Idiots On Parade, the Too Ugly for TV Podcast

00:00 Introductions01:28 Sydney Sweeney12:57 Private Function20:18 Tesla24:32 Mark Davis28:44 Final Destination Bloodlines—nathan is injured. Again.—One of the most attractive women on the planet is cashing in on the stupidity of men, and we are here for it.We discuss everything from the HBO show Real Sex, to all the silly things men buy from OnlyFans models. —Punk band Private Function is now selling a vinyl album that smells like Gwyneth Paltrow's honey pot. So… they have that going for them.—Everyone loves it when bad things happen to deserving people, and Elon Musk is absolutely deserving of horrible things. Tesla sales are down 90% in Canada. 90%.That. Is. A. Lot. —Bill Belichick has been receiving a lot of attention for being an overweight, crusty old man who's dating a young-enough-to-be-his-grandaughter Jordan Hudson, but you know what?Mark Davis is uglier (by far) than Bill, and dating a much hotter young woman. He was flying under the radar, until he suggested she liked him for his smile, not his money.Yeah.Not. True.Hayden Hopkins is a golddigger. Just own up to it.Jordan Hudson seems to be embracing the role.—Not much to say here. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan at nathantimmel.com

Welcome to this week's episode of the [Insert Podcast Name], where your favorite comedy duo makes sense of the senseless—one sarcastic joke at a time.Here's what we tackled:1. Adriana Smith & Georgia's Dystopian Abortion LawsThe tragic story of Adriana Smith—a brain-dead woman being kept on life support against her family's wishes—highlights just how extreme Georgia's abortion restrictions have become. It's like the Handmaid's Tale… except somehow less fictional.2. David Geffen's Go-Go Divorce82-year-old media mogul David Geffen is splitting from his 32-year-old go-go dancer husband. We're shocked, shocked that marrying someone 50 years younger didn't work out. True love, meet prenup.3. Venezuelans for Trump (Until He Meant Them)Venezuelan voters in Doral, Florida are suddenly questioning their MAGA hats. Trump's mass deportation plans weren't supposed to apply to them, right? Spoiler: They do.4. Salvatore Garau's Invisible SculpturesYes, an Italian artist is selling invisible sculptures. Real money. Fake art. He's out here living every art major's dream—and we can't even get people to pay attention to our  podcast.5. GiveSendGo: The Least Christian “Christian” SiteGiveSendGo claims to be a Christian crowdfunding platform, but with a client list that reads like a Southern Poverty Law Center watchlist, maybe it's time for a new mission statement.6. No Surrender… Except They DidA Bruce Springsteen cover band was booted from a gig because The Boss himself criticized Trump. We guess No Surrender... surrendered.Listen now for your weekly dose of political satire, ridiculous headlines, and just enough despair to keep things interesting.Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions01:13  Trump Derangement Syndrome 10:15 Deportation 18:16 Trump Watch26:18 DNC Leadership38:43 David Hogg44:49 South Africa—Once again, YouTube proves to be the worst platform for live streaming. When Jake and I were talking, we were both clear, and constant.Watching the playback? We're both glitchy.Jesus, get your technology together, YouTube. WTF?—People were outraged, outraged I say, over the fact Trump ate McDonald's in Saudi Arabia. Why?Because they have too much time on their hands.Or…It could be bots, pretending to be angry, in order to sow division among us.Tomato, tomahto. Also: we're talking Trump taking the most blatant bribe in the history of presidents with the $400 million airplane from Qatar. —This is actually an indictment of the news. The only way to explain it is to tell you to watch.A woman voted for Trump, and then he deported her husband.Hilarious?Yes.But even funnier is the fact that the news article was thumbnailed using a picture of Maya Rudolph… As Kamala Harris. That's how lazy the news media is now.Also: A troll shows up and wants to FREE PALESTINE, all caps.Good for him.—They say a fool and his money are soon parted, but what about a complete mouth-breathing moron?Well, that too.Tim Petit, resident of Rhode Island, has the IQ of a turnip.How do we know?He spent $640 to buy his wife a Trump watch.Turns out, it was a piece of garbage—who, except everyone, could have seen that coming?—but the company actually tried making things right!Petit was just such a big douche, he kept complaining, anyway.—Did you know that Joe Biden was falling apart mentally, and cover it up so that he could run for president in 2024, then drop out when the whole world saw him fall flat on his face in the first debate, handing the nomination to his veep, only to watch her run the same campaign that helped Hillary lose in 2016?If so, then you might just be a leader in the Democratic National Committee! They shoved Biden down our throats in 2020, and tried to do it again in 2024. Hey, how'd that turn out for everyone?—Speaking of the DNC being run like crap… David Hogg was elected to a leadership role in the DNC, but wait! Apparently they forgot that gender is important! Quotas are important!So, instead of accepting the vote as is, now they have to have another election, just so they can hit a quota. —Lol, the racism of this administration is just so blatant, it's funny.Just hilariously sad.Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions01:54 Storytime03:47 Sheduer Sanders05:05 Pope Trump09:01 Dave Portnoy18:43 Shiloh Hendrix27:35 Harvard31:37 Raw Milk35:01 South Carolina—nathan opens the show with a genuine foot-in-your-mouth moment.You have to hear it to believe it.—Yes, we're talking about him again. Not only did no NFL team want him, the Cleveland Browns, the team that drafted him, didn't want him!The video footage of the coach and GM reacting to what the owner shoved down their collective throat is hilarious.If you haven't seen it, get thee to Google, stat.—Trump posted a picture of himself as the pope, and people lost their minds.What is wrong with you dummies?Trump posts this nonsense just to get under your skin, and you fall for it every single time.It's a weird combination of hilarious, and sad.I mean, it's funny to watch you cry about everything, but you are pathetic. —You know what? F the news media. The Idiots on Parade podcast called Bill Belichick a submissive to Jordan Hudson's dominatrix last week, and no one said anything. Dave Portnoy mentions it in passing and gets stories written about it?F you, news media.F. You.—Speaking of Dave Portnoy and “effing” things: someone wrote “F the Jews” at one of his bars.I mean, they actually spelled it out, but… Yeah.It's all gone downhill from there, with some loser named “Mo Kahn” attempting to call himself a “citizen journalist” when he posted a picture of the sign, and who is now trying to profit off his actions with a fundraiser…Will he make money?Maybe.I mean…—Racist piece of human garbage Shiloh Hendrix launched the n-word at a child, and has raised over $700,000 playing the victim.Even worse, the CFO of the website she's using, a man who deserves anal warts like no other on the panet, Jacob Wells, says that as long as his website gets a cut of the take, he doesn't care how people raise money.(I'm paraphrasing, but that's the gist of things.)You want proof there's no God? I give you everything about this situation.—In a world filled with darkness, there needs to be a light, and this week, that light was Harvard.The absolutely unqualified Secretary of Education Linda McMahon sent Harvard a letter……and they corrected it and posted it publicly.God bless whoever thought to do that.It'd be even funnier if it wasn't so tragic, the fact she's in charge of anything.—Speaking of incompetent people in charge of things they have no business being in charge of…While this isn't a story about RFK Jr, it might as well be.Morons in West Virginia passed legislation in support of raw milk.They celebrated with a glass of the product……and all immediately fell ill.Unfortunately, they all survived.—Speaking of surviving, Mikal Mahdi was put to death by firing squad in South Carolina last month, but it turns out one of the shooters missed.Oopsies!—India and Pakistan got frisky, and by the time this video was edited and released, it was all over. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions00:34 The Cleveland Browns12:53 Bill Belichick & Jordon Hudson18:55 Michael Scheuer27:13 Amazon29:58 Heterosexual Awareness34:32 Rothko Painting Damaged38:05 Harvard—Oh, the hilarity… The Cleveland Browns promised Myles Garrett they had their quarterback situation figured out.They promised him.Aaaaaand, now they have 5 quarterbacks on their roster.One they're paying guaranteed money, even though there were multiple, Bill Cosby/Harvey Weinstein levels of accusations of misconduct against him, and he's perpetually injured.(Deshaun Watson.)One the Super Bowl Champion Eagles didn't want.(Kenny Pickett.)One who just dropped a hilariously awful TikTok that should get him released on principle alone…(Dillon Gabriel.)Journeyman Joe Flacco, who's done right by the team in the past and should probably get the starting position, and then Shedeur Sanders, who now has everything to prove to the world.Will he rise to the occasion?Time will tell.Either way, the Browns have always been a laughing stock.Given their off-season moves, they deserve it.—Love… Exciting and new…It sounds like the start of a joke, “What do you get when you put an attractive 24-year-old woman with a fat, ugly, rich 73-year-old man?”Why do we care?Sure, she's a gold-digger interested in his money.Yes, he's a pervert interested in arm candy.Big whoop?It's a transactional relationship, and they're both getting whatever they want out of it.But is it love?Oh hell no.—A good prank gone bad…Michael Scheuer hacked into the menu at Disney, and did naughty things.This could have been hilarious!He could have dropped the insane prices to something reasonable.He could have put in funny pictures, and descriptions.What did he do?He removed allergy information, putting people at severe risk.What an idiot.What could have been a slap on the wrist got him 3 years in prison.Good job, dummy.All you had to do was keep things light and funny, but you had to endanger people.—Speaking of things that could have been amazing…Amazon had the opportunity to do right by America, by posting tariff costs to items, but the White House (who wrongly and lyingly says China pays the tariffs) got angry.If what Dear Orange Leader is doing is so good and right and helpful, then whey doesn't he want the people to see how much he's costing them?It's almost like he's worried that if his really stupid followers actually saw the results of his policies, they'd wise up.Well, I don't think he has to worry, because these people are dumber than a box of rocks.That's all there is to it.—Mark Fitzpatrick is an insecure man-baby, and he goes out of his way to prove it every year.Fitzpatrick sponsors “heterosexual awareness” during Pride Month, because… well, why do insecure man-babies do what they do?Low intelligence, too much religion, a general lack of understanding of science, nature, the human condition…There are so many reasons idiots justify their behavior, and none of them are any good.—Another reason the world of art is a scam was exposed this past week when a museum in the Netherlands said a child damaged a $56 million dollar painting.What great work of art was this?A Rembrant? Picasso? Nope.Just three rectangles of paint on canvas, pink, yellow, and orange. That's it. Looks like a flag. The idea that piece of crap could be worth $56 million when anyone, literally anyone, could have painted it is absurd.Good on the kid for “damaging” it.—Donald “6 bankruptcies, 88 felony charges, 34 convictions, 2 impeachments” Trump is thinking of yanking Harvard's tax exempt status.Which leads us to ask: why does Harvard have tax exempt status?Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions01:49 Shedeur Sanders06:37 Federal Disaster Relief Funds12:50 Kanye West20:29 George Santos29:27 Rex Parris36:36 Mike Lindell41:41 Google Maps—nathan is in a low-quality hotel in Kentucky, and walks us through the surroundings. —Shedder Sanders wasn't a story nathan sent Jake, but it was all the rage while recording and a viewer threw it into the comments.Why did Sanders drop so far?He hadn't been selected as of the time of taping, but the Browns eventually grabbed him in the 5th round of the draft.The consistent word has been that he gave horrible interviews.Word has since come out that he was unprepared, and arrogant.SHOCKING.A nepo-baby with an egotistical father thinks he's the king?Who'd a thunk it?—Oh, this is a thing of beauty. Trump voters (as well as innocent victims) are being denied federal disaster assistance. First, North Carolina got the middle finger, and then, in a moment of wonderful, beautiful glory, Sarah Huckabee Sanders—former shill for the first Trump administration and a horrible human being in her own right—requested funds to help with tornado cleanup, and was told, “No.”We can't say it loud enough, THIS IS WHAT YOU VOTED FOR.The best comment I've seen regarding the 2024 election came on a TikTok. Some crybaby loser was about to lose his small business because of the Trump tariffs. He was pleading with Trump to end them, saying he voted for Trump, but didn't expect this.The comment on his video was, “You failed an open-book test.”Yup.Who knew one a-hole could do so much damage in 100 days? Anyone and everyone with an IQ higher than that of a turnip.—Kanye West had an incestuous, homosexual relationship with his cousin.I mean…What more do we need to say?—George Santos is going to prison.Good on him. Lying, cheating, hilarious loser.Couldn't have happened to a more deserving person.—Rex Parris, the mayor of Lancaster, California, said he wants to give homeless people all the fentanyl they want, and that maybe that will get rid of some of them.I mean… He's not wrong.He's probably trolling liberals, so, hey, liberals?Don't take the bait.You don't have to fly off the handle every time someone says something you don't like.Don't you get tired of being such thin-skinned crybabies?—Speaking of crybabies, Mike Lindell is in the news. Last week, he was sobbing on the phone with a judge (or maybe it was a Zoom call, I forget) saying he couldn't pay his fines, because he's destitute. Yeah, well, you're the one who lied and slandered, dummy.All you had to do was not be an insane a-hole, but that was too hard for you.Ending up homeless and in prison because you couldn't pay your fines would be just deserts for you, Mr. Pillow Douche. Anyway, his lawyers filed phony briefs filled with made up citations.Fine him some more!—What happens when Google Maps tells you to turn around, you're going the wrong way?Well, you drive past a concrete barrier meant to prevent traffic from entering an unfinished highway, and you drive off an incomplete ramp, dropping your car 40 feet in mere seconds.Dummy.Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions04:34 Holy Water Illness10:26 Huffpost12:45 RFK and Autism19:43 China, Russia, & Ukraine23:25 Trump Tariffs25:07 Beyonce33:18 Relationships—Easter is upon us! He is risen! nathan ain't doing nothing; Jake is visiting family.—Oh, you silly, silly Christians. You travel to Ethiopia, think it's a good idea to drink “holy water” from a fetid well, and wonder why you get cholera? You are so very, very dumb.Well, enjoy the bacteria.Idiots.Side notes involve Jewish Rodeos, and Jake's adventures with food in Afghanistan.—We were already talking allergies, and our immune system, so why not throw liberal media Huffpost into the mix?Huffpost ran an article on Pete Hegseth, and the fact he'll eat food off the floor, and never washes his hands.Does this make him Superman?Sure.In a gross kinda way.—RFK Jr. says the autism epidemic is bigger than COVID.Of course, he doesn't know what he's talking about, but I have insanely stupid friends that agree with him.Sad times to be alive indeed.That said, a TikToker named Jon, who goes by the handle “wholeparent,” actually offers up an incredibly insightful and intelligent (two things RFK Jr. isn't) take on autism.Short version: healthcare and school.What's meant by that?Tune in.—This story is fascinating… Chinese nationals taken prisoner by Ukraine claim they were kidnapped and forced to fight for Russia.This could have huge ramifications, if true.China has remained hands-off when it comes to Russia having invaded and started a war with Ukraine, but if their citizens are being used as cannon fodder, that could change.Not our funniest story, but certainly our most interesting.—Well, he's tanked the stock market, the economy is on the precipice, and now the U.S. dollar is losing value.All within 3 months of being in office.Donald Trump is truly amazing, and his followers are amazingly stupid.—Well, news media, you did it. You got two people with zero interest in Beyonce, to actually defend her.Apparently her tour isn't selling out, which shows there are at least a few people with common sense (and functional ears) out there…But is not being able to sell the final 3,000 tickets in an 80,000 seat stadium a big deal?Not to anyone with an IQ above that of a turnip, but when there's nothing to talk about, you have to invent drama.A side discussion involves NC Attorney General Jack Johnson taking on Live Nation/Ticketmaster, that evil monopoly. —nathan loves looking at clickbait stories, because they rarely disappoint. This story involved reasons relationships ended, and the one chosen is a doozy. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions00:32 Anderson Cooper11:30 Mahmoud Khalil20:36 NYC Helicopter Accident25:46 RFK Jr.32:16 Gayle King—Anderson Cooper made a mistake, live on CNN, at the Bernie Sanders town hall meeting.He accidentally misgendered a woman. Or a non-binary person. Something like that.In reality, it was a big non-issue.The woman corrected Anderson, Anderson said, “Oh,” and everyone went about their day.But, nathan and Jake disagree as to the importance of the event.Jake says it's a big nothing, and nothing more.nathan believes it's a big nothing that the right can use to create noise, and continually hammer the left as being out of touch.What do you think?—The one thing most sane people can agree on is: Mahmoud Khalil is a bit of a douchebag.He let idiotic protests at Columbia University, and is a bit of a rabble rouser.But, isn't being a douchebag protected in our constitution? Freedom of speech is supposed to be near-absolute. No, you can't yell, “Fire,” in a crowded theater, but you can have God-awful opinions on things.Just look at any member of the MAGA cult. That said, if you are a visitor to the country, do you automatically get granted all the rights citizens have?Dicey subject.An immigration judge in Louisiana agrees he Mahmoud can be kicked out of the country.What say you?—Are. You. Kidding. Me?A helicopter fell apart while flying?That's insane.Tragic, given it was a sightseeing helicopter with a family inside.And insane.Crashed?Sure, that happens.But FELL APART?WTF?—Conspiracy theorist, anti-vaxxer, but not a contestant on American Idol RFK Jr. has announced that Health and Human Services will tell us, in September, what causes autism.Given the man seems to love measles, rotten bear meat, and brain worms, I'm not sure the reason he gives will have a foundation of truth, facts, or science. —Gayle King had comedian Matteo Lane on CBS Mornings, and quoted one of his jokes. Naturally, viewers took this in the spirit with which it was intended.OF COURSE I'M KIDDING.People freaked out, and are calling for her head on a pike. The language police came out in full force, still not understanding that their bs helped Trump get elected.Crybaby a-holes.Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions03:30 Morgan Wallen06:27 Pete Hegseth12:16 Tariffs!17:53 Tush Push29:00 Pat McAfee37:06 Cory Booker41:00 Quittin' Time—Technical issues abound… YouTube says that if you tap “horizontal display” on your live cast, you'll be able to broadcast in a way that befits the standard 16:9 ratio.Sadly, YouTube lies.For reasons no one understands, if you tap “horizontal display,” you'll be horizontal… but YouTube will broadcast you sideways.So.Very.Dumb.—Did'ja see the headlines? “MORGAN WALLEN STORMS OFF SNL STAGE!”Or, you know… He hugged the host, and sort of just sauntered off. “Show's over. Time to go home.”People will make a big deal over anything they can these days, because manufactured outrage sells.What a time to be alive.—Speaking of manufactured outrage, the dumbest of the dumb people on the planet got mad at SNL writer Colin Jost for insinuating alcoholic Pete Hegseth was drunk on the job.These, of course, are the exact same people who were extremely forgiving of Hegseth using a non-secure app to share war plans, and having a reporter in on the chat with him and his idiot coworkers.(These dumb people, the outraged, are also fine with people lying under oath. Funny, that.)A side discussion involves the fact Saturday Night Live has always been consistently average. Never great, never awful, just… “there.”—They're here! They're ruining the economy! Something that rhymes here and that's pithy and catchy!(Forgive me, I was trying to do a play on the whole, “We're here, we're queer, get used to it!”)Well, Donald “I bankrupted multiple businesses, and a casino” Trump is doing his best to bankrupt America.Anyone with an IQ above that of a turnip can see it, which is why you see his minions defending the loss of trillions of dollars in the stock market.—Because no one in the NFL seems able to duplicate the “tush push” as well as the Eagles, several teams are trying to have it banned.Because that's easier than drawing up a plan to defend against it, apparently.What a sissy nation we're in… football is supposed to be a combination of rough and tumble manliness, and strategy.And yet, here we are, with the Green Bay Packers (my team!) leading the charge to go crybaby over it.Boo, I say. Boo.Side discussion: a very clever (sarcasm) commenter tries calling us “groomers,” which leads to a discussion on what the term even means anymore.(Also: nathan's son pops in to talk about going swimming.)—What is the difference between slander/libel, and free speech?Pat McAfee might be finding out, soon.Mary Kate Cornett, of Mississippi, is suing McAfee, because he told the story of an internet rumor on air.McAfee never named Mary Kate, but she says the sheer fact he brought up the rumor associated with her was enough.Fascinating stuff… What will the courts say?—Corey Booker breaks records!Good on Booker for standing up for the people of America, and putting to rest a record previously held by Strom “Biggest racist, ever” Thurmond.I'm not sure if it's funny, sad, or both, that the two longest speeches in the Senate were by a-holes trying to keep the country crappy.Strom Thurmond wanted a more racist America, and Ted Cruz didn't want people to get healthcare.Well, Booker is the new winner, and he did it better than either of those other two idiots.—Connivence Store chain Quik Trip is getting into the alcohol game. Specifically, the beer market.Given that Miller seems to have given up the catchphrase, “It's Miller time,” regarding the beer you drink once you're off work, Quik Trip is going sideways with, “Quittin' Time.”You're done with work, so grab a brew to forget about how much you hate your job.Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan at nathantimmel.com

Apologies, but Zoom really screwed up. It recorded 5 seconds of our audio, so we had to yank it from YouTube.This week, we're talking Gene Simmons, Anthony Webster of Gel, Bryan Kohberger, corporations that won't shut up when they should, Justin Eichorn, and Elon Musk.

00:00 Introductions05:16 Save the WNBA12:36 Conservative Beer20:15 Mike Lindell27:43 No Other Land34:48 Sarah Silverman—We talk energy drinks, travel, and Hawaii.Crossing multiple time zones when traveling is a pain in the tuckus, which Jake remembers from his military days.Also: nathan recommends people watch Beverly Hills Cop annually, because it's such a solid movie.—Angel Reese said that if she doesn't get a raise, she's sitting a season out.Last week, we laughed at the idea the league's worst player would make demands like that, this week we discuss the fact that the WNBA is a money-losing venture.Even with all the eyeballs Caitlin Clark brought to the table, the WNBA was in the red to the tune of $40 million in 2024. Jake has ideas involving White Lotus and Only Fans, tune in to hear what they are.—Seth Weather is really insecure, because he has a teeny-tiny weiner. How do I know this? Well, he founded a conservative beer company, and sells “ULTRA RIGHT” beer.(And yes, the all caps is part of the brand.)Now, if there were whispers Weather made the beer as a joke to sell to insecure dudes with small weiners, that would be one thing. But it looks like he's sincere in his belief that the culture war is important, and that living your life is too easy, and beer drinkers should bring politics into their urine-water.Problem is, he may have positioned himself to be slightly too close to the branding of Michelob Ultra, and now Anheuser-Busch is suing him.We're rarely on the side of big corporations here, but here's to hoping AB bankrupts him.—Speaking of crazy, Mike Lindell is in the news. Again.You have to (in some ways) respect a dude who is so crazy, he believes in his cause, despite all evidence to the contrary.Lindell loses case after case in court, and even though it's because he's a madman with zero evidence that anything he's said is even remotely true, he's sticking by the idea the deep state is out to get him.How do such monumentally stupid people become so successful?It's insane.Side discussions involve Elon Musk having gone insane. —There's no such thing as bad press, and Miami Beach mayor Steven Meiner is proving that.A local movie theater in his town began showing the Oscar-winning documentary, “No Other Land,” and instead of letting this happen quietly, Meiner fluffed up the one-inch wonder worm between his legs and said, “Not on my watch!”Naturally, by protesting the film Meiner brought attention to it.Neither Jake nor nathan had heard of the movie, because neither of them watches the Oscars (who does?), but now it's in the zeitgeist.Anyway, why is the mayor of any city getting involved in what films a movie theater shows?Well, tracking back to Seth Weather and his idiot beer: insecurities. The loudest voices are always the dumbest, and Meiner proves that.Sadly.Side discussions involve complete a-hole Mahmoud Khalil, who, though a complete a-hole, should have his right to be a complete a-hole protected in a country that supposedly supports free speech.—Speaking of free speech, Sarah Silverman is going on tour.What happens when that's advertised on social media?Lol, the dumbest of the dumb come out to play.Hear what they have to say about Sarah and her jokes.Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions01:54 Gene Simmons16:05 Stephen Pearcy26:10 Angel Reese 33:01 Elon Musk—Jake has a sty, everyone. His left eye is gross, funny, purple, ugly…So, hopefully you're listening to this on Spotify, not watching us on YouTube.—You wanted the best, you got the best, the bass player from the hottest band in the mid-to-latter-half of the 1970s, Gene Simmons!I kid, I kid.I was a huge KISS fan, back in the day.Saw ‘em… Jesus, probably over a dozen times. One of the biggest moneymakers in music these days is the VIP ticket, where you get a meet & greet with the celebrity before the show.But has anyone thought of a “pay to work for me” before?Not that I know of.But, for $12,000+, you can be a roadie for a day!Sounds…Exciting?A side discussion involves nathan's stint as a substitute teacher in Iowa, and the “training” he received for that gig.—Alas, poor Pearcy, we hardly knew ye.Stephen was the lead singer of Ratt, the one-hit wonder from 1984. Sure, they put out many albums, and even tried a comeback with Way Cool Jr., but nothing ever matched their peak of Round and Round.No one really knows what Pearcy is up to these days, but he is on Twitter, complaining about Green Day being political on stage.Um…Has he never heard Green Day?They've been political since the day they were formed.Not every song, no, but enough so that it shouldn't be a surprise when they take the correct stance on any issue.Either way, Green Day is currently playing stadiums, and Pearcy is… Well, not.So…Take any and all advice with a grain of salt.—Angel Reese is threatening a WNBA strike, and dozens of people are worried. What if a sports league based off one player (Caitlin Clark) decides to take a season off?What will the people who only watch Caitlin do?To quote Colonel Kurtz: the horror…. The Horror…Again, we kid.I'm sure some people would care, but the fact Angel, the most sub-par player in the league, is the one making the threats?Oh, that's just delicious.—This is fascinating…When nathan found this story, it was very clearly listed as an opinion piece.But, in the several days since seeing it, and discussing it on the podcast, it was relabeled. Suddenly, it's a “business” article, even though it's nothing more than some whiner crybabbying about Elon Musk.Journalism!*arm swish*Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions00:56 The Death Penalty15:06 Republican Town Hall Meetings20:54 Tariffs!25:55 TV Recommendations—Jake and nathan have always differed on the death penalty: nathan is for it, Jake is against it. Brad Sigmon became the first person since 2010 to be executed by firing squad.South Carolina did the honors, and Brad himself made the decision to forgo lethal injection, or old sparky (the electric chair) and accept being shot.Sigmon was convicted in 2002 in the beating deaths of his ex-girlfriend's parents, and declined lethal injection because of concerns over its use in the last three executions in South Carolina.How do comedians make this funny?Tune in and see!(Exclamation points!)—Republicans are playing a losing hand, and they know it.Their constituents are angry, and showing up to town hall meetings with legislators in good numbers.So what does Speaker of the House and fake Christian Mike Johnson have to say about it?He's telling elected officials to avoid meetings, because “paid protesters” are showing up to be disruptive.I'd say he knows he's lying, but I can't tell anymore.Someone so willing to sell his soul to the devil is probably so removed from reality, he might actually think that George Soros is hiring old farmers to complain about Elon Musk, DOGE, and the firing of veterans.—Trump announces tariffs, the stock market tanks, so he pauses them.Why are we taking anything he says seriously, again?It's comically sad at this point.Also: Tesla stock is continually dropping.Here's to hoping it hits rock bottom. —nathan is big on Win or Lose, on Disney+, and Jake is watching White Lotus.Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions02:05 IVF and Gender08:13 Livechat Comments11:04 iPhone Bug13:27 Tulsi Gabbard17:32 Dear Abby23:41 Health—Here, we explain that Zoom is most likely at fault for our recent (and perpetual) audio issues.Did we try and fix things by jumping to Google Meet and/or Microsoft Teams? Yes.Yes we did.Google said we can't record conversations, and Teams said, “Here's how you add members…”And then gave the WRONG explanation.So, good job, Google and Microsoft. Ugh.Stuck with Zoom… for now.—Wisconsin Governor Tony Evers took time out of his day to defend an idiotic change to a bill.While it's kind to try and be all inclusive when using gender terms, sometimes it becomes beyond silly.When seeking reproductive help—in vitro fertilization—suggested changes include turning “husband” to “spouse,” “wife” to “person,” “father” to “parent” (or “natural parent”) and “mother” to “inseminated person.”Why?Because apparently liberals have way too much time on their hands.This is red meat for Republicans.Red. Meat.They'll use it to eat Evers alive in the next election.A completely stupid self-inflicted wound by Democrats.Good job, dummies.—We turn to the chat, and in that moment are reminded of the time our podcast blew up.What happened? Anti-circumcision idiots were offended by the fact we mentioned circumcision in passing on the podcast. Man, what fun times, being trolled by morons.Usually the morons that troll us are MAGA cultists.—Someone put a bug into iPhone text-to-speech technology, but, in reality, it was a fix.If you dictated the word, “racist,” to your phone, the transcription would read, “Trump.”And then it would self-correct.Which is hilarious, and accurate. But, Apple is going to remove that feature.Bummer.—Is Tulsi Gabbard the biggest hypocrite on the planet? Yes.Kind of.I mean, it's a title she shares with every Trump sycophant.But, she's firing intelligence officers for sending sexually explicit messages.Hmmm…Who does she work for, again?Who did she endorse?I forget.Mr. Grab them, where?How many times has he been in court for assault?How much does he owe E. Jean Carroll?—If you are dumb, you turn to online advice columnists to solve your extremely dumb problems. Such is the case of one woman, who turned to Dear Abby, and asked her if she should divorce her husband.Why?They haven't had sex in over 10 years, and he's manic and has threatened to kill people.Wow, what a great fella!She should probably stay with him forever!Not.Ugh.Walk, girl.Walk.—Where do we get our medical information?TikTok.Because why wouldn't we?A random video went viral, and started a discussion about body temperature. Because of course it did.Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions00:36 Kim Sae-ron06:38 Gangnam Style singer, PSY13:41 Social Security & COVID19:30 Trump Lies21:26 Hooters28:39 Free Palestine33:34 Pete Buttigieg—Kim was a beautiful South Korean actress who took her own life.Why? Because she had a bit too much to drink one night, got behind the wheel of her car, hit a power station (or something like that), and was arrested for DUI.(Or OWI, whatever it's called where you live.)Long story short: she brought shame upon herself, and had to check out.That boggles my American mind, because here, we put drunks in all sorts of positions of power. Hey, gorgeous South Korean actresses who like to imbibe alcohol: move to the U.S. of A.We won't mind your habits.Side discussion: Hawk Tuah girl, her crypto, and disappearance. —Staying in South Korea, PSY, the singer behind the enormous hit ‘Gangnam Style,' lost weight recently.He posted a picture of his new self on social media, and was praised and embraced for his efforts.Lol, j/k.He got shouted at, shamed, and issued a semi-apology.What is wrong with society (and celebrities) that we shame them for getting healthy, and they feel the need to apologize for not being fat anymore? Happened to Adele, and probably one or two others. Dumbest thing, ever.Side discussion: obesity, and all the ways we've danced around the subject due to political correctness.—Social Security has been saved, everyone! It's solvent again!Why?Covid!So many people passed away that Social Security saved $205 billion!Silver lining to the pandemic!Side discussion: viewer comments.—While campaigning, Donald Trump said things like Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security wouldn't be touched.He also said he never heard of Project 2025.Well, now he's in office, and he's done a 180.Just like anyone and everyone with an IQ higher than that of a turnip knew he would.—Oh no, one of the worst restaurants chains of all time might file for bankruptcy! Where will I see women that rank between 5 - 6 on the hotness scale and food that ranks below Denny's on the flavor scale?Seriously, how did it say in business this long?—Last week, an overly passionate (yet under-educated) commenter started crowing about Palestine. No nuance, just nonsense.So, let's talk about Israel, Palestine, and the Gaza conflict. —Mayor Pete should've been the nominee in 2020, because we wouldn't be in the mess we're in now had he been.Is he gonna run in 2028?He's certainly making overtures. The far left is insane; Obama has called them out in the past, and now Pete Buttigieg is hitting them.This is a good thing.This is a very good thing.Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions00:52 Dajua Blanding06:31 Draft Kings09:54 Tom Brady11:21 Kayla Nicole15:42 Bras17:34 James Carville23:21 Anna Paulina Luna24:57 Drag Queen Story Hour27:52 Shark Attack—Given the state of things since the inauguration, people have been down in the dumps.Well, we're here to change that this week, with stories focused on hilarity. —Morbidly obese rapper Dank Demoss ordered a Lyft. When a normal-size sedan showed up and refused to let her attempt to squeeze in—She weighs almost 500 pounds—she threw a fit, and filed a lawsuit.Then, she went on The Breakfast Club podcast and couldn't fit into their normal-size office chairs. They had to get her a couch.And just like that, she handed Lyft the clip they needed in order to win their case.“Your honor, she is so amazingly fat that she doesn't even fit into a chair. Our driver was protecting the integrity of his shocks, wheels, suspension, frame…”What does she rap about, anyway? Cake? Going off a livestream comment, Jake discusses the meaning behind “Free Palestine.” —A new survey shows that more and more, people look at gambling/sports betting as an investment. Like a 401K.I mean… I knew we lived in a country full of morons, but this is where we're at: putting $50 on the Super Bowl is gonna pay the kid's college tuition, apparently.Speaking of the Super Bowl, Jake lost money on the game; take that, Jake's kids!—Was he the worst sports announcer of the year? Maybe.He was definitely the worst football announcer, because for the love of God, he can't say “pass.”Brady spent too much time in Boston, and now he has enough of that Boston accent to be annoying.How has no one sat him down and taught him how to speak?Jesus.—Travis Kelce played like garbage in the Super Bowl. Is that sexist to say? If the answer is, “No,” then why is it automatically assumed it's sexist for people to have an opinion about his ex?—A livestream comment takes nathan by surprise, and gets both nathan and Jake giggling furiously. —It's conspiracy theory time!James Carville wonders if there's a “plant” in the DNC trying to see what stupid things he can get them to do.I mean, that has to make sense at this point, right? They just lost, big time, and the response is to double down on the stupid shit that lost them the election? Obsessing over non-binary equity instead of the overall economy isn't going to win votes, dummies. —Who is stupider, MAGA politicians, or the MAGA faithful who vote those stupid, stupid, oh-so-stupid people into office.Loyalty > Intelligence, as proven time and time again with these incredibly dumb people. —Once again, a child has been abused by a Drag Que… Oh, wait.It was another Christian leader.It's always a member of the church abusing kids.But sure, focus on the Drag Queens. —The United States tries so hard to have bragging rights when it comes to the dumbest people on the planet, but, man… Canada is giving us a run for our money. A Canadian woman wanted a selfie with a shark……and had her hands bitten off.The stupid is off the charts here. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions01:15 Tariff Followup03:21 Plane Crash Followup06:59 Kanye West13:20 Trevor Noah24:00 Oh, Canada29:30 The Super Bowl—Trump was going to drop tariffs on China, Mexico, and Canada. Everyone (except his lapdog-sycophant Republican legislators) said it was a bad idea; he said, “It's happening…”And the markets reacted by tanking.So, he called everything off, and declared victory.Our president, ladies and gentlemen.—Speaking of our president being super smart: after the tragic helicopter/plane crash in D.C., he said, “It's DEI.”Well, a slew of white pilots later, one safety switch turned off, and a helicopter flying 300 feet above its fly zone…Oops.It's funny, because he created blame, anger, and victimization for no reason.—Everyone's favorite anti-Semite is back in the news!Kanye went on a hate-rant on Twitter, and the world screamed in horror.Come on… we don't expect this from him by now?This isn't news.We hit quite a few live chat comments during this segment.Jake compares Kanye to Mel Gibson and his racist rants using the n-word, and nathan compares Kanye still being able to stream music to notorious perverts who still get played: R. Kelly, and Michael Jackson.People separate the art, from the artist. —Ah, crybabies.Is there anything they won't cry about?Oh, right.No.They're crybabies.Trevor Noah made a joke about illegal immigrants voting for Grammy winners, and referenced the fact cocaine is produced in Columbia. What happened?Ten of the stupidest people on the planet jumped on Twitter to whine.Meanwhile, the actual president of Columbia, Gustavo Petro, said, “Cocaine is no worse than whiskey.”Should it be legalized?Should drugs be legalized?Maybe, as long as they don't do it like Portland, Oregon did.They decriminalized drugs, and gave homeless people more power than taxpayers. Odd choice, and it didn't work out for them at all.—Elon Musk is currently showing the world that he's an even bigger a-hole than you ever thought, which is amazing, considering everyone knew he was a pretty big a-hole to begin with.Well, Ontario Premier Doug Ford decided to act, and is voiding a $68 million contract with Starlink, a Musk owned business.Good on ya, Ford.We also talk about cuts to USAID. —We recorded this before the Philadelphia Eagles DOMINATED the Kansas City Chiefs, but now that it's over?Wooooo!Thank. God.Everyone is so sick of the Chiefs, and man, it's sad that Kelce seems to have lost some of his sense of humor. Patrick Mahomes took a joke question about refs in stride, but Kelce pouted. Fly Eagles Fly.Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to.Tune in and get your giggle on.Find Jake at @jakeveveraFind nathan atnathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 01:03  Plane Crash 03:42 DEI 09:39 Harvey Weinstein  11:03 Chinese Incels 16:01 Dank Demoss 19:15 Anti-Abortion States 21:12 Tariffs —The crash of American Airlines Flight 5342 is a tragedy. There's no other way to describe it.  Families are devastated, and will forever be changed. So, naturally, the media is trying to cash in any way they can. Clickbait headlines are generally awful, but when they're used to take advantage of something this horrific, it makes people want to believe in hell, that the “reporters” might burn their for their sins. Gibson Johns—if that's a real person an not a handle given to an article written by AI—and E! News (which should be in quote, “News”) cashed in my offering a scary headline about a chilling photo by one of the victims of the crash, a teenage boy who will be missed by his parents for the rest of their lives.  It's disgusting, and Jake has special words regarding the “reporters” who seek out families after a tragedy. —Speaking of cashing in on a tragedy, Donald Trump once again showed his complete inability to lead with grace, or compassion, turning an awful situation into an opportunity to rally his political base using anger, an ignorance. Blaming the crash on DEI right out of the gate was a bold move, but red meat the dumbest of the dumb could lap up like the dogs they are. In an interesting twist, however, he threw “dwarfism” into the mix as one of the reasons the plane crash happened.  Interesting. —A couple episodes back, Jake said Harvey got out of jail.  nathan was dumbfounded, “How did I miss that?!?” Turns out, nathan missed nothing! Harvey is still locked up in Rikers Island, just like he deserves to be. —Oh, China… You best America in so many ways—bullet trains, airports, education… and now, INCELS. Yes, while our INCELS go on rampages, and hurt people, yours go look at panda bears. Dammit, China. Stop being better than us. —Dank Demoss is rapper who hates several things: salads, walking, and reality. Dank weighs 489 pounds, and thinks that if she orders a Lyft, she should be able to get into whatever arrives, be it a Honda Civic, or a Mini Cooper.  When her ride arrived, the driver took one look at her and said, “Nope. My shocks and tires can't take that kind of abuse,” and locked her out. Naturally, this caused Dank to have a “come to Jesus” moment, where she turned her life around, began eating right, and exercising. Of COURSE I'm kidding. She's suing Lyft, because personal responsibility doesn't exist. —Is an exodus taking place from states with impossibly restrictive bans on women's health? The Los Angeles times thinks so. Why? Because speculation, that's why. In an article heavy on thoughts and light on facts, it is opined that a less than 1% population departure from states more interested in fairy tales than medicine, means it's got to be because of a political wedge issue. Great job, Los Angeles Times. Way to waste column space.  —Well, things are gonna get interesting.  Despite anyone and everyone with an IQ above that of your average turnip understanding that tariffs make things more expensive for the consumers of the country applying said tariffs, Donald Trump announced 25% additions to Mexican and Canadian goods, and 10% on Chinese imports. What was the immediate reaction? Trillion-dollar hedge funds started taking out massive shorts on the American Economy. In 2008, a few wise men beat the crap out of the banks and made hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars off their stupidity. Now, the American people will lose, and rich look to get richer. Yay. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 01:00 Donald Trump 10:06 Elon Musk 18:36 Afghanistan 25:55 Winter Tips 32:35 Netflix —He's back! Donald Trump is president again, and things are going just swimmingly.  Remember that whole, “I have no idea what Project 2025 is?” Lol, ah, good times. What lies. Well, the Project 2025 is in full effect, with Trump signing a slew of executive orders, all designed to lower the price of eggs. No more DEI, pausing federal hiring, and, in a bold move, raising the price of medication for those in need, and granting pardons to people who assault police officers.  —We turn to the live YouTube comments, and someone asked what we thought of Elon Musk and his very blatant Nazi salute.  Live chat was moving fast, so we handle a lot of comments here.  —Well, once again, we're hanging our allies out to dry. Whenever we enter another country, we tell the citizens, “Hey, help us. We're the good guys. We'll take care of you in the back end.” And then we never, never, do.  We just leave them. How/why anyone trusts us is beyond me. (Jake gets pretty upset by this story.) —How do you survive the bitter winter chill? We have an article full of tips for you.  And no lie, number one is important.  (So stay tuned.) Side note: We do briefly touch up on the TikTok ban, and why it's stuuuuuupid.  —Netflix is raising their prices. Again. Which is why I cancelled them years ago. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 00:18 The NFL 04:25 Ryan Caldwell 10:45 Caitlin Clark 17:19 Carrie Underwood 25:21 Starbucks 29:36 L.A. Landlords —What happened? Seriously, what happened? The Packers were never gonna go far in the playoffs, but the entire NFC North collapsed! The Vikings and Lions both went one-and-done. The Lions were supposed to dominate! Ugh. Side discussion: TikTok is gone! Banned! It's… Oh, wait. By the time we were finished recording, it was back.  Booo. —Eagles Superfan Ryan Caldwell was caught on video being quite naughty. He called a woman in Green Bay Packers garb a no-no word; the one women really (REALLY) dislike. The internet hunted him down, and got him fired… Which is hilarious, not because his own actions came back to bite him in the ass, but because a 50+ year-old white fella was a DEI consultant.  Holy, poop. How funny is that? “Hey, we need someone to help this company with diversity, equity, and inclusion. We need more people of color, more women, more members of the LGBTQ community… Let's hire an old white dude to help!” Just silly. —WNBA phenom Caitlin Clark has a stalker.  Well, she probably has several, but one of them, Texas resident Michael Thomas Lewis, was just arrested for harassing her.  When standing before the judge, he shouted that he was guilty, so the judge entered a plea of “Not guilty” for him. What? Why? He admitted to guilt! Throw him in jail. This stupid legal system of ours… —Shocking update! Carrie Underwood, a country star with many MAGA fans, is going to perform at Trump's inauguration! WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING??? Naturally, liberal crybabies don't like this development, so they jumped online to whine. So dumb.  —Starbucks has issued a new company policy: you have to buy something to sit in their stores and use their internet and/or bathrooms. What? Shocking! The most logical corporate policy is coming back to Starbucks? How dare they be reasonable?? —How do you screw up a story about price gouging? By writing it from a point of view that tries to create sympathy for the ultra-wealthy. Landlords in Los Angeles are hiking rent prices to take advantage of people having lost their homes… But they're renting mega-mansions at higher prices than they used to. Oh, and maybe poor people are getting taken advantage of, too. Maybe. They didn't really look into that. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 01:36 Blake Lively 10:57 Drone vs. Plane Wing 20:22 Alec Baldwin 25:58 Donald Trump —How much is enough? You're a rich movie star, so you need more? Blake Lively says that the slander campaign against her hurt sales of her hair and beverage products. Which, it might have done. Or, people just weren't interested in her hair and beverage products. It's a bit silly, but, so is life. —Because they're kind people, Canada has sent firefighting planes to the U.S. to help scoop and dump water on the flames.  So, naturally, one of them is currently out of commission, because it hit a civilian drone doing lookie-loo nonsense. In the chat, a commenter who worked on these planes gives insight into what happened. —Well, the accidental death Rust lawsuit has ended, and Alec Baldwin is in the clear.  Which means he wants to move on with his life, right? Nope! He's going after the prosecutors, for prosecuting him. It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for him. —Trump wants to rename the Gulf of Mexico, the Gulf of America.  Which is hilarious. Good for him.  The Panama Canal, Greenland, this… The best part of it is: feckless Republicans go along with every one of his dumb ideas, because he's a toddler throwing a tantrum, and they're cowards.  Side note: remember “Freedom Fries?” Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 0:150  Shamsud-Din Jabbar 14:38 DEI in Universities 21:50 Brad Spafford 28:41 Alfred Rava —We begin with apologies.  We know we've mentioned this several times over the past several weeks, but Jake and his family (wife, two kids, two dogs, cat) are moving.  They just got to their new house, which means the first half of craziness has passed, but as we record, they're in the second half of insane. Things are in boxes, the kids are noisy… there's a lot going on. HOPEFULLY, next week, Jake will have all his audio issues taken care of. Cross your fingers, and thanks for your patience. —Is there a bigger douchebag out there right now than Shamsud-Din Jabbar? Sure, historically, there are bigger losers, but at the moment, this guy is the absolute worst. Thrice divorced, failed businesses, and does he look in the mirror and pick the common denominator, him? Nope! He lashes out at the world around him. Ugh. Such an a-hole. Makes me wish I believed in hell, so I could find peace in the knowledge he's down there right now, waiting for Trump and his ilk. We also discuss (and praise) Master Sergeant Matthew Alan Livelsberger, who took himself out in Vegas. He didn't go on a rampage, and target innocent people, he ended his problems the right way, but removing himself from the game. Good on ya, Master Sergeant.  —The University of Iowa is dialing back its DEI courses. That's a win for conservatives, right? Well, not really. A university with 33,000 students is cutting programs that, combined, had less than 60 students.  So… Yeah, that's just a good business move. “Oh, no one is interested in this? Yeah, cut the program.” —Speaking of douchebags… Brad Spafford has a lawyer, and that lawyer is a big one. Brad Spafford seems to have issues.  He has a hobby of making bombs. Lots and lots of them. And I'm not talking about movies that don't make back their budget. The FBI found out about him, arrested him, and a lawyer is arguing for his release into society. Dude is the biggest walking red flag you've ever seen, and a lawyer wants him walking around unfettered.  Yay.  —Speaking of douchebag lawyers, Alfred Rava appears to be an enormous one.  He files lawsuits for incels against businesses that dare to offer a “ladies night,” in order to attract customers. Apparently the weakest, most pathetic man-boys on the planet are threatened by women getting a dollar off the drink you're probably going to buy for them anyway, and think it should be illegal.  Why? Because when women go to a bar, men go to a bar.  They go to a bar and talk to women. But not man-boy incels.  No, they're afraid of women, so instead of allowing normal men to enjoy a night at a bar full of women, they sue.  And Alfred Rava takes the case. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 01:53 Blake Lively 12:40 Donald Trump Trolls Denmark 17:33 Matt Gaetz 23:48 Dumb Voters 32:15 The Death Penalty —Happy New Year! Up front, we berate all the podcasts who are on vacation and running old episodes.  They're all lazy, and not worth listening to.  We also quickly touch upon unsung hero Luigi Mangione, who was arrested in the McDonald's where Amy Vevera worked as a teenager. (For the record, Amy wouldn't have snitched.) —nathan cannot explain why he's so interested in this story, but he is.  Hollywood is an interesting animal, with publicists creating narratives that seemingly have nothing to do with reality. Man-bun douchenozzle Justin Baldoni apparently went after Blake Lively over the summer, and she just hit back, hard. With behind-the-scene texts and messages, it looks like she's going to do to Justin what Dominion did to Fox News. —Come hell or high water, the United States will own Greenland! And the Panama Canal! Not really, but it's funny (sad) that whenever Trump so obviously trolls, the media falls for it. And, not just the media, Denmark has upped defense spending to shore up Greenland. Which, if the U.S. really wanted it, means the invasion would take 5 minutes, instead of 5 seconds.  A side discussion involves nathan's travels to Japan, and Guam, and his visits to businesses of ill repute.  —Talk about luck… The House Ethics Committee released the damning report on Matt Gaetz, and he is offended. Everything we all suspected is apparently true: he drank, did drugs, and slept with teenage girls. (Or, at least one teenage girl.) But, hey: don't compare him to an Uber driver, because that would be unfair to the Uber driver. (They're kind, upstanding citizens. Unlike Gaetz.) Also: why don't Matt Gaetz and Hunter Biden have their own reality TV show? Give ‘em both money and drugs, and let them do what they do. Eff the Kardashians, I'd watch the Gaetz/Biden show all day long. —A couple weeks ago, really dumb Union Steelworkers were upset, because they supported Trump in the election, but then Trump said he wouldn't support a merger that would protect steelworker jobs. Now, NYC Firefighters, who for years have watched Republicans fight healthcare benefits for 9/11 workers, are shocked and upset that Republicans stripped benefits from the latest budget bill. Look, there's nothing wrong with voting Republican, just know exactly whey you're doing it: you don't care about anyone but yourself, and you're rich. That's it. Maybe you hate the LGBTQ community, sure, but if you're middle or working class, and you think voting Republican will help you? Well, it's sad/funny that reality is now biting you in the butt. Also: is college important?  Republicans say, “No!” unless it's their kids going. And foreign workers with good degrees. Then, “Yes.” Hypocrisy? Of course! The foundation of the Republican Party. —Speaking of hypocrisy… Joe Biden removed 37 of the 40 criminals on Death Row (federal prison), because the death penalty is bad. Oh, but he left the 3 fellas on, because what they did was REALLY bad. And by that, I mean, “political reasons.” Because ethics and morals have nothing to do with politics, which is the only reason anything gets done in Washington. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 02:34 Florida 12:29 Elon Musk 23:16 NCAA 33:53 Hawk Tuah —In the intro, we apologize for the audio problems YouTube was having during our livecast. Sadly, there's nothing we can do when YouTube glitches.  We also discuss Jake getting drunk and watching the Detroit Lions pound the crap out of the Chicago Bears. —The number one adult website in the world has put Florida on notice.  As of January 1, 2025, P0r*hub (sorry about that; trying to play it safe for YouTube's horrible algorithm) will no longer be clickable in Florida. Why? Well, adult websites think their idiotic, “Click here if you're over 18” is enough protection to prevent kids from seeing adult content, and Florida thinks you should have to scan a government issued ID in order to access certain websites. Both sides are wrong, and we make fun of the topic as a whole. —Far-too-liberal Huffpost ran an idiotic article saying Elon Musk posted “racist” images of Elizabeth Warren. Did he? Eh. He posted images, sure, but to immediately jump to “racism?” This is why no one takes Huffpost seriously.  Like Fox News is an echo chamber for stupid people, Huffpost is an echo chamber for crybabies.  Anyway, Elizabeth Warren said she had Native American ancestry for years, and Elon simply made fun of her for it. Big whoop. A side discussion involves the DNC, and there propensity to help the candidates they like, vs. the candidates the general public wants to elect. —NCAA president Charlie Baker testified before Congress, and it was a poop-show. He wanted to talk about the twin problems of gambling (as it relates to college sports/athletes), and harassment of female athletes. What did Republicans want to yell about? TRANS ATHLETES! Complete a-hole Josh Hawley made certain of two things: One, he would get his idiotic soundbites on the air. Two, the facts wouldn't get told. Watching a congressional hearing is fascinating, because what happens live vs. what the media shows is two different things. Narratives are spun, and stupid people remain angry over stupid things. —Speaking of stupid people, did Haliey Welch pull a fast one on the dumbest of the dumb? She put out her own cryptocurrency. It shot up in value, and then immediately collapsed. The creators got rich; the general public lost money. Is it a conspiracy? Is it stupid money buying crypto from someone made famous for a quick quote on a viral video? Should federal investigators be involved? All these questions and more, answered. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com #new #trans #politics

00:00 Introductions 00:56 Corporate Comedy 06:24 Young Love 14:01 Nancy Parker 22:04 Hoax 25:33 Jersey Drones 30:02 Alex Jones 34:17 Sophie Rain —nathan had a corporate show the other night. How did it go? Let's listen in… We also discuss the fact Jake is moving. —Right off the bat, we jump into viewer comments. A 19-year-old kid wants to know if he should marry his girlfriend. Do teenage marriages work? Generally, no. But, miracles do happen. —Is Nancy Parker the worst person on the planet? Well, probably not. Sean Hannity, Alex Jones, Tucker Carlson… they all still exist. But, still. Parker is still pretty awful. She turned hero Luigi Mangione in to the police. Why? Who knows? I guess she hates America. And heroes.  —Sometimes, things are too good to be true, and that's the case here. nathan found a hilarious tweet by “YesMadam,” a company that said it laid off a slew of workers… But, sadly, it turned out to be a hoax. —We jump into the comments to discuss the drones over New Jersey, Frank Stallone, and aliens. —Living proof that there is no God, Alex Jones got a win in court this week. While The Onion should get all rights to Infowars, a judge allowed a sham nutrition company paired with Jones to sue and put the bid on hold. Jake explains why, and it makes sense, sadly, but still… —Sophie Rain is a Christian. Which, naturally makes her a hypocrite.  She's an OnlyFans millionaire, but it's OK, because God is very forgiving. So, no matter what your sin is, you'll be forgiven. Or something like that. To be fair, no one should think anything involving consenting adults is a sin.   Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 01:29 United Health CEO 03:33 We Are 100 06:04 Hawk Tuah 17:40 KISS 27:56 Jason Zugai 32:48 Mitch McConnell  33:14 Hunter Biden —Anthony Eugenio joins the idiots. —It was all the rage last week, but we really don't spend a lot of time covering the death of Brian Thompson. We do find it incredibly amusing that Internet Slueths, who ALWAYS find the identity of mysterious (or, more often than not, racist) people (Karens) online, are taking a pass on hunting down the hero who put a CEO in his forever box. —How dumb is Nathan? Very dumb. He had to be reminded that he wrote a book about vigilantes who took out horrible people, and that book literally opens with someone blowing up a group of healthcare executives. Life imitating art… If only I could get a modicum of attention for being ahead of the curve. —Jake is in love with Hailey Welch. nathan is decidedly agnostic, with a slight lean to the negative.  She had a great moment, and good on her for cashing in on it, but why does anyone want to listen to anything she says? And for the love of God, why would anyone by crypto from her? Apparently people lost thousands of dollars, and they couldn't have deserved it more. Gambling on crypto is dumb enough.  Doing so because of an influencer? Beyond dumb. Also: Jake wants you to watch the documentary, “Sour Grapes.” —You wanted the best, you got the best, the hottest band in the world, KISS… …is being sued by a former employee.  Specifically, their wig handler.  David Matthews has worked for KISS since 1992, and according to the lawsuit, put in 12 to 15 hour days. Question: doing what? He was their wig wrangler. That should be 15 minutes of a day, total. Put wig on rockstar, poof it up. Rockstar performs live, takes wig off, hands it to you.  Done. Apparently Matthews was worried about COVID protocols not being followed to the letter.  I'm sure he has a lot of close friends and well-wishers. People that whine incessantly usually do.  —Is Jason Zugai the dumbest person on the planet?  Well… maybe not dumbest, but he's pretty close. He's a the VP of the United Steelworkers union. Because he's dumb, he endorsed Trump.  Now, Trump is opposed to a merger that would help the Steelworkers, and Zugai is upset.   Oooh, you didn't see this coming? The guy who never paid his workers, not having the back of the working man? You have to marvel at the stupidity. —Sometimes, I wish I was a Christian.  Because then I could believe in Hell. And then I'd feel comfort in knowing that Mitch McConnell will burn for all eternity because of his evil ways. Mitchy is upset, because two Democratic Federal Judges announced their retirement, then decided to stay on the bench after Trump won the election. Mitchy thinks they're hypocrites. Mitch McConnell. Mr. “We can't appoint a Supreme Court judge in an election year when Obama is president, but can absolutely appoint one as Trump is leaving office.” —Joe Biden pardoned his son, Hunter. nathan understands why, but thinks it was a dumb, awful move. Jake is more forgiving. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 01:33 Kamala Harris 05:21 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez 11:20 Elon Musk 20:30 Baldvin Oddson 25:53 Rudy Giuliani 28:44 Donald Trump 33:30 Harry & Megan —It's a dead heat! Kamala is ahead! It's tight! All lies.  According to new information, internal polling by the Harris campaign showed them perpetually behind Trump. The whole time. Even when the media was saying she was ahead, they knew they were losing. But, gotta get those donations, so you can't tell the public that. Even better, a list of potential Democratic candidates for 2028 has… *drum roll* Kamala listed first. Oh, DNC… is there any way you won't try shooting yourself in the foot? —AOC removed her pronouns from her Twitter bio. This is a solid move, and me like. The idea that everyone should announce who they are at every moment of every day is just absurd.  Even though Democrats didn't run on a progressive agenda, they were saddled with the blue-haired land whale label by the right, and it stuck. If AOC, a founding member of the Squad can see the light, maybe there's hope for the future. A quick side discussion involves a discussion of Black Lives Matter signs being taken down from storefronts.  —Elon Musk put Ben Stiller on blast! Or, so the headlines say.  In reality, it's just a Tweet. Here, the idiots discuss the level of slurs used in popular culture, as well as the idea “You couldn't make that today!” when it comes to Hollywood movies. A side discussion involves social media censorship, and how to get around the horrible, horrible algorithms TikTok and YouTube use to silence people, and stifle self-expression.  —CEO Baldvin Oddson fired 90% of his staff for missing a meeting! That's what the headline screamed. What's the real story behind the clickbait? They were mostly unpaid interns working for an online instrument store. This ain't Fortune 500 corporate evil, it's nonsense. —Rudy Giuliani is broke. He hitched his wagon to an evil horse, told lies, and got caught. It's a good day when bad things happen to deserving people. —Good news, everyone… Donald Trump is going to let the world know just how bad fentanyl is. How? He's invented the “Just say no” campaign, 40 years after it first appeared, and failed. Trump plans on taking out ads, telling people that fentanyl is a bad drug. Well, good for him. Hopefully his campaign makes the world a better place. —The world's most annoying royal couple, Prince Harry and the Duchess of Sussex, Megan (Meghan?) Markle are back.  After failing with their podcast and… well, pretty much everything else they've done, they're now exec producing a show on Netflix that revolves around everyone's favorite sport: polo. And, even though they once renounced their royal titles, funnily enough, they're still using fancy names in the show credits. How odd. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com #news #comedy #funny

00:00 Introductions 01:35 Unalived by Dog Pills 05:25 Alex Jones 11:18 Election 2024 16:31 Conceptual Art 20:33 Spotify 23:46 Matt Gaetz 27:09 Mike Johnson 28:32 Trans Issues —Have you ever overdosed on a dog medication? Jake has, because he likes to live life to the fullest. Even if it puts him into an almost life-ending coma.  It's also the title of his newest (first) comedy special, and we give it a little promo here. —Alex Jones finally got what he deserved when the Sandy Hook families won a $1.5 billion settlement against him. His assets are being sold off, and in a move inspired by God, The Onion bought Infowars.  But, because the worst of humanity doesn't go gentle into that good night, Alex is suing the Sandy Hook families, and his supplements company is filing to have the sale overturned. Hopefully these lawsuits turn out the way they should, and everyone involved with Alex and his anti-human ways gets an incurable disease and suffer a painful, prolonged demise.  —Kamala lost, but was it a mandate?  As the votes continue to be tallied, it's closer than ever. What looked like a rout is actually, while still a victory, only occurred with a popular vote difference of 2,000,000 people. We're a divided country, and 70+ million are either ill-informed, hateful, or stupid.  I'm not sure that says good things about us. That said, Kamala spent money like an idiot, and made some really dumb, repeat-of-what-Hillary-did-in-2016 mistakes. Dumb.  —An idiot duct tapes a banana to a wall, and someone pays $6.5 million for it. What a time to be alive. —We discussed this last week (or, recently, at least), but Spotify doesn't pay artists anything. Lilly Allen makes more taking pictures of her feet for Only Fans than she does for streaming her songs. We ramble down a tangent of streaming services, musicians, Napster, and Metallica. —Matt Gaetz was up for Attorney General, and then dropped out. Now, he's on Cameo, with George Santos.  Why did Matt drop out? Because he's (most likely) a criminal, and a pervert, and a pedo. A congressional report on his after-hours activities was about to expose what everyone knows, but what the worst of the worst people choose to ignore: that he paid underage girls to sleep with them. That is both (a) illegal, and (b) creepy and wrong. Your Republican Party, ladies and gentlemen.  Tangent: Spotify, Sirius/XM, and Pandora all treat comedians worse than musicians.  Ask me how I know.  —Religious hypocrisy is an interesting thing. Speaker Mike Johnson claims to love Jesus, but supports politicians and policies that are 100% anti-Christian.  We offer a small quiz asking why. —Last week, we stumbled our way through a conversation about transgender kids. Jake had a thought, and a listener countered that thought with an article. So, once again we wander into the never controversial and always fun topic of transgender children. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 00:30 Joe Biden 03:30 Kamala Harris 13:27 Russian TV 15:16 Viewer Comments 17:17 Proud Voter 20:10 Final Election Thoughts 23:40 Alopecia 29:55 Airline Hijinx —Sure, Kamala lost in a blowout. Apparently it would have been worse with Biden. Internal polling showed Trump getting 400 Electoral College votes, had Joe Biden been on the ballot in November. This according to former Obama aide Jon Favreau, on the Pod Saves America podcast. Take that, Walter Mondale! —Kamala Harris had a $1 Billion Dollar War Chest. How did she spend that money? Poorly. She spent a million dollars building a set for the “Call Me Daddy” podcast, followed the Hillary Clinton (losing) method of hitting only major cities, therefore ignoring rural voters… Kamala's campaign threw money around without a care in the world, and it bit her in the butt. It's funny how the instant something ends, the people who were screaming into pillows at night let their voices be heard. Even Nancy Pelosi is now blaming Biden for (a) not retiring like he promised, and (b) handing the keys to Harris without a primary to see if the people were interested in such a move. Long story short, though, Kamala should have gone on Joe Rogan's podcast. Avoiding that was easily the dumbest thing she did throughout the entire campaign. —Vladimir Putin controls all media in Russia, which means this happened not only with permission, but probably orders. While celebrating Trump's victory, news anchors in Russia were surrounded by old images of Melania, nude. Sure, they blurred the naughty bits, but they still made it a point to show how the world's best paid escort obtained her current gig. And that's just funny. Also: the battery on nathan's phone starts to die, so he runs off to grab a charger. —Why didn't Trump want a second debate? Lol, because he was embarrassed. He lost that first debate by a mile. It's funny (sad) that it didn't change any voter minds; an incoherent idiot showed the world he was unfit to lead a trip to the grocery store, much less the free world, and yet the dumbest of the dumb in America voted for him anyway.Also: undecided voters are anything but undecided. —Wearing political attire while voting is illegal. You have to take off your hat, or in this case, shirt. A proud, obese, elderly woman wanted to wear her “I'm with stupid” shirt while voting. When told she couldn't, she took it off and voted in her bra. And that's just funny. Also: Jake discusses jogging in New York City. —Low Democrat turnout, DNC shenanigans, and other thoughts on the 2024 presidential election. Will they get it wrong again in the future?Probably. It's what Democrats do. —A bride who has bizarre thoughts about God says her Alopecia-stricken cousin cannot wear a headscarf, or a wig, at her wedding. Why? Because Alopecia is punishment from God. The real question is: why does the cousin even want to be at the wedding in the first place? The bride is obviously a horrible human being, so blow her off. —Over the past year or two, crazy folk have been deciding that opening a plane's emergency door during flight would be a good idea. Well, on a flight in Panama, this very thing happened… …and passengers beat the unholy crap out of the guy. Which is what should happen EVERY TIME. And then, as Jake and nathan discuss, they should be ejected from the plane, mid-flight. Seriously, the world would be a much better place without these losers breathing our air. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com #news #podcast #comedy #funny #currentaffairs #laugh

00:00 Introductions 01:15 Mike Tyson  08:07 Georgia 09:52 Michigan Muslims 15:13 Viewer Comments 20:24 Feeding the Troll  22:27 Kamala & Trans Issues 25:18 The Onion Buys Infowars  28:38 Viewer Comments 31:51 Chat GPJ —It's our 600th episode, huzzah! —Well, we didn't get the knockout we al wanted, nor did we (apparently) get much of a boxing match.  Jake (or Logan) Paul was kind to Tyson, and didn't clock him.  It really was a lose-lose situation for Paul; either he loses to Tyson, and is a joke, or he beats Tyson up, and is cruel. In the end, it was a dance, with Tyson showing both age, and stamina. But in the end, youthful vigor prevailed. (As did size, and reach.) —Ya gotta be careful when it comes to headlines. This one read, “Georgian's protest election!”  Which I took to mean, Georgia, the Peach state. Nope! The country next to Russia! Oops. Always click the article and get the information; snap judgments are no bueno. —Dearborn, Michigan, has the largest Muslim population in the United States, and they helped swing the mitten state to Trump. They voted overwhelmingly for Trump, and in second place was Jill Stein. Why? Because Biden/Kamala didn't do enough to keep Israel out of Gaza. Well, now those really smart people are waking up to the reality anyone with an IQ higher than that of a potato(e) saw coming miles away: Trump is 100% all in on Israel.  Well done, dummies! Gaza is about to become a parking lot. Enjoy. —We jump into our YouTube Livestream to read viewer comments.  —We have a troll, and we're not sure if he's just having fun leaving stupid comments, or if he's genuinely the dumbest person on the planet. Here, we discuss one of his many dumb posts on our podcast. —A commenter brought up the fact Kamala said something dumb, once.  It's odd that she had to be perfect, while Trump could be garbage.  Such a high standard, to set for one, with the opposite, low expectations for the other. Should trans prisoners be given gender reassignment surgery? Who cares? It's a serious non-issue that helped decide the election. Thanks, dumb people. —Oh what a beautiful morning… Oh what a beautiful day… In a rare moment of good news, Alex Jones, who deservedly lost everything because he's a horrible human being, had to sell Infowars. The purchaser? The Onion. The satirical newspaper plans to use the site to mock all things conspiracy theory, which means all things Alex Jones. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Side note: speaking of bad rubbish, Lauren Boebert took to Congress to talk about UFOs, and aliens building underwater cities in the ocean. Great job, Colorado.  You know how to elect ‘em. —We're back to trans issues for a bit. —There is now an app where you can chat with Jesus.  A ChatGPT powered app simulates the responses Jesus would give if asked a question. Is it hilarious? Evil? Well intentioned? Who knows… Too early to tell, but we can't wait to find out. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

Mistakes were made, and they were all made by Zoom. Zoom: Sometimes We Work!

00:00 Introductions 01:21 Zachary Radcliff 09:21 Tim Ballard 13:49 Mike Jeffries 20:22 Roadhouse 22:00 Grant Beth & Luke Polaske 24:42 Viewer Comments 26:42 Deadly Hammocks 34:25 Lily Allen —Zachary Radcliff is a proud, flag-waving MAGA white boy. He's also been arrested for being waaaaay too into kids. Like, Michael Jackson into kids. Funny, that. (Not funny that anyone is into kids, but the irony of a party that screams about gays/lgbtq/drag queens and the like always having members getting busted for really criminal things is hilarious.) Even better, he's a youth pastor, a graduate of Liberty University (the Jerry Falwell institution that substitutes reality and facts for Jesus), and performed at CPAC, the annual gathering of the worst people on the planet.  Which means he fit right in. —Speaking of hypocrites…  Tim Ballard, founder of Operation Underground Railroad and the lionized (fake) hero of the hit Jim Caviezel movie, “Sound of Freedom,” has six lawsuits against him for human trafficking.  That's right, he wants to protect young girls, but once they hit eighteen, they're fair game for everything! (He's like the anti-Matt Gaetz that way; Matt is disinterested once they turn eighteen.) Again, it's (sad) funny how those that scream “VIRTUE!” are the least virtuous among us. —I don't think we set out to do an episode centered around awful humans, but that's how it turned out. Mike Jeffries is the former CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch, and he has been indicted on 16 federal counts of sex trafficking and international prostitution. But there's a twist! He was trafficking… men! Who saw that coming?  Apparently not those men. —As an aside, we discuss Kelly Lynch, Bill Murray, and her steamy scene with Patrick Swayze in the classic film, Roadhouse. —Grant Beth and Luke Polaske have bad parents. How do I know this? Because they raised garbage kids who act the victim when they're in the wrong. Those two d-bags went to heckle at a Kamala Harris campaign, and are now crying their hurt feelings regarding being thrown out. Losers. —We take a moment to duck into the live chat and respond to a few folk. —Erin Field is a wonderful woman who suffered a tragic accident. We use it as a jumping off point to make fun of big chimney, an evil industry too often ignored. —British pop star Lily Allen is on Only Fans… But her material isn't erotic, or naughty. Well, I take that back. Erotic is in the eyes of the beholder, I suppose. Feet. Lily Allen takes pictures of her feet… and earns more doing that than she does as a—as stated a moment ago—British pop star. Because Spotify doesn't pay. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions & Apologies 01:34 The Secret Service 10:23 MAGA Cochella 11:47 The NFL 18:28 Kristin Cavallari  27:13 Cynthia Erivo 32:04 Vince McMahon —We have offended people, and we are sorry! Every so often, a really smart person pops into the comments and says, “U suk.” When that happens, I make fun of their inability to write above a 2nd grade level, and, well, that's apparently hurtful, and mean. An incredibly intelligent troll of ours pointed out that I don't make fun of people who compliment us. Huh. I wonder why that is. —A few weeks back, the Secret Service was raked over the coals by, well, everyone, because they allowed a shooter to get too close to former president and loser of the 2020 election, Donald Trump.  “How could this happen?!” people cried. Well, as a report discovered, it's shocking it didn't happen sooner.  The Secret Service has been understaffed and under-funded for years. That catches up with ya, and that's what happened here. —Hey, remember in October of 2020, the Trump campaign left supporters stranded in the cold Nebraska autumn?  Well, the dummies who decided to go see him rant in California didn't. That's why they were surprised when the shuttle busses shut down, and they were stuck for hours and hours trying to find a way to their cars. Yet, even though he ran the country into the ground the same way he campaigned—hey, remember when he dismantled the pandemic response team early on, and then we had an actual pandemic? Ah, good times—these morons will still vote for him, because his own actions are never his fault. —TONY ROMO IS A MONSTER! At least, that's the take of one reporter, the exceptionally intelligent Robert Zeglinski, who has probably never watched football in his life. From 1937 to 2020, the team in Washington D.C. was called the Redskins. They changed their name to Commanders in 2022. You know what that means? It means that much like people who might slip up and occasionally say, “Houston Oilers,” “Baltimore Colts,” or “St. Louis Cardinals” (or even “St. Louis Rams!”) someone might say, “Washington Redskins.” Just like Tony Romo accidentally did the other week. Was it a big deal? Nope. Is it worth wasting time crying about? Nope. But that didn't stop super non-fan Robert Zeglinski from throwing a Karen-style fit in a column for an obscure website. Was it for the sake of virtue signaling?  Probably. Losers do everything for the sake of virtue signaling.  —Speaking of football, Jay Cutler's ex, Kristin Cavallari, is a well-known nutcase. But man, her latest idiocy is barely believable. She insists that both Kanye, and Britney, have been cloned.  Wasn't this the premise of “Us,” the horror movie that came out a couple years ago? Either way, her proof? Pictures. See, both Kanye and Britney look different in pictures today, than they did just a few years ago. Well, THAT'S ALL THE EVIDENCE I NEED. —If you aren't aware of the most shocking hateful, hurtful piece of fan art this year (decade? Century?), you should be. A movie version of the musical Wicked is coming out soon, but Hollywood, as they tend to do, changed the poster.  In the original, Broadway promo, the poster showed a witch with her eyes covered.  In the Hollywood update, the witch is shown looking at the camera. So, a fan of the musical did a little photoshop magic, and covered the eyes of the actress on the Hollywood poster.  WHICH IS OUTRAGEOUS.  HOW DARE A FAN TRY AND RECREATE AN ORIGINAL WORK OF ART?! Is there nothing people won't overreact to? The fact this even became an “outrage” moment shows we are utterly out of real problems to solve, because now we're inventing them. —Jake gives a quick rundown of the new doc on Netflix, Mr. McMahon. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 00:39 Elon Musk 05:19 Deadspin 13:47 Mike Lawler 21:18 Bath & Body Works 23:35 Trump Bibles 29:05 Mexico 33:20 Dear Abby —Elon Musk promised free Internet (via his Starlink service) to those affected (afflicted) by the hurricanes, but there's a $400 startup cost in the mix. Should he be raked over the coals for not giving full disclosure, or are people being negative Nancies? (Probably a little of both.) —Deadspin writer Carron Phillips is a passionate fella. So passionate, that if he sees a nine-year-old boy supporting his favorite football team, he goes and writes a hit piece on him. Raul & Shannon Armenta, and their son Holden, were subject to harassment and death threats, all because their son wanted to dress up for a Kansas City Chiefs game. They're suing the publication, and though Deadspin tried to have the case tossed, a judge was having none of it. Hopefully, both Deadspin and Phillips will have to pay their fair share for their actions. —New York Republican Rep. Mike Lawler wore blackface! He's a monster! OK, well… did he wear it as an attack on Black people and or culture, or is he a Michael Jackson super fan, who wanted to dress up as The Gloved One for Halloween? We're not arguing whether or not blackface is right, but there should be some context to it. At least, old instances of it.  I mean, there's a wold of difference between what Mike did, and Democratic Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam's insanely racist yearbook. —I would say that 95% of the time I hear, “We're protesting this product, because of XYZ,” I roll my eyes. Today's crybaby culture is full of overly-sensitive whiners with sand in their va jay jas. But damn, this candle is absurd. How it made it through development, testing, and marketing, all the way to release? So funny.  —Trump Bibles are made in China. I mean, come on. How funny is that? We discuss tariffs, and take a few viewer questions/comments. —A man in Mexico was elected mayor… And was killed within a week. Why would ANYONE want to be a politician in that country? Love and sympathy to the family of Alejandro Arcos. —A 55-year-old man cheats on his wife with an 80-year-old woman. nathan is grossed out, but Jake wants pictures.  What say you, dear listener?   Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 01:00 Morons 10:51 Racism 17:28 Kamala Harris in Trouble 25:26 Taylor Swift 29:52 Tina Peters —Jake and I made it to the wrong side of the Internet! Last week, we made fun of Alex Jones for losing everything. He's been a wart on the butt of society for decades, and it finally caught up with him. So, naturally, Alex Jones fanboys showed up to call me 'n' Jake stupid.  We go through some of the dumbest of the dumb insulting us, and then the conversation devolves into separating the artist from the art: Rosanne, Gary Glitter, Michael Jackson, et. —Idaho Republican Senator Dan Foreman is a douchebag, this much is known. Why? He pulled a big old LOL by telling a Native American woman, “Go back where you came from.” That's the thing with racists: they're so monumentally stupid, they think anything non-white is from “elsewhere.” It's hilarious, in a sad kinda way. —Jonathan C Richardson, also known as Autumn Cordellionè, is a piece of human garbage that shouldn't be breathing oxygen meant for the rest of us right now. But, he (she) is, unfortunately. Jonathan/Autumn did something so horrible, I don't want to repeat it here. Went to prison instead of getting the electric chair, which is what SHOULD have happened, and now wants gender reassignment surgery… …AND A JUDGE SAYS THE STATE IS OBLIGATED TO PROVIDE IT.  The UCLA sued, because they have nothing better do do… What a waste of everyone's time, and money. This all could have been solved with a bottle of sleeping pills.  Kamala Harris needs to hop off the “surgery reassignment for prison inmates” stance and on the “get off this planet” train, stat.  —Taylor Swift endorsed Kamala Harris, and millions of people stopped streaming her music! Two million, to be specific, leaving her with a mere 91 million fans on Spotify. Sad that there are two million people out there so stupid that they have to stop listening to music because an artist isn't as brain dead as they are, but so be it. Taylor will be fine.  —Oh, to be stupid on the level of a QAnon cultist. Tina Peters is going to jail, and the world is a better place for it.  Fox News paid over $700 million dollars because they lied about the election, and yet the dumbest of the dumb still believe election fraud was widespread in 2020. Tina wanted to prove the lie true so badly, she partnered with Mr. Pillow Fella Mike Lindell to subvert the system. Well, justice prevailed, and the grandma is gone. The weird thing is: she's in jail not so much for her crimes, but her absolute inability to join reality, show remorse, and admit she believed a lie. Dumb. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 00:36 Online Crush 01:41 Alex Jones 07:54 Rosanne Barr 15:41 Janet Jackson 28:50 Trump Watches 34:32 RFK Jr. 37:34 Tim Pool —Andy Fisher joins the Idiots this week. —Jake has a fan! And we think it's a man! And that's OK!  (Jake got a nice compliment, which we discuss up front.) —A judge has ordered the auctioning off of all of Alex Jones' possessions. Or, at least, everything relating to Info Wars. Which is glorious. It's lovely when bad things happen to deserving people. Will this end him? No. Sadly, he'll be just fine. He'll start over in a basement, just like us, and people will send him money, because he tells the TRUTH about lizard people and inter dimensional lizard people! —Rosanne, not the one from the cheesy Toto song, is discussed. Sadly, she is legit brain damaged, and shouldn't be paraded around to be laughed at.  She also shouldn't be listened to when it comes to any form of advice, be it political, educational, or how to secure velcro shoes. —She's not as insane as Rosanne, but she's apparently just as dumb… Janet Jackson thought Kamala Harris is white. After saying stupid things to a reporter, her manager issued an apology…  …and then Janet fired him for apologizing! It's hilarious, and bizarre, and a good reason we shouldn't (ever) turn to celebrities for advice.  (Hey, that line sounds familiar. Didn't I just write that?) —Every week, Trump puts out new merch, and we are so, so very jealous. We want to sell complete garbage to morons.  We want Russian oligarchs to pretend to buy our crap so they can really just funnel money to us, that we may spread their message.  (Hey, Russia! Ignore Tim Pool! Bribe us! Our listening ears are on!) Well, now it's Trump watches, and the FAQ section of the product is the best things you'll ever read. —Every week, RFK Jr. proves himself to be a bigger and bigger a-hole.  First he fights to get taken off ballots in swing states; now he's trying to get added to the ballot in New York. He seems hellbent on cheating on his wife, and making Democracy a thing of the past. Maybe Tim Walz's third-cousins twice removed that he's never met don't like him, but RFK's siblings have come out to apologize for their brother.  That's saying something.  —It must be beautiful to lack any semblance of self awareness. Tim Pool, the dimwit who had no clue he was a Russian asset, tried to insult Paramore for being uneducated.  Oh, the irony. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com #alexjones #news #comedy #funny

00:00 Introductions 00:43 Trump Merch 07:36 Exploding Pagers 18:44 Racism in Oklahoma 25:43 Elon Musk 29:55 Meghan Markel —Chris Stiffler joins the Idiots this week. —Trump Merch. nathan admits right up front that he was scared. For a while, Trump was on fire. NFTs, Gold Shoes, Bobbleheads… the merch was hilarious, and original. Then, there was a dip in quality. An ugly t-shirt with what SHOULD be the most iconic picture of all time.  A commemorative coin. *yawn* But then, boom! He's back, baby! Trump is getting into crypto! It's the swindle we all needed—a fallacy being sold by a grifter. God bless America. —Oh man… Israel did the most awesomeness, amazeballs thing of all time: they disrupted a supply chain for Hezbollah, put explosives into pagers, and then got paid by Hezbollah for those pagers… Which were, of course, mini bombs that blew up and killed and injured Hezbollah terrorists. How insane is that? Even Michael Bay couldn't dream that up. (Also: Ukraine gettin frisky in Russia. Good on them for blowing up munitions depots.) —Just how stupid are teenage boys? Ask the kids in Tishomingo, Oklahoma. Those knuckleheads decided to spell out the N-word on their shirts, and then take a photo of it. When has this ever ended well for those involved? Well, it's going to haunt them for quite a while, and deservedly so. —Wealthy investors in Tesla are angry. Angry!  (Exclamation point.) Elon may sell off Tesla stock to cover his Twitter losses, which would devalue said stock. Elon doesn't care, because it's all found money to him, but to actual investors, it means something. —The world's worst princess (Duchess?) is in the news again, because she's (apparently) a meanie. Great? Who cares? Why does she matter in the slightest? Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 01:05 Last Week Recap 03:39 The Debate 21:51 Truth Social  30:06 Bon Jovi Saves Lives —Big John Small from Sunny Radio joins the Idiots to make fun of things. —Last week we talked about (alleged) Russian Agent Tim Pool. This upset a couple Poolies, window-lickers so dumb they can't think for themselves, so they watch a mouth-breather on YouTube and feel better about their lack of length and girth down below.  Bonus: we had a Nazi apologist-apologist comment in support of complete a-hole Tucker Carlson and his interview with an actual Nazi apologist.  Insane to know these people are out there. Maybe they're raising kids, but they are probably voting.  Ugh. —Kamala won.  It's really that simple. Beyond that, discussions are had involving the idea debates should have audiences, was ABC biased, did Kamala actually answer any questions… All the standard stuff you talk about when discussing presidential contenders.  A side discussion involves Britney Spears having gone insane.  —Once again, the Idiots explain to people somehow dumber than them that it doesn't matter what the Truth Social stock price is, because it's all found money to Donald. How do people not understand this? —The news media is just so very, very lazy. Maybe nathan was a little obsessed with this story, especially one line in it, but whatever.  Jon Bon Jovi talked a woman off a ledge, and good for him. But damn, how hard is it to simply report that? Apparently very hard.  Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 00:50 Russia in American Elections 12:05 Football 20:48 Colt & Colin Gray 29:43 Tucker Carlson 34:01 Dear Abby —Comedian Luke Borchard pops by for a visit. —Oh, the hilarity.  Anyone with an IQ above 70 knows that Tim Pool and his ilk are horrible people with horrible takes on (pretty much) every subject, but to have it confirmed that they were unwitting Russian assets? So, so funny. When you can't tell the difference between your incredibly stupid thoughts/ideas, and that of Russian propaganda, you might want to take a long, hard look in the mirror.  None of them will, but they should. Hopefully this gets bigger. Wouldn't it be hilarious to find out that bags of hot garbage like Charlie Kirk and/or Ben Shapiro were duped, too? —The Washington Commanders fired Rael Enteen, their vice president of content.  Why? Because he accidentally told the truth while being set up by an undercover reporter.  Enter thought he was on a date, but it was a sting. The “reporter” (used loosely) got him to say out loud what everyone already knew about the NFL: they're only in it for the money. But, when honesty rears its ugly head, scapegoats must be sacrificed. That's the way of the corporate world. —Colt Gray is a piece of human garbage who (allegedly) shot up a school in Georgia. His dad, Colin, is a piece of human garbage who (allegedly?) bought him the gun. Well, now they're both being charged in the murders, and, fingers crossed, they'll both be found guilty and be in jail forever. If Republicans aren't going to do anything about gun violence—JD vance said it's a “fact of life,” and Trump said people need to “get over it”—then maybe holding parents accountable for the actions of their a-hole kids can help turn the tide. Here's hoping.  (A side discussion involves the infamous 1990s era case where a child burned down a mobile home in a trailer park after supposedly watching Beavis & Butthead.) —Tucker Carlson is obviously a Russian agent, knowingly or unknowingly, but did you also know he's a Nazi apologist? Well, he is, because Tucker had a guest on his podcast who tried to paint Winston Churchill as the villain of World War II, and explained that the holocaust was a humanitarian action taken by the Nazis.  No. Really. A dude went on a podcast and said that, and Tucker nodded along thoughtfully. Because that's what the worst people on the planet do. —What do you do when you're too dumb to make an important decision? You write to an online advice columnist. This one made me think of Jake, so I put on my Sherlock Holmes cap and tried to suss out the state of his marriage. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Hello! 01:16 Chimp Crazy 16:22 Jesse Waters 20:51 Political Endorsements 25:52 NTF Glory 35:29 Afghanistan —The Makers of Tiger King are back, and they've got another lunatic to follow. Maybe these people aren't as captivating as Joe Exotic, but they're ask passionately dumb as he is, and possibly worse. At least the Tigers had room to roam at Exotic's location; the chimpanzee's in episode one of this doc are caged in small rooms.  It's sad, but hopefully you can see past that and enjoy the ride of watching insane people do and say insane things. —Last week, Jake & nathan discussed what a d-bag Jesse Waters (of Fox News) is. This week, though they stand by their truthful statement about Jesse being a complete a-hole, they actually defend him. When insulting Kamala Harris, Jesse said that in a military situation briefing room, Generals would “have their way” with Kamala. Meaning, to anyone with a half a brain cell watching, they'd walk all over her. Everyone should have easily understood that, but the hair on fire, perpetually offended crowd turned it into something sexual, and ugly. God, can't you crybabies just shut up? You made us defend Jesse Waters. Do you know how awful you must be in order for that to happen? —What celebrities are endorsing Trump? What about celebrities for Harris? Here's an idea: who cares? The only thing people should find interesting is the fact that 40 of Trump's 44 cabinet members will not endorse him. That should make an impact on people, and hopefully it does, but the dumbest of the dumb cultists don't care. —NFTs are back, baby! Two weeks ago, it was the Trump $2 bill. Last week, the “FIGHT!” Trump bobblehead. This week, Trump is offering more $99 NFTs for his followers to collect.  But not just hilarious images of him as a hero, no. If you spend enough money, you'll get a swatch from the suit he wore in the famous final Biden debate. How awesome is that? —In the end, what difference did we make? Two months shy of twenty years, $2.313 trillion dollars spent, 20,769 wounded, and 2,459 dead. Those are a few of the tallies regarding the Afghanistan war. And last week, the Taliban—which took power again almost immediately after withdrawal—reinstated the most draconian of their anti-woman laws. Yup. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 00:36 DNC in Chicago 07:42 RFK Jr. 13:10 Disney 17:48 Jesse Kipf 25:38 Elon Musk 32:16 Fox News 35:24 Bobblehead Trump —Jake was in Chicago last week, covering the Democratic National Convention for Sirius/XM radio.  Yes, the Obama's gave speeches, yes, Bill Clinton showed up, yes, there was joy, energy, and love… But none of that matters, because Jake had a hands-down favorite moment, and he shares it with us. —What's it like to be a sellout? To have no soul? To have no integrity, or morals? Well, look no further than RFK Jr. to find out. He's a man so principled, he endorsed Trump, because Trump took his call.  Yes, a man whose last name is legendary betrayed the family he came from, and his siblings let him know they were NOT amused. (We are.) Also: nathan mispronounces “Kamala” several times, because… Well, he was riffing, and forgot how to say it. Oops. Happens.) —The Mouse is evil, we all know that. The question is, HOW evil? Well, pretty freaking evil, it turns out. Do you have Disney+? Well, turns out that you can't sue Disney, because they hid a clause in their terms and agreements that says so. Jeffrey Piccolo lost his wife while dining at Disney Springs. She had a food allergy, and the Disney owned restaurant didn't respect it. So, he wants to sue for $50,000, but Disney says he can't. Wait, hold on… $50,000? Did he hate his wife? I love my wife. I lose her, I'm suing for billions.  $50,000 seems incredibly low for the loss of a loved one. (If she was, in fact, loved.) —This week's guest, Dante Powell, arrives just in time to discuss hero Jesse Kipf. What did Jesse do to earn the title, “hero?” Good question, listener! Jesse faked his own death in order to avoid paying child support. That's right, he didn't do anything violent or horrible when angry with his ex spouse, he just tried to hide.  In today's day and age of “grab a gun and get vengeance” nonsense, Jesse did something honorable.  Well done, Jesse.  (Also: Jake's computer crashes in this segment.) —Oh, Elon… You say you don't need advertisers, you say they can f-off… and then you sue them for leaving.  Except, as CBS News discovered, you're still running ads next to racist, xenophobic, hate tweets. Yeah, the problem to all your advertising issues is in the mirror, fella. Might want to look into that. —Jesse Watters is a perennial challenger to people like Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, and Elon Musk for “biggest douche on the planet,” and man, he's pushing hard for a victory with his latest nonsense. Jesse is bringing back birtherism, everyone! Huzzah! Wake the kids; tell your neighbors! Fox is sending an investigator to Hawaii to get to the BOTTOM of President Obama's birth certificate. Because when you don't have anything of substance to offer, offer rage bait.  —The Trump marketing machine is pure genius. Last week we praised them for selling $2 Trump bills to morons, but man, this tops that by a mile. The Trump “Fight!” bobblehead is now available, and you can buy a 3-pack for only $104.  Flick it with your finger, and it's like he's dodging bullets! Buy now, Christmas is only four months away! Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 01:20 Censorship in Comedy 10:46 Mr. Weeks on Twitter 18:32 Political Fanatics 28:19 The War on Christmas 31:49 The Trump $2 Bill —Aloe Mean is sitting in for Jake this week. Good times. —Reginald D. Hunter told a joke that a couple people thought was “naughty.” (Or, more specifically, anti-Semitic.) Quiz: what happened next? a) Nothing! Adults understand that not every joke is not for every person, and everyone went on with their lives. b) A theater that had booked the comedian cancelled his upcoming show because of the “controversy,” while at the same time releasing a statement that said they believed in an artist's right to free expression If you guessed (b), you're right! Yes, the idea that we need to cater to two crybabies in an audience of a hundred or a thousand is king, because the most sensitive among us should be pandered to. Aloe and nathan discuss the continuation of cancel culture by those in authority. —If you haven't been glancing on Twitter over the past few days (it's August 18th, as I write), you're missing out.  @WonderKing82 is dishing all there is to dish on Barron Trump, and it's delish. Apparently, the son of a narcissistic, bombastic, anti-intellectual hothead and cold, uncaring mother is a bit of a jerk. (And that's putting it mildly.) Gonna be interesting to see where this goes. (Hopefully somewhere. All media is currently ignoring the story. Man, you'd think liberal MSNBC or “fake news” New York Times would be all over it!) A side discussion here involves MAGA diehards: are they crazy, stupid, or both? Also: a side-side discussion involves women's healthcare, and abortion.  Because what else are two men going to have opinions on? —A quick jaunt is taken into the world of political fanatics.  For the longest time, there was a sense of normalcy on the left. Sure, Republicans were cray-cray, because not only were they openly supporting a low-IQ despot, they treated him with the reverence usually reserved for a cult leader. Biden? Eh, he was just a dude doing a job. But now, with Kamala Harris, you're seeing T-shirts and placards and “rah-rah my team!” nonsense. But, Aloe explains it nicely: they're relieved (no more Biden!) and enthused (hopefully no more Trump!) In this spot, we breakdown the short history of the growth in political strife. It began with Newt Gingrich, and got kicked into overdrive by Trump and social media. —Guess who's back? Back again… Nope, it's not Slim Shady, it's the return of idiots being outraged because a moron told them “Merry Christmas” was under attack. It's 2024, and the dumbest of the dumb are still buying into this nonsense, and they're outraged. Oh, to be dumber than a brick. —Donald Trump is amazing. He will put his name on anything, and sell it to those dumb enough to buy it. He's like Krusty The Clown. It's fantastic. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Love Fest 01:10 The Packed Pole Vaulter 04:10 Elon Musk 14:10 Stolen Valor 23:46 Lara Trump 26:07 Olympic Roundup —I tell Jake how much I appreciate him! —We all knew this was gonna happen: the French pole vaulter with a package that shames all men, got an offer to show it off. —The man continually challenging people like Ted Cruz and Donald Trump in the “biggest d-bag on the planet,” Elon Musk, has filed a lawsuit against companies who stopped advertising on Twitter. He seems to have forgotten that he's the one who told them to, “Go f-themselves.” Odd, that they didn't start throwing money at him after that. —JD Vance came out guns-a-lying when it comes to the service record of Minnesota governor (and newly minted vice presidential nominee) Tim Walz.  Yes, the man who spent several months issuing press releases from an air conditioned office is trying to insult a man who spent 24-years in the service. Who will believe him? Only the dumbest of the dumb. —Right in line with Elon Musk not remembering what he told advertisers to do, and JD Vance not understanding the difference between several months in air conditioning and 24 years of service, Lara Trump actually went on television and said she would never take a position she didn't earn. I mean, except for the part where she became the chair of the RNC simply because she screws Donald Trump's son. Her lack of qualifications and experience aside, she earned that position. —A quick few minutes on the Summer Olympics. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 00:39 Olympic Controversy Number One 05:49 Anthony Ammirati 08:42 Imane Khelif 17:23 Kyle Rittenhouse —We say hi to Dan Raney. —Oh, Christians… Is there anything you won't turn into and attack? Your victim mentality is just… Ugh. One week after it was explained that the opening ceremonies had a float representing Dionysus and Greek mythology, the Vatican decided to wrong-mindedly take belated offense to something that shouldn't have offended anyone. Are we a society that just enjoys outrage that much? For the love of God, why?  On the plus side, Paris did have a heavy metal band. Why aren't we talking about that? —French pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati was eliminated from contention because of his package. I know you know what I'm talking about, because it's the most viral clip of the Olympics. More people (hopefully) were talking about this, than were fake-outraged by the not Last Supper nonsense.  Joy and happiness. Joy… and happiness. —Unfortunately, joy and happiness only lasts for so long, and once again ignorance and anger reared its ugly and stupid head when Imane Khelif took out Angela Carini in 46 seconds. (Technically, Carini took herself out; she resigned the bout after realizing she was outmatched.) Side discussions involve transgender rights in—of all places—Iran. Oh, and remember when Mormons decided Black people were OK? Ah, good times. —I called this one as it was happening. Kyle Rittenhouse said he wasn't voting for Trump, and I said, “Oh, this idiot is about to find out that he's not beloved, he's only accepted as a fellow cult member.” Within hours, Kyle changed course and took back his statement, and kissed Trump's ring again. And by ring, I mean a three-letter word for butt. Side discussions involve parenting; is it right or wrong to bring kids into the world today, given all the problems we're facing? Also: why do members of the military, who would be directly affected horrible ideas contained within the confines of Project 2025, support the man who would enact those horrible policies? Because it's not about policy, it's about anger. Which is sad. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

00:00 Introductions 01:32 Biden Drops Out 08:32 Trump's Shooter 16:59 Trump's Ear 19:50 Shiloh Pitt 26:25 WNBA vs. USA 28:49 Rebel Wilson —We say “hi” to Michael Cuske, and have a very brief discussion about the documentary, The Decline of Western Civilization, part 2, The Metal Years, and marvel at the fact Chris Holmes of W.A.S.P is still alive. —Well, when you go on vacation, you miss the big stories. Joe Biden withdrew from the presidential race, leaving America with Kamala Harris. Oddly enough, Kamala has injected enthusiasm into the contest, this despite the fact she was a horrible candidate in 2020, and an unpopular vp for the past four years. (Note: the Idiots admit to being shills for George Soros in this section. The secret is out!) —Updates on the failings of the Secret Service, the excellence of security at a Taylor Swift concert, and all that went wrong that fateful day in Pennsylvania.  —Why are MAGA cultists so insane? Gauze on their ears? Posers.  —Shiloh Pitt (Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie's daughter) is throwing a tantrum, and taking out advertising so the can share her thoughts with the world. Well, her actions, actually. Not her thoughts. She'll tell everyone what she's done, but not why she's doing it. —Oh, the rage of being jilted. The WNBA picked champions to play in the Olympics, but before heading to France, they had to face the players who were being left behind… And the secondary players kicked Olympic butt. Fantastic.  —Rebel Wilson wants attention. So much so, she was willing to go after Sacha Baron Cohen in her autobiography. In a quick case of “turnabout is fair play,” now she's being accused of being a horrible person on set. Oh, justice… I love you so. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

Truncated episode this week, and Jake and nathan discuss a couple documentaries: The Man with 1,000 Kids (on Netflix), and Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets. Enjoy! #podcast #documentary #netflix #duggarfamily #duggars #donate #medicine

This week, Mike Lukas joins the Idiots. 00:00 Introductions 02:18 Donald Trump, Shot —A whole bunch of news stories got tossed aside, because the biggest news event of the year (so far) happened on Saturday, July 13. Former president Donald Trump was at a rally in Pennsylvania, and someone took a shot (or several) at him. Details as of recording are slim, but there are jokes aplenty. Enjoy! Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, Day Peace joins the Idiots. 00:00 Introductions 01:50 Joe Biden 23:55 Hawk Tuah 28:35 Not Deadpool 29:57 Danny Trejo, ATTACKED! 32:04 Shifty Shellshock 33:45 Gays vs. God —Oh, Joe… All you had to do was stick with the, “I was sick” excuse regarding your debate performance, and everything would've been… Well, not fine, but… I mean, somewhat fine? Maybe? But to come out and say you were jet lagged and tired, DAYS AFTER YOUR TRAVEL ENDED… Come on. How many days does it take for you to recuperate from a flight? Fifteen? Twenty? The Idiots ask the Democrats to just be honest with America: Joe gets tired. He's gonna work until 3pm, and then his staffers will take care of the rest. (Which is probably what's been happening the past four years anyway.) Also discussed: the idea of throwing the nomination to another candidate, and whether or not that person should be Kamala Harris. —Hailey Welch is all the rage, and God bless her for doing things right. She's getting interviewed, merchandising, appearing on concert stages… Oh, and she was never a teacher, didn't get fired, and her dad isn't a preacher. The Idiots fell for some online trickery last week, so this time around they own up to their mistake. —The Idiots recently talked about Wade Wilson, a murderer covered in tattoos (including a Swastika on his face, which is never a good idea). Well, a jury found him guilty, and recommended he get the death penalty.  So, good times, happy endings. —Clickbait headlines are the best. You take a nothing story, sensationalize it, and hope people give you those ever-important views.  The one discussed involving Danny Trejo at a parade in Los Angeles absolutely takes the cake. It is the clickbait headline shame all other attempts to draw people in by being misleading. —Speaking of nonsense headlines: did Shifty Shellshock from Crazy Town die of a broken heart, or a drug overdose? There is a 100% chance it was from drugs, but the headline would have you believe it was sadness.  —Cosby “Corey” Cunningham is a douchebag who doesn't have faith in the God he believes in.  How do we know this?  Because he's suing Eaton Corp., his former employer.  What happened was: Eaton Corp. decided to go a little overboard with pride month, offering employees anything and everything they might not have wanted or cared about when it comes to gay pride. So Cunningham, a supposed Christian, decided to wear horrific t-shirts with bible verses that  condemn homosexuality on them. Yup, instead of being a believer, and sitting back and saying, “God will handle this,” he had to expose his insecurities to the world. Because that's what men who aren't very well endowed do: they front.  Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, Chris Cyr joins the Idiots. 00:00 Introductions 00:37 The Debate 10:50 The Squad 21:56 Disney 28:13 Corporate Vigilance 31:38 Online Fraud 32:54 Josh Duggar —Is Rex Huppke the dumbest man on the planet? Maybe. Rex posted an opinion piece on June 25th, several days before the first presidential debate. His take? Trump was going to chicken out, and not attend. Well guess what? That didn't happen. Here's a hot take: instead of posting hot takes, allow events to occur, and then report on them. Isn't that what the news is supposed to be, a summation of daily happenings? From that stepping off point—mocking Rex Huppke—the idiots (and Chris) discuss what happened that fateful night. Biden was old and confused; Trump lied every time he opened his mouth. Which will be more alarming to voters? Lies and incompetence, or a stutter? We'll find out in November. —Oh, Jamaal Bowman, we hardly knew ye.  The Squad, the famous group of insane members of Congress who fight for supposed moral justice more than they do the economic benefit of all, lost the fire alarm pulling, shirt waving, insane Jamaal Bowman.  Voters in New York's 16th District gave George Latimer a shot at the seat, causing AOC to blame $25 million in ad buys, not the fact Bowman probably wasn't the best fit for the job. Because reality should never pierce the veil of delusion, should it? (Hint: it was probably his Anti-Semitism and bizarre stance on Israel that lost him the seat.) —This gets a little messy, but stay with us… Disney fired actress Gina Carano, because she didn't align with them politically. And they said so. Publicly. So now Gina is suing Disney for wrongful termination. Seems pretty cut and dried, right? Well… Since the God-awful Supreme Court of 2010, which in retrospect might have been somehow better than the compete dumpster fire of a SCOTUS we have today, handed down Citizens United, corporations are people. Which means Disney has a right to free speech of its own. But seriously, all they had to do is shut up. Gina Carano is a block of wood. Her acting should have spoken for itself here. —The United States is a sue-happy country. People file lawsuits at the drop of a hat, which is absurd.  So, corporations are fighting back, and one way they're covering their bases is by warning consumers about items not even in their product. Why? Just to be safe. The FDA, for some reason, has an issue with this. Look, government… You can't have it both ways. You don't get to let swindlers sue anyone, at any time, and not give people a way to guard against that. Sara Lee and Entenmann's took a creative approach to warning labels, and the Idiots approve. —Go big or go home? No! Go small and succeed!  The Idiots often talk about the dumbest people on the planet, those who fall for easily verified online scams to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars…  Well, “Paul Schwartz” of Milwaukee, Wisconsin (not really) is making bank $600 at a time. He doesn't string people along, he just takes the cash and runs. Well done, “Paul.” (And everyone out there: verify, verify, verify, before giving anyone online any money.) —Josh Duggar is a horrible human being for many, many reasons. I mean, most of the Duggar family is. (Thanks, Jim Bob and Michelle. You really put some awful out there into the world.) But Josh, he's not just awful, he's a convicted criminal, and not for something small, like petty theft. Not. Josh was into children. In the worst way. Well, when you're a criminal with a healthy ego, everything you do should be a-ok with the world, right? Criminal conviction because you're a pervert? Pfft, that's not fair, I'm Josh Duggar! So he asked the Supreme Court to overturn (or at least examine) his case. Hilarious. Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com

This week, Larry Smith joins the Idiots. 00:00 Introductions 02:25 Life Coaches 13:39 Cults 27:35 Trump vs. Biden 34:02 Gordon Black —The Idiots do a little victim blaming, because my God… Why would you ever hire a “Life Coach” to tell you what to do? A completely untrained, unregulated nitwit with no special skills who gladly takes as much of your money as you're willing to give. Even better, a life coach can be someone who failed out of (or was fired from) another profession: therapy. (Note: therapists are a favorite topic for Jake, so we linger here a wile.) Anyway, Jodi Hildebrandt was an Utah-based therapist who felt to constrained by all the rules and regulations Big Gubment held over her, so she became a life coach. Currently in prison after being convicted of abusing two children, she bilked people like Ethan Prete out of thousands of dollars.  Thing is, if you're dumb enough to listen to an un-credentialed Life Coach, ya kinda deserve to lose your money. Chances are, you weren't going to do anything smart with it anyway. —Without meaning to, the Idiots segue into people so bereft of common sense, they join a cult.  Jake begins by bringing up Dancing for the Devil, the new documentary on Netflix that covers a TikTok trend, and then it moves to David Koresh and the Branch Davidians in Waco, and MAGA Trumpers.  Following that, R. Derek Black is discussed, because of the wonderful prank she played on her racist father. (Spoiler alert, her dad is Don Black, founder of Stormfront, the hate-site visited by intellectually-challenged mouth-breathers, and she was born he, and transitioned.) Side note: Hawk Tuah girl Katie Vickers is discussed in this segment. —Democrats are in the upcoming election to lose it. Instead of hammering home solid talking points, they're spending $50 million on an advertising campaign to tell people Donald J. Trump is a convicted felon. Which, as we all know, is something no one cares about. At all. Sure, they could hammer home his Supreme Court picks, three liars who said they believe in Roe v. Wade, or the border crisis Republicans are fueling, as they didn't vote on the legislation they wrote, but why try that? —Injustice moves fast in Russia.  A few weeks ago, the Idiots discussed Staff Sgt. Gordon Black, a United States solider who was in an… “interesting” (read contentious) relationship with a Russian woman. Black followed her to Russia, where, OF COURSE he was arrested.  Well, he was tried and thrown in jail, because who could have ever seen this happening, except everyone. Hey, here's an idea: don't go to Russia. Anyone. Especially U.S. soldiers.  Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com #hawktuah #news #politics #humor

This week, Stu McCallister joins the idiots. 00:00 Introductions 00:50 Hunter Biden 07:19 Transgender Issues 18:35 The Dumbest People on the Planet  25:52 Elon Musk 31:20 Feeding the Troll —Our favorite former addict who slept with his dead brother's widow—Hunter Biden—was found guilty of lying on a form. Of all the things he's done, this is what the Republicans got him for.  (Which, given it was a gun charge, is ironic.) For funnies, we discuss his infamous laptop photos. If you haven't seen them, you should remedy that. Side note: nathan tells a quick story about a friend of his who actually didn't lie on his medical intake form one day. Where did he tell the truth? Tune in and find out. —The American College of Pediatricians is a neat title, but in fact is basically a group of religious zealots who hate women, and gay people. That didn't stop Fox News from writing a fairly balanced article on the stance the ACP took on trans children. But, since reasonable discourse is frowned upon, they had to write a click-bait headline in order to spread confirmation bias. Yay, lazy public who doesn't read past the headline! Side note: nathan lectures Jake on the wonders of Top Secret, the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker follow up to Airplane! —Look no more, nathan has found the dumbest people on the planet.  We always feel sorry for people who are taken in a scam… Until we read about the scam, and then wonder just how dumb the people were for falling for it. Well, Kelli and Michael Regan, of North Texas, managed to spend $20,000 in order to not get the dog of their dreams. How? By being amazingly dimwitted. —If Hunter Biden is one of our favorite people, it's no secret that Elon Musk is the polar opposite of that title. Instead of running SpaceX and Tesla to new highs, he's running Twitter into the ground. What does Tesla have to say about that? They want to give him $50 billion in order to save the company. Up is down, down is up, and nothing makes sense. —What happens when someone less-than-smart comments on a podcast? They get made fun of on the next episode! Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don't have to. Tune in and get your giggle on. Find Jake at @jakevevera Find nathan at nathantimmel.com