Podcast appearances and mentions of jake kelfer

Brad and Lesley break down the interview with Dr. Celeste Holbrook, a sex educator and author who helps people move beyond shame and create healthy intimacy. They explore how harmful cultural narratives impact women, why communication matters more than technique, and how to reclaim your sexual choices as your own.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co .And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How to make your own Pilates sandbag and what size cord works best.The impact of purity culture on women's sexual experiences.Why sex isn't static and how it evolves as you mature.The people-pleasing responses that block real connection.Dr. Celeste's four-part guide to heal any sexual challenges.The importance of prioritizing oneself and going at one's own pace.Episode References/Links:UK Mullet Tour - https://opc.me/ukP.O.T. Chicago 2025 - https://pilates.com/pilates-on-tour-chicagolandCambodia October 2025 Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.comWinter Tour Waitlist - https://opc.me/eventsHow to Make Your Own Pilates Sandbag - https://www.youtube.com/live/tn4yUcEQnnMSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsMissionary Position: A Slightly Irreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture by Dr. Celeste Holbrook - https://a.co/d/3UimUKxI Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris - https://a.co/d/38uINCkI Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye Documentary - https://streamable.com/1ldz9cEpisode 202: Jake Kelfer - https://beitpod.com/jakekelferIf you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! 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So she was like sex is bad, sex is bad, sex is bad, sex is bad. And then she gets married, and all of a sudden, sex is good. Lesley Logan 0:19  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:02  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the freeing convo I had with Dr. Celeste Holbrook in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now and then listen to it, and then come back and join us here. I'm gonna tell you right now. We talked about sex, baby. So you're gonna wanna listen to it. I also have her book. I'm so excited about it. We talked about a lot of stuff it. We went all places. Yeah, we didn't really talk about positions or things like that. We just, like talked about the things that people don't talk about.Brad Crowell 1:36  Actually, you know what you talked about more than anything else, was communication.Lesley Logan 1:39  Yeah, oh, yeah, we did. Oh, and, you know, what's really interesting, her book is so timely at the time we're recording this in my fucking Instagram feed, some stupid man decided to talk about stinky coochies. Oh, yeah. And your coochie needs to be Christian if you don't want your husband to cheat on you. The fucking bullshit that people lie to women about. Lie, just bold face fucking lie. Brad Crowell 2:05  There's no such thing as a Christian coochie Go fuck yourself. That is insane. Lesley Logan 2:09  It also, also, also, I don't care what you believe, it is never your fucking fault if someone cheats on you, it's never your fault. It's always about them. There's something going on there. It's not your fault. Period.Brad Crowell 2:24  Yeah, I was incensed after watching that video. And there's a special place in hell for that pastor.Lesley Logan 2:30  Yeah, there really is. And then I just listened to an interview about some girls who were, like, raised in a purity culture, and I forgot, I had forgotten a lot of the shit that I was, like, told and now and then I read, I've been reading her book, and it's like, holy fuck. It's a wonder, it's a wonder women anywhere are having actual sex that's not painful. So anyways, go read her book. Go listen to that episode. We're gonna talk about some good stuff in a second. I promise. I promise. I do think that the world does get better at some point. I do. I do. I have to believe in that. Lesley Logan 3:00  Today is September 4th 2025 and it is National Wildlife Day. And on National Wildlife Day, hold on, I pulled up, oh. Brad Crowell 3:11  America marks National Wildlife day every year. Lesley Logan 3:14  No, no, no. Don't take this away from me. Brad Crowell 3:16  On September 4th. Lesley Logan 3:17  It's an opportunity for everyone to step back, take a deep breath and think about all that surrounds us. It is inspiring to consider preservation and conservation efforts that work to improve in the natural world, there remains so much to learn, as Henry David Thoreau once wrote, "In wildness is the preservation of the world." Okay, but we couldn't agree more, so let's take a closer look at this day. Yeah, go spend some time out in a preserve near you. We have a preserve near us. Brad Crowell 3:50  We do, it's really close. Lesley Logan 3:51  We actually have the wetlands. And then if we go up two hours, is a really cool preserve we can go camping at, people go fishing at, there's a fucking lake. Brad Crowell 3:58  There's one lake right here, like, a couple blocks from us. Lesley Logan 4:01  Oh, there is another preserve. Brad Crowell 4:02  Yeah, like, literally in the city, this preserve. Yeah.Lesley Logan 4:04  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So go find a preserve near you. You know, I know people like to get mad about the coyotes or the mountain lions that live there. They were there first, so take that in. And second, like it's, there's just something like, it's kind of cool that the way this wildlife that we live and go to a zoo. I mean, make sure it's a good one. But like, take it in, take in the wildlife. Because one, it's going away and. Brad Crowell 4:04  I think the zoo would be the opposite of wildlife.Lesley Logan 4:30  Okay, maybe. But I bet you, I bet you, some of them donate to wildlife. Maybe. Brad Crowell 4:35  I'm, you know. Lesley Logan 4:36  Go camping. Brad Crowell 4:36  They can be well intentioned. Lesley Logan 4:38  So what do you want them to do? Go camping? Brad Crowell 4:40  Yeah, go camping. Lesley Logan 4:41  This wasn't very clear. So I guess take a moment to consider how you're going to preserve the wildlife near you and conserve efforts, like your conservation efforts. You know, can you stop putting plastic straws near you know, water, like the ocean and things like that. The turtles are choking, you guys, so. Brad Crowell 5:02  Yeah, let's not choke any turtles. Lesley Logan 5:04  No, it's so sad, it' so sad. I can't watch those things. So anyway.Brad Crowell 5:07  Our neighbor has a tortoise. Lesley Logan 5:08  Yeah, Tortimer. Brad Crowell 5:09  Tortimer the tortoise, the tortoise, Tortimer the tortoise, and he's like, 15 or something.Lesley Logan 5:15  But he's not even a desert tortoise. He's an African, something tortoise but. Brad Crowell 5:19  Yeah, I can remember the name. Lesley Logan 5:20  Speaking of preservation out here in Vegas, So the desert tortoise is about to go extinct. There's actually we're having some huge problems with them, and have enough space for them, because they actually need flat desert land to crawl on. And then, of course, flat desert land is what everone wants to develop because. Lesley Logan 5:42  Was it extinct, or we're just destroying their habitat here? Lesley Logan 5:42  We're destroying their habitat here. Brad Crowell 5:43  Yeah, I'm not sure if this is their only environment. But, but, yeah, like the the Las Vegas Valley, you know, is expanding. They're expecting something like 400,000 people to move here in the next decade. And so they're, they're slapping together.Lesley Logan 5:53  The lack of rain is not deterring anyone so. Brad Crowell 5:55  Well, they're slapping together all these expansions all around the city in, you know. And basically, they're driving out the they're changing the desert landscape, which is driving away the turtles.Lesley Logan 6:03  And the desert tortoise can't live near the mountains because they don't climb rocks. They just walk on the flat desert. Also, also, I learned this fun fact, you like, they have, they have territories, right? Like, you can't have two male tortoises near each other, and they need to have a burrow during the hot part of the day, and if they don't know the area, you just can't pick up a tortoise and, like, move it to another part of the desert. They got to know where to burrow. So anyways, these are important things to know, and so if you live in an area that's got some wildlife, maybe take it upon yourself to find out what's going on, and your local city council meetings, and who's trying to develop those areas, and yell and scream because it's really cathartic, and you can save a wildlife animal near you. We are we've been recently yelling and screaming to keep Las Vegas loud, so downtown loud. So, you know, it's fun. It's fun to be part of things in the community, to, like, take care of other people. Okay, enough about this day. Lesley Logan 6:04  Coming up. Oh, like now we're actually. Brad Crowell 6:33  Yeah, we're literally en route. Lesley Logan 6:51  So we're in the U.K., by the way. Brad Crowell 6:57  We just we just landed. Lesley Logan 7:03  No, we've been here a day. We're in Scotland today. Yep, we are actually at the very top of Scotland. We're as far up as we can go. And because, that's because we're gonna take a little vacation, we're gonna see some interesting Scottish games, and then we're gonna drive all the way down to Essex, where we're teaching for two days The Movement Base. And there might be a couple spots left in the workshops, and then we're going up to Leeds to teach there on the weekend in September. So this is all happening in September, September 8th, 9th and 10th, and then 13th and 14th. Anyways, it's a Tuesday and Wednesday. Brad Crowell 7:33  I don't actually remember the specific dates, but a. Lesley Logan 7:36  And a Saturday and a Sunday and. Brad Crowell 7:38  Go to opc.me/uk for the specifics. Lesley Logan 7:41  Yeah, and don't miss out, because we're not coming back. Okay.Brad Crowell 7:46  Not anytime soon. Last time was two years ago, so yeah, you know, but yeah, we're never gonna be back. Lesley Logan 7:50  No, we'll come back. Then we're gonna go home for two days, and then we're going to go to Pilates on Tour in Chicagoland. Brad Crowell 7:56  Two days? Lesley Logan 7:57  Two weeks. Brad Crowell 7:58  Two weeks. Lesley Logan 7:59  Two weeks. Brad Crowell 7:59  Yeah, I was gonna say. Lesley Logan 7:59  Two weeks. Brad Crowell 7:59  Two weeks, we're home for two weeks. Lesley Logan 8:02  We're home for two weeks, and then we go to Chicagoland, no, just three weeks. Chicagoland. And the time that we're recording this, we heard it was 75% sold out. It's probably changed, but I think there's, I think the early bird ends next week, if there's any room, and then we'll be in Cambodia. And the time you're hearing this, you've got a month, you can still sign up, you can still buy a plane ticket, like there's still time,Brad Crowell 8:24  There's definitely still time. I'm still having conversations with people, and there's there's room, so.Lesley Logan 8:28  crowsnestretreats.comBrad Crowell 8:30  PS, if you have ever wanted to walk around with elephants, we go to an elephant sanctuary at the after the retreat is over, it's an extra curricular activity after that we love to do, and so we always stay an extra day. And we also go to a waterfall, which is super magical. And maybe that's the thing that you're just like, really that excited, you know, that's what you want to do. So I just want to throw those out there that you can join us for those, in addition to the retreat. Go to crowsnestretreats.com crowsnestretreats.com, and come join us.Lesley Logan 9:05  Yeah, and we're as we're, by the time we're recording this, we're also trying to lock in a day of teaching in Singapore. So my Singaporeans, hello, we are coming your way. And then we're gonna go see the botanical garden. So if you wanna walk around the gardens with us, you can. Then, December is our winter tour, and we're getting a ton of people asking us if we're going to Texas, and things like New York, and things like that. Yes, it's in the winter tour. So go to opc.me/events to get on the waitlist for that because if you're on the waitlist, you hear right away. And let me tell you, when we announce our tours, some cities literally sell out, especially on the winter tour. So because we've been doing the winter tour the longest, and people are really excited about it. So, opc.me/events. Okay.Brad Crowell 9:43  You're not wrong. Lesley Logan 9:44  Before we get into. I know, I know. We went to bed after announcing it. Woke up, two cities were sold out.Brad Crowell 9:50  Two cities were sold out in less than 24 hours last year, yeah. Lesley Logan 9:53  Okay, all right, Brad, we have an audience question to answer. Brad Crowell 9:56  Yes, we do. Lesley Logan 9:57  And actually, this is really for you. Brad Crowell 9:59  Oh would you like to read the question? Lesley Logan 10:06  Yes. Brad Crowell 10:06  Okay. Lesley Logan 10:02  @gp_pilates_studio, that's Greenpoint Pilate studio, hi, Allyn, on YouTube asks about How to Make Your Own Pilates Sandbag video. Hey, Brad, what is the diameter, the diameter of the rope and cord, the paracord that we use? What's the diameter of it? Brad Crowell 10:16  Okay. So this was on a video that we made, Lesley and I made called How to Make Your Own Pilates Sandbag, right? And if you're familiar with the sandbag, it's the bar, and then there's the cord, and then there's the weights, and you can twist it back and forth. And so we actually made one our own, and we showed you how to make your own. So if you're interested in that, it's on YouTube. Great question here, Allyn, gp_pilates_studio on YouTube. So, it doesn't matter really what the diameter is. You don't want, like, you know, an inch thick piece of rope that would be just annoying and bulky. But what I used was just like your typical, like, cheapo bought it at the hardware store, nylon cord, you know, I think it was like 10 bucks for 100 meters of it, or something like that, you know, and they wrap it around that little h looking thing, and you just spin it around it, and it's like, you know, I don't know, like, there was no real diameter. It's just the smallest thing.Lesley Logan 11:13  Okay, I found it. I found it. Three-eights of an inch.Brad Crowell 11:16  Yeah, but, but honestly, if you get a quarter of an inch, it's fine, you know, I wouldn't. I probably, like, at a half an inch or an inch thick rope, it would just be annoying because you're twisting it around this, you know, it would, it would become like a spool, and that's just silly. So smaller is fine. The reality is, it just needs to support, you know, a pound or two pounds of weight, you know, so we're not, we're not trying to lift a house here. We're just.Lesley Logan 11:39  I'm pretty sure it's a three-eights of an inch one that looks like what we got. And also it, because I remember, it fits like, right through, if you just drill a hole we didn't get anything fancy.Brad Crowell 11:40  Yeah and I just, yeah, I just took a, you know, a quarter inch drill bit right through the middle, and then I just threaded that through. So as long as you can get the rope through, it's fine. That's really, you know, that all that matters.Lesley Logan 12:00  Yeah, I love it. So you can all make your own sandbag. We did it for the Accessories Deck, which is now shipping worldwide.Brad Crowell 12:07  Yeah. We actually did. We showed you how to build three different pieces of equipment. One was the push up handles. One was the the two by four, and then finally, was this one, this Pilates sandbag. So, yeah, great question. Thanks for that. If you have a question, you can text us at 310-905-5534, or you can submit your question or your win to beitpod.com/questions beitpod.com/questions and we kind of need you to submit y'all so we have some wins to talk about on our Friday pod so let's go. Let's go right now. Pull out your phone, go to beitpod.com/questions beitpod.com/questions. All right, that's enough of that.Lesley Logan 12:50  You know how easy a win is. This is my new win. So, I have been trying to figure I love my I love my red light mask and neck. And when I got them, I was using them really regularly, and we got really busy and and I've everything else, all my other habits were really good, but that one is has just been hard to fit back in. And I saw the dermatologist, and he's like, yeah, my wife uses hers every night. And I said, oh, when? He was like, before bed, and you know, so she washes her face and she use them. I'm like, oh, I can do that. And so I have done it four nights in a row, right before bed. I just put them on my face and I lay there. And you know, what's crazy is, like, I actually am getting some really good, deep sleep, like I'm sleeping really well. And I think it's that there's a time before I fall asleep that I'm just laying there waiting to go to sleep. So that's a win. Brad Crowell 13:35  Like, it's on for like, 10 minutes. Lesley Logan 13:35  Yeah, it goes off on its own. So even if I fell asleep with them, like, I wouldn't want to do that, but I could fall asleep with them laying on my face, and like, you know, yeah. See how easy that was. I just came up with a win on the spot. Lesley Logan 13:41  That's a win on the spot. Lesley Logan 13:43  You can do it too. Brad Crowell 13:46  Yeah, yeah, I love it. Well, stick around. We'll be right back, because we're going to dig into this juicy conversation that we have with Dr. Celeste Holbrook, and also celebratory. It was really awesome. So we'll be right back. Brad Crowell 14:01  Okay, now let's talk about Dr. Celeste Holbrook. PhD, right? Yeah, she's no joke. Dr. Celeste Holbrook is a sex educator with a PhD in health behaviors and a post grad emphasis in sexual behaviors. She helps women and couples overcome challenges, heal from shame, and create better, more fulfilling sex lives. Her new book, Missionary Position: A Slightly Orreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture, tackles the complex interaction of sex, religion and personal freedom. Celeste is known for her practical, down to earth approach that makes conversations about sex accessible and empowering and honestly, not awkward. But she's just really good at making it just, it's just a conversation. It doesn't have to be the silly thing. Some, for some reason it's like, it feels like we revert to sixth grade whenever this this conversation comes out, and it's like everyone like, hee-hee-hees in the corner. It's so weird, and it's and you might not be doing it out loud, but you're kind of cringing a little on the inside. She just takes that whole thing away and, like, you know, I mean, it was, it was, she's very matter of fact, matter of factly talking about having dildos in her social media posts, you know, like, oh, okay, yeah, there's that. But, but yeah. I mean, she's, she's not being like, risque or weird about her the conversation. She's specifically serving people who came from the culture that she did, which was, like, raised in a super, super strict religious home in purity culture. And so when she, when she got married, she for, like, it wasn't like, you can't just flip a switch, right? So she was like, sex is bad, sex is bad, sex is bad, sex is bad. And then she gets married, and all of a sudden, sex is good. Like, that's not how it works in the body. And she had to tackle that. Lesley Logan 15:43  Yeah, definitely listen to her first interview on the show, because it actually goes into that if and, and I think it's really interesting. I think, like, even if you weren't raised in a super like, if you, if I, if I say purity culture, and you don't think automatically. Brad Crowell 15:55  That doesn't mean anything to you, right. Lesley Logan 15:55  And you never had a ring on your finger that was turned one different way, and you were, like, betrothed to your father until, until someone's picked for you. Laugh. Had that ring, guys. Brad Crowell 16:07  Not laugh. It's like a, it's like a sardonic shudder. Lesley Logan 16:11  Oh, I know. Because, like, we thought that was normal. Brad Crowell 16:13  Totally thought it was normal. Lesley Logan 16:15  Did you read the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye? Brad Crowell 16:16  Yeah. Oh yeah. Josh, Josh something, right? Lesley Logan 16:17  Yeah. I think he's come out and said everything I taught was wrong. I'm almost positive one of the guys.Lesley Logan 16:19  He got a follow up book and then I think he got, like, ostracized from the churches. Lesley Logan 16:26  Yeah, one, one of the, one of the purity culture dudes, and I think it's kiss dating guy, goodbye guy has come out and said his book was extremely harmful, and he doesn't believe that anymore. Brad Crowell 16:36  Joshua Harris. Lesley Logan 16:37  Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so thank you, Josh for doing that. But like, for the women who are listening, if you have friends in your life, if you weren't raised like this, who literally were told that like that is the worst thing they could do is to as to at all make a man lust. If you did anything that can make a man lust, you were causing him to go to hell. So you are, like, doing everything you can to, like, not be, not be attractive, and not be feminine, and then you get married, and you're supposed to just be sexy and have sex and, like, make babies. And, you know, Dr. Celeste and many women, they actually go through this painful experience with sex. And maybe you don't have that, but also you don't actually know, and she talks a lot about communication. How do you want to feel like you were never taught that sex could be something that you could enjoy? A lot of women are taught, not taught that you can enjoy sex. Brad Crowell 17:23  I just went down the rabbit hole. He, 20 years after writing the book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Joshua Harris left the church he was pastoring, divorced his wife and made a document, a documentary about the repercussions of the book. Oh, I want to watch the documentary. It's called, I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Lesley Logan 17:47  Okay, well, we're watching that. That's tonight's show. The it's an eye and it's really interesting, because, like, I had a very interesting childhood where I there was definitely purity culture at the church, at the church camps I went to. My parents tried to do these things, and then also my parents would kick us out of the house so they could have sex. So, like, sex was a conversation that they had. My grandparents would talk about how they had sex a lot. So, like, I It's not like I I lived I knew that married couples had sex, right, so, but it's just the reason that I bring this up is I actually think a lot of women, whoa, you good? Brad Crowell 18:10  Sorry, I found it. Somebody pulled it off of YouTube. He doesn't have the rights to it, and so it was on YouTube for years. I'm still down the rabbit hole, y'all. This is (inaudible) online. I went to his own website, and I found a post, a blog post, from May, so two months ago, saying, I don't know why they pulled it off of YouTube. It used to be here. Here's a link to it. That was on a pirated website. I don't know how long it's going to be available, but you can still watch it. So, very interesting.Lesley Logan 18:54  Love him. Okay, we do need to get back to Dr. Celeste. Brad Crowell 18:54  Sorry, I'm focused. I'm in. Okay. Lesley Logan 18:57  So I, I just, I'm really obsessed with what Dr. Celeste is doing, because I just know too many women who, whether or not you had a ring and you're were married to, like, dating your dad, until you were dating someone else, you were not offered the opportunity to understand that you could feel good during sex. Like, that's just very few people. Some, some people had brilliant mothers who were like hippies and like, told about that that is not, that is not most of my friends' experience. So, so one of the things, so, get her book, okay, you'll get her book. So she said American society tends to view sex in binary extremes, but it's rather a more nuanced middle ground. And we've seen this. You can see this in social media today. Like, people don't think that sex and gender are two different things. They are. Like, so, like what you're what you're attracted to, and like the gender. All these there's there's differences, and it's not so black and white, and everyone wants to make it like this is how it is, where sex is often placed on either end of the spectrum, either don't think about it or don't talk about it until a certain age or a marriage. And then that makes it really difficult. Because you know, most of the things, like, when you're a little kid, everyone asks, like, what do you want to be when you grow up? So you have your whole life to change your mind. You're like, I'm gonna be a judge. I'll be this. And you get to, like, explore and take classes and to do that. And when you're in this country, most people, like, don't do sex, don't have sex, don't get pregnant. And girls are also taught it's your fault if you get pregnant and there's something wrong, like you did something wrong. Yeah, if you get pregnant.Brad Crowell 20:22  Well, your shoulder straps were too skinny, that's why you're pregnant. Lesley Logan 20:26  Yeah. And then all of a sudden, you're married. So now you should know, you should know how to do sex. You should know what, what to do, but no one let you talk about it. No one like, it's just a whole mess. It's a mess. It's a mess. So anyways, I really like, that's why she wrote her book. But she also explained, we are not binary people, as far as what we want to do in our sex life. And she said, like, she advocates living in the glittery middle, like, just like, you know, like, it doesn't have to, like, just because you liked it one way, at some point is like, another way. Brad Crowell 20:54  So, just so that, like, we like, when we say binary, I think what she's what she's saying there is, it's okay for sex to change over time. Because the conversation you were having is like, you know, sex is, is different at different stages of life, right? When you're, you know, in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 70s, like, it changes, right? And so that's I, you know, I think that makes, that makes sense.Lesley Logan 21:21  And she so, she advocates for that glittery middle and, like, also, you know, exploring and, and it's, I think what's interesting is, like, she is so open to, like, helping you figure out what you want. And I have some amazing, interesting friends in this world. I have one friend who, like, has a partner who's a sexual, has a partner that she dates, but they date someone else, and then she prefers to have one other one. And I'm like, like, the 12 year old me is like, oh my god, what the fuck are you doing? Like, that's so weird. And then, like, the person who's like, gone through some work, done a lot of reading, I'm like, that is very fascinating. I don't like looking at my calendar that much, and that sounds like way too many. Brad Crowell 22:03  It's a lot of scheduling. Lesley Logan 22:04  A lot of scheduling. It's also a lot of testing, it's a lot of things. But she looked at me and she's, like, 10 years? Like, are you bored? So like, you know, it's really funny how we all have a different thing and she and Dr. Celeste is just like, advocating for, like, live in your glittery middle, understand that you're what you're gonna want out of your sex life is gonna change, and that's okay, and that's there's nothing wrong with you as it changes. Like, just explore that. And so she basically said you could decide what is best for you, and that right there is like the opposite of what purity culture and dickhead people in this country want you to think. They don't want you to think it's what's best for you. They want you to think it's what's best for the dick headed man they think you should be married to. Anyways.Lesley Logan 22:05  Tell me more about how you feel. Lesley Logan 22:12  Fucking Christian coochie. That's never gonna leave my mind. Lesley Logan 22:36  Yeah. Like, what a woman hater. Gross.Lesley Logan 22:58  That's the interesting thing. Like, I think a lot of, I think a lot of people in that world just don't like women. But it's, anyways.Brad Crowell 23:05  Yeah. Well, I mean, I was gonna say as a comment to that, you know, how do you get to the point, like, the reason I made the comment at the beginning was that it was mostly about communication. Is because, if you have been with someone for a long time, what does it look like to have that conversation of, like, things are changing and shifting in your sex life, you know? How is that? What does that mean? And, like, you know, I'm not talking about like, like, promiscuity. It could be that, you know, but, but, but maybe it's just simple things like, hey, you know what? Like, I want to make it I want to change it up, you know. Like, let's change it up today, you know, whatever, and but the communication is where I think it gets awkward, and hopefully, you know, with your partner, you have the the type of relationship where you can just simply have a conversation about it. Lesley Logan 23:55  Also, I really, am I gonna take away your takeaway talking points? I really loved how she talked about the funny, like the faking the orgasm, is that in your section?Brad Crowell 24:05  My section, no, I was talking about how things changed over time. In fact, I even jumped ahead to it without realizing it myself. Fawning is really interesting, if you're not familiar with the definition. What is fawning?Lesley Logan 24:16  So essentially, like, there's flight, fright, fight, right? And I used to, when I studied biology, it was like, and fuck, like, some people, well, that's like, it's all part of the same part of your brain system. So that's kind of funny, but fawn is like, this, like, people-pleasing, or you've seen it in movies where the guy gets really mad and he hits her, and then she's like, oh, it's okay. Actually, that was my fault. I tripped into you. Like, they do this whole, you know, like, you're okay, everything's like, and acting like, really small and toss out like a little lamb, and then that makes a person, usually a man, like, calm down. Everything's fine. She talked about faking orgasms as a fawning response, as a people-pleasing response, and we talked, oh my, you guys have to listen to this, because she talked about, like, she believes in being honest, but also being kind. And we taught and like. Brad Crowell 25:03  She said there was a difference between honesty and full transparency. She said she doesn't believe in full transparency, but she does believe in honesty, and she said people can use full transparency as honesty and be cutting and hurtful, right? Lesley Logan 25:20  Because, like, because she also has, and this is an interesting thing. If you have been faking orgasms in your entire marriage, it's you can't always just blame your partner, because you never told them what it would take to please you, and so they're just doing what you have responded to in the past, you know? So it's a and I thought was really fascinating. So it's like, yes, be honest, like, hey, I would like to try something different that's no longer working for me. And so then it's not something that you're rejecting the other person or making them feel like shit, and you're also able to then start articulating what you want. And it does take practice. You're right. It's all about communication. It's such you guys have to go listen. If you have, you gotta listen, go, listen. Brad Crowell 26:00  Yeah. And just to wrap that up there, you know, as things change over time, she said, hey, we mature as humans. Why wouldn't our sex life mature too? And it's important to allow our sex life to mature as we mature. It's the most helpful thing that we can do for ourselves. So, you know, I just thought it was really a topic that nobody ever talks about that's really helpful. So, yeah, there's a lot of room to allow ourselves compassion to grow as we grow, right? And then, you know, and that's like.Lesley Logan 26:30  Oh, you guys, I mean, when you get older, when you get older, like, your bones get brittle. So, like, there's going to be some positions that neither person, no matter what your gender is and who you want to have sex with, can do, like, you're gonna have to start doing sideways sex, because, like, you could fucking break your pelvis or a hip. So, like, just start getting.Brad Crowell 26:49  You could break it while fucking is what you meant to say. Lesley Logan 26:52  Yeah, that too. But anyway, so just like, if, if this is a conversation that you are, like, already going, I don't know if I can have this. Read her book, follow her, because the more I do, the more I might able to go, oh, what an interesting thing that I haven't been able to articulate that was really helpful. Thanks so much, you know. So anyways.Brad Crowell 27:13  Yeah, well stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna dig into those Be It Action Items that we have with Dr. Celeste Holbrook. Brad Crowell 27:20  All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Dr. Celeste Holbrook? She said, hey, I've got a four-part guide, and you should use it. And she maps it out in detail in her book, but high level, it's the analyst, the assassin, the healer and the explorer. And I thought, this is kind of cool. And she said, she said, it's like the archetypal woman. So the analyst helps you understand, what are we actually carrying around? Is the are these mental bags full of shame, full of neglect, full of fear, right? And then the assassin is taking what the analyst has found. So this is like a progression, right? So it's not just like you're only stuck in one it seems like this is a progression. So the assassin then is taking what the analyst has found and is just slicing through it, like deconstructing, you know, the, in her case, she's specifically talking about purity culture, and, like, all the baggage that we're saddled with from that kind of a thing. And then after the assassin is the healer who facilitates, like, she helping regenerate ideas about sex through, like, education.Lesley Logan 28:34  Yeah, right. Re-education.Brad Crowell 28:36  Yeah, gentle re-education about what is sex and what's okay. And, you know, like, why do we have this guilt around sex and, like, what, like, why does that even like, there's just a lot of history that blows my mind. Finally, we have the explorer, like, you know where you've kind of, after you've gone through some healing, you're now, like, feeling more confident, more willingness to, you know, be like, explore having sex, right? And you know that could be with your partner, with yourself, or whatever, you know. So, yeah, it's an interesting, like, progression out of.Lesley Logan 29:11  I think it's a cool idea of a process, because it it if you think, oh, my god, I have to figure all this out, or you might hear about the explorer part and be like, what the I you can't even wrap your head around that. It's because you got to go through the process. Brad Crowell 29:23  Yeah, and I think it's great, because it really sets her up. Like, you know, she's she, she jokingly said a lot of my conversations are pretty boring, like, what? Because she's got clients, one-on-one, clients and, and it's not, they're not like, crazy, like, it's, it's not, it's not, like, telling, not story time. She's actually, you know, helping people go through the process that she created here. So it depends on what's, you know, part of the flow that you're in, you know, might just simply be analysis for a while, you know, and coming to terms with it. And then it won't be until you've come to terms with that you can move on to the next phase. And but what's great is that she has a process. And I think that's really cool. Lesley Logan 30:01  Yeah, she also has a couple other things for you, which is something you can repeat. She said to, free to repeat, I prioritize myself by allowing myself to go at my own pace. I prioritize myself by allowing myself to go at my own pace. I think that is so important, no matter what the topic is, no matter what you're trying to be it till you see, like, if you got nothing out of this episode but that affirmation, great. And she also, we've talked about her being like a slow reader and like her writing and all that stuff. And she, she really learned to prioritize herself and appreciate being considerate and slow and thoughtful. Like, that's actually her prioritizing herself by her, not quite I'm a slow reader, but instead going, I am a slow reader, so I am going to be considerate and slow and thoughtful. That's how I do things. Brad Crowell 30:47  Yeah and give myself the time and space to do that. Lesley Logan 30:49  I thought that was so cool. Like, what a, what an amazing way to prioritize yourself is to, like, do the things the way you you need to do them. Brad Crowell 31:00  Yeah and that's like, you know, across any element of life, it's not just, you know, around sex, so I think that's great.Lesley Logan 31:06  And then finally, she said, and this is for your sexual life, she said, where the goal for sexual choice is to be your decision, and not one manipulated by society or cultural values or religious values, and I think that is so important, because even if you aren't someone who is religious, but maybe your culture had a different kind of pressure, or a different way of seeing your body, or maybe you feel a different way with society. Your sexual life is your and choices are your decision, and not wanting to be manipulated by anybody else. So I think that's so important. I just fucking love her. I wish she lived closer. I want to have coffee with her all the time. Brad Crowell 31:43  Yeah, she was a lot of fun to listen to. And also her story about how her book came to be, what a roller coaster. That was, how cool that, you know, that you were a part of it. I think that's pretty neat. Lesley Logan 31:53  Honestly, honestly, like, this is like, you know, like, everything happens for a reason, like how we interviewed him two years ago. Jake. And I forget how Jake got to me. I actually. Brad Crowell 32:05  I think he was connected through. Lesley Logan 32:07  Somebody told no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's a Christian. Lori Harder friend, person, so somebody sent Jake to me. And then. Brad Crowell 32:16  Jake Kelfer. Lesley Logan 32:17  Yeah, and then, and then I watch Celeste stuff, but sometimes she ends up not in my feed because of algorithms. And that day, I just happened to not only watch, but like, actually turn, like, read the whole thing. And I was like, what's going on? I tap through. I watched every story, and I was and I was just like, call me, I got, so but, like, it's just like.Brad Crowell 32:36  Jake. Jake was interviewed on episode 202. Lesley Logan 32:38  But this is how you, you can't this is something for me too, we can't worry, oh my god, what if I missed out on this? Because, like I had I was meant to watch her stories on that day, like I was meant to, because it could have been so easy for me to not pick up my phone that day and not watch them. There was a reason why I opened my phone up and I watched her stories. I do not watch that many people's stories, and it was because I was supposed to see them and introduce her to Jake. That was my whole goal. That was, like, the universe working for her. Universe was like, okay, Celeste, we're going to make sure Lesley sees it, because Lesley knows Jake, and you need to know Jake. Boom, it's done. And, like, she had to write the book. I love it. I love it. I love you, Dr. Celeste Holbrook, I love the book. You guys, go get it. I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 33:22  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 33:23  Thank you so much for being you. Now. Go share this with a friend who needs to hear it, and go get her book. And go leave us a review, because we really appreciate that. And go be it till you see it.Brad Crowell 33:34  Yeah. And just one last time. Her book is called Missionary Position: A Slightly Irreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture. Lesley Logan 33:41  I love it so much. I love it so much. Brad Crowell 33:44  Bye for now.Lesley Logan 33:46  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 34:28  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 34:33  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 34:38  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 34:44  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 34:48  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this empowering conversation, Lesley Logan welcomes back sex educator Dr. Celeste Holbrook to talk about her new book Missionary Position: A Slightly Irreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture. Together they unpack healing from harmful narratives, navigating seasons of change in your sex life, and discovering the ‘glittery middle,' where you get to define pleasure, intimacy, and authenticity on your own terms.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:How to let your sex life evolve with every stage of life.The five-year journey and setbacks behind Celeste's debut book.The four archetypes for healing and reclaiming sexual agency.Why faking orgasms is a “fawn response” and how to break the cycle.The freedom of defining your own sexual ethic in the “glittery middle”.Episode References/Links:Dr. Celeste Holbrook's Website - www.drcelesteholbrook.comDr. Celeste Holbrook's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/drcelesteholbrookDr. Celeste Holbrook on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/DrCelesteHolbrookMissionary Position: A Slightly Irreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture by Dr. Celeste Holbrook - https://a.co/d/3UimUKxA Well-Trained Wife by Tia Levings - https://a.co/d/ibRaesYFourth Wing Series by Rebecca Yarros - https://a.co/d/7Qhgk2REp. 202: Jake Kelfer - https://beitpod.com/jakekelferEp. 265: Daniella Mestyanek Young - https://beitpod.com/daniellayoungGuest Bio:Dr. Celeste Holbrook is a sex educator, speaker, and small-town Texas horse girl who's on a mission to make conversations about sex less awkward and way more empowering. With a Ph.D. in Health Education from Texas Woman's University and a thriving virtual practice, Celeste helps people create lives filled with pleasure, connection, and confidence—starting in the bedroom. After years of struggling with pain and shame around sex, she set out to find answers no one else could give her—and ended up becoming the expert she needed. Today, she guides women toward pleasurable sex by helping them understand their bodies, claim their worth, and ask for what they want without apology. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Celeste Holbrook 0:00  Expecting your sex life to look the same when you are 20 and 30 and 50 and 70 is not helpful for you, and so allowing it to mature as you mature is the most helpful thing that you can do for yourself, I think, when when it comes to your sex life.Lesley Logan 0:19  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:02  Hey, Be It babe, okay, this might be the first guest that is coming on for a third appearance. I think she won. I could be wrong, but I think she won. Dr. Celeste Holbrook is back. She's back. We're gonna talk about a couple of things. We're gonna talk about sex, we're (inaudible) we're gonna talk about her book. We're gonna talk about the journey that one goes on to get their work out into this world. And so even if you are like, I don't want to talk about the sex part, like, well, we should talk about the sex part. That's actually what we should do. But I want you to hear this, because I think it's so easy to hear people on a podcast go, oh, it's so easy for them because they got on a podcast, like, it's so easy, and you don't hear all the doors that get shut all the time. And I also am excited for you to hear like there are people in this world who just want to help each other out, and I think we need evidence of that. And I'm super, super excited that I get to be a cheerleader for amazing humans in this world like that. When I think about my, like, genius zone or something like that. Like, sometimes I think it's that I just get to cheer on people who are doing hard things and go, I see you, and you're doing great. And I can't wait. I can't wait. So guys, I'm gonna stop this, because we're gonna get right into we get right into it. And if you have this is the first time you're hearing about Dr. Celeste Holbrook, I really encourage you to go back to the first two episodes we did together. Go do the oldest one, then the second one, because I think you'll get a full picture of everything. We talked about a lot of good stuff. So she's gonna change your life. All right, here she is. Lesley Logan 2:31  All right, all right. So you guys, we're just gonna get right into this episode. Dr. Celeste Holbrook is back. You guys, third time won't be the last time. I somehow have to have her on annually. I think, Celeste, can you tell everyone why you're back. Let's just get in. Let's just start there. Celeste Holbrook 2:46  Okay, so I'm so excited, I can't even, like, contain myself. So I'm back because I have a book out, and I have a book really, truly because of Lesley Logan, because I have tried to publish this book for so long with traditional publishing, and I just got closed door after closed door after closed door for a lot of different reasons, which maybe we do and don't go into, I don't know, but Lesley reached out to me and was like, Celeste, I have this company. They do professional publishing. They're really great, and I just latched onto it, and I did every single thing that they suggested, and it was such a beautiful experience. So the whole point of this is I have a book, and I have a book because of you, and I want to aggressively love you today for encouraging me to do this.Lesley Logan 3:38  I am taking all that love also like this podcast, is why you have it, because I met that guy, because I interviewed him. And I have to, like, I'm not even I'll have to go back to the archives to figure out how I got this person, but I interviewed him, and I'm like, I really like this person. Like, I think he's great. Like, I've written a book, and I would have loved his help. Then, because I met him and had him on the pod, we had three of our clients use him, so I got to see from different perspectives how it was so when, and here's the thing, you were always on my feed, like, the algorithm would always, like, send you, and I like, just love all your stuff. And then it, like, kind of stopped, because I don't know that's how the algorithm works. And I happened to look at your stories, it was your stories, I'm pretty sure, and you were sharing this thing. And I'm not normally someone who's like, let me go in on the six minutes of a story. But I was like, I'm procrastinating. I'm in and so I was like, wow, what perfect timing this was, because I could have easily missed that whole section. And so I just want to, I'm just so grateful for divine like, I think that, like, there's divine appointments and divine interventions in a non-church way, guys, but we're meant to be in each other's lives and this book. Okay, so I guess, in case people don't know who you are, maybe we should do a quick like, who are you? Because we have new listeners, right? Hi, new listeners. You're going to want to go back to the other two. We're going to link them in the show notes. But can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at? Celeste Holbrook 4:57  Yes, absolutely. So my name is Dr. Celeste Holbrook, I am a sex educator, and I have a PhD in health behaviors with a postgraduate emphasis in sexual behaviors. So I help people, a lot of women and lots of couples, figure out how to make sex better, whether that is they are experiencing pain or they're experiencing shame from growing up in like, ultra religious household, or they just need, like, some help through menopause or through after having a baby or things like that. So I am your very practical sexual health help. That's what I do. Lesley Logan 5:38  I love it the practical because, you know, like, I will say, having lived in L.A. and going to different sex shops, you don't look like the person who works the sex shop. Celeste Holbrook 5:48  No, no. Lesley Logan 5:50  Not to like, like to stereotype. But there's a, there would be a type that, like, works at the sex shop, and it's not you.Celeste Holbrook 5:56  Yeah, no, it's not me. And I just want to be super accessible, because not everybody wants to, like, swing from the chandeliers all the time. You know, a lot of people are out there just struggling to find the time to connect. Like, I cannot tell you how many times I have had a conversation about what to do with the dog in your bedroom when you want to have sex so the dog's not looking over at you or jumping on the bed, or, like, these are the practical applications that we are talking about in sex education in my consult sessions.Lesley Logan 6:27  Yeah, well, and because, because I think everyone's just so overwhelmed, like I saw something, and someone's stories, and they're like, went to their friend, their niece's like, soccer game, and she's like, looking around just like, no wonder no one's having sex. Like everybody is at the soccer game and they're exhausted, and then get the soccer game they're fighting about to do or you forgot the thing. Like, no, no answer. But nobody wants to have sex after this. Celeste Holbrook 6:53  No, no. Why would you want to have sex after that? Exactly right. That's exactly right, yep. Lesley Logan 6:59  So, so I want to touch on, like, there's a lot of different chapters, and maybe this is something that your book covers, but like, there's, you know, I think when we're younger and like, it feels like it's easier to do things, maybe, and then you get older, and like, there's more responsibilities and there's more stuff to think about. And like, it becomes something that goes away, and then your hormones change. So, in your book, do you cover, like, the journeys that were all going on, or is it more specifically for people from the purity culture, like, what? What were you excited to write about?Celeste Holbrook 7:30  Sure. So the book is called, I have the manuscript and printed out right here. It's called Missionary Position: A Slightly Irreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture. So I do take the approach of, like you growing up in a purity culture background, in, like, a high demand religion background, evangelical culture, things like that. But the book is in four parts. So like a four-part guide to basically healing, and you can apply these steps to any issue you are having in sex. So, yes, I do talk quite a bit about the effects of purity culture and how to overcome those effects. But it can, you can apply it to, you know, the trauma you had from a sexual assault. You can apply it to just the doldrums of being married to the same old penis for like, 20 years or whatever, you know, like you can apply these steps to anybody. So basically, there's four steps, and I have made them into archetypal women. So your first step is your analyst. She's like, the nerd she's looking at, like, okay, what are we carrying around? What does your backpack look like that you're carrying around? Is it full of shame? Is it full of neglect? Is it full of fear? Like she's the analyst. Your second archetypal woman is your assassin. She's she is taking what the analyst has found, and she is just like, slicing through it, right? She's your assassin. She's your inner assasin. She's your deconstruction, basically. Your third archetypal woman is your healer. So after you've done the work of understanding what's in your backpack, slicing out what needs to go, then your healer starts helping you regenerate your ideas about sex through a gentle reeducation. So we're relearning about some things that maybe we have always thought one way about. Maybe we're relearning about the idea of virginity. We're relearning the I about masturbation. We're relearning about what great sex is, right? The healer is our gentle reeducation, and then our fourth archetypal women woman is our explorer, and she's like, gonna try some new things. She's gonna go to the sex toy store, she's going to touch herself in a new way, and maybe, if that's too much, maybe she's gonna try sex with the lights on, right. And so these are the four women. They represent four steps, and within each step there are some really practical things that you can do to help move you to the next step. So you can apply this to any issue you're having in sex, and get to the other side where you're trying, you're you're now exploring, you're trying new things.Lesley Logan 10:12  I that's a way. I mean, well, like an archetype. I like that. And I've, you've been on my mind a lot lately, because society is quite interesting right now, like the trad wife situation. I'm like, that looks really beautiful. Like, I would love, like, I have white countertops. I'd love them to clean all the time. I'm certainly not capable of doing it. But I'm like, I don't know that. I think they're doing a really good job marketing a beautiful esthetic without realizing, like, all the stuff that comes with that, you know, like, all the religious stuff that comes with that, and how that can harm how we feel about our bodies. And I, I like, was raised in purity culture, and I didn't think it affected me. I'm like, I'm good. But actually, no, actually, I remember, like, I remember, oh, it does, because you're like, you think that you're like, oh, I'm on that. I'm that doesn't affect that like you, you start to realize, even if you weren't raised in church, just the way that public school systems have appropriated some of the modesty rules, like what you're told, what you can wear to school and and how thick this the tank top strap can be, and you can't be disruptive, even though the boys' pants are halfway down their legs, and I'm looking at underwear all the time. You know, I think that even for people who weren't raised where they're told, like, your father has you until you're given away to someone else, there is some level where all of us were affected by like, don't be a distraction. Don't, make sure you don't wear that so you don't look like a certain like you're not attracting bad people, you know, that kind of a thing.Celeste Holbrook 11:44  Yeah, I totally agree, Lesley. I think that there's very few people in the United States that have a great, comprehensive, inclusive sex education. I think very few of us. I think this is changing, and hopefully with, you know, recycle breaking next and next generations, but American society in general wants to put sex on either end of a spectrum. We want to either like, don't think about it. Don't talk about it. This is not for you until you are reaching a certain age or marriage or whatever, and then on the other side is like, why aren't you liberated enough to have all to do all these things you know, like, so there's these two, like, ends of the spectrum, and all of us really live in the middle. Yeah, none of us is really on either side at all, but we but it like breaks America's brain to try and think about, like, living outside of one of those two spectrums. So I talk about in the book about the non, about the non-binary. We are not binary people. As far as what we want to do in our sex life, and figuring out, how do you live in the middle area, which we often call gray, but I call glitter. Yes, it's the most fabulous place to live is in the middle, in this glittery middle, where you get to define your own sex ethic based on your value system, on your intuition, on your sex education, and you get to decide what works best for you. And maybe that is boundaries around when you have sex awesome, as long as it's your choice that's amazing. And maybe that is opening your relationship up and trying swinging or whatever it is that's awesome as long as it's your decision and not one manipulated by society or cultural values or religious values.Lesley Logan 13:27  Yeah, I think that's, I think I like to think about that even this thing, it's, you're right, it's America, it's people like, I'm in Pilates industry. And I said something the other day where I was like, well, you can say that, but it doesn't like, there's also the idea that we could prepare people for an exercise, right? And this person, like, went off on me, and I was like, so you need to understand that what you're mad about me is what you're doing here. Second, Pilates is not black or white. It's not this or that. It's a lot of gray. It's a lot of glitter, like glitter. It's like, because our bodies are different and where we are in our practice, where we are in our life, maybe what season we're in, maybe you're in a season of young children, it's going to be very different what you're wanting and ready for, and have the capacity to take on versus they're teenagers and out of the house and really don't care where you are versus you don't have kids at all. Like, there's all these different seasons. And I think we are like, oh, this is how I've always liked it, so this is how I have to keep liking it. Celeste Holbrook 14:25  Yes, yes, that's so wise, Lesley, that's so wise. I think there are a lot of and we talked about this in our last on our last podcast together, a lot of the similarities between what happens in sex and what happens in like a Pilates, a workout space or Pilates space, as far as how we view our bodies and what we feel is like, right, or what we feel is appropriate, I guess, for our bodies like I should be wanting this, because that's what I did when I was 27 or I should be looking like this, because that's what I looked like when I was whatever, 30 or whatever. And I think there's lots of room to allow ourselves compassion to grow as we grow in our sex life, in our workouts and whatever, expecting your sex life to look the same when you are 20 and 30 and 50 and 70 is not helpful for you, and so allowing it to mature as you mature is the most helpful thing that you can do for yourself, I think, when, when it comes to your sex life. Lesley Logan 15:28  Yeah, we'll keep talking about this, it'll come up. But I do, I do want to go back to like, the journey of this book, because this book has been in you for a really long time. And I think whether or not people want to write a book, you can insert goal, whatever your goal is, because you we will all in trying to get something out into the world or get something that we desire done, hit roadblocks. So you hit some roadblocks. Can we talk about, how many years of roadblocks? Can we talk about what you like, what kind of roadblocks you were hitting and, like, how did you keep going? Because quite honestly, I'm surprised you even told the story, you know what I mean, like, I'm surprised you didn't go, okay, well, that's that, the door, the door has been slammed shut.Celeste Holbrook 16:12  Yeah, yeah. And I really appreciate you asking this, because I know sex is really fun to talk about, but this is, like, my personal, like, lifelong dream is to have a book, and it feels really, I feel really seen when you ask about the process of it, and when I think about the be it, you know, be it till you see it, bold, executable. I think I'm getting this right, intrinsic, targeted, so I think about my word for this year was bold. So that was like, my like, I gotta be more bold. I want to say what I want to say. I don't want to be making myself smaller anymore. So the story behind the book, I have always thought about writing a book. I myself am a slow reader. I don't read very fast, and I for a long, long time I thought I was dumb because I don't read very fast, which is silly when I think about it now, but all growing up, I was slower than all of my friends reading. It was frustrating to read. And I've just, I like, I was still a good student. I still did all of the things that I needed to do, but I just, I just took time. I just took more time to write, to read all of those things, and I think in part, that's what made me get a PhD, because I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't dumb. Turns out, I'm not dumb. I just am. I need to go at my own pace. And so one of the things that you talk about a lot on the podcast is like, how do you prioritize yourself? I prioritize myself by allowing myself to go at my own pace, like I can read as slow as I need to read, I can answer emails as slow as I need to answer emails. It's frustrating to me and other people, but at the end of the day, like it, it's honestly who I am. I'm just considerate and slow and thoughtful, and I've learned to like that about myself instead of hate that about myself. So the idea of writing a book was really, like tantalizing to me, but I had a lot of insecurities about my ability to actually do it. I'd written a dissertation, which is I, in my opinion, harder because it's boring. Lesley Logan 18:19  Yeah, yeah, no, that's one of the reasons why I, like, stopped going to school. I was like, I can't write another boring paper.Celeste Holbrook 18:25  Oh, my God. Like, who's reading? Like, my mom didn't even read it. She's like, oh, congratulations. It's like, collecting dust, right? So I had done that, and so I thought, like, well, if I'd written a dissertation, it just take you just take a chunk at a time. I can surely write a book. So in 2000 and let's see 2016, Nate and I was like, Nate, I really want to write a book. I'm going to go to a writer's conference. So he's like, great, let's go. I was like, found one in Hawaii. He's like, even better, let's go.Lesley Logan 18:55  I love, I love when a goal and a tax write off can be in a place you want to go. Celeste Holbrook 19:01  That's right, that's exactly right. We ended up getting a tent. There's like, these glamping tents on Maui that you can get, and it's just, like, really fun. It's like, on the beach, but you still have, like, sort of a bathroom, you know. But so we're, like, we needed to do it on cheap, because we were kind of broke, like, got these glamping tents, and I went to these writers conference during the day, and Nate did whatever during the day was at this writing conference, and it was through Hay House, and there was a contest. So if you went to the writers conference and you wrote a proposal, you could enter it in, and they were going to pick three writers to to give a book deal to, I would, and this is me being so sure of myself. Like, yes, I've spent a lot of time feeling insecure that about my reading and writing. But for the most part, my whole life, I have been, like, with no good reason, confident. Like, I'm just like, I don't know, confident.Lesley Logan 19:53  Yeah. I mean, that's cool. That's a great that's so many people don't inherently have that. I. And like to kind of have that and then use it is a wonderful, it's a wonderful thing. Celeste Holbrook 20:06  Yeah, I just, I just was like, no, I'm gonna get this, you know, I'm gonna write this proposal. People are gonna love it. I'm gonna get this competition. Anyway, long story short, did not win any (inaudible). Lesley Logan 20:16  Oh, I thought this was going towards you won. Oh, my God, she won. It. (inaudible) second look. I automatically just assumed you're gonna slay. So I'm just like, she won.Celeste Holbrook 20:32  This is about closed doors, Lesley. Lesley Logan 20:34  Okay, that's true. That's true. Celeste Holbrook 20:36  Yes. So I did not win. I was for sure I was gonna win, did not win, not even, like, a hello, right? So I was like, oh, maybe I need to work a little harder. So I had this whole proposal. My book was like, looking back, I'm like, I'm so glad that I didn't win. My book was called Sexual Wealth. Lesley Logan 20:54  Oh, yeah, that's that's not you.Celeste Holbrook 20:57  It's not me. I was like, it was like, sex through finance, bro language or something. And I was just like, this is a terrible idea, but the spark was there, like, I really wanted to write a book. So that was 2016 I kind of held onto it, thought about it, kind of put it in a drawer for a while. In 2019 I got on a fairly large podcast with Jen Hatmaker, so she's an author, and she does a lot of work in, like the ex-evangelical space, or had started down that road. So I got on this podcast through just like pitching. I got on this podcast. It's pretty big, big podcast. And not long after that, a person from HarperCollins, like a division of Harper Collins, reached out to me and said, hey, have you ever considered writing a book? So the publisher reached out to me, which is very unusual. Lesley Logan 21:47  That is cool, though. Yes. Celeste Holbrook 21:49  Yeah, yeah, very unusual. Usually, you are pitching to publishers. So they heard me on the podcast, and they were like, hey, you know, we're interested in you submitting a proposal. I'm like, I'm freaking out. Like, this is so exciting, right? I realize I probably need representation, so I get a literary agent. I kind of shop around and get a literary agent. She's amazing, Rochelle, and I end up pitching my proposal. I worked it out, you know, I update it from sexual wealth to something else. I update it, I pitch it, and they're pretty slow. The publishing industry is so slow, you know this, you know this, so slow. Lesley Logan 22:24  I have watched too many of my friends write books. I'm so great. I'm proud of all of them. But also the ones that have gone traditional publishing, it is slow, like molasses moves faster, you guys. That's, you know, like, just don't bet on don't hold your breath.Celeste Holbrook 22:40  Oh my gosh, it's the slowest process of all time. And so I was like, okay, I, you know, they reached out to me. So I'm here in my very confident space, like, oh no, they're gonna laugh. Yeah, they're gonna choose. They reached out to me. Why wouldn't they choose me? At this point, I have like, 1500 followers. I have, like, I have no platform, right? I still have a very small platform, but a bunch of really engaged, lovely humans. So I'm, I'm fairly sure they're going to choose me. Eventually, months and months and months later, they get back to me and they're like, yes, we want it is literally like, I don't know, six months later, they're like, we want to offer you a contract, and we want to go under contract, just small. It's a $20,000 contract. They're gonna pay me 10,000 upfront, and then 10,000 the book publishes. I was like, great, I have to pay out my agent too. So I'm I'm coming home with like, $8,500. I was like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. Just to get one dime to like (inaudible).Lesley Logan 23:36  I mean that you got anything, because it's not, it's not always normal that even a first time writer gets anything until the book sells. So, yeah.Celeste Holbrook 23:44  Yes. So I was thrilled. I was thrilled. So I started writing my little heart out. They don't actually give me anything, a contract or anything, until my my my first draft is due. So I turned in my first draft and then they signed me. So I write the whole book without a contract. So submit the first draft. This is like March of 2020, so keep that in, put to context. Things that are. Lesley Logan 24:08  Things are things are going on. Celeste Holbrook 24:10  Things are going on. What's happening? So I get my first round of edits back. I'm still super excited. And then in July, my agent calls me, and she's like, I hate to have this conversation with you, but your book has been orphaned. Your editor left the company, and nobody else wants to pick it up. Lesley Logan 24:32  No, no. Celeste Holbrook 24:35  Yeah. So this is like, in the big scheme of things, like, it was the way it needed to work out, because they were already giving me feedback. It was the (inaudible) the imprint. And I'm not trying to slander any publishing industry, but this is just what happened to me, right? I was getting feedback of, like, oh, I don't know if you should, like, go that hard. Or I don't know if you should. You might alienate readers. If you talk about religion in this way, or, you know, this is you're gonna lose your Catholic audience. I'm like, I'm not trying to make the Catholics happy. I'm sorry. Lesley Logan 25:12  Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I interviewed, I don't know if it was in my interview, but when I was talking with Daniella Mestyanek Young who wrote Uncultured, she was only allowed to talk about three sexual like, misconduct, things that happened to her, and not even the worst ones. They actually, like, got rid, yes, yeah, they were like, and you can only talk like they she had to. And she's been very vocal about it. She's like, because she was talking about God and all these things and like, like, yeah, you can't really talk about that. And then she was like, you know, saying that she got raped in military. And they're like, so we don't like, maybe we just do only one of those, like, very and so, and she was with a publisher, and she got published, but she it's a watered down version of her story, because apparently readers wouldn't be able to handle the true thing. And it's like, you know, like, we're, how are we supposed to change the world? We don't know what's going on. So anyways, yeah. Celeste Holbrook 26:02  Yeah, I and I heard, I heard that kind of from different places, like, oh yeah. I had to, like, say this instead of that or whatever. And I'm like, yeah, that's a little bit happening to me. And I had written it with the understanding, like, this is for a still Christian audience. I understood this, it was with a Christian publisher. So I'm like, that's fine. Like, as a sex educator, you have to be able to be fluid enough to write to the audience that's in front of you. Like, when I go speak, sometimes I'm in front of really conservative audiences, and I adapt my language. That's fine. Like, that's okay to do. I'm still, I still feel helpful. I still feel like I'm pushing the envelope, but in a way that feels the most accessible for the audience in front of me. So I'm okay adjusting, but also like I didn't, I didn't want to water it down so much that I felt like it wasn't me. Lesley Logan 26:51  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Celeste Holbrook 26:53  So anyway, lost my contract in July 1st of 2020, which was and that whole thing, the whole next two years was really difficult. My husband is an emergency medicine physician and it was just a real hard time in the family, family. Lesley Logan 27:09  Yeah, no, lots, lots going on, lots of stress, lots of worry, lots. Yeah, you're afraid, yeah, you know. So like, you know. So we live where we live, and not everyone believe we're going through certain things. So that's even more stressful. Yeah. Oh, my God, that's a lot. The book, the book hit a wall.Celeste Holbrook 27:26  It hit it hit a wall, and probably had to find time. But I was, I was really, just really sad. Rochelle, my agent, was like, okay, we're just gonna, like, pick it back up. We have this proposal, we have a book written. It's, it'll be easier for another publisher to pick us up. And so we start, like, pitching to these other publishing companies. She has all these connections, you know, she's pitching, pitching, pitching, nothing's landing. I'm getting good feedback back. Like, you know, your platform's too small. That's fair. I started trying to grow it. You know, that's when Instagram was a little easier to grow. Now it's super hard to grow. But started growing it. I went from 1500 to 20,000 you know. Lesley Logan 28:04  That's a big deal, because other 20,000 like, those are not bought, you know, like, yeah.Celeste Holbrook 28:09  No, yeah. And I'm a hard follow. I get that. I have, like, you know, dildos in my videos. Like, I get that I'm not an easy follow. It's not and I'm, you know, Shadow banned all the time, and I get all these notifications that my stuff is not being shown to new audiences. I get that. I get that I'm a hard follow, but that's what publishers want. They want you to have a ready-to-buy platform, which I get. They're trying to make money. But I got a lot of that feedback. I got a lot of, ooh, this is a little it's a little too much for us as a Christian publisher. Like, okay, I get that. And then it was kind of like this line for non, non-Christian publishers, like, we don't really, we don't really talk about religion that much, and then we're not really talking about sex that much.Lesley Logan 29:00  Right? So you're like, too much of the different things for the different people, that's really rough, because it's like, we'll never be everything for anyone, but to not feel like you fit somewhere when you have something to say, that's hard.Celeste Holbrook 29:13  Yeah, yeah, it is really hard. And I think it's what people needed. It's because it's, again, it's the glitter, it's the middle. Like, yeah, I don't fit into either of these spaces. I'm kind of like exploring the middle, right? So that was the feedback I was getting. And finally, we did that for five years, from 2020 to 2025 October of 2025 Rochelle had a call with me, and she's like, honey, I have nowhere else to go. I'm sorry. This has to be the end of it. Bless her. She she did the best that she had, and I am forever grateful for her. But that was it, and that was that's where we're caught up to, where you saw my story, and I was like, just sharing with my audience like I had an unhappy ending, and I'm gonna sit in my sadness right now and just tell you, like life isn't always hunky dory for a sex educator, for anybody, for you for me, and this is where I am right now, and I'm pissed and I'm sad, and the end, right? And then sweet Lesley shows up in my DMs, and she's like, babe, I have this great idea for you. I'm like, okay, so she you send me this information for this company I have a call with, I think Jake who you interviewed. Lesley Logan 30:19  Yeah, Jake Kelfer. Yep, yep, yep. Celeste Holbrook 30:21  I have a call with Jake, and let me tell you, working with them has been and I'm not getting paid for any of this right to for BIB, but working with them has been so healing, so much agency in the process. I got to say exactly what I wanted to say. I got to go at the pace that I wanted to go, like, it was just incredible. Lesley Logan 30:44  So is this book, like a new book? It's not what you're pitching around. It's the glitter you really wanted to write. Celeste Holbrook 30:51  It's the glitter I really wanted to write. Totally different. Yeah.Lesley Logan 30:54  Yes, oh, I love that. And also, like, so, first of all, you guys, did you hear five years? Five years and now we're going on, you know, like, so, yeah, five years and then now big. But here's the other thing, like going through all of those things, you got feedback and made tweaks and did these things. So then when you're writing the book that we're gonna all get to read, I can't even wait to read it. It's the best version of a book that could ever be, because it's really not your first book you've written so manyCeleste Holbrook 31:24  You're so right. And over the course of the years, I changed, as we should. I hope I look back in five years and go like, yeah, I'm a different, new person from who wrote this book. But I was different, and I was more comfortable, like, straight up saying I'm not a Christian anymore. You know, I was more comfortable saying, like, is this a religious book? Yes, because we talk about religion. Do I identify as Christian? No, because of these reasons. Do I think we could learn some stuff from the Bible? Sure. Do I think we're going to talk about the Bible? Yes. I think we have to, because we're talking about purity culture. But I don't, you know, certainly not in 2020 was I willing to be like, yeah, I'm not a Christian, but so much stuff happened between 2020 and 2025, that just took me right on out.Lesley Logan 32:10  Yeah, yeah, no, I hear you on that. I and, you know, like, I have a brother in seminary school, so it's very interesting around here. And I had just said, you know, if, if, the if, all the Christians in the world actually did what Jesus said, like, we would have solved child child poverty and immigration and health care. And, you know, I've had a family member respond, well, if everyone just came to know, and I'm like, no, no, no, that's actually not what the Bible says. Here's the problem, I've read it so like I where I am in my life, which five years ago I was definitely not. Is just like I'm frustrated that a book, any book, has controlled people in such a way that's affecting even their sex lives, but also just lives, the lives of people who didn't even read the book. And so that's where, like, I get upset we don't have to have religious talk on this podcast. But that's that's just where, like, I'm coming from as a person with it. I'm, like, I have a really hard time with it, because it's not a loving world, and it with all the people who say they are, you know, believers. It should be. It should be a very loving world. So, so I think it's really I love. Thank you for sharing the story. This is great.Celeste Holbrook 33:30  Yeah, I totally. I just want to affirm what you're saying. Because I think the the main bottom line for me was it has harmed more than it has helped. Has it helped? Absolutely, there's some really beautiful ways in which Christianity has helped, but has it harmed more than it has helped? I absolutely believe, yes. And so for me, that was the final straw. Do I think Jesus was cool? Yeah. I think He was a radical non-white dude who did really amazing things that we can learn from, right? I believe he saved me from my sins. Not really, but, yeah, that's where I landed. And I was able to say this in in this book, which I would never have been able to do before. Lesley Logan 34:09  Well, also, thank you for sharing it with us, because I also just someone like to see it's a really interesting thing to say, like my husband and I, like go like to say out loud, it's very I don't want to speak for him, because, like, maybe it was a different but, like, it's really hard to say out loud when you're like, I don't believe anymore, and you're like, you know?Celeste Holbrook 34:29  Right, it feels really weird. Lesley Logan 34:31  Yeah, it does. But because it's such an identity that you're raised with, and I think going back to, like, that purity culture that your book is about, and by the way, everyone, like, I just want to say, like, even if you haven't been in that, it's, I think that reading about those things really helps me. It makes it helps make the world make sense to me. Like, I read Tia Levings book, A Well-Trained Wife, and I was like, oh, I get it now. I get why they're acting like this. I get why they're thinking this. Because, like, otherwise, you're like looking at people like they're aliens, and you're like, I don't understand. So I also think it can be really impactful to read just to understand, what are people thinking? What are they going through? Why is it harder for some people to have great sex, or want to have great sex, or feel comfortable having great sex, than for other people? Celeste Holbrook 35:18  Yeah, I totally agree with you. It's so fun, interesting. Most of couples that I talk to, most of them are straight couples, heterosexual couples, and a lot of times, the woman in the partnership will, you know, talk about sex in one way, and the man in the partnership will talk about sex in a different way. And just like, I just don't get it. If it feels good, why wouldn't you want to do it? And so when we kind of like, deconstruct and explain, like, well, she's been taught that sex is dangerous her whole life, and so her nervous system feels on alert, even when there are good things in the future to come with that sexual experience. So to have to overcome this idea of fear and danger in your nervous system, just to get to the beginning of arousal is a whole different ball game than you who starts at arousal, and because it feels very regulating, like, I lean into arousal because it feels regulating as a straight man who's raised in America, and so like, just being able to, like, if you're a dude who picks up this book, It might help you understand the women in your life a little bit better, even if they didn't grow up in purity culture. Most of us grew up with the idea that sex is going to harm us. Lesley Logan 36:28  Yeah, yes. Well, I mean, like, yeah, it's like, even if you weren't raised that way, you also, as a woman, were raised like, be fearful of any bad any man who's coming near you, walking up next to you, like, all these different things. And so it is very difficult to just like, let that go. It's not like, it's like, oh, it's Halloween. I can get Todd Kenny from a stranger now, like, this doesn't work like that. You know, like especially because it's like, your whole life these just little things that are being told. I think that's great for men to read. I think that's such a that's a, what a wonderful way to think about it, who this book could be helpful for? I want to take a brief detour, because you said something on your Instagram a bit ago that truly, like, blew my mind and also made so much sense, right? You said, if you're faking an orgasm, you're fawning, right? It's a fawn response. So can we talk about what a fawn response is? And that a little bit, because I think too many women do that. I only say that because I have friends who talk about it and I'm like, I mean, I just wouldn't just would be like, it's not working today, sir.Celeste Holbrook 37:38  Yes, yeah. I mean, I've done it when I was experiencing really painful sex when I first got married, because of vaginismus, because of purity culture, like I did anything to try and get out of the situation, right? So, so a fawn response is something that we do in response to something traumatic. When something traumatic happens, we go into fight, flight, freeze or on. So fawn is I'm pleasing you know this, this circumstance or person in my life, so there are no negative consequences, all right. So when we fake orgasms, and a lot of women have a lot of guilt around doing this, and this is why I posted that, because I want you to feel not guilty about this. I don't want you to do it forever, but I want you to understand why you're doing this. We fawn response an orgasm when we feel overwhelming pressure to have an orgasm when we feel overwhelming pressure to have an orgasm, it's coming from a fragile man who cannot handle or has put too much value on your ability to come as a validation for his ability to be great, right? I put too much pressure on your ability to be to come is a validation of my ability to be good or great. So part of the work has to become men saying like my validation is not wrapped up in her ability to come, without saying, I still can't give her pleasure. It's kind of, it's, it's, it's nuanced, but I really want women to understand when you're fawning, when you're faking an orgasm, you are essentially doing harm reduction. I don't want the negative consequences of his fragility, so I will fake it so I don't have to deal with that. That is easier for me. That is harm reduction.Lesley Logan 39:47  Right, right, right. And one would hope that a conversation or few could be had, like, here's what's going on and here's how I don't want you to feel and here like, yeah, that's probably where you come in. Celeste Holbrook 40:01  Yes, yeah. It's a really delicate situation. I do have lots of times people come in and the female, the woman in the partnership, will be like, hey, you know, this is what's going on, and this is why I want us together to come but to sessions, but like, I don't know how to tell him, like, it's been years and I've been faking it for years, right? Okay, no problem. We don't have to. I don't believe full transparency is always kind. I believe in honesty. I don't necessarily believe in full transparency. Like, you can, you can be really unkind with full transparency, but you can still be honest. Like, hey, I really want to experience a little bit more sensation when we have sex. Can we work on some new techniques? Can I show you how I masturbate? Can we make it slower so I can feel something different? I really want to make my orgasm stronger, right? So we can be clear with what we want going forward without being like, you know what? I faked it for the last 12 years, right? Because that's on you for not for not saying something as well. Lesley Logan 41:08  Yeah? Because that doesn't like, it can only be, it's not anyone's fault. But also, like, they can't change if they don't know, yeah. Oh, you're so brilliant. You're so amazing. Wait, when is the book coming out? When do I get to read it? When can I preorder, like.Celeste Holbrook 41:23  You are so cute. So it'll by the time this drops, it'll already be out, and we'll send links to to upload it, but it comes out on June 10th and so it's right around the corner. Lesley Logan 41:32  Okay, well, I'm gonna pre I'm gonna pre order. I gotta or I'll order on June 10th. So we can make you a number one, Bestselling Author. We get whatever we get to do, so I can write my authenticated review. After buying it, all the things I can't wait. I'll take it with me on tour.Celeste Holbrook 41:49  Thank you. I'm so like, I just like, I'm cheesing so hard because I'm so excited about it. I reread it again this morning, just like as a skim to look at all the layout on the pages. And I'm just so proud of it. I'm so proud of it, like it finally is here.Lesley Logan 42:07  I have so many chills. I'm gonna cry. Okay, we're gonna take a brief break. We're gonna find out how people can find you, follow you and work with you. Celeste Holbrook 42:14  Okay. Lesley Logan 42:15  All right, Dr. Celeste Holbrook, where do you hang out? You said Instagram. Is there anywhere else? What links? What input handles? Where can they go to buy the book is it on your website, all the things.Celeste Holbrook 42:25  Yes, the book is on the website, but you can buy it the most easily on Amazon. If you do, please leave a review that would be really helpful. And you can go to my website to get into Pleasure Club. That's my monthly subscription where we have a sex ed session every month and a book club session every month we flip between fiction and nonfiction books, which is really, really fun. Lesley Logan 42:44  Oh, fun. I know Brad and I got into the, of course, like everybody in the world, we got into the the dragon situation, yeah. Okay, every. Celeste Holbrook 42:52  Fourth wing? Lesley Logan 42:53  Yeah, yes. Fourth wing, the second one, the third one. You guys, we actually reread the first and second one to listen to the third one, we're going to go back through all three. Highly recommend it with your, with your partner. I think it's a great she writes good sex stories. They don't it's not super cheesy. So I really like them. Celeste Holbrook 43:13  I love that. I think this revolution. I mean, people have been reading Roman ensembles forever, but I think it's really healing. I actually wrote about this in my newsletter this week. Reading sex scenes through a female lens is really, really healing and really helpful, because it it gives you the confidence to be like, oh, I can ask for that, or I can wait for that, or I can ask to slow down or speed up, or whatever, and I can expect somebody to listen and garner consent and all of those things. So reading sex scenes through the female lens or listening to them, I think, is very, very helpful. Celeste Holbrook 43:46  Yeah, yeah. Anyways, I got distracted from your book club. So what's your website again? What's your handle? Celeste Holbrook 43:53  So you can find me at Dr. Celeste Holbrook on Instagram, on and on YouTube, and my web, my website. drcelesteholbrook.com. I just had like a whole mind blowing, like I was thinking about sex scenes written through the female Iens and I couldn't I couldn't go back. Yeah.? So, drcelesteholdbrook is where you can find me almost anywhere. Dr Celeste Holbrook. Lesley Logan 44:14  Perfect, yeah. Sorry, I have an ADHD brain. Lesley Logan 44:16  I love it. I love it. Lesley Logan 44:18  Bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us this time? Celeste Holbrook 44:23  Oh, well, something we talked about already earlier. But the way that I am best executable is actually just to go at my own pace, even though it's slow.Lesley Logan 44:32  Yeah. Oh, I love that. I really do love that. And I also, you mentioned, like, the prioritizing of self. That's one of the ways you did it. I wanted to acknowledge like when you sat in your car and you shared that something had come to an end, that is also a way of prioritizing yourself, because you're feeling your feelings, and you're also letting people know that you're feeling these feelings, like we don't have to, like pretend around people, so just thank you for being you, and always for, you are always in the word gets misused, but you are so authentic and so authentic and just, I really feel like I've it's been so fun over the past five years to watch you grow with what you're doing and how you're educating people and how you're supporting people. And so I'm just so grateful to be on your journey. I can't wait to read your book. I'm so stoked for you. This is the coolest thing. And and you guys, how are you gonna use these tips in your life? Please tag Dr. Celeste Holbrook, send this to a friend. Here is the deal, not all friendships talk about sex, so one of the things you can do is just send the podcast or the book. You don't have to have the if you're not there yet, that's okay. But I think like, the more, the more women hear about all these different things that could be glitter, the more life we're living and the more fun we're having, the more we feel seen. So just thank you so much for being you, Dr. Celeste Holbrook.Celeste Holbrook 45:53  Lesley, you are the reason this book exists. I cannot thank you enough. Thank you so much for having me in your life and on your podcast. And someday, someday we will hug each other in real life.Lesley Logan 46:03  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We will. It'll happen. I think this winter tour, I feel it in me. All right, you guys, you know what to do. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 46:12  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 46:54  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 46:59  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 47:03  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 47:11  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 47:14  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

From College Athlete To Business Leader: This week on On The Homefront, we're switching things up! Instead of our usual podcast, we're airing an episode where Jeff Dudan was a guest on the Life After College Athletics podcast with Jake Kelfer and Ryland Hormel. Jeff shares his journey from college football at Appalachian State to becoming a successful entrepreneur, business leader, and franchise expert. He breaks down how the mindset of an athlete applies to business, what it takes to succeed after sports, and the lessons he's learned along the way. If you're an athlete navigating the next step or an entrepreneur looking for leadership insights, this episode is packed with value!

From College Athlete To Business Leader: This week on On The Homefront, we're switching things up! Instead of our usual podcast, we're airing an episode where Jeff Dudan was a guest on the Life After College Athletics podcast with Jake Kelfer and Ryland Hormel. Jeff shares his journey from college football at Appalachian State to becoming a successful entrepreneur, business leader, and franchise expert. He breaks down how the mindset of an athlete applies to business, what it takes to succeed after sports, and the lessons he's learned along the way. If you're an athlete navigating the next step or an entrepreneur looking for leadership insights, this episode is packed with value!

>> Get A Free Copy Of The Book (Big Idea To Bestseller): https://www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-book>> Book A Call With Our Team: https://write.bigideatobestseller.com/booking-page>> Step-By-Step Process To Becoming A Bestselling Author: https://write.bigideatobestseller.com/vsl-watch-pageHire smart, love your data, live fully, and embrace new challenges. Ready to make 2025 your best year yet? Tune in to hear the 9 biggest lessons 4x bestselling author and Big Idea To Bestseller Founder & CEO, Jake Kelfer, learned in 2024. IG: @jakekelferLinkedIn: @jakekelfer

>> Get A Free Copy Of The Book (Big Idea To Bestseller): https://www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-book>> Book A Call With Our Team: https://write.bigideatobestseller.com/booking-page>> Step-By-Step Process To Becoming A Bestselling Author: https://write.bigideatobestseller.com/vsl-watch-pageWant bestseller success? It's all about the right connections! In this episode, Jake Kelfer reveals the five essential people to add to your network to boost book sales and fuel business growth.IG: @jakekelferLinkedIn: @jakekelfer

>> Get A Free Copy Of The Book (Big Idea To Bestseller): https://www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-book>> Book A Call With Our Team: https://write.bigideatobestseller.com/booking-page>> Step-By-Step Process To Becoming A Bestselling Author: https://write.bigideatobestseller.com/vsl-watch-pageThink writing a full-length book in just 30 days is impossible? Think again! Join bestselling author Jake Kelfer as he shares his step-by-step strategy to help you write a high-quality book in a month—without spending hours a day.IG: @jakekelferLinkedIn: @jakekelfer

>> Get A Free Copy Of The Book (Big Idea To Bestseller): https://www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-book>> Book A Call With Our Team: https://write.bigideatobestseller.com/booking-page>> Step-By-Step Process To Becoming A Bestselling Author: https://write.bigideatobestseller.com/vsl-watch-pageIn this episode, Jake Kelfer reveals how writing his first book at 23 transformed him into an authority in his field showing that you don't need years of experience to stand out as an expert. Tune in for more information!IG: @jakekelferLinkedIn: @jakekelfer

>> Get A Free Copy Of The Book (Big Idea To Bestseller): https://www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-book>> Book A Call With Our Team: https://write.bigideatobestseller.com/booking-page>> Step-By-Step Process To Becoming A Bestselling Author: https://write.bigideatobestseller.com/vsl-watch-pageReady to land $8,000+ speaking gigs as an author?  Jake Kelfer shares his top tips on leveraging your book to get paid keynotes, land free talks that convert, and crush it as a guest coach. If you want to turn your book into a money-making machine, don't miss this!IG: @jakekelferLinkedIn: @jakekelfer

Ready to turn your big idea into a bestselling book? Whether you're a first-time writer or a seasoned entrepreneur, writing a book is the key to unlocking new opportunities, from speaking gigs to more clients. In this episode, Jake Kelfer, a 4x bestselling author, shares his exact roadmap to write, publish, and launch a nonfiction book that will grow your business and legacy. Tune in to learn the 10 essential steps to get your book out into the world and use it to generate more leads, sales, and impact!Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

Do you want the secrets to skyrocketing your social media success and generating leads like a pro?In this episode, 4x bestselling author and Big Idea To Bestseller Founder, Jake Kelfer, sits down with social media expert Kristina Bartold as she shares her invaluable insights from working with hundreds of social media clients. Discover her top tools and software for boosting social media growth, learn how to maintain authenticity without oversharing, and uncover the best metrics to measure your social media success. Plus, get actionable tips on generating leads from Instagram. What You'll LearnWhat Kristina has learned from working with 100s of social media clients in her agencyKristina's favorite tools and software for social media growthHow to be authentic without being too personalWhat the BEST metrics are to know if social media is working for youHow to generate leads from your IGAbout KristinaKristina Bartold-Sorgota is the co-founder and CEO of The Social Snippet. She loves helping entrepreneurs and small businesses grow their communities online using social media and podcasting. Kristina has been working in social media almost 10 years as a side hustle, and finally realized it was her passion and calling to pair her extensive experience coaching with her love for social strategy. The Social Snippet was born with her co-founder, Maria, and the rest is history!Connect With KristinaCheck out Kristina's Website - thesocialsnippet.com | thesocialbusinessclub.caFollow Kristina on Instagram - instagram.com/kristina.bartold/ | instagram.com/thesocialsnippet/Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer

Think your book will sell itself? Think again! The truth is, you're the driving force behind your book's success. If you don't shout about it, who will? In this episode, 4x bestselling author, Jake Kelfer, dives into the myths and facts of book marketing, and reveals how the bullseye technique can transform your launch strategy. Learn how to start with your inner circle, then expand outward to reach everyone from past clients to new followers. Hear how direct asks, like buying the book or leaving a review, paired with thoughtful indirect asks, can maximize your book's reach. Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

Most people will never write a book, but for those who do, the potential is enormous! Join 4x bestselling author, Jake Kelfer, as he reveals the step-by-step guide to turning your book into a powerful revenue generator. From crafting an exceptional book and launching it like a pro, to leveraging it for speaking gigs, coaching, and consulting, I've got the blueprint to help you reach your financial goals.In this episode, you'll discover how to: Write and publish a standout book Launch it with a bang Build awareness and attract early traffic Turn your book into a core offer with speaking, coaching, and more Run the numbers to hit your million-dollar targetIt's time to turn your book into a revenue machine! Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

Ever feel overwhelmed by the idea of writing a book? Don't worry—just like learning to ride a bike or speak a new language, writing takes time and practice. It's okay to have emotions throughout this process. In this episode, 4x bestselling author, Jake Kelfer explores why it's crucial to break down the writing process into manageable steps and focus on serving others rather than striving for perfection. Just like training for a marathon, the journey is about progress, not perfection. Learn how to shift your perspective, embrace your unique voice, and gamify your writing process. Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

“One of the things I've learned over the years is how to delegate, how to say no because when you're a doer, you get asked to do more, and we really need to be bold to say no.” – Ben Glass Today's featured international bestselling bookcaster is a grandad, husband, small business advocate, sought-after speaker, and your lawyer's favorite lawyer, Ben Glass. Ben and I had a high-energy chat about his new book with the legendary Dan S. Kennedy, “No B.S. Time Management for Entrepreneurs: The Ultimate No Holds Barred Kick Butt Take No Prisoners Guide to Time Productivity and Sanity”, his journey from law school to becoming a successful entrepreneur, creating structures to protect your time, and more!!Key Things You'll Learn:Why embracing an entrepreneurial mindset is integral for career growthWhy mentorship and continuous learning are important for entrepreneurs who want to advanceWhy it's ok to be ruthless with your time. Especially as a business owner.3 lessons learned from starting, running, and growing his podcast, The Renegade LawyerBen's Site: https://www.greatlegalmarketing.com/Ben's Books: https://a.co/d/2spj2pJBen's Podcast, “The Renegade Lawyer”: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-renegade-lawyer-podcast/id1644400751The opening track is titled "Heatsource" by the magnanimous chill-hop master, Marcus D (@marcusd). Be sure to visit his site and support his craft. https://marcusd.net/Please support today's podcast to keep this content coming! CashApp: $DomBrightmonDonate on PayPal: @DBrightmonBuy Me a Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/dombrightmonGet Going North T-Shirts, Stickers, and More: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/dom-brightmonThe Going North Advancement Compass: https://a.co/d/bA9awotYou Might Also Like…Ep. 621 – “F*cked To Focused” with Donnie Boivin (@DonnieBoivin): https://www.goingnorthpodcast.com/ep-621-fcked-to-focused-with-donnie-boivin-donnieboivin/288.5 (Host 2 Host Bonus) – “Choose the Right Mountain; Climb Faster!” with David Wood (@_playforreal): https://www.goingnorthpodcast.com/DavidWood2/Ep. 315 – “Elevate Your Network & Beyond” with Jake Kelfer (@jakekelfer): https://www.goingnorthpodcast.com/ep-315-elevate-your-network-beyond-with-jake-kelfer-jakekelfer/#Bonus Ep. – “Structure Creates Freedom” with Brad A. Milford (@BAMilford): https://www.goingnorthpodcast.com/bonus-ep-structure-creates-freedom-with-brad-a-milford-bamilford/Ep. 462.5 – “Beacons of Leadership” with Chris Voss of The Chris Voss Show (@ChrisVossShow1): https://www.goingnorthpodcast.com/ep-4625-beacons-of-leadership-with-chris-voss-of-the-chris-voss-show-chrisvossshow1/Ep. 806 – Big Bet Leadership with John Rossman (@johnerossman): https://www.goingnorthpodcast.com/ep-806-big-bet-leadership-with-john-rossman-johnerossman/261 – “How Thoughts Become Things” with Douglas Vermeeren (@DougVermeeren): https://www.goingnorthpodcast.com/261-how-thoughts-become-things-with-douglas-vermeeren-dougvermeeren/275 – “How Thoughts Become Things” with Dr. Marina Bruni (@DrMarinaBruni): https://www.goingnorthpodcast.com/275-how-thoughts-become-things-with-dr-marina-bruni-drmarinabruni/Ep. 508 – “Great Things Happen Every Day” with Phil Barth (@pjbarth): https://www.goingnorthpodcast.com/ep-508-great-things-happen-every-day-with-phil-barth-pjbarth/Ep. 697 – “The 7-Figure Life” with Dr. Noah St. John (@noahstjohn): https://www.goingnorthpodcast.com/ep-697-the-7-figure-life-with-dr-noah-st-john-noahstjohn/Ep. 600 – “Equanimity” with Simon Leslie (@simonleslie21): https://www.goingnorthpodcast.com/ep-600-equanimity-with-simon-leslie-simonleslie21/#Bonus Ep. – “Superbold” with Fred Joyal (@fredjoyal): https://www.goingnorthpodcast.com/bonus-ep-superbold-with-fred-joyal-fredjoyal/179 - "Indistractable" with Nir Eyal (@nireyal): https://www.goingnorthpodcast.com/179-indistractable-with-nir-eyal-nireyal/

Ever wondered how to turn your book into a powerful revenue generator? In this episode, 4x bestselling author, Jake Kelfer, shares the magic of the "Free + Shipping" funnel and how it transformed his company's, Big Idea To Bestseller's, book giveaway strategy. With incredible results from offering our book for free and having readers cover the shipping, we use this opportunity to introduce them to additional products that enhance their journey. Tune in to hear the full results and discover how you can leverage your book for both exposure and income.Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

Books Elevated My Life: Here's How They Can Transform Yours!In this episode, 4x bestselling author and founder of Big Idea To Bestseller, Jake Kelfer, reveals how writing his books transformed his career and opened doors he never imagined. From Elevate Beyond, inspired by working with Kobe and the Lakers, to Big Idea To Bestseller, which added seven figures in sales within 13 months, Jake's books have propelled him to new heights, including nationwide speaking tours and international gigs.Join Jake as he shares how books can elevate your life, build incredible relationships, and drive business growth. Tune in to discover the power of books in achieving your dreams! Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

Ever wondered if AI can help write your book? In this episode, 4x bestselling author, Jake Kelfer, reveals how AI enhances your book writing journey from crafting outlines to marketing your masterpiece. Build detailed outlines, organize chapters, and streamline your thoughts with AI. Tune in to learn how to overcome writer's block, develop your voice, and refine your writing style with AI's support. Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

Ready to make your book a bestseller? In this episode, 4x bestselling author, Jake Kelfer, dives into the age-old questions every author faces: “How do I get people to read my book? Who will read it? What if only my mom reads it?” He's got you covered with a fun, nostalgic twist inspired by the game Bop It! Just like you would twist it, pull it, and bop it, you can give it, speak it, and sell it to get your book into the right hands! From donating it to charities to promoting it at events, get ready to learn how to give, speak, and sell your way to success. Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

Imagine elevating your status and having people flock to support you—all because of your book. In this episode, 4x bestselling author and Founder of Big Idea To Bestseller, Jake Kelfer, reveals how a book can skyrocket your brand and business. From real estate agents to consultants to bankers, learn how top entrepreneurs found that writing a book opened doors to keynote invites, podcast interviews, and partnerships.Tune in to learn why all the big names and industry leaders write books and why you should too.Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

Everything you need to know to write a best-selling book is in this episode! Let's turn your Big Ideas into Bestsellers! Jake Kelfer shares his practical advice, as a 4x Bestselling Author, on writing and leveraging your book as a marketing tool. We dive into Jake's story of working for the Los Angeles Lakers during Kobe Bryant's final season, which inspired him to write his first book at 22 years old, plus his expert tips to successfully monetize, publish, and launch your book! Get ready to discover how a book can be your ultimate marketing asset for credibility, lead generation, and MORE.  HIGHLIGHTS 00:00 What is the driving force behind your passion for book writing? 08:00 How do you become an "Amazon Bestseller"? 11:15 The biggest lesson new authors can learn from Jake's book-writing process. 15:00 How to narrow down the main topic your book should be about.  19:15 Jake's top tip to monetize your book. 24:30 How to write, publish, and launch your book in 90 days. 32:00 How to set yourself up for a successful book launch. 37:45 The long-term benefits of a book as a marketing asset. 40:45 Why do physical books enhance engagement and create marketing opportunities? 46:00 Get your free copy of "Big Idea to Bestseller".  RESOURCES Get Big Idea to Bestseller HERE for FREE Check out the BONUS CONTENT HERE! Get glōci HERE Use code: HAPPY at checkout for 25% off! Text DAILY to 310-496-8363 for daily manifesting affirmations, journal prompts, and motivation. Sign up for GrowthDay - https://www.growthday.com/lori?via=harder Watch on YouTube - @LoriHarder My book: A Tribe Called Bliss FOLLOW Follow Jake: @jakekelfer Follow me: @loriharder Follow Earn Your Happy: @earnyourhappy Follow glōci: @getgloci Girlfriends & Business: @girlfriendsandbusiness

Discover the secret formula for predictable client acquisition and how one entrepreneur balances business success with ultra marathon training!In the  latest episode, host Jake Kelfer and special guest Austin Schneider dive into the secrets of building a predictable client acquisition system that works month over month. Tune in to discover why copywriting is one of the most crucial skills in marketing, how mastering it can transform your business, and how to leverage The Authority Funnel for consistent leads. What You'll LearnHow to build a predictable client acquisition system that works month over monthWhy copywriting is one of the most important skills you can have in marketingWhat The Authority Funnel is and how you can leverage it for consistent leadsHow to use cold email as part of your sales funnelHow Austin dances between running a successful business with training for ultra marathonsAbout AustinCollege dropout. Divorced parents. History of addiction in the family. No money handouts. Evicted.ALL the reason to NOT take a risk and bet on myself.But im grateful, because it made me realize what I DIDN'T want.So, instead of playing victim, I worked to create what I do want.And in 2014 is when I started my journey of “self employment” as a realtor, before I transitioned into starting our agency that's generated over $5m in sales with over 20 employees.My name is Austin Schneider, I built my content agency to over $200,000/mo.I now help Agencies and have helped over 160+ get out of the agency grind and go from being an operator to an orchestrator by leveraging systems, client acquisition techniques, and our hiring funnel.Connect With AustinFollow Austin on IG - Instagram.com/theaustinschneiderCheck Out Austin's YouTube Channel - https://youtube.com/@austinrschneider?si=8L8Lg3OF-leboUg1Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

The key to networking with your dream partners is a book!In this episode, 4x bestselling author and founder of Big Idea To Bestseller, Jake Kelfer, shares  how a book can be your ultimate networking tool. Learn how sharing your story not only boosts sales but also forges powerful connections. From unforgettable follow-ups to strategic event gifting, he'll show you how to leverage your book to build relationships with industry leaders, podcast hosts, and decision-makers and how one client used her book to dominate a networking event and connect with her dream partners.Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

Ready to elevate your speaking career? In this episode, 4x bestselling author Jake Kelfer dives into how writing a book can open doors to more speaking engagements. He'll teach you strategies to document your book-writing journey, share insights about your upcoming book, and engage with your network and new contacts, positioning yourself as an author-to-be. Discover launch week secrets, including how to combine writing with crafting your speech to inform your network about your book launch and speaking tour. Jake also reveals post-launch strategies to transform your book into a keynote or workshop, why gifting your book to 100 potential contacts can build valuable relationships, and how to follow up successfully to secure bookings.Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

Unlock unlimited opportunities with this one game-changing tool. You can use a single book to revolutionize your career, boost employee engagement, and skyrocket your business growth.In our latest episode, 4x bestselling author and Founder of Big Idea To Bestseller, Jake Kelfer, reveals how to engage employees by sharing your Founder's Story, enhance company culture by revealing your vision, and onboard new hires effectively with your book. Learn how to use your book for lead generation by gifting it to clients and prospects, build credibility as an authority in your field, and secure speaking engagements with bulk orders. Your book's uses are endless as it can also facilitate career transitions, help launch coaching or consulting services, and strengthen your position in salary negotiations. Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

Step into the life of Tracy O'Malley, a renowned coach and speaker, as she recounts her transformative journey with the Enneagram to break generational cycles of trauma. From her initial skepticism during rehab to becoming a leading voice in the Enneagram community, Tracy explores how this path not only reshaped her career but also clarity to her interactions with her children. Discover her motivations and her passion for teaching the Enneagram to assist others in gaining self-awareness and personal growth. Tune in to learn how the Enneagram can be a powerful tool for understanding and change.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Tracy's childhood trauma and the decision to seek change.The Enneagram personality typing system and its benefits.The Enneagram's impact on her relationships with her children.Her motivation and passion for teaching the Enneagram worldwide.Tracy's authenticity and growth as a confident speaker on stage.Episode References/Links:Tracy O'Malley InstagramTracy O'Malley FacebookTracy O'Malley WebsiteTracy O'Malley's PodcastEnneagram Type Blueprint (Use code BEIT to receive a 5% discount)Guest Bio:Tracy O'Malley is a highly sought after Master Performance Coach for companies like Google, Amazon + John Deere, a Top Enneagram Expert, Multi-Millionaire Entrepreneur and a Mom to two incredible Millennials. She has helped millions all over the globe; individuals, couples, families, leadership teams, fortune 100 Executives and CEOs step into the leaders they were always designed to be and create an effective and beautiful culture not only in their Professional Teams, but also their Home Teams. She teaches both professionals and individuals how to integrate the Enneagram in every area of life, guiding people to think and perform differently, uncover and change habits that no longer serve them, plus shift their relationship with money and intimacy by identifying where they are blocked and rewire those limiting beliefs.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Tracy O'Malley 0:00  I mean, Google, Amazon, YouTube, Facebook, John Deere have all brought me in to teach them this language because when we understand each other, we understand everything. And when we understand each other, we build credibility and trust, and we build a culture that's bulletproof. And that wins. So I was like, who knew that the girl who showed up in rehab and told her therapist to fuck off when she said, I want you to do the Enneagram, is now teaching it to millions of people all over the world.Lesley Logan 0:29  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:11  All right, Be It babe, just get ready. Get ready, I had so much I wanted to say I don't want to end this interview. And then also, I want to make sure I have time to talk with her after the interview before my next one. Because she is just a force in the all the best ways. She is fierce and lovely and empathetic. And frickin just wants you to win. And I love this podcast for a few reasons. One, I get to support you on your journey, and your life and being it till you see it. And recognizing you're so freakin awesome. And two, I get to meet epic, epic people. Mostly epic women who I, I would be like touched to just to like get to hug them in real life some day. So Tracy O'Malley, she's so amazing. This episode takes you on a journey of her life, and also how she was able to utilize what was going on in her life to not just benefit those around her. But now to benefit so many others. And what she's doing today to help others is nothing sort of amazing and truly going to change your life and those around you. This is just going to be so fun. I can't wait for you to listen to it. So here I'm just going to let Tracy tell who she is in just a moment. But save this one. Really listen to it. You'll pick up different things as you listen to it and the things you have in common with her, the things that's inspiring about her, the things that open the doors and also the things that she might call you out on in the best way, way that someone who can only see the true honest you can. So here she is Tracy O'Malley. Lesley Logan 1:11  All right, Be It babe. I'm really excited. I was introduced to this incredible woman you're gonna hear about today, because of one of your favorites, which is Jake Kelfer and we are on a Zoom call. It's kind of like how have we not met yet we have so many friends that know each other and we know each other's friends. And so it's just gonna be a really amazing conversation. Tracy O'Malley, thank you for being here. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?Tracy O'Malley 3:02  Oh my gosh, hi, I love, I loved our conversation before. And same thing, I love when I meet people who who keep saying you got to meet this person, you got to meet this person. And then we actually meet it's like, there it is. I'm Tracy O'Malley. What I'm really good at is seeing through people's soul, quite honestly. I can kind of see through a lot of the masks that we wear with such love and compassion. So that we can step into who we were always designed to be and make sense of all of this crap that you know life has thrown at us honestly. Lesley Logan 3:33  Yeah. And it's interesting talk about like masks we wear because we all kind of like people might seem call it a different hat. But really like, the different ways we show up. And what we're trying to show and what we're trying not to show. You might scare some people that you can see through. Tracy O'Malley 3:49  I do. You know, it's funny, like if you meet me, and I get this because, and I never take it personal when people are like, oof, you're very activating. Because I, had I met me 15 years ago, I would have been lined up, hightailed the fuck away from me for sure. Because a lot of us come by these masks very innocently and for survival and when somebody can kind of see through the armor that can be very, very scary. So either people are really magnetized to me because wow, they feel seen. Or they're like, holy shit, I need to get away from you because they feel really seen. And depending on where you're at in your journey, that's kind of how this will play out for you.Lesley Logan 4:32  Yeah, I like picturing different moments I've met people similar to you. And you're and I can recall, like, if you're not ready for that. You're like, oh, I need to be a spar with that person. It's so funny because the couple of times that's happened, I've also then re-engaged with them later down the road and going how did I not let them be my best friend and it's because I wasn't ready for it yet. You know, I wasn't ready to be fully seen yet. So can we talk about 15 years ago? Like when did this journey start for you? Because if you, obviously, this a skill set you had, you didn't always know you had it. So how did this kind of come about?Tracy O'Malley 5:05  Well, ironically, you know what's funny about that is, is I always knew I had it. I didn't know what to do with it. And you know, as a little girl, I grew up in a pretty traumatizing home, alcoholism and Jekyll and Hyde kind of shit going on, and unpredictability and violence and, and emotional abandonment. And this little girl in me kind of trying to navigate what all of this meant. And early on, I was always seeking like, how the hell did we get here? And how the hell do I get out of here? And, you know, I always had to kind of read situations. It is one of my spiritual gifts, as well as being able to read situations and people and energies, mainly because I had to kind of gauge the situation I was growing up in, but it's also kind of one of my gifts. But like taking you back 15 years ago, is kind of when it was all coming to a head I had almost I was about 40 years old at that point. And a lot of those skill sets had served me well. I had been married and divorced at that time, through a recession, raising teenagers, and on paper, and all the receipts showed that all that those coping mechanisms worked out really well for me, you know, on paper, I was solid, knock me down, I'll get back up kicking and screaming. But I felt this internal struggle. And also I could see some of that effect on my kids. Even though you know, to the world, they were the greatest kids and they were and they are, but I could feel their restless irritability, discontentment, fear, and all of that. And, and I knew I needed new tools in the toolbox. These spiritual gifts that I had were great, but they were for survival, not necessarily to thrive. And it all came to a head when my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and was dead within 12 days, like seriously from diagnosis to death in 12 days. And yeah, he's the most impactful person in my life, the most dysfunctional person and also, the person I loved more than anyone. And for him to go from that, to that that fast. I was like, holy shit, life is really short. And, I don't necessarily know a different way. And so the people that went before me and my family, I love them dearly but, what they were teaching me, modeling for me, all of that was not going to take me where I wanted to go with my family and my lineage moving forward. So I made the decision that all these coping mechanisms, although provided survival for me, I was not going to thrive or pass it on to my next generation. So I decided to check myself into rehab. For all my coping mechanisms, not just the obvious ones that were a problem. You know, there was alcohol, there was food, there was anger, there was power, there was sex, everything but drugs basically I've used to cope.Lesley Logan 7:57  My big joke around my household is like, we clearly were the kids who had that "This is your brain on drugs," because like most people that are friends of mine, alcohol is a definite one and those other ones you listed, but no one's doing the drugs because we're told, so I guess it's like (inaudible).Tracy O'Malley 8:12  So God forbid you do a drug like, but you know, you could be drinking tequila shots off people and you know, doing some reckless shit. And I did and I came by a lot of it super innocently and I didn't want that anymore for my life. And if you don't repair it, you repeat it, or it gets repeated or both. And that was happening. And I did not want my kids to fast forward 25 years to feel like I felt and the only way that wasn't going to happen is if I went fucking first. And so I broke the mold. Like everybody in my circle, my family and my friends are like what are you doing? You're not bad. We're way worse than you. I'm like, Well, that's the fucking problem is like, I'm surrounding myself with people that don't challenge me to level up. And although, yeah, I didn't have a physical addiction to alcohol. I wasn't like an everyday drinker. But when I did, I was so unpredictable, that that creates an environment that I grew up in and I had migraines and ulcers in the second grade. I don't want that for the people that I love. And so it was in rehab. I walked in, and my therapist who's tough and she's from Texas, and I still see her to this day, you know, over 12 years later and you know, I've been through nine therapists at this point and I could manipulate anybody you know, I know how to talk, I know how to, I know how to do it. And it was the way that I did that prior in my life was to kind of test them to see if they could handle me. I didn't manipulate to manipulate like a narcissist might but I manipulated to test them to see if they really were what they said they were. And all the nine therapists before her, I could, like they ended up in a codependent bond with me. And I was like, okay, this is a little fucked up. But with her, I think I was also ready. I was like, listen, I need you to help me fix some shit. And she's like, well, your robust ego, first of all. I'm like, oh, here we go. Okay. And it was in day two, she wanted me to take the Enneagram thing, which is how the Enneagram came into play for me. And I basically said, go fuck yourself, I don't need another label. I'm walking in here with plenty. I don't need another thing to make this complicated. And she wasn't even rattled by my very colorful, intense language and intense energy. She did not even miss a beat. She's like, my dear, I get it. But your best thinking has gotten you here. And this might help you get out of the box that not only you've put yourself in, but the world has also put you in. So how about you just open up your mind a little bit? And give it a shot? Touché. Lesley Logan 10:54  I love her. I love her so much.Tracy O'Malley 10:55  I know. Yeah, she like and that's the thing with that intensity where, when we were talking about before, where it can be very activating for people, I used to get off on that, it was like, see, I'm the strongest person in the room. Whereas now when I activate somebody, it's like, I know, it's for their greatest good if they choose to receive it that way. And she provided that for me. Like she wasn't even rattled by that. And so I trusted her. I trusted her to take me on a journey. And you know, she did quite one hell of a journey for sure. Lesley Logan 11:26  So she, how did she take the Enneagram test? But you guys, we've had, we've talked about it before. It's been a while. It's been a couple of years. But for people who don't know, what is the Enneagram? And why do you think that she had you do it so early on in your journey?Tracy O'Malley 11:39  I hate the what is the Enneagram question because it's like, it's so stupid, but like I get it. It basically is this mappings, the way that I describe it is this beautiful navigation system that explains how you are divinely wired in your motives and your core fears that if you kind of sift through all the masks and the hats and the bullshit, at the root of who you are, there's this really distinct perspective, motive and fear in which you see the world. And why think she had me take it. And by the way, all those online assessments are wrong. The first one that I took was wrong as well. So just little asterisk there. The reason I think that she had me tackle this so early, and I'm so grateful she did and honestly, I don't even know if I'm still sober to this day without this beautiful system and framework that kind of, you know, because my robust ego can think that I can handle this and I know better and all this shit. And the Enneagram kind of is this navigation that keeps me in my lane. When I want to go off roading or fly off a cliff or go rogue kind of guides me back into who I was always divinely meant to be before life kind of life to me in the face a little bit. And so when you understand and that, you know, and I was tackling this at the age of 40, 40 years old, that's a lot of shit to unpack. And I think that's why a lot of people start the personal development journey. And then like, fuck this, I'm out. It's too hard, too much to unpack. It's too overwhelming. It's kind of like when you're spring cleaning and you start it and you're like I just opened a can of worms. I only wanted one worm to pop out. And now the whole fucking can's open. Lesley Logan 13:18  Yeah, yeah, I totally understand. Tracy O'Malley 13:20  Right, like, so I think when we embark on this journey, like, that's how this feels. And it's like, nope, let's just spackle this all back together and move on. And the Enneagram kind of helps you streamline and accelerate that understanding of yourself with compassion. When I understood at the core of everything that I did was a motive of being strong and powerful. That helped me reverse engineer and connect a lot more dots a lot faster, which, in turn, creates transformation. You can see movement in this growth because even in therapy, I love therapy, but it's fucking slow. It's really, really slow and I don't move slow. And so I think she also recognize that like, alright, lady, I'm here, let's make shit happen. I'm not staying more than 30 days. So you got 30 days to make something happen. And I was able to move the needle faster with this understanding, with this beautiful navigation of myself and a willingness to really use it the way that it was always intended. We're more than just a number we're more than just our type that's just kind of our home base and we go but there's all these other levers and directions we can take and detours we can take when the main road that we normally take isn't the right one to take. Right? And it provided me that very, very quickly. And then the next aha was oh shit. I have two children that have a totally different navigation system than me. And I've been trying to take them down all my roads all this time and no matter how well intended I was and how beautiful of a mom I am and it was never landing the way that would serve them best.Lesley Logan 15:06  That's so interesting. So like, first of all, I want to just highlight like, I love that you're saying you're more than just a number because all Enneagram people say, what's your number? And I was like, it's kind of like, what's your sign? And even like astrologist would say, okay.Tracy O'Malley 15:17  And I love that too. Lesley Logan 15:18  Yeah. And it's like, it's not just your sign, because like, you also have a moon sign, a sun sign, we have a whole chart, a nd like, where the moon, like, everything is changing all the time. So the Enneagram makes me feel like a birth chart. And if you want, if you got astrology, guys, it's kind of like that. And there's these areas that you can tap into. And so what you're basically saying is, you are navigating their life through the way that works best for you. But because of their Enneagram and their needs, that's not going to work for them, that's not going to be their strength, it's not going to be their motivation, it's not going to be their way to tap into things. And so basically, it's like, if you're trying if you're an Aquarius guys, you're trying to make your Cancer, like, here, read your brain. That's not gonna work.Tracy O'Malley 15:58  Exactly. Exactly. And low key. I was judging them for not being motivated like me and low key, I was like, I'm not, like I was frustrated with them, and low key I was like,oh, my god, I'm failing them. And, you know, about day two, when I understood myself sitting in rehab, understanding and reading this, and then realizing that there's eight other languages and other different navigation systems. And I was hightailing it to figure out where my kids fell in this, so that I could serve them better. Not necessarily to put them in a box or label them or say, you're this, and you're that, but like, how can I create a win win, where they trust me, they know that they are seen, heard, understood and valued for who they were divinely made to be? And how can I speak to them in a way that builds credibility and trust and empower them to move forward. And when I got home, you know, I didn't come home and say, Oh, my God, the Enneagram I never talked about the Enneagram for the next five fucking years. But I was using it as a navigation system, every conversation I had with my kids., and then out in business and beyond, I was trying to ask questions that would help me kind of pinpoint where they fell in this beautiful framework, so that I could speak to them in a way that served them. And within days of coming home, and really being more curious and intentional with the way that I spoke, the the temperature and the culture in my home changed immediately. And they were teenagers at the time. And if you've ever been around teenagers, that's not an easy task, especially with the track record I had, you know, I was kind of an authoritarian in my house is very good and tactical, and they didn't have to worry about certain things. But it was like my way or the frickin highway, a lot of time. And that tone shifted, because of my understanding of this and speaking to them in a way that served them better. And when that happened, I could see that like, they started coming to me with everything, instead of the teenager. sneaky shit. They're like, Mom, this stuff's happening. We're scared. We don't know what to do. And because of me, knowing where they fell, the way they were motivated, the way that they feared, the way that they perceived the world, I could speak to it and not try to convince them to see it my way. And in turn, here's the beauty of this whole fucking thing is they taught me more about myself, because of my willingness to see through their lens too.Lesley Logan 18:27  Yeah, it's so beautiful. Oh, and I, what I'm also loving is that, like, you took this skill set that you had this gift of like seeing people and using that to navigate the world to survive. And the way you shifted, it was to use it to thrive. So everyone's thriving now, not just you. And I think that also is really cool. Like, the way I'm kind of now more intrigued about Enneagram. What you're saying is like, it's actually not so much about your number, it's actually more about the other people on the wheel and where they land. And so because if you can, if you can support that, if you know what their fear, way of fearing is or the know what their motivation is, you can support that journey. And if you support them, it'll, like you just said, it'll give back to you.Tracy O'Malley 19:12  100% and, you know, I'm raising two types that are very different than me and different from each other. And they both, their strengths and the way they're motivated. They are the two areas of my life that I probably needed the most growth in and so they are my greatest teachers to this day. And because of that, I bring something to the table that they absolutely need and they're more willing to lean into it. So we are like this beautiful, polarizing team, the three of us, you know, they're they're 26 and 27 now, and you know, they're my favorite people in the world and I am theirs and we're all very, very different but like when you have three very different polarizing motives, fears, the way that they see the world when you understand each other, you're bulletproof, but when you don't, that's when it's like fucking Fight Club, which it was, you know, back 15 years ago when I was starting this because it was just like trying to make each other see things in ways that we didn't understand. And it was like this power struggle rather than this, like, this is who we are. Let's leverage this to make this beautiful for us all.Lesley Logan 20:24  Yeah. (Inaudible) So fascinating, because like, you could be going, no, this is the way you need to see it. And the way you're doing that is activating the fear in them. So they're not even willing. And also, especially with teenagers, and just kids in general, most people don't know how to articulate what they're feeling. They don't how to articulate what they're feeling is fear. So like, then you're just like, you're not making sense that you don't even like what I'm saying. So I think this, okay. This is really, really, really cool. So you come home and you start to you use it, you said you didn't even talk about it for five years. When did it transition from you utilizing it support your life to you like doing this as something that you put out into the world?Tracy O'Malley 21:02  Yeah, so it got crazy. So you know, when I went into rehab, I walked away from the career that I had, which was 15 years in the car industry, very masculine energy, you know, which my intense robust ego worked very well in that industry. I was great at what I did, and I fucking hated every second of it. You know, it was very soul sucking, very cutthroat, which I like, but just not integrity filled. And when I walked into rehab, I also walked away from my career. So when I got out, I was like, okay, I'm 40 now, what do I want to be when I grow up, and I accidentally fell into a network marketing company. And now female-dominated. And I was like, I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be soft in all of that. But I better fucking learn. And thank God, I was armed with the Enneagram because I was like, okay, let's test this thing. Let's test this thing. So I started every conversation and in order to build and I was very successful, within two years, I took that business from zero to a million-dollar income and on paper I was very least likely to do that. But with this understanding in this beautiful navigation system, every question like, how do I lead everyone, right? And the best statistic about that business was not the millions of dollars that I made, it was helping other people make millions of dollars that were different than me. So in that organization, there's like 100,000, salespeople now, and seven of them have gone on to make millions of dollars. They're represented by six different Enneagram types, and not one of them is an eight like me. That's my favorite statistic of all, is the ability to lead everyone. So you know, I started using it, started using it and because of the growth people were asking me, and I was speaking on stages in front of 20,000 people like how are you doing this? You're lit single mom that went to rehab with no social network? How did you make this happen? And I'm like, I leveraged every single person, I made every single person in front of me a leader. And how did I do that? Because I spoke to who they are, not who I wanted them to be. And I was using this tool the whole time, nobody knew it. Part of me really liked having the secret weapon nobody knew about. But part of me is like, I just got good at it, I was using my divine gifts. And the Enneagram provided me a language to put to it and a system that I already had. But then 2017 happened and I got really sick. And I got sidelined. And around the same time. And I had already kind of felt this pull that I knew there was something bigger that I was supposed to be doing. And that little girl in me, when I was like, I knew that I would be doing something like this. But my robust ego also really liked making millions of dollars a year doing something very easy. That came very easy to me, I wasn't going to stop that. And so like there was this divine intervention, and this forced sabbatical with my health, that forced me to kind of get still, again, which I don't necessarily love. I get it. But I don't love it. And it was during this time that the Enneagram became trendy. And it pissed me off. Because I've been using it at this point for six years, five, six years. And it became the cutesy thing and I was fucking angry about it. I was like, you guys are missing the beauty and the power of this tool. So I didn't hop on it because it was trendy. I hopped on it because I was mad about it. Because I was like, that's totally anything too, don't do things just because it's cool. It's like, no, you guys are doing it wrong. And I'm about to disrupt what you guys believe about this. And then I came out of the Enneagram closet and reveal like how I built that business and made leaders was understanding this framework and knowing where people fell in it with out assessments without test without me even saying what's your fucking Enneagram type? I got so good at where are you motivated? And then if I felt like I got it, I would know because hello, we could make shit happen, right? And so when it became trendy, I was like, okay, I'm gonna show you guys actually how to use this thing, because you're just, you're learning about your type, but you're missing the mark if you don't know all the things that are connected to you, like you said earlier, like me learning about the other types is actually beneficial because my aid tool, which is my main source is usually not the right tool for the job. So I better know how to use the other dynamics that are connected to me in order to be the best version of myself. And so people were like, Oh, my God, you've been using this this whole time. I'm like, yeah, let me show you how. And so people started bringing me into masterminds and group coaching programs. And, you know, big Fortune 500 companies are now having me on retainer as their executive coach using this language. Right? It's a (inaudible) language. I know. I mean, Google, Amazon, YouTube, Facebook, John Deere, have all brought me in to teach them this language. Because when we understand each other, we understand everything. And when we understand each other, we build credibility and trust, and we build a culture that's bulletproof. And that wins. So I was like, Who knew that the girl who showed up in rehab and told her therapist to fuck off when she said, I want you to do the Enneagram is now teaching it to millions of people all over the world.Lesley Logan 26:39  I mean, it's crazy. It's also amazing. It's also it's like, it definitely is like 'what we resist is there to assist' kind of a thing. You know, I've definitely, okay, but hold on. So you went from like, being in car sales and then in network marketing, and then to speaking in front of people? Are you a natural speaker? Did you like speaking in front of people? How do you prepare for that?Tracy O'Malley 27:00  You know, it's so funny, because I get a lot of people who want to be speakers and like, the best speakers are the ones who never wanted to be a speaker. Honestly, like, it was never about that. For me, I'm great at it. I mean, I'm not polished at all. Like, I'm not like, specially trained, but I can move a room and I can make an impact. In fact, I was the girl in college that would vomit. Before my communications class. In high school, I was really good in music and things like in sports. But if they wanted me to do like a solo, like, I'm like, I'm out. I don't want to be this. I like to fly under the radar. I like to be stealthy. And so when they started putting me on stages, I was like, this was never my calling. But I know that the impact I'm here to make is really important. And I'm going to get over my myself. Even as a little girl, when I was reading maps, like I grew up reading maps, for a reason. I always wanted to understand how we got here, and how do we get from here to there. And the fact that, you know, if you take my my whole life, and connect all the dots, they all mattered, and they all can, lays a trail for somebody else. And I still, like speaking I'm good at it. But it's not my favorite thing to do. It's not my greatest work. I'd much rather be in the trench with somebody. I'd much rather like, okay, like, let me impact you so you can go impact millions, right? I like to be more of this invisible, like 911 call, which I am to a lot of people. Like when hell's breaking loose, like my phone's ringing. And nobody knows about it. And I love that, like, that's my favorite work to do. But bringing the voice to something like this. And something like a story like mine, I think is really important to kind of make that impact. And because I'm not polished and because I'm real. I think we need more of that. So, I'll continue to do it.Lesley Logan 29:05  I completely agree. I think it's really true. I think it's really easy for people to see a polished speaker and go oh my gosh, they like, first of all, you'll hear a polished speaker tell a story similar to yours and go and you will forget how bad it was because just this polished thing and then you put yourself like that's, that's where I have to be. And it's like actually, like they had coaches, they had help. But also, people nowadays are more likely to want the realness and Chelsea Peitz, she's been on the podcast. She's a social media coach. And she actually said that there's, I forget the law, you guys, it's on her Instagram account, but like, there was like some sort of like, law of physics, but law does a different title, which is like, people are more likely to trust you if they if they already liked you. And then they see you make a mistake and they see you keep going. They're actually more likely to trust you. So in her example, it's like, you know, screwing up, you know, in your reel or having a misspeak and then correcting that in a podcast or speeche is actually more valuable to building trust than if you say it perfectly right every single time.Tracy O'Malley 30:05  That's one of the things that I love about your podcast, too. Like the be it till you see it. You just, I knew as a little girl this is what I was gonna be doing. It was never what I wanted. But I was like, okay, and you know, when I knew that I would be speaking and nobody was there. Nobody knew who the hell I was. But I knew that this calling was on my life. And sometimes when the calling is calling, and you're gonna get called out to get called up and, and all the things I was like, alright, well, I'm just going to speak as though I've been speaking to arenas. And I never have a signature keynote. I'm not saying not knocking anybody that does. But the reason I get asked back a lot is because you're gonna get something different every time and you never know what it's going to be. And I think people really appreciate that, because that's fucking life. Life on life's terms is really, really hard. And a pretty polished signature keynote isn't going to create transformation. It might make somebody cry, it might make somebody buy some shit. But I am here to accelerate transformation and really disrupt somebody's life so that they can step into who they were always designed to be. And I wish somebody had done that for me. And so, you know, when I get asked why I do what I do, it's like, I would have died for me back 23 years ago, when I really started diving in and understanding that the biology of who I am, the biography that I came from, the behaviors that didn't serve me anymore, and this backstory really were gonna matter for something. It was like, all right, bring it. Let's, let's see what's going to happen here. And it's still like, it's uncomfortable sometimes. But I know that I never remember anything that I say either. Ever.Lesley Logan 31:52  Yeah, I understand that. Especially because like, I also get like, a vulnerability hangover. Where am I after like, did I say the wrong thing? Did I say too much? You know what I mean? And it's like, well, what did I say? I don't even remember. So I'll have to just wait till it comes out. And I go was it too much? I don't know. To trust, it's right for that person. You know, I want to, for the person listening, it was like, okay, hold on, hold on, now. You, and it's like a be it till you see it story for you. How did you go from like, throwing up a communications class before you spoke in front of the room to like actually talking from arenas. Do have a mantra? Do you have a practice? Like, how did you get yourself to feel comfortable up there? Or do you still not?Tracy O'Malley 32:30  I'm very comfortable up there. Because it's never about me, right? I think humility, sobriety, my commitment to do the work every day. You know, one of the things that I learned and I carry with me every day, that, you know, I'm not like every day is a new clean slate. And what I have is a daily reprieve that's contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition, the maintenance of it, and every day, like that comes first. And so that humility of like, I know that my life is going to turn out beautiful, as long as I don't make it all about me, right? That I'm going to be safe. Yes, I'm going to get uncomfortable. But when we kind of approach, everything we do, it's like, who can I serve today, and not from a codependent like giving to get kind of way like, I'm here to be a vessel of change for him, and I will be beautifully, abundantly rewarded by that. The minute I stopped making it about me, this got a lot easier. There is no mantras because, and that's when when I do remember what I say, on a stage or on a podcast. It's because I made it about me, because it was like scripted, bullet pointed all the things but when I'm like, Who am I going to serve today? I know that if I impact the one person in the room that needs to hear this, they're gonna go out and make a difference in this world. And my job is done. Like it's amazing. It's amazing. And so just remembering that this is for the greatest good, and I will get mine. And it may not look the way that I want. But there isn't necessarily a mantra but humble, humble, humble, humble, humble, and doing my own work every day. It was funny. I've never branded myself, believe it or not. It's amazing that I've have this amazing business that I've had over the last decade because I've never done I'm so messy. There is no, nothing Lesley, have I ever done that is planned. I've never launched. I've never had any kind of marketing, nothing. It's all been pure instincts and intuition for me. And although that has served me very well and served the people really well. I also recognize that I'm not making the impact I'm making. I'm not making the impact I want to make because there's this visibility kind of breakdown in like people hear about me. In fact, you, you probably heard about me from our friend Jake. And then you went to my social and you're like, this doesn't, like,I hear how great she is. but this shit sucks. Facts. I mean, not saying that you said that. Lesley Logan 35:11  I didn't say that. But I was like, wow, Jake, she's not very, like, I just, you don't say enough about you? That's true. Tracy O'Malley 35:19  Bingo. Bingo. So I have hired a creative director who I fucking love. She's amazing. And we're excavating a lot of my story. And it's like, the vulnerability that comes with that, and like, I'm terrified of it and equally, really excited because it's bringing this whole collection of 52 years of my life. And why I was born to do this and why I was born to help other people kind of navigate the hard things in their life and why I'm the person to do that. It's very, very confronting for me. And also like, it feels like a big warm hug. And it feels like that little girl that was reading maps all by herself, trying to figure this shit out on her own, is all of a sudden saying, yay, all of this is going to help people in a way that we've always wanted. It's so cool. It's so cool.Lesley Logan 36:13  It's so cool. And I love that you bring up I mean, like the be it till you see it came from like, peopl always asking me like, how are you so confident? Like, how do you get all these things done? And I was like, what are you talking about? Like, I'm, like, scared all the time. Like, I'm constantly like, like, wondering, like, Is this, are we doing the right thing? Is this the right thing? But I always take the end in mind, and I work backwards. And then I act like the person, I do the things that that end would get me now. And that's where this came from. And I will always attribute it to Amy Cuddy, because she actually is the person who formulated that sentence for me in her TED Talk, like, she doesn't know me, and, you know, shout at anyone who knows Amy, we're trying to get a hold of her. But, it's interesting thing, like, we, it's tempting to put everything in a box from our childhood ago that was traumatic, that caused me to be like this, instead of actually going, okay, if it wasn't like that, I wouldn't be this person, I wouldn't have these tools, skill sets, and I wouldn't have had to do the things I've had to do to become the person I am. And also, there's a, there's a part of you in there that like was already doing these things in your own little way. And it's a strength you've had for much longer than you give yourself credit for. So I think it's just really, really cool. Like, I could talk to you forever, I see it really good. But we're gonna take a brief break and find how people can work with you. Lesley Logan 37:25  Alright, Tracy, so one of the things I love is that you're not all about just figuring out the number, you truly want to help people understand how to utilize this tool in their life. So they can literally make the impact they want to make. So can you tell everyone how they can work with you and find you?Tracy O'Malley 37:39  So there's a few different ways. I have a podcast that has over 400 episodes. So if you're like curious about this, before you go down the rabbit hole of all the other shit that's out there, just go listen to my podcast. I talk about leadership, you know, because I think this is all coming from this legendary leadership, this legend that you are created to be, right? And how we lead ourselves will impact how we can go out in the world and lead in our homes and out in the professional world as well. And so a lot of my teachings using the Enneagram is self leadership and then leading beyond you. You can go to TracyOMalley.com to start with the Enneagram. I always say it's a great starting point especially if you've been through anything in your life and you feel like you're all over the place. You're throwing a bunch of crap up at the wall hoping something sticks like my Enneagram assessment's over 95% accurate. Start there because then it kind of sifts through and you'll know, okay, this is what motivates me. This is the fear this is my blind spot. Like I at least I know that and you can meet yourself with more compassion instead of the whipping shame stick. So go there. We have a code for your audience. If you go to TracyOMalley.com and you get the assessment and use the code, be it, you'll get a beautiful little special discount.Lesley Logan 39:01  We love that. We love that, guys. I, this is, I think this is, first of all, 400 episodes. I'm gonna start binging on all of that just so I can learn more. And I think it's just really a gift that you've given everyone the amount of effort and work you've put out there. I hope more people get to hear about you because it's going to change their lives. So, B-E-I-T guys. We'll put the link in the show notes.Tracy O'Malley 39:27  Yeah, you know, I also go in I work with a lot of teams as well because what usually happens is once you kind of drink the Enneagram Kool-Aid, you can also do like a 90-minute deep dive. So it's kind of like, it's one thing to have the ticket, the Enneagram and understanding and having the right information. Hello, that's the cookie right there like having that, awesome. But I'm like somebody's like great. Now what do I do with this? I'm the girl who buys the fast pass everywhere I go. I need skipping lines like tell me what this means. And bring me to the front of the line. Like you can dive deep with me for 90 minutes. It's like 10 years of therapy, life frickin changing. So not only do you have the right information, I kind of tell you what to do with this in your life personally and professionally. So then what happens usually is once that happens, usually I get brought into a couple situations, or partners, or business partners, or besties, or parent-child situations, family situations, masterminds, groups, companies, like people are seeing the profound understanding that this can have like when you understand the profound effect it can have in cohesiveness and culture, personally and professionally, that they want everybody to do it. And I am the master facilitator for that. So if you have teams or organizations bring me in, it's like, I'm way more than the Enneagram y'all like, that's just the tool that I use. I have, you know, 23 years of really diving deep into a lot of modalities to really help you make sense of yourself and those that you love and lead.Lesley Logan 41:05  So cool. I have already, like, my mind's already thinking, my husband's gonna listen to this. And I'm like, maybe you know, have someone interpret.Tracy O'Malley 41:13  We can do a topical session podcast episode. I can do, like, therapy.Lesley Logan 41:16  Well, because you're, you know, like, we have the Strength Finders 2.0, which is always very helpful. Like, we use it for our team. But it's like, it's kind of like what you do and not the how to do it. Yeah, so like, the Enneagram is very much like on how you do things like the why behind the, the why, sorry, the why is more important because we work together. And so if someone's like, why are you doing it like that? And other times he's like, why are you getting so upset? I'm like, I think it's because I'm a seven and you're a four, three or whatever. Tracy O'Malley 41:42  Oh yea, like, seriously, my relationship that I'm in, my romantic relationship, there's no way it survives without my understanding and understanding how to integrate that because I would have probably throat punched him, you know, years ago, because he would have been so triggering to me when he's under stress, like under, but understanding that even when it feels personal, like it's not. And this is the beauty of that is like, yeah, this doesn't feel good. And like, I don't like your behaviors right now. But I understand it isn't, it isn't about me. And how can I serve you and be a better partner for you? And yeah, I had good friends of mine, clients, they had me come do their team, right? They did like a team retreat. And then they have a podcast as well and they're sex therapist, like, and then I did like a couple session on air with them. It was so much fun. Oh, and every once in a while I get calls. They're like, okay, he's acting like this, what does this mean?Lesley Logan 42:39  You have to have, you have to have like a Voxer membership, where people can just pay you like, hey, Tracy, hold on. Before I let you go, bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?Tracy O'Malley 42:52  So I think that, you know, we hear like, awareness is everything. Yeah, that's the first part. But most of us go from awareness to like, how do I fix this? How do I make this stop? Right? Especially in the times we live in, we go from this awareness to action, awareness to action, and we skip this really fucking important part of called acknowledgement, right? And this is where we connect the dots. And the Enneagram can help you connect them faster. So that's why I love this tool so much. But also really diving into biography not to stay stuck, you know, I used to be somebody like I'm not looking back, I'm not going that way. But we really have to be able to reverse engineer, how we got here, and where even some of the behaviors that you and I have had that worked out, okay, for us, weren't necessarily coming from the healthiest of places, they were more for survival. And, yes, that's fine. But that's not sustainable or fulfilling, and you'll burn out. Right? So taking the time in this understanding your biography, doing some timeline work, I really, strongly encourage people, whenever I'm working with my private VIP clients, I send them a journal. And I say, divide it into three sections. And I want you to take at least a minimum of a five-minute walk every day. And with no technology, no multitasking, no podcast, I don't want you listening to anything, I want you to sit at the couch, lace up your shoes and invite the child inside of you for a conversation. And that's kind of where my journey started to unpack my timeline. And so as you start walking, and inviting, it's just like any relationship, you have to be consistent and committed to it. And even doing some of this inner child work, which is really fucking important, you guys, really important. You have to be consistent with it. So in this journal, I have them divided into three different categories and the first section is like zero to seven. The second section is eight to like 13 and the second or the third section is 14 and up and any kind of thoughts, feelings, memories and emotions that come up, even the littlest things, put in one of those sections, and start building this timeline of understanding this is how you're kind of going back and rerouting and seeing how you took this route, how you took this route, how you took this route, and where some of those patterns that serve you really well came from dysfunctional places, and how you can flip the script because those things are your superpowers, but they can also be the kryptonite in your life as well. And it's just a matter of understanding the come from and that we can switch the come from when we can meet ourselves with compassion. And when we understand that compassion comes when we understand that, at the root of everything that we're doing is a beautiful, beautiful child that is running scared. And we can (inaudible) that part of who we are, that's when we can shift this. And those things that maybe are the kryptonite in your life can become the superpowers. Like,the kryptonite in my life has always been my intensity. Like seriously, I can blow up my life on a dime, I could blow up a situation. And like be it be very, very disruptive. That intensity hasn't gone anywhere. I can still blow some shit up. But now it's coming from a place of love, compassion, empathy, service, grace, rather than fear, insecurity, unworthiness, shame, guilt, and ego. So get a journal, do the three, take a walk five minutes a day, invite that child in. One of the things that I do every morning is I do the walk. And I invite you know, whatever you believe in, I believe in a god that's bigger than me, good orderly direction, whatever that means to you. And I say any thoughts, feelings, memories, emotions that need to come up that I need to address, and reconcile or embrace so that I can step into the calling that you have on my life. I'm available for it, even if it's uncomfortable, and even if it's exciting, right? So that honestly, I know it sounds a little woo. But I'm telling you this, this is an action item that most people, they say I've done the inner work, check. I've done my inner child work. You don't fucking stop it. It's until you're dead, you guys. Yeah, it's until you're dead. Because as you build this and create a safe place for your inner child to come out and play, guess what he or she's got a lot more to say. And if you're like me and have five decades under your life, she's been stuffing shit for a long, long time. So the safer that I have created an environment for her to speak freely, and let her freak flag fly. She's got all sorts of shit she's wanting to say. And the more confident she gets in speaking it the more I don't sabotage my own shit in my life today.Lesley Logan 47:41  Oh my gosh, Tracy, like I could listen to you forever. Thank goodness, you have four episodes? To do. But I, I feel like we barely scratched the surface. Tracy O'Malley 47:51  We barely did. Lesley Logan 47:51  Yeah, well, I know we'll be having you back. But also, I just know that every single person listening to this, the thing that's keeping them from being it till they see it is the inner work that they maybe think they've done or thought they did or have been avoiding doing. And I love all the things you've offered us. You guys, go listen to the podcast, go take a look at that blueprint and also like work with you because it will change your life and you can start to see people you know, just like not even as powerful as Enneagram but when I read the four tendencies, and I was like, hold on. Okay, so Brad's probably a rebel. I'm an upholder. That's an interesting combination as a couple, here we go. But then I sort of see different people and like, like some people, like this person is so annoying, and like they're a questioner, and it is annoying. And they will get in their own way, because they'll just keep asking, but you know, once you can start to like pinpoint things. And so I feel like having the Enneagram being a guiding light as a compass is gonna make your life so much easier with the people around you, the people you're trying to support. Every single person this episode I know is trying to change people's lives. And whether it's five people or 5 million people like you have to understand how to serve them. And so Tracy, you're just amazing. Thank you for your gifts and thank you for sharing with us. I can't wait to hear how people are going to use these tips in your life. Make sure you tag Tracy, tag the Be It Pod. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.Lesley Logan 49:06  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.Lesley Logan 49:33  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 49:48  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 49:53  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 49:58  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 50:05  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 50:08  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We're diving deep into the world of transformation with bestselling author Jake Kelfer. In this episode, Jake unveils the driving force behind his journey into writing, sparked by a personal catalyst that propelled him to pen his bestselling book. Jake sheds light on how books have the power to redefine our paths, challenging us to confront doubts head-on and embrace the unique narratives that shape our lives.   But we didn't stop there. Jake's insights extend far beyond the mere act of writing. He takes us on a tour through the book-writing process, demystifying its complexities and emphasizing its potential to revolutionize careers. From crafting a compelling brand identity to ascending the ranks of the bestseller list, Jake equips us with the tools and strategies needed to navigate this transformative journey with confidence and clarity.   Through Jake's guidance, we learn how to harness the full power of our books, not just as literary works, but as catalysts for business success and personal fulfillment. If you're ready to rewrite your story, unlock your full potential, and invest in yourself and your business, then this episode is a must-listen!   What you'll hear in this episode: [00:40] Introducing bestselling author, Jake Kelfer [01:00] What led him to write a book [05:20] Overcoming doubts and embracing your story [13:32] Demystifying the book writing process [19:50] The power of events for business growth [20:10] Crafting your brand through book writing [21:45] The journey from idea to bestseller [24:35] The transformational experience of writing and hosting events   Connect with Jake: On IG @jakekelfer   Get your free copy of "Big Idea to Bestseller" https://go.bigideatobestseller.com/free-book   Connect with Jess: Grab a spot at UNSCRIPTED Live https://jessicaburgio.myflodesk.com/unscripted-live   Join the Fuck Yeah Friday text community by texting “FRIDAY” to 619-332-3045 https://my.community.com/jessburgio?t=FRIDAY   Book your connection call with me https://calendly.com/unscriptedthepodcast/15-min-discovery-call   Create a state of flow and focus with Flocus and use code UNSCRIPTED at checkout to save 20% https://www.volarenutrition.com/   Get 15% off your Glōci order with code JESSICABURGIO https://getgloci.com/discount/JESSICABURGIO    Connect with me on IG @jessicaburgio   Learn more on my website https://www.jessicaburgio.com/

The World's #1 Personal Development Book Podcast!  Join the world's largest non-fiction Book community! https://www.instagram.com/bookthinkers/ Today's episode is sponsored by Ken Rusk, if you're ready to get UNSTUCK check out the links below: https://courses.kenrusk.com/ https://www.kenrusk.com/ ————————————————————————— In today's episode we have the pleasure to interview Jake Kelfer, author of “Big Idea to Best Seller” Jake Kelfer is a best selling author, high energy inspirational speaker and career elevation coach. He aims to inspire millions of people on their journey to achieving their own definition of success. Jake went from college to working with the Lakers and people would always ask how he landed such an amazing job at such a young age, well he answered the call and  went onto writing his first best-selling book to answer that question. And you'll get to hear all about his journey and  the valuable lessons he learned along the way. In this episode you'll learn about Jake's unique story of perseverance and ability to create a reality that worked for him, why books are crucial for business success, how anyone can write a book, why you don't need to have the “credibility” first but the book to gain credibility, and if you've been wanting to write that book but aren't sure where to begin listen up! We hope you enjoy this incredible conversation with Jake Kelfer ————————————————————————— To learn more about Jake and buy his book “Big Idea To Bestseller: How to Write, Publish, and Launch a Nonfiction Book To Grow Your Business and Make an Impact”  follow the links below: FREE BOOK: https://go.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookWebsite: https://www.jakekelfer.com/ Book:  https://a.co/d/1xRmpZw Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jakekelfer Facebook: https://facebook.com/jakekelferjourney Twitter: https://twitter.com/jakekelfer ————————————————————————— The purpose of this podcast is to connect you, the listener, with new books, new mentors, and new resources that will help you achieve more and live better. Each and every episode will feature one of the world's top authors so that you know each and every time you tune-in, there is something valuable to learn. If you have any recommendations for guests, please DM them to us on Instagram. (www.instagram.com/bookthinkers) If you enjoyed this show, please consider leaving a review. It takes less than 60-seconds of your time, and really makes a difference when I am trying to land new guests. For more BookThinkers content, check out our Instagram or our website. Thank you for your time!

Ready for your next business breakthrough? Whether you're drowning in ideas or struggling to find your voice, this episode has the answers you need. In this episode, 4x bestselling author and book coach, Jake Kelfer, will uncover the secrets to pinpointing the perfect book concept, focusing on what truly matters, and leading your audience on an inspiring journey. Tune in to learn how to  unlock your true potential as an author. Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - https://go.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

When you have a book, you are more likely to land that speaking gig you've always dreamed of. This has been the case for many of our authors at Big Idea To Bestseller and rang true for one of our most recent bestselling authors, Jen Mott. In this episode, 4x bestselling author and host, Jake Kelfer, dives into the fascinating journey of transformation from dissertation to bestselling book with one of Big Idea To Bestseller's latest bestselling authors, Jen Mott! Tune in as they uncover the secrets behind landing a paid speaking gig even before the book's launch. Discover why Jen felt compelled to share her powerful message in a book and how she turned her core pillars into the solid foundation of her writing. Prepare to be inspired as Jen reveals her incredible accomplishment of releasing not just one, but two books in less than a year! About JenDr. Jen Mott has been with Cincinnati Circus Company since 2006 as a juggler, stilt-walker, balloon artist, and fire performer when she also began college. Since then, she earned both with her undergraduate degree in Secondary Education for Spanish and completed her Master's program in Curriculum & Instruction from the University of Cincinnati. There she also had the opportunity to be part of the first ever Division 1 Lacrosse team for UC.In 2020, Dr. Mott earned her Doctor of Education degree in Leadership Studies at Xavier University, Cincinnati, OH where she initiated her research interest on Teacher Perseverance. She continues to serve Xavier University as faculty in the Educational Administration program and is now a bestselling author of the book: Teacherverance, based on that same research study, which seeks to inspire and encourage teachers and school administrators and give them reasons to stay.After a career in classroom teaching for Spanish and TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages), Dr. Mott moved into school administration and is currently a middle school administrator and Athletic Director in one of the largest public school districts in Ohio.In addition to her daily duties in the community that she serves, Dr. Mott has performed at a multitude of school presentations for students and/or staff. She has expanded her message of capturing our full potential and saying YES to new opportunities in the areas of business, organizational development, entrepreneurship and creativity. She also shares her research on teacher perseverance and retention for universal workplace takeaways in a volatile job market.Groups can work with Dr. Mott anytime they need help motivating leaders, employees, students and/or parents in unique, engaging ways that incorporate juggling and/or balloon storytelling from a professional in the field through workshops, keynote speaking, and anything else they can dream up together!Connect with Jenhttps://drjenmott.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/jen-mott/https://www.facebook.com/entertainingeducator/ https://www.facebook.com/jen.mott/Follow Jen on IG -  @j.mott and/or @entertainingeducatorConnect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - https://go.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

Ready to dive into the world of writing but not sure if the time is right? In this episode, host and 4x bestselling author, Jake Kelfer reveals the main signs you should watch for to see if you're ready to start your book journey. Tune in to learn when to trust your gut, how to share lessons learned from old scars in a healthy way, and the #1 thing that will separate you from your readers and turn your book into a bestseller. Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - https://go.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

This one thing might be holding your book back from greatness. Many authors hold back while writing because they are afraid of sharing too much in their book. In this episode, 4x bestselling author, Jake Kelfer shares how to  unleash the full potential of your book and create a lasting impact. Discover why your book should be the shortest length necessary to achieve the desired results, the power of giving the house with no gatekeeping, and why it's essential for building reader trust and loyalty.Listen in as he shares real-life anecdotes of authors who've experienced firsthand the impact of generously sharing their knowledge. From igniting readers' creativity to fostering genuine connections, find out why giving it your all in your book can lead to unexpected opportunities and loyal fans.Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - https://go.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer 

Betrayal leaves deep wounds, but it also opens the door to profound personal transformation. In this powerful episode, Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell recap Dr. Debi Silber's episode, discussing the intentional nature of betrayal, its impact on our lives, and the deliberate steps needed to heal. Listeners will find solace, understanding, and strategies for setting better boundaries and to prevent repeated betrayals.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Addressing concerns about insufficient teacher training and alternative learning paths.The personal impact of betrayal and its distinct nature from other traumas.How betrayal can be a catalyst for personal growth and transformation.Overview of the process and stages involved in recovering from betrayal.The importance of establishing strong boundaries to prevent future betrayals.Episode References/Links:The PBT InstituteStudio Growth AcceleratorOPC Summer CampCambodia February 2025 Early Bird4-Week Pilates ChallengeeLevate WaitlistLittle Readers Big Change  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  She said time heals all wounds but that does not apply to betrayal. And she said healing needs to be deliberate and intentional. Like you actually have to be deliberate and intentional with your healing. Lesley Logan 0:11  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 0:49  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the transformative convo I had with Dr. Debi Silber in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to the interview, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. Holy freaking moly. We have never had a topic on betrayal. Nope. First time and not only do we will talk about betrayal, but she is the leading doctor on betrayal. She has so much scientific information you guys if youBrad Crowell 0:57  TED talks, education from stage, workshops. She's an institute. Lesley Logan 1:23  If anyone in your life is like act like reacting to being betrayed in their life and other things that they're doing and they keep going well, I had this extra do this thing. Holy fricking moly, send them the episode. It was so informative, so good. And it's like, it's I mean, we'll get we'll get into it in a second. Anyways, today is April 4th, and it's School Librarian Day. Okay. Of course we're gonna highlight this day because we're all about the books on this podcast. So about this day, the day is observed to recognize the professionals who keep school libraries well-stocked in the books in perfect order. School librarians, I'm just gonna say, also librarians, if you're a public school public librarian this is you too, your school librarians spend long hours keeping the library organized, they also, they're also likely to be the first people to help students find the resources they need to learn. Pause. Yes, so many librarians I've heard on the news in the last year are the only safe person to suggest books to a lot of people. Anyways, they also encourage students pursue reading outside of academic text. School librarians are also responsible for creating an environment where students are motivated to learn. Their work is truly an accomplishment. With that said, if you didn't already know this, in 2024 OPC is supporting the nonprofit organization the Wheat Penny press and their program Little Readers Big Change along with Be It podcast, Rebekah Borucki, who runs it with every dollar spent so all you OPC members out there just know that you are part of providing free and low-cost books programming and funding for the creative arts to our most vulnerable communities and their most talented members. Thank you for being an OPC member and thank you for supporting reading. And we had Danny Brassel on who talked about like how he helps kids want to read and it's about giving them books that they actually want to read.Brad Crowell 3:06  That was a fun episode. Lesley Logan 3:07  I know. With Nick Hutchison coming up soon it's gonna be about how The Rise of the Reader. Brad Crowell 3:13  Jake Kelfer. Lesley Logan 3:13  Well, Jake Kelfer is for the writers. Brad Crowell 3:15  Yeah, but, books.Lesley Logan 3:16  And then, Nick is actually you're gonna learn how to retain what you're reading. Danny Brassel helps you get your kids reading and Rebekah Borucki who was recently a guest holy freaking moly, she is making sure that what we're reading is like making change. So. Brad Crowell 3:31  Pretty rad.Lesley Logan 3:32  You guys. Brad Crowell 3:32  Well, anyway, a sincere heartfelt thank you to all the OPC members out there. We love being able to donate to different causes. And we change, each year we pick a new cause and we get to donate throughout the year. And so we're really fired up to be supporting Little Readers Big Change along with you.Lesley Logan 3:54  Along with you. And you know, like support your local library. Brad's cousin is a librarian and she is like, all about like, getting me on Libby getting me to go get my library card and all that stuff. So like, support the libraries, they're really amazing and it's just, you know, look, you don't need to scroll so much. So anyway, okay. Brad Crowell 4:14  Read a book. Lesley Logan 4:15  This afternoon. So if you happen to listen to this in the morning, when it drops, you can still sign up for the Studio Growth Accelerator which is for Pilates teachers and studio owners who are ready to make some changes in their business and who want to learn and also work on your business. So you're going to get information and integrate it. Brad Crowell 4:32  We're going to be running through the proprietary Accel formula. A-C-C-E- L. Short for accelerator, y'all. Basically, we're going to we're going to really dig into how do you bring new clients in, how do you work with those clients to make them champions for your business so that they go out into the world and share your business with their relationships and it's going to be amazing. So if you're looking to jumpstart the growth of your studio, this is a great way to do it. Join me this afternoon there will be a three-day replay and if you missed it that's okay if you listen to this late, just DM us because you know we'll get you on the waitlist for the next time. The next one. Okay? PRfit.biz/accelerator. PRfit.biz/accelerator. Lesley Logan 5:19  And if you listen to last week's episode you understand that spelling accelerator is two Cs, one O. Brad Crowell 5:24  Hence the Accel... Lesley Logan 5:26  Well excel you could spell with an EBrad Crowell 5:28  ...programs. No, no. That's excel. This is accel. A-C-C-E-L-E-R-A-T-O-R. Well.Lesley Logan 5:35  Okay. Summer Camp. Okay, so I was, the time we tell the team when we're designing summer camp I'm like think American hot summer like, get like look up. Brad Crowell 5:46  What is it? What? Hot American Summer (inaudible).Lesley Logan 5:48  I was like, look up look at what Christopher Maloney is wearing. I want Brad to dress like that for the Zoom calls. Like I want people to have hot shorts. I want Elizabeth Banks like I Brad Crowell 5:59  Bradley Cooper was in there. Lesley Logan 6:00  Everybody who was in this show. (inaudible) I want, so here's the thing, the way I see summer camp for OPC is all the best parts of summer camp without the bunks, bunk beds.Brad Crowell 6:13  Without the bugs. Lesley Logan 6:14  Without the bugs, without the travel. Brad Crowell 6:16  Without the mean girls. Lesley Logan 6:18  Without the mean girls or the weird people or you know the shit food. So you can wear whatever you want, you can be off camera if you want, you can actually sign up and watch it later because you'll have lifetime access to the replays. But you do want Brad Crowell 6:32  That's a big event for us, y'all. This is not like two workshops. This is going to be like potentially like all-day events, two days in a row. Lesley Logan 6:39  It could be like, we're looking at potentially up to 14 or 16 events in two days. Brad Crowell 6:45  Crazy. Lesley Logan 6:46  We've been planning this for over a year because y'all loved summer camp so much last year, we had like the best time with summer camp. And so we are actually promoting early because we want as many people to be able to do summer camp with us. I'm like I want camp counselor shirts. I want the whole thing. So OPC.me/workshops. The reason why we want you on the waitlist even though you're like, Lesley, (inaudible) later. Correct. But if you're on the waitlist, you get the second-best prices of the early bird. The people who get the best best prices are those OPC members who are helping Little Readers Big Change. So, you want to be an OPC member to get the best earlybird. Second best is the workshop waitlist. Third best is hearing from the public. And fourth best is full price.Brad Crowell 7:29  Fourth best, fourth best.Lesley Logan 7:31  Okay. OPC.me/workshops. Also, Cambodia. As you mentioned in last week's episode, Brad. Brad thinks it's sold out. It's possible that it's sold out by now because it's April 4th, but we did schedule already and pick our dates for February 2025. Holy fricking moly, it's gonna be so fun. Like I said last week, best sunrises are in the February time and it's just before the weather gets hot. So you want to go to crowsnestretreats.com, crowsnestretreats.com to snag your early bird rate for February 2025.Brad Crowell 8:07  Yeah, join us it's gonna be amazing. I am so excited.Lesley Logan 8:11  I'm so excited. Oh my gosh, our October retreat, the people who are coming on this are freaking so excited. One of our girls is coming for the second year in a row. We've, because we've made some changes and like it's so fun. And we've got some eLevate members coming. We've got some OPC members coming. We've got some people we've never met coming and it's just gonna be a freaking blast. Brad Crowell 8:29  It's going to be amazing. Lesley Logan 8:28  So amazing. So, crowsnestretreats.com if you are wanting to come, if you're like Lesley when are you doing a retreat somewhere else? I don't have the time. I want to go there. And you can join at my house, come to my house. I would love to do a retreat somewhere else but I'm just going to tell you right now, the amount of work that goes into putting the retreat on that is an amazing, unforgettable experience is something you I can never express I could never actually share. And so while I would love to do a retreat somewhere else, I also would love one, of the reasons we did Cambodia retreat is because I think it's really, really important to see places in the world you might never see and a lot of places where people go on retreats just feel like a like America-like. And I really enjoy so immersing myself in a culture that's so uniquely different than my own. And seeing things that like it's just takes you out of your normal routine. You're 12 hours to 15 hours ahead. So like you are just really out of your routine. It's not the same timezone as your family like, I really love to get out and just be in a, in the village like being around other people and how the world is so different there.Brad Crowell 9:15  It's a transformational experience. I mean, I truly believe that when we have the opportunity to experience cultures that are not our own. It changes our perspective in a way that allows us to be more empathetic, more kind to others, more excited for other people, because they're people too, doing life the way they do life and it's different than the way that we do life but it allows this polarization that's happening in our, you know, in American society about others, like, you know, those other people, they're bad or something. You know, it allows you to see another culture in a way that is like, whoa, totally different than how we do things. But they're fucking great people, too.Brad Crowell 9:35  Oh, yeah. I mean, it also helps you vote with others in mind. Just a thought. Okay. So go do that. Come with us. Okay. And don't forget.Brad Crowell 10:36  If you love a good challenge and you're looking for one that's a four-weeker.Lesley Logan 10:40  You want to do my challenges. Come on, guys. The reformer challenge and mat challenge are available anytime. Which, I'm telling you, this is your prompt to sign up now. At OPC.me/challenge. Just pick the challenge you want. They are, it's the first week's 10 minutes, the second week's, 20 minutes. The third week is 30 minutes. And the fourth biggest (inaudible), 40 minutes. You see how that goes. Brad Crowell 11:01  Is that how it works? Lesley Logan 11:02  Yeah. And so, I want you to all do it, I want you to have some fun. I want you to get it out of your head and into your body. I want you to do it imperfectly. I had someone say, Ah, this is too fast. And I said, Great. Do it slower and just skip half the exercises. It's not about being perfect, you don't have to look like me. You don't have to do it like me, I even tell you to replace what you can't do with what you can. Pilates is the thing that helps you realize like how you talk and treat yourself. You are allowed to be imperfect and to be in process. And that's what this challenge is all about. It's super fun to learn how to do habits while doing it. So, OPC.me/challenge.Brad Crowell 11:36  Yeah. And you can pick either the mat or the reformer. How about that? Lesley Logan 11:39  How about that? Brad Crowell 11:40  Alright. So we had an audience question. And it was from Michelle. She said hi, I'm in a teacher training program that doesn't feel like it's giving me enough information and I'd love to learn from more from you about how to teach. Is OPC your only option? Lesley Logan 11:57  Yeah. Brad Crowell 11:57  And I just want to say first off, I'm sorry that you're in a program that isn't meeting your needs. And clearly, as a student, if you're going what the hell I expected more. That sucks. Lesley Logan 12:08  Yeah, so it sucks. I got this from our customer service team. And first of all, this is exactly why I wrote my book Profitable Pilates: Everything But the Exercises. And the unfortunate thing is, I don't think as many people get it before they choose a program. They get it after they choose a program. So I'll work on that. But a lot of programs have a lot to be (inaudible). And it's also just want to say to any teacher trainees listening, it is not totally your fault. In fact, it's probably not even your fault. You might be doing someone else's program. But the other thing is, is like we are an unregulated industry, the Pilates industry is unregulated, meaning that your massage therapist, do you all know, if you're living in the States, your nail technician had to take a state exam, like literally had to take a state exam for you to complain about a $15 pedicure, they had to take a state exam. And in the Pilates industry, there is an organization that has created an exam so you can be truly certified. But there's no, there's no regulation in this country. And that means people can create a training program. And there's something great about that you could just create a training program if you want one, and you need teachers. But when there's regulations, there are things like refund policies, there are ways that you can complain about the company, you can be treated with respect, they can't abuse you, things like that. So a lot of programs do have a lot (inaudible). And here's the other reason. Even if it's the best program in the world, when you're a new teacher, you cannot learn as much as you think. It's so much information. Brad Crowell 13:43  It's overwhelm. Lesley Logan 13:43  It is so much information, which is why everyone ends up doing a second training, which yes means you spend more money. So look, I really do feel free, Michelle, I love this question. You're not the only person to ask me something similar in the exact same week. So here's the deal. OPC is not the only option to learn from me, but OPC is the most affordable option. So I teach at least half the classes on OPC every single month. And we have themes. And if you like seeing how I connect exercises to exercises, take class with me. That's how it works. And guess what, take class with other teachers on OPC. They do the exact same, too and they do it with different body types. And that is so important. So please, please, please and $79 a month is not cheap, but it's not expensive. And if you are a teacher, it's a write-off. You can put it as your education. Brad Crowell 14:30  Education and training, y'all.Lesley Logan 14:32  So all the more reason to not be a sole profit, that's a different story. If you are wanting more you're actually wanting to learn with me. Right? There's a from and there's a with. That would be eLevate, which is our mentorship program. As we were recording this, we just wrapped day one of weekend two. It's another investment. I'm gonna be really honest. It is another investment that's on purpose. I want you to show up for you. And I only want to have 12 people in a group. So in order to dedicate over all the five weekends and tons of calls and all the time on one-on-one calls with you, it is an investment, but it is an option. So you can go to lesleylogan.co/elevate to get on the waitlist, we're probably going to open up applications for 2025 really soon. And we're really excited we have so many people who want 2025, we'll probably open up applications. And then based on who applies and who gets accepted, we will pick the times of the days we already have the weekends picked because we have the retreat picked. But I just want to say to anyone listening to this, Pilates teacher who just feels like their first training program didn't teach them enough. Let's just let it go. Just let it go. Just pretend that they did the best they can with what they had. You did the best you could with what you had. And that and just know that I did three training programs. So there you go. Brad Crowell 15:50  There you go.Lesley Logan 15:53  And it's because you can only take in so much. And then you have to go teach and you realize what doesn't work and you teach again, anyways.Brad Crowell 16:03  Well, Michelle, thanks for asking that. If you have a question for us. Just reach out, you can DM us on the pod on Instagram, you can hit up our Customer Support Chat. You can text us, all the things, however you want to reach out. Just ping us and you know, we might include your question on the pod. Okay, let's talk about Dr. Debi Silber. Debi Silber PhD, founder of the PBT Institute, a Pilates expertise in health and personal developments, to her innovative Post Betrayal Transformation Program. Drawing on her own experiences and extensive research, she has developed groundbreaking strategies for overcoming and fully healing from betrayal. And her groundbreaking strategies that she came up with, they went viral, like it was like a big deal. Like boom, that's what like really allowed her to shift into this role, you know, full-time. Lesley Logan 16:58  I, when I heard about her, I was like, Oh my God. We have to talk about this because I think we talked about other things that are around relationships, family, grief, all these other things, sex, all this stuff. But betrayal, I mean, and so maybe some of those episodes, you should go back and listen to after hearing this because if you have experienced betrayal Brad Crowell 17:19  Puts a different lens on. Lesley Logan 17:20  You may have hated what they said. Brad Crowell 17:24  Sure. Lesley Logan 17:25  Anyways, Okay, my turn. Brad Crowell 17:26  Yeah. Lesley Logan 17:27  One of the things I love is that we actually talked about how betrayal is a different type of trauma than death, disease or natural disaster. And I think it's easy to put betrayal in kind of like those same experiences of trauma. But she says it feels intentional snd we take it personally. And our entire Brad Crowell 17:44  Betrayal feels intentional. Lesley Logan 17:45  Yes, it feels intentional. And sometimes it might not even be, it might be all about them. But probably is, but our entire self gets shattered and requires rebuilding. She said rejection, abandonment, belonging, confidence, worthyness and trust, these are all demolished and have to be rebuilt. So if you have been betrayed, and you just feel like you are left, like, like an open wound and just shattered, you have and it's, it's not like you just rebuild a house or you like you just start dating someone else, or you go through a grieving process and remember them on special days, like it's, can be really difficult. Brad Crowell 17:46  Yeah, well, she talks about her five phases, which, you know, the best thing to do is to go back through, we're going to cover, we're going to cover four of the five phases a little bit later on in the pod. But, you know, she said something really interesting. She said, you don't outgrow betrayal. Like it's and she has the scientific proof to demonstrate that. Lesley Logan 18:56  Meaning if like you were (inaudible).Brad Crowell 18:58  Time doesn't heal all.Lesley Logan 18:59  And you feel like you're betrayed by your parents. You know, just like become an adult and you're good. Lesley Logan 19:04  Right, right. She was specifically talking about grief and time and the way that we talk about that societaly. Lesley Logan 19:11  She especially said time, she said time heals all wounds, but does not, that does not apply to betrayal. And she said healing needs to be deliberate and intentional. Like you actually have to be deliberate and intentional with your healing.Brad Crowell 19:23  Yeah, the you know, and so what's great is that she also has a process, she goes through, like, how does that happen? How do you do that? Right, but I just found that really, really intriguing because she's not just talking about divorce, you know, she could be talking about family, parents, siblings, best friends, you know. Lesley Logan 19:44  It could be a coworker.Brad Crowell 19:45  Yeah. She actually talked about her, your boss, and I was like, wow, that's crazy. I didn't even realize that, you know, I've been definitely betrayed at work in my old job and I was really hurt by that. You know, but I today like, you know, a couple years later, I just didn't even think about it until let's say this conversation, I was like, oh my god, that was me too. You know, so I, you know, there's a lot of context for betrayal in our lives. And she said, the amount of betrayal really depends on how close you are to the person on how close how much you allow them to weigh into your life.Lesley Logan 20:22  I agree. Because like, if you're betrayed by a coworker, that you saw Monday through Friday, a little bit each day, that is going to be hard and shattering. But if you switch jobs or get them out of your life, it's different than like a spouse or a parent because like they're, it's interesting, like I was listening to something recently, where if, like, certain breakups can feel so hard, because it's not that you're grieving the break up of the past, but also the future that you had with them. And if a betrayal is someone where there's a future that you had seen yourself going down with them, you discussed with them. That is also, that's part of the shatter that you're going through, because your future has also changed. What you thought was possible has changed. Brad Crowell 21:13  Yeah. Yeah, that's a that's a really fascinating point as well. You know.Lesley Logan 21:21  Now that I think about it, I feel like maybe there are people in my life who thinks I betrayed them, too. So now, I just felt like a little bit of a dick. It wasn't on purpose. I hope they don't think that but anyway, you know, I'm thinking about the person like what the way I, I don't think I always say like, I don't really think I did a great job breaking up with my ex, because I never broken up with anyone. And like, I'm sure they felt very betrayed in that moment. And I didn't know like, I was just like, no, we're just breaking up because I don't think we love each other that much. And one of the ways that I wanted to make sure that they didn't feel betrayed was like, I went through with the court proceedings we had against a family member of theirs, and I pretended to still be together. But I'm sure that felt like a massive betrayal to them, you know. And so now I think back, like, no wonder they were so shattered. And, you know, when that was all over, so I think it's really interesting. Like, it's even in your kindness, or most thought-out ways of doing things you can accidentally make someone feel betrayed.Lesley Logan 21:22  That's interesting. I definitely hadn't thought of that. I mean, for me, it was the other way around.Lesley Logan 21:35  I mean, you're so perfect, Brad, you've not even betrayed anyone. Brad Crowell 22:30  I sure have. Lesley Logan 22:31  I mean, you did quit your own band.Brad Crowell 22:34  That's betrayal. That totally is, you know, like, we, that's true. And that's a good way, that's a good thing to point out. And like, I wasn't trying to let down who's one of the people in my life, who was one of my best friends, you know, and we still, you know, but also, like, I've had business relationships go bad. I've had, you know, just life, right? Life's life is what we like to say. But still, no matter what the circumstance is, there is a sense of betrayal that can be felt by one party or the other, whether it's as dramatic as a breakup or a divorce. Or as you know, you know, like, hey, this, this program is over, I'm out, and then the person is no longer in your life anymore. Lesley Logan 23:15  Well, it's also interesting, okay, off-topic, but like, I'm just also thinking, like, for some of the things where I am, like thinking back, like maybe they felt very betrayed by me in that same moment, I also felt very betrayed by them. So it's so fascinating how it could be like, an equal betrayed experience.Brad Crowell 23:33  Well, yeah, I think I think that's.Lesley Logan 23:34  Now you have our back and it's (inaudible) explain that. Brad Crowell 23:37  Well, I think it's important to point that out, right? Like, because there's a reason that you chose to leave that relationship. And it was because promises were made and not kept. And so sure, it totally makes sense that you would also feel betrayed in that moment, which then was betrayal enough to cause you to take action, right? We're gonna talk about this. I'll talk about what I really loved about her after I say this with my you know, when my ex and I got a divorce, and then you and I started dating. The story that we've put out there is that I broke up with you two times. I mean, I literally did this so it's it's not a not a fake story. But we told everyone, we shared that I broke up with you twice and. Lesley Logan 24:17  People hate when we tell the story. They get so mad at Brad. Brad Crowell 24:20  They get so mad at me. Lesley Logan 24:21  They get so mad but he doesn't share.Brad Crowell 24:23  Well, I don't really share I wait till a certain point in the story to talk about why I did that for dramatic effect. But the reality of it is when you're listening to last episode and you're talking about the different stages that you know of moving through betrayal you know that Dr. Silber has created, I was almost stuck in one phase and that phase was like it was a keeping me where I was and I was operating out of fear and the fear was effectively I felt so betrayed so hurt by my ex, that I was almost unwilling to ever even put myself in the position again, to be betrayed in that manner. Right? Which is why when things started to get real, I was like, I got to get the fuck out. Like, I can't handle this, this is too much for me. I can't do it. I don't want to be hurt that way again. Right? And so I've never really thought of my divorce as betrayal. That term never came into my mind. But thinking about it now, I definitely felt betrayed.Lesley Logan 25:31  I mean, also, I think so. Because I think that like, how could you not feel betrayed? You thought you guys would be together forever. Like, there's a lot. There's, I mean, I think like, anyone who hears your story would go, Oh, my God, I felt so betrayed, which is why they stop hating you at that point in the story and start loving you.Brad Crowell 25:47  You know, on the introspective side, I wonder if I wonder how she felt betrayed. You know, and I don't actually. Lesley Logan 25:55  Okay, so now we have to talk. Okay, Melissa, we have to have Dr. Silber back, because now I need to know if people who are betrayed if the betrayer also felt betrayed, I need the studies. Brad Crowell 26:06  Yeah, I'm really interested in this.Lesley Logan 26:07  Melissa are you listening? Does she listen? Brad Crowell 26:11  Well, okay, so, you know, moving on here. She also, Dr. Silber, Debi, also said she looks at betrayal as an opportunity to completely catapult yourself to a level that you never thought was even possible. And I, you know, she said something really interesting about this, that I, you know, that sounds like, you know, just, you know, polish it up and make it like, you know, look good, feel good, whatever. But she was actually the story that she gave was, she had, she was always talking to herself, like talking down to herself. And, you know, because she would get lost. So she doesn't, you know, she's not good at following directions, or whatever, and would like end up someplace and be like, fucking lost again, I'm such an idio. I can't believe it. What's wrong with me. Right? And so the story that she's telling herself is like, you're bad at this, like, how come you always mess this up? And she reframed that in a way that allowed her to completely catapult herself to a new level that she never thought was possible by shifting the way that she talked to herself and saying, that is just adorable. You did it again. You know, and think about that, like, you're still probably frustrated with yourself, but you're not berating yourself and beating yourself up.Lesley Logan 27:36  Yeah, I think that's so important. Even if you've never been betrayed, like, Guys, we talk about this all the time at OPC, you have to like how you talk to yourself matters. It really does. Forget matters. It can literally change your day from being amazing and feeling happy to like, being depressed. And feel like a failure all the time. Anyways. Brad Crowell 27:57  Well, I mean, you know, we talk about speaking into existence and be it till you see it. You know, when you reframe the story, you're telling yourself it, it lends itself to creating an entirely new version of you, right, and then, as you have this positive self-talk and you're treating yourself with respect, you start to take a look at all the parts of you that you love, and you start to leave behind the things that no longer serve you, right, and then you start to not tolerate that negative part of yourself anymore, and it just shifts you, it changes you. And so, you know, it really, it's a really interesting, it's a really interesting idea, and I think it's worth pursuing you know? Lesley Logan 28:39  I love it. Brad Crowell 28:40  Alright, so finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Dr. Debi Silber? So she's talked about these stages. There are five predictable stages. And we didn't actually apparently cover the fifth stage. So I don't actually know what that is. But the first four.Lesley Logan 29:01  Another reason to have Dr. Silber back.Brad Crowell 29:03  The first four are the four table legs, right? She talks about the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual side of recovering from betrayal. And she said most people focus on the mental and the physical, or actually, I think she said the mental and the emotional. But she said there's two that people focus on most, they don't really focus on the other two sides. And so you're not creating a stable foundation. So that's stage one. And stage two is shock, trauma and D-Day or discovery day. This is the scariest of all the stages. It's a breakdown of the body, the mind the worldview, where you've gotten this news, you have a stressful response, which leads to you know, basically, chaos right? Chaos in your mind, chaos in life. Step three, then you shift into survival instinct, where you're grabbing anything or anyone to stay safe and alive. You're, you shift into practicality. We were referring to it a couple of weeks ago as fifth gear, you know as shit hits the fan, go up into fifth gear, you gotta power through figure it out, you're, you never leave time for yourself, you're always operating at this, like, where's when is the other shoe gonna drop whatever analogy you want to do. And she said, that's actually the most common place to be stuck in. And that's so that's stage three. Stage four is finding and adjusting to the new normal. Right? So now that like, life has shifted, after the chaos and like really the go, go, go of stage three, you know, can you downshift can you get back into stage into a place that isn't quite as high-strung, intense, anxiety, you know, anxiety-driven, all those kinds of things. She said, most people get stuck in stage three. So that said, going back to our Be It Actions here, she said if you are stuck in stage three, you should write these four questions down. Number one. Am I numbing or avoiding distractions? You need to call yourself on it like call yourself on the walk to the refrigerator when you're opening the door, even though you're not hungry. Call yourself on the TV, you know, because you're desperately trying to drown out other sound the sound of your own thoughts. You know, what are you doing to distract yourself? Is it video games? Is it drinking? Is it? You know, running? Is it? I don't know what it is, you know. There's this lots of different opportunities. You know, the second question, what am I trying not to see? What am I trying not to see? Again, call yourself on it, such as that health issue that needs my attention. The relationship issue that I'm avoiding. The job that I absolutely hate, you know, there's avoidance, right is probably a pretty good indicator. And you know, it's hard, it's hard to address these things you're avoiding. You know, but it's the thing you're trying not to see, right? So number three, what is life going to look like in five or 10 years? If I continue to do the actions that I'm currently doing today?Lesley Logan 32:09  That's a hard oh my god, oh.Brad Crowell 32:12  Yeah. You know, like, I think I remember, I remember, when I was going through my divorce, I decided to just start drinking. And, you know, I was drinking a lot. And I was feeling like garbage the next day when I would go into work. And after a few months, it was bad enough that I was like, Okay, I pretty much hate the way I feel i can't function. And if I keep down this road, I didn't think five or 10 years later, I literally thought like, in two more months, I'm gonna be toast like I can't do this anymore. And that, that was like a really interesting, like introspective moment that where I was interested in making a change, you know? So I think this question is helpful to be reflective on yourself, what is life gonna look like in five to 10 years? And then number four, is what can life look like, in five or 10 years, if I make a change today? So that's a really encouraging one, that's a really exciting one, it helps you see the future, see the vision of what could be for you if you're going to make a change in your life today. So, you know, when you're stuck in stage three, you know, which is again, survival mode, basically. You know, these are four questions that you can help, you know, ask yourself to help you shift through it.Lesley Logan 33:40  Yeah, I had a Be It Action Item about repeat betrayal, repeat betrayal. So this is if you like, find like you keep getting betrayed. She said you are lovable, worthy, and deserving. But she also said, for the Be It Action, you need better boundaries in place. And we talk about this a lot with the people that we coach, which is like you train people how to treat you, which are boundaries. And I just want to say, just because we say that doesn't mean people won't betray you. But I do think you will feel it differently if you had better boundaries in place. Because you will probably see it before. Like, there's just you might be able to like you won't feel like it's happening to you. So I don't know, I could be wrong, Debi, you can tell me. But the reality is.Brad Crowell 34:31  You did talk about this because you asked her like, hey, you know, if I get betrayed again, do I have to go back to stage three? Lesley Logan 34:39  Yeah, yeah. So she said you need better boundaries in place and she's like, unless there's a benefit in learning the hard way. And she, she said as a targeted step, you can identify areas lacking boundaries or reflect on aspects of your life where boundaries are weak or nonexistent and set boundaries in place. And here's the deal guys. Guess what? When you put boundaries in place where there wasn't one, people might feel betrayed by that. You need to understand. Brad Crowell 35:08  It's possible. Lesley Logan 35:09  It's true like for my teachers who are listening, if you never charge for late cancels and you start charging for late cancels, people gonna be pissed. Because you didn't do it before. You have to own that you weren't doing that before. And you have to say, I understand. You don't have to apologize. I understand this change sucks. But this is business, I got to do it. If you have friends, if you have friends or family members who walk all over you, you know, and you start to like, stand up for yourself. They're gonna feel upset about that. They might even feel betrayed that you've changed. Yeah, how dare you? How dare you. Iliza Shlesinger will say on her podcast, you guys, I love her podcast if you know Iliza, I want her on the pod, like I didn't ask her because she just had a baby. But like, yes, I do. Because I mean, what a be it till you see it woman, but she is saying, she always says we have to be comfortable making people as uncomfortable as they have made us.Brad Crowell 36:01  Right. Lesley Logan 36:02  And so. Brad Crowell 36:04  That's fucking hard to do.Lesley Logan 36:08  She says that too. She's like, I know I tell you to do it doesn't mean I do it. But it's so here's the thing. Like, if you are feeling like people are overstepping boundaries that you haven't enforced, they're making you uncomfortable. And so you're going to enforce them which will make them feel uncomfortable. But you they've been making you feel uncomfortable, you have to be comfortable making them feel as uncomfortable as they make you. And another person I'm gonna quote is Lori Harder, which is like, we can't take away other people's rock bottom. So we cannot take away the lessons people need to learn. And sometimes it sucks to be the lesson someone has to learn. But that you are allowed to have boundaries that allow you to do this life better because I always say this, this is me quoting me. You are the only person who can do what you do the way that you do it. And if you burn out, if you are lost, if you feel stuck, the world loses your amazingness. And to have people like to have to be as amazing as I am. There are boundaries in place, y'all. There are and it's not always perfect. It's not always easy, and sometimes it offends people in ways that I didn't intend. Sometimes I have to go oh, shit, I didn't fucking think that would happen. Thank you for letting me know. Here's how it was intended. Here is how, like let's talk about it. Brad Crowell 37:30  I'm gonna, I'm gonna quote me. Fuck yeah.Lesley Logan 37:33  Yeah. So anyways, I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 37:36  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 37:37  Clearly we're gonna have Dr. Debi Silber back. Thanks, team for already asking her. Thank you for joining us today. How are you going to use these tips in your life we want to know. We want to know. Share this with a friend who needs it. Share this with a friend who's constantly feeling betrayed that you just want to give a little shake, shake to and little tough love to. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 37:58  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 38:00  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Lesley Logan 38:28  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 38:43  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 38:48  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 38:52  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 38:59  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 39:03  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Are you ready to take your business to the next level? This is the ultimate guide for entrepreneurs serious about growing their business with a book. In this episode, 4x bestselling author, Jake Kelfer shares a simple yet powerful framework to transform your ideas into a bestselling masterpiece. Whether you're overwhelmed or unsure where to start, he's got you covered. From the captivating Introduction to the game-changing Core Chapters and motivating Ending, you'll learn how to craft a book that drives business growth. With over 4 bestsellers under his belt and countless success stories, he's sharing his secrets with you. Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer Get Instant Access To Jake's Free Training: How To Write And Launch A Bestselling Book In 1 Hour A Day

The secret blueprint to adding 7 figures to your business is about to be revealed…Have a guess at what it is? WRITE A BOOK!In this episode, 4x bestselling author, Jake Kelfer, shares how writing a niche-specific book, blending education and entertainment will captivate your audience. He'll give you the inside scoop on how to launch it dynamically with a solid team, get early reviews, and keep consistent engagement. You'll learn the value behind giving it away strategically, allowing you to collect valuable data and expand your reach. With a niche-specific book, you'll be able to leverage your author status to secure speaking gigs and coaching opportunities, inviting your audience to take the next step with you. Tune in to learn how to monetize your newfound following by extending offers for your services or programs. Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - www.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer Get Instant Access To Jake's Free Training: How To Write And Launch A Bestselling Book In 1 Hour A Day

Ready to turn your book into a marketing machine? The secrets to crafting HIGH-CONVERTING content from your nonfiction book are about to be revealed!In this episode, 4x bestselling author and book coach, Jake Kelfer, reveals how turn your nonfiction book into content that will warm up your audience, engage them to take action, all while establishing your expertise and building credibility.Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller - https://go.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer Get Instant Access To Jake's Free Training: How To Write And Launch A Bestselling Book In 1 Hour A Day

It's time to debunk the myth that great books require endless time In this episode, 4x bestselling author and host Jake Kelfer proves you can craft a compelling narrative in just 17 days.Learn the importance of allocating designated time, maintaining consistent daily action, and effectively time blocking.When you embrace imperfection, resist the urge to edit prematurely, and discover the power of assembling the right team, you'll be holding your completed manuscript faster than you ever thought possible. Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, - https://go.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer Get Instant Access To Jake's Free Training: How To Write And Launch A Bestselling Book In 1 Hour A Day

Have you ever thought about writing a book? Many entrepreneurs have, however most never actually follow through. In this episode, we're discussing how a book can be the game changer to take your business to the next level of success.  Grab your copy of the book that changed my life here. https://go.bigideatobestseller.com/free-book New Book! The CEO Method: An Entrepreneur's Guide to Business Success coming 3/26/24 I would love to hear your biggest takeaways! Connect with me in the DM's over on Instagram @amytraugh Join us for our free weekly networking event, Coffee Talk, every Monday at 12:30 EST. Click here for details. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Would you believe that you can transform your business with a game-changing lead generation strategy that costs less than your morning coffee? In this episode, 4x bestselling author and Big Idea To Bestseller founder, Jake Kelfer, reveals the ultimate blueprint for acquiring high-quality leads without breaking the bank. Imagine attracting your ideal customers effortlessly, all for just $0.99!He'll walk you through the step-by-step process of creating a niche-specific book that positions you as an authority in your industry. Learn how to leverage social media to engage your audience and turn them into loyal customers, all while building your email list and boosting your online presence.Stay tuned because this episode is going to blow your mind! Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - https://go.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer Get Instant Access To Jake's Free Training: How To Write And Launch A Bestselling Book In 1 Hour A Day

Let's dive into the secrets behind creating top-notch nonfiction books that not only grab attention but also turn readers into loyal clients! In this episode, 4x bestselling author and Founder of Big Idea To Bestseller, Jake Kelfer, shares must-know tips to turn your book idea into a client-attracting powerhouse. He'll reveal how to find your niche and offer spot-on solutions to specific problems, how to blend captivating stories with valuable lessons, why you should keep your chapters simple, and how you can build genuine connections along the way. Tune in to learn how to get your audience in on the action early and why having your book professionally edited and designed is important to the credibility boost. Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - https://go.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer Get Instant Access To Jake's Free Training: How To Write And Launch A Bestselling Book In 1 Hour A Day

Jake Kelfer is a lifestyle entrepreneur, life elevator, and coach to ambitious entrepreneurs and freedom seekers helping people write and launch bestselling books. He is a 4x bestselling author, a high-energy motivational speaker, investor, and the founder of the Professional Basketball Combine which has helped 70+ NBA draft prospects turn their dreams of playing pro basketball into their reality. He and his work have been featured on Forbes, Sports Illustrated, ESPN, and many other major media outlets.  Connect with Jake Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV7K-Jabk3R6pzaQGkYJ_Lw Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/jakekelferjourney/ LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jakekelfer Website - https://www.jakekelfer.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jakekelfer/?hl=en Connect with David Public Website: www.davidihill.com Real Estate University: www.realestateuniversity.club  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/davidihill/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidihill 20-Minute call: https://www.davidihill.com/strategycall   FACEBOOK COMMUNITY Please follow and join my Group- https://www.facebook.com/groups/ptmastery/

Today's conversation is a special one, it's from an interview I recently did with Jake Kelfer on his podcast, Big Idea to Bestseller; it was such an incredible conversation, I had to share it with you here! Tune in for the HOW behind a $150K Launch ...    CONNECT WITH JAKE: Follow him on IG: @jakekelfer Check out his website: https://www.jakekelfer.com/ Check out Big Idea to Best Seller: https://www.bigideatobestseller.com/   CONNECT WITH JILLIAN Join Infinity HERE Follow me: @thejillianmurphy Visit my website: thejillianmurphy.com Join my Free Facebook Community: https://bit.ly/sellingsecretsgroup

Dreaming of seeing your name shining bright on a Times Square billboard? In this episode, host and 4x bestselling author, Jake Kelfer, delves into the real scoop behind PR and how it's not just about immediate conversions. He reveals how you can use it to shape perception and leverage your presence to align your PR strategy with your goals as an author. Tune in to learn why you should opt for a Times Square billboard, how you can use it to create high-quality content for multiple uses, gain a boost in SEO, and get instant credibility. Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - https://go.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer Get Instant Access To Jake's Free Training: How To Write And Launch A Bestselling Book In 1 Hour A Day

Struggling with imposter syndrome on your writing journey? You need to meet Stacia Hobson.Before joining the Big Idea To Bestseller program, imposter syndrome stood in the way of Stacia's bestselling book. In this episode, Stacia joins host, Jake Kelfer, and shares how she tackled the challenge of imposter syndrome as a first-time author. She reveals the inside scoop on her personal journey of overcoming imposter syndrome, the transformational process of turning her childhood dream into a reality, the driving force of purpose behind completing a rough draft in just 30 days, and how her unique experiences shaped a powerful process that became her book. Tune in to discover how the Big Idea To Bestseller program helped fuel the incredible growth and self-discovery Stacia experienced throughout her writing journeyWhat You'll LearnHow she overcame imposter syndromeHow she turned her childhood dream into a reality How her purpose drove her to complete a rough draft in 30 daysHow she used her experience to create a process that became her bookWho Stacia became in the process of writing her bookAbout StaciaStacia Hobson, co-owner of Image Industries Inc, began her career in the family business upon graduating college. Although her plan was never to work for the business let alone own it, she was the key driver in transforming the business from 100% distribution to 100% manufacturing.Today, she runs operations for her family's multimillion-dollar manufacturing business serving nine distinct vertical markets. Learning to navigate the “family politics” provided a sturdy and durable foundation for future growth..Stacia is acutely aware of what it takes to succeed as a woman in a male dominated, blue collar industry. She is passionate and proud to be in manufacturing as she feels that it is the backbone of the USA. With over three decades of experience under her belt, she has acquired extensive practical knowledge of business, relationships, and entrepreneurship.Stacia is employing her vast experience to provide business consulting services to guide leaders of all sized businesses to embrace the bold decision-making needed to achieve massive transformation. Her expertise lies in unlocking new possibilities while helping clients navigate the risk associated with these courageous choices. She leads by example and leans on her experience as she herself has made many daring decisions. She aims to create a “ripple effect” by encouraging individuals and organizations to fearlessly pursue their ambitions. By instilling a sense of empowerment and self-belief, she encourages her clients to envision and achieve what were once perceived as brave goals.Connect with StaciaCheck Out Stacia's Website - http://staciahobson.com/Connect on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/staciahobson/Connect on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/stacia.hobsonBuy Stacia's bestselling book, Move To Profit - https://www.amazon.com/MOVE-PROFIT-Relocating-Navigating-Increasing-ebook/dp/B0CMBJXLKFConnect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling Follow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer Get Instant Access To Jake's Free Training: How To Write And Launch A Bestselling Book In 1 Hour A Day

Unlock the secrets to leveraging your book for lucrative speaking engagements! Whether you're a seasoned speaker or aspiring to step onto the stage, you need to hear this episode.In this episode, 4x bestselling author and founder of Big Idea To Bestseller, Jake Kelfer, reveals how to maximize your speaking opportunities by leveraging your book. Learn how to create a keynote from your book's content, elevate your rates after launching your book, utilize your network and clients to boost book awareness, and turn your coaching methodology into a powerful formula for success.Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - https://go.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer Get Instant Access To Jake's Free Training: How To Write And Launch A Bestselling Book In 1 Hour A Day

Competition is at an all time high, especially in the online space. What if you had a single tool that would help distinguish you as the lead competitor in your industry?When you write a book it becomes a versatile asset, serving as a paid product, networking tool, onboarding gift, client-signing medium, freebie, and even employee engagement gem.In this episode, 4x bestselling author, Jake Kelfer, shares how to monetize your knowledge by turning your book into a paid product, generating passive income and acting as a low-ticket entry point into your offerings. You'll learn how to use it strategically to connect with industry leaders, kickstart client relationships, simplify customer decisions, and drive lead generation through various tactics.Your book is the key to standing out in 2024!Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling - https://go.bigideatobestseller.com/free-bookFollow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer Get Instant Access To Jake's Free Training: How To Write And Launch A Bestselling Book In 1 Hour A Day

Are you ready for a catalyst to securing speaking gigs, attracting clients, generating leads, and leaving a lasting impact? If you said yes, then you need to write a nonfiction book in 2024! In this episode, drawing from a proven roadmap that led to four bestselling books, host Jake Kelfer guides you through key steps to make your nonfiction book a reality in 2024. Discover how to crystallize ideas, seamlessly blend education and experience, and overcome the drafting process without fear of imperfection. From refining your manuscript with expert editors to crafting a compelling title and cover, Jake's expert tips ensure your book stands out. Learn the ins and outs of professional formatting and publishing and strategies for achieving bestseller status through campaigns, grassroots efforts, and a dynamic launch team. Connect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller. Just pay shipping and handling! Follow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer Get Instant Access To Jake's Free Training: How To Write And Launch A Bestselling Book In 1 Hour A Day

CLIENT LAUNCH EPISODE!! Bestselling author and Big Idea To Bestseller client, DK Ciccone, joins host Jake Kelfer to celebrate the launch of her brand new, bestselling book, You're Meant To Move. In this episode, Jake and DK reveal the power of leveraging a book over getting another degree and the game-changing impact it had on DK's career.Hear how she strategically used her book to connect with 150 perfect prospects right in her hometown! Find out the secret behind DK's booth becoming the talk of the town at a recent conference. Learn how having a book not only attracted attention but also created a buzz that left her booth completely packed!Join us in this eye-opening episode to explore DK's success story, learn valuable lessons, and gain actionable insights on utilizing a book to propel your personal and professional growth. What You'll LearnHow DK used her book to get in front of 150 perfect prospects in her hometownWhy DK chose to write a book vs getting another degreeHow to reframe your mindset when dealing with stress or painWhy having a book made DK's booth completely packed at a conferenceHow to heal yourself through movementAbout DKDana Karen (“DK”) Ciccone is a certified Pilates instructor who helps people in pain improve strength, mobility, and well-being in a weight-neutral environment. She's also trained in pain reprocessing therapy through the Pain Psychology Center. Having begun her own journey with chronic back pain as a young teen, she has been exploring ways to help herself and others regain joy of movement for decades. After twenty years in the health sector, DK left a corporate career to follow her passion, later launching Movement Remedies, a chronic pain–focused Pilates studio in Boston, Massachusetts. Her first book, You're Meant to Move: A Guide to Conquering Chronic Pain, Increasing Stress Resilience, and Reclaiming an Active Life, was released December 2023.Connect with DKVisit DK's Website - https://movementremedies.org/Follow DK on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/movement_remedies/Connect with DK on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/movement.remedies.llcBuy DK's Bestselling Book, You're Meant To Move - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CNW6NN7VConnect with JakeGet a FREE copy of Jake's bestselling book, Big Idea To Bestseller, when you cover shipping and handling.Follow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelferGet Instant Access To Jake's Free Training: How To Write And Launch A Bestselling Book In 1 Hour A Day

Are you contemplating writing a book but unsure on the optimal approach and which path is the most efficient? In this episode, 4x bestselling author, creator of Big Idea To Bestseller, and book coach, Jake Kelfer, shows you how to elevate your author journey in 2024.Big Idea To Bestseller has tailored solutions for every aspiring author. Join Jake as he breaks down which programs offer 1:1 dedicated coaching sessions, how to get top-tier service for an unparalleled book and post-launch strategy, and how to transform your vision into a powerful business asset. Connect with JakeText FREE to 661-669-7363 for a free copy of Jake's Bestselling Book, Big Idea To Bestseller Follow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer Get Instant Access To Jake's Free Training: How To Write And Launch A Bestselling Book In 1 Hour A Day

Elevate your business with the most versatile marketing asset – a book!In this episode, 4x bestselling author, book coach, and founder of Big Idea To Bestseller, Jake Kelfer reveals how a book elevates your business credibility and unleashes high-level marketing strategies you've been missing out on. Join in as he shares his journey - from a 23-year-old newbie to securing lucrative speaking gigs using his book. Learn the art of optimizing your manuscript for lead generation, leveraging Amazon's reach, and turning readers into leads. You'll find out how to distribute your book effectively, from podcasts to events, gaining visibility and leads. Plus, don't miss bonus tips on cold outreach using your book! Ready to harness the potential of your book? Connect with JakeText FREE to 661-669-7363 for a free copy of Jake's Bestselling Book, Big Idea To Bestseller Follow Jake: @jakekelferSubscribe to Jake's YouTube Channel - @jake_kelfer Get Instant Access To Jake's Free Training: How To Write And Launch A Bestselling Book In 1 Hour A Day