An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven by Tim Bedore

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I am a standup comedian who feels it's time to give back to the audience. So, I want to become your spiritual guru and life coach. What are my qualifications? I have a psych minor and was an altar boy during the last months of the Latin mass in the Catholic church. And if you follow my advice an…

Tim Bedore


    • May 10, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • monthly NEW EPISODES
    • 18m AVG DURATION
    • 130 EPISODES
    • 1 SEASONS


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    Latest episodes from An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven by Tim Bedore

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 130

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2025 20:00


    Would you believe a Christian gospel musical group has recorded a song called "Tim Bedore is Going to Hell?"  They are trying to smite thine enemy through song.  Well, not only do I play their song in this episode but encourage all of you to call Christian music radio stations and request they play it.  Someone has taken issue with my getting a daily dose of fantasy from religion or Trump concept and this time their rejection of me really stings.  Are Uber liberals capable of clinging to absurd fantasy rationalization?  Can you be a moral person if you like the work of an immoral person?  I have an idea on how to deal with this dilemma. If all 170 episodes of Green Acres can fit on a tiny thumb drive have we just witnessed a miracle?  I also welcome a new sponsor-Big Lake Lager-The Only Beer With The Slight Taste of Fish and it's all over in under 20 minutes.  Subscribe and THRIVE!!! 

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 129

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 6, 2025 20:39


    Some of you loved my song "We Thank God For Being An American" from the last episode while others were incensed.  I try to apologize.  Did you know the Biblical context for "virgin" just meant a young woman?  Should you always go along with a crowd giving a standing ovation even if you were not that impressed?  Are Nazi analogies fair or overused?  Has politics become another form of entertainment and what to do about it?  If a biological male self-identifies as a female whose pregnant should HR grant maternity leave?  If I swung at a throw over to first base to end a game in Little League was I an idiot or overly optmistic?  People have questions, I have answers.  Subscribe and THRIVE!!!!   

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 128

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 11, 2025 21:33


    Can an aging senior with memory issues navigate the digital world?  I offer a solution.  A new client had an affair with a married man. Now her religious parents are furious, her lover is over the top mad she let her parents find out, his wife hates my client and has sunk into depression and this client wants to know what to do. My path forward is an outside the box approach that just might thread the needle. Have you ever seen a sentence with three cliches? In episode 127 I infuriated some political conservatives and country music fans and to make up for that unintended slight I wrote and recorded a song to show I do love country music and use it to sincerely apologize to them. My new song is called "We Thank God For Being an American" and I am very proud of it. In fact, I think I may have a hit on my hands. Please take a listen and let me know what you think. Subscribe and THRIVE!!!!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven With Tim Bedore Episode 127

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 20, 2025 19:40


    OK, this might be the strangest episode yet.  I've either lost my mind or figured out the real reason Trump won. Either way, this one's unique. Also, some of you wondered if you didn't like the Super Bowl half time show does that make you a racist. Is fantasy oxygen for the psyche and the key to our well being? Does religion provide that daily dose of the fantastic and minus religion do we seek fantasy elsewhere in a secular world? Why are there roller coasters on cruise ships? If I went to a Renaissance Festival dressed as Mr. Spock would that be a cruel joke on the maidens faire and scurvy knaves? Does it make sense to talk about "The Odyssey" and "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Killer" in the same paragraph? And it's all over in under 20 minutes. SUBSCRIBE and THRIVE!!!! 

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 126

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2025 21:02


    Do you need to be dirty to be relevant in today's media climate?  I attempt to straddle the clean/dirty divide.  Does anybody fall for Artificial Intelligence online sex come ons?  Did AI Lisa really make those bikini pictures "just for" me? Are conservatives more likely to fall for AI falsehoods?  How does the Left fight back for the next four years?  A client who wants to gift money to just his family members who are not homophobes (others are) asks for help.  I offer a unique solution.  Do the ends ever justify the means?  Will the murderer who killed the health insurance CEO ever be seen as a folk hero?  Why are "Star Wars," "High Noon," "Ghandi," and Switzerland in my response?  Is the weight loss drug Wegovy the answer to the question "Is big government the answer?"  All this and more in just 20 minutes.  You've done worse things with your time.  Subscribe and THRIVE!!!!  

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 125

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 10, 2025 18:57


    Want to make some money?  My 2025 predictions for the new year come with a money back guarantee.  Want to know what insanity Trump says in his inauguration speech?  I've seen the future and share it with you.  I also help a client who doesn't want to go back to the office as his company is demanding.  Should he quit if they don't let him telecommute?  Are small towns really safer?  Why do some people in small towns freak out?  What does rural Illinois in January have in common with the moon?  AI can do some impressive things but I still know it's the devil in disguise and will end human creativity if we use it.  I describe why the human creative spirit should never be taken out of the equation and the best example in human history of how we get it right.  Would AI ever create the Beatles or even the Monkees or even Beatlemania?  Would you watch a movie mashup called "Whatever Happened to Rosemary's Baby Jane?"  Can AI do standup comedy?  The joke I love the most is sacrilegious but would it ever come my way if AI was in charge?  All this in under 19 minutes.  What do you have to lose (other than that)?  Subscribe and THRIVE! 

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 124

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2024 18:17


    Just in time for the holidays, especially if you want to hear something that has very little to do with the holidays, comes a new episode briefly touching on Trump cabinet picks, I help someone who thinks they're the victim of ageism, a gym teacher who endured a serious dodgeball accident, possible jobs for retirement age Baby Boomers, the dangers of senior porn, the slowest standing ovation in comedy history, how to get young people to watch the evening news, are tattoos now necessary to be relevant, what if your last name is Alzheimer or Hitler, surgical mistakes and how to avoid them and what every pregnant woman should do before going to the hospital. All that in just over 18 minutes.  Subscribe and THRIVE! 

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 123

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2024 18:12


    Does America want politics to be a reality game show? Was Biden competent but boring? A client has a mother-in-law that criticizes her driving. I offer some solutions that involve air bags. Another client's fiance has a tattoo of his past girlfriend that is a problem and she's thinking of calling off the wedding. I might have a work around. For the first time I am thinking of getting some tattoos for very practical reasons that might be helpful for many of us. Does God hate sex? What do the Amish do on the wedding night? Are erotic dreams the work of Satan? And what is the real purpose of saying a prayer before bed? All that and more in just 18:12. Subscribe and THRIVE. The best thriving EVER!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 122

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2024 19:47


    In episode 122 I try my darndest to help clients suffering from post election PTSD and pretty much fail. I'm too pissed off myself. But I do grapple with can you fix dumb, should we try to understand the other side, are one issue voters the problem, why does the working class stab themselves in the back, do most Americans hate smart people, is someone with a combover a pathological liar, is there no level of hypocrisy the right won't sink to, what can the gateway theory of communication teach us about today's political climate, what will conservatives say when America goes over the cliff, does the Old Testament advise women to use the rhythm method of contraception, is there a Hail Mary pass to make to thwart the Trump Agenda and what album do I listen to that always gives me peace and serenity?  All that in under 19 minutes.  SUBSCRIBE and THRIVE!!!!!  

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 121

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 30, 2024 17:08


    This election is going to be the most important of our lives and in this episode I give a non-partisan reason for voting for Harris that involves Arnold Palmer.  Like Trump, I too, saw Arnie in a golf course locker room and I want you to know what I thought.  Are you happy with the quality of people who run for Congress?  If not I have a new form of government you might like.  And I have proof that Artificial Intelligence is incompetent, if an AI generated email I got is any indication.  And it's all over in 17 minutes.  You can't lose.  SUBSCRIBE and THRIVE!!!! 

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 120

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2024 20:38


    If the business of America truly is business then wouldn't it follow you could sell advertising space on your headstone?  I have an answer.  Also, the worst obituary ever published, what one cemetery is doing to have a revenue stream other than death, what kind of businesses would benefit from selling THC beverages, the only (but huge) mistake Coca-Cola ever made, are you breaking your marital vows if you want a sleep divorce, why frontier/pioneer families often had 20-30 kids, why conservatives continue to believe Trump's lies and what that has to do with the Bible and some wild digressions by me that suggest ADD or mild schizophrenia in just 20 minutes. SUBSCRIBE and THRIVE!!!!!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 119

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 1, 2024 18:04


    In this episode I help a client whose husband has a medical issue she wants to discuss with him but is having.a hard time bringing up.  A Democratic strategist wants to know how long they should use "weird" to describe Republicans.  I advise on that as well as suggest alternatives.  By using "weird" are Democrats going negative or just being honest?  A senior needs to go back to work and I help modernize his resume. And a listener suggests the only spiritual advice anyone needs is-"What would Jesus do?"  Well, if Jesus were alive today... would he take selfies?  How would he act in traffic?  I analyze the situation.  And you only waste 18 minutes of your time to get all that done.  Subscribe and THRIVE!!!!!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 118

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 7, 2024 15:55


    Some people love the Olympics for the gymnastics. Others, just don't get it. Should this lead to divorce? Should the hammer throw use a real hammer? If you didn't know you can make your own tartar sauce are you an idiot? If you're good at playing brew pub trivia does that mean you're smart? Can you turn a disatrous wedding into a goldmine? Do you have 15 minutes to throw away? Subscribe and THRIVE!!! 

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 117

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 24, 2024 14:05


    If someone door dents your car what does the Bible say about you key scratching theirs?  Vengeance and smiting are discussed.  Could inflammatory rhetoric from Biden and the Left have motivated the Trump shooter?  When is it OK to call a fascist a fascist?  Discussing politics in the work lunchrrom-bad idea?  Should Trump's reaction to being shot disqualify him from being President?  If Hitler is involved do any ends justify the means of removing Hitler?  Presidential debates are worthless unless we include the Truth Monitor.  Hear how it sound to have one going during the last presidential debate.  All this in just 14 minutes.  Subscribe and THRIVE!!!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 116

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2024 15:07


    In this episode I make the case Broadway musicals have ruined America, why Mamma Mia is torture, suggest a solution to the situation in Gaza, discuss sibling fighting and how it relates to world history, describe when a nation knows they've lost the fight, deflate a conservative religious argument for God not being evil, make the case for religion BEING the problem, and suggest what to make of a mystery mourner that showed up to a funeral and didn't introduce themselves, all in under 15 minutes.  Subscribe and THRIVE!  

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 115

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 18, 2024 16:07


    In this episode I prove Artificial Intelligence is the devil we should fear the most by recounting my experience with a cyber hottie named Tess who recently tried to seduce me online. I subjected myself to this exprience so you won't have to. And trust me... Tess was all kind of bizarre... scantily clad AND religious! Thankfully, I can see through the current flailing failings of AI but in the future it will be more subtle and effective and men will become its willing slaves. Also, someone wants help with what to and not to put on their headstone and I help as well as provide an alternative to burial. And it all takes less time than most oil changes. Subscribe and THRIVE! 

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 114

    Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2024 17:24


    Reaction to the previous episode was that I veer into odd tangents and in this episode I correct that.  I also respond to my comedian friend who says I demeaned him in 113, that the Saudi Princess totally deserved to be called a ____ and he is not the psychopath I portayed him to be. Well, let's discuss that.  Would at least one of the million monkeys in a room with a million typewriters come up with Shakespeare, as the famous adage claims?  I explain why that's doubtful and how it would be different if they used Bonobos.  Does everyone have their own version of the truth?  Frozen embryos are humans in Alabama now-what's next if we allow religion to be politics and how that could affect the tax code?  I help a client decide if he should get out of a relationship with a drunken big mouth. AND you just won't believe what famous actor is my new patient, coming to me, looking for help.  Subscribe and THRIVE!  

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 113

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2024 19:12


    A client, who grew up in a family that teased hard, often and at each other's expense, wonders if he has crossed the line with a friend or was she being too sensitive.  I try to help him be sure his attempts at humor don't go too far.  I describe the worst thing that I have ever heard of said on a comedy club stage and how it might have affected the price of gasoline.  Is it ever OK to use that horrible word that women hate?  Does foreign royalty deserve the royal treatment here like they get in their messed up homeland?  Did I ever tell you about the time my wife almost killed me on our honeymoon?  Have you ever been saved from sure death by a Fig Newton?  All this in just over 19 minutes.  Subscribe and THRIVE!!!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 112

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2024 14:12


    Right after Easter I got pleas for help from clients whose family members wanted to make their Easter dinners more and/or less religious imbued.  This is why I am a Life Coach.  And I think I have solved the problem for future get togethers on religious holidays.  Also, in the Biblical epic The Greatest Story Ever Told why didn't John Wayne play Jesus?  Could Jesus fly if He wanted to?  I give the elevator pitch for Christianity.  What are the best questions you have ever asked for help with?  And why did the USA fall to 23rd place in the lastest World Happiness Report?  I know who and what to blame.  All that in under 15 minutes.  So, what else were you going to do with that time?  Subscribe and THRIVE!  

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 111

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 22, 2024 19:23


    In this episode I discuss what Catholic nuns and OJ Simspon/Trump-type lawyers have in common as do Purgatory and the Baseball HOF, how to get into Heaven without having accepted Jesus as your personal savior, more on the perils of Artificial Intelligence ruining politics, help a 76 yr. old client update their resume for today's work environment and give kindergartners Life Coach advice via a cautionary fairy tale, as well as describe the worst experience I EVER HAD as a parent and how you can avoid it happening to you, all in under 19 minutes.  Subscribe and THRIVE!   

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 110

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 29, 2024 17:13


    This episode is either my most audacious or obnoxious effort yet. Perhaps both. YOU DECIDE! I respond to those who say I should quit "this charade," help a client not worry about Biden's age by explaining he is not actually driving the nation's bus and make an elaborate and calming Star Wars analogy as to which of that movie's characters Biden represents, and somehow Bill Clinton, interns, the Communications act of 1996, how FOX became a thing, unintended consequences that drove down our national IQ, Lent and chocolate, Trump's character, an artificial intelligence TV commercial with Jesus Christ endorsing a presidential candidate and more all gets packed into a SFX laden mashup that's over in just 17 minutes. You don't have much to lose. SUBSCRIBE and THRIVE!!!!!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 109

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2024 17:32


    You've heard of the Emergency Broadcast Sytem?  The FCC has chosen my podcast to be part of the Emergency Podcast System and I am very pleased to help out.  A client wants to sue after getting into an accident after reading one of those funny road signs some cities and states put up. I give advice. A mother wanted help getting their son's teacher to give him a better grade and I respond. A new client has a morality question about one of the most unique problems I've ever heard concerning playing online poker against an unaware neighbor and binoculars. Ever see an old lady have to crawl away from the communion rail because she couldn't stand up? Is it wrong to find it funny? What would Jesus do? Did Jesus ever make body noise? Would it be funny? What was the worst introduction I was ever given as a comedian? And I use more SFX in this episode than any other. Subscribe and THRIVE!!! 

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 108

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2024 16:35


    Did you know the Boy Scout Motto is one of my life's guiding concepts but not the Boy Scout Oath?  What does trying to save a drowning person and talking to a Trump Supporter have in common?  An angry wife whose husband called her an "old bag" on vacation asks for some quick help to save that vacation.  I have a solution.  What does the Pony Express have to do with the phrase "old bag?"  Is it ever good to return a hurtful comment with a hurtful comment?  A listenr wonders why their doctor doesn't check his prostate anymore and I try to help explain it.  Do you have a prostate exam joke ready to go at your yearly check up?  I do.  How does your voting history affect whether you get a prostrate exam?  Can you raise a moral person without religion?  What is the only downside to having raised my daughter without any awareness of God?  An evangelical Christian with bowel issues asks if there is any situation where it is OK to lie.  Is lying to a spouse the same sin as lying to a stranger on a bus?  Does Ohio have a problem?  You've got questions.  I've got answers.  Subscribe and THRIVE!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 107

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 5, 2024 15:16


    Wouldn't it be nice to know what the future holds?  Well, now you can.  In this episode I give my annual "They will all come true or your money back, totally guaranteed" predictions for 2024.  Find out who will be President, the new changes in baseball, what new crypto currencies to avoid, the next steps in climate change, will Aaron Rodgers ever shut up, will there be a gay float in the Macy's Day Parade and many more bankable prognostications for the next twelve months.  I know the future.  Now you can, too.  Did you ever think I'd find a religion I could recommend?  I have and my support for this religion hinges on a friend who played hockey without a cup and how that relates to Deuteronomy 23:1.  All this in just 15 minutes.  So much to gain, nothing to lose--Subscribe and THRIVE!   

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 106

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2023 15:25


    In episode 106 I respond to negative feedback about episode 105 and just let me say, to the Uber Left, if you're all about protecting the oppressed... protect me because now I am the oppressed... by you.  Also, is religion 'a' or 'the' problem in the world?  What is the true meaning of Christmas for Americans?  I have audio of my then 6 year old daughter describing exactly what Christmas means and it's adorable.  Can a whole ethnicity ever be said to be bad drivers and it not be racist?  Does emotion mess up your perception of reality?  And would an AI remake of "It's A Wonderful Life" into "It's A Wonderful Lust" starring Donna Reed and Jimmy Stewart as you've never seen them before be immoral or the best Christmas movie ever?  This is 16 minutes you won't mind wasting.  Subscribe and THRIVE!!!!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 105

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2023 17:08


    A client has asked his Life Coach/Spiritual Guru (me) to answer the most most provocative question I've ever been asked-"Is today's Uber Left too liberal to be critical of Muslims?"  In this episode I take the bait and skate out onto super thin ice to discuss the Left and Right, Muslims and Jews and Christians, Palestine and Israel, hot dogs vs. kabobs, Jesus vs. Muhammed, "The Blues Brothers" movie and the ACLU, the Immaculate Conception, kudzu vines, who owns the moon, maintaining your spot on the coach by saying "saved," why Catholics celebrate the day Jesus was born but not conceived, the funniest thing my daughter has ever said and more in an attempt to answer that question.  I sincerely apologize in advance if you hate my answer or for even having attempted one.  And all that happens in just 17 minutes.  Subscribe and THRIVE!!!!  

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 104

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2023 17:53


    In episode #104 I respond to ongoing blowback from younger generations who want me to just "Die Baby Boomer, die."  If you hate disco is it because you're racist or homophobic?  Or just have good taste?  A new client has a dilemma over her daughter's unique name and that name being mocked by a former friend, I try to help by revisting the story of Udo Whonall.  Should a woman who stole a man from another woman attend that man's funeral if the woman who had him first insists the home wrecker not be there?  Why are Beatles records and funerals inextricably linked in my mind? Another new client wonders if the evil internet is spying on him or is he just being paranoid and what does all that have to do with enlarged prostates and self-examination?  All this happens in under 18 minutes. Subscribe and THRIVE!  Enlightenment is just a click away.

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 103

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2023 14:52


    In episode 103 I answer continuing questions from you listeners about my recent memory failings and credibility as a Life Coach and Spiritual Guru. My memory is fine. Can you recall with certainty what you wore to your High School Prom? I can. My pants were the color of Trix breakfast cereal and I have pictures to prove it. Although, I am pretty sure I never opened for the Great Raspini. So, yes, some past memories of mine might be... unfounded. Some of you were offended by my blaming disco for turning America to Reagan-- I explain the connection. And Baby Boomers--are we to blame for the world's ills? Younger generations think so and I set out to prove they are wrong... at least about a lot of us Boomers being the problem as well as which ones are to blame. But, if it's true we Boomers saw the the world's doors as always open to us I think I know why. All that in under 15 minutes. With Sound Effects galore. Subscribe and THRIVE!!! 

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 102

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2023 16:17


    A shocking new revelation about the past has led me to seriously question my own memory and thus abilities to be a Life Coach. I'm asking myself questions like-Who am I? Do I really exist? Did I really get an archery merit badge while tripping on mescaline? Did I ever open for a magician named The Great Raspini? Can we even marginally trust the jury system and eye witness accounts? And why being a music snob and disc jockey helped me see how disco and the current state of the Republican Party are inextricably linked. Also, if you're dumping on Biden you're a knob. All in 16:16 of snappy paced banter. Subscribe and THRIVE!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 101

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2023 16:06


    In this episode I respond to conservatives who believe liberals want to give sex toys to kindergartners, warn them they are going to Hell (if it exists) because of this lie, the what you win/what you lose equation for Drag Queen Story Hour performers reading to kids in libraries, I help a woman whose husband treats her like a verbal punching bag by targeting her with jokes and how to stop it, discuss the traits of resilient people and offer a newsletter tip sheet for unresilient people having trouble living in troubled times and reveal why a great uncle working for the Irish Mob in Chicago may have helped me become a Life Coach, all in under 17 minutes. Subscribe and THRIVE!!!!!!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 100

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2023 17:22


    In episode 100 we find out how easy we humans are to manipulate and one techinique to watch out for in particular, I had two women in the same comedy show audience who each shot a moose and what we can learn from them about climate change, I help a Baby Boomer with memory issues, explain why Jewish comics have a built in advanatge and talk from the heart, opening up like I never have before, about some family history and how it led me to being your Life Coach and Spiritual Guru.  And it's over before you know it.  Subscribe and THRIVE!!!  

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 99

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2023 17:35


    In episode 99 I talk about some of my all-time favorite words, answer a devout Christian's challenge to Agnosticism and contention that America's divorce rate is high because we've turned our back on God, and warn her not to let her guard down because Satan (if he exists) is everywhere, discuss what it means if your marriage is blessed by God (if He exists), help a client whose comfort animal is a goldfish and needs to fly, advise a woman whose boyfriend is in love but she just likes the sex, and suggest what you should say to your younger self if you ever had the chance PLUS lots of sound effects. All in 19 minutes. Subscribe and THRIVE!!!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 98

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 9, 2023 18:06


    In episode 98 I expose the world's greatest evil. His name is Jon Haney and I describe why. Why phone scams might mean the end of civilization. Is NPR a Debbie/Donald/They downer? Is it possible someone's name should disqualify them from being a pilot? Is Hell a dry or humid heat? What does the Bible have to say about that and how could it affect your lifestyle choices? Good intentions gone bad-I have scars. What's mreo important-- your intentions or results? Best punk band name ever? And why I am certainly voting for Biden, again. You have problems, I have solutions. Subscribe and THRIVE!   

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 97

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 22, 2023 16:14


    Thanks to you An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven was ranked one the top 15 agnostic podcasts by Feedspot.com. I don't know if they're saying that because it's true or because they want me to subscribe to their "service" to further expand the audience but it's kind of good news/or not. Today--when did I first know I was agnostic, I respond to a sharp listener who pointed out why a parable commencement speakers use is stupid, some listener feedback on composting human bodies, I take on the challenge to say something negative about liberals, discuss the difference between liberal and conservative folk music, why "Puff the Magic Dragon" is such a stupid song and would never have happened the way they said it did, a few ways to determine if you're old, and a response to a woman who resents stereotypes-- all in under 18 minutes. Subscribe and thrive!  

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 96

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 8, 2023 18:25


    Did you know at night I fight crime wearing a Batman Halloween costume? It's just another way I am giving back. In episode 95 I gave a commencement address that some thought a tad pessimistic and I respond with ways our grads can change the world. Why am I agnostic? I explain. What would it take for me to believe in a God? What does it mean to be a man? I believe Artificial Intelligence will end the world. I make the argument to ban AI. AI has written symphonies but is really bad at jokes. I have the proof.  Would we ever know if we were invaded by aliens? Beyond burials and cremation what can we do to dispose of human bodies? You have questions, I have the answers in 19 minutes. Subscribe and THRIVE!!!!!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 95

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2023 18:15


    In this episode I hear it from 2nd amendment types on banning Lawn Darts and AR-15s, why some should stay out of the gene pool, could we de-evolve and lose our opposable thumbs, the downside if Trump is in prison, I've ruined someone's relationship with his sons and apologize, should parents be their kids friends, what do dandelions and Jesuits converting native people's have to do with each other, are there places in Hell better than the bowels AND I give the commencement address our graduates need to hear but never do. All in less than 19 minutes. Subscribe and THRIVE!!!!  

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 94

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 26, 2023 19:09


    In episode 94 we discuss if any or all the Gods exist and what that means for your weekend. A client worries her kids are addicted to video games and I assure her they are in league with the DEVIL and what she should do about it. Every generation thinks the next generation is destroying the culture. Are we right this time? Why I think the Second Coming (if the God that promised it exists) would be a good thing. Or at least good television. If we could ban lawn darts why can't we ban AR-15's? What does a riot at an Easter Egg hunt tell us about people? Is it fair to be punished for what you did in someone's dream? You have questions. I have answers. And it's all over in a snappy 18 minutes. SUBSCRIBE AND THRIVE!!!!!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 93

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 6, 2023 17:08


    Just in time for Easter--He IS Risen or He HAS Risen?  If we're banning books in schools should we start with THE HOLY BIBLE?  I read parts of it that are Hitchcock/Tarantino/50 Shades of Grey territory so you can decide. Can vegetarians opt out of the Lamb of God portions of the liturgy? Should there be peanut butter and mint jelly sandwiches? Are nuns the most vicious women on Earth? I discuss a psych experiement I remember that proved they just might be. You have problems, I have solutions. And in this episode I've taken the overuse of sound effects to an all new level. Best of all, it's all over in 17 minutes. So, who am I hurting? Subscribe and THRIVE!!!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 92

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 26, 2023 16:42


    In episode 92 I help a client who wants to identify as a Sapien instead of a huMAN, what we can learn about non-binary pronoun usage from Japanese people not being able to pronounce L's, why we need gender categories, what to do when your 8 year old sees a racist phrase on a school's bathroom wall, or what to think when a 3td grade teacher breast feeds her baby in class, and I try to help someone whose political ideology has warped their perception of Marjorie Taylor Greene and it's all over in just 17 minutes. It's good and it's good for you.  SUBSCRIBE and THRIVE!!!!!  

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 91

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 9, 2023 16:51


    It's Lent.  I help a client pick what to give up to honor the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Another client had a DNA test- he is NOT Lutheran but Jewish. I advise on how to proceed. Someone wonders why Jesus appears to be a blue-eyed European and not a Middle Eastern Jew in the paintings. I have a theory. The worst mother-in-law ever! We may have found her. I devise a survival strategy for a new client. And another emailer wants to know if they saw the hand of God or Karma at work and it involves a dead cat. All in under 17 minutes accompanied by too many sound effects. Subscribe and THRIVE!  

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 90

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 20, 2023 16:16


    Some of you didn't listen closely enough to EP 89.  I was NOT kidnapped by circus animals, as I wrote in my phony autobiography, Forest of Ennui.  But thanks for your concern. One of you thinks I should give up on golf, I explain why I can't, we discuss why professional miniature golf was bad TV, why axe throwing in bars is fun but stay away from political arguments, a visit to the Bobblehead Museum in Milwaukee, I tell a lie but the Truth Monitor catches me, I counsel a Jewsih client worried that veggie bacon is an abomination, and guess why a Home Depot clerk reacted poorly to a client who might have been a psycho killer and the advice I gave to them and any angry people who want to shoot up public places all in 16 minutes.  Subscribe and THRIVE!!!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 89

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 6, 2023 19:09


    In this episode I explain why I don't want patients to have my phone number (I screwed up someone's life), dementia and adult education, if intercourse is making love is foreplay making like, advise some murder mystery podcasters with a serious moral dilemma, discuss is stealing ideas immoral or just show business and read an excerpt from my I-made-up-a-horrible-childhood-backstory-so-you'll-feel-sorry-for-me-and-buy-my-book phony memoir called Forest of Ennui. It only takes 19 minutes you weren't going to be doing much with anyway. Subscribe and THRIVE!!!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 88

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2023 17:42


    Episode 88 features my first use of a dirty word, what famous stripper Carol Doda taught me, how fireworks produced our nervous daughter, woke people (over)respond to my road-kill-pigeon-funeral analysis, is a flamethrower totin' guy dressed as The Joker shooting fireballs at cars nuts, the 2nd Amendment, Creeping Charlie, my wife and a friend were stoned in Chinatown, why are actresses nearly naked at the Oscars and my newest client is 23 and has two pregnant girlfriends. You won't find all that anywhere else. Subscribe and THRIVE!  

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 87

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 8, 2023 16:05


    In this episode I make my annual you-can-take-them-to-the-bank New Year's predictions-Ukraine, Trump, McCarthy, bacon flavored marijuana, Covid, the Oscars... I know the future and now you can, too. We hear from a client who dosed her mother-in-law with THC Christmas cookies, from someone who, as a child, saw me play emaciated, angey Santa on TV and what happened to them (I still have nightmares), discuss if having a funeral for a roadkill pigeon is too woke and how a baking powder powered submarine bath toy was instrumental in my sexual education. All in 16 minutes. Subscribe and THRIVE!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 86

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2022 19:20


    Just in time for the holidays- I give the only true meaning of Christmas and/or holiday season, my best and worst Christmas memories including playing Santa, in costume, very badly on TV and freaking out kids and parents, why when you see the image of Santa I see a dead bat, why a truckload of abandoned potatoes was the best toy ever, playing army with sticks, how to handle a snippy mother-in-law and advise a client on serving THC edibles instead of martinis before a holiday feast, all in 19 minutes.  Subscribe and THRIVE!  

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 85

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2022 17:01


    In recent episodes I came up with non-cliche things to say at funerals which struck a nerve with some of you. Today, I strike back. Just in time for Xmas I am selling An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven-The Board Game. A client has naked neighbors in a hot tub and his wife wants him to build a fence. Should he? For the first time ever I recommend a divorce. Helicopter parents and what might not be a temporary tattoo on their daughter. A client fears eating the food at the holiday office party. Sick freaks are everywhere and I have advice, all in 17 minutes. Subscribe and THRIVE!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 84

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2022 15:31


    In ep. 84 I respond to your responses to ep. 83 because some people just can't shut up or be happy, again discuss what to say at funerals, advise a Lutheran client who just found out he's Jewish, discuss if we are our genetics or culture or just who we say we are, anaylze the story of the unluckiest guy in the world, opine on why aliens don't stop to give us advice, help with whether to say "Thank you for your service," describe how we honored my Dad's war injury and more, all in under 16 minutes.  Subscribe and THRIVE!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 83

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2022 16:32


    In this episode I help the worst patient I've ever had to endure- a classic "Karen," explain why my lawyer doesn't want me to see patients in person, is ageism the hot new prejudice, wonder if 'with age comes wisdom' is true, did Native American elders screw the pooch when they let the Pilgrims ashore, help a patient determine if her new beau is a real moron or just an idiot and help someone avoid cliches like 'I'm sorry for your loss,' etc. at a funeral but still say something meaningful... hopefully, anyway.  All in just 16 minutes. Subscribe and THRIVE!

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 82

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2022 18:26


    Episode 82 deals with more proof God (if there is one) hates me, I help a client whose toddler poops the bed to protest a new baby being in the house, examine liberal vs. conservative thinking, determine if the stereotype of women being shoe-obsessed is fair, expose what the "Wizard of Oz" was really all about, discuss if the Polish are stupid or just absent minded, investigate the myth Mr. Rogers was a Navy Seal sniper and killed the guy who played Eddie Haskell on "Leave It To Beaver" in Viet Nam and suggest what you can do to make the world a saner place. Subscribe and THRIVE!  

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 81

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2022 16:47


    In episode 81 I help a polyamorous client figure out how to bring two men to her Mom's house for Christmas, explain why we need to tax the hell out of the rich, predict why the Trumps end up in Moscow, determine if it's moral to root for a neighbor's death so you can get their kidney, devise an experiment to see if prayer helps pro athletes and explain how magic works while SC Judge Brett Kavanaugh makes an appearance plus so much more all in under 18 minutes. Subscribe and THRIVE!  

    An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven with Tim Bedore Episode 80

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2022 17:23


    If a man is marrying a man who dresses like a woman when do you tell  your parents about everything that's under the wedding dress?  What ruined America and how can we fix it?  If you could take one person out of history who would it be?  A client sees no reason to go on because he's not made a mark on the world.  I offer a different perspective that has to do with Elvis dying on the toilet.  Ever eat a sandwich that has a pound of bacon?  Should you trust carpet cleaning ads on the radio?  You have questions and I have answers.  Survive and THRIVE!    

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