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Philips Sonicare: We are very happy for the Costco Guys and their sponsorship of the Philips Sonicare electric toothbrush. Osaka Adventures: We have tales of meeting Masahiro when we arrive in Osaka and some more tales of our Japanese adventures like Mike leaving his phone on the train. Sponge B. Marley: Jeff's infamous shirt purchase in Japan. He chose Sponge B. Marley over black basketball dunking Bart Simpson. FUCK YOU WATCH THIS!, THE BEAR!, ALICE COOPER!, THE MAN BEHIND THE MASK!, FRIDAY THE 13TH!, PATREON!, FREE TIER!, FREETARD!, WHY DON'T GIRLS LIKE ME!?, WHIRLWIND ADVENTURE!, THE COSTCO GUYS!, SPONSORSHIP!, PHILIPS SONICARE!, ADVERTISING!, ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSHES!, BIG AJ!, BARREL CHESTED!, OSAKA ADVENTURES!, JAPAN!, TRIP!, FOOTAGE!, MASAHIRO!, TRUMP!, KAMALA!, AMERICA!, OHTANI!, FETISH!, DITCH!, SCAM!, OLD MAN!, LESS HELPFUL!, DRUNK GUY!, SANTA!, DOTOBORI!, OSAKA CASTLE!, HANSHIN TIGERS!, SUPERFANS!, TRANSLATION!, TRUMP CHANT!, LOTTERIA!, NO CHEAP!, NO TIP!, GIFT!, LOST PHONE!, TRAIN!, LANGUAGE BARRIER!, SKET!, COMMUNICATE!, POLICE STATION!, THIRD SIGNATURE!, ICHIRAN!, IPPUDO!, RAMEN WARS!, MISO SOUP!, CURRY!, MATSUYA!, FAMILYMART!, SWAP MEET!, SOUVENIR SHOP!, BIG NEW YORK!, KAITO!, SLIPKNOT!, JACK AND THE BEANSTALK!, MAGIC BEANS!, ENGRISH!, KEEP ON DRUGGIN!, ELMO!, GROVER!, HOTTIES!, You can find the videos from this episode at our Discord RIGHT HERE!
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Monday July 8, 2024 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Monday July 8, 2024 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Today's show was full of craziness with Left On Read, Am I The A-Hole, and Guy vs. Guy humor. We had a ton of laughs and fun throughout today and we want to highlight that for you in THEjoeSHOW's 'Instant PODification' for this lovely Wednesday. As always you can stream it on the free iHeart Radio App or wherever you listen to podcasts!
Steve Gruber discusses news and headlines
Is the “French Cut” really needed?/ Good news… The Buffalo wins. To advertise on our podcast, please reach out to sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheJeffWardShow
Is the “French Cut” really needed?/ Good news… The Buffalo wins. To advertise on our podcast, please reach out to sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheJeffWardShow
The Dynasty: Jim has some opinions on the new Apple TV+ The Dynasty Patriots documentary. This is a straight up Bill Belichick hatchet job, presumably by the Kraft family. Theater Monster: A hero/antihero passed out during a screening of Love Lies Bleeding after jacking himself into oblivion. Weekend At Bernies: A real life Weekend At Bernies as two old ladies propped up a dead man and took him to the bank to get his money. Also a Taco Bell gets lost in the dark in Winchester. WATCH THIS!, THE BEAR!, DIRE STRAITS!, MONEY FOR NOTHING!, PLAY THE GUITAR!, INTRO!, STING!, DOMINOS!, COSTCO!, PI DAY!, BLAZE PIZZA!, DEALS!, ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!, THE 80S!, DAVID BOWIE!, HAIR METAL!, DB DEATHLORD!, F-SLUR!, SARCASTIC!, MTV!, MOTLEY CRUE!, MILLIONAIRE!, WRESTLEMANIA!, ROMAN REIGNS!, THE ROCK!, THE DYNASTY!, AARON HERNANDEZ!, BILL BELICHICK!, HIT PIECE!, THROW UNDER THE BUS!, ROBERT KRAFT!, TOM BRADY!, TIGHT END!, GRONKOWSKI!, APPLE TV!, NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS!, THE MURDER!, SPYGATE!, DEFLATEGATE!, NETFLIX!, GAY!, APOLOGY!, NFL!, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!, DRUNK DRIVING!, AMENDOLA!, EDELMAN!, SUPER BOWL!, EAGLES!, MALCOLM BUTLER!, BUSY PHILIPPS!, QVC!, QVC+!, HSN!, NEW LATE NIGHT SHOW!, BUSY TONIGHT!, MUSCLE MOMMY!, LOVE LIES BLEEDING!, DRUNK GUY!, JACK OFF!, PUBLIC!, MOVIE THEATER!, ALCOHOL!, SMALL DICK!, VAPE!, MARLBORO!, MADAME WEB!, WHERE'S THE CUM!?, INDECENT!, NARC!, TATTLE TALE!, ARRESTED!, DARK SNITCHER!, ANATOMY OF A FALL!, PIRATE!, DUMB!, ARTISTIC CHOICE!, SAME SCENE!, DARK FILTER!, AMAZON PRIME!, STREAMING!, FRINGE!, EVIL!, SKIP INTRO!, CURSED!, COOL!, ATM!, WEEKEND AT BERNIES!, DEAD GUY!, DRIVE THRU!, DOUGIE!, HARLEM SHAKE!, BERNIE!, 900!, PROPPED UP!, KAREN CASBOHM!, LOREEN BEA FERALO!, ASHTABULA!, WINCHESTER!, TACO BELL!, TORNADO!, SEVER WEATHER!, INDIANAPOLIS!, MISSING!, DARK!, NEWS GUYS!, WINDS!, HURRICANE!, RICKY STANICKY!, CONAN O'BRIEN!, ADAM SANDLER! You can find the videos from this episode at our Discord RIGHT HERE!
The Drunk Guy's extensive tests confirm the effectiveness of beer this week when they read The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood. Their (still ongoing) longitudinal study includes: Steelin' Hearts by Fifth Hammer and Aqualung by Finback. Join the Drunk Guys next Tuesday when they read The Bluest Eye by Toni
RE-RUN : Brooke and Jeanna are back again with another episode of Between the Reps. This week they discuss how their thanksgivings went, Brooke's mom's pie and custard bake-off, and finding a balance in counting macros, and still indulging. Send us emails at: betweenthereps@gmail.com For more Brooke on Insta: @brookeence For more Jeanna on Insta: @jeanna_cianciarulo To watch Between the Reps podcast videos on YouTube: https://bit.ly/BTRYouTube Thanks to our Sponsors: Go to https://GreenChef.com/reps250 and get $250 off with code reps250. Green Chef, The #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code REPS5 at lumepodcast.com! #lumepod To start decoding your body's messages, visit https://nutrisense.com/reps and get $30 off your first month and one month of board-certified nutritionist support. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or using this link: http://bit.ly/BetweenTheRepsPod. If you wanna support the show, and get all the episodes ad free go to https://betweenthereps.supercast.tech/. If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be helpful! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/BetweenTheRepsPod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
S5E22 ~ Midweek BONUS Episode! - What do you say to a guy who wants you to come see his "world's longest zucchini? What do you do with your sauce packets that was dropped in your Halloween treat bucket? What is a man in a banana suit doing with his "banana" that got him arrested? So many stupid questions...so many stupid answers. And they're all in this midweek bonus episode... DoorDash Is Warning People Who Don't Pre-Tip That Their Food Could Arrive Cold; A Drunk Guy in North Carolina Pulled a Gun on Trick-or-Treaters; FL Squatter Moved Into Home, Drove Owner's Car & Installed a PlayStation; Truck Hauling Fireworks Crashed...Causing an Hour-Long Fireworks Show; TikTokers Are Just Realizing There Are Cameras in Escape Rooms as Staff Catch Them in Lewd Acts; Residents Outraged as Snow Penises Take Over Russia Town; Giant parachuting spiders ‘spreading like wildfire' across the East Coast. Get the low-down on the week's current events with the "Insane Week In Review" as well as the lowest of the stupidity in the "Genius Awards"! Don't forget to download TELEGRAM MESSENGER & join the "Insane Erik Lane's Stupid World" Channel to read the actual stories used for the podcast & check out the photos & videos with them! It's FREE & available for Windows, Linux, Android, & Apple for both mobile & desktop! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/eriklane/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/eriklane/support
*5:00am: Trick Or Treating As A Teenage *6:00am: 1947 Year Fact, Miss The Big Moment *7:00am: Beat Mercedes for $3,100 Diamond Pendant, Flavor Flav National Anthem *8:00am: Clear Bag at T-Mobile Arena, Travel Pet Peeve, Drunk Guy at VGK Game *9:00am: Jerk or Justified: Wedding Registry Dilemma, Most Random Place You Ran Into Someone
Dan Bernstein and Laurence Holmes opened their show with Bernstein explaining his encounter with an inebriated elderly British man over the weekend. Later, Bernstein and Holmes recapped an the NFL action Sunday and the MLB playoffs.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Clancy Overall and Effie Bateman wrap up all the biggest stories from the week - live from the Desert Rock FM studio in downtown Betoota.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Clip From Ep #514 Of The Clay Edwards Show W/ Shaun Yurtkuran On 103.9 WYAB (05/17/23) 1. During our new "Headlines" segment, I hit Shaun w/ a story about a man in Colorado that swapped seats with his dog in an attempt to avoid getting a DUI. I have lot's of questions, then Shaun tells us a story about a guy who taught his dog a prompt to have sex with him anytime he wanted (what the hell has this show turned into?) Check out my website at Www.ClayEdwarsShow.Com for all things Clay
0:00 - 16:30 - Opening, NBA Draft, Heat v Celtics 16:30 - 37:37 - Funny news story, NFL Power Rankings, Super Bowl Odds 37:37 - 53:46 Pat McAfee to ESPN, Bussin With The Boys NBA v NFL Athletes
todays episode talk about drunk guy who came in to my job on easter night and a catch up --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/toby66/support
3/17 Hour 4 1:00 Chris Knoche 23:00 EB thinks Michael Jordan is a bad businessman 34:00 Possibly drunk man calls in to sing O Danny Boy
In this episode, Bryan tells Kristen a story and explains why he shoving an aggressive drunk guy for hurting their child. Life Level 1 is a general topic podcast about life from the humorous perspective of Bryan and his broad, Kristen. Bryan has a background in video game development and Kristen has a background in life. The thoughts and opinions expressed on this podcast are those of the individual contributors alone and are not a reflection of their employers.
Ben Maller & Danny G. deliver mail bag fun for your Divisional Round Sunday! All questions sent in by P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT! ...Subscribe, rate & review "The Fifth Hour!" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-fifth-hour-with-ben-maller/id1478163837 #BenMallerSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Ben Maller & Danny G. deliver mail bag fun for your Divisional Round Sunday! All questions sent in by P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT! ...Subscribe, rate & review "The Fifth Hour!" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-fifth-hour-with-ben-maller/id1478163837 #BenMallerSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Yallllll welcome back! So excited for this one because I have found confirmation bias that says Turkey is terrible and collectively we're all moving on from it. Plus, I got hit on by a very veeerrry drunk man at a hockey game. Thank you for listening, enjoy! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/joe-von-kennel/support
Our Rhino was schooled on a theory as to why, more than any other sport, people go ABSOLUTELY NUTS over the soccer...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Our Rhino was schooled on a theory as to why, more than any other sport, people go ABSOLUTELY NUTS over the soccer...
CLIP- Ally was lucky enough to go to the show last night and was next to a guy who tried so hard to start a chant
On this episode of BBLB: The brothers are joined by Cable Guy and they start the show with the tragic kidnapping of Eliza Fletcher in Memphis... Big Bro comes up with an idea to fix road rage (19:20)... A debate on proper attire for Kindergarten teachers (25:44)... The guys chime in on the Aries Spears, Tiffany Haddish controversy (41:00)... Cable Guy shares the details of Scooty's wild weekend (58:22)... Plus much more!We would love to hear from you. Please send all questions, comments and feedback to BBLB.PODCAST@GMAIL.COM Follow us on Twitter: @BigBroLilBroPod *All stories, statements and content on this show should be considered entertainment only.
Join SP3, Miss Krssi Luv, StatKing, Sober Guy JJ and special guest Kate Elizabeth of Fightful for Tru Heel Heat 191 discussing the latest wrestling news. TIMESTAMPS 00:00-Tony Schiavone welcome you to THH 00:12 Savio Vega welcome you to THH 00:59 SP3 intro – Drunk Guy and Statking live in person with SP3 01:46 THH Intro 02:13 We are live with Kate Elizabeth of Fightful and Ms. Krssi Luv 11:47 THH Roll Call 12:42 What we missed from the week 12:45 AEW Dynamite quick review (Punk v Mox 2/Dynamite Trios Tourney Final) 23:14 Bobby Fish's contract expires 24:09 Kyle O'Reilly injury update 30:34 More AEW Drama (Malakai Black's contract news) 41:29 AEW Live Rampage quick review (Rampage Trios Tourney final / Starks shine) 45:39 WWE SD quick review (Ronda's suspension lifted / Roman 2 yr title celebration) 51:05 WWE Raw quick review (Raquel and Aliyah win tag titles but why? / Promo war Riddle v Rollins) 1:03:03 WWE News (HHH's resigning's- Braun update / name changes) 1:11:18 WWE NXT quick review (Worlds collide go home show for Worlds Collide / NXT Power Rangers) 1:18:33 NWA 74 Night 1 and 2 review (Kamille retain / Kate blasts Tyrus and Corgan) 1:25:29 Impact on AXS-TV quick review (OGK wins title belts; Mickie James back) 1:28:45 Drunk Guy gets chills 1:29:14 GCW Black Label Pro- 4 cups quick review (Ernest Cat Miller appearance / Mox v Gage promo) 1:30:05 WWE News (HHH Content officer / raises for Steph, HHH and NK/ USA Happy) 1:40:50 AEW News (TK puts foot in mouth with Rosa-Punk comments / Sammy & Eddie squash beef / Full Gear location) 1:59:34 HHH interview recap- Jericho's response to HHH interview 2:04:10 Impact News (Joe Doering retirement due to cancer) 2:05:34 WWE Clash at the Castle predictions 2:18:50 NXT Worlds Collide predictions 2:26:49 GCW Art of War Games predictions 2:29:08 AEW All Out predictions 2:47:44 Outro 2:51:16 End Welcome to the Tru Heel Heat Wrestling YouTube channel where we cover the sport of professional wrestling including all WWE TV shows (Raw, Smackdown, & NXT), AEW Dynamite/Dark, IMPACT Wrestling, NJPW, ROH, Dark Side of the Ring and more. Our weekly podcast hosted by SP3, Top Guy JJ & Miss Krssi Luv breaking down the weekly wrestling news and present unfiltered, honest thoughts and opinions for wrestling fans by wrestling fans, drops every Saturday. We also include PPV reviews, countdowns, and exclusive interviews with wrestlers from all promotions hosted by a wide range of personalities such as Romeo, Chris G, Ness, StatKing, Drunk Guy JJ, J-News and more. Subscribe and enable ALL notifications to stay posted for the latest wrestling WWE news, highlights, commentary, updates and more. Become a member of Tru Heels Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/1336177103130224/ Subscribe to Tru Heel Heat on YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AmFQmsRyQYPKyRm5hDwNg Follow Tru Heels on Twitter: twitter.com/truheelheat Follow Tru Heels on Instagram: www.instagram.com/truheelheat/ Music composed by JPM
The team talks about a student pilot who was drunk and flying solo when he ran out of gas and had to land on the interstate in Missouri.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The team talks about a student pilot who was drunk and flying solo when he ran out of gas and had to land on the interstate in Missouri.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The VHS series comes to an end, for now. Siren was released in 2016 as a standalone film. The "amateur nights" short turned feature-length film, stayed true to the franchise, while still being enough to have its own life. We get returning actors from the VHS movies, portraying different characters, Aside from Hannah Fierman, who reprises her role as Lily, the siren. Everyone has that one family member who's obnoxious, destructive, and an overall narcissist. Your bachelor party is supposed to be filled with booze, gazing at strippers, and venturing back home. All while, sleeping off what you can in hopes to read your vows in a non-vomiting manner. Never in your wildest nightmares, would you ever want to be the reason some Demon bat would latch onto your soul and refuse to give you up to some mere human. I'm sure her singing was wonderful, But this is why you never follow a dude named "drunk guy" to fulfill some mediocre sexcapade adventures. Even though you chose to enter this cult-like house, seeing all the conspicuous people in the house. Cleary the billy bob like a bodyguard, wearing a Phantom of the opera mask would cause a rational person to heed caution. Maybe I haven't been to many "Cirque du so lame" events, But I would be out of that house with a steady pace after noticing that. The underground bar begs a question, Who paid for all of that? Let me get this straight, Mr. Nyx takes leeches in the necks as payments? How does that fare with construction companies? Sure, give me the ol' "I robbed a bank in the 80's memory leech, and I'll build your bar." The building bleeds with other cursed doors, so many open and closed. It's hiding other terrors we will never know about. Lily cannot be the only creature who's locked up and used. Ash herself, the dollar general Medusa was Mr. Nyx's sidekick. We see a random girl running down the halls as Jonah, rand, and Lily try to escape. So, there has to be a cyclops or some other monster lurking behind those doors. If you captured some monster from the underworld, whose powers were only dampened by gas station earbuds, would you keep the key to unleash its power attached to some truck driver who moonlights as security on the weekends? It's not that difficult to keep that thing locked inside another locked area. Time has shown that irrational people continue to make irrational decisions, despite their lives at stake. If a bat-like creature, who I saw rip someone to shreds more than twice my size, says to me "I like you" Then by Lord Horror Jesus himself, I'm marrying that thing. I'm not answering a call to my future wife 20 yards from the thing that just sodomized me. I'll send her a quick text. "Miss ya, smooches." It's unfortunate that his last interaction with his new wife is having her watch him being taken away thigh tight into the stormy night sky. But, I feel like she already knew. I mean who doesn't jump awake to a glass spearing the wooden floor 10 inches away from you. The only thing that lifts you up, is your husband being literally swooped away by a talon-footed winged demon. The VHS series comes to an end, for now. Siren was released in 2016 as a standalone film. The "amateur nights" short turned feature-length film, stayed true to the franchise, while still being enough to have its own life. We get returning actors from the VHS movies, portraying different characters, Aside from Hannah Fierman, who reprises her role as Lily, the siren. It's a bittersweet moment to end this Movie series. It grew on me, mentally and physically. I've found a new respect for found footage films, while also keeping the same mentality and same brand aspirin for the shaky injections this genre implements. I now need to find a random man named Drunk Guy, so he can escort me to a woman named Ash and "leech" all my problems away. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/drekculazunderworld/support
Talking NFL schedules and NFL Big Time storylines
The Migs Report. Today is National Jump the World Day, Zipper Day and Pull them in my Pocket Day. A couple randomly decided to get married on a plane.
Drunk Guy WANT TO SUE Mike Tyson! I stand with MIKE See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The man Mike Tyson got into an altercation with while on a JetBlue flight has been identified by TMZ as Melvin Townsend, III. According to the publication, the 36-year-old has had several run-ins with the law in the past, including being convicted of grand theft, fraud, burglary, possession of controlled substances, and trafficking in stolen property. He has also been incarcerated on two separate occasions, once for 20 months and once for 15 months. Check me out on Twitter.com Teller99truth Instagram Hardtalk79 https://cash.app/$HARDTRADIO Feel free to donate if you feel to do so and like the content. If you have any current event stories or videos that you want me to cover hit me up at Redpillman1988@gmail.com --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/red-pill-man/support
Another Journey: UFO's, Aliens, History and the mystery of human being.
Http://www.ufo.fish, Ufouapsightingsdaily@gmail.com, twitter @UFOUAPSIGHTING, Elon musk starlink Ukraine Tom DeLonge Mars multi planetary species, third phase of moon, drunk guy at Area 51 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/mito-allen2/message
In this episode my "little" cousin/godson Ollie and I sit down and ponder the universe and how we can make the world better. Also I give him a hard time about girls.
Alingon interviews a guy at a bar, Jerry Matthews (comedian Michael Hartney), to talk about the voting rights bill and why the filibuster is like Voldemort. Subscribe for a new sketch daily. For stand up comedy and secrets from Alingon, join the mailing list: alingonmitra.com/shows And follow: - Instagram @AlingonMitra: instagram.com/alingonmitra - YouTube @AlingonMitraComedy: youtube.com/c/AlingonMitraComedy - TikTok @AlingonMitra: tiktok.com/@alingonmitra - Twitter @Alingon: twitter.com/Alingon === Today's Guest: Comedian Michael Hartney For more from Michael: - Instagram @hartneymichael: www.instagram.com/hartneymichael - TikTok @hartneymichael: www.tiktok.com/@hartneymichael - Twitter @michaelhartney: www.twitter.com/MichaelHartney - Co-Founder, Squirrel Comedy Theatre: thesquirrelnyc.com for live, in-person shows and classes. === Based off the episode of The Daily: "Lessons from the Demise of a Voting Rights Bill" === Check out the recurring guests: linktr.ee/thedailytoo --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/the-daily-too/message
Chris and Eric talk about the capital crap that happened, Cancel Culture and the NFL playoffs all before talking about some drunk ass guy that pissed himself in the McDonalds drive thru! @SinatrasRatPack @Chris_Donovan#ThisIsFunner #FunnerFamily #FunnerNetworkhttps://twitter.com/ThisIsFunnerhttps://www.facebook.com/ThisIsFunner/
As I took my bulkhead seat on the plane, I was welcomed by the pretty blonde girl seated next to me. She introduced herself as Ilke. She hailed from Johannesburg. We got to talking and it turned out she was an artist—doing politically charged art installations, of all things—which I thought was very cool. I’d yet to understand that Joburg is more or less one giant ghetto-cum-art-installation, such is the prevalence of visual spectacle. I asked her about her name, which sounded odd for a South African. She said the name was Bulgarian. Her parents had chosen it because they liked the sound. She asked about the nature of my engagements in South Africa. I told her. I was there to poke around and eventually meet up with my girlfriend in Durban, a city out on the coast, who is doing field-work there. “Oh, that’s nice,” she said. “My brother gets mugged every time he goes to Durban.”This is something that one grows accustomed to when planning a trip to South Africa. Everyone knows someone who has been mugged, kidnapped, run-over, mauled, shot, or otherwise imperiled in the country—usually a close blood relative, usually meeting a violent and grotesque fate. The typical anecdote sounds like this: “Oh, South Africa. My great aunt Mary went there once. She was sitting at a traffic light when two armed men shot her and snatched her purse. They would’ve taken the car, too, but they couldn’t see through the windshield on account of the scattered brains.” As a would-be traveller to South Africa, you collect a small treasure-trove of anecdotal nuggets of this sort.Usually when I get off the plane in a new country, I take public transport into the city. Figuring out the transport system is part of the fun. However I decided to ease into my South African experience, on consideration of possible death, and took an Uber to my hostel instead. I tossed my belongings in the back of the car, and we sped off into the urban sprawl of Johannesburg. I looked idly out the window as we passed through nondescript highway systems of concrete interspersed with patches of yellowed, garbage-strewn grass. It didn’t look like much, honestly. There wasn’t a lot to take in. My sense of curiosity grew as I noticed we were nearing my destination and the urban landfills grew denser and apparently more combustible. It was like being on a boat in a sea of household trash. Fifty-gallon metal drums sat on the side of the road, trash fires ablaze inside. Just as the trash water-line reached the height of a twelve-year-old child, we turned onto a street of appealing storefronts, brightly colored murals, and happy, attractive people strolling on their way to brunch. I had arrived in the serene and beguiling eye of the dereliction storm: Joburg’s Maboneng district.I presented myself at the front desk of my hostel where I was greeted by a young woman with a face as soft and buoyant as a cloud, yet dark and enticing like Nina Simone’s voice. She has long braided hair, and a colorful shirt. She introduced herself as Dudu. I introduced myself, and told her it was my first time in South Africa. “Welcome to Maboneng, Cody,” she said my name slowly and deeply. The way she said it, it occurred to me for the first time that my name had two syllables. She showed me through the hostel. It had a homey, worn-in feel, with a bar counter situated against the back wall and an iron hearth in the corner. She took me past the open courtyard in the back to where the barracks were. She danced as she walked. “This is your room, Cody, isn’t it lovely?” She twirled as she posed the question, and I agreed that it was indeed lovely. Then she took leave of me to return to her desk. I set my stuff down, freshened up, and set off to see what was happening in Maboneng.Dudu had recommended a café, her favorite, which I called at first thing. I sat at the counter. The ladies were really nice. I had the "Jozie breakfast." There was a sausage, green chillies, scrambled eggs, and toast. It warmed my soul. As my attention wandered away from breakfast, I was struck with a feeling of guilt: I was in cheater Africa. Sure, the people around me were Africans, as most everybody was. But really I was in a western land, transplanted to this continent for the enjoyment of people like me. As this occurred to me a family of white people came in to order cappuccinos. I could have been in Venice Beach or Melbourne. That’s exactly what it felt like: Abbott Kinney or Fitzroy. Then I was overcome with a second feeling—wow, they took everything I love from places like Los Angeles and Australia and plunked it down in Africa. Cool! Both feelings were equally heartfelt and equally silly. Really, I was just overwhelmed by the prospect of being on a continent I didn’t know the first thing about.After breakfast I was ready to have a look around. But walking and biking as usual weren't serviceable strategies. I was told it was too dangerous. And I believed it. Maboneng is a rectangular strip of about five blocks by one which are safe for people who look like me. Step a half a block outside of that and all bets are off. I opted for a guided tour instead, mostly because they were easy to sign up for at the hostel. The first was a bike tour of the surrounding area. I didn't have to wait long for it to begin.We saddled onto a fleet of dinged-up old bikes and set off. There were a half dozen of us, looking like a gang of multilingual Aryan enthusiasts. Our first stop was a mural, commissioned by a Mr Jonathan Liebmann. He’s the one who has invested in making Maboneng look like an Angelino neighborhood. After that, we made our way through a variety of squalorly dilapidations: Doorfontein, Troyville, Ellis Park. We looked quite the sight, a fleet of white people on small bikes cruising through ghettos, just to check them out. People felt compelled to provide commentary as we proceeded down the street. They yelled things like, “Hey, what’s up guys!!”The arresting thing about these cross-sections of Johannesburg was that they featured two distinct layers. The bottom layer was garbage, strewn about the ground on every available square foot. Meanwhile the top layer was art, mostly commissioned murals, many of which are several stories tall, which are festooned all over the city no matter how beat up the area looks. We passed a whole garden full of children’s art and sculptures in Troyville.At the end of our tour we stopped to visit a "roof-top bar." I say it with qualification because it was a bar on a rooftop, but it wasn’t much of a bar and it wasn’t much of a roof. For one thing there was no one else there. It was three in the afternoon. The other thing was the building wasn’t taller than those around it. You had your choice of inspecting the mural painted on the adjacent office building or a dingy apartment complex. The most interesting visual offering was a pigeon stuck in a tree planted on a patio across the street. The pigeon was hanging by its feet. It was handcuffed by a piece of plastic to a tree branch and hung there limply like someone who had been hanged upside down. At intervals it would attempt a desperate escape, flapping its wings mightily and straining the branch like a fishing rod. Then it would give up hope and hang limply again. As I watched this protracted struggle, the Germans in our group took notice. They cooed in empathy. A guy named Pitts wandered over to see what was going on.“What’s up with the pigeon?” he asked.“It’s stuck,” I explained.The Germans, Pitts, and I stared at the scene in silence for a minute.“On what?” Pitts asked.“Can’t tell,” I said. It was obscured by the tree.We watched the pigeon give up its final hope at life in an attempted escape, only to work up the courage for another try a minute later. But it was to no avail. The Germans remarked how sad this was, how the pigeon was going to die there. Then Pitts and the Germans wandered off to enjoy the less dire offerings of the rooftop bar. There was, after all, nothing we could do. Thankfully, as with all difficult situations that are not strictly one's own problem, we could forget about it when we looked away.After the tour I went out to catch the Spain vs Russia game. I ended up in a local "independent cinema." I sat for a few minutes enjoying one of the many local craft beers on offer. But soon I realized it was too quiet and took leave of the establishment. I went to get braai, which is the most celebrated local dish of Johannesburg, and South Africa more generally. It’s their version of barbecue. I’d identified a promising braai establishment in Maboneng, which blessedly I never strayed more than three blocks from. It was hardly even a restaurant. More likely some guy had set up shop barbecuing on the sidewalk, then grew in popularity until he had to throw a roof over the enterprise to make it legit. The menu was delightful. You choose between steak, chicken, and sausage. Then you point at the sides you want. I chose steak and pointed at the pap, a grits-like corn paste with little flavor but very cheaply made. It’s ubiquitous in this country. “Your order will be out just now,” said the girl behind the counter. This was actually a subtle instance of South African idiom—just now. There are three kinds of ‘now’ in South Africa. The first kind is ‘now’ which essentially means never. If someone says they’re going to do something for you now, you might want to renegotiate that contract. It's easy to see how this might confuse an interloper. The second kind of now is "just now," as I had just encountered. This means soon, shortly, presently, in a minute. The third kind of now is "now now" which is the only one that actually means now. At any rate, I scarfed down my steak, which cost only three bucks American, and returned to the hostel to watch the rest of the game.The hostel lounge area was the most happening bar on the whole of the Maboneng strip. I procured a seat at a long, wooden communal table situated near the TV. Communal tables being communal, I had to engage in human interaction during the match. Of particular amicability was the guy seated across from me, who was impressively drunk considering it had only just now breached dinner time. He was interested in everyone surrounding him, but he showed a special fondness for the two blonde girls sitting to my left. As trying circumstances bring people together, the annoying drunk guy gave the girls and me a special point of connection. One of them was Dutch and the other an American, who studied at Northeastern, just down the road from where I lived in Boston. I asked them how long they’d known each other. “Just since today,” the Dutch girl replied.“That surprises me,” the dunk guy chimed in. “Seems like you two ladies have known each other a long time!” The girls gave me a look of undisguised dismay that said this had been the nature of their conversation for the past thirty minutes or so. Drunk Guy ogled the book lying next to me on the table. He directed his attention toward me and said, “Mandela, you know he’s a sellout right?”I’d planned to go through Mandela’s autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom, while in South Africa. At eight-hundred pages, it could prop open a bank vault.“Really?” I offered Drunk Guy in return.“Yeah,” he replied. “Gets all the credit… But he’s just a sell out, man.”“A real sunnuva b***h,” I agreed.Drunk Guy nodded in approval, pleased that I understood. Then something more pressing caught his attention, presumably beer, and he wandered off.The girls and I talked some more. At length they said they were about to head out. “You’re welcome to join if you want,” said the girl from Northeastern. “Sure,” I said. “That sounds nice.” As I got up to use the restroom, I realized that I didn’t want to spend any more time with them, because they were boring. I’d rather sit by myself in a bar and read. So when I returned I wished them a nice evening, grabbed my copy of Mandela, and left on my own.I strolled about a block down the street before being accosted by live music. I popped my head in to scope the scene. The venue was entirely cement, spacious and high-ceilinged, like an airplane hanger of which a section had been cordoned off. On stage was a duo of singer and keyboard-player-slash-DJ. They were killin' it. I procured a drink and sat down at a large table by myself. My attention rotated from the music to my book to the Croatia match playing silently from a projector onto the large concrete wall. The music was loud and good, so I put little initiative into reading. As I was sitting there, tapping my foot and staring into the middle distance of the stage, a beautiful African woman came up to my table and stood next to me.“You look lonely,” she said. I was.“Oh, I’m fine,” I replied.She asked me something. I couldn’t hear what she said because the music was loud, but it sounded like an invitation to hang out with her and her friends.“I’m okay,” I said and smiled. “Thanks though.”She disappeared back into the crowded hangar. I immediately regretted what I had done. I wished I had just got up and gone with her. I looked for her, to make eye contact and beckon me over. But I couldn’t find her anywhere. Now I really couldn’t focus on Mandela. In the midst of my consternation another person came up to my table, a guy this time. He’d come over just to welcome me to Joburg. I was the only white guy in the hangar, save for the singer on stage, so I clearly wasn’t from the area. He wished me a pleasant evening. Imagine—one human being approaching another just to offer some pleasant words and welcome an outsider to their neighborhood. Now when’s the last time you saw that? Johannesburg really is a wonderful place.Then I noticed another person present at the bar. It was none other than Mr Drunk Guy. He was dancing with a woman who was about seven feet tall in heels. Standing erect, he could practically walk between her legs, like a car under a bridge. She had a good natured look on her face. She was humoring him.I walked across the room to the bar to get another drink. Then I found her, the girl who had invited me to her table. We made eye contact. She was standing with her friends at the back of the room. She beckoned me. I waved over the bartender and changed my order from a glass of wine to a bottle. The guy handed me a bottle of rosé and told me the glasses would be forthcoming. I went over to their table bottle in hand.At this point, I wasn’t drunk, not even tipsy, at least not nearly enough to talk to a group of strange girls who infinitely surpassed me in coolness. I wasn’t there to hit on them, so without a couple drinks in my system the standard bar banter didn’t seem right. They were dancing, and it wouldn't have been inappropriate to join them. But the disparity in skill made it seem out of the question. I cannot begin to tell you how whack it feels to be the only white dude at all black dance party. I took off my coat, just to have an action to perform. Then I thrust the wine bottle in their direction, as offering of friendship. But I had nothing for them to drink from it, as I didn’t have the glasses yet. The bottle sat idly on the table. I looked over at the bartender. He proceeded to hold each of the glasses up to the light and meticulously polish each one.C’mon buddy, just bring the damn glasses over…I engaged the girl who’d brought me over in conversation. I asked her where she was from. "Soweto," she said. “That’s real Johannesburg,” she told me. I wasn’t really dancing and I had no drink to hold, so I wasn’t sure what to do with my hands, like Ricky Bobby in a television interview. They moved from my hip to the chair to my shoulder back to the chair and then to a different chair. We soon understood why our first interaction had gone the way it did. I was sitting alone because I am no fun, and things would have gone better for everyone if I had just remained in my natural, antisocial state.I inched my way toward the back of the group, a wallflower in bloom. Then my glasses arrived. I finally had some social utility to offer. Drink in hand, I was ready to give dancing a shot. The alcohol helps, sure, but it’s more about the comfort of having an anchoring activity—holding your drink and sipping from it. If you’ve ever watched inept white guys like me dancing, you may have noticed there’s a lot of finger pointing involved. All we’ve got is hips, shoulders, and fingers. I don’t know why. It’s just how we do. Having a glass to hold helps quell this inclination. By this point I had been soundly rejected as a square by the girl who had brought me over, and rightly so. But her friends didn’t know that I was lame, so I went to talk to them instead.I was quite inadequate in my initial attempts to participate. But they appreciated my engagement anyway. I excused myself to the bar, just to collect myself for a moment without having to wallow in my shameful lameness. Another drunk gentleman attempted to engage me in conversation at the bar. He offered some unsolicited advice about picking up girls. “You have to go to them, not let them come to you,” he explained. He then provided two unsuccessful examples. At this point he decided my education was complete and dragged me in with him. He offered my romantic services to one of the girls in the crowd I’d been hanging out with. She inquired of me, “Why is this guy pimping you out?”My mentor seemed deterred by this question and left. I was abandoned to talk with the girl on my own. I engaged her on the only subject I knew we had in common: how uncool I was. This turned out to be a productive talking point, as it led to an enumeration of all of the guys who were in fact less cool than I was. There was Drunk Guy from the hostel, who had hit on her earlier in the evening. Then there was another guy, wearing a Canadian Tuxedo, dressed in denim from head to toe. Then there was the guy who was going around soliciting the attention of girls and offering the services of men he had acquired, my former mentor. I was less uncool than all of those guys, and that gave me a sort of statistical, somewhere-around-the-mean credibility. This helped my confidence greatly. The wine helped, too.Another of her friends approached us. She was large and imposing, like an army general. She volunteered to teach me to dance. She would lead, I would follow. We salsa’d: one-two-three-four, two-two-three-four. It was a valiant attempt at teaching, but I’m not a great instruction follower. Mercifully, the wine was really starting to kick in. I started to let loose as a dancer. I was making lots of friends now. I went up to the singer who had been on stage earlier in the evening and told him how much I enjoyed his stuff. I offered him some wine. He graciously accepted. Then I saw him set it down on a table and wander off. So I picked it up for myself and sloshed it down the hatch. At this point, my mentor came back into the mix. He tried hitting on the girl to whom he’d been pimping me out. Multiple of us had to run interference on him to deflect his attention from her. Eventually I started to let loose. My dancing was South African Approved.By now the party was starting to cool off. The Croatia game was in its final throws. I approached a group of African dudes, which included the keyboard player from earlier in the evening. We got to talking. He pointed at a guy across the room talking to a group of three girls and told me, “See that guy? He used to be the most popular recording artist in all of Johannesburg.” We got to debating World Cup teams.I got the number of one the girls, I think the original one who had invited me over, but I can't rightly recall. She said she would take me to Soweto, the real Soweto for the real Johannesburg experience. As I stumbled back down the street to my hostel I thought to myself about how much I loved Joburg so far. One of the things the girl said to me stood out: “It's important to us that people like you come to see our city. I’m glad to you get to experience Africa, to realize people don't have lions in their back yard. We have civilization here, too."Next Episode:Thanks for checking out Season 1 of Notes from the Field. If you’ve enjoyed it, please consider becoming a premium subscriber. I’m trying to do more of this kind of travel writing in the future. But as you can imagine, it’s hard to have these kinds of experiences while also holding down a job. Your subscription goes a long way toward helping me to do that. Use the link below, and you’ll get 50% off an annual subscription. Thanks! This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit codykommers.substack.com/subscribe
This is the very first episode of my podcast and since this episode my podcast will evolve and become more mature and good with editing and such but I wanted to get an episode out there where I talk about a little bit of everything and for it to be short! So I hope you enjoy listening!! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
In this episode we asked a drunk guy: What's the name of the Hunchback of Notre Dame? Who is the author of the Harry Potter books? Who starred in The Notebook? Then a drunk girl from San Diego is asked: Which team Babe Ruth played for? Where does Superman live? What movie was Tyler Durden a character in?
Ep. 139: June 20, 2016On Today's Show:JV and Natasha funny trip to vet. Strange pet names. People crap just like their dogs. Anus rag donation. Natasha wants to laser her beaver. Does JV have right to protest the amount of beaver pelt Natasha lasers? Elvis mad at people licking fingers at restaurants. JV mad at Elvis over his toe fungus. Talking with Dennis O'Donnell about the Warrior's loss. Natasha asks how Selena shaves her beaver. Survey on the downstair's hairdo. Drunk Guy calls tow truck place. NBA trying to give a message to women. Doris the slurring broadcaster. Car runs over Hell's Angels. Toddler can dance but not poop on toilet. Elvis in a car wreck. Is Elvis really meditating? GOP losing sponsor money. Law maker wants to drug test the rich.
6 AM - 1 - Marry Christmas!; Openings. 2 - ; MailBag. 3 - The News with Marshall Phillips. 4 - Jack's ginormous trampoline is arriving today.
Ep. 36: December 16, 2015On Today's Show:Elvis looking for the holiday spirit. Why we believe Trump lost the debate last night. Coke and hoes for the holidays. Jered Fogle appeals his sentence. Christmas carol hotline and a Christmas fight. Unreleased footage from Star Wars. An amazing Star Wars acapella. Local sports anchor Dennis O'Donnell. Discussing Gilbert Arenas ripping on women in the WNBA.
1 - It's Star Wars week!; Joe had a migraine and found out that part of his vision has now died. 2 - "The biggest Pinocchios of 2015". 3 - The News with Marshy. 4 - Texts on Joe's health; Mister Thrump supporters know he's just a rabble rouser.
1 - YKK on your zipper; Openings. 2 - ; MailBag. 3 - The News with Marshall Phillips. 4 - Notes from Hollywood; Dude got drunk, tried to start a fight, swam down a river, then tried to start another fight.