Camp Wild Heart

When parents bring their kids to see us at Wildheart Society, sometimes they show up scared. Scared of what this means for their kid, of what it means for their relationship, and underneath it, really they're afraid of change.Most people have a hard time with change; so I get it. But what I like to remind parents is that their child has chosen to invite them in as they are living as their most authentic self. They didn't have to share this with their parents because they are their own autonomous humans, which sometimes we forget as parents.And I also want parents to know that gender affirming care can not only radically change their child's life in all the best ways, but it can bring parents and families closer.My guests today are parents Jennifer and Jeff, and their story is an amazing illustration of how supporting their son, Ben, in being his authentic self became a bonding experience for their whole family.Check out the full episode to hear about:What surprised Jennifer and Jeff as expectations met reality after their son came out as transWhy it was key that they held onto a holistic view of their trans, neurodivergent teenagerHow having a trans child forced Jennifer and Jeff to confront their privilege and navigate new fears for Ben's safety and wellbeingHow parenting Ben has made Jennifer and Jess more patient, more curious, and better communicatorsWhy not having access to gender affirming care would not only have harmed Ben, but taken a toll on their marriage and their whole familyHow gender affirming care gave Ben the confidence to join the rowing team, and what all kids can gain from being able to participate in sportsWhy parents of trans kids need safe spaces of their own to ask questionsFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Wild Heart Society Merch!Donate to the Queer Community Network

In today's episode, we have a parent story from mom, Shannon. Shannon comes from conservative roots and is mom to three boys and a trans daughter. Our conversation follows her journey of doing her own healing work so that she could be the kind of mom she really wanted and needed to be for her daughter.I'm so grateful she agreed to share her story with us about how important it is to be brave and how critical your work as parents is to supporting your kids.Check out the full episode to hear about:How Shannon's daughter challenged her identity as a “boy mom” from an early ageHow accepting that she didn't need to understand why her daughter was trans, just that she is, changed the gameHow Shannon's trauma around what it means to be a girl impacted her daughter as she transitionedThe difficult choices Shannon made to give herself space to heal and how they affected her relationship with her daughterWhy Shannon needed to learn self-compassion and generosity in order to repair her relationship with her kidFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Wild Heart Society Merch!Donate to the Queer Community Network

So many of us are trying so hard to protect our kids from failure of any kind.Getting it wrong and having regrets is scary! Of course we want to protect our kids from that. But really, when we hover over their homework or swoop in with a plan to fix it when they're struggling, we're protecting ourselves from our anxieties about being a good enough parent.There's kind of no better time to fail than when you're a kid. The stakes are still pretty low. When kids learn how to struggle and get it wrong and fail, it strengthens their ability to move through hard things and builds resilience.To talk more about how we can support our kids through failure, I reached out to Jessica Lahey, who wrote a book that I often refer to in my work called The Gift of Failure. Her book has really shaped the way I view failure and how I encourage others to view failure and Jessica also happens to be the parent of a trans kid, so we'll talk about that experience as well.Check out the full episode to hear about:Why we need to allow kids to get frustrated with tasksWhy adults need to model trying new things and making mistakesHow to give kids opportunities to learn life skills, even when it would be easier for you to just do itHow Jessica's natural openness has been challenged around her much more private daughter's transitionHow Jessica and her family are leaning on their supports and doing work that matters to them in the face of our current climateHow Jessica weighs sharing her pride of her daughter with concerns for her privacy and safetyFind out more about Jessica Lahey:WebsiteNewsletterThe Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can SucceedFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Register for CampDonate to the Queer Community NetworkDifferently Wired: A Parent's Guide to Raising an Atypical Child with Confidence and Hope, Deborah ReberThe Trevor ProjectBe My EyesStand In Pride

Recently, a friend invited me to a comedy show and as we watched the set, I was delighted to find that the performer and I had a bunch of similarities.Camp-themed show? Check. Preacher's kid? Check. Raising money for queer youth? Check. We even look kind of similar, if you don't count that she's a foot taller than I am.I had to take a shot at the merch table. Lucky for me, along with being tremendously funny, she's also incredibly supportive and generous and agreed to come on the show.So today, I'm talking with the one and only Kristin Key. And while Kristin isn't trans or nonbinary, she does share the all-too-common experience of religious trauma in the queer community and she shares how her family's faith impacted her coming out and her relationship with them. We also chat about neurodivergent quirks, swap some of our favorite camp memories, and the wild connection between me, Kristin, and Brandi Carlisle.Check out the full episode to hear about:How being turned away from church camp and her community there compounded Kristin's traumatic coming outHow being around visibly queer adults helped Kristin see what might be possible in her futureWhy every kid deserves to experience the magic of camp where they get to be their whole selfWhat Kristin would want her younger self to know about coming out and survivingKristin's advice for parents of queer kids Find out more about Kristin Key:WebsiteInstagram: @thekristinkeyTikTok: @kristinkeycomedyFacebook: @kristinkeycomedyYouTube: @kristinkeycomedyKristin Knows Blank PodcastFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramMack on TikTokResources:Register for CampDonate to the Queer Community NetworkWild Heart Society MerchThe Brain Candy Podcast

You may be aware that there is a significant overlap between neurodivergence and transness. So today, I'm talking with a guest who is both an expert in neurodivergence–and he's autistic himself–and a parent of queer and trans children.Sol Smith is a social media creator and author of the book The Autistic's Guide to Self-Discovery: Flourishing as a Neurodivergent Adult. Much of his work focuses on neurodivergent adults who may have received a diagnosis or self-realized later in life and helping them figure out what it means to be neurodivergent and understand why their lives may have been a lot different than what they were told they should be.Today we'll be chatting about the overlap of neurodivergence and transness in our kids, and also how–because neurodivergence is genetic–when I tell a parent that I think their kid might be neurodivergent, I might also be telling them, hey, you might be too. So if you've got a trans kid and you've ever had an inkling that maybe you don't experience the world the way other people do, this episode might be for you.Check out the full episode to hear about:How pandemic shutdowns created space for Sol and his family to make big realizations about their identitiesWhy unpacking his history through an autistic lens helped make sense of his past, but not without griefHow the social environment impacts individual expressions of autism and who gets diagnosed in childhood versus adulthoodHow strong family inheritance of autistic traits can lead to denial and second-guessingHow neurodivergence, transness, and strength of socialization overlapBreaking down some key ways that autistic people differ from their neurotypical peersFind out more about Sol Smith:Neurospicy CommunityInstagram: @theprofessorsolTikTok: @better_solThe Autistic's Guide to Self-Discovery: Flourishing as a Neurodivergent AdultFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Register for CampDonate to the Queer Community Network

There is so much misinformation about trans people out there, and a lot of the kids and families I work with have people in their lives who simply do not understand what these kids are going through.But I don't think anyone is a lost cause. Almost everyone is capable of learning and growing.I reached out to today's guests because I wanted to discuss the experience of having a transgender kid while being in a conservative family. I met Amanda and Tom, and their daughter Ella, in 2021 when Amanda contacted me after listening to the podcast. They are upper-class, white, and live in conservative rural Oregon.They have wholeheartedly committed to educating themselves and supporting their daughter through her transition, strengthening their family in the process. They circled the wagons and did the work so that their kid could thrive.Content note: brief, non-detailed mention of suicidal ideation.Check out the full episode to hear about:How Amanda and Tom realized they were at a point where they needed to learn and evolve to support EllaHow Tom's relationship with Ella got a new beginning as a result of her transitionHow Amanda and Tom drew a hard line in the sand on family acceptanceHow having a trans child has impacted their politicsWhy it's so important to show up visibly and publicly supporting trans peopleFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Register for CampDonate to the Queer Community NetworkDisclosure

Today, we're catching up with my friend, and friend of the podcast, Flint Del Sol.Last time Flint was here, his life looked very different than it does today. He was mid-transition, using they/them pronouns, had just started testosterone, and was still teaching. Since then, he's come out, transitioned in public on his social media profiles, survived doxxings, and received bomb threats at the school where he taught.It's been a lot.He chose to leave teaching and move to the desert with his husband for a while, and they've just recently sold their belongings and moved into an airstream with a plan to travel around the country to meet other trans people and gather stories and information to capture the trans experience in the US at this especially challenging and frightening time. And somehow in all of that, Flint also wrote a book called Teach Like an Ally that comes out on July 29, 2025. This book was written for educators who are struggling in environments where they can't openly state their allyship, can't fly rainbow flags, or can't teach or even have queer books in their classrooms. Even if you're not a teacher, this book will help you be a better ally to the queer kids in your life.Every time I talk to Flint, the conversation tends to go off in a million different directions, but it always ends up someplace super nerdy, and someplace deeply emotional. This one is no different. I hope you leave feeling as inspired and ready to do better work as I did.Check out the full episode to hear about:How having survived blowing up his own life before has shaped Flint's relationship to changeHow genuine curiosity and judgment get confused in ourselves and othersWhy it's totally normal to be at reduced capacity right now, and some ideas to help sustain youWhy even in an unfair, unjust world, it's worth continuing to fight for justiceHow deadlines, outlines, and leaning into his unique voice got Flint to the final draftWhy kids need access to an understanding of queer existence that is not fueled by negativity and hateHow making art is an essential part of how Flint processes events and feelingsFind out more about Flint Del Sol:Instagram: @justflintisfineTikTok: @justflintisfineTeach Like an Ally: An Educator's Guide to Nurturing LGBTQ+ StudentsFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Register for CampDonate to the Queer Community NetworkWild Heart Society MerchSeason 04 Ep 03: Fear vs. Curiosity: Being Alive and Trans with Flint, Just Flint Part 1Season 04 Ep 04: Fear vs. Curiosity: Being Alive and Trans with Flint, Just Flint Part 2"Untitled" (Portrait of Ross in L.A.), Félix González-TorresThe Smithsonian's queer erasure of an AIDS artwork should alarm us allGood Bones, Maggie Smith

We're back! To kick off this new season, I invited back the last person I had on the show before my break.Mitch joins me again to share what the last couple of years have been like as his family adjusted to their move to Washington from Texas in support of their trans daughter. We talked about the difficult transition they experienced, having left behind a strong community ties because he feared for his daughter's safety, and we talked about what it's been like to be an advocate for his daughter and trans youth in both Texas and now here in Washington. We also talked about the beauty of curiosity, ways we can show up for our kids, and how he's grown as a parent and as a person through this experience.Check out the full episode to hear about:How Mitch and his family have decompressed and settled into their new livesWhy inspiring curiosity is the first step in encouraging critical thinkingWhy we all need to learn to sit with the discomfort of boredomWhy it's so important for parents of trans kids to tell their stories, in small and large waysFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Register for Camp Wild Heart 2025Season 04 Ep 12: Joyful Resistance: One Dad's Call to ActionAre Killer Whales Misunderstood? with Dr. Deborah Giles - Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness

Hello, friends. Have you missed me?After a longer than originally intended break from this podcast, I am back and I am ready.The world is scary right now and I want to show up here to support the Wild Heart community. I'm always thrilled to get to be a part of your journey in whatever way I have been.We have a great season coming up for you. You're going to hear from some old and new friends of the podcast, some listeners, and lots of families. I heard you loud and clear that what is often most helpful to you all is hearing from each other, and I think that is beautiful.We need each other more than ever. I'm so glad to be back and I'm so glad you're here.Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

We've talked before about voting for your kid, and the rafts of legislation that are directed at taking away rights from trans people and trans kids. Even here in the Pacific Northwest, kids and their families are scared.As of  recording on August 15th, 2023, there were 358 active pieces of anti-trans legislation in 49 states. That doesn't include the 80 bills that were already passed, and it doesn't include the 128 bills failed. This isn't going to stop anytime soon. Today, we'll hear from a dad, Mitch, who moved his family from Texas to Washington to escape the oppressive legislation passed there. You'll also hear about Mitch's activism on behalf of his trans daughter and gay son, from school board meetings to testifying at the Texas state house, and the impact it had on him, his marriage, and his kids. And he talks about being in the messy middle of transitioning to a new home while missing their friends, colleagues, and many of the things they loved about their lives in Texas.Check out the full episode to hear about:The grief of leaving behind their lives, colleagues, friends, and community and starting overWhy Mitch chose to focus on “joyful resistance” in his approach to activismThe sometimes surprising support and affirmation Mitch's daughter received in her Texas schoolWhat Mitch learned from his students about affirming, loving, and supporting his daughter when she came outThe impact of Mitch's commitment to advocacy on his mental health and his relationshipsWhy Mitch says it's vital for dads of trans kids to get involvedThe final straws that made it clear the family had to leave TexasFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Season 01 Ep 05: Suicide Prevention: Facing Our Fear Of The Dark

So often when I talk to parents about their children's decision or request to transition, parents express concern that their child will regret their decision, and that their child's regret will come back on them as parents. In fact, I've worked with a number of parents who have said, “They can do whatever they want when they're 18, but I'm not going to be responsible for any regrets that they have later.”I've always translated this as a fear response. And I get it. There are a lot of unknowns and a lot of uncertainty, and nobody wants to screw up their kid or make their future not what they hoped it would be.Today we're going to hear the story of a trans woman who didn't transition when they were young, even though they knew that's what they wanted and needed. She's going to share the story of the life that she has lived struggling with who she is and how to be in the world.Her name is Randi, and she's a white, middle-aged trans woman. She's married, she has kids.Randi asked me if she could share her story with you all because she wanted you to know the other side of the story for trans folks who can't transition, or choose to wait until they're adults to do so, and what regret means to her.Check out the full episode to hear about:How Randi knew from a very young age that she was different–and that she had to hide her differencesThe experience of social and emotional isolation that resulted from not being able to be herselfWhy Randi turned to hypermasculine expression in the wake of realizing that she was transHow suppressing her identity impacted Randi emotionally, in her relationships, and even economicallyHow Randi finally came out to her wife and her familyHow Randi's pastor and faith community have provided support as she transitionsRandi's advice for parents of trans kidsFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, Daniel H. Pink

Transphobia is all around us, and often inside us. As parents, we face it in everyday conversations with colleagues, family members, and friends. Our kids face it in school from peers, teachers, and friends.Over the years, the biggest concern I hear about raising a transgender child isn't about the medical stuff, it's fears about the way the world will treat that child. We know it's not all going to be nice. We know that our kids will face bullies and bigots. And I've heard from some of you that you want to fight back. So much of the anti-bullying policy and training in our school systems teaches kids to ignore it or walk away and find an adult. And it doesn't actually teach kids to extinguish bullying behavior or give parents tools to help.So what do we do?Today, I brought in an expert in communications with a specific focus on anti-bullying awareness. She's going to share some tools that are actually effective in helping kids stop bullying and hold on to their own power through a technique of using neutral responses.We're going to dig into what that means, why it makes sense and is effective, and how teaching kids to keep their power can spill over positively into other parts of their lives.Jamie Hamilton is a communications professor who knows that communication is the magic with which all relationships are created and destroyed. Jamie's passion is to teach people how to communicate in ways that enhance the areas of their life that matter most.With over twenty years of experience, Jamie has garnered an academic platform of excellence in higher education and is the founder of The Comm Experts, a communications consulting and coaching firm.Check out the full episode to hear about:The difference between one-up, one-down, and neutral responses and how they influence power dynamics with bulliesWhy just ignoring it and walking away doesn't workHow responding neutrally and factually builds confidenceWhy role-playing and practicing these responses with your kids is absolutely keyWhy it's essential that kids have affirming, trustworthy adults in their lives when they're experiencing bullyingHow parents can use communications tools to respond to difficult comments from other adultsWhy the block button is the most effective tool for online bullyingFind out more about Jamie Hamilton:The Comm ExpertsTikTok: @the_communication_expertFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramTikTok: @realgendertherapist

Remember that time before you were a parent and you thought you at least had some clue what you were getting into and that you'd be good at it?I know I did. I knew it wasn't all snuggles and giggles and that it would be a lot of hard work, but caring for others is part of my wiring.Of course, none of us are really prepared for what waits for us in parenthood. Even after you've had your first kid, you can get thrown for a loop on the second, third, and so on because every kid is different and you're different too.When we sign up to be parents, we don't get to choose the kids we're going to raise. We don't know what personality traits they're going to have or what genetic anomalies will unfold. We get hit with all kinds of unexpected adventures and challenges, and nobody handed us a manual for our kids.Today's episode is a parent story. We'll hear from Mama Bear, Catherine, about how she and her family navigated her child's coming out and transition, and how different her experience has been as a parent from one kiddo to the next.Check out the full episode to hear about:The challenges of having a younger trans child who can't fully express what they're feelingWhy Catherine says that aiming for gender neutral parenting may have actually caused her to miss some early signals from her childHow parenting a trans child adds an extra layer of vulnerability to being a parentHow raising a trans kiddo challenged Catherine's sense of herself as an allyHow Catherine set difficult boundaries with family members to protect her kiddoFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

“How do we know this is about gender and not body image? Doesn't everyone feel uncomfortable in their body at that age?”I get these questions from parents all the time. And my answer is this: body image is about being dissatisfied with how we look along with unobtainable beauty standards. Body dysphoria is about the cues their body sends to the world about how to interact with and treat them, how that doesn't align with how they feel, and how it can make them feel invisible.It's similar, but also very, very different.Struggles with body image and with body dysphoria can lead cis and trans kids to patterns of disordered eating and disconnection from their bodies. Eating disorders are prevalent in the trans community because they are often a coping mechanism for the stress and stigma of being trans. Which is why I wanted to talk to today's guests, who are experts in eating disorders and whose treatment model, centered on trusting and coming home to the body, is so different from standard treatment modalities.Dana Sturtevant helps people let go of chronic patterns of dieting and disordered eating and move ​​into a more authentic, sustainable way to occupy and nurture their bodies. She advocates for food and body sovereignty as a nutrition therapist, educator, speaker, writer, and activist.Hilary Kinavey works with people to reckon with the vicious cycles of disordered eating and dieting, body shame and weight bias, and the fragmentation, oppression, and trauma that often sits at the center. As a licensed professional counselor, facilitator, educator, and coach, she sees that we have been separated from our embodied knowing of our value and wholeness.Together they founded the Center for Body Trust and co-authored the book Reclaiming Body Trust: a Path to Healing and Liberation.Check out the full episode to hear about:Why parents need to do their own work around rebuilding body trustHow to bring awareness and choice to body checking and comparison behaviorsHow our cultural beauty standards–for cis and trans people–are tied to white supremacySuggestions for supporting kids and framing the conversation when they're exposed to toxic body image messagesThree phases of repairing body trustWhy gender affirmation has to be the first step in building body trustFind out more about Dana Sturtevant and Hilary Kinavey:Center for Body TrustReclaiming Body Trust: A Path to Healing & LiberationFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Caleb LunaSand ChangFearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia, Sabrina StringsDesiree AdawayRagen ChastainGloria LucasMaintenance Phase

Every single one of us has a body.People are complex and our bodies are no different.Some of us feel at home in our bodies, while others of us do not, and it's not always because of gender.Difficult emotions can play a significant role in this disconnect, as well as trauma and its impact on the body. And having a disability, disease, or other condition can further strain the connection with the body.But for many trans people, their transness is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what makes them and their bodies so different. Today we're diving into a crucial topic that affects the health and wellbeing of transgender individuals.It's no secret that members of the LGBTQ+ community face unique health challenges, though there's no definitive data or research correlating any of these issues with transness. They're simply conditions that we commonly see in the same patients.Which is why I wanted to talk to someone who has experience and expertise in treating patients with a lot of these co-occuring conditions that can make it harder for trans individuals to connect with their bodies.Today we're digging into the relationship of neurodivergence and transness and how it impacts the body and how holding a marginalized identity or identities literally shapes the body.Dr. Sam Zoranovich is a chiropractor who specializes in providing care to the LGBTQ+ and BIPOC communities. Their own experiences with chronic pain, multiple surgeries, and feeling broken and betrayed by their body inform their practice and how they help people go from managing symptoms to thriving in their lives.Check out the full episode to hear about:How the siloing of traditional medical specialists impacts diagnosis, treatment, and healingWhy neurodivergence and how the brain processes stimulation can have such profound physical impactsThe overlap of neurodivergence, digestive issues, hypermobility disorders, skin complaints, and moreHow neurodivergence and trauma impact the body's fight or flight response and what happens when it gets stuckFind out more about Dr. Sam Zoranovich:Zoranovich ChiropracticTikTok: @doctorsamz Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:TikTok: The overlap of queerness and neurodivergenceTikTok: Dr. Sam's Reply to MackDisjointed Navigating the Diagnosis and Management of Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and Hypermobility Spectrum Disorders30 Essential Ideas you should know about ADHD, Dr. Russell Barkley

Toxic masculinity is more than a buzzword.Toxic masculinity is part of the gender training we receive starting in childhood, where we learn the rules about how to be a man or a lady. Man up. Boys don't cry. And it hurts all of us.Toxic masculinity is a narrow and repressive description of manhood and frankly, I'm surprised more men aren't pissed about it.What does that have to do with raising a transgender child?Toxic masculinity can manifest in many ways and have a profound impact on your children. It can show up in the ways we talk to our kids, the expectations we place on them, and the way parents and kids perceive gender and gender identity. And it can lead to feelings of shame and internalized transphobia.Which is why today I'm talking with Rocco Kayiatos about toxic masculinity, how it shows up and impacts our children, what we can do to reeducate ourselves and our children about what it means to be a man, and how embrace mindful masculinity.Rocco Kayiatos is a musician, poet, actor, and activist. His work centers around gender identity, queer liberation, and social justice. Rocco's artistry and activism have gained national attention and made him a leading voice in the transgender community. He has brought his powerful message to stages across the country and uses his platform to inspire and empower others to embrace their true selves.Check out the full episode to hear about:Rocco's evolution as a performer, publisher, and activist and why it's so important to create inclusive spaces and model possibilityHow Rocco went about uprooting his own toxic ideas about masculinity and let go of being a “man-hating man”Why Rocco says the goal should be to expand our definitions of gender, identity, and expression with compassionHow cultural assumptions about what it means to be a man can make trans men shy away from claiming their full identity as menHow a rejection of perceived femininity can lead to expressions of toxic masculinity in trans boysHow parents can start interrogating how toxic masculinity shows up for them and expand their ideas about genderFind out more about Rocco Kayiatos:Instagram: @roccokatastropheConnect with Rocco on LinkedInFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Mindful Masculinity WorkbookSummer 365

There are so many things about our lives that are gendered.And some of those things are a lot more important and hold more cultural significance than we realize–that is until we have kid who comes out as trans, and then all of that privilege you had and all the mental energy you didn't have to spend on thinking about all the ways in which the world wasn't set up for your transgender kid is gone.  Now, I should be clear, when I say “we”  I'm talking about cisgender, heterosexual, white people. People of color, which I am not, have a lot more awareness about the ways in which the white Western world was not built or designed for them. One of the most common conversations I have with white parents of trans kids, usually pretty early on and always because they bring it up, is about their awareness of exactly how much privilege they have, and also how much it sucks to lose it. Today we're talking with Erica Courdae about culture, hair, privilege, gender and race. Erica is the host of the podcast Pause on the Play® and has built an exceptional community of listeners who are showing up and exploring ways to make their values more explicit at work and at home. She has curated connections and learning experiences that will help anyone challenge harmful norms, show up as an imperfect ally®, and live in alignment.Check out the full episode to hear about:How Erica's experience in the beauty industry informs how she helps people investigate cultural norms and show up as themselvesHow having a trans child exposes the fragility of the norms and assumptions parents holdWhy it's so critical for parents to do their own self-work of acceptance and questioning apart from their kidsWhy parents need to be able to admit they were wrong and apologize to their childrenWhy neutrality is not an optionFind out more about Erica Courdae:Pause on the Play®The Pause on the Play® CommunityInstagram: @pauseontheplay Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

Get ready for part two of my conversation with Flint. If you haven't listened to part one, hit pause and give it a listen, then come back for part two.In this episode, we're continuing our conversation about creating a safe and supportive space for trans kids, and the trans adults they need in their lives to show them that they will be fine, and that what they are experiencing is normal.Flint is an English teacher in Southern California. They are white, use they/them pronouns, are vegan, married to an artist, and are nonbinary. They are the kind of person who really goes out of their way to make sure that students, colleagues, and friends are valued and appreciated.  They play and coach roller derby, and have cultivated a large social media following on multiple platforms simply by sharing their genuine and authentic experiences as a trans teacher. Check out the full episode to hear about:How Flint found a community of trans teachers online and grappled with coming out at school post-remote schoolingHow Flint leads with questions to defuse conflict within the community, and why it's important to know when to end the conversationReflecting on Flint's gender journey and why it's never too late to claim your identityWhy kids need to see a diversity of experiences of gender and sexualityWhy you need to create an environment where it's safe to ask questions and talk about hard thingsWhy we need to untangle gender and sexualityFind out more about Flint:Instagram: @justflintisfineTikTok: @justflintisfineTwo Trans Teachers PodcastFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

We have all heard and experienced how different school is now from when we were kids. It's a whole different world. And while I could easily be referring to school policies and the way that kids are taught math - I'm not. I'm referring to the social universe and obstacle course that kids navigate day in and day out. And one of the hardest things about that change is that it doesn't really end when the bell rings. It continues on social media and smartphones. Kids don't really get a natural break from it. They need your help to find balance, but also to help them navigate a world that you didn't ever really know.Today we're talking to a teacher named Flint about what kids are really facing in schools, how to support them while they're trying to get their education, and how to communicate with teachers to help them understand the unique needs of your student.  Flint is an English teacher in Southern California. They are white, use they/them pronouns, are vegan, married to an artist, and are nonbinary. They are the kind of person who really goes out of their way to make sure that students, colleagues, and friends are valued and appreciated.  They play and coach roller derby, and have cultivated a large social media following on multiple platforms simply by sharing their genuine and authentic experiences as a trans teacher. Check out the full episode to hear about:Why parents need to let their kids shove them out of their boxesTips for keeping your kid from shutting down in conversationHow leading with curiosity improves your relationships and makes you a better advocate for your childWhy parents and teachers need to do their own work to educate themselves on LGBTQIA+ issuesFind out more about Flint:Instagram: @justflintisfineTikTok: @justflintisfineTwo Trans Teachers PodcastFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

You never know how people are gonna react to your child's coming out and socially transitioning.I wish there was a clear indicator that I could give you that says, these are the ones who will support you, and these are the ones who are going to get spooked and do really ugly things. If that thing exists, I haven't discovered it yet.I've seen families who are progressive and open-minded about others get completely closed off to the idea that something like this could be happening with their child. I've also seen people who go to church every Sunday read the Bible, own a lot of guns, who absolutely get it and show up for their kids in some very beautiful ways.Everyone responds differently.Today's episode is a parent story.We'll hear from Mama Bear Kate about how she and her family went about supporting her trans child, Rachel, without a map, navigating the seas of judgment as they began to socially transition.Kate is white, middle class and married to a cisgender man. She has two children and lives in the Pacific Northwest. Kate's also a writer, and she recently shared this story in the Huffington Post.  In this episode, Kate opens up about her experience as a parent of a transgender child. She talks about the challenges she faced in accepting her child's gender and the journey toward embracing it fully. She also shares how she educated herself on trans issues and how she navigated religious and cultural barriers, and how she showed up to support her child through the ups and downs. Check out the full episode to hear about:How a school form started the process of Rachel's coming out as nonbinaryHow Kate and the family navigated questions about Rachel's identity being a phase, and a rough year in first grade as he began his social transitionHow Kate and her husband intentionally worked to create a culture of openness to tough questions in their householdHow Kate's process of educating herself about trans issues quieted the voice in her head yelling that Rachel's desire to transition was an emergencyFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Our 6-Year-Old Wanted To Use 'They/Them' Pronouns. We Had No Idea What We Were In For.

I think we've all been in that place with our kids where they are clearly going through something big - something with friends, something with sex, mental health, transness, something that makes your parent heart go “Oh god - I need more information about this so I can help and protect and make sure that nothing bad happens to them.” So you put out the bid for connection and try to engage in the conversation and your kid gives you NOTHING. They stare blankly at you, they say “I don't want to talk about it,” or “I dunno.” And you get emotionally snared and the harder you push, the less they want to talk to you.Sound familiar? In this episode, I'm talking with Flyn Alexander about ways to talk with trans kids who may be hesitant or uncomfortable discussing sensitive topics, such as their transition. Flyn Alexander is a clinical social worker who specializes in working with transgender individuals and their families. He graduated from Michigan State with his MSW. Flyn uses he and they pronouns and is an out and proud trans man.When Flyn approached me about working at Wild Heart Society, I was like “I really don't have room to take on more people” but after spending 20 minutes with him I was like “I”m gonna figure out how to do this because this guy is flipping awesome.” His energy is contagious. He is courageous, calm, funny, joyful, introspective, and a changemaker. I'm so thrilled he is on our team, and I'm so excited to share this conversation with you. Check out the full episode to hear about:Why asking your kid a lot of questions can make them clam up so hardWhy you have to separate the narrative of your kiddo's life that's in your head from the truth about themselves that they're telling youWhy parents should investigate their own gender journeys and how gender and other complicated conversations are handled at homeStrategies and key reminders for approaching conversations about gender with your childFind out more about Flyn Alexander:Wild Heart Society BioFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

When I was a kid, nobody talked to me at all about queer people, except maybe to tell me that they were sinful and going to hell. I don't think I really even started to learn about queerness in any way other than the negative until I was in high school. And even then, it wasn't exactly what I would call affirming. And I know my experience isn't uncommon.Times have really changed when it comes to the acceptance of the queer community by the dominant cishet society that we live in in the U.S. and it has opened to door to having conversations with kids about queerness and gender much earlier and in a much more positive way.The problem is because so few of us parents had a positive introduction to this, there are lots of questions about when and how to start these conversations with our kids.We need resources for talking to kids about queerness.And that's where today's guest comes in.Lindz Amer (they/them) is the founder and CEO of Queer Kids Creative, a digital entertainment company spreading queer joy and queer-focused intersectional, all-ages media. They wrote, produced, and co-hosted Queer Kid Stuff, an original LGBTQ+ educational web series for ages three and up, for four season and over 50 episodes. They continue to perform QKS music and stories at schools, museums, libraries, and local LGBTQ+ centers all over the country.They also produce and host a family-friendly podcast called Activist You, where they explore social justice topics through interviews with kids and youth activists. And they just launched a new podcast called Rainbow Parenting.Their work has been featured by Good Morning America, Kids Screen, NBC Out, Teen Vogue, Shondaland, and Parents Magazine, among others, and their TED Talk, Why Kids Need to Learn About Gender and Sexuality, has been viewed almost 3 million times.Check out the full episode to hear about:How Queer Kid Stuff evolved as a way to meet kids where they already were with “queer theory meets Mr. Rogers”Lindz's practical and emotional advice for helping your kiddo navigate social mediaWhy Lindz is making parent and adult-focused content that helps them create affirming environments for their kidsWhy every human needs an education on gender and sexualityFind our more about Lindz Amer:Queer Kid StuffActivist You PodcastRainbow Parenting PodcastInstagram: @lindzamerTwitter: @lindzamerTED Talk: Why Kids Need to Learn About Gender and SexualityPreorder Rainbow Parenting: Your Guide to Raising Queer Kids and Their AlliesSubscribe to the Queer Kid Stuff NewsletterFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

Coming out is an age old tradition for queer kids. Some even think of it as a right of passage.But what we don't really consider is how emotionally taxing it is for the person doing the coming out. What we don't realize is that by even having this cultural set up, we're creating a world where our kids are othered. Wouldn't it be lovely if we didn't have to come out and we could just be ourselves without having to explain our identity to anyone?I realize that the world is far from this utopia I imagine. But it's not as far away as we were when I was a kid. A world where they don't have to come out, and just get to be is coming.But that day is not today. And as you navigate the coming out process it is sure to bring up lots of questions. So to help us in this conversation, I've asked my good friend and co-counselor, Jess Guerriero to join us. Jess Guerriero always wanted to be a Boy Scout and comes prepared as your guest counselor to journey through all of the adventures and self-discovery at Camp Wild Heart. Though afraid of the dark, they are not afraid to go to dark places with young people and their families to find some hope and reasons for staying alive. When not at Camp Wild Heart, they utilize their training in social work and their nerdy gender studies degree to help gender expansive youth and adults navigate exploring their identities and identifying ways to feel affirmed. They also bring their fierce and tender heart into parenting their five-year-old and loving on the various members of their relationship constellation. They come to Camp Wild Heart with almost 14 years of experience working with youth and families.Check out the full episode to hear about:Questions for parents and kiddos to consider when deciding when, how, and to whom to come outHow well-meaning family members can unintentionally disrupt and stunt their relationshipsThe impact of your language and framing when making an announcement on behalf of your kiddoWhy parents need to set boundaries and expectations for family members' questions about their kiddo's transitionFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

Coming out is an age old tradition for queer kids. Some even think of it as a right of passage.But what we don't really consider is how emotionally taxing it is for the person doing the coming out. What we don't realize is that by even having this cultural set up, we're creating a world where our kids are othered. Wouldn't it be lovely if we didn't have to come out and we could just be ourselves without having to explain our identity to anyone?I realize that the world is far from this utopia I imagine. But it's not as far away as we were when I was a kid. A world where they don't have to come out, and just get to be is coming.But that day is not today. And as you navigate the coming out process it is sure to bring up lots of questions. So to help us in this conversation, I've asked my good friend and co-counselor, Jess Guerriero to join us. Jess Guerriero always wanted to be a Boy Scout and comes prepared as your guest counselor to journey through all of the adventures and self-discovery at Camp Wild Heart. Though afraid of the dark, they are not afraid to go to dark places with young people and their families to find some hope and reasons for staying alive. When not at Camp Wild Heart, they utilize their training in social work and their nerdy gender studies degree to help gender expansive youth and adults navigate exploring their identities and identifying ways to feel affirmed. They also bring their fierce and tender heart into parenting their five-year-old and loving on the various members of their relationship constellation. They come to Camp Wild Heart with almost 14 years of experience working with youth and families.Check out the full episode to hear about:Questions for parents and kiddos to consider when deciding when, how, and to whom to come outHow well-meaning family members can unintentionally disrupt and stunt their relationshipsThe impact of your language and framing when making an announcement on behalf of your kiddoWhy parents need to set boundaries and expectations for family members' questions about their kiddo's transitionFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

Parenthood is a state of nonstop learning and adapting. I love being my kids' mom more than anything. And it's a good thing I like a challenge because it is also the hardest thing I've ever done. Parenting is hard for so many reasons - even when you've got a neurotypical, cisgender kid with no mental health issues. Parenting a neurospicy, gender expansive kid is a whole other level of challenging.And being a parent shines a big bright light down on all of our own stuff. The lifetime of stuff we have been pushing into the dark corners to hide from the world and ourselves. As parents, no matter how much we love our child, our own stuff comes up. It creeps in. It gets in the way of us being able to show up for our kids in the ways they need us to, and the ways we want to. We can be resentful of this, or we can see it for the gift of reflection that it is.Today's Camp Wild Heart guest is brave dad, David. David is the father of Jimmy, who is 17 at the time of this recording. David, his wife, and their whole family have been on this gender journey together now for six years, and they've experienced the growing pains lots of families feel when a child transitions. There is no one way to parent any child. David kindly shares with us some of the ways he, his wife, and Jimmy have written the playbook for their family, and some ways he's had to grow as a dad in the process. Check out the full episode to hear about:How David and his wife found community and understanding with other parents of trans kiddosThe impact of transition, from haircuts to top surgery, on Jimmy's mental health and wellbeingHow David and Jimmy's relationship has evolved and deepened over the course of his gender journeyFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

Parenthood is a state of nonstop learning and adapting. I love being my kids' mom more than anything. And it's a good thing I like a challenge because it is also the hardest thing I've ever done. Parenting is hard for so many reasons - even when you've got a neurotypical, cisgender kid with no mental health issues. Parenting a neurospicy, gender expansive kid is a whole other level of challenging.And being a parent shines a big bright light down on all of our own stuff. The lifetime of stuff we have been pushing into the dark corners to hide from the world and ourselves. As parents, no matter how much we love our child, our own stuff comes up. It creeps in. It gets in the way of us being able to show up for our kids in the ways they need us to, and the ways we want to. We can be resentful of this, or we can see it for the gift of reflection that it is.Today's Camp Wild Heart guest is brave dad, David. David is the father of Jimmy, who is 17 at the time of this recording. David, his wife, and their whole family have been on this gender journey together now for six years, and they've experienced the growing pains lots of families feel when a child transitions. There is no one way to parent any child. David kindly shares with us some of the ways he, his wife, and Jimmy have written the playbook for their family, and some ways he's had to grow as a dad in the process. Check out the full episode to hear about:How David and his wife found community and understanding with other parents of trans kiddosThe impact of transition, from haircuts to top surgery, on Jimmy's mental health and wellbeingHow David and Jimmy's relationship has evolved and deepened over the course of his gender journeyFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

Have you ever had the experience where you open your mouth to speak, and the voice that comes out of your mouth is barely recognizable?Or have you ever heard yourself on a recording and thought, “Whoa! Is that what I sound like?!” These experiences aren't exactly the same as the gender dysphoria many trans people experience in their lives, but they are as close as I can get to helping you connect to the feeling of vocal gender dysphoria.  So what do we do about it? How do we help a girl whose voice has dropped? Or a boy who is the only one of his friends whose voice hasn't changed at all? Vocal Coaching. Vocal coaching isn't a quick fix. It takes diligence, time, practice and more practice to transition a voice. The traditional medical model of weekly visits with a Speech Language Pathologist can take up to three years to complete the transition. So thank goodness there is more than one model to transition a voice. Today's campfire guest is Nicole Gress, MS, CCC-SLP.  Nicole is white and uses she/they pronouns. They are the queer, trans founder and CEO of Undead Voice. Undead Voice is an online platform empowering and educating trans, non-binary, and gender-diverse folks to create a voice that aligns with their identity. Undead Voice's mission is to increase access to trans healthcare by making voice transition resources affordable, accessible, and affirming.  Nicole's model for vocal transition is innovative, and creative - and does my favorite thing - creates community for those who participate.Check out the full episode to hear about:Where the traditional model of voice transition falls shortWhy access, affordability, and community were Nicole's main goals when developing Undead Voice LabWhy Nicole uses non-gendered language when talking about voices and voice goalsWhy they say it's important for people to continue to be able to access their full vocal rangeHow the program addresses the emotional and mental components of voice transition to help people achieve their goalsFind out more about Nicole Gress, MS, CCC-SLP:Undead Voice LabTikTok: @undead.voiceInstagram: @undead.voiceUndead Voice Lab FAQsUndead Voice Lab Video QuestionnaireFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

Have you ever had the experience where you open your mouth to speak, and the voice that comes out of your mouth is barely recognizable?Or have you ever heard yourself on a recording and thought, “Whoa! Is that what I sound like?!” These experiences aren't exactly the same as the gender dysphoria many trans people experience in their lives, but they are as close as I can get to helping you connect to the feeling of vocal gender dysphoria.  So what do we do about it? How do we help a girl whose voice has dropped? Or a boy who is the only one of his friends whose voice hasn't changed at all? Vocal Coaching. Vocal coaching isn't a quick fix. It takes diligence, time, practice and more practice to transition a voice. The traditional medical model of weekly visits with a Speech Language Pathologist can take up to three years to complete the transition. So thank goodness there is more than one model to transition a voice. Today's campfire guest is Nicole Gress, MS, CCC-SLP.  Nicole is white and uses she/they pronouns. They are the queer, trans founder and CEO of Undead Voice. Undead Voice is an online platform empowering and educating trans, non-binary, and gender-diverse folks to create a voice that aligns with their identity. Undead Voice's mission is to increase access to trans healthcare by making voice transition resources affordable, accessible, and affirming.  Nicole's model for vocal transition is innovative, and creative - and does my favorite thing - creates community for those who participate.Check out the full episode to hear about:Where the traditional model of voice transition falls shortWhy access, affordability, and community were Nicole's main goals when developing Undead Voice LabWhy Nicole uses non-gendered language when talking about voices and voice goalsWhy they say it's important for people to continue to be able to access their full vocal rangeHow the program addresses the emotional and mental components of voice transition to help people achieve their goalsFind out more about Nicole Gress, MS, CCC-SLP:Undead Voice LabTikTok: @undead.voiceInstagram: @undead.voiceUndead Voice Lab FAQsUndead Voice Lab Video QuestionnaireFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

It certainly isn't the case for everyone, but for many parents, raising a transgender kiddo can feel like a pretty isolating experience.Who do I talk to about it? Where do we find more information? What supports are even available to our family? What does any of it mean? Finding other families can be very difficult. And there are so many factors that make it difficult. Where you live is usually a big one. There are certain parts of the country that have more resources and support than others. But even in those communities, it can still be hard to find what you need. Another big barrier to finding support is the age of your child. When kids come out early (like before puberty) it often leaves parents with a “well what do we do with this? We don't need medical interventions. I'm not even sure my kid needs therapy. I just want them to feel like they aren't the only one.”The truth is, most of the resources that exist in the US are resources that focus on teens and adults. Finding social support for younger kids can feel very challenging. That's why sometimes, parents end up taking it into their own hands. That's exactly what our campfire guest, Shannon Collins, did for their kiddo. Shannon is a white, nonbinary, queer person who uses they/them pronouns. They partnered with their local library to start an online group for young trans and gender expansive kids. And they've worked with a number of business owners to donate time and resources to create a breathtaking photography project called Youthphoria, that offers free photography sessions for trans, nonbinary, and gender expansive youth in the Philadelphia area.Check out the full episode to hear about:Why it was important to Shannon to partner with a library on Rainbow ConnectionsSteps they take to make the Rainbow Connections online community welcoming and accessible for a range of kidsHow the pandemic shifted Shannon's journey of learning to take up space and claim labelsHow Shannon's experience in the wedding industry influences how they talk about gender at homeThe common overlap of trans and nonbinary identities and neurodivergenceFind out more about Shannon Collins:Shannon Collins PhotographyAbington Free LibraryYouthphoriaFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:FANTI: No Cis-sies Allowed (ft. Da'Shaun Harrison)Loop EarplugsCalmer® EarplugsSelf-Diagnosis-Friendly Resources and Communities, University of WashingtonUnmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity, Devon PriceFrom Self-Diagnosis to Self-Realization | by Devon Price | Medium

It certainly isn't the case for everyone, but for many parents, raising a transgender kiddo can feel like a pretty isolating experience.Who do I talk to about it? Where do we find more information? What supports are even available to our family? What does any of it mean? Finding other families can be very difficult. And there are so many factors that make it difficult. Where you live is usually a big one. There are certain parts of the country that have more resources and support than others. But even in those communities, it can still be hard to find what you need. Another big barrier to finding support is the age of your child. When kids come out early (like before puberty) it often leaves parents with a “well what do we do with this? We don't need medical interventions. I'm not even sure my kid needs therapy. I just want them to feel like they aren't the only one.”The truth is, most of the resources that exist in the US are resources that focus on teens and adults. Finding social support for younger kids can feel very challenging. That's why sometimes, parents end up taking it into their own hands. That's exactly what our campfire guest, Shannon Collins, did for their kiddo. Shannon is a white, nonbinary, queer person who uses they/them pronouns. They partnered with their local library to start an online group for young trans and gender expansive kids. And they've worked with a number of business owners to donate time and resources to create a breathtaking photography project called Youthphoria, that offers free photography sessions for trans, nonbinary, and gender expansive youth in the Philadelphia area.Check out the full episode to hear about:Why it was important to Shannon to partner with a library on Rainbow ConnectionsSteps they take to make the Rainbow Connections online community welcoming and accessible for a range of kidsHow the pandemic shifted Shannon's journey of learning to take up space and claim labelsHow Shannon's experience in the wedding industry influences how they talk about gender at homeThe common overlap of trans and nonbinary identities and neurodivergenceFind out more about Shannon Collins:Shannon Collins PhotographyAbington Free LibraryYouthphoriaFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:FANTI: No Cis-sies Allowed (ft. Da'Shaun Harrison)Loop EarplugsCalmer® EarplugsSelf-Diagnosis-Friendly Resources and Communities, University of WashingtonUnmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity, Devon PriceFrom Self-Diagnosis to Self-Realization | by Devon Price | Medium

When kids come out as trans, there is often, but not always, a progression to it.It is not at all uncommon for kids–particularly adolescents–to start with coming out as gay, and then progress into a non-binary identity, and then to a re-binary identity.  But not everyone takes that route. And a lot of kids and adults discover the concept of non-binary or something similar and go, “Yes! This is me - finally.” There are so many labels in the gender universe, and because it is continuously evolving, it makes continuous learners out of all of us.My hope is that as people hear more gender journey stories like today's guest's, an awareness will be built and that more and more people will feel confident going on a journey of gender exploration.Today's campfire conversation is with Jeffrey Marsh. Jeffrey is a viral TikTok and Instagram star, nonbinary activist, and LGBTQ keynote speaker. Jeffrey was the first nonbinary public figure to appear on national television, being interviewed on Newsmax in 2016, and Jeffrey was the first celebrity activist to use they/them pronouns. Jeffrey's #1 bestseller, ‘How to Be You,' was the first nonbinary memoir. And Jeffrey is the first nonbinary author to sign a book deal with any “Big 5” publisher worldwide, for Penguin Random House. Jeffrey Marsh's TikToks and compassionate short-form videos have over one billion views. Check out the full episode to hear about:Jeffrey's perspective on self-kindness and self-love as a lifelong relationshipThe role parents play in helping their kids with the realities of being LGBTQ+ in the worldWhy you can't, and shouldn't, shield your kiddos from everythingHow non-binary identity creates a dialogueFind out more about Jeffrey Marsh:JeffreyMarsh.comInstagram: @theJeffreyMarshTikTok: @theJeffreyMarshHow to Be You: Stop Trying to Be Someone Else and Start Living Your LifeFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Guanyin - Wikipedia

When kids come out as trans, there is often, but not always, a progression to it.It is not at all uncommon for kids–particularly adolescents–to start with coming out as gay, and then progress into a non-binary identity, and then to a re-binary identity.  But not everyone takes that route. And a lot of kids and adults discover the concept of non-binary or something similar and go, “Yes! This is me - finally.” There are so many labels in the gender universe, and because it is continuously evolving, it makes continuous learners out of all of us.My hope is that as people hear more gender journey stories like today's guest's, an awareness will be built and that more and more people will feel confident going on a journey of gender exploration.Today's campfire conversation is with Jeffrey Marsh. Jeffrey is a viral TikTok and Instagram star, nonbinary activist, and LGBTQ keynote speaker. Jeffrey was the first nonbinary public figure to appear on national television, being interviewed on Newsmax in 2016, and Jeffrey was the first celebrity activist to use they/them pronouns. Jeffrey's #1 bestseller, ‘How to Be You,' was the first nonbinary memoir. And Jeffrey is the first nonbinary author to sign a book deal with any “Big 5” publisher worldwide, for Penguin Random House. Jeffrey Marsh's TikToks and compassionate short-form videos have over one billion views. Check out the full episode to hear about:Jeffrey's perspective on self-kindness and self-love as a lifelong relationshipThe role parents play in helping their kids with the realities of being LGBTQ+ in the worldWhy you can't, and shouldn't, shield your kiddos from everythingHow non-binary identity creates a dialogueFind out more about Jeffrey Marsh:JeffreyMarsh.comInstagram: @theJeffreyMarshTikTok: @theJeffreyMarshHow to Be You: Stop Trying to Be Someone Else and Start Living Your LifeFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Guanyin - Wikipedia

Dysphoria is a word that gets thrown around a lot in the trans community.Dysphoria is an intense discomfort, distress, or unease that typically has to do with one of three aspects of gender identity: physical, social, or mental.Dysphoria is NOT a qualifier for being trans.There are plenty of trans people who don't experience dysphoria.But since it is very common, we thought it would be worth telling you about how and when it shows up, what it feels like, and how you can support your kids through it.To help me with this conversation, I've brought in my good friend and colleague at Wild Heart Society, Karen Kopulos.Karen is white and uses they/them pronouns. Their work focuses primarily on trans and queer youth and their families and they have been doing this work in various forms for more than a decade. Clients rave about Karen's ability to meet kids and parents right where they're at, without judgment and gently moving them forward.Karen hails from Ohio and moved to Portland after college, where they've found love, happiness, and a community of support. When they aren't working, they're spending time with their partner, playing with their dog, or immersing themselves in nature.Check out the full episode to hear about:Common environments that may trigger dysphoriaHow physical dysphoria may show up for AFAB kids as they growHow allowing kids to transition gives them the freedom to explore their gender expressionWhy AMAB kids may develop mental and physical dysphoria earlier and require medical interventions soonerDifferent ways to approach bottom dysphoria for both AFAB and AMAB kidsFind out more about Karen Kopulos, LMHC:Wildheartsociety.orgFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Binders - https://www.gc2b.co/Binder Safety FAQA Queer Owned Sex Shop with a wide range of gender expression options https://www.sheboptheshop.com/gender-expression/Clothes, binders, swimwear - tomboyx.comClothes, swimwear - dapperboi.comClothes and swimwear for trans girls - https://rubyshines.com/Masturbation Sleeve for trans boys, and other affirming products - https://www.ftmessentials.com/products/shotpocketCustom Suits for Trans Bodies - https://www.bindleandkeep.com/

Dysphoria is a word that gets thrown around a lot in the trans community.Dysphoria is an intense discomfort, distress, or unease that typically has to do with one of three aspects of gender identity: physical, social, or mental.Dysphoria is NOT a qualifier for being trans.There are plenty of trans people who don't experience dysphoria.But since it is very common, we thought it would be worth telling you about how and when it shows up, what it feels like, and how you can support your kids through it.To help me with this conversation, I've brought in my good friend and colleague at Wild Heart Society, Karen Kopulos.Karen is white and uses they/them pronouns. Their work focuses primarily on trans and queer youth and their families and they have been doing this work in various forms for more than a decade. Clients rave about Karen's ability to meet kids and parents right where they're at, without judgment and gently moving them forward.Karen hails from Ohio and moved to Portland after college, where they've found love, happiness, and a community of support. When they aren't working, they're spending time with their partner, playing with their dog, or immersing themselves in nature.Check out the full episode to hear about:Common environments that may trigger dysphoriaHow physical dysphoria may show up for AFAB kids as they growHow allowing kids to transition gives them the freedom to explore their gender expressionWhy AMAB kids may develop mental and physical dysphoria earlier and require medical interventions soonerDifferent ways to approach bottom dysphoria for both AFAB and AMAB kidsFind out more about Karen Kopulos, LMHC:Wildheartsociety.orgFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Binders - https://www.gc2b.co/Binder Safety FAQA Queer Owned Sex Shop with a wide range of gender expression options https://www.sheboptheshop.com/gender-expression/Clothes, binders, swimwear - tomboyx.comClothes, swimwear - dapperboi.comClothes and swimwear for trans girls - https://rubyshines.com/Masturbation Sleeve for trans boys, and other affirming products - https://www.ftmessentials.com/products/shotpocketCustom Suits for Trans Bodies - https://www.bindleandkeep.com/

Sometimes we look around, or turn on the news, and it feels like we're just being pummeled with injustices and it can feel overwhelming.Maybe you've already been fighting social biases based on race, income, or ability - and now here comes this kid that you love more than life, and they're thrusting you into a whole new world of oppression that you probably didn't even know existed.I think that advocacy and inclusion work as a parent of a trans kid is almost inevitable. You're going to find yourself in positions to educate and advocate over and over and over and over again. Some parents find this to be overwhelming, others find it empowering, and love being able to find their voice as they fight for their child's rights. I don't think any parent recognizes that this is going to be part of their parenting journey until they're facing discrimination head on. They didn't know that the people they might have to push back against are their friends, family members, and colleagues. And sometimes they can get resentful of how their child doesn't have the same privileges they thought they did, and how their lack of gender privilege also spills onto them.Today's campfire guest is a therapist, social justice advocate, racial equity trainer, small business owner and overall badass, Martha Stebbins. Martha owns Mente Counseling and Consulting in Seattle Washington. She is bilingual/bicultural and her pronouns are she/ella.  Martha is incredibly knowledgeable when it comes to working with little kids and trauma, and she also has a wealth of knowledge and experience in helping families of color navigate mental health and social injustice. Check out the full episode to hear about:How intersectionality interacts with our implicit calculations of danger and safetyHow intersectionality is impacted by both self-identification and external perceptions and interactionsWhy oppressive forces and intersectionality matter for everyone, even if we hold privilegeHow parents can approach their trans kiddos' intersecting identities with openness and curiosityFind out more about Martha Stebbins-Aguiniga:Mente Counseling and ConsultingFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:The Sum of Us: What Racism Costs Everyone and How We Can Prosper Together, Heather McGheeLGBTQ Students Face Unfair School Discipline, Pushing Many Out of School | GLSENStudy: Black Girls Are Being Pushed Out of School : Code Switch : NPRA Battle for the Souls of Black Girls

Sometimes we look around, or turn on the news, and it feels like we're just being pummeled with injustices and it can feel overwhelming.Maybe you've already been fighting social biases based on race, income, or ability - and now here comes this kid that you love more than life, and they're thrusting you into a whole new world of oppression that you probably didn't even know existed.I think that advocacy and inclusion work as a parent of a trans kid is almost inevitable. You're going to find yourself in positions to educate and advocate over and over and over and over again. Some parents find this to be overwhelming, others find it empowering, and love being able to find their voice as they fight for their child's rights. I don't think any parent recognizes that this is going to be part of their parenting journey until they're facing discrimination head on. They didn't know that the people they might have to push back against are their friends, family members, and colleagues. And sometimes they can get resentful of how their child doesn't have the same privileges they thought they did, and how their lack of gender privilege also spills onto them.Today's campfire guest is a therapist, social justice advocate, racial equity trainer, small business owner and overall badass, Martha Stebbins. Martha owns Mente Counseling and Consulting in Seattle Washington. She is bilingual/bicultural and her pronouns are she/ella.  Martha is incredibly knowledgeable when it comes to working with little kids and trauma, and she also has a wealth of knowledge and experience in helping families of color navigate mental health and social injustice. Check out the full episode to hear about:How intersectionality interacts with our implicit calculations of danger and safetyHow intersectionality is impacted by both self-identification and external perceptions and interactionsWhy oppressive forces and intersectionality matter for everyone, even if we hold privilegeHow parents can approach their trans kiddos' intersecting identities with openness and curiosityFind out more about Martha Stebbins-Aguiniga:Mente Counseling and ConsultingFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:The Sum of Us: What Racism Costs Everyone and How We Can Prosper Together, Heather McGheeLGBTQ Students Face Unfair School Discipline, Pushing Many Out of School | GLSENStudy: Black Girls Are Being Pushed Out of School : Code Switch : NPRA Battle for the Souls of Black Girls

Showing up for our kids seems simple enough, right?Showing up means more than just your physical presence in a room. Showing up for your child is about the quality of your presence. Showing up means connection and attention–putting your phone down while your child is on the playground, taking advantage of every second of the three minutes your child engages with you about their day. Showing up is about making sure our kids feel soothed, safe, seen, and secure.And the research on child development clearly demonstrates that one of the very best predictors for how any child turns out–in terms of happiness, social and emotional development, leadership skills, meaningful relationships, even academic and career success–is whether they developed security from having at least one person who showed up for them.Across cultures and around the globe, these studies reveal a universal finding about how we can parent well, if not flawlessly. Today's campfire guest is mama bear, Michelle.Michelle is a Latinx cisgender woman and mother of three. She and her husband, who is white, live in suburbia with their youngest child. Their oldest child is off conquering the world, and their middle child died in late 2020 by suicide. We're going to be talking much more about how Michelle chose to show up for her kids and what that has meant for them and for her entire family. Content warning for discussion of suicide.Check out the full episode to hear about:How Michelle showed up for her kids with listening, regularly acknowledging she didn't have all the answers, non-judgment, and accountabilityWhy you need to know when your kids are most open to conversation, whether it's face to face, in the car, or outdoorsWhy Michelle says being able to laugh at ourselves is a key lesson to model for our kids Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired, Tina Payne Bryson and Daniel J. Siegel

Showing up for our kids seems simple enough, right?Showing up means more than just your physical presence in a room. Showing up for your child is about the quality of your presence. Showing up means connection and attention–putting your phone down while your child is on the playground, taking advantage of every second of the three minutes your child engages with you about their day. Showing up is about making sure our kids feel soothed, safe, seen, and secure.And the research on child development clearly demonstrates that one of the very best predictors for how any child turns out–in terms of happiness, social and emotional development, leadership skills, meaningful relationships, even academic and career success–is whether they developed security from having at least one person who showed up for them.Across cultures and around the globe, these studies reveal a universal finding about how we can parent well, if not flawlessly. Today's campfire guest is mama bear, Michelle.Michelle is a Latinx cisgender woman and mother of three. She and her husband, who is white, live in suburbia with their youngest child. Their oldest child is off conquering the world, and their middle child died in late 2020 by suicide. We're going to be talking much more about how Michelle chose to show up for her kids and what that has meant for them and for her entire family. Content warning for discussion of suicide.Check out the full episode to hear about:How Michelle showed up for her kids with listening, regularly acknowledging she didn't have all the answers, non-judgment, and accountabilityWhy you need to know when your kids are most open to conversation, whether it's face to face, in the car, or outdoorsWhy Michelle says being able to laugh at ourselves is a key lesson to model for our kids Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired, Tina Payne Bryson and Daniel J. Siegel

You know that feeling when you're walking down the hall, or through a room of people and it feels like everyone is staring at you?And you know in those moments you almost start to stare at yourself?You become acutely aware of the way your clothes are hanging on your body, your posture, the way you're walking, the hairstyle you chose that day–and chances are you're not thinking about how awesome you look.There is a name for this experience.It's called self-objectification and we all do it.We're groomed for it from birth. It is at the root of so many of our own body image problems. And we're raising our kids to do the exact same thing.Self-objectification is the concept of trying to look at ourselves through the eyes of others. We cannot see our own bodies walking through the world, but we definitely imagine them and when we do, we imagine them through a lens of criticism and unworthiness. There are so many reasons we do this, and NONE of them are healthy. Today's guest at the campfire is Lexie Kite.Lexie and her identical twin sister, Lindsay, are the co-directors of Beauty Redefined, a nonprofit working to help girls and women improve their body image and self-worth as they wade through harmful cultural ideals. They are the co-authors of the book More Than a Body. Check out the full episode to hear about:Defining internalized objectification and self-objectification and how it presents in cis and trans kidsWhy expanding the definition of beauty isn't enoughWays to empower your kiddo to challenge body-centered talk and build body image resilienceFind out more about Lexie Kite:Beauty RedefinedMore Than a BodyInstagram: @beauty_redefinedTwitter: @TakeBackBeautyFacebook: @BeautyRedefinedFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

You know that feeling when you're walking down the hall, or through a room of people and it feels like everyone is staring at you?And you know in those moments you almost start to stare at yourself?You become acutely aware of the way your clothes are hanging on your body, your posture, the way you're walking, the hairstyle you chose that day–and chances are you're not thinking about how awesome you look.There is a name for this experience.It's called self-objectification and we all do it.We're groomed for it from birth. It is at the root of so many of our own body image problems. And we're raising our kids to do the exact same thing.Self-objectification is the concept of trying to look at ourselves through the eyes of others. We cannot see our own bodies walking through the world, but we definitely imagine them and when we do, we imagine them through a lens of criticism and unworthiness. There are so many reasons we do this, and NONE of them are healthy. Today's guest at the campfire is Lexie Kite.Lexie and her identical twin sister, Lindsay, are the co-directors of Beauty Redefined, a nonprofit working to help girls and women improve their body image and self-worth as they wade through harmful cultural ideals. They are the co-authors of the book More Than a Body. Check out the full episode to hear about:Defining internalized objectification and self-objectification and how it presents in cis and trans kidsWhy expanding the definition of beauty isn't enoughWays to empower your kiddo to challenge body-centered talk and build body image resilienceFind out more about Lexie Kite:Beauty RedefinedMore Than a BodyInstagram: @beauty_redefinedTwitter: @TakeBackBeautyFacebook: @BeautyRedefinedFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

Gender affects us all and matters to us all. We all have a gender story. And the societal rules about gender that are wired into us deeply affect the way we treat people. Otherwise why would it matter if you can't tell what someone's gender is? Gender journeys are something that trans people think about a lot. And if you haven't ever thought about your own, I highly encourage you to.Today Mikki Gillette is going to share with us a bit about her gender journey.She's also the best person I could think of to talk to you about how to show up advocate for your kids, hopefully changing some of the messages that they'll receive about their own gender and their worth as a transgender person in America.Mikki Gillette is the Major Gifts Officer at Basic Rights Oregon, the state's LGBTQ policy and advocacy organization. A transgender woman, she's helped organize the Portland Trans March and the City of Portland's Trans Day of Visibility event. Last year, Mikki also testified at the state legislature in support of the LGBTQ Panic Defense Ban.Mikki is also a playwright whose works have enjoyed readings across the city. She was named a 2020 Queer Hero by GLAPN Northwest.Check out the full episode to hear about:How your trans kiddo can only be the expert on how they're feeling right now Why you need to undertake your own education on trans issues, plus recommended resourcesWhy your kiddo needs to know you're on their journey with themHow connecting with other parents and getting involved can help when you feel powerlessFind out more about Mikki Gillette and Basic Rights Oregon:Basic Rights OregonBasic Rights Oregon: Fierce Families NetworkFacebook: @BasicRightsFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Raising the Transgender Child: A Complete Guide for Parents, Families, and Caregivers, Michele Angello and Ali BowmanBecoming Nicole: The Inspiring Story of Transgender Actor-Activist Nicole Maines and Her Extraordinary Family, Amy Ellis NuttTomorrow Will Be Different: Love, Loss, and the Fight for Trans Equality, Sarah McBride

Gender affects us all and matters to us all. We all have a gender story. And the societal rules about gender that are wired into us deeply affect the way we treat people. Otherwise why would it matter if you can't tell what someone's gender is? Gender journeys are something that trans people think about a lot. And if you haven't ever thought about your own, I highly encourage you to.Today Mikki Gillette is going to share with us a bit about her gender journey.She's also the best person I could think of to talk to you about how to show up advocate for your kids, hopefully changing some of the messages that they'll receive about their own gender and their worth as a transgender person in America.Mikki Gillette is the Major Gifts Officer at Basic Rights Oregon, the state's LGBTQ policy and advocacy organization. A transgender woman, she's helped organize the Portland Trans March and the City of Portland's Trans Day of Visibility event. Last year, Mikki also testified at the state legislature in support of the LGBTQ Panic Defense Ban.Mikki is also a playwright whose works have enjoyed readings across the city. She was named a 2020 Queer Hero by GLAPN Northwest.Check out the full episode to hear about:How your trans kiddo can only be the expert on how they're feeling right now Why you need to undertake your own education on trans issues, plus recommended resourcesWhy your kiddo needs to know you're on their journey with themHow connecting with other parents and getting involved can help when you feel powerlessFind out more about Mikki Gillette and Basic Rights Oregon:Basic Rights OregonBasic Rights Oregon: Fierce Families NetworkFacebook: @BasicRightsFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Raising the Transgender Child: A Complete Guide for Parents, Families, and Caregivers, Michele Angello and Ali BowmanBecoming Nicole: The Inspiring Story of Transgender Actor-Activist Nicole Maines and Her Extraordinary Family, Amy Ellis NuttTomorrow Will Be Different: Love, Loss, and the Fight for Trans Equality, Sarah McBride

When we're looking at any life transition, we're in for a bumpy ride.Even when that change is good, transitions are hard. We're bound to have missteps and hard moments in the messy middles that most of us work really hard to avoid because of how uncomfortable they are.But there are some times, like when your child comes out and wants to transition, that those moments become unavoidable.Navigating anything that goes against social norms is never simple.It might mean having to have hard conversations and make hard choices around extended family. It means having to fight for your child in school. It means rumbling with all kinds of emotional baggage most of us didn't even know we were carrying.It might even mean a change of faith.There's nothing simple about the massive ripple effect that your child's gender transition has on your life.Today we're going to be talking to Mama Bear Kristen. Kristen is the mother of two kids, and she and her family live in a rural community where they own a farm. Kristen's sons are both teenagers.Check out the full episode to hear about:How his childhood stereotypically feminine presentation made Alex's coming out more of a shock to KristenThe challenges they faced with his name and pronouns with grandparentsHow they grappled with their church's response the Alex's coming out and finding a new spiritual communityHow Kristen came to terms with Alex's desire for medical transition and hormonesFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

When we're looking at any life transition, we're in for a bumpy ride.Even when that change is good, transitions are hard. We're bound to have missteps and hard moments in the messy middles that most of us work really hard to avoid because of how uncomfortable they are.But there are some times, like when your child comes out and wants to transition, that those moments become unavoidable.Navigating anything that goes against social norms is never simple.It might mean having to have hard conversations and make hard choices around extended family. It means having to fight for your child in school. It means rumbling with all kinds of emotional baggage most of us didn't even know we were carrying.It might even mean a change of faith.There's nothing simple about the massive ripple effect that your child's gender transition has on your life.Today we're going to be talking to Mama Bear Kristen. Kristen is the mother of two kids, and she and her family live in a rural community where they own a farm. Kristen's sons are both teenagers.Check out the full episode to hear about:How his childhood stereotypically feminine presentation made Alex's coming out more of a shock to KristenThe challenges they faced with his name and pronouns with grandparentsHow they grappled with their church's response the Alex's coming out and finding a new spiritual communityHow Kristen came to terms with Alex's desire for medical transition and hormonesFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

Have you had those moments with your kid that have left you feeling totally confused about what the right next step is?Parenting can feel stressful and downright overwhelming. Confusing, traumatizing, joyous, disappointing, and like the best thing we've ever done all in a matter of moments.All those emotions have messages and they often conflict with each other.If we don't sort through these emotions, or parts of ourselves that are showing up in this chapter of parenthood, we are sure to misstep and blow it somehow.This is why one of the most helpful things we can do as parents when we're working hard to support our trans kiddos is to get clear on what it is we're experiencing, and what we really need to do with it.As a society, we've done a pretty poor job of accurately learning and teaching each other how to integrate and embody our emotions with intention and understanding.Personally, I love emotions, and feelings and that's because I've made a career out of it, and have learned so much about myself in the process. I'm made up of all kinds of different parts. I'm complex, just like you.And just like my guest today, Delena Meyer.Delena Meyer wears a lot of hats. She is a mom, partner, and founder of Deviant Compassion Consulting, where her team helps people bring more compassionate humanity to their work.Today, Delena is going to talk with us about her youngest child, Oliver, and all the parts that came up or got activated as she and Oliver charted the path of transition.Check out the full episode to hear about:How part of Delena attached to a trauma narrative that made it difficult to process her son's coming outHow therapy for both Delena and Oliver helped them both delineate whose parts were being activatedHow they both use humor to soften sharp edges and confront hard things about themselves and each otherFind out more about Delena Meyer:Deviant Compassion ConsultingFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Triple PointCDC: Adverse Childhood ExperiencesNo Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model, Richard SchwartzYou Are The One You've Been Waiting For, Richard Schwartz

Have you had those moments with your kid that have left you feeling totally confused about what the right next step is?Parenting can feel stressful and downright overwhelming. Confusing, traumatizing, joyous, disappointing, and like the best thing we've ever done all in a matter of moments.All those emotions have messages and they often conflict with each other.If we don't sort through these emotions, or parts of ourselves that are showing up in this chapter of parenthood, we are sure to misstep and blow it somehow.This is why one of the most helpful things we can do as parents when we're working hard to support our trans kiddos is to get clear on what it is we're experiencing, and what we really need to do with it.As a society, we've done a pretty poor job of accurately learning and teaching each other how to integrate and embody our emotions with intention and understanding.Personally, I love emotions, and feelings and that's because I've made a career out of it, and have learned so much about myself in the process. I'm made up of all kinds of different parts. I'm complex, just like you.And just like my guest today, Delena Meyer.Delena Meyer wears a lot of hats. She is a mom, partner, and founder of Deviant Compassion Consulting, where her team helps people bring more compassionate humanity to their work.Today, Delena is going to talk with us about her youngest child, Oliver, and all the parts that came up or got activated as she and Oliver charted the path of transition.Check out the full episode to hear about:How part of Delena attached to a trauma narrative that made it difficult to process her son's coming outHow therapy for both Delena and Oliver helped them both delineate whose parts were being activatedHow they both use humor to soften sharp edges and confront hard things about themselves and each otherFind out more about Delena Meyer:Deviant Compassion ConsultingFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:Wildheartsociety.orgwildheartsociety.org/downloadsWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Triple PointCDC: Adverse Childhood ExperiencesNo Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model, Richard SchwartzYou Are The One You've Been Waiting For, Richard Schwartz

The way we talk to kids about bodies and gender is so important.When I was a kid, we didn't really talk about gender in any particular way, but it was everywhere and it was clear what the roles were. We didn't really talk about bodies either - other than what was wrong with them.I wanted to do things differently with my kids. I wanted them to have an inclusive upbringing and understanding that their bodies were theirs and that they were wonderful, powerful, and the wisest part of them.I wanted them to know that their gender and their biological sex were different and that there were all these invisible pressures and rules for them but that they didn't need to follow any of them.In early learning, whenever we want to teach kids social lessons, we turn to literature, and there was a shocking LACK of children's literature that was inclusive and body positive. I stumbled my way through trying to explain gender and bodies to my kids because I didn't really have a good resource to turn to when they were very young.This is why I'm so excited to talk to Rachel Simon.Rachel is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist who offers therapy, gender and sexuality education, and consulting to youth, parents, families, educational faculty, professional organizations, and health professionals.She received both Masters degrees from Widener University and received her BA in Psychology and LGBT Studies from the University of Maryland. Rachel has provided training and consultation on gender, sex, and LGBTQ issues for groups in the US and abroad. She currently runs her private psychotherapy practice in Philadelphia, specializing in queer and transgender youth and young adults. Rachel is the author of the sexuality education book for children, The Every Body Book: The LGBTQ+ Inclusive Guide for Kids About Sex, Gender, Bodies, and Families.Check out the full episode to hear about:Simple ways to answer kids' questions about gender and transitioningHow to introduce gender expansiveness from an early age through play and languageTeaching kids empathy while recognizing and acknowledging differencesAdvice on boundaries, advocacy and not getting trapped by anxiety for parents and families supporting gender-expansive kidsFind out more about Rachel Simon:Rachel Simon TherapyThe Every Body Book: The LGBTQ+ Inclusive Guide for Kids about Sex, Gender, Bodies, and Families, Rachel E. Simon and Noah GrigniFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Talking to Young ChildrenHow to Talk to Kids about Gender IdentityChildren Books About Gender Identity

The way we talk to kids about bodies and gender is so important.When I was a kid, we didn't really talk about gender in any particular way, but it was everywhere and it was clear what the roles were. We didn't really talk about bodies either - other than what was wrong with them.I wanted to do things differently with my kids. I wanted them to have an inclusive upbringing and understanding that their bodies were theirs and that they were wonderful, powerful, and the wisest part of them.I wanted them to know that their gender and their biological sex were different and that there were all these invisible pressures and rules for them but that they didn't need to follow any of them.In early learning, whenever we want to teach kids social lessons, we turn to literature, and there was a shocking LACK of children's literature that was inclusive and body positive. I stumbled my way through trying to explain gender and bodies to my kids because I didn't really have a good resource to turn to when they were very young.This is why I'm so excited to talk to Rachel Simon.Rachel is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist who offers therapy, gender and sexuality education, and consulting to youth, parents, families, educational faculty, professional organizations, and health professionals.She received both Masters degrees from Widener University and received her BA in Psychology and LGBT Studies from the University of Maryland. Rachel has provided training and consultation on gender, sex, and LGBTQ issues for groups in the US and abroad. She currently runs her private psychotherapy practice in Philadelphia, specializing in queer and transgender youth and young adults. Rachel is the author of the sexuality education book for children, The Every Body Book: The LGBTQ+ Inclusive Guide for Kids About Sex, Gender, Bodies, and Families.Check out the full episode to hear about:Simple ways to answer kids' questions about gender and transitioningHow to introduce gender expansiveness from an early age through play and languageTeaching kids empathy while recognizing and acknowledging differencesAdvice on boundaries, advocacy and not getting trapped by anxiety for parents and families supporting gender-expansive kidsFind out more about Rachel Simon:Rachel Simon TherapyThe Every Body Book: The LGBTQ+ Inclusive Guide for Kids about Sex, Gender, Bodies, and Families, Rachel E. Simon and Noah GrigniFind out more about Mackenzie Dunham:wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on InstagramResources:Talking to Young ChildrenHow to Talk to Kids about Gender IdentityChildren Books About Gender Identity

 There are lots of different opinions on the best way to support trans youth. Even among the community of affirming providers, there are lots of opinions of what should or should not happen for youth. According to standards of care written by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), once a person is 18, they should have access to care through the informed consent model. Meaning, they walk into a clinic, they say they're trans, they receive education about hormones and what they'll do to their body, they sign some forms and they're good to go. There are many individuals who feel that this should also be the path for youth. But according to WPATH, youth are required to undergo a comprehensive mental health assessment before they can proceed with hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Some professionals in the field, as well as within the trans community, feel like this is gatekeeping and creates unnecessary barriers to getting life-saving care. Others feel that this is a necessary step to assure that trans youth are clear on what they're experiencing and are ready for the changes that will come with HRT. Why? Shouldn't a person be able to say what they need and we believe them? Today, we're going to hear from Dr. Laura Edwards-Leeper. Laura is a pioneer and had the courage to step up for trans kids years before any of the other gender clinics started doing this work. She was the founding psychologist in the first youth transgender clinic in the United States and is currently the chair of the Child and Adolescent Committee for WPATH and is heavily involved in the revision of the standards of care. She has a private practice outside of Portland, Oregon, where she works with transgender and gender-diverse children and adolescents and adults for therapy and assessment. She also provides consultation and training to providers and clinics around the country. Internationally she's often a go-to resource for media outlets, including the New York Times, the Atlantic, the Washington Post the BBC and most recently 60 Minutes. Check out the full episode to hear about:Why the standards of care for children and adolescents are different than those for adults and why that includes a comprehensive mental health assessmentWhat parents can do to be part of the assessment process to maintain or strengthen their relationships with their kiddosAdvice for how to find a clinician skilled in working with adolescents and their families for assessment and therapyWhy an assessment is not a final yes or no, but a source of information Find out more about Laura Edwards-Leeper, PhD:DrLauraEdwardsLeeper.com Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram Additional resources:World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) 

  There are lots of different opinions on the best way to support trans youth.   Even among the community of affirming providers, there are lots of opinions of what should or should not happen for youth.   According to standards of care written by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), once a person is 18, they should have access to care through the informed consent model.   Meaning, they walk into a clinic, they say they're trans, they receive education about hormones and what they'll do to their body, they sign some forms and they're good to go.   There are many individuals who feel that this should also be the path for youth. But according to WPATH, youth are required to undergo a comprehensive mental health assessment before they can proceed with hormone replacement therapy (HRT).   Some professionals in the field, as well as within the trans community, feel like this is gatekeeping and creates unnecessary barriers to getting life-saving care.   Others feel that this is a necessary step to assure that trans youth are clear on what they're experiencing and are ready for the changes that will come with HRT.   Why? Shouldn't a person be able to say what they need and we believe them?   Today, we're going to hear from Dr. Laura Edwards-Leeper. Laura is a pioneer and had the courage to step up for trans kids years before any of the other gender clinics started doing this work. She was the founding psychologist in the first youth transgender clinic in the United States and is currently the chair of the Child and Adolescent Committee for WPATH and is heavily involved in the revision of the standards of care.   She has a private practice outside of Portland, Oregon, where she works with transgender and gender-diverse children and adolescents and adults for therapy and assessment. She also provides consultation and training to providers and clinics around the country. Internationally she's often a go-to resource for media outlets, including the New York Times, the Atlantic, the Washington Post the BBC and most recently 60 Minutes.   Check out the full episode to hear about: Why the standards of care for children and adolescents are different than those for adults and why that includes a comprehensive mental health assessment What parents can do to be part of the assessment process to maintain or strengthen their relationships with their kiddos Advice for how to find a clinician skilled in working with adolescents and their families for assessment and therapy Why an assessment is not a final yes or no, but a source of information   Find out more about Laura Edwards-Leeper, PhD: DrLauraEdwardsLeeper.com   Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham: wildheartsociety.org Wild Heart Society on Facebook Wild Heart Society on Instagram   Additional resources: World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH)  

 Every step along the medical journey requires some level of interaction with an insurance company. Prior to the Affordable Care Act, most, if not all, insurance companies did not cover any gender affirming care. They saw it purely as elective and not a medical necessity, but as you are experiencing firsthand, times they are a-changin'. And with that, so has what is and is not covered under insurance benefits. Some of the most comprehensive coverage plans I've seen will cover everything a person might need in order to feel affirmed: blockers, hormones, surgeries, voice therapy, the list goes on. Whereas other plans cover far less and/or have more hoops that they want people to jump through in order to approve an intervention. That's why I've asked Rachel back to the podcast. Rachel is the mama bear of Archie, who is 16. We first heard from Rachel in Episode 7. Rachel is one of the fiercest parent advocates I've met doing this work. When her kid needs something, you better believe she's not going to rest until they get it. For our conversation today, we're talking about insurance, top surgery and her experience in navigating both of those things at the same time and still managing to stay sane. It's my hope that Rachel's story will provide you with the awareness and common humanity that it isn't just your kid. It isn't just you that has to wrestle with the bureaucracy to get what you and your family need. Pushing back is a headache, but the payoff of seeing your child thrive, if medical intervention is something that they need, will be well worth it. Check out the full episode to hear about:Why shifting her mindset from being the container for her son's transition to being the channel for it has made it easier for Rachel to advocate for medical supportWhy Rachel advocated for top surgery as a mental health and social wellbeing issue when it came to getting insurance authorizationHow working with experienced professionals writing letters in support of services can alleviate some of the insurance hurdlesAsking for help and seeking out resources to navigate insurance from your company and your community Additional resources: WPATH Standards of CareFierce Families NetworkCamp Wildheart Episode 7: Getting Our Trans Kids to Tell Us What's Really Going OnPFLAG  Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram