we dwell on the beauty of our imperishable, undefiled, unfading inheritance and how amazing and wonderful it is that Christ would save us and cause us to be born again, the more joy we have. Romans 14:17, “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” Joy in the Holy Spirit, along with righteousness and peace, sum up the kingdom of God. Psalm 16:11, “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Joy comes from spending time in God’s presence and receiving His gifts to us. Romans 15:8-13, “For I tell you that Christ became a servant to the circumcised to show God's truthfulness, in order to confirm the promises given to the patriarchs, and in order that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy. As it is written, ‘Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles, and sing to your name.’ And again it is said, ‘Rejoice, O Gentiles, with his people.’ And again, ‘Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles, and let all the peoples extol him.’ And again Isaiah says, ‘The root of Jesse will come, even he who arises to rule the Gentiles; in him will the Gentiles hope.’ May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Joy comes from God through the experience and knowledge of salvation. James 1:2-3, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” Joy is not exclusive from trials and hardships but should be deliberately pursued through them. It’s not a matter of trying to find joy despite the things you think are bad and wish weren’t happening. Those things in and of themselves are to be counted as joys. Philippians 4:4, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” To rejoice in the Lord is a command, and it’s repeated twice in this one verse, four times in the book, probably because he knew we wouldn’t be good at it. You’ve probably noticed some patterns. First of all, the number one thing that causes joy is understanding and dwelling on the salvation of our souls that has come from God the Father through the sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ. This is what enables us to rejoice in the sorrow of a lost loved one. If they are a believer, we rejoice that we will see them again. If they are not, we rejoice that God in His sovereignty and love chose us to be His child, despite ourselves. If you are ever having a rough day and finding it hard to be cheerful, spend some time reading about and thinking on the fact that our omnipotent Creator God made Himself like us and died in the most humiliating way so that you could be called His child again and be used for His amazing plan for history and humanity. If that doesn’t spark joy, I dare say the Spirit is not in you. Now really, we shouldn’t wait until we’re feeling particularly depressed to start thinking about how great God is and how wonderful what He’s done for us is. This should be a daily exercise that reorients our minds and hearts toward Him and gives us the Spirit-enabled joy to make it through the day, whatever it may bring. Maybe you start journaling about how you feel about your salvation. Maybe you spend five or ten minutes every morning just going over it in your mind and thanking God for it. Whatever that may look like for you, I hope you set aside some time to water the facet of the fruit of the Spirit called joy. Thanks for listening to More than Milk. I’m still trying to get the hang of this new rhythm of life with throwing podcasting into the mix, so I hope you’ll bear with me and put up with my off-kilter schedule. Next week we are going to talk about the facet of fruit called peace. I hope you’ll join me then.

Facets of Fruit: Love How does the bible talk about what love really looks like, and why is it important to cultivate this facet of the fruit of the Spirit? How do we practically do that? Show Notes: I don’t usually talk about my personal life on this show, but I feel like some explanation of why I’ve been off air for two months is needed, especially for those of you who don’t know me personally. The short of it is I got a new job! After two years of searching, I finally landed a full-time job at a Christian camp. I’m program manager, which is a fancy way of saying I plan and make happen most of the things that come to mind when you say “camp.” I’m loving it, but starting at the beginning of the busiest season was not conducive to making a weekly podcast. But now summer is over, and I look forward to getting back in the habit of writing regularly and podcasting for you all. At the beginning of the summer, we started a series on the fruit of the Spirit. Right after that first episode, someone contacted me to say that I had said “fruits of the Spirit” when it really should be “fruit of the Spirit.” After some research, I have to agree and correct my mistake. Though different facets of this fruit might grow more at varying points in our lives, it’s all one fruit from one Spirit. The whole set is a package deal, and you can’t pick and choose what you want. That said, we’re going to dive into looking at the first facet of fruit mentioned in Galatians 5: love. From reading his letters and gospel, one can easily see that the apostle John was a very tenderhearted, easy-going soul. And he was passionate about love, both from God to us, from us to God, and from us to each other. All of these are a part of producing the love of the Spirit. Let’s read a chunk from 1 John to see how he explains what love is: 1 John 4:7-5:5, “Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love. God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent His One and Only Son into the world so that we might live through Him. Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Dear friends, if God loved us in this way, we also must love one another. No one has ever seen God. If we love one another, God remains in us and His love is perfected in us. “This is how we know that we remain in Him and He in us: He has given assurance to us from His Spirit. And we have seen and we testify that the Father has sent His Son as the world’s Savior. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God—God remains in him and he in God. And we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and the one who remains in love remains in God, and God remains in him. “In this, love is perfected with us so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment, for we are as He is in this world. There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love. We love because He first loved us. “If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For the person who does not love his brother he has seen cannot love the God he has not seen. And we have this command from Him: The one who loves God must also love his brother. “Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Messiah has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father also loves the one born of Him. This is how we know that we love God’s children when we love God and obey His commands. For this is what love for God is: to keep His commands. Now His commands are not a burden, because whatever has been born of God conquers the world. This is the victory that has conquered the world: our faith. And who is the one who conquers the world but the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?” Alright, that was a lot, so let’s break it down a bit. Love is from God, and only those who have been born again are capable of love. That reiterates what I said back in the first episode of this series about non-believers not exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit. Love consists of sacrificing for the good of others. God showed his love for us that way on the cross, and we ought to show love to others that way. When we do this, we are making God visible. Though God is spirit and can’t be seen, when we act like He does, we make the invisible visible. The next two paragraphs I talked about back in episode 17, and the short summary is that when we show the love of God to other people, it is evidence to ourselves that we are believers, which drives out fear in our lives. This is because, as the next bit says, those who love God will inevitably love their brother, which is not just a reference to biological family but also other believers. In the final section, from the beginning of chapter five, John ties all the loves together. Those who love the Father love Jesus. We love those around us by loving God and obeying Him, which are one in the same. When we obey God, we are loving Him. Lest we think that’s just legalism and can’t work, John says that the commands are for our good; by obeying, following, and believing Jesus, we conquer the world, that is sin and death and it’s hold. Okay, so loving people is good. Loving other believers is even better because, as John says in John 13:35, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Our love for other people is testimony to the power of God, since no one can love the way we do without the presence of the Spirit of God. But how does obeying God equal loving people? I used to think of showing love as this ambiguous, ethereal THING that just happens sometimes. It’s good, but it’s hard to predict and harder to make happen. When you try, people don’t always feel loved, so then it doesn’t work. Then I learned that love is meeting people’s needs, and that helped immensely. It gave me solid things to look for and do, and it explained why people can be loved but not necessarily feel it in the moment. Even still, there was still something a bit ambiguous about it. Maybe “ambiguous” is the wrong word. It didn’t feel neatly tied in a bow and fully interconnected with the rest of my theology. Something was missing. John fits in the final piece. Every single thing that we do in obedience to God is loving toward other people. When we spend time with Him, it makes us better people to be around. When we memorize scripture, it prepares us to speak truth into the lives of our brothers and sisters. When we use our money wisely, it allows us to give to those in need. When we forgive, it frees those who have grieved us, demonstrates to those around us what forgiveness looks like, and heals our own souls so that we can be better used by God in the lives of others going forward. Nothing you do is private. I know this is contrary to the Western way of thinking. We value individualism, independent achievement, and personal freedom so much. I think we’ve been taught a compromise. Your life isn’t private and your own because God sees everything, and everything matters to Him. While that’s true, it’s not the whole truth. Everything you do has ramifications outside yourself. Everything. How much time you spend in front of screens (and I’m preaching to myself here, too), what kinds of foods you eat, and whether or not you are in good physical shape has direct effects on those around you. Maybe you can’t see them because they’re effects that are missing. Maybe God is calling you to start going to a gym, and at that gym, He has someone for you to witness to or disciple. You don’t see any negative effects by ignoring His instructions, but that’s because you haven’t met that person yet. We can’t see all ends. That’s why we have the Holy Spirit and listen to what He says. He’s sovereign, not us. So what are some practical steps we can take to cooperate with God in growing the facet of fruit called “love?” Step one: pray. I don’t know if you’ve realized this yet, but step one is always pray. Pray that God would open your eyes to three things: if there is anyone who you are being particularly unloving toward and if so, that He would change your heart toward them and give you opportunities to show them God’s love; those around you who have needs that you can fill, whether that’s through a kind word, money, or some other form of support; areas you are disobeying Him that are affecting others in ways you may or may not realize. Step two: if God reveals something in your life that needs to change, tell someone else about it. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: it is always easier to defeat sin and follow God in community. Always. Step three: follow through. Do what God’s called you to do. Step four: keep a record. You may or may not be into journaling, but it is so cool to look back and see where God has worked and how it turned out. I always think I’m going to remember when God shows up and does something incredible, but I’m often wrong. I don’t want to forget, because when we remember what God has done, it has two affects. It helps us to trust Him more in the future, and it enables us to encourage others in their walk and trust in God because of our stories. Thanks for joining me today. I hope you had a fantastic summer. Thanks for being patient with me while I was away. Next week I’m going to tackle the facet of fruit called “joy.” I hope you’ll join me then.

Fruit of the Spirit Now that we have a better grasp of what it means to walk in the Spirit, we are able to take a look at what the fruits of the Spirit are and how we cultivate them in our lives. There are more of them than you may think. Show Notes: The last several weeks, we’ve been talking about what it means to walk in the Spirit and some tools to better hear and follow Him. Today we’re going to start a new series on the fruits of the Spirit. To start with, what are they fruits of the Spirit? Most of us probably think right away of Galatians 5, but it’s a little bigger than that. The fruits of the Spirit are the qualities that the Holy Spirit begins to call out and refine in us when we become believers. They are absent in those who are not believers. Now I can already hear an objection on some of your lips. How can we say that unbelievers don’t exhibit the fruits of the Spirit when we can all call up caring, philanthropic, people who are clearly secular and don’t have the Holy Spirit living in them? It’s all about motives. The most confusing fruit in this way is love. We think we see love between two people who aren’t believers, between parents and children who aren’t believers, etc. But what we’re really seeing is a selfish act. If you remember from a few episodes ago, the heart of the love that God calls us to show to others is self-forgetfulness. No unbeliever does anything loving for anyone else if they know for a fact that they are going to get nothing for it. Now what they get takes a lot of different forms. It could be kindness in return; it could be praise from onlookers; it could be personal fulfillment and alleviating guilt. The beauty of the love that comes from God and through us to others is that it’s not self-seeking. We may indeed receive something back. We may not. Either one isn’t the point. The point is to care for those around us as God has cared for us. So I said earlier that the fruits of the Spirit are bigger than Galatians 5. We’re going to read through some passages and see what I mean, starting in Galatians 5:19-24. “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Colossians 3:12-17, “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Ephesians 4:1-6, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call—one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” Ephesians 5:1-11, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.” From these passages, we can safely add a few more things to the list from Galatians 5: hope, thankfulness, unity, humility, and a spirit of forgiveness. I think it’s also important to note that it’s a fruit of the Spirit that we don’t do all the negative things mentioned in these passages. The Spirit changes our hearts so that we desire less and less to do the things of the flesh and more and more want to do the things of the Spirit. So how does this work? My theological/church background is Baptist and non-denominational, which means I grew up under the impression that all the commands in the bible were things I needed to muscle up and make happen in my life. There are also theological strains that say you don’t need to do anything; the Holy Spirit does it all. You just live your life, and God will make you more like Him as you go. The truth, as is often the case in theology, is a little more paradoxical and takes parts of both. Does the power to do anything good come from the Holy Spirit, from God Himself? YES. Absolutely. But He works through us and gives us that power. It is on us to walk in step with Him and do as He’s telling us. I heard this explanation a few years ago—I don’t remember from whom—that said you have to remember that the fruits of the Spirit are called fruits for a reason. If you go in an orchard, you won’t hear the trees groaning and straining to produce fruit. It happens that way because that’s what the tree is designed to do. Now I want to take the picture a little farther and say that doesn’t mean there was no effort that went into making sure that happened. Any fruit farmer will tell you differently. In order for the tree to produce fruit, it has to be mature enough, it has to have nutrients in the soil, it has to be pollinated, it has to have enough rain and sunlight at the right times, and it has to have the right temperatures. If any one of these factors is off, you’ll either end up with fruit you don’t want to sell or significantly less fruit. In addition, if nothing is done about the bugs and other pests, you’ll never get a marketable crop. Unlike a tree, we have a will and can make choices. God is the farmer, but we can either work with or against Him. What are the things we need to be doing if we are to produce fruit? We need to be in the Word, in prayer, in fellowship with other believers, and deliberately looking for ways we can practice these fruits and areas where we’re not. And in all of that, we have to remember that we’re not doing it on our own. We have to ask for help ALL THE TIME. Even the desire to read the Word and pray comes from God, and He wants us to ask Him for help. It shows our own humility and displays His power. So why do we want to have these fruits of the Spirit? What good does it do? Every fruit has implications and outcomes for both you and those around you. We’ll go through and look at each one individually in the coming weeks, but let’s look at some overall benefits. Matthew 5:14-16 says, “‘You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” The fruits of the Spirit in our lives shine like a light to those around us, in this case unbelievers, and help guide them to Christ and to give glory to God the Father. Matthew 7:15-20 says, “‘Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.” We are called to discern between those who come into our midst bearing the fruit of the Spirit and those who don’t, especially when it comes to those who would teach and disciple. We should be very cautious about who we allow to teach us and our children, and we should make the decision based on the fruit in their lives. Is it healthy or diseased? I look forward to studying and teaching on each fruit individually in future episodes, and as always, I hope this has helped you to understand better what things in the Bible mean how to live the Christian life the way God intends. Next week I’m going to take a week off. I’m moving downstate next Saturday, and Friday is packing day. I’ll hopefully be back June 14th, when we’ll discuss the fruit of love. I hope you’ll join me then.

Discerning Your Purpose Have you ever wondered why you're on this planet? To glorify God and build His Kingdom is the answer that's true for all of us, but what about you specifically? What are you made to do? Show Notes: Welcome back to More than Milk; I’m Hannah Rebekah. As we’ve been talking about walking in the Spirit and knowing what God’s will for your life is the last few weeks, I’ve emphasized that it’s really not about finding one big “will” of God and you can then spend the rest of your life doing but rather listening moment-by-moment to what God wants you to do now. This keeps us reliant upon God and humble as we wait on Him. But you might be thinking, ‘That’s all well and good for the daily things, but what about when I have a really big decision? How do I know what God wants from me then?’ I’m going to answer that in a few different ways. First of all, understanding what God wants in the big things is built on a foundation of listening to what God wants in the little things. If you’ve made a habit of not paying attention to the nudges from the Holy Spirit throughout your life and then one day realize you need God’s help to make a big decision, it’s going to be a lot harder to hear Him. Only asking God’s opinion when you recognize your wisdom has run out is turning what is supposed to be a relationship into an emergency service. That’s not the design, and it won’t work well. The second thing I would advise during bigger, more difficult decisions is to not discount the input from those around you. I have seen so many people regret their college or major choice and so many couples end up miserable or divorced because they refused to listen to the advise of people who loved God and loved them. When we’re in the middle of a big decision, our emotions get tangled in with the logic. Often we really can’t see straight. We need to be in the habit of asking for input from parents, friends, pastors, mentors, and anyone else who is invested in us and loves Jesus. This doesn’t mean abdicate the decision. You shouldn’t poll those around you and just decide based on the outcomes. Pray, fast, and think carefully through the implications of your decision, but don’t make it in a vacuum. The third thing I have found is helpful—or I guess sixth if we count praying, fasting, and thinking through implications—is understanding your purpose. This is where I want to spend most of today’s time. Purpose is a concept I was introduced to seven years ago when I first came to Grace Adventures. It took me awhile to really understand what it meant and even longer to know what mine was, but I hope I can at least give you a starting point to figure yours out today. The idea of purpose is all over the bible and is grounded in the truth of God’s sovereignty. Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the Lord’s decree will prevail.” Romans 8:28, “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.” So we know at least God has an over-arching purpose for everything. God speaking through Moses to Pharaoh in Exodus 9:16 says, “However, I have let you live for this purpose: to show you My power and to make My name known in all the earth.” Acts 13:36, “For David, after serving his own generation in God’s plan, fell asleep, was buried with his fathers, and decayed.” This tells us that clearly God has specific purposes in His grander plan for each person. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them.” God has planned out the good that we are to do for His Kingdom in our lifetimes. Now the idea of a life purpose is a little more intricate than that. It says that God has designed each person with an over-arching purpose for their lives and everything God has destined for them to do in this life more or less fits in that category. The verses above don’t get us quite this far. However, if we look at the way God has designed humans and human nature, we can observe a few things. God has made each of us with a unique appearance, set of skills, experiences, physical abilities, etc. While we can hone the skills we have and learn new ones to an extent, we can’t really change the way we were made. I will never be able to throw a football or ride a horse the way some of my more athletic friends can. I can get better than I am, but I just don’t have the body awareness they do. I can know how it’s done so well that I could teach someone else, but when it comes to actually getting my own muscles to do it, the finer points evade me. God could have made us way more adaptable than we are so that whatever He called us to on a particular day, we were able to do it. What an adventure that would be. Couldn’t ride a bicycle yesterday, but today you can. Couldn’t speak a language last week, but now no problem. God needs a Christian in the NBA, so now you can dunk. But that’s not the way in works. Instead, God deliberately designed each of us with built-in strengths and weaknesses. Why? First of all, I’m sure it’s to keep us humble. The fact that we can’t do everything reminds us that we’re human. Second, though, is because God has a specific purpose in mind for each of us, and He gave us the strengths and weaknesses we would need to fulfill that purpose. Whether you realize it or not, your weaknesses, though they may frustrate you at times, keep you on track. If you were good at everything, you would have a lot harder of a time figuring out where God wants you. You may have a lot of interests, hobbies, and skills, but if you can’t jump, at least you know you’re not supposed to play professional basketball. So if God has an over-arching purpose for my life, how do I find it? Great question. First, let’s define a little better what I mean by your purpose. It’s not where or how you do things, it’s what you do. Your purpose is not your job or career. People with very similar life purposes can be in vastly different fields. Let me give you a couple examples. My life purpose is to grow people spiritually. If I were to give it a little more detail and depth, I’d say my end goal is to help people progress in their spiritual walk to a point in which they can start developing those who are less spiritually mature around them. My core focus is identity formation, because I believe strongly that if you don’t have a grasp of what identity in Christ means and how to grow in it, you’re not going to move forward spiritually. Now that’s not necessarily a career. There are careers where that’s the main focus—youth pastor for one—but my job doesn’t have to be all about that for me to be able to fulfill my purpose. It does help me narrow down my career field. If I can’t live out my purpose at all in my work, like if I worked alone all day for example, that wouldn’t be good. I have a friend who’s worked his purpose down to a single word: disillusionment. He is quick to spot lies people are believing, call them out on them, and speak the truth. Our purposes are very similar, because if you remember, identity issues always come down to lies. However, the wording is important and shows how our approach is different. I like to cultivate truth and progress; he likes to spiritually attack lies. So now that we’ve defined purpose a little better, how do we figure it out? There are a couple of steps I’ve found helpful. The number one thing that helped me was realizing what made me spiritually excited. I don’t know if I can even fully explain what I mean by that. It’s when you have a moment of, “Oh my word, God, look what You just did through me!” For me, those moments are when I get to teach biblical truth and see fruit from it. That could be from teaching a Sunday school class, from someone seeking my advice, or just one of those life-on-life, spiritual/relational correction moments. My heart starts pounding excitedly, my mind is fully engaged, I get more expressive, and I can sense God working. If you can come up with a few of those moments and figure out what they have in common, you’re well on your way to knowing your purpose. If you’ve never had one of those moments, you should do a heart-check and figure out why. Are you refusing to do the things the Holy Spirit is telling you to? It could be that you’re living in fear because you don’t know your identity or believe that God always has your good planned in everything. Because of that, you’re missing out on the opportunities He wants to give you to see Him exemplify His power in your strengths and weaknesses. Non-spiritual things can also be indicators of where to look for your purpose. If you make a list of all the things you really love to do, I’m willing to bet there are patterns that will lead you in the right direction. I love to teach people things. I love to give advice. I love to come alongside and help. Those are all related to my purpose. I hope this gets you started thinking about and searching for your purpose if you don’t already know it. If you do, I hope you are energized to keep searching for opportunities to live it out! If you know what your purpose is, I’d love to hear about it. You can write me on facebook, Instagram, or send me an email. I’d love to hear from you! Next week we’re going to start a new series on the fruits of the Spirit. I hope you’ll join me then.

Flexible, Strong-willed, and Teachable In order to get better at walking in the Spirit, there are a few things we should work on being: flexible, strong-willed, and teachable. The more these things are true of us, the easier it will be for us to act when the Holy Spirit speaks. Show Notes: If we’re going to be the kind of people that God can use, we have to be willing to go outside our comfort zones and normal routines. We’ll have to be okay with being late for a good reason or not getting the house clean because God sent us on a Kingdom errand. I’ve learned that this is also why we ought to listen when the nudge from the Holy Spirit is “do your dishes now.” We may think we’re going to have time later, but God knows we actually have a friend who’s going to call in crisis later. For some of us, being flexible is easy. We like having possibilities, leaving options open, and always being ready for the next big adventure. For others of us, rigidity is a comfort and protection against the unknown. Opening up the option to do something outside the plan is synonymous with chaos and will lead to lots of anxiety. If that’s the case, step one for you might be dealing with that fear. It probably funnels down to loss of control and is countered by a trust in God’s love and sovereignty. Regardless of whether you are naturally flexible or not, we all have a bent toward being inflexible toward God. This is because our pride gets in the way of following God. We have plans, desires, and goals in life, and we think they are vitally important to our happiness. Surrendering control of our lives, moment-by-moment, to God means those plans may never come true, and our happiness may never reach the peak we think it will if we get our own way. Of course, all of this is steeped in lies. Proverbs 13:19 says, “Desire fulfilled is sweet to the taste, but to turn from evil is an abomination to fools.” This is a contrast of two types of people, which means we can draw conclusions about both groups based off what is said about one. Since it says the second group is populated by fools, we can assume the first group is populated by those who follow the way of wisdom. Since the first group gets their desires fulfilled, we can reason that the second group doesn’t. Using this logic, the first group of people are wise, righteous, and happy and have their desires fulfilled. The second group are fools, evil, and unhappy, and they don’t get what they desire. What is this verse trying to communicate? God has given each one of us deep desires that are incredibly sweet when fulfilled. They are intrinsically connected with acting righteously and wisely. Those who try to fulfill their desires with evil will never be satisfied, though they think their way is the only way to do it. They can’t even comprehend going about trying to be happy another way. What does this mean for us? Whatever the things we think will make us happy are, if they’re not what God is calling us to, we’re wrong. We have to remember that however wise or knowledgeable we think we are, we don’t know everything. We don’t know ourselves better than God. The only thing that satisfies us is living according to what God wants from us, every second of every day. That dream we think will make us happy may be the typical American dream—big house, nice lawn, well-behaved kids, a good job, etc. It might also be living in a foreign country doing mission work. In and of itself, even dreams that are God-given will not make us happy. We have a tendency to disconnect God from what He wants us to do. It’s like turning God into a GPS-enabled device that is giving us directions for life. When we don’t know where we are or where we’re going, we listen to Him, but as soon as we’re back in familiar territory, we turn Him off. Even when we are listening, we’re not really engaged. He’s there in the background, but it’s the driving that’s really important, not our relationship with Him. God asks us to do things out of a relationship with Him, not just because they are good things in and of themselves. It’s like Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, “If I speak human or angelic languages but do not have love, I am a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I donate all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body in order to boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.” That love starts with God. If we do all those things without a desire for and love for God, they’re pointless. Once we have that love for God, all those things will flow out of that in love for other people. So how can we make ourselves more flexible toward God? First off, we have to be willing. This means fighting back pride and fear with the truth of who God is and who we are. Then we have to start saying “yes,” not just to God but to people. God uses people for His purposes, so it is reasonable to think that one of the ways God directs us is through other people. When someone asks you to do something, instead of trying to invent a reason to say “no,” see if it’s possible for you to say “yes.” I’m not suggesting that we become overinvolved with other people’s needs and forget how to say “no.” God has made us with physical and emotional limits, and we can serve Him best when we are aware of those and don’t push passed them. On the other hand, when we operate via the power of the Holy Spirit, we are usually capable of far more than we think we are or we would be without His strength. Don’t break the limits but do test them. See how far God can take you. The second thing we should work toward being when we are learning to walk in the Spirit is strong-willed. It may seem at first that being flexible and being strong-willed are diametrically opposed ideas. They’re not. Think of it this way. Someone who is flexible but not strong-willed will flex in any direction for any reason. Someone who is strong-willed but not flexible will never flex for any reason. We want to be both. We want to flex when God wants us to and stay strong when He wants. When you’re doing homework, you want to be strong-willed enough not to take too many snack breaks or get lost on Youtube or Facebook. Let’s be honest, we’ve all been there, and it’s easy to do. Especially in our digital age, there are always things to distract us. We need to develop our will so that we can say “no” to the things of the flesh and be flexible enough to say “yes” to God. How do we increase the strength of our will? Start saying “no” to things you want. Do a fast. Delete your Snapchat or Instagram for a predetermined period of time. When you sit down to work on a project, commit to not doing unnecessary things on the internet. If you have a weak will, these things will be very difficult. Find someone to support you who can check up on you. I have a writing buddy. I tell her how much I want to get written each week, and she checks up on me every Monday to make sure I got it done. I had to put that in place because my will was too weak. I need the help to stay on track and remember what’s important. You probably do, too, and that’s okay! Don’t be ashamed or scared to ask for help. If you need more ideas for how to increase your will, sit down and think about your biggest time and money wasters. Do you go through the drive-through every time you see your favorite fast-food restaurant? Do you need your morning coffee to be fancy? Do you play internet video games? Do you search for news on your favorite celebrities? Do you read romance novels? Identify your two or three biggest time and money wasters and try cutting them out one at a time for a week. This will have a two-fold benefit: you’ll be in a better financial/time management situation and you’ll be increasing your will at the same time. The third thing we should work on being is teachable. This includes both wanting to learn new things and being willing to hear critique and correction. Usually the second one is far harder to handle. The book of Proverbs speaks frequently to both issues. “He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing” (Prov. 29:1). “Cease to hear instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge” (Prov. 19:27). “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future” (Prov. 19:20). “A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke” (Prov. 13:1). Those who are willing to learn—and more importantly, those who are willing to admit when they are wrong and learn from it—are consistently categorized as wise. Over and over again in Proverbs, wisdom is equated with righteousness, and those who seek after both are promised blessings now and for eternity, the most important of which is to know God. Fortunately for us, if we are willing to admit that we have a wisdom deficiency, God is ready and willing to give it to us (James 1:5). This is because humility precedes asking for wisdom, and true wisdom builds more humility. When we receive the wisdom of God, we can readily recognize that it is not ours, so we don’t become prideful. On the other hand, human wisdom puffs up. If we’re going to effectively walk in the Spirit, we need to be willing to be corrected and receive the wisdom of God, both from God and from other people, even those we may not respect or like. When someone comes to us with a complaint, it’s easy to feel threatened and attacked. This is because we are finding our identity in something that is shifting, usually our performance. On the other hand, if we are finding our identity in Christ, we can listen when people try to correct us and make the necessary changes. Even when someone is being overly harsh and not approaching us peacefully, we can recognize our part in their pain and hear them out. Our desire to change comes from a God-given love for them and desire to see the relationship restored. The idea of walking in the Spirit is simple. On the other hand, you will spend the rest of your life trying to do it better. The Holy Spirit is God, which means He has an unfathomable mind and an infinite number of things to teach you. He longs for a relationship with you that will satisfy your deepest desires, use you in ways you can’t even imagine, and create in you a passionate love for God. Will you start listening and obeying? Trust, do, trust, repeat.

Trust, Do, Trust, Repeat What does it mean to follow God's will and walk in the Spirit? What does the voice of the Spirit sound or feel like in our lives? Let's walk through a process that helps me understand what this looks like practically. Show Notes: When I entered high school, I started hearing the phrase “God’s will for your life” far more often than I had before. Either that, or I started noticing it more because I was getting to the point where I would have to actually put some thought and effort into what God’s will for my life was, rather than just living with my parents and doing what they told me to do. At least in my life and the way I was taught, this idea of figuring out God’s will for your life was a vague, complicated, one-time deal. It involved deciding what you wanted to do for your entire career, getting a degree in that field, and living the rest of your life fulfilling that “will” of God. This was terrifying, because I recognized that I didn’t know myself well enough. I didn’t have enough experiences; I didn’t know enough about all the possible fields of work. What if I guessed wrong and ended up living the rest of my life outside of God’s will? This is not at all the way God designed following His will to be. First of all, it’s not a game of hide-and-seek, where God tries to hide His will, and we try to find it. Secondly, we are not called to figure out God’s whole will for our lives. We are only called to know what God wants from us in every “now.” This makes living God’s will a constant dependence and conversation, rather than a one-time deal. Right now, God wants me to be podcasting, but in an hour, that could change. This means I have to be constantly in tune with God, asking and making sure that I am where I ought to be. This step-by-step process of living every moment listening for what God wants has a name. The Bible calls it “walking in the Spirit.” Galatians gives us the most content about this, though it is also obvious throughout the New Testament. Here’s Galatians 5:16-26: “I say then, walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you don’t do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. “Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and anything similar. I tell you about these things in advance—as I told you before—that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, we must also follow the Spirit. We must not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.” When Paul talks about the “works of the flesh” and “the flesh” in this passage, he’s talking about our sinful nature that we were born with. The flesh is like a taskmaster that drives us to do evil, and we can see the fingerprints of this all around us in the world. That’s why Paul says “the works of the flesh are obvious”. When we became believers, the chain that tied us to the flesh was broken. We no longer have to follow that path, but we still have that nature inside us, encouraging us to do evil and creating in us the desire to do evil. We want it. That’s where the Holy Spirit comes in as helper. As soon as we become believers, the Holy Spirit starts to create in us the desire to do good and righteous things, things that are in direct opposition to the things of the flesh. We can’t do both at the same time. That’s why Paul says “walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desires of the flesh.” If you’re listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit and following the good desires He places in your heart, you won’t be able to follow the flesh. What does this look like when it’s being lived out? It’s that summer I talked about two weeks ago, praying every morning for the ears to hear God’s voice, the eyes to see what He wanted me to do, and the courage to step out in faith to do it. When I told God every morning “I’m Yours” and spent each day looking for opportunities to serve and love other people, that was the beginning of my understanding how to live walking in the Spirit. This is because loving people—doing what is best for them, whether that is easy or hard at the time—is the most important work that we can do in this life. It is not the only thing we do, of course. We make all kinds of decisions every day. We decide what to eat, what to wear, which way to drive to work, what to spend our money on, how much to save, whether to change jobs, and so many more things. Our entire life consists of decision after decision. When we are walking by the Spirit, we allow the Holy Spirit to have a say in each of these decisions, whether big or small. Sometimes His voice is obvious, and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it contradicts what we think is logical, and other times it makes perfect sense. The other morning, I drove to work. There are two ways I can go that are essentially the same distance and time. I prefer to go the way that goes through town most of the time, unless it’s the beginning or end of the school day. I was leaving a little later than normal, so school was already in session, but something said, “No, you still want to go the back way.” I didn’t really question it. I thought I just felt like a scenic drive. When I arrived at the place where my two ways to work converge, the way that goes through town was blocked off and under construction. If I’d gone that way, I would have had to drive way out of my way to get to work. “Thank you, God,” I said. I listened and obeyed, and things worked out better. This is just one small story of countless times this sort of thing has happened. Sometimes it only seems to benefit me, and I take that as proof that God loves me and is looking out for me. Other times I am in the right place just in time to help someone is crisis, all because I followed a nudge God gave me. I think “nudge” is the best way to describe how the Spirit communicates with us. You won’t hear an audible voice, but you just get this sense that you should do something you weren’t already planning on. The first objection to this on everyone’s lips is, “How do I know if these nudges are from the Spirit and not from my sinful flesh?” A lot of people use this question as an excuse to never step outside their routine and take chances. This logic doesn’t make any sense. Satan wants to keep us comfortable, under control, and not looking to do anything crazy. The Spirit wants to take us on a wild adventure of trusting and obeying God that lands us far from comfortable and “normal” and might just change the world. On the other hand, though, there is good reason to ask the question. Sometimes the nudges of the flesh and those of the Spirit do look similar. If you’re having trouble discerning, ask yourself a few questions. 1) Is this directly in violation of anything I know God has commanded? 2) Why do I feel I should do this? Will I be getting recognition or will God? 3) Why do I feel I should not do this? Am I afraid of something? It is a good rule of thumb that any time you are making a hard decision and there is good logic on both sides, you should examine your feelings. If you can sense pride or fear or other sinful desires on one side of the equation, pulling you that direction, chances are good that’s the wrong option. If you’ve determined the nudge is from God, follow through as fast as you can. Don’t miss the opportunity. Don’t wait until it makes sense. You are not all-knowing; God is. I have watched so many chances to step out and do what God wants me to slip by because I was scared of looking like a fool. You have to trust God to know what He’s doing in your life, the lives of those around you, and the world. Trust His sovereignty. I invented a little saying to help remind me how the process of walking in the Spirit works—trust, do, trust, repeat. First, we trust that God knows what He is doing and isn’t just asking us to do things on a whim. God is not like a young prince or cruel king who plays with his subjects for the fun of it. Everything has a purpose. We are also trusting that God will provide the strength to do what He is asking. Second, we do what it is God is telling us to do. Third, we trust that God will use our actions—which are now in the past—for our good and His glory, whatever they were and however well we did or didn’t follow through on what we felt we should have done. This keeps us from second-guessing the past or feeling guilty for what we did or didn’t do. If we’ve sinned against God, we should always confess it and aim not to do it again, but this second trust helps keep us from living in that place of guilt and shame after we’ve confessed. It allows us to move on. And finally, we repeat. We continue to listen for the next thing God is going to ask of us. This is what it means to walk in the Spirit and to do the will of God.

Surrendering our Dreams Just like we all have fears, we all have dreams. Just like God wants us to surrender our fears to Him, He also wants us to surrender our dreams. But surrendering doesn't always mean give up on. It can mean go hard after but be open to God changing the plan as you go. Show Notes: Surrender is one of those hot-button words in Christian circles. As a teenager, I heard it a lot, but I only knew what it meant in very vague terms. I think one of the big reasons for this was we lost our understanding of how the Holy Spirit is to be a constant companion and guide in the Christian life. But we’ll talk more about that in future episodes. Today I want to look at a specific facet of surrender. We’ve already been looking at it in part, though I didn’t really use that word. I said that it is right to conquer our fears with God’s help and power and to step out and do whatever He calls us to do, regardless of how frightening it is. But just like everyone has fears, we all have dreams, too. They range from a nice house, to a spouse, to mountains of chocolate, to leaving a legacy, to winning a million dollars, to adopting a hundred kids in Africa. We have crazy dreams and realistic dreams, selfish dreams and selfless dreams. Just like our fears, God wants our dreams. It’s all part of the process of our will aligning with God’s will, of surrender. Like I’m sure all of you do, I have my own ideas of how my life should go. I am twenty-seven years old and very single. If you had asked me ten or even five years ago if I would get this close to thirty and still have no romantic prospects, I’d have told you that I sure hope not. I want a husband and kids more than I can express. I watch my friends and younger siblings walk through these steps of life, and I keep wondering if I am destined to be single for the rest of my life. On the bad days, I’ve done nonsensical things like searched my married friends’ social media for proof of their happiness and joined an online dating site. It’s because I’m afraid of being alone, afraid that my dream will never come true. This is a different type of fear than we’ve talked about before. The fears we’ve discussed so far are those that keep you from doing something. On the other hand, these are fears that can cause you to do things you regret. A lot of the process for dealing with them is the same, though. There are still lies and truth you have to figure out. Along with those steps, you have to surrender the dream. That doesn’t mean trying to change what you want to the opposite thing, like if I can convince myself that being married and having kids is really a terrible existence, then I can be fine being single. That’s only a temporary fix. Those dreams and desires are ingrained and even God-given. They don’t go away so easily. But wait, if they’re God-given, why aren’t they coming true? Why do I have to surrender them, if they’re in line with what God wants? First of all, God-given doesn’t necessarily mean in line with what God wants. It just means he has a purpose for them. I really love kids. That’s integrally related to my desire to have some of my own. Because of that, I work well with them, I mentor them, I care for them. I serve my friends by babysitting. I work in camp ministry. It’s all related, and those parts are good, because they’re not fear-driven. It’s when I allow my fear of the dream never coming true to make me not trust God and do things I wouldn’t normally do that it’s a problem. We need to give our dreams to God because we are called to follow His will in all things. Just like we’re not allowed to have private sins He can’t say ‘no’ to, we’re not allowed to have private dreams he can’t deny. It might sound harsh, but remember, God knows what’s best for you. It’s like a parent telling their kid they can’t have chocolate before dinner or to not touch the hot stove. They’re protecting them from what they know to be bad, but the child doesn’t know better and can only see far enough to know that they want something that they’re not getting. I wonder if, when we get to Heaven, we’ll get to see all of the things we threw grownup tantrums about that would have ended so badly if God had allowed us to have them. There are two reasons that we should give over our dreams to God and be willing to go wherever He leads: the moral reason and the personal reason. The moral reason goes like this. God is Creator of everything. By that fact, He owns all. Everything and everyone owes Him their loyalty and is responsible to do as He asks. On top of that, God the Son gave His life on the cross for you as a ransom to sin and death, to which you had unwittingly pledged your life. Now He owns you doubly. It reminds me of a scene in The Fellowship of the Ring movie where Legolas stands in the Council of Elrond and corrects Boromir’s flippant treatment of Aragorn. “This is no mere ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance.” In that moment, Boromir has a choice. Legally speaking, this guy is his king. But Boromir is a proud man, son of the Steward of Gondor, a nation which has existed without a king for almost a thousand years. His response is very telling. “Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king.” We are also very proud people. We think that because our lives have run for so long without surrendering to the rightful king, we don’t need to. This is why many people don’t really start to follow hard after Christ until after something goes terribly wrong in their life. Suddenly the ruling steward isn’t doing such a great job. Maybe following the king would be better. Secondly, we have the personal reason. God doesn’t command us to obey Him and then remain distant, waiting to punish us when we don’t. He’s personable. As we saw earlier, He cares very deeply about our lives and seeks our ultimate good in everything He does. His idea of obedience is not just “do as I say,” it’s “do as I do.” When Jesus left the Earth, He promised His disciples that He would send the Helper, the Holy Spirit, third person of the Godhead, to be with them and help them. We don’t have to obey on our own. It’s not a taskmaster we follow but a Helper, Comforter, Counselor, and Guide. Like Aragorn, God builds the relationship, gives us reasons to trust Him, and is always on our side. At the end of his life, Boromir changes his tune. He says to Aragorn, “I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my king.” Who Aragorn was never changed. The honor and allegiance he was owed never wavered. But now Boromir gives it gladly, because he sees more clearly who Aragorn is and that he deserves loyalty. Who God is never changes. The honor and glory he’s due never lessens. We are called to a high standard, but we are indwelt with One who makes it possible and is always advocating for us. Still, there are days, weeks, months, and maybe years when we don’t feel like it. How do we take the knowledge that we should turn our dreams and desires over to God and live the way He has called us into a desire to want to do just that? We all know the tension between should and want. It’s the reason we know we should be on a diet, but we eat the chocolate cake anyway. We have goals, ideal places we’d like to be—slimmer, richer, healthier, more spiritually active, a better friend, etc. However, our day-to-day actions are sending us in the other direction. We prioritize and desire the now reward more than the then reward. The same is true in our spiritual lives. Our mind is a constant battleground, whether we realize it or not. The two sides are our flesh—or sinful nature—and the new ‘us’ that the Holy Spirit transformed when we were saved. I heard a sermon a few years ago by John Lynch that helped cement my understanding of the new me. He said we have a new name that reflects who we are: Christin________. For example, my name would be Christinhannahrebekah. I am different, fused with the Spirit of Christ. However, there is still a war going on, because until Heaven and the final transformation of my body, I still have the flesh nagging at my mind. It shoots thoughts and desires into my heart that, on a good day, I would never consider. Not every day is a good day, though. The thoughts of the flesh sound like this: “You can’t wait. Take it now.” “You can’t trust that God will provide. Cut the corner. Cheat the system. Take what’s yours. Look out for yourself.” “Telling that lie about them will make you feel better about yourself than speaking truth will.” “You can look at him/her and not sin. You’re not actually committing adultery. Don’t worry, I’ll never push you that far.” “They meant to do that. Get them back.” We can all think back to times in our lives when thoughts like this have come up and when we’ve listened to them. Why is that? If we were being logical, we would know that those are all lies sent to destroy us. We would agree that the long-term effects aren’t worth the short-term rewards. Then why do we do it? Why do we listen? Because we’re not primarily logical. We’re primarily emotional. Psychologist and professor of Leadership Ethics, Jonathan Haidt explains it like this. Your emotions are an elephant. The rider is your logic. The elephant is big and can go and do what it wants. However, with careful and deliberate effort, the rider can learn to direct the elephant (The Happiness Hypothesis, 2006). For us as Christians, the presence of the Holy Spirit makes the rider’s job a little less difficult. God wants us to be in control of our wild desires so that we can turn them toward Him and serve Him better. One way we can do this is by increasing our desire for God. When our desire for God is the strongest of the desires we have, we will head the right way every time. How do we increase our desire for God? First, we have to realize just how wonderful God wants us to feel. My tutor in this subject has been John Piper, and he has written far more on this subject than I ever will be able to. His motto is that “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. (Desiring God, 2011)” The summary is this: God is crazy about you. He designed you with emotions and emotional needs and desires. He created you for joy. He wants you to be happy. The problem is that when sin entered the world, we forgot what our affections were designed for. God made us to know Him and serve Him and be so happy in the process. But we got lost. Now we think that money, power, sex, the best food, and friends telling us we’re the greatest will bring us joy. All of those things turn sour and will ultimately destroy us. The one pleasure that can never run dry is that of knowing God. We can never have enough of Him. He will never turn sour. When we know this and still don’t desire to know and follow God, it’s probably because of one of two reasons—distrust or apathy. When I have a dream that I don’t get, I am hurt, or something else goes wrong, I might blame God and shove it in His face. “Why? I thought you said you loved me and wanted me to be happy! This isn’t making me happy!” In this case, we have to go back to the truth. God does not change. He is not fickle. God does want us to be happy, but He also sees the bigger picture. He doesn’t want us to find our happiness in our circumstances and earthly possessions. He wants us to find it in Him. C.S. Lewis used the analogy of standing in a toolshed and seeing the sunbeams coming through holes in the walls. When he stood to the side, the beams were beautiful, the brightest thing around. These represent God’s gifts to us, the good things in life. When he stood inside of the beam, however, he could behold the sun, the brightest thing of all—God (God in the Dock, 1970). I’m going to take the illustration one step further. When bad things happen in our lives, it’s like someone has covered up the holes in the wall. There is no more sunbeam, and it looks like the sun has altogether abandoned us. We’re wrong. All we need to do is step outside the toolshed. The sun has been there all along. It was only our perspective that was messing with our beliefs and emotions. The second reason we don’t desire God is apathy. Apathy is so deadly. By its definition, it couldn’t care less. When you’re apathetic, there is nothing that will motivate you. You have no desire to be anywhere but where you are. You’re content and complacent, slowly dying and not caring at all. Because of the monotone of our first-world life, we all fall prey to this at some point. We lose sight of the purpose of our lives. We think what we do doesn’t really make a difference, whether good or bad. We fall back into our pet sins and neglect our quiet time. We allow fears to creep back in and keep us from being useful. We use busyness as an excuse. Like moss growing on a slow-moving sloth, we start to look just like the environment around us, and we don’t care at all. If this is you, wake up! God wants more for you and your life! He wants to make you happy, not complacent. He desires you be filled with the Spirit, overflowing with joy and love for others, not mildly content but deep down wishing there was something more to life. There is! It’s Him! How do we get out of apathy? How do we create desire where there is none? Step One: Pray. Your life depends on it. Ask for help. You don’t need to manufacture a desire for God on your own. God is ready and willing to help you, to drag you out of the muck of apathy, clean you up, and put you back on the path of serving Him. Get down on your knees and ask Him to rescue you from yourself. Step Two: Make a long-term commitment. Your life is God’s. You owe Him your allegiance. So make it real. Write it down on a piece of paper. Surrender control. Whether you’re apathetic, untrusting, or in a good place, write it down. Scribe the dreams you’re afraid He’ll never fulfill. Write down the ones He’s giving you that you’re afraid to go after. Tell Him you’re His to do with as He wants. Step Three: Find accountability. When it comes to beating apathy, this is an absolutely vital step. Find someone you don’t want to disappoint and tell them you need help staying on track. Set goals with them for each week and what you’re going to accomplish toward where God is calling you. Without strong accountability, often the small flame of our desire to do something greater and get out of an apathetic pattern splutters out after a short while. I think a major contributor to the culture of apathy is that our dreams are too small. I had a conversation with a friend the other day about what her next steps would be. She didn’t know if, after summer, she wanted to go to school or do an internship or something else. I asked her what her end goal was, where she wanted to be in ten years. She gave me a response that I felt wasn’t really her. I helped her understand a little more of what she was looking at if she went that route and voiced my concerns about it not fitting with her personality and what I had previously understood she wanted out of life. I pressed her for her biggest dream, what she really wanted to do but felt would never happen. She told me. I helped her see it wasn’t so unattainable as she thought, and together we made steps to get there. I’m willing to bet you can relate. What dreams do you have that you think are too big? What excites you and gets you thinking about how awesome it would be to ___________? These dreams are God-given. They’re not too big. When we tell ourselves that, we are willing to settle for little dreams, ones we feel are more attainable. When we do that, we have less drive to achieve. We tell ourselves we won’t end up making a difference, even if those little dreams come true. We fall into apathy. To avoid this pattern, we need big dreams; we need God dreams. I believe every one of us has a crazy dream inside us that God has placed there for us to chase after. When we do, we will find ourselves on the wildest ride of our life. In the end, it may not work out exactly as we pictured it, but that’s okay. Like I said earlier, just because a dream is God-given doesn’t always mean it will happen the way you originally wanted or expected, but it does mean that God is going to use it. So long as you’re moving forward in what He wants, He will continue to clarify and give life to that dream until you find yourself living the version of it that He planned all along. That is the best place you could ever be. Don’t settle. Don’t tell yourself, “That could never happen.” Dream big. Trust God, go after it with all your heart, and wait with eager expectation for what He will do through you.

Free to Love God has freed us from sin, including fear, but what has He freed us to do? Our number one calling in this life is to love others. How do we go about doing that? Show Notes: What has God called us to do, and how do we do it? How do we discern that illusive will of God for our lives? How do we walk every day listening for His voice and obeying Him? We have been set free from sin, which includes fear, but to what end? We’re going to start this section by dissecting 1 John 4:13-21, and we’re going to take it in chunks, beginning with verses 17-18. It says, “In this, love is perfected with us so that we may have confidence in the day of judgement, for we are as He is in this world. There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love.” Now before you think I forgot that we concluded the fear section last week, I know. This sounds like it’s all about fear, and I am going to still be talking about fear in this new context the first couple weeks, but that’s because they’re tied together. Bear with me. The first two words of verse 17 are, “In this.” To figure out what John’s talking about, we need to back up and read verses 13-16. Here, John tells us how we can know that we “remain in Him (Christ) and He in us,” that is, how we know that we are saved. Here’s the passage: “This is how we know that we remain in Him and He in us: He has given assurance to us from His Spirit. And we have seen and we testify that the Father has sent His Son as the world’s Savior. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God—God remains in him and he in God. And we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and the one who remains in love remains in God, and God remains in him.” So how do we know that we’re saved? First, God gives us assurance by the presence of His Spirit. Second, we see, testify, and confess that Jesus is God’s Son and that God sent Him as Savior. Third, we come to know and believe the love that God has for us, and we remain in that love. Onto this stage step the words, “In this” from verse 17. In our remaining in Christ by these things, love is perfected in us. Time for another ancient language lesson. The word translated “perfect” is the Greek word “teleioō,” (tell-eye-ah-oh) which means to complete, accomplish, consummate, or fulfill. It does not carry with it the connotation of removing flaws. Now let’s read verses 19-21. “We love because He first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For the person who does not love his brother he has seen cannot love the God he has not seen. And we have this command from Him: The one who loves God must also love his brother.” So when we remain in Christ, the love of God is completed in us as we show it to others. We may not be showing it flawlessly, but the point of God’s love—that it transforms us and is then displayed by us—is fulfilled. Because we remain in Christ and show God’s love, we can have confidence in the day of judgment (v. 17). This is because when we are sure that we are God’s, we can look death and judgement straight on without fear, knowing that it is not our righteousness that will be on trial but Christ’s in our place. One day I was washing dishes in my kitchen. At the time, I was living with eight other girls, and most of the dishes in the sink were not mine. I was not happy about it, but I knew it needed to be done. I was hoping that someone else would notice and thank me or make some other comment about my selfless care for the rest of my housemates. But it wasn’t selfless; I wanted that praise. Then I realized that if I chose to do the dishes without any hope of reward, I was showing my housemates true love, and that was proof of the Holy Spirit indwelling me and my growth in the faith. I was ecstatic. All thought of earthly reward or praise flew from my mind, and I started giggling to myself over the soapy water. Christ in me, the hope of glory. That is what doing the dishes proved, and it brought me so much joy. “There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment (v. 18).” This is a basically a rephrase of the previous verse, but it’s talking about more than just not being afraid of judgement. When we are loved by God, we do not need to be afraid at all. This is because His love being shown by us to other people convinces us that we are His and that there is no punishment left for us; it was all paid for by Christ on the cross. So if we are still afraid, it is either because we have not comprehended God’s love for us (v. 16) or we have not shown it to others enough (v. 18b) to convince ourselves that we are God’s. There is another wonderful fear-killing side effect of showing God’s love to other people. It proves to us that we are not alone. When we go through life on our own and with only our strength, life is terrifying. Anything could happen. We have to look out for ourselves and have no capacity to put others before our own interests. However, when we become believers, we gain a life-long companion in the Holy Spirit. He works in our lives and enables us to care for others in ways we were never able to before. When we see God’s love perfected in us as we show it to others, it is a reminder that we are no longer working as an individual against the rest of the world. We are a child of God, indwelt with the Holy Spirit, and given divine purpose. There is nothing and no one in this life that can do us any ultimate harm (Luke 12:4) or can hinder our goals, so long as we are in line with God’s will (Luke 16:23-24). That is a mighty weapon in our fight against fear. A few summers ago is a perfect example of this. In camping, every year a new batch of summer staff comes to camp to serve for three months. This was my sixth summer on staff at a camp, and I have learned that it is a good gauge of how I am doing in conquering fear, because a lot of my biggest fears directly impact how I interact with people. Each year is a new slate with people who have never met me and have no preconceptions or ideas of who I am or should be. Their reactions to me help me know how I am doing. That summer was a summer of firsts. It was the first summer people sought me out to spend time with me. It’s the first summer people told me out of the blue that they enjoyed me and appreciated that I was there. The first time it happened, I thought it was just a fluke, a random comment made by an overly sentimental person. Then it happened again. And again. I didn’t know what was going on or how to handle it. I was forced to conclude that people liked me. The weirdest part about it was that I wasn’t trying to be likeable, as I had in the past. I wasn’t trying to manipulate people into saying and doing those things. When I sat down to figure out why people suddenly liked me, I realized that it was because I was effectively living out the truths that I have been preaching to myself for the past three and a half years. I was living like a child of God, loved and cherished, planned for and accepted. When I live that truth, I am free to see the needs of others and serve them. I am free to be joyful in my Father and what He has done for me. I am free to let go and be silly. I am free to have meaningful and vulnerable conversations because I know that God will protect me and use my story for good in other people’s lives. In short, I am free to love. When I do, other people appreciate me. After all, who doesn’t like being loved? As I look back at that summer, though, I can clearly see that I was only a vessel for God’s love. My part of the process was praying for humility and opportunities to show love, then listening and obeying when they were given. I didn’t conjure up the power to pour love from a tired, worn out body. I didn’t sit down and try to figure out how each person would like to be loved or who needed it the most. God already knew those things; I just listened and obeyed. If showing God’s love to others is a mighty tool against fear and one of the great purposes of God’s love to us, how do we do it? The first and most important step is understanding how much God loves you. Loving other people the way God does can only come from God and from knowing how great and immeasurable His love is for you. You have to get that first. If you don’t, you will be pouring from an empty vessel, and it will not work. Because it is only through God’s power that we can show His love, the second step is maintaining a posture of humility. Any time we tell God, “I got this,” and try to do something for Him without His grace, we are destined for failure. One of the things that God has gifted me with is the ability to understand people and circumstances. I see connections everywhere, and I recognize where behaviors are coming from and what the causes of certain problems are. Along with this, God has given me a passion for growth in other people. Any time I get to teach, coach, mentor, or counsel another child of God, I feel fulfilled and excited. Most of the time when people come to me asking for help, I pray and beg God for His wisdom, because I know that my ability to give any worthwhile advice comes from Him. Sometimes, however, I find myself becoming proud that someone would come to me and ask for help. I tell myself that it’s because I am so knowledgeable and wise. I reason that if I have been able to help so many people in the past, I should be fine on this one without God’s help. Then I crash and burn. The same is true for any way you set out to love people. We must adopt a mindset that remembers that we are capable of no good deed apart from the work of God in our lives. Every morning, I try to pray something like this, “God, please help me to see through Your eyes today. Let me recognize opportunities to show Your love to those around me and give me the courage to make the most of those occasions. Give me the grace to think less about myself and more about everyone else.” The days I forget to pray go noticeably worse than the days I do. I am prone to feeling depressed and purposeless when I forget, and I feel fulfilled and joyful when I remember, because I can see God using me and working through my life. After we pray this prayer, we need to be ready for action. When we come to God with a humble heart and a willingness to do what He says, He will give us things to do. He will put someone in your path who needs to be shown His love through a kind word, a helping hand, a listening ear, or a free night of babysitting. Once you start listening to God and doing what He says, the assignments will get bigger. He might tell you to go to a foreign mission field. He may command you to adopt from a local orphanage. You might be asking yourself, How can I do any of those things? The answer is, you can’t. That’s the point. Such things are only possible by the power of God’s love. When we are afraid, it is because we do not trust God, since we do not understand and trust His power and love. Once we do begin to comprehend His love, it is perfected in us and shown by us to those around us, and we are reminded that it is not we who work but Christ in us. Strengthened by His grace, we step into the world and work His will fearlessly and with great joy, knowing that we are reliant totally on Him and are being daily transformed more and more into His likeness. That is what it means to live a fearless life. Thanks for joining me on the podcast today. Next week we are going to talk about the dreams we have for our lives and how God uses these to guide us in the direction He wants us to go. I hope you’ll join me then.

Fear and Anxiety Wrap-Up This week we're tying everything we've talked about in this series together, including a personal story about a fear I had, how I dealt with it (or didn't at first!), and the impact that has had on my life. Show Notes: Welcome back to More than Milk. I’m Hannah Rebekah. Today we’re wrapping up our series on fear by doing a little bit of review and tying together everything we’ve talked about so far. Fear is made possible when we move from mentally trusting God with everything to trusting in ourselves, our school, our car, or anything else. This happens all the time because we are forgetful people who are more likely to trust what we can see and touch rather than what we know is there but don’t experience physically so much. Fear actually happens when our trust in whatever it is we were trusting that’s not God is shaken. This could be anything from our car not starting, to political upheaval, to someone we love ending up in the hospital. In the moments when we hear the news, we feel the fear of what could happen now. Though you may or may not be able to recognize it, the thought process goes like this: I didn’t think this was possible (or I knew it was POSSIBLE, but I never thought it would happen to ME); now that this has happened, there are so many other terrible possibilities that could happen, too! And then we spiral in fear and doubt and “what if” scenarios. Fear is wrong because God is all powerful, sovereign, and in control of all things. He has promised that He will work all things together for our good. To be afraid of what could happen is to say God is either incompetent to take care of us or ignorant of our real needs. In order to fight fear, we have to first realize that we’re afraid, agree with God that it’s wrong, and be willing to fight back against it. Next, we have to dig down to understand our fear, to know what it is we’re really afraid of and admit that to God, ourselves, and another person. Finally, we have to identify the truth about God and His care and promises toward us and then tell it to ourselves over and over again, every time that fear starts to creep back into our minds. The reason that we battle fear is three-fold. First, God commands it. Second, conquering fear allows us to do the work of God’s Kingdom with a lot more freedom. Third, when we are successful at ridding fear from our lives—even a little bit—we are happier and more content with our lives. These three reasons are all connected. God created us to be happy in Him, to do His work, and to obey Him. When we fight back against fear by trusting God and His promises, we make all three of these purposes happen. Back in the Fall of 2016, I started working as an apprentice in the Guest Services department at Grace Adventures. This meant that I was responsible for contacting groups that were planning to come and make sure we had what we needed from them and they had what they needed from us. My primary mode of doing this was email because I had a long-standing fear of talking on the phone, specifically of calling people I don’t know. This avoidance technique worked pretty well until late Winter, early Spring, when we had to make camper calls. This is where all of the staff get a list of former camper families who have not yet registered for the summer and we spend a night or two a week calling them to see if they are interested in registering. It was like a nightmare come true. Somehow I powered through and survived, in large part because the fear of disappointing those I’m responsible to was stronger than that of talking to strangers on the phone. It was at that point that I realized I had a problem, though. I didn’t want to admit it to anyone, but I also didn’t want to struggle with it the rest of my life. That Summer, my role expanded a bit, and I was responsible for a lot more groups, many of whom did not communicate well over email and needed to be called. I finally admitted my fear to someone I trusted, which broke its power a little bit and helped cement that it was wrong and needed to be dealt with. I had recently finished writing the section in my book on fear about how to combat it. I knew what steps to take. I figured out that I’m afraid of misspeaking, giving the wrong information, or making some similar mistake that makes me look incompetent and reflects poorly on the organization I’m working for. This stems from two facets of my biggest identity issue. I falsely believe that my worth is based on my personal competence, and those who’s opinions matter the most about whether or not I am competent are those in positions over me. So if I make a mistake on the phone that makes that person think I’m incompetent, I think that diminishes by value, but if word of that somehow got back to my supervisor or the president of the organization, that would be crushing. This was an identity lie that I had been actively fighting for years, but it still had little footholds in places like fear of talking on the phone. What’s the truth that combats this? My value is defined and fixed by Christ. I will make mistakes—everyone does. When I do, it is not a reflection of what I am worth but of my humanity, and it makes me more relatable and approachable. If I really fail, it gives me the opportunity to display the grace and power of God in handling that situation. Those in positions of authority over me are just human, too. I can’t live by their measurement because it is at once too high and also too low. In some areas they will never be really pleasable, and that’s okay. In other areas, their standards aren’t as high as God’s, and that’s who I should be aiming to please. The summer became much easier as I started fighting this fear. There were still times when I would have to lock myself in the bathroom and tell myself those truths over and over before I could go back to my desk and make a particular phone call. A year later, I was asked to be the Welcome Center Manager at the campground. One of my biggest hesitations at first was that would require me to make a heck of a lot of phone calls to people I didn’t know. If I hadn’t been dealing with it the summer before, I doubt I would have accepted. The first month there, I had to fight the urge to have my staff make most of the phone calls. By the end of my time there, I didn’t even hesitate picking up the phone. Here’s why I tell you that story. Making phone calls to strangers is not the biggest fear I’ve ever had. It seemed fairly unobtrusive at first, something I could get around for the most part and just suffer through when I absolutely had to make a call. In general, it wasn’t changing my life much—or so I thought. What I didn’t realize was that this fear was like a leaf off a big identity lie tree. I had worked hard to chop big branches of that tree down, but there was more left to it than I realized. By fighting this fear, I am more confident in my identity in general, and that has impacted how much of myself I am willing to “put out there” in all areas of my life. I can point to multiple different opportunities I never would have taken a couple years ago that I jumped into now—some of which would seem to have nothing to do with talking on the phone. It can be very easy to look at a fear and say something like, “It doesn’t matter that much.” “I can suffer through that one.” Why would you want to? I know the reason, of course. In order to fight back, you’re probably going to have to tell someone about it. You’ll have to confront head-on whatever lie you’re believing about yourself, some version of, “You’re not good enough.” It’s easier to just sweep that under the rug and pretend like it doesn’t exist, but it doesn’t disappear when you try not to think about it. It spits out more lies, fears, and causes underlying anxiety, doing its very best to make you miserable. To confront that lie is frightening because you believe it, and if you don’t have enough ammo, it will eat you alive. That’s why you need the truth of who you are in Christ and someone else who knows scripture who can help you. In and of yourself, no, you are not good enough. But you are not alone. You’ll never be alone. Jesus Christ gave up His eternal glory, became a human, and lived a sinless life so He could die in your place and break the chains of darkness that held you. You are worth more than you know. If you have accepted Jesus’ offer of forgiveness, He has given you everything you need for life and godliness. In Him, you are enough. You will always be enough because He will never leave you. Nothing you do can make Him love you less, abandon you, or punish you. He will put you through hard things to refine you and make you a better person, to bring you into closer relationship with Him, but He promises to be with you through it. I AM THAT I AM is the most powerful being in the universe, and He loves you more deeply and intimately than anyone else could, even more than you can imagine. In Him, you are enough, and because that is true, you don’t have to be afraid of anything. I hope you’re willing to fight until you really, wholly believe that truth. Thanks for joining me on the podcast today. This concludes our series on fear and anxiety. Next week we’re going to start a new series on listening to the Holy Spirit and knowing and following God’s will for your life. I hope you’ll join me then.

Increasing Knowledge of God’s Love Does God really love us? He showed His love on the cross, but does He still love us? If so, why do we still experience pain and suffering? How can that be good? Show Notes: If the only characteristics that were true about God were the elements of His power, as well as His justice and holiness, there would be no hope for humankind. In fact, we never would have lasted this long. Without God’s love for us, He would have wiped humanity from the face of the Earth, maybe to make room for a race less obstinate and fickle. Fortunately for us, though, God is not only the most powerful being in the world—star-breather, life-former, thought-knower—He also cares for us. While He seeks His own glory in all things, He equally seeks our good. These two goals are not at odds with each other. God receives glory from us when we enjoy Him, so when He seeks our ultimate good, He is also seeking His own glory. And when we seek God, which is our highest good, we are fulfilled and happy. If you are interested in learning more about this particular topic, I would highly recommend John Piper’s Desiring God. As he puts it, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” Each outcome leads to the other. I have found that many Christians either believe the things I said about God in the last episode but they do not really believe that God loves them, or they believe God is loving but forget how big and powerful He is. This is the cause of a lot of fear. If you know God is loving but don’t really believe He’s powerful enough to take care of you, anything could happen. If you believe God is powerful but don’t really believe He loves you enough to always make decisions based on your best interests, then He might take care of you when it’s convenient but choose to do something that puts you at risk when it suits Him. Today we’re going to look at the trait of God’s love and how it is manifested toward us. Before we go any further, we need to define love. The world would tell us that it is an unpredictable feeling, one that may or may not last very long. Once it's gone, it doesn’t often come back. Just about any popular romance movie will exemplify this definition. Even we in the church fall prey to this description, and I believe it has distorted our view of God and His love. In 1 John 3:16-18, the apostle John tells us what love looks like as believers. “This is how we have come to know love: He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brother. If anyone has this world's goods and sees his brother in need but closes his eyes to his need – how can God's love reside in him? Little children, we must not love in word or speech, but with truth and action.” Many people read just the first of these verses and conclude that love means being willing to die for another person, but there is so much more to it than that. John says that we know what love is because Jesus “laid down His life for us,” and we should “lay down our lives” for our fellow Christians. In the next verse, he gives us an example of what that looks like—giving away what you have for the sake of others. Jesus laying down His life didn't just include His death; it was a life-long process of taking care of those around Him and generally being about His Father's will. It is the same for us. The main component of love is sacrifice and self-forgetfulness. As C.S. Lewis says in Mere Christianity, “If we were to meet a truly humble person, we would never come away from meeting them thinking they were humble. They would not be always telling us they were a nobody (because a person who keeps saying they are a nobody is actually a self-obsessed person). The thing we would remember from meeting a truly gospel-humble person is how much they seemed to be totally interested in us. Because the essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less.” (Mere Christianity, 1952) And so, we aim to think of ourselves less. But to what end? John answers that question in the next verse. We are to fill the needs of our fellow believers. If we summarize, according to John, love is spending our lives sacrificially filling other people's needs. Though he goes about it differently, Paul says the same thing in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: “Love is patient, love is kind Love does not envy, Is not boastful, is not conceited, Does not act improperly, Is not selfish, is not provoked, Does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness But rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, Hopes all things, endures all things.” True love, according to the Bible, is not a feeling or in any way related to sexual desire or fulfillment. It is seeing other people’s needs and taking care of them, all while forgetting that you exist. That’s not to say that we don’t practice good self-care. But the point of healthy self-care is that we will make the most of ourselves and our time for the sake of others. It is not selfish. It’s like studying for a test and realizing that you are so tired that you’re not going to be productive any longer, so you set your alarm for a couple hours earlier than normal in the morning so you can finish studying then, and you get some sleep now. We should rest, eat well, exercise, and not over-work ourselves so that we can be more effective in serving and loving other people. Having defined love, we are now equipped to look at God's love. If love is sacrificially filling others' needs, what is it that we need? According to Ephesians 2:1-10, we are dead and in need of life. Through the sacrifice Jesus made by His life and death, God has given us that and more. He has seated us in Heaven with Jesus, given us good works to do for His glory, and promised to show us kindness for the rest of eternity. If you’ve grown up in the church, you probably don't have a problem believing that God loved you through the cross. You’ve heard it all your life. The issue is now. Does He love you today, yesterday, and tomorrow, or did He just show His love once through the cross so He could save you but then use and abuse you at His whim? In the book of Romans, Paul spends the first seven chapters explaining how no one measures up to God’s standard of righteousness but how God, in His love, provided a way for us to receive the righteousness of Christ through His death on the cross—in essence, the gospel. Now Paul has moved on to sanctification. He’s about to answer the question I just posed. Does God still love us? The whole of chapter eight is a glorious exposition of God’s continued love for the believer, but I’ll just hit the highlights: “Therefore, no condemnation now exists for those in Christ Jesus, because the Spirit’s law of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death…. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, since the Spirit of God lives in you…. All those led by God’s Spirit are God’s sons. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, ‘Abba, Father!’ The Spirit Himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God’s children, and if children, also heirs—heirs of God and coheirs with Christ—seeing that we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him…. “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. For those He foreknew He also predestined… and those He predestined, He also called; and those He called, He also justified; and those He justified, He also glorified. “What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He did not even spare His own Son but offered Him up for us all; how will He not also with Him grant us everything?... “…Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Can affliction or anguish or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: Because of You we are being put to death all day long; we are counted as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than victorious through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that not even death or life, angels or rulers, things present or things to come, hostile powers, height or depth, or any other created thing will have the power to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!” (Romans 8:1-2, 8-9a, 14-17, 28-29a, 30-32, 35-39, emphasis mine) What beautiful, live-giving truths. One of Paul’s greatest arguments here is in verse 32, which says, “He did not even spare His own Son but offered Him up for us all; how will He not also with Him grant us everything?” Paul must have known that there would be this temptation to slip away from believing that God loves us in the here and now. He argues that God did the big thing; He laid aside His glory and came as a human being, then He died in the place of sinners. This is incomprehensible. If God went to that extreme to save sinners out of love (John 3:16), how could he possibly stop loving us? Even still, we forget. When we don’t remember how great God’s love is for us, our trust in Him begins to slip. Without trust, fears creep into our lives. Why do we forget so easily? What can we do to remember? I have found that the fastest way to forget how much God loves me is to take my righteousness into my own hands. I have a tendency that I think many believers share, and that is to look at the cross and say, “Yes, I’m in! God has brought me into His family and secured my eternal destiny. Now I have to make sure I stay here.” Then I try to do well and keep God happy with me, all the while feeling both guilty about how I’m failing and superior to those who are messing up more visibly than I am. This is called self-righteousness, and it belittles the work of Christ. It says, “Yes, God, Your work was good, but it wasn’t good enough. Let me help.” But we are incapable of helping, and we have nothing good to offer God except what He’s already given us and enabled us to do. When Jesus died on the cross, two very important things happened. First, He took upon Himself all of the sin of every person who would ever be saved. All the ugly, stinky, abhorrent nastiness of my sin and yours was placed in the body of the Son of God (1 Peter 2:24). Second, God the Father exerted all the force of His wrath for all of that sin on Jesus. When we become believers, we receive the righteousness of Jesus in place of the sin He paid for (Phil. 3:9, 2 Cor. 5:21). This is called justification. What does this mean? It means that as believers, there is no wrath left for us (Rom. 5:9-10). There is nothing we can do to make God punish us or even be disappointed in us. He knows everything that we have done and will do, and He paid for it all. We have been brought near to God (Eph. 2:13) and are called children and heirs of God (Rom. 8:17-19). In John 15:9, Jesus tells His disciples that just as much as the Father loves Him (that would be infinite and incomprehensible love), so Jesus loved them, loves us. This is what justification means for us. There’s something some of you are probably thinking that flies in the face of this, right? To one degree or another, we have all experienced loss, pain, and disappointment. A lot of bible teachers dismiss this by saying, “Well, those are the result of sin in the world, and they’re not God’s fault. God wants good things for you.” But that doesn’t actually solve the problem, because it makes God out to be this kind person who wants good for you but doesn’t have the power to give it to you. He’s not really sovereign and in control of everything. If He’s not in control, then we still have reason to be afraid. And as we looked at last week, God really does have the power. So why does He allow us to hurt? In Genesis 50:20, Joseph is talking to his brothers in Egypt. He is the second most powerful man in the world, and his brothers sold him into slavery when he was younger. Now he has the power to get back at them if he wants, and they are terrified. Instead, Joseph takes the long view. He sees God’s hand in the situation and tell his brothers this, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” This word “good” means the same thing as it does coming from Joseph’s lips. Did Joseph suffer? Did he experience loss and pain? Of course. So how can he say it was good? How can Paul in Romans say that everything works together for good when he experienced terrible things over the course of his ministry? The reason we have a hard time reconciling this is because we have a skewed perspective of good. God created us to know Him and to be fulfilled in our relationship with Him. When sin entered the world, that relationship was lost, and all of human history pointed to and waited expectantly for the time when it would be possible to restore that relationship. When Christ died on the cross, it became possible again for human beings across the globe, from all walks of life, of all ages to have a fulfilling, joyful relationship with their Creator again. That’s what we were made for. But because of sin, we think that avoiding pain, loss, and suffering is our best good. That’s how we structure our lives, to experience the least physical and emotional discomfort as possible. But if you look around you at the people who have the most means for keeping themselves from experiencing pain and loss, are they happy? They’re not. For one, they’re never satisfied; they always want more comfort, more ease. For two, they’re terrified that something is going to happen and bring it all crashing down. On the other hand, when those who really know God experience hard things, how do they react? What does it do to them? It brings them closer to Him. Our natural, sinful tendency is to put our trust in things that are not God. We trust school, government, our car’s safety features, locks on our doors at home, etc., etc. to keep us safe, and we trust friends, family, work, hobbies, etc. to give us joy and fulfillment. God loves us enough to send hard things our way to strip us of those trusts, because He knows that our ultimate source of security and fulfillment comes from Him. God doesn’t promise us an easy life, in fact, He promises us a hard one. But He also promises that He will be with us, has a plan for us, and will turn anything we may think is bad in the moment to good in the end. As you go through your day today, think about how God has used things you did not enjoy, things you might have labeled as ‘bad’ when they happened for your good in the end. Remember that He will always do that and fear not. Thanks for joining me on the podcast today. Next week we’re going to wrap up the series on fear with a few more practical steps, examples, and stories. I hope you’ll join me then.

Increasing Knowledge of God’s Power In order to fight fear with trust in God, we have to know more about who God is--or more accurately, we have to remind ourselves what we have already heard and believe it. We'll start by looking at four facets of God's power and how they work together. Show Notes: We have been talking about fear and anxiety and how to battle them in our everyday life. One of the things we’ve learned is that fear is the opposite of trust. If we could completely trust God in every moment with everything, we would not experience fear anymore. However, here is where we find ourselves with a problem. We can’t just decide to trust God more. Trust is built on knowledge and experience. The more we know and experience a person or thing, the more we can choose to trust it or them. If I sit down in a chair without thinking twice, it is because I have made the decision to trust that it will hold me, but I have made that decision based on my knowledge of its structure and past performance. I trusted it, and then I proved that trust by sitting in it. Now if the chair does not have a good track record or looks unsafe, I can’t force myself to trust it fully unless it’s fixed or proven to be safe. I can force myself to sit in it, but it will be with a dose of caution and fear because I do not trust it. Trust is also easier to destroy than it is to build. We all know how one bad experience can change the way we see things and ruin our trust. One bloody encounter with a dog can make us fear all dogs. One relative in a plane crash could cause us to decide never to fly again. Trust in God works the same way. Until our knowledge and experience with Him increases, we will not trust Him more. Additionally, if we have a faulty view of God—like one that says He must protect us and those we love from all harm—one negative medical test result or car crash can bring our trust in God crashing down. So the real problem in combating fear seems to be that we do not know enough about God. Though it might also be accurate to say that we do not actually believe everything we have heard is true about Him. Even if we believed and acted on certain truths about God in the past, we may not anymore. Our fallen human nature has an annoying way of throwing out truth when we're not looking and replacing it with lies. Where once we believed God was loving and attentive, now we perceive Him as distant and indifferent to our lives. This is often an unconscious shift. If asked, we would say that of course we believe God cares about us. But like we talked about several weeks ago, we always live what we believe. So our behavior has become fearful, then we need to evaluate if we really believe what the Bible says about who God is. In order to help us better understand the character of God as it relates to fear, I want to focus on two larger facets of who He is—His power and His love. If we are to place our trust in God, we must know that He is both capable of handling anything in our lives and caring enough to keep our best interests at heart. Our God is both these things, but you don’t have to just take my word for it. Let’s see what the Bible has to say. One of my summers on staff at a camp was spent as a counselor. Over the course of the summer, I had over seventy campers come through my cabin. Some of those kids were from great homes and Bible-believing churches. Others came from rough backgrounds and were going back to a place with no church support and families who didn't know Christ. While they were in my care, I had influence in their lives. I could speak truth to them and answer their tough questions. When they went home, however, sometimes I was afraid for them. What if they fell away from Christ? What if those who were supposed to be caring for them ended up hurting them instead? Sometimes I thought it would be easier if I could just keep them all, but I knew that wasn't practical. I had to trust in God's power to care for them as He knew they needed. I had to trust God's omnipotence. “Omnipotence” is a fancy word that means “all-powerful.” The Bible is full of examples of God’s power, starting with Creation. Genesis 1:3 says, “Then God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.” God spoke light into existence, and He didn’t stop there. By the word of His mouth, He created everything that is, apart from Adam and Eve, whom He formed out of dust and a rib, respectively. In the book of Job, after Job has tried to show his own innocence and vindicate himself before God and his friends, he is confronted by God. God asks Job a lengthy series of lofty questions designed to humble him, and it works. Job’s response in chapter 42 begins with this, “I know that You can do anything and no plan of Yours can be thwarted.” That’s power. Sometimes I wish I could make anything I want happen, then I realize that a world following my every whim would definitely end in disaster. In Numbers 11, God promises to bring meat for the wandering people of Israel, enough for a whole month. Moses doubts that it is possible, but God answers him, saying, “Is the Lord’s power limited? You will see whether or not what I have promised will happen to you.” God comes through with quail, just as He promised. Daniel 2:21-22 is a portion of Daniel’s prayer of praise to God for revealing the meaning of Nebuchadnezzar’s dream. “[God] changes the times and seasons; He removes kings and establishes kings. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding. He reveals the deep and hidden things; He knows what is in the darkness, and light dwells with Him.” God’s power and control extends even to weather, rulers, and knowledge. Take a moment to think about that. What do you control? How much power do you have? Can you make your phone charge by thinking about it? Can you convince the gas in your tank to last you until the next gas station? Can you make your children or siblings obey you? Can you prevent your hair from turning gray? Can you keep a deer from jumping out in front of your car? Can you keep your nail polish from chipping? We like to think that we have control, but we really don’t. Our power is so limited. Speaking about how difficult it is for rich men to be saved, Jesus says in Matthew 19:26, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Based on the other passages we’ve explored, we can safely apply this to more than just salvation. God is capable of anything. He wields unimaginable power, enough to speak galaxies into existence and radically change the lives of sinners. So that’s God’s omnipotence, the fact that He has the power to do anything He wants at any time. Let’s look at another facet of God’s power. I don’t know about you, but I often wonder what my life will hold in the future. A few years ago, I had no idea what I was supposed to do with my life or what my next steps should be. I was so scared to make a wrong move and step outside the will of God that I was paralyzed. I thought that in order to choose the next thing, I had to have a significant part of my life planned, but that was impossible because I didn't know everything that was going to happen. My mind just kept going in circles trying to figure it out. What I didn't realize was that God has always had a plan for my life, but He doesn't reveal the whole thing at once. I don't have to have my whole life figured out, because He does. I just have to trust Him and listen for the next thing I have to do. I have to trust His omniscience. If God is omniscient, it means that He knows all things across all time. There is nothing beyond the scope of God’s knowledge, and nothing and no one can outsmart Him or keep a secret from Him. 1 John 3:20 says that God “knows all things.” He has known them for all time. As a finite human, my knowledge and memory are so small. I have to set alarms to remind myself to do all kinds of things, even things I enjoy and want to do. Isaiah 40:13-15 says: “Who has directed the Spirit of the Lord, or who gave Him His counsel? Who did He consult with? Who gave Him understanding and taught Him the paths of justice? Who taught Him knowledge and showed Him the way of understanding? Look, the nations are like a drop in a bucket; they are considered as a speck of dust in the scales; He lifts up the islands like fine dust.” Just think about that for a moment. I am a learner. I pride myself in the things I know and am constantly trying to learn new things. I will never come remotely close to having as much knowledge as God has. If God's knowledge could be measured and represented as all the grains of sand on the earth, my knowledge would not even be equivalent to one atom of one grain of sand. While teaching his disciples to fear God and not men, Jesus says, “Aren’t two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father’s consent” (Matt. 10:29). This speaks to both God’s power and His omniscience. He not only knows when sparrows die, but He also has to give permission for it to happen. David says of God in Psalm 139:1-6: “Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I stand up; You understand my thoughts from far away. You observe my travels and my rest; You are aware of all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, You know all about it, Lord. You have encircled me; You have placed Your hand on me. This extraordinary knowledge is beyond me. It is lofty; I am unable to reach it.” In 1 Kings 8:39, Solomon says of God, “You alone know every human heart.” It is one thing to know statistics and historical facts; it is quite another to know the intimate thoughts and feelings of each person to ever live—including you and me. That is how far God’s knowledge goes. What’s another way God is powerful? As I’m writing this, some of my friends just landed in Haiti, and a few more are headed out this weekend. Haiti has had a lot of civil unrest recently, and their trip was postponed from February to now. Even though things seem to have settled down, the US government has not lifted the travel advisory for Haiti. This means that if something does happen while they’re there, getting help from our government is complicated. In order to not be anxious for them, it helps to remind myself that the same God who is present with me in the States is also present with them in Haiti. I have to remember that God is omnipresent. The omnipresence of God means that He is in all places at all times. This is not like when you and I try to multitask, and each thing we are doing only gets a small piece of our attention. God is fully present everywhere. He is present and available with me as I type this, as He is with my friend in Pennsylvania, my cousin across the country, and my friend in the other room. This also does not mean that He is small enough to be contained by the walls of my bedroom but has managed to replicate Himself so as to be in multiple places at once. God cannot be measured as we measure matter. David continues in Psalm 139:7-12 with these words: “Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there. If I live at the eastern horizon or settle at the western limits, even there Your hand will lead me; Your right hand will hold on to me. If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light around me will be night’— even the darkness is not dark to You. The night shines like the day; darkness and light are alike to You.” God is all-powerful, all-knowing, and everywhere present. What else? In October of 2011, I began thinking about what position I would be interested in pursuing the next summer at camp. Through a series of events, I determined that God was calling me to a particular position at the camp I had grown up attending and working at. I went after it but was turned down. I was so sure that this was where God wanted me that I didn't pursue any other position for the summer but kept waiting to hear that they had changed their minds about me. It sounds silly now, but I have hardly ever been so convinced of where I was supposed to be than then. About two weeks before camp started, I still didn't have a job for the summer, and I needed one. My aunt called and told me about a position at a camp near her that had been posted in their church bulletin. I called about it and was told that the position had been filled and was never supposed to have been posted in the bulletin. Desperate, I asked if there were any other positions available. He said there was one spot left. I came to this new camp that summer as the breakfast/lunch cook. My plan was to work for three months and make some money. I didn't want to form attachments or lasting connections. I was angry that I wasn't at the camp I loved, and I didn't understand why God would bring me to this new place that I didn't know. What I didn't realize was that it was there that God would introduce me to a nine-month internship designed to help me understand my identity in Christ and God's purpose for my life. It was there that God transformed a scared and scarred, timid girl into a woman after His own heart. God never intended for me to get that position at the camp I had always worked at, but He put that desire in my heart to lead me to something far better. I never would have voluntarily left that camp for another; I was very loyal to my roots and scared to try anything else. God knew that, and He knew that I needed that internship, and through His sovereignty, He led me right where I needed to go. The three characteristics of God’s power that we have talked about combine into what we call the sovereignty of God—that because God knows all things, is all-powerful, and is everywhere present, He makes all things take place as He has planned them and for His purposes. Because of God’s sovereignty, nothing is pointless; everything works for His glory. Isaiah 48:9-11 shows how zealous God is for His own glory. Notice how many times He says things like “for My name” or “for My praise”: “I will delay My anger for the honor of My name, and I will restrain Myself for your benefit and for My praise, so that you will not be destroyed. Look, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. I will act for My own sake, indeed, My own, for how can I be defiled? I will not give My glory to another.” God speaks to Israel in Isaiah 46:8-11 saying: “Remember this and be brave; take it to heart, you transgressors! Remember what happened long ago, for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and no one is like Me. I declare the end from the beginning, and from long ago what is not yet done, saying: My plan will take place, and I will do all My will. I call a bird of prey from the east, a man for My purpose from a far country. Yes, I have spoken; so I will also bring it about. I have planned it; I will also do it.” What God sets in motion, no one can stop. What Satan and men plan for evil, God turns to his own purposes, just like the story of Joseph. That is power like no one else possesses. Such is the power of our God. Next week we are going to talk about the attribute of God’s love and answer the objection that ‘if God is so powerful and loving, how does He allow bad things to happen to good people?’. I hope you’ll join me then.

Six Steps in Combating Fear If God commands us against fear, then we need to fight against fear anywhere we find it. Here are six steps for how to go about waging this war on fear. Show Notes: The last few weeks, we’ve been talking about fear. In this episode, I want to give you my six steps for dealing with fear. The first step is you have to realize you’re afraid. This may seem obvious, but sometimes the things we’re afraid of hide behind excuses, and we don’t even know that’s what’s going on. One of the things fear hides behind is avoidance. You might be afraid of injuring someone while driving. Instead of getting to the bottom of why you avoid driving in the city or why you haven’t gotten your license yet, you just pretend it’s not a big deal and keep avoiding. Another thing fear hides behind is saying, “I just don’t like _______” For example, I am terrified of being injured by falling, and I used to say, “I don’t like heights.” If you are afraid of being stung by bees or attacked by a bear, you might say, “I just don’t like camping.” This is a common way for fears to hide. It makes it so that we don’t have to admit what we’re afraid of, and it gives us an excuse to avoid situations that might make us face our fear. Listen to yourself when you’re with other people. What excuses do you give for not doing things? What can they tell you about what you’re really afraid of? Another indicator light for our fears is worry and anxiety. If I have an un-dealt-with fear of driving off a bridge, I will think about possible scenarios in which I might drive off a bridge, even when I am nowhere near one. When I get in the car knowing I’ll have to drive over a bridge, the anxiety increases. What if my brakes or power steering gives out? What if there’s a giant earthquake that breaks the bridge while I’m on it? What if someone else falls asleep at the wheel and crashes into me? When I actually have to drive over a bridge, my heart races, my knuckles are white around the steering wheel, and my stomach feels like I ate a bad burrito. Another signal for fear is holding too tightly to something or being overly cautious. There are a couple boys I babysit sometimes that demonstrate this well. The older boy is 3, and the younger one is not quite 1. The older boy is scared his little brother is going to break his things. He has two main strategies for preventing this: keep the toys out of reach and physically injure his little brother when he gets too close. Is the one-year-old capable of breaking most of the toys? No. But even the slight possibility that he might is enough to send the older boy into panic mode. He’s holding too tightly. The second step in combating fear is admit your fear. Like I mentioned last week, this is so important to do, but it is also the most mentally challenging, I think. It doesn’t take any special skills or internal probing, but it is a fight. Satan receives high benefits when we fear, because it keeps us from doing what God asks of us. He will stop at nothing to keep us from admitting our fears and beginning to live fearlessly. That combat takes place in the self-talk that goes on inside our heads. This is a battleground for spiritual warfare. The lies that will come at you might include: “This fear isn’t big enough to matter.” It is. Any fear ultimately means a lack of trust in God. “Admitting your fear will do nothing. It’s not worth it.” It is, and it does. It opens the door for truth, the biggest enemy of fear. “People will think less of you if they knew.” Those who love God and love you will not condemn you or think less of you for working toward freedom from fear. It will be quite the opposite, actually. People will rally around you to help. “It’s more effort than it’s worth.” Though the journey may be long, the joy and freedom are worth it. There may be other tactics the enemy uses to keep you from admitting your fear, but you must not let him win. Fight back with the truth. The first person to whom you should admit your fear is God. Yes, He already knows about it. He’s also already paid for the sin of disbelief that’s causing it. Like any good Father, He wants to hear your doubts and fears. If we come to Him in humility, telling Him what scares us and asking for His help, He will gladly give it. I have prayed so often a prayer like this, “God, I am scared of (fill in the blank), and I know I’m not fully trusting You. I want to trust You more; please help me.” The second person to whom you should admit your fear is a close Christian friend or mentor. Admitting your fear to another person breaks its power. It also gives you an ally to help you through the rest of the process. Step three is a process I call funneling. The fears we have are like funnels. The top is what you are initially reacting to, and the bottom is what you are really afraid of. The top could be anything from heights, to dogs, to going on a date, to making a telephone call. At the bottom, there are those three basic fears we talked about last week: loss of control, emotional distress, and physical pain. Every fear can be funneled down to one or more of these three, and we want to do that. The advantage of funneling down our fear is that it helps us understand where the fear is coming from. When we do that, it is easier to identify the lies that are causing them and the truths that combat them. The first step in funneling fear is to be honest about what it is we are afraid of. For example, it is not enough to say, “I am afraid of driving.” We have to figure out why. Are you afraid to die in a crash? Are you afraid of driving off a cliff or bridge? Let’s say we are afraid of getting in an accident but not dying. What is the next step down the funnel? Now we ask which of the three basic fears are involved. Is it the emotional trauma of wrecking a car that you fear? Is it the physical pain and long recovery time of a potential injury? Is it the loss of control from a paralyzing wound? The answer might be one or all of the above, but it is helpful to figure out which is primary. If the thing that scares us the most about driving is the possibility of becoming a quadriplegic, then we know this is really a control issue. Now we must ask ourselves what else might be connected to this fear. Do we have other control problems? Do we struggle with letting people do things for us? Do we find ourselves worrying about the future on a regular basis? Even though it scares us to drive, is it worse to let someone else drive? Do we have trouble doing things like zip lines or other activities where we are required to place our safety in the hands of other people or equipment? Once you make these connections, you are ready to move onto step four: identifying the lies Every fear has a foundation of lies holding it up. The cornerstone is the lie about God’s character, but it can be difficult to identify this lie just by looking at the top of the fear funnel. Once we have dug down and figured out the basic fears, however, it becomes easier. If the root of fear is a lack of trust in God, and there are three basic fears, then there must be three basic lies about God that we regularly believe. Here they are: God does not care about me. God is not capable of protecting/providing for me. God is not in control of all things. Much like the three basic fears, these lies about God can be intertwined in every fear we have. If we take our fear of becoming a quadriplegic, we can see better how that works. We have figured out that we are afraid of driving, getting in an accident, and losing the loss of our limbs for the rest of our lives. We know that this is because we hate losing control, and the thought of living a life where we have to be fed and taken care of by others is terrifying. What lies are we believing? First, we see this prospect as a series of terrible events with no possible good outcomes. This is limiting God’s power and control. If God is sovereign, then He is able to turn the things that we see as bad to good. Second, we might be believing that God does not love us, otherwise He would not let people (and possibly us) get into car crashes and be seriously injured. This is taking what we see of the world and placing it above what the Bible says about God, which never leads to anything good. Once you know what lies you are believing, finding the truth that counters them is step five. You may even realize the truth before the lie. If you’re believing that God is not sovereign, the truth is that He is. He holds everything in His hands and has planned all your days with your good and joy in mind. Next week we’re going to look at some basic truths of God’s character so that we are better equipped to know what truths about God are relevant to the lies we’ve been believing. The final step in combating fear is to take the truths you’ve found that counter the lies that are the cornerstone to your fears and preach them to yourself daily. If lies weren’t so sneaky, coming this far would be the end of the fear. However, God has created us to be forgetful people. I think it’s to keep us humble. The more we realize how weak and prone to fear we are, the more we lean on God and His help. To counter those sneaky lies, we have to be consistent and intentional with the truth. Wake up and preach it to yourself. Instead of scrolling through your phone, think about it when you’re standing in line or waiting for something.  

Responses to Fear and the Three Basic Fears Ever since fear became a part of our reality, we’ve had three responses to it: trust, fight, or evade. We've also had three basic fears: physical pain, emotional pain, and loss of control. Listen in to see how these fears and responses play into our lives. Show Notes: Today we are talking about the responses to fear, the three basic fears, and one of the first steps in combating fear. Ever since fear became a part of our reality, we’ve had three responses to it: trust, fight, or evade. Evasion includes both fleeing and hiding—basic avoidance. The phone call comes that your mom is in the hospital. You hear through the grapevine that your boss wants to talk to you. Red flags start popping up that tell you your boyfriend might be cheating on you. Fear starts to take over, and your mind begins whirling in circles. What do you do? The instinct for most of us is to evade. Evasion can take a few different forms. For physical danger, evasion is pretty self-explanatory. You look for the best escape route or something big to hide behind. For emotional danger, evasion becomes more complicated. We might avoid seeing or talking to the person we’re afraid of or who is most closely related to what we fear. A few years ago, my grandma was dying of cancer. I was afraid of two things: that she was going to lose the battle and that I would only be able to remember her in her cancer-ridden form. After it started to really turn bad, I never went to see her. I hid behind excuses. That was a fear-dictated decision, it was wrong, and I regret it. Another way we try to evade what we fear is by pretending that what we fear isn’t happening or won’t occur. I’ve seen this in marriages a lot. Spouses ignore warning signs and go on as though life is normal, when it’s obvious that something needs to change. They’re afraid of what the other person will think if they bring it up, afraid of change, afraid of other people finding out they’re not okay, so they just ignore it. It never ends well. Putting on masks is another common form of evasion. Wearing masks is all about burying who we are and instead displaying who we think others want to see. We might try to be happy all the time because we’re afraid of seeing those around us in pain, and that’s what we think will help. We may change the way we act around different people because we’re afraid of rejection or not fitting in. We might go through life wearing the “I’m busy” mask, so that no one will be able to get close enough to hurt us. We may try to be perfect on social media, so that people will like us and envy us. We think hiding will keep us safe, but it is a lonely existence. The fight reaction is a little tricky to understand. The reason we fight is not always because we are afraid, and our response to fear is not always fighting. Sometimes fighting can mean we are pushing past our fear and trusting. So how do we tell the difference? The answer lies in our motives. Are we fighting to hide some deeper fear? If I lash out at someone for a comment they made that caused me to feel incompetent, I am giving into fear. However, if I stand up to a bully at school to protect the little guy, I might be fighting against fear. The questions is: is my choice to fight fueled by trust or fear? Not too long after I moved to work at a Grace Adventures for the first time, there was a night when I stayed out late for work. I had forgotten my flashlight and was forced to walk home in the dark. The route was still somewhat unfamiliar, and I found myself assailed by a number of fears. What if I get lost? What if a cougar or a bear jumps out of the woods and attacks me? What if a skunk walks out and I don't see him before it's too late? As the thoughts mounted and my blood pressure spiked, I heard one of the things I was dreading—growing and barking. It was a low and vicious sound. I wasn't aware that any of the staff families had dogs, and I was afraid that it was a wild mutt, willing to tear me limb from limb at the slightest provocation. At that moment, I had a choice: turn around and run for my life or stand and fight. I chose the latter and pulled my knife from my pocket. For the life of me, I can't remember why I stayed. It might have been because I was too scared to walk back through the dark to find another route home, in which case my decision to fight was only a choice between two fears. It might have also been that I had a brief moment of God-given trust that either He would not let me be attacked by a wild dog or He would use such an attack for my good. Either way, I pressed on, edging slowly along the road as close to the tree line as I could in the dark. The dog continued to growl and bark, but I guessed at that point that he was either on a leash or unwilling to follow through on his threats. After what seemed like forever, I finally made it far enough down the road that I could tell the dog was behind me, and I ran home faster than the fifth little piggy. Whether we fight or evade depends on what we fear and how close the source of that fear is to us. Without God's help, if we think it’s possible to escape our fears, we will attempt to hide, cover up, divert, deceive, and run until evasion is no longer an option. The dark, spiders, driving off a bridge, public speaking, camping, apologizing, singing anywhere except the shower, snakes, disappointing people in authority, people finding out our deepest secrets, drowning, clowns, being attacked by wild animals, needles, and being unable to help those we care about. These are just a few common fears. Do you share any of them? Even though these fears are wildly diverse, they can all be boiled down to three basic fears: physical pain, emotional pain, and loss of control. Like we saw last week, every fear really comes down to a loss of control. When we don’t trust God and believe that He is in control, we either take our safety and well-being into our own hands or put our trust in the control of others, like government, insurance, or parents. Fear comes into play when we realize that our control or that of those we trust is insufficient. I am afraid of the dark because I don’t know what is out there and whether or not I can handle it. I am afraid of making close friends because they might leave or hurt me, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m afraid of the future because I don’t know what is out there and if it is beyond my abilities. It’s all outside my control, and that is terrifying. You might have felt safe at school, because you were trusting the security that was in place. But then you hear that there was a shooting at a school with the same security measures as yours. Suddenly your trust in the system is gone, and you’re afraid. You thought they had control, but now you realize they don’t. The second type of fear is emotional distress. These are fears we have because we are ultimately afraid of things like embarrassment, criticism, or anger aimed toward us. I’m afraid of public speaking because of what people might think and say about me and because I may mess up and embarrass myself. I fear praying out loud and making phone calls to strangers for the same reasons. I’m afraid of social interactions because I fear rejection and the pain that comes with that. I’m afraid of losing everything I own in a house fire and the emotional pain that comes with that. Other fears that stem from this include: abandonment, being alone, failure, commitment, and intimacy with others. Perhaps the most obvious type of fear is physical pain or injury. I am afraid of spiders, heights, driving in traffic, snakes, and my car door opening on the highway all because they have the potential for physical pain. Most fears are a combination of at least two, if not all three of these basic fears. Death is a good example of this. Many people are afraid of death. Why is this? Firstly, they are afraid of what will come after. That is a huge unknown that elicits the fear of loss of control. Secondly, people are afraid of the process of dying. This can be an emotionally difficult and physically painful time, especially if there is a long, drawn-out illness involved. Another example would be doing something adventurous or physically demanding you’ve never done before, especially with other people. I went skiing for the first time last year with some friends. I am not the most physically capable person on the planet. Throwing and catching a frisbee is difficult for me. I was afraid that the friends I was going with, who are all quite athletic and had been skiing before, would ridicule me for my ineptitude or leave me to do more intense hills. That’s emotional pain. I was also afraid that I would not be able to stop and would crash. That’s both loss of control and physical pain. When we are afraid, there is one thing we convince ourselves that we cannot do. We can’t ever let anyone know what we are afraid of. If we admit that to anyone—even ourselves sometimes—we are convinced that our fear is more likely to become reality or that people will think less of us because of it. In fact, one of your fears might be that people will find out what you’re afraid of. But that is a lie. Keeping our fears secret is not in our best interests. Our fears are always built upon foundations of lies. When we start to open up about them, we realize these foundations are false, and we start to become free. When we are happy and free, we are incredibly useful to God. That is the last thing that Satan, the father of lies, wants. I cannot emphasize this enough. You have to let people in. You must let them see the deep fears, the socially unacceptable ones that you think you’re the only one who struggles with. Only then will you recognize the lies for what they are and be able to believe the truth. Letting people see the darkness is the first step in becoming free from fear. In order for lies to continue, they need more lies to back them up. If you’ve ever lied, you know this. It’s not enough to tell one little “white” lie. Someone will see through it if you don’t add more lies to it. The only solution for the mess we make is truth. The same is true when it comes to the foundations of lies beneath our fears. If we allow people we trust to know the things we’re afraid of, they will spread truth into our lives and dismantle the fortress of lies that surrounds us and builds our fears. I hope this week you take a chance and tell someone you’re close to something that really frightens you that you’ve never told them before. See what happens. Thanks for joining me on the podcast today. Next week we are going to talk through a process I call funneling and how we can use that to fight against fear in

Levels of Fear and Fear of God There are different levels of fear and ways that it affects us. Are they all wrong? What actually causes us to start being afraid? What about fear of God? How do you explain God's command to fear Him if He elsewhere says, "Fear not!"? Show Notes: Welcome back to More than Milk. I’m Hannah Rebekah. Last week we identified that we all have a fear problem and that being fearful is wrong because it is an affront to the character of God. I want to dive in a little more into what I mean by “being fearful.” I believe no sin is more of less offensive to God, but I also believe that from our perspective, there are levels of sin. A lie about how an outfit looks on someone is no less damning than murder, but we can see a clear difference between the two. There are also levels of fear. Because we live in a sinful world with remnants of a sinful nature, we sin accidentally all the time. To experience fear at all is to not be actively trusting God at every moment, and that’s wrong, whether it was for only a second or we dwelled on it for an hour. But these thoughts and feelings just happen. We often don’t see them coming. Once we know they’re there, we can deal with them and prevent them from moving onto the next level of fear, but we can’t just wake up one day and say, “You know what? I’m done with fear. I’m not going to feel it anymore; I’m going to trust God,” and have that work. The way to eliminate those fears that just happen is by consistent, daily practices of conscious trust over a lifetime. I want to enable you to work up to that, but right now I’m more concerned with the next level of fear. The more serious level of fear is when we allow it to dictate our decision-making. I have the opportunity to go swimming in the ocean, but I make excuses about why I can’t go because I’m afraid of sharks. I’m invited to a party but am afraid of what the people there will think of me, so I don’t go. I find a job I want, but I’m afraid of getting turned down, so I don’t apply. I know God is telling me to help out in youth group, but I’m afraid that the students won’t like me or that it will cut in on my “me” time on Sunday evenings, so I put it off. The most serious level of fear would be when you don’t just avoid doing things you should be doing but do things you shouldn’t be doing. This is how a lot of gangs and mobs work. Everyone is afraid of everyone above them, so they’re willing to do anything it takes to stay on their good side. You tell a white lie, and you’re afraid you’ll be found out, so you tell a worse one. You know a guy likes you, but you’re afraid of commitment or getting hurt, so you block him on social media and avoid him at all costs. All three of these levels are wrong, but generally speaking, the first two hurt you more than anything, and the last one hurts others as well. So what makes us afraid? We know the opportunity is there because we don’t trust God, but we can not trust God at all and not be afraid constantly. What triggers that response? Fear is indirectly tied to perceived control. In other words, the more control you think you have, the less fearful you are. The less control you have, the more fearful you are. But it’s not just your control that’s factors in. It’s everyone you trust, too. As a child, if you are confident that your parents are in control of finances, home security, etc., you’re less likely to be fearful. On the other hand, if you know money is tight or your parents are fighting all the time, that leads to a realization that control is lacking, which causes fear. This goes for the government, banks, school and church leaders, friends, bosses, etc. For everything we’re afraid of, there is some loss of control on the part of someone we trust. This is why trusting God is the solution to all of our fears. Every human and human institution is fallible. Even if they have your best interests at heart, they will fail at some point. That’s not true of God. His control is absolute. Many people think the solution to fear is more control. Design a better banking system. Build more secure houses and implement better security systems. Increase airport security. Install metal detectors in schools. These things are not necessarily bad in and of themselves, though I could make an argument that if they were designed because of fear, they’re wrong. The real problem is that we think they’re the solution to our fear problem. But every system can be hacked. Every door can be broken down. In the back of our minds, we know this, and so we’re still afraid. The solution is to realize, “Yes, bad things can and will happen. But God has ultimate control, and He loves me, and He has a purpose for my life. I can trust Him to do what is best for me.” Let’s go back to fear being wrong for a second. The biggest objection I’ve heard when I say all fear is wrong is, “What about fear of God? God commands us to fear Him, so all fear can’t be wrong.” If you were thinking that, good catch. God says over and over to fear Him and that the fear of Him is the beginning of wisdom and all sorts of other good things. So why is that? How can God tell us to both fear and not fear? To understand this, we need to do a little ancient language study. The Bible was composed primarily in two languages: Hebrew and Greek. The Old Testament was written in Hebrew, and the New Testament was written in Greek. Any time you translate something from its original language to a new language, you are bound to lose things along the way. Fear is a perfect example. There are several Hebrew words that are translated as “fear” in English. Most of them mean terror, trembling, etc., but three of them are used either in part or exclusively to mean “moral reverence” or “awe.” The Greek language makes similar distinctions. There are two different types of fear that are felt in relation to God. The first is from the perspective of an unbeliever, and it is sheer terror. When we come to recognize who God is and who we are in comparison, we should experience real fear. This is because our only source of ultimate protection—God—sees us as having broken His perfect law and deserving of punishment. If you’re a believer, especially if you came to Christ at an older age, you may have a vivid recollection of when you first realized this. If the opposite of fear is trust, then in that moment, we recognize we have nothing to trust. Our own righteousness is worthless. Our capacities are miniscule. Unless God has mercy on us, we have no hope. That brings us to the second type of fear we feel toward God, and it is from the perspective of a believer, one of God’s chosen ones. This is moral reverence. It means that we still understand that God is holy and far greater than we are, and we remember that He takes sin very seriously. However, we’re no longer afraid of the punishment that He will bring on us. If we’ve believed on the name of Jesus, He’s paid for our sin on the cross. We no longer have to fear retribution of any kind. That doesn’t mean we go around sinning like it doesn’t matter. That’s where the moral reverence comes in. It is a healthy understanding of who God is on the one hand and both the memory of all He’s done for us in the past and the promise of all He will do for us in the future that keeps us on the right path. Every time in the Old Testament that God or someone speaking for Him commands His people to fear Him, one of those three Hebrew words for moral reverence is used. The New Testament continues this pattern. When we become believers, God does not change. He is still awesome and incredibly powerful. It is our position in relation to Him that changes. We no longer have to fear punishment from God, but because of who He is, we do still need to respect, revere, and be awed by Him. Our position has gone from enemy of God to friend and child of God. In practice, however, our fear of God might be more cyclical. As believers who still sin, when we are in a pattern of disobedience, we may find ourselves more conscious of the wrath of God and be overtaken again by terror, but this should always lead us back to repentance and awe at God’s love and grace. We should not spend the rest of our lives in fear of what God will do to us. 1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love.” I hope this episode has been helpful to you in understanding a little more about how fear works and when it’s wrong. Next week we are going to talk about the three things we are ultimately afraid of, the two biggest negative responses to fear, and how to begin to combat them. I hope you’ll join me then.

The Beginning of Fear and Why it’s Wrong Everyone has things they’re afraid of. Everyone has worries in the back of their minds. We don’t like being afraid, and we don’t like that it keeps us from deeper relationships or doing things other people enjoy, but we can’t seem to stop being afraid. Why is this? Show Notes: Today we are talking about fear and anxiety. For the most part, I’m going to use these two terms interchangeably, because they stem from the same things and cause similar effects and problems for us. If I use them distinctly, I mean ‘anxiety’ to be the steady trickle in the background—similar to worry—and ‘fear’ to be the more intense feeling when something scary is right there in front of you. Everyone has things they’re afraid of. Everyone has worries in the back of their minds. We don’t like being afraid, and we don’t like that it keeps us from deeper relationships or doing things other people enjoy, but we can’t seem to stop being afraid. Why is this? Let’s start with an important question. According to the Bible, is it wrong to be fearful? This is important because it determines how we approach this whole topic. If fear is not sinful but just something we all deal with, then you can pick and choose which fears to address and only put in as much effort as you feel like at any given time. On the other hand, if being anxious and fearful is morally wrong, then we need to make every effort to abolish it from our lives, whatever the cost. From my study of scripture, I am convinced that being fearful is wrong. Let me show you why. I searched the Bible for instances where God commands his people to take courage or not to be afraid. I found over one hundred occurrences. In the pages of scripture, no one is ever praised for being anxious; instead, people are consistently instructed against it. This alone should bring us to the conclusion that being fearful is wrong, but why? Why does it matter to God if we are afraid? To find the answer to this, we need to look back to the dawn of fear. The Bible tells us at the beginning of Genesis that Adam and Eve ‘walked with God.’ One of the implications of this phrase is that Adam and Eve trusted God. They were completely confident that He would protect and care for them. Think of the best relationship that you have, the one with the person who has proven their love and care for you the most and has done the least to harm you. You trust them because you can safely predict that if your needs ever come into conflict with theirs, they’ll still try to do what is best for you. Adam and Eve’s relationship with God was even better. Adam and Eve had never been wronged and had never been given a reason to distrust anyone. A conflict of interest wasn’t even possible. Everything was perfect. Then in Genesis 3, the two of them ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, disobeying God’s instructions, and suddenly they knew something was wrong. How did they respond? They hid their nakedness with fig leaves, and they hid themselves from God among the trees. God came walking in the garden and asked, “Where are you?” and Adam said, “I heard You in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.” “I was afraid.” For the first time, Adam did not trust God. He knew he had done something very wrong, and he knew there was something very wrong with him. In that moment, he was unsure how God would respond, and he was afraid. Sin entered the world and with it, a host of unknowns, dangers, and other things beyond their control. Adam and Eve’s relationship with their Creator was broken, and they no longer fully trusted Him the way they had before they’d sinned. Thanks to the fallen sin nature they passed down, this is now true of all of us. We don’t trust God, and as a result, we are all afraid. This is a moral problem because God is worthy of trust. Being both perfect and sovereign, God always brings about the ultimate good in every situation. When we are afraid, what we’re essentially saying is either, “God, I don’t believe you’re capable of handling this,” or “God, I don’t think you care about me enough to always do what’s best for me.” That is an affront to the character and magnificent glory of God. When we believe these lies about God, we try to take our physical and emotional safety into our own hands. We say, “No thanks, God, I’ll take it from here,” thinking we have more knowledge and power than God Himself. That is a very unwise decision. Imagine you set your young child or younger sibling on a ledge and tell them to jump into your arms. They shake their head ‘no.’ You promise them that you love them and that you won’t let them fall. Still they refuse. What is their unspoken assessment of the situation? You’re not good enough. I don’t trust you. That hurts your heart, doesn’t it? Why? Because you know that you deserve their trust. Now imagine there is a danger coming toward them, something they don’t understand is dangerous. You try to convince them that they’re safer jumping than staying, but they just can’t bring themselves to do it. This is an imperfect picture of how we act when we are afraid, but I hope it helps you. God commands us to trust Him, rather than living in the grip of fear, and that makes it morally wrong to be fearful. Additionally, God knows that trusting Him is the best possible thing for us, much better than going through life anxious and afraid. Living in fear damages relationships, hampers work productivity, and can cripple mental health. We have to choose trust and take the leap into our Father’s arms, both because it is right and because it is for our own good. If you’ve never taken the time to think about what things you’re afraid of, try to do that this week. If you already know and are fed-up with the problem and hoping for some concrete ways of taking care of fear, keep listening! We’re going to get very practical before this series is through. Next week we’re going to talk about how specific fears get started in our hearts and minds and how to f

Everyone is different, and we all connect to truths better through story. That's why I wanted to bring you an interview with a good friend of mine about some of the topics we've been discussing. I hope it gives you an even better understanding of what it means to have your identity in Christ.

The Wrong Things for Our Identity What are some negative things that we find our identity in? How does culture play a role in what lies we believe and what we find our identity in? How do we notice when we're doing it? Show Notes: We have been going through a series on identity and specifically what it means to have our identity in Christ. At the beginning of this series, I mentioned several other things that we can find our identity in and some of the consequences of that. Today I want to explore that a little more. As a refresher, the most basic definition of finding our identity in something is that that thing is the foundation of our value. How true that thing is about us determines our worth in our own eyes and often in the eyes of the society we live in. There are cross-cultural, timeless things that people find their identity in, and there are things that are culture and time specific. This has to do with what the culture as a whole values. Whatever the culture values, that’s what people want to be, because then they are valuable. If you look at a traditional, Far East culture, they value saving face, tradition, and family honor. Those are the things most people in that culture are going to find their identity in. In order to look deeper at how this plays into our culture, we have to understand what our culture values. Right now, that is those who are different, who stand out, who go against the grain. To see this on display, you only have to look as far at mass advertising campaigns. The #1 underlying message is, “This will make you stand out and be your own brand of different.” You can also see this if you go to a big city. There is so much variety in the way that people look and dress. In order to be different, people will dye their hair all sorts of colors, get piercings in different places, dress in non-standard fashions, and more. This cultural valuing of people who stand out is higher in larger cities. That’s why, if you go to a small Midwest town, the percentage of people who present themselves as different from everyone else is significantly smaller than in a big city. I would love to talk about how this system backfires on itself and ends up creating pockets of people who are the same as each other and different from everyone else, but that’s another topic for another day. What people find their identity in is both individually based, meaning it comes from your personality, skills, and experiences, and it’s culturally based, like we just saw. So you will always have people who find their identity in something that is counter-cultural because they are just wired that way, but most people will find a way to tie together their individual traits with the cultural definitions of value in order to find their identity in something that is very true about them and also culturally praised. So what are those things in our culture today that large numbers of people find their identity in? Because we are in the midst of a massive cultural change, there are items on this list that are timeless, items that have to do with the culture that’s on it’s way out, and items from the “new” culture. Your social status Who your friends are Your particular display of gender How much money you have and how you spend it (either flaunting or saving) Your job and how ^ it is High status Low status Yucky Hard Clean Specialized Fun Unique Your sexual orientation What’s happened to us in our past (positive or negative) Your heritage Who you’re related to What you’ve accomplished How visually different you are from those around you How smart you are How spiritual you are How funny you are How good you are at helping people How good you are at: Gaming Math Gymnastics Sports (fill in the blank) This is not an exhaustive list, but I hope at least one of those clicked with you. You can find your identity in something that is morally, biblically right to do (like helping people or getting good grades), and you can find your identity in something that is not biblically right to do. Regardless, if we are finding our identity and source of value in something other than who God says that we are, that’s wrong. How do we know if we are finding our identity in something other than God? The best dashboard indicator light is fear. What we’re afraid of is a direct result of not finding our identity in Christ and not trusting Him to take care of us. Afraid of losing your home and possessions in a fire? You’re probably finding your identity in your stuff or your ability to entertain people well or something along those lines. Afraid of becoming a quadriplegic? You’re probably finding your identity in your ability to play sports or how independent you are or any number of other things. In the fear series I’m going to do next, we’ll explore more thoroughly how to trace fear back to the lies we’re believing and the truth that counters them. For now, though, start paying closer attention to what you’re afraid of. It might surprise you just how many things are on that list. Thanks for joining me on the podcast today. I’m hoping next week to do an interview with a friend on how understanding identity in Christ has impacted his life. I hope you’ll join me then.

Identity in Christ: My Testimony Why am I so passionate about making sure those around me understand what it means to have their identity in Christ? It's because I lived a long time as a believer without this knowledge, and when I finally got it, it drastically changed my life for the better. Show Notes: I grew up in a Christian home, went to church every week and AWANA every Wednesday, and I believed in Jesus and His sacrifice for my sin at the age of about seven. Even with all that exposure and training, I don’t remember hearing the words “identity in Christ” or hearing a sermon preached on what Paul means when he says over and over “in Christ” (which is the New Testament’s way of saying “identity in Christ”). Now I don’t have a perfect memory, so it’s completely possible that these things were talked about some, but I can reasonably conclude that they weren’t emphasized as the cornerstone of discipleship that they are. The first time I distinctly remember hearing the term “identity in Christ,” I was sitting in a meeting with the Program Administrator at Grace Adventures, talking about the possibility of doing an internship there. I wanted to do the camping apprenticeship one, and he said the gap year was more what I needed. The purposes of that program would be to help me know what I’m doing with my life and what my next steps are AND understanding my identity in Christ. I knew for sure I needed the first. The second I had heard vaguely from a distance and suddenly had the notion that this was what my spiritual life needed next, but if you’d asked me to define it, I would have been completely incapable. Those nine months changed my life completely. The first book we read as a group was Victory over the Darkness by Neil Anderson (which I’d highly recommend). In it was a list of things that are true about us as believers, much like the list I read to you toward the beginning of this series. The book instructed you to read them out loud to yourself several times. I thought this was lunacy, and I definitely lied about it when our instructor asked in the group discussion if we’d done it. I thought I knew those truths, and so I wasn’t going to do what I thought would make a fool of myself, even if it was just me in the room. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I only knew of those truths. I didn’t know them. To really know something is to connect with it mentally and emotionally and then to apply it to your life so that it changes you. In that sense, I knew nothing of identity in Christ. Though I would have adamantly denied it at the time, what I really knew of Christianity was classic legalism. I had head knowledge of much more than that, of course, but it hadn’t reached my heart or changed my life. Later on in that internship, we attended the Christian Camp and Conference Association regional section conference. Basically, it’s where a bunch of staff from Christian camps all over the state or wider, depending on the year, get together and learn more about camping, connect, and relax. It’s wonderful. The speaker that year was a guy named John Lynch. His first message was about identity in Christ, and he told it in first-person story form. It connected all the dots for me. My head was spinning by the end, and I spent an hour journaling. I felt like giant chains I’d been wearing for years suddenly lifted off. I practically bounced around campus the rest of the conference. The particular lies that I had been believing were that God’s love for me was determined by my performance, good or bad, and that my value as a person was based on what other people thought of me. Particularly, I wanted to be known as the studious one who always does things correctly, knows the answers, and is always willing to help. While there’s nothing wrong with those things to a point, since I was basing my value in people thinking that of me, there was no room for anything else. I couldn’t be silly or emotional in public. I could never say what I thought if I wasn’t 100% sure it was right. And I had a hard time telling people ‘no.’ This led to a host of fears. I was scared of just about everything you can think of. It was impressive, really. Every unknown, every possibility for failure, every opportunity where I might not be able to keep complete control of my emotions was to be avoided at all costs. This was not a very fun life to live. After the conference, it was like the flood gates of emotion I’d been holding back were released. I smiled in public. I couldn’t stop smiling, actually. I  got in trouble for being too boisterous, and it was okay, because my worth wasn’t based on what people thought of me. I was free. In the six years since then, I’ve continued to learn what it looks like practically to live out these truths. I have put so many fears to death, taken risks, and made so many mistakes along the way. And I’ve tried my hardest to help others come to know the incredible truths that if you’re saved, God’s love is not conditional on your actions, He has no wrath left for you because it was all exerted on the cross, and He has a plan for your life that will boggle your imagination. If you don’t truly know that yet, I hope that by listening to this podcast, some of your own chains have started to fall away. Next week we’re going to look at some things we can mistakenly find our identity, the signs of that, and how to reorient our lives based on truth. I hope you’ll join me then.

Overcoming Disappointment We all want things we can't have, including both things we think are good for us and things we know aren't. How do we limit the disappointment we experience, and how does identity in Christ help when we are disappointed? Show Notes: Today we’re talking about how knowing who you are in Christ can help in overcoming disappointment. Disappointment is part of being human. I’m sure you can think of many examples from both recent and distant memory when you were disappointed. Before we look at how to combat disappointment, let’s explore where it comes from. Disappointment happens when something we think is going to happen doesn’t. We can call this a blocked goal. The level that we’re committed to this thing happening affects just how disappointed we are. If I was debating going out to dinner after work but then realized my bank account says that’s a bad idea, my level of disappointment is going to be lower than if I had already decided that’s what I wanted to do. On the other hand, if I’ve been planning all year to take a trip with my friends, and it ends up falling through, I’m going to be far more disappointed. Because disappointment has to do with our expectations, a good way to avoid a lot of disappointment in the first place is to make your expectations known. If I am planning to go to the store with my friend after work without actually asking her to go, I’m setting myself up for disappointment. If you get married and expect that the woman is going to do the cooking and the man is going to do the clean-up but you haven’t expressed that, you’re probably in for some disappointment. Another way to experience less disappointment is to expect less. Like I mentioned earlier, there are levels of expectation. For explanation’s sake, we’ll call them would enjoy, wish, want, and expect. Something you know you’d enjoy but aren’t really even wishing for is going to bring you far less disappointment if it doesn’t happen than something you fully expect will happen. The more things we can leave in the would enjoy, wish, and want categories, the less disappointed we will be. I don’t mean that you try to convince yourself that you have no desires, no goals, no aspirations in life. Fulfilled goals and desires are often what brings us enjoyment in life, so if we don’t have any, we are neither disappointed or happy. The point is really contentment. With contentment, we look at what we already have and remind ourselves of the fulfilled goals and desires that brought us here, reliving those joys instead of seeking out new ones. Often the reason we lose contentment is that lies about our needs sneak into our minds. Being content means resetting our expectations, speaking truth to those lies (“I don’t really need that because I have this”), and taking a closer look at what we already have and how it satisfies our needs and desires. So what does any of this have to do with identity? Good question. Even despite all of this, there are always going to be times when we want something we don’t get. In my experience, the deepest cutting disappointment comes when you think you are on the right track of following God’s will, seeking after the goals and aspirations He has given you, and a giant boulder falls in your path. This has the potential to shake the core of your identity. Now whether it’s something as earth-shattering as that or just the fact that you had planned on taking a hot bath while the kids were at your mom’s  but now she’s sick and can’t take them, the lies and truths are very similar. Here are three basic lies that persistent disappointment is based in: God is not as powerful as I thought, and He can’t make happen the desires He gave me. God doesn’t love me as much as He’s supposed to, otherwise He wouldn’t have let this happen to me. I am a failure, and however hard I try, nothing will ever go right. So many lies boil down to disbelieving either God’s power or His love. I think we have a predisposition toward one other the other. I know mine is to forget His love but believe His power. The third lie here just forgets God altogether, leaving our situation and success fully on our shoulders. So what are some truth statements to combat these lies? Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” If we are believers, we are called according to His purpose, and this promise of good applies to us. What is good, you might ask? Our ultimate good comes when we completely trust God and rely on Him for every physical, emotional, and spiritual need we have, all while fulfilling His specific role for us on this earth. In order to get there, we have to lose trust in any other earthly thing, which is why the verse does not promise that God makes everything easy or fun for us, only good. Colossians 1:16 “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.” The same power that created everything that exists is working in your life to bring about your best good and His glory. If it happened, it wasn’t because it was an accident or outside His control. Ephesians 2:4-10 “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” God loves us so much that He not only took the penalty for our sins upon Himself, He also seated us with Himself in Heaven and plans to spend the rest of eternity showing us His grace and kindness. Not only that, while we are still on earth, He has designed a specific set of tasks for us to do on His behalf of the earth. That’s incredible love. The next time you are disappointed, hit the reset button. Evaluate whether the thing you were expecting or hoping for is something God wants  for you or if it’s really a desire for something sinful. If it seems like something God would want for you and you can’t understand why He would withhold it from you, remind yourself that He knows you, loves you, has a plan for you, and has a good reason for not letting you have or do that thing. It’ll all work out for your good in the end, and you’ll be happier in Him because of it. Thanks for joining me today. If you ever want to let me know what you think of the podcast or have suggestions, you can write to me using the contact page on my website or via facebook at facebook.com/storiesbyHR.

Identity in Christ vs Interpersonal Conflict We've all experienced it: they're wrong, and I'm right. But what if we're not seeing reality for what it is? What if we're really not right? How does finding our identity in Christ allow us to step back and evaluate the best answer to any given conflict, without being afraid of what the outcome will do to our personal worth? Show Notes: If you’re reading this, you’ve experienced interpersonal conflict. It could have been with your parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, kids, or others, but in all likelihood, it’s been with as many of those as you’ve had a relationship with. Basic conflict is part of interacting with other people. Why? Because every person is unique in their combination of experiences, beliefs, personality, and upbringing, which means we all are coming at the world from a unique perspective. We think different things are important and have different solutions to problems. This leads to disagreements about how to do the laundry, market the product, built the church, raise the kids, and load the dishes into the dishwasher. The best way to handle this conflict is to ask thoughtful questions of the other person/people to see why they think their way is best, express why you feel the same way about your idea, and then take the idea or parts of all ideas that are best and form a solution everyone agrees on. Easier said than done, I know. Why is this? I think there are two primary reasons: either someone is holding too tightly to their own idea or someone wants something they shouldn’t want. What do I mean by this? Let’s look at the second reason first. James 4:1-2 says, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.” The point James is making is two-fold. When we have unmet sinful desires, we are going to do whatever it takes, at whatever personal cost to others, to get what we want. Secondly, if we want wholesome and good things within God’s will for us, all we have to do is ask. So it could be that conflict you’ve experienced is because you or someone else wanted something sinful. Can knowing your identity help with this? Absolutely. The way that sin gets us is by whispering that we need something we aren’t supposed to have. When we believe that, we start opening doors of what we’re willing to do to get that thing. Maybe it’s not very far at first, but at the end of every hallway is another door. We always think that satisfaction lies on the other side of each door; we won’t have to go on beyond this one. But it’s never quite enough. There are a couple lies about God and His relationship with us behind this behavior. God does not have my best interest at heart. He has given me needs and then forbidden me from fulfilling them. God created good things and then put them off limits just to see me suffer. So what’s the truth that countermands these lies? James 1:17, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” Anything good in this world comes from God, and we’re not going to find something good by going around God. Jeremiah 17:5-8, “Thus says the Lord: ‘Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land. ‘Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.’” God is trustworthy, and when we trust Him, He takes care of us. Philippians 4:19, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Everything we truly need, God gives to us. Part of knowing who we are in Christ is resting in who He is and His sufficiency for us. He is enough, His plans for us are for our good, and anything He has not given us or put off-limits to us is also for our good. When we ignore Him and think that we know best, that is when we end up in the weeds. Joy and fulfillment are not found is what is off-limits but in God and His purpose for our lives. The second reason I said you could be having trouble resolving interpersonal conflict is that someone is holding too tightly to their own idea. What would cause this? The roots are in, you guessed it, identity. There are two kinds of people who do this: those who are overconfident and can’t be wrong, and those who are underconfident and trying to prove themselves. The first group can’t see anything from anyone else’s perspective because it’s pointless to do so, since everyone else is always wrong, and they’re always right. This is classic pride, the lie of which could be: I was created better than everyone else at (fill in the blank), therefore I have a higher value than everyone else, and everyone should listen to me. The second kind of person is one who undervalues themselves and feels that in order to be valuable, they have to be right and have their ideas accepted. The lie goes something like this: my value is determined by how well I contribute and how often people think I’m right. The truth for both kinds of people is the same but with a different twist: Our value is found in God placing His image upon us at creation and Jesus’ death for us on the cross. Nothing we do or don’t do can change that value. All humans bear the same value as image-bearers of God. No one of us is better or worse than any other, because we are all inherently sinful, and anything good in us is because of God’s righteousness. Philippians 2:3, “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Philippians 3:9, “And be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—” Which type of person are you more likely to be? It’s easy to see these traits in other people, but the point of learning more about God and discipleship is to change us. Can you think of a time when your sinful desires got in the way of a relationship and caused conflict? Can you think of a time when you couldn’t let go of thinking you were right because of pride or under-valuing yourself? How can you remind yourself of the truth so that it’s less likely to happen again?

Identity in Christ vs Personal Criticism When people criticize us, for whatever reason, it often feels like a personal attack. How do we take the truths of identity in Christ and combat that feeling so that we can take any truth from what they're saying and apply it to our lives, while not taking it personally? Show Notes: So far in this series, we’ve been talking through the basics of identity in Christ. Like we ought to do when trying to understand any theological concept, we started out big and general and are making our way down to the practical. There are a lot of ways that finding our identity in Christ impacts our lives for the better. One of those is personal criticism and attacks. Part of being human is both experiencing and dishing out hurtful words. I’m sure it doesn’t take much effort for you to remember a time when someone said something hurtful to you. As we looked at last week, the way to get something to stick in your mind is to connect with it both logically and emotionally. In most instances when we have verbally rocks thrown at us, the situation is emotionally charged and what the other person says has at least a grain of truth in it. That is why unkind words can be so difficult to dislodge from our minds and can play on repeat. When someone criticizes us, there are a lot of possibilities at play. First of all, they could be telling us something that we need to hear for our own good. We’ll call that feedback. Or they could be criticizing us with the intent to hurt us. A second set of possibilities is that either: what they’re saying is completely true, it’s somewhat true but blown out of proportion, or it’s false. Finally, this could be a planned critique or attack, or it could be in the heat of the moment. All of these possibilities are important to evaluate when we receive personal criticism, so that we can make an appropriate response. However, for most of us, when we are criticized in any way—with any of these options—our response is emotional and defensive. Why is this? In short, it’s because we think our value and worth as a person is under attack. If we’ve built our identity on the foundation that we are good at our jobs, skilled with people, or the best looking, it’s bound to fall over. All it takes is our boss telling us last week’s project was sub-par, being walked out on while on a first date, or someone pointing out that we’re going gray or have a pimple coming. Suddenly the world is falling apart around us, we feel like trash, and we can’t figure out why such a small thing is bothering us so much. We might tell ourselves to just get over it already, but we can’t seem to. So what do we do? First we have to find the lie we’re believing. It starts with, “My worth is defined by…,” but most of us can’t pin-point it quite that easily. We have to work backwards from the hurt to find the lie. Let’s say your date says, “I just can’t handle you. You know you’re not as funny as you think you are,” and walks away, and that strikes you to your core. The first question you have to ask is, “What is it about this that hurts?” Is it because she walked away, and pride yourself on always at least getting second dates? Is it because she insulted your jokes, and you like to think you can always entertain a room, regardless of who’s in it? This has probably put you right on top of the lie or very close to it. If you’re not quite there, ask yourself, “Are there any other situations that have made me feel like this?” What do they have in common? It could be something as simple as, “My worth is defined by how much people enjoy spending time with me.” I think we all believe this one at some point, whether we’re generally good with people or not. Those who have high social intelligence grow up with inflated egos about it, until they meet someone who doesn’t fall for their charm, and suddenly that’s the only thing they can think about. Those without good social skills grow up thinking they will never be worth anything until they can have real friends who are willing to stick with them. Whatever the lie is you’re believing, the next step is to counteract it with truth. It can be helpful to frame the truth in the same way the lie is framed. So if you’re believing that your worth is defined by how willing people are to spend time with you, the truth is that a) your value is defined by God, and b) God always wants to spend time with you (Matthew 28:20). Whenever you are feeling lonely, He is present, willing to listen, and will speak peace to your heart if you will let Him (Philippians 4:7, Isaiah 26:3). Other truths that can be helpful when it comes to personal criticism are: Everything God puts us through is designed to grow and shape us to be more like Him. We can trust the process, even when it hurts. (1 Peter 1:6-7, Romans 8:28) God’s love for us is not dependent on what we do but on what Christ did on the cross for us. He will never strike out at us for something we mess up. (John 3:36, 1 Thessalonians 5:9) God is not a fickle friend who comes and goes depending on whether we’re fun or not. He is with us regardless of our mood. (1 John 4:8, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7) God physically created us the way that we are for a reason, sees us as beautiful, and doesn’t make mistakes (Psalm 139:14, 1 Corinthians 3:16). When people criticize us, we have to be able to take the truth from what they said use it to make ourselves more like Christ. In order to do that, though, we have to be able to really hear what the other person is saying and not throw up defenses for ourselves. We can only do that if our value is fixed in Christ. If you have questions, comments, or suggestions for more topics, feel free to let me know! You can contact me via my website or on Facebook, if we’re friends. Next week we’re going to talk through how having your identity in Christ helps with interpersonal conflict. I hope you’ll join me then.

In our fallen world, it's not enough just to know the truth. We have to make sure that we are really believing and living according to it. To do that, we have to fight the lies that try to sneak into our minds. Show Notes: Living out our identity in Christ: How to Fight the Lies In episode 1, we defined identity and looked at some of the implications of finding our identity in anything other than who God says that we are. Last week, we defined identity in Christ and listed some of the things that God says about us. This week, we are going to take that information and hopefully make it more real. Before we can learn how to apply these truths, we need to know some things about human behavior and the way we operate. First of all, all negative behavior we do is because of a perceived unmet need. For example, a baby who’s pacifier falls on the floor might cry; a young child who is hungry might throw a tantrum; a teenager who doesn’t feel loved and accepted might act out for attention. Though the specific behaviors change with age and are somewhat dependent on personality, you can trace every sinful act you’ve ever done back to a need you thought wasn’t being met. The second thing is that all people live what they believe. They don’t always live what they say they believe, but the convictions and beliefs you have deep down are the ones that are going to come out through your actions. This can have good results and bad ones. If you believe that you are a failure, you won’t really put any effort into your work because you think it’s destined for nothing anyway. On the other hand, if you really grasp identity in Christ, you can live a joyful, free, purpose-filled life. Now when we put these two truths together—that everyone lives what they believe and that all sinful behavior is based on perceived unmet needs—we realize something. If we are acting out because we believe we have needs that aren’t being met, it isn’t enough just to muscle our way into changing the behavior. If we still believe there’s an unmet need, the behavior will be back. We can combine these two truths into one by saying, “All sinful behavior is based in lies we are believing, whether about God, ourselves, other people, or the world around us.” In order to change the behavior, we have to change the lie. To do that, we need the truth. So let’s back up a second and give an example. Imagine my friend and I are hanging out, and I say something off-hand that’s cruel. After the words are out of my mouth, I realize they were wrong, and I’m surprised I even said such a thing. What lie(s) am I believing? If I’m trying to bring her down, it’s a safe bet it’s because I’m trying to make myself look good. That means that on some level, I’m feeling insecure. Maybe she’s better at something than I am, and I wish it was the other way around. If I’m feeling insecure, that means one of the lies I’m believing is that my value is determined by what I do. The way to correct that lie is to remind myself of the truth that my value is fixed in Christ. He gave me value simply by creating me and then reiterated that value by dying for my sins on the cross. Nothing I or anyone else does can ever diminish that value. Now the trick here is that people are forgetful, and lies are sneaky. Because of sin, everything is moving from a state of order to a state of disorder. That’s the second law of thermodynamics, and it’s true of our minds as well. We can know and be living out the truth one day, but if we’re not careful, lies will sneak back in and supplant the truth. Suddenly we’ll find ourselves back in the same patterns of sinful behavior, living the same lies. So how in the world do we make sure we are living in the truth? There’s two things you should know that are helpful. First, you have to make an emotional connection with the truth before it will take hold and root out the lies. That’s why it’s not simply enough for me to say, “Your value is fixed in Christ. Because He died for you and is interceding on your behalf before the Father and placed the Holy Spirit inside you, your value can’t be changed.” You can mentally agree with me that it makes sense and is true without it actually changing your life. That’s because we are both logical and emotional beings. Truth has to connect with us on both levels before we truly believe it. How do we do that? Even though we all have moments of both, I think we lean more to one side of the equation or the other. We are either inclined to emotionally connect without logically understanding or to logically understand without emotionally connecting. The first leads to foundationless touchy-feelies and emotional rollercoasters. The second leads to legalism. If you fall in the first camp, you need to make an effort to understand what you believe to the point that you can articulate it back to another person. Never be content in how much you know about God and the Bible. If you fall in the second camp, you have to make sure that you are not learning for the sake of learning and never connecting truth to your own life. Emotional connection is made through personalization. That’s why good Bible study books ask thought-provoking questions about how the material applies to your life. So if you’re trying to connect with the truth about who you are in Christ, ask some questions of yourself. What is my identity in right now? That is, what do I think defines my value? What would make me feel purposeless and worthless if it were to disappear? Once you know the answer to those questions and have engaged your emotions, clearly identify the lie you’re believing and then tell yourself the truth until your emotions change and you feel the joy and peace that the truth brings. The second thing that is helpful in keeping the lies at bay is to do this over and over again. Every time you make both an emotional and logical connection with truth, it cements in a little more. Even so, never assume you’ve arrived or that lies won’t sneak back in. Be on the lookout for signal behaviors that tell you you’re back on the wrong track. Have friends who will tell you when old patterns are popping up again. I hope this episode has been helpful to you. Next week, we are going to talk about how having our identity in Christ can help us in the face of personal criticism and some of the lies and truths specifically related to that topic. I hope you’ll join me then.

The foundation of our identity is two-fold: who we are as humans and who we are in Christ. In this episode, we look at what it means to be image bearers of God and dive into some of the scriptures about what it means for us if we are believers. Show Notes: What is identity in Christ? Who does God say that I am? Last week we talked about what identity is and what it means to find your identity in something. We imagined identity as three tiers—things that don’t change on the bottom, then things that can but don’t often change, then things that routinely change on the top. I said the only things that belong on the bottom tier are what God says about us, and if we find our identity in and base our value on those things, it will have far-reaching impact on our lives. That brings us to an important question: What does God say about us? What are the specific things that should be in that bottom tier? There are two levels to this: one is things that are true about all human beings, the other is things that are true of believers. All humans have a consistent, unchangeable, intrinsic value, given to us by God. When God created humans in the Garden of Eden, He made us “in the image of God” (Genesis 1:26-27). This gives us a value that is higher than plants and animals, though they are also alive, and endows us with certain characteristics. Scholars disagree a little on what exactly these characteristics are, but here are a few top picks: an innate sense of morality (our conscience), the capacity for emotions, ability to form and need for meaningful relationships, self-awareness/self-direction, and creativity. When God made us, He took parts of His own nature and character and placed them inside us. Like our Creator, we know right from wrong, though our experience and culture can distort this. This innate sense of morality is why every culture throughout history has considered cold-blooded murder to be wrong. They sense the value of God’s image displayed in human beings. Like our Creator, we experience emotions, we can enjoy deep and personal relationships with others, and we have the capacity to make choices, rather than just following instincts. As our Creator has and continues to do, we also create. We imagine, design, and make things constantly. This is a reflection of our Creator and a big part of what it means to be human. Bearing the image of God is a major contributor to our value, but it is not the end. All humanity has this value, but we as believers have still more reasons to remember that we are valuable. Here are just a few of the things that God says are true about you and me as believers: You are God’s child, loved and planned for (1 John 3:1-2, John 1:12). You are the workmanship of God in Christ Jesus, made for doing good things that He has planned for you (Eph. 2:10) We are “a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for [God’s] possession,” made to tell others about how excellent God is (1 Peter 2:9). You are God’s temple, dwelling place of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 3:16). You are a new creation, no longer trapped as your old self (2 Cor. 5:17). You are more than a conqueror through the power of Christ, who loves you (Rom. 8:37). You are so loved that God the Son gave up His glorious place in Heaven to become human and die in your place, reconciling you to Himself through His death (John 3:16, Phil. 2:1-11, 2 Cor. 5:18). You are free from condemnation by God (Rom. 8:1). You are a citizen of Heaven (Phil. 3:20). You have been given the righteousness of Christ (2 Cor. 5:21). Your needs are planned for and will be taken care of (Phil. 4:19). You have been given a spirit of power, love, and self-control, rather than that of fear (2 Tim. 1:7). You are a member of the body of Christ (1 Cor. 12:27). You are not compelled to give into temptation but have a way to escape, through the power of Christ (1 Cor. 10:13). You are able to not live in conformation to this world and can be transformed through the renewing of your mind (Rom. 12:2). You can know what it is God wants you to do (Rom. 12:2). You are called to proclaim the gospel to the world (Mark 16:15). Your life has been planned for your good (Jer. 29:11). You can endure any circumstance God calls you to through the strength of Christ (Phil. 4:13). I could go on and on. The Bible is filled with truths about who we are in Christ. You could learn in a day the basic ideas of who God says you are and yet take the rest of your life to delve into the scripture, find all the individual statements and promises, and wrestle with what they mean in your everyday life. Next week we are going to dive into how to practically put these things in tier one and make sure we are living according to what is true instead of acknowledging truth but still living according to the lies.

What does it mean to "find your identity" in something? How does it impact us emotionally if that thing falls away? What does "Identity" even mean? These are the questions we will tackle in this week's podcast. Show Notes: What does it mean to find your identity in something? “Identity” is a word being throw around a lot lately, in both secular and Christian circles. But what does it mean, and how does it affect the way we think if we “find our identity” in something? Let’s start with a basic definition. Identity is how we distinguish one thing from another. As they say in Neature Walk, you can tell that something is what it is by the way that it is. You can identify a tree as a tree and not a car because of the characteristics. You can tell that a tree is a particular tree by its type, shape, DNA, and location. As humans, we have identifiers that are obvious to other people, like what we’re wearing, eating, who we’re with, etc. We also have identifiers that are harder to see: our DNA, personality, preferences, life experiences, and so on. Within those categories, there are things that do not change, and there are identifiers that do change. What I ate for dinner last week is part of my identity, but it’s not a consistent part. Because of the variety of identifiers, I’ve found it helpful to think of a person’s identity in three tiers, like a cake. The way God designed identity to work is that the bottom tier, the foundation, is the things that can’t change. On this level is all the things God says about you. The middle layer is things that can change but don’t often change. These include personality, strong preferences, and certain aspects of physical appearance. The top layer is the things that are constantly changing, such as what you’re wearing at the moment, how your hair looks, who you’re with, etc. All together, these things make up who we are, and each little thing can be used to tell us apart from others. All told, there’s no one else in the history of the world that’s just like us. Back to the cake analogy, the bottom layer is very important. That’s where we find our value. Remember I said when things are ordered the way God designed, the bottom layer only contains what God says about you. However, because of sin, we mess our cake up. We take things from off layer two or even three and stick them on the bottom layer. Here’s where we come to the original question: what does it mean to “find your identity” in something? Basically it means you’re basing your value on that thing and how true it is about you. We can base our value on things that are supposed to be on the bottom layer of the cake, or we can move things down that ought not to be there, things like popularity, looks, money, a good job, loving family, etc. It’s very important that we find our identity or base our value in first tier things, things that don’t change. If we don’t, we’re like the foolish man who built his house on the sand. The foundation for our worth has to be strong, otherwise, when it collapses, we will emotionally crash and burn. Most people find their identity in things that ought to be in the second tier: their job, talents, friends, financial stability, etc. Human beings are generally short-sighted. Because of this, we subconsciously think that these things are safe for our identity, that they won’t change. But accidents happen. People get fired, end up in car wrecks and lose talents, buy the wrong stock and find their life savings gone, etc. When you find your identity in something that is suddenly gone, your self-worth plummets, you feel purposeless, and you become terribly afraid of a lot of things. It is a very unpleasant experience, and it often precedes people coming to Christ because they realize that any other anchor for their identity is worthless. Finding your identity in the wrong things can have other negative consequences as well, even if that thing doesn’t totally disappear. For example, I might find my identity in my ability to sing. Now let’s say that I have a friend who one day tells me offhand that she’s not crazy about my singing; she doesn’t think it’s bad, but it’s just not her favorite. Suddenly my self-worth is under attack. I have two options: fight back or watch my worth go down in flames. If I fight back, my subconscious goal is to undermine the authority of her claim, which means I’m going to attack her character, ability to discern good music, etc. Now she’s on the defensive, and I’ve put our friendship on the rocks. Now I might want to fight back but have enough emotional intelligence not to attack my friend, so instead I’ll seek out other people who will fortify my identity by telling me how great my singing is, I’ll try to get better, and/or I’ll try to change my singing  somehow in an effort to change my friend’s mind. Even if the thing you are basing your worth on is completely stable and never changes, like a multi-million dollar inheritance that you take good care of, the fact that something could happen to it is enough to cause you stress and paranoia. Basically, finding your identity in something that is not rock solid is exhausting, stressful, and time-consuming. You may have been doing it for so long that you don’t even notice. However, if you manage to stop finding your identity in shifting things, I guarantee that you will notice a positive difference in your emotional health. What are the right things to base your identity on and how do you practically do that? Those are the topics for the next few episodes. I hope you’ll join me then.

Have you ever felt stuck in your Christian walk? Been doing everything you know to do but still feel like you've plateaued? Maybe I can help. More than Milk is designed to give you a better understanding of theology and how it practically relates to your everyday life. Learn about God, know God better, love God more.