Coaching through Chaos Podcast

Dr. Wendy Bruton, host of "I Used to be a Therapist" podcast has lived a few lives.  She joins me to talk about how and why she decided to pivot out of her chosen profession as a licensed psychologist after a year-long battle through a professional trauma. Hear how she works to help women now, how this former university professor and researcher adopted essential oils into her life, and what she has to say after being married to her high school sweetheart for more than 3 decades. In this episode, we discuss:Deciding to pivot and shift professionallyThe toll professional trauma can take on your personal lifeHow she discovered a usefulness for essential oils in her life and her current workThe results she and her clients are finding with the use of the oilsSage advice on keeping a love going through the decadesYou can listen to  "I Used to Be A Therapist"  on your favorite podcast platform (the link i included takes you to the episode I was on where Wendy explored how I was dealing with family dynamics as my life shifted through trauma  and  unofficially adopting my sister). Follow Wendy on IG: I Used to be a TherapistWork with Dr. Wendy at The Essentially Better Life Get her book: Essentially Better: Essential Oils for People with FeelingsAre You enjoying The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast? If you'd like to support the show, here's 2 ways that won't cost you a dime ;) Leave a 5 star review right hereUse my Amazon shop link when you shop on Amazon. Besides finding every book every featured on the show on The Coaching Through Chaos Bookshelf, any purchase you make through that link permits Amazon to send a small portion of your purchase price to support the production of the show.  This does not add any costs to your purchase, so go a ahead and try it out.,.,.. Amazon.com/shop/DrColleenMullenFollow me: on Facebook: Facebook.com/CoachingThroughChaoson IG (where you'll find me most of the time): Instagram.com/DrColleenMullenGet my book: The 60 day Plan for Embracing Your Inner Leader! Work With ME- Improve your Confidence,  Strengthen your Relationships, Break behavior Patterns that aren't working for you, and see what I have to offer if you're  small business owner - you can find out all about my work at CoachingThroughChaos.com   

We all know we will lose people we love during our lifetime, but there is a special kind of pain when you lose a child. Shelly Buck's son, Ryder, got diagnosed with cancer when he was 22. He recovered quickly from that, only to be killed in a roadside accident some months later. Shelly talks about surviving the unthinkable loss of a child, while still being Mom to her other kids and about how the family survives. Shelly wrote a book about her experience with her best friend, Kathy Curtis, who happens to be a grief coach. The book is Leave Your Light On: The Story of An Illuminating Spirit. Join us to hear her story and ways people cope through grief. The timing of this episode was that it was recorded just 2 days after losing one of my brothers to cancer. I think just going ahead and keeping the recording appointment was helpful to me in my own grieving process.  Please take a listen. The book combines the reflections of Shelly Buck, along with entries from Ryder's own journal and commentary from his friends. Ryder was a talented and creative young man, who was only moments into adulthood when his life was taken. You can find the book, as you can with all the authors who have appeared on the Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, on the CTC Bookshelf. If you'd like to work with Kathy Curtis for some assistance through your grieving process, you can find her at: Kathy Curtis Ink Thank you for taking te time ourt of your day to listen to this episode. If you have any suggestions of topics or guests you'd like to hear from, just reach out to me on Instagram or Facebook  If you've been enjoying the Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, there's a few ways you can support the show:1. Become a patron on Patreon. For as little as the cost of 1 fancy cup of coffee a month, you can support the show as well as get some freebies from me. For just a few dollars more, check out the Chaos Crushers tier so you can get exclusive self-help recordings each month for more chaos crushing tips!2. Leave me a review  You can leave a review on whichever platform you listen to the show. It really helps others find it and can even push it up the screen to the featured shows.3. Share an episode you enjoyed on your social media. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are great platforms for sharing podcast episodes. You just share hit "share" on the platform you're listening on and you can then post the link on your social media page.

How can one night in the DJ booth can get your business spinning in the right direction? That's some of what my conversation with Amani Roberts, AKA DJ AmRo of the Amani Experience, focuses on. Amani takes his knowledge of marketing, hospitality and the DJ business and creates ideas around how to help your business get off the ground.  In this episode, we discuss: How one night out gave him the vision of his career.What are the markers of a good brandWhat Amani learned in the hospitality business that helped him in his entertainment business and vice versa.How and why he teachesWhy everyone should try a night in the DJ booth!You can follow Amani:On IGOn Twitch The Podcast : The Amani ExperienceThe Book: DJs Mean Business The Website:  AmaniExpereince.com/Buzz If You are enjoying The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast,  I'd love for you to think of supporting the show in 1 of 3 ways:Leave a  5-Star Review on your favorite podcast playing app. Positive reviews help the show continue to grow - Thank you to all that have already taken the time to leave a positive review. Shop on Amazon with my shop link!   When you show for anything you would normally buy on Amazon and use my link: Amazon.com/shop/DrColleenMullen, you help support the production costs of the show. You don't  pay and extra dime, but I get a small percentage of the cost of the goods purchased.  It's a win-win for us both! Become  patron on Patreon. On Patreon, you can sign up for special levels of support .  Each of the 4 levels of monthly support comes with their own exclusive content! This ranges from shout outs, to a free e-book, to  free self-help content I record just for my patrons - to even 20 minute monthly coaching sessions with me!  However you choose to support my podcast, I am so grateful.  And I thank each and everyone of you who has gotten this far to read this post.  There are a few thousand of you listening each month and I really can't explain how exciting and humbling that is for me.  THANK YOU! I hope to see you between epsiodes over on IG/FB or Twitter @DrColleenMullen 

Ben Preston helps young professionals understand their strengths, sort through their blockages and helps them design a path to the career they've dreamed of.

Let's face it, 2020 has been like the toxic, chaotic boyfriend who won't go away.   I wish I had the definitive answer for how to get him out of all of our lives, but I don't. What I do have, however, is a collection of podcast episodes I've been creating over the last 5 years to help you learn ways to conquer the chaos in your life. So, since chaotic 2020 needs some extra resources to get conquered, I've put together a sampling of some of my favorite episodes for you. There are so many resources right here for you:Becoming more Resilient: Christian Moore is a guy who learned how to overcome a learning deficiency, low self-esteem,  and hopelessness about the future to now teach both adults and kids about how to be resilient. Christian was raised on the streets with little guidance. The love of a neighbor helped him conquer his childhood demons. His book, The Resilience Breakthrough, can be found on the CTC Bookshelf, and his program, "Why Try?" is implemented in over 12,000 organizations across the US and Canada. Listen to what he has to say about the pow  er of resiliency.  Virtual Reality Treatment for Phobias and Combat Trauma: The Virtual Reality Medical Center is equipped to help you overcome your every fear, utilizing virtual reality techniques.  They even work with the military personnel, both pre & Post deployment to help decrease the incidences of long-term problems from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Financial Compatibility for Couples: Jeff Motske, a Certified Financial Planner and CEO/President of Trilogy Financial has been helping couples explore their relationship with finances for decades now. His book, Financial Compatibility for Couples explores how couples can assess, talk and plan about their financial future, even when big discrepancies lie in personal viewpoints on the subject. Hear what Jeff has to say about what a couple needs to do if one is a spender and one is more frugal. (get the book and take the compatibility quiz right here!).Suicide Prevention with Dr. Jonathan Singer:  A few years ago, I met Dr. Singer at the  Podcast Movement conference for podcasters. Dr. Singer has been hosting the Social Work Podcast for about a decade, but he is also one of the leading experts in suicidology in the US.  I had him on the show for a couple of reasons. One was  to talk about how to recognize suicidal behavior in children. The other reason was to help me share my experience as a survivor of a sibling suicide.  I have rarely talked publicly about my experience with my brother's depression, so I asked Dr. Singer if he could help me tell the story. This episode is full of so much necessary information if you or a loved one struggles with suicidal thoughts. Sharing this episode could help save someone's life. Check out Dr. Singer's book, Suicide in Schools. Post Traumatic Recovery:  If you follow me on Facebook, then this next guest probably wont be a surprise as I think I have this episode with my conversation with Ret Fire Chief, Matt Shobert,  100x more than others just because it's tough to find another person who has lived through what he has. He's a real life Super Hero to himself when his accident happened, but also now to other fire fighters as he tries to advocate for better mental health, and specifically, PTSD awareness among his fire fighter brotherhood.  Follow Matt & his trusty sidekick, Butters the PTSD Firedog on Facebook.*Here's a link to a video where you can also hear from Matt's wife, Tami, to hear a bit about her experience through this traumatic event and the aftermath.Before we get into my Life with Suzy update, I want to also give a quick shout out to my friend, and ADD Crusher, Alan Brown. Alan is the Mess to Success Entrepreneur who now helps others embrace their Attention Deficit traits in order to live productive and purposeful lives.  Another quick shout out to my therapist colleague, Quintin Hafner. Quintin took his onw life experience, coupled with his MFT training AND his jiu-jitso training to write the marriage handbook for men, The Black Belt Husband. I love how Quintin found a new way to introduce relationship skills training to men. I found this book very helpful and I'm sure you will too. 'Ok - finally, last but not least, there is the Suzy update.  My original episodes I posted about Suzy, "My New York Story" and "The Suzy Chronicles", are still my top 2 most listened-to episodes. Im thinking you'll be interested in a Suzy update. Well, Suzy is doing amazing!!!!  I share with you about all the great things she is doing and learning at The Meetingplace Clubhouse,  her 85lb weight loss and subsequent surgery to help her be even more healthy post weight loss. I also tell you about some of the struggles with the system we are involved with: Medi-Cal Insurance fails as well as random Social Security attempts at 30 year old overpayments. Our situation is unique, yes, in that I am her parent, sister, caretaker, financial support, but we know others are out there in similar situations. That's why we decided to launch a new podcast, My Life with Suzy. When I say "we", it will primarily be me , telling the stories of our life, but Suzy is there by consent and occasionally to share her own perspective. I think it will be cathartic for me as well as I hope to help others feel less alone in their unique situation. If you want to follow along with us, just check my IG towards the end of January for the announcement. If you've been enjoying the Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, there's a few ways you can support the show:Become a patron on Patreon. For as little as the cost of 1 fancy cup of coffee a month, you can support the show as well as get some freebies from me. For just a few dollars more, check out the Chaos Crushers tier so you can get exclusive self-help recordings each month for more chaos crushing tips!Leave me a review  You can leave a review on whichever platform you listen to the show. It really helps others find it and can even push it up the screen to the featured shows.Share an episode you enjoyed on your social media. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are great platforms for sharing podcast episodes. You just share hit "share" on the platform you're listening on and you can then post the link on your social media page. 

A list of cultural shocks, fighting against what's wrong, immigrating to the US after living in exile in Saudi Arabia, Mona Johnson then survived a marriage filled with domestic violence to go on to be the first Muslim-Arab Immigrant female Lieutenant Colonel in the US Army. Listen in to our conversation that came out of her book, Not Created Equal: A Muslim Woman's Pursuit of Equality in her Family, the Army and America.

Robert Delude is the host of the None of Your Business Podcast, where he talks to his entrepreneurial guests about anything but their business (you can check out an earful I gave him about my own personal struggles and successes in an upcoming episode), but today, I flip the script on him to get him to talk about why he is so focused on helping others climb out of dark places in life. He shares his story of a chaotic childhood where he didn't think he fit in.  It was only when he first got high at 12 yrs old that he felt better.  This need to detach from his insecurities became a need to get high.  This quickly turned into a decade of selling drugs, toxic relationships and hiding his true self from anyone he knew. It was only when an older friend who got recovery took him under his wing was he really able to stay on a path through recovery. He is now forging ahead, feeling more confident, working on himself, fleeing from people who tap into his codependency or ignite his self-sabotaging.  His story isn't finished, but it's an inspiration as to what can happen and how good life can be when you start to fight the dark emotions, keep sticking with what you know works, and allow others to care about you. You can hear Robert bring other people's stories of success to life on the None of Your Business Podcast on Apple Podcasts and anywhere else you love to listen!  You can find Robert on the socials:IG: NoneofYourBusinessPodcastFacebook: RobertCDeLude If you happen to be struggling with addiction, here are a couple of FREE  nationwide resources:Alcoholics Anonymous Narcotics AnonymousSmart RecoveryThe Salvation Army Adult Rehabilitation Servicesor Call 211 in your area to find local resources - rehabs, therapists, free groups and other outreach services.  If you're struggling, help is available. *************************************************If you are enjoying The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, and you want to stay connected and want to chat about the episode, just follow me at on Facebook  , Instagram  or Twitter. Check out what I've got for you over at Patreon.com/CoachingThroughChaosPodcast. That's where you can pick your own plan for supporting the show.  Their are 4 Tiers to pick from- and every level gives you some items you can only get when you subscribe! Maybe you want a 20-minute coaching call with me each month.  Maybe you want to "Ask a Therapist Anything" each month. Go check it out and see what I'm offering :)Your best value is in Tier 2- The Chaos Crushers! For just $9/month, you will get:A shout Out of Thanks on the show!A Free e-book - "Five Ways to Tackle Almost Anything! Three exclusive Patreon-Only recordings just for you! These are essentially an entirely new podcast of self-help guidance that I am recording just for my @Patreon subscribers!!! For a fun take on life and love through the movies, you can join me and fellow therapist, Courtney Calkins at my other podcast   Shrink@Shrink .You can buy the book: The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner Leader!   as well as the book of ALL the guests you've ever heard on the Coaching Through Chaos Podcast right on my Amazon Bookshelf! If you want to work with me for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page. Keep kickin' that chaos out of your life! Thanks for listening! 

Who wants to talk abotu estate planning or leaving your legacy to your family? Not me! I want to live forever. Well, unfortunately, so did my parents, but I have no experienced both of them passing on with absolutely nothing planned for as far as their estates go. What a complicated experience, with a lot of complicated emotions! When I discovered Leslie Quinsay's booke, Legacy: A Guide to Successfully Transferring Wealth from One Generation to the Next,  I wish I had an opportunity to implement her guide with my parents. EVen though I missed my chance, I don't want you too - and if you've been avoiding discussing and writing down your plan for what to do about your business and other assets should something happen to you, this is your que to get on it! In this episode you will hear:Leslie's personal story of how she almost lost her father- and how that health scare, forced her to explore what her father's intention was in regards to handing down the family business.  Lesli's  "Legacy" formula for how to open and continue the discussions around estate planning. What Leslie means when she says estate planning is a team sport. What advice Leslie gives for families where conflict arises around the estate planning  (What if you don't want to take over the family business?).The One Ting to remember to stay motivated to get the estate planning completed. You can find her book on her website or on the Coaching Through Chaos Podcast Bookshelf on Amazon (#commissionsearned). ************************************************ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!The Patreon Page launched Oct. 1!!! Im so excited to give you so much extra for your contribution to the show! Check out the 4 Reward Tiers at Patreon,com/coachingthroughchaospodcast.   The Best Value is the Chaos Crusher! Tier at $9.00/m.  For your contribution, you will get access to 3 self-help audio recordings per month.  There are some other fun rewards that include an hour long Chaos Crushing Q&A with me each month and even a 20-minute coaching call with me.  I am so grateful for your support along this journey with me! *************************************************If you are enjoying The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, and you want to stay connected and want to chat about the episode, just follow me at on Facebook  ,  Instagram  or Twitter.  For a fun take on life and love through the movies, you can join me and fellow therapist, Courtney Calkins at my other podcast   Shrink@Shrink .You can buy the book: The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner Leader!   as well as the book of ALL the guests you've ever heard on the Coaching Through Chaos Podcast right on my Amazon Bookshelf! If you want to work with me for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page. Keep kickin' that chaos out of your life! Thanks for listening! 

We, of course, know that abuse of any child is wrong, but when boys are sexually abused, it is often not reported.  There are a lot of reasons for that. Ill be talking with Dr Kelli Palfy, who got interested in helping men who had been sexually abused as children when she was an investigator with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. We discuss some of the reasons it's not talked about it, how it affects men when they carry the secret and some great organizations where they can find help and healing. In this episode we discuss :How Dr Palfy's careen in Law Enforcement and corrections spurred her interest into helping men who were sexually abused as children.Relevant studies demonstrating how much  access perpetrators find to children.Why the abuse sometimes isn't recognized as abuse to the victims.How Secondary Trauma happensAre there signs to look for to recognize if a child is being molested.How attachment difficulties can arise when a survivor carries their trauma with them alone into adulthood.The barriers that men face to seeking help for their trauma.How parents can discuss healthy touch with their sons.Organizations that can help.Please check out Dr. Palfy's website Peaks and Valleys Psychology  You can find her book on her website or on the Coaching Through Chaos Podcast Bookshelf on Amazon (#commissionsearned). ************************************************ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!The Patreon Page launched Oct. 1!!! Im so excited to give you so much extra for your contribution to the show! Check out the 4 Reward Tiers at  Patreon,com/coachingthroughchaospodcast.   The Best Value is the Chaos Crusher! Tier at $9.00/m.  For your contribution, you will get access to 3 self-help audio recordings per month.  There are some other fun rewards that include an hour long Chaos Crushing Q&A with me each month and even a 20-minute coaching call with me.  I am so grateful for your support along this journey with me! *************************************************If you are enjoying The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, and you want to stay connected and want to chat about the episode, just follow us at Coaching Through Chaos on Facebook.If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitter Listen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.You can buy the book: The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner Leader!   as well as the book of ALL the guests you've ever heard on the COaching THROUGH Chaos Podcast right on my Amazon Bookshelf! If you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page. Keep kickin' that chaos out of your life! Thanks for listening!  

Todd Tresidder was a hedge fund manager who wasn't satisfied making the rich richer, while those who didnt have financial know-how tended to stay in the dark about it.  Todd had set himself up financially for retirement at 35 and wanted to teach others how they too could find their way to financial independence and security.  That led to Todd creating the educational platform FinancialMentor.com Part of Financial Mentor's mission is to educate the masses in a place that is separate from the people actually selling you the products. This site is there, solely to educate people, and a lot of education on there is FREE!  I downloaded his post - How Anyone Can Retire in 10 Years - which led me to access to a page of about 4 other audio courses I can listen to for Free. I can't wait to dive into his content and start applying it to my retirement plan! In this episode, Todd and I discuss (among other things):Is there a magic number someone needs to retire?What are the 5 questions someone should ask themselves in order to plan for retirement?How Todd shifted his career to educate others with what he knew.What's wrong with the traditional model of retirement planning? Some "Uncommon Financial Planning" to help a person get to retirement more quickly and with less stress. Please check out Todd's website FinancialMentor.com - Let me know which article was most helpful to you! ************************************************ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!Im launching a PATREON page with lots of extras for you!!!!   Look for it Oct 1, 2020!!!! If you would like to support the show while also learning a bit more about the psychology of life and relationships, please check out my Patreon site - you will be able to find me at  Patreon,com/coachingthroughchaos.  There are a few tiers of monthly support options.  My personal favorite is the $9.00 tier.  For that price, you will get access to 3 self-help audio recordings per month.  There are some other fun gets at less and more per month, but that's going to give you the best bang for your buck, and totally help me out! Thanks!!!! *************************************************If you are enjoying The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, and you want to stay connected and want to chat about the episode, just follow us at Coaching Through Chaos on Facebook.If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitter Listen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.You can buy the book: The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner Leader!   as well as the book of ALL the guests you've ever heard on the COaching THROUGH Chaos Podcast right on my Amazon Bookshelf! If you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page. Keep kickin' that chaos out of your life! Thanks for listening! 

Ever have a dream of owning a business, and then realized the dream kept getting bigger.  Well,  Micah Logan experienced that.  He became a personal trainer, then opened his own grym.  He wanted to create something that stood out from the everyday gyms we all know where you come in, work out and leave- most often without talking to anyone or even saying hello to anyone. Micah created Next Level Fitness and Wellness.  It's a community-based model for a gym (you'll want to hear how he talks about this) and I caught this interview with him right as he was starting the process of becoming a franchise business. There are currently 2 locations. In addition to working hard and creating his own dream business, his other passion in life is helping others get their dream business started. He likes to help those who struggle with what to do or belief that the idea could become something. He instills confidence and the know-how of what to do to help motivate his business coaching clients to succeed. Micah is energetic, passionate and humble. You can tell he cares deeply about what he is doing and the value he is bringing to the communities his business and those of his coaching clients bring. He was rasied by hard-working parents and followed their  model of beliving that if you work hard, it will payoff.  It certainly seems like he is mastering that! I hope you love this interview!***************************You can listen to Micah on his Common Cents Podcast for business advice from 2 guys living it!You can follow the journey of Next Level Fitness & Wellness at NLFHealth.com and check out what he has to offer as a business coach at Micah-Logan.com.****************************If you are enjoying the Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, you can support me in 3 ways: Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or your favorite Podcast playing app. Share your favorite episode on your social media.Use my Amazon shop link when you buy your next "anything" purchases on Amazon.  A small portion of your regular purchase price will go to help support the production of the show.  Thank you!  Amazon.com/shop/DrColleenMullenAND Coming Oct 1,2020, the official Patreon launch of Coaching Through Chaos.  For your small monthly contribution, you'll receive different tiers of rewards including 3 self-help audio recordings per month (sometimes video too!), and 20-minute coaching sessions.  I cant wait to start giving you more to help you Conquer the Chaos in your life!  ******************************************************************************I always appreciate you joining me on this podcasting journey. As a thank you, I'd like to give you my Leadership Workbook for Women for free - you can download The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner Leader right here! ******************************************************************************If you'd like to say "Hi" and follow me between episodes, You can FInd me on IGTwitter FacebookOK- that's it for now - until next time,  take care!   

Today we are going to talk about sex! Who doesn’t love talking about sex? Right?!? Well, the reality is that many people certainly enjoy sex, but actually talking about it is something that becomes awkward or uncomfortable for them. For today’s interview, we are going to add an extra layer to that level of awkwardness and talk about how to talk to you kids about sex.  Yes, its time to talk about how to have The Talk. My guest is Dr Lanae St John.  She is a board certified sexologist. Dr St John helps individuals and couples get comfortable with their own sexuality through coaching sessions, workshops and lots of free, informative , and even some fun exercises to try with your partner.  She also has a side of her work that focuses on how to help parents get comfortable talking about sex with their kids. Her book, Read Me, A Parental Primer for the Talk is a comprehensive guide to understanding so much about developing sexuality and also how to conduct quote unquote, the talk. In this interview, Dr. St John and I cover so much. Here’s the highlightsWhy “the Talk” is a series of conversations over your child’s lifetime.What is the right age to talk about touching?What you miss out on if you leave your child’s sex education up to Google or other kids. Her very clear and helpful Five Building Blocks of The Talk – this is the topics to cover.They aren’t all covered at every age, but they are a guide to know how the conversation will grow over the years. The importance of explaining pleasure. The ever so important topic of why and how to talk to your kids when your notice their body changing and growing into pubertyDiscussing and knowing the differences between healthy touch and unhealthy touch. There is definitely healthy, age-appropriate exploration, even though it seems stories of molestation run rampant.  I wanted Lanae to help us understand how we can even start to gauge that. How to talk about body image, self esteem, hygiene with grace and a preservation of your child’s self-esteem. There are times when you will be reassuring your child that what’s happening is normal, and there are definitely times in life when you may need to point out things about them (for instance poor hygiene or when the reach the time in life when they need deodorant), where care and tact will need to be employed. Our last topic is just how to actually start the conversation, this conversation that lasts throughout your child’s life.For the non-parents who found this (and listened to the episode)- well, first, off, thanks! I don’t have kids either, I found this informative and I'm sharing this episode with my friends to help them with their kids. I hop you do too.. In case, you found this episode or post because you are looking to get more comfortable with talking about sex with your partner,  Dr. St John can certainly help you out there too. As I mentioned in the beginning of the episode, she definitely works with adults.  I’d encourage you to go to her website TheMamaSutra.net – I seriously spent about an hour on it the other night, downloading some free guides(see links below) and reading through blog posts and advice questions. A couple of the freebies available on her website are how to get a little bit more playful with your partner and also a guide to exploring your own genitals.  The guide to On one hand, it can help you, the adult get more familiar with your own body parts in case you need to tell a dr about something, but it can also help you, again in using the correct words when talking to your kids about their body parts.  We can never have too much information when it comes to good sex and taking care of our body.  I do hope you enjoyed this epsidisde and your subsequent journey on her website – and of course, Id encourage all parents to pick up her book – Read Me, A Parental Primer for the Talk. Of course, you can find Dr. St John’s book, along with all ther books of the guests of this podcast on my coaching through chaos bookshelf on amazon.There will be links to all the freebies and the book on the show notes for this episode. – just in case you want to circle back to pick up thos items later, you can always find it at coachingthroughchaospodcast.com  OK – coming up I have a conversation with a fellow podcaster.  Micah Logan  is the host of Common Cents Podcast  and is a small business owner in Massachusetts/  We are going to talk about how he is dealing with all the ins and outs of managing his business under the pandemic restrictions and closures.  He is also a black business owner and we are going to take a little journey into his experience – both before and after all the social justice uprising. I do hope you join me for that one!I also have some other great guests. I'm proud to have my friend Tatiana on the show- she is the founder of RoadtoArtdom.org  talking about creating an art-focused non-profit – she’s also has a really fascinating career organizer of Comedy Gives Back, has been on panels at Comic-Con and is just so passionate about what she does. And she’s a friend of mine, so I'm so happy to share her with youWe also have more financial advice on how to plan for retirement and what to do when you are planning your estate, as well as a gym owning family – that’s right, all adults, all in business together, and they live all together – I can’t wait for you to hear what they have to say up at Absolute Flex Appeal in Rocklin, CA  about managing those relationships AND staying true to their family and business values.  FREEBIES from Dr. St. JohnSchedule a Play Date with Your Partner - Enjoy the Touch Lab The Genital Self-ExamThe BOOKRead Me: A Parental Primer to The Talk Support this Podcast 1. Leave a ReviewThe easiest  way to support me and help the show stay in the rankings on your favorite podcast players is to leave it a 5-Star Review.  For iTunes, you can review the show right here .2. Shop on AmazonWhen you enter Amazon through my link, a very small portion of what you are already paying for your purchase (no extra charge) goes to help support the production costs of the show. Here's the link https://www.amazon.com/shop/drcolleenmullen ,3.  Become a Patreon supporterEach month, starting at just $3/m, you can help supplement the production costs of the show and also get a few perks ranging from a shout out, patreon only tips, free books, and a coaching call from me.  I so appreciate that anyone would care to support this venture in that way. Here is the link: Pareteon.com/coachingthroughchaospodcast    

Everyone struggles at time with managing their finances.  In particularly now, as we get through this pandemic,  so many people are waiting with baited breath to find out what the near future holds for our economy.  Myself included. My guest this episode is my  friend and financial whiz, Rainier Trinidad.  Rainier is a Certified Financial Analyst.  He'll tell you that that is and why it should matter when you are seeking someone to mange your money. But in addition to that, we cover:Rainier's personal story of being a young immigrant from the Philippines with hard working parents.  How he connected while still in school with his love of economics. What he did to protect his client's from any significant losses in the market crash of 2008. How to know where to invest your moneyAdvice for what you can do today if you are trying to get re-balanced financiallyHow to handle stock market panicWhat to expect from a financial analyst or financial planner. Please check out Rainier at Parabolic Asset Management - he's got a current blog and lots of other information you can access, and share this episode with a friend you think might need some advice for financial stability in the future. As I mentioned in the episode, my newly repackaged book, The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner Leader can be downloaded for free at the bottom of my blog post at CoachingThroughChaos.comOf course, you can follow me over at IG/Facebook/Twitter in @DrColleenMullen 

LuAnn Nigara is the co-owner of Window Works in New Jersey for over 30 years now, but she is probably most known now on a larger scale for her expertise on building, growing and sustaining a business. She hosts The Well-Designed Business Podcast, is a well-known speaker at trade shows and leads workshops.  Her expertise lies in helping others, including established business owners, develop the fine skils necessary to have their business prepped to withstand the ebbs and flows over decades!  Her expertise is also now captured in the book, A Well-Designed Business. In this episode, LuAnn shares a decision made at 18 that put her on the trajectory to business success; why systems are so key to a successful business,  how she grew and shifted over the years, and why some businesses just can't succeed.  PLEASE CHECK OUT LuAnnNigara.com to discover all the ways you can benefit from  LuAnn's expertise.   If you are enjoying The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, and you want to stay connected and want to chat about the episode, just follow us at Coaching Through Chaos on Facebook.If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.If you are a woman, interested in building your personal leadership qualities, check out Dr. Colleen's book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!  

A crisis doesn't happen everyday, but when it does, it brings on a lot of emotions. Fear, anxiety, desperation, thought paralysis.  Dealing with the unknown factors that a crisis delivers is a unique experience. Even though this episode is launching amidst the peak of the Coronavirus Pandemic, it contains information about a helpful tool to help you manage how you deal with any time of crisis in your life. Dr Reef Karim is an expert in human behavior.  He is a board certified psychiatrist and an authority on personal development.  Dr. Karim's experience has led him to work with people going through all sorts of crisis, both on individual and global scales.  He has worked with survivors of 9-11,  on-site at Katrina, and with many people going through the individual crisis of an addiction. He has seen a lot of crisis in his career, and subsequently has seen the pathway to healing. To help you with our current global crisis and to give you the tools to withstand future crises, Dr. Karim has created The Crisis Manual. 

Anxiety, lonliness, anger, reactivity, sadness, loss, grief, confusion, fear - these are all emotions you may be feeling as you go through life under the pandemic restrictions.  This crisis has resulted in a collective trauma - we are all in this together and we are all affected by it in one way or another.  In my practice over the last month, I saw a defined uptick in a resurgence of my client's trauma symptoms from earlier in their lives.  I decided to do a special episode to help those in need understand this current situation through the lens of it as a trauma. I called in colleague, Dr. Reef Karim. Dr. Karim is a well-known neuroscientist, mental health physician and personal development expert.  You may know Dr Reef from his many appearances on Cnn, Oprah and other media outlets.  He now has a special offering to help you emotional survive this crisis - you can find his guidebook at The Crisis Manual.  On the next CTC episode, we focus on all the details of why you will want to get a copy for yourself! In this episode, Reef and I discuss:How trauma affects the brain and bodyHow false or exaggerated symptoms may present Key factors in building resilienceWe also cover these coping strategies (Im leaving as-is in the show notes, so that you have this as a reference if you should need it:1. STAY CONNECTED Social distancing is NOT Emotional Distancing – reach out to others. Family/friends.  If you were not well-connected socially before, this may feel ultra isolated– find an online group for something you enjoy or an actual support group. This is also the time to actually call and talk or skype or facetime someone.  If you’re feeling lonely, you can bet people you know are too.  They will appreciate the connection2. GET FRESH AIR EVERYDAY The best thing about this is that it happened in the spring, so most every part of the country has pleasant temperatures.  Fresh air and Sunlight help us feel refreshed, energized and can help our mood.  Moving our bodies is important more now than ever because it’s easy to get out of bed, get on the couch and never leave until you go to be again. Your body needs to move and you need to breath fresh air.3. CHALLENGE YOUR THOUGHTS For every time a person says- “This is hopeless”, there will be a story demonstrating a person who has overcome the illness. “I have nothing to do” – When’s the last time you called someone/organized your bathroom closet/planted a new flower pot? There are things to do. The point is that your brain will want to tell you things that keep you feeling discouraged/helpless/hopeless – there is always evidence to the contrary. 4. Get CREATIVE Amazon and all the other major stores are still delivering- now’s the time to tap into that hobby you’ve been putting off.  Maybe youre not particularly artistic or musically inclined.  It’s a great time to build something, tackle a home project you’ve been putting off, get crafty…. Maybe learning something new is how you get creative. Take an online course, learn a new language. Write, blog, craft, ……5. DISCONNECT FROM THE NEWS AND SOCIAL MEDIA  limit the time you watch…..turn the tv off….take 24 hours off the phone /news…..nothing is changing in 24 hours that you cant find out when you turn it back on6. TALK ABOUT IT AND KNOW WHEN TO TAKE A BREAK FROM TALKING ABOUT IT – whichever you need! If you haven’t been talking about how you’re feeling in this and just keeping a fine face, but going stir-crazy inside – its ok to call a friend and let them know you just wat to talk it through.  On the contrary – if every communication you have with everyone is about the virus and you’ve been on overload with the news, plan a virtual social hour with a friend with a rule that there is no talking about the virus – You will inevitably talk about things that remind you of your normal life – what you’ve been watching on Netflix, the puzzle you’ve been working on, the funny thing your kid said the other day.  Most importantly, this reminds you that there are normal experiences that are still happening all around you. HOW YOU CAN HELP OTHERSCALL SOMEONE YOU SUSPECT MIGHT BE ISOLATED AND FEELING LONELYOFFER TO PICK UP GROCERIES FOR ELDERLY OR AT RISK FRIENDS/NEIGHBORSSUPPORT LOCAL BUSINESSES THAT HAVE BEEN TEMPORARLY SHUTDOWN. GIFT CERTIFICATES OR PRODUCTS. GYMS, SALONS, MASSAGE PROVIDERS. RESTAURANTS.FIND OUT HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT LOCAL FOOD BANKS AND SHELTERS – DO THEY NEED CERTAIN SUPPLIES/TOILETRIES – WHAT’S IN YOUR BUDGET FOR HELPING THEM. (For those of us fortunate to be working or financially stable,we are ALL spending a lot less because we are not driving/going out to eat/getting hair done- there may be funds in your bank that can give you some room to support your community in ways you don’t normally have).*IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH SUBSTANCE ABUSE *People may be struggling with substance abuse and/or being a risk of relapse in this social isolationAA/NA groups are still being helpd onlineRehabs are still admitting new clientsTherapists are still accepting new clients*There is help available to those in need. *IF YOU HAVE A PRE-EXISTING MENTAL HEALTH CONDITIONSIf you know that you have pre-existing depression/anxiety/panic/bipolar or any other mental health struggle – NOW is the time to keep up sessions with your providers.  The medical professionals have been given the ability to telehealth – which means you can have a phone call/skype/zoon/facetime session- however you prefer with your therapist or psychiatrist. It is the time to keep up with your medication/treatment and things that you normally do to cope. It is also the time to reach out for added support through online support groups as you need them.*WHERE TO FIND HELP *The Crisis Manual .com  - This is a FREE guide to managing your emotions through a crisis.  This was developed by today's guest, Dr. Reef Karim. You can hear about The Crisis Manual in full detail in the next  pandemic-focused episode coming up in just a few days.PsychologyToday.comfor a mental health provider in your area 211.org –social services referral line if you are in need of inpatient or crisis house services – FOOD BANKS/housing/etcNational Suicide Prevention Talk Line –1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)*If you’re feeling suicidal and want someone to talk to when it is after hours for your mental health support providers. *Please go follow my guest- Dr Reef Karim at Instagram.com/ReefKarim or Facebook.com/DrReef or WORK WITH HIM at ReefKarim.com*Let me know what's working for you - How are YOU staying sane through this traumatic event?  You can reach out to me on the socials Facebook.com/CoachingThroughChaosInstagram.com/drColleenMullenTwitter.com/DrColleenMullen For a little light-hearted psycho-babble, make sure to check out the Shrink2Shrink Podcast wherever you love to listen. Colleen and fellow therapist, Courtney Calkins talk about love and live through one movie a month. Come and have some fun with us! Ladies! If you want to empower yourself or get inspired by other stories of successful women, get Dr Colleen's book: Stop Bitching , Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderUntil next time, I do hope you are safe and are finding the assistance you may need during this time. 

We all have some sort of fear, but through the evolution of technology and the ability to get endless likes and reposts of our woes, our fears have become something of a cultural phenomenon.  What used to be one person telling a friend something shocking, whether true or not, we now live in a culture where that one friend is actually our social medial platform and there are people reinforcing our projections, leading to a hijacking of our emotions.  Our 24-hour news cycles also play into this cultural hijacking..  Not everything is a crisis, just because the news channels tell us it is.  How our news media and social culture perpetuate fear through our society is the subject of Dr Patrick Lockwood's book, The Fear Problem: How Technology and Culture Have Hijacked Our Minds and Our Lives. Listen in to hear:The evolution of how our news and social media channels has seemingly hijacked out emotional states.How fear is growing out of control in unnoticeable ways.The 2 types of fear and which one is easier to control.How the  brain regulates fear.  (I promise, you won't need a neuroscience degree to understand this).How fear can dictate an unhealthy attachment to our phones.Some of the consequences of letting our fear get out of control.What can we do to counteract this collective fear response to non-crisis events.You can find Dr Patrick Lockwood at PatrickLockwoodHealing.com .If you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a gret review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast  The Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!

You want a Roy Lichtenstein-style paining on your wall? Talk to Jodie. You want a beautiful mid-century modern table for your living room? Talk to Jodie. You want the easiest and more sure-fire way to get your art pieces hung on your wall? For that , you also need to talk to Jodie.Jodie Royak of @RoyakStudio is an artistic craftsman who not only is living his dream as a full-time artist, but is also an inventor and successful entrepreneur. He is the inventor of BlinkHangers.com, where he "takes the anger out of hanger", Blink Hangers are a product that makes it so easy for everyone to fill their homes with art, without the hassle of figuring out how to hang it straight, because the Blink Hangers does it for you!Listen in as we discuss what Jodie loves about the creative process, what it was like for him to take his idea to creation and then distribution and selling out on the Home Shopping Network, advice for sticking with a dream, and he also tells the story of the piece of art he just can't part with (see my IG @DrColleenMullen for the pic).All listeners of The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast will receive a 25% discount on a 24 pack of Blink Hangers when you use the code: Chaos at checkout at blinkHangers.comCheck out Jodie's art on Instagram @RoyakStudioIf you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a gret review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Listen to The Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!

Colleen talks with Quentin about:His own journey on becoming the father of two boys,The similarities between BJJ and marriage.What it means about you if you believe all your ex's are crazy.How we can heal wounds from our childhoods through our marriage.And.... many more great relationship tips!If YOU want to be a husband who earns Black Belt status, or you want to find one- this episode is for you !To  follow Quentin, check out his IG: @Quentin_HafnerTo Buy the book on Amazon: Black Belt Husband To work with Quentin: QuentinHafner.com*********If you are enjoying The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, and you want to stay connected and want to chat about the episode, just follow us at Coaching Through Chaos on Facebook.If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Listen to The Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!  

Part 3 of 3. This is a conversation with my sister Suzy, who came to live with me in in 2018 after our mother died suddenly. We take you into our very personal journey. We end up fighting the system for what is right when it comes to her care and medical benefits. Some fights are not over yet. You also get a look into the life of someone who lived many years very socially isolated with intellect limitations and what happens when they are given love and care and connection to others.This episode is a love letter to my sister. My life changed when I inherited her, but not nearly as much as her life changed. I admire her so much and wanted to have a permanent place where we would have this record of our lives.This is not the norm for my show, but we will return every month now with all the great guest, tips and tricks for conquering the chaos in yoru life you've come to expect from the Coaching Through Chaos Podcast. In the meantime, I hope our journey inspires those who are feeling let down or failed by our social services system, or those who are going through grief or just need a story of hope.No chaos can't be conquered!You can work with me at www. CoachingThroughChaos.comYou can say "hi" and connect with me on the socials atfacebookand Instagram and Twitter

Part 2 of 3. This is a conversation about my almost month-long road trip across the country to help my disabled sister start her life over after my mother suddenly passed away.  It was also a cathartic journey for me as my life transformed along with my sister's.  I traveled from New York to DC to Greensboro to Nashville, to Nashville, to Memphis to New Orleans to Dallas and then Albuquerque and finally back to my home in San Diego.  But my hone will never be the same. This story of love, loss, family and conquering chaos. Listen in as I take you along my trip- It was a solo adventure filled with excitement, fear of failing and all that comes with knowing your life will never be the same when you return home.   This is a very personal series - not the norm for this show. After the New York Story, My Cross Country Journey and The Suzy Chronicles episodes, the show will return on a monthly basis to what you know from Coaching Through Chaos- Lost of tips, trick and experts to help you conquer the chaos in your life. But first, I thought I owed it to my listeners to explain my absence.Thanks for sticking with me!You can work with me at www. CoachingThroughChaos.comYou can say "hi" and connect with me on the socials atfacebookand Instagram and Twitter

May 2018, I got a call that changed my life.  In one phone call, I knew when I left my home in San Diego to go to New York, I would return and my mother will have died and I will ave inherited my disabled sister.  This is the first episode in over 18 months. This will be a series of 3 to tell this story of love, loss and how we are managing the chaos we are finding in this new life situation.  This is a very personal series - not the norm for this show.  After the New York Story, My Cross Country Journey and The Suzy Chronicles episodes, the show will return on a monthly basis to what you know from Coaching Through Chaos-  Lost of tips, trick and experts to help you conquer the chaos in your life.  But first, I thought I owed it to my listeners to explain my absence.  Thanks for sticking with me! You can work with me at www. CoachingThroughChaos.comYou can say "hi" and connect with me on the socials at facebookand Instagram  and Twitter 

Interview with horror movie director and special effects expert Mark Newton about his current film, Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies.  Dr. Colleen Mullen talks with Mark about his dreams of becoming a film maker, the best effects of the movie, how to produce an indie film, gets actors and stay on budget and how to manage the chaos that is movie-making!

This #Podcast episode features Dr Colleen Mullen's conversation with David Lowe, founder, of Qwerky Coliving in San Diego, CA. Qwerky is a housing experience for entrepreneurs and #DigitalNomads and #VirtualAssistants or #VA 's .

Suicide Prevention and the Grief of those Left BehindI was personally devastated by suicide on July 1, 2007, when my youngest brother, Scott, took his own life at the age of 28.  Scott struggled for many years in and out of mental health treatment episodes.  He never quite let go of the perceived stigma of what it meant to have a mental illness, so he never fully accepted treatment.  Even if he had, we know some people still make the choice to end their life.  What they don't know, or can't know, is how the survivors they leave behind are profoundly affected. I met today's guest, Dr. Jonathan Singer, LCSW at the Podcast Movement conference in Chicago last July.  Jonathan has been the host of The Social Work Podcast for over 9 years.  He started it as a way of bringing his university students extra information between lectures.  it has since taken on a long life of it's own.  There is not only a vast array of information  pertaining to all aspects of  the field of social work, but he also delivers inspirational interviews of people doing extraordinary things. Jonathan's primary field of study is that of Suicide Prevention and Awareness.  He is the author of Dr. Singer is the author of 45 publications, including the 2015 book Suicide in Schools: A practitioner’s guide to multilevel prevention, assessment, intervention, and postvention .  He has given over 100 academic presentations around the country and is an expert in his field. What's Happening in This EpisodeThe first half of the episode features our conversation about:    -- The ages of children most at risk for suicide- How to discuss suicidal language with your child- What to do when your child says things like, "I wish I were dead!"- How to utilize professional help and when it should be considered- The significance of the suicidal thoughts- The Zero Suicide Initiative- The Jason Flatt Act- What #Not6 is all aboutThe second half of the episode, Jonathan dives in with me to explore how I and my family were affected by my brother's suicide.  I am exploring this publicly hoping that it will help shed light on how complicated the grieving process can be for such a loss and also help those who are survivors of a loved one's suicide feel less alone.  Grief is complicated even when we expect a death to take place (i.e. when an elderly parent passes away), but it becomes more complex when someone you love chooses to die by suicide.  My family's reaction is not unusual, but in general, we still do not speak abou losing loved one's to suicide openly.  I'm hoping that by speaking about it in this forum, others may start their own conversations with their loved ones struggling with the suicidal thoughts, or amongst themselves if they are already grieving.Thank you for listening to this very personal episode. ResourcesThe Zero Suicide InitiativeThe Jason Flatt ActWhat #Not6 is all aboutDr. Jonathna Singer, LCSW's bio at Loyola University ChicagoThe Social Work Podcast

Alissa Daire Nelson - Strength Finder by colleen mullen psychology motivation self-help life skills social work love relationships resilience san diego coaching therapy

I met Zanderat a friend's house-warming party.  We spoke of working within the government agency system of therapy and had a lively discussion.  I went home and "friended" him on Facebook  - I then discovered my new friend was quite a fascinating person, having lived a life of social advocacy for the LGBTQ population.  It was when I clicked on a link to his website that I saw he was not only an advocate, but a well-respected person in that community who had actually gone through the transition from female to male.Zander Keig is a unique individual, not only because he used to be a she, but because his life has been one of overcoming tremendous hardships, starting at birth. When Zander was born, the doctor predicted he would be dead, but he was not.  Then when he was 6, he developed encephalitis - he went into a coma and when he awoke, he had to relearn some basic life skills all over again.  Zander's life since then has been a journey of self-discovery and social advocacy.Zander and I discuss:His early life struggles and some family reflectionsWhy he identified with the "separatist lesbian" community and what that meant for himHow and when he began identifying as "trans"Why he feared TestosteroneHow he and his wife created a relationship that has withstood the stress of transitioningHow his education helped him understand those that did not understand himWhy he decided to edit and write books and articles on the subject of transitioning when his own transition is a very private experienceWhy trans men are often invisible in our societyHow intentionality informs his relationship with his wifeThe strange thing that happened when he went from being seen by society as a 1st-generation Mexican-American lesbian to a highly-educated white male - where did his culture go?The prejudices he experienced both pre and post transition were not what you'd think!Questions and CommentsAlthough we have comments turned off this blog in general, Zander welcomes your questions and comments.  Feel free to email me DrMullen@CoachingThroughChaos.com, or leave a comment or a question on my facebook page  and I will be happy to pass it on.ResourcesZander speaks of some of the books he's edited, the documentary being produced about his life journey and his website.  Here is where you can find those resources:Website:  ZanderKeig.netFilm: Episodes of ZanderologyBooks Zander has been involved in, including Manning Up and Letters for My Brothers can be found here http://www.zanderkeig.net/booksAwkward Correction on my partI realized when listening back to the produced episode that I was saying "LGBT and trans" when, of course in LGBT the T stands for trans - I don't know why I was saying it that way, but that's how it came out.  To anyone that thinks I was "not aware" - I am, I just speak faster than I think sometimes and it results in awkward verbal trip-ups. 

Darlene Lancer teaches us about Narcissism and how to deal with a Narcissist.

Dee Wagner, co-author of Naked Online, a modern day Zen and the Art of Internet Dating, speaks of some of the trials and tribulations involved with online dating, and how to stay zen in the face of it all

209 - Quentin Hafner, LMFT - Intimacy for Couples With Kids by colleen mullen psychology motivation self-help life skills social work love relationships resilience san diego coaching therapy

homeless youth, 8West, Ocean Beach, Urban Street Angels, Eric Lovett, Colleen Mullen, Psychology podcast, transitional age youth, recovery, resiliency

Dan Franks, Co-Founder of Podcast Movement tells us about the upcoming event in Chicago, July 2016

Pam Greene, the Program director at the Adaptive Sports Foundation shares with us some of the success stories of the program, along with upcoming fundraiser events.

Dr Jared DeFife of the School of Psych talks about his practice, his podcast and how he got there...

From mess to success, entrepreneur Alan Brown shares his story as well as several brain hacks you can use right now to crush ADHD

Promoting Healthy Masculinities and Gender Equality: The Men’s Story Project (MSP) is a replicable storytelling and community dialogue project that brings exploration of social ideas about masculinity into public forums around the world.

Megan Bearce, LMFT gives hints and tips for couples to preserve their relationships when faced with Super Commuting

A Quadcast Podcast spectacular, we join @QuadfatherMFT and discuss EMDR, Artificial Intelligence and whether you can find true love with an automaton...

Discussing his book 'Overcoming Shyness' and upcoming new books, as well as the benefits of dogs

Ret. Capt Jeff Dill is the founder of Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, a 501c3 dedicated to the prevention of suicide in firefighters and EMTs through outreach, education and fostering a healthier awareness of warning signs.

I thought I had a fair amount of initials after my name, but here’s Matt Shobert MA, EFO, CFO, MIFireE. Matt had been the Fire Chief for the Murrieta Fire Department (MFD) since March 2011, and has served as Fire Chief for two other jurisdictions prior to joining the MFD team. He holds a Master’s Degree in Organizational Management, a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Management and an Associate’s Degree in Fire Science. He is also a 2007 graduate of the National Fire Academy’s Executive Fire Officer (EFO) Program, has been four times accredited as a Chief Fire Officer Designee (CFOD) and was recently conferred Membership into the Institution of Fire Engineers (MIFireE). Chief Shobert completed the arduous 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride and 26.2 mile run - "140.6" Ironman Arizona in Tempe on 11/17/13. On top of that, he’s had a happy double-decade long marriage. He was living an exemplary life.Matt’s Life-Changing EventBut everything changed on July 2, 2014. On that day, Chief Shobert was on a seemingly routine outing. He went out to a field to observe a brush clearing. Murrieta California is a hot, inland town and as any people are aware, brush fire prevention is a high priority in areas like this, especially in Southern California. The Chief was out by himself when the accident occurred. When you hear what happened to Chief Shobert, you can’t help but truly respect and appreciate his innate instincts to get himself help and his utter resiliency. The Chief shares the details of his accident for the first time publicly with me on the podcast. Please listen to hear Matt tell his story in his own words.RecoveryMatt went through several surgeries and still may be tasked with undergoing a few more. As you heard in the episode (if you didn’t listen yet, click here to do so), Matt is put together physically, but his emotional wounds are healing more slowly. The struggle is real. Matt is dealing with effects of both Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Traumatic Brain Injury. He has done extensive emotional therapy under the care of a Licensed Behavioral Health Clinician since the accident.He has gone through avoiding the area of the accident (which he was hard-pressed to do when he still lived in Murietta), nightmares, anxiety/panic attacks, angry outbursts, suicidal thoughts, slow thought processes and general lack of interest in leaving his home at times or going to places where there may be crowds of people. Though his emotional struggles are daunting, he is getting better each day. He has incorporated exercise, continues his talk therapy, calls on emotional support from his wife and others and credits his dog, Butters, for giving him some added support and love, as well as forcing him to get out of his home and walk him as a major part of his recovery.Matt has recently begin to train to become an Ironman athletic trainer – to keep him fit and to get back into the athletic world he misses. He’s looking forward to training others to accomplish their triathlon goals. He also is focusing his life towards telling his story as he did on this episode. He wants to help others understand the reality of what it’s like to live with post traumatic stress, and also to allow those in the fire service who are dealing with it feel less stigmatized and to ask for help when they need it. Matt is dedicating his life to giving back and helping others. A true example of personal resilience and resolve and restoration of hope for his new future.Post Traumatic Stress DisorderFor more information on PTSD, please see our separate post on the subject here.Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS) of the National Institute of Health (NIH), Traumatic Brain Injury is described as follows:"Traumatic brain injury (TBI), a form of acquired brain injury, occurs when a sudden trauma causes damage to the brain. TBI can result when the head suddenly and violently hits an object, or when an object pierces the skull and enters brain tissue. Symptoms of a TBI can be mild, moderate, or severe, depending on the extent of the damage to the brain. A person with a mild TBI may remain conscious or may experience a loss of consciousness for a few seconds or minutes. Other symptoms of mild TBI include headache, confusion, lightheadedness, dizziness, blurred vision or tired eyes, ringing in the ears, bad taste in the mouth, fatigue or lethargy, a change in sleep patterns, behavioral or mood changes, and trouble with memory, concentration, attention, or thinking. A person with a moderate or severe TBI may show these same symptoms, but may also have a headache that gets worse or does not go away, repeated vomiting or nausea, convulsions or seizures, an inability to awaken from sleep, dilation of one or both pupils of the eyes, slurred speech, weakness or numbness in the extremities, loss of coordination, and increased confusion, restlessness, or agitation."ContactLinked-in: matt-shobert-ma-efo-cfo-mifiree-ironmanemail:         mjshobert@gmail.comResourcesFire Fighters Behavioral Health Alliance:  FFBHANorth American Fire Fighter Veteran Network: NAFFVNFire Fighters Wellness Initiative: IAFF WFIPost Traumatic Stress Disorder via National Institute of Mental Health: PTSD/NIMH (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/)For local support in your community, check out the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill's page on PTSD Resources: NAMI/PTSDThe National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke website offers a wealth of information on TBI, prognosis, treatment and resources if you or someone you care for is in need of help regarding their TBI (http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/tbi/tbi.htm)National Resource Center for Traumatic Brain Injury : tbinrc.comIf you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a gret review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast  The Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!

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Once a Week in the United StatesWe live in a society in which hearing about murders on school campuses 40 times this year is outrageous on one hand, and numbing on the other. Forty times just this year in the United States people – both kids and adults- went to their school campus to never return home. Those are numbers that are hard to comprehend. It is also campus shooting #142 just since December 2012 when the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School happened - that’s about 1 a week. Is this our new normal? Does it have to be so? That 142 does not take into account the numbers of shootings between 1999 when the first of the modern day campus massacres happened at Columbine. We, as a society can do things to stop this – Ill give a few insights as to that, but first I should put my knowledge of the subject in context for you.What My Team Learned Studying School ShootingsI spent 3 years working as part of a development team of what we hoped to become a School Violence Prevention Institute here in San Diego. I became the historian of the project. I followed the stories and looked for what we knew of the shooters before and after they acted, the circumstances of the shooting and what the fallout was afterwards in the communities. For as much as there have been shootings on school campuses prior to Columbine, that tragedy in 1999 formed the new M.O. of what has continued since, so we studied all the shootings between 1999 and 2011 when we completed the book.In all the cases in which the shooter was a current student we know 5 things:1. There was concerning behavior that was not coordinated by school personnel (i.e a security guard did not tell a teacher of an incident and a teacher did not know a security guard also knew of a concerning incident, or a teacher and a school admin did not know they each had concerns about a student)2. There were social media postings, writings or videos that spoke of killing or targeting specific groups of students.3. There was easy access to guns.4. There was suspicion of, or documented mental health concerns.5. There was a history of bullying and/or social isolation.We worked on and developed The School Violence Prevention Program as a book which school personnel could be trained on. We, as a team of clinicians and other interested parties conducted research and data collection. Our project lead, Dr. Jim Madero is an expert in workplace violence prevention so he had a lot of expertise in the area of violence prevention. We gathered the information and collective expertise and developed a community-based team approach to preventing school violence. Dr. Madero had the opportunity to present it at the Virginia Tech hearings where it got favorable feedback. Back here in San Diego, we shopped it around a few school districts and even did get it implemented in a district as a pilot trial. The problem was that, although many schools wanted it, they didn’t have funding for it. Why do they need funding? Why can’t we do this for free? There are trainings and meetings that need to be coordinated. Teachers and other school staff will need to leave their posts for the training, local law enforcement needs to attend (they are part of our prevent team plan) and experts need to train the staff on the protocol. Even in a world in which we could have them all gather and train them on a webinar, there are time and equipment costs involved in the production of the training material.The team dream was to get legislation passed in which the state mandated schools to have violence prevention programs. That’s where it all fell apart. After an unsuccessful meeting with a legal adviser in LA and no legitimate supporters that could help back the implementation of the program, we have been at a standstill 2012. We are just one group of professionals out here in southern California – I would venture to guess there are dozens of teams around the country like us developing programs. We need a way to get these programs implemented and school personnel trained! If anyone is listening who may be able to help that come to fruition, you can email me DrMullen@Coachingthrughchaos.com and Ill put you in contact with our project manager to help us take action.What can our society do to work towards School Violence Prevention?We need reformation in several areas. The systems in the U.S. are broken – There are financial, communication and internal breakdowns.1. Our mental health system broke in a way it has never recovered in 1993 when it was systematically unfunded and our long-term mental health facilities were forced to close. Those people still needed care and structure and our mental health system has been paying the price for that since then. Here we are 20 years later and it seems new funding gets put into street based program care for these people, leaving little room for the average high school student who’s depressed or feeling social isolated and ostracized because he’s been bullied. We need funding to help both the severely mentally ill and those that are falling through the cracks because they are not in “crisis”.2. That leads us to our health insurance system – Although I personally like my health care coverage, I am not in need of what’s called a “higher level of care”. In regards to mental health services that means needing therapy more than once a week. Our system is set up to deny services to people unless they are already in crisis – We have a “treat the crisis, then step-down” system. We have lots of good Intensive Outpatient Programs in our communities, but I’ve witnessed more denials happen on the way up the system than on the way down. If a therapist or an MD refers a client for an Intensive Outpatient program, we need them to be practically on the verge of hospitalization in order to get the help they need. These programs usually meet a few hours a day, a few days a week. They are designed to provide a person struggling with emotional distress a place to come to talk about it, learn some valuable coping skills, and build social support through the camaraderie of the group structure. When a person has been hospitalized (the hospitalization criteria is that they need to be “in danger of hurting themselves or someone else”) they are much more easily approved for an Intensive Outpatient Program as a means of stepping-down in services. Why do we have a system designed to only treat when there is a crisis? Why would the insurance companies not look at what can be done to prevent the crisis from happening?This is where I see that reform needs to take place in our health insurance system.3. Then we have the educational system. Of course having a good, consistent curriculum will benefit our next generations, but first and foremost, they need to be safe. It is when people are safe that they can then settle in, focus and thrive. As I stated earlier, the way to get safety in place is to provide schools the ability to implement expert-designed safety programs in our schools that are community based so that there are very few pieces of the puzzles missed in the future.4. The last system I will discuss and the one I think holds the most power is that of the media. I believe media can be our best friend and our worst enemy. In the event of major tragedies, the media can be quick to relay necessary information to help people comprehend what is happening. On the other hand, they can also give the recognition to these mass murderers that they so crave. Our mass murderers live on in infamy because our news media names them - and then picks over and publicizes every aspect of their life they can find. This needs to stop!The Bystander Effect and How it Factors into our Societal BreakdownLong before the days of the internet and social media, we have the story of Kitty Geneovese which is taught in every intro psych class in the country. In 1964, Kitty was murdered in the early morning as she returned home from work. She was stabbed to death in the street. The story was that upwards of 30 people either heard her or saw her. For as much as there were a couple of phone calls to the police, the majority of people did not take action (There is now debate over how many witnesses existed). This idea that many people can observe something troubling happening and not take action is called the Bystander Effect – We think someone else will call it in. Well, I want to put a challenge out to everyone reading this and say, “Don’t let someone else call it in”.What Can You Do? Don’t Be a Bystander!• Advocate to your insurance company when denials are rendered,• Don’t watch the continued news coverage of the shooter,• Talk to your school districts and universities and find out what their safety protocols are,• Talk to your local and state level politicians- find out what they’re doing to get mandated school violence prevention programs in your schools.What Progress Have We Made to Prevent School Violence through Legislation?Form what I can find, Massachusetts is voting to mandate school violence prevention programs be implemented in its schools. Virginia mandates their state colleges to have prevention programs, and Ontario, Canada has mandated their schools have violence prevention programs. It s definitely a start, but we’ve got a long road ahead of us.What About the “Gun Debate”?I can’t write about preventing school shootings without acknowledging the highly emotionally-fueled gun debate. It’s everywhere. I’m not really ready to jump into the politics of this. What we know is that a great majority of these shooters gained easy access to guns in their own home. I have mixed emotions about gun restrictions. What I don’t have mixed emotions about is gun safety. My take on it is that if you choose to own a gun, no matter what the law in your state says you’re allowed to do as far as locking it up or not locking it up, it is your responsibility to make sure it does not get into someone else’s hands.The Re-Cap: What We NeedWe have systems that are failing us. We need prevention programs in place that are designed to protect our kids at school. We need school violence prevention programs in addition to “active shooter” protocols. We need media outlets to stop giving these mass murderers names and attention and we need a health care system designed to prevent mental health tragedies rather than treating the trauma that happens to our communities when they don’t. I personally hope we start seeing a movement towards positive change, resiliency and victory over these tragedies.

The CEO of Trilogy Integrated Resources tells us about the Veterans Network of Care portal, a resource repository for active duty service members, veterans and their families. NetworkOfCare.org provides a comprehensive multistate directory of resources not only for Veterans but also for many other groups of our population

Dr Julie Goldstein Grumet of the Suicide Prevention Resource Center discusses the resources offered by the Center

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