Pawd Pod

Returning superguest Cynthia Kmak joins me for a spooktacular episode. We break from traditional animal facts to bring you a special episode centering around werewolves. The history, the need to knows, the myths. And lots of puns at the end. 

When a peacock fugitive is on the run, only the BPD can step in to restore justice. Or, just, sometimes peacocks like to escape the zoo. At least that's what is true in Kelly Noonan's experience. Kelly is a good friend, excellent writer, and real cool person. She shares real life peacock stories, real life Poshmark woes, and some deep introspection on this weeks episode. 

What the heck is an axolotl? Cozi Orlen, aka host of the You Need To See This! podcast and indie, underground animal expert joins me to talk about these happy little sea lizards. We make a few too many references to Emily In Paris, and coin a new, very relevant phrase about blood. 

Spiders are scary. This episode is about black widow spiders, which are scary. So, to mitigate the terror, we spend more time talking about Scarlett Johansson than actual spiders. Turns out, they are both kinda weird. Liz Marcucci from the Who Dis? Show talks to me about these nifty lil spooders and so much more. 

Shaq is pretty dang tall. But how big is Shaq compared to a humpback whale? That's what comedian, actor, mask maker (Katie Does Good) and TikTok star (singersewer) Katie Cutler and I try to get to the bottom of in this episode. I mean, a lot happens, but... the Shaq conversation really deserves its own episode. 

Some people think manatees are big dumb potatoes. Kate Wiersema (CSz Minor League, Improductions LLC, general great person) hopes to help break that stereotype. She may not be an animal person, but she IS a manatee person. We talk about midwest cuisine, how dumb Christopher Columbus is, and so much more. 

For fans of the show it should be no surprise that this entire episode is one long innuendo. For one, the animal is the dik dik. Like, who let that happen? And two, I'm with the hilarious and talented Allie Vollmer - so sillies were bound to transpire. Tune in for eye related trauma and a 46 minute dik dik joke. 

Spotted: Chicago's hottest comedian and social media content strategist Carly Kohake sitting down with Pawd Pod to talk about the pettiest of birds, crows. We also discuss our future presidential run, if it's weird to be naked in front of pets, and Simon only makes one Sheryl Crow joke. 

Thanks to the amazing Oatmeal for bringing this creature and it's impressive butt to our attention. Because without it, returning guest and America's sweetheart Alex DiVirgilio and I might not have ever known about the world of wonders that a wombat possesses. We talk very, very in depth and exclusively about the wombat butt. So if you're not into butt stuff, this one's not for you. 

We all know the honey badger gives no f***s, but we might not all know about its awards, inside-out butt, or favorite snack. Film maker, comedian, film critic, and guy I've worked with at several jobs Sean Price joins me to tell me more about his love for and admiration of the fiercest animal around. We also take apart some childhood trauma and our celebrity crushes. 

How did the hot dog get it's name? And why do they call it a wiener? What does liberty have to do with the dachshund? Teacher, comedian, and dachshund enthusiast Sue Taney joins me to delve maybe too deep into the origins of these short and stout stunners. 

There's an elephant in the room. The court room, that is. Because there has been an elephant convicted of MURDER in these United States. Yvette Jaskiewicz of CSz Theater Chicago is one of the funniest people I know, and also loves butts and elephants a whole lot. Together we debunk many elephant myths, and aim to put French Lick, Indiana on the map. 

It's hot squirrel summer here at the Pawd Pod! Heather Scholl (After Party, Anarchy!, CSz Theater, etc) joins to talk about these furry little tree rats, bidets, nut chunking, and Animal Crossing. 

Season 3 is HERE and what a way to start it other than with our first ever in person recording! AND on top of that with one of my personal favorite comedians and dearest friends - Bri Fitzpatrick!! We go into detail about tree kangaroos and regular kangaroos, because I didn't understand the assignment. We consider what kangaroos COULD be if people didn't limit their abilities, how to actually pronounce koala, and the inner workings of each kangaroo part. Check out Bri in The Quest We Can Do on Twitch! 

Co-Host of Shared History (@SharedPod) and comedian Natalie Younger stops by for the season 2 finale of the Pawd Pod. And what better way to end the season than with possum talk. Or opossum talk. They are not the same, turns out. Take a journey with us down the road less traveled, and join the pro-possum team. 

Ducks. So cute. So horrifying. This one really earns its explicit content warning, because, wow ducks. Way to be. Kelsey Myers of CSz Chicago and "The Goose" fame joins me in one of the silliest dang episodes in Pawd Pod history. 

Whaaaale whale whale, if it isn't THE Maggie Smith (Co-host of Roommate Lovers, contributor to The Onion, producer at Make It Up Media, and much much more) drops by to chat about the mean girls of the water, Orcas. We also dive in to the best vegan treats, free donuts, and what owning a turtle must be like. 

You know who hates Mondays? Garfield, duh, but also okapi. This week the amazing Amelia Fowler (owner and head of Diversity and Inclusion for CSz NYC, actress, comedian) joins me to delve into the animal that evaded old white folks for a long time. 

How many times did you watch Hamster Dance as a child? A lot? You wouldn't be alone. But what do we know about those little vibin' rodents? Did you know they were merciless killers? Or that they can handle their liquor better than I can? Writer and improvisor Alice Stanley Jr joins me to talk about her affinity for hamsters, the life lessons they've taught her, Mini Brands, Dunkin Donuts, and some spicy pug hot takes. 

ComedySportz San Antoni all-star Bailey Solo and I share in deep rooted frog trauma. We spend time unpacking that together in this frog-filled episode. We discuss frogs as sports, frogs as military leaders, frogs with other professions, good frog accessories, bad frog accessories, frog surprises, and a whole lot more. 

Seahorses are wholesome, adorable slowpokes. They dance, they are romantics, and they blow like a t-shirt cannon. Legendary comedian Kat Gotsick joins me to discuss the sweeties of the sea this week, and we spend quite a bit of time pondering why anything needs water. 

Everything is better with bunnies, it's fact. America's sweetheart, and fellow funny guy, Christian Zierke joins me to discuss those little hoppers. Christian shares some scandalous secrets, and we discover the worlds worst ASMR. 

I'm not sure if there's anything Nicholas Hassebrock (CSz Theater Chicago) doesn't bring up in this episode. We discuss the perils of a vertigo diagnosis, the musical Hamilton, Texas a lot, whether dinosaurs are real or a hoax, Muppets, and oh yeah, mosquitos. Love them or hate them, they do have a purpose. I guess. 

Gila Monsters and I have three things in common - we primarily eat eggs, we love Katy Perry, and rumors have been spread that we don't have buttholes. Tara Egan, wonderful comedian and delightful human being, joins me to talk more about these magical desert critters and what makes them so dang special. But we do spend equal time talkin' eggs and animals.

The original Hungry Hungry Hippos had names, and once you know this piece of trivia it'll drive you insane for the rest of time. For our hippo episode we HAD to have our other favorite Fiona as a guest - comedian and nice person Fiona Stephens! She's not that one, but she's much more fun at parties.

Did you know koalas are born without ears, or that we call fanny packs "bum bags" now? Me either. Turns out there's a lot of really weird and interesting facts about koalas that range from butt thermometers to face-cheek storage. Comedian, writer, and model Rho Hudson joins me to talk about these very interesting critters. Check it out, and also check out Late Nite with Nate and Adrienne, a cool podcast and show that Rho writes for!

Did you know puffins are the inspiration behind puff pastry? Or that the magic dragon was a puffin, not a dragon??? No, you didn't. Because it isn't true. Turns out there's a lot of puffin fake news, and fellow king of puns and comedian Alex DiVirgilio joins me to talk about these adorable animals. Plus, we do a pun free-for-all at the end, so stick around, because things get wild.

Have you ever seen a red panda? Probably... or, did you?? We get to the bottom of the mysterious red panda effect, as well as discuss the perfect banana and the horrors of jellyfish in this episode. Amazing comedian, professional storyteller, and scholar to end all scholars Susan Haarman joins me to share some fuzzy, friendly, and fun tales. And, sadly, just in time for Valentine's Day, we break up with the critters at the end.

You know what they say. If the tree is screamin', that means a sloth is... well. Gettin' down. Host of the "Flirting With Failure" podcast, and amazing human being, Addison Brown joins me to takl about an animal that makes up a huge part of her identity. We also dabble into the vastness of the sloth butthole, and America's Next Top Model for some reason.

Puppeteer, playwright, and all around performer Camille Mitchell joins me to talk about one of the most beloved animals around - raccoons. We share some very personal raccoon moments, and even cover some fascinating raccoon history, including their presidential roots.

Looking for love in all the wrong places? Maybe you just aren't in the right habitat to find that special someone. Maybe your poops aren't an accurate representation of what's on your heart. Rhinos can relate. Amazingly hilarious comedian and very smart grad student Elizabeth Olson talks to me about these big beefy bois, and why Jimmy John's can suck it.

There's no one nicer or more controversial than Rudy Mendoza (comedian, producer at Arcade Audio) and this episode is about what you'd expect. We talk about zebras, we determine the political affiliation of different animals, and play a completely different pun game at the end (Whaaaaat)

Writer, fellow podcaster (A Star to Steer Her By) and college pal Amy Lehrmitt joins this week to talk about the sorta alien, mostly water, and not at all spreadable jellyfish. Fewer butts this episode, but way more Hemsworth brothers. AND a special little song at the end. Take note, future guests.

We're back for season 2, Pawd-Squad! We missed you very much, so we decided to start strong with the artistic director of CSz Theater Chicago, and man of my heart - Jason Geis. Waddle we talk about? Penguins, of course! Also if you've ever wanted to know what kind of underwear Jason wears, you're in luck! This episode brought to you by our proud new sponsor, Butt Oil.

It's the season finale of the Pawd Pod, but before we take our December break we thought we'd go out with a bang! Host of the Poppin' Bottles and Talking Shop podcasts, Rob Grabowski, joins to talk about why alligators are natures badasses. We plan our escape routes if we ever got stuck between a gator and a hard place, and somehow manage to bring up cake farts. We will be back in January with many more fun episodes and animals, so stay tuned!

Our first aquatic animal!! And if ever there was an animal capable of pulling off an elaborate heist it would be the octopus. Jen Shepard (owner of the ImprovAcadia theater and interim managing director of the Penobscot Theater Company) and I plan the details of what will be a very good movie. We also discuss the interesting mating habits of these creatures, and tell too many jokes at the end.

When Cynthia Kmak is around you can be sure it's going to be a weird and wonderful time. This episode about turkey, Thanksgiving, and Julia Child is no exception to that rule. Things get steamy in the kitchen, and of course there's ample poop discussion and turkey noises.

Falcons are the fastest birds, and paint your own pottery is the fastest retail con on the planet. Comedian and good human Jesse Gomez joins me to discuss these badass birds. Find out exactly what falcons and Jason Derulo have in common - surprise, it's more than you'd think.

Jacob Ebersole has a real life degree in zoology, and therefore boosts my credibility by 1000%. We learn all about the platypus, how it's basically a Pokemon, why horses can suck it, and reminisce about the days of Ask Jeeves.

The 2020 election is this week - so we thought we'd take some time to reflect on the bald eagle. What do they sound like? What kind of house would they own in the suburbs? Simon's friend since the age of 3 and creator of Scorpion Honey (MetalHoney.com) Sarah Murrell joins the show this week to delve into the psyche of the eagle, and why America is kinda a bummer right now.

This one goes out to Joey Chestnut and Vin Diesel, the most bat-like humans. Comedian Charly Williams and I talk about bats this week, and learn that more than anything we wish we could be bats ourselves. This is the final episode in the spooky series for October, so get your final frights and flights in before it's stupid November!

The ultimate #spookyseason animal are black cats, and the ultimate spoopy guest is Liz Anderson (comedian, writer, and creator of the Paired podcast.) We talk about animal labor, witches, and if Russian cats participate in communism.

We all know owls are wise and cute, but do we have the full story? Musical theater writer, and expert in all things spooky, Laura Stratford discusses why owls should be included in any conversation about scary animals. Are they aliens? Are they witches? You be the judge.

If you've not been listening to the Pawd Pod podcast, you're missing tons of animal facts and so much more. Catch up on what you've missed!

What happens if you cross a dinosaur with a broken puppet? You would definitely get a shoebill crane. This episode marks our first in the series of creepy, horrifying, spooky animals for the month of October. We kick off the frights with ukulele star and wonderfully funny human Lizzy Powers.

Tik Tok sensation Clarke Newton joins Simon to talk about their love of gorillas. From how white people really messed yet another thing up to GQ's list of best gorillas, there's no detail left out. And please, consider donating to gorilla conservation, because these lil guys really need it!

We reinvent the classic 185 this week as Chicago comedy legend, and host of the Our Father podcast, Pad Connelly joins Simon to talk cockatiels. We learn that cockatiels are just like that one ex you have, you know - that one, and Simon learns an invaluable lesson on sound checks before recording.

What does Alien: Resurrection have to do with the liger? Turns out, so so much. Comedian Ashley Victoria dives deep into her love of these unique animals and a wide variety of things. There's a lot of giggling, and a special treat in the 185 section.

What would a tortoise job look like? What would a tortoise sing on karaoke night? Comedian Alex Richmond and I discuss these, and many other fun details, in depth on this weeks episode.

Wanna go for a wild ride through the history of these amazing creature? Just bring yourself - alpaca the rest. THE Junkyard Divas (Liz Ebersole and Trevor George) join me this week to talk about their favorite animal. We also cover why Liz can't sleep at night, why birds in Indiana are terrifying, and what an alpaca does when it's time for the magic to happen.

What's cooler than cool? These ice cold polar bear facts. Drag Superstar, and general sweetheart, Holly Baloo guests this week to talk about everything from delayed implementation to the beauty of fireflies, how important toilets are, and how to classify humans for dating apps.