Journal - Agatha Nolen

As I approach my graduation at Duke Divinity School, I've been reflecting on some of my class assignments over the past four years. Many of them were very academic papers comparing historical doctrines, or exploring Christianity in another part of the world (in the class I took we explored Christianity in Latin America).Other assignments were more formative, encouraging us to deepen our personal spiritual life in reflecting not only on our education but on the world around us. For one of our formation classes, our assignment was to write one prayer per day for five days in a row. That was the entire prompt; we could write about whatever God put on our hearts each day.For the last day, I was reflecting on how we often get so tangled up in our day-to-day world that we forget that God's world is very different. I looked for some Scripture verses to remind me that God really is everywhere if we will just look, feel, smell, hear, and taste, using all our senses.Here's my prayer from Day 5: Praise for our ability to perceive God through all our senses.Dear heavenly Father, I praise you as you have filled the world with immense beauty. It is only through my senses that I can behold your gracious hand in all these works. It is through my hearing that the mourning dove welcomes me to another orange sunrise. My sense of smell is the most likely to return me to a memory of a forgotten love or a new one just discovered. I am thankful for my ability to touch you when I give or receive a hug from a good friend or help a two-year old tie their shoelaces. It is through taste that I perceive your goodness not only in the fruits of the earth but the spices and flavors that you have given to different parts of the world for us to explore, exchange, and welcome as we give thanks for the nourishment of the plants and animals that give us strength. It is through the magnificent gift of sight that you bring us to our knees as we see the boldness of your created world that inspires us to use our imagination to envision your kingdom here on earth. It is with joy that I sing praises to you, Lord, as there is no one who can love me better or more completely than you do by showing me the majesty of your world. Amen.I hope that no matter what tries to distract us that we will see God all around us and never far away.Blessings, my friend,Agatha Notes: Genesis 8:21, Psalm 34:8, 115:3-8, 119:103; Proverbs 20:12, Matthew 13:16, Mark 4:23, Romans 10:13, 2 Corinthians 2:15

The Descent from the Cross, Rubens (1612-1614), Cathedral of Our Lady, Antwerp, Belgium “After these things, Joseph of Arimathea, who was a disciple of Jesus, though a secret one because of his fear of the Jews, asked Pilate to let him take away the body of Jesus. Pilate gave him permission; so he came and removed his body. Nicodemus, who had at first come to Jesus by night, also came, bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, weighing about a hundred pounds. They took the body of Jesus and wrapped it with the spices in linen cloths, according to the burial custom of the Jews.” (John 19:38-40) It is only three short verses, but it asks us volumes about our faith. Most of the disciples have deserted Jesus; Peter has denied him three times. Where were they when Jesus breathed his last? Were they hiding but watching the crucifixion perched on a nearby hill, or were they worried about their own lives and had gone far away hoping that no one like the servant girl had ever seen them with Jesus. Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus are both members of the Sanhedrin, the supreme council in charge of Jewish affairs in Roman Palestine. They risked their wealth, their reputation, and their lives to remove Jesus's body from the Cross and wrap it in fine linen. This public display of responsibility but also affection spoke volumes of them as followers of Christ. They were willing to go public with their faith, recognizing Jesus as the Messiah for whom the Jews had been waiting over two millennia. Since we know the end of the story, we are in a rush to “put him into the ground” so that he can rise again. But let's spend time thinking how we would act at that moment of his last breath. What about you? Do you hang back in the shadows, hoping that no one sees you going to church or identifying with the one they call Jesus? Or are you like Joseph and Nicodemus, willing to risk your reputation and even your life to gingerly reclaim His body and to proclaim, “My Lord, and my God”? Blessings, my friend,Agatha (Note: In the image by Rubens, the crown of thorns has been removed and cast into the waste bucket at the foot of the cross. Our sins, represented by the thorns, have already been cleansed.)

When I joined the Episcopal Church in 2008, I heard about the three-legged stool. The teaching discussed that the three sources of authority are scripture, reason and tradition. It made sense to me that you would not rely on just one or the other, and three legs gave it balance. The Rev. Chuck Collins in an article in The Living Church in 1998 took issue with the three-legged stool concept in that it isn't written in the Book of Common Prayer and that three legs can end up in competition with each other. Rev. Collins' recommendation is that we declare the Bible as the only authority and discount both reason and tradition as pillars of faith. I agree with the importance of the Bible and that it is the inspired words of God. But the danger in the single leg is that we have many differing interpretations of the same verses. One example is the use of verses to condone slavery that were often quoted in Congress to support the oppression of an entire race (Ephesians 6:5). I would like to propose a different solution to the three-legged stool by adding a fourth leg. The fourth leg is imagination. By imagination, I don't mean that we can dream and come up with any solution we want, but instead that with our imagination, we can have a clearer vision of what God's kingdom here on earth looks like and we can work toward bringing it into our today reality. What if we used scripture, reason, tradition and added our imagination. Can we visualize our earth as a place where there are no longer any poor, where everyone acts with righteousness, peace, joy and where hearts are transformed to not only follow Christ but to be like Christ? It will be a lot easier for Jesus to separate us into goats and sheep at the end of time if we live now like we are in a new heaven and earth (Matt. 25:31-46). Ross Douthat in his book Believe (Zondervan Books, 2025) says, “Once human beings inhabited a supernatural-infused cosmos, saw divinity in every tree and waterfall, lived under the influence of angels and demons, gods and stars and spirits. Now we inhabit a society defined by reason, science, and calculations, a natural world drained of metaphysical significance with selves buffered against the mystical and mythological…. Science supplanted prayer, for good reason, as the primary means of seeking healing, but people keep reporting that they'd been healed by intercessory prayer.” What would our world be like if we used our imagination to once again see divinity in every tree and waterfall and to believe that intercessory prayer makes a difference in healing? Blessings, my friend,Agatha

The Church of the Holy Trinity is a historic Episcopal Church in downtown Nashville just blocks from the Rescue Mission. It was established in 1852 as a "free" church for Black Episcopalians in the area known as South Nashville. It was listed on the National Historic Register in 1972 and will celebrate its 175th anniversary in 2027. In preparation for a year of celebrations, Rector Bill Dennler has started a new worship service at 5pm on Saturday evenings. With the growth of both music venues and condominiums in the area, we hope that people will participate in a traditional Episcopal liturgy at the new time. Our first Saturday evening service was this past Saturday, and I was honored to be the lector, appointed to read the Old and New Testament readings. As I started on the reading from Deuteronomy, I realized I had some competition to be heard both by those in attendance and those on-line. The noise was coming from a "pedal tavern" passing by on Sixth Avenue South. For my readers who are not from Nashville, a "pedal tavern" is a tourist attraction where a group of 10-20 people rent a party bike and pedal their way through Nashville as they drink, sing songs, and listen to a guide who takes them on a lively tour, usually sharing secrets from Broadway's legendary Honky Tonks. Rev. Dennler tells me that the church is on the route for all the pedal taverns as there is a popular liquor store just up the street. I could hear the music but couldn't recognize the tune. I could tell it wasn't good background music for a reading from Deuteronomy. But, It was strangely comforting that amidst our noisy, chaotic world, I was relishing in a familiar liturgy among friends. Although I relish my time in silent retreats, it is always a worship service that is right in the middle of the world's chaos that nourishes me the most. Come join us. An oasis in the desert at 5PM every Saturday. Blessings, my friend, Agatha Address:Church of the Holy Trinity615 Sixth Ave. SouthNashville, TN 37203

Saint Agatha by Cariani (Giovanni Busi) (1485-1547),1516 - 1517National Galleries, Scotland What's in a name? One way to have a new group introduce themselves is to ask them to tell a story of how they got their name. Many are named after family members, but I wasn't; I was named after a Saint. I was raised Roman Catholic and my mother's due date was February 5. In the Roman Catholic calendar that has been the Feast Day of St. Agatha since her death in 271 A.D. Agatha was born in Sicily into a wealthy family and dedicated her life to God. She caught the eye of Quintianus who tried to force her to turn away from her vow and marry him. She consistently refused his proposals until he had her arrested to face torture and possible death. She prayed for courage and refused to abandon her vow to God. She underwent more torture and eventually Quintianus had her breasts cut off. She had a vision of the apostle, St. Peter who comforted her and healed her wounds through prayers. She is the patron saint of Sicily and breast cancer patients. I relish getting to tell my story of I how got my name (although I was a bit early; my birthday is in December). I joined the Episcopal Church in 2008, and St. Agatha was never acknowledged until a calendar revision in 2022. The appointed Collect (brief prayer) for St. Agatha was recited around the world yesterday: Almighty and everlasting God, who strengthened your martyr Agatha with constancy and courage: Grant us for the love of you to make no peace with oppression, to fear no adversity, and to have no tolerance for those who would use their power to abuse or exploit; Through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom with you and the Holy Spirit be all honor and glory, now and forever. Amen.I pray that I can aspire to live up to the foundations of my namesake's life in the 3rd century.Blessings, my friend,Agatha

Rabbits Making Mochi in the MoonHarada KeigakuWoodblock printCa. 1850, Courtesy of the Victoria and Albert Museum, London (A mochi is a Japanese rice cake) We have wonderful exhibitions at the Frist Art Museum in Nashville and currently, I've been leading tours for Journey Through Japan: Myths to Manga. The exhibition will be on display through February 16, 2025. In the first gallery is a beautiful story from Japanese folklore of how the moon is home to the rabbit. The ancient story tells a lesson that Taishakuten, the ruler of the heaven visits Earth disguised as a beggar and asks three animals to help him get food. The first, a monkey, brings him fruit, and the fox brings him fish. But when he turns to the rabbit, the rabbit says he has nothing to share but is willing to give up himself as food instead. Taishakuten is so impressed with the rabbit's selflessness, that he places the rabbit on the moon for everyone to see and to remember the rabbit's selflessness every time they look at the moon. During this Advent season I've been pondering what this ancient story might mean to me. It is too easy for me to donate money to a local or far-off charity, similar to plucking fruit from a tree or gathering fish from the ocean. Those things really don't belong to me, so it doesn't mean much for me to give them away. But giving up myself; that is much harder. To spend time with a friend really listening to what is going on in their life. Sending up prayers for recent cancer diagnoses or friends who have lost loved ones this year and are not really feeling the “Christmas” spirit. Money is important and based upon the emails and mail I've gotten the past two weeks, every charity could use my monetary donation. But I'm rethinking what it really means to be more like the rabbit and show up in person with the most precious gifts of time and presence. Blessings, my friend, Agatha

I've always been an early riser, and I've adopted the habit of saying Morning Prayer from the Daily Office since I became an Episcopalian in 2008. It is part of my commitment to my Rule of Life (Chapter 18) that I have developed as a Fellow of The Society of St. John the Evangelist, an Episcopal monastery in Cambridge, MA. A few years ago, I discovered a free app on my phone that makes keeping the Daily Office easy but meaningful. I enjoy it as the Scripture verses, Canticles, and Saints' Commemorations are all in one place for Morning Prayer, Noon Day Prayer, Evening Prayer and Compline. I don't always get to stop four times a day, but I always start my day with the Morning Prayer. There is a recorded audio version so that I can feel like I am reciting it in community. Here's a link for your desktop: https://prayer.forwardmovement.org/pray. On your phone look for: “Forward, Day by Day.” I just discovered the best feature. If you click on the three lines in the upper left corner of the phone app (or “Prayer List” on your desktop), you can compose your own personal prayer list. This list is local to the device you create it on, so it is not shared among devices or other people. Your individual prayer list will pop up when it is time for prayers and thankgsivings. It reminds me to pray for people near and far, lifting up their names for healing, discernment, and reconciliation. I am often frustrated with the time I spend on my phone, endlessly checking weather, or scrolling to see what my friends are doing on social media. This Advent, I'm monitoring my usage but also recognizing than some technology can make my world better. I believe that the Forward Movement Day by Day Daily Office is one positive example and I hope that more people can start their day with Scripture and praying for each other. Please send me a note if you have any questions about the Forward Movement app. I'm not a paid employee and don't get paid for recommending it. I don't often make recommendations on my blog, but this one is worth the time I spend with it. Blessings, my friend,Agatha

I've joined a group that is studying Celebrating Abundance for Advent. It is a book of devotions from Walter Brueggemann. Tuesday's reading for the first week of Advent is titled, “Celebrating the New Abundance”. Last week I had been contemplating how I wanted to live more out of sufficiency (having enough) rather than the abundance of having more than I need. The devotion for Tuesday this week has added a new angle to my thinking. Walter comments, “let me tell you the news that is proclaimed at every Communion service: Jesus has turned the world into abundance. God is the gift who keeps on giving, and the people around Jesus are empowered to receive abundance and therefore to act generously.” Brueggemann continues, “He takes, he blesses, he breaks, he gives. And we are astonished about the surplus.” I still want to live out of sufficiency. I need to do better about buying things I really don't need, eating food when I am bored instead of hungry, and feeling like I need to be busy all the time to prove my worth. But I also need to see that Jesus gives me an abundance of truth, beauty, kindness, goodness, and love that I should never hoard but freely give away. I've adapted the concluding prayer as my prayer for Advent: “God whose giving knows no end, make me a glad recipient of your generosity. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear, and a heart to remember your abundance, that I might share it with the world. Amen.” Blessings, my friend,Agatha

“Gathering of the Manna,” James Tissot (1896-1902), The Jewish Museum, New York City I just finished the best class at Duke Divinity, “Old Testament and Leadership” taught by Dr. Ellen Davis and Dr. Sarah Musser. In addition to challenging readings and wonderful guest speakers, I realized that most of my religious life had been spent learning about the New Testament even though it is only 25% of the whole Bible and has about 5,000 words compared to 12,000. In our last class session we were sharing how our coursework in the Old Testament may have transformed our way of thinking, or how it might change our ministry in the future. All of the twenty students had poignant comments, but one from an Episcopal Priest, Rev. Emily Rowell has stuck with me for these past weeks. The intense study of the Old Testament had resonated with her about how we should talk about sufficiency rather than abundance. I started thinking how it would change my life if I started thinking more about having enough rather than having more. “Abundance” originated in 14th century France with the stem of abundans meaning overflowing, or full. Those terms seem different to me. If I have a cup of coffee that is “full”, it is up to the top of the rim, but if it is “overflowing”, it burns my hand when I try to pick it up to drink. I would like to think that I lead my life to “fullness” by having enough, but not more than I need. At the very least, anything that I possess to excess, I should consider sharing with those who have less. During the pandemic, I didn't want to be in crowds and was avoiding stores. I found myself ordering a case of dish soap from Amazon or Costco. Living alone meant that many items I ordered lasted more than a year. I still can't pass up a sale on 72 rolls of toilet paper. The pandemic has subsided, and the supply chain seems more reliable, but I still haven't shaken this idea that I need more of everything. My pantry is full and even the dogs have more toys than they can play with in a month. This Advent season, I'm going to be studying the Old Testament and dwelling with the Israelites when they were wandering in the wilderness. God told them that he would supply enough “manna” for them each day, except on the sixth day when he would double their supply (so they could enjoy a Sabbath rest). If they gathered more than they needed for a single day, it became “wormy and rotten” (Exodus 16). I want to gather only exactly what I need for sufficiency, knowing that any overabundance will become rotten in the eyes of the Lord. Blessings, my friend, Agatha

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash Another Immersive Week at Duke is complete. I'm enrolled in the Master of Divinity program at Duke University. It is in a hybrid format, so I travel to Durham three weeks of the year to start each term and then have weekly zoom classes. I'm a senior looking forward to graduation in May 2025. This term I'm taking a class in Old Testament in Leadership with Dr. Ellen Davis. We had a great week with lots of reading, daily journals, and group-led discussions. I participated in the group that led the discussion on Thursday that was on the Book of Proverbs but the most meaningful lesson for me was the Friday lesson on the Book of Psalms. Our daily journal was different for Friday; we were asked to write our own Psalm. It was very different from studying the Psalms to determine the voice of the Psalmist as they both praise God and cry out for God's ear. But my Psalm was different. I had to put myself in the place of the Psalmist. For what was I crying out to God for? Was I still able to praise God in my time of need? Here's my Psalm. How would you frame words to God if you wrote your own? Psalm (Thanksgiving for time in waiting) Hear my case, O Lord; open your ears to my heart. You will find no deceit in me; my mouth continues to praise your name. A path has closed, but you are with me; You carry me on your shoulders to new lands. I trust in your faithfulness; like a mother bear for her newborn cub, you care for your children. I count the minutes;You see into eternity and the cosmos is under your tender control. As I wait, your name is on my lips;When I awake, I will be bathed in joy. Blessings, my friend,Agatha

I've started a new book, Why You Can't Pay Attention and How to Think Deeply Again, by Johann Hari. I've been intrigued for a number of years with the concept of “multi-tasking”. Do I really get more done when I'm engaged with five simultaneous projects? Or what about the four books on my nightstand? Would I be better off reading one at a time? Johann's book starts out with the author taking his godson to Memphis to visit Graceland. When he was nine, the godson was obsessed with Elvis Presley and ten years later Johann finally took him to Graceland. His godson had had a rough few years, dropping out of school at fifteen, struggling to carry on a conversation without being distracted. He spent all his waking hours at home alternating blankly between screens. Why should I pick up this book at this particular time? Curiously, a good friend from Spain was in town a few weeks ago. As a travel agent she's been thinking about coordinating some groups to come to Tennessee for a “Music Tour” hitting the highlights of Nashville and Memphis. We spent one day in Memphis, and she wanted to go to Graceland, a place I'd never visited. My friend and I (as well as Johann) all had the same impressions of Graceland. It was lifeless with much of the charm taken out of the estate by the interjection of technology. Instead of having tour guides in each of the rooms of the mansion, we were issued individual iPads and earphones so that we could take ourselves on a “self-guided” tour. As we moved from room to room, our iPad voice encouraged us to “swipe left” to move to the next room. No one spoke as we were all watching the rooms on our iPads and listening through our earbuds. Noone was really looking at the actual rooms we were in. Johann's observations: “Occasionally somebody would look away from the iPad and I felt a flicker of hope, and I would try to make eye contact with them, to shrug, to say, ‘Hey, we're the only ones looking around, we're the ones who traveled thousands of miles and decided to actually see the things in front of us'—but every time this happened I realized they had broken contact with the iPad only to take out their phones and snap a selfie.” I want to start paying attention again to the real world around me and the people in it. I'd like to think deeply and engage in deep conversations about important things and not just the things that the news media thinks I need to be upset about. I don't know where this journey will take me, but I hope it's back to a better world than the one we have now. Blessings, my friend,Agatha

This Thursday is Ascension Thursday on the church calendar which marks 40 days after Easter and the day that Christ was taken up into heaven (Luke 24:51). Growing up Roman Catholic, this was a Holy Day of Obligation where you had to attend a mass, and in some European countries it is celebrated as a public holiday (e.g. Germany, France, Austria, Belgium, and the Netherlands). Ascension Thursday commemorates a specific event in the life of the church, but the three days preceding it (Monday-Wednesday) also have a special place in the life of the church. They are known as minor Rogation Days. The word rogation comes from the Latin verb rogare, meaning "to ask", which reflects the beseeching of God for a special blessing. Traditionally, the congregation of a local church will walk the boundaries of its land and ask God for seasonable conditions that will permit the growing of crops. We are asking God to bestow us with the conditions that we need for flourishing. Most churches don't plant crops anymore but at St. George's Episcopal Church here in Nashville we have our Farmers Market. We invite local farmers and those who are using local products to come every Thursday, May-August from 3:30-6:30pm to set up their tables and tents and sell items that their land has produced. This year we have 20+ vendors each week and expanded hours for us to shop and honor the harvests of our neighbors. On Wednesday, the last day of the minor Rogation Days, I'll be walking the boundaries of our campus at St. George's Episcopal Church. I'll walk the perimeter to put up signs for the market and I'll be praying as I go at the corners that all our vendors will have bountiful crops this year (and sales), and that our vendors, volunteers, and shoppers will all feel nourished and blessed with fresh produce, flowers, and ready-to-eat products all from our created earth. Please join us on Ascension Thursday when we commemorate Jesus's rising up to heaven. We live in this in-between time: Jesus has gone to heaven but has sent the Holy Spirit to be with us. We rejoice as we await the joy of Pentecost Sunday in a few weeks, when the Holy Spirit empowers us to act in Jesus's name. And we pray for a bountiful harvest this year for all our farmers. Blessings my friend,Agatha

I've had a disordered relationship with food for all of my adulthood. It began after my brother died when I was seven and I developed stomach aches every morning at school. My teacher would take me down to the school nurse each morning for cinnamon toast until I felt better. (I came from a small town, and everyone knew everyone; my teachers were all friends with my mother). Although the morning feeding was helpful and after six weeks, I was able to stay in class all day, I associated food with the solution to my emotions. Whether it is grief, sadness, anxiety, happiness, or despair, my mind signals that I need to eat. Not based upon hunger, but exclusively based in response to an emotion I am feeling.There have been times when I've dealt with this dysfunction better and sometimes worse. During some times I've stopped eating hardly anything, and during other times I eat nonstop. I know this yo-yo eating can't be good for me, so I've tried to moderate my eating, not necessarily as a hunger response, but at least trying to eat in moderation. How does this fit in with simplicity? I have come to realize that I think about what I am going to eat virtually all the time. It is very time-consuming to dwell on one activity in a never-ending loop. In praying in preparation for Lent this year, I decided to try the spiritual discipline of fasting. I've tried it in the past and always failed, but I wanted to try it again thinking that if I wasn't constantly thinking about food, I'd have more time to think about God.For the first two weeks of Lent, I've chosen one day each week where I only drink liquids. It has amazed me how much freedom that day gives me when I'm not worried about what I'm going to cook (or order) and when I'm going to eat. It wasn't nearly as hard as I thought, and it makes that day much simpler. I don't know if I'll be successful through all six weeks of Lent, but it has brought me a new perspective on my destructive eating habits and how they can be changed. I hope that you've found a spiritual discipline this Lent that is giving you a simpler life, too. Blessings, my friend,Agatha

Incorporating simplicity into my life isn't a one-time “cleaning out.” I want it to be a lifestyle change that makes a difference for years to come. This week I am tackling my pantry. It isn't huge, but it's stuffed with assorted non-perishables that I've acquired over the years since the pandemic. In some cases, it was easy to buy “giant-sized” purchases from Amazon and Costco during the pandemic, but I also realized that there are remnants of unrealized dreams in my pantry, too.There was the phase where I was transitioning to “more natural” eating. Not bad in itself, but some of the items I acquired turned out to not be very tasty. I tried them in a few recipes back in 2020 and the rest of the bag has stayed on the shelf. I think it's time to admit that I just don't like organic Goji berries.In the past few weeks as I've been methodically going through my possessions, I realize that a lot of my purchases have been for attributes which I wish I had. I by potting soil and mulch, not because I need it, but somehow it represents taking care of the earth. I would like to think I am a good steward, and my possessions reflect that.I have many “organic” items in my pantry. I don't know if they are really better for me than “non-organic”, but I can see in them my desire to be healthier. I think just by buying them, I should be healthier!I'm going to stop and think when making purchases. Am I buying this because it brings the real me joy, or am I buying it for the person I wish I was? In the past my buying habits may have reflected who I wanted to become rather than who I am. I'm only going to buy things that are useful to the “real me” in the present moment.With Ash Wednesday this coming Wednesday, I'm going to try to think more thoughtfully about what I buy to eat, what I eat and why. I'm going to try intermittent fasting at least a couple of days a week. I think practicing a better relationship with food (and my pantry) will be a good spiritual discipline for my Lenten season.Blessings, my friendAgatha

This coming week I'm going to be focusing on Simplicity in Possessions. I know that this isn't easy and will actually be a commitment to a lifestyle change, but I need to start somewhere! I realized that I have areas of my house where I have stored away things purchased during the pandemic. Some of them are “case quantities” of everyday items that were only available from Amazon or Costco in large quantities, and others are things that I thought I needed to prepare for a new lifestyle under the pandemic. I have a “pandemic junk drawer”, a place in my master closet where a few things have been carefully stacked for 4 years and a hall closet that I converted to an additional pantry. Just this weekend I've identified a few items and new philosophies that will bring me some more space and a bit of simplicity into my life: 1. I have a case of tea bags from the pandemic. This is in addition to the normal stock that I have in my food pantry in the kitchen. I've started drinking a cup of tea each evening, and I have an estimated 200 tea bags on hand. I plan to go through them to see if any have expired and for the remainder, I will share them with friends. (This is in addition to the hot chocolate mix, hot fruit tea mix, etc. also from the pandemic).2. When no one was coming to the house, I thought I was going to become a superb gardener. I bought soil, mulch, pine chips and a fertilizer spreader (that is still in the box). This week, I'm going to use what I can, but I'm not fooling anyone. I have a lawn guy that mows, mulches, aerates, overseeds, and fertilizes. Surely someone I know can use a small fertilizer spreader.3. I have a drawer full of masks, hand sanitizer, and assorted other pandemic-related fashion statements (mostly alumni masks). Oh, and expired COVID tests. So, I'm going through those also, throwing out the expired tests and keeping a few masks for future use. The government has extended some of the expiration dates on COVID tests so I'll check those first, but if they are really expired, out they go. (You can check COVID test expriation dates here: https://bit.ly/4927fPp). 4. I still have 100+ plastic bags from all the groceries I ordered on-line. We help serve food at the Church of the Holy Trinity, one of our downtown Episcopal Churches, once a month and the guests always ask for a plastic bag. A nice way to put them to good use. I know that simplicity of possessions is not easy, but I hope to start changing my lifestyle to bring fewer things into my life and start moving more things out. I think a negative “net” (more moving out than coming in) will be the secret to long-term success for me. In what ways are you using possessions to bring simplicity into your life? Blessings, my friend,Agatha

image from wayhomestudio on Freepik I'm in the M.Div. program at Duke Divinity and this term I've chosen by personal focus to be on Simplicity as a spiritual discipline. Last week I looked at “Simplicity of Time”, wanting to return my relationship with time to a place of holiness. In reviewing Guenther's chapter on simplicity, I kept coming back to her comment, “do I really need to know what the weather is going to be like in Berlin, today?” I realized how much time I spend each day checking my phone for information that may be important, but not to me. I check the weather multiple times a day, even when it is clear, and I always want to see what my friends are up to on Facebook and Instagram. I've tried a few things last week to check my phone usage and I estimate I've saved at least one hour per day! That hour has been a time of rest/relaxation that I haven't had in a long time. I'm planning to keep at it again this week to see if I can make it permanent. I realized also that I pick up my phone when I'm bored, or when I'm faced with some difficult homework assignment that I'm trying to avoid. Asking myself why I keep picking up my phone is important also in breaking those bad habits I've acquired. This is what I will be focusing on this week.I subscribe to a number of notifications of retail vendors that I frequent because I like to know when they have sales. But instead of clicking on the REI email each time just to “see if there is anything I need”, I'm first going to ask, “Is there anything I need from REI?” If the answer is “No,” I'm going to delete the email without going to their website to look at the sale items. I'm going to unsubscribe from all notifications for vendors that I didn't subscribe to (I'm sure someone sold my information as I didn't sign up for all these notices). Although it takes time to unsubscribe, I think it will save time in the long run.I'm only going to check the weather once each morning, unless there is a significant storm predicted for the area. Throughout the day, I can look out the window as I contemplate creation and figure out the weather.I'm only going to check Facebook and Instagram each evening. (This should save me a lot of time). Why do I feel like I need to know everything about my friends the minute that it happens? I'm going to eliminate multi-tasking as much as feasible. When I'm listening to music, I'm going to listen to music. When I'm writing a homework paper, I'm going to write. When I'm watching a movie, I'm going to watch the movie. When I eat dinner, I'm going to eat dinner. My life for a number of years has been structured around constantly trying to “get caught up”. I am much more productive and efficient when I can concentrate on one task and not let my mind wonder. I'll be back next week to share with you how it goes. I had great feedback last week as one of my readers suggested that we should make time each day for some “Sabbath”. I'm incorporating that into this week's plan, too! Blessings, my friendAgatha

The Holiness of Time, SSJE.org Margaret Guenther in her book, The Practice of Prayer, says that simplicity calls for a “radical trust that does not come easily.” I'm glad to hear that it's not second nature; I've been trying to lead a more simple life for decades. I either fail miserably or seem to have success for awhile and then slip back into bad habits. Maybe I'm looking at simplicity from the wrong point of view. Guenther talks about attempts to return to nature by growing her own food and pumping water from her yard. I agree that it may be simple, but for me it is also impractical. There are things that I'm good at but relying on the earth totally for my subsistence is not one of them. My focus this term in my Formation for Ministry class at Duke Divinity is Simplicity. It seems like it should be easy, but instead it is really hard. Perhaps if I take it slower over the next 8 weeks, I'll have a better chance of figuring out what Simplicity really is and how it can provide me with freedom in my life. One area that Guenther discusses is simplicity in time. She concedes that our lives and the lives of our families have become tightly scheduled to a degree unthinkable even a generation ago. But I still have 24 hours each day, just like everyone else. Guenther recommends returning to the intentionality of Sabbath even if we can't manage a full 24-hours at one time. She talks about how we waste considerable time joylessly leaving the television on after our favorite program is over or reading the news for more than we need. She asks, “does it really matter to me what the weather is like in Berlin, today?” I am guilty as charged. This week, I plan to make a few changes toward an intentional Sabbath:1. I'll go to bed and arise at approximately the same time each day.2. I'll keep a time diary and log my “Sabbath time”, even if it is only in 1 hour increments. Tracking my Sabbath time may help me see where I can be more intentional.3. I'll schedule regular in-office hours for my part-time job at church.4. At least once per day, I'll schedule 15 minutes of Sabbath time in my calendar. I'll let you know how it goes as I make progress toward simplifying my time and returning time to a place of holiness in my life. I'm interested in your comments, too. How have you been able to simplify your life in the area of time? Blessings, my friend,Agatha

On December 27th each year, we celebrate the Feast Day of St. John the Evangelist, writer of the Gospel and letters, and who many believe also wrote Revelation. St. John's Gospel is my favorite as I find it to be a constant encouragement and reminder that I am loved by God; I don't have to earn my way into heaven. The readings for the day include the story from John's Gospel (21:9-24) when Jesus appeared to the disciples on the beach after the Resurrection and invites them to breakfast. He asks Peter three times if Peter loves him and of course Peter answers, “Lord, you know I love you.” Jesus responds, “feed my lambs,” “tend my sheep,” and “feed my sheep.” I've been thinking a lot about pastoral care and how we are all called as followers of Jesus to care for others. Not just to say that we care, but to perform outward signs that show that we are caring for Jesus's sheep. My church, St. George's Episcopal Church in Nashville, has participated in the Room in the Inn Winter Shelter program since 1986. We house 12 male guests twice a month, sharing a hot dinner with them and providing lodging for the night. We get them up early for breakfast and send them with a lunch to-go. This happens from November to March each year when the Nashville weather can turn cold. It was 32 degrees the morning of December 22nd when our group of ladies from Room in the Inn boarded the bus to be returned to Room in the Inn campus in Downtown Nashville. I was glad they hadn't slept outside the night before. It was the first time we've hosted women, and it was a delightful evening. A family came to make the cots and set the dinner tables. Another family and other volunteers brought food and served the dinner meal as we followed Jesus's command to “feed His sheep and lambs”. We had an opportunity to eat with them and hear some of their stories. I served as an innkeeper with another lady as we spent the night, and lady bus drivers had an opportunity to “tend Jesus's sheep” as they returned them to the Room in the Inn downtown campus. We've scheduled more dates to host both Men and Women in 2024 in the Room in the Inn Winter Shelter Program. Jesus needn't ask, “Do you love me?” When we love Jesus, we show Him by taking care of our neighbors. Blessings, my friend,Agatha

I've just returned from my second hike of the Camino de Santiago in Spain. I had such fond memories of my first trip in 2019, I wanted to go back since the day I returned. On the first trip I had gone not knowing anyone on the trip who then became my friends. This time I wanted to return to show friends the beauty and romance of the Spanish landscape and its people. One thing I missed on my first trip had become a quest. Over twenty years ago, I began reading books and poems by St. John of the Cross. St. John of the Cross was born in 1542 in a Spanish town close to Ávila. In 1567 he was ordained a priest and worked with Teresa of Ávila to reform the Carmelite order to bring it back to its primitive roots. His most familiar poem, Dark Night, describes how God purifies the soul passively and brings the theological life to perfection. There are two fundamental conditions in the spiritual process. There is the painful passage through the dark night and then the unspeakable joy of encountering God. I experienced that “dark night” on my first Camino in 2019 when I was walking the longest day of 18 miles. It wasn't so much the physicality of the walking that became the dark night, but it was my inability to keep my mind occupied. It was only when I concentrated on Christ that I was able to overcome the darkness. St. John was noted for his writings and teachings, but he also produced a small drawing of The Crucifixion around 1575 when he had a vision at the Monastery of the Incarnation in Ávila. We were unable to go to the Monastery on my trip in 2019 but it became an obsession of mine to see this small drawing. My quest was realized this year. This sketch was revolutionary that anyone could claim to be so united with God that he would view the crucifixion from God's perspective. This tiny drawing spurred a painting by Salvador Dali in 1951 that is in the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum in Glasgow. My quest is fulfilled. The drawing is breath-taking. Blessings, my friend, Agatha

It was hot this Summer in Nashville, like miserably hot. I had stopped walking in my neighborhood because of the heat; even my gold retrievers thought the pavement was too hot for their paws. We'd play a bit in the backyard, but then they'd even beg to come back in the house.Today it was a delightful 61 degrees in the early morning and my church has re-started a Walk in Love Gathering at Edwin Warner Park which is only minutes from my home here in Nashville. It was lovely to take a stroll with a small group as the morning unfolded. First, we heard a few Celtic prayers and then for the next 15 minutes we walked in silence each meditating on the Scripture and asking how it was impacting me personally.We stopped for a few minutes to share our stories and they were all different! We'd heard the same readings, but they meant something different to each one of us!We continued on, chatting for the rest of the walk, turning to double back from a bird blind on the Hungry Hawk Trail.I'd forgotten how nice it is to start the day with a walk with friends. In a March 2023 guest essay in the New York Times. Andrew McCarthy wrote, “Whatever the Problem, It's Probably Solved by Walking.”McCarthy quotes writer Rebecca Solnit that walking “is how the body measures itself against the earth.” McCarthy adds, “and through such physical communion, walking offers up its crowning gift by bringing us emotionally, even spiritually, home to ourselves.”I'm planning on doing more walking, not just to get from point A to point B, but more of a wandering, letting the earth rise up to meet my feet, and letting my head clear in the fresh air of fall. Blessings, my friendAgatha(Photo of bird blind on Hungry Hawk Trail)

I always enjoy hearing from my readers, but this recent email is special: from Barbara, a “wife, mum and nanna in the UK.” Barbara writes: I just wanted to send you a little message to tell you what a blessing your book “You are loved: praying with John” is being to me. I am fairly new to praying with beads, and recently felt a drawing in my heart to grow in my belovedness, and to pray with Scripture, so your book seems heaven sent to me! Several years ago, I did a wonderful Ignatian prayer journey with a spiritual director, which took a year to complete. It was a very precious time to me, and something very special happened during the week of praying about Jesus being baptised, and hearing His Fathers voice calling Him His beloved Son. I had been in a small shopping centre where I live, called The Royal Star Arcade, and as I was coming down some stairs, the warm sun was shining through a window, and a song began to play in the background. It was ‘My Girl' by the Temptations. It seemed just for me, and sparkled with something heavenly, and so I whispered “Lord, could that be You singing Your love over me?” Well, since that day, He has sung it over me many times, and in such lovely ways. I remember going to sing to patients in our local hospital for the very first time, and feeling very nervous - I walked into my very first ward, and what should come on the radio, but “My Girl!” The reason I am sharing this, is because despite His wonderful kindness to me, I don't always feel like His beloved, which is probably why He has led me to your book! But…yesterday, while isolating and sitting in bed with covid, I quietly prayed through chapter one using my prayer beads. I sensed a couple of places where my heart was particularly drawn, and afterwards decided to write down what He might be saying to me… “My child, I see you, even at times when you're not aware of it. I know you…” As I wrote ‘I know you' I couldn't believe what happened, for suddenly I could hear “My Girl” playing on the TV downstairs on a program that my husband was watching. I just closed my eyes in wonder and thankfulness, and then wrote… “…and you are truly My Girl.” This has so lifted my heart, and came about because of your lovely book, and I just wanted to write and let you know that ‘His overwhelming, abiding love' that you mentioned in the preface…is coming through just as you had hoped! Many blessings, in His wonderful love,Barbara Thank you, Barbara, for echoing that we are always God's beloved. Blessings, my friend,Agatha

It is good to read the stories in the New Testament and have a general idea of the meaning or lesson that the Gospel writers were trying to convey in capturing the teachings of Jesus. But it is even more meaningful when you see the story being lived out in our modern world. The Church of the Holy Trinity is an Episcopal Church in the Diocese of Tennessee located in downtown Nashville just a few blocks from the Rescue Mission. The church holds a worship service every Sunday at 1 PM for everyone in the neighborhood. After worship, they feed everyone a hot lunch and then have sack lunches that they can take with them. My church, St. George's Episcopal Church is in the same diocese, and we support their “Church in the Yard” worship service and feeding program on the 2nd Sunday of each month. We have one team that cooks and assembles sandwiches on Saturday and then we attend worship and serve food on Sunday at Church of the Holy Trinity. Yesterday was a very special day. It had been raining the weekend, so it was too muddy to have worship “in the yard” and the air conditioning had just gone out in the main church, so we had worship and fed everyone in the parish hall adjoining the church. We had 58 participants who attended worship and then 120 people who came for the hot lunch and sack lunch-to-go. It was a glorious day with people from all different nationalities and at different points in their journeys. One of our guests was helping to pick up the disposable dishes and trash after people finished eating and asked if we could reserve a hot lunch (pasta bake and roll) and sack lunch with water and hold it for him since he was busy helping others. We put his lunches and water back to the side so he could retrieve it when we had finished feeding everyone. After one hour and 120 people, everyone was fed, and we were out of food and water. We were finishing cleaning up and had locked one door when a lady walked in and said, “Do you have any food?”. I was apologetic and told her we had completely run out for the day. She said, “What about water? Do you have any water?” Again, I told her I was sorry, but we had given out all the water that we had. Just then, the gentleman helping with the trash came over and hearing the conversation, pointed to the lunches we'd reserved for him. He said, “Give her those”. We wanted to make sure we'd heard him correctly and asked, “Both lunches and the water? You want us to give her those that we'd saved for you?” He said, “Yes, everything”. As I handed her the hot lunch, lunch sack and water she started to cry as she walked off. Of course, I was reminded of Jesus's story in Mark 12:41-44. As the wealthy were putting large amounts of money into the temple treasury, Jesus took the disciples aside to explain to them how much more of a sacrifice the widow's offering of a few coins was because she gave out of her poverty and put in everything in the offering that she had to live on. That is what Jesus asks of us, too: to be willing to give up everything we have in His name. Blessings, my friend,Agatha

This Thursday of Holy Week is known as Maundy Thursday where we commemorate the Last Supper where Jesus celebrated his final meal with his disciples. After washing His disciples' feet as a sign of humility, Jesus gave them a new commandment, “"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another" (John 13:34). In Nashville this past week, we have experienced unspeakable grief with a school shooting at The Covenant School where three children, three adults, and the assailant perished within just a few minutes. We have unanswerable questions that keep swirling as to why a young person wants to take their life as well as the lives of others. It is as if the crucifixion was moved up on the calendar one week so we hear Pilate's words to Jesus, “What is truth?” But Jesus knew that Thursday that the end was near; less than 24 hours remained in our Lord's earthly life. Events moved rapidly that evening: there was prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane, betrayal by Judas, the arrest, mock trial, painful beating, the long walk to Golgotha and execution. In the Maundy Thursday service is the ancient custom of the Church in stripping the altar where all signs of comfort and life are removed to symbolize His suffering and death. Everything is removed, the altar cloths, the chair cushions, the candles, the prayer books. There is a silence that hovers as we watch in horror when we recognize that all our creaturely comforts are being removed from our lives, too. Tears begin to flow with small sobs as we realize the injustice that still exists in the world when an innocent people are killed. The church lights are lowered, almost extinguished. There is just enough light for people to trudge their way out in silence, contemplating what it would be like if it were us going to our death in 24 hours instead of Him. This year we gather again at 7:30PM Thursday to be reminded of our finitude and our fallenness as human beings. We have failed and we will fail again as evidenced by the condemning of an innocent man. This year we will also remember the other souls taken too soon who now rest in peace and rise in glory. Please join me at our Maundy Thursday service at 7:30PM, St. George's Episcopal Church, Nashville, TN. Blessings, my friend,Agatha

We wonder why it seems like God doesn't hear our cries. With Lent around the corner, I'm reminded of days of fasting and abstinence growing up in the Roman Catholic church. There was a sacrifice involved, but it was hard to not forget and accidentally eat meat on a Friday. It didn't seem that fasting brought me any closer to God.In Isaiah 58, we hear the prophet crying out as it seems that God isn't listening. The prophet begs for God to acknowledge the people and points out that they are fasting, worshiping, and studying the word of God all the time. Why does God continue to ignore their pleas?In verses 6-9, God responds and is clear. God doesn't want our fasting or even our worship, what God wants is for us to “break the chains of injustice, get rid of exploitation in the workplace, free the oppressed and cancel debts” (MSG). God wants us to share our food with the hungry, find homes for the homeless, put clothes on the ill-clad and be available to our own families.Fasting, worshiping and studying are not bad in themselves. But unless they result in actions to love our neighbor and help others to flourish, God will continue to ignore our pleas.I'm still contemplating where I will focus this Lenten season with Ash Wednesday only a few weeks away on February 22. I may fast some, I'll continue to worship and study the Word, but I also plan to spend time taking care of God's creation. My inword contemplation has to lead to outward actions for God to take notice and “turn the lights on.” “Then when you pray, God will answer.” Blessings, my friendAgatha

At Duke Divinity School, the Center for Spirituality, Theology and Health offers monthly webinars via zoom. I'm looking forward to the one this week: Spirituality, Recovery and Resilience: A Holistic Bio-Psycho-Social Spiritual Approach to Mental Health Treatment. (Anyone can join the free webinar: Tuesday, Jan 31, 2023, 11:00-12:00 CST. Zoom: https://duke.zoom.us/j/94380012247?pwd=aTZ2bUxWSWtQaG05bmFlNEQ4VXBpUT09) I've been reading a lot about the changes the pandemic had on us socially: we've become more isolated and in many cases, lonely. That has manifested throughout the U.S. in tragedies such as an increase in deaths from opiate addiction and mass shootings as well as more subtle outbursts of anger and hopelessness on social media. As a pharmacist, I practiced only occasionally in the area of psychopharmacy, but always wanted to know more about how our healthcare system considers mental health and ways that we can increase awareness. In my M.Div. program at Duke, I am also now interested in how spirituality and religion intersect with mental health. Growing up, talking about mental health issues was taboo. In the recent hit, Encanto, the number one song is “We Don't Talk About Bruno” in which Bruno is a family outcast and goes into hiding in his home. The first thing I thought was that Bruno had some issues that the family didn't want to deal with so he was banished from being recognized as part of the family. Watching Encanto for the first time made me realize that I have had mental health issues that I have “brushed under the rug” too. I'd become anorectic for a short time during my freshman year of college and that depression-caused eating disorder returned again during my treatment for breast cancer in 2008. It was never clear if my mother had become disoriented and taken too many morphine tablets or if was a more intentional desire to end her life when she was dying of cancer. One of my children threatened suicide prior to an intense two years of rehab and therapy and my husband had admittedly tried to drink himself to death during a time when I was in South Africa on a mission trip. I've had family members addicted to alcohol. Close friends have had friends or offspring with difficulties coping with life and unfortunately, some have resulted in suicide. I have to first ask myself, “Why don't we talk more about mental health and wellbeing?” I know that it seems like a somber topic, but we can't keep pushing it aside. On my blog, the page that gets the most ‘hits' is “Healing Prayer: For Those Suffering From Addiction.” I'm going to start talking more about it and asking my friends frequently, “Are you okay? I'm here to just listen if you want to talk.” It's just a first step, but an important one in bringing Mental Health Awareness out into the sunlight. Blessings, my friend,Agatha

Many of us had high expectations for 2022. After two years of the pandemic, 2022 had to be a better year. I heard a lot of people anxious to get back to “normal” and others vowed to make some changes and be thoughtful in their commitments. We were all relieved that the pandemic had subsided and that we had medications that at least made for lesser symptoms but did 2022 step up to our expectations?This past week I've talked with many people who expressed disappointment that 2022 wasn't what they had hoped. For me, I spent a lot of it recovering from emergency knee surgery which caused a lot of changed plans. I was thankful that I made it to my high school reunion in July but other trips with friends had to be cancelled. Twelve weeks with no driving and twenty weeks of physical therapy consumed my year as a constant reminder how physical limitations cause schedule adjustments. I was thankful for good friends who got me to doctor's and physical therapy appointments and brought me food.One close friend mused that we should lower our expectations for 2023. Maybe we want for too much. Wanting less will not change the circumstances but will at least cause us to see the year in a different light.I'd like to suggest that we ask a different question. Instead of asking if 2023 will be a better year, as Christians we only have one question to answer: “Do we trust that God will make everything right?” This is a much harder question to answer, but more practical when we have hope that eventually God will make everything right and there will be a new heaven and earth. It might not happen in 2023, or even in our lifetime, but we must believe that in eternity, God will conquer evil where there will be no more tears, and death will be no more.To all my friends who have lost loved ones in the past few years, or had their expectations dashed: we may experience disappointments and chaos again in 2023 but we must trust that God will make everything right.Blessings, my friend,Agatha

I feel best when I am serving others. In recognizing and helping with the needs of other people, it forces me to focus on someone other than me. It prevents me from being self-centered and wanting everything to be perfect in my world. I am blessed with abundance in my life, but it is easy for me to take the bountiful harvest for granted. There are always needs to be met if we are willing to look outside of ourselves. Yesterday, I had the privilege of helping a sister Episcopal church in Nashville with their Church in the Yard (CitY) service. Every Sunday this downtown church provides an outdoor worship service and then feeds anyone in the area. The Rescue Mission and Room in the Inn for the homeless are just blocks away and people come to worship in the church yard and then stay to eat. The plan is always for worship and food, but today it was too cold for an outdoor worship service. We still served a hot meal of pulled pork, cole slaw, and rolls and everyone got a sack lunch to go. We had 95 people to share lunch with today and it was a blessing for me to be able to participate in this wonderful ministry. We'll continue to serve on the 2nd Sunday of each month as the weather gets colder and the needs become greater. Blessings, my friend,Agatha

I seem to need to “return to center” frequently these days. The news across the world is tragic with wars and human oppression. The news seems relentless in its ability to promote anxiety. Regularly, I need to stop and to pray, but first I need to settle down into the right frame of mind to listen to what God is speaking to me. When I need to re-center, it is almost always that I turn to music before i am ready to return to God.I have always loved all kinds of music but have been most intrigued by classical music. A few years ago, I invited a friend who likes rock and roll to go with me to a classical concert and he said, “I don't know much about classical music, you'll have to explain it to me.” And my reply: “It really isn't to be explained but more about being experienced. The notes can take you anywhere your mind needs to be.”This piece is by Johann Sebastian Bach with Andreas Scholl, a countertenor. It is from Bach's Mass in B minor with this 6:38 section in the key of B flat-major and G minor. The Agnus Dei which means “Lamb of God” appears at the end of the mass and is based upon Christ's final appearance to the disciples before his Ascension into heaven. It comes from John the Baptist's words in John 1:29: “Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!” In addition to the music of the violins, I like that this is scored for an alto voice. I'm an alto and we never get a melody! Link to: Agnus Dei by Johann Sebastian Bach with Andreas Scholl (8:07): https://vimeo.com/760898958 May Peace be with you.Agatha

Santiago and Teresa What if a Sabbath isn't just about rest? We first encounter Sabbath when God finished the work of creating the world and rested on the seventh day (Gen 2:2). In the next verse, God blesses the seventh day and declares it hallowed (or holy). I've heard preaching about the Sabbath for years and many times the admonition is to attend a worship service and reframe from all work. I've always been a churchgoer, but as hard as I've tried, I've never been able to come close to avoiding all work and effort on a Sunday after worship. Whether it was cooking a Sunday meal or catching up on work (including homework), I have always had something on my “to-do” list that carried over into Sunday and again, I failed to “keep” the Sabbath. I'm re-thinking Sabbath in light of the third verse in Genesis 2 in which God declares the Sabbath as a “holy” day. When God blesses the day, it becomes rich with blessings. Rather than a day of aimless rest, the day provides the space for us to keep focused on God. Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel says, “The Sabbath is no time for personal anxiety or care, for any activity that might dampen the spirit of joy…it is a day for praise, not a day for petitions. Fasting, mourning, demonstrations of grief are forbidden.” When I am engaging in activities which bring me joy, I am recognizing that my joy comes from God providing a richness of blessings. I have many things that bring me joy particularly a walk in the park, playing with my dogs and taking photographs. Being with friends also brings me joy. I wonder if some activities that may be “work” to me, bring joy to others. Cooking can be joyful when feeding family and friends, or it can be “work” when done only for sustenance. On my Sabbath day, I plan to concentrate on activities which recognize God as the creator and the source of all joy. It may look different every week, but in my joy I will keep the Sabbath holy and give praise to God through my worship and my energy. It even may involve quite a bit of activity! Blessings, my friend,Agatha

This is a book review of a new book by Norman Wirzba: Agrarian Spirit: Cultivating Faith, Community and the Land (published August 1, 2022)

A man who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years was healed by Jesus in Bethesda (John 5:1-15). In Luke 8:43-48, Jesus healed a woman who had been suffering from hemorrhages for twelve years in Capernaum. I've wondered about the healing miracles. How did Jesus choose who to heal? It appears that having faith (or having friends or loved ones with faith) has a lot to do with it. The invalid had been suffering long before Jesus was even born, and we presume that the woman had recently come to faith because she'd heard of Jesus' healing. But in one moment, both were healed. I've spent a lot of time lately wondering about healing and faith and listening to God. I fell and broke my kneecap in March and had surgery in April. After sixteen weeks I'm just getting back to driving and walking without a brace or cane. I still have physical therapy to go but am expected to make a full recovery and for that I am thankful. For me, healing didn't come in one decisive blow. It has been very gradual these past 16 weeks, more like the blind man in Bethsaida who first sees trees and then later sees people (Mark 8:22-25) before his vision is finally fully restored. I believe that emotional healing is the same for me as physical healing. It takes more time and is a bit unpredictable. The emotional loss of a good friend, or a contentious personal relationship may take a while to heal and I can't hurry it. I'm resting now in the understanding that healing is on God's time, not mine and I can be assured that he will bind every wound and wipe away every tear. I pray that we all take the time we need to heal from physical, emotional, and spiritual ailments. We can't hurry God's time, but instead we can rest in the knowledge that God will heal us. Peace, my friend,Agatha

In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about the body as a unit being made up of many parts and that God has arranged them all just the way God wanted them (18). Paul goes on to say, “those parts of the body that seem weaker are indispensable (22). I was glad to re-read these verses this week for reassurance that all God has made is important and all works together to serve God. In March I fell in some water at the house and broke my right kneecap resulting in surgery in April. I've been in a knee immobilizer for 4 weeks and just started 6 weeks of physical therapy yesterday. We are all predicting and praying for a complete recovery with a return to walking and playing golf in the future. But for now, it seems I'm on somewhat of an extended rest. No driving and limited walking to reduce the swelling and help the healing. I'm a good patient, but this is certainly not what I'd planned for in retirement! This was the summer for Divinity School (I'm on medical leave), my post-retirement reward of a Holy Land cruise with an old friend (cancelled), and medical leave from my golf club. Although not specifically called out by Paul like hands, eyes, ears, a nose, and feet, I've come to appreciate how important two working and healthy knees are! I've also have realized just how much “busyness” I had planned post-pandemic. My God has slowed me down to a crawl and for that I am thankful. I have the luxury of reading good books and keeping up with my friends via calls, emails or texts. I have wonderful friends from church that have fed me and shuttled me to doctor's appointments, and friends from afar sent comforting gifts and texts/calls to remind me of our friendships. I've slowed down enough to appreciate those kindnesses more than all the other “activities” I had planned. I am also learning that everything doesn't have to happen “right now”. Hopefully school will resume in the Fall, golf will restart at some point in the future and there will always be another cruise or vacation to take with my friend. I know Paul was talking about how each of us has different spiritual gifts and that no one contributes more or less to furthering the kingdom of God. But on a practical standpoint, I'm glad he used our physical bodies for the metaphor. We need to take care of our bodies as well so that we can use our spiritual gifts to the fullest. Blessings, my friend,Agatha

I return to thoughts of my time walking the Camino de Santiago in Spain in 2019 almost every day. It was my last great adventure before the pandemic and it was spiritually enriching, clarifying what retirement from full-time employment would look like. It was my Camino that eventually led to a renewed dedication to my faith and enrollment at Duke Divinity School in Durham, NC where I've just completed my second term in a Master of Divinity degree. It is a hybrid program so that I can continue to work part-time at my church in Nashville and take most of the classwork on-line. As I write today, there is a tremendous amount of suffering in the world. Refugees are fleeing their homelands with the war in Ukraine adding to the recent influx of Afghans in Middle Tennessee. I am unable to imagine what it is like to have your home destroyed by mortar shells and huddle in subways for warmth, planning an escape. This past week my thoughts returned to one photo from my trip to Spain: Cristo con brazo caido (Christ with the fallen arm). I was stunned when I walked into the chapel in Furelos, Spain and I sat for a long time contemplating the vision of the artist. Christ reaches his right arm down to us, beckoning for us to join him on the cross. In this life, we will have many troubles and suffer much, just as Christ suffered on the cross. We are never alone, Christ reaches down to pull us closer to him, not just to share his suffering but also to share his love. I hope that you have a blessed and fruitful Holy Week. As we are reminded of Christ's suffering, we are also reminded of his strong arms holding us tightly with his love. Blessings, my friend,Agatha

I've prayed with prayer beads for most of my life, both Roman Catholic rosaries and Anglican prayer beads. I like the flexibility with the Anglican prayer beads because there are no set prayers. Sometimes I pray for 33 of my friends; either for their health or in thanksgiving they are my friends. Other times I pray through the Psalms. It is this flexibility that led me to write: You Are Loved: Praying with John which has verses from the Gospel and Letters of John that are said with Anglican Prayer Beads. I can't hear enough how much God loves me and it is comforting to read the familiar words when the world seems awry.I've done a short video (10:43) that explains the history of prayer beads and includes the first chapter of John from my book. I hope you enjoy this ancient spiritual practice and will consider making it part of your routine as we find ways to go deeper into God's presence.You Are Loved: Praying with John: Video Link. Questions? Or leave a comment here on your experience.Blessings, my friendAgatha (Amazon link to purchase print or Kindle copies of the book)

As I embark on my quest to be a better disciple, I've been studying core courses at Duke University in Old Testament. I hear lots of Scripture read and preached each Sunday as we follow the Revised Common Lectionary, but I am coming to understand that the parts that we don't read in the three-year cycle may be as important as those we do, particularly in understanding the character of God.My preconceived notion was that the God of the Old Testament was a vengeful God, whereas the Jesus of the New Testament was the conciliatory, loving version, but the scene in all four Gospels of Jesus overthrowing the tables of the money changers in the temple and casting them out seemed out of character for this shepherd of lost sheep!Our lively student discussion helped me to see that my impression of God in the Old Testament is distorted, just like my impression of Jesus in the New Testament. In studying Isaiah, the prophet points out the grandeur of God's anger, “Who among us can dwell with the devouring fire?”, “Who among us can dwell with everlasting burnings?” (Isa 33:14), but Abraham Heschel (The Prophets) brings clarity to the relationship between God and God's people:However, the destructiveness of God's power is not due to God's hostility to man, but God's concern for righteousness, to God's intolerance of injustice. The human mind seems to have no sense for the true dimension of man's cruelty to man. God's anger is fierce because man's cruelty is infernal (p. 101).Heschel continues, “Significantly, the speech that opens the book of Isaiah (1:2-3) deals not with anger, but with the sorrow of God. The prophet pleads with us to understand the plight of a father whom his children have abandoned” (p. 101).If God is not always looking for opportunities to punish me just out of cruelness, but instead is looking for reconciliation, how does that change my perspective of God (and correspondingly of Jesus)?I won't ever have complete answers to my questions, but I am traveling down a new path of understanding.Blessings, my friend,Agatha *Image: The Prophet Isaiah- Michelangelo, 1508-1512, Ceiling of the Sistine Chapel

The Hebrew word for psalm, mizmôr, has a root that means “to pluck” as in a stringed instrument. The Psalms are meant to be sung as we hear in monasteries throughout the world.The Psalms are divided into five books, perhaps to suggest the division of the Torah, and are also grouped into five types: thanksgiving, royalty, wisdom, lament, and praise.Each Psalm can help us in different situations and today's reading is from Psalm 85. Verse 8 is:“I will listen to what the Lord God is saying,For he is speaking peace to his faithful peopleAnd to those who turn their hearts to him.”I have to be constantly reminded to listen for God's voice. Although I've lived a long time and encountered many situations, each one is unique in its own time. I can't rely on my past experiences to be duplicated in the future. It's what makes life exciting: I learn something new about God every day!In Psalm 85 we have a promise that God will speak to us and to speak peace. It is only up to us to be faithful and turn our hearts to God; God will take care of all the rest.In studying the Old Testament, I'm learning new things about God, particularly that God is faithful to his chosen people. That brings me great comfort in an unpredictable world with unknown outcomes. But God loves his people and will deliver us in peace.Blessings, my friendAgatha

The story is familiar: this is the season where we await the birth of a baby that changed the world. Growing up Roman Catholic and now Episcopalian, I enjoy the familiar rhythms of the liturgical year. Advent starts the new year with four Sundays before the Christmas season.With Ol' St. Nick and gift exchanges, everyone knows the story of the baby in the manger born under the stars surrounded by parents and a few barnyard animals. It's a lovely story of a cooing baby who is born of humble beginnings but grows into the manhood destined for him. It's hard not to love a newborn!But if we follow the liturgical calendar, we know how the story ends. As we proceed through the church year, we see scenes of Christ growing up in the Jewish traditions of the time and then being recognized as a great teacher and preacher. It is when signs and miracles start occurring (like turning the water into wine at Cana), that people start sitting up straight and noticing: this is not just the son of the carpenter from Nazareth, there is more in this embodied figure that is beyond our understanding.We do know how the story continues through the rest of the year with the denials, persecutions and the crucifixion. Hopefully we make it to Easter and to the resurrected Christ who gives us all hope.But that isn't the end of the story. All the Gospels stop shortly after the Resurrection. Just as Paul Harvey would say at the end of each episode of his radio program, “Now you know….the rest of the story”, and we as Christians know the rest of the story, too.Our readings for the 1st Sunday of Advent include Jeremiah 33:14-16 where we are told that there will be a day where Jesus will “execute justice and righteousness in the land.” We have hope in this described future where heaven and earth will be reunited, not as a formless void that we read of in Genesis 1, but instead a blending of heaven and earth where everything and everyone lives in perfect harmony and where there will be “no more death, or mourning, or crying, or pain.” (Rev 21:4)I believe that my job here is to peel back one corner of heaven to show everyone what that perfect world will look like as it breaks into our time right now here on earth. And that really is, the “rest of the story.” Blessings, my friend,Agatha

Many churches have “stewardship campaigns” in the fall when church members pledge how much they will be able to monetarily support the church in the coming year. Knowing this amount and applying historical information allows churches to predict both income and expenses to ensure a balanced budget.In Deuteronomy we are instructed to “set aside a tenth” of the following resources: seed, grain, wine, oil, and firstlings of herds and flocks, and to gather our family and extended family to eat the meal together as a sacrificial meal in a place chosen by God. This sounds a lot like church on Sunday morning and the celebration of the Eucharist to me!In our Old Testament class this term, we've been studying Genesis through Nehemiah. I'd always skimmed over these books but studying them in school made me slow down and really read them. Our midterm paper was on the Mishkan, the building of the Tabernacle where God would reside. In Exodus chapter 36 we read about the two craftsman, Bezalel and Oholiab who were called by the Lord to construct the sanctuary according to God's detailed instructions. In verses 5 and 6 we hear that the skilled artisans said to Moses, “The people are bringing much more than enough for doing the work that the Lord has commanded us to do. So Moses gave command, and word was proclaimed throughout the camp: “No man or woman is to make anything else as an offering for the sanctuary.” So the people were restrained from bringing; for what they had already brought was more than enough to do all the work.”What would it be like if the pledges that we make to our churches this stewardship season were so many that the Lord said, “Stop! Enough! What you have brought is more than enough to do all the work in my name.”I pray for a bountiful harvest and a season of generous followers of the Lord.Blessings, my friend, Agatha

Osamu Fujimura by Bruce Herman November 1 is All Saints' Day where we celebrate the Communion of Saints. We've lost many loved ones these past 20 months and we've had little time to grieve. This is my last week of Preaching class at Duke Divinity School and I chose to preach on the Gospel reading for today from the Gospel of John. We'll be moving the actual celebration to next Sunday so that we can celebrate together and welcome new members into our church through baptism.It's a little over 10 minutes long. I'd appreciate your feedback on the message and the delivery of the sermon. It has been a wonderful class and I've learned so much, and I hope to continue to hone the craft of preaching in the years to come.LINK to Video: https://vimeo.com/640731828 Blessings, my friend,Agatha

This week's preaching assignment is to provide the CONCLUSION only to a sermon. I chose the Gospel reading in Mark when James and John ask Jesus to be appointed to sit at his right and left hand. This is a short one: 1:44.Here's the link to the video: Video#4 Agatha Nolen Mark 10_35-45_Trim.mp4

This week's Preaching assignment was to tell something that we know about God (in 3 minutes). I know God is a miracle worker and here is the story.Blessings,Agathalink to video: https://vimeo.com/622565021

Our first “full-length” sermon was due this week for Preaching in the Digital Age Class and I've included it here. I value your feedback to make me a better preacher. The first 1:50 is a reading of the text from the NRSV and the remainder is the homily. I read from the text, but the sermon was preached without a manuscript. Could you answer the following questions in evaluating my sermon?In one sentence, what was the sermon about? What was the “Good News” from the Scripture?Did I convince you why you should care about the “Good News”?Was I clear on how the “Good News” changed me?Thanks for your feedback!Blessings,AgathaLink to Video: https://vimeo.com/manage/videos/613998782

This week in our Preaching in the Digital Age class we learned a lot about technology and its usefulness in spreading the Good News both through worship services and extemporaneous short homilies posted on social media. Father Cathie does a 2 minute “GOOD NEWS” episode each Monday morning on social media. We are learning a lot about what works and doesn't work, but also to accept that mistakes will happen!This week's Scripture for our Preaching practice is 1 Corinthians 3:1-9. We have a few minutes to compose a sermon and then preach it! I compared Paul's discussion about division in the first few verses with his description of division in the last. You can see the video below. Please give me honest (but kind) feedback as the point of the class is to give us practical preaching experience and be able to improve on our craft of preaching. I can use your help to identify things you liked, and things that I can improve upon. Thank you for being willing to listen as I listen and speak about God's words in my life.Blessings,Agatha

In our Spiritual Formation class for first-year M.Div. students we are reading, So Much Better: How Thousands of Pastors Help Each Other Thrive (The SPE Peer Learning Project) (2013). The early chapters of the book talk about forming peer groups of ministers and pastors who, “(1) gather around their calling; (2) make an intentional covenant for spiritual support, theological challenge and mutual accountability; (3) spend time with one another in prayer, at meals, and through travel; and (4) take what (and how) they've learned into their ministries. In doing so, they replicate a first-century disciple model. This kind of peer learning is sacred practice.” (p. 5)It was exciting to read case studies of successful peer groups, particularly among women clergy, but I found myself asking on each page, “Why wait?”My M.Div. is a hybrid program so I'm in residence at Duke University in Durham, NC for three weeks each year (one each in August, January, and May). These “intensive weeks” start our new semester and my first one was two weeks ago.We started with a Spiritual Formation retreat on Saturday at the Chestnut Ridge Camp and Retreat Center about 25 miles from Durham. I was a little early (as usual) and had my choice of places to sit in our opening session. We were “three to a table” and I picked a table in the back. As I introduced myself to the lone occupant, I mentioned I was from Nashville and she said, “A small world; I'm from Knoxville.” So the first person I meet is Director of worship and discipleship at a Methodist church in Knoxville!After our opening session at the retreat, we had a choice of 3 outdoor activities for an hour. My new friend and I chose to “beautify” the campground by picking up trash. As we assembled our new group, we did introductions and met two more ladies from Tennessee, this time both in the Middle Tennessee area! One works at a Methodist Church and another for a local non-profit.How great it was to have a group of “Holy Friendships” in the first 30 minutes!! And no need to wait until we have completed our M.Div. program. We studied together, discussed homework, ate together and worshiped together at Morning Prayer to start each day throughout intensive week. And now that we are in the Zoom portion of our classes for the rest of the semester, I get to see them each week in our classes on-line (not to mention texts in-between!)And we'll travel together as we'll all be together for three weeks each year for the next four years!!I am blessed to have found these lovely, faith-filled ladies within minutes of my arrival. One professor said that the relationships we form may be even more important than the classes in which we'll learn.I think he's right.Blessings to my old friends and new friends,Agatha

Last week was “intensive week” at Duke Divinity School. Yes, I've enrolled in the 4-year M.Div.-Hybrid program where I'll be on campus in Durham, NC three weeks each year (August, January, May) and then have synchronous on-line classes for the remainder of the semesters. I won't be in an ordination track but instead hope to be a better disciple and devote more time and attention to serving as a lay leader in my church. I fully expected to approach these studies as I had with all other academic programs: with a serious intensity to learning.Something is different about this program and the people I've met. All the professors emphasized that this is not about being the best preacher or even the best student, but instead it is about being formed in the likeness of Christ and growing into our individual spiritual gifts. It may mean being the best at some aspect, but it is not a competition. They all echoed that their job is not to “inform” us, but instead to “form” us.I was amazed at the “joy” from both the professors and my fellow students! This is the largest incoming class in the history of Duke Divinity, so we have already made history by just showing up. It is as if God declared us “beloved” before we've had a chance to do anything! What a wonderful nurturing feeling to be in this new community.The past 18 months have not had a lot of joy. The ravages of the COVID pandemic on healthcare workers and individual families have brought untold grief that has left virtually no one untouched. As my father would say, “If it weren't for bad news, there wouldn't be any news at all.”But then there is God among us, encouraging us as we hear in Psalm 126:5-6: “Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.”In my preaching class, we are reading a book by Susan Sparks, “Preaching Punchlines: The Ten Commandments of Comedy”. As an American Baptist pastor, Susan encourages us to put some joy back into our lives and to “write down three to five funny things every day.” This shouldn't be too hard for me with a rambunctious two-year-old golden retriever!I plan to look for joy every day, even though it may be in hiding like “good news.” Hopefully you will hear that joy in one of my future sermons!Blessings,Agatha

Using prayer beads is an ancient monastic tradition. This new book uses the Gospel and Letters of John to inspire us to allow the Holy Spirit to speak to us through the verses using Anglican Prayer Beads.

In Ephesians Chapters 4-5, Paul provides us with practical advice on how to best live in our neighborhood. In addition to “putting away falsehood”, Paul tells us to be “kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.” These words echo hollowly in my head when I scroll through my Facebook feed, or glance at the evening news. Most posts appear to be anything but kind.Paul talks about speaking truth to each other not only because it is the right thing to do but also because as a community we are linked inseparately to each other. A lawyer wants to know how he can inherit eternal life and Jesus responds “love your neighbor as yourself”. Of course, the lawyer wants more definition and asks Jesus (Luke 10:29), “Who is my neighbor?” but the lawyer's unspoken question is “Who Am I?”Later in Ephesians, Paul tells us to put away bitterness, wrath and anger as well as slander and malice or we will be making room for the devil. We can apply this wisdom to others but also to ourselves. Are we bitter when things don't work out the way we want, or do we experience anger when others appear to be more successful than we are? (Jesus doesn't say to never get angry, but he asks us to deal with it, so it doesn't lead to sin).If God is personified in our neighbors and ourselves, when we get angry, we are really getting angry at God. Is that how we really feel about God?Paul reminds us that first God has forgiven us. We do not have to learn to forgive on our own; we have a teacher. Paul says in 5:1-2, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love..”If we truly believe and live in God's love, it is natural for us to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another…”.God has forgiven us and we need to imitate God by living in love.Blessings, my friend,Agatha

Only in John's Gospel do we read the story of Jesus healing the paralytic at the Bethesda Pool by the Sheep's Gate in Jerusalem. Tradition held that the first person immersed in the water would be completely healed. When Jesus encounters a man outside the pool and learns he has been an invalid for 38 years he asks him if he wants to get well (John 5:6). The man really doesn't answer Jesus' question but complains, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”Jesus appreciates the man's predicament and heals him on the spot, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk. At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.” (John 5:8-9) The Synoptic Gospels all have another story about a paralyzed man on a mat being healed, but it is slightly different (Matthew 9:1-8, Mark 2:1-12, Luke 5:17-26). In these stories, Jesus is outside of Capernaum and a crowd has gathered in a house to hear him teach and preach. It is so crowded, no one else can get in. But four friends of a paralyzed man have also heard of Jesus' healing power, and they are determined to get their friend close to Jesus. So, they cut a hole in the roof and lower the man on his mat into the house where Jesus is.In these accounts, Jesus doesn't ask the man on the mat any questions, instead all three Gospels recount, “When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven…So he said to the paralyzed man, ‘I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.' Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. (Luke 5: 20, 24-25)At the Bethesda pool, the man has no friends to help him; in the Synoptic Gospels the man is healed because of his friends, “When Jesus saw their faith...” In all these stories, the paralyzed man isn't asked to demonstrate his faith in order to receive healing. In studying these Scripture verses, I've been asking myself two questions:1. Are there people I know that need my prayers (to get to the healing pool (Jesus) first)?2. Will Jesus recognize that my faith is strong and heal the people I pray for? Blessings, my friend,AgathaImage: Baptistry Wall Painting: Christ Healing the Paralytic, Paint on Plaster, ca. 232 CE, Yale University Art Gallery

Two years ago I started planning for my retirement from full-time employment in healthcare and I also started an informal process of “discernment” about what I would be doing with all the “extra time”. In my denomination, Episcopal, there is a formal process for those seeking ordination to the clergy or diaconate. I've served on a handful of those committees and as part of the process asked myself if I was feeling a calling to become clergy. In all cases, the answer has returned as a “no.” I knew I wanted to spend time in service to God, but what does that look like as a layperson? I asked a few close friends to help with the process by listening to me and probing me with questions when I was gravitating toward one area or another. Over the past two years they've asked insightful questions: “What have you done that has brought you joy?”“What are the ministries that you are passionate about in serving the Lord?”“Is there a person, place or activity that consistently centers your spirit, that reconfirms your person?” I didn't always have the direct answer to the questions, but they made me think.I knew the next chapter would be focused on growing in my faith as a disciple of Jesus. The Way of Love is a way of life in the Episcopal church. I've been studying the seven elements since attending an Episcopal Revival in Honduras in 2018: Turn, Learn, Pray, Worship, Bless, Go, and Rest.After three years of prayerful thought, I retired in August 2020. I will be focusing on “Learn” for the next few years as I'll be enrolling as a Hybrid Master of Divinity student at Duke Divinity School this Fall. I'll be able to continue to live in Nashville traveling to Durham, NC for three residency weeks each year and then synchronous on-line classes for the remainder of the semester. This will allow me to continue to serve in my current ministries in Nashville, and even explore new ones as I journey through the program. I'm excited to be studying Old Testament in my first semester.The thought of meeting new students and professors and engaging in religious discussions brings me great joy! I hope to learn how to help people see their own lives in Scripture.Please add me to your prayer list for this new adventure. I pray also that you will find what brings you joy and centers your being, and that you will pursue it for the glory of God.Blessings, my friend,Agatha

Much of art depicts the struggle of man against man in the spiritual quest for meaning. Picasso was renowned in Cubism in being able to take a familiar object, dismantle it and then re-assemble it. It is still recognizable, but in a distinctly new form. I had the privilege of revisiting a favorite artwork: Man on Fire, the mural by José Clemente Orozco in the cupola of the Hospicio Cabañas, Guadalajara. It has become known as the Sistine Chapel of the Americas and my hosts were Michael and Cecilia Shibya Nolen.Just like the future is unknown, so too is the face of The Man of Fire, hidden and indistinct as the flames lick across his head and neck and surround his entire body. He is the idealized future where people will cast off the notions of culture, race and nationality. Chains that have enslaved humankind throughout its history. Orozco dreamed of a world where a new race would be forged out of the fires of the chaotic world. A united humanity freed from prejudices that are associated with race. In the past, when the Spaniards came to the New World and encountered the Indigenous Peoples, there was conflict and violence. But out of this “fire,” a new race was formed with its own distinct culture and identity. In the corner are four men representing Earth's four races. Their arms are stretched above their heads, holding up the great weight of the circle that represents the Earth. Their muscles are bulging with strain, symbolizing how society has repressed mankind through its political and religious institutions despite their promises for a better world. Gazing at this masterpiece after a long year of the pandemic, I am reminded of the people that we have lost both in their suffering and the suffering they have left behind as we balanced policies against life. Orozco believed that the human spirit is unquenchable, regardless of the horrors or cruelties that men inflect on men. After this deconstruction period, it is time for us to relaunch our spiritual quest to determine meaning for our life and our faith as we emerge from this time of fire. Will we be reconstructed in a different way to alleviate the suffering of our fellow man instead of casting him into the flames in our endless pursuit of power?Are there spiritual disciplines that you will resume, or adopt as we emerge from the ashes?Blessings, my friend,Agatha

My parents instilled in me that decisions have consequences. It was unfortunate that Jon Rahm had to withdraw from the Memorial Golf Tournament this weekend for a positive COVID-19 test after taking a 6-shot lead on Saturday. Jon missed out on winning the tournament and also the $1.675 million top prize. Rahm has made over $3.8 million on the Tour this year with a current ranking of #12 of money-earners. In addition, he will have to self-isolate for 10 days which will mean a shortened practice schedule for the U.S. Open at Torrey Pines June 14-20.It hasn't been clear from the news media if Jon had gotten vaccinated, but he was on the COVID-19 contact tracing protocol after it was discovered Monday that he had been in close contact with someone who was positively diagnosed. As vaccinations were more readily available, the PGA Tour updated its testing protocol on April 19, 2021, so fully vaccinated individuals no longer were subject to routine testing, and if they came in contact with an individual, they no longer needed to quarantine. It appears that making a decision to not get vaccinated may have been a costly decision for Rahm.I can share the anguish of playing the best golf round of my life, but having to cut it short so it doesn't count. It has happened to me a number of times, but always out of my control as it was weather-related. I don't know how it would feel to know that I could have won a tournament if I'd made a different decision.Some decisions are straight-forward and we know that they are wrong when we make them. Others are more subtle where the consequences aren't assured, and we are weighing the pros and cons to determine the correct path. Even then, sometimes the pros and cons aren't clear, or are rapidly changing, like our understanding of COVID-19 transmission and precautions.I'm sorry for Jon; it sounds like he is asymptomatic and hopefully will go on to win other golf tournaments. But it is a good lesson for all of us: decisions matter.I spend some time in prayer before big decisions. Hopefully the right path will become clear and I will have the wisdom to take the correct fork in the road.P.S.- I just started working Sudoku puzzles. Seems like if I make a wrong decision, I have to completely start over at the beginning. Each decision has extreme consequences if it's not the right one.Blessings, my friend,AgathaPhoto credit: Jordan Spieth tees off on 12 during the third round of the Memorial Tournament at Muirfield Village Golf Club in Dublin, Ohio on Saturday, June 5, 2021. Photo by The Columbus Dispatch