Podcast appearances and mentions of wendy green

What if a tiny idea cooked up in your kitchen at 56 turned into a national beauty brand—and sparked a bold midlife reinvention?That's exactly what happened to Angel Cornelius, a healthcare administrator turned beauty entrepreneur who's transforming how midlife women care for and celebrate themselves. Now in her 60s, Angel is the visionary founder of Maison 276, a pro-age beauty brand on a mission to normalize aging, support our evolving beauty needs, and help us love the skin we're in.In this empowering episode of Reinvention Rebels, Angel shares her inspiring story—from DIY beauty experiments to being featured on QVC—and what she's learned along the way about trusting herself, taking risks, and building a brand rooted in authenticity and community.Key Highlights:

Today, we delve into the transformative journey of midlife friendships, exploring how these connections can enrich our lives as we grow and evolve. Years ago, I met Wendy Hutchinson online, a chance encounter that blossomed into a cherished friendship. Her journey as a quantum soul healer and author has been nothing short of inspiring, and in the latest episode, we unravel the intricate dance of midlife friendships and how these connections can be a source of reinvention and joy. Together, Wendy and I explore the serendipity of finding kindred spirits and the vital role intentional communication plays in cultivating these meaningful relationships.Midlife is a time of transformation, and our bonds must evolve alongside us. Whether it's a spontaneous meeting in Texas or a reconnection with someone online, genuine interactions hold the power to redefine our sense of community and support. We discuss:the necessity of setting boundaries reshaping our understanding of relationshipsthe power of self-discovery and authenticitynurturing the connections that truly resonate with our personal growth journeyBy honoring our personal journeys and building a supportive tribe, we can transform midlife into a period of new beginnings, where friendships illuminate the path to a more fulfilling life.Connect with Wendy:Website: alinealifecoaching.comInstagram: @mamahutch47Mentioned in the Episode:Magic Mind: Give Magic Mind mental performance shots a try. Go to magicmind.com/rebels to save up to 40% off of your first subscription or 20% off a one-time order. Use code REBELS20 at checkout.Prior episode: Celebrating Midlife & Menopause Transitions: Rediscovering Self Through Women's Empowerment Ceremonies with Angie LitvinoffPodcast Recommendation: Looking for inspiration about how to thrive as you age? Listen to Boomer Banter: Real Talk about Aging Well with Wendy Green. Loving the show? Text us and let us know!

Kathryn interviews Author Rhea Wessel.Are you brimming with groundbreaking ideas, eager to make a mark in business and tackle global challenges, yet feeling like your voice remains unheard? If so, you're not alone. In order to amplify your message and truly make an impact, mastering the art of idea discovery and communication is paramount. Thought leader, writer, and corporate thought-leadership writing trainer Rhea Wessel has recently honed her expertise, now placing a significant emphasis on ethical and innovative AI-infused writing. She explains techniques for generating a steady flow of story concepts that deeply resonate with your audience and offers guidance on evading common pitfalls and ethical missteps in business writing, ensuring a captivating and principled narrative. With a prolific career in journalism, Wessel has penned thousands of articles including for The NY Times, The Wall Street Journal, and BBC.Kathryn also interviews Author Dann Darwin.Wendy Green loves her husband — and almost never hates him — even after their decades-long marriage. She and Charles had met on a wintry day at a North Dallas gym. Charles feels instant surges of chemistry. Wendy needs a bit more convincing. But their attraction grows and deepens, and within a year they marry. Little do they know what awaits them. Dann Darwin delivers an intimate exploration of a relatable couple as life takes them from Texas to North Dakota and to Nevada throughout their 40-year relationship. Far from typical pulp fiction romances, Darwin depicts imperfect, relatable characters who make mistakes — lots of them, in fact — while navigating the inherent uncertainty of modern-day relationships. Darwin worked in the newspaper industry in Michigan, Texas, Utah and Nevada for nearly 40 years, where he won numerous awards, before turning to fiction and longer narratives.

Kathryn interviews Author Rhea Wessel.Are you brimming with groundbreaking ideas, eager to make a mark in business and tackle global challenges, yet feeling like your voice remains unheard? If so, you're not alone. In order to amplify your message and truly make an impact, mastering the art of idea discovery and communication is paramount. Thought leader, writer, and corporate thought-leadership writing trainer Rhea Wessel has recently honed her expertise, now placing a significant emphasis on ethical and innovative AI-infused writing. She explains techniques for generating a steady flow of story concepts that deeply resonate with your audience and offers guidance on evading common pitfalls and ethical missteps in business writing, ensuring a captivating and principled narrative. With a prolific career in journalism, Wessel has penned thousands of articles including for The NY Times, The Wall Street Journal, and BBC.Kathryn also interviews Author Dann Darwin.Wendy Green loves her husband — and almost never hates him — even after their decades-long marriage. She and Charles had met on a wintry day at a North Dallas gym. Charles feels instant surges of chemistry. Wendy needs a bit more convincing. But their attraction grows and deepens, and within a year they marry. Little do they know what awaits them. Dann Darwin delivers an intimate exploration of a relatable couple as life takes them from Texas to North Dakota and to Nevada throughout their 40-year relationship. Far from typical pulp fiction romances, Darwin depicts imperfect, relatable characters who make mistakes — lots of them, in fact — while navigating the inherent uncertainty of modern-day relationships. Darwin worked in the newspaper industry in Michigan, Texas, Utah and Nevada for nearly 40 years, where he won numerous awards, before turning to fiction and longer narratives.

Meet Wendy Green, aka @lovewithpurpose, an International Intuitive Reiki Master who took a solo trip to Disney World as part of her work to heal her inner child. We talk about how liberating and light-filled a trip to Disney World can be, and the magic of going by yourself. Not interested in Small World? Skip it! Want Dole Whip for three meals a day? Go for it! Such an inspiring conversation. FOLLOW Wendy: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovewithpurpose/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendy.smithozug FOLLOW me: Insta: https://www.instagram.com/Disney_Solo_Magic/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DisneySoloMagic Threads: https://www.threads.net/@Disney_Solo_Magic More tips and tricks available at: https://disneysolomagic.blogspot.com/

Wendy Green, founder and host of Hey, Boomer,! knows about personal transformation first-hand and coaches women to “live the meaningful, purposeful life they want to live.” Wendy left the world of corporate training to focus on women's experiences of growing older—as a coach, podcaster, show host, and blogger. Podcast guests, along with members of Boomer Banter, talk about a range of topics such as family dynamics, gray divorce, changing relationships, feeling old, and the vital value of female friendships.  I still feel inside the younger parts of me. - Wendy GreenConnect with WendyEmail: wendy@heyboomer.bizWebsite: https://heyboomer.biz

This week's episode is about how life as a baby boomer can still be full of opportunity. My guest today is Wendy Green.  Wendy is now the host of the inspiring live show & podcast. “Hey, Boomer!” which is FULL OF REAL TALK ABOUT AGING WELL.  Wendy's serves an important inspirational role for people 55 to 75, who are looking for ways to live meaningful, fulfilling lives. Her goal is to help people see that they are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream. Learn more: https://suzyrosenstein.com/podcast/ep-365-life-as-a-baby-boomer-can-be-full-of-opportunity-with-wendy-green/

Wendy Green is both a Boomer podcaster and a coach to help people find their vision for the next chapter of life. In this episode we discuss: Estrangement from siblings Estrangement from children Estrangement from friends Interesting topics as both of us have estrangement in our lives… and there's a good chance you might too. I mentioned Wendy's a Boomer podcaster too.  A bonus discussion is what an amazing experience podcasting is for both of us; how our boomer cohort is very much still on the outside looking in… and how we want you to help us spread the word what a great companion podcasts are, whether you're a listener or a host.  The subject matter is as varied as the hosts and all the listeners – there really is something for everyone.! Find Wendy at https://heyboomer.biz/ Learn more about Wendy and find all her links at: https://boomwithabang.com/the-boomer-womans-podcast-wendy-green/  

In episode 139 Jill and Chris interview podcast host Wendy Green who helps people to feel more purposeful and engaged with life. She helps them increase their confidence to re-Imagine their next chapter, helping them understand that they still have a lot left to give and that they can have a positive impact on their lives and their community. Wendy Green is the host of the live show & podcast. “Hey, Boomer!”  Her goal is to serve an inspirational role for people 55 to 75, who are looking for ways to live meaningful, fulfilling lives. Wendy wants to help people see that they are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream. We met Wendy Green in Denver when we were at Podcast Movement, the conference for podcasters. We hit it off right away. We were women of a certain age who host podcasts and discovered we have a lot in common. We realized very quickly that Wendy should be a guest on our podcast. She lives in Greenville, SC. She has two children and four grandchildren. More info: see our website at BecomingElli.com

Bill & Becky chat about the conference Podcast Movement and our show live from the FinCon Booth. Resources mentioned on the show: FinCon Podcast Movement FI Tax Guy Sean Mullaney's YouTube Channel Stacking Benjamins Afford Anything with Paula Pant Lynn Frair: The 8 Forms of Capital Bigger Pockets Money with Mindy Jensen and Scott Trench Bite Your Tongue Podcast with Denise Gorant and Dr. Ellen Braaten Hey, Boomer! Podcast with Wendy Green info@catchinguptofi.com  

Are you contemplating retirement, or a Baby Boomer looking to make a meaningful change in your life? Join us on Women Lead Radio as Marilou Ryder, your host of Ageless Ambition, has a conversation with Wendy Green, Transition Coach and the host of the captivating podcast Hey, Boomer!, which she launched right after her own retirement. With countless interviews under her belt, Wendy will empower listeners with innovative ideas about what's possible as we age.   Sponsor Appreciation! Thank you to our partner and show sponsor,  National University (www.nu.edu)!   Interested in Learning More About Connected Women of Influence? Click Here (https://connectedwomenofinfluence.com/attend-an-event-as-our-guest/) to Be Invited as Our Special VIP & Guest to a Future Event!     Interested in Becoming a Member of Our Professional Community!? Click Here (https://connectedwomenofinfluence.com/membership-application/) to Apply for Membership!

Remember when your limits were only as far as your imagination could take you? When you believed you could be anything and age was merely a number? Well, hold on tight as we take you on a memorable journey, celebrating extraordinary women who haven't just dared to dream, but have reinvented themselves to turn those dreams into reality. Age is just a number for these inspiring women who have all broken the mold and rewritten the narrative of what aging truly means.  Were they scared? Heck yes! But they didn't let that stop them! These stories of reinvention will fill you with awe and they may just  ignite a spark within you:✅Wendy Green, 69,  hosts Hey, Boomer live podcast✅Patricia Melton, Reinvention-ista at 63✅Michelle Fishburne, 12K Mile Solo RV Trek during COVID✅Randye Kaye, Reinvention (Again!) at 70✅Dahlia Douglas-Ingram, Instagram "Fit-fluencer" at 55✅Robin Salls, Created first-ever magazine for silver-haired women✅Ana Tajder, Breakdown + Intuition = Midlife Reinvention✅Kathy Murray, Award-winning triathlete at 62✅Jenn Baljko, 3-year trek from Bangkok to Barcelona✅Ellen Pankey, 74, Reinvention after life-threatening accident✅Lisa Franco, antique shop + WWII love letters = first-time author at 66This season finale episode is about taking control of your destiny, challenging the norm, and daring to live the amazing life you so richly deserve  (Yes, YOU!) despites obstacles in your way. It's time we flip the script on ageism, embrace possibility, and keep shining our light in the world.When one woman reinvents to see new possibilities, she signals to the rest of us that we can do it too, in our own unique way. These extraordinary women will help you see the light and get into action despite your fears.Listen to this engaging highlights episode, then tune into each of these fierce and empowering reinvention stories, linked above. And don't forget to download the Do It Scared, Do It Anyway Cheat Sheet. Season 6 is coming soon. Until then, stay radiant, stay rebelicious and stay tuned! ***** Please Share What You LovedYour feedback means everything to me! If you enjoyed this episode please rate and review on Apple Podcasts, Podchaser, Castbox or leave a comment at Ready to pursue your midlife and beyond dreams? Here's a simple and fun way to get started and kick uncertainty to the curb! Download my audio cheat sheet, 5 Questions to Spark Your Curiosity and Inspire Your Reinvention Journey. Let's get inspired together.

Our guest Wendy Green is host of the podcast “Hey Boomer” created to help baby boomers find a purpose, stay engaged in the world, and increase their confidence to recreate their lives or see their dreams come alive. Based in Greenville, South Carolina, Wendy started her podcast after a long career in training and development with the desire to continue to stay relevant, and to make a difference in peoples lives.

26 organisations across Australasia have been trialling the four day work week and the results are in. The idea is employees get 100% of the pay for working 80% of their previous hours in exchange for a commitment to maintain 100% productivity. We'll find out how you practically implement the four day work week with Wendy Green from Momentum Mental Health, a business in southern Queensland, as well as Australasian CEO Charlotte Lockhart. Headlines: Bride and groom issue statement after bus tragedy Voice referendum bill passes the senate Time is running out for PFAS claimants Major search for Titanic submersible underway East coast faces coldest days in five years   Follow The Briefing:Instagram: @thebriefingpodcast Facebook: TheBriefingNewsAUTwitter: @TheBriefingAU  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get ready to play and step into possibilities because today's show is going to help you have more fun at midlife and navigate what's next. You'll discover that having fun is actually good for you. As our first guest Dr. Mike Rucker explains, having fun is not just for pleasure, but a vital component of living a fulfilling life. When we let it, fun can improve our mental well-being, boost creativity, and increase productivity. Then we'll be talking with life coach and podcaster, Wendy Green who is going to help you discover how to navigate the midlife transformational journey with more joy and ease.

Get ready to play and step into possibilities because today's show is going to help you have more fun at midlife and navigate what's next. You'll discover that having fun is actually good for you. As our first guest Dr. Mike Rucker explains, having fun is not just for pleasure, but a vital component of living a fulfilling life. When we let it, fun can improve our mental well-being, boost creativity, and increase productivity. Then we'll be talking with life coach and podcaster, Wendy Green who is going to help you discover how to navigate the midlife transformational journey with more joy and ease.

What if it was possible to reinvent yourself in your 60s, 70s or beyond? And what if that reinvention helped you feel confident and empowered?Wouldn't you want to go for it and navigate your later years with joy, excitement and satisfaction?Don't you love the idea of finding a tribe of people that "get you" and celebrate all that you are becoming?The good news: it's completely possible to reinvent yourself in this way!Yes YOU.Don't believe me? Ask podcast host Wendy Green. She's done just that and guess what? You can too!Wendy has reinvented herself in a soul-filling way. She is living on purpose and has found what lights her up. She is truly living her best life.And she's joyfully helping older adults along their reinvention path too.As the host of Hey, Boomer, a weekly live show and podcast, this 69-year young Reinvention Rebel is on fire and in the zone! I love what Wendy shares about:✅ What inspired her to start a podcast in her late 60s✅ How a desire to connect with friends to talk about aging grew into a live show on 3 platforms (Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube)✅ Why reinventing herself later in life is more meaningful than earlier reinventions✅ How she created a can-do spirit of trying new things and conquered her fears (like learning new technology)✅ Why we're never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dreamWendy's story is inspiring! She shares wisdom to help us navigate later-in-life reinvention. And she helps us see that when we really want to do something, we can feel the fear and do it anyway.Lean in and listen to this episode and let it help fuel your reinvention dreams and inspire you to action!   Connect with Wendy:Website: heyboomer.bizEmail: wendy@heyboomer.bizInstagram: @heyboomerpodcastFacebook: Hey, Boomer Facebook pageMentioned in this episode:Reinventing My 80s: Taking Center Stage - How I Launched a Full-Time Acting Career with Stephanie SchwartzMy Midlife Reinvention in Spain: From Academia to the Oprah of Menopause with Lori TharpsReady to pursue your midlife and beyond dreams? Here's a simple and fun way to get started and kick uncertainty to the curb! Download my audio cheat sheet, 5 Questions to Spark Your Curiosity and Inspire Your Reinvention Journey. Let's get inspired together.

Hey, Boomer: Are You Living a Life of Passion, Relevance, and Courage? This program explores the topic of reinventing oneself post-retirement. Our guest, Wendy Green, hosts her own podcast, Hey Boomer. She shares her messages on preparing for the decades we have left after we retire, and how to envision a life ahead of evolving from where we were to where we want to be. Is there passion in these “boomer years?” How can we live a life that is relevant and meaningful? And where does courage come into the picture? Wendy highlights the importance of keeping our dreams alive, and that we are not too old to pursue what we want in our senior years. Be sure to join us. Mini Bio Wendy Green, host of the inspiring live show & podcast. “Hey, Boomer!” is serving an important inspirational role for people 55 to 75, who are looking for ways to live meaningful, fulfilling lives.   Her goal is to help people see that they are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream. Graduating from University of NC at Asheville. with a degree in Computer Science, Wendy entered the computer field as a programmer and moved into customer support at Digital Equipment Corp. It was at Digital that she built and grew the US Expertise Center. After moving to Maryland, she earned a Certificate from Georgetown Univ. in Change Leadership. In 2005 she started a KidzArt business, an after-school enrichment program and was recognized as the Franchisee of the Year in 2009. In 2013 she trained for and was certified as a Life Coach. Besides the podcast, Wendy offers a 6-week “What's Next” group coaching program to help people find their vision for the next chapter of life. For Our Listeners Wendy's website: Hey Boomer Take Our Listener Survey

Hey, Boomer: Are You Living a Life of Passion, Relevance, and Courage? This program explores the topic of reinventing oneself post-retirement. Our guest, Wendy Green, hosts her own podcast, Hey Boomer. She shares her messages on preparing for the decades we have left after we retire, and how to envision a life ahead of evolving from where we were to where we want to be. Is there passion in these “boomer years?” How can we live a life that is relevant and meaningful? And where does courage come into the picture? Wendy highlights the importance of keeping our dreams alive, and that we are not too old to pursue what we want in our senior years. Be sure to join us. Mini Bio Wendy Green, host of the inspiring live show & podcast. “Hey, Boomer!” is serving an important inspirational role for people 55 to 75, who are looking for ways to live meaningful, fulfilling lives. Her goal is to help people see that they are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream. Graduating from University of NC at Asheville. with a degree in Computer Science, Wendy entered the computer field as a programmer and moved into customer support at Digital Equipment Corp. It was at Digital that she built and grew the US Expertise Center. After moving to Maryland, she earned a Certificate from Georgetown Univ. in Change Leadership. In 2005 she started a KidzArt business, an after-school enrichment program and was recognized as the Franchisee of the Year in 2009. In 2013 she trained for and was certified as a Life Coach. Besides the podcast, Wendy offers a 6-week “What's Next” group coaching program to help people find their vision for the next chapter of life. For Our Listeners Wendy's website: Hey Boomer Take Our Listener Survey See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Sara Hart, who at the age of 74 cycled 540 miles in the AIDS ride from San Francisco to LA is a woman on a mission. She is helping older women find the spark in their lives to light their way in the world.Sara had an idea that she wanted to do something to address how society sees older women and find ways to turn that around. After a couple of interesting interactions, she realized that PrimeSpark would be her vehicle for change.In this episode we talked about transitions and how they take time and they can be scary. We talked about how women's roles in our society have changed since the 1950's and 1960's, and that there is still a lot to do.Sara shared some of the lessons she has learned from transitioning from a corporate career to having her own business and from her own business to being a podcast host and coach.She also invited us to attend her upcoming virtual conference.Episode Takeaways:Think about what is most important to you at this point in your life.If you need support, ask for help.Realize that you are enough and that the world needs you!Thanks so much for listening.Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or SpotifyFollow us on Facebook and InstagramYou can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz–Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through thesometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.”Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop–Links for Sara Hart:sarahart@hartcom.comprimesparkwomen.comwomenover50conference.comPlease support our sponsor, Road Scholarroadscholar.org/heyboomer

Have you had the experience where a healthcare professional seems to speak in a condescending manner to you or to your older parent? Have you been called "sweetie" or "dear" one time too often? How about when the healthcare worker asks a question like "What would we like for dinner?"Jeanette Leardi is a social gerontologist who realized how ageism was affecting older adults in healthcare situations when she was the caregiver for her parents. She is a writer, speaker, educator and advocate for redefining aging in our society.In this episode we talk about ageism in the healthcare industry. Healthcare professionals have been exhausted after several years of dealing with the pandemic. Many have left the profession. How can we advocate for ourselves in an environment where doctors and nurses a feeling stretched to the limit?One thing to remember is that we are consumers of healthcare; we are the buyers and we have rights and responsibilities as the consumers.We answered the question about what to look for, and how to go about, shopping for doctors. When you think about it, we take more time shopping for a car then we do for a doctor, but our bodies are going to hopefully last much longer than our latest car.Jeanette explained who should be on our care team and how they would best work together. We covered her Smart Patient tips, which follow the acronym HEALTH.Higher your teamEnlist a care partnerAsk effective questionsLearn about your bodyTake care and control of your careHave vital plans in placeThanks so much for listening.Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or SpotifyFollow us on Facebook, LinkedIn and InstagramYou can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz_Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through thesometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.”Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop–You can find Jeanette at jeanetteleardi.com Our website is heyboomer.bizOur Road Scholar sponsor can be found at roadscholar.org/heyboomer

Mark Twain said, "The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."Purpose is your natural way of being and your purpose may change over your lifetime. It is not static. When we leave our careers many of us lose our sense of identity and then we lose our reason to get up in the morning.Anna Hall worked in senior living communities, and she saw how the residents that had a sense of purpose were more resilient, they were happier, had better mental health and motivation for each day. This sparked her research and the development of The Purpose Equation. The secret ingredient that fuels your innate purpose is tapping into your sense of joy. Anna has an experience that she takes you through called JoyFuel. We talk about what I discovered when I went through this experience with her.We also talked about the impact of understanding our individual purpose and joy, as well as understanding that of our partners or our co-workers improves relationships, increases patience and understanding.Episode Takeaways:Humans need a sense of meaning to thrive.How do you like to help people? Digging into that can help you discover joy and purpose.Everyone has a purpose inside. It is with you and accessible.Purpose is not a role or a goalPurpose helps improve health, wellness, outlook and mindset.Thanks so much for listening.Subscribe to Hey, Boomer on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or SpotifyFollow us on Facebook and InstagramYou can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.bizSubscribe to our email list at bit.ly/heyboomer-subscribe–Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through thesometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.”Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop–You can reach Anna Hall at anna@thepurposeequation.comHer website is thepurposeequation.com. Check out Road Scholar at roadscholar.org/heyboomer. Register for the Costa Rica webinar at bit.ly/heyboomer-costarica

Dennis Gillan lost 2 brothers to suicide in the span of 11 years. It took him a long time before he could talk about this loss. Now he has started a non-profit organization called HalfASorrow.org to educate people about suicide prevention.In this episode Dennis shared how he began to address the problem initially by volunteering on a suicide hotline. It took awhile before he could talk about what happened to his own brothers.The rate of completed suicides is higher than the national average in the 55-64 year old age range. Illness is a big factor in this group, as is loneliness. As we age we tend to lose friends, we lose groups we were once part of. We lose connection and purpose.Dennis shared some of the warning signs a person might exhibit when they are contemplating suicide. He also gave us some tips on how to address our concerns directly to the person we suspect is having these thoughts.The nation-wide suicide prevention hotline is 988.Episode Takeaways:If you suspect someone is contemplating suicide, ask them, "are you ok? are you thinking about suicide?"If they say yes, ask if they have a plan. Then find a way to get them to talk about reasons to live (like a pet, a child, etc)How to volunteer for a suicide hotlineThanks so much for listening.Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or SpotifyFollow us on Facebook and InstagramYou can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz–Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through thesometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.”Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop–You can reach Dennis Gillan at dennis@halfasorrow.orgOr check out the website www.halfasorrow.org

She was a young girl when her family emigrated from Czechoslovakia after WWII. Some of the family was not able to leave, some of the family moved to Bavaria in Germany.Pipka Ulvilden was raised in North Dakota, and Michigan and now lives in Sister Bay, Wisconsin, an idealic artist community by Lake Michigan. As a single mother she made the decision to be a full-time artist and opened a boutique shop where she sold her artwork. Her shop became known for the olde-world Santas she designed and for the peasant painted furniture.It was in her shop that she began sharing her grandmother's almond cake.Right before the pandemic shut everything down, Pipka had made the decision to close her shop. The isolation was difficult after being such a well-respected, important part of the community. Once we could socialize again, Pipka began baking the almond cake, and variations of the almond cake and selling them at the Farmer's Market.She is still involved in her transition, and she left us with some beautiful takeaways.Episode Takeaways:Have a positive attitudeDon't expect it (the transition) will be easyPut yourself out there - ideas will comeSometimes you have to motivate yourselfMake mood boardsInstead of retired, be inspired.Thanks so much for listening.Subscribe on ApplePodcast, Stitcher , GooglePodcast. or SpotifyFollow us on Facebook and InstagramYou can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz–Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes-uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.”Schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation and get inspired about life again. https://calendly.com/heyboomer/20minYou can find Pipka's webpage at www.pipkas.comGSFSpkkb7tjUJzTS8Cceor you can email her at eatcake@pipkas.com

This is a story of inspiration, of what we can do when we want to and surround ourselves with people who believe in us. It started out as a story of Margaret Caterisano, the costume designer at Furman University, who started to write plays during the pandemic. She submitted one of her plays to the SheNYC 2022 Summer Arts Festival and her play was selected as one of 9 out of over 300 submissions to be produced. The episode recounts the journey, some of the challenges and lessons learned. It tells us how Margaret Oakes joined the cast 2 weeks before the production was to go live in NY. As one might expect, there were some wonerful, inspiring lessons these two talented and brave women shared with us. Lessons of love and family. Lessons of stepping into challenges. Lessons of taking advantage of doors when they open. Episode Takeaways: 1. "Buy the red jeep." 2. Set challenges for yourself 3. Feel like superwoman 4. "I can do anything." Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Schedule a 20-minute discovery call to get some clarity about what is next for you. https://calendly.com/heyboomer/20min  – You can find Margaret Caterisano at margaret.caterisano@furman.edu  – You can find Margaret Oakes at margaret.oakes@furman.edu 

The year was 1970. The prior year my family had visited Washington and I saw all these young people working on the floor of the Senate. They were Senate pages, and that looked like something I really wanted to do. For some reason, I did not notice that they were all boys.   In 1970, when I was 16, I wrote to my Senator about being his page. I was told that girls were not allowed to be pages. That started my journey to get the opportunity. Listen as I retell the story and how it evolved with the help of my father.  Because it was the time of the women's movement, it became a national story. At 16, I had no frame of reference as to how to handle all the attention. It is a story of triumph and courage and reslilience and overcoming obstacles. I hope you find it meaningful Episode Takeaways: 1. Don't get stuck in negative messaging 2. Tell yourself your are relevant, you are meaningful, you can and do make a diffrence. 3. Find your voice. 4. Define how you want to be. Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” To schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation go to https://calendly.com/heyboomer/20min  – You can email me at wendy@heyboomer.biz

Omkari Williams went from a career as an actor to political campaigns and fundraising to activism. She walks us through this transition and what was the turning point that guided her into activism. Her work with her clients and in her training is to help people find sustainable ways to contribute to society and make a difference. We all matter and we all have a role to play. She encourages people to do what they do in small increments and to do it consistently ... to take responsibility to make the contributions that only you can make. We talked about intergenerational work and empowering older adults to share wisdom. We talked about the racial divide, how we got here and jpw we are starting to recognize that we all have a responsiblity to address the issues today. Episode Takeaways/Dreams: 1. That every well-meaning person on the planet is involved in some form of activism everyday. 2. We are a society that function best when working for the health and well-being of everyone. Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow us on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – You can find Omkari at omkariwilliams.com 

Rhonda Cook was a gutsy reporter who "fell into" her work as an inmate advocate. She developed the trust of inmates in the prisons where she was was assigned and they would call her and let her know about what was going on in the prisons. In 1998 she started to hear about sexual abuse in a woman's prison. The story covered 18 months of work, and resulted in multiple firings and changes in the prison. Many felony charges were filed, but no one served any time. Rhonda talked about how she viewed each story in an unbiased way, learning that everybody had a story and everybody hds a truth that was their truth.  Now that she has retired from reporting, she is finding her voice as a social justice advocate, finding the greatest satisfaction in the voter protection work she is doing. Episode Takeaways: 1. Decide how you want to live the rest of your life. 2. There are many causes that need advocates. 3. Whatever it is that you care about, just go do it, and do it with all the zesto you can! Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – You can find Rhonda at rhonda_cook@bellsouth.net

Live Life in Crescendo was the personal mantra of Stephen R. Covey, author of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. He worked with his daughter, Cynthia Covey Haller, to share his ideas about the Crescendo Mentality. Unfortunately, Stephen, R. Covey passed away before the books was completed, but Cynthia continued the work and released the book last month. In this episode, she shares that her Dad did not believe in retirement. He felt that after your career you should still be making meaningful contributions, and living in crescendo for as long as you can. Despite successes and setbacks, Cynthia explains that the crescendo mentality gives you the perspective to keep growing, learning, and contributing, because you still have important things to give. She shares stories of triumph and courage and kindness. And she encourages all of us to continue to live in Crescendo. You can find the book, Live Life in Crescendo - Your Most Important Work is Always Ahead of You, at most bookstores. Episode Takeaways: 1. Life is a mission, not a career 2. Let someone know they are worthwhile, show them that you see their potential. 3. "The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away." ~ Pablo Picasso 4. Your most important work is always ahead of you. Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop – You can email Cynthia at cynthiahaller1@aol.com. You can also find her on LinkedIn and Instagram @cynthiacoveyhaller

Celebrate aging. We rarely take the time to celebrate aging, because we have been sold the idea that aging is something to be avoided and not celebrated. There is a profit motive behind shaming us and telling us how to look, how to feel, how to think, so that we will buy anti-aging products. These messages reinforce our own internal biases about aging. Janine Vanderburg leads Changing the Narrative where she works on changing the stories we tell ourselves, changing the stories about older workers in the workplace, and changing the stories about older adults in health care environments. We also talked about the gorgeous age positive birthday cards available at Changing the Narrative. Why send your friends degrading cards, when you can share these beautiful, uplifting cards with them? Episode Takeaways: 1. Announced a new contest to create humorous and clever anti-aging birthday cards. 2. We can educate ourselves about aging. 3. We can all take small steps every day to raise our awareness and advocate against ageism. 4. When we address ageism we are addressing it for generations to come. Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop – You can find Janine at janine@encoreroadmap.com  - Changing The Narrative website 

Gramps Jeffrey was in isolation with his wife, children and 6 children during Covid and he had an opportunity to observe the kids up close. From that experience he wrote a book called, "I Don't Want to Turn 3." It tells the story of a tough lesson learned and the resolution shared with the whole family. In our discussion we talked about how parenting today has changed from how we were parented and how we parented our own children. Gramps shared some cute family examples in the telling of his stories. As grandparents, he advised that we watch out for the tendency to give unsolicited advise use manipulation to try to get what we want undermine the parent's authority What we can do as grandparents, particularly with our younger grandchildren, is find time to read with them. Sharing books builds a closeness between grandparents and the grandchildren. We can ask questions and help them learn to think. We communicate with them while we read to them, and model listening skills. And if you are a long-distance grandparent, he shared a cute idea for an activity you can do to create connection with your grandchildren. Episode Takeaways: 1. As grandparents we can help to teach children how to think 2. He suggested one question you could ask every day, "what did you do today that was nice to someone?" 3. When you love, you will teach others to love. Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop - to subscribe to the Hey, Boomer email list go to bit.ly/heyboomer-subscribe  - to support the Hey, Boomer Walk to End Alzheimer's team go to act.alz.org/goto/HeyBoomer  – You can find Gramps Jeffrey at grampsjeffrey.com or at heyboomer.org 

Margit Novack is such a generous guest and she openly and honestly shared her wisdom and experience around the experience of moving as an older adult. Topics covered include: Impact of individual perception of aging Intentionality of self-care Navigating downsizing your home. The hardest move is from the family home. Honestly looking at reasons why moving an older parent into senior living is good for you and good for your parent. Much of Margit's message was about letting the older person feel like they have some control and giving them respect. Episode Takeaways: In addition to all the other thoughts Margit left us with. Here are her take-aways 1. Be present, be grateful 2. Be intentional, take responsibility for the quality of your life. Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop – You can find Margit at margitnovack.com - To subscribe to the Hey, Boomer email list go to bit.ly/heyboomer-subscribe

Melanie C. Gordon spoke about the Reverend Desmond Tutu describing Ubuntu as "my humanity is bound up in your humanity." That is the foundation of what we talked about in this episode. Melanie leads groups in Ubuntu Circles where we learn to connect through our personal stories. When we are open to hearing someone else's story for understanding, we are transformed. It creates a sense of belonging, a shared humanity. She talked about her time in Rwanda after the genocide, and the filming of the interviews she made there while trying to understand the slow Christian response to the geneocide. She even found Ubuntu here. I was curious about how Ubuntu is accepted in Western cultures where the focus is more on individualism. In the Ubuntu circles people learn to listen for the individuality of each person, what makes them unique. Episode Takeaways: 1. Try to find joy and purpose in your life, everyday 2. Grow in compassion for others Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop – You can find Melanie on Instagram at @dolovewalkcollective - Her website is dolovewalk.co - email her at melcgordon@dolovewalk.co - register for the Hey, Boomer Ubuntu Circle - Recommended book: Everyday Ubuntu by Mungi Ngomane

That is a radical statement! Being well is something we all want. We follow the latest diet trends. We take the recommended supplements. We become "fat phobic," telling ourselves we are not "good enough" if we are overweight. Debra Benfield, founder and owner of Body in Mind Nutrition, told me that there is an ageist diet/wellness culture that leads to a lack of body respect in the Pro-Aging movement. Deb wants to blaze a path into elderhood without the scales! Topics covered: Internal biases around eating, diet, weight and fitness, specifically focused on women over 50 We have learned that in order to be loved, be worthy or be of value, we must be thin, This belief leads to disordered eating, feeling badly about ourselves.  Intuitive eating - eat when you are hungry, stop when you are full. Stay out of your head, stop counting calories, stop tracking,  We can feel overwhelmed by so many different diets and even may have forgotten how to eat a healthy diet. Research shows that it is not obesity that causes heart disease, diabetes or other diseases, it is actually the behaviors or genetics or trauma. You can be fat and fit.  Being thin does not equal healthy. Episode Takeaways: 1. Wrap your head around the idea that all bodies are worthy 2. These suggestions can help you age with vitality and protect you from disordered eating Move your body so it feels like play Be socially connected Manage your stress Use intuitive eating Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram How to reach us You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz Join the Hey, Boomer Walk to End Alzheimer's Team at act.alz.org/go/HeyBoomer  – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop – You can find Debra Benfield at debrabenfield.com  - On Instagram at @agingbodyliberation - or email her at deb@debrabenfield.com Books mentioned in the show The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach How to Raise an Intuitive Eater: Raising the Next Generation with Food and Body Confidence Show transcript Toxicity of the Wellness Culture.m4a Hello. Welcome to the Hey Boomer Show, which is live each Monday on Facebook, LinkedIn and YouTube and then available the next day on your favorite podcast app. My name is Wendy Green and I am your host for Hey Boomer. And Hey, Boomer is for those of us who believe we are never too old to set another goal or dream, a new dream. It is for lifelong learners who have found meaning and are finding meaning and purpose in their lives and are living their best lives into this new chapter. We at hey boomer are on a push to grow our hey boomer Walk to end Alzheimer's team and what I would like to do is welcome our newest walk member, Kathy McAfee. She joined our Greenville, South Carolina, team. We also have Melanie Whitlock, who is out in Clearlake, California. And you can join her team, her hey, boomer team or Bernadette Wagner. She's having a team out in Hagerstown, Maryland. Everybody who joins the team is going to get a cute, hey, boomer hat that you can wear for the walk and you can wear afterwards with great pride because you are a boomer. So join our team, any of these teams by going to act.ALZ.org/goto/HeyBoomer and if you don't want to walk with us or you feel like you can't, you can still go ahead and contribute so that we can find a cure and end this disease and meanwhile help people that are still going through the disease. I also wanted to mention the What's Next Group Coaching program. This program helps answer the question Who am I now? Who do I want to be? Will I ever feel useful and productive in society again? And what is my value to my family, my community, my society now that I am no longer fully employed or following my career path? At the end of the six week program, you will have a six month plan and possibly a 12 month plan, and the next cohort begins on September the 20th. And let me show you how you can reach out. You can go to Calendly/heyboomer/20min and we can set up a free 20 minute consultation. Find out where you're at, where you want to be. See if this makes sense to you or you don't have to talk to me if you don't want to. You can just check out the program at HeyBoomer.biz/Coaching and learn all about it. It really can be a program that can move you into your next chapter with great comfort and ease. So let's get to what we're talking about today. And I've been struggling with this topic a little bit, the toxicity of the wellness culture. I mean, I mostly try to eat healthy. I take supplements. I exercise some most of the time. No, probably not as much as I should. And I have to admit, I am a fair weather walker and hiker when it is cold and rainy. I am not the one that's out there, but I do get uncomfortable when the scale says I've gained a few pounds and all of these beliefs about weight and fitness and behaviors. These all are reinforced by my family and by the media. You know, we all hear comments like, oh, she's really put on some weight or, well, wouldn't she be pretty if she just lost some weight? Advertisements and TV shows portray happy, slender people and not so happy larger people. And if they're heavy older people, the images can be even more demeaning. So preparing for this show has shown me how much I've bought into these ideas that fat is bad and skinny is good. Did you know that we as a society spend over $35 billion on diet products annually? It is a lucrative industry. And diet culture is that collective set of social expectations telling us that there's one way to be. And one way to look. And one way to eat. So that we are a better person. And we're a more worthy person if our bodies are in that mold that we all hear about. So today we're going to dissect what it is meant by the wellness culture, how it can be toxic and how it affects us as we age. And I really want you to join in and ask questions, because a lot of this is learning for me, and I'm sure it's learning for you. So feel free to join us. And let me bring on our expert today. Her name is Deborah Benfield. Hi, Deb. Wendy. Hey, everybody. So Deborah invites you to join her on the intersection of pro aging and body liberation on her newest website. DebraBenfield.com. From her experience, she understands how aging creates vulnerability to the ageist, diet, wellness, culture, and how frustrating it is to find a profound lack of body respect in the pro aging movement. And I had to check with her on that quote because I was like, Wait, pro, aging? Aren't we, like all about accepting where we are? Well, you're going to hear about some of how it's not accepting. Deb is a registered dietitian nutritionist with over 35 years of experience in that field. She's also a registered yoga teacher. She is the founder and owner of Body and Mind Nutrition, a group practice of registered dietitians and nutritionists. And like I said, the founder of her newest site, which is more focused on the aging, she'll tell us more about that. Deborah Benfield She's passionate about preventing and treating disordered eating and eating disorders and supporting you in feeling more comfortable and confident in your relationship with food, eating and your body. So, Deb. Tell me how you got into this field in the first place and then kind of what your journey has been to move more into the aging space. Well, I first want to thank you. I really appreciate your openness to this conversation, because I know it's kind of tricky and surprising to think about how the pro aging movement may have some problems with how we look at bodies. And I think that may be more true for women's bodies. I also want to say that my pronouns are she, her, hers. And I want to talk just a minute about my vocabulary. I you'll hear me say obesity right now as a word that I will not be saying any further. I believe that the way we talk about bodies further stigmatizes pathologizing as bodies that are fat and fat, in my worldview is a descriptor just like you have red hair. Wendy I believe that it's just a descriptor of who you are. I have brown eyes, so it's a description of me. So fat in my worldview is not pejorative. It's a description. So you'll hear me say a fat and not the ugly words. And I'll talk a lot more about that later, too. So I got into this because I really like talking to people as whole human beings. So when I started my career, I pretty quickly started referring clients to therapists to talk about issues outside of what was going on in their eating and their relationship with their bodies. And I happened to develop a relationship with a therapist. That was amazing. Her name is Joan Wilkins, and she was my supervisor, and her specialty was eating disorders. So I, very early in my career, started developing this curiosity and interest in learning more. And it's just kind of become what I do. And I'm very passionate about the work. It's very rewarding to watch and work with a woman who starts to become more powerful in her life and doesn't kind of give her power away by wanting to shrink herself. So I hope that's all well. And so, you know, we talked about the early time we're getting into the eating disorders, but now you're moving into how it's affecting us as we age. So what brought your interest there? Well, I will be 64 in December. And when I turned 60, I also became a grandmother for the first time. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. So something happened in my head where I just wanted to do more research on what we know to be true about how to support aging with vitality and being who I am and understanding what I understand about diet and wellness culture. I was absolutely shocked by how the anti-aging messages hit me hard and fast that I had to get through what I consider to be a bunch of bullshit. I didn't ask you if I can say those kinds of words on your show. Of course, again, this is an adult show. But it just felt like I had to wade through a lot of things that I knew were not based in science and I knew were very adjust and what I consider to be phobic. So I quickly saw that I had to dig a little deeper and I really couldn't find what I was looking for. So I realized that I had to I wanted to create what I think people are needing, what I needed to start with. And it's been it's been fascinating to me to really look at how you can support aging with vitality without getting pulled into all of the you must lose weight. Yeah. So I want to talk about those biases and I want to talk about internal biases because those certainly do hold us back. I mean, and we have more control over those than we do some of the external biases we hear from the media. So in my world, I talk about living an engaged, meaningful life and getting over that internal bias of I'm too old, I don't have the energy anymore. I don't learn as quickly. And shifting that message. In your world, it's more about eating and diet and weight and fitness. And so what are some of the messages that you hear that are internal biases and how do we address those? Yeah, I think that it's I really love that we're kind of focused on a particular group of people right now because coming of age, when we all came of age, I went back and looked at the timeline of how women's bodies were portrayed in the media. The forties and fifties, women's curvy and voluptuous bodies were heralded as the ideal, the beauty ideal. And as a matter of fact, there are there is evidence of, like ads for weight gain products. Really? Yes. I'll show you. There are like you can't be too skinny in the forties and fifties. That's not appealing. Now, of course, all of this marketed to women. Right. And then guess what happened in the sixties? Twiggy, twiggy. Twiggy entered our lexicon and the diet industry took hold and just blew up. And women quickly believed they had to be like Twiggy and which, in my opinion, is unachievable and ridiculously thin and likely fragile. And if you pursue that kind of ideal, you have to diet. I mean, that's what happened is the women believed that in order to be beautiful, in order to be valued, in order to have worth, they must diet. So I don't know if you watched Mad Men. I watch some of that, yeah. I think the character Betty Draper is an amazing character to talk about when it comes to this, because that show took place when all of this happened and it's set in that time period. They did a great job of showing what happened, especially with women in that time. And she joined Weight Watchers and that was the classic choice. And they show her in several shows going back into the kitchen and sneaking her food and actually bingeing the foods that she was deprived of. So it's really interesting to look at how in the sixties. The dive industry took hold because women felt to be worthy, to be loved, to be valued, they must be thin. And I really feel like that's where it really shifted in a in a big way. And also what you're describing about the money that was to be made based on that. And there are a lot of people that believe that it's not surprising that that's also when the women's movement was taking place and that perhaps there was kind of this interesting way to get women to be disempowered. If they're really focused on dieting, they won't have as much of a voice. They will have as much power. So Naomi Wolf's book, The Beauty Myth, is a wonderful book to read if you want to dig into that concept. Interesting. She's not the only one that believes that, but that book is very powerful. And what's interesting, Deborah, is that if that started in the sixties, here we are. What. 60 years later and it's still going on. I mean, you know, I can look in my in my cabinet, you know, I have the whole body diet. I have, you know, diet for a small planet. I have South Beach diet. I have like all these books because I'm like, oh, gosh, you know, I've got to lose a little weight. And every trend changes. You know, it's like, Whoa, och, don't eat carbs. Well, now you should eat carbs. Don't eat fruit. Well, now you should eat fruit. You know, it's like count calories don't count calories. And it's so confusing and no wonder it creates disordered eating. I don't know about eating disorders, so maybe you can differentiate that for me because I don't understand that. Yeah, we're definitely going to talk about that. I don't know if you want to jump into that now, but I think we're we need to talk. I know it's way outside the scope of the show to get to details about eating disorders, but I think it is helpful to look at what is normal and what is disordered and what is an actual diagnosable eating disorder. Yeah. Do you want to do that now? Well, first of all, Angela says, what was the name of that book you mentioned? It is titled The Beauty Myth. The Beauty Myth. And the author is Naomi Woolf was written quite a while ago, but it's exceptional when it when you look into the principle that we're talking about. So yeah, we can go one of two ways. Why don't you describe the difference right now? And then we'll talk a little bit more about the dieting and intuitive eating. How about that? Okay. So perhaps I feel that eating occurs on a continuum and most of us kind of travel up and down that continuum, hopefully not too far toward disordered eating, but normal eating is. Easy. Normal eating is messy. It's eating when you're hungry. When your body says it's time to eat. And stopping. When you're full and. Even a variety of foods that satisfy you. So that you can actually notice when you're satisfied and full. It is not being in your head, counting and calculating and tracking at all. It is only listening to your body and therefore not struggling with feeling guilty or even ashamed of what you're doing. So there's no reaction in your emotional life and there's no space taken up in your head. You're very simply easily eating when you're hungry. Stop it when you're satisfied. And disordered. Disordered eating is likely getting much more in your head with it. And much more rule based, much more tracking, and therefore more reaction. More in your head following rules, and therefore feeling like you're being bad if you've eaten something that you've decided is bad. And eating disorders are. We have many we have anorexia nervosa. We have bulimia nervosa. We have binge eating disorder. We have arfid, which is a new diagnosis, relatively new ARFID stands for If I Get All This right, avoidant restrictive food intake disorder. And it's really about having a negative experience like choking or vomiting, that's created an anxiety about eating or a sensory issue where there are many foods that you feel like you can't eat, that you can only eat a shorter list of foods. And there's also something called Orlistat, which is basically a group of disorders that don't fit into any other boxes. So it's like a catchall phrase, but there is a disorder to the point of some debilitation in your lifestyle, so we can break each of these down. There's a lot to talk about with you. I know this is where I get hung up, because when you describe normal eating, just eat what you want, when you want until you're full. I mean, I think I had mentioned this to you once, you know, like if I had a plate of chocolate chip cookies here, which is my go to dessert and I have a refrigerator with carrots, celery and lettuce, I'm going for the chocolate chip cookies every time. You know, it tastes good. It's easier than putting together a salad. How is that normal eating? Of course, I'm probably going to beat myself up about it and say, Why did you do that? You know that's not good for you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I do want to say you mentioned before that, you know, there was this diet and that diet and sometimes they contradict each other. I do want to say that. Probably every single client that I work with comes to me with that particular feeling of overwhelm by all the different kinds of diets that have they've heard about feeling kind of lost and like, Which way do I go? Because they're so contradictory. Also really noticing that they feel kind of like they have forgotten how to eat. Like, actually, like I forgot eat. I've lost my way because of all the diets that they've been on. And they may not have a full blown eating disorder, but they are feeling all of those things. They're trying to find their way back. So the way that we find your way back is by trying to get out of your heads and starting to realize that your body carries innate wisdom that your body actually knows. When you need to be nourished and what even what foods would nourish you and when you've got enough. Now there's a look on your face that is to look at people's faces. It's like, I can't believe that could possibly be true. But if you think about if you've been around a baby, you know that a baby cries a very distinct I'm hungry cry. It's very distinct. And babies pull away when they've had enough, when they're satisfied. We know that if children are allowed to eat with the structure of family meals, with some security around the fact that there will be food and those variety provided without a lot of food rules, without a lot of judgment, without pressure, that over time they will eat a variety of foods and their bodies will go where their bodies are genetically dictated to go. And sadly, nobody really allows that to happen. I think it's more and more true because parents are being taught that this is the way to sorry, actually raise competent eaters to prevent children from getting eating disorders. Because eating disorders are very much on the increase right now, and we're all born with that capacity. It's the culture, the cultural messages, the diets, the millions, billions of dollars that market, those diets that make us no longer trust ourselves. Yeah, I think you're right about parents today. I know when I was raising my kids again, I went through all these different diets, tofu and vegetarian, and then know we're having roast beef and whatever. And, you know, my daughter and this is where. You know, was it because I was putting the pressure on or not? But I mean, she didn't want to eat what I was cooking. And I was like, this is healthy food. You need. To be eating. This. And she does not do that to her kids. And I mean, and we got into some battles over food, you know, which is unfortunate. And Martha makes the point that even when we were young moms, I mean, we had our babies on a schedule, you know, every 3 hours you need to eat at. And so we were raised with that belief that there is a right way and a wrong way to eat. How do we undo that? Well, you know, boy, I don't even know which way to go with this. There's of talk about when I was a mom. Young mom. I was well, I was already a dietician, so I was reading certain things. And the reading that I was I mean, there were folks that were telling young moms to follow the baby. Baby led weaning there. There was that phenomenon that we should say up away. And I don't know if you want to get into all this, but Ellen Satter is the woman's name who wrote all of those books. Those books were available in the eighties and they're still available. There's also a new book called Intuitive Eating for Kids. So it's like parenting with intuitive eating. So this can be prevented or we can develop a little bit more resilience in our children when they hit all the diet messages, when they get to school or when they go to grandmother's house. Because I think that's what you're describing. I don't know. I've heard so many clients talk about that rub in the family around what people say to the children about how they're eating. If you if you think as the grandmother that there are certain rules or that you have concerns about the size of your grandchildren's bodies, you know, you can get all into like, well, should you really do you really need that or like, don't you? Should you eat your vegetables before you get your cookies? All the things you clean your plate or not clean your plate, all those things are not helpful. The children actually can be trusted to feed themselves well if we stay out away again. Very hard for people to believe. But the more you follow this intuitive eating way of feeding yourself and your family, the more you'll prevent disordered eating and eating disorders. So that's why I'm talking about it. And we haven't gotten into aging bodies yet. That's a whole nother. Yeah. And I think I think June raises a good question here. You know, eating because we're hungry or are we eating because we're angry or bored or lonely or tired or. Yeah, so discerning that you can't discern that if you're not slowing down and paying attention if you the principles of intuitive eating. We're way into this really fast. Yeah, let's. Go. The principles of intuitive eating. Start with ditching diet mentality. You have to get rid of the good bad list in your head first so that you can. Really listen to your body. If you're still in your head with what? I shouldn't have this or I should have that. It's very hard to get the discernment to give yourself space for this discernment. So to slow down and eat as mindfully as you can. I know we're all really distracted and moving really fast, so it's not that easy to slow down and notice your body. I mean, I'm a yoga teacher, and the reason I'm a yoga teacher is because I think you have to have embodiment practices where you kind of ground yourself like perhaps if you say grace or if you try to have gratitude for the food in front of you to also notice your body. And I do this because this is what I do. I put my hands on my heart and my belly to notice my own body's hunger first. And the principles of intuitive eating are to dismantle diet culture in your head, to notice your hunger sensation, to eat foods that are satisfying. And we can talk more about that so that you can stop when you're full and emotional eating as the question that's in front of us. That's very real. Emotional eating is normal human behavior. Nobody likes to hear that either. Is actually that's very normal. And can you develop some skills that help you manage your emotions in other ways as well so that you have choices like, I know I'm really angry, so I need to like. Go punch the pillows for a walk or call a friend or write in a journal, or just sit and let yourself feel. Let yourself ride the. Wave of anger because it does pass. All right. So that's a lot. That's a lot. Not easy. I mean, you started by saying, yeah, yeah, okay, good. There's a distinction because I'm going to say you started by saying normal eating is simple, but it's not easy to be mindful to slow yourself down, you know, to be out in a group or to feel frustrated and not want to just go grab a chocolate bar or something. So let's talk about aging, right? So, so easy for me to see how the anti aging movement is displaying perfect bodies and get rid of the wrinkles and all of that. And they're trying to sell something just like the diet industry. But talk to me about how the pro aging industry is not respecting the way we look. Well, what I am noticing on social media especially, is a lot of thin white bodies. So. My the person who taught me the most about all of these issues in our culture is Sonya Renee Taylor. She wrote a book called The Body is Not an Apology. The Body Is Not An Apology. And she talks about how we live in a culture that has a body hierarchy, the default body that's at the top that everybody knows without knowing is thin. Young, male, heterosexual, cisgendered, able bodied, white. Probably neuro normative, you know, all of those things, that kind of body people that live with that kind of body have power and easily belong in our culture. If you are. Anything other than that. And you may have one or more things that are not in that description. You're more in the margins, therefore more marginalized. We marginalize people based on their bodies. And the more marginalized you are, the more marginalized your identity is, the more your risk of wanting to be thin. Because the feeling is, well, I can at least be thin if I am a woman, I can at least be fat. Then if I'm old, I can at least be thin. If I am disabled, I can at least be that great black or brown. I'm can be thin because it brings you into feeling like you may belong. You may have more of a sense of power. In our culture. You're not quite as invisible either. Right. So there's increased pressure and increased pressure to be thin as you age. And if you have any other marginalized identity, it's even more so. In fact, I noticed in the most recent AARP magazine talk about they're all about pro aging right there. One of their articles was How to Stay Thin If You're a Chef. It's like I would not even have noticed that, Deb, if I hadn't been talking to you. But, yeah, it's like. There's a lot of pressure. There is a lot of pressure. A lot of there's a lot of pressure. But now I'm going to be devil's advocate. But we hear that if you are overweight, it's hard on your heart. You are at risk for diabetes. It's harder on your joints and it's not healthy. So how do you how do you deal with that image that we have, that belief that we've been told from the medical world and for years, I mean, even with COVID, oh, you're more at risk if you're overweight. You know, I have so many references for what I'm about to say. It's this is not my opinion. This is I try not to say anything. That's my opinion because I am an old fashioned scientist. I really like to read and learn and speak with an expert, you know, kind of. Status and through that lens. So what I'm going to say is I can send you lots of like links to articles and podcasts, etc.. So all of the resource that talks about. I'm going to say that medical term obesity causes hypertension, heart disease, diabetes, even COVID, and not that it caused COVID. We can talk about that in just a minute. But all of that research is correlational. And not causal. We have no causal research that shows that being a certain way causes a disease process. What we have is certain activity patterns, certain particular dietary patterns. Definitely genetics. Definitely stress. There are many things that we actually do have research on that causes those diseases. And people assume people have assumed because of correlation that's correlated, but it's actually the behavior. I have worked with many folks that are fat, that have high levels of fitness, that have perfect labs. I've worked with very thin folks that are not at all fit and have high cholesterol, diabetes, hypertension. You cannot tell by looking at somebody that they're healthy. Being thin does not equal healthy. Losing weight does not equal healthy. As a matter of fact, what we also know is that yo-yoing weight cycling actually does cause hypertension and other aspects of heart disease. So we also know that 95% of people who go on diets regain the weight plus. So dieting is not a solution. So if I understand you right. What you're saying is that. Being fat does not cause. Hypertension does not cause diabetes. It's the lifestyle around that that's causing those illnesses. It's the particular kinds of behaviors. And it may be genetic. It may be stress and anxiety. We also know that trauma having trauma experiences, especially early in life, is related to certain body sizes and diseases. So it's much more complicated than we are, we assume. We make a lot of assumptions that make it very black and white and simplified. And there's a lot of problems with that because then people who are in fat bodies are stigmatized. They especially are stigmatized in the health care setting so that that kind of stress and we also have research that weight stigma is a stressor that can contribute to disease process. So it's such a mess. Because you're afraid to go to the doctor, because you're going to be embarrassed. And it's how you treat it when you do go to the doctor. There's shame. There's fetching, there's body shame that's experienced. That's very legit. So, yeah, it's very, very messy. It's not. I'm afraid in our culture we see it very simply that losing weight is good. Being thinner is good. Certain foods are superfoods and goods, and it's so much more complicated. Then there's also access. Access to food. I think that we actually believe that there is a moral value to food and a moral value to thinness, that people are better people if they're thinner and that certain foods are good. I mean, if you listen to what people say, I'm being sinful. Yeah, I mean, it gets really convoluted pretty quickly. I still need to learn a lot to shift my beliefs and to think that I'm not going to eat those chocolate chip cookies instead of the. Well, something we should talk about with intuitive eating is that there is a psychological phenomenon called habituation. But if you have something that you're deprived of, of course you want to eat it all. That's a normal reaction to deprivation if you have permission to eat the food consistently. Like if you start to bring chocolate chip cookies in and you eat them, you know you can eat them and you know you can have them whenever you're hungry again. You will start to lose interest in the chocolate chip cookies over time. You habituate to cookies and they have less and less and less power over you. Okay. Well, we're getting towards the end here. I mean, we could probably talk for another couple of hours. There's so much to talk about. I know. But give me a couple of takeaways that those of us who are just learning about this for the first time, what we can do to take this into this next chapter of our lives as we are aging. I think the first thing is to wrap your head around the fact that all bodies are worthy. I mean, we can't. White knuckle and control. Our bodies into a particular size and shape. As a matter of fact, the more you try to do that, the more likely you are to get disordered in your eating. And you could you could end up with an eating disorder. And we didn't really get into that very much today. But it's a real problem with midlife and older women because you do feel like you can't control your body. And the more you like knuckle, the more disordered you become. So trying to. Be a little bit more compassionate with yourself and understanding that all bodies are worthy. Number one. Number two, to try to in my research, what I found is the things that really contribute to aging with vitality and protective of getting disordered in your eating are moving your body so that it feels like play. So just like play, you have some joy in it. Trying to be socially connected, trying to actually manage your stress, which I know is easier said than done. And to eat with an intuitive eating mindset. All of that is protective and supports vital aging. So that's enough take aways. Yeah. Thanks. I'm going to learn more about this intuitive eating because I certainly. It can do the good, bad thing. So if you want to reach out to Deborah, you can email her at Deb at Deborah Benfield. Benfield. You can find her on Instagram at Aging Body Liberation. And check out her new website. In fact, Deb, you have some kind of coaching program that's getting ready to start. Quickly, tell us about that. I'm doing what I've been talking about today. I'm doing intuitive eating through the lens of pro aging. Yeah. It's a it's a. A group coaching cohort that begins the end of September. Okay. All right. I'm sure. We could all. Use some help on understanding that. So her website is Debra. DebraBenfield,Com Thanks. Thank you. Yeah. And let me remind people about our walk to end Alzheimer's. Please join our team at actor ALS dot org slash go to slash. Hey Boomer and check out also at the end of September, September 20th our hey boomer coaching the what's next after your full time career and that's it hey boomer dot biz slash coaching. So my guest for next week. Her name is Melanie Gordon and she's the founder of Do.Love.Walk Collective. And one of the programs Melanie offers through the collective are Ubuntu circles. And I wrote a blog about Ubuntu probably a year ago and it's just fascinates me. So in the Ubuntu circles they address empathy, social isolation, belongingness, compassion and reconciliation. And the groups gather for a weekend retreat or eight weekly sessions or extended experiences. So join me next week to learn more about Melanie Gordon and Ubuntu circles. And I'd like to leave you all with the belief that we can live with passion, live with relevance and live with courage. And remember, we are never too old to set another. Goal.Or dream. A new dream. My name is Wendy Green, and this has been. Hey, Boomer.

The "Great Unknown" in this episode is the question, "what am I going to do now, after my career just ended?" Minette Norman had a 30 year career in the IT industry, for the past 20 years with the same company and the last 5 as a VP. Leadership changed, and as often happens when leadership changes, she was now an outsider of the new leadership group. The environment became very uncomfortable until she finally decided it was time to leave. Now what? Friends had ideas. She had the belief that she was not entreprenuerial, and after much soul-searching, she stepped into the fear and started her own leadership consulting practice. We talk about rebuilding confidence after a job loss. We talk about the importance of continuous learning. We talk about her new book, The Psychological Safety Playbook, that will come out in February of 2023. And we talked about asking yourself, "Can I give that a Whole Body Yes?" Episode Takeaways: 1. We are not done yet, unless we want to be. We still have so much to give. 2. Never stop learning! 3. Be open to new experiences 4. Embrace "what if..." Treat everything as an experiment. Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop – You can email Minette at minette@minettenorman.com or connect wiht her on her website at minettenorman.com  Transcript Welcome to the Hey Boomer Show. My name is Wendy Green and I am your host for Hey Boomer. And we go live every Monday at 1:00 Eastern Time on Facebook, LinkedIn and YouTube. Hey, Boomer is a show for people who believe that we are never too old to set another goal or dream, a new dream. It is for lifelong learners who are finding meaning and purpose in their lives and living their best life at this next stage of life. The push is on for the Hey Boomer Walk to End Alzheimer's and I want to thank my Walk to End Alzheimer's team. Prudence Taylor, David Bell Ann Golden, Doris McLallen are on the team in Greenville, South Carolina. Melanie Whitlock is building a team in California and Bernadette Wagner is building a team in Maryland. So we are all in the fight to end Alzheimer's. And anybody who joins our team is going to get a cute, Hey, Boomer hat that you can wear for the walk and then you can wear proudly afterwards. To join our team or to make a donation, If you don't feel like you can walk with us. You would go to act.alz.org/HeyBoomer. So help us walk to end Alzheimer's. I also wanted to mention the What's Next group coaching program. This program helps answer the question Who am I now? Who do I want to be? And how am I going to feel useful and relevant again? It's a six week group coaching program. At the end of six weeks, you're going to have a six month plan. And if you're really motivated, you might even have a one year plan to get yourself moving in the direction that's going to feel good to you. That's going to feel like you are on the right path to your next act. You can set up a 20 minute free consultation with me using this calendar link. It's calendly.com /heyboomer/20min, it's 20 minutes that could change your life. And if you want to check out the website first, you can just go to heyboomer.biz/coaching. Today, you know, we're going to talk about stepping off into the great unknown. And I thought it would be good to give you a little background for myself. In February of 2009, my beloved father passed away. Within two years my second marriage ended. I moved out of my beautiful home. I sold my business for a loss. And I found myself sitting in a group program about being grateful. And at the time, I was struggling to figure out what I was grateful for. I was depressed. I felt depleted. My heart was closed. I just didn't know what I was good at anymore or what made me happy. I rejoined the corporate world. And then in 2017, I got laid off because of a corporate merger. Took another job. And then in March of 2020, the pandemic shut down the place I was working, and there I was again. What was I going to do? But this time I decided I was going to start a show that was going to inspire people and help all of us through that time. So I started, Hey Boomer, in April of 2020, and it wasn't long after I started, Hey Boomer, that I experienced this amazing sense of freedom. And it came over me that I could say what I wanted to say. I could be authentic. It was my show. And if people didn't want to listen to what we were talking about on the show, they could turn it off. But it was finally an opportunity to really be authentically myself. And it felt great. And I think that is what stepping off into the great unknown will do for you when you find that passion. It can be very unsettling. It can be terrifying, but if it matches your passion and as you settle into it, you will begin to feel that sense of freedom also. And that is what we're going to talk about today. I am going to bring Minette on because I'm super excited about this conversation. Hi, Minette. Hello, Wendy. So glad you could join us today. Thanks for inviting me. Yeah. Let me do a quick overview of your background and then we'll get into more detail. So Minette spent decades in leadership roles in the software industry. Her last role before leaving the company was as vice president of engineering practices at Autodesk. She began her consulting practice, Minette Norman Consulting LLC in the spring of 2020. Her passion is to develop transformational leaders who create inclusive working environments with a foundation of psychological safety. Minette was named in 2017 as one of the most influential women in the Bay Area business by the San Francisco Business Times and as business role model of the year in 2018 by the Women in Silicon Valley Awards. And she is a recognized leader with a unique perspective. Minette is also the co-author of a book about psychological safety for leaders. The Psychological Safety Playbook: Lead More Powerfully by Being Human, which will be published in February of 2023. Oh, boy. And she's also finishing up another book on inclusive leadership. So you've been busy since you left your corporate job? Yes, I have. Absolutely. Well, let's start there. Like, why did you decide after 20 or 30 years in the industry that you were going to step out? You know, that question could be the whole podcast that we're doing today. It's a really long, it could be a really long answer. So I'm going to try to try to give you a succinct answer to that question. But maybe I'll start by saying I had this amazing career. I spent three decades in the software industry. I didn't expect when I started in 1989 as a technical writer at Adobe that I would end up 25 years later as a VP. I just never considered that. But I did. I had this amazing run. And I guess the short answer is that I had a fabulous career that ended really badly, and the way it ended badly was it was kind of insidious. I didn't quite see what was happening, but with hindsight I can see it very clearly. There I was in this VP role. I was appointed by an SVP who was kind of my sponsor. And when he left the company, that was really the beginning of the end. But I didn't see it so clearly at the time. I got a new boss who was a former peer and he was the peer I got along the least well with, of course, and suddenly he was my boss. And then after I think maybe a year, he brought in a new VP. And so basically the new VP was my boss. I was moved down a rung. And then what happened? This was really the unraveling was this new VP who was my boss. Gradually he did a big reorg and almost all of my responsibilities were taken away. And I had this I had had a very large, very impactful role that really was a wonderful role. And I loved it. I worked with like 3500 people around the globe. I had a big staff, I had big responsibilities, and those were taken away. And at the same time, what I didn't see and that I can see so well now is that basically they were just they were trying to get me to leave because I was now, you know, when the leadership change, they no longer really needed my services, but they didn't say that explicitly. And instead I got some really unpleasant things happen in that I won't talk about because I've signed one of those non-disparagement agreements, so I just am not going to say what actually happened, but it resulted in me leaving and I didn't plan on leaving when I did, but I did. So there I was in 2019, late 2019, and didn't have a plan. Yeah, and that is so common when leadership changes that everything gets shook up and they don't want you. So you didn't have a plan. And, you know, one of the things that we've talked about before we are doing the show live was so how did you feel? What did you do? What do you mean? That's pretty scary. Yeah, I really I didn't have a plan. So, you know, it's kind of interesting when you leave under those conditions, you're always leaving to pursue new opportunities. That's sort of the verbiage. You know, Minette is leaving to pursue new opportunities. And one of the things that was in my mind had been sort of planted by a good friend of mine. And we were attending a nonprofit gala event and we were sitting at a table and he said to me, You know, Minette, you'd be a really good executive director for a nonprofit. And, you know, he's a good friend who's known me for a long, long time. And I thought, what a great idea. And so I started looking around and I got really far into an interview process with a local nonprofit that was looking for a new ED. And it's very good that they ended up picking someone else. And the process took a really long time because midway through it I realized this is not what I want. You know, this was sort of like someone else's idea of what I should be doing, but it wasn't what I really wanted. And I knew this because I'd been on a nonprofit board for several years, and I know what the ED goes through and how hard it is to work with a board and all of that. And I thought, No, I don't want to do that. So that idea sort of faded away. And then, then I was back to Now what? Now what? And one of the things yeah, one of the things that I really knew, like in that last job that I had for five years, I had been, you know, my on paper description was to transform engineering practices across the company and really modernize how we develop software. But what I was actually doing was changing the culture and changing how people interacted. And really I was doing a lot of work on diversity, equity and inclusion and trying to have more inclusive leadership. And in my mind, that's really what was important to me. And I was spending more and more energy on that even when I was in the job. So as I was doing some soul searching about what I might do next, I thought, well, well, maybe I can do that work working for somebody else, right? So whether it's another company or another. Consulting firm. I definitely never thought I'm going to start my own business because, you know, there was part of the self talk that we do. I said to myself, I am not entrepreneurial because I've always worked for somebody else for my entire career. So, you know, the words we say matter. I'm not entrepreneurial. I believed that. And so then I was introduced to another woman who was starting a consulting firm, and she wanted to hire a group of women. She was very deliberate about hiring a group of women who would be leadership consultants and that we would help build better workplaces. And so I thought, well, this is perfect. I don't have to start my own thing. I can go work with her. And so I actually spent a few months meeting with her and meeting with the small team she had assembled, and I was ready to sign on. And then she offered me an agreement. It was a legal agreement of how we would partner. And as I'm reading the fine print, I see that it says that she and her firm would own all perpetual rights to anything I created, whether it was a workshop, a talk, written materials, blog posts, whatever. And honestly, one day that was the aha moment for me where I realized, okay, this is what I have. My intellectual property is really all I have. And people are interested in hiring me because of this experience and knowledge. And I can't give that away. I absolutely cannot give that to anyone. I have to own that. And so I realized, okay, if you want to own it and you want to make the decisions yourself, that means you're going to have to start your own thing. And so that's what I did. There's so much in what you just said. Minette So when did you actually leave the company? I left Autodesk in August of 2019, 2019. So it took you a little over a year to kind of figure out what you were going to do next and go through that journey. It was actually about it was about six months, I guess, because it was like August. And then by kind of the same time you were starting this podcast, I had decided to launch my business. So that's like what, six, seven months? And of course, both of us doing this right at the beginning of a pandemic. The pandemic. Right. That's what we do. Yeah. So you talked about some of the self-talk, you know, like, oh, I'm not an entrepreneur or, you know, or I mean, I think our self-talk can definitely get in our way. And how did you manage to shift that to Oh, well, I could be an entrepreneur and I am an entrepreneur. You know, that's a I don't have, an easy answer to that because I think it was all a very gradual process. Part of it was getting over the fact that my self confidence was so shaken I had to. So when I left when I left Autodesk, I really felt very damaged because I felt like I thought I had a bunch of credibility and that manager that I had made me doubt that. And so I had to really kind of rebuild my my strength and my my belief in myself. And part of that for me is always talking to people that know me like I have I have really good close friends, but I also have a network of trusted ex-colleagues and friends I've made through work and really just talking to them about like what really went down. Am I seeing this clearly? I also I will tell you a little sort of a funny story that when I left Autodesk, because I'd been there 20 years, I knew a lot of people I'd I'd had a very big platform those last five years. So many people had heard me speak or knew me. And I got all these emails as you do when you leave a company you've had a long time. So before I left, I get I had I mean, there were well over maybe there were 100 or 200 emails and I'm like, I can't I don't want to forward all these to my personal account. So what I did is I went through them and I actually copied and pasted some of them, the ones that were like the most meaningful to me. And I put them into one document. So I had this sort of encouragement document of like people who said, you made such an impact, you were really a role model, whatever it was. And I, I went back to that document, however corny that sounds, I would sometimes read the comments in there just to realize that like, okay, you didn't imagine that you, you, you were a good leader and you really did have a positive impact on many people's lives and careers. And so kind of just gradually rebuilding my confidence, I would say, took several months and I was kind of a wreck when I walked out of there. And by the beginning of of 2020, I was starting to feel better. I remember it was just before the pandemic shut down. I did a speaking engagement in San Francisco, and that went really well. And then someone I knew from Salesforce invited me to come in and do a workshop, and it was a leadership offsite. And I did a workshop and it was completely in my wheelhouse and in my comfort zone. And it was. Was great. It went really well. And that gave me that confidence of like, okay, you've just had two wonderful experiences. People wanted you to come in, they appreciated what you had to share. And I was very energized by that. And that that experience was like, okay, well, there's something here. Let me explore what that was and what that is and what that might be. And the first thing I did, because I'd been in tech for so long as well, let's, let's just build a website not knowing what I was getting into. But I thought, well, if I have a website, I have a business. And so I built my first website which I have since turned over to an expert. But at the time that was like, let me do something tangible. And that just sort of got me going. And the other thing that's funny about that, though, because of the timing is I had a website, I had announced my business and every budget was shut down because of the pandemic. So that's right. Right. Everyone I reached out to was like, Oh yeah, we'd love to bring you in, but all of our budgets are frozen. So in a way that was kind of good because it gave me that 2020 period to figure out what is my offering going to be, what is my sort of, as they say, the value proposition that I uniquely can provide. And I took I took a class that was being offered by someone who has his own leadership consulting practice, and he's really successful. How how? Adler And I took this class with him, and he gave us very practical tips for like, how do you run a leadership consulting business? And that was so helpful to like even just practical things like how do you do proposals, how do you do invoicing, how do you do marketing, etc.? So that kind of built my confidence. And then going into the end of 2020 and into 2021, I got my first client and then, you know, it starts to go from there. Yeah, no. And I appreciate your vulnerability about that because, you know, I felt the same way when I got let go in 2017. I was building a training department, I'd built their online university, I was enjoying my job, and then it just went away. And it does rock your world. It does shake your confidence. And it's so funny that you said about your list of positive comments that you got because I did the same thing with you. I did. I did the same thing. And, you know, every once in a while, I, I still will go back and look at things that people have written to me or that I've written to to recenter myself. Because I think as human beings, we sometimes do get off center. And I think fear is a big thing that gets in the way of people. And I was just curious about, you know. Of like fear. There's an acronym. Fear is false evidence appearing real. Right. So we we look out and we go, oh, people are never going to buy our product or they're never going to sign up for what I'm doing. And then you have to step into it. Right. And so some of what you did was, like you said, you took a class. You talk to people. You know, I think part of what people have to realize, we're not alone. Right. So how how are you working that network now and still stepping into that courage that you have to continue to have as a solopreneur? You do. You do. Because I honestly especially because I still feel I'm very new to this this consulting world is that each new engagement, each new potential client, each new introduction is like, okay, can I do this one? Like I did the last one that gave me a little bit of a confidence. But can I can I do this engagement? Is this so? I remind myself, I often remind myself of what I've done before that has worked and that was good and and also what went badly. I haven't had any absolute disasters in my consulting so far, but there are definitely things that didn't go as well as I wanted or things that I would do differently. So just that continuous, like what? What went well, what can I repeat? What can I learn from? What can I do differently? But I also I really I'm a very social person. And so being a solopreneur wouldn't work for me unless I did have this really supportive network. And so I talk to people a lot and I bounce ideas off of people and I'll talk. I know we're going to talk a little bit about the book that's coming out, but I now have this fabulous colleague in Germany who's my co-author on this book that I wrote, and she's also a leadership consultant. And so she's someone when I'm working on something, I bounce a lot of ideas off of like, how would you do this? How have you done this? And just having someone to talk to when you're in business for yourself is really helpful. And I have others as well. And, and even how this person, his company is called Leadership Landing. And I remember like I had gotten a potential client soon after I took his class and I had no idea how to price something. Right. Pricing is actually really hard, especially when you've worked inside. Like I remember when I used to hire consultants when I was a VP and we'd pay him $25,000 for a one day thing, you know? And then when I was out on my own, I'm like, How could I possibly charge that kind of money? Right? So I had no idea how to price my offering. So I actually remember shooting at Hal a text and like I have a proposal to write. How would you even think about pricing this? So having a group of trusted people in the somewhat the same space has been really helpful and has given me confidence. And I remember when I, when I did my first engagement and it was someone who I had worked with at Autodesk and she brought me into another company she was working with. And I totally underpriced. I completely underpriced when I realized how much time I would have to spend on it. And that's that's okay. That's a learning experience. Like, okay, now I need to charge more next time. Yeah, yeah. None of it's fatal, but it's just like you learn as you go and you keep iterating. It is a learning experience. I think that's part of the journey that we're on and that's part of the confidence to right. You start to price yourself a little more as you gain your confidence. Exactly. You realize how good you are. So let's talk about your book, Psychological Safety. And I'm curious what it is. And then I know it's geared to the corporate world, but I'm wondering if there's an application for it as people are moving into this next transition in their lives. Okay. So let me first explain the basic definition of psychological safety, which is and it's not it's not only for the corporate world, it is basically a team phenomenon. So any team, any group you a part of and what it is, is that you have the belief in this group that this is a safe place for you to ask a question, for you to take a risk, make a mistake, and really show up as yourself without fear of embarrassment, humiliation, rejection, ostracism. Right. So that you can in this group, you can challenge someone in the group. You don't have to agree with everybody. That's the basic concept of psychological safety. The research around it, which has one of the biggest researchers in the space, is Amy Edmondson from Harvard, and she's written a book about it called The Fearless Organization. The research has shown that when you're in a psychologically safe environment, you're more innovative because people can share those wild ideas, right? People are not afraid of sharing their ideas because it is a safe place, but also that teams perform better when you have a safe environment and when you don't have it, what happens is that people feel compelled to agree with everyone else. You get this conformity bias because it's not safe to be the one who descends and who says, you know, I have a different viewpoint on this. So that's that's the basic concept. We we decide so how the book came to be. And then I'll talk about your I'll answer your question about your personal and your personal world. So so the how that how the book came to be is I, I hid under under stood the concept back when I was at Autodesk. And in fact I had found Amy Edmondson research. I tried to hire her as a keynote speaker at one point, so I had found her research. Google did a huge study called Project Aristotle that was written about in the New York Times around 2018 or 15. I forget one. So that came out and people started to understand the term beyond academia. So I had understood it, but I had also lived and breathed the absence of it. Right. And I had I had been in and it wasn't just like a toxic environment that I ended up in at the end, but it was. Even being part of a leadership team that was fairly functional. We were really careful, like we were careful with what we said and what we didn't say and we didn't challenge the leader of the group even though he was a good guy, but he didn't invite challenge. You know, he kind of you kind of needed to agree with him. And so it wasn't many of the teams I was a part of were not particularly safe environments. And I remember this feeling of like holding back, being in a meeting and having something I wanted to say and then just holding back and go, God, I don't dare, I don't dare, you know, or and when I did, sometimes, you know, a couple of things would happen. Sometimes people would just ignore you because they didn't want to hear it, and sometimes you'd get an eye roll or just it often wasn't a good situation. So I had definitely been aware of the term, I had experienced it. I had been in rare teams where there was a high level of psychological safety and realized like how powerful that is and how much you can get done when everyone can fully contribute. So I was a real believer in it. And then speaking of classes, so in last year, last spring, I signed up for a class that was based on Amy Edmondson, Zork, and it was to do psychological safety assessments. So basically it was a certification program in her methodology to be able to go into a team and run an assessment on psychological safety. In this class, there were probably about 20 or 25 of us, and we were divided up into smaller groups. And in my smaller group was this woman named Colleen Helbig, who's this leadership consultant in Germany. And she and I just hit it off. And I was on a podcast with another of our students, and she heard it and she emailed me and said, We have to save this email forever because the title of the email said Crazy Idea. And she wrote to me and she said, You know, Minette, I heard you on the podcast and you said, There's not much material that's practical, like how leaders can actually increase the level of psychological safety in their teams. And she goes, I feel that too. And I have this crazy idea. What if you and I wrote a little she wrote pamphlet. The word she used was, What if we wrote a little pamphlet about it? So that was the beginning. And we got on a zoom call and we set up an online whiteboard, or she did, which was great, and we just started brainstorming and we ended up collaborating on a short, deliberately short, but it's not a pamphlet, a full book on how to increase psychological safety. It's called The Psychological Safety Playbook lead more powerfully by being more human, and it's coming out next year. And the idea is that it's really something that you as a manager or a leader in any field could pick up off your shelf, turn to any page because it's got discrete tips in there and and pick up a tip that you might want to try out with your team. And so that's how that all came to be. And we're excited about that. But I do want to answer your question about developing. I think your question was, can we have psychological safety for ourselves? Is that what it was? Yeah. And let me give it a try. Right. Okay. Because listening to what you said and here we are, we've stepped into this great unknown. We're solopreneur as we're trying to build our business. And I would think like I have a board now of advisors, and so I run ideas by them and I feel very safe running my ideas by them. And sometimes they go, Yeah, that's a really great idea. And other times they'll say, Oh, I think you really need to think that. So I think for personally in my own business, I can see psychological safety. In your personal life, there are certainly going to be people that it's not safe to be say things with. That's absolutely right. That yeah, absolutely. I mean, you ideally you want to surround yourself with people with whom you can be real like that you can always be real and that you don't have to hold back. But of course, there are people in your lives where you do, you are cautious and you you choose your words wisely. And that's normal, too. I think one thing is in your personal life is that is maybe not about psychological safety, but it's like, what do we give ourselves permission to do? You know, that's that's more the way I think about it for yourself is. Yeah, yeah. What do what do we let ourselves do and not do? But in terms of our relationships, there's that. Can I. Can I be real with this person? Yeah. And you know what? That makes me think you brought this up earlier too, about the shoulds and the expectations. And I think a lot of the time that we follow those shoulds and those expectations that people have of us, it's because we feel it's safer. You know, it would be so much harder to say to them, oh, that's not really that doesn't really fit me or Yeah, I don't know that that's what I really want to do. It's easier to just say, Well, if that's what you think I should do, okay, I'll go ahead and do that. So I think it plays out there too. And, and having the courage, that was a big thing. Having the courage to say, you know what, it's my time in life now and I don't have to do it. Everyone expects I have to do what I expect, what I feel good about. So, I mean, you've experienced that transition, too, right? Totally. And, you know, I think about you like I'm going to start a podcast, right? Like, did did anyone try to talk you out of that or did you just say, I know I want to do this in my heart of hearts? Sure. A lot of people I mean, a lot of people said to me, how are you going to make money with that? You know, and I wasn't sure at the time, and I'm still developing ways to make money with it. But I knew in my heart minute I knew I had to do this because I knew that there were going to be a lot of people that needed this positive, inspirational, inspiring stories of other people in similar situations. Yeah. And so I just had to do it and, and I just it gave me the strength to say, don't worry about it, I'll figure it out, you know, and it will happen and it will grow. And yeah, it was scary. But it is. It is, you know, it's it's very interesting. I didn't know this term until Caroline introduced me to it. And I think it's from the conscious leadership group. The term you may have heard is can you give it a whole body? Yes. And you heard that term? No, I love that. I do, too. We were talking about Caroline and I were talking about what we might and might not do to promote our book. And she said, like, I don't want to waste time on things that that sap our energy. I want to spend time on things where we can say with our whole body, yes, yes, we want to do this. We're all in on it. Our heart, our mind, our spirit, we all want to do this. And so I really like I ask myself that when I'm hearing the shoulds in my mind, like you should be you should be sending out some emails this week to try to get some more clients. And I'm like, Do I really want to do that? No, I actually want to work on this project. Right, right. And my whole body is saying yes to this and not to doing prospecting emails. Right. That's not what I need to be doing. I want to be doing. So I know and it's not so much that other people are telling me what to do. It's the voices in my own head saying that you should be doing this and doing that. And, you know, we're hard on ourselves. That inner critic is is active all the time. Well, and we've both been leaders and companies. And so when you are used to all the shoulds that things that have to get done, the goals that you have to meet, yeah, you definitely do that to yourself. And I like that whole body. The whole body, yes. Yeah. The book that that's in is is I think I think it's called The Conscious Leader 1515 Tips for the Conscious Leaders from the Conscious Leadership Group. And it's a really good book. Yeah. That's what it comes from. And then I think there's a book, another book called The Whole Body. So anyway, it's it's a known term now, but I'm I'm embracing it, definitely. Yeah, I really like that because it's. Yeah. When you're when you. You know, I make a to do list every week for the whole week and then I do have to prioritize. Know what is it? I guess I look at it two ways. Mannat and tell me if you do something similar. First of all, I look at it and say, what do I want to do? What's going to make me excited? And then what do I need to do to bring in more business? And then the rest of it can kind of go by the wayside and study. I also am studying all the time. Oh, yes, yeah. No. And that's I think that's one of the most important things that I am reading voraciously and listening to podcasts and listening to audiobooks. Because in reading articles, because I feel like, you know, I actually, I, I was going to say imposter syndrome and I hate that term, so I'm just going to leave that one out. But I always feel like there's more to learn and I don't want to feel like I'm stagnating in terms of what I know and what what my body of knowledge. And so I'm I feel like that reading and listening and and informing ourselves is just a constant part of this work. And, and I enjoy that. That's not something I feel like you should be doing. Although there are times when I'm like, I want to read a novel and I should be reading this business book. And so balancing that is an act sometimes, right? It is. So I have my novels by my bedside, my schedule, and I get up early to do some of my early morning. Work type of reading. But you're right. I mean, there's so much to learn. And and and some of it is just reinforcing stuff that we know. That's right. And in fact, I was talking to my sister about this the other day, you know, that we we read something and we learn what we're ready to learn at that moment. And then we go back and look at it another time. Maybe a year later, two years, and you're like, Oh, there's so much more here. You're now ready for more. That is absolutely true. And I have I'm pointing down to my floor here because my shelf is over here. But I have like this stack of business books that I recently ordered that I want to read. And I found one that I had read quite a while ago that I picked up again. And it was like, Oh yeah, I just totally have a different perspective on it. It's so. Interesting, deeper understanding of what what that's. About. Yeah, it's so interesting how that happens. So where are you finding the best places to kind of reach out to the audience that you're looking for? Oh, so the the whole social media question or. Social media in person networking. What are you. Yeah. I have not been doing much in-person stuff yet because of because of COVID. I mean, honestly, just I haven't I've had like two in-person speaking events this year, but the rest has all been virtual. So I've mostly been doing LinkedIn as my primary platform for connecting with people a little bit on Twitter. I use Facebook for personal stuff. And you know, it's really interesting now because the personal and the professional have blurred so much like I know an author that I met who does everything everywhere. So her Facebook is all about promoting her work and I haven't done that. So I mostly LinkedIn for my for my work. But, you know, it's so interesting with this book, these books coming up because the first one is in February and then the inclusive leadership will be out later in 2023. And so building an author platform is a whole thing that I'm just getting started on. And so, you know that that's where my energy is, honestly, right now is like not as much client work as much as trying to build this author platform. Although I have a client engagement with a new client this week. So yeah, it's a it's a mix. And of course everywhere I meet anyone, I'm talking about the book and we have a URL for the book so people can sign up for our mailing list and things like that. But you'll definitely have to let us know when the book comes out. So I. Can. I can promote it to my audience, too. Oh, I will, I will. Yeah. And the social media thing is, you know, I've been taking some classes about promotion and podcasting and growing the audience and and, you know, they say pick two to get really good at. Exactly right. Don't spread yourself across all of the different platforms because they're all different the way. They are all different. So what are your two that you use for the podcast that are your go to ones? Yeah. So I use Facebook because I also have a private group on Facebook for people that are going through this transition to what's next. And so it's a place where we can share ideas and ask questions and that kind of thing. So I really love having that. And then LinkedIn is, you know, there's so many people on LinkedIn that are now in our stage of life. Yeah. And either they've been pushed out or they are thinking about what's next. And so I think LinkedIn is. You know, I think LinkedIn is an interesting place because you have to combine the personal sometimes with the professional so that they get to know you as a person. You know, you and didn't you and I connect because in my viral post about turning 62, that's how we connected, right? Yeah. That's such an interesting story because I had until then been very work focused on LinkedIn. Like when I would post, it was always about my work, those client work or whatever. And for some reason I had turned 62 in June and I had this compulsion to write a post on LinkedIn about anyway, it was personal, but it was also about like ageism in the workplace and, you know, having the freedom to be my own boss and that sort of thing. So I posted that the day after my birthday and it is the first time a post of mine ever went viral. And I had like 1.5 million impressions and 25,000 reactions in 2000 comments and hundreds of shares. And I'm like, What was that? And how am I ever I mean, since then, I haven't had any posts even close to more than 10,000. So yeah. How do you get the 1.5? I would love to get 1.5 million when I start talking more about my book. All the time. And it's my friend Laura that's on this call right now that that pointed me to your post. And. That's right. You know, you've got to connect with her. And of course, the minute we connected, I was so excited and I felt like a kindred spirit. Absolutely. And you know, what was so interesting about that post is how many people reached out to me through private messages. And I ended up having several Zoom calls with people, women who were dealing with the same thing at this stage of their life. Some younger, some a little older. But like, what's next? I've been forced out, you know, trying to reinvent. And there's so many of us. There are so many with so many. Talents and so much energy and so much wisdom and so much to give. And everyone's trying to figure it out. Right? And the ageism is rampant. And it is. And we are not done yet. We are not done yet. Very interesting. Many of the comments were about diversity, equity and inclusion. And several people said, you know, DEI is so popular now and yet no one talks about ageism. When they talk about aspects of diversity, that's the one that seems to be left out. That's right. That's right. So I always like to ask my guests at the end of the interview if they have two or three takeaways. Now, there's been so much we've talked about, so I know it's going to be hard to narrow it down, but do you have a couple of things you'd like to leave with people today? Yeah. I think the first one has to be that you are not done yet no matter who you are and where you are. Like you have so much to give and it's really figuring out what's what's important to you and what is that whole body. Yes. That you want to move forward with and what can you cast aside? And so so you're not done yet unless you want to be. And if you want to be, then embrace what that next phase is. If it's truly retirement and that you want to enjoy time with friends and family, that's cool. But if you don't want to be done, you are not done. And I guess I mentioned it earlier, but I think that what's so important to us is that we never stop learning. And I am absolutely convinced that continuous learning is what keeps us vibrant and relevant and engaged in the world. And one of the things that I learned about taking classes is that it's not only what you're going to learn, but it's who you're going to meet in those classes. So I met my co-author in Bonn, Germany, and an online class, right? Who knew we were going to be friends and colleagues and write a book together? You just never know who you're going to meet in a class. And I've met some amazing people in classes, and they are people who help me with my work going forward. And so maybe a third, you said two or three. I think my third and final would be that one of the things that made our collaboration so successful for Caroline and me is she often would say things like, What if we da da da and she's like, What if we set ourselves a little deadline? And it would be very non-threatening, but to embrace the idea of what if and like treat everything like an experiment. And what if I tried this and what if I did that? And learn from what works and what sticks and what feels good and cast aside the rest and that what if and that treating things like an experiment is very freeing and very it's not as scary as like I'm going to. Instead, it's like, what if what? That's a brilliant. Those are brilliant. And those with tie in together the continuous learning and the what if because you're learning and that whole body. Yes I love that. Thank you. Thank you. I've been sharing how to reach you. You can certainly email minute at but at minute at minute, Norman And you can check out her website at Minette. Norman So get in touch with her. Let her know how much you liked this and sign up for her next book. Thank you so much for having me, Wendy. It's been great to talk to you and I'm looking forward to staying connected with you as well. Me too. Me too. Me too. Just remind everybody. Join our walk to end Alzheimer's. Hey, Boomer team. I see that Kathy joined while we were doing the show, so thank you, Kathy. It's active ALS dot org slash go to slash hey boomer and connect with us on the Callan Leon well on hey boomer dot biz slash coaching or sign up for a 20 minute free session to just kind of talk about where you're at where you want to be, how you might want to get there. And you probably don't even know yet. So so let's have a chat next week. Next week should be interesting. My guests name is Deborah Benfield and Deb is the founder and owner of Body in Mind Nutrition, a group practice of registered dietitian nutritionists. Deb contends that there is an a just diet wellness culture that leads to a lack of body respect in the pro aging movement. And Deb wants to blaze a path to elder hood without the scales. So we stop worrying about how much we weigh and what we're eating and those kinds of things. And I want to leave you with the belief that we can all live with passion, live with relevance, and live with courage. And remember that you are never too old to set another goal or dream. A new dream. My name is Wendy Green with Minette Norman. And this has been. Hey, Boomer.

The Hey, Boomer guest today is Stella Fosse, writer, advocate for older women's empowerment and workshop leader.  Our topic today was Sexy Stories for and about Women Over Sixty. Stella reinvented herself from a technical writer, to a writer of erotica for and about older women. Her first book, Aphrodite's Pen: The Power of Writing Erotica after Midlife, includes lots of how to's and prompts to get your started. Her latest book, "Brilliant Charming Bastard" was released this year. We talked about claiming our narrative at this stage of our lives.  We discussed the difference between Elderotica and Seasoned Romance Stories.  When I asked about being objectified as sexual beings, Stella turned that around to finding the freedom of being able to walk down the street without being harassed, and the freedom to be more playful in our relationships. We talked about the benefit of finding supportive writers groups, both in person and online.  It was a fun discussion. I think you will enjoy it. Episode Takeaways: 1. Read books, and watch movies that show possibilities of this part of life. 2. Find ways to build creativity into this part of your life. 3. Enjoy your body. 4. Learning and sex until rigor mortis.  Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop – You can find Stella at stellafosse.com or email her at stella@stellafosse.com  Other resources mentioned Writing Open the Mind by Andy Couturier  Fifty First Dates After Fifty by Carolyn Lee Arnold  Fear of Dying by Erica Jong Naked at our Age by Joan Price  Forever 51 by Pamela Skjolsvik ============================================ Show transcript And welcome to the Hey Boomer Show, which is live every Monday at 1:00 Eastern on Facebook, LinkedIn and YouTube. My name is Wendy Green and I am your host for Hey Boomer. And hey, Boomer is a show for those of us who believe we are never too old to set another goal or dream, a new dream. It is for lifelong learners who want to find meaning and purpose in their lives and live the best part of their life in this next chapter. Every year I put together an Alzheimer's walk team and every year I get a bunch of people that come and walk with me and we raise money. Last year, we hit the championship level. We raised over 1000. So this year I am asking you to join our team. There's a couple of ways you can do this. You can join the local team here in Greenville, South Carolina, and walk with us and help raise money for that. Or you can join our our hey boomer team and walk in your community. So for now, I have a Greenville team. I have a hey boomer team in California and I have a Hey Boomer team in Maryland. And anybody that joins our team, I'm going to give them this cute, hey, boomer hat so that you can wear that when you walk and you can wear it afterwards proudly as a member of Hey, Boomer. So all you have to do is go to act.Alz.org/goto/HeyBoomer, join our team and support the hopeful end of Alzheimer's. I also want to say that I am not anti retirement. anti retirement, but I don't recommend it for almost anybody because retirement means withdrawal. And if you withdraw from life, you really are giving up on life. And what happens is that every day starts to run into the next. You become bored and lethargic. You find yourself spending more time on the couch than doing just about anything else. And I want to encourage you, as I said in the opening, this show is about living your best life in this next chapter. So I have a six-week group program called What's Next? And you can find it and get more information about it on HeyBoomer.Biz/coaching. There you'll find a synopsis of what the group coaching experience is about. A little video from me and an opportunity to sign up for a free 20 minute consultation so that I can learn more about you. You can learn more about me. And then we can make a decision whether this is a good fit for you or not. So there's no obligation. Check it out at heyboomer/coaching and get set or get your mojo back if you feel like you've lost it. Now to talk about what's coming up. Kathleen, A Berry PhD and coeditor of "Unmasked: Women write about sex and intimacy after 50" said, "When we think of erotica, we don't usually link it together with middle aged women." In fact, it is middle aged women who are finally liberated to fully experience the sensuous delight of erotica. They have reached the point in their lives when they are no longer encumbered by the risk of pregnancy, nor zapped by the physical ramifications of menopause. And there's another aspect to this topic. Ageist thinking says that older women become matronly and we lose our beauty. And the idea of older women having sex seems almost unappealing in our society. There are a few examples of women over 50 being sexual in the media. I'm sure that or I hope that you all have seen Grace and Frankie with Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda. And there's a new movie out with Emma Thompson called Good Luck to You, Leo Grande. And in this movie, Emma Thompson plays a widow who has never had a satisfying sex life. She is curious and she's nervous. She hires a sex worker. This movie explores her journey to becoming comfortable with her own sexuality. It is available on Hulu. Good luck to you, Leo Grande. So today we're going to talk about the idea that we are all sensual beings into our sixties, seventies, eighties and beyond, and that we can all make our own decisions about what is right for us regarding sex at this stage of our life, really at any stage of our life. So let me bring Stella on and introduce you. Hello, Stella. I want to thank. Thanks for having. Me. Oh, I've been looking forward to this. And so is the audience. I've heard a lot of people say, Oh, I'm going to watch. I'm going to watch. So brief bio. Stella is a former biotechnology writer who advocates for the creative power of older women. Her books include "Aphrodite's Pen: The Power of Writing Erotica After Midlife", "The Erotic Pandemic Ball," And ooh, did you hear the Thunder? And her debut novel at age 68, "Brilliant, Charming Bastard." She is currently teaching romance writing to seniors and writing a book about creative retirement. Stella lives with her partner in North Carolina. You can follow her on Facebook, LinkedIn and Instagram, and she blogs on her website, which we will get to, and I'll share all of her contact information later. So, Stella. Yes. So, you know, in my coaching practice, I always talk to people about reinvention. And many people have a really hard time thinking about what they're going to do next. They had their career and That was that was who they defined themselves as they didn't have an idea of what was next. So I'm curious about your reinvention journey from tech writer to writer of erotica and the ups and downs of that. Oh Well, I always wanted to be a writer. In fact, my childhood goal was to write my first novel by the time I was 25. So I missed that by 50 years. As you said, it's never too late. So I went to college in the early seventies when there was a total double standard about writing anything sexual. Philip Roth's novels were literature. Erica Jong's novels were trash. And so that's that's what it was like when I came up. And I certainly never thought about writing erotica back then after college, after I got my degree in creative writing, which when I moved to New York, I was told would get me. If I had that plus $0.25, I could get a ride in the subway. So I went back to school, got a master's in biology, and had a career writing FDA submissions, which are about as asexual as you can get. And when I was starting to think about graduating from that career, if we don't like the word retirement, maybe we can. Graduation. I happened to read an article in the New York Times Book Review section by a romance author who was also in her late fifties, who was advising her sister writers that if they wanted to get published, they should write romance characters in their twenties. And I thought, that's pretty outrageous. Why should women of a certain age have to closet themselves when they write? And around that time, a friend of mine Linx Cannon started a reading series at an Oakland bookstore called Dirty Old Women, and she invited all her friends to write erotic stories and come and read them before an audience. And I thought, Well, why not? So that's that's how this started. So I mean, I think if you asked me to come to a book reading and writing erotic stuff called Dirty Old Women, I would probably be pretty nervous. Were you nervous at first? Yeah, I sure was. But, you know, we had a great crowd every time, and it was really a mixed age crowd. There were a lot of younger women in the audience who would come up to us afterwards and thank us and say, you know, we we thought that part of life ended around age 40. So thank you for showing us that that's not the case. I've come to think of this kind of writing as a political act, really, as part of our part of liberating ourselves. So a political act and an educational act in a sense, for the young people that there is. You can continue to look forward to this. That's right. This doesn't just there's not a not a cutoff date. Right. Right. So in Aphrodite's pen, you talk about the power of writing erotica. As older women, what do you mean by that power? I think I think there are a couple of kinds of power involved. One is the power to claim back our narrative for ourselves. You mentioned earlier that there's this there's this idea in the culture. There's this sexist age trope that older women have outlived their own sexuality. And when we write, even if even if a woman writes a story and saves it for herself, she's reclaiming her own agency because, you know, sexuality isn't something society gives us or something society can take away. It's innate in us. And when we write, we reclaim that for ourselves. And if we decide to publish a story, then we're pushing back on this big cultural narrative. I think of. I think of culture as sort of like an ocean liner. You know, it's going in one direction. It's big, has a lot of there's a lot of inertia. But if if everybody gets out their teaspoon, writes their story and starts, you know, pushing the water, we can we can start turning the culture in a better direction if a lot of us are writing our stories. Well, if you've never written anything like that before. Yeah, how would you even get started? Well, I think, you know, if you're not in a community that has a dirty old women reading series, you can still you can certainly get a copy of Aphrodite's Pen, which has exercise, writing exercises, writing prompts, all kinds of ideas for how to create characters, how to mine your own life experience. Because by now all of us have lots and lots of experience that we can draw from in creating plots and creating characters. And then the book also has interviews with women, older women who write erotica, talking about their experience and examples of stories that they've written. So you can really get a sense of of this what I think of as a developing crone culture. Hmm. Hmm. So I, I have to tell you, I mean, I was so a naive, I guess is the right word about all of this. You know, I was I was thinking, well, there's not really going to be much of a plot. It's just going to be one sexual act after another. And and when I read your book, Brilliant, Charming Bastard, there was quite an involved plot there and not nearly as much sex as I expected there to be. And it was tastefully managed. So it was a big surprise to me. And you called this form of this genre of writing. Like, what did you call it? Elderotica. Elderotica. And and the way they categorize it. So seasoned, well there is a category of seasoned romance. Seasoned romance. So when I was speaking earlier about that article, I read by that the woman advising other women writers to make their characters young. She was writing romance, which is a really structured form. And I sort of thought I was writing romance when I wrote Brilliant Charming Bastard. But now that I'm teaching about romance, I realized that I did not follow the rules. Romance. Romance has a very set structure for how you set up your plot and how your characters interact and what happens at the end. And it's really about a happily ever after ending. And my book is more a lot of people hate the phrase women's literature. But I think mine is more like seasoned women's literature. But there is a whole category now called season romance. Publishers are realizing that we are a big market. There are a lot of people now, more and more people in their fifties, sixties and seventies. And we don't necessarily want to read about people in their twenties. Right. So what's the difference then between Seasoned Romance and Elderotica? Oh, that's a good question. So. So if you think about again, if you think about what romance is, it's it's really centered around one relationship between two people and they have to have a happily ever after ending. Erotica is more like how one person develops, one main character develops through her sexual experiences and and becomes a more fully developed person by the end of the story. So it's it's it's a different it's a different genre. And then there's porn, which is a whole different thing. Right, right, right. So I would say that Good Luck To You, Leo Grande is Elderotica. Have you seen it? Oh, I love that movie. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because she definitely develops into a more fuller person. Yes. And she's really developing her relationship with herself. Yes. Not that the other person is objectified because he's not. I think he's he's he's a fully developed character in his own right. But but the the real theme of the story is that she comes into her own, as you said earlier. Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is sort of. It is elder erotica. I hadn't thought of that. Yeah. Yeah, I loved it. It is. I mean, at first I wasn't sure if I was going to like it, but yeah, it was so brave. Yes. So so talking about objectification. Yeah. Right. So when we're young, you know, society, I mean, sex sells and ads, right? They encourage young women to dress sexy, wear the highest heels, you know. And it is a very objectified way of gaining attention as older women, of course, we still want to look lovely and sexy. And how do we how do we do that so that our minds are not telling us? Yeah, but that's just objectifying yourself. That's a really interesting question. I think. I think there comes a point in most of our lives where we can walk past a construction site without being harassed. And and, you know, that is, you know, people talk about invisibility of older women. There is that upside. There is that freedom. And in that freedom, I really think there's an opportunity, again, to to look at our own agency, to claim our own sexual being and to not feel like we're always having to fend off unwanted attention. So I like to look at the freedom side of it. And and once we've once we're kind of in that state, once we're in that stage, when we reclaimed our freedom, then I think it gives us room to be more playful in our relationships because because we have freed ourselves of that concern about being objectified. Not that I mean, you can you can play with objectification in a consensual relationship. That's something there's that wonderful book, Mating in Captivity, that talks about talks about that. But but again, I really think that this notion of invisibility has a huge positive aspect for us as a women. It's a great way to phrase it. Yeah, because we don't have to. We don't have to be harassed walking down the street. No, but we can be free and playful on our own terms when we want to. With whom we want to. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I know. We've got a big thunderstorm coming up here. Thor Agrees with you. That's right. So so talking about the women's movement and the whole discussion about ageism. Now, you and I have both been involved in in those discussions in larger forums and, you know, the societal myth of women losing their sexuality like you talked about with the young people. So I'm curious how you think writing about sexuality or erotica or reading about it even can can help in that, dispelling some of those ageist myths? Yeah. Yeah. You know, we all grew up with women our age, grew up swimming in this gender age group without even realizing it. I mean, think about, you know, Sleeping Beauty and Maleficent. Think about Cinderella and the wicked stepmother. I mean, we we absorbed a lot of that before. We were old enough to have maybe have clear thinking about the fact that we weren't always going to be Cinderella's age someday. We were going to be the age of the stepmother. And what did that mean for us? So. So when we step back from those myths and start creating our own myths, I think that really gives us a lot of power and it gives us a new voice that's important for us as older women. So I think it's key to seek out as a reader, as a watcher of movies and shows. I mean, you mentioned some really powerful, significant shows. There are a lot of great books out there. I mentioned Erica Jong earlier. She wrote Fear of Flying as a young woman. She wrote Fear of Dying as an older woman, which is a great novel with a lot of sexuality about being in our sixties. These are ways that we can reclaim our our power through reading and writing and kind of we can reprogram ourselves away from all that sexist age stuff that we were exposed to when we were young. I do think there's power in that. You know, when we when we stay in our own heads and and tell ourselves the same old story over and over again, which we bought into because that's how we were raised. Seeing other examples like Grace and Frankie, like Leo Grande, you know, you start to say, Oh, well, there are other ways to look at this. And I love Erica Jong. Yeah, yeah, she's great. And, you know, there are more and more women writing from that vantage point now. Caroline Lee Arnold has a new memoir out called 51st Dates After 50. Which which is really fun. I got to got to interview her from my blog recently. And that's just one example I have on my website. I have a whole list of references for movies, shows and books because I really think it's important as a as a consumer of culture, to be mindful of what we are consuming and and look at the positive aspects of this part of our lives, because there are plenty of negative stories out there. Right. I think I'll try to link to that in the show notes. Oh. Yeah, because that would be good for everybody. So you're teaching a course now? Yeah. What is that course? It's called Thee and Me Could Write a Bad Romance. What is that about? Oh, so I. One day I just on a whim, I put up something on LinkedIn saying, I'm thinking about teaching this class. Thee and Me Could Write a Bad Romance. And a woman from an organization that provides lots of content for for older folks wrote to me and said, Oh, great, we want you to come teach this class. Well, of course, I had no curriculum. I just I just had this title. So that's when I started learning what romance is actually about as a genre, and that I actually had not written one. I thought I did, but I didn't. So. So I put together a curriculum. It's eight weeks long and we've been looking at the whole structure of romance, what act one looks like. Act two looks like Act three looks like how to build characters, how to build plot, how to make your scene conform to what you're looking for, how to construct dialogue that works the whole the whole thing. So it's been a lot of fun and I'm I'm looking forward to offering it again for a wider audience later on. And are most people going to end the course with a written story? Well, they're they won't end with full drafts of romance novels, but they'll end with a lot. They have everybody by now has a schematic with every scene they're going to write. They have descriptions of their main characters. They're supporting characters. They have a lot of their scenes written, and now they're working on love scenes, which is fun. That's great. So can they find out about this on your website? It's not up there yet. I will I will put it up there because as I said, I do want to offer this again in the fall. I'll be offering this class. So Stella's website is StellaFosse" FOSSE" and you can sign up for her newsletter at page.StellaFosse/What's-new? And you don't have to worry about that because as soon as you get in the website, you'll start getting these annoying invitations to sign up for the blogs and the newsletter. Yeah, so they're fun to read too, so I would encourage you to do that. So just a couple more questions. This one's a little bit more. Yeah. Okay. Realistic, let's say. All right. All right. So you're writing erotica, right? Sex at this stage of your life, our lives is not always easy, right? Women are not lubricating the way they used to. Men are not getting erections like they used to. And sometimes our knees hurt trying to get into position. So, I mean, you could make a comedy erotic story about that, but I'm wondering how you handle that in an erotic story. That's a really good question. So so there's a woman named Joan Price who writes she writes a senior advice column for Senior Planet on Sexuality, and she's written also some great books, including one called Naked at Our Age, which I highly recommend. And she reviews, by the way, she reviews sex toys from the standpoint of an older person and recommends vibrators and all kinds of sex toys. So she's a wonderful resource. I really recommend her. And when I read so, so I like to think about this from the flip side, I like to think about if I'm looking at what she has to say about senior sexuality. Then what is it that works well for us at this stage and focus on that. So for example, in one of her books, she talks about that that men have passed a certain age do really well sexually if they're standing because of the way blood flows. So so that inspired me to write a story in which a couple in their sixties at the end of the story, there's a there's a love scene where they're leaning against a vibrating dishwasher while they're they've been in the kitchen talking, and then they end up doing that. So so I think there are ways to incorporate the positives, the things that do work well into our writing. So and again, I really I really recommend Joan. I think she's a great. Great resource. Yeah, thanks. I'll have to check that out. And you put up a quote from Anderson Cooper, which I thought was hysterical. His mother, Gloria Vanderbilt, was 85 when she said to him, I'm going to write an erotic novel. And he said, those were the seven most horrifying words he'd ever heard. I haven't asked my kids how they would feel if I was to announce that. Maybe I will ask them. But how did your sons or daughters or how did your kids respond to this? You know, I love it when I love that quote. And when I put that up on Facebook, I'm Facebook friends with Janet Herdy, who some of your readers may know as the author of The Ethical Slut, a book that came out quite a while ago about polyamory. And and so my comment was, oh, my poor babies. And then and then her answer was, oh, mine too. So but actually, the interesting thing is so that's Stella Foster is a pen name. And the reason I chose a pen name is that I didn't want to embarrass my adult children any more than necessary, but they've actually been pretty cool about it. In fact, one of my daughters, who's a professional designer, designed the cover for Brilliant, Charming Bastard. So, yeah. I think that they I think that they they like the idea of empowering older women and that this is a way to do it. And after all, I have two sons and two daughters. My daughters are going to be older women at some point, too. So. So I think they get it surprisingly. Have they read your books? No. No, they. Don't. Not necessary. No, no, no. That's not for them. So what's next for you? What's coming down the pike? Well, I am in the middle of writing a book about creative retirement with a friend of mine, Stevie Jane Parks, who is a psychotherapist and an abstract painter. So she took up abstract painting after her former career was winding down. So. So we're we're in the middle of doing that. We're we're writing about lots of different topics, everything from housing to sexuality to creativity and play to just everything you can think of movement. And so that's great fun. And we're collecting anecdotes to include in that book from a lot of older women who've who've taken on new adventures after 60. So that's being fun. I also have decided that if I'm going to teach about romance, I'd better actually write a romance that actually is a romance. So, so in the in the in teaching this class, I've come up with an outline that I use as an example. And it's a, it's a, it's a vampire romance. So. So that can. Be pretty sexy, actually. Fun. There's already one out there. There's a there's a really good one out there called Forever 51. Oh, I don't know that. It's about a woman who becomes a vampire in the middle of menopause. So she's she's permanently in the throes of menopause. It's very fun to read. Oh, gosh. Now, you mentioned earlier that some some like if you really wanted to try and learn how to do this, you know, you certainly your book, Aphrodite's Pen is one way, but you also talked about writing groups. So I know you had some great groups out in California. Now you're in your new home in North Carolina. Are you finding other women that you can form a group with and write with? I'm. I'm involved in. So in North Carolina, we have this wonderful organization called the North Carolina Writers Network, which is a statewide organization there. They're like, you couldn't throw a rock without hitting a writer in North Carolina. There's so many. So I'm involved in the local chapter of that statewide organization. When I first got there, I walked in with a stack of Aphrodite's pen, which had just come out at that point, and I think they were somewhat taken aback by that. I bet they were. This California girl, what's up with her? But they've gotten used to me and I'm on the steering committee for that local organization now. So I think they've decided they can tolerate me, after all. But at this point, I would say a lot of. There's so much opportunity online to work with other writers all over the country. For example, I really recommend anybody who's interested in getting involved in writing to sign up with National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo, which is based in the San Francisco Bay Area. People all over the country are writing first novels through NaNoWriMo. And actually, I have there are lots of local subgroups through NaNoWriMo, and there also are topically related groups. So for example, I have one on there for erotica writers. There are lots of opportunities no matter where you live. Yeah, the pandemic has changed things so much that doing things virtually is so much closer to the norm now than it was a couple of years ago. So true. That's so it's really, really opened up a lot of opportunities for for folks our age to do many things that we wouldn't have been able to do before. So how does that work? Well, yeah, but say I've never written before. Right? I write a blog, but I've never written a book. I've fantasized about it. But yeah, you know, I would like to want to creep in and sit in the very back row and like, don't ask me anything, let me just listen; harder to do on a virtual screen. But how does it work when you join a writing group? Well, a couple of things. One is, you know, there are books you can get that will just help you launch into writing from starting from zero. And my favorite and this is not about erotica, but my favorite book to to introduce people to writing in general is called Writing Open the Mind. It's by Andy Couturier, and it has all kinds of ideas and exercises for helping people look at writing as play and not judge themselves. And that's really key when you're when you're writing a first draft, when you're first getting involved in writing, to set aside your inner critic and be playful about your writing. So that's how I approach writing, teaching, writing. That's how I'm approaching the and me could write a bad romance because it doesn't matter if your first draft is bad, it's just play and it's fine. So that's, that's one thing. But yeah, I think it's important to find a safe. If you're going to find a writing group, it's important to find one that's a safe space where people are going to give you feedback that encourages you to keep going and not not nitpick. And. And when I when I run a writing group, I ask folks to give. The following kind of feedback. Listen to what the person is reading you and then write down the phrases that really grab you that seem really significant to you. Write down what you like and give the person that feedback that will help them to keep going. You know, I think I think those things are really significant. Yeah. Sometimes one or two phrases of compliments can take away some of that fear. So. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, this has been this has been really interesting. You know, I have I have read and watched more erotica this past week or so, getting ready for this show then probably ever. And it's really been interesting, though, Stella. It has helped. It has opened my eyes and acceptance in a lot of ways and. Yeah, yeah. Fun, yeah. You know, Maggie Kuhn, who founded the Gray Panthers had this motto, Learning and sex until rigor mortis. Keep learning. Keep having sex. That's the best advice ever. Well, before we went on, we talked about possibly you gifting a couple of downloads of your book, your newest book to some of our listeners. Do you want to tell people how you do it? And I will share your email address. Sure, I'm happy to do that. So the first three folks who write to me at Stella@StellaFosse.com, be happy to send you an E-copy of Brilliant, Charming Bastard. So just, just get on there and write to me. The book will come from book club and it may go into your spam or junk folder. So if you don't see the book in the next day or two, please check your spam and junk folders. Make sure that it's not hiding there. And if that doesn't work, write to me again and let me know and I'll we'll sort it out. So, okay, so it's the first three people. So you can't wait. We have more than that. We have a bunch of people watching so it's good. Yeah. It's Stella@StellaFosse "Fosse" .com. So drop her a note right now. Yeah. Get started on. Brilliant, charming bastard. Yeah. And I hope that lots of folks will sign up for the blogs and emails and also look look for the resources tab on the website. Because, again, we have lots of movies, shows and books that talk about the positives around your sexuality from a fictional standpoint. And also I have I have some of Joan Price's books up there as Resources to. Awesome. Thank you for what you're doing, Stella. Well, it's fun. It's a fun revolution. I like to. It's a fun revelation. So I always ask my guests for two or three takeaways. Okay, so what would you like to leave the audience with? All right. The first is one of the things we've been talking about this whole time, and that is read books and watch movies that show the possibilities of this part of life. It's easy to find the negative stuff, but if we're going to reprogram ourselves and look at the bright side, it's important to find those those books and movies and shows. And I'd say Caroline Arnold's new memoir, 51st Dates After 50, would be a great place to start. That sounds like fun. The second thing is find ways to build creativity into your life. Whatever works for you, whether that's cooking or painting or writing and and find people who enjoy the same thing you do so you can reinforce each other. Share, share information and resources and successes. And as I said earlier, National Novel Writing Month is a great free way to get involved if writing is a way that you want to be creative. The third thing is enjoy your body. Your body is a good gift. And you know, I took up weightlifting in my sixties. It's marvelous. Talk about helping you feel powerful. Go swimming, buy a vibrator. I mean, look at Joan Price's recommendations and and find something that works for you. And again, remember what Maggie KUHN said, learning and sex until rigor mortis. Great advice. Thank you, Maggie KUHN. Maggie, if you read her autobiography, she certainly took her own advice. All right. So we've been I've been sharing Stella's website information again. You can email her at Stella@StellaFosse.com So hopefully you get lots and lots of emails and questions and check out the resource page like she said. Absolutely. Join our walk to End Alzheimer's. Yes. The link for that is act.alz.org/goto/HeyBoomer and join the team, contribute to try and end this awful disease. You know, it's certainly our parents or us could be looking at that at some point. We don't want to! Connect with me about the What's Next coaching program, the six week group coaching program at HeyBoomer.biz/coaching. I'd love to talk to you 20 minutes. 20 minutes. That could change your life and really give you some insights into what's next for you. So check that out. This guest has been amazing. Well, thank you. Yes. And thank you for having me. Thank you for joining us. It's such an interesting conversation. And I want to tell you about my guest for next week. Her name is Minette Norman and we're calling the show Jumping Off into the Great Unknown. So both Minette and I have done this more than once, and we are going to share our stories and our experiences together. We talked about kind of interviewing each other, so that should be an interesting experiment. Minette's LinkedIn Profile says she helps leaders cultivate inclusive teams. She's a keynote speaker, a psychological safety certified practitioner and an upcoming author. And I thought, how cool is that? That she claimed it before her books out there. I am an upcoming author, so I thought that was pretty cool. And like Stella modeled for us today and like we all strive for "live with passion, live with relevance, and live with courage". My name is Wendy Green, and this has been Hey, Boomer.

There are a few subjects that most of us avoid talking about with friends and family, really with just about everyone. Money, politics and death. The statistics show that 75% of Americans want to die at home, but only 25% actually do. The statistics show that more bankruptcies occur due to medical expenses, particularly end of life expenses. Not having the conversation about how you want to die can be a costly omission as well as a missed opportunity for bonding and closeness between family and friends. Michael Hebb, founder of deathoverdinner.org has created a way to host a dinner conversation about death while breaking bread and building connection. He has found that deep interpersonal relationships are formed when talking about difficult topics. Having a dinner is easy! We walked through the process and even tried a sample question. Let's Talk about Death is Michael's book about the subject and the process. Episode Takeaways: 1. Don't be discouraged when loved ones show resistance to talking about death over dinner. Think of it as a courtship. Be patient and gentle 2. Thinking about generations over dinner, how "generation diverse" are you? Could you invite 3, 4, 7 generations to dinner.  3. Talking about our mortality is the thing that gives us the most clarity, vitality and sense of purpose. Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop – You can find Michael Hebb at hebb.life  - deathoverdinner.org  - generationsoverdinner.com (launching in Sept. 2020 )

Glacier National Park! It is breathtaking. There is crystal blue waters, and peaks made even more fantastic because of the erosion caused by the glaciers and the runoff. There are mountain goats and big horn sheep. And there are 25 glaciers left. There were arond 140 when the park was established in 1910.  On my trip with Road Scholar to Glacier National Park, I wanted to interview some of the guests, to learn their stories, to hear about how these people, ages 60's - 80's are staying engaged and living their lives. This show is a series of interviews with some of these people and with the group leader. Each one is different and each one is interesting and interested in what life offers. I hope you enjoy the show. Episode Takeaways: 1. Whatever your passions are, go for it. 2. Be a lifelong learner 3. Be open to new experiences 4. Visit our National Parks Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow us on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop  - Check out some of the Road Scholar trips at www.roadscholar.org/heyboomer 

The usual focus of this podcast is the financial side of retirement. Equally important is knowing what retirement will actually be like. On this episode, I sit down with retirement coach and podcaster Wendy Green to discuss the logistics of retired life, retiree time management, and finding your purpose outside the workplace. You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in... Getting to know Wendy Green [1:31]  Retirement surprises and making the most of your third act [3:23] Finding purpose beyond the early retirement phase and leaving behind the legacy you want [8:50] The importance of mindset and goal-setting in retirement [14:50] Making the most of your retirement Most people are counting down the days until they walk out of their workplace for the last time and enter retirement. But few consider this very important question: What are you going to do? How are you going to meaningfully fill your days after devoting 30-plus years to a career? Wendy gives most people a six-month honeymoon period before the golf bags and aimless days get old and 18 months to two years before retirees get their feet under them again. But with a little planning, it doesn't have to take that long to acclimate. Wendy suggests identifying and cultivating the roles that serve you while leaving behind the ones that no longer do. Going from strictly planned days to no plans at all can be a difficult transition to make. That's why Wendy helps her clients put together a schedule that fits the retired lifestyle they want to have. Retirement is the time to pursue passions that were put on the shelf to prioritize family or a career. Take a class. Learn a skill. Go on that trip to Europe you've always dreamed of. Fill your days with the things that matter most to you. Discover renewed purpose When we think about the focus of retired life, we often identify travel and time with family as top priorities. And they are! But Wendy notes that this is more of an early retirement view. Once retirees get a few months or even years under their belt, they often yearn for more, and life starts to become about purpose. They ask bigger questions like why am I here and what SHOULD I be doing with the hopefully 20 to 30 years I have left?  Volunteering can be incredibly positive for people looking for renewed purpose in retirement. It's important to find things that will bring you fulfillment and leave behind the kind of legacy you desire. Wendy has witnessed clients find purpose in everything from working with organizations tackling food insecurity and homelessness to puppeteering and working with children. Age is just a number when it comes to making an impact. Get out there and discover your next passion. Listen to this episode for more of Wendy's insights on retired life! Resources Mentioned Visit Wendy's website  Listen to the Hey, Boomer! Podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts Follow the Hey, Boomer! Podcast on Instagram  Connect With Morrissey Wealth Management  www.MorrisseyWealthManagement.com/contact

Pastor Jim Dant was married for 30 years. He is the father of 3 daughters. His childhood had been tumultuous. He had 2 mothers, 7 fathers and numerous half or step siblings. He had sworn to himself that he would never divorce and never put his kids through what he went through. He spent a couple of years in therapy and talking to others in the ministry before he was ready to make the decision to end the marriage. He also had a "mystical experience" that gave him added spiritual assurance that God would not abandon him or his ex-wife. In this episode we talked about the loss of friendships and some family. We talked about reshaping our lives as separate from a couple. We talked about rebuilidng community. We talked about the importance of getting to know who you are and what is important to you. And of course we talked about the spiritual aspect of divorce and how God could understand divorce and how there does not have to be shame in making a promise we could not keep. Episode Takeaways: 1. Every life can be reshaped. Whatever you are going through, there is a way to cut a new path, there is a way to reshape your life, there is a way to find meaning and purpose. 2. Divine presence in your life is always there, whichever choice you make. Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop – You can find Jim at jim@faithlab.com  Sponsors: RoadScholar.org/heyboomer  Real Eats: 40% off n ext 4 orders with code JULY4

Dani Baker was a practicing clinical psychologist and at the end of her career she was doing work with the prison system in Upstate NY. She had also developed a "side hustle" as a photographer and won several awards for her photography. As someone who does not do well with idle time, Dani was concerned about how she would fill her time once she retired. So she and her partner bought 100 acres of land that had been used as a dairy farm. Her original thought was that she would wander around, do some landscaping and have access to outdoor recreation. That lasted about a year, and then they started a small garden. They grew enough vegetables to begin selling them, and the garden expanded. Seven years into this journey, Dani took a course on permaculture, and by the end of the course she knew she wanted to create an Edible Forest. In this episode we talk about her transition to farming and then to creating and maintaining the Enchanted Edible Forest. We learn about a typical day on a working farm. We talked about her nature photography and how it has enhanced her new book, The Home Scale Forest Garden: how to plan, plant and tend a resilient edible landscape. Finally, with the recognition that at 73 she is slowing down some, we talked about how she is reinventing herself again, with the new book. Episode Takeaways: 1. Take what you loved as a child and bring it forward into this next stage of life. 2. You can't control life or a garden, learn to accept what is. 3. Follow your passion 4. Pay attention to your health, physical, emotional and spiritual health Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop – You can find Dani and the Enchanted Edible Forest at Enchanted Edible Forest  Please support our sponsors - RoadScholar.org/heyboomer  - Real Eats 

In this episode we are talking about transformation and cultivating courage.  Deb Beroset had built a career in corporate as a journalist and a PR executive. She liked her work. She was good at her work, but she kept hearing a call for something else that she was meant to be doing. She tells us about the defining moment when she knew she had to step away from her corporate job and begin her own path. We also talked about "every day courage." This is the courage that we find when we show up as we are, when we can live our own truth. It can be our thoughts and our fears that get in the way of living with every day courage. Learning to be a "friendly witness" of the thoughts in our head and finding another thought to replace it with can be helpful. When facing a big transformation, we may perceive with fear what might be. That is a time to ask yourself the question, "what might happen if I don't do this thing?" You won't know exactly how things will unfold or evolve. Take the step anyway. Episode Takeaways: 1. It is never too late to be the person you were born to be 2. Trust yourself, you are way bigger than you realize 3. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it 4. Life gives big payoffs to those of us who are willing to take that step; willing to evolve and grow. Giveaway: Deb is offering a Courage Kit to anyone who sends her an email with Courage Kit in the subject line. Also, if you write a note about what you want courage for, Deb will chose one winner to join her SOUL CARE MASTER CLASS! Entries must be in by June 25. Links: Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram Road Scholar: roadscholar.org/heyboomer  Real Eats: https://bit.ly/3aPQ1vb  You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop – You can find Deb at deb@itstimeformoxie.com. 

Celebrating my 100th episode with Paul Long, from a New Way Forward. Of course I had to ask, if you knew you would live to 100, how would you want to live it? The discussion went on from there. We talked about how we may be looking at life with old, outdated beliefs. These beliefs may be stopping us from the living the life we want to live. It is time to recognize it is "My Time" and start reimaging and reinventing the life you want to live. The real story about getting older has to do with your attitudes, passions, purpose and beliefs more than it has to do with your chronological age. We talked about the small (or large) voices in our heads that come from our own inner ageist. These voices that tell us why we can't do the things we want to do, and shared some ideas on how to address those voices. And we talked about fear. When looking at the next 20-30 years of your life, what do you fear? Paul talked about the fear of regret, looking back at the end of life and regretting the life you did not live.  Episode Takeaways:  Where attention goes focus flows The power of intention and attention Put attention on what you want and then ask WHY you want it. Keep askig until you get to the most true answer. Change the way you have been to who you want to be. Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop. The next workshop begins on August 2. – You can find Paul at paul@newwayfwd.com or on his website at newwayfwd.com 

 Bernadette Wagner started Prime Time for Women in 2018. She was in her late 50's and wondering about healthy aging. After some research, her intuition was confirmed. Positive social connections have a larger impact on our wellbeing as we age, and these connections are particularly important for women. The program started with a live TV show in Hagerstown, MD. Since that time it has grown into a nonprofit that provides numerous activities to encourage social engagement and help local charities. One of the slogans of Prime Time for Women is "every woman deserves to be seen and heard." To this end, there is a book club for members, hikes, walking for wellness, cooking opportunities.  One of the activites that we talked about were the Grandma Gatewood Hikes. The story Bernadette tells about Grandma Gatewood's determination to be the first woman to hike the Appalachian Trail at the age of 67 has many takeaway lessons for all of us. Don't let people tell you what you can't do Don't let people tell you, you are too old Follow your passion and your dreams. We also talked about the neurochemcials of happiness and that positive emotional connections that get planted in our brains can bring back the originial sense of joy that they brought us. Episode Takeaways: 1. Do it your way! Figure out your interests and then think about how you can benefit somebody else while pursuing your interest. 2. Why benefit someone else? Because when you feel purposeful you have a greater opportunity for improved health 3. Positive social connections have a greater impact on physical health and emotional wellbeing than diet and exercise combined. Thanks so much for listening. Please support our sponsor at RoadScholar.org/heyboomer  Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week "What's Next" workshop that begins on August 2. Let's chat. – You can find Prime Time for Women at primetimeforwomen.org.  – Email Bernadette at bernadettewagner01@gmail.com  Check out Lifeboost Coffee, one of our aff iliate marketing partners

Randye Kaye, author of Happier Made Simple, has been divorced and remarried, lost the use of one leg and has since regained her mobility, and she is the mother of a young man suffering from schizophrenia. Any day could be a good day or a bad day, but somehow Randye seemed to find a way to stay mostly optimistic and hopeful. Friends, physicians and others she worked with would ask her how she found a way to be happy. Her book, Happier Made Simple explains how. What I love about this book is the realism and the humor that is part of it. Randye does not pretend that we can be happy all the time. Sometimes life sucks. But she gives you an acronym, BREATHE, that gives you seven core phrases that will help you find ways to be happier. Episode Takeaways 1. It's not a competition, you are not supposed to be happy every single hours, ever single second of the day. 2. Finding ways to be happier by what we tell ourselves will give us more energy to revitalize us, help us reach our goals and meet our challenges. 3. Are we the victim or the victor in our stories? It is all in the way we tell our stories. 4. Nobody is perfect. Each day is an opportunity to learn Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz Visit our sponsor at roadscholar.org/heyboomer  – You can find Randye at randyekaye.com or at happiermadesimple.com 

"I used to be thin, and now I'm not. I eat the same, exercise ... what's up?" This is a familiar refrain of many of us as we move into our 50's, 60's and 70's. Our bodies change and most of the diet books and research is focused on people in their 20's - 40's.  The Whole Body Reset is for us, in midlife and beyond. Heidi Skolnik, coauthor and a nutritionist and exercise physiologist, talks to us about the importance of protein timing and maintaining muscle as we age to maintain our health and wellbeing.  We blow up the idea that our metabolism slows down as we age, it is about having fewer metabolically active cells as we lose muscle. We talked about the role fiber plays in providing nutrients and maintaining gut health. Healthy fats play a role in helpting to aborb fat soluble vitamins. Dairy is nutrient rich, maintains bone health and provide the amino acid luceine, a "spark plug for muscle building." And of course, we talked about exercise, and the importance of resistance and strength training. The Whole Body Reset diet is easily adaptable to your life style, whether you are a vegan or a carnivore.  Episode Takeaways: 1. Start with one goal that is doable for you. Maybe breakfast tomorrow that hits the protein mark. Small changes can have big impacts. 2. Look at your fiber choices and begin to swap out some with foods you might not think about but that you will really like. 3. Begin to move and add resistance training. Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify and please rate and review the episode. Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz Support our sponsor: https://www.roadscholar.org/heyboomer  – You can find Heidi at her website at heidiskolnik.com or on Instagram and Twitter at @heidiskolnik

The mother-daughter relationship is one of deepest mutuality and painful estrangement. Being the same sex, the relationship makes the boundaries less clear. It is easier to project our wishes and expectations onto our daughters then it is with our sons. As we work through separating from our mothers to become the autonomous women we are meant to become, we make ask ourselves: Did my mother hold me too close? Did she want me to be too much like her? Did she push me out? Did she want to live through us?    We talked about the mother archetype which has both a positive and negative association. There is the symbols of The Venus, Mother Mary, The Fairy Godmother on one side and the symbols of the Evil Step Mother and Medusa on the other side. Our female friendships become a way to heal some of the difficulties we may bring from the mother-daughter relationship.  We ended the episode with a moving story from The Book of Angels, by Sophie Burnham. Episode Takeaways: 1. Become aware, look more deeply at the relationship 2. Strive to understand some of the differences between mother archetypes. 3. Interesting the similarities of the MeToo Movement and the climate change movement when looked at through archetypes. Women expected to give, and the abuse of the takers. Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz Websites Mentioned: RoadScholar.org/heyboomer  NAMI.org - National Alliance of Mental Illness MHAnational.org/crisisresources   – Wendy Green is a Certified Life Coach, working with people going through the sometimes uncomfortable life transition from full-time work to “what's next.” Find out more about Wendy's 6-week “What's Next Transition” Coaching workshop, or contact wendy at wendy@heyboomer.biz – You can find Barbara at barbkauf8@gmail.com or comedyshrink.com 

Elder Financial Abuse is the fastest growing category of elder abuse, and the numbers are going up every year.  Typically a caregiver or family member works to gain the trust of an elderly person and gains access to financial accounts. In this episode we discuss Red Flags to may point to suspicious activity. We talk about things a person can do if they suspect financial abuse. We also talked about other scams, such as phone scams and online scams. Part of the reason older people are more vulnerable to financial exploitation is because it is more likely that they are isolated and lonely. Frances Simon, my guest and founder of the PSGroup, suggests that even if your loved one lives out of state, that you develop relationships with neighbors and elder support services where they live. Episode Takeaways 1. Be intentional about getting your financial house in order. 2. Plan for something fun, in other words, reward yourself for the work you do to get your financial documents in order. 3. Be organized in your living space. Let your children or contact person know where your paperwork is; do not leave an inheritance of a big mess. 4. Create a memento box and write letters to your children to store along with memories you want to save for them.

We are living in the Age of Longevity and choosing a home in the second half of life requires planning and reflection. Place matters is foundational to this planning. Aging well starts with a vision of what you want. You want to consider location as well as how place will enhance your sense of purpose, social connections, physical activity and financial well-being. Ryan Frederick, my guest for this episode, is the author of Right Place, Right Time. He breaks down the importance of each of these components. He has an issue with the term, "aging in place." He prefers the term "living in community" and he explains what he means during our discussion. Successful aging is not a solo sport. Include family, friends and a partner if you have one, in the discussion. In the episode we talk about alternative housing options, such as intergenerational living, co-housing, co-living and home sharing.  Finally, we talked about the importance of investigating health care living options, should they become necessary, before they become necessary. Moving can be disruptive and having to move under dire circumstances only makes it more difficult. Being prepared, having done your homework, may alleviate some of the stress. Episode Takeaways: 1. Give place the respect it deserves 2. Place matters, choose wisely 3. Seek counsel with family and friends. 4. Create opportunities for self-reflections aournd purpose, social connection, physical well-being and financial well-being Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – You can find Ryan Frederick at ryan@smartliving360.com  - You can take the Right Place assessment at www.smartliving360.com 

Remember when we were told to start saving early and to pay ourselves first? Well, those days are past. Now we have what we have and we have to figure out to make the best financial decisions about our future based on what we have today. In my discussion with Quintin Pile, CFP, we covered a lot of territory that someone preparing for another 20-30 years of life after full time work, needs to think about. We talked about cash flow, various insurance considerations, home ownership, debt, and inflation mitigation. Everyone's situation is going to be unique and talking with an expert is advised. This episode will give you a good starting point to think about your goals and the questions you want to ask when interviewing financial planners. Episode Takeaways: 1. Implications of taking social security at full retirement age or delaying it. 2. How to think about mortgage debt when interest rates are so low. 3. Be clear about your goals when you meet with a financial planner. 4. Interview multiple planners on your retirement planning journey, Thanks so much for listening. Subscribe on Apple Podcast, Stitcher , Google Podcast. or Spotify Follow up on Facebook and Instagram You can email me with questions or comments at wendy@heyboomer.biz – Support the work that Hey, Boomer is doing through buymeacoffee.com/HeyBoomer0413  – You can find Quintin at qpile@greenwoodcapital.com   - Rate the show on Podchaser where they are contributing .25 for every review to World Central Kitchen's work in Ukraine.