Podcasts about stan steindl

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Best podcasts about stan steindl

Latest podcast episodes about stan steindl

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Stan says farewell to The Compassion Initiative Podcast, launching the Compassion in a T-Shirt podcast to complement his YouTube channel. Please follow at your favourite podcast platform! James pivots and The Compassion Initiative Podcast becomes the Compassionate Mind Research Group Podcast, a continued source of great content on the science and practice of compassion. This (never say never) episode: In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I welcome Associate Professor James Kirby, a leading figure in compassion research. James Kirby combines his extensive experience as a clinical psychologist and researcher to offer unique insights into the science and art of compassion. Drawing from his extensive research, as well as his recent book, Choose Compassion, James discusses a plethora of recent advances in the science of compassion, some of the most interesting findings in others' research as well as his own, considerations around men and compassion, and much more. We also discuss the transition that is underway from our podcast collaboration--The Compassion Initiative Podcast--and our move towards separate projects: my move to consolidating Compassion in a T-Shirt into a YouTube channel and podcast, and his move towards transforming our previous podcast into the Compassionate Mind Research Group Podcast. James is an Associate Professor in the School of Psychology at The University of Queensland and an Honorary Associate Professor at the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University. He co-directs the Compassionate Mind Research Group and is a recognised expert featured on radio, podcasts, articles, and television. Join us as we delve into the transformative power of compassion with someone who truly understands its depth and breadth. Don't miss this enlightening conversation with Associate Professor James Kirby! TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt: In Session LINKS: Compassionate Mind Research Group https://psychology.uq.edu.au/research/labs-groups/compassionate-mind Choose Compassion: Why it matters and how it works (Kirby, 2022) https://www.amazon.com.au/Choose-Compassion-Why-matters-works-ebook/dp/B0BCN23FYK Essentials of Compassion Focused Therapy: A Practice Manual for Clinicians (Petrocchi, Kirby, & Baldi, 2024) https://www.amazon.com.au/Essentials-Compassion-Focused-Therapy-Clinicians/dp/1032565543/ref=sr_1_1?crid=YSW9UKHAYMBZ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.RU_9sWZm2b8oigAxDB3V4vhTB8RqypOUgRrRKfCfDeA.GayPBtyiT-xUs88P1DBdn0O9dgFxz4ueWq9pb1nSL2U&dib_tag=se&keywords=compassion+focused+therapy+petrocchi&qid=1720864946&s=digital-text&sprefix=compassion+focused+therapy+petrocchi%2Cdigital-text%2C269&sr=1-1-catcorr Social rank and compassion: How insecure striving, social safeness and fears of compassion mediate the relationship between masculinity, depression and anxiety (Kirby, Day, & Gilbert, 2024) https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/papt.12520 If you would like to learn more about Compassion Focused Therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/TvNk9HttylM *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags compassion, compassion focused therapy, cft, paul gilbert, psychology, wellbeing, men, masculinity, compassion initiative podcast, compassion in a T-Shirt.

Well, hello anxiety with Dr Jodi Richardson
Becoming our own safe haven: With Dr Stan Steindl

Well, hello anxiety with Dr Jodi Richardson

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2024 47:35


It's common for us to be harder on ourselves than we would ever be on others. Our tone, our words and the kindness we show when someone else makes a mistake can sound very different to our self-talk when we mess up. Learning to be more compassionate towards ourselves and to being more open to receiving compassion from others is at the heart of this week's conversation with Dr Stan Steindl. Dr Steindl shares three different flows of compassion, what can stand in the way of us being open to receiving compassion from others, the components of compassion and how Compassion Focused Therapy helps us to notice our suffering and learn how we can help alleviate suffering in ourselves and others.  A clinical psychologist, Dr Stan Steindl is a leader in the science, practice and application of compassion. He's an Adjunct Professor at the University of Queensland (UQ), co-director of the UQ Compassionate Mind Research Group, author and founder of the YouTube channel, Compassion in a T-shirt.  https://www.youtube.com/@drstansteindl https://www.stansteindl.com/ https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl https://drstansteindl.substack.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ https://x.com/StanSteindl https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl ABOUT JODI: Jodi is a speaker, educator, and bestselling author specialising in anxiety and well-being. Learn more: https://drjodirichardson.com. Order Jodi's book, "Anxious Mums: How mums can turn their anxiety into strength": https://drjodirichardson.com/product/anxious-mums/ or https://amzn.to/2YtA3ks. CONNECT WITH JODI: Connect with Jodi on LinkedIn Follow Jodi on InstagramLike Jodi's Facebook page    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Dr Rebecca Poz is a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist working for the NHS and in private practice in the UK. She works across assessment, rehabilitation, psychotherapy and education, and has a particular interest in working with older adults, approaching the work through a compassion focused lens. Rebecca has contributed chapters and papers discussing using compassion focused therapy with older adults, including those experiencing dementia or cognitive decline. She is passionate about helping those in older age manage distress, reduce suffering and flourish. TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt LINKS: Compassion focused therapy for people with dementia: A feasibility study (Craig et al., 2018) https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/gps.4977 The Evaluation of a Compassion-Focused Therapy Group for Couples Experiencing a Dementia Diagnosis (Collins et al., 2018) https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/07317115.2017.1397830 Compassion-Focused Therapy for an Older Adult with Motor Functional Neurological Disorder: A Case Study (Zarotti et al., 2022) https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/07317115.2022.2130124 Facing degeneration with compassion on your side: using compassion focused therapy with people with a diagnosis of a dementia (book chapter, Poz, 2018) https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9780429466618-5/facing-degeneration-compassion-side-using-compassion-focused-therapy-people-diagnosis-dementia-rebecca-poz If you would like to learn more about Compassion Focused Therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/1UqcOdm5Ckw *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags Compassion, self-compassion, compassion focused therapy, older adults, aging, dementia, clinical psychology, geropsychology, flourishing, quality of life

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au
Eight skills to improve therapist effectiveness, with Prof Terri Moyers

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 29, 2024 62:29


Theresa B. Moyers, PhD, is Professor of Psychology at the University of New Mexico, where she conducts research on treatments for addictive behaviors, with a focus on motivational interviewing (MI). Her primary interests are identifying the active ingredients of MI as well optimal methods for disseminating it in addictions settings. Dr. Moyers has published more than 35 peer-reviewed articles and has presented on MI and addictions treatment in 16 countries. She is a member of the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers. In addition to her academic pursuits, she trains and competes with her border collie in the sport of dog agility. Her most recent book is with Prof Bill Miller, titled Effective Psychotherapists: Clinical Skills that Improve Client Outcomes. TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt: In Session LINKS: Terri's email: tmoyers@unm.edu Effective Psychotherapists: Clinical Skills that Improve Client Outcomes. (Miller and Moyers, 2021). https://www.amazon.com.au/Effective-Psychotherapists-Clinical-Improve-Outcomes/dp/1462545351 Depression Anxiety Stress Scale-10: A Brief Measure for Routine Psychotherapy Outcome and Progress Assessment (Halford and Frost, 2021). https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/behaviour-change/article/abs/depression-anxiety-stress-scale10-a-brief-measure-for-routine-psychotherapy-outcome-and-progress-assessment/2259B3A2EB360EE3BD007AAFCD73ED70 If you would like to learn more about Compassion Focused Therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/KRkilr1n3ek *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags motivational interviewing, effective psychotherapists, effectiveness, empathy, acceptance, genuineness, positive regard, focus, hope, evocation, advice and information, bill miller, MI paul gilbert, compassion, self-compassion, compassion focused therapy, cft

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au
Examining the effectiveness of compassion focused therapy, with Niki Petrocchi

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2024 100:53


Dr Nicola Petrocchi, psychologist and psychotherapist trained at APC-SPC, holds a doctorate in Psychology and Social Neurosciences at La Sapienza University and a visiting scholarship at Boston University where he carried out an experimental study on Loving Kindness Meditation with depressed patients under the supervision of Professor Stefan Hofman. After more than 8 years of collaboration and continuous training with Professor Paul Gilbert (creator of CFT), Niki founded Compassionate Mind Italia, the only Italian association recognised by the English foundation (Compassionate Mind UK) for the diffusion, research and training in Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT). Nicola is trainer and supervisor of CFT, translator and editor of Paul Gilbert's book Compassion Focused Therapy, Distinctive Features, and collaborator with Paul Gilbert in conducting training courses in Italy and England, and in numerous research projects investigating heart rate variability (HRV) as a physiological index of the activation of compassion. Niki is the author of numerous articles and chapters in the international arena and, together with James Kirby and Beatrice Baldi, author of the first CFT practice guide, Essentials of Compassion Focused Therapy: A Practice Manual for Clinicians (2023). Niki is also the lead author on a recent meta-analysis of compassion focused therapy randomised controlled trials, which is the topic of our conversation today! TIME STAMPS: 3:15 Dr Petrocchi's journey to compassion 24:54 A explainer of meta-analysis 38:02 The main findings: Effectiveness of CFT with negative outcomes, depression, self-criticism and compassion 47:21 Moderator effects for negative outcomes 1:06:00 Moderator effects for depression 1:12:38 Moderator effects for self-criticism 1:18:01 Moderator effects for compassion 1:27:58 Exploring heterogeneity and tests of significance TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt: In Session LINKS: The impact of compassion-focused therapy on positive and negative mental health outcomes: Results of a series of meta-analyses. (Petrocchi et al,, 2023) https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fcps0000193 Essentials of Compassion Focused Therapy: A Practice Manual for Clinicians (Petrocchi, Kirby, and Baldi, 2023) https://www.amazon.com.au/Essentials-Compassion-Focused-Therapy-Clinicians/dp/1032565543 The Current and Future Role of Heart Rate Variability for Assessing and Training Compassion (Kirby, Doty, Petrocchi, and Gilbert, 2017) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5340770/ If you would like to learn more about Compassion Focused Therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/_q2qaoTzGm8 *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags Compassion, self-compassion, depression, anxiety, psychological distress, psychological wellbeing, compassion focused therapy, cft, paul gilbert,

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au
Motivational Interviewing as a pathway to compassion and self-compassion, with Dr Michelle Drapkin

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 15, 2024 59:18


Michelle L. Drapkin, PhD, ABPP, is a clinical psychologist who owns and operates the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Center, and has worked in behavioral science for over twenty years. She held various roles as a behavioral scientist in industry, including leading the development and deployment of behavior change interventions at Johnson & Johnson. She held a national motivational interviewing (MI) training position at the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), and was on faculty at the University of Pennsylvania. Dr Drapkin completed her PhD in clinical psychology from Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey; and joined the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers (MINT) in 2008. She has trained thousands of health care professionals and industry leaders in MI. TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt: In Session LINKS: The Motivational Interviewing Path to Personal Change: The Essential Workbook for Creating the Life You Want (Drapkin, 2023). https://www.amazon.com.au/Motivational-Interviewing-Path-Personal-Change/dp/164848154X Cognitive-Behavior Therapy (CBT) Center https://cbtcenterofcentralnj.com/ Michelle Drapkin on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelledrapkin/ If you would like to learn more about Compassion Focused Therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/_P1yWBLAv98 *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags motivational interviewing, mi, compassion, self-compassion, compassion focused therapy, cft, bill miller, steven hayes, change, growth, self-criticism

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

London-based psychotherapist Graham Music works in private practice and with the NHS, and has worked at the Tavistock and Portman Clinics for over 15 years. He teaches and lectures on various courses in the UK and abroad, lectures internationally, and has published widely, in academic journals, and edited and sole-authored books. Here, we discuss his experiences at the Tavistock Clinic, his journey to becoming a psychotherapist, and two of his books, Nurturing Natures and Respark (links below). TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt: In Session LINKS: Graham Music's webpage https://nurturingnatures.co.uk/ Nurturing Natures: Attachment and Children's Emotional, Sociocultural and Brain Development (Fourth Edition, Graham Music, 2024) https://www.amazon.com.au/Nurturing-Natures-Attachment-Sociocultural-Development-dp-1032436271/dp/1032436271/ref=dp_ob_title_bk Respark: Igniting hope and joy after trauma and depression (Graham Music, 2022) https://www.amazon.com.au/Respark-Igniting-after-trauma-depression-ebook/dp/B09N42LBDF/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2W4OGKSNAMJ0G&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1I76n_xQUaFX-5rqCL2IHRvqwAMf4WWkdUeWG3nib0jGjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.qabVA265fe2oANr1Kypa77SLiAm_iqerI65IxV27L0k&dib_tag=se&keywords=music+respark&qid=1709506493&s=books&sprefix=music+respark%2Cstripbooks%2C261&sr=1-1 Affect and Emotion: A Brief Psychoanalytic Tour (Graham Music, 2022) https://www.amazon.com.au/Affect-Emotions-Brief-Psychoanalytic-Tour/dp/1739814746/ref=sr_1_7?crid=27322B68Z7VN3&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.puLYqF8_gKwhH8XCgQImfuh8rqIsHs2xiCwi0-lmZ6FqFO2GmKgVQ_P1gBqdHdFherbkxx6MJPAQxPgoa1n9cqsSb-D-yG8z-m2sjuxcFNu2Q_fc_BOYPyLbQcFt-46r23QdeP5A5wY9Joj09CyI0sI9bpby3eCJohRIv0j_S8o7iuocG7JZfRkVR2hR2pxZEgIM8vqL3bWLDBri-n3jiTjVeBdEHLlB6Q41gdDfGQo.-N5xvs_UkrWCLUyx5TA1F9ZdBqhNMNMSOtO5-Dep4xI&dib_tag=se&keywords=music+attachment+and+emotion&qid=1709506520&s=books&sprefix=music+attachment+and+emotion%2Cstripbooks%2C244&sr=1-7 If you would like to learn more about Compassion Focused Therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/lT_K1K1qaH8 *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags Respark, Nurturing Natures, Graham Music, humanistic, psychoanalytic, compassion, safeness, connection, Paul Gilbert, compassion focused therapy, mindfulness

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au
The simple yet profound question of self-compassion, with Dr Steve Hickman

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2024 49:02


Dr Steve Hickman is the former Executive Director of the non-profit Center for Mindful Self-Compassion, a Certified Mindful Self-Compassion teacher and trainer, and a Clinical Psychologist by training. He is also a Retired Associate Clinical Professor in the University of California at San Diego School of Medicine, as well as the Founding Director of the UC San Diego Center for Mindfulness. Here we chat about self-compassion and the Mindful Self-Compassion program, as well as self-compassion for men. TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt: In Session LINKS Self-compassion for Dummies by Dr Steve Hickman https://www.amazon.com.au/Self-Compassion-Dummies-Steven-Hickman/dp/1119796687 Dr Steve Hickman website https://www.drstevenhickman.com Center for Mindful Self-Compassion https://centerformsc.org If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Dr Kate Lucre is a Birmingham-based Compassion Focused Therapist and Supervisor specialising in the use of CFT for complex trauma, personality and relational difficulties for groups and individual. She has recently published a paper presenting 12-month outcome data on Compassion Focused Group Psychotherapy (CFGP) for people with personality disorder, and attachment and relational trauma and tragedy. TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt: In Session Lucre et al (2024). Compassion Focused Group Psychotherapy for attachment and relational trauma: Engaging people with a diagnosis of personality disorder. https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/papt.12518 Lucre and Clapton (2020). The Compassionate Kitbag: A creative and integrative approach to compassion-focused therapy. https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/papt.12291 Gilbert and Simos (2022). Compassion Focused Therapy: Clinical Practice and Applications. https://www.amazon.com.au/Compassion-Focused-Therapy-Clinical-Applications/dp/0367476908 If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/LANm0LlZ0Lc *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags Compassion, Self-Compassion, Trauma, attachment, relationships, group psychotherapy

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au
What's behind shame? An innocent wish to be loved, with Chris Germer

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 19, 2024 59:27


“A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.” Chris Germer, PhD is a clinical psychologist and lecturer on psychiatry (part-time) at Harvard Medical School. He co-developed the Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) program with Kristin Neff in 2010 and MSC has since been taught to over 250,000 people worldwide. They co-authored two books on MSC, The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook and Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program. Chris spends most of his time lecturing and leading workshops around the world on mindfulness and self-compassion. He is also the author of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion; he co-edited two influential volumes on therapy, Mindfulness and Psychotherapy, and Wisdom and Compassion in Psychotherapy; and he maintains a small online practice in Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA. TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt: In Session LINKS: Dr Chris Germer's webpage https://chrisgermer.com/ Center for Mindful Self-Compassion webpage https://centerformsc.org/ The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Path-Self-Compassion-Yourself-Destructive/dp/1593859759/ The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Self-Compassion-Workbook-Yourself-Strength/dp/1462526780/ Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program: A Guide for Professionals https://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Mindful-Self-Compassion-Program-Professionals/dp/1462538894/ If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/YvytOV9jd4o *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags Compassion, self-compassion, mindful self-compassion, chris germer, kristin neff, paul gilbert, compassion focused therapy, shame, self-criticism

The Mindful Men Podcast
117. Compassion Focussed Therapy with Dr Stan Steindl

The Mindful Men Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 18, 2024 45:55


Trigger warning: Mental Health   Welcome to Episode 117. Compassion Focussed Therapy with Dr Stan Steindl   When we think of compassion, most of us could probably say that we have compassion for others. We're able to recognise the suffering in others, and take steps to help alleviate that suffering.    But when it comes to self-compassion, we can sometimes let ourselves down. We can be self-critical, and get stuck in a loop of negative thought cycles that never seem to end. And for men… the thought of being self-compassionate can seem unnatural. But there is strength and courage and self-compassion; and this can be learned through Compassion Focussed Therapy (CFT).    Dr Stan Steindl joins me this week to explore CFT and how it can support men to become the best version of themselves. Stan is a Clinical psychologist in private practice at Psychology Consultants Pty Ltd, and an adjunct professor at the university of Queensland School of Psychology. He is also a TedX speaker, and host of Compassion in a T-Shirt. In the full episode Stan shares:  What compassion is and why it is important How he defines trauma and suffering  Why men avoid self-compassion What Compassion Focussed Therapy (CFT) is  Supporting men to increase their self-compassion 4 little steps to start practicing self-compassion   Key quotes   "Compassion is a sensitivity to suffering in self and others with a commitment to try and alleviate and prevent it”   "Often self-compassion is the tougher choice in the service of health and wellbeing”   “Often men can baulk at the idea of self-compassion because they think its self-pity"   Connect with Stan: Website: www.stansteindl.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCujCvGkc_TFF7KmA0Sk4E7A Private Practice: www.psychologyconsultants.com.au    Connect with Mindful Men Website at www.mindful-men.com.au Community Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2050441875316594 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindful.men.aus Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindful.men.aus/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/simon-rinne-246207247/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mindful.men.aus Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbXBNQmbj4ZQj3rzFAZALTA   ***If anything triggers you from today's episode, please reach out to your support networks or seek professional help***   Stay Mindful, Simon --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/mindfulmen/message

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au
Compassion-based approaches to working with grief, with Darcy Harris

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 12, 2024 54:36


Professor Darcy L Harris currently works at Kings University College/Western University in the Department of Thanatology. Darcy does research in Grief, Bereavement, Non-Death Loss and Grief, and Compassion-based approaches in care settings. She has written and taught extensively in the field, and is doing some wonderful initiatives to integrate grief work with compassion focused therapy. TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt: In Session LINKS: Compassion-based Approaches in Grief and Loss https://www.amazon.com.au/Compassion-Based-Approaches-Grief-Darcy-Harris/dp/1032068345 Darcy Harris's range of books on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Books-Darcy-L-Harris/s?rh=n%3A283155%2Cp_27%3ADarcy+L.+Harris Recent article: An Exploration of Compassion Focused Therapy for Grieving Individuals https://www.lidsen.com/journals/icm/icm-08-04-052 Dr Darcy Harris at ResearchGate: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Darcy-Harris-2 If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/oH2OwHLZ2Us *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags grief, loss, compassion, compassion focused therapy, grief counselling, bereavement

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Dr Ruth Ann Harpur is a Clinical Psychologist specialising in relationships and issues of narcissism, and helping people and couples to develop compassionate, strong relationships with themselves and each other. She is passionate about how important relationships are in how we navigate the demands and challenges of life, with people often repeating familiar patterns in relationships that may not serve their needs and in ways that seem confusing to us and the people around us. Ruth Ann has a popular YouTube channel that explores these issues, with a particular focus on narcissism, and the effect narcissism can have on a person's life and relationships. TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt: In Session LINKS: Ruth Ann's website https://www.ruthannharpur.co.uk/about Ruth Ann's YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/@drruthannharpur If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/IRruUjbcFHg *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags Compassion, self-compassion, narcissism, relationships, personality disorder, schema therapy, compassion focused therapy, Paul Gilbert

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au
Response to Chris Williamson's "toxic compassion" and the role of emotions in compassionate action.

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 16, 2024 17:45


I have been trying out other podcasts lately, just to get a range of inputs into my thinking, and recently listened to Chris Williamson's Modern Wisdom podcast, Episode #723 — 15 Lessons from 2023. In that episode, he described how pleased he was to have come up with the concept “toxic compassion”. According to Williamson, “Toxic compassion is the prioritisation of short term emotional comfort over everything else, over truth, reality, actual long term outcomes, flourishing, everything. It optimises for looking good, rather than doing good.” Today, we're going to delve into the role emotions play in compassion and their profound impact on compassionate decision making and action. There is an intricate and delicate dance between our feelings and the choices we make. And sometimes, believe it or not, our apparent compassion can do more harm than good. But there's a lot of nuance to this, so, let's get started! TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt LINKS: Chris Williamson's Modern Wisdom podcast Episode #723 — 15 Lessons from 2023. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDUhSjjUvKI Seligman et al. (2017). Dental anxiety: An understudied problem in youth. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2017.04.004 Penney and Kirk (2015). The Health at Every Size Paradigm and Obesity: Missing Empirical Evidence May Help Push the Reframing Obesity Debate Forward. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4386524/ Professor Jonathan Haidt's website https://jonathanhaidt.com/ Twenge et al. (2022). Specification curve analysis shows that social media use is linked to poor mental health, especially among girls https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0001691822000270 If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/-YhG-ft1q5E *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags Chris Williamson, toxic compassion, jordan peterson, compassion, wisdom, strength, courage, commitment, empathy, sympathy, emotions

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au
Humans Suck: And That's Why We Need to Practice Compassion and Self-Compassion!

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 9, 2024 10:55


Today's video is going to be a bit provocative, with a title that might catch you off guard: "Humans Suck!" But don't worry, it's not all doom and gloom. In fact, we're going to explore the fascinating world of compassion focused therapy, developed by Professor Paul Gilbert. So buckle up, hit that like button if you enjoy this video, and let's dive into why humans suck and how practicing compassion and self-compassion can change the game. TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt LINKS: If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 TWEET THIS VIDEO: [ INSERT CLICK TO TWEET LINK ] Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/n_CetYOGKLs *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags Compassion, Self-Compassion, Paul Gilbert, compassion focused therapy, CFT, compassionate mind training, cmt

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Compassion is a reality, but at different levels. If we apply some of Aristotle's theory of reality to compassion, then we start to understand actual and potential compassion. Let's dive into what this might all mean, with some practical tips to integrate notions of actual and potential compassion into your life...with a pinch of compassion focused therapy theory mixed in. TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt LINKS: Alex O'Connors Within Reason Podcast - Aristotle's Argument for God with Edward Feser https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfQldsGrMfk&t=3717s If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/WbfViKnWYFI *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags Aristotle, compassion, self-compassion, compassion focused therapy, cft, compassionate mind training, cmt, actual, potential, reality

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

The way we think about the definition of "compassion" is evolving! It's still about alleviating and preventing suffering, but the definition has widened to include flourishing. Watch how living a more compassionate and self-compassionate life can lead to greater flourishing! If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/CxNO94-glSQ *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags compassion, self-compassion, flourishing, self-criticism, rumination

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Colleen Marshall, LMFT, is Vice President of Clinical Care at Two Chairs, an organisation "building a world where everyone has access to exceptional mental health care." They provide therapy in-person and virtually in California, Florida, and Washington State, USA. Colleen is also a longstanding member of the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers (MINT), having served leadership roles as part of this organisation as well as providing Training New Trainers training for several years. Colleen is passionate about effective leadership, uses motivational interviewing to enhance leadership skills, and brings compassion to leadership and organisations. TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt: In Session LINKS: Two Chairs: https://www.twochairs.com/ Colleen's book (with Anette Sogaard Nielsen): https://www.amazon.com.au/Motivational-Interviewing-Leaders-Helping-Professions/dp/1462543812/ref=sr_1_1?crid=398JTDGNB1V87&keywords=mi+in+leadership+marshall&qid=1702114131&s=books&sprefix=mi+in+leadership+marshall%2Cstripbooks%2C232&sr=1-1 If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/5FjGuym8xAo *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags Compassion, leadership, motivational interviewing, self-criticism, feedback

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Dr Courtney Walton is an Academic Fellow within the Melbourne School of Psychological Sciences. He is also a registered psychologist. Courtney's research aims are to understand the aspects of high performance and competitive environments that both positively and negatively interact with mental health. His research primarily focuses on athletes and performance artists, and he has a particular interest in the roles of self-criticism and self-compassion. He is also a speaker, trainer, supervisor and therapist. You can find Courtney's contact details here: https://findanexpert.unimelb.edu.au/profile/873594-courtney-walton TARGETED PLAYLIST LINK: Compassion in a T-Shirt LINKS: Courtney's compassion papers: Walton CC, Osborne M, Gilbert P, Kirby K (2022). Nurturing self-compassionate performers. Australian Psychologist, 57(2), 77-85. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00050067.2022.2033952 Walton CC, Lewis KJ, Kirby J, Purcell R, Rice S, & Osborne M (2022). Self-compassionate motivation and athlete well-being: The critical role of distress tolerance. Journal of Clinical Sport Psychology. https://journals.humankinetics.com/view/journals/jcsp/aop/article-10.1123-jcsp.2022-0009/article-10.1123-jcsp.2022-0009.xml Walton CC, Baranoff J, Gilbert P, Kirby J (2020). Self-compassion, social rank, and psychological distress in athletes of varying competitive levels. Psychology of Sport & Exercise, 50, 101733. https://osf.io/preprints/psyarxiv/j72q4/ Athlete MH paper with rates: Walton CC, Rice S, Gao CX, Butterworth M, Clements M, Purcell R (2021). Gender differences in mental health symptoms and risk factors in Australian elite athletes. BMJ Open Sport & Exercise Medicine, 7(1), e000984. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33754081/ If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/d4v4QQA22j8 *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags Compassion, Self-compassion, Athletes, Sports, Elite, Performance

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

On 28 July 2023, James Kirby was in conversation with Stan Steindl at Harry Hartog Bookseller, Carindale Shopping Centre, to discuss James's book Choose Compassion. It was a lovely evening with a great discussion, James sharing his wit and wisdom with a lively audience. We recorded the conversation on a phone, but the audio is surprisingly good! Have a listen and let us know your thoughts and reflections, your favourite bits, and any questions you might have!

Underground Antics with Shane Pokroy
Ep. #89 Compassion Focused Therapy for Depression and Anxiety w/ Dr Stan Steindl

Underground Antics with Shane Pokroy

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2023 71:04


Dr. Stan Steindl is a Clinical Psychologist in private practice at Psychology Consultants Pty Ltd and an Adjunct Associate Professor at the School of Psychology, University of Queensland, Brisbane, Australia. He is also co-director of the UQ Compassionate Mind Research Group. Stan's research interests are in the areas of motivation, behaviour change, compassion and compassion-based interventions, and especially the role of cultivating compassion and self-compassion in the context of trauma, shame, self-criticism and clinical disorders, as well as promoting psychological well-being. In this episode, Stan and Shane discuss how Compassion-Focused Therapy conceptualizes and works with anxiety and depression. The discussion begins with an overview of the central theory and tenets of CFT and then progresses to a conversation about the three emotional regulation systems.  If there is an imbalance between these three emotional regulation systems, mental distress and suffering can arise. People who are highly self-critical and self-shaming may not have had enough stimulation of the soothing system or too much activation of the threat system. This imbalance may lead people to find it difficult to feel and express kindness towards themselves. They may be highly sensitive to criticism or rejection, whether real or perceived and internalize that disapproval. The goal of CFT is to correct this imbalance in the emotion regulation systems. Check Out Stan's YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCujCvGkc_TFF7KmA0Sk4E7A  Get a copy of Stan's latest book, The Gifts of Compassion: How to Understand and Overcome  Suffering, https://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=The+Gifts+of+Compassion%3A+How+to+understand+and+overcome+suffering&qid=1659468355&sr=8-1  More of Stan: 

Don't Quit on Me
Dr Stan Steindl - On Being Kind To Yourself

Don't Quit on Me

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2022 54:53


Dr Stan Steindl is a Clinical Psychologist in private practice at Psychology Consultants Pty Ltd, and an Adjunct Associate Professor at School of Psychology, University of Queensland, Brisbane, Australia. He is also co-director of the UQ Compassionate Mind Research Group, and convenor of the annual UQ Compassion Symposium. Stan has over 25 years experience as a therapist, supervisor, trainer and researcher, and works with clients from motivational interviewing and compassion focused therapy perspectives. His PhD examined combat-related posttraumatic stress disorder and comorbid alcohol dependency, and he continues to work clinically in the areas of trauma and addiction, as well as having a general clinical practice. Stan's research interests are in the areas of motivation, behaviour change, compassion and compassion-based interventions, and especially the role of cultivating compassion and self-compassion in the context of trauma, shame, self-criticism and clinical disorders, as well as promoting psychological well-being. He is the author of three books and several book chapters and research publications. His books include: Compassion in a T-Shirt: The First 35 Scripts (2020), The Gifts of Compassion: How to Understand and Overcome Suffering (2020), and The Gifts of Compassion: Personal Practice Workbook (2021). The Gifts of Compassion: https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Compassion-understand-overcome-suffering/dp/1925644480 Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter: @StanSteindl Instagram: dr_stan_steindl LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCujCvGkc_TFF7KmA0Sk4E7A Private Practice Website: https://psychologyconsultants.com.au/ Professor Paul Gilbert and the Compassionate Mind Foundation: https://www.compassionatemind.co.uk/ Twitter Close Support the show

Sidewalk Talk
The 3 Flows of Compassion with Dr. Stan Steindl

Sidewalk Talk

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2022 46:35


Dr. Stan Steindl brings a fresh take to compassion in this week's Sidewalk Talk conversation. Stan's a clinical psychologist with over 20 years experience as a therapist, trainer and researcher, and he's also an adjunct associate professor at the School of Psychology at the University of Queensland, Australia. Last year, Stan published his first book: The Gifts of Compassion. Stan and Traci explore the 3 flows of compassion, bringing a new light to a timeless topic. If you've ever been curious about what compassion truly is, how to cultivate more of it in your life, and why it can be so damn tricky to receive… Stan brings some fascinating ideas and practical ways of incorporating compassion into your daily life. Connect: Find | Sidewalk Talk  At sidewalk-talk.org On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg   Find | Traci Ruble At Traciruble.com On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT   Find | Dr Stan Steindl  At www.stansteindl.com/ On Youtube  On Instagram: @dr_stan_steindl   SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST On Apple Podcasts On Google Podcasts On Spotify On YouTube

Underground Antics with Shane Pokroy
Ep. #72 The Power of Compassion w/ Dr Stan Steindl

Underground Antics with Shane Pokroy

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2022 64:13


Dr. Stan Steindl is a Clinical Psychologist in private practice at Psychology Consultants Pty Ltd and an Adjunct Associate Professor at the School of Psychology, University of Queensland, Brisbane, Australia. He is also co-director of the UQ Compassionate Mind Research Group. Stan's research interests are in the areas of motivation, behaviour change, compassion and compassion-based interventions, and especially the role of cultivating compassion and self-compassion in the context of trauma, shame, self-criticism and clinical disorders, as well as promoting psychological well-being. In this episode, Stan and I discuss the healing and transformative power of compassion. We discuss cultivating a compassionate mind and working towards living a more balanced, kind, and peaceful life. According to the Compassion-Focused Therapy psychological model, humans have at least three emotional regulation systems. (1) A threat and self-protection system that, when activated, manifests emotionally in the form of anger, disgust, fear, anxiety, and shame. (2) A drive and excitement system that motivates people to find and acquire food, mates, resources and status. (3) A soothing and social-safety system which regulates our feelings of contentment, peacefulness, and safety.  If there is an imbalance between these three emotional regulation systems, mental distress and suffering can arise. People who are highly self-critical and self-shaming may not have had enough stimulation of the soothing system or too much activation of the threat system. This imbalance may lead people to find it difficult to feel and express kindness towards themselves. They may be highly sensitive to criticism or rejection, whether real or perceived and internalize that disapproval. The goal of CFT is to correct this imbalance in the emotion regulation systems.   Check Out Stan's YouTube Channel    Get a copy of Stan's latest book, The Gifts of Compassion: How to Understand and Overcome Suffering   More of Stan: 

Therapists Rising Podcast
9. How Self Compassion Can Support You on Your Journey to Expanding Your Career and Impact with Dr. Stan Steindl

Therapists Rising Podcast

Play Episode Play 50 sec Highlight Listen Later May 31, 2022 52:48


Bravery is infectious, and once you find other people who are thinking outside of the box, it's so much easier for you to branch out in your therapy career too.The theme of this week is discovering your passion and finding a tribe of like-minded people who can help you on your path to expanding your career and impact. Joining me is clinical psychologist Dr. Stan Steindl, who has a wealth of wisdom to share from his vast experience in the field of psychology.  For more from Dr. Stan Steindl, be sure to visit his website psychologyconsultants.com.au 

PROTECT | Suicide Prevention Training Podcast
G2 | Dr Stan Steindl on Navigating Suicidal Ambivalence Using Motivational Interviewing

PROTECT | Suicide Prevention Training Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2022 68:15


Dr Stan Steindl is an Australian clinical psychologist with over 20 years experience as a therapist, trainer and researcher. He is has an active clinical practice and is passionate about motivational interviewing (MI) and compassion focused therapy (CFT). And he teaches and presents on these topics around the world!Stan shares some deep insights about Motivational Interviewing and how it can be used to navigate the delicate ambivalence that exists in the mind of a person in suicidal distress, the fight between reasons for living and reasons for dying. Stan talks about advanced listening and how some of the core MI skills of Open Questions, Affirmations, Reflections and Summaries can be used evoke change talk. You can learn more about Stan at Clinical Psychologist | Dr Stan Steindl

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

The COVID-19 pandemic has been really dragging on. And everyone is feeling it. There is an ever-present sense of threat and foreboding. in this video, Dr Stan Steindl summarises some recent research exploring the relationships between our perceived threat of COVID-19 and our mental health and social safeness outcomes...as well as the role fears of compassion might play in those relationships. And, of course, fears of compassion play a very important role indeed. If you would like to access the paper described in the video, titled "Fears of compassion magnify the harmful effects of threat of COVID-19 on mental health and social safeness across 21 countries", you can find a link to the abstract here: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/cpp.2601

Pause Purpose Play
Compassion and Motivation for Change, with Stan Steindl

Pause Purpose Play

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2021 54:29


Have you tried to change an unhelpful habit or behaviour, and got stuck? Perhaps you WANT to change and DON'T WANT to change it at the same time, feeling ambivalent and resistant to do something about this problem. Then you beat yourself up for it.  In this episode, I speak to Dr Stan Steindl about compassion and motivation for change.  Dr Stan Steindl is a Clinical Psychologist in private practice at Psychology Consultants Pty Ltd, and an Adjunct Associate Professor at School of Psychology, University of Queensland, Brisbane, Australia. He is also co-director of the UQ Compassionate Mind Research Group. He is the author of three books: Compassion in a T-Shirt (2020), The Gifts of Compassion: How to Understand and Overcome Suffering (2020), and The Gifts of Compassion: Personal Practice Workbook (2021).  We cover: Compassion to others, and to self Motivational Interviewing (MI) and Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) Ambivalence about changing behaviour Arguments for/against changing Supporting autonomy to make a choice Fears, blocks, resistances to compassion Changing alcohol habits with Compassion Focused Therapy Rolling with resistance, “yes...but” Self-determination theory, not liking being told what to do Being helpful, not harmful, to self and others The strength and courage of compassion to do hard things Giving up self-criticism to self-compassion Short-term gain, long-term pain Threat system - fight/flight Soothing system - calm and controlled Setting compassionate intention   Find Stan at www.stansteindl.com   Order my book, The Lasting Connection, here To spend 90 days to develop love and compassion for yourself, join the online course, The Compassionate Couple, here Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media  

Only Trying to Help
Only Trying to Help, Episode 52

Only Trying to Help

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2021 47:46


The Power of Compassion with Stan Steindl

power compassion stan steindl
People Soup - psychology@work
Dr Stan Steindl - Part 2

People Soup - psychology@work

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2021 35:03


Season 4 Episode 4 P _Soupers – thanks for tuning in – this week it’s part two of my chat with Dr. Stan Steindl, clinical psychologist, author, expert in Motivational Interviewing and Compassion Focussed Therapy and Youtube influencer. We cover loads in our chat – you can hear my review of Stan's book, 'The Gifts of Compassion - how to understand and overcome suffering'. We go on to talk about the development of the compassionate other, the fears, block and resistances to compassion and how we can use these to guide our approaches in introducing compassion to organisations. We finish with a brilliant takeaway from Stan, where he introduces a metaphor for all of us in the development of our own compassionate approach. Shownotes at http://www.rossmcintosh.co.uk/2021/05/dr-stan-steindl-part-2.html Connect with Ross and the Show Twitter https://twitter.com/PeopleSoupPod https://twitter.com/RossMcCOACH Instagram https://www.instagram.com/people.soup/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/peoplesouppod/ LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/ross-mcintosh-261a2a22/ Linktree - for links to many other podcast platforms and apps - linktr.ee/PeopleSoup And you can support the podcast by buying me a coffee! https://ko-fi.com/peoplesoup

People Soup - psychology@work
Dr Stan Steindl - Part 1

People Soup - psychology@work

Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2021 38:21


Season 4 Episode 3 P _Soupers – thanks for tuning in –this week it’s part one of my chat with Dr. Stan Steindl. Stan is based in Brisbane, Australia, he's a clinical psychologist, author, an expert in Motivational Interviewing and Compassion Focussed Therapy as well as being a Youtube influencer. In part 1 we get to know Stan. You can hear about the evolution of his career, his research, his love of Motivational Interviewing and Compassion Focussed Therapy – and how he combines them in his work. You can also hear him reflect on the evolution of his motivation to help others and he selects a song that sends shivers up his spine. Shownotes at - www.rossmcintosh.co.uk Here's a link to Stan's social media - https://linktr.ee/dr_stan_steindl Connect with Ross and the show Twitter https://twitter.com/PeopleSoupPod https://twitter.com/RossMcCOACH Instagram https://www.instagram.com/people.soup/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/peoplesouppod/ LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/ross-mcintosh-261a2a22/ Linktree - for links to many other podcast platforms and apps - linktr.ee/PeopleSoup And you can support the podcast by buying me a coffee! https://ko-fi.com/peoplesoup

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

After the assessment, case formulation and treatment planning of Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), the CFT therapist often moves onto introducing compassion, the definition of compassion from the CFT perspective, and the multidimensional model of the compassionate mind. In this video, Dr Stan Steindl introduces these concepts, the CFT definition of compassion, and the attributes and skills of the compassionate mind, all of which become the basis of CFT treatment.

compassionate cft compassion focused therapy cft stan steindl
The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

While compassion focused therapy, or CFT, is concerned with psychoeducation and skills building, an essential aspect to it is the therapeutic relationship. It's so important for the CFT therapist to listen well, and create a relationship where the person they'e working with feels heard and understood, and feels safe. Certain key listening skills help to facilitate guided discovery, helping people feel safe enough to explore and understand themselves, the way their minds, and the minds of others, work, and to start to relate to themselves and others in a way that's motivated by compassion. Guided discovery is at the heart of CFT. In this video, Dr Stan Steindl discusses some of the finer points of the therapeutic relationship in CFT, and the listening skills that can really help with that. The original YouTube video can be found here: https://youtu.be/RLXy0GDjGYE

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

In this video, Dr Stan Steindl explores how to construct a CFT case formulation, incorporating historical influences, key fears, safety strategies and defensive behaviours, unintended consequences and relating to self and others. An important part of CFT is to collaboratively create a case formulation with the person they are working with to develop mind awareness and understanding, and to help de-blame and de-shame right from the start. The original video can be found here https://youtu.be/Sw_2yeNsfVU

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

In this video, Dr Stan Steindl discusses CFT assessments and offers tips regarding three things the CFT therapist keeps in mind while having that first assessment conversation with the person they are working with, as well as some suggested questionnaires the CFT therapist might use to inform their case formulation. The original video can be found here: https://youtu.be/gEYHY1ErnNY

cft stan steindl
The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

In the last video from Compassion in a T-Shirt, Dr Stan Steindl discussed What is Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)? In this video, he explores this question further by outlining an example session-by-session CFT therapy plan, divided into four phases and 12 sessions. The original video on YouTube can be found here: https://youtu.be/JA-jYu9YDOU

therapy compassion t shirts cft compassion focused therapy cft stan steindl
The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Compassion-based interventions have been found to be very effective in enhancing compassion, self-compassion and mindfulness, reducing depression, anxiety and psychological distress, and increasing wellbeing. One such approach is compassion focused therapy (CFT). In this video, Dr Stan Steindl will briefly describe CFT, its origins and theories, as well as some of the practical components that CFT can involve. The original video can be found here: https://youtu.be/eKwNGIFffcU

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Having explored the semantics of Compassion Versus Kindness, and Compassion as a Form of Kindness, Dr Stan Steindl returns to a more practical focus in this video, discussing kind and compassionate well-wishes. The foundations of these well-wishes are "May you be happy" (sending kind wishes) and "May you be free from suffering" (sending compassionate wishes). But we can create whatever kind and compassionate well-wishes we feel are most pertinent and relevant, especially when we send them to a loved one, and to ourselves, when we are experiencing some sort of trouble. The original video can be found here: https://youtu.be/RynTYY9B1yg

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

In a previous video, Dr Stan Steindl discussed Compassion Versus Kindness, how they are defined and how they are different. This video goes further, suggesting that perhaps kindness, referring to actions intended to benefit others, is the overarching construct while compassion is simply a form of kindness in the context of suffering.

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

The words compassion and kindness are sometimes used interchangeably. But are they really the same thing? In this video, Dr Stan Steindl will reflect on compassion versus kindness, the definitions of each, as well as a recent study that has explored the differences in semantics of the words "compassion" and "kindness". It seems that not only are the definitions different, but that people can generally distinguish the two when judging various examples of prosocial scenarios. There can certainly be kindness without suffering or compassion, but can there ever be compassion without kindness? Please write your comments below! And the original video can be found here: https://youtu.be/DcipzyOzqFc

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au
Creating Your Ideal Compassionate Other (or The Compassionate Friend - Part 3)

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2020 8:20


This video follows on from the previous two videos about The Compassionate Friend. However, here, Dr Stan Steindl discusses creating the "ideal compassionate other." This involves imagining an ideal being, without human weaknesses or flaws, who is exactly the kind of compassionate other that we want and would feel most helpful. If you would like to write your thoughts and ideas down on the "Creating Your Ideal Compassionate Other" handout mentioned in the video, go to the link below to download the PDF. And if you would like to watch the original video, you can find it here: https://youtu.be/TKdb_1IcC5s Creating Your Ideal Compassionate Other Handout: https://psychologyconsultants-my.sharepoint.com/:b:/g/personal/stan_psychologyconsultants_com_au/Ebm1vW2kVp5AhMiSTC9Ypy0BJqViUIMIOr7xLWwnsmAJXQ?e=vO7VeN

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

The Compassionate Friend Exercise is a powerful practice during times of discomfort, distress or suffering, and involves bringing to mind the image of a compassionate person or other living being, and finding solace and support from them. In this video, Dr Stan Steindl briefly describes creating a compassionate friend as well as his own experience with this exercise, using music to further illustrate the ideas. The next video, The Compassionate Friend - Part 2, will be a chance to try the Compassionate Friend Exercise for yourself! The original video of this podcast can be found here: https://youtu.be/ghlS_zrfYfQ

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au
Shame Or Guilt? Different emotional states with different motivations.

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2020 8:25


Shame is often place side-by-side with guilt, as if the two are the same or come as a pair: “shame and guilt.” However they are very different emotions, arising from very different emotion systems, with very different motivations. In this video, Dr Stan Steindl explores the differences, shame having a threat protection motivation arising from the threat system, and guilt having a caring motivation arising from the soothing-affiliative system. Important from the perspective of the compassionate mind, with differentiating shame from guilt helpful for finding the most effective ways to work with each of them. To see the original video, please go to the link here: https://youtu.be/ClAT6R5cdos

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au
An Evolutionary And Biopsychosocial Model Of Shame (and Shame Memories)

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2020 9:08


In this video, Dr Stan Steindl presents a brief "explainer" of Professor Paul Gilbert's evolutionary and biopsychosocial model of shame, as well as recent elaborations of the model incorporating the role of shame memories, to be described in a forthcoming chapter titled Shame Memories that Shape Who We Are by Matos, Steindl, Gilbert and Pinto-Gouveia (In Press). The original video on YouTube can be found here: https://youtu.be/iYQSdBqAqzw Write in the comments below if you'd like to hear when the forthcoming chapter is published! Gilbert's chapter, mentioned in the video, can be found here: https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/ef68/f7fd6bf0fbac4cd563246ea73be0975814c6.pdf?_ga=2.186717288.1111814267.1593065214-959304887.1593065214

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Shame experiences can often be firmly embedded as shame memories, with traumatic qualities and centrality to self-identity. These shame memories can then have negative effects on our psychological well-being, and also our openness to receiving compassion from others or from ourselves. But, as Dr Stan Steindl describes in this video, cultivating self-compassion can be very helpful in alleviating the suffering associated with shame memories. If you are human, you will have experienced shame. That's completely normal! Also innate to humans is our compassionate motivation, and we can learn to bring our own compassion to our shame memories. Oh, and the video also has a little rendition of a few bars from Body and Soul...and can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSwj5AA21lg

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

The greatest threat to prehistoric humans was to be cast out of the group. Social threat is still painfully felt by humans today, especially in the form of socially self-conscious emotions, most notably shame. In this video, Dr Stan Steindl discusses shame, the different types of shame, its origins, and its physical and psychological effects. Importantly, cultivating the compassionate mind seems to be very helpful in working with shame, and a recent study from the UQ Compassionate Mind Research Group by Carter, Gilbert and Kirby (2020) found that compassion focused therapy helped to significantly reduce body weight shame. The compassionate self knows you are good and worthy, and is motivated to help you suffer less. The original video can be found here: https://youtu.be/nBsRL0XAU3U

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

In this video, Dr Stan Steindl exposes himself to possible ignominy by playing his guitar and singing 80s hits to exemplify each of the three emotion regulation systems in the three circles model: threat, drive and soothing/affiliation. It is rather embarrassing, and quite ridiculous in a way, but here it is. Please feel free to leave your comments below! They are always welcome...the original video can be found here: https://youtu.be/xbMIDWgDSmA

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Harry Potter and the Place of Safeness: Part 2 is a follow-up to the previous Part 1 episode, which used stories from the world of Harry Potter to discuss the compassionate mind perspective on safety versus safeness. Part 1 can be found here: https://youtu.be/qW690ageYkY . In Part 2, Dr Stan Steindl provides a guided safe place imagery exercise. Safe place imagery is a powerful way to move from threat-based safety seeking, to a feeling of safeness arising from the soothing-affiliative system. Please leave any thoughts, comments or questions below! The video for Part 2 can be found here: https://youtu.be/dOKmPPHFgl8

safe harry potter stan steindl
The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

From the compassionate mind perspective, safety and safeness are considered to be quite different. Safety is threat-based, while safeness arises from the soothing-affiliative system. In this video, Dr Stan Steindl explores safety and safeness, using scenes from the Harry Potter series to illustrate the substantive difference between the two. This video will be followed by Harry Potter and the Place of Safeness: Part 2, which is a guided exercises for creating safe place imagery, and helping with the shift from safety seeking to feeling safe.

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Anger can feel powerful, energising and strong. And yet it can also be destructive. Of course, none of this is our fault, and is just part of our tricky brains. But we do try to take responsibility for our anger, understand it, and understand what lies behind it. After a recent incident with his coffee machine, Dr Stan Steindl explores anger as well as how to approach our Angry Self with our Compassionate Self. He mentions Professor Russell Kolts' work with anger and compassion, and Professor Kolt's TED talk "Anger, Compassion and What it Means to be Strong" can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QG4Z185MBJE The original video of this episode is available on Youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rk5SSFPe1c

compassion stan steindl
The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Shakespeare was a perspicacious observer of what it is to be human, and what it is to experience human emotions. Here, Dr Stan Steindl explores a passage from Shakespeare's play Cymbeline. It is spoken by the character of Imogen, dressed as the pageboy Fidele, when, after being drugged by a sleep potion, she wakes in a cave to find the beheaded body of her murderous pursuer but mistakes him for her lover, because the pursuer is dressed in her lover's clothes. Complicated stuff! But she describes fear, and her need for compassion. This video explores Shakespeare, fear and anxiety, and the role a type of acting can play in helping us become more acquainted with our anxious self, and also begin a conversation between our anxious self, and our compassionate self. The original video (with recital and acting) can be found here: https://youtu.be/kc7DuKCfWhs

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

After last week's discussion about the Big Three Emotions (anger, anxiety and sadness), Dr Stan Steindl reflected on his own experience of the COVID-19 pandemic, and the resulting sadness. In this video, he explores sadness, including the feelings and thoughts associated with sadness, the way our attention can shift, the behaviours, and urges to behave, we have when feeling sad, and the possible motives behind the Sad Self. What to do about it? Stan explores self-compassion, his own version of what works for him, and invites you to consider, "What might be most helpful for you?" You can watch the original video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTEHX4c9sCE

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Staying home during the COVID-19 pandemic is a great act of compassion because it helps reduce transmission of the virus and "flatten the curve". However, for many of us this comes at an equally great cost, such that we suffer more, or in other ways. In this video, Dr Stan Steindl explores our multiple selves, different emotional aspect to ourselves, each with its own perspective, and the way that during this time staying home we can experience emotional, behavioural and relational suffering through combinations of the big three: Angry Self, Anxious Self, and Sad Self. Of course, it's the Compassionate Self that can bring awareness and understanding, turning our difficult emotional soup back into its individual ingredients, and offer each part of ourselves care, comfort and soothing during this difficult time. The original video can be watched here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tpw5RlMJTg . And Professor Paul Gilbert's videos that are referred to in this podcast are available here: https://www.compassionatewellbeing.com/compassion-safe-relating-and-world-change.html?fbclid=IwAR3qIXWQADCKKm9FApITmvqPO5RizJmlU0kLspn2szGNdHFgXI28TvHRi1k

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

In this time of the COVID-19 pandemic, many people who are able are staying home. In this video, Dr Stan Steindl discusses this move to stay home as an act of great compassion, especially when we remember that compassion is a sensitivity to suffering in self and others, with a commitment to try to alleviate and PREVENT it. Staying home is designed to prevent suffering, through minimising transmission, flattening the curve, and reducing the risks to those who are more vulnerable to the virus. And it can be very difficult, especially given sacrifices people make. And yet it is indeed a great act of compassion. The original video can be found here: https://youtu.be/hHylm4b7IbU

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

In this video, Dr Stan Steindl discusses the sixth competency of the compassionate mind: non-judgement. After a quick look at how to spell the word, we ask "does this mean we never judge?" We look at the role of judgement in compassion, both in terms of sensitivity and helpful action, as well as the importance of discernment and boundary setting. We then clarify non-judgement from the perspective of the compassionate mind, namely that we take a non-shaming and non-blaming attitude towards ourselves and others, and yet with care and discernment. The original video can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZSy7Gdyy6o&t=221s

non judgement stan steindl
The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

People often ask, "What's the difference between compassion and empathy?" While there are many perspectives on this question, in this video Dr Stan Steindl discusses compassion and empathy from the perspective of the compassionate mind, including the differences between them, but also the important ways that they relate to one another. Compassion is a motivation and empathy is competency...watch the video for clarification of what all this might mean! The original video can be found at: https://youtu.be/SaUPgaftqVs

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

In this video, Dr Stan Steindl discusses compassion fatigue from the theoretical perspective of the compassionate mind. In particular, this video explores the roles of the attributes of compassion, especially empathy, sympathy and distress tolerance, as well as the three flows of compassion, offering some thoughts to ponder as you bring all three flows into balance. This video also poses a controversial question: Is there such a thing as compassion fatigue? And, of course, this is then explored in more detail. Your thoughts would be most welcome in the comments below! The original video can be watched at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxkH-Qd4Bvo

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Dr Stan Steindl reviews the wonderful speech given by Joaquin Phoenix when he was recently awarded the Best Actor in a Leading Role for his portrayal of Joker. See the video of this podcast here: https://youtu.be/IgrZqQIBNMo . In his speech, Joaquin speaks about love and compassion, gratitude, humility, commonality, forgiveness and much more. You can see Joaquin's speech here: https://oscar.go.com/winners . Write your impressions below!

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

After a quick dash to Palo Alto University in Northern California last week, Dr Stan Steindl explores the notion of compassion conversations: a listener and speaker, where the listener is interested and engaged and helps the speaker explore their perspective on compassion, both sides of the argument, and ultimately eliciting a commitment for next steps. Through the magic of movie making, this video offers a demonstration of a compassion conversation! Notice the Wisdom Talk at 8 minutes 15 seconds! The original video can be found at https://youtu.be/MziUCQ3pj24 .

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Compassion for others takes courage. Receiving compassion from others takes courage. Offering compassion to ourselves takes courage. All three flows of compassion take courage, and in this video Dr Stan Steindl offers some thoughts and musings about courage and how to find it as we cultivate the compassionate mind. If you would like to watch the original video, you can find it here: https://youtu.be/GnbtMEAqlNM

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

In this podcast, Dr Stan Steindl discusses the role of mind awareness in compassionate wisdom. Specifically, the first step in compassionate wisdom is to be able to become aware of the mind, understand it, and understand how it works. When difficult emotions arise, then we move towards and experience the emotions. Not easy, and takes a lot of courage! But important! The original video can be found here: https://youtu.be/WJsgHZu-IKU

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Our minds can so easily get caught up in difficult loops. It can be very difficult stepping out of those loops and into the compassionate mind. Not least, we have reservations that hold us back from compassion towards self and others. So what can take us from reservation to activation of the compassionate mind? In this podcast, Dr Stan Steindl introduces the concept of Wisdom Talk: exploring and expressing our wisdom, insight and understanding of what lies behind our experience. See the original video here: https://youtu.be/OwOBruJ133M

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

In this podcast, Dr Stan Steindl dives a little deeper into discovering compassionate wisdom and the role it plays in cultivating the compassionate mind. Given the genes that were designed for us, the tricky brains and bodies we were born with, and the experiences that shaped us, so much of our suffering is not our fault. Ultimately, compassionate wisdom is about taking responsibility for the difficulties we may face in our own lives without blaming or shaming ourselves or others, and finding ways that we can be helpful, rather than harmful. The video version of this podcast can be found here: https://youtu.be/9ztCMdO4TEE

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

In this podcast, Dr Stan Steindl discusses the foundational body-based practices of compassion: a compassionate posture, friendly facial expression, warm and friendly voice tones, and Soothing Rhythm Breathing. A second podcast, Always Bring It Back To The Body - Part 2, provides a demonstration and guided practice, and can be found here at The Compassion Initiative Podcast.

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

In this podcast, Dr Stan Steindl presents a guided practice bringing together the body-based practices discussed in Always Bring It Back To The Body - Part 1: a compassionate posture, friendly facial expression, warm and friendly voice tones, and Soothing Rhythm Breathing.

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

In this video, Dr Stan Steindl discusses three of the important qualities that make up the compassionate mind, the flour, eggs and sugar of the compassion cake, if you will: wisdom, strength and commitment. Perhaps you can explore these qualities for yourself, and add in other qualities to create the recipe for your own signature compassion cake! See the original video here: https://youtu.be/JQ4PsJiRID8

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

In this video, Dr Stan Steindl discusses the fundamental role of compassion in human survival, including being open to receiving help, support comfort and compassion from others. However, people can feel a number of fears, blocks and resistances that can get in the way of receiving compassion. This video offers five steps to help with opening up to receiving compassion from others. The video can be seen at https://youtu.be/tRdR0hfxBJ0

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Here, Dr Stan Steindl discusses self-compassion, first by considering the natural emergence of compassion for another living creature that is suffering, and then applying elements of that same compassion to ourselves when we too may suffer. The original video Let's Talk About Self-Compassion! can be found here: https://youtu.be/xrnaDPICJZw

self compassion stan steindl
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抬头不见低头见,可我再也不认识我的邻居

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Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2019 8:56


原创:尧葭 新周刊 主播:杨程昊 (威.信. zhubochenghao)我们的邻居消失了。真不失为一个惊悚电影或者恐怖故事的好开头。不过今天不打算讲恐怖故事,消失的意思是,我们的邻居,正在从我们的通讯录上消失,从微信好友列表消失,从熟人关系消失。时至今日,邻居,成为我们最熟悉的陌生人。你认识你的邻居吗?中国青年报做过一项关于邻居的调查,40.6%的人说自己不熟悉自己的邻居,其中12.7%的人“根本不认识”自己的邻居。每天居住在同一栋楼里,可是我不认识你,你也不认识我。这项调查是2011年做的,放到今天,情况只会更糟。每天用同样的小区门禁卡,出入同一栋楼,坐同一部电梯,甚至在同样的楼层,抬头不见低头见,都是我们的邻居们。有时怕什么来什么,你也许顶着一头炸毛,满脸油光,趿着拖鞋,穿着大裤衩,出来倒垃圾和拿外卖,就能撞见邻居——除了家人和舍友,他们是少有看过你最真实面目的人了。不过,有关系吗? 除了跟我们住得近之外,现在的邻居与大街上的路人甲,已经没有任何区别。不同于上一辈人,如今我们和自己的邻居缘分,就是在目送他们渐行渐远。而且,他们还用消失的背影告诉你:不必追。住同一层楼,就能成为好姐妹的,只能出现在《欢乐颂》里了。有一种情怀,叫做老邻居“落雨帮我收被单/常常去你家吃饭/老人小孩一大院/巷弄底里讲闲谈。”这是温州方言歌曲《邻居都去哪儿了》的开头,让人想起旧时的老邻居。从大杂院、弄堂、围屋、村屋等民房,到七八十年代统配住房时期的筒子楼,旧式住宅大多局促狭小,邻里之间只有薄墙相隔,隔音效果也不好。因为条件有限,邻居们常常需要共用厕所、洗菜池和水表。院子、巷弄和走廊是公共空间,天然地成为街坊邻居们的休憩和社交场所。那时的物质生活并不充裕,但人与人之间却隔得很近。大杂院里几家共用水龙头 图/ 《贫嘴张大民的的幸福生活》陈丹燕在文章《上海的弄堂》里,构建了一幅弄堂生活场景:平平静静的音乐开着;后门的公共厨房里传出来炖鸡的香气;有阳光的地方,底楼人家拉出了麻绳,把一家人的被子褥子统统拿出来晒着,新洗的衣服散发着香气,花花绿绿的在风里飘,仔细地看,就认出来这是今年大街上时髦的式样;你看见路上头发如瀑的小姐正在后门的水斗上,穿了一件缩了水的旧毛衣,用诗芬在洗头发,太阳下面那湿湿的头发冒出热气来;还有修鞋师傅,坐在弄口,乒乓地敲着一个高跟鞋的细跟,补上一块新橡皮。因为有限的物理空间,不同家庭不得不把自己生活的某一部分与邻居相互交叠,换取共享资源和空间的权利。于是邻居们得以看到彼此褪去光鲜,最有烟火气息的真实一面。这样的生活无疑是现在住在水泥森林的人们体会不到的。从前的日色很慢也很长,邻里是温暖的情怀,也是亲切的怀恋。 那时,邻居家的电视总是很好看,邻居阿姨炒的饭菜总是特别香。做饭的时候,各家传来锅碗瓢盆叮叮当当的敲击声,俨然一首充满生活气息的交响曲。东家的油盐,西家的调料总会在各个不同的厨房循环出现。即使自家没做饭,端着一个碗四处走动,就能百家饭吃到肚皮饱胀。有一种小孩叫隔壁家的小孩,他永远比你优秀,但是比你考多几分也并不妨碍彼此的情感。放学后是所有孩子最快乐的时光,每次出门一喊,就能集结一群一起写作业一起玩耍的小伙伴。有一种交往叫美食外交。谁家买了西瓜,左邻右舍都会分到一瓤两瓤,谁从老家带了特产,前屋后院的邻居们都能分点品尝。小孩们乐意在各家之间充当人肉送货员,换取在小伙伴家放风的一小段快活时光。有一种信任叫远亲不如近邻。家里钥匙可以放心地交给邻居保管,帮忙接小孩、收衣服就像自己家事一样自然,真正紧急时,街坊们从不分你我,有钱出钱,有力出力,守望相助共渡难关。“蒸梨常共灶,浇薤亦同渠。”在生活条件并不优越的年代,人与人之间的感情却淳朴而真实,邻里彼此信任、深刻地参与了对方的生活,成为举足轻重的一分子,是没有血缘却胜似亲人的存在。现在的邻居,比邻若天涯人都是群居动物,天然地想与身边的同类共处,然而就像凤梨罐头会过期,如今这个原则放到邻居的语境下已经过时。90年代开始,城市化的步伐加快,大搬迁的浪潮深刻地改变了人们的生活方式。我们从平房搬到了高档小区,从家家不闭户到层层防盗门,旧式邻里的脉脉温情却逐渐消解。邻里成了单纯的地缘关系,而失去了原来的温情色彩。陶渊明的诗《移居》中写道:“闻多素心人,乐与数晨夕。”他选择移居南村,是因为看中了这里有很多内心朴素纯净之人,希望能和这些人朝夕相处。如今,我们对身边的邻居一无所知,是不是素心人,咱不知道也不敢问,与他们密切相处就更谈不上了。倒推回最最基本的问题,有多少人能叫出自己邻居的名字?又有多少人还认得邻居的面孔?恐怕不少人会把头摇得比拨浪鼓还要欢。如今人们都只向往人迹罕至的“桃花源”了。出门照面点个头已经算是仁至义尽,就算搭乘同一部电梯,勉强寒暄几句后就赶紧掏手机,假装有十亿生意要忙。“各扫门前雪,莫管他人瓦上霜”是当下邻里关系的常态,我们保有了自己和对方的隐私,也失去了对邻居们的好奇。不关心不打扰,是我们对邻居的“温柔”,也难怪独居老人发生意外多日无人知晓的新闻屡见报端。恐怖电影看得多了,就会激发无限的想象力,要是你的邻居对你过于热情,还得怀疑对方是不是图谋不轨。网上有人说自己新搬家后为了与邻居们打好关系,敲邻居门送水果,却连吃了四五家闭门羹,最后终于像不相信爱情那样也放弃了相信邻里之情。如果把邻里关系当做一门考试,从国内到国外,估计许多国家都得挂科。汇丰银行做过一个名为“澳洲梦想家园”的调查,发现四分之一的澳大利亚人不和邻居说话,只有19%的人知道邻居的外貌,7%的人表示,如果有邻居摔倒了,他们当面都认不出来。日本人比澳洲人好一些,某搬家公司一项邻里相处调查反映,46.6%的受访者“熟知部分邻居的容貌以及姓名”,但是“邻里相处难易度”的问题中,回答“困难”的比例达到了50.9%。看似热情的美国人,其实并不热衷于搞邻里关系。一项综合社会调查显示,仅有2%的美国受访者认为邻居是坦诚相待的,而只有9%的人认为邻居对自己有所帮助。德国社会学家卢曼将信任关系分为人际信任与制度信任。不得不承认的是,当下邻里关系中的人际信任在社会的发展过程中渐渐失掉了生存土壤,邻里关系由从前紧密的人情联系转变为契约关系,传统意义上的邻居,正在离我们远去。但有些时候,成为邻居才是故事的开始。邻里之战,就是一部狗血大剧日渐冷漠的邻里关系让人感到唏嘘,但是对有些人来说,冷漠,已经是最好的结果。一个残酷的真相是,如今人们对同个屋檐下的邻居们已经越来越容易失去耐性,区区生活琐事就能剑拔弩张,即使“杀敌一千,自损八百”,也要与邻居争个高下。在网购网站上搜关键词“邻居”,弹出来的第一个商品,叫做震楼器。啥是震楼器?这是一种安装在天花板的振动马达,通过模拟震动和敲打的噪音,以暴制暴,反击和遏制楼上住户制造噪音。震楼器的价格在100到400元不等,基本都会标榜“自家不吵”,机器打开后在自己家听到的是音乐,在楼上听到的是冲击钻的声音。不仅如此,还有远程遥控和预约功能,价格越高,噪音的种类和力度选择越“丰富”。排在首页的热销产品,月销量高达1000多件,可见各家邻居之间战况之激烈,看评价就可以脑补出1000集剧情。震楼器的威力有多大?有人因为使用震楼器而获得了暂时的宁静,有人因为沟通失败而互殴报警,有人因为不堪其扰最后被迫搬走……那些家有多动症小孩,或者喜欢在家唱、跳、练乐器和篮球,还依然与邻居相安无事的人就偷着乐吧,还要顺便感谢一下邻居们的不报复之恩。横亘在邻里之间的鱼刺,除了噪音,还有一种无形胜有形的掠夺行为——蹭网。知乎上有个提问,叫 “如何回绝不熟悉的邻居问 Wi-Fi 密码?”,提问下面有768个回答,最高赞回答有近5000人赞同。在这个流量贵如油的年代,手握流量的人就是土豪, Wi-Fi到不了的地方都叫远方。有的人不舍得自己买流量,却靠蹭邻居家的Wi-Fi续命。为了省钱,他们宁愿在阳台窗口楼梯把自己扭曲成诡异的身姿,只为了接收信号;或者下载流氓蹭网软件用技术手段盗取,无视各种问候全家的Wi-Fi名称;脸皮再厚点的,就像上面提到的那样会直接找邻居要密码,即使邻居跟他并不相熟。也许在他们眼里,蹭网不能算偷。而邻居存在的意义,只是帮他们交网费的冤大头。不过侥幸连到了也不必太开心,也许他们的设备在连上后根本没信号,因为被对方悄悄限制了流量,还有隐私通过 Wi-Fi泄露的风险,实在得不偿失。现在网上关于邻居的新闻,温情的越来越少,狗血的越来越多。以下随意摘取了一拨4网友的困惑:邻居毒死了我的狗又不承认,我该怎么做?楼下邻居养鸡,早上一直打鸣,我该怎么办?怎样委婉告诉楼上大爷不要在晚上用麦克风练歌?隔壁有个孕妇,让你关掉 Wi-Fi 怎么办?邻居拿热水把我种的花椒树浇死了,我该怎么做?……宠物、小孩、噪音、卫生、占道等等都可以成为争吵的导火索,剪不断,理还乱。与普通的争端不同,邻居是360度盘旋在身边的幽灵,抬头不见低头见,今日不见明日见,除非决绝搬家,否则与邻居的斗争就是一场无限期的残酷凌迟,需要勇气和耐力。更多一些和谐的邻里关系。邻里关系,正在消失从历史发展的角度来看,邻里关系的消解几乎是必然的。较早的邻里以血缘关系为纽带,同一个家族的人生活在一起抱团取暖。在城市化的进程中,工缘关系又逐渐取代了血缘关系,尤其在单位统一分配住房的年代,住一起的人既是同事也是邻居。而现在,我们的邻居,大多只是陌生人,而且这些陌生人的搬家频率相当之高,常常还没认全,就已经搬走。也许有人会说,以前的邻居,不一定都是亲人和同事,从陌生人培养起来的也有不少。中青报的调查数据显示,在“当下邻里关系变冷漠的原因”中,最主要的因素,是我们对陌生人戒备心理比从前更强了。我们不再像从前那样轻易对陌生人交出我们的信任。心理咨询师Stan Steindl表示,“这是一个现代问题,虽然我们仍然生活在社区里,但经常会有非常强烈的孤独感。我们发现,当和陌生人生活在一起时,我们的威胁系统就开始启动,开始在这些陌生人身上寻找威胁,并开始建立我们的防御系统。”我们比从前更尊重个人的隐私和空间,尤其在城市,偷盗事件频发,从前“家家大门常打开”的习惯已经失去,防盗门、监视系统、报警系统却屡屡升级,物理上隔绝了邻居们偶遇和交流的机会。我们的生活中,也不常碰到像“马大姐”这样的“闲人”了。过去,生活条件有限,邻里之间互帮互助,相互依赖,才能维持日常生活。东家借盐油,西家出人力,一来一往,无形中增进了彼此的感情。如今,谁家不是万物齐备,就算真的缺了什么东西,一个电话一个订单,跑腿服务快递业务直接送上门,简直不要太方便。从前遇到问题,我们可能会厚着脸皮敲邻居家的门寻求帮助,现如今,上网搜索就可以得到专业的答案,而物业和居委会制度的成熟,已经足够解决我们大部分的生活实际问题。我们的社交与娱乐方式越来越多样化,手机、互联网和各类社交软件的普及,使我们得以与远方的亲人朋友实时沟通,邻居不再是我们社交圈子的必选项。科技让我们足不出户,远离社交。“远亲不如近邻”的说法,终有一天会成为历史,伴随着社会变迁,传统意义上的亲密邻里关系,正在逐渐消失。即便如此,还是会在心里小小地希望,如果哪天做饭真的没有盐了,跑出去敲敲门,就有毫不犹豫开门把盐递给你的好邻居。

wifi stan steindl
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抬头不见低头见,可我再也不认识我的邻居

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Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2019 8:56


原创:尧葭 新周刊 主播:杨程昊 (威.信. zhubochenghao)我们的邻居消失了。真不失为一个惊悚电影或者恐怖故事的好开头。不过今天不打算讲恐怖故事,消失的意思是,我们的邻居,正在从我们的通讯录上消失,从微信好友列表消失,从熟人关系消失。时至今日,邻居,成为我们最熟悉的陌生人。你认识你的邻居吗?中国青年报做过一项关于邻居的调查,40.6%的人说自己不熟悉自己的邻居,其中12.7%的人“根本不认识”自己的邻居。每天居住在同一栋楼里,可是我不认识你,你也不认识我。这项调查是2011年做的,放到今天,情况只会更糟。每天用同样的小区门禁卡,出入同一栋楼,坐同一部电梯,甚至在同样的楼层,抬头不见低头见,都是我们的邻居们。有时怕什么来什么,你也许顶着一头炸毛,满脸油光,趿着拖鞋,穿着大裤衩,出来倒垃圾和拿外卖,就能撞见邻居——除了家人和舍友,他们是少有看过你最真实面目的人了。不过,有关系吗? 除了跟我们住得近之外,现在的邻居与大街上的路人甲,已经没有任何区别。不同于上一辈人,如今我们和自己的邻居缘分,就是在目送他们渐行渐远。而且,他们还用消失的背影告诉你:不必追。住同一层楼,就能成为好姐妹的,只能出现在《欢乐颂》里了。有一种情怀,叫做老邻居“落雨帮我收被单/常常去你家吃饭/老人小孩一大院/巷弄底里讲闲谈。”这是温州方言歌曲《邻居都去哪儿了》的开头,让人想起旧时的老邻居。从大杂院、弄堂、围屋、村屋等民房,到七八十年代统配住房时期的筒子楼,旧式住宅大多局促狭小,邻里之间只有薄墙相隔,隔音效果也不好。因为条件有限,邻居们常常需要共用厕所、洗菜池和水表。院子、巷弄和走廊是公共空间,天然地成为街坊邻居们的休憩和社交场所。那时的物质生活并不充裕,但人与人之间却隔得很近。大杂院里几家共用水龙头 图/ 《贫嘴张大民的的幸福生活》陈丹燕在文章《上海的弄堂》里,构建了一幅弄堂生活场景:平平静静的音乐开着;后门的公共厨房里传出来炖鸡的香气;有阳光的地方,底楼人家拉出了麻绳,把一家人的被子褥子统统拿出来晒着,新洗的衣服散发着香气,花花绿绿的在风里飘,仔细地看,就认出来这是今年大街上时髦的式样;你看见路上头发如瀑的小姐正在后门的水斗上,穿了一件缩了水的旧毛衣,用诗芬在洗头发,太阳下面那湿湿的头发冒出热气来;还有修鞋师傅,坐在弄口,乒乓地敲着一个高跟鞋的细跟,补上一块新橡皮。因为有限的物理空间,不同家庭不得不把自己生活的某一部分与邻居相互交叠,换取共享资源和空间的权利。于是邻居们得以看到彼此褪去光鲜,最有烟火气息的真实一面。这样的生活无疑是现在住在水泥森林的人们体会不到的。从前的日色很慢也很长,邻里是温暖的情怀,也是亲切的怀恋。 那时,邻居家的电视总是很好看,邻居阿姨炒的饭菜总是特别香。做饭的时候,各家传来锅碗瓢盆叮叮当当的敲击声,俨然一首充满生活气息的交响曲。东家的油盐,西家的调料总会在各个不同的厨房循环出现。即使自家没做饭,端着一个碗四处走动,就能百家饭吃到肚皮饱胀。有一种小孩叫隔壁家的小孩,他永远比你优秀,但是比你考多几分也并不妨碍彼此的情感。放学后是所有孩子最快乐的时光,每次出门一喊,就能集结一群一起写作业一起玩耍的小伙伴。有一种交往叫美食外交。谁家买了西瓜,左邻右舍都会分到一瓤两瓤,谁从老家带了特产,前屋后院的邻居们都能分点品尝。小孩们乐意在各家之间充当人肉送货员,换取在小伙伴家放风的一小段快活时光。有一种信任叫远亲不如近邻。家里钥匙可以放心地交给邻居保管,帮忙接小孩、收衣服就像自己家事一样自然,真正紧急时,街坊们从不分你我,有钱出钱,有力出力,守望相助共渡难关。“蒸梨常共灶,浇薤亦同渠。”在生活条件并不优越的年代,人与人之间的感情却淳朴而真实,邻里彼此信任、深刻地参与了对方的生活,成为举足轻重的一分子,是没有血缘却胜似亲人的存在。现在的邻居,比邻若天涯人都是群居动物,天然地想与身边的同类共处,然而就像凤梨罐头会过期,如今这个原则放到邻居的语境下已经过时。90年代开始,城市化的步伐加快,大搬迁的浪潮深刻地改变了人们的生活方式。我们从平房搬到了高档小区,从家家不闭户到层层防盗门,旧式邻里的脉脉温情却逐渐消解。邻里成了单纯的地缘关系,而失去了原来的温情色彩。陶渊明的诗《移居》中写道:“闻多素心人,乐与数晨夕。”他选择移居南村,是因为看中了这里有很多内心朴素纯净之人,希望能和这些人朝夕相处。如今,我们对身边的邻居一无所知,是不是素心人,咱不知道也不敢问,与他们密切相处就更谈不上了。倒推回最最基本的问题,有多少人能叫出自己邻居的名字?又有多少人还认得邻居的面孔?恐怕不少人会把头摇得比拨浪鼓还要欢。如今人们都只向往人迹罕至的“桃花源”了。出门照面点个头已经算是仁至义尽,就算搭乘同一部电梯,勉强寒暄几句后就赶紧掏手机,假装有十亿生意要忙。“各扫门前雪,莫管他人瓦上霜”是当下邻里关系的常态,我们保有了自己和对方的隐私,也失去了对邻居们的好奇。不关心不打扰,是我们对邻居的“温柔”,也难怪独居老人发生意外多日无人知晓的新闻屡见报端。恐怖电影看得多了,就会激发无限的想象力,要是你的邻居对你过于热情,还得怀疑对方是不是图谋不轨。网上有人说自己新搬家后为了与邻居们打好关系,敲邻居门送水果,却连吃了四五家闭门羹,最后终于像不相信爱情那样也放弃了相信邻里之情。如果把邻里关系当做一门考试,从国内到国外,估计许多国家都得挂科。汇丰银行做过一个名为“澳洲梦想家园”的调查,发现四分之一的澳大利亚人不和邻居说话,只有19%的人知道邻居的外貌,7%的人表示,如果有邻居摔倒了,他们当面都认不出来。日本人比澳洲人好一些,某搬家公司一项邻里相处调查反映,46.6%的受访者“熟知部分邻居的容貌以及姓名”,但是“邻里相处难易度”的问题中,回答“困难”的比例达到了50.9%。看似热情的美国人,其实并不热衷于搞邻里关系。一项综合社会调查显示,仅有2%的美国受访者认为邻居是坦诚相待的,而只有9%的人认为邻居对自己有所帮助。德国社会学家卢曼将信任关系分为人际信任与制度信任。不得不承认的是,当下邻里关系中的人际信任在社会的发展过程中渐渐失掉了生存土壤,邻里关系由从前紧密的人情联系转变为契约关系,传统意义上的邻居,正在离我们远去。但有些时候,成为邻居才是故事的开始。邻里之战,就是一部狗血大剧日渐冷漠的邻里关系让人感到唏嘘,但是对有些人来说,冷漠,已经是最好的结果。一个残酷的真相是,如今人们对同个屋檐下的邻居们已经越来越容易失去耐性,区区生活琐事就能剑拔弩张,即使“杀敌一千,自损八百”,也要与邻居争个高下。在网购网站上搜关键词“邻居”,弹出来的第一个商品,叫做震楼器。啥是震楼器?这是一种安装在天花板的振动马达,通过模拟震动和敲打的噪音,以暴制暴,反击和遏制楼上住户制造噪音。震楼器的价格在100到400元不等,基本都会标榜“自家不吵”,机器打开后在自己家听到的是音乐,在楼上听到的是冲击钻的声音。不仅如此,还有远程遥控和预约功能,价格越高,噪音的种类和力度选择越“丰富”。排在首页的热销产品,月销量高达1000多件,可见各家邻居之间战况之激烈,看评价就可以脑补出1000集剧情。震楼器的威力有多大?有人因为使用震楼器而获得了暂时的宁静,有人因为沟通失败而互殴报警,有人因为不堪其扰最后被迫搬走……那些家有多动症小孩,或者喜欢在家唱、跳、练乐器和篮球,还依然与邻居相安无事的人就偷着乐吧,还要顺便感谢一下邻居们的不报复之恩。横亘在邻里之间的鱼刺,除了噪音,还有一种无形胜有形的掠夺行为——蹭网。知乎上有个提问,叫 “如何回绝不熟悉的邻居问 Wi-Fi 密码?”,提问下面有768个回答,最高赞回答有近5000人赞同。在这个流量贵如油的年代,手握流量的人就是土豪, Wi-Fi到不了的地方都叫远方。有的人不舍得自己买流量,却靠蹭邻居家的Wi-Fi续命。为了省钱,他们宁愿在阳台窗口楼梯把自己扭曲成诡异的身姿,只为了接收信号;或者下载流氓蹭网软件用技术手段盗取,无视各种问候全家的Wi-Fi名称;脸皮再厚点的,就像上面提到的那样会直接找邻居要密码,即使邻居跟他并不相熟。也许在他们眼里,蹭网不能算偷。而邻居存在的意义,只是帮他们交网费的冤大头。不过侥幸连到了也不必太开心,也许他们的设备在连上后根本没信号,因为被对方悄悄限制了流量,还有隐私通过 Wi-Fi泄露的风险,实在得不偿失。现在网上关于邻居的新闻,温情的越来越少,狗血的越来越多。以下随意摘取了一拨4网友的困惑:邻居毒死了我的狗又不承认,我该怎么做?楼下邻居养鸡,早上一直打鸣,我该怎么办?怎样委婉告诉楼上大爷不要在晚上用麦克风练歌?隔壁有个孕妇,让你关掉 Wi-Fi 怎么办?邻居拿热水把我种的花椒树浇死了,我该怎么做?……宠物、小孩、噪音、卫生、占道等等都可以成为争吵的导火索,剪不断,理还乱。与普通的争端不同,邻居是360度盘旋在身边的幽灵,抬头不见低头见,今日不见明日见,除非决绝搬家,否则与邻居的斗争就是一场无限期的残酷凌迟,需要勇气和耐力。更多一些和谐的邻里关系。邻里关系,正在消失从历史发展的角度来看,邻里关系的消解几乎是必然的。较早的邻里以血缘关系为纽带,同一个家族的人生活在一起抱团取暖。在城市化的进程中,工缘关系又逐渐取代了血缘关系,尤其在单位统一分配住房的年代,住一起的人既是同事也是邻居。而现在,我们的邻居,大多只是陌生人,而且这些陌生人的搬家频率相当之高,常常还没认全,就已经搬走。也许有人会说,以前的邻居,不一定都是亲人和同事,从陌生人培养起来的也有不少。中青报的调查数据显示,在“当下邻里关系变冷漠的原因”中,最主要的因素,是我们对陌生人戒备心理比从前更强了。我们不再像从前那样轻易对陌生人交出我们的信任。心理咨询师Stan Steindl表示,“这是一个现代问题,虽然我们仍然生活在社区里,但经常会有非常强烈的孤独感。我们发现,当和陌生人生活在一起时,我们的威胁系统就开始启动,开始在这些陌生人身上寻找威胁,并开始建立我们的防御系统。”我们比从前更尊重个人的隐私和空间,尤其在城市,偷盗事件频发,从前“家家大门常打开”的习惯已经失去,防盗门、监视系统、报警系统却屡屡升级,物理上隔绝了邻居们偶遇和交流的机会。我们的生活中,也不常碰到像“马大姐”这样的“闲人”了。过去,生活条件有限,邻里之间互帮互助,相互依赖,才能维持日常生活。东家借盐油,西家出人力,一来一往,无形中增进了彼此的感情。如今,谁家不是万物齐备,就算真的缺了什么东西,一个电话一个订单,跑腿服务快递业务直接送上门,简直不要太方便。从前遇到问题,我们可能会厚着脸皮敲邻居家的门寻求帮助,现如今,上网搜索就可以得到专业的答案,而物业和居委会制度的成熟,已经足够解决我们大部分的生活实际问题。我们的社交与娱乐方式越来越多样化,手机、互联网和各类社交软件的普及,使我们得以与远方的亲人朋友实时沟通,邻居不再是我们社交圈子的必选项。科技让我们足不出户,远离社交。“远亲不如近邻”的说法,终有一天会成为历史,伴随着社会变迁,传统意义上的亲密邻里关系,正在逐渐消失。即便如此,还是会在心里小小地希望,如果哪天做饭真的没有盐了,跑出去敲敲门,就有毫不犹豫开门把盐递给你的好邻居。

wifi stan steindl
The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Loving kindness for self meditation with music. Spoken word by Stan Steindl, classical guitar accompaniment by Anthony Garcia. Performed as part of Convergence: The Science, Art and Spirit of Compassion. Approximately 18 minutes.

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Loving kindness for others meditation with music. Spoken word by Stan Steindl, classical guitar accompaniment by Anthony Garcia. Performed as part of Convergence: The Science, Art and Spirit of Compassion. Approximately 18 minutes.

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Affectionate breathing with music. Spoken word by Stan Steindl, classical guitar accompaniment by Anthony Garcia. Performed as part of Convergence: The Science, Art and Spirit of Compassion. Approximately 18 minutes.

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Welcome to The Compassion Initiative Podcast Series. This Podcast series features Dr Stan Steindl and Dr James Kirby, both Clinical Psychologists. Stan and James are the co-founders of The Compassion Initiative. The podcast series is a relaxed informal ongoing conversation between Stan and James about issues related to compassion. You can access and subscribe to the Podcast on our website: www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Welcome to The Compassion Initiative Podcast Series. This Podcast series features Dr Stan Steindl and Dr James Kirby, both Clinical Psychologists. Stan and James are the co-founders of The Compassion Initiative. The podcast series is a relaxed informal ongoing conversation between Stan and James about issues related to compassion. You can access and subscribe to the Podcast on our website: www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Welcome to The Compassion Initiative Podcast Series. This Podcast series features Dr Stan Steindl and Dr James Kirby, both Clinical Psychologists. Stan and James are the co-founders of The Compassion Initiative. The podcast series is a relaxed informal ongoing conversation between Stan and James about issues related to compassion. You can access and subscribe to the Podcast on our website: www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Welcome to The Compassion Initiative Podcast Series. This Podcast series features Dr Stan Steindl and Dr James Kirby, both Clinical Psychologists. Stan and James are the co-founders of The Compassion Initiative. The podcast series is a relaxed informal ongoing conversation between Stan and James about issues related to compassion. You can access and subscribe to the Podcast on our website: www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Welcome to The Compassion Initiative Podcast Series. This Podcast series features Dr Stan Steindl and Dr James Kirby, both Clinical Psychologists. Stan and James are the co-founders of The Compassion Initiative. The podcast series is a relaxed informal ongoing conversation between Stan and James about issues related to compassion. You can access and subscribe to the Podcast on our website: www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Podcast 2: Defining Compassion Welcome to The Compassion Initiative Podcast Series. This Podcast series features Dr Stan Steindl and Dr James Kirby, both Clinical Psychologists. Stan and James are the co-founders of The Compassion Initiative. The podcast series is a relaxed informal ongoing conversation between Stan and James about issues related to compassion. You can access and subscribe to the Podcast on our website: www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Welcome to The Compassion Initiative Podcast Series. This Podcast series features Dr Stan Steindl and Dr James Kirby, both Clinical Psychologists. Stan and James are the co-founders of The Compassion Initiative. The podcast series is a relaxed informal ongoing conversation between Stan and James about issues related to compassion. You can access and subscribe to the Podcast on our website: www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

The Compassion Initiative: Just Two Guys in Brisbane talking Compassion. www.thecompassioninitiative.com.au

Welcome to The Compassion Initiative Podcast Series. This Podcast series features Dr Stan Steindl and Dr James Kirby, both Clinical Psychologists. Stan and James are the co-founders of The Compassion Initiative. The podcast series is a relaxed informal ongoing conversation between Stan and James about issues related to compassion. You can access and subscribe to the Podcast on our website: www.thecompassioninitiative.com