Going Terribly

We're all lucky to still have Alice around after her near-death bug trap experience this past week. Luckily a Backstreet Boys-featured musical has been the cure for what ailed her. Other discussion topics:- Is it time for another live-action Flintstones movie?- The possibly true (but likely not) story of the first person to dip fries in a Wendy's Frosty- How to play a slug like an ocarina- Paul McCartney vs. The Swede- Is your deep freeze big enough for your loved one? You know, just in case?

The NBA Playoffs have been going on for what seems like forever, and Alice was able to pull herself away from a scrapbooking endeavor to watch her first game. There's also some talk about computer shopping and domestic finance.Yes, this is adulthood, folks. We all need to get used to it.Other discussion topics may include:- Dongles- A basement escort- Cocker- Taking advantage of a browser's incognito mode- Yak butterAnd exactly zero of those are anything dirty, so looks like you need to grow up, too.

This week's episode sees the long-awaited return of Semi-Recent Semi-Decent News, featuring incredible journalistic integrity, thought provoking stories, and more poop than you could shake a stick at. Or would want to. Also, Alice got a much deserved promotion, so please congratulate her! Even if Doug will never remember her new job title.Other discussion topics may include:- Terminal degrees: Sad or heartwarming?- A 98-year old war hero still being a hero- What are your favorite f words?- Gas tank chicken nuggets- Sperm racing

This week Doug asks Alice some much anticipated, very important questions. They involve God, rivals, and, of course, bologna sandwiches. Alice teaches Doug about translucent babies, and he does not take it well.Other discussion topics may include:- Has Michael J. Fox ever sung a song?- Turning retired rats into delicious milk- The sounds of tortoise sex- Eleven is way too many members for an upstart band- Vagina Havin' Sleep Walkin' Mamas.

This week Alice and Doug pull up the ol' random topic generator and test their ability to talk about made-up holidays, strange movies, and more. It goes pretty well, except for Alice giving the audience a Star Wars spoiler (no, not that one) and Doug admitting to spraying fake vomit in a church. Other discussion topics may include:- Which of the 16 Star Wars TV series is your favorite?- Changing the Jaws score to scat music- What food looks disgusting but tastes delicious?- Swiss Army Man Knife: Big Dan- Anyone know how to get ahold of Yo Yo Ma for personal appearances?

This week Alice is moved by an Indianapolis surprise while Doug celebrates wrapping up the Harry Potter movie franchise. There's also some weird Jesus/Four-Twenty/Hitler stuff for everyone else.Other discussion topics may include:- The desire the watch more shows alongside John Larroquette- What is your favorite song called "Power of Love"?- How to stalk unsuspecting geese- A theory that the IRS won't be checking anyone's taxes this year*- How loud is too loud to chomp on bones and cartilage while staying in an Airbnb?*Follow this theory at your own peril

Alice has some very conflicting feelings about Severance. Doug has very conflicting feelings about Alice's very conflicting feelings about Severance. It's a whole to-do. Other discussion topics may include:- Tree elevators vs. Brothels- What are Mario, Luigi, and company up to these days?- It's 2025 and OJ Simpson jokes are as good as ever- White Castle airplane sex- WHY ISN'T THERE A MYST MOVIE?

Heard any good news lately? If not, you've come to the right place. This week Doug and Alice seek to shine a little light into this recently darkened world without positive stories from around the world. Unfortunately, hearing about saving babies' lives and heroic vermin might make them question their own value. It's a win-win, really. Other discussion topics may include:- "Translucent Baby Skin" and other phrases that should never be said again- Could there be a menacing murderer living in your attic?- Happy birthday to the guy who guest starred in the first episode of Hot in Cleveland- Are nonprofits only run by non-prophets?- Really old sex news

In this episode Alice and Doug take a look at comptrollers, caulking, and work-related virtual reality implementation. You know, real adulty type matters. But not all this week's topics are so sophisticated. They also discuss chocolate butter, ancient Greek sugar daddies, and NSFW virtual reality implementation. And they do it all like gangbusters. Other discussion topics may include:- How much do you believe Toronto's reporting of Japan's research?- Cross breeding grapes, and other ways of playing God- Enjoying robots while they're still just toys and assistants- Ben and Jerry: Busting caps in the competition since 1978- What is John Wilkes Booth's EGOT status?

It's time for an appetizer of "What's That Finger," followed by a main course of "New Yum City." Whether slurping down some cocktail sauce or seeking foot-long tortilla chips, grab a plastic or metal fork, extend your tongue, scrape your teeth, and let's get crackin'. Enjoy your meal!Just leave anything cotton candy flavored out of this.Other discussion topics may include:- Little Debbie's political leanings, or lack thereof- How to get drunk off a sleeve of Pringles- Australian McDonald's : Wacky or Ingenious?- The middle aged and cranky Spice Girl- Have ramen noodles gone too far?

Alice and Doug babble on about clicky headphones/skulls and delicious, community-ordered hamburgers. Also, they might accidentally get Mrs. Shen arrested. And what household name owes his success to a $5 correspondence course and way-too-expensive bagel equipment? You'll see.Other discussion topics may include:- Multisyllabic sneezes- Coldplay covering Reba McEntire...?- Dislocated eyeballs (nobody look that up)- Gas station taco hubris- Gingerbread poutine. Or something like it.

Ep. 232: Two Fabulous Foxes in a Caramelized Leek DipAlice and Doug recently took a very pretentious trip to St. Louis, where they took in some culture, fine cuisine, and a questionable lodging situation. Doug also learned about adding flavors to hot drinks, while Alice took on a new food addiction. And remember, friends. You're not just some flat piece of toast. You're a full chunk of French bread. Other discussion topics may include:- Herniated disc jelly- The difference between colonoscopists and baptmizvahs- Spit on that thang: Build-A-Bear edition- Drunk Shakespeare- Foot or Butt - which wears the sexier thong?

Everything from slaughterhouses to Melania Gibson is covered in this extremely educational episode of Going Terribly. Along the way, Alice and Doug make a (slightly too late) Curb Your Enthusiasm pitch and reminisce about marching band. Which, of course, everyone was in back in high school.Other discussion topics may include:- Did a first lady lose a limb in the White House?- Lord of the Lethal Weapons- Does a one-day old antelope have eyeballs?- How Interview with the Vampire could be a great pre-op educational tool- Larry David meets the Berenstain Bears

This week Alice and Doug partake in an epic debate on timepieces. It's every bit as ridiculous and incorrigible as you are imagining. Elsewhere, you can expect to hear about dog bites, tiny old (possibly creepy?) old men, and the eightest cent butt you've ever seen. Other discussion topics may include:- Professional wrestling legend Tea Leoni- Proper usage of the popular expression "To feel in one's taint"- Guard cats and rottweiler ghosts- Would the Harry Potter movies have been better with Sean Astin?- Pumping that nickel

This episode is not brought to you by White Castle. No matter how much or for how long Doug and Alice sing its praises, we can not stress to you enough that White Castle is not a sponsor of Going Terribly. There is no affiliation. There are no favors being passed. There is no secret agreement. They just really love White Castle, okay?Other discussion topics may include:- The cats have not yet earned microphones- Should your birthday change when you move?- Classic swing tunes, such as the NewsRadio theme song- Is 43 too old to say "horsey"?- When tramp stamps meet classic literature

Alice survived her surgery! That's really all you need to know. And my, what a great reason to listen.Squishy disc, be gone!Other discussion topics may include:- The fine line between good bedside manner and accidental- How much hospital Pepsi is societally acceptable post surgery?- Becoming a backup singer for hospital equipment- Dolly Parton making us all wait- Mickey Mouse as a hospital roommate

This episode was going to be dedicated to the 1980s sitcom 227. But more pressing matters are upon us, as Alice is facing surgery tomorrow morning and Doug has a garage door to fix. Sorry, Jackee. Other discussion topics may include: - A world flag featuring all the major countries, such as Baklava - Grindstoned noses, greased elbows, and other cliche body alterations - What is your favorite slow ballad to tap dance to? - Appointment beheadings are really big these days - Offending fluids

Alice and Doug recently took on The 12 Days of Carrey, where they watched Jim Carrey movies for 12 straight days. That's the second half of the episode, so you've been warned. But don't worry. The first half has plenty of fart, poop, and other butt related stuff like usual. Other discussion topics may include: - Restaurant floor dining - Lou Bega and the American flag coming together in perfect harmony - A critique of garbage salads - Duane Johnson Soup - Alice's across the pond artistic debut!

It's Doug's birthday, and Alice has a super cool niche surprise for him that you all can take two minutes out of your lives and humor Doug for. Because if you make it that far, you'll also have heard the "crudest, most disgusting thing" Alice has ever heard. Really, everyone gets a present. Other discussion topics may include: - Could your doctor also be a spy? - Inadvertent Costco tease PTSD - Bonus New Yum City! - What do aspirin and heroin have in common? Spoiler: Nearly everything - Beethoven's Turd Movement

Welcome to New Yum City! Doug introduces us to new and upcoming snacks. Meanwhile, Alice considers upcoming surgery, if the American healthcare system can ever fix itself. And the cats have learned some chicken bone tricks. Other discussion topics may include: - A new wishbone proposal: whoever gets the bigger half will be extra happy in the bedroom - Cats have "emotions." Who knew? - Valentine's Day is trying to steal all of Christmas's traits - We need more chicken nugget shapes - Is the Nutty Buddy Cream Pie the dirtiest sounding Little Debbie snack?

Alice's search for answers about her ongoing pain have led her to MRIs. Doug's search for answers about nonsense have led him to the Norman Conquest. Very interesting times indeed. Other discussion topics may include: - How fat thighs and large breasts can make it hard to fly - Some bad news for the goodest boys - Ever cared to taste a salamander? You will. - The home shopping network that's not The Home Shopping Network - Who holds the ceremonial giant scissors at beheadings?

Alice and Doug welcome back special guest Wendy Brown in this New Year's extravaganza. Doug puts Alice and Wendy's stress levels to the ultimate test. But Alice might be too (prescription) drugged up to feel the stress. Plus, is Wendy too kind for roller derby? Does Doug know *any* U.S. state capitals? And has Alice been watching the Saw movies too much? All this and more as we ring in 2025 in Terrible style. Other discussion topics may include: - New Year's festivities like fireworks, parades, and neighborhood gunshots - Drew Carey's napping assistant - The best thing before sliced bread - What if Sir Anthony Hopkins really is a cannibal? - Time is Crazy!!

Andy Jones joins Doug and Alice for his second Christmas special, regardless of how Doug remembers things. Together, they play some holiday games and, of course, talk about Alice's poop a little. Can you guess which Christmas movies are family friendly and which are...absolutely not? You might be surprised. Other discussion topics may include: - Is 80 tabs too many to have open? - A tattoo based on a huge dining mistake - Potentially questionable stationery collections - Christmas themed crimes and injuries - The coolest celebration tradition in all of college basketball

New segments are introduced. But overall it's the same ol' same ol'. Come learn some stuff about poop. Sadly, Alice does not pee her pants this episode. - Alice's exciting new hobby that she most definitely would not have paid for - Who would listen to a Schindler's List live watch along? - Trash ramen is not trash - Poop gloves: What would they be to you? - The pros and cons of a partially smart house

Alice is back! And Doug is here! Going Terribly is back on track with its usual two hosts, perhaps out of fear the guest hosts over the past few weeks might be gunning for their jobs. Where would that hit them on a 1-10 pain scale? Who's to say? But they'll cover said scale, along with possible kitten names, and more in this comeback episode. Big time suburbanite stuff inside. And before it's all over, someone might just pee a little. Other discussion topics may include: - Famous blues magician Muddy Johnson - Where/how would your intestine hang out, and why would anyone ask that? - The deliciousness of a Cyclone Supreme pizza - The most painful idea for a tattoo ever? - Disney vs. Joel Osteen: To whom would you listen regarding your pet's death?

Well, it's Alice's turn to go on vacation. Er, be out sick. So William/Will/A Random Fellow is filling in to try to make sure Doug doesn't screw everything up while she's gone. Doug has a game prepared, but Will is ready and has brought along his own. Who takes control of the show? It's the ultimate battle of wills. Well, battle of Will and Doug, rather. Other discussion topics may include: - A special visit from one of the creators of possibly the worst PSP game ever made (no, really!) - Some possible names for the new Terrible Kittens - A healthy post-Thanksgiving serving of bullcrap pie - Why Celebrity Price is Right would be really stupid and really fantastic - Stormy Pinkness

It's two days before Thanksgiving, and Alice and Doug have a lot to be thankful for. And yet, somehow all they could really think of was Ryan Reynolds. But there is a big surprise later in the episode (well, technically two!) that will be more than enough reason to stick around. Other discussion topics may include: - Did you know America's Funniest Home Videos is still on the air? - How humane society trips are like sex - Making cakes out of hamburgers. Or vice versa. - Is a toaster a good gift to get for the celebrity who has it all? - What in the world is a Rizzler?

Doug is back! And he brought most of his voice with him! But, most importantly, Alice just had her first mammogram. And, number two* in importance, today is World Toilet Day. So enjoy plenty of scatological goodness. Other discussion topics may include: - Can you overdose on Theraflu? - Better band name: The Horizontal Shelf or A Ketchup Bidet? - A heckuva Donald Duck pooping impression - Plungers hanging from the ceiling - An entire lasagna *heh

Doug has fallen ill, but Going Terribly wasn't about to miss a week. So, for the first time ever, there's a guest host! Naem Madi is on board to help out while offering his own twist of fun with the musical "Naem That Tune." Meanwhile, Alice offers insights on Hollywood celebrity family feuds (not of the Steve Harvey variety) and Hemingway/Bible/colon connections. But Doug does offer a couple of notes from the grave. Er, sidelines. So you won't be completely free of him. Other discussion topics may include: - Who is Bella Thorne to you? - The downside to snakeskin soap - Have you forgotten about Dre? - Would you rather win one fewer Oscar than your sister or just go ahead and die? - Ryan Gosling wasn't available

This Sunday is Alice's birthday! With Alice hitting the big 4-0, Doug digs up a bunch of stuff from Alice's birth year that might make her and Steve Guttenberg feel a little old. Like Who's the Boss and Depends. Doug presents a couple of games and even tries his hand at Alice's most popular segment. Other discussion topics may include: - The disappointment that spinal taps aren't as serious or dangerous as they sound - Purse Suer vs. Purse Sewer - which is the worse pun? - The 1984 hit Seinfeld movie - It Takes Two: Electric Boogaloo - Lots and lots of quantum stuff. Or not. Better grab a pocket calculator just in case.

Happy Halloween! Alice and Doug invite Kevin Roach to the show for his annual Halloween episode. This year they debate which horror movie villains they'd bed (spoiler: The Predator has some sexy abs) and recite a brand new scary story. They also discuss the merits of a travel bidet (or two!) and wonder if Pat Morita could have convincingly played a small town sheriff. Other discussion topics may include: - The dark side of Dr. Seuss - Auntie Lee's Meat Pies - When on a vibrating boat, are you more likely to poop yourself, orgasm, or gently fall asleep? - That time Hitler unwittingly left some DNA in a sausage mixer - Honestly, more routine cannibalism talk than should be comfortable

This week Alice leaves her scheduled colonoscopy up to a Facebook vote while Doug scours app stores for strange Fitbit alternatives. This is adulting in 2024. Other discussion topics may include: - Why isn't there a play or musical based on the 1987 cinematic classic Mannequin? - Maybe a little too much Enrique - Are you wealthy enough to afford cameras in your medication? - All the things about Ernest Hemingway that rose...and didn't. - It's Mrs. Shen's birthday!!!

Alice has a colonoscopy coming up. Somehow this isn't the first topic she and Doug discuss. But once they get on her butt, boy, does it prove difficult to get off. Other discussion topics may include: - Completely unrelated Tummy Trouble - Turkey Testicle Festical - Would you trust a biology teacher/realtor to perform routine surgeries in your home? - Attempting to hold friends hostage using really comfortable furniture - Steroids might get a bad rep, but goodness, do they make your face skin lovely.

Could you imagine if today were Julia Roberts's birthday?! It's not, but could you just IMAGINE?!?! Elsewhere in this week's episode, Doug and Alice just got back from St. Louis (and TO the future!), and now they're ready to find some fowl balls or other unusual body parts to devour at the West Side Nut (heh) Club Fall Festival. Other discussion topics may include: - Keep ketchup off your hot dogs - What do you do once you've tried every flavor of every brand of sparkling water? Is it just over now? - Near universal praise for Costco...except for a troubling recent move in their chicken packaging - Jame Doody Dench - Revisiting the time certain adult toys may have been lost in a matter of national security

September's over, so wake up and join Doug and Alice as they consider alternate Barry Manilow fandom names, question their new home's bathroom setup, and, most importantly, celebrate a special 100th birthday. Plus why does the international market have so many cooler RC products than we do? Other discussion topics may include: - A nostalgic start to a life long love affair with cheese curds - Dropping your drawers in a grocery store - Supper bullying - The Sound of Music vs. West Side Story - How's your classic movie trivia? - Relentlessly trying to get noticed by well endowed people

Doug and Alice have been doing a lot of burying of ledes lately, and it's time for all the news to finally come out. Major life changes have occurred. Are they shrouded in murder or in tradition? There's only one way to find out.* Other discussion topics may include: - Life is a lot more bearable when you picture all your finances in board game money - A celebration of Eckerty, Indiana, if it does indeed exist - Your garage and bathroom don't need TVs, but wouldn't it be cool? - How to rid your own cabbage patch of those darn babies - Pleasantville, Stepford, or Get Out - what's your ideal neighborhood? *Okay, we suppose a second way could be to watch for arrest reports, but you're slightly more likely to get some bathroom talk here.

Alice teaches us about the differences between Chinese language and symbols, as well as differences in sign languages between countries, including accents! Meanwhile, Doug makes a joke about Mario's penis. Other discussion topics may include: - A literally childish alien obsession - Is there anyone who uses a letter as a first name who isn't successful? - A computer literally tries to take over the episode (it's happening) - How smarmy are you allowed to be when narrating a corny joke book? - Happy birthday to the U.S. Constitution...for better or worse.

It's a Great Day with Doug, even if by force. Enjoy a trio of film directors' birthdays, some great news regarding Alice's band, and Doug gushing about his favorite musician. And even Barry Manilow. Other discussion topics may include: - The Sound of Music meets West Side Story in a battle to the death - Try to name a non-sweet food that wouldn't be great on mashed potatoes. You can't. - Should Quentin Tarantino write a musical? - The phrase "milk ejection time" is used, so you probably want to get to the bottom of that. - You know you've made it as a band when Rotel dip is your opening act

Alice has been a bonehead again. Doug almost had a tree crash down on his. It went terribly lately, but they're still hanging in there. They just can't pronounce anything correctly. You'll see. Other discussion topics may include: - Why Rick Moranis retired from acting - Buttery salty fingies at the furniture store - How to brush your teeth. Or maybe how not to. It's really up in the air. - Storing things in your prickly ash - One of Dr. Pepper's 23 flavors might be tomato, and that's enough to give up on the world, isn't it?

It's time to generate some random topics! Just what have Doug and Alice been breaking and losing lately? Besides hearts and farts, of course. Find out in this butt flap vibrating episode. Start your engines and form your nethers. And watch out for shatnel. It's Going Terribly. Other discussion topics may include: - Delivery robots who demand to be taken seriously - Have you heard women can both own land AND vote now? Progress is being made, folks. - Costco samples vs. outright theft - What's something commonly do today that you think people will wonder why anyone would ever do that fifty years from now? - The Physics of Pharts

Alice and Doug recently returned from St. Louis. There was art, food, shopping, and, of course, IKEA. Now they're back to tell you all about it while also touching on scrambled pancakes and the difference between anuses and rectums. Other discussion topics may include: - Stale corn nuts and the palpating innards that accompany them - Controversial ice cream jokes - Which is the worse kind of nursery - a plant store or a baby store? - Bacon Medusa - The sickest Bosnian coffee jingle you're likely to hear all day

It's time to take a trip down to New Yum City! Doug and Alice discuss recent and upcoming tasty (and/or really weird) treats. Honestly, why do other countries' McDonalds and KFCs have such amazing menu items? Step it up, America! Other discussion topics may include: - Caramel, gyro, and other relationship threatening words - Why don't we drink any animal's milk other than cows? - Powder filled chips and candies - School anxiety dreams - BIRTHDAY CAKE FLAVORED THINGS ARE A HORRIBLE LIE

Did the pied piper murder a bunch of children? Have you ever rubbed emu parts on yourself? And just what *did* Daniel Radcliffe do to that horse? Find these answers and more in this highly educational episode. Other discussion topics may include: - The disappearance of Amelia Earhart and Jim Liverballs - Sinning in the Rain - The dichotomy of watching Olympic gold medalists while absolutely pulverizing a pizza buffet - If you want cockroaches in your sparkling water, prepare to be disappointed - Yes, the "Big Unit" situation is addressed

Years in the making, it's the 200th episode of Going Terribly! For the first time ever, Alice and Doug are joined by special guest Laura D'Alto! The trio then spend the next hour and a half mostly discussing poop. Listen, what else do you want? Along the way, Laura does class it up with talk of K-pop concerts, World War II musicals, and an obvious love for her job and her family. But when left to their own devices, Alice and Doug drag it straight back to poop. You'll love it. Other discussion topics may include: - How a hot dog a day can keep the Grim Reaper away - Shows that Going Terribly is already better than, and others that will soon be conquered - Fluffernutters, but different - Would a competitive eater having two stomachs be considered cheating? - Getting ghosted by Jesus

Want to please your man? Write him a lovely haiku, And spit on that thang. This week Alice and Doug welcome acclaimed poet/umpire/pirate/babe sketcher Nick "Frick" Wentzel. Games are played. Games that, someday, could just supplant baseball as America's past time. Time will tell. Other discussion topics may include: - What is your lick potential? - How to be judge, jury, and executioner of small children - Dame Judi Dench has still got it going on, and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise - What's your favorite poop themed cereal? - Just what in the world did birthday boy Daniel Radcliffe do to that horse?!?

Wasn't there something we were supposed to talk about this week? I can't remember... Other discussion topics may include: - GAME OF CONES V: Indiana Cones and the Swirl of Density - Gulf War cannibalism...technically - Music that makes you want to go home - Why your 4-year old is dumber than some birds - Celebrating the emus who sacrifice their lives so you can soothe your bug bites

There's allegedly time travel. There's supposedly quality poetry. There's definitely ball sweat scented things. But what's most important is THERE ARE STILL NO FRIGGIN BIRDS!!! Other discussion topics may include: - A celebration of crime murder game persons - Who needs zippers when you can just sew everything shut? - Hot take: Virginia Vietnamese food just isn't as good as Indiana Vietnamese food - Is origami paper size too big for a quality cheese cracker? - A taboo celebration of eating ash

We celebrate a very special birthday today! And goats! And God. And Lake Bell, who honestly should be the voice of God. Other discussion topics may include: - Elusive noodles (wink) - Music that jams, rocks, slaps, and is, most assuredly, bussin' - Peach passes (wink wink) - Louisiana social workers and the stars who loved them - Sexy baby voices (...wink?) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/goingterribly/message

Alice and Doug are gearing up for next month's annual ice cream crawl while lamenting their failure to bring other unholy food events to fruition (YET). There's also an impromptu and accidentally cruel game of 20 Questions. Other discussion topics may include: - A satisfying drip - The unfortunate discovery that both George Michael AND George Orwell are dead - Introducing a young child to graphic hip hop music, out of respect for the art - It is completely okay to refuse to accept sucky homemade gifts - Children's show characters that don't have hands up their butts --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/goingterribly/message

Boy, does Alice have a tale for you. Travel, mystery, sex, and, for whatever reason, an iPhone 7. Everything you could want from a modern thriller. Well, except the iPhone 7. Meanwhile, Doug can draw Barney Rubble. You'll have to take his word for it. Other discussion topics may include: - How can you tell if you're in your own Fight Club scenario? - Is art magic?* - Some really clever jokes about how Mormons have multiple partners - The compulsive need to watch Titanic anytime it's on television - Pranks vs. Crimes, and when they can overlap *Yes --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/goingterribly/message

Alice is still mysteriously coming atcha from afar through the radio airwaves, and Doug is thinking of joining a pasta cult. But oh wait, maybe he already has.... Other discussion topics may include: - Virginia adventures, featuring both reefer and bird poop madness - 30-year old mattresses - Waiting for technology to catch up so society can finally enjoy singing billboards - Chasing delicious, delicious waterfalls - How often do you burst out wrestling in real life? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/goingterribly/message