Heavier Than I Look

Lady Diana Spencer was one of the first public figures to be outspoken about their experiences with an eating disorder, and her bravery then is deserving of a lot of thanks now. Today's episode will explore two representations of Diana's experience within the royal family, both that touch specifically on her bulimia. Listen to my thoughts on the portrayal of Diana in both Netflix's "The Crown" and Pablo Larrain's "Spencer".   Both of the representations I will discuss include spoilers and might be triggering for some. With this in mind, please exercise caution when seeing both the episodes of "The Crown" and the film "Spencer".   Bibliography (show notes): https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/spencer-movie-review-2021 https://time.com/6113603/spencer-princess-diana-true-story/ https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/04/movies/spencer-review.html https://www.vulture.com/article/spencer-kristen-stewarts-princess-diana-is-devastating.html https://metro.co.uk/2021/11/05/spencer-viewers-warned-about-graphic-and-glamorising-bulimia-scenes-15549426/ https://www.tyla.com/tv-and-film/spencer-film-diana-bulimia-eating-disorder-charity-beat-20211105 https://www.gawker.com/media/spencer-ends-with-diana-in-a-car https://slate.com/culture/2021/11/spencer-kristen-stewart-princess-diana-movie-accuracy.html https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2020/11/10168677/princess-diana-bulimia-the-crown-season-4 https://www.insider.com/what-the-crown-got-wrong-about-princess-diana-eating-disorder-2020-12 https://studybreaks.com/tvfilm/the-crown-eating-disorder/ https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2020/11/princess-diana-bulimia-the-crown https://www.instyle.com/reviews-coverage/princess-diana-bulimia-the-crown-accurate https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/princess-diana-crown-netflix-bulimia-eating-disorder-1094243/

Roxanne Gay's memoir is a story of a body. Yet what “body” means carries so much more depth, so therefore it is a story about the several thousand things other than the body that contribute to the formation of the body. In this review, I discuss Gay's desire to live beyond her body, the gendered politics in taking up space, and how the weight of trauma is a permanent mark, impossible to lose.  Bibliography (show notes): https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/14/books/review/hunger-a-memoir-of-my-body-roxane-gay.html https://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/roxane-gays-complicated-hunger https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2017/06/the-boldness-of-roxane-gays-hunger/530067/ https://slate.com/culture/2017/06/the-hunger-to-stop-hurting.html

Setpoint theory describes a theory of weight maintenance in which one's weight is genetically predetermined in a preferred range, explaining that your body will do what it must in order to maintain this range. Diets fail because our bodies and our weights are genetically pre-determined, unable to be commodified by the harmful BMI metric, which ignores several crucial details in calculating a person's relative health. This episode dives deep into both of these concepts and their standing in the medical field, uncovering significant chasms of misleading information.    Bibliography (show notes):   Christensen, Jen. Calling BS on BMI: How Can We Tell How Fat We Are? | CNN. CNN, 16 Aug. 2017, www.cnn.com/2017/08/16/health/bmi-measure-fat-questions/index.html. Ghoshal, Malini. “Set Point Theory and How It Relates to Diet and Weight Loss.” Healthline, Healthline Media, 19 Mar. 2020, www.healthline.com/health/set-point-theory#summary. Müller, Manfred J et al. “Is there evidence for a set point that regulates human body weight?.” F1000 medicine reports vol. 2 59. 9 Aug. 2010, doi:10.3410/M2-59   Oliver, J.E. (2006). Fat Politics: The Real Story Behind America's Obesity Epidemic. (pp. 16-22). New York: Oxford University Press. Ratini, Melinda. “Set Point Weight: Why You May Regain Weight after Losing It.” WebMD, WebMD, 19 May 2021, www.webmd.com/diet/obesity/what-is-set-point-weight#2. “Set Point Theory: What It Is and How to Know If You're at It.” NourishRX, 21 Sept. 2021, nourishrx.com/set-point-theory/. “Week One: The Science of Set Point.” BIDMC of Boston, 12 Oct. 2017, www.bidmc.org/about-bidmc/wellness-insights/nutrition/week-one-the-science-of-set-point

Transgender individuals are four times more likely than their cisgender female counterparts to self-report an ED diagnosis, two times as likely to report ED symptomology, and have significantly higher rates of attempted or successful suicide. Thus, EDs in the trans community are horrifically rampant and especially dangerous. A transgender individual may develop an ED to create gendered features and conform to a masculine or feminine societal ideal.  All of us who have suffered from or witnessed an ED in any capacity know how tied up to body image it is. Considering that transgender people live in a body that does not feel true or like home, these body image disturbances can become even more heightened: control of food becoming the mechanism by which to modify their appearances. A tragic contradiction. Bibliography (show notes): “Eating Disorders in the Transgender Community.” The Emily Program, 5 June 2020, www.emilyprogram.com/blog/eating-disorders-in-the-transgender-community/. Ekern, Baxter. “Why Transgender People Are More Likely to Develop an Eating Disorder.” Eating Disorder Hope, 4 Sept. 2020, www.eatingdisorderhope.com/blog/transgender-people-likely-develop-eating-disorder. Harvey, Rachel. “Eating Disorders Do Not Discriminate: Trans Teens Face Greater Risk - Penn Medicine.” Eating Disorders Do Not Discriminate: Trans Teens Face Greater Risk - Penn Medicine, www.pennmedicine.org/news/news-blog/2019/march/eating-disorders-do-not-discriminate-trans-teens-face-greater-risk. “The High Risk of Eating Disorders in Trans Men and Women.” Eating Disorders in Trans Men and Women – San Diego –, 27 June 2019, www.sharp.com/health-news/the-high-risk-of-eating-disorders-in-trans-men-and-women.cfm. Lauren Muhlheim, PsyD. “Eating Disorders in Transgender People.” Verywell Mind, Verywell Mind, 31 May 2021, www.verywellmind.com/eating-disorders-in-transgender-people-4582520. O'Melia, Anne Marie. “What's Driving Eating Disorders in Trans Patients?” Medical News, MedpageToday, 3 July 2021, www.medpagetoday.com/opinion/second-opinions/93407. Rebecca C. Kamody, Kimberly Yonkers, Emily I. Pluhar, and Christy L. Olezeski.LGBT Health.Jun 2020.170-173.http://doi.org/10.1089/lgbt.2019.0354 Savereide, Erik. “Gender Dysphoria and Eating Disorders.” Gender Dysphoria and Eating Disorders | Duke Center for Eating Disorders, eatingdisorders.dukehealth.org/education/resources/gender-dysphoria-and-eating-disorders. 

In the brutal lens of an ED, seeing yourself in a mirror or in pictures can be incredibly triggering. This is one of the pitfalls of self-objectification during the eating disorder, where we are ruled by parts of ourselves and how they measure up to a thin ideal. This lens at which we view ourselves does not automatically change the day we decide we want to get help. At any point during recovery (most especially physical recovery), seeing our bodies transform for health can be challenging. This episode focuses on how we confront our image again, prioritizing recovery, self-respect, and reframing representations of the space we live within.    Bibliography (show notes): “Difficulty with Skewed Body Image.” National Eating Disorders Association, www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/difficulty-skewed-body-image. Hagen, Uta, et al. Respect for Acting. John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 2008. Mitchell, Kylie. “On Seeing a Photo of Yourself and Not Liking How You Look.” ImmaEATthat, immaeatthat.com/2018/05/15/on-seeing-a-photo-of-yourself-and-not-liking-how-you-look/. Muhlheim. “Say Cheese! How to Be in and Celebrate Photos.” Eating Disorder Therapy LA, 19 May 2020, www.eatingdisordertherapyla.com/say-cheese-how-to-be-in-and-celebrate-photos/. Rollin, Jennifer. “For When You Can't Stand a Photo of Yourself.” THE EATING DISORDER CENTER, www.theeatingdisordercenter.com/blog/for-when-you-cant-stand-a-photo-of-yourself.

Vanity sizing is a phenomenon that explains size labels being labeled as smaller than their actual, true size. This is thought to preserve the dignity of smaller numbers, in which most customers feel more confident, given our society's overwhelming dependence on self-value defined numerically. Understandably, situations of ill-sizing can affect one's emotional well-being and self-esteem, especially if it is during a fragile state of attempted recovery. And especially if you might exist in a larger body, inflation sizing reflects the ideology that smaller bodies (and numbers for defining those bodies) are more desirable.   Bibliography (show notes): Clifford, Stephanie. “One Size Fits Nobody: Seeking a Steady 4 or a 10.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 25 Apr. 2011, www.nytimes.com/2011/04/25/business/25sizing.html. Dockterman, Eliana. “Clothing Sizes: How Vanity Sizing Made Shopping Impossible.” Time, Time, time.com/how-to-fix-vanity-sizing/. Dooley, Roger. “The Psychology of Vanity Sizing.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 29 July 2013, www.forbes.com/sites/rogerdooley/2013/07/29/vanity-sizing/?sh=6c0efae81e32. Kathleen, Author. “Apparently, Anyone Who Wears Clothes Is a Sizing Expert.” The Myth of Vanity Sizing, 21 June 2018, vanitysizing.com/journalists/apparently-anyone-who-wears-clothes-is-a-sizing-expert/#more-108. New Matilda. “Vanity Sizing: The Lie Harming Women's Health.” New Matilda, 15 Sept. 2015, newmatilda.com/2015/07/11/vanity-sizing-lie-harming-womens-health/#. O'Connell, Edaein. “The Deeply Negative Impact of Vanity Sizing.” Metro, Metro.co.uk, 6 Mar. 2021, metro.co.uk/2021/03/06/the-deeply-negative-impact-of-vanity-sizing-13988772/. Schrobsdorff, Susanna. “Fashion Designers Introduce Less-than-Zero Sizes.” Newsweek, Newsweek, 1 Dec. 2010, www.newsweek.com/fashion-designers-introduce-less-zero-sizes-112005. “Understanding Vanity Sizing.” SizeCharter, www.sizecharter.com/clothing-fit-and-measurement/understanding-vanity-sizing. Yazolino, Nicole, et al. “Vanity Sizing and Size Charts: A Brief History - Fit Analytics.” Fit Analytics Blog, 31 Mar. 2021, blog.fitanalytics.com/history-of-vanity-sizing-and-size-charts/. 

A Thanksgiving special from HTIL! Wishing you the most pain-free, trigger-free, peaceful holiday. Enjoy this bonus episode where Megan and I have a conversation about letting go of beliefs that begin eating disorders in the first place; and what this means within a society that clashes with our own new values. We become what we believe, which makes the recovery of our souls and perceptions of equal importance in ED recovery. 

We are joined again by the brilliant and incredibly insightful Megan Rogers, who continues to chart her way through eating disorder recovery amidst an ADHD diagnosis.    Megan explains how the executive dysfunction and fluctuating female hormones (often premenstrual dysphoric disorder in women with ADHD) make recovery uniquely challenging. She has turned away from relying on willpower and instead towards designing a life in favor of recovery. By choosing a lifestyle that makes recovery easier, instead of relying on willpower, she has the mental energy to live freely again. 

Megan Rogers, a senior at the University of Notre Dame studying marketing and anthropology, charts her journey through an eating disorder and ADHD diagnosis. She speaks of early memories of using food as self-medication to manage dopamine dysregulation. The need for stimulation and hyper fixation that characterizes Megan's ADHD manifested into many beautiful outcomes, but also into several eating disorders, including orthorexia and bulimia. Her ultimate belief is that ADHD is a superpower if it can be channeled in the right way. We will continue this discussion in next week's episode...

Study upon study proves that moderate, frequent exercise has many physical and health benefits. However, it is important to examine the ways in which diet and fitness culture are entangled and thus how exercise may be a toxic force in our lives. Why do you exercise: to confront your body in the brutal light of self-objectification and dehumanization in a ceiling to floor, wall to wall mirror? A discussion that is begun in today's episode... Bibliography (show notes): “7 Great Reasons Why Exercise Matters.” Mayo Clinic, Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, 11 May 2019, www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/in-depth/exercise/art-20048389#:~:text=Regular%20physical%20activity%20can%20improve,energy%20to%20tackle%20daily%20chores. Fitness. “Disengaging with Diet Culture.” Reimagym, 4 Apr. 2021, reimagym.com/disengaging-with-diet-culture/. Semeco, Arlene. “The Top 10 Benefits of Regular Exercise.” Healthline, Healthline Media, 18 June 2021, www.healthline.com/nutrition/10-benefits-of-exercise#TOC_TITLE_HDR_11. Toler, Melissa. “I'm Reclaiming Fitness from Diet Culture.” Melissa Toler, Melissa Toler, 27 Sept. 2020, www.melissatoler.com/blog/im-reclaiming-fitness-from-diet-culture. “Why We Should Exercise - and Why We Don't.” Harvard Health, 26 Aug. 2019, www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/why-we-should-exercise-and-why-we-dont.  26, Zoe Weiner・February. “Why Fitness Trainers Need to Educate Themselves on Eating Disorder Recovery.” Well+Good, 26 Feb. 2021, www.wellandgood.com/fitness-eating-disorders/. Byrne, Christine. “How to Tell If Your Relationship with Exercise Is Actually Toxic.” HuffPost, HuffPost, 23 Aug. 2021, www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-tell-if-relationship-exercise-toxic_l_5efb3f86c5b612083c52ff7d. ElKader, Nada Abd. “Don't Lose Yourself in Toxic Gym Culture.” Identity Magazine, Identity Magazine, 27 Jan. 2020, identity-mag.com/dont-lose-yourself-in-toxic-gym-culture/. Parker, Ilya. “Some Examples of Toxic Fitness Culture.” Decolonizing Fitness, decolonizingfitness.com/blogs/decolonizing-fitness/some-examples-of-toxic-fitness-culture#:~:text=Some%20Example%20of%20Toxic%20Fitness%20Culture%3A&text=The%20belief%20that%20fit%20has%20a%20look.&text=The%20belief%20that%20your%20body,to%20take%20care%20of%20ourselves. Phelan, Helen. “Compare Apple Watch and Whoop Review for Work from Home Mental Health.” Helen Phelan Studio, Helen Phelan Studio, 12 Mar. 2021, helenphelanstudio.com/journal/how-fitness-trackers-distract-your-bodily-intuition.

Learn how to honor hunger cues and fullness during a potentially triggering and re-traumatizing mealtime. Note that this episode may be particularly triggering as it discusses in-depth behaviors during meal-time that may distract from/inhabit or aid communication with your body. If you feel that discussion of this topic may be harmful, please do not listen. ⁠ Bibliography (show notes): Mcgurk, Jennifer. “All about Hunger and Fullness in Ed Recovery.” Eat With Knowledge, 12 May 2021, eatwithknowledge.com/hunger-and-satiety-part-1/. Shelton, Haylee. “Dealing with Extreme Hunger in Eating Disorder Recovery.” Hope・Full Nutrition, Hope・Full Nutrition, 26 Aug. 2021, www.hopefullnutrition.com/blog-1/dealing-with-extreme-hunger-in-eating-disorder-recovery. Smith, Monica. “Reconnect with Your Hunger Cues.” MSU Extension, 25 Sept. 2018, www.canr.msu.edu/news/reconnect_with_your_hunger_cues. Trundle, Hanna. “Myth: Meal Patterns Don't Affect Our Hunger and Fullness Cues.” Integrated Eating, Integrated Eating, 23 June 2020, www.integratedeating.com/blog/2020/6/23/myth-meal-patterns-dont-affect-our-hunger-and-fullness-cues. Wagner, Hilmar. “What to Know about Hunger and Fullness Cues.” The Emily Program, 9 Jan. 2020, www.emilyprogram.com/blog/what-to-know-about-hunger-and-fullness-cues/.

The last episode of season two teaches how to communicate to someone with an ED without harming or triggering them.  Bibliography (show notes): “How to Be and Ally: To a Friend with an Eating Disorder.” LOVE SQUAD, LOVE SQUAD, 24 Feb. 2020, www.lovesquad.com/blog/2020/2/how-to-be-and-ally-to-a-friend-with-an-eating-disorder. Lundy, Kursteen. “5 Ways To Be An Ally To Someone With An Eating Disorder.” Society19, 26 Mar. 2019, www.society19.com/ways-to-be-an-ally-to-someone-with-an-eating-disorder/. Margherita Mascolo, MD. “Getting Involved as a Recovery Ally.” Alsana®, Alsana®, 7 July 2020, www.alsana.com/getting-involved-recovery-ally/. Prentice, Emily. “How I Practice Allyship in the Eating Disorder Community.” Emily Prentice Yoga, Emily Prentice Yoga, 9 Mar. 2021, www.emilyprenticeyoga.com/blog/eating-disorder-allyship.

Anorexia collapses two extremes: martyrdom and survival, self-expression and silence, life and death. It says that the answer to being seen is to disappear. Today's episode discusses the contradictory nature of anorexia, in addition to the dominant cultural discourse and literature that craft false narratives of the illness.  Bibliography (show notes): Bellafante, Ginia. “Disappearing to Be Seen.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 19 Sept. 2008, www.nytimes.com/2008/09/21/books/review/Bellafante-t.html. Chu, Paige. “Illness as Aesthetic.” The Varsity, 3 Sept. 2018, thevarsity.ca/2018/09/03/illness-as-aesthetic/. Gregory, Alice. “Anorexia, the Impossible Subject.” The New Yorker, www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/anorexia-the-impossible-subject. Jamison, Leslie. “Grand Unified Theory of Female Pain.” VQR Online, www.vqronline.org/essays-articles/2014/04/grand-unified-theory-female-pain. Rigl, Alexandra Haley. “The Anorexic Aesthetic: An Analysis of the Poetics of Glück, Dickinson, and Bidart.” Vanderbilt University, 2014.  Waldman, Katy. “We Need to Reject the False Narratives Around Anorexia. I Can Start by Telling My Story.” Slate Magazine, 7 Dec. 2015, www.slate.com/articles/double_x/cover_story/2015/12/we_need_to_reject_the_false_narratives_around_anorexia.html.

Recovery usually means weight and bodily change. This is a reality hard to face, which is why today's episode focuses on how to celebrate physical changes in recovery. I discuss the difference between the movements of body positivity and body neutrality, in addition to the HAES model of recovery, BMI as bs, and set point theory.    Bibliography (show notes): Bacon, L. (2010). Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight. Texas: BenBella Books, Inc. “Body Positivity vs Body Neutrality.” The Female Lead Society, 3 Aug. 2020, www.thefemaleleadsociety.com/body-positivity-vs-body-neutrality. “Health at Every Size®.” Health At Every Size Community Resources, haescommunity.com/. “How To Cope With Weight Gain In Recovery.” The Recover Clinic, www.therecoverclinic.co.uk/weight-gain-in-recovery/. Muenter, Olivia. “7 Wellness Experts Explain ‘Body Neutrality’ and Why It's Worth Exploring.” Byrdie, www.byrdie.com/what-is-body-neutrality-5075038. Naftulin, Julia. “Body Neutrality, Not Body Positivity, May Be the Best Way to Fight Unsustainable Beauty Ideals. Here's How to Channel It.” Insider, Insider, 1 Sept. 2020, www.insider.com/what-is-body-neutrality-explainer-2020-8. Oliver, J.E. (2006). Fat Politics: The Real Story Behind America’s Obesity Epidemic. (pp. 16-22). New York: Oxford University Press. Penney, Tarra L, and Sara F L Kirk. “The Health at Every Size paradigm and obesity: missing empirical evidence may help push the reframing obesity debate forward.” American journal of public health vol. 105,5 (2015): e38-42. doi:10.2105/AJPH.2015.302552 Raypole, Crystal. “How to Shift from ‘Body Positivity’ to ‘Body Neutrality’ — and Why You Should.” Healthline, 20 Jan. 2021, www.healthline.com/health/body-neutrality. “Size Diversity & Health at Every Size.” National Eating Disorders Association, 22 Feb. 2018, www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/size-diversity-health-every-size. “Understanding Weight Gain in Recovery.” The Emily Program, 12 Mar. 2019, www.emilyprogram.com/blog/understanding-weight-gain-in-recovery/. “Yes, Weight Gain Is Hard. Check out These 8 Ways to Cope With It.” Recovery Warriors, 31 Mar. 2021, www.recoverywarriors.com/8-way-cope-weight-gain/.  https://www.instagram.com/p/CNZoS-XJgw4/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CNgb3AHLTh_/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CIFtBGQpxIx/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CHOTNMUFGlE/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CGzsP6bl0VA/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CGF9BZTJWYo/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a chronic mental health condition that is characterized by intrusive worries about perceived defects or flaws. It occurs in about 2.5 percent of males and 2.2 percent of females. It is listed in the DSM-5 under the heading "Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders”. It is not classified as symptomatic of an eating disorder, despite these disorders’ shared core feature of disturbed body image. Researchers have estimated that as many as 12% of people with body dysmorphic disorder also have anorexia or bulimia. Learn more about the intersection between BDD and EDs in today’s episode!   Bibliography (show notes): Screening Questionnaire: https://bddfoundation.org/helping-you/questionnaires-do-i-have-bdd/ Anglia Ruskin University. "Study links eating disorders with body dysmorphia: Research finds rate of body dysmorphia is 12 times higher among gym goers with eating issues." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 13 October 2020. . Body Dysmorphic Disorder. 29 Oct. 2019, www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20353938#:~:text=Body%20dysmorphic%20disorder%20is%20a,may%20avoid%20many%20social%20situations. Body Dysmorphic Disorder. www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/body-dysmorphic-disorder. Cowden, Susan. “How Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Eating Disorders Are Connected.” Verywell Mind, 1 Dec. 2020, www.verywellmind.com/body-dysmorphic-disorder-eating-disorders-1138186. Grant, Jon E, and Katharine A Phillips. “Is anorexia nervosa a subtype of body dysmorphic disorder? Probably not, but read on...” Harvard review of psychiatry vol. 12,2 (2004): 123-6. doi:10.1080/10673220490447236 Hunnicutt, Carrie. “How Body Dysmorphia Affects the Development of Binge Eating Disorder and Bulimia Nervosa.” Monte Nido, 30 Sept. 2020, www.montenido.com/binge-eating-disorder-and-bulimia-nervosa/. McConville, Sharon. “Body Dysmorphia and Its Link to Eating Disorders: How Do They Relate?” Eating Disorder Hope, 11 June 2019, www.eatingdisorderhope.com/information/body-image/body-dysmorphia. McIsaac, Nicole. Pandemic Has Increased Body Dysmorphia Disorder While Decreasing Sexual Encounters. 30 Mar. 2021, quchronicle.com/72616/arts-and-life/pandemic-has-increased-body-dysmorphia-disorder-while-decreasing-sexual-encounters/. Mental Health: Body Dysmorphic Disorder. www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-body-dysmorphic-disorder. Montague, Kelly. “Learning to Love Your Body: How Body Dysmorphia Can Lead to Eating Disorders.” Mission Health Blog, 25 Apr. 2019, blog.mission-health.org/2019/02/25/how-body-dysmorphia-can-lead-to-eating-disorders/. Questionnaires – Do i Have Bdd? bddfoundation.org/helping-you/questionnaires-do-i-have-bdd/. Schaefer, Jenni, and Katharine Phillips. “The Body as a Prison: Eating Disorders and Body Dysmorphic Disorder.” BDD, bdd.iocdf.org/expert-opinions/the-body-as-a-prison-eating-disorders-and-body-dysmorphic-disorder/. Schaefer, Jenni. “Is It an Eating Disorder or Body Dysmorphic Disorder?” Eating Recovery Center, 23 Mar. 2017, www.eatingrecoverycenter.com/blog/signs-symptoms/Eating-Disorder-Body-Dysmorphic-Disorder. Susan McQuillan. “What It's Like to Suffer Daily With Body Dysmorphic Disorder.” Psycom.net - Mental Health Treatment Resource Since 1996, 24 Oct. 2019, www.psycom.net/body-dysmorphic-disorder. Symptoms & Related Disorders. adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/body-dysmorphic-disorder/symptoms-related-disorders.     

Does having an eating disorder complicate fertility for young women? Is infertility a problem after recovery from an eating disorder? What about EDs during pregnancy? ⁠ ⁠ These are all questions answered in today's episode. Also featured is a letter our host Kiera wrote to her body exploring the future that she might face.    Bibliography (show notes): "Anorexia Took Away My Ability to Have Children, and i Don't Know If i Will Get It Back". 14 Nov. 2019, www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/body/health/a29624622/anorexia-infertility-eating-disorder-side-effects/. Boyles, Salynn. Eating Disorders Affect Fertility, Pregnancy. 5 Aug. 2011, www.webmd.com/mental-health/eating-disorders/news/20110805/eating-disorders-affect-fertility-pregnancy. Crossman, Mittsi. Fertility and Pregnancy in Eating Disorders. 27 Feb. 2020, www.edcatalogue.com/fertility-pregnancy-eating-disorders/. Eating Disorders and Infertility - Anorexia - Bulimia - Austin Fertility Doctors. 25 Aug. 2020, txfertility.com/female-infertility/eating-disorders-and-infertility/. Heidi, Murkoff. Eating Disorders and Infertility. 5 Mar. 2019, www.whattoexpect.com/getting-pregnant/ask-heidi/eating-disorders-and-infertility.aspx. Hoffman, Elizabeth R et al. “Reproductive issues in anorexia nervosa.” Expert review of obstetrics & gynecology vol. 6,4 (2011): 403-414. doi:10.1586/eog.11.31 Miller, Anna Medaris. The Lasting Toll of an Eating Disorder: Fertility Issues. health.usnews.com/wellness/articles/2016-03-31/the-lasting-toll-of-an-eating-disorder-fertility-issues. Norré, J., et al. “The Management of Eating Disorders in a Fertility Clinic: Clinical Guidelines.” Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics & Gynecology, vol. 22, no. 2, 2001, pp. 77–81., doi:10.3109/01674820109049957. Ward, Veronica Bridget. Eating Disorders in Pregnancy. 10 Jan. 2008, www.bmj.com/content/336/7635/93.short?casa_token=Zk71cqAd58sAAAAA%3ALXxKdy8n-AjEvsyMi5EcHOEeYPUcnFmqhTHoQEswuWwzeFG0sbjuIifCSCNfIpOUriIZgOaSsJY-. 

HTIL is a space of healing, recovery, and storytelling. These words appear together on purpose, becoming nearly synonymous. As our trauma-informed care models continue to develop, studies demonstrate that self-expression in art is powerful in recovery.⁠ ⁠ Learn more about the indigenous origins of storytelling and how to become an active agent in your own healing in today's episode!⁠   Bibliography (show notes): Brown, Jennifer. “Perspective Switch: Healing Trauma through Healthy Storytelling.” Medium, Medium, 20 Feb. 2019, medium.com/@jenniferbrown_97699/perspective-switch-healing-trauma-through-healthy-storytelling-dbd3c670343d. Dionne, Renda, et al. Storytelling As A Healing Modality, www.cibhs.org/sites/main/files/file-attachments/wed_130_mr3_madrigal_madigal_bogany_ruhs_cimh_storytelling_send.pdf?1539965816. Fontaine, Zita. “How Storytelling Helps You Heal.” Medium, The Startup, 15 Oct. 2019, medium.com/swlh/how-storytelling-helps-you-heal-9ed3290c95a9. Jackson, Sha. “The Healing Power of Storytelling.” Coming To The Table, comingtothetable.org/the-healing-power-of-storytelling/. Nsn. “NSN.” National Storytelling Network, storynet.org/what-is-storytelling/.  Raab, Diana. “Writing and Storytelling for Healing.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 8 Oct. 2018, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empowerment-diary/201810/writing-and-storytelling-healing. The Science Behind the Healing Power of Storytelling, Native Hope, blog.nativehope.org/the-science-behind-the-healing-power-of-storytelling. Understanding The Healing Power of Storytelling, Native Hope.  Der, Kolk Bessel van. The Body Keeps the Score. Penguin, 2015. Kaplan, Ellen W. "Going the Distance: Trauma, Social Rupture, and the Work of Repair." Theatre Topics, vol. 15 no. 2, 2005, p. 171-183. Project MUSE, doi:10.1353/tt.2005.0024.

The commonality of gastrointestinal complications in those who have recovered from or suffer with eating disorders is astounding. Most studies demonstrate upwards of 95 percent of those with a documented eating disorder (ED) fit the criteria for a functional gut disorder (FGD) and upwards of 50 percent for Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). In this episode, we discuss how digestive issues differ in types of EDs and how the trauma caused by an ED may predisposed one to develop a FGD. I also discuss my recent diagnosis of IBS and how healing has become infinitely more complicated with concomitant disorders.    Bibliography (show notes): Decker, Carrie A. “Digestive Issues - The Overlap of Anxiety and Eating Disorder Struggles.” Eating Disorder Hope, 12 Feb. 2015, www.eatingdisorderhope.com/treatment-for-eating-disorders/co-occurring-dual-diagnosis/anxiety/digestive-issues-the-overlap-of-anxiety-and-eating-disorder-struggles. Der, Kolk Bessel van. The Body Keeps the Score. Penguin, 2015. “Digestive Disorders and Eating Disorders: A Complicated Mix.” Marci R.D., 21 Oct. 2020, marcird.com/digestive-disorders-eating-disorders-a-complicated-mix/. Fenkanyn, Stephani. “Digestive Issues & Eating Disorders: How to Ease Discomfort without Obsessing.” BANA, 7 May 2020, bana.ca/digestive-issues-eating-disorders/. Harer, Kimberly N. “Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Disordered Eating, and Eating Disorders.” Gastroenterology Hepatology, www.gastroenterologyandhepatology.net/archives/may-2019/irritable-bowel-syndrome-disordered-eating-and-eating-disorders/. Judge, Erin. “The Connection Between Eating Disorders and IBS - Gutivate - IBS & SIBO Nutrition Counseling & Coaching.” Gutivate, Gutivate - IBS & SIBO Nutrition Counseling & Coaching, 15 Mar. 2021, gutivate.com/blog/eating-disorders. Leon, Erica. “GI Symptoms in Eating Disorders - Mirror.” Mirror, 18 June 2020, mirror-mirror.org/gi-symptoms-in-eating-disorders. Long, Jessica. “The Intersection of Anxiety, Eating Disorders, and IBS.” Sunny Side Up Nutrition, 1 Aug. 2019, sunnysideupnutrition.com/anxiety-eating-disorders-ibs/. Mahoney, Ben. “How Eating Disorders Affect the Digestive System - MEDA - Multi-Service Eating Disorders Association.” MEDA, 22 May 2018, www.medainc.org/eating-disorders-affect-digestive-system/. MBA, Reid J. Robison MD. “The Body Keeps Score.” Medium, Beat Eating Disorders, 21 Nov. 2017, medium.com/beat-eating-disorders/the-body-keeps-score-14790ec3fae7. Rodriguez, Tori. “Expert Q&A: Low-FODMAP Diet Risky in Patients With Eating Disorders.” Gastroenterology Advisor, 8 Oct. 2019, www.gastroenterologyadvisor.com/irritable-bowel-syndrome-ibs/expert-qa-low-fodmap-diet-risky-in-patients-with-eating-disorders/. Santonicola, Antonella, et al. “Eating Disorders and Gastrointestinal Diseases.” Nutrients, vol. 11, no. 12, 2019, p. 3038., doi:10.3390/nu11123038. Sato, Yasuhiro, and Shin Fukudo. “Gastrointestinal Symptoms and Disorders in Patients with Eating Disorders.” Clinical Journal of Gastroenterology, Springer Japan, 26 Oct. 2015, link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12328-015-0611-x.   

Eating disorders are largely characterized as feminine, and thus males or omitted from research, diagnosis, and treatment. Yet, studies have demonstrated that one in three of those struggling with EDs identify as male. To learn more about the nuances and challenges that accompany the experience of being a male with an eating disorder, listen to epsidoe eighteen. 

Karen Carpenter, one-half of one of the biggest American musical acts of all time, sensitized the public to the seriousness of an eating disorder. Today’s episode discusses her tragic life and death, in conversation with Todd Haynes’ film entitled “Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story”. Our cultural response to her suffering and eventual death is heightened because of her perceived untouchability and her very existence as a spectacle who is exploited by the media. Carpenter’s life was in and of itself its own screen at which to view anorexia; an object to gawk at, trivialize, and dehumanize.    Bibliography (show notes): Banerji, Atreyi. “The Tragic Story of Karen Carpenter: An Artist Failed by a Faltering Society.” Far Out Magazine The Tragic Story of Karen Carpenter An Artist Failed by a Faltering Society Comments, faroutmagazine.co.uk/karen-carpenter-tragic-story-mental-health/.   Chu, Paige. “Illness as Aesthetic.” The Varsity, 3 Sept. 2018, thevarsity.ca/2018/09/03/illness-as-aesthetic/.   Eames, Tom. “The Tragic Story of Karen Carpenter, One of the Greatest Vocalists of All Time.” Smooth, 27 Mar. 2019, www.smoothradio.com/artists/carpenters/karen-carpenter-death-story-solo-album-husband/.   Gilbert, Sophie. “'To the Bone' and the Trouble With Anorexia on Film.” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 19 July 2017, www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2017/07/to-the-bone-review-netflix/533517/.   Haynes, Todd, director. Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story. Youtube, 1988, www.youtube.com/watch?v=H13d1nOorJM.    Latson, Jennifer. “Karen Carpenter: How Did She Die?” Time, Time, 29 Dec. 2016, time.com/3685894/karen-carpenter-anorexia-death/.   Person. “The Real Reason Karen Carpenter Was Driven to Anorexia.” Independent, Independent.ie, 18 Mar. 2016, www.independent.ie/life/the-real-reason-karen-carpenter-was-driven-to-anorexia-26703889.html.   Rose, Megan. “It Begins And Ends With Empathy; Remembering Karen Carpenter. • National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders.” National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, 6 Apr. 2020, anad.org/begins-ends-empathy-remembering-karen-carpenter/.    Schmidt, Randy. Karen Carpenter: Starved of Love, by Randy Schmidt | Extract. 23 Oct. 2010, www.theguardian.com/books/2010/oct/24/karen-carpenter-anorexia-book-extract. 

The danger of the reductive eating disorder image is never more apparent when discussing EDs in midlife and beyond. Because an aging body is increasingly more inflexible when facing physical damage, the risks associated with an ED are heightened. Dangers include disruption of heart function, diminishing cognitive ability, and osteoporosis (among others). All risks may be precluded or worsened by disordered eating and often overshadow the incidence of EDs, making detection and diagnosis more difficult.    Bibliography (show notes): “Causes of Middle-Aged Women Eating Disorders.” Eating Disorder Hope, 30 June 2017, www.eatingdisorderhope.com/treatment-for-eating-disorders/special-issues/older-women/causes. Dennett, Carrie. “Perspective | The Overlooked Crisis of Eating Disorders among Middle-Aged Women.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 18 June 2019, www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/wellness/the-overlooked-crisis-of-eating-disorders-among-middle-aged-women/2019/06/14/e5358616-87d5-11e9-a491-25df61c78dc4_story.html. “Facing Eating Disorders in Midlife.” Performance by Mary Tantillo, UR Medicine, Youtube, 5 Apr. 2011, www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2IhhewfnHI. Lauren Muhlheim, PsyD. “What Are Midlife Eating Disorders?” Verywell Mind, 5 Jan. 2021, www.verywellmind.com/midlife-eating-disorders-4177137. Publishing, Harvard Health. “Disordered Eating in Midlife and Beyond.” Harvard Health, www.health.harvard.edu/womens-health/disordered-eating-in-midlife-and-beyond. Sloneker, Wendy. “Eating Disorders in Midlife and Menopause.” Gennev, Gennev, 12 Feb. 2021, gennev.com/education/eating-disorders-in-midlife. “What We Need to Know about Eating Disorders in Midlife.” Eating Disorders Catalogue, 24 Aug. 2018, www.edcatalogue.com/need-know-eating-disorders-midlife/. 

Eating disorders can reach anyone, yes. But eating disorder treatment does not. Cultural messaging, such as that motivated by media and film, perpetuate an ED stereotype: you must be a white, young, thin, affluent female to be deserving of an eating disorder. Racial and ethnic minority groups such as Hispanic/Latinx Americans, African Americans, Native Americans, and Asian Americans essentially become a blind spot in Eating Disorder research, diagnosis, and recovery. Let’s collectively work to deconstruct our own internalized beauty and thin ideals by examining our implicit biases of certain genders, ages, races, religions, ethnicities, sexual orientations, body shapes, and weights as deserving of an eating disorder. Listen to today’s episode to learn more about race-based stereotypes in ED diagnosis and treatment.      Bibliography (show notes): “Beyond ‘Eating Disorders Don't Discriminate.’” The Emily Program, 18 Feb. 2021, www.emilyprogram.com/blog/beyond-eating-disorders-dont-discriminate/.  Eating Disorders among Minorities - Toledo Center. 26 Dec. 2018, toledocenter.com/eating-disorders/eating-disorders-among-minorities/.  Eyre, Rebecca, and Erikka Dzirasa. If Eating Disorders Don't Discriminate, Why Is the Recovery Community so Homogenous? MHAM Webinar: Eating Disorders and Racial Disparities, Mental Health Awareness of Michiana, 15 Jan. 2021, youtu.be/0-8SGPs3q3o. Gray, Anissa. “Yes, Black Girls Get Eating Disorders.” Shondaland, 2 Jan. 2020, www.shondaland.com/live/body/a30171323/black-girls-eating-disorders/.  Gordon, Kathryn H et al. “The impact of racial stereotypes on eating disorder recognition.” The International journal of eating disorders vol. 32,2 (2002): 219-24. doi:10.1002/eat.10070 Kendall, Mikki. “When Black Girls Hear That 'Our Bodies Are All Wrong'.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 21 Feb. 2020, www.nytimes.com/2020/02/21/opinion/sunday/black-women-eating-disorders.html. Kent, Clarkisha. “Black Women Suffer From Eating Disorders Too, Stop Pushing Us Out Of Those Conversations.” Wear Your Voice, 19 Nov. 2019, wearyourvoicemag.com/stop-erasing-black-women-discussions-eating-disorders/. Meraji, Shereen Marisol. “When It Comes To Race, Eating Disorders Don't Discriminate.” NPR, NPR, 3 Mar. 2019, www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/03/03/699410379/when-it-comes-to-race-eating-disorders-dont-discriminate.  “More Ethnic Minorities Are Suffering From Eating Disorders.” Edited by Crystal Karges, Eating Disorder Hope, 16 Apr. 2019, www.eatingdisorderhope.com/information/eating-disorder/ethnic-minorities.  “Our Mission.” Project HEAL, www.theprojectheal.org/our-mission.  “People of Color and Eating Disorders.” National Eating Disorders Association, 26 Feb. 2018, www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/people-color-and-eating-disorders Redd, Achea. “Women of Color: The Eating Disorder Survivors Who Suffer in Silence.” Swaay, 16 June 2020, swaay.com/black-women-color-eating-disorders.  Sala, Margarita et al. “Race, ethnicity, and eating disorder recognition by peers.” Eating disorders vol. 21,5 (2013): 423-36. doi:10.1080/10640266.2013.827540 Sim, Leslie. “Our Eating Disorders Blind Spot: Sex and Ethnic/Racial Disparities in Help-Seeking for Eating Disorders.” Mayo Clinic Proceedings, vol. 94, no. 8, 2019, pp. 1398–1400., doi:10.1016/j.mayocp.2019.06.006.  Thompson, Becky W. A Hunger so Wide and so Deep: a Multiracial View of Women's Eating Problems. University of Minnesota Press, 1997. 

Today's discussion focuses on Marti Noxon's To The Bone (2017) which tells the harrowing story of twenty-year-old Ellen (played by Lily Collins) who struggles with anorexia amidst a challenging family dynamic that aggravates her feelings of helplessness and lack of control. As one of the more recent cultural portrayals of EDs, I discuss how this film is problematic by employing film critic Laura Mulvey's understanding of fetishistic scopophilia.  Bibliography (show notes):Anorexia Nervosa. 28 Feb. 2018, www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/by-eating-disorder/anorexia. Bahr, Lindsey. “'To the Bone' Walks Fine Line of Depicting Eating Disorders.” AP NEWS, Associated Press, 12 July 2017, apnews.com/article/0e2dd724949145c180569ee624245a97.Boker, Pamela A. “‘How Can He Be so Nothungry?": Fetishism, Anorexia, and the Disavowal of the Cultural ‘I’ in ‘Light in August.’” Faulkner Journal, vol. 7, no. 1/2, 1991, pp. 175–191. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/24907643. Accessed 2 Nov. 2020.Chu, Paige. “Illness as Aesthetic.” The Varsity, 3 Sept. 2018, thevarsity.ca/2018/09/03/illness-as-aesthetic/.Gilbert, Sophie. “'To the Bone' and the Trouble With Anorexia on Film.” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 19 July 2017, www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2017/07/to-the-bone-review-netflix/533517/.Haynes, Todd, director. Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story. Youtube, 1988, www.youtube.com/watch?v=H13d1nOorJM. Mulvey, Laura. “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema” Film Theory and Criticism: Introductory Readings, edited by Leo Braudy and Marshall Cohen, 8th ed., Oxford University Press, 2016, pp. 620-631.Noxon, Marti, director. To The Bone. Netflix, 2017, www.netflix.com/watch/80171659?trackId=13752289&tctx=0%2C0%2C6ee4505264385b3738adfe32df0c1a8d3c45383d%3A8e7e3c6ff0af3bd21e67ad63ece30c9f8a91ce3e%2C6ee4505264385b3738adfe32df0c1a8d3c45383d%3A8e7e3c6ff0af3bd21e67ad63ece30c9f8a91ce3e%2Cunknown%2C. Schmidt, Randy. Karen Carpenter: Starved of Love, by Randy Schmidt | Extract. 23 Oct. 2010, www.theguardian.com/books/2010/oct/24/karen-carpenter-anorexia-book-extract. Tyson, Maggie. “The Modern Glamorization Of Eating Disorders.” HealthyWay, 3 Aug. 2018, www.healthyway.com/content/the-modern-glamorization-of-eating-disorders/.Waldman, Katy. “We Need to Reject the False Narratives Around Anorexia. I Can Start by Telling My Story.” Slate Magazine, 7 Dec. 2015, www.slate.com/articles/double_x/cover_story/2015/12/we_need_to_reject_the_false_narratives_around_anorexia.html.Williams, Linda. “Film Bodies: Gender, Genre, and Excess.” Film Quarterly, vol. 44, no. 4, 1991, pp. 2–13. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/1212758. Accessed 3 Nov. 2020.Woolley, Dawn. “The Dissecting Gaze: Fashioned Bodies on Social Networking Sites.” Leeds Arts University Repository, Bloomsbury Visual Arts, 23 July 2020, lau.repository.guildhe.ac.uk/17666/. 

Aggie Laboe, a senior at the University of Notre Dame, details her own eating disorder and recovery. We discuss Aggie finding her voice during recovery including her work with The Body Positive, the research she's conducted, and how she is fighting to recognize eating disorders on Notre Dame's campus. Read her Observer article here:https://ndsmcobserver.com/2020/09/why-we-need-to-talk-about-eating-disorders/

Joyce Diebels, the host of the LifeToEnjoyce Podcast who is a joyful mindset coach, joins us to discuss her work helping women lead a happy and healthy life. We discuss making peace with food, our bodies, and internalizing self-worth. 

Elyse Resch, co-author of Intuitive Eating: An Anti-Diet Revolutionary Approach, joins us to discuss intuitive eating as a tool in eating disorder recovery! 

This episode recaps the last 10 episodes including topics such as types of eating disorders, risk factors, stages of trauma in EDs, trigger-to-disordered behavior response, EDs through a historical lens, our body-obsessed culture, ED depiction on screen, college campuses & quarantine leading to an arising, resurfacing, or worsening of EDs, modes of recovery, making peace with weight change, and evolutionary theories of EDs. This episode is concluded with a Q&A directed by questions from listeners. 

Eating disorder treatment is largely ineffective. Our understanding of how to treat EDs is limited because the etiology is not well understood. This week's episode attempts to understand the "why" of EDs through an evolutionary lens. We discuss theories such as the intrasexual competition hypothesis, reductive suppression hypothesis, adapted to flee famine hypothesis, thrifty genotype hypothesis, dual intervention point model, and a psychoneuroimmunological approach. All theories explain EDs as a response to a threat and identifying this threat is critical to inform our treatment practices in recovery. 

What does live worth living mean to you? Finding meaning and worthiness of life does not have an expiration date. It is instead a life-long quest that one begins when deciding to recover from an ED. Although recovery looks different for each eating disorder survivor, each generally undergoes 5 stages, multiple "modes" of recovery (including physical, relational, psychological, and behavioral), and must address co-occurring disorders if applicable. Recovery requires kinship and self-forgiveness, especially if one relapses into destructive behavior. These themes, in addition to how to make peace with weight change, are topics discussed in this episode. 

From the rigid social confinement to food insecurity to weight-stigmatizing media messaging, 2020 has been a breeding ground for eating disorders. Specifically, eating disorders thrive in isolation. How might this truth be witnessed during quarantine? Find out in this episode, where we discuss the resurgence, worsening, or development of EDs during a global pandemic. Our host, Kiera, also shares her own struggles and triumphs during quarantine. This episode also features an insightful poem about body dysmorphia written by Ana Paula (@anapaula.aguilarv). 

College campuses offer a whole host of newness, which in addition to increased stress/workloads, the freedom to eat constantly available food, and a growing sense of displacement from home may contribute to an eating disorder arising, resurfacing, or worsening for many young women and men. Further, toxic habits imposed by drinking culture, greek life, or athletic groups may reinforce distorted thoughts around food or body image, thus aggravating the entanglement of disordered eating and college culture. This is discussed in depth in today's episode, in addition to anecdotes from our host, Kiera Russo, who is a college student recovering from an ED. Jaeden Luke's original song, entitled "Beautiful" is also featured in this episode, which may be found on Spotify!

How are eating disorders portrayed and understood today? This is a question we explore in today's episode, with a discussion on diet culture, body curriculum, and how our media has perpetuated a thin ideal and body-obsession. We also briefly discuss public figures who have shared their ED stories and how our media consumption can contribute to a dangerous, inauthentic conception of eating disorders. 

This week’s episode will explore eating disorders through a historical lens. We will track when they emerged and how public discourse and understanding transformed as the trajectory of eating disorders shifted. Anorexia mirabilis, the Minnesota Starvation Experiment, and eating disorder emergence in the Diagnositic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSM) are all landmarks that we discuss. 

This episode I discuss how trauma and eating disorders are intertwined in more ways than one. Trauma can exist as a risk factor for developing an eating disorder (ED), occurs during the suffering of one with an ED, and triggers (an indicator of trauma) traverse the junction between suffering and recovery. Although trauma presents itself in different ways with various eating disorders and with survivors, research surrounding this topic reveals interesting insights as to why comorbidity between EDs and trauma exists.

Episode #1 of Heavier Than I Look details the conception of the podcast in addition to a description of the different types of eating disorders and risk factors associated with each. This episode also features a poem written by Kiera Russo which details her experience with anorexia and which won "Best Poem" at New Canaan High School's 2019 Poetry Fest.  If you are interested in sharing your own story, please direct message @heavierthanilook on Instagram.

Episode #2 of Heavier Than I Look shares the ongoing story of host Kiera Russo's own struggles with disordered eating and body dysmorphia. She chronicles six years of struggling with anorexia, binge eating disorder, and body dysmorphia.