The Becoming Heroes Podcast

Intermission Mark my words, there are many powerful ways to transform our lives… and here is the first. Have you ever tried to stay cross in the middle of an argument when someone makes you laugh – perhaps by pulling a face? In truth, it's really annoying when you're angry and someone interrupts that feeling by making you smile or giggle… but once you grin, they win! And so do you. The spell is broken. The cycle is too. Psychologists call this a ‘pattern interrupt' and it's a brilliant way to get yourself out of a pickle if you feel your emotions are heading in a direction you want to change. Your emotions are designed to serve you, not the other way around, and if you feel you're losing control, call for an intermission. This is surprisingly easy to do. Why? Because your brain believes your body. As soon as you change your physical position, your mental posture automatically follows. I noticed a lovely Mum last night running to catch up with her two young children, and this reminded me of one of my grandchildren who runs everywhere! There's an energy and enthusiasm to his life that is very engaging. Lambs do it too. And calves. And puppies. And kids… baby goats! Then something happens as we mature. We begin to slow down. Boring. Action plan: when you feel stuck or out of control, do something different with your posture and pace. Dare you! Here's what happened to me next… Making sure no one was looking, I decided to run back to the house - just like a kid. My capacity was poor – about 5 yards, but it was all I needed – I was grinning - out of breath but grinning. And when you're grinning, you're winning.

A BLESSING FOR YOU! May you receive this blessing as you listen to this psalm, recorded with you in mind. Psalm 20 New International Version (adapted on the recording to us the Lord's name) For the director of music. A psalm of David. May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion. May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings. May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. May we shout for joy over your victory and lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the Lord grant all your requests. Now this I know: The Lord gives victory to his anointed. He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary with the victorious power of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm. Lord, give victory to the king! Answer us when we call! Wouldn't it be lovely to appoint a Director of Music for our Church?

Would you rather? “Would you rather be chased by a horse-sized duck, or by one hundred duck-sized horses?” Thus says one of the ‘Would you rather?' challenges from the wrappers round a famous brand of ‘Take a Break' chocolate snack. I'd be curious to hear your answer – then I'll reveal my choice in the comments! “Would you rather?” reminds me of one of my favourite sayings from Wayne Dyer: “I can choose peace rather than this.” Would you rather have peace or conflict? Isn't it surprising, shocking even, that some people would genuinely prefer conflict? This is particularly so in the area of forgiveness vs unforgiveness. Many people would rather hold on to their sense of outrage, injury, and pain rather than let it go. Somewhere last week I read a story about two monks – an elderly and a younger – climbing and walking down the steep mountain sides of wild country. Their Order did not permit them to touch a woman (I know, how ridiculous!), but when their path crossed a mighty rushing stream in one of the gullies, they found a young woman in distress. She needed to cross the stream to get home but the flood-waters were flowing too fast for her to cross safely. Without a moment's hesitation, the mature monk respectfully lifted the woman onto his back, and waded across the raging waters, safely to the other side. The woman thanked him and then ran on happily her way home. The two monks went ahead on in silence for hours, but the older, wiser, monk could tell that the younger was very agitated. Eventually, the younger burst out, “Our Order does not permit us to engage with women, let alone touch one – and yet you carried one across that mountain stream!” The older, wiser monk gently observed, “Ah, that's true… and I put her down on the other side, as easily and as rapidly as I had picked her up… I notice that you are still carrying her.” There is so much we all carry in life that is so past its “Carry-Until” Date – its “Best Before” Date. These burdens are way beyond the point in time that caused the injury. In many cases, the ‘guilty' party is no longer aware of the offence. Today is a great day to ask ourselves, “Would we rather keep carrying this, or would we prefer to be liberated from this hard burden?” I finish with Wayne Dyer's inviting affirmation again, “I can choose peace, rather than this…”

Grace Will Walk Us Home by Thom M Shuman Wild Goose Publications www.ionabooks.com Used under agreed non-commercial worship conditions as stated by the publisher. Music Atmos from Big Fish Audio - used under licence.

Grace Will Walk Us Home by Thom M Shuman Wild Goose Publications www.ionabooks.com Used under agreed non-commercial worship conditions as stated by the publisher. Music Atmos from Big Fish Audio - used under licence.

A Gift for You This Christmas You may never have seen yourself as the life and soul of the party. That epithet is reserved too often for the stereotypically noisy extrovert – so popular with fabulous sitcom writers - that grabs focus from everyone they meet! If you are like me, you could be fiercely introverted! Let's open your gift and discover more. Whether you are more introverted or extroverted, that's your gift! Whether you process what's happening in a more intuitive way, or observant – using your senses, that's your gift! How you make decisions and deal with those pesky emotions – on a scale from detached logic (Mr Spock) through to deep empathy (non-biased description here) is also your gift! And how about your organisational skills? Are you more comfortable with structure, predictability, and planning? Or does that cramp your options? Wherever you are, whoever you are, that's your gift! How about your comfort and confidence with who you are? Are you assertively confident in your own skin? Or perhaps you're more turbulent and unsure of yourself – constantly trying to improve? Why are we bringing this up again – after all many of us have blogged on this in the past? We're bringing it into focus again because often you can't bring it into focus without external help. Your gifts and your talents and your unique personal strengths are as plain, “as the nose on your face.” Obvious to others, but they can see your nose. You, on the other hand, see your nose from behind! I've just tried it and gone cross-eyed like those unfortunate cinema shots where the eyes of the lovers are captured as they are about to kiss! If you can gift yourself 20 minutes, go to 16personalities.com, sign up for a free account, and take the free look in the mirror! Then you'll be able to see plainly and clearly that beautiful nose on your face. Remember to share your results! If you don't fancy that yet – know that your friends are your mirror. You could ask them what they think your strengths are. That would be bold and daring wouldn't it? Ready for the punchline? I realised this morning that you ARE the life and SOUL of the party – because your soul is defined only by one person – you – and you are totally unique. That's something to be proud of. Thus, you can be the best gift to those around you this holiday season by simply being the fullest version of you you can imagine!

Shift Happens All At Sea Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on manoeuvres in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patch fog, so the captain, remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities. Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, “Light, bearing on the starboard bow.” “Is it steady or moving astern?” the captain called out. Lookout replied, “Steady, captain,” which meant we were on a dangerous collision course with that ship. The captain then called to the signalman, “Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees.” Back came a signal, “Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.” The captain said, “Send, I'm a captain, change course 20 degrees.” “I'm a seaman second class,” came the reply. “You had better change course 20 degrees.” By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, “Send, I'm a battleship. Change course 20 degrees.” Back came the flashing light, “I'm a lighthouse.” We changed course.   The Man on the Subway “I remember a mini-paradigm shift I experienced one Sunday morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly – some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene. Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed. The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people's papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing. It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt was like unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn't control them a little more?” The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you're right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don't know what do think, and I guess they don't know who to handle it either.” Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, and because I saw differently, I thought differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn't have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man's pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely. “Your wife just died? Oh I'm so sorry! Can you tell me about it? What can I do to help?” Everything changed in an instant.”

Zoonami We all have precious moments when providence or serendipity sends us a treat. One such precious moment was last night in the freezing cold on Swanage's Victorian Pier. A crowd of us was there for the switching on the lights by Father Christmas (who arrived by boat!) Waiting in the cold, looking out over the waves under the moonlight, a small girl asked her Dad if a big wave had ever flooded the pier. Realising she meant a Tsunami, her Dad shared the word with her as he reassured her… but here's the thing: I heard him say, “Zoonami!” Of course, he didn't say that, but it was too late, my imagination was engaged! I ‘saw' a flood of animals coming into Swanage Bay on surf boards (like the seagull I'd recently seen surfing on driftwood.) (Thought to self: I probably need to change my medication!) And this brings me to today's two questions: Q. What animal would you most like to be? And Q. Why? Dog or Cat? Cat or Mouse? Dinosaur – but which one? Fish, Amphibian, Reptile, Bird, Mammal? Orangutan, Gibbon (Funky, of course), Gorilla, Chimpanzee? They say confession is good for the soul, so I'll lead by example! I want to be an Otter. Why? They are massively playful, lithe, and love fish, of course! To me, they stay young forever through their combination of frisky fun-loving living, insatiable curiosity, and healthy diet. Once you've decided on your animal or bird (and shared it with us), how could you be more like your Avatar? How could I be ‘more Otter'? Hmm, I think that Sea Swimming is beckoning again! I'm looking forward to a flood, a Zoonami, of witty, wise, and wonderful revelations of your favourite animals!

Isaiah 11 vv1 and 2 Getting to Know The Holy Spirit Jesus was clear that to see Him was to see the Father. And we could equally say, to see Him was to see the Character of The Holy Spirit. Here in Isaiah chapter 11 verses 1 and 2, we ‘see' The Holy Spirit, the very Spirit of YHWH. And the spirit of the YHWH shall rest upon Him, the Spirit of Wisdom and Understanding, the Spirit of Counsel and Might, the Spirit of Knowledge and of the Fear of the YHWH; Quoting from Charles Ellicott's excellent 19th century commentary. “And the spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him . . .” —The words throw us at once back upon the memories of the past, and forwards upon the hopes of the future. It was the “spirit of the Lord” that had made men true heroes and judges in the days of old (Judges 11:29; Judges 13:25). It was in the “spirit of the Lord” descending on Jesus of Nazareth and abiding on Him (John 1:33) that men were taught to see the token that He was the Christ of God. And in this case the spirit was to give more than the heroic daring which had characterised Jephthah and Samson. The future King was to be as a David and Solomon in one, pre-eminent, chiefly, as the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:7), in the wisdom and counsel which had been the glory of the latter. “Wisdom,” in its highest form, as implying the comprehension of the secret things of God; “Understanding,” as the sagacity which discerned the right thing to do and the right word to say (Hebrews 5:14) in all human relationships; these formed the first link in the chain of supernatural gifts. With these there was to be the “spirit of counsel and might,” the clear purpose and strength which fits a king for the right exercise of sovereignty; and lastly, as at once the crown and source of all, the “spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord,” the reverence and faith which is “the beginning of all wisdom” (Proverbs 1:7). The copious use of the vocabulary of the Book of Proverbs is interesting as showing the part which that book played in the prophet's education.

There's no fruit without there first being a seed. The man on the corner by one of Swanage's many pubs proudly wore a T-Shirt with just two words: “Bad Seed.” I think he thought it was funny. I didn't. I want to sow “Good Seed” during this season of goodwill to all. The whole World knows we need this. Specifically, I'd love, along with you, to play our part in growing the traditional seasonal fruits of hope, joy, peace, and love (or ‘charity' if you like old-fashioned version!) Reminds me of the three angels I had branded with a spelling error: Faith, Love, and Hop. I kid you not. I'd like to have been ‘Hop'. Have you tried skipping lately? It's liberating. Children do it all the time… naturally… freely. Be childlike today. How do we sow seeds of hope? Hope is always to do with the future – so anytime we can make anyone feel better about their future, we've sown seeds of hope. Paint a picture in people's imaginations of a brighter better tomorrow. How do we sow seeds of joy? I think Spike Milligan had the right idea: “Smiling is infectious, you catch it like the flu, When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too.” [The full poem can be read here: https://noc-events.co.uk/sites/conference.noc.ac.uk/files/documents/Smile%20-%20By%20Spike%20Milligan.pdf but be careful, it's contagious.] Stick a grin on your chin, and see who says, “Hey, I'm ‘in'!” How do we sow seeds of peace? That's the answer to a big Nobel prize-winning question! Maybe it's as simple as always looking for what we share in common with others? I watched, “Derry Girls,” for the first time this year. It was a profound experience, highlighting the humour and the tension of the troubles in Northern Ireland. In one particularly touching episode the way to peace was by finding that common ground. And, finally, and perhaps most importantly, how do we sow seeds of love? I think that's the easiest question to answer. Those of us who want more friendship must show ourselves to be friendly. We, very generally speaking, reap what we sow – that's the way of Nature. What does, ‘'being shown love,” mean to you? Once you can answer that, go and do that for or to someone else. Maybe, just maybe, we're all about to have a very good day indeed!

Major General (retired) Tim Cross CBE is an excellent speaker. If you get the chance to hear him, I'd recommend it. He's an advocate of the role of ethics in making tough military decisions in the moment of crisis. When we invited him to speak to our “Any Questions” group, his repeated use of ‘retired' caught my attention. Tim's reason is simply that he is retired from that role, but the role is never forgotten - even though he is no longer in active service. I was struggling with some habitually negative patterns of thinking and the thought came to me, “What if I was retired from that role?” What if I'm a habitual professional worrier (retired)? If I'm retired, I don't do that anymore. I only share this with you because it was so effective for about three days. Every time the negative thought patterns arose, I reminded myself that I was ‘retired' from that role. It made me smile, and broke the cycle. I had three days peace. Of course, I can't promise you even three days peace, but if it works for today, it's a thought worth playing with. Pick something that you don't want to continue doing, thinking, or feeling, and declare you're ‘retired' from that behaviour, thought, or feeling! We'd all be delighted to hear how it works for you too.

“There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Pursuing the kind of thinking that may make something (like the day ahead) good, my second thought is to borrow someone else's thoughts. When we see any focus from someone else's perspective, new possibilities emerge as we follow them to think down a different path. This is one of the many reasons I love the “Thought for the day” that Caroline manages to find to enrich each blog. Suddenly, we see the topic through a different lens. Here is Friday's once more. Thought for the day: "Tone is often the most important part of a conversation - and listening is so much more important than what you say." Hoda Kotb This added beautifully to Leah's blog on Content and Tone. Leah asked about whether our mood affected how we listened. In a sense, that's a tone of listening – which I'd never thought about. We have tone of voice – but maybe we can have a tone of listening too. If it's a critical tone, do we then find fault with everything said no matter the other person's intent? I suggest that you want a new insight on any topic, theme, or focus – ask Auntie Google or Sister Alexa for a quote on the thought. You can almost guarantee that some wise person has invested the output of hours of many grey cells on thrashing through the different angles. This is one of several ways I get out of being stuck in my own thoughts – borrow someone else's! Putting it to the test, I've just typed, “quote on anger” into Google. A series of images with quotes came up. The first that caught my eye was from Ralph Waldo Emerson. He said, “For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” Nice. Another way to borrow someone else's thoughts is to use your imagination and ask, “What would (name the person) think?” I wasted a few years bemoaning the thought that there were no more heroes anymore. Then, I changed my mind, and realised heroes are all around me. My Nan, my partner, and my piano teacher are three immediate examples. My Nan's heroic power was calm patience. She would have agreed with Thomas Jefferson's assertion: “When angry count to ten before you speak; if very angry, count to one hundred!” My partner's heroic power is thoughtful kindness. On an almost daily basis she is thinking of something someone else would like – looking at the opportunity empathetically through their eyes. My piano teacher's heroic power is joy. She radiates joy. And the more I get to know her, I now realise she still radiates joy when Life is not so kind. Thus, if I were to ask myself, “What would D say about this?” the answer would always have a good dollop of joy mixed with it! Who are the heroes through whose eyes you could look at your situation? What is their heroic power? What's the quote that changes your mind?

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” So says William Shakespeare via the lips of Hamlet. (Act II, Scene 2. Whether you believe this absolutely or partially, it begs the question, “What's good thinking?” Or, “What's the kind of thinking that makes us see each experience as good?” One pattern of thought that's really helped me recently is a tweak on the gratitude-attitude that we so often speak of in our blogs and comments. Specifically, it is asking myself, “What's working?” When Life is tough, it can feel like nothing's working. But this is rarely, if ever, the truth. I've got a few issues at the moment that I can't think how to fix – they are ‘not working' but they are a tiny part of a massive portion of my life that is working. Thus, I ask you directly, what's working in your Life at the moment? The answers to this question may surprise you in the little things that come to mind, almost in the same breath as the big things. As far as big things go, Penny and I really enjoy one another's company, and the little kindnesses we find to do for one another and say to one another. There are so many tokens of thoughtfulness that say, “You matter to me.” She is very good at reminding me (when I feel overwhelmed) that, “Remember, I love you.” Those four words (and their many loving and creative variants) are a foundation for a Life that can weather many storms. But what of the small matters that are working – a list I've shared here many times. It would be therapeutic for you to mirror this pattern of thinking for yourself. What small things are working well in your life? Immediately springing to mind is the first new bloom of a magnificent orchid we have. I think of the perfect blend of coffee we've found and settled upon as ‘our brand'. There's the shower in our well-lit bathroom. The goats' milk soap that is 'my favourite'. I know what wine works for me. I love my ‘commute' to work – such a beautiful journey. The autumn leaves changing day to day. My friends who thrive at our coffee morning each Friday. My radio show and the station manager who makes working there such a pleasure. Finding, “Now and Then,” by the Carpenters in a charity shop (5 CDs for a £1!) The list goes on and on making me smile. I wonder if you would do me a favour today and pause for thought. Ask your wonderful mind, “What's working for us at the moment?” and then sit back and enjoy the answers… This is good thinking

Music to My Ears I've found her… at last! “Who?” you say. “My Piano Teacher,” I say! At last, I have found the perfect piano teacher… for me. Danielle (who I shall be raving about by name in online reviews, so no secrecy necessary about her name) is the most encouraging and affirming teacher I have ever met. (And I mean the most affirming and encouraging teacher in any subject.) More than this, she meets her students where they are – musically. Then she sets a course for where they want to get to. All my previous teachers were good teachers. They taught well. But they taught their agenda. It was ‘their way' or ‘find another teacher'. That is no bad thing because all of them had a proven way that worked. I find it fascinating, though, that I didn't stick with them. Their way wasn't the best fit for my way. Danielle uses all kinds of magic to make it work. As an educator of some sort myself, I notice that she is using ‘Pacing' and ‘Leading'. By this, I mean she ‘paces' me, her student, in my map of the world first. She was very astute at uncovering exactly what I wanted to achieve. She began our classes with my desired destination in mind, and we started with patterns that would be of immediate value to me. Here's where the ‘leading' comes in. (‘Pacing' and ‘Leading'.) Once deep rapport was established, Danielle very gently nudged me towards the less exciting disciplines that were not on my agenda: note-reading, scales, and a couple of children's books to learn the basics that are essential to strengthen my own agenda! She knew best. I believe she's got the order right: listen to what the ‘student' desires and dreams of, give them 80% of the time on that, and then lead them, 20% of the time to the other material that you know is good for them. As in Piano Teaching, so in Life. Perhaps Danielle's approach would work for bigger issues. Perhaps Danielle's approach would work for bigger issues… on a global scale. There is a deeper magic, though. I have a chaotic personality. I'd love to be disciplined and tidy and diligent and organised… but I never will be – not if history is an accurate predictor of the future. Yes, people can change, but I doubt I will – not at that fundamental level. This is where Danielle wins over every other teacher I've ever met. There is not one word of criticism from her. Not a word. Only encouragement. I feel like a flower, battered by the winds of Winter, beginning to grow taller and stronger to face the hope of Spring. I'm sure her gentle approach will bear fruit. Encouragement can do that for a person. Here's the weirdly wonderful part. I now enjoy every practice session I take time for. I even find myself humming the children's tunes; oh, “Firefly,” how I love thee! May we all ‘Be More Danielle'. May we listen to what ‘they' want first and help them move towards their dreams, and only when we have rapport – deep rapport - may we then make helpful additional suggestions. And may we become more encouraging with not a word of criticism. Pace, lead, encourage. Perfect.

Our theme for World Day of Prayer was, "I Know The Plans I Have For You." The day and the service were planned and printed and prepared for well-before any knowledge of what was to happen in Ukraine. For this reason, I believe it is doubly comforting. God is in the business of restoring people who have been displaced from their homeland. More than this, He is also committed to their wellbeing during any season of displacement. The passage we had was Jeremiah 29:1-14, some of which I share in the podcast. I do not believe the displacement of the Ukrainian people is anything other than the purpose of Russia (unlike this passage that has a very different political and historical perspective). I share the words because they show God's heart is towards those who are displaced, and His purpose for them is only good - to give them a future and a hope. We, of course, have a part to play in making certain this is so.

Anne Squires is an excellent spokesperson for Fairtrade and the benefits of supporting Fairtrade suppliers. The interview was recorded today as Monday 21st February, 2021 is the beginning of "Fairtrade Fortnight." https://www.fairtrade.org.uk The interview is due to go out on Purbeck Coast FM tomorrow morning on my Breakfast Show. You can listen from anywhere you have an internet connection by following this link: https://bit.ly/listentopurbeck

Do you enjoy the benefits of having a generous heart? Those who truly love are naturally generous givers. They give without expecting to receive in return. They give without any hidden agenda. They give because they LOVE to give. They give for pleasure. This is a ministry and a gift. It is also the secret of divine prosperity until you start giving in order to receive... then it goes a little haywire! The path to prosperity is to realise that giving is like planting seeds. What you plant is not what is going to come up. In a similar way, what you plant may not be returned to you from the place or people where you planted it. Become a greater Lover by becoming a greater Giver. Great song to go with this theme: https://youtu.be/DL7-CKirWZE

I quote the Moodscope.com site: What is Moodscope? Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you'd like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge. Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it. [End Quote] I believe in Moodscope so much that I have written (for publication each Monday) a blog for many years. Of course, I am in no way pretending that I have the answers. Rather, my blog is one person's perspective on the journey, he hopes, to good mental health. Today's blog is about experimenting with giving to others first before asking for or expecting anything in return. It was recorded in difficult circumstances when storm Eunice took out our electricity. This means it is not up to the usual broadcast quality, being recorded, as it was, on mobile, battery-powered kit. Here's a good song that goes with this: https://youtu.be/DL7-CKirWZE

The 12th Day of Christmas On the 12th Day of Christmas, we celebrate the Eve of Epiphany. This means we are on the cusp of change. We end the 12 Days of Christmas and move into Epiphany. I rather like the decision of the Council of Tours in 567 (what a great date!) that there should be celebrations from Christmas Day through to Epiphany Eve – which gave birth to the 12 Days of Christmas – or what we Brits call Christmastide. This is a splendid idea since most folks don't really come back to work until about 10th January! Holding to this tradition and adapting it to the modern work pattern, we'd have 12 Days of feasting and 4 days to detox! In fact, the ancient pattern wasn't that far away from that - because there is a tradition of fasting during Advent to get ready for the feasting. Fasting, feasting, detox! From tomorrow, Epiphanytide will run until Candlemas. What is Epiphany? This is traditionally when the Three Kings came to adore the baby. Thus, the Irish tradition of adding the figures of the Three Kings to the Nativity scene on Twelfth Night ready for Epiphany. But that's tomorrow… let's talk about partying! The famous Carol, “Here we come a wassailing,” refers to this evening where the poor would often go door-to-door singing songs of good cheer and blessing each household in return for a drink from the wassail bowl – filled with hot ale, apples, spices, and mead! The noun, “wassail,” refers to the drink. Where the wassail is more cider than ale, it can be connected to a more rural request for a good cider apple crop in the year to come. To wassail, as a verb, means to party on in the lively way associated with twelfth night, and also to go from house-to-house singing carols. It should, therefore, be a jolly good evening! Another tradition you may enjoy bringing back is the King Cake – baked with a bean and a pea. I'm guessing there was a separate cake for the boys and the girls as whoever gets the piece with the pea in gets to be Queen for the night, and whoever gets the bean gets to be King… for one night. We can be heroes just for one day. Servants would become masters. This could become a fun family tradition for you and yours - if only for one night! Do we need any deep spiritual message for today and tonight? I don't think so. Epiphany, tomorrow, is deeply significant, but for tonight let's enter into the spirit of celebration, blessing, thanksgiving, and generosity… and if you don't have the energy for that, you could always watch Shakespeare's comedy, “Twelfth Night.” (But that's another story.)

Imagine being asked to leave a monastery for being too extreme. This was part of the journey taken by Simeon Stylites - a famous "Pillar Saint". Focus gets results.

Jesus was presented at the Temple, as was the Jewish tradition. This involved circumcision as the child's name was presented to God. We'd talk about a Christening nowadays, and a lot less blood and pain! In the classic movie, "Dances With Wolves," we learn of the Native American tradition of naming someone according to their most visible or memorable characteristic or characteristic behaviour. Kevin Costner's character was seen dancing with wolves, hence the name. What would your Native American Name be from your current lifestyle? What would you prefer it to be if that's not a happy answer?

"Let It Be" When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom, let it be And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me Speaking words of wisdom, let it be Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be [Songwriters: Paul Mccartney / John Lennon] This is a necessarily shortened version of the video that can be seen here: https://youtu.be/qaPxbFurxKk In the video, I lose it... touched by the loss of my own Mum. The space 'works' on the video because you can see and thus understand my grieving, but not necessarily on the audio. I wonder if the Reformation was a rejection of Motherhood? It's an interesting thought given the venom against Mary. What would have happened if Sigmund Freud had access to Martin Luther? Imagine Luther on the couch and Ziggy saying, "Tell me about your Mother..." In this very emotional recording, captured last Christmas, I realise (watching the video again with some distance) that my own loss of my Mum is impacting what I share. Mum died in 2019, and the wounds are still raw. However, this is the point of the Podcast and the Vlog - we all need a Mother figure. [Pauline reference is 1 Corinthians 4:15 "For though you have ten thousand tutors in Christ, you don't have many fathers. For in Christ Jesus, I became your father through the Good News."] Enjoy then, a fresh, if emotional, appreciation of Mary and Motherhood on this, the 8th Day of Christmas. Oh, and also enjoy the shout outs to two other great Mother figures: Guan Yin and... Moominmamma, with her handbag full of wonders and compforts! Not content with bringing focus back to Mother Mary, here's a bit of Eastern Philosophy! https://youtu.be/5yZ8a_zAEl0 - it includes Guan Yin.

I sincerely believe this is the year to Choose Your Tribe – and to choose wisely. I guess that means also it's the year to change your tribe. Your tribe may begin with a local association, for example, “Dorset.” I'm a huge fan of Dorset, which I've called my ‘home' since the turn of the Century. This is why I think sites like designedindorest.co.uk are important as hubs for local arts and crafts and trades – and our identity as Dorset People, Dorset Folk. Your tribe may be centred on a product. Think Harley Davidson – more than a mere motorcycle. I'm always tickled at people who are passionate about Landrovers. I had a Freelander (if that counts) and it was the worst car ever! Clearly, this goes beyond the reliability of the product to a place in fans' minds that accepts that the product says something about them. It gives them a group identity, a tribal identity. Some of the most powerful tribes focus on a belief system which is then expressed in choices in music, clothing, rituals. I was delighted to bump into a bunch of Steampunks in Dorchester. I hope they are taking over! The dress code set them apart even before we spoke. How about you? What tribes do you feel a part of? What tribes would you like to feel a part of? And this is an essential part of deciding which tribes to leave. If you're not feeling missed by those tribes, if you're not feeling valued by those tribes – leave! Today, Penelope and I were chatting about the Jehovah Witnesses. There's a powerful tribe if ever I've seen one. What's the attraction? I think the attraction is the tribe itself – and the strong sense of belonging – and the strong sense of identity. They have a set of beliefs that are matched by a congruent and consistent set of actions and activities. “People like us, do this…” And, most importantly, if you were ever ill or absent, I am certain you would know you were ‘missed' and that you were cherished. Belonging is a powerful sense. Belonging is a powerful state of being. Belonging leads to a sense and state of wellness. My prayer and hope for you and for me in this coming year is that we always make people feel missed when they pull away for any reason. That we make them feel great. And that we commit to encouraging others on a daily basis. One of my favourite verses will take us back to the metaphor of Saint Sylvester's Dragon. In the book of Hebrews it says, “…exhort one another day by day, so long as it is called “today”, lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” (You can find that in chapter three of the book of Hebrews, verse 13.) The Greek word for ‘exhort' is amazing. It's the word very similar to the one used of the Holy Spirit as the One called alongside to help. The Comforter. The Helper. The Encourager. The Advocate. The One you can call upon. Isn't this the best concept for friendship? “Hey, you can call upon me…” Our mission is to be just like God! To be the Encourager, the Helper, the one called alongside to support, the one you can rely upon, your advocate, your fan, your ambassador. But what about the dragon? Dragons (somewhat sadly) are associated with evil in the Bible… as, indeed, is “sin”. The idea in this vital verse is that daily encouragement is good medicine. Daily encouragement can protect you and I from the hardening of heart (and thus emotions such as compassion) that comes from “deceitfulness of sin.” If we are discouraged, it too easy to slip into a really dark place. We need to focus on what we really want. Finding a tribe that encourages one another of a daily basis can protect us from the hard cynicism that leads to a bitter spirit. I wish you joy this coming year, a tribe you can thrive in, a tribe that wants you, a tribe that misses you when you're not there, and I wish you encouragement on a daily basis – day by day. Joyful New Year! With love from God's Goth.

The 6th Day of Christmas Saint Egwin (don't think St Eggwhisk). Absolutely committed to supporting widows and orphans. He was very strict – promoting Christian marriage, and clerical celibacy – which made him less than popular with many! He was dispatched to Rome to seek vindication from the Pope. Miracles happened en route that led to his later recognition as a saint. The miracles are mentioned in the recording so I won't expand here. My point – a man of principle whose actions matched his beliefs. He committed to caring for those that God places as a priority too. A man who left a powerful legacy since he went on to found the Abbey at Evesham. I learned a new word too: “Obloquy,” which means, “strong public condemnation.” The United Nations have identified 17 Sustainable Development Goals. To take practical action on this, I have been a member for several years of, “Buy One; Give One.” The idea is simple, and the execution is exquisite. Every time I sell a product or service, I pay it forward via a project that reflects one of the goals of the 17 SDGs of the UN. As you ‘buy one' from me, I ‘give one' – acknowledging gratefully that you have enabled this gift. I am very concerned about the loss of direct educational experience that has hit our Nations for over two years now. Whilst I most certainly mean school students, I include anyone of any age who has a love of learning. In response, I am seeking to resurrect the programmes that were at the heart of my happiest times with Buzan Centres. Buzan Centres were the brainchild of the late Tony Buzan (Creator of Mind Mapping) and the birthchild of the very present Vanda North, who set up Buzan Centres Internationally. We used to run family study weekends together where students of all ages could come and experience the joy of seeing their speed-reading skills increase, their memory boosted, and their ability to organise their thoughts revolutionised. This recording was captured last Christmas, and in it I made a promise that I haven't yet kept – to begin those programmes again. Now you can hold me to that promise. And for every course place that I sell, or gracious gift to support our work that we receive (so we can provide free training too), we will honour Saint Egwin's spirit by paying a portion forward towards fulfilling the 17 Sustainable Development Goals of the United Nations, via the wonderful B1G1.com Come, let us learn together, and make a difference together, forever. If you fancy supporting my work (and great intentions) you can give here: https://bit.ly/InvestStudySkills If you invest, don't be a stranger – there are a 1000 ways I can say, “Thank You!” and add value to your life. Join the tribes I belong to and feel amazing about the contribution you make.

"SPEAK TRUTH TO POWER"

What can we learn from the massacre of the innocents? Recorded last Christmas as a video (hence the days being 'wrong'). We can fight against evil, including Covid - and what it has stolen from our own innocents - our children.

What do you think is the biggest living organism ever? If you think a Sequoia, you're pretty close. Listen to this podcast to discover one of the greatest works of nature. Lex 'Starflake' McKee goes deeper into what we can learn from the greatest organism on Earth.

The power of words has been experienced by all of us. When someone genuinely says, "Thank you!" there's a feeling attached to those words. When someone says, "I believe in you," there is empowering energy attached to their faith. And when someone says, "I love you," your life can be transformed. The Apostle of Love, Saint John, is our Festival Saint for 27th December. In this very short message, we honour the spirit of every beginning: "In the beginning was the Word..."

Calling all the heroic heretics on this, the Feast of Stephen. Drawing more on Seth Godin than on Acts 6 and 7 (which you can read), we explore how our time needs people who can no longer tolerate the status quo. People who will stand up and be counted. People who will lead their tribe.

If you need backing tracks for your congregation, I'm your Mission Enabler. Email me at lex@swanage-urc.co.uk

If you want to laugh, laugh along with me. A lovely friend, who is VERY naughty, sent me a story. We collapsed laughing very soon into reading the story for the first time, so I decided to stop reading and get the recorder going. I'm glad we did! The story is too rude to share but the laughter is free for you to enjoy.

Becoming a H+E+R=O “Mind The Gap,” is one of my favourite phrases in the UK's transport system. It is a set of three words designed to keep you and me safe and to help us avoid danger. However, in neuroscience and positive psychology, it offers us a different kind of hope. Instead of safety, it opens the doorway to freedom and excellence. Every neuron connects to other neurons by managing the gap between them. In the space between neurons, magic happens. When we learn to ‘Mind The Gap' – to pause long enough to let new neural pathways ‘fire' - we give ourselves time to transform our natural knee-jerk reactions into considered responses worthy of an esteemed sage! My beloved Nan had cracked this. She said, “All you need to do, Dear, is count to ten!” Hi, my name is ‘Lex McKee' and I'm someone who unfashionably believes in Divine Health, Divine Wealth, and Divine Wellbeing. This means that I believe that • God wants you well and living in radiant health • God wants you rich and living in abundant wealth, and • God wants you to experience a profound inner peace – a sense of Divine Wellbeing that empowers you to pass through the waters of any trial unscathed, and to emerge even stronger. Why is this ‘unfashionable'? Many Religious people believe that God uses adversity to teach humans a lesson. They are uncertain whether or not it is God's perfect will for them to be sick or healthy, poor or rich, troubled or at peace, in lack or enjoying abundance. This is because most humans cannot handle wealth, and when they are healthy and everything is rosy, they forget about God – they don't need Him. In fact, the Western Church really doesn't need God. If they get sick, they go to the Doctor. If they are poor, they borrow more, and if they are depressed, they go to BIG Pharma. Let's remember that pharmaceutical companies are not interested in cures, they are interested in customers… for life! So, what I believe is a threat to the status quo. To many, I am a heretic. But I think you may be a heretic too. If you agree that a human father who gives his children cancer to teach them something belongs behind bars, you and I are on the same page. God is the God of Light, the God of Love, and even the God of Laughter. He doesn't make His children poor to teach them anything either. And He explicitly blesses us with peace. Through Jesus, He says, “My peace I give to you,” and that this is a, “peace that passes understanding.” He offers us rest and comfort by taking His yoke upon us and learning from Him. This is preceded with an invitation, “Come to me ALL you who are weary and burdened, and I WILL give you peace.” Today, I want to share how you can become a HERO and thus take control of your emotional responses and the outcomes they lead to. You see, the way we feel most often leads, via a knee-jerk reaction to the results we get. I don't want to be a jerk, not even a knee-jerk. I also don't want to be my own worst enemy. Here's what normally happens: Event + Reaction = Outcome Something happens, you feel a certain way about this, you react on autopilot, and you get a result! Let me let you into a little secret that you've already experienced – it's rarely a good result! HEROes are different. You begin with Humility – acknowledging you don't know everything and that you're still learning, and that you don't always have to be right, and that you're a work in progress. Then the Events come flooding in. Humility + Event At this point, you'd normally have a set of default reactions to draw upon so that you don't have to think about it too much. This was a great system in the days when hesitation meant you were going to be lunch for a predator! You seriously literally didn't have time to think (i.e., Respond), no, you needed to React to survive, to live! In the West, nowadays, not many Sabre-Toothed Tigers prowl the streets. We need a better pattern. There's more! Message me! Lex_McKee@me.com

The amazing story of Dave Ashley as he has moved from Fighter-Pilot to being Ace Athlete.

Full blog here: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/guidelines-lex-mckee/

The story is adapted from, "101 Healing Stories for Kids and Teens - Using Metaphors in Therapy," by George W Burns (assumedly NOT the comedian!) Best to say the story remains their copyright! I'd recommend the book IF you've got a very good magnifying glass to read the small print. Stories have power to change our minds. In this story, a bad-tempered, hungry, and lonely Tyrannosaurus Rex learns how being wrapped up in his own problems is causing much sorrow to others... There is a happy ending, I promise!

Silent Seeds When this is published, I will have just had my first day in full-time employment for decades. It will be a massive relief to close the door on activities that haven't borne fruit – years of work with nothing to show for it. …or is there nothing to show for it? I thought this new chapter would provide an elegant way to say, “No,” to the further investment of my time in daily video production. On the Friday before starting the new job, I fulfilled a promise to myself to create 90 videos, less than a minute long each. These videos have a single focus: an inspirational quote from one of the thinking giants of history. They've taken a lot of time and effort to produce – with no clear benefit to me other than proving to myself I can keep a promise. No, the benefit was focused on sharing value with the people who are kind enough to look at my Social Media feeds (LinkedIn and YouTube in this case). I think Caroline's tireless efforts at Moodscope are similar. Caroline is wonderful at finding a quote to go with each blog, and I don't perceive any financial benefit in this activity for Caroline. That's not what is motivating the generous investment of her time. Thus, what I am about to say to myself, I say to Caroline, and I say to you: we don't know the extent of the good we do. Our seeds are, for the most part, ‘silent seeds'. I say, “for the most part,” because as soon as I'd decided to save time and stop producing daily inspirational posts, some of my seeds started talking back! I believe it is five people who have said to me this week how helpful they find the brief posts. One even said it had inspired him to have a go at video himself. Now I feel like I can't stop sharing what inspires me. Do I have to do it daily? I think I do. I believe in ‘Daily Bread' – fresh inspiration each and every day. So does Caroline. Here's an idea or two. Don't be a silent seed. If you've benefited from Moodscope – explicitly tell Caroline – even if you've told her before. Let her know that her daily investment is paying off in your life. Secondly, have faith in your own silent seeds. Every bit of good you do – every kind word, every kind deed, every kind look – is a viable seed. You will most certainly never know the full extent of the good you've done but I can assure you that your kindness is bearing fruit. We scatter seed on the ground…“Night and day, whether she|he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though she|he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain – first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head…” You can trust your seeds – every seed of kindness. Your job is not to check in on the seed. Your job is to have faith that, no matter how ‘silent' your seeds are, they are growing. Don't quit.

Diving for Pearls We go through Life paddling, swimming, or diving. I awoke today realising I would benefit from reading some of a friend's work on Motivation. I didn't want to read a whole book – diving deep into this important topic. Am I lazy? It would've been more convenient for me to swim a bit in the content – perhaps watching some videos instead. Less time, less effort but also less reward. I'm the same about many matters in Life… even those skills and areas I really care about. Take guitar, for example, I've been playing for 50 years! In truth, I've been swimming for 50 years – using the same skills over and over for 45 years in all likelihood. I'm OK, but I could be so much better. I do enough to (usually) get by and enjoy it. Software is the same – I'll learn enough to get the result I want, but rarely will I dive deeper. Here's the real shocker: I'm a swimmer when it comes to mental wellbeing. I started to dive into a course with Kings College but it wasn't water I enjoyed diving in. I've got a friend called Oli who is a Diver. I think you know him! He dives for pearls. When we discuss mental wellbeing here in this blog, it is clear that he has dived deep into what makes us tick and continues to dive. It's like it's his vocation – his mission, his passion. And, like many other divers in this community, he brings up pearls from the deep to show and tell. Oh, and he's a pretty ace guitarist. Do I want to, “Be More Oli,”? Nope… I like Oli like he is, but I don't want to be him. I want to be more me… with added twist of diligence for zest. I want to choose one or, at the most, two areas to go diving into. Am I lazy? I think I have been. So now the choice is to get less lazy and do the work necessary to go diving… but where? The answer is almost irrelevant because this blog was secretly about you – secretly until now, that is! You can't go diving all the time, so I'm certain you spend your life paddling, swimming, and occasionally diving. I'd like to know two things: where have you dived in the past (= in which areas are you an expert), and more exciting, where would you like to go diving in future? What would you like to explore in depth? Not necessarily for fame, fortune, or a career but because it would delight your soul to discover pearls in that place? It's OK to paddle and swim along most of the River of Life, but when that River reaches the Ocean, and you want the deeper rewards, you've got to dive for pearls.

This too shall… What leapt to mind as your brain sought to finish that phrase? “This too shall…” For most of us, it would be “This too shall pass.” That's a great thought, and it can really help build resilience in the moment. But it's not what I've got in mind today though… and it's not how I want to live my life. It feels like, “this too shall pass,” means we are waiting… waiting for something better to come along to relieve us of the current distress or discomfort. I'd like to learn how to thrive in the here and now, not wait for the now and then. Let's add to the ‘This Too' sayings. Here's my additional ‘This Too' saying, “This too shall serve me.” One of my sons has had a tough, few years. I remember his confusion and pain as, having been ‘let go' from one position, (illegally, I might add), he could not find acceptance from another employer for over a year. The torment dragged on and on, but in the meantime, he pursued his passion for learning through academic studies. Eventually he found employment, then Covid hit. The resulting furlough gave him more time for his passion – paid time for his passion - more study. Then he was ‘let go' again. Now, he's doing a job that fits his strengths – that gives him purpose - and he's engaging in even more study. The difficult time did pass but, on reflection, it also served him well. Add in the bonus of quality time with his young, growing family and you have to wonder whether it was a ‘bad' time after all. If he'd had the luxury of seeing his times of trial from his current position of prosperity, he would have breathed a sigh of relief… and would have been able to say with confidence, “This too shall pass.” But he would also have been able to say, “This too shall serve me.” OK, let's dispense with the naivety. Sometimes Life utterly crushes us and we don't come out better on the ‘other side' of the challenges. I'm not talking about those times. I'm talking about the majority of times where we do come through the hassle and we can look back with a perspective enriched by more information, more experience, and, crucially, an awareness of how we've used the difficult time to our advantage – we've made it serve us. Today's message is no more than this: to boldly assert in the face of difficult circumstances, “This, too, shall serve me.” When we do this, we leave space for a shift in perception. Our awareness will begin to lock on to any evidence that the setback or suffering could serve us in the longer term. We make it work for us. What I'd love to know is about the times in your own life when a setback turned into a strength – even a springboard or a stepping stone, when a stumbling block became a blessing. Where you, too, could say… “This, too, has served me.” VIDEO: There's an informal video of this message, at a fascinating location, here: https://youtu.be/ZQxYlvU4NCM

Don't Feed the Wolf - Overcoming the Addiction to Anxiety I realised the other week that I seem to be addicted to anxiety. If there is nothing to worry about, I worry about there being nothing to worry about, or I invent things to worry about. Being addicted to a behaviour is less easy to recognise than substance abuse… and yet, here I am being abused by a repeated pattern of thinking. A tiny amount of research reveals that there is a vast range of addictions on offer. You and I can even become addicted to exercise… allegedly! I wondered if there was anything to learn from the 12 Steps of the Alcoholics Anonymous model. It was surprisingly spiritual, which may make it unsuitable for Moodscope. However, it is clear that acknowledging the problem and having peer support are really important elements – as is the regularity of the meetings. These strike me as elements already existing in the Moodscope Model (if there is one we can formalise.) We all acknowledge an issue, we have peer support via the buddies, blogs, and comments, and we can get support on a daily basis. What fascinates me is the ‘ecology' of any addiction. There is a positive gain that needs to remain even if the path to it is changed. I worry because it keeps me safe and makes sense of an often confusing and uncertain world. If I ask myself, “What would I rather have?” the answer is, “Peace of mind, and confidence in the future.” The quest thus becomes finding a more delightful path to peace of mind and future confidence (or hope!) I've called out the problem and decided to change. I have a new goal – to seek peace and hope. I've got you here to support – and I occasionally get professional help. Is there anything else that can be done? I think there is: don't feed the wolf. I remembered that wonderful story of the Indian brave who was struggling with behaviour too. He asked his grandfather how he coped. His grandfather confessed he still had trouble with the very same behaviours. Grandfather said there were two wolves fighting inside him – one seeking a better set of behaviours and the other hell-bent on self-destruction. “Which one is winning?” the young Brave asked. “The one I feed the most,” answered his grandfather. I hope this is helping others too. For me, I need to cut down on any stimulus – including human company - that feeds the anxiety. Then, with your support, maybe peace will prevail. MOODSCOPE If you want help overcoming anxiety, look at www.moodscope.com - a non-judgmental supportive community for those facing up to depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety.

Never underestimate the power you have to make someone's day. A simple, selfless act of kindness can energise their resilience so that they can better face any challenges the day presents. Credits... Music Sunny Days Jimmy Gunnarsson - used under licence from Storyblocks.com Image Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay - used with permission

Focus on Business The longest day in 2021, for us in the Northern Hemisphere, is the 21st June. In Hampshire and Dorset, we're fortunate to never be far away from farmland. Farmers understand well the importance of the Summer Solstice – the longest day. The 21st of June gives them the most light to see by in order to nurture their already developing crops. Farmers understand “The Law of Harvest” and can teach us much about marketing our businesses. Businesses are affected by “The Law of Harvest” just as much as our agriculture is. In marketing, for example, there's a time to sow, a time to grow, and a time to reap. It's a long game – well symbolised by the longest day – halfway through the Astronomical Year. Of course, the Law of Harvest is not so obvious in business. We often expect quick wins in a way that any farmer would laugh at. What would you think of a Farmer who sowed yesterday and expected a harvest today? Advertise once and you may expect new customer enquiries to come flooding in – instant fruit (or return on investment) from the seed you've sown. It can happen! We have some precedent that drives us to accept this illusion. For example, many students will cram before an exam – and get results! They may have bunked off all term and then suddenly got serious just before some key exam or assessment. The problem is that cramming can work… allegedly. The issue is that they get their certificate but miss out on their education. The results don't last. The results aren't sustainable. Instead, the wise student realises that their education is a long-game. Each idea, like a seed, must be nurtured by their own thinking before it can truly bear fruit in their experience. Sustainable results require sustained effort. In a similar way, effective marketing takes place over four seasons. It always has a Spring Season where the message is ‘sown' in the marketplace for the first time. Summer Season follows up on the initial success of the seed springing up through the soil. The wise Marketing businessperson will give attention to the seed, nurturing it – nurturing those relationships - to grow strong and tall above the competition. Then, after six months, the Autumn begins, bringing us the Season of Mellow Fruitfulness. And Winter, which may seem quiet, is nevertheless spent in preparation for the next Spring. Sow your brand-seeds through print and social media, then be like the Farmer and give those seeds strong support until the fruit begins to be harvested. Then keep up your efforts so that new seeds in fresh soil will give you harvest after harvest after harvest. Print, promote, rinse, and repeat! This is The Law of The Harvest.

Hi, I'm Lex – Lex McKee – who writes one half of the “Focus on Wellness” column for Focus Magazines and the Monday Moodscope blog for Moodscope. Today's topic is: I Think Therefore I Feel I wonder if René Descartes would be gracious enough for me to adapt his famous, “I think, therefore I am”? His was a way to prove our existence. Mine is a way to improve our experience of our existence. Why? Because our thinking often drives the way we feel. I was having a complete hissy-fit the other day, a bad mood that grew progressively worse. “Could it be,” I thought to myself, “that moods are purely chemical?” If so, my thinking was agitating those chemicals! A little Internet surfing seemed to confirm that every emotion is a complex cocktail of chemicals rushing through the bloodstream. How are these chemicals triggered? They are triggered by our reaction or our response to a stimulus. If something makes us jump, the “fear” emotional reaction is necessarily fast – leaving no time to think before the cocktail is released. However, in most circumstances, we have time to think, we have time to respond, and thus have time to change how we feel. Feeling cross was a real downer, something I want to learn to influence even if I can't quite control it. It was therefore interesting to be reminded of the contribution Edward de Bono has made to improving our thinking. Edward died on the 9th June – a great loss to the world of thinking. One of Edward's most famous techniques is “Six Thinking Hats.” Playing on the idea of, “Putting on our Thinking Cap,” de Bono suggested we would have a better experience of life if we learned “Parallel Thinking” – to think in multiple ways. He asked us to put on one Thinking Hat at a time. We put on the White Hat to think about facts and to use our powers of logic. The Black Hat is the one to wear when thinking about what could go wrong – the worst-case scenario. To balance this with optimism – the best-case scenario - he said to wear the Yellow Hat. To create options, alternatives, and possibilities, we put on the Green Hat. The Blue Hat is the management hat, put on to lead and organise the thinking process. But by far my favourite is the Red Hat which allows us to express our emotions without needing any argument to justify them. Returning to my hissy-fit, a wise friend would let me keep the Red Hat on for a few minutes while I ranted and vented! They could then ask me to put on the Black Hat to exaggerate the worst-case scenario (i.e. “The day was ruined, I wouldn't get any work done!”) Rant and gloom and doom over, I could put on the White Hat to calmly look at the facts. After this, the Yellow Hat would help me think through the best-case, and the Green Hat would facilitate the generation of positive options to improve the day. Finally, the Blue Hat would help me organise what to do next. Frankly, it's cute even if over-complex for most situations, but it made me think… …and the more I thought about it, the calmer I became. Surprise, surprise – I ended up having a pretty good day. I think, therefore I feel. Music Credit: Documentary Ambient Background Danail Draganov Used under licence from Storyblocks.com Image Credit: Photo Mix from Pixabay - used with permission

For Today Yesterday, I ‘sprung' Dad from 8 days and nights in a hospital stroke ward. His care was exemplary but accompanied with the necessary indignities of hospital life. He'd had a mini-stroke, an embolic shower – as they call it, and his recovery was rapid - thankfully. However, it's a massive warning for us all, and the future will be filled with blood-thinners and eight other pills, potions, and inhalers that will keep his heart rate more stable and his brain stroke free. That nicely sets the scene for what came next: gratitude for today. When we picked Dad up, we asked him what he wanted. He was crystal clear: a proper cup-of-tea, a two-hour shower, a decent night's sleep, and… crispy prawns in sweet chilli sauce! The latter one was the only challenge. Marks and Spencer's Food Hall was an immediate ‘fail' and it looked like Waitrose was going to get nul points too! Gratitude flowed when I finally found the desired dish (as I'd wondered to myself whether I could face Sainsbury too if Waitrose joined the UK in that famous dreaded Eurovision phrase.) This is an emotional time for the family. We naturally reflect and ask ourselves, “What is truly important?” For Dad, what is appreciated is quite ‘small' on the grand scale of things. He'd forgotten to mention good music. He lives his life wrapped in the most magnificent classical music cocoon. After a season with Haydn, Beethoven, and, of course, Mozart, he emerges reborn. This has been a very long build up to a very simple call to thought. What small things are important to you? 8 days of deprivation was enough for Dad to become clear on the niceties of life that make each day sing. For me, it's the shower, the posh coffee, privacy, quiet, creative freedom, wine, Icelandic wheat beer, olives, good cheese, time freedom… nothing here to make anyone say, “Wow, what a guy!” It is mainly simple stuff that I've come to cherish. What would be on your list? In addition, two BIG shifts have happened for us. The first BIG thing for me was an instant hike in my gratitude levels. EVERY cup of coffee using my favourite brand (with cream) is now a celebration. EACH moment in the shower – with my Goats' Milk Soap – a cause for rejoicing. EVERY sip of my favourite beer or wine. EVERY moment of quiet or privacy… The second ENORMOUS thing was a re-assessment of time. Mum's gone. Dad nearly went. We've got friends and family facing life-limiting illnesses and there seems to be loss all around us. The long-term plans are diminishing in importance. In their place, there is a bright and joyful focus on commitment to and gratitude for today. Image credit: Alexas Fotos on Pixabay.com Music credits: Storyblocks.com - "Wistful Thinking," by Lance Conrad. And "Soft Emotional Piano Quiet Storm," by unlisted artist.

What will you do today that your future self will thank you for? One action is certain: the decisions you make. What you decide today will lighten or darken your future. We've all make poor choices from time to time but those choices were based upon incomplete knowledge. Hindsight is the luxury of those who possess more knowledge after the event. We may not have foreknowledge of the future, but by adjusting the frames we use for foresight, we can improve our decision making and thus build a better, brighter, bolder, bigger future. The video related to this topic is here: https://youtu.be/Ic1OwF6UOCw Song credit. Music is used under licence from Storyblocks.com "Summer Tropical Pop," by Kamil Guszczynski

Enjoy this inspirational podcast intended to help you and I break out of a bad mood and access, instead, a positive state of feeling good! Links to my two bouncy songs: Links: Justin: https://youtu.be/ru0K8uYEZWw John: https://youtu.be/iEEuG5XML-A Image Credit: Image by Digital Photo and Design DigiPD.com Pixabay

https://www.moodscope.com/welcome is a powerfully supportive and affirming resource for those dealing with the challenges of good mental health. I have take the 20 Moodscope Cards and their descriptors and created Mental-Health-Friendly Affirmations. Lowering my voice, here are those affirmations recorded to provoke the ASMR effect. This gentle recording is my second iteration of experimenting with seeking the ASMR effect. I hope you like it. Best said: this is deeply relaxing. Please don't listen to it while your attention is required on anything else. This is especially so of driving or operating machinery.

Adults Only There's a story or three to this week that I'd love to share with you. For example, how did I inadvertently get my first 18+ rating on YouTube? How did I discover the wealth of wisdom in a new friendship? And how did ‘coincidence' suggest I begin working on ASMR Affirmations for Moodscope? Let's begin with a new mantra that I learned from deepening a friendship: “What will I do today that my Future-Self will thank me for?” This arose from a series of serendipitous events. I've not been having a proper day off – clear of technology. By last Wednesday, my innermost being had had enough. I was invited to go for a walk near Worth Matravers – my home for many years. With road works outside the house, I figured my chances of getting any voice over work recorded were slim… so I went for a walk 3x longer than my goal, with ups and downs that covered the equivalent of 27 floors! The walk was exhausting and exhilarating! Breathless for much of it, I made the decision to listen to author Lee Groombridge, who has written an excellent short book on resilience. “What will I do today that my Future-Self will thank me for?” comes from Lee. My Future-Self thanked me for the walk and the deeper friendship… though my physical self wasn't too happy with me for the following 48 hours! A week earlier, I had recorded the waves by Boscombe Pier using slow motion video. This post had received positive responses from some viewers, and one mentioned the hunger on YouTube for ASMR. This is a form of quiet speaking and other sounds that can provoke a deeply pleasant response. Inspired, I rewrote the Moodscope statements as affirmations and whispered them over some new footage I had captured of clouds passing overhead – the Cloud Whisperer or Wellbeing Whisperer. I didn't like it. Penelope confirmed my worst fears when she said the whispering sounded creepy! This morning I've re-recorded it using quiet speaking rather than whispering. You can see the new video here… https://youtu.be/Jhqa6jisxUU Inspired once more to take time out, Penelope and I went to Sculpture by the Lakes near Dorchester. This is a mixture of indoor and outdoor sculpture set in acres of lakeside gardens. It features many works by Simon Gudgeon as well as work from 30 of the UK's most celebrated sculptors. The works are magnificent. And this is how I got my first 18+ rating on YouTube. Let me say that the art is occasionally of an adult nature. In fact, no children or dogs are allowed into the gardens. Like Adam and Eve, some of the works don't even need clothing! YouTube thought my video unsuitable for young eyes, and thus I learn another lesson. However, my Future-Self thanks me for going there and for capturing the memories on film! The spooky thing is that a friend bumped into us there and suggested I did… ASMR recordings! When the ‘Universe' works so serendipitously, it's good to listen… Here's a video version of this Podcast: https://youtu.be/4gdVHA_gjeI

Primarily written for my Christian listeners, this is an inspirational and spiritual podcast on being bold about applying your talents to being successful. British people are famous for not talking about their talents because, culturally, it is regarded as 'boasting'. God has no such reticence! You are meant to prosper, to success, to be fruitful and multiply. In fact, if you don't, you may well be in for a shock!

Explore with me how "Parts Integration" - a technique used by therapists and others who understand Neuro-Linguistic Programming - can help you move from internal conflict (and thus unhappiness) through to feeling more whole. Working with my therapist, Kim Searle, I have experienced many breakthroughs. This podcast shares how my Inner Critic has been transformed into my new hero: TruthSayer - the LieSlayer!

Novelty “Novelty,” is a wonderful word with an even more wonderful gift in store for us. It's based on the Old French, “novelete,” meaning, “innovation,” and, “newness,” and, “new fashion.” It also means something unusual or new… and it means good news for mental wellbeing. Why? Because our prefrontal cortex - in that wrinkly bit of the brain - craves novelty. I'm a bit torn with this blog in that there are way more serious problems going on in the world at the moment, way more serious problems than… boredom. But boredom is an enemy of good mental health. Whilst it may seem like a First World Problem, it's a worldwide Human problem. Our psychological wellbeing is a bit fussy. It demands stability on the one hand AND novelty on the other! Too much novelty and we quickly feel overwhelmed. Too much boredom and our motivation dissipates, and our energy disappears. The issue for me is that I haven't felt ‘excited' for way over a year! I've been creative, I've been interested, some really nice things have happened… but there's been no excitement. Excitement is energy for me. Is it the same for you? Thinking about this, I wondered what stimulates ‘excitement' for most of us. Novelty is high on what triggers excitement for me. Then, the other night, we had an experience that made everything a lot clearer. We've got a wildlife camera that captures some of the adventures our local hedgehogs get up to in the dark. This is interesting. The other evening, I put the camera out late and disturbed one of the hedgehogs who was already eating. Popping the camera down, I withdrew enough for the hedgehog to relax and to continue with its activities. Watching the hedgehog ‘live' was exciting! Watching the hedgehogs on camera is only interesting. You had to be there to enjoy the excitement! I realise that excitement is ‘now' – in the present. It's a ‘live' experience. It's not past and it's not often future. And excitement requires ‘being there' – ideally in an engaged state participating in the events. I say it is not often future, but there is an exception – anticipation. Anticipation is an important aspect of excitement. The journey to the holiday can be exciting too. The quiet before the curtains open up on a show or concert can be electrifying and exciting. You know all this. Why am I mentioning it? I believe pursuing some excitement will do you and me the power of good over the coming weeks. I was curious about what you get excited about and was keen to stir us all up to actively pursuing what we find exciting as soon as possible. So, spill the beans! What counts as ‘exciting' in your life? When are you next expecting to enjoy that excitement? For me, it needs to be a novelty. New food. New locations. New friends. New customers. New projects. New clothes (though not the Emperor's!)