Podcast appearances and mentions of Elaine Smith

Truth, Lies, and Work is an award-winning psychology podcast from the HubSpot Podcast Network, hosted by Chartered Occupational Psychologist Leanne Elliott and business owner Al Elliott. Every Tuesday, we bring you This Week in Work—your go-to for workplace news, a hot take from an industry expert, and our world-famous workplace surgery, where Leanne answers your toughest work dilemmas.

Elaine Smith recently returned from her 3-month sabbatical, which was made possible by a grant from the Community Foundation. She joins Randi to talk about how it went and what she's looking forward to now that she's back at work. 

Let's take walk throught the school halls and hear from those who graced the classes with the voices of Pres alumni, men now in their late 70's and early 80's who reminisce on their time in the school but alsofocus on their lives after they left the front gates here on the Mardyke for the last time. We hear from former Lord Mayor Michael Ahern, a Pres scholarship student whose political leanings were fostered selling newspapers door to door in the poverty-ridden Marsh here in Cork City in the late 1940's. Entrepreneur, Michael O Connell, cornered the lucrative 3 stripes Adidas market in this country in the 1960's and recalls selling gear to the Irish rugby team from the boot of his car. Another incredibly successful entrepreneur and financial giant, Brian McCarthy of Fexco discusses his career after Pres. Finally to lands beyond the school, Father Gerry Murphy talks about his life as a Columban Father and his mission in the Philippines.This podcast is presented by PBC alumni George Hook and Ronan McAuliffe. It was produced by PBC teacher Éanna O'Loinsigh with Elaine Smith on sound and post production and piano composition by PBC student Liam Ring. Thank you to our contributors for sharing the stories and fond memories and to Presentation Brothers College Cork for their continued support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We have two men who hold an incredible passion for Presentation Brothers College Cork. UP first is Dan Donovan where he talks passionately about his time in Pres in the 1930's and 40's including detailed descriptions of Brother Connolly and Loyola and shares lovely sketches and appreciations of the teachers who taught him in those years, both. To close out the series and in such a fitting manner, is the man whose innovation to creativity and teaching, introduced podcasting to PBC. Caleb Sheehan sat down as he reflects on his time teaching at Pres, his absolute passion and love for the school and his outlook on life now facing MND. It is a very strikinginterview and perhaps shows more than any interviewee on the series, just how much Pres can mean to one person.This podcast is presented by PBC alumni George Hook and Ronan McAuliffe. It was produced by PBC teacher Éanna O'Loinsigh with Elaine Smith on sound and post production and piano composition by PBC student Liam Ring. Thank you to our contributors for sharing the stories and fond memories and to Presentation Brothers College Cork for their continued support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We hear from memories on the pitch with PBC rugby and in particular from one of the legendary figures of Pres, Munster and Irish rugby in the 1960's and 70's - the great Barry McGann who is also, as far as we know, the only Pres boy to line out against the Dutch football wizard, Johann Cruyff in a competitive international. We also revisit some sadder moments in PBC rugby history as Barry remembers Pat Barry and Noel Walsh recalls his death at Thomond Park in 1965. Ray Clarke who was present as a member of the Senior Cup team at training in Wilton on that fateful day in 1979 remembers Des Barry. To hear about the future of the school, Jack O Sullivan, Chairman of P.B.C. Board of Management reflects on his time at Pres while Michael Sexton outlines his role as CEO of the PBST and his vision for the school.This podcast is presented by PBC alumni George Hook and Ronan McAuliffe. It was produced by PBC teacher Éanna O'Loinsigh with Elaine Smith on sound and post production and piano composition by PBC student Liam Ring. Thank you to our contributors for sharing the stories and fond memories and to Presentation Brothers College Cork for their continued support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's not just rugby that the school is renowned for, given its stunning location on the banks of the River Lee, it was inevitable that rowing would play a part in the sporting history of theschool. Dan Cowhie recalls sitting on Tivoli Docks watching regattas in the early 1930's. We hear from former principal, Michael Hennessy who was instrumental in the resurrection of rowing in Pres in the 1970's, 80's and indeed right up to the present day. Moving to the field, soccer in Pres and its long history is recounted by Noel Spillane while Larry O Neill tells us about his father Liam and Ken O Riordan talks about schoolboy soccer in Pres and Cork in the 60's. Another sport that would be inevitable considering the proximity to the Cork Cricket club, we hear about the great tradition of one of the oldest games in the school with reminisces from Noel Walsh and also Peter Dineen on a great Pres cricketer, his father Pat and finally we link back to cricket and Pres in 2024.This podcast is presented by PBC alumni George Hook and Ronan McAuliffe. It was produced by PBC teacher Éanna O'Loinsigh with Elaine Smith on sound and post production and piano composition by PBC student Liam Ring. Thank you to our contributors for sharing the stories and fond memories and to Presentation Brothers College Cork for their continued support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's an eclectic mix of stories from society, culture, history and what Cork was like way back when. Firstly, we focus on a very interesting aspect of Presentation Brothers College history and indeed Cork social history: Pres and the Jewish community. We begin with a brief segment from Dan Cowhie as he recounts the Jewish students in his class in Pres in 1934 before moving onto an interview with David Goldberg who tells us about his father, Gerald, a Pres boy and the first Jewish Lord Mayor of Cork. We feature an interview with Fergus Finlay, a Pres student in both Pres Bray and Pres Cork who talks about Pres and his career as a political advisor with Labour and CEO of Barnardos. To close, we feature an interview with the late Kieran Clancy on his schooldays in Pres in the 40's and early 50's as well as his wartime memories and the pub trade in Cork.This podcast is presented by PBC alumni George Hook and Ronan McAuliffe. It was produced by PBC teacher Éanna O'Loinsigh with Elaine Smith on sound and post production and piano composition by PBC student Liam Ring. Thank you to our contributors for sharing the stories and fond memories and to Presentation Brothers College Cork for their continued support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let's take a trip down memory lane to Cork in the 1920's with Dan Cowhie who paints a picture of our beautiful city at the time and remembers the trams and bustle of the city centre in the 30's. What did school children do in their spare time back then? Well, Michael O'Callaghan talks about his childhood games and road bowling in the 1930's over Cork's Viaduct. Onto more difficult times, Seamus O'Mahony remembers the scourge of the 40's and 50's - TB and Polio while Eoghan Harris reminisces on his mother and the poverty in the Cork of his childhood. To close out, Brother Matthew and Kieran Clancy remember World War 2 in the city and the first time oranges made it to the shores of Cork.This podcast is presented by PBC alumni George Hook and Ronan McAuliffe. It was produced by PBC teacher Éanna O'Loinsigh with Elaine Smith on sound and post production and piano composition by PBC student Liam Ring. Thank you to our contributors for sharing the stories and fond memories and to Presentation Brothers College Cork for their continued support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We look at the Arts in Pres as we go down memory lane with Oxford Professor and award winning poet Bernard O Donoghue as he recalls his year in Pres in 196/62. Eoghan Harris talks about debating in Pres in the 1950s and recites a poem he wrote as a 15-year-old. We're graced by a song from Noel Walsh who remembers Gilbert and Sullivan musicals during his time in Pres. Renowned actor, Kieran Ahern talks about his acting career and his 6 decades spent in Pres as a student and teacher including the establishment of a media center in the school by Brother Jerome in the 70s. To close out the show Dan Donovan recites a piece from the archives and talks about acting and theatre as a student in Pres in the 1940s.This podcast is presented by PBC alumni George Hook and Ronan McAuliffe. It was produced by PBC teacher Éanna O'Loinsigh with Elaine Smith on sound and post production and piano composition by PBC student Liam Ring. Thank you to our contributors for sharing the stories and fond memories and to Presentation Brothers College Cork for their continued support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rugby has been a resounding part of PBC's identity, it has created some sporting legends within in the school and has maintained a rich rivalry with fellow Cork schools and beyond. We go back as far as the 1930's here with Dan Cowhie taking us back to his time playing Junior Rugby and the Cagney Shield with Pres in the mid-1930s. Ever heard of the Golden-Half Mile on the Mardyke? Well, Moss Finn is the man for that story. Onto rugby rivalry, we jump forward to Pres' Senior Cup win against Christians in 1952 with Kieran Clancy reminiscing on his time in the school and to greater rivals beyond Cork, Jimmy Bowen talks about the famous match against the All Blacks.This podcast is presented by PBC alumni George Hook and Ronan McAuliffe. It was produced by PBC teacher Éanna O'Loinsigh with Elaine Smith on sound and post production and piano composition by PBC student Liam Ring. Thank you to our contributors for sharing the stories and fond memories and to Presentation Brothers College Cork for their continued support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this debut episode of this historical archive, travel back to 1878 with the founding of the Presentation Brothers and hear stories of explorations of Presentation Brothers from Brother Martin and Brother Matthew who travelled the world in a time much different to now. Take a step back in time to Cork in the early 1900's with historian and current Lord Mayor Kieran McCarthy who paints a picture of the Mardyke Walk and city as it was way back then. Brother Jerome Kelly features through a reading from ‘Gentlemen of the Presentation' and finally current Deputy Principal, Enda O'Regan describes a year he spent with the Presentation Brothers in St Lucia at the start of his career.This podcast is presented by PBC alumni George Hook and Ronan McAuliffe. It was produced by PBC teacher Éanna O'Loinsigh with Elaine Smith on sound and post production and piano composition by PBC student Liam Ring. Thank you to our contributors for sharing the stories and fond memories and to Presentation Brothers College Cork for their continued support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

World Cup fever is in the air as the Girls in Green get ready to do battle against the Matildas in front of 70,000 spectators in Sydney. Our reporter Elaine Smith took to the streets of Cork to get a sense of the excitement.

World Cup fever is in the air as the Girls in Green get ready to do battle against the Matildas in front of 70,000 spectators in Sydney. Our reporter Elaine Smith took to the streets of Cork to get a sense of the excitement.

Earlier in the week we heard from the European Commissioner Mairead McGuinness about keeping cash and a possible digital euro. Many people are concerned that this could lead us closer to a cashless society - Would that bother you? Our reporter Elaine Smith got the views of the people of Cork:

Earlier in the week we heard from the European Commissioner Mairead McGuinness about keeping cash and a possible digital euro. Many people are concerned that this could lead us closer to a cashless society - Would that bother you? Our reporter Elaine Smith got the views of the people of Cork:

Cash or plastic what are the rules for paying your bill? also, we ask if businesses should be allowed to refuse cash in favour of card-only transactions. To discuss with Pat this morning was Vincent Jennings CEO of the Convenience Stores and Newsagents Association, Adrian Cummins, and Seán Nolan of ClarkHill Solicitors in Dublin. Our reporter Elaine Smith asked people in Cork what their view was.

There are two students from this year's graduating class at the University of Alabama that are getting some attention...because of their age. LeAnna Roberts is a college graduate at the age of 16!! Elaine Smith got her degree on the other end of that spectrum...she's 77! SOURCE: https://www.wdjx.com/these-two-university-of-alabama-grads-stand-out-for-a-special-reason/

How we do our Christmas shopping is changing all the time. But what are we doing this year? Are we still ordering online from Amazon, or are we making a trip up the road to shop local? Our reporter Elaine Smith asked people in Cork if they enjoy all the shopping that comes at Christmas. Also, Duncan Graham from Retail Excellence Ireland gave Ciar an update on Xmas Shopping 2022.

How we do our Christmas shopping is changing all the time. But what are we doing this year? Are we still ordering online from Amazon, or are we making a trip up the road to shop local? Our reporter Elaine Smith asked people in Cork if they enjoy all the shopping that comes at Christmas. Also, Duncan Graham from Retail Excellence Ireland gave Ciar an update on Xmas Shopping 2022.

The Cork Jazz festival is in full swing this weekend. Newstalk reporter Elaine Smith spoke to festivalgoers in the city to get a sense of how things have been going so far.

Do you tip? This morning on the show we discuss why tips are so important to hospitality workers in Ireland. We sent our reporter Elaine Smith to find out from the people of Cork about their tipping etiquettes. And also we were joined on the show by Irish Examiner Columnist and Author Clodagh Finn.

Do you tip? This morning on the show we discuss why tips are so important to hospitality workers in Ireland. We sent our reporter Elaine Smith to find out from the people of Cork about their tipping etiquettes. And also we were joined on the show by Irish Examiner Columnist and Author Clodagh Finn.

Presenter Tom Service visits Blackpool to explore the iconic seaside town's rich musical history and learn more about the energy of a musical ecosystem famed for its ballrooms, dance bands, and Wurlitzer organs; to hear from the those responsible for creating new musical opportunities for the area's residents and visitors; and to speak those nurturing the next generation of musicians from across the town. Tom starts at the world-famous Tower Ballroom, where he hears organist Phil Kelsall after his turn at the Wurlitzer Organ. He also tours the wider Blackpool area with Andrew White, Head of Blackpool Music Hub, who tells Tom about his organisation's work to break down the barriers that often exist in providing all children with access to musical instruments as well as giving them memorable opportunities to perform in Blackpool's many entertainment venues. Music Director Helen Harrison also joins Tom to discuss the role of Blackpool Symphony Orchestra and its place at the heart of the town's musical community. Tom speaks to luminaries of Blackpool's long tradition in band music, including David Windle, who directed the Tower Circus Band, as well as Bandleader Albie Hilton, and discusses the legacy of music making within the town's dance circuit. And, local resident Elaine Smith reminisces about tripping the light fantastic in Blackpool's many dance halls. We've contributions, too, from Blackpool brethren including singer Alfie Boe and the singer-songwriter Rae Morris, eavesdrop on the George Formby Society convention, and talk to the visiting guitarist Alexander Hacke reflects on how the town inspired his experimental band Einsturzende Neubauten while recently recording their new album on location.

On April 10, 2017, Karen Smith was shot to death inside a San Bernardino Elementary school where she taught special education. The person who pulled the trigger was her husband of less than 2 month. Find out more about HelpYouFind.me and how you can create your "If I Go Missing File" https://helpyoufind.me/go/1109/ SUPPORT OUR SHOW! And Join Us On Patreon To Unlock Exclusive Content! www.patreon.com/blackckgirlgonepodcast Show Sponsor FrameBridge Visit: www,FrameBridge.com Code: GIRLGONE UpStart Visit: www.UpStart.com/GirlGone Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Interview with Elaine Smith, former FBI Special Agent and Author of the book "A Gun In My Gucci" about her time investigating organized crime and Ken Eto. Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code BADGUY at MANSCAPED.com! #ad #manscapedpod --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/badguy-lock/message

What's the best Christmas Toy you've ever received? Our reporter Elaine Smith took to the festive streets of Cork today to ask that very question & she even spoke to Santa on what his favourite toy has been after all those years on the job. Listen and subscribe to The Pat Kenny Show on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and Spotify.      Download, listen and subscribe on the Newstalk App.    You can also listen to Newstalk live on newstalk.com or on Alexa, by adding the Newstalk skill and asking: 'Alexa, play Newstalk'.

Carer of the year Elaine Smith looks after her young daughter Lucy. She shared her story with Alan Corcoran on the Morning Mix.

Elaine Smith from Eye on the Business on turning data into profit for SME's and Vivienne Graham DSP introduces the Work Placement Experience Programme and Jobs Plus. New PropTech will disrupt the real estate sector - and it's exactly what customers are looking for! Developed by Athlone auctioneer Healy Hynes, Beagel is an online bidding engine based at the Midlands Innovation and Research Centre at AIT East Campus. Beagel is the first Irish PropTech company to be selected to take part in the 2021 MassChallenge Program. Selected from over 3,000 companies from 20 countries, CEO Hynes, will now be working with the Boston-based accelerator to introduce its bidding service to the world's largest real estate market. Visit www.beagel.io for full details.

Yes, it's yet another glorious day of sunshine across most of the country, but some people are complaining - yes complaining! - about the heat.  Our reporter Elaine Smith is in Cork, she's been asking if it's just too hot? There was a mix of opinions, but today is likely to be the day we officially enter a heatwave.  Alan O'Reilly of Carlow Weather and Dr Cara Augustenborg, Environmental Policy Fellow at University College Dublin and a regular contributor to Newstalk, joined Kieran on the Hard Shoulder... The Hard Shoulder Listen and subscribe to The Hard Shoulder on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and Spotify.      Download, listen and subscribe on the Newstalk App.     You can also listen to Newstalk live on newstalk.com or on Alexa, by adding the Newstalk skill and asking: 'Alexa, play Newstalk'.

This week in the Bunker, author and poet Sarah Elaine Smith stops by to talk about her debut novel, Marilou Is Everywhere, "a coming-of-age tale that reveals itself as a parable about race in America." But she and Brad also talked about growing up in the country, the joys of "home ownership," hiking, nature, and snakes. You should probably know, the two of them had a LOT of thoughts about Appalachia. A lot. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Robert Reed Jr., 75, aka “Bama” to his family, friends and community, was a lifelong resident of McIntosh departed this life Friday, April 9, 2021 at Providence Hospital in Mobile. He was born Nov. 27, 1945 to the union of the late Robert Reed Sr. and Mary Reed. Robert To “Bama,” fishing was his passion, followed by cooking and frying all those fish he caught! But, he truly loved his children and grandchildren, and family gatherings were his absolute favorite. He leaves to cherish his memory a devoted companion, Elaine Smith; three children, Anthony Lang of Creola, Marilyn Lang of...Article Link

Elaine Smith is the founder and Producing Artistic Director at Clamour Theatre Company. She’s an awesome theatre artist. Together we chat about her vision for Clamour as well as the impact that Covid-19 has had on its growth.

If you appreciate Parallax Views and the work of J.G. Michael please consider supporting the show through Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/parallaxviews Parallax Views returns from a New Year's break with a brand new and exciting episode detailing how one of the FBI's most successful female agents joined forces with a Japanese mobster to take down Chicago organized crime. Former FBI Agent Elaine Smith (aka E.C. Smith) joins us to discuss how she became involved in the FBI and ended up on the tail of Ken Eto, a Japanese mobster who acted as a gambling kingpin for the Chicago mob. Eto, after the mob attempted a hit on him in fear he'd rat on them, turned to Elaine Smith to get his revenge on them in court. What followed is a story that is fit for a major motion picture and led to dozens of organized crime figures to be taken down by this duo of two very different kinds of fish-out-of-water outsiders.Elaine also discusses what it was like getting into the FBI, the training (including brutal boxing matches she had to have with men), and her approach to FBI work. Did she experience sexism in her career and struggles as a female in the FBI? Find out in this fascinating conversation. If you're interested in Mafia tales, organized crime, FBI crime busts, or any other matter of true crime stories.

Interview with Elaine Smith, former FBI Special Agent and Author of the book "A Gun In My Gucci" about her time investigating organized crime and Ken Eto. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/badguy-lock/message

Thanks for listening to Creating a Prayer Culture for God! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pastor-lester-hayes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/pastor-lester-hayes/support

Be Blessed Everyone!! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pastor-lester-hayes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/pastor-lester-hayes/support

Retired agent Elaine Smith served in the FBI for 22 years. Elaine, who grew up in the Chicago area, spent her entire career assigned to the Chicago Division. In this episode of FBI Retired Case File Review, she reviews her efforts to convince Ken "Tokyo Joe" Eto, the highest-ranking Asian-American mob associate, to cooperate against the Chicago mob, also known as “The Outfit.” In an attempt to secure his cooperation, Elaine Smith successfully investigated Joe for interstate gambling violations. He turned her down until his mob associates attempted to kill him by shooting him in the head three times. After the botched hit, a 17-year cooperation relationship began between Elaine and Joe. The historical evidence he provided led to arrests, convictions, and long sentences for many of Chicago's top mobsters.  Join my Reader Team to get the FBI Reading Resource - Books about the FBI, written by FBI agents, the 20 clichés about the FBI Reality Checklist, and keep up to date on the FBI in books, TV, and movies via my monthly email. Join here.   Jerri Williams, a retired FBI agent, author and podcaster, attempts to relive her glory days by writing and blogging about the FBI and hosting FBI Retired Case File Review, a true crime/history podcast. Visit her website to check out her books, available as audiobooks, ebooks and paperbacks wherever books are sold. 

A Gun in My Gucci is a true story of two “outsiders” who helped bring down the Chicago Mob — the middle-aged mobster Ken “Tokyo Joe” Eto, and a determined young woman, Elaine Corbitt Smith. In the early 1980s, Joe Eto was the highest-ranking Asian-American mob associate in the country. His nemesis, rookie Elaine Smith […]

Praise The Lord Everyone!! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pastor-lester-hayes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/pastor-lester-hayes/support

Elaine Smith, who went from school teacher to crime-buster. Smith's story exposes her tough climb up the ladder of acceptance and ultimate success as she broke into the macho, male-dominated criminal justice system, and helped take down the Chicago Outfit.  See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Elaine Smith’s story exposes her tough climb up the ladder of acceptance and ultimate success as she broke into the macho, male-dominated criminal justice system, and helped take down the Chicago Outfit.

Elaine Smith, who went from school teacher to crime-buster. Smith’s story exposes her tough climb up the ladder of acceptance and ultimate success as she broke into the macho, male-dominated criminal justice system, and helped take down the Chicago Outfit. 

Sunday Message via Zoom (06/28/2020) --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pastor-lester-hayes/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/pastor-lester-hayes/support

Elaine Fields Smith is an award-winning author and poet who loves to help people smile. She lives in Central Texas with her husband of 37 years, two dogs, two cats, and sings in both a ladies' barbershop group and the local community choir. She also loves to line dance, ride in her convertible, and garden. Elaine has written eight books and has one in the works due out in May. Find more of Elaine: Instagram: @blazingstarbooks www.blazingstarbooks.com ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Created during a time of quarantine in the global Coronavirus pandemic, A Moment Of Your Time's mission is to provide a space for expression, collaboration, community and solidarity. In this time of isolation, we may have to be apart but let's create together.  Created by CurtCo Media Concept by Jenny Curtis Theme music by Chris Porter Follow Us: Facebook | Instagram | Twitter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We discuss the failed hemp legalization bill, state budgets and how the Idaho legislature is dealing with the coronavirus in this interview with Rep. Elaine Smith (D-Pocatello).

Representative Elaine Smith (D-Pocatello) talks with Alec Pope about the long rule-review process that has been going on in the first weeks of the 2020 Idaho legislative session

This week I get real personal about my love of Emily Dickinson and talk to channel to the divine, Sarah Elaine Smith about poetry, fiction, and the mystery of the desert. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

WHATS GOOD this month's podcast guest is Sarah Elaine Smith, author of Marilou Is Everywhere. We talked about high school literary magazines, Pander Zine Distro, playing trombone, getting two MFAs, teaching middle school kids, and a bunch more. Sarah rules and this conversation made me want to work on my novel again. As promised here are three reviews: NY Times, NPR, Pittsburgh Current. Buy this book! Also sign up for Sarah's writing course. While you’re at it, you may as well subscribe to my dumb Patreon, but if you don't wanna pay you can also find my newsletter for free in all these places or get it as a monthly email. Get on the email list at lifeharvester.substack.com

A strong committee will lead your area to strong financial health. This podcast highlights the benefits of hosting a committee training. Remember to maximize your time for ministry with kids by Building a Financially Healthy Culture.   This podcast includes:  Pat Rhoades & Greg Lehman from the Field Development team as well as Elaine Smith, National Committee Trainer.  Listen in!

Z-Man sits down with comedian and author Amy Dresner.  They talk about her new book "My Fair Junkie" and have some laughs along the way. Todd Zalkins: I Want to talk about Amy Dresner for a second. Amy is a former professional stand up comic, having appeared at the Comedy Store, the laugh factory and the [inaudible 00:00:09], by the way, I've already left a bunch since she's been here. It's fricking classic. Since 2012, she has been the sole official columnist for the online addiction and recovery magazine called thefixed.com. She's also written for the good men project, after party, chat refinery 29 salon, cosmopolitan for Latinas and addiction.com. Let's see here, What else? ... Oh, she's got this fabulous book out by the way. It's called "My Fair junkie it is available everywhere Barnes and Noble Amazon. Todd Zalkins: Could you get a close up of this book cover Mike, we're going to show you guys the book cover it's called "My Fair junkie, A Memoir of getting dirty and staying clean" this is gonna be a great a little morning here . She's also had a ... the books been compared to Carrie Fisher's 1987 autobiography called "Postcards from the Edge", that's what Elle magazine said and Amy Dresner story of addiction is a story ... it's one for the ages she'll be speaking at "she recovers" on September 15th at the Beverly Hilton Hotel and at the mindful recovery symposium in North Carolina on October 26. Todd Zalkins: Ladies, and gentlemen Miss Amy Dresner. Come on over here and have a seat and hang out for a few minutes. Amy Dresner: Hi. Todd Zalkins: Hey Amy. How you doing? Put on those headphones for a second. Amy Dresner: Great to be here. Todd Zalkins: Nice to have you, thanks for joining us. Now really quick I gotta ask you I know you just sat down. Are you comfortable?  Amy Dresner: Yes.  Todd Zalkins: It's very important to me that you are comfortable. Amy Dresner: Yes, these pillows are weird. Todd Zalkins: Get rid of the ... You don't have to keep the pillow there. Amy Dresner: This is like for people with lumbar problems.  Todd Zalkins: I've got a lot of those aside I got a lot of problems. Amy Dresner: So do I. Todd Zalkins: Do you? Amy Dresner: Yeah. Todd Zalkins: We're gonna talk about some of those problems and mainly we're all stoked that you're in the solution today.  Amy Dresner: Me too, so is everyone else including the LAPD. Todd Zalkins: The LAPD is glad that she's [crosstalk 00:02:21] they feel like they got lucky with having you get sober. Amy Dresner: Oh God yeah, they've been to my house many times they were just ... "oh" we'll get to that. Todd Zalkins: We are going to cover that. I want to say congratulations on the book that you've come out with. Amy Dresner: Thank you. Todd Zalkins: I know that there's a lot of exciting other stuff on the horizon that we can't talk about right now- Amy Dresner: No, But it will be announced soon.  Todd Zalkins: Okay, cool. Tell us a little bit about where are you from, I know you've been stand up comedy and stuff like that. But where were you born and raised?  Amy Dresner: I was born and raised in Beverly Hills. I'm a Beverly Hills Jew. Todd Zalkins: You are. Are you still practicing that stuff? Amy Dresner: No, I was never practicing. I'm a Hollywood jew, a cultural jew[crosstalk 00:03:04] Todd Zalkins: There's a lot of them up right? Amy Dresner: But I don't go to temple or anything like that. I also went to Catholic school for four years because I was going to public school and then they were “oh” it was busing, It was during that time they were going to bus and my parents just threw me in this really gnarly Catholic school in Beverly Hills it was run by nuns. Todd Zalkins: Your parents threw you under the bus literally and figuratively. Amy Dresner: It just was really ... that was one of the problems when I got sober was the whole higher power stuff because I was really confused by the whole thing, but I went to school, I went to college in Everton in Boston. I lived abroad for a couple of years. And I've been in and out for the program for 20 years and now I have five, and a half years clean. Todd Zalkins: Congratulations- Amy Dresner: Praise Hashem. Todd Zalkins: I'm happy to hear that you're on a better path today and obviously it took a lot to get here. We're going to talk a little bit about the path and where it started out and let's just go straight to it. When did you discover the effects that drugs and alcohol provided you? Amy Dresner: I didn't drink till I was 19.  Todd Zalkins: No way.  Amy Dresner: Yeah, way. To back it up, I was kind of a goody two shoes and school and a straight A student and blah blah and I was really obsessed with purity and I think that's very alcoholic to be honest. We're either smoking meth, or we're vegan, we're not really good at the moderation thing. I was very ... I was not into sex or drugs or alcohol and my dad was ... My mom was living in Mexico at the time, and my father was "how do I get my kid out of Beverly Hills without her becoming a druggie"? Todd Zalkins: Now, real quick, was your family dynamic and tact and you have brothers and sisters- Amy Dresner: No, I have no brothers and sisters. My parents split when I was two. It was very ... Yeah, no.  Todd Zalkins: Okay, so you primarily live with dad.  Amy Dresner: I live with both. I split the week, half and half. My mother is a recovering alcoholic. She was trying to make a living and my father was a screenwriter and my father just sort of was more emotionally available, So I gravitated more to him and then my mother moved to Mexico when I was 13 so then I was raised sort of by my father from that point on. Todd Zalkins: Do you think and I to come from somewhat of a fractured family environment too but ... in your story or for you personally was a somewhat not intact family, did that contribute later on do you think to your alcoholism and addictions?  Amy Dresner: I think that not ... I certainly have abandonment issues and I'm certainly insecurely or what it's called anxiously attached I think what psychiatrists call it, so I definitely ... my mother had been ... she was a little bit shut down and she'd been beaten by her schizophrenic mother and her brother was schizophrenic too and so I felt that her inability to kind of love me the way that I need to be loved and yes I'm really fucking needy but definitely made me feel like I was not good enough, there was something wrong with me. Todd Zalkins: Okay. I appreciate that and I also want to kind of clarify this one that is I have never blamed ... oh yeah this, whatever happened childhood stuff, What have you. I guess what I'm getting at is, do you think that drugs and alcohol at 19 and you moved on from there, do you think it kind of help either sooth or compartmentalize the pain and again not to blame the childhood stuff, but did that work for you?  Amy Dresner: Oh, yeah. I always felt weird and unsafe in the world and confused by everything. And even though I was super smart, I just was terrified. I was so terrified and so for me, and I didn't like myself at all. I hated myself, and there's so much addiction and mental illness in my family. The genetics are there in force, so when I picked up, it was kind of instant. Booze made me ... I blacked out almost immediately.  Todd Zalkins: So, you're real sensitive to alcohol.  Amy Dresner: Yeah. And it was ... I'd get naked and violent and so I was Oh, maybe not that, but then I found crystal meth and that was the drug that made me feel, I got that moment of "Oh my God, this is what I'm looking for, I feel normal for the first time in my life".  Todd Zalkins: That gave you that little balance. Amy Dresner: Yeah, I was ... "why isn't everyone on this? holy shit, this is what I need to be on the planet, you're not going to take it away from me." Todd Zalkins: what was your crew of friends looking like just before you're 19 because that's when you started getting loaded, but what were your interpersonal relationships like in high school for instance? Amy Dresner: In high school I was with a bunch of other goody two shoes.  Todd Zalkins: Really? Amy Dresner: Yeah. No one really drank, no one really smoked. No one did any drugs-  Todd Zalkins: You guys weren't very fun. Me and my friends would be- Amy Dresner: No, I made up for it later, believe me, I was very sluttty and fun later- Todd Zalkins: You played catch up later?  Amy Dresner: Yeah, I was in a really ... all my friends were sort of not geeky just we were just straight, but my father was "hey, I'll bet you'll drink or smoke or do drugs before you're 18 and I said "I bet I won't "and he said "I'll bet you 1000 bucks" and I always make this terrible joke that's how Jews raise each other. We just bribe each other, so dumb. And so I waited till I was 19 to drink, and I was in college, and everyone's drinking in college. I was a virgin in college, and I was Oh, and I never drank, and I was "yaiks"! Todd Zalkins: Did you collect the 1000 bucks?  Amy Dresner: Yeah. Todd Zalkins: You better have. Amy Dresner: And then I was, okay, I'm a weirdo here in college, having never drank and having never had sex and we need to sort that now.  Todd Zalkins: Can you bring us back to ... if you can remember the first drink was it a party situation, couple of girlfriends, what was it looking like? Amy Dresner: It was in the dorms, and it was Greyhound and they were “Yea, It's Amy's first drink” and we had some great hounds. It was some boys, my roommate and it was all my close friends and I remember laughing and I drank and I was sitting down and then I got up and I fell down I didn't realize how drunk I was, but there wasn't that moment of kissing Jesus like that. That I had from crystal and then I just was drinking but it was college, everyone's drinking and throwing up and skipping classes and blacking out. It didn't look that different from anyone else's drinking at that point.  Todd Zalkins: The alcohol or the drinking stuff, you function pretty well early on, right? Amy Dresner: Yeah, I was having a nervous breakdown in college, but that was from mental issues, depressive stuff. I have a full blown eating disorder but I was still getting straight A's and that kind of stuff. I think the first or four nervous breakdowns. I like to have a nervous breakdowns every decade.  Todd Zalkins: I had one before you got here.  Amy Dresner: Did you? Todd Zalkins: I did. That's why I was sweating so bad. That's why you thought I was detoxing still. 11 and a half years sober I still going through post acute withdrawal symptoms. God, where was I here? In the college scene you're doing what everybody's doing and all that kind of stuff. Did you have that kind of epiphany where a lot of people you often hear, “okay, once I started doing this with these people, I'm part of something bigger” was it that feeling or absolutely not? Amy Dresner: I've always felt weird and sort of disconnected from other people and I still feel weird. I feel connected to I have great friends. I have great people in the program and that kind of stuff but no, I didn't have that ... despite my terror and my insecurity, I have a lot of weird fake bravado that some people think I'm really outgoing and I'm not terrified and so it was my early act as if. Todd Zalkins: Were you consumed with the notion or the idea of I really want everybody to like me. Amy Dresner: No. Todd Zalkins: You didn't have that going on. You're anarchist from birth? Amy Dresner: No. Todd Zalkins: Did you hate authority? Amy Dresner: No, because my dad was cool and I got good grades and No, I wasn't like that.  Todd Zalkins: Okay. So you just kind of rolled with stuff, you rolled with life and just. Amy Dresner: Yeah, I got special attention. I can be very ... I can figure out a way, I'm very manipulative and I can find a connection to the authoritative figure so that I get special treatment and my shit gets to fly. My bad attitude, my whatever. That special snowflake I'm different, that's the way I roll.  Todd Zalkins: You brought up a topic that I want to discuss for a few moments. You mentioned maybe some moments of depression or depressive disorder and stuff like that because I too have gone through it. I've battled a great deal of depression both loaded and certainly sober. So, at the young age that when you're in college and stuff like that, were you doing any type of treatment for? Is it okay if we talk about that for a second? Amy Dresner: Sure, I'll talk about everything, tell me anything. I got into therapy and I was really “wow”, something ... I need meds and he was “no” and I didn't get on sort of medication till I was maybe 22. I think it's important, I think that if you have a chemical imbalance, you should be on meds and that doesn't make you not sober. I'm an AA, I see it ... I blow 11 tradition all the time. I think it's super fucking outdated and I think that it drives away more people because they think it's a creepy Christian cult. Todd Zalkins: It saved my life.  Amy Dresner: Yeah, so I'm all about it, and I think more people need to come forward as sober and I'm all about the recover out loud thing to break the stigma. I don't think you can break the stigma of addiction without breaking the stigma of recovery, it's weird to me. Todd Zalkins: That's awesome. Amy Dresner: I'm really out with it. You can be on meds and you are still sober. AA is for your alcoholism. It is not for your fucking mental illness or your diabetes. It's not Christian Science, It's not Scientology. If you add fucking diabetes or fucking cancer and be “you need to drive around more newcomers. You're not doing your steps hard enough, you're not working, you're not connected enough to your HP” it's fuck you!. I definitely have a chemical disorder. Todd Zalkins: I so appreciate what you just said because and this is what I came to find and that is I could not out think my depression, I could not think It, I couldn't out exercise it. I couldn't out sponsor people. All the crap that we do from a recovery sense, which kept me physically sober, but mentally I was going through a tremendous amount of stuff. I just wasn't getting fixed.  Amy Dresner: I have a piece coming out in the fix about depression and sobriety.  Todd Zalkins: Awesome.  Amy Dresner: And what I've learned through Dr. Howard Weissmann who is amazing, amazing person and Dr. Addictionalist, psychiatrist, sober person used to be the chief medical officer of towns and treatment centers is first of all, there is something to AA making you being part of and sharing and being of service does create more dopamine receptors so it does actually fix your brain a little bit but there's a lot of us who have something called low dopamine tone to start with as addicts and you can have a genetic test to see if you have this enzyme where we have a problem converting folic acid that you get from food into L'methylfolate which is what creates dopamine and serotonin. You need enough of that stuff to fucking be going so you can take an L'methylfolate supplement and that's just changed my fucking life. Todd Zalkins: Yeah, because absence serotonin and dopamine being active in your system the low level depression that sets is so extreme. Tell me if you agree or disagree on this but this has been my experience and that is I think so many people end up getting frustrated when they're new and recoveries because they're just not feeling okay. It's because it takes a while. It takes a bit. Amy Dresner: Well, absolutely, my first year was terrible, I tell everyone. I never had a pink cloud. I would cry. Todd Zalkins: Same here, cry gray clouds. Amy Dresner: Yeah, I cried every fucking day. I was really angry and super crazy and had a lot of cravings and it was extremely difficult, but I think also, the problem to which I've realized and this will all come out, this is different in the book, but antidepressants deal with serotonin and drugs deal with dopamine, and so that's different. It's a different thing.  Todd Zalkins: But we need both, and I know that I had destroyed[crosstalk 00:16:19] Amy Dresner: Yes, that's why ... guess what creates dopamine? Fucking smoking cigarettes, nicotine. Why do you think that everyone's fucking smokes? Why do you think everyone's fucking everyone? Or gambling or whatever because it's “ooh, new spike of dopamine.” Todd Zalkins: Do you wanna know what George Carlin, my favorite comedian said about smoking. He said “do you want to know why people smoke? Because it helps”. Amy Dresner: Yeah, I was smoking and then I was vaping which is so douchey. "Here's me with an enormous chrome, fucking penis in my mouth driving ... why are people looking at me like a doctor whose screwdriver”? And I was-  Todd Zalkins: It's a true value little compact thing to go. Amy Dresner: Oh and then instead of moving downward I was moving upward and I was getting ite once a CB radio and I was getting bigger, and I was ... I gotta stop, but when I stopped, I crashed so hard because all the dopamine and the nicotine was spiking left. Todd Zalkins: let's come back to college years, getting out of college years. In college, had you come across the methamphetamine or speed?  Amy Dresner: Nope. Todd Zalkins: Not yet. Amy Dresner: I remember ... Okay, this is not funny. I walked into my college dorm room and my roommate at the time was doing coc with her sorority sisters on my computer, and I was “Oh my God, you're doing cocaine on my computer? That's just so bad, this is disgusting”?. Fast Forward, 10 years I'm shooting cocaine, so all I have to say is careful what you judge because you become it. Todd Zalkins: No doubt. It's so funny you say that. I remember seeing a dear friend of mine, he was trying to kick heroin, and I told myself I remember I didn't make a joke. I was just ... "feel free to get off that shit" and here I was first off not having any clue as to the level of pain that someone's going through, and I love this person very, very much and yet I became that and more. Amy Dresner: Oh yeah that's the story of my book, everything I judged, that was it. Todd Zalkins: Tell the viewers and the listeners about the progression of what happened with you and where it turned and stuff like that. Amy Dresner: I didn't know who I was. I'd grown up very sheltered and after my second nervous breakdown at 22, 23 and getting fired from my job for drinking on the job which wasn't a ding for me but also depression. I moved to San Francisco and I was “let's just say yes to everything, we're gonna say yes to the universe” and I fooled around with girls and I had[inaudible 00:19:02] and I did Molly and I did crystal and I got on stage and dah dah, and it was the crystal that was “ding”. And it brought me down so fast within seven months I'm living in a flophouse with gutter pumps and skinheads but I'm ... “this is cool” because I'm from Beverly Hills I'm ... “this is a Tarantino movie I'm in way” I was digging it and anyway I got a huge infection in my face from crystal meth and my parents came up and they dragged me back to Los Angeles to get clean. Todd Zalkins: Really quick, were you injecting the drug?  Amy Dresner: No, I've never injected. Todd Zalkins: smoked or snorted. Amy Dresner: snorting at that point later was smoking. I didn't get into injecting till I got into coc and by that point I had epilepsy from Crystal so I was scared to fuck with crystal, because I was ... “coc's natural, crystal is made with gin brewing and drinals, so coc is different but- Todd Zalkins: I had a great deal of stock in Pablo Escobar drink, I really did. I sold the stock it's because I bought it from his affiliates. I don't have stock anymore.  Amy Dresner: That's good.  Todd Zalkins: Yeah, it's a good thing. Was there a point in time where things really turn. Let's face it for a while, we both know that drugs and alcohol can work wonderfully. They can work wonderfully for a while, and then- Amy Dresner: I don't know that crystal ever really works that wonderfully. I was staying up for 17 days in a row and refinishing furniture and dumpster diving, plucking my eyebrows for six hours writing a new Bible, I don't know that it was ever working that well. It was certainly keeping my depression at bay but- Todd Zalkins: From the outside it wasn't working from what I can tell, but however for you, you were working all sorts of stuff.  Amy Dresner: Yeah, I was writing a book and all this kind of stuff, but I walked into a market and I woke up in an ambulance and I'd had a seizure and that got me into my first of six of treatment centers. Todd Zalkins: Along the way, in your mid 20s, late 20s, were your parents or close friends going, "Hey, Amy, shake yourself here, you got to look at this" was that happening at? Amy Dresner: My parents didn't really know what was going on. They had gotten me in to work with a therapist was really hard on drugs, and I was high every session in a year, and he never fucking could tell.  Todd Zalkins: Want to talk about that really quick.  Amy Dresner: I was ... “you damn shit”. I do rails in the bathroom before I go into his office and he never fucking could tell. Todd Zalkins: I have that same story. Amy Dresner: My endowment would suit him, he was so fucking pissed, but my parents ... they didn't know what to do. They were just ... I wasn't done they were “go into treatment, please go into treatment”, and I was ... “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, I'm not ready, I'm not done, I need this” blah blah" and then I had that seizure and it really freaked me out and I went into treatment and I never fucked with crystal again. I got high on a bunch of other different things but I never touched crystal again in five years sober I developed full blown epilepsy seizure disorder. I've hyperactive lesions on my frontal lobe from meth. Todd Zalkins: Therapy is not effective if we're high. Amy Dresner: You think? Todd Zalkins: I couldn't fall off the chair, but I wanted to when you said "yeah, I'm packing my beak before I go to see a doctor" I actually would excuse myself in the middle of a session, "doc I'll be right back, I gotta use a restroom" I come back, and I've got shit all over my nose, and I don't think he even paid attention. Amy Dresner: Incredible right?.  Todd Zalkins: Yeah, I don't think he was really paying attention. Amy Dresner: He knew I was here because I had a drug problem and depression.  Todd Zalkins: Not a whole lot of parental intervention or there's not really crisis[crosstalk 00:23:06] Amy Dresner: They were trying. And then later on, they got very, very involved where they would just throw me in a rehab and detox all the time threatening to cut me off, drug testing me all the time, moving me from state to state, they got really involved. Todd Zalkins: Okay, and was at any particular time when you're exposed to treatment. Was there ever a moment that you're going "God, maybe I should change." Amy Dresner: Yeah, I stayed clean. When I first went to treatment, I stayed clean for a year, but I thought I was a tweaker and not an alcoholic, so I was ... "Well, I can drink", so I drank, and I blacked out. And I was in a blackout for three weeks drinking. I don't even know what happened. And then I was ... "oh, maybe not". And then I stayed dry for seven years.  Todd Zalkins: Wow. let's talk about that period. For seven years, you were physically sober on your own? Amy Dresner: Yep.  Todd Zalkins: And can you talk a little bit about untreated alcoholism, and sobriety, was it gnarly? Amy Dresner: I was depressed, My life was this fucking big. I was miserable all the fucking time. It was awful.  Todd Zalkins: That's awesome, though, that you were sober for seven years in that regard, physically speaking, because[crosstalk 00:24:17] Amy Dresner: That's why I tell people, “you can do it, but you're going to feel like shaking your life is going to be this fucking day and you're not going to change at all”.  Todd Zalkins: Seven years clean with no program, and then the other shoe fell off or something. Amy Dresner: Well, I had another nervous breakdown. That's my hobby, and I was gonna have a hobby, some people neat, so I have nervous breakdowns, that's my thing, but I haven't had one for a while. But, I popped open a bottle of wine. I fucking slit my wrists with the box cutter. I was like I'm out, and so that was pretty gnarly. That's in the book, got stitched up and then I came back to LA and I was making out with some loser at the standard and he brew pot smoking my mouth. And I was ... “Oh my god, I'm high” for the first time in seven years high, and I was ... “I can smoke pot”. I hate pot, so now I'm sailing in pot every day and hating it. And then I was ... "I can drink, it'll be okay, and then I'm drinking. Then I'm ... “I can do coc because coc's not crystal” Todd Zalkins: Its natural. Amy Dresner: Right. It's natural. It's not made from drinal and gin brewing and whatever the fuck else. And so then I am in treatment for the second time and I relapse out of treatment, and then I start injecting cocaine, shooting cocaine.  Todd Zalkins: There's a good snapshot of some progression right there. Amy Dresner: Yeah, and then shooting cocaine ... you can have a seizure shooting cocaine normally, but shooting cocaine with epilepsy is a seizure city, and so I'd shoot cocaine wearing a bike helmet, so I wouldn't pop my head open.  Todd Zalkins: Are you being serious? Amy Dresner: Yeah, I'm totally serious. I was "shit, Okay, I get it". It is a high impact sport. I get it, I'm going to wear protective gear, and it made total sense at the time. Todd Zalkins: At a party, "who's the chick with the bike helmet?" "Leave her alone she's got her little hobby, and we just leave her alone, she's a Mrs. Lance Armstrong of meth" that's fricking great, I've never had a protective helmet. Now, with regards to the epilepsy, do you medicate? Do you take something?- Amy Dresner: Yeah, I take medication, and I have it under control for, God almost five years now. Todd Zalkins: Good for you. This stuff kicks in after seven years sober, I'm assuming that we're getting close to the end of the line here of you're drinking and using. Are we getting close? Amy Dresner: No. Todd Zalkins: We have more to go. After you went back out, how long were you out for? Amy Dresner: I guess couple years. I finally started get sober when I was shooting cocaine. I don't know a couple years I guess on and off. It's hard to shoot coc constantly. It's expensive you have to feed the monkey, it's not exactly a social thing you can't get over and be “Hey, what's up, you want a beer? Let me get out my syringes”. It's very much a loner sport.  Todd Zalkins: It's tough to lay that stuff out of the bar. Get a couple shots, "guys hang on, I got the 100 here, could give me some water" Amy Dresner: I went to ... again, they did more therapy. This, that, I started going in meetings. I kept relapsing, kept relapsing, I got three and a half years clean. I had a grand mal seizure just because they screwed up my medication and they gave me Ativan and that caused the relapse. That caused another ... when that stuff hit me, I was ... “Oh, yeah”, so then I was on Atovan thing, more psych ward attempts and then, periods of sobriety. Basically, the end was 2011. I was married and I had been prescribed oxycodone for a shoulder injury and I had been sober about a year and a half at the time and I don't like opioids but I like anything that makes me feel different and that veil went down and I was ... “oh I don't give a fuck awesome” Amy Dresner: And I got in a fight with my now ex husband and it got physical and I pulled a knife on him and he called the cops and I got arrested for felony domestic violence with a deadly weapon and I went to jail. Todd Zalkins: How long were you on the oxycodone for? Amy Dresner: Only a couple months, not long. Todd Zalkins: Okay and is it shortly after that when you had I don't know if it's a moment of clarity but a moment of maybe willingness to make some changes? Amy Dresner: Like a typical alcoholic when we fuck up our lives then we drink over the fuck ups because "oh, poor me, look I'm going through a divorce and a criminal trial" and some drinking another suicide attempt, get into treatment again. I relapse in treatment, I get thrown another sober living, I relapse in sober living, I go to another sober living and at this point it's the end. My parents are just "we have no more money, we're over it" and my moment of clarity came when I was doing community labor for my domestic violence. Amy Dresner: I was sweeping the streets, I was on a chain gang with me and 40 fucking Mexican dudes and then "what are you here for do wedder, huh? I'm here for DUI, What are you here for?" And "I'm here for felony and domestic violence with deadly weapon" they're "Oh shit", So it was humbling.- Todd Zalkins: You're the very top of the line right there. Amy Dresner: It was super humbling. I was the only girL. It was very humbling to show up because I was "oh my God, I'm not a criminal”. I had more time than anyone else. I was one of the few people there for assault. It was extremely humbling and when I was sweeping trash and human feces and syringes in the hot sun for fucking eight hours a day, I had 240 hours community labor, and I had a life changing epiphany.  Todd Zalkins: And was it, "I gotta make a change" Amy Dresner: Yeah, I'd already was sober. I was sober already [crosstalk 00:30:10] I was sober living. Todd Zalkins: But sticking with it though. Amy Dresner: But It was ... I gotta change my fucking character and I gotta change my whole attitude. I'm going to change my whole victim attitude. Maybe this is the best thing that ever happened to me. Could this be the best thing that ever happened to me and not the worst thing that ever happened to me? And I just was ... okay, “you created this Amy. This is the result of all your actions and who you are. You don't like it? Change it”. And I just embraced I was ... okay, humility, work ethic. How can I find the humor in this, let's finish what we start, so we don't go to jail.  Amy Dresner: I just embrace the whole thing, and it shifted. I had been really a spoiled brat before then, I didn't want to take responsibility for myself for my life. I didn't want to be financially responsible and you meet your destiny on the road you've got to avoid it. Todd Zalkins: You're bringing up such good points here, this really self analysis and I think so many people cannot get past this part of sobriety which is "okay, I'm left with me now right, I got a little bit of physical sobriety" but now the emotions and all and it sounds like you're facing these things, demons What have you all this stuff head on. Amy Dresner: Yeah, and that was “I need a fucking really make a fucking change here”, but I still had the ... I was uncomfortable, I was broke, I was 42 years old, I was in sober living for two and a half years. I had a criminal record, I had no job, I was freelance writing, I was “fuck!” And I felt a little sorry for myself and I also was uncomfortable. Feelings would come up and I was pretty early in sobriety, I didn't know how to deal with them. Amy Dresner: Smoking a lot, vaping a lot and I picked up a sex addiction which to me is all alcoholism. All that stuff is alcoholism, it's all “how do I get out of myself” and so I don't think it's separate, I did go Oslo and SAA and all that kind of stuff and it's was really mortifying. That's why I wrote the book ... I am exactly who you wouldn't think would be a perpetrator of domestic violence or a sex addict or. I had everything growing up and I just destroyed my life and myself and addiction does not discriminate. Todd Zalkins: It doesn't, and I appreciate all your transparency big time and thanks for ... you're really putting it all the stuff out there and what I want to ask is did you have some pretty good direction from some other women in the program here "hey, Amy look we got you, we got you, Let's just do the stuff that we do over here, and things are going to get better?" Amy Dresner: Yeah. This is interesting. Well, I was in sober living, and I had a group of women around me that were great, but no one could stop me from acting out sexually and all this kind of stuff, and honestly, you got to hit a bottom with that, you're done when you're done. As my sponsor says, "you stop a behavior when what it's doing to you, is worse than what it's doing for you". I finally hit a bottom with that, and I was ... "Wait a second, I don't want to do this anymore", and it felt so exactly like drug addiction. "I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this. Here I am doing this" and then regretting it. I would cry coming back from some guys house.  Amy Dresner: It was horrible. I have a male sponsor, and I've had a few male sponsors, and that can be tricky. People get a little bit weird about that. Only one of them spurk me, so that's pretty good odds.  Todd Zalkins: Hey, there we go, all right. Amy Dresner: I'm serious. That shit happens in the rooms. Such predatory behavior is very much prevalent in the rooms, and it sucks. Todd Zalkins: let's talk about that for a second because, I think the program has gotten ... first and foremost we're not talking about the bedrock of mental health. Amy Dresner: No, of course not. Todd Zalkins: Okay and I do want to say this though, and I think that you're going to concur, but I'm gonna speak from my own experience that is there's a lot of really good groups where people look after each other- Amy Dresner: Absolutely, I was not obviously in one of those. Todd Zalkins: I'm thankful I was raised in a group of ... This guys, they would just say “look, you're going to men's meetings man, you don't need to be dealing with other” ... primarily I did but my point being that, not to give the program a bad rap. There are wonderful groups. There are some places let's face it, there's gonna be some stuff-  Amy Dresner: The steps ... the program is solid. The fellowship is a microplasm of the real world and if you think it's going to be some safe ... wherever there's a power hierarchy and there becomes a power hierarchy in meetings, you're going to have sexual predatory behavior because there's a power imbalance. Happens in Hollywood, it happens to the government. It happens in the military. You think AA is going to be immune to that? Because, it is people who are sick, and I think that for me, what I've seen in my 20 years in and out of the program is that sexual and intimacy and relationship recovery are sort of the last version for many men. Todd Zalkins: Physical sobriety comes first, we all know, and I think too, that there's a lot of people who just do not address stuff that maybe the program just can't fix.  Amy Dresner: Also, they just think "oh, I'm sober and that's okay". If you're not having integrity, you're treating women like garbage, that's part of this whole thing. We use this in all our affairs, but I did not have women pull me aside and go "Hey, these are the predators and dah, dah, dah". Todd Zalkins: This is predator X, there's Y and stay the fuck away from that guy.  Amy Dresner: You know what though? I don't consider myself a victim. I needed validation, I was new, I wanted love, I wanted attention, I wanted to check out, I was never raped, I was a willing participant although I wasn't on all cylinders at the time, but I did have a lesbian sponsor for three and a half years and she was “you're not going to mixed meetings anymore, you're going to women's meetings and gay meetings, and that's it”. And I was “how am I going to get laid doing that?” And she's ... “you're not, you're gonna concentrate on recovery.” “My God, that sounds boring”, but I got a crush on a girl, and I'm straight.  Amy Dresner: Again, it's alcoholism. It's “oh, you, you're gonna fucking fix it, you're my happiness, you're my outside answer”. That's the whole thing that I talk about is for me, the substance is so immaterial. It's just a matter of dessert, extra donut or a coke. It's “oh, I put something in my body and I changed my feelings”. Now I've been celibate for a year and a half. I'm not on nicotine. I become this weird person that I always made fun of.  Todd Zalkins: It sounds like you identified a whole bunch of stuff, worked on a whole bunch of stuff, and speaking of work, I want to ask you about the "my fear junkie" book. At what point did you start writing that? Amy Dresner: I was chronicling the sweeping the streets stuff while it was happening, and it was everyone's favorite Facebook posts of mine. I would take pictures of what I saw, “another day on the chain gang”. I didn't hide it at all, that's kind of my way to deal with shame is sort of “here it is”, and the people were just “oh my God, this is amazing”. And everyone was rooting me on. They were ... “those were so hilarious, get arrested again”. I was “Oh no”. My editor at the time was “you have a book, that's the framework of your book", “Okay”.  Amy Dresner: I've been writing for the fixed since 2012, this must have been 2014 where I started to I think put started writing the book.  Todd Zalkins: How did it take you to finish? Amy Dresner: I had six months, I have a six month deadline. That was it, and I was made sure I hit that deadline because I was thinking "oh, they're going to give an ex junkie all this money", and I wanted to be on deadline. I'm good like that. That's what the program is given me is showing up, integrity. If I say, I'm going to be there, I'm going to be there. I make my deadlines, I show up, I keep my word.  Todd Zalkins: I totally appreciate what you just said there Amy. We got to change so much beyond just the getting ... the drink, the using whatever[crosstalk 00:39:08] Amy Dresner: That's just the beginning. That was the answer. Then you've got to really learn how to become a good person, and have a moral compass and act ... I had one sponsor, and he said “you don't have to be a good person, you just have to act like one, no one knows the fucking difference Amy” Todd Zalkins: Oh, that's interesting. Amy Dresner: And I was ... "but that's not truthful". And he's right. You act like a good person over and over and over. No one cares about your intentions, they care about your actions. Todd Zalkins: That's right.  Amy Dresner: But if you act like a good person over and over and over again, you become a good person that becomes your character. Action is character. Todd Zalkins: It's kind of like retraining the DNA, and just your brain, everything. Amy Dresner: It actually, you create a new neural pathway, which is your default go to and that's your default go to pathway and so now I don't have to try to be a good person. I mostly am a good person. Todd Zalkins: When some big fucking hairy guy, this guy was just massive. He goes, “you gotta change or you got a die son” I'm looking ... “What the hell, Why? What does that mean man?” And now I understand that now. I have to change. We have to make changes in order for us to, I think be reasonably happy and to somewhat thrive in this life of ours because the other direction doesn't sound too appealing to me today. I don't think it does for you either.  Amy Dresner: No. Oh God no. And most people have love the book. I've gotten a lot of messages where people are ... “holy shit, you keep it real. Thank you for your honesty and your humor, I just feel less broken, I feel less alone. You made me laugh at stuff that before I just felt so ashamed about”. I have a bunch of psych ward stories. I got 51, 50 four fucking times and the sex addiction stuff, all of it. And people were just “Thank you”, even a parole officer wrote to me and he was "I understand addiction better than I ever have with 23 years on the job. Todd Zalkins: That's so cool. Amy Dresner: And I was ... “Fuck yes!” I fucking accomplished something, but some people are ... “she's a dick in the book” and, I was “you know what? that's the reality I was mentally ill, and I was on fucking drugs. You bet your sweet ass I was a fucking dick”. I choose to throw over being likable for the truth and also where's their transformation? If you're an angel when you're fucking shooting cocaine and smoking crystal meth and boning guys half your age on Tinder, why the fuck get sober?. Todd Zalkins: I so relate to this. I remember getting some messages from some moms in the Midwest, this great. She says “Todd, my son really got a lot out of your book but if you're my son, I would have spanked you a lot more” and, I said “getting lined” and, the reality is though, a lot of people, this is so true they harbor stigma. It is really tough to digest and really look at what we're like when they're in it.  Amy Dresner: Yeah. I was really honest about what it was like, because if you're trying to look good writing an addiction memoir, you're not being honest enough for real. Jerry Stahl who is a friend of mine and blurb the book who's my icon. There's a great quote from him, and he said ... he wrote permanent midnight, which was one of the first iconic addiction memoirs, and he said, "if you had the nerve to live, what you lived, you should have the nerve to write it". I was "Okay bitch"  Todd Zalkins: Oh, that's cool.  Amy Dresner: I wrote everything, I didn't want to write. The stuff where I was ... "Oh, God, I do not want to put this on a page". I thought, "Amy, don't hold back" Todd Zalkins: Yeah, there's only one thing in mind that I could not ... I was not ready to look at the child abuse and molestation. Amy Dresner: I'm sorry. Todd Zalkins: No, it's okay. I'll tell you why it's okay, because I'm on the other side of it today, and I've done a shit load of work about it. At 18 months sober I was not ready. In fact, I kept burying it, does that make any sense? Amy Dresner: Yeah, of course.  Todd Zalkins: Just push it down and, I'm a proud survivor today. I'm not a victim. Amy Dresner: Good for you. Todd Zalkins: It's all good. Amy Dresner: That's heavy shit, that's trauma. Todd Zalkins: Yeah and it's okay, but I want to come back to this book of yours is helping a lot of people find recovery is that right? Amy Dresner: Yeah some people ... even though people are "oh you're bashing AA meetings or whatever. I wasn't someone who rolled in a meeting. I was “I love this” and I wasn't someone who rolled into a meeting was sober from that day forward either. I was ... “this is creepy, what's what the Kumbaya hand holding, what's what the shit on the walls”? And because of my honesty and my anger around the whole thing, going to a big book study and just sitting there fucking bored and waiting to blow some dude or whatever I was doing at the time. People were ... "you made AA seem cool" and I identified. And I met people readers at a meeting for their first fucking meeting, and they got clean. Todd Zalkins: And how much does that ... doesn't that give you just a great feeling that people are getting it. Amy Dresner: It's service. People were ... "you gave me the opportunity to save my life, Thank you"  Todd Zalkins: That's the best. Amy Dresner: And I was just ... "holy shit" Todd Zalkins: That is so cool. Amy Dresner: I know, it's super cool. Todd Zalkins: At the beginning of the show while I was reading a bit about your bio Amy, it sounds like you got a couple of speaking engagements coming up what's going on there? Can you share with the listeners. And the viewers? Amy Dresner: I got asked to speak at "she recovers" which is a 600 women event at the Beverly Hilton from September 14 to 16th with Mackenzie Phillips and Cheryl Strayed and Janet Mock, and I'm ... "are you sure you want me? I have sailor mouth and obnoxious" and they're ... "yeah, we want you"and I'm "okay" Todd Zalkins: That's so cool. What's the date again and is this open to ... do you buy tickets or[crosstalk 00:45:05] tell people. Amy Dresner: They're still ... you can still buy tickets. If you're a woman, it's sherecovers.com I think the LA event, you can just google it, it'll come up. You can get a day pass too. I'm speaking on the 15th at the gala and then I'm super honored to be there. I'll be there signing books and meeting people and then I got asked to be the speaker at the mindful recovery and wellness symposium in North Carolina, so it's huge in the deep south, that's gonna be interesting.  Todd Zalkins: And by the way guys, It's called "she recovers" not "he recovers" so if you're a dude don't plan on enrolling, or you gonna dress really nice and put a lot- Amy Dresner: What's cool about it, is that "she recovers" is for recovering from anything. Trauma, eating disorder, cutting all of that stuff. It's not just alcohol adiction. [crosstalk 00:46:03] Todd Zalkins: It's recovery symposium for all such a good stuff. Amy Dresner: Looks like I might be speaking in Canada in January and I feel so honored that people want to hear what I have to say because I was just such a fuck up for so long. To turn it around and be an inspiration is incredibly humbling.  Todd Zalkins: I am honored to have you on today, and I want to show the book cover again for people who joined us late. “My Fair junkie” by Amy Dresner is a memoir of getting dirty and staying clean. It's available everywhere, and she's not leaving me with this copy. I'm very upset about this by the way. Amy Dresner: I only have one hardcover left.  Todd Zalkins: One hardcover?  Amy Dresner: You can buy it, why don't you buy it?  Todd Zalkins: I'll buy it. I will buy it. I thought we're going to trade ... I'm just kidding [crosstalk 00:46:56] anyways you guys give this a look. It's available everywhere. I want to thank you so much for being on the program. Amy Dresner: Oh my God, thank you for having me. Todd Zalkins: If we could have one more parting shot before I get to some thank you's. Could you share with it doesn't matter if men or women out there listening something that can make them believe and realize there is hope out there. Can you share with the listeners, the viewers. “You know what? I'm struggling”, you can do this right? Amy Dresner: Yeah absolutely. No matter how many times you've fallen on your face, you can absolutely get this, you just need to find someone who believes in you and believe that they believe and just take the action. Don't let your feelings drag you around. Your feelings in your head will lie to you and they are not your friend. That's the thing that I finally gotten is sobriety was not to listen to my feelings and if you know if you want to use, wait 20 minutes, just watch something on TV, take a bath, jack off, call someone whatever, because the urge passes whether you use or not.  Amy Dresner: And it took me a really longTime to figure that out. You can tolerate your feelings. It's not fun, but you can tolerate and you don't pick up and you don't open up that vortex. You do that one day at a time and it gets easier. You have to act yourself in the right thinking. That's all there is to it. It's hard, but it's doable. And if I can get sober fucking, anyone can get sober. I'm the female Robert Downey Jr said. Todd Zalkins: You see, that was a perfect way to part ways. Amy Dresner telling it like it is and certainly how it was for her, and I think a lot of people are going to be inspired by what they've heard today and certainly hopefully a few people pick up the book, "My Fair junkie". I want to do a quick little thank you to some people who are checking this out. Joshua Richardson, Brandon Yates, Brian birch, Chris, Roseanne, Kelly shelters, Erica, Elaine Smith, Katie Gibson, Nicholas, Monica Steffi. You guys thank you so much for making some comments on the board while we're chatting away and hopefully share this video today and once again, Amy Dresner, I wish you all the success in the world with your book, "My Fair junkie".  Todd Zalkins: And I know that I am going to order it, I will. You're going to leave here with a copy of my book. I signed it for you can use to burn stuff- Amy Dresner: Or I can use level a table or whatever. Todd Zalkins: Anyway, thank you so much Amy for being on the program with us today.  Amy Dresner: Thank you for having me. Todd Zalkins: It was absolute pleasure. And you guys thank you for watching Facebook Live and thanks for listening when the same gets onto Spotify and iTunes. Thank you everybody for joining us.

For our very first episode, I interviewed Elaine Smith, a design lover in Oakland, California. Elaine is legitimately obsessed with the furniture of Roy McMakin, who is a well-known artist, architect and designer; she's collected more than 30 pieces of furniture in the last 20 years or so. McMakin has honed his distinctive style—basic, colorful forms in an exaggerated scale, with idiosyncratic details—since the ‘80s.

On this weeks show my guest is Girl Camper and Sister on the Fly with the funniest bone of all, Elaine Smith. Elaine’s journey to Girl Camperhood started way before she became a sister on the fly and unlike most Girl Campers, Elaine started with a huge travel trailer and zero experience and set off […] The post Girl Camper #34: Meet Girl Camper, Elaine Smith appeared first on Girl Camper.

Join Holly Stephey and Best selling Author Janet Elaine Smith as they welcome in christmas with the traditional reading of Twas the Night before christmas! You never know who may call in Santa may I was told !

  Janet Elaine Smith has been writing for over 30 years, but her first book was not published until 2000. Now she has 22 books published and available. Three of them are non-fiction, including a memoir of the 9 years she and her late husband spent in Venezuela. "The rest of them are fun," she says. She writes in many genres, but her favorite is time travel, including her newest book, Port Call to the Future. "It is such fun to be able to change history." Several of her books are based on things she has found in her genealogy searches. She says her husband got all the rich and famous ancestors, while she got the fun ones.  A Little about her new Book! When pirate Black Sam Bellamy's ship, the Whydah, sank off the coast of Cape Cod in 1717, everyone from the crew was found, either dead or alive, except Black Sam himself. He was never seen again-until he washed up at a celebration of his demise that Blair Smythe hosted. Kin to Sam's love in the 1700s, Maria Hallett, Sam thought she was Maria. As Sam learns to deal with today's modern world, Blair sets out to prove that he is who he says he is. A fun romp through two times, with events that author Janet Elaine Smith says surprised even her. Port Call to the Future is the sequel to Maria's story, House Call to the Past.

Join H&R Block tax expert Elaine Smith and Jenn Fowler of Frugal Upstate for a tax Q&A session focusing on the unique income situations of bloggers, consultants and small businesses. When you are done, don't forget to check out the screencast of Block Live featuring Elaine on Block Talk-the H&R Block blog. 

Join H&R Block tax expert Elaine Smith and Jenn Fowler of Frugal Upstate for a tax Q&A session focusing on the unique income situations of bloggers, consultants and small businesses. When you are done, don't forget to check out the screencast of Block Live featuring Elaine on Block Talk-the H&R Block blog. 

At the top of the show host Cyrus Webb welcomes author Elaine Smith to Conversations LIVE. Then at 30 min. past the hour, Webb talks with author Mary Ellen Ciganovich.

Janet Elaine Smith first got "hooked" on writing when she wrote the experiences she and her family had gone through when they were missionaries in Venezuela. She turned her attention to creating fun, well-researched fiction books, but in order to add some money to the table and keep at her beloved craft, she explored the field of magazine writing, which she has actively done for over 25 years. She has over 2,000 magazine articles to her credit, but her dream came true with the publication of Dunnottar, her first book, in June 2000. Now she has 14 novels and 2 non-fiction books to her credit, and has, as she says "at least 120 more written--in my head." She promises that you will laugh a little, cry a little and always have a happily-ever-after ending in every single Janet Elaine Smith novel.Visit her website at http://janetesmithstarbooks.tripod.com/

GIRL-NEXT-DOOR: Girl-next-door Elaine Smith joins Comedian Dave Ross and me, Sex Nerd Sandra as we talk brothels, booty toys and a few more things a bit... taboo. We answer 2 listener questions on toys and blow jobs, then finish with a jovial roundtable discussion on hands-free bj machines. Pictures at SexNerdSandra.com!

This audio-recording is a collaborative effort by the Mystic Mind Podcast's, Jesse Miller and Elaine Smith, author of the blog: 'I Heart My Sharkfin'. Recorded at Miller/Madden Studios in Los Angeles, this audio-podcast features their conversation about Elaine's cancer-healing process, and meditation's crucial role IN that process. Elaine provides a bit of her personal background, the importance of diet, herbs, meditation, and sleep, and recaps her blog, thus far. Featured music: 'Om Namah Shivaya' by Swami Chidvilasananda (Bhupali Raga) http://iheartmysharkfin.blogspot.com/ (Elaine's Blog) http://www.facebook.com/elainetheresasmith (Elaine's Page on Facebook) http://www.siddhayoga.org/ (Swami Chidvilasananda) http://mysticmind.podomatic.com (Mystic Mind Website) http://www.facebook.com/groups/90231123508/ (Mystic Mind Facebook Group) http://www.critterjones.com (Jesse's family band)

Greetings folks! I feel so blessed and thankful to chat with y'all again. Today's episode is mainly about the importance of a personal meditation practice; and more-so, the healing benefit and relief from the ego-death-process that meditation provides. Also discussed is using the breath as a tool (THE tool) for liberation from thought and 'the story of me'. Or in your case, 'the story of you!' Ah, yes! And Jesse reads a short original piece called, 'The Philosopher & The Scientist'. :) Love and blessings to each and everyone of you! Intro music improv by yours truly (total BLITA-style rip-off, right?) Outro song: Critter Jones' 'Charlie' written by Corey Miller http://iheartmysharkfin.blogspot.com/ (Elaine Smith's Blog) http://www.critterjones.com (Jesse & Corey's family band) http://babebaker.com/ (Babe's website) http://www.smalltimecook.com/ (Lynzie's food blog) http://www.livinginmagic.org/blog/ (Michael Mackintosh) http://successultranow.com/home.php (Dr. Nick Good & Michael Mackintosh) http://sunburstonline.org (Sunburst Sanctuary - Norman Paulsen) Not Sunrise, that's a retirement home. oops! :D EPISODE ARCHIVED @: http://www.archive.org/details/MysticMindRevival

Toy Rescue, Custom Made for Kids, Free Shipping, Date for Trees, and more. Our guests are Charles Parker and Elaine Smith (with puppets Skip and Molly) from Toy Rescue and Archivist Alison. Spend: Custom Made for Kids: The first adventures of incredible you Save: FreeShipping.org Give: Date for Trees Archivist Alison's tip: Scanning pictures into your blog Also see: Trucktown Books Audible Kids pick of the week: The Penderwicks: A Summer Tale of Four Sisters, Two Rabbits, and a Very Interesting Boy by Jeanne Birdsall Hosts: Megan Morrone and Leo Laporte Guests: Charles Parker and Elaine Smith Full show notes available on Megan's blog, JumpingMonkeys.com. The Jumping Monkeys theme is by Paul Minshall. Bandwidth for Jumping Monkeys is provided by CacheFly.