Podcasts about my monster

What happens when the girl with a hidden past collides with a man who's made of vengeance? In this episode of Find Me in a Book, we're dipping into Blood of My Monster by Rina Kent — a dark romance full of secrets, obsession, and power plays that'll make your heart race (and maybe question your morals a little).This is the kind of romance that doesn't ask permission — it grabs you by the throat and dares you to look away.

On this week's show we are still focusing on our Hot Ghouls of Halloween series with a double dose of the ghouls; writer/director Caroline Lindy and Scream Queen Melissa Barrera. This is Lindy's first feature, and based on her 2020 short film of the same name. 2020 Short Trailer Trailer Please head over to Apple Podcast and give us a 5 star review. We are trying to get our Rotten Tomatoes accreditation. My Monster releases October 25th 2024 Talk to us Goose www.howdyoulikethatmovie.com

LA HORA DEL ROCK N. 282 CON ZENON PEREZ FERNANDO NADALES Y PACO JIMENEZ Wallop - Hell On Wheels (2024)1. Battle Cry. BADAK - MANO Ryder SRIII - 2024 - Cut From The Knife Edge Of Love1. Cut From The Knife Edge Of Love. Scarefield - A Quiet Country (2024)1 - Ancient Evil. Mr. Big - Ten (Japanese Edition) (2024)4. Sunday Morning Kinda Girl. Kissin' Dynamite - Back With A Bang! (2024)2. My Monster. VIRGIN STEEL The Passion Of Dionysus6 Black Earth Blood HIJOS DEL VIENTOPULSA DENURA - HIJOS DEL VIENTO NIGHTWISH PERFUME OF THE TIMELESS. Black Diamonds - Destination Paradise (2024)7 - Rock n' Roll Is My Religion METALLICA MADRID. Crucifliction - Trinity (2024)8 - W.H.O.R.E. BEAST IN BLACK POWER OF THE BEAST EVETH - 09 - Espejo De Luna. Azrael Tormenta. RIOT V No more Deep Purple - 2024 - Lazy Sod (EP)1 - Lazy Sod. Deep Purple - 2024 - Lazy Sod (EP)2 - Pictures Of You Kerry King - From Hell I Rise (2024)8. Everything I Hate About You. Dragonforce - Warp Speed Warriors (Deluxe Edition) (2024)12 - Burning Heart (feat. Alissa White-Gluz) ERIK GRONWALL PAINKILLER. Dream evil Metal Gods.m Starmen - Welcome to my world (2019)11. Welcome to my world. Shy - Excess All Areas (Rock Candy Remastered 2019)1 - Emergency. Mad Max - Beat of the Heart (Compilation) 2020CD 12. Fly, Fly Away. STELLIUM - Dragon Dorado 20249 Sin Cadenas Stellium Dragón Dorado. Palace - 2024 - Reckless Heart6 - Back To '85.

THE LOST ART OF ACTING Actor/Director Ronnie Marmo Ronnie Marmo Actor Producer Director Theater Owner ---------------------------------------------------------- The Deuces Criminal Minds West of Brooklyn I'm Not A Comedian... I'm Lenny Bruce Love Don't Fade Away (2023) Short Film A Rainbow in the Dark  Eltingville  Chronicle of a Serial Killer Hook'd Lethal Weapon (TV Series) Remember Isobel Two Dudes  Chronic  Who's Jenna...? My Monster & Me The Tenet Criminal Minds Ronnie Marmo was born in Brooklyn, New York City, New York, USA. He is best known for Criminal Minds with Joe Mantagna (ION Network) and His portrayal of controversial and iconic comedian Lenny Bruce.    

An imperfect cat finds his place with an imperfect owner in a small haunted home in this episode's dark fiction story "My Monster" and then hear the true story of someone encountering a red-eyed dark figure in "I Saw Something in My Bedroom."This month's movement: Renew as a Crew"Drops of Darkness" is the ongoing literary work of dark fiction writer Anodyne Von, brought to life in captivating audible form through the creative efforts of Cameron Helkuik.Follow us on TikTok for more thrilling dark storytelling content: @dropsofdarkness To have your true paranormal story read on the show, send it to: submissions@dropsofdarkness.com Get ad-free episodes and bonus content here: patreon.com/dropsofdarknessContent Advisory: Intended for mature listeners. Check episode descriptions for specific warnings and helpful resources.For business and advertising inquiries, reach out to: thevoid@dropsofdarkness.comCast and Credits:Written, voiced, and produced by Anodyne Von as “Stranger” and Cameron Helkuik as “Someone”Introduction & conclusion voiced by Atta Otigba© 2023 Drops of Darkness | Hounds Von Hellquake Studios.Dark Fiction | Short Stories | Classic Horror | True Ghost Stories | Paranormal Podcast | Scary Stories | Spine-Chilling Tales | Gothic Horror | Scary Storytelling | Horror Narration Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Actor Ronnie Marmo: Lenny Bruce on Stage Actor Writer Producer Director Ronnie Marmo was born in Brooklyn, New York City, New York. Marmo has starred in more than 60 feature films and television shows, recently guest starring in Criminal Minds and Lethal Weapon. He also starred in “Ammore E Malavita (Love and Bullets)” an Italian film which was nominated for and won the David di Donatello Award for best picture. (The Italian equivalent to an Academy Awards). STAGE PLAYS INCLUDE: Last Days of Judas Iscariot. Bill W. Baby Doll The Late Henry Moss Danny and The Deep Blue Sea, “I'm Not A Comedian… I'm Lenny Bruce” REVIEW: "Ronnie Marmo perfectly encapsulates the spirit and legacy of Lenny Bruce, carefully avoiding the trappings of crude impersonation and delivering a performance that is heartfelt, raw, funny, and deeply sad. I imagine there are innumerable performers who could do a lame Lenny Bruce impression, but Ronnie gets inside the skin of the man and makes us deeply empathize with Lenny (in addition to making us laugh many, many times)." FILM & TV WORK: The Deuces General Hospital West of Brooklyn I'm Not A Comedian... I'm Lenny Bruce Love Don't Fade Away  A Rainbow in the Dark  Eltingville  Criminal Intent Chronicle of a Serial Killer  Hook'd Lethal Weapon Remember Isobel  Two Dudes Chronic  Law & Order SVU Who's Jenna...? My Monster & Me  The Tenet Criminal Minds  An American Dog Story

Danny Taing, Founder & CEO of Bokksu, shares his journey from academia, tech, and eventually to founding Bokksu, a direct-to-consumer snack subscription and e-grocer highlighting snacks from Japan and beyond. Learn more at Bokksu.com and @bokksu everywhereMeet DannyDanny Taing is the Founder & CEO of Bokksu, a New York and Tokyo-based D2C snack subscription and e-grocer that delivers authentic Japanese food and lifestyle products to over 100 countries. Providing Japan's traditional makers with a platform to share their goods with a global audience, Bokksu is helping to support, preserve, and promote their craft, while making it easier for the rest of the world to discover, buy, and love authentic Japanese goods.The son of Cambodian-Chinese refugees, Danny was born in NYC and raised in NJ. He received a dual Bachelor's in Psychology and Communication, and a Master's in Sociology, all from Stanford University. He then worked as a marketing strategist at Google HQ. After that, he relocated to Japan for a position at Rakuten. It was there, during the four years he spent living and working in Tokyo, that he developed his deep love of Japanese food and culture (as well as met his wonderful husband). Following Rakuten, Taing returned to New York to study Computer Science at Columbia University. Inspired by his passion for Japanese culture, Asian-American representation, and entrepreneurship, Taing founded Bokksu in 2015 with $5,000 of his own savings. Utilizing every skill and contact he had, Taing was able to go from concept to launch in just three months, without an additional penny of outside funding. And he sold through his first run of boxes in less than a week. Today, the company is valued at $100M and employs a staff of 50, 80% of whom are BIPOC, female, and/or LGBTQ+; a metric Taing is particularly proud of.In his spare time, Danny is an avid rock climber, fierce board game competitor, and, along with his husband, anime binge-watcher.Meet BokksuBokksu delivers authentic Japanese food and lifestyle products to customers around the world. Founded by Danny Taing in 2015, the New York and Tokyo-based D2C company partners with traditional makers throughout Japan to share their craft with over 100 countries via its snack subscription service, curated market of premium lifestyle goods, and online Asian grocery store. By providing Japan's traditional makers with a platform to share their goods with a global audience, Bokksu is helping to support, preserve, and promote their craft, while making it easier for the rest of the world to discover, buy, and love authentic Japanese goods. Bokksu is a proudly LGBTQ+ and AAPI-owned company.Connect with Bokksuhttps://www.linkedin.com/company/bokksu/https://www.instagram.com/bokksu/https://www.facebook.com/bokksuhttps://twitter.com/bokksuhttps://www.tiktok.com/@bokksuThis episode is supported by Penguin Random HouseThis month and every month, Penguin Random House invites readers to uplift AANHPI stories and #RepresentAsianStories! Thanks to our friends at Penguin Random House, I added Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng, Know My Name by Chanel Miller, and Fiona and Jane by Jean Chen Ho to my Asian American Book Shelf. We're also excited to read My Monster and Me by Nadia Hussain to our kids and to cook up amazing meals with recipes from Korean American by Eric Kim. For more incredible books by AANHPI authors, visit PRH.com/RepresentAsianStories! From page-turning fiction to hilarious memoirs, there's a book for everyone. Go to PRH.com/RepresentAsianStories to explore the lists!Today and everyday, support Asian American Native Hawaiian, and Pacific Islander authors and storytellers.// Support Dear Asian Americans:Merch: https://www.bonfire.com/store/dearasianamericans/Buy Me a Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jerrywonLearn more about DAA Creator and Host Jerry Won:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jerrywon/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jerryjwon/// Listen to Dear Asian Americans on all major platforms:Transistor.fm: http://www.dearasianamericans.comApple: https://apple.dearasianamericans.comSpotify: https://spotify.dearasianamericans.comStitcher: https://stitcher.dearasianamericans.comGoogle: https://google.dearasianamericans.com  Follow us on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/dearasianamericans Like us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/dearasianamericans Subscribe to our YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/dearasianamericans // Join the Asian Podcast Network:Web: https://asianpodcastnetwork.com/Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/asianpodcastnetwork/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/asianpodcastnetwork/Dear Asian Americans is produced by Just Like Media:Web: http://www.justlikemedia.comInstagram.com: http://www.instagram.com/justlikemedia

This episode is dear to my heart. I simply love sharing about how to use Social and Emotional Learning picture books to help people. This topic of books has been so helpful to me on my mental health journey. In today's episode, I am very honest about my social and emotional growth and what books you might use to help a child or friend or yourself, as well. Please share this episode with others who might benefit from its message. Below are the books that I discussed during this episode. Like I mentioned, they are my Amazon affiliate links that help me be able to buy and review more books. Thanks for your support. My Monster and Me Ruby Finds a Worry What If? The Night Before the Dentist The Creature of Habit The “Don't Worry” Book The Unicorn Came to Dinner Donut Worry Wemberly Worried Weasel is Worried The Whatifs Maybe My Amazon List for Social and Emotional Learning Open The Magic, Courtney Hinshaw -------Come hang out!-------- @ramonarecommends {instagram} Magic Wear Shop Ramonarecommends.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/courtney-hinshaw/support

Fun songs and games will help little trick-or-treaters get ready for the excitement of Halloween night. Kids will play a “Word Wizard” game by thinking of Halloween words that begin with a specific letter. Then they will sing silly songs like “My Monster, Frankenstein,” and “When You Go Trick-Or-Treating.” Little ghosts and goblins will learn important safety tips when trick-or-treating and listen to rhyming poems that will keep everyone happily entertained as they plan for Halloween night. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode we dig into one of the best from the master of body horror himself, David Cronenberg's 'The Brood'! We discuss the film, it's themes, and its complicated psychology with writer-director Izzy Lee, and chat everything you need to know about those little rage monsters. Special guest(s): Izzy Lee (director of Innsmouth, My Monster, and others) Co-host(s): Mike Vaughn (founder of The Video Attic, author) Luna Minuit (co-host of HFTDD and The Goth and The Sloth) Editor: Andre Couture

This week Liz and Alrik welcome writer, director, producer and actor, Larry Fessenden on the show to talk about his latest role in the new film Jakob's Wife. Larry talks about how he got the role in the film, how he treats his acting work differently than when he is behind the camera and we dive into how he has produced over 80 projects and directed over 20, including ten feature films. This is a really great conversation to illustrate the struggles of an indie filmmaker and to see how a sustainable career can be achieved with a ton of hard work. We also have filmmaker AJ Starzak on the show to talk about his new short film, My Monster and I, which is currently raising money on indiegogo and we read a slew of new youtube comments!

In this episode Gaby chats to the hugely talented cook, writer & presenter Nadiya Hussain MBE. They talk about her gorgeous cookbooks, most recently ‘Nadiya Bakes’ and her sweet children’s book ‘My Monster & Me’. She talks openly about her relationship with her mother, her own parenting and baking during lockdown. You’ll also hear about her incredible work helping to dispel myths about mental health in the Bangladeshi community. Plus, what it was like to bake for The Queen and a very sweet story about why Mary Berry is now The Queen in their household! Produced by Cameo Productions, music by Beth Macari.  Join the conversation on Instagram and Twitter @gabyroslin #thatgabyroslinpodcast  

With Election Day upon us... It's time to get political with filmmaker Izzy Lee. Izzy has directed such socio-political horror films as RE-HOME, MY MONSTER and THE OBLITERATION OF THE CHICKENS.  She was also named by The A.V. Club as one of the filmmakers Blumhouse should definitely hire.  Links: Nihil Noctem Films MY MONSTER by Izzy Lee RITES OF VENGEANCE Teaser

- Stacey Ballard I think the most important thing is that 40 percent of Americans live with at least one chronic illness, 40 percent of Americans. So we all know somebody who lives with chronic illness. And so we we know that those people are out there working right now, just like I had to work, whether I felt good or bad. So we just need to be nice to each other even.  You know, we need to understand that we're all going through something, whether it's chronic illness, whether it's addiction, whether you're in an abusive relationship. We are all we all have our own story of stress and what is causing issues in our life. I just wish we could be nicer to each other, more understanding.   INTRO Today, Stacey Ballard shares about living with multiple, chronic illnesses.  From hyperthyroidism to endometriosis to Crohn’s disease, and more, Stacey has spent most of her life under the shadow of sickness.  There is the revolving door of hospital visits, the grinding exhaustion, and the fragility of a body prone to illness.  Yet, Stacey is also a published author and artist who recently released a book called The Fine Art of Waiting, crafted to help others who are in a season of waiting…and, in the throes of COVID-19, isn’t that all of us?  I am happy to welcome Stacey to the show.  Stacey lives in the Lake Tahoe region of California, where she likes to walk with her dog in the Desolation Wilderness.      - Stacey Ballard And so it's really easy to get out in nature. I love kayaking on the lake and but I spend most of my time walking and just enjoying the air and the and the surrounding landscape.   These wide open spaces are a far cry from the bustling Bay area of San Francisco, where she grew up.  Life in the Bay was crowded, chaotic, and the pace of life contributed to her mounting illness.    - Liesel Mertes Would you set the scene for us of what you're growing up years were like? And as you look back, when you first think, oh, yeah, that those were signs of me being unwell.   - Stacey Ballard Absolutely, I was a skinny, nervous, clumsy little kid, and my family pretty much just thought that's the way I was.   - Stacey Ballard And actually I think it might have been coming up to Tahoe, were coming up into the elevation. I started having really bad symptoms, heart racing, vomiting. And so we started going to my doctor in the Bay Area.   - Stacey Ballard I think I was about nine years old and it took some blood tests and things like that. But that's when they discovered that I had hyperthyroid and and started treating me at with my local family physician.   - Liesel Mertes What was that like for you?   - Stacey Ballard Oh, the symptoms of hyperthyroidism, especially in a small child, nervousness, anxiety, sensitivity to emotional situations.   - Stacey Ballard Heart racing, no appetite.   - Stacey Ballard Yeah, so I was I was very nervous all the time, scared of everything, and and so the diagnosis was helpful because the problem did need to be taken care of because it was in a way that I could continue living. It would have caused more physical and mental problems if it wasn't taken care of. But, yeah, it was it was it was scary as a kid to be so emotionally raw all the time.   Stacey was emotionally raw, entering a complex medical system and web of doctors.    - Stacey Ballard that's when I remember one of my first traumas as a person living with chronic illness and living with doctor's appointments and things like that was that I remember being scared of getting my blood drawn at this big hospital.   - Stacey Ballard And I think by that time I might have been 10 or 11 years old. And I remember it took a number of people, probably five adults at least, to hold me down for them to take my blood.   Stacey Ballard And so the diagnosis was a small part of of what happened to me.   - Stacey Ballard It was the trauma of being a kid, going to doctors that really started to affect my life and my mental and emotional state.   Stacey’s family was also reckoning with the diagnosis.  She is the middle child, with an older and a younger sister.  And by that time, her parents had divorced.    - Stacey Ballard Emotionally dealing with a child, going through things like that, I don't know that many parents have the understanding or the coping abilities on how to navigate it.   Her dad was working full time and her mom was working part time…and then there were the drives to appointments and all of the uncertainty.    - Stacey Ballard My parents, I love them dearly, but but nobody teaches you how to deal with a sick child, and so it was very analytical.   - Stacey Ballard There wasn't a lot of there wasn't a lot of like, oh, how is this affecting you emotionally? I think they dealt with the terror in the moments, but then it was more about distracting me onto other things and getting my mind off things.   Stacey’s parents did their best, trying to keep her busy, trying to get the medications in balance.  When she was a preteen, she went through a procedure that purposefully destroyed her thyroid through radiation.    - Stacey Ballard So once you have your thyroid radiated, you drink radioactive iodine to destroy the thyroid or you have surgery to remove part of the thyroid to help with the hyper thyroid. But what that does is it induces hypothyroidism, which then you go from like, you know, bouncing off the walls to wanting to sleep all day.   - Stacey Ballard I'm gaining weight. I mean, I was I was a stick figure. I was skinny. Even though I didn't have an appetite, I could eat anything and not gain weight.   Stacey gained 40 pounds over the course of a month.  She was exhausted and sleeping all the time.  So she began to skip doses of her medication in hopes of losing weight.    - Stacey Ballard But because my child mind. Saw me gaining weight, saw myself getting more tired and my doctors telling me, oh yeah, this is what's working, this is what's right, I thought by doing the opposite, I was helping myself.   - Stacey Ballard Yeah. And because, you know, my mom, you know, worked full time. My dad was only around on the weekends. They didn't know.   There were so many stressors.    - Liesel Mertes How do you think that you were reckoning with that internally as a kid?   - Stacey Ballard I think as a kid, I was just trying to survive. Yeah. Looking back on it now, I. I see where I, I took on the victim role. And listen, I would never tell anybody else you acted like a victim at the time as a kid, I didn't know any better.   - Stacey Ballard I didn't want these diseases. I didn't ask for these diseases. I was doing my best to survive in the situation.   - Stacey Ballard Every every time my mom or dad would take me to a doctor's appointment, I would get the day off school. Mm hmm. After we go to the doctor's appointment, we'd go out for lunch or breakfast or get a treat.   - Stacey Ballard Yeah. And so I got their full attention.   - Stacey Ballard When your parents are working full time and and and and you have, you know, two other siblings and everyone's fighting for attention, I sucked up that time with my parents.   - Stacey Ballard And so I don't know that I thought of, like, why me? Oh, my gosh, poor me. I think I was thinking, oh, my gosh, I get to see my mom or my dad depending on who I was with.   - Stacey Ballard And, oh, we get to go out for for a treat.   - Stacey Ballard And oh, I get the day off school, which, by the way, I hated school. Yeah.   - Stacey Ballard And so and so. And then when, when my next diagnosis came at 13, 14 years old with endometriosis, although it wasn't a diagnosis, it was just symptoms.   Endometriosis is condition that causes pelvic pain and often also contributes to powerful pain during menstruation.  As Stacey began to feel these symptoms, she felt like the little boy who cried wolf.  As a chronic pain sufferer, she had often sounded the proverbial alarm…and now, no one believed her.    - Stacey Ballard I then got my period and immediately started having symptoms. Nobody believed me.   - Stacey Ballard Oh, you're it's just your period, period. That's just your period. And so, you know. In the back of my mind,   - Stacey Ballard I'm thinking there are some acute pain and discomfort and pain.   Yes, that was my main symptom of endometriosis. A lot of people have different symptoms, heavy bleeding and things like that. Mine was severe, severe pain. And so I know that as a young teenager, I did go to a couple of doctors and try to find out if this was wrong, immediately told no, this was normal deal with it. And so then for a couple of years, not understanding that there was something wrong, I just dealt with the symptoms which were horrific.   - Liesel Mertes Yeah. Well, and I imagine as you say that, that it's its own head trip. Right. Of like am I imagining things? Am I crazy? Should I trust my own body? Should I trust these other people? That, I imagine, in dealing with just the physical pain that that sort of mental disequilibrium only compounds that and makes it more challenging.   - Stacey Ballard Absolutely. I mean, I couldn't deny the physical pain.   - Stacey Ballard I would be in pain about three weeks a month if this was going to school as a teenager and also working part time and then as an adult, working full time and tried to go to college.   - Stacey Ballard And so.   - Stacey Ballard The the physical symptoms were unquestionable, so I began to hate my body because I didn't know what else to do, because the medical in industry was saying that's normal.   - Stacey Ballard Right. And I wasn't talking to other girls. I mean, even as a teenager, I had I remember having a few girlfriends in in high school, but I don't remember talking to them about this.   - Stacey Ballard And so I turned my pain towards my own body.   - Liesel Mertes Hmm. Yeah. What did that did that manifest itself in physical expressions or mostly a mental orientation? Tell me more about what that looked like.   - Stacey Ballard Mostly mental. I was very depressed, my thyroid.   - Stacey Ballard I talked to a lot of people about thyroid issues because what a doctor says is a normal level might not necessarily be a normal level for you.   - Stacey Ballard And so as far as like a 16 year old, you know, I'm dealing with three weeks out of the month of being in pain, my thyroid levels supposedly being at normal levels.   - Stacey Ballard And I am sleeping 12 hours a day or at night, you know, and so I'm depressed.   - Stacey Ballard I'm isolating myself.   - Stacey Ballard I did have art in my life, thank goodness I was a photography student in high school at the time, and so I think I would spend a lot of time distracting myself. But it is really hard to distract yourself when you're in that much physical pain.   - Stacey Ballard And so it was just depression. And then I started also having an anxiety disorder.   - Stacey Ballard Yeah. You know, and and I do deal with mental illness, depression, panic disorder. And it took me a long time to not blame myself for it and realize it's a brain chemistry thing. It is not a it's not a lack of drive or a lack of personality. It's it's the chemical factory in my brain that I have no control over. And that was that took me a long, long time to accept, right?   - Liesel Mertes What were some of those those messages of questioning whether it was just a problem with you or just loathing towards your body?   - Liesel Mertes Were those being expressed from external people at all, like, can you look back and think, man, people just they said really, you know, casual or purposefully hurtful things that just lingered with me?   - Stacey Ballard Yeah, I think a lot of people like me who look normal on the outside, we call it invisible illness.   - Stacey Ballard People did not believe me, people did not believe me. And my family didn't believe me. My friends didn't believe me. My boyfriend I had a high school boyfriend for like four years. He didn't believe me.   - Stacey Ballard And, you know, yeah, it is it is tough, especially when you look normal on the outside. And even if people see me curled up in pain crying on the floor, they can't understand that it's happening from the inside because they don't see anything physically hurting me, right?   - Liesel Mertes Well, and just, you know, as this is also for the benefit of listeners to do better in these interactions, I want to drill down a little bit. What did that not believing sound like from your family members or the boyfriend or the community?   - Stacey Ballard Well, you look beautiful. Well, I saw you at the amusement park yesterday, you looked fine then, gosh, you look like you were having fun. Well, gosh, what else do they say?   - Stacey Ballard Let's see. You know, I was I was working full time and also going when I when I left high school, I was working and then commuting into San Francisco to go to the Academy of Art and and.   - Stacey Ballard Because I had to I didn't have any other choice because in my family, you pull yourself up from your bootstraps, you have goals you need to meet because you have to survive this life, you know, and you have to have income. And so, you know, it was just it doesn't matter how you feel. Keep moving forward. Yeah.   - Liesel Mertes Oh, man, I, I resonate.   - Liesel Mertes Well, you and I both can translate some of those messages and have deeply received them. So I hear that because as you think about that, was I   - Liesel Mertes Was there like a breakthrough moment or experience where you can remember thinking, like I just know, like I have to rest. And that is actually more healthy for me right now, like where you were really consciously acting against some of that programming and messaging that like you just got to keep on pushing?   - Stacey Ballard I don't want to start crying, but, yeah, absolutely, I was I think I was twenty two by that time I had not been I had just barely been diagnosed with endometriosis.   Stacey Ballard That took me 10 years. I had not yet been diagnosed with Crohn's, even though I was living with symptoms. And by that time I was also unknowingly living with a rare autoimmune liver disease. And I met my now ex-husband, but his name is Gary and we met through a friend and he changed my life. Yeah. Yeah. He was the exact opposite of everything I had been taught.   - Liesel Mertes Yeah, tell me more about that life change and what what he brought to the table that was really important for you in that season.   - Stacey Ballard So my family, I love them very. Yeah, very driven. My family, we volunteer. We we help other people.   - Stacey Ballard We do our own stuff. I met Gary through a friend.   - Stacey Ballard I am an old Deadhead that says a lot to people who know what that means. Gary.   - Stacey Ballard We started dating and there was no drama in our relationship my whole life, I had spent becoming what other people needed me to be to make them happy.   - Stacey Ballard I never knew what I wanted because I didn't there wasn't space for that in my life up till then, I was kind of a loner.   - Stacey Ballard And so when I when I'd meet somebody who'd want to be friends with me, I'd be like, OK, you know, what do you like? OK, I like that too kind of thing.   - Stacey Ballard And and and until I met Gary and got in that relationship, I had never known or looked at what I wanted.   - Liesel Mertes Yeah, and he was able to open up some of those questions, what did you discover about yourself in your 20s?   - Stacey Ballard Well, unfortunately, three months after we started dating, I ended up in the hospital going under emergency surgery.   - Stacey Ballard So I didn't have a lot of time to find out very much.   - Stacey Ballard But what I did find was a soft place to fall. He he didn't necessarily ask me questions, but he said, look, I don't need to be fixed.   - Stacey Ballard There's no situation around you that needs to be fixed, you need to figure out what you want to do with your life, and that was both wonderful.   - Stacey Ballard And hard, yeah. To be left in that space of like, oh, wait, who am I now? And it wasn't until I was like twenty two that I had had that space to find that out and then Boom immediately went into surgery.   We will come back to that near-death experience in just a moment.  But I’d like to take a second to thank our sponsors.  Our first sponsor is FullStack PEO.  I am an entrepreneur and a small business owner.  And I know the annual hassle of shopping around for a health insurance plan.  Hours lost trying to navigate different options.  This is where FulLStasck PEO comes in.  They manage benefits for entrepreneurs and small-business owners, taking away the headache and providing great benefits for your people so that you can focus on growing your business.    We are also sponsored by Handle with Care Consulting.  It is hard to know what to do or say when someone is going through something hard (you already realize this, podcast listener) and sometimes, you need some extra help.  At Handle with Care Consulting, I offer targeted workshops, interactive keynotes, learning cohorts, and personal coaching options, empowering you to show care when it matters most.    Alright, bask to our story.  Stacey has just met Gary a few months earlier.  Before we hear about Stacey’s hospitalization in her early 20s, it is helpful to hear about another story.      - Stacey Ballard I, I don't know why I forget about my near-death experience, because that was the thing that changed my life first.   MUSIC UNDER THIS SECTION PLEASE, PERHAPS EMPHASIZING SOME OF THE ROCK/DRAMA   Stacey and her sister went to a Skid Row and Bon Jovi concert in Sacramento.    - Stacey Ballard I was like 18 or 19 years old, it was probably 90 or 100 degrees in Sacramento, and I had been illegally drinking in the parking lot and was pretty hammered by the time we went in to to get our our selves situated in front of the stage so we could be at the first part of the stage for the concert.   They were exhausted, hammered.  It was hot and the concert began.  Immediately, people began pressing towards the front.  It’s heavy rock music, and Stacey braces herself against the stage.    - Stacey Ballard And there's a lady next to me who's really, really drunk and she starts collapsing. And I know that if she collapses, she's going to be trampled.   Stacey struggles, with a few others, to hold her up.  And then, a man comes pressing through the crowd.    - Stacey Ballard I'm only five foot one, so he may have been like six two starts coming through the crowd, punching people out in the face with his fists.   He punches the lady she’s holding and, finally, security drags the woman away.   And by that time, I am drenched in sweat and I put my hand back on the barrier to steady myself again, and there's a girl in front of me and she rips my hands off the barrier.   - Stacey Ballard And at that point I start falling and I realize that I'm going to be trampled to death. And I have the classic near-death experience.   - Stacey Ballard I went into the light.   She experiences a sensation of unconditional love, of seeing her life in review, experiencing her actions through the eyes of others.  This is the end.   - Stacey Ballard And then all of a sudden I was back in the concerts and somebody was pulling me out of the crowd.   The experience causes her to delve into different religions, meditation, metaphysics for the next year or two.  Exploring the deeper meaning in the life she has been given.  She meets Gary and, a few months later is on a women’s spirituality trip when she starts to feel awful.  Her chiropractor recognizes signs of jaundice and sends her directly to the emergency room.    - Stacey Ballard I was completely neon yellow. I think I was twenty two years old.   She arrives at one hospital and has to leave because of insurance issues.  Next, to the county hospital. It is Thursday before the 4th of July weekend.    - Stacey Ballard I am so thankful for Highland Hospital. They saved my life.   - Stacey Ballard And so I was literally freaking out in the hospital because this is the first time I had ever been hospitalized. And they had me all hooked up on tubes and they said this was Thursday and they said, we're going to wait till Monday and we're going to do surgery on Monday.   - Stacey Ballard At this point, I had a tube down my throat because the bile in my stomach, I think, was causing problems. And so they were trying to drain fluid and stuff out of my stomach and having a tube down your throat. Is so traumatizing,   - Stacey Ballard I cannot even tell you I. I can't the people that are on ventilators right now, Jakovčić. And the people that are out there wearing masks, they just don't understand the trauma that all these covid patients are going through.   - Stacey Ballard I wasn't even on a ventilator at this point. I just had a N.G. tube down my throat.   - Stacey Ballard And and I begged the doctors at Highland Hospital, please don't make me wait four more days. I can't do this. I can't do this.   - Stacey Ballard Please don't make me wait four more days. I had doctors and nurses volunteer to skip their holiday weekends to come in on Friday and perform my surgery so I didn't have to suffer for more days.   - Stacey Ballard So I've seen the good and bad of doctors for sure, and so they took me into surgery on Friday halfway through surgery, things went really bad. I was under anesthesia. They pulled me out.   - Stacey Ballard My mom, they pulled me out into this room. My mom was standing on one side of me. Gary was standing on the other side of my surgery bed. And they showed an X-ray image up on the light board and they said, see this spot on her liver right here. If it's cancer, she'll have a year to live. If it's not cancer, she has a rare disease.   Ultimately, it was the rare disease, not cancer, and in the course of surgery, there was a breakdown where bile started leaking into her abdomen.    - Stacey Ballard which then started my almost 20 year journey of being hospitalized or having the surgery. Every year. On or around 4th of July for the next 15 years. Hmm. Because I believe when I was partially under anesthesia and the doctor says she might only have a year to live, I think my subconscious. Did something, and every year for the next 15 years, I'd be in the hospital or undergoing surgery on or around 4th of July, huh?   - Liesel Mertes Yeah, I think there are so many things that, like, science doesn't doesn't yet have language for about how our bodies keep the score and remember and hold things in our subconscious in ways that are profound like that. Absolutely.   In the course of these hospitalizations, Stacey is admitted and has to be put on a ventilator.  This was one of the traumatic experiences that still causes her PTSD.  - Stacey Ballard They use something called a cuff when they are weaning you off a ventilator to get you to start helping you to breathe on your own, regain your strength. But I had a big note up on my board saying, you know, don't put her on the cuff in the mornings because that's where the anxiety is at its worst.   But one morning, a nurse comes in on her rounds and wants to put Stacey on a cuff.  Her mom, who was there, objects, directing the nurse to the note.  Stacey, of course, can’t talk   - Stacey Ballard And this person did not have time to listen. And so she pulled me off my ventilator. She put the cuff on me, and I started banging on the the hospital table in front of me. And I started going into full blown panic attack like I was drowning because I couldn't breathe.   - Stacey Ballard And she stood there and watched me gasping for breath for a number of minutes.   - Stacey Ballard My mom froze, she she was in such terror at what was happening, she did not know what to do.   - Stacey Ballard And I think eventually she ran out of the room and got somebody. But it went on for a number of minutes until I was put back on the ventilator.   - Stacey Ballard And this is with me to this day when I wear a mask outside, it brings it up.   - Stacey Ballard And so I understand when people say they don't want to wear a mask outside and it's bothersome. And guess what? It bothers me, too. But I wear it because I do not survive getting COVID, so. Well, I guess what I was going to say is that a lot of people who live with chronic illness also deal with trauma that has happened to them if they have spent any time in hospitals or or long term care or dealt with doctors.   MUSICAL TRANSITION   - Liesel Mertes So in the midst of all of these ups and downs and, you know, the regularity, what what are you doing or learning for yourself in order to maintain any semblance of equilibrium? Like what? What is becoming important for you to just be living each day?   - Stacey Ballard One of the many things that is a continuing story through this is creativity.   - Stacey Ballard As a photographer in high school and I've also been a potter and now I do mixed media, I've always done some sort of art and I'm literally talking coloring books and crayons. Tinkerbell, Mickey Mouse, it didn't matter. I was doing something because for some reason, being creative in whatever way I could help me.   - Stacey Ballard And now I understand because there are studies out that prove why being creative and doing art helps, you know, lower cortisol levels helps reduce pain and stress.   - Stacey Ballard But back then, intuitively. I just it just helped and I was also at the same time learning about meditation and learning about alternative medicine and different ways to treat myself.   - Stacey Ballard And finally, at about 23 or 24, winding up on my therapist’s floor in a fetal position, being diagnosed with panic disorders and depression and being put on appropriate medication was a huge help.   - Liesel Mertes Yes. Yes. I think this you you talked a little bit about art and its importance in your story. That's something that you have segued into some of your professional involvements and a recent book that you have published. Tell me about what you have created for others out of your own experience.   - Stacey Ballard Thank you. Yes, my book is The Fine Art of Waiting Wellness through Creativity, and because I've lived most of my life with health issues, I've used art to help in my own healing.   - Stacey Ballard And I've created this book to help people decrease stress, change your relationship with illness and pain, and transform it into one of possibility and hope.   - Stacey Ballard It is, it's challenging right now for everybody. Everyone has different stress and everyone has different stories.   - Stacey Ballard Whether you live with addiction or the stress of of a health issue, we need to find ways creatively to deal with the stresses that come with life. Even more so right now. And that's why I created this book, is because art has been so helpful to me.   - Stacey Ballard And over the years, I created these little projects like My Monster, which is a project that you actually are drawing a monster, which at times have been my disease or my stress of the week.   - Stacey Ballard And then I tear it up or I stomp on it or I burn it and it gives me a feeling of sense of control. And so I've tried to put some of those projects in my book.   - Liesel Mertes Well, and you showed me some of the pages. It looks like there's a wide diversity of types of projects and ways of engaging. And I resonate like that, that the physical expression, sometimes there's so much that is going on within our heads or within our bodies. And to be able to, like, externalize some of those things is really powerful.   - Liesel Mertes Yes, I love that your book does that and you really want to make it accessible to all kinds of people. Tell me about the buy one. Give one that you're doing also with this book.   - Stacey Ballard Absolutely. So there's a couple different versions. I specifically wanted to have a spiral bound version because I know being in the hospital, even just coloring and coloring books, is hard to hold down one side of the page and color on the other when you have IVs on both arms and things like that. So one of my books specifically is a spiral bound version and that one is twenty one ninety five.   - Stacey Ballard It has a color, it has a sample page in color, so you can look at it and get some ideas. I do have a version on Amazon that's not spiral bound and it's nineteen ninety five.   - Stacey Ballard But for any book that is purchased I will give one to somebody who's living with chronic illness who can benefit from having a book.   - Stacey Ballard There is a section on my website where you can nominate yourself or somebody else for a free copy because I've lived with chronic illness most of my life and have lived with disability as well. I've been low income and so I may not have been able to afford this book when I needed it. And so for anybody who can't afford it, come to my website, nominate yourself. Or if you know somebody who needs a book, please go to my website and we'll give that information and nominate them for a book.   - Stacey Ballard I will be happy to send one to them.   - Liesel Mertes I love that I'm struck, even as you say, that, you know, like for most of my life, I've been low income and this is something that I like to ask about any range of disruption.   - Liesel Mertes But that is perhaps, you know, that statement is a stepping stone into the question of   - Liesel Mertes what are some of the things that you feel like people who have never dealt with chronic illness, they just don't understand about what it's like to live with chronic illness? What are some of the things that would be helpful for you to give voice to?   - Stacey Ballard I think the most important thing is that 40 percent of Americans live with at least one chronic illness, 40 percent of Americans.   - Stacey Ballard So we all know somebody who lives with chronic illness.   - Stacey Ballard And so we we know that those people are out there working right now, just like I had to work, whether I felt good or bad. So we just need to be nice to each other even.   - Stacey Ballard You know, we need to understand that we're all going through something, whether it's chronic illness, whether it's addiction, whether you're in an abusive relationship.   - Stacey Ballard We are all we all have our own story of stress and what is causing issues in our life. I just wish we could be nicer to each other, more understanding.   - Stacey Ballard And and and for me, as far as seeing people out there not wearing masks, I just keep saying 40 percent of Americans live with chronic illness and a lot of them are out there working because we have to we have to work because we have to pay bills and we don't have a choice because a lot of us also have to be on medications that we cannot live without.   - Stacey Ballard And, yeah, it's it's it's a desperate situation. And that's why I'm also trying to get politically involved with what's going on as well.   - Liesel Mertes Does it does it make you but I'm putting perhaps my emotions into it. I was going to say, does it make you really angry to see people who are not wearing masks? But maybe anger is not your go to what you feel when you see people who are not wearing masks?   - Stacey Ballard It's heartbreaking. And it does make me angry. I was in CVS picking up a prescription and I haven't been to a store in months because I can't after my transplant, when I almost didn't survive, I was on a ventilator for three months and I have lung damage due to that and also due to a doctor's. Mishandling of another treatment I had I also have lung damage from that, but I looked normal and that's the problem is that we don't we don't wear our stories on our faces.   - Stacey Ballard And so we can't see how we're hurting people. And I think people are just being selfish. Wearing a mask is easy. Doctors do it all the time. Nurses do it all the time. And I worry about the doctors and the nurses that we're putting in danger, too, because they're load of patients is is continuing. And the stress of that is is not helping as well. And I worry about our our people working in grocery stores and banks and the places that have to be open.   - Stacey Ballard I live in a tourist town. I live in Lake Tahoe, California.   - Stacey Ballard We are busier than we would be on a normal holiday weekend. And we have people up here not wearing masks traveling up here from the Bay Area. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say, I just say to the people who are living with chronic illness, take care of yourselves because nobody else is going to do it for you.   - Liesel Mertes Yeah, I hate that sense of. Of isolation, but there's there's a truth to it, you know, we we would like to we would like to think that we had more of a sense of community of care around those that needed it. But.   - Liesel Mertes Well, thank God for you, though. People caring it is exceptional. Yes. Because and it's and it's worthy of being called out and praised because there is there's so much of that that has frayed around the edges in our social discourse and expressions.   - Stacey Ballard And that's what's so important about what you're doing, is that you're creating this community of understanding with your podcast and and listening to your other podcasts.   - Stacey Ballard No, I don't share the same stories as your other interviews or listeners, but what understanding I gain from listening to their stories.   - Stacey Ballard And so by by having this podcast, you you are you're destroying the isolation, which I love.   - Liesel Mertes Well, thank you. I that is definitely part of my aim. And man, I get to I get to receive some really important reflective stories. So I'm I'm always thankful to be able to help hold them. So thank you.   - Liesel Mertes I'm struck that there's the there's the the toxic like don't do these things.   - Liesel Mertes What are things that would be helpful if somebody is listening and they go, wow, yeah. I do know that person who walks with a chronic illness and maybe they're even thinking to themselves, oh my gosh, I've done some of the stupid things I've said, like, well, you look fine, you know, but and they want to do differently what is meaningful to you?   - Liesel Mertes What are like good ways that people have supported you, that you think, man, that was so good.   - Stacey Ballard What a great question. First, if you ask me, is there anything you could do to help me, I'm going to say, no, I'm OK. Mm hmm. But if you bring me over a casserole, I will love you forever. And when I'm feeling better, if you need me to change tires on your car, I will do that for you.   - Liesel Mertes Yeah, I'm just showing up. Showing up.   - Stacey Ballard If the person doesn't have an advocate, if the person doesn't have someone to go to doctor's appointments with them, I think that's one of the most important things that I tell people who have friends or even people living with chronic illness who go to doctors appointments by themselves.   - Stacey Ballard Don't you are not in the state to hear everything you need to hear and you need to be prepared.   - Stacey Ballard Ask a friend or a family member who you trust, who you can feel comfortable with to go with. You have a list of questions you want answered, but have that support with you. So if you know somebody who lives with chronic illness, ask them, do you need somebody to go to your appointments with you? If they go, oh no, don't worry about it, go away.   - Stacey Ballard You know, can I go and take notes for you or, you know, do you need me to drive you to get your blood drawn?   - Stacey Ballard A lot of us who live with chronic illness feel like a burden not only financially because we struggle so much with our income, but emotionally and mentally because I am not going to get better.   - Stacey Ballard This is my life, and that's OK. Healing doesn't always mean you survive.   - Stacey Ballard But it means you can walk the path with as much. Of an open heart as possible, and and so if you have friends living with chronic illness, just ask tell me more.   - Stacey Ballard Tell me more.   - Liesel Mertes Yeah, that's a that's a good thing to take way of thinking if if someone if somebody already experiences themselves as a perceived burden, you know, what am I doing to reinforce that or alleviate that?   - Liesel Mertes You've said this kind of throughout, but if there's someone who is listening, who they are, you know, they're walking a journey with life long chronic illness, what words would you offer to them?   - Stacey Ballard Find support. I'm sorry you're not alone.   Stacey Ballard It's hard, not everyone understands.   - Stacey Ballard I don't know if I can mention this and you're welcome to edit it out, but   - Stacey Ballard I have found a wonderful support group for people living with chronic illness called Beyond My Battle.   - Stacey Ballard And actually, they also have support groups for your caretakers, which would have been a huge resource for me and my ex-husband as we were going through this, if he had more support as a caretaker.   - Stacey Ballard So please reach out for support. If you don't find the right support, it doesn't mean to you it could mean it's them. I've been in some pretty negative support groups that I was like, oh, no, I am not staying with this one.   - Stacey Ballard So keep searching because there are people out there like me who we have pity parties for ourselves.   - Stacey Ballard And I have really bad days where I can't get out of bed, but I am going to suck every beautiful piece of life out of this life that I can. And I, I invite anybody who wants to do that to join me.   - Stacey Ballard And, you know, well, that's that's where art helps me.   - Stacey Ballard And, you know, I can take that and turn it into a really dark piece and I have and because it gets it out of my head and gives me some sense of control over it because I can't, I can't, I can't do anything with it because it's in the past.   - Stacey Ballard I can't manipulate it any more because it's already been experienced.   - Stacey Ballard But I can manipulate the feelings I have from it that at times get get, you know, hard   - Liesel Mertes That's powerful, that I mean, it's not revolutionary. But even just the way you said it, like something has happened to you, it exists as it.   - Liesel Mertes But even that like the physical act of being able to render and manipulate it in a certain way. Yeah. Has its own power in experiencing it.   MUSICAL TRANSITION   Here are three take-aways from my conversation with Stacey As a person living with chronic pain, Stacey could often experience herself as a burden:a financial burden, a logistical burden:  someone who would not get better.  My first-takeaway is just a question:  If you know someone that is living with chronic pain, are you subtly or explicitly reinforcing those messages?  Perhaps the messages are subtle.  Do you sigh loudly when they express bodily pain?  Roll your eyes?  Or do you give positive messages:  you are important, you are more than your pain, you have a place here.  Offer to come along to doctor’s appointments, to take notes, to drive.The flow of information can be overwhelming, and company is often appreciated. If you are living with chronic pain, finding a support group can be really meaningful.Perhaps that is locally or through the Internet.  Support groups can also be helpful to care providers as they shoulder a particular burden.  And, as Stacey noted, not all groups are created equal.  If the group isn’t working for you, don’t be afraid to move on and seek out another support group.  And this is a last, bonus take-away.If you don’t know what to say, “Tell me more,” is a great prompt.  Stacey noted the importance of this phrase.  You might have noticed that I unconsciously did this earlier in the interview.  I don’t know a lot about chronic pain…which meant that I didn’t really even know what to ask.  However, by just opening myself up to her story with an open-ended question, I learned a lot.    OUTRO   Link to Stacey’s Blog and Work:  https://fineartofwaiting.com    

This week, Mary Beth and Terry talk to writer and director Izzy Lee. They dive into her twisted sense of humor, post-nihilism, and being a latchkey kid. They also delve into the black comedy of An American Werewolf In London, its practical effects, and taboo in horror. Izzy also shares a story about John Landis and ice cream. Get ready. Follow Izzy: @NihilNoctemFilm Watch her shorts: My Monster https://youtu.be/4_BhlMbFCjQ Rites of Vengeance https://youtu.be/Ki1bCJ6KY60 Follow the podcast: @ScarredPodcast Follow Terry: @GaylyDreadful Follow Mary Beth: @mbmcandrews

Chapter 29, continued, now there’s definitely hope, My Father, My Monster

Chapter 10, The sword, the plan in motion. My Father, My Monster

My Father, My Monster , Chapter 3, I now could feel the pain my mother must have felt back when she was being abused by my father

Hey there word nerds! Today, I have the pleasure of interviewing Amanda Noll and Howard McWilliam, author and illustrator of the I Need My Monster picture book series. Amanda Noll was born and raised in Canberra, Australia and immigrated to the United States as a teenager. After marrying her college sweetheart, she began working in the purchasing division of a private university (which is ironic, since she despises shopping). She left the business world to attend to the business of raising children and concentrate on her writing. As her kids grew up, she completed a Master’s degree in Education and became an Elementary School Librarian.  Amanda blames her fundamentally twisted sense of humor on either genetics or being raised on a steady stream of Australian humor and sci-fi. She currently lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and children. Howard McWilliam left his career as a U.K. financial magazine editor and journalist in 2005 to concentrate on illustrating. He is cover artist for The Week in the U.S. and U.K. and has illustrated dozens of children’s novels, puzzles, and picture books, including the bestselling I Need My Monster series. He lives in Cheltenham, England, with his wife Rebecca and three young sons. In this episode, Amanda, Howard and I discuss: The inspiration behind the My Monster series How one book turned into a series  How the author-illustrator relationship works Navigating the line between safe and scary for kids Making picture books accessible for boy and girl readers Plus, their #1 tips for writers. For more info and shownotes: www.diymfa.com/280

09/11/2019: How can books help us cope in trying times, particularly if you are a child? My Monster and Me by Nadiya Hussain is a beautiful picture book that tackles worry and anxiety, Jemima Small Vs. The Universe by Tamsin Winter explores body image and online bullying, and finally The Boy at the Back of the Class by Onjali Q Rauf navigates subject matter that even adults struggle to articulate. Reviewer Tamara Clarke, author of The Super Surfer which tackles the tricky subject of internet safety, and former school librarian and current Children’s Programme Advisor at the Emirates Literature Foundation Yvette Judge, share how books can help or hinder in difficult circumstances.  

This week we are joined by filmmaker IZZY LEE (Re-Home, My Monster, Rites of Vengeance) to talk about the cult classic Halloween III. Yes, it's the one without Michael Myers, but unlike A New Beginning, the Tommy Lee Wallace film has gathered both fan and critical appreciation over the decades. We talk with Izzy about why this movie works, what makes Tom Atkins so great, and why representation and different voices in art matter. As a bonus feature, the episode kicks off with Jerry's daughter Dahlia, and my daughter Ada giving their picks for must-watch movies this Halloween season. 

Nadiya was just 21 when she gave birth to her first child, Musa, in 2006. Although she was hoping for a quick and stress-free birth, her labour ended up taking 5 days from the first contractions to her baby finally being born. She and Clemmie discuss how her anxiety stopped her from attending antenatal classes, how sustaining a 3rd/4th degree tear during birth impacted her relationship with her son in the first few weeks of his life, and how ice lollies were an important part of her post-birth recovery. They also take a listener question about having a second child after an episiotomy.Nadiya's books Finding My Voice and My Monster and Me are out now: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1472259963/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1, https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1444946439/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i4This is the last episode in series 1, stay subscribed to be the first to hear about series 2, which will be coming soon.Follow Clemmie's Mother of Daughters account: instagram.com/mother_of_daughters/Follow Clemmie's Gas and Air account: instagram.com/gasandair/Clemmie's book How to Grow a Baby and Push It Out is available now: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Grow-Baby-Push-Out/dp/1785040383Birth Stories is produced by Hannah Varrall and created by Off Script*This podcast is not to replace medical advice. Always speak to your midwife or doctor if you have any concerns.* See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Even with a broken heart she’s still so awesome.I just think you're beautiful and I wanna take you home.Will you miss me when I’m gone?Does your mind play tricks on you too?My tastebuds are so confused…I like my coffee strong like a big black cupcake.Are you all in?Do you dream?I’m a no body...My Monster is behind me right now.What’s your Monster?Do you even know?I wanna love you so hard my heart feels like water and I flow all over you like a wave, and I make you so wet your drippin' and we can’t stop it so we’re both wet and feels so delicious like chocolate cheesecake and banana splits on a nice set of tits, and we can’t stop eating it, so we devour the whole thing, and we go back for more and the next thing you know we’re married, (oh shit) and we have this life and it feels like forever and it is until the love fades like it always does (always does). But I don’t think that’ll happen with us cuz, I think when you love like water does (we're water), it lasts forever so long as you keep going with the flow (growing with the flow). So long as you keep the flow at the right temperature, it’ll stay really good (yeah really good) and it gets better the warmer it gets, but it’s nice to take breaks and cool it down a bit, but never to freezing cold and never boiling hot cuz those extremes are not true love…and that’s what I want.True love.With you. And even though my hearts been broken a million times before, I think you're the glue to helping me heal in ways that I didn’t know was possible. So without further ado...Allow me to introduce you to me and you (hello me and you).The most beautiful love story ever written in advance, and even though we haven't happened yet, I know it's happening soon (really soon). Cuz I know you’ve been waiting for me and I’ve been waiting for you, and I believe we should just stop waiting and just be ready and let go of the fear of losing love again, and just fall in love like water did with the ocean (yeah I agree)…Or wait…Is water the ocean or is ocean the place where water goes?So, is the ocean just a hole or does the water create the hole, ya know? (yeah I dunno). I dunno….But I do know, I can’t stop thinking about you and it's stressing me out cuz, I want us to be real, not just something I dream about.LET’S BE SOCIALConnect with me via my favourite hangouts;+ @ ArtistSarahLong on Instagram+ @AlcoholInkArtStories+ Art Stories Site+ Confessions of an Empath

Patreon only! Here's a recording of the play MY MONSTER done by Bill and Trace Beaulieu LIVE at DragonCon in Atlanta way back in 2010. It's a reading of the short comic theater piece co-written by Joseph Scrimshaw and Bill, discussed in the interview with Joseph. Trace performed this with no rehearsal at all and completely killed. With live audience laughing, and sometimes not! A li'l bit of history.

Greetings, and welcome back to Horror Business. We have one awesome episode in store for you guys. In this episode we’re talking about 2015’s The Invitation and 2018’s You Were Never Really Here. We’re joined on this episode by Izzy Lee of Nihil Noctem Films. First and foremost we want to give a shoutout to our sponsors over at Lehigh Valley Apparel Creations, the premiere screen-printing company of the Lehigh Valley. Chris Reject and his merry band of miscreants are ready to work with you to bring to life your vision of a t-shirt for your business, band, project, or whatever else it is you need represented by a shirt, sweater, pin, or coozy. Head on over to www.xlvacx.com to check them out. Also, thank you to our Patreon subscribers. Your support means the world to us and we are eternally grateful for that support. Thanks! We start with Izzy talking some of her recent projects, including a screening of her recent film My Monster at several different festivals, as well as the premiere of her short film The Obliteration Of The Chickens, as well a horror script she is working on, some short horror fiction pieces she’s working on for the book Tales From The Crust, a screening of the documentary Hail Satan, and the film Tone Deaf, Justin talks about seeing Captive State and the Netflix series Love, Death, And Robots, and Liam talks about finishing the comic book Harrow County and seeing the film Slice. We begin by talking about The Invitation. We begin by giving a brief summary of the film, and how the movie has a very “Los Angeles” feel to it, which lends it a dreamy look. Izzy explains why she chose the film and her initial reaction to it. We discuss the concept of the protagonist as an unreliable narrator and the source what causes him to be an unreliable narrator. Some of the themes of the film, including paranoia, grief, inadequacy, and alienation are discussed. We briefly touch upon the performance of John Carroll Lynch and the sinister air it lends to the film. The success of the tone of uncertainty the film manages to maintain up until the end is discussed.   The theme of “the beautiful pain of being alive” is dissected. Izzy talks about how these two films she picked are more “thrillers that focus on the destruction of the family unit, grief, losing a loved one, and the terrors of being alive” and how these elements are the “real life horror” that make the genre so wonderful and personal to her. There is a brief discussion on the nature and definition of “horror” in horror films. We finish by discussing again on the nature of grief and how difficult it may be to move from a tragedy while being involved with a social group of people equally affected by the tragedy. Next up is You Were Never Really Here. We begin by giving a brief summary of the film. Izzy explains why she chose the film to discuss, stating that the film is both underseen and underrated and talking briefly about Lynne Ramsay’s background. The sparseness of the plot and how it serves the story are discussed, and how the emotional journey is the major point of the film. Justin talks about his initial disinterest in the film due to his skepticism of another film about an angry white man on the warpath and how this films sets itself apart from the pack of similar inferior films, including the tragic nature of a character who may very well be damaged beyond repair but is nonetheless compelled to continue living, and how the sparseness of the film lends to the overall sparseness of the story. The film’s choice to avoid the “redemption through violence” trope and its lack of romance and style is dissected. Some of the unconventional moments in the film are discussed, as are some of the films technical aspects. The idea “the films we love rarely love us back” is touched upon. We conclude by talking about the films abrupt shift in tone in the very last scene with the final line of dialogue. As always thanks to everyone and anyone who donated on Patreon,

This week, we're presenting stories about the difficulties of following instructions -- whether it's medical advice or a recipe.  Part 1: Science writer Cassandra WIllyard is frustrated by the restrictions put on her during her pregnancy. Part 2: Comedian Joseph Scrimshaw is terrified of messing up when his new museum job requires him to bake. Cassandra Willyard is a freelance science journalist who likes long walks, international travel, and infectious diseases, the more neglected the better. She earned a BS in Biological Aspects of Conservation (and a certificate in drinking) from the University of Wisconsin and an MA in Science Writing from Johns Hopkins University. She also served as Peace Corps volunteer in Bolivia. You can read her work in Discover, Popular Science, and Nature. She also blogs regularly for The Last Word on Nothing. After spending several years in New York City, Cassandra moved back to Midwest. She now lives in Madison with her husband and daughter. But she still enjoys sarcasm and wearing black.    Joseph Scrimshaw is a comedian, writer, and host based in Los Angeles, as well as a Story Collider producer. As a comedian, he’s appeared at SF SketchFest, Chicago Improv Festival, Dragon Con, headlined on Jonathan Coulton’s JoCoCruise, appeared on Wil Wheaton’s TableTop, and more. Joseph has written for Adult Swim,  the movie riffing group, RiffTrax, Screen Junkies, and was a writer/performer on Wits, where he wrote sketches for Paul F. Tompkins, Dave Foley, Neil Gaiman, and more. Joseph’s plays Adventures in Mating, An Inconvenient Squirrel, and My Monster (written with Bill Corbett) have been performed all over the US, the UK, and strangely Bulgaria. His popular comedy podcast Obsessed is part of the Feral Audio podcast network and has been listed as a Staff Favorite on iTunes multiple times. Joseph also co-hosts the Star Wars podcast feed, ForceCenter. Joseph has released multiple comedy albums including 2015’s Rebel Scum and 2013’s Flaw Fest. John Hodgman said of the album, “I am glad Joseph Scrimshaw has the power of thought and audible speech, or else this very funny album would not exist.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to another episode of The Gargyle Podcast!  Continuing our coverage of the Chattanooga Film Festival, tonight Daniel, Tim, and I discuss some of the most "fun" movies of the weekend.  All of the movies discussed in tonight's episode were either horror or violent in nature, some of which were very, very bloody...hence the "fun" being in quotes.  They were violent and bloody, but they also look like they were a lot of fun to make and they are definitely fun to watch (if you enjoy horror)!  Even though these were some of the most fun movies of the weekend (and personally some of my favorites of the weekend!)...just talking about them is nowhere near as much fun in comparison as watching them.  So, hopefully our discussions did justice to just how much fun these movies were and how much we loved them!  Tonight's movies include The Ranger, My Monster (short film), All the Creatures Were Stirring, Rock Ste

Monsters and Socio-Political Horror With Izzy Lee!

This episode we read My Monster and Me, by Natalie Osborne, with special guest Michelle Green Smith.   For more information about Michael Empson's master class Becoming A Chameleon: Fearless Character Development, visit www.williamsburgplayers.org.   If you would like to submit a 10 minute play for consideration, please contact literary@panglossian.org. For more information about Panglossian Productions, visit www.panglossian.org.   For more information about Zodiak Productions, visit www.zodiakproductionsllc.org.

BLONDIE --- Fun . Blondie publicarán el 5 de mayo su undécimo álbum de estudio, 'Pollinator', editado a través de BMG. El primer single se titula 'Fun' y ya está disponible. El disco está producido por John Congleton y cuenta con canciones escritas por Blondie, Johnny Marr, Sia, Dev Hynes, Charli XCX, Dave Sitek (TV On The Radio), Nick Valensi (The Strokes) El dúo clásico de escritores de Blondie, Chris Stein y Debbie Harry, están presentes en el corazón de la creación de Pollinator. El batería fundador del grupo, Clem Burke, también proporciona su energía. Además, a lo largo del camino, Joan Jett y Laurie Anderson han hecho apariciones en el estudio ('Doom or Destiny') junto con The Gregory Brothers ('When I Gave Up On You'). Blondie ya ha anunciado fechas para abril de 2017 en Australia y Nueva Zelanda, que pronto serán seguidas por las fechas de conciertos en Estados Unidos y Canadá (verano de 2017), Reino Unido y Europa. Las canciones del disco son Doom or Destiny, Long Time, Already Naked, Fun, My Monster, Best Day Ever, Gravity, When I Gave Up On You, Love Level, Too Much y Fragments. Blondie son: Debbie Harry, Chris Stein, Clem Burke, Matt Katz-Bohen, Leigh Foxx y Tommy Kessler.

This week Justin and Karissa break down Scrubs season 2 episodes 9 and 10 "My Lucky Day" and "My Monster." The two discuss how they can't help but to feel for Elliot. A few show notes: The podcast name has changed to "My Scrubs Podcast." It's the same show, but a better name. New logos are coming soon. Stitcher and iTunes information updates soon as well. Email Justin and Karissa at: MyScrubsPodcast@gmail.com. Follow Justin on Twitter @justinbuchanan and on Instagram @justinjbuchanan

Chrissy Tignor, assistant professor of contemporary writing and production, is a producer, engineer, songwriter, and remix artist, often producing in the pop/EDM genres under the name Data Child. In this episode, Tignor talks about the programs she's started at Berklee, the skills students need to keep up with an ever-changing technological landscape, and gives us a snippet of the new track "Master of My Monster," a song she produced in collaboration with British-based singer Corrina Taylor.

Spooksville head writer Jim Krieg is joined by Katie Douglas (Sally), Nick Purcha (Watch) and episode director Neill Fearnley to provide a running commentary on the episode entitled Oh Monster, My Monster."Watch uses Frankenstein's monster to stand up to bullies."

Spooksville head writer Jim Krieg is joined by Katie Douglas (Sally), Nick Purcha (Watch) and episode director Neill Fearnley to provide a running commentary on the episode entitled Oh Monster, My Monster."Watch uses Frankenstein's monster to stand up to bullies."

David Darmsteader guests with Massive on Why he left after 21 years in AA.  His journey through the healing process in the Peruvian Jungle.  Ayahuasca Healing Explained by David. Had more healing there then in 21 years in AA. David's book is being made into a feature film. Join us for a introspective discussion on why some leave the "rooms" after 2 decades. And why does the phone stop ringing when one moves on. Were they really your friends or ...not?

David Darmsteader guests with Massive on Why he left after 21 years in AA.  His journey through the healing process in the Peruvian Jungle.  Ayahuasca Healing Explained by David. Had more healing there then in 21 years in AA. David's book is being made into a feature film. Join us for a introspective discussion on why some leave the "rooms" after 2 decades. And why does the phone stop ringing when one moves on. Were they really your friends or ...not?