DeHuff Uncensored

I have a small and weird list of things that bug me. A Frenchman earlier this year discovered a gold treasure worth $800,000 while digging a swimming pool in his garden. Which reminded me of when I had to bury our family dog in an awkward place. Worst time-capsule ever! MaineHealth apologizes for sending death notices to 500+ living people. I blame the lazy I.T. guy. Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz are reportedly in talks with movie executives to reunite for the next instalment of “The Mummy” franchise. Rico Dowdle was fined $14K for Key & Peele celebration, so he started a GoFundMe for charity. My awkward interaction with a fan. Stories of stealing things from the workplace. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When my lame joke went viral. 3I Atlas research team could have Kim Kardashian as a new member. Fighting at a Texas Bass Pro Shop because someone took too long in the bathroom. Chrysler recalls 320,000 SUVs, telling owners to park outside over battery fire risk. The Denver Broncos record is a tad fraudulent. When is the best time to be a sports junkie? Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dog peed on United flight out of Denver. Thieves stole $80k of whipped cream. I have theories of who took it and why. Apple Pie-flavored Kraft Mac & Cheese and Jason Biggs of American Pie team up! Tom Brady revealed that his dog Junie is a clone of his late dog Lua, thanks to Colossal Biosciences. The Broncos are wearing their throwback uniforms again!!! The Jets are trading Sauce Gardner to the Colts. Colts are trading two first-round picks to the Jets. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Someone in Kentucky mistakenly received a package filled with arms and fingers. Musician/actress, Lily Allen, gave out butt plugs at her album launch party. This of course gave Connery DeHuff an idea for pod merch. The artist who duct-taped a banana to a wall and sold it for millions, is now selling his $10M solid gold toilet. The Denver Broncos refuse to quit, as they pull off their sixth win in a row, beating the Houston Texans. The Bengals are falling apart, starting with its defense. Chase Brown ripped them to the media. Paxton Lynch signed with the Colorado Spartans arena football team. We hear from Paxton the Pirate. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

New details for Mississippi monkey gate…. Who knows what the truth is??? A Pittsburgh radio host followed through on a wager and pierced his nipples because the Bengals beat the Steelers. 3I Atlas - if it's aliens, then what? Cowboy DeHuff previews the Denver Broncos Houston Texans game. Can Sean Payton be All Balls and call a game that combats the Texans high powered defense? Nikola Jokic had another triple double! Four games, four triple doubles. Charles Barkley of ESPN, ripped NBA players that can't handle being coached. Halloween is here, and I share some scary stories. I even share some audio from my dad, Jack DeHuff, who passed away in 1984. While going to Denver Seminary, he recorded his spiritual and supernatural experiences. Plus, we hear some Halloween fails. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Truck hauling aggressive monkeys infected with hepatitis C, herpes and COVID overturns on Mississippi highway, and one is still on the loose. Aussie the Animal Expert explains what to do if you encounter it. You can now order your home robot named Neo. It'll cost you $20k or $500 a month. We have audio of what it will sound like if it had a Terminator voice.  Is A.I. leading us to the world of “Wall-E” and “Idiocracy”? Dictionary.com added "67" as a new word. And now I dislike dictionary.com. Harry Caray DeHuff gave his thoughts on Shohei Ohtani of the Dodgers, because Mark Schlereth screwed up with Joel Klatt. You'll see what I'm talking about. Denver Broncos signed 41-year-old tight end Marcedes Lewis. The Monforts and the Rockies screwed Colorado baseball fans out of enjoying the World Series. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Bonnie and Clyde in Scottsdale, Arizona? A couple broke into a restaurant, banged, then stole some things. Kourtney Kardashian signed a deal with Target to sell the v@gina lollipops. World Series game 3 was nuts. Shohei Ohtani got on base 9 times!! Then Freddie Freeman closed the deal in the bottom of the 18th. Denver Broncos cornerback, Pat Surtain II suffered a pec strain, and is considered Week-to-week. Jokic is shocking the NBA world three games into the season. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The characters take over!  Gen Z and Millennials are wasting their money on dumb stuff. Pumpkin carvers focus on Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, but neglect his gourd. Veteran employee accidentally released the plane's emergency slide. Biohacker says he got rid of 85% of microplastics from his semen. Is Deion Sanders about done with the University of Colorado? Cowboy DeHuff gives you his All Balls awards for the Broncos big win over Dallas. The Las Vegas Raiders signed Tyler Lockett in hopes of finding a spark with Geno Smith. Browns fans are calling for Kevin Stefanski to be fired. - Will the Browns trade Shedeur Sanders before the NFL trade deadline on November 4th? Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Don't gamble with Chauncey Billups. He was arrested by the FBI for a gambling investigation. The Denver Broncos host the Dallas Cowboys. Cowboy DeHuff tells you who needs to be all balls in order for the Broncos to get the win. Jerry Jones may be looking for the elusive Mile High glory-hole. Would you eat that? Jimmy John's is set to release their bread replaced by pickles - sandwich. She can't be that dumb, Polish woman blames Google for her falling in an Italy canal. The Rockies should hire a Little League coach to be their new GM or manager. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Six seven craze is our zombie apocalypse. Thieves in Madrid steal over 1,100 chairs. Nobel Prize winning scientists may help people breathe through their anus. Russell Wilson gets mad at Broncos head coach Sean Payton. The Pro Bowl games are moving to Super Bowl week, and it's a hail Mary attempt to justify having the games. Denver sports media lost to the Nuggets coaches - 114-16. I explain why I'm disappointed, but not shocked. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cowboy DeHuff didn't drink his coffee today, and he reacts to the latest news. Dre Greenlaw got suspended one game for saying something to the ref after the Broncos beat the Giants. The Dodgers will take on the Blue Jays in the World Series. KOSI will go all Christmas music in early November. Kid in Brooklynn is trending in the business world at age 8. Teacher files a police report after her $300 Hello Kitty collectible is stolen by a student. Human teeth were found in food at a Sam's Club in China. Texas Tech is banning the throwing of tortillas. Bloodsport is still a cinematic masterpiece. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Want to see a ghost? I give you the list of states that it'll most likely happen. Connery DeHuff asks a huge question about ghost sightings. Sounds like the plot for a new Ocean's 14 movie - four thieves broke into the Louvre on Sunday and made off with royal jewels once worn by France's queens and empresses. The Denver Broncos had a historic come from behind win to beat the New York Giants. That's great and all, but can they start playing a complete game, please? Miami Dolphins, New York Jets, and Las Vegas Raiders could be in the market for a new QB. Which would be a good fit for Shedeur Sanders? And I helped coach our Little League baseball team to a Fall Ball championship. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Space orgies are right around the corner. In fact, Amazon founder, Jeff Bezos, says humans will be living in space by 2045. OpenAI's ChatGPT will soon allow 'erotica' for adults. A New Zealand company sells non-alcoholic wine for pets. A driver stopped in California for using a hand-drawn license plate. Aaron Rodgers (41) and Joe Flacco (40) will be just the second matchup of starting quarterbacks 40 or older in NFL history. Jonathon Cooper was named AFC Defensive Player of the Week. Nik Bonitto won it last week - it is the first time in team history that two Broncos were named AFC Defensive Player of the Week in back-to-back weeks. Cowboy DeHuff breaks down how the Denver Broncos can defeat Cam Skatteboo, Jaxson Dart, and the rest of the New York Giants. We continue to receive entries for nicknames for the Ohio lady that sliced open her boyfriend's nut sack. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Chiefs have benefited from slanted officiating from 2015 to 2023, according to research done by a team at UTEP. Who requested bush underwear? Kim Kardashian has released her Faux Hair Panties from her SKIMS company. Getting your wedding sponsored is a potential new thing. TIME magazine did Trump dirty with his cover photo. SuperWood is stronger than steel, and a nerd's attempt at writing comic smut. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Gorilla named Denny, at the San Diego Zoo broke a layer of protective glass in its enclosure on Saturday. MTV is shutting down its last music channels. Most Americans finish their candy before Halloween, a new survey reveals. Greg Penner talked about the plans for the new Broncos stadium. Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin is confused by the Cleveland Browns trading Joe Flacco. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ohio woman is wanted for cutting her boyfriend's ball sack open. Security stepped up at the World Conker Championships after last year's steel nut conspiracy. The Denver Broncos just edged out the New York Jets. While the Broncos defense was All Balls, the Denver offense was far from that. Broncos head coach Sean Payton admitted that they are a “defensive team”, and that's good news. Dolphins QB Tua Tagovailoa called out his entire team, and as NFL legend Chad Brown stated, “Never air the team's dirty laundry in public. Never.  Never point the finger at someone else on the team without including yourself. Never.” A terrible human asked, “Should I tell my neighbor about the alligator in the lake we swim in?” Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

An Orange County firefighter was put in jail last week after she was caught scattering dozens of opened tampons across her ex-boyfriend's lawn Pick County, Florida, a man was arrested then went through a body scan at the jail. They discovered a thermos up his poop shoot. An 82-year-old woman in China swallowed eight small live frogs, believing it would alleviate her lower back pain. It made things worse. LeBron James is being sued by a fan for his Hennessy announcement. The Denver Broncos should demolish the New York Jets in London. Bystanders helped a fire captain save three lives during a helicopter crash. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Florida bar live-streams its customer activity so creepy people can watch from home. I can't stand the heat. But I was almost in an adult film. Wait, could I be an Only Fans producer?!?! El Cortez Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas will pay someone $5,000 to investigate for paranormal activity. Noisy TV commercials were banned in California. Jerry Jones is being fined by the NFL for jokingly flipping off Dallas Cowboys fans. If I was covering the Denver Broncos in London, right now… What would the DeHuff spin be? Joe Flacco was traded within the division - to the Bengals. And, Cincinnati is expecting him to play on Sunday. Shedeur Sanders is now the number two QB for the Browns. Nik Bonitto has been named AFC Defensive Player of the Week for the first time in his career! Why the heck is “fart” trending on X? Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

My characters take over the show! 'Alien' DNA lurks inside the human genome, a scientist claims. Taylor Swift's song “Wood” is about Travis Kelce's man junk. Diddy is requesting to serve his prison sentence at Fort Dix. The Jaguars beat the Chiefs, and Chris Jones gave up on the last play. LeBron James tricked people into thinking he was retiring. And all he did was promote Hennessy. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Run an ultramarathon and eat Taco Bell at least 9 times. San Francisco has a dog poop problem in restaurants and grocery stores. Mark Sanchez got stabbed the night before calling the game in Indianapolis. But, it sounds like he deserved it. The Denver Broncos beat the Philadelphia Eagles, and Eagle fans are putting on their tinfoil hats. Cowboy DeHuff gives his All Balls awards. Emari Demercado of the Cardinals busted a 76 yard run… but dropped it at the goal line. The Las Vegas Raiders have a QB issue. Geno Smith is terrible. Should the Raiders trade for Browns QB Sheder Sanders? How to fix the Super Bowl halftime show. Pat Shurmur is a product of his quarterbacks - Shedeur Sanders and Peyton Manning. So when he doesn't have a good one, like now at CU, he sucks at calling plays. If Deion Sanders makes this his last season at Colorado due to health reasons, we should all be fine with that. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We have a raccoon problem.  Podcasters are the new version of shock-jocks. I honor comedy legend, Bert Kreischer, by doing the show shirtless. Holiday Inn Express adds scent-based alarm clocks to rooms for Australia, New Zealand, Singapore, Thailand, and Japan. Taco Bell Cantina is opening two locations in Denver, on of which is at DIA. Ryanair flight from Milan to London was diverted to France after two passengers began acting strangely. One person started eating his passport, while the other attempted to flush theirs down the toilet. Cowboy DeHuff explains why the Denver Broncos will beat the Philadelphia Eagles in Philly. And my pick for the World Series. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Australian scientists test the strength of shark bite-resistant wetsuits. An Egyptian wrestler, Ashraf Mahrous, is hoping he has set a world record after pulling a 700-ton ship with his teeth. Police in Northern California pulled over a Waymo taxi after it made an illegal U-turn. The Rockies will begin the search for a new general manager after Bill Schmidt steps down. Titans rookie QB Cam Ward is not having a great season so far. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Mr. Beast is under fire for trapping a man in a burning building, all in the name of content. A Vietnamese man who hasn't cut his fingernails in three decades earned a Guinness World Record when they were measured at a total 19 feet and 6 inches long. Actress Tilly Norwood is taking heat from Emily Blunt, Whoopi Goldberg, and others… BECAUSE SHE'S A.I.! Liam Coen, head coach of the Jaguars, and defensive coordinator Robert Salah for the 49ers, got  into a yelling match after the game. Rex Ryan ripped Shedeur Sanders. The Broncos hammered the Bengals. Bad Bunny will be the halftime show for Super Bowl 60. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You could own life-size dinosaurs due to a New Jersey Dino Park shutting down. The latest on the comet named 3I/ATLAS that is ripping through our solar system. Connery has a plan. An Amerisleep.com survey of more than 1,200 Americans revealed that 37 percent used vacation days in the past year just to rest. Federal inspectors detected cesium 137 in a shipment of cloves sent to California, but blocked the import from Indonesia. The CU Buffs could have beaten BYU, but their QB Salter just doesn't have high football intelligence.  Ashton Jeanty is starting to click with the Las Vegas Raiders. The AFC West is the best division in the NFL. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ben Stiller has an expensive healthy soda called Stiller's Soda. This takes Connery down memory lane. Hershey wins lawsuit claiming its Reese's Halloween candies aren't spooky enough. The French navy has seized nearly 10 tons of cocaine worth more than $600 million from a fishing vessel off the coast of West Africa.   Mailbag: Was it childish or funny that Trump replaced Biden's picture with an auto-pen? Why I favor radio over video. My awkward encounter with Detroit Lions legend and hall of fame running back - Barry Sanders. If the Denver Broncos miss the playoffs, should the Broncos move on from Sean Payton? Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

That awkward moment people try to return to work after quitting for the Rapture. Multiple people have been attacked by squirrels in California. Bad enough to go to the emergency room. A Florida Woman has been arrested for an alleged Silly String attack against a local man. Radioactive shrimp are now affecting 34 states… including Colorado. MLB will implement the Automated Ball-Strike Challenge System in 2026. Russel Wilson of the New York Giants, will now be the backup behind Jaxson Dart. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Tom Brady joins robotic massage company Aescape. Cue up the Deshaun Watson jokes. A teaching assistant in South Carolina was arrested and charged for allegedly using "poop spray" at a high school. Mark Schlereth used my line on the Rich Eisen show when talking about Tampa Bay Buccaneers QB, Baker Mayfield. Tom Brady angered PETA during the Cowboys Bears game. We give you anti-animal language phrases. The NBA admits Nikola Jokic is the best player in the NBA. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Public toilets in China are now requiring users to watch advertisements to access toilet paper. And Samsung confirms ads are coming to its smart refrigerators. Japanese researchers received the 2025 Ig Nobel Prize in biology for painting stripes on cows. Mississippi strip club will have biscuits and gravy wrestling. Is it time to panic about the Denver Broncos after their loss to the L.A. Chargers? Is the Bo Nix hate justified? The Colorado Rockies can't even suck right. They surpassed the 41 games win mark over the weekend, edging out the 2024 White Sox - Worst record post 1900, the modern era. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Uber will soon be delivering food with drones across the United States. South Park didn't get their episode done in time, which was probably a good thing considering they use a lot of current news in their episodes. Tom Cruise is set to return as Cole Trickle in Days of Thunder 2. What if movie reboots were more realistic?? Colossal Biosciences is making headlines again! They brought back the dire wolf. They're working on woolly mammoths, and the Tasmanian tiger. Now, a breakthrough with the dodo bird. Cowboy DeHuff tells you who needs to be All Balls for the Broncos against the Chargers. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A.I. can't even write a good headline. So if you use artificial intelligence, you better check its work. Here's the article A.I. or a lazy employee messed up into greatness - HERE! UFC boss man, Dana White, rips Jake and Logan Paul for their gimmicky lopsided fights. Jake Paul and Gervonta Davis' fight has been canceled in Atlanta, Georgia for being a “money grabber”. Fake Adam Schefter tells us that Sean McVay, Rams head coach, says he tore his plantar fascia when calling a timeout. Injuries for the Chargers and Bengals are good news for the Denver Broncos. Khalil Mack and Joe Burrow are both out for the games against the Orange and Blue. Peyton Manning is now more of a Broncos than a Colt. Spaceballs 2 should not cast Chris Candy (John Candy's son) as Barf Jr. It should be Shane Gillis. Cowboy and Connery DeHuff on how to deal with gym goers who wear too tight of clothes. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Update on the two teenagers who peed into a pot of broth at a hotpot restaurant in China. Cheating scandal rocks the World Stone Skimming Championships in Scotland. Also, my Scottish accent needs a lot of work. Australia approves world's first vaccine to fight Koala chlamydia epidemic. Baker Mayfield and Bo Nix are cut from the same cloth. Shedeur Sanders is getting screwed in Cleveland. The Seahawks scored on the Steelers in a bizarre way. Having sex at work while at home - probably a bad idea. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The Denver Broncos defense is exposed as a fraud after losing to Daniel Jones and the Indianapolis Colts. Not a good idea: A doctor walked out of an operation for sex with a nurse. A cookie dough canister exploded in a thief's back end. Dolphins head coach Mike McDaniel has some odd words of "wisdom" after their loss to the Patriots. He may be getting fired soon. The Kansas City Chiefs are 0-2, and Travis Kelce isn't helping the team. #news #newsupdate #breakingnews Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Broncos QB Bo Nix is learning from his mistakes - hopefully. Cortland Sutton shows leadership strength by getting Bo Nix's back. Cowboy DeHuff tells you who needs to be All Balls against the Colts. Lamar Jackson apologized for shoving a fan that shoved him and DeAndre Hopkins. Mailbag is full of listener questions, and we have some fun with it. And I give my thoughts on the Charlie Kirk assassination, school shooting in Colorado, as well as 9-11 anniversary.

UBER helicopter rides are coming as soon as next year in the U.S. Annoying fire rescue in England sends firefighters up a tree to save a lizard. A U.S. drone shot a Hellfire missile at a UAP, and the missile basically bounced off of it. Colorado Buffaloes head football coach Deion Sanders ripped the media, and they deserved it. The Denver Broncos found their ideal new neighborhood.

A man was pulled over and arrested by the police for driving a child-sized pink toy Barbie jeep along one of the main roads in Canada.  Actor Raymond Cruz was arrested for spraying woman/kid with a hose. Avi Lobe - Harvard astrophysicist gave an update on Atlas 3I. Donald Trump is asking people to donate $15 so he can get into heaven. Has the public gone too far with criticizing Philles Karen?

Phillies Karen demands the home run ball from kid. The CU Buffs and Deion Sanders have QB drama thanks to Ryan Staub. Denver Broncos defense shined against Cam Ward and the Tennessee Titans. Bo Nix and the Broncos stumbled, but regained their footing. Cowboy DeHuff handed out his All Balls award for week 1. A New Zealand woman walked on Legos for a world record. A lady called her boss a dick head, and was awarded $40k by the UK courts. Star Wars nerd bought a light saber for $3.6m. Send in your "Fact or Fiction" headlines to dehuffpodcast@gmail.com

A Japanese town wants to limit daily smartphone use to two hours. Connery DeHuff gives advice on how to deal with that. People in Georgia played kickball for 52 consecutive hours. Aussie DeHuff wasn't too impressed by this. James Gunn announced the 'Man of Tomorrow' Superman Sequel will be released July 9th 2027. Nerds are excited. Back in late July, a man was arrested while dressed as a Chuck E Cheese in Tallahassee, Florida. Cowboy DeHuff and Harry Caray DeHuff handle the sports section: Rockies break the 100 game loss mark for the third straight season. Cowboy gives you the All Balls Keys to Victory for the Broncos Titans game.

Brand new $1M luxury yacht tips over and sinks in Turkey, 15 minutes after launching. A woman in Japan lost millions of Yen - $6k U.S. - after being conned by a man claiming to be an astronaut. Google's autonomous ride service Waymo is coming to Denver. Kawhi Leonard and L.A. Clippers owner Steve Ballmer just got outed by Pablo Torre for fraudulent behavior to beat the NBA salary cap.

I'm the unofficial podcast of Porta-potty. NASA is looking for volunteers for its Artemis II program. You could do a flyby of our moon. Katie Holmes ate $100, caviar-topped chicken nuggets at US Open. And the “chef” that made that, is a jerk. The Smashing Machine is said to be Oscar worthy, and Dwayne Johnson's greatest work. Week one of the NFL season is finally here!!!

Banana hammocks, G-Strings, and influencers are things I don't want to see at a waterpark. FYI - don't jack it at a Korn concert, it'll end badly. Reaction to Jerry Jones insulting Micah Parsons on the way out the door. Real life superhero in Florida? Or just a creepy dude stopping another dude who was breaking the law…. And the worst 6 hour flight happened last week in Australia…. Will human civilization be relevant in 500 years?

Deion Sanders is shocked by the Colorado student section smoking weed during the game. Thanks to Romi Bean of CBS 4 for the audio/video. Guys - What not to do on the first date. Will our planet be invaded by ETs in October? Accidentally eating “special” brownies. Little League umpires can damage kids. AUGUST RECAP: We learned not to eat blue pork or radioactive shrimp. If you go to a WNBA game, maybe don't bring a green dildo to toss on the court. If you have a small pet, you can opt to send it to Denmark so their predators can eat it. When changing a company logo… put some effort into it. Adults shouldn't go down tube slides. Sad Trombone makes everything ok. The Cleveland Browns are a terrible franchise. If you refuse to get off a farmer's land, they might spray you with shit. A good chunk of people hope an alien probe does make it to Earth… maybe that will shake us all into pulling our heads out of our butts.

More radioactive shrimp at Walmart. Taylor Swift & Travis Kelce are engaged, but I rain on the parade. Cracker Barrel submitted to the haters, and changed their logo back to the old one. Orgy Dome destroyed Burning Man - and we try to come up with a good sponsor for the Orgy Dome. Guinness World Records announced some unclaimed records. Rockies can't even lose right.