Podcasts about ok what

Tune in now and don't forget to sign up for www.solciety.co!Speaker 1 (00:03):Welcome to the Solarpreneur podcast, where we teach you to take your solar business to the next level. My name is Taylor Armstrong and went from $50 in my bank account and struggling for groceries to closing 150 deals in a year and cracking the code on why sales reps fail. online teach you to avoid the mistakes I made and bringing the top solar dogs, the industry to let you in on the secrets of generating more leads, falling up like a pro and closing more deals. What is a Solarpreneur you might ask a Solarpreneur is a new breed of solar pro that is willing to do whatever it takes to achieve mastery and you are about to become one.Speaker 2 (00:43):Ok What's going on Solarpreneurs. We're back with another show and we've got at legend in the door to door industry. He's written multiple books now, and I'm super excited to have him on the show. We've got the one, the only Lenny Gray. So thanks for coming on the show with us today, Lenny. Absolutely. I'm looking forward to it. Thanks Taylor. Yeah, I'm super excited. And we were talking just, um, before the recording here, how I just finished your new book that came out and, um, I had been posting just a little, like, you know, highlights of it on my Instagram every few days. And it's crazy. We've been getting just message after message. What is that book? I've never seen a book like that, but it's sent off probably 50 messages and, um, should have put it in the title. Cause I kinda got sick of sending out the same message. It's the next door to door or door to door a millionaire.Speaker 2 (01:34):But yeah, so people loved it. So congrats on the book. Plenty. It's huge accomplishment right in a book like that. So no, thank you. I appreciate it. So I, uh, it's kinda funny when I wrote the first one, it was really to kind of get out of the door to door sales industry. I was kind of doing some other things and I thought that was kind of my stamp on the industry and it threw me back in, uh, more violently than ever. So I, uh, I jumped back in and again, the first book I wrote was eight years ago. So this is uh, eight years in the making and the second book. And it's definitely, as it says in the title, it kind of takes things to the next level. So a lot more experienced, uh well-versed door to door reps seem to appreciate the second book a lot better even than the first one.Speaker 2 (02:16):Yeah. Yeah. That's how I felt for sure. So yeah, I mean, it's gotta be a ton of work right. In a book like that. I mean, I've thought about random book, but I'm like, man, it seems like so much work. So where you always well, at what point did you decide that you needed to write even a second book? So I, you know, I was an English minor in college, so I figured I'd put that to good use maybe. I don't know, but uh, didn't really have, uh, you know, a desire to write a book necessarily, but boy, I just had so much experience in so many things and it kind of another motivation for me was when I first got into the door to door sales, like late nineties, right. Forever ago, I'm a dinosaur. But when I got into these, uh, into this industry, I mean literally the company I worked for handed me a training manual that was, you know, 10, 15 pages long.Speaker 2 (03:04):And I was like, that's it? And, and I felt so unequipped to go out and knock any doors. And so I, I just felt with that as my background and then also what I heard and what we still hear in the industry unfortunately, is kind of the lie cheat and steal your way to the top. Like I just, I didn't love that at all. And I, and I I'm just so anti that, that I thought, you know, what if I just put out what I did and just put it right there on paper and let people know that, Hey, you can sleep really good at night knowing you've, you've done door to door the right way. That was kind of my motivation for writing the books. Yeah. I love that. And for those that haven't, haven't checked out Lenny as much. Um, I mean we'll post this bio and everything in the show notes, but he sold, you know, thousands and thousands of pest control accounts.Speaker 2 (03:51):Um, been one of the top reps of all time. What's your record? Like 1300 pest accounts. Yeah. About 1200, something like that in the summer. Yeah. So primarily past, but I've now I run a consulting D 2d millionaire are kind of our consulting arm and I'll tell you, I I've consulted for just about anything and everything you can imagine, uh, to, to knock on somebody's door and sale. So it's, uh, yeah, there's a lot of similarities within industries. There's some nuances that, that are a little unique. Um, solar being one of them, you know, there's some uniqueness with solar, but, uh, but yeah, obviously been around the block a couple of times. Yeah. That's huge. And I came from pest control. Um, I wish I could have done better and pest control because I was, that was one of the guys that, uh, kinda sucked a pest control.Speaker 2 (04:40):I wish I would've had you train on me. I only did, like, I don't know, 150 accounts in pest control. So luckily it's gotten a lot better in solar for me, but one of the things I love about pest is, um, if you can come from pest, I feel like you can be successful in pretty much any door to door thing. Cause solar it's. Um, I mean, we're just setting up appointments typically when we're out knocking doors. So I was used to getting full, signed pest contracts out there. So I'm like, man, all I have to do is set up an appointment. This is easy. I don't have to have them sign anything today. I don't, I collect payment information sweet. So I just went out there and, you know, um, book, the ton of appointments, getting them to actually sit down and sign up, sign up for solar.Speaker 2 (05:18):That was kind of a different skill, but uh, for you money and all your consulting that you've done now with like solar, what are, um, I dunno, maybe some similarities, some differences that you notice, things that apply across the board, what are some things you've noticed with these consultants, different solar companies. Yeah. So, you know, I think the first thing is that the concepts that I teach in my books are, you know, for the most part universal, right? Like there's nothing about body language or meta-verbal, non-verbals, there's nothing that is out there that isn't applicable, not even just in door to door, but just in regular life experience. Right? Like there's just that, that you can do. And the ways you can frame your questioning and your, your, uh, your not just your questioning, but your value building and how you build up the service that you're selling is really universal in, in any kind of communication setting.Speaker 2 (06:11):And I think with my, my solar, uh, my solar consulting that I've done for reps and for companies, it's, it's, it's a lot of, it's kinda more of the same, honestly, that, you know, I don't try to stray too far from the principles that I teach in any industry. In fact, I consulted for a company years ago, um, that actually is valued right now at over a billion dollars. It's a, a no credit check finance company. And I consulted for them and wrote all their training materials and manuals and, and kinda got on board early. I think I was one of the first six people in the room at that company. And, uh, yeah, they started from, from just an idea back in 2000. It was just right after I wrote my books, my first book. So it must've been like 2012, 2013. I kind of jumped on board and, uh, for about a year and a half, I kind of put all their processes together.Speaker 2 (07:02):And it was very similar, even though it was B2B, it wasn't even door to door. It was business to business. And again, this company is an absolute rocket ship and now they're, they're valued at over a billion dollars. They sold like a third of their company for 330, some odd million, uh, back in 2019. And, and it's just fun to see that, to help companies to get to that point, regardless of their solar, their past their finance. It it's a lot of the concepts and principles are very similar. Yeah, definitely. And yeah, I know you've, uh, you know, done it all. You've sold past, you started your own companies. Um, do you still have your, your pest company or are you just doing primarily the consulting now? No, I've got my own pest company, still a Rove pest control. Uh, we've built that in some areas we've sold it we've started again.Speaker 2 (07:52):We built, we've sold, we're kind of back in growth mode right now. We're in five states about six offices, uh, in those states. And so we're yeah, we're, we're back running, which I think it gives me a unique, uh, you know, as far as my consulting goes that there's some uniqueness with that because when I consult for people, I'm running a business day to day, I'm not just saying, Hey, this is, this worked, you know, 10 years ago, or this worked whenever, like I'm literally running a business day-to-day right now knocking doors with sales reps going out in the field, like nothing. Nothing's too big for me, I guess. Yeah. That's awesome. And I love, yeah, I think it's so much more powerful being trained from that perspective being like, no guys, I was literally out last weekend and this thing works for me and I'm not just saying this 10 years ago.Speaker 2 (08:41):Um, so I mean, it's super power on something I try to do on my podcast is share. What's currently working as I go out on the doors, myself and close deals. Um, but that being said, I mean, you've been in this forever since 1998, right. When you first started. So I didn't even know door-to-door existed. Then I was like five years old at that point there weren't cell phones either crazy enough. Like the technology nowadays is probably what what's the most different of anything in the, in the industry to me like talking to people is kind of talking to people and you kind of have your, your skillset for communicating with people that hasn't changed as much as just the technology. I mean, it's just awesome. I mean, I literally remember logging my area on the back of a flyer. You know, I'd write the addresses of the homes and check it if I sold them or exit out.Speaker 2 (09:27):If I, you know, didn't sell them, they told me no. Or if I had a call back, I, I flipped their number and I literally was handwriting everything. It wasn't until I think my third year selling door to door that I even had a cell phone. And it wasn't a smartphone, obviously it was just a, a regular dial up cell phone. So yeah, I think technology has made the door to door industry even a little bit, a little bit. It facilitates even more sales. I mean, that's why you see these guys nowadays just killing it. And I think a lot of it has to do with, well, there's more material out there to be trained on. But then secondly is I think technology is just a huge piece and helping people to maximize their, their daily skin. Yeah, no doubt. I mean, it's crazy all the different tools and softwares we have, like, you know, the rep cards, the sells rabbit, all these different types of things then screw, you probably didn't have the segues and all that back when you first started.Speaker 2 (10:18):Right. I just had sneakers. That was it. Yeah. That was my, um, graffitis. Yeah, I know. Yeah. I started in 2012 and even then, um, they were just starting to come out with a few things, but they handed us, you know, our chunk of chalk and we were out there just chalking the neighborhood. Um, John X on big X's in front of the house is it said no everything. Yeah. So, um, yeah, it has changed a ton and definitely made it easier, I think. Um, but yeah, so Laney, I want to jump into kind of maybe a few specific things. I'm sure a lot of guys will go read your book, but, um, I want to share, maybe jump into a few things that I thought were super cool in your book that I learned. And then maybe you can like elaborate on a few of them and tell your experiences and kind of how you even thought of these things.Speaker 2 (11:07):Um, so I'm just going through a few of the sections of your book. And, um, one of the things in the first part you talked about like earning time and just being more time efficient, basically on the doors and something that I had never really thought of, um, was this whole three door rule where you're, you know, only if you don't talk to someone in three doors, you go, you, you know, you know, you look for someone that's for sure going to be there in the next 10. So I, that was really cool and something I didn't like, you know, talking about training about. Cause I had never really specifically thought of that. How, how did you come up with that for your guys? Was that just like, based on your experience and thought, oh, I'm going to, for sure get someone on the fourth door, how how'd you come up with these time efficiency things?Speaker 2 (11:53):I think that door to door sales to me is insanely boring. If I don't have somebody standing in front of me and you don't make any money, right? Like the only way you make money in door to door sales is you're actually talking to a homeowner. And so when I was out knocking doors early in my career and I just knock on door after door and nobody was home or I was just not getting a good response, like to me, it's like, I just, it was like I said, just insanely boring for me. And I just, I've always gotta be doing something. I'm just kind of one of those guys, that's always gotta be busy. And I just, I just hated that. So I just kind of decided, okay, if I knocked three doors and nobody answers, then I don't care if I have to walk a block or two blocks, I'm going to see kids playing out in the yard or a garage door open or somebody's out doing yard work.Speaker 2 (12:38):Just some, I got to just talk to a human being because I can only have conversations in my head for so long to where I just bore myself. So that that's kinda what it grew from. My three door rule is just, you know what, just go out and talk to people like, cause again, really you're only being effective. You're only making money. You're only having fun with this job if you're actually talking to another human being. Yeah. I think that's huge. And yeah. How many, how many people waste so much time just going door after door. And I think even with new reps, you've probably seen this too, any, but you get these new reps that are still like scared to go knock a door. And some of these guys, I can't believe it. They're like crossing their fingers. Sometimes that people don't answer the door.Speaker 2 (13:19):It's like, they feel like they're out working, but they're like, oh yeah, I'm just not having sex. They didn't talk to anyone, but I was still working. Yeah. Fire guy. Right. If I can just throw a bunch of flyers, then I'll feel like I'm, I'm being productive. So probably the wrong, probably the wrong industry, like come on guys. But yeah. So that's something that's been helping. Um, and just kinda like more specific for our guys because I always thought of that, but we never had like a set rule in place for our teams. Like, come on guys, go talk to someone for sure. After three doors. And I know you have some other sections, but anything else? Um, I guess as far as like managing time on the doors, anything else that have helped your teams and your guys out a lot for people you've consulted?Speaker 2 (14:03):Yeah. For me, a lot of it too is, is a big thing I preach on is what are you thinking about in between the doors, right? Like where does your mind go? I think the best reps that I've been around are the reps that in-between the doors they're looking for ways to improve their actually having those conversations with themselves about what happened on that last door. What could I have done better? You know, could, could I have maybe if I asked this question or man, I totally blew it when I asked that question, I asked that, yes, no question. That was horrible. Um, I gotta, you know, I gotta eliminate that. And so I think what's going on in your head space, in between doors is such a crucial steel because nowadays with our cell phones, right. Which I didn't have to bother me, uh, that being and beep and buzz and do all these things and you can have so many notifications from whatever social media platform you use or emails, text messages, you can just get bothered so much out knocking doors.Speaker 2 (14:55):It's how do you stay focused going door to door? How do you keep your head in the game? Cause all of us know that that have done this before, like door to door sales is 90% mental, right? Like 10%. Yeah. You're out knocking doors or you're out in the heat. I get that. It can be hard. That can be difficult. But the reality of it is the hardest thing is, is just having in your, in your head space, you know, making sure your, your heads in the game heads. Right. I got a guy pulling a lot out here. I think he's gone the other way though. Maybe I don't know. He might be coming towards us. Might have to run from the lawnmower. Yeah. This is real life. Now he's going to, he's going to hold right behind me and I think he's going to be out of here. So maybe we just give him a sec. All the Solarpreneurs could say hi to the lawnmower man. Yeah. It's not bad. Yeah. Lenny Lenny's out in the hood as we speak. So he might just go hit some doors after this. Why not?Speaker 3 (15:53):Why not? Actually, he's going to keep rolling.Speaker 2 (15:58):Um, it's not too loud. I can't, I can't hear it too, too much. It's probably fine. Okay. Um, but yeah. And then another, another thing as, uh, sorry, were you finished? Yeah, I was just going to say just one other thing that I talk about the book is the importance of, in my sense, worth lawn mowing and cutting lawns, you know, that section of my book and I've got a little bit of flack for that, honestly on like, uh, the DGD millionaire, YouTube channel and that kind of stuff like people, like how can you cut across lines? And I kind of share an experience that I had, you know, my only really bad experience cutting lawns, but that's another thing is just efficiencies in between doors. That's how I save a lot of time and I actually have a, a little equation I put in the book there, you know, if you're walking across somebody's driveway and down the sidewalk and up on the porch and you know, going that routine versus just cutting across the lawn, like how much time you could say in a three or four month period, it's mind boggling.Speaker 2 (16:54):Just how those seconds add up day to day. Yeah, that's crazy. And that's something that I know a lot of pests companies train in that, but when I got in solar, um, I told people, oh, you guys like none of the guys I worked with cut lawns and I was like, wait a second. You guys don't like cut across the lines. Like, no, you're going to make people mad. I'm like, like, come on guys. It's going to save tons of time that, especially for solar, I don't know. I don't know what it is about solar, but most solar guys aren't trained on that, I guess probably just cause we knock less doors then, you know, pest control and alarms where he used to be in, or probably the lazier sales reps and just knocking fewer doors. So I think that is a good thing that our solar guys need to hear.Speaker 2 (17:36):It's got to cross line, you know what I do if I, if I was selling solar and I was, um, cutting across lawns, I'd make sure when I'm cutting across lawns, that what I'm doing is I'm actually looking at the rooftop. Like I'm kind of doing a little bit of an inspection, right. And I'm seeing, you know, maybe where the sun's hitting the roof. Um, so I think, and then if you approach that home and somebody calls you out on it, like, oh, you were cutting across my lawn. It's really easy to say, you know what? I was just doing a quick inspection of your roof, you know, just kind of looking, uh, you know, at the sun angle or the, the roof angles and seeing if the solar panels would be really good for your roof, for something along those lines, to where again, I mean with the past, right, you're looking at the lawn and the grass and the ground, and you're trying to observe bugs.Speaker 2 (18:27):I think the same concept could apply in solar and it might help your pitch to somebody if you actually have some data on yeah. As I was kind of coming across your yard, I kind of noticed up here this, that or the other, um, I think it could, it could be used to your advantage during kind of that initial conversation. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. Something we do is look at their electric panels. So that's almost the same concept because the electric panels, you can tell if someone has a red sticker on their panel, that means they have solar. And um, a lot of times, you know, you're not necessarily trying to knock, uh, most of the homes that do have solar. Um, so yeah, same concept, but I think anytime you can save some time and then point out that we have a tool we use to, that I've been talking about in the podcast app.Speaker 2 (19:14):So that's a sun seeker app. So you can show them basically the angles where the sun is hitting their roof. So yeah. I liked best strategy or cutting across the lawn. Yeah. If you do that, have someone approach, you pull up the sun seeker app and say, Hey, no, I was just looking at your roof. Here's actually how the angles are hitting it. Have you heard what's going on in the neighborhood? Did Cathy cross the street tell you? Um, so yeah, I love that part of your book and um, saving time. And then the thing that I thought was really good that you, uh, mentioned, I think in a later chapter is just like on training your reps is you have them send you like recordings. I know you're talking a little bit about that. Just kind of analyzing door after door. I know you talk about having your reps send recordings of their interactions.Speaker 2 (19:56):And um, that's been one of the number one ways you mentioned to, uh, help your reps. So do you have like with companies you're consulting, do you have, um, is that something you like have them do have all the new reps do is send recordings or is that like guys are struggling, you say, okay, you got a donut, this you bagel this day, you need to send a recording or what's your, uh, philosophy with that? Okay. So I think this is one of the most key points of how you, as a manager or as an owner of a company who can influence the most amount of reps in the, in the most efficient way possible. Right? When we talk about saving time, it could even be off the doors. And so for me, when I started requiring that of my sales reps to where you have to send me so much audio per day per week, whatever, I mean, I'll give you an example.Speaker 2 (20:46):So I was in Boston last week, uh, with my office, got, I don't know, a dozen or so reps there. And in the matter of probably six, seven hours while they were on the doors, I reviewed over 40 audio recordings from that group of reps. And I've had reps that since I've kind of tweaked a few things that they were doing, that you can only hear on the doors, you can hear in a role-play, right. You can only hear some things on the doors. Once I heard him, we've had these reps that were struggling to sell, you know, daily, they have sold every day since I was out there last week. And not that I credit the ads myself, but realistically, like you can do your reps a lot of favors by going on the doors with them. That's, that's a good thing. But I think even a more efficient, depending on how many reps you have to, the better approach would be how many of these reps can I influence today?Speaker 2 (21:36):And, and that could be done in higher volumes by actually requiring them to send you audio or video of them actually interacting with real, real people on the doors. Mm yeah. That's money though. When you're training new reps, is it like a set schedule where you say, okay, you're new, you have to send X amount of recordings or is it just kind of like based on the week, or do you have anything specific set up in your company where it's, um, they have to send a certain number? Or how does that work? Yeah, when they're, when they're new out, um, you know, they have to send their manager at least weekly and we try to get the manager that's there with them, day-to-day to, to knock with them. Um, Ben kind of more of the upper level training would be, you know, you've gone a couple of weeks, your managers kind of critique you that he's kind of given you everything that you could give you as far as advice and ways to improve.Speaker 2 (22:24):Well then if we need some higher, you know, higher guns to step in, or just a different point of view, then we'll ask the manager to go ahead and sand. Either me or some of my sales department heads, just some more experienced reps, then there'll be required to send audio to them, just to make sure again, to me how one person sales can be very different than how another person sales. So how a manager, what that manager hears versus what I may hear could be different and I might connect, or my manager might connect differently than, than another rep. So I think, you know, it's kind of that concept of, you know, you, you just surround people with goodness and greatness and then it's gonna rub off on them, uh, eventually one way in one regard or another. Yeah. Okay. I like that. Yeah. Something that are, um, I mean, companies I've been with, um, struggled to kind of figure out it's just like the schedule of how much should you have a near reps shadow?Speaker 2 (23:21):Like if there's a struggling, what do you do with them? Do you just say, try something else. So for you, as you've had your pest company, like, what does it look like for a new rep that's coming on first year or they don't have much experience? Do you have them shadow like X amount of times or how do you like onboard these new reps, um, to have success? And then I guess, what have you seen other successful solar companies that maybe you've consulted do that that's been working? So what we do is we actually have, I I've developed an online training program. Um, and my online training program is probably 40 plus hours of training. Plus I have three preseason events that we do training as well, that are probably another 12 hours. And so before anybody's knocked at the door, they've gotten, uh, at least they have the opportunity to a lot of it is up to them, right?Speaker 2 (24:07):The in-person stuff is, is pretty much a given everybody attends that, um, the online stuff is kind of at their pacing. Um, but yeah, you can have up to 50 hours of just, you know, training before you knock a door. And I I've written a training manual for my own company. That's, you know, another 170 pages long or something crazy. It's like book three. Um, so again, I, I wanted my experience with my reps to be very different than what I had as a rep when I first started, you know, back in the day in the late nineties, like I just want it to be totally different. So we have 50 plus hours that our rep could get in pre-season training. Then when they get out, they're really, I'm, I'm kind of more of the mindset that, yeah, shadowing is good and you know, a manager should get out with his reps that, that, that first couple of days, first three days, at least one time and probably weekly their first month on the doors, uh, second month, probably at least every other week, unless a rep struggling, then you go back to weekly.Speaker 2 (25:06):But I mean, again, for me, we just, we gotta put the time into each rep because every rep learns differently and trains differently. So they might do a little bit of shadowing, but for the most part, all the pre-season training has like videos and audio. And it's basically like they've been on the doors even without knocking the door. Gotcha. And then say, they're coming to shadow. They're still struggling. Um, w what do you have, do you have a system in place where it's like, okay, this isn't working for you, um, like, come show you shadowed, you know, X amount of times it's not working. What do you do with the reps that are struggling in just, you know, aren't getting, yeah. So I, you know, I think of one experience I had a few years ago with a rep who in all honesty probably shouldn't have probably most companies wouldn't have hired him.Speaker 2 (25:53):We hired him because he had a friend of a friend, right. It's kind of one of those guys. And I actually personally wrote a script out for him that he could just memorize because he just wasn't getting the concepts of like the initial approach and how to qualify people, those things I write about. So he just, he wasn't an understanding of it. So I literally just wrote him a script to fit his personality and who he was and what his strengths and weaknesses are. And that script worked. You know, he stuck it out. The whole summary didn't kill it by any means, but he made money more than he would have made, you know, working fast food, uh, you know, during the summer. So sometimes it just takes that customization to, and, and not that it's easy and especially for, you know, companies that hire hundreds and thousands of reps, it's probably an impossibility, but if your company's on the relatively smaller size, like my company, we don't hire more than, I mean, we'll be in the, of probably 40 to 80 hires a summer.Speaker 2 (26:46):Like that's all like door to door is an important part of our company, but it's certainly not the only way we grow. So the reason we've kept it at that number, one of the reasons is it's just, it's easier to manage and make sure every rep has a good experience. So I know a lot of solar companies are in that ballpark probably they're, they're not hiring, you know, hundreds of reps. It's tens of reps like I am. And so I think you have a chance to connect and, and train specifically to each rep. So, yeah. I love that. Yeah. It's cool. Yeah. I ask you these questions just because, um, I mean, this benefits me, this is a lot of stuff we're going through currently. So that's one of my favorite parts of doing the podcast. So I'm like, man, what are we struggling with with our reps right now?Speaker 2 (27:27):I'm going to ask, uh, you know, an expert about it. Yeah. Well, I love it. And that's, you know, that's the thing, that's what I love about this industry right now is for the most part, not like a hundred percent, but for the most part, most companies and most people are pretty open and want to help each other. Like we want to preserve the industry and give it a good name. And now there's people that are just proud that they knocked doors. Right. When, before when I started, it was kind, kinda like this, uh, I knocked doors, I know it's kind of greasy and grimy and I just, I'm kind of a loser because I just knocked doors. But now it's like, there's this pride like that I've seen in the last two decades take over now. It's like, yeah, I knocked doors. Like, I'm proud of that.Speaker 2 (28:02):And I think the more that sharing that's done and the more integrity in the industry, I think just the better, I mean, for me, if, whether it's my kids or grandkids or whatever, like I'd love for them to be able to knock doors. I think door knocking is like a microcosm of life. And there's so many lessons to be learned that help, uh, reps beyond when they're knocking doors. I'm more about building the individual than just making sure they have a, you know, a successful summer where they made money, but they had a light sheet and still to do it. I'd much rather just develop somebody to make them a better human being so that they can go off in life. When they're done knocking doors, heaven forbid they knocked doors as long as I have. Like, I don't wish that on anybody, but, um, but you know, if they go on and they become an attorney or they become a business owner themselves, or they become, you know, uh, uh, you know, they work at a business in the, in the sales department, whatever it is.Speaker 2 (28:52):Like, I just want them to be awesome. I'm going to give you one quick experience too, before the next question, if that's okay. So, um, a couple of Sundays ago, I was just at my church and somebody who had knocked doors for me happened to be visiting his family who was there. And he comes up to me and he, you know, he, you know, give a hug. Like he worked for me for a couple summers. I love the kid. He's like, listen, he's working at a software company, um, right now. And he's in the sales department at a software company. And he's like, listen, I just got to tell you, he's like, man, I'm going to make six figures this year in software sales. And he's like, I owe it all to you. Like, I credit you for teaching me the right way to do it.Speaker 2 (29:29):Cause I'm doing everything you taught me in software sales and I'm absolutely killing it. And I tell you, I mean, as I got to hold back the tears a little bit, I'm like, I'm just so proud. He's like, it's like another son of mine. I'm just proud of him. And that to me is what it's all about. Like, I couldn't care less if somebody works for me and it's one, one and done, right? Like to me, I'm going to put as much effort and energy into that one person. That's one year as I am somebody that's been with me for eight years, you know, I just, I want to develop individuals and people because beyond the doors, there's just so much more that you can learn and take from the door to door experience, uh, just into your life for personal growth and, and just betterment of, of you as a human being. Yeah. That's so cool. Yeah. You got to feel good about that. Um, yeah. I mean, it's happened too. It's one of the only reasons that kept this podcast going is just from guys saying, Hey, this, this helped me a lot. I love your podcasts because I've, you know, it's hard work to keep content like that going. I'm sure with your books do with like, if you, if you hadn't had so many people buy your first book, do you think you would have written a second?Speaker 2 (30:34):What that's like nobody's ever asked me that question, Taylor, that's a great question. I don't, I don't know if my motivation, let me think about that for a second. I don't know if my motivation to write. My second book book was based on the success of my first book. I, I think I felt like I left a lot out and I, you know, I'd get a lot of feedback from people that have said, man, you should have, I want you to write more inspirational stuff. Like I, I get all the tactical things. I didn't feel inspired or, you know, how do you deal with competition since door to door, still popular? Now it's like, I have a whole chapter devoted to competition. How do you get better? Or how do you make yourself better than the competition? How do you beat your competitors so to speak?Speaker 2 (31:11):Um, so I just felt like there was a lot left to be written. And honestly, what did it for me was, was COVID like I was in a homebound and I was stuck and I'm like, oh, I need to fill my time with something I'm going insane. So that's really, when I started writing that book, the second book was just kind of when I was kind of quarantined, I guess, at home with my family. So nice. Well, we're glad for COVID that, you know, sped up the process. Hopefully I have the outline written for awhile, but I, yeah, I didn't have any goals as far as when to actually put it out there. And I was just like, dude, I can, I can crank this now. Cause I got a lot more time at home than I used to. So that's awesome. But no, I love what you're saying just about, you know, how all the people that are sharing way more abundantly, because I mean, as you probably know, when it first started or even, you know, five, 10 years ago, there was nowhere near this amount of like information, you only learn from your managers now you got, you know, podcasts, you got books like yours, you got, you know, Sam tagger doing a lot of stuff.Speaker 2 (32:13):All these guys sharing their content. So it makes it so much easier to just learn and I'll have kind of more pride in the industry. Um, I mean I was buying shoes, just, I think it was two weeks ago and I was with my wife and she was like saying, she's like, she's like telling the shoe Solomon, Hey, he just needs some good shoes for knocking doors for going out in doors. And when she said that, I'm like, I like, come on Dave. He's not gonna know what that like don't embarrass me, but then, but then he was like, oh, that's cool knocking doors. Yeah. I got some perfect shoes there that I'm like, all right. I don't need to be embarrassed about knocking doors and take more pride in it. It's true. All this contents, you know, helping us give ourselves a good name, I think, um, definitely more positivity.Speaker 2 (33:01):Um, so Lenny was kind of section, the last thing you just mentioned is just the competition and um, for our Solarpreneurs or solar guys that listen, this, I think that is a huge thing in the solar industry, because as you probably seen, um, there's been tons and tons of alarm guys, pest control guys. A lot of them are switching to solar. We have huge commissions, so it's a great industry. Um, but that, especially I'm in San Diego, which is probably the most competitive solar. Margaret's definitely one of the most. So it's something we struggle with here, a ton and just like, oh, you're the fifth guy. Um, to the point where it's like, if we mentioned solar at a doorstep, we're getting the door shut instantly. So we've had to kinda, you know, change the way we approach things. Um, so for you, like as you've consulted solar companies, and I know it applies in pest control as well, what are some strategies?Speaker 2 (33:52):What are some things you do when you are getting, um, more competitive areas when you're getting no, you're the fifth guy at my door. Can you talk about some little strategies you've helped your guys with? Yeah, no, that's a great question. So I think the first thing is you just call it what it is, right? Like don't wait for the person to say, you're the fifth company to come on my door today or this week or this month or whatever, like just call it what it is. Like somebody answers the door and it's, you know, it's, Hey, they're just the solar guy. I know you've been hit up by, you know, 20 other companies in the last few weeks or whatever. Like don't, don't wait. And this, this is a principle that I teach. And, and a technique that I think is important is you don't wait for a concern for the customer to actually save extern.Speaker 2 (34:33):You, you bring it up first, right? If you can address the concern first, it just adds to your credibility. And I think your, the respect factor goes up for you as a, as a door to door sales rep, if you can already bring that to their attention. So we talk about name dropping, right? If he knows my name dropping principle from the first book. So if you name drop and if you can actually address their concern for them before they bring it up, like that's huge because you know, if I'm, if I'm the person answering my door and I opened my door and I see solar, then I I'm already looking for the reason why I'm, I'm going to turn that person down. And, and if it's somebody just had already come out or I already have, you know, solar panels, which obviously you can see on like pest control, which I love about the solar industry is you can see if somebody is already a customer.Speaker 2 (35:15):You don't have to find that out by having them tell you that, you know, you're the 20th guy to come knocking on my door, just call that like you see it like right out the gate and don't wait for that to come up. And then depending on your company and how your company different differentiates from the others, that's how you start to, you know, to build your case for your company versus the, that have come by and that have already approached them and have knocked on their door and talked to them about solar before. What, what is different about you and your company versus versus the other 20 people and consider this? Like, I just think an overarching principle for door to door sales is if I go to a door and it's, you know, in a 20 year old neighborhood, and I know for 20 years sales reps have been knocking on that door five to 10 a year.Speaker 2 (36:02):So we're talking to hundreds of sales reps and I, I kind of envisioned like the, the carcasses of the dead door to door sales reps that have been, you know, just shunned off the doorstep, just laying there, you know, by the side of the door. And I'm like, how can I be different? How can I bring a different energy, a different approach that these other hundred to 200 have been turned away for? How can I connect with this person and actually make it a better opportunity for them, for what I'm selling versus what everybody else has in the past. And I will tell you this strangely enough, and some people are surprised to hear this when I knocked doors, my goal isn't to sell everybody. I talk to my goal is to get people further along in the sale than I think anybody else has that has knocked on that door.Speaker 2 (36:44):So I don't care if I end up with a sale. What I like is even when I hear the, oh, you almost got me on this, I was so close. Like I I've said no to everybody, but I almost said yes to you like that to me is a win I'm like, cause I know nobody else would have got you that far. That means that I actually succeeded on that door. So sometimes you take those little victories when, you know, you connected with somebody on a different level than the other hundreds of reps that, that, uh, that have not like that's when you know, you're actually improving and getting better at doing this. Yeah. I love that. Reminds me of the guy in the Bible king, a gripper or something he's like almost converted me to Christianity. You almost converted me to solar quite we'll get there, but you almost got me.Speaker 2 (37:26):Yeah. Yeah, no, that's huge. And yeah, I mean, you talk about some of the strategies in your book and also just like, what I love too is you talk about like, you know, the demographics, um, just some different strategies you can utilize to, um, you know, talk to different types of people. That's something that's helped us out in solar with our teams a lot is just identifying the demographics you're good with. And then, um, like for example, we have quite a few Mexican guys on our team. They'll go hit up the Mexican neighborhoods and it's like, they're celebrities out there. They're speaking the language, they're having success with that. And then you talk about just like the ways you would sell the different demographic demographics of people, um, depending on who they are, you're going to treat them different white collar versus, um, yeah. What was that color?Speaker 2 (38:13):Yeah. Yeah. So things like that. And how do, and um, I mean, pest control, how can you talk about that a little bit with your strategy's demographics? Another thing we recognized in sores, like new move-ins Boulder homes that we're going to target differently and use that data to our advantage. So how are you, um, having your guys kind of utilize that different customer data? Um, how have you seen it and maybe solar companies you've consulted too. So yeah, in the book I break down, uh, three demographics that I think would encompass any person you're going to talk to not saying they're the only demographics we can kind of make those a little bit more granular if you, if you really want to dial it down for specific industry. But we talk about in the second book, I talk about, you know, blue collar, white collar, like you said, somebody who goes into the office every day, whereas a white collar is kind of more of a business person versus maybe the person that is, you know, a works blue collar.Speaker 2 (39:07):Maybe they clean houses like my mom did when I was growing up, my dad's a policeman. Um, you know, he's, he was more blue collar. Maybe that's what it is. Um, there's different ways to approach those types of people based on their, the economics and, and you know, how they live and, and those types of things. We talk about older people versus younger people. And I kind of break down the different generations, you know, and now we've got millennials that are owning homes are buying more homes than, than, uh, you know, boomers and generation X and in my generation and, and, and those types of things. So, um, I kind of break that down a little bit about how to approach those types of people. Cause somebody who is a first-time humble homeowner or home buyer, uh, you're going to treat them very differently than somebody who's been in their house for 20, 30 years or who has his own multiple homes.Speaker 2 (39:54):Right. Um, and then we talk about males versus females, which I think is a fun one too, because there's just different ways to approach men than there are women. Um, and I think it's it, you know, even just in the questioning, uh, the things that you ask, the assumptions that you make, you can take people a lot farther, male and female, just based on doing it, you know, doing the questions or asking the questions just a little bit differently. And so that's, that's kind of a fun one for me too, that chapter, that kind of goes into those, those demographic breakdowns. But I, you know, and I think for solar, like I said, you know, for me, sometimes you, you could go more. I would think that the blue collar white collar one would probably be the most applicable than at least I've taught in, in consulting with solar companies of how, how to approach those people when you're talking about a large ticket item, um, like a solar system.Speaker 2 (40:43):Yeah, yeah, no, that's great stuff. And then with, you know, the older folks, something we utilize in, or that I've learned from a lot of successful guys is just going on with the time management. If you notice people are, you know, older guests, guess what they're probably going to be home in the afternoon. So you're seeing the handicap stickers, stuff like that go to those homes in the afternoon. Cause, um, John and Julie that are, you know, in their thirties working class, they're probably not going to be home. Um, in the afternoons, that's something we've been, um, teaching our teams and our listeners too, is just utilizing that all the different information. And it's super nice. Now I'm going along with the technology. I mean, go on the Zillow app, you can see the new homes, um, you know, you have like the sells rabbit and the knocking apps they're showing you, most of these demographics found what, what their estimated income level is. Um, how many people are probably in the household, things like that. So I think that's another huge advantage we have compared to probably when both west started is, makes it so much more easier. If you can approach a house, be like, oh, you guys have what seven people in the house. Um, yeah. And you know, all this data and it just creates so much more trust. A lot of times you have a name, you have their income, you have all this different stuff.Speaker 2 (41:58):Yeah. And I think, you know, I, I think in ways that COVID has kind of changed the world a little bit too, is, you know, the different strategy of knocking afternoons versus evenings. I talk a little bit about that in the book that's, that's changed, right? I mean, COVID actually changed that for us to where more and more people are working from home and they can live whenever, wherever they want and work, however they want to work. And so I don't think, you know, back in the day and I shared this experience in the book about the company that I worked for that just let experienced reps just work prime time, you know, after five, one year. And it just, it was a complete disaster. And, um, nowadays, I mean, we're seeing sales numbers before five, o'clock being better than they've ever been. And a lot of that is just due to, I think reps are getting smarter and if they follow the three door rule, like we talked about and those types of things, but I just think there's more opportunities in the day now because people are working from home and have a little bit more flexibility in their schedule.Speaker 2 (42:54):So it's not just the older, the older folks that, that you necessarily need to target, even though that's a great demographic to target target during the day they're home most of the day. But I, I even think just that, you know, you're going to run into more just, you know, nine to five type people who now work from home and have a different schedule than they used to have. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. That's a good point. Yeah. Speaking of COVID, I mean, with your company, how did you guys change your strategy? What was it like knocking pest control with COVID last year? Did it affect your guys a ton or, oh yeah, it was a challenge. I mean, here, here's the interesting thing. So we got a late start because, um, you know, we, we wanted to make sure we sent a few guys out to different markets in some markets.Speaker 2 (43:34):Honestly, we didn't knock any doors because, you know, they're governors or whatever, you know, it was kind of putting the state's hands on what to do. And so some of our markets that, you know, the governors were just a little bit more, um, leery to have people out and about, uh, you know, maybe, maybe more, more blue states, you know, don't get into politics. But, um, so we, we couldn't knock in those offices. So, so we had to put people where we could knock. And then when we did knock again, we started probably a month later than we were used to, but our numbers, like our averages were off just off the charts crazy last year. Um, we lost a lot of reps though, because a lot of reps, you know, it's a pandemic. My parents don't want me knocking, you know, this, that and the other.Speaker 2 (44:16):So we did lose a lot of reps. We didn't have a ton of reps, like we would have liked, but the reps that stuck around and actually did it, we, we got them in the right state to knock. It was an awesome summer. Um, it was just shortened and, and like I said, it was just, it was different, but, but we made it through it, you know, just like everybody else. That's still out knocking this year. Like we did it and that's, that's an accomplishment, but it was, it was definitely different. No doubt. Yeah. Luckily things are getting a lot better, but that's what I noticed. I mean, with solar, um, some guys let them affect it more than others, but even in California, which obviously is one of the, um, you know, most strict states for COVID and everything, even here, it's like most areas after a couple months, people really just kind of like sick of being stuck inside.Speaker 2 (44:59):So, you know, I noticed that guys actually came to the door. It's like, they're like, oh cool. There's actually people that exists. Yeah. I'll talk to you. So it's like, almost like they're a nicer in, in, you know, some people freaked out, but, um, I was surprised with, even in a state like California, it was, you know, after a few months, most people just got kinda over it and sick of it. So I agree. Big thing. Yeah. Well, Lenny, last thing I wanted to ask you just before we wrap up here is, um, you've been in this forever. I'm, I'm sure experienced some huge highs and some lows. So what's been like your big, uh, I dunno, toughest thing you've had to go through maybe your biggest failure or something. Like, what have you learned from that to kind of keep you going and all this?Speaker 2 (45:43):Um, I don't, I think you're probably out of all the guys I've had on the show, you've probably been in this, uh, you know, door to door for the longest of anyone in my head. So you've gone through a lot. So can you tell our listeners what's a, I dunno, that biggest, low that you experienced and how you got through it, what you learned from it? Yeah, no, I love that question. So, uh, for me, it was probably my third year knocking. Uh, I was knocking in, uh, Jacksonville, Florida, and I had, I mean, that was my best summer, you know, at the time it was, I think I sold about 700 accounts that, that summer in Jacksonville actually got kicked out of the Jacksonville office, had to go up to Macon, Georgia for a month. Cause we sold too many accounts. Me and the other guy that we're selling in Jacksonville.Speaker 2 (46:23):It's kind of funny. Um, anyway, so, uh, so we were selling there and I had that summer, I had four zeros, so, and here's, you know, for somebody that's averaging seven plus a day to get a zero, you know, it's hard to do actually. Um, but I had four of them. And at that point when I started getting these zeros, I kind of told myself. And I think I read about this maybe in my first book a little bit, but I kind of told myself that, you know what, when I wake up every morning, I have the same number of sales as everybody else and that zero. And so I can let that negative momentum of yesterday, uh, carry over with me today, or I can just start fresh and I can pretend that every day or, I mean, that's the reality. I don't need to pretend, but every day I start out with the same number of sales as everybody else.Speaker 2 (47:12):And I'm constrained, I'm in control of my own destiny every single day. And so for me, it was just that perspective of going okay, can I have bad days? Could I have bad doors? Could I have bad hours or two hours? Can I have a bad week? Sure. You know, but at the end of the, I have a new opportunity at every door and every day to start fresh, to start over again. And I don't have to carry any negative baggage with me. I think in fact, in the second book I hit on that a little bit too, is just that the difference between carrying negative momentum and positive momentum. Because the funny thing to me is I'd have reps literally, um, I'd have reps that they're doing. Um, I'd have reps that were doing great. Like they'd have three or four sales pest sales, you know, before five o'clock and then they'd say, I'm good, Mike.Speaker 2 (48:00):I kind of hit my goal for the day. So I'm done. And I'm like, oh my gosh, what are you doing? Like you got this positive momentum going, like, keep it going. Cause I will tell you this, the fourth and fifth sale of the day, they're a lot easier than the first sale of every day. And, and that's the hardest sale to me. So if you're, you know, negative momentum can carry over if you let it. But the other side of that coin is the positive momentum. Like if you're selling, if you're in a group and it's kind of like, you know, can you imagine a basketball player in a, in a game if they're just on fire and they're just lightened it up, you know, three quarters into the game, they've got 35 points and they're hitting threes and they're finishing and they're hitting their free throws.Speaker 2 (48:36):And then they're like, all right, coach, I'm good. Like, I'll just play the next game. Like I don't need to play the fourth quarter. I'm good. Like that that's ridiculous. Right. Nobody would ever do that. Um, so I think door to door sales reps take themselves out of the game when they've actually got some good positive momentum. And so that's, that's like the worst thing you can do if you're knocking doors, even if you're getting people far, you're setting a lot of appointments and you just got things going. Like we all kind of get in that zone. Sometimes knocking doors, like never give up. I mean, I tell the story about my 4th of July, you know, back in 2000, I sold 23 pest accounts in one day. That was my personal record. And it was, and I had plans my wife, I was going to take her out to dinner on the beach and we were going to do all this.Speaker 2 (49:15):We had reservations and all that went out the window because I had sold 15 by five o'clock and I was just like, honey, I'm so sorry, but I got to keep going. And I just went till, you know, till after dark to hit this record and guess what? We went to dinner the next night, no big deal. Like it was still there. The restaurant didn't go away or, you know, sell out to the ocean, whatever. So, yeah. So anyway, I just think making those little sacrifices when things are going good is so important because you never know you could have 23, 1 day in that same year, I had zeros four times. And again, it was just, that's the nature of sales, right? It's mercurial and moves around. You never know what you're going to get. The weather is going to be bad. One day, it's going to be a little tougher, whatever it is, you just make the most of when it's going good.Speaker 2 (50:01):And when it's going bad, just don't carry that negativity over with you day to day or even door to door. Yeah. That's so powerful. And that chapter in the book was super cool. You talked about, you know, the basketball players. Um, and uh, I think that applies more than pest control probably to solar is because people can go out and sell a single solar deal. They make 10 grand in a single solar deal. So we got so many reps that go out, they sell one for the month. They're like, oh, I'm good. I just made 10 grand in a month. I don't need to do anything. It's like, it's like, imagine how much better. Yeah. Um, so yeah, it's a chop that so many guys fall on TV, especially in the solar industry. Um, so I think that's, um, something super powerful you talk about in the book for our listeners.Speaker 2 (50:46):If you can get in that momentum, don't be satisfied with one, especially if you're out there getting appointments, closing deals never be satisfied and make it a competition. I know is another thing you talk about in your books. So many, um, we appreciate all you're doing for the industry, your books, um, changed a lot of lives and yeah, there's going to be more and more people hitting us up asking them what book is that? So spread the word as much as we can. Um, so for guys that want to go buy it, I've got it here. People are watching the video. Um, can you tell people where to find out more about you and buy the book and maybe connect with you more? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So yeah, my books, uh, I've got any kind of version you'd want, I actually narrated the audio versions of both books.Speaker 2 (51:29):Those seem to do better than even the paperback now forever. It was, you know, the paperback out, sold everything, but right now it's odd. Everybody's likes audio and I get it. If you're driving from area to area, you can just pop me on in your car and you'll, he'll hear my voice. I recorded them. Um, in some vein, I think the audio book just recording, it was, you know, for eight hours or 10 hours, whatever they were, it was harder than writing it in some respects, it was kind of brutal. But, um, I just felt like my, my voice and the way I hit certain things and talk about certain things. I just thought it was more powerful. So anyway, I got the audio Kindle. Um, you can get the paperback, got a hard cover. Uh, all of it can be found on Amazon. That's really my, my main place, uh, where all the books are sold.Speaker 2 (52:13):Uh, my website is another place to connect with me. Um, Lenny gray.com. I've got a blog that I keep up very regularly, probably I don't know, 10 plus years of blog content that some of which is not found in my book. So if you want to hit up, I think that's just money, grade.com/blog. Um, I've got some additional training for purchase for people, probably more on the management ownership of the business that want to, you know, teach their reps what, to, what to learn in the pre-season before they actually start, start knocking doors. I've got some videos of my reps and me doing critiques of them on the doors that kind of stuff's on my, on my website as well. Um, I really, I mean, I'm on Twitter @LennyGray. I think Lenny B Gray Navy. Somebody got me first, I guess there's another one out there.Speaker 2 (53:02):Um, and then, uh, LinkedIn is another one, probably I'm most active, but as far as social media goes on on LinkedIn. So those are some of the ways to connect with them. Awesome. Well guys, go by the book. Um, it's helped me a lot. Hilltop helps help their teams and um, yeah, hit Lenny up, let them know you appreciate it and we'll come out on the show. We'd definitely appreciate it. And we look forward to seeing what you do, any, uh, any, you got three in the, in the plans, Lenny or in any future plans, you got more books or anything like that? I think so. I think so actually, somebody asked me that not too long ago and I, I, I've got some ideas with book three and actually what it'll be just, I'll just kinda throw it out a T and this is a big tease.Speaker 2 (53:40):Cause like I said, it was eight years between first and second book. Second book just came out this year. So, um, but it's going to be with these companies that I'm consulting for when I'm literally working with billionaires and how to make a billion dollar company. And so it's not just going to be based on door to door. I don't think you make billion dollar companies just on door to door. There's a lot of other facets of growing a business. And I want to include some of these entrepreneurs and business owners that I'm working with, that that are running billion dollar companies. That, that to me would probably be the next book that might be door to door. Billionaire is where we might need to go for book three. But anyway, that's kind of my thesis for it or kind of my, uh, my thoughts on it at least initially. Right? You heard it here first. So guys go Paul, any, he's doing awesome stuff for all of us knocking doors and changing the world. So thanks again for coming on the show any and we hope we have lots of guys connecting with you and we'll talk to you soon. Awesome. Thanks Taylor. So you guys,Speaker 1 (54:38):Hey Solarpreneurs. Quick question. What if you could surround yourself with the industry's top performing sales pros, marketers, and CEOs, and learn from their experience and wisdom in less than 20 minutes a day. For the last three years, I've been placed in the fortunate position to interview dozens of elite solar professionals and learn exactly what they do behind closed doors to build their solar careers to an all-star level. That's why I want to make a truly special announcement about the new solar learning community, exclusively for solar professionals to learn, compete, and win with the top performers in the industry. And it's called Solciety. This learning community was designed from the ground up to level the playing field and give solar pros access to proven mentors who want to give back to this community and to help you or your team to be held accountable by the industry's brightest minds. For, are you ready for it? Less than $3 and 45 cents a day currently society's closed the public and membership is by invitation only, but Solarpreneurs can go to society.co to learn more and have the option to join a wait list. When a membership becomes available in your area. Again, this is exclusively for Solarpreneur listeners. So be sure to go to www.solciety.co to join the waitlist and learn more now. Thanks again for listening. We'll catch you again in the next episode. 

#theblackphoenix #misseddeadlines #letstalk We set a deadline and didn't meet it. Join Jay and Trish on this episode as they discussed why they missed their deadline and is it OK⁉️ What do you do if you miss a deadline⁉️ You can listen to the show on

Today is a coaching episode with Mariana Gomes a writer and founder of Ok What’s The Next Step. Mariana started her website after feeling a lack of creativity in her life and wanting to connect to others in a similar place. In this episode we talk about how to get more people to find you when you don’t have a large Instagram following, trusting the process while being pro-active, finding ways to show up when you’re shy and letting what you do be at the heart of your promotionHere's what we talk about in this episode:Introduction to Mariana and how her offerings came aboutMariana’s struggle with long term strategyBroadening the approach to Instagram and getting in front of your audience through collaborationGrowing confidence in pitching to Podcasts and managing shynessSeparating value from helpEfficiently using content to ensure time isn’t taken away from doing the actual workFor links and resources discussed in the show, see the full show notes.Kayte on InstagramMariana on InstagramSubscribe to my newsletter!

It's an episode already, OK? What more do you want?

- Molly Huffman A year after Tage died, I had processed so much that by the time my husband left, I, I was I was definitely anxious and really struggling at that point. But then there was this little bit of just, a I had to laugh and maybe that was all I could do to keep from drowning, but it was just like, are you kidding me? Like this, too.  This is unreal. You like this. This can't happen to people this much loss. INTRO   Sometimes in life, it seems like one loss piles on top of the next.  And that is certainly the story of my guest today, Molly Huffman.  Cancer, miscarriage, infant loss, divorce.  Molly’s story has been marked by grief.  And yet, her story holds more than grief.  She shares about the heavy, tumultuous emotions and how she has embraced life on the other side of loss…and about her new book, which chronicles this journey:  The Moon is Round.   Before we begin, I want to take a moment to note that, at the time of this recording, our country is reeling from the tragic footage of George Floyd’s death, which is convulsing the nation.  And this systemic, historic, abuse of black and brown bodies is not new news, it is just the most recent in a tragic continuum that spans centuries.  And this is definitely a workplace issue.  We will be talking about this in the weeks to come, because it is not a new issue and it is one that this podcast has not given enough voice to in the past.    As we start, I want to thank our podcast sponsor, FullStack PEO.   If you are a small business or an entrepreneur, let FullStack take care of your benefits and your payroll so you can focus on what matters most:  growing your business.  We are also sponsored by my company, Handle with Care consulting.  We offer interactive training sessions that build cultures of empathy and care…and don’t we all need a little more of that these days?   Now, back to Molly.  Molly is a Hoosier by birth but she lives now in Moorehead, Kentucky, in a little neighborhood tucked up in the hills.    - Liesel Mertes And who are the people and animals that fill your house?   - Molly Huffman My husband. Guy. And then I have two stepdaughters, Ali, who is 14, and Aaron, who is eleven. And then our son, Mack, who is one and a half. We have a chocolate Lab, Marty, who's twelve and a black and white kitty Bella, who's also twelve.   - Liesel Mertes And do the dog and the cat get along well?   - Molly Huffman They became siblings as puppy and kitten. So they've been together their whole lives. However, I don't know what they say in their pet language, but he gets so annoyed with her.   Molly loves to run, even in the sweltering heat of Kentucky summer.  And, as I mentioned at the top of the episode, Molly is also a published author.   - Molly Huffman So the book is hopefully coming in June, and it's titled The Moon is Round. And the subtitle is an extraordinary, true story of Grief, Loss and the Fight for Faith. And I tried to vulnerably share a season of life where everything fell apart. But then what I learned and the good that came from it and with the hopes that it can encourage people, you know, in whatever seasons of loss and grief and questions that they are in.   - Liesel Mertes Well, and that is a great jumping off point. I want to circle back to the book.   - Liesel Mertes But tell me what it was like to begin this season of one loss cascading onto the next. Where were you living? What were you doing? What did life look like for you?   - Molly Huffman I was living in central Indiana at the time and I was newly married, had an elementary teaching job, which is what I'd wanted to do.   - Molly Huffman I lived near my parents and my younger sisters were all nearby and it just seemed like life was suddenly falling into place. I had everything I wanted. Things were great.   - Molly Huffman And then all of a sudden, my mom got a cancer diagnosis and and suddenly everything changed. You know? And I had to really just kind of wrestle with all of that,   - Liesel Mertes And what was your relationship like with your mom? Tell me a little bit about her.   - Molly Huffman She I'm the oldest of four daughters, and so she and I had come to a point where we were friends. And I, for the most part, was never much of a rebellious kid. So we really had a great relationship. For the majority of my growing up years, with the exception of like a six month time period in high school. But she really was my best friend. She was funny and generous and kind and my favorite person to hang out with and dream and talk about life with and.   - Molly Huffman And so it was just really devastating to to lose her.   - Liesel Mertes And was it a long journey with cancer?   - Molly Huffman She there it was a spot on her shin was melanoma. And it was removed and we thought we were in the clear. And then a year later, it reappeared in some of her lymph nodes and from there just sort of spread. So it was less than a year between the time we discovered it and her lymph nodes until she was gone.   Molly Huffman But, you know, the the plus was that we had time to say what we wanted to say. The difficult part of that is. That you might be doing a lot of your grieving while the person is still alive. And, you know, so for me it was it was hard to find the balance between enjoying her and also knowing that she's dying, you know?   - Liesel Mertes Yeah. Tell me tell me a little bit more about that, because that stroke is. Is its own, like daily figuring with that? What would that tension look like one day for you?   - Molly Huffman So, you know, I no longer lived under her roof because I was married. But I would teach all day and then either go to her house in the evenings or in periods of time when she was hospitalized. I would drive straight to the hospital, you know, just to be with her and to be with my dad and. Then sisters and. So it was exhausting in its own right, you know, because I'm working all day and then going and caring and grieving, which takes so much energy.   - Molly Huffman But that's just what you do. You know, so we I just. For months. That was. Just how how my days looked. And so trying to have normal conversation, you know, particularly when she was home, talking about the day and what's going on. While watching her decline and, you know, needing to talk about her pain. And what was really interesting was seeing the shift from her being a mother to me and taking care of me.   Molly Huffman And I was 24 when all this happened. So I hope I would deal with it differently now. However, at the time, I don't think I was done yet being mothered by her. And so it was hard for me to to not feel the care and nurture from her that I was used to feeling as she got sicker and sicker because she just didn't have the energy herself to give in.   - Molly Huffman So, you know, that was part of a grief as well here that that led that the tons of. Being more alone than when she had been healthy and able to give fully out of more of an overflow. Right.   - Liesel Mertes So and what was your mother's name?   - Molly Huffman Susie McCracken. Susie.   - Liesel Mertes Sometimes I find, you know, people, people who have died. We don't even get to a chance to say their names in the same kind of way. And they had loomed so large, you know, in our life sphere of irony.   - Liesel Mertes And so this is a devastating thing for you in your early 20s.   - Liesel Mertes But as you write in your book, this is not the only disruption that was going to come and talk with me a little bit about what that timeline looks like with your first pregnancy and your mother's death.   - Molly Huffman So a year after. No, I'm sorry. Three years after she died. I had come out of the fog of grief. And my husband and I tried to start our family. And seven weeks into that pregnancy, on her birthday of all days. I had a miscarriage. And, you know, I wasn't yet done grieving the loss of my mom as really I suppose we never are. You know, it just morphs. But it was still pretty fresh to me at that time.   - Molly Huffman And so. It was devastating because I was so looking forward to this child and new life. And so my husband, I waited another year and then we were pregnant again. And this time our son Tage was born in March of 2014.   - Liesel Mertes And tell me a little bit about Tage.   - Molly Huffman He. Well, it's I guess I have to say, a past tense. He ended up passing away, but he was just a beautiful boy and so healthy.   - Molly Huffman When he was born and just I I felt my joy coming back. And. He was big and strong and had these bright blue eyes that just sparkled.   - Molly Huffman But around the time that he was five or six months old, we started just noticing that. Something seemed off. He wasn't making eye contact or cooing sounds that babies make. He wasn't smiling. And so we went to a couple doctors and the first one, you know, just maybe thought that I was a new mom and nervous, you know, and sort of dismissed my concern.   - Molly Huffman And so I rallied. I thought, OK, maybe that's the truth, you know, but things just weren't getting better.   - Molly Huffman So we went to a different doctor and he immediately diagnosed Tage as failure to thrive because of his weight. And so we were sent for blood work immediately that day and a follow up appointment at the Children's Hospital the next week where they admitted us for muscle impairment problems. And. And so eventually we. Discovered that he had this rare genetic disease called Lei's disease.   - Molly Huffman And it was affecting the mitochondria of all of his cells.   - Molly Huffman And so the doctors told us that it was terminal and and that he would not make it to his first birthday.   - Liesel Mertes So you go from this this big, beautiful, blue eyed baby who's already, you know, a child who has followed a loss and the sadness and the loss of this first baby you were pregnant with and the death of your mom to receiving this news. Was it was it over the span of a couple of weeks or did it did it come to you all in one day? You know, all of the the reality of his condition, I imagine that that is just a 180.   - Molly Huffman And yes, how we showed centering it was it absolute was we were you know, we went to this follow up appointment at the Children's Hospital, and I legitimately thought that they would. You know, tell us what we needed to do and send us home.   - Molly Huffman You know, I was not thinking terminal at all. And so when they wanted to admit us in that appointment, I was so confused and so. It took a couple days for. Of us being in the hospital with him, for the doctors to be able to, you know, decide what the what they're working diagnosis would be.   - Molly Huffman And so two days later, when they told us, you know, I people use that phrase, you know, the room was spinning. But it really it did. I my my body just froze. I could not believe what they were saying. And, you know, how in the world am I going to deal with this after losing my mom and our first pregnancy? And it just didn't feel like I could handle something else.   - Molly Huffman But as a parent, you figure it out. You know, you you realize, OK, well, once the shock wore off, the next day, it was go time. And we spent a week in the hospital just running different tests and Tage got a G tube so that he could eat successfully.   - Molly Huffman And so, you know, going home from the hospital a week later, life looked totally different than when we had entered the hospital.   - Liesel Mertes Well, and I'm struck, as you say, that about a distinct parallel between what you said about your mom, that you were walking this tension of how am I with her and enjoying her, but also grieving her while she's still alive. Did you feel like did that feel akin at all to what you were doing with Tage? Like, I'm I'm with him and I'm wanting to delight in him and be with this child, but I'm grieving him because I have this, I don't know this limited amount of time.   - Molly Huffman Yes. Oh, it was. It was so difficult. My husband, you know, still had to work. So he would go to work Monday through Friday. And I was home with Tage by myself at first and needing to feed him with a G tube, which was new. And, you know, looking at him was the reminder that he was also dying. And it was just so intense.   - Molly Huffman It was so emotionally intense during that time, trying to balance. I love him. I want to care for him and enjoy him while also knowing that our time is limited. And. And I didn't know how much time at that point we would have.   - Molly Huffman But I can say, thankfully, that once I figured out that I could not do that by myself. Friends stepped in and would come over during the day and be with me and just help help me not feel as alone.   - Molly Huffman Which was so such a gift.   - Liesel Mertes I'd like to hear more about that because. One, you know, distinct aspect of what this podcast is about is enabling people to be able to show up in ways that are helpful and that matter as these friends came to your house. Did you did you ask them to come? Did they offer to come? How did that start? Like, what was the tipping point? For that to change for you. Sure.   - Molly Huffman I, I had told a trusted friend or two that. You know that at the time, I, I just could not stop crying because I'm trying to take care of stage, but he's dying, you know. And just seeing him was the reminder. And, and so when I finally admitted that to someone, she said that was actually this is really neat. It was one of my mom's friends. And I think there was this part of me, you know, that when I needed care, you know.   - Molly Huffman And so she's she saw that and said, what if we make a schedule? And she looks at all these people that were my mom's friends that, you know, were in their friend group,   - Molly Huffman She said, what if we make a schedule and, you know, just for whatever you want, two hours in the morning, someone can come and then two hours that afternoon, someone can come and, you know, and it can be fluid. You know, maybe we start with somebody in the morning and some in the afternoon every day.   - Molly Huffman And if that's too much and you can always text us and say, don't come. And so it was really neat.   - Molly Huffman We ended up making this schedule and so hurt my mom's friends would come and sometimes my friends would come as well, and sometimes we cried. Sometimes they just sat in the other room while, you know, I did the things that I needed to get done. Or they might help with laundry or dishes and. And eventually I realized that actually having someone in the morning, in the afternoon was actually too much because I knew that I needed to process the grief.   - Molly Huffman But when people were there, it was hard for me to be real about the grief. And so we then tapered it back and, you know, maybe someone would only come in the afternoon. And, you know, sometimes people would.   - Liesel Mertes I paused for a second just because I'm, I'm struck. You said something interesting that I want to hear more about, the importance of processing your grief and that when someone else was there, I think you said it kept you from being. And being real about the grief that. Tell me more about that. How did the presence of another person in, in so many ways in which it was helpful, but how did that affect how you were processing your grief?   - Molly Huffman My personality is a helper and a caretaker. It's just what I do. And so when other people are at my house, I can't help but want to take care of them. And so. I got better at letting that go during this time, but. But there was still an underlying sense of like I need to have conversation with this person, I need to entertain them. I need to offer them a drink, you know? And so I I couldn't care for myself emotionally when I'm trying to care for some of the people now, you know, a couple of my very closest friends.   - Molly Huffman You know, I wouldn't necessarily feel that pressure, but some of my mom's friends who, you know, I didn't necessarily spend a lot of time with before then. I felt like I needed to care for them.   - Molly Huffman And so it was helpful to have them, but then also helpful to have time without them so that I could just let the tears fall.   - Liesel Mertes Yeah. And as you were aware of this need to process your grief, what were some of the things that were especially helpful for you in that journey of, you know, just walking with this hard reality being like internally to to make space for that sadness?   - Molly Huffman I think. Being honest about my anger and my questions about it. I grew up in a very faith filled family and, you know, as often under, under the thought of, you know, be joyful, always give thanks in all circumstances. And I think that we can be joyful and give thanks in all circumstances once we've been honest about our pain. And so this time gave me.   - Molly Huffman I was able to. I learned to pray honestly:  the doubt and the questions and the anger and believing that that this God that I had believed in, you know, that he could handle all of that, too, gave me such a space to to be able to process the grief. Honestly.   - Liesel Mertes Was that something that you had someone invite you into or you read a book or it was just the overflow of where you were at? Because sometimes there's this element of finding permission out of out of a context that didn't really have space for that. How did you how were you able to accept that that was OK for you to do?   - Molly Huffman Two things. I had a couple friends who would say things like, like Molly, I would be angry, too, you know, and just validated the feeling or some other friends would say it's okay for you to be angry about this to God. You know, like to give the permission.   - Molly Huffman The other thing that was really helpful to me was. Again, going up in church, I know there were these ways that we prayed as children. Like confession or praising God. But what I hadn't learned how to do was lament. And so during that time I started coming across passages in the Bible where these. Men and women of faith and even Jesus himself would lament, know, God, why have you forsaken me?   - Molly Huffman And so seeing that and, and seeing this pattern and this permission to lament allowed me to process the grief. I also found different counselors over that time who were great at helping me process and allowing me to grieve as well. So there were there were so many parts. They were helpful. Yeah.   - Liesel Mertes Well, then. That's face of a community of people, whether it was friends or counselors, to be able to, yes, allow you to feel your feelings and not have to suppress them.   - Liesel Mertes I I have found in the work that I do in my own experience that grief can feel so profoundly isolating because there's no one who who knows the exact dimensionality of your grief and and how even it changes throughout a day. And that particularly with the loss of children or their sickness, that that that can be something that can be hard in in partners or a couple those moments where you are grieving differently than your partner. Did you run into that as Tage was sickening and declining?   - Molly Huffman Yes. My husband tended to run toward work and and busyness and and so he was away from the house a lot. So being stuck at the house, I tended to run toward my girlfriends and family members who could come by. And so we definitely grieved differently.   - Molly Huffman We we did go on a grief retreat. Together. And this was after staged a yes after Tage died. And, you know, worked on processing it together and. And. Really there I felt a lot of of hope leaving that weekend. But.   - Molly Huffman Ultimately, we were not able to turn toward each other. And, and he ended up filing for divorce a year after Tage died.   - Liesel Mertes So. These are. A number of losses from the life that you were moving into two years previous as you were pregnant and expecting stage. What was going on was that. How did that feel? It seems like just so many losses. One on top of the other.   - Molly Huffman It was I. I think by the you know, after a year after Tage died, I had processed so much that by the time my husband left, I, I was I was definitely anxious and really struggling at that point. But then there was this little bit of just, a I had to laugh and maybe that was all I could do to keep from drowning, but it was just like, are you kidding me? Like this, too.   - Molly Huffman This is unreal. You like this. This can't happen to people this much loss. But one day at a time, one counseling appointment at a time, one walk with a friend at a time. You know, I here I am and. And life is good now. So it was so, so much loss. And I still I miss my mom, like, all the time. And I miss Tage.   - Molly Huffman And, you know, so those losses have not gone away but I have. Learned to live with them. I just picture the wound is not open anymore. There's a scar. And I'll never forget.   - Molly Huffman But I also and as I explain in in the book, I like this version of me better. All the things that loss and grief taught me.   - Liesel Mertes Tell me more. Tell me more about that. What? How is this version of you different than 23 year old Molly?   - Molly Huffman I would say and I don't want any of this to sound like I'm puffing myself up, you know. But I can see when I look at 23 year old version of Molly versus now just that, I I have more compassion for people, you know. Twenty three year old Molly was all about herself and what she could get and what she wanted. I   - Molly Huffman My values are different. As far as what used to be important is no longer important. The things that I, that I think I need to make me happy. I don't need those things anymore. You know, as far as material things or.   Per. I don't know. I'm trying think what else it could be, but. And   - Molly Huffman I think this version of me is just more authentic. I, I am I feel more that I am who I was created to be. Now I know who I am. And I'm just much more grateful.   - Liesel Mertes Thank you for sharing that. Do you do you find so with with a number of losses, you know, and to specifically related to bringing children into the world? Did your experience can also tip into feeling yourself as more fearful or anxious? You know, even starting a new marriage with your husband stepping into has. Has there been a shadow of what if everything falls apart again for you? Yes.   - Liesel Mertes Amen. So I am how have you lived within that?   - Molly Huffman Well, so the good news is I'm now remarried to my husband guy and we have two stepdaughters.   - Molly Huffman Well, I have to say, barters his daughters and we have our son, Mac, who's one and a half. And   - Molly Huffman so two major moments in my life where they there was a crossroads. I remember getting married to Guy and and thinking, how do I do this again when my first marriage failed. But I think this time with marriage, I hold it loosely. I don't need the marriage to complete me or to fulfill me. Instead, I get to just enjoy guy as a gift that I've been given.   - Molly Huffman And it's so interesting because, you know, my first husband wanted out and and that was a huge fear of mine for so long that that, you know, someone would leave. But I saw OK. So the worst thing happened. He left and I'm OK. I was held it and so I know. You know, I've joked with go out with guy like if you want to leave, you can't. Like, I. I'm not going to, too.   - Molly Huffman I'm not. I keep you here if you don't want to be here, you know, and honestly, that that opens up such a freedom. And I think for me, a more genuine love for this person knowing that I don't need to control them. And I can just enjoy it for what it is.   - Molly Huffman And then when our son Mac was born in the hospital, I actually had him like a PTSD moment hearing him cry for the first time because I hadn't heard my baby cry since stage right before Tage died.   - Molly Huffman And so there have been some moments like that where all of a sudden, you know, the fear and the anxiety can come rushing back in or, you know, in quiet moments by myself. There are these questions in my mind of, well, what if what if he dies, too? And I think it's important for us to to take that question and say, OK, what if what if. And you know, what I've learned through all of this is that I will be OK if if Mac dies, it will be treacherous and grievous and it will take some time and it will be hard and I will be OK.   - Molly Huffman And. And, you know, having those realizations for both of those relationships has allowed me to live in such freedom. And I think sometimes, you know, we fear, well, what if this worst thing could happen? And literally, my three biggest fears happened to me within a matter of seven years. And. The thing is, if we lean into it and. Get help and admit that we can't do it in seek our friends and seek counselors and.   - Molly Huffman And, you know, in my belief, see, God like you, he will not let you fall in. And so so that's what I live with now.   - Liesel Mertes Can you tell me a little bit more? You know, if someone is listening to this and to hear you able to say, I will be OK, they might think, well, what does OK mean? Does that mean just that you're still alive? Like, is that OK? What does being OK, tell me more about that and what that has meant for you being okay?   - Molly Huffman Now, being in a place where I can say I will be OK is for me. Being able to acknowledge the loss and that there is still pain there. I still miss the people that I've lost, I miss parts of my former life where I lived and who I lived near. But, I also. I've seen that. We can we can still live with that pain, but it doesn't consume us. And there is still. Hope and joy and beauty after loss. And I think sometimes we do. We have a choice.   - Molly Huffman I remember a specific moment that I write about in the book where I had to decide what path I was going to take. And one path would lead me to bitterness. And I have seen people who took that path after loss.   - Molly Huffman And and I believe the other path leads to life. When, if we, if we can choose to do the work and the wrestling in the midst of our pain and and just cling. Then. I really I really have experienced that. You know, our our biggest fears coming true do not have to they knock us down. They knock us down profoundly, but they don't have to destroy us.   - Liesel Mertes Thank you for sharing that. I think that's that's helpful. Sometimes you've had a diversity of types of losses. Sometimes when people are trying to be helpful in the midst of that, they say or do things that are not that helpful. What are some of the least helpful things that people offered to you?   - Liesel Mertes You just say, oh, my gosh, like you might want to be helpful, but please don't do this. Yes.   - Molly Huffman Well. So after Tage died, I had thought that I was going to be staying home, you know, for a long time, raising stage in whatever siblings might come after him.   - Molly Huffman And so instead, my counselor at the time told me, Molly need to go back to work. You can't just sit around your house all day and. I was so mad that he said that, but it turned out to be so true, and so I went back in to the elementary school as a teacher and. I found there that that.   - Molly Huffman Some people were so helpful in that they would leave little notes on my desk for me to see when I got there in the morning or, you know, if I'd stepped out.   - Molly Huffman Or they would just offer a hug. Or little gifts, you know, just things to let you know. Even if we weren't, they weren't my closest co-workers. But but just offering acknowledgement in whatever way they felt comfortable. The thing I would say most of the teachers were amazing. They really, really were.   - Molly Huffman But I know sometimes, you know, we get wrapped up, sometimes caught up in what do I say? And I think what's important for us to know is that nothing that we could say to someone who's grieving in our workplace or anywhere is going to fix it so we can take the pressure off ourselves that we don't have to find the perfect words. Sometimes less is better. You know, just. I'm glad you're back, Molly. I am so sorry. May I give you a hug? You know, simple.   - Molly Huffman Keep it simple. But what's not helpful? What were phrases like? Well, at least, you know, you can be here now. Dot, dot, dot. You know, putting that phrase at least, you know, whatever follows that is not helpful. And, you know, it minimizes the pain. And I know that sometimes we all do that from. A feeling of feeling awkward or not knowing what to say. But. But it's still not good.   - Molly Huffman That was not helpful.   - Liesel Mertes Yeah, exactly. I'd do it. Yes. When we when we. Because I know that even though I really care about it, I can still, like you can spin into these just ingrained behaviors or you feel like you're just grasping at words.     But that's the purpose. Now, don't do that. Yeah, helpful.   - Liesel Mertes Well, your book your book is exciting. Does it? This is this is a question from someone else who, you know, right in some ways, you know, I I write my own journey with Mercy. I don't know to what end or what I'll do with it, but there could be a sense of like, man like this journey is still unfolding. I'm still changing within it.   - Liesel Mertes Does it feel like a like an important like flag in the sand to have put out a book on it? Did that feel like. Yes, I have something to say. And this is it. Is there a sense of like, oh, but my story is still unfolding with this. Tell me, just as a writer, what that has been like to get something out there.   - Molly Huffman Well, I started writing after my mom died. And so this whole journey of loss is is reflective. Of writing for me in in my. You know, I didn't write really before my mom died, and I thought I was going to write a book about losing a parent. And then all of a sudden, you know, there was more loss and more lesson. And so I never felt like it was time to put it. On paper. But I had a blog while Tage was sick, it started as a Caring Bridge when we were in the hospital, but I couldn't help but kind of write.   - Molly Huffman In story form, because that's just what I like to do and. And so after we were out of the hospital, some people were like, well, will you keep writing about all of this? And so we started a blog.   - Molly Huffman And. So I always thought that it might be neat to write a book someday. And then when I met my husband Guy, I just sense that that particular chapter of life and those losses. I wanted that, too, to not be behind me as in to never think of it again. But I wanted a marker that, OK, here was that incredible season of life and what happened and what I learned.   - Molly Huffman And now I'm going to turn the corner here and see what's next, because I'm sure I'm not done writing and I'm sure I know my story and the listener story. No one story is over, you know. But but it it does feel really nice to just. Like you said, plant a flag. Like, let there be a marker from that season of loss and pain. And now moving into this new season, which I'm sure we'll have loss and pain because that just seems to be life.   - Molly Huffman But but I am excited to get to share this book with the world may hopefully be with a little more space in between the losses.   - Liesel Mertes Right. I can feel for myself when I hit 30. I had friends around me who were like thirties, so old. So I was like 30. Feels just right. I lived a heck of a lot of life in my 20s, 30s. Slow down a little bit. Yes. My hope. Yes. Grief.   - Liesel Mertes If someone is listening and they say, I absolutely want to get this book, where is it available and where should they go?   - Molly Huffman It is currently available on Amazon. I believe that the distribution will be wider soon. But for now, I would just say go to Amazon.   - Molly Huffman And I know that there is a little bit of a backup with ordering, you know, because of COVID.   - Liesel Mertes But and I will include a link in the show note. You can also go there. And it's great because you're already getting a ton of your stuff from Amazon. So you just add it on with your toilet paper.   - Molly Huffman Exactly. Easy peasy. One click.   Liesel Mertes You're also a speaker. Tell us a little bit about people who would maybe want to know more or have you for an event. Sure. What kinds of speaking do you do?   - Molly Huffman I love speaking to groups. I have spoken to women's events, college events, youth group events. I've spoken at churches and done even just a writing talk one time. So I would love to to be invited to speak to any group. I love to encourage.   - Liesel Mertes  So what is the best way for people to be in touch with you?   [00:46:36.590] - Molly Huffman My Web site. MollyHuffman.com. And there is a contact button.   - Liesel Mertes Perfect. Molly, thank you.   MUSICAL TRANSITION   Here are three take-aways from my conversation with Molly If you know someone that is in an overwhelming, isolating season (particularly with a small child) it can be really helpful to make a schedule of support.Molly’s friends made sure that she had someone with her….IF she wanted to and they gave her space to cancel at any time.  This sort of consistent, responsive, flexible support can be deeply meaningful.  Molly noted, “Nothing you do or say will ultimately fix the person that is grieving” so release yourself from the pressure of getting it perfect.Molly appreciated gifts, a hug, and the small gestures of people moving towards her.  Grief can and often will cause you to question what seemed like unshakeable beliefs.As Molly grew in her practice of faith and her ways of prayer, she benefitted from friends that encouraged her to be open and honest in her questions.  And this open, honest engagement is so important for faith and for life.  Avoiding or stuffing unwieldy emotions is toxic, what we resist persists.    OUTRO   Link to The Moon is Round:  https://www.amazon.com/Moon-Round-Story-Extraordinary-Grief/dp/B089D34VT6/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=the+moon+Is+round&qid=1591579462&sr=8-1   Molly’s Website:  mollyhuffman.com

Hi church family! How are you all doing? Well, it’s week #5 of being sheltered in place In week #5 you start to see really bad haircuts, am I right? In week #5 you actually watched that show on Netflix called Tiger King… Right about week #5 you start to feel bad about the nonstop eating, am I right? Have you guys heard of freshman 15, well how about the COVID 19? At week #5 it’s like - umm we might be here for a while… And I think right about now is about the time we start to reflect on the deeper matters. It reminds me of people who have had a loved one pass away. And immediately there is all this event planning for the funeral all this busyness And then after the funeral when things finally slow down That’s when the true grieving begins I wonder if its the same way COVID 19 hit and we were in GO GO mode grocery shopping care for elders home schooling set up the home office busy busy Maybe right about now is the time when things finally slow down a new normal has been established and the deeper questions set in Why is all this happening? Why is God allowing COVID 19 to happen? What is the purpose? In other words, What is COVID 19 revealing? About God? About us? About the world we live in? And that is where we are going with this next series. And so in this series we plan to talk about: depression daily dependency on God dysfunctional family relationships social inequality and even environmental justice. But for today we want to talk about control One of the biggest things that COVID 19 is revealing is how little we are in control. We have no control over how long this will last Some of us are losing control over our job situation Some of us who are now homeschooling parents realize - I have no control over our kids So we get angry, lose patience and realize - I have no control over myself and health wise… we sanitize we sanitize wash your hands and never touch your face but you still don’t have complete control you still could get it we could still pass it on COVID 19 is revealed how little control we really have And as Americans, we are people who love to be in control And that leads us to Revelation 5 Revelation is the last book of the Bible Its about the future of the world It is written to people who were in danger of false teaching persecution and compromise Some of them were thrown into prison One of them Antipas was killed for being a Christian So imagine how everyone was feeling They were scared They were feeling out of control… “At any moment they could take us to jail…” “We could be killed, just like Antipas!” For Week #5 in COVID 19 turning to this book to comfort and to challenge just seems very relevant… Revelation is highly symbolic apocalyptic literature. It deals with big big themes, but the idea is that if you understand the big big story of human history, then you know how your personal story fits in. In Revelation 5 John along with all of humanity is on the edge of history leaning in… and wanting to know… Is history going somewhere? Where is this all going? and Who is in control? Different religions have a different take on the unfolding of history. For example in Buddhism history is seen as an endless cycle of life and death and reincarnation. You born, you die, you are reincarnated, you die again… The atheist has a different perspective. Shakespeare said it like this, “life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” In other words, history is not going anywhere in particular. People are born, people suffer, people die, and that’s it. I’m sorry, there is no rhyme there is no reason everyone is a bunch of accidental molecules. I’m sorry. Is that true? Is life a story told by an idiot? Or is it or the replay cycle of reincarnation? Or is history a story with a beginning middle and end that is all going somewhere? And the first verse in chapter five is basically saying Yes, absolutely; history is a story. It has a purpose, it has meaning, it is going somewhere… God is pictured on his throne and in his right hand is a scroll written front and back and sealed with seven seals. And on this scroll is written down everything that is going to happen in the history of the world. In other words every day has carefully and intentionally been planned out. Now this is what it means for us… it means COVID-19 and everything else that happens in God’s world has already written down on God’s scroll. But now the drama in heaven takes a decisive turn. The defining issue in this drama is not what’s in the scroll. The defining issue in this chapter is this: who is worthy to open it? Who is worthy to bring history to its final consummation? Like God the father through this Angel is saying- there needs to be a director! The script is all written down but there needs to be a director. Who is worthy of bringing the script to life. Steven Spielberg? JJ Abrams? And no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth was able to open the scroll or to look into it. And John begins to weep. All right I want you to feel the drama of this. This resonates with our stories of legend. This is like the sword in the stone Excalibur, right? and who is a worthy enough to pull it out and then king Arthur pulls it out. This is like the search for the holy grail right and only one pure of heart could be worthy enough to find it… But this theme of Who is worthy is also a personal one too. Or let’s let’s bring it down to an example that you can relate to. A lot of dads have a little girl. And that little girl has you wrapped around her little finger. She is the light of your life. And then one day when she’s all grown up, one day she brings home something called a man. And then the cry goes out-who is worthy to open the scroll and to date my daughter? Now This is how one father put it to me, he said - I was walking my daughter down the aisle and when it came time to hand her over something inside me couldn’t do it and I got angry and I looked at that man and I thought who is this donkey and why would I hand over my beautiful daughter to him? I was like, wow I can’t believe you said that! And so I said, Dad I don’t like that story. Please don’t share that with other people. OK but this is not the future destiny of a beautiful woman. This is the future destiny of the entire world. And so the call goes out to all of heaven and all of earth: who is worthy? Who is worthy to be the director of this? Who is worthy to bring history to it final consummation? And so the call goes out before the entire universe… Verse three: and no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth was able to open the scroll No one in heaven or on earth or under the earth Just to be clear – John means no one in the entire universe is worthy And so you read into this a very dramatic pause All of humankind is waiting with bated breath You can hear a pin drop And in this dramatic pause John falls down weeping because no one is found worthy enough to take on this task That is, except one… You imagine John bent over and he is loudly weeping and an elder walks up to John and puts a hand on his shoulder says don’t cry don’t cry there is someone - there is someone who can open the scrolls…behold the lion of the tribe of Judah- Notice the first Image used to describe this person who is worthy to bring about the future… Don’t worry the lion of Judah is here Now think about this for a second… How approachable is a lion? How would you feel if I told you that in a few moments a lion would appear in your room. Would you go? Oh good, I would love to pet it! No! You would be terrified! A lion is admirable for its ferocious strength, a lion to the ancient person is not an animal at the zoo in a cage, it is a ruthless, almost unstoppable killer, it would take from your flock at will. It frequently worked from ambush, and when it roars it can be heard from miles away, and people would hear the roar and tremble in fear. A lion is ferocious, with awesome power… So the elder said, Weep no more, behold the lion of the tribe of Judah…he can open the scroll. So you are expecting a ferocious unstoppable invincible LION and so the camera pans to the throne and the four bizarre living creatures and then among the elders emerges the ferocious unstoppable invincible figure you are expecting a lion he is not a lion He is a lamb a lamb that is standing looking as if it had been slaughtered This is not the unstoppable killer we were expecting! Now if a lion is known for being ferocious A lamb is know for being the opposite A lamb is a baby sheep gentle innocent dependent it provides wool we go, wait a minute, so he’s not a lion, he’s a lamb and then John goes right back to the other image And says this lamb has seven horns Seven is the number of completion A horn is a symbol of power. He is a lamb of seven horns, He is a lamb of absolute power. OK What does this mean? One thing it means is that Jesus has incredible range. Jesus has incredible range. Or someone put it 250 years ago - he is a conjunction of diverse excellencies He is the rare combination of diverse excellencies you think could never go together in the same person Let me tell you what this means. It means to the tired, to the hurting, those who feel like they don’t belong, to the stressed out and anxious, He is a slaughtered lamb who can relate to you in every way. He is acquainted with grief He understand weakness He wept with those who wept He was weary He was forsaken betrayed whipped mocked and crucified. I have a friend who wrote a group email to his boss and his boss insulted him in front of everyone! And my friend was so angry. And the only thing that calmed him down is he would think of Jesus being insulted on the cross. And the more he reflected on that the more it gave him calm and poise. A LION TOO! But you know something Jesus Christ has infinite range, he is also a ferocious lion. And for those who are like spiritual marines You want a champion an invincible leader one you can respect in strength! Someone who says- all authority in heaven and earth have been given to me Go and make disciples of all nations …and Jesus is that too! He is a conjunction of diverse excellencies If there is one person worthy of bringing history to its final consummation …it’s Him! And so the Lion Lamb with seven horns and seven eyes walks up to God the Father who is seated on the throne and takes the scroll and the moment he does we see one of the greatest scenes of worship ever recorded in the Bible. It starts with the four living creatures and then the 24 elders and then many angels and then myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands hundreds of millions and then every creature in heaven and on earth and under the sea and in the sea, and all that is in them in other words the entire universe is worshipping the one man the God man the lion lamb who alone is worthy of bringing history to its final completion… Alright, what does this all mean? During COVID 19 all of us to some degree are feeling the same thing we are feeling out of control I can’t plan my summer, I can’t plan my vacation, Rana and I had plans to travel to Taiwan - that got canceled We had plans to support raise in May - that got canceled We have no control over our schedule We all feel the same way We can’t control my kids, we can’t control my own patience… Some of us have lost our jobs Some of us have coworkers who have lost their jobs and we are wondering about our job security We are taking every precaution Even sanitizing our groceries But we still lack complete control… one of the things COVID 19 is revealing is that you and I are not in control. And for people who realize how little control we really have The message of Revelation is very encouraging. It says - we don’t know what the future holds, but we know the One who holds the future. It says - we may have no control over the future, but the One who is worthy is in full control. The One who loves us is in full control. If there is one person you can trust to make everything including COVID 19 work for good- it is Him. You can trust Him You can’t control Him But you can trust Him He is a lion lamb who conquered like a lion by sacrificing himself on the cross like a lamb! He conquered by sacrificing himself out of love… And so what does this mean? It means this: History is not an endless cycle that repeats over and over again. History is not a tale told by an idiot History according to the Bible is the story with the beginning, middle, and an end. History according to the Bible has a purpose. It is all going somewhere. Everything is moving to a final chapter… It is moving the Bible says to a great and glorious ending. Where the evil is vanquished, and poverty will be no more, and loneliness will be no more, and racism will be no more, where the guy get the girl, and the girl gets the guy, and the greatest enemy which is death itself is defeated. At the very last two chapters in the book of Revelation we read about the very end. The final destination of history And this is how it ends… Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place[a] of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people,[b] and God himself will be with them as their God.[c] 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” 5 And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Now if you know the big picture of where all of history is going Then during a time like COVID 19 when you realize how little control you really have… you can have peace… because no matter how bad the battle gets you KNOW you are going to win the war! He will wipe away every tear and death shall be no more. Behold I am making all things new… You can say, I don’t know what the future holds But I know the One who hold the future And He is worthy, worthy, worthy! You can lift up both hands in sweet surrender You can surrender control over your life to him…

This week, Jennifer and Brian welcome back Marie Degulis from Secondwind Water Systems. Today they’re talking about arsenic, PFAS and Uranium in well water.Husband and wife Real Estate Team Brian and Jennifer Frost discuss everything you want to know about buying, selling, investing and owning property.Topics discussed include:Jennifer and Brian talk about what they’ve been up toWhat is PFAS and why do I care?PFAS can be very dangerousHow concerned should I be with plastics in the dishwasher or microwave?Can I collect my own sample for PFAS testing?What is the lead time for results?Is there an acceptable level for PFAS?What can be done for PFAS remediation?How does Secondwind deal the waste products?It’s very important to size systems appropriatelySecondwind has certified water specialistsDo I have to worry about PFAS with bottled water?Tap water could still have problems even if it’s boiledCan I assume the water in restaurants is OK?What is the Pacific patch?Should I be considering a reverse osmosis system?Where are the mortgage rates headed?Are uranium and arsenic problems with wells in NH?Should uranium be part of the comprehensive water test?Do the EPA limits change over time?Check out the website at www.secondwindwater.comFor more information about real estate appraisal, check out Real VALUE Appraisal’s website at realvalueservices.comIf you’re buying or selling real estate, contact Jennifer at www.bestmovesearch.comSpouses Talking Houses is recorded this and every week at The Studio 21 Podcast Café and is part of The United Podcast Network.Music used with permission of Eric Lindberg. The theme music is Punkinseed from the album Rich Enough by The Eric Lindberg Trio. It’s available for purchase at https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/ericlindbergtrio1Jennifer and Brian are licensed to practice real estate in NH and MA. Brian is also a certified general appraiser in NH. They are not lawyers, accountants, home inspectors or therapists. Real estate customs and rules may be different in your area. Each Keller Williams Realty office is independently owned and operated. The Realtor name is trademarked to members of the National Association of Realtors. If you are currently under contract with a real estate agent, this is not intended as a solicitation. Views expressed on this podcast by Jennifer may not be shared by Brian and vice versa, nor are they the views of Keller Williams Realty.

“Get over yourself and make it happen. You don't need someone's permission for you to move forward with your business or whatever it is that you want to do in your life.” -Emily Williams   WORK WITH EMILY iheartmylifebooking.com E-mail: info@iheartmylife.com   DURING THIS EPISODE Are you ready for some real truth? If you're telling yourself that you want a business and you're not taking action on that business, it comes across as a little delusional. I wanted to record this episode to share my honest feedback on what's actually going on beneath the surface. It really confuses me when I hear people rattle off excuses for why they aren’t working on their businesses. I call BS. When you have a passion for something and when you are meant for something, you find a way to make it happen. You're telling yourself you want it, and yet beneath the surface, that's not the actual truth. So we're going to break that down today.   WHAT YOU’LL LEARN Why sacrifice doesn’t have to be negative The questions you need to be asking about your actions Entrepreneurship isn't for everyone, and that's OK What happens when you stop dabbling and start making decisions Why you have to be honest about what you really want   ABOUT THE I HEART MY LIFE SHOW Tune into the I Heart My Life Show with Success Coach Emily Williams to learn how to design a life you love, manifest more success and wealth, move past fear and blocks and create joy in your life and business. Emily and her world-renowned guests will help you create a life that’s better than your dreams and give you tangible action steps to get there — quickly. She’ll cut through the fluff and share what’s worked for her and the world’s most successful people. She believes that success is an inside job — not just about another strategy. The I Heart My Life Show will help you finally heart your life, experience extraordinary success, make more money, live according to your own desires and give you permission to go after what you really want.   SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-heart-my-life-show/id1330534524 Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/1Zw6fI37FrfVjZMXlMiZZ6   CONNECT WITH EMILY https://www.iheartmylife.com/ https://www.instagram.com/iheartmylifenow/ https://www.facebook.com/iheartmylifenow https://www.linkedin.com/company/i-heart-my-life/ Email: info@iheartmylife.com  

More nonsense from dinasaur Cherry / Jeff Lumby and his 108 year old veteran uncle / Dan Duran weather / Why is ageism OK / What does OK Boomer mean / How to open a cannabis container / TFC loses, Leafs suck, Raptors win / Podcast extra - What's the deal with Mercury.

“I want to ask you a few questions and I want you to really think about this for yourself, OK? What happens when you reach a big goal? How do you celebrate? How long does the celebration last? How do you feel and do you set a new goal right away?” This week on Life Like a Boss, I want to talk to you about reaching your goals. I am currently working toward a few goals myself and would like to talk a little about the mindset that comes with setting and working toward goals.  Usually, we set big goals for ourselves and the bigger and scarier they are, the better!  But we go through an entire process only to feel underwhelmed once the goal is realized.  You can’t help but think, why is it that we can set these goals and be so focused on them and then feel unfulfilled or feel empty as if everything we did to get there is not worth it?  The key here is learning how to celebrate, and it does not necessarily have to be when you have already achieved the entire thing.    If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories - @xojennco  Looking for more one on one guidance from Jennifer to neutralize your past and start living your life?  Check out her website! Come hang out with Jenn! Instagram  Note from today’s episode can be found at: Jennifer Connor’s Podcast Blog

What is something that tells you everything is gonna be OK? What brings peace, comfort, healing, laughter and beauty to the human soul are conversations like the one we had with author/filmmaker/performer and poet Junauda Petrus-Nasah about her debut novel, "The Stars and the Blackness Between Them" OUT TODAY, September 17th, and much more! Dig in to this delicious interview for perspectives you can't get anywhere else, and share it with your people! Purchase Junauda's new brilliant young adult novel, "The Stars and the Blackness Between Them" online and in store at independent sellers and anywhere you get your books. Follow Junauda and her work on Instagram: [at]junauda Support our show with any dollar amount monthly to keep us going by becoming a Weapon of Choice Member at this link: www.patreon.com/weaponofchoicepodcast One-time contributions can be made here: www.paypal.me/weaponofchoicepod Please rate and review Weapon of Choice Podcast on Apple Podcasts/iTunes! Follow us on social media here: Facebook: Weapon of Choice Podcast Instagram: [at]weaponofchoicepodcast Twitter: [at]weaponchoicepod Email us: weaponofchoicefans[at]gmail.com Weapon of Choice theme song by Renée Copeland Brought to you by Special Menu Productions THANK YOU!

Matt and Lauren talk about the Democratic debate in Houston which was heavy on people but light on some big issues, a new study shows the contributions DACA recipients make to our economy, and we reconvene the Lyz Lenz Fan Club for the question, "Men, Ok?" What a week. Links: Reproductive justice discussion missing from Democratic debate Report: DACA recipients pay over $50 million in taxes Lyz Lenz: Are Men Ok? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/progress-iowa/message

How you can enjoy friends and family and still maintain frugal values. - Buying an RV? Buy used to get a deal. - What's better for emergency funds, a money market or online bank (Curt) - Is daily dollar cost averaging too extreme (Anon-o-mouse) - What can we do to avoid our pension not paying out (Cassandra, Oklahoma City, OK) - What was the Comcast low cost Internet service (Kristin) - Just paid off my car! (Sue, Sacramento, CA) - Yes, you can throw together a meal in just 5 minutes - How to avoid foreign transaction fees - 6th grader collects 1,500 pounds of peanut butter for the needy Mentioned on the show: Comcast internet essentials - https://apply.internetessentials.com/ Using tax lots to minimize taxes: https://www.investopedia.com/articles/05/taxlots.asp Get The Complete Guide To Saving Money FREE printed copy of Scott's new book - How to Save $1,000 This Week: http://bit.ly/2w30ZWs

You've been doing the work. You've been working the process. You're facing your fears and learning not to be afraid of how you feel. You're no longer crippled by panic, fear and anxiety. One day you find that that familiar fear and anxiety is missing. Is this what it feels like to feel OK? What am I supposed to do with this? Where's the anxiety? Should I be happy now? What if it comes back and puts me back to square one? These are questions I hear all the time from people that have reached the point where they're having anxiety free moments. Today my friend Joe and I discuss this issue and how he's dealing with it. We talk about not continually scanning and assessing your state, why you can't go back to square one if you've gone THROUGH the fear, and what feeling "OK" looks like in the real world. Thanks again to Joe for taking the time. My Links https://theanxioustruth.com/links Intro/Outro Music: "Afterglow" by The Ben Drake Collective. Used with permission. Find Ben Drake on Facebook or at bendrakemusic.com. Find Joe Online https://instagram.com/joeryan https://joeryan.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/theanxioustruth/support

Are bat flips OK? What does it mean to "respect the game?" How has the influx of Latin American players affected baseball's culture? Veteran writer Danny Knobler joins us to discuss MLB's shifting attitudes towards once-sacred player codes. Featured song: "Respect," Otis Redding.

I saw some kids! I interviewed them! This is the podcast, with a guest appearance by a listener!  A rough transcript is here below to help you... ROUGH TRANSCRIPT OK I am walking in the neighborhood and as I was walking by I saw a couple of kids here on the sidewalk so I thought I thought I would ask them what they were doing — hi guys hi what's your name — Harper and I'm Finley McNally  — and how old are you —9 years old and I'm eight and I was the one who thought of the lemonade stand  —I 'm sorry you have to speak a little slower because what what is it that you doing right now  — mmm I'm I'm eight and I and I'm the one who who decided we should do a lemonade stand — a lemonade stand is that what you're doing — yes and we're doing buy one get one free  —so you're selling your selling lemonade is that right  — yes you want to try some  —yeah I think I’ll try It when we're finished  is it good?  — yes it's very good very good— Oh it’s very good hey OK well  I guess I better try it right now hey here we go I'm gonna try it  —Oh that's good lemonade I've gotta tell ya   —how much does a lemonade cost—  it cost $.25  — .25 for a glass a big glass class that's a pretty good deal it's only $.25 and and and it’s buy one  get one free if it if you want to have two like those kids they just bought one and they got one free  — OK I want to ask a different question what's your favorite food — my favorite is a bean and cheese burrito with sour cream — OK and you? my favorite thing is tofu — tofu? — yeah. — wow OK and tell me this hmm last question do you have a pet and tell me about your pet   — I have two pets actually three pets I have one name Leon he's a brown lab I have another that's a labrador retriever yeah ok and I am he's a boy and then I have a girl named Bubba and she's like she's yellow well she's blonde and she's a mix of a boxer and a Labrador — also a dog — yeah and then I have this pig — a pig? did you say a pig  —yes a pig named Pooty — oh my goodness! OK well  I want to thank you for your time. do you have anything else you wanna add? oh OK — What um um are you having fun today?   — I'm having fun yeah I'm having fun interviewing you guys!   — You guys have a good day, byeeee! 

Why do we feel pressure to act 'OK' when we don't feel OK? What are the dangers of repressing your feelings? How do we learn the "Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK?" How do we balance empathy for others while not allowing ourselves to be disrespected? Find out with Sonsera! www.getRAWpodcast.org

Is your relationship with pleasure complicated? Check out my new pleasure course which is enrolling now through April 22, 2019 (we'll enroll again in June!). It's called Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy and runs for five weeks online. I'd love to see you there. On with the show! I received a doozy of an email recently all about a partner who watches porn and the damage that's caused to their relationship. The story of their relationship is long, complicated, and full of problematic behaviors, so this week, I spend a large portion of the episode slowly breaking down the email and what it looks like when we try to control our partner's behavior. We'll explore: Why snooping and looking at a partner's phone and emails never OK What to do when a partner comments on our bodies and tells us to make them look a certain way What to do when we are doing things we don't want to do sexually for a partner without receiving anything in return Why asking a partner to stop watching porn actually causes more harm in the long-run Why the science doesn't support sex "addiction", porn "addiction", or food "addiction" and who is profitting off of us thinking otherwise Unhealthy relationship dynamics And why we NEED to start our relationships with our values and dealbreakers so that people can enthusiastically opt-in rather than being forced to opt-out later Plus, a sad and confused email from Heart Broke Sex Freak. He cheated on his wife and left his marriage to be with the woman he cheated with only to have the new partner cheat on him. He feels lost and scared and like karma came for him. Can a relationship survive cheating? What's on the other side of infidelity? We've got some BIG questions this week, so tune in and see what you think. Want to support the show and get rad bonuses? If you support the show on Patreon at $3 per month, you get exclusive weekly bonus content you can't find anywhere else. If you support at $5 per month you get the weekly bonus content AND a chance to help me answer listener questions. Check out this week's bonus and support the show by heading to patreon.com/sgrpodcast. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

更多英语知识，请关注微信公众号: VOA英语每日一听Nitiya: OK, so something about fun, actually what kind of movies do you like?Todd: Um, well, let's see, I like. I love comedy movies, and for me the most important thing about a movie is, does it have good dialog, does it have good writing, so I don't care about special effects and stuff like that. It just doesn't interest me, and actually, I don't like big Hollywood movies (OK) I think they're terrible.Nitiya: Terrible!Todd: Yeah. (OK) What kind of movies do you like?Nitiya: I guess a lot of adventures, like the movie like "Star Gate" and "The Beach" and, and "The Beach" was not good but, I like something which is so different, something which is about the universe, or something which is about rockets and stuff like that.Todd: So you like movies that require... (detective movies also)... and what?Nitiya: Detective.Todd: Oh, detective movies. (Yeah) So you like movies that require imagination?Nitiya: Exactly.Todd: Now, since we're talking about movies, India has a very big movie industry, Bollywood, (Yeah) do you like the Bollywood movies?Nitiya: It's great. (Yeah) Awesome. Yeah. I guess a lot of people in the whole world like it a lot.Todd: Bollywood, they always have so many people, like the thing is, where do they get all those actors?Nitiya: Lots of actors, so much drama, and I guess a lot of music and dancing and it's just so different from Hollywood movies, so I guess for the reality, I prefer the Hollywood movie and if you just want to have some fun, it would be Bollywood movies.Todd: So, how often would you watch Bollywood and how often do you watch English?Nitiya: Whatever I get.Todd: whatever you get.Nitiya: I just love movies. I'm crazy behind movies.Todd: You're addicted to movies?Nitiya: Very much.Todd: OK, you know in the states when you go to the movies, it's always coke, popcorn, hot dog. When you go to movies in India, what's the food that you eat?Nitiya: Ok, coke is always there.Todd: Right.Nitiya: And yeah, something like chips or potato chips or anything you get in your hands. Basically, I don't like getting disturbed when I'm watching a movie. I'm a person who likes watching a movie very quietly. I don't like watching with friends. I mean, I prefer going who also like watching movies quietly. I mean there are some people in the world, they sit for the movie and they go, oh, this is going to happen next and things like that. I get so irritated. Let me watch it, concentrately.Todd: Right, I hate that.Nitiya: I really want to do it quietly, peacefully. I just want to watch the movie. Not talk to the person sitting behind me.Todd: Ah, I totally agree. And I want to see the beginning, and I want to see the end.Nitiya: Exactly.Todd: And no interruptionsNitiya: Once I begin I really want to go till the end. (Right) I can't stop it in the middle and say, "Oh, oh."Todd: Yeah, which do you prefer, watching it at the cinema, or on DVD at home?Nitiya: At home.Todd: At home. So nobody bothers you?Nitiya: Yep.Todd: Right. Yeah, same thing. OK, thanks, Natiya.

LEP Premium is ready - www.teacherluke.co.uk/premium  This is an announcement to let you know that LEP Premium is now ready to go. If you want to superpower your English into the 9th dimension, then you can get started by signing up for LEP Premium. Let me tell you about it. I’m about to upload some premium episodes into the app. They’ll also be available online if you don’t have the app - but the app is going to be the most convenient way to listen to these episodes in the normal way, when you’re out and about or when you’re at home studying. There will be about 3 episodes coming - probably already there by now, and then more episodes + bonuses every month after that. The way this works is that you’ll need to just create a profile online with my host, sign into the app with that profile and you’ll get access to all the premium episodes I’ve uploaded and am going to upload. www.teacherluke.co.uk/premium to get started. Then Get Access to Premium Episodes. Complete the details and get your login codes and then bob’s your uncle. In the app the login is in the settings menu. Make sure your version of the LEP app is updated. Check the PREMIUM category and that’s where you’ll find the episodes. There will be episodes coming regularly and I’ll also upload other things for premium subscribers, including pdfs, shorter episodes, phrasal verbs and videos. There will be quite a lot of content for the premium subscribers - in the app and online. Yep - you will also have to pay for the premium episodes, but it will be a small amount - just a few dollars - like the price of a coffee, and finally this is a way for me to monetise my online work, and for you to support this whole project. PREMIUM DEAL All the usual episodes of LEP, sometimes with bonuses if you’re using the app, (obviously). Minimum 2 premium episodes per month (MINIMUM - probably more) + various bonuses Premium episodes will be primarily focused on teaching you language. Helping you to develop your vocabulary, grammar and pronunciation with a special interest in looking at how English really sounds vs how it is written. It’s all about decoding language, helping you realise how it really sounds as well as how it is structured. Pdfs with transcripts, vocab lists and notes for each P episode - available in the app or downloadable online. More phrasal verb episodes - New ones :) Video versions of LEP Episodes sometimes (not every single episode, but when possible) Invitations to live YouTube streaming events - e.g. live podcast recordings or online workshops & Q&A sessions - only for premium subscribers (arrange a date, tell them you’ll send the email 30 mins before the live stream, set up the live stream as unlisted, send the email with link, start) All content in the app and online So the podcast will continue as normal with normal episodes being free, but premium subscribers can access all this other stuff too. Premium Episode content Every premium episode will primarily be about teaching language to you. Grammar, vocab or pron. Episodes will be either: Language Reviews focusing on English which has come up naturally in normal episodes of LEP (e.g. unpacking the grammar, vocab or pron in conversations or monologues). Learn real English as it is spoken by my friends and guests. Language Lessons focusing on grammar, vocab or pronunciation (similar to recent grammar lessons). I’ll pick useful, important or requested areas of language and analyse + explain them in proper detail. You might think - what’s the difference between premium and normal? Normal LEP episodes can be divided into 2 functions: To give you listening practice. Exposure to plenty of spoken English is vital for developing proper English skills. Listen a lot and you learn language as a consequence. Sometimes I explain things as I go in order to help make things clear and because as a teacher for over 16 years, I’m always teaching you language, even if that’s not the primary aim of the episode. The primary aim of episodes like this is to explain a topic to you, to teach you about culture, tell you stories, make you laugh, interview people and generally encourage you to listen to English as it is spoken naturally. Language learning happens as a consequence, and you can push it further and more effectively by using the transcripts and notes that I publish free on my website. To teach you language directly, rather than just giving you listening practice. I pick certain language points and explain them explicitly with definitions and made up examples. Or I pick out language that has come up in conversation and teach it back to you, helping you to notice features of natural speech. I’ve been teaching English for over 16 years. I’m well-qualified and experienced. I have a particular set of skills for teaching. I can use those skills to explain, define and demonstrate aspects of English directly to help you learn directly. This is about focusing on language from the bottom up. Putting it simply, Type 1 = topic episodes. Type 2 = language episodes. Most episodes deal with the first option, with a bit of the second option thrown in too. E.g. the recent episodes with Andy or other conversations in which I explain the vocab and language afterwards. Some episodes deal with the second option, with a bit of 1 thrown in. E.g. language focused episodes, like the recent Grammar Questions, or ones about phrases with GET or plenty of episodes in the archive in which I teach idioms, verb tenses, connected speech, etc. Type 2 episodes often take a long time to prepare. They also involve me using professional skills that at this point in my career should come with a fee Premium episodes will primarily be type 2 episodes. I’ve decided that I need to try and monetise some of my podcast work. I’ve been doing it for 9 years. This April was the 9 year anniversary of LEP. Doing the podcast is my part-time job. I teach at the BC and I do my podcast. I really want to continue doing it, I want to support your English, but I also need to support my family! I think you understand. I want the podcast to remain free, and that will happen. Normal episodes of LEP will still be free. There might be slightly less of them, but so be it. But they will be free. If you want to support LEP after all these years you can by becoming a premium member and you’ll get a bunch of serious bonus content too. Jack I remember listening to the pink gorilla episode about a year ago and during the episode you said "OK, never mind". Same thing happened again and when it happened the second time I thought : Why does King say "OK, never mind" why doesn't he just say "OK" ? What does "never mind" mean? And that curiosity led me to google and that's how I learned that word :) So with LEP Premium episodes you are essentially explaining the listeners all the language without them having to do any hard work :P they just have to listen to that episode everyday until it clicks.   Your vocabulary is going to get so good This is a double whammy of just absorbing English through exposure and having things carefully pointed out and clarified, explained How do teachers choose what English to teach you? It’s based on general corpora of English. With this method the corpora is LEP. Learn the English you hear on the podcast. So, not only will you be hearing a lot of vocabulary just coming up naturally in context in normal episodes (which is a really solid way to build awareness of English into your life steadily, bit by bit) but also you’ll regularly have things clarified and taught to you by me afterwards. I think it should be a powerful combination of natural exposure to English in full context and also good old fashioned language teaching from me - all based on the same language. I think to get this full LEP experience you’ll need to be a premium subscriber. It’ll also help you to understand and appreciate the normal episodes of the podcast that much more. For example, imagine hearing a conversation with Amber & Paul - you might enjoy it because of the fun vibe we have between us, but there’s bound to be loads of things you’ll miss. Then you can hear a premium episode which clarifies so much of what we said. You could then go back and listen to the original episode again, armed with so much more understanding - you’d understand much much more of it and as a result a lot of that language is going to stick with you. It’s the ideal combination I reckon. Also, your grammar is going to get more and more solid as I will make a point of highlighting features of grammar, as well as vocabulary as we go. LEPP episodes won’t just be about explaining vocab and grammar you’ve heard. Some episodes will be lessons that just focus on important bits of language that you need to know anyway, even if they haven’t come up specifically in other episodes. It’s all about language - raising awareness, raising your understanding, improving your accuracy so you avoid common errors, making you more confident with the language but not in an abstract way - in a way that connects it to how the language is actually used and has actually been used in conversations you’ve already heard on the podcast. That’s the thinking behind LEP Premium. I hope you jump on for the ride. Now, there are 3 premium episodes recorded and ready to go and they’ll be available to you almost immediately. Remember, they’ll be in the LEP App in the premium category, and on the LEP Premium page at teacherluke.co.uk/premium That’s where you’ll find the episodes and you’ll be able to get the pdfs in those places too. Use the website teacherluke.co.uk/premium to set up your premium profile with a login code and password. Then you can sign into the app and gain access to premium content there, and also sign in online and get episodes there, including any premium players on my website which will be locked unless you’re a subscriber. Choose your payment plan. This is where you are going to help me out with a contribution each month.   Price How much do you reckon you’d expect to pay for all this stuff? Think of it as a contribution towards helping the podcast. $3.99 per month = Buy me a pint of beer in a pub $19.99 every six months ($3.29 per month) Buy me a Big coffee - 15% discount $34.99 per year ($2.89 per month) Buy me a Small coffee - 30% discount Remember all the stuff you’ll be able to get: Minimum 2 premium episodes per month (MINIMUM - probably more) Pdfs with transcripts, vocab lists and notes for each P episode - available in the app or downloadable online. More phrasal verb episodes Video versions of LEP Episodes (not every single episode, but when possible) Invitations to live YouTube streaming events - e.g. live podcast recordings or online workshops & Q&A sessions (arrange a date, tell them you’ll send the email 30 mins before the live stream, set up the live stream as unlisted, send the email with link, start) All content in the app and online Any questions, let me know at luketeacher@hotmail.com There will also be at least one page on the website where you can leave comments for premium content. First thing, get your premium profile set up and get access to about 3 episodes which will be available in the next couple of days. Then look forward to regular content coming in - language reviews of conversations with guests, grammar and pronunciation lessons - all the things you need to progress in your English with Luke’s English Podcast. www.teacherluke.co.uk/premium to get started In the app you sign in in the settings page. I hope you’re as excited as me to really dig deep into British English and learn the same stuff that people actually say on a daily basis, rather than just some words on paper or in a book which look nothing like the way they sound when people speak. www.teacherluke.co.uk/premium to get started Speak to you again soon. Bye

What's going on everyone, this is Steve Larsen and you're listening to Secret MLM Hacks Radio. So, here's the real mystery. How do real MLMers like us who didn't cheat and only bug family members and friends, who want to grow a profitable home business, how do we recruit A players into our downlines and create extra incomes, yet still have plenty of time for the rest of our lives? That's the blaring question, and this podcast will give you the answer. My name is Steve Larsen and welcome to Secret MLM Hacks Radio. Hey guys, hope you're doing great. Hope that everything is going fantastic in your life. Hey, I just barely finished a three day event that I got to teach the majority of, and it was a lot of fun ... Anyway, I really enjoy it. I love teaching, I love stage presenting, I did a lot of stage stuff growing up, and I just, I really like it, I enjoy ... There's certainly a rush to it. The way it started out is day number one we went from nine to five, it was kind of normal. Day number two though, we started about 8:30 in the morning and then we went to about 1:00 AM, 12:00, about midnight, 1:00 AM, somewhere around there, and, which is crazy. It's funny, we don't like take like, there's not like breaks, you know what I mean? There's no like bathroom breaks, there's no like hey go get a snack everybody. It's literally straight through the entire time. Then the third day, similar to the first one, it was about nine to five, and by the end of it everyone's just dead, and but it's a ton of fun. I got to share the stage with Russell Brunson, and sometimes literally, which was awesome. He and I tagged, we did some tag teaming back and forth on some different topics and such. It was a lot of fun, I really enjoyed ... It's for what's called the Two Comma Club Coaching Program, and I am one of the coaches for it. Two Commas, meaning a million bucks, which is awesome. It's a lot of fun. I mean I enjoy that setting, I enjoy the ... I think what I like most about it is the high immersion that comes with those kinds of events. Anyway, that's kind of the reason why I wasn't able to podcast so much this last week, because I have been so just, I mean it's intense. It takes me a solid day or two just to recover from that. It's very intense just for the listener, let alone if you're the actual speaker in it for the majority of the time. The first day Russell and I kind of went back and forth, the second day it was mostly me. I went from 9:00 AM until about 9:00 PM, I was on about 12 straight hours, and then Russell came in and picked up for another session, and anyway it was a lot of fun, I really enjoy it. You know what's funny about the whole thing too is that we spent a lot of time helping people figure out what they're selling and how to sell it, that's like the whole goal of the zero to seven figure area, OK, what are you selling and how do you sell it? What we're trying to help people figure out is where their product can exist without really any other competition, OK, it's a hard area to hit. That's not an easy thing to do, because what you're trying to do is you're trying to find the reddest, reddest, bloodiest, red, red, ocean, right where there's the most competition, there's the most people in there who are just spending ferociously, wherever the rabid buyers are, irrational purchasers, you're trying to find those people. Then you're trying to take one step out of that and create a new niche that you can then target that red ocean to come buy it from you. Does that make sense? Here's what's interesting about that with the MLM world. With the MLM world, everyone is inside this super red, red ocean, everyone is, they're selling the exact same thing in the exact same way usually. They're selling the exact same products, the same services, they're even using the same scripts, the same, "Hey, let me three-way in you this guy and he's going to teach us about how do I make a whole bunch of money." Do you know what I mean? It's that kind of thing over and over and over and over again. What's really interesting is to take the same formulas that we use, which there's a lot of them, and try and in the MLM space figure out a new what am I selling and how does it sell, a new what and how, OK? You think through what actually gets people excited, what actually gets people attracted into what it is that you're actually doing and think to yourself, "OK, what do I sell? What do I sell, and what do I sell that's new, that's different, that is different than what other people have been teaching, and selling, and doing inside the MLM space? How can I be completely different than my upline? How can I be completely different to those I will recruit? How can I solve problems for those I will recruit?" Does that make sense? When you do it that way, and that's very similar to what we do, and there's a whole bunch of formulas we follow and there's a whole bunch of cool steps we go through to help that person very clearly figure out hey, here is your new niche, here is exactly how you do it, and if you can start asking those questions inside the MLM space, it's amazing how fast you cut away from everybody else. I know this is a very old number, but years ago I went and I looked at a stat online that said that there's over 10 million MLMers in America alone. I know that's an old stat, it's probably a very small number now, but let alone 10 million people, and they're almost all selling the exact same thing. It may not be that they're all selling the same thing, because I know there's lots of MLMs, there's people selling this, people selling that, whatever it might be, but the how, the how is the exact same. How they do it is the same way, it's the same thing all the time. "Look, go get friends and family. Look," someone called it the NFL, the no friends left zone. I'd never heard that before. But start thinking through that, and some of the easiest ways to do it is to start looking, and I just want to give you guys like two or three steps here on how to actually find a new niche inside of your MLM opportunity, OK? Here's one of the easiest ways to do it. Number one, I want you to know that it is not ... You don't need to go be creative first. Usually whenever I say, "Hey, go create a new niche, go create a new niche," it makes sense that you would run off and you would start creating a new niche, meaning you would be creative and start thinking through like, "OK, what can I create, what can I make, what can I sell that's totally different than anything else on the marketplace?" Right? I understand that, I totally get that, like it's a ... But what I'm begging you to do is to not actually be creative on the first step. It's a little bit counterintuitive. OK, I'm telling you you've got to be creative second. The first thing you got to do, rather than be creative the first thing you got to go do is find the people who are being ultra successful inside your MLM, OK? I know I've gone through a little bit of these steps prior to, I think in a previous episode, but pay close attention to this though, because ... Anyway, if you go find, go find who is actually killing it inside your MLM. Now, let's be real here. If they're your upline, they are your competitors, does that make sense? Your downline is your competitors. Your click funnel, or your ... I almost said click funnels ... I did say click funnels. Your MLM HQ, that's your competition. Whoever it is who's actually selling that same product, they are your competition, and so while they might be helping you, while they might be saying, "Hey, when you succeed, I succeed," that kind of thing, like that's true, that's true, but they're still your competition. Someone inside that MLM that you are in right now, whether or not you're in one, is killing it. What are they doing? What's so different about what they're doing? Did they really just go talk to friends and family, or is there another method that they're using to actually recruit people, another method they're using to attract people to them, OK? Get real, real, really, really familiar and friendly with those people, figure out what exactly it is they're doing. Maybe the script is a little bit different than what the corporate teaches, maybe they offer something in addition when somebody joins their downline, maybe they figured out, maybe they gave a plan, maybe they gave some kind of guide. What is it that they are actually selling, what is it they're actually doing, because I doubt it's just whatever the run of the mill script is that your upline is teaching. I doubt that very much. Most of the time that's not what happens. Most of the time they're not out doing the friends and family hotel meetings, and home meetings, and stuff, and parties, and stuff like that. Usually that's not how it happens. Usually they're not the ones taking the selfies in the gym saying, "Oh, I've got my thing and I'm working from home today in my living room," like that's not ... That's typically not what the big guys are actually doing, so why would you do it? Stop modeling failure, do you know what I mean? I had to realize that for myself too. The first time I joined an MLM, it was about 3.5 years ago, 4 years ago, and I realized that I was modeling failure. I realized that I was modeling, but I was expecting success, I was expecting something different out of it, but I was literally modeling failure. I was going around and I was saying, "Hey, I'm going to do the exact same thing, I'm going to do it big, loud, and proud. I'm going to recruit everybody," I literally walked down Main Street and I started recruiting people, and one of the issues that that caused is that it ticked a lot of people off. There was no one I was really modeling that was uber successful. The people that I was modeling in it, they were not ... It was certainly not passive income like everyone toted around, you know what I mean? Anyway, what I'm telling you to do is number one, go find out what people in your MLM are actually doing to be successful, OK? What are they actually selling? Then number two, how are they selling it? Ask what do you sell and how are you selling it? If you can figure those two things out, and what's cool is that you that, I mean you know someone in your upline is killing it, so go model them, go figure out what it is. If you figure out what people are selling and how they're selling it, that's like step one, OK, that's step one. Step two, step two in my opinion is the more fun part. Step two is where you be creative. Now that you know what someone is selling and you know how they're actually selling it, what script are they using, where are they getting their traffic from, whether it's online or offline, or whatever it is, how are they getting eyeballs? Now that you know what they're selling and how they're selling it, the second thing for you is to be creative, OK, not first. What you do is, this is actually my favorite part of it, what I do is I actually use, it's called a stack slide, and it is a way to model and create new offers out of places that are super competitive. This is one of the easiest ways to create a new offer from something that is super competitive, really red ocean right where there's, there's just, I mean where it sucks to be in, where it's ... When you don't have an offer, when you're not using a stack slide, it is a race to the bottom, OK? It's whoever is willing to take the smallest margins. You're literally competing on price, that's it, because there's nothing different. When you have no offer, you have no other option but to compete on price, and that's what ends up happening inside super red oceans like that, and you've probably felt a little bit of that inside whatever MLM you're a part of. What I do is I look at my MLM, and I look at the one I'm a part of, and I look at all the pieces, and I look at all the places people are selling, and looking at the guys who are killing it, what are they selling, how are they selling it, and I start using what's called a stack slide. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go get the book Expert Secrets. Go to www.ExpertSecrets.com. They're not paying me, there's no endorsement, it's not an affiliate link, but it's seven bucks, and that book's fantastic, and what it will do is it'll teach you how to create a new offer inside of your current MLM, OK? It'll create it inside MLM in general, OK? What's cool about it is that when you create the stack slide, so it goes kind of like this. I'm trying to figure out how to say this without it being too like techno babbly, do you know what I mean? Anyway, but these are the pieces that I go through with people. Maybe I won't go through this whole thing with you right here. But anyways, the whole thing has to do with false beliefs. When you start looking at the industry and you start looking at what people are actually selling, and buying, and what they're doing, there starts to be some false beliefs about what it is that you're selling, whether it's about the product, or the opportunity, whatever those reasons are ... I used to be a door-to-door salesman. I was a door-to-door salesman and I went around, and for two summers actually I was knocking doors. I was knocking doors, and what was funny about it is it was always the same. I was actually a telemarketer too, and I was good at these jobs, and one of the reasons why I was good at the job is because what I learned and what I realized was that honestly about two or three weeks in, I started realizing that I had heard every single objection that I probably was ever going to hear, OK, it was like the same five things. Like when I was selling pest control, it was like, and this is super, super, super like MLM just so you guys know. When I was going, I was knocking doors, and I'd say, "Hey, let's get you taken care of," or whatever, and one of the objections I would always hear is, "Oh, let me talk to my spouse." How many times do you hear that in MLM? "Oh, let me talk to that neighbor first you said you talked to. Oh, let me check you guys out. Oh, is the pest control safe? Oh, is it ..." Do you know what I mean? Whatever the immediate objections were, what I started doing is I could write all those things out, and I knew what each one of those objections were. I also knew what my counter was for each one of those. OK, if you don't know what the top like five, six, seven, eight, nine objections are to your MLM, both the product and the opportunity, my guess is that you've not tried to sell it enough if you don't know what those things are. What we do then is we look through each one of those objections and we try to figure out what the top three objections are. We try to ... What we're looking for is the top false beliefs. OK, in order for me to come up with that objection, what must I be believing in order to say what I just did? Do you know what I mean? When we come up with those false beliefs, that's what we craft the whole message around, that's what we craft the whole sales message, the whole stack, the whole offer, the new opportunity, the new niche, and what it does is it lets us create a new niche out of a super red ocean. If you've not done that kind of thing, and I know I'm kind of going deep through it. People spend three days with us, paying $15,000 a piece to come sit. We had 60 people in the last one, it was a lot of fun, but ... Anyway, if you've not figured out what those false beliefs actually are, and you're struggling to sell your MLM, I would bet that that's the reason why. With this whole what and how, what do you sell and how do you sell it, understand that if you're not changing anything at all, that you really are selling into a red ocean with a red, red ocean opportunity, with a red ocean product, I mean everything you do, and the only thing you can really do is compete on number one, hustle, which is great, but number two, price, which sucks, OK? You're going to become that guy, you're going to become that guy at family reunions, you're going to become that person that everybody runs from. Anyway, that's all I'm trying to say this whole episode is that when you start thinking through your MLM, you start thinking through what it is that you're doing. I would go get the book Expert Secrets, I think I've talked about that before in here, but if you go get that book, it'll teach you how to create a new opportunity out of any really red ocean, it doesn't matter which industry you're in, and just apply it to MLM and start thinking through what is it that I actually sell? How am I selling this thing? How are the top guys actually doing it? And I bet a lot of them are not out doing home meetings and hotel meetings, and the ones that are telling you to do that, they're probably just teaching their downline to do it because it's a great lead gen for them, do you know what I mean? That's not to down them, I mean the strategy works. That's not to say that it's bad. The strategy works. But if you really want to join those top people, you're not going to home party your meeting probably your way to riches. It's not to say you can't, but oh my gosh, that is such a long road. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, that's all I got to say about that. I hope that you understand that if you can start to take your MLM and turn it into what looks like a brand new opportunity, based on the things that you're adding with it, based on the false beliefs that you're overcoming, based on you figuring out how to sell it differently, you're going to be worlds above everybody else. What are people selling that are actually successful with it, is it just really the MLM or are they offering something else with it, and how are they doing it? Is there a script that's different, is there traffic that they're getting somewhere else? Are they online? Are they strictly offline? What is it they're really doing? I would go model them. Anyway, that's all I got to say. That's heavily what the event was about the last three days. The fourth day was so tiring. I slept 10 hours two nights in a row, it was ridiculous, oh man. It's a huge amount of energy output, a lot of fun. I'm super animated as an individual. Sometimes I like try to tone it back a little bit on this podcast so you guys aren't like, "Whoa, this guy's a weirdie." But anyway, it's a lot of fun. We helped them create their whole slide presentations for a new sales message, which is great, an hour and a half presentation we helped them create. I mean it was a lot of fun, the whole thing was great, and really, really love it. We got another one coming up in January, which is super exciting. Anyway, go figure that out, and if you've not taken a look at that, it's going to be an eye opening experience, OK? What I'm inviting you to do is to take off some of the blinders that your upline may have put on you that they probably didn't know they put on you. It's not their fault, it's no one's fault, it's just part of the industry. This is marketing 101 that I'm trying to teach you. It's not so much the three phrases that make anyone want to join your downline, like I don't believe that crap, like I don't think that's true at all. What I'm telling you is let's actually pump new value into the marketplace by creating additional offers, and new offers, and new products, and new things that are there that have never existed. That way you will literally be the only one selling what you are. Does that make sense? That is a new opportunity. I'm trying to help you create that, that's what you need to make. Anyway, I'm going to keep blabbering on, but I get really animated about this topic, so much so that I'll talk about it for three straight days to people. Anyway, I hope you guys are doing great. I just wanted to pass that lesson along, and I hope guys are crushing it, and go figure that out, I'm excited. If you do figure that out, I would love to actually know what you've done that has changed the way you sell your MLM, or the opportunity, whatever it is that you're in, very, very exciting. All right guys, talk to you later, bye. Hey, thanks for listening. Please remember to subscribe and leave feedback. Would you like me to teach your own downline five simple MLM recruiting tips for free? If so, go download your free MLM Master's Pack by subscribing to this podcast at www.SecretMLMHacksRadio.com

Have you ever watched a movie and fallen in love with it, while the guy on the couch next to you thinks it's just OK? What separates us out like that? Why does Luke love Tarantino, while Gomer thinks him a coked up 17 year-old? Why does Wes Anderson do nothing for Luke, but the Cohen Brothers get his gears grooving? This conversation revolves around Spider-Man: Homecoming and the Marvel Cinematic Universe but broadens into a much more important discussion on the appeal of filmmaking as such.

In this short episode, we discuss whether or not Christians should debate in public? Is it OK? What about with unbelievers? What about with believers?

Last week, we were invited to a big, fancy party at the top of the Muse Hotel in Bangkok to (http://www.gregtodiffer.com/) netting him 325 grams of gold as a prize!   We were a little out of our league. Neither of us are Thai, and most of our audience is from someplace other than Thailand. But Thai downloads of our podcast are starting to increase significantly, so we’re happy to do our part to spread the Ricola story via podcasting. (Pretty sure we were the only ones doing that!)But back to the party, which was great! Fantastic food, an actual Swiss horn/accordion/bowl-with-a-coin-rolling-around musician, and an insane of amount of Ricola lozenges in various flavors and forms, all in their nifty new packaging. Oh, and one poor dude who was stuck in a Ricola box all party long. Which doesn’t sound all that bad, but Evo saw the same guy (or at least the same box) wandering the streets of Bangkok, spreading the message of Ricola. If you find yourself in Bangkok and want to sample some of Ricola’s wares… come to our place. We might have smuggled out more than our fair share! Or if you can’t make it to us, check out Ricola’s Thai page for more info, or just buy a box at 7-11, Tesco, Family Mart... they are everywhere! Embedd this image: https://www.instagram.com/p/BRNr1HpDxl3/?taken-by=opptravelers This is the 30th episode of the 3rd season for us. Typically, the 30th episode means we stop, take a break, and then come back with something new in a few weeks. Well… that might not happen. But it might. Hell, we don’t know. Just stay subscribed. We’ll make whatever it is we do painless for you, OK? What we aren’t doing is giving up on postcards. And hello, new recipients! Thanks for signing up. Along with all of our other supporters, you’ll be getting a postcard from Cambodia in just a few weeks. For those who haven’t yet signed up: there’s still time! We’ll grab a few extras, so  get (http://shevo.wtf/postcards) this month, next month… and so on! If you like, we can even include a little something special from the area on your card. (It’ll probably be a smudge from a Ricola lozenge, if you haven’t yet caught the theme of this show. Oh, and because it needs to be said: We were compensated to attend the event, produce this episode, and all the other stuff we did on behalf of Ricola. But Sheila really is a converted fan now! Are you a regular listener? You can hear us do our travel comedy show each week. You can (http://shevo.wtf/iheart) ... and a bunch more places. Or you can click the little player below this paragraph to just hear this episode. (But seriously, it's a good show. You'll want to get updates automatically. we promise!) Music for our show is graciously provided by the fantastic band Velella Velella. They make killer tunes, and you should buy all of their stuff. It’s fabulous! To keep up with our travels, (https://www.instagram.com/opptravelers/) … and probably a few more things. But that’ll do for now.

This episode is all me talking about what it was like to create and host Cabbages & Kings in 2015. Lots of gratitude for my listeners, identifying areas for improvement, and thinking about what might happen in 2016. No discussion of books. I talked about my reading in 2015 over on The Three Hoarsemen podcast.A few links:Discussing The Fifth Season with Troy & Khaalidah (and Troy's first appearance)Discussing Ancillary Justice with Ethan (pt. 1, pt. 2)Folklore with Mike UnderwoodComics with ParrishMiddle-Aged Women Aren't Coming of Age and a much better Rocket Talk episode with a similar premiseFangirl Happy Hour podcastGalactic Suburbia PodcastOut on a Wire (radio storytelling)Pilot (podcast of possible-podcast episodes)Cooode St. PodcastMy roundup of lots of podcasts I've listened toVision StatementContact Page (be a guest!)Wisdom of the CrowdsEpisode & Guest indexHalf-Dark PromiseEyes I Dare Not Meet In Dreams (LadyBusiness Review)A not-quite-transcript is below. These are the notes I read and occasionally ad-libbed:Navel Gazing 2015Here’s a year-end wrap up podcast. This isn’t about my reading. I did an episode of the Three Hoarsemen where I talked about that. Short version - I adored Grace of Kings, Fifth Season, Black Wolves & Sorceror of the Wildeeps, while being able to see flaws in a couple of them. This is a podcast where I look back at what Cabbages & Kings is and where I’d like to go in 2016. What I’m trying to do, what I’ve done so far, what went well & poorly, and where the show might go in the future. If you don’t want that episode, bail out now, and I’ll be back in 2016 with plenty of new episodes where I talk about books and stories.OK - What am I trying to doWhat went really wellWhere is there room for improvementWhat cool stuff could I do with a podcast in the future?What am I trying to doI started Cabbages & Kings on the theory that there are a lot of science fiction & fantasy podcasts out there, but there’s a kind of disappointing sameness that I felt left a hole for (among other things) a show that focused readers talking to readers about books, with minimal chit-chat and an editor at the least cutting out fumbles and uhms. And I figured I could make that.It’s worth saying right here that this isn’t either unique or necessarily a “better” format than others. Friends hanging out talking about what they love is basically a genre in and out of science fiction and fantasy: look at For Colored Nerds, Fan Bros Show, or the Accidental Tech Podcast. In the genre space, I love inviting the ladies of Fangirl Happy Hour and Galactic Suburbia and the Gentlemen of The Three Hoarsemen into my ears every few weeks just to sit & converse for a while. Arguably Cooode St. is a similar format podcast. I think the best Writing Excuses episodes are not only tighter than Cabbages & Kings, but usually inspiring and insightful even listening as just a reader. I know that Sword and Laser has created a community around their reading experience, and I think Mahvesh Murad is a fascinating interviewer whether or not I’ve heard of the author she’s got on. I’m also periodically reminded how many podcasts there are out there that I don’t know about. So Cabbages & Kings isn’t an attempt to be the “best” science fiction and fantasy podcast out there, just fill a hole I saw.According to my slightly more aspirational vision statement: Cabbages & Kings is an attempt to create exactly the podcast that I want to listen to. I want a podcast that makes science fiction and fantasy readers smile, pump their fists in recognition, and pause to consider a new idea. I want an excuse to work out ideas that are in my head and to interview a diverse group of other thoughtful readers. Cabbages & Kings is my attempt to contribute to the speculative fiction conversation in the format that I love the most. With Cabbages & Kings I hope to focus on books and stories that I love to read, and the experiences and reactions of other readers. All of this in under 30 minutes per episode, ending with a nostalgic look back at a favorite book.So, basically - I hate blogging because I get bogged down when trying to write words. I want to put a focus on the reading experience that readers have, and I’d like to talk about books in a way that can both gush about what we love and also apply a critical eye. I’ve found that the critical reading I like the most teaches me something about how to approach any new book or media, and I hoped to create some of that.What went really well?I’m going to take a moment to cheer for a moment! I put out 22 episodes in the 34 weeks between May 13 and the end of the year, not counting this one. That’s pretty cool!I really, really enjoyed having Ethan on to talk about Ancillary Justice - I think we got at elements of the ways Artificial Intelligence and Identity are handled that I didn’t see discussed very many places, but apparently there’s a philosophy class using Ancillary Justice to talk about those very topics, so clearly we (by which I mean Ethan) saw something interesting there.Troy Wiggins has been on twice - the podcast that we did with Khaalidah on The Fifth Season was a highlight of this year, and certainly in the first few months, our discussion of his history with the genre was one of my favorite episodes.Talking Short Stories with Nick Mamatas was great, and the discussion of folklore with Mike Underwood was fun to do & seemed to touch a few people when it came out.I was expecting to enjoy having fun & interesting people come on the podcast to talk about books. I was not expecting just how enjoyable it would be. Podcast recording evenings are some of my favorites. Getting a message out of the blue from Maureen Speller (who’s writing in Strange Horizons I’d recently discovered) letting me know very politely that I’d missed the point of the Buried Giant (which I confessed to at the time) and could we talk about it led to an almost two hour conversation, two of my favorite episodes, and a deeper appreciation of the book which is really the point of so much of this! You may have mixed feelings about the endless discussions of Grace of Kings, but for me, sorting out my thoughts about the book has been delightful. Plus I got to actually talk to Kate Elliott about the book (episode to come), and will hopefully get a chance to go over some of the themes with Ken Liu once I’ve finally put out the whole series of deep dives. So anyone out there thinking of starting a podcast - you get an excuse to ask your heroes and/or the smartest people you know to talk about your favorite topics for a while. It’s pretty awesome.Where is there room for improvement?So - I’ve put out some episodes I’m really proud of. I’ve gotten to have the thrilling experience of talking about fascinating topics & books with amazing people. Have I emphasized enough just how cool that it? It’s awesome!There’s something Tobias Buckell said a while ago on Twitter that I keep going back to (and I’m quoting from memory here, so hopefully getting the spirit if not the words) - that he hopes to be able to look back at his writing from 6 months ago and see flaws in it. That’s a sign he’s improving as an author. I haven’t listened back to many early episodes, but even week to week I find that when I listen back to the episode, I can usually see room for improvement. I tend to think about four areas where the show can get better. One is guests & topics which I’ll talk about more in a minute, but three are basically production related:First, there’s the actual interview. Do I hear my guest. Am I giving them space to talk & gather their ideas when that’s what’s needed. Can I listen and follow up on an interesting track. If there’s something *I* don’t understand, can I push them to be more clear? Notably, I had my mom to talk about middle-aged women as protagonists early on and was so invested in how *I* read (looking at worldbuilding and seeing the protagonist as an opportunity to reveal that world to the reader) that I didn’t really do a great job with the interview. (I’ll note that there’s a Rocket Talk episode with Kate Elliott & Emma Newman that touches on middle-aged women in genre stories which is worth listening to and which touches on some of the same topics). Listening back to the Ancillary Justice episode, I also didn’t really follow up on the most interesting things Ethan was saying. Live & Learn. I don’t think I’ve done a really a great job on any interviews yet, but I have at least learned to pause when I’m uncomfortable or confused & pursue a better line, or keep the guest talking. Editing afterwards ... Luxury! Luxury!Quick aside - in the Three Hoarsemen episode I was on at the end of the year with Andrea Phillips, the guys and Andrea did a really good job of pulling back threads that had been mentioned earlier and either building on them or questioning the premise. They heard each other, applied those statements to their experiences, and looked for common ground or interesting differences. It’s a skill or an art or something that I’m still learning the knack of, but at least I hear it sometimes now.Fine, so I’ve got an interview. How do I present it to you listeners? I’m not good at sticking to a time limit during the interview, so I’ve often got over an hour of audio that I’d like to turn into a 30 minute episode (which is about 28 minutes of content, and usually the significant book at the end chew up 1 to 3 minutes). I’ve been working on putting together a story structure. That was there in the first of the two Buried Giant Episodes as well as the comics episode that just went up. Ideally, I’m able to set up the interview with a story of who the guest is, what we’re going to talk about, and what the story of the interview is. Something like: After mostly reading prose fiction, I tried out a comic, and the experience was Exciting! and there were some similarities in the experience but there were important differences between the two media! This, ideally, gives you a hook to tell you why you care about the episode & what you’re listening for. I’m cribbing here extensively from a pretty neat podcast that Jessica Abel is putting out to support her book Out on the Wire: Storytelling Secrets of the Modern Masters of Radio, which has been really helpful in thinking about how to put out a podcast. Brief aside - the terrifying thing about doing heavyhanded editing is that I’m taking the words of someone I was talking to and trying very hard to understand and elicit responses from, and then I’m rearranging those words. And that means there’s the possibility that I’m misrepresenting them. Or missing something they thought was really important that I thought was less important. That’s already happened once (fortunately the guest took an early listen, something I offer everyone who comes on and suggested a couple tweaks), but if the best unanticipated surprise is the sheer joy I’m getting from having an excuse to sit & talk books with amazing people, the scariest unanticipated piece of this is taking other people’s words in my hands and doing something with them.So, thing 1 that I can still improve (that sounds so much better than stuff I’m often sucking at) is getting an interesting interview with my guest. Thing 2 is shaping the audio I’ve got into a story that’ll keep you engaged and set up the key moments or insights from the story.Thing 3 is actual post production audio. Making sure that things aren’t TOO LOUD or *too soft* and that the guest and I sound similar and transitions aren’t really ragged and all of the other stuff that you can do to work with audio to make it sound good. Despite growing up on NPR, Cabbages and Kings is never going to be something like Radiolab. I know I’ve had some moments that sound pretty awful, though. The Eye of the Tiger corny audio experiment was … a corny experiment. Was it awful? I only discovered compression (which helps make soft stuff louder and loud stuff softer) recently - before that I was balancing every second or two manually and that led to some really weird volume shifts. Truncate silence has also been a good tool to learn. I’m pretty sure I’ve still got a lot to learn about audio production. Problem is my preferred podcast client (shout out to Overcast!) does some silence truncating and audio leveling, plus I listen at about 1-and-a-quarter-speed (there are way too many great podcasts out there - 59 unlistened-to-episodes at last count.So, good audio? Bad audio? I probably couldn’t tell you. I am going to order a pop filter, though. And hopefully in 2016 the basic “two or more people are talking to each other and it should sound like they are having a conversation without distracting background noise and plosives” will get better. If anyone has advice on the technical aspects of getting better audio, please, please let me know.OK, so, there are the three pieces of “interviewing people”, “making you the listener care about the interview” and “making the actual sounds good”. All of those can be improved. I’m pretty sure I have improved all of these since the early episodes, and still has a way to go.Now let’s talk a bit about who comes on the show and what we talk about. I’m a pretty firm believer that the conversation is richer and better when many people from many backgrounds are talking. Episode 16 includes a bunch of us talking about how we got into science fiction & fantasy and making fun of my notion that reading Tolkien and then a bunch of Tolkien-clones from the 80s and 90s is the cliched way to engage with the genre. (Show notes will be full of links if you want to follow any rabbit holes). “Diversity” is sometimes a buzzword that hides as much as it obscures, but looking especially over time at the race, gender, and other backgrounds of the people I have on, as well as the topics we’ve chosen can be illuminating. So lets look back at the year:In 2015, I put out 22 episodes before this one. Two solo episodes & twenty with guests. Ethan, AFishtrap, Troy, and Maureen were all on twice.So 16 guests. 8 guys, 8 women. No one who identifies as genderqueer as far as I know.4 who weren’t white, and they were all black and american3 guests not in the US - one Canadian, one British, one american living in GermanyOne thing I’m trying to do is get out of my usual Twitter book discussion bubble. 6 Guests didn’t come on because I follow & chat with them about books on Twitter, though some of them are part of many of the same conversations I am.That gender parity was actually a pleasant surprise. All of the other numbers make we want to have a show that pushes to talk to more people outside the US, outside my comfortable Twitter bubble, and more people from historically marginalized backgrounds. I’ve got a stake in the ground this year. We’ll see how things change next year.So, what’d we talk about - Broadly speaking, we had some general discussions about reading history and common interests, like worldbuilding with Anna and small presses with Shana, focused discussion on specific topics like Short Fiction with Nick and Folklore with Mike, and then deep dives on specific books - The Fifth Season, Grace of Kings (sorry, there’s going to be more of this next year), Ancillary Justice, and The Buried Giant. These deep dives took up 8 of the 20 episodes with guests. Of the four books we went deep one, 2 were by women and two by men, and Ann Leckie was the only white author. The show right now *feels* to me like it’s heavy on in-depth book discussion, mostly because I let those get out of control and have so much great stuff to run. It’s a bit light on themed discussions, though there have been more of those recently (the discussion of Saga & Comics, Folklore and short fiction). In my head, I’d like to be getting about a third of the episodes to explore a theme or subgenre while referencing a few different exemplars, about a third going deep on a book (hopefully revealing some more universally applicable critical approaches) and about a third a grab bag of other reading experiences, and I don’t think I’m there right now.I’ll note that I interviewed 4 of the 5 white guys who came on the show about an in-depth topic - Nick on Short Stories, Aidan on Cover Art, Mike on Folklore and Carl on Queer Romance in the genre. All of these were really good episodes (in fact, Mike’s folklore episode consistently comes up when I ask people about what they’ve liked), but in contrast to the “general background” discussions with Troy and Akil, or the more back-and-forth dialog on worldbuilding that Anna and I had, there’s a trend that white guys come on to be experts at a thing. That’s something interesting to notice that I’d like not to see when I’m doing next year’s roundup.OK enough navel gazing about who talked about what. What am I thinking about going forward?I have a bunch of interviews done & waiting to be edited. An avalanche-load. A heavy mountain. A wince-inducing pile. It’s a little terrifying. I’m coming close to the sense that I have a process for these interviews - I listen to them, make notes, pick out key quotes, figure out the structure, then piece them back together. This process worked well when talking Saga with Parrish, so hopefully it’ll carry me through this batch & going forward. Content isn’t a problem. Figuring out a schedule I can keep is.So is finding guests. Especially finding guests outside of Twitter, outside the US, outside the usual suspects you might hear elsewhere. Maybe even guests who don’t share my political ideology but do share my love of this genre. I’ve got a lot of room to find interesting people whose voices I’m not hearing right now. If you are one, please let me know - there’s a contact form on the website, or send an email to contact@cabbagesandkings.audio.I’d also like to try an experiment with putting together a show that doesn’t require an interview. Skipping the logistics of getting 2 or 3 people together means a back-and-forth is harder, but there’s less chance of talking over each other and no need to navigate timezones. There’s a new link on the website: cabbagesandkings.audio/wisdom-of-the-crowds with hyphens between all those words (oh just check the show notes), where right now I’ve got a bunch of questions up about Dune because 2016 will be the 51st anniversary of it’s publication so this is the perfect time to do a Dune retrospective. Pick a few questions, answer them by recording your voice in the voice recorder of your choice. Share the audio via email, dropbox link, google drive or whatever else you please, and I may include the audio in an upcoming episode.This doesn’t have to be crystal-clear NPR quality audio. I’d suggest not recording outside in the wind, but talking into a phone headset that you’re not nervously playing with and moving around as I so often do would be fine. If you want to get fancy, real professional NPR reporters cover themselves up with coats or hotel sheets to record on the road. But record the audio & send it in. I’d love to hear what you think of Dune and put together an episode with wisdom gleaned from my listeners.I’m also often without a memory of a treasured book to close an episode, so if you’ve got one of those, let me know.Other experiments that may come - there’s a new show called Pilot where Stephanie Foo of This American Life puts out a single episode of something that *could* turn into a full podcast - a bunch of starter ideas. It got me thinking about what some of the other sounds missing from the genre podcasting sphere might be, so I may be trying a few things, including possibly a week or so of running very short morning bulletins. We’ll see.I’ve toyed with the notion of running reviews on the site. A crazy idea since I mostly don’t understand the point of a review, but I try to remember that “I don’t understand” can be an opportunity to learn, so maybe if I have smart people write & read reviews of books, I’ll get the point. Maybe?I’d kind of like to edit two other people talking about something, so take me the interviewer out of the equation. If you’d be interested in that, let me know.I’d like to be reading more short fiction next year, so maybe I’ll figure out how to incorporate that into the podcast. We’ll see.I’ve been hoping that after 25 or so episodes I’ll at least see a bit of a plateau. It’s comforting to think of Tobias Buckell’s “looking back & seeing room for improvement means I’m getting better”, but right now it also means that I kind of sucked at some aspects of this podcasting gig when I started. Hopefully sometime soonish I’ll have to actually work at getting better because I’ll have swiped the low-hanging fruit of awfulness. Then again, Parrish mentioned something about finding your stride around episode 100, so maybe I have a longer slog ahead of me.Regardless, starting Cabbages and Kings this year has been an incredibly fun and rewarding experience. I’ve had people contact me out of the blue because they liked what I was making & wanted to talk about books. I’ve got an excuse to talk to readers I respect and authors whose books I admire. Apparently people in Australia, Israel, and England all listen to the show, so that’s pretty cool! I have this awesome art of a cabbage with a crown on its head that looks badass and not like a destructive meteor anymore which was draft one. I’m really enjoying this. I’m really enjoying this in large part because every once in a while someone stops by the contact form or twitter to let me know that they’re listening & enjoyed something. I think I’ve only dropped the ball on a guest once, sorry about that. I’d love to hear from you. I’d love to hear what you like about the show. I’d love to hear what I can do better. I’d love to talk to you about this genre. If you’re listening now, you’re either somewhere without access to your podcast player controls, or a pretty dedicated listener, so let me know what I can do better. Next year will hopefully have a look ahead at reading plans, a discussion of representation within the genre, an episode on Uprooted, more Grace of Kings, quite possibly an episode on The Just City if I can bring myself to finish it, and hopefully a whole lot of other things that I can’t anticipate right now. No navel-gazing until the end of next year, though.I’ll close the episode by recommending two short stories. From early this year, Malon Edwards’ Half-Dark Promise in Shimmer magazine, set in an alternate Chicago and a girl with a steam-clock heart who needs to get home through the half-dark. Beautiful voice and use of dialect, and Sunny Moraine’s “Eyes I Dare Not Meet In Dreams” about women who’ve been fridged returning just to watch us. I’m not much of a horror reader, and I don’t know that either of these are really horror stories, but they’re tense, wonderful, and well worth a read. When I dive into short fiction next year, I’m hoping to be able to discover gems like thse on my own.Thanks for listening. Tweet me, email me, rate me on iTunes? Is that something people actually do? Recommend a show that you enjoyed to a friend who reads science fiction. And if I don’t have an episode that friend would like, tell me why not, or tell them to come on the show. Happy 2015, and hoping 2016 will be even better.Thanks!

Today I’m pleased to be joined by the author of the most comprehensive and well-received book on Google AdWords in print - it’s called Advanced Google AdWords. Some of the brands that he’s worked with include Amazon, Yahoo, and Business.com. He’s the co-founder of Ad-Alysis - welcome to DMR, Brad Geddes! On this episode of Digital Marketing Radio we discuss  whether Google AdWords is to expensive for most businesses, with topics including: Is it really possible for a regular business to bring in lots of profitable traffic from Google AdWords nowadays - or is it much more difficult than it used to be? What are some of the biggest mistakes that you see companies making with Google AdWords campaigns? Is it more difficult for certain industries? What’s the secret behind achieving a great quality score? On a limited budget is it best to start with exact match keywords, or are there other just as effective ways to get going? Should a business use specialist landing page pages from companies like Unbounce or is a regular website OK? What are the best things to split test? [Tweet ""If your site doesn't convert you shouldn't spend any money on paid search." @bgtheory"] Software I couldn't live without What software do you currently use in your business that if someone took away from you, it would significantly impact your marketing success? AdWords Editor [PPC Ad Editor] Bing Editor [PPC Ad Editor] Excel [Microsoft spreadsheet software] AdAlysis [Ad testing] Windows Live Writer [Blogging tool] What software don't you use, but you've heard good things about, and you've intended to try at some point in the near future? Marin [PPC campaign management software] My number 1 takeaway What's the single most important step from our discussion that our listeners need to take away and implement in their businesses? Ensure your website converts for traffic you send it. It doesn't matter what your medium is. Email's great. Social's great. SEO is great. Paid search is great. If your website can't convert it, who cares?