Podcasts about new life ministries

Interview with Pastor Jefferson of Bethel New Life Ministries

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui discusses what to do when someone you know is suicidal. My 21-year-old nephew is an atheist, uses substances to drown his sorrows, and has put his hands on his mother more than once. We lost a sibling to suicide, so that might be why my sister is overprotective. The hosts discuss why betrayed women are reluctant to get help for themselves. How do I love and support my 22-year-old daughter without supporting the lesbian lifestyle? My daughter is in a lesbian relationship, and we are Christians who want to love and support her while staying true to our beliefs. New Life Live — Program Transcript Air Date: September 10 Hosts: Brian Perez, Dr. Alice Benton (Clinical Psychologist), and Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist), with a visit from New Life President Becky Brown Welcome to New Life Live, the premier place to receive free advice from Christian psychologists and counselors for the mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual challenges you face. Since 1988, we’ve offered compassionate responses that combine God’s truth with proven psychological principles to guide you toward healing. Our phone lines are open. Call us now at 1-800-229-3000. Opening: A Conversation About Suicide Awareness Brian Perez: Hey, welcome to New Life Live. Thank you so much for joining us today. My name is Brian Perez. I’m here with clinical psychologist Dr. Alice Benton and licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris. Ladies, it is so good to be here with you today. Jacqui, what’s on your mind to start us off? Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Well, with it being Suicide Awareness Day, I have been thinking about how important suicide conversations are and how difficult they are. You know, sometimes we notice that somebody’s not themselves and maybe they’re withdrawing or talking about being too much of a burden, saying people would be better off without them. Maybe they’ve started to seem hopeless or wanting to get rid of things, and we start to worry about their safety. But then we become afraid ourselves, and in our fear we don’t ask the question. I’ve found amongst my friends and family and even clients that people are often surprised when I very directly say, “Are you thinking about ending your life? Are you thinking about suicide? Are you thinking about harming yourself? Are you thinking about harming someone else?” And it’s because we don’t want to make people feel bad. So out of our own fear, we don’t do the very thing someone needs. I have heard people say, “Well, I don’t want to cause them to do that,” or “I don’t want to put it on their mind if it’s not already on their mind.” But asking someone directly about suicide doesn’t put the idea in their head. It actually lets them know that you see them, you care about them, that they matter, and that you’re willing to hear what they have to say. And as Christians, sometimes I think we feel pressured to immediately give a scripture, or “I’ll pray for you,” or tell people, “God has a plan.” And yes, those things are true and they can be meaningful, but it’s often not the right answer. Often people just simply need you to be willing to stay. They need to know that they matter enough that even though they are in pain, and their pain hurts you, you will sit with them — that they do matter. So listen. Don’t judge. Don’t minimize their pain — “Oh, it’s fine, we all go through things like that,” or “That happened a long time ago, you should be over that by now.” Don’t try to fix everything in the moment. Sometimes people just need to sit in what hurts, and that is okay. Help them connect to someone who can provide support. Help them connect to New Life. Help them connect to a counselor. Help them find a Life Recovery Group so that they can be around other people who can help them see their own value. Suicide prevention doesn’t always begin with having great words or the perfect words. Sometimes it’s just noticing that someone is struggling and being willing to stay. Dr. Alice Benton: I find that those who are suffering usually want to be asked and wish people would ask them. And you don’t have to be a therapist to ask. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers. Because if your loved one says, “Yes, I want to hurt myself, I do want to die,” then it can be as simple as calling us at New Life. It can be as simple as calling the suicide prevention hotline, 988. I’ve called 988 in order to get a sense of what happens when someone calls. I found that the person who answered was well equipped, so kind, and very patient. They know what to do. We know what to do. All you have to do, if your loved one says they want to hurt themselves, is reach out for help from professionals, and we’ll walk you through what to do next. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: And I think sharing that also with our kids. I had a conversation with someone whose child came home and said their friend told them that they’d been wanting to hurt themselves, and the kid didn’t know what to do. So we were able to say, “Walk them to the nurse’s office, walk them to the principal’s office, walk them to an adult, and stay with them and have that conversation.” It’s a conversation my family also has from time to time, knowing that the increase in suicidal ideation is so strong today. Our kids need to be equipped. Dr. Alice Benton: They do. They’re out in the world, and people say mean things, and so we need to tell them that their life matters and that they can talk to us about anything. Brian Perez: Yep. We’ll be right back on New Life Live. Gigi, you’ll be our first call, so hang on. Resources Mentioned Brian Perez: Since we were just on the topic of suicide, I want to let you know about a couple of articles that we have available on our website, newlife.com. One of them is called “What to Do When Someone Is Suicidal.” It probably has the information that Jacqui just gave, maybe some extra stuff as well. So check that out at newlife.com. We also have a tip sheet. If you yourself have that suicidal thinking, it’s called “Eight Steps to Breaking Free from Suicidal Thinking.” We can send you that tip sheet when you call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. Or, you know what, just order that tip sheet anyway. Have it handy just in case something happens and you wind up having a conversation with someone. Again, that one’s called “Eight Steps to Breaking Free from Suicidal Thinking.” Call us to get it. And if you’re watching on Facebook or YouTube, we’ll put that information in the show notes there. Caller: Gigi from Orlando, Florida Brian Perez: Let’s go to the phones now. Here is Gigi, who listens to us on newlife.com in Orlando, Florida. Hey there, Gigi. Welcome to New Life Live. Gigi: Thank you. Brian Perez: How can we help you today? Gigi: This topic is kind of multifaceted, but it comes down to things like boundaries. I’m an aunt watching my sister deal with my nephew and the havoc that he’s wreaking on my sister’s marriage, and it’s just hard to watch. He’s 21. We’re a Christian family. He was brought up to know the Lord, and he’s saying that he’s an atheist. And he’s so bitter against all of us, his parents. He’s using substances to drown his sorrows. And it could be worse — I don’t want it to be worse — but he’s had trouble controlling his emotions and anger and has put his hands on his mother more than once, but not recently. And she still is in denial. She’ll tell me one thing and then deny it the next, because it’s hard. She doesn’t want the family to be prejudiced against him. But it’s too late now. We don’t feel safe. And it’s just hard. Dr. Alice Benton: Can I pause you for a minute? She doesn’t want the family to be prejudiced against him — so she doesn’t want the family to react negatively to his behavior and kind of not want him around. Is that what you’re saying? Gigi: Yes, that’s correct. Dr. Alice Benton: And he doesn’t want to be around you guys either, right? Gigi: Yeah, he’s decided he’s atheist, and so, yes. Dr. Alice Benton: You said he put hands on his mother more than once. Were there any consequences for that? Gigi: Yes. The police came. He had to be bailed out of jail. They hired an attorney. It could have been worse. It was him struggling against the police that actually got him in trouble, and the fact that she had called because she was scared. So she blames herself for that, because he won’t let that go. He’s 21. This has happened over the course of a few years that he’s just drowned in sorrow and blaming. Dr. Alice Benton: And Gigi, he still lives with her. Is that right? Gigi: Yes. Dr. Alice Benton: And you said her husband — is her husband his father? Gigi: Oh yes, yes. Dr. Alice Benton: So is he that way with his father as well? Gigi: His father loves him, but he doesn’t have his son’s respect, and his son doesn’t trust his dad — and I think it’s both ways. I think my sister is his soul. She’s the person he’s latched onto for life. And with torture or love, he does something bad and then apologizes. Dr. Alice Benton: Gigi, you’re so right to be worried about her, because she loves him, but she’s also trying to protect him from the righteous consequences of his behavior, and it’s just a setup for him to repeat it. Tell us, do you know if he experienced a major loss or trauma that might have led to him being so embittered? Gigi: My sister would say that it is because they took him across country when he was in high school, because of a job for his dad. And while they were there, he was sad and lonely — first time in high school. A young lady broke his heart and said many awful things, and he has low self-image issues. But he’ll drag everything up. It’s amazing the memory we have when we are wanting to be bitter and resentful. He blame-shifts a lot onto them. Dr. Alice Benton: Blame-shifting is very — Gigi: Yes, I didn’t know that phrase. Dr. Alice Benton: And it’s understandable that he’s hurt by these things, but of course none of it justifies his substance use and his aggressive behavior towards his mom. And she is not willing to allow the consequences for him. But she does want you to be a listening ear, which puts you in a tough position, because you probably want to intervene and she won’t allow you to. Is that right? Gigi: Yes. It’s amazing how quickly our brains go from one thing to another. I will be wanting to encourage her, and then I have to stand up for logic, and then we pray together, and it’s so emotional all the time. I have other siblings, and they don’t want to hear it anymore, and it makes her feel so bad. And she can’t help but want to call us bad names. Dr. Alice Benton: Oh, she’s calling you all bad names. Gigi: Oh yes, yes, yes. Dr. Alice Benton: So she’s verbally abusive to you, even though you’re her listener? Gigi: Yes, because we are not living up to her needs and expectations. So the son might have gotten it honestly. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Well, I — Gigi: Yes, but I know my whole sister. You know what I mean? I know — Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: You know what you see when you’re with her? I’m going to stop you there, because we have a tendency to say we know, but oftentimes we are in relationship with people in our imaginations, not the reality of how they live their life every day, because we’re not there. So we think we know — “My sister would do this,” or “My sister’s this way or that way.” But look at her life and the life circumstance that she’s in. The sister you were about to describe, that you know, wouldn’t be living in this life circumstance. So she has a part of her that isn’t the her you guys know. It is also maybe not the parent you’ve always seen. Dr. Alice Benton: Dr. Jacqui was asking about any events that maybe had happened in his life. That move happened when he was in high school. He maybe felt like he had no say in it. They moved him. He lost friends. Loneliness. She is his person. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: “You’ve got your family. That’s enough. That’s all you need, right?” Well, if she is his person, I wonder what things had been like before he turned 21. What was it like when he was five? What were the responses when he was seven? What were the responses when he was 12? What happened when he got an F? What happened when he lost the game? Because if she’s willing to mistreat you all like that, it is so likely she responds to him in reactivity and anger, too. Dr. Alice Benton: And they’re back and forth in their reactivity, and then he’s now a man and he’s getting bigger, and so it’s starting to look different. And the family doesn’t enjoy being around him. Have you guys — when he was younger — did you enjoy being together as a family with your sister and her husband and your nephew? Gigi: Well, my sister saved him. He was always bailed out. He had two older sisters, so he was always saying, “I’ll have what she’s having,” and “Oh, she’s going to help me with my homework,” things like that. He was given a lot of leniency because he was the baby. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: The baby. Gigi: Yeah. If he just said “Mama” enough, he was going to get his way — or get a spanking. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: So would the spanking be from Mom? Gigi: Oh yeah. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: So he had a situation that might have been a little bit disorganized, and so he couldn’t tell if he’s going to get the wrath of Mom or the coddling of Mom. Gigi: That is true. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: What was childhood like for you and your sister? Gigi: Well, I just want to touch on something else. My sister was a great mother. I know exactly what she was going through. I saw it up front. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: No judgment. We all do the best we can with what we have. But what did you guys come out of? What did you see? How were you parented? Gigi: We had parents that were Christian. We all could have been better. But I can tell you, we had a sorrowful loss in 2007. My sister — she committed suicide. There’s too much to even go into, but the point is she was an angel. She loved Jesus, and she had some mental illness that — well, we failed her in fellowship, too. I feel like we did. My sister does not want another angel. Do you know what I mean? Dr. Alice Benton: Of course. So she might overprotect her son because she doesn’t want him to commit suicide. That completely makes sense. That is it. Dr. Alice Benton: So, Gigi, I think there are two things that you have in your power to do, because so much of this is outside of your ability to really control. You might consider a family intervention, because your nephew is the obvious problem, but you’re pointing out there is brokenness in the family — and there is in all of our families. A family interventionist, and we have a couple of great people that we can recommend, would be able to help decipher who most needs the intervention. The nephew looks like the obvious one, but he may not be the only one. An intervention brings to bear truth about how the chaotic behavior is affecting the family — that’s the way your sister abuses you, but it’s also the way the nephew abuses your sister. And it offers options for healing, but their response to that is out of your control, as you well know. And so if your sister continues to be abusive to you, you may have to start protecting yourself by limiting your exposure to her. She’s getting all this free therapy from you. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Oh, I wouldn’t call it therapy. Dr. Alice Benton: Well, you’re her good listening ear. But because you’re her main listener, I think she doesn’t know she needs more help, or she’s not willing or able to go get more professional help. And you need some of that responsibility taken off of your shoulders and transferred to a professional. I have the feeling your sister’s not real willing to get help. Gigi: Well, the good news on that end — all these months that I have been harping on “You need somebody to talk to, you need somebody to tell you how to talk it over with” — she’s got a therapist. Dr. Alice Benton: Terrific. God is good. So celebrating that is right to do. But you still can limit your exposure to her. So that may be, “I’ve got five minutes to listen to you. If you get mean, if you get loud, I will hang up.” Gigi: Oh wow. Dr. Alice Benton: Or, “I’m not willing to hear about this anymore. Please take this to your therapist.” Gigi, you said “Oh wow” twice. What has come up for you? Gigi: That just breaks my heart. Wow. Dr. Alice Benton: You want to find a way to fix it without her having to suffer the consequences. In the same way, she wants to find a way to fix it for her son without him having to face the consequences. She’s not going to grow without the consequence. If you continue to subject yourself to her behavior, you are doing exactly what she is doing with her son. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: How does that land, Gigi? Gigi: She’s been there for all of us every time we needed her. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Would she tell you wonderful things about her son? It’s the same cycle. Dr. Alice Benton: And Gigi, oddly enough, removing yourself to some distance — it loves her better than just being her listener, because it will force more discomfort, which makes it more likely that she’ll receive the help she’s getting from her therapist. Brian Perez: Gigi, thanks for calling us today here on New Life Live. We know we offered you a lot of suggestions, and go back and listen to the archive so that you can find out more. New Life President Becky Brown Joins the Program Brian Perez: We are back on New Life. Brian Perez here, along with doctors Jacqui Mack-Harris and Alice Benton. And look who’s joining us — it’s New Life President Becky Brown. Hey, Becky. Becky Brown: Hello. Surprise. My heart is hurting for Gigi and her family. So many times we hear the efforts that people are putting into trying to fix the problem. And I’m so grateful that we are here for her to reach out and talk to both you, Jacqui, and Alice, with that compassionate care and insightful truth that you gave her. And you gave her next steps. The only way we can do that is because people are generous and support New Life. They’ve been either part of our 99 for the One monthly donation, or they give big gifts, because out of the abundance that God has given them, they want to give back to make sure that the hope of a new life is there. I was thinking about “Every Man’s Battle,” and we hear so many testimonies. One in particular: Nick felt dead inside. Pornography, lust, and affairs gave him temporary relief, but the emptiness always returned. And while he tried different programs, he was stuck and began to lose hope. His wife gave him an ultimatum — and we hear that a lot here. She said, “You need to go to Every Man’s Battle.” He was hesitant, but he went, and he discovered what was fueling the addiction. He had a safe, shame-free zone and godly counselors who have been on this journey. They know what it’s like to be stuck and to find that freedom in Christ. New Life has had the privilege to walk alongside so many people for close to 40 years. And we couldn’t do it unless God was moving in the hearts of you, our donors and our listeners, to be part of what God is doing through New Life. So I just wanted to come on today and encourage you: if you have not supported us yet, today’s the day. And Brian, how can they give? Brian Perez: Oh, there’s several ways, Becky. They can go online to newlife.com. They can call us at 1-800-NEW-LIFE. They can text NLM — as in New Life Ministries — to 28950. And yeah, if you want to make a big gift today, we are not going to say, “No, no, no, let’s break it up into two or three gifts.” No, no — we’ll take it, because we appreciate so much what you guys do, what the Lord lays on your heart to give toward New Life so that we can continue what we’re doing. And sometimes it’s people like our last caller, Becky, who are calling on behalf of someone else, because they see the turmoil that their family is going through, or a friend or a neighbor. They call because they’re like, “You know what, I trust you guys, you can help. Give me some tips to help my friend. Give me a tip sheet that I can give my friend, because there’s so much going on.” And there’s not too many places — I can’t even think of one — where somebody on a live program would pick up a phone call. We don’t know what you’re going to ask. We don’t know what the situation is. And we are ready to give you the next step, because we know that God is working through the ministry and through our incredible co-hosts. Becky Brown: We’ve been doing this a long time. We’ve been helping so many people, and you’re probably one of them, listener. You’ve been impacted. And so today’s the day. Thanks for letting me jump on, and let’s go back to the calls. Brian Perez: Anytime, Becky. Anytime. It’s so good to hear from Becky when she tells us these stories of listeners that she’s heard firsthand of how New Life Ministries has helped. And I remember recently, Alice, you were talking about how there were things you were going through — you didn’t even know New Life was around, and then you found New Life, and boom. Dr. Alice Benton: That’s right. Even though I grew up in the faith, and I went to college for psychology, I really hadn’t found a resource that combined those two things together. And that’s what New Life does very uniquely. It shows us how the two go hand in hand and are both necessary for our healing. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: I love that New Life exists, because I came up in a church where psychology was bad, and so the church would tell you not to see a therapist — all you need is the Bible, and your pastor. If your pastor doesn’t say it, then you shouldn’t hear it. And so it was a joy for me to find New Life and to find these professionals who have this wisdom, who are God-led, who come prayed up and ready to see what the Holy Spirit will use them to do. Over the years I’ve been able to have conversations with and meet so many people who love New Life, who call in and who listen regularly. It’s a gift to our community, and we really appreciate that people continue to give so that we can continue to serve. Dr. Alice Benton: And it’s not just about listening and receiving the wisdom, but about putting it into practice, especially with the New Life family that believes in these principles together, knows they’re broken, and wants to heal and is actively taking those steps. Because wisdom alone, information alone, is not enough. It needs to be practiced with other people. That’s that iron that sharpens iron. And I’ve never found better iron than at New Life. Brian Perez: Those formative years for me too were also, you know, no psychology — just whatever your pastor says, that’s all you need. Psychology was just man’s wisdom instead of God’s wisdom. Well, here at New Life, we combine these things, and we put God’s word first in front of everything that we do, because that’s what it’s all about. We’re not here to just tell you what we think — we search the scriptures and we give you godly advice, and we want to keep doing it. So if you can help us today, go to newlife.com, or call 1-800-NEW-LIFE, or text NLM to 28950. Thank you for your generosity. Email Question: Debbie Brian Perez: So we have several ways that you can ask your question. Our favorite way is when you call into the studio when we’re here taking calls, and you can find out more about that on our website, newlife.com/radio, which shows our recording schedule. It also gives you a phone number where you can leave a voicemail. And there’s also a form that you can fill out so that you can send us an email with your question. That is what Debbie did. Debbie asks, “How do I love and support my 22-year-old daughter without giving support to the lesbian lifestyle?” Debbie says her daughter is in a lesbian relationship. She’s never exhibited this tendency before. She’s not had any boyfriends, but she’s wanted one desperately. They’re Christian; she’s been raised in the church. She thinks God is okay with her lifestyle. “So how do I love and support her?” What do you guys say to Debbie? Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: I say love her and support her as the person. That’s hard, though, I think, for Debbie to be able to do, because Debbie’s not able to separate out her daughter’s relational activity from the person that she is. What I would wonder is: what has your relationship with her been like? What does love look like? What does it mean to love someone? I would go to scripture and look at what scripture says about love, and see if those are thoughts, tenets, behaviors, ways of being that you find in your relationship with your daughter. And then this is something I ask people regularly: how is that other person’s sex life affecting you? I think as Christians, we spend an enormous amount of time concerned about other people’s sexual health and sex life, and I just don’t see God being nearly as concerned about everybody else’s sex life as we are. I think we as Christians have made that a focal point, and we are doing a disservice. We are not introducing people to Jesus. We’re introducing people to rules and propriety, and Jesus came to set us free. Either we are free in Christ or we are not. And if I help someone know Jesus — I’ve introduced them to Jesus, I’ve walked through the Roman Road with them, they’ve accepted Christ and they know Jesus — the rest is not my business. I trust the Holy Spirit to do what he’s going to do. And if they end up in a homosexual relationship, drug-addicted, in a violent abusive relationship, anything — that is between them and God at that point. All God has called me to do is love God with all my heart, soul, and mind, and to love others as I love myself. So I think as Christians, we have to check ourselves. We are the ones falling out of line. I don’t have anything to do with your marriage — whether you are in a same-sex marriage or a gendered marriage, I have nothing to do with that. What God has called me to do is to help you know Jesus. And if I’ve done that, then I know I’ve done my work, and I trust the Holy Spirit to handle anything that God’s not pleased with. Dr. Alice Benton: Debbie, your question must have a lot of fear and pain to it, and I know I would feel similarly if I were in your shoes. We’re getting this question more and more frequently from other parents who wonder, “Why did my good Christian upbringing not seem to stick in this area of my child’s life?” — especially when your daughter sounds like she expressed a desire for a boyfriend for a long time. What a shock that she then introduces you to her girlfriend. I think you will not like some of the things that I have to say, because getting to know her partner is a way to love her and to love the partner. But I think that might not feel right to you to do. I think you can be a Christian influence in both of their lives more by your actions than by your words of opposition. There could be a tendency towards judgmentalism out of your fear — and I would have that same tendency in your shoes. And you might possibly be wondering, “Did I fail my daughter? What did I do wrong that this is a choice she has made?” So I want you to be really careful about judgmentalism coming out. I also think we are called to warn other believers when we see that there is sin behavior, or to warn those who are stumbling toward the edge. So I think it’s a parental obligation to say — once, with a whole lot of love and kindness and humility — “I am an imperfect parent, and I also need to point something out, because I love you so much. I am confused that you’re both a Christian and you’re choosing a homosexual relationship. What’s your understanding of what the Bible has to say about that? I really want to understand your perspective as a Christian.” Be more of a listener, Debbie, than a speaker. But once, it’s important to conclude with, “I disagree with you. I think this part of your relationship is out of alignment with God’s will, and I need to point that out because I love you and I don’t want you to have unnecessary suffering in your life. All the times I’ve been out of alignment with God’s will — my lying, my extramarital emotional affair, my excessive alcohol use — I was out of alignment with his will, and it brought suffering on me too. So I’m going to keep loving you, I’m going to keep praying for you, and I thank you that you heard this conversation from me.” That’s what I would have you share with your daughter. There’s a great book called Embodied by Preston Sprinkle. He’s a clinician who has specialized in this very thing: What do we do with both Christianity and same-sex desire, and how do we love well? And we do it a lot more with behavior than with words. Brian Perez: Isn’t loving and supporting the partner — Debbie was asking about her daughter, and you both gave great advice, but when we bring the partner into it, doesn’t it seem like we’re condoning the behavior? We’ve got the holidays coming up. People are going to probably start calling soon: “Do I invite them to Thanksgiving dinner? Do I invite them to our Christmas celebration?” Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Well, I think, like Alice said, this is an opportunity for your witness. And it honestly doesn’t matter if you agree with the lifestyle or not. You’ve said you don’t agree — so in that, you have said, “This isn’t something I think is okay. I love you, but I’m concerned for you. I’m concerned for how this will impact your life.” That is your “I don’t agree.” But we are called to love others. We’re called to love our enemies. We’re called to love our neighbors. We’re called to love ourselves. We’re called to love God. We are not called to not love anybody. Period. And we are not doing a great job of that as Christians. So I agree that is one way to show your daughter love and acceptance of her as a person. You don’t have to accept someone’s experience or their life in order to validate them as a person. And so when her friend comes over, you have boundaries in place regardless of whether your child is dating someone you approve of or not, right? Hopefully they respect your home and they respect your rules. But you get to set boundaries. And you’re right, the holidays are coming up, and this definitely is going to be a topic at many tables, because some families are estranged, because it is preferable to not have the other person around than to have that discomfort of, “Well, we disagree with this lifestyle.” But I agree with Dr. Alice. I think it can be a way that your Christian witness can go forward. We have people in our life who don’t believe how we believe, and whose actions and behaviors are not the same as our own, but they know us and love us, and we know them and we love them. Dr. Alice Benton: If I had no sinners at my table, I wouldn’t be allowed there either. And Jesus gave a pretty neat example of going to the parties that were full of sinners, because the sinners are the ones that need him. I’m the one that needs him. Brian Perez: Yep. Debbie, thanks for submitting your question at newlife.com/radio. We’ll talk to you next time. Thanks for listening. We hope this program has helped you by giving you insights for handling the challenges you face in your life. We want you to know that we’re here for you, but you also need to know that New Life Live is a listener-supported ministry. To make your donation or to get any of the resources mentioned on today’s program, call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. That’s 1-800-639-5433, or online at newlife.com. Please join us again tomorrow for New Life Live. If you or someone you know is struggling If you or someone you love is thinking about suicide or self-harm, you don’t have to face it alone. Call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, or reach out to New Life at 1-800-NEW-LIFE (1-800-639-5433).

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui discusses what to do when someone you know is suicidal. My 21-year-old nephew is an atheist, uses substances to drown his sorrows, and has put his hands on his mother more than once. We lost a sibling to suicide, so that might be why my sister is overprotective. The hosts discuss why betrayed women are reluctant to get help for themselves. How do I love and support my 22-year-old daughter without supporting the lesbian lifestyle? My daughter is in a lesbian relationship, and we are Christians who want to love and support her while staying true to our beliefs. New Life Live — Program Transcript Air Date: September 10 Hosts: Brian Perez, Dr. Alice Benton (Clinical Psychologist), and Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist), with a visit from New Life President Becky Brown Welcome to New Life Live, the premier place to receive free advice from Christian psychologists and counselors for the mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual challenges you face. Since 1988, we’ve offered compassionate responses that combine God’s truth with proven psychological principles to guide you toward healing. Our phone lines are open. Call us now at 1-800-229-3000. Opening: A Conversation About Suicide Awareness Brian Perez: Hey, welcome to New Life Live. Thank you so much for joining us today. My name is Brian Perez. I’m here with clinical psychologist Dr. Alice Benton and licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris. Ladies, it is so good to be here with you today. Jacqui, what’s on your mind to start us off? Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Well, with it being Suicide Awareness Day, I have been thinking about how important suicide conversations are and how difficult they are. You know, sometimes we notice that somebody’s not themselves and maybe they’re withdrawing or talking about being too much of a burden, saying people would be better off without them. Maybe they’ve started to seem hopeless or wanting to get rid of things, and we start to worry about their safety. But then we become afraid ourselves, and in our fear we don’t ask the question. I’ve found amongst my friends and family and even clients that people are often surprised when I very directly say, “Are you thinking about ending your life? Are you thinking about suicide? Are you thinking about harming yourself? Are you thinking about harming someone else?” And it’s because we don’t want to make people feel bad. So out of our own fear, we don’t do the very thing someone needs. I have heard people say, “Well, I don’t want to cause them to do that,” or “I don’t want to put it on their mind if it’s not already on their mind.” But asking someone directly about suicide doesn’t put the idea in their head. It actually lets them know that you see them, you care about them, that they matter, and that you’re willing to hear what they have to say. And as Christians, sometimes I think we feel pressured to immediately give a scripture, or “I’ll pray for you,” or tell people, “God has a plan.” And yes, those things are true and they can be meaningful, but it’s often not the right answer. Often people just simply need you to be willing to stay. They need to know that they matter enough that even though they are in pain, and their pain hurts you, you will sit with them — that they do matter. So listen. Don’t judge. Don’t minimize their pain — “Oh, it’s fine, we all go through things like that,” or “That happened a long time ago, you should be over that by now.” Don’t try to fix everything in the moment. Sometimes people just need to sit in what hurts, and that is okay. Help them connect to someone who can provide support. Help them connect to New Life. Help them connect to a counselor. Help them find a Life Recovery Group so that they can be around other people who can help them see their own value. Suicide prevention doesn’t always begin with having great words or the perfect words. Sometimes it’s just noticing that someone is struggling and being willing to stay. Dr. Alice Benton: I find that those who are suffering usually want to be asked and wish people would ask them. And you don’t have to be a therapist to ask. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers. Because if your loved one says, “Yes, I want to hurt myself, I do want to die,” then it can be as simple as calling us at New Life. It can be as simple as calling the suicide prevention hotline, 988. I’ve called 988 in order to get a sense of what happens when someone calls. I found that the person who answered was well equipped, so kind, and very patient. They know what to do. We know what to do. All you have to do, if your loved one says they want to hurt themselves, is reach out for help from professionals, and we’ll walk you through what to do next. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: And I think sharing that also with our kids. I had a conversation with someone whose child came home and said their friend told them that they’d been wanting to hurt themselves, and the kid didn’t know what to do. So we were able to say, “Walk them to the nurse’s office, walk them to the principal’s office, walk them to an adult, and stay with them and have that conversation.” It’s a conversation my family also has from time to time, knowing that the increase in suicidal ideation is so strong today. Our kids need to be equipped. Dr. Alice Benton: They do. They’re out in the world, and people say mean things, and so we need to tell them that their life matters and that they can talk to us about anything. Brian Perez: Yep. We’ll be right back on New Life Live. Gigi, you’ll be our first call, so hang on. Resources Mentioned Brian Perez: Since we were just on the topic of suicide, I want to let you know about a couple of articles that we have available on our website, newlife.com. One of them is called “What to Do When Someone Is Suicidal.” It probably has the information that Jacqui just gave, maybe some extra stuff as well. So check that out at newlife.com. We also have a tip sheet. If you yourself have that suicidal thinking, it’s called “Eight Steps to Breaking Free from Suicidal Thinking.” We can send you that tip sheet when you call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. Or, you know what, just order that tip sheet anyway. Have it handy just in case something happens and you wind up having a conversation with someone. Again, that one’s called “Eight Steps to Breaking Free from Suicidal Thinking.” Call us to get it. And if you’re watching on Facebook or YouTube, we’ll put that information in the show notes there. Caller: Gigi from Orlando, Florida Brian Perez: Let’s go to the phones now. Here is Gigi, who listens to us on newlife.com in Orlando, Florida. Hey there, Gigi. Welcome to New Life Live. Gigi: Thank you. Brian Perez: How can we help you today? Gigi: This topic is kind of multifaceted, but it comes down to things like boundaries. I’m an aunt watching my sister deal with my nephew and the havoc that he’s wreaking on my sister’s marriage, and it’s just hard to watch. He’s 21. We’re a Christian family. He was brought up to know the Lord, and he’s saying that he’s an atheist. And he’s so bitter against all of us, his parents. He’s using substances to drown his sorrows. And it could be worse — I don’t want it to be worse — but he’s had trouble controlling his emotions and anger and has put his hands on his mother more than once, but not recently. And she still is in denial. She’ll tell me one thing and then deny it the next, because it’s hard. She doesn’t want the family to be prejudiced against him. But it’s too late now. We don’t feel safe. And it’s just hard. Dr. Alice Benton: Can I pause you for a minute? She doesn’t want the family to be prejudiced against him — so she doesn’t want the family to react negatively to his behavior and kind of not want him around. Is that what you’re saying? Gigi: Yes, that’s correct. Dr. Alice Benton: And he doesn’t want to be around you guys either, right? Gigi: Yeah, he’s decided he’s atheist, and so, yes. Dr. Alice Benton: You said he put hands on his mother more than once. Were there any consequences for that? Gigi: Yes. The police came. He had to be bailed out of jail. They hired an attorney. It could have been worse. It was him struggling against the police that actually got him in trouble, and the fact that she had called because she was scared. So she blames herself for that, because he won’t let that go. He’s 21. This has happened over the course of a few years that he’s just drowned in sorrow and blaming. Dr. Alice Benton: And Gigi, he still lives with her. Is that right? Gigi: Yes. Dr. Alice Benton: And you said her husband — is her husband his father? Gigi: Oh yes, yes. Dr. Alice Benton: So is he that way with his father as well? Gigi: His father loves him, but he doesn’t have his son’s respect, and his son doesn’t trust his dad — and I think it’s both ways. I think my sister is his soul. She’s the person he’s latched onto for life. And with torture or love, he does something bad and then apologizes. Dr. Alice Benton: Gigi, you’re so right to be worried about her, because she loves him, but she’s also trying to protect him from the righteous consequences of his behavior, and it’s just a setup for him to repeat it. Tell us, do you know if he experienced a major loss or trauma that might have led to him being so embittered? Gigi: My sister would say that it is because they took him across country when he was in high school, because of a job for his dad. And while they were there, he was sad and lonely — first time in high school. A young lady broke his heart and said many awful things, and he has low self-image issues. But he’ll drag everything up. It’s amazing the memory we have when we are wanting to be bitter and resentful. He blame-shifts a lot onto them. Dr. Alice Benton: Blame-shifting is very — Gigi: Yes, I didn’t know that phrase. Dr. Alice Benton: And it’s understandable that he’s hurt by these things, but of course none of it justifies his substance use and his aggressive behavior towards his mom. And she is not willing to allow the consequences for him. But she does want you to be a listening ear, which puts you in a tough position, because you probably want to intervene and she won’t allow you to. Is that right? Gigi: Yes. It’s amazing how quickly our brains go from one thing to another. I will be wanting to encourage her, and then I have to stand up for logic, and then we pray together, and it’s so emotional all the time. I have other siblings, and they don’t want to hear it anymore, and it makes her feel so bad. And she can’t help but want to call us bad names. Dr. Alice Benton: Oh, she’s calling you all bad names. Gigi: Oh yes, yes, yes. Dr. Alice Benton: So she’s verbally abusive to you, even though you’re her listener? Gigi: Yes, because we are not living up to her needs and expectations. So the son might have gotten it honestly. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Well, I — Gigi: Yes, but I know my whole sister. You know what I mean? I know — Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: You know what you see when you’re with her? I’m going to stop you there, because we have a tendency to say we know, but oftentimes we are in relationship with people in our imaginations, not the reality of how they live their life every day, because we’re not there. So we think we know — “My sister would do this,” or “My sister’s this way or that way.” But look at her life and the life circumstance that she’s in. The sister you were about to describe, that you know, wouldn’t be living in this life circumstance. So she has a part of her that isn’t the her you guys know. It is also maybe not the parent you’ve always seen. Dr. Alice Benton: Dr. Jacqui was asking about any events that maybe had happened in his life. That move happened when he was in high school. He maybe felt like he had no say in it. They moved him. He lost friends. Loneliness. She is his person. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: “You’ve got your family. That’s enough. That’s all you need, right?” Well, if she is his person, I wonder what things had been like before he turned 21. What was it like when he was five? What were the responses when he was seven? What were the responses when he was 12? What happened when he got an F? What happened when he lost the game? Because if she’s willing to mistreat you all like that, it is so likely she responds to him in reactivity and anger, too. Dr. Alice Benton: And they’re back and forth in their reactivity, and then he’s now a man and he’s getting bigger, and so it’s starting to look different. And the family doesn’t enjoy being around him. Have you guys — when he was younger — did you enjoy being together as a family with your sister and her husband and your nephew? Gigi: Well, my sister saved him. He was always bailed out. He had two older sisters, so he was always saying, “I’ll have what she’s having,” and “Oh, she’s going to help me with my homework,” things like that. He was given a lot of leniency because he was the baby. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: The baby. Gigi: Yeah. If he just said “Mama” enough, he was going to get his way — or get a spanking. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: So would the spanking be from Mom? Gigi: Oh yeah. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: So he had a situation that might have been a little bit disorganized, and so he couldn’t tell if he’s going to get the wrath of Mom or the coddling of Mom. Gigi: That is true. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: What was childhood like for you and your sister? Gigi: Well, I just want to touch on something else. My sister was a great mother. I know exactly what she was going through. I saw it up front. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: No judgment. We all do the best we can with what we have. But what did you guys come out of? What did you see? How were you parented? Gigi: We had parents that were Christian. We all could have been better. But I can tell you, we had a sorrowful loss in 2007. My sister — she committed suicide. There’s too much to even go into, but the point is she was an angel. She loved Jesus, and she had some mental illness that — well, we failed her in fellowship, too. I feel like we did. My sister does not want another angel. Do you know what I mean? Dr. Alice Benton: Of course. So she might overprotect her son because she doesn’t want him to commit suicide. That completely makes sense. That is it. Dr. Alice Benton: So, Gigi, I think there are two things that you have in your power to do, because so much of this is outside of your ability to really control. You might consider a family intervention, because your nephew is the obvious problem, but you’re pointing out there is brokenness in the family — and there is in all of our families. A family interventionist, and we have a couple of great people that we can recommend, would be able to help decipher who most needs the intervention. The nephew looks like the obvious one, but he may not be the only one. An intervention brings to bear truth about how the chaotic behavior is affecting the family — that’s the way your sister abuses you, but it’s also the way the nephew abuses your sister. And it offers options for healing, but their response to that is out of your control, as you well know. And so if your sister continues to be abusive to you, you may have to start protecting yourself by limiting your exposure to her. She’s getting all this free therapy from you. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Oh, I wouldn’t call it therapy. Dr. Alice Benton: Well, you’re her good listening ear. But because you’re her main listener, I think she doesn’t know she needs more help, or she’s not willing or able to go get more professional help. And you need some of that responsibility taken off of your shoulders and transferred to a professional. I have the feeling your sister’s not real willing to get help. Gigi: Well, the good news on that end — all these months that I have been harping on “You need somebody to talk to, you need somebody to tell you how to talk it over with” — she’s got a therapist. Dr. Alice Benton: Terrific. God is good. So celebrating that is right to do. But you still can limit your exposure to her. So that may be, “I’ve got five minutes to listen to you. If you get mean, if you get loud, I will hang up.” Gigi: Oh wow. Dr. Alice Benton: Or, “I’m not willing to hear about this anymore. Please take this to your therapist.” Gigi, you said “Oh wow” twice. What has come up for you? Gigi: That just breaks my heart. Wow. Dr. Alice Benton: You want to find a way to fix it without her having to suffer the consequences. In the same way, she wants to find a way to fix it for her son without him having to face the consequences. She’s not going to grow without the consequence. If you continue to subject yourself to her behavior, you are doing exactly what she is doing with her son. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: How does that land, Gigi? Gigi: She’s been there for all of us every time we needed her. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Would she tell you wonderful things about her son? It’s the same cycle. Dr. Alice Benton: And Gigi, oddly enough, removing yourself to some distance — it loves her better than just being her listener, because it will force more discomfort, which makes it more likely that she’ll receive the help she’s getting from her therapist. Brian Perez: Gigi, thanks for calling us today here on New Life Live. We know we offered you a lot of suggestions, and go back and listen to the archive so that you can find out more. New Life President Becky Brown Joins the Program Brian Perez: We are back on New Life. Brian Perez here, along with doctors Jacqui Mack-Harris and Alice Benton. And look who’s joining us — it’s New Life President Becky Brown. Hey, Becky. Becky Brown: Hello. Surprise. My heart is hurting for Gigi and her family. So many times we hear the efforts that people are putting into trying to fix the problem. And I’m so grateful that we are here for her to reach out and talk to both you, Jacqui, and Alice, with that compassionate care and insightful truth that you gave her. And you gave her next steps. The only way we can do that is because people are generous and support New Life. They’ve been either part of our 99 for the One monthly donation, or they give big gifts, because out of the abundance that God has given them, they want to give back to make sure that the hope of a new life is there. I was thinking about “Every Man’s Battle,” and we hear so many testimonies. One in particular: Nick felt dead inside. Pornography, lust, and affairs gave him temporary relief, but the emptiness always returned. And while he tried different programs, he was stuck and began to lose hope. His wife gave him an ultimatum — and we hear that a lot here. She said, “You need to go to Every Man’s Battle.” He was hesitant, but he went, and he discovered what was fueling the addiction. He had a safe, shame-free zone and godly counselors who have been on this journey. They know what it’s like to be stuck and to find that freedom in Christ. New Life has had the privilege to walk alongside so many people for close to 40 years. And we couldn’t do it unless God was moving in the hearts of you, our donors and our listeners, to be part of what God is doing through New Life. So I just wanted to come on today and encourage you: if you have not supported us yet, today’s the day. And Brian, how can they give? Brian Perez: Oh, there’s several ways, Becky. They can go online to newlife.com. They can call us at 1-800-NEW-LIFE. They can text NLM — as in New Life Ministries — to 28950. And yeah, if you want to make a big gift today, we are not going to say, “No, no, no, let’s break it up into two or three gifts.” No, no — we’ll take it, because we appreciate so much what you guys do, what the Lord lays on your heart to give toward New Life so that we can continue what we’re doing. And sometimes it’s people like our last caller, Becky, who are calling on behalf of someone else, because they see the turmoil that their family is going through, or a friend or a neighbor. They call because they’re like, “You know what, I trust you guys, you can help. Give me some tips to help my friend. Give me a tip sheet that I can give my friend, because there’s so much going on.” And there’s not too many places — I can’t even think of one — where somebody on a live program would pick up a phone call. We don’t know what you’re going to ask. We don’t know what the situation is. And we are ready to give you the next step, because we know that God is working through the ministry and through our incredible co-hosts. Becky Brown: We’ve been doing this a long time. We’ve been helping so many people, and you’re probably one of them, listener. You’ve been impacted. And so today’s the day. Thanks for letting me jump on, and let’s go back to the calls. Brian Perez: Anytime, Becky. Anytime. It’s so good to hear from Becky when she tells us these stories of listeners that she’s heard firsthand of how New Life Ministries has helped. And I remember recently, Alice, you were talking about how there were things you were going through — you didn’t even know New Life was around, and then you found New Life, and boom. Dr. Alice Benton: That’s right. Even though I grew up in the faith, and I went to college for psychology, I really hadn’t found a resource that combined those two things together. And that’s what New Life does very uniquely. It shows us how the two go hand in hand and are both necessary for our healing. Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: I love that New Life exists, because I came up in a church where psychology was bad, and so the church would tell you not to see a therapist — all you need is the Bible, and your pastor. If your pastor doesn’t say it, then you shouldn’t hear it. And so it was a joy for me to find New Life and to find these professionals who have this wisdom, who are God-led, who come prayed up and ready to see what the Holy Spirit will use them to do. Over the years I’ve been able to have conversations with and meet so many people who love New Life, who call in and who listen regularly. It’s a gift to our community, and we really appreciate that people continue to give so that we can continue to serve. Dr. Alice Benton: And it’s not just about listening and receiving the wisdom, but about putting it into practice, especially with the New Life family that believes in these principles together, knows they’re broken, and wants to heal and is actively taking those steps. Because wisdom alone, information alone, is not enough. It needs to be practiced with other people. That’s that iron that sharpens iron. And I’ve never found better iron than at New Life. Brian Perez: Those formative years for me too were also, you know, no psychology — just whatever your pastor says, that’s all you need. Psychology was just man’s wisdom instead of God’s wisdom. Well, here at New Life, we combine these things, and we put God’s word first in front of everything that we do, because that’s what it’s all about. We’re not here to just tell you what we think — we search the scriptures and we give you godly advice, and we want to keep doing it. So if you can help us today, go to newlife.com, or call 1-800-NEW-LIFE, or text NLM to 28950. Thank you for your generosity. Email Question: Debbie Brian Perez: So we have several ways that you can ask your question. Our favorite way is when you call into the studio when we’re here taking calls, and you can find out more about that on our website, newlife.com/radio, which shows our recording schedule. It also gives you a phone number where you can leave a voicemail. And there’s also a form that you can fill out so that you can send us an email with your question. That is what Debbie did. Debbie asks, “How do I love and support my 22-year-old daughter without giving support to the lesbian lifestyle?” Debbie says her daughter is in a lesbian relationship. She’s never exhibited this tendency before. She’s not had any boyfriends, but she’s wanted one desperately. They’re Christian; she’s been raised in the church. She thinks God is okay with her lifestyle. “So how do I love and support her?” What do you guys say to Debbie? Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: I say love her and support her as the person. That’s hard, though, I think, for Debbie to be able to do, because Debbie’s not able to separate out her daughter’s relational activity from the person that she is. What I would wonder is: what has your relationship with her been like? What does love look like? What does it mean to love someone? I would go to scripture and look at what scripture says about love, and see if those are thoughts, tenets, behaviors, ways of being that you find in your relationship with your daughter. And then this is something I ask people regularly: how is that other person’s sex life affecting you? I think as Christians, we spend an enormous amount of time concerned about other people’s sexual health and sex life, and I just don’t see God being nearly as concerned about everybody else’s sex life as we are. I think we as Christians have made that a focal point, and we are doing a disservice. We are not introducing people to Jesus. We’re introducing people to rules and propriety, and Jesus came to set us free. Either we are free in Christ or we are not. And if I help someone know Jesus — I’ve introduced them to Jesus, I’ve walked through the Roman Road with them, they’ve accepted Christ and they know Jesus — the rest is not my business. I trust the Holy Spirit to do what he’s going to do. And if they end up in a homosexual relationship, drug-addicted, in a violent abusive relationship, anything — that is between them and God at that point. All God has called me to do is love God with all my heart, soul, and mind, and to love others as I love myself. So I think as Christians, we have to check ourselves. We are the ones falling out of line. I don’t have anything to do with your marriage — whether you are in a same-sex marriage or a gendered marriage, I have nothing to do with that. What God has called me to do is to help you know Jesus. And if I’ve done that, then I know I’ve done my work, and I trust the Holy Spirit to handle anything that God’s not pleased with. Dr. Alice Benton: Debbie, your question must have a lot of fear and pain to it, and I know I would feel similarly if I were in your shoes. We’re getting this question more and more frequently from other parents who wonder, “Why did my good Christian upbringing not seem to stick in this area of my child’s life?” — especially when your daughter sounds like she expressed a desire for a boyfriend for a long time. What a shock that she then introduces you to her girlfriend. I think you will not like some of the things that I have to say, because getting to know her partner is a way to love her and to love the partner. But I think that might not feel right to you to do. I think you can be a Christian influence in both of their lives more by your actions than by your words of opposition. There could be a tendency towards judgmentalism out of your fear — and I would have that same tendency in your shoes. And you might possibly be wondering, “Did I fail my daughter? What did I do wrong that this is a choice she has made?” So I want you to be really careful about judgmentalism coming out. I also think we are called to warn other believers when we see that there is sin behavior, or to warn those who are stumbling toward the edge. So I think it’s a parental obligation to say — once, with a whole lot of love and kindness and humility — “I am an imperfect parent, and I also need to point something out, because I love you so much. I am confused that you’re both a Christian and you’re choosing a homosexual relationship. What’s your understanding of what the Bible has to say about that? I really want to understand your perspective as a Christian.” Be more of a listener, Debbie, than a speaker. But once, it’s important to conclude with, “I disagree with you. I think this part of your relationship is out of alignment with God’s will, and I need to point that out because I love you and I don’t want you to have unnecessary suffering in your life. All the times I’ve been out of alignment with God’s will — my lying, my extramarital emotional affair, my excessive alcohol use — I was out of alignment with his will, and it brought suffering on me too. So I’m going to keep loving you, I’m going to keep praying for you, and I thank you that you heard this conversation from me.” That’s what I would have you share with your daughter. There’s a great book called Embodied by Preston Sprinkle. He’s a clinician who has specialized in this very thing: What do we do with both Christianity and same-sex desire, and how do we love well? And we do it a lot more with behavior than with words. Brian Perez: Isn’t loving and supporting the partner — Debbie was asking about her daughter, and you both gave great advice, but when we bring the partner into it, doesn’t it seem like we’re condoning the behavior? We’ve got the holidays coming up. People are going to probably start calling soon: “Do I invite them to Thanksgiving dinner? Do I invite them to our Christmas celebration?” Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris: Well, I think, like Alice said, this is an opportunity for your witness. And it honestly doesn’t matter if you agree with the lifestyle or not. You’ve said you don’t agree — so in that, you have said, “This isn’t something I think is okay. I love you, but I’m concerned for you. I’m concerned for how this will impact your life.” That is your “I don’t agree.” But we are called to love others. We’re called to love our enemies. We’re called to love our neighbors. We’re called to love ourselves. We’re called to love God. We are not called to not love anybody. Period. And we are not doing a great job of that as Christians. So I agree that is one way to show your daughter love and acceptance of her as a person. You don’t have to accept someone’s experience or their life in order to validate them as a person. And so when her friend comes over, you have boundaries in place regardless of whether your child is dating someone you approve of or not, right? Hopefully they respect your home and they respect your rules. But you get to set boundaries. And you’re right, the holidays are coming up, and this definitely is going to be a topic at many tables, because some families are estranged, because it is preferable to not have the other person around than to have that discomfort of, “Well, we disagree with this lifestyle.” But I agree with Dr. Alice. I think it can be a way that your Christian witness can go forward. We have people in our life who don’t believe how we believe, and whose actions and behaviors are not the same as our own, but they know us and love us, and we know them and we love them. Dr. Alice Benton: If I had no sinners at my table, I wouldn’t be allowed there either. And Jesus gave a pretty neat example of going to the parties that were full of sinners, because the sinners are the ones that need him. I’m the one that needs him. Brian Perez: Yep. Debbie, thanks for submitting your question at newlife.com/radio. We’ll talk to you next time. Thanks for listening. We hope this program has helped you by giving you insights for handling the challenges you face in your life. We want you to know that we’re here for you, but you also need to know that New Life Live is a listener-supported ministry. To make your donation or to get any of the resources mentioned on today’s program, call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. That’s 1-800-639-5433, or online at newlife.com. Please join us again tomorrow for New Life Live. If you or someone you know is struggling If you or someone you love is thinking about suicide or self-harm, you don’t have to face it alone. Call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, or reach out to New Life at 1-800-NEW-LIFE (1-800-639-5433).

Becky Brown (president of New Life Ministries) hops on the show with info on the latest & greatest with the ministry and New Life Live, the radio program she co-hosts weekdays at 1pm (and 12am) on WFIL. Find out more on their newly-rebranded website www.newlife.com. Gary Myers (longtime NFL Insider & author) checks in regarding his new book Brady vs Belichick: The Dynasty Debate. Myers have covered the NFL for nearly 40 years and written six books including the New York Times bestseller Brady V Manning.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Becky Brown, President of New Life Ministries and co-host of the New Life Live! radio program (heard weekdays at 1:00pm and 12:00am on WFIL) joins the program! Becky is a licensed professional clinical counselor who has been with New Life Ministries for over 25 years. She shares about the radio ministry and various resources New Life has to offer through its books, workshops, and other materials. New Life Live! is WFIL's Ministry of the Month for June. Each weekday we're giving away the book Take Your Life Back by New Life Ministries founder Steve Arterburn & David Stoop plus a New Life Live journal. There's also a grand prize you can win featuring a zippered tote, 12-ounce tumbler, and 8 devotional books including "100 Days of Freedom from Fear and Anxiety," "100 Days of Prayer," "100 Days of Character" and "100 Days of Healing." Enter to win in the carousel on WFIL's home page :).See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Becky Brown, President of New Life Ministries and co-host of the New Life Live! radio program (heard weekdays at 1pm and 12am) joins the show today! She shares New Life's history and how the ministry and radio show can be of help. Brown has also created a special video with insight into reducing stress & anxiety, especially in today's culture. You can access the video by clicking here or by entering "NEW LIFE VIDEO" in the Search field at wfil.com :). A.J. Croce, singer/songwriter and son of the late Jim Croce (Bad, Bad Leroy Brown, Time In A Bottle, Operator), checks in to share about his new album "Heart of the Eternal," his family's local roots (Jim was born in South Philly and A.J. in Bryn Mawr), and his relationship with his dad. Find out more at www.ajcrocemusic.com. Sports clipZack Wheeler (Philadelphia Phillies starting pitcher) (courtesy of MLB.com)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The sovereign timing of a new move of God. New Life Ministries able to be streeeeeeeeeetched, full of the tautness of His testing. Releasing His glory covering over Lima and its region. Isaiah 42: 1-8

Want to love your neighbor, but also stand firm in your convictions? Stephen Arterburn says both are achievable, even in today's social climate. Stephen is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries and host of the syndicated Christian counseling talk show "New Life Live!" He's also a speaker, bestselling author with more than 15 million books in print, and co-creator of the "Life Recovery Bible." In this conversation​ with nine-time Emmy winner David Sams, you'll hear real-life stories from Stephen that will provoke deep thought. More from Stephen can also be found on the Hope For The Heart Channel at KeepTheFaith.com. https://newlife.com #NewLifeLive #KeepTheFaith #StephenArterburn #contagiousinfluencer #davidsams

Welcome to Episode 303 of the Worship Probs Podcast - We're glad you're here! Brian & Kim share some hilarious Prayer Concerns that you can't miss. Plus, Brian shares his incredible conversation with Becky Brown, President of New Life Ministries. This conversation is full of life-changing insights and practical next step that just might change your life or the life of someone you know. Don't miss it and be sure to share! Check it out - and like, comment, subscribe, and share with a friend! Learn more and stay connected with >>> Worship Probs (instagram.com/worshipprobs) // Brian Tabor (instagram.com/briantabor) // Jen Smale (instagram.com/jensmale) // Becky Brown (instagram.com/1beckyb) Special thank you to our friends at Maven Media Productions for editing the podcast [Follow @mavenmediaproductions and visit www.mavenmediaproductions.com], and our great friend Scott Hoke for the voiceover intro [Visit www.scotthokevoice.com].

Becky Brown, president of New Life Ministries and host of New Life Live! with Steve Arterburn joins the show today. Becky has served with the ministry over 20 years and shares with energy and joy the heart of New Life's work, of her appreciation for founder Steve Arterburn (who recently has stepped back in part due to health reasons), and regarding the various resources you can win this month (as New Life Live! is WFIL's Ministry of the Month for July). John Ford Coley, of the Grammy-nominated duo England Dan & John Ford Coley (which featured 6 Top 20 songs including "I'd Really Love To See You Tonight" and "Love Is The Answer") checks in too. Coley released "Sketches Volume 1"--a collection of songs he recorded over the years but had never previously released--in 2021, and now that collection is available via streaming for the first time. He discusses the band, work with other artists, touring (including a date in PA this October) and more. We also hand out a batch of Rita's gift cards, courtesy of Bryner Chevrolet in Jenkintown, PA. Sports clip: Rob Thomson (Philadelphia Phillies manager) (from MLB.com)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you ever wish you could simply start over, or that you had a second chance? Maybe you feel like your life is “too far gone,” that there's no hope of ever going back to what could've been. But there is good news to be found in 2 Corinthians 5:16-17, which says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old is gone, the new is here!”” There is always a chance for a fresh start, as our God meets you with compassion, grace and beautiful mercy.  Pastor Herman Mendoza came up through some tough years growing up in Queens, NY, enduring abuse from his father, and finding it hard to find connection from his peers. He ultimately chose to get involved in gang activity and drug trafficking, which brought him the power and sense of connection he had always wanted, but also ended up with run-ins with authorities, and ultimately jail time that he couldn't negotiate his way out of. He shares how God changed his path to become a force for good in a place where goodness isn't easily found. Stephen Arterburn, founder of New Life Ministries, has a focus of transformation with God's truth and a genuine desire to see parents shepherd their children well through the pitfalls of the online world. He shares helpful guidance for parents seeking to mentor their children in this screen-saturated time.   Links, Products, and Resources Mentioned: Jesus Calling Podcast Jesus Calling Jesus Always Jesus Listens Past interview: John & Stasi Eldredge Upcoming interview: Levi Lusko www.ReadRelief.com 2 Corinthians 5:16-17 NIV   Herman Mendoza Promise Ministries International Powerhouse Kids Rikers Island Proverbs 26:11 NIV Drug Enforcement Agency www.hermanmendoza.com   Stephen Arterburn New Life Ministries New Life Live Jesus Calling for kids www.stephenarterburn.com Understanding and Loving Your Child In a Screen-Saturated World Interview Quotes: “This was all God setting everything up. He would have it no other way.” - Herman Mendoza “For the very first time it wasn't about me. It wasn't about excuses. It wasn't about negotiating with God. It was about the wrongs that I've done and that Jesus paid the price for my sins and that He can make it alright, even though the sins that I was committing, there's a price to pay for them, and I had to pay that price.” - Herman Mendoza  “There's hope in Jesus Christ. God is amazing, and when you seek Him, you will find Him. and He will change your life forever.” - Herman Mendoza  “You have to come to that place where you have to know Jesus first. He will navigate you through life's obstacles and life's challenges. God enables me to have freedom through prayer, to talk to Him and and for Him to remind me that He loves me. He's with me, and the Holy Scriptures are there to guide me each and every day.” - Herman Mendoza  ________________________ Enjoy watching these additional videos from Jesus Calling YouTube channel! Audio Episodes:     https://bit.ly/3zvjbK7  Bonus Podcasts:     https://bit.ly/3vfLlGw  Jesus Listens: Stories of Prayer:  https://bit.ly/3Sd0a6C  Peace for Everyday Life:     https://bit.ly/3zzwFoj  Peace in Uncertain Times:     https://bit.ly/3cHfB6u  What's Good?     https://bit.ly/3vc2cKj  Enneagram:     https://bit.ly/3hzRCCY  ________________________  Connect with Jesus Calling Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest YouTube Website

Dr. Stephen "Steve" Arterburn from Ranger, Texas is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries and host of the syndicated Christian counseling talk show New Life Live! available on XM and Sirius Satellite radio and on NRB Network. Arterburn is also the host of New Life TV, a web-based Christian ministry. Arterburn is the founder of the Women of Faith conferences. He also serves as a teaching pastor in Carmel, Indiana.

Stephen Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries and host of the number one nationally syndicated Christian counseling talk show, New Life Live!, which is heard and watched by more than two million people on nearly two hundred radio stations each week. He is also the host of New Life TV, a web-based video channel dedicated to transforming lives through God's truth; the founder of the Women of Faith conferences, attended by more than five million people; and a bestselling author.  He wants to help you connect with the next generation!  ONLINE: Facebook: LINK Twitter: LINK Online: LINK Website: LINK LINKS:  Follow 2 Lead Coaching https://www.follow2leadcoaching.com/   Spirit and Truth Substack https://spiritandtruth.substack.com/   Tony on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/twmilt/   Check out our YouTube page https://www.youtube.com/tmiltenberger1   Be sure to leave us a review on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reclamation-podcast-reclaiming-good-practices-for-following/id1429933082  

Today, on Karl and Crew Mornings, we continued our weekly theme called Breaking Free, and we discussed breaking free from distractions. There's a familiar saying, "A good thing becomes a bad thing when it crowds out the best thing - Him". What are your key distractions? How can we overcome? The scripture reference was Hebrews 12:1-2. Our special guest was Steve Arterburn (speaker, author, Founder & Chairman of New Life Ministries, and host of "New Life Today"). He shared wisdom from his book, "Understanding and Loving Your Child in A Screen Saturated World". Hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Whether it’s our kids and screens or our college students being led away from the values we instilled in them, our kids are being kidnapped by outside forces. Stephen Arterburn, founder and chairman of New Life Ministries, host of #1 nationally syndicated Christian counseling talk show, New Life Live!, and founder of Women of Faith conferences is with us to talk about his newest books Understanding and Loving Your Child in a Screen-Saturated World and Understanding and Loving Your College Student. Steve suggests that along with limiting screen time we also get involved with our kids in screen time. That being said, there is no substitute for face to face, relationship building time with your child. Steve also shares that if you’re sending your kids off to college, it’s important to know your child. Will they need to hear from you daily? Or do they need a week to make friends before a phone call? Encourage them to engage with the activities offered on their campus to help them to meet other people and get the most out of the college experience. It’s also important to note that college isn’t for everyone. What would best set your child up for fulfilling God’s call on their life? Shawna challenges us to move from celebrating what we know to putting it into practice. Next, the gavel has come down. You’re guilty. You’re about to face the penalty, and the judge does something unprecedented. Perry admits, “There are moments I fear I’ve disqualified myself from being at God’s table.” Last, Shawna shares a story of hearing from God and learning to obey what He’s said.Support the show: https://give.moodyradio.org/fall-share?v=def&appeal=MRWM&_gl=1%2a142i9we%2a_ga%2aNTE4MTE5MmUtY2U1Yy00YmQ3LWU4MmUtNjEwYTQ5YzAyODRj%2a_ga_4WH1937046%2aMTY5NTExODEwMS4yOTkuMC4xNjk1MTE4MTAxLjYwLjAuMA..&_ga=2.197426156.215784306.1695059984-1182841406.166859587See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

James Phillis, Founder of Front Row Life Coaching, who has also served with New Life Ministries, discussed the book, Understanding and Loving Your College Student, which he co-authored with New Life Founder and CEO, Stephen Arterburn. You can learn more at newlife.com.  You can connect with him at frontrowlifecoaching.net. 

James Phillis, Founder of Front Row Life Coaching, who has also served with New Life Ministries, discussed the book, Understanding and Loving Your College Student, which he co-authored with New Life Founder and CEO, Stephen Arterburn. You can learn more at newlife.com.  You can connect with him at frontrowlifecoaching.net. 

Stephen Arterbrun is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries and host of the number one nationally syndicated Christian counseling talk show, New Life Live! He's got over 15,000,000 books sold and is listened to by over 3,000,000 people a week. He's got two new books coming out August 1st. "Understanding and Loving Your Child in a Screen-Saturated World" and "Understanding and Loving Your College Student" are two topics I love to learn more about. Sometimes our first response as men is to react with Anger. Today we'll talk about ways to Protect and Connect with your child. When it comes to the internet, it is important to have a plan for your family and implement it.  Here are a few questions we talk about: -How can we respond with something other than Anger? -What are some strategies for Protecting our children from the dangers that can come from screens and the internet? -Why should our kids learn how to say NO? Fair is where Pigs Win Ribbons! I love this line from Stephen. Great, funny dad response for when my daughters tell me "Dad, that's NOT FAIR!"   Here is an Amazon link to order Understanding and Loving Your Child in a Screen Saturated World  Here is an Amazson link to order Understanding and Loving Your College Student Here is a Link to Stephen Arterburn's Website Join our FREE Facebook Community The Journey of a Christian Dad HERE AND my wife has two new children's books out! Check them out HERE! They make great gifts. Thank you for supporting my wife!

Discover the importance of God's Word for creating and maintaining a healthy, lifestyle as Pastor Nat interviews Stephen Arterburn, popular author and founder of New Life Ministries. Download the Transcript of Today's PodcastJourney through the life of Joseph and discover how he was able to live with hope and purpose in the midst of disappointment and courage in the midst of fear. Embrace the truth of God's never-failing goodness when you read Unstoppable Grace!Get this offer for a gift of any amount today.

Steve Arterburn is a nationally known author, speaker, broadcaster, and founder of both New Life Ministries and the Women of Faith movement. He hosts the #1 syndicated counseling talk show, "New Life Live" that is heard around the nation. Steve opens up on several areas of ministry during segment 1. Mike also spends time with the director of Trail Life, Mark Hancock, on this amazing boys' camping ministry. Finally, a visit with Joel Noble from the insurance alternative, Samaritan Ministries.

Blended families are a special kind of family, but it's one that comes with a set of special needs. Whether you are a single parent bringing in a new partner into your family or becoming a bonus parent to someone's child, that adjustment takes time and some hard work for everyone involved. Best-selling author Stephen Arterburn is helping with that in his latest two books: “Understanding and Loving Your Bonus Child” and “Understanding and Loving Your Child As a Single Parent.” Stephen is the founder and chairmen of New Life Ministries and host of the #1 nationally syndicated Christian counseling talk show, “New Life Live!” Nine-time Emmy winner, David Sams, learns some important tips for parents for the modern day. #StephenArterburn #NewLifeLive #BlendedFamilies

Today, on Karl and Crew Mornings, we continued our theme week, "You Asked For It", and we discussed overcoming addictions. One of our special guests was Phil Kwiatkowski, President of Pacific Garden Mission in Chicago. Phil emphasized the spiritual component of addiction, recovery steps, and shared victory stories. Pacific Garden is having an Open House on April 27th. We also talked with Steve Arterburn, author of "Every Man's Battle". Steve is Founder of New Life Ministries and hosts a live counseling talk show. He shared his expertise, especially in the battle of pornography. Finally, we had a great discussion on dignity from Titus 2:7-8. Hear highlights of the program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Becky Brown on Discovering Your Attachment Style, with Merrill and Linda Hutchinson on Rock Solid Radio PodcastBecky Brown, Development Director of New Life Ministries, was interviewed by Merrill and Linda Hutchinson of Rock Solid Radio podcast on attachment styles.Caption: Rock Solid Radiohttps://www.rocksolidfamilies.org/podcast/rock-solid-radioBecky has been a Professional Clinical Counselor for 25 years. She has worked as a CoHost of the national radio show, New Life Live for the past 3 years. She has been involved with New Life Ministries in Donor Relations and Development for over 12 years. Becky has her Masters in Mental Health Counseling.She is a wife and mother of three grown children and grandmother of three grandchildren. She has a special knack for bringing expert counseling support with a well rounded Christian foundation to her listeners and clients. In this episode, she explains the concept of attachment styles, shares how a person's attachment style impacts all of their relationships, and explains the steps to begin healing and learning to create secure attachments. “The one pivotal question that attachment theory starts with is, ‘what are your first memories of being comforted?',” shares Becky Brown, Development Director of New Life Ministries. Becky has been a professional clinical counselor for 25 years, offering Christian counseling and life coaching. She helps people to learn about their attachment styles and work towards creating secure attachment in order to heal their relationships. Today, Becky joins co-hosts Linda and Merrill Hutchinson to talk about attachment styles, mental health, healing relationships, and the transformative power of faith.Listen to, or watch, the full podcast interview by Merrill and Linda Hutchinson with Becky Brown on your preferred podcast channel.In this podcast, the host covers:Why Becky chose to become a Christian counselorWhat attachment theory is and why it impacts every relationship a person hasHow to discover your attachment styleWhy the 12 step path can be helpful to life recovery, even for non addictsWhy it is important to expand your emotional vocabularyHow Every Man's Battle, a workshop and book, can help men develop healthier attachment stylesCaption: Becky Brown, Development Director of New Life MinistriesLink: https://newlife.com/Podcast Quotes:“There is this complicated thing called life where it does make a difference with intact families. It does make a difference when we are teaching the kids how to see other people as people and humans and love them with the love of Christ.” (10:00-10:15 |  Becky)“When people understand their attachment style, it impacts every relationship they have.” (12:45-12:52 | Becky) “The one pivotal question that attachment theory starts with is, ‘what are your first memories of being comforted?'.” (13:39-13:47 | Becky)“What we don't realize many times is that we are the ones that may be disrupting what's actually happening in the connection.” (21:47-21:55 | Becky)“You don't have to have a Bible study to start with. You just need to be seen and heard.” (46:30-46:34 | Becky)Support the show

Steve Arterburn is the founder of New Life Ministries and host of New Life Live on 200 stations including Sirius XM. His modern classic Every Man's Battle is followed up with something deeper in his latest release "Every Believers Thought Life. Pastor Sean's conversation with Steve Arterburn is one that will change the way you think about they way you think.

Steve Arterburn is the founder of New Life Ministries and host of New Life Live on 200 stations including Sirius XM. His modern classic Every Man's Battle is followed up with something deeper in his latest release "Every Believers Thought Life. Pastor Sean's conversation with Steve Arterburn is one that will change the way you think about they way you think.

Stephen Arterburn, Founder and Chairman of New Life Ministries, shared comments related to the book he has co-written, entitled, Every Believer's Thought Life: Defeating Destructive Mental Patterns to Gain Victory Over Temptation. The ministry's website is newlife.com.

Stephen Arterburn, Founder and Chairman of New Life Ministries, shared comments related to the book he has co-written, entitled, Every Believer's Thought Life: Defeating Destructive Mental Patterns to Gain Victory Over Temptation. The ministry's website is newlife.com.

Hi Friend! Welcome back to Life Coach BFF Show! We're discussing our thoughts with author, Stephen Arterburn... we all have them! STEPHEN ARTERBURN is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries and host of the number one nationally syndicated Christian counseling talk show New Life Live!, which is heard and watched by more than two million people on nearly two hundred radio stations each week. He is also the host of New Life TV, a web-based video channel dedicated to transforming lives through God's truth; the founder of the Women of Faith conferences, attended by more than five million people; and a bestselling author. With more than eight million books in print, he has been writing about God's transformational truth since 1984.   Every Believer's Thought Life: Defeating Destructive Mental Patterns to Gain Victory Over Temptation (Salem, January 10, 2023), New York Times bestselling authors Stephen Arterburn and Marcus Brotherton teach us how to take our thoughts captive, identify the root of our struggle and structure our lives in a way that facilitates biblical mental health.  Thanks for Listening! I love you, Heather   Stephen Arterburn  ONLINE Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NewLifeSteve/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/SteveArterburn?s=20&t=PwGHe9enC1td1uF2SDC2tA  Website: https://newlife.com/?gclid=CjwKCAjw4c-ZBhAEEiwAZ105RTP2gyfgAynsQ8shFOiyLhi_AAORfETdaSE7CUP65b7oYOv5515_vhoCD4MQAvD_BwE  CONNECT WITH Heather Pettey email: Heather@HeatherPettey.com Join Membership Group- CLUB BFF Website: HeatherPettey.com Voice Message: 901-308-7110 Leave a thought or question and verbal permission to post on air. Otherwise, the host will read for you! Instagram @lifecoachbff Facebook @lifecoachbff Private Facebook Group: We Are Your BFFS •Listen to more episodes on Apple Podcasts here Thank you for your support and wonderful reviews for my book, Keep It Simple, Sarah . Keep It Simple, Sarah contains modern day advice along with your grandmother's "nuggets." It's filled with verses, etiquette tips, and lessons that will help your teen throughout their journey into womanhood. Click here to purchase!    The best way you can thank me for the free content in this episode, is to rate and review the show on Apple!  *Quick Disclaimer- I'm a coach and not a therapist. Always seek the support of a therapist for clinical mental health issues. Hebrews 12:1    

Steve Arterburn, host of the number one nationally syndicated Christian counseling talk show "New Life Live!" (weekdays 1–2pm (and 12-1am) on WFIL) joins the Tim DeMoss Show today regarding his new book Every Believer's Thought Life--Defeating Destructive Mental Patterns to Gain Victory Over Temptation. Arterburn is founder & chairman of New Life Ministries, the Women of Faith conferences, and a bestselling author including the Every Man series. Arterburn co-writes Every Believer's Thought Life with New York Times bestselling author Marcus Brotherton.  Broadcaster and former NFL linebacker (Eagles, Cowboys, Lions) Garry "G" Cobb checks in later in the program to discuss the playoff-bound Eagles, Damar Hamlin, and the most important thing in life--and also gives an update on the havoc his 14-month old grandson is wreaking as he roams the house :). More on our guests can be found at www.stevenarterburn.com and www.gcobb.com.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For years, the Mattsons have claimed that most high-capacity leaders have a trauma story (though many would never call it that). This episode is not only telling of this research, but it's profoundly encouraging to anyone with a story who needs a reminder of how God uses it ALL. Jeff and Terra, co-hosts of the podcast, had an incredible time listening to Dr. Ron Archer share his powerful story. It first aired during Super Bowl week back in 2021. Though we generally stick with 30 minute interviews, the Mattsons let Dr. Archer roll as they just couldn't stop listening and craved more. Dr. Ron Archer is a world-renowned inspirational speaker, business executive, and author. He was an NFL chaplain, pastor, and world leader, advising several U.S. presidents, training top executives of multiple Fortune 500 companies and military leaders. His debut biography, a story of poverty, hardship, and overcoming all odds, What Belief Can Do, was published in February 2020 with Salem Books. His latest book is, The Power of One Man: How God Uses Men Like You to Change the World. Dr. Archer's story went viral and he has traveled the globe inspiring millions with his testimony.   “Ron's newest book [makes] it clear that all men were born with a God-given mission, a message to fulfill their divine design...this book will help your husband, brother, son, or nephew to transform their pain into power and their wounds into wisdom. Get this book into the hands of a broken man in your life and watch God show up.”—STEVE ARTERBURN, president of New Life Ministries and host of New Life Live!   To connect with Dr. Ron Archer, go to:   ONLINE - https://ronarcher.org/ https://www.drronarcher.com/   BOOKS - What Belief Can Do The Power of One Man: How God Uses Men Like You to Change the World     And don't forget, If you like what you hear, make sure you leave a review and share this podcast with the world. THANK YOU ahead of time. And as mentioned in the episode, if you are a leader looking to know your story, wiring, and how to cultivate healthy relationships at home, work and in your community, consider joining us for the 2023-2024 Wholehearted Leadership Cohort. Go to www.livingwholehearted.com to join the waitlist or apply in early January 2023. To connect with Jeff and Terra Mattson and Living Wholehearted, go to: Instagram @TerraMattson @Living_Wholehearted @MyCourageousGirls #living_wholeheartedpodcast #shrinkingtheintegritygap Facebook @MyCourageousGirls @WeAreLivingWholehearted Websites LivingWholehearted.com TerraMattson.com MyCourageousGirls.com     Resources Shrinking the Integrity Gap https://davidccook.org/shrinking-integrity-gap-book/ Shrinking the Integrity Gap e-Course https://www.livingwholeheartedstore.com/e-courses Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace https://mycourageousgirls.com/shop/p/book-courageous-being-daughters-rooted-in-grace Dear Mattsons https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdPzQ_cUwCbRc-MQ40KL3a6ze06CiY38l Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters http://cpguides.org/  

Do you have questions about the Bible? Dr. Michael Rydelnik will join Dawn and Steve in the Morning to take questions from listeners! Dr. Michael Rydelnik is a professor of Jewish Studies at Moody Bible Institute and the Bible teacher on Moody Radio's Open Line. Also this hour, author Stephen Arterburn discusses his book 100 Days to Freedom from Shame: Daily Devotional. Stephen Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries--the nation's largest faith-based broadcast, counseling, and treatment ministry--and is the host of the nationally syndicated "New Life Live!" daily radio program heard on over 180 radio stations nationwide. Steve is also the founder of the Women of Faith conferences, attended by over 3 million women. Steve is a nationally known public speaker and has been featured in national media venues. A best-selling author, Steve has written over 60 books. Steve has degrees from Baylor University and the University of North Texas as well as two honorary doctorate degrees. Steve resides with his family in Laguna Beach, California.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you have questions about the Bible? Dr. Michael Rydelnik will join Dawn and Steve in the Morning to take questions from listeners! Dr. Michael Rydelnik is a professor of Jewish Studies at Moody Bible Institute and the Bible teacher on Moody Radio's Open Line. Also this third hour, Stephen Arterburn gives us insight into The One Year Bible for Men. Stephen Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries--the nation's largest faith-based broadcast, counseling, and treatment ministry--and is the host of the nationally syndicated "New Life Live!" daily radio program heard on over 180 radio stations nationwide. Steve is also the founder of the Women of Faith conferences, attended by over 3 million women. Steve is a nationally known public speaker and has been featured in national media venues. Steve has degrees from Baylor University and the University of North Texas as well as two honorary doctorate degrees. Steve resides with his family in Laguna Beach, California.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you long for relief from the hold anger has on your life? Stephen Afterburn, founder and chairman of New Life Ministries will offer hope that release from anger’s grip is possible and offers some strategies that will lead to freedom on Wednesday’s Ken and Deb in the Morning. Learn some healthy ways to handle your disappointment and trauma, and discover how we can learn to grow in self-control as we tackle the struggle with anger in this hopeful conversation.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today on the Tim DeMoss Show our featured guest is Steve Arterburn! He's the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries--and the host of New Life Live on WFIL, weekdays 1–2pm (and 12-1am). To celebrate New Life Ministries as our Ministry of the Month, each weekday in August we're giving away Arterburn's book, 100 Days to Freedom from Fear and Anxiety which features 5-minute devotions on 100 topics, encouraging peace over fear--as well as thought-provoking and uplifting quotes, powerful prayers inspired by Scripture and relevant verses and study options. There's also a Grand-Prize including 2 tickets to Lumina, a new one-day women's event at the Museum of the Bible in Washington D.C. this November! Arterburn also shares about his two brand new books, Understanding and Loving Your Bonus Child and Understanding and Understanding and Loving Your Child As a Single Parent, both releasing tomorrow (Tuesday August 2).  (We learn Steve is an accomplished karaoke singer as well :)). Find out more about the radio ministry, Steve's books, the Lumina conference, this weekend's "Every Man's Battle" virtual conference (Saturday August 6) and much more at www.newlife.com. Sports Clips:Rob Thompson (Phillies interim manager)Alec Bohm (Phillies third baseman) Clips: Christian singer/songwriter Zach Williams Music: Zach Williams: Chain BreakerSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Today, Steve Arterburn is our guest on the Tim DeMoss Show. The author of the book, Friendship with God, shares more about the upcoming Rhine River Cruise, a New Life trip for 2022 aboard the AmaLucia. Those who join the cruise, will board the ship in Amsterdam and cruise south to Basel, Switzerland. New Life has chartered the entire ship with 78 cabins.  With music Featuring Newsboys who will be appearing at the upcoming 2022 Creation Festival in Shirleysburg PA, and new songs from ApologetiX. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this long-form conversation Steve Arterburn, founder and chairman of New Life Ministries, dives deep into his life’s journey through loss, grief, mental health issues, and shame and into freedom and redemption. He speaks frankly about his own experiences confronting abortion, human sexuality, homosexuality, and toxic leadership and abuse in the church. And he discusses some of his most-loved books including Healing is a Choice, Every Man’s Battle, and Toxic Faith, which he co-authored with Jack Felton. Steve Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries and host of the #1 nationally syndicated Christian counseling talk show, New Life Live!, heard and watched by over 2 million people each week. Steve is also the host of New Life TV, a web-based video channel dedicated to transforming lives through God’s truth, and the founder of the Women of Faith conferences attended by over 5 million people.

Helping You Win the War Within Before You Go To Battle for the ChurchThis jam-packed session with Pastor Steve Arterburn M Ed. is a must-watch event!About our Guest: Pastor Steve ArterburnMINISTRY:  Stephen Arterburn is a respected innovator dedicated to helping transform lives with God's truth all over the world.   In 1988 Arterburn founded New Life Treatment Centers, a venture-capital funded organization providing Christian psychiatric and addiction treatment in secular psychiatric hospitals. Because of the impact, growth, and profitability of this organization Stephen was awarded the Socially Responsible Entrepreneur of the Year by Ernst and Young, Merrill Lynch, and Inc. Magazine.  He quickly grew that extremely profitable organization to $100,000,000 in revenues before it was purchased by Thomas Nelson Publishers. At that time, he spun off “New Life Ministries” into the current, not-for-profit ministry producing the number-one syndicated Christian counseling talk show, “New Life Live”. Many people in remote locations say it is the only wise counsel available to them.New Life has maintained its focus on three principles since 1988: true truth, redemptive relationship and total transformation. New Life has a network of 1,000 Christian counselors and therapists around the country who help the thousands of people who call 800 NEWLIFE.  What used to be done in hospitals and treatment centers happens now in weekend intensives involving both therapists and speakers.  Every Man's Battle, Restore for women who have been betrayed, Emotional Freedom and Intimacy In Marriage are some of the intensive weekend events conducted by New Life. Steve Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NewLifeSteve/New Life Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/newlifemin/Steve Twitter: @SteveArterburnNew Life Twitter: @NewLifeInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/newlifelive/Instagram for Steve: https://www.instagram.com/therealstephenarterburn/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/newlifeliveLife Recovery Groups Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/liferecoverygroups/Life Recovery Groups Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/liferecoverygroups/

Join us for our final episode with Steven Arterburn.  We'll be discussing how you recover from your past.  How do you let go of those things you wish you hadn't done?  What do you do when those you love won't let go of them?

We're back with Steve Arterburn answering questions like, "What do you do when an affair hits home?  How do you recover from it?  What do you do when your spouse has an addiction?  Join us for more Hard Questions and Real Answers.

Join us for this episode with Author and Founder of New Life Ministries, Steve Arterburn.  What do you do when pornography has infiltrated your home?  What should you do to help your children or spouse overcome the traps of pornography?

This episode focuses specifically on leading the work of Africa New Life Ministries (ANLM) and highlights the roles and relationship of the two key leaders of the organization, Dr. Charles Mugisha (President and co-founder) and Alan Hotchkiss (U.S. Executive Director). The two share insights on mutual respect and trust in guiding both the U.S. and Rwandan sides of the organization, highlighting localization and partnership at its best.

We're back with our guest, Steve Arterburn.  He's the author of many books on battling pornography, such as "Every Man's Battle" and the Founder of New Life Ministries.  We're going to discuss how to prepare your family and your home to battle pornography and keep it at bay.

The Christian Outlook – April 4, 2020 Kevin McCullough talks with Dr. William Grace about a possible treatment for those infected with the Coronavirus. Dr. Albert Mohler talks about some pastor’s refusal to stop meeting in buildings putting their parishioners and the general public at risk. John Hall and Kathy Emmons talk with Jerry Bowyer about a troubling attitude toward those who are most vulnerable to the virus…the elderly. Don Kroah talks with Steve Arterburn, Founder/chairman of New Life Ministries & host of New Life Live! about coping in the times of COVID-19 and uncertainty. Frank Sontag and Bob Lepine, host of Family Life Today, talk about how God’s word helps us deal with the tough circumstances surrounding the Coronavirus crisis. Bob Burney talks about My Pillow founder Mike Lindell and his efforts to change from making pillows to making medical masks.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Don Kroah talks with Steve Arteburn, Founder/chairman of New Life Ministries & host of New Life Live! about coping in the times of COVID-19 and uncertainty. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Former NFL Player Garry "G" Cobb talks with Tim about last night's Philadelphia Eagles victory over the New York Giants. He talks about the Eagles's potential to get into the playoffs and his ongoing work to mentor and counsel former professional football players as well as people who are incarcerated. Later on in the show, Stephen Arterburn of New Life Ministries and the popular syndicated show, "New Life Live!", talks with Tim about his new book Kirby McCook and the Jesus Chronicles: A 12-year-olds Take on the Totally Unboring, Slightly Weird Stuff in the Bible, Including Fish Guts, Wrestling Moves, and Stinky Feet. Steve discusses his own Christian upbringing, the importance of reading and children development, and shares some of the funny, gross, and entertaining stories within each chapter of his new book. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Steve Arterburn, host of the Christian counseling show “New Life Live!” joins the program today. Heard weekdays on 200 stations nationwide (including on WFIL from 1pm-2pm for many years), Arterburn gives some backstory to how New Life Ministries (of which he is the Founder & Chairman) was formed before we jump into learning about the upcoming “Every Man’s Battle” conference (April 5-7 in the Philadelphia area). One of the main pillars New Life Ministries is built on is transformation, and as such, the conference is not just about “stopping” behavior; it’s about changing the trajectory of a man’s path in a God-pleasing direction. Arterburn, who is the teaching pastor in his home state of Indiana, is also the founder of the Women of Faith conferences, an author, and co-editor/producer of the Life Recovery Bible which has sold 3,000,000 copies and is on exhibit at the Museum of the Bible in Washington, D.C. He provides much wisdom and insight during the program today—the tip of the proverbial iceberg (the iceberg being what one would encounter at the “Every Man’s Battle” conference). Details available at wfil.com, newlife.com, or by calling 1 800 NEW-LIFE.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

GUESTSSegment 1: Stephen Arterburn, Founder/Chairman of New Life Ministries, joins the program sharing some insights regarding the upcoming A Night With New Life Live on Friday November 10th. The event convenes at 7PM at Christ Community Church of Milpitas, CA.Segment 2 - 3: Sam Rohrer, President of the American Pastors Netowrk, joins the program sharing insights on the American views on abortion, and the confusing factors.Segment 4: Pastor Stephen Converse of Grace Bible Church in Redwood city, and the host of Graceful Truth on KFAX, joins the program sharing insights on the upcoming EQUIP conference.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

So it would follow, now, even the definition of manhood could actually come into question also. Our guest today, Stephen Arterburn, provides us with a practical discussion on how to teach your sons the importance of manhood. Stephen Arterburn is the Founder and Chairman of New Life Ministries and host of the #1 nationally syndicated Christian counseling talk show New Life Live! Stephen is also the host of New Life TV, a web-based channel dedicated to transforming lives through God's truth. Stephen is the Founder of the Women of Faith conferences attended by over 5 million people. He also serves as a teaching pastor in Indianapolis, Indiana and the author of the popular book Every Man's Battle. Manhood in America Many are claiming there is a war on women. If you ask me, if there's a war on any gender, it is a war on men and manhood. As just one small example: Other than “All in the Family,”and that being a TV show produced well over 40 years ago, can you imagine watching a sitcom today and not seeing a male belittled—or even physically strike a female? Not going to happen. But, it's common fare today for males—particularly for those portraying what should be the epitome of manhood, i.e., Dads to be belittled and mocked regularly. It's not uncommon at all to see men slapped around and punched by women. That's considered funny. And, when men try to be chivalrous, they're criticized. When they're not chivalrous enough, they're criticized. Men don't know whether to spit or wind their watches today. And I don't think they even know what it means to be a man anymore. Don't misunderstand me; I'm not discounting the abuse perpetrated against females by males, that's alive and well today—but that isn't manhood! Today's guest helps us understand what it means to be a man, as well as: How to respond to the culture's current focus on gender fluidity. How can someone argue from the stance of the Bible? The underestimated role of faith. How do we advise our kids to respond to the challenge on their stance on manhood? The importance of solidifying your stance of biblical principle. Picture provided by Kheel Center.