Confessions Of A Financial Advisor

Where do we draw the line in terms of who's responsible for protection? Do we expect the government to protect us from everything?  Life is risky, and to an extent, each person is responsible for the risks they choose to subject themselves to. This brings up the question that at what point is the government overstepping or overreaching their authority in the name of “protecting the public.” In today's episode, Virginia and I talk through the concerns I have with the status of the stock market, interest rates, inflation, and general economic climate of the US right now. It's all accumulating to a point that's making me feel very on edge.  I have strong concerns about the stimulus payments that were sent to Americans because, as we express, some of us didn't necessarily need the money and we feel it could have been applied differently to really help those who actually needed it. It all comes down to access, education, and the privilege to have those things. Now, we're collectively facing the repercussions of rates being too low for too long in combination with the infusion of trillions of dollars as stimulus - recession.  The public will always spend money, although we may see a shift in purchasing trends. However, when seemingly excessive restrictions and regulations result in the suppression of free market will, we have a problem. In this episode, listen for: My frustration around when good companies get destroyed by government overreach Looking back at the mid-pandemic market peaks “Is there ever a point where we hit zero?” I'm constantly trying to find the balance between remaining informed and being oblivious. For now, it seems that watching the news is making me feel frazzled which is a signal that I do need to step away and get a fresh perspective. Thank goodness for the beach! www.unlearningproject.org

“Why does it have to be that so much of your energetic years are committed to earning income or saving or working? ” Society has ingrained in us that we have to work 50 weeks out of the year and only get two weeks off, but when you really think about it, that puts you on a path toward spending all your valuable time working, saving, and hustling instead of enjoying your life.  In today's episode, Virginia and I talk about Bill Perkins's book, Die with Zero. In summary, Bill's book operates off the premise that we work like dogs during the best years of our lives to accumulate a great deal of money but then never really spend it.  We live in a fear-based society where productivity, packed schedules, and accumulation of wealth are valued above all else. Well, guess what - they don't put your net worth on your tombstone, so what's all that worry on building a nest egg actually worth? Even if we reach retirement age with a healthy nest egg, we may find that we lack the physical and mental stamina to enjoy our newfound freedom. So, it's time we all focus on enjoying the prime years of our lives a little more so and worry less about accumulating a random number in our investment portfolio.  In this episode, listen for: Money is a tool for creating joy and happiness in our lives and in the lives of others  Your mind thinks of life as limitless and our years are numbered. You won't be as able and agile 10 years from now as you are today. Why it makes sense to front load your money and resources now There is no need to let the prospect of making and spending money frighten us into a state of financial restraint. Time is of the utmost value. Make the most of the time you have and steer clear of the all work & no play mentality. When you make a purchase of something, reveal that purchase, enjoy it to the max, and show guilt the door.  Is your wealth going to outlive you? If so, what can you do to create joy in the lives of those you love right now, making the best use of your money possible while you're here to take part in the memories.  www.unlearningproject.org  Bill Perkins's book, Die with Zero  

There are seasons of life in which all your energy, time, and mental space is taken up by your circumstances. The thing is, you probably don't even realize you were in a bubble until you come out of it. One major “bubble” of life is the 20 year period in which you have kids, are driving your career forward, and are likely caring for or at least keeping an eye on your aging parents.  Prior to having kids, we had a social life, ambitions, and even hobbies. But inside the bubble, our priorities are different and our own desires often get shuffled to the side. Sometimes the bubble consumes you so completely that it's tough to keep up with world events, pop culture, or anything that doesn't relate directly to our immediate family's needs and wants.    Comedian Bill Burr provided the inspiration for this conversation with his skit about The Bubble. Today, Virginia and I discuss our different phases of being in the bubble. The common rhetoric of practicing gratefulness directly conflicts with our natural desire to compare ourselves with others. Who has it worse? Does it depend on income, the number of kids, the grandparents' ability to help, working parents vs stay at home parents? Everything's a comparison.  The truth is, comparison and seemingly selfish thoughts are your brain's natural tendency toward survival mode. It's natural to look toward others as a gauge - are you doing better or worse?   Only your scenario is occupying your brain's attention. It's natural to think you'd handle a situation better than someone else. Our ability to understand what someone else is going through is limited by our own experience and true sympathy typically doesn't surface until we experience something equally as tough.    In this episode, listen for: It does not diminish the impact your condition is having on your life and mental health, even if someone else in the world is in a worse situation [13:38]    It's a natural instinct to keep moving forward and believe that things will get better to keep you from going down the rabbit hole of despair [27:32]   You must be aware of where you are in your life's journey and of your personal ambitions [38:31]    “The Bubble” concept becomes most apparent at the mid-life point. Once your kids are grown, it's possible you find yourself looking back, wondering what happened to the original goals you set for yourself in your 20s.  At this point, it's useful to redefine what some call a mid-life crisis. Although some go about it the wrong way, mid-life is often a great time to reevaluate your lifestyle, goals, and ambitions. This is typically the point at which you're exiting the bubble and finally have the mental space and energy to refocus on your desires in life. Are those things from your 20's still important? It's okay for goals to fade away, become irrelevant, or change.  www.unlearningproject.org

Have you ever noticed a tendency to view yourself as invincible? It's not a true belief of invincibility, but rather a perception that other people's experiences couldn't or wouldn't ever happen to us. Virginia and I both admit to this when it comes to being sick. It's not typically something most people admit out loud or are even conscious of, but it's the optimistic or perhaps naive assumption similarly phrased as “that won't happen to me.” For us, it's often like a badge of honor that we never get sick. The perception digs in deeper as we often assume we'd react differently, navigate better, or problem-solve more quickly than someone else.  This week I, Al Gugliotta, share about my Covid experience. Can you believe it? I wound up with Covid after two years of evading it! I still can't believe it although I'll have to come around soon since I'm still dealing with the chest congestion and all the after-effects. Maybe this is one of those instinctual patterns like fight-or-flight that helps us keep moving forward during tough times or maybe it's setting us up for disappointment.   In this episode, listen for: Having a greater sense of empathy and gratitude for the vaccine because of my exposure to COVID  [26:07]  We're terrified of stillness and quiet. We're conditioned to stay busy and if we stop, it's uncomfortable [39:47]  Are you too close to your life and lifestyle which prevents you from taking action on your goals? [51:44]  One thing I see clearly is the tendency for people (us included) to focus on a single issue that elicits an emotional response from them. We're so focused on local issues that are blown out of proportion by the media when there are much more impactful issues going on in the world. I've tried for so long to listen to all the news/podcasts to get both sides of the story and I'm starting to see that it's not serving me, leading me toward a media fast altogether. www.unlearningproject.org

You probably know someone who's always showing off their latest purchase- maybe it's gourmet lunch, a new car, the latest tech - you name it. When someone buys goods or services in an attempt to show their success, they are participating in conspicuous consumption.    These days, everyone posts on social media doing “humble brags” about their life, and even if they don't intend to showboat their status, that's exactly what's happening. Even something so seemingly innocent as vacation pics can be revealing of your status.    No matter what you share, there's always someone reading into it and wishing they had that money, time, experience, freedom, etc.     The entire point of achieving Financial Independence is to have a steady cash flow, work less hours, and spend more time with your family. When consumption is purposeful and when each purchase is meaningful, you'll automatically feel more fulfilled, no matter your financial status or achievements.     In this episode, listen for  Instead of spending money on luxuries that may or may not last, foster connections with the humans you care most about. When purchasing a car, television, or other items, consider whether it's a smart purchase over the long term, rather than participating in the latest flashy trends. You've seen ads portraying the “ideal” retirement lifestyle, but is that what you want your retirement to look like?    Long-term investing helps attain the financial freedom you desire, but circumstances change. Are you so impressionable that huge corporations can say anything and you'll believe it?    Corporations suffer little-to-no consequences for false claims or poor products while the general public suffers as a direct result of decisions they made. Think about all the scams in just the past 10 years - Volkswagen, Purdue Pharma, HSBC, etc. This is the point at which trust is broken. Instead of being easily swayed, use your better judgment, do your research, and decide the truth for yourself. www.unlearningproject.org

“You shouldn't deny somebody their bottom.” In the end, hitting rock bottom may be the only thing that will save you. In this episode, Virginia joins me as we discuss helping others and the possibility of helping too much. Imagine if someone came to you for help, how would you proceed?  How do you find the balance between letting someone fend for themselves versus sharing the wealth? Do handouts really help or do they ultimately prevent someone from experiencing the pain of hitting rock bottom and therefore denying them the fuel they may need to catapult toward success? In this episode, listen for,    You will never forget your rock bottom [20:07]  While you are at your lowest point, you must solve problems day after day in order to climb out of your slump [46:17]  Reflect back on your lowest points and recognize that you have developed as a result of your experiences.[50:35] If a person hasn't yet struck rock bottom, they may lack the perseverance required to achieve their goals and set a higher bar for themselves in the future. Consider the long-term results if you lend a hand. You'll eventually have to let the person you're trying to help get hit rock bottom in order for them to appreciate what they've been given. www.unlearningproject.org

Jim Rohn said “Everyday stand guard at the door of your mind.” We are constantly bombarded with information. Our minds grow hazy as we begin to believe everything that comes our way. You must maintain vigilance while screening out irrelevant information. Listen in as Timothy Messina joins me in a discussion about the harsh realities of the housing market crash and our contrarian views toward the corporations fueling the news content these days. Our discussion sums up the key points that stuck in our minds after watching the 2015 movie, “The Big Short” about the US subprime mortgage industry.  Sadly, families lost their homes (and many lost their lives) due to the 2008/2009 market crash because high-risk mortgage loans were chopped up and packaged into securities that received high-quality ratings, causing them to, for a short period, attract investors and drive the stock market and the housing market upward.  In this episode, listen for The definition of a true contrarian - do you think you could do it?  Better decisions can be made across the board with the right resources and solid research When something is popular, resist the temptation to follow the herd Billions of dollars are being poured into giant firms every day.  This bolsters their business, making them seem like an authority.  Meanwhile, consumers place their complete trust in these corporations and their “advice” to the public.  The oil industry and pharmaceutical companies, as just two examples, serve the public a healthy dose of what they want to hear while simultaneously covering up detrimental facts. The worst part? It's been going on since we were kids and probably even before then.  Rather than following the herd, consider going against it. Do your own research, stand up for what you believe in, and act in your own best interests. www.unlearningproject.org

“Success is a balance between optimism and realism where it's unhindered by the weight of pessimism.” Which one are you?  Is it ingrained in us to determine whether we are pessimists, optimists, or realists, and if so, do we continue to change in order to stay on track? Today, Virginia Elder joins me as we discuss how our minds operate, react, and what occurs when we're confronted with uncontrollable circumstances. In this episode, listen for: Examples of scenarios in which it is necessary to prioritize when problems occur- Optimists Reaslist Mindset (22:16) Optimistic realism enables us to experience the best until confronted with the worst (30:49)  Being a pessimist will keep you from attempting. (35:05)  When circumstances are beyond our control, we have to quit reacting emotionally. At some point, there's a need to evaluate and have a plan of action. We may think we're stuck in an unpleasant situation, but it's important to recognize that it will work out in the end.    www.unlearningproject.org

When you come from nothing, it's natural to push toward achievement. But what happens when you've achieved what you wanted?  Does the bar move higher, do you fear losing it all, or can you sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labor?  Antonio Porretta joins me today to hash over the conversation we started having over coffee nearly 10 years ago. We're able to look back, laugh and identify the key decisions that got us where we are.    In this episode, listen for: Setting the guidelines for what's possible and what's worth worrying about Walking the tightrope between striving for more versus benign grateful for what you have  Entrepreneurship can be lonely, so actively create ways to feel connected All the fear lies in anticipation of preconceived (false) notions in your head At some point, we must consider what our ultimate goal is. “More” isn't a goal. What is the point of scrimping and saving if you never stop and just enjoy what you have? Consider the sacrifice the generation before ours made so that we can have the privilege to look at life through our current lens. Maybe the goal should be just to give our kids a more advanced starting point than what we had.   www.unlearningproject.org

We face risks daily in areas of money, health, kids, family, education, career, etc. Some risk has to do with the decisions we make while other risk lies in not making a move. In what areas of your life do you think you're conjuring up risk that doesn't really exist or that's holding you back? As with many things, our personal risk assessment begins with what we learned in childhood. In some ways, we want to continue what our parents did, but in other ways, we'll have to make a conscious effort to unlearn the risks that they did or didn't take.  What proportion of our perceived risk is not real?  How does exposure affect our perception of risk? Do you tend to air on the side of caution or disregard risk? How would you act if you knew that risk wasn't real? With heightened self-awareness, you could identify and cherry-pick risks you're willing to take, identify biases, and alter areas in your life intentionally.   

Isn't it funny (not in the moment maybe, but eventually) how basically anyone can find research to prove their point no matter how extreme it may seem? The truth is, any “study” can be manipulated to include or exclude certain test controls, age groups, or other potential data points to prove their own bias.  These days, the media just fuels that fire by taking issues that a small subset of the population is facing and blasts it on all channels until we're all nearly convinced those events are happening in our own backyard.  In this episode, we run through all sorts of hot topics including gender, police brutality, fat versus sugar intake, school closings during the pandemic, incarceration rates of Blacks, politically fueled news stations, and more. It's no wonder there's general distrust in the information we're getting, no matter the source!

How should we actually react to everything that is going on in the world and the always-changing events; COVID vaccinations, anti-bullying, everyone wins, gender pronouns, and whatever else is to come? Perhaps we should accept that everyone will have an opinion on each of these issues. While remaining respectable adults, we need to have talks in addition to understanding what others think and grasp what's going on.  How can we know if the vaccine information we've gathered is accurate? Sometimes the media and big voices out there distort the facts by combining them with their own opinions and political views. The most important way we can make progress now is to listen intently to both sides, and, without being defensive, talk through these difficult discussions. That's the only way we're going to reduce the polarization.

Life takes you through a constant roller coaster ride full of beginnings and endings, but it’s how well you navigate the space in between those events that counts. In this episode, we both share about a transition we’re experiencing and that neither of us are really sure what to do with this time, whether or not to make a definitive move, or what that move would even be. Al’s chat with a coach recently helped him discover a book called Transitions, by William Bridges that he's now read through twice because it’s so full of helpful ideas and angles. It’s time we both just take a step back and not rush to begin or end anything, but rather sit in the weird, uncomfortable space that is transition and really feel, discover, and explore what was, what could be, and what we want. Thank you so much for listening - it’s been quite the journey! Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on Insta @unlearning_project

It’s generally perceived as being untrustworthy if you make contradictory statements or choices. But maybe you learned new information that allowed you to perceive choices and their expected results differently, causing you to change your mind and do something differently than originally expected. The media loves to find contradictory statements and drive a celebrity’s image downward, for example. But, we offer the possibility that someone who contradicts themselves often might be more trustworthy than one who digs their heels in even when presented with new information. Growth, fresh perspective, and continuous learning is praised, but it might make you contradict yourself.  Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on Instagram @unlearning_project (www.instagram.com/unlearning_project/)

Show up, do what you can, and even though you don't know how things will turn out, even when it looks like it’s not working or when it feels like it’s not worth the effort, just keep going. 90% of the battle is just showing up everyday. Within every journey exists moments where we question ourselves, our choices, our effort, and it’s okay not to know what will happen next and commit to enjoying the process anyway. It’s in the process where we grow and learn the most about ourselves. On the flip side, how do we know when we’re on the right path, putting all our effort in the right direction, or in a cul-de-sac, where no matter what we won’t get anywhere?   Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on www.instagram.com/unlearning_project

Your thoughts are not true, they are simply fleeting assumptions, memories, images, and ideas, that create your own internal experience. Thoughts have the power to help you enjoy every nuance of the moment or the power to take you away completely, as if you weren’t even present. What thoughts are you believing as true? Which thoughts are you taking action on as if they were facts? Time to examine where those thoughts came from, if you’ll allow them to stay, and what you might replace them with if not.  Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on Insta @unlearning_project

Your ability to see something in a new way or from a new perspective that allows you to reframe a problem as an opportunity or a weakness as a strength is a transformative process toward experiencing life with a more optimistic, open mind. We all carry beliefs and biases with us, but when we recognize all or nothing thinking, repeated patterns, and assumptions, we can examine the feelings those thoughts are producing, and intentionally rephrase those thoughts toward a positive possible outcome. Incorporating flexibility, curiosity, and knowledge that your thoughts are not facts may have a surprising impact on your attitude, the language used to and about yourself, and your behaviors as a result.    Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on Instagram @unlearning_project

We all have inherent biases that impact how we gather information, what we believe, how we interpret and recall information, and even what we expect based on circumstance. Confirmation bias is why we seek to find information that supports the ideals we already carry and why we reject any information that challenges our perspective. We carry possible biased memory, biased interpretation, and are likely to be performing biased searches for information without even realizing it. What are your biases & why do you think you still carry them? Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on Insta @unlearning_project

There’s much talk about being present in the moment, but not much out there telling us how to do so when we’re experiencing internal feelings of stress, anxiety, the need to do something or be somewhere, or feeling stressed for any reason. Psychological flexibility is one’s ability to cope by changing their perspective or behavior to align with a set of chosen values, even when it’s hardest. We both share examples and challenges in our own lives representative of an attempt at psychological flexibility. By the way, have you set personal values? Listen up! Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on Insta @unlearning_project

Getting curious about our feelings, reactions, and expectations is tough, but it’s a great way to dive into understanding which emotions we’re having in response to a stimulus and why. You may have heard about changing your language to say you’re feeling a certain way right now instead of identifying as that type of person. Curiosity is a great way to explore those emotions and release anxiety and fear around the unknowns, our reactions, and our stressors. When we’re leading with judgment, there’s tension, not only in our argument but in our physical body too. Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on Insta @unlearning_project

Welcome to the first episode of Unlearning Project, rebranded from Confessions of A Financial Advisor since we only occasionally talked about money. Al prefers talking about social dilemmas, psychological studies, mental and emotional health, and current issues we face as a society. The Trolly Problem, also known to psychologists as Bystander At The Switch presents the reader with a choice, to divert the train to save four lives but sacrifice one life in two different scenarios.    Today we compare this theoretical situation to the way the US has handled Covid-19. Al aims to dig into all sides of the restrictions - masks versus no masks, fully open businesses versus capacity guidelines, and social distancing versus “back to normal.” We discuss why herd immunity won’t work with Covid-19, the underlying mental and emotional effects of being under Pandemic restrictions for this long, and ponder the benefits of a totalitarian versus a democratic society when it comes to wide-spread health & safety issues.    For more on the Unlearning Project & Al, check out www.unlearningproject.org and follow the show on Instagram at www.instagram.com/unlearning_project   For more information on Covid-19, herd immunity, and lockdowns visit: https://www.who.int/news-room/q-a-detail/herd-immunity-lockdowns-and-covid-19 https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html  

Creating Confessions of A Financial Advisor fulfilled a long-time desire to expose the truths about the Financial Advisory industry. However, I’ve discovered my interests lie in issues around our beliefs, biases, behaviors, and fears. So, Confessions of A Financial Advisor is getting a makeover. You'll enjoy the same type of content you've loved most on the show, but the cover art, colors, content, and social channels are all being moved to the Unlearning Project. Stay tuned - the first new episode for www.unlearningproject.org will air right here with a new look on November 30th, 2020. Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com

Creating Confessions of A Financial Advisor fulfilled a long-time desire to expose the truths about the Financial Advisory industry. However, I’ve discovered my interests lie in issues around our beliefs, biases, behaviors, and fears. So, Confessions of A Financial Advisor is getting a makeover. You'll enjoy the same type of content you've loved most on the show, but the cover art, colors, content, and social channels are all being moved to the Unlearning Project. Stay tuned - the first new episode for www.unlearningproject.org will air right here with a new look on November 30th, 2020. Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com

My entire day is a matter of nervous system management. I naturally become more tense as the workday progresses, and if I don’t notice it and take specific actions to counteract the building stress, my fight or flight tendencies are in full swing. The nervous system shuts off the ability to think logically and clearly in a stressful situation, but we know little about how it works. The more steps we take to get outdoors, stretch, reduce unnecessary input, and take care of our nutrition and health, the more likely we will be able to keep our nervous system at bay. Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com Subscribe at www.faconfessions.com

When did you last say what you wanted instead of reading your partner’s or friend’s face before answering the question? We have all succumbed to peer pressure. The will to please, the desire to gain approval, how to “be good,” the proper way to avoidance of side-eye judgment from anyone anywhere, even if they are strangers, is infused into us, and one day we wake up and wonder why we are such people pleasers.  Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com Subscribe at www.faconfessions.com

Awareness and evaluation of the assumptions we carry is at the heart of this episode. I challenge you to notice any perspective you may have, dig to find out where it came from, find the most opposite perspective, and attempt to validate it. Polarizing opinions, stories, and media is popular right now, but what we really need is to learn open mindedness and to break down the walls created by the assumptions we carry.  Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com Subscribe at www.faconfessions.com

Our feelings accumulate from every encountered frustration, and we carry them forward, into the next situation, without us even realizing it. When we do boil over with tears or anger, it's not just one event that triggered the explosion of emotions. Each experience shapes us, and if we practice letting go of any resulting tension, only then are we be able to address the following situation with a truly open mind. Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com Subscribe at www.faconfessions.com

Managing money well doesn’t have to be as complicated as some of the financial gurus make it out to be. Learn what big pitfalls and financial traps exist and then set yourself up to avoid them. The younger you are or if you can set your kids on a straight path from a young age, the better because it’s easier to start out with positive, unnegotiable financial habits than it is to make a major adjustment later in life.    Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com Subscribe at www.faconfessions.com

Anger, resentment, guilt, and blame keep us from forgiving. We can forgive and choose not to reconcile the relationship. I’ve found compassion for myself and others while implementing boundaries with those who treat me poorly, drain my energy, or inflict turmoil into my life. Forgiveness and the choice to rid your life of stains leftover from a toxic relationship is the ultimate act of self-care and self-respect.   Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com Subscribe at www.faconfessions.com

We constantly question if we’re present enough, if we’re doing too much for them or not enough and how much is too much. The pandemic has rendered us all grounded to close quarters with our families, which increases the strain. Now the parenting balancing act includes online school and attempting to work from home while limiting screen time so we aren’t ignoring our kids for hours at a time.   Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com and on IG @fa_confessions

Is it not obvious that the confinement we’re experiencing as a result of the pandemic is robbing us of the one thing we crave most? Human connection - to feel similar to another, to feel a commonality with another. This lack of connection is skyrocketing mental health issues. We are living through a social experiment, what will the results show & what will they say about this 20 years from now?   Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com and on IG @fa_confessions

Given the current environment - pandemic, protests, and overall paranoia and fear - it’s interesting to compare our current reactions to these situations with the dichotomy of parenting styles. So-called helicopter parents attempt to protect their children from everything, which actually lends them to be more susceptible to injury, hurt feelings, failure, and being misunderstood instead. Is social distancing and obsessive use of hand sanitizer actually leaving our immune systems more at risk?

Ethical, responsible, empathetic children can be raised without being shamed as a sinner, threatened to a sentence in Hell, or praying to God, as is believed by most Judaeo-Christian families in the US. Instead, I believe children are born with an internal compass and inherently know right from wrong. In what other aspects of life does it make sense to follow a book written thousands of years ago? Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com and on IG @fa_confessions

The phrase sounds like something backwards and ridiculous, but people fear the consequences of success. We learn when we’re young not to outshine our siblings or classmates because it will make them feel bad. As young adults, we’re called braggers when we share a win. So we begin to keep our successes a secret, fearing what others will think if we tell them about something great in our lives.  Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com and on IG @fa_confessions

Our adult lives are colored by the influence of our family of origin. During childhood, we learn behaviors beneficial to us at that time, but as adults, those stories are still running subconsciously and driving our decisions. It’s important we stop to realize what those subconscious thoughts are, if they are still beneficial, and choose to surround ourselves with chosen friends who support our growth. Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com and on IG @fa_confessions

The personalities of varying family members have inevitably made each of us question our lineage at some point. Relationships with family members have a level of expectation intertwined since you’re stuck with them. Friends, on the other hand, are people whose personalities, beliefs, manners, and behaviors you choose to have in your life. When did you notice or feel that you had a choice? Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com and on IG @fa_confessions

Creativity is often imagined as this flowing release of innate talent when it’s usually quite a challenging and tumultuous process. I never labeled myself as a “creative” and have approached learning skills meticulously so that, in combination, they could be used creatively. Some people do harness creativity and the ability to share it with the world naturally, but that doesn’t mean the process comes without challenges. Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com

Judgment is this sneaky, underlying, natural trait we all have because it’s useful to our survival. We judge danger versus safety and joyful experiences against those that are grief-stricken. However, when that judgment is internalized too strongly and results in accidental self-sabotage or when it’s projected outwardly with excess which creates distance and misunderstanding between humans, evaluation is needed.   Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com

No matter the dissatisfaction in the present situation, there’s a strange level of comfort and security in knowing what we have and remaining in “safety.” This is why, as a society, we admire those who have the courage to make leaps of faith, and especially those who do it over and over again, ever up-leveling their impact and experience. Sometimes you just have to be shoved out of the nest to begin to fly.   Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com

In celebration of www.faconfessions.com 's launch in June 2019, we’re reflecting back over the past year and highlighting some of our favorite posts, discussing similar, ongoing topics, and we even touch on a few current events (we can’t help it!). Can you guess what our favorite topics are? Everything circles back to questioning our personal beliefs, being open to new perspectives, and continuing to seek instead of follow. Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com

The self-help culture of today will have us believe that positive affirmations, motivation, and self-talk are the keys to happiness. But that’s only the tip of the iceberg - just 10% of our brain is conscious. The unconscious 90% is actually running the show, perpetuating habits formed as coping mechanisms. The courageous work of becoming more conscious of hidden beliefs might be the most important work we could ever do.   Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com

When did being “busy begin to equal importance and productivity? It’s a feeling we’re taught to chase and strive for, but at what cost? Busy leads to denying deeper emotions and failing to give our full attention to anything in life. A sense of busyness can be an excuse to avoid connection; a distraction from being present. It leads to feeling constantly on the edge of burnout: the opposite of happiness and fulfillment.  Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com Insta: www.instagram.com/fa_confessions/  

We can’t control what we experience, but we can control how we choose to respond. Dropping the rope gives you a vivid mental picture of releasing the tension and letting what’s on the other side fall to the ground. This can occur when you chose to simply walk away, go against the expectation, or accept something without resistance. It applies toward anxiety, experiences, expectations, assumptions, and metrics of success. Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com

Everyone in the financial space tells you what to do, but nobody talks about what not to do. There are 4 simple things you just shouldn’t do if you’re working toward a comfortable retirement. These mistakes can easily seem like the “right” move but are detrimental to your future financial situation. Habits and understanding the compounding effect in any aspect of life are what will or won’t allow you to make progress. Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com

Certain moments in life require us to be tough, but other moments yield better results when we handle them with tenderness. Many men were raised not to cry, to be tough, and that tenderness would be perceived as weakness. Meanwhile, women absorb that femininity and harshness are incompatible. As it turns out, there are times for harsh reactions, but empathy and tenderness provide more conversation, connection, and even power. Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com

You hear people say it often - comments like, “Time is flying by! Make it slow down!” And when constraints are placed upon us, we stress out more. “I’ve got shit to do & places to be!” We despise dead time. What if this could all be flipped though? Deadtime can be seen as an opportunity and slowing down purposefully can make days seem to stretch longer and be more enjoyable. Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com

This whole parenting job requires us to walk the walk. Our actions as parents speak louder than words and I can easily list off things my parents taught me just by example. I especially learned what not to do. I’m extremely thoughtful about what my daughter sees in me and how my actions influence her life. I don’t tell her everything verbally, but instead, attempt to model intentionally with my actions and choices.   Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com

Success seems like this glamorous goal, but nobody talks about the dangers that can accompany being successful. When someone wins at a high level consistently, they can get an inflated perception of their skills, innate talent, or self-image. This is exhibited by the “behind the scenes” footage we often see of former rock stars’ lives. The worst thing that can happen to a gambler is that he wins and feeds the flame.   Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com

If you believed you had nothing to lose and potentially everything to gain, would you show up differently to your life? If you believed your best days and experiences were yet to come instead of in your past, would you approach each day and each interaction with more fervor? When I was young I was so full of insecurity, but the memories in my mind attempt to tell me otherwise. Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com

If you’ve ever looked around and felt like something was missing from your life, this episode is for you. We live in the confines of the familiar rather than striving toward our full potential simply because we’re taught to stay safe, avoid the unknown, and surround ourselves with what’s comfortable, much like a cheetah who’s been raised in a zoo. Most have never considered anything beyond their current life status. Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com

Comparison creates competition because without comparison, who are you competing with? Progress without competition is collaboration, the idea that we can all move forward together, in a helpful, supportive way. I’m so sick of the cut-throat, clinical, desperate environment competition creates. Where do we stand in the world though, if we’re not competing with anyone? Is some level of comparison absolutely necessary? Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com More at www.faconfessions.com