Podcast appearances and mentions of daniella mestyanek young

Daniella Mestyanek Young spent more than a decade in the infamous “Children of God” religious cult. Now, she's here to tell her story. We talk why people join cults, the extreme difficulty of leaving a cult and the growing influence of cults in America. Then, it's Cubans and Reubens vs. Grilled Cheese and Peanut Butter and Jelly as we countdown the Top 5 Sandwiches. Daniella Mestyanek Young (aka Knitting Cult Lady): 01:14 Pointless: 46:02 Top 5 Sandwiches: 01:09:52 Contact the Show Daniella Mestyanek Young Website Daniella Mestyanke Young Instagram UnCultured: Daniella Mestyanek Young's Book Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Send us a textHave you considered that a narcissistically abusive relationship is actually a cult of two?Daniella Mestyanek-Young, author of Uncultured and expert in cult dynamics, joins us to discuss the similarities between cult leaders and narcissists.Be sure to follow Daniella!TikTok - @knittingcultladyWebsite: Uncultureyourself.comAnd get a copy of her book, Uncultured: https://amzn.to/3CDhFcYCould you be in a coercively controlling relationship? In this week's podcast extra, Daniella tackles how to wake up to toxic and covert manipulation and control strategies.Get immediate access to this exclusive interview when you subscribe to this podcast's weekly Substack newsletter. All Podcast Extra interviews are embedded inside each weekly publication.Subscribe here: substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuseDid you know you don't need to wait a week for your next podcast fix? For only $5/month, sign up for weekly podcast extras!  Join me on Substack! Follow Dr. McAvoy!YouTube: @kerrymcavoyphdInstagram: @kerrymcavoyphdFacebook: @kerrymcavoyphdE-mail: hello@kerrymcavoyphd.comNewsletter: https://breakingfreenarcabuse.substack.com/ Website: https://www.breakingfreenarcissisticabuse.com/Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., a mental health specialist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her memoir, Love You More: The Harrowing Tale of Lies, Sex Addiction, & Double Cross, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.As an Amazon affiliate, a commission is earned from qualifying purchases.Support the show

Daniella Mestyanek (she/her) Young, scholar of cults, extreme groups and extremely bad leadership. Daniella is the author of Uncultured, a critically acclaimed memoir of growing up in the children of god cult and then going into the cult of US Army. Daniella holds a masters in organizational psychology from Harvard, and is working on a second book called The Culting of America In this episode we talk about: Children of God Cult Joining and leaving the US Army Control, sexual assault, and preparation for the apocalypse  Wearing wacky clothes as a form of expression Finding joy and happiness after deconstruction Connect with Daniella: Instagram Listen to her TedTalk Join her Deconstruction Book Club Buy and autographed copy of her book TikTok Some delightfully disrespectful merch  Connect with Maggie: Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/hello_deconstructionists/⁠ Email: ⁠hello.decons@gmail.com⁠ Discord Server: ⁠https://discord.gg/C3DUZdF3HJ⁠  Visit ⁠dauntless.fm⁠ for more content Learn more about Amy's music: Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.amyazzara.com/⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Foray Music: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.foraymusic.com/⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/amyazzara/⁠⁠ This is a Dauntless Media Collective Podcast. Visit dauntless.fm for more content.

In this dynamic episode, Lesley Logan sits down with Nick Hiter, a multi-talented entrepreneur and host of the Hitstreak podcast, to discuss the transformative power of personal branding. Dive into how Nick strategically expands his business ventures, the significance of clear communication, and the importance of personal branding in today's digital age. Whether you're looking to start your journey or refine your existing strategies, this episode offers actionable insights to help you 'be it till you see it.'If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How to organically grow your business by addressing its needs.The significance of fundamentals in scaling your ventures.The role of personal branding in achieving long-term success.Effective strategies for digital marketing and audience engagement.How to reframe challenges as growth opportunities.The impact of gratitude on personal and professional life.Techniques for visualizing success and setting measurable goals.Episode References/Links:Nick Hiter's InstagramNick Hiter's YouTubeNick Hiter's WebsiteWork with NickNick Hiter's LinkedInHitstreak PodcastLesley Logan's Episode on HitstreakMonday.com Project Management ToolDaniella Mastek Young EpisodeWayne GretzkyDerek JeterGuest Bio:Nick Hiter is the founder of Team Hiter, a business enterprise focused on helping entrepreneurs drive growth. In his role as the Executive Vice President at RAC Financial, he oversees strategic partnerships for a leading 8-figure payment processing company. His work supports a network of 100+ strategic partners supporting major brands such as Planet Hollywood, Brio, and Buca di Beppo to name a few. As a thought leader on entrepreneurship himself, Nick's insights have been featured in major media such as CBS, NBC, FOX, The New York Times, and Yahoo to name a few. In addition, as the host of The Hitstreak podcast, he talks weekly with top performers to break down their playbook to success so his audience of over 200 thousand can get to that next level too. Nick is also the voice of SiriusXM's “Y'allternative” radio station! In his prior company, Nick launched over 150 insurance agencies that generated 100 million dollars in just over 5 years. His latest venture, dubbed “The Hitlab”, is focused on creating a physical space for thought leaders to come together, share, and distribute breakthrough ideas at scale. Beyond business, Nick is a husband to Rhiannon, and father to Ethan and Ansleigh. Nick is a former pro athlete and gives back regularly to local philanthropic organizations in the Nashville area.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Nick Hiter 0:00  When I build a business, I build a business with the exit in mind. All right. So I'm not going to die doing that business. Hopefully, I retire or I sell that business or I hand it to a next generation or something like that. So when I start a business, how am I going to exit it? Just like when I programmed the GPS. I got a program, the final destination in for it to work backwards and give me a route and so on and so forth. Starting with the end of the business in mind, my personal brand is something that I keep until the day that I die. I might not keep the business. That's why it's called a personal brand, not a business brand.Lesley Logan 0:31  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:12  All right, Be It babe. Get ready for an unstoppable interview. I promise you you're going to want to hit rewind, you're going to want to write some of these things down. Your mood is going to shift, and your opinion about how able you are and control of what happens around you in your day, and then what you're building is about to shift. Nick Hiter is our guest today and he is just a force and energetic human who has a lot of amazingness going on, and it's because he's very intentional. And you're gonna hear that theme throughout this interview. I got to meet him in person when I was on the Hitstreak podcast, so make sure you listen to our interview. It was one of my favorite interviews to ever do. I had, he asked me the best questions. So definitely was one of those fun experiences. You're like, this is something I want to remember, and I will, because if you watch his show on YouTube, you'll also see like it is to the end, everything he does is with intentionality and like really amazing quality. So you are going to be impressed with the production effort that goes into his podcast and his intentionality in the guests that he has. He said, some amazing guests on that podcast. So make sure you check out Hitstreak and then also enjoy this interview. I want to hear what your takeaways are. Truly send them in, tag the Be It Pod, tag Nick Hiter and let us know. And then, as always, share with a friend so we change people's lives, right? How we do that? So without further ado, here is Nick. Lesley Logan 2:30  All right, be it babe. Get ready. This is going to be an energetic conversation. I can already tell you right now I have been in the presence of our guest today in real life, and I'm telling you like I always thought I had a positivity of above a 10 and energy that's pretty close to it most the time. And this person showed me that you can go even higher than that. So Nick Hiter is our guest today. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at, Nick?Nick Hiter 2:51  Man, I am a man of faith. I'm a husband, I'm a father, I'm a businessman with a podcast. You know what I'm saying. So we're very blessed. Long story short, my wife and I own an insurance agency that owns equity and a few other insurance agencies today. We own a merchant processing company. I'm the voice of a SiriusXM radio station. We own a set of studios and creative agency here in Nashville, Tennessee, and a whole bunch of affiliate partnerships and programs and whatnot. And I'm the host of the Hitstreak podcast, which you've been a guest on.Lesley Logan 3:24  Yes, I have. You guys can go listen to that episode right now. Actually, after you're done listening to this one, you'll go listen to that one, of course. Nick Hiter 3:24  That's right. Lesley Logan 3:24  It was an amazing conversation. So I really hope you all enjoy it. So Nick, okay, first thing everyone's going to want to know is, how on earth do you have the time to do all those things? Or have you had nine lives like that is impressive and also requires a lot of time. And you have a family, you have a partner like there's a lot that you're also invested in that's a priority. So how did you get there?Nick Hiter 3:51  Everything that we do, the insurance agency was the first thing that we kind of had, and then everything else that we've gotten into was a necessity of the original agency. So it was like we were going to hire somebody to do that or we just started our own thing to serve the previous entity, right? So all the things that we're involved in serve everything else that we do. So whenever we start something new, it's usually because something else we already have needs it. You know what I'm saying? Lesley Logan 4:17  That's really amazing. Thank you for sharing that, because I think a lot of people will see what you're doing or what I'm doing, and they'll go, I'll use myself as an example. I have an on demand Pilates membership. I have a podcast. We do retreats. So then someone looks at that and goes, I need all those things. And what they don't realize is, first I had a studio, then I started traveling, so I needed to have an on demand thing. And then because people wanted to spend time with who lived in other places, we did the retreat. So like, each thing we created was because of a need, like you said, What is your advice for the person who sees the finished project or where we're at and thinks they need to start all those things at one time, versus, like, how we've done it?Nick Hiter 4:55  The same way that you were educated as a child, like you got kindergarten curriculum in kindergarten, not eighth grade. You know what I'm saying? So a buddy of mine named Marcus Whitney told me, he said, "Don't mistake my chapter 20 for your chapter one. Lesley Logan 5:08  Yeah. Yeah. We, like, people like to do that. They really do.Nick Hiter 5:12  Absolutely. When I watch Michael Jordan play basketball, I wanted to play like he did, but I hadn't done the work that he had done and learned what he had learned to be able to make the decisions that he makes on the fly, knowing how to work out, how to practice, how to grow, and then how to execute in a game, right? So there's a lot of experience required to get good at anything.Lesley Logan 5:29  Yeah, I know. And that's also like you're an athlete, like those fundamentals are the things that people think are boring. They want to skip over. They want to do the thing that's fancy. And especially because of social media, most people put the fancy stuff out because that's the stuff that looks good. That's the stuff that like, gets the likes, or gets the comments. I recently posted myself just doing footwork on a Reformer, which, you might remember from when you did Pilates. It's pretty boring. It's just lying down, doing squats, basically. But it is such a fundamental exercise that leads you to anything you want to do, and also gives so much information. And a lot of people like to skip that fundamental stuff. What are some of the fundamentals that you like really found have helped you grow your businesses the way that they have? Nick Hiter 6:08  First of all, to scale or grow anything, it's going to hurt. It's why they call them growing pains. All right. It's never easy. It's usually uncharted territory, even if you have knowledge and things from somebody else. But you always got to have something that you can measure the growth by or the lack of. Okay. So you got to have things that you can measure just like losing weight. Do you think you would have finished school if you had to go for 13 years but you didn't know where you were at? Like, you didn't know, it wasn't broken up into 13 grades. I wouldn't have, after, like, a couple years, I'd have been like, Mom, Dad, like, when does this end? Where are we at? Like, when you're a kid on a road trip, are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there? Yeah, you got to have something to measure your success or lack thereof. Again, everything that we got into served the need of something else. Okay? So whenever you're building things, and then you're going to need more people, when you're adding new things, right? Because you just grew. So obviously, if I was at capacity and we launched another product, launched another company, or whatever it may be, even a new department, it's going to require people, and that leads you to communication, right? So the best in the world, in anything, can clearly communicate, all right? And communication has to go two directions. Derek Jeter said that loyalty, trust and communication going one way is stupid. All right, so it's got to go both directions and then through that communication, you have to be able to clearly delegate, and you have to be able to clearly automate. In the world that we live in today with technology, if you're not using automation and you're not good at it, you're probably getting beat by somebody that is.Lesley Logan 7:30  Yeah, oh my gosh, the delegation automation is so hard for especially if you're not used to it. I know when I hired my first assistant, I kept asking her, do you think you could? Would it be? Would you be able to? And she's like, it's my job to just do what you're asking, and if I can't do it, I'll tell you. And I was like, oh, she trained me how to delegate real quick. Because I was like, oh, okay, so she'll just, she'll tell me if she can't do it. And that's how I've always operated. So now, anybody who works for me, I'm like, if I give you something that you don't, I don't give you enough time for you need to tell me. Otherwise, that's when I want, this is how we're gonna go, because it's communication, but with automation, there's so many tools now and free tools like it used to be so expensive to automate things, and now, like my husband's Monday boards scare a lot of people, but they are amazing for our business, because I love, at each year, going back to measuring, Monday tells us this is how many things you automated this year. This is how many minutes or hours or, like, months you've saved because of automations. Like, it's so amazing. Going back to communication, you are really amazing at personal branding and digital marketing, and that is forms of communication. Nick Hiter 6:45  Absolutely. Lesley Logan 7:31  Can you tell me how you got into that? What's your favorite part about doing that? Nick Hiter 7:40  In a previous life, when my wife and I were in a management group with three other friends of mine and we owned restaurants and nightclubs, in Nashville back then, if you weren't the best promoter, you lost. It wasn't just open the doors and people flood in. Back then, you actually had to be good. You had to market and attract people. All right? So we learned a lot about marketing. That was the timing of that was right when Facebook, Myspace had already come and gone, Facebook and Instagram and those other platforms were on the rise and becoming more and more prevalent. So like, we learned the value of those really quick. And then when we got into the world of insurance, they did not value that at all. They did not value social media. There was a lot due to compliance issues and a whole bunch of other great reasons. That just wasn't a space where insurance agents were leveraging those platforms to grow. So when we got in there, we had a head start on everybody, and we just used that. We dove right in with it, went all in with it, and created something that we were very proud of. And all we did was market one message over and over again, which was another win for the client, who's next. So when it comes to personal branding, digital marketing, first of all, when I build a business, I build a business with the exit in mind, all right, so I'm not going to die doing that business. Hopefully I retire, or I sell that business, or I hand it to a next generation, or something like that. So when I start a business, how am I going to exit it just like when I program the GPS, I got to program the final destination in, bring it to work backwards and give me a route, and so on and so forth. Starting with the end of the business in mind, my personal brand is something that I keep until the day that I die. I might not keep the business. That's why it's called a personal brand, not a business brand. I'm a big believer in build a personal brand first, and you can launch businesses with that personal brand, and that's what my wife and I have been very blessed to do. Lesley Logan 10:19  Okay. I do love that, because there's been a lot of amazing businesses where a personal brand has come out of it, like Spanx, for example, it was known and then Sarah Blakely, but that is difficult nowadays to get a business launched into a huge space. Like there's so much noise, there's it really is, like, who has the most ad money can really dive through? So to go back to the personal brand, just in case anyone listening isn't really understanding the difference between a personal brand and business brand, can you just go like, a little more layman's terms, just for them, and then can you tell me more about, like, developing your personal brand, what that was like.Nick Hiter 10:53  So, your personal brand is your reputation online. Okay, online. We all know a lot of people, but how many people do we actually interact with on a daily basis, versus my Instagram account reaches millions every 30 days. Okay, so, like, I can't touch that many people in person. So online, it's a much greater net if you're fishing, it's a way bigger cobweb when you're casting out. Again, the personal brand is your reputation online or what you've accomplished to date, and how many people know about it? And again, you can cast a way bigger net online than you can in person. So with the personal brand, that's why it's so important. And I want to kind of preface that question with this your personal brand. Treat it like its own entity. That's the biggest mistake people make, is they want to build a personal brand. They might even hire our agency, and then, like life happens, they run into problems in their business. They run into problems at home, and the personal brand is the first thing to take a back seat. And it's a commitment. You wouldn't do that to your business. You wouldn't do that to your family, I hope. You wouldn't do that to your kids. Put your personal brand on a level of importance that's the same as those other things, because again, the personal brand is yours, man, and it took me years to build our first seven or eight figure company, and then once we had an established personal brand of a certain size, we can launch them almost at will to the right market, or as long as the company or brand that we're the one to launch from our personal brand is in alliance with that. So your personal brand, you have an audience. Are you growing that audience? Is your audience shrinking? Are you feeding that audience? What are you providing for that audience to keep them coming back for more?Lesley Logan 12:20  Yeah, I think it's really amazing. I want to highlight, like, doesn't get put on the waste on the wayside. And also, like, you can take people with you on those obstacles with a personal brand that you cannot with a business brand. Like, your business (inaudible), you're not gonna go, oh, another failed launch today. That's not so great. But you can take people on the journey of, like, what it's like to try out new things and learn from them. And with my personal brand, I've always been very open with my health struggles. Because one, I had no one to help me, and I was like, seeking out this information myself. And I was like, if I'm going through 10 years of stomach issues, there's probably other people going through stomach issues as well. So how can I help them in a way that's like, I'm not going outside of my scope, but I can be like, at least a cheerleader, like, just keep going. And now, as I'm 41 what I found is most of the women who listen to the show, most of them who follow me, most of them who want to take class with me, they're over 40 as well, and so being able to share the journeys I'm on, like, hey, here are the things I'm doing to keep the energy up that I have when I was 30, now, because it's harder now. So I think that's what's so fun about a personal brand and correct like you don't have to have tons of followers, you guys to reach a lot of people. It's kind of amazing. If you're putting stuff out there that people want to share, and it's your rep, it's like that. It's quoted to you, and it's really amazing. And whenever we put together a new product, it does better than a business doing a similar thing, because we have so much trust built in with what we're doing. When I was in Nashville last when we saw you, I spoke at the Soho House, and there was two other businesses there, one who works with over $100 million a year in ads on social medias as an agency, and then this other person, who was the fifth hire for Rent the Runway, and he's done a million other things that are amazing, right? So here I am, the small business owner, and I blew their minds, because we actually sell things where you have to wait four months for it. Happens all the time. When we have a new product, we allow people on that journey, and it's because so they asked me, like, how are you doing that? Because we have to like. how do you get people to wait? And I said, because they're on the journey with me. They trust me. They know what I'm building. They know how many hours I spent on it. They know what they're going to get, and they know it's going to be four months and they're getting this thing. And the guy looked at me, he's like, that would never work for my clients. And I'm like, that's because your clients don't want to build a reputation with their customers. They don't want a relationship with them. I want a relationship. That's what a personal brand really does well. So what did you do in building yours? Was that something you started out with years ago, or something that you when you started your nightclubs, or is that something a bit more recent?Nick Hiter 14:43  Well, again, it's what you've accomplished, and how many people know about it. So we've all accomplished certain things in life, and so for me, I played professional sports, so that was something that separated me from a lot of people, which that was leverage that I could use that to get in other doors, to get conversations happening with people, whatever it may be. And because of that success, and a lot of people knew about it, in a game that is, at least up until recently, it's been known as America's pastime, it was just a very important thing. But again, the personal brand, like it's its own product. Every company had a founder, and that founder created that company which had a story. So what we're seeing today is people are selling stuff on freaking TikTok, a shop that, like, you can't even like, how secure is that thing? Like, anybody can buy and be a brand and sell anything these days. And what you're finding is that gives a lot of power to the small business owner. So the small business owner can reach as many people as the large ones can. The gates are down. The fences are down. So the founder story, I think, is incredibly important. I think that people, as a matter of fact, we learned at brand (inaudible), I think 58% of people are buying from, are at least shopping first from an entity that has a personal brand tied to the product or the story. So again, all the things that we use as consumers, we have favorite restaurants, favorite stores, favorite products. Why are they our favorites? All right? And then why can't we use that same knowledge to turn right around and be that for somebody else? Okay? So as consumers, I don't think we're very smart a lot of the times. I think we've been programmed to a certain degree, and I think that we're just running those programs and we're not actually like thinking why and how to make them better? Does that make sense? Lesley Logan 16:17  Yeah, no, it really does. It shocks me when people don't really understand cookies on their phone and on their devices. I use them to help me. Brad makes fun of me. My husband makes money because I, like, will intentionally click on an ad that I want to get served later on. Because I'm like, I'm not ready to buy that thing right now, but I don't want to forget this thing. And instead of, like, writing down what I want, I'm like, nope, I'll just let that hit me up later. And I intentionally, I use the algorithm to serve me what I want. I'm always looking for positive stuff, and then I'm always telling it what I want to buy, so it serves me those things. But a lot of people are like, just taking things as they come, not really having that discernment.Nick Hiter 16:51  You're taking responsibility. How many people don't do social media? They just blame the algorithm. What is the algorithm exactly that you're blaming? And first of all, how do you take ownership of it. That's the only way you can fix it. If you place blame, you give somebody else ownership, which means you've removed yourself from being a part of the solution. Last time I checked, the people that solve the most problems make the most money. So you're either a victim or a survivor and they look and smell a lot like a quitter versus a finisher. Okay. God hides the gifts and the things finished. And the end of something is the beginning of something else. And if you quit, you don't get the end. You don't get the gift. Okay. And no matter what storm you're in, dude, it runs out of rain. Lesley Logan 17:31  Yeah. Oh my gosh. You guys, everyone could just hit rewind on that. That was really brilliant. That was really amazing. Nick Hiter 17:35  Thank you. Lesley Logan 17:36  Yeah, I think a lot of people see an obstacle as a sign that they're not supposed to do something. Oh, my posts aren't they're not landing. So I'm not good at this. I'm not supposed to be doing this. And this is a sign I'm not supposed to do it. It's just the obstacle that you have to get over because you need the muscle, you need the feedback, you need to learn this lesson so that where you're going you are prepared for the next thing. Nick Hiter 17:55  Yeah, everybody that's considered successful, or they get paid well to do whatever it is they do. They're good at it. Okay, so think about it. There's companies that spend six or seven figures a month on their digital marketing, and you spend $400 and you don't know a lot, and the company that you hired, you really don't know why you hired them, other than boy, I sure hope they nail this for me. But again, as consumers, we shop places based on information that we've gathered about that entity or that business or that product. But then, when it comes to this type of stuff, we hire stuff. We hire companies or agencies. We just cross our fingers and go like, I hope they get it right. Like, how do you know if you hired the right person? How do you know if you hired the right agency? What are you measuring and how long does it take for them to get you those results? Did you ask those questions? Are expectations being managed? I have clients myself that'll spend 9, 10, 12 grand over a couple months, which ain't a lot, and they feel like, man, I should be making millions by now. I'm like, well, if that's all it took, then why would anybody spend a million dollars on a Super Bowl ad? If that's all it took to make millions. Just, hey, man, throw six grand at this little company on Instagram, and they're going to make you millions. Nobody would do anything else. So it's just, it's those expectations.Lesley Logan 19:06  Yeah, you know, I love those questions. You gave out. We hired someone. Oh, from an agency, and it was for our YouTube channel. And I definitely thought I did the research. I asked the questions, because we've hired companies before, when we first started our business, and definitely didn't ask those questions. We didn't really know what to ask. So I felt like I asked it. They set the expectations of like, this is what our goal is for your channel, and this is what we've done for other channels and da, da, da. And within five months, everything was awesome. And within five months, I'm like, this is I'm looking at, even if we compound what growth we've had, we're not going to get to the goal you set. We're certainly not going to get to the realistic goal I set. What are we doing here? We have a year-long contract. We have time to rectify the ship. Let's go. And two months later, things hadn't changed. So I continued to raise like, here are my concerns. Here is this thing. And so I laughed, because when we got to the point where we could renew the contract, I was like, are you even asking me? I have been telling you specifically what I'm looking for based on what you told me, based on what you sold me, and now I love that you raised your rates. I love that everyone should raise the rates every year. It's great, but you're raising rates, and you didn't even get me, there was, you didn't even give me 10% of the results we talked about. So you have some work to do, but it's not going to be on me, and it's my fault for allowing us to do a year-long contract. Next time, I'll probably want to do something different so we can have a way out if it's not working the way we expected. And so you also can ask all the questions, and it cannot, it still not go the way you want, and you don't have to get met. I'm not going to blame her. I have to take responsibility. What did I miss? What did I not, what did I not ask? Where was I not super clear on what I expected? And so the next time I know better. And the truth is, like we did learn a lot, our channel grew tremendously, just not to the point that it even paid for what we were paying for them. So it's not all bad. Nothing is all bad. I think we get to learn from it. You talk about the personal brand is so important. So, reputation online. With digital marketing, a lot of people, you said it already, like people like, pay an agency and then they hope and pray. I think a lot of people don't understand what digital marketing is. And like, how a lot of people that we coach, they'll post like, come take my class. And I'm not gonna lie, guys, on the day that we're recording this, I did a post which I have to do for this tour. We launched a tour, and it's basically like tour's happening. Here's what it is. The only people gonna get excited about that, people who know what the tour is. So I'll have other digital marketing I have to do later that actually explains things and educates and inspires and does all this stuff. But what is the difference between a digital marketing strategy where people just post, buy my stuff, come take my class, and one that actually grows a business?Nick Hiter 21:40  First of all, like I heard one time, the riches are in the niches. Okay, so that what that means to me is specificity, like, it's specific, okay, so let's use, like a neurosurgeon. Would you go to that person for sports rehab? That's not their specialty, right? So digital marketing is massive. Let's just talk about how you compare it to, like money, because we were having a big accounting meeting this morning. So on a business, there's revenue and there's expenses. You take revenue, you subtract expenses, whatever is left, and you want to grow that number, week over week, day over day, shift over shift, month over month, year over year, well, over here. Well, then you've got access to lines of credit. So what's that mean? There's accessible lines of credit, and then are you paying principal or interest when you take out money on those lines of credit. Same thing with credit cards, except credit cards, now you have rewards that you can manage. So like even with your growing, your money on your revenue, on your business. But how are you using cash in cash out lines of credit and then credit cards, which are another form of lines of credit, but again, they have rewards versus bank lines of credit or homeowners lines of credits and stuff. They're different. So it's understanding how you win in each space. It's like, you don't hire a company that's great at YouTube, and it's a bit like, man, why aren't you going to my Instagram? Okay? So again, what are you hiring for? And you have to market to a lot of people–vegetarian, see the steakhouse commercial on TV. It happens, you know what I mean? But like, even if you're going to advertise on a network, you're going to pick like the right network based on the right audience, based on the right demographic of who's watching it at that time, there's all this information that is used to make these decisions, but we don't always use those. A lot of times we're just scratching the surface, and again, that's where you're crossing your fingers. How do you know you hired the right company? How do you know you hired the right company? And you got to have things that you can measure. And before I hire anybody, I like to have those on the front end. All right, it's a year-long contract. After 90 days, how do I know if we're on track? After 150 days how do I know if we're on track? You know what I mean? 3-6-9-12 months down the road, 30 days later, how do I know if we're on track? And what can I do differently? And the moment you say, the moment you place blame on somebody else, subconsciously, you're telling yourself they're the only ones that can fix that problem. Everything's Nick's fault, I promise. Because it's the only way I can fix it. It has to be my fault, because that's the only way I can take ownership to fix it. So even when I hire people, if they're not hitting the measurements that I want, it's my fault, because then I'm going to go to them and say, what can we do to fix this, versus just, what can you do? What are you going to do to fix this? You have to ask that question too. When you say we, there's their part and there's my part, and if I did my part and they didn't do their part, now, we part ways.Lesley Logan 24:16  Yeah, yeah. And I think also it's even possible to do your part for them to do their part, and it still not be the right parts. And you have to, and those are the hardest times to part ways, because it's like, it's, you know, we're either missing another part or we're not the right parts for this project. And we have to.Nick Hiter 24:33  And that's based on the relationship. If I met my wife, who is the lady who is my wife today, and we got married tomorrow, like there's not a lot of research or knowledge that we've gained about each other, so we're going to find out a lot later. There's a certain amount of due diligence that's required on all parties to make sure they're a good fit for both. And as a vendor that people hire, it's important to me that I am the right vendor, so I'm always encouraging them to do the right research, and then I'm again, Everything's my fault. The company chose me and I wasn't the right person. It's my fault. I didn't do enough due diligence on the front end, you know what I'm saying? So again, communication, everything goes two directions. Lesley Logan 25:07  Yeah, we interviewed Daniella Mestyanek Young, who survived a cult, and we were talking about, because I have communities, and I was like, yeah, I'm always trying to make sure I don't have a cult. Like, I'm always, always trying to make sure I'm not creating a cult, because I don't want to, I don't want to be a cult leader. That's a lot of pressure and the answer, like anyone could leave at anytime time, is not the same, because that's true of most cults. But I said to her, I said, no, we're pretty clear. If we're not the right fit for you, because there are some people who want coaching from me, and they're like, well, I want you like, I'm not going to do the work for you. You have to actually come to me before you create the problem. Ideally be great before you. I've had people like, I signed this contract, and now I'm like, oh, I can't help you now, you've got to get a lawyer. This is beyond my coaching business, so I'm trying, we try really hard to be as the vendor. Like, here's what we're really good at. What do you need? Okay, we can't do that, but we can do this. And if that's what you want help on, we'll do that. And if that's not, it's totally okay. And I think that's really important, because for everyone listening, because it is hard to say no to money, it's hard to say no just and also you could be like, well, I can talk about that. Like, I could help them. Yeah, but it's not the thing that you want to be helping them with, and it's not the thing that you're the best to help them with. And like you said, it the riches are in the niches. You'll have more energy, you'll have more growth if you're helping people, the thing that you're most able to do. And so I think that's a really important message that you gave us. It's like, make sure that you, the person who was doing the thing is also the right fit for the person buying or hiring the thing. Nick Hiter 26:31  I love using plays on words too, to change people's paradigm or their perspective, meaning like using the word cult. You know, well, cult is the root word of culture. I think we would all agree. We'd want a great culture, which is the form of some form of a cult. Even Bruce Lee said, "The words that you say to yourself are so powerful because letters, when you do something to them form a word, you spell them. So when you use words, you're casting a spell on your own mind, right? Just based on the roots of those words. Communication, well, isn't that a form of community? You know what I mean? The words that we use all the time. Brad taught me a really valuable lesson one time, because I was always told, be humble, be kind. The Bible says, be humble to the Lord, but nobody else. Because if you look up the definition of humble, it's actually low thought or opinion of oneself. I was always told, be humble, dude. Do I really want to have low opinion of myself. No, I'll be humble to the Lord, but that's the only person. That's the only thing. You know what I mean. So we use all these words all the time, and actually don't know what they mean.Lesley Logan 27:30  Yeah, I know. And the thing is, you guys can ask, you can ask your phone really easily. So just yesterday, my husband and I were talking, I used the word titrate and he goes, titrate. I'm like, well, it means people can titrate, they can actually add or take out based on what they need. And he looked up the actual definition. It was mostly like, for medication. I was like, it works at this particular instance as well. But yeah, it's important look them up.Nick Hiter 27:55  When you use the word humble, if me and you have different definitions of that word, we're not actually saying talking about the same thing, you know? So I was given a keynote one time. We were talking about mindset, right? When mindset became a word everybody used it all the time. So I'm talking about mindset. And I just happened to look out over the crowd, and I was like, I just got this vibe, like there was like, 15 different looks coming back at me, which means there's 15 different opinions out there. So I was like, guys, what's the definition of mindset? I asked eight people and got eight different definitions. So we were actually talking about eight different things and didn't even know it. Even though we were communicating, the communication wasn't happening. Lesley Logan 28:32  The impact was not of the intention. There's this amazing show on Netflix I love to watch. It's called Physique 100, Physique, yeah, Physical: 100 and it's a Korean show, and they take 100 people in Korea, and they do this physical competition, and it's a see who is the best physique, right? And there's these guys who can lift cars, and there's also, like, a rock climber, and there's someone who does, like mountain climbing, like fire stuff, and then they put it through challenges, and obviously different physiques do better at different challenges. But it was so funny because the translation, since it's Korean, they're translating and people are saying, you have the best physique. I like your physique. And it was so weird because in English translation, it's a little superficial, and especially at the time it was coming out with body positivity, I was like, this is not going to land well, I think they should have translated this just a little bit differently, because this exact translation is not how we use the word, and so it still did okay, but I think you're correct, like, we have to know what the thing be on the same page of a definition. And that's also like, when you go back to the marketing and your personal branding, like you're talking about communications, like making sure that you are using that where the words that your audience, that you're trying to serve is that's how they use those words. It's the words that they use. So that way they really feel like you're communicating with them. Nick Hiter 29:47  In the world of sports, some of the greatest coaches, when they're talking about these things, like you can watch coach prime Deion Sanders in their classroom, they show a lot of footage of that, and literally, like on the screen behind him will be a word with the definition that they're talking about. So he's making sure that his entire team is talking about the exact same thing. They wear a uniform. Well, what's the definition of uniform? It's the same, right? So that's what teams do. Going back to the world of baseball, which may or may not resonate with your audience, but like Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez, were two of the best to ever do it, all right? One guy hit almost just shy of 700 home runs and one guy hit a few 100, okay, but one guy won six championships and one guy won one so who's the better of the two? Derek Jeter would say, well, I am. They'd say, well, he hit almost 700 home runs and you hit 250 or whatever it is. He'd say, you didn't ask who was the best home run hitter. You said who was the best player and the best players win the most games, win the most championships, right? That's how you gage. Is that a track star? Well, they won the most gold records, so they're the best that ever was. So again, when you're even asking, who's the best player, what are you making those decisions off of? What are you measuring? Lesley Logan 30:52  Yeah. Feel like that's the theme here. Like, what are we measuring? And I think something that I try really hard with this podcast, with each person who's listening, be it till you see it is acting as if the thing, person, goal you want to have is happening right now, because that changes how you show up. But then you also need to know how to measure that. Is it happening? Otherwise it is going to school for 13 years. I'm wondering when you graduate now, I completely understand why we have random graduations. You graduate from kindergarten, then a few years later, sixth grade, then eighth grade, they keep helping you out. This has been amazing. I want to know what you're excited about right now, like, what's coming up for you? Because you know you're someone who doesn't sit still. You are constantly challenging yourself. It's proof, I'm based on just like, how you've talked about what it is that you've grown and what you do here. So what are you excited about that's coming up?Nick Hiter 31:38  As a man of faith, it's crazy how just things are put in front of you. We've been very aggressive for the past few years in growth, in business revenue, helping people hope all those things and like, all of a sudden, my news feed, just out of the blue, got flooded with, like, I have a daughter at home, she just turned three. It wasn't that long ago I was holding her and like, gratefulness is what I'm most excited about in the fact that, like, what's been put on my news feed is parents with their infants that just got heart transplants, or literally, like five days before my son left me, you know. And one of my clients I just found out didn't even know this, that as a parent, he had lost a child before, so all of a sudden, I looked around and realized how great I have it. And that took a lot of, that removed a lot of the frustration that I've been feeling, because I want to grow faster and realize that, like all right, all this is happening for reasons, it comes with a great responsibility, and it all starts with gratefulness. You can't have a bad day if you're grateful. A bad day and a good day is a choice. Okay, stuff's always going to happen, but how you react to it, or how you respond to it, that's what makes the good or the bad day. Okay, are you grateful for the problem or not? And if you're grateful for the problem, you're grateful for the solution. And man, it was a great day. So for me, I'm most excited about the gratitude that I'm going to be allowed to have and share with other people. Lesley Logan 33:09  Yeah, I actually think that's really, especially as someone who likes to move fast, and it can also be harder when you have a team. Yes, you can move fast, but also it's it you go farther with a team, that's what they say. You move fast, go alone, go far, have people with you. And so there has to be a different measurement, and that's something that I've been really I had a coach recently say he's like in the last six years, I missed every goal I've ever set for this business, and I'm the most successful I've ever been. And he said, if you're hitting every goal, you're not setting, your goals high enough, and really should be asking yourself, like, am I acting like the person who could have hit that goal as the team acting like that? And if so, then it was a success, and we can measure that based on these things that improved. And it's so easy, you know, I have had listeners and people we coach who go, I'm not hitting these numbers that I wanted to hit. I'm just like, I'm not good at this. And it's like, you're not good at this. We set a goal that was going to challenge you. You got really close. That doesn't, it's not failure, like there's improvement there. And if we had it hit, it like we didn't, we probably could have set the goal a little higher. I love the way you said that, because we do have a choice of whether we see it as good or bad. We have a channel in our coaching group. It's called, I need a moment. And you're allowed to, like, have a moment and just blurt it out. But there is a rule, and what I love is that our members uphold this rule. If I'm not in there, if you don't immediately go to the wins channel and share a win, people are like, this is terrible, but you got to post a win. It has to be right now. Can't be later today. Has to be right now, because if you have time to bitch, you have time to win. So they're very on top of it, and it's so fun, because now what people do is they just go to the win channel and they go, all right, I was going to have a moment, but I'm actually seeing that losing this client is the greatest thing ever, because I didn't want to work at 9am and so, you know, it's really, it really is a choice, and so thank you for reminding us. We're gonna take a brief break and then we're gonna find out where people can find you, follow you or work with you. Lesley Logan 35:06  All right. Nick, where do you like to hang out? What's your favorite socials? How can people connect with you more?Nick Hiter 35:10  YouTube and Instagram are the two that we're focused on the most, just because I feel like that's where we're having the most impact right now. And honestly, my son is kicking my tail on YouTube. Like, holy cow, he found his little niche, and he is freaking crushing. I'm talking like he's grown 14,000 subscribers in 90 days. Lesley Logan 35:28  Wow. That is impressive. I love YouTube. I love my viewers on YouTube. I love even the ones that say where it thanks me. They're my favorite.Nick Hiter 35:36  Man. YouTube hasn't always been the biggest Nick Hiter fan, so we're working on changing that, taking responsibility and fixing that, and we've brought on some new team members that are going to focus on that, which we're really excited about. But Instagram is great. Everything's @NickHiter. My website's at nickhiter.com you can get to everything from nickhiter.com even if you're interested in booking for a Keynote or booking me on a podcast appearance like this, or anything else. nickhiter.com, all my socials are @NickHiter.Lesley Logan 36:01  Perfect. Love that. And you guys, his podcast is called Hitstreak, so you can listen to it wherever you listen to this one, unless you're on the OPC app to listen to this one. You'll have to go to your podcast. Listen to a different one. Okay, you have actually given us a lot of nuggets, some great gems. I'm really excited for this, but just in case people need some not too long, didn't listen, but just an action they can take from today, what is something bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted that they can do to be it till they see it?Nick Hiter 36:30  To be it till you see it, Wayne Gretzky said, you win the game before you ever step out on the ice. Okay? So, like, life's an offensive sport, you don't win the championship by accident. You chose, okay? You chose that that was the goal you wanted, and then you did the required work, and then a lot of things had to happen. And if everything went right, you became the champion, right? But if you didn't win the championship this year, assuming it's sports and you're not aging out, then you know what you need to work on to improve to win next year. Okay? That's life, man. Life's an offensive sport. And what you're saying to yourself, again, going back to that Bruce Lee thing, you're casting spells on yourself with the words that you say. In my town, the most common greeting we need is, how are you doing? Right? So they say, Nick, how you doing? I'm unstoppable. I said it to you when I got here today.Nick Hiter 36:34  Totally I was like, I love that. Nick Hiter 36:38  Everytime I do that for two reasons. One, I've said it enough times that I actually believe it. Okay. So again, everything takes repetition, and two, people remember it, because most common response is, I'm good. Well, guess what? That's all you're going to be. That's all you're going to be. You know what I mean? So to be it till you see it, like Brad told me about the power of visualization. Some people call it manifestation. First of all, if you're going to visualize, visualize with a partner, find somebody that's going the same place you're going, because you get there twice as fast, all right. But Brad said, Nick, what kind of house you want to move into next? A big one? Well, he's like, what does that even mean? Big is a reference. It's different to everybody else. How about you say this big house. And this is the wall that my TV is going to go on, and this is the chair I'm going to sit in when I watch that TV. He's like, do you want to own a jet? Well, what's the logo that's going to be on the seats of the jet? He's like, that is being it till you see it. That's visualization, right? So, like, everything you do has got to be on purpose. And the difference between a major league pitcher and a little league pitcher is the size target they can hit. Okay? So the more specific you are with your targets or your goals, the better chances you have to hit them. Lesley Logan 38:18  Oh, I love this. You guys, it is so accurate, my brick-and-mortar studio in LA that I have only for two years. And that is absolutely wonderful, I visualized. I said, that is where my, I looked at the window of the building, I said, that's my studio right there, and it wasn't available when I walked by. Month later, I kept going, that's my studio. Just every time I walked by, I just picture my studio being there. One day, I opened up searching like for rental space, commercial rental space and it was available. And I was like, that's my spot. And when Covid happened, we visualized this house. Brad and I sat down together, and it wasn't like, we're gonna get a house. It was like, how many bedrooms? What are in those but what is each bedroom being used for? Where in Vegas is it at? And so exactly when the real estate agent sent us this house, I was like, that's the house. We like, we didn't even have a car when we moved to Vegas. We, like, rented a car, drove here. We're like, we're buying, this is the house we're buying. And we celebrate that four years ago this week. So the more sense of you are things really do happen. Nick, you're amazing. This is a wonderful conversation. I'm so jazzed up because of you. And like I said in your podcast, like you took my energy levels and positive another level, you just did it again. So thank you so much. Y'all. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Please let Nick and I know. Tag us both. Share this with a friend who needs to hear it. Maybe you've got a friend who, like needs to remind themselves that they're unstoppable, or maybe they're trying to figure out their personal brand. You can just send this to them. You don't have to even remember the things. You can just go here listen to this, because that is how we change people's lives, and also, when you change people's lives around you, your life changes too. We'll all get to work together. So thank you all so much, and until next time, be it till you see it. Lesley Logan 39:49  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 40:32  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 40:37  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 40:41  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 40:48  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 40:52  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

DANIELLA MESTYANEK YOUNG is a scholar of cults and extreme groups, and extremely bad leadership, and the author of the critically acclaimed memoir UNCULTURED. Daniella was raised in the religious sex cult, The Children of God. She later served as an intelligence officer for the US Army, making the rank of Captain, and became one of the first women in US Army history to conduct deliberate ground combat operations when she volunteered to serve on a Female Engagement Team, and received the Presidential Volunteer Service Award. TW: Please listen at your own discretion. Uncultured: https://www.amazon.com/Uncultured-Memoir-Daniella-Mestyanek-Young/dp/1250280117/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&&qid=1667828324&&sr=8-1 UnAmerican: https://www.patreon.com/GroupBehaviorGal/shop/unamerican-video-book-memoir-217440?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=productshare_creator&utm_content=join_link Twitter: @daniellamyoung TikTok: @daniellamestyanekyoung Instagram: @_daniellamyoung https://www.uncultureyourself.com/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuFRBZ2w3QsYs7Km69keHsg

We have all heard of cults, but what is a cult? What characteristics qualify an organization as a cult? This is chapter one of the cult chronicles. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cult   https://janjalalich.com/help/characteristics-associated-with-cults/   Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hm6heglECcI

Daniella grew up in the Children of God and Mike in Scientology. Together they discuss ways that the military, of which they were both in for many years,  is cultic and their differing perspectives. Click here to watch on YouTubeFind Mike!YouTube: @mikebrown101Mike's Interview: “How Scientology Almost Killed His Elderly Mother” Find Daniella!IG: @daniellamyoung_ TikTok: search #groupbehaviorgalWebsite: https://www.uncultureyourself.com/Amazon: "Uncultured: A Memoir" Previous episodes with Daniella“Her Horrific Childhood in the CHILDREN OF GOD S*x Cult ft. Daniella” “Her Parallels Between Children of God S*x Cult & the US Military ft. Daniella Mestyanek Young” “Escaping CHILDREN OF GOD, the Aftermath (ft. Daniella Mestyanek Young)” **FULLY BOOKED** Our C2C vacation where we can meet you in real life and go on adventures together has sold out! However,  you can add yourself to our waitlist in case of cancellations.   Click here to go to the official booking page https://trovatrip.com/trip/central-america/costa-rica/costa-rica-with-shelise-sola-aug-2024Daniella's cult backstoryMike's cult backstoryWhen Daniella redefined what a cult was after learning about non Christian cultsComparisons Mike drew between Scientology and the Military upon joiningDaniella's culty comparisons of the military and Children of God cultDifference in cultic experiences based on genderMike's thoughts on r*pe culture in the military- Daniella responds Difficulties of a misogynistic environmentWhen the "process" worksWhen "the process" to protect women doesn't work and whyCombat barbie and her non-regulation hairIs the Military a cult? Daniella's perspective- Mike's perspectiveGroup motivation in cult thinkThe issue with talent managementIs the fix giving back individualism and identity?Change? Mike says why the military isn't like a cultDaniella's differing opinion on camaraderie Mike acknowledges why Daniella had a different experience than himDoes the military HAVE to be like a cult for max effectiveness?Our Merch! Patreon: Patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannAny donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcastWebsite CultsToConsciousness.comFind Shelise on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousnessHost Instagram @sheliseannTikTok @cults.to.consciousnessTwitter @cultstoconTheme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara**Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**

"Earth Xperiences: Breaking Free from Cult Control with Daniella Mestyanek Young" — In this insightful episode, join Daniella Mestyanek Young, author of "Uncultured," as she recounts her life in and escape from the Children of God cult. Daniella shares her intense and enlightening experiences, providing an inside look at the operations and psychological impact of living within a cult. This episode delves into the themes of manipulation, indoctrination, and the courageous journey to reclaim one's freedom and identity. For those interested in understanding more about cult dynamics or seeking guidance on recovery, visit Daniella at www.uncultureyourself.com. Episode Highlights: Daniella Mestyanek Young's personal narrative of growing up in the Children of God In-depth discussion on the social and psychological effects of cults Advice on identifying cult-like behaviors and strategies for escape Supportive resources for recovery and personal empowerment --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/earthxperiences/message

Justin Draeger, President and CEO of the National Association of Student Financial Aid Administrators, joins the ALP to share what colleagues in admissions, enrollment, student success, presidents' offices, etc. can do to support their financial aid colleagues, who are about to do 6 to 9 months of work in about 4 to 6 weeks. A deep thinker, reader, writer and speaker, Justin also shares a bunch of excellent leadership lessons, including how, as Bertrand Russell wrote, "Fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people full of doubts." Special shout-out to the Lawrence University financial aid team, "the finest team in all the land."ReferencesWhy I Choose the Harder Commute, July 2020Finding Motivation in Tough Times, August 2020Off the Cuff, NASFAA's podcastRapid DescentWalkout song: Walk This Way, Run DMC and AerosmithBest recent read: Uncultured: A Memoir, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Remarkably Bright Creatures, Shelby Van PeltEager to read next: Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl (the cost of reading a new book is not rereading one of the best books you've already read) Favorite podcast: The Gray AreaFavorite thing to make in the kitchen: simple recipes with a chef's kiss, like fried eggs and bacon with a latte.Taking and keeping notes: a complex system of handwritten notes, Evernote and Roam Research.Memorable bit of advice: "Anyone who says he has finished a canvas is terribly arrogant. 'Finished' means 'complete, perfect.'" (Claude Monet)Bucket list: walk the Camino de Santiago.The ALP is supported by RHB. Music arranged by Ryan Anselment

In this episode I talk with Daniella about her experiences growing up in the armageddonist movement The Children of God - now known as The Family International. This movement has been exposed in various ways to the public but it remained hidden in the shadows around the world for many years whilst children and members were subjected to some of the worst abuse imaginable. Daniella tells us of her escape and arrival into another high demand group - the US military.Daniella's Book "UNCULTURED" - Uncultured: A Memoir eBook : Young, Daniella Mestyanek: Amazon.co.uk: BooksDaniella's Tedx Talk - https://www.ted.com/talks/daniella_young_lost_in_transitionGet in Touch or Support:Patreon - patreon.com/thecultvaultCrimecon UK 2024 - https://www.crimecon.co.uk - use code CULT for 10% off tickets!Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cultvaultpod/Twitter: https://twitter.com/CultVaultPodReddit: https://www.reddit.com/user/Cult-VaultGmail: cultvaultpodcast@gmail.com

Women dress modestly to stay safe around men who think that immodest women are asking for it, when in fact, we are in the most danger when we are modest in sexually repressed environments. When Tia shared the comments that stemmed from her reel about pants and fundies with no undies (@tialevingswriter) the Jezzies had to mash the fruit of modest culture and r@pe myths.  Also in this episode: Gwen Shamblin's son in pop culture and a big segment on perimenopause and medical gaslighting.  Stay fresh, betches!   Resources We Talked About Today: Video from Daniella Mestyanek-Young  “You Are Not Your Own: Rape, Sexual Assault and Consent in Evangelical Christian Dating Books” Article “The Way Down” Docuseries on Gwen Shamblin  Interview with Gwen Shamblin's son My Alloy - Perimenopause support and Hormone Therapy  Pre-order Tia's book, A Well-Trained Wife Religious Trauma + Elections Course use code WISEJEZEBELS for $15 off! #waydown #rapeculture #modestyculture #religioustrauma #perimenopause #podcastsforwomen #jezebels #heretics #apostate #gaslighting #medicaltrauma #believeher #thewaydown #gwenshamblin #remnantchurch #purityculture  The views and opinions expressed by the hosts of the Wise Jezebels are their own. This podcast does  not take the place of therapy, medical advice, or any other healing modality. For support in resolving and recovering from religious trauma, purity culture, cults, fundamentalism, and other adverse religious experiences, we encourage people to check out the Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery–a fully online trauma coaching company specializing in working with folks coming out of high control groups, systems, and relationships. The Wise Jezebels podcast is not anti-religion but it is anti -harm, -power and control, -oppression and, -abuse and will speak to the harmful practices and messaging of fundamentalist groups.  Follow Tia on Instagram and TikTok @tialevingswriter or on her website: www.tialevings.com  Follow Laura on Instagram and TikTok @drlauraeanderson or on her website: www.drlauraeanderson.com  The Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery Website: www.traumaresolutionandrecovery.com IG/Facebook: @traumaresolutionandrecovery     Hosts:  Tia Levings and Laura Anderson Editing and Production by Kevin Crowe and can be found at  www.kevincrowe.co

Chelsea Peitz, a former real estate professional, shares her journey with Lesley to becoming a social media and marketing expert. She discusses the importance of aligning your online persona with your real-life self, focusing on heart and humanity over hacks and hustles. Chelsea opens up about her challenges with OCD and how it shaped her unique approach. Learn valuable insights on genuine content creation and building online connectionsIf you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How to merge your real-life persona with your online presence for authentic content creation.How Chelsea transformed her neurodivergence from a challenge into a unique strength in her career.The power of forming deep, genuine connections through social media platforms.Strategies to overcome common fears and insecurities associated with creating online content.How meaningful conversations, not just content, can significantly enhance your social media impact.Episode References/Links:Chelsea Peitz InstagramChelsea Peitz WebsiteGuest Bio:Chelsea is an esteemed keynote speaker and content coach who leverages the power of human-centered marketing in today's tech-focused world. Drawing from her wealth of knowledge and industry expertise, Chelsea delivers innovative techniques and essential guidance that challenge traditional approaches to social media marketing and social selling. Her presentations inspire audiences to cultivate meaningful relationships, highlighting the profound impact they can have on professional success. Chelsea's impact is felt not only in the real estate industry but also across other sectors, as she coaches and educates tens of thousands of agents and loan officers each year. Professional associations, Fortune 250 corporations, and industry conferences all recognize the immense value she brings. The caliber of Chelsea's work has led to her being sought after by the biggest names in real estate. Multiple times, she has been invited to address their employees and teams, sharing her invaluable insights on personal branding, video optimization, and social media strategies.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Chelsea Peitz 0:00  You know, in my opinion, the only original content is three things: the person which is your face and voice; the personality which is the, you know, things that make you you, your flavor, your personal brand, the things that you like; and then last but probably most importantly is your perspective, the point of view, the lived experiences, and that's the part that gets really scary to share.Lesley Logan 0:22  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 1:04  All right, Be It Babe. Okay, this is really going to be a lot of fun. First of all, our guess today is just an epic human being you're going to love getting to know her story, you're also going to immediately start following her. And you're going to just love watching her stories and her life. She's just a colorful human being that just brings like joy to your face. Her name is Chelsea Peitz. And she has a really nonlinear amazing story of what got her to where she is now that you will, when you look her up, you'll see that she does incredible social media content, education and coaching, but in a way that is different than any social media content creating coach I've ever watched. It is so approachable. And I promise you this interview is not about social media, because I know not everyone. I know you're like social media. Look, you I really want you to listen to her journey. Because there are ups and downs. There are these amazing highs. We're like, oh my God, she's made it and then really an equal opposite lows. And I think it's so important that you hear a woman's story about that because it's what you know that when those things have happened to you, or when they happen to you, or if they happen to you and it doesn't reflect poorly on you and those actually can be a launchpad. So I want you to listen to her story at the beginning. And then for those of you who do want to hear how to like not hate your social media so much, there's some really great tips. So, here's Chelsea Peitz, enjoy this conversation and thank you for being a listener of the Be It Pod. I truly appreciate you we could not do this without you. Like seriously, the podcast wouldn't exist if they're like no one's listening. So thank you. Thank you for sharing this to your friend. Thank you for listening. And here is Chelsea Peitz. Lesley Logan 2:37  All right, Be It babe. This is gonna be fun because, one, I am very good friends with this guest I'm so happy that she is in my life. So forgive us if we just go off on some tangents I think you'll actually enjoy because you'll feel like you're like in the room with having a conversation with a great friend. Chelsea Peitz is our guest today Chelsea, will you tell everyone who you are, and what you rock at. Chelsea Peitz 2:55  I know, our faces, like you should see them right now because we are so excited to see each other. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for the invitation. I am Chelsea Peitz and I am a former real estate agent who became a real estate, keynote speaker, author, educator all focused on social media and marketing with heart and humanity not hustler hacks, and how to align the online you with the incredible human you are offline, which is extremely vulnerable, especially when we're creating content about ourselves and putting it on display for the world. So I'm excited to be here today. Thanks for the invitation.Lesley Logan 3:32  Oh my gosh, yeah, and it's true. Before I hit record, we already planned our next time we're seeing each other in person. So we got those important things out of the way. Okay, so I have a few questions. One, what you do, what you what you're known for, that's a lot already, like real estate. Being into real estate, that's actually really hard to get really good at that than to be a keynote speaker, and then to also transition that into using helping people with their social media to do those things that you did. Part of me is like, did you ever like we ever like am I sure I'm doing this? Is this the right thing to do? Did you ever feel like, like you're just running to the wall to see what sticks or like did it feel like a natural progression?Chelsea Peitz 4:08  Ah, yeah, all of that it was a hot mess dumpster fire. There was no and no idea in my mind ever, that I would be doing what I'm doing today. I had no idea until it really found me that teaching was my passion. And sort of the vulnerability was my uniqueness. And it really started when I was a child. I did not know at the time, I didn't know until I was in my 40s and officially, "diagnosed" that I grew up with a different kind of brain. You might call it neurodivergent. I have obsessive-compulsive disorder. And that was not something that in the 80s at least in my home, was really ever addressed or talked about. So for many, many, many years. I thought there was something wrong with me that it was a negative that it was going to hold me back for my entire life and I had some difficulties sort of processing and learning. And what I realized is that truly became one of my superpowers because I had no idea that because I needed to break things down complex topics in a very specific way, that might have taken me four times longer than anyone else that people might have looked over and thought, what are you doing? What's, what is happening over there? Drawing these things and pulling things apart, because that's how I could process them and understand them. And so I didn't know that that will be helpful to other people, I thought, well, this is the way that I've done it. And it's kind of a strange process, maybe to other people, because it's not linear. And it's kind of all over the place. And I wish I could kind of put it down on paper, but it's just how my, my process works. So what really kind of, I thought was going to be a negative, absolutely kind of turned into a positive for me. And I had no idea that that was going to help so many other people sort of see how that we could take this big complex idea of content creation and copywriting and social media and branding, which like what even is all that and be able to sort of systematize it and also humanize it, too. Lesley Logan 6:19  Yeah. I love that you brought that up. Because I do I think so many people would think, like, they would whisper like, oh, I have OCD or like, you know, it's like this thing that they don't want anyone to know about. But more and more, I've interviewed some people that like one of my guests was Daniella Mestyanek Young and she's like, my neurodivergence, my autism is the reason why you couldn't put me in the cult. She was born into a cult, she joined the military, which was she felt was another cult, and she's like, the reason because my brain works like this, it actually is my superpower. And I think the more people like you, you know, share that, the more we can maybe stop thinking of these things like dyslexia, or a different way of learning as things that are holding you back. And in fact, it's a superpower. And it's probably what's going to help you help so many others. So I think that's really cool. Lesley Logan 7:08  With real estate, and then going into speaking, I guess, like, what was the draw there? Because I'm sure you were probably like, my friends are in real estate, like they just do that, like that's their thing and they do it really, really well. Was there something calling to you? Were you just being pulled? Or did someone asked you to?Chelsea Peitz 7:26  Yeah, my story, even into real estate is is kind of an interesting one that I never planned to go into that. I, actually, out of college was working at a local gym and I was a personal trainer. And it just so happened that I ended up sort of being mentored by the owner of this, this facility, and learning sort of the behind-the-scenes of the business and how to expand it. And if you wanted to have multiple locations, and I think I probably had to be, you know, 19 or 20. So I was pretty young and learning all of that. And I ended up going to take on another position that this particular mentor who owned this company had gotten for me, and I ended up meeting my now husband, we've been married almost 20 years. So, 22 years ago and I got a phone call one day and he said, hey, you know what, I have this project I think you'd be perfect for would you be willing to move to another state? And I'm like, of course that sounds exciting, like a big girl job and like running things. And we were taking companies that were going bankrupt and turning them into profitable fitness projects and expanding them. So, you know, they said, well, hey, do you do you have any great people that you can bring along? I'm like, Well, I know this guy who's great at sales, who now is my husband. And I brought a few other people and we went up there we moved out of state to Oregon. And one day, I noticed something was off in the accounting because I was doing the accounting it turns out my mentor who brought us all up there, had embezzled all of the company money, including all of our salaries for the entire year, all of our house payments for the entire year. And I just remember, we opened up our front door and I literally sold everything because I didn't know anyone we didn't have any money. I felt terrible that I had brought these people from another state. And so when we drove home in my Geo Prizm, my Geo Prizm and a 22-hour drive, and I sold everything like I remember I sold my KitchenAid mixer for 50 bucks. That was like the most expensive thing I owned at the time. Lesley Logan 9:36  And people are like listening to your story and they're like looking at their KitchenAid going, oh my God, you slept for $50.Chelsea Peitz 9:42  I know. I know. And so we drove back to Arizona and I moved in with my mother-in-law. And we lived in this little house together. And I got my real estate license. I never intended on using it. I thought oh my gosh, what am I going to do? This is such a niche industry that I've been in and what do I do now? So I sort of fell into real estate. And that's, that's how I got into it. And I did it for, you know, as I was 10 years as a full-time realtor, I was licensed for 18. And I've been in that industry overall for 24 years. So I did not intend to ever get into real estate or speaking, or writing, or any of that it just sort of evolved. Lesley Logan 10:23  You know, thank you for sharing that because I think sometimes people are like, in a position in a different place and where they want to be, and they're like, they're, you know, feeling like they should be further along, or they're feeling like, you know, this is like, what this is, my resume doesn't make sense. And really, like, I've just figured out like, no, I don't think anyone's resume makes sense. I think everyone makes it makes sense. But it's a really long time to be in something that you probably that you fell into. Were you were you scared to start speaking or get. And then like, how did that lead into the social media thing? Because I feel like maybe things were overlapping at this point. Chelsea Peitz 11:04  Yeah, so I ended up in 2008, if anybody listening remembers those years, it was an interesting economic, economic situation happening here. And I just remember, I'm a high empath, very sensitive, I actually was gonna become a therapist before I, you know, actually went into all the things that I did. So I kind of jokingly call myself a social media therapist, but I'm highly empathetic, highly sensitive, and I thought, oh, my gosh, it would be poor form if I'm crying, and every session with every one of my clients. I really wanted to be a therapist. So I found myself very upset in that year, because I was going to client's house after client's house, including our own, we lost all of our homes. And people were crying in the kitchen, and they're like, what do I do? I don't know what to do. I'm losing my home, like, can you help me and it was, it was a lot. So I decided that I was gonna take a little break from being a realtor and I became someone that helped realtors with marketing. Now, I didn't know what I was doing. So if this can be a lesson to anyone out there, I'm a big believer, and you don't have to know what you're doing. Like, I always hired people on my team that had the passion, and the desire to learn that you didn't necessarily have experience. And so I had no experience, I had no experience in real estate when I started. I had no experience in marketing when I started. I was committed to figuring things out. And I loved the learning part of it. So as I was learning, I was very frustrated that there wasn't just like, one place that you could go, where people told you everything. And I thought, well, I'm just gonna make that as I go. And so I started helping people learn how to use Snapchat. That was the platform in the old days, in the old days.Lesley Logan 12:54  (Inaudible) elder millennial, come around the Snapchat fire children, let me tell you about dial-up. Oh, my gosh, that's amazing.Chelsea Peitz 13:02  Yeah. And you know, this, this really strange thing. And wonderful thing happened at the same time is I started getting on this app because I was making my coffee in the morning and I heard you know, Gary Vee talking about Snapchat. And he said something that really stood out to me. And he said, you know, it's, it's not about this disappearing content being nefarious or wired, why are people on it? What do they want to disappear? It's really about attention. And you know, being in the moment with someone I thought, you know, I'm just gonna give this a try. Now, you have to remember back then we didn't have live video, we didn't have Instagram stories. This was the first thing that you opened up. And there was no, there was no feed. There was no people. It was literally like, you had to create something. And it was a camera. And so mainly, you were probably talking to the camera. And then I remember meeting other people because I would search for people in real estate. And I would find people through through this the Snapchat grapevine. And I started talking to these people every day. And I would see them in their sacred spaces, I would see them in their living room, and I would see their families and I would see their pets. And I remember my husband came home one night and I said, oh my gosh, you're never gonna believe what happened to Shannon. And he's like, who's Shannon? I'm like, well, he's my Snapshot friend. He's like, oh, honey, he's like, honey, these aren't real people. You don't know these people. And I said, no, no, no, there's something different about this. And so long story short, we there was 24 of us that ended up meeting and doing a, you know, mastermind together in person, and it was beautiful and wonderful. And I still talk to those people to this day. And that was you know, in 2012 or 2013. And so I went on this journey of really studying brains biology and behavior and how we actually scientifically create screen-to-screen relationships. And let me tell you, that was not a keynote that sold very well until 2020. Okay, now we're gonna have to be on a screen and we're gonna have to how do we be human through a device and oh my gosh, for the rest of our lives, we are going to be connecting to other people in some form or fashion, whether it's a podcast or a Zoom meeting or a FaceTime with a client through technology. And so how do we create those connections? And so yeah, that was, that was sort of, you know, I wanted to learn Snapchat, and one person asked me how to use it. And then it became three and four, and then a 10-person class and a 30-person class, and then it was a 300-room stage. It never and I think that my, my superpower in how I got to those and kept getting asked was because of that special brain where I had a way to break it down, where if you would never use this thing, how you could systematically sort of understand it and try it. And it was okay, if you were afraid it was okay if you didn't want to put your face on, we can still find ways for you to use the tools. And so I think a lot of people were used to hearing oh, you have to do this. You can only be successful if you do it this way. And that way. And you'd have to post this many times. And I was like, well, I'm not doing that. And I'm making it. Lesley Logan 15:59  Yeah, no, I actually really do enjoy your feed because it's like the most approachable social media content coach I've ever met. Okay, there's a few things I want to like, go back to. So one, (inaudible) was also, I was in retail. So that's when I was I became a Pilates instructor, but I was just going to do it as a side hustle. And when everyone's canceling their Alhambra water delivery, they were paying for classes with me because they're just reevaluating how they spent their money, and things like that. So people thought I was crazy to do like that change. And, and I feel like those that time. And then also you brought up 2020, I had been doing business coaching for Pilates instructors since 2010. And I was doing like how to convert first time clients. And like, just like you, it's like people were just like, not like, well, not listening to me. And we had this coaching group that we started in 2018. And it was like just pulling teeth to get people to be in it because they're like, they'll come in for a month and they expect their business to change in a month. And we all know like it doesn't change in a month. Like it's just you're in these things for a while. And they change over time. But in May, I had already started teaching on Skype, y'all. Before Zoom, there was Skype. I've been teaching since like, I don't know, 2017 and we were flying home from Cambodia on March 13th, March 14th from Cambodia. And I was like, first of all, all of my, all of my contracts were being cancelled. And I was like, okay, I owe all this money back. And I have a studio that's closed, before I even get there. And no one knows how to do this. So I taught a workshop on how to teach on Zoom, how to price your sessions. And then and then finally, people paid attention, you know, and then it was this whole thing, because they needed to figure it out. And it was a really big tipping point for like people finally going, oh, I need I need to know how to do my business now. Because I can't just like trust it will be the same all the time. So I find, you guys, the whole point in sharing that story I just got off Chelsea's it's like, sometimes the worst, absolute worst times in our life are really just like setups for like, really cool things. Lesley Logan 18:09  So okay. Social media. Oh, my goodness, we all hate it. And we love it. And we need it. You when I first met you, you said I help people be vulnerable on social media. And I was like, oh, that I really want to know, I mean, I feel like I'm pretty vulnerable already. But like, so many people are scared to do that. And they feel like they have to put up some sort of front. And they're worried what people will say. And so I just was like let's talk about more about why you feel that being vulnerable is so important and then like how to do that in a be it till you see it kind of way. Chelsea Peitz 18:40  Yeah, my my focus is really overcoming limiting beliefs and to be completely transparent, which we have been, I love your podcast, because that's what it's all about. As somebody who struggles with at times, crippling anxiety with OCD, my entire life since I was six years old. The idea of me being vulnerable in a public forum is terrifying. And in fact, my therapist is like, okay, exposure therapy, here's what we'll do today. Because my you know, my biggest fear is a troll, a troll comment. That's so scary, right? And, you know, I deal with a lot of people who are not full-time content creators, nor have a desire to be and I was never taught like copywriting that is not my wheelhouse. So these are all things that I've kind of been learning. So there's a lot of complexity. So first, you have a layer of complexity of how to use the thing, the socials, the platforms, and then how do you make the videos and then you want to add in limiting beliefs on top of that when we're talking about video insecurity. And so just very, very simply, my best tip that I can share about limiting beliefs which is, is why we have difficulty showing up online as our as our true selves, and I'm not talking about, you know, oversharing, or sharing private things, you know, personal versus private, two totally different things. You know, in my opinion, the only original content is three things. The person which is your face and voice, the personality, which is the, you know, things that make you you, your flavor, your personal brand, the things that you like. And then last, but probably most importantly, is your perspective, the point of view, the lived experiences, and that's the part that gets really scary to share. Because we all know that not everybody is going to agree with our perspective, whether it's about the type of style that you teach Pilates, whether it's about whether you think the market is great to buy or sell a house right now, whether you think that less content is actually going to be a better strategy, whatever it is, right? People will not agree with it. And so the limiting beliefs around showing up online and really, that's where we get frustrated, because people are like, I'm doing this thing I'm doing, I've gone to all the conferences, I've taken the classes like it just said to show up consistently, and I'm doing that. Where is all my business? Lesley Logan 21:04  Yeah, yeah, just post every day or that one, one guy who's like you do your reel a day you post two times a day you go live, you do this, and I'm like, I have to eat lunch at some point, like, when is that?Chelsea Peitz 21:16  Yeah. And that strategy, that is a strategy that does work. And also, for me, as somebody who is highly anxious and has a lot of contentbstress, is burnout city, I become paralyzed. And so I can't do that. So I will also share some strategies for those who also are feeling content stress as well. But in this particular limiting beliefs, discussion, what I asked myself is one simple question. And then I'll give you a couple of examples for it as well. So the limiting beliefs that we have, first of all, the reason we're frustrated with our social media results, nine times out of 10 is because there's an there's a mismatch between the human being that you are in your content and your videos and the person that you are in the real world and we also have a lot of mindsets around well, this is social media it's not the real world. And it's not, right? It's very different. However, it's not not real life, just because I'm coming through a device, all of us spent years, from 2020 to 2022 and beyond having birthdays and holidays, and happy hours and meetings with human beings through devices like this. And was it as good as being in person? Of course not. However, when I told my parents who I didn't see for two and a half years, I love you guys. I miss you. I can't wait to see you again. Nobody would say that's not real. So it's different, you know, mindsets around it. But a lot of us, when it comes to creating content, specifically videos with us in it, feel this limiting belief of I can't stand how I look, I can't stand my voice. I'm not an expert enough, yet. People have said everything there is to say, who am I to bring something new to the table? What if I don't have any stories to tell? And so my main question, if those are things running through your head, which is very normal, they run through mine. Okay. The question I ask is, what would you do in real life? What would you do in real life? And most of your social media frustrations and questions can be answered by that one question. And so here's the example. Right? The age-old, I can't stand my voice. Let's talk about what would you do in real life? Let's imagine you're meeting a client, you're at the Starbucks or whatever, you're at your local coffee shop, and they ask you a question. And you know the answer to the question, this is your wheelhouse. This is your superpower. But instead of you actually answering the question, you're furiously writing on notebook pad, and you're writing, writing, writing, and you silently slided across the table. And it says, on the note, hey, I have the best answer for this. Here's the thing. I've heard my voice on video, it's cringe. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to write if you don't want, you sound great. So if you don't mind, just go ahead and talking. And I'm gonna go ahead and write it out, we see that these things clearly are illogical and that we would never do them in the real world.Lesley Logan 24:06  So much like that's just like, like that, too. Sometimes a little creeper.Chelsea Peitz 24:12  You're just like, oh, but now we realize we're like, oh, gosh, we wouldn't do that in real life. And, you know, it's like, you know, a lot of people are posting content that's, that doesn't have them in it. And that is, you know, there's nothing wrong with sales-focused content. But that's like throwing your business cards in someone's face and running away and then getting really mad that they didn't do business with you. And then you know, you're telling your friend, I even gave him the good cards. Oh, the ones that you had professionally designed, yeah, with a logo on it, and they still didn't want to do business with me. What would you do in real life? You'd get to know someone you talk to them, you'd ask them questions. This is the same exact thing. We're just doing it in a different vehicle. So it's not the destination. It's just a vehicle to get to the destination of creating actual real relationships through technology, which I think is great because it's free and it's scale and 24 years ago, I had to have your phone number and call you and oh my gosh, you had to answer for me to actually talk to you. Lesley Logan 25:08  Yes, I know. Like, I think about the people like I think about even when I started teaching Pilates like it was 2008. So Facebook was kind of a thing, but like not where you promote yourself. Like you were just like, it was like, what are you thinking about? Or like, what are you doing? Like, that's what you'd like wrote and it was like going to get Starbucks, like it was just a weird thing that no one how to use. So I think about like, how did I have to get clients, I had to like pound pavement and like, talk to strangers, and like, figure out a way that they wouldn't go she's a stranger talking to me. And it's true, we have this big joke at Profitable Pilates we go when you put like class at 6pm, you're basically trying to get strangers to sleep with you like that is a humongous commitment. Like if you think about in a bar, if you're in a bar, and I was like, look, maybe I'm dating myself, but that's how I found that's how I found dates, go to a bar, the dude who came up and was just like trying to make out with you. You're like, hold on, but the guy from across the bar who like made the eye contact, and then commented on your shirt, and then asked you your name. Like that was the one you wanted. It was because the other one came on too strong. That's what it's like when you're like, come take my class, by my thing you're like, basically like in their face coming on too strong. They just met you try not to sleep with them on the first day.Chelsea Peitz 26:21  Oh, that is a great analogy.Lesley Logan 26:22  I think business and dating are very similar. So in my my past life, I run a dating blog. And so that's kind of how that my brain works there. Oh, I know, I made dating my job back in 2013, guys. It's kind of how I got into blogging. But anyways, I really like how you said like, think about your social media as like what you would do in real life. So if you don't like your voice, like what would you really do? You guys, if it helps. I don't really like the sound of my voice. But exposure therapy, I have to listen to everybody. I have to watch any YouTube video that we put out. I like I have to like watch my face. I'm like, really what is going on in my eye there like, and let me tell you, none of the trolls have even said what's going on with my eye there. So like, it's really quite funny how we get a little judgmental. People don't hear your voice the same way that you do. Chelsea Peitz 27:16  No, they don't. And I just want to give a little bit of a scientific reason that all of us are kind of going through that. You know, the worst thing is, you know, people say public speaking is like the biggest fear. I honestly think it's watching your own videos back sometimes especially can you imagine if you had to do it in front of people, people that knew you, your friends, oh, that's even like cringier so a lot of us are people that want to be prepared. And we're creating content that positions us as an authority in our field, whatever that may be. Chelsea Peitz 27:48  So naturally, we start to prepare. And we might have a script, we may write out ideas, we may think that we have to appear as a specific persona or version of ourselves to be taken seriously and build that authority. And so what happens, as people who want to be prepared, we do these things. And then what happens is the mismatch on the video, because we are if you're scripting or if you're memorizing, you are thinking about the third bullet point, and your mouth and face are on the first one, and it activates a different part of our brain. That is into memorization and reading versus the actual conversation. And so then what usually happens is we have these warmth cues in our face that are completely dull. And that's not how we're used to talking and seeing ourselves and imagining ourselves talking. And so when we watch that back, we're like, that's me, but it's a misalignment. Also, we're usually not moving our bodies or moving our hands. And one of the funny things I tell people is trying to do a walk in a talk, because it's oddly will distract your mind from every single thing that you're saying and how your voice sounds. Chelsea Peitz 28:55  So I wish I had those tips when I was starting video and back in the old days, because I just had that mindset that if you just keep doing it, you'll sweat your way through it. And friends, I didn't watch a video of mine for five years. I don't recommend that strategy. However, if that is the self awareness that you have, where you will not make another video if you watch it back, then don't watch it back because I knew at that time in my life and that season, I was not going to make another video if I watched it back. Now I do watch my videos back and I feel much more comfortable with it. But I didn't have those. I didn't know the why. Why am I feeling so off when I see myself and by the way, scientifically, the acoustics in your brain are different. So the fact that you hear yourself differently than you think you sound everybody does. It's been scientifically proven and we are typically looking in the mirror when we're getting ready in the morning and often we're singing reverse image and my face is not symmetrical. So it's like this, this incongruence in your brain where you're like, I know that's my face, but it looks a little bit different. You change those warmth cues too and then you have this like double layer. And you don't even realize that's happening. It's subconscious, right? We're just picking up on something is off. And the only thing we can attribute it to is it's us. We're the problem, right? Chelsea Peitz 30:21  So yeah, so there's a you know, a lot of a lot of work also to that goes into gosh, my least favorite words authenticity and value when it comes to social media and content. And they're my least favorite only because they're the most under-explained. It's very hard to be authentic in front of a camera, like, what does that mean? Right? The value. Well of course, we want to provide value, but like, exactly what is value? Can you define that for me? A lot of people are like, oh, you're so comfortable on camera, and I love that it's authentic. And I'm like, yeah, well, it wasn't always and to tell someone, just be yourself on camera is really hard. Because we should be self-aware and know ourselves, but we're really not. And that's sort of the journey of, of self-awareness that I've been going through for years and will continue to go through.Lesley Logan 31:10  Yeah, I love that you brought that up. Also the permission to not watch I had to learn how to do iMovie back in it must have been 2013. Maybe it was 2014. Because these girls that I tried to be Pilates instructors were like, you should audition for the next Pilates Anytime instructor and I was like, I What do I have to do? And they're like, we've got a YouTube channel and I was like, so okay, already like now I gotta learn tech. I have to like, and I had to like film it of course this is you guys. People don't believe when Brad and I, we didn't have a tripod for a long time. Tripods were expensive back then you guys, you now, you get like a $12 like thing that will hold your phone, it will last for years, this tripod, the first tripod we bought was over $100. It was so expensive to like, have it do what we need to do. So Brad would have to hold (inaudible). So my girlfriend's like holding my phone really still. We have to wait for the fire trucks to go by. Right. We film the thing I have to now edit, you know, the beginning and the end, I have to upload this whole thing. And I saw myself teach and I, if it hadn't been for those girls, I would never have submitted because they were like, they took the time out of their day to be the body to film it. And I was like, oh my God, who is going to vote for me, you guys. I ended up in the top 10. And yeah, huge like because my peers like the these famous teachers had to like vote me in and then I didn't win. But I had this video out there. When Brad was like, you have to do YouTube. I was like, no, I shouldn't do it. Like my (inaudible) perspective. Like there's people been teaching longer than me who might do this. And he's like, I don't care. You're gonna do it. You guys, I didn't watch any of those videos for years. Brad edited them. They went up and I it took me years before I actually watched one start to finish. You get better when you watch yourself back, I'm just gonna tell you right now you can actually (inaudible) oh, it looks really weird when I do that thing. Okay, I won't do that thing. Like, it doesn't have to be like, you're terrible. But we left all those videos up and people, you know, either they just see that my hair has gotten longer. But I leave them up because I think it's important for people to see like how far I've come not just with technology, which has changed amazingly. But also just you get better the more you do things like that's just how it goes.Chelsea Peitz 33:18  Yeah, and that's the human experience. Really, it's it's the person who's watching you now, that went down the rabbit hole because they want to be there inspired by you. And they want to do what you're doing and happen to find videos from 2013. And I would venture to guess that that person isn't like, oh my gosh, look at this back when she was that? It's wow, look at this and how how I could start here and and I could become that. So yeah, I want people to see that because I am a human being who evolves and changes and permission-giving is a big part of my my ethos and my brand. Because I tell people listen, if you don't feel like showing your face right now, okay, listen, maybe you're putting maybe you're taking care of a parent, maybe your parent is leaving their home and you're, you're helping them, you know, figure out their their life. Maybe you just lost your job. And maybe you're just having a mental health challenge right now. And that's okay. You know, there's different seasons of life and business, and you have the permission to do what you need to do to take care of yourself first. And if you're like, I just want to post once a week. And that's just what I want to do. Great. Let's make it an awesome one. Let's let's make that the one thing you want to do if you don't want to show your face and videos. Okay, let's figure out how we can still create relationships that don't require that. So yeah, I'm all about permission. Lesley Logan 34:51  Oh, yeah. I love that. I think that's really I think it's important because you're a human being and like you're gonna have different times in your life and like, yeah, especially if you have a business that requires putting yourself out there, you're gonna have to, you might have to keep doing that even going through things. But you can do that in different ways. It doesn't have to always be the same. I really enjoy, I enjoy that permission. I also really love your outlook on like, on social media, because you're right, you don't, you don't have to do it every day. It's not your job. In fact, it's not even on social media, it's kind of your job, it's not your job. You know, it's not your you do full time you do other things. I want to I want to ask you like what you're super excited about right now what's coming up for you?Chelsea Peitz 35:36  Oh, I am super excited that I am doing something that I swore I would never do. And if I'm being really honest, I probably knew that I was kind of lying to myself all these years when I said I wouldn't do another book. And now with our amazing group that we mastermind with, I have decided I'm gonna do a third book. And I'm very, very, very excited about that. And I feel much different about it. I feel like I'm gonna be very calm. I was not calm before, there was one story that people still and I just actually talked about it yesterday on my Instagram stories where I posted a little snippet that I started the third book. And there was somebody that said, and this is an important lesson here within a lesson somebody said, I remember following you on your first book about Snapchat. And that was years, years ago. And so just people you people are connecting while they're consuming, even if they're not in your DMs or your feed every day. And I remember there was one story where I was so stressed, I had never written a book before, I didn't know what I was doing another instance of that. And I printed out a whole book on my printer at home. And I literally had cut each sentence. And I had this long 13-person dining room table. And I had taken the sentences these strips of paper that I had cut, and I was moving them around deciding where I wanted them in different because I just couldn't do it on the on the Word document on the computer. And I remember people saying, are you okay? Is everything okay? (inaudible) We're concerned about you. But there you go. That was my that was the way that my brain was able to do it. But yes. So I'm excited because I am officially going to be creating the third book, and I'm not going to self-publish it. I've self-published the other two. So I'm going to go probably hybrid model but more traditional publishing. And it's, you know, I think I think the title is going to be something like, you know, Build an Un-copy-pastable Brand something along along those lines. So yeah, exciting.Lesley Logan 37:44  This is exciting. And I you have to we'll have to have you back on when you get the then you've gone through the journey and the book is gonna come out because I do want people to hear that journey. We've had other authors come on and share the journey of getting the publisher and it's, it's, there's a story in there. And there's so much to go in there. And it helps us all see that it's not just doesn't just go like you write something, you hit print and someone's like, I'm gonna buy it. So I really can't wait to tell that story because it's going to be beautiful. And I can't wait to buy this book when it's out already. Like it's going to be purchased for many people. Chelsea, we're going to take a brief break and then find out where we'll find you, follow you or work with you and your Be It Action Items.Lesley Logan 38:01  All right, Chelsea, where do you like to spend your time on the socials where is your website? Where can people, if they want to learn more about social media, work with you?Chelsea Peitz 38:28  My favorite social platform that I hang out the most on is Instagram primarily because of Instagram stories. They are my favorite thing in the world. And you will really get to know me and create that I feel like I already know your feeling. So I'd love to hear from you, send me a DM let me know you came from the show. And also my website and Instagram. They're just my name. So my first and last name, it's Chelsea.Peitz. P-E-I-T-Z. And I know you'll put that in the show notes. So definitely send me a message and let me know. I've got a ton of free courses on Instagram, downloads, guides, I really, really give everything away. And my business coach is like, well, at some point, you are gonna have to sell something (inaudible). My book is on there and everything. And yeah, so that's where I hang out the most. But yeah, you can find those resources either on my Instagram profile or on my website. Lesley Logan 39:20  Perfect. Well, I've already started downloading them, you guys so you will be too. Okay, before I let you go, you've already given us so many lessons and tips. But for the too long, didn't read or the you know, just maybe an action item that we didn't touch on today. What are your bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it? Chelsea Peitz 39:38  I'm gonna give you my favorite, favorite, favorite social media tip. It's the thing that I start everything with. It'll be the second chapter of my book. And it's about changing your mindset today about the idea of content creation because I know that's the number one challenge. What do I post? I don't create content. How do I do this? I don't want to be creating videos all the time. Okay, so here's my one mindset shift for you to take on today is to reframe how you think about content and to reframe it in the sense that the most important content, the most original content, the most mindshare-building content that you can ever create is actually not traditional content at all. It's your conversations. And we already mentioned this earlier in the in the show, 24 years ago, I had to have your phone number you had to you had to answer I had to mail you something, I had to put postage on something, I had to drive somewhere and meet you. And now we have this beautiful opportunity to connect with other human beings, not sell to them, but literally talk to them, and comment on their posts. And also send them a direct message and say, hey, I just wanted to let you know, you've really inspired me today. Thank you. So we have the ability to create relationships, first and foremost, without ever making a video. And we can do it in 30 seconds a day, in our pajamas, from bed. And here's the one little extra bonus point, right? When you talk to people on the socials, whatever social media platform of your choice, the social media platform wakes up and says, oh, you want to talk to this person more in the future. So what it actually does is it trains your algorithm, and it works harder and smarter for your future content. So that when you do post something, that person that you've been talking to and supporting and connecting with and encouraging, that person is going to see your content. And they're also going to have this really positive them-focused experience because you're just supporting their content. So don't be discouraged that you need to go out and get a videographer and create content and learn all these hooks and those calls to actions. The real strategy is talking to people and it's an old sales strategy from the beginning of sales time. How many people, how many conversations have you had today? And you can do it for free at scale from your bed on social media, right? Lesley Logan 42:00  Brad's gonna love this so much because he has his whole thing on like 200 no's to rejection like him, back in his sales days, he was like he was told like you if you get rejected 200 times you'll be successful. And so he was just like out there to talk to people and he'll go oh, I got rejected. That's he gamified it, that's one, that's two like, oh, that person that rejected me and he had to say oh, like so I do love this. I love it because one it gives you all permission to consume a little bit which might even give you some ideas but also you know, if you're if you're not wanting to create content, create yet, building those relationships is going to make you feel so supported when you do because all those people, you're right, because Chelsea and I talked like, you know, looking into each other's stuff. I see her posts, I'm like, oh, look at this, oh, I needed this today. That's so amazing. So it really does brighten your day and it does change the social experience. I think so. I love that. Chelsea, thank you for your amazingness and being you and sharing your story and being so vulnerable and giving us all permission. It's just really beautiful. I'm so grateful. Y'all how we're going to use these tips in your life. Make sure you tag Chelsea Peitz or DM her. Hey, you can actually do the Be It Action Item with her. You can actually just go have a conversation with her. I think that's actually really great. I want you to do that homework. Tag the Be It Pod. Let us know how you enjoyed this and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 43:16  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.   Lesley Logan 43:44  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @Be It Pod.  Brad Crowell 43:59  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 44:04  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 44:08  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 44:15  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 44:18  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ever wonder about basic training in the military? What about how the BITE Model of Authoritarian Control applies to military personnel? With so many veterans who have returned to society, many do not seem to have been given the necessary psychological support to integrate and thrive. There is large amounts of active trauma as well as a high suicide rate. In 2022, Daniella Mestyanek Young acclaimed memoir Uncultured was published. It delved into being born into the Children of God sex cult, escaping, enlisting in officer's training and her experiences as one of the first women to be in active combat as an Army Captain in the Intelligence Corps in Afghanistan. Young has since earned her Master's in Industrial and Organizational Psychology from the Harvard Extension School and has been unpacking her life experiences in very important ways for people to understand. Join me for this fascinating and disturbing interview. Learn more about Steven Hassan and Freedom of Mind Resource Center. Visit freedomofmind.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Growing up abroad in the COG cult meant that Daniella Mestyanek Young was isolated from birth to be a subservient, s*x item for the men in the group. At 15, a few months before she was about to be "on the menu" she realized she needed to get out. We talk about how difficult it can be when leaving a cult and rediscovering one's identity along with learning how the world works. Daniella Mestyanek Young is an Author, a TEDx Speaker, a s*x-cult survivor, a US Army Combat Veteran, an extremely advanced knitter, and someone who studies & thinks a lot about toxic group behavior and leadership demagoguery.Click here to watch on YouTubeTo enter the "Uncultured: A Memoir" book giveaway do the following:1. On instagram, add a story saying why you liked this episode (video or text is ok)2. Tag @cultstoconsciousness and  @daniellamyoung_That's it!Daniella on social!TikTok: @daniellamestyanekyoungIG @daniellamYoung_Website: https://www.uncultureyourself.com/Amazon: "Uncultured: A Memoir"How Children of God is a cultCults often present as "shiny, happy, people"Learning young, how to respond to "outsiders" Daniella's "ah-hah" moments when she decided to escapeMarriage & forced polyamoryTW: Mentions of child sex abuseWhen Daniella starts rebelling to get kicked outHow Daniella escaped from Mexico to the US at 15When trauma catches up & finding identity without cultureFinding freedom after a cult & pushing backWhen did the REAL Daniella come out?TW: Mention of suicide ideationParenting and life for Daniella nowTips from Daniella about finding community after a cultOur C2C vacation where we can meet you in real life and go on adventures together has 7 spots left!  Click here to go to the official booking pageOur Merch! Patreon: Patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannAny donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcastWebsite CultsToConsciousness.comFind Shelise on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousnessHost Instagram @sheliseannTikTok @cults.to.consciousnessTwitter @cultstoconTheme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara**Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**

Following their investigation into New Mount Carmel Center, Hadley and Alyssa resume their discussion of the infamous 1993 Waco siege. Hoping to better understand the actions of those embroiled in the conflict, they're joined by author and cult scholar Daniella Mestyanek Young, who, as a cult survivor and Army veteran with a Masters in Organizational Psychology, provides valuable insight into the perspectives of each side. Speaking to her own experiences, Daniella talks about growing up in the Children of God cult as well as her time serving in the Army, and the parallels she's noticed between those two chapters in her life. The hosts also pick her brain on all things coercive control, including how cult leaders utilize isolated locations and strict living conditions to control their followers. Wrapping up the episode, Alyssa and Hadley reflect on the stories they shared this season.  SWEEPSTAKES *IMPORTANT DISCLOSURE: Following @Darkhousepodcast and liking Darkhouse's ‘Uncultured' Memoir sweepstakes post is required to enter Darkhouse's ‘Uncultured' Memoir Sweepstakes and does not necessarily signify an endorsement of the brand or post.* NO PURCH. NEC. TO ENTER OR WIN. Darkhouse ‘Uncultured' Memoir Sweepstakes. Sponsored by Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. From 11/15/23 at 12:01 AM (ET) - 11/22/23, at 11:59 PM (ET), follow @Darkhousepodcast on Instagram and like Darkhouse's ‘Uncultured' Memoir sweepstakes post. Open to US, DC, & Canada (excluding Quebec) residents from age of majority. Void in Puerto Rico. Subj. to rules at https://www.housebeautiful.com/promotions/sweeps/a45701029/darkhouse-uncultured-memoir-sweepstakes-2023/. CREDITS Alyssa Fiorentino - Co-host & Producer Hadley Mendelsohn - Co-host & Producer Jessy Caron - Producer & Audio Editor To advertise on the show: https://www.advertisecast.com/DarkHouse or email us at sales@advertisecast.com.  RELATED LINKS ‘Uncultured: A Memoir' by Daniella Mestyanek Young: https://amzn.to/497qeIQ  ‘Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism' by Amanda Montell: https://amzn.to/406FPnQ  “Joaquin Phoenix and Rose McGowan Spent Their Early Years in a Religious Cult. Then it Became Infamous.” Esquire (ARTICLE): https://bit.ly/3Q7gTb9  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Read the full transcript here. How do the experiences of children born into cults differ from members who join as adults? Why do some cults that grow out of western evangelical Christianity — which is notoriously obsessed with purity culture — often flip the script about sex and turn promiscuity into a virtue? How does age affect the ease with which one internalizes cult programming? To what extent do cult members approve of sexual abuses committed the name of religion? What sort of tactics do cult leaders employ to keep members from leaving? In what ways are militaries like cults? Why has the US military been so slow to fix its culture of rape and abuse of women? What are "thought-stopping" clichés? What defines a cult? What are the often unseen or less tangible consequences of leaving a cult? What sins are considered unforgivable in a cult? What are some examples of cult-like groups that don't necessarily meet every single criterion for cult-ness?Daniella Mestyanek Young was born a third-generation member of the infamous Children of God religious cult. She grew up being trafficked around the world before escaping that life and moving to America at age 15. She put herself through high school and graduated as college valedictorian before commissioning into the US Army as an intelligence officer. She deployed twice to Afghanistan (in 2011 and 2014) and became a member of one of the Army's first Female Engagement Teams (an experiment that put women into deliberate ground combat for the first time in Army history and eventually led to the repeal of the sexist combat ban and the gender desegregation of the entire US military). She is a proud daughter of the 101st (the unit featured in Band of Brothers), a recipient of the Presidential Volunteer Service Award from President Obama, and is currently pursuing a Master of Arts in Organizational Psychology at the Harvard Extension School where she focuses her research on group behavior, social norms, culture, extremism, leadership demagoguery, and cults. Learn more about her at her website, uncultureyourself.com. [Read more]

Susanna Guarino - Religious Trauma in RelationshipsDivorced: Christian FundamentalismToday's guest is musician and therapist Susanna Guarino. Susanna is a licensed mental health counselor in private practice in NY specializing in religious trauma, spiritual abuse recovery, and couples' therapy. Susanna's own parents met in a neo-puritanical Christian cult. She spent a lot of her childhood learning fire and brimstone theology and memorizing verses from the King James Bible. FIND SUSANNA:website: http://www.goodearthcounseling.commusic: https://susannarose.bandcamp.com/track/winter-days and http://www.susannarose.comSusanna@goodearthcounseling.com RESOURCES MENTIONED·         Gottman Method https://www.gottman.com/·         Educated, by Tara Westover https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Educated_(book)·         Uncultured, by Daniella Mestyanek Young (speaking at CORT2023) https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/uncultured-daniella-mestyanek-young/1140777590·        CORT2023 https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/Support this podcast on Patreon (starting as low as $2/month) and get access to bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/janiceselbie Thanks to my newest patrons: Marie, Mary,  and Peter. Every dollar helps.Tickets now available for CORT2023: https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/Subscribe to the audio-only version here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcastFollow Janice and the Conference on Religious Trauma on Social Media: Mastodon: JaniceSelbie@mas.toTwitter: https://twitter.com/divorcereligionTwitter: https://twitter.com/Wise_counsellorTwitter: https://twitter.com/ComeToCORTFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligionTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janiceselbieInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/wisecounsellor/The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.Support the show

In part two of her interview with Lola & Meagan, Children of God survivor and military veteran, Daniella Mestyanek Young, talks about joining the military after high school, being a woman in a hyper masculine culture, and unsettling parallels between what she saw in the military and the Children of God. Check out our great sponsors!! Shopify: Run your own business? Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com/trustme ZocDoc: Need a doctor? Go to Zocdoc.com/trustme and download the Zocdoc app for FREE! Progressive: Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive!

Daniella's WebsiteBuy her book! Uncultured: A MemoirDaniella's socials:TikTokInstaTwitterResources/BooksPatreonSupport the show

Today's podcast show, talks about the reality I deal with as an Intersex/DSD person and how I cope with being an Intersex/DSD person dealing with homophobia and dealing with a world not designed for people like me.   Audible book recommendations All the Light We Cannot See: A Novel by Anthony Doerr https://amzn.to/3PBetRH Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng https://amzn.to/454RMep Uncultured: A Memoir by Daniella Mestyanek Young https://amzn.to/469uvt5   Support my affiliates Podbean affiliate: https://www.podbean.com/NCPB Advertise on Podbean: https://sponsorship.podbean.com/NCPB Audible Gift Memberships: https://amzn.to/3of4yqZ Try Audible Plus: https://amzn.to/41yjsXV Shop MyID: https://lddy.no/1frus Ebay Deals: https://t.ly/oBfE Amazon Deals: https://amzn.to/3JhPnoK  

In part one of her interview with Lola & Meagan, Children of God survivor and military veteran, Daniella Mestyanek Young, discusses being raised in the Children of God, the various forms of punishment she and the other children experienced, how child sexual abuse was not only encouraged but part of the belief system, how the youth were taught to practice for raids and lie to protect the group, why 9/11 was a turning point in her beliefs, and how she finally left the cult. Trust Me is brought to you by Prose! Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order at Prose.com/trust Got your own story about cults, extreme belief, or abuse of power? Leave a voicemail or text us at 347-86-TRUST (347-868-7878) OR shoot us an email at TrustMePod@gmail.com CHECK OUT OUR MERCH!! bit.ly/trustmemerch INSTAGRAM: @TrustMePodcast @oohlalola @meaganelizabeth11 TWITTER: @TrustMeCultPod @ohlalola @baberahamhicks TIKTOK: @TrustMeCultPodcast

Cassie and Daniella went live on TikTok to chat about their shared experience of cult like business coaches. They also discuss Daniella's "Guru Gotcha Checklist" and examples of similar traits of cult like leaders. Did you know I have art available? https://thecassiemarie.gumroad.com Follow Cassie on TikTok- www.TikTok.com/@the.cassiemarie Instagram- www.instagram.com/the.cassiemarie YouTube- ​⁠ @nocultyvibes Follow Daniella on TikTok- www.TikTok.com/@daniellamestyanekyoung Instagram- www.instagram.com/daniellamyoung_ Buy Daniella's book Uncultured https://www.amazon.com/Uncultured-Memoir-Daniella-Mestyanek-Young/dp/1250280117/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=uncultured&qid=1695419636&sr=8-1

Dive with Lesley and Brad into the intricate world of cults and their underlying psychology. Gain insights into the red flags and concept of bounded choices that hint at cult-like behaviors.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Key red flags to be aware of when entering a group.Traits of cults and steps to take if you're entangled in one.Strategies to ensure your group or business remains cult-free.Tips on selecting trustworthy people to associate with.The significance of visualizing your desired future and planning in reverse.Episode References/Links:Join Our Coaching Team For Seven Days Of Tackling Your Biz StrugglesCambodia Pilates RetreatJoin our email list!Free WebinarDaniella Mestyanek Young's websiteEp 27: Is Your Hustle Now Just a Hassle? (ft. Kareen Walsh)  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Get your 15% discount for Toe Sox – use coupon code LESLEY15Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship Join us at our Cambodia Retreat - Oct. 8-13, 2023FREE Ditching Busy WebinarAmy Ledin - Episode 5: "How to take fast action against limiting beliefs" ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  One of the things to like be aware of is they do things in a coercive place, and she called it bounded choice. So you think you have fear, you start you think you have freedom, but really, there's this coercive control. There's this like pressure, like you think you could, like, maybe not come on a Thursday, but then everyone's like, "Why aren't you here?"Lesley Logan 0:12  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 0:19  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It Interview Recap where my co-host and my friend and I are going to talk about the illuminate (Brad: The what?)Lesley Logan 0:20  Leave it in. The illuminative. I saw that and I was like this is not gonna go out (Brad: Illuminative.) Illuminative? (Brad: Yeah.) You're gonna put that before her name? (Brad: Yeah.) Convo I had with Daniella Mestyanek Young. In our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen now. And like, I know I said this every week, but fucking go listen to that one.Brad Crowell 0:47  Oh, it's a great episode. Lesley Logan 0:48  She is amazing. And since then, she has been quoted in the, it was it was the Washington Post or The Wall Street Journal. Either one is still like, like badass like, not just like one quote, like, they did a whole profile on her because of like, like, because of the expertise she has in this topic. And so anyways, we're gonna get a little culty here. Well, actually, we're gonna get unculty is what we're gonna do in this episode.Brad Crowell 1:16  So congratulations. You're all cult members now? Lesley Logan 1:20  No, no, we are not a cult. We are a group. We are just a group.Brad Crowell 1:25  I know what it's the opposite of everything that she stands for. We are a group. That's what she stands for. We're just a group. Brad Crowell 1:32  We're just a group. It's a good group.Lesley Logan 1:33  You know, I think we talked about this in the podcast, we're going to do a segment she asked like, before we hit record, like, is Pilates like culty? And I said, oh, it can be (Brad: And you laughed.) I laughed. (Brad: Yeah.) I totally laughed. I said, it can be. It's like a scuff. Like a true scuff, right? And recently, I was traveling somewhere and it like, there are some people that might think that they're like part of a group. But like, if you can't go to another person's thing, because of the group you're in, that's a cult. (Brad: That's a cult.) You should be able to go and explore other groups without offending people in your group anyways,Brad Crowell 2:10  No, in no way shape, or form is one person 100% correct. (Lesley: No.) Literally not possible.Brad Crowell 2:18  I am on a fucking mission when it comes to the Pilates industry. And I'm, you know, I'll I'll probably die trying but I just I want people it's supposed to be fun. It's a fucking workout. And like you're never supposed to stop learning. And you can not agree with someone who could not like something that they do or the way that they do it. That doesn't mean you could only like someone else. Anyways, today is September 21, 2023. And it's World Gratitude Day. And this day aims to remind us of the importance of expressing gestures of thanks and appreciation. (Brad: I'm grateful for the 12 apostles of Pilates.)Lesley Logan 2:57  Hear you now. I actually really like this, because ways you can express gratitude, just like just just maybe like, maybe for maybe for the day, like, just set a reminder, like set a note that when you're procrastinating to just text, anybody in your contacts list. Hey, you know what, thanks for saying that one thing a month ago, I just thought of you. And I really remember when you said that, like, just try for one day to sending random acts of gratitude in your text messages. You have no idea whenever I get those from a friend. (Brad: Yeah.) It's like they always come at the time where you're like,Brad Crowell 3:31  You need them the most. Lesley Logan 3:32  When you're like, why the fuck do I even exist?Lesley Logan 3:36  So anyways, not to be dramatic. But seriously, it's really true. And, you know, and something that I did while I was traveling is I was like, waiting for a door to open. So I was scrolling through stories, which is like something I never do. And there was people who are posting things that are friends of mine or tangentially. And like, instead of responding in their DMs I texted them, my response would be in their DMs. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, because it's way more fun to text back and forth you know I did some voice text messages. Anyway, I could have done it. I could have done it, the DMs but it's complicated. And so I just, I also want people to see in there. I don't want people to scare their text messages. Like, you know, anyways, (inaudible) today. Brad Crowell 4:15  Yeah, I mean, even even if you don't have a specific thing that you're grateful for about them, just texting them and say, hey, I was thinking about you. Yeah, is magic. Yes. You know, so and I really encourage you to make a habit of if somebody pops into your head, tell them and you don't have to tell them what you thought about you can but it could just be like, hey, I was thinking about you hope you're loving life. Lesley Logan 4:41  Did we talk about this on the podcast about Tasha? Brad Crowell 4:43  We, actually we have, a couple weeks ago, Lesley Logan 4:47  Okay, yeah, I'm not kidding. Like me just thinking I just we we made a funny little voice note. I'm like, we're in my dreams. And it was like the thing she needed for that. Brad Crowell 4:57  Yeah, that was uplifting. Yeah. anyways, today's World Gratitude Day so you know, (Lesley: Go be grateful.) Do it. Be fucking grateful. Lesley Logan 5:05  This is your cult leader speaking. (Brad: Be grateful.) It felt like you were doing the as you wish.Brad Crowell 5:19  Yeah, right.Lesley Logan 5:21  We also we literally just wrapped up Agency Mini 9. Wow. Wow. Wow. So much fun. And I am going to have to learn how to like voice to text my computer for at least a week to get my finger.Brad Crowell 5:34  Oh, that's my jam. That's what I do now.Lesley Logan 5:36  I know I just don't think that any of the things understand my words at all. At all. Brad Crowell 5:44  Well, you can blame Siri for that.Lesley Logan 5:46  I don't know, maybe I don't speak English well.Brad Crowell 5:49  I think you're just fine. I think you're just fine.Lesley Logan 5:52  Well, Siri doesn't understand my accent. Anyways, we just wrapped it up. It was phenomenal. It was fucking amazing. It's brilliant. If you're like, Oh, my God, I missed it. You did? And the next one isn't until probably in six months. I don't actually have the dates in front of me. I don't think we've set them. And the truth is we do it twice a year. But we've been constantly only doing once a year. And we're where are we got a big team meeting coming up. So get on the waitlist. And we'll let you know when the next one is, it's profitablepilates.com/mini. And I'll put you on the waitlist for that. Anyways, you guys were amazing. You're awesome. And my only ask is that you take some action this week, take messy action. Take that information, because once you start to take action with it becomes less overwhelming.Brad Crowell 6:34  If you're wondering what Mini is it's a seven day brief snippet of our fitness business coaching program.Lesley Logan 6:41  I thought they were all on the cult. Brad Crowell 6:42  Yeah. No, we're not speaking a language that only cult members know. And it will help you lay the foundation of who you are, what it is that you do what you actually offer, who you're trying to connect with. And then how do you communicate that in a way that attracts those clients to you? And that's the key. You know, once you understand those things, what do you do with it? It's how you put that all out there and the way that you're speaking and the things that you're saying are going to attract the clients that you want to work with. So it's like an amazing week. It's absolutely worth you like exploring that. Whether you've been in business for two months or 20 years. You should do agency mini. So get yourself on the waitlist go to profitablepilates.com/mini.Lesley Logan 7:28  Yeah. And then we're a couple weeks away from getting our passes on the plane. Yeah, going to Cambodia, we'll be there for a while. (Brad: I could not wait) and it's actually gonna be really exciting because they've been making some massive changes to the infrastructure there. (Brad: Yeah, crazy changes.) Part of me is like, I really I'm grateful for the sidewalks it does mean I won't get ran over by tuk-tuk. But also, like there was something cool about like, walking (Brad: Field adventures.) while massive, like, huge buses like just like going by. (Brad: It totally do.) So anyways, we are so excited to be going there. We've got an incredible group, our house is full. If you are like someone who's like makesBrad Crowell 8:10  We're taking one of the two rooms that our manager has. (Lesley: Oh, we are?) Yeah. (Lesley: We moved her out? (Brad: Well, not moved her out. But she sent her kids to her dad's their dad's place.) (Lesley: Oh, that's amazing.) Yeah. Because we needed the rooms. Lesley Logan 8:25  Yeah. Well, that's so cool. So anyways, we'll be there for a few weeks. And if you are wanting to go on the next one, because the reality is, is that unless you really love flying (inaudible) and booking a trip across the world in two weeks, or maybe you live in Thailand, you want to come if you visit LesleyLogan.co/retreat.Brad Crowell 8:43  Very easy to come from Singapore, PS.Lesley Logan 8:44  Yeah, and also like (Brad: Singapore, India, you know, it's all very quick.) Yeah, it's all very, very quick. You can also come from any other place in the world. It's just a little longer. And then November, we'll be I'll be in Chicago, with Erika Quest. So we've got some workshops going on over there. Brad Crowell 9:04   And stay tuned on the Instagrams for that. Lesley Logan 9:06  Yeah, or our email list. So you can do that.Brad Crowell 9:11  Go to opc.me/email. Lesley Logan 9:13  Oh, perfect. Do that. And then we'll on December, we'll be back on our winter tour. We're actually in meetings as we, as this episode drops on what that tour is going to look like and cities and all that. So we should have those details out. And they will be of course announced here, but mostly if you are on that, if you're on the email, Brad Crowell 9:32  Yeah, but it's actually opc.me/emails I got that wrong. It's plural,Lesley Logan 9:36  Plural, plural. This team will get it. Okay. We want to get all into Daniella but firstly, the audience question. Brad Crowell 9:44  We do, we have a question. So this week, we had a question from when you were recently in Poland, and you were there teaching a workshop and it was basically was mostly about Controllogy right. I mean, it was a, it was a classical Pilates conference. Yes, it was you and Karen Frischmann. And then also Jay zoomed in, right. Yes. Jay zoomed in. So fun. Yeah, amazing. Lesley Logan 10:10  It was so fun. I thought he was just gonna like do a Q&A. Because Jimmy Buffett died. I wouldn't had margaritas with a couple girls for like, I don't know, Jimmy Buffett is like, Oh, my God, we must have margaritas. And we had a margarita upstairs. We came downstairs, I jumped into the mat class.Brad Crowell 10:25  Oh, like you do?Lesley Logan 10:27  I was so sore the next day, but I think it actually helped me relax.Brad Crowell 10:32  Well, the question that you got there was, how is it possible that you do all the things that you do and still have a life? How do you balance your work and your life?Lesley Logan 10:41  So I love this question. Shout out to Ivana, she asked, actually, she asked Jay, a really awesome question similar to this. She asked him like, what do you do about the clients who just want you to like, work them out? You know? And so he was on us? And then she was just like a question. Like, I think people have these questions, and they don't ask it. So clearly, people think I have work life balance, and I'm gonna tell you right now, balance is a lie. And when I told so here's just, here's the thing, our yoga teacher, Brad, he told us that balance is the art of not falling over, right? Like in a handstand, or a headstand, the ability to hold that is you maneuver in between, like leaning too much one way and then you correct and then you might overcorrect and things like that. And so what what I try to get people to understand is like, stop striving for balance. Also, what balance is to you on a Monday is very different to what balance to use on Friday. Or if you have kids, maybe there's a different version of balance when they're in school versus when they're at home. And so, so I don't search for balance, I search for making sure my schedule fills my cup, every single day. So I can show up for what the task is at hand. And I tried to make sure it's really hard for us, because there's two of us. And so sometimes when you're working it's different than when I'm working. And sometimes you have a question about work. And I'm like, but I'm not working right now. The answer is this is first, we actually do have a free webinar about how I create a schedule, which also talks about my scheduling tool, but you can just you can enjoy that or just watch that. I think it's called I think it's is it ditchingbusy.com?Brad Crowell 12:25  Yeah, I was just looking that up almost positive. That's what it is. Yeah.Lesley Logan 12:28  So did you ditchingbusy.com. It's a free webinar. It's all my business stuff. But like, it explains how I created a schedule, (Brad: It is. ditchingbusy.com) So it's free, go enjoy. It's how I create a schedule. Yeah. It's also something I teach in Agency Mini, but what every morning has in it are the things that helped me fill my cup, so I can show up for the rest of the day. And I also know the signs that I'm out of balance. And I think that's very important. What are the symptoms that you like? Are you cranky? Do you snap at people? Are you exhausted at the end of the day? What are those signs, so that you can actually look at the next day and see if there's anything you can take off your plate. And ladies, I know you don't like to cancel your friends, like you want to be that person. But you can just say, I'm actually really overwhelmed right now. And there's nothing more I want to do is see you but you don't want to see me right now. Because I'm not going to be the best awesome person. That is way better than us showing up. What Why are you laughing?Brad Crowell 13:24  Just remembering that dinner? (Lesley: What dinner?) The one where we had someone tell us that they just weren't ready to be present in this exact moment. So I'm gonna excuse myself.Lesley Logan 13:37  Yeah, she already called an Uber by the way. I you know, it's part of me and like, it's like,Brad Crowell 13:42  I look preempted, don't show up. And then pleaseLesley Logan 13:45  Try to do it before you get there. Anyways, because like also, it just is so weird. But the reality is you have the more you get to know yourself. And the more you acknowledge like that, when you just say like, I am not imbalanced right now I am out of balance that can take a whole load off and then ask yourself, what are the what what happened to get you here? Are you maybe like when we have a launch going on? You think Agency Mini is balance? No, no. Here's what we do, though. So we can show up. We have our morning routines are on point, we have our food delivered. We do not miss our workouts, but we do not go out to dinner with people. We do notBrad Crowell 14:27  We try to we try to remove everything else that from the entire week if we if we possibly can.Lesley Logan 14:32  Yeah, if we possibly can. We're really clear like the beginning of the week, we can probably have a meeting or two but towards the end of the week. It's an absolute zero, no, nothing other than that. But the week before and the week after we are we're giving ourselves we'll also give ourselves an opportunity to get things ready so we can be so we're sleeping where we're making sure we have time to ourselves. In fact, we take days off. So the point of this is to sum it up too long to read watch the webinar and to stop trying to find balance. And just be honest with yourself. Are you in a season where you're building something up? (Brad: Yeah) If so, what are you going to do to rest and repair and refuel. And if you're in a season of like, hey, everything's flowing smooth, then enjoy that, and let your creativity juices fly, but stop going, oh my God, I've gotta like, every days with the perfect day, this is not the 1950s. And by the way, y'all they were not actually that happy. All the movies make it look, they're so happy. They were having Manhattan's every night, and like not telling each other was going on. SoBrad Crowell 15:32  I think I think the the idea of like, balance with work and life, ultimately, it comes down to the decision you make in and what's going to what, what's too much you'll know, because you're very unhappy, your fried or your you know, all those things. And realizing, you know, when you've crossed that threshold of holy cow, because like, you know, I mean, we are business owners, right? We, we work all day, work all day, every day. But we don't think about it that way. I'm not like if something breaks at 10pm. Guess what I have to fix it, have to, you know, so but, you know, I might take two to 3pm and take a walk, you know, so it's your choice of what you're doing and when you're doing it, and what you need to realize is that you're that's what that balance is is like, hey, you know what, I have a light afternoon, I think I'm gonna take advantage of it. Like last Friday, I went out to lunch with our neighbor. And I mean, I haven't seen him in like six months. So it's weird that we will live next to each other and we never get the chance to go out. But I didn't have any meetings booked, which is abnormal. And I was like, let's take advantage of this and actually take the afternoon. And we went and we just hung out. Right and so sometimes that happens and other times I have to work during the afternoon and that's okay. Brad Crowell 15:54  Yeah. And then just like a quick tip if you are someone who's an overscheduler you see an empty space in your calendar, you're like yes, I can fit that in. Then you to block in like actual like schedule actual rest breaks. You also cannotBrad Crowell 17:12  I had to put lunch directly into my schedule. I don't remember to do if I don't have lunch in my schedule. I forget to eat. Lesley Logan 17:18  I think we did that two years ago. And it was like one of the best things that ever happened for either one of us. Yes, No body books calls. Anyways, there's just different hacks you have to do and then also just because the people around you are hustling like crazy, doesn't mean that you're hustling something different. That reminds me what ended on this Kareen, Episode 53? She was at 53.Brad Crowell 17:39  I'm we're gonna find out.Lesley Logan 17:41  She said might have been 23 but I feel like it's 53 I feel like she wasn't as early as everyone else. My friends, but she saidBrad Crowell 17:51  You were definitely off the mark, 27. (Lesley: 27. 20 was my second guess.) She was early. Episode 27 Kareen Walsh.Lesley Logan 18:00  She said, "Don't let your hustle become a hassle." And I think when she said that, that's kind of like a like a thing. Like if I feel really big, I'm working really hard. If it starts to feel like a hassle, like, oh my God, then I go, okay, what's going on here? Yeah. When did I say yes to these things? I think ladies, we tried to do everything like that, that I, somebody just followed, posted something because like, I don't know which magazine but Paris Hilton was on the cover. And they're like, look, she's like, rock and being a mom and a full-time business owner and this she's got all the things figured out. And I was like, What the fuck? When are we going to stop telling ladies that that's possible? No fucking way Paris Hilton has it all figured out? No offense, Paris. You're awesome. But there's, you have nannies. You have housekeepers. You have chefs, you have cooks, you have someone organizing your sets. The way they wrote the title was a Paris Hilton is like doing it all. And she can because she has a team. So if you are solo, you cannot do it all. You can only do what is possible in the amount of time you have. And the more you take care of yourself, the more you can get things done, period. Okay, now.Brad Crowell 19:11  Let's move on.Lesley Logan 19:13  Send your questions into the pod. We love them.Brad Crowell 19:16  Yeah, ask those questions. Lesley Logan 19:17  We love them.Brad Crowell 19:18  Okay, now let's talk about Daniella Mestyanek Young, a former intelligence officer, renowned scholar on cults and the compelling voice behind the memoir, Uncultured. Her life journey from the confines of a religious sect cult to the frontlines of the US Army is a testament to resilience and the power of transformation. (Lesley: She's a badass.) She's badass. (Lesley: She's an intelligence officer in the military)Brad Crowell 19:43  In her like mid to late 20s. Lesley Logan 20:04  Yes, yeah. Yes. And that's, by the way, (Brad: who is in the field) who is in the field. She was one of the first women allowed in field. And also she ran a virtual Boston Marathon and she won for the military. (Brad: Really?) And like, yes, yes. (Brad: How do you do that?) And she met Obama, and she was one of the few officers like invited. Yeah. Oh, no, no way. Yeah, you gotta listen to the book. You got to do it. We like we have like, this is, by the way. This is badass. Like, like, you know, fucking amazing human being. I listened. I found her on a cult show I listened to and I DM-ed her and she was like, Yeah, sounds so fun. And she like, I was just like, oh my god, I'm getting Daniella on the show. So great. Anyways, um, she's just really honest. And also she had all of that without having a formal education guys. She didn't go to school until high school. So, yeah. (Brad: Oh, I didn't know that.) No, the Children of God don't teach them how to read anything. Yeah, anyways. Okay, you gotta read the book. Warning, it is difficult. They're like, if you there's a trigger on like, the sex abuse that is in there. But it's also so important that we actually know what these places are doing. Because you got to know the science guys, you gotta know the science. So go read the book. So okay, I love so many things. But she she gave advice on what a cult disguise could look like. And of course, she said nobody joins a cult. And that's true.Brad Crowell 21:34  Yeah, that I found. I found really interesting. You know that you don't realize that it is what it is.Lesley Logan 21:41  Well, everyone else say I would never join a cult. (Brad: Right.) Like, okay, (Brad: Well, me neither.) Well, me neither. Of course not. But like, in L.A. there's so many cults. Brad Crowell 21:51  There are so many cults.Lesley Logan 21:52  Oh my god. There's so many cults. Brad Crowell 21:54  Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's a Erawan cult.Lesley Logan 21:58  Shut up. I mean, maybe there's a small one that I don't know who's leading it. But I will say like, there were some books there was there. First of all, NXIVM was notorious for doing their workshops in L.A., there was landmark that everyone in their mother was like trying to get you to come to their graduation, which by the way, was a cult. Sorry, there. But don't sue me. But like there's so many in L.A., obviously, Scientology being the biggest one. (Brad: Right.) Every time we drove by that church, I just like oh, my god, can they see us? Do they have our license plate number? Drive fast. But anyway, she said no one joins a cult, they join a group that is doing something that is feeding their soul. And even there was like yoga classes that were so cultish.Brad Crowell 22:45  I just, I gotta hop in here. I just found a Yelp listing for the top 10 Best religious cults near Los Angeles, California.Lesley Logan 22:58  Oh, my God is (inaudible). Brad Crowell 23:00  No, I mean, but it's funny. They're like, it's it's a lot of churches.Lesley Logan 23:04  Yeah. So but the but people join a place that feeds their soul, they join things that are doing like this. They join things that are like making an impact on the world that aligns with your values. And so she actually said that people listening to this podcast are likely to be people who could end up joining a cult because you are seekers, seekers of information, right. So. So they give you these big missions. And of course, you're a part of it. Now, there are just groups. I like to think that we are just a group. But she said like there are some red flags that you should look into, especially in the recruiting thing. So, we'll kind of get into that in a second. But like, one of the things to like be aware of is they do things in a coercive place, and she called it bounded choice. So you think you have fear, you start you think you have freedom, but really, there's this coercive control. There's this like pressure, like you think you could, like, maybe not come on a Thursday, but then everyone's like, why aren't you here? For example, one of my clients went to this weekend event, and she decided she didn't like it on day two. So she decided to come to my class. And in my call during my class, her phone was texted four times, or four times in an hour going, where are you why didn't you come? Why don't you get on a call with us let's see if we can get you back? It's like, if she can't miss the third day, that she paid for. It is her choice to not be there. If you are like, dragging her back. And there's something weird going on.Brad Crowell 24:35  Yeah, I mean, I just wanted to rip rip down the top the 10 things that she does, like how she considers a cult, defines a call. So, number one, there's a charismatic leader. Number two, there's a single sacred assumption that all of the people assume. Number three, there's a transcendent mission. Number four, there's self-sacrifice required. Five limiting access to the outside world six, unique language meaning like, like we were joking about at the beginning of this episode about Agency Mini. And if you don't know what that means, then you're not in the cult, right? Like that's the unique language. Then the next is an us versus them mentality, then exploitation of the members, high exit cost. Maybe you lose your community, your friends, all that you're ostracized. And then lastly, it. It should eventually shifts into an ends justify the means mentality.Lesley Logan 25:33  Oh, yeah. So here's what's interesting. While I was in Poland, one of the people was talking to they had, they had stopped working with one of the groups, I won't name it in the Pilates world, because they had this like summit where they brought in all of their teachers. And they said, Well, these things are the things that you can teach. But if you want to teach these things, you have to be part of the inner circle, because we have to trust (Brad: There's a fucking inner circle?) She said, she's got a fucking said inner circle, and like, oh, do they not know how to build a cult, you're not supposed to actually say that. That's the quiet part. You don't say out loud.Brad Crowell 26:08  By joke, seriously, like,Lesley Logan 26:12  and someone else we coach was like, I want to do this thing. But like, it's not clear if I can do this thing. And there have been people who've done this thing, and they've been kicked out. And there's other people who didn't do this thing. And they didn't get kicked out nice. And the particular thing that she was doing Brad Crowell 26:23  The reality of kicked out, that's the that's one of the problems. I mean, that's a problem. Lesley Logan 26:27  And I said to her, I said, you're in a cult. Now, it might not feel like one but the fact that you can't provide this thing that is in no way a threat to them. And in fact, all it's doing is propelling the mission that should be theirs forward. That scares me for you. (Brad: Yeah.) And the fact that you're worried that you could be ex like excommunicated ex, is that the right word? (Brad: Yeah, basically) that makes me nervous.Lesley Logan 26:27  That's very religious, but yes, excommunicated.Lesley Logan 26:35  So some people say Pilates is a religion. But at any rate, like it shouldn't, if you have those fears, that can be your own family, by the way, like if there are things you can't say or do or be in your own family, because fear of like them, not speaking to you. That's a little bit culty.Brad Crowell 27:15  Yeah, I mean, we were just in England, and we were with one of our members who married someone from India. Oh, and she is from England. And she's not the same religion. (Lesley: Oh, she's Australian) oh sorry, she's Australian living in England, but she's not the same religion. And his family cut them out. (Lesley: Yeah) that's fucking cult. Lesley Logan 27:39  Yeah. So um, so you're probably wondering how can this be it till you see it, because you are a seeker. And I want to make sure you're armed with the right information so that as you're being until you see it, and as you're getting information out there, you don't end up accidentally in a group that is using you, using your amazingness. And we'll talk more about that in the next week's episode. Because that guest on narcissism is amazing. Anyways, I can keep going, but you should tell us what you loved.Brad Crowell 28:05  Yeah. So I thought this was interesting, in that she had a couple of examples of cult leaders that you would know that I don't remember their names. But she said, I know the mom. Yeah, I know, you know them all. If people are self-proclaiming that they're a guru. Be cautious. Be aware of this. Because they, you know, when someone puts themselves up on this high pedestal, and then tells you, you know, I am the authority, or I am the guru of the thing. Lesley Logan 28:42  I have all the answers here. I'm the one who knows, I'm the closest to right, you know, yeah.Brad Crowell 28:48  Yeah. You know, she said, actually, in fact, coaching can become this. Teachers can become this, you know, anybody that you put in a place of authority, it is, you know, it's she was talking about, like, you could be doing everything right. And then like, somehow it shifts and suddenly it like, becomes a cult and not like a group. Right? So the reality is that if they are out there telling you that they're the only authority that they're the only one or that they know what's right. And they can, they can, they're the only one that can help you like all major warning signs. Yeah, right that you've got somebody who, you know, is totally a narcissist, which we are going to talk about on our next episode, and they are effectively trying to manipulate you. Yeah. Whether they realize they're doing it or not, they're doing it. Right. Whether you realize they're doing it or not, hopefully you can identify that they're doing this. Lesley Logan 29:47  I think after we ended the podcast. So I'm gonna help like, you know, you do sales calls with people. And we're very clear with people like, this might not be the right group for you. And it's not because we don't want to help you. But if we're not the right person, like I've joked on the podcast before like, I'm not a taco not everyone's gonna like me. Sure, that's okay. Because like, there is someone out there who can lead you in all the different things that we do. If it's if I'm not the right one, or it's not the right time. And it's important that people know that. And I think like, I just think it's a little. I know that like, when you're lost, you just want answers. (Brad: Yeah.) But you have to also remember, like you have everything you need inside you. And really just surrounding yourself with people who want to support and guide versus be the hero (Brad: That's key. That's exactly right.) Someone who can guide you from this point to that point. And that doesn't mean once you get to that next point, that they're still your guide, you might pick up a different guide along the way.Brad Crowell 30:44  Yeah. And I think that's the that's like, the language that they're using, the way that they portray themselves the way that they perceive themselves, you might not be able to understand all that right away. But you're exactly right, like the person who wants to be there to support you and your growth, and be a guide along a path that they may have already taken. That's a win. But a person who is like, oh, I can show you how I'm the only person that has been where you are, I know how this works. You need to listen to me. That's a problem. You know, so she actually like what are the things I was talking about the 10 things and the 10 definitions, like how she defines a cult. And she said the second one, which I thought was really interesting, is a single sacred assumption. So all the people in the group have this single sacred assumption. And you can't you better not say the other way, because then everyone's gonna be like, What are you saying? Right, the single sacred assumption. So she was talking about NXIVM and Keith Raniere, and he told all of his NXIVM people, I am the smartest man alive. (Lesley: Oh, yeah.) And everyone fucking believed him. They just went along with it. So as a group, everyone was like, oh, yeah, Keith. Yeah, he's the smartest man alive. He's the smartest man alive. And it just was like, inherently, indoctrinating all these people with this weird decision that he's like, I'm the smartest man alive. So guess what, everything he says they're gonna fucking do. Because why would you defy the smartest man alive? (Lesley: He's so smart.) Right? So you know, that's like, you know, yeah, it's kind of crazy. It's just really fascinating to listen to this conversation. And then, you know, she talks about how, why she didn't become like a life coach, and instead decided to get degrees was because of her experience, being in cults, and seeing how it's very easy for, like life coaches, or coaches or teachers in general, to cross that boundary and become like cult leaders. Lesley Logan 32:55  I also think that like, it's, it's probably not intentional in the beginning.Brad Crowell 33:00  I don't think it starts off intentional, no. Lesley Logan 33:02  In the beginning, because like, I think like, first of all, especially if words of affirmation or your love language, like people are telling you, oh, my God, this helped me and we got this help me and you're like, Oh, my God, if you get this out to everybody, and then like, you keep going. And then at some point, you don't have anyone around you telling me telling you like, no, like, I'll have these ideas. And you guys are very quick to go. I love that idea. Not for now, or actually, like, let's we do that we do this. And not to say that I'm gonna become a cult leader, but I, but like, it's important to have people around you who will like challenge you on your ideas. It doesn't mean I won't fight for them. But it also keeps me from like, just continuing to go as if I'm the only person who knows what the fuck does the right thing to do. Yeah, and then bringing people along with me. And so I don't think people are born going to be a cult leader. But if they can't go that way, becauseBrad Crowell 33:56  Unless you watch the Umbrella Academy, but yes, no. (Lesley: Oh, really? I did not watch that.) You didn't. It's okay. The Umbrella Academy is a sci-fi show where this one of the characters inadvertently becomes a cult leader. And he's like, I love that I'm a cult leader. This is the most amazing thing. It's ridiculous. Lesley Logan 34:12  I watched how to become a cult leader. (Brad: Yeah.) Which is like just like a little satirical, because it's like, obviously it's it's really about like how these people became leaders. And I think it's, I really enjoyed it because in case anybody in your family is in one that can be extremely stressful and it can also take you off your path of like what you're doing on this planet. Because you're you can't snap them out of it like it like you telling them they're in a cult is just going to make them stay. So at any rate, like again, I really wanted to haveBrad Crowell 34:44  I think I think like liberating people from cults is a whole another conversation. Lesley Logan 34:50  Oh, that's a whole another (inaudible).Brad Crowell 34:54  If you're wondering if you're starting a cult right now, chances are unlikely that you are since you have that self-inflection.Lesley Logan 35:01  Go. Yeah, it's like the narcissist thing. Go and look at her top 10 things. Read her book which is so so good.Brad Crowell 35:08  Oh, which is called Uuncultured. Lesley Logan 35:09  Uncultured. Read her book because I also (Brad: Or listen to it.) I really loved how she shared she used the things that she saw in the people of her of the Children of God, when mistakes happen. And she saw it in the face of the men in the military when something happened. She's like, something's wrong here. Like she knew. (Brad: Yeah.) So like, I think that's really good information. And I again, I wanted to have this person on because I, as you listen to this, and you get inspired by people we've had on the podcast, or and you're working on taking the next step in your life. It's so easy for you to end up go going off your path of being it till you see it and being on someone else's path of a cult. So anyway.Brad Crowell 35:52  Yeah, well, let'sLesley Logan 35:57  Let's do the Be It Action. Brad Crowell 35:58  Yeah, hang out real quick. We'll be right back. Brad Crowell 35:59  All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Daniella Mestyanek Young?Lesley Logan 36:14  What are your favorites? Brad Crowell 36:45  Yeah, so her bold advice was? Imagine yourself like so. Okay, just to clarify she is, I can't remember what she studied, when she went to school. When she went to Harvard. And anyway, I can't remember exactly what the degree she got. But it was something to do with like, sociology and and the study of people. And she said, imagine yourself when you're 80 and ask, how do you start to backwards plan your life so that you can get to that place? And you know, this is like old school advice. I you know, I've heard about this when I was when I was younger, but it's something that you kind of forget about. Yeah. And I like bringing it back and be and like looking at it and saying, well, what does 80 look like for me? Do you want to be surrounded with like, 8000 grandchildren? Do you want to be on a sailboat sailing around the world? Do you want to be retired in Asia? Do you want to, I don't know, whatever. Like my parents' version of this would innocent me guessing. But my dad has always loved the ocean. And my mom loves it, too. And so they've always wanted to be at a house near the water. And they've been planning for it almost their whole life. Like literally, it took them like 20, almost almost 20 years to get a house near the water. They got a house 20 years ago, that was two miles from the water. And 15 years later, or 16 years later, they finally were like, this isn't close enough. And they were the whole time they were there. They are shopping for the right house. Right? So they were thinking about these things decades ago. Right? And so what do they need to do in order to retire near the ocean? They need, clearly a place to live. So they worked backwards from this ultimate dream that they have this vision that they had of themselves when they were retired. And like it continues, right? Like my mom got this. This, she had this idea where they got this house that about three or four years ago now. And it was not in great shape. But my parents love projects like this.  Lesley Logan 38:58  They do. And your sister picked up another project, she got, it's in the blood.Brad Crowell 39:02  Oh, geez. Yeah. Well, my mom's mom is now in her middle 80s. And, you know, there may come a point where she needs like in home care. And so my mom thought, well, what if we took this house that we want to retire in? And we created, like a first floor plan, where we could have like a guest house on the same level as the primary plan before so that, you know, if you're 89, you're not going up and downstairs basically. Right. And so they've been already thinking ahead, planning, maybe we could support you know, grandma, and then someday, that might support them in that same house, right? Yeah. So they're just you know, thinking ahead, working backwards from this ultimate vision that you have for yourself and this takes inflection, time to sit down and actually think through it. Lesley Logan 39:54  Do you want us to go about this also bold advice? (Brad: Tell me.) The way fitness works is like, if you want to be able to pick up your grandkids at 80, you have to be training your body for that now.Brad Crowell 40:07  Yeah. Yeah, like the age of eight. So yeah, you might have already missed the boat. Lesley Logan 40:12  You did. No, I'm kidding. But like, but like, seriously, because Brad Crowell 40:17  I think I started around 32. Lesley Logan 40:18  Yeah. So if you had, like, if you picture yourself in your old age, like, if you do want to go up the stairs, if you want to, like have your beautiful house, like beautiful master bedroom suite with a balcony, whatever, then you have to be able to go up the stairs at 40 without even thinking about it. Yeah, maybe 50 flights of stairs. So that like as we age, like things like decline. But it's really incredible. Because I have seen people in this, you know, age is really just a number because like, I've seen people at 80 who can do things that like, you're like, whoa, that's phenomenal. Like there's a 63 old woman who was like doing this like, crazy deadlift that like Brad Crowell 40:58  200 pounds, 230 pounds? I saw it.Lesley Logan 41:00  There was another woman who was dead lifting as much as you and my dad was, and I was like, okay, I need to step it up if I want to be because I'm 40 she's 23. So like, 23 years older than me. I better get going if I wasn't able to do that at 63. Anyways, I love that advice. Okay, Brad Crowell 41:15  Yeah, well, so if you're stuck and trying to figure out what life could look like for you at 80 Daniella's advice was, go through all your senses. Okay. Focus on your senses. What are you seeing? What are you hearing? What are you smelling? Tasting? Feeling? What is what is that? What is happening around you? And then how can you plan your life backwards from there? She said, that we only have one life to live. We all know this. But she asked, What do you want out of it? And, you know, I don't know. I think it's funny. Like, we have these ambitions and these goals and these things, but like, do we actually sit down and say what do I want out of life? You know, so do that. Do that. Okay. All right. What about you? Lesley Logan 42:08  Well, after that, I don't know. I actually really loved this, she said, in relation to like bold advice or getting advice from others. She said, listen to all of it. And I was like, okay, like when she said that, I'm not gonna lie. Instead, I was like, should you go like, (Brad: Should you what?) listen to all the advice, listen to all the advice, getting advice, like, you know, getting advice from others, she said, listened to all of it. And I was like, Ooh, I disagree on this. But then she said, however, yeah, if it's negative advice, only listen to the people who've done what you're trying to do. Brad Crowell 42:46  Which is like, drop that fucking microphone that is humongous. Like it's such a, that was such a lightbulb moment for me when she said that I was like, Oh, my God. How come? I've never thought about that before?Lesley Logan 42:56  Right? Like, you know, we, we talk like, we have people who want to do on demand memberships. And since we do them, yeah, I say hello. I think it's a great idea. I can absolutely reach those needs. Here are some things you need to keep in mind. And it's not to deter, but it's to actually like, if I could do it all over again, knowing those things, what would I have done differently? And because no one's gonna get it right the first time. You can learn from that. Yeah. And so anyways, I thought that was really, really, really great and Brad Crowell 43:27  Well, I think so. So here's a good example.Lesley Logan 43:30  Well, she had a great example of her own life. (Brad: Oh, go ahead.) Is it okay if I share it? (Brad: Do it.) So she wanted to write a book. And she wanted to write it, like at the book Educated inspired her and she's like, oh, I want to write that. And there's all these naysayers (inaudible)Brad Crowell 43:44  It's an epic book about cults, PS. Educated.Lesley Logan 43:47  It's less about cults and more, it's, it's more about (inaudible)Brad Crowell 43:51  It's the story of a woman's experience where she grew up in what didn't know was a cult. Lesley Logan 43:58  It's a cult of her family. Yeah. Was a family cult. So you know, but, and she is about like, people who are living in rural areas who are not educated. You know? So anyway, she wanted to write that book. And people were like, you can't do that. There's, that's not going to work.Brad Crowell 44:15  Well, no, they said that there's no way you can be Educated, Educated was such a box office hit as far as books go, you know, don't even bother trying.Lesley Logan 44:26  Yeah. And but four years later, she actually did it. And, and it was along the lines of Educated. Yeah, and The Glass Castle. And what's really funny is Roy Vaden, who was on a couple weeks ago, he actually has a really big thing that like you when you're pitching an idea, you actually should pitch it in the vein of comparing to something like say, it's the educated book, but for cults, or like, it's this for about like the American Idol version of this and it's because people can't envision something that's brand new if it's ever happened, they need to hear it how it's like something else. So but If she listened to the people who'd written books, who were like what their advice was so that she could still do what she wanted to do and not like the people around her went, oh my god, you'll never be the number one best selling book on this topic. Right? You know, which was like, Well, how do they know but like, especially when it's your idea and it's baby and this goes back to Nikole Mitchell's episode, like you have to like, be mindful of who you're telling information to, you know? Lesley Logan 45:44  Daniella, you're phenomenal. Congratulations. You are just getting started really on this incredible journey and the impact you're going to make on this planet not as a cult leader, but as a guide on like, how to make sure that we show up as boldly as we can and have the effects we want to have on this planet but without getting involved with a cult. I'm Lesley Logan,Brad Crowell 46:06  I'm Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 46:07  Thank you so much for listening. Make sure you listen to our interview recaps our FYF's and how are you going to use this in your life? Who are you going to send it to? We want to know so tag Daniella, tag the Be It Pod and oh by the way if you don't watch the pod on YouTube, this one is got multiple things going on because shout out to Daniella who can knit without even looking down. (Brad: Oh yeah.) and talk the whole time. Brad Crowell 46:34  Yeah. And look true supporters of the pod watch the YouTube channel. Okay? (Lesley: Just saying.) That is self-sacrifice. (Lesley: Brad!) Just watch the YouTube, though and if you don't watch the YouTube channel then you're out.Lesley Logan 46:45  There's a JK in all of that, you guys. Have a great day and Be It Till You See It.Brad Crowell 46:45  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 46:45  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. Brad Crowell 46:45  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 46:45  It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo. Brad Crowell 46:45  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 46:45  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell 46:45  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

A former cult member, Daniella delves deep into group dynamics, drawing from her past experiences. She highlights the red flags of cult behaviors and contrasts them with the hallmarks of genuine communities. Tune in for a compelling exploration of the fine line between coercion and authentic communities.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Daniella's personal transition from cult life to clarity.The characteristics that define high control groups.Techniques to identify underlying cult behaviors.When and why to question self-proclaimed gurus.Episode References/Links:Follow Daniella Mestyanek Young on IGDaniella Mestyanek Young's Unculture Yourself WebsiteDaniella Mestyanek Young on TiktokDaniella Mestyanek Young's Book Uncultured: A MemoirEducated: A Memoir by Tara WestoverCulting of America by Ron RhodesScarred by Sarah EdmondsonGuest Bio:Daniella Mestyanek Young is the author of UNCULTURED and a scholar of cults and extreme groups, and extremely bad leadership. Daniella was raised in the religious sex cult, The Children of God. She later served as an intelligence officer for the US Army, making the rank of Captain, and became one of the first women in US Army history to conduct deliberate ground combat operations when she volunteered to serve on a Female Engagement Team, and received the Presidential Volunteer Service Award. Daniella lives with her husband and daughter in Maryland, and holds a master's degree in industrial and organizational psychology from the Harvard Extension School. Daniella is an organizational development speaker with the Macmillan Speaker's Bureau, and you can see her TEDx talk here. In the vein of Educated and The Glass Castle, Daniella Mestyanek Young's Uncultured is more than a memoir about an exceptional upbringing, but about a woman who, no matter the lack of tools given to her, is determined to overcome. Uncultured is "a propulsive memoir delivered in the honest tones of a woman who didn't always think she'd live to tell her story,” (NYT) it's a book which explores the dangers unleashed when harmful group mentality goes unrecognized, demonstrates the “dangers of blindly following leaders of any stripe” (Kirkus Review) and is emblematic of the many ways women have to contort themselves to survive.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship Join us at Agency Mini - Sept. 10-16, 2023Join us at our Cambodia Retreat - Oct. 8-13, 2023FREE Ditching Busy WebinarAmy Ledin - Episode 5: "How to take fast action against limiting beliefs" ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Daniella Mestyanek Young 0:00  Because, you know, I was sort of in your world of, you know, entrepreneurship, and how am I going to do this? And what am I going to do? Am I a speaker on my own author? Am I a teacher, and somebody told me, you know, I don't know if there's a market for your stories, because I don't know if nice girls from Milwaukee who've never had anything bad happened to them can relate. And I just immediately went to I was like, first of all, I don't think there is such a thing. As a girl who's never had anything bad happened to her. I think all women can think back to being six years old and being afraid and wishing they had a fairy godmother to give them a different life.Lesley Logan 3:25  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 5:08  Hi, Be It babes. Okay, so I'm super excited because I heard today's guest on a podcast a little bit culty. I'm constantly intrigued, and always making sure that I'm not in a cult or creating one. And when I heard this amazing woman you're about to meet today, and her journey and her story. I was like, oh my god, like, what a Be It person like, be it till you see it all the way through? I can't imagine going through any one of the things that she went through, let alone what all of that and then what she's doing today. So today's guest is Daniella Mestyanek Young. Thank you so much for being here. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you're up to these days? Daniella Mestyanek Young 7:28  Absolutely. So I'm Daniella I call myself a scholar of cults, extreme groups and extremely bad leadership. And I wrote a book called Uncultured, which is my memoir. So it's a story of my life. Being born and raised two generations into the Children of God religious cults, I was my mom was born and raised in, and then what it took to leave that kind of put my life together in America outside the cults. And then, because I'm such a high demand, high control person, I end up in the US Army, and kind of breaking barriers, making a lot of history for women, but also realizing a lot of the parallels between the world I'm in and my womanhood and the sex cult that I grew up in, in my childhood. So it is a book ultimately about group behavior that is telling the reader you know what, the New York Times called a propulsive story, but it's also kind of begging you to look at the parallels in your own lives. I say like all my readers to ask themselves the question what cults am I in?Lesley Logan 8:34  Yeah, I think that the listener right now probably has a lot of questions. So first of all, you have to read her book, you can listen to her say on on Audible. It's, it's just phenomenally written. I heard when you were on a little bit culter. You mentioned the book Educated. And that is a book my husband and I loved, the way that she tells her story. And so I have to say like, you're you tell a story in a way that you do take us along for the ride and it is interesting how you can find out first of all, I found myself seeing the repetitiveness from what the cult you grew up in to the military, but then also, when you can do that, then you can also see it in your own life, which is your goal and that's I think the more we can do it, the easier it is for us to understand like how do we get ourselves here like you You were born into the cult that your family is but like, what were the steps that got me here? This cult that I may be in.Daniella Mestyanek Young 9:31  Can I tell you first just like quick story about Educated from the perspective of Be It Till You See It? I you know, listen to Educated in 2018 and my first thought was literally, why didn't I write that book first. And then I was like, No, that's the model right? Like that's the like she did a book and I can go write my book in the tradition of Educated and because Educated with such a massive book, pretty much everyone in the industry was like, You cannot compare your book to Educated. And I was like, I'm sorry. I know you mostly say that. But this is a true comparison. And now I have, you know, four years later, I published a book called Uncultured that on the cover says, in the vein of Educated and Glass Castle. Yeah, which were the two Jacks in the field, right. So I like this story just to tell people like, don't let people tell you, you can't also be something big, just like, go ahead and be it. Lesley Logan 10:34  Ah, oh, my God. And we can just drop the mic there. I mean, I, first of all, I'd love you to share that, because one of my coaches that I've worked with, he is very much like, you should absolutely compare your thing to something that's big, because people need to know what camp you go in. So like, this is like the American Idol for I'm gonna say knitting because Daniel is knitting. If you're watching us on YouTube, I'm so impressed right now. So like, if people know if they can take your unique idea, because it's your unique story, and you can put it in the camp of something that they know is successful, then his theory it actually works really well. So I think it's so funny that people you can't do it. It's like, actually, you just fucking did it.Daniella Mestyanek Young 11:16  Oh, and I, you know, I want to tell you another story here. Because, you know, I was sort of in your world of, you know, entrepreneurship, and how am I going to do this? And what am I going to do? Am I a speaker or my own author? Am I a teacher, and somebody told me, you know, I don't know if there's a market for your stories, because I don't know if nice girls from Milwaukee who've never had anything bad happened to them can relate. And I just immediately went to I was like, first of all, I don't think there is such a thing. As a girl who's never had anything bad happened to her. I think all women can think back to being six years old and being afraid and wishing they had a fairy godmother to give them a different life. And that's why Disney is a billion-dollar industry. And I use that a bit in my sales pitch, right? Which was like, Yes, I'm telling you this, like far out fantastic story. But I'm also telling you in a way, that's like every woman's story, because you're seeing it through the eyes of this, this girl experiencing the extremes, you're going to be seeing probably less extreme, but also toxic versions of that in your own life. Wow. Like, I really hope for. Lesley Logan 12:33  I agree. And I think like also, yes, every woman everywhere, does need to maybe yours is the extreme. Maybe there's other extreme, more extreme ones out there. I just gotta hope not. But like, the reality is, is that like, we can't pretend that somewhere some girls are very safe. And they're very fine, because they are eventually going to be out on a trip, they're going to be somewhere. And also, I agree, I don't know that there's that there's any person who hasn't experienced something where they didn't actually have the words for it. Like, even when you were a child, you didn't have the words for what's going on with you, you just had this inherent knowledge, like, this is probably not a good thing. And I don't actually want to live this life. Daniella Mestyanek Young 13:12  So, and that's a big thing I've learned through writing my story. And I feel like with the proliferation of, you know, shiny, happy people being Amazon's largest number one original right now, people look at my story as extreme. But the cult I was born and raised in was just kind of the ultimate conclusion of the Duggars, right, of so many of these families and groups in America. And this is why the next project I'm working on is a book called the Culting of America. But one of the things that I've learned from my readers, and my discussions with them is that, you know, for example, I have so much in common with some of woman who grew up Mormon, you know, or like that it doesn't have to be a cult to have been a high control, high demand group environment that you were born and raised in that then influence your personality in all of these ways. You know, and going back to what you were saying earlier of like, when you're born into it, but you still have to kind of go back through and be like, why was I in this room? This is the thing I found is that after our culture or high-demand religions, or groups, we have to ask ourselves, you know, why was I in that group? And then what impacts did it have on me? And so for me, asking, you know, on the one hand asking why I was in the military, that tells me a lot about where I was personally at the time, but why I was in a cult is because my grandfather joined a cult. So for me, understanding why I grew up in a cult was kind of like going back and understanding systems and understanding group behavior. It's what led me to graduate school and setting Organizational Psychology around the same time I was writing Uncultured because really that's because I was trying toLesley Logan 15:14  Thanks for the timeline of like, when did you? So? When did so actually I would have I want to just get the listener up to date because they haven't read your book. You. You left the military when and then you started writing your book and going to college like, what what timeframe are we in because I'm looking at you and I'm like, I think I'm older than you. I don't know how you live five lifetimes before in these many years, times I am still a Daniella. Daniella Mestyanek Young 15:40  That's funny. I put together a PowerPoint of photos for the book team helping me publish the book. And that's exactly what they said, there are so many lives. I just turned 36 last month. So the timeline went, I got out of the army when I was 25. Sorry, not 25, 28. I got out of the Army in 2015. And I was pregnant with my daughter and I went to work for corporate America for a few years. And then was like, this is not for me, number of reasons. Got myself at first, just into entrepreneurship. I was like, I'm gonna start a team building company. And then I was like, oh, the problem with team building is people just think it's take a fun activity for add alcohol, and call it a team. And so I really started right around the same time, I was deciding, I was not going to go back to a nine to five job, I started kind of self-study, I was like, I'm gonna make myself an expert in leadership and culture. And I started with this idea of like, you can't spell culture without cult to you know, this comes from the same place, there are so many parallels in my life, you know, and, and all of these things are, are worked into the book. And then I was actually eyeing this program, this Harvard program for a master's in Organizational Psychology, but I couldn't make it across the country to Harvard. And then because of COVID, everything got turned virtual. So I jumped on that opportunity in mid-COVID. To go get a, an online degree at the same time everybody else was. So, use my veteran money to go back and do that. And here's what worked out so cool with the timeline. So, you know, the book came out in September, I graduated. So in March, 20 years to the day of when I walked away from the cult with zero education, right, zero days in school, 20 years to the month, I was conferred the master's degree from Harvard, and then graduation was on my birthday, 20 years later, Tom Hanks was the speaker. It was just, I got to like to dress up in all my Harvard Crimson. You know, Harvard's my favorite cult, and then go to Harvard bookstore, and autograph my book they're like, on my birthday in my regalia. So it's actually kind of cool talking about this on this podcast, right? Because it really was this five-year journey for me of seven-year really, after the army, I don't know what I'm going to be. And then I think I know what I'm going to be, but I don't really know. But just still like following a path. And all of a sudden, everything just came together five years later. And now when I dropped my credentials, people are like, oh, wow. Like, yeah.Lesley Logan 18:42  I'm sure that's part of the cult of America that our credentials are what gets us into places and not like experience. But so, okay. (Daniella: Agree. Agree.)Lesley Logan 18:54  Great. Thank you for that timeline. Because I just think that is really cool. So because we're like, it's so easy to like, read a book or read someone's bio, and go, okay, she left the cult, got in the army, now she's a Harvard grad. She wrote, it's like, she wrote a book. It's like, it's actually for you as a 20-year journey from almost like book in, to book in and we're like on a new series of books in your life, I feel like. So, I do want to like get a little definition for those people listening who may not be aware may not be like, like me watching anything that has to do with a cult to just make sure that I don't when I'm like, shiny happy people watch that. The bow all the things, high controlled groups. Can you like give us a definition of like, what those things are? You said high controll and high. what was that?Daniella Mestyanek Young 19:42  Yeah, high control, high demand group. (Lesley: Yes.) Um, so I have a, okay, I have a very specific definition of a cult. It's maybe a little bit hard to follow because it's 10 parts, which is why like, I like to have it in writing. If any of you have scenarios like TikTok, you can always find this 10-part list above my head and my videos. But I say our cult is a group that has, you know, a defined charismatic leader, although that might be changing because of (inaudible) whose members all believe in this single sacred assumption. So I say, you know, for the Children of God, the sacred assumption was that David Berg was a prophet of God or for NXIVM that Keith Raniere was the world's smartest man. And as long as you're under that sacred assumption, you can justify anything, but the sacred assumption fuels this transcendent mission, right, you have this huge mission that is so big, and so right, you're going to go save the world in some way. And it's going to require the self-sacrifice of the individual that's a really important part of cults and high-demand groups are constantly asking the individual to sacrifice for the good of the group. This is why nonprofits can become cold, like very quickly. And then this group now at this stage of the journey, right, it starts to limit its members' access to the outside world, it starts to have a distinguishable vernacular language that only holds meanings. And there's quite a few ways cults weaponized language as well. And then it programs its members to hold an "us versus them" mentality. Now you're at this pretty serious stage where it starts to exploit its members labor, have very high exit cost, and bring you into an ends justifies the means mentality. And with all of those things, I say like, congratulations, if you've hit 10 out of 10, Euro calls, even if nobody has diagnosed you as one. However, we can all probably look through that list, right and see that our groups are hitting a few, a few of these. And, you know, one of my arguments is that in a military unit, when you're back home, you're fine, you're only five out of 10, or six out of 10. But as soon as you deploy or go away to training together, and you add this isolation, this us versus them mentality, these different things, you are going to have a cultic experience. And we can't always just be like, Ah, it's a call and leave the group. So I like this sort of formula here, because it tells us where to look for the toxic behavior. Yeah. For me, this is very similar to my job in the military in the army, which was I was an intelligence officer. So I was the expert on the bad guy, I was the expert on how every plan was going to go wrong. And but when I was in school, setting group behavior, people only wanted to talk about happy positive stuff and good groups and good leaders and values. And I'm like, but but here's all the dangers, you know, and we're seeing these companies like we were or LulaRoe, you know, just turned completely into cults. And nobody's really seeing what's going on. So I like to use that framework. And I tell people, you know, if it quacks like a cult, you know, where to start looking for the the harmful stuff.Lesley Logan 23:17  I do, I appreciate you going into that framework and talking about that, because I do analysis that you brought up like we work and LuLaRoe those are like jobs that people bought into, like LuLaRoe, you paid into you really paid into joining that cult. But the women who started that that's what they that's what they thought they were joining to, they thought they were joining into creating a business for themselves that could make money and we work they thought they were like redesigning the way the workforce was and so it doesn't have to be religious.Daniella Mestyanek Young 23:47  And you know, there's two things here like nobody ever joins a cult, right they join a group that is doing something that is like feeding their soul. But also you know, the listeners of Be It Till You See It are all going to be very susceptible to join in cults because that is what cults do is they give you these big missions. Remember we talked about. So any person who is seeking to like change their life or do things differently or has recognized that the systems and the way that the world is they don't like it. Those are the people that are susceptible to join cults. And then we also don't usually talk about when we do talk about Carlson society, we talk about why and how people join them and don't see all of the red flags we don't talk about is how much effort goes into recruiting people into disguising the red flags into walking you slowly into the cults until that coercive control is complete. And then you really are under you know, what's what scholars like to call bounded choice, where you think you have free choice, you think you're free to leave anytime But you actually are under the coercive control of a group. Lesley Logan 25:03  Yeah, I so I love that you brought that up because I I do agree like I think anybody who's like seeking information to change their life and has this like, and I actually don't think it's a bad thing to want something more in your life, I don't think that's what you're saying either. But to be aware that like, because you are in such search of something bigger or something more than what you're doing, you are susceptible. So can we talk a little bit about like, what the disguise can look like. So that if the if something quacks a little bit like that, that's a cult.Daniella Mestyanek Young 25:40  Yeah, yeah. So, you know, I'll start with one that that I heard you throw out earlier, which was, well, we can't be a cult because people are free to leave anytime, right? This is the number one thing that you've got from any group. And I've even people will literally say this to me with a straight face about the military. And I'm like, you think you're free to leave the military? Anytime? Please explain that to me. Lesley Logan 26:05  I don't think so. I've not been in it but my family (inaudible). Daniella Mestyanek Young 26:08  Right. So, I think there's some, there's a really important thing about that phrase, they're free to leave any time, which is under coercive control. Not only is that phrase not true, that phrase is actually there to reinforce the dichotomy of there are two ways, my way or you're gone. Right? So there's no room for you to criticize anything here. And I, you know, of course, we saw this in the cults, but I saw this in the army all the time. And they say, you know, you signed up to be here, it's a volunteer army. And I'm going, I'm just saying I don't think all the soldiers need to be here at 3am for a movement that doesn't start until noon. I'm not saying I don't like my job, right, but they give you this all or nothing dichotomy, um, and then but in cults, when I say, you know, they say you're free to leave anytime and saying that is actually part of disguising the fact that you aren't free to leave because cults and coercive groups they know, they need to keep you you know, for isolated, busy, skinny, pregnant and tired. And if they do all of those things, you actually will not be free to leave, right? And you will have so many things keeping you in place. And so that, for example, is one of the ways of disguising, right? Like yeah, constantly reminding you, you're free to leave constantly talking about how we're not a cult and what the answer that we give to people is. Cults use these things called thought-stopping cliches, which is you know, it's the first day of the rest of your life comes from a cult leader named sin Anon, you know, they'll say trust the Prophet, they'll say, keep sweet. Boy, boys will be boys is a good one, you know, or you knew what you signed up for and it's intended to just shut down political complaints. And there's a book that shows very well the way that the cults disguise all the red flags. It's called Scarred by Sarah Edmondson who was from NXIVM, I'm actually reading it out loud on Tiktok while I'm knitting, so people can come there for snippet. But what she shows really well is that she's not blindly joining a cult, she is having questions all along the way. But every time you have a question, there's an answer. You know, and they have like, preempted this. And one of the ways I think we can see this with cult leaders is, you know, big, complicated societal questions have big complicated answers or don't have answers. So anyone promising to solve a big complicated problem for you with a very simple solution? Is a comment, right? Like, is someone who is trying to coerce you?Lesley Logan 29:06  Oh, I love this. So many tools for us all to use. And I remember, I was in college, I think I was just finishing college. I was prime for this to happen. Somebody invited me to a landmark meeting. And I went, I didn't know what it was. And I like went. And of course, like they do a really good job, like, asking these great questions to get you to give information. And of course, like, I was having problems with a family member at the time. They're like, Well, how long have you kept this problem around? It's obviously serving you something good to keep this problem around. And I remember thinking, like, I can't get rid of this family member. I'm a 19-year-old person who's trying to pay college loans. What are you talking about? So I left and I never like I didn't sign up. Also, it was too expensive. And I was like, You kid. Are you kidding? You missed my student loans or that I'm paying myself. Thank you. So I, but I remember this moment because I remember like, how close had I had the money, would I have joined it, maybe because they seem to have the answers. They seem to what they're doing so fast when I'm teaching Pilates class and one of my clients is like, I'm gonna miss class this weekend, I'm going to this thing and I said, Okay, great. Have fun, you know. So she shows up for class on one of the days I said, and I said, Oh, I thought you're gonna be here. She was like, I think it's a really weird place. And so I'm just gonna be here. You guys, her phone did not stop ringing. They kept calling her to get her to come back. Because it was the last day all these things and I said, I'm just like, I'm just going to be honest. I think it's really weird. I've never called the client multipleDaniella Mestyanek Young 30:38  screen. Why haven't you come back to class?Lesley Logan 30:41  Like, that's weird?Daniella Mestyanek Young 30:49  Yeah, and Citrix our channel is is me just like helping people, like pull out and understand these little things, right? So even for example, you know, when we first started talking, and you said, you're a Pilates instructor, and I said, Oh, is it a cult? And you laughed, right? That's a very healthy response. Because I say like, if you wanted to fight me all of a sudden, or if you had all these justifications about why you weren't a cult, that's when I get very suspicious. The moment in my book, after I've left the cult word, I realized it was a cult, right, we spent hours drilling responses to why we aren't a cult, right? Like, who does that? And so I even think it's one of those things, you know, it's one of my 10 commandments for good groups that aren't cults is like, can you can you joke about your organization, which is also to say, can you critically look at your organization, right? Because your response was, you laughed, then you said, well, it can be a cult, and then you immediately started critically looking. Right. So that is, I would say, a healthy response to for a leader of an organization in an organization that might have some things that are culty. And some areas, you know, I'm sure he could come into your Pilates studio, and point out some things about group behavior that you may be unaware of that could turn toxic. But that doesn't mean like you're a cult. But real cults, of course, do not want to fix themselves, they do not want to, you know, dig into areas of behavior that could turn toxic. And so if you ask someone a question, like, Oh, could it be a cult, and their reaction is really negative, even though cult's a negative word? Like, I usually see that as one of those interesting signs.Lesley Logan 32:43  That's so interesting. That's so funny. One of the things that I did last year, I started a mentorship and I had, there's like, 15 girls, and I had said, I don't know if I'm gonna do it again, probably do it one time, let's just see how it goes and see if I like the how much time it takes and the and the journey of it all. And at the end, I said, Yeah, ladies, you guys were so much fun. I'm gonna do it again. And they're like, can we all apply again? Because then it's just us? And I said, No, we're actually you're gonna get lots of people in. And we're not going to isolate ourselves. In fact, all this has to get out there because I would love to change industry, but I can't change it myself. I want, I want you all to be the people who change it. So we're gonna write they're not become a weird group who isolates themselves. Daniella Mestyanek Young 33:26  And this is I think, this is so important in the kind of life coach industry, you know, and one of the reasons I went more traditional book route instead of and more degrees instead of life coach route was, I personally was like, this feels a little culty. Like, we're trying to become gurus and just, you know, which is actually what charisma is, is you have authority based on your own qualities that are somehow above other people's, you know, and so I I think that's one of another one of the signs though, right? It's like, I wrote a whole memoir, I we came on here to talk about my book, how little have we talked about me, and how much have we talked about the ideas right? With you with that group, right? They were trying to almost make you this guru. And you're like, No, let's not do that. Like let me just be help her along the way. And I think that's an interesting, important distinction. And one of my favorite cult scholars, Dr. Janya Lalich, she just says point blank, she's like, there are no gurus. Like do what you need to do for your religion for your spirituality. But just like there are no gurus, it's always a danger sign. And you should always be questioning. And this was, you know, something that was said about Keith Raniere of NXIVM, which was very, very extreme. And it was all based on his claim, completely unsubstantiated that he was the smartest man alive and the thing that was said that was so insightful was any time a leader asks for your extra confidence in them, or promises you extra results, you should actually be asking extra questions or looking for extraordinary proof. Right? Because this is the thing that happens again and again, as people get lost in the charisma lost in the thought leadership lost in the guru-ness, and then they don't question. And it doesn't always mean it's gonna turn toxic, but it often does.Lesley Logan 35:34  Yeah, yeah, I thank you for saying that. I want to say to my ladies in that group, I don't think you are trying to make us a cult. But I think you really enjoy the time. But I just wanted to use it as an example. Because I do think a lot of people listening create groups, and how easy we like, well, actually, yeah, let's just make this the group that always goes and does this together. And then what you're saying it doesn't, it can't, it's just it can lead that way. So you know, and I think that's important because especially people listening who do want to, to have a community of some kind, you know, knowing that you're creating a community that it's like, are you putting yourself at the top or like, is the community a whole that like, there's the community of the whole, that's the top and everyone's kind of part of it, you know. So that's why I really loved what you how you bring things up. Because it can be easy for the person's like, well, I created this group, so I have to lead this group, and I have to do these things. And then all of a sudden, you put this pressure on yourself to be somebody, that that's not why you might have created the group in the first place, or the community because everybody does want to belong to a group. And I think that that's also the hard part of and I'm sure you're talking about that in your next book. It's like, people want to belong, people want to feel seen. So how do we create places? Where can people belong and feel seen without creating a toxic environment?Daniella Mestyanek Young 36:47  Yeah, I mean, the drive for community is huge, you know, and when you were talking about with your group, how, like not doing repetitive things can be helpful. You know, I never thought about it this way. But I was like, but that's a huge thing in military intelligence is you don't set patterns because patterns are dangerous. Right? And so I think just that right, there is an interesting thing to look at. But how do we, how do we create positive groups? Right, and this is one of everyone's big questions. Um, I'm actually ending my next book with a chapter it was going to be called good cults or groups, everyone asked about, but now we're calling it Just Groups, though just groups, but also just groups, which is kind of, if you understand this idea of, it's not a binary it's a spectrum, right? So I like to say like, a group is not a cult, or not a cult, or toxic or not toxic, right? It's not that simple, complicated issues have complicated answers. And so I, you know, want people to look at the spectrum of there's 10 parts of a cult, you can have any or none or all of them. And then how do those influence you, but part of starting to look at groups as neither good nor bad, but a spectrum that I think really changes the answer of how we look at good groups, which is something I kind of say that in the end of Uncultured, which is the need to understand that our groups are just groups. And, you know, there's this phrase out of individual psychology, which says, human beings are 99%, the same, but it's that 1% of difference that causes all the world's problems. And I feel like the DNA of groups very similar, right, like groups are 99% similar, and I've been in and studied a lot of them. But no matter. You know, the flip side of that is no matter how amazing you think your group is, and how hard you're trying to build a good group, you're also kind of only 1% away from the being the sex cult that traffics children. Right. And I think this is the most important thing we can do to build good groups is be on guard is talk about the negatives is never assume that our group is good. You know, one of my 10 commandments for good groups that are not called is thou shalt never champion last name. And it's just this like us versus them mentality. But as humans, we have this propensity to believe that our group is the best because it is ours. Our family is the best because it is ours our way of life is the best our religion and on and on. And so anytime you are 100% sure of your position, you have blind spots, and then these coercive groups again that are out there that are recruiting that have agendas that are Trying to build these armies to create power, you know, they have much more of a chance of getting you than if you're really much better at kind of living in the gray. And being like, you know, I have a great group I try really hard. But I want to look out for these things, you know, like, like, in your example, right? Another leader might be like this, these are really good girls, no women, nobody's trying to turn this into a cult, like, we're fine. I can be the leader. Whereas you are like, No, I'm always worried about whether I'm joining a cult or building a cult. So I'm going to be careful here, right? (Lesley: Yeah.) And this is something we see out of military intelligence as well that you almost don't have to prepare for the exact scenario that you're going to encounter. Because you almost never know what that is. But any level of preparation for like, a bad guy attack right for toxins coming in from the outside is going to make you more prepared for when it does go wrong. You know, and I think one of the biggest ways that people fall for these toxic groups or toxic gurus is just getting so isolated or so into it or so inundated with it, you know, you go to CrossFit every day, if your CrossFit box starts going wrong, how are you going to be able to tell? Right, if you don't have enough exposure to enough other groups? Right, be able to see when they're going wrong. See when the logic is going off?Lesley Logan 41:36  Yeah, yeah, I thank you for sharing that. Because I think it is. It allows everybody to go okay, if I'm, like, if I'm stayin on guard, I'm asking questions, and I can consciously go into a group. And, and many groups can be just a group. And if I ever feel like I'm at a point where I cannot ask those questions, I cannot be critical. There's my red flags to go. Okay. Then I like I've, I've leaned into the spectrum too far with this place, you know, soDaniella Mestyanek Young 42:07  that's 100% 100%. Correct. Lesley Logan 42:10  Yeah. Yeah. And I, I feel like sometimes I get really on guard because I was raised. I was not raised in a, like a shiny happy people type cult. But my parents, my parents were very much in organized religions. However, they changed pretty much every year for a good several years. So I'm like, I'm like, did we stop going? Because like it was, my mom. The big joke was that we stopped going, we switched church just because of football. Because we'd stopped going every football season. I think my mom was too embarrassed to go back to that cult. We had a start a new one. That's likeDaniella Mestyanek Young 42:50  It's funny, though. But this is actually some of the advice that I give to people. Like if you're trying to understand cults and coercive control, like read five different memoirs, right? Because once you read enough, where the details are completely different, you'll start to realize that it's a pattern. Yeah. Right. And it seems like that's accidentally what your mom was doing. Because you had so many, whether, whether she realized it or whether you realize that right, you started to see these patterns and be like, oh, I get like what this is, you know, because you're seeing so many different ways. And for me, I was reading about all of these different Christian cults. And so in my head, you know, 22 years old, the problem is Christianity. And then I read a memoir by a girl who grew up in Scientology, and it was exactly like, sounded exactly like my childhood and a bunch of similar themes. And that's when I was like, oh, it's that the essence of mind control and controlling other humans is, it's like, it's not only the same, it's programmatic, so we can spot these markers as it's happening, right? Lesley Logan 44:02  Yeah. I'm glad that you brought that up. I love that you said five different ones because then you're not able to go well, because I'm not in a Christian group that I'm not a cult. It's like actually what you're saying this programming can happen in any type of group. So And as we're all trying to follow that journey like you followed your journey to become an author, whatever that is, if you're listening wherever you're going, all this is is to help you what I hope you're getting out of this is I help you understand like science where maybe your your goal your ultimate idea of what you wanted has led you down to a path of like being part of some group that is not healthy for you and it's actually not going to help you get to that next level.Daniella Mestyanek Young 44:43  So the number one you know, the number one personality type that they say that is amongst people that join cults is being a seeker, you know, which I say if you're if you like to read books, or you're listening to this podcast, right, you're probably a seeker, and something that cults and coercive groups and coercive leaders will do is weaponize your passions and weaponize your discontents. Right. So if you're this person who's doing exactly what I did, I'm dropping out of the business world, I'm gonna go seek for my own thing, I'm gonna be super passionate, I want to change the world, I have joined 1000 culty groups, you know, like, those things are the things that are qualities that make you this amazing human that makes you the person that can probably go achieve anything you want. But it also can be weaponized against you, you know, and General Stanley McChrystal, he has this really great concept of like, when we are looking at threats to our leadership or our groups, we don't usually look at ourselves as one of the threats, right. So that I think is just one of those things, you know, that's really important to kind of focus on and I always like to stay away from the words of good or bad, and none of this stuff is to scare anyone, it's just literally to see, by looking at these extreme examples, we can find those parallels when they start, right. Yeah, when our group is on the international news with really bad bad stuff.Lesley Logan 46:21  Yeah, yeah, it can happen in, in your, in your local gym, you know, Daniella, I feel like I could talk to you forever. I've also, because I've just been listening to your book, like, crazy to, to get to know you more, and what you're up to, I'm excited to see where you go with all of this. Because the good part about being a seeker is that I do think that deal with all of your tools, you know, will probably educate all of us in bigger ways than we can ever be. And then those of us who are in leadership who are who want to lead the seekers in a safe, and just a group environment can learn so much more about how we can do that. So thank you. We're gonna take a quick break.Daniella Mestyanek Young 47:01  And thank you so much for listening to the audio. Because doing that was one of the hardest things ever.Lesley Logan 47:08  I can't even imagine because, like, I just how much stuff that I have to do. And my husband's like, well, when you read it, it sounds like you're reading and I'm like, Uh huh. I'm, well you want me to read this. So I'm reading. So, I can't even imagine. Daniella Mestyanek Young 47:25  Here's the thing that I think your leaders will get a kick out of right? It was like doing that I had to record it straight through in five days, it felt like it was going to kill me it was so so so so hard. But I was a trained exploited actor from the age of birth by this cult, and I got to go use my own voice and my own voice acting abilities, which got me recommended in the New York Times to read this book about them for global distribution. So that was like, those moments of like, even though this is so hard, right, like I'm doing this to own my story to get it back into like, this is how I win, you know? So anyways, (inaudible)Lesley Logan 48:06  So powerful like oh my God. Okay, where can people find you follow you work with you get your books get get notifications of your next book.Daniella Mestyanek Young 48:16  So my website is www.uncultureyourself.com you can find out all kinds of things about me there including sassy T-shirts, um, best bet is going to be follow me on TikTok at Daniella Mestyanek Young and we're there all day all the time talking about cults and extreme groups and extremely bad leadership and ways it might show up in your life. And of course knitting. And, you know, the book is available anywhere you can buy books, and I hope that you all will both read the book and then come join one of our online conversations about it because we are all learning from each other.Lesley Logan 48:54  Yeah, I agree. You've given us a lot. You got us tips and all these things, but I would love we like to end with like bold, executed intrinsic targeted steps because it's one thing to be inspired. It's another thing to like, have an action step you can take on what do you have for our listeners today? Daniella Mestyanek Young 49:13  Okay, so everyone does vision exercises, but as an organizational psychologist, I feel like this is where I must go and I have a good one. Which is just because it's for bold it's for backwards planning, right? It's just you imagine yourself when you're 80 and then you go through all of your senses, right? So dream life, what are you seeing around you? What are you hearing? What are you smelling? What are you tasting? What are you feeling? And then how do you start to backwards plan your life so that you can get there? So that's one that I really like cray because it really gets to the like we have one life to live it. What do we want out of it right? And how can we create those things? And then the other, I think, executable advice is like, when you figure out what you want to be, even if you don't know what that is, yeah, you just know it's something more or it's in this direction. Like, everyone is going to give you advice. Listen to all of it. But if it's negative advice, only listen to people who've done what you're trying to do.Lesley Logan 50:35  That's so helpful.Daniella Mestyanek Young 50:36  Yeah, like I had so many people tell me that what I was going for was impossible. And like, yeah, because nobody's done what I've done before. So they couldn't see it. But I could, but I had specific things like, oh, self-publish a book because nobody can reverse engineer a bestselling memoir. And I said to myself, well, has this person written the bestselling memoir? No. Okay. I'm gonna go find someone who has, you know, so I think we encounter this a lot in the world of seekers and what we're trying to be and sharing our passions. And it is, it is so up and down, right? You're gonna have moments that you think you screwed everything up, and then you're gonna have moments that it's all coming together. But if you just like, talk to everyone, keep your mind open. Listen to everyone, but only pay attention to the naysayers who have done what you're trying to do. Yeah, yeah, who are not the naysayers were like, that's the legitimate negative advice is learning from them. But so many other people are just saying telling you not to because they can't see it.Lesley Logan 51:46  Yeah, I agree with that. Like, I think, you know, when I started work for myself, everyone in my family who was giving me negative advice, oh, you're not gonna move how you pay your bills, all this negative stuff. It's like, Well, none of you have worked for yourself. So appreciate it. But like, that's an easy filter versus like my my great uncle who has worked for himself. He's like, that's amazing. Do this one thing. It's gonna be hard, but it's like okay, it's gonna be hard. He knows. And here's something advice I can take him. I think that's it, Daniella. Thank you so much. I also I love I love the vision of day but I also love that you put it through the filters of the senses that's really uniquely different. So thank you for for that. Oh my god, this puppy is so cute. If you're watching on YouTube, she's been doing this entire time. I'm so impressed. I've knitted nothing in my life and her dog looks like a stuffed animal. So Daniella, thank you so much. Y'all. How are you going to use these tips in your life? What are you going to do with them next make sure you let Daniella know how this podcast made you feel tag her tag the Be It pod and share this with a friend who might needs to hear it that they're the 10 signs in a cult and they don't want to listen to you. So give them this podcast and until next time. Be it till you see it. Lesley Logan 51:47  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. Brad Crowell 52:21  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 52:26  It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo. Brad Crowell 52:28  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 52:32  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell 52:39  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I created a summary of my analysis of BJU from the previous episode and I sent it to two cult experts. The cult experts are Rachel Bernstein LMFT and Daniella Mestyanek Young. Rachel Bernstein, therapist, and renowned cult expert shares her insights on Bob Jones University. She is the host of the “IndoctriNation” podcast which covers cults, manipulators, and systems of control. For 30 years, she has helped former cult members and those who have loved ones in cults and highly manipulative relationships. Rachel has helped people from over 300 cults throughout her career. She provides individual counseling, family counseling, and, when possible, group therapy for former cult members. She also helps families trying to reach out to their loved ones in the cult. Listen to the IndoctriNation Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and other platforms.Daniella Mestyanek Young is an American author and speaker who was raised in the religious sex cult, Children of God. She later served as an intelligence officer for the US Army for over six years, making the rank of Captain, and became one of the first women in US Army history to conduct deliberate ground combat operations when she volunteered to serve on a Female Engagement Team and received the Presidential Volunteer Service Award. Daniella lives with her husband and daughter in Maryland and holds a Master's degree in Industrial and Organizational Psychology from the Harvard Extension School.Buy her memoir Uncultured: https://www.amazon.com/Uncultured-Memoir-Daniella-Mestyanek-Young/dp/1250280117Follow her on TikTok to learn her 10 part definition of a cult: https://www.tiktok.com/@daniellamestyanekyoungConnect with Andrew PledgerSocial Media: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/linksJoin my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/4ndrewpledgerMore stories on 'Beyond BJU' on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and other platforms.Sources: https://www.tumblr.com/survivingbjupodcast/7261048166690re81600/sources?source=share Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join us on this gripping episode as we welcome Daniella Mestyanek Young, an author, and scholar who shares her harrowing story of growing up in a religious sex cult called the Children of God. Listen in as Daniella details the history of the cult, their recruitment methods, and the difficulties she faced in escaping this group that promised a better life. Raised in this cult, Daniella opens up about her childhood experiences in the controlling purity culture of the cult, and how it led to child trafficking and the production of cult childhood entertainment videos. Her story is a profound testament to survival and resilience.We also, delve into Daniella's military career and draw striking parallels between the experience of joining a cult and basic military training. As Daniella recounts her experience of being excommunicated from the cult at 15, and how that led her to sign up for the army for a sense of belonging, the conversation turns to the military's recruitment crisis, the forever war, and the treatment of veterans. We explore how the military, much like cults, offers a sense of belonging and superiority over others, and how such a mindset can lead to immense pressure and repression.Finally, we examine the healing process after escaping a cult and the importance of owning one's story. Daniella shares her experience with life-saving therapy, her journey of self-discovery, and the empowering process of writing her story. Listen in as we discuss the Ferris Doctrine and how it has been used to protect the military from lawsuits regarding rape culture, the parallels between cults and the military, and how cults use programming and influence for power and control. This episode is not just a recounting of Daniella's past, but a powerful exploration of healing, empowerment, and personal identity.Don't miss the BANGER!!!Connect with Daniella:Website- https://www.uncultureyourself.com/......#soulawakening #consiousness#innerwisdom #quantumfield#higherdimensions #lightbody#raiseyourfrequency #conciousness#thirdeyeawakening #metaphysics#quantumhealing #ascendedmasters#consciousawakening #awakenyoursoul#thirdeyethirst #manifestingdreams#powerofpositivtiy #spiritualawakenings#higherconscious #spiritualthoughts#lightworkersunited #highestself#positiveaffirmation #loaquotes#spiritualinspiration #highvibrations#spiritualhealers #intuitivehealer#powerofthought#spiritualityreignssupreme --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thehiddengateway/support

In this episode, we're joined by Daniella Mestyanek Young, the author of Uncultured. She was born a third generation member of an influential family, within The Family International, better known as the Children of God cult. She escaped at fifteen, put herself through school, and graduated from college as valedictorian. Daniella joined the Army, became Captain, and she received the Presidential Volunteer Service Award. She was an Intelligence Officer in one of the Army's first Female Engagement Teams. In two tours and six years, she saw patterns in the military that were just like her experiences in the Children of God. Here are Daniella's 10 characteristics of a cult that we talk about: 1. Has a charismatic leader (and a skinny white woman) 2. A sacred assumption 3. The transcendental mission 4. Self-sacrifice of members 5. Limits access to the outside world 6. Distinguishable vernacular 7. Us versus them mentality 8. Exploits members' labor 9. High exit costs 10. Ends justify the means mentality Find Daniella online: https://twitter.com/daniellamyoung https://www.instagram.com/daniellamyoung_ https://www.tiktok.com/@daniellamestyanekyoung By Daniella's book UnCULTured https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781250280114 ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ ⛬ For $3 a month, listen to the rest of this episode and get an extra few subscriber only episodes every month. We have a limited number of True Believer memberships remaining. Follow us on Twitter at https://twitter.com/wetwiredpod and Instagram at https://instagram.com/wetwiredpod Join our Discord to keep the conversation going. https://discord.gg/fr62mpUy5c

DANIELLA MESTYANEK YOUNG is an American author and speaker who was raised in the religious cult, Children of God. She later served as an intelligence officer for the US Army for over six years, making the rank of Captain, and became one of the first women in US Army history to conduct deliberate ground combat operations when she volunteered to serve on a Female Engagement Team and received the Presidential Volunteer Service Award. Daniella lives with her husband and daughter in Maryland and holds a Master's degree in Industrial and Organizational Psychology from the Harvard Extension School.Buy Daniella's memoir UnculturedConnect with Daniella on Instagram, Twitter and TikTokConnect with Andrew PledgerLinktreeSupport on PatreonInstagramTikTokTwitterYouTubeWebsite Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

**Content Warning: Brief mentions of Suic*de Ideation and R*pe**Daniella Mestyanek Young finally escaped the Children of God sex cult at age 15 desperately trying to acclimate to life in the US and starting school for the first time. Her accolades and honors would land her in the US military which not only compounded upon her growing mound of trauma, but eventually leading her to an impossible breaking point. Click here to watch on YouTubeClick here to watch the previous video with Daniella(clickable chapter markers available on YouTube)Disclaimer about the US ArmyShe attempts to enroll in public school for the first time at 15!The hardships of not understanding how school works....at all.Hiding from your backstory vs owning itFirst rule of cults- you're never in a cultThe moment she realized she WAS in a cultThe fast track to success in school- cult programming?How high demand groups/cults create toxic performance perfectionism Easy self sacrifice &. black and white thinking"Righteous Rage" We are better than you mentalityThings you may not know about the MilitaryR*pe culture & the awful story of Vanessa GuillenWhy Daniella (an officer) was blamed for creating an unsafe environment for women on deployment Extreme victim blaming!Weaponizing sex & banning sex leads to distortionsWhy women are needed in the militaryWhen the trauma goes unresolved, and surfaces with a vengeance How is she healing and what helped her get better initially?It's not about cult vs non cult- recognizing toxic behaviorLinda, ListenFollow and support Daniella!Daniella on social!TikTok: @daniellamestyanekyoungWebsite: https://www.uncultureyourself.com/Amazon: "Uncultured: A Memoir"Support ShelisePatreon: Patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannAny donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcastFind Shelise on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousnessHost Instagram @sheliseannTikTok @cults.to.consciousnessTwitter @cultstoconTheme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara**Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**

***CONTENT WARNING: Mentions of child sexual assault/physical abuse, child trafficking and sex***Please listen with care. This episode is very heavy and potentially triggering. This is, however, an important story to tell. Daniella Mestyanek Young was born and raised in the Children of God sex cult, who's goal was to raise sexually liberated children with little to no secular education. This is the story of her childhood behind the walls of the compounds all over the world. The next episode, we will focus on how she escaped, adjusted and joined the army, only to be re-traumatized all over again. Click here to watch on YouTube(clickable chapter markers available on YouTube)Thanks Sunny for your comment!TW: Child SA throughout episode (will be time stamped)TW: Child SA- Larry King Live 1993Check out her book! "Uncultured: A Memoir"Her new degree!!!History of The Children of God Cult Her grandfather met Satan and chose to join"The Sacred Assumption" Ends justify the meansMormon purity culture vs COG "love is sex" cultureWhat happens when a group tries to control sexTW: Rape- Comic book and a dangerous gameThe adults being ok with child SATW: Child SA- How her mother's teen pregnancy shaped the cultThey re-brand, change their name and become child trafficking businessAn "End Times Rap" with Daniella as a childDid Daniella's mom know it was wrong?The rules and environment she had to grow up withTW: Physical child abuseTaking back the narrative and profiting!A punishing game of telephone & curiosityDaniella making stellar parenting choices! Breaking the cycleThe "do-over" baby- Her mother getting another chanceTW: Child SA- Did the new female leader really want to make it safer for children?All the places Daniella lived- educated herself to freedomOne of Daniella's first happy memories with momHow has it been unwinding the programming? TW: Child SA- Re-writing her virginity storyComing to America aka "Babylon the Whore", being sent to Mexico, then escaping back to the USEnrolling in school for the FIRST time, as a high schoolerIt's not so easily "Cult vs Not Cult"Patron Q: Any physical issues persisting?Linda, ListenDaniella on social!TikTok: @daniellamestyanekyoungWebsite: https://www.uncultureyourself.com/Amazon: "Uncultured: A Memoir"Support ShelisePatreon: Patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannAny donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcastFind Shelise on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousnessHost Instagram @sheliseannTikTok @cults.to.consciousnessTwitter @cultstoconTheme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara**Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**

Today's episode is Sponsored by BetterHelp. We're back for part 2 of our interview with Daniella Mestyanek Young, the badass author of Uncultured: a Memoir. In her book, Young gets into the nitty gritty of growing up in the Children of God cult, now known as “The Family International,” with their horrifying pedophilic practice called “Law of Love.” In part 2, we dive deeper into Young's time as a Captain in the US Army—a role that threw Young back into the trenches of misogynist and coercive abuse resembling the neglect she survived in her childhood.  How did military personnel respond to Young's whistleblowing? What did she endure during her hazing as a new soldier?  And why did another captain tell her she'd “probably get raped” on a certain military deployment?  Listen to find out—and make sure to catch part 1 first!  To book Daniella Mestyanek Young as a keynote speaker on topics of group behavior and where we see cultic practices creep into less obvious groups, visit Macmillan Speakers' Bureau Daniella's website Daniella's TikTok Daniella's Instagram Daniella's Twitter Please note, this series includes details of sexual abuse. Listener discretion is strongly advised. If you, or someone who know, is a survivor of sexual assault, abuse, grooming, child abuse, or human trafficking, RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline offers support at 800.656.HOPE (4673). Also… Hear Ye, Hear Ye: The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Nobody's mad at you, just don't be a culty fuckwad. Other Links: Check out our lovely sponsors Join ‘A Little Bit Culty' on Patreon Get poppin' fresh ALBC Swag Support the pod and smash this link Cult awareness and recovery resources CREDITS:  Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames Production Partner: Citizens of Sound Producer: Will Retherford Senior Producer: Jess Tardy Writer: Mathias Rosenzweig Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is Sponsored by BetterHelp. If hell is real, there is perhaps no circle of it as harrowing nor vile as the experience of growing up in the Children of God cult. Still active under the name “The Family International,” the group is known for being a real-life manifestation of the shittiest of shitty macabre practices, such as child sexual abuse involving their “Law of Love,”—a mandate for females of all ages to show Jesus their love by letting men straight up rape them.  One would hope that growing up in COG would be the last coercive, abusive, and negligent experience for today's guest, Daniella Mestyanek Young, who is an American author, keynote speaker, and previous Captain in the US Army. One would also hope for ponies and rainbows and a bigger tax return this year but HEY, life's no cake walk. On today's episode, Young discusses her book Uncultured: a Memoir, wherein she details her cult-riddled childhood and how, shockingly, the US Army reflected comparable practices.  But how? Take a listen to part 1 of our interview with Daniella, with part 2 coming out next week.  To book Daniella Mestyanek Young as a keynote speaker on topics of group behavior and where we see cultic practices creep into less obvious groups, visit Macmillan Speakers' Bureau Daniella's website Daniella's TikTok Daniella's Instagram Daniella's Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Daniella Mestyanek Young - Sex Cult SurvivorDivorced: The Children of God cultTW: Discussion of CSA and military sexual assaultDANIELLA MESTYANEK YOUNG is an American author and speaker who was raised in the religious cult, Children of God.She later served as an intelligence officer for the US Army for over 6 years, making the rank of Captain, and became one of the first women in US Army history to conduct deliberate ground combat operations when she volunteered to serve on a Female Engagement Team, and received the Presidential Volunteer Service Award. Daniella is a wife and mother in Maryland and holds a Master's Degree in Industrial and Organizational Psychology from the Harvard Extension School.In today's episode, Daniella discusses escaping from the Children of God and trying to integrate into secular life, as well as parallels between all cultish groups (including the military).For more from Daniella, join us online in October at CORT2023: https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/DANIELLA'S LINKShttps://www.amazon.com/Uncultured-Memoir-Daniella-Mestyanek-Young/dp/1250280117/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667828324&sr=8-1https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/growing-up-in-a-cult-we-kept-our-pain-silent-20221214-p5c6be.htmlhttps://www.mamamia.com.au/uncultured-book-daniella-young/Support this podcast on Patreon for as low as $2/month to get ad-free episodes and bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/janiceselbie TThanks to my latest Patrons: Hayley, Lois, and SatX,.Subscribe to the audio-only version here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcastRecordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference now 50% off here https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/ with discount code SPECIAL50Support the show

This is just a preview of our exclusive Patreon bonus episode. You can hear the full episode by becoming a supporter at: www.patreon.com/indoctrination Daniella Mestyanek Young is the author of UNCULTURED: A Memoir of Cults, War and Belonging which The New York Times calls “A painful and propulsive memoir delivered in the honest tones of a woman who didn't always think she'd live to tell her story” She was born a third-generation member of the infamous Children of God religious cult and grew up being trafficked around the world, before escaping that life and moving to America at age 15. She put herself through high school and graduated as college valedictorian before commissioning into the US Army as an intelligence officer, where she really started to think about group behavior…and started to see it everywhere. Daniella deployed twice to Afghanistan and became a member of one of the Army's first Female Engagement teams an experiment that put women into deliberate ground combat for the first time in Army history, and eventually led to the repeal of the sexist combat ban and the gender desegregation of the entire US military. She is a proud daughter of the 101st, (the unit portrayed in the Band of Brothers miniseries) Daniella is a recipient of the Presidential Volunteer Service Award presented by President Obama and holds a Master of Arts in Organizational Psychology from the Harvard Extension School where she focused her research on group behavior, social norms, culture, extremism, leadership demagoguery, and cults. She returns to the show to update us on what's happened since the release of her memoir Uncultured and offers a look into the topics of her next book tentatively titled "The Culting of America". Daniella and Rachel go on to discuss the parallels between military and cult indoctrination, pointing out the commonalities that exist in a variety of high-control groups. You can find out more about Daniella and her work here: https://www.uncultureyourself.com/ Thanks to all of our Patreon supporters for making this episode possible!

Daniella Mestyanek Young (@daniellamyoung) is a survivor of the religious Children of God cult, a US Army combat veteran, an extremely advanced knitter, and the author of Uncultured: A Memoir. What We Discuss with Daniella Mestyanek Young: How the seemingly wholesome Children of God (later known by variations of "The Family") religious group centered around love, faith, and Jesus — and packaged to appeal to impressionable countercultural hippie types of the day — veered into true cult territory under the direction of its leader, David Berg. How female followers of Children of God were encouraged to use their bodies and sexuality to gain converts and money in a practice known as "flirty flashing." How child sexual abuse became a commonplace Children of God practice in an effort to raise "sexually liberated" children. What this cult and others do to cultivate credibility — and raise funds — among its followers and the outside world. The toll that life in a cult takes on those who are lucky enough to exit. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/823 This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

REMEMBER THIs, Jan Karski: “Humans have infinite capacity to ignore things that are not convenient”. We're back for our final week of Women's History Month, with another mixed bag show. We wrap up March with a bit of a look back for co-host Kerry's recent discussion of feeling the stigma of finishing her education late and feeling behind everyone. And reviewing the guests (Rebecca Singh and Daniella Mestyanek Young) who joined us in the first half of the month. But while the quote above was said by a Polish-Catholic man, who found himself in an extreme circumstance and who worked in the underground to warn the world about what the Nazis were doing to the Jews of Europe/specifically in Poland, discrimination anywhere, of any kind can grow if enough people look the other way. the local headline in London, Ontario when advocates and riders are pushing City Counsel to do more to improve paratransit: “Paratransit fails to get some disabled Londoners to meeting about fixing dysfunctional system”, Daryl Newcombe, CTV News, March 6 Isn't that just horribly hysterical? We discuss what paratransit is and a little about our own experiences using it in the past and about some of the resistance the counsel has been showing during the process, but there's got to be a way and we will share more updates on that in the weeks ahead. We also hear from Kerry's new phone. Listen to see if you can catch it, along with some signature sibling bickering thrown in there. Also, talk co-host Brian's early instrument practice on the trumpet comes up plus Kerry's clarinet too. And about Brian's draft night/season of fantasy baseball starting on his birthday here, he shares about the strangeness of being into a hubby others are not; though the earlier quote was from World War II, this draft is about sports, not war. So check out our mixed bag of topical goodies here, last but not least ending the show with a tribute to disability activist Judy Heumann (rest in peace), as we wave goodbye to March. Find the documentary Crip Camp featuring Heumann with audio description here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFS8SpwioZ4 Listen to our past Outlook episode to hear our thoughts on the doc: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/outlook-2020-04-20-crip-camp/id1527876739?i=1000488226660 Our episode reviewing Heumann's book: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/outlook-2020-07-13-being-heumann-book-review/id1527876739?i=1000488226662 And the article about paratransit mentioned above can be read in full here: https://london.ctvnews.ca/paratransit-fails-to-get-some-disabled-londoners-to-meeting-about-fixing-dysfunctional-system-1.6301807

Ep 119: (part 2) Raised in one of the most notorious sex cults, one woman's memoir brings their atrocities out of the shadows and into the light. This is the Daniella Mestyanek Young story - part 2. For more information about Daniella's work, or to learn about her book, Uncultured; visit her website: https://www.uncultureyourself.com Sources for Today's Episode: Uncultured: A Memoir of Cults, War and Belonging by Daniella Mestyanek Young Interview with Daniella Mestyanek Young Davidberg.org Childrenofgod.com Sponsors: (thanks for using our promo codes, it really does help the show!) Daily Harvest Let Daily Harvest do more so you can do less. Go to DAILYHARVEST.com/women to get up to $40 off your first box. This is Actually Happening (Podcast) Follow THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING wherever you listen to podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery App. https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Credits: Written and Hosted by Amy Shlosberg and Meghan Sacks Produced & Edited by James Varga Script Editor: Abagail Belcastro Music by Dessert Media Special Thanks to: Daniella Mestyanek Young Help is Available: If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic or other violence, there are many organizations that can offer support or help you in your specific situation. For direct links to organizations please visit https://womenandcrimepodcast.com/resources/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We decided to call this special International Women's Day/Women's History Month episode of Outlook “Us and Them”, a slight altering from the term us vs them, relating to a chapter in the memoir we're featuring with this interview Kerry did for a gender studies course she recently took. “Uncultured” is a book by Daniella Mestyanek Young, a writer and scholar who's studied organizational psychology and group dynamics, specializing in extreme groups. We wanted to put out this show to show that Outlook is about disability, but that it's bigger than this one single intersectionality we share about and how systems are held together to serve the majority, leaving out the needs and rights of the minority. The book is about the cult Daniella was born into, the most notorious religious sex cult in the world called The Children of God, but in this discussion she speaks mostly about how she then fled that and joined the US military and the extreme sexism she found waiting for her in the army. Mestyanek Young explains the things she expected when joining the military and the things which surprised her. She talks to Kerry about a particular vest that was designed to stop bullets but of which was not designed to save the lives of all its wearers equally, and about her meeting with President Obama and the biases he himself held upon their meeting. Identity. Toxicity. Trauma. This “agent of change” did her part to improve the experience of women in the army, in regulation and in culture, in a place where structure is key and rigid systems harm those who don't fit the mold. And now her book is making a difference in how we stand up against harmful institutions where change is badly needed. Humans have always needed each other, safety in numbers with a group being protection, but Daniella wasn't only under threat in war on the battle field. She was under threat every day from the harmful sexism rampant in the male dominated military world she was in, hearing from the very beginning that she should expect to get raped at some point by a fellow soldier because that's just how it was in the army. This scholar of extreme group behaviours tells us why there's no us without a them and vice versa. Kerry read Uncultured and highly recommends it. You don't have to have been in the military or in a religious cult for that matter to see yourself in its pages. Buy the memoir at this link: https://bookshop.org/p/books/uncultured-a-memoir-daniella-mestyanek-young/17856062 And for more on Daniella and the book: https://www.uncultureyourself.com

Ep 118: (Part 1) Raised in one of the most notorious sex cults, one woman's memoir brings their atrocities out of the shadows and into the light. This is the Daniella Mestyanek Young story - part 1. For more information about Daniella's work, or to learn about her book, Uncultured; visit her website: https://www.uncultureyourself.com Sources for Today's Episode: Uncultured: A Memoir of Cults, War and Belonging by Daniella Mestyanek Young Interview with Daniella Mestyanek Young Davidberg.org Childrenofgod.com Sponsors: (thanks for using our promo codes, it really does help the show!) Prose (Personalized Haircare) Prose is the key to achieving all your hair goals this year. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to Prose.com/women This is Actually Happening (Podcast) Follow THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING wherever you listen to podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery App. https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Credits: Written and Hosted by Amy Shlosberg and Meghan Sacks Produced & Edited by James Varga Script Editor: Abagail Belcastro Music by Dessert Media Special Thanks to: Daniella Mestyanek Young Help is Available: If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic or other violence, there are many organizations that can offer support or help you in your specific situation. For direct links to organizations please visit https://womenandcrimepodcast.com/resources/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

KORO health snacks for 5% discount enter promo code TRUECRIME at this link: https://www.koro-shop.co.uk/ ROCKETMONEY: https://rocketmoney.com/shaun Don't fall for subscription scams. Start cancelling today at ROCKETMONEY: https://rocketmoney.com/shaun Go right now - https://rocketmoney.com/shaun - it could save you THOUSANDS a year. 

Daniella Mestyanek Young was born into the Children Of God religious cult. Her childhood was lived out behind the tall gates of a commune in Brazil, where the children were subjected to physical, emotional, and sexual abuse masked as religious discipline and divine love. At fifteen years old, she escaped. But the effects of what she experienced have had lasting impacts.  CREDITS Guest: Daniella Mestyanek Young You can find out more details about her book Uncultured here. Host: Gemma Bath Executive Producer: Gia Moylan Audio Producer: Madeline Joannou GET IN TOUCH: Feedback? We're listening! Call the pod phone on 02 8999 9386 or email us at truecrime@mamamia.com.au   Join our closed Facebook community to discuss this episode. Just search True Crime Conversations on Facebook or follow this link https://bit.ly/tcc-group  If any of the contents in this episode have caused distress, know that there is help available via Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures. Just by reading or listening to our content, you're helping to fund girls in schools in some of the most disadvantaged countries in the world - through our partnership with Room to Read. We're currently funding 300 girls in school every day and our aim is to get to 1,000. Find out more about Mamamia at mamamia.com.au Become a Mamamia subscriber: https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

OMG! Sarah and Jayme have read so many books, they don't know where to start. The winter break was a great time to get some books off their shelves.     Sarah's Shelf: Tending Roses by Lisa Wingate Hester by Laurie Lico Albanese The Wilderwomen by Ruth Emmie Lang   Jayme's Shelf: David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell Blaze Me a Sun by Christoffer Carlsson Uncultured: A Memoir by Daniella Mestyanek Young

In her memoir, 'Uncultured' Daniella Mestyanek Young tells her story of being raised in the Children of God, her escape at just 15, finding herself in a world she didn't understand, getting an education and then joining the US army and becoming an intelligence officer. It's a compelling story and Daniella talks about her book, her life and her research into both healthy organizations and toxic ones as well as her reflections on effective leadership.  Daniella's Website https://www.uncultureyourself.com/ Become a Cult Hacker Patron for just $1.50 per month https://www.patreon.com/culthackers/posts    

Daniella Mestyanek Young was born into the Children of God, as was her mother before her. She left as a teenager and put herself through school and university, then decided to join the military. Her fantastic book Uncultured explores many of the parallels between the cult and the armed forces. The New York Times called it, “A painful and propulsive memoir delivered in the honest tones of a woman who didn't always think she'd live to tell her story."You can support us on Patreon or Acast+, with a one-off donation, or grab some merch. Sarah Steel's debut book Do As I Say is available on audiobook now. Thanks to Audio-Technica, presenting partner for season 5 of Let's Talk About Sects. Use promo code LTAS10 at Audio-Technica's Australian store for 10% off and to support the show!Links:Uncultured — by Daniella Mestyanek Young, Macmillan, 2022Daniella Mestyanek Young — official websiteDaniella's Twitter, Instagram and LinkedInLost In Translation — Daniella's TEDx Tacoma talk, 20 December 2018 Subscribe and support the production of this independent podcast, and you can access early + ad-free episodes at https://plus.acast.com/s/lets-talk-about-sects. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Daniella Mestyanek Young was raised in the religious cult, Children of God. She later served as an intelligence officer for the US Army for over six years, making the rank of Captain. She writes of her life in "Uncultured: A Memoir."

After a childhood in a cult, Daniella Mestyanek Young was drawn to a world with rigid rules and a strict chain of command. She joins host Krys Boyd to discuss being raised in The Children of God religious cult, her escape to build a new life, and what her later career in the military taught her about herself. Her book is “Uncultured: A Memoir.”

On this edition of the Mountain Life, hosts David Wintzer and Lynn Ware Peek speak with (00:56) author and Children of God cult survivor Daniella Mestyanek Young whose new memoir, Uncultured, explores the dangers unleashed when harmful group mentality goes unrecognized. (27:25) Then, David Belz and Sofia Mileti of The Shop Yoga studio join us to talk about the grand reopening of the longtime Park City studio located in Old Town Park City.

Daniella Mestyanek Young's book Uncultured shows a similarity between her Army career and an abusive cult where she grew up.

In this episode with author Daniella Mestyanek Young, we discuss her childhood being born and raised in David Berg's Children of God - known today as The Family International. We then compare the coercion and abuses inflicted upon Daniella and others in the CoG to the US Army - of which Daniella served as an intelligence officer after leaving the CoG.TW - we discuss the sexual abuse of children and the rape culture of several environments still in existence and still abusing men, women and children today.GRAB A COPY OF UNCULTURED TODAY! - https://www.amazon.com/Daniella-Mestyanek-Young/e/B09YP2MKC3/ref=aufs_dp_fta_dskGet in Touch or Support -Patreon - patreon.com/thecultvaultCult Vault Shop - cultvaultpodcast.com/shopCrimecon UK 2022 - https://www.crimecon.co.uk/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cultvaultpod/Twitter: https://twitter.com/CultVaultPodReddit: https://www.reddit.com/user/Cult-VaultGmail: cultvaultpodcast@gmail.comSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/cultvaultpodcast/exclusive-contentAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We talk with Daniella Mestyanek Young, author of Uncultured: A Memoir, about her traumatic experiences as a child in the cult, The Children of God, and later, overcoming the oppressive culture she had to endure in the military.

Daniella Mestyanek Young@daniellamyounghttps://www.uncultureyourself.com/Daniella Mestyanek Young is an Author, a TEDx Speaker, a sex-cult survivor, a US Army Combat Veteran, an extremely advanced knitter, and someone who studies & thinks a lot about toxic group behavior and leadership demagoguery.William Haylonhttps://www.wdhaylon.com/NEW RELEASEIntroducingThe College Shrinkby William HaylonLife is hard. Too hard for many of us to navigate alone. That's why we sometimes need to reach out to someone to help us understand it all.

Daniella Mestyanek Young is a strong, courageous woman who has written the memoir, Uncultured. This fascinating interview will be of interest to anyone born into an authoritarian cult, to women everywhere, to anyone who served in the military as well as anyone who wants to read about the incredible journey. Daniella was trained to obey orders in a cult that regularly raped children, endured hours of corporal punishment, ran away at age 15, became valedictorian, became an Army intelligence captain, and is working towards a Masters degree in Organizational Development and Change at Harvard. Learn more about Steven Hassan and Freedom of Mind Resource Center. Visit freedomofmind.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Inspired Women Podcast. On this episode your host Megan Hall interviews Daniella Mestyanek Young. Author / Speaker / Group Behavior Specialist / Veteran / Cult Survivor / Mother / Human. Daniella is the author of UNCULTURED: A... Read moreCults Don't Think They Are Cults Featuring Daniella Mestyanek Young

Daniella Mestyanek Young was born into the Children of God cult, where she was subjected to all sorts of abuse as a child. Daniella M Young links: https://www.uncultureyourself.com https://www.amazon.co.uk/Uncultured-Memoir-Daniella-Mestyanek-Young-ebook/dp/B09NTK34N7 https://twitter.com/daniellamyoung Andrew Gold links: http://youtube.com/andrewgold1 http://instagram.com/andrewgold_ok http://twitter.com/andrewgold_ok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Daniella Mestyanek Young is an American author and speaker born into the religious cult The Children of God. Daniella served as an Intelligence Officer in the US Army for over six years, making the rank of Captain, and became one of the first women in US Army history to conduct deliberate ground combat operations when she volunteered to serve on a Female Engagement Team. She is a recipient of the Presidential Volunteer Service Medal. Daniella lives with her husband and daughter in Maryland and is a candidate for a Master's degree in Industrial and Organizational Psychology from Harvard Extension School. Daniella's first book, UNCULTURED: A Memoir of Cults, War, and Belonging, is being published by St. Martin's Press on September 20th, 2022. Daniella shares with Rachel some insights behind the stories in her book Uncultured, more than a memoir about an exceptional upbringing, but about a woman who, no matter the lack of tools given to her, is determined to overcome. Throughout her story, Daniella draws parallels between her life as a child in the Children of God commune and her time as an adult in the U.S. military. Pointing out the stunning similarities in rape culture in both organizations. She goes on to explain the dangerous deification of the U.S. Army, and the cult-like devotion and martyrdom expected of its soldiers Before you Go: Rachel reflects on her experiences with Children of God survivors over the years, explaining the difficulties of "learning life as a second language" for those who have left the high control groups they were born into. You can pre-order Daniella's book Uncultured here: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57290004-uncultured Visit her website here: https://www.uncultureyourself.com/ Watch Daniella's TEDx talk here: https://youtu.be/96gBf6LNxa4 Thanks to all of our newest Patreon supporters: Brooke Parker, Kerry Stout, Laura Ollanketo, Kylie Quilliam, Lisa Shklovsky, Jo March, Stephanie Roberts, Chelsea Fralick, Pamela Kyssa, Justine Fernandes, Shira Stanford-Asiyo, Michele Fullarton and Franny Yep To help support the show monthly and get bonus episodes, shirts, and tote bags, please visit: www.patreon.com/indoctrination Prefer to support the IndoctriNation show with a one-time donation? Use this link: www.paypal.me/indoctrination You can help the show for free by leaving a rating on Spotify or Apple/ iTunes. It really helps the visibility of the show!

Brandi and Matt Larsen join us to share the story of a simple trip to the playground that ended up being not simple at all. Check out Matt's app Scorch Injector here: https://lkwdcast.com/scorch-injector-game Check out Brandi's upcoming book Uncultured: a Memoir, Co-written with Daniella Mestyanek Young, here: https://brandilarsen.com/books Hosted by Mary Theresa Archbold and Pat Shay

In this episode we are joined by Daniella Mestyanek Young, one of the first of the third generation of the Children of God cult.  Born in the Philppines to a 15 year old mother with a father older than her grandfather, she experienced an intense amount of cultural ambiguity from a very young age. After being excommunicated from the cult, the only world she had ever known at the age of 15, she put herself through  school and then decided to join the military.  As she climbed the ranks in the United States Army and made history for American women in combat, she realized that the two groups were not as different as one might think.  Listen as we delve into the world of psychology, discuss the dangers of group think and ponder our similarities as humans regardless of our backgrounds or the trauma we've experienced. Follow Daniella on Twitter @daniellamyoung and find her book "Uncultured" here: https://bit.ly/uncultured-bookSupport the show (https://paypal.me/butterfliesandbraver?locale.x=en_US)

In this episode I talk with Daniella about her experiences growing up in the nefarious movement The Children of God - now known as The Family International. This movement has been exposed in various ways to the public but it remained hidden in the shadows around the world for many years whilst children and congregants were subjected to some of the worst abuse imaginable. Daniella tells us of her escape and arrival into another high demand group - the US military.Daniella's Tedx Talk - https://www.ted.com/talks/daniella_young_lost_in_transitionGet In TouchInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/cultvaultpod/Twitter: https://twitter.com/CultVaultPodTumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/cultvaultReddit: https://www.reddit.com/user/Cult-VaultGmail: cultvaultpodcast@gmail.comPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/thecultvaultSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/cultvaultpodcast/exclusive-contentAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Women of the Military would like to thank Sabio Coding Bootcamp for sponsoring this week's episode! Sabio Coding Bootcamp is a top-ranked coding Bootcamp that is 100% dedicated to helping smart and highly motivated individuals become exceptional software engineers.  Visit their website www.Sabio.la to learn how you may be able to use your GI Bill benefits to train at Sabio.  Your tuition and a monthly BAH stipend may be paid during your training period.  They also are 100% committed to helping you find your first job in tech.  Don't forget to head over to www.Sabio.la to learn more today.Check out the full show notes at https://www.airmantomom.com/2021/07/military-culture/Check out the full transcript here.  Thank you to my Patreon Sponsor Col Level and above:Kevin Barba, Adriana Keefe, Lorraine DiazThank you Patreon members for your support. Become a Patreon member today! Click here.   

Welcome to The Inspired Women Podcast. On this episode your host Megan Hall interviews Daniella Mestyanek Young Daniella Mestyanek Young is an American Author, TEDx Speaker and Organizational Behavior consultant. She is an Army Combat Veteran, one of the first... Read moreCult Think Featuring Daniella Mestyanek Young

If you recall a few weeks ago, we were lucky enough to have Daniella Mestyanek Young on The Matt Baxter Show. It just so happens that as a part of her coming on our show, we got the opportunity to get on hers as well. Here is that episode!