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Did you you know that I am also a coach / consultant? If you want to take yourself to the next level in your health, relationship or business. Click below for a free session. ✅✅✅ Need Coaching or Mentoring? Schedule a free 15-45 minute zoom or phone consultation here.
Are you doing HEALTH wrong? The Founder of Power Yoga, Bryan Kest Interview. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/earthbodymindspirit/message
In this interview with the UEBT communications director Lara Koristky, you will learn how the ingredients in cosmetics, superfoods and supplements can be harvested more sustainably. You will learn the ins and outs of how organizations around the world are working to create regenerative economies to fulfill our needs. And how you can be more of a part of the solution to the global crisis in biodiversity loss. Did you you know that I am also a coach / consultant? Take yourself or your business to the next level of success following ecological principles. We focus on creating ecosystems that support your success. Rather than focus on developing will power alone. Click below for a free session. ✅✅✅ Need Coaching or Mentoring? Schedule a free 15 minute zoom or phone consultation here.
In this video I show you how to Focus specifically for Earth Loving visionaries, artists & scatter brains. 10 Practices I developed over 30 years. Did you you know that I am also a coach / consultant? If you want to take yourself to the next level in your health, relationship or business. Click below for a free session. ✅✅✅ Need Coaching or Mentoring? Schedule a free 15-45 minute zoom or phone consultation here.
In this Interview with Dirk-Jan Oudshoorn, the Founder and CEO of Forestwise, you will learn how we can transform from an extractive rainforest destruction economy to a regenerative and holistic canopy economy. Website. forestwise.earth Did you you know that I am also a coach / consultant? If you want to take Business or your life to the next level. Click below for a free consultation. ✅✅✅ See if My Coaching /Consulting is right for you or your company /Project. Schedule a free 15-45 minute zoom or phone consultation here.
✅✅Here is the LINK to HOMEBIOGAS https://www.homebiogas.com/ref/10/✅✅ Did you you know that I am also a coach / consultant? If you want to take yourself to the next level in your health, relationship or business. Click below for a free session. ✅✅✅ Need Coaching or Mentoring? Schedule a free 15+ minute zoom consultation here.
How I "CONQUERED" My (or any) "Negative" EMOTIONS in 5 SIMPLE Steps. #depression, #negativity, #failure --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thehappyearthling/message
5 Keys to Find The Love of Your Life. A Guide for Kind People. In this Tutorial. I share with you, the lessons I learned over the last 35 years of study, hardship and pain. I hope they help you create the life you have always wanted. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thehappyearthling/message
In this interview with Wild Farm alliance you will learn some tips and techniques to use nature to enhance the life of your garden or farm. Please leave comments and questions on the youtube channel, the regenerative home to get them answered. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thehappyearthling/message
In this interview, we cover the very important topics of Wilding versus re-wilding, the invasive versus native narrative and what we need to do to create resilient ecosystems. Interview with Michael Theile of Apis Arboria. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thehappyearthling/message
To save our forests we need to manage them or they are going to burn to the ground! That was the main thing I learned in this interview. In order to restore our forest we need to selectively log, thin and "prescribed" burn them. No logging is without its challenges. Mendocino and Humboldt Redwood Company are in the top tier of sustainable practices in the world as far as lumber companies go. They are not perfect but are on the right path. In this interview with John Anderson, the Forest Policy Director of Mendocino Redwood company we dive deep into the boots on the ground issues around harvesting wood out of California forests in particular and global forest issues. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thehappyearthling/message
In this video, I share the One of the KEY Principles I have used to create inner peace with Success. These are the principles I have developed over 30 years of research and experience into living a life filled with health, wealth and happiness. It is specifically for Earth lovers, environmentalists, ecologists, eco-activists, ecopreneurs and other earth based do-gooders. The principles I focus on, specifically address the question; How do you get the things you want in life while not being a destructive force but rather being a force that enhance life on all levels; Physical, Mental, emotion, personal, social and ecological. This is the First Video in this series. It goes over the principle of CYCLICAL living, including the concepts of the spiral living, the seasonal living model, the personal energy state model, as well as the integration of multiple personalities model closely related to the Internal Family Systems model. All these principles revolve around the concept of cycling. It is in the embrace of the cycle that we are free in our successes and our failures and have access to the beauty and joy of the moment. Please leave questions and comments in the comment section and i will do my best to integrate them into the next video. Thank you for your attention and caring heart. ✅✅✅ For personal or business coaching, for a limited time and for a few select individuals and organizations, I am offering a free 15 minute zoom consultation. Click here to be considered for an session.
In this video I interview Erin Arnsteen, the Western Program Director from Monarch Joint Ventures. She is a wealth of information on how we can Transform our gardens and Farms into Regenerative Butterfly and Native Pollinator Habitat. Here is a link to the main pamphlet she showed many times on the video. https://xerces.org/sites/default/files/publications/18-014.pdf Here is the link to her organization. https://monarchjointventure.org/ Here is the Link to the main pollinator preservation group in the US. www.xerces.org ✅✅My amazon storefront. These are the products I recommend and the best and most sustainable in each category.
In this episode, Brandon Bredo of Hanzell Organic Vineyards in Sonoma,CA shares his expertise on using animals for regenerative farming and permaculture principles on your homestead and vineyard. This is like the introductory session of a masterclass from the pros including how to start on a 1/2 acre with animals, fire prevention with and without animals, and the importance of community on the journey of self-reliance. You'll learn about regenerative practices for animal agriculture that can help restore health to soils, biodiversity and habitat and help reverse the climate crisis. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thehappyearthling/message
We all get stuck in ideas sometimes. When you take on turning your highest spiritual values into the way you make your living, the best parts of you develop more deeply and powerfully. Your character is molded into someone who is who you wanted to become. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thehappyearthling/message
In this Episode, I interview Damien MaCanany Luce, Lead Designer at Permaculture Aritisans. One of the Oldest and Largest Permaculture Landscape Design Build Companies in the US. We talk Food Forests. Permaculture systems design thinking and how do we integrate individual resilience with macro sustainability. Here is the website for Permaculture Artisans.https://www.permacultureartisans.com/ YouTubeThe Regenerative Homestead https://www.youtube.com/c/TheRegenerativeHomesteadThe Happy Earthling. YouTube Channelhttps://www.youtube.com/c/TheHappyEarthlingEco Construction and ConsultingLush Planet Design Buildhttps://www.lushplanet.net/CA Lic#934358707-922-4790PodcastEarthBody MindSpiriton Applehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/earthbody-mindspirit-with-mike-d-stokes/id1447275402On Spotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/5dVcjbl3TtSxLK6iQ93831Social MediaInstagram @mikedavidstokesTwitter @MikeDavidStokeslinkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/mikeisstoked/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thehappyearthling/message
In this episode I begin the conversation of how we can start to fuse ancient earth based wisdom to Modern Technological Innovation in a way that is Wise.
In this video. I talk about how to create a regenerative economy. My 3 principles using the examples. I talk about how Mother Earth News Blew it. And what they can do to redeem themselves. As well as the amazing opportunities to integrate our economies into thriving ecosystems. Our lack of sustainability is simply a lack of vision.
In this intereview, Olga and Billie Katich share their experience and expertise in strating and growing a mushroom business from scratch and how to begin with mushrooms as home to create food, medicine, soil building, and persticide and chemical remediation.
In this Podcast Episode, I interview Dr. Dean Radin, we talk about how quantum physics relates to psychic phenomena and spirituality. Here are links to his books, and the institutions that he teaches and researches at.Real Magic https://amzn.to/3A2RRSeEntangled Minds https://amzn.to/3nqYEjiSuper Normal https://amzn.to/3FrCS55The Conscious Universe https://amzn.to/3KefHyQThe Institute of Noetic Sciences https://noetic.org/California Institute of Integral Studies https://www.ciis.edu/Show TranscriptDr. Dean Radin People that say, oh, I want to be I want to learn how to be much more intuitive and psychic. And my response is really, you really want to do that.Mike Stokes This is the earth Body, Mind spirit podcast, and I'm your host, Mike Stokes. Today's episode is an interview that I did with Dr. Dean Raiden. Back in 2015, and never published. Dr. Raiden is the chief scientist at the Institute of Noetic Sciences. He's also a teacher at the California Institute of integral studies, and the author of four books on psychic phenomenon, including entangled minds, the conscious universe supernormal, and most recently, real magic. But we cover a number of topics, including the relationship between quantum physics and psychic phenomenon, the experience of the actual nature of understanding and learning about psychic phenomenon, the dangers of psychic power, and his very interesting story of how it came to all of this, I will leave links in the show notes below to all of his books. And I would highly recommend that if you're interested in any of these topics that you check out the one that most calls to you. And without further ado, my interview with Dr. Dean Raiden, if you wouldn't mind, just telling me a little bit about how you came into this field of work. And what sparked your desire to study the powers of the mind and how they connect with the larger cosmos.Dr. Dean Radin If I were 20 or 30 years younger, I would probably say something like, it's because I read Harry Potter and want to know who was real. So the the equivalent books when I was a child were more like fairy tales and parables and science fiction, a lot of science fiction, right? So you don't need to read much of that, to start wondering whether the stories are is a pure fantasy, or is fantasy based on something and the more I read about mythology, the more I realized that some mythology is essentially metaphor, it's pointing at something, it's not the thing itself. But because the thing that has been pointed to repeatedly suggests that we have more potential in our minds, then we think we do that I got curious about it. And I think I went to the librarian one day and asked if there were any studies about psychic phenomena. And so the book that I got was calledMike Stokes and how old you when when this when you were to the library Dr. Dean Radin 10 or 12, or something like that. The book was I'm trying to remember exactly the title was something like ESP a scientific evaluation. And it was written by a guy named Hansel Mark Hansel, who, unbeknownst to me, was a major skeptic of the day. But in his book, he described experiments that hadn't been done and his reaction to it and so on. And while I understood the the skeptical responses, it also occurred to me that he was trying really hard to make it go away. And so I became more interested in what what do the what are the people who have actually done the experiments, say, so then I discovered the whole library section on Paris psychology, which I didn't even know there was such a thing. And so I read all of that. And I became intrigued with the idea that science is as a tool could be used to study anything. And so here was a small band of scientists over a century who had been doing that. And discovered that using basically the same methods as used in other areas of psychology, primarily, that some people do have telepathy.
In this episode, I talk about how I deal with my own confusion, stagnation and mild depression when I set new big goals. Whenever you set a big goal, you send your subconscious self into chaos as it tries to align your outside life with your new inside life. It is necessarily a bumpy road. I hope this conversation helps you. It helped me just creating it. Below is the beginning of the transcription.The key to making change is to feel more is to allow yourself to feel ugly feelings while you're moving in the direction of your goal. Hey everyone, Mike Stokes here. Today I'd like to talk about confusion, mild depression, and making goals and how they're all related. And it's time after the holidays. And before during the holidays before the new year. It's really the time when we all go inside, and try to figure out what is next for us. And the problem is, is that we go inside and try to figure out what's next for us at the same time, that we're dealing with old relationships with our family, and with yourself, with our loved ones, with our spouse. And it's a, it's really difficult for most of us. I feel like what I can best do. So this video is for anyone who is feeling at the moment of watching this little confused about your future. Maybe a little sad and depressed, depressed, maybe lacking energy, and really wanting to make a change. So I think teachers who claim to have gotten somewhere, and sort of teach from that place, don't really aren't really being honest. You know, I mean, I went to so many workshops, and I've read so many books, and I myself was trying to figure out how to be a teacher where I could, you know, tell all of you about all of my great things, and how you would then want to listen to what I had to say, because somehow, my solving these problems would rub off on you. Now, there's a little bit of truth to that, you know, I don't want to follow somebody who's just life is a mess, and they're always complaining. But there's also a little bit of falseness in that too. Because if I'm just looking at you, let's say you're my teacher, and I'm looking at everything that's great about you, like, Oh, you've got a nice house, you got a wonderful relationship, you've, you're making plenty of money, you're going on vacations, you have a meaningful career, and you're making the planet a better place. You're helping others. You have lots of adventure, yet you're grounded. You can talk about the highest of high philosophies, but yet you're silly still in the earth and creating good things. So what I've done is I've just projected in my mind, my image of myself, in my perfect life, on to you. And the problem with that is, is that when we try to follow somebody else's path, we inevitably fall short. Because something that worked for them doesn't work for us. So right now, I've been struggling with how to teach. And so here's how teaching how goals and confusion, depression, lack of energy, how they all sort of meet. On the winter solstice, I set an intention of getting past all the blocks that I had to be the teacher that I've always dreamed of. Now, if you've ever done something like that, where you said, Okay, I'm going to be the fittest person that I've ever been, and I'm going to map as my dreams. You know, that's totally possible. The problem is, is that normally what happens is that we rub up against all of the things that stop us from doing that. So that's where I'm at. I'm rub bumped up against everything that's stopping me from being the teacher that I've always wanted to be from being the thought leader that I've always wanted to be that I know I can be. But I have a block, right? Like we all we would all be these great prolific, amazing entrepreneurs and artists and craftsmen and adventurers, except we hit these blocks. So the problem is, is that when we hit a block, it's invisible to us. So my block is mostly invisible to me,
Hello everyone, Mike Stokes wildlife education. Today I'd like to talk about how to think, like, an ecosystem where to begin. So for years, or for most of human history. Humans have been subject to the ecosystem for their survival. And, obviously, that seems like it's not the case in our modern era, it seems like we can technologically design our way out of the ecosystem that supports us. While I believe that that is in theory possible. I think that what is vastly underestimated and most ecologists and scientists would agree, is that the ecological functions, served by a functioning, and not just functioning but thriving ecosystem are incredibly difficult to replicate and take an incredibly long time period. So, what does it take to think like so. So I guess the first and important point is to. If you're not already convinced that the ecosystem is important. I am not going to try to convince you, and if you're not already convinced that we need to preserve biodiversity, and we need to stabilize and slow down the human induced changes to our ecosystems and our environment. Well this isn't a talk for you, you need to be listening to whatever you need to listen to. But if you do believe that if you do believe that the ecosystem that we see around the planet are critical to preserve, not only for our basic air temperature zones crop growing. But for medicines and other services which I'm not going to go into too much detail here. This is just a surface level conversation about this stuff. If you believe that to be important. Then you need to. I was thinking about a better way of recording so sorry about the brain stop there. If you're believe that you need to start being like an ecosystem. So that is the big crux of the matter, because the beauty of being human is that we can separate ourselves from everything in our mind and have a creative visualization of what we are and what society can be. According to our own creative ideas. Everyone's creative, we just use our creativity in different ways and sometimes we let our creativity be bound by cultural norms. But the act of being human is the act of creating your own identity, and your cultural meaning, and what it is to be alive on earth you can't really be alive in a human form without creating a belief structure, which is adding meaning to everything around you. Even if you're saying it's all meaningless. and there's no God and there's no importance to anything and we're all just going to die and it's the black emptiness of space, even if you believe that you've added some meaning to that some significance to that some idea that that should motivate you in particular things that you do and don't do. So what I'm suggesting is that truly the only way that we are going to save our home, which. All you got to do is open your eyes and start looking at the numbers. The, the diversity decline the wildlife decline, the pollution increase, although there are regional stories where pollution increases going down the, the massive decline is still happening, and the, the cultural conversation has started to shift around the climate. But what I'm suggesting is that that's insufficient. We can't just shift our conversation around the climate or we're just going to create a future problem that we can't foresee instead what we need to do is become the change, like Gandhi says, so what how do you become the change, you become start to adopt and start to surround yourself and start to write and teach and research about the interdependence of all living things, so an ecosystem is interdependent by nature that's what it is, is dependent upon its bio region. Its climactic base and then its relationships between species, and individuals. So you are the same as that, you know, there's a great. There's a lot of examples of ecosystems of social nature that have created great minds that we respect. So for example, in my world of outdoor living there's Yvon Chouinard, and I apologize but the founders name escapes me at the moment but the founder of North Face, those two pioneers were friends. There's the group of Henry David Thoreau Ralph Waldo Emerson, Margaret Fuller, and several others whose name escapes me at the moment, who ran together and interacted with one another, and they created a social ecosystem, which transformed the way much of us think. So what I'm saying is, is that you're both a social ecosystem, and a physical ecosystem with the world around you. The concrete around you affects you, the one plant in your living room affects you, or the deep forest that you live in affects you, that the big idea here is that the whole landscape is you, so you are not separate from the city, even if you live in the country. And you're not separate from the country even if you live in the city. You're not separate from any of the places on earth. At this point, you know, there was a time in our past when our impact was so small that you could believe that you were just one small part of the planet. But that's no longer even remotely possible to believe. So, we all know this intellectually but what I'm saying something a little different. What I'm saying is, is that you have to practice being in the ecosystem in your mind so you practice, seeing the trees, and even the concrete and your apartment, as parts of you when you see them as parts of you, then your relationship to them change. And if you see them not only as parts of you, but as family members, and as brothers and sisters. And, which you are completely interdependent with. Then what's going to begin as a conversation which we can truly save the planet from our from us, and not save the planet obviously you don't save the planet. But you could keep it in a habitable. And not just habitable but a thriving zone. If you start to create cultural norms that are inherent in this idea of thinking like an ecosystem. So, for example, how can I tell a story around this. I don't know how to tell a story about that yet but instead what I'm going to do is tell you what happened to me when I started thinking in terms of 1000 years out. So if you're thinking in terms of 1000 years out several things happen. One is, is that your ego, isn't there, you're not going to be there in 1000 years so you can't be just doing things for you. If you're trying to create something that has 1000 year impact, things of 1000 year impact are bigger than little political squabbles of the day, they are what needs to be the conversations that we're having on a global scale, because that's who we need to be come now that we live in an era where humans have so much physical power over the world. So what happened to me was the minute I started thinking about 1000 years out my relationship to everything around me changed. I have a recently acquired a 40 acre parcel in which I'm working to make more regenerative, and self sufficient. And when I started thinking in terms of 1000 year timelines, little things that I would do that would be wasteful. That wouldn't be beneficial for the redwood trees that are going to be there, 1000 years started to fade into the back of my mind, and the things that started to come to the front of my mind were, what is it going to look like with that redwood tree being another 200 feet tall and thicker and casting more shade and how can I embrace that new landscape and try to enhance it. Now also, I also have to keep in mind that, given where I live, that in 1000 years, the climate may change so much that that Redwood may never be able to survive here anymore. So, I probably need to think about planting some trees that are more tolerant of different climates and see if they can thrive. So, the point is, is that if you start to think on a different timeline, or in the vitality of your region so let's say you just start thinking about the vitality of the ecosystem of your microbiome. So that's a wonderful way to begin ecosystem thinking if you remove the, the environment that your microbiome needs in your gut to survive, you will become sick and die. You truly are an ecosystem on internal and external levels, we just don't think that way because we'd like to live in this delusion that we are all powerful individuals and grow in control of our destiny. So, you have to come to peace with that yes you are an all powerful creative being who can find creative solutions, but you are limited and bound by a physical relationship that is primarily ecosystem based. So we all need to be mindful of our ecosystems. So when I started to think this way and I'm still learning myself because it's so new, and there's no support for it, that I've been able to find yet. I mean there is some, I just need to probably look a little harder. And I would suggest that you do the same thing and if you have any resources of people who are beginning to think this way, as an ecosystem let me know please, I want to interact with them and talk to them. I know the permaculture movement is a lot of this. So, that's one resource, but I'm saying something a little bit different. I'm saying that, not just focusing on the gardens and the food and everything I'm talking about the entire thing being an ecosystem. And I know some farm cultures will say yes permaculture is about everything but that's fine. Most of the books, and the literature about permaculture at this point are about agriculture. Permanent agriculture is really what it's about. That's what the name implies, okay I'm digressing. So, when I started to think about the ecosystem. And let me say it a different way. When I remember to think of myself as an ecosystem. Everything works better. And my life has a more beneficial impact on that which surrounds me, and that which is inside of me, and that in turn feeds me. That's the key. The key is is when you start nurturing your ecosystem inside and out, socially, physically, economically, and otherwise when you start seeing the outside as the inside and the inside as the outside, while at the same time acknowledging that there are unique creative differences between each individual and each species, but that we are fundamentally intertwined and interlinked. Then, everything gets better. Literally, health, wealth, happiness, now wealth when I say wealth, I don't mean the narrow Western definition of wealth wealth really has to be redefined as something that has us to have enables us to have more opportunities, while enhancing the overall life of the whole because wealth, the way we think about it in Western cultures, at least, or in modern cultures, for lack of a better term, is the individual terms wealth is not individual. I'm sorry to say, you know, sure capitalism is important in its realm of harnessing the creative power of the individual, but wealth is collected, if the collective falls apart the wealth of the individual will insulate you for a while. But ultimately, you will be destroyed. If the wealth of the collective doesn't come together, all you got to do is look at the countries in the world. You know the. I live in the United States, so that I live in a more privileged economic wealthy country. If I lived in Bangladesh, or if I lived in Somalia. The whole of that artificial country border and cultural outline would totally change and limit my possibilities in my wealth. So the whole is really where the wealth is. And I think that's why we fight so much politically in America it's it's a fight. People want to be wealthy. That's pretty much the bottom line. People want to be wealthy, and they see these different ideas and ideas of sharing as a threat to their individual wealth. And, you know, it's really true. you could probably go through your individual life and have what would be considered a very wealthy individual existence. And then you know die a wealthy person, but most likely you're not going to die a happy person unless you're contributing. Now you can contribute in a small scale in a small way in your small identified group. And that will make you feel good, because that's the way we're designed, we're designed to be tribal creatures from way back, because we didn't have to think about billions of other people's thought forms and identities. Back then, all we had to do was survive in our small little band. So, your body is designed to give you rewards, when you help your small band thrive. So somehow we have to create a cultural identity, in which we go against our own innate biology. For small band thinking and train our minds to identify with the global collective with the global ecosystem, and then transform that connection into our personal life. And that personal life, is what I'm trying to say is an illusion. In its independence. It is not independent. It is completely dependent upon the external world, even if you're a prepper. And you're living outside the norm, you're still totally dependent upon this world, whether it's for your mason jars, your solar panels, your inverter, or for rootstock for your fruit trees, or for the air that you breathe and the water that you drink or the purifier that you use to take the toxins out of your polluted drinking water. You're completely dependent upon the outside world. Personally, I don't want to live in a world in which technology replaces nature. I would like to live in a world in which nature and technology complement one another. I'm a big fan of sci fi, and whenever they create a utopian society, in a sci fi movie it's inevitably one that is a small cityscape or a small human enclave surrounded by greenery and water and waterfalls and those are thriving functioning ecosystems. So that's pretty much what most all of us want. We just think that there's this false choice between that and a happy thriving life. You know there may need to be some of us who are standout heroes, there does there needs to be some of us who are standout heroes who sacrifice immensely. In order to turn this boat around there needs to be tons of us. I'm not claiming to be one of those I'm just trying to do my little part. But I guess what I'm saying is I don't want to turn you off of the path because it doesn't have to look like sacrifice. It'll probably be the most rewarding thing that you ever do, the more vile life enhancing thing that you ever do to begin to think like an ecosystem, but there is an adjustment period, and we need to build a tribe of people who are completely aligned with that idea. And I know that that tribe already exists out there but we need to keep connecting more because a lot of us just live in isolation. And don't really have strong connections to the others that are trying to work towards this. Okay, that's how I feel like we can save the habitable zone and actually potentially thrive as a species on Earth. In the long term. Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Hello everybody, Mike Stokes live. Today I'd like to talk about balance and health and success. And I've been struggling a bit lately, on the topics that I record about. And the reason that I've been struggling, is because I've been dealing with a health issue. I have an undiagnosed heart condition, which is painful and difficult to sleep. And I've always prided myself as being very health conscious and intelligent and able to discern good information from bad, and to effectively make good decisions and control my emotional reactionary decisions. And whenever I'm not feeling well. Physically, I question my ability to know anything that's useful for other people. Period. And I'm, I'm in the sauna right now because that's where I do my best clearest thinking outside of my ego. And right now it's 157 degrees I was sitting up on the bench but now I'm actually sitting on the floor, because it's hotter than I think I've ever done. And I took an extra niacin to flush out my system. I took 1000 milligrams which is really high. And some nitric oxide booster, which will flush and open your system and I'm drinking MSM which will also flush and open your system so. So my system is pretty raw and open at the moment. And what I've noticed is, is that over the years as I've done this practice. Is that clear thinking doesn't really occur until. Well I'm about 48 minutes in right now, till about 45 minutes. Actually I don't think I'm 48 minutes I think more like 30 minutes in, but it was so hot that it's, I feel like I've cleared something out. So bear with me I hope that that setup wasn't too long I didn't lose too many of you. But what I think is important for those of us on the path of, you know, the highest human potential personal success combined with making the world a better place, which is really what all of my stuff is about. I think that we all must struggle from time to time with times when we feel like we're not capable of doing great things or of helping other people, because we ourselves feel weak or injured or out of sorts. So, are you guys gonna hang out on the deck. It's kind of hard I can't focus if you are. So I don't know if I should leave that in but that was my wife and daughter. And they were on the deck I could hear their voices in the background. And so, myself and many people are easily distracted by outside circumstances. And so what I've learned is that for me to do my best work I really need quiet. There's a wonderful book called Deep work, which talks about how much more effective you can be when you shut off the world and focus on your work at hand. And there's another one I forgot to turn off the notification button. So, now I'm turning off the notification button. So, I guess I'm just gonna leave all that in because I think it's a real time example of how we deal with distractions. You know I love my family I want them to be near me but it's just not productive at some times. So there's a time and place for everything. So the, the core of what had me start this conversation is this idea that came to me around commitment, and which I was thinking of the things that I'm truly committed to such as my relationship, and my self sufficient homestead property. And those are really the two things that I'm committed to everything else is a bit fluctuating, and there's a power and commitment, and that power is that, you know, when we don't have commitment, our mind will take us away from things. And this is, there's a lot of scientific evidence behind that all you got to do is a search for options. The Psychology of options and how you have more options, and when you have more options you're less satisfied in life. So in a way, it's it's critical that you find things to commit to. But then comes sort of the crux of what I want to talk about. So you can commit to being a member of ISIS, which obviously I don't recommend. But that commitment, here's the rub that commitment is going to give you an energy, and a power and a focus that you wouldn't have otherwise. So the challenge for those of us on the path of truth and enlightenment and doing what's right for the world, and other species, and the ecosystem as a whole, the planetary biome as a whole. For us, it's important to find a commitment that leaves open the possibilities for open mindedness. And there's no hard and fast rules I wish I could give you a hard and fast rule, there's just an evolution. I think the more that you commit to things and work inside of them and see the benefits and the drawbacks, the better. And inside of that commitment. So this is the weird part so the other part about this, this conversation which is going to be difficult for me to describe, and to accept. And for some people to get is that there's always a dark side, there's always a dark side to everything you're doing you know if you commit 100% to the saving the ecosystem of the biome of planet Earth. There is going to be unintended consequences of that inside of your life. And inside of your ecosystem inside of your family. There's just all kinds of unintended consequences around that. I recently watched that movie with George Clooney, where we destroy the environment and his. Spoiler alert. No, I won't, I won't spoil it. Anyways, he was working so much that he lost track with his family, that's a bit of a spoiler, I guess, spoiler alert, there's a little bit of splintering in there. So, you know family's important none of us are gonna say that family's not important, but at the same time. What you're doing is important too, so you have to make a choice. And I guess that's sort of an underlying idea here is, you know, this talk is not for people who've already chosen their. I'm going to say dogmatic dogmatic worldview because you don't get to be open minded and dogmatic at the same time, a lot of people who are dogmatic believe that they're open minded but that's just a false. It's a false belief, and the dogmatism goes from both sides, it goes on the, the progressive side it goes on the conservative side. It goes on every side you know I don't want to say like there's two sides there's not two sides but the way the world has been us versus them for so many aeons. It seems that the easiest place for us to go is to take sides. So back to the main point the main point is that you have to find a balance, and how to find that balance I guess I'm going to try to find some ways. Right now, that will help you find that balance, the balance between committing and keeping an open mind. So, the first thing that comes to mind is practice. So if you commit to a daily practice of mindfulness of breathing of meditation of health, if you commit to a regimen that is evidence based. Then you're going to be open to manipulating your practice as evidence change. So that's a great question. that's a great idea there. I've written in some other material and recordings about feedback. So, you want to be tuned into the feedback loop you want to structure your commitments such that the feedback loop will allow them to change. So for example in the morning I have now I have a morning practice, which most of my life I've struggled with instituting morning practice I've been on for years and then off for years and now I'm on. And my morning practice is very simple I basically just sit down and allow myself to do what what I'm called to do and currently what I'm doing is I'm doing some pranayama box breathing, and I'm also doing some diving breath holds, and I'm also doing some yoga practices that when I was a teacher I learned many years ago. And, but none of that is mandatory it's all sort of not sort of but it's all just my commitment to myself, is to sit down, or to stand up and do a practice in the morning. I've also committed to not to being a non drinker. That was a huge one for me I drank alcohol for since I was 15 years old. Is that right, 15. My first drink was at 1315, was when I really started drinking. And then I quit a couple of times. I actually quit for two years once and for three years once, but I never actually addressed the identity around quitting. And so now I have and I have created a new identity. So this is gonna be a really packed conversation so try to follow along. Well I don't know maybe you're having an easy time follow along. I'm going to move a little bit into other realms than the one that's the stated above so I apologize if this is going off of what you wanted to hear. But I'm trying to stay true to the thread of information that I'm receiving, which if I break it, it won't work. That's just my methodology of bringing the stuff up that I know really works. So along that line of going in a different direction. You need to know what works for you and you've got to tailor your practices and your work around things that work rather than trying to fix what doesn't work. I've said that many, many other times, but it bears repeating right there. The. The next thing I was going to say which I started to say before is that feedback, reading the feedback is really the best way to design a practice and to design the life. So currently, I'm my latest mind expanding work that I'm doing is reading and doing the exercises in designing your life by a couple of Stanford professors. You can look it up so really first chapter is kind of slow but the material is really good and powerful. So, in that pursuit. I've been designing practices, and work, and other basically practices and work activities. And the thing that's critical. When you're doing design work. And when you're trying to optimize yourself in your effectiveness and your health and your vitality and your happiness is to have good feedback loops. So for me, I started wearing a whoop. Over a year, I don't know it's been 14 months now, I think. And that feedback loop of what is happening with my overall wellness and fitness has totally transformed the way that I relate to my body, and to my mind. So that's a form of feedback. You don't need to use that I mean you can you can track how well your stools are. I actually am a strong proponent of that. If your stools smell like compost and are coming out, easy and regularly. And you know bananas shape and size, while you're doing good. If they're not, well then you need to change something up. So currently, I'm experimenting with dietary changes supplement changes. Routine changes. And the thing that I'm trying to say it's a difficult thing to say for me right now. Maybe I'll get better at it in the future, is that inside of the commitment. You need to make a commitment so I made a commitment to the daily practice. So there's a daily practice that I'm doing. And then I'm reading the feedback. I'm likely going to get a muse, and start checking my meditative state in my brain, Muse is a headband which you wear that reads whether you've gone into meditative brainwaves or not. So, so the the idea that I'm trying to get across here rather clumsily I might add, is that you need to commit to things that are, that have variability built into them. But won't have you jettison that commitment. So long, long term relationship is a, is a great example. So I'm committed to my partnership. And when things don't work. I look for solutions. And, you know, I, that wasn't always the case when things weren't working sometimes I would exit in my mind. And I don't do that anymore. And when you do that that's what john Gottman calls that. That's the main thing in. If you're not familiar with john Gottman his work. He and his wife, which is, I apologize but it's escaping me her name is escaping me right now, I think might be Julia, I'm not sure. But the point is, is that if you give yourself an out of something, then you never really accomplish what you're setting out to accomplish. So where we run into trouble is where we make, we either don't make enough commitments, or we make too many. And we make the wrong kinds of commitments. So that's really what this talk is about. For those of you who have the wherewithal to listen through all of the my process of getting to how this works. I thank you very much because I wish I could just say the point and have it done. but usually information comes to me slowly and sideways. And I think for many of us, it probably happens that way if we slow down and pay enough attention and are on a growth trajectory. The point that I'm making is, is make the right commitment. So, start by experimenting with commitments. But there's the rub the rub is is if you don't dig in deep enough to the commitment, then you're never going to really get what the commitment can yield. You know, so if you're going to be a socially responsible investor, well then you need to dig into that and you need to what what they say and then design your life but you need to create some prototypes, so that they're not going to, if you fail, that it's not going to destroy you. So, so the challenge is, is what to commit to. That's not going to destroy you. So there's what I like to call redline activities, and people, and red line activities are dangerous. And so you just want to avoid those at all costs. The rest of them are subject to interpretation. And let me see if I can give you a good example so in my relationship my relationship, works, works now better than it ever has before because there's no backdoor for me. Now if all of a sudden, you know, my partner were to become something that was beyond the red line, you know she was an axe murderer or some other thing that was clearly not within my value structure. Then I'm going to, you know, then we're, we're gonna part ways, but you know that's I don't foresee that happening I'm not worried about that. But what I'm saying is, is that it's it's in order to to get somewhere you have to commit. So when you pick your partner, you got to pick your partner with extreme caution you know really listen to, not your thoughts, or you got to do. One of the things that I've said about picking a partner, which worked for me. And I think would work for most people is you got to be in a good place in your life, you got to have worked through your negativities and be riding and just a really happy good zone in your life. And that's when your partner is going to come to you that's going to be the awesome partner who's going to help you get to the highest heights that you want to get. Now here's the rub. If you when you go into a dark place, you're going to start thinking that you know your partner's got problems in your relationship. And that doesn't just go for your partner that's everything. Everything in life is when you get into a dark place you blame it on the circumstances around you, we all do it some more than others. So the point is is that commitment will keep the darkness at bay. No actually won't keep the darkness at bay, but it will, as long as you take a solution oriented approach to your life. It won't consume you. And it won't sabotage you. So that's another big thing that I'm talking about here is when you lack commitment. Then you self sabotage because you bounced from one thing to another when the commitment, does when the things get tough when they're not going the direction that you, that feels right to you. So you need to figure out what. Let me just say it a different way, when you're picking an area that you want to work on. And in that area. Think of three ways that you can achieve your goal. Let's say you want to have $10,000 with the passive income. You could do that via rental properties, you could do that the YouTube channel. Or you could do that, the writing, ebooks, so let's say those are kind of things that I've thought of in my life. So, the point is is that to commit to something in a experimental way. But to stick with it. If it aligns with your values, your mission, and your purpose. So you really have to be clear about those things. Some people are just unconsciously clear about those things. Other people like me, need to work on it, so you need to write down your values, your mission and your purpose. And then the other thing is you have to you have to be really clear on what you, what gives you energy and joy and engagement. And, and you need to follow, Joseph Campbell would call it following your bliss, well that's just a little too vague for me. You, you need to really get tuned in to what energizes you what engages you and what brings you joy, and that's where you should spend your life if you're committed to having everything if you're committed to having a great life, and being a force for positive change in the world, with the world. So the bottom line is commitment. So I would say the simplest place to start is to commit to a daily practice, you commit to a daily practice. And then from there. When you find that you're in your clear state, then you start experimenting with other practices. I don't know sometimes life is just so intense and taking you in so many different directions. That's why a short daily practice is the best place to start because then you'll start to have a little bit of opening around what you can commit yourself to. So, I also want to say it this way there's, there's no true progress without commitment. But then again, there's no true commitment. That is right. So, it is truly like the Dow says the yin and the yang are two sides of the same thing. Inside of commitment is total lack of commitment and just flakiness, and inside of flakiness is total commitment. So you have to ride the balance between the two of those things in order to achieve the highest state of awareness and joy and passion and effectiveness. Now, I do have to say that you can be very effective in a business sense, or in a result sense and ignore all the factors that I'm talking about, but you won't have what I think I'm going to call you know wise commitment, you won't have a wisdom driving your commitment. I've always loved sci fi movies and fantasy movies and one of the things that I think is really powerful is the Council of Elders on the council of elders is awesome, often seen in sci fi and fantasy as a, as a negative force but sometimes they're seen as positive force. So in that, in that idea that you know right now, you could equate modern culture with that of sort of an angsty teenager who wants everything. And we're running to the end of that era, we, it's just unsustainable it won't culturally and psychologically, humans will have to evolve, or, you know, be partially or fully wiped out. And I know that's a big statement. But if you really step back and look at all of the data about people and the progress and. And that's the direction setting. It's only when real danger gets straight in our face that that everybody changes. But that is also to say I don't want to leave you on a negative note, the more people pick up the mantle of wisdom, especially interpersonal and ecological wisdom, then the, we do have hope to create a better future for life, and for our children and grandchildren. So what I'm saying is, is find. Maybe this is the best way to sit commit to the most intelligent thing that you think you can commit to and when I say intelligent I really mean wise, what is the wisest thing that you can commit to experiment with all the other stuff but commit to the wisest thing that you can commit to. And if in a year or five years or 10 years, you realize that that commitment is no longer serving you will then do an assessment in your best state of mind and commit again to something else that is equal, that is more wise than the last thing that you committed to. There's a wonderful saying in which you know when you commit to something the world opens up doors open up opportunities open up. It's in that eternal waffling that doors closed, and that's when you hear someone who complains or if you're complaining yourself, or in the areas where you're complaining. There's no commitment. There has to be commitment, commitment, overpowers complaint and commitment is the source of miracles, you know, a Christian or a Muslim, you name the religion that's out there. The commitment to the religion is what enables those people to see the miraculous. Now I have a different way of looking at the, the, the, the, the origin story of the earth and the and the world and the universe is much more oriented around the current science, but miracles happen inside of a strong commitment whatever your commitment is. So, choose a small wisdom based commitment, talk to your friends, talk to the wisest person that you know the person that has the kind of results that are long term, filled with vitality, or if you don't have anybody like that in your life well then look out in the world. You know use Instagram or the internet find that person that you can follow who has not what entertains you, but what what what grounds you in the wisest approach, you can find in life. I really hope that was useful, please please please send me some feedback, let me know what you think of this talk, let me know how I can make it better. I'll take your feedback and I'll combine it with my process and I truly will try to make it better and more useful for you. Have a wonderful day. Thank you. Transcribed by https://otter.ai
The narrative of that is, is truly that it's a narrative. The. We don't like to think of ourselves as wrong. Basically the Prime Directive you or anyone else has is to maintain consistency in our personal identity. So let me say that again. The Prime Directive of you, once you read us reach a certain age is to maintain consistency in your idea of yourself and your idea of the world. So you will go through the world, confirming what you already see if it helps you feel better about who you are. So that's called confirmation bias is a standard psychological term, but we don't really delve into it, nobody really nobody, most people, myself, most of the time as well, don't have the time or the energy to actually dig into that narrative and see what is actually going on there. And another reason that we don't do that is because it hurts because it will make you feel potentially it will destroy your life. So if you've built a life based on you know the idea that I'm going to try to pick one, you know if you if you've based your life on the idea that corporations are destroying life on Earth. Then, when a corporation comes along and does the opposite of that. It's going to really challenge your view so you became a lawyer you are an anti corporate lawyer. And you had, if you had a view that all corporations were evil. Then you're going to be challenged. If you truly question that idea, or if you believe, like many people do that somehow Biden is going to save us all, or that somehow Trump was going to save us all those types of beliefs, and they're not facts they're beliefs, those types of beliefs are going to get you a lot of good stuff. That's the problem. It's gonna help you in a lot of ways achieve your goals, it's going to give you a community. It's going to give you business it's going to give you wealth, it's going to give you a sense of purpose. So all those things are really what make life life. If you've adopted, you know, an ideology that life begins at conception, you know, and you, then just run with that and you're, you think that all humans need to be born who are conceived. Then, if you somehow question that it's gonna rock your world. So, you know, and if you believe that somehow eating meat is going to destroy the planet. If you dig into that. And you see, and you start questioning that it's going to destroy your identity. So the point is is that we do not ask ourselves questions that destroy our sense of consistency in who we believe that we are because it's really hard because it can destroy your life because you could end up in the gutter, because your marriage could end because you could lose your job. It's super dangerous and people don't think about it that way. You just don't everybody, not everybody but most everybody most of the time runs around thinking that their view is the right view. All you got to do is look around in the world and all the myriad of religions and political views, everybody's got a slightly different tone. And what that means is that most everybody's wrong because truth is truly objective, there is truly only one truth, and that truth is the universe. It is the nature of the universe. That's the only one truth. Now everybody else spins their ideas and their narratives and their stories and their myths around that. And that's beautiful. And that's the way that we all need to live on one way. On one level but we also need to check our quinny to question. If you want to achieve. Next level of consciousness next level of effectiveness, you have to get better at seeing reality. Reality sucks. It's not fun. It doesn't help you all the time, it actually makes your life worse. Most of the time, or, let me say it this way, it makes your life worse, a lot worse, until it gets better. The problem with trying to have a deep and profound relationship with reality is it won't hold up your identity, it won't hold up your life. So you could lose everything. So it's kind of, you know, don't do it. If you just want to protect your own life, then do that. But if somehow you are drawn to a path, in which you are going to do the highest good for this earth, and for the people on it, then it's kind of mandatory to question reality not to question reality so that's another narrative that will blow up an identity, not question reality but to get deeper, more deeply connected to reality. So if you're simply running around go this is all a dream. This is all in my head. I'm a Buddhist and there's there's nothing really here it's all an illusion. one of the side pitfalls of that is that it will have you stopped looking and to deepen your relationship with reality because you're denying the existence of reality. So you have to, to get to the next level of consciousness in your mental space. Essentially, you don't have to, but if you want to be a thinking, being who is respected and makes the world a better place from your ideas. You must enhance your relationship with being related to reality. And the first step enhancing your relationship with reality is to begin to see the limitations of your own perspective and narrative. That's the bottom line. Most people don't want to do that. So why do I keep saying, most people want to do that. I want you. If you're truly hearing this, to realize that you don't want to do this, you don't do this, you don't touch it with a 10 foot pole, you say you do, you're like oh yeah I'm questioning this I'm questioning that, but when it really comes to the stuff that would rock your world at the core you don't do it, and for the most part, you know at this point in my life, I don't do a heck of a lot either. I've got too much to lose. Now when I had nothing and I was living in my van and I was just asking questions. It was actually a lot easier for me to be related to reality because I didn't have anything to lose anyone have a family I didn't have any wealth I didn't have any status. So, so I guess I'm just saying Don't do it. Don't do it, unless you're willing to sacrifice. So I want to get a little metaphysical and spiritual right now. The root of spirituality is sacrifice, not in the, you know, the hang yourself, you know self flagellation of the Christians or those types of sacrifices, those are actually in the right context, can be very beneficial in that they show you the importance of giving up of oneself. In order to help others. That's kind of the bottom line. if you see yourself as somebody who is helping others. Any narrative that doesn't have a deep component of compassion for basically all other life, and all other humans. In my humble opinion, and this is again. So now, when I say opinion I'm crossing over into my narrative, my narrative tells me that compassion is caring for other beings is at least having a heart feeling towards other beings. I'll just personally so that you should know where my bias lies, my bias lies in much of the teachings of Joseph Campbell's view on spirituality mythology and religion, of which I studied for many years and adopted most of his ideas, is you know that the, this is, this j and idea the J and religion of India, in which you must walk around with a mask over your face you don't inhale any bugs and you got to walk with on sandals and be careful not to squash anything. You know that's that's a fine way to live. But ultimately, you will fail. There is no life in bipedal or quad Quadra pad or on land form without, you know harming another we are a constant flow of harmony and disharmony of cooperation and competition. This, that what I noticed with a lot of the people who come with the answers, is that they fully decided one side or the other. And I tried to discuss this with my own family, and they just thought I was confused because they could not accept any non black and white interpretation of reality, it was reality was the way it was God was the way it was spirituality is the way it is and if you're asking questions about that, then you haven't made up your mind, which is the farthest thing from the truth if you're truly a seeker on the path of compassion doing the right thing wisdom, and making the world a better place. You have to ask the questions about your own narrative and your own way and you have to know that you do one thing all the time. You are always making up reality. You make up reality every single day and you can't stop. It's just gonna keep happening, you're gonna keep making up reality. The only thing that you can do like Joseph Campbell says is lean towards the light is keep trying to refine your misconceptions, your bad ideas and build an inner courage, you have to build an inner courage to say these words out loud, I was wrong about that which was super important to me and gave me lots of benefits they've statistically shown that the experts who published their first paper and get a lot of accolades and a lot of social credit and and money and status, their second paper is way less accurate because they've structurally lost the ability to come from a place of I have nothing to lose, and to do raw data to do raw science raw interpretation. So in a way, the idea of the Buddhist beginner's mind, the weight, in a way, this, this idea of of taking yourself out of the picture is really what you have to do, and that's not going to happen. It's only going to happen when you put yourself in a context where it's demanded. There's a few people who can do it on their own. And you may not be one of those people but there's always the risk of just pumping up your righteous narrative pumping up your ego. Some of the most egotistical people in the world are those who practice spirituality, meditation, yoga, there's a self centeredness that grows with the ego. It's a double edged sword, as you become more able to see reality around you, you also become less able to see reality around you, there's always two sides of the story. So, if you want to sum it up in a nutshell, you really have to live according to the yin and yang while you're in a body. What happens after the life in the body, I don't know, nobody knows they tell you differently than, that's fine, go along with that mythological narrative if you need to. If it makes you feel. If it makes you a more compassionate person if it makes you do more good for other beings and the planet then do it, but if you really want to do something profound in the world and make a truly consequential change, you guys stop listening to your own narrative, you got to start engaging yourself or engaging others in the right questions. One of the biggest problems that I had over the last four years. It's about 2021 was, you know, all of I. Being a strong Earth based environmentalist, and someone who believes in you know the universal right to vote. I believe in universal human rights, and I also believe in the inherent sacredness and importance of life, and the importance of rich and diverse ecosystems that are all those things were on have been under constant threat, but that threat was accelerated under this last four years by simple policy, and what's very interesting is during that acceleration of those negative policies, a new narrative emerged that said that somehow these politics were gonna cause a transformation that was going to make the world better in the long run, and that is incredibly destructive. That's the point of which I'm reacting to and making this this audio recording is that if you think that somehow what's happening in front of you is going to justify something better behind it, you are putting like the Nazi did the means, in front of the ends. So if you say the means are going to justify the ends, you are on the wrong side of consciousness you're on the wrong side of history, you're on the wrong side of reality. And, you know, you just got to watch it on all sides, you know if you're saying that no limited free speech is good, because it's going to rein in the bad voices the bad players. Well you got to question that because the means does not justify the ends, it's kind of flipped around come to the other side. If you say that all people should be able to spend as much money as they can, on voting on on influencing public policy on influencing votes. Well that's gonna come around the other way too. And that means we'll never justify the ends. I got a little bit of sidetrack there. So, I have to say out loud, my bias, my bias is, is that when in America, we decided, through our supreme court. And I say that consciously we decided because if you live in America, like it or not, you are bound by the institutions of America we decided through the Supreme Court, through the, you know, however unjust. This system is the more you relate to it as a we, the more you actually have the opportunity to get inside of it and change it, the more you separate yourself from it, the less you're going to actually do it because if you see it as a we then this narrative this idea that you are part of it, you can't run away from, and if something happens that you don't like, then it's gonna feel bad, and it's all about feelings in the end you have to feel, in order to motivate. So my bias, is that I think that when. In America we decided that people could spend as much money as they wanted. In order to influence an election, that somehow that was free speech that that was very foolish, and that it basically creates a structural system in which the most wealthy and powerful and well connected people control how our laws and our governance works, super misguided totally misguided. In my opinion, so then again, that's my opinion that's a narrative, I haven't let go of that. I don't, I mean I suppose I'll have to say here to be non hypocritical. I'm open to changing that narrative. With good rational information. I heard recently from one of my favorite teachers that the best way to find the actual truth about something, is to get the smartest people in the room that disagree about it, to come to consensus. That's really the best way to find the truth because nobody's got it. And in that way, you know, I used to believe that the, the sum total of all people was going to have the highest wisdom, and I don't believe that so much anymore. I mean I believe in democracy I don't, I think that's dangerous not to have democracy we have to have democracy we have to have one vote. But, but I do think that if you get people who are truly attuned to a problem that disagree about it and get them to find some consensus you're going to get way closer to the truth and if you get a bunch of random people in the room who don't know squat, other than what they've heard from their social media headlines period, or they're supposed in depth research in a confirmation narrative that tells them the same thing and confirms everything that they've heard, you have to get people in the room who don't agree with you, who you respect, who you're willing to actually listen to, you're gonna go, Okay, I'm going to suspend my worldview and listen to their worldview and really try it on. See if there are parts of it that work, because if you really do that you'll find that there are, you'll find that there are other parts that don't work. But if you keep on going down that path, you are going to become wiser, more effective. I think ultimately happier, there's going to be some dark times though because you have to acknowledge that this is not a path for everyone this is a path of pain. It's a path of loss of identity in the ultimate way of putting it. If you are truly willing to have your identity die. Your sense of self. If you confront the void of life with full embrace, I can't say I'm there yet but I'm constantly working to get better at that. If you embrace the void fully, then you can possibly get through your limiting ideas that help you, that veil reality from you. I wish you the best of luck on all your travels and endeavors. I hope that you are trying to work make this world a better place by your actions that you have compassion for all creatures, and for all of life on Earth, and the more of us out there there are the more of us working towards creative solutions, there are, the more businesses that start on these principles, the more social movements that started these principles, the more activism and starts on these principles, the world can have hope. And even in the midst of this great crisis in which the biodiversity of Earth is 90 plus percent gone already. And has gone so fast that it's, it's, it's urgent. It's deadly urgent. So it's urgent because we're using up the land we're using up the water, we're fighting amongst each other, and we're just doing what we think is right for ourselves, rather than what's right for the whole so I hope you're working towards the whole. Thank you for listening to my passionate podcast release. Send me a message ask me what you want me to talk about next, and have a wonderful empowered and enlightened life. Transcribed by https://otter.ai
If you consciously make a plan for your life you are way more likely to accomplish it. Transcription. Hello everyone, Mike Stokes with Wild Alive Living today what I'd like to talk about is the importance of planning, and the pitfalls of planning your life. So, we all tend to live on a spectrum of whether we focus on grand visions, or really minutiae in our life so some people are very focused on the details right in front of them. And other people are focused on sort of the grand vision way out into the future. And some people lie somewhere in the middle. So, what I'm going to say is that you being both good at the details and good at the Grand visioning is a critical skill, also learning out how to block out the distractions in your world. My daughter is crying right now. My wife is taking care of her. And I just need to let that go. So focus is a whole other element that we can talk about at a different time. So currently I'm living in my new 40 acre property in Northern California, of which I had planned, many, many years ago. The real grounded, the writing down of the plan happened in 2005, I believe. That's when I wrote down on a little piece of paper. After adopting this idea from a book that I read of Lost and Found dreambox I wrote down on a piece of paper of having a self sufficient homestead that I own outright, that has produces its own food, electricity, water and heat and comfort. So, I have not accomplished the totality of that goal but I took a huge step towards the fruition of that goal by purchasing a home in Northern California that has two houses on it they're both fixer uppers on 40 acres that has the potential to have all those things we already have our own water. We're working currently on our electricity in our food systems, and our heating, cooling is just a matter of installation so we're heating and we're working on all of those. But the point of my story is is that that was a 15 year ago plan, and over those last 15 years I had done a lot of various iterations of it, but the main idea that I came up with at that point was that I was going to buy a piece of property as a stepping stone towards getting another piece of property, through the conventional realm of mortgages and I knew that I didn't want to get out of the conventional realm of mortgages but that was my focus. So, in. In, the importance of what I'm saying is that that vision, although I forgot about it many times in my day to day life that vision was always sort of in the background, and always guiding my pursuit. I would say in hindsight, if I were to do it over again, I would put the vision a little bit more front and center in my life right now, or over the last 15 years it's been living on a three by five card that was posted on my desk, and had some prominence but it wasn't something I checked in regularly with. But in addition to that, I have a support group, a mastermind type group that we support each other on achieving goals and so that goal was always in my goals and in, we started 12 years ago and we had a 12 year, a 10 year iteration, that recently passed. Actually, it hasn't quite passed yet we decided to end it about nine years because we all did so well on our goals. Didn't reinvent it again for the next 10 years. So the point that I'm trying to make is that there's this, if you're the type of person who doesn't like to plan into the future, or you're the type of person who doesn't like to manage the day to day details. You have to either surround yourself with people that are good at the opposite of that and be willing to take their support and advice or get better at those yourself, so I have one friend who he's very good at the details and not so good at the long term planning so we'd always try to coax him out into the long term who's part of our support group, we would always try to coax him into more long term goal setting and he was always struggling with the same thing I don't know what I want, I don't really know what I want. So that's just a symptom of being the kind of person that is really focused in on the details. I, on the other hand, and one of the sort of big visionary type planners who gets all sort of lost in this grand vision of things and sort of can lift off into the clouds of some wonderful vision of life, and then not grounded. But what I've been working on over the past 2025 years, is how to take that part of myself and not destroy it, because that's one of the pitfalls is that we think that we need to let go of our grand visions in order to actually accomplish something, but to empower the grand vision with a more grounded approach, so it does mean sort of narrowing it, and a lot of times, but not killing it. So, Joseph Campbell says a wonderful thing. If you don't know who Joseph Campbell is. Look at the power of myth read the hero's journey. Read myth to live by. Those are all wonderful ways to approach. One of the most amazing teachers of our time. But he says, you know, be careful when you exercise your demons, not to kill the best part of yourself. So when you're grounding your vision, or when you're learning how to get a vision for your life you want to make sure that that if you're a detail oriented person that you keep that detail orientation of yourself alive and thriving, and if you're a very vision oriented person that you keep that vision oriented part of yourself alive and thriving. So that's enough about the, the balance of those two sides so now how do you do that. So, one of the, it's, it's pretty phenomenal. If you just get in the habit of writing down your goals. There's some crazy statistics of double blind scientific studies that show that simply the act of writing down a goal will make you 90% more likely to achieve it. Now obviously the more lofty the goal, the more ungrounded the goals, the more difficult that's going to be. But still, just the simple act of writing it down so start writing down things. The first thing that I would recommend is that you start. So I tend to be the visionary type so that's where I'm going to help you with. If you're not really good at the visioning part so I'm going to start with the visioning part and then we'll work our way back to the details because that's not my forte. The visioning part. So you want to start with is far out of a vision as you can. So for example, for me, this morning, what my wife and I did was we just went out 30 years, so I'm 52 now that would be 82, years old. What I want to be doing at 82 years old. And the answer for me was is I want to be doing. I want to be teaching. I want to be speaking. And I want to be designing, those are the things that I want to be doing and I want to be doing in those realms that are really important to me ecology, human potential, and in the interface between humans and the environment and how we become a force for thriving ecosystems inside of our thriving lives. So that's me. You're gonna have your own vision of what that might be. And you may have to do some work to get there, especially if you're a detail oriented person who kind of keeps your head down most of the time. So start with that that you know will literally write down the year. How old you'll be and what you can think of that you want, but you won't be doing, what do you wanna be living. Who do you want to be with. And then work back either 10 or 15 years whatever increments makes sense for you, for us what makes sense for us was to go back around ages of our daughters our daughter's three now. So we took her from three to 13, to 18, to 33, those are the time slots so that was, you know, basically. 10 years out, which is 2033 and then 15 years out, and then 30 years out, and each one of those, you're going to see a different self. So it's important to take into consideration all of the things that are important to you. So another way to block out your future life planning is to is to go into the rounds. So the rounds are fairly simple but it's very important to keep them separate and acknowledged, there'll be overlap but you want to know what they are so one is health. Another is vocation and career, calling. Another is relationships, including family and romantic. Another is your home space. another is your happiness, psychology, spirituality. All of those are pretty good ways to divide up the rounds of your life, because you're gonna have goals and all of those rounds and you need to honor all those realms. There's no way you're just gonna if you just focus on career and then your health goes to crap Well then, what what's it all for. If you just focus on health and then your finances go to crap and you don't have any nice place to live, moderately comfortable Well then, what's that for too, or if you focus on those other things and have relationships that absolutely blow, then that's not going to work either. So you got to figure out what are your priorities. Now, in, in my world I've put a lot of energy into relationships over the past. 20 plus years and so that rooms working pretty good It still needs maintenance I still have to make sure that my relationships are tuned up and taken care of. But my focus is more on career and calling and home sight and health. So, the point is, is that you need to identify those areas you want to identify some blocks that make sense out in front of you 510 15 2030 years out, go as far out as you possibly can. And then, when you're at the, you really want to begin from the end of your life and work your way back. So, you know, there's a saying, you know, at the end of my life I want to be used up. I want to have, you know, used up all my potential I don't want to have any of that left so that I would like to have that be happening at the end of my life. So the point of what I'm trying to say here is that, so you have your timelines let's say you have a piece of paper, let's have your timelines across the top, and then your realms across the left hand column and then start putting in one, maybe two things in those realms. You can put in other places in sort of a brainstorming board, the things that you want to be do and have just around like sort of a MindScape, you know, let's say you've always wanted to build and design a house, so that would go somewhere in there let's say you've always wanted to write a book that would go somewhere there let's say you've always wanted to travel the world that would go somewhere let's say you've always wanted to have kids, that's going to go on there somewhere. Now, each one of these, you want to start looking at it and seeing where it fits. And sometimes it's gonna fit sometimes it's not gonna fit. It's really important that you come to realize that you can accomplish many things within the realm of reality in the realm of reality will afford you lots of opportunities, but mainly we. A great way to think of it, is that we underestimate what we can do in 10 years and we overestimate what we can do in 24 hours, so be conservative and your short term goals and pretty, pretty lofty and your long term goals. Now the big challenge with the planning here so the first thing to focus to make sure is that you've got a plan in place, like Stephen Covey says begin with the end in mind so the ultimate end. What's the end of your life. Where do you want that to go, and then work your way back. Now when you're working your way back, you got to get back to now, so you'll have an imperfect plan and you're going to have to change course a lot, but you at least want to have that plan in place, just like for when I bought this property. It was an imperfect plan it took a lot of time. But we got there, to the point that we're at. And so now we're in the process of inventing our next 10 2030 year plan and even taking it farther out so that we have something to ground in this ties back to my last episode about, you know, the power of now is not, it's kind of baloney. In the sense that if you don't have a future that inspires you now, you're never going to be motivated to do what you need to do to, to create things and you're also not going to have that good of a time in the present either. So, so when you're working your way back. There's technology around back casting where you really dig into the dates and ask yourself the question, it what would determine what would make it necessary for that result to be produced by what I'm doing right now. So for example, let's say you wanted to buy a house. What would be the necessary outcome is to have the money or the financing to to buy that house. But that's not actually sufficient you actually have to have other layer of motivation and the right property. So you just keep asking yourself what would actually make it inevitable. For this to happen. And you keep working in that direction what's going to cause inevitability in my plan. Another very important thing to do is to not rely on willpower and your plan is to create structures. This is a whole part of what I'm constantly harping on again and again and again. Do structure structures structure your life for success. So you structure. you build structures and roles that create natural motivations in your life, you know, an automatic savings plan and automatic investing plan a, you know, a job that requires you to get up at 5am in the morning and go and make money if you don't have that a partner in your private business that you know demands that you show up a family that makes sure that you're on track, whatever it is that it takes to motivate you, everybody's motivated by different things so I can't tell you what's gonna motivate you, but you need to find inside of yourself What are those norms that motivate you to be an action, and to move in the direction that you want to go. So there's many, many principles of how to execute the plan and if you go through some of my previous podcasts and adopt. You know, reading the feedback and embracing failure, and many of the other ones there are those who will help you execute the plan, execute the plan but the purpose of this podcast is to is to give you a grounding in planning, and so plan as far out as you can and then bring it back to this week and see what you can do this week with what you have from where you are at the time, at this moment in time. So there's got to be some action that you could take that somehow no matter how thin thread is somehow connected to that big future. And I think that's a great image to hold in your mind is that that future no matter how lofty it is. There's a thread of action and thought that can connect you to it. So, use that thread moving that action and then work the feedback and the failures to, to make it more of a reality in your life. And if you do that diligently without telling yourself. I suppose the other most critical part is you have to let go continually any belief that it's not possible, and continue to expand your real belief not a fake. New Age, you know intention. You know there's there really needs to be more attention paid to this old saying, The road to hell is paved with good intentions. There's so much visioning and planning and work like that. That is still just sitting in the realm of good intentions and those intentions do nothing until they're grounded in action. So your intentions have to transform into beliefs and those beliefs have to transform into actions and then those actions will create results. And it has to happen in that order. And so what I'm saying is in order for all that to happen, you have to have a thread of belief that connects you to your grand future. It doesn't have to be a huge thread doesn't have to be a giant rope, but the point is is to have that thread and then attach another thread, and then attach another thread and then attach another thread and before you know it, that little thread that attached you to that big future is now twine, and then a rope, and then a cable, and then a giant root tap. So that's it so I think, To sum up, if you're detail oriented, start to really push yourself to plan your farthest out future, if you're far out oriented really push yourself to ground that future into actions today. Keep a belief structure connected a thread connected to that deep far future of yours go as far out as you can and see all the signposts along the way as parts of that future. Alright, have a wonderful day hope that was helpful, and we will hope to talk to you again soon. Transcribed by https://otter.ai
I love to surf. I've been doing it since I was 13 years old. One of my favorite things to do when surfing is a long drawn-out carve. It's one of the funnest moves in surfing. In life we often think that we need to make dramatic changes in order to create and fulfill our visions for the future. In reality this is rarely the case. Success in our lives comes in incremental changes in our behavior and can be thought of as carving a new direction in your life using the momentum from dropping in on the wave that you just caught that is your life. And if you do it right when you carve out a new direction in your life you will gain momentum and not lose it. Everything is fractal if you carve and gain momentum in your life it looks beautiful to you and to others and if you do the same on a wave it'll look beautiful to others and feel beautiful to you.
Power mindfulness being present believe that if we just get better at being more present our life will be better. To some extent that's true but there's one big flaw and not thinking. And I cover it in this short audio. Spoiler alert it's not about being present it's about believing in a future that empowers you to feel good and be in action.
How to thrive in the Apocolypse. Holistic style.
Hello everyone, Mike Stokes Wilde alive education here. Today I'd like to talk about sheltering in place, and how to find the positive, good parts of the crisis that we find ourselves in. In my last episode I spoke of, you know how to stay, how to thrive how to how to stay in a good mindset. And those lessons are still valid. Now. It's important to do your best to step out of the sheeple mentality the the mainstream, emotional narrative, man Extreme narratives are always emotional. They're very rarely rational. You know, we do need to worry about our elderly and our vulnerable population. But the statistics show that coronavirus is not worse than any of the other threats that we face in our day to day lives. They are for some of us, but not for others. So that's that's still important thing you know, and again, you still want to be a good person, and do your best for your, your fellow human, but also not get caught up in the emotional narrative that this is somehow only bad. So I'd like to talk about a couple of the upsides. You know, typically, our society is so outwardly focused, and so focused on material gain that we can't see the obvious good things in front of us. So a simple example that many of You're probably heard about is the reduced deaths due to air pollution because of the slowed economic activity. And then the obvious, slowed impact, slowing impact of the climate crisis, the climate, human induced climate destabilization crisis, the slow burn crisis that is much more of a greater existential threat to our lives. In the long term, then the novel coronavirus is to us. It's almost like we have to go a little bit against our animal nature, which is to react to the crisis in front of us. You know, that's how we evolved. We evolved to survive in the face of immediate threats, tigers and lions and gorillas in mammoths and hippos and all kinds of Dangerous beasts that were around us during our early years as humans. And it was a very successful strategy. But as we became more dominant over all the species on Earth, then those strategies are helpful. And they're actually super important. Like it's important to honor your emotional wisdom. It's just sometimes misplaced, especially when we have some early traumas in our life that we replay over and over again. I'm trying to think of a good example for that. I could just say that for myself, my fear of being ostracized by the group, many of us have that same fear. You know, the old saying goes that the second greatest fear He's deaf. And the number one fear is public speaking. And that's because public speaking is a potential social death. So our emotional bodies tell us that social death is worse than physical death. Because in many cases, when we were growing up in social bands, if we were kicked out of the social group, be that our pre human ancestors or be that our small bands of humans that came before us. If you were kicked out of the group, then you are pretty much dead, your chances of survival were, you know, very, very low. So the interesting thing that's happening now is we're all you know, the social distancing is making the group the bigger social group a little less prevalent. A, of a motivating factor in our lives so. So it's actually a wonderful opportunity to take some extra time to go inside. And to really delve into the depths of your own psyche. I study a bit of young in psychology and dream analysis. And over the years, what I've noticed is, you know, young would say that, you know, take all the symbols that you learn, and then when you're looking at a patient, just throw out all of the symbols that you learn and then deal with the patient in front of you. And when you're trying to sort of make sense of your own dreams. It's it's kind of the same thing. Really, what matters is is the emotional importance that you put on the symbols in your own dreams. So, I often find when there's big shifts in my own consciousness that they come around a home that I'm living in, and my home sort of changes shape, depending on where I'm at, emotionally and psychologically. So I remember many years ago, I was contemplating being a leader of a large training organization and, and the rooms of this house which is vast in my own house were vast and expansive and majestic and mansion like and and interestingly enough, I was struggling with going the direct path that they had in front of me. So I sort of entered through a side back entrance when I came into this house. But my recent dream that just actually happened last night I was focused, I was seeing this amazing re model of my home that was a lot of stone and, and just really beautiful, rustic work and my partner had a huge huge impact on it. And so the reason I tell this, you know, anecdotal story about myself is that the same things are happening for you. Right now there is an internal shift happening in you. And you're facing things that you don't normally have to face. Now, you know, if you're in solitary confinement is, you know, it's used in prisons, but it was also used by shamans and shaman trainers, to cause the trainee to crack through their normal consciousness and to find their higher potential their higher self. So in a way, we're all in a Shimano rite of passage right now we're we're first forced to go a little bit more internal. Now, here's the here's the thing that I think is probably just the basic point of this whole. The short little talk is, if you take the social distancing and the increased isolation In you just numb yourself out with Netflix in YouTube and, you know, mystery novels and romance novels or whatever your particular thing is, you're not going to get very much out of this. But if you take this internal time as a time to dig in, you know, I, I'm a huge proponent of digging as deep as you can. Like I've said in previous talks, that's very important that if you the the size of the change that you want, really equals the size of the support that you need. So it's actually probably better in this time where we can't really spend a lot of time with our teachers and mentors and people like that, to go a little bit light on your personal transformation route on your personal growth route. If you have, you know, if you have online conferencing and your setup and you're communicating with your support, you know, with your teacher or your mentor, and then that's fine, you know, go ahead and Do that. That being said, there there's, there's always less, less really powerful connection when you're, you know, doing it virtually, you know there is a real physical field that happens when we are in close proximity to one another. And when we're interacting with one another on an emotional level, so so that being said, the big lemonade that you can make out of these lemons is to go internal and really repurpose your life. You want to take you know, recycle, repurpose, reinvent, take all of the things, compost, all of that old stuff, take some time to really dig into what's important to you. You know, write it down. We recently are in a big transition moving from one location to another, getting closer to the land closer to our dream of living self sufficiently and sustainably and having a little bit more insulation from the vicissitudes of the world economy. And so for us personally for me and my partner, my daughter, it's I don't want to bore you with our process, but what I want to focus on, so we're going through our process, but whatever, whether that's relevant to you or not, what I want to say is that you are having a spiritual experience, whether you're aware of it or not, you're having a transformational psychological experience, whether you were of it or not, there is a field of consciousness that we all tap into. You know, Jung called it the collective unconscious, some people call it the field, there's a lot of different things. I don't want to try to convince anybody of that if you're interested in being convinced there are many people books that are written about synchronistic events between people at the same time around the world. A great example is when World War Two, peace was declared at the end of World War Two people who had no idea no neat newspaper would would just walk out into the streets because they felt something because the whole world was on a new, a new trajectory. So, here in rise, the the sort of the, the rub of the of the spiritual warrior, the conscious, the conscious warrior, you have to see, you have to be aware of the field that you're in. And right now we're in a higher anxiety field. The field of the entire human species is anxious, more anxious than it normally is, and it was already anxious. And there's the levels of uncertainty are spilling over into people's emotions and those emotions, not Rational ideas, not information. those emotions are what translate into actions and choices. So those emotions are, you know, they're causing people to make. Not very good decisions. So your job at this time is to really go inside not to make a bunch of huge changes. But to go inside and slow down. You know, make sure you got your basic needs met. But you know, most of us, at least in the westernized countries, I don't see the Western countries in the more wealthy countries. We have our basic needs met, not everyone, but many people do. And so if you are in that camp where you have your basic needs met, then start to dig into use this time to dig into what's next for you, and not what's next for you. So the first thing you got to do is acknowledge the field of anxiety. See the anxiety that's yours and start see the anxiety that you adopted? Start to let that go. And then start to sort of tap in ground. You know ground your feet into the ground, put your feet into the earth get get a little bit more grounding around your home, you know, this would be a great time to do spring cleaning. You know what, what spring cleaning does. So a cluttered house is a cluttered mind is a cluttered emotional body is a fragmented spirit. So, when you can clear out your space, your spirit will become less cluttered and more free. So if you're struggling of what to do in this time of sort of spiritual renewal, in this time of psychological renewal, I use those terms interchangeably. Because they really are when we say spiritual we mean psychological they're they're too intertwined to be separated in in the way we think. Some people like to draw a dividing line between psychology and religion, but there's no dividing line and there's never been a dividing line in psychology itself. deepest roots are in mythology and religion. So, you know, it's it's useless to divide them and it's actually detrimental. The more you can integrate your religious and psychological ideas and beliefs, the more you can have a holistic, full, wise perspective on the world. So let go or practice releasing, you literally put your hand in your body on the ground if you need to release the tension that is flying around in the air and ground into your inner space ground into your physical space. Use this time to make your physical space the most powerful space that you can make it. So that's really it. And inside of that, you know, take some time to record what you find. And re sorry I got distracted here I'm trying to finish something on the recorder take some time to reevaluate yourself. in your life, and, and in use the natural separation to create a healthy boundary from the dysfunctional forces in the macro society. The macro society is dysfunctional. That's why it's killing ecosystems. That's why there's war. That's why there's all these things. Now some of those things are inherent, you know, to the group dynamic of humans, but you as an individual do not have to follow that full group dynamic. You can be an outlier, you can be the shaman on the hill, you can be the enlightened politician, you can be the enlightened CEO, you can be the enlightened clerk, you can be the person who brings his own or her own powerful stabilizing energy to the world. But you do have to step a little bit outside of the group mind to get there. Group mind is incredibly powerful and incredibly dangerous. So by all means, utilize the group mind for its benefit. That's when you're attaching yourself to small groups of enlightened people that's very important for your support. But don't just take automatically the group mind that's given to you, and begin by filtering out more and more the mainstream interpretation of what's happened and not not embracing things that will just feed the insecure parts of yourself or just feed your ego, but really allow yourself to be challenged and to be opened and grounded. So those are the keys if you can allow yourself to be challenged if you can allow yourself to be owned, open, but at the same time, keep grounding yourself. Keep literally if you don't know what that means, just take your shoes off and walk on the ground. Clean up your kitchen, clean up your living room, do your dishes, balance your checkbook Take care of the basic necessities make food in advance and deserve it. All of those things are grounding activities. Eat more fiber. All of that will ground you so ground and open and go inside. And I wish you all the luck in the world. I wish you a powerful and freeing journey. And remember that you know, pain free is not the goal. But being unreactive in the face of pain and wise about the way you deal with it is the goal. Those who seek to be pain free do turn into monsters. So that's not where you're going. You're trying to go to a place where pain is a part of the joyful life that we live in. And we do our best to not let it control us. I don't want to leave on the pain note. Pain is just a part of the process. The pain is is it's a small part. It doesn't need to be a huge part of your life. If you've got tons and tons of pain all the time. in your life, you are somehow addicted to it, and you need to let it go. If this trauma this world psychological anxiety ridden state is wreaking havoc on you then you need to reassess your relationship with pain and trauma and try to see them for the teachers that they are a pain in a trauma only becomes worse when the teacher behind the trauma is not listened to. So listen to the teachers in your life around yourself, open yourself up, go deeper, write down some of the stuff that you discover. And then take that into some sort of support structure which you create virtually or after social distancing is over to then help you manifest it in reality, you need support. I'm not saying to go internal and then forget about people. You are a social creature. You just need to learn how to harness the emotional social force and not let it dominate you so that you dominate it and it doesn't dominate you. Have a wonderful day. I hope this was very valuable and make turn lemons into lemonade and share the wealth. If you found this valuable, please click the notification button and subscribe. Have a wonderful day. Transcribed by https://otter.ai
The website I was referring to in the episode is https://www.worldometers.info/ They have another page on the age distribution of Covid which is really helpful. https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/coronavirus-age-sex-demographics/ Here is the transcription of the episode. Hello, everyone, Mike Stokes Wildlife education. Today I'd like to talk about the corona virus. Obviously, everyone's thinking about it. And I think there's two things that are very important. There's a website. I don't think I have it in front of me. But it marks out the statistics of what's happening around the world, like how many people die from the flu last year, which was, I think, approximately 20,000. And how many people are more and how people die and all the different giant measures of what's happening on the macro scale and on planet earth today and the coronavirus is, in all probability statistically going to be negligible in its overall effect of death and illness on the planet relative to other things. Elon Musk has been chastised for saying that you're more likely to die in a car wreck than you are from Corona virus, but statistically, he's correct. So, as much as I think it's important to protect yourself, and to not give other people, rotavirus, especially elderly, there's wonderful statistic from that same website, which I'll try to post in the show notes, the website, and it showed the mortality rate for the corona virus from 00 to over 80. And basically, no there's been zero fatalities, if your infant up to nine years old and then it progressive goes up like a point 5% to 1% to 2% every decade. And then by the time you get into your 70s, it jumps dramatically to 7%. And then in your 80s, it jumps dramatically to 14%. So it is very dangerous disease for the elderly, not so dangerous for the young and healthy, and no danger at all for anyone under nine years old. Now, those kids can be vectors that bring it to people who are vulnerable, so you still want to be careful. So that's number one. And I think that underlines a a big issue that is very important if we're trying to thrive in a world filled with challenges and turmoil and problems. And that is that we are primarily emotional creatures as much as we like to think of ourselves as rational. That's just not who we are what we the emotional or emotional needs. Nature is what kept us thriving and surviving. All these years throughout evolution, we developed our emotional radar in order to help us survive. And it's very useful in a small band of humans or a, you know, a small band of chimpanzees, our closest relatives that are still living on the family species tree. But in these larger societies, emotional reactions can hinder us rather than help us. The biggest mistake that most people make around making decisions around things like the corona virus or others is that we believe ourselves to be rational. I have a close relative who is constantly harping on the idea of how to separate emotion from rationality. The problem is, is that he believes that he's irrational He is rational and not emotional in his decision making process. But, but he's not. Because he fundamentally doesn't accept the fact that mostly he's emotionally driven. So once you accept that you're emotionally driven in that your first response to the coronavirus is going to be an emotional one and not a rational one, then you can start to backtrack and be like, Okay, I'm reacting emotionally. So now what would actually be more of a rational approach? So the the instinct, the initial reaction is helpful when a cheetahs chasing you to get out of the way, but that initial reaction in a more measured approach doesn't really work. So, in essence, you want to practice enlightening lighting up your prefrontal cortex, and sort of suppressing or sort of calming down the center of your amygdala, I think is what it's called. I'm not 100% Your point is, is to acknowledge that you're, you are going to react emotionally to this global pandemic. And it is a global pandemic because many people are going to die especially vulnerable people, but not necessarily you. It probably not you, most likely not you, you might not even get sick depending on how old you are. So that's one part of the corona virus that I wanted to talk about. The second part is is this just came to me and I think this is really great opportunity. You know, I've, I don't want to be a vector of the corona virus. I don't want to give it to the vulnerable population, so I don't want to get it. And if you look at the research, the latest research is that the corona virus can survive for 48 to 72 hours on solid surfaces. The exception being copper, it can only survive for four hours on copper It only survived 24 hours on cardboard. The point is, and then it can go undetected and a human for seven days without any symptoms. So it's it's everywhere. And it's it's going to be everywhere. And the interesting thing is, is that if you really pause and you stop and start to observe the people around you, most people won't change. Most people, especially in democratic societies, like the United States will continue to shake each other's hands, they will continue to touch all kinds of surfaces, they won't sanitize their hands, they won't do the regular washings. But what you can do is you can use it as a mindfulness practice. So touching your face is it's so basically the the most common way you transmit any type of virus or flu or cold is by touching something and touching your face, whether that be somebody's hand, or whether that be a surface. So you touch it, you touch your face, and then it's in So by being mindful of how you use your hands will really help. And it'll also give you a new body awareness, which is a phenomenal thing to have. If you're struggling with mindfulness around touching your face, then by all means wear a mask because you won't be tempted to touch your face if you have a mask on. Now, that's the real benefit of wearing a mask. The benefit of wearing a mask isn't because someone's going to spit the virus in your face. It's because you won't touch your face. So on the same note, if you wear gloves in, then you're gonna also be less likely to touch your face. So wear gloves. So those are the most common vectors. Yeah, the important thing is to try to think statistically around these things rather than emotionally. And you know, the mainstream media is emotional. It's that's why we watch it is because it sort of taps into an old part of us that needs to react. In order to feel alive, feel engaged and to feel like we're somehow in control. But if you pause back and let go of that, and just look at the basic facts, the basic facts are is that, you know, it's a community that you take into account the seven day incubation period, and the 72 hours on most surfaces, it's, it's gonna affect almost all of us and it's coming. It's just coming. And it's probably coming to you at some point unless somebody miraculously creates a vaccine, which there has not been an incentive to do until now. So so that's one thing to not be a vector. And if you're elderly to stay or elderly or you have disease to stay safe, you don't have to hole up in your house. Although, you know, that's a good thing. If you feel like you're having symptoms, pull up in your house. But you do have to be mindful about what you touch and touching your face. So if you can't control touching your face where I'm asked to wear gloves, it's pretty simple. And then you have to begin to be conscious about, you know, you want to have a relationship with viruses and bacterias. This is something that I think it's super important for modern society to see all viruses and bacterias as enemies, which they are absolutely not. If we didn't have the beneficial bacteria in our gut, we die. beneficial bacteria in our gut and in our armpits and on our skin, and on our scalp and all over our body, do all kinds of wonderful functions. For us. There's, there's even been studies that show that if you have really diverse, rich, beneficial bacteria in your gut, you have more willpower. The point is, is that we need to transform our relationship with bacteria and viruses and not see them all as bad but see it as a, it's kind of like a dance with other living creatures in the same way that we feel like we're dominant. And above the animals and plants on Earth, we need to have more of a humble relationship with them. One way that I've heard it said is that bacteria and virus rule the earth, they are the true kings and queens of the planet. And we live by their grace. If they, you know, go insane and take over, then they can take us out in a heartbeat. So we need to learn how to live with them in a conscious way. So one of the ways to live with them in a conscious way is to become more mindful of your body movement. And with all the other mindfulness techniques, it helps. So if you were to sit down and meditate, if you were to do yoga, if you were to do conscious movement, any of those types of techniques will help you become more mindful of how you move your body. Especially when you're stressed. We have lots of things thought forms in your head, you tend to move in ways that are mindless, that's when you pick something up and then put it down and you don't remember where you put it down because you went into a mindless, so it's not mindless, it's basically too much mind. So when they say, when they say mindfulness, it's basically taking your mind out of a thread that you're just spinning around, to bring it back into your body. So you're connected to the movements that you're making and those movements either being physical, or the breath, which is another physical movement. So use this as an opportunity to be more mindful. A couple of words on immunity. It's always a good idea to strengthen your immune system. I'll just give you a couple of things that I do personally, and that I think are beneficial for everybody. I do not do pharmaceuticals. I instead choose herbs and foods. My personal choice For immunity support is a bulk Rishi T, bulk ROP and Chaga and astragalus. Also sometimes elderberry. Those are the main ones that I use these use these days. chamomile is also a very good immune builder. And there's lots more you know, you can use your favorite. Find your favorite supplemental person to do that. I would say just several things on immunity building, you have to address your fundamental stress levels and you have to address your fundamental activity levels. And, you know, immunity is a state of balance in the body like Hatha Yoga Sun Moon yoga, it means to be in a state of balance in your body. So, the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems are constantly backing and forth the sympathetic nervous system engaging when you're stressed and you need that energy to move forward and the parasympathetic nervous system when you Need to calm and relax and rest. So you need to work on finding a balance between your sympathetic and your parasympathetic nervous system. In modern society, almost all of us are overly jacked on our sympathetic nervous system, too much stimulants, too many stimulating activities too much stimulating visuals, so we need to come more into the parasympathetic mode. When you activate your parasympathetic mode, your immunity grows, and the immunity grows in the same at the same time it really grows. This is going to be kind of geeky for some of you that aren't really into it, but I now use a whoop. I'm not doing any promo for whoop, I just personally like it. Don't get any money from them. I use a loop and the reason I use a whoop is because they're very good on the heart rate variability measurement and heart rate variability goes up when you're in better cardiovascular health better overall. All health and when your immune system is in balance, so when you start getting sick, your heart rate variability drops. And when you start getting well your heart rate variability rises. So I've been very much enjoying tracking my heart rate variability and really being honest with myself and seeing that when I have a late night sugary snack right before bed, my heart rate variability drops and I have a lower resting and recovery rate. When I'm about to get some sort of flu or virus or cold, again, I heard really drops as my body's trying to fight it off. So as you're doing your immune building activities, be that hanging upside down and inversion swing or yoga or meditation, or running or biking or surfing or hiking or whatever your chosen thing is that most resonates with you. If you Have a way to track it. And measure yourself. You know, there's an old saying that says, what gets measured gets managed, and most people other than professional athletes, and you know, really fitness enthusiasts don't really measure their overall wellness. So I recommend a heart rate variability, measurement. There are other ways to do it. I'm just not really familiar with ones that work other than heart rate variability. And again, you don't need to do that. I just find that or I think it's a tried and true principle that measuring something will tell you whether the, what you're doing to your body's actually working, that it's very important to be honest with yourself and realize that if you're committed to health and fitness and vitality, that you're constantly experimenting on yourself, and unlike a scientist, you usually don't evaluate the results and you usually don't go back and really check what didn't work, other than sometimes just giving up Usually, sometimes it's sort of like oh, that sort of felt better. And when it feels better we keep going sometimes if we have enough motivation, so the more ways that you can measure your, the way that the things that you're doing are affecting you the better. Last thing I would say in closing is many people try to change too many things at once, like add five new supplements to your regimen, or try to, on New Year's Eve, try to you know, work out six days a week or whatever it is, you try to take on too much change or too many different types of change. So what I really know to be the most sustainable way to achieve long lasting change is to change one small thing at a time. So add one small supplement to your regimen. Add one small exercise to your routine, add one small cardio activity, add one new type of meditation and sustain those for you know for a month. I think it takes them minimum of 30 days, you know the best way, be hard, but the best way to really achieve knowledgeable results of your own experiments on your own health is to sustain something for half a solar cycle or a full solar cycle before you evaluate whether it's really working or not. So I hope that's been helpful. Just to review, remember that you are entirely emotional, your first reaction is probably not the way to go. You need to sort of back off, meditate, relax, hang upside down, do some yoga, go for a run, and then reevaluate, and then know statistically that you're likely not in much danger unless you're very elderly or very ill, and then also know that I don't think I said this earlier, but you're going to be dealing with other people's emotional reaction and it's very hard to go against the social pressure tide. So don't try to convince Others have your newfound peace inside of the crisis, let them have their crisis. Because you're probably gonna lose that battle. And then they're gonna think that you're snotty or something like that. So just just, you know, fight your side of the battle, find your allies who are willing to come with you. And this this more measured rational approach of building immunity and not infecting others and staying calm about your own statistical probability of dying or getting mortally sick from this disease. It's an unknown, and the unknown is always scary. I guess I have one more thing to say. The there going to be real financial repercussions to this there already are. But those are not really from the virus itself. Those are all from the psychological reaction of the mass culture on planet Earth. So we're not looking at a pandemic that's going to destroy the world economy. What we're looking at is a real reaction to a pandemic that could really tank the world economy. But that's all perceptions. So you don't have to be one of those people. You should be looking for opportunities to help other people and for opportunities to fulfill needs and to solve problems that will generate wealth and abundance for you and for others. Again, thank you for listening, subscribe and hit the notification bell If you liked this podcast, and have a wonderful day. Transcribed by https://otter.ai
There are many people focusing on the technical details of how to save life as we know it on Earth. But the technical solutions will always fall short. What is needed now is a spiritual revolution that puts the interconnected-ness of all life at the center of religion and rejects tribalism as the core tenant. In this episode, I cover the main new ideas and beliefs that must be embraced if we are see A vital future for human kind. Transcript Hello, everyone, Mike Stokes Wildlife education. Today I'd like to talk about the most important issue of our time. And I'm the topic that I'm calling this podcast YouTube episode is how to save life on Earth as we know it. So the first thing that I have to say, because I want to speak to those of you out there that may feel like a friend of mine does in that life on earth is going to be just fine and it's really about humans in our life on Earth. That is going to be the real challenge. So what I'm suggesting is there's a way to hopefully mitigate a lot of the negative impacts of human life on Earth. So that we can retain some semblance of the natural world and the way of life that we are used to anyone who's been paying attention ever since the dawn of the Industrial Revolution, and even before that, the dawn of agriculture but primarily the dawn of the Industrial Revolution, we have begun to destroy the networks of life and the networks of ecosystem that have been on Earth. We simply have taken it for granted now that's Everybody knows that. Some people deny that that's important and obviously, I'm I'm not speaking to them because, frankly, you really have to have your head in the sand and be not thinking critically. But thinking dogmatically. If you believe that the collapse of biodiversity and ecosystems around the planet is not a problem. You know, even if you are not really focused on the climate crisis, and for God's sakes, for any of you that are out there, please call it a crisis. It's not a change. Climate change make wasn't as a term that was invented by a conservative think tank to try to minimize the importance of the climate crisis that we face. I got a little sidetracked there. Basically, the catastrophic collapse of all of the ecosystems on earth is happening at a faster pace. Other than when we had asteroids hitting the planet, the change is faster in biological terms than any other single event throughout biological history on Earth, or the billions of years that life has been evolving. So here's the crux of the point. The point is, is that really the only way that we are going to save life on Earth as we know it to save our life is to have a new spirituality have a new religion, there. So religions are everywhere and everyone has their own particular view of religion and spirituality. And there is, you know, obviously a small subset of the population that consumes themselves non religious and non spiritual and purely empirical. But even that segment of the population tends to turn politics and economics into a kind of religion. So really the only way that we're going to be able to thrive or even survive in the midst of this transformation that this catastrophic change and collapse, which is building every year, is by having a new religion, a new spirituality. And here's the problem, that it doesn't exist yet. Most people adhere to a religion that's 2000 plus years old. Now that religion was consistent with the scientific understanding of its age of 2000 years ago, or more. And those precepts and principles were appropriate. For that timeframe for that scientific understanding, here's the thing that most people don't get. The religions of those times, were completely consistent with the scientific understanding of the day. Now, the miracles and the faith that our spoke of, we're still created in a context of, of a scientific understanding of the world that was of that era. So our new religion and our new spirituality is needs to be focused on two things. One is the sacred beauty and importance of holding up the interdependency of all life on Earth. That has to be number one. And then number two, is to hold up that sacred interdependence of all life, in the context of the vastness of the universe, in a Infinite size and infinite smallness and wild possibilities, that we're only beginning to scratch the surface of its its quantum nature, which so many people use in a very self serving way. But that's not the point. So the point is, is that our new religion and our new spirituality has to be based around two fundamental principles. One is is that all life is sacred. And the interconnectedness specifically the interconnectedness of all life should be held sacred, above all else, that interconnectedness. Now that doesn't mean that thou shalt not kill any life form. That's not how Nature, the god nature works. nature as God is an interplay of all things. And instead of putting God above putting man above nature, we put man in his place as part of nature. So, man, what needs to happen is a new religion that holds man as a co equal participant with the rest of nature. Now, man has this extra ability to foresee forecast and manipulate things in the future. Some animals have that to a limited degree, but we have that to a very high degree. So our we are in a special place in the tree of life. That power to manipulate has been misinterpreted by the old religions as Beat standing somehow above nature. So, what we need now is a new religion in which in a new spirituality, which holds our ability to manipulate the rest of nature as a fundamental stewardship role of stewarding ourselves, this artificial idea of somehow that nature and Spirit are separate, that needs to go away. Spirit and nature need to be seen as one in the same. Now that doesn't mean that you should follow every impulse that you have, because then you're going to fall prey to you know, bad habits and all kinds of vices that will ultimately lead to making bad decisions and more destruction. That does mean is that means that since you are nature since nature You are indivisible, then you must take into account your effect on the whole. Now here's another very important point, the, the old religions, were all centered around these very small tribal groups starting either in the Middle East or in India or China or in the Americas or in Africa. Every single one of those religions were centered around how my group is the chosen group, that all has to disappear to, there can be no one chosen group there can be no one idea about God and nature that is separate from the others. They all have to be consistent. So any belief structure that isn't consistent with All men and women, all humans are co equal participants in the web of life, and that all men and women, the beliefs of all men and women need to be the fundamental beliefs need to be in harmony with one another. There's always room for parochial differences. But the fundamental idea that one, we are all interconnected in the web of life and that web of life is sacred. And we have a spiritual responsibility to care for the web itself. Rather than just an individual, my garden or my tribe, or my brother, or my sister or my child, it has to be a we have a fundamental obligation to do the best we can for all living things. Now, that doesn't mean we need To be a monster and kill individuals, while we're, while we're striving to make the whole good, but it does mean that we need to consider the whole good first in our choices that we make. So, the technical solutions is what people focus on today, we have elevated economics and politics to in some instances, equal footing with spiritual and religious ideas. The fundamental problem with that is is that we are not rational beings. We are fundamentally emotional, tribal, spiritual beings can do nothing but see the world around us. As the world that is aligned with our deepest fundamental beliefs, so we have to start having the conversation we have to start leaning all of the big populations in the world towards an idea of spiritual unity, that you don't have to jettison your old religions, you do have to modify them. If there's anything in your old religion that says, my religion is right and your religion is wrong, when it pertains to these two fundamental factors, every religion has to agree that we are interdependent life forms on Earth, that our interdependent life on earth is intertwined with all living things. And that intertwined nature needs to be honored and respected. Above all else, not above being a good person and being kind and caring and compassionate, those are part of, of living a life that is seen as interdependent. So you don't have to jettison compassion and kindness. But what you do have to do is jettison the idea that man and nature are somehow separate. So any interpretation of spiritual beliefs that sees man and nature as separate, needs to be let go. And that's, unfortunately, many people aren't going to accept that. But those people will either destroy life on Earth as we know it, or they will be destroyed or they will become irrelevant. There's really no in between. They can be a small it's fine for those people to stay in our world. They just need to be a small subset that does not wield real economic, ecological and political power, they must have small amounts of power that are only related to their small parochial interests, because that truly is all they focus on. So, if you hold on to any site type of belief, that somehow you are separate from nature, that somehow you are above nature, you are part of the problem. So, the first thing to do is to let that go and what in whatever means you need to do that, if you need to go into a deep meditation or if you need to do scientific research, whatever it is, you have to embrace this idea that we are all interconnected that the the life the sum total of life on earth is us. It is not separate from us. And then, another key factor that we must Elevate is the idea that ecology ecosystems in their oldest form are our teachers. So the oldest, most pristine ecosystems on Earth, we need to study them. as sacred teachers, we need to follow their example of how they became what they are, and how they have sustained what they are over time. And we need to model ourselves in our society around those principles. And one of those principles is is maximum dial biodiversity within a certain bio region that has a stable balance between different entities. So the the tragedy of life on earth is the mass loss of biodiversity on Earth. It's been is the big story that no one's focusing on no one that most people aren't focusing on the, the wealth that has brought us to where we are, is directly correlated to the mass amount of biodiversity that has been stabilized on planet earth during the last hundred thousand years well during the last billions of years, but has allowed us to evolve into what we are over the last million years. So that brings up a fundamental concept if you're holding on to, or if you know someone who's holding on to an idea that somehow the truth is something that you need faith to follow. That is going it's ultimately not going to save us there's a way that it can save us that can Save life as we know it. And that is that that faith has to be a faith in our ability to work together to find solutions, and to serve this common good, in which we honor all life forms in the internet, specifically the interconnectedness of all life forms, the wisdom of ancient ecosystems, and then combining that with the vast universal possibilities of, of all of the combinations of matter and energy that exists throughout the universe. You know, there is a possible scenario where we technologically turn ourselves into a technical ecosystem in which everything that happens on earth becomes a technical man manage to thing like a greenhouse. But in that moment, we lose our biology. In that moment, we lose the sacredness of our life and become a social technical entity, we literally lose the foundation of our spiritual natural nature and will become an evolved into something else. Personally, I don't want to go down that route, I would much rather see the natural ecosystems of the earth take their rightful place, as the elders in our society, who are to teach us how to move forward in a way that has us retain our nature, rather than being cast into a techno sphere where we all are beholden to some imperfect leaders, and societal norms, which control our fates. And that's really where we're headed. We're really headed to a place where nature no longer We're our nature is destroyed and we become source or some sort of techno, eco political entity. So the the scary bigger picture is is that right now we rely upon an unconscious natural feed of our subconscious which holds all that we find dear and amazing about human beings it is the fundamental nature of who we are and that will be lost. And so we have to create a spiritual religious structure that calls all of us to begin to shift from this place of tribal identities and ancient religions that that really focus on our tribal differences to a cohesive spirit spiritual religious group. That cohesive spiritual religious group can have a huge amount it can be a federation of spirituality so you can have a huge amount of leeway. It need only honor a few basic principles. And I'll say them is simply and precisely as I can want, all life is this interdependence of all life is sacred. All life in and of itself is sacred regardless event of economic value. And under in parentheses under that, that does not mean that you do not take life in any form, because that is simply not the way nature works. It works in a balance. And that does not mean that you become a moral and that you don't follow your heart and your moral judgments because your moral compass and your heart and your judgments and the mythologies of all time, are a product of nature, mythologies and religions are true in this sense. They are true That they reveal the deeper subconscious spiritual meaning of your life. And then you can attach your individual tribal symbols on top of that. But that's not the ultimate truth. The ultimate truth is that every one of these seemingly conflicting religions hold a key thread of truth. And those key threads of truth or what we need to focus on, not the differences, the differences will always be a source of tension, and they should be managed, not embraced. So that's number one. Number two, is, is that the nature of reality in the grand cosmic scheme of things, is truly infinite, and is truly most likely unknowable and will never fully be known by the man of mind. By the mind of man. We are limited in our cup capacity, we there's already much talk about how AI is going to overtake our understanding of all things. And we need to prepare for that day and be ready to deal with those consequences. That is a whole other scary topic, which I'm not going to talk about here. First, we have to figure out if we can truly survive on earth, and then we'll be able to well, concurrently we need to figure out how to manage AI so that it doesn't take over the decision making process of humans. Because again, like I said, we run the risk of turning into a techno sphere in which our fundamental natural spirituality is lost, and we become technological beings. Now, the pundits and the critics will say, like, oh, that'll never happen. But Mark my words, it is happening already. And the only thing that will protect it is a deep spiritual value of the independent sacredness of life and how It, how it lives on earth separate of ourselves, the more we go down the path of trying to manage all nature, the more we will destroy ourselves and we will destroy it. So, number one, interdependence of all life is sacred, to the infinite vastness of the universe is a fundamental part of the equation. We are part of an infinite universe with infinite possibilities, there are infinite possibilities. And an addendum to number two is we need simply to learn how to honor the wisdom of ecosystems, the wisdom of the interdependence of all life, at the same time, that we are learning and discovering new mysteries of the universe. So we hold both of them up with equal, not even equal, I would say that for us to retain our fundamental essence of spiritual religious, that that which we believe ourselves to create us and to call us human, we have to hold the interconnectedness of all life, the natural systems on the earth higher in higher regard than the techno sphere, that techno sphere needs to take second place. Along with that we do not need to be a moral. It's not about being a moral. It's about seeing and understanding that the morality, which you experience deeply as right and wrong, some people don't experience that morality, I'm not speaking to them. They are a whole other problem which will deal with in different topics of conversation. But for those of you that experience a morality that are not trapped in a victim ideology, that morality is a product of your nature, the billions of year old life that has come before you that has evolved into You it brought with it a set of symbols and unconscious values. Those didn't. Those are not granted by some ethereal separate entity that we call God. That's a separate thing outside of ourselves that blasted us with this separate consciousness or blasted us from the outside with some alien consciousness. None of that is real, what is real? Now there may be elements of the universe and there may be elements of alien material and matter and life that has come into our world, but those are not primary. They are secondary. Primary is what we are as Earthlings is our primary relationship to the earth that Earth being our mother, you know, we've all heard that. But the more we embrace truly the idea that the earth is our mother and we shall protect her selfless giving mother we shall protect her with all that we have from a spiritual religious place, not from a political or economic or selfish place. It has to be an altruistic place that sees the whole, and sacrifices the self for the whole, all religious and spiritual evolution demands individual sacrifice. So that in and of itself would be the moral foundation that the Earth has bestowed upon you. The earth is saying, thou shalt transcend your individual greed, for the greater good and that greater good can no longer be the try. It can no longer be the nation, it can no longer be the family, you can hold the greater good and all of those things hold those greater goods, but those greater goods need to be consistent with the greatest good of life on Earth, which is that all life is sacred and all life is interdependent. And then The wisdom of ecosystems is above all else, our guide to how to live in a way that sustains and is truly sustainable. So this idea of sustainability has gotten so mucked up and and turned into corporate propaganda and catchphrases for people who want to justify spending tons of money on consumer goods while they bring plastic reusable bags to the store. Sustainability truly is, it is no longer just sustainability. Sustainability has to be generative. It has to generate more life than it takes. Because we are in such a downward spiral of taking life taking biodiversity, destroying the foundation of what we are in, we have to recreate this idea of sustainability to be one of generation and I specifically don't say regeneration because we will never regenerate to where we were. We will generate a new normal if we survive a new norm. That calls forth a new vitality a new thriving in these new old growth ecosystems to take charge of the natural environment in which we become the Stewart's there is no reason that we don't have armies of people inside ecosystems and in destroying ecosystems which do everything in their power to create an interdependent life between those ecosystems and people. That's what we don't do. What we do is we take from the ecosystem, thinking falsely that it is the only way for people to thrive, it is completely not the only way to survive. One of the greatest examples of that is fair wild. So fair wild is going around the world and creating sustainable, truly sustainable ways. Obviously, there's going to be some impact on the land but truly sustainable ways to increase the biodiversity while harvesting medicine while harvesting products that does not destroy ecosystems on which they rely moving. Back in a sense to a relationship of each bioregion where each community had a sacred responsibility to enhance the life of each bioregion. When it comes to tribalism, this is the only valid tribalism. The only valid tribalism is that each individual community takes responsibility for its bio region and creates a way of living an economy, an economy that is based on a spiritual practice, which gives back to the land at the same time that it gives to the individuals into the community. So the third principle is that ecological wisdom stands above technological wisdom. I think that's enough for now. The the differences between different belief structures people always get stuck on this You must not focus on them. You must only focus on these three, to begin with these three fundamental principles, that the interdependence and sacredness of all life, that the wisdom of the ecosystem should be held as the path forward, and that we as stewards of the earth should co create vitality and abundance with these ecosystems, not against them. And that is entirely possible and simply, the only challenge is is a lack of imagination, the infinite possibilities of the universe and the infinite combinations of matter. And our combined with our creative intellect, mix. It's limitless, the possibilities. Thank you. Thank you for listening. If you please send me questions. If you've gotten value out of this, please support scribe and have a wonderful day and hit the notification bell. notification, vacation vacation. Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Today I'd like to talk about what it takes to truly change. Most people don't want to talk about it, because most people don't truly want to change. But most of us want, myself included. I'm not enlightened or anything. What we all want is we want to take our same feelings, our same emotions, our same desires, our same ideas into what we consider to be this new realm, where we're where we have more of the things that we want, where we become more of the person that we want to become But in reality, the only way to truly change yourself or anyone else is to go through a death process. Now death, you know, it's the it's the big issue with humans. We're all aware of our own death and we have 10,000 different ways that we deal with it with many different religions, and many different ideas and philosophies and politics and communities. But most of us who seek any type of change, are unwilling to go through the death cycle to get there. The painful truth is, is that if you want To truly change for good in a way that's going to potentially yield, what you want the change and being or the change in circumstance that you want. If you want to become a billionaire, or if you want to become a political leader, or if you want an amazing relationship, or if you want an outstanding sex life, if you want optimum health, whatever it is, you have to die. And that's the thing that you can actually begin to get better at being willing to face death is the beginning of true transformation. Now when I say death, I don't mean physical dying, because you can have religious belief in which you You see that death is not the end, and believe that when you die, you're going to change and go to another plane, or you know go to heaven or being reincarnated or whatever your particular flavor is. That's not death. True death comes from facing annihilation. So that means facing zero. So if you practice facing annihilation, facing the point at which, sort of in the sand in the fantasy genre they would, there would be sort of monsters that would take your soul and extinguish it. So if you're willing to face or if you practice being willing to face extinction, annihilation, total dissolution, then you'll be better able to make the true changes in your life. That will accomplish what you are seeking. So really that's the core of this talk is that in order to have a true change, and it really doesn't matter how small the changes, the more you practice being okay with Total Annihilation, and that may mean letting go of your family, letting go of that which you hold most dear. The stories throughout the ages are filled with stories of which you have to let go that which you hold most precious in order to save the world or save your humanity or save the community or save life. So Practice facing total annihilation. You are facing an annihilation of your identity. So when I was about 15 years ago? Yeah, no, that was 10 years ago, about 10 years ago. I know that was 15 years ago. I apologize. 15 years ago, I was faced with the opportunity to go live with a wild tribe in the mountainous Amazon region of Peru, which was something that in my youth, I always, always but for many years I had strived to because I had identified with that, that wild life that was completely immersed in nature in which nature was our whole world. that opportunity. And I was getting ready to make that I was making the decision of whether I was going to do that or not. And something happens inside of me welled up. Because I knew in my intuition and in my deep insight that if I went into that forest, my goal was to stay there for at least six months, at least, a seasonal change, if not a year, six months to a year, a full solar cycle, or at least half a solar cycle. If I did that, I knew deep down inside that, me as I knew myself with my likes, and my preferences and my desires and all the things that I wanted to do, that person was going to die in that forest and somebody else was going to come out. So that moment in time, I chose not to go in there. Now I'm not saying that that was the wrong choice. I'm just saying that I wasn't willing to die. And I had more that I wanted to do in this identity in This identity that had the preferences that still wanted to have kids that still wanted to, you know, have a career, still wanted to surf the world still wanted to have some of the youthful desires that still lived inside of me. So what I'm saying is, is that when you're confronted with a true transformation, you will be faced with a very difficult choice to let go of something that you've previously wanted. And that's the big question. The big question is, what can you let go of what are you willing to let go of, in order to find this new place where you say you want to live and another painful truth that we all need to acknowledge is that usually probably most of The time we don't really want what we say we want. We're addicted to the conversation about going and getting what we want. Because that makes us feel consistent in who we know ourselves to be even if that's a painful place. The pain is a surface level pain that covers up a deep sense of security in knowing who we are. It's much more painful to let go of who you know yourself to be, then to experience the surface level emotional pain of staying where you are. Most people never get past that point. So if you truly want to create a new life that is fundamentally new, not just window dressing upon the existing life, but actually is a deep fundamental transformation which will get you you know, the presidency. Or which will get you the wealth at the high high level that you desire or will get you the freedom to accomplish your deepest desires of transcendence or your deepest desires of adventure, or your deepest desires of love and connection, or sexual fulfillment. Any of those things, if they're lacking in your current life, you will have to undergo some sort of death process which fundamentally involves letting go of something that you're holding on to. Now, that doesn't have to happen overnight. You just have to start meditating on that death. On that release, you have to completely let go. Now this is an important important conversation to have right now. Because in our you know, we are Earthlings. We are bound to the earth whether I don't care what all the religious context say you are an Earthling. I am an Earthling, we are creatures that came out of this beautiful blue marble. inside of that blue marble, we are bound to the blue marble cycles. And we are bound to the cycles of the solar system in relationship to this marble. So one of the biggest cycles that we face is the spiral of the Sun around the Earth and the seasonal flow. And an interesting cool way that I like to think about it is it's not it's not a circle. It's a spiral because we're literally catapulting out into space in a circular pattern. So if you think about it, it's like, like a vortex or a tornado. So nature mimics itself all over the place. So you're spiraling still through space. So you, you're kind of returned to the same place, but it's a totally different place a little farther out just in the similar sort of feeling of the earth boundedness of it. So right now is today is the 23rd. And the 21st is when the day stopped getting shorter, and then the days will really start lengthening on the today's the 24th sorry, today's the 24th the days will start lengthening tomorrow. Tomorrow is the birth of the sun. Tomorrow is the birth of the light. The Christians like to think that Jesus is the only symbol that is the birth of the light, but he is one of many that was pre that many, many came before him. But that's another story and another topic doesn't matter what your metaphor is, what your chosen belief structure is as long as you are willing to face total annihilation. If you want to believe in heaven, that's fine believe in heaven, but also practice letting it all go. Practice Letting go of everything and facing total annihilation. And then if you get if you get to heaven, you're so much more ready for it. So this is the time to confront the demons that you're holding on to, to dig deeper, you know, don't get hammered, don't go unconscious. I've fall prey to that almost every holiday but I've just begin to just be gone. Or no, that's not true. I'm I'm in the final stages of purging the negative, narcissistic relationships from my life. So I now finally have the space to actually dig deep into this personal transformation which occurs in this time of the year. Which is possible it doesn't necessarily occur, it's possible. What will happen for many people is it will mutate into a dark form. So what happens is people who are unwilling to make that Dig deep and to see what they need to let go of it this time of year, they will carry that into the new light place. And then they will go completely dark and literally dive into a dark space in order to in order to hold on to all of those things that they're unwilling to let go of. So now is the time to really see it's a very powerful time to see and let go of all of those things that are in your space right now that are blocking you. And it looks like confronting death. It looks like confronting annihilation, not death because death is so many weird things to people but annihilation, you must practice facing annihilation. And one of the ways to practice facing annihilation is to simply list out things you're attached to that you're willing to begin the process of letting go. Just start when you put something on paper, something out chemical happens in your brain, it takes it out of your brain and into a work of art or a structure or system or a business practice. Those are all the same things you're creating in the world, once you start creating in the world with those things that you're transcending and moving from and to, then that has, you know, statistically, with studies that they've done very simple studies that they've done, you have your 90 plus percent more likely to accomplish your goals if you simply write down what you are, have been unwilling to let go of up to this point. So that's what there is to do. Now, once you've done all that, then tomorrow, whatever day it is for you, I would give it a 24 hour period. So you let go write down everything you're going to let go and then the next day, open up and start to create something new. You can even wait longer Just don't forget to do it. Because if you let go and then you don't have anything that you're running towards, you'll kind of go in this amorphous place which you can get lost which is kind of dangerous. It's like the Bardo, the place between worlds you don't want to stay in the body you need to get out of the Bardo. The Bardo has its own seduction kind of wants to put you to sleep. So you want to not be in that sleep state you want to wake up. So you may need people to help you. That brings me to the I'd like to close on this. Don't try to do these things alone. Throughout history throughout time. There are reasons that the archetype of the sage of the mentor of the master are persistent that they don't go away. We all need that in our life. We all have to have entities outside ourselves that hold space for us. When we go in you know, nobody goes into Well, a few people do but they're very reckless. I lost the ceremonies or a bogus ceremonies or, or deep deep transformational work without a guide. So when you're doing this, this is deep transformational work you need a guide doesn't have to be a professional just has to be someone That has made some transcendent progress in the realms that you're seeking, or has a way of being that has transcended towards from something to something that you admire. That you know, can hold space. There are few and far between. But I suspect the not I suspect, I truly believe and this is a superstition of mine, I'll fully acknowledge that that, you know, when the student is ready, the teacher will call them I complained for years. After I got rid of my old character, I transcended my old teachers, that I couldn't find a new one. And it took me a number of crises, to find a new one and he came in a form that I was completely not expecting. So but I was ready. I was ready to start letting that part of myself die that I was holding on to and to embrace something new. So good luck. As always, please send me your questions I will do everything in my power to help you in your transition, and your transformation and you creating what you want to create in the world. I do have to say with one caveat, I will only work with people who truly want to make the world a better place, and who know that we have to look out for all people and all of life on Earth. We have to win those of us who care about the earth, those of us who care about other people, those of us who truly are willing and able to transcend at least some of our personal satisfaction in order to help the rest of the world get where they're going. So I hope you're on that journey. And please, if this is valuable for you, subscribe, press the notification bell visit the website, one The live.net sign up for the email list. And best of luck, I wish you all of the light and power and beautiful transition that is inherently possible in this time of year. Transcribed by https://otter.ai Photo by Luke Southern on Unsplash
In this Episode I will teach you how to identify Dangerous Narcissists and deal with them. Please send me questions and I will address them in future content. Here is the transcription of the audio. It has errors ai generated. Mike Stokes Wildlife education. today's podcast is how to deal with narcissists. So first, there's a lot of ideas about what a narcissist is. And so I'm going to make it moderately clinical and more appropriate for a layman's understanding. a narcissist is a very tactical term in psychology. And I think for most of us, that's kind of irrelevant. If you're a psychologist and you're dealing with very specific types of personality disorders, and you're trying to help them through those particular disorders, then it's very useful, but in our own life, and how to deal with the narcissists in our life. It's important it's not important. What's more important is to recognize whether someone is dangerous to you or not. So the easiest way that you can define a narcissist is someone who lacks the ability to empathize, truly empathize and act on that empathy in a way that sort of puts themselves in your shoes. That's kind of the bottom line. Now I'm going to use narcissist in sort of the term in the broad sense that most people use narcissist and that's, that's really anybody who does that. Again, like I said, nice narcissists are very defined subset. What I'm mainly going to talk about today is how to deal with what are called in the technical term is a cluster B personality. And a cluster B personality is someone who again lacks that capacity to empathize with your feelings. Me seem like they do, but in reality, they really don't. So, you know, there's people who are antisocial that would fall into that category. There's people who are volatile personalities, they would fall into that category. There's what we what the, what's called in the psychological literature, the borderline personality that would fall into that personality into that, that group and then the narcissist so I don't want to get into all the distinctions of all those because I really don't think they're helpful. But what's really important is how do you deal with one of these people that truly lacks the capacity for empathy. So, just a little bit about my experience in this realm. I have always been a very special wear my heart on my sleeve kind of person, open my heart to everybody. And for many years in the beginning of my personal development, growth world, what I did was just constantly open, open, open, open. And that had a huge amount of benefit, but one of the side effects is is that when you crack yourself that far open, you allow predatory narcissists into your life. So I allowed a coach into my life he was a predatory narcissist, and he you know, took advantage of my labor in the way you can tell you're with a narcissist is that you hurt yourself or they hurt you. And somehow it's justified or somehow it's glossed over somehow it's a thought of not thought of as not important. You know, when I was with this coach, I believe out my lower back I ruptured l four l five in the desk and got a slip desk by helping him in his work. Now, I can't blame that on him. And that's not the point. The point is to not blame narcissists for your life issues. The point is to know notice when you're likely to get in destructive situations when you're around certain people. And then fast forward. I have a family member who is married to a narcissist and he was a very wealthy man, a multi millionaire, and now he's basically living hand to mouth. First thing you need to do when you're dealing with a narcissist is you've got to identify them. That's the hardest part in the beginning, when I was waking up to the world of narcissists, you know, it's easy when you see you know, a political rival or a foreign country and you're just demonizing them, but when you've left Somebody's into your heart and you're really trying to have a relationship with them, or you admire them, or they have something that you want that more sticky. The challenge is, is to see the narcissist for what they are. Because what narcissists do is they make you feel like you need them, they make you feel you're attracted to them. They're all charismatic in one way or another, even though the volatile personalities are charismatic in one way or another. So there's this balancing act between you discovering your tendencies that draw you into narcissists webs, and what they're doing. And it's really important that we all recognize that we have narcissistic tendencies in ourself, we all have the tendency to want everything to be about us. We all want to talk about our problems and our accomplishments, but the narcissist That. So let me just say it this way there's there's what I call a red line. And the red line is the line between narcissistic tendencies, and dangerous narcissist. and dangerous narcissists will take those focus on self and take him to an extreme level that harms other people, and they'll justify them in their thinking in their actions. So if you've ever had the experience, like another very, very important point is that we all have a certain level of self confidence. Now there's two types of self confidence there's a false self confidence, which is a mask for a deep insecurity. And that's what you'll see in the narcissist. And what you'll notice if you become a little bit emotionally adept is you'll notice that they there's something about their confidence that feels just slightly off to you. I don't really want to talk about politics. But, you know, the truth is, is that we have a narcissistic president. Now he's a genius when it comes to social manipulation, and how to spin narratives so that people will be drawn to him his particular tribe. But if you really pay attention to what's underlying all that, it's actually really obvious in his case, that all of the bravado covers up a very, very deep insecurity. So his, you know, being the president, the United States is a reaction to this deep insecurity. So what we need to do while we're identifying these narcissists in our life is to start building our own sense of deep self confidence and deep self confidence does is it's quiet, it doesn't need reassurance from the outside world. What it needs is it needs you to go in and discover the deep parts of yourself that are truly authentically Power, places for you. So when I was drawing these narcissists into my life, I also had a deep insecurity that manifested itself in sort of wanting to be in the lives of these people because I would feel like I was more than I was when I was around these people that either made me feel better about myself or made me feel better because I was in association with someone who was powerful. So for me, I had lots of narratives and stories when I was younger about how I wasn't strong enough, and how I wasn't manly enough, and how I wasn't good looking enough. There was a lot of just I wasn't enough. And then over many, many years of reading and seminars and meditation and personal challenges and activities and hobbies, I slowly began to discover my deep power which had nothing to do with manliness. had nothing to do with so called strength in modern cultural context. My power came from sort of a deep intelligence of deep wisdom, a deep willingness to question my own assumptions and connection to nature and an ability to use my hands. So it took me years to figure all that out. But once I figured all that out, then I was able to really start to exercise the narcissists in my life. Another way to think about a narcissist is they truly are vampires. narcissists lack a fundamental root to their own core confidence, and you could say the earth and by lacking that route, they create an image around themselves that justifies who they are know we all do that to a certain degree but again narcissists take it dangerous narcissists take it to a level that harms other people. We're all we all go back and forth will sort of, say something that's mean to somebody or do something that doesn't help somebody else or that's harmful. But a Narcissus really can't get out a dangerous narcissist really can't get out of that pattern. So a way to identify a dangerous narcissist is that not only will the conversation always sort of spin back to their narrative or spin back to what they want to talk about, it'll also make you feel just a little bit depleted at times. So what they do is they kind of suck energy out of you and then when they notice that you're about to bolt, or that they don't have a strong enough control over you, then they'll feel backup. For example, there's a lot of sort of narcissistic men or women. In this case, I want to talk about people who marry others. So if you let's say you don't have a marriage contract, and then you marry a narcissist. And let's say that Narcissus now has a strong financial control over what's going to happen when you divorce. What typically happens is that narcissist will begin to take away all of the things that they gave you that were all of the things that you sort of married them for in the first place, all of the ego boosting, things that they sort of gave you in the beginning, they'll pull those all away and just start taking. Because for a narcissist, what they're doing is they're feeding their raw, Wounded Child inside of them. There's almost always some sort of abuse that happened in their childhood. It's either emotional or physical abuse or the parent was a credibly was not incredibly but it was some sort of knowledge asst themselves and removed the emotional attention or made the emotional attention of the child dependent upon their fulfilling their own narcissistic needs. So then the child learns that the only way that they can survive in this environment is to do the exact same thing. So they go to battle narcissistically with their parents, and then they get they start to get the feed, that's the parents not giving them. So once a narcissist gains control over you, then they begin to extract more like a vampire. Once the vampire has you locked in there, they've seduced you, then they begin to draw your energy out of you. But there's always a seduction phase. So seduction doesn't have to look sexual. It can be emotional, it can be financial, it could be many different levels. It can be mental, it could be you know, the guru who says all the things that sort of make you feel like you're having a transcendent experience. In your mind, but a narcissist is fundamentally about control. So a way to identify them is you'll feel like if you do something so let me let me backtrack. And just let me let me start that over. The way to identify the best way to identify a narcissist is to try to have some sort of conflict resolution with them. So if you're, let's say, you know that there's something that they don't want, and you're coming in to the situation with 100% commitment to make sure that they get some of their needs met, and you get some of your needs met. If you're interacting with a narcissist or, like I said, the spectrum of cluster B personality disorders where they can't actually empathize with you. What you'll notice is is the moment that you make a firm commitments like I am going to hold a boundary so that my needs get met. I'm not going to try to trample on your needs, Mr. Mrs. narcissist, I'm just going to make sure that my needs get met. I'll hear what you have to say. But I'm not going to let you take something that's vitally important to me. Well, you'll notice in that moment is is that they will put your relationship on the chopping block, they will be willing they will they will be willing to leave. They'll threaten you. They'll be know what what Narcissus truly lack is the capacity to have any type of conciliatory conflict resolution. So that's the bottom line. The bottom line is that a narcissist can't do conflict resolution. So that's really your litmus test. If you're trapped in relationships that feel like you know you're listening to this audio because you're sort of hearing about this narcissist thing and think that you might be engaged with Narcissus in your life. It could be your bosses, they could be your co workers, that could be your neighbor that could be your wife that could be your child as well but that would be primarily because either you or the other person in your in your family. You're up your partner is a narcissist or whoever your child spends the most time with. So it could be the point is it could be anybody. So the best way to identify a narcissist there's there's all kinds of clues, but the best way to identify him is to have the courage to try to, to, to engage in a conversation where you're truly going to work at conflict resolution, and you're not going to let them take you over. And when you do that, then they will become a problem. they'll move from someone who you thought you've made excuses for. So what a narcissist typically does, is they'll they'll make you feel like you need to justify their behavior. And you really only start to see their bad behavior once you're completely out of the narcissistic pattern. So again, you really need that To start looking at your own spectrum of narcissism, we all are on the spectrum of the Narcissus. We all want to be the center of attention to one degree or another, even if we're introverts, and we say we don't be like being around people, there's some way that that introversion is a way that we get to keep our attention focused on ourselves. So we all like that. But the red line is that a narcissist hurts other people. In order to keep that center of attention, no matter what it takes, they'll keep themselves as the center of attention. Now, they'll let the the let the, the center drift. It doesn't have to be that they don't have to be the center of attention 100% of the time, but in the more they're, like I said, the spectrum The farther they are on the spectrum of narcissists in any of those cluster B personalities, the more the attention will need to be centered on them. The farther away from the the spectrum of narcissists that dangerous Narcissus that they are then the last they'll need to be the center. Room attention. But still dangerous narcissists will go back and forth, they'll let you be the Center for a while, and then they'll take the center back, or when what you'll notice is, is that a narcissist will either subtly demean you, or they will pick a fight with you. Or they'll make sure that you bring the attention back to their problems. Now, technically, the the Narcissus that brings your attention back to their problems. It's not really a narcissist. That's a heuristic. So different, different category for that, but it's really not important. What's important is is to start to identify those people that can not truly empathize with you. Now the weird thing is, is with the borderlines so borderlines are the type of Narcissus that's a very it's the most dangerous in my opinion, because they're extremely covert. They put up in a credibly powerful facade and they're very charismatic in their own way. A lot of times you'll find that these borderlines they have this way with strangers. So strangers will feel charmed and enlightened. And so they, when you're around them in some, the ones that are extroverts, when you're around them and groups of people, they will sort of lighten up the group at first. But what happens is, is the longer you interact with one of these types of borderlines, the more intimate you become with them, then the more destructive and dangerous it becomes, it's just cycles down this pattern flow. So when that happens, then you know that you're with a full fledged borderline and a borderline will, will flatter you, they'll make you feel like a million dollars. And then when so that what they do is they'll they'll create a fantasy image of you, and then they'll put you in this fantasy image. And then when ultimately you don't live up to that fantasy image that they put you in, then they'll tear you down. Now the thing about that is they'll only do that that in the context of which they're not socially outed. So if if if you put a public eye on a borderline narcissist, they will fade away they'll either disappear from your life or they'll try a different strategy. So the best way well the best way so I want to shift now on a shift now to How to Deal once you've identified that you have a narcissist in your life. How do you then deal with that? Narcissus? most common mistake that I see with people who deal with narcissists who are locked in parenting arrangements who are married to them, who are live next door to them who that it is their boss or it is their co worker. The most common mistake that I see is people are mostly reluctant to disengage. And it's because when you're a cone, you're a kind, compassionate person, you have an identity, you have an image of yourself That says I'm not the type of person that bails on people. I'm not the type of person that gives up on people. And that is the problem because that's what the narcissist depends on. The narcissist depends on you forgiving them again and again and again no matter how bad their behavior becomes. And once you so here's the thing that like I said before, you can't negotiate with them. Once you're with a narcissist who is a red line narcissist, a dangerous narcissist. If you try to negotiate with them, what you'll find is, you may feel like you've had a successful negotiation in one moment. And then the next day when you wake up and you're like, wow, that was really great. I'm so glad that we resolved some of those issues. You'll be like, they'll be like well, I I'm you know, I don't I I'm not sure exactly what you're talking about. But I really feel like we need to go to the laundromat today because I need to do laundry and and you are sitting here wanting to have breakfast like they'll either pick another fight or spin some sort of justification or they'll They'll make it impossible for you to follow their train of thought. And so then again, when when they do that they're in control the situation again so you can't actually negotiate with the red line Narcissus so the red line narcissists, and I'm using this now so the term that I'm using for a dangerous narcissist a red line, a narcissist who's passed the red line let's just call him a red line narcissist from now on a red line narcissist needs to be out of your life and that's really the bottom line. So if the red line if you can't get the red line narcissist out of your life, which let's say you're co parenting with one if you're co parenting with a red line narcissist, what you need to do when they try because a nurse a redline Narcissus will pick fights with you, when you stop giving them what they want. They pick fights with you, they don't the resolution is not part of their makeup. They don't have that. So when they try to pick a fight with you, and when they pick a fight with you, they pick a fight with you in order to get a blast of energy, which makes feel justified inside makes them fills that hole of insecurity, that they're masking with these layers of justification with these layers of taking from others, either financially, emotionally or mentally or ideas or belief structures. When they engage in a fight and they win that fight, they get up, they get a temporary relief from the depalo pain that they feel. I lost my train of thought there's probably a more important idea coming. So once they get that hit of energy, that's really the whole point for the narcissist. And again, it's so important to to acknowledge that you have narcissistic tendencies to that everyone on Earth has narcissistic tendencies. You want to be writing conversation I want to be writing conversation. But you keep if you are you know you can you can develop if you're not so far gone, that you can't actually deal with the the deep, deep wound that's in you, then you can develop and become less of a narcissist and more of a compassionate, powerful and productive person in your own right, that sees him or herself as an authentic source of power and good in the world. The more more you can do that, so you're on that spectrum you do that then the more you're going to see these in our system or get them out of your life. So back to what to do. So the biggest mistake people make is that they don't disengage they stay. It is really like exercising a vampire. And, you know, there's a reason that in mythology and archetypes that vampires are so hard to kill Really if you adopt the metaphor of a vampire that is the narcissist so the narcissist needs to either be metaphorically would stake through the heart they need to have their head chopped off. They you know you need to have Garland's of garlic when you know garlic was thought to be an incredibly vital enhancing herb so the reason that the imagery of garlic around your neck around your house was that that would enhance your internal vitality so that you could then do battle with the the narcissist that's trying to take your energy. And so one of the most important the first strategy is always to one not invent invite the vampire narcissist into your house in the first place. Your house is your life to to not willingly go into to their house into their life. So number one with a vampire is a vampire narcissist is you stay out, you do not engage. That's the best way to deal with him. And what happens is what would happen with a vampire. As a vampire stops being able to draw the blood of his victims or her victims, she grows progressively weaker. So the same thing with a narcissist. As the narcissist is unable to take emotional power from you or to take financial power from you or to take mental energy from you. They grow weaker. Now what unfortunately in the modern world, there's so many victims that what will happen is is if you cut completely with a narcissist, what they'll do is they'll shift to another victim, just like a vampire, they'll shift to another victim and go suck their emotional, physical and mental energy to fill their void. So number one, is to keep them out of your life. Number two Is to exercise them if you haven't if you've let them in which you probably have or you wouldn't be listening to this, you gotta exercise. Now. exorcisms aren't pretty. They're super, super ugly. You know, the exorcist is a great metaphor for the old movie. The Exorcist is a great metaphor for what it what it actually takes to get a narcissist out of your life, or even to get rid of the the narcissistic tendencies in you. To get rid of the narcissistic tendencies in you in a way and metaphorically, you need to be strapped to the bed like you're in prison while you're watching while that starved Black Snake Moan it's another great archetypal movie about what it takes to starve. A volatile personality, a succubus narcissist that has fed and prey on the energy of men. So The point is, is that when you're trying to get a narcissist out of your life, there's not really any way it's not going to be ugly. The only way it's not going to be ugly is if your ties to them were not that deep, and you simply remove yourself. So continuing into that strategy, the best way to deal with a narcissist is to identify them and then be to move to quit the job. If you're getting a divorce, you got a plan on it being messy, you should get guidance from an attorney and a therapist who knows how to deal with narcissists. The best way to deal with that narcissist inside of those conflicts is most people don't actually I found this when I was trying to get support. Most people don't know how to deal with them. The best way to deal with them is to there's this new idea that I saw on a Cora posts it's not a new idea, but it's the way they articulated it's great. They call it gray rocking it Which you give them no energy, whenever they try to pick a fight with you, you just shut down your site, you just agree with them. And that's fine. But you can only do that for so long until it fully depletes your energy. So you got to be doing that while you're getting yourself out of the situation while you're quitting your job. So that's the big difference. If you just stay and you know, deadpan somebody and just agree with them about everything that they do, they're going to get worse and worse and worse and take more and more and more until there's none of you left. So you can't just do that you have to do that. And then pull yourself out at the same time. So while you pull yourself out, then then you at the same time you have to be dealing with your own arcinfo. In the beginning, actually, I would not worry about dealing with your own narcissistic tendencies in the beginning just to get free. Just get out. Don't worry about what your responsibility is in the relationship because that's what they're counting on. What they're counting on. Is you feel guilty about standing up for yourself so that then they could come back in and get their hooks into you again. So you just keep pulling yourself out. And just, you know, if you need to demonize them in the beginning, that is fine. I needed to demonize the people that were narcissists in my life for probably a year or two. And I wasn't consciously calling them names, but I needed to hold them in an image in my mind that they were dangerous, and that I wasn't really going to start I mean, I couldn't help it. I looked at my own stuff, but I spent more energy just getting them out of my life. So what that looked like for me was was big family Rouse where I tried to negotiate and then realize there was no negotiation I did that twice. And then interactions with people in my home site where I had to just hire a lawyer or and hold the boundary with as little emotional energy as possible, because a lot of times what it's going to feel like and what it felt like for me, it's going to be one of the most stressful things. For me it was the one of the most stressful things I had ever taken on was exercising a narcissist from my life. They literally will attacked me and will attack you. If they're if they're past the red line, they will attack you with no remorse, and all of their attacks. And here's the really interesting thing, the narrative that you'll hear them spin, they'll say, it won't. These won't be the words, but this is what the words really are. The narrative that they spend is Why did you make me hurt you? You are making me hurt you stop making me hurt you. That is their narrative. So their narrative is that you're responsible for their pain and you're responsible for their abuse of you. Another big underlying point. Now again, we're all on a spectrum with in terms of taking responsibility for our life. There's all we all have parts that we don't take responsibility for and we all have parts that we do take responsibility for. But narcissists pass the red line doesn't have that capacity. They spin narratives that actually trick them into thinking that they're taking responsibility when they don't know again, we all do that to a certain degree but a narcissist with their lack of ability to feel the pain that they caused others will see in the in their sort of mental isolation. They may be out in the world with people but they're completely mentally isolated within their own head. Their mental and emotional isolation will cause them to continue to spin this narrative that makes them more and more righteous. You know narcissist I think the I forget what the status but sociopaths murderers, hardcore criminals, almost all of them are narcissists, not to mention CEOs and presidents of that sort now there's there is a positive narcissist now positive narcissist is A very very rare bird. It's kind of like an enlightened master. So in a way and enlightened master is a narcissist, but their their focus, their internal focus is tempered with a deep compassion for the suffering of the world. So the best way to get rid of the narcissist is to get out of their life. And then here's the mistake, you're going here's another mistake, you're going to want to get revenge. You're going to want to, quote unquote, hold them accountable to their actions. You can totally do that. But here's the deal. narcissists. Those people that are the real, the borderlines, the the the social isolators not not so much the ones that are just the poor means that are kind of constantly complaining about their own life. The ones that are the that are really fight you. They're way better at fighting you If you are truly the type of person who's compassionate, and who can feel the energy of others, a narcissist doesn't have to deal with that. They're like the bad guy in the movies, who will just go around killing everybody and feel nothing. So if you go to battle with a narcissist, you have to be ready to fight. Literally to the death, you know, the only thing a narcissist understands is that you're going to take this all the way to the end, you're going to take this to your deathbed or you're going to win. That's the only time they back down. Now the problem with that is is that you may have to dedicate your whole life to winning. And if that's the life that empowers you, then I say by all means, go for it. We need to defeat more Narcissus, but for the vast majority of us, we have better things to do with our time. You know if you're, if your battle is to fight the narcis the destructive narcissism of Donald Trump by all means means dedicate your life to it and take him out, take him out so that he's socially ostracized and could do more damage to our world to the planet you know, you know someone who's literally killing life on Earth faster than anyone else by setting an example of ignoring the energy of life in the in the in the in the hearts of people and what people's bodies need and their minds need. Those type of people we should go to battle with. So if you have a big enough righteous enough battle against a narcissist, and you're a fighter and do it, but most of us have other things to do, a lot of us are teachers, creators, you know, administrators. And we have, you know, the other very important part in defeating your own narcissistic tendencies is to become very clear on your distinct powers and your powers are a They're a mix of your natural skills, your learned abilities, your your persistence over time, and your interests and your values. So those things all sort of formula to get the Create a formula in which you become when once you see all those things once you're you're either you're either kind of born with that natural awareness or you have to learn it or somebody teaches you it once you get really in tune with your natural strengths and your deep, really big interests, and your really core values and and then you apply those and then you and then you really own them, then your deeper than your narcissistic tendencies will decrease. And you will be able to better deal with those narcissists in the world. So so by finding that you're going to discover whether you are a fighter or an administrator, or a painter or an artist, or if you already know those things if you know that you're an artist, then then please do not try to fight a narcissist bite out of a, some sort of tie with a narcissist. Another way to image you really need to see it this way. narcissists. If you close your eyes for a second and just visualize that narcissist, and the courts their cords of light or courts of energy or electrical cords, whatever imagery works for you, you'll see that there's probably a cord in your belly, there's probably a cordon your heart there may be a cord in your head, there may be cords reaching into your entire body if they hold your whole physical being in their web. So those cords need to be cut. Now when I was cutting the cords with the immediate narcissistic my world anyways, those bonds need to be severed. I take time it takes really building energy on your part. So as you build that energy, then you'll be able to cut those cords. So cut the cords, draw the boundaries know that it's going to be hard. An interesting thing that will happen to you as you go on this process is you'll start to build more of your personal power, you'll start to see more clearly what you're capable of. what it feels like when a narcissist is in control of your life is it feels like you're doing the best you can. When you get the narcissist out of your life. All of a sudden new worlds open to you. Often when you see a narcissistic couple, the narcissist will be standing straight up The partner, the slave of the narcissist will be all crouched over, all hunched into a ball trying to protect their heart and their power center in their gut. stand up tall, I guarantee you start standing up taller than the narcissist in your life, they're going to start to fight you, which is really interesting. I mean, it's, it's, it's that's another identification identifying factor. So I'm gonna drill this down to the most important things. One, identify the Narcissus, the best way to do that is to work, you know, get away from them, build up your energy and come back with an unshakable intention to hold your center, not to attack them but to hold your center. And then you'll know you'll know if there's no possibility of getting to resolution and you don't fall into a place of blame. But you're you're holding steady this idea the idea being I'm going to Leave this interaction, owning my shit and allowing them to an end and only and having them on theirs. And if you can't get out of that, then most likely you're with a narcissist. And then the sad truth is is that if you the other part of that is that you could be the narcissist is the way to identify if you're a narcissist is if you have to have control all the time. If you can't let things go into other people's hands, there's there's emotional narcissists, there's physical narcissists, you know there's there's mental narcissist, if you're constantly trying to control the flow of those powers, then you're a narcissist. And you if you're not past the red line, you need to work on that and get that start to check that back. If you are confident that you can do those things, and you're not the narcissist in your relationship, again, if you are the narcissist in your relationship past the red line, you're not going to see it so I can't help you. I don't know what to tell you other than go see a therapist who holds strong boundaries with you. If you can be in relationship, a long term committed intimate relationship with somebody who holds strong emotional and physical boundaries with you, then there's hope for you. If you can't do that, and you require people to let you do whatever you want, emotionally, physically or otherwise, then you're not you're the narcissist but so let's say you're not the narcissist. So first, try to have that, you know, get support to this is another thing I'm always harping on. Don't try to do any of this alone. You need people who've walked the path before you listening to this. podcast is a good start, but, but you need support around you all the time. If you're in a deep relationship with a narcissist, you don't really have enough good support, or you have people in your life, they're like, what are you doing with that person get out. And so you got to stop making excuses for them and start listening to those people that are saying, Get out if those people aren't enabling you, so the way to know whether advice is good or not, is to see if it's tempered. You know, I tell people to demonize their narcissists. But the caveat that I also tell people is that once you feel strong in your body, and in your mind and in your heart, you've got to go and deal with your own narcissistic tendencies. The truth is, is that if you're engaged with the narcissist, there's a mirror projection relationship between the two of you and you've, you're taking on some of the power principles of a narcissist. That's why narcissistic children are raised by raised by narcissistic pet parents because they learned that narcissism works. That's why there's narcissists in the world because it works. So in order to deal with these narcissists, you either become like them. And again, back to the matter back to the vampire metaphor. You either become a vampire, or you're a Vampire Slayer, which is dedicated his life like in in the archetype of Vampire Slayer isn't a part time job is a full time deal. So if you want to be a Vampire Slayer, a narcissist Slayer, it's a lifetime job. You gotta just do it for life. Or you, you know, stay in the village away from them, you know, close your doors put Garland's of rosaries around your house and protect yourself. from them. You can you can create a wonderful life with no vampires around. But I would also say you know that we need support that it's also really good to have a few vampire Slayer's a few narcissists. slayers in your circle. I'll just say a quick word about this. We overestimate our power to change ourselves. The best way to change yourself is to completely change your social and physical environment. Now, there's an old a saying that like, wherever you go, there you are, and you bring yourself Yet with you and you make shit about your new space, that's not entirely true. What we do is we bring our social, our social patterns with us. So if you put yourself in an environment that demands you to be someone different socially, you will change. And that's what most of us don't have the courage to do. That's why in the ancient times, not the ancient times in the 1800s, and 1700s, there was tons of not tons but but there were stories of settlers who would go live with the natives for a long enough time that they didn't return to the Western way of life. That's because they were in an entirely different social structure that had entirely different social norms that had entirely different value structure. And once they embedded in that long enough, they completely transformed. Now, today, we glorify that in a lot of, sort of modern cultural contexts. But we're still trapped in social norms all the time. We're still trapped in western civilization and the norms of Western realization. So what you need to do in order to get out of these narcissistic relationships is to embed yourself in a relationship that demands socially, that you be either a vampire slayer or have nothing to do with them. If you look at highly successful people in the world and talking billionaires, founders, teachers, political leaders, they all are highly selective of the people that they surround them with. And that is not an elitist principle. That's a fact of what it takes to function at the highest level. You can't let narcissists in. If you want to function at the highest level, you've got to get them out in an order to get them out. It's going to be a painful process, you know, well, I'm still waiting to hear a story about someone who does it easily, but I'm not gonna hold my breath. So I really like the hundred and 50 foot rule. If you get 150 feet away from a narcissist, and you stay away that far. They're going to lose their power over you, if you don't interact with them, they're gonna lose their power over you. You know, if they're constantly sending you texts and emails and you're responding to them, even if you're responding to them and sort of what you think are boundary ways. In the beginning, that may be okay. But eventually, you've got to just keep holding the line until that because that's a feed for them. They don't really want to resolve anything with you at all looks like they're trying to resolve something, but really what they're doing is trying to exert some sort of control over you. So you have to weigh that you remove that control, you remove yourself from the communication. Again, unless you're going to become a vampire, Narcissus, Slayer, that by all means dedicate your life to that we need more of you. I am not. I am a teacher. I cannot effectively fight a narcissist I've tried and I failed multiple times. Now I try to teach people how to deal with them. And I work on my own inner power and my own narcissistic tendencies which have made my life so much more joyous, so much more peaceful. I have a loving family, I have a beautiful house, I have a beautiful child. I have a wonderful relationship in which mutual empowerment and mutually beneficial interactions are the norm, which holding a caring for each other's hearts are the norm. And I know that a lot of people can say that I'm not tooting my own horn. It's just it's true. You know. You got to do the work. I guess that's what I'm saying. You got to do the work and it doesn't have to look like work. It can be a joyous process, but you have to embrace. You have to embrace as the Buddhists say the pain and suffering of life. Now that doesn't mean that your life is going to be pain and suffering. What that means is is you don't resist pain and suffering. And the irony is is that last year was 18. Read the last year resist the the pain and suffering of Transformation of changing from one state to another in your life, the more you tap into that deep, immortal part of yourself that's filled with joy and power and love the when you start resisting or when you're in resistance, then you're moving away from that, and nobody's perfect. And we're always moving away in towards it all the time. But you at least have to have it out in front of you that you're moving towards that total equanimity with the full totality of experience of life. And again, like the irony is, it's like the Buddhists they look so happy. That's because they've given up or the most accomplished Buddhist meditators look so happy. That's because they've given up the resistance to the suffering side of life. So the reason I said the whole thing about suffering is because you have to go through the crucible, you've got to walk through it in order to exercise the the vampire narcissists from your life. It'll happen if you stay the course and if you surround yourself with people that will help you You get when you fall down, and you don't think that you can do it anymore, they'll pick you back up, they'll hold you, you'll get through it. You have to be willing to let go of your ego and your ideas of how you're going to get there. You got to just commit to getting there. And then let those people that can help you get you there. That statement really is true that the teacher will come when the student is ready, but also the support group will come when you are ready to be supported out of this dynamic. You also have to acknowledge that there's a reason you stay in narcissistic relationships. You get a power in it, it hurts. It's a bummer. But you get a power in it. You get a self righteousness in it, you get a justification for who you are in it, you get the most powerful thing in life is our feeling that we are consistent, that we know who we are. So you get that feeling you know who you are. And in a way, you're going to have to embrace the darkness. The the under water place that's dark and scary and uncertain. You go into that uncertainty and see that you're not going to die. Because that's what it feels like when we try to break old patterns. It feels like you're going to die. And you do little little teeny teeny steps. If all you're doing is not picking up the text, the minute she texts you, that's a good step. And then not the email. That's a good step, and then not the phone call. That's a good step. And then slowly, slowly, slowly keep replacing those interactions with the narcissist the vampire with the Vampire Slayer's the compassionate people who are successful and have what you want in life. I just said one more thing about Narcissus. They cannot celebrate your success. Narcissus will always find a way to subtly demean your success. So another identifying characteristic of them, you'll feel like oh, that kind of felt like a compliment, but I somehow feel little weird that. So get those narcissists out of your life. Get yourself around some support group that can help you all start one on this web page. I don't have enough of a structure setup yet, but as soon as I do, we'll start some sort of narcissist support group on web page wildlife net, please subscribe to the podcast. Please subscribe to the YouTube channel, wildlife education. And I hope this has been valuable. Please send me questions. There's so much in this material that I can't get through in an hour. Normally I do half hour segments. This is probably a 10 hour segment but let's do it in question and answer forum is that's going to make it more focused and direct. I need your support as well because I can't do what I'm trying to do by myself. It doesn't work only Narcissus think they can do things by themselves. Alright, have a wonderful day. Also subscribe the notification or click on the notification button so you get notifications of when I Create new material right now and create new material about every two to three weeks. Have a wonderful day. wonderful day. wonderful day. wonderful day. wonderful day. wonderful day. Transcribed by https://otter.ai
I created this series for video and now have decided to share the audio versions.
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