Wolfmania The Podcast

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When I Go by

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I've been agonising over whether it would be a good idea to do my Hospital Radio show in the current climate (would it be in terrible taste? Do we really need a weird fake Hospital Radio show, now that all radio is pretty much all radio is hospital radio?) Well, yes it probably would be, and no, we almost definitely don't, but you know, I've only really got the one act - and it was either this or an Instagram live concert, and nobody needs any more of that right now. Here then, is my actually-much-more-heartfelt-than-you'd-think lockdown rockdown tribute to our keyworkers and up yours to the virus. It's Episode 8 of West Midlands Hospital Radio - Smells Like Quarantine Spirit. 30 massive bangers and several days of 'hilarious' sit-down 'comedy.' Stick with it... If you like the show, please tell a friend. Or, alternatively, bang some pots and pans out of the window on Thursday evening. I'll know it's me you're thanking.... Cheers!

It's time to roll up your sleeves and head on down to West Midlands Hospital Radio, because Andrew Wolfman (me!) is giving blood a bad name. We're plunging the needle deep into an armful of red hot hits, putting the punk in arterial puncture, and the disco into…. Discoing to hurt a little bit…. Is that a good joke? (Honestly, I can’t tell any more). We’ve got a great show HONESTLY, WE HAVE. A sticky pool of pumping pop thumpers for every kind of blood type. A, B, AB… even, and I apologise for this little bit of Type O Negative…. PLUS! One genuinely good joke! Jingles! A massive rave up! A surprisingly heartfelt tribute to Discharge!

Gather up your hot towels and remember your breathing, the 'From Here to Maternity' episode of West Midlands Hospital Radio - the nation's number one surgically spirited indie rock podcast - is here. This week at St Vincent’s we're saying Mama! OOOoOOOOoOO as we bring you metal mothers, pregnant pauses, and a little bit of baby love. We’re going to have the biggest, slightly complicated Labour party since Jeremy Corbyn agreed to DJ that kid’s bar mitzvah… (Really not sure about that joke). Expect Hits! Misses! Chat! Laffs! Now incorporating West Midlands Hospital Radio Smooth!

Hey! The latest episode of West Midlands Hospital Radio is here. And it is pure sauce. This week, in spite of public demand we break out of the broom cupboard, haul down our underthings and head south for the sexual health centre. Welcome, unexpectedly early, to the season finale of my radio career. What can you expect? Well, we’ve got more forgotten songs, more massive name dropping, and more drippy, droopy utterly grotty jesus Christ I can’t un-see it sex bombs than the new Moby autobiography. There's ethereal venereal chillwave, a planned parenthood pop punk party and…. yes a little bit of Johnny B Goode. This being sexual health week, you can expect some strong language and a lot of material intended for more mature audiences… but, you know, also ‘My Nuts’ by the Fat Boys. Wait! Come back!

Back once again with the ill behaviour – It’s West Midlands Hospital Radio! The nation’s number-one medically themed indie rock radio show. Tonight’s show is one for the heads. We’re leaving affairs of the heart behind us and getting cerebral. That’s right! It’s brain week here at St Vincent’s and we let Pavlov’s dogs out with all sorts of neurological, psychological, sort of logical sounds: Pink Freud, Lisa Lobe, the sound of neuroscience. If that all sounds a bit, well, difficult, I assure you it’s not brain surgery… oh, wait… I sort of thought that this week’s episode might be a bit bumpy, but I think it’s turned out great. We have 30 absolute melon twisters for you (alright, maybe 28) plus Jokes galore! Midway Metal Madness! Behind the Music! Hot Take! Taillights Fail! Dubious accents! And a little bit of mental health chat. Parental guidance: Sufjan Stevens (of all people) gets very sweary 35 minutes into the show. Tighten it up Stevens. The rest of the episode is all beeped, but you make your own decision as to whether you want your kids listening to Quiet Riot.

The thrill-a-minute 3rd episode of West Midlands Hospital Radio, the nation’s top medically themed indie rock podcast is here. The only show that knows the quickest way to your heart is a unilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum. This week we career down to the cardio wing for 2hrs of serious heartcore. We’ve got pulsating punk jams, pumping pop songs, big beating bangers that’ll take your breath away quicker than a pulmonary embolism. We’ve got full hearts, broken hearts, bleeding hearts & the band Heart. Essentially, for 120 mins we are Heart fm. Except slightly less depressing. It’s marginal, but at least you’re not stuck in a taxi, already hungover, choking on the fug of Febreeze and the sound of Simply Red. If you’d like to get in touch, send your requests to westmidlandsband@gmail.com, visit wolfmania.org or follow us around on Instagram @andrew_wolfpack or on Twitter @andrewWM - or, you know, just shove a note under the door on your way to the canteen.

Lock up your medicine cabinets, the sensational second episode of West Midlands Hospital Radio is here! This week we dispense with the pleasantries, pump up the Valium, and pray that the drugs do work as we pick up prescription hits from all four corners of the rock and roll pharmacy. We've got more than enough high times, drug songs and mind-expanding sing-alongs to take the edge off the hurt for a couple of hours. Your host Andrew Wolfman (me!) just says yes to music from Black Sabbath, Hüsker Dü, Huey Lewis (and the News!) plus, this being drug week, there's a proper tops-off, hands-aloft mega rave. (Don't worry, we'll warn you when the tops-off mega rave starts). Also, there are some reasonably funny jokes. Parental warnings: Strong drug references throughout, plus after 43m I call Ted Nugent "a twat". At 55m the band Drug Church really let rip and at 1h 54m there is some talk of the ITV4 TV show 'Tattoo Wankers'. On the plus side, if you stick around to the very end, there is a very funny joke about a horse that kids are just going to love.

Live! From the Brian May Wing of St Vincent's Hospital - it's West Midlands Hospital Radio. 120 minutes of loosely themed, lovingly curated songs in A and E. Old songs, new songs, but, if we're being honest, mostly 1992 songs. Request resistant rock and roll radio to make you feel a bit better. Live! From the Brian May Wing of St Vincent's Hospital - it's West Midlands Hospital Radio. 120 minutes of loosely themed, lovingly curated songs in A and E. Old songs, new songs, but, if we're being honest, mostly 1992 songs. Request resistant rock and roll radio to make you feel a bit better... This week's show features all the biggest hits of hospital rock. On top of that there are approximately two good jokes and a fistful of jingles. Stick with it… your host Andrew Wolfman (West Midlands the band, Wolfmania the Podcast) gets marginally less annoying as the show goes on. Contact the show at westmidlandsband@gmail.com or @andrewWM on Twitter (or @andrew_wolfpack on Instagram). Our next episode is a pharmaceutical special (there must be some songs about drugs, right?) so get your requests and drugs in now!

If your New Year's resolution is to listen to more chat, well, you've come to the right place. Wolfman and Timpsy roar into 2K19 with a twelve-months-in-the-making two-hour spectacular New Year Hootenanny! Marvel! At their totally achievable (not-at-all over ambitious) plans for REVOLUTION WINTER! Thrill! To their unimpeachably cool choices in the end of year poll of polls. Then shake your head sadly when you realise that this is actually what they did on New Year's eve. Plus! Non-stop Pizza Party Ghost Protocol! Big Paws! Champagne Supernova! Live Show! Night of a Thousand Joolses! LadBaby gets the buisiness! Griefcase! Well-net! The Mindful Guys! Christmas Disco! MDMA sex party! Ornette Coleman! THRIVE! And your musical guests The WInter Olympics, Billy Idles and Eddie Butler! Wolfman and Timpsy donated their fee (it's £50) to the Trussell Trust Food Bank Network. Get involved here: www.trusselltrust.org

Still looking for that annoying drone that ruined your holiday? Look no further. It’s the mega-festive 2018 Christmas special edition of Wolfmania the Podcast. With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree Wolfman and Timpsy rejoice in the things that they’ve seen (none of which, disappointingly for what’s supposed to be a film podcast, appear to be films). With three big musical exclusives from West Midlands, Comfort and Joy Machine and By George, the boys are here to accompany your Christmas Day funtivities, whether that’s feeeling your presents under the tree, roasting chestnuts on an open fire or driving miles in the pouring rain to visit relatives you sort-of-despise and pray won’t talk about Brexit... Plus! Snow! Sleigh! Presents! Advanced Social Media Diagnostics! Nord! Christmas!

Check-ch-check-check-check-ch-check-it-out! It's the hip hop holiday episode of Wolfmania the Podcast sort of featuring very special guests The Beastie Boys (Squeeeeeeee!) As if that's not enough excitement, your Beastly Brothers Wolfman and Timpsy put the dissing and cussing into long-winded film discussion as they tackle the 1993 rhyming and stabbing Emilio Estevez 'classic' Judgment Night. Never in the long and and storied history of notionally film-based podcasting has an episode so artistically mirrored its subject: bumbling brosephs being dickheads at night time, half an hour longer than is strictly necessary and essentially just an excuse for a ridiculous rap-metal soundtrack... Ah yes, the soundtrack. Not only do we take you on a tour through the genre-bending delights of the ground-breaking grunge-hop Judgment Night OST, we have THREE (count 'em) EXCLUSIVE tracks not heard on the original album: Less Than Drake v Geoff Leppard, Cyprus Phil's "Sticky Green Vape Machine" and, oh yes, the frankly frightening: "Kick Him in the Dick". Whatever else you do with this episode (skip it and put that Peter Crouch one on probably) you will not want to miss "Kick Him in the Dick". (it's at 74 minutes, Cyprus Phil is at 46 minutes, you can probably 2x through the rest). Plus! Timp Bucks! Social Shout Outs! Around the Grounds! Boiler Man! Christmas Down Under! Intergalactic Child Fight! The Gig Pig! Def Leppard Christmas Jumper! Anthony the Theatre Anteater! Timpsy's World of Impressions! Brand Champions! Celebrity Treadlefoot! Rap disaster! Ladder 42 Where Are You?! Infinity War Ending! Parental warning: The song Kick Him in the Dick (at 74 minutes) features strong and repeated dick kickings. Also I failed to bleep out a bit where we call Pearl Jam a 'shit funk metal band' (about 64 minutes). Soz. ------ Follow us on Instagram and Facebook: @wolfmaniapodcast Visit the shop: www.wolfmania.org/shop Send us an email: wolfmaniapodcast@gmail.com Please rate and review!

Uncool at school and majorly moping over the girl next door, Wolfmania’s world is turned upside down when it gets bitten by some radioactive chat. Instantly imbued with a freewheeling chemistry and uncanny comic timing (our jingle sense is tingling!) but touched by tragedy, Wolfman and Timpsy learn that with great gags come even greater laffs. In an out-of-character 2h 11m of stuttering sincerity, the boys pay humble homage and trembling tribute to Marvel maestro Stan ‘The Man’ Lee, and at least one of them watches Sam Raimi’s swing-o-rilliant first Spider-Man movie all the way to the end. But that’s not all! (That’s not even nearly all.) Timpsy titillates us and dishes the dirt on the Dater’s Handbook, while Wolfman takes a swing at the twin evils of toxic masculinity and the flu bug. Plus! Be More Like Robert! Social Shout-Outs! Dingle Debenham-North! Greater Omaha! The Swimming Dead! The Snüffel! Möttley Cerrütti! Sick! Sick! Sick! Wolfmania Late Night! Data's Handbook! Celebrity Pedalpast! The Claudio Clapper! Norway! Dead-Eyed Stuart! Casper Mattress! Spielberg, McCartney and Lee! Stop Going On About The Universal Bloody Ear! Fact Splat! Enchantment Under the Sea! Pep Music! The Leech! Macho Man Randall Savage! And very special musical guests StanBand! The Ramones! And My Glamorous Australian Wife! Is it long? Listen bud. We've got radioactive blood. Parental warning! This week's show comes with a PG-13 rating. The Dater's Handbook is pretty electric, there's an un-caught eff-bomb about 1h 45m in and someone says 'vagina' while talking about modern art. Tech Splat! This week's episode is exactly the same length as the 2002 film Spider - Man, and can be played alongside the film as a fancy blu-ray commentary track extra. You know, if you want. Thwip!

Remember, remember the 14th of November with a slightly belated, slow burning, bonfire episode of Wolfmania the Podcast: Season Two: Sickbed Cinema. With a big box of fireworx and minimal duds your favourite well-stuffed Guys Wolfman and Timpsy fan the flames of filmic debate with their hot takes on the classic 1973 scorched-copper caper The Wicker Man and the diabolical (I want to say) 2006 version where Nicholas Cage steals a bike, puts on a bear suit, punches out a load of women and then gets murdered by bees. But that's not all! The boys introduce their ambitious new proper-cooking, sitcom Buns of Anarchy. Plus! The Sorceror's Apprentice! Last Week's Punchlines Today! Proper Football Men! The Hale and Pace Movie! Social shoutouts! Celebrity Pedalpast (Aqua Edition)! Corby Trouser-Press! And special musical guest STAGZ! visit the shop: www.wolfmania.org/shop send us an email: wolfmaniapodcast@gmail.com follow us around: @wolfmaniapodcast

They're here! Wolfman and Timpsy that is, for a creepy, kooky, spectacularly spooky Halloween special edition of Wolfmania the Podcast: Sickbed Cinema. This week your favourite pair of scary clowns find something amiss in their suburban bliss when they unleash hell (and a sort-of-fun quiz) discussing the classic 1982 Steven (Steve) Spielberg shocker Poltergeist. (Spoiler alert: it's sort of like a goth E.T.). But that's not all! The boys are joined in studio by very special musical guest 'Less Than Drake' for two new monster jams, Timpsy reads a terrifying bedtime story and Wolfman burns the pizza. Plus: Ghosts! Goblins! Fancy dress! Mike the Terrified Bat! Celebrity Pedal Past! Your Letters! (alright, letter)! Non-stop pizza party! Mistakes and Regrets! Racist Ice Cream! Rob the Rogue! Louis Tomlinson! Judges' Houses! Hereford and Worcester's best new band! Big Paws! Pumpkins! A little bit of politics! More!

Oh hi everybody! Would you believe it? Wolfmania The Podcast is back, Back, BACK! For an all-new! All-different! (mostly sort-of-the-same) senses-shattering second season, and it all starts right here. After an extended lay-off Wolfman, Timpsy and Big Paws the podcast cat are back in town and trying to work out what they’re going to do now that the A - Z of Everything is over. Their answer will leave you BREATHLESS. (If you’re easily surprised by people announcing that they’re going to be running a film club podcast from now on). All your favourite features and comedy-adjacent best bits are here: Fact Splat! Celebrity Pedal Past! The Gig Pig! Plus more big jingles than a Morris Dancing marathon. (Honestly, our jingles are better than most bands’ entire recorded outputs. Believe me when I tell you that 69 minutes of rusty chunter is a small price to pay for the majesty of ‘Mama Said I’m Locked Out: Wolfmania Season 2 Theme Tune’). Plus: We Are Back! Dummy’s Guide! Sickbed Cinema! The Wire Season Six! High School German! The Sound of Cylons! Radio Cramp! ASMR Snuffling! Ned’s Acoustic Dustbin! Yoga With Adrian Chiles! ***Wolfmania the Podcast: Season 2: Sickbed Cinema*** will be released every other Wednesday until the end of time. Our next show, on October 31, will be a spooky Halloweeeeeeeen special. Your homework will be to have watched the film Poltergeist. Then we can all chat about it. x

So, this is the end beautiful friends. With inches to spare, Andrew and Tim reach the last stop on their alphabetical joke journey, arriving at the electrifying conclusion of the A - Z of Everything. The side-splitting, senses-shattering, slightly emo, LAST episode of Wolfmania the Podcast. And today they answer the BIG question that fans have been asking since day one.... What would it be like if ZZ Top went to the zoo? Plus! Zombies! A cliffhanger ending! Fudge Factory! Has it come to this! Curry live! Polly and Dolly! Big Paws! Tom Jones! Boyz II Men 2 (AET)An actual joke! visit the shop! www.wolfmania.org/shop love you x

It's late, you've lost your mates and some old bloke with a beard is bleating on about his albums of the year. No. Not the New Year's Eve Party you're about to go to... It's the one-man year-end-review episode of Wolfmania the Podcast. This week we ask: where's Tim? And could next week really be the last ever episode? Aiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!

Ho! Ho! Holy sh*t! The Wolfmania Xmas Special is here. And it's seasonally stuffed with all the gifts, gags and years of seething unspoken resentment you'd expect from 51 minutes in the company of your family. This being a showbiz Christmas, of course, we are joined in studio by some very special guests (no spoilers, but its NEW BLOODY ORDER! doing a totally exclusive Christmas song. Yes. Really!) and at the end there's a big musical number, and everybody learns a lesson. Plus! X-Wings (we've seen Star Wars. There's hard Porg-talk) X-Men (Will Hugh Jackman honour his booking?) X-clusives - The Wolfmania All-Stars featuring the Hell is for Heroes Choir and two actual members of Bananarama. Bloody hell! Happy holidays!

Andrew Wolfman's peaceful and solitary existence gets upended when he encounters Timpsy, a young man with a high midichlorian count. His desire to learn the ways of the Wolf forces Andrew to make a decision that changes their lives forever. Meanwhile, tremble-lips emo Vader, Captain Panto and Vyvyan off the Young Ones lead the New Order in an all-out assault against the 10-man Resistance for supremacy of the galaxy Oh no, hold on. With a world of 'W's dawning in front of them, Andrew and Timpsy get stuck into a 90 minute game of 'What's in the Box' which opens up a whole world of big questions. Like: "Do you like Paloma Faith" and "Jason Bourne and Matthew Bourne, right? Which one's the assassin and which one does the ballet?" Hilarity and Euro 2008 chat ensues. These are the things that I will keep.

After last week's emo disaster-thon Andrew and Tim veer back on to safer ground - half-remembering things from the past, rock hard pizza, plugs for the shop - when they are joined in studio by Very Important Person Mike Nothing. Mike joins Tim for the pilot of the new BBC Sunday night show 'Round Anglesey with Tim and Mike' while Andrew opens up the Van Halen Time Capsule and unearths a Sausage Revolution. Featuring for the first-time-online (and possibly the last time) songs by The Fizzy Corporation, The Peasants are Revolting and All Aboard the Eggbasket, this is one for the ages. Well worth sticking with for the bit where, after exactly two hours, Mike Nothing decides he's finally had enough to drink and just walks off to get an Uber. A masterclass in broadcasting.

Not going to lie, this week's Wolfmania is a pretty difficult listen. It's probably not for the faint hearted. Speaking of which, Andrew gets some bad news, and struggles to talk about it. Don't worry though, he has no such trouble chatting about the movie S.M.A.R.T. starring Tim, or giving top model David Gandy the business. Oh, and he's written a song. Instead of a will. This is uneasy listening. To make matters weirder, in an out-of-character burst of diversity, the boys are joined in studio by an actual woman, their great mate Kitty Somerset. Unfortunately, she has taken a vow of silence - which bodes well for the hot new podcast Kitty, Timpsy and the Dressing Gown Guy. Let the process of weeding out commence. Love you x

It’s T time in the Encyclopedia of Everything and there’s True Bromance in the air as Andrew and Tim are joined by very-special-guest-host, nineties heart-throb, Christian Slater (Mr Robot, Gleaming the Cube). Plus! The gang get massively small when they are turned into six-inch Star Wars figures by a mysterious Russian scientist! There’s Trick or Treat trauma in the Wild West Midlands! Trials and Tribulations on the Heritage Rock Trail! Timpsy Time! Throwing up! Weezer! A friendly witch! Jimmy Page toilets! Promotional Drinks Clowns! Paradise Papers the movie! Celebrity Pedalpast! The Smashing Pumpkins! A half-hearted apology! Big Paws the cat gets stuck in a box! Bib Fortuna! Plus! Literally, unbelievable new music from Patrick Stewart. Yes, that PATRICK STEWART! And the staggering new supergroup Perry, Perry, Perry tackle a club classic. Really. You couldn’t make it up.

It’s someone’s birthday in the Internut Space Station and controls are set for spoiled baby in this week’s very special episode of Wolfmania the Podcast. Andrew, Tim and Big Paws throw a big podcast party (and then an even bigger strop when only Dave Storey the rocking Geordie shows up). There is plenty of potential to ‘feel your presence’ as the gang exchange gifts and talk Star Wars, plus a a bit of “no Luke, I am your Father” when one of those gifts turns out to require a DNA sample. Plus! We unveil the mammoth new heavy metal / David Mamet rock opera Glengarry Glen Danzig! Brainy Fun Time! Celebrity Pedalpast! England’s Finest! Party legends! A Carnival of Souls! Funnel of Spit! And (at 24m 19s) inarguably, the greatest pop song ever recorded… Non-Stop Pizza Party. Parental Guidance: There is, of course, some coarse language during the Danzig section that some people may find offensive. Also, don’t let your children grow up as grumbly and ungrateful as this lot.

I don't care if Monday's black, Tuesday, Wednesday: Heart attack, Thursday never looking back, it's Friday and I'm at lunch. Today we at Wolfmania have something very special for your weekend: Actual Wolfmania exclusives from LCD Soundsystem and The National! A real robot war! R Rated Erratic IT erotica! A Whiskery bear! The Gig Pig returns! A touching tribute! Getting down with the MAMWOO sound! NHS LOLs Vol 2! Euromillionaires! A kitten on a quadbike! A carrot that looks like a penis! And so much more...

Q: Where is the best place to find massive LAFFS, monstrous new music, charming chat (both kinds: serious and silly) AND at least 40 minutes of hot nineties guys playing board games? A: The new ‘Quiz Night’ Episode of Wolfmania The Podcast, of course. In this week’s very special, ever-so-slightly-harrowing, 100 minute monster jam Andrew and Tim pay a surprisingly heartfelt tribute to the great Harry Dean Stanton and Grant Hart (and then ruin it with a still-heartfelt-but-possibly-poor taste musical homage). We help to discover the NHS’ hottest new lie-down comedian, go slamdancing with the Quincy punks, and test our knowledge (and patience) as we play a politically-charged game of Mike Read’s Pop Quiz. Plus: Jesus Jones doing yoga! Florence and the Machine’s choreographer! Judas Priest in an MRI machine! Font news! Instagram stickers! Totally Killing the Community Clinic! Kim Wilde! Morrissey knows about Phil Collins! Relax! ChIPS! Mayhem! Escape Goats! Busker Du! Heavy weather! More! Warning: This week’s episode has some swearing left in it. Because it’s cool when Harry Dean Stanton does it.

Wolfmania is back! Back! Back! and ready to party. In this very special episode Andrew and Tim park the internet space station in the middle of the Notting Hill Carnival, strap some speakers to the roof and crank out... a surprising amount of Jesus Jones. Dancing policemen, drinks in coconuts and a bloke calling us narcs for wearing a podcast wire to the party parade quickly ensue. And that's not all, we head over to Kensington Palace, meet the REAL people's Princess, and gnash our teeth over her shock new album. Wolfmania Sports Extra reveals full details of this week's BIG indie rock cricket tournament (September the 9th at Paddington Rec - 1pm start) and tries to up both its firepower and star power by talking two MAJOR stars into playing. PLUS! Dale Storey from Velvet Marauder in Studio! Robot Fassbender! Ace of Drum and Bass! Trivago's Proper Zuul tactics! Dunkirk re-cast! Who is Timpsy and why is he getting bullied by four-year-olds? Artie Morkel!

Andrew and Tim's first album 'Jingles Going Steady - Music From and Inspired by Wolfmania the Podcast' has been banned in Europe. BANNED! It was due out yesterday, but Spotify and iTunes have run scared from the album's alleged "terrible quality" and refused to release it to ravenous rock fans. Upset but unbowed your tuneful twosome seek a second opinion from a very special guest - wild-eyed, world famous iconoclastic music critic JOHNNY CRACKPIPE. Crackpipe, best known as the firebrand weapon-in-chief of GRISTLE magazine talks us through the record's 27 tracks, his own controversial career, and, frankly, whatever else he likes because he's bloody terrifying. PLUS! Indoor and outdoor animals! Celebrity Pedalpast Diaries Live! Works Experience! A star of stage and screen! Wolfmania Sports Extra! London 2017! Hypersports! Centaurs! And so much more!

Famously, Seinfeld was billed as the show about nothing. That was nonsense of course, there were characters, stories and jokes. All the usual boring sell out comedy stuff. Not so in the 'N' episode of Wolfmania the Podcast. No, in 102 minutes of breathtaking broadcasting we really redefine what it means to natter about nothing. Not-for-profit businesses, numbers stations, new music... Plus! All your favourite features: Celebrity Pedalpast! The Gig Pig! Mistakes and Regrets! A dog show! A wedding disco! The charts! Picking up metal bands at the airport! Gadget Show Alumni! LA hitmakers! A tribute to the greatest city on Earth! Fantasy Superbikes! Drinking in the afternoon! And if you stick around. I mean really stick it out to the end... an actual proper joke. See if you can spot it. Wolfmania: For the few not the many.

Wolfmania Bitesize is the pocket-sized podcast perfect your busy lifestyle. Mechanically separated laff morsels that you can eat between episodes. Best bits and bloopers from Wolfmania the Podcast with Andrew and Tim. It has the greatest theme song ever recorded. This week. The U2 Ukulele orchestra.

WTF! We've had to keep this one under our hat a bit, but this week, to celebrate the half-way point in their incredible chat journey, Andrew and Tim travel to LA to meet up with King of the podcast Marc Maron and talk about their craft! What the Flip! Plus! Gavin Rossdale from Bush is stopping on the futon! Big Paws the cat gets a clipboard! Enough new jingles to last three Christmases! Our milkshake brings all the nerds to the yard! Celebrity Pedalpast! The girl on the platform's smile! AND MORE! Swear warning! We've tried to catch all the effs and jeffis, but that Marc Maron does love a curse. Parents you have been warned.

Andrew and Tim are reunited in the internut space station on the hottest day of the year and celebrate with an extra long, extra sweaty comedy jam. Marvel at the mysteries of the deep as we explore the depths of Loch Ness! Thrill to the behind-the-music exploits of the legend Luther Grosvenor, Uncover the Scandinavian noir crimebuster Lagerbeck (insert your own umlauts on that). Plus! the ghost of Leonard Nimoy! KISS live! Country Grandma! Michael Portillo! MORE! MORE! MORE!

The concluding part of K-Town from Wolfmania the Podcast and This West Midland Life. Everybody dies.

What follows bad news? Bad sport and worse weather. New from Wolfmania and This West Midland Life, K-Town is a podcast that delves into the just-about-beating heart and troubled mind of a middling carpet town a bit South of Birmingham and forty miles east of Wales. This week's treasure hunt uncovers some thick soup, a surprising amount of Captain Beefheart and a little bit of Mark Clemmit. Plus! pooh sticks on the radio! Live Mini Golf! Everybody learns a lesson! Chapter Two: Everything Tastes Better Outside.

New from Wolfmania and This West Midland Life, K-Town is a podcast that delves into the just-about-beating heart and troubled mind of a middling carpet town a bit South of Birmingham and forty miles east of Wales. Daring, thoughtful storytelling holds hands with vikings, minigolf and cake. Welcome to K-Town. Chapter One: Even a Stopped Clock Tells The Right Time Twice A Day.

When Wolfmania is struck by the sidekick strike, Andrew is faced with a dilemma. Strike out solo, or create a CGI Tim out of newspaper, string and a bit of bad back. You know, like they do in the Star Wars films. This week's fun-filled fifty minutes features BIG CHAT (TM) about jobs, and the most jaw-dropping sentence ever spoken on the radio (or anywhere else) plus, we are joined in studio by internet fashion vlog sensations (yes, that's a thing) The Jersey Boys to learn about 'the 5 jumpers that we should be wearing, literally right now'. OMG! And that's not all! We sneak into an Elbow recording session and hear a new song! J'Accusi! The wedding of the year! Wolfmania Live! Pool Crashers! Mosquito and Big Lips! Street Magic! What are you waiting for? Get downloading...

When Andrew dismisses the band Iron Maiden as military history bores, special guest Eddie Metal demands his right to reply, unveiling his special 'metal map.' But is Eddie really who he claims to be - the biggest heavy metal fan in all of Hampshire - or a prankster from a rival podcast? Find out here! And that's not all! Following a recent bout of insubordination - the Wolfmania crew go on a team building exercise; finding that, while there is no 'I' in team, there is one in Tim. Plus! Stone Cold Austin's Broken Skull Ranch! Little Ray Sunshine! Ska Punk theme song! Things you can buy in the shop! And a beloved indie band the business! This week's episode is sponsored by Music Heritage UK.

Things get HOT! HOT! HOT! in the easier-to-edit / not-quite-ready-for-bed-yet LATE NIGHT version of Wolfmania the Podcast. This week, in a move likely to cause years of psychological trauma. Andrew catches up with Tim in his childhood bedroom and grills him about his hottest date ever and getting higher than hell. Plus! Heaven and hell! What is English Dim Sum! Harpsichord stories! Hugh Jackman update! Wolfpack's Paradise and 'I Like to Get High'!

Like all the best concept albums and toilet paper, Episode H of Wolfmania the Podcast is tough, strong and very, very long. In this career-high instant classic, Andrew pays tribute to the headbanging heroes of heavy metal, raising a horned goblet to Led Zeppelin, Judas Priest and legendary Loughborough video diarist Chris Needham. Meanwhile, Tim gets a very metal eye test and loses his mind listening to some seriously Satanic sounds. But that's not all (oh, you're going to wish that was all). We learn the senses-shattering origin stories of some of the greatest super heroes the world has never known: Bell Man and Mr Sand, Hover Boy, mild-mannered Miles Mannling and the sinister Podcaster. Andrew reveals why Holland Hates him. Tim gives an Australian hardware warehouse the business. We find out how much funerals cost. There's a lot of chat about swimming. And a feature on 'how nice Andrew's hair is' completely dies on its arse. Dare you miss this one? No. No you dare not. ps. stick around to the end of the episode for your chance to win a great prize (that Tim is paying for).

Already sick and tired of disappointing elections? You need a quick shot of Wolfmania Late Night. That's right, the slightly-less-erratic, marginally-more-erotic older sister show of Wolfmania the Podcast makes a mucky return to the airwaves as Andrew and Tim make like Motley Crue and go Girl! Girl! Girl! crazy. For those of you who like your late night content a little contentious, the boys shout at the devil in the least expected GOD chat this side of that Nicky Campbell show they have on Sunday morning that you think is going to be all about Grannies getting ripped off when they have their new PVC windows installed, but is actually a boring debate about whether or not we should give the terrorists the oxygen of publicity. Then, after that, we talk about going to the toilet for twenty minutes. Given tonight's impossibly hot topics Wolfmania Late Night features strong language and flashing images from the start (actually, it would be more correct to say it features strong flashing and language issues from the start). You have been warned. If you're still wondering whether Wolfmania Late Night is for you, consider that this episode features the punchlines: 'Sex Toy Story', 'Justin Toiletlake' and quite the chat about who the most famous person you've ever done a wee next to. That's what you want, right? You filthy animal, you. Yeah, you do. Normal service will be resumed next week.

Episode 10 of Wolfmania the Podcast ain't nothin' but a G Thang. And it really is quite a thang. This week Andrew and Tim meet Magneto in an off licence, unearth an unreleased rarity from a mystery Boston grunge band and unleash Geordie Gangster, the greatest song in the history of pop. Twice. But that's not all! We horrify They Might Be Giants, snigger at a bad tattoo and, seeing as how this is Masters week, bring you m-m-m-m-m-mind golf, the zen of Caddyshack and three minutes of instructional hip hop guaranteed to help you lower your handicap. What have the other podcasts done for you this week?

Episode F of Wolfmania the Podcast is a sprawling, glittering, chat odyssey. An epic word jam full of laughs, songs and sort-of facts. This week, Tim and Andrew come down with a terrible dose of FESTIVAL FEVER (everything’s a festival these days isn’t it?) FISHERMAN’S GROTTO! (The adventure! The horror! The fashion!) and FOSSIL HUNTING ON THE RADIO (can we dig it? Yes, we can). As if that wasn’t enough, we unveil Tim’s FURTIVE FEATURE and listen to the amazing ‘MY OWN NEWS’ an exclusive new track from seminal nineties emo band FUNCTION! Plus! Dumptruck Donnington – the great new travel game for kids - Ticketmiffle.com, The Barron Knights, Hugh Jackman news and A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT.

Come over to the dark side with the first episode of Wolfmana Late Night - the slightly more erratic, marginally more erotic after-hours version of Wolfmania the Podcast. This week Andrew and Tim drop the 'F' bomb and talk filth, fighting, fear, football and freedom. Or at least they try to. (If you found this episode on an Indian restaurant menu it would probably have two little chillies next to it.) Episode F features the songs 'Wolfmania Late Night' and 'How Do They Stay in the Air' along with some piping hot locker room talk, with all the toilet words left in. Your normal swear-free service will be resumed next week.

Extra big, extra funny and a-bit-more-clever-than-you-think, this is the best episode of Wolfmania the Podcast EVER! Andrew and Tim open up the Encyclopedia of Everything for a bit of Magic E and unearth some practically Jurassic Early Stuff! If that's not enough, there's an extra terrestrial abduction, an utterly brutal EGG BATTLE and (hold the front page) the boys get a sponsorship deal. Plus! Rain, Sleet and Snow! Andrew evolves! Brian May! BADGERS! Sisqo! Thumbs up from a ghost! A rare space party remix! This is the one! - this week's episode is brought to you by the Play Canvas video game Master Archer for Facebook.

In this very special episode of Wolfmania the Podcast Andrew and Tim are joined in studio by their great mate Dungeonmaster Dave for a rapid descent into the Mines of Mayhem (bwahahahahahahahaha!) Will the boys unearth the gemstones of whatever-it-was? Will they be devoured by a giant toilet worm? Will Andrew get all sniffy about it, thinking he's better than this this nonsense? Tune in and find out!

The Encyclopedia of Everything entry for the letter 'D' is so massive we're having a two-parter. In the first of our Double D specials there is a WOLFMANIA EXCLUSIVE! from West Midlands (the band) the boys dig up some dirt on dinosaurs, and challenge Big Paws (the fictional cat) to a game of Daley Thompson's Decathlon. Also! Last Week's Punchlines Today! talking Trebuchets! Star Wars tat! My Little Ponyman! Liam Neeson In Studio (sort of) and much, much more....

Episode 4 of Wolfmania the Podcast is an instant classic! The Encyclopedia of Everything flops open on the letter C, coughing up Cake (UK) the greatest rock 'n' roll band you've never heard of: the hits, the hair, the guy dressed as a sausage roll, it's all here. Plus, we visit the Celebrity Video Shop of Doom - where taking out a VHS is bad can be bad for your rental health - go in for the Lion King, leave with your life if you're lucky. And that's not all! Choose Your Own Adventure! The Cobra! Agnostic Front Weetabix! Patricia Arquette! How good is the Pixies wi-fi! Meet the new Robocop! Andrew wins a t-shirt and the boys get a cute new sidekick.

Fading nineties rocker Lol from Gonch joins Andrew and Tim in the internut space station to talk all things Britpop: Why Kula Shaker were right, what really happened with Tommy from Space and what it's actually like looking after Richard Ashcroft's Instagram account. Meanwhile, the boys get all emo in Umea, as they reminisce about seeing the world's oldest ski at a wedding in Sweden, and try to launch a hot new broadcasting craze - brass rubbing on the radio.

In the second episode of Wolfmania The Podcast Andrew and Tim open up their Encyclopedia of Everything at the letter 'A'. Well, where else do you start? Topically (sort of topically) the team discuss getting excited, ill and bankrupt in America: terror on the subway, horror at the ball game, and the little-known Mr Robot tourist market. Andrew explains why his burgeoning career as an astronaut failed to launch, and finds out who Tim Peake's favourite grime artist is while our Tim tries to prove that he is more yoga master than Jagermeister by working out with his favourite internet celebrity. Plus! Fun! Games! Arty bits! And music courtesy of the Wolfpack of One 'classic' The Fifteen Greatest Things I Found In The Woods (it's sort of relevant to the bit about America - you'll see).