Podcast appearances and mentions of dan seigel

Enjoy this special presentation from the first-ever Whinypaluza Ultimate Marriage & Parenting Summit! As an advocate for human resilience & growth, Judy Herman inspires executive women with resistant spouses to unlock the power of their authentic selves in order to live peaceful, purposeful, & positive lives without regret. She provides keynote addresses seminars and workshops for companies that support women in leadership while honoring authentic work relationships and cultures. Her clinical and personal experiences enhance her work as an executive coach providing skills and resources that change organizations and family trees. Judy Herman has trained with world-renowned marriage and relationship experts including Drs. John & Julie Gottman, Dr. Harville Hendrix & Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, Terry Real, Dr. Sue Johnson, and Dr. Dan Seigel.   Listen to this insightful Whinypaluza episode with Judy Herman about the ways your past impacts your thoughts and beliefs around your future relationships with others. Here is what to expect on this week's show: The story about yourself matters in how you create new stories with others. Holding onto things from past relationships will affect future relationships. Our thoughts and beliefs and how we relate to others has a bearing on who we are drawn to. Our emotions come from our thoughts and our past, but they are designed to move and flow. What are the 3 Ps? How does it determine who you choose as a partner? Think of relationships as synchronized dances in the way you are programmed to respond and how you WANT to respond. Remember that you are not perfect, and you are not alone in your struggles. Hear Judy's real and raw experiences on marriage and the epiphany she had after the end of her second marriage. The importance of being able to step back from your life and look at the bigger picture and see what lessons there are to learn.   Links Mentioned: Beyond Messy Relationships https://a.co/d/bcMjtzf Connect with Judy: Website https://www.judycounselor.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/JudyKHerman Instagram https://www.instagram.com/judycounselor/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/judykherman/ LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/judykherman/ Follow Rebecca Greene Blog  https://www.whinypaluza.com/ Book 1  https://bit.ly/WhinypaluzaBook Book 2 https://bit.ly/whinybook2 Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/whinypaluzaparenting Instagram https://www.instagram.com/becgreene5/ @becgreene5 TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@whinypaluzamom?lang=en @whinypaluzamom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, Melissa shares her thoughts on one of the topics that she and Jon discussed during the previous episode…spanking. Yes, it can be controversial, but it doesn't have to be. Melissa hopes to normalize having conversation about spanking and open mindedness when it comes to alternatives. She shares a few things for those who choose to spank to consider, some alternatives to spanking, and provides some great resources at the end.  Melissa does talk briefly about her own experiences with the church and spanking, but her thoughts and opinions are just that….her thoughts and opinions.  If you would like to have more conversation with her, she would love for you to reach out! Topics Melissa mentions: Detective Diary to help better understand the needs behind your child's behaviors can be downloaded HERE Mr. Chazz and his amazing Instagram The Whole Brain Child by Dan Seigel can be purchased HERE The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis can be purchased HERE **Find FULL SHOW NOTES at my website, https://www.mendingfamilieswa.com/mending-families-podcast Where to find Mending Families: Instagram - @mendingfamilieswa TikTok - @mendingfamilieswa Facebook - @mendingfamilieswa https://www.mendingfamilieswa.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melissa-pemberton/support

Forest bathing, the limbic system, and the effects of hope are all topics of conversation on today's episode with Cathy Moore. Listen in as we do a deep dive on how our mental state can affect our wellbeing and learn new ways to rewire your brain or face difficult fears. BE KIND TO OTHERS, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, AND MAKE GOOD CHOICES [00:15] Welcome to Kathy [01:15] The mind and body connection [05:41] Fear and the brain [10:24] Retraining the limbic system [13:21] Dan Seigel's hand model of the brain [17:15] Gut health importance [17:52] Programs for rewiring the brain [21:53] Ways to face fears and engage in life [28:37] Cortisol responses and respecting that response [32:51] Hope and its effects [37:51] Ways to add hope into your life [44:22] Research conducted about hope [48:11] Wrapping up Stay connected to Dr. Meaghan and her work through the following links: Youtube: One Agora Integrative and Aesthetic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBvlMzs8K94 Instagram: OneAgoraHealth DrMeaghanKirschling Facebook: One Agora Health Twitter: BTBHAcademy LinkedIn: Dr. Meaghan Kirschling Clinic Website: oneagorahealth.com

Summary:  In this episode, I invite you to explore and understand with me neuropsychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel's Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) and what IPNB can show us about psychological health.  We review the triangle of well-being, the nature of secure attachments, and the basis for mental health from an IPNB perspective.  We examine the characteristics of a healthy mind and how it functions, and the two signs that reliable indicate all psychological symptoms and mental dysfunction.  We discuss the nine domains of integration, mindsight, and the healthy mind platter, and I share my exchange with Dr. Siegel about whether and how IPNB can be integrated with Catholicism.   Lead in:  Today I want to share with you an approach to understanding ourselves and guiding ourselves toward health that I am really excited about, that I think has great potential to help us in our human formation as Catholics. We are together in this great adventure, this podcast, Interior Integration for Catholics, we are journeying together, and I am honored to be able to spend this time with you.   I am Dr. Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist and passionate Catholic and together, we are taking on the tough topics that matter to you.   We bring the best of psychology and human formation and harmonize it with the perennial truths of the Catholic Faith.    Interior Integration for Catholics is part of our broader outreach, Souls and Hearts bringing the best of psychology and human formation grounded in a Catholic understanding of the human person to you and the rest of the world through our website soulsandhearts.com  We are continuing our series on how the best of secular psychological approaches define mental health, psychological well-being.  We started with Episode 89 on Polyvagal Theory and covered Positive Psychology, Psychodynamic Psychotherapy and Internal Family Systems in Episode 90.   Today's episode, number 92 is entitled "Understanding and Healing your Mind through IPNB"  and it's released on April 4, 2022.  We are going to unpack what IPNB is, what is says about our human condition and I will share with you an exchange I recently had with neuropsychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel, who brought this whole integrative framework into being, about whether IPNB can be reconciled with Catholicism.   Stay with me for a really interesting deep dive into this fascinating way of understanding ourselves and others.   Interpersonal Neurobiology or IPNB Let's start by understanding what IPNB is.  Interpersonal neurobiology.   Breaking down the name interpersonal neurobiology Inter = between us, among us -- implies relationship.  Relational model.  Not just between you and me, but also between you and you -- inner relationships within you, inner relationships within me.   Personal -- very relational.   Inter-personal and intrapersonal IPNB is all about the way my deep inner experiences connect with your inner experiences  Neurobiology -- not just the field of neurobiology, but all the branches of scientifically studying how human development takes place and how we can promote well-being in our lives.  Neurobiology brings in all the embodied, physical dimension of our existence.  Our bodies, our brains, our whole nervous system and all of our embodied biology being, that what the neurobiology part refers to  Interpersonal neuro-biology or IPNB -- works to be a wholistic approach to the human person.   IPNB was developed in the 1990s by neuropsychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel who brought together more than 40 professionals, more than 40 experts from a wide range of scientific disciplines to discuss and demonstrate how the mind, brain, and relationships integrate to influence and change each other.   Questions that IPNB asks and addresses these questions, five questions standing out to me: What is the human mind?  How does the mind develop?  What does the human mind look like when it's doing really, really well, when it's functioning optimally?  How can we encourage, nurture and cultivate a healthy, strong mind?  How can we take what we've learned about the mind and find practical applications that make a real difference in our daily lives?  Guidance for how to live our lives Pointers for what may need to change in our thinking and behavior to help us live more fully.   Very practical -- not just academic ivory-tower, pie-in-the-sky speculation -- Daniel Siegel really wants IPNB to bring healing, growth and well-being to people.  I like that.  I'm into that.  What IPNB is Not Not a therapy.  Not a way of doing therapy.  Rather, a way of understanding that can inform different schools of therapy.  IPNB is not a discipline.  It's not a specific branch of knowledge.  Rather, IPNB is a framework that draws on all the different disciplines with a rigorous and structured approach to studying things – not just science – They all have a place in the framework. It's a consilient framework:  Consilience:  E. O. Wilson  Assessing the universal findings discovered and recognized as real or true across fields and disciplines The fields contributing to IPNB Anthropology  Art  Biology (developmental, evolution, genetics, zoology)  Chemistry  Cognitive Science  Computer Science  Contemplative Traditions  Developmental Psychopathology  Liberal Arts  Linguistics   Neuroscience Affective  Cognitive  Developmental  social   Mathematics  Medicine  Mental Health  Music  Physics  Poetry  Psychiatry   Psychology Cognitive  developmental  Volutionary  Experimental  of religion  Social  attachment theory  memory   Sociology  Systems Theory (chaos and complexity theory)   All of these disciplines, all of these fields of inquiriy contribute to IPNB findings   IPNB also seeks a common language for these disciplines to be able to share and discuss about these big topics: What is the human mind?  How does the mind develop?  How can we make a healthy, strong mind?  How can we take what we've learned about the mind and find practical applications that make a real difference in our daily lives.   Thus IPNB is a going for the big picture.   IPNB emphasizes a need for humility and openness in the work.   Definition:  Interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB): a consilient field that embraces all branches of science and now other disciplined ways of understanding reality, such as contemplative traditions and a liberal arts, as it seeks the common universal findings across independent ways of knowing in order to expand our understanding of the mind and well-being. p.506 The Human Mind If we want a strong ordered mind, it helps to know what the mind actually is.  If we want mental well-being, it's really valuable to slow down and ask the question -- what is the human mind.   A central question for IPNB is "what is the human mind." The mind is rarely defined -- you know how important definitions are to me.  And the mind is often discussed but rarely defined.   Insert quotes about the importance of definitions Insert quotes about the mind.   When the mind is defined, most often defined as the output of the brain.  Problem of Hippocrates:  Our mind comes only from our brain echoed by the famous psychologist William James in his highly influential 1890 book "Principles of Psychology"   The mind is essentially just the product of the brain.  The activity of the brain generates the activity of the mind.  So the mind's activity is solely the product of the brain's activity.  American neuropsychologist, neurobiologist and Nobel laureate Roger Sperry  -- Mental process cannot be reduced to brain mechanisms.  Even if they are dependent on them, it doesn't make them the same.   Although the mind may depend on the activity of brain cells, the firing of neurons in the brain, the mind is not the same the same thing as the firing of neurons.  The mind is not the brain, and it's not just the products of nervous system activity.  According to Daniel Siegel and IPNB, the mind is a term that at a minimum includes what we're familiar with when we think of mind.   mental activity that includes Consciousness  emotions  Mood  Thinking  information processing  problem-solving  decision making  Memory  Narrative  meaning-making  Intention  Belief  Hope  Attitudes  Assumptions  Desire  Longing  Dreams  Our subjective feeling of being alive.   all of these are mental activities which are beautiful, powerful descriptions of what people mean when they say mind.  The mind constructs its own experience of reality. Critical point:  the mind emanates from the interactions within the brain -- so there's the neurobiology -- the brain, the nervous system, the body -- but the mind is not just the product of neurobiology -- there's also the interpersonal aspect -- the mind also radiates from our internal relationships within ourselves and our relationships with other people.  There's the interpersonal part of interpersonal neurobiology. The mind encompasses both the embodied brain and our relationships.    Definition of Mind  from p. 507 The Developing Mind, 3rd Edition. :   The mind is a process that includes at least four fundamental aspects: (1) personal, subjective experience; (2) awareness; (3) information processing; and (4) a regulatory function that is an emergent, self-organizing, embodied, and relational process of the extended nervous system and relationships.  This facet of a core aspect of mind offers a working definition of "mind" as an embodied and relational process that regulates the flow of energy and information.  In this perspective, the brains activities an important part of mind, but mind is broader than the brain and bigger than the individual body. The mind is fully embodied and fully relational.   Let's break that down.  In IPNB, the mind is a process.  The mind is not so much a thing, as it is a process, the activity within us that regulates the flow of both energy and information through its neurocircuitry, which is then shared and regulated between people through engagement, connection, and communication. Facets of the Mind Personal, subjective Experience -- the felt texture of life  Awareness or consciousness   Information Processing -- and that information processing can be conscious or not The emergent, self-organizing, embodied and relational process that regulates the flow of energy and information – flow happens within (embodied) and between (relational).   If you don't understand all that in the first go-round, that's OK.  You don't need to understand it all, there's come complexity here.   The critical thing to remember about your mind for our purposes is that your mind can change your brain and be changed by your brain -- your mind can change your relationships and your mind can be changed by your relationships -- and your brain can also be changed by your relationships.     Our attachment relationships experiences shape the structures in the brain that correlate with key features of our inner and inter mind as we carry these neuroplastic changes forward in life – open to new growth and learning – as they continue to shape our internal world and our interpersonal lives across the lifespan. Secure, healthy relationships can heal your mind and your brain.  You can see this in the neuro-electrical firing xand neurochemical activity in the brain with neurotransmitters, and also in the anatomy of the brain. Raissa Miller in her 2016 Article titled Interpersonal Neurobiology: Applications for the Counseling Profession Finally, the mind can influence the brain and relationships. Consistent with characteristics of a complex system, the mind both emerges from and in turn influences the functioning of the brain and relationships. How one focuses attention affects neural structure and function. Furthermore, through processes not yet fully understood — perhaps through resonance circuitry or mirror neurons — the mental processes of one person can influence the mental processes of another person. The Triangle of Well-Being  -- Imagine a triangle with three vertices or corners.  One vertex is The Brain, a second vertex is the Mind, and the third vertex is Relationship.  So we have a triangle, and at the top, where the point is, we have relationship, and at another corner, we have brain and at the other corner we have mind.    The Mind -- we've been covering that: The Brain -- the embodied mechanism of energy and information flow  Definition:  Brain: here are viewed as the extended nervous system distributed throughout the entire body and intimately interwoven with the physiology of the body as a whole. It is the embodied neural mechanism that shapes the flow of energy and information. p. 502 Not just the grey matter inside our skull but our whole nervous system.    Justin Sonnenburg, Erica Sonnenburg on May 1, 2015 Scientific American Gut Feelings–the "Second Brain" in Our Gastrointestinal Systems .  The enteric nervous system is often referred to as our body's second brain. There are hundreds of million of neurons connecting the brain to the enteric nervous system, the part of the nervous system that is tasked with controlling the gastrointestinal system. This vast web of connections monitors the entire digestive tract from the esophagus to the anus. The enteric nervous system is so extensive that it can operate as an independent entity without input from our central nervous system, although they are in regular communication.   Energy and information flow is what the embodied brain is all about  Relationships -- the sharing of energy and information flow between people Energy and information flow between people  Energy and information are shared in relationships.   Integration – the differentiation and linkage of parts of a system – within the relationship is essential to understanding resonance, which is different from mirroring or giving up your individual needs and sense of differentiation  PART model of verbal and nonverbal relationships -- Presence, Attunement, Resonance, and Trust.   Presence:  Openness; awareness of present moment experience:   Presence is the portal to integration; an open, receptive awareness of the unfolding of moment-to-moment experience the opposite of presence is unintentional mind-wandering Attunement:  Focus of attention on the internal world of self or other Internal Attunement:  Focusing of attention on my internal world  Interpersonal Attunement:  Focusing of attention on the internal world of another  if a parent is attuned to the child's mind, much better outcome than if just reacting to the child's behavior.   Mirror neurons may be activated in attunement   Resonance:  Being shaped by another  Next step -- interpersonal attunement allows for two individuals to resonate with one another, A deeper sense of connection, of being with each other.   To feel felt by one another.   As the two are resonating, feeling felt by one another, joined in relationship they are still separate.  They are not fused, there is no loss of individual identity.  You are still you when you are in relationship with me, and I am still me.  This is really important, that the individual, differentiated nature of each person is not lost.  Two tuning forks, at the same frequency.   Trust:  A deep sense of openness and reliability States of safety vs. states of  threat  Trust creates a sense of receptivity  Social engagement system is turned on Integration allows us to differentiate streams of energy, freeing us from default-mode processing dominating our experience in the moment New ways of thinking, imagining, considering  Allows our faculty of imagination to develop.   Connection refers to a process of mutual resonance occurring between two individuals, leading to attunement and a sense of we  Ruptures are inevitable in relationships, and they can be thought of as opportunities for repair and the deepening of connection   Four critical concepts in IPNB:  Empathy, compassion, kindness and forgiveness  Empathy has many facets, including feeling the feelings of another, perspective-taking, and cognitive understanding Empathy: the capacity to make a map of another's mental state that includes at least the five functions of  emotional resonance perspective taking empathic understanding empathic joy, and  empathic concern.  For most individuals, empathy is a requirement for compassion. Integration enables empathic connection to be harnessed without losing differentiation and fusing with another's experience.  p.504   Compassion: The way in which we perceive the suffering of another, imagine how to help, and then take action to alleviate the suffering Compassion: the capacity to sense suffering, to imagine what might be done to reduce that suffering, and to take effective action for that purpose. Compassion can be directed towards one's inner experience – sometimes called "self-compassion" – as well as toward others in what is sometimes called "other-directed" compassion. These two directions in the flow of compassion can be called "inner compassion" and "inter compassion." p. 503   Kindness: Acting with no expectation of getting something in return; honoring and supporting one another's vulnerabilities -- sounds a lot like the Christian concept of charity; others may think of this as altruism  Forgiveness can be thought of as giving up all hope for a better past; acceptance of what was.   The brain, the mind, and relationships are all critical elements of the triangle of well-being.   Secure attachments  Siegel in "The Developing Mind," 3rd Ed.  p. 225:  Attachment at its core is based on parental sensitivity and responsivity to the child's signals, which allow for collaborative parents-child communication. Contingent communication gives rise to secure attachment and is characterized by a collaborative give-and-take of signals between the members of the pair. Contingent communication relies on the alignment of internal experiences, or states of mind, between the child and caregiver. This mutually sharing, mutually influencing set of interactions – this emotional attunement or mental state residents – is the essence of healthy, secure attachment.  Neural networks are activated and shaped by these relational experiences Our relational experiences reshape not only our minds but our brains.   The four Ss of building a secure attachment:  Feeling Seen, Safe, Soothed, and Secure Seen   I feel that my needs are being accurately perceived by the other My mind is seen beneath my behavior Safe I feel protected from harm, from danger  The other person is not a source of fear   Soothed I can be reliably comforted and calmed by the other in times of stress  Ruptures are readily repaired   Secure I am able to explore my environment  I can go back to the other as a safe base    What is the basis for health or mental well-being  -- the integration of the mind.   Daniel Siegel proposes that integration of the mind is the basis for health.   I made this argument way back in episode 15 of this podcast, long before I was all that familiar with IPNB.   Supported by more than 20 years of research now.  Raisa Miller helps us break this down.  Mental Well-Being Mental well-being, from an IPNB perspective, is defined in terms of integration.  Functionally distinct components within the complex mind system differentiate (i.e., specialize) Each component has a unique role in the system.    and then link with other components of the system to form a greater whole -- but you don't blend them.    The metaphor of a fruit salad versus a fruit smoothie is often used to illustrate integration.  Each ingredient in a fruit salad maintains its unique quality (differentiating)  while also combining (linking) to make a new, more complex dish (an “integrated” fruit salad). Optimal organization depends on linking differentiated parts of the system (integration) you do not have the differences among those parts disappear (not homogenization).  Coherence instead.  Integration is defined as the linkage of differentiated elements. The mind's process of linking differentiated parts (distinct modes of information processing) into a functional whole is postulated to be the fundamental mechanism of both. Without integration, chaos, rigidity, or both ensue. Integration is both a process and a structural dimension, and can be examined, for example, in the functional and anatomic studies of the nervous system. p. 506 Considerable evidence indicates that the mind is the self-organizing, emergent embodied relational process that utilizes the differentiation and linkage of aspects of the system the mind is in. When that goes well – health arises.  When it goes poorly, chaos or rigidity or both rise up.   When a system is not optimally self-organizing, it veers toward  Rigidity -- everything seems predictable  Dorsal vagal shutdown, the freezing and numbing out state like in dissociation we discussed this in Episode 89 on polyvagal theory  This leads to rigidity   Examples  Extreme example would be hysterical paralysis Another example --  a deep, major depression Chaos -- everything seems completely unpredictable  PTSD symptoms Flashbacks  Nightmares   Panic attacks   Or both -- e.g. bipolar disorder Depressive episode -- rigidity.   Manic episode -- chaos Daniel Siegel:  Every symptom of every disorder of the DSM-5 can be framed in terms of chaos or rigidity "Human suffering can be summed up in chaos and rigidity."   Health is found in the internal integration, where there is neither chaos nor rigidity.   When you improve self-organization within a system leading to harmony and integration, including the mind, you find five qualities.  Acronym FACES Optimal Self organization involves the integration of elements of the system leading to harmony described as a FACES flow  Individuals operating at greater levels of integration are more open to possibilities and flexible in response to their natural proclivities -- this is described as a FACES flow.   FACES flow your mind is: Flexible -- your mind can think outside the box, be innovative and come up with new and original ideas and solutions to problems, your mind can be imaginative, and creative.  Flexible  Adaptive -- your mind can adjust to new situations, change course as needed, roll with the punches and handle the various challenges and demands that life throws at you.   Coherent -- your mind stays clear, lucid, orderly inside, and you have the full use of your intellect and reason.  You can think logically and sensibly  Energized -- your mind is alert, active, dynamic, and animated, with stamina and vitality  Stable -- your mind is balanced, calm, steady and you have a sense of being solidly grounded and secure.   Nine domains of integration list them.   Consciousness – differentiating the knowing from the knowns of what we are aware of. Knowns and unknowns Awareness of the body, mental/emotional, relational, and outside world. Openness to things as they are    Bilateral – the differentiated functions of the left and right hemispheres.  Left hemisphere is logical and linear, very literal, verbal Right side is more creative, metaphoric, and symbolic, nonlinear, intuitive, nonverbal Vertical – linking the body's signals and the lower neural regions of the brainstem and limbic area to the higher cortical regions. Gut, heart, and lungs all have neural networks that seek to communicate with the brain. Too many people are disconnected from the awareness from our bodies.  Memory – linking the differentiated elements of implicit memory to the autobiographical and factual experience of explicit memory. Implicit and explicit memory integration.  When traumas become implicit memory, a schema, we are stuck in the past.  To integrate memory, we make implicit memories explicit and weave them into our narrative, the story of our lives in a coherent and meaningful way   Narrative – making sense of memory and experience such that one finds meaning in events that have occurred. State – respecting the differentiated states of mind that make up the wide array of clusters of memory, thought, behavior, and action that are the nature of our multi-layered selves. we are multiple selves sharing a body. Three parts: We need to learn to honor our states (intrastate), interstate, honor that we have different needs at the same time and we need to pay attention to that, and interpersonal states, maintaing my own states while in relation with others.    In IFS language, these states are somewhat analogous to parts.   Interpersonal – honoring one another's inner experience and linking in respectful communication. -- involves nurturing.  Not fusing, being separate but near, being with.    Temporal – the capacity to represent ‘time' or change in life and reflect on this ‘passage of time' (e.g. life versus death). Making maps of time. Connected to narrative - we seek certainty, but change is the only constant. We also become aware of our eventual death.  Identity – the sense of agency and coherence potentially associated with feelings of belonging. The identity of a bodily self expands beyond the boundary of the skin - we sense our interconnection time, place, and people. Integration of integration   Mindsight  Mindsight-the ability to see the internal world of self and others  p. 54 Mindsight is likely to be essential and healthy relationships of many kinds  Mindsight permits integrative communication in which individuals are honored for their differences and compassionate connections are cultivated that link one mind to another  Daniel Siegel proposes that interpersonal integration promotes the growth of integrative fibers in the brain. The neural circuits linking differentiating areas to one another are the regulatory and social circuits of the brain. 54   Three Components of Mindsight -- insight, empathy and integration.  Insight: Reflecting with awareness by focusing attention on the internal, subjective world of one's own interior mental experience, including feelings, thoughts, memories Empathy: Sensing the inner experience of another within one's own mind; forming a mental map of another; feeling felt by an empathic other is the foundation of a supportive relationship Integration: The differentiation or specialization, and, ultimately, linkage of systems including the brain and interpersonal relationships; without integration, chaos, rigidity, or both emerge, resulting in a state of mental dysfunction; with integration, harmony emerges with flexibility, adaptability, coherence, stability, and energy (a FACES flow) Mindsight:  the ability to see the internal world of self and others, not just to observe behavior. It is the way we not only sense but also shape energy and information flow within the triangle of mind, brain, and relationships and move that flow toward integration. Using mindsight, integration made visible is kindness and compassion. p.506 Integration made visible is kindness, compassion, and well-being How do we get there.  Lots of recommendations from IPNB.  Lots of models and acronym. Can check out Dr. Dan Siegel's website at https://drdansiegel.com/   Lots of resources there if IPNB resonates with you.  Books and courses and blogs and videos and all kinds of things, most of it free, and he's a very good speaker and teacher.  He's done a lot to help parents raise very young children, informed by the science of IPNB and to help parents and their adolescent children understand and connect with each other.   Wheel of awareness -- A reflective practice that integrates consciousness using the metaphor of a wheel in which the hub represents the knowing of being aware and the room contains the elements of the knowns, from the first five senses to mental activity such as emotions, thoughts, and memory. p.511 other resources  I'm going to focus on one resource today, one of many resources Healthy Mind Platter I'm going to focus on one particular element.  Healthy Mind Platter  In 2011, the USDA change from a food pyramid (nearly two decades) to a food plate.  Inspired David Rock and Daniel Siegel to design the "Healthy Mind Platter"   The Healthy Mind Platter has seven daily essential mental activities necessary for optimum mental health.  These seven daily activities make up the full set of “mental nutrients” that your brain and relationships need to function at their best.  By engaging every day in each of these servings, you promote integration in your life and enable your brain to coordinate and balance its activities. These essential mental activities strengthen your brain's internal connections and your connections with other people and the world around you. We're not suggesting specific amounts of time for this recipe for a healthy mind, as each individual is different, and our needs change over time too.  The point is to become aware of the full spectrum of essential mental activities, and as with essential nutrients, make sure that at least every day we are bringing the right ingredients into our mental diet, even if for just a bit of time.  List of the Health Mind Platter elements: Sleep Time  Physical Time  Downtime  Focused Time  Playtime  Time in  Connecting Time  (repeat)   Components of the Health Mind platter -- drawing from various sources by Dan Seigel and also a video by Marie Holowaychuk  Psychotherapy Networker article The Heathy Mind Platter May 2020  Sleep Time When we give the brain the rest it needs, we consolidate learning and recover from the experiences of the day.  This is important for lots of reasons, especially because sleep directly affects inflammation in the brain. It's also critical because when we get seven to nine hours of quality sleep, the toxins secreted by active neurons during our waking hours are cleaned up. Without enough sleep, we're likely to have increased brain inflammation and decreased ability to focus, remember, stabilize our mood, and even process calories  memory consolidation and processing, learning and task integration, emotional regulation and positivity, insight, creativity and problem-solving   Physical Time  When we move our bodies, aerobically if medically possible, we strengthen the brain in many ways. It's easy to become a couch potato when we're spending so much time in front of screens, so we need this time when we really focus on moving our body. Therapists can consider doing this in between sessions or even with clients. Helps to maintain brain health and plasticity increases learning and memory improves cognitive and executive functions enables us to focus in spite of distractions benefits of reducing stress, anxiety, and depression Downtime When we are non-focused, without any specific goal, and let our mind wander or simply relax, we help the brain recharge.  This is space to not do anything specific and just chill out. Our minds need this. As opposed to moments when we find ourselves unintentionally getting distracted, down time involves intentionally letting our minds wander. This might include watching a show or listening to music, drawing on a pad of paper, or simply playing with water in the sink as you do the dishes.  we let our mind simply wander or relax  downtime allows our brains to recharge permits integration of previous thoughts and experiences  we get a generation of new insights because it enables integration across the left and right hemispheres  struggle with a complex problem, but when you start feeling anxious or stressed or hit the wall, distract yourself from with from the problem by doing something completely unrelated  sudden insight often follows   Focus Time: When we closely focus on tasks in a goal-oriented way, we take on challenges that make deep connections in the brain.  This is time spent focusing on something external with discipline, like reading a book. Say to yourself, “For this half hour, I'm not going to be distracted by the news or anything else.” Research suggests that when we focus our attention like this, we release a number of substances, including BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor), which enhance brain growth. When we have a singular focus of attention, we learn more, remember more, and enjoy the experience more.  Paying close attention to some project  you're not multitasking, instead you are focusing in a goal oriented way, thinking efficiently and effectively you're not getting distracted by all sorts of other things, phone and email alerts are off.   Really focusing attention on just one thing a time Can come with a feeling of success, of mastery because you were able to really accomplish something, to do something new.  Focus time gets the brain to secrete to chemicals to allow the neurons which are firing to strengthen their connections to one another. This helps your attention and concentration -- helps develop your prefrontal cortex and your sharpens and clarifies your mind.   Cal Newport's Book Deep Work taught me so much about this component of the healthy mind platter -- and others as well.  Highly recommended, with very practical tips that have helped me a lot in producing this podcast.    Playtime When we allow ourselves to be spontaneous or creative, playfully enjoying novel experiences, we help make new connections in the brain.  This doesn't refer to sports but to doing something that allows you to laugh and be spontaneous—without judgments or feeling that there's a right or wrong way to do it. The notion here is to engage in an activity, perhaps with others, in which the enjoyment and creative unfolding of the moment is the focus. Too often adults lose this sense of playfulness. To cope with this pandemic, we need to keep our humor and our vitality alive and well!  this can be thought of being playful of letting novelty failure experience that letting you be spontaneous often with a sense of humor and the light. Children do this naturally, adolescents less so, and in adulthood we get very serious so it's important to have playtime. Because when you allow the brain to make these new combinations and create a sense of safety and a willingness to expand which are used to doing to expand beyond the familiar. This is a playfulness actually keeps the brain young and keeps the connections in the brain growing. That's playtime.  Forget all about work and other commitments, and be social in an unstructured way flexible emotional responses to unexpected events.  Practicing spontaneous and novel motor and social skills, facilitates learning creativity and memory  stimulates dopamine release, which helps to establish new neuronal pathways in the brain  game night with friends or coworkers, going outside to build a snowman, adult coloring books   Time in When we quietly reflect internally, focusing on sensations, images, feelings and thoughts, we help to better integrate the brain.  This is time you may already spend engaged in a formal mindfulness practice, like yoga or meditation. Inward reflection can include the three pillars of focusing attention, opening awareness, and cultivating kind intention.  This is when we are able to quietly able to reflect internally  focusing on sensations, images, feelings, and thoughts in the present moment  focusing on acceptance of the process, rather than the content  balance of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems  improved attention and more flexible Prospectives about life  better control emotions and stress  improving compassion and empathy towards our self and others   Connecting Time When we connect with other people, ideally in person, and when we take time to appreciate our connection to the natural world around us, we activate and reinforce the brain's relational circuitry  This is time you put into intentionally connecting with people, even if you can't be in their immediate physical presence. This relational time involves communicating not only with other people, but also with nature. Finding time to connect with people and the planet can help with the sense of isolation we may feel these days.  When we are able to connect with other people, ideally in person  taking time to appreciate our connections to the world around us  improves relational circuitry in the brain, and benefits the cardiovascular, endocrine, and immune systems  a buffering effect in on stress by helping us to have a positive outlook, form secure attachments, and have efficient restorative behaviors in times of stress  make time to connect with others, especially your spouse, your partner, family, and friends  plan outings, date nights, or activities into your weekly routine, to make sure that your personal connections are maintained   Review of components Sleep Time  Physical Time  Downtime  Focused Time  Playtime  Time in  Connecting Time   How to connect Interpersonal Neurobiology with Catholicism?  Harmonizing. I'm in a six-month intensive course with Dan Siegel, it is his Comprehensive Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) Course and as part of that course, we have Q&A sessions.  I was really interested in how open the IPNB model might be to Catholicism -- I wanted his thoughts on that.   Remember that IPNB draws from so many disciplines, and not just scientific ones, but any discipline with a rigorous approach to learning, including the liberal arts, poetry, and even contemplative traditions.  And I like Dan Siegel -- he is very approachable, open, receptive, and I have a deep sense that he has a big heart, a lot of concern for our human condition, a genuine compassion for his neighbor.  Not just an academic sense.    So I asked Dr. Siegel.  I sent him this question:   Q. How does the integrative, multidisciplinary framework of IPNB, which draws from the findings of so many fields, consider the wisdom (based on divine revelation) that revealed religions (i.e., Judaism, Christianity, Islam) claim to offer about human well-being to their followers – or is that way of “knowing” considered “unscientific” or “not rigorous” and therefore not invited into the IPNB framework? Re-read it  And he responded --  A: Thank you for the question, Peter. Initially, IPNB was created through the weaving of western-based academic disciplines from math and physics to biology and psychology to sociology and anthropology. It began with an effort to ask, what is the mind and how are mind and brain related to one another? As the notion of consilience later became clear, the approach broadened to include any disciplined way of understanding the nature of reality. For that reason, systematic “disciplined” ways of exploring reality, questioning what emerges, and then re-considering what is found in an attempt to build a broad framework for understanding includes the ancient wisdom traditions of Indigenous knowledge and contemplative insights. In meeting with religious leaders from the faiths you have mentioned, the plane-of-possibility view as the “generator of diversity” seems to fit with the deepest aspects of their teachings, part of what Aldous Huxley and Huston Smith might have referred to as perennial wisdom. I have also met with some teachers, not leaders, but local teachers, in various faiths who say their view is the only true view, and that to try to find a consilience across ways of knowing, from various religions and from science, is an assault on their unique and privileged “knowing of what the truth is.” In this case, that mental stance of absolute belief in the veracity of their perspective is not a part of a consilient mindset, and so it is difficult to see how, though their views would be welcomed to be examined, not just accepted because the individual believes them to be true, people with such a viewpoint would xcollaborate in looking for common ground. I hope this response makes sense. Reread the bolded part.  I thought his response was gracious and I appreciate Dan Siegel's directness and honesty.  I was not surprised by the content.  The way I interpret this is that there's not room in IPNB from Dan Siegel's point of view for one to be Catholic and participate in the search for common ground.  No revealed religion's tenets could be included because they are not open to being challenged, questioned and discarded if they don't seem to line up with the findings of the other disciplines.  That's one of his non-negotiable principles for IPNB.  So his consilient framework doesn't draw from all available knowledge.  So Dan Siegel and I disagree about epistemology -- how you know things.   For him, divine revelation is not a valid source of knowing that can inform IPNB.  For me, it divine revelation is not only essential, it's the starting point.  It's the reference point, like the North Star.  And that's likely to lead to disagreements between Dan Seigel and me about metaphysics.  But I don't ignore the valuable work of DNA discoverers James Watson and Francis Crick who described the beauty of the double helix structure of DNA--  I don't ignore their work or discount it  because both Watson and Crick displayed intense anti-Catholic bigotry.  So I'm certainly not going to ignore the really valuable work of Dan Siegel in IPNB -- let's draw the good from it. And I've not seen anything that condemns or criticizes Catholicism from Dan Siegel.  He's not Catholic, I don't expect him to embrace the Church's teaching.  Let's not be afraid of the work of IPNB and other secular approaches, let's conform it to what we already know to be true by faith.   So the upshot of all this is, for those that really want to ground human formation and psychology in a Catholic understanding of the human person, for us Catholics to not only be Catholic with a capital C, but also with a small c.  "catholic" meaning universal.  We find the good in all these secular approaches and harmonize it with our faith.  Not the other way around.  And there is no tension between authentic science and the Faith. CCC Paragraph 159:  "Though faith is above reason, there can never be any real discrepancy between faith and reason. Since the same God who reveals mysteries and infuses faith has bestowed the light of reason on the human mind, God cannot deny himself, nor can truth ever contradict truth." "Consequently, methodical research in all branches of knowledge, provided it is carried out in a truly scientific manner and does not override moral laws, can never conflict with the faith, because the things of the world and the things of faith derive from the same God. The humble and persevering investigator of the secrets of nature is being led, as it were, by the hand of God in spite of himself, for it is God, the conserver of all things, who made them what they are." That's what I am here to help you do.  To take the best of secular approaches to science, like IPNB and ground them in an authentic Catholic understanding of  the human person.  That's what I am all about, that is what this podcast Interior Integration for Catholics is all about that is what Souls and Hearts is all about. I accept the authority of the Catholic Church to teach definitively in the areas of faith and morals.  That's my starting point.  I hold those truths to be indeed true.  I am open to the possibility and the potential that I have for misunderstanding those truths.  I have misunderstood some of them before, and I may well be misunderstanding some of them now.  But one main reason for divine revelation is to show us those truths that we could never have figured out using the light of natural reason alone.  I really do believe that the reason our Lord came when he did in human history is because the Greeks had gotten about as far as natural reason would take them in philosophy and the Romans had gotten about as far as natural reason would take them in law.   So my mission, my calling is to bring you the best of psychological and human formation resources firmly rooted in a Catholic anthropology.   This is entirely consistent with the teaching of the Church as expressed in Vatican II, in paragraph 62 of The Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World: "in pastoral care, sufficient you should be made, not only of theological principles, but also of the findings of secular sciences, especially psychology and sociology; in this way the faithful will be brought to a purer and more mature living of the faith"   Closing Really excited about next month's episode -- Episode 93, coming out on May 1, 2022, where I will be offering you three experiential exercises that integrate what we've been learning in episode 89 on polyvagal theory, episode 90 on Positive Psychology, Psychodynamic Psychotherapy and Internal Family Systems and this current episode, 92 on Interpersonal Neurobiology -- all these secular approaches, I'm going to be drawing from them in these experiential exercises to really help you know yourself better, understand your needs, find where you may have internal disconnects, and also get some direction on what the next steps are.  So look for that on Monday, May 1, new episodes come out the first Monday of the month.   Weekly emails -- been doing a whole series on enemies, lots of surprising things on enemies.   Check out our Litanies of the Heart -- really excited to just have released these.  The last Episode 92 was all about the Litany of the Closed Heart, the Litany of the Fearful Heart and the Litany of the Wounded Heart.  So much great feedback.  Soulsandhearts.com/lit.   Conversation Hours You are a listener to this podcast, and in that sense, you are with me.  I am also with you!  Remember, can call me on my cell any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM Eastern Time for our regular conversation hours.  I've set that time aside for you.  317.567.9594.  (repeat) or email me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com.  If you really like this podcast, if you are finding it to be of great benefit to you -- consider the Resilient Catholics Community.  Waiting list is open for The Resilient Catholics Community at Soulsandhearts.com/rcc for our June 2022  So much information there and videos.  I want to invite you to the Resilient Catholics Community The Why of the RCC --  It's all about loving with your whole heart -- all of your being.  Getting over all the natural level issues that hold you back from tolerating being loved and from loving God and others.   Who  Who is the Resilient Catholics Community for? It's for you. If you really are into this podcast, if these ways of conceptualizing the human person and integration and human formation and resilience are appealing to you, then the Resilient Catholics community, the RCC may be for you.   I am looking for listeners who want to be with other like-minded Catholics on the journey, on this adventure of human formation with me.   Who deeply desire a personal, intimate relationship with God and with Mary, a real human, close connection  And who recognize they have some natural-level impediments to that deep relating  and  who are willing to make sacrifices in time, effort, money, humility and courage to grow in human formation and overcome natural-level impediments to being loved and to loving  What want to shore up their natural foundation for the spiritual life, because grace perfects nature.   Who want to become saints.   Who are willing to be pioneers at the cutting edge in this adventure of human formation.  Really at the tip of the spear, the first explorers of this human formation ground for laymen and laywomen.   First of all the RCC is My Tribe, my people, bringing together two groups into one First, faithful, orthodox, serious Catholics who are wounded and suffering and know it  And Second, who are psychologically minded (or at least want to be psychologically minded), who believe in the unconscious and who embrace the unity and multiplicity of the human person  And who want to see through the lens of a core self and parts.  Unity and multiplicity make sense.   Go to Soulsandhearts.com/rcc and register for the June wait list.  I'd like to journey with you.    Patron and Patroness

In this podcast episode, Sherry chats with therapist and Certified Divorce Coach® Mindy Walder.  Mindy was married to someone closely associated with someone famous and has been divorced for 10-years. She talks about how she can look back and see her codependent patterns early on in her divorce process.  She discusses the importance of clear boundaries in navigating a coparenting relationship with your former spouse, even if the relationship is amicable.  The listener is sure to enjoy Mindy's warm effervescent personality.  This episode is helpful for anyone who is early on in the divorce process and would like to hear from someone who has gained wisdom from her experience post-divorce. Mindy Walder (She/Her) is a therapist and coach working to help others find the connection between healing, personal accountability and social transformation. Mindy began her practice 10 years ago serving marginalized teenagers by helping them learn to cope within the systems that failed them. There, she honed her skills in conflict resolution techniques and self-care practices, which later served her practice as a transformation counselor/coach. Mindy's current work centers specifically around individuals who are navigating the process of divorce—at any stage therein. She helps clients realign action with values to best care for (and protect) themselves and their children in this challenging time of emotional and physical upheaval. Mindy holds an M.S. in Counseling Psychology and is a Certified Divorce Coach®. She holds a certificate from the Mindsight Institute, having studied with Jack Kornfield and Dan Seigel the relationship between neuroscience and Buddhist/mindfulness practices.Mindy currently lives in Los Angeles, CA with her two teenage children and goldendoodle, Leona. In her spare time, she is writing a middle grade fiction series, called Parissma. Mindy's website www.mindywaldercoaching.com is currently under construction and will be active again in January, 2022. She can reached at mindyhelaine@icloud.com to book an appointment and is taking new clients over zoom.Links to coparenting appsOur Family WizardCoziPeaceful Parenting

We sit down with Professional Counsellor Aly Giesbrecht to have an honest conversation about mental health. All the resources mentioned in this interview: Connect with Aly - alygiesbrechtcounselling.ca Brene Brown on Empathy: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwg Dr. Dan Seigel on the hand-model of the brain: www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-m2Y Website on faith-based mindfulness: www.compassionatepresence.ca/ (You have to make an account to access the free resources, but it's free to do so!) A PDF on suicidality: www.southernhealth.ca/assets/ Website and resources on self-compassion: self-compassion.org/category/ On anxiety and depression: www.cdc.gov/tobacco/campaign/ Mindfulness apps worth checking out: - Dwell – dwellapp.io​ - Abide – abide.co​ - Calm – calm.com​ - Headspace – headspace.com​ - Perspective, a mindful journal – apps.apple.com/app/id1186753097​

What makes a good supervisor/consultant? What questions should you ask when interviewing one to meet with you? Abby and Kellee answers these questions and more, talk how they met, their experience with a shared consultant, and what they have learned about why getting good supervision/consultation is so important in the field. Topics Touched On: Theraplay- https://theraplay.orgInterpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB)- https://www.icc.institute/iccm/what-is-interpersonal-neurobiology-ipnb/Marshall Lyles- https://www.marshalllyles.comRobyn Gobbel- https://robyngobbel.comSynergetic Play Therapy- https://synergeticplaytherapy.comDr. Bruce Perry- https://www.bdperry.comDr. Dan Seigel- https://www.drdansiegel.comBonnie Badenoch- https://www.nurturingtheheart.comIFS (Internal Family Systems)- https://ifs-institute.comEMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing): https://www.emdria.orgKrista Reichert- https://www.thebabyfold.org/experts/Play Therapy: https://www.a4pt.orgReflective Parenting: Circle of Security® - https://www.circleofsecurityinternational.com What to ask for in a supervisor/Consultation: What is your model of Supervision?What certification/credentials do you hold?How long have you been supervising? Why do you like supervising?  FOLLOW Abby and Kellee: https://www.instagram.com/the_whole_therapist/

As season one kicks off, Kellee and Abby provide digestible and relatable definitions around interpersonal neurobiology. They begin to explore concepts like neurons, mirror neurons, and why clinicians should care about the wisdom of our nervous system. Topics Touched On: Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB)- https://www.icc.institute/iccm/what-is-interpersonal-neurobiology-ipnb/Dr. Dan Seigel- https://www.drdansiegel.comBonnie Badenoch- https://www.nurturingtheheart.comRobyn Gobbel- https://robyngobbel.comLouis Cozolino- The Neuroscience of Psychotherpay: Healing the Social Brain   FOLLOW Abby and Kellee: https://www.instagram.com/the_whole_therapist/ 

Wa-hoo! Episode ONE is here and kicks off the Whole Therapist Podcast. Kellee and Abby cannot wait to share their heart for all things therapy, authenticity, and how neuroscience meets authenticity. Come on in and join the conversation, as these two licensed mental health therapists muse about the incredible field of interpersonal neurobiology, while keeping it casual (no pretentiousness allowed!).Topics Touched On:“Mwe”- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uo8Yo4UE6g0Dr. Dan Seigel- https://www.drdansiegel.comDr. Stephen Porges- https://www.stephenporges.comSynergetic Play Therapy- https://synergeticplaytherapy.comRobyn Gobbel- https://robyngobbel.comBonnie Badenoch- https://www.nurturingtheheart.com"Being with" Circle of Security® - https://www.circleofsecurityinternational.comMIM (Marschak Interactive Method)- https://theraplay.orgInterpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB)- https://www.icc.institute/iccm/what-is-interpersonal-neurobiology-ipnb/Marshall Lyles- https://www.marshalllyles.com FOLLOW Abby and Kellee: https://www.instagram.com/the_whole_therapist/

Happy Day, Friend! On this week’s podcast episode, I’m sharing some of my fav mind training tools. These tools are great for all ages! It’s a process of training our mind in focused attention. As Dr. Dan Seigel says, “The heart of training the mind is how we learn to focus attention.” ~ When we learn to master ourselves, we learn how to create the life we truly desire. The father of modern psychology, William James said, “The training of attention allows one to become a master of oneself.”When you learn to train your attention, you will have the most important skill you need to create anything in life you’ve ever wanted. It's possible for you, and the young people you teach, lead, and serve. Want more?If you are ready to dive more deeply into using these tools, you want to have an experienced mindfulness coach help you navigate your own mental and emotional terrain so you can be the best educator or parent you can be, and you want to show up with ready-to-use mindfully-centered SEL tools in your home or class then be sure to check out my program re-opening up this fall – Mindfulness Education University for Educators. Before you dive in, if you have any questions, thoughts, or comments: connect with me on social media @atheadavis! And, don’t forget to subscribe so you can stay tuned in to all the mindful living love.Stay connected

Today we are going to take a deep dive into the most powerful and important concepts from Bob Proctor’s seminars. If you have not yet heard episode #66[i], be sure to check out this episode first, to get some context behind how I met Bob Proctor, and how he influenced the work we are doing here today. I do suggest going to the show notes and writing down some of the ideas you learn from this episode, since these are some extremely powerful ideas that really can make an impact on your life. These concepts were learned from 6 years of working directly with Bob’s seminars, taking his courses over and over again, and then repeating them periodically over the past 24 years. These ideas changed the trajectory of my life, and I want to share them with you so you can have access them, and see if their application can impact your world, as much as it did for mine.I first met Bob when I was a teacher in Toronto, because his director of sales, Mark Low, lived next door to me at the time, and when I asked him what he did for a living, my whole world changed when he handed me Bob’s You Were Born Rich[ii]  book. Be sure to look in the show notes for the links, as Bob gives this book away for FREE on his website under his tips and tools section. Go there, download his book, and this lesson will make more sense once you have had a chance to look at the book first.Before I go into a deep dive of this book, which was also the first seminar I ever attended live (in May 1998), I want to give a backstory that you could relate to, if you’ve ever invested hours of your time creating something. Here’s how I remember this story (and remember from EPSIODE #44 “12 Mind-Boggling Facts About the Brain”[iii] that memories are not 100% accurate, so I’m telling you a story that I remember hearing many years ago and some of the details might be inaccurate, with the way that I’m remembering the events, but you will get the main idea of this story.So, when Bob was first writing this book, (my copy of the book shows a copyright date of 1997 which was just a year before my first seminar with him) and it was years before everyone carried their own personal laptop around. When I think back to writing reports or essays in school at this time, I used a typewriter, so I think that’s how Bob wrote his first book—the manuscript was a physical copy that he had typed, and he would carry it around with him to add more ideas to it, before he sending it off to the publisher.  On his way to the publisher, he took a taxi, again, years before we went everywhere via Uber, and he left the only copy of the book in the taxi. This story made me think of all those times I had written something, and then the computer crashed, and the document was not saved, or the times that I just lost something another way, and the only solution was to recreate what you’d lost, and that’s exactly what Bob did with this book. When you are reading it, think of the years of work that went into the stories in each chapter, and these are all true stories—I knew many of the people he wrote about—and then imagine that one day, these ideas were completely lost, and he had to recreate them again, for the world to gain access to them. It will give you an entirely new perspective when you are reading this book.Bob mentions in episode #66 that “he always believed he would reach the goals that he set and believed in the material and that goals are set not to GET—but to GROW.” It’s who we become that’s important in this process, not the things that we accumulate along the way, but the knowledge we acquire and how we use it to help others. When Bob first met me, he asked me “What do you really want?” and it took me back a bit because no one had ever asked me this before. I had to really think about it. I remember not being sure, but in the Born Rich Workbook we had the chance to revisit this and write out our heart’s desire. I still have the workbook from 1998 and what I wrote back then, isn’t far off from what I am doing today.  So, think about it, “What do YOU really want?” Have you written it out on a card like Bob still does and like I’ve been doing ever since?  Once you know what you want, then you will want to look at your beliefs and see if they integrate with your behavior. Then you will know what changes you need to make.Let’s Take a Deep Dive into Bob Proctor’s You Were Born Rich BookBIG IDEA #1 Paradigms: Something is Holding You Back. When You Become Aware of it, You Can Move Forward. Paradigms—what are they?  Paradigms could be controlling virtually every move that you make.“To ignore the power of paradigms to influence your judgment is to put yourself at significant risk when exploring the future. To be able to shape your future, you have to be ready and able to change your paradigm.” –Joel Barker, a technology and business futurist who published the book Paradigms in 1993.What’s interesting is that Bob Proctor is known for helping people to increase their life in the area of wealth, but that’s not what drew me to him. Even though his book was called You Were Born Rich, and his seminars focused on helping the attendees to build wealth, I was drawn to his work not just for the idea that I could make more money, but that I could increase the potential we had. This is where I started to see my own paradigms showing up.Let’s look at Paradigms. We used to sell the You Were Born Rich book for $20/copy and I remember having a box full of books at one of my first events, and within minutes, they sold out, and I was left with a few hundred dollars in one hand and an empty box in the other. This was the first time I thought, “I really need to write a book” as my awareness shifted as I identified a paradigm that I was ready to change—I was only used to earning money by trading my time, you know, go to work from 8am till 5pm kind of thinking and  you earn a paycheck this way. This was the way I was raised, but I was seeing now that there were other ways. With this book, I learned that we can create a product or service and if people want it, they would gratefully pay for it, giving anyone the opportunity to earn multiple sources of income. You could still work 8-5 but could also earn money from all over the world when you sell your programs and services online. I had only just started to interact with this book, hadn’t even taken the seminar yet, and my beliefs about earning money were beginning to change rapidly, without expecting it.Once you can change your belief, it opens up a whole new world. I began to see that we could earn money many different ways than how I was raised to believe.  When I started to sell for Bob, we would earn a certain amount of commission on each sale. Suddenly, we could sell a seminar seat and earn a few thousand dollars in a few minutes. This really changed my money paradigm quickly. The more you become aware, the more your mind opens up to new opportunities. Think about it like you are looking through a keyhole, and with more awareness, the keyhole opens up until eventually the door is wide open. Years later, when I worked in the corporate world, and had the chance to earn commission each year, it was not uncommon for the most successful sales reps to earn $50K-$300K in commission (on top of their yearly salary) but if your mind can’t grasp this, then you probably won’t be the one reaching this level.  Over the years I met many people working in the seminars, doing all different types of work. Some were truck drivers, some were business executives, some were educators like me. All of them had grasped this idea that we could earn income from multiple sources. This was a huge paradigm shift for me. How Do We Change Our Beliefs or Paradigms?Bob’s running a seminar this month on this very topic called the Paradigm Shift Seminar.[iv] I suggest going to the link in the show notes and watch the video at the top of the page.We first of all need to know what these paradigms are, before we can change them. I know it wasn’t until after a few years of working with Bob and he was always talking about these paradigms that we needed to change, that I finally asked, what exactly IS a paradigm? I had no idea what mine were. It’s easy to connect the dots looking back and see what they were now—I had all these notes from all these seminars, and could quote them word for word, but I still didn’t have the understanding of how all these pieces fit together. Do you know what your paradigms are? This takes time as we learn to integrate the information into our behavior and daily practice.Here are some steps that I found useful for changing our paradigms:IMAGE SOURCE :http://herzette-records.com/paradigm-shift a) Start by Identifying what paradigms are, then figure out what ones we want to change. We must understand what paradigms are controlling our behavior in order to make these changes. This starts with self-awareness[v] (that we dove deep into in EPISODE 2) and keep in mind that these habits have been passed down from your parents, and past generations (the ideas, thoughts, and beliefs of those who surrounded you when you were growing up, in addition to your environment) so it’s not our fault that we have these paradigms in the first place, and they aren’t bad, it’s just how we were raised and they might be preventing us from reaching our highest levels of potential. I’m pretty sure that I heard my Dad say “money doesn’t grow on trees” a few hundred times when I was growing up, so this was ingrained into my way of thinking—until I learned how to change it.b) Begin to study yourself and learn at the very core “who are you?” “Are you really doing the things you want to do?” “How do you approach change and challenge?” “How do you see yourself in the world?” Start here to identify who you are, and you will begin to see patterns that come up that keep you stuck where you are, preventing growth. You will discover what paradigms are controlling your actions, and in turn controlling your behavior and results. You can begin to identify your patterns, beliefs and behaviors the things that you need to change to reach these new results or levels of achievement.A Paradigm is a mental program that has almost exclusive control over our habitual behavior…and almost all of our behavior is habitual.Paradigms are a multitude of habits passed down from generation to generation.Paradigms are the way you view yourself, the world and opportunity.Paradigms are how you approach change and challenges.c) Once you’ve identified a couple of your paradigms, the work begins. Pick one habit or belief that you want to change and take new actions—while integrating your behavior and your beliefs with the new idea. You will change the paradigm when your beliefs and behavior line up by repeatedly taking new actions towards the new idea. The same way the paradigm was formed (repetition of action from those who raised you, or who you were surrounded by in your early years). You can do this with affirmations, by repeating the new belief over and over again, until one day it changes. You’ll need to repeat this over and over again (1,000 times at least) for 90 days until you actually believe it. An example of a paradigm that might hold you back from opportunity could be something like “no one at my age has ever done this or that” (I’m sure they have, so this is a limiting belief—find someone who has done what you want to do and ask them to mentor you) or another example “every time we’ve tried to reach this goal, we have failed, so I’m sure we will fail again this year” (if you think you will fail, I’m sure you will also, unless you try something new, a new angle). Another paradigm that might be passed down from generation to generation could be “no one in our family has ever done xyz…written a book, graduated from College, etc. I’m sure you are getting the point. We all have paradigms that hold us back, and until we change them, we will never reach the levels of achievement that we are capable of.d) Watch your whole world change when you identify and change your paradigms. Think of how mine changed when I saw that I could earn commission from sales or write a book and sell it to earn money all over the world. It opens up your thinking to a whole new level. If you are thinking “there’s no way that I could do any of these things, I work a job 8-5 and have no idea how this is possible” well, that’s a paradigm. I wrote my first book by waking up at 5am when I worked a corporate job. I would write 5 days a week 2 hours each morning before work, which was 10 hours a week and 40 hours a month. You really can accomplish anything that you really want to, if you have the will and desire to do it. I would love to hear from anyone who has identified and changed a paradigm that was holding them back. What was it, and how did you change it?BIG IDEA #2 Prosperity Thinking: The More We Give, The More We Stretch our Minds to Receive and Keep Giving More. This book starts off with a chapter that outlines our ways of thinking. We either think in lack and limitation, and that there’s not enough, or we can have abundant thinking. We even know from Mark Robert Waldman’s research from his recent book Neurowisdom: The New Brain Science of Money, Happiness and Success, that money does predict your happiness and that “those who make more money are happier, and those who are happier, live longer.”[vi] So, having a prosperity consciousness is vitally important for your future success as well as your health and longevity.Prosperity Thinking in Action:  How to Think into AbundanceBut how can this way of thinking be possible if we’ve just lost our job and are not sure where we will end up?  This is a timely question with unemployment being high at this time, all over the world. How can we create a prosperity consciousness when our bank accounts don’t have a paycheck being deposited every few weeks, or we can’t see what’s going to happen next? If you are thinking this right now, I highly suggest reading this book, and learning all you can on this topic. Changing your thinking from poverty consciousness (I don’t have enough) to prosperity consciousness (I have more than enough and want to share with others) was probably the most important lesson I learned after Sept 11th turned the US upside down.  Mindset and taking action is important in these transitional and uncertain times. I recently listened to Mark Cuban on LinkedIn being interviewed[vii] with tips for large or small businesses on how to navigate times like we are experiencing now, and his ideas all have to do with staying positive, being creative and pivoting your business which is what many of us did after Sept 11th. Before we can create new ideas, we must have our basic needs like food and shelter covered. When times change, and we need to find work, he suggests searching within an industry that’s doing well. Do some research and then see what areas match the skills that you have, so that you can pivot to something new, where you will find some success with your current skillset.  Once you find something, keep working, and don’t give up on any ideas that you might have had before this whole pandemic hit. Write them down, keep working and when times shift, like they always do, you can begin to put your focus on what you what to create. BIG IDEA #3 The Law of Vibration and Attraction: You Attract What You AreThe movie The Secret talks about this Law, and the book The Science of Getting Rich[viii] outlines this law, along with others, but my first introduction to these levels of vibration that Bob talks about often, was in Chapter 6 of the Born Rich book.  Bob mentions this law in our interview and also the quote from Andrew Carnegie at the top of Chapter 6, that says “Any idea that is held in the mind, that is either feared or revered will, begin at once to clothe itself in the most convenient and appropriate physical forms available.” This means that we draw to us what we think about—a person thinking positive thoughts will emanate positive energy and draw other positive personalities and situations to them, and a person with negative thoughts, will of course be in a negative vibration, or give off bad “vibes” that will repel positive personalities, drawing negativity towards them. What type of person do you want to be?  How does this work? There’s lots of different places to gain this understanding, ranging from a powerful book that I keep on my bookshelf, David Hawkin’s Power vs Force[ix] where he talks about low-energy frequency people vs high energy and the ranges of emotions that either drain us or fuel us.Our thoughts have a certain frequency, and the things that we draw to ourselves have the same frequencies as the thoughts that we have created—let’s say what’s on the same wavelength as we are. We cannot be thinking negative thoughts and be in line with positive thoughts at the same time. Since like attracts like, you will notice that when you are tuned into positive thinking, you will attract more positive things to yourself. In the interview with Bob, I asked him why we meet certain people at certain times in our careers who accelerate us? He answered “You attract them, and they attract you.” He drew Sandy Gallagher to his company when he had a need for someone who understood finances, and here was Sandy, sitting in a seminar, writing out that she really wanted to work with Bob, but it took her a bit of time until they were both in harmony with this idea. Once they were, the partnership was a success.The same goes with negative thinking. If you start off on the wrong side of the bed in the morning and do not change your thinking, you will attract more and more negative things to you as the day progresses. It can snowball either way for you, so why not let it snowball in a positive direction?Our goal is to raise our vibration level and be a positive, high vibrating person if we want to achieve our highest level of results.TIPS for RAISING YOUR LEVEL OF VIBRATION or FREQUENCY Positive thinking will help you increase your thought waves to that higher level of vibration. Just think of how great it feels when you are doing something that you enjoy, like listening to your favorite song, or enjoying the beauty of the landscape and nature around you. Practice recognizing how good you feel when you doing something that makes you happy. When you are feeling good, you are on the right track to raising your vibration, and when you are feeling bad, you are not on the right track. Do whatever it takes to stay in that good feeling, and your vibration will continue to rise.Limit your activities with people, places or situations that are on a lower level frequency. If you are operating on a higher level, you won’t be able to do this for long anyway, because it will drain your energy. Be mindful of who you are spending time with so that you can keep your level of vibration up.Spend more time with like-minded people who are positive like you. This will only allow you to keep increasing your level of vibration. Join a club or a group in which you can meet people with interests similar to yours and keep improving yourself.Be polite and mindful of others at all times. Over time and with practice, this will become a habit. If you are always thinking about ways to help others, it will be inevitable that your level of vibration will rise.Find ways that you can quiet your mind, and just spend time in this quiet to rejuvenate. Some people use meditation, and others find great benefits from yoga. Find what works best for you to relax, and then practice quieting your mind. Be open to what might happen here, as powerful thoughts can occur to you when you quiet your mind.Once you begin to increase your vibration, you will notice that your life will become more easier and more peaceful.BIG IDEA #4 Learn to Live Beyond the 5 Senses with the 6 Higher Faculties of the MindWe’ve all been raised to live through our five senses: what we see, touch, taste, hear and smell, but our 5 senses can be limiting. We can access new information, deeper flashes of insight, higher levels of creativity, if we learn to live with our 6 intellectual faculties that operate beyond our 5 senses for a competitive advantage. These intellectual faculties tap into the non-physical or spiritual world and help us to build new ideas.  How does this work?  Let’s see how we can learn to use the faculties of our mind to gain a deeper understanding, perspective or ideas.Perception is your point of view. This factor can be altered at will which means that you can always see two sides to a situation, but it takes the will and some effort to switch your way of thinking to see another side of something. Sometimes when I’m hiking, I can look at the trail when I’m going up, and the exact same spot, going down, looks completely different. What we see with our eyes can be viewed an entirely different way from someone else’s point of view, standing at a different viewpoint. PUT IT INTO ACTION: How can you use this concept to gain new ideas or perspective? If you are having a problem or disagreement with someone, try to look at the issue through their eyes to see a different point of view, not just your own.  You’ll notice with practice, this skill becomes easier, and it will open up your mind and you will become more flexible, improving your relationships with others. Reasoning is the ability to think. Having this faculty makes us different from other members of the animal kingdom; they do not have the ability to reason. In the book, The Strangest Secret[x], Nobel Prize-winner Dr. Albert Schweitzer was being interviewed and he was asked “What’s wrong with men today?” The great doctor answered, “Men simply don’t think.” Wallace D. Wattles, in his book The Science of Getting Rich[xi] agreed with this back in 1910 when he said, “There is no labor from which most people shrink as they do from that of sustained and consecutive thought; it’s the hardest work in the world.” PUT IT INTO ACTION: Use your will to stay focused when you need to think and create new ideas. Critical thinking and reasoning is an important skill that we should be teaching to our children at an early age, so they can learn to think for themselves, rather than follow the crowd. Be sure you are always challenging young children to think for themselves by letting them make decisions. Ask them questions and see what answers they come up with.  I have a 10-year-old who often thinks of new ideas or angles that I might have missed, so I’m grateful to have more thinking minds in our home. The will is the understanding that each idea has a certain pattern and with focused attention, we have the ability to concentrate on what we are thinking about and increase the amplitude (the height of the wave) or thought wave and make them very powerful. PUT IT INTO ACTION: Use the will to lock into an idea and block out all other distractions. Using the will allows you to focus your mind on the things you want and lose focus on what you don’t want. Memory is something you can develop with practice. There is no such thing as a bad memory. However, just like your muscles, if your memory is not used, it can become weak. When you do not exercise the muscles in your body, they lose strength. This is exactly what happens when you are not practicing your memory. PUT IT INTO ACTION: Treat your mind with as much care and consideration as you would your body, as they are very much connected. The more practice you give this faculty, the stronger it will become. We have heard of some research-based strategies that are known to improve your memory, such as avoiding cramming and study what you want to remember used spaced repetition, relate new information to things you already know, be sure that you are sleeping well as sleeping consolidates memories, and adding visual images to what you want to remember. Imagination is Everything[xii] according to Earl Nightingale. All great inventions are created in two separate places: the mind of the inventor and the physical world when the inventor creates it. Our lives reflect how well we use our imagination, because when we hit one plateau of success, it will be our imagination that will take us to what’s next. PUT IT INTO ACTION: Write our where you see yourself in the next 3, 5 and 10 years. If you can do this in detail it will activate cells of recognition in your brain that when you imagine what you write, eventually your brain will accept and recognize what you are telling it, and it will go from feeling like a crazy pipe dream, to eventually something that you can see yourself actually doing, since you have thought about it so often.  One day you can make what you imagined, yoru reality. Intuition is a mental tool that gives us answers, by picking up the energy or feeling from another person or situation. We can even read a person’s energy over the telephone or the internet as I experienced in EPISODE 65 with Dr. Barbara Schwarck[xiii]. Sometimes we feel we just know the answer, or we have a gut feeling. That is our intuition at work, and we must learn to develop it. With practice, we can learn to trust our intuition and become confident with that which we feel or know. Then, we can move confidently toward that which we want. PUT IT INTO ACTION: The best book I have ever read on developing intuition was called Developing Intuition from Shatki Gawain[xiv].  This was probably one of the most valuable skills I learned to help guide my personal and professional life. I never needed to ask anyone else for advice, as I had my own built in guidance system that helped me to stay in a productive state of mind. BIG IDEA #5 Spirit is Everywhere. We are all Connected, Like a Rainbow (SIP)This next idea, I put an image of what I’m describing in the show notes. When I asked Bob about the quantum world that Dr. Dan Seigel talks about, where there is this plane of possibility where we can create anything, Bob answered with “I believe the physical realm that we live in and the spiritual world, are all connected, like the colors of the rainbow.” When we take an idea, it comes in from spirit, hits our intellectual mind, and it’s up to us whether we move it into form. Have you ever had an idea that you thought was brilliant, and you never did anything with it, and then suddenly you see someone else has created it? That’s because there is only one mind, and that we can all tap into these ideas.  Think of the three levelsSpiritIntellect/MindPhysical/Body What you can see (physical world) and what you cannot see (non-physical world) are all connected.  The physical is a manifestation of the non-physical. Another way to look at this, is to think about WATER in the physical world. We can see it. We add heat to water and it turns to STEAM (intellectual level) and add more heat to it and it turns to AIR (spiritual level). Just because we have changed the state of water from its physical form to AIR in the spiritual level, it doesn’t mean that the water doesn’t exist. It exists and when cooled down and goes right back to water.So, what we see in the physical world and what we cannot see, are all connected.Since spirit is for fuller expression and expansion, ideas (like I want to write a book) come in through the spiritual level and are looking to be expressed (from a higher to a lower potential). Think of when you ask for help from God through prayer, you are in the physical realm, reaching the spiritual realm with your thoughts for help or ideas. Ideas that come to your mind (your intellect) from the spiritual realm and it’s up to you if you will bring them to physical form. This is called the Creative Process.PUT THIS INTO PRACTICE: THE CREATIVE PROCESSDo you pray? Do you meditate? Do you believe in a higher power, or something bigger than yourself?  If you do, you will find this process fascinating, it you learn to use your FAITH through understanding. You will get new insights, and ideas through this practice that will keep you busy. Write out what comes to your mind here and see if the ideas match what you really want to BE/DO or HAVE or CREATE.  When you get an idea that’s congruent to what you want, you will want to take action with this idea. BIG IDEA #6 Thomas Troward- Fuller Expression, Increasing Life Always Aim for Bigger and Better Things There really are no limits to the heights that we all can reach and a reminder that it’s not what you’ve got that’s important, it’s who we become in the process of reaching our goals.“Nothing is impossible to the mind.All its guidance and power are available to you.When you have fully realized that THOUGHT CAUSES ALL,You will know that there are no limitsThat you yourself do not impose.” –US Andersen, author of The Magic in Your MindThomas Troward: Dore Lectures on Mental ScienceRight now if you ask Bob Proctor what he’s studying, he’d say he’s reading Troward’s The Dore and Edinburgh Lectures on Mental Science[xv] and I’ve had this book and a couple of others from Thomas Troward in my Kindle iPhone library for the past 6 years and haven’t read them. I just looked through them and saw a section on Intuition, healing, the will, the body, soul and spirit—everything that we talked about in these 6 BIG IDEAS except healing. I can see why he would be reading this book, sharpening his higher faculties, deepening his connection with spirit and doing all that he can to deliver his message to help as many people as he can. Bob always read a section of Troward’s Dore Lectures on Mental Science in the Science of Getting Rich Seminar. One day, while he was running a seminar, I asked him if I could read the passage from the stage, because I was just dying to practice my public speaking and had memorized the quote. So, I read this by memory, and if there’s any passage of information I recommend anyone memorize, it’s this one. “My mind is a center of Divine operation. The Divine operation is always for expansion and fuller expression and this means the production of something beyond what has gone before, something entirely new, not included in past experience, though proceeding out of it by an orderly sequence of growth. Therefore, since the Divine cannot change its inherent nature, it must operate in the same manner in me; consequently in my special world, of which I am the center, it will move forward to produce new conditions, always in advance of any that have gone before.”What does this mean? It means that my mind/your mind is a center (there’s more than one center) but we are all connected, and there are no limits. If I was to stop there, I think that’s enough to motivate any of us to reach higher than we might have reached in the past. We are Limitless.This Divine operation is always expanding (there’s as much power above it as below it) and this means the production of something that has gone before, something entirely new, not included in past experience, through proceeding out of it, in an orderly sequence of growth. This means that what you are capable of will not be a repeat performance of something you have done before, although your past experience prepares you, but it will move you BEYOND where you have ever been, to GROW and EXPAND in an orderly way.Therefore, since the Divine cannot change its inherent nature, it must operate in the same manner in me; (so trust in the way your life unfolds—it’s all going the way it’s supposed to go) consequently in my special world, of which I am the center, it will move forward to produce new conditions, always in advance of any that have gone before. Meaning that when we keep working diligently towards our goals in life, we will keep producing NEW results that go beyond where you were before. We are always expanding and growing when we are taking action—so keep aiming for bigger and better things, and never stop learning/growing. REVIEW OF THE 6 BIG IDEAS:BIG IDEA #1 Paradigms: Something is Holding You Back. When You Become Aware of it, You Can Move Forward. Take some time to figure out what paradigms are holding you back, and start to work on changing just one paradigm at a time. This will require some work, as the paradigm is ingrained in your non-conscious mind, but with time, one day, you will look back and notice the growth that occurred because you took the time and put in the effort to make this change.BIG IDEA #2 Prosperity Thinking: The More We Give, The More We Stretch our Minds to Receive and Keep Giving More. Where is your thinking right now? I know that these are difficult times, but if you notice your mind leaning towards lack and limitation instead of abundant thinking, it’s time to take immediate action. Go somewhere where you feel energized and begin to work on changing your thinking. Volunteering or helping others can also help shift your mindset here, as you begin to see that your situation is much better than many other people in the world, and this can help shift your mindset.BIG IDEA #3 The Law of Vibration and Attraction: You Attract What You Are. If you have had trouble achieving your goals, this is the first place I would look. Do you know yourself well enough to know whether you are operating at a high or low frequency? When you are feeling good, and life is flowing, you are definitely on the right track. If things are difficult, and you feel unhappy, something needs to change, and the change starts with changing your energy or frequency by thinking new thoughts, that will stimulate new feelings and motivate you to take new actions, that in turn will change your conditions, circumstances and environment. The change begins with you.BIG IDEA #4 Learn to Live Beyond the 5 Senses with the 6 Higher Faculties of the Mind. You don’t need to master all 6 of these at once, but if you just picked ONE to work on and sharpen for the next year, you will notice the results in your life change. Pick one factor, and really dive deep into studying it in your spare time. Writing this episode has been a powerful review for me as well. I’m always working on improving my intuition, because I think it’s just fun to see how often you can guess something ahead of time, but I also see the importance of working on some of the other faculties, like the imagination, which is a key ingredient for creating something new. This is where inventors of the past went to figure out how to make the airplane take flight, where the iPhone was created and where the inventions of the future will come from. Also, just a reminder to not let what we see (with our senses-which are limiting) going on in the world limit or control us. We can’t change it, but we can keep studying, learning and growing, so that we change and improve ourselves when times are difficult. BIG IDEA #5 Spirit is Everywhere. We are all Connected, Like a Rainbow. This idea has come up with Dr. Daniel Siegel’s work where he talks about the fact that quantum physics proves that there are 2 realms: one where we operate through our senses, and the other, the plane of possibility that is timeless. We could spend a considerable amount of time thinking about this idea, but I’m just going to trust that my understanding will continue to grow here as I continue a daily meditation, prayer, and gratitude practice. The faith that comes from this practice is based on understanding and when new ideas come, I know it’s important to act on these ideas and do the work with the talents and skills that God has given me. Each of us will have our own meaning with this idea, based on our individual beliefs. Whatever you believe, find the practice that works for you to feel this connection.  BIG IDEA #6 Thomas Troward:  Life is for Fuller Expression, Increasing Life Always Aim for Bigger and Better Things. Keep studying, learning, growing and reach for more in life. You won’t be able to do this alone, so be sure that you find mentors to help you reach your new levels of achievement. Just keep learning, increasing your awareness, and growing. And answer the question “What do you REALLY want?” There is great opportunity for the person who understands themselves. I hope that you have found these ideas as powerful as I have. Remember, these are just a few of the most powerful concepts I learned from working 6 years directly with Bob Proctor, attending his seminars live, and then continuing to study and apply these ideas.  These concepts do take time before the results become apparent, but if you really want something, you will do the work and one day, you will look back, and realize that you have achieved the goals you’ve always wanted, so that you can then help others do the same.If you found this episode helpful, please share it on social media, and tag me. I would love to hear your take-aways of what you liked or learned. Until next episode, have a great week. See you next time.REFERENCES:[i] Neuroscience Meets SEL Podcast Episode #66 with Bob Proctor on “Social and Emotional Learning: Where it All Started.” June 3, 2020 https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/the-legendary-bob-proctor-on/ [ii] Tips and Tools Go to Download a FREE Copy of You Were Born Rich https://www.proctorgallagherinstitute.com/tips-and-tools[iii] Neuroscience Meets SEL Podcast Episode #44 with Andrea Samadi on “12 Mind-Boggling Facts About the Brain” https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/andrea-samadis-12-mind-boggling-discoveries-about-the-brain/ [iv] Paradigm Shift Seminar https://www.proctorgallagherinstitute.com/events/paradigm-shift?utm_source=1-Events-Page&utm_medium=1-PG.I-Site&utm_campaign=PS-Event[v] Neuroscience Meets SEL EPISODE 2 “Self-Awareness: Know Thyself” https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/self-awareness-know-thyself/ [vi] Mark Robert Waldman and Chris Manning Neurowisdom: The New Brain Science of Money, Happiness and Success page 13 (January, 2017) https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01N9BLBDH/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i3 [vii] Mark Cuban on Tips for Small and Large Businesses on Navigating Today’s World https://www.linkedin.com/video/live/urn:li:ugcPost:6650799192853753856/ [viii] The Science of Getting Rich Seminar based on the book by Wallace D Wattles https://www.proctorgallagherinstitute.com/programs/science-of-getting-rich?utm_source=Programs%20Page&utm_medium=PGI%20Site&utm_campaign=SGR[ix] David Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D Power vs Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior https://www.amazon.com/Power-Force-David-Hawkins-M-D/dp/1401945074 [x] The Strangest Secret by Earl Nightingale (2005) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1640951083/ref=sspa_dk_detail_0?psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyM0RHNzJCT1I3QTA4JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNzg3NzMzMU9ETzhJWUU2MU82RyZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwMDA2NjYwMTBWMldKMzdVRlZVOCZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2RldGFpbCZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU= [xi] The Science of Getting Rich Seminar based on the book by Wallace D Wattles https://www.proctorgallagherinstitute.com/programs/science-of-getting-rich?utm_source=Programs%20Page&utm_medium=PGI%20Site&utm_campaign=SGR[xii] Imagination is Everything YouTube by Earl Nightingale https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e25hRhKPm4M [xiii] Neuroscience Meets SEL EPISODE 65 Dr. Barbara Schwarck on “Using Energy Psychology and Emotional Intelligence to Improve Leadership in the Workplace” https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/dr-barbara-schwarck-on-using-energy-psychology-and-emotional-intelligence-to-improve-leadership-in-the-workplace/ [xiv] Developing Intuition by Shakti Gawain (March 30, 2010)  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000054737/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 [xv] Thomas Troward The Dore and Edinbugh Lectures on Mental Science https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0036FTEX0/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i0 

Visit stuschaefer.com for complete show notes of every podcast episode: Leave us a rating and review! Dr. Dan Seigel is a NY Times Bestselling Author, Neuropsychiatrist, Mindsight Educator and Interpersonal Neurobiologist. He is an expert at helping people like me and you change our mindset and develop our mental acuity. He works extensively with parents and children… and he simplifies often complex subject and teaches people how to “heal” themselves without having to go to a psychiatrist (who often won’t actually help much.)

Integrative health communities, views from an Elder. Former NHS nurse now an ‘elder’ of the holistic community, Sue Cooper is passionate about meditation, mindfulness, ayurvedic medicine and creating an integrative care community. Sue talks about how she went from burn-out and having panic attacks to the art of living well and her bedrock, meditation. She became a student of Deepak Chopra and travelled far and wide to understand different types of indigenous cultures and the healing modalities they use. Sue is the person behind a Mass Meditation project around the UK in May 2019. For more information check out her website: http://selfcareworld.org She also mentions: The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra Elaine Griffiths & the staff at Gorton Monastery in Manchester https://www.themonastery.co.uk/ Dan Seigel https://www.drdansiegel.com/   The Gathering of the Graceful Warriors by Alison Knox (everydayangelsart.com)  

Ep 46 TRS -   “Axis II Cluster B: Dealing with Difficult People Made Easier” with guests Dr. Shirley Imprezzelli and Kellee White, LMFT & spiritual medium   "He's Axis II Cluster B!" Can dealing with difficult people be made any easier? How do we manage relationships with Narcissists, Borderlines, Histrionics, and Psycho or Sociopaths? Jenni and Wendy explore these questions in the contexts of trauma, families, and the spiritual realm with guests Dr. Shirley Imprezzelli and Kellee White, LMFT - psychotherapists and cohosts of the podcast Both Sides Now."   TRS email:  RelationshipShowLA@gmail.com   © Jenni J.V. Wilson 2018   **WARNING - Note the “E” for explicit content. **     Wendy O'Connor, LMFT, PsyD   web: www.DoctorWendyOConnor.com   e:  DrWendyOConnor@gmail.com   fb: www.facebook.com/askdrwendy   tw: @askDrWendy   intsta: IamDrWendy   ph: 310/712-1230     Jenni J.V. Wilson, LMFT   web: www.JenniJVWilson.com   e:  JenniferJVWilson@gmail.com   fb: www.facebook.com/JenniJVWilson   tw: @JenniJVWilson   insta: ThePreppyRebel     TRS GUEST -    Guest:     Dr. Shirley Imprezzelli Fb: www.facebook.com/DrShirleyI Tw: @DrShirleyI Web:  DrShirley.com Podcast: BothSidesNowTV.com       Kellee White, LMFT Fb: www.facebook.com/TheBeverlyHillsMedium Tw: @White_Kellee Web:  KelleeWhite.com   Podcast: BothSidesNowTV.com   Facebook Live Wednesdays at 4pm       SHOW MENTIONS & Resources -   James Van Praagh - vanpraagh.com Peter Levine - Somatic Therapy - https://traumahealing.org/ Dan Seigel - https://www.drdansiegel.com/ Dr. Stan Tatkin - PACT - https://stantatkin.com/ Paul Eckman on lying - https://www.paulekman.com/facial-expressions/signs-of-lying/   Books:  Sanaya Roman - "Living with Joy”     Laurie Kimartin - "Dead People Suck" Jerold J. Kreisman, et al. - "I Hate You Don't Leave Me”    Martha Stout - “The Sociopath Next Door"   February Esalen Peter Levine        MUSIC CUES -   Portrait - “In Another World" Holly Cole - “You've Got A Secret" Barry Manilow - “Mandy”  Madonna - “Borderline” Joni Mitchell- “Borderline” Carly Simon - You're So Vain   * As always, special thanks to Robert Bailey - voice of Dr. Wendy's Dream Journal*   ***Crisis Text line:  741741***  ***National Suicide Hotline:  800/273-8255 ***  LGBTQ crisis/suicide 24/7 hotline - 866/488-7386 Teen Line LA -  310/855-4673, text TEEN to 839863

In this episode, we're talking to Dan Seigel, who is so impressive. He is a psychiatrist, a speaker, the author of numerous books, the Director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA, and Executive Director of the Mindsight Institute. He's actually with us now because we heard him speak, and said “oh my gosh, we need him on our podcast.” So we waited after his talk and ambushed him to ask. We can't wait for you to hear his description of the mind, mindfulness, and meditation as “mind training,” particularly his practice of “the wheel.” Don't worry, you'll learn what that means. But the idea that the mind is a verb, not a noun, is so astonishing, and opens up so avenues for discussion and understanding that I know you'll walk away from this episode completely blown away. This podcast was sponsored by Aetna. Learn how Aetna is working to build a healthier world by visiting www.aetnastory.com

In this episode, we’re talking to Dan Seigel, who is so impressive. He is a psychiatrist, a speaker, the author of numerous books, the Director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA, and Executive Director of the Mindsight Institute. He’s actually with us now because we heard him speak, and said “oh my gosh, we need him on our podcast.” So we waited after his talk and ambushed him to ask. We can’t wait for you to hear his description of the mind, mindfulness, and meditation as “mind training,” particularly his practice of “the wheel.” Don’t worry, you’ll learn what that means. But the idea that the mind is a verb, not a noun, is so astonishing, and opens up so avenues for discussion and understanding that I know you’ll walk away from this episode completely blown away. This podcast was sponsored by Aetna. Learn how Aetna is working to build a healthier world by visiting www.aetnastory.com

Last week, I took my two older kids to a birthday party at a laser tag place. My oldest, who is usually super friendly and bubbly, was terrified. It was rough because she was SO excited about this party and was looking forward to it all week! I can see why she was so scared. The place was noisy and flashy, and other than the birthday girl, and her brother, she didn't recognize anyone else. The birthday girl’s mom had not arrived at the party yet, and her dad, whom we had never met, was the one running the show. He was very busy so I didn’t get a chance to meet him before my daughter burst into tears. It was kind of alarming since she had been so excited to come. She told me it was very different than what she had expected. I waited with her for a little while. I didn’t want her to miss out on this because I knew she would seriously regret it. As much as she was upset now, I knew she would be even more upset if she passed. Especially if her brother still went, and came back with a happy report. I knew I needed to find the adult in charge and make myself known to them. I went up to the birthday girl’s dad and asked if he was indeed her dad. I shook his hand and pointed out my kids. I tried to connect with him over the noise and convey to him the fact that my daughter was kind of upset, but he was too busy. My daughter calmed down enough for me to leave her there which was a relief.  I knew she was going to have so much fun! When I came back to pick her up, I was so relieved to find out that she had indeed had a blast! Then she told me the story of how it happened. She was super nervous at first. It was such a new experience. During the first round of laser tag, she was still pretty apprehensive. But then, during the second round, a guest’s mom was there and told my daughter she would help her and they would play together. She got over her fear, and learned to play laser tag. In the book "Hold on to your kids", by Gordon Neufeld, I learned exactly what had happened in this situation, one reason my daughter had been so scared, and why the mom at the party was so important. Our children need to receive their orientation about the world from trusted adults. Ideally those adults are their parents, but sometimes, many times, that is not possible. They are often gone all day at school. We are gone all day at work. But, kids need a trusted adult to mentor them because the alternative is peer orientation which is like the blind leading the blind. I won’t go into detail about that here, you’ll have to read the book. So how can we keep our kids oriented to a trusted adult: 1. When you have to separate, transfer their orientation to an adult you trust. This is why I knew I needed to meet the birthday girl’s dad. If her mom had been there, the trust has already been established, so my daughter would have had an easier time transitioning. I do this a lot with my toddlers when they need to go to nursery at church. I talk to the teachers and smile at them. I might touch their shoulder and show my child that I trust this person and that I know they will take good care of them. I introduce my child to the adult and let them get to know them. This would work with any situation where you need to drop off your child. Meet their teachers. Talk with them. Let your child see that there is an adult they can trust and look to for direction, protection, and guidance. 2. When you need to separate for a long time, like going away for a trip, call them each day, FaceTime would be even better. Send them notes. My husband and I are going on a trip, and we are going to leave their sitter with videos of us talking to them and telling them stories about them. Do the kinds of things that let them know that even though you’re apart, you still care, and you’re still thinking about them. http://www.drdansiegel.com (Dr. Dan Seigel) has said that our children need to feel seen, soothed, safe, and secure. These feelings create integration and resilience. They

We often have to learn to ask for what we need before others can help us. Fiona Francis has three young children, and went through big transitions with the arrival of each of her children. She shares tips on nurturing your creativity, asking for help, and some really interesting books and resources. In today’s conversation we talk about: Serotonin leaking activities – blame shame and guilt Serotonin building activities – eating well, exercising, sleep The fact that having kids makes us questions what’s meaningful, and what we want to spend our lives doing. Annabel Crabb’s, The Wife Drought, discusses that your career is more than ‘just right now’; stay in it for the long haul, But it can be difficult to think beyond the pure immediate financial argument The primary carer is often the mother, who sacrifices career progression to support the family “Following the clues” to see where listening to your intuition will lead you Sunday night dread is a sign from our bodies that our lives are not ok Flexible work policies require buy-in from management to be successfully implemented, and we also need flexibility for husbands and men at work to alleviate the burden Lighting herself up, through exercise, study, creative endeavours Practical tips for easing the juggle Sunday night weekly planning Meal planning and shopping Coordinating schedules and negotiating activites Looking at goals and intentions, and all the activities that fall beneath those intentions Habits tracking Asking for what you want Often involves a period of adjustment as your partner gets on board Put the responsibility for solutions back onto your partner – don’t take on the entire mental load yourself Express your needs early enough that they don’t become resentments You have permission to ask for what you want Mindfulness practice It doesn’t matter if it’s not the same time of day every day A series of resources listed below Resources PANDA – Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia Big Magic, by Elizabeth Gilbert Brene Brown The Wife Drought, by Annabel Crabb Wild, by Cheryl Strayed Tara Brach’s RAIN meditation Dan Seigel’s Wheel of Awareness meditation Fiona’s Heartful Moment Instagram account

Welcome! Today we’re discussing Perfectionism, Worthiness, and Self-Compassion. I’m using a personal example from my own experience as the basis for our discussion. Join me! What you’ll hear in this episode: The “growth ceiling” can cause anxiety as we exceed our expectations. As an example of a “growth ceiling,” I never imagined having a thriving full-time practice where I love going to work and serving my clients, or having a podcast, or interviewing prominent guests. Brene’ Brown refers to this as “foreboding joy,” the dread that “good things just can’t happen for me.” The solution to these attitudes is to stay in the moment and to realize that no one is more worthy of good things than another. Kristin Neff identifies Three Elements of Self-Compassion: Self-Kindness Common Humanity Mindfulness Scarcity—What does it mean to operate from this focus? My personal example is when I was overjoyed to interview Dr. Dan Seigel for the podcast. Listen in to hear the disastrous story of my recording attempt! I normally would have felt like a failure and gone into a shame spiral, but instead, I was able to think, “How lucky I am to have had that beautiful conversation with Dr. Seigel!” My Self-Compassion practice has allowed me to have this incredibly different attitude and retain my sense of worthiness. I had to contact Dr. Seigel and request to re-record the conversation, which will be a soon upcoming episode. Self-Compassion has truly changed my life. “I’m human. Stuff happens. We recover, and it’s OK.” Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Dr. Kristin Neff You may want to become part of my Trauma Therapist Community, where therapists will share collective wisdom and strategies. Sign up at laurareaganlcswc.com.