Podcast appearances and mentions of michael hebb

This SHINE podcast episode is on how by facing and preparing for death, we are able to live more meaningful and purposeful lives. We all are born and we all will die. In this interview, we speak about how to talk about death as a way to foster deeper connection, healing, and growth at work, in our communities, and at home. We address the importance of bringing awareness and meditation practices to grieve effectively. Lastly, we talk about how bringing generations together over dinner can support us to solve some of the larger problems at work and in the world. This inspiring episode will support you to live a more meaningful life with less regrets. Episode Links: Compassion & Choices Death over Dinner What happens when death is what is for dinner? Ted Talk Reef Grief Article & coping resources Is this how you feel? Website formed to name and witness grief in community Book of Regrets SHINE Links: Thank you for listening. Want to build a high trust, innovative, and inclusive culture at work? Sign up for our newsletter and get the free handout and be alerted to more inspiring Shine episodes Building Trust Free Gift Carley Links: LinkedIn Consultation Call with Carley Book Carley for Speaking Leading from Wholeness Learning & Development Carley's Book Executive Coaching with Carley Well Being Resources: Inner Game Meditations Inner Game Leadership Assessment Social: LinkedIn IG Website Shine Podcast Page Imperfect Shownotes Hi, welcome to the shine podcast. My name is Carley Hauck. I'm your host, this is the fifth season of the shine podcast. I started the shine podcast as a way of doing research for my book on conscious leadership in business. And you will find interviews with scientists, researchers and business leaders on the intersection of conscious inclusive leadership, the recipe for high performing teams and awareness practices. My book debuted in 2021 Shine ignite your inner game of conscious leadership and was voted one of the best books to read in 2022. By mindful magazine, I facilitate two episodes a month of the shine podcast. And before I tell you about the topic for today, please go over to Apple podcasts or your favorite podcast carrier and hit the subscribe button so you don't miss any future episodes. The focus of this season is on the essentials for wellbeing. And that encompasses the intersection of our personal well being the collective well being of our workplace, and how that fosters and nurtures the planet's well being they are all connected. I focus on well being this season, because I really want to crack the code and inspire folks to prioritize their individual well being and therefore that will transcend into the collective and the planet's well being. And I have developed a inner game leadership assessment that I gave out to 100 different leaders last year. And the leadership assessment is based on the framework of the inner game, which is what we're cultivating on the inside to be conscious leaders. And it shows up on the outside when we cultivated the certain qualities. And two of the nine leadership competencies that were lowest from the sample of 100 leaders were psychological and physical well being. Therefore, that is why we are focusing on well being and if you're curious about where your strengths and gaps are around the qualities to become a conscious leader, you can take the assessment and find out your score for free. I recently opened to the assessment tool to the public, and the link will be in the show notes. Now onto our episode. Hello shine podcast listeners. I am here with my new friend Michael Michael HEB, who is the founder of death over dinner, drugs over dinner, and generations over dinner. He currently serves as a board advisor at the Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy at Tufts, and is the primary editor of COVID paper. His second book, let's talk about death was published by Hashem in the US, UK and Australia in October of 2018. and Russia, China, Taiwan, Indonesian, Poland and Romania in the fall of 2019, and will soon be published in Finland. Wow. That's incredible. Michael, so happy to have you here. Oh, my goodness, this conversation is going to be amazing. Can't wait. Thanks for being here. Of course, credit. Thanks for having me. So to start off in the deep end, which I know you and I swimmin. Often, I'd love if you could share some of your childhood story of losing your father to dementia, and how that experience inspired a movement to support millions in gathering and holding space as we prepare for death. Yeah, well, when I was in second grade, I didn't know that it would inspire valiance. For one, I was very much you know, just a regular seven year old, seven year old, eight year old and my father was quite a bit older than most fathers. He was born in 1904 in the Yukon Gold Rush in a minor shed and Dawson during the the like epicenter of the Yukon Gold Rush. And so he was 72 years old when I was born, which is becoming less and less unique. I think we just found out Al Pacino is going to have another child, but at at something, but back then this was quite a surprising thing. And I think it's a kind of an amazing thing in a challenging thing to be sold and to have a child because you don't know how long you're going to be around for them. But I was a bit of a surprise. And in second grade, my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, full blown Alzheimer's, it wasn't early onset, his symptoms were severe at that point, and then was put into a, a nursing home. And those were really rough years, my mother was not resourced to know how to manage our lives. Very few would be, and we lived in a great deal of chaos. And he died when I was 13. On on Halloween, actually. And our family didn't know how to talk about his illness, didn't know how to talk about his inevitable death, didn't know how to talk about our grief. And so we started really avoiding each other, which in many way was was the healthiest thing we could do. Because when you have a secret or a traumatic centerpiece to your family relationship, every time you're around those family members, there's cortisol and all kinds of things flooding your system. And so we really grew apart pretty quickly. And it had a lot of impact on the family structure where you know, much later and we'll talk about death over dinner, it served as the inspiration for inspiring people to talk about death, mortality, life limiting illness, dementia, because I didn't want anybody else to have to go through what I experienced the type of alienation, isolation, depression, confusion, anger, and the whole rainbow of emotion that I had to go through, basically alone until many mentors started to show up in my life. But the the death itself on Halloween was, was a seismic event in my life, and not for the reasons you might think. The grief wasn't overwhelming immediately, there was a kind of void that I felt when I woke up the morning and Halloween, and I knew that he died even though there was no one telling me so there's just a known sense, I'd actually had the previous night woken up at 3:43am, the exact moment that his heart stopped without knowing why. And then when I woke up again, later on that day, I was very clear, like, my dad's died, and I ended up going to school, because I wasn't going to just hang out with my mom and my brother. That didn't seem like a good place to go, or to be. And so I went to school on Halloween and Halloween when you're 13 is a big deal. And I ended up going out with friends that night, I didn't tell a single person that day that my father had died. And looking back on it, I think that was a pretty smart strategy. The realization that I had either consciously or just knew in my bones, at that time was my friend group didn't have the ability to deal with the weight of that kind of information. Kids are much more emotionally intelligent these days than they were 30 some years ago. And so I went out with my friends on Halloween night and did the type of things that 13 year olds do. I think we TPT some houses and eggs, some cars and drink some and essentially were assholes. And this thing happened to me because I was holding this whole new reality that my my dad had died, which no one I knew could relate to. And looking around my friends and what we were involved in the way we related to each other, and really just the world. I had this sense of being separate from it and watching it almost film nicly seeing these things from a from a removed space and questioning. If we act like this, why do we relate to each other? Why is there conversation about meaning? Shit, I hope I can swear on your ad snapped to, I can totally be yourself. Yeah,apparently it's a sign of intelligence, I just read a recent report. But nonetheless, I felt separate from my social group. And in in that separation, I started to ask really big questions. And that is really where my spirituality took shape was in those questions, and their questions about what are we doing here? Is there something more than this? Is there a right way to live? Have people known about living connected to something larger than the cell in the past, and took a great deal of interest in poetry and Eastern spirituality and mysticism? Gnosticism a long list of question askers. And that really set me on a completely different course than I would have been happily skipping down. So really, really a big change for not not exactly the reasons you would expect, when you use the term seismic, you know, change? And I would say yes, for sure. And, you know, before this conversation, I did a lot of research and trying to get to know you, and different interviews and things that you have recorded. And I learned about your early meditation practice, and part of how that came to be. And I was touched, because we both started meditating, and really having these deeper questions and interest around the same time, even though I, I imagine we're probably a similar age. And I also grew up in a family where, and still have a family where I'm keenly sensitive to emotions of myself and others, and the planet, and my, you know, nuclear family is not. And in some ways, I felt like an alien. And really kind of stuffed those for a long time, but had to find other ways and other tools to really understand myself and similar to you, like, understand, why am I here? And you know, what is the reason that I am being called to be here at this time. And, you know, when we, when we think about meditation and Buddhism, Siddhartha had a very similar journey, right? He was he was living in this, you know, Castle, not no suffering, really, except that is that his mother passed at an early age. But then he went outside of the palace walls one day and saw the four heavenly messengers, you probably familiar of this, of this table, or fable, rather, one was a sick person, an old man, a corpse, and aesthetic. And so he went on, you know, the aesthetic path to try to understand why these things happen. But we all know that we're gonna die, like every single one of us is going to die. And we don't know when that is going to happen. And so I wanted to bring you on because of a lot of his own inquiry around death for myself, but also, how do we use death, knowing it's coming, knowing that in some ways, humanity is facing very grave ecological death, which we'll go into a little bit later, to live the most meaningful life that we can right now? Yeah, well, I mean, in many ways, we can unlock what our life's meaning is, without that kind of rupture, without facing our mortality. And for most people, it happens in the middle of their life. This is you know, what Richard Rohr calls the second half of life and talks about and falling upward. And that that is just kind of naturally an age where people that are meaningful to us start dying. Right, some of us are, you know, gifted or cursed with a meaningful death. early in life, if you don't embrace it, or let it embrace you or if you repress it, or run away from it, then it can be a curse. But if you do the hard work of facing, whether that's when you're 13, or 30, or 40, or 50, or 60, or 70. The gifts that you get are really the answers to why I'm here. It's it's in many ways, the strongest medicine there is and there's a lot of talk these days and a lot of experience around psychedelic medicine, for instance, many of your users or, or listeners are experienced or curious. almost everybody's read Michael Pollan's book, how to change your mind, it seems. And we talk about the strength of that medicine, right, because it allows us to connect to something larger than ourselves connect to our, our history, our traumas, some of these big questions we find in a lot of psychedelic plant medicines, experiences that are held in the right container. Death, it's arguably more powerful, a medicine, and it's sitting right here. Yeah, right beside us, whether we acknowledge it or not. And, and it's a little bit easier to integrate, quite frankly, and then a psychedelic experience. And, you know, a lot of those medicines, actually kind of the core thinking around those medicines is they give us the ability to die before we die, so that we don't have to die when we die. And this is the this was the reason that people went to Eleusis, the mysteries in in, in Greece for 2000 years, 30,000 people a year, would go to a Lusas, to drink BurgerTime beer, to have an experience where a part of themselves would die. So that they realized that life, what was important about life, what the meaning was, what they were doing there. And you know that that experience is available to all of us by turning and facing or grief or any number of things. I agree. And I you know, just to circle back to meditation. Gosh, there's so many, there's so many ways that we could go because I love to have the plant medicine discussion with you as well. And I, I believe you're very right. I think a lot of people in some ways are actually just using the medicine to escape again. And they're not actually integrating. I mean, you're finding this altered state of consciousness, which, frankly, you can find meditating. And I've done both. And there's not a lot of difference for me personally. And only the medicine just brings me to that point faster. But I've done years and years and years of silent meditation. And one of the things that I'm so grateful about meditation is that Vipassana, which is coming from the Tera Vaada. And Buddhist tradition, actually learned this several years ago, on a silent retreat at Spirit Rock meditation center, it means to grieve effectively, because every moment is passing this moment right now, between you and I will never happen again, quite like this, ever. And so I'm present to it. And there's a loss and that, here it goes. Yeah, letting it go. Yeah, sometimes we have to be well, I think we do have to build be able to face the big D, yes, the two really come to terms with the small D's that we face all of the time, and not grasp on to that which is constantly changing, right? Because that's what people's primarily, their primary complaints are really around the small days, you know, anxiety, depression, all of these things have that we suffer from on a regular basis have so much to do with dealing with the fact that things are constantly changing. Right? Right. Yeah. Yeah. And how do we how do we practice getting, you know, little and, and to be in flow with a world that is constantly changing? Right? And so that's why I told tell people and teach people that, you know, death is this really powerful medicine because one, you, you do want to drink from that cup, you, you will be facing the big D at some point. And you want to be present to that. And you want to be able to learn from the experience as the aperture of your life gets smaller and smaller. There's a lot of great richness in that I've seen people complete a whole hero's journey in their last hour on this planet and change things generationally, and do healing for people who, you know, their future ancestors, they'll never meet on death's door. Right? But not if we're grasping. Not if we haven't surrendered, not if we're not present to it. And in the present moment, same thing. We're not going to be able to have an access to the beauty of the moment, or whatever it is. It's not just beauty, the is of the moment if grasping, flailing, reacting struggling in fight or flight or freeze, unless we have some sort of practice round. I mean, some of my good friends started the flow Institute's flow Institute, Steven Kotler, and Jamie Weil. And there's a lot of talk about flow these days and to be in flow. And I give those guys a hard time. It's like you're teaching people all of these great techniques, but the most important technique you could be teaching it was to deal with death and go, yeah, and they've incorporated some of that. And we actually hosted the first flow Institute, gathering together years before their other best seller. So there's just a lot there. And it's scary for people. This isn't, I'm not saying this with the idea that you shouldn't have apprehension or that it's easy. But there have been a lot of people who looked at our impermanence, looked at death, looked at grief, and have lit those canyons, and lit those dark forests for us. So you're, you're not alone. And you will get immediate vitality, from the work that people do around this. And I know you work with leaders and, you know, one of one of the kind of most ironic slash funniest uses of death over dinner, which is a initiative I started to get people to talk about end of life and, you know, millions of people have taken part in this. I was gonna ask you about that. Yeah. If we'll come back to continue. Yeah, I'll give. I'll let you lead me into some framing but Deloitte, Europe, one of the leading firms, when it comes to giving advice and creating strategy for the biggest brands in the world, most people know Deloitte. Yes, started using Deloitte, Europe started using depth over dinner at the beginning of their, their corporate retreats for their big clients. And yeah, and found and people were able to have conversations about what do they want to be remembered for? What do they want to have happen to their body? You know, song would be one at their funeral. If they had 30 days left to live, what would they do with it? How would they feel that that unlocks so much connection between the people that were there and humanity, way below the watermark of their strategy, or with you know, their brand, and it also unlocked a tremendous amount of creativity? Right? People feel free to try out new ideas and to play with each other's ideas. So, you know, there's there's a lot, there's a lot there in this space that has big No Trespassing signs all over it for us. Thank you. Well, there's a couple of questions that I have that are bubbling. I mean, first, I'd love to hear well, and even before I, I asked you a question, just my responses, you know, in my experience, working with lots of different, you know, senior people, leaders and stakeholders and various companies, business is only as good as the relationships that people are forming. If there isn't psychological safety, trust, the ability to believe that this person has my back, and we are connected and we are connected towards something of greater purpose, people will not stay, they will not perform, they will not feel they belong, and they will not bring their best to work or that workplace. That has been my experience. And so, I think what we are craving most, and especially since the pandemic is connection, is meaning is purpose, and how do we build that together and then align, you know, in powerful actions together. And I just think that is that is what is happening in the workplace. There is a death of the old workplace that was profit above everything else, thank goodness, but it's slow. It's slow. There's there's still a certain you know, group of leaders that are holding on to that. Lynne twist has been a huge mentor to me and wrote the foreword of my book and I remember when I first heard her speak years ago, she said we are hospice sing out. You know, these Oh, have systems and structures that will not support the new world. Because we have to embrace that, or we don't have a path forward. And so I, I'm excited for the death let it die. But let's hospice it out, right? Because then we can let go more effectively. Yeah, well, I mean, the pandemic, arguably, threw a wrench in some of that, at least from the human connection side. It gave us something that we have in common to connect around, it made grief public, that made mental health public, it made that those topics went from being taboo, which we can talk about the word taboo if we want, because it's a completely misunderstood word. But from things that were not appropriate conversations, to being very appropriate, very common conversation, especially in the millennial communities, some of us that are a little bit older, catching up with millennials and that ability to talk about things openly. But it also just, it did separate us. And it's hard to create deep connections in the workplace, when this is how we're connecting when it's just over zoom, or maybe not even zoom, it's just over email. I hope Len is right below her very much. If you're listening, Man, I miss you. Let's talk soon. And I do I do really have hope that that is the direction that we're going. Right now, this seems like we're going a lot of different directions. So where it's hard to know,it's a little chaotic, for sure. Well, I want to hear more about the process of death over dinner, so you can share with our listeners of how they can engage in that, I also wanted to speak to you about how you have understood the difference between for example, sadness, and grief. Because it's a felt experience. And, you know, there's, there's a lot of numbing, there's a lot of avoiding that. And I just think that in order to really be more comfortable in talking about our own death, we have to be willing to feel the grief. So So start with that, the movement of death over dinner, the process, I'm gonna leave links in the show notes. And I have gone through the process a couple times, a couple dinners, and also have a guess, some insights that are not around that, but just even just some of the my own practices around death that I might insert in in our conversation if we have time. I love it. Well, death over dinner came out of the well, at this point. It's over 20 years of convening people to talk about difficult topics at the dinner table. I realized pretty early on in my career as an architect my backgrounds actually in architecture, that I didn't need to build any new structures, I was building places for people to gather and connect. As an architect. That was the focus of my young career. And then I realized that the dinner table does that, with me needing to file a building permit or raise millions of dollars for said structure. We just forgotten how to use the dinner table. And needed to remember, we've remembered how, to some extent to garden and farm and put great food on the table thanks to Alice Waters in the slow food movement, all this incredible work that's been done on the front side. But very little has been done around what happens when they actually sit down with that beautiful food or have that famous chef cook for us. And so we don't have a virtuous cycle. Back to the table. We have it as a kind of fetishized entertainment, almost like a Martha Stewart shot something not a oh, I want to be there having that experience. How do I get back there that richness comes from people being vulnerable, sharing stories around their lives. And now we just talked about succession when we get to a dinner table or whatever people are watching on TV. Probably 75% of the dinner conversation is happening over tables and or we're not paying attention to the Food, you know, or being even mindful of our consumption. I started off in the corporate space, engaging people in meditation through mindful eating of chocolate. I did not do the raisin that was not going to get their attention. But I've I've always really loved just bringing people's attention. Yes to, to food to connection to our connection to food, and therefore the greater the greater world. Yeah, which is great work. But then we also have to connect with the people at the table. And that was the kind of soft architecture that I got really interested in, what is the history of it? What is the history of the Athenian symposium that brought together you know, Plato and Aristotle was the history of the Jewish Seder. What's the history of the Bloomsbury group? Gertrude Stein's tables, so the Black Panthers Sunday brunches, like, what what has been this role how people use this space, the dinner table, because we're drawn to it naturally. It's like the watering hole on the savanna, all different types. For food, we, we come and we get saved, save it, and then we go back to her our lives. If we were eating together, a lot of people don't eat together. But so I started doing dinners with incredible folks and Presidents and Nobel Prize winners and people that are living on the streets and people that are struggling with mental illness, and you name it, dinner after dinner after dinner in every country, or every continent, and so many places, so many just wild settings. It's hard to even think about, and I've had to forget many of them, because there's been too many, and having hard conversations like how do we end genocide? How do we enhance closeness? How do we end the gender gap? Then I realized that I wasn't going to be able to reach the number of people that I wanted to reach. And I also didn't want to just be working with leaders. I don't believe in a trickle down model. I believe in a grassroots model, I really even think change actually happens from the ground up. And so wanted to create a social ritual that people could enact, all over the world could scale and was free very much like the Jewish Seder, actually, the ER a Shabbat dinner, but with a little bit more of a program, a theme. And so death over dinner was our answer to that. I was working with some great designers and graduate students, I was teaching at the University of Washington, in the Graduate School of Communications and decided to teach a course entirely based around building a platform called death over dinner. And we did and now it's become this global phenomenon. And what it is, is, it's an invitation. First and foremost, we're talking about facing mortality, or death, grief and people Oh, that's great. And you say that there's ways into this, but how well, here's one. Like, we're gonna give people an invitation that isn't a thick book, it is a dinner party, and you liked dinner parties. And so here's the invitation, come to dinner and talk about death. And it can be because you're grieving, because you have a loved one who has a terminal diagnosis, it could be because you have early onset Alzheimer's, you don't know how to talk to your family about it, but it's gonna be more and more of us. And so we built this beautiful website and its limitation and then created scripts for people. So your intention, why you want to have the dinner, or the conversation, you select on the website, and then it auto generates the scripts and allows you to pick some homework based upon that intention. So very different scripts for somebody who's grieving versus somebody who's interested for spiritual or religious reasons in a conversation. And then people sit down, and they have this experience where they don't have to think about what are the questions, it's all laid out. And there's a ritual in the beginning and a ritual in the end, and it works. Good, give people some good food and some structure and have someone you know, kind of hold the space for it, lead it, you know, who is whoever is inviting the conversation? Yeah, it's, it's beautiful. And then I've only done three, you know, personally, and I, I actually invited my parents, maybe like two months ago, and they they turned me down. They said, No, we don't want to talk about this, because we have a lot of friends that are dying right now. And it was it was too much, but I am not giving up. Because I I just think it's so important to talk about. Yeah, I'll just leave it at Yeah. Well, I mean, let's talk about that. Because if If you are lining up and saying like, Oh, I want to do I want to have that conversation, if someone's listening to this podcast and be like, I'm interested in that, or if there's any like, no, no, no, you know, putting their fingers in their ears. We can talk to both of those people right now. So if you are excited about it, and you're saying, I want to have this conversation with my parents, my spouse, my best friends, my co workers, my kids, you are gonna get nose? Yep. You if you're excited about it, you are more excited about it than many of the people in your life, I promise you. And so here's the thing. The people in your life do want to talk about it. Yeah. But inviting them is tricky. can be tricky. It's not tricky. Some people are just gonna be like, hell yes. And I'm gonna bring all my friends too. And some people will be like, Hell, no, I'm never gonna have this conversation. But here's the thing. If we acted like, most people act, or at the end of life conversation, the death conversation, if we acted that way, like we do around love and work, we would never find love, and we would never have a job. So your parents said, No. But you know, how did you ask them? And you tried one way. And there are many different ways. And I think of it more of as a courtship. Right? Well, and and just just to share a little more, I sent that to them over email, as an initial conversation. I actually, at that time, was living in Costa Rica. And we hadn't had a deeper discussion, I had no idea that my father had a law school friend that was like literally going to be dying a week from that moment. So it was really bad timing on my end. And I went through a very deep process at the end of last year, where I spent five days in a very powerful workshop, really facing my death every single day. So it started on a Monday, anyone Friday was dying, like it was happening. And over the course of five days, I was being told you have four days to live, you have three days to live, you have two days to live, you have one day to live, you have 30 seconds to live, what are you going to do and I was buried, literally buried, I did write my eulogy. And I have been wearing a bracelet around my wrist, it's just a black thread. That reminds me, I'm gonna die. And it's been so powerful and so potent. And so you know, some of that experience I've been sharing with my parents. That's the courting I suppose. And I spent my birthday with them intentionally this year. But I haven't done in many, many years. And as part of my birthday dinner, I said, you don't know how I want to die. And I don't know how you want to die. And we have not talked about Advanced Directives. And I really want to know, so that I can honor your wishes. And my parents are probably going to hate that. I'm going to say this out loud. But they said we haven't even talked about it. We don't know. So at least I have started that inquiry. And I said, Well, I would like to be cremated. And this is where and I should probably put this in writing. Because I don't know when that is going to happen. And I want you to know. Yeah. So that's, that's, that's part of I think, what I have been dealing with it all. I'll just share one other piece of that. I want to bring it back to you, Michael. But I wasn't planning on sharing this. But it's so interesting. Yesterday, I was flying back to California from Florida from visiting my my family, my parents, and we were approaching Albuquerque. And they were crazy winds like the plane is rattling and it was just like it was it was crazy. And I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I have not reviewed the emergency protocol. Okay, the 510. Net didn't actually go through it at the beginning. Sometimes they do sometimes they don't. And I thought okay, what, what if you were to die right now? You know what that feels like? You have gone through the experience. And I just allowed myself to feel it. I was actually buried in the sand. I was I was in the sand. They left me there for an hour. And when they came to get me during this five days, I didn't want to come out Michael. I felt so at peace. I felt so held by the Earth just the weight of her on me. And so many people had very different experiences. They couldn't wait to get out. It scared the hell out of them. But I reminded myself of that embodied acts experience if if this were to happen, this is what you know, in your body that death is and it was, it was wonderful. I didn't have I didn't have fear and I was able to transport myself back in that place on the plane yesterday as it's rattling and shaking and Okay. Okay. And well, let's imagine your parents, yeah, that would have had very different experiences being buried for one, they wouldn't have gone to Costa Rica to die off and five days. But they have maybe like an anxious attachment relationship to it. Or an avoidant perhaps. And, you know, there are these, you know, we can take, we can use attachment styles for debt too. And going straight up to somebody who is so avoidant. And, you know, putting your finger right on the nose of it is going to be, you know, can can be a thing that has them seize up, right, of course, of course, you know, and this isn't just to you this is to people are listening, because you're not, you're no, I love, you're using this as a teachable moment. And frankly, I have not shared what I just shared with you, I think with only three people. But now here we go. Like, yes, it's been buried. But yes, there there is a there is avoidance, there is anxiety. And it's unknown, of course. Yeah. But there's a way in. So, you know, similarly with courtship, and with a job that you really want, you get creative. And you think about that person. Right? What what are they interested in? Does your mom love Tuesdays with maurey? Perhaps? No, didn't love the movie? Does you know, do they watch dramas that haven't includes our true crime? Or, you know, like, there's, there are ways in and a legacy legacy might be away? And what do you want to be remembered for? Let's get way out, you know, and what stories from your life, we want to make sure that your grandchildren know that that is a death conversation. There's a lot of things that yes, I agree, don't present as much as like, your advanced care directives, and what happens to your body when you die. Right there, there are things that are a little bit more adjacent, where people can open up and before you know it, you're gonna get all of their wishes. It's an unfurling. Because they've been, you know, we're in a society that denies it. And, and is obsessed with it. So we have an unnatural, we have this very unhealthy relationship to it, we're obsessed with that. Death is central to all the top TV shows, books, clickbait it's everywhere. But but our own is, is a real challenge for some people. And the other thing is we can experience it. Right? So it's one of those human experiences that we'll never have, why? Until we have it. And so, it's not something that we can imagine ourselves in. And we also think we're gonna have that other bias in our brain that has it that we're an exception to the rule. We all think we're an exception to the rule. Not gonna happen to me. Yeah. You know, that's just baked in. And so there's a lot but I love that you're trying, and I'm confident that you're gonna find I am pretty persistent. But yes, it's about right timing. And so I appreciate that you used my example as a teachable moment, but I there's so many different places we could go. I'd love to, you know, end on on two questions. One is, how have you maybe found the distinction within yourself but also happen to be in conversation with with folks around the difference between sadness and grief? Well, the thing is, grief is is not one thing. You know, sadness, it has a certain tonality to it. Grief is all of all of the colors all of the sounds of the emotions so you can be a grieving and being laughing. You can be ecstatic and grieving you can be grieving and be horny you can be grieving and be devastatingly depressed. You can be grieving and be inconsolable. You can And all of this is included in grief, grief is is not singular in that way. And, you know, sadness, I'm not an expert on sadness. I mean, then I'm Sam a little bit more expert on grief. And one of the things that I know to be true about grief is one, it's not linear. There, there are no stages. So many people think that Elisabeth Kubler Ross determined the five stages of grief, what Elisabeth Kubler Ross did was create the five stages that happen when we come to terms with our own death. That's what that is. That's what the stages of grief, as we call them, were originally written as she suggested that it might work for grief. And then she retracted it. Some people have taken her suggestion and made careers on it. And the culture has had a bonanza around this idea of grief, having five stages, it doesn't, it's for ever, grief doesn't go away doesn't mean that it's always awful. But the fact that the person is gone, and that whole, that shape of that person will always be in your heart. But the the way to heal that, if that's even the right word, or the way to orient around that is not to try to get back to normal. Or to forget about it or reintegrate into society. It's to honor them. It's called continuing bonds theory. And it's actually the healthy way of grieving. And a lot of countries do this very well, Mexico, India, Japan, where they elevate their relationship to the loved one as opposed to repress it. Right? This, this is going to be with you forever. Turn the beautiful part on and some of the sadness, sadness can be beautiful, poignant, leads to some amazing things inspires us to get in motion sometimes, but elevate that person in your life, build an altar, have some remembrance, turn their body, you know, their cremated remains into things like parting stone or a diamond or have some way where they live in your everyday life is the is the way forward with grief, even though we talk about it in such unhelpful ways. Thank you. Well, and I and my experience with any feeling, you know, the more that we witnessed it, and we witnessed it in community or even with one other person, and in some ways, we're shining the light on it. And it has that opportunity to heal and transform. And that's I think some of what you're doing with this conversation is we're taking it out of the ground, so to speak. We're giving it life and a chance for people to talk about it and therefore grieve together and heal together. Right. And you know, this idea of the word taboo, we'll just talk briefly because I think you have one last question. But taboo is not doesn't mean forbidden. What it actually it's a comes from a Polynesian term, taboo, Tipu. And what that that was referred to places that were sacred places that you have to like, we know for some reason, we know that a burial ground and you know, an Indian or Native American or indigenous burial ground, that we know, for some reason is taboo. Why do we know that? Because that's actually true. It's a sacred place. That's one of the things that was identified as taboo or taboo is a holy place, a sacred place where we actually have to cleanse ourselves or prepare ourselves or being a different state of mind, to go into that space. And that's a rich and meaningful space. Taboo is actually an invitation. It's an invitation and but it's not the regular Friday, your regular Tuesday, it is, I'm going to do I'm going to prepare myself when people go into a mosque, they cleanse themselves. You know, there is there's something about this, that we've forgotten that, yes, we can talk about the hardest things we can talk about trauma. We can talk about sex, we can talk about, you know, history of abuse, we can talk about anything gender, politics, we you name it, if we prepare ourselves properly, and create the right container. There's nothing that's off limits. It's when we don't take the care to do that, that we run into difficulty I agree. Thank you. So in the topic of death and grief, and this is something that has taken a lot of my heart and mind space and continues to. And I think I'm not alone in this, you know, what's happening with our planet, and the extinction of species, and all of the reports that have been coming in for a long time around what is happening with the warming of our planet, and especially the most recent reports, there is an ecological death that is happening. And I think that it is overwhelming for many people to even really look at and feel, feel the grief around the species that are gone for good, and that will be gone. But also, I don't feel like we're prepared with the skills and the resources to navigate what is coming with the fires, with the migration that is going to be happening across our world of people of beings. And I just feel curious, does ecological death or grief come up at all, in these death over dinner conversations? And how can we inspire people to start talking about it, and prepare, skillfully to talk about it? Because we need to talk about it? Because we can't avoid it? It's here. Yeah, and, you know, I think one of the things that we do is weaponize our own grief around this our own urgency as opposed to create space for people to that's inviting to be able to have their own experience of grief around the natural world. Right? A lot of us have had that experience. And we've been we can't believe that others haven't, you know, has woken up to it. Right? Wake up and notice. Wake up and notice is not how I want to be woken up. That doesn't work. I try I have a 14 year old if I come in and shake her or throw water on her or tell her all of the things that she hasn't done or shouldn't be doing. No, that's not how we want to wake somebody up to this. You know, a good morning, I love you. You know, can I? Can I get your coffee? Would you want toast? Or do you want a croissant? Do you want fruit for breakfast? Right? Like, this morning, I gave her some of those choices. She was so touched, she was like, I would love a coffee. She didn't even drink it. But justit's through love. Of course, you're loving, it's tender. And a gentle is about creating space. If you do want people to start to see the world in some way that resembles your way of seeing. Right? One you don't know if they're gonna have the same experience and come to the same conclusions. But until you invite somebody in to look at it themselves and feel it. You've already told them that they're not allowed unless they have a certain set of experiences generally are a certain kind of fire under them to make change is the only way you can be a ticket holder into this conversation. Right this. So you know, there's an incredible book called The Persuaders that just came out. And now Anons going to destroy his last name that is about the right and the left, and how we need more on ramps into these these movements. And I highly recommend that to anybody. But I would also put a little little plug that in my book, I have also created some practices for how to navigate the deep grief and feelings around this. And also, you know, I started experimenting with this practice many years ago when I was teaching at Stanford and I'd, I'd bring the students out into the grass. And I'd ask them to tell me what they loved most about nature, and what they really got from nature. And from that love. What are we willing to fight for? Right? What just like anything, you know, like our family, our friends, if we love something enough, we care for it. We want to protect it and I think that that is I believe the most palpable way into the conversation and to feel the heartbreak around what's happening and you know, a lot of it we have caused, and then we have a choice of what actions we're going to take because pa I couldn't believe we can we can reverse it right? There's there's 100 ways to reverse this. But it requires a certain level of activation of all of us. Yeah. And then, you know, we did create a dinner model called Earth to dinner, which was in partnership with the Paris accord. And the earth in Paris movement in the UN was one of our partners, and we got 1000s of people to have conversations about climate change. But I'll leave you with one story. Because it's, it hasn't asked Yeah, what what evolved from that? Yes. But feel free to feel free to leave the story as well.Yeah, I mean, that. That was, it was incredibly powerful. And I got to work with Jack Black, which was fun. And one of those famous like internet famous cats, I can't remember his name. But nonetheless, the, the story I'll leave you with around it, because I still think it should happen. And I was in Iceland, and got inspired by the glacial melt in Iceland. And, you know, the fact that we are, we're very action oriented, when it comes to those people that are working on climate change, action is really the currency. And I realized that there's a step before action, which is great that we're missing. And so started working on a project to build a table out of the glacier and got, like, the leading ice sculptor in Iceland, to we went out into tests and took, can we cut a table out of the glacier. And then we have the arc at angles, one of the leading sustainable architects in the world cetera to design the table. So the arc angles, gonna design the table, and then how we were started to form this dinner around it. And Bjork said yes, and Sigur Ros was coming. And the president of Iceland was involved. And all of this was happening. And the idea was, okay, we're going to build this table out of ice, and we're going to have a dinner on it that we're going to film and then leave it for people to come visit it while it melts. But the dinner itself was called the goodbye glacier dinner. And the idea very simply was, you know, let's read this together. Let's talk about a world without ice and how that makes us feel. Let's talk a world of burial without glacier. Let's talk about the sixth extinction, that we're in the middle of let's have these conversations from what are we going to miss? How is that going to feel? Which is something that's not politicized? Alright, that's just like, how's it gonna feel? No, full stop. Not now, I want you to make sure you recycle. And you can't wear those, you know, you can't wear fur, or you can't do this, or you can't eat this, or there's no need for you know, let's just grieve. And so and then unfortunately, the idea was so popular that a friend of mine decided to build a whole festival around this and a thought leadership festival. And it got way too big and fancy. And then the whole thing exploded. But the the reason we were doing it in the first place was the goodbye glacier dinner, and the goodbye glacier table. And so it still hasn't happened. And maybe somebody is listening. Maybe someone will listen and they'll say, let's start. Yeah, I love it. Okay, if you want to do it, I'm up for it. Michael's up for reach out. That was your story. Beautiful. Well, I know you have as I shared at the beginning of introducing you, you have a couple other movements, generations over dinner, and that feels like a wonderful opportunity for people of all different ages to come together towards talking about some of these big conversations that were hospice sing out to create something new. Yeah. So yeah, generations over dinner, I'll just be briefly partnership with Chip Conley, Chip Conley, the founder of modern elder Academy, and I'm sure he's been talked about maybe he's been on this podcast he has and chip has a new book, and he's going to be on it again. So I am very inspired by Chip and his work at modern elder Academy and the emphasis on intergenerational wisdom sharing. Yes, this idea that a modern elder is as as curious as they are wise. And that it is about sharing, as as well as being you know, just that curiosity, that desire to learn. And that's the hallmark of what we need an elders right now. We're also age, we have an age apartheid, if you will. Don't know if we can Bandy around the term apartheid. So I apologize if that's offensive. But we have a divisiveness and separation around age we do not know, people of different ages, generally speaking, we are not age diverse, in our country are really very much around the world is one of those American ideas that has been exported, to really just spend your time around people same age and not live with people of different ages, etc. And so we decided to create another social ritual that is generations over dinner. And that's a challenge to see how many generations you can get at a dinner table. And these dinners are happening all over the world as well, there have been already to seven generation dinners, not of the same family, but the generations like boomers, greatest silent millennia, we've gotten all seven living at tables, or people have I haven't even done it, people got inspired by it. And they're like, we'll do it. And two of those dinners, one in Australia, one in the US have happened. And they're these dinners happening of work, mentioned that there were a lot of enterprise or workplace has the most intergenerational opportunity, for sure. Right. And, in many ways, the most generational division. So Chevron, Uber and LinkedIn are three companies that have taken on generation over dinner and are using it at scale. But the project that I'm most excited about you, we talk to you most excited about, and it's like, I get pretty excited about death, obviously. But this work with generations that we're doing in senior living, uh huh. The most the thing I'm most excited about. So there's, I don't know the percentage, there's a lot of us that are in senior living, and a lot of people that we love. And I had this realization one day that senior living, whether that's assisted care, independent living, etc, represents the largest and most concentrated reservoir of wisdom on the planet. And it's just sitting there and we are not tapping it. And we are not in conversation with it. And, you know, my mom, neighbor, and her senior living establishment is former governor Barbara Roberts, the first female governor of Oregon, who's unbelievable human being, no one goes to see her her family does, but she should, she would mentor people all day. And so we started working with senior living and was like, Sure if if we bring you generations over dinner, and also bring you the young people or you just open your doors to young young folks or people in the middle age one, you'll get more people who want to live in or work in senior living. But the loneliness epidemic that's happening at the oldest and the youngest, can be cured. And so now we're in like, 1000, Senior Living. Oh, I love hearing that. Well, my parents live and Valencia lakes, which is in Sun City, Florida, which is a quite a large 55 and older retirement village. And I was just spending a lengthy visit with them. And one of the things and I'm, I've always been an old soul, I have always had people in their 60s. In my life, I'm I'm in my early 40s. But I would go to the fitness center, this is just kind of a fun story. And I'd have lots of folks that I would just interact with, and they would just want to come up and give me wisdom. I saw a little lady, you know, like, like this, this man that was 90, which I wouldn't have known. He's like, don't stop moving. Like, okay, I'm not planning on it. And then this, this other man who was 66. But I want to respect their desire to share and it was it's beautiful, but you can't really get a workout in. But I love that. I love that, Michael, this conversation has been so meaningful. I just really appreciate how you have just started the conversation literally in so many important areas and your service. And I hope that we will be able to continue to converse, and I'm just very passionate about helping you amplify all these incredible movements. So thank you know, thanks for having me. And to those listening out there. It's all available. It's all free. Kind of never charged for any of these initiatives. So grab them, enjoy if death isn't the topic or psychedelic drugs had the topic that you're interested in generations over dinner is kind of for everybody. It is and all these links will be in the show. My notes, and Michael is also on LinkedIn. And he's got a website. And he's got a fabulous TED Talk. So all these all these links will be in the show notes, Michael, thank you again. Thanks so much talk soon. Hey, folks, thanks so much for listening to this wonderful conversation with Michael and I are on the intersection of grief and death. And therefore, how we want to fully live our lives. I wanted to share a few more thoughts and prompts, and resources, so that you could engage in this deeper inquiry around life and death for yourself when you're ready. And I'll start off with this, there is always a cycle of birth and death, and all things it's part of life. And nothing endures but change. And accepting this reality has the potential to transform the dread of dying into joyful living. I started working with cancer patients in my early 20s. And it informed me at an early age on the preciousness of life, I'd also had a meditation practice for probably a couple years before that journey of working with cancer patients. So I was already informed on how important being here for the present moment is. And I saw a lot of the patients that I was serving go through incredible changes when they knew they were about to die. I also saw some people that didn't have a chance to really pivot and had regrets on their deathbed. And last year, I knew that I needed a deeper reset for myself. And I took about 10 weeks sabbatical in Costa Rica, which is a place I've been going to for about 10 years. And I spent the first month in silence. And I have spent a lot of my life in the last 1314 years in silence. So I'd been getting myself ready to take a month, in some ways, because I had taken two to three weeks a year for many years. And it was incredibly nourishing for myself. And after I came out of silence, I prepared to die. Essentially, I had already decided to do a workshop with a teacher and a guide that I respected. And I shared a little bit about my experience with Michael, in the interview that you just listened to. But I had five days to live and die. And there were lots of very potent exercises that I did in preparation. And it was a real embodied experience. So much so that at the very end of the week, I was buried. And it gave me a lot to think about on how I wanted to live my life and what had the most urgency right now. And what came through were some really life changing insights. And I have as much as I can really try to orient my life around those insights into actions. And so one of the biggest aha was for me, when I knew I was about to die was I needed to invest in home, I needed to have a place to die. That was a place I felt safe, where I had loved ones where I had community where I deep roots. And I didn't have that. And I am cultivating that now I lived in the Bay Area for a lot of my adult life and because of how expensive it is, and because of some of what I chose to do during those many years, I couldn't invest in a property. And I frankly put the work of helping clients and companies above my own well being and my own happiness. And I wrote a book for almost four years. So there was a way that I was sacrificing my self in support of a purpose that I believed was more important. And that has really shifted I am no longer willing to make those same types of sacrifices for for the rest of my life. Because life is short, isn't it? And I think many people have been going through those same kinds of changes and acknowledgments over the past couple of years with the pandemic. And so as a result of facing my own death, I put some actions in place So that might be inspiring for you to hear. So I chose to spend three weeks with my parents in May, to nurture more connection really have meaningful time with them in these years where they're still healthy and able, and a lot of my life I have lived in California, and my family's in Florida, and it was incredibly sweet and tender. And I'm so grateful for it. And I hope that we will all have more time like that to connect, and get to know one another. There are ways that I know my parents now that I didn't know when I was a teenager, or even in my early 20s. And I think there are ways that they're getting to know me, as well. I have also recently moved to a community where I am really excited to invest more time and energy, in community in play in friendship, and belonging. And I'm holding greater boundaries around what is my right work, and what do I need that supports me to do that right work in a way that is balanced. So these are just some of some of the things that I have been putting into play. And frankly, one of the things that is also driving this greater motivation is that based on the warming that is occurring in the planet, and not knowing what is going to happen with our planet, and not really knowing how humanity is going to show up in this time, I know it's going to be hot, how hot it's going to be is up to us. And based on that there will be more adaptations, there will be more floods and fires and smoke and scarcity of water and resources. And therefore, in order to really enjoy my life, in addition to the My deeper purpose, to help solve some of these big problems we have created. I don't want to miss out on the beauty that is here. Speaking of the intersection of grief, and ecological death, I wanted to share with you some practices that I wrote about in my book that I think will be really helpful for you, if you like me, are also looking for those tools and resources to help you navigate what is here, what is coming. And so in chapter nine of my book, there is a practice. There's a couple practices actually one of them is turning emotional upset into inspired action. And I do believe that by having greater emotional resilience, we will have greater climate resilience. So allow yourself to just listen in to this excerpt from my book. I presented at Planet home in 2019, which is a gathering of changemakers scientists, Hollywood activists and musicians who are bringing greater awareness to climate problems as well as their solutions. During planet home, I led the participants of my workshop through a hike in nature in the Presidio of San Francisco. I invited those on the hike to notice what they love about Nietzsche, and based on that love what feelings arose when they thought about the Amazon burning, the glaciers melting, and the massive amounts of species dying every day. People shared deep grief, anger, fear, uncertainty and hope. Embracing the discomfort allows us to inform ourselves about how we want to act in service of the earth. So hearing that, I invite you to go out in nature once a week, and walk barefoot on the ground. Listen to the earth. Allow yourself to feel the nourishment from your connection to nature. And notice your love and appreciation of your surroundings. Let yourself feel all the feelings that arise about the destruction of our planet. And if the feelings are too much to bear, drop down to the earth with your hands and knees and let the earth hold some of your fear grief and rage. Yell if you have to let the emotions release from your body. You don't need to hold them in. From a deep place of feeling. Ask yourself how do I want to show up in service of To the earth, and then whatever answer arises, follow it. This will help you to stand in your commitment to be a good steward of this planet. And a couple of prompts for you, in addition to that practice before we end. When we think about using death as a catalyst to live a more meaningful life, there is another book that could also be helpful for you. There's so many, but this one came to mind. So Daniel Pink, an author that I respect, wrote a book about regrets. And he spoke about the five most common regrets that people had in life. So here they are, one, I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me to. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. Three, I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. For I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends, five, I wish that I had allowed myself to be happier. So in thinking about this conversation, what you've heard for me from Michael, if you're curious how you will start your journey to use death as a way to live a more meaningful and purposeful life. If you enjoyed this episode, please give me a five star review helps so much and then other folks can find the shine podcast, share with friends, family colleagues on LinkedIn, we are all in this together and sharing is caring. Are you seeking a catalyst to increase trust in your team upskill your leadership create a flourishing culture. I am your person. These are my areas of genius. And I love solving problems creating strategy, enrolling stakeholders related to these topics. And I've had incredible results with amazing companies. Reach out to me on LinkedIn, and book a consultation. I would love to help. I have some incredible interviews coming in the rest of this podcast season so make sure you subscribe to the shine podcast. Additionally, there's a lot of resources in the show notes around some of the pieces that Michael and I spoke about. Thanks so much for listening. And until we meet again, be the light and shine the light

You know at The Spark File, we are not afraid to contemplate our own mortality, especially if doing so enhances our lives and our creativity. According to the author, Michael Hebb, “Of the many critical conversations we will all have throughout our lifetime, few are as important as the ones discussing death—and not just the practical considerations, such as DNRs and wills, but what we fear, what we hope, and how we want to be remembered.”On this week's episode of The Spark File podcast, Susan and Laura dig into these critical conversations, aided by Hebb's book, “Let's Talk about Death over Dinner.”Pull up a chair and we'll serve you up a delicious and substantial dialogue that will increase your end-of-life awareness and just might magnify your celebration of LIFE!

Roll out the red carpet! It's time for the Besties – reviewing our top 10 episodes of 2022. And the carpet's not for nothing; we've got guest stars galore! Fools of all stripes who made us smarter, happier, and richer in this challenging year. Host: David Gardner Guests: Dan Pink, Michael Hebb, Kara Chambers, Candice Millard, Sem Verbeek, Robert Brokamp, Chris Hill Producer: Rick Engdahl

Generations Over Dinner is designed to alleviate ageism and loneliness by encouraging different generations to go deep at the dinner table. Learn how the founders joined a think tank of leaders in the aging space to create a turn-key program that any individual or senior living community can implement. About Michael Michael Hebb is the Founder of Over Dinner (Death Over Dinner, Drugs Over Dinner, Generations Over Dinner) and the author of Let's Table About Death (Over Dinner). He currently serves as a Board Advisor at the Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy at Tufts, is the primary editor of the COVID Paper; and in the recent past served as a Partner at RoundGlass and Senior Advisor to Summit Series, Theo Chocolate, CreativeLive, Architecture For Humanity, and Mosaic Voices Foundation. In 1997 Hebb co-founded City Repair and Communitecture with architect Mark Lakeman, winning the AIA People's Choice Award for the Intersection Repair Project. In 1999 Michael and Naomi Pomeroy co-founded Family Supper in Portland, a supper club that is credited with starting the pop-up restaurant movement. In the years following they opened the restaurants clarklewis and Gotham Bldg Tavern, garnering international acclaim. After leaving Portland, Hebb built Convivium, a creative agency that specialized in the ability to shift culture through the use of thoughtful food and discourse-based gatherings. Convivium's client list includes: The Obama Foundation, Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, TEDMED, The World Economic Forum, Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, Clinton Global Initiative, X Prize Foundation, The Nature Conservancy. Key Takeaways Generations Over Dinner is the framework you need to have the experience. The turnkey program includes nine dinner scripts with three primary topics: love and relationships, purpose, and the future. Senior living communities can have their own Generations Over Dinner secure platform where they can plan dinners and invite residents and their kids, grandkids, and friends from outside the community. Loneliness is not alleviated by having more conversations or by being around more people. It is only alleviated by having high quality conversations and real connection.

It's August, which for this podcast means authors! There's a great lineup of interviews coming for the month, but we're kicking it off with a list of 5 recommendations and a few runners-up that will get you out on the beach. (2:43) Runners-up: Destiny of the Republic by Candice Millard, The Inevitable by Kevin Kelly, and Let's Talk About Death (Over Dinner) by Michael Hebb.  (7:51) It's Not What You Sell, It's What You Stand For by Roy Spence. Are you looking to find the purpose of your organization? There's no better place to start. (14:26) Selling The Invisible by Harry Beckwith. We are a service economy, and this precient work will guide you in the ways of modern marketing. (21:30) Sum: Forty Tales from the Afterlives by David Eagleman. A book of poetic prose that conjectures visions of the afterlife that make you think better of this life. (27:30) Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog) by Jerome K. Jerome. Heading back to the 19th Century, and off on a comic adventure, this book is escapist in all the best ways. (37:14) The Why of Work by David & Wendy Ulrich. Finding purpose and passion in the workplace will lead to a culture of abundance. Wins all around!  Host: David Gardner Producer: Rick Engdahl

There are a few subjects that most of us avoid talking about with friends and family, really with just about everyone. Money, politics and death. The statistics show that 75% of Americans want to die at home, but only 25% actually do. The statistics show that more bankruptcies occur due to medical expenses, particularly end of life expenses. Not having the conversation about how you want to die can be a costly omission as well as a missed opportunity for bonding and closeness between family and friends. Michael Hebb, founder of deathoverdinner.org has created a way to host a dinner conversation about death while breaking bread and building connection. He has found that deep interpersonal relationships are formed when talking about difficult topics. Having a dinner is easy! We walked through the process and even tried a sample question. Let's Talk about Death is Michael's book about the subject and the process. Episode Takeaways: 1. Don't be discouraged when loved ones show resistance to talking about death over dinner. Think of it as a courtship. Be patient and gentle 2. Thinking about generations over dinner, how "generation diverse" are you? Could you invite 3, 4, 7 generations to dinner.  3. Talking about our mortality is the thing that gives us the most clarity, vitality and sense of purpose. Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop – You can find Michael Hebb at hebb.life  - deathoverdinner.org  - generationsoverdinner.com (launching in Sept. 2020 )

Last week we talked to author Michael Hebb about the importance of having conversations about death. Today, we're actually having the conversation. A gathering of friends, a bottle of wine, and a heartfelt, guided discussion about the end that awaits us all.

It's April, the month of filing taxes here in the US, and "...in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes." So said Benjamin Franklin (and several other before him). But while taxes are discussed and debated freely, what of death? Can we talk about death? Shouldn't we talk about death? How should we talk about death? 

Bądź świadom śmiertelności! Ogarniaj własne sprawy! Decyduj, gdy jeszcze możesz! Nie unikaj tematu! Posłuchaj, a potem przeczytaj, zapraszam.

How we address (or fail to address) the end of our lives can define everything that happened before and everything that will happen next for the people we leave behind. As founder of the End of Life community and deathoverdinner.org, Michael Hebb is asking more and more of us to come to the table to have some of life's most challenging and fulfilling conversations. He believes that having open conversations about a subject we're far too willing to ignore can change the way we live and the way we die.

Michael Hebb is the founder of EOL.Community and Death Over Dinner. On this episode of How We Got Here, Michael talks about how his father's Alzheimer's diagnosis, and the ways his family dealt with it, affected him as a child and helped shape his earliest memories of caregiving and grief. He also tells us about a life-changing experience he had as a patient that taught him surrender at a very young age. Michael explains why the the end of life is ripe with opportunity for healing and revealing our humanity and the beauty that comes from learning how our loved ones want to be remembered. He shares how his work is increasing death literacy and walks us through what happens at a Death Over Dinner event. Michael describes the steps you can take to make sure your care and end-of-life wishes are honored and why inner work is the most important work of all. Visit EOL.Community for resources on grief, end of life, and more. This season of How We Got Here is sponsored by Anthem.

O #episódio38 do Podcast “Sobre Viver e Morrer” traz uma conversa que tivemos no Festival do ano passado (2020), com Gisela Adissi - empreendedora funerária e consultora de Gestão de Luto e Michael Hebb, um convidado internacional muito especial que é sócio da RoundGlass e fundador da EOL.community e Deathoverdinner.org As questões de inovação dos rituais do fim da vida diante os impactos do COVID-19 são tema central desse bate-papo que promete uma reflexão crua e verdadeira sobre as despedidas nesse contexto. ▪ ▶ Aperte o play para ouvir!

What can we learn about death from the X-Men, small screaming rodents, and unwitting college students in psychology experiments? It turns out that the fear of death (or death anxiety) affects human behavior in all sorts of surprising and deeply troubling ways. Especially disconcerting is the way such fear entices people to cling to cultural beliefs so tightly that they will attack anything or anyone they perceive as a threat to their beliefs. And extra-super-duper disconcerting is how unaware most of us are that we are susceptible to such bad behavior when we’re reminded that one day we’ll die. Follow Jason, Rob, and Asher as they try not to deny climate change, vilify any out-groups, or assault one another while diving into the topic of death. In the Do-the-Opposite segment, Michael Hebb (author of Let’s Talk about Death over Dinner) shares wisdom for developing a healthier relationship with death. For episode notes and more information, please visit our website.Support the show (https://www.postcarbon.org/supportcrazytown/)

Drinking in the elixir of life has meant learning from death for this spiritual sherpa. Heather exposes her grief stories and the opportunities that have followed. It required her to "be with" her pain before she could experience post traumatic growth and the bounty of gifts on the other side when you truly learn to live and stop numbing. More about Heather's professional practice: https://www.heatherfantin.com/ Produced for Cafe Racer Radio, original broadcast February 14, 2021. Also mentioned in this episode: Death Over Dinner https://deathoverdinner.org/ This is where the founder, Michael Hebb talks on the TED stage: https://www.tedmed.com/talks/show?id=64618 Death Midwifery practice by Dawn Grace: dawn@deathwithgrace.org Sheri's space pod: https://www.floatseattle.com/ Other resources not mentioned https://whenileave.com/

Death Over Dinner founder, Michael Hebb,  shares his inspiration and insight into the taboo subject of death. Through his many conversations with leaders of the death positive movement and his own personal experience, Michael has created an engaging way to have death be the topic of conversation. He talks about tools that shine a light on the repressive way we view death while giving us guidance on how to honor a life, feel grief and express gratitude.  Connect with Michael Hebb here - https://round.glass/verticles/end-of-life/ https://deathoverdinner.org/ https://endlesstable.org/ https://livewake.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/company/roundglass/ https://www.facebook.com/michael.a.hebb Join the Dying Your Way conversation on our FaceBook group, search for Dying your Way. Or to learn more or contact us go to www.dyingyourway.com. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Can a dinner party help Americans to die better? According to Michael Hebb, creator of Death Over Dinner, it certainly can. D.S. Moss didn't win the "he'll try anything once trophy" for nothin', because that's exactly what he wants to find out. Besides, what's the worst that can happen when you give 8 strangers steak knives, pickle them with wine, and push the boundaries of death dialogue in between politely passing the polenta. Please join Moss as he combines three of his most favorite things: people, parties, and conversations about death in the penultimate episode of Season 2: Death Over Dinner.

Michael Hebb and Johanna Lunn talk about Death over Dinner.

In this episode, Jess speaks with Michael Hebb, founder of “Death Over Dinner” and the “End of Life Collective.” The groundbreaking work of both of these organizations in helping to normalize death and dying and democratize resources for end of life support have both served as huge inspirations in Jess’s journey to better understand the fragility and urgency of life.  In this interview, Jess and Michael explore how destructive the path of dying has become the last few decades -- particularly in the field of medicine -- where there is often no real connection to end of life needs and rituals. Michael shares wisdom on the beauty of human connection and vulnerability, emphasizes a necessary collective shift in our perspective on dying, and he and Jess both reflect on how our wounds and pain can also provide a path to understanding and healing.  Websites: www.hebb.life www.eol.community

ABOUT THE EPISODEMy guest, Michael Hebb, is an innovative and influential cultural figure and our conversation was fascinating, inspiring, and frankly blew me away. In End of Life Conversations, you’ll hear from a man who, since losing his father at 13, and feeling like a teenager out of touch with his peers and his family, has been on a quest to understand the secrets of human connection. His journey has been a wild and interesting ride so far, from studying the great philosophers and mystics of the ages, to considering how architecture impacts belonging, to staging large-scale community civil disobedience efforts to strengthen communities. He eventually ended up collaborating with some of THE greatest writers, thinkers, and creators of our time to transform human connection. With the metaphor of gathering around the table, Michael Hebb has created culture-shifting movements such as the City Repair Project, Death Over Dinner, and his most recent creation, the End of Life Collective. Each has offered participants a deeper level of human connection, most recently focusing on the thing that we have most in common. Death.You can learn more about Death Over Dinner by visiting www.deathoverdinner.org. His newest initiative, End of Life Collective (which I’m grateful to say I’m involved in) can be found by visiting www.eol.community ABOUT THE HOSTHi! My name is Lisa Keefauver, and I'm the founder of Reimagining Grief. I’m on a mission to change the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. Learn more by visiting www.reimagininggrief.com In addition to hosting this podcast, I offer 1:1 grief support, Grief-Smart Workplace Consulting, Group Guided Mindfulness Meditation Sessions and a unique line of Empathy Cards. I work as a freelance speaker and writer on the topics of grief, loss and empathy for many outlets including as a VIP contributor to Thrive Global. If you’re feeling social, follow my journey on social media @reimagininggrief. If you like this series, please make sure to leave a rating and write a review TODAY on Apple Podcasts.#lisakeefauvermsw #reimagininggrief #widow #widowsofinstagram #socialworker #speaker #writer #educator #empathy #empathycards #griefisasneakybitch #death #grief #loss #mourning #griefandloss #griefjourney #griefquotes #griefsupport #griefguide #podcasts #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #podcasters#spotify #applepodcasts #itunes #death #dying #deathculture #deathoverdinner #deathconversation See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Michael is one of his generation's great table-makers, underground restaurateurs, food provocateur, and credited with creating the modern underground restaurant movement in the United States. He's a Partner at RoundGlass, the founder of deathoverdinner.org and The Living Wake, the co-founder of MuslimNeighbor.com, and the author of Let's Talk About Death. He currently serves as a Board Advisor at the Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy at Tufts. He is also the founder of Convivium, a creative agency specializing in the common table's technology and the ability to shift culture through thoughtful food and discourse-based engagements and happenings.  He joins us to discuss founding what many regard as the modern underground food scene in the US and how that work led him to his current focus around death, dying well, and his view that talking about death is medicine for the living. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://news.iheart.com/podcast-advertisers

Today’s guest is the founder of two innovative organizations, Death Over Dinner and EOL. He allows others to reflect on and connect with the idea of the afterlife in order to treasure the present. Meet Michael Hebb. Michael Hebb believes in the power of stillness and courage to help confront fear. He caters to people’s desires to be vulnerable and to connect. He created platforms that promote healing, intimacy, awareness and self-love.

Rach & Michael explore navigating end of life as we know it.  When we traditionally talk about death, we talk about end of life, the end of the physical body.  In this tea we widen the conversation to explore purpose, death phases through life, transitions, plant medicine & relationships.  How do we let go, step into a new way of being, and how do we grieve our losses, old versions of ourselves and loved ones.  It is a lively, deep and powerful conversation with a bit of Dylan Thomas too.   Go grab a cuppa and join us.   Find Rach Contact  Find End of Life Community here

Michael Hebb is an innovative and influential cultural figure, entrepreneur and activist, described by the New York Times as an “underground restaurateur, impresario and provocateur.” He believes that the dinner table is one of the most effective (and overlooked) vehicles for changing the world. After teaching a University of Washington graduate course titled Let’s Have Dinner and Talk About Death, Michael started Death Over Dinner. This project was created as a gift, an invitation and a simple set of tools to help families and friends address the basic human fact that we are all, at some point, going to die. We suffer more when we don’t communicate our wishes, we suffer less when we know how to honor the wishes of our loved ones.  -- Michael is a partner at RoundGlass and the Founder of Deathoverdinner.org, Drugsoverdinner.org, EarthtoDinner.org, WomenTeachMen.org and The Living Wake. He currently serves as a Board Advisor at the Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy at Tufts; and in the recent past as Senior Advisor to Summit Series, Theo Chocolate, Learnist, Caffe Vita, CreativeLive, Architecture For Humanity, and Mosaic Voices Foundation .  In 1997 Hebb co-founded City Repair and Communitecture with architect Mark Lakeman, winning the AIA People's Choice Award for the Intersection Repair Project. In 1999 Michael and Naomi Pomeroy co-founded Family Supper in Portland, a supper club that is credited with starting the pop-up restaurant movement. In the years following they opened the restaurants clarklewis and Gotham Bldg Tavern, garnering international acclaim.  After leaving Portland, Hebb built Convivium/One Pot, a creative agency that specialized in the ability to shift culture through the use of thoughtful food and discourse based gatherings. Convivium's client list includes: The Obama Foundation, Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, TEDMED, The World Economic Forum, Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, Clinton Global Initiative, X Prize Foundation, The Nature Conservancy. Michael is the founding Creative Director of The City Arts Festival, the founder of Night School @ The Sorrento Hotel, the founder of www.seder.today and the founding Creative Director at the Cloud Room. He served as a Teaching Fellow at the Graduate School of Communication at University of Washington. His writings have appeared in USA TODAY, GQ, Food and Wine and numerous other publications. Michael can often be found speaking at universities and conferences, here is his TEDMED talk. 

Michael and I spend some time talking about how to create spaces to have conversations about death, even with young people. He shares his story about some painful childhood experiences he went through that propelled him into this work and how he believes that the kitchen table can be a transformative space to have difficult conversations. He shares techniques, including the way we invite people to this conversation, that make it more possible for people to talk about death. He also shares his new venture, EOL.community, which he describes as an "itinerary" for death, not leaving anything up for last-minute decisions. EOL.community provides all of the necessary tools, services and products one needs to plan for death, much of which is FREE! To connect with Mr. Hebb, reach out to him on EOL.community. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Cal talks with the author of Let’s Talk About Death (Over Dinner) at just the right time – prior to watching his first funeral over Zoom. Cal’s questions about death, the coronavirus and our country’s health lead to a very unexpected place: a way of using Hebb’s thought-provoking conversations about death as a different kind of vaccine against COVID 19.  These conversations could lead to a change in our thinking and our behavior, and actually protect us. Cal plans to listen to this back and forth again. Please, get the most out of it.

My guest is Michael Hebb, a trained chef and architect, TEDx and TEDmed speaker, he has worked closely with the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation as well as serves on the board for local powerhouses like Cafe Vita, CreativeLive, Theo Chocolates etc. He is also the founder of the Death Over Dinner Movement and a Face in my Faces of Fortitude project. In this episode we discuss the hard topic of death and especially in this pandemic how his work has changed and the amazing resources they are creating for families during this difficult time.

On this episode of Ask a Death Doula, My guest is Michael Hebb. Michael is the founder of Death Over Dinner and author of the book Let’s Talk About Death (Over Dinner.) He will share how the early illness and subsequent death of his father led him on a path to seek answers to life at just a tender age of 13. It is no wonder that he has accomplished so much inspiring work in this sacred space. In this episode, he will discuss the value of conversation at the dinner table and particularly for discussing difficult topics like death. We learn how Death Over Dinner now includes death dinners for healthcare providers. Michael also shares information about the upcoming event Love and Death, which will take place April, 2020 in Seattle, WA.The Love and Death Conference is bringing together the most poignant and inspired thought leaders in relationships, love, aging, death and dying to create a beautiful opportunity to explore what makes us human. Links Mentioned in this show: • Death Over Dinner Website : https://deathoverdinner.org/?fbclid=IwAR2UM1kfJbSVe1w5WXHG3gVxx07_wgUWU8t0YdIKDvOS1AEi52cv1f0zpeA • Love and Death Conference Event Seattle, WA April 24th-26th Connect. Collaborate. Express | RoundGlass Collective: https://collective.round.glass/v1/love-and-death • Email Michael Hebb at Michael@deathoverdinner.org if you’re interested in being part of the EOL Collective

Learn how the Death Over Dinner movement is impacting healthcare systems and changing our conversations about death (and love.) My guest Michael Hebb is the founder of Death Over Dinner and author of the book Let’s Talk About Death (Over Dinner.) He discusses the value of conversation at the dinner table and particularly for discussing… Continue reading Ep. 232 Love and Death Over Dinner with Michael Hebb

Episode 281: Jillian Richardson is committed to creating connection and community by organizing places where people feel seen, heard, and valued. As a professional community builder, public speaker, and writer, Jillian is most known for being the founder of The Joy List, a weekly newsletter with the mission of reducing loneliness in New York City and eventually the world. She's been sending it out every Monday morning for three years, helping thousands of people build connection to both place and each other. In addition to her successful career in community consulting and event design, Jillian Richardson has just released her first book and #1 Amazon new release, Unlonely Planet.   Show notes: Feminine Spirit School - Create Your Own Feminine Flow, Fire and Freedom HERE How did the Joy List get started? The impact that Donald Trump getting elected had on the Joy List. The average American has 1 close friend. 75% of Americans are not satisfied with their friends that they do have. “I think we don’t have the skills anymore to have deep relationships. We lack the skills it takes to form deep relationships.” Most people are hungry for a deep connection. Why we normally give more emphasis to our romantic relationships than friendships. Soul friend - “Anam Cara” We treat friendships as our secondary values when really they need to be first.  Friendships can be just as triggering as our romantic relationships. The signs of a really special relationship. “Hair and nail” friends “When you’re not doing the inner work, the friendship (container) isn’t clear.”  Way #1: Let people publically know what you’re looking for. Way #2: Let people know if you want to be in a deep relationship with them.  “Consistency is key when it comes to deepening friendships and that requires vulnerability for asking for consistency in the first place.” How do you approach someone who you’re interested in being friends with? Way #3: Volunteer Way #4: find spaces where you can share with strangers. The balance between authenticity and protecting your energy. Way #5: enter generational spaces Jillian’s ideal 4-hour event. What Jillian wants more of in life. Must-read book: Death Over Dinner by Michael Hebb and Anam Cara by John Donahue   Connect with Jillian: Website Unlonely Planet: How Healthy Congregations Can Change the World Facebook Instagram - Joy List Instagram - Jillian

Episode 281: Jillian Richardson is committed to creating connection and community by organizing places where people feel seen, heard, and valued. As a professional community builder, public speaker, and writer, Jillian is most known for being the founder of The Joy List, a weekly newsletter with the mission of reducing loneliness in New York City and eventually the world. She's been sending it out every Monday morning for three years, helping thousands of people build connection to both place and each other. In addition to her successful career in community consulting and event design, Jillian Richardson has just released her first book and #1 Amazon new release, Unlonely Planet. Show notes: Feminine Spirit School - Create Your Own Feminine Flow, Fire and Freedom: http://maddymoon.com/feminine-spirit How did the Joy List get started? The impact that Donald Trump getting elected had on the Joy List. The average American has 1 close friend. 75% of Americans are not satisfied with their friends that they do have. “I think we don’t have the skills anymore to have deep relationships. We lack the skills it takes to form deep relationships.” Most people are hungry for a deep connection. Why we normally give more emphasis to our romantic relationships than friendships. Soul friend - “Anam Cara” We treat friendships as our secondary values when really they need to be first.  Friendships can be just as triggering as our romantic relationships. The signs of a really special relationship. “Hair and nail” friends “When you’re not doing the inner work, the friendship (container) isn’t clear.”  Way #1: Let people publically know what you’re looking for. Way #2: Let people know if you want to be in a deep relationship with them.  “Consistency is key when it comes to deepening friendships and that requires vulnerability for asking for consistency in the first place.” How do you approach someone who you’re interested in being friends with? Way #3: Volunteer Way #4: find spaces where you can share with strangers. The balance between authenticity and protecting your energy. Way #5: enter generational spaces Jillian’s ideal 4-hour event. What Jillian wants more of in life. Must-read book: Death Over Dinner by Michael Hebb: https://amzn.to/2P8ekGt Must-read book: Anam Cara by John Donahue: https://amzn.to/35MjTB0 Connect with Jillian: Website: http://www.joylist.nyc/ Unlonely Planet: How Healthy Congregations Can Change the World: https://amzn.to/33En6RB Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/joylistnyc Instagram - Joy List: http://www.instagram.com/joylistnyc Instagram - Jillian: http://www.instagram.com/thatJillian [Tweet ""We treat friendship as a secondary value when it really needs to be our first." #podcast #mindbodymusings"] COACHING: receive personalized, 1:1 coaching from Maddy Moon to create your own feminine and masculine embodiment. Heal your heart, build confidence, create an online business (if that’s a goal!) or simply feel happier. Apply here: http://maddymoon.com/coaching FEMININE SPIRIT SCHOOL: this school is the one-stop-shop for all things feminine energy! If you’ve been wanting to embody the feminine but feel stuck on the how, this program will take you through the entire realm from start to (well…we’re never really finished, are we?). Learn about the feminine/masculine, shadow sides, ancestral healing, boundary setting, empowerment, sensuality and sexuality, sovereignty and so much more. Sign up here: http://maddymoon.com/feminine-spirit

Episode 276: Dr. Jordana Jacobs is a clinical psychologist in private practice in New York City. Her approach is integrative, combining psychodynamic and existential therapy into her treatment of patients. Dr. Jacobs’ training at Memorial Sloan Kettering working with terminally ill cancer patients, her studies in Northern India, and her Vipassana meditation practice inspired her research on the complex relationship between death awareness and love. Her dissertation, entitled “Till Death do us Part: The Effect of Mortality Salience on Satisfaction in Long-term Romantic Relationships” specifically explored the ways in which priming for death has the potential to increase intimacy in partnerships. In addition to seeing patients, Dr. Jordana Jacobs now gives talks and leads meditations aimed towards helping people accept inevitable mortality so that they are able to live and love more fully.   Show notes: Must-read book: On life After Death by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross Embodied Archetype Retreat: Unlock parts of yourself that you've been shaming, blaming or hiding for too long. Apply here. Feminine Spirit School - the one-stop-shop for all things feminine energy! HERE Dr. Jordana Jacob’s background that led her to this impactful work. The destructive narratives that we tell ourselves about death. Why thinking we might go to hell is still preferable to many people rather than the unknown. The incredible story of her great aunt who survived the holocaust with false papers who was in love with a German officer.  Why death was incredibly helpful to think about when she was going through heartbreak. “Death is an anchor.” Death is really about surrender and lack of control. Esther Perel  - “Fire meets air.” Buddhist parable: real flowers vs plastic flowers. “The more you try to stop it, the more it will come.” “Anything we cling to is a form of attachment.” What Dr. Jordana Jacob says to people who have a tremendous fear of death. “Fear and love can’t live in the same house.” Bobby Klein  Two questions to ask at the end of your life: Am I love and did I love? The pure, unconditional love we have for animals and how to process their deaths. What Dr. Jordana Jacob thinks happens when we die. The importance of “death reminders.” “You have to think about death 5 times a day in order to live fully.” Death reminder app HERE Her written exercise to put death into perspective. “We live 2 lives, and the second one begins when we realize we only have one.” - Confucius  If you act out of fear, you speed up your life. “Presence is where we access love.” “Dating: We’re doing it wrong” article HERE Must read: Let's Talk About Death Over Dinner by Michael Hebb and The 5 Invitations by Frank Ostaseski    Connect with Dr. Jordana Jacobs: Instagram Website

Episode 276: Dr. Jordana Jacobs is a clinical psychologist in private practice in New York City. Her approach is integrative, combining psychodynamic and existential therapy into her treatment of patients. Dr. Jacobs’ training at Memorial Sloan Kettering working with terminally ill cancer patients, her studies in Northern India, and her Vipassana meditation practice inspired her research on the complex relationship between death awareness and love. Her dissertation, entitled “Till Death do us Part: The Effect of Mortality Salience on Satisfaction in Long-term Romantic Relationships” specifically explored the ways in which priming for death has the potential to increase intimacy in partnerships. In addition to seeing patients, Dr. Jordana Jacobs now gives talks and leads meditations aimed towards helping people accept inevitable mortality so that they are able to live and love more fully. Show notes: Must-read book: On life After Death by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross https://amzn.to/2Nh4K2X Embodied Archetype Retreat: Unlock parts of yourself that you've been shaming, blaming or hiding for too long. Apply: http://maddymoon.com/retreat Feminine Spirit School - the one-stop-shop for all things feminine energy: http://maddymoon.com/feminine-spirit Dr. Jordana Jacob’s background that led her to this impactful work. The destructive narratives that we tell ourselves about death. Why thinking we might go to hell is still preferable to many people rather than the unknown. The incredible story of her great aunt who survived the holocaust with false papers who was in love with a German officer.  Why death was incredibly helpful to think about when she was going through heartbreak. “Death is an anchor.” Death is really about surrender and lack of control. “Fire meets air.” Esther Perel https://www.estherperel.com/ Buddhist parable: real flowers vs plastic flowers. “The more you try to stop it, the more it will come.” “Anything we cling to is a form of attachment.” What Dr. Jordana Jacob says to people who have a tremendous fear of death. “Fear and love can’t live in the same house.” Bobby Klein https://www.bobbyklein.com/  Two questions to ask at the end of your life: Am I love and did I love? The pure, unconditional love we have for animals and how to process their deaths. What Dr. Jordana Jacob thinks happens when we die. The importance of “death reminders.” “You have to think about death 5 times a day in order to live fully.” Death reminder app: https://www.wecroak.com/ Her written exercise to put death into perspective. “We live 2 lives, and the second one begins when we realize we only have one.” - Confucius  If you act out of fear, you speed up your life. “Presence is where we access love.” “Dating: We’re doing it wrong” article: https://www.wearedore.com/features/dating-were-doing-it-wrong/ Must read: Let's Talk About Death Over Dinner by Michael Hebb https://amzn.to/2MR0lEP Must-read: The 5 Invitations by Frank Ostaseski https://amzn.to/32NimJP Connect with Dr. Jordana Jacobs: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjordanajacobs/ Website: https://jordanajacobsphd.com/ [Tweet ""We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one." - Confucius #mindbodymusings"] COACHING: receive personalized, 1:1 coaching from Maddy Moon to create your own feminine and masculine embodiment. Heal your heart, build confidence, create an online business (if that’s a goal!) or simply feel happier. Apply here: http://maddymoon.com/coaching FEMININE SPIRIT SCHOOL: this school is the one-stop-shop for all things feminine energy! If you’ve been wanting to embody the feminine but feel stuck on the how, this program will take you through the entire realm from start to (well…we’re never really finished, are we?). Learn about the feminine/masculine, shadow sides, ancestral healing, boundary setting, empowerment,

Jerry and Helen are excited to share their interview with Michael Hebb, the author of "Let's Have Dinner and Talk About Death”, and the founder of Death Over Dinner.  According to the Death Over Dinner website, Michael “ has been staging convivial gatherings and redefining hospitality/tablemaking since 1997; co-founding the City Repair project with Mark Lakeman; and co-founding family supper, ripe, clarklewis, and the Gotham Bldg Tavern in Portland OR with Naomi Pomeroy. His expansive multidisciplinary dinners have taken place on five continents, have been exhibited in several museums and featured in the NY Times, W, Art Forum, The New Yorker, GQ, The Guardian and dozens of international publications. Michael strongly believes that the table is one of the most effective (and overlooked) vehicles for changing the world. You can learn more about Michael and the many resources he offers at his website, Round Glass, and also read about his book Let's Talk About Death Over Dinner.  Listen to more podcasts from The Heart of Hospice to learn about advance care planning, self care, hospice philosophy, and how you can volunteer with a hospice agency in your area. When you visit theheartofhospice.com, take a minute to subscribe to the podcast so you can listen on your favorite podcast spot - Google Play, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Radio.com, or Apple podcasts.

Michael Hebb is the founder of Death Over Dinner.org and the author of “Let's Talk about Death (over Dinner): An Invitation and Guide to Life's Most Important Conversation”. He’s also the founder of Convivium, a creative agency that specializes in the ability to shift culture through the use of thoughtful food and discourse-based gatherings. Convivium has worked closely with thought/cultural leaders and many foundations/institutions including: The World Economic Forum, Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, TED, Apple, United Nations Foundation and The Nature Conservancy. Learn more at DeathOverDinner.org. Find out more about the Zestful Aging Podcast at NicoleChristina.com, and become a patron at Patreon.com/ZestfulAging.

When you invite people over for a dinner party, you likely think of some delightful conversation topics to bring up to keep your guests engaged. My guest today argues that one of those topics should be death. His name is Michael Hebb and he’s the founder of Death Over Dinner, an organization that encourages folks to have dinner parties to talk about death -- from the philosophical aspects to practical matters like wills and funeral planning.  Today on the show we discuss why you should invite friends and family to your house to talk death over a plate of lasagna. We begin our conversation discussing the downsides of not talking about death and how ill-prepared Americans are for death both emotionally and financially. Michael then shares the best ways to invite people to a death over dinner party. We then dig into questions you can use to get people talking about death in terms of both the practical and the philosophical.  True story: after I recorded this episode, I had dinner with some friends and we discussed death and estate planning over pizza. It was a big success. Get the show notes at aom.is/deathoverdinner.

For the past 20 years Michael has been working to understand the secrets of human connection. His projects have turned into international movements and impacted millions. His second book "Let's Talk About Death" published by Hachette/Da Capo will be available in the U.S., U.K., and Australia in October of 2018. Michael recently became a Partner at RoundGlass to further expand his efforts to impact global well being.  In 1999 Michael and Naomi Pomeroy co-founded Family Supper in Portland, a supper club that is credited with starting the pop-up restaurant movement. In the years following they opened the restaurants clarklewis and Gotham Bldg Tavern, garnering international acclaim.  After leaving Portland, Hebb built Convivium/One Pot, a creative agency that specialized in the ability to shift culture through the use of thoughtful food and discourse based gatherings. Convivium's client list includes: The Obama Foundation, Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, TEDMED, The World Economic Forum, Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, Clinton Global Initiative, X Prize Foundation, The Nature Conservancy. Are you looking to find your purpose, navigate transition or fix your relationships, all with a powerful group of men from around the world? Check out The Alliance and join me today. Check out our Facebook Page or the Men's community. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts  | Spotify For more episodes visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter    Did you enjoy the podcast? If so please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. It helps our podcast get into the ears of new listeners, which expands the ManTalks Community Editing & Mixing by: Aaron The Tech

Let's Talk about Death by Michael Hebb Written by Leigh Martinuzzi For many of us, the conversation about death is one we’d prefer to avoid not to mention one that we'd be delighted to have while enjoying a meal around the dinner table. In this book, the author, Michael Hebb not only encourages us to talk about death but inspires it. Without a doubt a difficult and uncomfortable topic of conversation yet one that has significant importance. Death will happen to us all, at least for the inevitable future, and when that time comes remains largely undecided. It may be that we live a healthy long life, fortunately passing of natural causes, on the other hand, life may be taken from us earlier than desired by illness or accident. Whatever the case, it’s a guarantee and from what I can gather when that day does come, it is something that is hard to navigate, understand, appreciate and manager regardless of whether it’s us or someone else we know.

For the past 20 years Michael has been working to understand the secrets of human connection. His projects have turned into international movements and impacted millions. With his second book, “Let’s Talk About Death” he continues to push the boundaries around the dinner table and in conversation. He recently became a Partner at RoundGlass to further expand his efforts to impact global well being. Michael is the Founder of Deathoverdinner.org, Drugsoverdinner.org, EarthtoDinner.org and WomenTeachMen.org. He currently serves as a Board Advisor at the Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy at Tufts; and in the recent past as Senior Advisor to Summit Series, Theo Chocolate, Learnist, Caffe Vita, CreativeLive, Architecture For Humanity, ONETASTE and Mosaic Voices Foundation. Visit journal.kyoapp.com for full show notes Take our daily reflection app KYŌ for a spin Music: Clouds - Joakim Karud https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9O13PpAoVdI

Host Jini Palmer speaks with Megan Castillo, Town Hall's Community Engagement Manager, about our community's responses on social media about favorite Town Hall moments (2:15). Jini and Steve highlight a selection of interviews which didn't make it into previous episodes. Speakers include: Blair Imani with Monica Guzman (31:25); Arnie Duncan with Steve Scher (33:28); Denise Hearn with Alex Gallo-Brown (37:58); Rob Reich with Steve Scher (40:10); Randy Shaw with Tammy Morales (44:44); David Reich with Steve Scher (47:19); David Hu with Grace Hamilton (51:41); and Michael Hebb with Lesley Hazleton (53:27). Get an insider's look and stay in the know about what's going on in this moment at Town Hall.

Michael Hebb, author of Let’s Talk About Death over Dinner. Topic: A guide to life’s most important conversation Issues: A series of several dozen prompts and conversation starters designed to stimulate productive discussions about what for many people are very difficult–yet very important–conversations. The post Let’s Talk About Death over Dinner appeared first on Mr. Dad.

How do we want to die? Few conversations we have throughout our lifetime are as critical as those about death. But according to Michael Hebb, co-founder of the end-of-life awareness campaign Death Over Dinner, it’s a conversation we’re not having often enough. Hebb pulled up a chair at Town Hall to share advice from his book Let’s Talk About Death (Over Dinner), offering keen advice about these conversations that ranges from spiritual to practical to downright funny and surprising. Hebb met with award-winning photographer Chase Jarvis, and together they offered us a chance to cast an unflinching eye at the end of life. Hebb and Jarvis encouraged us to transform the seemingly difficult conversation about death into one of deep engagement, insight, and empowerment. Join Hebb and Jarvis for an evening that transforms one of the most universally difficult conversations into a celebratory and meaningful opportunity—and explore ways to change not just the way we die, but the way we live. A few renowned NW musicians will be joining these speakers and singing their favorite death-themed songs. Expect to hear from singer songwriter Kaylee Cole, Luz Elena (Y La Bamba) and friends. Recorded live at The Collective by Town Hall Seattle on Thursday, October 11, 2018.

Michael Hebb is an artist, activist, restaurateur, long time friend of mine and probably the closest thing that comes to an expert on death. He is a hyphenated renegade, seemingly more comfortable swimming upstream and addressing taboo subjects than he is going with the crowd. He co-founded Portland’s unsanctioned underground food movement, was my co-conspirator for Songs for Eating and Drinking, and he recently wrote a powerful book about death that will change the way you view life. Let’s Talk About Death (Over Dinner) is a tactical guide for having the most important conversations with yourself and your loved ones about what you want when you die, but more importantly what you want out of life. This book and this conversation is about tapping into the human experience to help you live a more fulfilled and creative life. Thinking and talking about death will make you laugh more, bring you perspective and clarity onto your life, and will bring you closer to those around you.  You'll also be glad to know, You can do whatever your craft is with whatever supplies, tools, and environment at your disposal. Michael didn’t even have a commercial kitchen (or the FDA’s approval) when he started Family Supper. Don’t focus on what you don’t have; focus on the thing/experience/art/outcome you want to create. Start by starting. We need to talk about death. The taboo and repression around talking about death is causing us financial, emotional and even physical problems as individuals and as a society. Check out deathoverdinner.org if you need a little help talking about death with your loved ones. Death puts life into perspective. There are no experts on death. Nobody knows what happens after you die. What we do know is that death is a human experience and we will all face it eventually. What happens between now and then is something you can (and should) plan. Let death help guide how you live your life. Enjoy! Today's episode is brought to you by CreativeLive. CreativeLive is the world's largest hub for online creative education in photo/video, art/design, music/audio, craft/maker and the ability to make a living in any of those disciplines. They are high quality, highly curated classes taught by the world’s top experts -- Pulitzer, Oscar, Grammy Award winners, New York Times best selling authors and the best entrepreneurs of our times. 

Correspondent Lesley Hazleton chats with Michael Hebb about the exhilaration she experienced at one of his Death over Dinner events and the kinship that can occur when talking about hard topics, even between strangers (2:05). Chief Correspondent Steve Scher brings us two back-to-back conversations—first he interviews Chris Hedges, who urges us to fight for the future of our country and stand up to prevent the collapse of our society (16:35). Then Steve sits down with David Reich to learn about our ever-changing understanding of ourselves based on ancient DNA research (25:18). And Jini Palmer selects a stand-out moment from Jose Antonio Vargas event in conversation with Ijeoma Oluo, highlighting an audience question about activism and the ways we can make a difference (27:18). Get an insider's look and stay in the know about what's going on in this moment at Town Hall.

Modernizing and  medicalizing death is something our culture has become very good at. And there are both positives and negatives associated with this. Michael Hebb's life experience with death, at an early age,  set him on a path that most of us don't encounter until much later in life. What were devastating life experiences for a child,  molded Michael into a deep thinker. Someone who is able to help us all face difficult transitions. And conversations. It is never too early to talk about death. Michael's early life experiences  were, in part,  what prompted him to  launch "Death Over Dinner", a program that utilizes the dinner table to have difficult conversations with our family and other loved ones about death. About how to honor our loved ones by following through with their wishes. This starts with conversations with them about what they would want if they were unable to verbalize them. He also believes that in having these conversations, it allows us to know ourselves better and deeply connect us with our "communities", our family and friends that we would have these conversations with. But with ~75% of people expressing wishes to die at home, yet only ~25% of people do, there clearly is a disconnect. Death Over Dinner  can help start these tough conversations. As a result of the many positive experiences of the  Death Over Dinner  movement, a book was born, which shares some of these great, inspirational stories. It's called  Let's Talk About Death (Over Dinner) Don't assume that your loved one doesn't want to have this conversation. Often they don't want to upset YOU and start these "difficult conversations". Just ask. And it often takes more than one conversation. But if you start the conversation, each time your broach it, it may become easier. And Death Over Dinneris a tool that can help you have these difficult conversations. Click on the links above to access resources, and follow Michael and Death Over Dinner on social media : Facebook: Death Over Dinner Twitter: Death Over Dinner

Today my guest is Michael Hebb, a multidisciplinary artist whose medium is the table. It’s been said that in the realm of death there are no experts, but I don’t think that’s true. Michael has spent many, many, many years talking about death and is the founder of DeathOverDinner.org, an incredible movement that is bringing … Continue reading "Michael Hebb: Death Over Dinner"

In this episode of Life/Death/Law, Michael Hebb, the founder of Death Over Dinner, discusses his new book, Let's Talk About Death (Over Dinner): An Invitation and Guide to Life's Most Important Conversation. Since he founded Death Over Dinner in 2013, more than 100,000 dinners have been served where people have sat down together over a home-cooked meal to talk, really talk, about what they do and don't want at the end of their lives, and what they can do, now, to make both their lives and their deaths more meaningful for themselves and their loved ones. Michael is 100% right when he says that how we end our lives is the most important and costly conversation America is not having. If you have ever wondered how to get that conversation started, either for yourself or for someone you love, please listen.

This week's guest has a bit of history. Michael Hebb, founder of Deathoverdinner.org, Drugsoverdinner.org, EarthtoDinner.org, WomenTeachMen.com and The Living Wake, joins Dan this week to talk about the upcoming Women Teach Men event and partnering with Evryman. To sum it up in Michael's words, "We want men to learn the depths of spirituality, meditation, boxing, dancing, yoga, wilderness survival, cooking, business, creativity, and a million other things from the women we admire most. It's that simple." Michael shares with Dan his experience of leading his own men's retreat, Dan talks of finding a deeper connection, and the knowledge that can be gained from women. If you're interested in learning more you can visit their website and while you're at it buy a ticket! We would love to see you there. You can follow Women Teach Men on Facebook and Instagram. If you're interested in more of what Michael does you can get a small sample from his TEDMED talk. We're proud to announce that Evryman will be attending this event and hosting men's groups at this event. ALSO all proceeds of the event go towards women empowerment organizations chosen by the teachers.  Evryman's next outdoor adventure, the Yellowstone Expedition, is coming up in a month! Sign up for this amazing experience that takes place in June. Reach out to Dan (dan@evryman.co) to chat about the expedition scholarship he mentions at the beginning of the episode. Be sure to subscribe to the Evryman Podcast to stay up to date on our weekly episode. You can find us on most podcast listening sites such as Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, iHeartRadio, and more.

Michael Hebb is a true Renaissance man. He works to bring people together to create social change through his salons and dinner events including Death Over Dinner, Drugs Over Dinner, Earth to Dinner, and Women Teach Men. In today’s episode we discuss how he learned that he could do whatever the f*ck he wanted, how he got his life back after losing it all, and why he has chosen the dinner table as his go-to venue for creating social change. Learn more about The One & Only at AreYouBeingReal.com/166

On a train between Seattle and Portland, along the beautiful Puget Sound, University of Washington Teaching Fellow Michael Hebb had one of those serendipitous conversations that changed everything. In the salon car, Michael struck up a conversation with two strangers, both of whom were MDs, and learned two devastating facts:  The vast majority of American bankruptcies are related to end of life issues 75% of Americans want to die at home, yet only 25% actually do. This provoked Michael’s question to the doctors: Do you agree that how we end our lives is the most important and costly conversation that Americans are NOT having? The resounding answer was “Yes,” and a few months later, a groundbreaking initiative, called “Let's have dinner and   talk about death,” was born. In the years since that train ride, these innovative gatherings have taken place on five continents and have been exhibited in several museums, garnering coverage in The New York Times, W, Art Forum, The New Yorker, GQ, TedTalks, The Guardian and dozens of international publications. For the past 20 years Michael has been following the mandate: "My client is civilization." His projects have turned into international movements and impacted millions. Dinner at his house is, needless to say, unique. With help from friends like Gloria Steinem, Ben Affleck, Spike Lee, Gore Vidal, Clive Owen, and others, students and healthcare professionals share a meal talking about human life, cultural connections, and death. Bon Appétit!