PLAYING-IT-SAFE

In part 1 of my conversation with Monica Basco, Ph.D., Exploring the intersection of perfectionism, procrastination, and performance, we discussed the following topics:Perfectionism and high-achieving behaviorsUnderstanding the impact of high goalsThe role of confidence in goal settingThe intersection of perfectionism and procrastinationIn this second part of our conversation, Monica kindly shared her transition from academia to the White House as an introduction to the focus of this episode: the intersection of perfectionism and imposter phenomenon.Perfectionists set exceptionally high standards for themselves, displaying a relentless drive to achieve what they perceive as flawless outcomes. However, when these standards are not met, it can lead to feelings of failure and inadequacy. Even when they succeed, perfectionists may fear that others will see through their façade, further perpetuating the imposter phenomenon.A highlight of our conversation is the importance of discerning when perfectionistic actions are an asset and when they become a liability.Key TakeawaysPerfectionism and imposter phenomenonExploring imposter phenomenonPerfectionism and self-expectationsOvercoming imposter syndromeThe transition from academia to governmentPerfectionism in different contextsBalancing perfectionism and fear of failureDistinguishing when to turn on and off perfectionistic actionsShow notes with time-stamps00:00 The Intersection of Perfectionism and Imposter Phenomenon05:03 Personal Story: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome10:10 Transition from Academia to the White House16:12 The Role of Perfectionism in Government and Science18:23 Fear of Failure and Perfectionism22:52 How Different Fears Influence Behavior(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Drop your standards! Let go of your perfectionistic tendencies!If I were paid a dollar every time I heard this message, I would have a large bank account by now.When you're pursuing a top performance – from athletic to intellectual to artistic ones – it's fundamental that you distinguish those common principles that improve your performance and your well-being altogether.In this episode, Brad Stulberg and I discussed research-based skills to deal with high-achieving and striving behaviors in a skillful manner and without losing yourself. Key TakeawaysHow to distinguish when perfectionistic actions are working for you or against youThe difference between values-based goals and ego-driven goalsHow to avoid burnout in the information eraHow to manage your proneness to perfectionistic actionsDay-to-day experiences of experiential avoidanceTips to handle the fear of failureHow to figure out what is on the other side of your fearsHow to practice self-compassion when handling our fearsShow notes with time stamps00:31 Understanding Fear-Based Reactions01:02 Overcoming Perfectionism01:36 Interview with Brad Stulberg: High Achieving and Striving Behaviors02:19 Reflecting on Your Life and Overcoming Overthinking03:28 Living According to Your Values04:10 Using a Values-Based Review to Live the Life You Want04:46 Conversation with Brad Stulberg: Balancing Productivity and Wellbeing05:43 Understanding the Double-Edged Sword of Optimization08:44 Dealing with Fear of Failure and Regret17:48 Navigating Ego-Driven Goals and Values-Based Goals24:09 Overcoming Experiential Avoidance(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Perfectionism isn't a personality quirk. It's a pattern of reinforced behaviors that can seep into every aspect of your life.You may set certain standards for yourself, certain rules about how things are supposed to be or how you are supposed to behave; while you may meet those standards for a while, they eventually - and inevitably - fall short. Then, you feel crushed. Then, you criticize yourself. And then, to drown out the negativity, you set new goals, standards, and expectations for yourself. The cycle of ineffective perfectionistic actions repeats and maintains itself.There is nothing wrong with striving to do things right and perfectly - that's natural when you deeply care about things and what matters to you. And, as you have heard me say before, it's extremely important that you learn to harness the power of perfectionistic actions without losing yourself. In this podcast episode, I chat with Monica Basco, Ph.D. We discuss specific topics related to perfectionism in detail:(a) A large part of the conversation clarifies how having high standards and being perfectionistic can be both, beneficial and detrimental, and finding the balance between the two is crucial.(b) We also discussed the interplay between perfectionistic behaviors and procrastination as two sides of the same coin.(c) Monica and I highlighted the fact that setting high-goals is productive when one can tolerate failure. However, learning to pursue what matters and learning to let things go - as the right thing to do - is also important.(d) Finally, we discuss ideas for you to conduct a functional analysis, or in other words, we discuss key questions for you to understand your drive to engage in perfectionistic actions (e.g., what is my mind trying to protect me from right now?)Key TakeawaysDiscussing perfectionism and high-achieving behaviorsUnderstanding the impact of high goalsThe role of confidence in goal settingThe intersection of perfectionism and procrastinationShow notes with time-stamps01:00 Understanding Fear and Perfectionism01:31 Dealing with Perfectionism and High-Achieving Behaviors02:35 Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Perfectionism04:14 Setting Goals and Dealing with Failure05:12 Understanding Overachievement and Expectations08:37 Dealing with Rejection and Pursuing Goals20:43 Understanding the Intersection of Perfectionism and Procrastination(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today's episode takes off with discussing fears of driving. This is the starting point to discuss a key process within acceptance commitment therapy: values-based exposures.In this episode, you will learn the principles to approach your fears, worries, and anxieties in a flexible way and in the service of your values.Brian Thompson, Ph.D. and I covered different ACT skills such as defusion, values, willingness and what you can do if you're getting stuck in conquering your fears or you're afraid of starting the process of facing your anxieties.Key TakeawaysWhat is willingnessHow to deal with uncertaintyWhat to do when you're powering through a fearful situationWhat is exposureUnderstanding fear-based reactions and safe behaviorsExploring the concept of exposure in overcoming fearDealing with physical sensations during fearful situationsThe role of acceptance and commitment therapy in overcoming fearUnderstanding the concept of willingness in therapyAddressing fear of uncertainty and unpredictabilityIntroduction to the upcoming book on act-informed exposure for anxietyUnderstanding act and exposureDealing with chronic worryEffective problem solving vs. worryShow notes with time stamps00:31 Understanding Fear-Based Reactions and Safe Behaviors01:00 Exploring Exposure Therapy and Anxiety01:09 Dealing with Physical Sensations During Panic Attacks02:44 Strategies to Manage Anxiety and Fear03:39 Addressing Intrusive Thoughts and Fears04:16 Understanding Acceptance and Commitment Therapy07:33 Exploring Willingness in Therapy14:28 Addressing Fear of Uncertainty17:28 Introduction to ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety19:19 Discussing the Book and Its Approach19:44 Recommendations for Approaching the Book19:45 Understanding the Process of Exposure20:38 The Role of Repetition in Exposure21:37 Handling Chronic Worries and Ruminations22:12 Using ACT for Chronic Worry23:11 Writing Imaginal Scripts for Worries26:13 Effective Problem Solving vs. Worry26:50 Distinguishing Between Productive and Unproductive Worry(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ever catch yourself engaging in incessant mind chatter in a high-stakes situation? The kind that fills your head with self-doubt, comparisons, and anticipations of failure? You're not alone. We all do it. But what if there was a way to overcome these self-limiting beliefs and embrace life's challenges with confidence? I had a chance to talk to Dr. Mitchell Greene, Ph.D. regarding performance anxiety, managing self-doubt, and comparison thoughts among athletes or overthinkers. If you have been following the podcast, you know by now that by making room for your thoughts, rather than struggling against them, you can redirect your focus towards the present moment and towards what matters. In today's episode, we discussed other micro-skills to manage mental chatter with curiosity and courage. Key TakeawaysThe pitfalls of positive thinkingManaging mind chatterHow to shift your attention from hypothetical worries to the present momentRedirecting your attention from “what if” to “what is”How to manage lapses in confidenceA useful mindset to perform challenging tasksExploring the concept of positive thinkingUnderstanding mind chatter and its impactStrategies for managing mind chatterApplying mind chatter management in real-life scenarios(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Picture this scenario: you encounter an ambiguous and uncertain situation, and then, of course, you quickly try to solve it. You anticipate all types of scenarios and try to prepare for each one of them, without realizing you are worrying and consumed with anxiety.Worry is primarily a thought-based process, and that's what makes it tricky. Unpacking worry thoughts and distinguishing the unhelpful from the helpful ones are crucial.We all worry from time to time, that's unavoidable. But playing-it-safe by worrying all the time takes a hefty toll on your well-being, happiness, and relationships.In this episode, I interview Dr. Chad Lejeune, Ph.D.We discussed the subtleties of worrying, what keeps worry cycles, and the importance of developing a new relationship with your mind. In the second part of the interview, I shared with Chad an unexpected situation I encountered when traveling, and we used that as an opportunity to discuss micro-skills to manage uncertainty, what-if thoughts, and reassurance-seeking and information-seeking behaviors.Key TakeawaysHow to develop a new relationship with thinkingHow to distinguish effective problem-solving from ineffective oneUnderstanding fear and anxietyDefining worry and its impactThe role of thoughts in worryDistinguishing between productive and nonproductive worryThe consequences of worryAddressing beliefs about worryChanging our relationship with our thoughtsDealing with unexpected situationsEmbracing uncertainty and ambiguityThe anxious brain and uncertaintyProductive thoughts and problem-solvingThe power of narratives and storytellingThe distinction between problem-solving and creating narrativesThe danger of excessive information-seekingThe power of accepting uncertaintyThe importance of learning from the pastShow notes with time stamps00:27 Understanding Fear and Anxiety01:26 Defining Worry and Its Impact02:27 Distinguishing Between Worry and Problem-Solving05:50 The Consequences of Worry06:43 Addressing Beliefs About Worry11:27 Changing Our Relationship with Our Thoughts17:41 Practical Example: Dealing with Unexpected Situations22:59 The Power of Productive Thoughts23:56 The Mind's Narratives and Their Impact25:46 The Distinction Between Problem Solving and Worrying28:15 The Power of Acceptance and Living in the Present28:20 The Pitfalls of Excessive Information Seeking29:12 The Role of Google in Reassurance Seeking32:29 The Importance of Embracing Uncertainty(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all experience anxiety in some form, in some way, and in some shape. Because anxiety, fears, and worries can be so uncomfortable, we quickly play-it-safe. And when you're prone to deeply caring for what you do - as high-achievers, strivers, and perfectionists - then the fears of being a failure or not being good enough are amplified.In this conversation, Annick Seys and I discussed the many layers in which these fears show up and how nourishing your observer-self can shift from self-criticism into self-acceptance, from self-judgment into self-compassion, and from emotional avoidance into curious behaviors.Cultivating your observer-self isn't just about self-distancing; it is about your well-being and living a purpose-driven life.Key TakeawaysHow to deal with the gap between expectations and realityHow to practice self-acceptanceHow to unpack the fear of being a failure in the momentHow to understand the fear of being a failureThe problem with toxic positivityRelational Frame Theory of LanguageHow to nourish your observer-selfUnderstanding the observer-selfThe power of curiositySelf-compassion on-the-goShow notes with time stamps00:31 Understanding Fear-Based Reactions01:00 The Struggles of Time Management01:07 Dealing with Disappointments and Failures05:31 Exploring Self-Acceptance06:01 The Ongoing Exercise of Self-Acceptance11:45 Unpacking the Fear of Failure14:12 The Impact of Toxic Positivity17:47 Tapping into the Observer Self18:01 Exercises to Connect with the Observer Self20:50 Understanding the Observer Self24:03 Experiencing Different Moods26:11 Relating to Past Experiences29:59 Overcoming the Fear of Failure(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you find yourself anxiously anticipating rejection in everyday situations?The fear of being rejected or judged leads to a hyper-awareness of others' facial expressions, opinions, or anticipation of rejection. It's like you're expecting others will reject you and interpret a situation using those lenses. This interplay between rejection sensitivity and anxiety influences how you navigate your relationships.Understanding the root of rejection sensitivity and its connection to anxiety is pivotal to stop playing-it-safe automatically.In today's episode, I interview Ozlem Ayduk, Ph.D.We delve deeper into the psychological processes behind rejection sensitivity and anxiety. You will hear practical strategies to break free from the shackles of rejection sensitivity and anxiety.Key TakeawaysSelf-distancingRejection sensitivityWhat maintains rejection sensitivityThe relationship between experiential avoidance and rejection sensitivityHow ambiguous situations are triggers for responses driven by rejection sensitivityThe use of self-talk Is it helpful to be highly sensitive in certain contexts? When and where? The upsides or benefits of high emotional sensitivityCan someone struggle with rejection sensitivity without a history of rejection? The intersection of emotion regulation and rejection sensitivityIs rejection sensitivity dysphoria different or the same as rejection sensitivity?FREE VALUES-BASED REVIEW (21-PAGES)How often do you play-it-safe? How often do you get stuck in your head? How often do you notice a gap between the life you want to live and the life you're living? You aren't alone.When dealing with doubts, worries, anxieties, or fears, it's quite likely that you spend a lot of time in your head, thinking and thinking and relying on all types of strategies to manage all those anxious thoughts.If you're ready to get out of your head and break free from those barriers that stand between you and the life you want to live, this practical 21-page guide will help you get back on track!If you're like many others, you may wonder, “how does one actually get back on track?” Here is my response: You check your values and how you have been living with them. When was the last time you paused and asked yourself: Am I doing what matters? Am I living my values in my relationships, career, friendships, and spiritual life?The reality is that most of us live life letting life happen to us, and if we're lucky, we figure out what's truly important to us and what we want to stand for. So, another way to check how we're really living is by pausing, checking what truly matters to you, and whether your actions are congruent with those values or not.Here is a 21-page template you can use; it includes a description of 9 life areas, a values thesaurus, a values-dashboard, and reflective prompts for each area in your life.Click here: ​https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Values-based-review-2021.pdf(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Self-compassion is the willingness to respond to your pain and suffering in the same way a good friend of yours might–with warmth, patience, and understanding. That sounds easy, right? But you know it isn't.For many, self-criticism is a classic playing-it-safe move. It's like your mind is a champion at criticizing you in response to those moments in which you feel anxious about something that has happened or could happen.Which of the following fear statements resonate with you?If I'm kind to myself, I will become a weak person.I need to be hard on myself or I will never get everything done.I don't deserve kindness.A harsh approach keeps me from making mistakes or keeps me disciplined.Self-criticism motivates me all the time.Ask yourself: “Am I afraid of compassion?”In this episode, I chat with Paul Gilbert, the developer of Compassion Focused Therapy.Key TakeawaysThe beginnings of Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)4 steps to compassionately deal with your inner criticThe difference between shame and guiltHow to approach self-forgivenessThe intersection of self-compassion and exposure practicesPaul Gilbert's self-compassion daily practiceWhat to do if your mind thinks that “self-compassion is weak, it is being permissive with yourself, or that you're letting yourself off the hook.”How to deal compassionately with anger(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It was a true pleasure to discover the work and passion of Sonya Looney; her enthusiasm, laughs, and insights are contagious!There are many golden nuggets in this conversation about skillfully managing comparison thoughts, rumination, self-doubt, shame, values-based strategies, and much more. Key TakeawaysThe mindset of an athleteThe upsides and downsides of over-preparing and over-workingHow to skillfully manage unpredictabilityAcceptance of emotionsHow to deal with a strong attachment to goals or winningDefusion: thought - labelingGoodhart's lawHow to manage physical fatigue using acceptance & defusion skillsHow to go back to your values when your mind gets noisyHow to manage comparison thoughtsABC of resilience(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is part 2 of my conversation with Dr. Matthew McKay, Ph.D. In part 1, we discussed the foundations of how Dr. McKay thinks of process-based therapy. Today, we discuss, in particular, different mechanisms of action:What is attentional trainingHow to look at your values when getting stressedHow to practice acceptance How to handle uncertaintyHow reassurance-seeking shows up in our day-to-day lifeShow notes: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/how-to-promote-behavioral-change-when-feeling-anxious/(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: Subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If anxiety is a part of our day to day life, if we hold on to the framework that to be human is to be anxious, how did anxiety ever become a problem? How do you go from worrying about not being good enough to chronic states of worry? How do you go from feeling uncomfortable taking the elevator to developing an elevator phobia?What maintains a psychological struggle? And what are the skills – the core skills – that you can learn to navigate those anxious moments and get back into your life?Short-term fixes that help us avoid or numb our emotions may temporarily alleviate our internal discomfort, but the same responses can also end up causing anxiety, depression, chronic anger, and even physical health problems.In this episode, I chat with Matthew Mckay, Ph.D.Key Takeaways:The difference between rumination and worryRepetitive negative thinking as a processWhat is a transdiagnostic processHow anxiety becomes a problem in our lifeWhat is a safety-seeking behaviorProcess-based changesShow notes: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/what-maintains-a-psychological-struggle/(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/Do you remember last week when your mind was criticizing you and asking you to play-it-safe?Using Acceptance and Commitment Skills, you are always invited to bring awareness to your internal experiences, especially when you are feeling stuck in a habit or unhelpful behavioral patterns such as overthinking, procrastinating, or others. You are also invited to figure out your values and take action toward what truly matters to you.In this episode, Julian McNally, Ms. Psych., and I discuss those values-based actions when your mind tries to convince you to engage in old behavioral patterns.Key TakeawaysCreative HopelessnessValues-based behaviorsValues-based exposuresNotice approaching versus avoidant behaviorsHow to practice acceptance of messy momentsFocus on your doing your best, not being the bestFocusing on what is happening right now instead of why is happening.(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/When was the last time you had a social mishap in a conversation? Do you remember how it feels to say the wrong thing at the wrong time?If you're a shy person or are struggling with social anxiety or social perfectionism, you are holding onto the beliefs that you must sound smart, interesting, or funny; that there should never be awkward silences in conversations; that you shouldn't stumble over words; that you should never mispronounce a word.Ways that you may manage those thoughts and the anxiety that come with them are by avoiding social situations, rehearsing over and over what you are going to say and how you are saying it, only talking to people you feel comfortable with, or comparing your social performance with others' social performance.When you are unable to meet this perfectionistic social standard, you feel that you have failed. But the truth is that none of us can live up to this perfectionistic social standard or have perfect social performances. When we start to accept this and stop automatically playing-it-safe, we feel better about ourselves and have less anxiety in social situations.In this conversation with Julian McNally, we discussed acceptance and commitment skills for anxiety related to social situations.Key TakeawaysHow to live your valuesHow to practice commitmentPlaying-it-safe How to manage negativity biasesHow to deal with comparison thoughtsContext sensitivity(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/Our minds are amazing at many, many things. Our minds are capable of remembering the birthday of the ones we love, calculating a budget for our next trip, thinking about our next writing project, and coming up with questions for a podcast. Our minds are also capable of ruminating, dwelling, coming up with strange thoughts, announcing all types of bad scenarios, and many more …why are our minds both so awesome and so challenging to deal with at times? How can we skillfully and effectively deal with our busy minds?In today's episode, I interview Josh Malina, host of the podcast “Anxiety Book Club.” We discuss the different ways in which our minds influence our physical and mental health and the different approaches to dealing with them.Josh and I discuss how mindfulness and meditation can help us deal with our busy minds; he points out different times in which anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and worry thoughts took him away from being present and pushed him to play-it-safe.You will hear from Josh how regular mindfulness practice has helped him transform his relationship with his thoughts, become an observer of his thoughts, and be non-judgmental of his worries, fears, and anxieties.We discuss in particular three practices: exposure exercises, acceptance and commitment skills, and internal family systems.I leave you with this quote:“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've or would've happened… Or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.”– Tupac ShakurKey TakeawaysWhat is OCDWhat is Generalized Anxiety DisorderWhat is Internal Family SystemsWhat is perspective takingValuesExposure therapyTalk therapyTranscendental meditationChoiceless meditationMBSREpisode's show notes: https://wp.me/pbqmzq-c0v(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/When was the last time you had an aha moment in which your next steps were clear? Do you remember how it is to be in the midst of a difficult situation, and then, have clarity of what you need to do?If you pay attention to your experiences, you may notice those aha moments in which your choices are clear - you will be able to clearly see what you are longing for or the changes you need to make in your life.Without that awareness, it's easier to play-it-safe, live automatically, and continue to respond to all those anxieties, worries, and fears in the same way you have been doing for years.One way to build that awareness is through the practice of mindfulness.In this conversation, Seth Gillihan, Ph.D. and I discuss how to nourish your mindfulness practice. In a world that moves so fast, and there are hundreds of mindfulness apps, books on mindfulness, and mindfulness teachers, it is easy to develop misconceptions surrounding the practice of mindfulness or to hope for a quick fix with it. But how can you really cultivate your mindfulness practice in your daily life? Key TakeawaysHow to approach mindfulness with a beginner's mindThe intersection of Christianity and mindfulnessTips to practice mindfulness in your day-to-day lifeHow to use movement as a way to practice mindfulnessHow to bring yourself back to the present when your mind is wanderingThe intersection of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and mindfulnessHow to coach yourself to recognize thoughts as thoughts versus getting consumed by themHow to practice non-attachment to how things are supposed to beThe relationship between non-attachment and mindfulnessHow looking for evidence for and against a worry may not be helpfulHow to use mindfulness skills to manage worry The benefits of developing an observer-selfEpisode's show notes: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/how-to-practice-mindfulness-in-the-middle-of-it-all/(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/In this second part of my conversation with Andrew Nalband, we discussed in detail how he manages all the noise that shows up in his head, what has worked, and what hasn't when dealing with a tendency to do things right and perfectly.Key TakeawaysWhy meditation/mindfulness practices matterThe influence of cell phones on our thinkingThe difference between cognitive restructuring and acceptanceA key question to ask yourself when your mind comes up with a lot of thoughtsThe impact of “positive thinking” in our wellbeingHow to practice mindfulness on-the-goShow notes: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/the-upsides-and-downsides-of-perfectionism-part-2/(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/There is nothing wrong with striving to do things right and perfectly. It depends on how often you do it, when you do it, and how it works in your life in the long run.What is unhealthy is demanding perfectionism, which involves demanding that you are perfect and do things perfectly, otherwise, you may think of yourself as unworthy, not good enough, or a screw-up. Those particular patterns of perfectionistic actions can generate much anxiety, depression, loneliness, and insurmountable levels of stress, even when it feels good to do things right and perfectly in the moment.Andrew Nalband is the Chief Executive Officer at Thunk Notes, a tool for thinking and journaling. In this conversation, Andrew genuinely and kindly shares his struggles with perfectionism, and how he skillfully manages them these days.Key TakeawaysThe raw version of how perfectionistic actions show upThe plus, benefits, and cons of perfectionistic actionsHow perfectionistic actions show up in all areas of lifeIf-then thoughtsHow to hold our mind lightly The beginnings of practicing mindfulnessHow to cultivate presence in your day-to-day life(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/Stress is nearly unavoidable in our daily lives. Unexpected things can happen to all of us, and often, we may choose to play-it-safe by working harder and harder, doing more and more.I am sharing today an interview with Espree Devora. Espree has been recently featured in INC Magazine as one of the top 30 women in tech to follow and is known as “The Girl Who Gets it Done.”Key Takeaways:How to find your own rhythms to navigate stressful momentsHow to get things done without losing yourselfHow to keep yourself accountable without being harsh with one's selfHow to practice distress tolerance skills on-the-go(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/Have you ever been struggling emotionally and a partner, colleague or caregiver overlooked you or made you feel worse? “I would have never let that happen,” is uttered or implied. Or an important other misses your emotional needs altogether and just focuses on themselves. When this invalidation or dismissal happens in a key relationship or two repeatedly over years, it can create a trauma of omission. It's about what you are not getting so you don't know you are missing it. One learns: “No one is going to help me when I feel like a failure, excluded or down. I have to turn my feelings off on my own.” Abandoning your inner emotional life in service of what others are comfortable with or what your professional culture rewards. In this episode, you will learn about chronic misattunement and how, instead of playing-it-safe by avoiding or placating, you can learn skills of self-care and how to ask for your needs to be met with the people that matter. Attunement is to show interest in another's world. How they've been impacted by something they've experienced and what that experience means to them. I interviewed Kelly Werner Ph.D., who kindly shares her understanding and approach to struggles driven by chronic misattunement. Key TakeawaysWhat is chronic misattunement?Playing-it-safe moves related to chronic misattunementHow chronic misattunement shows up in relationshipsA.T.T.U.N.E (acronym) Process to heal from chronic misattunement About Kelly Werner, Ph.D.Kelly Werner, Ph.D. is deeply committed to helping people lead flourishing lives. Through therapy and executive coaching with individuals (www.sf-act.com), as well as leading global trainings with the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute (born at Google) (www.siyli.org) and the United Nations, she gives people tools to connect with their deepest wisest self to heal their inner landscape and effectively take action in the outer world. “Tell Me…” (her authentic conversation game) facilitates self-discovery, connection and trust with family, friends and workplace teams (www.tellmethegame.com).More information on this episode: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/how-to-develop-emotional-attunement/(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/Have you ever gone to the emergency room?Have you ever thought of how emergency doctors face stress?Have you ever considered how an emergency doctor manages anxiety as part of their work life?Today, I'm sharing with you the interview with Dr. Mark Hoffman, M.D., a board certified emergency physician, with over 30 years of practice.It was a treat to hear from Dr. Hoffman on how he:Manages stress when taking care of multiple patients at onceMakes decisions when working with patients with acute conditionsDeals with interpersonal stressPerforms a “mental triage”Juggles all tasks-medical and administrative-during his work shiftsAre the best E.R. doctors the best jugglers?What can we learn from them?What can you learn from them?(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/Can't make up your mind about marrying your girlfriend or not? Can't make up your mind about the TV you need to buy? Can't make up your mind about staying or quitting your job?If the prospect of making a decision makes you feel overwhelmed and paralyzed, then you need to listen to this episode!In this episode, Dr. Sally Winston, Psy.D. and I discuss the processes behind making a decision and what keeps you stuck when having to make a choice. Quite often, when facing these dilemmas, we play-it-safe by overthinking, dwelling, or ruminating, and end up putting ourselves into analysis-paralysis: thinking a lot about a choice without taking action. If you're in the habit of not making a choice, you may be dealing with chronic indecisiveness, which is more than ordinary indecisions. Key TakeawaysThe processes behind chronic indecisionHow to nurture experiential knowledgeWise mindThe limitations of pros and consHow to nurture a wise mind(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/How often do you assume the worst-case-scenario when facing a difficult situation?When was the last time someone invited you to a party, and you started worrying about it months in advance?Do you stress about situations that have not happened yet?Anybody can learn how our minds work and how to work with them. When we are dealing with worries, anxieties, fears, we all play-it-safe. You might be playing it safe. If you get stuck thinking of doom and gloomy scenarios, you may find yourself asking others what to do in order for you to not make any more mistakes.In this episode, I interview Dr. Sally Winston, Psy.D., an anxiety expert. She and I discuss different skills to manage those thoughts - the future-oriented ones - and those moments in which you get stuck in imagination. As you listen to this episode, you will learn actionable skills to stop worrying about what might happen and live fully in the moment. Key TakeawaysWhat is anticipatory anxietyHow to handle those moments when your imagination hijacks youThree different levels of fearThe difference between rumination and planningHow to shift from “what if” to “what is”Dr. Winston's metaphor of how to handle uncertaintyThe opposite of uncertainty … is not what you think it is …MetacognitionsProductive thinking versus unproductive thinking(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/This is part 2 of my interview with Todd Kashdan, Ph.D.Key TakeawaysHow to persuade others skillfullyHow intolerance and speed of uncertainty feed into rigid thinkingThe connection between persuasion skills and acceptance and commitment skillsThe difference between task-oriented problem solving and relationship problemsWhat is cognitive diversity and how it plays in our group interactionsHow to use cognitive defusion when dealing with interpersonal difficultiesWhy viewpoint diversity is goodHow to spark curiosity, not fearHow to build stronger alliances during conflict(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/Have you ever played-it-safe by keeping your opinions to yourself?When was the last time you felt afraid of social rejection that you did not say what you really thought about a topic in fear of rocking the boat?How often do you play-it-safe by placating and going along with others' opinions so you are liked by others?Group thinking, agreeing quickly with others, avoiding sharing our opinions, or making sure we don't rock the boat are the many ways in which we play-it-safe when dealing with fears of rejection, not being liked, or not belonging in a group. But how do those playing-it-safe moves work in our relationships with others and our relationship with ourselves? When is it effective to minimize interpersonal conflict, and when is it not? How and when do we examine our beliefs about how things should be? How do we avoid cognitive rigidity?In this conversation with Dr. Todd Kashdan, Ph.D., he shares his research on persuasion, healthy dissentment, group thinking, and skills to handle conflict that go beyond assertiveness training. Key Takeaways:How group thinking leads us to “underseen” or “overseen” social situations or any other mattersWhat is healthy resentmentSkills to handle cognitive rigidityThe basics of the science of persuasionHow intolerance of uncertainty plays a role in our thinkingWhy people in disadvantage still support leaders that don't favor themThe case of Evo Morales, the former president of Bolivia, and how group thinking created a different image of his government(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/Have you ever been caught in a spiral of self-criticism? When was the last time your inner critic took over your day? We all have stories we've created about ourselves - some of them positive and some of them negative. If you suffer from low self-esteem, your story may include these types of narratives: “I'm a failure,” “I'll never be able to do that,” or “if only I were smarter or more attractive, I could be happy.” Dealing effectively with your inner critic doesn't happen overnight, but if you learn compassionate, evidence-based and actionable skills to handle all those stories, to relate to them skillfully, you can learn to accept yourself as you are and not as who you wish to be.Key TakeawaysIn this conversation, Dr. Joe Oliver, Ph.D. and I discussed:What is self-esteemHow to handle self-criticismDefusion: thanking your mindHow to notice when you're entangled with your mindHow to notice and catch your playing-it-safe movesThe story behind his bookDealing with the monsters of the negative stories with dignity and respectEpisode notes: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/how-to-boost-your-self-esteem/(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/Resilience is usually understood as the process and the outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences (American Psychological Association (APA)).In the information era, being exposed to all types of stressors is the norm and not the exception. We may struggle to learn how to deal with a world that moves fast, pressures us in many different directions, and a world in which hundreds of things are outside of our control.In this podcast episode, I discuss with Dennis Relojo-Howell the ways in which he became resilient and the different ways to nourish resilient practices.Dennis is a social entrepreneur, speaker, and resilience researcher, originally born in the Philippines. In 2014, he founded Psychreg, an award-winning media project dedicated to keeping everyone informed about psychology, mental health, and wellness.In this conversation, Dennis shared:- How he overcame growing up in a stressful environment- How he learned to pursue what matters in the midst of social stressors- How he uses creative writing as a resilient practice(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/60% of people dealing with depression are likely to be dealing with anxiety. If you're anxious, you are also likely to be depressed.In the case of fear-based struggles, it is much more common to struggle with different types of fears than a single one. So if you're dealing with attacks, it's also possible that you're dealing with chronic worry, or if you're dealing with chronic worry, it's also possible that you're struggling with fears of public speaking. Traditional CBT focuses on treating a disorder such as social anxiety or depression. The problem with focusing on a single disorder is that the root cause of those struggles is not addressed.A core characteristic of ACT is to focus on teaching you psychological skills to increase your well-being, mental health, and the quality of your life. Instead of focusing on a diagnosis, ACT tackles the drivers of that particular diagnosis; therefore, ACT by nature is what is called a process-based model. In this conversation Joseph Ciarrochi, Ph.D. and I discuss:The different psychological processes that are part of any struggle we deal with.The relationship between psychological processes and evolution.The importance of variation, selection, retention and context as drivers of changesThe challenges of letting go of “all those stories about who we are.”The importance of paying attention to our physiological responses when getting stuck(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/Self-criticism is a classic playing-it-safe move. We criticize ourselves as a way to think that we're going to be able to control the situation, control ourselves, and control circumstances in order to feel safe. How does it really work for you when you spend hours and hours criticizing yourself? How does it really work when you try to motivate yourself by being harder and harder with yourself? But what if instead of spending hours and hours of criticizing, negatively judging, and putting yourself down, you learn skills to treat yourself with kindness, gentleness, and care as you would treat others?In this episode, I interview Dr. Dennis Tirch, Ph.D. Dr. Dennis Tirch founded the Center for Compassion-Focused Therapy in the USA. He has been described as one of the country's foremost experts on CFT and the psychology of compassion.Dr. Tirch is the author of 6 books and numerous chapters and peer-reviewed articles on mindfulness, acceptance, and compassion in psychotherapy.With Dr. Laura Silberstein-Tirch and others, Dr. Tirch is currently developing a research protocol involving behavioral science and CFT for treating anxiety, worry, and fear-based difficulties through compassionate courage cultivation. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/Are you an overachiever?Some perfectionistic traits - e.g., being hardworking or paying attention to details - can be extremely handy. But what happens when you don't do things in moderation and feel compelled to do more and more, do everything right, and avoid mistakes?In this episode, I chat with Clarissa Ong, Ph.D., about her work on perfectionism.We discussed in detail:The coherence trapMeta-awareness: awareness about awarenessExposure exercises as awareness exercisesMotivational flexibility Uncertainty workoutsSelf-compassion practices(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To be human is to experience worry, fear, anxiety, and stress. To be human is to play-it-safe.But how do you handle those internal reactions when encountering life-threatening situations?What if being exposed to those unusual situations is part of your day-to-day life?Today, I share a special interview with Lance Morrison, former Captain Police Officer.You will hear different micro-skills Lance uses to handle life-threatening situations such as:Focusing on one thing at a time.Compassion-based responsesFocusing on what mattersExercising(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(*) Receive weekly science-based, compassionate and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe: subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/This is a super special interview with one of my favorite colleagues and author, Jonathan Kaplan, author of “Urban Mindfulness.”In this conversation we discussed:One of Jonathan's favorite mindfulness exercises: sending warm wishes to people around youWhy playing-it-safe behaviors are naturalWhat is a playing-it-safe moveTwo skills to distinguish effective playing-it-safe moves from ineffective onesHow to handle uncertaintyHow to handle ruling-thoughts about thinking (metacognitions)In the middle of the conversation, you will hear me practicing “how to say” one of my favorite words in English, and one of Jonathan's favorite jokes related to anxiety and playing-it-safe. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/Have you ever felt anxious when driving?Have you ever had a panic attack?Have you ever felt an unexpected tingling sensation in your arm?Do you know how it feels when running a marathon?Have you ever pushed your body beyond your limits?In all those scenarios, it's quite likely you're going to experience some form of bodily-based sensation, and naturally, your brain is going to “make sense of it” by either perceiving it as a threat or as an insignificant sensation.If your brain perceives those sensations as a threat, it will naturally push you to play-it-safe.In this conversation with Dr. Diana Hill, you will learn specific skills to handle those uncomfortable bodily sensations, slow down, and fundamentally choose your response. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/In today's episode of the Playing-It-Safe podcast, Dr. Z. and Lou Lasprugrato, MFT, discuss the various Acceptance and Commitment Skills (ACT) and how they apply to our day-to-day life.ACT skills are applicable not just for therapy or coaching but as a way of living life. At the end of the day, real change happens by taking action, one action after another. What we discussed with Lou Lasprugato:How playing-it-safe moves are part of our day-to-day lifeWhat is perspective-taking or self-as-context within the ACT model4 ways to think about self-as-contextHow to make values-based choices on-the-goHow the 6 ACT processes are intertwined What's aversive and what's appetitive when looking at your actionsAbout Lou LasprugatoLou Lasprugato is a psychotherapist in California and Virginia, a Peer-Reviewed Trainer in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and a teacher of mindfulness meditation. Lou has facilitated workshops internationally on ACT. He earned his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology, with a specialization in Holistic Studies from Lesley University, Cambridge, MA, following a career as a professional musician. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Michael P. Twohig, Ph.D. is the co-director of the ACT Research Group, a licensed psychologist in the state of Utah, and a Professor of Psychology at Utah State University.In this episode, I chat with Michael about his research on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) on perfectionism, we discuss in particular, one of the papers published in his lab: A randomized controlled trial of acceptance and commitment therapy for clinical perfectionism (2019).We chatted about the neurological screenings participants completed, the challenging moments of participants being attached to rules about how things are supposed to be, and how distinguishing helpful versus unhelpful perfectionistic actions is introduced in the study.You will also hear Michael sharing one of his favorite metaphors to facilitate behavioral flexibility.Subscribe to the Playing-it-safe newsletterPlaying-it-safe newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Social mediaInstagram: Dr. Z. https://www.instagram.com/dr.z.passionatebehaviorist/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrZ_behavioristDr. Z's website: www.thisisdoctorz.comDr. Z's therapy/coaching website: www.eastbaybehaviortherapycenter.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Self-criticism is a classic playing-it-safe move. What are the harsh criticisms that your mind come up with? How do you handle them? Do you try to replace them with positive thoughts? Do you do more with your life? Do you try to prove yourself that you are an okay person?I ask all these questions to Dr. Christopher Willard, an expert on mindfulness and self-compassion.In my conversation with Chris you will hear about:The purpose or the function of self-criticism. Why do we do it?The difference between self-compassion and self-esteemHow to handle thoughts like “harsh criticism motivates me or I don't deserve to be kind to myself”The difference between gratitude practices and toxic positivityHow to practice gratitudeWhat the default mode network isChris's upcoming book on resilienceHow to develop a perspective-taking.Chris is a psychologist and an educational consultant, specializing in mindfulness. He serves on the board of directors at the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy, and is the president of the Mindfulness in Education Network. He is the author of Child's Mind (2010), Growing Up Mindful (2016), Raising Resilience (2017), and eight other books for parents, professionals, and children. He also teaches at Harvard Medical School. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dealing effectively with anxiety and the discomfort that comes with it is a fundamental skill. It allows you to do what you care about and excel in life, especially when facing unfamiliar situations or unpleasant moments.In this episode, I interviewed Dr. Joel Minden. ​​He is the director of the Chico Center for Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Diplomate of the Academy of Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies (A-CBT), and the author of the anxiety management self-help book, “Show Your Anxiety Who's Boss.” In this interview, Joel and I discussed:- Three particular skills to manage anxiety(based on the book “Show Your Anxiety Who's Boss”)- How to practice acceptance when dealing with anxious thoughts- How to deal with uncertainty- How to practice exposure exercises- Misconceptions about behaviorismAnd you will also listen to an acronym that Joel uses in his work and how I get playful when he shares it. Stay tuned!!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you deeply care about what you do that don't measure what it takes you to accomplish a goal?Are you a very conscientious person that struggles doing things that are not-good-enough?Are you super-committed to the projects you participate in that you forget to eat, sleep, or hangout with your friends at times?Are you often preoccupied with thoughts about "I must do well, otherwise I'm bad?"Perfectionistic actions can keep you in a "perfect trap," but it doesn't have to be all bad. You can learn acceptance and commitment skills to release the shackles of perfectionistic actions without losing yourself and its benefits.In this episode, you will listen to an episode from the Audiobook The Upside of Perfectionism: An Acceptance and Commitment SkillsACT Focused CoachingIf you have specific questions about perfectionistic actions, have been dealing with them for a long time, and want to take things a step further, you can get 1:1 coaching to unpack those specific sticky moments.In the coaching session, I'll provide you with:A roadmap to get unstuck from any form of striving, high-achieving, and perfectionistic behavior you're dealing with and compassionate and research-based skills to handle moments of stuckness.Get the ACT AUDIO-GUIDE & COACHING here: https://bit.ly/3QlagBk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you transition from highschool to college – as it's called in the United States – or to a University – as it's called in other parts of the world, such as South America or Europe – you go through a significant life adjustment.As exciting as it is, there are also a lot of changes happening at once: you need to introduce yourself to new people, get adjusted to living at a different location, be in charge of your own meals, attend classes very early in the morning, speak with the register's office if something is off, trying to fit in with your new peers, and even finding new hobbies. On top of that, you have to manage fears of failing, dealing with test anxiety, saying the wrong thing or acting in the wrong way to the point that you may engage in playing-it-safe actions like procrastinating, skipping classes, avoiding submitting a paper if it's not perfect, and many more.In this episode, I chat with Nic Hooper, a clinical psychologist and a senior lecturer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy at Cardiff University in England. In 2017 Nic Hooper, began to write a book of life advice to his son, Max, which was to be given to him on his eighteenth birthday. Over time, that book slowly transformed into The Unbreakable Student.This is an authentic conversation that places values at the forefront.You will listen in particular about:Six ways to wellbeingHow to commit to your valuesHow to practice defusionHow Nic learned to relate to his fears of being a failureHow living our values has transformed Nic's and my life.Nic's website: nichooper.co.ukFollow Nic's on twitter @nichooper7! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today I have the pleasure to share an interview with Natasha Daniels, MFT, a mental health clinician, author, podcaster and founder of the community AT Parenting.In our conversation, Natasha and I talked about different playing-it-safe moves when dealing with the fear of social rejection or not fitting in with others.This is a raw and honest conversation about how Natasha navigated those fears with the added benefits of exposure and self-compassion!Let's be honest, sometimes, we are afraid of being rejected by people we care about and also by those we don't even know.If you haven't subscribed to our podcast, please do so!Click here to listen to this episode:AppleSpotifyWebsiteNatasha's Instagram: @atparentingsurvivalNatasha's Twitter: @atsurvivalCheering you on always,Dr. Z. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One way in which we play-it-safe is by delaying projects, tasks, and shooting for perfection.In this conversation, visual illustrator, Janis Ozolins, shares how he handles self-doubtful thoughts, perfectionist tendencies, and negative feedback when sharing his illustrations on his platform.It was special to hear from Janis how he, as a content creator, navigates the internal discomfort that comes when exposing your creative work to the world. An important aspect of Janis' work is his desire to create value in his illustrations, which can be challenging when your mind pushes you to play-it-safe.IMPORTANT NEWS: AUDIO GUIDE FOR PERFECTIONISM AND HIGH-ACHIEVING ACTIONS Do you feel like whatever you do, is never enough?It is hard for you to sit down and just relax, or have fun?Do you tend to overextend yourself, but you often don't realize this until after the fact?Do you get anxious about the idea of letting people down?Do you hate ambiguity, you want to know “what, when, and how,” and you want to know it “Now?"Do you focus on what you are failing to do versus what you accomplish?If you said YES! to at least 3 of the statements above, this audio-guide is for you!Learning to tackle all the behaviors associated with perfectionism is key to living a meaningful life. In this audio guide, you will learn 10 key ideas to tackle perfectionism and high-achieving behaviors based on Acceptance and Commitment Training.Get your audio guide: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/act-for-perfectionism-and-high-achieving-behaviors/ Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.

Repetitive negative thinking (RNT) is a core feature of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and depression. Recently, some studies have shown promising results with brief protocols of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) focused on RNT in the treatment of emotional disorders in adults. The current study analyzes the effect of an individual, 3-session, RNT-focused ACT protocol in the treatment of severe and comorbid GAD and depression.Dr Francisco J. Ruiz is among the world's leading experts on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Relational Frame Theory (RFT). He is currently a Professor in the area of Clinical and Experimental Psychology at the Konrad Lorenz University Foundation in Bogotá, Colombia.Specifically, Dr Ruiz's work has focused on developing an ACT-based intervention model designed to dismantle dysfunctional patterns of Repetitive Negative Thinking (RNT), including worry and rumination, know as RNT-focused ACT. He has published more than 75 articles in peer-reviewed journals and served on several editorial boards, including the Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, International Journal of Psychology and Psychological Therapy, and Frontiers in Psychology.Among Dr Ruiz's honors is his appointment as Distinguished Researcher Juan Alberto Aragón at the Konrad Lorenz University Foundation.In this episode you will hear:What is repetitive negative thinkingHow acceptance and commitment therapy can help you to tackle persistent thoughts about the past or the futureWhat defusion isWhat willingness isResources:Francisco Ruiz's labAcceptance and commitment therapyRelational Frame Theory of Language See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). Cognitive Behavior Therapy traditionally has been focused on delivering specific treatment protocols for specific struggles; for instance, if you were dealing with fears of public speaking as we see in social anxiety, then there was a treatment protocol for you to get better or sometimes five different treatment protocols that you could choose from, based on the clinician you worked with If you were dealing with panic attacks, there was a specific treatment protocol for it. However, since 2000 Cognitive Behavior Therapy has moved from having a single protocol for a specific disorder - social anxiety, panic, etc- to have a unified protocol for multiple struggles because, in the case of anxiety, for example, it's much more common to struggle with different types of fears than a single one. So if you're dealing with attacks it's also possible that you're dealing with chronic worry, or if you're dealing with chronic worry it's also possible that you're struggling with fears of public speaking. Today I have a chance to speak with Dr. David Barlow, the developer of the Unified Protocol.In this conversation, you will hear The basics of a Unified protocol in cognitive Behavior TherapyWhat is avoidance and how it worksWhat's negative affect and how it worksWhat's neuroticism and how it worksWhy is important to understand emotionsWhat are temperamental personality factorsYou will also hear me asking Dr. Barlow for permission to be sassy and ask controversial questions.What's a process in behavior therapy?Is process-based therapy different from the unified protocol?What is a transdiagnostic process: is an intervention different than a process? Is a transdiagnostic process a way in which people cope with internal experiences?Tune in, you don't want to miss how cognitive behaviorists are thinking of therapy these days and how this informs your experience in therapy or coaching when dealing with fear-based struggles.About Dr. BarlowDr. Barlow received his Ph.D. from the University of Vermont and has published over 650 articles and chapters and over 90 books and clinical manuals, mostly in the areas of anxiety and related emotional disorders and clinical research methodology. He is formerly a Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Mississippi Medical Center and a Professor of Psychiatry and Psychology at Brown University.Dr. Barlow was also a Distinguished Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University at Albany, State University of New York, and Director of the Phobia and Anxiety Disorders Clinic at the University at Albany, SUNY. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). Cognitive Behavior Therapy traditionally has been focused on delivering specific treatment protocols for specific struggles; for instance, if you were dealing with fears of public speaking as we see in social anxiety, then there was a treatment protocol for you to get better or sometimes five different treatment protocols that you could choose from, based on the clinician you worked with If you were dealing with panic attacks, there was a specific treatment protocol for it. However, since 2000 Cognitive Behavior Therapy has moved from having a single protocol for a specific disorder - social anxiety, panic, etc- to have a unified protocol for multiple struggles because, in the case of anxiety, for example, it's much more common to struggle with different types of fears than a single one. So if you're dealing with attacks it's also possible that you're dealing with chronic worry, or if you're dealing with chronic worry it's also possible that you're struggling with fears of public speaking. Today I have a chance to speak with Dr. David Barlow, the developer of the Unified Protocol.In this conversation, part 1, you will hear The basics of a Unified protocol in cognitive Behavior TherapyWhat is avoidance and how it worksWhat's negative affect and how it worksWhat's neuroticism and how it worksWhy is important to understand emotionsWhat are temperamental personality factorsYou will also hear me asking Dr. Barlow for permission to be sassy and ask controversial questions.What's a process in behavior therapy?Is process-based therapy different from the unified protocol?What is a transdiagnostic process: is an intervention different than a process? Is a transdiagnostic process a way in which people cope with internal experiences?Tune in, you don't want to miss how cognitive behaviorists are thinking of therapy these days and how this informs your experience in therapy or coaching when dealing with fear-based struggles.About Dr. BarlowDr. Barlow received his Ph.D. from the University of Vermont and has published over 650 articles and chapters and over 90 books and clinical manuals, mostly in the areas of anxiety and related emotional disorders and clinical research methodology. He is formerly a Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Mississippi Medical Center and a Professor of Psychiatry and Psychology at Brown University.Dr. Barlow was also a Distinguished Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University at Albany, State University of New York, and Director of the Phobia and Anxiety Disorders Clinic at the University at Albany, SUNY. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How to cultivate loneliness & why it is important to do so:Most people are uncomfortable with loneliness because it means facing yourself without distractions. But, as much as you don't like it, you can learn from it and perhaps even cultivate it.Sometimes, without realizing and other times, intentionally. We do all types of things to avoid feeling lonely and to manage our sense of loneliness.. But, how do those strategies work in our life? And if they're not working, what can you do about it…that's what this episode is about!In this episode, you will be invited to:Reflect on how you handle lonelinessYour playing-it-safe moves when feeling alone How to cultivate loneliness without losing yourself See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

“The average human lifespan is absurd, terrifying, insultingly short. But that isn't a reason for unremitting despair or for living in an anxiety-fueled panic about making the most of your limited time. It's a cause for relief. You get to give up on something that was always impossible - the quest to become the optimized, infinitely capable, emotionally, invincible, fully independent person you're officially supposed to be. Then you get to roll up your sleeves and start work on that's gloriously possible instead.” In the information era, it's natural that everyone talks about productivity and how to do things. But Oliver Burkeman has a different take: “actually, you can't do anything and you need to come to terms with that…” In this second part of my conversation with Oliver Burkeman, we discussed:How Oliver manages his worries, fears, and anxietiesHow Oliver manages negative thoughts What bothers him about self-psychologyWhat emotions are His thoughts on the notion of work-life balanceThis conversation with Oliver reminds me of the preciousness of being alive and that, we're all in the process of learning and re-learning what works in life!Hope you enjoy the episode!!! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It was an honor to chat with Oliver Burkeman, columnist for the Guardian, journalist by training, and author of the books: “4000 weeks: time management for mortals and happiness: the antidote for people who can't stand positive thinking.” I have been following Oliver's work for years and had so many questions to ask him, but of course, there were time constraints. So I did my best to ask him about his writing process and the story behind his books, how he practices acceptance, gratitude, and other psychological processes, and his take on some sassy comments he has made over the years.If you haven't read Oliver's books, I highly recommend them! He's one of those writers that do a fantastic job sharing science in a story format, and he does it so elegantly that after you read either a chapter he wrote or his column in the Guardian, you want to read more.This conversation has 3 segments:Oliver's writing process and how he handles interruptions, self-criticism, time anxiety, and comparison thoughts related to writing.How Oliver experiences gratitude, acceptance, and approaches day-to-day challenges.Oliver's take on different topics: the problem with self-help books, what emotions are, the difference between meaning and happinessAnd if you listen to the end, you will hear who Oliver would like to have a scotch and cigar with!As I finish writing this conversation, I remind myself of the last paragraph in Oliver's book, The Four Thousand Weeks:“The average human lifespan is absurd, terrifying, insultingly short. But that isn't a reason for unremitting despair or for living in an anxiety-fueled panic about making the most of your limited time. It's a cause for relief. You get to give up on something that was always impossible - the quest to become the optimized, infinitely capable, emotionally, invincible, fully independent person you're officially supposed to be. Then you get to roll up your sleeves and start work on something that's gloriously possible instead.” See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Are you getting in the way of your own best life?one of the ways in which many of us get in the way of our best life is by playing it safeYou might be playing it safe if you ...- Get stuck thinking doom and gloom scenarios- Ask others what to do so you don't make a mistake- Feel like an imposter despite all your accomplishments- Doubt your competency and ability to handle challenging situations- Spontaneously go back to the past and dwell on troublesome situations- Avoid situations or people that make you feel uncomfortable even though it causes you problems- Put off an activity when it's too overwhelming but beat yourself up because you're not getting it done- Are overly careful about what you're saying, how you're saying it, and what you're doing so you don't make mistakes- Do your best to think optimistically and positively even though your mind keeps coming up with negative thoughtsYour playing-it-safe moves might feel right at the time, but they can also keep you stuck.Do you know what's your playing-it-safe profile?Learn which playing-it-safe moves are working against you and how to change them. Here is what you need to do:(1) Listen to this episode(2) Take the Playing-It-Safe Questionnaire(3) Figure out your Playing-it-safe profile.https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/Do you feel as if you're the only person responsible for others' wellbeing at all times? How do you go about making decisions?⁣ ⁣ What about small ones?⁣ ⁣ Do you get overwhelmed with the possibility of failure? Do you spend hours criticizing yourself? Is it challenging to say present in the moment?⁣ ⁣ Do you postpone activities that feel anxiety-provoking? Do you have high standards for yourself? Do you put pressure on yourself to make the right decisions? Do you minimize your accomplishments and feel that what you're doing is not enough?These are characteristics of perfectionism and high achieving behaviors. Get a 10-part audio guide to learn to harness the power of perfectionism and learn to do things that your care about without losing yourself!Click here: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/act-for-perfectionism-and-high-achieving-behaviors/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Are you worried about making poor financial decisions?Have you ever felt ashamed of your finances?How do you relate to money?Financial anxiety is real for most of us.Quite often we do play-it-safe by avoiding financial decisions, predicting gloom and doom scenarios about potential decisions or we get paralyzed with what-if financial scenarios.So, I'm excited to share with you a conversation I had with Amanda Clayman, a trained clinician specializing in money issues. In this interview, she kindly shares:Her personal experience of stuckness with moneyHow Amanda creates a context to make values-based decisions about moneyHow you can relate to money as a way to expand your life (instead of contracting it)How you can handle the shame, anxiety, and fears that come when making financial decisionsThis conversation was very refreshing and hope you find it useful. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We often have mechanistic views about ourselves “I'm bad, ugly, stupid, etc” and believe that when having any negative thoughts, painful memories feeling or they need to be fixed, repaired, or replaced. At times we believe that we lack “confidence” or “self-esteem”.But what if our internal experiences are just that, internal experiences.What if what we do with them or what we do in response to them is much more important than what those experiences are?In this brief episode, I share with you a particular psychological concept that is at the heart of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: Context and how you can understand your behavior in context.I promise you this episode doesn't have fancy jargon or complicated words; it's the opposite. I did my best to share with you an important psychological construct in a simple and actionable way so you can get better at living a purposeful life.IMPORTANT NEWS: REGISTRATION FOR THE ONLINE CLASS "ACT BEYOND PERFECTIONISM" STARTS IN A COUPLE OF DAYS:Enter your email to be notified here: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/act-for-perfectionism-and-high-achieving-behaviors/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How do top athletes think about their physical struggles - pain, exhaustion, thirst - when competing?How do the top athletes push their bodies to the absolute limit over hours or days of competition? When feeling under significant pressure or in high stake situations, It's natural that our mind may jump to conclusions about what's going on or what's going to happen; it's natural that our mind may jump into thinking traps. It's natural that our mind may compare our performance with others' performance. . . It's natural that our minds may convince us to stop trying, to give up, to stop competing . . . I had the honor of interviewing Alex Hutchinson, a journalist, former Canadian national team distance runner, current award-winning science journalist, and author of the book Endure.In this conversation Alex, kindly sharesHis writing processHow he decided to write EndureHow he maintains a scientific approach to his writingHow he handles the uncertainty of not knowingHow to think about physical sensations during a high athletic performanceHow to relate to physical discomfort when competing at a professional levelThis conversation has reminded me, once again, about the importance of scientific humbleness; and how, when doing what we care about, keeping ourselves in check, is crucial to keep science going. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.