Podcast appearances and mentions of dawn serra

My guest today is Clinical Counsellor, relationship therapist, and fat activist, Dawn Serra. Dawn offers trauma-informed, weight-neutral, radical mental health care, particularly for those in larger and marginalized bodies. I super enjoyed this conversation about fatphobia, anti-Blackness, ableism, disability, perimenopause, Ozempic and cultivating a kinder relationship with our ever-changing bodies.   Connect with Dawn at tendandcultivate.com   Follow her on Facebook and Instagram     Referenced in this episode   Mia Mingus, disability rights activist and contributor to Octavia's Brood with her story, Hollow   Gloria Lucas of Nalgona Positivity Pride    Sabrina Strings and her book, Fearing the Black Body    Da'Shaun Harrison, Belly of the Beast    Sonalee Rashatwar @thefatsextherapist   Tressie McMillan Cottom, THICK and Other Essays   Culture Work on TikTok and Substack   Betty Martin   Dr. Asher Larmie, The Fat Doctor   (their Ozempic masterclass is listed here)   Zena Sharman, The Care We Dream of: Liberatory and Transformative Approaches to LGBTQ+ Health   Ep229: What it Feels Like For A Girl with Emelia Symington Fedy on sex and pressure   Ash of The Fat Lip - A Fat Liberation Podcast came up with the infinifat classification - details about the history are here: --- https://fluffykittenparty.com/2021/06/01/fategories-understanding-smallfat-fragility-the-fat-spectrum/ --- https://cherrymax.medium.com/community-origins-of-the-term-superfat-9e98e1b0f201   Covid PSA:   WHO technical document   University of Bristol study   Elevator Covid transmission study   ☎️ Leave feedback for this episode! ☎️    Check out The Spirited Kitchen: Recipes and Rituals for the Wheel of the Year   Learn more about The Numinous Network

We are taught early in our lives to not trust our bodies, to ignore their signals, and to turn away from pleasure. Dawn Serra (she/her), a therapist and coach, believes we can live more joyful and fulfilled lives by returning to our bodies by building body trust, embracing unconditional permission, and developing pleasure practices.Dawn Serra has dedicated her life to unraveling the cultural stories that impact our relationship to our pleasure, our bodies, and how we relate with each other. Dawn is considered a leader in the field of sexuality and relationships, with a focus on pleasure for people recovering from eating disorders and those in fat bodies. She is a counsellor in British Columbia, a sex & relationship coach working with clients from around the world, a Certified Body Trust® Provider, speaker, podcaster, facilitator, consultant, and entrepreneur. She is also the co-founder of Tend and Cultivate Counselling, Inc, which is the first group therapeutic practice in Canada specifically dedicated to providing non-stigmatizing mental health care to people in larger bodies.Mentioned in this episode: “Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls,” Body Trust, “The Art of Receiving and Giving,” Kai Cheng Thom, and “Pleasure Activism.”Please connect with Dawn on her website.This episode's poem is “Other Body Prayer” by Dominik Parisien.After recording the interview, Sophia asks each guest 10 unexpected, unrehearsed questions designed to go even deeper. Check it out by subscribing through Apple Podcast Subscriptions or Patreon for as little as $2.You can connect with Fat Joy on our website, Instagram, and YouTube (full video episodes here!). Want to share the fat love? Please rate this podcast and give it a joyful review.Our thanks to Chris Jones and AR Media for keeping this podcast looking and sounding joyful.

If you've been running a business in the online space for any length of time, you'll know that a lot of people use outdated marketing methods when promoting things like summits—methods that, quite frankly, feel manipulative rather than relational. In today's episode of the Movement Makers podcast, I invite Dawn Serra, CEO of Radical Summits, onto the show to talk about how entrepreneurs can create successful, ethical, and inclusive online events and summits that prioritize relationship-building over getting butts in seats.  When Dawn speaks, everything she says is gold. We also talk about manipulative marketing practices, anti-capitalist pricing, accessibility, and why list building shouldn't be our only focus.

In this episode, we dive into childhood trauma something that now more than ever people are struggling with. Navigating through our childhood and into adulthood is where we find the most struggles. I elaborate on personal experience and general examples of the hardships that childhood trauma can have on a person. “There is no timestamp on trauma. There isn't a formula that you can insert yourself into to get from horror to healing. Be patient. Take up space. Let your journey be the balm.” – Dawn Serra

Therapeutic sex/relationship coach and Certified Body Trust® Provider, Dawn Serra, joins Signe to discuss what our relationship to food has to do with sex, why “safety” is a prerequisite to pleasure, sex and changing bodies, as well as the best advice for a couple with different libidos.  Dawn Serra specializes in pleasure, body trust, and boundaries. She is currently completing her Master of Counseling degree and will soon be opening a therapeutic private practice in British Columbia specializing in trauma, body, and relationships specifically for people in bigger bodies. Dawn believes that we heal “in relationship, ” and her work is about creating a space where people can explore the kind of healing they are dreaming of without having to do it alone, that's rooted in practices of playfulness, curiosity, empathy, and imperfection. To learn more about Dawn's work, follow her on instagram @dawn_serra and visit https://www.dawnserra.com/about/.

In this playful and potent conversation with pleasure expert, Dawn Serra, we explore the intricacies of intimacy and sex. This conversation is often considered taboo which is why we tend to struggle and reject the amount of pleasure we could experience. Dawn and I talk about the hard stuff and offer ideas and thoughts on how to discover deeper connection in our lives.   To grab the show notes including all the information on today's guest, go to www.ThaisSky.com/podcast/170.   If you like what you heard, it would mean the world to me if you took a moment to leave a review and share this podcast with your community.   Thank you for your generous attention. XO Thaís   Socials // Website: www.ThaisSky.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/IamThaisSky Instagram: www.instagram.com/IamThaisSky

Fat-positive sex and relationship coach and fellow podcast host Dawn Serra returns to the podcast to discuss how the COVID-19 pandemic is affecting our relationships with food and highlighting existing social injustices, how diet culture robs us of our ability to embody pleasure, desirability politics and its links to diet culture and oppressive beauty standards, navigating romantic relationships while in recovery, and so much more. Plus, Christy answers a listener question about how to tell whether your eating and exercise are intuitive or compulsive amid COVID-19 stress. (This episode originally aired on May 11, 2020.) Dawn Serra has dedicated her life to unraveling the cultural stories that impact our relationship to our pleasure, our bodies, and our lives. Dawn is considered a leader in the field of sexuality and relationships, with a focus in pleasure for people recovering from eating disorders and those in fat bodies. She is a therapeutic sex & relationship coach, a Certified Body Trust® Provider, speaker, podcaster, facilitator, consultant, and entrepreneur. Host of the weekly feminist podcast, Sex Gets Real, and creator of the free annual online conference, Explore More Summit, Dawn has interviewed dozens of thought leaders from around the world. As a white, cis, middle class, queer, fat, survivor, Dawn's work is a fiercely compassionate invitation for each of us to deepen our relationships with our bodies and our pleasure as an antidote to the trauma, disconnection, and isolation so many of us feel. Your pleasure matters. Your body is wise. Dawn's work is all about creating spaces and places for you to explore what that means on your terms. Find her online at DawnSerra.com. Subscribe to our newsletter, Food Psych Weekly, to keep getting new weekly Q&As and other new content while the podcast is on hiatus! If you're ready to break free from diet culture once and for all, come check out Christy's Intuitive Eating Fundamentals online course. You'll get all your questions answered in an exclusive monthly podcast, plus ongoing support in our private community forum and dozens of hours of other great content. Christy's first book, Anti-Diet, is available wherever you get your books. Order online at christyharrison.com/book, or at local bookstores across North America, the UK, Australia, and New Zealand. Grab Christy's free guide, 7 simple strategies for finding peace and freedom with food, for help getting started on the anti-diet path. For full show notes and a transcript of this episode, go to christyharrison.com/foodpsych. Ask your own question about intuitive eating, Health at Every Size, or eating disorder recovery at christyharrison.com/questions.

Therapeutic sex & relationship coach Dawn Serra has been such an inspiration to my own thinking on pleasure, and it was a joy to be in conversation with her in this episode. Dawn and I chatted about reconnecting with pleasure, the importance of supporting the people you love in what feels good for them, the both/and nature of what our bodies are capable of experiencing, and more. You can find the show notes and a full transcript of this episode at https://shohrehdavoodi.com/99.

Building an intimate relationship often needs all parties involved to show some level of intimacy. To open up and let others in is being vulnerable but in order to do that there needs to be things like trust and acceptance which happen to be key factors in building intimacy. So in this episode we visit how vulnerability and intimacy go hand in hand and how they impacted our weekend trip away to Bend, Oregon. For more information on intimacy here are a few places to start:8 Books on Sex and Intimacy, recommended by sex educator Dawn Serra. This list includes inclusive, empowering titles such as “Ecstasy Is Necessary” by Barbara Carrellas.5 Relationship Books That Will Profoundly Change the Way You Love, a list compiled by relationship coach Kyle Benson. This list includes books that aren’t only focused on sex and romance, like the self-development book “SuperBetter” by Jane McGonigal.Consider individual and relationship therapy. By working with a therapist one-on-one, a family therapist, or a couples counselor, you can get some personalized insight on intimacy. Here’s information on finding a therapist and some affordable therapy options for every budget.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Please help us help others by hitting that "follow" or "subscribe" button and leaving us a 5 star rating and review on whatever platform you listen on. It really helps new listeners find us. If you want some more of Bella and Monsuta head over to our Patreon page for bonus episodes and to join our Polyam Fam Facebook group! And of course you can reach out to us all over social media!For additional episodes and content, come join our Patreon!Follow our Facebook page called Polyamory: Get Your Heart On.Find the link to our episode and share your comments about the show.Our Instagram is @TalkYourPolyOff.For the kinkier polyamorists, cum join our TYPO Kinkster Fetlife GroupAlso, check out our Twitter, @TalkYourPolyOff.You can also hit up our website and bookmark it so you can watch us as we grow. ;)Finally,As mentioned a moment ago, we welcome listener input, feel free to send us an email with your thoughts at talkyourpolyoff@gmail.comorText us or leave us a voicemail!TYPO Phone (209) 536-TYPO (8976)

Body-positive sex coach and fellow podcast host Dawn Serra joins us to talk about the social currency that comes with dieting and pursuing weight loss, her work in sexuality and how it intersects with fat activism, body image struggles within sexual experiences, how weight discrimination affects people in larger bodies, thin privilege, the good-fatty/bad-fatty dichotomy, cultivating curiosity with food and pleasure, and so much more! Plus, Christy answers a listener question about gender dysphoria and disordered eating. This episode was originally published on January 29, 2018. Sex is a social skill. Dawn Serra speaks it, writes it, teaches it, and she helps you learn how to develop it. Committed to ending sexual and bodily shame, Dawn is the creator and host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real as well as the radical online summit, Explore More. In addition to working one-on-one with clients around pleasure, desire, and connection, she also lectures at colleges and universities on sex, relationships, and body politics. It's not all work though! In her downtime, Dawn can be found making up absurd games with her husband or reading a great book with her cats. Find her online at DawnSerra.com. For full show notes and a transcript of this episode, go to christyharrison.com/foodpsych. Ask your own question about intuitive eating, Health at Every Size, or eating disorder recovery at christyharrison.com/questions. Christy's book, Anti-Diet, is available wherever you get your books. Order online at christyharrison.com/book, or at local bookstores across North America, the UK, Australia, and New Zealand. Grab Christy's free guide, 7 simple strategies for finding peace and freedom with food, for some ideas of how to get started on the anti-diet path. If you're ready to break free from diet culture once and for all, come check out Christy's Intuitive Eating Fundamentals online course.

This week I spoke with sex coach and educator, Dawn Serra. We talk consent, and sex positivity and how we can foster these things in ourselves as well as model them for our children and our families. We talk about honing the skill of sex even from a young age, and why ignoring these conversations can really be harmful to the human collective in the long run.

Fat-positive sex and relationship coach and fellow podcast host Dawn Serra returns to the podcast to discuss how the COVID-19 pandemic is affecting our relationships with food and highlighting existing social injustices, how diet culture robs us of our ability to embody pleasure, desirability politics and its links to diet culture and oppressive beauty standards, navigating romantic relationships while in recovery, and so much more. Plus, Christy answers a listener question about how to tell whether your eating and exercise are intuitive or compulsive amid COVID-19 stress. Dawn Serra has dedicated her life to unraveling the cultural stories that impact our relationship to our pleasure, our bodies, and our lives. Dawn is considered a leader in the field of sexuality and relationships, with a focus in pleasure for people recovering from eating disorders and those in fat bodies. She is a therapeutic sex & relationship coach, a Certified Body Trust® Provider, speaker, podcaster, facilitator, consultant, and entrepreneur. Host of the weekly feminist podcast, Sex Gets Real, and creator of the free annual online conference, Explore More Summit, Dawn has interviewed dozens of thought leaders from around the world. As a white, cis, middle class, queer, fat, survivor, Dawn's work is a fiercely compassionate invitation for each of us to deepen our relationships with our bodies and our pleasure as an antidote to the trauma, disconnection, and isolation so many of us feel. Your pleasure matters. Your body is wise. Dawn's work is all about creating spaces and places for you to explore what that means on your terms. Find her online at DawnSerra.com. This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp online counseling. Go to betterhelp.com/christy for a 7-day free trial to connect with a great therapist from the comfort and safety of home. Christy's new book, Anti-Diet, is available wherever you get your books! Order online at christyharrison.com/book, or at local bookstores across North America, the UK, Australia, and New Zealand. Grab Christy's free guide, 7 simple strategies for finding peace and freedom with food, to get started on the anti-diet path. If you're ready to break free from diet culture once and for all, come check out Christy's Intuitive Eating Fundamentals online course. Ask your own question about intuitive eating, Health at Every Size, or eating disorder recovery at christyharrison.com/questions. For full show notes and a transcript of this episode, go to christyharrison.com/foodpsych.

I have a super special podcast episode for you today! I would be remiss if I didn't talk about the shit show that is COVID-19 and so here is an episode to help you cope with all of the fatphobic memes, all of the WhatsApp messages from your mum telling you that if you put a cucumber up your bum you won't get sick, all of the weird feelings around food and your body. Phew, it's A LOT to cope with right now. I am joined by guests; sex therapist Dawn Serra, plus-size personal trainer Louise Green and body image coach Summer Innanen (who also happen to be my friends from Vancouver!). Yay. We will be talking about overcoming food scarcity feelings, fighting negative body thoughts, fat positive self-care, and lots of other things to make your brain happy. Episode show notes: http://www.fiercefatty.com/023 Fat-Posi, Anti-Diet COVID-19 Resilience Resource PDF and Video: http://tiny.cc/fiercefattyfb  

tl;dr We are talking vaginal discharge, FGM or genital cutting scars, cheating when a partner has Alzheimers, and how to teach your kids the importance of pleasure with food. Power in Pleasure, my 5-week online course all about pleasure is now enrolling. The next cohort starts March 22nd, so do not miss it! Especially now with the news cycle and the fear. Spending some dedicated time for 5 weeks, plus 6 intimate group calls, to explore pleasure and safety is sooo important. Check out the details and enroll now. First up - BE SURE TO SIGN-UP FOR THE BODY TRUST SUMMIT!!! There are still 3 days left which means NINE free talks to see, and there is a 90-minute Parenting with Body Trust panel on Tuesday, March 17th that is a MUST for parents and caregivers of small children. Register, for free, now because it's entirely online and ends March 17th. Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week's bonus will be at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. Enjoy! Also, I love your emails. Send your questions my way! You can use the contact form at dawnserra.com. On to the episode! I Sense You Are Stronger Than Me wrote in asking about vaginal discharge. Occasionally, especially after sex, ISYASTM will have thick, white discharge and they are embarrassed to go to the doctor to get it checked. Is it normal? What is it? I share a few articles with you about the ways our discharge can change over the month and the impact that condom-less intercourse with a penis can have on vaginal pH and discharge. Links to all the articles mentioned in this episode are at dawnserra.com/ep298. Next up, North is struggling because they have a lovely partner they've been with a year. Everything is fantastic. The problem? North's partner experienced genital cutting (many people know it as FGM or FGC) and the scars on their partner's genitals trigger a disgust response. North isn't disgusted by their partner, but by the evidence of the violence that was done to them. How can they move past it all? Donald Alone wrote in concerned that he is cheating. He is in his 80s, and his wife has Alzheimers and is in a memory care facility. Donald recently met a woman who, while married has been left by her husband, and the two of them are hitting it off. They've kissed and they are wondering if what they've done is considered cheating. Finally, Eating Momma loves the idea of eating for pleasure and wants to help teach her 9-year-old daughter the importance of pleasure around food. How does she do that? A huge thanks to the Vocal Few for their song in the opening and closing of the episode and to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Stream it on Spotify Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Coming soon! at dawnserra.com/ep298

tl;dr Are sexual preferences changeable? What if someone really just doesn't like short men or fat women? And what should a lesbian do if she wants sex with men? First up - BE SURE TO SIGN-UP FOR THE BODY TRUST SUMMIT!!! It's going to be incredible and challenging and so so so powerful. I'm not only a speaker but I'm also working behind the scenes with Alex to produce it for Be Nourished. Seven days of talks on healing our relationship with food and body? Yes please. Register, for free, now because it's entirely online and kicks off March 11th. Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week's bonus is an erotica reading. It's a hot Daddy/girl story that takes place in the woods with flogging and whips and all sorts of yumminess. Hear it over at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. Enjoy! Also, I love your emails. Send your questions my way! You can use the contact form at dawnserra.com. Oh, and be sure to join the next Power in Pleasure course. It's enrolling now and starts March 22nd. On to the episode! First up, I share some beautiful words by someone named jedidiahjenkins. I shared the post on the Sex Gets Real Facebook page. It's all about friendship and love. Next, I'm running an experiment. Do you love mail as much as I do? Want me to write you a letter? Well, I want to write to you! If that's you, fill out the form (link is at dawnserra.com/ep295) and we'll see what happens. The form, at least for now, will be open until early March. I have no idea how many of you will want this! And then it's on to your emails. Paul wrote in asking about preferences. Can't people just not like skinny guys or short guys or fat women? After all, he suggests our preferences are personal, so can't people just not like or like certain bodies? Strap in because we are doing a really deep and wide exploration of all the factors that impact our "personal" preferences. As part of that exploration, I share some pieces from Imran Siddiquee's TEDx talk. Head to dawnserra.com/ep295 because I highly recommend checking out Imran's talk and his writing and essays in general. But this question begs of us - how can we all do better? Because it's those with the most privilege that are most resistant to examining their preferences and stories, so I invite us into different ways of relating with each other. I can't wait for you to hear it. Then, Curious Little Rabbit wants to know what she should do. She's a lesbian who hasn't had sex with men in 15 years, but lately she's been having lots of fantasies about it. Should she find a guy and give it a try? If so, where can she find some options in Houston, Texas? Be sure to tune in next week for Part 1 of 2 with my interview with Christy Harrison from the Food Psych podcast. We talk pleasure, desire, bodies, and her new book, "Anti-Diet". A huge thanks to the Vocal Few for their song in the opening and closing of the episode and to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Stream it on Spotify Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Head to dawnserra.com/ep295

tl;dr Can you change who you're sexually attracted to? Is someone gay for getting blowjobs from a guy? Is it OK to cheat with a sex worker?   Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week's bonus is several Am I The Asshole posts over at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. I want to know who you think is an asshole and who isn't, so come join me for some laughs and share your thoughts about these predicaments. Also, I love your emails. Send your questions my way! You can use the contact form at dawnserra.com.   We start by talking about the importance of treating sex workers with respect and we talk a little about a piece in The Guardian about self-care. Head to dawnserra.com/ep293 for the link. I love what it's offering about the ways self-care has been co-opted and what communal care can look like.   Then it's on to your questions.   First up, Q just got their masters degree and through grad school put on some weight. Their partner of 6 years told them they aren't as sexually attracted to them now because of that weight. Can someone change their sexual attraction?   Ohhhhh, do I have thoughts! If you want to hear more about situations like this, be sure to check out my chat with Carmen Cool at Explore More 2019, because we talked about this a lot, too.   Next, Britney is worried her boyfriend is gay. He was getting blowjobs from a gay guy in high school and might have done it again in college. Is he gay and how can she believe him when he's lied before?   Let's talk about sexual orientation and how it isn't always as simple as whether someone is gay or not. Plus, trust seems to be pretty damaged, so I weigh in on how I think they can re-connect.   Finally, Ryan is in a long-term relationship of six years. They have an active and amazing sex life. That said, he has a desire to work with a sex worker to get an erotic massage, but he worries his partner will see that as cheating. Does he deny himself this pleasure just because his partner might not like it?   Relationship agreements are important, folks, and if you can't abide by them, you shouldn't be in a relationship.   A huge thanks to the Vocal Few for their song in the opening and closing of the episode and to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Stream it on Spotify Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Check it out at dawnserra.com/ep293

tl;dr STIs and how to protect ourselves, men who want masturbation buddies, shame and fat bodies, plus Kobe Bryant's death.   Patrons who support at $3 and above, there's a new bonus at patreon.com/sgrpodcast tomorrow.   To kick off this week's episode, we are exploring some of the complicated feelings around Kobe Bryant's death, especially for survivors. We're also unpacking a new paper released by the CDC about STIs being on the rise. Check out the article at dawnserra.com/ep291   Sinclair Sexsmith recently pulled together a bunch of people, blogs, and helpful tidbits on chronic pain and sex. Grab the link at dawnserra.com/ep291.   Then it's on to your questions.   First up, Jose wants to know if it's healthy to have a sexual relationship with himself when he's in a relationship with someone else. And is it weird to want a masturbation buddy? Especially when he's a straight man and wants to masturbate with other men?   Next, Busy Cat is ready to leave the big city and get a job in a smaller city, but her boyfriend isn't ready to make the move. How can she convince him that this move will be good for them?   Finally, Ashamed is in recovery for an eating disorder and has complicated feelings about her fat body. She doesn't have much experience with masturbation or sex, and she wants to start but she doesn't know how.   What if you can't reach your genitals? What if you don't know where to start? We go all the places and focus in on pleasure - because that's what it's all about, right?   A huge thanks to the Vocal Few for their song in the opening and closing of the episode and to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Stream it on Spotify Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Check it out at dawnserra.com/ep291

tl;dr How to have with someone in a wheelchair, being scared of sex and not knowing how to jump in. Patrons who support at $3 and above, there's a new bonus at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. We are diving into the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - the behaviors that indicate a relationship is in need of repair and heading for trouble and what we can do about it. This week’s episode is you and me and your emails. Before we get to that, a few announcements. An important article on abortion plus I also am sharing two interesting posts about men and testosterone and men and sexual desire by psychotherapist Eric FitzMedrud. There's some really interesting stuff here that helps to share our conversation masculinity and consent. I'd love to hear what you think! Grab the links at dawnserra.com/ep290 for everything mentioned. On to your questions! Cassandra is about to have sex for the first time with someone new and he is in a wheelchair. She's not sure how to ask what he likes or how to sext, espcially since he told her that he can't get erections. What should she do? Let's talk about sex with someone in a wheelchair! First, for folks who are super new to sex and disability, Amaze.org has this awesome video to get you started. I also highly recommend this soon-to-be-published book by Limerence Press, an imprint of Oni Press, called "A Quick and Easy Guide to Sex and Disability" by A. Andrews. It's a graphic novel all about - you guessed it - sex and disability and I love it. It comes out in May 2020, so follow Limerence on Twitter to hear when it's out! You can also pre-order it on Amazon. I offer loads of questions Cassandra can ask her new beau, and I also suggest a Yes No Maybe list. Head to dawnserra.com/ep290 for a great resource on those. Next, Scaredy Cat and Queer & Missing Sex are BOTH scared about sex. Scaredy Cat is in eating disorder recovery and found me through Christy Harrison's amazing show, Food Psych. SC hasn't had a boyfriend and is terrified of sex to the point that she is cutting off potential partners out of fear that they'll expect or want sex. What can she do? In addition to all the things I mention on the show, I also pulled together a reading list for SC as a way to start learning, practicing, and finding more language around sex, boundaries, needs, and desires. Some books to get you going can be found at dawnserra.com/ep290 There's a much bigger recommended reading list you can grab at dawnserra.com/books, too! Next up, Queer & Missing Sex is a few years out of an abusive relationship and feeling scared about sex, too. What can they do to reconnect with someone and have the fun sex they miss? Also, huge thanks to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. I'm digging it! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Stream it on Spotify Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Visit dawnserra.com/ep290 for the transcript.

tl;dr When the sex stops after you move in together, non-binary pregnancy, and why sex with fat folks is not revolutionary. Patrons who support at $3 and above, there's a new bonus at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. Let's explore some of what we want to let go of and what we'd like to bring in for 2020, plus the most magical gift list I've ever read. This week’s episode is you and me and your emails. Before we get to that, a few announcements. First, you must read this magical thread by @shaanlashun on having sex with fat people. Share it widely. Sing it from the rooftops. The articles they mentioned are linked at dawnserra.com/ep289 I also am sharing two tweets from @pangmeli and you can find them here and here. On to your questions! First up, Lee recently moved in with her partner and the sex has stopped. What gives? Why did the sex stop as soon as they moved in together? The sex was kind of boring before that, so Lee is wondering how to talk to her partner about having sex, how not to build this up into A Thing, and if they can stack complaints of the things that aren't working? Let's talk about building a solid foundation of positive experiences and trust. We need to all be practicing our sex talk with partners when things are good because it's so upsetting to be in a relationship where the only time you talk about sex is when something is wrong. I know lots of people are in this situation, so I've got lots of questions and recommendations for Lee, including reading Esther Perel's Mating in Captivity. Next, Ama wrote in because she was raped twice by her best friend. It's been a year, but she can't stop crying and feeling unlovable. She's been trying to date, but she keeps choosing men who are unavailable. Finally, H is a non-binary person trying to get pregnant, but they are feeling all sorts of homophobia come up around their masculine body in this quest to have a baby. I found some awesome resources for non-binary and trans folks who are trying to get pregnant and who are pregnant. Check out the huge list of resources at dawnserra.com/ep289 Also, huge thanks to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. I'm digging it! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Stream it on Spotify Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Visit dawnserra.com/ep289 for the transcript.

tl;dr Abuse in polyamory. Can squirting cause incontinence? Are there men who don't like sex? How to have sex with someone with large breasts?   Patrons who support at $3 and above, there's a new bonus at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. It's a listener question about first time sex, birth control, and deep throating. Tune in to hear it and thanks for supporting the show financially.   This week’s episode is you and me and your emails. Before we get to that, a few announcements.   First, I am in two new books. You can find an essay I wrote almost 2 years ago in the recently released "Sex Positive Now" anthology and I have been turned into a comic character for Meg-John Barker's soon to be released "Gender: A Graphic Guide". Pre-order yours today!   This week, I am also bringing our attention to two articles about abuse in polyamory that I think offer important questions for us all to hold. Head to dawnserra.com/ep288 for the links.   We need to hold ourselves and each other accountable for the ways we are doing relationship, and unfortunately much of the mainstream polyamory/non-monogamy advice just doesn't hold the nuance that's needed for people who have trauma, who experience mental illness, and a whole host of other realities.   On to your questions!   First up, Cathryn wrote in with some really sweet messages about discovering the podcast.   Next, Sofia wrote in about squirting and incontinence. Can squirting lead to incontinence? I got input from several pelvic floor therapists, and though the answer is more complicated, the overall sense is yes, it can. We explore why in the episode.   Then, Jose asks, “Am I the only guy who doesn't like sex?" But the thing is, Jose has a thriving sex life - with himself. It's partnered sex he doesn't care for, so we explore asexuality, masculinity myths, and why it's perfectly normal and OK to prefer sex with yourself.   Finally, Breast Distress has a new partner who has large breasts. How can she become a better at sex with someone who has large breasts, especially when it's something she's never done before?   Also, huge thanks to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. I'm digging it! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Stream it on Spotify Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Visit dawnserra.com/ep288 for the episode transcript.

tl;dr Can someone explore their bisexuality while being in a monogamous relationship? Do things get better after you've been raped? How can you balance body positivity with Hashimoto's and how can you tell a potential date about your health issues? Patrons who support at $3 and above, you're invited to join the Explore More book club. We are meeting in December to discuss Jenny Odell's "How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy", so check out my new post at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. Also, your bonus this week is some fun journal prompts and questions about food and pleasure. Be sure to grab it! On with this week's episode. TJ has been diagnosed with Hashimoto's which is an auto immune disorder. After a lifetime of trying to be accepting of their body, now their body is changing. How can they balance a restricted diet without giving into diet culture? And, if you're just starting to date again, how do you tell someone about your health issues? When is the right time to tell them about a disease or a disorder? MJ is exploring her bisexuality, but there's a problem. She's in a monogamous relationship. Her partner is open to them trying a threesome, but MJ wants to try sex with a woman on her own just to see what's it like. Can she do that? This also opens the door for us to talk about the ways we treat people when we want to experiment with our sexuality or try a threesome - often we treat folks like objects to use for our pleasure. How can we do better? What kind of complexity do we need to grapple with if we're seriously considering trying something like this? Finally, N wrote in. She was raped and then betrayed by someone she cared deeply about. After a suicide attempt, N is in counselling and struggling. Does life get better? Do the nightmares and the fear and the PTSD get better? Is there hope for intimacy and being able to be touched? Let's talk about the realities of living in a body after trauma and what healing can look like inside of these very broken systems we're in. Also, huge thanks to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. I'm digging it! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Stream it on Spotify Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Visit dawnserra.com/ep286 for the transcript.

tl;dr How to vulnerable and honest, is cheating bad, and what to do about a big penis? News! Patrons who support at $3 and above, you're invited to join the Explore More book club. We are meeting in December to discuss Jenny Odell's "How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy", so check out my new post at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. Let's take a touch inventory. Who in your life can you share touch with? Not just sexual or romantic, but platonic, comforting, or familial touch? I've been thinking a lot about the ways we're so touch-starved here in the U.S. and Canada, and then an article came across my feed this week that I thought was worth sharing. Check out Vice's article by visiting dawnserra.com/ep284. This week it's your emails! We're diving deep into three of them. Anxious Freshman grew up in a household where love was dependent on obedience and pleasing their father. As someone heading off to college, they're noticing that it's challenging for them to be open and honest about their feelings, to be vulnerable with others. They even lie to their friends about sex while knowing their friends wouldn't judge them. What can they do differently? Al has a big question. Is it wrong to cheat on his wife? They've been married a long time and sex hasn't been a part of the equation for many years. He is seriously considering cheating on his wife, and wants to know if it's wrong. It's a huge question and one I take some time with. Finally, Big Cock Blues has met someone wonderful, but there's a problem. His cock is massive and it leaves BCB feeling raw, sore, and irritated after they have intercourse. What can BCB do to accommodate this big penis? From different positions to cock rings to trying perineal massage, there are lots of ways to experiment here, but the bottom line is to always trust your body and to follow your body's lead - not to try and force it or override it's wisdom. I found an article on perineal massage for BCB. Check it out here. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Stream it on Spotify Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Coming soon at dawnserra.com/ep284

tl;dr Relationship green flags (healthy relationship behaviors), community accountability, and play party etiquette. News! Patrons who support at $3 and above, you're invited to join the Explore More book club. We are meeting in December to discuss Jenny Odell's "How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy", so check out my new post at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. How are you doing? No really. How are you? Share with me, if you'd like, and send in your questions because I'd love to hear from you. Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above? What are relationship green flags? In other words, what are healthy relationship behaviors? What's a green flag for relationships? Well, after seeing a meme circulating with a few of them, I compiled a list of 24 green flag behaviors for relationships, because we hear a lot about red flags and it's nice to know what to do versus what not to do. Anderbear wrote in wanting to know how to proactively set up an accountability pod for their kinky community and resources for community accountability. While the list isn't exhaustive, it is a jumping off point! Get all of the links and names at dawnserra.com/ep283. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Stream it on Spotify Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Visit dawnserra.com/ep283

tl;dr Is squirting embarrassing? How can I find a fat-friendly therapist? What if my marriage is falling apart? News! Patrons who support at $3 and above, you're invited to join the Explore More book club. We are meeting in December to discuss Jenny Odell's "How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy", so check out my new post at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. This week, it's me and you! An awesome video called "How to Support Harm Does in Accountability" came across my feed this week, and it turns out it's part of a multi-video series by the Barnard Center for Research on Women featuring Mia Mingus, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, adrienne maree brown, and a bunch of other amazing folks. Definitely check them all out. How can we become more committed to collective healing and safety? What do we need to let go of in order to center the most marginalized? I explore this a bit as I share a few quotes and tidbits from the videos. Then, we dive into your questions. Sad Gay Millennial and SaFyre both wrote in this week with really sweet notes about how the show has helped them. I'm holding them so tenderly. Ina wrote to me about being in a fat body and finding support. How can you find a fat-friendly therapist? I have resources for you to check out at dawnserra.com/ep282. Regardless of who you have near you for support, I recommend asking lots of questions about their values and going in with a list of requests and boundaries that would help you to feel more safe and supported. Is squirting embarrassing? Amy wrote in because she squirts and after she does, she often feels really embarrassed and worried about the mess she made. Her current boyfriend is really supportive, but she wants to know if there's a way to feel less awkward about the mess her body makes. Finally, Emotionally Wrecked Matt wrote in because he lost weight last year and as a result his wife has experienced a lot of insecurity and withdrawal. Sex isn't what it used to be, feelings are hurt, and now they've shared some fantasies with each other that left the other feeling even more hurt. What can he do? As much as there is to dive into in this email, what's clear is that Matt and his wife need some support. Repair needs to come before adventure and play, so let's talk about that. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above!   Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Stream it on Spotify Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Find it at dawnserra.com/ep282

tl;dr What should you do with sexy pics of your ex and what if you still get off to them? How can you have more pleasure if you have herpes and your partner does not? And what should you do if you can't stop thinking of someone who drifted out of your life?   News! The October Cohort of my 5-week online course, Power in Pleasure, is enrolling NOW. We kick off TODAY Sunday, October 20th and it's going to be amazing. Learn more and enroll here: dawnserra.com/pleasurecourse (it costs as much as a single coaching session but includes six live calls and five weeks of daily emails bursting with powerful prompts and questions). Join us! This week, it's me and you!   First up, I want all of us to know about SexEdSchool.ca with Nadine Thornhill and Eva Bloom. It's for kids and adults with kids in their lives, but let's be honest. We could all use a refresher. Check it out.   Thinking wrote in about still thinking a lot about an old friend who drifted out of their life. Sometimes those memories are erotic and sometimes not, but is this because Thinking loves them or never got closure?   Crystal from Patreon had a few thoughts for Thinking. And then I weigh in about memories and how they can serve to support the stories we need in our lives. But it's important that we use memories to nourish us or to feel into something that we enjoy rather than investing in the truth of this fiction we've spun. It's normal to look back, as long as looking back doesn't keep us from living in the present.   Increase My Pleasure Please has herpes and their boyfriend does not. They are using gloves and condoms, but they'd really like to try oral sex. IMPP is on anti-viral meds, but there's still a chance to shed the virus, so what is safe? How can IMPP increase their pleasure without increasing risk?   I love this question because current stats show that 90% of Americans have some form of the herpes virus, which means it's SUPER common. And the more all of us know, the more pleasure we can all experience!   Because I'm not a herpes expert, I turned to a few great resources for data and suggestions. Head to dawnserra.com/ep281 for the full list of links.   The long and the short of it is whether we are in a relationship with differing STI statuses, with disability, with chronic pain, with aging bodies, with fat bodies, with differing needs, or just want to have more options for pleasure, we can experience deep sexual fulfillment and erotic expression when we use our imaginations to connect around the infinite ways we can enjoy each other's bodies - lap dances, mutual masturbation, erotic massage, tickle fights and wrestling, power exchange, bondage, reading erotica together, clothes-on humping and making out, toys, fucking machines - the sky is the limit on pleasure.   Kate has a super short question that I find fascinating. Is it wrong to keep sexy photos of an ex and to sometimes get off to them? What if you're in a new relationship?   Let's talk ethics and respecting people and how the digital age can make us feel entitled to someone's body long after we're with them.   Finally, Patrons, this week's bonus will be some erotic breathwork practices. Join me! If you support the show at $3 per month, you can get access at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. If you want to help me answer listener questions, the $5 level is for you. Your support means so much!   Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Stream it on Spotify Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Head to dawnserra.com/ep281 for the transcript.

Dawn Serra is an internationally known podcaster, relationship expert, and online event producer. Dawn specializes in coaching individuals and business owners alike on how to get unstuck and step into their pleasure, power, and purpose. Whether it’s coaching couples around how they communicate or producing an online event that changes thousands of lives, Dawn is all about rewriting stories and challenging each of us to step towards the things we most desire. What if the work you did fed your soul and changed lives? What’s possible when you’re working for yourself and creating something that matters? Watch Dawn’s talk on feeling fulfilled by starting a business.

tl;dr Why coming forward about sexual assault doesn't "ruin" lives, what to do when you're deeply ashamed of masturbation, & does loving penises make a straight man gay?  News! The October Cohort of my 5-week online course, Power in Pleasure, is enrolling NOW. We kick off Sunday, October 14th and it's going to be amazing. Learn more and enroll here: dawnserra.com/pleasurecourse (it costs as much as a single coaching session but includes six live calls and five weeks of daily emails bursting with powerful prompts and questions). Join us! This week, it's me and you! First up, I share a fascinating and crucial thread by Nicole Bedera on why rape allegations do not "ruin" lives. Grab the link to read it and share it here. This is such a relevant conversation, and pairs perfectly with an awesome post that made the rounds this week by Jennifer Michelle Greenberg. You can check it out along with my thoughts here. In short, speaking your truth about abuse and harm does not ruin lives and we all have a responsibility to take more action around instances of harm. This is not an individual problem but a communal and collective one. Then, I field your emails. Libby wanted to share some feedback and thanks, which felt amazing to receive. From Help Me to Help Myself wrote in because they feel extreme shame around masturbating and don't know what to do. They experienced abuse and were raised in a very sex negative and Christian household, so masturbation feels complicated. How can they change their relationship with self-pleasure? Finally, Brian is worried his fetish means something about his sexuality. You see, he is straight, but he has a fetish for penises and semen, especially around performing oral on a trans person. So what does it all mean and where did this come from? I do a deep dive into genitals, identity, and sexuality. I also want all of us to check out three articles about sex with trans women. Head to dawnserra.com/ep279 for those links. Finally, Patrons, this week's bonus will be a short reading and meditation with some journal prompts about masturbation and our pleasure stories. If you support the show at $3 per month, you can get access at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. If you want to help me answer listener questions, the $5 level is for you. Your support means so much! Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above!   Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Coming soon at dawnserra.com/ep279

tl;dr Creating community memories of abuse, why giving advice is a double-edged sword, attending ACA meetings, and wanting to cuckquean when you have trauma and no body confidence.   News! Save 40% off your first subscription with LOLA and your pads, tampons, wipes, condoms, and more can be discreetly delivered right to your door on YOUR schedule. They are generously sponsoring this episode. Listeners save 40% when they go to mylola.com and use promo code SGR at checkout. First up, I want your questions! I zoomed through so many of your amazing stories and emails this summer, that I'd love to hear more from you as I line up the podcast for the fall.   Where are you struggling around sex, love, pleasure, and bodies? What would you love to know more about? How can I support you around the places that feel tender and confusing?   Email me at info at sexgetsreal dot com or using the contact form which is linked at the top of the page.   This week we kick off by exploring a few interesting posts I came across.   One that's a few years old by Ferrett Steinmetz on the dangers of giving advice. Grab the link at sexgetsreal.com/ep277.   Another is this amazing community memory that's meant to help a DC antifacist activist community remember some harmful behavior one particular individual has been engaging in. Is there potential for other communities to create similar memories as a way to foster accountability and change? Check out the piece and share it widely by heading to sexgetsreal.com/ep277.   We are diving into two questions this week.   The first is Ana Banana who wants to know what I think of going to ACA meetings (Adult Children of Alcoholics).   I explore the power of community to heal and also some of the dangers of placing all the blame on individuals.   Next is a question from Confused Quean on how to be a cuckquean while having deep body trauma and self-image issues. I posed this question to Patreon, and a few folks help share their ideas and perspective.   Did you know you can support the show? Every single dollar means so much, and if you'd like to toss a few my way to help keep the show going, head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast.   If you support at $3 and above each month, you get exclusive weekly content you can't find anywhere else and if you support at $5 per month and above, you can help me answer listener questions.   Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above!   Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)   Episode Transcript Coming soon at sexgetsreal.com/ep277

News! I am on episode 4.2 of the Secret Feminist Agenda podcast. Tune in as I talk all about the Sex Gets Real podcast, how I got into this work, and much more. Save 40% off your first subscription with LOLA and your pads, tampons, wipes, condoms, and more can be discreetly delivered right to your door on YOUR schedule. They are generously sponsoring this episode. Listeners save 40% when they go to mylola.com and use promo code SGR at checkout. First up, I want your questions! I zoomed through so many of your amazing stories and emails this summer, that I'd love to hear more from you as I line up the podcast for the fall. Where are you struggling around sex, love, pleasure, and bodies? What would you love to know more about? How can I support you around the places that feel tender and confusing? Email me at info at sexgetsreal dot com or using the contact form which is linked at the top of the page. I'd also love more of your love notes about the ways people in  your life make you feel appreciated and loved. It's so sweet having these little rituals to share with everyone. Send yours over whether it's something a lover, spouse, friend, coworker, neighbor, child, or community member does. Love is love! On to your emails. Mare is struggling because she betrayed her partner. He didn't want to open their relationship and she did, so she betrayed their agreement and now things are terrible. She feels guilty and ashamed, and wants some thoughts on the whole situation. Anonymous Girl has always considered herself to be straight, but she's getting bored of sex with men, and is starting to feel really curious about sex with people of other genders. Should she go for it? And how? Finally, Sydney Faith Rose recently wrote something amazing about how many women are talking about their anxious attachment, but how maybe instead of seeing it as something to fix, it's instead a huge sign that there are very good reasons to be anxious right now. I explore some of the limitations of attachment theory and offer some questions for us all to sit with. Did you know you can support the show? Every single dollar means so much, and if you'd like to toss a few my way to help keep the show going, head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast. If you support at $3 and above each month, you get exclusive weekly content you can't find anywhere else and if you support at $5 per month and above, you can help me answer listener questions. This week there are TWO bonus episodes because last week's had an issue. One bonus is all about a partner who lied about getting STI testing done which has put their whole polycule at risk. The other bonus episode is about arousal and whether a desire to be penetrated or not is the sign of full arousal for a vulva owner. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Available at sexgetsreal.com/ep276

With apologies for its tardiness, I present to you the first interview of season four, and this one’s a doozy. I’m talking to rad queer fat genius, sex & relationship coach, and pleasure advocate Dawn Serra about shame, vulnerability, pleasure, boundaries, joy, imagining radical futures, and so much more. This conversation broke open my brain, … Continue reading Episode 4.2 Dreaming Big Wild Worlds with Dawn Serra

News! I am going to be on Secret Feminist Agenda podcast. The episode drops Friday, August 30, 2019 and if you haven't checked out this rad podcast yet, do it here. The next cohort of Power in Pleasure starts October 14th and enrollment is now open. If you'd like to learn more and join in this rich exploration of pleasure, hunger, and desire, head to dawnserra.com/pleasurecourse. To get us started, I came across two threads all about love and the simple ways we care for each other. I'd love to hear from you one the little things people in your life do that make you feel loved and what made you think "yeah, I want this human in my life for awhile". Platonic, creative, sexual, romantic - it doesn't matter. Let's start a love fest. Email me with your story! I also want to take some time to share that a porn performer named Rooster has come forward about abuse they experienced on the set of an Erika Lust film by guest director Olympia de G. I share some thoughts on how we can do better around accountability and complexity, but I think the most important thing is hearing from Rooster and centering their experience. On to your emails. Kate's boyfriend has a coworker who is pretty disrespectful with boundaries, but despite that, had an initially shitty situation turn into something super sexy and fun. Go Kate! Next up, Elizabeth has just recently started dating a couple. Things are going great, but the woman asked Elizabeth not to wear crop tops around their daughter and Elizabeth isn't sure if she's being shamed or not for her clothing. What gives? Finally, CassyBoBassy is curious about body trust. As someone who struggled with dieting and a family who vilified fat bodies, Cassy is starting to see there might be another way to experience pleasure and break-up with shame, but what does it mean to trust your body and how can she feel less lost? Grab all the links and resources mentioned in this episode at sexgetsreal.com/ep275. Did you know you can support the show? Every single dollar means so much, and if you'd like to toss a few my way to help keep the show going, head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast. If you support at $3 and above each month, you get exclusive weekly content you can't find anywhere else and if you support at $5 per month and above, you can help me answer listener questions. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Find it at sexgetsreal.com/ep275

News! I am now taking in-person clients in my coaching practice. If you're in the Vancouver area, I will working out of Allura Sex Therapy Centre on Fridays. Head to dawnserra.com to reach out to me if you're interested in grabbing a spot. The next cohort of Power in Pleasure starts October 14th and enrollment is now open. If you'd like to learn more and join in this rich exploration of pleasure, hunger, and desire, head to dawnserra.com/pleasurecourse. This week's episode is all about you and your questions. First up, there have been updates on #polyamorysmetoo and I wanted to pass those along. Head to sexgetsreal.com/ep274 for all the links you need. You can also check out the @bodyimage_therapists's post on restriction here, and you can follow Ashlee if changing your relationship with food and body is something you're working on. After sharing some passages from Nora Samaran's "Turn This World Inside Out", it's time to jump into your emails. Chelsea wrote in because she is going to her first dungeon warehouse party. Is it safe to go as a single straight woman? And what should she wear? Amy has been with her husband for 8 years and early in their relationship, she had one month where she had mindblowing ecstastic orgasms and then they disappeared as quietly as they arrived. What happened? Is it normal? And why? Lady Shyzune experienced some trauma in some messy relationships with loved ones, and is finally coming out the other side with healthier boundaries and more support. How can people avoid the messy traps she fell into? You can check out Dr. Chris Hoff's piece on the myth of codependency by heading to sexgetsreal.com/ep274 for the link. Did you know you can support the show? Every single dollar means so much, and if you'd like to toss a few my way to help keep the show going, head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast. If you support at $3 and above each month, you get exclusive weekly content you can't find anywhere else and if you support at $5 per month and above, you can help me answer listener questions. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript  Head to sexgetsreal.com/ep274 for the transcript.

News! GET YOUR PRESCRIPTION FEE WAIVED at Simple Health if you'd like to try their online access for birth control and automatic subscription service with free shipping. Complete your health profile at simplehealth.com/sgr or use code SGR at checkout to get that $20 annual prescription fee waived and to get your birth control mailed to your door. I am now taking in-person clients in my coaching practice. If you're in the Vancouver area, I will working out of Allura Sex Therapy Centre on Fridays. Head to dawnserra.com to reach out to me if you're interested in grabbing a spot. The next cohort of Power in Pleasure starts October 14th and enrollment is now open. If you'd like to learn more and join in this rich exploration of pleasure, hunger, and desire, head to dawnserra.com/pleasurecourse. This week's episode is all about you and your questions. I got two follow-up emails, both from people whose questions were featured in episode 271. It was great to hear from both of them, and I share a little about what I hope each of you takes from the answers I offer on this show. Crushing wrote in because they are married and love their spouse, but they are having some kind of crush on a new co-worker. What is this? What do they do? And can they give this person a gift before they leave this job?  Crushes are totally normal, and there are so many kinds of crushes! Friend crushes, admiration crushes, appreciation crushes, sexual crushes, and many more. It sounds like Crushing is having a friend crush, but let's talk about crushes and how we can all enjoy them and validate those feelings without being out of alignment with our values. Tina wants to know if I have a recommended book list and Tina is in LUCK! You can get the official Sex Gets Real Recommended Reading List full of all my favorite and most recommended books at sexgetsreal.com/books. Fill in your info and you'll get immediate access to that list of awesome books. Grab the rest of the links and books I mention at sexgetsreal.com/ep273 Anonymous wrote in because they are unable to voice their feelings or speak about their arousal with their amazing and supportive partner. In fact, they called themself a "relationship mute". How can they find their voice? I offer loads of suggestions including working with Tea & Empathy cards (I have a few dozen decks available for sale if you'd like one, hit me up via email or on Facebook - I'm selling them at cost which is $35 + shipping), Betty Martin's 3-minute game which you hear all about in my chat with her for Explore More 2017 or on her website here, plus several other little tips and things to consider. Did you know you can support the show? Every single dollar means so much, and if you'd like to toss a few my way to help keep the show going, head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast. If you support at $3 and above each month, you get exclusive weekly content you can't find anywhere else and if you support at $5 per month and above, you can help me answer listener questions. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Available at sexgetsreal.com/ep273

News! I am now taking in-person clients in my coaching practice. If you're in the Vancouver area, I will working out of Allura Sex Therapy Centre on Fridays. Head to dawnserra.com to reach out to me if you're interested in grabbing a spot. The next cohort of Power in Pleasure starts October 14th and enrollment is now open. If you'd like to learn more and join in this rich exploration of pleasure, hunger, and desire, head to dawnserra.com/pleasurecourse. It's you and me this week because I have so many amazing questions from you that I wanted to answer a few before next week's epic episode with Tristan Taormino. So what's on tap for this week? Teacup Half Full wrote in because she is engaged to an amazing man named George. He makes her so happy. But she also has an ex from the past who has come back into her life and he has declared that he wants to leave his fiancé to be with her. She loves them both. What can she do? I shared this question in Patreon for patrons who support at $5 and above, and Katie weighed in with her thoughts. Part of what I think Teacup Half Full needs to evaluate is her relationship values, how she wants to be in relationship, and then evaluate her relationship with these two men to see what she notices about what feels right. The secret keeping from both her fiancé George and the ex's fiancé needs to be addressed. Next, Ashamed AF Amy is struggling because Amy feels deeply ashamed of her genitals. She's been thinking about surgery because she feels broken and ugly. In fact, the first person she slept with shamed her and refused to go down on her. Again, I posed this question in Patreon, and Hawthorn and Katie shared their thoughts. Among the things they offered, they also shared the following resources for learning more about the vast and extraordinary variation in how vulva look. Check out: The Labia Library The Vulva Gallery Laura Dodsworth's 100 Vagina's project Joani Blank's book Femalia I want for more of us, all of us regardless of gender, to check out these resources. To see the huge variety in how vulvas shape themselves - none is wrong or ugly, they're simply different and unique. We don't get a chance to see much genitalia outside of porn, and that can leave us feeling like there's something wrong. Am Me wrote in because their friend is sexually attracted to fat bodies. How can they find resources around that? Let's normalize finding fat bodies hot! Because fat bodies can be SOOOO sexy - all those soft places, sensitive places, and yummy places to get lost in. Let's also talk about the difference between finding something sexy versus objectifying or fetishizing someone. Finally, Violeta is struggling because she is from Mexico and the person she is falling for is in the U.S. Is there any hope for love across this border, especially considering the current political climate? What can she do? Everything feels so sad. This is the reality of racism, xenophobia, and all of the bullshit propaganda U.S. citizens have been fed forever about fearing those from Mexico, Central, and South America. The violence is having a real impact on so many people, not just those crossing the border. Did you know you can support the show? Every single dollar means so much, and if you'd like to toss a few my way to help keep the show going, head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast. If you support at $3 and above each month, you get exclusive weekly content you can't find anywhere else and if you support at $5 per month and above, you can help me answer listener questions. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) Episode Transcript Head to sexgetsreal.com/ep271 to grab it.

What are you hungry for? What do you crave? What do you want so much you can taste it? The fabulous Dawn Serra joins us for a conversation about recovering a joyful relationship to pleasure, desire and hunger. We explore what food and sexuality have in common as arenas of experiencing and realms of both […] The post What Are You Hungry For? Interview With Dawn Serra appeared first on Pleasure Mechanics.

Dawn Serra is a sex and relationship coach who has dedicated her life to helping others orient towards pleasure so that we can heal the shame we carry around sex and deepen the trust we have in our bodies. In this episode, we talk about the historical and very culturally relevant reasons today that women struggle with sex today. You'll learn why sex is a social skill, why it's OK to have a fraught relationship to sex and how to change it, including how to tell your partner if you’ve been faking orgasms. And of course because TMI is a habit of mine, I share more details about my lack of sex experience— and how uncomfortable I was going through the process. I hope it helps you lean in to your discomfort, heal whatever is bothering you about sex and sexual health, and give yourself permission to experience more pleasure. Toward the end we answer a Body Kindness reader question who asked about sex when you have PTSD from sexual abuse and violence. You don't want to miss the resources and advice Dawn offers. --- About Dawn Dawn Serra is a sex and relationship coach who has dedicated her life to helping others orient towards pleasure so that we can heal the shame we carry around sex and deepen the trust we have in our bodies. She believes our hungers are wise and our pleasure is the path towards healing. Dawn is the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the free annual online conference, Explore More Summit, and works one-on-one with clients and couples around body trust, pleasure, and desire. DawnSerra.com | Explore More Summit | Sex Gets Real podcast | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook --- Get the Body Kindness book It's available wherever books and audiobooks are sold. Read reviews on Amazon and pick up your copy today! Order signed copies and bulk discounts here! --- Donate to support the show Thanks to our generous supporters! We're working toward our goal to fund the full season. Can you donate? Please visit our Go Fund Me page. --- Get started with Body Kindness Sign up to get started for free and stay up to date on the latest offerings --- Become a client Check out BodyKindnessBook.com/breakthrough for the latest groups and individual support sessions --- Subscribe to the podcastWe're on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify and iHeartRadio. Enjoy the show? Please rate it on iTunes! Have a show idea or guest recommendation? E-mail podcast@bodykindnessbook.com to get in touch. --- Join the Facebook groupContinue the episode conversations with the hosts, guests, and fellow listeners on the Body Kindness Facebook group. See you there! Nothing in this podcast is meant to provide medical diagnosis, treatment, cure, or prevent any disease or condition. Individuals should consult a qualified healthcare provider for medical advice and answers to personal health questions.

Your pleasure matters. Join the July cohort of  my 5-week online Power in Pleasure course. Check out details and enroll at dawnserra.com/pleasurecourse. Welcome to this week's episode, it's a very special treat, but first! Did you know you can support the show? You can, on Patreon. The show is entirely self-funded, so every single dollar makes a huge difference for me. If you support at $3 and above each month, you get exclusive weekly content you can't find anywhere else and if you support at $5 per month and above, you can help me answer listener questions. This week's bonus is my chat with Adiposivity's founder Substantia Jones for the Explore More Bodies summit. We talk all about her project of photographing fat, naked bodies all around the world. Don't miss it! Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast to support the show and get your bonus access. So, for this week's episode, in the spirit of treating myself to a vacation and working as little as possible (thank you to the person who emailed me and said I deserve a break - it felt so great to receive that support), this week's episode is my chat with Meg-John Barker from the very first Explore More Summit. Meg-John is someone I have learned SO much from and I adore their curious, compassionate approach to mental health, gender, love, and relationship. If you haven't checked out their awesome books, including one of my favorites "Rewriting the Rules", you can learn more about them here. In this interview, we talk about the ways we define love and how rigid it is, how we can find new ways to love and be in relationship, the romanticism and idea of The One that sets us up for a ton of distress, more expansive ways to approach happiness and love in our lives, self-criticism and intense emotions, and how we can begin healing and learning ways to navigate it all. Also, that book I mentioned, "Turn This World Inside Out" by Nora Samaran is recently out by AK Press, and you can grab your copy here. I'll be back next week with loads of your questions, so stay tuned! Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note! Grab the full episode transcript at sexgetsreal.com/ep268 Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

FULL TRANSCRIPT AT sexgetsreal.com/ep267 Your pleasure matters. Join the July cohort of  my 5-week online Power in Pleasure course. Check out details and enroll at dawnserra.com/pleasurecourse. Welcome to this week's episode, full of your questions and some thoughts and questions I have in response. First up, a few years ago, Jasmine Kyon wrote an essay about why coming out is not the best option as the child of an immigrant family and how often the coming out narrative is white-centric and cis-centric. It's beautiful and important. Check it out here. Then, several of your awesome questions. Brooke struggled with wanting sex as she grappled with disordered eating, but now she's feeling more herself and she wants to explore more sexual things with her boyfriend. The problem? He never initiates and she doesn't want to have to be the one to always get things going. What can she do to honor this yummy horniness? Laura met her husband when she was 18 and they've been happily married for many years. He's an amazing husband and dad. The problem? She feels like she missed out by not having other experiences - especially when her friends share stories of old boyfriends and sexual escapades. All she can do is listen. Is the grass really greener? Is she missing out by only ever having had one sexual partner? Is this the culture or is it her? I love this question and we have a lot to explore here. Next up, find out why someone recently wrote this to me: “TAKE THE COURSE. You may think you're in touch with yourself and your desires, but this course opens your eyes to things deep within your soul that you didn't know existed. You will feel rejuvenated and insightful after each daily unit. The group chats each week provide beautiful perspective from others going on the journey with you. You won't regret signing up for this.” Finally, Paula is thinking about becoming a sex educator for the Hispanic community. She wants to know how I got started learning about sexuality and how she might get started herself. Hear where I got my start and why volunteering and being on the front lines of people's complex, messy, real lives is so important if you want to go into sex education. Patreon supporters, this week you get exclusive access to a funny exploration of sexual injuries, inspired by an article I recently read - and I want to hear YOUR sexual injuries. If you don't yet support the show, even $1 means so much. If you support at $3 per month and above, you get access to weekly exclusive content (and there's a huge backlog at this point!). Support at $5 per month and above and help me field listener questions. Details and bonuses are at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. That's it for this week's episode. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Your pleasure matters. Join the July cohort of  my 5-week online Power in Pleasure course. Check out details and enroll at dawnserra.com/pleasurecourse. My chat with Sinclair Sexsmith and rife got postposed, so this week's episode is just me and you. First up, I share about three new articles/resources that came across my feed this week. Head to sexgetsreal.com/ep266 for all of the links mentioned in the episode. Then, we dive into two important questions from listeners just like you. Peter is a cis man who is a virgin. He has been listening to older episodes of the show and was confused by a conversation I had with a Dirty Lola in response to a cis woman who was a virgin asking about boundaries. Peter feels he shouldn't have boundaries if he ever meets someone who is willing to have sex with him in order to actually, well, have sex. Should he have boundaries or not? I offer feedback all about the importance of boundaries not only for our own pleasure but as a way to build trust with potential partners and because consent requires us to openly communicate our needs so that others can choose for themselves based on as much information as possible. Then, Allison is thinking about becoming a sex educator and wants to know what programs I recommend. Gosh, do I have thoughts! Because I get this question all the time, I share my thoughts about how most programs won't really meet anyone's needs if they want to become a sex educator and what I do see as the future of this field and what I think it will take to be a part of where we're going rather than where we've been. Patreon supporters, this week you get exclusive access to my hour long and very intimate conversation with Isabel Abbott from Explore More Summit 2019. It's MAGICAL. If you don't yet support the show, even $1 means so much. If you support at $3 per month and above, you get access to weekly exclusive content (and there's a huge backlog at this point!). Support at $5 per month and above and help me field listener questions. Details and bonuses are at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. That's it for this week's episode. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Your pleasure matters. Join the July cohort of  my 5-week online Power in Pleasure course. Check out details and enroll at dawnserra.com/pleasurecourse. This week's episode is just me and you. First, I get on a soapbox about the bullshit that is "straight pride" and how it's really just like white pride and men's rights activists. We've got to call this stuff out and do better. Listener Rick wrote in to share some changes he's experienced in pleasure since really listening to his wife. AMAZING! Next up, Confused Cookie has a problem. The love of her life keeps breaking their agreements and lying to her. This is not what ethical non-monogamy or polyamory are about, folks. If someone is breaking agreements, hiding things, and lying, that's unethical regardless of the dynamic. CC deserves so much better and I have suggestions for what to do next (*cough* leave him *cough*). Chuch has been having this new, bizarre sexual energy with a person in his life that isn't lustful, but definitely exciting. What is it and what are my thoughts, he wants to know? Will is 74 years old and he's started posing as a 20-something lesbian in an online golf game he's been playing. It's just for fun, but he isn't sure if he should tell his wife or not. Finally, @homebodytherapy on Instagram shared a powerful post about diet culture and our body's response to restriction. It ties so heavily to why so many of us struggle with pleasure. Let's explore it a bit. Patreon supporters, this week we're talking about sex abuse inside of marriage and committed relationships based on a Vox piece that recently resurfaced. If you don't yet support the show, every $1 means so much. If you support at $3 per month and above, you get access to weekly exclusive content (and there's a huge backlog at this point!). Support at $5 per month and above and help me field listener questions. Details and bonuses are at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. That's it for this week's episode. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Your pleasure matters. Join the July cohort of  my 5-week online Power in Pleasure course. Check out details and enroll at dawnserra.com/pleasurecourse. This week's episode is just me and you. First up, some updates from the survivor pod around Franklin Veaux and hearing from more of the women. Definitely check out polyamory-metoo.com and Aida Manduley's twitter thread for some good stuff. You can also check out the Reddit thread with the comments I read here. Centering the stories and experiences of the women Franklin harmed is the most important thing, so if you do check out the updates from Franklin's folks, just remember that so far none of their updates have been from folks who understand trauma-informed work or alternative justice processes. They're actually quite harmful. Patreon supporters, this week I'm watching the new Vex Ashley and Four Chambered Heart erotic film and narrating what I see. It's fun and silly and by request. If you don't yet support the show, every $1 means so much. If you support at $3 per month and above, you get access to weekly exclusive content (and there's a huge backlog at this point!). Suppor at $5 per month and above and help me field listener questions. Details and bonuses are at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. If you want to check out the article on incels and plastic surgery, I mentioned. You can check that out on The Cut. Now on to your questions! Alyssa wrote in because her fiancé won't talk during sex, but Alyssa thinks talking during sex would be super hot. How can she encourage him to talk more? Talking during sex can be super hot and super fun, and it can also make pleasure really difficult for some folks. Let's explore that dance of needs together. Fabulously Fem emailed me asking to hear more about cross dressing on the show and if I think dolls are ethical. I promise to have a crossdressing expert join us soon, but in the meantime you might want to check out Kink Academy's awesome videos on crossdressing for those who are interested. That's it for this week's episode. Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

WHOA! Birth control without a trip to the doctor? YES!!!! Simple Health is generously sponsoring this episode and YOU can get a free prescription for birth control without every leaving your home. That's right, Simple Health has made birth control easier and cheaper than ever. You fill out an online questionnaire about your health, body, insurance, and preferences. They have a doctor review your information and make a recommendation for contraception. Then, they issue a prescription and Simple Health MAILS IT TO YOU at regular intervals, without you ever having to go anywhere or remember anything. If you have insurance, using Simple Health is often totally free. If you don't have insurance, you can get birth control pills for starting around $15 per month. And...Sex Gets Real listeners, YOU CAN GET YOUR PRESCRIPTION FEE WAIVED! Head to simplehealth.com/sgr or enter code SGR at check-out and the $20 prescription fee will be waived. Birth control has never been so easy. More of your questions have poured in, so that's what we're doing today. But first, if you'd like to join the July cohort of the Power in Pleasure course, check out details and pre-enroll at dawnserra.com/pleasurecourse. You can also check out coaching at dawnserra.com/work-with-me - I have a few new spots opened up for new clients and I'd love to support you. First up, Not Asking For It wrote in about play party etiquette. At a recent play party, NAFI wasn't really into anyone there, but two women were following her around and she had to keep dodging their advances. As she left, one of the women hugged her, but then held on to her and kissed NAFI without consent. How can you set boundaries at a play party that aren't shaming or mean? I explore play party etiquette and how different organizers will have very different rules and values for their parties. We also need to talk about how assertiveness is in no way mean or shaming, and part of the work we have to do - especially women and non-binary/agender folks - is that being assertive is a big part of how we can navigate these spaces more safely. What comes up for you when someone says "You're making me uncomfortable" or "You're standing too close to me". If those statements make you uncomfortable, that's work YOU need to do around why someone taking care of themselves feels shameful or like an attack. I also recommend Cristien Storm's book "Living in Liberation" which is my favorite resource for learning about communicating boundaries, plus Jaclyn Friedman's "What You Really Really Want", Soraya Chemaly's "Rage Becomes Her", and "The Assertiveness Workbook". Please support your local independent bookstore, but if you want an Amazon link, those links are my affiliate link. If you need help being more assertive and you're a woman, gender non-conforming/agender, check out Marcia Baczynski's Good Girl Recovery program, too. Next up, AP has a bra and panty fetish. They look at pictures of plus sized bodies in bra and panties every day. Is that weird? And where do fetishes come from anyway? Is an early childhood experience AP had of getting caught trying on some bra and panties where it all started? Let's talk about our brains and where fetishes come from, plus why fetishes are totally normal, and how we can more ethically engage with our desires to that they feel spacious AND values-aligned. Someone wrote to me on Facebook asking about gay women and puppy play. In addition to contacting Ruby, the Black Sex Geek, in Dallas, Princess Kali also said all of the puppy play videos on KinkAcademy.com are by women. Plus, Fetlife! Finally, Paralyzed wrote in because while her father has always been a dud - creepy, uninvolved, sexually commenting on her body, she recently unearthed a memory of him sexually abusing her. But her family doesn't really think he's that bad and they think she's being dramatic in wanting to cut off ties. How can Paralyzed cut off communication with her father AND navigate the family dynamics with her mom and siblings? I highly recommend checking out generationfive.org, especially their resources, as well as Staci Haines' "Healing Sex". Finding support groups for survivors of childhood sexual abuse is so important as we navigate spaces like this. Community, friends, and therapists are all an important part of feeling supported, especially when part of our healing may mean disrupting our relationship with our family. We deserve to be believed. We deserve to be supported. We do not owe our family our time, access to our body, or any explanations about what we need to do in order to take of ourselves - even if that's really difficult to do. Want to support the show and get rad bonuses? If you support the show on Patreon at $3 per month, you get exclusive weekly bonus content you can't find anywhere else. If you support at $5 per month you get the weekly bonus content AND a chance to help me answer listener questions. Check it out at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. The bonus this week is a worksheet about safety in our lives and how we can bring in more safety and less tolerating in order to make space for more pleasure. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)  

WHOA! Easy & cheap birth control? YES!!!! Simple Health is generously sponsoring this episode and YOU can get a free prescription for birth control without every leaving your home. That's right, Simple Health has made birth control easier and cheaper than ever. You fill out an online questionnaire about your health, body, insurance, and preferences. They have a doctor review your information and make a recommendation for contraception. Then, they issue a prescription and Simple Health MAILS IT TO YOU at regular intervals, without you ever having to go anywhere or remember anything. If you have insurance, using Simple Health is often totally free. If you don't have insurance, you can get birth control pills for starting around $15 per month. And...Sex Gets Real listeners, YOU CAN GET YOUR PRESCRIPTION FEE WAIVED! Head to simplehealth.com/sgr or enter code SGR at check-out and the $20 prescription fee will be waived. Birth control has never been so easy. So, let's dive into this week's episode. First up, I have some openings in my coaching practice. If you'd like to work with me around your body, your relationship to sex and desire, or get some couples support, head to dawnserra.com or fill out my intake questionnaire and we can have a quick chat to see if this might be a good fit for you. I'd love to support you. Yesterday, Mia Mingus shared some really thought-provoking questions about accountability. What if we cherished and ran towards accountability? What if accountability was about love, connection, and feeling into new depths of ourselves instead of about punishment? Let's explore that a little bit. I also got a short listener question asking about women who are into older partners. WHOA. I had a lot to say about this that I didn't realize was swirling around inside of me. So, let's talk about power, about preferences, and about the ways we are groomed to value younger women and older men. Plus, Patreon supporter Katie weighs in with her thoughts, as well. Then I field a question from Danny. You see, Danny is married but he doesn't want to have sex with his wife. He just wants to masturbate. Is that weird? Is it wrong? What's up? Solo sex is amazing. Talk about a skilled lover who can read your mind! And yes, solo sex, or masturbation, are REAL, FULL sex. But what about Danny's wife, who doesn't love his affinity for masturbating over having sex with her? Want to support the show and get rad bonuses? If you support the show on Patreon at $3 per month, you get exclusive weekly bonus content you can't find anywhere else. If you support at $5 per month you get the weekly bonus content AND a chance to help me answer listener questions. Check it out at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. The bonus this week is all about pleasure. I've got some JUICY questions for you to explore that will help you consider your relationship with pleasure. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

It's time to deepen your relationship with pleasure. Check out my new pleasure course which is enrolling now through April 29, 2019 (we'll enroll again in June!). It's called Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy and runs for five weeks online. I'd love to see you there. NEW: Transcript available at sexgetsreal.com/ep258 First, I apologize that this episode is so late. Between traveling, funerals, and getting caught up, it took a few extra days to get this uploaded and out to you. This week, it's your questions! We start with an email from Violet. She was in a relationship that was committed and kinky that turned emotionally abusive. She is working with a therapist to heal, but she's worried about getting back into the kink scene and about healing from the abuse. What can she do to take care of herself and to stay open to honoring her kinkiness? Then Ross sent a short email asking why his girlfriend used to have intercourse with him but now only wants to do hand sex and oral sex. Why the change? We'll explore the possibility of pain during intercourse, mediocre intercourse, and why folks who have a vulva often experience more pleasure from non-intercourse sexual activities. Plus, it sounds like Ross and his girlfriend are still having all kinds of awesome sex, even if intercourse isn't happening these days, so how can that be something to celebrate? And finally, Michael and his wife are thinking about trying swinging. What books should they read and how can they get started? I point them to all things Cooper Beckett and Life on the Swingset, including their Desire Resort swinging retreat they do every year. Want to support the show and get rad bonuses? If you support the show on Patreon at $3 per month, you get exclusive weekly bonus content you can't find anywhere else. If you support at $5 per month you get the weekly bonus content AND a chance to help me answer listener questions. Check it out at patreon.com/sgrpodcast. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Is your relationship with pleasure complicated? Check out my new pleasure course which is enrolling now through April 29, 2019 (we'll enroll again in June!). It's called Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy and runs for five weeks online. I'd love to see you there. On with the show! Anonymous shares how exploring and communicating with a partner can help open new possibilities to feeding your life and your relationship. Miss Submissive is hiring a professional Dominatrix and she would love some help learning how to be a bratty sub. Are there any resources for how to get started both as a submissive and as a brat? Some of the resources I share include Kink Academy's Brat series, "Submissive Fantasy vs Submissive Reality" as well as "Creating a Submissive Training Plan for Yourself" on Sugarbutch.net, plus Sinclair Sexsmith's Submissive Playground online course, Feisty Fox Films has this great post "In Defense of Brats", and Evie Lupine is a YouTuber who featured Brittany Simon on a video all about brats (and Evie has other videos on submission that might be worth a watch). B wrote in because she's in love with her ex boyfriend and he claims to be in love with her, but while they were together he cheated on her by sleeping with his best friend. B feels devastated and doesn't know what to do. I dive into trust, betrayal, the importance of friends, and why mental illness is never an excuse for treating someone badly. Plus, I ask folks to work to be mature enough to understand the level of devastation they can cause by betraying a loved one BEFORE doing something that hurts a loved one. No one should have to see the horror in a loved one's eyes to understand the impact of their own actions. Want to support the show and get rad bonuses? If you support the show on Patreon at $3 per month, you get exclusive weekly bonus content you can't find anywhere else. If you support at $5 per month you get the weekly bonus content AND a chance to help me answer listener questions. Check out this week's bonus where I read some SEXY EROTICA and support the show by heading to patreon.com/sgrpodcast. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Is your relationship with pleasure complicated? Check out my new pleasure course which is enrolling now through April 22, 2019 (we'll enroll again in June!). It's called Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy and runs for five weeks online. I'd love to see you there. On with the show! I received a doozy of an email recently all about a partner who watches porn and the damage that's caused to their relationship. The story of their relationship is long, complicated, and full of problematic behaviors, so this week, I spend a large portion of the episode slowly breaking down the email and what it looks like when we try to control our partner's behavior. We'll explore: Why snooping and looking at a partner's phone and emails never OK What to do when a partner comments on our bodies and tells us to make them look a certain way What to do when we are doing things we don't want to do sexually for a partner without receiving anything in return Why asking a partner to stop watching porn actually causes more harm in the long-run Why the science doesn't support sex "addiction", porn "addiction", or food "addiction" and who is profitting off of us thinking otherwise Unhealthy relationship dynamics And why we NEED to start our relationships with our values and dealbreakers so that people can enthusiastically opt-in rather than being forced to opt-out later Plus, a sad and confused email from Heart Broke Sex Freak. He cheated on his wife and left his marriage to be with the woman he cheated with only to have the new partner cheat on him. He feels lost and scared and like karma came for him. Can a relationship survive cheating? What's on the other side of infidelity? We've got some BIG questions this week, so tune in and see what you think. Want to support the show and get rad bonuses? If you support the show on Patreon at $3 per month, you get exclusive weekly bonus content you can't find anywhere else. If you support at $5 per month you get the weekly bonus content AND a chance to help me answer listener questions. Check out this week's bonus and support the show by heading to patreon.com/sgrpodcast. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

NOW ENROLLING! Check out my new pleasure course which is enrolling now through April 22, 2019 (we'll enroll again in June!). It's called Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy and runs for five weeks online. I'd love to see you there. On with the show! First up, Graeme Seabrook's latest blog post popped up in my feed a few times this week and caught my eye. It's titled, "Stop Grading Your Husband On A Curve" and spoke so deeply to so many of the questions I receive and the coaching that I do. Check it out, for sure. What would it look like to have everyone in a relationship show up and take 100% responsibility for the household, the chores, the management of scheduled? What would it mean if the women and femmes of the world weren't the ones who managed grocery shopping, meal prep, appointment setting, friend dates, and everything else that contributes to overwhelm and burnout? It's a big question that will require a lot of changes for many of us if we truly want equitable partnerships. That article paired perfectly with an older article that a marriage therapist I adore re-shared this week called, "9 Habits Of People In the Healthiest Relationships" and I want more of us to have more humor, transparency, positive regard, and connection in our lives, so let's chew on these a little and see what might need attention in our lives. If 69% of our disagreements in relationship are unresolvable, how do we continue to turn towards each other with humor and generosity, knowing that's true? How do we make time for each other, without distraction, when life gets busy? These are the kinds of questions I want more of us to sit in and grapple with. It would ease so much relationship distress for us all if we did. I'm also fielding two listener questions this week. First up, DNA has been with his wife for 17 years. They have an 11-year-old son. They recently decided to get divorced, but because they live in a really expensive area, they've decided to co-habitate as they co-parent. But DNA is having trouble moving on. He feels resentful that he's trapped, he can't deepen his relationship with the new person he's dating, and their families don't even know about the divorce because they're trying to protect their son. What can he do? Finally, Alice Joy wrote in because their partner is really dominant. So dominant, that they won't allow Alice Joy to touch them or to really receive pleasure. AJ isn't sure if it's because their partner doesn't want it or if it's because they aren't sure what they want, but it's impact AJ's confidence because what if it's them and how they do things? What can AJ do? This week on Patreon for folks who support at $3 per month and above, we're talking about sexual rituals and I'm answering a question from fellow Patreon supporter Just Fat about not being able to trust that her partner really wants her since she's in a fat body. Your support matters SOO much. If you support at $3 per month and above, you get weekly bonus content that doesn't exist anywhere else. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show or to tune into your bonus content. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Dawn Serra is the founder of Radical Summits, where she helps purpose driven business owners like you create beautiful, ethical, inclusive, speaker-paid, community-centered summits that leaves both speakers and participants feeling seen, heard, valued, and profitable. Dawn's vision is to show the entrepreneurial world that there's a way to host powerful, influential summits without all the sales tactics and empty promises.

Dawn Serra is the founder of Radical Summits, where she helps purpose driven business owners like you create beautiful, ethical, inclusive, speaker-paid, community-centered summits that leaves both speakers and participants feeling seen, heard, valued, and profitable. Dawn's vision is to show the entrepreneurial world that there's a way to host powerful, influential summits without all the sales tactics and empty promises. 

NOW ENROLLING! Check out my new pleasure course which is enrolling now through April 22, 2019 (we'll enroll again in June!). It's called Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy and runs for five weeks online. I'd love to see you there. On to your emails! Adam wrote back after hearing his email on the show with an emotional thank you. Beginning Gusher and Waterboarding Victim both wrote in with the same question from opposite perspectives. How can you prevent squirting? I share some thoughts and advice from other sex educators before weighing in with my thoughts. Essentially, our bodies are going to do what our bodies are going to do, and instead of stopping something natural from happening, a better question is what ELSE can someone do that feels pleasurable and connecting that might not lead to squirting if it must be avoided. Naive Nancy has a question about condoms. Her boyfriend claims that he can't wear condoms because he's circumcised. Is she being naive? Her friends think so, but they're also having all sorts of other kinds of sex that works for them. Is it a big deal? Maybe. Maybe not. Because male entitlement to pleasure is the gold standard right now, many dudes have internalized this sense of "I don't want to so I won't" when it comes to condoms. That said, all bodies are different, and one person's experience may be different than another's. Practicing with condoms during masturbation, trying differing amounts of lube on the inside of the condom, and eroticizing condoms can all help. But, bottom line, as long as he's respecting Nancy's boundaries, he can have whatever experience he has and it doesn't have to be about anything more. Nic wrote in about being someone who was emotionally and sexually abused. How can Nic find feminist community? Where can Nic find folks who AREN'T invested in misogyny and sexism? Let's talk about finding community and the ways we survive. Among the things discussed, I mention Laura van Dernoot Lipsky's books "Trauma Stewardship" and "The Age of Overwhelm", "Healing Sex" by Staci Haines, as well as "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk and Peter Levine's books. Want to support the show? EVERY DOLLAR MATTERS SO MUCH. The best part is if you support at $3 per month and above, you get weekly bonus content that doesn't exist anywhere else. This week we're talking self-care and fantasizing about your girlfriend's mom and aunt. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show or to tune into your bonus content. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

NOW ENROLLING! Check out my new pleasure course which is enrolling now through April 22, 2019 (we'll enroll again in June!). It's called Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy and runs for five weeks online. I'd love to see you there. On to your emails! Kim wrote in with a sweet note about hearing a trauma story on episode 246 and how much it reminded her that she's not alone in her healing and trauma. Thanks for the support, Kim! Katie has a request. As someone who is a sex researcher and who does a lot of work around sex, the thing that shocks people the most is that she didn't have intercourse for the first time until she was 30. She'd love to hear more conversations about people who don't have sex until later in life and the benefits and struggles that presents. I have so many thoughts which include not only the importance of talking about this, but also how it ties to sex work and a sexually equitable future. Future Mrs. is three months from getting married but she's never been less sure about whether this is what she wants. Her fiancé wants her to have threesomes with other women, and even though she's tried, she just doesn't want. But he keeps bringing it up and it's led to arguments and a lot of conflict. What can she do? Let's talk about what it looks like to respect someone's boundaries, to have the maturity to hold that our desires will be bigger than our lives can hold, and why expectations are the enemy of connection and trust. Finally, Distraught has had a few angry outbursts recently that have been rather abusive towards their boyfriend, and while their boyfriend does have some boundary work to do to care for themselves around it, Distraught is hoping for resources to help with anger management amid a chronic illness, changing career, and shrinking financial security. Help! My recommendations include Karla McLaren's Gift of Anger post and her other anger post, as well as Soraya Chemaly's "Rage Becomes Her", Rebecca Traister's "Good and Mad", and Brittany Cooper's "Eloquent Rage". It might also be helpful for Distraught to check out Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha's "Care Work" and this crip lit round up on Autostraddle around the grief and realities of a body changed by chronic illness. I also cannot recommend Cristien Storm's boundary book, "Living in Liberation" highly enough to everyone everywhere. (All of the books are linked to Amazon with my affiliate link. Check with your local, independent bookstores first, if you can!) Want to support the show? EVERY DOLLAR MATTERS SO MUCH. The best part is if you support at $3 per month and above, you get weekly bonus content that doesn't exist anywhere else. This week we're talking spiritual bypassing and I'm fielding a question on invisible and emotional labor that women often do. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show or to tune into your bonus content. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Two important things before we get started: Register for Explore More Summit, my free online conference! It starts February 25th, 2019 and the theme this year is PLEASURE. You do NOT want to miss it. Check it out here at exploremoresummit.com. Support Shine Louise Houston's crowdfunding campaign for her new erotic film, Chemistry Eases the Pain. Details are here. On to your emails! First up, CuriousMom was raised with a lot of sexual shame and body shame. As a mom of two daughters, she is doing her best to raise them in a sex positive way (and it sounds like she's doing a GREAT job), but she doesn't know what she doesn't know. Where can she find resources and support on raising kids in a sex positive home? I cannot recommend my chat with Melissa Carnagey from Sex Positive Families highly enough. It's at this year's Explore More Summit on the VERY FIRST DAY, so get on that. Also, Sex Positive Families is a MUST for all folks with kids in their lives. Check out their recommending reading list, too. It's for kids and adults. Also check out Nadine Thornhill, Cory Silverberg's books "What Makes a Baby?" and "Sex is a Funny Word", and once your kids are teens, they MUST know about Scarleteen. Next up, E wrote in with a sweet note about the ways the show has changed. I am so grateful for all of you!!! Then, Unimportant wrote in because they feel neglected by my lack of an email response. Let's talk about the realities of what happens on my end and why every single email is so treasured even if you don't hear back from me. Let's do this imperfectly! Finally, Adam wrote in. His wife has a very limiting disability and it's led to a sexless marriage. He's been hiring escorts to help with his sexual needs because he loves his wive and their children, and just isn't sure what to do.  And...THE AMAZING Shine Louise Houston joins us to talk about her new film, Chemistry Eases the Pain. Help support the film, check out the awesome perks, and spread the word. We need more awesome queer smut! Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show at $3 or more for exclusive access to this and every week's bonus content. This week? Supporters are getting something NO ONE ELSE IS GETTING! An exclusive extended clip from my chat with Melissa Carnagey of Sex Positive Families!  Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

ONE BIG THING before we get started: Register for Explore More Summit! It starts February 25th, 2019 and the theme this year is PLEASURE. It's free and online, and you do NOT want to miss it. Check it out here at exploremoresummit.com. On to your emails! First up, where can people go for alternatives to Tumblr now that it's banned porn? I found two articles with many of the same recommendations. Check out the Refinery29 piece and the Cosmo piece (this one is by Elle Chase, known as Lady Cheeky). As always, pay for your porn! Francis wrote in because they are struggling with being on top during sex. Is there something wrong? Why doesn't it feel good? They feel like everything is wrong, unsexy, and unfeminine and they are worried their ex broke up with them over not being able to do this position. The short of it is that not every position is for every body. We are all built differently and what we see in movies and in porn is meant to sell pleasure, not be a marker for "normal" or "real" sex. So instead, what would be pleasurable? What would feel yummy? Move in the direction of things that feel good and leave the rest. That's why sex can be so fun - it's an opportunity to be endlessly creative in all the ways our bodies are and possibly fit with other bodies. EEP! is struggling because their spouse is having some big feels and not managing them in a very skilled way. How can someone new to expressing emotions find a way to wield them with more care and how can EEP! care for their own needs through it all? First up, I highly recommend pre-ordering the new book "Burnout" by Emily & Amelia Nagoski which is all about stress, overwhelm, and ways we can process our stress feelings in better ways. I also recommend Tea & Empathy cards (which are in re-print status right now, so stay tuned by following Kate Kenfield). A free alternative is the feelings wheel. Aussie gal wants to know if having more disabled folks in porn will make them MORE likely to be abused since they're so vulnerable. Let's talk about invisibilizing and erasing folks in an attempt to "protect" them. NO NO NO. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show at $3 or more for exclusive access to this and every week's bonus content. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Two things to get started: Grab the official Sex Gets Real recommended reading list now! Not only will you have access to my most recommended books, but it will add you to the show's newsletter which is going to be crucial as social media networks purge sex education from their pages. Enter to win "Girl Sex 101" and "Bad Dyke" by Allison Moon to celebrate the New Year! One lucky winner will be selected at random on January 15th, so enter now. U.S. and Canada folks only. This week's Patreon bonus is some yummy poems (including one that ends with "Yes Mistress"), what it means to be an unchaste woman, and a super exclusive invitation for patrons to share their art for a project that's coming up this spring. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show at $3 or more for exclusive access to this and every week's bonus content. Time for your emails! Heidi wrote in with some thanks. I hope it's clear that what I share on this podcast is an invitation, not a prescription. Take what works and leave the rest. Amanda the Ace Mom wrote in because her son came out to her as asexual on Christmas Day. How can she support him? Here are a bunch of asexuality resources: AVEN - the biggest resource on asexuality I'm aware of. AVEN's FAQ for Parents Asexuality Archive - A Parent's Guide to Asexuality Teen Vogue: "What Being Asexual Means to Me" Booklist of YA Books with asexual characters (there are many of these, so this is just a starting point) Everyday Feminism: "5 Things You Can Do to Support Asexual Youth of Your Life" Trevor Support Project's page on Asexuality Jenny wrote in with a really touching and personal story about her experience with sexual assault, PTSD, and healing.  I got an update from Anonymous who wrote in last year with a question about not being able to have vaginal intercourse. Well, things have changed a lot for Anonymous and now she has a new problem. She can't get enough intercourse and her fiancé misses their old methods before intercourse was an option. What can she do? Finally, let's talk about #SurvivingRKelly.  Dr. Sami Schalk wrote an awesome, thought-provoking piece for Bust called "A Call-In To White Feminists About 'Surviving R. Kelly'". For those of you who have not yet see the docuseries or who aren't aware of all the conversations happening about the violence black women and girls face, read it now. Also, let's talk about centering survivors AND finding ways to accountability and healing that don't include prison. Because feeding the prison industrial complex helps no one. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Three things to get started: Grab the official Sex Gets Real recommended reading list now! Not only will you have access to my most recommended books, but it will add you to the show's newsletter which is going to be crucial as social media networks purge sex education from their pages. Enter to win "Girl Sex 101" and "Bad Dyke" by Allison Moon to celebrate the New Year! One lucky winner will be selected at random on January 15th, so enter now. U.S. and Canada folks only. See me speak FOR FREE about leaving my day job and starting life as an entrepreneur at the True Freedom Symposium starting January 14th. It's for folks who want to quit their day job. Note, some of the talks are super problematic, so watch with a grain of salt. Faves are Pam Slim, Leonore Tjia, Ed O'Neill, and SARK. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! This episode drops New Year's Eve Eve 2018, so just 2 days until 2019 begins to unfold. This week's Patreon bonus is one of my favorites from this year. We are doing a little New Year's ritual with some really beautiful self-reflective questions, I read two VERY erotic poems (shivers), and we're writing invitations for 2019. If you want to hear my invitations for the new year, my word of the year, and do some yummy little reflective rituals with me, head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show at $3 or more for exclusive access to this and every week's bonus content. I went through all of my emails, social media comments, and shares, and found the five most commented on episodes of 2018. They were: 5. Cavanaugh Quick on Episode 197 4. Ev'Yan Whitney on Episode 231 3. Dr. Lori Brotto on mindfulness, libido and sex in Episode 227 2. Staci Haines on trauma, healing, and consent in Episode 235 ...and the most shared, commented on, and emailed about episode was... 1. Andy Izenson on transformative justice and masculinity in Episode 221 Now, on to your amazing questions. Curious Vanilla wants to know of any feminist sex toy shops in Canada, so I share my three favorites. Womyns Ware in Vancouver, The Traveling Tickle Trunk in Edmonton, and Come As You Are Co-Op out of Toronto. Happy shopping, Canada! Awkward is dating her friend's sister. The problem? She never told him and now they've been dating for over a year. Plus, her girlfriend recently found out that Awkward had a previous sexual relationship with this guy (the girlfriend's brother) and feels uncomfortable with their continued friendship. What can Awkward do? Anonymous recently learned her neighbor is secretly into crossdressing and being dominated while doing housework. Now he wants Anonymous to be his Domme. He's so eager to come over and clean her house. The problem? She's not a Domme and not really into the whole thing. What the heck should she do? Lookin' 4 Love is desperate to know when will men stop sucking!? She's been hurt by so many men, including the men who seem less toxic and more self aware. Is she doomed? Are there ANY good men out there who aren't steeped in toxic masculinity? She's awesome and wants to find someone awesome to be with. And you know what? Lookin' 4 Love isn't wrong. Privilege is invisible to those who possess it, and it takes a lot of CONSTANT work and checking to begin to unpack it. There are men out there who are doing this work and doing it well, like Imran Siddiquee and his colleague Jonathan MacIntosh of "Pop Culture Detective". Also, Mike Domitrz of "Can I Kiss You?"  Finding rad dudes who are unpacking masculinity and speaking to other men about what they're finding is super important, and the good news there are more and more men doing this work. But hurt is inevitable in love and life, so it's not only about finding really rad men, but also building our own resilience in our own lives for being able to hold that hurt. Finally, I end the show with deep deep gratitude for you, dear listener. It means so much to me that you listen and continue tuning in, so hear my end of the year thoughts. Then pop over to Patreon and join me in looking ahead to 2019. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Grab the official Sex Gets Real recommended reading list now! Not only will you have access to my most recommended books, but it will add you to the show's newsletter which is going to be crucial as social media networks purge sex education from their pages. You can also enter to receive a Merry Clitmas card from me to you. Ten lucky winners will be drawn soon. What a great week of listener questions! I can't wait to dive into these with you. But first, the episode ends with a beautiful fat acceptance poem by Angela Braxton-Johnson, who I met at the Body Trust Provider retreat a few months ago. Angela generously agreed to read her poem for the show and to share more about what it means to take up space and find pleasure in a fat body. You do NOT want to miss it. You can learn more about Angela and grab her new book at angelabraxtonjohnson.com/ Now, on to your questions. First up, Tell Me What I Want, What I Really Really Want wrote in to report their orgasms are better than ever because of a discussion we had on the show about breathing during orgasm. Also, they have a question about rejecting romantic relationships in their life. Is it weird that she hasn't been in a romantic relationship? What if she doesn't actually want a romantic partner? I found a bunch of resources for TMWIWWIRRW that you can find down below. I also recommend checking out Kale Gosen's Relationship Anarchy YouTube channel if you want to learn more about RA from someone I think is pretty rad. Mikayla's boyfriend can't orgasm during sex. She wants to know how to change that or how she can let go of thinking it's her fault that he doesn't come when they fuck. So much to unpack here, including asking him what HE wants. T is struggling. She desires her girlfriend SO MUCH, and her girlfriend just doesn't feel that kind of desire in return. T is poly and has other sexual partners for getting sexual needs met, but she can't help but feel sad and rejected when her girlfriend doesn't want sex with her. What can she do to transform these feelings of frustration and disappointment? I LOVE THIS QUESTION. So many thoughts. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast where you can support for as little as $1. Folks who support at $3 per month get access to exclusive weekly bonus content you can't hear anywhere else. This week we are doing a prompt from "Writing Ourselves Whole" on desire and what we most want the stars to bring us. If you pledge $5, you get to help me answer listener questions. Check it out. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. Resources for Tell Me What I Want: 9 YA Books With No Romance To Read As An Antidote To Valentine's Day We Need More Books Without Romance: Why it’s so hard to find fiction that doesn’t focus on love and sex—and why that’s a problem Dear Prudence resource list for Tired Asexual The Value of Platonic Love Asexuality.org's Aromantic FAQ AAceClub's Aromanticism FAQ This is Why I'm Choosing to Remain Single Forever Single by Choice About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Sign-up to stay in touch with the show if we get banned from social media and iTunes. Sex Gets Real Book List: http://sexgetsreal.com/books/ Explore More Summit: http://exploremoresummit.com Enter the holiday giveaway for a hand-written Merry Clitmas card: http://sexgetsreal.com/holiday/ Sweeping bans to social media means no more sex education. A number of sex educators have already had content flagged and banned on Facebook and Instagram. It may become nearly impossible for sex educators and podcasters to share their content on any social media platform because of FOSTA/SESTA. If you want to stay in touch if the show gets banned across the board, please subscribe using the links up above. Get your email address to me ASAP so I can save it offline and stay in touch. Supporting the show on Patreon is more crucial than ever - we don't know when we'll be kicked off the platform, too. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast. Folks who support at $3 get access to the weekly bonus content and if you pledge $5, you get to help me answer listener questions. Important articles: FOSTA/SESTA piece is here, A new law intended to curb sex trafficking threatens the future of the internet as we know it Tumblr Porn Allowed Women To Be Sexual Architects Instead Of Objects. Now It’s Gone. Tumblr Was a Safe Space for Women to Consume Porn. Now It's Banning Adult Content. Tweet by anarcho_slut about Facebook changes. Facebook Community Standard updates. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course. It's me, my anxiety, and your emails. This week's selection includes advice on coming out, BDSM research, long distance love, and unprotected sex and herpes. At the top of the episode, I mentioned Ella Dawson's new piece, "In Case I Am Ever Murdered By a Man" and you can check it out here. Later in the episode, I refer a listener to Ella for her herpes activism, so use that link to get over to Ella's site and you'll see Herpes at the top of the page. Our first email is from a Patreon supporter, Tri. Tri has advice for a listener who wrote in a few weeks ago about a girlfriend who won't come out. I share Tri's advice and add a few of my own thoughts. Basically, each of us gets to come out in our own time, even if others don't understand. If you want to offer your own sage advice to listener questions, support the show at $5 per month! Suva wrote in because they are looking for BDSM researchers who are working with play theory. If anyone has any leads, let me know. In the meantime, I recommend checking out the researchers and articles in sexology journals. Here's a list of journals on Wikipedia. A little sidebar, too. Hear about a tiny oops Alex and I had with some lube this week. Plus, my anxiety makes a little show. That's life. Moving on, Lady Shy is a trans woman in a polycule, and one of her partners is about to move across the country. She hasn't done well with long distance relationships in the past. How can she set them up for success after this move happens? She really wants to preserve the relationship. Long distance can be hard, and it can also be such a beautiful opportunity for creativity and using all of this delicious technology we now have. What if you don't find your partner attractive? Is that normal? Is it a problem? How important is it to find your partner attractive? Let's talk about why attraction isn't always the most important thing and being in honest relationships. Anxious Annie has herpes. Her boyfriend insists it's not a big deal, but they've been having condom-less intercourse and AA is feeling really stressed about it. What if he gets herpes? What if she could have protected him? Does she trust his ease with it all? And if condoms would help ease her anxiety, should she insist on them or work on de-stigmatizing her own stories and beliefs? Let's talk about autonomy, herpes, and taking care of ourselves. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast where you can support for as little as $1. Folks who support at $3 get access to the weekly bonus content and if you pledge $5, you get to help me answer listener questions. Check it out. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course. It's you, me, and your emails.We're tackling gender, virginity, & being a man. First up, I came across this super helpful article in The Advocate titled "15 Signs You're a Gay Misogynist". Misogyny in gay men's spaces is rampant, so if you're a gay dude, you might want to check out this list and start having some conversations with your friends. Becky wrote in with a really sweet and supportive note about the show. THANK YOU, BECKY!!! Mary is 39-years-old and questioning their gender. How can Mary find some resources for learning about what it means to be non-binary and how to unpack it all? To start, I recommend Mary check out Sage Hayes, Jacob Tobia, Them magazine, ALOK, Sarah Thompson, this great interview between ALOK and Mia Mingus, and this activist list of trans and non-binary folks. Oh, and register for Explore More 2019 now!!! Anonymous wrote to me on Instagram wanting to know if it's normal to be a 23-year-old virgin and how to get a guy to like them and have sex with them. Help! Let's unpack virginity, desirability, and focusing our lives on what brings us to life (rather than "hooking" a partner). Find what lights you up and brings your life the most joy. Let that be a beacon to potential friends and partners. Hire a professional. Work with a coach (who isn't all about reinforcing shitty gender norms and playing games to 'hook' someone). Polymedic is a cis man. He is struggling with how much men suck. Both of his partners have been sexually assaulted, and both of his daughters. How can he raise his sons to be different? How can he even be in the world when he feels ashamed of even being a man and being part of the problem? Men Can Stop Rape is a group that might be worth looking into. Also, "The Mask You Live In" documentary is a great one. Cory Silverberg's "Sex is a Funny Word" is a book I cannot recommend highly enough. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast where you can support for as little as $1. Folks who support at $3 get access to the weekly bonus content and if you pledge $5, you get to help me answer listener questions. This week's bonus is a response to a listener question I got about having her ass eaten out and sharing her fantasies with a partner she worries will judge her. Check it out. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course. Frustration, fear, and feeling stuck? Your questions, answered. I'm at the Rehoboth Beach Film Festival, which means it's time for listener questions!  But first, if you're curious about coaching support, head to dawnserra.com - I have a few spots left before the end of the year. girl out wrote in because her girlfriend hasn't been coming out about their relationship, and she's struggling with why. How can she tell her girlfriend that it bothers her without pushing her to come out? What if this conversation always leads to a fight? Anonymous wrote in because she suspects her husband may be asexual. They've long had mismatched libidos and sexual desires, but he almost never wants to engage sexually with her and she's wondering if he may be asexual. She also asks about my Sex Map game, which you can grab here for $9. It's a really delightful way to start having new and curious conversations about sex and pleasure, especially if you've long been stuck in frustration or shame. Finally, Dawn (no relation) is frustrated. VERY frustrated. Dawn and her husband are living with her mother-in-law who is always home and her adult son regularly drops by, so Dawn and her husband can't ever have satisfying sex. They've all but given up, and working 3 jobs makes finding time nearly impossible. What can she do? Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast where you can support for as little as $1. Folks who support at $3 get access to the weekly bonus content and if you pledge $5, you get to help me answer listener questions. Check it out. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course. Listener questions on destroying a pussy, pleasure, and book lists. Brett Kavanaugh was confirmed for the Supreme Court the day I recorded this, so we start there. Howard Zinn's op-ed from 2005 speaks loudly to where we are today. And I read Monica Raye Simpson's letter to SisterSong followers today because it is more eloquent than anything I could say. "I have seen people talk about taking the country back, but as Black women we know this country and this government were never meant to serve or respect or protect us. We have to protect ourselves. And that is what we have always done and will continue to do." Monica Raye Simpson PainJane wants to destroy her pussy. She wants to make it unusable, to be used as a beer coozy, to be fisted, to be destroyed. She's worried her partner will think it's disgusting or weird, so how can she tell her partner about this fantasy and maybe even act it out? I enlisted a bunch of other sex educators to help me answer this terrific question. Sunny Megatron has some fantastic advice and lots of questions that can help PainJane and all of us investigate the "why" of our fantasies and the feelings of them that make it easier to talk to partners about our fantasies. Such good stuff. Anonymous wrote in because she's super new to sex positivity. She's looking for books and blogs that can help her learn more about sexuality, sex positivity, and unpacking her evangelical roots. So, I'm putting together an official book list. Join the Sex Gets Real newsletter here to get that recommended book list from me in a few weeks. Also, avoid educators and "experts" who position themselves as the expert in your body, your story, or sell One True Way to be sexual, woke, or kinky. Kat loves the show and wants more access to the resources I mention. Discouraged is struggling to find a hookup. She's a lesbian who wants to try kink, but every time she suggests meeting up with someone, they disappear. What gives? Is there a secret code word she doesn't know about? Celia wants to know how pleasure is political. Oh boy. HOLD ON. We're going for a ride on my passionate soapbox. Everyone should start with reading Audre Lorde - any of her work around The Erotic is crucial. Afrosexology and Feminista Jones are also terrific resources. This week's bonus is a very funny and sweet email about farting on a partner during sex. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast where you can support for as little as $1. Folks who support at $3 get access to the weekly bonus content and if you pledge $5, you get to help me answer listener questions. Check it out. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real Listen and subscribe on iTunes Check us out on Stitcher Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker Pop over to Google Play Use the player at the top of this page. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real". Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Are you ready to sign up for Take Up Space, my online boundaries workshop? Grab your spot today for just $37. Ten lessons, ten worksheets, a lifetime of shifting how you feel about boundaries. What if period sex is awful? How can we find different kinds of people sexy? And why so many men feel attacked when people talk about...well, men. There was a little change of plan at the last minute, which means this week I'm fielding a bunch of your emails. Want to hear your question read on the air? Just hit Send a Note in the navigation! We start with Alyssa, who wants to know where to find a trusted sacred intimate. I get this question pretty frequently, so I offer a few tips and tidbits about starting your search. Eric wants me to know that I sound bitter, broken, and sad when I talk about #NotAllMen, which leads me to gushing about Scene On Radio's "Seeing White" series from last year as well as their brand new series on "Men". I cannot recommend this series enough, and it speaks perfectly to Eric's feels about our conversations around men on the show. S.C. needs help with changing the bodies they find desirable, especially male/masculine bodies. What can they do to shift the bodies they find sexy? Patreon supporter Steph offers some advice, which I add to. (And Todd wrote in feeling upset about prior advice in this very space.) As I mention in my feedback to Todd, if you don't follow Andrew Gurza, I highly recommend it for a variety of reasons. sex banter fan is grateful for the permission around friend zones and having friends who are dudes. Just because we want something different from a friend, and we feel disappointed, it doesn't mean we should throw it all away in a rage. Finally, KD needs help with period sex. I have lots of thoughts, plus I've opened this question up on Patreon for folks to answer. This week's bonus is an hour long treat all about writing erotica. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast where you can support for as little as $1. Folks who support at $3 get access to the weekly bonus content and if you pledge $5, you get to help me answer listener questions. Check it out. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra: What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Hearing from you is the best Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)