Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast

Welcome to Episode 100 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with psychologist Dr. Todd Bowman as we explore bipolar mood disorder.   Dr. Bowman is the Associate Professor of Counseling at Indiana Wesleyan University. He is an Adjunct Professor for Human Sexuality at Nazarene Theological Seminary. He is an Adjunct Professor of the Intro to Psychology at Nazarene Bible College. He also is an evaluating psychologist for assessing seminary applicants for seminaries.   Our conversation takes us into the following:   * The difference between a personality disorder and a mood disorder. * How mood disorders are related to depressive disorders. * How lifestyle changes (eating, sleeping, exercise…) can be as effective as antidepressants. * What an emotional hangover is. * How mood disorders have a strong underpinning of genetic predisposition. * Diagnosable features of bipolar mood disorder. * How some people with exhausted dopamine circuits have been misdiagnosed as bipolar. * How to engage people who present with bipolar mood disorder. * How bipolar mood disorder is often leveraged for inappropriately excusing behavior. * How free will is about initial choices in a deep process, not just the powerless moments of an overwhelmed system.   ▷   Visit our Red Ink Revival website: https://redinkrevival.com   https://www.redinkrevival.com/blog/categories/podcast   ▷   Connect with Patrick on social media: FB: https://www.facebook.com/redinkrevival FB: https://www.facebook.com/patricknorris IG: https://www.instagram.com/redinkrevival/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/norris.patrick/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-norris-4b733412/   ▷   Subscribe to the podcast, then rate, review, and share it! YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAFa7APH8IY1o-bO9eGPUVQ APPLE PODCAST:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/id1483717555 SPOTIFY:  https://open.spotify.com/show/5PYiyjQhfrTKTLxnHyEj7E AUDIBLE:  https://www.audible.com/pd/Red-Ink-Revival-Leadership-Podcast-Podcast/B08JJPN2W6 PANDORA:  https://www.pandora.com/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/PC:24055 LIBSYN: https://redinkrevival.libsyn.com/   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com. Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode 99 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with psychologist Dr. Todd Bowman as we continue to catch up and talk about an uptick in client issues.   Dr. Bowman is the Associate Professor of Counseling at Indiana Wesleyan University. He is an Adjunct Professor for Human Sexuality at Nazarene Theological Seminary. He is an Adjunct Professor of the Intro to Psychology at Nazarene Bible College. He also is an evaluating psychologist for assessing seminary applicants for seminaries.   Our conversation takes us into the following:   * The difference between a personality disorder and a mood disorder. * Whether personality disorders are biological/genetic or spawned from interpersonal wounds. * What Borderline Personality Disorder is and many of the features it presents. * How childhood traumatic experiences in our stories generate personality disorders. * How the greatest influence to forming our personalities are probably interpersonal negligence and trauma, rather than genetics. * What happens in the womb in prenatal formations of a baby's brain. * Patrick's childhood story of growing up with a mom with diagnosable Borderline Personality Disorder. * How difficult it is for people with personality disorders to have capacity for self-reflection and self-awareness. * How we will begin to feel something is “off” in our own bodies when interacting with people with personality disorders. * Why self-differentiation and boundaries are key to staying engaged with people with personality disorders. * Therapies that a person with Borderline Personality Disorder can do to move to health and flourishing. * How to functionally lead people who show markers of Borderline Personality Disorder.   Recommended book: Stop Walking on Eggshells – Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder (Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger)    ▷   Visit the Red Ink Revival website: https://redinkrevival.com   https://www.redinkrevival.com/blog/categories/podcast   ▷   Connect with Patrick on social media: FB: https://www.facebook.com/redinkrevival FB: https://www.facebook.com/patricknorris IG: https://www.instagram.com/redinkrevival/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/norris.patrick/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-norris-4b733412/   ▷   Subscribe to the podcast, then rate, review, and share it! YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAFa7APH8IY1o-bO9eGPUVQ APPLE PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/id1483717555 SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/5PYiyjQhfrTKTLxnHyEj7E AUDIBLE: https://www.audible.com/pd/Red-Ink-Revival-Leadership-Podcast-Podcast/B08JJPN2W6 PANDORA: https://www.pandora.com/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/PC:24055 LIBSYN: https://redinkrevival.libsyn.com/   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode 98 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with psychologist Dr. Todd Bowman as we catch up and talk about an uptick in client issues.   Dr. Bowman is the Associate Professor of Counseling at Indiana Wesleyan University. He is an Adjunct Professor for Human Sexuality at Nazarene Theological Seminary. He is an Adjunct Professor of the Intro to Psychology at Nazarene Bible College. He also is an evaluating psychologist for assessing seminary applicants for seminaries.   Our conversation takes us into the following:   * How the pandemic has created increased disruptions of flow. * What we can do to turn off the negativity and disruptions. * The importance of being curious rather than judgmental. * The impact of pandemic, political, and racial unrest issues. * Common issues that are showing up in marriage, parenting, and overall well-being. * Cognitive/rational issues that are increasing. * Affective/emotional issues that are increasing. * Biological/physical issues that are increasing. * What is happening to our kids, families, and churches from experiences during the pandemic. * The culture's avoidance of naming things “trauma”. * How grief, anxiety, and anger has taken a toll on life. * Dopamine experiences of pleasure and pain in opponent process theory. * Post orgasmic experiences in marriages where sex is not bonding. * How interpersonal bonding helps resolve dopamine drops. * Common solutions and treatments given to clients for management.    ▷   Visit the Red Ink Revival website: https://redinkrevival.com   https://www.redinkrevival.com/blog/categories/podcast   ▷   Connect with Patrick on social media: FB: https://www.facebook.com/redinkrevival FB: https://www.facebook.com/patricknorris IG: https://www.instagram.com/redinkrevival/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/norris.patrick/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-norris-4b733412/   ▷   Subscribe to the podcast, then rate, review, and share it! YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAFa7APH8IY1o-bO9eGPUVQ APPLE PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/id1483717555 SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/5PYiyjQhfrTKTLxnHyEj7E AUDIBLE: https://www.audible.com/pd/Red-Ink-Revival-Leadership-Podcast-Podcast/B08JJPN2W6 PANDORA: https://www.pandora.com/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/PC:24055 LIBSYN: https://redinkrevival.libsyn.com/   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode 97 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. In today's episode Patrick is continuing with one of the most important factors for successful leaders, self-differentiation. The past 5 episodes have focused on these concepts, starting with episode 92 (The Leader's Kryptonite: Emotional Fusion Versus Differentiation) giving the context for the series. If you have wondered why you can't seem to get the ‘wins' you work so hard for, even after training with conferences, consultants, books, podcasts, and mentors, this episode series is for you!   Today's episode takes us into the following:   * How anxiety drives the good, the bad, and the ugly in every relationship and system. * A Biblical perspective of anxiety as a driver of both functional and dysfunctional behavior. * Review of self-differentiation and giving context to leadership challenges. * How to stay steady after you stand up and how to hold onto who you really are, even with intense reactivity from the group or system. * How holding onto yourself involves four basic activities. * The importance of prioritizing growth over perfection and flawlessness. * The power of loving yourself with radical acceptance, even though others are judging you. * How to avoid a conflict of wills through vulnerability of showing up, without needing to change anyone else. * Using breathing and physical techniques to calm the nervous system. * Practicing reframing painful moments through awareness and story exercises. * Zooming out and externalizing to be able to give reactive relationships the compassion you desire. * The purpose and power of boundaries, giving consequences to be your best self, not to control others. * Learning to evaluate past painful moments by engaging a crash site analysis. * The practice of healthy, appropriate grieving when losses happen, to prepare our hearts for the next time we encounter intense reactivity.    ▷   Visit the Red Ink Revival website: https://redinkrevival.com   https://www.redinkrevival.com/blog/categories/podcast   ▷   Connect with Patrick on social media: FB: https://www.facebook.com/redinkrevival FB: https://www.facebook.com/patricknorris IG: https://www.instagram.com/redinkrevival/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/norris.patrick/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-norris-4b733412/   ▷   Subscribe to the podcast, then rate, review, and share it! YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAFa7APH8IY1o-bO9eGPUVQ APPLE PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/id1483717555 SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/5PYiyjQhfrTKTLxnHyEj7E AUDIBLE: https://www.audible.com/pd/Red-Ink-Revival-Leadership-Podcast-Podcast/B08JJPN2W6 PANDORA: https://www.pandora.com/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/PC:24055 LIBSYN: https://redinkrevival.libsyn.com/   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode 96 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. In today's episode Patrick is continuing with one of the most important factors for successful leaders, self-differentiation. The past 4 episodes have focused on these concepts, starting with episode 92 (The Leader's Kryptonite: Emotional Fusion Versus Differentiation) giving the context for the series. If you have wondered why you can't seem to get the ‘wins' you work so hard for, even after training with conferences, consultants, books, podcasts, and mentors, this episode series is for you!   Today's episode takes us into the following:   * Review of self-differentiation and giving context to leadership challenges. * Identifying overt/conscious and covert/unconscious anxieties in teammates and organizations. * A short review of the 3 components to mature in self-definition or identity: A-R-T. * How standing up and showing up really is having both individuation and connection. * The rewards of standing up with who we really are versus the costs of not standing up with who we really are. * The fears that keep us stuck in hiddenness. * Standing up with assertiveness versus aggressiveness. * Scripture references for standing up with individuation and connection. * Exploration of how to stand up when it is uncomfortable. * What courage is and how to engage it. * How to prepare for an interaction that requires you to stand up. * How skills are to help manage our own anxieties, not control the other's.    ▷   Visit the Red Ink Revival website: https://redinkrevival.com   https://www.redinkrevival.com/blog/categories/podcast   ▷   Connect with Patrick on social media: FB: https://www.facebook.com/redinkrevival FB: https://www.facebook.com/patricknorris IG: https://www.instagram.com/redinkrevival/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/norris.patrick/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-norris-4b733412/   ▷   Subscribe to the podcast, then rate, review, and share it! YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAFa7APH8IY1o-bO9eGPUVQ APPLE PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/id1483717555 SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/5PYiyjQhfrTKTLxnHyEj7E AUDIBLE: https://www.audible.com/pd/Red-Ink-Revival-Leadership-Podcast-Podcast/B08JJPN2W6 PANDORA: https://www.pandora.com/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/PC:24055 LIBSYN: https://redinkrevival.libsyn.com/   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode 95 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. In today's episode Patrick is continuing with one of the most important factors for successful leaders, self-differentiation. The past 3 episodes have focused on these concepts, starting with episode 92 (The Leader's Kryptonite: Emotional Fusion Versus Differentiation) giving the context for the series. If you have wondered why you can't seem to get the ‘wins' you work so hard for, even after training with conferences, consultants, books, podcasts, and mentors, this episode series is for you!   Episode 95 takes us into the following:   * Review of self-differentiation and giving context to leadership challenges. * Continued exploration of the 3 components to mature in self-definition or identity: A-R-T. * Review of awareness and responsibility (AR of ART) as the first two components of self-definition or identity. * Revealing the third component of self-definition or identity: truth. * How truth is about honoring your own values, perspectives, opinions, convictions, interpretations, beliefs, desires, and goals. * How identity is the ability to know and commit to what you believe is true, not being closed to opposing ideas, or being inflexible. * How identity is about the right to define yourself, define your own thoughts and beliefs, and to clarify what it means to be yourself. * How identity empowers you to know what you think is important, what is valuable, and what you believe to be moral and true. * How you come to know what is true: objectivity versus subjectivity. * Exploration of free moral agency as God's gift to choose what you believe is true. * How emotions and feelings are beneficial gifts to serve your awareness, but how they are unreliable sources to anchor you in truth. * The benefit of Scripture as an authoritative source for truth. * How Biblical identity is not your unwilling acceptance of God's forced enmeshment, but your willing acceptance in pursuit of truth. * Biblical texts to reinforce ideas and benefits of truth around emotional states. * Exercises to build your truth-muscles and instincts.    ▷   Visit the Red Ink Revival website: https://redinkrevival.com   https://www.redinkrevival.com/blog/categories/podcast   ▷   Connect with Patrick on social media: FB: https://www.facebook.com/redinkrevival FB: https://www.facebook.com/patricknorris IG: https://www.instagram.com/redinkrevival/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/norris.patrick/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-norris-4b733412/   ▷   Subscribe to the podcast, then rate, review, and share it! YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAFa7APH8IY1o-bO9eGPUVQ APPLE PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/id1483717555 SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/5PYiyjQhfrTKTLxnHyEj7E AUDIBLE: https://www.audible.com/pd/Red-Ink-Revival-Leadership-Podcast-Podcast/B08JJPN2W6 PANDORA: https://www.pandora.com/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/PC:24055 LIBSYN: https://redinkrevival.libsyn.com/   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #94 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. In today's episode Patrick is continuing with one of the most important factors for successful leaders: differentiation. Self-differentiation is a human flourishing code cracker. If you have wondered why you can't seem to get the ‘wins' you work so hard for, even after training with conferences, consultants, books, podcasts, and mentors, this episode is for you!   This episode takes us into the following:   * Review of Dr. Murray Bowen's Systems Theory. * Sharing of quotes from Pastor Steve Cuss's work about Systems Theory from his book, Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs. * Discussion regarding the distinctions between enmeshment/fusion, detachment/distance and self-differentiation. * Continued exploration of the 5 components to mature in self-differentiation: A-R-T-S-Y. * Exploration of the ART (awareness, responsibility, and truth) of self-definition and emotional identity. * Biblical texts to reinforce ideas of intentional responsibility around emotional states. * How self-awareness is a critical component of identity, but without responsibility it makes a person entitled, self-absorbed, and toxic. * How God is looking for growth and maturity, rather than flawlessness and perfectionism. * How self-definition comes from within, not by being adaptive to other's desires, emotions, and projections. * Examination of pro-depressive circuits and empowerment (dopamine) circuits from Dr. Andrew Huberman's work, a neuroscientist from Stanford University. * Great exercises to build the responsibility muscles and instincts.   ▷   Visit the Red Ink Revival website: https://redinkrevival.com   https://www.redinkrevival.com/blog/categories/podcast   ▷   Connect with Patrick on social media: FB: https://www.facebook.com/redinkrevival FB: https://www.facebook.com/patricknorris IG: https://www.instagram.com/redinkrevival/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/norris.patrick/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-norris-4b733412/   ▷   Subscribe to the podcast, then rate, review, and share it! YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAFa7APH8IY1o-bO9eGPUVQ APPLE PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/id1483717555 SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/5PYiyjQhfrTKTLxnHyEj7E AUDIBLE: https://www.audible.com/pd/Red-Ink-Revival-Leadership-Podcast-Podcast/B08JJPN2W6 PANDORA: https://www.pandora.com/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/PC:24055 LIBSYN: https://redinkrevival.libsyn.com/   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #93 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. In today's episode Patrick is continuing with one of the most important factors for successful leaders, differentiation. Self-differentiation is a human flourishing code cracker. If you have wondered why you can't seem to get the ‘wins' you work so hard for, even after training with conferences, consultants, books, podcasts, and mentors, this episode is for you!   This episode takes us into the following:   * We review Dr. Murray Bowen's Family Systems Theory applied to restoring families. * We share how Edwin Friedman's famous book, A Failure of Nerve, takes Family Systems Theory and applies it to organizations, leaders, and organizational flourishing. * We show the Biblical foundations of identity and self-differentiation. * We begin looking at 5 components to mature in self-differentiation: A-R-T-S-Y. * We see how our identity is matured by awareness, responsibility, and transparent truth. * We learn how our identity was originally formed through interpersonal neurobiological interactions with our family of origin. * We look at how to grow in self-awareness. * We discuss the 3 R's of practicing awareness: 1) Recalling grievance memories, 2) Reflecting on event feelings, and 3) Recognizing associated narratives and meanings. * We present the “Feelings Wheel” as a tool to discover various feeling states. * We walk through how an event turns into an emotional experience, then a looping narrative script, then an emotional meaning around our self. * We see how disputing false interpretations gives new meaning and relieves anxiety.   ▷   Visit our Red Ink Revival website: https://redinkrevival.com   https://www.redinkrevival.com/blog/categories/podcast   ▷   Connect with Patrick on social media: FB: https://www.facebook.com/redinkrevival FB: https://www.facebook.com/patricknorris IG: https://www.instagram.com/redinkrevival/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/norris.patrick/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-norris-4b733412/   ▷   Subscribe to the podcast, then rate, review, and share it! YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAFa7APH8IY1o-bO9eGPUVQ APPLE PODCAST:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/id1483717555 SPOTIFY:  https://open.spotify.com/show/5PYiyjQhfrTKTLxnHyEj7E AUDIBLE:  https://www.audible.com/pd/Red-Ink-Revival-Leadership-Podcast-Podcast/B08JJPN2W6 PANDORA:  https://www.pandora.com/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/PC:24055 LIBSYN: https://redinkrevival.libsyn.com/   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #92 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. In today's episode Patrick shares one of the most important factors for successful leaders: differentiation. Self-differentiation is a leadership code cracker. If you have wondered why you can't seem to get the ‘wins' you work so hard for, even after training with conferences, consultants, books, podcasts, and mentors, this episode is for you!   This episode takes us into the following:   * The underlying reason why leaders feel stressed, burned out, and ready to quit. * Dr. Murray Bowen's Family Systems Theory. * Defining self-differentiation from Family Systems Theory and applying it to everyday scenarios. * How relational systems often drive us and pressure us to conform. * What leading experts say about the power of differentiation from marriage, parenting, medical, addiction recovery, and pastoral leadership perspectives. * Patrick's story of suffering as a leader and what the clarifying insights have meant to his own leadership. * Questions that help us reflect and determine our maturity in self-differentiation. * How the more mature we are at self-differentiation the less anxiety we lead with. * How anxiety in relational/leadership systems leads to weakened trust and weakened team connections. * Biblical references around self-differentiation. * Contrasting enmeshment/fusion to self-differentiation. * Setting the stage for upcoming episodes dealing with maturing and developing skills for healthier, less anxious differentiation.   ▷   Visit our Red Ink Revival website: https://redinkrevival.com   https://www.redinkrevival.com/blog/categories/podcast   ▷   Connect with Patrick on social media: FB: https://www.facebook.com/redinkrevival FB: https://www.facebook.com/patricknorris IG: https://www.instagram.com/redinkrevival/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/norris.patrick/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-norris-4b733412/   ▷   Subscribe to the podcast, then rate, review, and share it! YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAFa7APH8IY1o-bO9eGPUVQ APPLE PODCAST:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/id1483717555 SPOTIFY:  https://open.spotify.com/show/5PYiyjQhfrTKTLxnHyEj7E AUDIBLE:  https://www.audible.com/pd/Red-Ink-Revival-Leadership-Podcast-Podcast/B08JJPN2W6 PANDORA:  https://www.pandora.com/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/PC:24055 LIBSYN: https://redinkrevival.libsyn.com/   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #91 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with pastor, corporate coach, and student development entrepreneur Tom Toney, as we talk through his revolutionary vision to impact children as next generation leaders.   Tom is a Lead Pastor and a Leadership/Organizational Development Trainer. He is the founder of Current Family, a non-profit dedicated to empowering students and families with resources for personal growth and development. He is the creator of KUEST Student Leadership Development Systems, which over the past 20+ years has been used by organizations, schools around the nation, and churches to empower young students in growing their character, self-expectation, and leadership. Tom is a coach to corporate, non-profit, and educational leaders helping them develop strategies for success through the CAB University Leadership and Team Development, a model he created. He is an author, speaker, and DISC certified leadership coach. Today one of his core passions is to train influencers, teachers, and parents to empower children in public schools, homeschools, and church kid ministries.   Our conversation takes us into the following:   * Tom's story of faith. * Why he has a core passion to reach, mentor, and develop children into leaders. * How KUEST is a revolutionary organization that transforms children into leaders. * The five primary values that are key to developing children.   * How the KUEST program and principles have been invited into public schools and impacted children through the power of personal story. * What therapeutic processes are being offered to teachers for understanding a kid's attachment injury. * Helping children in class to be multidimensional humans by understanding they are carrying relational injuries from home. * How academics are the number one priority for schools, but for children, survival is first, belonging is second, and academics are third. * How our present academic systems promote distress denial and hiding emotional pains behind intellect and knowledge. * What KUEST is doing to develop church Children's Pastors to fill churches around the world through online training.   ▷   GUEST INFO: KUEST WEBSITE (Student Ministry Related):  https://www.kuest.org TOM TONEY WEBSITE (Corporate Related): https://www.tomtoney.com EMAIL: TomToney@TomToney.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/kuestleadership/ FB: https://www.facebook.com/KUESTLeadership/   YT: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCerYDXfutFSsF7nqhGrmqKg?view_as=subscriber   ▷   Visit our Red Ink Revival website: https://redinkrevival.com   https://www.redinkrevival.com/blog/categories/podcast   ▷   Connect with Patrick on social media: FB: https://www.facebook.com/redinkrevival FB: https://www.facebook.com/patricknorris IG: https://www.instagram.com/redinkrevival/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/norris.patrick/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-norris-4b733412/   ▷   Subscribe to the podcast, then rate, review, and share it! YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAFa7APH8IY1o-bO9eGPUVQ APPLE PODCAST:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/id1483717555 SPOTIFY:  https://open.spotify.com/show/5PYiyjQhfrTKTLxnHyEj7E AUDIBLE:  https://www.audible.com/pd/Red-Ink-Revival-Leadership-Podcast-Podcast/B08JJPN2W6 PANDORA:  https://www.pandora.com/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/PC:24055 LIBSYN: https://redinkrevival.libsyn.com/   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #90 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with theologian, pastor, seminary president, Dr. Terry Wardle, as we talk through how leadership dysfunction is a symptom of emotional disruption.   Dr. Wardle has served as a Church Planter, Seminary President, Professor, Author, and International Speaker. Today he directs the Institute of Formational Counseling, Healing Care Ministries, and Healing Care Ministries International. During his own season of deep brokenness while leading a great Christian organization, Dr. Wardle met Christ as he never had before. Dr. Wardle leverages this transformational encounter to see similar transformations in thousands of leaders worldwide.   Our conversation takes us into the following:   Terry's faith story from meteoric rise in ministry to sitting in an inpatient psychiatric institution. How his spiritual giftings hid all the pain of an unresolved past. Amazing successes to immediate deep depression and agoraphobia (irrational fear and panic of being in crowds). How professional competencies do not indicate a person's health. At 5 years of age Terry watched his grandfather die less than three feet away from him. The next year he woke up next to his grandmother who had died in her sleep. Anger and achievement give the illusion it can still the storm of fear. Neurobiologically when we are wounded, we are wounded episodically; therefore we must be healed episodically. Why simply reading or memorizing Scripture often fails to change us. Sometimes we use “spiritual pain killers” in hopes of escaping the pain. How dysfunctional behavior is a symptom of emotional disruption. What is true is conceptual. What is real is episodic. How these differences give huge insights. Shame is the basic sense that I don't measure up. An effective ministry demands we have an authentic life. Identity is not about competency but having a clear self-definition. Identity is not what makes you unique. Identity is the foundation on which uniqueness rests. Workaholism in ministry is not a matter of theology; it's a matter of pathology. It's not achievement that changes a life; it's awakening that changes a life. Dysfunctional patterns come from loss, lies, and wounds. How to know you have grieved losses appropriately and sufficiently. The language of emotion is uncensored. The language of cognition is sterilized and guarded. The importance of lamenting and imprecatory Psalms for healing and transformation.   ▷   GUEST INFO: TERRY WARDLE WEBSITE: www.healingcare.org EMAIL:  Info@healingcare.org PODCAST - SLINGSTONES:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/slingstones-podcast/id1165272071 IG:  https://www.instagram.com/terrywardle_healingcare/ FB:  https://www.facebook.com/TerryWardleHCM   If you have any questions you would like us to address in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com .    ▷   Visit our Red Ink Revival website: https://redinkrevival.com   https://www.redinkrevival.com/blog/categories/podcast   ▷   Connect with Patrick on social media: FB: https://www.facebook.com/redinkrevival FB: https://www.facebook.com/patricknorris IG: https://www.instagram.com/redinkrevival/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/norris.patrick/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-norris-4b733412/   ▷   Subscribe to the podcast, then rate, review, and share it! YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAFa7APH8IY1o-bO9eGPUVQ APPLE PODCAST:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/id1483717555 SPOTIFY:  https://open.spotify.com/show/5PYiyjQhfrTKTLxnHyEj7E AUDIBLE:  https://www.audible.com/pd/Red-Ink-Revival-Leadership-Podcast-Podcast/B08JJPN2W6 PANDORA:  https://www.pandora.com/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/PC:24055 LIBSYN: https://redinkrevival.libsyn.com/   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #89 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's episode is a message by Patrick from a series called Activation.   Jesus and the first century leaders spoke often of the transformational power of Activation. What does that mean? When a person simply takes wholistic action upon God's Word and promises with trust, emotion, and expectancy, a supernatural reaction takes place that leaves the person changed. For many Christians there is a wait and see relationship with God's promises. But when we choose, rearrange our lives, surrender our hearts and souls, and act upon God's Word, it will take us from a dead, theoretic religion into a vibrant, energized relationship. The Activation series will help you grasp the vast differences between just reading the Bible as an academic book versus implementing the nuances as a world-changing child of God.    This episode takes us into the following:   * The Bible was never intended to be an empty caricature of God. * The Word of God is filled with God's nature, substance, wisdom, and power. * The Word of God is to change every sphere of life. * God intends that His Word will bring radical transformation in a human life. * God never speaks of humans becoming flawless but rather maturing in transformation. * Surrender refers to activations of faith in God's Word. * Emotional regulation and satisfaction towards happiness has to do with the state of your heart. * Pride is lacking tenderness in surrender to God's thoughts, ways, and standards. * When obedience costs you something it is experienced by God as worship. * The stages of surrender: watching, considering, repenting, reorganizing. * If you don't like your life, check your surrender. * Patrick's story of a lifetime of surrender experiences. * Inner newness of life doesn't happen in memorizing a new Scripture; it happens in surrenders given in each stage of life. * Great faith to speak to mountains requires a growth-pattern of great surrender even in the smallest areas of life. * Identifying the fears that prevent you from surrendering to all of God's ways.   ▷   Visit our Red Ink Revival website: https://redinkrevival.com   https://www.redinkrevival.com/blog/categories/podcast   ▷   Connect with Patrick on social media: FB: https://www.facebook.com/redinkrevival FB: https://www.facebook.com/patricknorris IG: https://www.instagram.com/redinkrevival/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/norris.patrick/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-norris-4b733412/   ▷   Subscribe to the podcast, then rate, review, and share it! YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAFa7APH8IY1o-bO9eGPUVQ APPLE PODCAST:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/id1483717555 SPOTIFY:  https://open.spotify.com/show/5PYiyjQhfrTKTLxnHyEj7E AUDIBLE:  https://www.audible.com/pd/Red-Ink-Revival-Leadership-Podcast-Podcast/B08JJPN2W6 PANDORA:  https://www.pandora.com/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/PC:24055 LIBSYN: https://redinkrevival.libsyn.com/   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #88 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with theologian, philosopher, and apologist Dr. Stan Wallace.   Dr. Wallace is the President and CEO of Global Scholars, an organization that equips Christian professors to serve Christ in secular universities worldwide. He has nearly 200 articles published in professional and ministry journals on engaging the mind and culture. He is co-host of the Thinking Christianly podcast with philosopher and theologian J.P. Moreland, a must listen for everyone desiring to have a “thinking” faith. He is also host of the College Faith podcast which explores the intersection of Christian conviction and higher education.   Our conversation takes us into the following:   * Stan's story of faith in Christ from New Age to atheism to a meaningful faith in Christ. * Reflecting on spiritual mentorship and interactions with philosophers Dr. Dallas Willard and Dr. J.P. Moreland. * Stan's passion and calling to scholars and professors in secular universities. * Navigating the secular culture and hot topics while holding faith and evangelism. * What Global Scholars is and how Stan leads the organization. * The special podcasts Stan hosts: College Faith and Thinking Christianly. * Stan's amazing reflections of a famous open debate he hosted between Christian Dr. William Lane Craig and atheist Antony Flew. * Clarifying and defining the soul, heart, spirit, and mind, both theologically and philosophically. * How understanding the soul impacts the way we feel, connect, and experience life. * How to appropriately metabolize theological and philosophical ideas that Aristotle and Plato propagated. * The important differences between the mind and the brain. * How the different parts of the brain and their functions interact with the immaterial soul. * Where the new birth (salvation) takes place within the soul. * A definition and understanding of what it means to become like Christ in our soul's capacities. * What the heart is, and how it is the energy source for healthy and unhealthy behavior. * How religious presuppositions can hinder transformation and the process of sanctification. * What therapy does in wholistic soulish alignment to help a person live out transformation.   ▷   GUEST INFO: STAN WALLACE WEBSITE: https://www.stanwallace.org GLOBAL SCHOLARS WEBSITE: https://www.global-scholars.org COLLEGE FAITH WEBSITE AND PODCAST: https://www.collegefaith.net THINKING CHRISTIANLY WEBSITE AND PODCAST:  https://www.thinkingchristianly.org   ▷   Visit our Red Ink Revival website: https://redinkrevival.com   https://www.redinkrevival.com/blog/categories/podcast   ▷   Connect with Patrick on social media: FB: https://www.facebook.com/redinkrevival FB: https://www.facebook.com/patricknorris IG: https://www.instagram.com/redinkrevival/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/norris.patrick/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-norris-4b733412/   ▷   Subscribe to the podcast, then rate, review, and share it! YOUTUBE:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAFa7APH8IY1o-bO9eGPUVQ APPLE PODCAST:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/id1483717555 SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/5PYiyjQhfrTKTLxnHyEj7E AUDIBLE:  https://www.audible.com/pd/Red-Ink-Revival-Leadership-Podcast-Podcast/B08JJPN2W6 PANDORA:  https://www.pandora.com/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/PC:24055 LIBSYN: https://redinkrevival.libsyn.com/   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #87 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with Pastor Chris Hodges of Church of the Highlands in Birmingham, Alabama. We talk through Chris' two episodes of depression and how he came out of his caves.   Pastor Chris Hodges is the founding and senior pastor of Church of the Highlands. Since it began in 2001, it has grown to have 20 satellite campuses across the state of Alabama, with over 60,000 members. Pastor Chris has a deep passion for developing leaders and planting life-giving churches. He co-founded Association of Related Churches (ARC) in 2001, which has launched hundreds of churches across the United States. He also founded Grow, specializing in training and resourcing pastors and churches to help them break barriers and reach their growth potential. Pastor Chris is also the founder and Chancellor of Highlands College, a ministry training school that trains and launches students into full-time ministry careers.   Pastor Chris speaks at conferences worldwide and is a New York Times Bestselling Author, the latest being our topic today, Out of the Cave: Stepping into the Light When Depression Darkens What You See. He is married to Tammy, and together they have five children.   Our podcast conversation takes us into the following:   * Why Pastor Chris wrote Out of the Cave. * His battle with two significant episodes of depression. * Why pastors often struggle with anxiety and depression. * The necessity of regularly honoring the sabbath. * What the story of Elijah tells us about recovery. * The importance of resting and eating when emotions are extreme. * How a God encounter can change our perspective. * Addressing the stories we tell ourselves. * A life-giving vision is key to hotwire us out of emotional distress. * What Viktor Frankl learned in Lego therapy to help Holocaust victims. * The importance of a circle of friends to hold you in times of struggle.   ▷   GUEST INFO: WEBSITE:  https://www.churchofthehighlands.com/ FB CHURCH:  https://www.facebook.com/highlands IG:  @pastorchrishodges   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   ▷   Visit our Red Ink Revival website: https://redinkrevival.com   https://www.redinkrevival.com/blog/categories/podcast   ▷   Connect with Patrick on social media: FB:  https://www.facebook.com/redinkrevival FB: https://www.facebook.com/patricknorris IG: https://www.instagram.com/redinkrevival/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/norris.patrick/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-norris-4b733412   ▷   Subscribe to the podcast, then rate, review, and share it! Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAFa7APH8IY1o-bO9eGPUVQ Apple Podcast:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/id1483717555 Spotify:  https://open.spotify.com/show/5PYiyjQhfrTKTLxnHyEj7E Audible:  https://www.audible.com/pd/Red-Ink-Revival-Leadership-Podcast-Podcast/B08JJPN2W6 Pandora:  https://www.pandora.com/podcast/red-ink-revival-leadership-podcast/PC:24055 Libsyn:  https://redinkrevival.libsyn.com/   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #86 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with leadership and organizational development coach Philip Engle, as we talk through how to develop your organization and those you lead.   Philip is a senior coach for FOCUS 412, an organization that partners with churches to help them grow both numerically and in health. He has been actively leading in the church for the last 13 years, including being as a campus pastor at Elevation Church in Charlotte, North Carolina, and roles at Passion City Church in Atlanta, Georgia. In Philip's time at Elevation, he met and led with Phil Klein, a Harvard Business School graduate and C-Suite Executive at Time Warner and AT&T. When Phil launched FOCUS 412, Philip was immediately made a senior coach.   Our podcast conversation takes us into the following:   * Philip's story of faith and career moves that led him to FOCUS 412. * What he learned from leading at Elevation and Passion City. * The power of creating team and organizational culture. * Holding teammates “accountable for” is about loving them well in their pursuit of growth. * Emotional anxieties that prevent leaders from speaking accountability into teammates. * The differences between being goal oriented and relationship oriented. * How leading with an open hand generates loyalty. * The difference between content leaders and relational leaders. * How great leaders must grow in both competency and emotional wholeness. * How culture must have specific organizational “sounds”. * How leadership principles are the same for both organizations and families. * How clarity brings organizational and team security, and a lack of clarity brings anxiety. * The importance of fighting for organizational simplicity, as we are always tempted towards complexity. * Why church leadership structures and systems are Biblical Christianity, rather than secular corporate ideologies. * How corporate principles go off rails when the organization's relationships are not led with healthy, emotional intelligence. * How leadership pipelines work and why they are so important for future growth.   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com.   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #85 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with psychologist Dr. Todd Bowman and therapist Rick Presley as we talk through how to deal with difficult people.   Dr. Bowman is the Associate Professor of Counseling at Indiana Wesleyan University, an Adjunct Professor for Human Sexuality at Nazarene Theological Seminary, an Adjunct Professor of the Intro to Psychology at Nazarene Bible College, and an evaluating psychologist for assessing seminary applicants for seminaries.   Rick Presley is a licensed marriage and family therapist. His expertise and certifications include being a sexual addiction professional, EMDR provider, and partner betrayal clinician. He is an experienced treatment provider in grief, loss, and trauma recovery.   Our conversation takes us into the following:   * The “difficult people characteristics” that therapists and pastors experience. * How our bodies signal us of other people's personality disorders. * How to handle people taking advantage of our empathy. * The difference between a person that presents as a “jerk” and one with a personality disorder. * The importance of not weaponizing against others by transposing disorder-labels on them. * The power of self-awareness and self-reflection. * What narcissistic personality disorder is and how it is different from narcissistic tendencies. * How to work with someone who is on the narcissistic continuum. * How borderline personality disorders show up and ways to handle them. * When we question whether we also present personality fractures or disorders. * The reality of living in a modern culture that is bifurcated in extremes. * The necessity of differentiation and boundaries. * The complexity of multiple relationships, such as being someone's pastor, boss, and counselor.   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com.   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #84 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with Dr. Juli Slattery.   Dr. Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, speaker, and the president/co-founder of Authentic Intimacy. She earned her college degree at Wheaton College, an MA in psychology from Biola University, and an MS and a Doctorate degree in Clinical Psychology from Florida Institute of Technology. Dr. Slattery served at Focus on the Family writing, teaching, and co-hosting the Focus on the Family Broadcast. She left Focus on the Family to start Authentic Intimacy, a ministry devoted to reclaiming God's design for sexuality. Dr. Slattery launched SexualDiscipleship.com, a platform designed to help Christian leaders navigate sexual issues and questions with gospel-centered truth. She is the author of ten books and host of the weekly podcast “Java with Juli.” Juli and her husband Mike are the parents of 3 sons; they live in Akron, Ohio.   Our conversation takes us to…   * How Juli came to faith in Christ. * Why she became a clinical psychologist. * Her heart to redeem God's design for sexuality. * Managing conversations around gender, sexuality, pronouns, orientations, and identities. * What the purpose of sex actually is. * How when we get the purpose of sex wrong, we get so many other things wrong as well. * How sex and sexuality reveal deeper things within our hearts and souls. * The importance of remaining sex positive while pursuing sexual integrity. * What sin is and the broader understanding of sin in the context of sexuality. * Whether LGBTQ+ a “sin” matter, and how to best approach the topic in relationships. * How to navigate marriages with sexual incongruence. * Where to find help if there is sexual conflict in marriage.   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com.   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #83 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with John Grunewald.   John and his wife Michelle are the founders of Grunewald Ministries, a global missions organization that establishes Bible colleges (280 campuses), trains church planters, grows next generation leaders, and translates Bible teaching books (34 language zones). John has served as church planter, senior pastor, Bible college founder, and pastor to pastors.   Today we talk about how John went from atheist/agnostic to faith in Christ to a global missionary and leader of leaders. Our conversation takes us to:   * How John came to faith in Christ. * What simple conversations from people sharing their faith can do. * His struggle with public speaking having an introverted personality. * John's first pastoral assignment. * The difference between a calling and an assignment. * His story of moving to Germany to start a Bible college. * The power of relationships in building towards an assignment. * The importance of emotional health in leading ministries and in all spheres of life. * Why delegation is so important. * How leadership is more than dispensing content, it is relational investments towards development. * Renaming an “organizational chart” to a “discipleship chart.”   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com.   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #82 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. In today's episode I will be going solo, sharing a personal point of celebration, the vision of Red Ink Revival, and most of all, how you can engage the value proposition we offer.   Today I share the following:   * How Red Ink Revival exists to create a leadership revival through the heart, soul, and brain of Christian leaders. * What Red, Ink, and Revival means to us. * How Red Ink Revival is targeting pastors, church staff, marketplace leaders, and church attenders. * The transition of my role from senior pastor to full time Red Ink Revival therapeutic coach and CEO. * The background of Red Ink Revival and why it is my passion. * Statistics of Pastors in depression, workaholism, addictions, and more. * The Red Ink Revival Story Model. * Attachment injury and development. * Core beliefs and unconscious identity markers. * Body and emotion management, or affect regulation. * The Red Ink Platform of pastor roundtables, monthly zooms, weekly process groups, and one-on-one coaching. * The development of Red Ink University. * Prophetic words related to Red Ink Revival's future. * Opportunities for free 30-minute consultations for pastors and paid church staff.   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com.   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #81 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with Drew Boa. Drew is the Founder & Head Coach of Husband Material, a therapeutic ministry helping Christian men achieve freedom from porn and heal all kinds of sexual brokenness. Drew has a Master's in Christian Formation from Wheaton College, is a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (through the International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals), and is author of the book Redeemed Sexuality.    Today we talk about Husband Material: Becoming Sexually Healthy and Happy. Our conversation takes us into the following:   * Drew's faith story and how he became a recovery coach. * The most common sexual struggles he witnesses in his clients. * The typical mapping of why people struggle with sexual drivers. * Why the “purity culture” gets it wrong. * How sexual health begins with addressing our attachment wounds. * The differences between behavior management and healing the root causes. * How our “fetishes” and preferences reveal our deeper longings for connection. * The commonalities in working with pre-teens and teens in unwanted sexual drivers. * What parents can do to parent pre-teens and teens through this cultural flooding. * How “spiritual bypass” creates more difficulties. * The better way of measuring freedom from pornography and other unwanted behaviors. * What pastors and church leaders can do to help men address their sexual issues.   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com.   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #80 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with Scott Cone, the founder of Sexcessful Men, a recovery coaching practice that helps Christian men who struggle with pornography, childhood sexual abuse, unwanted same-sex attraction, and other compulsive sexual behaviors.   Today we talk about unwanted sexual drivers. Our conversation takes us into the following:   * Scott's faith story and how he became a recovery coach. * Attachment styles as a foundation for sexual, financial, and “vision” forces. * What trauma is and how it impacts us emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. * How the arousal template is a battery of energy that drives our sexual preferences. * The commonalities between our sexual forces and our ambitions, money management habits, and more. * The Scriptural basis for these sexual energy pockets that originated in broken-heartedness. * How moments of distress in our present ignite unmanageable arousal from our traumatic past. * The similarities between our past traumas and our present searches for meeting our sexual needs (fetishes, scenarios, etc.). * How every “trigger tells a story” is worthy of being explored, rather than just repressed. * The power of fantasy exploration and understanding what fantasy is attempting to serve. * How pastors & leaders can lead themselves, their families, and their congregations better by exploring their own stories of sexual brokenness.   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com.   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #79 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast.    Today's conversation is with Adam Young. Adam is a licensed Clinical Social Worker with Master's Degrees in both Social Work and Divinity. He is a certified colleague of The Allender Center, co-founded by renowned psychologist Dr. Dan Allender and our previous Red Ink Revival guest therapist Cathy Loerzel. Dr. Allender and his trained clinicians–including Adam Young–are the foremost thinkers on Story Work. Adam is a certified EMDR clinician, which addresses trauma and brain function. He has also served as a pastor in a local church. Adam's podcast, The Place We Find Ourselves, is a favorite. Adam's practice is in Fort Collins, Colorado.   Today Adam and I talk about attachments, and how they organize all of our relationships including our leadership connections.   Our conversation includes the following:   * Adam's faith story and how he became a therapist. * Why historical story work is so important for people–especially pastors and leaders–to explore. * What an attachment style is, the four kinds of attachments, and how our brains evolved with our own style. * How pastors and leaders are better leaders when they know the truth behind their own stories and attachment style. * What Scripture has to offer us to compel us to dig into attachments. * How to “earn” a secure attachment style. * How early childhood development of the brain and attachment has informed our instincts in relating with romantic partners, friends, and even God. * How spiritual disciplines and exercises are experienced differently based on individual attachment styles. * How repentance looks different for those with different attachment styles. * How pastoral preaching is styled after the pastor's own attachment style. * How attachment predisposes us to emotional flooding and dysregulation. * How knowing the truth of our stories in the context of our family of origin is critical to repentance and healing.   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.    Visit our website: redinkrevival.com.   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #78 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with Cathy Loerzel.   Cathy is an amazing therapist and a premier trainer of leaders in utilizing therapies that foster redemption and healing by helping people explore their historical stories. Her professional career includes both a political and a business background. She has served in the Federal Government on Capitol Hill, worked with Price Waterhouse Cooper and IBM in process and change management, and served at The Seattle School in a variety of positions including organizational development, event planning, and donor relations. Cathy is the co-founder of The Allender Center, and is growing its mission. The Allender Center is a training and transformation hub for pastors, therapists, lay counselors, and community leaders.   Today we talk about Story Work from her upcoming book release with renowned psychologist Dr. Dan Allender called Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling. In my opinion, Cathy and Dr. Allender–along with The Allender Center colleagues–are the foremost thinkers regarding how your storied history ends up revealing the mysteries of undesirable emotional experiencing and behavior in the present.   Our conversation takes us into the following:   * Cathy's faith story and how she became a therapist. * Why historical story work is so important for people to explore. * Why pastors and leaders must give themselves to understanding the nuances in their stories. * How leadership is based in relationships, and healthy relationships can only be experienced through healing the heart. * What Scripture has to offer to compel us to dig into the narratives in our story. * What trauma has done to our ability to relate healthfully. * How even the best family of origin experiences still leave us with wounds and the need for repair. * How healing actually happens. * The part of our story that requires acknowledgement of intentionality on the part of those who hurt us. * The power of self-compassion and community. * Upcoming story work opportunities with Cathy and Dr. Allender.   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com .    Visit our website: redinkrevival.com.   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #77 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with psychologist Dr. Todd Bowman and therapist Rick Presley as we talk through how to lead from an emotionally healthy position while navigating the cultural storms that challenge your very identity.   Dr. Bowman is the Associate Professor of Counseling at Indiana Wesleyan University. He is an Adjunct Professor for Human Sexuality at Nazarene Theological Seminary. He is an Adjunct Professor of the Intro to Psychology at Nazarene Bible College. He also is an evaluating psychologist for assessing applicants for seminaries.   Rick Presley is a licensed marriage and family therapist. His expertise and certifications include being a sexual addiction professional, an EMDR provider, and a partner betrayal clinician. He is an experienced treatment provider in grief, loss, and trauma recovery.   Our conversation takes us into the following:   * Cultural hot topics such as deconstructionism, politics, racial tensions, and LGBTQ+. * What to do when simple personal beliefs are labeled as harmful to someone else in the culture. * How a lack of differentiation leads us to anger, rage, and depression. * How to hang on to yourself as a pastor, a leader, and an individual while others are pressuring you to conform to their needs. * The differences between separation and individuation. * How other people's emotions compel us to cave and adapt, making us at risk of losing our individuation. * What differentiation is and how it can be used as a model of emotional maturity. * How childhood wounds, griefs, and trauma profiles predisposes people to fear their ideologies being disagreed with. * Committing to objective truth in Scripture with the emotional intolerance of those who want to be accepted as is. * When the role and job description of the pastor is being defined in the culture, rather than Scripture. * Is a pastor supposed to be helicoptering in every attender's life? * Is a pastor supposed to be an expert on every cultural topic? * Is it a pastor's responsibility to make sure people aren't “over-serving,” in fear of being called an “abusive pastor”? * Managing double-binds, when both options to move forward are undesirable and have risks and costs built into them. * What it means to have a commitment to reality at all costs. * Caring for yourself so you can more effectively care for your church.   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com.   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #76 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with Pastors Jeff Jones and Dean Hawk as we talk through leading in a culture gone mad.   Our conversation takes us into the following:   * Jeff & Dean's faith stories and how they entered pastoral ministry. * Thinking through the unique challenges facing pastors and leaders today. * How ministry is different in our culture today than just ten years ago. * Cultural hot topics including deconstructionism, politics, racial tensions, and LGBTQ+. * Reconsidering the real job description of pastors and leaders. * Avoiding the pressures of fitting into the boxes of other people's expectations of pastors and leaders. * What it means to “preach the gospel” without fueling the culture wars. * How to stay healthy emotionally without having to fix the cultural hot topics. * What it means to correct, rebuke, and love the people we lead. * Assessing our responsibility for people who choose to leave our leadership care. * How engaging your own story will help you lead from an emotional understanding. * How differentiation and boundaries are keys to healthy leadership. * Why empowerment and mobilization are necessary when the culture is bearing down on you.   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.    Jeff Jones is the Founding and Senior Pastor of Valley Family Church in Kalamazoo, MI (valleyfamilychurch.org). Jeff has a demonstrated track record of working in church leadership and community outreach. He is skilled in Nonprofit Organizations, Theology, and Capital Campaigns Budgeting, with an emphasis on Christian Discipleship. He is dedicated to his wife, his family, the local community, and social services. He is a graduate of Spring Arbor University and Rhema Bible Training College, and has a master's degree in Biblical Studies from Liberty University.   Dean Hawk is the Founding and Senior Pastor of Rock Family Church in Colorado Springs, CO (rockfamilychurch.com). Dean has served in full-time ministry since 1981. Prior to starting the church in 2004, he served as a Youth and Associate Pastor in three different churches. Along with his current pastoral duties, Dean is also an adjunct professor at Charis Bible College in Woodland Park, CO. Dean's leadership podcast and other resources for pastors can be found at deanhawk.com.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #75 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with Tony Cooke, a tenured church leader, former Bible College Dean, author, and mentor to church leaders around the world. Our conversation today is about the controversial topic within Christianity of marriage, divorce, and remarriage.   The conversation takes us into the following topics:   * Why divorce is so polarizing. * The impact of divorce on couples, kids, and society. * Carrying the painful stigma of divorce. * Did Jesus and Paul disagree about exceptions for divorce? * Jesus and the Law of Moses. * Paul and the Law of Love. * 3 categories of people: Jews, Gentiles, and the Church. * Navigating the texts of Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians 7 regarding divorce. * Is it “sin” to get divorced? Is it an “unforgivable sin”? * Does divorce disqualify someone from ministry leadership? * Encouragement to those who have been divorced.   RESOURCES:   Audio Teaching Series: Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage – Tony Cooke: https://tonycooke.org/product/marriage-divorce-remarriage-1   Book: Remarriage and God's Renewing Grace – Dwight Hervey Small: https://www.amazon.com/Remarriage-Gods-Renewing-Grace-Christians/dp/0801082641   Book: … And Marries Another – Craig Keener: https://www.amazon.com/Marries-Another-Remarriage-Teaching-Testament/dp/0801046742   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!    Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #74 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's special Father's Day edition is a conversation with the General Manager of the Kansas City Royals major league baseball club.   Dayton is considered by many to be the leadership mastermind of the Kansas City Royals' two appearances in the World Series in 2014 and 2015, winning the Championship in 2015. Under his leadership, since 2011, no MLB club has earned more Gold Gloves. The Royals' 21 All-Star selections since 2013 are tied with the Yankees for the most in the American League, which is crazy success for a small-town market. Dayton has been named to the Kansas Baseball Hall of Fame. He was the Kansan of the Year in 2014, and the Executive of the Year by Major League Baseball in 2014 and 2015. Dayton is known as an outspoken Christian, openly sharing the personal impact of his relationship with Christ.   Our conversation takes us into the following:   * What the Kansas City Royals 2015 World Series Championship meant to him. * How he handles criticism by friends and at large. * The dangers of baseball becoming a “god” to him. * The most difficult part of being a major league baseball executive. * The most challenging thing about marriage. * How he nurtures his marriage to keep it strong as the greatest gift to his children. * How selfishness is when everything else is at its highest level of dysfunction. * What a personal legacy is made of. * Dayton's relationship with his own Dad. * His favorite thing about being married. * The most difficult things about being a Dad to his own children. * What his kids do that make him feel especially loved. * The priority of church attendance with family, even on game days. * How the passions of the parents will become the priorities of the children. * How the “dark years” with the Royals were parented with his kids, considering public criticisms of their Dad. * The power of forgiveness to mitigate the stress of outside criticisms. * How he uses candor and honesty to lead well and foster trust. * How he would rather be persecuted for who he is than praised for who he is not. * Things that his Dad did and said that shaped him. * Dayton's own journey of faith, spiritual life, and inner world. * His spiritual devotional time with Jesus. * His childhood love for baseball with a grandma reading box scores together. * The steps in his career to becoming an executive in major league baseball. * The most difficult parts of being a professional athlete. * Dayton's passion for his non-profit work.   If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #73 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with Dr. Todd Bowman as we talk through the theology, philosophy, neurobiology of depression. Depression plagues 40 million adults in the US, with 70% of pastors reporting that they have an ongoing struggle with it. So, what is depression? How does it affect so many of us? What can be done about it once it is known? This is a must watch/listen for everyone, especially pastors and church leaders to both understand their own struggles with depression, and how to lead someone else who struggles.   Dr. Bowman is the Associate Professor of Counseling at Indiana Wesleyan University. He is an Adjunct Professor for Human Sexuality at Nazarene Theological Seminary. He is an Adjunct Professor of the Intro to Psychology at Nazarene Bible College. He also is an assessing psychologist for evaluating seminary applicants for ministry training.   Our conversation takes us into the following:   The difference in an emotional disappointment, moderate depression, and clinical depression Our present culture that struggles to acknowledge sadness The painful symptoms and definitions on the spectrum of depression Severe depression can happen in a moment and seemingly come out of nowhere The inheritable factors that can predispose us to depression When medication is necessary Dr. Jordan Peterson's depression struggle triggered by diet Epigenetics and susceptibility to depression Diet, sleep, and exercise as ways to mitigate the struggle How dramatic extremes and the ensuing arousal has emotional consequences Identifying emotionally as a victim, powerless to move forward, shapes depressive episodes Words that we use that unknowingly point to victimhood and powerlessness Abdication of responsibility as a precursor to mild depression Cognitive behavioral therapy and tools that help discover the roots of mild depression How engaging our historical story will help expose the roots that drive us What anxiety, grief and anger have to do with depression The difference in anger and rage How depression can show up as irritability or avoidance The powerful tools of boundaries The brain's victimization circuits versus the empowerment circuits The drama triangle as a way to understand how depression grips us (1:04:00) Our relationship roles of victim, persecutor and rescuer set us up for emotional dysregulation The debilitating nature of a double bind – deciding between two undesirable options The pastor and church leader dilemma around holding boundaries with people and why depression is so common How worship, prayer and faith cannot overcome our choice to stay in the drama triangle as a victim The importance of having co-regulating relationships like therapists, colleagues, or process friendships Depression grows in the soil of regrets and missed opportunities How gratitude can shift emotional states and re-encode the memories for positivity Expressive writing as a tool to help navigate through emotional difficulties Inviting Jesus to experience the emotional challenges with us as an empathetic partner How unprocessed trauma gives birth to anxiety, rage, and depression An overview of tools to recover from depression and move to peace and joy   If you have any questions you would like us to address in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com .    Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #72 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today's conversation is with Dr. J.P. Moreland as we talk through the theology, philosophy, neurobiology, and recovery of anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. J.P. battled debilitating bouts of anxiety and depression. But then, by using his research skills and a felt assignment from God, he has become emotionally integrated and healthy for the past 8 years. His trainings have been put into one of his newest books, Finding Quiet: My Story of Overcoming Anxiety and the Practices that Brought Peace. This episode is a must listen for pastors and church leaders to understand their own struggles with emotional dysregulation, as well as to minister to others. Dr. Moreland is an accomplished philosopher, theologian, and Christian apologist. He is the Distinguished Professor of Philosophy at Talbot School of Theology, Biola University. Thebestschools.org named him in the Top 50 Most Influential Living Philosophers. His mentors include Bill Bright, Howard Hendricks, and Dallas Willard. J.P. has pastored & co-planted 3 different churches and has served on staff at Campus Crusade for Christ. He has publicly debated famous philosophers on the existence of God, as well as hosted debates on hundreds of college campuses around the country. He is the author of numerous books on faith, philosophy, and apologetics. Our conversation takes us into the following: *J.P.'s journey of personal faith in Christ. * How he became one of the world's leading philosophers. * Merging intellectual Christianity with contemporary miracle ministry. * How the soul is deeply entwined with the body. * J.P.'s personal story of experiencing anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. * The possibility of medication and the need for therapeutic counseling to help manage anxiety. * The set of practices that J.P. learned and applied to return to wholeness. * The Christian's necessary understanding of psychiatry, psychology, and neuroscience. * Defining the differences in the soul, mind, spirit, heart, and body. * How memories occur in the soul but are stored in the neurons of the brain. * The way you habitually talk to yourself with truth to rewire your brain for character, peace, and joy. * How “sin” as a noun (Romans 6) and “flesh” (Greek - sarx) are principles in our bodies, and are referencing the biological impact of trauma, grief, and loss that compels future behaviors. * The anxiety recovery and mental exercises called “The 4-Step Solution.” * Distortion patterns in anxiety. * The power of relabeling, reframing, refocusing, and revaluing to rewire the brain. * How radical self-acceptance and self-compassion impact the brain's processing of anxiety. Finding Quiet: My Story of Overcoming Anxiety and the Practices that Brought Peace: https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Quiet-Overcoming-Anxiety-Practices/dp/031059720X JPMoreland.com – Christianity and Politics (article): https://www.jpmoreland.com/2020/10/11/why-most-evangelical-christians-are-political-conservatives/ If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com. Visit our website: redinkrevival.com Please rate, review, share, and subscribe! Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #71 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation with Rick and Christine Presley continues last week’s episode on all things “betrayal”, with a primary focus on the betrayal  of a sexually unfaithful spouse. This is a must listen for pastors and church leaders to effectively position betrayed congregants for healthy recovery from sexual betrayal.   Rick and Christine are therapists and experts in the field of addiction and partner betrayal. They are licensed marriage and family therapists, and experienced treatment providers in grief, loss, and trauma recovery. Their certifications as certified sexual addiction professionals, EMDR providers, and partner betrayal clinicians make them extraordinary voices to help people navigate this turbulent topic.   Our conversation includes:   * How spouses only have power over their own life, not their partners choices and behaviors. * How anger is a sign of a boundary that needs to be placed. * How a partner must go through a grieving process, acknowledging that they cannot control the betraying partner. * How envy and strife are about attempts to control another person’s choices, opening the door to confusion and every evil work. * What differentiation is and how it is a necessary precursor to establishing healthy boundaries. * The priorities of attunement and differentiation for every healthy human being. * How a betrayed partner instinctively becomes more differentiated in the process of therapeutic healing. * Thoughts for a betrayed partner who wants to live in boundaries when they don’t like the options that the consequences offer. * Learning to ask, “What do I need?” and “What do I want?” * How boundaries are for “me” and requests are for “we.” * How betrayed partners can deal with the fears that a boundary will compel worst case scenarios with the betrayer.   * The terrible scenarios of obligatory sex in fear they will lose the betrayer. * Empowerment circuits versus victim circuits of a betrayed partner’s brain. * How to process the inner narratives, self-blame, and “no closure” emotions when a betrayer doesn’t want repair. * How healthy therapeutic recovery from addiction can prepare a couple for a greater marriage than before the betrayal. * How without truth, safety cannot be provided, and therefore trust can’t be rebuilt. * How the myth of “Divorce is not an option” means you are living as a victim. * How empowerment can only happen when partners choose to restore and resurrect the marriage. * How resentment grows in the ground of feeling, “I have no other options but to stay.” * How the betraying partner must give a full disclosure, or they eliminate the possibility for true intimacy with their spouse. * How the secrecy of infidelity and porn are not to be minimized in the impact on the partner.   If you have any questions you would like addressed in future episodes, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just have feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com .    Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #70 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Rick and Christine Presley on all things “betrayal”, with a primary focus on the betrayal of a sexually unfaithful spouse. This is a must listen for pastors and church leaders to effectively position betrayed congregants for healthy recovery from sexual betrayal.   Rick and Christine are therapists and experts in the field of addiction and partner betrayal. They are licensed marriage and family therapists and experienced treatment providers in grief, loss, and trauma recovery. Their certifications as certified sexual addiction professionals, EMDR providers, and partner betrayal clinicians make them extraordinary voices to help people navigate this turbulent topic.   Our conversation takes us into the following:   * The primary conversation pieces of betrayal in marriage. * What happens when a partner discovers sexual betrayal. * The power of the gap between what has been believed as reality and the discovery of a betrayal. * What betrayed partners experience psychologically, emotionally, and mentally. * How 20% of partners have experienced marital rape. * How trauma from betrayal changes a victim’s personality. * How being unaware of negative cognitions will keep a victim from healing. * How 60% of betrayed partners have suicidal thoughts and just want emotional disruptions to stop. * How codependency shows up in church systems and is projected onto a betrayed partner. * Rick’s former raging sexual addiction and Christine’s experience of partner betrayal. * How betrayal trauma can keep you stuck in anger and anxiety cycles. * Immune system and other biological reactions that are from chronic anxieties specific to betrayal. * How betrayal trauma multiplies features of personality disorders, but often the disorders are misdiagnosed after betrayal. * Trusting your own spousal intuition and signaling. * How negative self-talk contributes to increasing the trauma experiences. * How betraying partners often abuse through gaslighting. * Self-abandonment versus self-compassion and radical acceptance. * The power of therapeutic validation. * How boundaries are empowering for growth and healing, grounded in reaffirmed values. * Rebuilding the sense of connection and healthy attachment with all relationships. * Healthy versus unhealthy therapeutic groups for betrayed partners. * Managing groups where a hyper-dramatic person dominates the group.   If you have any questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just have feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at redinkrevival@gmail.com .    Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #69 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, a New York Times Best Selling Author and leading professional expert in child development and parenting. Our conversation takes us into the following topics:   Tina’s backstory of becoming a professional parenting expert Attachment science and how attachment patterns develop our relationship templates for life Science’s best predictor of how well our children will turn out Defining the four attachment patterns that form how we connect in relationships The “4 Ss” that build secure attachment (safe, seen soothed and secure) Parenting unpredictability and its impact on a child’s brain The power of consistent relationship repairs in creating a child’s window of tolerance The importance of engaging our own story to know why kids can push our trigger buttons  What happens in a child’s emotional circuits when parents offer empathy and connection What the answer is in parenting a child when you don’t know what to do Fears that “I might be screwing my kids up.” How our own parenting shame spiral will compel future “flip my lid” cycles The most attuned parents will get parenting connections wrong about 70% of the time It’s never too late to repair past relationship ruptures even though the child is now an adult How to make sense of and manage parent guilt or mom guilt. Half of who our kids become is because of genetics, and the other half is because of experience and epigenetics Parents that ruminate around regrets do so because of roots in their own story and unprocessed anxieties How to be at peace from regrets that we didn’t raise our kids in church How the brain processes circuits for feeling stuck/regret versus circuits of empowerment Do we need to forgive ourselves for parenting mistakes? Using rituals and symbols to let go of the guilt and shame of parenting failures. Our history is not our destiny. How understanding our own parent’s backstories will compel compassion from us today Managing the shame and what to do when we have feelings of “not liking” or even “being disgusted” with our kids. A personal word to mothers for Mother’s Day love and encouragement   Dr. Tina Payne Bryson is the author of the Bottom Line for Baby and co-author (with Dan Siegel) of two New York Times Best Sellers—The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline—each of which has been translated into over fifty languages, as well as The Yes Brain and The Power of Showing Up. She is the Founder and Executive Director of The Center for Connection, a multidisciplinary clinical practice in Southern California. Dr. Bryson keynotes conferences and conducts workshops for parents, educators, and clinicians all over the world, and she frequently consults with schools, businesses, and other organizations.  An LCSW, Tina is a graduate of Baylor University with a Ph.D. from USC.  The most important part of her bio, she says, is that she’s a mom to her three boys. You can learn more about Dr. Bryson at TinaBryson.com.  A MESSAGE FROM TINA PAYNE BRYSON, PH.D.:   Thanks for joining us for our podcast conversation. I hope you gained new insights and applications for relating to the children you care about. If you're interested in learning more, or you'd like to receive my newsletter and social-media blasts, please click the links below.    You can also read articles, listen to podcasts, and watch video blogs about kids and parenting at my website, TinaBryson.com.   Warmly,   Tina   To subscribe to my newsletter, click here.   Follow me on social media: Facebook | Twitter | Instagram   Check out my 2021 online parenting group (replays of past sessions available).   Listen to my limited-series podcast with pediatrician Dr. Phil Boucher, Baby in the House   Watch a trailer for my workshop with Dr. Dan Siegel, MD, based on our latest book, The Power of Showing Up.   For a book and other recommendations, click here.   Learn more about my books:     The Bottom Line for Baby - or click here to purchase on Amazon   The Whole-Brain Child - or click here to purchase on Amazon   No-Drama Discipline - or click here to purchase on Amazon   The Yes Brain - or click here to purchase on Amazon ·   The Power of Showing Up - or click here to purchase on Amazon   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #68 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Tony Cooke, a tenured church leader, former Bible College Dean, author, and mentor to church leaders around the world. Our conversation on Relationship Oriented Leadership takes us into the following topics:   * Leadership begins with relationships. * Biblical characters and their dysfunctional relationships. * Sanctification happens in the fires of relationships. * The Apostle Paul’s broken relationship profile. * The elements and potholes of empowering others. * Gamaliel’s mentorship of the Apostle Paul. * Barnabas’ friendship and encouragements with Paul * John Mark’s challenges and rifts with Paul. * Content leaders versus relational leaders. * Barnabas’ redemption and nurture of John Mark. * Ten thousand teachers but only a few fathers. * A leader’s anxiety versus vulnerability and holding others accountable. * The balance between task and relationship orientation as leaders. * The beauty of nurturing and challenging those we lead. * Our heart bleeds when people reject or transition out of our leadership. * The healthy side of relationship anger versus shutting down. * Observing team members’ emotions versus wrestling over the relational data. * Working on relationships without the right tools is very difficult. * Forgiveness, releasing debts, and understanding how to restore to wholeness. * Developing differentiation in relationships to nurture our own identity. * Jesus removed himself from hostile situations by holding healthy boundaries. * Andrew missing out on Jesus’ inner circle group. * Contrasting what you “need” versus what you “desire”.   Tony Cooke’s book on relationships is called Relationships Matter and can be found at tonycooke.org.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #67 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Dr. Todd Bowman, a psychologist, neuroscientist, and amazing human being as we talk through the powerful nuances of anxiety and panic. Our conversation, which is part 2 of a 2-part conversation, takes us into the following topics: * What it means to be established in truth. * How anxiety and distress is a driver in “progressive Christianity”, and the needs for deconstruction of faith. * How a generation of people–even in peer groups–may be drowning in anxiety and not know it. * How emotional distress shows up in insomnia, digestive issues, muscle pains, and splitting headaches. * How bi-polar cultural extremes are caused by anxiety. * How shame is anxiety turning against the Self. * How shame can’t be addressed without addressing anxiety. * How social media awakens social anxiety. * The sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. * How the more we fight panic the more intense it will become. * How irritability, anger, and depression are expressions of anxiety. * Analyzing deconstructivism. * How truth is not just an honest expression, but is reality anchored in objectivity. * How objective truth is sometimes perceived as oppressive and therefore a source of anxiety. * “Cancel culture” and the threads of a “spirit of fear”. * Holding the tension between love (acceptance) and definitions of sin. * How to deal with a narcissistic critic as a Pastor. * How anxiety thrives in being unskilled at loving ourselves well with radical acceptance. * How social anxiety shows up in many Pastor’s personalities when they aren’t in a position of “control”. * The vulnerabilities of a pastoral role and how it fuels anxiety. * Various traumatic experiences and the anxieties of congregants transitioning out of the churches we pastor. * How boredom is a characteristic of anxiety. * How arousing a team with fresh vision can often be about anxiety in the leader. Be sure to listen to episode #66, which is part 1 of this conversation on anxiety and panic. Dr. Bowman is the Associate Professor of Counseling at Indiana Wesleyan University. He is an Adjunct Professor for Human Sexuality at Nazarene Theological Seminary. He is an Adjunct Professor of the Intro to Psychology at Nazarene Bible College. He also is an assessing psychologist for evaluating seminary applicants for ministry training. Visit our website: redinkrevival.com Please rate, review, share, and subscribe! Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister

Welcome to Episode #66 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Dr. Todd Bowman, a psychologist, neuroscientist, and amazing human being as we talk through the powerful nuances of anxiety and panic. Our conversation, which is part 1 of a 2-part conversation, takes us into the following topics:   * Patrick’s story of personal panic attacks. * How addiction is an anxiety disorder and/or an intimacy disorder. * Compulsivity being driven by anxiety. * Over organizing, working harder or longer, perfectionism, and other leadership behaviors driven from anxiety. * Defining anxiety, both healthy and unhealthy. * Unpacking the theological narrative of anxiety. * The adaptive and maladaptive manifestations of anxiety. * What Jesus meant when He spoke “fear not”. * What the culture, adults, and kids may experience due to the pandemic. * How controlling outcomes is an illusion that fuels unhealthy anxiety. * How the imagination causes the body to experience threats that aren’t credible. * An analysis by neuroscience of how special forces manage anxiety. * How meditating scripture releases neurochemicals through empowerment circuits. * The difference between the body being the temple of the Holy Spirit and it being “the flesh”. * How the noun of “sin” in Romans chapter 5-8 is referring to trauma mapping for surviving and belonging. * How sinful behavior is rooted in panic, coupled with shame and loss of control. * Walking in the light, the truth or reality, as a template of exploring anxiety and its narratives. * The relationship between the optic nerve’s interaction with the amygdala and walking by faith, not by sight * Why breathing exercises reverse-engineer chronic anxiety episodes. * The three P’s of anxiety that speak loudly in our consciousness. * Tools to manage overwhelming anxiety and panic.   Be sure to listen to next week’s episode #67 as Dr. Bowman and Patrick continue this conversation about anxiety, panic, and the nuances driving our leadership personalities. It will be titled: Anxiety Drivers in Pastors, Deconstruction of Faith, and Cancel Culture.   Dr. Bowman is the Associate Professor of Counseling at Indiana Wesleyan University. He is an Adjunct Professor for Human Sexuality at Nazarene Theological Seminary. He is an Adjunct Professor of the Intro to Psychology at Nazarene Bible College. He also is an assessing psychologist for evaluating seminary applicants for ministry training.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #65 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Pastor Tim Somers, Evan Norris (Patrick’s son), and Cole Cooper. This episode was recorded on Elevation Church’s Run the Culture Podcast, known as ‘The number one podcast on Mars’. Pastor Tim serves as the Youth Pastor under Pastor Steven Furtick and is one the sharpest leaders around; Evan and Cole are the best hosts ever.   Our conversation includes the following topics:   * Reliving high school social anxieties in our adult years. * The triggers in comparison and popularity structures. * How memories format the brain for future survival. * Healthy anxiety versus chronic fear. * How the brain can exaggerate threats by use of imaginations. * How anxieties are always the root drivers of sinful behavior. * Mind patterns that build habits. * Discovering “you” is about radical acceptance of Self. * How anxieties begin with narratives that are personal, pervasive, and permanent. * How to listen to anxiety and explore its messages. * What identifying “threat generalizations” is about. * How to disrupt anxious narratives. * Having a healthy desire for something versus emotionally needing something for feelings of survival or belonging. * How anxiety can express even in “chill” or shy personalities. * The differences between a habit and an addiction. * How to “name it” will help you “tame it” (feelings wheel). * Defining the nature of sin with a feature of inherited trauma and epigenetics.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #64 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Blaine Bartel. Blaine was once considered “Youth Pastor of America.” He was a bestselling author. He hosted a national TV show. He hosted the largest weekly student gatherings in America. However, behind the curtains of his success was a man who was overcome by an unbreakable sexual addiction, severe clinical depression, and marital brokenness. After losing it all–a marriage of 30 years, his reputation, his career, and financial success–he began a journey to a full life resurrection. His story is one of redemption. Of hope. Of freedom. It wasn’t easy, it didn’t have a quick fix, and it was arduous. But it was worth it to finally know the real Christ and the power of His resurrection. Blaine’s ministry opportunities, coaching, and resources are at Blainebartel.com.   Our conversation includes the following topics:   * Blaine’s story of a “Death by a Thousand Lies” book and documentary. * How his addiction began with simple access to pornography in a hotel room. * How life as a guest speaker was filled with weariness, highs, and lows that predisposed him to vulnerabilities. * How for 23 years, the addiction moved from pornography, to live chat lines, to massage parlors, to escorts. * Why trying to control, beat the temptation, manage it, and repair compulsivity without other process relationships is ineffective. * Why Blaine didn’t reach out early on in his story to find trusted relationships and get help. * Blaine’s fantasies of escape to another country, and even ending his life through suicide. * The tension of a Jekyll and Hyde life: how the church Blane pastored rapidly grew in spite of his secret life. * The night his double life was discovered, and his first steps in the journey to recovery. * The tragic moments of watching his wife sob uncontrollably for days, after his disclosure to his wife and kids. * How psychologists Dr. Ralph Earl and Dr. Ken McGill changed him, the way a surgeon helps with physical problems. * The psychological and neurobiological autopsy at the treatment center for his recovery. * The season when Blaine feared that his recovery would only be incremental, rather than a true transformation and resurrection. * How Blaine has been in sobriety for 9 years without a relapse, experiencing real freedom different than white knuckle discipline. * How Blaine’s ministry is helping ministers to find safe places to come clean in their stories and find the help they need. * What Blaine thinks about the recently discovered double life of Ravi Zacharias.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #63 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with the Manager of the Kansas City Royals, Mike Matheny. Before becoming the skipper for the Royals, Mike played for 13 seasons as a catcher and earned 4 Rawlings Gold Glove Awards. He holds the MLB record for consecutive games without an error. As manager of the Cardinals, he became the first manager in MLB history to guide his team to the playoffs in each of his first four seasons. In his personal life, he has been married for 29 years and has 5 adult children. The greatest feature of his résumé is that he is a Jesus man.   Our conversation covers topic such as:   * How Mike grew to love baseball. * The influence of Mike’s parents and grandparents on his formation. * How Mike came to a real faith in Jesus Christ. * Facing the odds of the highly competitive world of major league baseball. * What it was like to meet Kristin (his wife) while juggling a budding dream of professional baseball. * How prayer and surrender to Christ helped him navigate life decisions. * The priority as parents of committing to a local church. * How watching people live out their faith, even in struggle, has marked authentic faith in Mike. * How Mike grew in faith while unusual fame, power, stresses, and temptations were surrounding him. * The beauty and power of healthy relationships, mentors, and accountability. * Mike’s relational style of evangelism through hosting a home BBQ and friendship invitations. * How Mike goes about his daily devotional times with God. * How Mike journals in Bibles to give as gifts to his kids and grandkids as a historical sample of his faith. * Developing a spiritual board of advisors to challenge growing faith. * How Mike defines real metrics of success. * The best way for pastors to actually lean in on a professional athlete or high-capacity leader. * Why Mike prays for his own pastor more than anything else. * How Mike handles setbacks in career goals while holding onto a healthy sense of identity. * How Mike will begin relationships with players to make them ultimate winners. * How Mike builds trust and love, yet is able to have radical candor with players.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #62 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Dr. Todd Bowman, a psychologist, neuroscientist, and amazing human being as we talk through the unique positives and challenges of being a pastor’s kid (PK). We know that even the healthiest PKs have had to process various challenges to become healthy. A few considerations we talk through:   * The impact of family and church family systems where a PK fills a character role. * What it’s like for a PK to be known by all, when most are not relationally invested or qualified to engage what they know. * Comparing the privileges and unique opportunities of being a PK against the challenges. * How a PK’s identity diffusion is molded by church members expectations of the behaviors, beliefs, and politics of a PK. * How peers project that a PK must be a theological scholar due to their birth. * What it’s like for a PK to have “friends for life” whose parents transition out of the church with disgruntled frustration, building emotional frameworks around rejection and betrayal. * How social anxiety can creep into a PK due to the pressures to live up to undefined standards. * What it’s like to develop a sense of Self, while in the shadow of big pastoral personalities and the projected templates a PK is supposed to fit into. * A PK’s unique challenges of learning to be an integrated person–a person with the same values at home, church, and school. * How living life in a fishbowl forms emotional circuitry in a PK, often catalyzing anxieties, panic, rage, and more. * Ways to make sense of, repair, and restore your story as a PK.   Dr. Bowman is the Associate Professor of Counseling at Indiana Wesleyan University, an Adjunct Professor for Human Sexuality at Nazarene Theological Seminary, an Adjunct Professor of the Intro to Psychology at Nazarene Bible College, and an assessing psychologist for evaluating seminary applicants for ministry training.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister

Welcome to Episode #61 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. This episode walks through the power of prayer when engaged in the invisible war, the war that rages in our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and attitudes to compel our manner of life. What benefit does prayer offer us in this war? Is prayer simply about delegating to-do’s to God, a task list we wish He would do? Or, is prayer about a process that transforms our emotional experiences while having a direct impact on our circumstances? For many Christians, an infatuation with the idea of spiritual warfare, focused on external circumstances or angels fighting in the cosmos, keeps them in emotional drama. Yet, Scripture shows that in the five New Testament references about real spiritual warfare, the war is always internal–in the mind. Our battle-ready response to assaults of deceptions–better understood as false perceptions–is to intently forge our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and attitudes with truth. Unfortunately in our day, truth is considered subjective, slippery, and based in oppressive experiences or feelings. For many, truth is merely an intuitive experience. Therefore, many Christians are losing the war, while asking everyone in the “prayer chain” to fervently beg God for deliverance. In this episode Patrick talks about: * How prayer intersects and restores us in a mental battle * What it means to pray “with all” prayer * What supplications are * What happens when we move “face to face” with God * How thanksgiving changes our imaginations of God, ourselves, and circumstances * What happens in the brain when we pray, and how this impacts our emotional experiences * How the power of watchfulness and perseverance is needed * What it means to pray “in the Spirit” Today’s episode is from Patrick’s message series, The Invisible War, which examines the devil, his strategies, arguments, reasonings, and doubtings that are designed to kill, steal, and destroy the believer. The Invisible War series is available at mylifepointe.com/invisible-war, through the LifePointe Church Kansas City app (search LifePointe KC), and on Spotify and Pandora. Visit our website: redinkrevival.com Please rate, review, share, and subscribe! Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #60 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Michael Howell of Legendary Sound Studios in Fort Worth, Texas. Michael is a recording artist, artist’s agent, church worship and production consultant, and all-around creative entrepreneur.   Our conversation takes us into the following topics:   * The real issues in morality. * Making sense of moral guardrails. * How sin or “missing the mark” should be framed up. * Proverbs and the “street of the prostitute.” * How grace and moral standards coexist. * How legalism is about behavior, but holiness is about health. * How our systems and patterns are designed to produce a specific moral outcome. * How the devil seduces us into blurred lines and generalizations. * Identifying where compromises to standards are catalyzed. * How wisdom is crying in the streets for us to hold healthy standards. * How healthy moral standards inspire others and make us stand out.   This episode is recorded in Michael’s studio for the Everything’s Everything podcast, which is a part of The New Sound Is Family platform. You can subscribe to The New Sound is Family on your favorite podcast provider or on Youtube (youtube.com/thenewsoundisfamily).   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #59 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Dr. Todd Bowman, a psychologist, neuroscientist, and amazing human being as we talk through how our historical stories drive our hysterical states. Our conversation takes us into the following topics:   Why knowing your own story from an emotional perspective is so important. How our stories are about emotional needs being met or unmet. How our stories impact our personality formation. What our bodies do to carry our story and influence our future. How our brains reorganize around painful memories to manage survival. Why revisiting and sharing our stories reorganizes the brain for reprocessing pain. What triggering behaviors look like and where they come from. What to do when you emotionally recoil from reliving and recalling past painful memories.   Dr. Bowman is the Associate Professor of Counseling at Indiana Wesleyan University. He is an Adjunct Professor for Human Sexuality at Nazarene Theological Seminary. He is an Adjunct Professor of the Intro to Psychology at Nazarene Bible College. He is also an assessing psychologist for evaluating seminary applicants for ministry training.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

SUBTITLE: Welcome to Episode #58 the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Dr. Todd Bowman, a psychologist, neuroscientist, and amazing human being as we talk through parenting healthy sexuality in a hyper-sexualized world.   Our topics take us into why it is important for parents to know, define, and clarify what sexual “sin” is and how engaging “sinful” behavior has life-consequential risks. We learn how our past sexual stories have formed our present parenting strategies. We discuss how the culture’s pressure to conform to certain ideas about sexuality, inclusion, and bigotry have already been forming our kids sexual framework. We explore how postmodern and post-truth philosophies have created ideological momentum that many parents are completely unaware of. We learn how parents are to interpret today’s professional-elitist ideas of “expert science” related to sexuality. We look at how a parent can navigate through LGBTQ+ issues with their kids. We discuss nuances, guidelines, and conversations around masturbation and issues of giving birth control to a sexually active child. These episodes are to equip parents in mentoring their child’s sexual health, and leaving a legacy that extends to their children, grandchildren, and beyond.   This is an amazing episode and part 2 on this topic.   Dr. Bowman is the Associate Professor of Counseling at Indiana Wesleyan University. He is an Adjunct Professor for Human Sexuality at Nazarene Theological Seminary. He is an Adjunct Professor of the Intro to Psychology at Nazarene Bible College. He is the author of a great parenting book called Angry Birds and Killer Bees: Talking to Your Kids About Sex. He is the author and editor of Reclaiming Sexual Wholeness.   PARENTING BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS: https://www.redinkrevival.com/post/resources-parenting-sexuality   LGBTQ+ BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVES:  https://pointe.info/faq-2   LGBTQ+ EXPERT PSYCHOLOGIST: Dr. Mark Yarhouse - https://www.centerforfaith.com/about/leadership/dr-mark-yarhouse   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #57 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Dr. Todd Bowman, a psychologist, neuroscientist, and amazing human being as we talk through parenting healthy sexuality in a hyper-sexualized world.    Our topics take us into why parents avoid sexual conversations, the church’s culture of secrecy and shame around sexuality, the importance of consistent appropriate sex conversations with kids throughout their lives, and how to actually talk to your kids about sexual matters. We discuss nuances in pornography and its impact on a child’s spirituality, physiology, and nervous system. We continue with ideas of sex positivity, rather than building negative sex frameworks with our kids. We wrap up the episode with Todd telling his own parenting story regarding a traumatic experience of one of his sons. This is an amazing episode and is part 1 of 2 on this topic.   Dr. Bowman is the Associate Professor of Counseling at Indiana Wesleyan University. He is an Adjunct Professor for Human Sexuality at Nazarene Theological Seminary. He is an Adjunct Professor of the Intro to Psychology at Nazarene Bible College. He is the author of a great parenting book called Angry Birds and Killer Bees: Talking to Your Kids About Sex. He is the author and editor of Reclaiming Sexual Wholeness.   PARENTING BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS:  Go to our blog for links to each recommended book at https://www.redinkrevival.com/post/resources-parenting-sexuality   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

 Welcome to Episode #56 (#6 of our 2021 season) of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Rick and Christine Presley on all things “sexual addiction.” They are therapists and experts in the field of addiction and partner betrayal. They are licensed marriage and family therapists, and experienced treatment providers in grief, loss, and trauma recovery. Their certifications as certified sexual addiction professionals, EMDR providers, and partner betrayal clinicians make them extraordinary voices to help people navigate this turbulent topic.   Their own story of Rick’s sexual addiction and Christine’s fractures and chaos management, is redemptive and inspiring. Before becoming therapists, Rick had a secret raging sexual addiction that began in his early youth and extended for years in their marriage. Much of his anonymous sexual experience was during his time as a pastor on staff at a church. Rick and Christine’s story of recovery is one that gives hope to all. Both Rick and Christine relate the roles they played out with a passion to help others.   In last week’s episode we learned about Rick’s addiction story and Christine’s processing of betrayal wounds. We investigated their journeys to faith, them trying to make sense of their struggles, and the destructive power of shame. We explored how believing that God actually “likes” and delights in us can change us at our depths. We discussed what qualifies as an actual addiction and contrasted a high sex drive to an addiction, and we explored the impact of porn and why it is unhealthy.   Today in Episode #56, we continue with part 2 of our conversation. We look at what drives an addict, and why an addict does what they do even though they know it is going to have consequences. We make sense of why a very high percentage of addicts come from religious, rigid, and disengaged families. We talk through how shame is at the root of addiction, and why and how this drives addicts. We review Dr. Patrick Carnes work and break down the cycles of addiction. And finally we talk through what it takes to recover from an addiction.   You don’t want to miss either episode! If you know someone who needs help making sense of their struggles, share this with them and support their recovery.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #55 (#5 of the 2021 season) of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Rick and Christine Presley on all things “sexual addiction.” They are therapists and experts in the field of addiction and partner betrayal. They are licensed marriage and family therapists, and experienced treatment providers in grief, loss, and trauma recovery. Their certifications as certified sexual addiction professionals, EMDR providers, and partner betrayal clinicians make them extraordinary voices to help people navigate this turbulent topic.   Their own story of Rick’s sexual addiction and Christine’s fractures and chaos management, is redemptive and inspiring. Before becoming therapists, Rick had a secret raging sexual addiction that began in his early youth and extended for years in their marriage. Much of his anonymous sexual experience was during his time as a pastor on staff at a church. Rick and Christine’s story of recovery is one that gives hope to all. Both Rick and Christine relate the roles they played out with a passion to help others.   On today’s episode we learn about Rick’s addiction story and Christine’s processing of betrayal wounds. We investigate their journeys to faith, them trying to make sense of their struggles, and the destructive power of shame. We explore how believing that God actually “likes” and delights in us can change us at our depths. We discuss what qualifies as an actual addiction and contrast a high sex drive to an addiction, and we explore the impact of porn and why it is unhealthy.   Next week in Episode #56, we continue with part 2 of our conversation. We look at what drives an addict, and why an addict does what they do even though they know it is going to have consequences. We make sense of why a very high percentage of addicts come from religious, rigid, and disengaged families. We talk through how shame is at the root of addiction, and why and how this drives addicts. We review Dr. Patrick Carnes work and break down the cycles of addiction. And finally we talk through what it takes to recover from an addiction.   You don’t want to miss either episode! If you know someone who needs help making sense of their struggles, share this with them and support their recovery.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

Welcome to Episode #54 (Episode #4 of our 2021 season) of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. This episode erupts with bold ideas around “the gift of righteousness” and it’s radical implications.    When God looks at you and me, what does He think and feel? Can we do anything to make God love us more? Can we do anything to make God love us less? Are there things we can do to put God in a better mood to us? Are there things we can do to shift God into a negative mood towards us?   The “gift of righteousness” changes everything in our emotional attachment to God and how we regulate with Self. God has gifted sinful humans with His own pervasive, sinless, and “right” nature through Christ’s Redemption. The sinner has been cleansed, vetted, and approved once and for all. This gift provides absolute, undisrupted, and full acceptance by God in the beloved. The sinful person has been justified and cleansed so thoroughly it is as though they have never sinned.   The “gift of righteousness” empowers the Receiver with a pure conscience and confidence to stand in God’s presence without a sense of denial, condemnation, judgment, disappointment, unworthiness, shame, self-deprecation, inferiority, timidity, or insecurity. Even while beholding one’s own human flaws and imperfections, the Righteous behold God as absolutely loving, liking, and being in a good mood towards them both now and for all eternity.   The “gift of righteousness” provides us with radical peace towards God and radical acceptance towards Self, disempowering all feelings of unworthiness, valuelessness, unlovability, hopelessness, powerlessness, fear of incompetence, and self-sabotage. The Believer is now awakened with rights and authority to return to extreme faith, boldness, hope, strength, health, prosperity, and protection.   The “gift of righteousness” is the breastplate, a primary piece of the spiritual armor necessary in spiritual warfare. If we get this wrong in our thinking, emotions, beliefs, and attitudes the battle will be lost. If we reform our thoughts to attitudes with God’s gift of righteousness, nothing will be impossible for us, and demons will tremble.   THE INVISIBLE WAR. Today’s episode is from Patrick’s message series The Invisible War, which examines the devil, his strategies, arguments, reasonings, and doubtings that are designed to kill, steal, and destroy the believer.    For many Christians, an infatuation with the idea of spiritual warfare, focused on external circumstances, keeps them in emotional drama. Yet, Scripture shows that in the five New Testament references about real spiritual warfare, the war is always internal–in the mind. Our battle-ready response to assaults of deceptions–better understood as false perceptions–is to intently forge our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and attitudes with truth. Unfortunately, in our day truth is considered subjective, slippery, and based in oppressive experiences or feelings, and for many is merely an intuitive experience. Therefore, many Christians are losing the war, while asking everyone in the “prayer chain” to fervently beg God for deliverance.     The Invisible War series is available at mylifepointe.com/sermons, through the LifePointe Church Kansas City app (search LifePointe KC), and on Spotify and Pandora.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

 Welcome to Episode #53 (Episode #3 of our 2021 season) of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s episode is from Patrick’s message series The Invisible War, which examines the devil, his strategies, arguments, reasonings, and doubtings that are designed to kill, steal, and destroy the believer.    For many Christians, an infatuation with the idea of spiritual warfare, focused on external circumstances, keeps them in emotional drama. Yet, Scripture shows that in the five New Testament references about real spiritual warfare, the war is always internal–in the mind. Our battle-ready response to assaults of deceptions–better understood as false perceptions–is to intently forge our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and attitudes with truth. Unfortunately, in our day truth is considered subjective, slippery, and based in oppressive experiences or feelings, and for many is merely an intuitive experience. Therefore, many Christians are losing the war, while asking everyone in the “prayer chain” to fervently beg God for deliverance.    The warfare that rages in our minds has major implications: first on our spiritual vitality, then our marriages, parenting, callings, assignments, emotional health, and ultimately all areas of our lives. Many people only excavate for truth in human voices, perspectives, and conspiracy theories. To primarily dredge for truth in podcasts, YouTube videos, TED Talks, Google searches, books, and random discoveries is like pacing in a pitch-black room looking for a glimmer of light. In contrast, when we begin with Scripture then we actually begin with undeniable, objective truth and light. This is like walking into a radiantly lit room where we can easily identify the subtle shadows and out of order arrangements. Lies are easy to see in radiant light. Why would we neglect the Scriptural truth about life to mine for truth in dark places?    Today’s episode focuses on sources of truth and vetting reasonings in the light of truth, rather than mining for truth in an ocean of untruths. We look at processes to integrate truth and how truth impacts each piece of God’s armor as a way of renewing thinking, emotions, beliefs, and attitudes. Until we integrate truth, our armor of righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, God’s Word, and prayer will be only symbols rather than transformational forces.    The Invisible War series is available at mylifepointe.com/sermons, through the LifePointe Church Kansas City app, and on Spotify and Pandora.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

 Welcome to Episode #52 (Episode #2 of our 2021 season) of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Dr. Todd Bowman, a psychologist, neuroscientist, and amazing human being. He is the Associate Professor of Counseling at Indiana Wesleyan University. He is an Adjunct Professor for Human Sexuality at Nazarene Theological Seminary. He is an Adjunct Professor of the Intro to Psychology at Nazarene Bible College. And, he is the author and editor of Reclaiming Sexual Wholeness.   In today’s episode we continue a conversation around alcohol, its implications on the brain, its drivers, and its nuances. Our discussion is about health, rather than moralizing the behaviors associated with alcohol. We talk about dependency on alcohol, stress management, and where life is “off” unless alcohol is involved. We share how all addictions are behaviors rooted in relationship attachment disorders. We look at required components of recovery.   Alcohol dependency is expressed in the body, brain, mind, and even elsewhere. When you know why you do what you do, you can more easily reprogram yourself for power to choose health over compulsion. Driven leaders ought to know what they are driven by.    This episode is part 2 of a 2-part series. Part 1 is a helpful resource to give context to this episode.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

 Welcome to Episode #51 in our 2021 new season of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Dr. Todd Bowman, a psychologist, neuroscientist, and amazing human being. He is the Associate Professor of Counseling at Indiana Wesleyan University. He is an Adjunct Professor for Human Sexuality at Nazarene Theological Seminary. He is an Adjunct Professor of the Intro to Psychology at Nazarene Bible College. And, he is the author and editor of Reclaiming Sexual Wholeness.   In today’s episode we begin a conversation around alcohol, morality, psychology, and the brain. We navigate family systems, managing family conflicts, and showing and responding to emotions. We also look at theological biases, a pastor’s weekly rhythms, and their emotional spinnings. We even talk stress management from a pastor’s psychological profile. Driven leaders ought to know what they are driven by.     This episode is part 1 of a 2-part series. Stick around and explore what’s up with alcohol, morality, and the brain.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com   Please rate, review, share, and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

In today’s episode #50, I have a conversation with Dr. William Struthers about his great book, called “Wired for Intimacy:  How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain.” So we have titled this conversation, “A Neuroscientists Perspective on Porn and the Brain” and will be talking through why porn and sexually acting out is so common within Christian leaders, even though they have values that align otherwise.    This episode is part two of a two-part conversation I had with Bill. For those of you who don’t know, Bill Struthers is a leading behavioral neuroscientist, a university professor of psychology and neuroscience, a visiting scholar at both Oxford and Cambridge, an author, and one of my favorite Christian intellects.   This is a perfect way to wrap up the 2020 podcast season. I can’t wait for you to hear what Bill has to bring into this conversation.   Visit our website: redinkrevival.com    Please rate, review, share and subscribe!   Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister