PodCaust

The fabled episode 78 is here. Creed has returned, and we don't give a shit. The Jerky Boys had their day in the sun and Ceej relished in it. Juggalo porn is horrible and shouldn't be considered porn, Rorshach is gonna kill some teens, Rob's nightmares would be sexually awesome and we chat about the lovely ladies that put up with our nerdness. Ceej finally sees District 9 and Watchmen while Jared Leto is kind of a dick. A bunch of voicemail and Rob finally spills the beans on the big announcement that has been alluded to for months.

This is a special episode. The Beginning. The first episode. EVER. Only heard by about 5 people, this episode never saw the light of day. Until now. The very first ever attempt at recording our little show has been found within Rob's external harddrive. Buried between hardcore porn, escape plans in case of a zombie epidemic, pictures of unicorns and episodes of Duck Tales, this gem was found. The quality is suspect but that only shows how much we have grown since then. Not much. We hope you enjoy this very special episode of PodCaust. And remember, never get into a car with a stranger and if your uncle wants to play Neptune, King of the Sea, just say no.

RIP Patrick Swayze and Jim Carroll. We take a moment of silence before getting into a frank discussion about Ceej's skeezy liphair, the difference between bar fights and cop fights, and who we want to see throwing riddles around. Rob loathes Fable and berates Ceej for being a sassy scoundrel. Rob loves the hell out of Banjo and Kazooie and we reminisce about how we used to kill our legomen by drowning them. A ton of voice mails involving velociraptors, crazy white people and a disturbing one involving clowns. Ceej distrusts everyone and Rob wants to ride around like R.Crumb in his celebrity sex fantasy.

Oh the horrors of gym class. Ceej used his big brain to get out of most it while Rob figured out how to sneak away to smoke everytime. Buddhist Monks piss off Ceej, Rob can't wait for the Ren Fest and we daydream about being superheroes. Rob went LARPing as a teen and regretted it, Ceej is amazed by Rob's poor taste in comedies and we discuss Tarantino's films. Fred Durst calls in, Hocken's power comes from his v-necks and our BLT drive just went AWOL.

We start off with Ceej declaring that kids shouldn't have confidence and move on to one man's harrowing journey while trying to kick the H. Rob hangs out with Bruce Leeroy, doesn't hang out with The Blues Brothers and then we talk about Avatar and the other Avatar. Gamers are fat, people still hate nerds, and we make some pretty bad fashion choices. Then, voicemail!

We finally take a fucking vacation and come back with some stupid stories. Ceej loves him some steak, Rob gets cockblocked by some Asians, and Ceej doesn't care about friendship. Rob cries during the Wrath of Khan, Ceej spoils Harry Potter and jams to Wizards of Rock, our new Police Academy band is born, we meet up with Fej from the boards. Then Rob and Lesley spoil the shit out of District 9 during their segment at the end of the episode.

What's with these kids today and their bippin' and their boppin' and their hippin' and their hoppin'? We don't get it and we kindly invite you to get off of our fucking lawn. During all of this we discuss the use of CGI vs. practical effects, the fact that adults still talk shit, and just what did ICP mean when they rapped about going chicken hunting?

If you like Marmaduke, you'll love us! Buff Headcheese gets banned and gets death threats. Rob gets semi banned and gets support. Lesley gets banned into the shed and Ceej doesn't do anything. During all of this we talk about Comic Con, Freddy, Obi-Wan's cock envy, crying during movies and the return of Fan Fiction Theater.

Rob almost dies and because of this asks Ceej to respect his final wishes. Ceej reluctantly drops some mega news, we laugh at picky eaters and discuss mind altering substances. Samwise Gamgee was a badass in Toy Soldiers, LL Cool J was supposed to be a badass in Toys and voice mail!

The King of Pop has died. Ed is dead. David is gone and Farrah as well. Whatever shall we do? What we always do. We take a quick moment of silence before diving into the hot issues of the week: Magnum PI, autoerotic asphyxiation with spotters, superhero cockblocking, Xbox STD's, busting ghosts and the return of Mad Libs. Also, never look down. You never know what Rob is holding.

Rob is forgetful and Ceej feels betrayed. Rob then dresses in drag and almost gets raped, Zack Morris can save the day and we hope the windsock look catches on. We make up and we discuss some random flicks (Critters, One Crazy Summer, The Stand, Suburban Commando and more!), the late night war and new video game releases.

Ceej talks about the lack of haunted houses in his search for a perfect home. Then we discuss the epicness that was E3. Microsoft won, Sony did their best and Nintendo has just lost it. There are a lot of new games coming out and some exciting technology is headed our way.

Taking this back to basics here yet again. We love the hell out of the new show, Obsessed and we discuss how fucked up those people are. Ceej finally checks out Night of the Comet and we have a serious discussion about joing the military. Rob was tormented as a child, Ceej wears questionable attire and we discuss alter egos of the worst kind.

And the first seal has been broken: Ceej actually drinks during the episode and gets drunk. Rob spoils the shit out of the new Terminator movie around 5:00 - 13:00 so skip ahead if you don't want to be spoiled. We learn that CJ finally admits that LOST is...losing him, Bruce Campbell needs to stop being Bruce Campbell and we learn what animals we'd be if we were Furries. Nerdcore, comedians, inFamous and more are discussed. Also, we bust out a random freestyle in the middle, and Rob attempts to flow. A fun and random episode.

It pays to be nice to your server and if you decide not to, make sure you have backup. We discuss the merits of Ralph Bakshi and why Roger Rabbit kicks ass. Rob totally would have tried to nail Boof and Jordan and competetive eating may be right up our alleys. Rob talks about polygamy and the benefits of it along with the drawbacks during a zombie attack. We listen to some voice mail and Ceej decides to spoil The Uninvited. Thank god.

Just how much does it suck buying a house? Ceej will tell us tales of ratipedes, mystery spots and much, much more. Then we chat about celebrity chefs, SNL, and intelligent science fiction movies. What are some of the best/worst movie to video games and video games to movies? Prepare to find out.

What's our name? PODCAUST! We brainstorm other ideas and entertain the thought of Cj being the leader. Cj describes how he could make the Saw franchise relevant and Rob gets super excited about a trip back to the Predator universe. The Russians sucked, robots were awesome, and Brock Samson is a pimp.

It's one of THOSE episodes. You know, drunken and rambling... Would we make good stand up comedians? Rob wouldn't, but Ceej would kill. Crank it up to 11 and get prepared for to hear drunken commentary on the following subjects: DDR, Happy Days = Sin City, Bioshock 2, Peggle, our thoughts on some SNES RPGs and more.

Coming soon: PodCaust The Movie...We self indulge for a bit with our musical project and then we move on to the hot topics of the day: Robot Sex, hauntings, Tony Todd, Cloud and the Downward Spiral and some listener mail!

We push it to the limit, in both our normal lives and our lives on the island. What would Saved by the Bell be like if George Orwell wrote it? CJ loves the McChicken, Rob idolized Carl Winslow and we both enjoy Star Trek. UHF rocks the house, Rob enjoys breasts and CJ still has bad taste regarding tv shows, mainly BSG and his hatred of it.

We go back to basics with this one. No segments and lots of rambling. Watchmen was great and people just need to accept that. We go off on a tangent involving the backlash. Then we come back together to discuss IT, Eastbound and Down, and the fact we both hate The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Repent and put on your black tennis shoes.

We're fucking indestructible and will down forward punch you fools. In the face. But before all of this we chat about LOST, Matt Frewer, The Lost Boys, MST3k, uncomfortable erections, scar-fucking and Sam Rockwell. It's one of those episodes...

CJ misses Dear John and hates the smell of old people. Noone propositioned us for sex at the casino. Tobe Hooper apparently offended CJ with his shitty directing. Randy Quaid kicks some alien ass, The Wrestler pins CJ, and Brent Spiner rocks all. Remakes don't really bother us, Friday the 13th was decent and Resident Evil 2 still kicks ass.

We have our fingers on the pulse of entertainment for we are serious business. We also have a lot of new segments. We chat about Lost, Bill Murray movies, our favorite shitty television shows and more.

We chat about LOST, ghosts and who'll win the Puppy Bowl. GI JOE could be fucking awesome in a wierd way. We have our first commentary on our own podcast when a segment goes totally wrong. Resident Evil 5 sucks and we have good vibrations.

We start out heavy and then make up over LOST. We talk out of our ass for awhile and learn that CJ hates magic. Then we end up chatting about David Lee Roth, My Bloody Valentine 3-D, F.E.A.R. 2 and Skate 2. Prepare for the first ever PodCaust Mad Libs!

We discuss the movies we're looking forward to probably not seeing in 2009. CJ hates Pixar but enjoys Kung Fu Panda. Listen as Rob rubs habenero pepper juice into his eyes and then laugh at him.

It's one rambling episode. Freddy, Meth, Scott Baio and more. We are pretty much gone on this episode. It was fun and we regret nothing!

And we're back! We hope you had a good 2008 and we ring in the new year with NewsRadio, Fable 2 and the Sega CD. The new Resident Evil movie sucks and we discuss why all CG videogame movies are horrible. And it's all Japan's fault.

We made it to episode 50! Ceej has a hard on for Sliders, we talk about the obscene amounts of documentaries we have seen lately, Rob gets cable and makes fun of crackheads, and the FT13 remake looks awesome. Also, Rob details the worst thing he has ever seen while his cat almost dies.

We hope you all had a great Turkey Day! We filled our bellies with loads of starch and Rob rocked out with his little siblings and became George Lucas. CJ wants to join the cast of Sliders, we discuss Confessions of a Superhero and Naruto pisses Rob off. We chat about how lazy we are and the awesomeness of old timey gyms.

The NXE is here! Rob's background is fucking obscene. A baby was almost born during a Left 4 Dead playsession and Rob was going to puke on it. There has got to be a good game about Shadowrun one of these days. Don't drink the ovaltine and watch out for the AIDS PIGS!

CHANGE! WOO! Re-Animator is awesome, Rest Stop fucking sucks, and Oldboy shouldn't be remade. Rob punches his erection into submission, Fallout 3 sucks us in and Gears 2 is pretty awesome. Has Kevin Smith made a new hit? Keenan Thompson has a fan and we think we should have our own reality show. A pretty random episode.

Have a spooktacular Halloween and vote! All horror talk this episode. Saw sucks, The Ring freaked us out, Zombies are better slow, and The Thing rocks. Cube > Resident Evil. Dead Space is pretty great. Haunted houses, graveyards and CJ had some great costumes. George freaks Rob out and CJ played a horror game Rob has never heard of before.

This one is for our listeners. Hit it! Rob makes his first level in LBP and loves it. Left 4 Dead is gonna be awesome. Rob prefers Ladybugs while CJ prefers Sidekicks. Fred Savage loves water sports, Purple Rain was awesome, we sport the jean jackets and the slap bracelets and Rob was dropped on his head.

It's a fast food hoedown! Taco Bell or White Castle?! Have you ever wondered what we do for a living? No? Well you're gonna hear about it. Then Fej from the boards stops over, we take a break, and we comeback lifted. Random as hell. Make it so.

CJ loves The Stuff and Rob loves Megan Fox in Blu. Rob is pretty sure he's the first person to hate Bill O'Reilly. The Office is back and great, Heroes is back and sucks even worse than usual. Warhammer sucks CJ in, Rob makes every character look just like him, and Rob has the power to talk anyone into anything.

Happy 1 Year Anniversary to us! And a big thanks to you! Contest winners announced, we chat about the horrible premier of SNL and more. Rob wants to be Speed Racer, we hope the new fall games are good, and we don't know shit about DC Universe Online. CJ describes his Guitar Hero MMORPG and he also generalizes the entire Asian race. Check out www.ronaldjenkees.com

Cj starts by hating on "The Frighteners" and we end by grossing him out. In between David Cronenberg, Tarantino and Boll movies are discussed. Would John Stamos be a good replacement in the Evil Dead flicks? Cartoons, Rob's fucked up head and much more are talked about.

We chat a bit about Curb, Fahey and Guttenberg. My brother stops by for quick segment. Cj reviews Graveyard Dolls and we answer more questions from the boards. Gotta love that Jawa porn.

My fellow PodCaustians, we will fight them on the forums! We will fight them on the Myspace! We will fight them in the email! We will fight and keep fighting for our glorious PodCaust! And in the midst of this we find time to talk about Curb your Enthusiasm, what defines being a "geek", and the awesomeness that is Point Break and Newsradio. Make sure to go and buy a Chocolate Covered Jesus. And a super long "Who is your daddy and what does he do?" segment. Also, new contest announced!!!

We're almost to our 1 year anniversary and Rob is excited. Cj wants to quit. He's too good for the PodCaust. We discuss Star Wars, the new direction that WB wants to take the DC universe, Kevin Spacey and more. The Force Unleashed is talked about and we both love it. Stay tuned for a new contest next episode!

Spacely Sprocket in the hizouse! Rob professes his hate towards Oblivion while Cj listens in horror. Braid, Geometry Wars 2, Fallout 3 and the Naruto demo are all talked about. Sliders sucks. Cartoons from our youth were awesome. Go see Pineapple Express!

Our two heroes chat for a bit about The Dark Knight since Cj finally saw it. Then we go into our ideas for the eventual 3rd entry in the series. Then there is a lot of talk about the new movies and shows from Comic Con 08. Our crack reporter in the field, Ari, is back for part 2 of his report on SDCC08. Is Cj wrong for loving Billy Corgan's work after Simease Dream? Rob is more of a fan of Gish. Lost, Heroes, Watchmen, The Wolfman and Wolverine are all talked about.

Previously on PodCaust: Where the fuck are the diamonds?! We don't talk about The Dark Knight, shoutouts to the new members, Gametap is pretty fucking cool. 1408 and Southland Tales both suck hard. Pokemon hooked us in and then let us go. Rob and Cj reminisce about what the Rock was indeed cooking. Cj finally watches Oldboy and Cj compares it to Wheels on Meals. And RIP Estelle Getty.

And Rob is back after a week drunk off his ass in Seattle. Lots of stuff happened. Overtipping, meeting men off of the internet, using farm equipment and much more. We talk about Iron Man and The Dark Knight (no plot spoilers here!). Cj promotes finally. Gaxonline for the win. A lot of E3 talk involving Fable 2, Fallout 3, Too Human and more. Make sure to check out peoplearemagnets. You can hear a song at the end of the podcast.

Cj joins the HD generation and is finally understanding the love for Arrested Development. Skippy isn't cool, even with nuts. Would Chandler make a good Cereal Killer? Rob thinks so. Comic movies are all the rage, and we want some others to be made. Mr. Belding is The Machine, Cj grosses Rob out for once and Rob is heading to Seattle! Keep the boards alive!

The hand that wrote this letter is the Wild Eyed Boy imprisoned. Oh man! Look at those cavemen go! So where were the spiders while the fly tried to break our balls? Don't lean on us man, cause you can't afford the ticket. A trickle of strangers were all that were left alive; But you, my love, were kind, but love has left you dreamless. Dizzy in the head, and I'm feeling blue, what can I do for you? Looks like you've been there too . We can be Heroes, just for one day. Don't you wonder sometimes, about sound and vision? Yeah, I'm afraid of Americans. I'm afraid of the words. I'm afraid I can't help it pathetic little fat man. During all of this we talk about the 3DO, what would happen if the Mist actually happened and some Dungeons and Dragons talk. Watch out for Cj's puppets and for Rob's pig-bolo.

Rob dreams about Rosario Dawson and Lesley naked. Cj dreams about all of us on a Cruise Ship? Cj is going to be the next Last Comic Standing! Spore kicks all sorts of ass. 3D0 was pretty shitty. PotGuy666 was crusing AOL back in the day. Cj loves Jazzy Jeff. Why aren't there any better Zombie games out? Cj has some epic ideas. Midgets can fly, Rob waits until his parents leave so he can masterbate. Cj could easily punch a snake.

Even Eric Roberts and Jack Noseworthy can't save Fear Itself. Forrest Whitaker couldn't save the Twilight Zone. We spoil the fuck out of There Will Be Blood. Also about 35 mins in, we spoil The Happening. Good Vibrations? No. Mr. Glass beatboxing? EPIC. Rob wishes he could be Solid Snake and we reminisce about MMORPG's from the past...for awhile. We answer some awesome questions from the board. I'm so high Gilbert...

Cj is afraid of Fear Itself. Diary of the Dead vs. Cloverfield: Look at the sky flowers, Rob. We dare you to go on and break a sweat. Are there hidden undertones in the cinematic masterpiece, Little Monsters? Could Cronenberg or Aronofsky make the Ninja Turtles relevant? What's better: DuckTales or Looney Tunes to the XTREME?! Mick Jagger on a hover Rascal would be the best thing ever.