You've Got Lael

"Rest is the bridge between where you are and where you want to be." - Octavia Raheem In this episode, Lael talks about taking a break from the You've Got Lael podcast. She shares what led to this decision, what the future might hold and how you might benefit from pressing pause on something in your life as well. Perhaps even something you love. In the meantime, you can stay connected with Lael by joining her email list, attending an upcoming event or reaching out via website, email or phone. Hope to see you soon!  

Figuring out our life purpose can feel daunting. It's like we're supposed to have some a-ha moment where it becomes clear why we're here and what we're meant to do. For me, life purpose has been more of a slow unfolding. An ongoing process of noticing what gives my life meaning. That's what we're talking about on the podcast today. About our Guest: Erik Melver is a Fine and Performing arts teacher living in Saudi Arabia. Twelve years ago he tested the theory that 10,000 hours could make you an expert in anything and started painting with acrylic using nothing but YouTube videos, books and experimentation as his guide. Today he has paintings in private collections in over a dozen countries around the world. He donates proceeds of art sales to support refugee relief. Erik and his wife Heather have raised their three daughters over seas for most of their lives as parents. He walks every day with the sun and curates a YouTube Channel called Sun Walker World. Resources: Design Your Year Workshop Sun Walker World Erik Melver Art

I invited educator, writer, artist and activist Tema Okun (she/her) to talk with us about holiday traditions, rituals, and cultural appropriation. What she offered was deep wisdom from her personal life and decades of work as a DEI facilitator, author and professor. I hope this episode prompts reflection and provides encouragement to keep healing and growing. Tema Okun has spent over 35 years working with and for organizations, schools, and community-based institutions as a trainer, facilitator, teacher, and mentor focused on issues of racial justice and equity. She got her start at Grassroots Leadership. For 12 years she worked with the late and beloved Kenneth Jones at ChangeWork and then for another decade with Michelle Johnson and many brilliant colleagues at Dismantling Racism Works. She recently completed 6 years of co-leading the Teaching for Equity Fellows Program at Duke University, which works with faculty seeking to develop stronger skills both teaching about race and racism and across lines of race, class, and gender. She also facilitates and support leaders and organizations with colleagues at Teach.Equity.Now., housed at the Pauli Murray Center in Durham, NC. She was a member of the Educational Leadership faculty at National Louis University in Chicago and has taught undergraduate, master's, and doctoral level students in educational leadership and education. She is the author of the award-winning The Emperor Has No Clothes: Teaching About Race and Racism to People Who Don't Want to Know (2010, IAP) and the widely used article White Supremacy Culture, which she is asking people to stop using and instead reference a website based on a revision and update of the article in May 2021: www.whitesupremacyculture.info. She publishes regularly on the pedagogy of racial and social justice. She is a member of the Bhumisphara Sangha under the leadership of Lama Rod Owens and a participant in The Infinite Circle at Breadloaf Mountain Zen Center. She is an artist, a poet, and a writer. She lives in Carrboro, NC where she is fortunate to reside among beloved community. Her current project is deepening her ability to love her neighbor as herself. She is finding the instruction easy and the follow through challenging, given how we live in a culture that is afraid to help us do either or both. RESOURCES Design Your Year Workshop Read: Divorcing White Supremacy Culture: Coming Home to Who We Really Are Dismantling Racism: A History Lesson White by Law: The Legal Construction of Race by Ian Haney Lopez Podcasts: Ruby Sales on the On Being podcast Tema Okun and Michelle Cassandra Johnson on All the F*ck In Organizations for education, community and action: Better Neighbor Lab We Are Finding Freedom The People's Institute for Survival and Beyond White Awake

Attention business owners! Have you noticed business has changed? The strategies we were using prior to 2020 are not working. People are not investing, purchasing and committing like they used to. You have changed, too. The strategies you were using before don't feel as aligned. What needs to change about your business in order to meet yourself and your customers where they are at? About our guest: Brooke Monaghan is a business coach and the founder of Fruition Growth Network, an online community and learning platform for lifestyle business owners. She has forever been fascinated by the people who go out on their own and finally did so herself in 2019, establishing her consulting business. After transitioning into business and leadership coaching she witnessed first hand the uphill battle that online business owners are facing trying to grow their work in the current digital landscape. Sick of helping her clients navigate a broken system, Brooke set out to create a solution and started Fruition Growth Network with contributions from her own clients and people who helped her along the way. Her current mission is to use the first phase of this platform as a way to get the work of these founding contributors in front of as many people as possible, and providing quality support for her community. Resources: http://www.joinfruition.com/ https://www.instagram.com/briggsmonaghan/  

For most of us, the holiday season is a trigger for unhealed hurts. The rifts in our relationships and in our culture can be painfully present. Rebecca Greenidge joins us today to talk about taking accountability and repairing harm. Whether it's in your family, social circle, work culture or larger community, chances are you have a relationship or two that needs healing. Today's episode shared WHY repairing the harm we've caused is foundational for our own healing and for ending oppression in all its forms. RESOURCES Rebecca Greenidge at Better Neighbor Lab Relating and Dominating Patterns: https://betterneighborlab.com/patterns Healing Practice: https://betterneighborlab.com/healing-practice 5-fingers-of-accountability: https://betterneighborlab.com/accountability Rev Michelle Higgins Sean Ginwright  

Are you feeling stagnant or stale in your long-term relationship? Are you tired of feeling responsible for maintaining the passion in your marriage? Feeling like the only choices on the table are to live as roommates, have an affair or get divorced?   What if there is another way? What if we've been taught a very narrow view of what a healthy, committed relationship might entail? This episode is for anyone who wants to renegotiate the terms of their long-term relationship AND for those committed to liberation in all its forms. About our guest...   Terra Anderson (they/them) is a leading force for pleasure and intimacy in the LGBTQIA+ community. With almost 20 years of experience working in embodiment and sexuality and over 20,000 hours fine tuning their expertise in gender justice, Terra's unique approach to healing joins the powers of activism and pleasure to help LGBTQIA+ people to live more empowered, empleasured, and liberated lives. Terra is the founder of Embody Emerge, a somatic sex therapist, a pleasure and intimacy coach, and a published researcher exploring the impacts of oppression on the body. Through their work, Terra aims to move us closer to a world where pleasure for all can be prioritized as the navigational force by which we heal together, grow, and carve meaningful lives.   RESOURCES Terra's website: www/embodyemerge.com Terra on Instagram @embodyemerge Talks at Google EP 249: Dan Savage and Esther Perel: Love, Marriage and Monogamy Book: Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Non Monogamy by Jessica Fern  

Today we are talking about liminal spaces. Those times in our lives that feel unclear, foggy, uncertain.  Times when we are in between one phase and another. Liminal spaces can be liberating and terrifying. They can be confusing and freeing. But liminal spaces are unavoidable. They are a part of life. On this episode, I offer you some practical tools for navigating these foggy and confusing times. From shifting your perspective to gleaning life lessons liminal spaces offer, I hope you feel a little more equipped to handle the next liminal phase in your life. UPCOMING EVENTS Belong To You Retreat, Nov 9-12 in Vernonia, OR Design Your Year Workshop: Jan 20 in Portland, OR and Jan 21 live/online  

Rest is one of those seemingly simple concepts. Rest! How complex can that be? Doesn't everyone want to rest? Isn't rest inherently rewarding? If that were true, why are we a culture of burned out, overworked, and disconnected people? On today's episode, we're talking about the radical practice of rest. Not because I have it nailed, but because I'm practicing alongside you. Turns out rest, in its various forms, can be a powerful tool for liberation - if we are courageous enough to stick with it. Rest invites us to reclaim our bodies, intuition, spirit, and loosen the grip of grind culture. Thanks for listening today. May we all experience the deep rest we need. RESOURCES: Belong to You Retreat - our theme is REST! Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey White Supremacy Culture TED Talk: The Real Reason We Are Tired and What To Do About It Saundra Dalton-Smith, MD Article: The 7 Types of Rest That Every Person Needs by Saundra Dalton-Smith, MD (Jan 2021) Rest, Pause, Be: Stillness Practices for Courage in Times of Change by Octavia F. Raheem American Detox: The Myth of Wellness and How We Can Truly Heal by Kerri Kelly Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski   

While the podcast is on a short break, please enjoy this replay of one of our most popular episodes. This episode first aired in October 2021. I had asked my friend Tracey Biebel to join me to talk about what it's like to be a therapist or coach when your own life is falling apart. Because that's what was happening for me. Tracey has a private therapy practice in Portland, OR where she sees individuals and couples. When she is not at work she can be found spending time with her 2 teens, lifting heavy things at the gym, dabbling in oil painting, finding ways to play at improv comedy, having real convos with friends, wrangling her mid-sized dog, or simply puttering quietly in her house (a fav activity). Connect with Tracey: https://traceybiebel.com/ I'd love to hear what you have to contribute to this conversation. Maybe how you balance the role of helper when you are needing help, especially if you're in a job that expects you to have it all together.

While we are on a short break from the podcast, please enjoy this replay of one of our most popular episodes. Jessica Denise Dickson is a cishet Black woman and life empowerment coach who teaches and coaches for the reclamation of our full humanity through the intersections of the Enneagram, antiracism, and embodiment. She believes that when Black women heal, the world heals. Jessica supports clients in healing work that leads us to equity, justice, and freedom on interpersonal and collective levels. When we do this work, we live more authentically with self-trust, self-safety, and fully-embodied freedom. This work echoes into our communities and beyond. When we do this, we change the world. RESOURCES: Work with Jessica: The Antiracist Enneagram Instagram: Jessica Dickson Coaching The Enneagram for Black Liberation: Return to Who You Are Beneath the Armor You Carry by Chichi Agorom The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson The Essential Enneagram: The Definitive Personality Test and Self-Discovery Guide by David Daniels and Virginia Price

We are on a short break between seasons. Please enjoy this replay of one of our most popular episodes! Tristan Katz (they/he) is a writer, educator, digital strategist, and equity-inclusion facilitator. They offer training and consulting on gender equity, trans inclusion, queer competency, and justice-focused marketing practices. Tristan's intention is to share this work with an anti-oppression and intersectional lens. Tristan is honored to have worked with and supported organizations and clients such as Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, Accessible Yoga School, HubSpot, Stanford University's YogaX program, Northwest Harvest, LoveYourBrain, Breathe for Change, Williston Northampton School, and so many more.  He was named one of Yoga Journal's 2021 Game Changers and awarded the Reclamation Ventures grant in Spring 2021 to expand his offerings and dedicate time to writing their first book.  Tristan is proud to serve on the Board of Directors at Accessible Yoga—a non-profit working, through education and advocacy, to share the teachings and benefits of yoga with those who have been marginalized, and to identify and remove barriers to access, build strong networks, and advocate for an accessible, equitable yoga culture. EVENTS: https://www.katz-creative.com/events PODCAST: https://www.alltfinpodcast.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tristankatz INSTAGRAM: https://instagram.com/tristankatzcreative   RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Sylvia Duckworth - social identities wheel Michelle Cassandra Johnson Kimberlee Crenshaw - on intersectionality Alok Vaid-Menon Beyond the Binary by Alok Vaid-Menon Betina Love's Vimeo: Ally vs Co-conspirator Seeing Gender: An Illustrated Guide to Identity and Expression   

This is Part 2vof our conversation about neurodiversity with guest Greta West. Greta (she/her) is a speech and language pathologist who's passion is coaching and advocating for neurodivergent people. Lael and Greta provide insightful perspectives and thought-provoking ideas about neurodiversity and its impact on various aspects of life. They shed light on the challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals and advocate for a society that embraces and uplifts them. Listeners are encouraged to challenge their own beliefs and create spaces that celebrate and accommodate neurodiversity. Greta's bio: I am an AuDHD parent, partner, friend, voracious reader, and a million other things. I have a bachelor's degree in theatre and a master's degree in Speech Language Pathology. I've been working in public education with autistic and otherwise disabled teenagers for nearly a decade. Teenagers are the very best. I am transitioning (slowly, as befits my neurodivergent hatred of change) to private practice in order to serve my people...other neurodivergent individuals and their families. I LOVE thinking, reading, and talking about neurodivergent brains, learning styles, culture, language, and misconceptions. I specialize in supporting people in the areas of executive functioning, social pragmatics and communication, bridging the language and communication gap between neurodivergents and neurotypicals, and cultivating self-advocacy. I work with families, partners, and co-workers to support cross-neurotype communication and encourage joyful and clear connections free of the second-guessing and hurtful assumptions that too often accompany interactions between neurodiverse groups. Resources mentioned in this episode: 100-ish books on autism and neurodiversity Greta's website: www.ndhumanalliance.com Instagram @ndhumanalliance  

This is Part 1 of our conversation about neurodiversity with guest Greta West. Greta (she/her) is a speech and language pathologist who's passion is coaching and advocating for neurodivergent people. Lael and Greta provide insightful perspectives and thought-provoking ideas about neurodiversity and its impact on various aspects of life. They shed light on the challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals and advocate for a society that embraces and uplifts them. Listeners are encouraged to challenge their own beliefs and create spaces that celebrate and accommodate neurodiversity. Greta's bio: I am an AuDHD parent, partner, friend, voracious reader, and a million other things. I have a bachelor's degree in theatre and a master's degree in Speech Language Pathology. I've been working in public education with autistic and otherwise disabled teenagers for nearly a decade. Teenagers are the very best. I am transitioning (slowly, as befits my neurodivergent hatred of change) to private practice in order to serve my people...other neurodivergent individuals and their families. I LOVE thinking, reading, and talking about neurodivergent brains, learning styles, culture, language, and misconceptions. I specialize in supporting people in the areas of executive functioning, social pragmatics and communication, bridging the language and communication gap between neurodivergents and neurotypicals, and cultivating self-advocacy. I work with families, partners, and co-workers to support cross-neurotype communication and encourage joyful and clear connections free of the second-guessing and hurtful assumptions that too often accompany interactions between neurodiverse groups. Resources mentioned in this episode: 100-ish books on autism and neurodiversity Greta's website: www.ndhumanalliance.com Instagram @ndhumanalliance  

If you pay attention to what's happening in the world, it's hard not to feel overwhelmed. There's so much pain and injustice. So many people, places and spaces that need advocacy and healing. Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough. That no one is doing enough. That things will never get better. Today, we're talking about where those feelings come from and what we can do when feeling anxious or hopeless about the state of the world. Resources mentioned in this episode: Nadia Bolz Weber Whitesupremecyculture.info Tristan Katz Stephanie Ghoston Paul Better Neighbor Lab - link coming soon!

Today we delve into the power of visualization and manifestation. Not the individualistic, spiritual bypassy kind, but the visualization and dreaming that liberation leaders have been teaching for 100s of years. We spend a lot of time talking about what's terrible in the world. How does imaging the kind of world we want to live in shift our energy and our actions? How might focusing on what's possible create positive change in our communities? our schools? our places of work? I keep listening and learning from people who are leading movements for change and applying (imperfectly) the tools they recommend. Here's some people you might want to learn from: Malcolm X Octavia Butler Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarsinha Sonja Renee Taylor Myisha T Hill bell hooks Robin Kelly Devon Price adrienne maree brown Mia Mingus Michelle Cassandra Johnson Stephanie Ghoston Paul Trudi LeBron Tricia Hersey Rebecca Greenidge  Including some guests from this show: LaQuisha Minneweather AJ MCCreary Tristan Katz Steff Gallante Tara Benavente Dana Sturtevant

Michelle Ann Collins is a yoga therapist, wellness coach and author who partners with people experiencing grief, injury and other types of loss. After a series of losses in her own life, including her husband's death by suicide, Michelle turned her post-traumatic stress into post-traumatic growth. She now helps others transform grief and less from barely surviving to joyful thriving. Her personal experience combined with her professional expertise makes her a valuable resource for anyone experiencing grief or supporting someone who is. Michelle shares: The myths and stigma around suicide What helps suicide survivors heal Body centered approaches to healing from loss of all kinds How to support others experiencing grief and loss Resources mentioned in this episode: Michelle Collin's website Inhabit Joy Grief.com Grief Yoga Eckhart Tolle

On this episode, we're talking with Tara Benavente (she/they) about the housing crisis, particularly in Portland, OR and what we can do about it. We explore common misconceptions and biases about unhoused folks. We talk about the systems (which are made up of people, btw) that contribute to houselessness and delay or block solutions to this crisis. You'll be invited to reflect on your own beliefs and biases and take action to be part of the solution. Tara's Bio: Tara is an indigenous CHamoru who moved to Portland in 2010 and has been volunteering and working with houseless individuals and communities since 2012 in various shelter settings using a trauma-informed housing-first model. Her work is rooted in Restorative Justice philosophy and practice. Over the past few years, Tara has managed new projects such as motel shelters and tiny home transitional shelters in Portland. She now works as a director of Restorative Justice with Resolutions Northwest and desires to bring restorative justice practices into houseless services and self-governed communities. Outside of this work, Tara loves to hike, camp, climb, swim, and is always adventuring and exploring the PNW with her wife Kimmy. Resources mentioned in this episode: Joint Office of Homeless Services: Point in Time Survey Housing First model Sisters of the Road Portland Free Fridge Street Roots - resource guide The Little Book of Restorative Justice by Howard Zehr Resolutions Northwest St Johns Village JORE Consulting - watch for their new Better Neighbor Lab - coming September 2023

In this episode, we're talking about something I think we benefit from talking about again and again: stress, burn out, and self-care.   My guest is Steph Gallante, an Ayurveda Yoga Specialist, Mental Health & Trauma-Informed Yoga Teacher and Self-Care Coach and has a lot of wisdom to share on this topic.   Steff and I talk about something else we think is important the self-care conversation - the specific ways dominant culture impacts how we care for ourselves (or don't.)   We discuss... - Steph's mission as a self-care coach with a focus on social justice and equity. - The (sometimes unspoken but always felt) expectation that we conform to certain standards and ways of being. - How Ayurveda and yoga can help us align with nature's rhythms (and therefore our body's rhythms) - Permission to trust ourselves and acknowledge what we need in this season of life. Different types of rest   Let us know what stood out for you and what you want to add to this conversation. You can find us at the links below.   Steff's bio: Steff Gallante (she/her) is an Ayurveda Yoga Specialist, Mental Health & Trauma-Informed Yoga Teacher and Self-Care Coach.   Her mission is to disrupt the status quo of society's view of self-care, mental health, overall well-being, and most importantly: who gets to feel well. Steff's work centers on guiding clients who are disrupting oppressive systems in the world in creating a lifestyle of mindful self-care to support their mental, emotional, physical, and energetic health.   She empowers her clients through one-on-one and group sessions to uplift their day-to-day well-being and mental health by incorporating yoga asana, pranayama, meditation, mindfulness, and Ayurveda self-care practices. Steff's services provide holistic support so her clients can be more fully resourced, authentically show up in the world to support their communities, navigate everyday stress, work through the effects of trauma, and promote more ease and joy in their daily lives in a deeply personal and sustainable way.   Steff is an avid reader, sky watcher, and lover of dance. She is also a lecturer for Rutgers University's Department of Kinesiology and she facilitates wellness workshops for businesses, organizations, and schools.   Resources mentioned in this episode: Steff Gallante's website Steff's podcast The Wholistic Self-Care Collective Summer Community Circle June 20 The 7 Types of Rest by Saundra Dalton-Smith, MD The Invisible Kingdom: Reimagining Chronic Illness by Meghan O'Rourke What is Ayurveda? Lael's Belong To You Habits program Summer Planning Workshop June 10 Save the Date: Belong to You Retreat November 9-12 - Our theme is REST!  

Our guest today is Dana Sturtevant (she/her) co-author of Reclaiming Body Trust: A Path to Healing and Liberation. We're exploring diet culture, fatphobia, healthism and how we are impacted by and uphold these cultural norms. Reading their book shifted something deep in me. I'm already experimenting with new behaviors and ways of thinking. I'm curious where this conversation will lead you. A little about Dana: Dana Sturtevant, M.S., R.D. (she/her) is the co-founder of the Center for Body Trust and the co-author of the book Reclaiming Body Trust: A Path to Healing and Liberation. As a registered dietitian, she helps people divest from diet culture, explore what it means to be embodied, and move toward more compassionate forms of radical care. Her work as a speaker, educator, and trainer focuses on humanizing health care, advancing health equity, and advocating for food and body sovereignty. For the past 20 years, Dana has trained thousands of health care providers in Motivational Interviewing. As a sought-after speaker and writer, Dana is a champion for weight-inclusive models of care and offers supervision, training, and consultation for helping professionals and health care organizations. You can find Dana here: Instagram: center4bodytrust Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CenterForBodyTrust/ Website: https://centerforbodytrust.com/  Resources mentioned in this episode: Center for Body Trust Book: Reclaiming Body Trust: A Path to Healing and Liberation by Hilary Kinavey, MS, LPC and Dana Sturtevant, MS, RD Desiree Adaway and on instagram @desireeadaway Book: Eating in the Light of the Moon by Dr. Anita Johnston Book: Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha Podcast: Maintenance Phase with Aubrey Gordon and Michael Hobbes Please share your comments and other resources we should know about here.

Jenn Burleton (she/they) is a musician, activist, educator and advocate for transgender children, adolescents and their families. She has been the director of the TransActive Gender Project at Lewis and Clark Graduate School of Education in Portland, OR for the past 17 years. Jenn join us today to share why there's been a recent uptick in anti-trans legislation, organized efforts to eradicate trans people, and what we can do about it. Why are we talking about this? Because none of us is well until we are all well. How can we be relaxed and joyful and manifesting our dreams when our neighbors, our fellow humans, are fighting for their lives? The cognitive dissonance required to ignore reality doesn't lead to a life of peace. Instead, it requires ongoing mental gymnastics and numbing out. When we care for each other, we feel more connected to ourselves, each other and our purpose. Its empowering. It's how we create the kind of world we want to live in. One that looks out for each other and stands up for each other. One that creates the conditions for all to thrive, not just the privileged few. How might you add community care to your self-care practice? Join the conversation on Patreon. Links: Michael Knowles at CPAC: Eradicate "Transgenderism" (article/video) Republican Party MAGA manifesto for the future of transgender, nonbinary, and eventually, all gender expansive people in the United States of America. (6 min video) Trans Legislation Tracker ACLU: Mapping Attacks on LGBTQ Rights in U.S. State Legislatures Find Your Congressional Representatives Find Your Senator Find your Governor TransActive Gender Project at Lewis and Clark University National Center for Transgender Equality Basicrights.org Follow on Instagram: ACLU lawyer Chase Strangio  

As we wrap up the first quarter of 2023, I wanted to give you an update on my own personal growth project. My goal for Q1 was to rest, do less and refill my cup. If you want the backstory about WHY, Listen to Episode 52, Capacity vs Desire.   Initially I felt some shame about getting to this exhausted place again. But let's be real, most of us need to revisit the same lessons a few times.   Today, I'm sharing what I'm learning about my patterns and some of the tools I use when I find myself in a difficult spot, like... Creating space in my schedule to DO NOTHING which gives me the insights I want Remembering that both things might be true when I'm feeling conflicted or confused Moving my body. It helps me get out of my head and lifts my mood.   I intend to keep the insights I gained in Q1 as I head in to Q2. I know without clear boundaries and accountability, it's far too easy for me to just get busy again.   Thanks for listening! I'd love to know what your intentions are for spring.  

This week I'm talking with Lindsay Porter (she/her), owner of the Fishwife Restaurant in Portland, OR. I felt so inspired and energized after our conversation. I hope you do too. I wanted to have Lindsay on the show for a while. I've witnessed such a change in her over the past year. (You know I love a good transformation story.) I wanted to know how that happened and what it's been like for her. Lindsay shares what happened when she decided to get sober and stop pleasing others. Best of all, she reminds us that self-care can be simple! You can see Lindsay in action 4-9pm on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays at the Fishwife Restaurant at 5328 N Lombard Street, Portland OR 97203 (Be sure to say Hi!) OR... Instagram: @fishwiferestaurant Website: fishwiferestaurant.com Other resources mentioned in this episode: Marijuana Anonymous Core and Booty with Carlee Fit @carleefit_ Women's Circle with Lael: Click here Spring Habits Reset with Lael: Click here  

Capacity and desire are not the same. In this solo episode, Lael shares what she's currently learning about desire, capacity, trauma, unworthiness and practices that support her ongoing recovery. RESOURCES: Holistic Life Navigation Podcast: EP 76: Navigating Capacity & Desire: How to Stop "Self-Sabotaging" with Luis Mojica We Can Do Hard Things Podcast: Glennon's Diagnosis and What's Next in which she shares that what we think are our strengths might actually be a trauma response (Trigger Warning: Disordered Eating, Trauma) Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey Breitenbush Hot Springs Lael's Calendar Link: New Clients and Existing Clients  

A New Year is here!  Let's live this year with intention and purpose. Each year I facilitate a planning process for people called Design Your Year. It's happening on Friday, Jan 6 and you are invited to attend! With the Design Your Year Workshop, you will:  ✨ Get clear about what matters to you ✨ Set meaningful intentions ✨ Create action steps to accomplish your goals ✨ Live your life with purpose and meaning One way to prepare for this special day is to map out your 3-Year Vision. That's what today's episode is all about! Creating your 3-Year Vision helps you get clear about what to focus in the coming year, so you can act with confidence versus fumbling through life. You don't have to be a “planner” to get something out of the Design Your Year Workshop or today's episode. These processes alone are illuminating and inspiring. Enjoy! Design Your Year Workshop Friday, January 6 9am - 3pm PT Online | Open to people of all genders | No experience required $249 Payment plans available Register at laelpetersen.com/events

This show is all about the Design Your Year Workshop - a yearly visioning and planning process I've facilitated for the past six years. Our Guests Shireen (she/her) is a parent, performance artist and entrepreneur who has used the workshop to organize her family and her business for the past 4 years. While dreaming big is not a challenge for Shireen, the workshop helps her put those dreams into action. Rachelle (she/her) is a busy mom of two young children who also works full-time as a research coordinator at a local university. She first signed up for the workshop at a time when her life felt incredibly overwhelming. She returns to this process every year for the inspiration, clarity and accountability it provides. Juliana (she/her) is also a parent and partner with a full life inside and outside her home. She finds the workshop powerful in the way it clarifies what's important to her and helps prioritize what needs her attention in the year to come. Juliana appreciates the connections she's made in this community that gathers year after year for this workshop. Design Your Year Workshop Friday, January 6 9 - 3 pm PT $249 Payment plans available Details and registration here!

Quitting gets a bad rap. We're told all our lives to hang in there, push through, persevere. That quitting is weak. Quitting is for losers. But sometimes quitting is exactly what we need to do to get clarity. To discover our passion. To reclaim ourselves. To heal. Today's guest, Kristen Rebelo, is in the middle of a big quit. She was vulnerable and courageous enough to share what my friend and life coach Heather Melver calls "the messy middle." I hope our conversation inspires you to consider what you stand to gain when you decide to QUIT. ABOUT OUR GUEST: Kristen Rebelo (she/her) could give you an impressive professional bio, but none of that really matters. She's currently a woman with no permanent address, residing on Munsee Lenape land in Brooklyn, NY with her cat. She loves to paint and loves her friends even more. RESOURCES House of Rebelo The Constructivist Listening Practice Marlee Grace's newsletter openHAUS Coworking in Portland, OR JORE Consulting How We Show Up, by Mia Birdsong DESIGN YOUR YEAR WORKSHOP January 6, 2023 from 9 - 3 pm PT Details and Registration WEBSITE laelpetersen.com

I've been thinking a lot about aging and the end of life lately. Probably from working at the hospital. Being aware of my parents' stage of life reminds me of the inevitable reality that I'll lose them someday. My work has given me a front-row view of the aging process. As a coach and hospital social worker, I get to witness the emotions and family dynamics that arise as our loved ones age. Dominant culture tends to treat aging as something to avoid. The process of aging is often met with fear - for aging adults and their family members as well. We don't have a cultural narrative that embraces aging nor values our elders and the gifts they have to offer. We don't have systems or supports in place to care for our elders. It's still an unfortunate reality that if you don't have money in this country, your access to support services and quality care is limited. It's wild since we will all die someday. And we will all lose loved ones. While we continue to advocate for systemic changes, we can come together to support each other and share the responsibility for caring for our loved ones. This stage of life - like most transitions - is also an invitation to do our own inner work. Together, we can begin to shift the narrative to one that honors the aging process and treats our elders with the respect and care they deserve. I know for me and many of my clients, we're starting to cope with the realities of having aging parents or loved ones. We have questions about their intentions and plans for aging. We may have concerns about their mental capacity or their ability to care for themselves. We might feel anxious and unsure of how to navigate difficult conversations and a shift in family roles. For some perspective and wisdom on this topic, I invited Erin Chourey to join us. I hope you find our conversation reassuring, motivating, and empowering. About Erin: Erin Chourey (she/her) is an ICF (International Coaching Federation) Certified Life Coach, trained at the Life Purpose Institute, and is currently working toward her PCC (Professional Coach Certification) credential. Her current coaching specialty is Emotional Wellness and Alignment. Erin has worked in social services as a Residential Counselor, Group Home Manager, and Assistant Teacher for youth, a Case Manager for adults and teens with developmental disabilities, and for 10 years as a public and private Care Manager for aging adults. She then trained as a Life Coach and began her own practice coaching in 2017. In 2020, Erin began a part-time job with Lyra Health as a Mental Health Coach, where she supports employees of major organizations such as Meta (formerly Facebook), Google, Starbucks, Nike, Morgan Stanley, Providence Health, VCA, and many more, in on-line coaching sessions. Her clients range in age, identities, and levels of expertise and management in their fields, and live all over the US. This experience has expanded Erin's understanding of common mental health symptoms people are facing in their individual lives and how they relate to the collective challenges we are all facing together.  Erin is passionate about guiding others to more clearly identify what is most important to them and to assess if they are living in alignment with their own values, or of the dominant cultural values, the values they were taught in their families, or a combination of all. Through this process, many find relief in discovering their own truth, which results in a clearer sense of intentional direction. This eases their suffering and empowers them to function with more joy and purpose. Outside of her role as a Coach, Erin is a lifelong learner, adventurer, spiritual seeker, community member, mother, wife, daughter, and generous friend, who loves collaboration, the forest, the ocean, the rivers, the mountains, the deserts, dancing, yoga, hiking, music, and art.  You can learn more about Erin and her work at www.erinchourey.com RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Multnomah County Aging and Disability Services - https://www.multco.us/ads/locations Aging Life Care Association - https://www.aginglifecare.org// Naomi Feil, Validation Method - https://vfvalidation.org/ Barrett Values Assessment - https://www.valuescentre.com/tools-assessments/pva/ Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande

Today we are talking about mutual aid. Why? Because I'm wondering if engaging in mutual aid might be a means for healing as well as personal and collective transformation.  See, one thing I frequently hear from people is that they feel powerless to change "the system." They don't know how we can possibly dismantle racism, capitalism, or the patriarchy. They feel like their personal efforts won't ever be enough. I disagree. I believe our personal efforts - our learning, our growing awareness, our shifting beliefs, the conversations we have with our partners and kids and friends, where we invest our money, where we shop or not, the questions we ask at our PTA meetings and places of work - DO make a difference. As we change, we can't help but influence those around us. Rev angel Kyodo Williams says “Without inner change there can be no outer change. Without collective change, no change matters.” So, it's not only our indivudal efforts, but also combined or collective efforts that I am learning can be the pathway for creating a new world. One that doesn't rely on competition, scarcity, urgency, and extraction of energy and labor from every person and plant and animal on the planet.  Think of it another way. Participating in collective change movements might just provide us with the real time "internship" we need to embody the information we are learning intellectually. It is one thing to read articles and share them on social media. It's another to put your coat on, leave the house on a weekend morning, and participate in direct action. It's one thing to read articles and books, it's another to join a community and support each other through mutual aid organizations. Perhaps it is in these spaces that our beliefs and fears can be challenged. Perhaps it is in these spaces of community action and community care that we can begin to experience some hope and believe that a new world order can be created. Together. Each of us matter. All of our small actions when put together do make a difference.  Do not believe the lie that we are powerless. There are more of us than there are of them.  I first learned about mutual aid during the pandemic. I mean, I imagine it was referenced in social work school - but I didn't understand its power or potential until after George Flloyd was murdered. Up until that point, I was not tapped into the networks of care happening right here in my own community. Again, humbling given that I am a social worker by training and trade. (Let this be a reminder that there's no shame in continuing to learn!) Mutual aid came to my awareness as people were organizing to support protestors in Portland in 2020-2021. I learned there were groups of people providing medical care, food, supplies, emotional support and more for front line protestors. I began to follow these groups on social media which led me to learning about other groups and organizations. My curiosity led me to Equitable Giving Circle and MxMBloc. It led me to individuals who were part of mutual aid movements providing support to people in need. Support like housing, food, transportation, bills, clothing, healthcare advocacy and more. Regular community members, like me, sharing their resources, money, time, gifts and talents to support those who had fallen through the cracks, who have been pushed to the margins, and/or on the front lines fighting for freedom and safety for all of us. I've also been learning how much of what ails us - feelings of disconnection, disillusionment, restlessness, depression, low-grade anxiety - can be related to believing the myth of the american dream. If you are like me, you were raised to believe (consciously or unconsciously) that if you did certain things - like getting good grades, going to college, getting a good job with benefits, starting a savings, getting married (to someone of the opposite sex of course), buying a home, having kids - you would be happy, successful, safe and at peace. You would have arrived! Yay! If that's true - why are there so many of us who followed that path that feel empty? Many reasons, yes - but one thread I keep following is how this myth of the american dream excludes the reality that we are all connected. That none of us got where we are alone. That we need each other. We are wired to be in relationship to each other. And because of this, we really cannot be at peace until we reconnt. Community connection and care is the antidote. This is where mutual aid comes in.  It's not charity.  Its not simply donating money. It's coming together to support and build a new way of being. is exactly what those in power tell us will never work. It's realizing that we are all in this mess and beauty together and that we need each other to find our way out. There is something deeply satisfying to our souls to be in community and reciprocity together. It is what those in power want us to believe will never work.  We disagree. As Margaret Mead said, “Never underestimate the power of a small group of committed people to change the world. In fact, it is the only thing that ever has.” A bit about our guests: AJ McCreary, a lifelong Portlander, a light bright or a very light Black woman, she is a community maverick, artist, curator, solo Mama, and change maker who has been working locally for 15 years. Before most titles and labels she is an artist, while being classically trained she has spent most of her artistic energy the last few years pouring into her son who is an art prodigy both visually and in dance, particularly ballet. Weaved in her activism work, it is always art, may it be flowers, abstract painting, photography, or charcoal drawings. She specializes in marketing strategies and fundraising through an Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion lens; AJ has brought her skills to such organizations as Steps PDX, MxM Bloc, and Race Talks. AJ is one of the co-founders and is the ED of Equitable Giving Circle, an org that was born out of a desire to create a model of resource distribution that is not rooted in white supremacy and transactional giving. Her day to day work shows up loudly in her creative endeavors and tend to be an informed dance back and forth. AJ is deeply passionate about mutual aid and giving with no strings attached; her work in both the arts and through community is rooted in a desire to create beauty and sovereignty for everyone. AJ's bachelor in African American history and, equally as important, her lived experience coming from a working class, interracial family in North Portland has informed the full range of her work. About LaQuisha: Activist, business owner, fundraiser, and proud Black mother of three—LaQuisha Minnieweather (she/her) believes that social justice begins with community connections. As co-founder of MxMBlocPDX and Tenacious Rose, community based groups serving marginalized families in Portland, OR, she centers Black leadership while coordinating efforts to serve our most vulnerable neighbors.  From cooking and packaging meals for houseless-youth camps and Free Fridges, to creating safe havens for mothers and children, LaQuisha inspires and mobilizes diverse communities in order to create positive, sustainable change. RESOURCES Equitable Giving Circle MxMBloc PDX Tenacious Rose PDX Spirited Justice Rose City Justice Brown Hope Article: Solidarity, Not Charity: Mutual Aid's An-archic History by Jennifer Gammage Book: Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity During This Crisis (and the Next) by Dean Spade Book: White Space, Black Hood: Opportunity Hoarding and Segregation in the Age of Inequality by Sheryll Cashin A Visual History of Mutual Aid by Ariel Aberg-Riger Video: The History and Impact of Mutual Aid by Tyesha Maddox, PhD

Why is it so hard to put ourselves out there sometimes? What holds us back from going after our dreams? From believing in ourselves? From taking risks to fulfill our purpose or our deeper desires? Fear, yes. But WHY? Where does this fear come from? What do we stand to gain when we learn how to take up space? What do our communities, families and even the world stand to gain? How do we take up space when we're mindful of the privileges we hold and the fact that many people's voices are ignored and erased more than ours? Fortunately, Lauren K Roberts is here with us today to help us sort this out. Lauren Kay Roberts (she/her) is an anticapitalist, trauma-certified coach and facilitator who helps people from messy family backgrounds make an impact as community change agents. She spends most of her time supporting big-hearted entrepreneurs, nontraditional political leaders, and aspiring activists one-on-one and inside her community program TAKE UP SPACE. Before formalizing her coaching work in 2019, Lauren served as a policy aide to U.S. senators on Capitol Hill, senior campaign staffer, yoga teacher, communications and fundraising consultant, and grassroots organizer. In long-term recovery from complex trauma and mainstream Democratic politics, Lauren recently got certified as a Trauma Support Specialist to expand her deep commitment to healing systemic oppression within ourselves, our communities, and our culture. She is also mentored by anti-racism trainer, author, and yoga teacher Michelle Cassandra Johnson, and collaborates with colleagues to offer anti-oppression trainings. Lauren currently lives on Cheyenne [“shy-AN”], Arapaho [“uh-RAP-uh-hoe”], and Ute [“yoot”] land, also known as Denver, Colorado, with her husband Kyle and their two sweet girls – a kitty named Fiona Apple and a pit mix named Bisa. You can explore working with her by booking a Free Change Agent Support Call through her website www.laurenkayroberts.com or by clicking here. Let us know what stood out for you and what you would add to this conversation. See my contact links below or connect with Lauren via her website or Instagram. RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Michelle Cassandra Johnson Tema Okun and White Supremacy Culture Lena West, business coach (ask Lauren for contact info) Brooke Monaghan Deepa Iyer and the Social Change Ecosystem Map Tristan Katz adrienne maree brown Rachel Cargle Harvard University: Implicit Association Tests All the F*ck In Podcast Mediocre: The Dangerous Legacy of White Male America by Ijeoma Oluo

This is the final episode in a 5-part series on the Belong to You Habits. If you missed the previous episodes, I invite you to go back and start with Episode 41. The habits build upon each other and are easier to adopt when you start with Habit 1. Today, we are talking about the last two habits in the program: Body Care and Easeful Living. Habit 7: Body care introduces you to Self-Massage - a grounding practice that can soothe your nervous system and foster a sense of embodiment. Self-massage also supports a healthy immune system, promotes luxurious skin and hair, and provides an energetic barrier between you and the world. (Great for my highly sensitive friends.) Habit 8: Easeful Living is about learning to live with ease vs stressed out. It helps you learn how to shift your stress response to a more relaxed way of being. It's part mindset, part physiology. It's also about recognizing we live in a system designed to keep us from caring for ourselves. Easeful Living counters the hyper-productive, perfectionistic, capitalistic narrative we've all absorbed. Thank you for listening to this series on the Belong to You Habits. As always, I welcome your feedback and questions! If you want to do deeper and learn HOW to automate these habits for life, check out the Belong to You Habits Program and/or schedule a call with me. RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: 1:1 Coaching with Lael Book Study and Retreat!

This is the 4th episode in a 5-part series on the Belong to You Habits and today we are talking about Eating to Thrive. If you missed the previous episodes in this series, I invite you to go back and start with Episode 41. The habits build on each other, and as such, it can be helpful to see them in relationship with the other habits. Eating to Thrive is simple, but not easy. We live in a culture that demonizes food, fosters a sense of confusion, shame, and disconnection from our bodies and ourselves, and then preys on that vulnerability by offering diets as a solution to our problems. Eating is necessary for survival and yet it's rife with politics, privilege, and cultural norms that complicate this basic need. We've been stripped of our connection with the land, with nature, with our ancestor's wisdom, with our cultural practices that center around food as celebration and reduced it to something we engage with out of obligation or fear. Based on our traumatic histories and the current culture, I know talking about food and eating habits is like walking into a minefield. And yet, I have experienced how powerful it can be to listen to authors and leaders who are speaking about food and politics, body positivity, body acceptance, and real solutions for feeding everyone. Food is fuel. It's also nourishment. It's sensual. It's ritual. You are sacred. Eating to Thrive can be a powerful way to honor your divinity, your inner connectivity with the earth, and with all beings. Thank you for listening and as always, I welcome your feedback and questions! RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: The Belong to You Habits Program 1:1 Coaching with Lael Book Study and Retreat! Geneen Roth: Women Food and God Sonya Renee Taylor: The Body is Not An Apology Everyday Ayurveda Cookbook: A Seasonal Guide to Eating and Living Well by Kate O'Donnell Wild Edibles: A Practical Guide to Foraging, with Easy Identification of 60 Edible Plants and 67 Recipes by Sergei Boutenko The Wild Wisdom of Weeds: 13 Essential Plants for Human Survival by Katrina Blair

Today's episode is the third in a 5-part series on self-care habits. Today we are talking about Quiet Time. In the Belong to You Habits Program, each habit builds on the other to create a simple, but powerful daily self-care routine. We're talking about something you do automatically without a lot of effort. Habits that support not only your physical health but also your mental and emotional well-being. Quiet Time might be meditation, but it doesn't have to be. It can be anything that helps you relax and connect with yourself or your higher self or your intuition or God. It's a habit that strengthens your mind and while simultaneously accessing what's underneath the chatter. (Hint: inner wisdom, stillness, peace.) Quiet Time isn't something we have to wait for a retreat to experience. It's something we can incorporate into every day. Starting super small and choosing something that is rewarding to you will help. Thanks for listening and as always, I welcome your feedback and questions! They help me grow, too. RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: The Belong to You Habits Program 1:1 Coaching with Lael Book Study and Retreat! Insight Timer Headspace Audrey Voon, meditation teacher This Might Hurt Tarot

Today's episode is the second in a 5-part series on self-care habits. Today we are talking about our Morning Routine. In the Belong to You Habits Program, our morning routine includes waking with the sun (once we are well rested this becomes easier), setting our mind "right", drinking water before coffee, and moving our bodies. Each habit builds on the other creating a simple, but powerful daily self-care routine. Habit change can be tricky territory. I see so many people relying on outdated and oppressive methods. I hope that you feel inspired to start experimenting with these habits from a place of self-love, not self-improvement - because you are already awesome. These habits just might help you FEEL that on a more consistent basis. As always, I welcome your feedback and questions! They help me grow, too. RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: The Belong to You Habits Program 1:1 Coaching with Lael The Everyday Ayurveda Guide to Self-Care: Rhythms, Routines and Home Remedies for Natural Healing by Kate O'Donnell

For the past 5 years, I've been teaching simple, mind-body habits to help people reconnect with themselves. The habits I teach are common sense and all-natural. They support your physical well-being and mental and spiritual well-being as well. Together they are called the Belong To You Habits. I chose this name because I think that's really what they do - they bring us back in touch with ourselves, with how we feel and what we desire. When we are connected to our feelings, our thoughts, and our body's sensations, it becomes easier to take good care of ourselves. This is the first of a series of episodes about the Belong to You habits. While I obviously cannot share everything about them in one episode, I hope to give you an overview and some practical strategies to help you get started. Now, any lasting change requires motivation, dedication, patience, and support. If you are serious about adopting these better self-care habits for life (it took getting cancer for me to get serious about my self-care), I have a couple of options for you: Take my self-guided habits program. You could do this by yourself or with a friend or group of friends. It comes with videos, a workbook, reflection questions (your answers come right to me!) and habit-changing strategies to help make your new habits permanent. Hire me for 1:1 coaching. Visit my website, fill out an interest form on the contact page and schedule a call with me. We'll talk and see if working together is what you need. Hire me to facilitate a Belong to You Habits program at your work, club or with a group of friends. It's an 8-10 week transformational process and I love guiding people through it. Visit the contact page on my website and schedule a call with me. Thank you for listening! I look forward to hearing what you think and what questions you might have! 

I've been thinking a lot about what creates change. Like, what qualities or tools do we need to actually create change in ourselves, our relationships, and our communities. I mean, there are a 1000 different takes on this. Everyone promising they have the keys or magic to make our lives whole. It's so easy for me to get bogged down and confused. Should I be doing this? What about that? One morning, after asking the Universe directly to "please show me what I'm supposed to be doing next," I received this download. Actually, it was more like a thought that felt clear and reassuring, so I immediately wrote it down. It was... Curiosity. Compassion. Community. Now, while I was the Universe asking for clarity about my work - I think these three words can be useful for any challenge we're dealing with. So that's what I'm sharing with you today. I want to explore how we can cultivate curiosity, compassion and community as a means for moving through difficult times, and how they can move us forward in ways we haven't experienced before. Take a listen. Let me know what you stood out for you and what you would add to this conversation. I love that. Resources mentioned in this episode: Rebecca Greenidge of JORE Consulting Kristen Neff of selfcompassion.org The Journey: A growth community for women 

Welcome to Part 2 of my conversation on gender with Tristan Katz. If you missed part 1, go back to the previous episode and start there. Exploring our gender is an important way to know ourselves and show up in a conscious and embodied way for each other. There is a lot of confusion, avoidance, and ignorance when it comes to exploring and understanding gender. At least that was true for me. I really hadn't thought much about my gender until my kids came out as trans. That's common for those who hold identities that align with the norms of our dominant culture. When we "fit in" we don't have to consider certain aspects of ourselves or our impact on others. That's how privilege works. It makes us blind to our own privilege! Now, through my kids, I'm seeing a world of people living their truth and fighting for the right to be seen and to live. It's time for those of us who have never explored our gender, to do so. For our sake and for others. To lead us through this exploration, I turned to my friend and colleague Tristan Katz. We had so much to talk about that I broke our conversation into two parts. Enjoy this opportunity to get curious! And as always, let me know what stood out for you. About Tristan: Tristan Katz (they/them) is a writer, digital strategist, and equity-inclusion facilitator based on the ancestral land of the Cowlitz and Clackamas peoples and the Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde and Siletz Indians, now known as Portland, OR.  Tristan offers education and consulting centered around queer identity and trans awareness with an anti-oppression and intersectional lens along with justice-focused marketing programs for yoga and wellness professionals. Their podcast, ALL THE F*CK IN: Showing up for social justice in your work, is a collaboration with Lauren Roberts, featuring conversations about all things business and entrepreneurship—from a radical perspective that says we don't have to choose between social justice values and being successful. Tristan was named one of Yoga Journal's 2021 Game Changers and they were awarded the Reclamation Ventures grant in Spring 2021 to expand their offerings and dedicate time to writing their first book, title forthcoming. They are proud to sit on the Board of Directors at Accessible Yoga—a non-profit working, through education and advocacy, to share the teachings and benefits of yoga with those who have been marginalized, and to identify and remove barriers to access, build strong networks, and advocate for an accessible, equitable, and dynamic yoga culture. CONNECT WITH TRISTAN EVENTS: https://www.katz-creative.com/events RESOURCES: https://www.katz-creative.com/resources ARTICLES: https://www.katz-creative.com/articles PODCAST: https://www.alltfinpodcast.com/ INSTAGRAM: https://instagram.com/tristankatzcreative RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Sylvia Duckworth - social identities wheel Michelle Cassandra Johnson Kimberlee Crenshaw - on intersectionality Alok Vaid-Menon Beyond the Binary by Alok Vaid-Menon Betina Love's Vimeo: Ally vs Co-conspirator Seeing Gender: An Illustrated Guide to Identity and Expression 

Exploring our gender is an important way to know ourselves and show up in a conscious and embodied way for each other. There is a lot of confusion, avoidance, and ignorance when it comes to exploring and understanding gender. At least that was true for me. I really hadn't thought much about my gender until my kids came out as trans. That's common for those who hold identities that align with the norms of our dominant culture. When we "fit in" we don't have to consider certain aspects of ourselves or our impact on others. That's how privilege works. It makes us blind to our own privilege! Now, through my kids, I'm seeing a world of people living their truth and fighting for the right to be seen and to live. It's time for those of us who have never explored our gender, to do so. For our sake and for others. To lead us through this exploration, I turned to my friend and colleague Tristan Katz. We had so much to talk about that I broke our conversation into two parts. Enjoy this opportunity to get curious! And as always, let me know what stood out for you. About Tristan: Tristan Katz (they/them) is a writer, digital strategist, and equity-inclusion facilitator based on the ancestral land of the Cowlitz and Clackamas peoples and the Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde and Siletz Indians, now known as Portland, OR.  Tristan offers education and consulting centered around queer identity and trans awareness with an anti-oppression and intersectional lens along with justice-focused marketing programs for yoga and wellness professionals. Their podcast, ALL THE F*CK IN: Showing up for social justice in your work, is a collaboration with Lauren Roberts, featuring conversations about all things business and entrepreneurship—from a radical perspective that says we don't have to choose between social justice values and being successful. Tristan was named one of Yoga Journal's 2021 Game Changers and they were awarded the Reclamation Ventures grant in Spring 2021 to expand their offerings and dedicate time to writing their first book, title forthcoming. They are proud to sit on the Board of Directors at Accessible Yoga—a non-profit working, through education and advocacy, to share the teachings and benefits of yoga with those who have been marginalized, and to identify and remove barriers to access, build strong networks, and advocate for an accessible, equitable, and dynamic yoga culture. CONNECT WITH TRISTAN EVENTS: https://www.katz-creative.com/events RESOURCES: https://www.katz-creative.com/resources ARTICLES: https://www.katz-creative.com/articles PODCAST: https://www.alltfinpodcast.com/ INSTAGRAM: https://instagram.com/tristankatzcreative RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Sylvia Duckworth - social identities wheel Michelle Cassandra Johnson Kimberlee Crenshaw - on intersectionality Alok Vaid-Menon Beyond the Binary by Alok Vaid-Menon Betina Love's Vimeo: Ally vs Co-conspirator Seeing Gender: An Illustrated Guide to Identity and Expression   

I don't know about you, but I keep asking myself, "What can I do to create real change in the world? What's really going to make a difference?" From mass shootings and school shootings, the overturn of Roe, hate-based legislation of our most marginalized community members, and political corruption, it's no wonder we feel overwhelmed and hopeless.  It's been illuminating to me that the system of white dominance is designed to create this very effect. To overwhelm us so we numb out. Because when we're numb, we don't take action. Then life can go on as usual - benefitting the few at the top - which is exactly how our country was designed. I keep waking up to more and more ways I've numbed out. The ways I've bought into and upheld these systems of dominance. I see it a lot now. It has me examining all aspects of my life, my work, and my relationships. Of course, now I want every numb person to wake up to this reality! I want us to use our proximity to power to interrupt and reject these oppressive systems and rebuild a new world that upholds the dignity, worth, and well-being of all people. My conversation partner today is my mentor and teacher Rebecca Greenidge of JORE Consulting. Rebecca and I have conversations like this frequently. Rebecca helps me understand what I'm experiencing and I help her remember what it's like to be a beginner. Rebecca and her late husband Jomo founded JORE Consulting in 2017 with the mission to help white-bodied people develop the skills to identify, interrupt and repair the impact of white dominance. Please consider doing this healing and empowering work. Sign up for her newsletter and attend one of her upcoming workshops at JOREconsulting.com. From Rebecca: "Greetings of big love. I'm Rebecca Greenidge. I bring forward with me my ancestors who are the uprooted people of Polish, German, Irish, and British heritage. I also bring forward with me my partner, Jomo D.M. Greenidge, who is my best and most lasting teacher and who transitioned to ancestor in December 2020. I currently reside on the homelands of the Cowlitz people - colonized as Portland, Oregon. My journey has led me to understand that I must heal the wounds that have enabled me to participate in systems of oppression and co-create the environment and conditions which allow those around me to heal themselves. As we heal, we loosen ourselves from dominance and participate in framing a world where everyone belongs." I hope our conversation moves you forward on your journey of liberation of yourself and on behalf of us all. 

There are countless ways to describe stylist Renée Lara's vision, but perhaps the best is personal. As a Style Expert, Renée encourages women to develop clarity, individuality and a sense of personal renewal through fashion. I know this was my experience when I worked with Renée several years ago. The time I spent with her fundamentally changed how I felt about my body and about being seen in the world. The confidence she brought out in me was equal to the love she poured into me. Renée is a lover of people - all kinds of people. You can't miss that when you meet her. Renée's motivation stems from a compelling personal story. One that mixes natural gifts and intuition with personal values. One that turns a personal struggle into a blessing for others. Renée's studies began in pre-nursing, then, ultimately, Psychology and Entrepreneurial Business at The University of Portland. Her travels include Asia, Europe and South America. It was in India when Renée worked with Mother Teresa that she witnessed the health benefits of color, scent and texture, which prompted her to study apparel design at the Art Institute of Portland. Shortly following her trip to India, Renée was diagnosed with Lupus - an autoimmune disease that rigorously attacks healthy tissues, especially joints and skin. The challenges she faced that first year were an integral part of her developing this link between wardrobe to wellness. She literraly dressed herself to recover. While she still experiences the health challenges of lupus - a lifelong disease - she's developed a philosophy for working with clients that transcends traditional practices in the styling industry.  Renée writes, ‘Wardrobe can be a powerful source in healing doubt, and igniting beauty that is within each of us. Instilling confidence to step into our greatness with authenticity and ease in our daily lives.' For over 20 years, Renée has cultivated her professional artistry, working for both luxury boutiques and larger retailers such as Adidas and Anthropologie. Studying at the Art Institute led to her involvement in Portland's Fashion Incubator, and subsequently, to Portland's Fashion Week. Renée is inspired by the latest trends, which she mixes with her sharp eye for a classic yet modern feel. Using color, fabrics, patterns and textures, Renée energizes and inspires transformation for all her clients. No matter the client or need, Renée connects one's personal style to wardrobe and well-being. "I empower women to feel more alive and authentic in their own body through wardrobe - guiding her to design a lifestyle where how she dresses ultimately enhances her wellness." Working with Renée is one of the best investments I've made in myself and my business. Several of my clients have had similar experiences. I'm so grateful now to call her a friend, too. Do yourself a favor and connect with Renée renéelarastyle.com Instagram: @reneelarastyle

Sometimes we finally realize things have to change.   Whether you're burned out in your job or tired of trying to make a relationship work, or sick of living with old fears and beliefs, you know things have to change.   But where do you start? With a therapist? A coach? A course?   Today I'm talking with two women who both realized things needed to change. Although their paths are unique, both can attest to the value of investing in themselves.   Listen as they share how 1:1 and group coaching changed their lives. I bet you will see some of yourself in them. I hope you feel inspired to invest in yourself - whether that's therapy, coaching, or something else that helps you live your life to the fullest.   You're worth it!  

Sometimes following our hunches, yearnings or desires create waves. Sometimes it doesn't always feel like a "heck yes" to be vulnerable or have a difficult conversation. But in the long run - it's a "heck yes" for me to live aligned with my values even if it causes uncomfortable growing pains in the short term. Even when it means following my nonsensical yearnings. Because who knows where those yearnings might lead us? I believe they lead us to a more embodied and rich life. A life where we are living our purpose in an authentic and dynamic way. Much love to you! And keep listening to your intuition...especially when it doesn't make sense.  RESOURCES to support your growth: The Altar Within by Juliet Diaz Meet Your Soul by Elisa Romero Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert Pussy: A Reclamation by Regena Thomashauer The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte Second Sight by Judith Orloff Practical Intuition by Laura Day Trust Your Vibes: Secret Tools for Six-Sensory Living by Sonia Choquette Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain The Intuitive Way: The Definitive Guide to Increasing Your Awareness by Penney Peirce

My word for 2022 is JOY.  After living through the pandemic, epically burning out last year, and navigating perimenopause fo the last five years, I was needing some joy in my life. I knew I would bee to be conscious about cultivating it, because JOY wasn't showing up on it's own.  Over solstice last winter, I shared my word JOY with my witchy friends Autumn and Jendeah and they were like, "Joy, yes, but have you considered Pleasure?" Pleasure? Ummm. no.  I'm immediately thinking, "Is pleasure necessary? Isn't it dangerous? I mean, JOY would benefit others. I'd be happier and easier to be around. I'd spread light and love to everyone who came near me, right? I mean, we could all use more joy right now." But pleasure?  Pleasure = sexy.  Sexy = not me.  But I decided to lean in. (I love/hate this quality about myself.) My resistance obviously meant I should get curious.  So I did. In this episode, I'm talking with my friends, Jendeah and Autumn - both who are faithful to the practice and experience of pleasure in their lives. I'll be honest, they feel different to be around. They experience the world, themselves and their relationships through another lens - an embodied, rich, present, and pleasurable lens.  About my guests: Autumn Youngblood is a pleasure ambassador — she has committed nearly the last decade of her life to exploring, testing, and sharing the transformational power of choosing pleasure. She is the daughter of artists, the mother of daughters, and is currently in a deep transformational process of claiming her sovereignty. She manages a retreat center called Liminalia in the coastal mountain range of Oregon where she loves to welcome friends for healing, renewal, and empowerment. Jendeah Foreman identifies as a Pleasure Activist, Witch, tarot reader, social worker, creative writer, cat mama, and a big voiced, big idea having, outspoken, hilarious, story telling, sex positive, hula hooping badass, tender hearted feminist goddess. Jenn is part of a Pleasure Coven where she meets monthly with a group of women who are dedicated to the ongoing conversation and real life application of pleasure as a guiding light for a happier, more fulfilling and lush life. She has spent the last several years prioritizing pleasure in all aspects of her life. She believes that women fully anchored in the power of their pleasure can and will save the world. Please enjoy our conversation and if the kids are around, you might want to save this episode for another time. Just saying..  RESOURCES FOR YOU! Connect with Autumn at Liminalia, a retreat center or on Instagram @_liminalia_ Connect with Jendeah on Instagram @jentacular1972 and @jendeah_tarot_magic A More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible by Charles Eisenstein Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds by adrienne maree brown Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good by adrienne maree brown  Pussy: A Reclamation by Regena Thomashauer The Book of Delights: Essays by Ross Gay Uses of the Erotic by Audre Lord

Adolescence. What a challenging time! I know I'm not alone when I say I would never want to go back to my teen years. Despite having some amazing experiences, I was an emotional mess. Parenting adolescents is challenging, too! It can bring out the best and worst in us as parents. I keep seeing how my unhealed wounds are activated when my kids move through the developmental phase in which those wounds originated. I see how easy it is for me to project my experiences onto them - if I'm not paying attention. Parenting is not for the faint of heart. In order to avoid (or minimize) passing our shit on to our kids, it's crucial that we be emotionally aware and engaged in our own healing. It also feels important to start reframing adolescence - not as something to tolerate or survive - but as a beautiful opportunity for disrupting outdated patterns in ourselves, our families, and society. My guest today absolutely adores adolescents. She gets them in ways others don't. She has the uncanny ability to translate teenage behavior to well-meaning parents. Kirsten Cobabe is a former therapist, now a teen and family coach, who has helped countless adolescents and their families understand each other more and build connection and hope. I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did! A little about Kirsten: Kirsten has worked with families for over twenty years, supporting parents and young people to navigate the waves of adolescence by becoming authentically curious and truly present. During her time as a social worker, she was coined the Teen Whisperer. Her ability to meet young people where they are and invite parents into this world offers a new space for connection; a modern lens of radical acceptance. Kirsten guides families into an empowered, joyful and connected life during some of the most transformative years. She has coached countless parents and caregivers, guiding them toward a recalibrating and strengthening of their relationship with their teens. While recognizing the unique struggles of this generation, Kirsten also sees the need to nourish the creative force behind each person she is fortunate to encounter. As we raise our consciousness, we can raise the next generation. Amen! You can connect with Kirsten on Instagram at @kirstencobabe or by visiting her websites: www.raisingunicorns.co www.kirstencobabe.com Resources: The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans: How to Decode Their Behavior, Develop Unshakable Trust, and Raise a Respectable Adult by Josh Shipp Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Daniel J Siegel, MD How To Talk So Teens Listen & Listen So Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber & Eileen Mazlish Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood by Lisa Damour, PhD The Book You Wish Your Parents Had (And Your Children Will Be Glad You Did) by Philippa Perry The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist's Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults By Frances E. Jensen and Amy Ellis Nutt

"My greatest hope is that by growing food, seeds, herbs, and medicines I can reconnect myself and my community to just and connected ways of living, giving, and connection with the living world.” - Jen Williams, Wild Dreams Farm and Seed As a whole, we are unrooted people.  Our modern lifestyle has caused us to lose our connection with the land, our history, and our interconnectedness. The result can be a low-grade feeling of confusion, apathy, and anxiety.  Your healing journey may lead you to a therapist or doctor's office. It may lead you to a healer or guide. Or it may lead you to reconnect to yourself through nature. Jen Williams is a mother, a youth mentor, and a farmer.  She operates a farm-based seed company called Wild Dreams Farm and Seed on Vashon Island.   For years she has been exploring this connection between the soil, the creatures, the earth, and its people. She's deeply committed to the movements for climate and racial justice and sees re-rooting back to the land as a necessary part of our healing.  I met Jen when we were wild, passionate, partying 20-somethings. We've since grown up, gotten sober, raised kids, and found ourselves in the fortunate and challenging position of being heart-centered entrepreneurs in a capitalistic society.  I've witnessed Jen's personal and professional journey - sometimes twisting and rough - but always being led by her values and her heart and her deep love of humanity.  Spending time with her is like a balm to my soul because she reminds me of what really matters and what we are all capable of when we reconnect to ourselves through our food and the earth.  I hope our conversation shows you that healing can come in many forms. The therapist's office might not resonate with you. But putting your hands in the soil, watching the miracle of life burst from seed, and sharing the incredible abundance nature provides with others just might.  I hope you enjoy our conversation and as always we'd love to know what resonated for you. Connect with Jen Williams: https://www.wilddreamsfarm.org/ @wilddreamsfarm Jen's mentors mentioned in this podcast: Rowan White of Sierra Seeds- https://sierraseeds.org/ Vandana Shiva- https://www.navdanya.org/site/ Winona LaDuke- https://www.winonaladuke.com/  and Honor the Earth- https://www.honorearth.org/ Leah Penniman and Soul Fire Farm- https://www.soulfirefarm.org/

They say we're all born creative. I believe this and yet struggle to embrace it in my everyday life. How can we tap into our innate creativity? How might it benefit us and others when we do? For this conversation, I knew I wanted to talk to artist and writer Sarah Love. I've been following Sarah and gifting her calendars to my clients, friends and family for years. Her daily nuggets of rainbow-colored wisdom help me love myself more and tap into my creative nature. Sarah Love McCoy is not only committed to inspiring creativity in people like me, but also to deepening the practice of love inside and out. Sarah is the creator of the “I Stand For Love” Calendar (in its 19th year in print!) and a new book Every. Day. Love. which takes a deeper dive into the calendar's daily messages and offers the reader fresh insight to explore. Also, the illustrator of the Mystics Oracle Deck, Sarah's artwork helps access intuition beyond rational thinking. You can connect with Sarah and your own inner creative nature at www.istandforlove.com and on Instagram.com/istandforlove

My word for 2022 is JOY. The last few years have taken a lot out of us and I felt like it was missing from my life. Cultivating joy has become my new hobby. I'm being more intentional about cultivating and experiencing more joy every day - through music, my cat, my kids, a great show, a captivating book, a walk with a friend, working out, an excellent cup of coffee. It takes some practice, but life is feeling so much better. Marli Williams is one of those people I met who just exudes joy and enthusiasm. She has found her calling inspiring and leading others to live life with more play, creativity, and joy. I knew she would be the perfect person to talk to about JOY and intention for this year. Marli Williams is an international interactive keynote speaker, courage cultivator, and joy instigator who first fell in love with transformational leadership as a camp counselor. After getting her Bachelor's Degree in Outdoor Education and her Master's degree in Education, along with 15 years of leadership experience and training, Marli decided to give herself permission to be the “Professional Camp Counselor” she knew she was born to be. Now she helps incredible people and organizations stop waiting for permission and start taking bold action to be the leaders and changemakers they've always wanted to be through the power of PLAY. When she's not speaking on big stages, consulting with high-level leaders or training facilitators, you can find Marli running Camp Yes, her annual Adult Summer Camp for Women.  Connect with Marli at:  www.marliwilliams.com www.camp-yes.com Other resources mentioned in this episode: Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by The Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu Mary Lou Rodriguez, master hypnotherapist

In a world that's obsessed with health and wellness, why are we still drinking so much? We know it's not good for us. Consuming even 1-2 alcoholic beverages a day increases our rate of breast cancer and heart disease - two major killers of women and yet alcohol is everywhere. Baby showers. Book clubs. PTA meetings. Why do we think we can't do life without being slightly buzzed? What BS narrative have we bought into? This is what I explore with our guest today, Naomi Veak. Naomi stumbled into sobriety much like I did. We were both educated, employed, married, and by all outward appearances had our shit together. Why did we feel so blah inside? Listen as we explore what sobriety means for us, how our lives changed since we quit using, and how finding our people made all the difference. Naomi Veak is the founder and creative force behind My Sober Girlfriends - a friendship community for growth-oriented sober women. Learn more about My Sober Girlfriends on Instagram @mysobergirlfriends, and at mysobergirlfriends.com Additional Resources: Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol, by Holly Whitaker This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness & Change Your Life by Annie Grace The Belong To You Community: Self-Care Habits and Personal Development Program

We've all heard the saying that in order to change the world, we have to start with ourselves. What you are going to learn today will take that common and well-meaning sentiment to a whole other level.  Today I'm talking with the kind and wise Kathleen Rice who is on the teaching staff at the Nanci Luna Jiménez Institute for Social Transformation (LJIST). We're talking about adultism - the systematic oppression of children and how adultism is the breeding ground for all other forms of oppression - racism, sexism, heterosexism, ageism, ableism, etc. Hurt people hurt people. In order for us to stop participating in and upholding systems of oppression, we have to heal our own wounds of adultism. Hurt people might hurt people, but healed people can heal the world. Big and important stuff, friends. Thank goodness Kathleen shares with us a simple and powerful way to get started. Resources mentioned in this episode: Kathleen's bio Kathleen Rice's Linked In Page The Luna Jiménez Institute for Social Transformation (LJIST)   Video on Constructivist Listening The UNtraining: Healing Personal and Social Oppressions Re-evaluation Counseling

Life has changed and so have you.  You want to live your life with intention and purpose. Despite what life has thrown at you.  With the Design Your Year Workshop, you will:  ✨  Get clear about what's important to you ✨  Set clear intentions for the year ✨  Design actions steps to reach them ✨  Feel aligned with your values and your purpose This workshop is both intuitive and practical. The process will leave you feeling grounded and organized for 2022.  You don't have to be a “planner” to get something out of this. The process alone is illuminating and inspiring.  You'll leave with a clear direction for 2022 and the steps to take to get you there.  The Design Your Year 2022 Workshop on January 8 includes a fully-guided live workshop, video lessons, a workbook, and resources for:  ✨  Reflecting and Visioning ✨  Goal Setting and Planning ✨  Accountability and Support

Everyone has advice for how to handle the holidays: Remember what's meaningful. Set better boundaries. Keep things simple. While these aren't terrible ideas, they can sometimes feel generic. I tend to shy away from posts and podcasts that offer such general advice. I'm not sure it's that helpful. Everyone's needs are so unique! But this year my heart kept saying, "Someone needs to hear what you have to say." So here you go. Some "Not So Typical Holiday Advice." While you listen, consider the following questions: What would it feel like to prioritize or even consider your needs this season? How will you prioritize what's important to you? How can you reach out or give back to build meaning and connection? After you listen, I'd love to know your plans for this season and any advice you'd share with others. Resources mentioned in this episode: Design Your Year Workshop on January 8, 2022  Belong To You: Habits Program begins January 20 Belong to You: Journey begins January 10

If you have been in a slump or feeling burned out, today I'm sharing what's helping me recover from burnout. I also want to share how experiencing burnout is shifting my work and how I show up in the world. Last week, members of our coaching programs went on retreat together. We gathered with one intention - to rest. Instead of taking care of everyone, I allowed myself to rest as well. As a result, I experienced one of the most transformative experiences I've ever had with a group of women. I could see how the insights I've gained and the practices I'm using to recover from burnout are how I want to be in my work, my relationships, and my life. I don't think I would have gotten to the place I am now if I didn't force myself to clear space as I discussed in Episode 15. If you haven't gotten an opportunity to listen, I highly recommend you do. I also want to share how our foundational habits program is changing as a result of me changing and I think it's for the better. For all of us. I would love to know: What does burnout look like for you? How does it feel? What habits are you willing to release in order to recover? What might you gain if you do? Resources: Belong To You Habits Program