As parents of atypical kids, we are going to continue to lead challenging lives. Despite overwhelm, isolation and uncertainty, we can cultivate joyful moments, which will help us feel more connected, kind and present with our kids. Together, we can turn t
Essential skills for parenting neurodivergent children, from managing expectations to dealing with discomfort. In this episode, I'm talking with Dr. Matt Zakreski, a clinical psychologist, founder of the Neurodiversity Collective, and co-host of the Nerding Out on Neurodiversity Podcast. We're sharing personal stories and expert advice on managing expectations and finding community support. Dr. Matt introduces his book, 'The Neurodiversity Playbook,' aimed at helping parents and neurodivergent individuals navigate a neurotypical world. 3 Ways To Enter the Book Giveaway: Subscribe to Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents Blog & comment “subscribed” below this post. BONUS ENTRY: Review Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents on Apple Podcasts, then comment “reviewed” below this post. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Share anywhere. Comment “shared” below this post for another BONUS ENTRY! We will choose a WINNER by March 16. Timestamps:00:00 Understanding the Brain's Default to Self-Blame00:35 Introduction to Atypical Kids Mindful Parents Podcast01:18 Meet Dr. Matt: Expert in Neurodiversity02:12 Challenges of Parenting Neurodivergent Children05:49 The Importance of Community and Support08:24 Curiosity Over Fury: A Parenting Strategy12:19 The Role of Mindfulness in Parenting19:52 Giftedness and Neurodiversity: Definitions and Misconceptions24:59 The Pressure of Perfectionism25:38 Gifted Kids and Society's Expectations26:05 A Personal Story of Burnout and Happiness27:19 Introducing the Book: Theory and Practice28:22 Understanding Neurodivergence29:40 The Flash and Neurodivergent Kids33:17 Helping a Dad Connect with His Son39:05 Core Values and Parenting41:36 Sensory Needs and Authentic Parenting42:50 Conclusion
Listen in on an intimate conversation between myself and one of my beloved private parent coaching clients. She's building confidence and compassion while raising her neurodivergent kid. Learn how self-compassion plays a crucial role in mindful parenting. Building Confidence in Parenting: Strategies and Support for Neurodiverse Families Discover: -the power of a judgment-free coaching relationship. -the simplicity of self-regulation techniques. -the value of connecting deeply with your child. Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids podcast helps parents feel less alone. Kate interviews parents and experts who share her mission to co-create a more inclusive future. Join us in this insightful interview where we're discussing parenting with compassion, empathy, and boundary-setting. This episode delves into my client's goals, including safety, mindful spending, balancing screen time, fostering open communication, and developing self-compassion as a parent. Read the full transcript, listen to the podcast, watch the video, and subscribe to the blog for more connection and support at Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents Blog: https://katelynch.substack.com/ Witness the transformation and growth in a parent-child bond through practical exercises and mutual understanding. 00:00 Introduction to Mindful Parenting 00:55 Starting the Coaching Journey 02:02 Setting Boundaries and Expectations 02:58 Self-Regulation and Empathy 04:55 Screen Time and Activities 09:58 Building Confidence and Self-Compassion 11:42 Collaborative Problem Solving 12:18 Celebrating Wins and Bonding 13:25 Final Reflections and Gratitude Explore the 3 ways I offer coaching: Private Parent Coaching Package of 6 Sessions $445. Founding Supporter 1-1 Voxer Coaching 3 months $150. Community Monthly Mindful Parent Coaching for all paid Substack subscribers, starting at $5/month.
How to Balance Support and Independence in Neurodivergent Teens Raising neurodivergent teens requires us to walk the razor's edge between offering support and encouraging independence... ...it's a balance that can sometimes feel elusive. I'm Kate Lynch, and the other day I discussed this with Dr. Emily W. King, a child psychologist with a wealth of experience working with neurodivergent kids. Before she became a parent, Dr. Emily was a licensed psychologist. Despite all her academic knowledge and training, having her own kids and working with her clients provided the real education. Nothing prepares you for the emotional experience of parenting. Knowledge helps, but understanding how our brains and bodies work together—in vastly different ways—comes from lived experience. As Dr. Emily put it, “Lived experience is just as valuable as any letters we have behind our name.” Every child is different, and each family figures out what work best for them. For instance, my son is now comfortable taking the subway to school, although that journey had its challenges. He has navigated train disruptions, struggled with confusion, and yet persisted, growing more independent over time. Dr. Emily noted that our kids are on their own timelines, and traditional age-based developmental milestones don't apply to neurodivergent kids. Trusting the process, allowing for those inevitable challenges, and seeing them as growth opportunities are critical. Understanding and accepting this can alleviate some parental anxiety. Sometimes, teens might feel they no longer need certain therapies, even when their parents think otherwise. Emily suggested a collaborative approach: understanding the child's perspective, discussing their goals, and finding compromises that respect their feelings while ensuring they get the support they need. One particularly touching moment Dr. Emily recalled was when her son unexpectedly grabbed her hand in a crowd, a simple yet profound reminder that there's a last time for everything—we just don't know when it will be. By sharing experiences and learning from each other, we can help our neurodivergent kids feel safe, understood, and empowered to grow. Join the Movement! Come Together to Create a More Inclusive World for Our Kids, One Parent at a Time... If you're anything like other parents I talk to, you're seeking 3 things: Connection with other parents who get it. Support, empathy and guidance through the rough spots. Resources to help your children. I'm committed to providing all three for you here at Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents! Get access to monthly Mindful Parent Community Coaching by subscribing at any paid tier. Starts at only $5 a month! +PLUS: “Founding Supporter” tier members will have access to 3 months of my 1-1 asynchronous parent coaching pilot program! "Kate did a great job creating a safe space and bringing relevant topics to the group." https://katelynch.substack.com/p/back-to-school-support-special
When you're suffering and searching for self-compassion, you may be thinking, "But I'm already feeling so vulnerable! I can't take it. I need to numb out. This is too much!!!" Right over that hill you can't quite see beyond, self-compassion is waiting for you. The other day during a vulnerability hangover, I recorded an especially helpful audio meditation for the Compassion Club Private Podcast. I'd like to share it with my community here because I appreciate you! It's going to be especially helpful for those of you who are ready to tread the transformative path from all-out resistance and overwhelm, through vulnerability, to self-compassion. Listen now | 20 Min Meditation: Self-compassion for the days you have a vulnerability hangover. I share a bit of my personal process in this meditation to show an example of being in the mess and befriending my protective parts. Learn the 5 steps so you can apply them to your next moment of suffering. Remember, you're not alone. Links: Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents Blog Compassion Club Private Podcast
How to Find Peace in the Mess of Parenting Neurodivergent Kids Join us as my guest Kathryn Barbash, PsyD, a mom of four and a clinical psychologist, shares her experiences and strategies for parenting neurodivergent children. Kathryn discusses the importance of flexibility, the pitfalls of striving for perfection, and the concept of resilience. Hear her personal stories, including the hilariously chaotic 'flour fiasco,' and gain insights on how to manage morning routines and emotional outbursts with kindness, creativity, and self-compassion. This episode is a rich resource for parents seeking support, connection, and practical advice for their unique parenting experiences. 00:00 Morning Struggles and Parenting Challenges 00:43 Introduction to Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids 01:18 Meet Kathryn Barbash: Psychologist and Mom 03:33 The Flour Fiasco: Embracing Parenting Messes 08:00 The Second Arrow: Understanding and Managing Parental Guilt 16:46 Morning Routines: Tips and Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids 22:11 Collaborative Parenting: Working with Your Kids 26:21 Core Values and Joyful Parenting Moments 29:11 Conclusion and Where to Learn More Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids podcast helps parents feel less alone. Kate interviews parents and experts who share her mission to co-create a more inclusive future. Our podcast is a baby, and it needs your love to grow. If you appreciate the strategies, connection, and support here, please help it reach other parents by leaving us a review. Read the transcript, listen to the podcast, watch the video, and subscribe to the blog for more connection and support at Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents Blog: https://katelynch.substack.com/ Connect with Kathryn - Links: https://open.substack.com/pub/mindfulinthemud/p/flour-fiasco-i-am-not-a-calm-mom https://mindfulinthemud.substack.com https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmominthemud/
As we approach Father's Day, I had the privilege of recording a special podcast episode with my husband, John Andrejack. This is a message of hope! John is not just the father of our amazing atypical child, Ocean, but also an educator and a Parkinson's Disease advocate. This episode delves into parenting, coping with chronic illness, and the beauty of seeing our children thrive despite obstacles. 00:29 Meet John Andrejack: Educator and Parkinson's Advocate 01:15 John's Journey with Young Onset Parkinson's Disease 02:23 Parenting Challenges and Philosophies 05:10 Memorable Parenting Moments 06:13 A Walk on Water: Surf Therapy for Ocean 10:35 Parenting Mistakes and Lessons Learned 13:52 Core Values and Reflections on Fatherhood 18:08 Final Thoughts and Father's Day Wishes --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/oceansmama/message
What questions do you have for a teen money expert who wants to help us teach our neurodivergent kids how to manage money? Amanda L. Grossman isn't just an award-winning money expert with a passion for helping neurodivergent kids manage their finances. She's walking alongside us, raising her own neurodivergent kid. In this episode, she shares a "wealth" of expert financial literacy advice for neurodivergent kids. As a parent of a neurodivergent child, Amanda understands the challenges and stresses that come with parenting our kids. She's the founder of Money Prodigy, a platform that empowers children and teens to achieve financial independence. Featured on prominent sites such as Experian, Rockstar Finance, and Colonial Life, Amanda is on a mission to ensure every child grows up with the skills to manage their money confidently. We discuss the importance of sharing our personal money stories—warts and all—to make financial conversations less intimidating and more relatable for our children. We'll explore the pros and cons of allowances, paid chores, and the general responsibilities kids can take on within a family setting. Amanda has fantastic tips on using visual supports and categorizing chores to help our kids understand these concepts better. I do my best to answer her questions, and you can too: When you think of teaching your child (kid or teen) about money, what do you think about doing? What access to money does your child have? Is it consistent, or not consistent? What does your child do with money in their lives? What do you secretly get scared about when it comes to your child and money (the kind of thing that you tend to just "bury your head in the sand" about, or get anxious about at 3:00 in the morning)?” We'll also discuss the delicate balance of allowing children the freedom to make their own spending decisions while setting boundaries and responsibilities to guide them. At the end I'll guide you through an abundant breath to release any anxiety that may arise. This episode will instill parents with confidence around teaching kids about money. Even if you never received a money education from your own parents, and maybe your finances aren't so great. You are perfectly suited for teaching your kids how to manage their money. So, get ready to rethink how you approach financial education at home. And don't forget—if you find value in today's episode, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps other parents discover this resource and join our mindful parenting community. Read the full transcript, listen to the podcast, watch the video, and subscribe to the blog for more connection and support at Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents Blog: https://katelynch.substack.com/ Connect with Amanda: https://www.moneyprodigy.com Amanda's gifts for listeners: DIY Money Summer Camp Calendar - Teens: https://moneyprodigy.ck.page/7b35b2f59f DIY Money Summer Camp Calendar - Kids: https://moneyprodigy.ck.page/cae5bf906f --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/oceansmama/message
How We Can Help Our Kids and Ourselves Feel Safer Today What have you heard about Polyvagal Theory? I love sharing about how it informs my parenting. We're parents of neurodivergent kids. Of course we need nervous system regulation skills. I'm so glad Matthew Sloane from Fatherhood Dojo invited me to talk with him about one of my favorite topics! In this conversation, Matt and I get personal, sharing stories of our own struggles with managing our fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses. I offer tips to honor those survival instincts, including simple practices you can do in less than a minute. You'll gain practical techniques and transformative insights. Together, without judgment, we'll climb the ladder of managing fear, starting with small steps. Understanding why we're feeling overwhelmed or burnt out is helpful, but it's not enough. I'll offer you hands-on strategies to find your calm before engaging with your kids… …IF calm is what's called for in the moment. We examine the internalized judgment that can infiltrate our parenting, and the importance of self-awareness and self-compassion. Listen to the podcast, watch the video, or read the transcript at https://katelynch.substack.com/p/helping-our-kids-feel-safer-polyvagal-theory and leave a comment on the blog. But it's not all about the challenges - we also celebrate the moments of connection and beautiful memories that come with the territory of parenting. We underscore how Polyvagal Theory can help us differentiate emergencies from opportunities for growth for both us and our neurodivergent (or neurotypical) children. It's a reminder to all parents that, in the space between stimulus and response, there's room for growth and connection. Thanks to Matt Sloane of fatherhooddojo.com for sharing the interview so that I could make it available to you here. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/oceansmama/message
How to find strength and acceptance in inclusive parenting with Sonali Vongchusiri. A mindful exploration of belonging versus fitting in, and combating internalized ableism. Sonali is a highly-sensitive mom with three deeply-feeling and strong-willed kids. She also happens to be legally blind and have albinism. With her heartwarming stories and profound revelations, Sonali teaches us that you don't have to fit in to truly belong. In this episode, we'll discuss the beauty of embracing one's true self, and the power of labels in accessing support and understanding. Sonali shares her journey of accepting her visual impairment, and transforming her internal struggle with albinism into strength. The compassionate way she and her children embrace their differences fosters a family dynamic rich in confidence, humor, and sensitivity to individual needs. By the end of the episode, you'll be able to answer these 3 questions: 1. How has Sonali's journey of embracing her albinism and visual impairment influenced the way she parents and advocates for her neurodivergent children? 2. How can parents balance the need to tell their children about their disability without inducing feelings of being an outsider or internalized ableism? 3. What are some strategies to create an environment of belonging for atypical kids, both within the family and in wider social settings? With her heartwarming stories and profound revelations, Sonali teaches us that you don't have to fit in to truly belong. Read the full transcript, listen to the podcast, watch the video, and subscribe to the blog for more connection and support at Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents Blog: https://katelynch.substack.com/ Connect with Sonali and Forward Together Parenting: Forward Together Parenting Raising Your Strong Willed Child Facebook Group Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids podcast helps parents feel less alone. Kate interviews parents and experts who share her mission to co-create a more inclusive future. Our podcast is a baby, and it needs your love to grow! If you appreciate the strategies, connection, and support here, help it reach other parents! Please give it a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/oceansmama/message
Why Curiosity Helps You SHINE as a Parent of Neurodiverse Kids I had the pleasure of interviewing Valerie Arbeau, an inspiring life and health coach, and a resilient mom navigating the challenging yet rewarding journey of raising neurodiverse children. The result is a moving podcast episode full of twists and turns, as we follow her 21-year parenting story. Valerie introduces us to the "SHINE Principle" that has guided her through the tumultuous parenting of her two neurodiverse children with grace and strength. From navigating her child's non-binary identity to pioneering ways for her non-verbal daughter to communicate, Valerie's story is a testament to the power of acceptance, support, and unwavering love. Valerie advocates for attentive parenting, learning to tune in to the diverse ways her children convey their needs, a skill she humbly admits wasn't always second nature. We discuss how to overcome parental burnout. I asked Valerie about communication devices, low demand parenting, pathological demand avoidance, autism, adhd, cerebral palsy, and more. The practical suggestions in her book, “The SHINE Principle," along with the relatable stories, will motivate you to care for yourself, which will positively impact your whole neurodiverse family. https://amzn.to/3VeMWKj As an amazon associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Join us as we embrace the curiosity, compassion, and understanding that helps us SHINE as parents of neurodiverse kids. Coaching With Valerie Anne https://bit.ly/3RL0da2 Read the transcript, watch the full youtube video, and subscribe for more connection and support: Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents Blog: https://katelynch.substack.com/ Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids podcast helps parents feel less alone. Kate interviews parents and experts who share her mission to co-create a more inclusive future. Our podcast is a baby, and it needs your love to grow! If you appreciate the strategies, connection, and support here, help it reach other parents! Please go to Apple Podcasts and give it a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/oceansmama/message
Rebekah Lara has 3 daughters with multiple health challenges. Her story of resilience shows how pursuing our own interests can liberate our whole family. Rebekah joined me to talk about time freedom and the importance of pursuing our own interests as parents. Her story is one of resilience, wisdom, and hope that's going to resonate with so many of you. We discuss the transformative power of setting boundaries, the grace found in accepting help, and the unequivocal importance of self-care. With 3 neurodivergent daughters, her life changed course when faced with the significant health challenges of her eldest daughter, a survivor of acute liver failure and subsequent multiple organ failure. Despite the overwhelming circumstances, Rebekah navigated this complex journey with calm determination. As she marks the sixth year since her life took this unexpected turn, her personal struggle turned into her mission—aiming to support other parents navigating similar paths. Rebekah's experience is not just a tale of survival but a testament to her dedication to bring understanding, freedom, and hope to families like hers. https://www.facebook.com/groups/simplebusinesssystems https://www.instagram.com/the.rebekah.lara/ At the intersection of mindful parenting and neurodiversity, Atypical Kids Mindful Parents Blog is for parents of neurodivergent kids who want to feel more connected, calm and present. With community and support, we will feel less isolated and more empowered to positively impact our neurodiverse families. Through self-compassion and mindfulness, we can transform our relationships, and co-create a more inclusive world! Kate Lynch, a highly sensitive parent of an amazing kid with autism and ADHD, supports parents at the intersection of mindful parenting and neurodiversity with calming, grounding practices and relatable parenting stories. Grab your Mindful Meltdown Cheatsheet here: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/meltdown Read the transcript, watch the full youtube video, and subscribe for more connection and support: Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents Blog: https://katelynch.substack.com/ Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids podcast helps parents feel less alone. Kate interviews parents and experts who share her mission to co-create a more inclusive future. Our podcast is a baby, and it needs your love to grow! If you appreciate the strategies, connection, and support here, help it reach other parents! Please go to Apple Podcasts and give it a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/oceansmama/message
“Why do you never put your shoes away?” and other questions that aren't helping. Do you recognize any of these? “We need to do it this way!” “Why can't you follow my system?” “Why do you never put your shoes away?” “Why do you always leave your stuff everywhere?” “A lot of times it's because we have these different organizing styles.” -Audrey Berry You may have beliefs about how things should be organized in your home, but those ideas aren't helping your kids get out the door in the morning. This podcast will help you organize your home to make it easier for your whole neurodiverse family to navigate. Audrey is an expert in organizing spaces for people with ADHD and has a wealth of knowledge on creating calm and organized homes for neurodiverse families. In this episode, Audrey will be sharing valuable insights on understanding different organizing styles, managing conflicts, and setting up systems that work for your family's unique needs. We'll dive into the concept of visual and non-visual organizing, macro and micro organizing, and how these preferences can impact our home environments. We'll also explore the challenges of morning routines and getting out the door, as well as discuss practical tips for creating functional spaces that support our children's independence. So, get ready to discover a new perspective on organization and find empowerment in creating a calm and organized home for your neurodiverse family. Audrey has a FREE gift for you as a listener of the Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Podcast: Your Signature Organizing Style Workbook: Stop blindly following systems that don't work for your family. Discover the 4 different organizing styles so you can work WITH your strengths to create lifelong organization in your home. Set up a functional home that supports your kids' activities of daily living (ADL), life skills, and routines. https://www.subscribepage.com/signature_organizing_style_podcast Audrey's website and facebook page: https://justanorganizedhome.com https://www.facebook.com/groups/justanorganizedhome https://katelynch.substack.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/oceansmama/message
An interview with a parent of grown children about her journey from isolated to empowered, and how you can support others too. Audrey Berry is a parent who can relate to the challenges of raising a child with neurodivergence and disabilities. Although she doesn't have a formal diagnosis herself, Audrey acknowledges the difficulties and frustrations that come with navigating life when things don't seem to work as smoothly as they do for others. She describes it as constantly paddling upstream in a rapid current while others effortlessly float along down a lazy river. Audrey understands firsthand what it's like to be in the trenches, advocating for and supporting her child. Audrey shares her personal experiences and the struggles she has faced in a system that often feels broken. She discusses the feelings of being left behind as a parent, watching other children reach milestones while her own child faces different challenges. Audrey emphasizes the importance of finding support and connecting with other parents who truly understand. As a parent of grown children now, she offers words of encouragement and reminds us of the power in being a listening ear and a source of support for those who are just starting their journey. Stay tuned as we delve into a heartfelt conversation about the realities of parenting atypical kids and the vital role of mindful parents like us in helping each other along the way. Sharing our vulnerabilities and honest experiences is crucial. It helps others move out of isolation and find solace in knowing they're not alone. Audrey's reminder to share our own stories and encourage one another touched me. Let's lift each other up!
What I love most about Extreme Kids is the emotional space we are given to be ourselves. This is a story I recently shared on my Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents Blog, in 3 parts: 1. How My Neurodiverse Family Found a Space Where We Could Be Ourselves 2. Why a "Perfectly Fine" Coat Can Be Torture if You Have Sensory Aversions 3. A Safe Space for Every Kid to Play Freely Without Judgment or Stares We hear the glee and upset in dozens of voices, the trampoline squeaking and the ball pit rustling. We see primary colors, swinging swings, and bouncing children. A random soft ball glances off us as we play. We spin on a tire hanging from the ceiling. We land on giant beanbags. Crawl through tunnels. Spin in, pop out of, or hide inside multi-colored foam barrels. Somehow we aren't overwhelmed, overstimulated, or overtired. For us it's an indoor paradise. But the physical space is not what I love most. It's the emotional space we are given to be ourselves. It is also what is absent: dirty looks, unwanted advice, and misunderstanding... Now, I know it's a trusting relationship that matters. The kind of acceptance we learned at Extreme Kids. I can't know who we would be as a family without this community, because we were lucky enough to grow up within it. I do know how lonely I felt before I found it. Who cares if Ocean wears elastic waist pants to his own wedding? I just want him to love and be loved. Now, I believe that it will happen. A version of this story was first published at MUTHA Magazine. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/oceansmama/message
Here's how I rewrite the list my inner critic has been writing all night long, and turn inward with compassion. If today is triggering for you, I hear you, I see you, and you are not alone. The weight our culture gives to Mother's Day is a symptom. An unequal burden is placed on the shoulders of individual parents: the implicit and explicit pressure for the day, much less the children's lives to be perfect. We will crack under that pressure. Am I on the right path? Am I taking care of this body well enough? This mind? This home? Am I a good enough teacher? Partner? Citizen of the world? Yoga practitioner? Friend? I know am not the only parent cracking open. I wake up most mornings overflowing with doubts. But most of all, I doubt my mothering. Meditation teacher Tara Brach often shares the image of a solid gold Buddha covered over with layers of clay. After centuries, no one knew about the gold until the statue was moved, and accidentally dropped. The cracks revealed the hidden gold shining through. I look for the gold by peering into the cracks in my own wounded psyche. I'm parenting my inner child with compassion. I need to tap into that young, hurt part of me because that's where I find the light of compassion. I could tell myself I'm not her anymore. I've grown up. That is true and not true. She is still here. She was broken, and she needs the grown up me to help her heal. As I reach toward her with tenderness, she teaches me about more than my own suffering. The wound is where the light enters, AND the motherhood myth is crushing, AND cultural inequity is responsible. I wake every morning and am confronted with my programming, which is telling me I have failed and I need to do more in order to be worthy. My self-compassion practice reminds me: Self-compassion and mindfulness have helped me become a more loving and authentic friend, partner, teacher, citizen, and parent. I know I am not the only parent cracking open, but when I wake up to the list my inner critic has been writing all night long, it feels lonely. I can hold the big feelings of others because I have held my own. It only feels heavy because it is pure gold. I think of other parents like me, and I'm comforted by Leonard Cohen's line: “Forget your perfect offering. There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.” -From 'Anthem' by Leonard Cohen “Do less. You are enough. You are love.”
Trouble with tech-related mental health issues and struggles with getting off screens? Learn a self-regulation strategy that will help you through the eggshell moments, then once you're calm, rethink your family's screen health. When we help our child make informed choices about their screen life, and balance it with activities that we know support well-being, we will change their very experience of childhood, and that impacts their long term social, emotional and cognitive development. You can register for FREE here. The summit runs May 15 - 19. Register before your kid distracts you I've noticed that our whole family is more distracted and irritable when we've been on our screens for more than a few hours a day… which is usually the case. I am really looking forward to learning from the best experts in the upcoming Screen Time & Mental Health Summit. My hope is that the info will help our family reset our screen time and enjoy each other's company again. Parenting in this screen-addicted culture is hard, and we need any help we can get. The great news is that we can learn what we can do to protect our kids from these risks. Expert insights, tools and strategies will be shared in the Screen Time & Mental Health Summit! It's completely free to attend the summit and it starts Monday, May 15th. Here's the topic for each day:
We asked parents about their struggles, and what question they wanted to ask us about parenting. Amy Weber and I are planning our next coaching group for parents of neurodivergent kids, and we want your input! The questionnaire will only take a minute or two, and we will reach out personally to answer your questions! Hear my conversation with Amy Weber, LCSW, as we answer some fantastic questions from parents! Kate: We are answering questions for the wonderful people who filled out our parent survey, and if you fill out the parent survey this week, we will come back and answer your questions too! Amy: Thank you to the people who did fill out the survey. Kate: Yeah. So we're just gonna go in the order that we received them. It's totally anonymous. If this applies to you, good. It might. A lot of these apply to me. If you haven't submitted a question yet, the survey is here we'd love to hear from you: https://forms.gle/eye1Ux6CVnSZqgTAA Hi, I'm Kate! I'm a yoga teacher and mindful parenting coach who helps highly sensitive parents self-regulate so they can enjoy parenting their atypical kids. Connect with me at https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/ or https://www.instagram.com/healthyhappyyoga/, --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
"My mission is to expand access to aquatics for neurodivergent individuals." -Nina Sporn Nina Sporn teaches swimming and tennis to children and young adults, particularly neurodivergent individuals and children with emotional sensitivities that make athletics challenging. She wants to make sure that people stay safe by learning basic swimming skills, and to consider swimming as a great way to be physically fit. Nina encourages kids to develop confidence through swimming and athletics. "All children are great at something...building a child's self-esteem and self-worth is crucial." "I have had students who overcame incredible fear of the water and significant sensory issues, who have found the courage to ultimately 'let go' and swim freely. It brings me joy every time!" -Nina Sporn Some of the benefits of swimming: Self esteem Safety Strength Stamina Gross motor mastery Overcome fears Sensory soothing Outlet for anxiety Great exercise Fun with friends Contact with other children Nina sees the opportunities for physical activity for atypical kids as woefully inadequate. "Neurodivergent kids can gain confidence and fitness through sports, and swimming is about the best skill one can have (safety, strength, stamina, contact with other children, and can be an outlet for anxiety). Since Covid, program capacity has dwindled. My mission is to expand access to aquatics for neurodivergent individuals." Running interference: How to help your kid get to the end zone in their own way, so they feel successful, empowered and accomplished. 5 Water Safety Basics: Floating Breath control Blow bubbles Get to safety Push off the bottom My riptide story: Why we position ourselves near lifeguards. A little fear of the ocean is a good thing. Drowning is a very quiet thing. We lose skills when we can't practice regularly. Nothing takes the place of a parent's attention. No one watches your child like you. Spend time with your kids in the water. Make it fun. Belly Button Blowhole Breathing Therapeutic benefits of silliness, especially after a micro trauma. Nina's last word: "Have fun and wear sunscreen!" Connect with Nina: nsporn@nyc.rr.com Your comments, ratings and reviews mean a lot to me, and help other parents find our community. Connect with Kate Lynch: Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Website: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/mindfully-parenting-atypical-kids YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz4pioYjeRIsY_7Gs8ZXKGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthyhappyyoga/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
Parents, do you really need another condescending person telling you that you should be practicing self-care? I mean, it's just another thing on the list when we're already so tired and stressed and frustrated. Right? That's why I prefer the term self-respect, or self-honoring. Those don't take extra time or require us to do anything at all. It's a mindset. A mindset we can model for our kids. Let's dispel a few myths: 1. Self-care is self-improvement. Self-care doesn't need to be earned, and it isn't about changing you. Authentic self-care supports your inherent goodness. 2. Self-care is self-indulgence. There's nothing wrong with numbing out, but if you feel regretful afterwards, that's not self-care. When we avoid our stress, it will still be there to deal with later. 3. Self-care is specific things on a list written by someone other than you. You get to define what self care is for you. Authentic self-care nourishes, energizes and grounds you by working on the root issue: the unnecessary backlog of tension in your body. I don't want to go around holding on to all of the stress that has built up over the years of advocating for my neurodivergent kid, navigating a world that dehumanizes them, and being expected to figure it out on my own as an unpaid second or third job. Of COURSE we don't have time for spa days! The thing is, our kids are learning emotional regulation by watching us. Self-regulation can't be taught, it has to be modeled. Authentic self-care doesn't use up your time or energy, it frees up your energy by giving you more awareness of what is and isn't serving you. If a self regulation practice isn't useful in 30 seconds, stop doing it. Try something else. When we are more regulated, we will not only be there for our kids, we will be present for ourselves. We're breaking cycles to co-create a more inclusive future. Thank you for going on this journey with me. Your comments, ratings and reviews mean a lot to me, and help other parents find our community. Connect with Kate Lynch: Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Website: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/mindfully-parenting-atypical-kids YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz4pioYjeRIsY_7Gs8ZXKGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthyhappyyoga/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
In which Ocean makes a surprise appearance to eat chips and talk about his expectations for summer. In which I recap and reinforce the tips and practices we've covered to help you sail through summer with your neurodiverse family. In which I throw a curveball, by telling a story about plans gone awry. How My Family Is Prepping for a Summer Filled With Fun and Relaxation: Call a casual family meeting. Grab some paper. Get curious. 1. Ask everyone, "How do we want to FEEL this summer?" Write everything down. 2. Ask everyone, "How are we going to make these feelings happen?" Write everything down. 3. Make everyone's dreams come true. There are creative ways to do this! 4. Make it visible by posting a summer calendar. Here's the blog post which goes into more detail: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/blog/plan-your-familys-summer-for-maximum-cooperation-fun This helps us relax during summer, because we have more clarity on what we can expect. There are times those plans will have to change, but preparation actually helps us ride those unexpected waves too. Brené Brown's new book Atlas of the Heart mentions "stealth expectations" which is when you have wants and needs but you don't communicate them with anyone. That's what we want to avoid with this process. Although Ocean was clear that he doesn't want sponsorship from A Walk On Water, I like to share our favorite resources for families of disabled kids. Here's their website: https://awalkonwater.org/ Connect with Kate Lynch: Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Website: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/mindfully-parenting-atypical-kids YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz4pioYjeRIsY_7Gs8ZXKGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthyhappyyoga/ Summer Prep For Maximum Chill! A workshop for parents of intense atypical kids who are ready to learn how to guide their family towards a fun and relaxing summer plan. Rescheduled: With Kate Lynch, June 15. Sign up now: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/summer --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
Some Kids Come With Operating Instructions Michelle Neuringer, a fellow parent, wrote to me recently: "I'd like to get your thoughts on some struggles I'm having finding inclusive enrichment programs for my daughter (eg afterschool, camp). I think there's a big opportunity to educate these enrichment providers on how to work with neurodivergent kiddos." Michelle wants to introduce her autistic 7 year old to a range of experiences aligned with her special interests. Here in NYC, there's so much available, but in her experience the providers don't know how to work with our kids. Why do they freak out when we mention a diagnosis? How can we help them be more inclusive? What can we do as parents to support and educate enrichment providers on our kids? So, we talked and came up with some ideas as a starting point: Start with things that light your kid up - their special interests. Communicate with the directors, but also the counselors who will actually be caring for your kid day to day. Share your expertise on your kid, beginning with their strengths and interests. Preview, plan and prime with your child before the program begins. Here are some metrics Michelle envisions enrichment programs being adapted to be more inclusive: Kind of activity. Size of group. Parent involvement. Space, sensory environment, breaks. Meaningful inclusion: Kids co-create the curriculum, have a voice. Michelle says, "I want listeners to join me in changing the world for our kids, so they can grow up in a world where they can take up space, be themselves and not be beholden to neurotypical goals and milestones." Michelle Neuringer is mom to two amazing kids that have different ways of being in the world. She has also spent over 20 years designing & building technology products that help small businesses do what they love. She learned early in her career that to craft solutions that work, you must first discover and deeply understand who you're serving, their needs, aspirations and motivations. Michelle has translated this mindset to her autistic daughter's educational and therapeutic journey, learning and discovering alongside teachers and therapists. https://www.michelleneuringer.com/neurodiversity LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelleneuringer/ Parent Like You video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVCGvHT46aU 2 sides of the spectrum podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/65LkxLStaU6VHQDH5cg4Z9?si=326a306b57a34c01 Summer Prep For Maximum Chill! A workshop for parents of intense atypical kids who are ready to learn how to guide their family towards a fun and relaxing summer plan. With Kate Lynch RYT & Amy Weber LCSW, June 1 or 2. Sign up now: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/summer Connect with Kate Lynch: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/mindfully-parenting-atypical-kids https://www.instagram.com/healthyhappyyoga/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
Are you feeling overwhelmed, parenting your neurodivergent kids during these stressful times? Yeah, me too. Welcome to Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Podcast! For Season 2, we're talking about Summer Prep For Maximum Chill! Listen (or watch video podcasts) for support and strategies to co-create a fun, relaxed summer with your unique family. Season 2 Episode 3 of the Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Podcast is all about planning for day camp success with your neurodivergent kid! I'm joined by Amy Weber, LCSW, to talk about practical steps you can take to sail through summer with less stress. Amy has been running a day camp for intense kids for 9 years through her interdisciplinary pediatric therapy practice in Brooklyn, New York: Speak, Learn, & Play. Amy sees children for individual and group therapy sessions, and helps parents through parent coaching. She is the author of the new book for kids, Gratitude is your Super Power! Amy runs a camp for neurodivergent children every summer, so she has a unique perspective on the summer challenges of neurodiverse families. Amy also sees children for individual and group therapy sessions, and helps parents through Peaceful Parent Coaching. https://speaklearnandplay.com/ https://peacefulparentcoaching.com/ Here are a few tips we covered: 1. Know your kid. Do they have trouble with transitions? 2. Talk with camp directors. 3. Create a cheat-sheet on your kid. Share your expertise with counselors. Partial disclosure for advocacy. Here's a video of Dr. Stephen Shore explaining his 3-step process: https://youtu.be/TVSiJtLpMeo?t=327 -Recognize a challenge -Disclose the specific need -Ask for an accommodation Summer Prep For Maximum Chill! A workshop for parents of intense atypical kids who are ready to learn how to guide their family towards a fun and relaxing summer plan. With Kate Lynch RYT & Amy Weber LCSW, June 1 or 2. Sign up now: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/summer Connect with Kate Lynch: Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Website: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/mindfully-parenting-atypical-kids Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthyhappyyoga/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
How Your Neurodivergent Family Can Prep for a Summer Filled With Fun and Relaxation Episode 2: Summer Prep For Maximum Chill! With Amy Weber, LCSW Listen (or watch video podcasts) for support and strategies to co-create a fun, relaxed summer with your unique family. How My Family Is Prepping for a Summer Filled With Fun and Relaxation: Call a family meeting. Grab some paper. Get curious. 1. Ask everyone, "How do we want to FEEL this summer?" Write everything down. 2. Ask everyone, "How are we going to make these feelings happen?" Write everything down. 3. Make everyone's dreams come true. There are creative ways to do this! 4. Make it visible by posting a summer calendar. I mentioned the book Burnout: https://www.burnoutbook.net/ Amy Weber is the co-founder of Speak, Learn, & Play, an interdisciplinary pediatric therapy practice in Brooklyn, New York. She's a clinical social worker, specializing in work with children and their families. Amy sees children for individual and group therapy sessions, and helps parents through Peaceful Parent Coaching. https://speaklearnandplay.com/ https://peacefulparentcoaching.com/ Connect with Kate Lynch: Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Website: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/mindfully-parenting-atypical-kids YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz4pioYjeRIsY_7Gs8ZXKGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthyhappyyoga/ Summer Prep For Maximum Chill! A workshop for parents of intense atypical kids who are ready to learn how to guide their family towards a fun and relaxing summer plan. Rescheduled: With Kate Lynch, June 15. Sign up now: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/summer --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
Welcome to Season 2 of Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids! We're Back Just in Time to Prep for Summer! Are you feeling overwhelmed, parenting your neurodivergent kids during these stressful times? Yeah, me too. Welcome to Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids, a neurodiversity-affirming parenting podcast where you'll find connection, strategies, and support for your journey. I can't wait to walk this path alongside you. For Season 2, we're talking about Summer Prep For Maximum Chill! Listen (or watch video podcasts) for support and strategies to co-create a fun, relaxed summer with your unique family. This is an intro to Season 2, with a bit about me and a teaser of what I'll be sharing with you this season. Connect with Kate Lynch: Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Website: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/mindfully-parenting-atypical-kids YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz4pioYjeRIsY_7Gs8ZXKGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthyhappyyoga/ Summer Prep For Maximum Chill! A workshop for parents of intense atypical kids who are ready to learn how to guide their family towards a fun and relaxing summer plan. With Kate Lynch RYT & Amy Weber LCSW, June 1 or 2. Sign up now: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/summer --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
How do you collect and ground yourself during a tense parenting moment? How will you survive the storm of your child's big emotions? Try a visualization, meditation or breath pattern and practice until it becomes part of you. Nichi's pug Millie gives her comfort when life is a challenge. Millie sat in on our chat on the Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Podcast. I know you will relate to Nichi when she asks, "How do I extract myself from my kids so I can ground myself? I need something quick that helps in the moment." My answer isn't earth shattering... Try a resource anchor, or emotional balance tool. Your anchor can be any visualization, meditation or breath pattern that you practice a lot until it becomes part of you. Then, you can reach for it to anchor you when the seas get stormy. Practice when you're alone, then in a calm time with your kids, then during the aftermath of a storm, and then finally during. It is not instantaneous. Give yourself permission to take time with this. You are the one you can most readily affect, so keep the focus on yourself. We also discussed systemic issues that parents are often made to believe we are responsible for. It can feel really lonely. You are not alone. I'm so happy Nichi agreed to share our chat with you. Her four-year-old made an adorable appearance at the end. Cherished Memory Meditation: Recall a time you felt held and seen by someone you trust. A time you felt supported, beloved and cherished in your wholeness for exactly who you are. Reach back as far into your past as you need to. Settle your body back into this memory. Recall the sensory impressions associated with that memory. Plant yourself or bathe yourself in the memory. Drink it in. Imagine filling up with the memory. Keep the same memory and practice it often to activate neural pathways. Remember, you are not alone. I'm not trying to fix anyone's parenting challenges, I have enough of my own. It can really help to know we're not alone. Others are dealing with the same issues and trying to be better parents any way they can. Find a way to connect with other parents. HERE is your invitation to the Summer Self-Care Club: https://withribbon.com/m/7226 Our podcast is young, and it needs your love to grow up strong and well adjusted! ;) If you benefit from the strategies, connection and support this podcast offers, and you want to ensure it reaches other parents walking alongside you on this path, please go to Apple Podcasts and give it a review. I would LOVE to hear from more parents. Leave a voice message to inspire a future episode! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
This is a simple practice for when you're feeling a bit down on yourself. Practice it when you feel okay, so it is readily available to you in moments of suffering. It is a breathing practice connected with affirmations. It is adapted from walking meditations by Thich Nhat Hanh. Think to yourself: "I am home" as you breathe in. "I have arrived" as you breathe out. "I am worthy" as you breathe in. "I belong here" as you breathe out. Finish with the Bodhisattva vow: "May whatever arises in my life awaken compassion." Kate Lynch is a meditation coach and inclusive yoga teacher. She specializes in using meditation, breath patterns, mindfulness, relaxation and gentle yoga to build resilience to anxiety. This is NOT medical advice! 5 Days to Calmer Kinder Parenting: Connection, Strategies and Support for Parents of Intense Kids Sign up now: https://healthy-happy-yoga.ck.page/calmer Our podcast is young, and it needs your love to grow up strong and well adjusted! If you benefit from the strategies, connection and support this podcast offers, and you want to ensure it reaches other parents walking alongside you on this path, please go to Apple Podcasts and give it a review. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
Talking Law Enforcement With Our Atypical Kids Edna is former NYPD and a superhero mama of kids with disabilities. I first met her when Ocean started kindergarten and I was so worried. She was one of the moms of older kids. She tucked me under her wing and shared warmth, reassurance, advice and empathy. You're going to LOVE her as much as I do. When I asked her to do this interview, she wholeheartedly accepted, saying "We need to be the example and the change." Edna talks about her experiences and shares practical advice on how to talk to your atypical kid about these issues. This is an essential conversation to have with your child if there is any chance they will be unable to be compliant under pressure, or they may be misunderstood or appear scary to law enforcement. Even if none of that is true, talk with them. You don't know every scenario they will find themselves in. No matter their race, we all need to talk about it. Yes, we need a new system. Until then, let's do what we can to keep all our kids safe. Here are a few basic tips from Edna, to start the conversation: Atypical kids & law enforcement: "You are not scary, but you might look scary to them because they don't know you. Don't worry about being in trouble. They are confused and we will sort it out when I get there. You may feel angry that they are treating you unfairly, but don't act angry because that may give them a reason to hurt you. I know you have done nothing wrong, and even if you have we will sort it out." Dos and Don'ts to keep yourself safe: Do keep your hands visible. Don't reach for anything at all. DO LISTEN and DO what they ask. DON'T RUN. Do be polite. Don't act angry or afraid, even if you are. Do ask them to call your mom, if you can do it respectfully. Don't worry about being in trouble. Focus on getting home safe. Law enforcement & a group: All of the above, plus… if your friend is being targeted: Do stay and watch. Don't leave. Do call your friend's parents if you can do so safely. Do record everything for your friend's safety if you can. Keep breathing!!! Our podcast is young, and it needs your love to grow up strong and well adjusted! If you benefit from the strategies, connection and support this podcast offers, and you want to ensure it reaches other parents walking alongside you on this path, please go to Apple Podcasts and give it a review. Leave me a voicemail if you would like to be on a future episode: --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
A Step-by-Step Guide To Help Parents Develop Self-Compassion Why you should turn towards your crappy feelings when all you want to do is numb out. 5 Self-Compassion Questions for Parents: 1. “Who in my life allows me to feel held?” 2. “What am I struggling with that no one would know by looking at me?” 3. “What am I trying not to feel?” 4. “Where do I feel it in my body?” 5. “What would I say to my close friend if they were feeling this way?” Finally, simply pause. Pause and receive the words and the internal sense of comfort. Stay present in the moment without doing anything. Trust that all will be well if you stop doing all the parenting things long enough to soak up some self-compassion. Video: https://youtu.be/5bjElEWBrhk Article: https://betterhumans.pub/a-step-by-step-guide-to-help-parents-develop-self-compassion-e3e1c00d1a9c?sk=bdd225fb4922f6c165ca4aeac74b9779 Our podcast is young, and it needs your love to grow up strong and well adjusted! If you benefit from the strategies, connection and support this podcast offers, and you want to ensure it reaches other parents walking alongside you on this path, please go to Apple Podcasts and give it a review. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
Do you feel overwhelmed because you don't know everything about helping your kid? Here's how I deal with that anxiety. There's So Much I Don't Know About My Atypical Kid ...and that's okay! What Yoga Says About What We Don't Know FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/mindfullyparentingatypicalkids Free 5 Day Challenge starts Monday April 19! Sign up here: https://healthy-happy-yoga.ck.page/calmer I'm excited to share a new feature on the podcast, to encourage connection and community: Voice messages! Leave me a voice message through the link and I'll answer the ones I can on a future podcast. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
This is now also an article in Better Humans Publication - How to Teach Atypical Family Yoga https://betterhumans.pub/how-to-teach-atypical-family-yoga-32bba77ed462?sk=d93d20ac300da1c5cd3efbbaba593fab Unconditional positive regard is the key to seeing kids shine! Non-judgment, self-regulation, and appreciation: these are essential in any yoga class. When teaching neurodiverse families (as I've done for 20 years), these qualities will make or break your class. Jess is a yoga teacher who was hired to teach family yoga to a group with autistic kids. She was feeling nervous about it, and reached out for best practices and suggestions. Below are the recommendations I gave her. These suggestions could also apply to doing yoga with your own family at home, or to any family yoga class. Modeling inclusivity benefits everyone. What neurodivergent kids and their parents crave the most: Unconditional positive regard. Some other tips I cover: “YES” space Let it go Accept Appreciate Priming Visual supports Special interests Sensory Sensitivities Community How I Structure Inclusive Family Yoga Classes: Sit in a circle — kids with parents on one mat or each on their own next to each other. Encourage everyone to participate at their level of ability, and do something centering, like a name song, a chant or an ice breaker. Let the kids shine! Keep it fun and be sweet. Keep relaxation time short. End with a simple song or chant. Have a blast! Maybe you will see that the kids or their parents are calmer after class. Maybe you will see them shine. You may never know the benefit your class has on the families who attend. That's okay, since inclusive family yoga isn't something you will do for the validation. It will be an extension of your yoga practice, and you will learn so much. FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/mindfullyparentingatypicalkids Free 5 Day Challenge starts Monday April 19! Sign up here: https://healthy-happy-yoga.ck.page/calmer I'm excited to share a new feature on the podcast, to encourage connection and community: Voice messages! Leave me a voice message through the link and I'll answer the ones I can on a future podcast. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
What is one thing you did this week that you're proud of? Meghan, a joyful, creative mom of differently wired twins, joins me in a passionate conversation about: -Why committing to SOMETHING every day helps. It trains us to make the time for ourselves every day. "It's easy to tell ourselves that other things are more important than us... You need this, even if it's 2 minutes. Once we have our differently wired kids, even if we did provide ourselves with more care before kids... I forgot how to do it. I forgot what it was. We do have to reprogram ourselves. Sometimes some of that is deprogramming." -Meghan Our kids deserve to have us at our best. If you've been putting yourself last, I feel you. I've been there. Start fresh today by asking yourself this question: What do I need in order to show up as my best self? “Moving my body somehow. I've trained myself to make sure that happens because it helps to me be a more present and grounded person.” -Meghan -Siblings: when to intervene, celebration, modeling, narrating, repair, boundaries. (Watch the unedited video in the FB group to see the cat fight!) -With our kids, modeling and narrating go hand in hand. “Before we ‘go over the cliff', how can we pause? It is hard as adults and it is certainly challenging to teach your child that… I'm trying to model it and I'm trying to talk about that… When I get mad I say “I'm sorry I yelled. I need to remember to pause and take a breath.” Even if I didn't do it right, I try and talk that out to them.” -Meghan -We had expectations of our kids being like us, because it is all we knew up until that time. We had to go through the stages of grief, which isn't a judgement on our kids. The 5 classic stages of grief, which aren't linear: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Links: My Boundaries Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mindfully-parenting-atypical-kids-podcast/id1530252372?i=1000495895524 Amber DeLa Garza Boundaries podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/productivity-straight-talk-time-management-productivity/id1239598006?i=1000498816079 FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/mindfullyparentingatypicalkids Free 5 Day Challenge now starts every Monday! Sign up here: https://healthy-happy-yoga.ck.page/calmer I'm excited to share a new feature on the podcast, to encourage connection and community: Voice messages! Leave me a voice message through the link and I'll answer the ones I can on a podcast (or in an article or video). If you don't want me to put your voice on the podcast, email or DM me instead. If you want to be anonymous, don't leave your name on the message, or ask me to cut that part out. Just know that I stay in my lane, so I won't answer medical questions, and I won't entertain talk of extreme interventions on children. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
We're all fried after this year. Isolation and burnout are real. Having a conversations with another parent who understands is one way you can prevent, or heal from, isolation and burnout. This is a very special episode because Ocean's best friend's mom, my sister from another mother, my partner in crime Andrea joins us today. We've seen each other through all the ups and downs of these past 10 years. I really don't know what I would have done without her. We talk about the very early days, the trouble with letting our kids be kids, and learning as we grow together. We talk about letting it all slide as this pandemic nears 11 months of kicking our bottoms. It gives me great comfort that when we are gone, our boys will have each other. Please enjoy this peek into an epic parent friendship. I'm excited to share a new feature on the podcast, to encourage connection and community: Voice messages! Leave me a voice message through the link (scroll all the way down) and I'll answer the ones I can on a podcast (or in an article or video). If you don't want me to put your voice on the podcast, email or DM me instead. If you want to be anonymous, don't leave your name on the message, or ask me to cut that part out. Scroll down for the voicemail link. Just know that I stay in my lane, so I won't answer medical questions, and I won't entertain talk of extreme interventions on children. Let's stick together. We really need each other right now, parents! I have found that having a small community of parents who understand is essential to my wellbeing. Join our Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/3229904633801703/?source_id=400903940032482 To be the first to know about everything we're up to, join Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids, and grab your Mindful Meltdown Cheatsheet here: https://healthy-happy-yoga.ck.page/meltdown --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
Some parents have been curious about the book I'm writing. The idea of the book is to balance my stories about parenting an atypical kid with the practices which help me get through the day. Here's a little of each from the time before we had Ocean - how we slowly built resilience and our fertility journey. The practice is simple, accessible and profound: Beginner's Mind. There will always be so much in life we can't control. This is a practice for that. I'm excited to share a new feature on the podcast, to encourage connection and community: Voice messages! Leave me a voice message through the link and I'll answer the ones I can on a podcast (or in an article or video). If you don't want me to put your voice on the podcast, email or DM me instead. If you want to be anonymous, don't leave your name on the message, or ask me to cut that part out. Just know that I stay in my lane, so I won't answer medical questions, and I won't entertain talk of extreme interventions on children. Let's stick together. We really need each other right now, parents! I have found that having a small community of parents who understand is essential to my wellbeing. Join our Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/3229904633801703/?source_id=400903940032482 To be the first to know about everything we're up to, join Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids, and grab your Mindful Meltdown Cheatsheet here: https://healthy-happy-yoga.ck.page/meltdown Send me a voicemail! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
Answering Parent Questions: 5 Things To Remember When Your Kid is Being Judged A parent I met (through the 5 day challenge) asked me some wonderful questions, and since I have been writing so much I decided to record my thoughts. I touch on early signs of differences in my son, a little about denial and diagnosis, what I do when people notice my kid's differences, and finally discuss creating inclusive culture for our kids. Educate Through Challenges, Celebrate Strengths: 5 Things I Try to Remember When My Kid is Standing Out -Some people will judge your parenting or your child, because they are ignorant. Don't take it personally. Your kid is doing his best and other people's judgment probably doesn't bother him. If it does, that shows great emotional maturity and awareness. You and your child are separate people. This isn't a reflection on you. -Wait. They get older. They won't be like this forever. We don't know who they will become. -Get out of the habit of isolation. Connect with other parents of atypical kids. Find someone to check in with. Push yourself to do this because it is really important. -Know how brave you are feeling today. Prioritize your emotional safety and don't put yourself in vulnerable situations when you're feeling down. -Look at your uncomfortable feelings and try to understand what is actually yours, and what is internalized from the culture or others. Remember the 80/20 rule: Help your child with his challenges 20% of the time and celebrate his strengths 80% of the time. I do like to ramble, so please help me focus in on what interests you most by getting in touch and asking your own questions. I'm excited to share a new feature on the podcast, to encourage connection and community: Voice messages! Leave me a voice message through the link (scroll all the way down) and I'll answer the ones I can on a podcast (or in an article or video). If you don't want me to put your voice on the podcast, email or DM me instead. If you want to be anonymous, don't leave your name on the message, or ask me to cut that part out. Just know that I stay in my lane, so I won't answer medical questions, and I won't entertain talk of extreme interventions on children. Let's stick together. We really need each other right now, parents! I have found that having a small community of parents who understand is essential to my wellbeing. Join our Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/3229904633801703/?source_id=400903940032482 To be the first to know about everything we're up to, join Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids, and grab your Mindful Meltdown Cheatsheet here: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/meltdown --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
Meet Meghan Awesome, Creative, Magic Making Parent. We had a great talk about the FREE 5 Days to Calmer Kinder Parenting. I love this quote from Meghan: "Community is really important. It's up to us to keep reaching out to each other for help and strength and understanding." Listen and reach out with your questions through my website or in to FB group: Join our Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/3229904633801703/?source_id=400903940032482 5 Days to Calmer Kinder Parenting will start on Monday and each day I'll share 5 minutes of strategies and support. In 5 days you will feel calmer, kinder and less isolated while parenting your atypical kid. Use the link in my bio to join the challenge! https://healthy-happy-yoga.ck.page/calmer --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
Parenting With Purpose: Your Atypical Kid's Amazing Future Prepare Your Atypical Kid's Amazing Future What is REALLY important in a meaningful life? All of our kids can learn. We need to figure out how they learn best. Often, it is a matter of timing and maturity. We can meet them where they're at. If you're short on time, look for the 25 minute version of this talk. This is the long version, with lots of examples from my life with Ocean. “All parenting turns on a crucial question: to what extent parents should accept their children for who they are, and to what extent they should help them become their best selves.” -Andrew Solomon, Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity This podcast is my answer to that question. We can set an example by caring for ourselves and others. By taking responsibility for our own happiness and our relationships. By being caring to ourselves first. We have an incredible opportunity to become more conscious, patient and happy than we ever expected. We have an opportunity to transform. As we do, we can have an impact on the future of our children. Envisioning that future, and taking steps towards it, can help us feel more hopeful and motivated on the parenting path. I'm so excited to tell you that I'm hosting a free challenge, 5 Days to Calmer Kinder Parenting, and I would love for you to join! Connection, strategies, and support for overwhelmed parents of atypical kids. We start January 11. Sign up now, before your kid distracts you! https://healthy-happy-yoga.ck.page/calmer Join me for a live workshop - Parenting with Purpose: Pathways to a Joyful Future for Your Atypical Kid. https://healthyhappyyogascheduling.as.me/Future A 2 Part Series Online via Zoom. Envisioning a joyful future, and then taking steps towards it, can help us feel more hopeful and motivated on the parenting path. Guided mindfulness meditation, visualization, journaling, homework to do with your family, and follow up support. To be the first to know about the Compassion Challenge for Parents, join Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids, and grab your Mindful Meltdown Cheatsheet here: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/meltdown --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
How To Stay Patient and Hold Boundaries When Your Atypical Kid is Home All. The. Time. Okay. I don't have solid answers, but Ocean and I have plenty of thoughts. I'll share some strategies which can help: Simple family meetings, patience promoting practices, and Amber De La Garza's 3 step framework for boundaries: Identify the boundary, framing it as what you need in order to show up as your best self. Lovingly communicate the boundary. Hold the boundary. Repeat... Good luck! Let's stick together. We really need each other right now, parents! I have found that having a small community of parents who understand is essential to my wellbeing. Join our Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/3229904633801703/?source_id=400903940032482 To be the first to know about the Compassion Challenge for Parents, join Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids, and grab your Mindful Meltdown Cheatsheet here: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/meltdown --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
Yawning is universal and so simple. When we're under threat, we don't yawn. Yawning signals to your body that you are safe enough to relax. You might set off a chain reaction, which is not a problem. Your nervous system deserves a good yawn. Think of a cat, yawning with its entire body. Reach your arms up, lengthening one side as you breathe in through a wide mouth. Exaggerate the movement. Then, do the other side. We are socialized to think there's something impolite about yawning. Our culture tells us to suppress our yawns. Drop that belief for now. Here, yawning is encouraged. You have just given your nervous system a tune up by activating your vagus nerve and stimulating the ‘attend and befriend' response of your nervous system. Please note how you feel after the Yawn. I have found that having a small community of parents who understand is essential to my wellbeing. Join our Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/3229904633801703/?source_id=400903940032482 To be the first to know about the Compassion Challenge for Parents, join Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids, and grab your Mindful Meltdown Cheatsheet here: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/meltdown --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
Progressive relaxation is a great way to learn how to release your muscles more deeply. Sometimes it helps to exaggerate your tight places, so that you can identify them and then let them go. This is a great practice to help you wind down for sleep, or whenever you need to ground yourself. We end with the Serenity Prayer, in order to let go of hyper-vigilance on a deeper level. Please send me an email and let me know how you would like to be supported on this podcast. Would you like to hear more from Ocean? How about other parents? More breathing or mindfulness or gentle yoga practices? Join our Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/3229904633801703/?source_id=400903940032482 To be the first to know about the Compassion Challenge for Parents, join Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids, and grab your Mindful Meltdown Cheatsheet here: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/meltdown --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
How's your primary relationship? I'm talking about your relationship with yourself! Do you ever say unkind words to yourself? Would you say those words to someone you love? Parents, when you are hard on yourself, there are ripple effects. You may think your kids aren't listening, but those are the only times they ARE listening! They absorb more than we think. Our kids are learning self acceptance (or self criticism) by how we treat ourselves. If you wouldn't say something to your beloved, try not to say it to yourself. Here are 3 Steps to Self Acceptance, based on mindfulness practices: Observe your unkind thought. Don't pile on by judging yourself further. Just notice the thought. Feel the associated feelings in your body. Say yes to whatever feeling is present here. Say something kind to yourself. For example, "It's not your fault." or "You're not alone in this." or "I love you." I have found that having a small community of parents who understand is essential to my wellbeing. Join our Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/3229904633801703/?source_id=400903940032482 To be the first to know about the Compassion Challenge for Parents, join Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids, and grab your Mindful Meltdown Cheatsheet here: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/meltdown --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
Ocean and I were just swapping YouTube videos about bullying, and we decided to record a conversation. I'm a bit anxious about Ocean starting middle school next year. 'Bullies' are everywhere throughout life, so it is important to me that we keep an open dialogue. Please note that we are NOT talking about any sort of physical abuse. Brooks Gibbs has been on my radar for a while. In general his approach makes a lot of sense to me; way more sense than some of the traditional vilifying/shaming/victimizing strategies imposed top-down by school systems. Gibbs categorizes bullies as someone who either feels that they have been wronged, are power hungry, or they actually think they are being funny. He shares ways to defuse all three. I agree with Gibbs about not reacting to the mean words, or being extra kind. However, I don't agree with "Don't get upset." Be aware of who it is safe to SHOW you're upset with. Mindfulness can help us defer our reactions. We can postpone them, but eventually our feelings need somewhere to go. I hope everyone, child and adult, has someone safe to talk with about any challenging feelings. Being tough isn't the special sauce here, it is staying calm even though you feel hurt. When you know who is safe to share your feelings with, it is easier to not react to teasing in the moment. You can proactively role play with your kid, like we did. Then, you can remind your child that we all have hurt feelings. You can model naming your own hurt feelings, and describe how they feel in your body. Your child can ask themselves, “What is happening now?” They might actually pause to notice what's happening in their environment. Then, “Can I be with it, or is it too much?” If staying and talking to the bullying kid feels too painful, they need to be empowered to walk away. These are complex skills for anyone. I was nudging Ocean towards his own conclusions. Ocean and I laugh a lot in this podcast, but bullying is no laughing matter. Laughter is a coping mechanism, and humor has always been one of his superpowers. I was intentionally being silly about it, not to belittle the topic, but to discharge any residual stress from suppressed memories. After the chat with Ocean, I share some simple mindfulness tips and scripts, and my guiding light: the serenity prayer. Brooks Gibbs video: https://youtu.be/7oKjW1OIjuw --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
Advice for parents of atypical kids, from Ocean as he begins his 5th grade year in NYC's ASD Nest program, amid pandemic confusion. He offers simple, logical suggestions about parenting anyone, really, in a mindful, observant and collaborative way. Ocean has some thoughts about when parents should tell their kid about their diagnosis. He has strong feelings about the way his ABA Pre-K tried to deal with his aversion to snaps and buttons. He did look adorable at his Aunt's wedding, but he definitely was NOT wearing a tie. I'll post a pic in the Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Facebook Group, on request! Join here: Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids, and grab your Mindful Meltdown Cheatsheet here: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/meltdown --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
“All parenting turns on a crucial question: to what extent parents should accept their children for who they are, and to what extent they should help them become their best selves.” -Andrew Solomon, Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity This podcast is my answer to that question. We can set an example, by caring for ourselves and others. By taking responsibility for our own happiness and our relationships. By being caring to ourselves first. We have an opportunity to transform. As we do, we can have an impact on the future of our children. Envisioning that future, and taking steps towards it, can help us feel more hopeful and motivated on the parenting path. I have found that having a small community of parents who understand is essential to my wellbeing. Join our Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/3229904633801703/?source_id=400903940032482 Mindful Meltdown Cheatsheet here: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/meltdown --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
As parents of atypical kids, we know, when it RAINS, it pours. In the process of living a life of meaning, my vulnerability arises. Emotionally raw places become exposed, and my precarious serenity is challenged not only by my relationship with my son, but by life in general. Join me in a self-compassion process which has helped me immensely to heal my underlying emotional wounds. Recognize, allow, investigate and nurture your uncomfortable feelings, and then saturate your nervous system with compassion. I first learned RAIN from Tara Brach. I have added the stage of Saturate, in place of After the RAIN. I have found that having a small community of parents who understand is essential to my wellbeing. Join our Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/3229904633801703/?source_id=400903940032482 To be the first to know about the Compassion Challenge for Parents, join Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids, and grab your Mindful Meltdown Cheatsheet here: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/meltdown --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message
Welcome to Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids! My son Ocean suggested we record a podcast to help other atypical kids who have been affected by the changes due to Coronavirus. He shares his strategies and what has been the hardest. At the end, I'll lead you through a few simple eye exercises, in case you are also experiencing stress and eye strain. Connect with other parents in the Facebook group: Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Community. Download the Mindful Meltdown Cheat Sheet & join my newsletter: https://healthy-happy-yoga.ck.page/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/oceansmama/message