F*ck You, I'm Smarter with Kelly and Lindsey

It's so hard.... to say goodbye... to yesterday..... Dry your eye, we are just taking a little recess and we will be back! It's been 119 amazing episodes and we want to take a little hiatus to regroup and refresh! Also, we are going to Costa Rica to celebrate Kelly's birthday and then she's going to Florida... again. Lindsey is engaged and needs to spend her time having an anxiety attack thinking about the idea of having a wedding and wondering why her partner "Did this to me" and Martha (is that her name?) left in the middle of the night one night and we haven't hear from her in months. I guess we should have told you that sooner. So, while we find a replacement for Marsha (That's her name!) and while Kelly hangs out with all the Florida men, we are going to leave you with some of our favorite FYIS memories and games. See you later, skater. H.A.G.S. If you miss us, you have 119 episodes to peruse AND you can look at our beautiful faces on Youtube Live. Follow us on Instagram for more content from your favorite idiots. Hearts and Farts, Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

This week's special episode is from a super fun Twitch Livestream that we did a few weeks back with Lindsey's sister and return guest Jess Jubilee and her rockstar boyfriend NIGELTHREETIMES.  AND for the first time in FYIS history, Kelly and Lindsey messed up and both wrote a game on the same subject thinking that Lindsey was supposed to write a Hello Kitty game and Kelly was supposed to write a Hello Kitty episode and THEY BOTH WROTE A HELLO KITTY EPISODE. HELLLLLOOOO KITTTTTTTYYYYYY.  Confusion creeps in, mistakes are made, hilarity ensues and now we both know more about Hello Kitty than Jessica, Nigel and everyone else in the world.  Enjoy the episode you pretty kitties!  Follow Jubilee: https://soundcloud.com/jubileedj https://www.instagram.com/jubileedj/?hl=en https://twitter.com/JubileeDJ Follow Nigel: https://soundcloud.com/nigelthreetimes https://www.instagram.com/nigelthreetimes/?hl=en https://twitter.com/NIGELTHREETIMES Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

We are starting this year off with a BANG of a good time with this week's guest Billy Francesca!!! Known as an "over-the-top drag queen without a wig", this performer proves to be as smart as he is funny... unless it has anything to do with math.  Speaking of math, we start our school day off with a painful math class thanks to Miss Lindsey. Known as someone who has never legally passed math, will Billy blow it? Only Billy knows if he will blow it or not. Our guess is that he blew it.  Then, because Billy went to Catholic school for much of his life, Miss Kelly brings us to religion class where we go spread eagle for Christ and learn all about female saints. Do you know which female saint was known to be the saint who never did poppers? The Patron Saint of The Abstinence of Poppers, of course. During recess we play a good old fashioned game of MASH where we find out that Billy does not end up living in a shack which would be a surprise to many of the nuns who taught him.  In honor of a childhood game Billy used to play with the neighborhood kids, we play Billy the Bobcat where we learn that bobcats aren't super fast but boy they are cute, just like Billy! Then Kelly takes us to Italy because Billy spent some time there when he was younger and Billy proves that he doesn't really remember much of the language except for some weird Italian noises and mumbles and things.  Will Lindsey blow it? Will Kelly blow it? Will Billy blow it? Someone's gotta blow it. Listen to the episode to find out who blows it.   Follow Billy: https://www.instagram.com/billyfrancesca/?hl=en https://twitter.com/billyfrancesca https://www.billyfrancesca.com/   Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

SPECIAL CROSSOVER EPISODE ALERT! WOOOO HOOOOO!!! This week we want to play for you a super fun episode we recorded with younger-than-Kelly-and-Lindsey besties, Carly and Kelsey of the super great podcast 'Brought to You by the Letter Pod'. Enjoy! ***Carly and Kelsey welcome their first-ever guests on the show, Kelly and Lindsey from the hilarious podcast F*ck You, I'm Smarter! In this week's episode, we talk about how Carly is very much in love with Ben Franklin. The BTYBTL & FYIS gals dive into all of Ben's inventions like bifocals, flippers, and the glass harmonica (WTF is that?). We play a game called, "Did Ben Say That?" and learn about young Ben and how his older brother, James, was a bit of a dick...OH, and we also discuss Ben's dick. Get ready to fall in love all over again with Philadelphia's sweetheart and mascot: Benjamin Franklin. Follow Brought To You By The Letter: https://www.instagram.com/bytheletterpod/ Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

New Year, New YOU!!!!!!!! BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!!!! LET'S DO OUR NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS IN THE SPRING BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE. TERRIBLE. HORRIBLE. EVERYTHING IS A BUST.  Hi. How are you? We are okay. Are you? We promise this New Years episode is a fun one even though things are really crazy right now. Are we there yet? If you need a laugh and need to escape, we are your girls. We got you! Listen to this week's episode, breathe, take care of yourself, buy an N95 and try to breathe. Did we mention that you should try to breathe? JUST BREATHE DAMMIT!  Happy New Year, you beautiful, filthy animals.    Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

Jesus is the reason for the season - and good news! This episode is all about Jesus! Not really. It actually has very little to do with Jesus at all. In fact, this episode has nothing to do with Jesus and has everything to do with gift giving (or lack there of if you're Kelly) and holiday foods because sometimes stuffing your face is the only way to get through it. We are all in this together. Lindsey starts our school day off with a gift giving quiz where we learn that Kelly REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY wants a plastic cat tongue to bond with her cats because she feels like she hasn't bonded with them enough. We spoke to the cats and they feel like enough is enough. Who wants to tell her? Then, for recess, Kelly gives us some tips to help keep us sane this holiday season. Here's a tip or two! Bring a friend, get a bottle of whiskey, drink it and let them all have it! Especially Grandma because she's the oldest and this all trickled down from her. Then Kelly takes us home with a quiz about holiday foods because instead of spiraling, she is leaning into the holiday season this year and she's doing it through food and we have to support it because this is healthy for her.  Happy Holidays! Be safe. Eat lots of goodies and don't forget to breathe through it. It's going to be okay. 'Tis the season to have a nervous breakdown anyway so if you need to, have at it. What would Jesus do? Support that breakdown, baby! Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

Surprise! 'Tis the season for a Special Bonus Ep Day! This special bonus episode is from a few weeks back when Kelly and Lindsey were guests on the hilarious podcast- 'Wild Nights With Rocky Powell'. Rocky wanted to hear about our wildest night as a comedy duo and BFFs and after 15 years together as a couple, Kelly and Lindsey have had their fair share of wild nights together. Warning: This episode contains talk of incredibly strong pot brownies, horrendous covers of songs that should have been left alone and making out with open-micers. ENJOY! Listen to Wild Nights With Rocky: https://www.instagram.com/wildnightswithrocky/ Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

Holy Moly! It's another double whammy! This week cohosts of the very funny 'The Weather's Crazy Podcast', Greg and Jack, go head to head and try to outsmart one another in games about everything BUT the weather.  Kelly starts our school day in English class with a throwback game of 'Shakespeare Shananigans'. Does anyone have else have a three-piled piece on their pizzle or is it just me? Then we head on over to Psychology class where Lindsey tries to write a game about how the weather affects your mood and it's kind of boring and doesn't really work but it's okay because next is RECESS!! During Recess the boys charm us with a fun game where we learn that Hitler ran a massive campaign against smoking. Wouldn't it have been nice if he just stopped it there? After Recess Kelly takes us to Study Hall because these slackers were never the studying type and they STILL got good grades. Jealous? Us too.  Lindsey then redeems herself with a game originally called 'Bird Migration Station' that becomes 'Bird Up', which you would only understand if you listened to 'The Weather's Crazy Podcast'. Listen up, ya hear? Will Greg and Jack's 20-year friendship make it past this episode of FYIS or will these games tear them apart once and for all? You'll have to listen to find out!    Find Jack and Greg: https://www.instagram.com/weatherscrazypod/ Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

It's a special duo day on F*ck You, I'm Smarter! This week we have Kelsey and Carly, cohosts of the super fun podcast 'Brought To You By The Letter'. K&C are two besties that have way too much in common with K&L that it is actually possible that they are them, but 10 years younger, living in the present day like this is some sort of multiverse, matrix, alternative universe life thingie. So basically, the four of us together are Karly and Larndsey.  We start our school day with Miss Kelly in Track and Field where our two guests met many moons ago in high school, sweaty and struggling and contemplating their life choices when it comes to running far distances. Bye! Then Lindsey takes us to Meteorology class where we play "Who Are You Calling A Weather Girl?' because Carly's got a mad crush on the weather, yo.  During Recess the girls teach a Sex Ed adjacent class where we learn the phrase "Knobs Out" made up by Kelsey. It's so fun to say we had to add it to our chalkboard.  After Recess we head on over to foraging class where we learn all about mushrooms, freeganism and all the do's and don't of the world of foraging. Don't over forage, ya'll. And DO NOT take mushrooms from strangers. We end our school day in Plant Class where we learn all about defensive plants. That's right. Plants may look cute and make you and your home feel all warm and fuzzy but they are savage if you cross them.  Will Kelsey forage her way to the top? Will Carly prove she's a real life weather girl? Will Kelsey and Carly and Kelly and Lindsey be forever besties! YOU KNOW IT!    Listen to Brought To You By The Letter: https://twitter.com/bytheletterpod https://www.instagram.com/bytheletterpod/ https://www.tiktok.com/@bytheletterpod Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

POP QUIZ, BABIES! That's right! This episode is for all of our infant listeners because Kelly's sister had a BABY!!!!! KELLY IS OFFICIALLY AN AUNTIE!!! COOL AUNT ALERT! WE REPEAT, COOL AUNT ALERT!!!! Because we want to make sure Kelly is baby ready, we go back to an old quiz that we did with Kara Klenk many moons ago called 'Oh Baby, Baby' to check her knowledge on all things newborns.  Then, because Kelly's sister is officially the 8th wonder of the world... (Let's break this down. Kelly was with Lindsey when her sister had the baby and Lindsey was like, "Oh my god. Your sister made a baby in her body. What a miracle! She is one of the wonders of the world! Something like that.) Kelly does a quiz where she tests Lindsey on all the Wonders of the World and Lindsey does surprisingly well. Who knew! Will Kelly remember what Meconium is? No. Will Lindsey know who built the Taj Mahal and why? Kinda. Will Kelly be the best auntie in the world??? Of course she will!!!! Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

BOY OH BOY OH BOY did we have a wild time with the host of 'Wild Nights With Rocky', Rocky Powell?! We did!  Rocky joins us from the east coast to chat about science fairs, being the class treasurer, social studies and squirrels.  We start our school day in Student Government because Rocky was the class treasurer. Money, money, money, moneyyyyyyy, MONEY!!!! You're welcome for getting that stuck in your head for the rest of the day.  Then Kelly takes us on over to Social Studies/Improv AKA Humanities class where we play a game called 'Fake It Til You Make It'. During this class we learn that butt implants are never a good idea. Ever. Just trust us, will ya? Then we hit Recess hard where we find out how distracting Rocky was in school when she started a "count down chart" club. She also convinced everyone is school that they could dig a hole to China so they could visit Disney World China and spoiler: it didn't work.  After Recess, Lindsey holds a science fair for the ladies and they prove to be future scientists of the world. Seriously, in conclusion they do a really good job and it's super impressive.  Then Kelly brings it on home with a game all about Squirrels in honor of Rocky's old Improv team The Pin-Up Squirrels. Did Rocky know that all chipmunks are squirrels but not all squirrels are chipmunks? Did Lindsey know what part of the squirrel never stops growing? Did Kelly know under what color light do plants grow best? You'll have to listen to find out.  Follow Rocky: https://www.instagram.com/rockiixbalboa/ https://twitter.com/rockiibalboa Rocky's Pod (We were just guest on it! It's so fun!): https://www.instagram.com/wildnightswithrocky/ Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

Veteran's Day is this week and nothing says Veteran's Day like a quiz about Ancient Greeks. They were the OG Veteran's weren't they? Kind of? Whatever.  More importantly, do you know the difference between Sophocles and Socrates? Do you know which Golden Girl was a veteran? Do you know which ancient Greek was featured in 'Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure'? Do you know what day it is? If you listen to this week's episode you will find out the answers to most of those questions.  Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

Writer, actor and comedian Ever Mainard is on the show this week and it's a real fun one so get ready! It's also officially November, which is Native American History month so Lindsey starts our school day off in American History Class where we learn about some kickass Native Americans that made this country what it is today. What do you know about Buffalo Calf Road Woman? If you don't know, now you know. Well, after you listen to the episode you'll know.  Then, because Ever was the mascot in high school, the bee (Honeybee? Bumblebee? We don't remember), Kelly takes us to Bee Class. Can you name two diseases or conditions that bee stings may have some health benefits for? Can you? Then, at recess, Ever tells us a story that we've named "Shoeless in Texas". You'll have to listen to the story to find out what happens to their feet and why they will never got barefoot again. Actually, they probably will. IT'S TEXAS! After recess Lindsey brings us to AG class where we play "You Look Like A Farmer In Those Clothes" and learn all things farming. Do you know what kind of milk brown cows produce? We seriously hope you say the right answer but just know that 7% of the adult population in the United States thought the answer was chocolate milk. Sigh.  Kelly ends our school day with a Mascot quiz where we find out what mascot is the oldest, what mascot died in 2020 and what was up with the real Captain Morgan.  Will Lindsey crawl her way back to the middle? Will Kelly prove she's got the smarts? Will Ever outwit us all? You'll just have to listen to find out.    Follow Ever:  https://www.instagram.com/evermainard Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

Happy Halloweeeeeennnnie! Because this week is our final Halloween episode and spooky season is coming to an end, we bring in Halloween expert and horror movie enthusiast Mike Malandra to talk all things spooky with us!  Mike is so obsessed with Halloween, he joined us from a car while on vacation. Now that's some creepy commitment!  Lindsey leads the game 'Happy Halloweenie, You Weenie' where she quizzes Kelly and Mike about popular Halloween costumes, candies and the truth about candy corn. Love or hate it? We need to know. Kelly then quizzes Mike and Lindsey about some classic horror movies. Will Lindsey prove she knows nothing about any kind of movie that isn't a dumb comedy because she was raised that way, or will she pull some very specific Troll 2 trivia out of her nipple belt (IYKYK) at the last moment for the win?! Probably both! Happy Halloween Kiddos! Be safe, eats lots of candy, have some cider and enjoy the last bit of this spooky season, will ya?    Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

What a pleasure it is to have this week's guest, the one and only, Jackie Brubaker. She's an activist, she's a baker, she's a musical theatre actress, she's a podcaster.... she's now she's a LADY DOCTOR!!! Listen to find out how she becomes one. We start our episode throwing it back to Jackie's high school days where she shares a #metoo story that is so moving and so important you'll be shocked that it's on a silly little podcast like FYIS. Because Jackie wanted to be a doctor but her lack of math skills got in the way, we start our school day off in Doctor class (Yeah, I said it) where we learn about famous lady doctors, or just doctors who happen to be ladies. However you want to put it. Then Kelly attempts to teach us about science and Jackie blows us all away with her knowledge of the Bonobos. IYKYK.  Then at recess, thanks to a game of MASH, we learn about Jackie's future, marrying Roger Rabbit, living in a mansion and living her best life. Then Lindsey leads an as-painless-as-possible Math class because Jackie may or may not have hired someone to take Statistics for her in college. Cannot deny or confirm, sorry.  Then Kelly takes us home with a Halloween quiz because DID YOU GUYS KNOW IT'S SPOOKY SEASON AND WE WON'T STOP UNTIL NOVEMBER. K, thanks.  Will Jackie win this game because she pulled some serious knowledge out of her butt and impressed us all? YUP. That happens.  Follow Jackie: https://www.instagram.com/jackiebrubaker/ https://www.jackiebrubaker.com/ Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile   For resources, support, and to find out how you can help survivors of sexual assault: https://www.rainn.org/ https://metoomvmt.org/  

Goodbye Christopher Columbus and HELLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO Native Americans! Do you know what state was the first state to recognize Indigenous Peoples' Day instead of Columbus Day? We will give you a hint. It's long and liberal and rhymes with Palifornia.  After Kelly leads us in a History quiz all about Indigenous Peoples' Day, Lindsey continues our Spooky Season celebration with a quiz all about ghosts. Here's a ghost riddle just for fun. What kind of roads do ghosts like to drive on? Answer this riddle in a comment and don't forget to give us five stars while you're at it.  Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile   If you want to support the Native American community this Indigenous Peoples' Day, check out the links below!  Association on American Indian Affairs (AAIA) Native American Capital (NAC) Women Empowering Women for Indigenous Nations (WEWIN) Native American Rights Fund (NARF)

Happy Spooky Season you little critters! It's time to bust out your sweaters, carve some pumpkins and snack on some circus peanuts.  And because nothing is more fall than pumpkin spice everything, Lindsey does a pumpkin spice quiz to get your palate ready. Did you know that Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte has 90,000 Twitter followers? Don't hate. But also isn't that dumb.  And because it wouldn't be October with Oktoberfest, we end this episode with an Oktoberfest game where we chat about german beer, pretzels and lederhosen. We also find out that Oktoberfest isn't even in October but actually in September and this is why everything is horrible and everything is a lie.  Happy Spooky Season you girls and ghouls.    Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Also!!!! Abortion Funds and Beyond: Here are the ways you can help Texans. https://www.salon.com/2021/09/02/abortion-funds-and-beyond-here-are-the-best-ways-to-help-texans/ And if you can, please donate to the Afghan Women's Mission: http://www.afghanwomensmission.org/

Light up a doobie cause this one is a fun little doozy. We have actor, comedian, cabaret star and former Susan Miller fan....Scout Durwood aka Lady Scountington!!!!!! Hey girl, hey! Because Scout is living that #vanlife she joins us from a van pulled over on the side of the road on her way to Palm Springs! That's California traffic and that's commitment!  Because Scout is originally from Kansas City, Kansas, Kelly starts our school day off in Geometry class where we learn a lot about tornados because apparently that's a thing there.  Then, because Scout starred in the MTV show Mary + Jane we go to D.A.R.E and learn all about drugs, man. You've played a game on FYIS but have you played a game on FYIS on Weeeeeeeed?  Kelly then takes us to Student Government, although her class doesn't really have anything to do with Student Government and is more about strange awards shows in honor of Scout being nominated for a Streamy Award. Just go with it.  Then Lindsey ends our day in Fashion class where we learn all about Coco Chanel? Why, you ask? Well, because miss Chanel was responsible for the famous quote, "Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off." And why is this significant? Because Scout's visual album (that you should WATCH NOW) is called 'Take one thing off' and it's AMAZING! Link below.  Will Scout school us from a van parked in the middle of no where? Will Kelly want to join the pool rats? Will Lindsey know anything about tornados? No. She's more of a hurricane aficianado.  Ps. Special shout out to Susan Miller. We hope the stars have aligned and you're eating lots of non-anemic omelets these days.  Follow Scout on the Grams: https://www.instagram.com/scoutdurwood/ Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Also!!!! Abortion Funds and Beyond: Here are the ways you can help Texans. https://www.salon.com/2021/09/02/abortion-funds-and-beyond-here-are-the-best-ways-to-help-texans/ And if you can, please donate to the Afghan Women's Mission: http://www.afghanwomensmission.org/

Goodbye summer and helllllllllo fall. This week we are falling out of love with summer and falling into bed with fall. We are saying "so long" to summer and "farewell no longer" to fall! Summer is a sucker and fall is fierce, baby! What we are trying to say is that it is no longer summer and now it's time for fall, okay!? Got it? This week we do a deep dive into calendars, Julius Caesar and watermelon. Fruit or vegetable? You tell us! This episode is inspired, riveting and promises to make you think differently about the leap year. WE PROMISE.  Happy fall, ya'll.  Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Also!!!! Abortion Funds and Beyond: Here are the ways you can help Texans. https://www.salon.com/2021/09/02/abortion-funds-and-beyond-here-are-the-best-ways-to-help-texans/ And if you can, please donate to the Afghan Women's Mission: http://www.afghanwomensmission.org/

Oh boy, oh boy! Do we have a treat for you! This week we sit down with comedian, writer and Twitter extraordinaire MYKA FOX!! When we asked Myka what her favorite subjects were she stumped us with her thirst for statistics, linguistics and physics. Clearly Myka hasn't listened to the show or she would have known that we aren't smart enough to write such quizzes. HELP!  "Irregardless", Lindsey starts the school day with a Statistics quiz called, "Survey Says" where she asks two real statistics questions and then switches to some of the weirdest statistics of all time because she isn't really smart enough to teach an entire class on numbers and things. Then Kelly takes us to Marching Band class because Myka used to be a whizz on the french horn? Timbales? MARIMBAS! Get it girl! At recess we talk about all the times Myka got kicked out of her friend group. Kids can be so cruel! LEAVE LITTLE MYKA ALONE OR ELSE!  Then Lindsey makes an attempt at teaching the class Linguistics with a game called "First Statistics, Now Linguistics". Spoiler: Kelly's edible kicks in during this quiz and things get realllll hairy.  Then Kelly ends our school day with a Theatre History class where we play a game called "What A Bunch Of Thespians" where we get all Greek and shit. Question: Who came first? Jesus or Thespis? Asking for a couple of dumb dumbs.  Follow Myka Fox, Twitter Queen: https://twitter.com/MykaFox https://www.instagram.com/mykafox/ Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Also!!!! Abortion Funds and Beyond: Here are the ways you can help Texans. https://www.salon.com/2021/09/02/abortion-funds-and-beyond-here-are-the-best-ways-to-help-texans/ And if you can, please donate to the Afghan Women's Mission: http://www.afghanwomensmission.org/

Happy happy Labor Day!!!!! What does Labor Day mean to you? Does it mean sitting in the pool with a wine spritzer in your hand? Does it mean working time and and half and making that dough, bro? Is it a day to think about our moms who did a lot of laboring to push out tiny little humans that grew into the idiots we are today?  Whatever Labor Day means to you, try to reward yourself today for all the hard work you do, day in and day out. Cheers to all the hard-working heroes out there who have made living through Covid more manageable. We see you, we love, we appreciate you. Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Also!!!! Abortion Funds and Beyond: Here are the ways you can help Texans. https://www.salon.com/2021/09/02/abortion-funds-and-beyond-here-are-the-best-ways-to-help-texans/ And if you can, please donate to the Afghan Women's Mission: http://www.afghanwomensmission.org/

Summer break is over and it's back to class, kiddos! This week we go back to school masked and vaxed with actor, writer, director and faux Phish fan Corey Podell.  Because Corey listened to Phish only to get closer to those hot, patchouli-smelling high-school boys we start our day off in Biology class with a Fish/Phish quiz. What do you call a Phish with no eye? PHSSSSSSSSH. If you listen to the episode, you'll get this high-larious joke.  Then Kelly takes us to Music class so we can do a deep dive into Corey's love and admiration for everyone's favorite equestrian's father, "The Boss", Bruce Springsteen.  In recess we bring back MASH-Y where in Corey's future, she ends up a teacher, living on a yacht with Eddie Vedder. If that doesn't sound like a future you'd die to have, then maybe this isn't the podcast for you.  Then Lindsey takes us to Social Studies where we do a Real World vs. FYIS challenge because who didn't grow up obsessed with seasons 1-8 of The Real World? We sure did. RIP Pedro. We love you.  Then Kelly takes us home with a quick 'Little House On The Prairie' quiz for English class where Lindsey proves to know literally nothing about these books. They were books right? Was there more than one book? Was it a movie? What is happening? Will Lindsey fail and flop like a fish listening to Phish? Will Kelly remember the slap heard round the world and why it even happened? Will Corey prove to be a freakin' high school genius ? Listen to this week's episode to find out.  Find Corey: https://www.instagram.com/coreypodell/ Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile If you can, please donate to the emergency Afghan rescue mission: gofund.me/54c36b1c and to World Central Kitchen in Haiti: https://donate.wck.org/give/352935/#!/donation/checkout

Summer is almost over so let's make the most of it! ARE YOU READY FOR MORE ROAD TRIP TALK!?!?!? Well, you came to the right place!  This week Kelly and Lindsey are still not ready to go back to reality as they reminisce one last time about their dueling road trips. Pass the sour gummy worms and salt and vinegar chips, this may be a bumpy ride.  In honor of her incredible southern coastal road trip and ghost tour experience with her momma, Kelly teaches Lindsey all about ghost cum and other otherworldly wonders in the game "The Ghosts Of Savannah." Then Lindsey finishes our school day with a North Carolina quiz because, well..."Take your shirt off, twist it 'round your hand. Spin it like a helicopter. North Carolina, come on and raise up." IYKYK, I guess. (You can take the Lindsey out of the frat house, but you can't take the frat house out of the Lindsey. Truly can't believe she made it this far.) Get back to class, kiddos!  Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile If you can, please donate to the emergency Afghan rescue mission: gofund.me/54c36b1c and to World Central Kitchen in Haiti: https://donate.wck.org/give/352935/#!/donation/checkout    

What happens when Kelly and Lindsey go on dueling road trips? They make a pop quiz out of it, of course.  This week Kelly and Lindsey catch up and talk about their summer vacations and quiz each other on different events and topics they experienced while on the road.  They both flew to North Carolina and hung out for one night only and then Lindsey went up and Kelly went down. Up and down, meaning north and south, obvi. Collectively, these two maroons went from Upstate New York to sunny South Florida.  To learn more about senior citizen institutions, dancing the Charleston and how Kelly's mom feels about the beach listen to this week's episode now! Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Donate to giveindia.org for urgent covid relief!

Who is ready for a little COFFEE TALK?! You are? Great! Kelly and Lindsey are currently on a little summer vacation, so please enjoy a special bonus episode from their episode on 'Food Fight the Podcast' talking all things coffee with Kirk Pynchon.  Hearts and Farts,  Kelly and Lindsey Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Donate to giveindia.org for urgent covid relief!

Whoa Nelly! Do we have a show for you? Yes! This week the hosts of 'Side Work Podcast', Brooke Van Poppelen and Andrea Wallace, go head to head and things get feisty AF!  We start our school day off in everyone's least favorite class... you guessed it... MATH! These ladies hated math so much that Brooke actually quit college because she refused to add or subtract and we get it. They make it out alive, despite the torture. During recess we chat about their hilarious and down and dirty 'Side Work' podcast which is all about the ins and outs of the restaurant business. Go ahead and check it out once you're done with this episode, won't you? After recess, we head on over to nuclear class because as it turns out, Brooke was once in a group called WISE: Women in Space and Engineering. Holy moly cannoli! She's a smart one.  And while Brooke was learning about nuclear fission, Andrea was learning about everyone's favorite 80's bad boy, Christian Slater. We do a deep dive into his eyebrows, don't you worry.  Will Brooke kill it with her knowledge of nuclear power plants? Will Andrea know Christian Slater's biggest influence in life? You'll have to listen to find out.  Check out Brooke and Andrea's podcast and podcast network: https://www.instagram.com/sideworkpodcast/ https://www.onestarpodcastnetwork.com/ Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Donate to help a restaurant worker through Restaurants Care: https://restaurantscare.org/    

Who is ready for a pop quiz all about Vaginas, Alaska and Hawaii? Duh, we all are!  Well, if you ever had any questions about your vagina or anyone else's vagina, Lindsey is here to play teacher and show you the ropes. Well, she isn't really going to show you anything, just teach you some things in a completely non-sexual way. It's going to be okay. We promise.  Then Kelly brings back our favorite quiz "Boarding Pass or Fail" where we compare Hawaii and Alaska because, SPOILER: They aren't the same thing. See, there's no such thing as a Baked Hawaii and everything else is pretty much the same. HEYOH!  Enjoy the episode, tell your friends how much you love us and stay safe out there, will ya? Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

Here's the first question of this spectacular episode of FYIS: "How many dating shows has America's Sweetheart, Dave Abed, been on?" First person to get the answer right wins a date with DAVE!!!! WOOOOO. Alright, now that we got that out of the way let's get down to business. We start our school day in Magic Class because David, now an actor and TikTok star, was once a magician and even performed in the circus! Abracadabra! We head from Magic Class to a class called "Chemistry For Stupid Kids" where Lindsey proves to be a stupid kid and Dave, well, does pretty good. In Recess we discuss all of Dave's adventures on reality dating shows where he competed, despite having a girlfriend, because, well...Hollywood. Wait until you hear how many women chose him as their knight in shining armor and then they never heard from each other again. #probablybetterthisway Then we get real with a Cold War quiz because when Dave was younger he had a fascination with the Cold War as most kids do.  We end our school day in Circus Class because we are going off the rails, people. When a guest tells you they performed in a circus, you have to ride the wave aka the elephant, baby!  Will Kelly pull a rabbit out of her hat? Will Dave go home with a new date even though he is happily taken? Will Lindsey know what an atom is? Listen up to find out.    Follow David: https://www.tiktok.com/@davidabed2?lang=en https://www.instagram.com/daveabed/   Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Donate to The Trevor Project - the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning youth. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Ah yes. The woman in the horse. Who is the woman? Who is the horse? Here's the thing. Even though Lindsey learned who the woman was and who the horse was she still doesn't really know who the woman or the horse is SO..... let's all grab some popcorn and listen to this week's episode to learn about the woman, the horse and another unrelated topic: MOSSSSQUITTTTOOESSS.  PLUS - A bonus, totally impromptu butterly exposé! Disclaimer: No women, horses or mosquitoes were harmed in the making of this pop quiz episode of FYIS. (We did kill a butterfly, but he had it coming.)   Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Donate to The Trevor Project - the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning youth. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Happy 4th (actually the 5th) of July, you pretty kitties! We hope last night was filled with love, laughter and the pursuit of happiness or whatever that means.  For this special Independence Day episode we start off our school day chatting about a two very important independent laddddiiieeeeesssss! Alison Bechdel and Kelly's auntie, Liz Wallace. If you haven't heard of the Bechdel test, aka the Bechdel-Wallace test, please listen to this week's episode to educate yo self. If you have heard of the Bechdel test, just know that Kelly's auntie helped come up with the idea and she's an absolute badass, obvi.  Then Lindsey brings us home with a 4th of July quiz that focuses on another Independent woman who is large and in charge... Lady Liberty! Aka Everybody's gal... Aka Green Goddess...and the list goes on and on.  Happy 5th of July. Happy Independent Woman's day. Happy happy, joy joy.    Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Donate to The Trevor Project - the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning youth. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

HAPPY PRIDE to all you beautiful unicorns out there!!!! Because we we've been busy drinking vodka sodas and dancing our FACES OFF this month, we have a mini episode that is so queer you won't even be able to handle it. (BUTT YOU'LL STILL LOVE IT.) Special guests Tim Palazzola and Brad Loekle write quizzes for us and test our knowledge on everything LGBTQ+ including Madonna, Stonewall and butt plugs. We said you couldn't handle it. Unless butt plugs are like, your thing. (It wouldn't really be Pride without at least a little bit of butt stuff, so...you're welcome.) But in all seriousness... to all of our LGBTQ+ friends, family and listeners out there.... We love you. Please know that this world would be a much sadder and duller world without your Courage, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent... what does that spell? Happy Pride, you CUNTS. 

Before we introduce our incredible guest we want to scream HAPPY PRIDE!!!!!!!!! from the rooftops! Don't be a drag, just be a queen, you hear? Speaking of being OUT and PROUD, this week's guest is comedian and toast of the town....Mr. Brad Loekle!!! In honor of his lack of knowledge of numbers and his mom being a smarty CPA, we start our school day off in Home Ec where we play HOT TAX TAKE where Lindsey attempts to make taxes sexy and it's definitely more lukewarm than it is hot. Then we head on over to Art Conservation class where we learn the difference between Renovation, Restoration, Preservation and Conservation and then forget what they all mean and never ever think about it again.  During recess, Brad tells us how he bullied his school to start a theatre program so he could star in a "Little Shop Of Horrors" knock-off called "Little Luncheonette Of Terrors" where he played a lizard person named Mongo. If you aren't stopping everything that you are currently doing to listen to this episode then we don't know what to tell you.  After learning of Mongo the lizard person we head back to class and play "Get Our Kicks with Stevie Nicks" where we test Brad's knowledge in everything Stevie Nicks and it turns out that he knows ALMOST everything about this queen and more.  Then Kelly takes us to History Class where we learn about historic whores of Gay Paris because, well, this episode is gay and full of whores.  Will Brad take the crown? Will Lindsey make it rain? Will Kelly break her losing streak? SHE DOES! SHE DOES! She finally does!    Follow Brad: https://www.instagram.com/bradloekle/ Check out his comedy special Brash Boys Club on iTunes   Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Donate to giveindia.org for urgent covid relief!

What a gag.....it's FLAG DAY! And what flag are we celebrating? COME ON! That one. You know the one we are talking about.  We are celebrating Flag Day with a Pop Quiz about Sweden and Switzerland (it doesn't need to make sense) and then we then bring it on home with a quiz about our grand old flag. We learn the shocking history of this national holiday (it has nothing to do with FDR, don't get excited). We also learn that only Lindsey is really unclear as to what the differences are between those two S countries. Everyone else seems to get it?  What do stars, stripes and Swiss cheese have in common? They are mentioned in this week's episode of FYIS so take a listen to learn more than you ever cared to know about stuff we will forget we taught you tomorrow.   Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Donate to giveindia.org for urgent covid relief!

This week we had the honor of interviewing someone who has STAIRS IN HIS APARTMENT. Can you believe it?! That's right! This week, comedian and musician Morgan Jay went upstairs in his own apartment and recorded from his podcast room and we couldn't be more delighted to be a part of it. The podcast room could actually be downstairs but who is counting? We start our school day off in "Classics Class" where Lindsey attempts to refresh the memory of Morgan Jay, a former Classics minor. The problem is that he doesn't remember most things on the subject which gives Kelly a fighting chance. Come on, Kelly! Then Kelly takes us to Literature class where we play "Banned Book Nook" where we talk about books that have been banned in schools and the salacious ones just make us want to read them more.  In recess we tell some embarrassing stories that will pull at your heartstrings and we get to hear Morgan riff on the keyboard a bit. Spoiler: Autotune shows up and makes a killer appearance. You don't want to miss her.  Then Lindsey takes us over Home Ec where we play "Money Matters" in honor of Morgan's position as school treasurer when he was in high school.  I mean, what CAN'T this guy do?! We end our school day in Student Government because MORGAN JAY WAS ALSO CLASS PRESIDENT HIS FRESHMAN AND SOPHOMORE YEAR AND LIKE, UGH!... We want to hate him but he's actually really cool and we really want to be his friend.  Will Kelly get only 3 sad points? Will Lindsey tell a never-before-heard story about the time she scored drugs for DAVE MATTHEWS BAND? Will Morgan Jay want to be friends with Kelly and Lindsey when this is all over? Listen to find out! Follow Morgan Jay: morganjay.com instagram.com/morganjay https://www.twitch.tv/morganjay Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Donate to giveindia.org for urgent covid relief!

Dear listeners! Happy Memorial Day! SO MANY MEMORIES! So little time. We hope your day is full of beach vibes, hot dogs, reflection and a whole lot of love.  Also, while we are here...have you subscribed to us on YouTube so you can watch us on YouTube Live? No? Well, CLICK HERE to change that, will ya? Won't you? This week we have another pop quiz!!! Woo hoooo! Lindsey recycles a game that we didn't get to do on a past show in honor of another very funny comedy gameshow podcast, 'Go Fact Yourself', hosted by the hilarious Helen Hong.  Then Kelly brings us home with a super cute subject: RARE SYNDROMES! How fun! Look, we only give you the best content here at FYIS. We just want everyone to feel good! Speaking of feeling good, have a GREAT Memorial Day. Be safe. We love you. We think you are great. Tell your friends to listen to us puh puh puh please.    Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Donate to giveindia.org for urgent covid relief!

The bird, bird, bird... Amanda Bird is the word and she is also here on the pod this week talking rescue dogs, new mental illness diagnoses and, of course, birds!  We start our school day off talking famous Bird's. Bird's like the last name Bird, not the animal. By the way, do you know what position Larry Bird played? $5 goes to the first person who emails us with the correct answer! And.. go! Next, Lindsey takes us to Health class where we get down and dirty and talk about everyone's favorite thing to talk about... menstruation! Periods. We are talking periods, people. GET OVER IT.  Then we head on over to recess where we chat about Amanda's incredible workplace, Deity Animal Rescue. If you want to adopt, please check them out and don't forget to adopt, don't shop!  We return to class where Kelly plays teacher for a film class all about cheerleading movies. SPOILER: If you have ANY desire to see any cheerleading movies, skip this section because Kelly reveals the entire synopsis of pretty much every single cheerleading movie ever written or produced.  Then, Lindsey ends our day in ornithology class where we talk about birds. Birds, the animals this time. If you want to know how you can pay a whole lot of money to eat bird saliva, tune in! Tell your friends! Will Amanda know all her Birds, both people and animals? Will Kelly get more than 3 points? Will Lindsey stumble over her words and forget how to use her mouth? YES YES YES!  Find Amanda: https://www.instagram.com/anoisybird/ Her Theater Company: https://www.noisynest.com/ https://www.instagram.com/noisy_nest/ Her Rescue Dogs: https://www.instagram.com/chicken_and_taloo/ Her Dog Rescue: https://www.deitydogsandgoods.com/ https://www.instagram.com/deityanimalrescue/ Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Donate to giveindia.org for urgent covid relief!  

Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It's time for another POP QUIZ, HERE WE GO!!!! What do babies and World War I have in common? Literally nothing but the fact that they are the two subjects we cover in this week's episode of FYIS.  First of all, happy TAX DAY. We love you, we see you, we are here for you and you can lean on us for everything but tax help. You're on your own there, kiddo! It's a dog eat dog world.  We start our school day in Home Ec with a fun game called 'Oh Baby, Baby' where we talk all about babies, all day, baby, baby! Did you know that babies actually cry in the womb!? That's right, folks. It turns out that we've been sad since before the day we were born!  Then Kelly goes down a WWI rabbit hole where we discuss WWI and Franz Ferdinand. The Archduke, not the band. Do you remember why WWI actually started? Shout it out on the count of 3. 1...2.... GOOOOOO.  Listen to this week's episode to learn more about nothing. Also, don't forget to watch this episode and past episodes on our Fuck You, I'm Smarter Youtube Channel.  Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Donate to giveindia.org for urgent covid relief!

This week Kelly and Lindsey sit down with hilarious actor and former bartender of The London West Hollywood, Joe Conti, and talk shop, shoot the shit and all that jazz, ya hear?! Because Joe likes MATHHHH we start our day in a musical theatre math class where Kelly thinks that there was not 1, not 2 but 17 SINGULAR sensations in the musical A Chorus Line. Singular = ONE but she clearly didn't get the memo.  Then Kelly brings us to Humanities class where we discuss real-life superheroes and ask the age-old question, "If you could have any superpower, what would it be?" Well, what would it be? Dibs on having the ability to fly!  At recess we discuss Lindsey and Joe's origin story that involves college auditions, public shaming and one big fish face. Woo-wee! Then Lindsey brings us to Lunch where we nibble on some topics and we create the best 90's school lunch menu of all time. Dunkaroo's anyone? We end our day in Bartending class (just go with it) where Kelly makes us do math in the form of cocktails, heavy pours and drunken morons.  Will Kelly keep pronouncing Celsius "Sell-See-Itch"? Will Lindsey know about bat ears and sonar? Will Joe know how many thingamabobs Ariel had? Duh, we all know that!  Follow Joe's Insta: instagram.com/thejoeconti/ Follow the show's Insta: instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Donate to giveindia.org for urgent covid relief!

Have you ever heard the phrase, "That's a fez only a celebrity could love?" No? Well, that's because we (Lindsey) made it up and it's not really that great of a phrase. I'm trying to make the Fez happen, okay? This week is a special pop quiz episode where Kelly and Lindsey pick a topic to focus on and really do a deep dive. Because of the announcement that Kaitlyn Jenner is going to run for Governor of California, Lindsey does a quiz all about celebrities who take a stab at living in the world of politics. We talk Arnold, Stacey Dash and Al Franken just to name a few.  Kelly decides to focus on the riveting and fascinating world of the Fez. That's right. That weird little hat that Shiners wear. Look. You have to let her do what she wants to do or it becomes a whole thing so just try to support it and understand, okay?  Will Kelly know which star of 'Harold and Kumar go to White Castle' would become an associate director in the White House Office of Public Engagement during the Obama Administration? Will Lindsey know more about the Fez than just the fact that Shiners wear them and they were featured in the musical 'Bye Bye Birdie'? You'll have to listen to find out.  Follow the show's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile Donate to giveindia.org for urgent covid relief!    

Before we talk about our incredible guest, Dug Baker - artist, actor, hot bartender, and all-around-funny-man - we want to issue a little warning. WARNING: THIS EPISODE INCLUDES A HELL OF A LOT OF QAnon talk so hold onto your white hats? Black hats? Hell, just hold onto your hats.  Before we dive into to Q Quiz #1, Kelly takes us to Physics class where Dug proves that he's not just a pretty face but he's actually a genius who understands quantum physics and photons and all that jazz. Lindsey proves she does not know anything about anything.  Then Lindsey takes us to Social Studies where we do a QAnon deep dive and talk breadcrumbs, bakers and Pizzagate. What planet are we living on? Listen to last week's episode to find out. After the first batch of Q talk, we go to recess where Dug tells us a story about a Haiku bit about butterflies that went way too far and resulted in some serious embarrassment.  Then Kelly takes us to Clown Class where we hear about Lindsey's Clown Class in college where she developed Pumpkin Grapes the Clown. Ask her how much her college tuition was next time you see her, will ya? We end our school day back in Social Studies for our Q Quiz #2 where we teach Kelly what WWG1WGA is and learn more about the shit storm before the storm and the Great Awakening. Woof. Life is so depressing. Welp! Will Dug impress us all and take home the crown? We promise you he does and he wears it well.  Check out Dug's insta and art: https://www.instagram.com/jrunkjesus/ Check out his alter ego Zombie Bob Ross: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nne6uSnkNrY Follow the show's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/ Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

Happy Earth Day from Frick and Frack! We start our episode off with hard hitting questions like, "What is your favorite thing about Earth?" and "If you could live on any planet, what planet would you live on?" and "What rhymes with Earth?". WE ARE CHANGING LIVES HERE, PEOPLE!!! Then for no reason at all, we try to figure out the order of the planets and ugh, it's long and painful. Here is a helpful little tool for you next time you try to do the same, because #important. Kelly asked for an acronym, so here we go! My Very Excited Mother Just Served Us Nachos. Start with Mercury and good luck to ya.  Next, Lindsey leads an Earth quiz where we finally  if we would weigh more or less if we were standing on the equator and not on the poles. Then Kelly leads an Earth Day quiz where we learn the origins of this cute little holiday as well as some cute ways to celebrate this year.  Leave us a comment below and let us know how you plan to celebrate Earth Day this year. Stay away from plastics, turn off your AC and lights, eat some veggies and let's boogie!    Donate to The Sunrise Movement: https://www.sunrisemovement.org/donate/ Check out Earth Day: https://www.earthday.org/   Check out our friends' sustainable vintage fashions: https://www.instagram.com/trustfund21vintage/?igshid=142t2a9k1lcim https://www.instagram.com/shop_ome/?igshid=jryvbeahjtou https://www.instagram.com/soledad_de_la_sol/?igshid=1g5bp1jvhffdc https://www.instagram.com/pinkyswearvintagewear/?igshid=1c0pqkiku9tqt   Follow the show's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/   Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl   Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile   BLACK LIVES MATTER RESOURCE CARRD: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

Holy moly cannoli! Do we have a banger for you?! The answer is YES, MOMMA! Speaking of momma's, this week we sit down and play with actor, content creator and mastermind of The New Stepford, Whitney Cicero.  We start our school day in History class where we honor famous mom's throughout history and it gets, well, dark. Look, the truth hurts sometimes, okay? These moms deserve to be highlighted and ya'll need to face the music. Got it? Life is sad but you don't have to be.  Now that we started this game off with a bang... of deep depression, Kelly takes us to Geography where we learn that spoiler: We are NOT smarter than a 5th grader. Womp womp. Not even close. For recess Whitney leads us in a game all about musical theatre which is appropriate since her last name can't be said without singing The Cellblock Tango from Chicago. HE HAD IT COMING! HE HAD IT COMING!  In honor of her blog The New Stepford, which has been featured on The Today Show and has more than 50 million views, we do a deep dive into the original and the remake of the movie The Stepford wives and we promise this game will make you want to revisit and then realize how bad the remake was. Sorry, Bette. It's true. We end our school day in etiquette class where Whitney proves to be classy while Lindsey is still a bit trashy. No surprise there. Will Whitney show the ladies who's boss? Will Kelly rise from her losing streak? Will Lindsey just skate by and land herself perfectly in the middle? Yup. But still give it a listen, will ya?  Check out The New Stepford On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thenewstepford Follow Whitney on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thenewstepford/ Follow the show's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/   Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl   Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

HOLD ONTO YOUR HATS! This week Kelly and Lindsey have a special little POP QUIZ for you!!!! Have we learned anything doing this podcast? Well, listen up to find out.  Believe it or not, we started this podcast so we can learn a thing or two. This week we go back to some past quizzes and do a little reviewski to see what we've retained or if we've retained anything at all.  There's math. There's a slobbering spelling bee. There are stories about pot brownies and more!  Watch FYIS on Youtube: https://youtu.be/4JSohjFDlIY Follow the show's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/   Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM PIRATE STUDIOS, YA'LL!!!!! That's right! This week Kelly and Lindsey sit down at Pirate Studios with return guest and Lindsey's big little sister, Jessica Gentile to talk Florida, lizards and The Jerky Boys.  We start off our school day in Ecology class where we do a deep dive into the scaly, slinky world of lizards because nothing makes Florida girls happier than talking about reptiles all day, every day.  Then Kelly plays teacher in Zoology/Herpetology/Swampology class where we play "All About Alligators". Spoiler: These three know way too much about alligators.  For recess we reminisce about the olden days where we listened to the Jerky Boys and thought it was appropriate. Go ahead and listen now and tell us what you think. Woof.  Then Lindsey takes us to... hmmmm... Weird Florida Laws class? Pre-Law, Florida Style class? FlorLegal class? In this class we discuss the weirdest Florida laws, including what you legally can and can't do while wearing a bathing suit in Florida. We end our school day in Criminology class where we play "Florida Man Mashup". Buckle up for way too many stories about people on meth doing absolutely insane things that involve nunchucks, tasers and Pringles tubes filled with wine. Which Florida girl will take the Gator crown? Listen to find out!  Follow Jessica on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedj Follow Jessica on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/jubileedj Check Out Pirate Studios: https://pirate.com/en/ Watch FYIS on Youtube: https://youtu.be/4JSohjFDlIY Follow the show's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/   Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile

This week we welcome comedian, writer, podcaster and LA native, Anastasia Washington. In honor of her podcast, Cereal Killer, we start our day off in Nutrition class where we learn everything we never wanted to know about cereal. Seriously, if you are still eating this stuff, you should probably stop because, sugar. SO MUCH SUGAR, PEOPLE! Then Kelly lightens the mood in Psychology Class with a serial killer game where we learn that Lindsey knows literally nothing about serial killers and honestly, she'd like to keep it that way. Side note: If you were going to kill someone, we'd love to know how you'd do it. Email us at fyouimsmarter@gmail.com. Don't be afraid to get creative! We then head over to recess where we hear a few embarrassing stories about Anastasia's childhood and teenage years that hurt. No, seriously. She fell down not ONE flight of stairs, but TWO.  Because Anastasia was involved in her school's Newspaper Club, for Newspaper Class, Lindsey breaks down some of the most iconic news headlines of all time. We promise they aren't all depressing. Just most of them are. Oh! And special shout out to baby Jessica in the well if she's listening. How's it going down there? Then, for our last class, Kelly takes us to Film Class where we do a deep dive into Chinese Martial Arts Films and unfortunately, Lindsey knows literally nothing about Chinese Martial Arts or anything really.  Will Lindsey school the ladies with her serious cereal knowledge? Will Kelly kill in the serial killer game? Will Anastasia come off as funny, kind, silly and way smarter than Kelly, Lindsey and Kelly and Lindsey combined? Listen to find out.  Check out Anastasia's One Woman Show March 24th Here: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/whitefiretheatre/482109 Check Out Anastasia Here: https://linktr.ee/anastasiawash Watch FYIS on Youtube: https://youtu.be/4JSohjFDlIY Follow the show's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/   Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile   Show theme provided by Mike Etten: instagram.com/mike_etten/   Here are some great resources to support victims and survivors of Anti-Asian hate crimes and sexual violence: Stop AAPI Hate: https://stopaapihate.org/ AAPI Women Lead: https://www.imreadymovement.org/ Red Canary Song: https://www.redcanarysong.net/ Monsoon Asians and Pacific Islanders in Solidarity:  https://monsooniowa.org/ National Organization of Asians and Pacific Islanders Ending Sexual Violence: https://napiesv.org/ Womankind: https://www.iamwomankind.org/  

It's Spring Break, BITCHES!!!! Grab a Corona, 'cause we're heading to Cancun! Well, not Kelly. Kelly has to stay back and revisit reptiles because she flunked out in last week's episode with Brooks Wheelan. While Kelly redeems herself with a quiz all about reptiles, Lindsey leads a Spring Break quiz that will make you want to take your top off.  Grab a hottie, a strawberry daiquiri and don't forget to use protection. Sunscreen, we mean. It's hot out there. BIG NEWS! We are now LIVE ON YOUTUBE. To check out this week's episode click the link below! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Wc-4AjGY6g Follow the show's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/   Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile   Show theme provided by Mike Etten: instagram.com/mike_etten/

WHOA NELLY! Do we have a show for you? Yes. The answer is yes. There's a show to listen to and it's for you. You're welcome. Today the ladies zoom zoom with everyone's favorite comedian Brooks Wheelan to talk Indiana. No, that's not right. Idaho? Illinois? IOWA! Brooks is from Iowa. DING DING DING! Extra points if you know where Iowa is. Nope. Don't worry, Kelly didn't know either.  Then because Kelly loves mollusks, she wrote in a fun little game called "Oh! My Mollusk!" Or was it ""Mollusks and More!" How about "Mostly Mollusks" or maybe "Thoroughly Modern Mollusks". Yeah, let's stick with that.  Want your mind blown? Don't we all! Rimshot! Gross. Anyway, it turns out that Brooks is a literal genius and before he was on SNL, he had a job as a biomedical engineer, doing research on eyes and heart valves so he really made us WERK when writing these games. Lindsey tries to sound smart with a game all about hearts and eyes called "I Heart You" but even her own questions went over her head so, we tried.  And because Brooks love to camp, we end our school day in camping class (SHUT UP. It's a thing.) where Kelly somehow ties in camping, Yeezus and Kim K and it's, well, it works! We promise.  Will Lindsey or Kelly have a chance in hell at winning this game?! Will Brooks take the lead and then take the crown? Two words: Biomedical Engineer.    Brooks' stuff: https://www.instagram.com/brookswheelan/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avigLRUVvAE https://entrylevelwithbrookswheelan.libsyn.com/   Follow the show's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/   Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile   Show theme provided by Mike Etten: instagram.com/mike_etten/

This week Kelly and Lindsey sit down with dog lover, podcaster and all around woman-about-town, Renee Colvert.    Because Renee is from Colorado, we start our day in Geography where we play everyone's favorite, ''I Have A Question'' where we learn about Quakers, The Garden of the Gods, and Tuberculosis, which all are super sexy. Especially Quakers. Hubba hubba! In honor of Renee's hit podcast, 'Can I Pet Your Dog' we then end up in Social Studies class learning about Presidents and their dogs because everyone loves a good love story, don't they?   Then we hop on over to Recess where we plug Renee's newest podcast, 'My Pandemic Makeover Spectacular,' which is obviously what we all need right now, and we learn about Renee's beguiling fist kiss.     Then, because both Kelly and Renee love to camp and travel alone, we go to Boy Scouts where we meet Scout Leader Carl. Spoiler: Scout Leader Carl is quite possibly the long lost (and maybe Australian?) cousin of the "Ticket or Click It" teacher from past episodes and you can tell because they have the same voice! Whoa.   Inspired by Renee's past life and Lindsey's current life as personal trainers, we then head on over to PE where we play “Jazzercise Through The Ages”. Yes, we promise this game is as fun as it sounds. The only thing more fun would be a group Jazzercise class! Oh! Who is in?! Don't tempt us with a good time.     Will Renee kick Kelly and Lindsey's asses? Probably not because she's super nice but we wouldn't be surprised if she did win the game. Follow Renee: https://www.instagram.com/reneecolvert_/ Follow the show's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/   Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile   Show theme provided by Mike Etten: instagram.com/mike_etten/ BLACK LIVES MATTER RESOURCE CARRD: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

Hi there, friends and favorites! With March right around the corner, we want to make sure we highlight some of the most amazing, inspiring and influential people from this country's history. Happy Black History Month, ya'll!    Full disclosure, we started this podcast because we felt dumb all the time in regards to our Florida education, and nothing makes us feel dumber than doing a deep dive into the history of the Civil Right's Movement. There is much we never learned in school and as adults and we know it's our responsibility to unlearn what we were taught and then learn the truth about the backbone of the country. Thank you, Google.    In this episode Kelly leads a fun quiz all about some incredible black inventors. She even managed to shout out "Hanging Chads." Impressive, indeed. Lindsey looks to an Oprah list and writes a quiz called "Black People We Should Know" and then your two favorite idiots each feature an unbelievable activist who paved the way to help desegregate this country, one boycott at a time.    We hope this episode inspires you to do more research on your own when it comes to black history and our country's history. Check out the links below and don't forget to rate, review, subscribe and tell your friends to listen to FYIS.    Movies To Watch https://www.popsugar.com/entertainment/movies-about-black-joy-48137615   Black Businesses to Support on Etsy https://www.etsy.com/featured/blackownedshops   People You Should Know https://www.oprahmag.com/life/g25954127/african-american-historical-figures/       Follow the show's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/   Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile   Show theme provided by Mike Etten: instagram.com/mike_etten/ BLACK LIVES MATTER RESOURCE CARRD: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

This week Kelly and Lindsey talk presidents, first ladies, Valentine's Day, blood baths and more! First, we do a deep dive on past Commander in Chiefs. We ponder and ask questions like, "Which president makes you the horniest?", "What president was the drunkest?" and "Which president would you kill first?". Well, we didn't actually ask that last question but we kinda wish we did and we definitely know what you'd say. Wink, wink.    Then, we do a Valentine's Day deep dive where we figure out why we are celebrating this stupid holiday, anyway. Shouldn't every day be Valentine's day? Whatever. We hope that your Valentine's Day was filled with love, however you decided to spend it.    Cheers to FDR, Clover Greveland, Obama and Abigail Adams! May your next week be filled with love, Democracy and the pursuit of happiness or something like it.    We love you,    Kelly and Lindsey   Follow the show's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/   Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile   Show theme provided by Mike Etten: instagram.com/mike_etten/ BLACK LIVES MATTER RESOURCE CARRD: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

Happy 69th episode of FYIS!!!!! You know what that means, right? Today, we are going to land on the moon again! We will let you know how it goes.    Anywho, this week we introduce another Kelly into the mix! ARE YOU READY FOR THIS KELLY PARTAY!?!? Kelly and Lindsey sit down with Kelly 'Killy' Dwyer and chat literature, pageants, and dog birthday parties! Hire her for your pup's next birthday party! Your doggo will not be disappointed.   We start the day off in Social Studies class where we learn what Social Studies even is, and that Australia may have had (definitely did not) a little-known (because it's not true) connection to the Louisiana Purchase!   Then, because Killy mentioned that she participated in pageants when she was younger, Lindsey wrote a game (for what class, who even knows) about pageants. In real time she is informed that Killy meant Christmas pageants which Lindsey knows nothing about because she's Jewish, so...oh well! Let's learn about beauty pageants!   At Recess we talk about Killy's songwriting passion that she turned into a business, and play the incredible ditty Lindsey commissioned Killy to write about Kelly for her birthday! There are mimes involved. We don't explain why, but we promise one  day we will bring back those damn mimes.   Then Kelly takes us to Dance class and shows off her "primitive squat" in honor of Killy's love of modern dance, and Lindsey rounds out the day with Literature class where we play a game called, "That's Litttttttttttttt". Please use a ton of vocal fry when you say that, thank you.    Will the ladies drink a bunch of "GoGo Juice" to hype themselves up? Will they remember anything about Dante's Inferno? Will a Kelly win the game? If you were good at math you'd know that there is better chance that a Kelly will win than a Lindsey will win, so we say to set your bets on the Kelly's. MATH!    Rate, review, subscribe and 69999999 baby!    Find Killy:  https://www.instagram.com/killymockstar/ https://www.instagram.com/doggotainment/ https://www.patreon.com/killythekid   Follow the show's Insta: https://www.instagram.com/kellyandlindsey/   Follow Kelly: instagram.com/kelly_wallacebarnowl Follow Lindsey: instagram.com/lindseygentile   Show theme provided by Mike Etten: instagram.com/mike_etten/ BLACK LIVES MATTER RESOURCE CARRD: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/