Dan Goldberg's 30 Second Podcast

Have you ever been given a nickname that's just not your cup of tea? Do you ever sling one back? Song sample from "Call Me" by Blondie Still from "Kroll Show"

Do you ever go to those nightclubs...cruising for action? That'sd fine and all, but really need to think of a better nickname for it. Song sample from "Meatman" by Jerry Lee Lewis Still from "Seinfeld"

Here's a story about my lovely grandma and her and her everlasting pursuit of the perfect side dish. Song sample from "The Food" by Common ft. Kanye West Still from "Goodfellas"

Sometimes when you got the doctor, you get way more than you bargained for. Lay back and assume the position! This episode delves into a "hole" new territory. Song sample from "Asshole" by Dennis Leary Still from "The Fantastic Voyage"

Do you ever see a cat out in the world and it's so effing cute that you instantly need to know everything about it? Well, that happened to me! Song sample from "What's New Pussycat" by Tom Jones

Did you know that the 30 Second Podcast is a reboot of an old-timey radio show from the old-timey days? Well, it is. Take a listen. Song sample form "I'm Leaving On The Morning Train" by Leadbelly Still from "O Brother, Where Art Thou"

A word to the wise! Treat our robot friends well now, lest they treat you in kind in the future. Song sample form "Mr. Roboto" by Styx Still from "The Jetsons"

I wanted to get to know my coworkers so I unilaterally decided to play a game with them. How do you think it went? Song sample form "Who are You" by The Who

Last week the Reel Debaters (@reeldebaters) had me as a guest on their podcast. We talked about movies, ate donuts, and of course, I managed to quickly annoy them on my short little podcast. Enjoy! Catch the Reel Debaters on all your podcasteries! Song sample form "Time is on My Side" by The Rolling Stones Still from "Back to the Future"

You never know where your life is going to take you. You may have veered from where you thought you'd be by now, but never forget your dreams. Song sample form "You Spin Me Round" by Dead or Alive Still from "E.T."

Forgetting someone's name is an embarrassing social foible, but I think there are greater social-mishap evils out there. Song sample form "Remember Me" by Eminem Feat. RBX and Sticky Fingaz Still from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit"

Once I saw a Twitter poll where the only question was "How dry is your inbox right now?" The most liked reply was "I'm basically paying $60 a month for an alarm clock" Since it's Valentine's day, I thought I'd let you know how I was doing that department. Song sample from "Boombastic" by Shaggy

We all get odd adds on social media for everything under the sun. Recently, I did see an add for an...er...men's health item, that was...intriguing. follow me on my journey. Still from "Anchorman" Song Sample from Wang Chung's "Everybody Have Fun Tonight"

We all have celebrity doppelgangers right? Well, how do you get those faux-paparazzo off your butt? Listen in... Song sample from Netflix's "Arrested Development"

Call me crazy, but I never enjoyed getting yelled at, especially when I was a kid and strangers would yell at me on a weekly basis, and for some reason it was never a problem. Song sample from "Shout" by Tears for Fears Still from "Billy Madison"

Since their name kinda sounds like "taco" I unleashed a podcast recording on my friend Toki under the ruse of a nice and relaxing Mexican evening meal. Hear what ensues... Song sample from "Everybody's Talkin'" by Harry Nilsson

They say that sitting is the new smoking but James Dean and the Marlboro Man did both and, look them now! If I wanted to stand all-day I would've been a carnie. Song sample from "Stand" by R.E.M. #30secondpodcast #30secondsoldiers #comedy #micropodding #standupcomedy #podcast #winnipeg #manitoba #canada #rem #standingdesks #officelife #ergonomics #buzzfeed #quiz #sleep

It's time for the 30 Second Soldiers to mount up! We are taking down the insidious Children's Television Network. Is THAT good enough for YOU?

What's in the news...What...is in...the news....More like what's on my mind. You'll see. Still from FXX's "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"

The universe is vast and full of the unknown. On this episode, I clue you into some things that you never knew you needed to not know. Song sample from "Why" by Annie Lennox Still from Warner Bros' "Batman Forever"

Turns out I got my podcast studio back up-and-running sooner than I thought thanks to the good people at Mission Repair Winnipeg. And to celebrate the triumphant and quick return, I give you, by far, one of the stupidest podcast yet. Well, I enjoyed it. Song sample from "Honey" by Moby Stills from "Glengarry Glen Ross" and "Winnie the Pooh"

Since for some stupid reason, this podcast is only 30 seconds long, and ads are 30 seconds long, this next episode is many words from one of our sponsors. Song sample from "Drive My Car" by The Beatles Still from "Reservoir Dogs"

Last week I was lucky enough to be a guest on Denzel LeBlanc's Wesley Studios podcast. I liked the equipment there so I hijacked it to play a game, of course. Check out the Wesley Studios Podcast on Apple and Google Play, and many other podcasteries. Also on YouTube! Song sample from “Apple Bottom Jeans (Low)” by Flo Rida feat. T-Pain @denzelleblanc_ on Twitter denzelleblanc_ on Instagram podcast #30 second podcast #30 second soldiers #comedy #micropodding #standup comedy #winnipeg #manitoba #canada,apples #games #granny smith #apple #imac #fiona #stupid

Y'know I could've been a prolific TV producer of people weren't always scooping up my ideas before I make something of them. Song sample from "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice Still from "Batman (1989)"

No. Not fencing..fences. They're everywhere these days and no one appreciates that your yard's fence is the last place that it's socially acceptable to get medieval on someone's ass. Still from "Orange is the New Black" Song sample from "Racing Stripes" by Aesop Rock

Pizza! Amazing! Delicious! Simple. Or so we thought. How can you mess up two slices and soda? Well, someone figured it out, and of course, I had to set it right. Enjoy this saucy slice of life, I hope it's not too cheesy. Song sample form "Pizza Butt" by MC Chris Still from "Home Alone"

Recently I was lucky enough to be a guest on the local radio show "Listening Pleasures" with host and long-time pal Tannis Kelm. She's such a good host, that she got me to open up about my short career as a spy in Winnipeg's Dry Cleaning industry. Set your headphone to permanent press while we iron out the truth. Hear CKUW's Listening pleasure at 95.9FM Winnipeg on Tuesday Evenings at 11PM CST or online here https://ckuw.ca/programs/detail/listening-pleasures Song sample from "Secret Agent Man" by Jonny Rivers Still from "Seinfeld"

They do, in fact, sell food at 7-11. And it tastes good. There I said it. We've all eaten it but we know it isn't the proudest experience. I know how we can keep our shame and embrace the true nature of eating. Song sample from "7/11" by Beyonce Stills from an ACTUAL 7-11 commercial...look it up

Happy New Year 2020. New Year's day is a great time to relax and think about what the next year will have in store for you, but also don't forget to show some appreciation for a star we all love who's celebrating a birthday today. Still from FXX's "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"

Have you ever pushed the elevator button, had it light up, and then someone who must be better than you at everything pushes the obviously lit up button again as if you did it wrong? Well, I know what we can do with a person like that. Happy new year! Song clip from "Danger! High Voltage" by Electric Six Still from Paramount Pictures' "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"

Science! What a mystery! It shouldn't be a mystery, but sometimes I get the feeling that scientists cover-up their mistakes with even more smart-sounding sciency words and we all go along with it because they wear lab coats and have glasses. I'm onto you science!! Still from New Line cinema’s “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” Song Sample from “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” by The Smashing Pumpkins

Here's a little story of Christmas potluck of Yore, at old office mine, many paybstubs ago... Song sample from "Don't Tell 'Em" by Jeremih ft. YG  

During the holidays, it can sometimes be tricky greeting people in a festive way, if you don't know exactly how or if they festivate. Luckily, as usual, I fixed it! You're welcome!! See you at Max's.

Did you know that I'm a master impressionist? Well, I am! And here's a little taste, but just a warning, due to certain format restrictions I had to make some compromises. Stills from “Pulp Fiction” and “Predator” Song sample from “Monster Mash” by Bobby “Boris” Pickett

In today's episode I talk about one of my most favourite, frequent and regrettable indulgences, eating at night. Except this time, I don't exactly talk about it... Still from "Sausages" by Kids in the Hall

Since it's the holiday season, I'd thought I'd offer a few tips on how to look your best at all those parties you have to go to, including how to get your 30 Second Podcast merch, and how to prepare for an ugly sweater party. Happy holidays!

I was lucky enough to be invited on Ronald G. Moore's Moneyshot Podcast (available wherever podcasts are bold) and sure enough, I invaded his podcast with mine. And because we all know how much of a player I am, naturally, I ask him to play a game. @ronaldgmoore on twitter

There are all sorts of side-hustles out there I was lucky enough to be tipped off on one at my day job, of all places. Let me school ya on getting that CA$$$H!

In this episode, I bring you a fun fact from the world of myth. Oh, and by the way, you're welcome for giving you that "something new" you're going to learn for today.

We all remember and love those old-school two-stick popsicles from the grocery store, but did you really share them. Let's reminisce.

Today I'm presenting my own interpretation of one of my favourite movie monologues. This episode is such a tasty burger, you're going to need some delicious soda to wash it down.

Have you ever noticed that the best way to make positive changes in your life is to do it AT somebody? I have a new product idea that will help you get it done as long IT is meant to belittle one of your haters.

As usual, I'm here to help and today I'm offering a two-pronged solution for combatting climate change. You're welcome Gen Z!!

Stranger Danger! Some strangers are dangerous..to your ego. That still counts though.

Here's a quick tip for making the most out of a small living space.

There's still something to be said for dating the old-fashioned way.

In the Walmart return system, the people are represented by two separate but equally important groups: The customers, who return everything they buy, and the return desk associates, who don't care one bit. These are their stories. DUN DUN

I'm all for a helpful store clerk, but there is such a thing as too helpful. Apparently they didn't know who they were talking to.

What's inside those little cellophane-wrapped treats at Chinese restaurants? Is it magic? Is it an omen?

We all need to save mobile data, and I'm just trying to help.

Sometimes you have to wonder about your fellow public transit riders and what they have planned for the day after they pull cord and de-bus.