Podcasts about coaching through chaos

Let's face it, 2020 has been like the toxic, chaotic boyfriend who won't go away.   I wish I had the definitive answer for how to get him out of all of our lives, but I don't. What I do have, however, is a collection of podcast episodes I've been creating over the last 5 years to help you learn ways to conquer the chaos in your life. So, since chaotic 2020 needs some extra resources to get conquered, I've put together a sampling of some of my favorite episodes for you. There are so many resources right here for you:Becoming more Resilient: Christian Moore is a guy who learned how to overcome a learning deficiency, low self-esteem,  and hopelessness about the future to now teach both adults and kids about how to be resilient. Christian was raised on the streets with little guidance. The love of a neighbor helped him conquer his childhood demons. His book, The Resilience Breakthrough, can be found on the CTC Bookshelf, and his program, "Why Try?" is implemented in over 12,000 organizations across the US and Canada. Listen to what he has to say about the pow  er of resiliency.  Virtual Reality Treatment for Phobias and Combat Trauma: The Virtual Reality Medical Center is equipped to help you overcome your every fear, utilizing virtual reality techniques.  They even work with the military personnel, both pre & Post deployment to help decrease the incidences of long-term problems from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Financial Compatibility for Couples: Jeff Motske, a Certified Financial Planner and CEO/President of Trilogy Financial has been helping couples explore their relationship with finances for decades now. His book, Financial Compatibility for Couples explores how couples can assess, talk and plan about their financial future, even when big discrepancies lie in personal viewpoints on the subject. Hear what Jeff has to say about what a couple needs to do if one is a spender and one is more frugal. (get the book and take the compatibility quiz right here!).Suicide Prevention with Dr. Jonathan Singer:  A few years ago, I met Dr. Singer at the  Podcast Movement conference for podcasters. Dr. Singer has been hosting the Social Work Podcast for about a decade, but he is also one of the leading experts in suicidology in the US.  I had him on the show for a couple of reasons. One was  to talk about how to recognize suicidal behavior in children. The other reason was to help me share my experience as a survivor of a sibling suicide.  I have rarely talked publicly about my experience with my brother's depression, so I asked Dr. Singer if he could help me tell the story. This episode is full of so much necessary information if you or a loved one struggles with suicidal thoughts. Sharing this episode could help save someone's life. Check out Dr. Singer's book, Suicide in Schools. Post Traumatic Recovery:  If you follow me on Facebook, then this next guest probably wont be a surprise as I think I have this episode with my conversation with Ret Fire Chief, Matt Shobert,  100x more than others just because it's tough to find another person who has lived through what he has. He's a real life Super Hero to himself when his accident happened, but also now to other fire fighters as he tries to advocate for better mental health, and specifically, PTSD awareness among his fire fighter brotherhood.  Follow Matt & his trusty sidekick, Butters the PTSD Firedog on Facebook.*Here's a link to a video where you can also hear from Matt's wife, Tami, to hear a bit about her experience through this traumatic event and the aftermath.Before we get into my Life with Suzy update, I want to also give a quick shout out to my friend, and ADD Crusher, Alan Brown. Alan is the Mess to Success Entrepreneur who now helps others embrace their Attention Deficit traits in order to live productive and purposeful lives.  Another quick shout out to my therapist colleague, Quintin Hafner. Quintin took his onw life experience, coupled with his MFT training AND his jiu-jitso training to write the marriage handbook for men, The Black Belt Husband. I love how Quintin found a new way to introduce relationship skills training to men. I found this book very helpful and I'm sure you will too. 'Ok - finally, last but not least, there is the Suzy update.  My original episodes I posted about Suzy, "My New York Story" and "The Suzy Chronicles", are still my top 2 most listened-to episodes. Im thinking you'll be interested in a Suzy update. Well, Suzy is doing amazing!!!!  I share with you about all the great things she is doing and learning at The Meetingplace Clubhouse,  her 85lb weight loss and subsequent surgery to help her be even more healthy post weight loss. I also tell you about some of the struggles with the system we are involved with: Medi-Cal Insurance fails as well as random Social Security attempts at 30 year old overpayments. Our situation is unique, yes, in that I am her parent, sister, caretaker, financial support, but we know others are out there in similar situations. That's why we decided to launch a new podcast, My Life with Suzy. When I say "we", it will primarily be me , telling the stories of our life, but Suzy is there by consent and occasionally to share her own perspective. I think it will be cathartic for me as well as I hope to help others feel less alone in their unique situation. If you want to follow along with us, just check my IG towards the end of January for the announcement. If you've been enjoying the Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, there's a few ways you can support the show:Become a patron on Patreon. For as little as the cost of 1 fancy cup of coffee a month, you can support the show as well as get some freebies from me. For just a few dollars more, check out the Chaos Crushers tier so you can get exclusive self-help recordings each month for more chaos crushing tips!Leave me a review  You can leave a review on whichever platform you listen to the show. It really helps others find it and can even push it up the screen to the featured shows.Share an episode you enjoyed on your social media. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are great platforms for sharing podcast episodes. You just share hit "share" on the platform you're listening on and you can then post the link on your social media page. 

Quinn Henoch, DPT is a wealth of knowledge on weightlifting, athletic performance, and physical rehabilitation.

We, of course, know that abuse of any child is wrong, but when boys are sexually abused, it is often not reported.  There are a lot of reasons for that. Ill be talking with Dr Kelli Palfy, who got interested in helping men who had been sexually abused as children when she was an investigator with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. We discuss some of the reasons it's not talked about it, how it affects men when they carry the secret and some great organizations where they can find help and healing. In this episode we discuss :How Dr Palfy's careen in Law Enforcement and corrections spurred her interest into helping men who were sexually abused as children.Relevant studies demonstrating how much  access perpetrators find to children.Why the abuse sometimes isn't recognized as abuse to the victims.How Secondary Trauma happensAre there signs to look for to recognize if a child is being molested.How attachment difficulties can arise when a survivor carries their trauma with them alone into adulthood.The barriers that men face to seeking help for their trauma.How parents can discuss healthy touch with their sons.Organizations that can help.Please check out Dr. Palfy's website Peaks and Valleys Psychology  You can find her book on her website or on the Coaching Through Chaos Podcast Bookshelf on Amazon (#commissionsearned). ************************************************ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!The Patreon Page launched Oct. 1!!! Im so excited to give you so much extra for your contribution to the show! Check out the 4 Reward Tiers at  Patreon,com/coachingthroughchaospodcast.   The Best Value is the Chaos Crusher! Tier at $9.00/m.  For your contribution, you will get access to 3 self-help audio recordings per month.  There are some other fun rewards that include an hour long Chaos Crushing Q&A with me each month and even a 20-minute coaching call with me.  I am so grateful for your support along this journey with me! *************************************************If you are enjoying The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, and you want to stay connected and want to chat about the episode, just follow us at Coaching Through Chaos on Facebook.If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitter Listen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.You can buy the book: The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner Leader!   as well as the book of ALL the guests you've ever heard on the COaching THROUGH Chaos Podcast right on my Amazon Bookshelf! If you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page. Keep kickin' that chaos out of your life! Thanks for listening!  

Todd Tresidder was a hedge fund manager who wasn't satisfied making the rich richer, while those who didnt have financial know-how tended to stay in the dark about it.  Todd had set himself up financially for retirement at 35 and wanted to teach others how they too could find their way to financial independence and security.  That led to Todd creating the educational platform FinancialMentor.com Part of Financial Mentor's mission is to educate the masses in a place that is separate from the people actually selling you the products. This site is there, solely to educate people, and a lot of education on there is FREE!  I downloaded his post - How Anyone Can Retire in 10 Years - which led me to access to a page of about 4 other audio courses I can listen to for Free. I can't wait to dive into his content and start applying it to my retirement plan! In this episode, Todd and I discuss (among other things):Is there a magic number someone needs to retire?What are the 5 questions someone should ask themselves in order to plan for retirement?How Todd shifted his career to educate others with what he knew.What's wrong with the traditional model of retirement planning? Some "Uncommon Financial Planning" to help a person get to retirement more quickly and with less stress. Please check out Todd's website FinancialMentor.com - Let me know which article was most helpful to you! ************************************************ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!Im launching a PATREON page with lots of extras for you!!!!   Look for it Oct 1, 2020!!!! If you would like to support the show while also learning a bit more about the psychology of life and relationships, please check out my Patreon site - you will be able to find me at  Patreon,com/coachingthroughchaos.  There are a few tiers of monthly support options.  My personal favorite is the $9.00 tier.  For that price, you will get access to 3 self-help audio recordings per month.  There are some other fun gets at less and more per month, but that's going to give you the best bang for your buck, and totally help me out! Thanks!!!! *************************************************If you are enjoying The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, and you want to stay connected and want to chat about the episode, just follow us at Coaching Through Chaos on Facebook.If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitter Listen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.You can buy the book: The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner Leader!   as well as the book of ALL the guests you've ever heard on the COaching THROUGH Chaos Podcast right on my Amazon Bookshelf! If you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page. Keep kickin' that chaos out of your life! Thanks for listening! 

Ever have a dream of owning a business, and then realized the dream kept getting bigger.  Well,  Micah Logan experienced that.  He became a personal trainer, then opened his own grym.  He wanted to create something that stood out from the everyday gyms we all know where you come in, work out and leave- most often without talking to anyone or even saying hello to anyone. Micah created Next Level Fitness and Wellness.  It's a community-based model for a gym (you'll want to hear how he talks about this) and I caught this interview with him right as he was starting the process of becoming a franchise business. There are currently 2 locations. In addition to working hard and creating his own dream business, his other passion in life is helping others get their dream business started. He likes to help those who struggle with what to do or belief that the idea could become something. He instills confidence and the know-how of what to do to help motivate his business coaching clients to succeed. Micah is energetic, passionate and humble. You can tell he cares deeply about what he is doing and the value he is bringing to the communities his business and those of his coaching clients bring. He was rasied by hard-working parents and followed their  model of beliving that if you work hard, it will payoff.  It certainly seems like he is mastering that! I hope you love this interview!***************************You can listen to Micah on his Common Cents Podcast for business advice from 2 guys living it!You can follow the journey of Next Level Fitness & Wellness at NLFHealth.com and check out what he has to offer as a business coach at Micah-Logan.com.****************************If you are enjoying the Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, you can support me in 3 ways: Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or your favorite Podcast playing app. Share your favorite episode on your social media.Use my Amazon shop link when you buy your next "anything" purchases on Amazon.  A small portion of your regular purchase price will go to help support the production of the show.  Thank you!  Amazon.com/shop/DrColleenMullenAND Coming Oct 1,2020, the official Patreon launch of Coaching Through Chaos.  For your small monthly contribution, you'll receive different tiers of rewards including 3 self-help audio recordings per month (sometimes video too!), and 20-minute coaching sessions.  I cant wait to start giving you more to help you Conquer the Chaos in your life!  ******************************************************************************I always appreciate you joining me on this podcasting journey. As a thank you, I'd like to give you my Leadership Workbook for Women for free - you can download The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner Leader right here! ******************************************************************************If you'd like to say "Hi" and follow me between episodes, You can FInd me on IGTwitter FacebookOK- that's it for now - until next time,  take care!   

In a time of such uncertainty and confusion all around you, you can easily find yourself being pulled into the madness. Diane talks about serving others from a place of peace. Our guest Karen from Pasadena California will share the importance of coaching through chaos from a place of peace within. You can connect with Karen via email: karen@encourage2action.com

Today we are going to talk about sex! Who doesn’t love talking about sex? Right?!? Well, the reality is that many people certainly enjoy sex, but actually talking about it is something that becomes awkward or uncomfortable for them. For today’s interview, we are going to add an extra layer to that level of awkwardness and talk about how to talk to you kids about sex.  Yes, its time to talk about how to have The Talk. My guest is Dr Lanae St John.  She is a board certified sexologist. Dr St John helps individuals and couples get comfortable with their own sexuality through coaching sessions, workshops and lots of free, informative , and even some fun exercises to try with your partner.  She also has a side of her work that focuses on how to help parents get comfortable talking about sex with their kids. Her book, Read Me, A Parental Primer for the Talk is a comprehensive guide to understanding so much about developing sexuality and also how to conduct quote unquote, the talk. In this interview, Dr. St John and I cover so much. Here’s the highlightsWhy “the Talk” is a series of conversations over your child’s lifetime.What is the right age to talk about touching?What you miss out on if you leave your child’s sex education up to Google or other kids. Her very clear and helpful Five Building Blocks of The Talk – this is the topics to cover.They aren’t all covered at every age, but they are a guide to know how the conversation will grow over the years. The importance of explaining pleasure. The ever so important topic of why and how to talk to your kids when your notice their body changing and growing into pubertyDiscussing and knowing the differences between healthy touch and unhealthy touch. There is definitely healthy, age-appropriate exploration, even though it seems stories of molestation run rampant.  I wanted Lanae to help us understand how we can even start to gauge that. How to talk about body image, self esteem, hygiene with grace and a preservation of your child’s self-esteem. There are times when you will be reassuring your child that what’s happening is normal, and there are definitely times in life when you may need to point out things about them (for instance poor hygiene or when the reach the time in life when they need deodorant), where care and tact will need to be employed. Our last topic is just how to actually start the conversation, this conversation that lasts throughout your child’s life.For the non-parents who found this (and listened to the episode)- well, first, off, thanks! I don’t have kids either, I found this informative and I'm sharing this episode with my friends to help them with their kids. I hop you do too.. In case, you found this episode or post because you are looking to get more comfortable with talking about sex with your partner,  Dr. St John can certainly help you out there too. As I mentioned in the beginning of the episode, she definitely works with adults.  I’d encourage you to go to her website TheMamaSutra.net – I seriously spent about an hour on it the other night, downloading some free guides(see links below) and reading through blog posts and advice questions. A couple of the freebies available on her website are how to get a little bit more playful with your partner and also a guide to exploring your own genitals.  The guide to On one hand, it can help you, the adult get more familiar with your own body parts in case you need to tell a dr about something, but it can also help you, again in using the correct words when talking to your kids about their body parts.  We can never have too much information when it comes to good sex and taking care of our body.  I do hope you enjoyed this epsidisde and your subsequent journey on her website – and of course, Id encourage all parents to pick up her book – Read Me, A Parental Primer for the Talk. Of course, you can find Dr. St John’s book, along with all ther books of the guests of this podcast on my coaching through chaos bookshelf on amazon.There will be links to all the freebies and the book on the show notes for this episode. – just in case you want to circle back to pick up thos items later, you can always find it at coachingthroughchaospodcast.com  OK – coming up I have a conversation with a fellow podcaster.  Micah Logan  is the host of Common Cents Podcast  and is a small business owner in Massachusetts/  We are going to talk about how he is dealing with all the ins and outs of managing his business under the pandemic restrictions and closures.  He is also a black business owner and we are going to take a little journey into his experience – both before and after all the social justice uprising. I do hope you join me for that one!I also have some other great guests. I'm proud to have my friend Tatiana on the show- she is the founder of RoadtoArtdom.org  talking about creating an art-focused non-profit – she’s also has a really fascinating career organizer of Comedy Gives Back, has been on panels at Comic-Con and is just so passionate about what she does. And she’s a friend of mine, so I'm so happy to share her with youWe also have more financial advice on how to plan for retirement and what to do when you are planning your estate, as well as a gym owning family – that’s right, all adults, all in business together, and they live all together – I can’t wait for you to hear what they have to say up at Absolute Flex Appeal in Rocklin, CA  about managing those relationships AND staying true to their family and business values.  FREEBIES from Dr. St. JohnSchedule a Play Date with Your Partner - Enjoy the Touch Lab The Genital Self-ExamThe BOOKRead Me: A Parental Primer to The Talk Support this Podcast 1. Leave a ReviewThe easiest  way to support me and help the show stay in the rankings on your favorite podcast players is to leave it a 5-Star Review.  For iTunes, you can review the show right here .2. Shop on AmazonWhen you enter Amazon through my link, a very small portion of what you are already paying for your purchase (no extra charge) goes to help support the production costs of the show. Here's the link https://www.amazon.com/shop/drcolleenmullen ,3.  Become a Patreon supporterEach month, starting at just $3/m, you can help supplement the production costs of the show and also get a few perks ranging from a shout out, patreon only tips, free books, and a coaching call from me.  I so appreciate that anyone would care to support this venture in that way. Here is the link: Pareteon.com/coachingthroughchaospodcast    

LuAnn Nigara is the co-owner of Window Works in New Jersey for over 30 years now, but she is probably most known now on a larger scale for her expertise on building, growing and sustaining a business. She hosts The Well-Designed Business Podcast, is a well-known speaker at trade shows and leads workshops.  Her expertise lies in helping others, including established business owners, develop the fine skils necessary to have their business prepped to withstand the ebbs and flows over decades!  Her expertise is also now captured in the book, A Well-Designed Business. In this episode, LuAnn shares a decision made at 18 that put her on the trajectory to business success; why systems are so key to a successful business,  how she grew and shifted over the years, and why some businesses just can't succeed.  PLEASE CHECK OUT LuAnnNigara.com to discover all the ways you can benefit from  LuAnn's expertise.   If you are enjoying The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, and you want to stay connected and want to chat about the episode, just follow us at Coaching Through Chaos on Facebook.If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.If you are a woman, interested in building your personal leadership qualities, check out Dr. Colleen's book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!  

A crisis doesn't happen everyday, but when it does, it brings on a lot of emotions. Fear, anxiety, desperation, thought paralysis.  Dealing with the unknown factors that a crisis delivers is a unique experience. Even though this episode is launching amidst the peak of the Coronavirus Pandemic, it contains information about a helpful tool to help you manage how you deal with any time of crisis in your life. Dr Reef Karim is an expert in human behavior.  He is a board certified psychiatrist and an authority on personal development.  Dr. Karim's experience has led him to work with people going through all sorts of crisis, both on individual and global scales.  He has worked with survivors of 9-11,  on-site at Katrina, and with many people going through the individual crisis of an addiction. He has seen a lot of crisis in his career, and subsequently has seen the pathway to healing. To help you with our current global crisis and to give you the tools to withstand future crises, Dr. Karim has created The Crisis Manual. 

Richard and Alex talk with UAB head coach Bill Clark, who led the Blazers through a program shutdown and prolonged uncertainty a few years ago, about what it’s like to run a team through the COVID-19 pandemic. They also talk about defensive theory, a good Nick Saban story, and the Conference USA picture in 2020. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode we get to hear an interview I did with Dr. Colleen Mullen, a licensed marriage and family therapist who lives in San Diego, CA. . She runs a private practice, and is the host of a great podcast called "Coaching Through Chaos". Dr. Mullen is also the author of a book on leadership for women called, “Stop Bitching, Just Lead… The 60 Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner Leader” Colleen has had a lifetime filled with unexpected changes and transitions and has come through them with insight and strength. We talk in this interview about the significant life change that happened when her mother died suddenly and she took her sister in to live with her. I am excited for you to get to hear the story. Dr. Mullen's Book Recommendation: Chaos: Making a New Science by James Gleick Dr. Mullen's Website: https://coachingthroughchaos.com/ Dr. Mullen's Book: "Stop Bitching, Just Lead!: The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner Leader" ~~~~~ Thanks for joining this episode. Here are some links to check out: Follow me on social: Instagram: @essentiallybetterlife Facebook: www.facebook.com/theessentiallybetterlife Check out my website www.essentiallybetterlife.com for all kinds of information on: * Business and Personal Coaching * My Book: “Essentially Better: essential oils for people with feelings” * And even some great stuff on Essential Oils. Support this podcast: by the support button right here, or going to our website… www.essentiallybetterlife.com. Thanks for listening. Blessings, be well my friends *Solo Acoustic Guitar by Jason Shaw is licensed under a Attribution 3.0 United States License. Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://audionautix.com/index.html. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-bruton/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wendy-bruton/support

We all have some sort of fear, but through the evolution of technology and the ability to get endless likes and reposts of our woes, our fears have become something of a cultural phenomenon.  What used to be one person telling a friend something shocking, whether true or not, we now live in a culture where that one friend is actually our social medial platform and there are people reinforcing our projections, leading to a hijacking of our emotions.  Our 24-hour news cycles also play into this cultural hijacking..  Not everything is a crisis, just because the news channels tell us it is.  How our news media and social culture perpetuate fear through our society is the subject of Dr Patrick Lockwood's book, The Fear Problem: How Technology and Culture Have Hijacked Our Minds and Our Lives. Listen in to hear:The evolution of how our news and social media channels has seemingly hijacked out emotional states.How fear is growing out of control in unnoticeable ways.The 2 types of fear and which one is easier to control.How the  brain regulates fear.  (I promise, you won't need a neuroscience degree to understand this).How fear can dictate an unhealthy attachment to our phones.Some of the consequences of letting our fear get out of control.What can we do to counteract this collective fear response to non-crisis events.You can find Dr Patrick Lockwood at PatrickLockwoodHealing.com .If you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a gret review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast  The Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!

Colleen talks with Quentin about:His own journey on becoming the father of two boys,The similarities between BJJ and marriage.What it means about you if you believe all your ex's are crazy.How we can heal wounds from our childhoods through our marriage.And.... many more great relationship tips!If YOU want to be a husband who earns Black Belt status, or you want to find one- this episode is for you !To  follow Quentin, check out his IG: @Quentin_HafnerTo Buy the book on Amazon: Black Belt Husband To work with Quentin: QuentinHafner.com*********If you are enjoying The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, and you want to stay connected and want to chat about the episode, just follow us at Coaching Through Chaos on Facebook.If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Listen to The Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!  

Sober October plus weight loss challenge update for 2019. At the 1/2 way point (or so) 4 friends chat about their reasons for embarking on the Sobriety and dieting challenge.  Motivations, challenges, hacks and benefits are just some of the topics on this casual update podcast. What is harder sobriety or weight loss?  Why would we do this and what happens if we fail. Jason and Cole from the 7 Days A Geek podcast and Courtney and Colleen from the Shrink 2 Shrink show (and Coaching Through Chaos and Quadcast) discuss how things are going thus far.  How different do we feel at this stage and why we enjoy challenging ourselves. We invite listeners to join us this month and or next month too as we continue our journeys toward self improvement.  

In this episode of Deconstructing Dad my guest a relationship therapist and host of Coaching Through Chaos and the cohost of Shrink 2 Shrink, Colleen Mullen joins me to talk All things Dating Apps.  The Good, The Bad, The Ugly of it all. We talk profile do's and don'ts. Safe dating practices. Red Flags and more.

Dr. Colleen Mullen, Psy.D., LMFT is the founder of the “Coaching Through Chaos” private practice in San Diego, California and the podcast of the same name. She is also the co-host of the “Shrink 2 Shrink: on Film” podcast. She has been featured in over 80 online publications, TV, radio shows and podcasts including Fortune, Success, Everyday Power Blog, Glamour, PsychCentral, the Huffington Post and is a relationship columnist for The B Quarterly Magazine.  Dr. Mullen specializes in outpatient addiction treatment, relationships in conflict, treating symptoms of anxiety, depression and PTSD, and enjoys helping her clients work through transitions in their lives. CoachingThroughChaos.com Twitter.com/drcolleenmullen facebook.com/drcolleenmullen

The Cinematic Flushers take on fat suits!  When an LA womanizer (Ryan Reynolds) returns to his home town at Christmas, he must find a way to win over the love of his former best friend (Amy Smart).  What follows are 96 minutes of body shaming humor, bad wigs, unlikable characters, and actress Anna Faris performing at a nosebleed inducing 11. Here's the TRAILER. Our special guest this time out is doctor Colleen Mullen, a San Diego based therapist and host of the Coaching Through Chaos podcast. We love feedback!  Email us at signalsoffury@gmail.com with your comments and suggestions for future flushes!

    On this episode my guest Dr. Collen Mullen marriage and family therapist. Dr. Mullen is also the host of Coaching Through Chaos where she talks about all kind of divorce and relationship issue. In this episode, me and Dr. Mullen have a conversation about navigating through a divorce. Also, Dr. Mullen also has a Facebook live video every Tuesday 3:30 pacific time where she covers a lot of topics like we talk about in this episode. if you have a chance check out the other podcast were Dr. Mullen co-host with another therapist were break down movies in an interesting way   Links: coachingthroughchaos.com shrink2shrink.com Resources secondsaturday.com divorcecare.org Ways to subscribe to the podcast! Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcast Click here to subscribe via Android Subscribe to the email newsletter  

After answering an ad from a radio producer in Houston, Texas that was looking for an idea for a radio show, Colleen Mullen received a phone call saying that she had been chosen as the lucky person to launch a podcast - in less than a month! With no prior broadcasting experience, she jumped in two feet first into the podcasting ring and created the Coaching Through Chaos podcast where she interviews authors and experts in the field of psychology to help them navigate through the chaos in their lives. Colleen is also the co-host of another podcast called Shrink to Shrink and she runs a private practice as a relationship therapist in San Diego, California where she specializes in high conflict couples. 05:21 - Colleen’s relationship with technology 05:52 - How she started podcasting 09:34 - Hurricanes, earthquakes, aftershocks, and tremors 14:03 - Fulfilling her commitment to launch Coaching Through Chaos 15:24 - The response she’s received on her podcast and the connections she’s made 17:07 - Her second podcast, Shrink to Shrink 18:09 - What she has gotten out of going to podcasting conferences 21:33 - Podcast Movement and being completely present in conversations 23:54 - Colleen shares an exciting story from Podcast Movement 26:41 - Building lasting connections and treating your guests like gold 28:29 - Using her podcast as a way to leverage and enhance her business 32:06 - If social media is bringing us closer together or further apart 34:12 - The younger generation’s erosion of social skills 35:15 - How constant communication through texting is bad for couples 36:58 - If experiences with clients and guests on her show merge with one another 38:26 - Using podcasts to establish yourself as a thought leader 40:33 - The creative way she brands her podcast in her waiting room 43:25 - Her time growing up in New York 46:20 - Reminiscing about old New York clubs and NYC living 49:36 - Visiting museums when she’s in big cities 50:06 - One of her memorable museum experiences 51:39 - Our experience with contemporary art installations 54:03 - Her story about the powerful ‘The Lost Boys’ painting by Kerry James Marshall 57:50 - The first time I saw Rembrandt’s Night Watch painting 58:59 - What she’s changed her mind about recently 01:01:08 - The one most misunderstood thing about her Full Show Notes: http://podcastjunkies.com/colleen-mullen-interview★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

It's two therapists so it's DOUBLE the Truthtalk sugars! Loved having Dr. Colleen on my show. She's a genuine, kind soul with the expertise to help change your life. She's the real deal, y'all. Check her out, listen to her podcasts, and find all things Colleen at coachingthroughchaos.com. Or Want to Get some Shrink insight on your favorite movies? Listen to her podcast Shrink2Shrink. Subscribe to this podcast here on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dear-mattie-show/id902469568?mt=2 www.dearmattieshow.com Twitter: @themattmarr Listen to Mattie’s other podcast TV TEA TIME HERE: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/tv-tea-time-with-mattie-and-jake/id1211496705?mt=2 or watch the show on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/talktomattmarr Our Recap Site: http://www.tvteatime.com TV Tea Time Twitter: @jakeandmattie Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theMattMarrSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week I talk to a real licenced therapist. Dr. Colleen Mullen is a psychotherapist and a podcaster. She has two podcasts, Coaching Through Chaos and Shrink 2 Shrink. On this episode we talk about anxiety, addictions, loneliness, movies, podcasting, and George Clooney? ENJOY Find Colleen on Twitter: @DrColleenMullen Shrink 2 Shrink on Twitter: @Shrink2Shrink her website: http://coachingthroughchaos.com/ >>>> "Horribly Awkward" Outro music by: Liza and Sam of Slammerkin Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/slammerkingdom Sound cloud: https://soundcloud.com/slammerkingdom

Coaching Through Chaos With Dr. Colleen Mullen Our heroes are joined by Dr. Colleen Mullen, host of the Coaching Through Chaos podcast which is relaunching on January 3, 2017. Subscribe on iTunes and www.coachingthroughchaos.com. She is also the cohost of Shrink 2 Shrink (also available on iTunes) where she and friend of the show, Courtney Calkins (who appeared on episode 130), psychoanalyze protagonists in major motion pictures. Watch out for episode 109 this week at www.shrink2shrink.com when they take on Four Christmases just in time for the holidays. Dr. Mullen helps raise the IQ points of the show exponentially as she discusses relationships, social anxieties, PTSD and issues affecting veterans. Plus, it's time once again for On The Couch With Tony! We apologize for some of the audio glitches you may hear on the show. We are aware of the problem and are taking steps to correct it as soon as possible. Thank you for listening and continuing to stick with the little podcast that can.

On this episode of @Shrink2Shrink we psychologically dismantle the 2016 movie Zootopia.  Here, our 2 shrinks Dr. Colleen Mullen https://twitter.com/DrColleenMullen and Courtney Calkins https://twitter.com/QuadFatherMft  discuss themes from the movie and explore what it means about our human nature, and how to handle bullies and other relationship issues present within the film and we learn about our own lives using the themes of the film.   Dr. Colleen Mullen’s other podcast, Coaching Through Chaos: http://coachingthroughchaos.com/   Courtney Calkins’ other podcast: http://quadfathermft.com/   All shows are available on a multitude of podcasting platforms.     Buy the Zootopia movie: https://www.amazon.com/Zootopia-Blu-ray-Ginnifer-Goodwin/dp/B01B2CX0LU/ref=sr_1_3?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1469980593&sr=1-3&keywords=zootopia   Buy the Zootopia Original Soundtrack: https://www.amazon.com/Zootopia-Original-Motion-Picture-Soundtrack/dp/B01BE5TN7A/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1469980638&sr=8-1&keywords=zootopia+original+motion+picture+soundtrack   Twitter: https://twitter.com/Shrink2Shrink   Web:  http://shrink2shrink.com/  

I met Zanderat a friend's house-warming party.  We spoke of working within the government agency system of therapy and had a lively discussion.  I went home and "friended" him on Facebook  - I then discovered my new friend was quite a fascinating person, having lived a life of social advocacy for the LGBTQ population.  It was when I clicked on a link to his website that I saw he was not only an advocate, but a well-respected person in that community who had actually gone through the transition from female to male.Zander Keig is a unique individual, not only because he used to be a she, but because his life has been one of overcoming tremendous hardships, starting at birth. When Zander was born, the doctor predicted he would be dead, but he was not.  Then when he was 6, he developed encephalitis - he went into a coma and when he awoke, he had to relearn some basic life skills all over again.  Zander's life since then has been a journey of self-discovery and social advocacy.Zander and I discuss:His early life struggles and some family reflectionsWhy he identified with the "separatist lesbian" community and what that meant for himHow and when he began identifying as "trans"Why he feared TestosteroneHow he and his wife created a relationship that has withstood the stress of transitioningHow his education helped him understand those that did not understand himWhy he decided to edit and write books and articles on the subject of transitioning when his own transition is a very private experienceWhy trans men are often invisible in our societyHow intentionality informs his relationship with his wifeThe strange thing that happened when he went from being seen by society as a 1st-generation Mexican-American lesbian to a highly-educated white male - where did his culture go?The prejudices he experienced both pre and post transition were not what you'd think!Questions and CommentsAlthough we have comments turned off this blog in general, Zander welcomes your questions and comments.  Feel free to email me DrMullen@CoachingThroughChaos.com, or leave a comment or a question on my facebook page  and I will be happy to pass it on.ResourcesZander speaks of some of the books he's edited, the documentary being produced about his life journey and his website.  Here is where you can find those resources:Website:  ZanderKeig.netFilm: Episodes of ZanderologyBooks Zander has been involved in, including Manning Up and Letters for My Brothers can be found here http://www.zanderkeig.net/booksAwkward Correction on my partI realized when listening back to the produced episode that I was saying "LGBT and trans" when, of course in LGBT the T stands for trans - I don't know why I was saying it that way, but that's how it came out.  To anyone that thinks I was "not aware" - I am, I just speak faster than I think sometimes and it results in awkward verbal trip-ups. 

Shrink2Shrink podcast – Like Siskel & Ebert, with a psychological twist!     On this episode of @Shrink2Shrink we psychologically dismantle the 2015 movie Creed.  Here, our 2 shrinks Dr. Colleen Mullen https://twitter.com/DrColleenMullen and Courtney Calkins https://twitter.com/QuadFatherMft  discuss themes from the movie and explore what we can learn for our own lives using the themes of the film: family ties, what makes a family, and how Adonis Creed makes sense of being born to the incredible Apollo Creed – he never knew his father, but he has the same passion for boxing as his father.  We also explore how living with a legend in the family can be something that can open doors for us, but can also be something we want to keep hidden. Then, we get to reminisce about our love for the icon of Rocky Balboa as a cultural icon and the spark that the stories ignite in each one of us and why.  What is it about his achievements, his love of both boxing and Adrian (“Yo, Adrian!”) that inspire us?  Listen in as we examine love, relationships, loneliness, overcoming obstacles, resiliency and following your passions.   Next Shrink2Shrink podcast will examine the movie Zootopia   For more episodes and information: http://shrink2shrink.com/   Dr. Colleen Mullen’s other podcast, Coaching Through Chaos: http://coachingthroughchaos.com/   Courtney Calkins’ other podcast: http://quadfathermft.com/   All shows are available on a multitude of podcasting platforms.   CREED MOVIE 2015 - how to watch: https://www.amazon.com/s?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Creed&ref_=imdbref_tt_msg_ov&tag=imdbtag_tt_msg_ov-20   CREED Soundtrack: https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Creed+Soundtrack&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3ACreed+Soundtrack  

In this episode of Podcasting 101 I sit down with Therapist Colleen Mullen, host of the Coaching Through Chaos podcast. For those of you just starting a podcast, this is a great episode to learn from. We discuss jumping right in to podcasting, and then pulling back a little to both manage a healthy life and a healthy podcast. Time management is key my fellow podcasters! Other things touched on in this episode: Blogging for your podcast. Does this attract new listeners, and do your current listeners bother with your blog? How important is it for YOUR podcast to have a website? Are you using Twitter right? Some quick techniques are discussed as well as what social media is right for your podcast? The quick answer...Twitter! Find us all over the interwebs! www.podcasting101.net www.monkeypoostudios.com On Twitter:@Podcasting101 Email the show: 7DAGpodcasting101@gmail.com Support the show via Patreon: www.Patreon.com/monkeypoostudios As always, Thanks so much for listening and please, keep podcasting! Jason "The Angry Ginger" Parsons

Welcome back! In Episode 35, the first episode of the Practice Building Series, host Laura Reagan, LCSW-C speaks with counselor, coach and podcaster Colleen Mullen, PsyD, LMFT. Colleen is a psychologist and coach practicing in San Diego, CA and hosts a popular podcast called Coaching Through Chaos.  She is also the co-host of a new podcast she will talk about in this episode. With so much going on, Colleen understands that burnout is an occupational hazard for entrepreneurs. She offers some ways to identify when you are at risk for burnout, and some strategies to avoid entrepreneur burnout. You can find out more about what Colleen is doing by visiting her website, www.coachingthroughchaos.com. Listen in on this conversation for some key points therapists need to think about when considering going into private practice. Enjoy! And please visit iTunes to leave a rating and review for Therapy Chat, as well as subscribing and downloading episodes! You can also listen and download episodes at www.therapychatpodcast.com. 

The movie “Inside Out” is the topic of discussion for Courtney & Dr. Mullen.  How accurately does this move capture the emotional interplay within our minds.  The discussion touches on what can happen to us if we are not aware of our feelings and if we don’t share our deeper feelings with the people in our lives.  How to improve our day to day life by being aware of and honoring our own emotional experience and process.   Dr. Colleen Mullen is from (among other things) her podcast Coaching Through Chaos http://coachingthroughchaos.com/ she can also be found on twitter at https://twitter.com/DrColleenMullen   “Inside Out” Official Movie Site http://movies.disney.com/inside-out “Inside Out” soundtrack can be purchased here http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_21?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=inside+out+soundtrack&sprefix=inside+out+soundtrack%2Caps%2C201

Dr. Colleen Mullen knows that breaking free from a bad situation isn’t always smooth sailing. Scapegoated and physically abused in her childhood home, she had to find her own ways of solace and escape until striking out on her own at age 17. Find out how Colleen reached escape velocity with the help of a therapist and the inspiration of her father…a man who struggled with the disabling strictures of childhood polio. Colleen reached escape velocity to come to peace with her past and provide counseling, motivation, and inspiration for those struggling with addictions, relationship conflicts, trauma, and anxiety. She has a doctorate in marriage and family therapy and started the Coaching Through Chaos practice in San Diego, California. Her work has been featured on PsychCentral.com and Fortune.com and she’s also host of the Coaching Through Chaos podcast featuring interviews with experts in health and well-being to help inspire, motivate, and empower you to greater personal success. Colleen and I actually traded podcast interviews this week, so make sure to go over and check out the Coaching Through Chaos podcast this week at coachingthroughchaos.com as Colleen interviews me about my own personal and professional journey helping deep feelers navigate powerful emotions and complicated romantic relationships. As always, you can find us by heading over to SchoolofPsych.com and be sure to follow us on Facebook (facebook.com/schoolofpsych) and Twitter (@schoolofpsych).

Today’s guest is Dr. Colleen Mullen. Colleen holds a doctorate in marriage and family therapy and is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She’s the founder of The Coaching Through Chaos private practice in San Diego and the host of The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast. Colleen specializes in addiction treatment, relationships in conflict, helping people with anxiety, depression & trauma. Her passion lies in helping people understand the process of change in their lives and guiding them through those changes. The weekly Coaching Through Chaos podcast is designed to put her audience in connection with persons or resources designed to inspire, motivate and empower them. You can find out more about Colleen at www.coachingthroughchaos.com. This episode is brought to you by Audible.com, where your favorite books come to life. Get your FREE book along with your 30-day FREE trial by clicking on the Audible link at the upper right of this page, or  simply click HERE! Wanna be a patron of Consciously Speaking? To contribute, you can click on the Podbean link in the upper right corner of this page or simply on the word Podbean here. There are rewards available for all levels of patron sponsorships including t-shirts, coffee mugs, tickets to my Consciousness Summit event and more. Thanks in advance for your support. If you’re into podcasts and you want to explore some more, check out Thanks, Podcasting. Michael is the featured podcaster in Episode 025, which you can find right here: I Just Gotta Say “Thanks, Podcasting”. Also, be sure to sign up for your Podcasting Mentorship Discovery Call today; and to learn more about Sponsorship Opportunities, send an email to Admin@MichaelNeeley.com.  Thanks! And don’t forget to subscribe to Consciously Speaking so that you don’t miss a single episode. While you’re at it, won’t you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! To learn more about our previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to www.MichaelNeeley.com and follow us on Facebook and Twitter.

~  Do discussions about money bring discord into your relationship ? If the answer is yes, you are not alone.  In this interview, certified financial planner Jeff Motske provides helpful tips to resolve this problem, as covered in his book - 'The Couples Guide to Financial Compatibility'. The solutions he provides will help you plan for the future, build a solid foundation for your financial house, proactively discuss finances with your partner and deal with boomerangs.This year alone we’ve witnessed several companies, including Radio Shack close up its doors for good. Other major chains like Sears, Abercrombie & Fitch, Barnes & Noble, Anna’s Linens and Aerospostale have confirmed that they will be closing many if not all of their stores due to diminished sales and/or bankruptcy. These stories, although they may not affect us personally, can affect the level of stress we carry about our own financial situation. Its societal data points like this that remind us that financial success can be tough to achieve and can be fleeting.Today’s episode focuses on how to help couples talk about money. My guest is Jeff Motske. He is the CEO of Trilogy Financial Services; host of the show “Declare Your Financial Independence” on 1110AM KFAX San Francisco, and the author of “The Couples Guide to Financial Compatibility”. Jeff talks with us about building a financial legacy; how to talk you’re your spouse about a family budget and how to talk with your adult kids about financial responsibility when they move back home. He’s also going to tell us all about his “War of the Wallets” quiz that you can take online with your spouse.When Trilogy was in its infancy, Jeff started out meeting his client’s needs based on where they were in life and what their financial goals were. He took a small town approach when his competitors were sticking with Wall Street strategies. This approached has grown Trilogy into a nationwide company whose client’s investments surpass $2 billion dollars. Jeff provided us with a lot of insight and some great tips on helping couples talk about their finances and plan for life events.We all feel the stress of money at times. Back in my single days, I used to imagine it would be easier to handle money stress when the day came that I would partner up and get married, as I imagine most people think. The problem is, it doesn’t actually get easier. In fact, depending on your situation, either a 2 -income or 1 - income household, it can pose new complications you didn’t have when single (i.e. power struggles over spending, deciding on how to budget, and setting financial limits). In fact, money can be one of the most complicated, or stress-inducing, subjects for couples to talk about. If you search online, you’ll find article after article about how money is the hottest point of contention between couples – I found numbers between 35-57% of couples complaining that money is their number 1 problem. Whether they argue or not, Couples face a lot of stresses in life in life: work, family, kids, who’s going to do the grocery shopping, who’s going to do the dishes. However, when different financial philosophies or struggles enter the picture, it can absolutely get them stuck. Money affects all of us differently. Our parents’ philosophy around money often dictates our own.One person may be a spender; the other may be a saver. Sometimes they have similar philosophies both are spenders or savers. Other times, they walk blindly through their life believing their partner is handling the finances. Turning a blind eye to your financial situation and always letting your partner handle it can really get you into trouble. In a partnership, even if one person is the designated “bill payer”, its important to at least be apprised of your current situation on at least a monthly basis. In my private practice, I’ve come across couples who have literally avoided talking about their financial picture for years. Once a couple gets locked in this avoidant pattern, it can be hard to break, but it can be done.A lot of what Jeff emphasizes for the couples to keep them healthy financially is similar to the work us marriage therapists do at times with our clients. One of the key components to a happy relationship is effective communication and you need that to do any of the things Jeff talked about. I think the financial date night is a great idea. When couples plan to set aside time to talk about finances (or any other stressful matter), it can relieve the stress of “how do I” or “when do I” bring up my questions or concerns to my partner. Just to make it easier to stay focused, couples can bring notes with them for these discussions. Holding the meeting under the guise of a “date” sets the tone that this is about connection and having the meeting outside of the home reduces the chances of the couple getting emotionally triggered and arguing over a difficult item. I would caution you that couples that have been avoidant of talking about their finances have probably been avoidant about other topics as well. Getting back into talking about these uncomfortable topics can add stress to an already stressful situation. Keep in mind that the financial date night, should be looked at as a time for collaborative problem solving and a time to express concerns effectively. If couples that have been avoidant in the past find that they’re still having trouble addressing the issue or don’t know how to go about talking about it, I’d recommend that they seek out a few sessions with a licensed marriage and family therapist. Most marriage therapists are interested in helping couples effectively communicate and develop the skills to talk with each other safely & authentically without needing the therapist. Deciding to go to couples counseling can be intimidating but it’s really not uncommon for couples to reach out when they are about to embark on trying new behaviors or ways of communicating to ask for help with that.Whatever your financial situation is, Jeff Motske's book, "The Couples Guide to Financial Compatibility" can be a healthy starting point for exploring your financial philosophies as a couple and gaining some guidance on ways to discuss the financial planning of some of life's milestones.Resources:JeffMotske.com You can find Jeff's book "The Couples Guide to Financial Compatibility" as well as his "War of the Wallets" quiz and links to Trilogy Financial Services hereReal Hope/Free communication tips providing some free helpful tips online for increasing healthy couple communication.Harville Hendrix Intentional Dialogue Exercise Harville Hendrix is a master of couple relationship dynamics. He is the founder of IMAGO Therapy. His Intentional Dialogue exercise is a communication strategy designed to help you work through issues or disagreements that may be holding you back from a more intimate and fulfilling relationship with your partner.Love Pong Love Pong is an interactive online game designed to help couples improve their communication and express their emotions more effectively.Money issues are still really stressing out Americans - / cnn.com *****************************************************************If you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a great review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening! 

Life can throw a lot of hardships in our paths, which it seems only the mentally strong can withstand... Following tragic losses in her life, Amy Morin LCSW wrote a list to remind herself how to keep going. Shared on lifehack.org, the list went viral, then flooded Forbes. Like a beacon in the night, Amy's worldwide best-selling book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, gives us all simple lessons in resiliency in a world where adversity can leave us feeling isolated..  Amy’s life was going along pretty well.  But, when she was 22, her mother died suddenly of a brain aneurysm.  Her mother  was only in her early 50’s.  Most people aren’t ready to lost their parents even if they pass away much older, but no one expects their parents to die that young. That’s just not supposed to happen! Amy was healing from that though.  She was young in her career as a clinical social worker, was married and starting her life with her husband.  But then, on the 3rd anniversary of her mother's death, her 26 year old husband died of a heart attack.  What?!? As Amy put the pieces of her life together.  She found a way to honor her young husband’s memory.  Every year on his birthday, she would get together with his family and  participate in life-affirming experiences.  Sometimes they  were adventurous trips, other times, they were more subdued, but they always made it fun and didn’t wallow in his loss.  They found a way to see through the pain of the loss to celebrate life: his and theirs.Then, a few years later, Amy found love again and got remarried.  She and her new husband were enjoying the early days of this marriage and looking forward to their life together.  But then, tragedy struck yet again.  This time, her new father-in-law was diagnosed with untreatable cancer. She was then faced with the anticipation of the loss of someone else she was close to – as well as the anticipation of having to help her new husband cope with the loss of his parent.  The pain she, of course, knew all too well.  This is when Amy decided she was really going to have to pull from all the mental strength she could find.Amy initially wrote the original list of “13 Things…” for herself.  She speaks of doing it as a reminder to herself of how to successfully cope.  She was working as a therapist and was good at helping others find their mental strength, but she discovered that focusing on what to do worked for a while, but she found “not so healthy” habits creeping in to sabotage her. The list helped her understand that she would/could survive these losses. Then, she realized others might benefit from the list and this is when the list took on a life of its’ own.  She posted the article on Lifehack.org (you can read it here ).  The list went viral within a few hours.  The traffic generated from the article shut the page down!   It was then re-posted on several other sites, including Forbes.com where it set a record at over 10 million views!  To this day, it is still one of their most viral posts.It was after all this web attention, that Amy was approached by Harper Collins publishing house and asked to turn the list into a book.  So, that’s exactly what she did.  The book went on to become a bestseller.  I think many people related to her story of strength and perseverance and found her advice practical and actionable.Here is the list of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves,They don’t give away their power,They don’t shy away from change,They don’t waste energy on things they can't control,They don’t worry about pleasing everyone,They don’t fear taking calculated risks,They don’t dwell on the past,They don’t make the same mistakes over and over,They don’t resent other people’s success,They don’t give up after the first failure,They don’t fear time alone,They don’t feel the world owes them anything,  andThey don’t expect immediate results.Amy talks of our mental capabilities as a muscle that can be exercised and strengthened.  I also subscribe to this thinking.  One of my favorite things to work on with my clients is helping them build their mental strengths, or resiliency traits.  We are all born with part of our personality predetermined by our genetics.  How the other part of our personality developed is thought to be determined by how we are nurtured.  As we are growing up, we receive certain messages about how we should or shouldn’t deal with stress, upset, disappointment, as well as love, happiness and all the rest of our emotions.  Those messages are internalized and stored as fact, even if they are not in our best interest.  For instance, I learned as a child that when I am stressed out I should eat to make myself feel better, which led to a struggle with weight as an adult due to my engagement int his self-soothing behavior.  I've had to learn to fight against what fact that although not true, nor in my best interest.Amy Morin’s “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” takes a refreshing spin on how to overcome struggle and, in her case, multiple losses.  Amy’s list resonates with many of us I believe because collectively we have been focusing on what “to do” or what we “should do”.  When we don’t “do” what we are “supposed to do to be healthy”, we end up feeling like a failure. However, Amy’s list focuses on “what not to do”.  Such a different way of thinking! I say this because when we  twist up, say, #11. “They don’t fear time alone” into the “You should do this” type of list, it becomes “They are comfortable being alone”.  Somehow not fearing something feels much different than “you should be comfortable” with something.   That way of thinking can set many people up for failure.   I believe if we re-wrote the list  from the “what to do” perspective, it would start to sound like “Mentally strong people just do more then you when you are tired of trying”.  Not very empowering.Strengthening those emotional muscles to help you become stranger and more resilient takes active work.  I’ll leave you with this.   The work can be tough, but if your perspective is accepting and forgiving of yourself, reminding yourself of what not to do can feel achievable.Resources13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do Amazon.comAmy Morin's website5 Powerful Exercises to Increase your Mental Strength Amy Morin7 Ways Mentally Strong People Handle Stress More Effectively Amy Morin ***************************************************************************If you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a great review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening! 

The topic is codependency: what it is and what it is NOT; the difference between normal and codependent behaviors and what a person can do to help themselves.Do you know someone who hasa need to be perfect,low self-esteem,poor boundaries with others,a need to control their environment, andchronic dissatisfaction in relationships ?If those descriptions ring a bell, you probably know someone who may be considered 'codependent'. If you’re into self-help at all, you probably have heard the term codependency- it’s often talked about it in terms of one having a codependent personality.  I want to be clear that codependency is NOT a diagnosable condition, although it is talked about in those terms. You may also have been familiar with it, but have been unsure of a clear definition of it. That’s because there is not 1 universal definition of it. There is however, consensus that it is a cluster of behaviors in relationships which can be somewhat easily identified and very often problematic.The history of the term dates back to the 1940s and early 1950s. Primarily it was identified in studying the behavior of an alcoholic within the context of their family experience. The behaviors identified as codependent appeared to be a pattern in these families. The use of the term seemed to explode though a few decades later. In the 1980s with the advent of a focus of family system dynamics, several books came out designed to help people break those dysfunctional behavior patterns. The most famous book that still is referenced today on the subject is Melody Beattie's "Codependent No More". During that time, everyone started studying the families of alcoholics and saw these behaviors but as the clusters of behaviors became more recognizable, so did the fact that so many other people exhibited the same behavior patters who did not come from alcoholic families. The term is now popularly used to generally describe a cluster of behaviors in relationships.Codependency DecodedThis article accompanies Episode 4 of The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast and focuses on behavior in relationships that have come to be identified as “codependent behavior”. We will explore the behavioral patterns that are identified as codependent, suspected causes of these behavioral patterns, some things a person can do to change their codependent behavior and some additional resources so you can learn more about the subject.Darlene Lancer,JD, LMFT of Whatiscodependency.com and darlenelancer.comMy expert guest is Darlene Lancer, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Santa Monica, Ca. She has dedicated her career as a therapist to helping people work through and overcome their struggles with codependent behavior. She has several books published on the subject including “Shame and Codependency” and “Codependency for Dummies”.What is Codependency?Codependency is a term that came into popular psychology culture in the 1980’s, although it’s been around since the 1940s. With the advent of family systems psychology coming into its own in the 1970’s, the studies of family dynamics appears to have been a factor in the movement towards identifying codependent behavioral interactions in the 1980’s. For as much as it is widely used in popular psychological vernacular, it does not have a universal definition, but rather it is used to describe a common set of behavioral patterns. In the 1950’s, codependency was viewed as learned behavior in families of alcoholics or addicts. It was first used to describe the personality traits of people who were typically in relationships with alcoholics – this could be intimate relationships or in families with alcoholics.What researchers and therapists have discovered since then is that, although there is certainly a pattern of behaviors associated with those addict/alcoholic families, they are not all that different than some of the behaviors of families with other sorts of emotional struggles (we will discuss further in what causes codependency).  When it was first introduced, the term codependency was used as a shortcut to describe the codependent person’s need for approval from others and the self-sacrificing nature of their own emotional needs. When we (therapists) work with persons who are  codependent, the self-sacrificing and approval seeking are common themes.When you read on and see the list of behaviors associated with codependency you will recognize that these behaviors are prevalent in the general population and are not necessarily reserved for those in addict/alcoholic families.    The term is now universally accepted as a description of a cluster of behaviors that dictate how a person acts in a a relationship.What Codependency is NOTCodependency, although discussed in terms of “symptoms” and a “condition” for which “treatment” can be provided is NOT actually a diagnosable psychiatric disorder such as anxiety or depression.  There were attempts at having it entered in the Diagnostic & Statistical Manual (the diagnostic text of the mental health profession), but it was not accepted as a clinical disorder. The cluster of behaviors is, however, considered to be emotionally stifling and resentment-breeding for both the person who is codependent and the person they love. The good news then, is that since it is not a “personality disorder”, which by definition is an ingrained and unchangeable part of us since it’s part of our personality, if you recognize yourself as orienting yourself in codependent ways, you can make changes to engage in ways which are more fulfilling and satisfying for you.Are you Codependent?This article is not meant for you to find a reason to label yourself or anyone else, but it can be helpful to explore the behaviors that are considered, when clustered together, to represent what we know as a ‘codependent’ person. Most people can relate to some of these behaviors some of the time. If one is to consider themselves as orienting themselves in a codependent way, they should recognize their interactions as a prolonged, pervasive pattern of these behaviors which have left the person feeling unsatisfied and resentful in their relationships.Some of the key characteristics of a codependent person are:Low Self-Esteem: We’ve all heard the term. It’s when someone just doesn’t think too much of themselves. They usually don’t think they deserve as good as everyone else. This trait on its own can lead people to make poor judgment calls in their relationships – typically they pick people who can’t or won’t fully love them. They might engage in relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable (i.e. married or otherwise involved with someone else, addicted to drugs or alcohol, or a workaholic). They have a tendency to stick with an unsatisfying relationship long past recognizing that it is such.Poor Boundaries with others: This can present itself in different ways. Most typically it’s a person who is over-involved in others’ lives. Often, this is an unwelcome over-involvement, as with the case of the spouse of an addict. Because they may not trust their addicted partner (due to the addict behaviors) they have a tendency to “need to know everything”. They will also share with everyone. The “town gossip” has poor boundaries. That person is easier to see because we usually have a visceral reaction when someone tells us something we shouldn’t know about someone else. As a couple’s therapist I hear stories all the time of over-involved in-laws or siblings. It’s the person who has something to say about everyone’s relationship. Poor boundaries also cross-over with people pleasing traits.  A person with poor boundaries will also take on everyone else’s problems, volunteer to help when they have their own needs to tend to that go over-looked, and generally have a difficult time saying “no” to others. Their motivation is NOT malicious. It falls in line with the people pleasing motivation – that they are afraid if they say “no” to someone, they won’t be liked or loved anymore.  It’s usually easy to teach a person to set healthier boundaries in relationships once this gets identified.People Pleasing: One of the behaviors that breeds the most resentment in a codependent relationship is that the codependent person has a pervasive desire to be liked by everyone. The codependent person will set aside their needs for everyone else’s. They do it under the guise of “being nice” or “being a good person”, but they end up resenting the people they are trying to please when they feel they are not getting the same self-sacrificing behavior in return. The previously-mentioned low self esteem drives them to give much more in a relationship that they ever expect, received or think they deserve. They often give much more of themselves even at the beginning of new relationships. When you see someone taking on their new partner’s problems right at the beginning of the relationship (i.e. lending money, letting them move in right away, getting involved in their family problems, etc.) you are most likely witnessing a codependent person in action.Care taking: The codependent person has a need to care take for others that far exceeds any sense of expected behavior. They are naturally nurturing, but the often “care too much”. This can be exhibited in behavior that appears to be over-doing for others. While everyone likes have a friend or a partner that is nurturing, the level the codependent person takes it to is suggestive of controlling through their care taking.  The motivation for this appears to be two-fold: 1. their partner can’t let them down by not attending to their needs and 2. They have control of that environment (keep reading to see more about the need for control).Reactive: The codependent person typically feels their emotions deeply and are often overly sensitive and can perceive themselves as being criticized by others, particularly their partner, which leads to reactions that appear out of sync with the situation.Controlling: As mentioned in the people pleasing section, the codependent person has a need to control their environment and their relationship. This appears to be out of a need for safety- if they control their environment, they convince themselves that they can trust it. We know that is not an accurate perception as when dealing with 2 people in a relationship we can never fully control what the   other person thinks, feels, or does. The codependent person convinces themselves into a false sense of security which allows them to move forward in relationships that often have stresses, or “red flags” that go unnoticed or denied.Dependent: The codependent person is not necessarily dependent on their partner for financial or other stability factors, but rather, they are dependent on the relationship usually out of a fear of being alone. They attach strongly to their partners and become helpless to express their own emotional needs out of a fear of abandonment.Engages in Denial: This is usually pretty easy to see as an outsider looking in on a relationship between a codependent and their partner. As the concept of “red flags” was introduced earlier, they are often ignored or otherwise overlooked by a codependent person in order for them to maintain congruence between what they believe their relationship to be and what it actually is. This is a tough factor and this is usually very strong when the codependent has become involved with someone with addiction issues. They can often overlook the substance abuse problem for a long time. It is not unusual for a codependent person to engage in making excuses for their partner’s behavior, for instance, “Oh she wasn’t drunk – he was on migraine medicine from her doctor”.What if you have these traits?In exploring this list, I should note that codependency should be viewed through a contextual and cultural lens.There are definitely cultures I can think of in which the matriarchs over-function and care-take for the family, they get in everyone’s business (poor boundaries), they live to please their family and they are seemingly so dependent on their family it appears they would not be able to survive without them. In some cultures, we call that person “Grandma”. So please remember, this is meant to inform you, rather than diagnose or label anyone.After viewing these behaviors within your contextual environment, if you recognize them in yourself, there are ways to modify your behavior so that you don’t feel driven to meet other people’s needs before your own leading you to feel more fulfilled in your relationships.What causes codependent behavior?In addition to the focus on the codependent behavior being born out of families in which addiction was present, there are theories around the origins of codependent behavior developing in families in which the codependent person was raised by a narcissistic parent. We know that although they may love their children,  when sick with the disease of addiction, addicted parents are emotionally unavailable to them.  With narcissists the crux of the disorder is they do not notice, or care about, other people’s needs or how their behavior affects others (APA, 2012). Consequently, a narcissistic parent would not be mindful of their child’s emotional needs. Darlene Lancer theorizes that codependency is born out of dysfunction and pain in the family of origin. This certainly can be the emotional make-up of a person raised by either a narcissist or an addict.This lack of emotional engagement by the parents can lead a child to “over-function”, making excuses for the emotional unavailability of the parent (“I’m sure mommy loves me in her own way”) and controlling their environment out of a need for safety.A child being raised by an emotionally unavailable parent does not typically learn appropriate reactions to stress or other uncomfortable emotions.  Such children can certainly develop into emotionally reactive adults out of those circumstances. This leads to them over reacting, or conversely under reacting and good at exhibiting the associated denial of problems.There’s been an explosion in recent years in the field of psychology focusing on emotional intelligence. This could be a counter-reaction to realizing that there are so many people that relate to some codependent behavior traits. It is important for our own wellness to be able to understand, feel and express our emotions accurately and effectively.  A movement towards more awareness in this area feels appropriate.Codependent behavior doesn’t happen only within the bubble of intimate relationships.Ms. Lancer points out that codependency speaks of how a person orients themselves in the world behaviorally and relationally. She reminds us that we are the same person, but may act differently in different relationships. Therefore if someone is codependent at home, they may exhibit some codependent behaviors in other areas of their life such as work and friendships.She also points out that we often think of codependent people as passive, but that may not always be the case. As already mentioned, one of the “symptoms” is that the person is controlling. Sometimes this is done in passive ways. Other times, they are very demanding of others.The codependent person still may not get their emotional needs met, but they believe they are cared for when their partner does what they command.What can one do to change their behaviors?In order to change behavior, one needs to first recognize that the behavior is problematic to themselves and their relationships. This can be tough to do. Many people seeking help for codependency usually present at a therapist’s office or a self-help group complaining of bad relationship choices.“Why do I keep picking the wrong guy/gal?”It is sometimes only after exploring the behavior the person describes in their relationships that the codependency is discovered. If you have related to what’s been presented in this article and podcast you are already becoming more self-aware.Darlene Lancer describes the behavior changes as “healing” from codependency.She divides the healing process into two sections: healing yourself and healing your relationships with others.Some steps involved in healing yourself are:Seek help and supportLearn to have patience with yourselfUnderstand where your codependent nature comes fromHeal old wounds, losses and traumasGet to know yourself betterBuild self-esteem and self-loveFind pleasureSome steps involved in healing your relationships with others are:Take responsibility for yourselfAccept the reality of your situationDecrease your own reactivityLearn to communicate effectivelySet boundaries with othersConflict managementLearning to make changes in your relationship with families and friends around how you relate to them“Codependency for Dummies” is replete with chapters on how to accomplish all these changes through exercises, self-assessments and instructions.Resources for educating yourself, making and maintaining changesMaking and maintaining behavioral changes can be difficult. For those that have taken steps to make the changes and are still having difficulty, seeking out a therapist who specializes in codependency can help. In addition to 1:1 therapy, peer run self-help groups also exist. Darlene Lancer, LMFT’s writings on codependency, along with her contact information and books can be found at whatiscodependency.com.Codependency for Dummies can be found on amazon.comCodependency for Dummies by Darlene Lancer LMFT (2013).This book is a start-to-finish guide on identifying, understanding and healing from codependent behaviors.Codependents Anonymous (CODA) – This is a fellowship of men and women whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships.This is a nationwide 12-step program. In addition to the groups, their website is full of valuable and helpful information.Codependent no More by Melody Beattie (1986)This book has been the long-touted handbook of identifying and recognizing codependency. Ms. Beattie was a pioneer in the field of codependent literature.The Human Magnet Syndrome  Ross Rosenberg, M. Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT.  He is another expert in the field of codependency.  There are links to books, articles and more on the subject of codependency.PsychCentral.com article by Darlene Lancer focuses on how to help a codependent person get over a break up.**************************************************If you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a great review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!  

Dr. Colleen Mullen speaks with retired Detective Mike Proctor, author of ‘Antidote for a Stalker‘.In this fascinating interview, you will find out about the mindset of stalkers and how to protect yourself from them. You will also hear about the evolution of the anti-stalking laws in the United States and the protection they now afford all of us. The Law is there to protect you, and Mike Proctor’s book will show you how to deal with a stalker."Stalking is a growing concern throughout the world, not just in North America. More and more countries like the United Kingdom, Australia, and Japan are experiencing an upsurge of stalking throughout their communities. College campuses have become a breeding ground for the stalker. Workplace violence oftentimes revolves around a stalking scenario that has either evolved within the confines of the workplace, or enters into the workplace from a stalking that was initiated away from that workplace.Awareness, stricter laws, and a more focused multi-disciplinary law enforcement approach are the keys to defeating this dangerous problem. "- DetectiveMikeProctor.comWe all have heard stories of someone who was stalked. There are of course, the stories of celebrity stalkers – their stalkers are primarily unknown to their target. Then there are the stories of the friend who had an ex that just wouldn’t leave them alone. There’s definitely a difference between someone who is just having trouble accepting a break up and someone who is being stalked. As you’ll hear in the podcast episode that accompanies this article, I have a personal story of being stalked by someone unknown to me. In this article, I’ll present you with some relevant facts and figures on the history and prevalence of stalking, how to find out what the laws are in your state, some of the types and psychological profiles of stalkers and some ways to protect yourself and get help if you are the target of a stalker.A brief history of stalking legislationtalking has been around as long as people have been having relationships, but the laws protecting those targeted have only been around since the early 1990’s. According to the National Institute of Justice, stalking is defined as “a course of conduct directed at a specific person that involves repeated (two or more occasions) visual or physical proximity, non-consensual communication, or verbal, written, or implied threats, or a combination thereof, that would cause a reasonable person fear”.California was the first state to enact stalking legislation. In 1990, California Legislators developed Penal Code 646.9 as a result of a series of murders that took place in situations of domestic violence in which restraining orders were already on the books. The law was enacted to provide target persons with more legal recourse when restraining orders were disobeyed.Right around that time, there were also 2 widely publicized celebrity stalking cases – one lead to the death of a young actress and the other left another actress the victim of a violent stabbing attack. The murdered actress was Rebecca Schaeffer – her stalker obtained her address from a private investigator. She was killed by her stalker in 1989.Prior to that, Theresa Saldana was pursued and violently stabbed in front of her home in 1982. Saldana subsequently became a stalking victim advocate. She founded an advocacy organization in the late 1980s, “Victims for Victims” and told her story through a TV movie. Her advocacy also led to the 1994 Driver’s Privacy Protection Act which was a result of her attack. This legislation prevents the disclosure of personal information by the DMV to persons other than as designated by the holder of the information. This sounds to be akin to what we currently hold as Protected Health Information in the healthcare industry.After California, the rest of the states followed suit.Whilst the guidelines may be similar, each state may have different provisions regarding status of a restraining order, age and electronic stalking criteria.You can find your the laws pertinent to your state at the National Center for Victims of Crime (NCVC).Also on the NCVC site is a wealth of information including resources if you are, or think you are, being stalked: how to get help and even a log sheet so that you can keep good records of the unwanted contact.All 50 states have stalking laws on the books.Some stalking facts according to the National Center for Victims of crime:7.5 Million people are stalked each year in the United States15% of women and 6% of men have experienced stalking in which they were fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed.61% of female victims and 44% of male victims are stalked by a current or former intimate partner.About half of the victims report their stalking happening before age 25.78% of stalkers use more than one means of approach (i.e. calling, texting, emailing, following).Weapons are used to harm or threaten victims in 1 out of 5 cases.Almost 1/3 of stalkers have stalked before.46% of stalking victims are fearful from not knowing what will happen next.20% of victims fear the stalking will never stop.1 in 7 victims move as a result of their victimization.The prevalence of anxiety, insomnia, social dysfunction, and severe depression is much higher among stalking victims than the general population, especially if the stalking involved being followed or having one’s property destroyed.76% of intimate partner female homicide (femicide) victims have been stalked by their intimate partner.67% were physically abused previously by the partner.89% of femicide victims who had been physically assaulted had also been stalked in the 12 months prior to their murder.54% of femicide victims reported stalking to police before they were killed by their stalkers.Less than 1/3 of states classify stalking as a felony upon first offense.More than ½ the states classify stalking as a felony upon second or subsequent offenses or when the crime involves “aggregating factors”The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast guest expert on this subject, Retired Detective Mike Proctor is one of the foremost experts on profiling and protecting oneself from stalkers. He spent over 30 years on the job as a law enforcement officer and was involved in one of the first documented stalking cases. He was a principal in developing a stalking protocol for law enforcement agencies and has spent his days profiling the mindset and behaviors of stalkers. Though an expert through all his on the job experience, he remains modest. He differentiates himself as a hands-on expert noting that he has participated in over a hundred stalking cases over the years, but has not clinically studied stalkers the way psychologists do at various research institutions. His books are written to help law enforcement, stalking victims and advocates to understand the mind of the stalker and to better protect themselves. Proctor’s most recent book is “Antidote for a Stalker” (2013). If you ever wanted to know anything and everything about stalkers, that book is the one to read. Type of Stalkers (Proctor, 2013)The Domestic Violence Stalker (DV): most prevalent group, starts in intimate relationship that is subjected to DVThe Acquaintance Stalker (AS): non-intimate knowledge of the stalker by the target – this can be someone they know well who may have been a friend, or it can be someone they met just once or twice.The Stranger Stalker (SS): considered the most frightening type because of the lack of knowledge of who they are which leads to a fear of what they are capable of doing. The podcast episode that accompanies this article tells the story of my experience with a Stranger Stalker.Proctor then details subsets of types of stalkers. These are meant to help understand the behavior a bit more closely by signaling additional patterns of behavior.Catherine Zeta-Jones  Catherine Zeta-Jones was the victim of Triangle Stalking. The stalker, a woman,  had a delusion that she was in a love relationship with Michael Douglas, the husband of Zeta-Jones. The stalker wanted to get Zeta-Jones out of the way so that she could be with him.  The Triangle Stalker (TS): This is an example of when there is a target person who is in the way of the stalker (i.e stalking the wife to get at the husband as in the cast of the stalking of Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas. Zeta-Jones was targeted to get her out of the way for the female stalker to go after Micheal Douglas).The Predator Stalker (PS): This is exemplified by stalkers that stalk their victim for a period of time before they inflict violence on them.  The most infamous example of this is the BTK (bind, torture, kill) killer. He stalked his victims before he eventually killed them.The Third Party Stalker (TPS): This is rare, but it is when the actual stalker brings in an accomplice to help him/her stalk their intended victim or inflict violence on them or their property to instill fear (i.e. Proctor details the story of an abusive husband who hires someone to damage his wife’s personal property on several occasions after she left him).The Retribution Stalker (TRS):This is exactly as it sounds – this stalker believes they need to get back at, or get retribution for harm they perceived was done to them. This is common in workplace settings (i.e. a laid off worker may stalk the former boss and enact a scenario of revenge on them).The Neighborhood Stalker (TNS): In this case the stalker and the stalking victim are neighbors. These have typically been difficult for law enforcement. These can be erotic-type stalking (i.e being obsessed with someone with love fantasies, or it can be the typical “bad-neighbor” scenario – stalking them with malicious intent with hatred and distrust fueling the interactions). Both have the potential to be very dangerous.Juvenile Stalkers: Minors who engage in stalking behavior- very often these are “love-based” in their origins – either its’ gone bad or gone unrequited. These are becoming more and more prevalent in recent years.Campus Stalkers: These are their own subset so that they are on the radar of campus police, instructors and officials. They can be very dangerous and there is a marked increase in these incidents over the last decade.There are, of course, psychological disorders that are commonly associated with stalking behaviors. An entire chapter is dedicated to the personality types most associated with stalking behavior. Det. Proctor details case studies of all these types and subsets in “Antidote for a Stalker”. He provides an inside look at what these look like and gives true case examples of them. If you are as fascinated with true crime stories and psychological profiling as I am, you’ll really find the book an exciting read.The Stalkers Bag of TricksAntidote for a Stalker on Amazon.comDet. Proctor dedicates a chapter to what he calls the “Stalker’s Bag of Tricks”. These are all the ways a stalker can get to their victim. Among other things, he cites: vandalism, surveillance, targeting their animals, court harassment, identity theft, cyberstalking, cyberbullying, and workplace violence stalking. This is when I think if anyone is wondering if they are being stalked, it becomes very clear by way of the means through which the stalker initiates contact with the intended.What to do if you are being stalkedDet. Proctor stresses the importance of the following Get law enforcement involved.Document everything.Notify your workplace,Get your family and friends up to speed on what’s going on – definitely don’t keep it a secret. There are times when someone thinks they may have given a stalker the wrong signal – please don’t worry about that. Once stalking has commenced, it is dangerous and you have a right to be protected by the law.Stop all contact with the stalker. This may seem live a no brainer, but, as in the case of acquaintance stalking, one can believe that if they are nice and polite enough to their stalker, they may get the point and leave them alone. Don’t try this. A stalker is someone who is potentially dangerous and is most likely aware that you do not wish to be pursued. I say “most likely” because they could have an erotomanic delusion convincing them that you are in love with them – these can be highly dangerous.Develop a safety planReview your home for safety measuresGet a restraining order if you qualifyUtilize your Neighborhood Watch program if it is availableThere are times when, depending on their ages, it can be important to tell your kids what is going on for their protection and yours. There is so much information packed into “Antidote for Stalker”. I encourage you to check it out for yourself.  Retired Detective Mike Proctor can be found at his website detectivemikeproctor.com. He is available for teaching and speaking engagements on this subject.*************************************************************If you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a great review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!