Podcasts about uncultured

Put simply: Bluey goes hard.It's 2025 and we're back, baby! We come out swinging for the fences as we discuss the wildly successful children's show “Bluey.” Also this episode we welcome our very first Uncultured guest and our friend, Matt Hobbs of Puppy Songs. The three-way chat cast a good spectrum of familiarity with Bluey, from the wholly initiated to the brand new.We watched seven key Bluey episodes that demonstrate the brilliance of the show in terms of concise storytelling and flawless cinematic execution. “Magic Xylophone”, “Camping”, “Dance Mode”, “Sleepytime”, “Grandad”, “Rain”, and “Space.” Each episode has their own lesson and iconic moment that accurately encapsulates what Bluey is all about: radical empathy and earnest authenticity coupled with learning through play makes for lasting, pure television magic.Buckle up for next month when we come at you with our most batshit insane films: “The Handmaiden” picked by Joe, and “Pee-Wee's Big Adventure” picked by Justin.--We are Uncultured Universe - the podcast where we introduce movies, tv, music, and books to each other to get a little bit more cultured. Remember to like, review & subscribe!--Stay up to date on all new episodes here: https://linktr.ee/uncultureduniverse

"What a little name for such a person." We're back, bitches! After a small hiatus, we return with Joe's long-time pick "Little Women" from 1994. Justin has never seen it, until now! Somewhat appropriate for this time of year, "Little Women" is the perfect feel good/feel sad movie just in time for the Xmas season. The themes of questioning your place in the world, as well as giving the patriarchy a hearty and enthusiastic bucking, makes this movie highly relevant in today's society. The performances are what really stand out in this flick. All of the eponymous tiny ladies are firing on all cylinders to create a truly memorable and strong film that stands the test of time. Stay tuned for a future episode where we view the 2019 version and compare notes! We'll see you in 2025 where we'll explore more sequels, sister-films, and follow ups, as well as expanding our palette into more TV shows and music! -- We are Uncultured Universe - the podcast where two friends show each other movies, tv, music, or anything else to get a little more cultured. Remember to like, review & subscribe! -- Stay up to date on all new episodes here: https://linktr.ee/uncultureduniverse Check us out and follow on Instagram @‌uncultureduniverse

Send us a textHave you considered that a narcissistically abusive relationship is actually a cult of two?Daniella Mestyanek-Young, author of Uncultured and expert in cult dynamics, joins us to discuss the similarities between cult leaders and narcissists.Be sure to follow Daniella!TikTok - @knittingcultladyWebsite: Uncultureyourself.comAnd get a copy of her book, Uncultured: https://amzn.to/3CDhFcYCould you be in a coercively controlling relationship? In this week's podcast extra, Daniella tackles how to wake up to toxic and covert manipulation and control strategies.Get immediate access to this exclusive interview when you subscribe to this podcast's weekly Substack newsletter. All Podcast Extra interviews are embedded inside each weekly publication.Subscribe here: substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuseDid you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! Follow Dr. McAvoy!YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphdInstagram: @kerrymcavoyphdFacebook: @kerrymcavoyphdE-mail: hello@kerrymcavoyphd.comNewsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.Support the show

**The audio for this episode has been updated** If you need advice, have a confession, or wanna light the blunt with us, message us on Instagram or email us at askboyznextdoor@gmail.com! YouTube: Boyz Next Door Pod Instagram: boyznextdoorpod | blaccbrry | kenlushh Twitter: thebndpodcast | __kenlushh Boy Tunez Spotify: https://spotify.link/rD4A5e255Db Boy Tunez Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/boy-tunez/pl.u-b6jNFLWEW7g

Say whats up!Garba SeasonDiwali BarbieMarital Crimes... all this and much more on this week's episode!Follow us @mildmanneredtimid | @kalysay | @kushparm | @rianjalimusicEmail us @ mmtyabish@gmail.com

We gonna learns yall today. Animation is not just for the kiddos but for everyone. So lets expand yall horizons as we put yall on our favorie animated shows. Let us know if yall have seen any or which ones yall want to check out. Check out 21 Blackjack on Webtoons if you haven't had the chance. Leave a like, subscribe , and share! Follow the Podcast on Youtube, Tiktok, IG, and Twitter @bmorenerdy Follow your host @ga1axygr3g @always_the_diva @honestyl_heed And remember to Be More Nerds!

"Life is like a box of chocolates..."To celebrate our 50th episode (as well as the podcast's 2nd birthday) we've decided to temporarily throw out the rules and do something a little different. This episode, we look at Justin's favorite movie of all time, and Joe has also seen it: Forrest Gump from 1994!No frills, no muss, no fuss. Just a great discussion about why the movie Forrest Gump rules. This film has it all: deep social commentary, romance, complex human emotion on display, harsh realities of war, but most importantly this movie has heart. Tom Hanks is obviously at the center of that heart, but his costars Robin Wright, Sally Field, and Gary Sinise are absolute triumphs in their roles that support and don't outshine the others.We'll come back to our Uncultured Culture Club soon with Joe's immense and hard-to-tackle pick, the entire Lord of the Rings Extended Editions! But first, we're going to jump into October looking at a couple Winona Ryder centric films starting with a selection from Joe, 1994's "Little Women"!--We are Uncultured Universe - the podcast where two friends show each other movies, tv, music, or anything else to get a little more cultured. Remember to like, review & subscribe!--Stay up to date on all new episodes here: https://linktr.ee/uncultureduniverseCheck us out and follow on Instagram @‌uncultureduniverse

Daniella Mestyanek (she/her) Young, scholar of cults, extreme groups and extremely bad leadership. Daniella is the author of Uncultured, a critically acclaimed memoir of growing up in the children of god cult and then going into the cult of US Army. Daniella holds a masters in organizational psychology from Harvard, and is working on a second book called The Culting of America In this episode we talk about: Children of God Cult Joining and leaving the US Army Control, sexual assault, and preparation for the apocalypse  Wearing wacky clothes as a form of expression Finding joy and happiness after deconstruction Connect with Daniella: Instagram Listen to her TedTalk Join her Deconstruction Book Club Buy and autographed copy of her book TikTok Some delightfully disrespectful merch  Connect with Maggie: Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/hello_deconstructionists/⁠ Email: ⁠hello.decons@gmail.com⁠ Discord Server: ⁠https://discord.gg/C3DUZdF3HJ⁠  Visit ⁠dauntless.fm⁠ for more content Learn more about Amy's music: Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.amyazzara.com/⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Foray Music: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.foraymusic.com/⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/amyazzara/⁠⁠ This is a Dauntless Media Collective Podcast. Visit dauntless.fm for more content.

A rather long and off and on track episode of the cultures of uncultured people.

Starting today, Genna is cheating - or at least, Maria feels that she is. Upon hearing Fall Out Boy's reimagination of Billy Joel's original song, 'We Didn't Start the Fire,' Gen realized that she was unfamiliar with many of the topics FOB was singing about. Is she simply ignorant? Uncultured? Why doesn't she know so many of these references? That is when she decided to use this opportunity to explore a whole pool of episode topics, pulling directly from the song's lyrics. Her first topic in her We Didn't Start the Fire series is the very first line of the song; 90's cartoon superhero and environmental activist - Captain Planet! While he may possess multiple super abilities, the power is most certainly yours! Just watch out for spitballs and name-calling. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wonderbingepod/message

DANIELLA MESTYANEK YOUNG is a scholar of cults and extreme groups, and extremely bad leadership, and the author of the critically acclaimed memoir UNCULTURED. Daniella was raised in the religious sex cult, The Children of God. She later served as an intelligence officer for the US Army, making the rank of Captain, and became one of the first women in US Army history to conduct deliberate ground combat operations when she volunteered to serve on a Female Engagement Team, and received the Presidential Volunteer Service Award. TW: Please listen at your own discretion. Uncultured: https://www.amazon.com/Uncultured-Memoir-Daniella-Mestyanek-Young/dp/1250280117/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&&qid=1667828324&&sr=8-1 UnAmerican: https://www.patreon.com/GroupBehaviorGal/shop/unamerican-video-book-memoir-217440?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=productshare_creator&utm_content=join_link Twitter: @daniellamyoung TikTok: @daniellamestyanekyoung Instagram: @_daniellamyoung https://www.uncultureyourself.com/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuFRBZ2w3QsYs7Km69keHsg

We have all heard of cults, but what is a cult? What characteristics qualify an organization as a cult? This is chapter one of the cult chronicles. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cult   https://janjalalich.com/help/characteristics-associated-with-cults/   Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hm6heglECcI

It's a recap episode, everybody!After 40+ episodes, why not take a look back in the past? If you've been in the Uncultured circle for a bit, you know that we make a lot of silly musical accompaniments to add a little spice to our episodes. From vibe-y lo-fi movie trailers, to off-the-wall intros for a game, we do it all in-house and we wanted to shine a little light on some of our favorites.We take a look at a few highlights ranging from our sea shanty inspired song for our "Muppet Treasure Island" episode, to a rocking version of the iconic motif from "Interstellar." Listen to see where the inspiration stemmed from, a little of the recording process, and the hilarity surround some of the absurd concepts.Stay tuned for our next mini-series in June where we'll look at movies based off of famous SNL skits. Starting off with a Justin pick, we'll embody the spirit of peak early 90's cinema: "Wayne's World!"--We are Uncultured Universe - the podcast where two friends show each other movies, tv, music, or anything else to get a little more cultured. Remember to like, review & subscribe!--Stay up to date on all new episodes here: https://linktr.ee/uncultureduniverseCheck us out and follow on Instagram @‌uncultureduniverse

"If you think about it, any box could have vibrators in it."We've finally cracked into the world of television! This is our initial foray into discussing our favorite tv shows with each other, and Joe mans the helm with his pick, the animated family sitcom Bob's Burgers.Out the gate, we knew this would be a big undertaking, asking someone who's never seen the show (in this case Justin) to take a dive into a new show. Luckily, Bob's Burgers is not serialized, so Joe picked 4 episodes that he feels encapsulates the wacky and often endearing Belcher family. We discuss episodes "Bob Fires the Kids", "Turkey in a Can", "V for Valentine-detta", and "The Plight Before Christmas." We look at what makes each of these episodes special, and drive at the heart of the show, which is the love and affection the Belcher's has for each other.Stay tuned for our next episode, where we'll take a look back at some of our favorite musical moments from the back catalog of Uncultured Universe (it's a recap clip show y'all!)--We are Uncultured Universe - the podcast where two friends show each other movies, tv, music, or anything else to get a little more cultured. Remember to like, review & subscribe!--Stay up to date on all new episodes here: https://linktr.ee/uncultureduniverseCheck us out and follow on Instagram @‌uncultureduniverse

"Give him your heart and he will give you his."What a doozy of an episode, y'all. We welcomed back Ryan to sit behind the mic to discuss one of her beloved comfort-reads, the 2005 New York Times Bestseller "Marley & Me" as well as the 2008 film starring Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston.We discuss our own experience with pets throughout our lives, what the book means to Ryan, and how much we loathe the movie. Bottom line: this book and movie will make you feel a lot of things.This is our first "Book Club" episode, so be sure to stay tuned for more in the future!--We are Uncultured Universe - the podcast where two friends show each other movies, tv, music, or anything else to get a little more cultured. Remember to like, review & subscribe!--Stay up to date on all new episodes here: https://linktr.ee/uncultureduniverseCheck us out and follow on Instagram @‌uncultureduniverse

"Earth Xperiences: Breaking Free from Cult Control with Daniella Mestyanek Young" — In this insightful episode, join Daniella Mestyanek Young, author of "Uncultured," as she recounts her life in and escape from the Children of God cult. Daniella shares her intense and enlightening experiences, providing an inside look at the operations and psychological impact of living within a cult. This episode delves into the themes of manipulation, indoctrination, and the courageous journey to reclaim one's freedom and identity. For those interested in understanding more about cult dynamics or seeking guidance on recovery, visit Daniella at www.uncultureyourself.com. Episode Highlights: Daniella Mestyanek Young's personal narrative of growing up in the Children of God In-depth discussion on the social and psychological effects of cults Advice on identifying cult-like behaviors and strategies for escape Supportive resources for recovery and personal empowerment --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/earthxperiences/message

“The one who was without a caste, who took birth from a ground of sins – even that woman was liberated. O you of greatly foolish mind, how can you desire happiness while forgetting such a Lord?” (Dohavali, 156)

Soon this podcast will be  joining the pop culture scene. In this recording, we shake off the cobwebs, trial some segments and a new recording set up. Each future episode will be a centered around a movie, album, tv show, etc.. On February 1st , we will bring our first real episode discussing the movie Spider-Man Across the Spiderverse. Until then, this is all we have to offer. Information:You can follow this podcast on Twitter @impossible_podEmail: listenimpossible@gmail.comWebsite: Listen Impossible (buzzsprout.com)Try and give this podcast five stars. We dare you. 

En este episodio de Daniel Necesita que lo Escuchen, exploramos las impactantes realidades de los cultos notorios, evidenciando la deificación de la idiosincrasia y cómo los adeptos son atrapados en estas organizaciones. Destacamos el emocionante relato de Daniela Mestyanek Young, autora del libro 'Uncultured', quien comparte su vida dentro de la secta 'Children of God', su fuga a los 15 años, y cómo su experiencia en en culto se reflejó en su tiempo en el ejército. Daniela también nos regala su perspectiva sobre superar su trauma a través de la comedia y la crianza multicultural y multilingüe de su hija. No olvides suscribirte para acceder a contenido exclusivo 0:00 DNQL Final YT 06:27 El Libro 25:36 ESTÁ MAL CAPITALIZAR? 37:41 SU MAMÁ QUERÍA QUE ELLA SALIERA DEL CULTO 42:51 Cómo son los inicios dentro de un culto? 52:57 su familia sigue en el culto? 01:08:13 extranjera en su propio país 01:15:40 el ABC de los cultos --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/daniel-martinez653/message

It's a new year for Drunk & Uncultured, and we've updated our entire podcast set up. We're talking new microphone AND new computer. Since it's a new year, we're also talking about all of the things we're excited for: new album releases, upcoming tours, new movies, and new shows.

Tyler asks the boys to rank their top sports moments of 2023 (2:56), Alex breaks down the latest from the NBA (12:12), and Tradon gives us his NHL "holy puck" topics of the week (49:56).

Ever wonder about basic training in the military? What about how the BITE Model of Authoritarian Control applies to military personnel? With so many veterans who have returned to society, many do not seem to have been given the necessary psychological support to integrate and thrive. There is large amounts of active trauma as well as a high suicide rate. In 2022, Daniella Mestyanek Young acclaimed memoir Uncultured was published. It delved into being born into the Children of God sex cult, escaping, enlisting in officer's training and her experiences as one of the first women to be in active combat as an Army Captain in the Intelligence Corps in Afghanistan. Young has since earned her Master's in Industrial and Organizational Psychology from the Harvard Extension School and has been unpacking her life experiences in very important ways for people to understand. Join me for this fascinating and disturbing interview. Learn more about Steven Hassan and Freedom of Mind Resource Center. Visit freedomofmind.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Growing up abroad in the COG cult meant that Daniella Mestyanek Young was isolated from birth to be a subservient, s*x item for the men in the group. At 15, a few months before she was about to be "on the menu" she realized she needed to get out. We talk about how difficult it can be when leaving a cult and rediscovering one's identity along with learning how the world works. Daniella Mestyanek Young is an Author, a TEDx Speaker, a s*x-cult survivor, a US Army Combat Veteran, an extremely advanced knitter, and someone who studies & thinks a lot about toxic group behavior and leadership demagoguery.Click here to watch on YouTubeTo enter the "Uncultured: A Memoir" book giveaway do the following:1. On instagram, add a story saying why you liked this episode (video or text is ok)2. Tag @cultstoconsciousness and  @daniellamyoung_That's it!Daniella on social!TikTok: @daniellamestyanekyoungIG @daniellamYoung_Website: https://www.uncultureyourself.com/Amazon: "Uncultured: A Memoir"How Children of God is a cultCults often present as "shiny, happy, people"Learning young, how to respond to "outsiders" Daniella's "ah-hah" moments when she decided to escapeMarriage & forced polyamoryTW: Mentions of child sex abuseWhen Daniella starts rebelling to get kicked outHow Daniella escaped from Mexico to the US at 15When trauma catches up & finding identity without cultureFinding freedom after a cult & pushing backWhen did the REAL Daniella come out?TW: Mention of suicide ideationParenting and life for Daniella nowTips from Daniella about finding community after a cultOur C2C vacation where we can meet you in real life and go on adventures together has 7 spots left!  Click here to go to the official booking pageOur Merch! Patreon: Patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannAny donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcastWebsite CultsToConsciousness.comFind Shelise on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousnessHost Instagram @sheliseannTikTok @cults.to.consciousnessTwitter @cultstoconTheme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara**Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**

Chapters 2 & 3 of Northanger Abbey! We get the annotated version which has lots of fun footnotes. Catherine meets Henry Tilney, a massive flirt and muslin expert. Laurel learns about what “taking the water” means, and Akina tells us all about the history of muslin and her aversion to Christian music.  Culty topics include: cheung pyung, Lovin' life ministries What we're reading/watching/listening to: The Secrets of Hillsong, Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young Get in touch! We have a twitter!  We have a TikTok!  Email us: Janeaustenculturenight@gmail.com Hosted by Laurel Nakai and Akina Cox Music and Production by Laurel Nakai

Following their investigation into New Mount Carmel Center, Hadley and Alyssa resume their discussion of the infamous 1993 Waco siege. Hoping to better understand the actions of those embroiled in the conflict, they're joined by author and cult scholar Daniella Mestyanek Young, who, as a cult survivor and Army veteran with a Masters in Organizational Psychology, provides valuable insight into the perspectives of each side. Speaking to her own experiences, Daniella talks about growing up in the Children of God cult as well as her time serving in the Army, and the parallels she's noticed between those two chapters in her life. The hosts also pick her brain on all things coercive control, including how cult leaders utilize isolated locations and strict living conditions to control their followers. Wrapping up the episode, Alyssa and Hadley reflect on the stories they shared this season.  SWEEPSTAKES *IMPORTANT DISCLOSURE: Following @Darkhousepodcast and liking Darkhouse's ‘Uncultured' Memoir sweepstakes post is required to enter Darkhouse's ‘Uncultured' Memoir Sweepstakes and does not necessarily signify an endorsement of the brand or post.* NO PURCH. NEC. TO ENTER OR WIN. Darkhouse ‘Uncultured' Memoir Sweepstakes. Sponsored by Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. From 11/15/23 at 12:01 AM (ET) - 11/22/23, at 11:59 PM (ET), follow @Darkhousepodcast on Instagram and like Darkhouse's ‘Uncultured' Memoir sweepstakes post. Open to US, DC, & Canada (excluding Quebec) residents from age of majority. Void in Puerto Rico. Subj. to rules at https://www.housebeautiful.com/promotions/sweeps/a45701029/darkhouse-uncultured-memoir-sweepstakes-2023/. CREDITS Alyssa Fiorentino - Co-host & Producer Hadley Mendelsohn - Co-host & Producer Jessy Caron - Producer & Audio Editor To advertise on the show: https://www.advertisecast.com/DarkHouse or email us at sales@advertisecast.com.  RELATED LINKS ‘Uncultured: A Memoir' by Daniella Mestyanek Young: https://amzn.to/497qeIQ  ‘Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism' by Amanda Montell: https://amzn.to/406FPnQ  “Joaquin Phoenix and Rose McGowan Spent Their Early Years in a Religious Cult. Then it Became Infamous.” Esquire (ARTICLE): https://bit.ly/3Q7gTb9  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this episode Mayowa and Koj are joined by Adaorah Oduah, the writer and sound designer of Uncultured. Culture Custodian's latest scripted podcast. Again, please pardon the shitty connection. It was either this or nothing☹️☹️ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/submarine-and-a-roach0/message

Afrobeats — Is it a genre? A catch-all for West African music? The thread that connects the diaspora to its roots? Or all the above? On this episode Kalakuta Koj takes us on a journey through Nigeria's music history to trace the beginnings of Afrobeats. Joined by music historian, archivist and journalist Uche Ikonne, the two follow Afrobeats' past to its present to help the world better understand this new sonic sensation.This episode is the first of Culture Custodian's new podcast format, Uncultured. Uncultured is a show that uses stories and conversations with cultural connoisseurs to deep dive into Nigeria's history and bring you interesting answers to our most random and relevant questions, like – What is Afrobeats? What started Nigeria and Ghana's beef ? And why the nostalgia for old Nollywood all of a sudden?Subscribe; Spotify, Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Susanna Guarino - Religious Trauma in RelationshipsDivorced: Christian FundamentalismToday's guest is musician and therapist Susanna Guarino. Susanna is a licensed mental health counselor in private practice in NY specializing in religious trauma, spiritual abuse recovery, and couples' therapy. Susanna's own parents met in a neo-puritanical Christian cult. She spent a lot of her childhood learning fire and brimstone theology and memorizing verses from the King James Bible. FIND SUSANNA:website: http://www.goodearthcounseling.commusic: https://susannarose.bandcamp.com/track/winter-days and http://www.susannarose.comSusanna@goodearthcounseling.com RESOURCES MENTIONED·         Gottman Method https://www.gottman.com/·         Educated, by Tara Westover https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Educated_(book)·         Uncultured, by Daniella Mestyanek Young (speaking at CORT2023) https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/uncultured-daniella-mestyanek-young/1140777590·        CORT2023 https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/Support this podcast on Patreon (starting as low as $2/month) and get access to bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/janiceselbie Thanks to my newest patrons: Marie, Mary,  and Peter. Every dollar helps.Tickets now available for CORT2023: https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/Subscribe to the audio-only version here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcastFollow Janice and the Conference on Religious Trauma on Social Media: Mastodon: JaniceSelbie@mas.toTwitter: https://twitter.com/divorcereligionTwitter: https://twitter.com/Wise_counsellorTwitter: https://twitter.com/ComeToCORTFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligionTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janiceselbieInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/wisecounsellor/The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.Support the show

Living dynamics with your significant other will forever fluctuate & test the relationship but one dynamic that will never change is the brotherhood here at UNCULTURED, where honesty is always valued.

Today, we navigate the labyrinth of toxic leadership, cults, and the coaching industry with the guidance of Daniela Mestyanek-Young, a scholar known for her in-depth study of extreme groups and cults. Daniela takes us through her life story, of growing up in the Children of God, a notorious sex cult, and her transition to the U.S. Army, deftly drawing parallels between these two worlds.Daniela's work, as captured in her books 'Uncultured' sheds light on the power of binary thinking and its potential to drive radicalization. We examine the magnetism of charismatic leaders who dangerously make everything about themselves, and how this behavior is present in the coaching and entrepreneurial industry. Daniela highlights the tactics employed by these self-proclaimed leaders to control their followers, pushing a narrative of success and superiority, while also exploring the intersection of racism, patriarchy, and cults. But we aren't just about identifying the problems. We look at the possibilities for creating meaningful change in our industries, by amplifying the voices of people of color and challenging oppressive systems. We also talk about the importance of maintaining ground amidst the flurry of toxic gurus and leaders, and how to avoid the trap of human optimization. It's a powerful conversation that will make you question, scrutinize, and, ultimately, empower you to make informed decisions about the groups or leaders you follow. Join us as we reveal the disturbing truths behind cults, gurus, and the coaching industry.Daniela Mestyanek-Young Scholar of Cults, Extreme Groups and Extremely Bad Leadership MA, Organizational Psychology, Harvard Extension, Author, UNCULTURED: A Memoir   Get a copy: Digital, Audio, or HardcopyConnect with me at:www.uncultureyourself.comTikTok: @daniellamestyanekyoungInstagram: @_daniellamyounghttps://www.uncultureyourself.com/I'm Lynn Louise your business coach and Cosmic Valkyrie. On this podcast you will receive the tools you need to leave behind the hard work of the paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle that comes with employee mindset. I share ancient wisdom retrieved as I travel dimensions in nonlinear time. Wisdom merged with brain science and the CEO skillset you need to scale your business with ease and flow. You will learn how to harness your personal power and manifest a better quality of life. If you are ready to get your business off the ground join Lynn Louise's transformational FINANCIAL FREQUENCY 6 Month Hybrid Program! Make sure to join the Powerful Community of

TWiM explains how phages avoid tRNA-targeting host defenses, and discovery of a new antibiotic from an uncultured bacterium that binds to an immutable target. Hosts: Vincent Racaniello, Michael Schmidt, and Petra Levin, Become a patron of TWiM. Links for this episode Phages avoid tRNA-targeting host defenses (eLife) Sea phages Actinobacteriophage database New antibiotic from uncultured bacterium (bioRxiv) The age of infection (For Policy) Killing bacteria by teixobactin (Nature) Take the TWiM Listener survey! Send your microbiology questions and comments (email or recorded audio) to twim@microbe.tv

Dive with Lesley and Brad into the intricate world of cults and their underlying psychology. Gain insights into the red flags and concept of bounded choices that hint at cult-like behaviors.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Key red flags to be aware of when entering a group.Traits of cults and steps to take if you're entangled in one.Strategies to ensure your group or business remains cult-free.Tips on selecting trustworthy people to associate with.The significance of visualizing your desired future and planning in reverse.Episode References/Links:Join Our Coaching Team For Seven Days Of Tackling Your Biz StrugglesCambodia Pilates RetreatJoin our email list!Free WebinarDaniella Mestyanek Young's websiteEp 27: Is Your Hustle Now Just a Hassle? (ft. Kareen Walsh)  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Get your 15% discount for Toe Sox – use coupon code LESLEY15Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship Join us at our Cambodia Retreat - Oct. 8-13, 2023FREE Ditching Busy WebinarAmy Ledin - Episode 5: "How to take fast action against limiting beliefs" ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  One of the things to like be aware of is they do things in a coercive place, and she called it bounded choice. So you think you have fear, you start you think you have freedom, but really, there's this coercive control. There's this like pressure, like you think you could, like, maybe not come on a Thursday, but then everyone's like, "Why aren't you here?"Lesley Logan 0:12  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 0:19  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It Interview Recap where my co-host and my friend and I are going to talk about the illuminate (Brad: The what?)Lesley Logan 0:20  Leave it in. The illuminative. I saw that and I was like this is not gonna go out (Brad: Illuminative.) Illuminative? (Brad: Yeah.) You're gonna put that before her name? (Brad: Yeah.) Convo I had with Daniella Mestyanek Young. In our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen now. And like, I know I said this every week, but fucking go listen to that one.Brad Crowell 0:47  Oh, it's a great episode. Lesley Logan 0:48  She is amazing. And since then, she has been quoted in the, it was it was the Washington Post or The Wall Street Journal. Either one is still like, like badass like, not just like one quote, like, they did a whole profile on her because of like, like, because of the expertise she has in this topic. And so anyways, we're gonna get a little culty here. Well, actually, we're gonna get unculty is what we're gonna do in this episode.Brad Crowell 1:16  So congratulations. You're all cult members now? Lesley Logan 1:20  No, no, we are not a cult. We are a group. We are just a group.Brad Crowell 1:25  I know what it's the opposite of everything that she stands for. We are a group. That's what she stands for. We're just a group. Brad Crowell 1:32  We're just a group. It's a good group.Lesley Logan 1:33  You know, I think we talked about this in the podcast, we're going to do a segment she asked like, before we hit record, like, is Pilates like culty? And I said, oh, it can be (Brad: And you laughed.) I laughed. (Brad: Yeah.) I totally laughed. I said, it can be. It's like a scuff. Like a true scuff, right? And recently, I was traveling somewhere and it like, there are some people that might think that they're like part of a group. But like, if you can't go to another person's thing, because of the group you're in, that's a cult. (Brad: That's a cult.) You should be able to go and explore other groups without offending people in your group anyways,Brad Crowell 2:10  No, in no way shape, or form is one person 100% correct. (Lesley: No.) Literally not possible.Brad Crowell 2:18  I am on a fucking mission when it comes to the Pilates industry. And I'm, you know, I'll I'll probably die trying but I just I want people it's supposed to be fun. It's a fucking workout. And like you're never supposed to stop learning. And you can not agree with someone who could not like something that they do or the way that they do it. That doesn't mean you could only like someone else. Anyways, today is September 21, 2023. And it's World Gratitude Day. And this day aims to remind us of the importance of expressing gestures of thanks and appreciation. (Brad: I'm grateful for the 12 apostles of Pilates.)Lesley Logan 2:57  Hear you now. I actually really like this, because ways you can express gratitude, just like just just maybe like, maybe for maybe for the day, like, just set a reminder, like set a note that when you're procrastinating to just text, anybody in your contacts list. Hey, you know what, thanks for saying that one thing a month ago, I just thought of you. And I really remember when you said that, like, just try for one day to sending random acts of gratitude in your text messages. You have no idea whenever I get those from a friend. (Brad: Yeah.) It's like they always come at the time where you're like,Brad Crowell 3:31  You need them the most. Lesley Logan 3:32  When you're like, why the fuck do I even exist?Lesley Logan 3:36  So anyways, not to be dramatic. But seriously, it's really true. And, you know, and something that I did while I was traveling is I was like, waiting for a door to open. So I was scrolling through stories, which is like something I never do. And there was people who are posting things that are friends of mine or tangentially. And like, instead of responding in their DMs I texted them, my response would be in their DMs. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, because it's way more fun to text back and forth you know I did some voice text messages. Anyway, I could have done it. I could have done it, the DMs but it's complicated. And so I just, I also want people to see in there. I don't want people to scare their text messages. Like, you know, anyways, (inaudible) today. Brad Crowell 4:15  Yeah, I mean, even even if you don't have a specific thing that you're grateful for about them, just texting them and say, hey, I was thinking about you. Yeah, is magic. Yes. You know, so and I really encourage you to make a habit of if somebody pops into your head, tell them and you don't have to tell them what you thought about you can but it could just be like, hey, I was thinking about you hope you're loving life. Lesley Logan 4:41  Did we talk about this on the podcast about Tasha? Brad Crowell 4:43  We, actually we have, a couple weeks ago, Lesley Logan 4:47  Okay, yeah, I'm not kidding. Like me just thinking I just we we made a funny little voice note. I'm like, we're in my dreams. And it was like the thing she needed for that. Brad Crowell 4:57  Yeah, that was uplifting. Yeah. anyways, today's World Gratitude Day so you know, (Lesley: Go be grateful.) Do it. Be fucking grateful. Lesley Logan 5:05  This is your cult leader speaking. (Brad: Be grateful.) It felt like you were doing the as you wish.Brad Crowell 5:19  Yeah, right.Lesley Logan 5:21  We also we literally just wrapped up Agency Mini 9. Wow. Wow. Wow. So much fun. And I am going to have to learn how to like voice to text my computer for at least a week to get my finger.Brad Crowell 5:34  Oh, that's my jam. That's what I do now.Lesley Logan 5:36  I know I just don't think that any of the things understand my words at all. At all. Brad Crowell 5:44  Well, you can blame Siri for that.Lesley Logan 5:46  I don't know, maybe I don't speak English well.Brad Crowell 5:49  I think you're just fine. I think you're just fine.Lesley Logan 5:52  Well, Siri doesn't understand my accent. Anyways, we just wrapped it up. It was phenomenal. It was fucking amazing. It's brilliant. If you're like, Oh, my God, I missed it. You did? And the next one isn't until probably in six months. I don't actually have the dates in front of me. I don't think we've set them. And the truth is we do it twice a year. But we've been constantly only doing once a year. And we're where are we got a big team meeting coming up. So get on the waitlist. And we'll let you know when the next one is, it's profitablepilates.com/mini. And I'll put you on the waitlist for that. Anyways, you guys were amazing. You're awesome. And my only ask is that you take some action this week, take messy action. Take that information, because once you start to take action with it becomes less overwhelming.Brad Crowell 6:34  If you're wondering what Mini is it's a seven day brief snippet of our fitness business coaching program.Lesley Logan 6:41  I thought they were all on the cult. Brad Crowell 6:42  Yeah. No, we're not speaking a language that only cult members know. And it will help you lay the foundation of who you are, what it is that you do what you actually offer, who you're trying to connect with. And then how do you communicate that in a way that attracts those clients to you? And that's the key. You know, once you understand those things, what do you do with it? It's how you put that all out there and the way that you're speaking and the things that you're saying are going to attract the clients that you want to work with. So it's like an amazing week. It's absolutely worth you like exploring that. Whether you've been in business for two months or 20 years. You should do agency mini. So get yourself on the waitlist go to profitablepilates.com/mini.Lesley Logan 7:28  Yeah. And then we're a couple weeks away from getting our passes on the plane. Yeah, going to Cambodia, we'll be there for a while. (Brad: I could not wait) and it's actually gonna be really exciting because they've been making some massive changes to the infrastructure there. (Brad: Yeah, crazy changes.) Part of me is like, I really I'm grateful for the sidewalks it does mean I won't get ran over by tuk-tuk. But also, like there was something cool about like, walking (Brad: Field adventures.) while massive, like, huge buses like just like going by. (Brad: It totally do.) So anyways, we are so excited to be going there. We've got an incredible group, our house is full. If you are like someone who's like makesBrad Crowell 8:10  We're taking one of the two rooms that our manager has. (Lesley: Oh, we are?) Yeah. (Lesley: We moved her out? (Brad: Well, not moved her out. But she sent her kids to her dad's their dad's place.) (Lesley: Oh, that's amazing.) Yeah. Because we needed the rooms. Lesley Logan 8:25  Yeah. Well, that's so cool. So anyways, we'll be there for a few weeks. And if you are wanting to go on the next one, because the reality is, is that unless you really love flying (inaudible) and booking a trip across the world in two weeks, or maybe you live in Thailand, you want to come if you visit LesleyLogan.co/retreat.Brad Crowell 8:43  Very easy to come from Singapore, PS.Lesley Logan 8:44  Yeah, and also like (Brad: Singapore, India, you know, it's all very quick.) Yeah, it's all very, very quick. You can also come from any other place in the world. It's just a little longer. And then November, we'll be I'll be in Chicago, with Erika Quest. So we've got some workshops going on over there. Brad Crowell 9:04   And stay tuned on the Instagrams for that. Lesley Logan 9:06  Yeah, or our email list. So you can do that.Brad Crowell 9:11  Go to opc.me/email. Lesley Logan 9:13  Oh, perfect. Do that. And then we'll on December, we'll be back on our winter tour. We're actually in meetings as we, as this episode drops on what that tour is going to look like and cities and all that. So we should have those details out. And they will be of course announced here, but mostly if you are on that, if you're on the email, Brad Crowell 9:32  Yeah, but it's actually opc.me/emails I got that wrong. It's plural,Lesley Logan 9:36  Plural, plural. This team will get it. Okay. We want to get all into Daniella but firstly, the audience question. Brad Crowell 9:44  We do, we have a question. So this week, we had a question from when you were recently in Poland, and you were there teaching a workshop and it was basically was mostly about Controllogy right. I mean, it was a, it was a classical Pilates conference. Yes, it was you and Karen Frischmann. And then also Jay zoomed in, right. Yes. Jay zoomed in. So fun. Yeah, amazing. Lesley Logan 10:10  It was so fun. I thought he was just gonna like do a Q&A. Because Jimmy Buffett died. I wouldn't had margaritas with a couple girls for like, I don't know, Jimmy Buffett is like, Oh, my God, we must have margaritas. And we had a margarita upstairs. We came downstairs, I jumped into the mat class.Brad Crowell 10:25  Oh, like you do?Lesley Logan 10:27  I was so sore the next day, but I think it actually helped me relax.Brad Crowell 10:32  Well, the question that you got there was, how is it possible that you do all the things that you do and still have a life? How do you balance your work and your life?Lesley Logan 10:41  So I love this question. Shout out to Ivana, she asked, actually, she asked Jay, a really awesome question similar to this. She asked him like, what do you do about the clients who just want you to like, work them out? You know? And so he was on us? And then she was just like a question. Like, I think people have these questions, and they don't ask it. So clearly, people think I have work life balance, and I'm gonna tell you right now, balance is a lie. And when I told so here's just, here's the thing, our yoga teacher, Brad, he told us that balance is the art of not falling over, right? Like in a handstand, or a headstand, the ability to hold that is you maneuver in between, like leaning too much one way and then you correct and then you might overcorrect and things like that. And so what what I try to get people to understand is like, stop striving for balance. Also, what balance is to you on a Monday is very different to what balance to use on Friday. Or if you have kids, maybe there's a different version of balance when they're in school versus when they're at home. And so, so I don't search for balance, I search for making sure my schedule fills my cup, every single day. So I can show up for what the task is at hand. And I tried to make sure it's really hard for us, because there's two of us. And so sometimes when you're working it's different than when I'm working. And sometimes you have a question about work. And I'm like, but I'm not working right now. The answer is this is first, we actually do have a free webinar about how I create a schedule, which also talks about my scheduling tool, but you can just you can enjoy that or just watch that. I think it's called I think it's is it ditchingbusy.com?Brad Crowell 12:25  Yeah, I was just looking that up almost positive. That's what it is. Yeah.Lesley Logan 12:28  So did you ditchingbusy.com. It's a free webinar. It's all my business stuff. But like, it explains how I created a schedule, (Brad: It is. ditchingbusy.com) So it's free, go enjoy. It's how I create a schedule. Yeah. It's also something I teach in Agency Mini, but what every morning has in it are the things that helped me fill my cup, so I can show up for the rest of the day. And I also know the signs that I'm out of balance. And I think that's very important. What are the symptoms that you like? Are you cranky? Do you snap at people? Are you exhausted at the end of the day? What are those signs, so that you can actually look at the next day and see if there's anything you can take off your plate. And ladies, I know you don't like to cancel your friends, like you want to be that person. But you can just say, I'm actually really overwhelmed right now. And there's nothing more I want to do is see you but you don't want to see me right now. Because I'm not going to be the best awesome person. That is way better than us showing up. What Why are you laughing?Brad Crowell 13:24  Just remembering that dinner? (Lesley: What dinner?) The one where we had someone tell us that they just weren't ready to be present in this exact moment. So I'm gonna excuse myself.Lesley Logan 13:37  Yeah, she already called an Uber by the way. I you know, it's part of me and like, it's like,Brad Crowell 13:42  I look preempted, don't show up. And then pleaseLesley Logan 13:45  Try to do it before you get there. Anyways, because like also, it just is so weird. But the reality is you have the more you get to know yourself. And the more you acknowledge like that, when you just say like, I am not imbalanced right now I am out of balance that can take a whole load off and then ask yourself, what are the what what happened to get you here? Are you maybe like when we have a launch going on? You think Agency Mini is balance? No, no. Here's what we do, though. So we can show up. We have our morning routines are on point, we have our food delivered. We do not miss our workouts, but we do not go out to dinner with people. We do notBrad Crowell 14:27  We try to we try to remove everything else that from the entire week if we if we possibly can.Lesley Logan 14:32  Yeah, if we possibly can. We're really clear like the beginning of the week, we can probably have a meeting or two but towards the end of the week. It's an absolute zero, no, nothing other than that. But the week before and the week after we are we're giving ourselves we'll also give ourselves an opportunity to get things ready so we can be so we're sleeping where we're making sure we have time to ourselves. In fact, we take days off. So the point of this is to sum it up too long to read watch the webinar and to stop trying to find balance. And just be honest with yourself. Are you in a season where you're building something up? (Brad: Yeah) If so, what are you going to do to rest and repair and refuel. And if you're in a season of like, hey, everything's flowing smooth, then enjoy that, and let your creativity juices fly, but stop going, oh my God, I've gotta like, every days with the perfect day, this is not the 1950s. And by the way, y'all they were not actually that happy. All the movies make it look, they're so happy. They were having Manhattan's every night, and like not telling each other was going on. SoBrad Crowell 15:32  I think I think the the idea of like, balance with work and life, ultimately, it comes down to the decision you make in and what's going to what, what's too much you'll know, because you're very unhappy, your fried or your you know, all those things. And realizing, you know, when you've crossed that threshold of holy cow, because like, you know, I mean, we are business owners, right? We, we work all day, work all day, every day. But we don't think about it that way. I'm not like if something breaks at 10pm. Guess what I have to fix it, have to, you know, so but, you know, I might take two to 3pm and take a walk, you know, so it's your choice of what you're doing and when you're doing it, and what you need to realize is that you're that's what that balance is is like, hey, you know what, I have a light afternoon, I think I'm gonna take advantage of it. Like last Friday, I went out to lunch with our neighbor. And I mean, I haven't seen him in like six months. So it's weird that we will live next to each other and we never get the chance to go out. But I didn't have any meetings booked, which is abnormal. And I was like, let's take advantage of this and actually take the afternoon. And we went and we just hung out. Right and so sometimes that happens and other times I have to work during the afternoon and that's okay. Brad Crowell 15:54  Yeah. And then just like a quick tip if you are someone who's an overscheduler you see an empty space in your calendar, you're like yes, I can fit that in. Then you to block in like actual like schedule actual rest breaks. You also cannotBrad Crowell 17:12  I had to put lunch directly into my schedule. I don't remember to do if I don't have lunch in my schedule. I forget to eat. Lesley Logan 17:18  I think we did that two years ago. And it was like one of the best things that ever happened for either one of us. Yes, No body books calls. Anyways, there's just different hacks you have to do and then also just because the people around you are hustling like crazy, doesn't mean that you're hustling something different. That reminds me what ended on this Kareen, Episode 53? She was at 53.Brad Crowell 17:39  I'm we're gonna find out.Lesley Logan 17:41  She said might have been 23 but I feel like it's 53 I feel like she wasn't as early as everyone else. My friends, but she saidBrad Crowell 17:51  You were definitely off the mark, 27. (Lesley: 27. 20 was my second guess.) She was early. Episode 27 Kareen Walsh.Lesley Logan 18:00  She said, "Don't let your hustle become a hassle." And I think when she said that, that's kind of like a like a thing. Like if I feel really big, I'm working really hard. If it starts to feel like a hassle, like, oh my God, then I go, okay, what's going on here? Yeah. When did I say yes to these things? I think ladies, we tried to do everything like that, that I, somebody just followed, posted something because like, I don't know which magazine but Paris Hilton was on the cover. And they're like, look, she's like, rock and being a mom and a full-time business owner and this she's got all the things figured out. And I was like, What the fuck? When are we going to stop telling ladies that that's possible? No fucking way Paris Hilton has it all figured out? No offense, Paris. You're awesome. But there's, you have nannies. You have housekeepers. You have chefs, you have cooks, you have someone organizing your sets. The way they wrote the title was a Paris Hilton is like doing it all. And she can because she has a team. So if you are solo, you cannot do it all. You can only do what is possible in the amount of time you have. And the more you take care of yourself, the more you can get things done, period. Okay, now.Brad Crowell 19:11  Let's move on.Lesley Logan 19:13  Send your questions into the pod. We love them.Brad Crowell 19:16  Yeah, ask those questions. Lesley Logan 19:17  We love them.Brad Crowell 19:18  Okay, now let's talk about Daniella Mestyanek Young, a former intelligence officer, renowned scholar on cults and the compelling voice behind the memoir, Uncultured. Her life journey from the confines of a religious sect cult to the frontlines of the US Army is a testament to resilience and the power of transformation. (Lesley: She's a badass.) She's badass. (Lesley: She's an intelligence officer in the military)Brad Crowell 19:43  In her like mid to late 20s. Lesley Logan 20:04  Yes, yeah. Yes. And that's, by the way, (Brad: who is in the field) who is in the field. She was one of the first women allowed in field. And also she ran a virtual Boston Marathon and she won for the military. (Brad: Really?) And like, yes, yes. (Brad: How do you do that?) And she met Obama, and she was one of the few officers like invited. Yeah. Oh, no, no way. Yeah, you gotta listen to the book. You got to do it. We like we have like, this is, by the way. This is badass. Like, like, you know, fucking amazing human being. I listened. I found her on a cult show I listened to and I DM-ed her and she was like, Yeah, sounds so fun. And she like, I was just like, oh my god, I'm getting Daniella on the show. So great. Anyways, um, she's just really honest. And also she had all of that without having a formal education guys. She didn't go to school until high school. So, yeah. (Brad: Oh, I didn't know that.) No, the Children of God don't teach them how to read anything. Yeah, anyways. Okay, you gotta read the book. Warning, it is difficult. They're like, if you there's a trigger on like, the sex abuse that is in there. But it's also so important that we actually know what these places are doing. Because you got to know the science guys, you gotta know the science. So go read the book. So okay, I love so many things. But she she gave advice on what a cult disguise could look like. And of course, she said nobody joins a cult. And that's true.Brad Crowell 21:34  Yeah, that I found. I found really interesting. You know that you don't realize that it is what it is.Lesley Logan 21:41  Well, everyone else say I would never join a cult. (Brad: Right.) Like, okay, (Brad: Well, me neither.) Well, me neither. Of course not. But like, in L.A. there's so many cults. Brad Crowell 21:51  There are so many cults.Lesley Logan 21:52  Oh my god. There's so many cults. Brad Crowell 21:54  Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's a Erawan cult.Lesley Logan 21:58  Shut up. I mean, maybe there's a small one that I don't know who's leading it. But I will say like, there were some books there was there. First of all, NXIVM was notorious for doing their workshops in L.A., there was landmark that everyone in their mother was like trying to get you to come to their graduation, which by the way, was a cult. Sorry, there. But don't sue me. But like there's so many in L.A., obviously, Scientology being the biggest one. (Brad: Right.) Every time we drove by that church, I just like oh, my god, can they see us? Do they have our license plate number? Drive fast. But anyway, she said no one joins a cult, they join a group that is doing something that is feeding their soul. And even there was like yoga classes that were so cultish.Brad Crowell 22:45  I just, I gotta hop in here. I just found a Yelp listing for the top 10 Best religious cults near Los Angeles, California.Lesley Logan 22:58  Oh, my God is (inaudible). Brad Crowell 23:00  No, I mean, but it's funny. They're like, it's it's a lot of churches.Lesley Logan 23:04  Yeah. So but the but people join a place that feeds their soul, they join things that are doing like this. They join things that are like making an impact on the world that aligns with your values. And so she actually said that people listening to this podcast are likely to be people who could end up joining a cult because you are seekers, seekers of information, right. So. So they give you these big missions. And of course, you're a part of it. Now, there are just groups. I like to think that we are just a group. But she said like there are some red flags that you should look into, especially in the recruiting thing. So, we'll kind of get into that in a second. But like, one of the things to like be aware of is they do things in a coercive place, and she called it bounded choice. So you think you have fear, you start you think you have freedom, but really, there's this coercive control. There's this like pressure, like you think you could, like, maybe not come on a Thursday, but then everyone's like, why aren't you here? For example, one of my clients went to this weekend event, and she decided she didn't like it on day two. So she decided to come to my class. And in my call during my class, her phone was texted four times, or four times in an hour going, where are you why didn't you come? Why don't you get on a call with us let's see if we can get you back? It's like, if she can't miss the third day, that she paid for. It is her choice to not be there. If you are like, dragging her back. And there's something weird going on.Brad Crowell 24:35  Yeah, I mean, I just wanted to rip rip down the top the 10 things that she does, like how she considers a cult, defines a call. So, number one, there's a charismatic leader. Number two, there's a single sacred assumption that all of the people assume. Number three, there's a transcendent mission. Number four, there's self-sacrifice required. Five limiting access to the outside world six, unique language meaning like, like we were joking about at the beginning of this episode about Agency Mini. And if you don't know what that means, then you're not in the cult, right? Like that's the unique language. Then the next is an us versus them mentality, then exploitation of the members, high exit cost. Maybe you lose your community, your friends, all that you're ostracized. And then lastly, it. It should eventually shifts into an ends justify the means mentality.Lesley Logan 25:33  Oh, yeah. So here's what's interesting. While I was in Poland, one of the people was talking to they had, they had stopped working with one of the groups, I won't name it in the Pilates world, because they had this like summit where they brought in all of their teachers. And they said, Well, these things are the things that you can teach. But if you want to teach these things, you have to be part of the inner circle, because we have to trust (Brad: There's a fucking inner circle?) She said, she's got a fucking said inner circle, and like, oh, do they not know how to build a cult, you're not supposed to actually say that. That's the quiet part. You don't say out loud.Brad Crowell 26:08  By joke, seriously, like,Lesley Logan 26:12  and someone else we coach was like, I want to do this thing. But like, it's not clear if I can do this thing. And there have been people who've done this thing, and they've been kicked out. And there's other people who didn't do this thing. And they didn't get kicked out nice. And the particular thing that she was doing Brad Crowell 26:23  The reality of kicked out, that's the that's one of the problems. I mean, that's a problem. Lesley Logan 26:27  And I said to her, I said, you're in a cult. Now, it might not feel like one but the fact that you can't provide this thing that is in no way a threat to them. And in fact, all it's doing is propelling the mission that should be theirs forward. That scares me for you. (Brad: Yeah.) And the fact that you're worried that you could be ex like excommunicated ex, is that the right word? (Brad: Yeah, basically) that makes me nervous.Lesley Logan 26:27  That's very religious, but yes, excommunicated.Lesley Logan 26:35  So some people say Pilates is a religion. But at any rate, like it shouldn't, if you have those fears, that can be your own family, by the way, like if there are things you can't say or do or be in your own family, because fear of like them, not speaking to you. That's a little bit culty.Brad Crowell 27:15  Yeah, I mean, we were just in England, and we were with one of our members who married someone from India. Oh, and she is from England. And she's not the same religion. (Lesley: Oh, she's Australian) oh sorry, she's Australian living in England, but she's not the same religion. And his family cut them out. (Lesley: Yeah) that's fucking cult. Lesley Logan 27:39  Yeah. So um, so you're probably wondering how can this be it till you see it, because you are a seeker. And I want to make sure you're armed with the right information so that as you're being until you see it, and as you're getting information out there, you don't end up accidentally in a group that is using you, using your amazingness. And we'll talk more about that in the next week's episode. Because that guest on narcissism is amazing. Anyways, I can keep going, but you should tell us what you loved.Brad Crowell 28:05  Yeah. So I thought this was interesting, in that she had a couple of examples of cult leaders that you would know that I don't remember their names. But she said, I know the mom. Yeah, I know, you know them all. If people are self-proclaiming that they're a guru. Be cautious. Be aware of this. Because they, you know, when someone puts themselves up on this high pedestal, and then tells you, you know, I am the authority, or I am the guru of the thing. Lesley Logan 28:42  I have all the answers here. I'm the one who knows, I'm the closest to right, you know, yeah.Brad Crowell 28:48  Yeah. You know, she said, actually, in fact, coaching can become this. Teachers can become this, you know, anybody that you put in a place of authority, it is, you know, it's she was talking about, like, you could be doing everything right. And then like, somehow it shifts and suddenly it like, becomes a cult and not like a group. Right? So the reality is that if they are out there telling you that they're the only authority that they're the only one or that they know what's right. And they can, they can, they're the only one that can help you like all major warning signs. Yeah, right that you've got somebody who, you know, is totally a narcissist, which we are going to talk about on our next episode, and they are effectively trying to manipulate you. Yeah. Whether they realize they're doing it or not, they're doing it. Right. Whether you realize they're doing it or not, hopefully you can identify that they're doing this. Lesley Logan 29:47  I think after we ended the podcast. So I'm gonna help like, you know, you do sales calls with people. And we're very clear with people like, this might not be the right group for you. And it's not because we don't want to help you. But if we're not the right person, like I've joked on the podcast before like, I'm not a taco not everyone's gonna like me. Sure, that's okay. Because like, there is someone out there who can lead you in all the different things that we do. If it's if I'm not the right one, or it's not the right time. And it's important that people know that. And I think like, I just think it's a little. I know that like, when you're lost, you just want answers. (Brad: Yeah.) But you have to also remember, like you have everything you need inside you. And really just surrounding yourself with people who want to support and guide versus be the hero (Brad: That's key. That's exactly right.) Someone who can guide you from this point to that point. And that doesn't mean once you get to that next point, that they're still your guide, you might pick up a different guide along the way.Brad Crowell 30:44  Yeah. And I think that's the that's like, the language that they're using, the way that they portray themselves the way that they perceive themselves, you might not be able to understand all that right away. But you're exactly right, like the person who wants to be there to support you and your growth, and be a guide along a path that they may have already taken. That's a win. But a person who is like, oh, I can show you how I'm the only person that has been where you are, I know how this works. You need to listen to me. That's a problem. You know, so she actually like what are the things I was talking about the 10 things and the 10 definitions, like how she defines a cult. And she said the second one, which I thought was really interesting, is a single sacred assumption. So all the people in the group have this single sacred assumption. And you can't you better not say the other way, because then everyone's gonna be like, What are you saying? Right, the single sacred assumption. So she was talking about NXIVM and Keith Raniere, and he told all of his NXIVM people, I am the smartest man alive. (Lesley: Oh, yeah.) And everyone fucking believed him. They just went along with it. So as a group, everyone was like, oh, yeah, Keith. Yeah, he's the smartest man alive. He's the smartest man alive. And it just was like, inherently, indoctrinating all these people with this weird decision that he's like, I'm the smartest man alive. So guess what, everything he says they're gonna fucking do. Because why would you defy the smartest man alive? (Lesley: He's so smart.) Right? So you know, that's like, you know, yeah, it's kind of crazy. It's just really fascinating to listen to this conversation. And then, you know, she talks about how, why she didn't become like a life coach, and instead decided to get degrees was because of her experience, being in cults, and seeing how it's very easy for, like life coaches, or coaches or teachers in general, to cross that boundary and become like cult leaders. Lesley Logan 32:55  I also think that like, it's, it's probably not intentional in the beginning.Brad Crowell 33:00  I don't think it starts off intentional, no. Lesley Logan 33:02  In the beginning, because like, I think like, first of all, especially if words of affirmation or your love language, like people are telling you, oh, my God, this helped me and we got this help me and you're like, Oh, my God, if you get this out to everybody, and then like, you keep going. And then at some point, you don't have anyone around you telling me telling you like, no, like, I'll have these ideas. And you guys are very quick to go. I love that idea. Not for now, or actually, like, let's we do that we do this. And not to say that I'm gonna become a cult leader, but I, but like, it's important to have people around you who will like challenge you on your ideas. It doesn't mean I won't fight for them. But it also keeps me from like, just continuing to go as if I'm the only person who knows what the fuck does the right thing to do. Yeah, and then bringing people along with me. And so I don't think people are born going to be a cult leader. But if they can't go that way, becauseBrad Crowell 33:56  Unless you watch the Umbrella Academy, but yes, no. (Lesley: Oh, really? I did not watch that.) You didn't. It's okay. The Umbrella Academy is a sci-fi show where this one of the characters inadvertently becomes a cult leader. And he's like, I love that I'm a cult leader. This is the most amazing thing. It's ridiculous. Lesley Logan 34:12  I watched how to become a cult leader. (Brad: Yeah.) Which is like just like a little satirical, because it's like, obviously it's it's really about like how these people became leaders. And I think it's, I really enjoyed it because in case anybody in your family is in one that can be extremely stressful and it can also take you off your path of like what you're doing on this planet. Because you're you can't snap them out of it like it like you telling them they're in a cult is just going to make them stay. So at any rate, like again, I really wanted to haveBrad Crowell 34:44  I think I think like liberating people from cults is a whole another conversation. Lesley Logan 34:50  Oh, that's a whole another (inaudible).Brad Crowell 34:54  If you're wondering if you're starting a cult right now, chances are unlikely that you are since you have that self-inflection.Lesley Logan 35:01  Go. Yeah, it's like the narcissist thing. Go and look at her top 10 things. Read her book which is so so good.Brad Crowell 35:08  Oh, which is called Uuncultured. Lesley Logan 35:09  Uncultured. Read her book because I also (Brad: Or listen to it.) I really loved how she shared she used the things that she saw in the people of her of the Children of God, when mistakes happen. And she saw it in the face of the men in the military when something happened. She's like, something's wrong here. Like she knew. (Brad: Yeah.) So like, I think that's really good information. And I again, I wanted to have this person on because I, as you listen to this, and you get inspired by people we've had on the podcast, or and you're working on taking the next step in your life. It's so easy for you to end up go going off your path of being it till you see it and being on someone else's path of a cult. So anyway.Brad Crowell 35:52  Yeah, well, let'sLesley Logan 35:57  Let's do the Be It Action. Brad Crowell 35:58  Yeah, hang out real quick. We'll be right back. Brad Crowell 35:59  All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Daniella Mestyanek Young?Lesley Logan 36:14  What are your favorites? Brad Crowell 36:45  Yeah, so her bold advice was? Imagine yourself like so. Okay, just to clarify she is, I can't remember what she studied, when she went to school. When she went to Harvard. And anyway, I can't remember exactly what the degree she got. But it was something to do with like, sociology and and the study of people. And she said, imagine yourself when you're 80 and ask, how do you start to backwards plan your life so that you can get to that place? And you know, this is like old school advice. I you know, I've heard about this when I was when I was younger, but it's something that you kind of forget about. Yeah. And I like bringing it back and be and like looking at it and saying, well, what does 80 look like for me? Do you want to be surrounded with like, 8000 grandchildren? Do you want to be on a sailboat sailing around the world? Do you want to be retired in Asia? Do you want to, I don't know, whatever. Like my parents' version of this would innocent me guessing. But my dad has always loved the ocean. And my mom loves it, too. And so they've always wanted to be at a house near the water. And they've been planning for it almost their whole life. Like literally, it took them like 20, almost almost 20 years to get a house near the water. They got a house 20 years ago, that was two miles from the water. And 15 years later, or 16 years later, they finally were like, this isn't close enough. And they were the whole time they were there. They are shopping for the right house. Right? So they were thinking about these things decades ago. Right? And so what do they need to do in order to retire near the ocean? They need, clearly a place to live. So they worked backwards from this ultimate dream that they have this vision that they had of themselves when they were retired. And like it continues, right? Like my mom got this. This, she had this idea where they got this house that about three or four years ago now. And it was not in great shape. But my parents love projects like this.  Lesley Logan 38:58  They do. And your sister picked up another project, she got, it's in the blood.Brad Crowell 39:02  Oh, geez. Yeah. Well, my mom's mom is now in her middle 80s. And, you know, there may come a point where she needs like in home care. And so my mom thought, well, what if we took this house that we want to retire in? And we created, like a first floor plan, where we could have like a guest house on the same level as the primary plan before so that, you know, if you're 89, you're not going up and downstairs basically. Right. And so they've been already thinking ahead, planning, maybe we could support you know, grandma, and then someday, that might support them in that same house, right? Yeah. So they're just you know, thinking ahead, working backwards from this ultimate vision that you have for yourself and this takes inflection, time to sit down and actually think through it. Lesley Logan 39:54  Do you want us to go about this also bold advice? (Brad: Tell me.) The way fitness works is like, if you want to be able to pick up your grandkids at 80, you have to be training your body for that now.Brad Crowell 40:07  Yeah. Yeah, like the age of eight. So yeah, you might have already missed the boat. Lesley Logan 40:12  You did. No, I'm kidding. But like, but like, seriously, because Brad Crowell 40:17  I think I started around 32. Lesley Logan 40:18  Yeah. So if you had, like, if you picture yourself in your old age, like, if you do want to go up the stairs, if you want to, like have your beautiful house, like beautiful master bedroom suite with a balcony, whatever, then you have to be able to go up the stairs at 40 without even thinking about it. Yeah, maybe 50 flights of stairs. So that like as we age, like things like decline. But it's really incredible. Because I have seen people in this, you know, age is really just a number because like, I've seen people at 80 who can do things that like, you're like, whoa, that's phenomenal. Like there's a 63 old woman who was like doing this like, crazy deadlift that like Brad Crowell 40:58  200 pounds, 230 pounds? I saw it.Lesley Logan 41:00  There was another woman who was dead lifting as much as you and my dad was, and I was like, okay, I need to step it up if I want to be because I'm 40 she's 23. So like, 23 years older than me. I better get going if I wasn't able to do that at 63. Anyways, I love that advice. Okay, Brad Crowell 41:15  Yeah, well, so if you're stuck and trying to figure out what life could look like for you at 80 Daniella's advice was, go through all your senses. Okay. Focus on your senses. What are you seeing? What are you hearing? What are you smelling? Tasting? Feeling? What is what is that? What is happening around you? And then how can you plan your life backwards from there? She said, that we only have one life to live. We all know this. But she asked, What do you want out of it? And, you know, I don't know. I think it's funny. Like, we have these ambitions and these goals and these things, but like, do we actually sit down and say what do I want out of life? You know, so do that. Do that. Okay. All right. What about you? Lesley Logan 42:08  Well, after that, I don't know. I actually really loved this, she said, in relation to like bold advice or getting advice from others. She said, listen to all of it. And I was like, okay, like when she said that, I'm not gonna lie. Instead, I was like, should you go like, (Brad: Should you what?) listen to all the advice, listen to all the advice, getting advice, like, you know, getting advice from others, she said, listened to all of it. And I was like, Ooh, I disagree on this. But then she said, however, yeah, if it's negative advice, only listen to the people who've done what you're trying to do. Brad Crowell 42:46  Which is like, drop that fucking microphone that is humongous. Like it's such a, that was such a lightbulb moment for me when she said that I was like, Oh, my God. How come? I've never thought about that before?Lesley Logan 42:56  Right? Like, you know, we, we talk like, we have people who want to do on demand memberships. And since we do them, yeah, I say hello. I think it's a great idea. I can absolutely reach those needs. Here are some things you need to keep in mind. And it's not to deter, but it's to actually like, if I could do it all over again, knowing those things, what would I have done differently? And because no one's gonna get it right the first time. You can learn from that. Yeah. And so anyways, I thought that was really, really, really great and Brad Crowell 43:27  Well, I think so. So here's a good example.Lesley Logan 43:30  Well, she had a great example of her own life. (Brad: Oh, go ahead.) Is it okay if I share it? (Brad: Do it.) So she wanted to write a book. And she wanted to write it, like at the book Educated inspired her and she's like, oh, I want to write that. And there's all these naysayers (inaudible)Brad Crowell 43:44  It's an epic book about cults, PS. Educated.Lesley Logan 43:47  It's less about cults and more, it's, it's more about (inaudible)Brad Crowell 43:51  It's the story of a woman's experience where she grew up in what didn't know was a cult. Lesley Logan 43:58  It's a cult of her family. Yeah. Was a family cult. So you know, but, and she is about like, people who are living in rural areas who are not educated. You know? So anyway, she wanted to write that book. And people were like, you can't do that. There's, that's not going to work.Brad Crowell 44:15  Well, no, they said that there's no way you can be Educated, Educated was such a box office hit as far as books go, you know, don't even bother trying.Lesley Logan 44:26  Yeah. And but four years later, she actually did it. And, and it was along the lines of Educated. Yeah, and The Glass Castle. And what's really funny is Roy Vaden, who was on a couple weeks ago, he actually has a really big thing that like you when you're pitching an idea, you actually should pitch it in the vein of comparing to something like say, it's the educated book, but for cults, or like, it's this for about like the American Idol version of this and it's because people can't envision something that's brand new if it's ever happened, they need to hear it how it's like something else. So but If she listened to the people who'd written books, who were like what their advice was so that she could still do what she wanted to do and not like the people around her went, oh my god, you'll never be the number one best selling book on this topic. Right? You know, which was like, Well, how do they know but like, especially when it's your idea and it's baby and this goes back to Nikole Mitchell's episode, like you have to like, be mindful of who you're telling information to, you know? Lesley Logan 45:44  Daniella, you're phenomenal. Congratulations. You are just getting started really on this incredible journey and the impact you're going to make on this planet not as a cult leader, but as a guide on like, how to make sure that we show up as boldly as we can and have the effects we want to have on this planet but without getting involved with a cult. I'm Lesley Logan,Brad Crowell 46:06  I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 46:07  Thank you so much for listening. Make sure you listen to our interview recaps our FYF's and how are you going to use this in your life? Who are you going to send it to? We want to know so tag Daniella, tag the Be It Pod and oh by the way if you don't watch the pod on YouTube, this one is got multiple things going on because shout out to Daniella who can knit without even looking down. (Brad: Oh yeah.) and talk the whole time. Brad Crowell 46:34  Yeah. And look true supporters of the pod watch the YouTube channel. Okay? (Lesley: Just saying.) That is self-sacrifice. (Lesley: Brad!) Just watch the YouTube, though and if you don't watch the YouTube channel then you're out.Lesley Logan 46:45  There's a JK in all of that, you guys. Have a great day and Be It Till You See It.Brad Crowell 46:45  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 46:45  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. Brad Crowell 46:45  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 46:45  It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo. Brad Crowell 46:45  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 46:45  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell 46:45  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

A former cult member, Daniella delves deep into group dynamics, drawing from her past experiences. She highlights the red flags of cult behaviors and contrasts them with the hallmarks of genuine communities. Tune in for a compelling exploration of the fine line between coercion and authentic communities.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Daniella's personal transition from cult life to clarity.The characteristics that define high control groups.Techniques to identify underlying cult behaviors.When and why to question self-proclaimed gurus.Episode References/Links:Follow Daniella Mestyanek Young on IGDaniella Mestyanek Young's Unculture Yourself WebsiteDaniella Mestyanek Young on TiktokDaniella Mestyanek Young's Book Uncultured: A MemoirEducated: A Memoir by Tara WestoverCulting of America by Ron RhodesScarred by Sarah EdmondsonGuest Bio:Daniella Mestyanek Young is the author of UNCULTURED and a scholar of cults and extreme groups, and extremely bad leadership. Daniella was raised in the religious sex cult, The Children of God. She later served as an intelligence officer for the US Army, making the rank of Captain, and became one of the first women in US Army history to conduct deliberate ground combat operations when she volunteered to serve on a Female Engagement Team, and received the Presidential Volunteer Service Award. Daniella lives with her husband and daughter in Maryland, and holds a master's degree in industrial and organizational psychology from the Harvard Extension School. Daniella is an organizational development speaker with the Macmillan Speaker's Bureau, and you can see her TEDx talk here. In the vein of Educated and The Glass Castle, Daniella Mestyanek Young's Uncultured is more than a memoir about an exceptional upbringing, but about a woman who, no matter the lack of tools given to her, is determined to overcome. Uncultured is "a propulsive memoir delivered in the honest tones of a woman who didn't always think she'd live to tell her story,” (NYT) it's a book which explores the dangers unleashed when harmful group mentality goes unrecognized, demonstrates the “dangers of blindly following leaders of any stripe” (Kirkus Review) and is emblematic of the many ways women have to contort themselves to survive.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship Join us at Agency Mini - Sept. 10-16, 2023Join us at our Cambodia Retreat - Oct. 8-13, 2023FREE Ditching Busy WebinarAmy Ledin - Episode 5: "How to take fast action against limiting beliefs" ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Daniella Mestyanek Young 0:00  Because, you know, I was sort of in your world of, you know, entrepreneurship, and how am I going to do this? And what am I going to do? Am I a speaker on my own author? Am I a teacher, and somebody told me, you know, I don't know if there's a market for your stories, because I don't know if nice girls from Milwaukee who've never had anything bad happened to them can relate. And I just immediately went to I was like, first of all, I don't think there is such a thing. As a girl who's never had anything bad happened to her. I think all women can think back to being six years old and being afraid and wishing they had a fairy godmother to give them a different life.Lesley Logan 3:25  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 5:08  Hi, Be It babes. Okay, so I'm super excited because I heard today's guest on a podcast a little bit culty. I'm constantly intrigued, and always making sure that I'm not in a cult or creating one. And when I heard this amazing woman you're about to meet today, and her journey and her story. I was like, oh my god, like, what a Be It person like, be it till you see it all the way through? I can't imagine going through any one of the things that she went through, let alone what all of that and then what she's doing today. So today's guest is Daniella Mestyanek Young. Thank you so much for being here. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you're up to these days? Daniella Mestyanek Young 7:28  Absolutely. So I'm Daniella I call myself a scholar of cults, extreme groups and extremely bad leadership. And I wrote a book called Uncultured, which is my memoir. So it's a story of my life. Being born and raised two generations into the Children of God religious cults, I was my mom was born and raised in, and then what it took to leave that kind of put my life together in America outside the cults. And then, because I'm such a high demand, high control person, I end up in the US Army, and kind of breaking barriers, making a lot of history for women, but also realizing a lot of the parallels between the world I'm in and my womanhood and the sex cult that I grew up in, in my childhood. So it is a book ultimately about group behavior that is telling the reader you know what, the New York Times called a propulsive story, but it's also kind of begging you to look at the parallels in your own lives. I say like all my readers to ask themselves the question what cults am I in?Lesley Logan 8:34  Yeah, I think that the listener right now probably has a lot of questions. So first of all, you have to read her book, you can listen to her say on on Audible. It's, it's just phenomenally written. I heard when you were on a little bit culter. You mentioned the book Educated. And that is a book my husband and I loved, the way that she tells her story. And so I have to say like, you're you tell a story in a way that you do take us along for the ride and it is interesting how you can find out first of all, I found myself seeing the repetitiveness from what the cult you grew up in to the military, but then also, when you can do that, then you can also see it in your own life, which is your goal and that's I think the more we can do it, the easier it is for us to understand like how do we get ourselves here like you You were born into the cult that your family is but like, what were the steps that got me here? This cult that I may be in.Daniella Mestyanek Young 9:31  Can I tell you first just like quick story about Educated from the perspective of Be It Till You See It? I you know, listen to Educated in 2018 and my first thought was literally, why didn't I write that book first. And then I was like, No, that's the model right? Like that's the like she did a book and I can go write my book in the tradition of Educated and because Educated with such a massive book, pretty much everyone in the industry was like, You cannot compare your book to Educated. And I was like, I'm sorry. I know you mostly say that. But this is a true comparison. And now I have, you know, four years later, I published a book called Uncultured that on the cover says, in the vein of Educated and Glass Castle. Yeah, which were the two Jacks in the field, right. So I like this story just to tell people like, don't let people tell you, you can't also be something big, just like, go ahead and be it. Lesley Logan 10:34  Ah, oh, my God. And we can just drop the mic there. I mean, I, first of all, I'd love you to share that, because one of my coaches that I've worked with, he is very much like, you should absolutely compare your thing to something that's big, because people need to know what camp you go in. So like, this is like the American Idol for I'm gonna say knitting because Daniel is knitting. If you're watching us on YouTube, I'm so impressed right now. So like, if people know if they can take your unique idea, because it's your unique story, and you can put it in the camp of something that they know is successful, then his theory it actually works really well. So I think it's so funny that people you can't do it. It's like, actually, you just fucking did it.Daniella Mestyanek Young 11:16  Oh, and I, you know, I want to tell you another story here. Because, you know, I was sort of in your world of, you know, entrepreneurship, and how am I going to do this? And what am I going to do? Am I a speaker or my own author? Am I a teacher, and somebody told me, you know, I don't know if there's a market for your stories, because I don't know if nice girls from Milwaukee who've never had anything bad happened to them can relate. And I just immediately went to I was like, first of all, I don't think there is such a thing. As a girl who's never had anything bad happened to her. I think all women can think back to being six years old and being afraid and wishing they had a fairy godmother to give them a different life. And that's why Disney is a billion-dollar industry. And I use that a bit in my sales pitch, right? Which was like, Yes, I'm telling you this, like far out fantastic story. But I'm also telling you in a way, that's like every woman's story, because you're seeing it through the eyes of this, this girl experiencing the extremes, you're going to be seeing probably less extreme, but also toxic versions of that in your own life. Wow. Like, I really hope for. Lesley Logan 12:33  I agree. And I think like also, yes, every woman everywhere, does need to maybe yours is the extreme. Maybe there's other extreme, more extreme ones out there. I just gotta hope not. But like, the reality is, is that like, we can't pretend that somewhere some girls are very safe. And they're very fine, because they are eventually going to be out on a trip, they're going to be somewhere. And also, I agree, I don't know that there's that there's any person who hasn't experienced something where they didn't actually have the words for it. Like, even when you were a child, you didn't have the words for what's going on with you, you just had this inherent knowledge, like, this is probably not a good thing. And I don't actually want to live this life. Daniella Mestyanek Young 13:12  So, and that's a big thing I've learned through writing my story. And I feel like with the proliferation of, you know, shiny, happy people being Amazon's largest number one original right now, people look at my story as extreme. But the cult I was born and raised in was just kind of the ultimate conclusion of the Duggars, right, of so many of these families and groups in America. And this is why the next project I'm working on is a book called the Culting of America. But one of the things that I've learned from my readers, and my discussions with them is that, you know, for example, I have so much in common with some of woman who grew up Mormon, you know, or like that it doesn't have to be a cult to have been a high control, high demand group environment that you were born and raised in that then influence your personality in all of these ways. You know, and going back to what you were saying earlier of like, when you're born into it, but you still have to kind of go back through and be like, why was I in this room? This is the thing I found is that after our culture or high-demand religions, or groups, we have to ask ourselves, you know, why was I in that group? And then what impacts did it have on me? And so for me, asking, you know, on the one hand asking why I was in the military, that tells me a lot about where I was personally at the time, but why I was in a cult is because my grandfather joined a cult. So for me, understanding why I grew up in a cult was kind of like going back and understanding systems and understanding group behavior. It's what led me to graduate school and setting Organizational Psychology around the same time I was writing Uncultured because really that's because I was trying toLesley Logan 15:14  Thanks for the timeline of like, when did you? So? When did so actually I would have I want to just get the listener up to date because they haven't read your book. You. You left the military when and then you started writing your book and going to college like, what what timeframe are we in because I'm looking at you and I'm like, I think I'm older than you. I don't know how you live five lifetimes before in these many years, times I am still a Daniella. Daniella Mestyanek Young 15:40  That's funny. I put together a PowerPoint of photos for the book team helping me publish the book. And that's exactly what they said, there are so many lives. I just turned 36 last month. So the timeline went, I got out of the army when I was 25. Sorry, not 25, 28. I got out of the Army in 2015. And I was pregnant with my daughter and I went to work for corporate America for a few years. And then was like, this is not for me, number of reasons. Got myself at first, just into entrepreneurship. I was like, I'm gonna start a team building company. And then I was like, oh, the problem with team building is people just think it's take a fun activity for add alcohol, and call it a team. And so I really started right around the same time, I was deciding, I was not going to go back to a nine to five job, I started kind of self-study, I was like, I'm gonna make myself an expert in leadership and culture. And I started with this idea of like, you can't spell culture without cult to you know, this comes from the same place, there are so many parallels in my life, you know, and, and all of these things are, are worked into the book. And then I was actually eyeing this program, this Harvard program for a master's in Organizational Psychology, but I couldn't make it across the country to Harvard. And then because of COVID, everything got turned virtual. So I jumped on that opportunity in mid-COVID. To go get a, an online degree at the same time everybody else was. So, use my veteran money to go back and do that. And here's what worked out so cool with the timeline. So, you know, the book came out in September, I graduated. So in March, 20 years to the day of when I walked away from the cult with zero education, right, zero days in school, 20 years to the month, I was conferred the master's degree from Harvard, and then graduation was on my birthday, 20 years later, Tom Hanks was the speaker. It was just, I got to like to dress up in all my Harvard Crimson. You know, Harvard's my favorite cult, and then go to Harvard bookstore, and autograph my book they're like, on my birthday in my regalia. So it's actually kind of cool talking about this on this podcast, right? Because it really was this five-year journey for me of seven-year really, after the army, I don't know what I'm going to be. And then I think I know what I'm going to be, but I don't really know. But just still like following a path. And all of a sudden, everything just came together five years later. And now when I dropped my credentials, people are like, oh, wow. Like, yeah.Lesley Logan 18:42  I'm sure that's part of the cult of America that our credentials are what gets us into places and not like experience. But so, okay. (Daniella: Agree. Agree.)Lesley Logan 18:54  Great. Thank you for that timeline. Because I just think that is really cool. So because we're like, it's so easy to like, read a book or read someone's bio, and go, okay, she left the cult, got in the army, now she's a Harvard grad. She wrote, it's like, she wrote a book. It's like, it's actually for you as a 20-year journey from almost like book in, to book in and we're like on a new series of books in your life, I feel like. So, I do want to like get a little definition for those people listening who may not be aware may not be like, like me watching anything that has to do with a cult to just make sure that I don't when I'm like, shiny happy people watch that. The bow all the things, high controlled groups. Can you like give us a definition of like, what those things are? You said high controll and high. what was that?Daniella Mestyanek Young 19:42  Yeah, high control, high demand group. (Lesley: Yes.) Um, so I have a, okay, I have a very specific definition of a cult. It's maybe a little bit hard to follow because it's 10 parts, which is why like, I like to have it in writing. If any of you have scenarios like TikTok, you can always find this 10-part list above my head and my videos. But I say our cult is a group that has, you know, a defined charismatic leader, although that might be changing because of (inaudible) whose members all believe in this single sacred assumption. So I say, you know, for the Children of God, the sacred assumption was that David Berg was a prophet of God or for NXIVM that Keith Raniere was the world's smartest man. And as long as you're under that sacred assumption, you can justify anything, but the sacred assumption fuels this transcendent mission, right, you have this huge mission that is so big, and so right, you're going to go save the world in some way. And it's going to require the self-sacrifice of the individual that's a really important part of cults and high-demand groups are constantly asking the individual to sacrifice for the good of the group. This is why nonprofits can become cold, like very quickly. And then this group now at this stage of the journey, right, it starts to limit its members' access to the outside world, it starts to have a distinguishable vernacular language that only holds meanings. And there's quite a few ways cults weaponized language as well. And then it programs its members to hold an "us versus them" mentality. Now you're at this pretty serious stage where it starts to exploit its members labor, have very high exit cost, and bring you into an ends justifies the means mentality. And with all of those things, I say like, congratulations, if you've hit 10 out of 10, Euro calls, even if nobody has diagnosed you as one. However, we can all probably look through that list, right and see that our groups are hitting a few, a few of these. And, you know, one of my arguments is that in a military unit, when you're back home, you're fine, you're only five out of 10, or six out of 10. But as soon as you deploy or go away to training together, and you add this isolation, this us versus them mentality, these different things, you are going to have a cultic experience. And we can't always just be like, Ah, it's a call and leave the group. So I like this sort of formula here, because it tells us where to look for the toxic behavior. Yeah. For me, this is very similar to my job in the military in the army, which was I was an intelligence officer. So I was the expert on the bad guy, I was the expert on how every plan was going to go wrong. And but when I was in school, setting group behavior, people only wanted to talk about happy positive stuff and good groups and good leaders and values. And I'm like, but but here's all the dangers, you know, and we're seeing these companies like we were or LulaRoe, you know, just turned completely into cults. And nobody's really seeing what's going on. So I like to use that framework. And I tell people, you know, if it quacks like a cult, you know, where to start looking for the the harmful stuff.Lesley Logan 23:17  I do, I appreciate you going into that framework and talking about that, because I do analysis that you brought up like we work and LuLaRoe those are like jobs that people bought into, like LuLaRoe, you paid into you really paid into joining that cult. But the women who started that that's what they that's what they thought they were joining to, they thought they were joining into creating a business for themselves that could make money and we work they thought they were like redesigning the way the workforce was and so it doesn't have to be religious.Daniella Mestyanek Young 23:47  And you know, there's two things here like nobody ever joins a cult, right they join a group that is doing something that is like feeding their soul. But also you know, the listeners of Be It Till You See It are all going to be very susceptible to join in cults because that is what cults do is they give you these big missions. Remember we talked about. So any person who is seeking to like change their life or do things differently or has recognized that the systems and the way that the world is they don't like it. Those are the people that are susceptible to join cults. And then we also don't usually talk about when we do talk about Carlson society, we talk about why and how people join them and don't see all of the red flags we don't talk about is how much effort goes into recruiting people into disguising the red flags into walking you slowly into the cults until that coercive control is complete. And then you really are under you know, what's what scholars like to call bounded choice, where you think you have free choice, you think you're free to leave anytime But you actually are under the coercive control of a group. Lesley Logan 25:03  Yeah, I so I love that you brought that up because I I do agree like I think anybody who's like seeking information to change their life and has this like, and I actually don't think it's a bad thing to want something more in your life, I don't think that's what you're saying either. But to be aware that like, because you are in such search of something bigger or something more than what you're doing, you are susceptible. So can we talk a little bit about like, what the disguise can look like. So that if the if something quacks a little bit like that, that's a cult.Daniella Mestyanek Young 25:40  Yeah, yeah. So, you know, I'll start with one that that I heard you throw out earlier, which was, well, we can't be a cult because people are free to leave anytime, right? This is the number one thing that you've got from any group. And I've even people will literally say this to me with a straight face about the military. And I'm like, you think you're free to leave the military? Anytime? Please explain that to me. Lesley Logan 26:05  I don't think so. I've not been in it but my family (inaudible). Daniella Mestyanek Young 26:08  Right. So, I think there's some, there's a really important thing about that phrase, they're free to leave any time, which is under coercive control. Not only is that phrase not true, that phrase is actually there to reinforce the dichotomy of there are two ways, my way or you're gone. Right? So there's no room for you to criticize anything here. And I, you know, of course, we saw this in the cults, but I saw this in the army all the time. And they say, you know, you signed up to be here, it's a volunteer army. And I'm going, I'm just saying I don't think all the soldiers need to be here at 3am for a movement that doesn't start until noon. I'm not saying I don't like my job, right, but they give you this all or nothing dichotomy, um, and then but in cults, when I say, you know, they say you're free to leave anytime and saying that is actually part of disguising the fact that you aren't free to leave because cults and coercive groups they know, they need to keep you you know, for isolated, busy, skinny, pregnant and tired. And if they do all of those things, you actually will not be free to leave, right? And you will have so many things keeping you in place. And so that, for example, is one of the ways of disguising, right? Like yeah, constantly reminding you, you're free to leave constantly talking about how we're not a cult and what the answer that we give to people is. Cults use these things called thought-stopping cliches, which is you know, it's the first day of the rest of your life comes from a cult leader named sin Anon, you know, they'll say trust the Prophet, they'll say, keep sweet. Boy, boys will be boys is a good one, you know, or you knew what you signed up for and it's intended to just shut down political complaints. And there's a book that shows very well the way that the cults disguise all the red flags. It's called Scarred by Sarah Edmondson who was from NXIVM, I'm actually reading it out loud on Tiktok while I'm knitting, so people can come there for snippet. But what she shows really well is that she's not blindly joining a cult, she is having questions all along the way. But every time you have a question, there's an answer. You know, and they have like, preempted this. And one of the ways I think we can see this with cult leaders is, you know, big, complicated societal questions have big complicated answers or don't have answers. So anyone promising to solve a big complicated problem for you with a very simple solution? Is a comment, right? Like, is someone who is trying to coerce you?Lesley Logan 29:06  Oh, I love this. So many tools for us all to use. And I remember, I was in college, I think I was just finishing college. I was prime for this to happen. Somebody invited me to a landmark meeting. And I went, I didn't know what it was. And I like went. And of course, like they do a really good job, like, asking these great questions to get you to give information. And of course, like, I was having problems with a family member at the time. They're like, Well, how long have you kept this problem around? It's obviously serving you something good to keep this problem around. And I remember thinking, like, I can't get rid of this family member. I'm a 19-year-old person who's trying to pay college loans. What are you talking about? So I left and I never like I didn't sign up. Also, it was too expensive. And I was like, You kid. Are you kidding? You missed my student loans or that I'm paying myself. Thank you. So I, but I remember this moment because I remember like, how close had I had the money, would I have joined it, maybe because they seem to have the answers. They seem to what they're doing so fast when I'm teaching Pilates class and one of my clients is like, I'm gonna miss class this weekend, I'm going to this thing and I said, Okay, great. Have fun, you know. So she shows up for class on one of the days I said, and I said, Oh, I thought you're gonna be here. She was like, I think it's a really weird place. And so I'm just gonna be here. You guys, her phone did not stop ringing. They kept calling her to get her to come back. Because it was the last day all these things and I said, I'm just like, I'm just going to be honest. I think it's really weird. I've never called the client multipleDaniella Mestyanek Young 30:38  screen. Why haven't you come back to class?Lesley Logan 30:41  Like, that's weird?Daniella Mestyanek Young 30:49  Yeah, and Citrix our channel is is me just like helping people, like pull out and understand these little things, right? So even for example, you know, when we first started talking, and you said, you're a Pilates instructor, and I said, Oh, is it a cult? And you laughed, right? That's a very healthy response. Because I say like, if you wanted to fight me all of a sudden, or if you had all these justifications about why you weren't a cult, that's when I get very suspicious. The moment in my book, after I've left the cult word, I realized it was a cult, right, we spent hours drilling responses to why we aren't a cult, right? Like, who does that? And so I even think it's one of those things, you know, it's one of my 10 commandments for good groups that aren't cults is like, can you can you joke about your organization, which is also to say, can you critically look at your organization, right? Because your response was, you laughed, then you said, well, it can be a cult, and then you immediately started critically looking. Right. So that is, I would say, a healthy response to for a leader of an organization in an organization that might have some things that are culty. And some areas, you know, I'm sure he could come into your Pilates studio, and point out some things about group behavior that you may be unaware of that could turn toxic. But that doesn't mean like you're a cult. But real cults, of course, do not want to fix themselves, they do not want to, you know, dig into areas of behavior that could turn toxic. And so if you ask someone a question, like, Oh, could it be a cult, and their reaction is really negative, even though cult's a negative word? Like, I usually see that as one of those interesting signs.Lesley Logan 32:43  That's so interesting. That's so funny. One of the things that I did last year, I started a mentorship and I had, there's like, 15 girls, and I had said, I don't know if I'm gonna do it again, probably do it one time, let's just see how it goes and see if I like the how much time it takes and the and the journey of it all. And at the end, I said, Yeah, ladies, you guys were so much fun. I'm gonna do it again. And they're like, can we all apply again? Because then it's just us? And I said, No, we're actually you're gonna get lots of people in. And we're not going to isolate ourselves. In fact, all this has to get out there because I would love to change industry, but I can't change it myself. I want, I want you all to be the people who change it. So we're gonna write they're not become a weird group who isolates themselves. Daniella Mestyanek Young 33:26  And this is I think, this is so important in the kind of life coach industry, you know, and one of the reasons I went more traditional book route instead of and more degrees instead of life coach route was, I personally was like, this feels a little culty. Like, we're trying to become gurus and just, you know, which is actually what charisma is, is you have authority based on your own qualities that are somehow above other people's, you know, and so I I think that's one of another one of the signs though, right? It's like, I wrote a whole memoir, I we came on here to talk about my book, how little have we talked about me, and how much have we talked about the ideas right? With you with that group, right? They were trying to almost make you this guru. And you're like, No, let's not do that. Like let me just be help her along the way. And I think that's an interesting, important distinction. And one of my favorite cult scholars, Dr. Janya Lalich, she just says point blank, she's like, there are no gurus. Like do what you need to do for your religion for your spirituality. But just like there are no gurus, it's always a danger sign. And you should always be questioning. And this was, you know, something that was said about Keith Raniere of NXIVM, which was very, very extreme. And it was all based on his claim, completely unsubstantiated that he was the smartest man alive and the thing that was said that was so insightful was any time a leader asks for your extra confidence in them, or promises you extra results, you should actually be asking extra questions or looking for extraordinary proof. Right? Because this is the thing that happens again and again, as people get lost in the charisma lost in the thought leadership lost in the guru-ness, and then they don't question. And it doesn't always mean it's gonna turn toxic, but it often does.Lesley Logan 35:34  Yeah, yeah, I thank you for saying that. I want to say to my ladies in that group, I don't think you are trying to make us a cult. But I think you really enjoy the time. But I just wanted to use it as an example. Because I do think a lot of people listening create groups, and how easy we like, well, actually, yeah, let's just make this the group that always goes and does this together. And then what you're saying it doesn't, it can't, it's just it can lead that way. So you know, and I think that's important because especially people listening who do want to, to have a community of some kind, you know, knowing that you're creating a community that it's like, are you putting yourself at the top or like, is the community a whole that like, there's the community of the whole, that's the top and everyone's kind of part of it, you know. So that's why I really loved what you how you bring things up. Because it can be easy for the person's like, well, I created this group, so I have to lead this group, and I have to do these things. And then all of a sudden, you put this pressure on yourself to be somebody, that that's not why you might have created the group in the first place, or the community because everybody does want to belong to a group. And I think that that's also the hard part of and I'm sure you're talking about that in your next book. It's like, people want to belong, people want to feel seen. So how do we create places? Where can people belong and feel seen without creating a toxic environment?Daniella Mestyanek Young 36:47  Yeah, I mean, the drive for community is huge, you know, and when you were talking about with your group, how, like not doing repetitive things can be helpful. You know, I never thought about it this way. But I was like, but that's a huge thing in military intelligence is you don't set patterns because patterns are dangerous. Right? And so I think just that right, there is an interesting thing to look at. But how do we, how do we create positive groups? Right, and this is one of everyone's big questions. Um, I'm actually ending my next book with a chapter it was going to be called good cults or groups, everyone asked about, but now we're calling it Just Groups, though just groups, but also just groups, which is kind of, if you understand this idea of, it's not a binary it's a spectrum, right? So I like to say like, a group is not a cult, or not a cult, or toxic or not toxic, right? It's not that simple, complicated issues have complicated answers. And so I, you know, want people to look at the spectrum of there's 10 parts of a cult, you can have any or none or all of them. And then how do those influence you, but part of starting to look at groups as neither good nor bad, but a spectrum that I think really changes the answer of how we look at good groups, which is something I kind of say that in the end of Uncultured, which is the need to understand that our groups are just groups. And, you know, there's this phrase out of individual psychology, which says, human beings are 99%, the same, but it's that 1% of difference that causes all the world's problems. And I feel like the DNA of groups very similar, right, like groups are 99% similar, and I've been in and studied a lot of them. But no matter. You know, the flip side of that is no matter how amazing you think your group is, and how hard you're trying to build a good group, you're also kind of only 1% away from the being the sex cult that traffics children. Right. And I think this is the most important thing we can do to build good groups is be on guard is talk about the negatives is never assume that our group is good. You know, one of my 10 commandments for good groups that are not called is thou shalt never champion last name. And it's just this like us versus them mentality. But as humans, we have this propensity to believe that our group is the best because it is ours. Our family is the best because it is ours our way of life is the best our religion and on and on. And so anytime you are 100% sure of your position, you have blind spots, and then these coercive groups again that are out there that are recruiting that have agendas that are Trying to build these armies to create power, you know, they have much more of a chance of getting you than if you're really much better at kind of living in the gray. And being like, you know, I have a great group I try really hard. But I want to look out for these things, you know, like, like, in your example, right? Another leader might be like this, these are really good girls, no women, nobody's trying to turn this into a cult, like, we're fine. I can be the leader. Whereas you are like, No, I'm always worried about whether I'm joining a cult or building a cult. So I'm going to be careful here, right? (Lesley: Yeah.) And this is something we see out of military intelligence as well that you almost don't have to prepare for the exact scenario that you're going to encounter. Because you almost never know what that is. But any level of preparation for like, a bad guy attack right for toxins coming in from the outside is going to make you more prepared for when it does go wrong. You know, and I think one of the biggest ways that people fall for these toxic groups or toxic gurus is just getting so isolated or so into it or so inundated with it, you know, you go to CrossFit every day, if your CrossFit box starts going wrong, how are you going to be able to tell? Right, if you don't have enough exposure to enough other groups? Right, be able to see when they're going wrong. See when the logic is going off?Lesley Logan 41:36  Yeah, yeah, I thank you for sharing that. Because I think it is. It allows everybody to go okay, if I'm, like, if I'm stayin on guard, I'm asking questions, and I can consciously go into a group. And, and many groups can be just a group. And if I ever feel like I'm at a point where I cannot ask those questions, I cannot be critical. There's my red flags to go. Okay. Then I like I've, I've leaned into the spectrum too far with this place, you know, soDaniella Mestyanek Young 42:07  that's 100% 100%. Correct. Lesley Logan 42:10  Yeah. Yeah. And I, I feel like sometimes I get really on guard because I was raised. I was not raised in a, like a shiny happy people type cult. But my parents, my parents were very much in organized religions. However, they changed pretty much every year for a good several years. So I'm like, I'm like, did we stop going? Because like it was, my mom. The big joke was that we stopped going, we switched church just because of football. Because we'd stopped going every football season. I think my mom was too embarrassed to go back to that cult. We had a start a new one. That's likeDaniella Mestyanek Young 42:50  It's funny, though. But this is actually some of the advice that I give to people. Like if you're trying to understand cults and coercive control, like read five different memoirs, right? Because once you read enough, where the details are completely different, you'll start to realize that it's a pattern. Yeah. Right. And it seems like that's accidentally what your mom was doing. Because you had so many, whether, whether she realized it or whether you realize that right, you started to see these patterns and be like, oh, I get like what this is, you know, because you're seeing so many different ways. And for me, I was reading about all of these different Christian cults. And so in my head, you know, 22 years old, the problem is Christianity. And then I read a memoir by a girl who grew up in Scientology, and it was exactly like, sounded exactly like my childhood and a bunch of similar themes. And that's when I was like, oh, it's that the essence of mind control and controlling other humans is, it's like, it's not only the same, it's programmatic, so we can spot these markers as it's happening, right? Lesley Logan 44:02  Yeah. I'm glad that you brought that up. I love that you said five different ones because then you're not able to go well, because I'm not in a Christian group that I'm not a cult. It's like actually what you're saying this programming can happen in any type of group. So And as we're all trying to follow that journey like you followed your journey to become an author, whatever that is, if you're listening wherever you're going, all this is is to help you what I hope you're getting out of this is I help you understand like science where maybe your your goal your ultimate idea of what you wanted has led you down to a path of like being part of some group that is not healthy for you and it's actually not going to help you get to that next level.Daniella Mestyanek Young 44:43  So the number one you know, the number one personality type that they say that is amongst people that join cults is being a seeker, you know, which I say if you're if you like to read books, or you're listening to this podcast, right, you're probably a seeker, and something that cults and coercive groups and coercive leaders will do is weaponize your passions and weaponize your discontents. Right. So if you're this person who's doing exactly what I did, I'm dropping out of the business world, I'm gonna go seek for my own thing, I'm gonna be super passionate, I want to change the world, I have joined 1000 culty groups, you know, like, those things are the things that are qualities that make you this amazing human that makes you the person that can probably go achieve anything you want. But it also can be weaponized against you, you know, and General Stanley McChrystal, he has this really great concept of like, when we are looking at threats to our leadership or our groups, we don't usually look at ourselves as one of the threats, right. So that I think is just one of those things, you know, that's really important to kind of focus on and I always like to stay away from the words of good or bad, and none of this stuff is to scare anyone, it's just literally to see, by looking at these extreme examples, we can find those parallels when they start, right. Yeah, when our group is on the international news with really bad bad stuff.Lesley Logan 46:21  Yeah, yeah, it can happen in, in your, in your local gym, you know, Daniella, I feel like I could talk to you forever. I've also, because I've just been listening to your book, like, crazy to, to get to know you more, and what you're up to, I'm excited to see where you go with all of this. Because the good part about being a seeker is that I do think that deal with all of your tools, you know, will probably educate all of us in bigger ways than we can ever be. And then those of us who are in leadership who are who want to lead the seekers in a safe, and just a group environment can learn so much more about how we can do that. So thank you. We're gonna take a quick break.Daniella Mestyanek Young 47:01  And thank you so much for listening to the audio. Because doing that was one of the hardest things ever.Lesley Logan 47:08  I can't even imagine because, like, I just how much stuff that I have to do. And my husband's like, well, when you read it, it sounds like you're reading and I'm like, Uh huh. I'm, well you want me to read this. So I'm reading. So, I can't even imagine. Daniella Mestyanek Young 47:25  Here's the thing that I think your leaders will get a kick out of right? It was like doing that I had to record it straight through in five days, it felt like it was going to kill me it was so so so so hard. But I was a trained exploited actor from the age of birth by this cult, and I got to go use my own voice and my own voice acting abilities, which got me recommended in the New York Times to read this book about them for global distribution. So that was like, those moments of like, even though this is so hard, right, like I'm doing this to own my story to get it back into like, this is how I win, you know? So anyways, (inaudible)Lesley Logan 48:06  So powerful like oh my God. Okay, where can people find you follow you work with you get your books get get notifications of your next book.Daniella Mestyanek Young 48:16  So my website is www.uncultureyourself.com you can find out all kinds of things about me there including sassy T-shirts, um, best bet is going to be follow me on TikTok at Daniella Mestyanek Young and we're there all day all the time talking about cults and extreme groups and extremely bad leadership and ways it might show up in your life. And of course knitting. And, you know, the book is available anywhere you can buy books, and I hope that you all will both read the book and then come join one of our online conversations about it because we are all learning from each other.Lesley Logan 48:54  Yeah, I agree. You've given us a lot. You got us tips and all these things, but I would love we like to end with like bold, executed intrinsic targeted steps because it's one thing to be inspired. It's another thing to like, have an action step you can take on what do you have for our listeners today? Daniella Mestyanek Young 49:13  Okay, so everyone does vision exercises, but as an organizational psychologist, I feel like this is where I must go and I have a good one. Which is just because it's for bold it's for backwards planning, right? It's just you imagine yourself when you're 80 and then you go through all of your senses, right? So dream life, what are you seeing around you? What are you hearing? What are you smelling? What are you tasting? What are you feeling? And then how do you start to backwards plan your life so that you can get there? So that's one that I really like cray because it really gets to the like we have one life to live it. What do we want out of it right? And how can we create those things? And then the other, I think, executable advice is like, when you figure out what you want to be, even if you don't know what that is, yeah, you just know it's something more or it's in this direction. Like, everyone is going to give you advice. Listen to all of it. But if it's negative advice, only listen to people who've done what you're trying to do.Lesley Logan 50:35  That's so helpful.Daniella Mestyanek Young 50:36  Yeah, like I had so many people tell me that what I was going for was impossible. And like, yeah, because nobody's done what I've done before. So they couldn't see it. But I could, but I had specific things like, oh, self-publish a book because nobody can reverse engineer a bestselling memoir. And I said to myself, well, has this person written the bestselling memoir? No. Okay. I'm gonna go find someone who has, you know, so I think we encounter this a lot in the world of seekers and what we're trying to be and sharing our passions. And it is, it is so up and down, right? You're gonna have moments that you think you screwed everything up, and then you're gonna have moments that it's all coming together. But if you just like, talk to everyone, keep your mind open. Listen to everyone, but only pay attention to the naysayers who have done what you're trying to do. Yeah, yeah, who are not the naysayers were like, that's the legitimate negative advice is learning from them. But so many other people are just saying telling you not to because they can't see it.Lesley Logan 51:46  Yeah, I agree with that. Like, I think, you know, when I started work for myself, everyone in my family who was giving me negative advice, oh, you're not gonna move how you pay your bills, all this negative stuff. It's like, Well, none of you have worked for yourself. So appreciate it. But like, that's an easy filter versus like my my great uncle who has worked for himself. He's like, that's amazing. Do this one thing. It's gonna be hard, but it's like okay, it's gonna be hard. He knows. And here's something advice I can take him. I think that's it, Daniella. Thank you so much. I also I love I love the vision of day but I also love that you put it through the filters of the senses that's really uniquely different. So thank you for for that. Oh my god, this puppy is so cute. If you're watching on YouTube, she's been doing this entire time. I'm so impressed. I've knitted nothing in my life and her dog looks like a stuffed animal. So Daniella, thank you so much. Y'all. How are you going to use these tips in your life? What are you going to do with them next make sure you let Daniella know how this podcast made you feel tag her tag the Be It pod and share this with a friend who might needs to hear it that they're the 10 signs in a cult and they don't want to listen to you. So give them this podcast and until next time. Be it till you see it. Lesley Logan 51:47  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. Brad Crowell 52:21  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 52:26  It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo. Brad Crowell 52:28  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 52:32  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell 52:39  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I created a summary of my analysis of BJU from the previous episode and I sent it to two cult experts. The cult experts are Rachel Bernstein LMFT and Daniella Mestyanek Young. Rachel Bernstein, therapist, and renowned cult expert shares her insights on Bob Jones University. She is the host of the “IndoctriNation” podcast which covers cults, manipulators, and systems of control. For 30 years, she has helped former cult members and those who have loved ones in cults and highly manipulative relationships. Rachel has helped people from over 300 cults throughout her career. She provides individual counseling, family counseling, and, when possible, group therapy for former cult members. She also helps families trying to reach out to their loved ones in the cult. Listen to the IndoctriNation Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and other platforms.Daniella Mestyanek Young is an American author and speaker who was raised in the religious sex cult, Children of God. She later served as an intelligence officer for the US Army for over six years, making the rank of Captain, and became one of the first women in US Army history to conduct deliberate ground combat operations when she volunteered to serve on a Female Engagement Team and received the Presidential Volunteer Service Award. Daniella lives with her husband and daughter in Maryland and holds a Master's degree in Industrial and Organizational Psychology from the Harvard Extension School.Buy her memoir Uncultured: https://www.amazon.com/Uncultured-Memoir-Daniella-Mestyanek-Young/dp/1250280117Follow her on TikTok to learn her 10 part definition of a cult: https://www.tiktok.com/@daniellamestyanekyoungConnect with Andrew PledgerSocial Media: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/linksJoin my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/4ndrewpledgerMore stories on 'Beyond BJU' on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and other platforms.Sources: https://www.tumblr.com/survivingbjupodcast/7261048166690re81600/sources?source=share Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we take time to celebrate UNCULTURED's favorite white boy Wes finally becoming a man with his recent engagement alongside hip hop's 50th birthday.

In this week's edition of Willie's World, Willie joins the fellas to talk about the panic that he has seen from Panther fans since the loss to the Jets and hand the first pair of Uncultured Swine awards.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week Foxxy sits down with a group of amazing AAPI performers; Eden Moore, Julianna Dick, Luna Nightshade, Thai Teaze, Miss Shu Mai.

This week Bibi Star, Chikavara, and Lady Blanca discuss latin pride.

In this episode, we're joined by Daniella Mestyanek Young, the author of Uncultured. She was born a third generation member of an influential family, within The Family International, better known as the Children of God cult. She escaped at fifteen, put herself through school, and graduated from college as valedictorian. Daniella joined the Army, became Captain, and she received the Presidential Volunteer Service Award. She was an Intelligence Officer in one of the Army's first Female Engagement Teams. In two tours and six years, she saw patterns in the military that were just like her experiences in the Children of God. Here are Daniella's 10 characteristics of a cult that we talk about: 1. Has a charismatic leader (and a skinny white woman) 2. A sacred assumption 3. The transcendental mission 4. Self-sacrifice of members 5. Limits access to the outside world 6. Distinguishable vernacular 7. Us versus them mentality 8. Exploits members' labor 9. High exit costs 10. Ends justify the means mentality Find Daniella online: https://twitter.com/daniellamyoung https://www.instagram.com/daniellamyoung_ https://www.tiktok.com/@daniellamestyanekyoung By Daniella's book UnCULTured https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781250280114 ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ For $3 a month, listen to the rest of this episode and get an extra few subscriber only episodes every month. We have a limited number of True Believer memberships remaining. Follow us on Twitter at https://twitter.com/wetwiredpod and Instagram at https://instagram.com/wetwiredpod Join our Discord to keep the conversation going. https://discord.gg/fr62mpUy5c

We're finally covering concept albums as part of Drunk & Uncultured (and not just drinking at a bar and talking to anyone that will listen). This has been a topic we've wanted to cover for quite some time, so listen in to hear our discussion of what a concept album is, often used concepts, our favorite concept albums, and some albums we didn't realize were conceptual.

Welcome to episode 106 of the Gaming Together Podcast!Hosted by Phil and NaveSpecial guest: NOBODY someone go get Mahatma Gandhi to hop on.Goodpods article that namedrops us!: https://goodpods.com/curated-lists/podcasts-about-a-variety-of-video-game-topicsRemember 64 Majora's Mask ep (we're at 37 minutes): https://open.spotify.com/episode/3c4YtDJ5LfDxIjmCDvko0e?si=dec5f470ec7f44ceOur socials: linktr.ee/gamingtogetherSupport our content here: https://www.patreon.com/gamingtogetherpod

This week Foxxy sits down with members of the SD Kings Club; Rudy Ramrod, Hans E Barr,  TJ Barr, Dee Mercury, and Sam Paguita

Today's episode is Sponsored by BetterHelp. We're back for part 2 of our interview with Daniella Mestyanek Young, the badass author of Uncultured: a Memoir. In her book, Young gets into the nitty gritty of growing up in the Children of God cult, now known as “The Family International,” with their horrifying pedophilic practice called “Law of Love.” In part 2, we dive deeper into Young's time as a Captain in the US Army—a role that threw Young back into the trenches of misogynist and coercive abuse resembling the neglect she survived in her childhood.  How did military personnel respond to Young's whistleblowing? What did she endure during her hazing as a new soldier?  And why did another captain tell her she'd “probably get raped” on a certain military deployment?  Listen to find out—and make sure to catch part 1 first!  To book Daniella Mestyanek Young as a keynote speaker on topics of group behavior and where we see cultic practices creep into less obvious groups, visit Macmillan Speakers' Bureau Daniella's website Daniella's TikTok Daniella's Instagram Daniella's Twitter Please note, this series includes details of sexual abuse. Listener discretion is strongly advised. If you, or someone who know, is a survivor of sexual assault, abuse, grooming, child abuse, or human trafficking, RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline offers support at 800.656.HOPE (4673). Also… Hear Ye, Hear Ye: The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Nobody's mad at you, just don't be a culty fuckwad. Other Links: Check out our lovely sponsors Join ‘A Little Bit Culty' on Patreon Get poppin' fresh ALBC Swag Support the pod and smash this link Cult awareness and recovery resources CREDITS:  Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames Production Partner: Citizens of Sound Producer: Will Retherford Senior Producer: Jess Tardy Writer: Mathias Rosenzweig Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is Sponsored by BetterHelp. If hell is real, there is perhaps no circle of it as harrowing nor vile as the experience of growing up in the Children of God cult. Still active under the name “The Family International,” the group is known for being a real-life manifestation of the shittiest of shitty macabre practices, such as child sexual abuse involving their “Law of Love,”—a mandate for females of all ages to show Jesus their love by letting men straight up rape them.  One would hope that growing up in COG would be the last coercive, abusive, and negligent experience for today's guest, Daniella Mestyanek Young, who is an American author, keynote speaker, and previous Captain in the US Army. One would also hope for ponies and rainbows and a bigger tax return this year but HEY, life's no cake walk. On today's episode, Young discusses her book Uncultured: a Memoir, wherein she details her cult-riddled childhood and how, shockingly, the US Army reflected comparable practices.  But how? Take a listen to part 1 of our interview with Daniella, with part 2 coming out next week.  To book Daniella Mestyanek Young as a keynote speaker on topics of group behavior and where we see cultic practices creep into less obvious groups, visit Macmillan Speakers' Bureau Daniella's website Daniella's TikTok Daniella's Instagram Daniella's Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is just a preview of our exclusive Patreon bonus episode. You can hear the full episode by becoming a supporter at: www.patreon.com/indoctrination Daniella Mestyanek Young is the author of UNCULTURED: A Memoir of Cults, War and Belonging which The New York Times calls “A painful and propulsive memoir delivered in the honest tones of a woman who didn't always think she'd live to tell her story” She was born a third-generation member of the infamous Children of God religious cult and grew up being trafficked around the world, before escaping that life and moving to America at age 15. She put herself through high school and graduated as college valedictorian before commissioning into the US Army as an intelligence officer, where she really started to think about group behavior…and started to see it everywhere. Daniella deployed twice to Afghanistan and became a member of one of the Army's first Female Engagement teams an experiment that put women into deliberate ground combat for the first time in Army history, and eventually led to the repeal of the sexist combat ban and the gender desegregation of the entire US military. She is a proud daughter of the 101st, (the unit portrayed in the Band of Brothers miniseries) Daniella is a recipient of the Presidential Volunteer Service Award presented by President Obama and holds a Master of Arts in Organizational Psychology from the Harvard Extension School where she focused her research on group behavior, social norms, culture, extremism, leadership demagoguery, and cults. She returns to the show to update us on what's happened since the release of her memoir Uncultured and offers a look into the topics of her next book tentatively titled "The Culting of America". Daniella and Rachel go on to discuss the parallels between military and cult indoctrination, pointing out the commonalities that exist in a variety of high-control groups. You can find out more about Daniella and her work here: https://www.uncultureyourself.com/ Thanks to all of our Patreon supporters for making this episode possible!

Tyler Copland is back! Tyler share his story about dismantling the bridge between Oakland and San Francisco, conversation moves on to culture.Music: Robert Connelly Farr - Shake ItSubscribe, Rate, and Review the show!Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/porch-talk/exclusive-contentAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Daniella Mestyanek Young (@daniellamyoung) is a survivor of the religious Children of God cult, a US Army combat veteran, an extremely advanced knitter, and the author of Uncultured: A Memoir. What We Discuss with Daniella Mestyanek Young: How the seemingly wholesome Children of God (later known by variations of "The Family") religious group centered around love, faith, and Jesus — and packaged to appeal to impressionable countercultural hippie types of the day — veered into true cult territory under the direction of its leader, David Berg. How female followers of Children of God were encouraged to use their bodies and sexuality to gain converts and money in a practice known as "flirty flashing." How child sexual abuse became a commonplace Children of God practice in an effort to raise "sexually liberated" children. What this cult and others do to cultivate credibility — and raise funds — among its followers and the outside world. The toll that life in a cult takes on those who are lucky enough to exit. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/823 This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Well we almost lost the podcast, but we looked death in the eyes and came back from hell. In this episode, we're covering the musical highs and lows of Q1 2023, Ticketmaster vs. Robert Smith, absurd ticketing fees, new venues, upcoming shows, and a sneak peak of some upcoming interviews. Tune in if you want an explanation of the title and how the podcast almost ended (temporarily).

Ep 119: (part 2) Raised in one of the most notorious sex cults, one woman's memoir brings their atrocities out of the shadows and into the light. This is the Daniella Mestyanek Young story - part 2. For more information about Daniella's work, or to learn about her book, Uncultured; visit her website: https://www.uncultureyourself.com Sources for Today's Episode: Uncultured: A Memoir of Cults, War and Belonging by Daniella Mestyanek Young Interview with Daniella Mestyanek Young Davidberg.org Childrenofgod.com Sponsors: (thanks for using our promo codes, it really does help the show!) Daily Harvest Let Daily Harvest do more so you can do less. Go to DAILYHARVEST.com/women to get up to $40 off your first box. This is Actually Happening (Podcast) Follow THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING wherever you listen to podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery App. https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Credits: Written and Hosted by Amy Shlosberg and Meghan Sacks Produced & Edited by James Varga Script Editor: Abagail Belcastro Music by Dessert Media Special Thanks to: Daniella Mestyanek Young Help is Available: If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic or other violence, there are many organizations that can offer support or help you in your specific situation. For direct links to organizations please visit https://womenandcrimepodcast.com/resources/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ep 118: (Part 1) Raised in one of the most notorious sex cults, one woman's memoir brings their atrocities out of the shadows and into the light. This is the Daniella Mestyanek Young story - part 1. For more information about Daniella's work, or to learn about her book, Uncultured; visit her website: https://www.uncultureyourself.com Sources for Today's Episode: Uncultured: A Memoir of Cults, War and Belonging by Daniella Mestyanek Young Interview with Daniella Mestyanek Young Davidberg.org Childrenofgod.com Sponsors: (thanks for using our promo codes, it really does help the show!) Prose (Personalized Haircare) Prose is the key to achieving all your hair goals this year. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to Prose.com/women This is Actually Happening (Podcast) Follow THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING wherever you listen to podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery App. https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Credits: Written and Hosted by Amy Shlosberg and Meghan Sacks Produced & Edited by James Varga Script Editor: Abagail Belcastro Music by Dessert Media Special Thanks to: Daniella Mestyanek Young Help is Available: If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic or other violence, there are many organizations that can offer support or help you in your specific situation. For direct links to organizations please visit https://womenandcrimepodcast.com/resources/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices