Podcasts about stop bitching

The Ochelli Effect 4-24-2025 NEWSTrump Fixed Everything Day One! Stop Bitching about EGGS DAMNIT! Besides it hasn't been 100 Days Yet, and oh yeah, Biden Crime Family, Hunters Laptop, and every administration before this one Screwed up all the trade deals. Don't you dare remind us that one of those major trade agreements with Canada and Mexico was the New NAFTA as in, USMC authored proudly by Agent Orange himself.We are the cult where real americans count but TRUMP IS LORD!---Russian strike on Kyiv kills at least 12 in biggest attack on Ukrainian capital since last summerhttps://apnews.com/article/russia-ukraine-war-kyiv-strike-913ca4a6b4e624ed50e6c1018576a8adDonald Trump Gives Update on Potential Ukraine, Russia War Dealhttps://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-gives-update-potential-ukraine-russia-war-deal-2063353Zelensky Reacts to Ben Shapiro's Concerns Over US Military Aidhttps://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-gives-update-potential-ukraine-russia-war-deal-2063353---FORKED RIVER aka LACEY TOWNSHIP NEW JERSEY was burningMore Arrests Possible In 'Intentionally Set' Bonfire That Spread To 15K Acres In NJhttps://patch.com/new-jersey/lacey/waretown-man-accused-starting-jones-road-fire-burned-15k-acresFROM THE LIVE CHAT:CitizenGX: Oh shit Chuck, it says it started on 4 20, I bet there was a BIG party ALSO ALSO, Chuck gives you unique insight and exclusive analysis on a Jersey Story that will  rapidly stop heading up the Lines in News-Land. Is it really arson when a dumbass kid party in the woods goes wrong because Smokey The Bear isn't a thing in his generation? To be fair Smokey The Bear might be the name of Some strains of cannabis at the local Weed Store. By The Way, Ever Try School House Rock? That Shit is Bangin'!---In Other Words on Other Worlds with Different Agenda from Here, Now, & Whatever in Hell is happening today, this, Hour and in Between Truth Social and X Tweets...‘The Conners' Bosses Tease the Series Finale Is ‘Going to Be Really Emotional'https://www.tvinsider.com/1184619/the-conners-series-finale-emotional-ending/The Conners ending: How the spinoff's series finale said goodbye to Roseanne (again)https://ew.com/the-conners-ending-series-finale-saying-goodbye-roseanne-11720812‘The Conners' Bosses Tease the Series Finale Is ‘Going to Be Really Emotional'https://www.tvinsider.com/1184619/the-conners-series-finale-emotional-ending/Ochelli was contacted by Natureboy from an alternate universe, or his evil twin. You Decide.WE HAVE RECORDED MESSAGES!! Like Some EVP from a discarded portion to a Black Mirror script for Season 10 Outline or Rough Draft...‘The Conners' Bosses Tease the Series Finale Is ‘Going to Be Really Emotional'https://www.tvinsider.com/1184619/the-conners-series-finale-emotional-ending/---KEEP OCHELLI GOING. You are the EFFECT if you support OCHELLI https://ochelli.com/donate/Email Chuck or PayPalblindjfkresearcher@gmail.comBE THE EFFECTListen/Chat on the Sitehttps://ochelli.com/listen-live/TuneInhttp://tun.in/sfxkxAPPLEhttps://music.apple.com/us/station/ochelli-com/ra.1461174708Ochelli Link Treehttps://linktr.ee/chuckochelli

Mal ehrlich, keiner möchte doch, dass ständig an ihm oder ihr rumgenörgelt wird. Und sowieso machts ne doofe Stimmung. Auch jene festgefahrene Muster und blöde Unzufriedenheiten können wir shiften, indem wir hinschauen. Und dann wird auch die Beziehung schöner, kuscheliger, romantischer, einwandfrei & SELBSTVERANTWORTLICH.Viel Freude beim Lauschen!Zur FB Gruppe zum Podcast THE POWER OF LOVEEva Lara auf Instagram @evalara.coachingZur Homepage www.evalara.deZu den upcoming Live Events & Retreats www.evalara.de/retreatsDer wundervolle Titelsong ist von Alexia Chellun The Power is Here Nowwww.alexiachellun.com

What domestic violence sounded like in 1945Stan the Jokeman's type of slutty movie star!Returning favorite tv and computer shows!New Oklahoma laws guaranteed to keep you plastered and stupid!Joe Manchin? Who give a fuck?Let us surmise what would happen, if I decided to try and have another child with my wife! WATCH YOURSELF SPOILED STUPID EXTREMISTS!

Hey there, hero!The complaints about on-camera self-tapes have got to stop. Like, now.Yes, it's different than it used to be.But to rail against it is a super huge waste of time.And you on-camera folk that are so pissed off that you have to do most of your auditions at home should take a page out of the voice over talent playbook. Because we've been auditioning at home for decades, and we've learned to leverage it to our advantage.And you should do the same.Yes, it's different, and might be a bit more difficult the first few times you do it. But it really isn't the onerous responsibility that some would have you believe.And no, you shouldn't be paid for it. There are advantages to home self-tapes that more than make up for the disadvantages. And there are millions of free tutorials on how to do a competitive on-camera self tape, even if all you have is a window with natural light and a mobile phone.It is what it is. Stop bitching, grab a new skill and get back to acting.Agree? Disagree? Sad that I'm not being more sensitive to your struggles with technology? Let me know in the comments below.REQUEST: Please join this video's conversation on VOHeroes, where the comments are moderated and civil.#Acting #Voice #VoiceOver #Performance #Productivity #Tips #Art #Commerce #Science #Mindset #Success #Process #Options #BestPractices #MarketingThe VOHeroes Podcast is heroically built with: BuddyBoss (site platform and theme) LearnDash (learning management) DreamHost (website hosting) Screenflow (video recording/editing/production) eCamm Live (Facebook/YouTube Live production tool) Amelia (workout and event scheduling) MemberMouse (membership management) SamCart (ecommerce and affiliate platform) Aweber (email list management) GamiPress (gamification platform) Stackable Premium Blocks (advanced Gutenberg blocks) TextExpander (customer support content management) BuzzSprout (podcast management platform)

The Trends Journal is a weekly magazine analyzing global current events forming future trends. Find out more here: https://trendsjournal.com Follow Gerald Celente on Twitter: http://twitter.com/geraldcelente Follow Gerald Celente on Facebook: http://facebook.com/gcelente Follow Gerald Celente on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/geraldcelentetrends Follow Gerald Celente on Gab: http://gab.com/geraldcelente Copyright © 2022 Trends Research Institute. All rights reserved.

Let's get real here for a second... if you're not where you want to be, it's YOUR fault! We can sit down and make all the excuses in the book, but end of the day it comes down to YOU and your efforts! So in today's episode i'll be giving you guys some tactical advice to create some real change in ya damn life :) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sal-vittorio-jr/message

I built my entire business from Instagram and social media marketing. That's the truth. As much as I want to hate on it, I kind of can't! Hosted by Kristina Maccaro — Founder of Love Lane Salon and Love Lane Collective. Follow: @kristinamaccaro + @inhairwetrust + @lovelane.collective Email: info@lovelanecollective.com Music by: Paul Little

In this episode, I go over how you need to stop complaining and start building your business.   If you would like to get on the waitlist to join Ryan's Cohort visit: www.10loansamonth.com   I Love Mortgage Brokering: www.ilovemortgagebrokering.com

"Your perspective makes all the difference...be really intentional about appreciating the good things in life. "To bitch or not to bitch is the question, this episode is the answer! Angel Love joins the UFMB crew as they dissect why we bitch and how to take control of the things that drive us to frustration. If you find yourself bitching more and doing less, there are tons of actionable gems to shift your perspective and help you flip the ratio. So stop bitching and start listening! In this episode: Robyn Sayles, Chris "Jinx" Jenkins, Kathleen Seide, Shea Jeffers Angel Love More about Angel Love: With extensive experience in outbound sales and sales leadership Angel is an eternal optimist who clarifies complexities so that we realize the power we have to create the kind of world we actually want to live in. into the rabbit hole with me and let's explore how to bring the ideal to life. website: http://CuriousIdealist.com (http://CuriousIdealist.com) IG & Twitter: @thatangellove Facebook: @CuriousIdealist ******* get on our fucking email list: https://sendfox.com/ufmb (https://sendfox.com/ufmb) join our fucking facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/unfckmybusiness (https://www.facebook.com/groups/unfckmybusiness) subscribe to our fucking show: https://unfuckmybusiness.com/listen (https://unfuckmybusiness.com/listen) visit our fucking website: https://unfuckmybusiness.com/ (https://unfuckmybusiness.com/) ******* Below is a rough transcript for your convenience. It's not perfect because we want to spend our time unfucking your business, not unfucking this transcript. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Does your partner give you a hard time because you want more sex? Do you blame your work or family for getting in the way of what has you feel alive? And what do power and pleasure have to do with us becoming grumpy old men? Shana James has coached many guys over the years through the intersection between owning our power and having the experiences we most want. She’s got a new book called Power and Pleasure: A Man’s Guide to Becoming a More Confident and Satisfied Lover and Leader. Today we talk about how to shift our mindset from frustration into greater aliveness and fun. In this interview: What is pleasure? Is power about dominance? Being responsible vs having fun “What do I actually enjoy?” Why all of us have a bit of “nice guy syndrome” Seeing frustration as information Plus: Feeling guilty about wanting more pleasure What’s your role in your level of unhappiness? Waiting for someone to tell you what to do Are you a bad husband or father if you want time for yourself? Are you afraid to bring what you want to your partner for fear it’ll cause a problem? https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2021/05/shana-james-power-pleasure You don't have to settle. Click here to learn the same mindset principles that Tripp Lanier uses with his coaching clients — including Navy SEALs, executives, and entrepreneurs. The Daily Toolkit is available for immediate download. https://thenewmanpodcast.com Most men will let fear get the best of them. This book is not for most men. This Book Will Make You Dangerous is a swift kick in the ass that will make you laugh out loud. It’s a practical guide to play for what we truly want, to get over ourselves, and have a ton of fun along the way. This Book Will Make You Dangerous is now available at DangerousBookstore.com. http://dangerousbookstore.com

Authentic Fan Friday & what we're covering today:-1st day back in the stands-A's game-Giants game-How it is post covid-Parking-Concession-Warriors Update-Don't be that fan...-Authentic Fan Friday story, don't be that guy-Don't be that A's fan.... Weeknd update! Baseballs back everyone!! Enjoy, have a great weekend!!

Tarren & Randall Discuss You Internet Analyst Bitching and Complaining about the Brooklyn Nets forming a Super team just to beat a 36 year old LeBron James. (38:42) Plus What happened to the hype surrounding high school recruits going into college? (21:36) AND The NFL expands the NFL Season to 17 games. Our Question is, Why? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Tarren & Randall Discuss You Internet Analyst Bitching and Complaining about the Brooklyn Nets forming a Super team just to beat a 36 year old LeBron James. (38:42) Plus What happened to the hype surrounding high school recruits going into college? (21:36) AND The NFL expands the NFL Season to 17 games. Our Question is, Why?

*SHOW TIMESTAMPS FEATURED AT THE END*Episode Timestamps4:20 - Kevin’s New Normal8:00 - Finding Ways to Get Guys Motivated16:45 - Getting Paid More & Adding Value21:50 - Gerry’s Disagreement with Cody Hughes27:00 - Increasing Your Role with a Team33:10 - Difficulties of Gradually Giving Input as a Young Coach38:35 - Culture of the Industry48:25 - How to Warrant Your Worth50:00 - Understanding Sports and Their Movement Needs1:05:00 - Closing ThoughtsSupport the show (http://www.challengerstrength.com)

This show is bought to you by the Ultimate Podcast Group In today’s show James shares a top marketing hack - which is really simple, but it still not done by the majority - save time by batch recording your content. Having to do posts, articles, blogs, videos, emailers and podcasts can be very time consuming - especially if you do them sporadically, but batching the task of ‘content marketing’ together can overall save a lot of time, effort and energy. ——————————————— If you’re an entrepreneur or business owner that is interested in blowing up your brand using the power of audio, check  out the ULTIMATE PODCAST GROUP  (the team that make this very podcast)  http://bit.ly/ultimatepodcastgroup

The name says it all... It's the time of the year to focus on gratitude and the things that are good in life. Not all the bad.

Helen Zuman describes herself as “a tree-hugging dirt worshipper devoted to turning waste into food and the stinky guck of experience into fertile, fragrant prose.” Her memoir ‘Mating in Captivity’ details her experiences joining Zendik Farm, a commune in North Carolina with the motto ‘Stop Bitching, Start a Revolution’, which she came across in 1999. Helen stayed until 2004, but it wasn’t until the following year that she recognised she’d been in a cult. Special Guest: Helen Zuman Full research sources listed on each episode page at www.ltaspod.com. You can support the creation of this independent podcast at www.patreon.com/ltaspod. With thanks to Audio-Technica, presenting partner for season 4 of Let's Talk About Sects. If you have been personally affected by involvement in a cult, or would like to support those who have been, you can find support or donate to Cult Information and Family Support if you’re in Australia (via www.cifs.org.au), and you can find resources outside of Australia with the International Cultic Studies Association (via www.icsahome.com). If you or someone you know is in crisis or needs support right now, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 in Australia, or find your local crisis centre via the International Association for Suicide Prevention website at www.iasp.info. Credits:Written and hosted by Sarah SteelMusic by Joe Gould Links:Mating in Captivity: A Memoir — by Helen Zuman, She Writes Press, 2018The Green Alternative At Zendik Arts Farm, a Commune Strives for a Dollar and Change — by Fredrick Kunkle, The Washington Post, 22 January 2006Who Are These People? — by Ryan Grim, Washington City Paper, 4-10 November 2005Commune Unplugs From the World to Save It — by Tom Gorman, Los Angeles Times, 19 April 1987Leaving Zendik Farm — by Alison Rooney, The Highlands Current, 9 May 2017Wulf Zendik — Facebook pageArol Wulf-Zendik — Facebook profileThe Work of Wulf Zendik — online archive of Wulf Zendik’s writings

LuAnn Nigara is the co-owner of Window Works in New Jersey for over 30 years now, but she is probably most known now on a larger scale for her expertise on building, growing and sustaining a business. She hosts The Well-Designed Business Podcast, is a well-known speaker at trade shows and leads workshops.  Her expertise lies in helping others, including established business owners, develop the fine skils necessary to have their business prepped to withstand the ebbs and flows over decades!  Her expertise is also now captured in the book, A Well-Designed Business. In this episode, LuAnn shares a decision made at 18 that put her on the trajectory to business success; why systems are so key to a successful business,  how she grew and shifted over the years, and why some businesses just can't succeed.  PLEASE CHECK OUT LuAnnNigara.com to discover all the ways you can benefit from  LuAnn's expertise.   If you are enjoying The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, and you want to stay connected and want to chat about the episode, just follow us at Coaching Through Chaos on Facebook.If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.If you are a woman, interested in building your personal leadership qualities, check out Dr. Colleen's book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!  

Zendik Farms - Started by Wulf and Arol Zendik in 1969 in Southern California and later moved to Texas, North Carolina, and finally in West Virginia. It was based in New Age beliefs and was characterized as a sex cult. We have the privilege to interview Helen Zuman who was a member of Zendik for 6 years. She wrote a book, "Mating in Captivity" which can be purchased on Amazon or anywhere else books are sold. You may visit her website and purchase a signed copy. http://helenzuman.com/books/mating-in-captivity-a-memoir/ WARNING: Some subject matter may be inappropriate for children. Follow us on: Twitter: @cultscoffeecon1 Facebook: cultscoffeeconversation Instagram: cultscoffeeconvo Email: cultscoffeeconvo@gmail.com. Record a voice message on your smart phone and email it to us! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/cultscoffeeconvo/message

Anxiety, lonliness, anger, reactivity, sadness, loss, grief, confusion, fear - these are all emotions you may be feeling as you go through life under the pandemic restrictions.  This crisis has resulted in a collective trauma - we are all in this together and we are all affected by it in one way or another.  In my practice over the last month, I saw a defined uptick in a resurgence of my client's trauma symptoms from earlier in their lives.  I decided to do a special episode to help those in need understand this current situation through the lens of it as a trauma. I called in colleague, Dr. Reef Karim. Dr. Karim is a well-known neuroscientist, mental health physician and personal development expert.  You may know Dr Reef from his many appearances on Cnn, Oprah and other media outlets.  He now has a special offering to help you emotional survive this crisis - you can find his guidebook at The Crisis Manual.  On the next CTC episode, we focus on all the details of why you will want to get a copy for yourself! In this episode, Reef and I discuss:How trauma affects the brain and bodyHow false or exaggerated symptoms may present Key factors in building resilienceWe also cover these coping strategies (Im leaving as-is in the show notes, so that you have this as a reference if you should need it:1. STAY CONNECTED Social distancing is NOT Emotional Distancing – reach out to others. Family/friends.  If you were not well-connected socially before, this may feel ultra isolated– find an online group for something you enjoy or an actual support group. This is also the time to actually call and talk or skype or facetime someone.  If you’re feeling lonely, you can bet people you know are too.  They will appreciate the connection2. GET FRESH AIR EVERYDAY The best thing about this is that it happened in the spring, so most every part of the country has pleasant temperatures.  Fresh air and Sunlight help us feel refreshed, energized and can help our mood.  Moving our bodies is important more now than ever because it’s easy to get out of bed, get on the couch and never leave until you go to be again. Your body needs to move and you need to breath fresh air.3. CHALLENGE YOUR THOUGHTS For every time a person says- “This is hopeless”, there will be a story demonstrating a person who has overcome the illness. “I have nothing to do” – When’s the last time you called someone/organized your bathroom closet/planted a new flower pot? There are things to do. The point is that your brain will want to tell you things that keep you feeling discouraged/helpless/hopeless – there is always evidence to the contrary. 4. Get CREATIVE Amazon and all the other major stores are still delivering- now’s the time to tap into that hobby you’ve been putting off.  Maybe youre not particularly artistic or musically inclined.  It’s a great time to build something, tackle a home project you’ve been putting off, get crafty…. Maybe learning something new is how you get creative. Take an online course, learn a new language. Write, blog, craft, ……5. DISCONNECT FROM THE NEWS AND SOCIAL MEDIA  limit the time you watch…..turn the tv off….take 24 hours off the phone /news…..nothing is changing in 24 hours that you cant find out when you turn it back on6. TALK ABOUT IT AND KNOW WHEN TO TAKE A BREAK FROM TALKING ABOUT IT – whichever you need! If you haven’t been talking about how you’re feeling in this and just keeping a fine face, but going stir-crazy inside – its ok to call a friend and let them know you just wat to talk it through.  On the contrary – if every communication you have with everyone is about the virus and you’ve been on overload with the news, plan a virtual social hour with a friend with a rule that there is no talking about the virus – You will inevitably talk about things that remind you of your normal life – what you’ve been watching on Netflix, the puzzle you’ve been working on, the funny thing your kid said the other day.  Most importantly, this reminds you that there are normal experiences that are still happening all around you. HOW YOU CAN HELP OTHERSCALL SOMEONE YOU SUSPECT MIGHT BE ISOLATED AND FEELING LONELYOFFER TO PICK UP GROCERIES FOR ELDERLY OR AT RISK FRIENDS/NEIGHBORSSUPPORT LOCAL BUSINESSES THAT HAVE BEEN TEMPORARLY SHUTDOWN. GIFT CERTIFICATES OR PRODUCTS. GYMS, SALONS, MASSAGE PROVIDERS. RESTAURANTS.FIND OUT HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT LOCAL FOOD BANKS AND SHELTERS – DO THEY NEED CERTAIN SUPPLIES/TOILETRIES – WHAT’S IN YOUR BUDGET FOR HELPING THEM. (For those of us fortunate to be working or financially stable,we are ALL spending a lot less because we are not driving/going out to eat/getting hair done- there may be funds in your bank that can give you some room to support your community in ways you don’t normally have).*IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH SUBSTANCE ABUSE *People may be struggling with substance abuse and/or being a risk of relapse in this social isolationAA/NA groups are still being helpd onlineRehabs are still admitting new clientsTherapists are still accepting new clients*There is help available to those in need. *IF YOU HAVE A PRE-EXISTING MENTAL HEALTH CONDITIONSIf you know that you have pre-existing depression/anxiety/panic/bipolar or any other mental health struggle – NOW is the time to keep up sessions with your providers.  The medical professionals have been given the ability to telehealth – which means you can have a phone call/skype/zoon/facetime session- however you prefer with your therapist or psychiatrist. It is the time to keep up with your medication/treatment and things that you normally do to cope. It is also the time to reach out for added support through online support groups as you need them.*WHERE TO FIND HELP *The Crisis Manual .com  - This is a FREE guide to managing your emotions through a crisis.  This was developed by today's guest, Dr. Reef Karim. You can hear about The Crisis Manual in full detail in the next  pandemic-focused episode coming up in just a few days.PsychologyToday.comfor a mental health provider in your area 211.org –social services referral line if you are in need of inpatient or crisis house services – FOOD BANKS/housing/etcNational Suicide Prevention Talk Line –1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)*If you’re feeling suicidal and want someone to talk to when it is after hours for your mental health support providers. *Please go follow my guest- Dr Reef Karim at Instagram.com/ReefKarim or Facebook.com/DrReef or WORK WITH HIM at ReefKarim.com*Let me know what's working for you - How are YOU staying sane through this traumatic event?  You can reach out to me on the socials Facebook.com/CoachingThroughChaosInstagram.com/drColleenMullenTwitter.com/DrColleenMullen For a little light-hearted psycho-babble, make sure to check out the Shrink2Shrink Podcast wherever you love to listen. Colleen and fellow therapist, Courtney Calkins talk about love and live through one movie a month. Come and have some fun with us! Ladies! If you want to empower yourself or get inspired by other stories of successful women, get Dr Colleen's book: Stop Bitching , Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderUntil next time, I do hope you are safe and are finding the assistance you may need during this time. 

On this episode we get to hear an interview I did with Dr. Colleen Mullen, a licensed marriage and family therapist who lives in San Diego, CA. . She runs a private practice, and is the host of a great podcast called "Coaching Through Chaos". Dr. Mullen is also the author of a book on leadership for women called, “Stop Bitching, Just Lead… The 60 Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner Leader” Colleen has had a lifetime filled with unexpected changes and transitions and has come through them with insight and strength. We talk in this interview about the significant life change that happened when her mother died suddenly and she took her sister in to live with her. I am excited for you to get to hear the story. Dr. Mullen's Book Recommendation: Chaos: Making a New Science by James Gleick Dr. Mullen's Website: https://coachingthroughchaos.com/ Dr. Mullen's Book: "Stop Bitching, Just Lead!: The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner Leader" ~~~~~ Thanks for joining this episode. Here are some links to check out: Follow me on social: Instagram: @essentiallybetterlife Facebook: www.facebook.com/theessentiallybetterlife Check out my website www.essentiallybetterlife.com for all kinds of information on: * Business and Personal Coaching * My Book: “Essentially Better: essential oils for people with feelings” * And even some great stuff on Essential Oils. Support this podcast: by the support button right here, or going to our website… www.essentiallybetterlife.com. Thanks for listening. Blessings, be well my friends *Solo Acoustic Guitar by Jason Shaw is licensed under a Attribution 3.0 United States License. Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://audionautix.com/index.html. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-bruton/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wendy-bruton/support

We all have some sort of fear, but through the evolution of technology and the ability to get endless likes and reposts of our woes, our fears have become something of a cultural phenomenon.  What used to be one person telling a friend something shocking, whether true or not, we now live in a culture where that one friend is actually our social medial platform and there are people reinforcing our projections, leading to a hijacking of our emotions.  Our 24-hour news cycles also play into this cultural hijacking..  Not everything is a crisis, just because the news channels tell us it is.  How our news media and social culture perpetuate fear through our society is the subject of Dr Patrick Lockwood's book, The Fear Problem: How Technology and Culture Have Hijacked Our Minds and Our Lives. Listen in to hear:The evolution of how our news and social media channels has seemingly hijacked out emotional states.How fear is growing out of control in unnoticeable ways.The 2 types of fear and which one is easier to control.How the  brain regulates fear.  (I promise, you won't need a neuroscience degree to understand this).How fear can dictate an unhealthy attachment to our phones.Some of the consequences of letting our fear get out of control.What can we do to counteract this collective fear response to non-crisis events.You can find Dr Patrick Lockwood at PatrickLockwoodHealing.com .If you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a gret review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast  The Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!

You want a Roy Lichtenstein-style paining on your wall? Talk to Jodie. You want a beautiful mid-century modern table for your living room? Talk to Jodie. You want the easiest and more sure-fire way to get your art pieces hung on your wall? For that , you also need to talk to Jodie.Jodie Royak of @RoyakStudio is an artistic craftsman who not only is living his dream as a full-time artist, but is also an inventor and successful entrepreneur. He is the inventor of BlinkHangers.com, where he "takes the anger out of hanger", Blink Hangers are a product that makes it so easy for everyone to fill their homes with art, without the hassle of figuring out how to hang it straight, because the Blink Hangers does it for you!Listen in as we discuss what Jodie loves about the creative process, what it was like for him to take his idea to creation and then distribution and selling out on the Home Shopping Network, advice for sticking with a dream, and he also tells the story of the piece of art he just can't part with (see my IG @DrColleenMullen for the pic).All listeners of The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast will receive a 25% discount on a 24 pack of Blink Hangers when you use the code: Chaos at checkout at blinkHangers.comCheck out Jodie's art on Instagram @RoyakStudioIf you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a gret review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Listen to The Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!

So many people spend their days looking for something to bitch about instead of focusing on producing. If you’ve ever been there before you know it can drain every last ounce of energy you have. Check out today’s commit and go podcast for a solid course correction to increase your daily productivity!

Colleen talks with Quentin about:His own journey on becoming the father of two boys,The similarities between BJJ and marriage.What it means about you if you believe all your ex's are crazy.How we can heal wounds from our childhoods through our marriage.And.... many more great relationship tips!If YOU want to be a husband who earns Black Belt status, or you want to find one- this episode is for you !To  follow Quentin, check out his IG: @Quentin_HafnerTo Buy the book on Amazon: Black Belt Husband To work with Quentin: QuentinHafner.com*********If you are enjoying The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast, and you want to stay connected and want to chat about the episode, just follow us at Coaching Through Chaos on Facebook.If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Listen to The Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!  

So many reasons and excuses as to why you may not have what you want. But today like everyday offers an opportunity. Check out today’s commit and go podcast

The weak talk about people. The strong talk about ideas

Musicians. STOP BITCHING about music venues. - Tim Charron podcast on music, business. life.Free guide to booking bigger, better gigs at www.HowToBookGigs.com

Corey and Aaron try to figure out why some Packers fans insist on being miserable, despite the team's 6-1 record. And they talk some football.

For you Giants fans who doesn't understand the concept of situational football, I knew "Clueless Shurmur" forfeited the game when he deferred & put the Vikings offense on the field first. Yes Engram had a bad game but Shep had a worst game, he dropped three critical passes in the game but he gets a pass. The last I'm not going to count because he was concussed and shouldn't been out there. Defense got cooked by Mr. Dalvin Cooke & Theilan ran wild. FUCK PAT SHURMUR!!

For you Giants fans who doesn't understand the concept of situational football, I knew "Clueless Shurmur" forfeited the game when he deferred & put the Vikings offense on the field first. Yes Engram had a bad game but Shep had a worst game, he dropped three critical passes in the game but he gets a pass. The last I'm not going to count because he was concussed and shouldn't been out there. Defense got cooked by Mr. Dalvin Cooke & Theilan ran wild. FUCK PAT SHURMUR!!

Stop Bitching About YouTube Demonetization#1: If you put all of your eggs in one (YouTube-colored) basket, that's your fault--- It's like YouTube was your employer, and all of a sudden they shut down your branch or your business unit and you got laid off.#2: The real money isn't the pennies from YouTube; the real money is everything else--- It's like YouTube cut off your allowance when they decided you doing things they didn't want you to do.#3: YouTube is only enforcing the rules they've had for MONTHS.--- You were living under YouTube's roof, and they decided they didn't like what you were doing, so they kicked you out.Moving Forward#1: Build a brand on a platform you own--- Start your own website on WordPress, it's free: https://www.ellorywells.com/startablog#2: View YouTube (or anywhere else) as a distribution channel, not your employer#3: Read the terms and conditions before you sign or sign up for anything#4: DailyMotion, Twitch, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, others?:::::Find & Rate Where to Smoke Cigarsat https://www.cigarscore.com:::::Where I buy my cigars: https://click.cigarscore.com/famoussmokePremium Cigar Samplers: https://click.cigarscore.com/fs-premiumsamplers:::::Subscribe to my YouTube Channel! - https://click.cigarscore.com/subscribeonyoutube::::: Gear I Typically Use in My Videos :::::Main camera: https://www.ellorywells.com/yt-canon80dMain lens: https://www.ellorywells.com/yt-canon18125mmMusic: https://www.cigarscore.com/musicLapel mic: https://www.ellorywells.com/yt-movolv1Sturdy tripod: https://www.ellorywells.com/yt-tripodTravel camera: https://www.ellorywells.com/yt-canong7xiiHandheld tripod: https://www.ellorywells.com/yt-manfrottoShotgun Mic: https://www.ellorywells.com/yt-videomicproCrazy-Cam: https://www.ellorywells.com/yt-hero5Ultra-wide lens: https://www.ellorywells.com/yt-canon1018mmMy close-up, headshot lens: https://www.ellorywells.com/yt-canon50mmGrippy tripod: https://www.ellorywells.com/yt-gorillapod:::::SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cigarscoreTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/cigarscoreInstagram: https://Instagram.com/cigarscore:::::AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER: Hey, so, some of the links in my videos and descriptions are affiliate links. But, I only recommend products/services I use and love myself =) More details here - https://www.cigarscore.com/ads-and-affiliate-disclaimer-disclosure/

The Rudebuoyz rant about people who refuse to live and let live. People who complain about gay people, about mixed relationships, relationships with age difference. Why is it that people can not let others be happy if they are not affecting society. 

Delson, Bryan and Frank return this week with Frank telling us all about what life in LA is like. Crackheads, tree and perception were the stand outs of the trip, but listen from the Dwarf's mouth yourself. This episode didn't have much of a theme like most do but we went over a lot of quick hits like these: - Sri Lanka attack - NBA Playoff Thoughts - Zimmerman making fake names - YNW Melly Death Penalty - 50 Cent Vs. Ja Rule - And Much More For those first time listeners thank you! Share if you rock with the podcast!

We talk about the steps to take your bitching to the next level without affecting others, being grateful, and taking responsibility and control of anything you do in life.

Your geographical location wasn't forced on you....you chose it...now it's time to own it.

Dan switches it up and reads his popular new LinkedIn article which implores reps to stop complaining about a lack of leads and to take on greater accountability- in short, transforming themselves into modern sellers. This episode focuses on the following key areas: 1. Personal Brand/POV 2. Giving a sh*t/Empathy 3. Always Adding Value 4. Creating Your OWN Demand Don't miss this new spin on modern selling

#73: Stop Bitching.

In Episode 9, “The Death of Trust And Its Resurrection”, Blenheim Partners’ Gregory Robinson is delighted to speak with Ian Elliot, one of Australia’s leading marketing minds.Ian learned the marketing ropes from the ground up. He began as a mail boy in Australia’s biggest advertising agency, George Patterson, and progressed to be its Chairman and CEO. Along the way he helped create some memorable and valuable brands like the Optus ‘YES’ campaign. Ian retired at just 48 years old, before transitioning to senior ASX listed NED and Chair roles.The informative and highly entertaining interview with Ian covers not just his personal and career journey but touches on some very important and prescient topics. He hits the high points of his best-selling book ‘Stop Bitching, Start Pitching’.Trust is at the heart of brand building and business success. Ian outlines examples of how he believes we are living in a period where trust has never before been breached on so many fronts. The potential commercial, economic and social implications are far reaching and disturbing. His references to the recent Royal Commission pulls no punches. Ian cements his views on trust by sharing his own stories of his experiences around the world in which trust can be earned in the most subtle of ways, whilst also presenting his proprietary formula for measuring trust expressed as a mathematical equation.‘Creating Wow Moments’ for clients is another topic Ian maintains is the key to successful profits. ‘I’m more interested in traction than transaction’ he says, ‘because repeat purchases by sticky loyal customers is the key to margin growth’. How he develops these outstanding moments of truth is fascinating.EVERYONE who hears this podcast will make a note of The Elliot Trust Formula and use it to measure the trustworthiness of those they need to rely upon. From staff to employers, to suppliers to shareholders, friends and extended family members. Most importantly he asks us to judge our own score for trustworthiness and use that to embark on a journey of continuous improvement.

RANT WHILE DRIVING! ANGRY Bonus Episode! Join me on this last minute, random RANT which was recorded from the car during one of my morning commutes! I just heard one bullshit excuse too many and finally lost my shit!! There is always time to work out! Always time to exercise! There is never an excuse not to, so quit your bitching and stop giving me excuses! TheGymRant.com

Are you a complainer or do you spend time around people who bitch a lot? If so, you'll want to listen to this episode to learn why this is damaging to your life and happiness, and ways to stop doing it or disengaging from those people in your life. Episode highlights: How complaining can undermine your mood, success and motivation You have to first catch yourself complaining to break the habit Focus ONLY on what you have control over in your life Why it's USELESS to complain about other people Focus 99% on YOUR life and most important values If you're going to complain, then offer a better alternative The ONLY things you have control over are what you THINK and what you DO Don't Miss a Thing Get every episode automatically! Share the Value If you're enjoying the show, please rate it on iTunes and write a brief review. That would help a lot to spread the word and get more listeners to the podcast. Ask Questions or Provide Feedback To ask questions, request episode topics or provide feedback, email me at DrOrma@DrOrma.com Connect With Me [fb_button]   Follow @drsteveorma Additional Resources Therapy and coaching with me.

Stop complaining. Work more. Stop Dwelling. Work More. Stop Bitching. WORK MORE!

Stop complaining. Work more. Stop Dwelling. Work More. Stop Bitching. WORK MORE!

Dan is back in the studio with a Rant and some timely tips for Sales Execs looking to generate more demand and to more effectively prospect. Social selling is undeniably the most effective way to increase demand and bolster your Pipeline: 76% of Buyers are open to engaging with providers on social channels; 62% of Buyers actually want to connect with sales execs on social; and a whopping 92% of buyers want to connect with thought leaders on social!! So how do we take advantage of this? How do we do it the correct way? Dan outlines the 6 key steps for social selling success. Listen UP

Witnessing people complain every single day is one of the most UNATTRACTIVE things you can ever experience because it takes away SO MUCH energy. Like complaining is the most obvious tell of a NON-WINNING person. Everything that happens in your LIFE is on YOU! You are where you are because of your decisions. If you’re gonna complain, don’t forget to look in the mirror and blame yourself before ever pointing your finger at someone else! If you WANT TO complain then DON’T find a way to solve your problems. But if you want to be great and establish a strong presence amongst your peers STOP BITCHING and find a way to make it happen! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

What do we do under ineffective leadership?  It’s a very common problem… You really only have two choices: You can leave the situation & find a new job…or you can stay and try to make it work. You have to get into the right mindset… It’s not your job to “fix” the ineffective leader Your obligation is to “add value” to the ... Read More

Some drivers bitch about every thing from new drivers, to running areas to Eloggs to Dispatch and so on and so on. Real truckers run and get the job done. Lets bring back the brotherhood trucking and be a team or a family. Truckers should help each other instead of getting out the cell phone and filming each others screw ups!

Ben talks Trump vs. Cruz, Hillary vs. Bernie, and why the only good comic book origin stories are Superman and Batman. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ben talks Trump vs. Cruz, Hillary vs. Bernie, and why the only good comic book origin stories are Superman and Batman. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I thought I had a fair amount of initials after my name, but here’s Matt Shobert MA, EFO, CFO, MIFireE. Matt had been the Fire Chief for the Murrieta Fire Department (MFD) since March 2011, and has served as Fire Chief for two other jurisdictions prior to joining the MFD team. He holds a Master’s Degree in Organizational Management, a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Management and an Associate’s Degree in Fire Science. He is also a 2007 graduate of the National Fire Academy’s Executive Fire Officer (EFO) Program, has been four times accredited as a Chief Fire Officer Designee (CFOD) and was recently conferred Membership into the Institution of Fire Engineers (MIFireE). Chief Shobert completed the arduous 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride and 26.2 mile run - "140.6" Ironman Arizona in Tempe on 11/17/13. On top of that, he’s had a happy double-decade long marriage. He was living an exemplary life.Matt’s Life-Changing EventBut everything changed on July 2, 2014. On that day, Chief Shobert was on a seemingly routine outing. He went out to a field to observe a brush clearing. Murrieta California is a hot, inland town and as any people are aware, brush fire prevention is a high priority in areas like this, especially in Southern California. The Chief was out by himself when the accident occurred. When you hear what happened to Chief Shobert, you can’t help but truly respect and appreciate his innate instincts to get himself help and his utter resiliency. The Chief shares the details of his accident for the first time publicly with me on the podcast. Please listen to hear Matt tell his story in his own words.RecoveryMatt went through several surgeries and still may be tasked with undergoing a few more. As you heard in the episode (if you didn’t listen yet, click here to do so), Matt is put together physically, but his emotional wounds are healing more slowly. The struggle is real. Matt is dealing with effects of both Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Traumatic Brain Injury. He has done extensive emotional therapy under the care of a Licensed Behavioral Health Clinician since the accident.He has gone through avoiding the area of the accident (which he was hard-pressed to do when he still lived in Murietta), nightmares, anxiety/panic attacks, angry outbursts, suicidal thoughts, slow thought processes and general lack of interest in leaving his home at times or going to places where there may be crowds of people. Though his emotional struggles are daunting, he is getting better each day. He has incorporated exercise, continues his talk therapy, calls on emotional support from his wife and others and credits his dog, Butters, for giving him some added support and love, as well as forcing him to get out of his home and walk him as a major part of his recovery.Matt has recently begin to train to become an Ironman athletic trainer – to keep him fit and to get back into the athletic world he misses. He’s looking forward to training others to accomplish their triathlon goals. He also is focusing his life towards telling his story as he did on this episode. He wants to help others understand the reality of what it’s like to live with post traumatic stress, and also to allow those in the fire service who are dealing with it feel less stigmatized and to ask for help when they need it. Matt is dedicating his life to giving back and helping others. A true example of personal resilience and resolve and restoration of hope for his new future.Post Traumatic Stress DisorderFor more information on PTSD, please see our separate post on the subject here.Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS) of the National Institute of Health (NIH), Traumatic Brain Injury is described as follows:"Traumatic brain injury (TBI), a form of acquired brain injury, occurs when a sudden trauma causes damage to the brain. TBI can result when the head suddenly and violently hits an object, or when an object pierces the skull and enters brain tissue. Symptoms of a TBI can be mild, moderate, or severe, depending on the extent of the damage to the brain. A person with a mild TBI may remain conscious or may experience a loss of consciousness for a few seconds or minutes. Other symptoms of mild TBI include headache, confusion, lightheadedness, dizziness, blurred vision or tired eyes, ringing in the ears, bad taste in the mouth, fatigue or lethargy, a change in sleep patterns, behavioral or mood changes, and trouble with memory, concentration, attention, or thinking. A person with a moderate or severe TBI may show these same symptoms, but may also have a headache that gets worse or does not go away, repeated vomiting or nausea, convulsions or seizures, an inability to awaken from sleep, dilation of one or both pupils of the eyes, slurred speech, weakness or numbness in the extremities, loss of coordination, and increased confusion, restlessness, or agitation."ContactLinked-in: matt-shobert-ma-efo-cfo-mifiree-ironmanemail:         mjshobert@gmail.comResourcesFire Fighters Behavioral Health Alliance:  FFBHANorth American Fire Fighter Veteran Network: NAFFVNFire Fighters Wellness Initiative: IAFF WFIPost Traumatic Stress Disorder via National Institute of Mental Health: PTSD/NIMH (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/)For local support in your community, check out the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill's page on PTSD Resources: NAMI/PTSDThe National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke website offers a wealth of information on TBI, prognosis, treatment and resources if you or someone you care for is in need of help regarding their TBI (http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/tbi/tbi.htm)National Resource Center for Traumatic Brain Injury : tbinrc.comIf you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a gret review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast  The Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!

Are you just a keystroke King or Queen? Just complaining for the sake of complaining? Or are you in an organization or have formulated some solutions that you want to share...STOP BITCHING and DO SOMETHING....because complaining without offering ANY solutions....is just WHINING...CALL UP 347-855-8692(press 1 to get on air) AND JOIN OUR CONVERSATION

~  Do discussions about money bring discord into your relationship ? If the answer is yes, you are not alone.  In this interview, certified financial planner Jeff Motske provides helpful tips to resolve this problem, as covered in his book - 'The Couples Guide to Financial Compatibility'. The solutions he provides will help you plan for the future, build a solid foundation for your financial house, proactively discuss finances with your partner and deal with boomerangs.This year alone we’ve witnessed several companies, including Radio Shack close up its doors for good. Other major chains like Sears, Abercrombie & Fitch, Barnes & Noble, Anna’s Linens and Aerospostale have confirmed that they will be closing many if not all of their stores due to diminished sales and/or bankruptcy. These stories, although they may not affect us personally, can affect the level of stress we carry about our own financial situation. Its societal data points like this that remind us that financial success can be tough to achieve and can be fleeting.Today’s episode focuses on how to help couples talk about money. My guest is Jeff Motske. He is the CEO of Trilogy Financial Services; host of the show “Declare Your Financial Independence” on 1110AM KFAX San Francisco, and the author of “The Couples Guide to Financial Compatibility”. Jeff talks with us about building a financial legacy; how to talk you’re your spouse about a family budget and how to talk with your adult kids about financial responsibility when they move back home. He’s also going to tell us all about his “War of the Wallets” quiz that you can take online with your spouse.When Trilogy was in its infancy, Jeff started out meeting his client’s needs based on where they were in life and what their financial goals were. He took a small town approach when his competitors were sticking with Wall Street strategies. This approached has grown Trilogy into a nationwide company whose client’s investments surpass $2 billion dollars. Jeff provided us with a lot of insight and some great tips on helping couples talk about their finances and plan for life events.We all feel the stress of money at times. Back in my single days, I used to imagine it would be easier to handle money stress when the day came that I would partner up and get married, as I imagine most people think. The problem is, it doesn’t actually get easier. In fact, depending on your situation, either a 2 -income or 1 - income household, it can pose new complications you didn’t have when single (i.e. power struggles over spending, deciding on how to budget, and setting financial limits). In fact, money can be one of the most complicated, or stress-inducing, subjects for couples to talk about. If you search online, you’ll find article after article about how money is the hottest point of contention between couples – I found numbers between 35-57% of couples complaining that money is their number 1 problem. Whether they argue or not, Couples face a lot of stresses in life in life: work, family, kids, who’s going to do the grocery shopping, who’s going to do the dishes. However, when different financial philosophies or struggles enter the picture, it can absolutely get them stuck. Money affects all of us differently. Our parents’ philosophy around money often dictates our own.One person may be a spender; the other may be a saver. Sometimes they have similar philosophies both are spenders or savers. Other times, they walk blindly through their life believing their partner is handling the finances. Turning a blind eye to your financial situation and always letting your partner handle it can really get you into trouble. In a partnership, even if one person is the designated “bill payer”, its important to at least be apprised of your current situation on at least a monthly basis. In my private practice, I’ve come across couples who have literally avoided talking about their financial picture for years. Once a couple gets locked in this avoidant pattern, it can be hard to break, but it can be done.A lot of what Jeff emphasizes for the couples to keep them healthy financially is similar to the work us marriage therapists do at times with our clients. One of the key components to a happy relationship is effective communication and you need that to do any of the things Jeff talked about. I think the financial date night is a great idea. When couples plan to set aside time to talk about finances (or any other stressful matter), it can relieve the stress of “how do I” or “when do I” bring up my questions or concerns to my partner. Just to make it easier to stay focused, couples can bring notes with them for these discussions. Holding the meeting under the guise of a “date” sets the tone that this is about connection and having the meeting outside of the home reduces the chances of the couple getting emotionally triggered and arguing over a difficult item. I would caution you that couples that have been avoidant of talking about their finances have probably been avoidant about other topics as well. Getting back into talking about these uncomfortable topics can add stress to an already stressful situation. Keep in mind that the financial date night, should be looked at as a time for collaborative problem solving and a time to express concerns effectively. If couples that have been avoidant in the past find that they’re still having trouble addressing the issue or don’t know how to go about talking about it, I’d recommend that they seek out a few sessions with a licensed marriage and family therapist. Most marriage therapists are interested in helping couples effectively communicate and develop the skills to talk with each other safely & authentically without needing the therapist. Deciding to go to couples counseling can be intimidating but it’s really not uncommon for couples to reach out when they are about to embark on trying new behaviors or ways of communicating to ask for help with that.Whatever your financial situation is, Jeff Motske's book, "The Couples Guide to Financial Compatibility" can be a healthy starting point for exploring your financial philosophies as a couple and gaining some guidance on ways to discuss the financial planning of some of life's milestones.Resources:JeffMotske.com You can find Jeff's book "The Couples Guide to Financial Compatibility" as well as his "War of the Wallets" quiz and links to Trilogy Financial Services hereReal Hope/Free communication tips providing some free helpful tips online for increasing healthy couple communication.Harville Hendrix Intentional Dialogue Exercise Harville Hendrix is a master of couple relationship dynamics. He is the founder of IMAGO Therapy. His Intentional Dialogue exercise is a communication strategy designed to help you work through issues or disagreements that may be holding you back from a more intimate and fulfilling relationship with your partner.Love Pong Love Pong is an interactive online game designed to help couples improve their communication and express their emotions more effectively.Money issues are still really stressing out Americans - / cnn.com *****************************************************************If you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a great review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening! 

Life can throw a lot of hardships in our paths, which it seems only the mentally strong can withstand... Following tragic losses in her life, Amy Morin LCSW wrote a list to remind herself how to keep going. Shared on lifehack.org, the list went viral, then flooded Forbes. Like a beacon in the night, Amy's worldwide best-selling book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, gives us all simple lessons in resiliency in a world where adversity can leave us feeling isolated..  Amy’s life was going along pretty well.  But, when she was 22, her mother died suddenly of a brain aneurysm.  Her mother  was only in her early 50’s.  Most people aren’t ready to lost their parents even if they pass away much older, but no one expects their parents to die that young. That’s just not supposed to happen! Amy was healing from that though.  She was young in her career as a clinical social worker, was married and starting her life with her husband.  But then, on the 3rd anniversary of her mother's death, her 26 year old husband died of a heart attack.  What?!? As Amy put the pieces of her life together.  She found a way to honor her young husband’s memory.  Every year on his birthday, she would get together with his family and  participate in life-affirming experiences.  Sometimes they  were adventurous trips, other times, they were more subdued, but they always made it fun and didn’t wallow in his loss.  They found a way to see through the pain of the loss to celebrate life: his and theirs.Then, a few years later, Amy found love again and got remarried.  She and her new husband were enjoying the early days of this marriage and looking forward to their life together.  But then, tragedy struck yet again.  This time, her new father-in-law was diagnosed with untreatable cancer. She was then faced with the anticipation of the loss of someone else she was close to – as well as the anticipation of having to help her new husband cope with the loss of his parent.  The pain she, of course, knew all too well.  This is when Amy decided she was really going to have to pull from all the mental strength she could find.Amy initially wrote the original list of “13 Things…” for herself.  She speaks of doing it as a reminder to herself of how to successfully cope.  She was working as a therapist and was good at helping others find their mental strength, but she discovered that focusing on what to do worked for a while, but she found “not so healthy” habits creeping in to sabotage her. The list helped her understand that she would/could survive these losses. Then, she realized others might benefit from the list and this is when the list took on a life of its’ own.  She posted the article on Lifehack.org (you can read it here ).  The list went viral within a few hours.  The traffic generated from the article shut the page down!   It was then re-posted on several other sites, including Forbes.com where it set a record at over 10 million views!  To this day, it is still one of their most viral posts.It was after all this web attention, that Amy was approached by Harper Collins publishing house and asked to turn the list into a book.  So, that’s exactly what she did.  The book went on to become a bestseller.  I think many people related to her story of strength and perseverance and found her advice practical and actionable.Here is the list of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves,They don’t give away their power,They don’t shy away from change,They don’t waste energy on things they can't control,They don’t worry about pleasing everyone,They don’t fear taking calculated risks,They don’t dwell on the past,They don’t make the same mistakes over and over,They don’t resent other people’s success,They don’t give up after the first failure,They don’t fear time alone,They don’t feel the world owes them anything,  andThey don’t expect immediate results.Amy talks of our mental capabilities as a muscle that can be exercised and strengthened.  I also subscribe to this thinking.  One of my favorite things to work on with my clients is helping them build their mental strengths, or resiliency traits.  We are all born with part of our personality predetermined by our genetics.  How the other part of our personality developed is thought to be determined by how we are nurtured.  As we are growing up, we receive certain messages about how we should or shouldn’t deal with stress, upset, disappointment, as well as love, happiness and all the rest of our emotions.  Those messages are internalized and stored as fact, even if they are not in our best interest.  For instance, I learned as a child that when I am stressed out I should eat to make myself feel better, which led to a struggle with weight as an adult due to my engagement int his self-soothing behavior.  I've had to learn to fight against what fact that although not true, nor in my best interest.Amy Morin’s “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” takes a refreshing spin on how to overcome struggle and, in her case, multiple losses.  Amy’s list resonates with many of us I believe because collectively we have been focusing on what “to do” or what we “should do”.  When we don’t “do” what we are “supposed to do to be healthy”, we end up feeling like a failure. However, Amy’s list focuses on “what not to do”.  Such a different way of thinking! I say this because when we  twist up, say, #11. “They don’t fear time alone” into the “You should do this” type of list, it becomes “They are comfortable being alone”.  Somehow not fearing something feels much different than “you should be comfortable” with something.   That way of thinking can set many people up for failure.   I believe if we re-wrote the list  from the “what to do” perspective, it would start to sound like “Mentally strong people just do more then you when you are tired of trying”.  Not very empowering.Strengthening those emotional muscles to help you become stranger and more resilient takes active work.  I’ll leave you with this.   The work can be tough, but if your perspective is accepting and forgiving of yourself, reminding yourself of what not to do can feel achievable.Resources13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do Amazon.comAmy Morin's website5 Powerful Exercises to Increase your Mental Strength Amy Morin7 Ways Mentally Strong People Handle Stress More Effectively Amy Morin ***************************************************************************If you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a great review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening! 

There are many organizations coming up with new approaches to treating PTSD as we speak.  For this episode, I had the opportunity to interview Andrew Chang, one of 4 managing partners of the Eastern Foundry, a veteran-owned technology and innovation incubator. In their own words:  “Eastern Foundry is a first-of-its-kind marketplace where technologists, government contractors and agencies convene to exchange information and opportunities, find teaming partners and conduct business.”If you start to follow along with the podcast, you may start to guess that I have very strong feelings about our country being ill-prepared for treating the emotional stress and post trauma emotional upheaval many of our troops face through the duties of their service. I think military PTSD will be the mental health field’s biggest problem for the next 20 years or longer. I know I am not the only one that feels this way. The Foundry Cup CompetitionProviding all of the resources of a modern technology incubator, Eastern Foundry offers physical workspace, services, trainings and information that are tailored to help large and small businesses achieve government contracting success”. I interviewed Andrew to introduce you to the Foundry Cup competition. This competition is designed to identify solutions to serve our veteran communities. The current competition is their inaugural event, setting off what is going to be a bi-annual forum for not only competition, but also for collaboration among innovators in their fields. The current competition brought together 14 innovation teams to pitch their solutions for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The teams present their ideas and technology to a panel of judges much like in the widely- watched Shark Tank television show.This initial competition was geared towards innovations in PTSD, but each competition will have it’s own theme. I interviewed Andrew about a week before the winner was announced. I could tell how excited he and his team were at the turnout of innovations and that they were going to get to foster at least one of these new technologies to give them a more solid starting ground. The participants were selected prior to the actual 3- day competition. The participants ranged from a team developing smart phone technology helping veterans bypass the VA waiting lists to access clinicians remotely, to a company who focuses on social media postings for detection of PTSD, to previous Coaching Through Chaos Podcast Guest, the Virtual Reality Medical Center and their work helping treat combat trauma with virtual reality technology.The winners were selected based on the following criteria:Likelihood that the idea will yield positive outcomes,How innovative the idea is,State of development (e.g. is it at the idea, prototype/pilot, roll-out, or expansion phase),Opportunities for collaboration during the program,Ability to travel to offices in Crystal City, Virginia to attend workshops and events.On June 20th the winner and runners’ up were announced.And the winner is…The D.C.-based startup Qntfy was awarded the first place cash prize of $10,000.They utilize social media data to detect PTSD,  The developers were driven to help immediate friends and family suffering from PTSD. The Qntfy team have created an algorithm that analyzes individuals’ social media posting frequency and content to look for indicators of their mental health statuses – data that can help clinicians prioritize care. In addition to the cash prize, Qntfy will also receive office space to develop their tech and utilize the resources of the Eastern Foundry, exposure to possibly funding avenues, education and training. You can find out more about Qntfy here.The runner-up was San Antonia-based mobile IT company, Sound-Off. They received $5,000 as their prize. Sound-Off enables veterans to connect with and receive anonymous ongoing care from volunteer counselors and veterans, all from the touch of their smart phones.The “People’s Choice” winner was Arlington-based military lifestyle application, Sandboxx, which enables military service members and veterans to connect with family members, friends and military units as well as send snail mail through the app’s Mailboxx feature.I had the opportunity to correspond with Glen Coppersmith, Ph.D.  He is the founder and CEO of Qntfy (pronounced “quantify”), a small company working to scale clinical impact and empower mental health professionals via technology.  For the Foundry Cup, Glen and his team detailed some of their work that provides quantifiable, or measurable, information about mental health from data not traditionally examined by the medical domain – things like social media, movement and workout data. Their algorithms, based on peer-reviewed research, can extract thousands of bits of information, which on their own each weakly correlated with mental health. However, he points out that when taken together, like a braided rope, these weak signals provide a strong picture of a person’s mental health. This data can help clinicians prioritize care.  They are going to be able to provide such rich data points for clinicians in order to better attend to their clients' needs.  Great Innovation Qntfy!The prize from the Foundry Cup was $10,000, but Glen said the biggest benefit came from coming together with other incredible, diverse, and passionate teams similarly motivated to make a dent in the treatment of PTSD. The Eastern Foundry also is providing them with free office-space, next to some of their fellow Foundry Cup Finalists. Glen feels the importance of this collaboration forum can't be overstated.  He said the "Eastern Foundry has effectively brought together some people that otherwise wouldn’t have met, and provided material support towards ongoing collaboration, in an area in which they all want to see progress made".How to Get Involved in the Foundry Cup CompetitionIf you are interested in participating in the next Foundry Cup Competition, please check out their website FoundryCup.com. They will be announcing the next competition very soon, you’ll want to check it out right away to get the details and deadlines. If you go for it- -Good Luck!Some information on Veterans and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder(These statistics are taken from several websites – all are featured in the resource section of this article).1 in 5 veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars are diagnosed with ptsd.It is estimated that 30% of Vietnam vets have PTSD (all these years later, this is considered “chronic” in nature.More than 40 percent of Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans responding to a recent survey said they did not seek mental health care because of a perceived negative impact on their careers. (Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, Member Survey 2012).Health Care for Veterans with PTSD costs s 3.5 times more than for one without ptsd. ((facethefactsusa.org) - 22 service members per day are committing suicide.In the general population, it is estimated that 7 or 8 people out of 100 develop ptsd at some point in their life. In contrast, when looking at our current troops serving in Operation enduring Freedom or Operation Iraqui Freedom, it is estimated that they will develop PTSD at a rate of 11-20 out of 100.For troops suffering from combat trauma, 2 out of 3 of their marriages are failing. That’s over 200,000 military divorces.1/3 of our nation’s homeless are veterans. This needs to change! We have a responsibility to them! They served for us and we, as a nation, need to be prepared to help them.Where Does This Leave Us?In a country with 21.8 million veterans and 1.3 million active service members we need to understand how they are doing and what they are exposed to.  We also need to be mindful of how the anxiety from the anticipation of what they could be exposed to impacts them. I am hoping through continuing to expose the need for services in this arena and highlighting concerning facts about Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, we can get others to take notice and do something to help get our mental health professionals up to speed on, or involved in innovation and research in the arena of treatment modalities for this terrible epidemic that has been plaguing our nation’s veterans for decades. In the meantime, I’ll keep doing the work I do and will continue to highlight resources in this area of need.Resourceseastern-foundry.comwww.veteransandptsd.com/PTSD-statistics.htmlwww.foundrycup.com/www.facethefactsusa.org/facts/the-true-price-of-war-in-human-termswww.ptsd.va.gov/PTSD/public/PTSD-overview/basics/how-common-is-ptsd.aspptsdusa.org/what-is-ptsd/the-statistics/www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/PTSD-overview/ptsd-overview.aspwww.mental-health-today.com/ptsd/dsm.htmDisclaimer: The content of this article is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not meant to be, nor does it constitute mental health advice. If you are experiencing symptoms or situations contained in this article, please seek out a consult from a licensed mental health provider in your community who specializes in treating Post traumatic Stress Disorder.*********************************************************************If you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a great review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening! 

The topic is codependency: what it is and what it is NOT; the difference between normal and codependent behaviors and what a person can do to help themselves.Do you know someone who hasa need to be perfect,low self-esteem,poor boundaries with others,a need to control their environment, andchronic dissatisfaction in relationships ?If those descriptions ring a bell, you probably know someone who may be considered 'codependent'. If you’re into self-help at all, you probably have heard the term codependency- it’s often talked about it in terms of one having a codependent personality.  I want to be clear that codependency is NOT a diagnosable condition, although it is talked about in those terms. You may also have been familiar with it, but have been unsure of a clear definition of it. That’s because there is not 1 universal definition of it. There is however, consensus that it is a cluster of behaviors in relationships which can be somewhat easily identified and very often problematic.The history of the term dates back to the 1940s and early 1950s. Primarily it was identified in studying the behavior of an alcoholic within the context of their family experience. The behaviors identified as codependent appeared to be a pattern in these families. The use of the term seemed to explode though a few decades later. In the 1980s with the advent of a focus of family system dynamics, several books came out designed to help people break those dysfunctional behavior patterns. The most famous book that still is referenced today on the subject is Melody Beattie's "Codependent No More". During that time, everyone started studying the families of alcoholics and saw these behaviors but as the clusters of behaviors became more recognizable, so did the fact that so many other people exhibited the same behavior patters who did not come from alcoholic families. The term is now popularly used to generally describe a cluster of behaviors in relationships.Codependency DecodedThis article accompanies Episode 4 of The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast and focuses on behavior in relationships that have come to be identified as “codependent behavior”. We will explore the behavioral patterns that are identified as codependent, suspected causes of these behavioral patterns, some things a person can do to change their codependent behavior and some additional resources so you can learn more about the subject.Darlene Lancer,JD, LMFT of Whatiscodependency.com and darlenelancer.comMy expert guest is Darlene Lancer, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Santa Monica, Ca. She has dedicated her career as a therapist to helping people work through and overcome their struggles with codependent behavior. She has several books published on the subject including “Shame and Codependency” and “Codependency for Dummies”.What is Codependency?Codependency is a term that came into popular psychology culture in the 1980’s, although it’s been around since the 1940s. With the advent of family systems psychology coming into its own in the 1970’s, the studies of family dynamics appears to have been a factor in the movement towards identifying codependent behavioral interactions in the 1980’s. For as much as it is widely used in popular psychological vernacular, it does not have a universal definition, but rather it is used to describe a common set of behavioral patterns. In the 1950’s, codependency was viewed as learned behavior in families of alcoholics or addicts. It was first used to describe the personality traits of people who were typically in relationships with alcoholics – this could be intimate relationships or in families with alcoholics.What researchers and therapists have discovered since then is that, although there is certainly a pattern of behaviors associated with those addict/alcoholic families, they are not all that different than some of the behaviors of families with other sorts of emotional struggles (we will discuss further in what causes codependency).  When it was first introduced, the term codependency was used as a shortcut to describe the codependent person’s need for approval from others and the self-sacrificing nature of their own emotional needs. When we (therapists) work with persons who are  codependent, the self-sacrificing and approval seeking are common themes.When you read on and see the list of behaviors associated with codependency you will recognize that these behaviors are prevalent in the general population and are not necessarily reserved for those in addict/alcoholic families.    The term is now universally accepted as a description of a cluster of behaviors that dictate how a person acts in a a relationship.What Codependency is NOTCodependency, although discussed in terms of “symptoms” and a “condition” for which “treatment” can be provided is NOT actually a diagnosable psychiatric disorder such as anxiety or depression.  There were attempts at having it entered in the Diagnostic & Statistical Manual (the diagnostic text of the mental health profession), but it was not accepted as a clinical disorder. The cluster of behaviors is, however, considered to be emotionally stifling and resentment-breeding for both the person who is codependent and the person they love. The good news then, is that since it is not a “personality disorder”, which by definition is an ingrained and unchangeable part of us since it’s part of our personality, if you recognize yourself as orienting yourself in codependent ways, you can make changes to engage in ways which are more fulfilling and satisfying for you.Are you Codependent?This article is not meant for you to find a reason to label yourself or anyone else, but it can be helpful to explore the behaviors that are considered, when clustered together, to represent what we know as a ‘codependent’ person. Most people can relate to some of these behaviors some of the time. If one is to consider themselves as orienting themselves in a codependent way, they should recognize their interactions as a prolonged, pervasive pattern of these behaviors which have left the person feeling unsatisfied and resentful in their relationships.Some of the key characteristics of a codependent person are:Low Self-Esteem: We’ve all heard the term. It’s when someone just doesn’t think too much of themselves. They usually don’t think they deserve as good as everyone else. This trait on its own can lead people to make poor judgment calls in their relationships – typically they pick people who can’t or won’t fully love them. They might engage in relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable (i.e. married or otherwise involved with someone else, addicted to drugs or alcohol, or a workaholic). They have a tendency to stick with an unsatisfying relationship long past recognizing that it is such.Poor Boundaries with others: This can present itself in different ways. Most typically it’s a person who is over-involved in others’ lives. Often, this is an unwelcome over-involvement, as with the case of the spouse of an addict. Because they may not trust their addicted partner (due to the addict behaviors) they have a tendency to “need to know everything”. They will also share with everyone. The “town gossip” has poor boundaries. That person is easier to see because we usually have a visceral reaction when someone tells us something we shouldn’t know about someone else. As a couple’s therapist I hear stories all the time of over-involved in-laws or siblings. It’s the person who has something to say about everyone’s relationship. Poor boundaries also cross-over with people pleasing traits.  A person with poor boundaries will also take on everyone else’s problems, volunteer to help when they have their own needs to tend to that go over-looked, and generally have a difficult time saying “no” to others. Their motivation is NOT malicious. It falls in line with the people pleasing motivation – that they are afraid if they say “no” to someone, they won’t be liked or loved anymore.  It’s usually easy to teach a person to set healthier boundaries in relationships once this gets identified.People Pleasing: One of the behaviors that breeds the most resentment in a codependent relationship is that the codependent person has a pervasive desire to be liked by everyone. The codependent person will set aside their needs for everyone else’s. They do it under the guise of “being nice” or “being a good person”, but they end up resenting the people they are trying to please when they feel they are not getting the same self-sacrificing behavior in return. The previously-mentioned low self esteem drives them to give much more in a relationship that they ever expect, received or think they deserve. They often give much more of themselves even at the beginning of new relationships. When you see someone taking on their new partner’s problems right at the beginning of the relationship (i.e. lending money, letting them move in right away, getting involved in their family problems, etc.) you are most likely witnessing a codependent person in action.Care taking: The codependent person has a need to care take for others that far exceeds any sense of expected behavior. They are naturally nurturing, but the often “care too much”. This can be exhibited in behavior that appears to be over-doing for others. While everyone likes have a friend or a partner that is nurturing, the level the codependent person takes it to is suggestive of controlling through their care taking.  The motivation for this appears to be two-fold: 1. their partner can’t let them down by not attending to their needs and 2. They have control of that environment (keep reading to see more about the need for control).Reactive: The codependent person typically feels their emotions deeply and are often overly sensitive and can perceive themselves as being criticized by others, particularly their partner, which leads to reactions that appear out of sync with the situation.Controlling: As mentioned in the people pleasing section, the codependent person has a need to control their environment and their relationship. This appears to be out of a need for safety- if they control their environment, they convince themselves that they can trust it. We know that is not an accurate perception as when dealing with 2 people in a relationship we can never fully control what the   other person thinks, feels, or does. The codependent person convinces themselves into a false sense of security which allows them to move forward in relationships that often have stresses, or “red flags” that go unnoticed or denied.Dependent: The codependent person is not necessarily dependent on their partner for financial or other stability factors, but rather, they are dependent on the relationship usually out of a fear of being alone. They attach strongly to their partners and become helpless to express their own emotional needs out of a fear of abandonment.Engages in Denial: This is usually pretty easy to see as an outsider looking in on a relationship between a codependent and their partner. As the concept of “red flags” was introduced earlier, they are often ignored or otherwise overlooked by a codependent person in order for them to maintain congruence between what they believe their relationship to be and what it actually is. This is a tough factor and this is usually very strong when the codependent has become involved with someone with addiction issues. They can often overlook the substance abuse problem for a long time. It is not unusual for a codependent person to engage in making excuses for their partner’s behavior, for instance, “Oh she wasn’t drunk – he was on migraine medicine from her doctor”.What if you have these traits?In exploring this list, I should note that codependency should be viewed through a contextual and cultural lens.There are definitely cultures I can think of in which the matriarchs over-function and care-take for the family, they get in everyone’s business (poor boundaries), they live to please their family and they are seemingly so dependent on their family it appears they would not be able to survive without them. In some cultures, we call that person “Grandma”. So please remember, this is meant to inform you, rather than diagnose or label anyone.After viewing these behaviors within your contextual environment, if you recognize them in yourself, there are ways to modify your behavior so that you don’t feel driven to meet other people’s needs before your own leading you to feel more fulfilled in your relationships.What causes codependent behavior?In addition to the focus on the codependent behavior being born out of families in which addiction was present, there are theories around the origins of codependent behavior developing in families in which the codependent person was raised by a narcissistic parent. We know that although they may love their children,  when sick with the disease of addiction, addicted parents are emotionally unavailable to them.  With narcissists the crux of the disorder is they do not notice, or care about, other people’s needs or how their behavior affects others (APA, 2012). Consequently, a narcissistic parent would not be mindful of their child’s emotional needs. Darlene Lancer theorizes that codependency is born out of dysfunction and pain in the family of origin. This certainly can be the emotional make-up of a person raised by either a narcissist or an addict.This lack of emotional engagement by the parents can lead a child to “over-function”, making excuses for the emotional unavailability of the parent (“I’m sure mommy loves me in her own way”) and controlling their environment out of a need for safety.A child being raised by an emotionally unavailable parent does not typically learn appropriate reactions to stress or other uncomfortable emotions.  Such children can certainly develop into emotionally reactive adults out of those circumstances. This leads to them over reacting, or conversely under reacting and good at exhibiting the associated denial of problems.There’s been an explosion in recent years in the field of psychology focusing on emotional intelligence. This could be a counter-reaction to realizing that there are so many people that relate to some codependent behavior traits. It is important for our own wellness to be able to understand, feel and express our emotions accurately and effectively.  A movement towards more awareness in this area feels appropriate.Codependent behavior doesn’t happen only within the bubble of intimate relationships.Ms. Lancer points out that codependency speaks of how a person orients themselves in the world behaviorally and relationally. She reminds us that we are the same person, but may act differently in different relationships. Therefore if someone is codependent at home, they may exhibit some codependent behaviors in other areas of their life such as work and friendships.She also points out that we often think of codependent people as passive, but that may not always be the case. As already mentioned, one of the “symptoms” is that the person is controlling. Sometimes this is done in passive ways. Other times, they are very demanding of others.The codependent person still may not get their emotional needs met, but they believe they are cared for when their partner does what they command.What can one do to change their behaviors?In order to change behavior, one needs to first recognize that the behavior is problematic to themselves and their relationships. This can be tough to do. Many people seeking help for codependency usually present at a therapist’s office or a self-help group complaining of bad relationship choices.“Why do I keep picking the wrong guy/gal?”It is sometimes only after exploring the behavior the person describes in their relationships that the codependency is discovered. If you have related to what’s been presented in this article and podcast you are already becoming more self-aware.Darlene Lancer describes the behavior changes as “healing” from codependency.She divides the healing process into two sections: healing yourself and healing your relationships with others.Some steps involved in healing yourself are:Seek help and supportLearn to have patience with yourselfUnderstand where your codependent nature comes fromHeal old wounds, losses and traumasGet to know yourself betterBuild self-esteem and self-loveFind pleasureSome steps involved in healing your relationships with others are:Take responsibility for yourselfAccept the reality of your situationDecrease your own reactivityLearn to communicate effectivelySet boundaries with othersConflict managementLearning to make changes in your relationship with families and friends around how you relate to them“Codependency for Dummies” is replete with chapters on how to accomplish all these changes through exercises, self-assessments and instructions.Resources for educating yourself, making and maintaining changesMaking and maintaining behavioral changes can be difficult. For those that have taken steps to make the changes and are still having difficulty, seeking out a therapist who specializes in codependency can help. In addition to 1:1 therapy, peer run self-help groups also exist. Darlene Lancer, LMFT’s writings on codependency, along with her contact information and books can be found at whatiscodependency.com.Codependency for Dummies can be found on amazon.comCodependency for Dummies by Darlene Lancer LMFT (2013).This book is a start-to-finish guide on identifying, understanding and healing from codependent behaviors.Codependents Anonymous (CODA) – This is a fellowship of men and women whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships.This is a nationwide 12-step program. In addition to the groups, their website is full of valuable and helpful information.Codependent no More by Melody Beattie (1986)This book has been the long-touted handbook of identifying and recognizing codependency. Ms. Beattie was a pioneer in the field of codependent literature.The Human Magnet Syndrome  Ross Rosenberg, M. Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT.  He is another expert in the field of codependency.  There are links to books, articles and more on the subject of codependency.PsychCentral.com article by Darlene Lancer focuses on how to help a codependent person get over a break up.**************************************************If you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a great review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!  

Dr. Colleen Mullen speaks with retired Detective Mike Proctor, author of ‘Antidote for a Stalker‘.In this fascinating interview, you will find out about the mindset of stalkers and how to protect yourself from them. You will also hear about the evolution of the anti-stalking laws in the United States and the protection they now afford all of us. The Law is there to protect you, and Mike Proctor’s book will show you how to deal with a stalker."Stalking is a growing concern throughout the world, not just in North America. More and more countries like the United Kingdom, Australia, and Japan are experiencing an upsurge of stalking throughout their communities. College campuses have become a breeding ground for the stalker. Workplace violence oftentimes revolves around a stalking scenario that has either evolved within the confines of the workplace, or enters into the workplace from a stalking that was initiated away from that workplace.Awareness, stricter laws, and a more focused multi-disciplinary law enforcement approach are the keys to defeating this dangerous problem. "- DetectiveMikeProctor.comWe all have heard stories of someone who was stalked. There are of course, the stories of celebrity stalkers – their stalkers are primarily unknown to their target. Then there are the stories of the friend who had an ex that just wouldn’t leave them alone. There’s definitely a difference between someone who is just having trouble accepting a break up and someone who is being stalked. As you’ll hear in the podcast episode that accompanies this article, I have a personal story of being stalked by someone unknown to me. In this article, I’ll present you with some relevant facts and figures on the history and prevalence of stalking, how to find out what the laws are in your state, some of the types and psychological profiles of stalkers and some ways to protect yourself and get help if you are the target of a stalker.A brief history of stalking legislationtalking has been around as long as people have been having relationships, but the laws protecting those targeted have only been around since the early 1990’s. According to the National Institute of Justice, stalking is defined as “a course of conduct directed at a specific person that involves repeated (two or more occasions) visual or physical proximity, non-consensual communication, or verbal, written, or implied threats, or a combination thereof, that would cause a reasonable person fear”.California was the first state to enact stalking legislation. In 1990, California Legislators developed Penal Code 646.9 as a result of a series of murders that took place in situations of domestic violence in which restraining orders were already on the books. The law was enacted to provide target persons with more legal recourse when restraining orders were disobeyed.Right around that time, there were also 2 widely publicized celebrity stalking cases – one lead to the death of a young actress and the other left another actress the victim of a violent stabbing attack. The murdered actress was Rebecca Schaeffer – her stalker obtained her address from a private investigator. She was killed by her stalker in 1989.Prior to that, Theresa Saldana was pursued and violently stabbed in front of her home in 1982. Saldana subsequently became a stalking victim advocate. She founded an advocacy organization in the late 1980s, “Victims for Victims” and told her story through a TV movie. Her advocacy also led to the 1994 Driver’s Privacy Protection Act which was a result of her attack. This legislation prevents the disclosure of personal information by the DMV to persons other than as designated by the holder of the information. This sounds to be akin to what we currently hold as Protected Health Information in the healthcare industry.After California, the rest of the states followed suit.Whilst the guidelines may be similar, each state may have different provisions regarding status of a restraining order, age and electronic stalking criteria.You can find your the laws pertinent to your state at the National Center for Victims of Crime (NCVC).Also on the NCVC site is a wealth of information including resources if you are, or think you are, being stalked: how to get help and even a log sheet so that you can keep good records of the unwanted contact.All 50 states have stalking laws on the books.Some stalking facts according to the National Center for Victims of crime:7.5 Million people are stalked each year in the United States15% of women and 6% of men have experienced stalking in which they were fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed.61% of female victims and 44% of male victims are stalked by a current or former intimate partner.About half of the victims report their stalking happening before age 25.78% of stalkers use more than one means of approach (i.e. calling, texting, emailing, following).Weapons are used to harm or threaten victims in 1 out of 5 cases.Almost 1/3 of stalkers have stalked before.46% of stalking victims are fearful from not knowing what will happen next.20% of victims fear the stalking will never stop.1 in 7 victims move as a result of their victimization.The prevalence of anxiety, insomnia, social dysfunction, and severe depression is much higher among stalking victims than the general population, especially if the stalking involved being followed or having one’s property destroyed.76% of intimate partner female homicide (femicide) victims have been stalked by their intimate partner.67% were physically abused previously by the partner.89% of femicide victims who had been physically assaulted had also been stalked in the 12 months prior to their murder.54% of femicide victims reported stalking to police before they were killed by their stalkers.Less than 1/3 of states classify stalking as a felony upon first offense.More than ½ the states classify stalking as a felony upon second or subsequent offenses or when the crime involves “aggregating factors”The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast guest expert on this subject, Retired Detective Mike Proctor is one of the foremost experts on profiling and protecting oneself from stalkers. He spent over 30 years on the job as a law enforcement officer and was involved in one of the first documented stalking cases. He was a principal in developing a stalking protocol for law enforcement agencies and has spent his days profiling the mindset and behaviors of stalkers. Though an expert through all his on the job experience, he remains modest. He differentiates himself as a hands-on expert noting that he has participated in over a hundred stalking cases over the years, but has not clinically studied stalkers the way psychologists do at various research institutions. His books are written to help law enforcement, stalking victims and advocates to understand the mind of the stalker and to better protect themselves. Proctor’s most recent book is “Antidote for a Stalker” (2013). If you ever wanted to know anything and everything about stalkers, that book is the one to read. Type of Stalkers (Proctor, 2013)The Domestic Violence Stalker (DV): most prevalent group, starts in intimate relationship that is subjected to DVThe Acquaintance Stalker (AS): non-intimate knowledge of the stalker by the target – this can be someone they know well who may have been a friend, or it can be someone they met just once or twice.The Stranger Stalker (SS): considered the most frightening type because of the lack of knowledge of who they are which leads to a fear of what they are capable of doing. The podcast episode that accompanies this article tells the story of my experience with a Stranger Stalker.Proctor then details subsets of types of stalkers. These are meant to help understand the behavior a bit more closely by signaling additional patterns of behavior.Catherine Zeta-Jones  Catherine Zeta-Jones was the victim of Triangle Stalking. The stalker, a woman,  had a delusion that she was in a love relationship with Michael Douglas, the husband of Zeta-Jones. The stalker wanted to get Zeta-Jones out of the way so that she could be with him.  The Triangle Stalker (TS): This is an example of when there is a target person who is in the way of the stalker (i.e stalking the wife to get at the husband as in the cast of the stalking of Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas. Zeta-Jones was targeted to get her out of the way for the female stalker to go after Micheal Douglas).The Predator Stalker (PS): This is exemplified by stalkers that stalk their victim for a period of time before they inflict violence on them.  The most infamous example of this is the BTK (bind, torture, kill) killer. He stalked his victims before he eventually killed them.The Third Party Stalker (TPS): This is rare, but it is when the actual stalker brings in an accomplice to help him/her stalk their intended victim or inflict violence on them or their property to instill fear (i.e. Proctor details the story of an abusive husband who hires someone to damage his wife’s personal property on several occasions after she left him).The Retribution Stalker (TRS):This is exactly as it sounds – this stalker believes they need to get back at, or get retribution for harm they perceived was done to them. This is common in workplace settings (i.e. a laid off worker may stalk the former boss and enact a scenario of revenge on them).The Neighborhood Stalker (TNS): In this case the stalker and the stalking victim are neighbors. These have typically been difficult for law enforcement. These can be erotic-type stalking (i.e being obsessed with someone with love fantasies, or it can be the typical “bad-neighbor” scenario – stalking them with malicious intent with hatred and distrust fueling the interactions). Both have the potential to be very dangerous.Juvenile Stalkers: Minors who engage in stalking behavior- very often these are “love-based” in their origins – either its’ gone bad or gone unrequited. These are becoming more and more prevalent in recent years.Campus Stalkers: These are their own subset so that they are on the radar of campus police, instructors and officials. They can be very dangerous and there is a marked increase in these incidents over the last decade.There are, of course, psychological disorders that are commonly associated with stalking behaviors. An entire chapter is dedicated to the personality types most associated with stalking behavior. Det. Proctor details case studies of all these types and subsets in “Antidote for a Stalker”. He provides an inside look at what these look like and gives true case examples of them. If you are as fascinated with true crime stories and psychological profiling as I am, you’ll really find the book an exciting read.The Stalkers Bag of TricksAntidote for a Stalker on Amazon.comDet. Proctor dedicates a chapter to what he calls the “Stalker’s Bag of Tricks”. These are all the ways a stalker can get to their victim. Among other things, he cites: vandalism, surveillance, targeting their animals, court harassment, identity theft, cyberstalking, cyberbullying, and workplace violence stalking. This is when I think if anyone is wondering if they are being stalked, it becomes very clear by way of the means through which the stalker initiates contact with the intended.What to do if you are being stalkedDet. Proctor stresses the importance of the following Get law enforcement involved.Document everything.Notify your workplace,Get your family and friends up to speed on what’s going on – definitely don’t keep it a secret. There are times when someone thinks they may have given a stalker the wrong signal – please don’t worry about that. Once stalking has commenced, it is dangerous and you have a right to be protected by the law.Stop all contact with the stalker. This may seem live a no brainer, but, as in the case of acquaintance stalking, one can believe that if they are nice and polite enough to their stalker, they may get the point and leave them alone. Don’t try this. A stalker is someone who is potentially dangerous and is most likely aware that you do not wish to be pursued. I say “most likely” because they could have an erotomanic delusion convincing them that you are in love with them – these can be highly dangerous.Develop a safety planReview your home for safety measuresGet a restraining order if you qualifyUtilize your Neighborhood Watch program if it is availableThere are times when, depending on their ages, it can be important to tell your kids what is going on for their protection and yours. There is so much information packed into “Antidote for Stalker”. I encourage you to check it out for yourself.  Retired Detective Mike Proctor can be found at his website detectivemikeproctor.com. He is available for teaching and speaking engagements on this subject.*************************************************************If you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a great review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening! 

Addiction: The Universal TerroristEpisode #2 of The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast on PriceofBusiness.com had me on the phone with Dr. Harry Haroutunian. Known simply as “Dr. Harry”, he is the Physician Director of The Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, California. He is a “rock star” of addiction medicine to the rock stars and anyone else who comes through their doors. This article will cover information regarding the prevalence of addiction problems in the United States, my tour of the Betty Ford Center prior to this interview, information gathered from my interview with Dr. Harry and resources for addiction support.Addiction is a terrorist of the worst kind because it does not discriminate. No one is safe from it and once addiction attacks, recovery and rebuilding from the aftermath can take years. The person affected, and their relationship to themselves and their loved ones, is never the same.SAMHSA (the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) is the agency within the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services that leads public health efforts to advance the behavioral health of the nation. The following are some highlights from  the SAMHSA 2013 National Survey on Drug Use and Health  (published September 2014).In 2013, an estimated 24.6 million Americans aged 12 or older (12% of the population) were current illicit drug users. Current in this survey means they have used illicit drugs within the past 30 days. Illicit drugs include “marijuana/hashish, cocaine (all forms), heroin, hallucinogens, inhalants, or prescription-type psychotherapeutics (pain relievers, stimulants, tranquilizers, sedatives) used non-medically”.Marijuana was the most commonly used drug in 2013. It was used by 80% of the illicit drug users at the time of this survey.The numbers for overall use of illicit drugs have stayed relatively the same over recent years but are slightly higher regarding almost all the illicit drugs from 2005-2009.The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported the following statistics:Approximately 30 people die in motor vehicle crashes that involve an alcohol-impaired driver. This amounts to one death every 51 minutes.The annual cost associated with crashes involving alcohol-impaired drivers is $59 billion dollars.Excessive drinking was responsible for 1 in 10 deaths among working-age adults aged 20-64 years. The economic costs of excessive alcohol consumption in 2006 (most recent data reported) were estimated at $223.5 billion.Every day, 44 people in the U.S. die from overdose of prescription painkillers, and many more become addicted.From 2001 to 2013 there was a 2.5-fold increase in the total number of deaths from misuse or overdose of prescription medications.Those are outrageous numbers!  Statistics can be overwhelming, so I won’t fill you up with more. The above were featured to give you a basic frame of reference for how pervasive this problem is.  You can find some links to help you educate yourself further abut the data collected by both the CDC and SAMHSA in the resource section at the end of this article.Prevalence of Addiction Problems in the United StatesMy Tour of Betty Ford Center  Prior to our phone interview, I had the privilege of participating in The Betty Ford Center’s invite-only “Visiting Professionals Day”. The campus is the size of a community college campus and is in a lovely setting behind a larger medical facility. We were accompanied on the tour by program heads and other staff educating us about all the programs The Betty Ford Center has to offer. These include a state-of-the art Clinical Diagnostic Evaluation Program, a Professionals Program, a Residential Rehabilitation Program, Sober Living homes and a summer program to train medical professionals in addiction. In addition they also have a world-famous Family Program and Children’s Program.Yes, the Betty Ford Center also has a Children’s Program.No, this is not for children who are addicted, although through their recent merger with the Hazelden Foundation, treatment programs for adolescents are available.The Children’s Program is for the children of addicts and alcoholics. Children can attend even if their parents are not patients of the Center. It is a 4-day program in which they can get help to unload the burden of the emotions and secrets they carry when they have an addicted family member. The program is designed to help the children adopt a language for their emotions and to help them understand addiction in terms they can understand. Several of the children attend on scholarship. The Center takes pride that “no child has ever been turned down for financial reasons”.My Interview with Dr. Harry As the Physician Director of the Betty Ford Center, Dr. Harry has been a central figure in the development of a variety of programs at Betty Ford Center including the Extended Care Program, the Licensed Professionals Program and the Clinical Diagnostic Evaluation Program. He is an internationally known speaker in the addiction field. He has a Recovery Lecture Series and is the author of “Being Sober: A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting To, Getting Through and Living in Recovery” (2013).During the podcast interview, Dr. Harry speaks of the Licensed Professionals Program and the Clinical Diagnostic Evaluation Program (CDEP). The CDEP is one of the most comprehensive assessment programs I have ever heard of. It is designed to determine if a person does in fact have a substance use problem. This is done through a 5 day interview and assessment process with the substance user. In addition to contact with the person in question, they interview pretty much anyone the prospective patient has contact with: friends, relatives, old roommates, etc. (Of course, the prospective patient has given permission for this to happen.)Blood, hair and urine samples are collected and if necessary polygraph testing can also be administered.You may wonder why someone would go through all this. If they are at the doors of the Betty Ford Center don’t they already know they have a problem? Well, sometimes it’s not so clear or they are not seeking treatment of their own volition. For example, they may be a pilot or a medical doctor referred by their employer after receiving a DUI. This Clinical Diagnostic Evaluation can also help a person accept that they do, in fact, have a problem. If it is determined they do not have a problem, appropriate referrals can be made if there are other factors causing the person to appear in need of help (i.e. sometimes a medical condition can cause symptoms which mimic intoxication – disorientation, slurred words, etc.). If a person is diagnosed with a Substance Use Disorder and chooses to stay and accept treatment at Betty Ford Center, the cost of the evaluation is absorbed into the cost of treatment. That can be a helpful fact to know when factoring in the cost of treatment.Recovery ResourcesOf course, you can seek help at Better Ford Center or at one of their affiliated  Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation programs or call 866-831-5700.Dr. Harry’s book: Being Sober: A Step-by-Step guide for Getting To, Getting Through and Living in RecoveryThere are many resources to support patients in recovery or for support when you love someone who is struggling with addiction. The following is just a short list to serve as a launching point.Alcoholics Anonymous : AA is an “international fellowship of men and women who have had a drinking problem”. It is a group of self-supporting people seeking to stop drinking. It is open to anyone of any age, gender, race, or education level.Narcotics Anonymous : NA is the same as AA but it is an option for people seeking to stop using drugs (both street and prescription drugs).SMART Recovery : The mission (from their website) “is to support individuals who have chosen to abstain, or are considering abstinence from any type of addictive behaviors (substances or activities), by teaching how to change self-defeating thinking, emotions, and actions; and to work towards long-term satisfactions and quality of life”.211.org or call 211. 211 is a free, confidential referral and information helpline designed to help connect people to social service resources in their communities. It is available 24/7. They cover all manner of need-based referrals including addiction prevention and rehabilitation services.SOLACE: Surviving Our Loss and Continuing Every Day. This an Ohio-based support program for parents who have lost a child to drug abuse. There appears to be ways to network even if one is not in Ohio. If you are interested in this support forum, I would encourage you to check out their website and reach out to them.National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA): This site can be helpful for educating yourself about the prevalence of drug and alcohol problems.Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) : This site is great for statistical references on drugs and alcohol as well as governmental sponsored educational materials on the topic.SAMHSA’s National Helpline 1-800-662-HELP (4357): (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service) is a confidential, free, 24/7, information service, in English and Spanish. It is for individuals and family members facing mental health and/or substance. This helpline can provide referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations. Callers can also order free publications and other information.Meth Helpline sponsored by drugfree.org : 1-855-DRUG FREE (1-855-378-4373)This hotline is for parents who have concerns about their kids using meth. It is staffed by licensed social workers who are available from Mon-Fri 10:00AM-6:00PM EST in English & Spanish. They can make referrals to appropriate facilities make appropriate referrals. The website also has links to information sources on meth use and treatment locators.Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie : A classic book for helping those that have typically found themselves in relationships with addicts or alcoholics.Rational Recovery:The New Cure for Substance Addiction: This is yet another self-help model for recovery.  It  offers an aggressive self-help program to take charge of one’s behavior immediately. It is not spiritual or group-based.  It is focused on getting the individual to make changes on their own.If you or a loved one are dealing with an addiction, know that resources are available to help you overcome it. I wish you success in your journey.Disclaimer: Dr. Mullen has not received any compensation from any of the aforementioned resources, the listing of which does not constitute an endorsement. Furthermore, Dr. Mullen cannot be held responsible for information obtained from any of these help lines, websites or support groups.**************************************************If you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a gret review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast  The Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!

Dr. Mark Wiederhold is the President of the Virtual Reality Medical Center (VRMC).  The VRMC has locations in San Diego, Los Angeles, Coronado and internationally Qing Dao, China and  Brussels, Belgium.  Dr. Wiederhold and his team, co-headed by his wife, Dr. Brenda Wiederhold, originally developed Virtual Reality (VR) protocols to treat phobias, specifically fear of driving, fear of flying and fear of public speaking.  Many of us can relate to the fear of public speaking, right? No matter how good at it one is now, there was probably a time when they had to psych themselves up in order to go confidently in front of their audience.  Well, Drs. Wiederhold and team have technology that can immerse a person in a 360 degree experience to better aid them in overcoming their fears.  Their work  in the anxiety and phobia arena has expanded over the last 20 years to also include treatment for fear of closed spaces, heights, needles and blood, open spaces, spiders, thunderstorms, school phobia, social phobia, ADHD, panic disorder, flying anticipatory anxiety, general anxiety disorders and for pain distraction.  They are now even using VR therapy to treat Wounded Warriors with combat-related Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  How you may ask? Let’s find out!What is Virtual Reality Therapy and how is it Delivered?Drs. Wiederhold and their team at The VRMC have been around for about 20 years.  Computers were very different back then, which is a pretty interesting bit of information pertaining to virtual reality therapy. Although the virtual reality treatment protocols have advanced with our technical capabilities, surprisingly, the mode of the experience delivery is still very similar to what it was back then.  So, what is virtual reality technology? It is essentially a headset comprised of glasses which house a computer screen in its lenses and a set of headphones.  A client will wear the headset, watching a scene indicative of a 360 degree experience they fear (i.e. the taking off of an airplane) on the computer screen, while also wearing the headphones which deliver the sound of the actual feared experience. When a client presents for therapy at the VRMC, they will initially go through a 90-minute to 2-hour initial assessment with a licensed therapist.  There will be no VR used in that session and it will probably feel like most any other initial assessment at a therapist’s office.  What happens next is where it veers from traditional therapy.  Since the treatment is to get a person exposed to their feared situation, the first few sessions are comprised of stress-response skill building.  Examples of this are relaxation strategies and deep breathing techniques.  The client will be encouraged to practice this in between sessions in order to prep them for their 360 degree immersive sessions.  After that, the Virtual Reality fun really begins! The VR sessions are 20-minutes of exposure to the feared stimulus wearing the VR headset.  While the client is in their immersive experience, the clinician in the room is monitoring the client’s physiological responses through heart and breathing monitors.  The session does not seek to “flood” the client with fear (as some phobia treatment protocols do), but rather, the supervising clinician will provide the client with “just enough” stimulation each time to raise their anxiety little by little until they can handle a full immersive experience from start to finish.  This is a Virtual Reality system that uses a smart phone as a display   Virtual Reality Re-Training of Combat VeteransThe Virtual Reality Medical Center has very high rates of success- upwards of over 90% for certain phobias.  This is a tremendous number in the world of treatment statistics.  After focusing on treating phobias for so many years, Drs. Wiederhold and their team have branched out over the past 10 years to expanding their treatment protocols to treating combat veterans/Wounded Warriors with Post traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).The VRMC’s work with combat trauma clients was born out of their work with survivors of Motor Vehicle Accidents (MVAs) with PTSD.  When they realized they were effective with treating the trauma of the MVA survivors, they began to run research trials on developing initial protocols and treating combat trauma survivors.  Combat trauma survivors have high rates of what’s called co-morbid, or co-occurring struggles.  Most commonly, the co-morbid problems are traumatic brain injuries, substance use disorders (drugs or alcohol), and domestic violence/anger management problems.  Treating the PTSD successfully can vastly decrease or even eliminate the incidents of these very serious co-morbid problems.  The well-known problem with treating the veteran population from the civilian world has consistently been retention in treatment.   The unique nature of the military experience and the combat-centered life has traditionally posed struggles in trusting the civilian therapist.  The thinking has been that the civilian therapists “don’t know what it’s like” and the experience of being in theater is not an experience that’s even close to being easy to relate to.  The nature of the structure of the VRMC’s protocol is such that the presenting Veteran doesn’t have to worry about having to “re-tell” his war stories.  He/she knows that after the initial assessment session, they will be taught skills, and then be exposed to the stimulus scene.  Dr. Wiederhold pointed out that since the current veterans are predominantly of the age of the video game generation, for as much as VR re-training is not a video game, it is helpful that the method of  re-training delivery is similar to that of a video game.  The retention rate has been over 90% and the “re-training” success rate has been about 80%.  This is an outstanding statistic no matter what population one is treating, but to have it as the statistic for treating a population that has had such a historically difficult time staying engaged in treatment is really something to take notice of!But What Does Virtual Reality Therapy Feel Like?After the formal recorded interview was over, Dr. Wiederhold let me explore the clinic and the equipment.  I got to experience an introduction virtual reality experiential session.  I was led into an office that looked like a regular generic office – lots of computers on the table top, but nothing that screamed, “You are about to enter a combat zone!” But that’s exactly what I did.  I was strapped into the head piece.  It was rather comfortable – it felt like what I imagine watching a movie on the lenses of my sunglasses would feel like with the surround sound coming through the headphones.  Dr. Wiederhold set up my scene and adjusted my lens for me. Next thing I knew, I was a passenger in a Humvee with my driver and my gunner standing behind me.  I didn’t know what to expect as we drove through the village.  About 7 or 8 minutes in, I felt my anxiety rise and said to Dr. Wiederhold, “I’m worried that I’m going to miss the blast if I look away”.  I was concerned I was watching a potential “real combat” scene.  The good doctor assured me he didn’t set me up in a trauma scene – I would not be blown up or shot at.  He explained that the voyage I was on was part of a 20-minute Stress Inoculation Scene.  This is one of the scenes they are now just beginning to use to get soldiers ready for going to a war zone (I’ll explain more about that in the next section). What I witnessed was driving through an Iraqi town outskirts, and then through a small village.  There were people milling about and if I turned my head in any direction, I got a full 360 degree experience- even saw what my feet would look like all geared-up! I really can say that I could see the benefit of getting used to the new scenery before someone is sent there.  It is anxiety provoking due to all the unknowns.  Getting desensitized to the environment would allow a soldier to possibly be able to more effectively stay present and focused on the potential threats in the area versus having to be aware of every little bit of new stimuli.  I was definitely sold on the experience! I’d love on a return visit to try out a phobia scene – I’ve pretty much conquered a long-time fear of heights, but I’d love to experience that scene.  Reason #10 to definitely convince Dr. Wiederhold to let me interview him some more!I’m getting ready for my VR experience The Future Possibilities for Virtual Reality Re-Training of other Veteran PopulationsThe Virtual Reality Medical Center seems to be constantly engaging in research to expand their treatment capabilities.  As I mentioned in my experience with the goggles on, they are now doing research in the area of what’s called Stress Inoculation Therapy.  According to MentalHelp.net, Stress Inoculation Therapy (SIT) is “a psychotherapy method intended to help patients prepare themselves in advance to handle stressful events successfully and with a minimum of upset. The use of the term “inoculation” in SIT is based on the idea that a therapist is inoculating or preparing patients to become resistant to the effects of stressors in a manner similar to how a vaccination works to make patients resistant to the effects of particular diseases”.  The VRMC is not only utilizing this therapy to prepare active-duty troops, but they are also using it to prepare the combat-zone medical professionals.  The medics going to our war zones may be used to seeing blood and bodily trauma, but because of potential sheer volume and severity of the traumas they could be subjected to on a regular basis, they have implemented SIT training for the medic staff. (I’ve posted a couple of pics of the training materials).  They use fake wounds and blood to desensitize these doctors and better prepare them to stay focused on their tasks at hand.The VRMC is utilizing the Stress Inoculation Therapy protocol to prepare troops for entering the combat zones.  The work the VRMC is doing is focused on coming up with strategies that seek to decrease the risk of PTSD even happening.  Wouldn’t that be amazing!  But wait! They’re not stopping there! They have already had the opportunity to send VR equipment to Fallujah and treat troops on base.  Established research on treating trauma-related symptoms has demonstrated that the earlier a trauma survivor receives treatment, the better the results of that treatment.  With the VRMC being able to equip the war-zone medical centers with the virtual reality technology, there’s no telling how many troops could be spared some really intrusive emotional repercussions.  I’ll look forward to finding out at our next meeting what they’ve been able to implement as far as protocols in combat-zone bases.And there’s more!! When I was prepping for this interview, someone asked me if the VRMC treats Vietnam War veterans.  I asked that question to Dr Wiederhold.  They are, in fact, beginning to design those protocols.  Treating this population would pose different obstacles to overcome: the time removed from the trauma incident, their possible lack of comfort with using the technology, and, of course, getting funding form the Department of Veteran’s Affairs to provide such treatment.  In order to get that sort of finding, they will need to conduct research, which also means having access to that population, which certainly is not as readily available as our current veterans.  However, after learning about all that they do, I’m sure if the Drs. Wiederhold and their team believe they have a protocol that can help heal this population, they will do everything possible to find a way to deliver it to them. It was a pleasure and a privilege to spend this time at the Virtual Reality Medical Center and with Dr. Wiederhold.  Thank you!If you are enjoying the podcast and want to support it without it costing you a dime, there are 3 ways:Share an episode on your social mediaLeave a gret review wherever you love to listen to your podcastsUse my Amazon Storefront Amazon.com/shop/drColleenMullen When you enter Amazon through my storefront. For every purchase you make for 24 hours, I will get a small portion of that sale. You were paying for it anyway, this way a small % of the sale goes to support your favorite podcast. While you're there, you can check out some of my favorite wellness-supporting products and apps! Enjoy!If you want to interact with Colleen more personally or stay up-to-date on her other podcasts and happenings, you can follow or friend her on:FacebookInstagramTwitterListen to Shrink@Shrink to learn about love and life through the movies every month.Ladies, Look for the upcoming Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast  The Embrace Your Inner Leader Podcast every month to get empowered and inspired by unique female stories of success!You can buy the book: Stop Bitching, Just Lead! The 60-Day Plan for Embracing Your Inner LeaderIf you want to work with Colleen for personal 1:1 coaching to help you conquer the chaos in your life, just reach out through CoachingThroughChaos.com click on the Contact page.Thanks for listening!

IDMYGD Radio Show Recap Monday 3/31-My kid escaped from school and bought candy on credit and we discuss the best EFF OFFS of the week left on our website including 1 about a wife acting like a baby instead of joining the 4some her husband had cooking with 2 of her friends while they were visiting from another country.  Cmon, how many times do you have that opportunity?  #noregrets.

http://archive.org/download/SaveOurCityEp10/Save_Our_City_Ep_10.mp3Stop Bitching!!!

Basement: (NSFW!)Hunger Games. Hunger 2 vs Xmen 2. Racist tweets. Fat Betty Draper. “Daddy's going to do some art, darling!” Walking Dead baby? Star Wars Kinect. Stop Bitching! Paranormal Activity: Latino. The Demon Fear. Charlie's Angels of exorcism. True Blood season 5. Free Ring Tone! Cap 2. Blood & Chrome. Darkest Hour. Donald Glover. Modern … Continue reading "0203 – New Episode has a ‘convincing' wig"

Basement: (NSFW!)Hunger Games. Hunger 2 vs Xmen 2. Racist tweets. Fat Betty Draper. “Daddy's going to do some art, darling!” Walking Dead baby? Star Wars Kinect. Stop Bitching! Paranormal Activity: Latino. The Demon Fear. Charlie's Angels of exorcism. True Blood season 5. Free Ring Tone! Cap 2. Blood & Chrome. Darkest Hour. Donald Glover. Modern … Continue reading "0203 – New Episode has a ‘convincing' wig"

Our fanalysts discuss NBA free agency, AI to Miami (NOOOOOOOOOOO!) Tell Dwyane Wade to stop bitching, plus the MLB all-star break, predictions, analysis, and an attack on Donte Stallworth and why he got out too easilly!

Look we took some time off to have a life so stop carrrying on like a PC at a JW and all will be forgiven Viewers. Nathan Morcom goes international with the ADAC GT Masters and FBR. Benny Simonsen gets the BGT gig with Hector. CL brings home the bacon for Allan at B12. Porsche 2L V4 LMP1 fuel engines. Trickyness on RBR Jnr Team. Parity in TUSCC. Zanardi back in GT Racing. Standing starts for IndyCar at Long Beach. Christina the star enduro GT female. Mac sales greater than PC. iWatch health focus. Samsung screen madness. The Clipsal preview. JP goes bonkers for Roo. F1 blabness.