Drop the BS w/ Dr. Kirleen

Welcome to season six on Drop the BS podcast, where we dive deep into the delicate threads of family dynamics. In today's episode, we unravel the powerful narrative of forgiveness and healing, especially when family wounds cast a shadow over the joyous holiday season.Here's the episode at a glance:[2:35] Stroy from the Couch [08:16] On the Couch Takeaway

Breaking up with a best friend can feel just as painful as splitting up with your partner. And while everyone acknowledges the trauma of romantic breakups, people don't really talk about the fallout of a platonic separation. But the truth is a breakup is a breakup. When you share intimacy, and trust, in a friendship making the decision to dissolve the relationship can be very difficult. So on today show I've brought on one of my besties Frank Baly to dish on this topic we've both had our ups and downs in friendship and I hope our perspectives helps you navigate the choppy water of breaking up with a bestie.Similar Episodes:87: Feeling Unheard and Unseen in Relationships?Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The ShowFrank Baly www.frankabaly.comNeely Counseling www.neelycounseling.comPsychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/usDrop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

Breaking up with a best friend can feel just as painful as splitting up with your partner. And while everyone acknowledges the trauma of romantic breakups, people don't really talk about the fallout of a platonic separation. But the truth is a breakup is a breakup. When you share intimacy, and trust, in a friendship making the decision to dissolve the relationship can be very difficult. So on today show I've brought on one of my besties Frank Baly to dish on this topic we've both had our ups and downs in friendship and I hope our perspectives helps you navigate the choppy water of breaking up with a bestie.Similar Episodes:87: Feeling Unheard and Unseen in Relationships?Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The ShowFrank Baly www.frankabaly.comNeely Counseling www.neelycounseling.comPsychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/usDrop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

In Episode 99, Pt. 2, we continue to unravel the Love Language Paradox: I dive into the dos and don'ts of how to effectively use love languages. You will leave this episode ready to love and live from a new perspective.Similar Episodes 79: Should You Consider Couples Counseling? w/Dr. Kimberly VanBuren 57: Heal Relationship Disconnects w/Third Layer Conversations Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The ShowLove Language Test: https://5lovelanguages.com/Neely Counseling www.neelycounseling.comPsychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/usDrop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

Odds are, you've heard of the five love five languages by now, and you may even have proclaimed out loud that your love language is physical touch, quality time, or one of the five. But in my work as a therapist, I find that people are missing the real magic behind what makes love languages a powerful concept and maybe misunderstand the original intent. Three decades ago, Gary Chapman, a 50-year-old Southern Baptist pastor with a doctorate in adult education, introduced the concept to the world with his seminal book, "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts." In our two-part series, we are going to break down how to effectively utilize the five love languages to give and receive the love you deserve.Similar Episodes 79: Should You Consider Couples Counseling? w/Dr. Kimberly VanBuren 57: Heal Relationship Disconnects w/Third Layer Conversations Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The ShowLove Language Test: https://5lovelanguages.com/Neely Counseling www.neelycounseling.comPsychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/usDrop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

If you know me, then you know that I am seriously a big fan of therapy. I might be a little biased as a therapist, but the truth is I am a big fan because I have seen firsthand the ability therapy has to transform lives. I have seen marriages saved, depression lifted, and teens get back on track with their life. However, I do understand that there may be a period in time when going to therapy is just not possible. Whether it is because of finances, time, or maybe you simply aren't ready. So, on today's show, I am going to share some simple self-help tools you can use in between therapy sessions. Here's a glance at this episode: [3:35] Disclaimer [4:16] Tip #1: Journaling[7:56] Prompt examples[17:30] Tip #2: Work on disrupting your thoughts. [19:10] Put your thoughts on trial.[25:33] Toolbox Takeaway Similar Episodes:Episode 55: Dump the Inner Critic EpisodeEpisode 51: Are you considering therapy?Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The ShowNeely Counseling www.neelycounseling.comPsychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/usDrop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

It's challenging to help a loved one struggling with any type of addiction. Sometimes direct, heart-to-heart conversation can lead to arguments, lies, and denial. Family and friends are often unsure of whether what they are dealing with is really an addiction or just misuse. The bottom line is seeing someone you love spiral into what you think is addiction is scary and can have emotional and psychological ramifications for everyone. In Episode 96, to help me explore this topic I've brough in Aaron Ballesteros, Licensed Professional Counselor. He has a passion for substance abuse work and shares some nuggets of wisdom on this episode. Substance abuse and substance misuse are often thought to be the same, but they have different meanings. Someone who delas with substance abuse means that they are intentionally using the drug in an unhealthy and illegal way. Whereas substance misuse is using or taking medicine in a way it was not intended to do so. According to the National Center for Drug Abuse Statistics (NCDAS), 21.4% of people who are 12 and over have used illegal drugs or misused prescription drugs within the last year. However, it was also discovered that the drug use among people aged 12 and over is down 0.4% year-over-year.Similar Episodes: Episode 83: Should You Use Medication to Manage Your Mental Health? w/ Dr. Kim Episode 77: Stress Management 101 Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast.Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show Aaron Ballesteros https://www.instagram.com/counseloraaron/?hl=enAaron Ballesterso https://www.tiktok.com/@counseloraaron?lang=enNeely Counseling www.neelycounseling.comPsychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/usDrop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

It is never easy when someone you know personally puts a label on you, like saying, “you're so controlling.” Initially, you might think this person is just hating on you, but if you hear this from multiple people, you may begin to wonder if there is any truth to what they are saying. Controlling behaviors can be incredibly detrimental to any relationship and may have deep emotional roots. In many instances, you may not realize that your actions come across as controlling. So, on today's show, we will explore red flags that you may be a control freak and identify strategies to help you move through life with more ease and less control. Many times, being a control freak can create other issues within yourself, like increased anxiety or even severe self-criticism. It is important to be self-aware and recognize the signs before it is too late and you have damaged your relationship with others. Here's a glance at this episode:[2:50] Level Set: Are you controlling? [5:20] What are the subtle ways you may be a control freak?[17:28] Understanding why you are controlling[21:30] What you can do about it?[35:21] Toolbox TakeawaySimilar Episodes: Episode 94: Hurt People Hurt People: How to Handle Passive Aggressive Individuals Episode 91: Healing Childhood Trauma As An Adult w/ Maira HolzmannRate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast.Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show Neely Counseling www.neelycounseling.comPsychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/usDrop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

Do you have someone in your life that it's hard to have a simple conversation about what you feel or over a concern you may be having? Every time you try to explain what you feel, they take it the wrong way, won't accept responsibility for their actions, or just plain act out. When this happens, you may find yourself caught in the web of their dysfunctional communication style. Before you know it, you're upset, yelling, screaming, and wondering how in the heck did you get here. In many cases, these individuals are acting out of pain and trauma, and like the old saying goes, “hurt people, hurt people". When someone has experienced trauma or emotional pain, it can affect how they perceive and interact with the world around them and lead them to use defense mechanisms. A defense mechanism is an unconscious strategy that people use to protect themselves from anxious thoughts or feelings. On today's show, we're going to look at several common defense mechanisms that hurt people use. My hope is that getting the inside scoop on these behaviors will help you avoid the web of dysfunction and be able to approach difficult conversations with empathy and understanding.Here's a glance at this episode:[4:38 ] What is a defense mechanism?[6:28 ] Top 3 Defense Mechanisms[15:55] Toolbox TakeawaySimilar Episodes:Episode53: Emotional Baggage Drop OffEpisode80: Using Emotional Intelligence to Resolve Conflict and Keep YourCool w/ Doug NollRate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts:Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support morepeople -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better todaystory. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Writea Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about theepisode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast.Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:Neely Counseling www.neelycounseling.comPsychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/usDrop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

It has become commonplace for people to use mental health conditions asdramatic labels for aspects of everyday life. Expressions like, "OMG, she'sso bipolar" and "I'm so OCD right now" have become a part of everydayconversations. While most people are just trying to describe what they feelat any given moment, this language may minimize the seriousness of theseconditions, create confusion, and leave people who truly struggle feeling unseen.As mental health has taken center stage in recent years, it's timeto truly put some thought into the way we talk about our mental health.So, on today's show, I've invited board-certified psychiatrist Dr. JamesFuqua to dive into the truth about Bipolar Disorder, its signs, andtreatment options available.Here's a glance at this episode:[4:24] What Is Bipolar Disorder?[12:19] What Are The Causes?[19:41] Toolbox TakeawaySimilar Episodes:Episode 28: Do You Have Trouble Focusing? You Could Have Adult ADHDEpisode 31: Winning With the Cards You've Been DealtRate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts:Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support morepeople -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better todaystory. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Writea Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about theepisode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast.Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:Dr. James Fuqua's www.ventanamentalhealth.comDrop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

There are certain seasons in life where it may feel like there is nosolution to your problem. You've used every trick in the book, but therelationship, situation, or circumstance just isn't changing. Maybe you'vebeen caring for a sick family member, or you are stuck in a dead relationship. You've cried, talked, prayed about it, and then talked about it again. These situations can leave us feeling overwhelmed, bitter, numb, and even exhausted despite getting a good night's sleep. On today's show, I'd like you to join me as I create space for us to discuss these complicated emotions and look for viable solutions to move throughthem.Here's a glance at this episode:[5:20] How Do We Move Through This Feeling?[11:51] Grow, Keep, and Throw[21:20] Toolbox TakeawaySimilar Episodes:Episode 69: What Lesson Is Life Trying To Teach You?Episode 73: Have You Been Easily Irritated Lately?Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts:Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support morepeople -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better todaystory. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Writea Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about theepisode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast.Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:Neely Counseling Center Drop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

I have heard countless people describe growing up in homes where they knew their parents cared about them, but many of the words, actions, and behaviors left them with wounds to deal with in adulthood. These wounds and traumas show up in adulthood in many ways, such as in patterns of settling for relationships that don't serve you, overthinking everything, and medicating emotions with food, alcohol, and even sex. And while most people try to suck it up and move on, the truth is what you do not deal with finds a way to sneak into how you feel physically, how you live, and how you love. So On today's show, we are going take a look at healing childhood trauma as an adult. And to help us unpack this topic, I've brought Maira Holzmann. She is a licensed therapist, and I think her approach to healing will definitely surprise you.Similar Episodes:Episode 42: Healing from an Unspeakable Experience Episode 40: Dealing with Daddy IssuesRate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts:Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support morepeople -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better todaystory. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Writea Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about theepisode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast.Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:Maira Holzmann LCSWCounseling Services in TexasCounseling Services outside of Texas Drop The BS Facebook Group:

Trust is one of the most essential components of a healthy relationship, andlearning to trust someone again after a betrayal isn't easy.Re-establishing trust takes time, patience, and work, just as it does toestablish it in the first place. Betrayal, such as infidelity, can affect your confidence and peace of mind. The old adage "once a cheater, always a cheater" may also lead you to question if giving your partner a second chance is even worth it. So, on today's show, we're going to dig into the facts and the stats about how likely someone is to cheat again.Here's a glance at this episode:[5:38] If someone cheats, will they do it again?[13:11] Red flags to look for[22:19] Toolbox TakeawaySimilar Episodes:Episode 16: Protecting Your Relationship from Emotional CheatingEpisode 67: Let's Talk Trust IssuesRate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts:Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support morepeople -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better todaystory. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Writea Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about theepisode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast.Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:Article on cheating Counseling Services in TexasCounseling Services outside of Texas Drop The BS Facebook Group:

The year 2022 has been filled with ups and downs for me, and I'm sure many of you feel the same way. One of the things that kept me going this year was the inspiring words of wisdom shared by the guests who came on the show. Their words encouraged me, comforted me, and gave me the tools to move through all the curve balls that life threw my way. So, on today's show, I want to share the best advice and nuggets of inspiration I heard during the 2022 podcast season. We will dive into grief, conflict, playing small, work-life balance, manifestation, and how to reach your full potential. I hope you use this episode as a springboard to launch you into 2023, feeling like you can conquer the world!Here's a glance at this episode:[2:18] Episode 70 on Grief and Difficult Times[6:52] Episode 84 on Quitting Your Job to Save Your Mental Health[11:17] Episode 75 on How to Tap into Your Full Potential Other 2022 Episodes:Episode 77: Stress Management 101Episode 81: Let's Do Some Work On Your BackStory Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts:Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:Drop The BS Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

Dealing with the death of a loved one is never easy, and that grief can be twice as hard during the holidays. Memories serve as constant reminders of loss, and watching others celebrate can be painful and overwhelming. Whether it's a sudden death or because of a long illness, the first holiday after the loss of a loved one changes so many things. While every person deals with death in their own way, the holidays are a time when family gets together. Figuring out what is right for yourself and everyone else can get complicated. Many people worry they'll never enjoy the holidays again, feeling they just want to go away to be alone until the season is over, so on today's show, we'll spend some time discussing how to handle the first holiday after a loss. Here's a glance at this episode:[6:04] Decisions to keep in mind[11:36] How to respond to holiday invitations[18:47] Toolbox Takeaway Similar Episodes:Episode 59: Growing Through Grief w/ Jonathan Pitts Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts:Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:Drop The BS Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

It's a natural human need to want to be seen and heard in the relationships that matter most to you. Unfortunately, many people find themselves in relationships where their concerns, thoughts, feelings, and desires are ignored. This experience can leave you questioning your value, even when you know better. Feeling unheard and unseen can happen in a variety of relationships including with friends, family and in the work setting. On today's show we will unpack the feeling of being unseen and unheard and look at viable solutions to thrive in your relationships. Here's a glance at this episode:[3:56] How do you know if this is really happening?[14:53 ] Specific points you can do when you feel unheard and unseen[25:03] Toolbox Takeaway Similar Episodes:Episode 29: Ready To Stop Giving More Than You're Getting In Relationships?Episode 47: Setting Boundaries Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts:Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:BackStory Masterclass Sign Up: https://neelycounseling.com/bsb-masterclass/Drop The BS Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

Divorce is never easy. Even the people who try their best to have anamicable divorce will tell you it's the hardest thing they've ever done.When issues such as infidelity, resentment, and finances get tossed in,things can get nasty very quickly. And if you haven't been the primarybreadwinner or have been disconnected from household finances, you couldfind yourself not only emotionally, but financially devastated. If you'renavigating divorce, protecting yourself financially is critical to securingyour future.On today's show, I've brought in Tracey Coenen, CPA and Forensic Accountantto help you wade through these muddy waters. I want you to listen up closelybecause she drops some nuggets in this show that I think will help youtremendously.Here's a glance at this episode:[10:48] What is financial infidelity?[22:00] What are the red flags to look out for?[30:19] Toolbox TakeawaySimilar Episodes:Episode 57: Heal Relationship Disconnects w/Third Layer ConversationsEpisode 36: Increasing Connection Not Divorce In QuarantineRate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts:Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support morepeople -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better todaystory. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Writea Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about theepisode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast.Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:Tracey Coenen's Website: https://www.fraudcoach.com/BackStory Masterclass Sign Up:https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

Everyone has challenging thoughts occasionally. But when you start to see the negative in everything, it can leave you feeling bad about yourself, or make you feel hopeless. You may have tried practicing gratitude or being more positive and those things work but can quickly fade away. You don't have to keep living with this mindset. Several techniques can help you look at life through rosier-colored glasses. On this episode of the show, we will look at how to truly change the dialogue you are having with yourself.Here's a glance at the show[4:00] Negative thinking damages your immune system[11:06] How to Move Past Being a Negative Person [22:28] Tool box takeaway Similar Episodes:81: Let's Do Some Work On Your BackStory 77: Stress Management 101 14: How to Stop Overthinking and Feeling Like You're Not Enough Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts:Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support morepeople -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better todaystory. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Writea Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about theepisode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:BackStory Masterclass Sign Up:https://neelycounseling.com/bsb-new-course-site/Drop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

It goes without saying that most of us spend an enormous amount of time and energy in our work setting, whether we work from home or go into an office. So, when our jobs are no longer aligned with our needs, wants, and desires, it can truly impact our mental health. While doing something like quiet-quitting or just checking out may sound appealing, they're notrealistic solutions to move back in alignment.On today's show, I've brought in Misha Rubin. He's the CEO of Leap By Design and helps mid-career professionals, executives, and leaders with initiating meaningful career changes. I know this conversation will be the catalyst you need to find something you love doing and still take care of your mental health. Here's a glance at this episode:[10:05] What's going on in work environments today[16:43] How to know if entrepreneurship is the right thing for you[30:56] Toolbox TakeawaySimilar Episodes:76: Why Are You Still Playing Small? w/ Joy Sutton41: Are You Guilty of Putting Yourself Last on the List? Let's TalkSelf-CareRate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts:Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support morepeople -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better todaystory. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Writea Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about theepisode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:Misha Rubin's website: https://misharubin.com/BackStory Masterclass Sign Up:https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

If you've ever considered using medication to deal with your mental health. Questions about how it may affect your personality or do they even work may have crossed your mind. After all, we have all heard those horror stories about people looking like zombies after taking mental health medication. But what is often not talked about is the thousands of people each year who are able to break free from long-standing mental health issues through the use of medication. On today's show, I've brought in board-certified child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist Dr. UeJin Kim to help us explore using medication to improve your mental health.Here's a glance at this episode:{12:19} Why medications don't work the way we expect at times?{17:56} Using therapy and medication is the key{22:16} Should teens take medication?{28:27} Can medication impact career choice?{30:00} Getting medication from a psychiatrist or primary care what's the difference?{33:23} Common medicines for depression and anxiety{36:06} Tool box takeawayRate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts:Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:Dr. UeJin Kim https://www.restorepsych.com/BackStory Masterclass Sign Up https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

Have you ever been so far in your feelings that you are literally having a conversation with yourself about how someone or something has done your wrong? When we feel pain, betrayal, or hurt, it's easy to get stuck in our feelings. Processing emotions is healthy but staying in our feelings for too long robs us of the present moment and gives people and things power over us that they don't deserve. In this episode, we are going to look at five specific signs that you are stuck in your feelings, and we will also identify tools to help you get out of your feelings into your life. Here's a glance at this episode:[5:53] 5 Specific Signs your stuck in your feelings[14:45] Steps to get out of your feelings[24:43] Toolbox TakeawaySimilar Episodes:70: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff w/ Kristine Carlson27: Six Things Mentally Strong People Don't DoRate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts:Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:BackStory Masterclass Sign Up https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

Have you ever felt like, with everything you've accomplished in your life, you should have more confidence and self-esteem? If you answered YES, you are not alone. Many highly successful individuals struggle with feeling like an imposter. These insecurities often stem from past experiences that have never been worked through. When left unchecked insecurities, can lead to overthinking situations, panic attacks, giving more than you get in relationships, and questioning whether you're good enough. The good news is you can learn how to let go of the insecurities that cause you to feel anxious. In this episode of the podcast, we are going to take a dive into three Backstories that sabotage success and peace of mind. Get a pen and paper because we dig deep in this episode so you can come out on top.Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:BackStory Masterclass Sign Up https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

It seems that conflict is all around us these days, from political discord to conflict on the job, to fights with partners. The interesting thing is if asked, most people would say the one thing we want more than anything else is peace. However, if that's the case, then why does it seem that so many of us are having trouble controlling tempers, comprising, and finding the peace they say they want. Some research would say it's because we have not been taught the power of using emotional intelligence to harness peace. Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. The ability to express and control emotions is essential, but so is the ability to understand, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others. I've brought in Doug Noll to help us dissect this topic. He's a lawyer, speaker, and author, Doug has spent much of his life examining human conflict. His latest book, De-Escalate, helps people resolve deep interpersonal and ideological conflicts. This is a must-listen-to interview. He truly shares nuggets of wisdom.GuestDoug Noll is an award-winning lawyer, mediator, author, teacher, speaker, and trainer who has mediated thousands of conflicts. After serving as a civil trial lawyer for 22 years, Doug is passionate about understanding human conflict. His groundbreaking work in de-escalating anger in potentially violent confrontations has transformed lives everywhere, including in maximum-security prisons. Doug's fourth book, De-Escalate, is now available in four languages. Key Takeaways1. All conflict can be resolved in 90 seconds or less2. We must address the emotions before we address the problem 3. Ignore the words and read the emotion Research on the TopicEmotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, reason, understand, and manage emotion (Cherry, 2020). While some argue that we are born with a set level of emotional intelligence, others argue that it is a skill that can be strengthened with knowledge and practice. Much research points to the latter argument, and programs for social and emotional learning have become standard curriculum in many schools. Gaining a greater understanding of emotional intelligence can have many benefits. Strengthening and understanding emotional intelligence helps you to think before you react to situations, maintain a greater sense of self-awareness, and have more empathy than others. To improve your emotional intelligence, it's important to listen, empathize, and reflect the emotions of those around you as well as yourself. Overall, working to improve your emotional intelligence is beneficial in many, if not all, aspects of life. Want More?Check out episode 72: Exploring Mindfulness, Meditation, and Manifestation with Mahima for more information on keeping your cool in stressful times!Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:Doug Noll https://dougnoll.com/BackStory Masterclass Sign Up https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

Making the choice to go to couples counseling can feel like a very big step. It involves admitting things are not perfect in your relationship which often brings up feelings of failure, blame, and shame. For those who are unfamiliar with the therapeutic process, questions and concerns about couples counseling can limit a couple from seeking assistance. Some may wonder how talking to a complete stranger will help them or if talking about problems in your relationship will only make things worse. While these are common concerns, statistics from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy report a much more positive story; 97% of couples reported getting the help they needed after attending couples counseling. To help you unpack the uncertainty of couples counseling, I have brought in seasoned marriage and family therapist Dr. Kimberly VanBuren. Key Takeaways•Couples need to let go of the need to be “right” and become more focused on having the right outcome. •Relationship dysfunction bleeds into other areas of your life (work, kids, friends). Start the process by talking to your partner about wanting things to be better. •Statics show that 97% couples who go to counseling feel that the process helped their relationship.Mentions: Dr. Kimberly VanBuren https://balancingactlms.com/about/Drop The BS Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/usEAP www.neelyeap.com

Talk therapy and medications are wonderful ways to treat mental health issues. However, there are many other therapeutic avenues that could be beneficial but are often not explored. One such therapeutic approach is the use of Acupuncture. Acupuncture is a form of alternative medicine and a component of traditional Chinese medicine in which thin needles are inserted into the body. Many people swear by Acupuncture's ability to heal physical and emotional trauma. To help us unpack this subject I've brought in trauma-informed licensed acupuncturist Dr. Winnie Wang. Dr. Wang believes that trauma is the root cause of many physical and emotional illnesses, she focuses on releasing trapped emotions in organs and meridians (energy pathways). About Our GuestWinnie Chan Wang is a trauma-informed licensed acupuncturist, Reiki practitioner, shadow worker, and shamanic Tao healer. She is also a professor in Acupuncture at Alhambra Medical University. In her private practice, Winnie honors her clients as divine self-healers, navigating their healing journeys as co-pilots. Winnie combines the medical science of a clinically trained acupuncturist with the spiritual knowledge of a shaman to help her clients process their trauma by channeling source healing energy and guided breathwork. Key TakeawaysYour body keeps the score of mental health "injuries". To deal with your mental health, you have to deal with your physical health.Take the time to listen to your body. Your physical pain could be alerting you to deeper emotional wounds. Physical health problems such as headaches, fatigue, and stomach pain may be indicators of an underlying emotional health problem.Mentions: Dr. Winnie Wang https://mindfulhealingheart.com/Drop The BS Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/usNeely Counseling Center: www.neelycounseling.com

The best part about a good vacation is how it can bring feelings of relaxation, peace of mind, and restoration. For a lot of people, however, those feelings are fleeting, and it's not too long till you're planning another vacation just to get a little bit of that peace and happiness again. As a society, we are constantly chasing happiness in the form of a stress-free life, but it always seems just out of reach. We get caught up in work stress, relationship stress, and much more. We may become so stressed that we start to feel depressed, anxious, or burnt out. Stress really does seem inevitable most times. However, the research on happiness and stress shows there is a way to live a life that is less stressful. On today's show, we're going to look at practical and research-based ways to reduce stress so you can live a happier life.Key TakeawaysIt's essential to cultivate a mindset of happiness, no matter the circumstances. Doing this changes the lens in which you see the world, leading to less stress and more positivity. Make a conscious effort to be kind. This improves the day of those you are kind to as well as your own, leading to reduced negativity in your life. Create daily practices. Have a routine of things to help you stay focused throughout the day while reducing stress. Episode Moments/Quotes 5:38 - “Throw out the idea, the thought, that has probably been planted in your head, that success precedes happiness.” -Dr. Neely 7:01 - “Success is a moving target. We have to ground our level of stress and how we manage it in something that we have control of.” -Dr. Neely 10:28 - Exercise about the importance of mindset in relation to stress. 16:07 - “We pick up negative emotions like secondhand smoke.” -Dr. Neely.Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:Drop The BS Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/usNeely Counseling Center: www.neelycounseling.comBook-The One Thing https://the1thing.com/Shawn Anchor https://www.shawnachor.com/

We often dismiss what we want in life in order to maintain a present moment illusion of security, acceptance, or control. We may know that we are playing small yet continue to do so to keep the illusion. Why do we do this? Maybe it's imposter syndrome, anxiety or the fear of the unknown. Whatever the root cause playing small limits our potential and holds us back from success. Recognizing your gift, your dreams, and your goals while doing whatever it takes to reach them is essential to living your best life. About Our GuestJoy Sutton is a former TV journalist and current talk show host. Joy is a master communicator with over 20 years of media experience. She's been engaging audiences as far back as she can remember. Her talk show interviews have made national headlines with features in People magazine, Daily Mail, and E!. Joy is also a certified life coach and media coach. In 2011, Joy launched her own show, “The Joy Sutton Show”. The show aired for four seasons before relaunching in 2020 as an inspirational podcast. She also hosts “Addiction Talk”, a Facebook live show. Key Takeaways · “If you believe it's true, it's true for you” -Joy Sutton. Believing in yourself and changing your mindset are essential to success. · Pay attention to the small things that happen in your life. Follow the path they lead you on and take advantage of experiences and opportunities.· Focus on your gift and what you want to accomplish rather than a specific route to get there. There is more than one vehicle that will lead you to your destination. Episode Moments/Quotes 8:35 - Joy Sutton's backstory of no limitations and perseverance.12:36 - “If you have a gift, it's gonna show up. It doesn't have to be perfect. It can be messy, it can take you a while to get there.” -Joy Sutton15:00 - How Joy Sutton stopped playing small and pulled herself out of a dark time. “Who you put around you makes all the difference.” -Joy Sutton21:20 - It takes time to balance your life. Experiment with different what-ifs and keep moving forward. 28:01 - “You can't stop thinking a thought, but you can replace a thought.” -Joy SuttonResources/Things Mentioned During The Show:Drop The BS Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/usNeely Counseling Center: www.neelycounseling.com

Do you feel like where you are at in life is where you're supposed to be? I ask this a lot in therapy, and very few people can say they have achieved their true potential in life. The distance between where you are at and where you want to be is usually filled with lost dreams, disappointment, and feelings of regret. We let other people's dreams get in the way or we let life circumstances derail us. We may forget why we started out on a dream in the first place. We end up just surviving instead of thriving, not truly living out our purpose in life. In this episode of the podcast, we are going to explore the secrets to unlocking your true potential. This is not a feel-good conversation, you will get pushed in this episode to unlock what's been holding you back. Key Takeaways•The space between where you are at now and where your dreams are is likely filled with excuses, not reasons. Target those excuses and come up with a plan to overcome them and look towards opportunities. •You must continuously reframe the lies your mind tells you. Just because you may not currently have what you need to succeed doesn't mean you can't work towards it one step at a time.•Take this podcast as a starting point to revive your dreams. Go through the exercise, recognize your dream and your excuses, and start forward on a plan to succeed. Episode Moments/Quotes 5:48 - Dr. Neely starts walking you through an exercise to recognize your unfulfilled potential8:40 - “Excuses have a way of tricking us that they are the truth.” -Dr. Neely13:34 - “Words are powerful. The words you tell yourself, the story, the narrative that is in your head has the power to determine your direction.” -Dr. Neely Research on the TopicResearch by Professor Joanne Dickson at Edith Cowan University shows that failing to progress towards our goals is not as harmful as the tendency we have to ruminate, or overthink, our lack of progress. She explains that our ideal self is who we ideally want to be and our ought self is who we believe we ought to be based on responsibilities, obligations, and more. She states, “our findings showed that perceiving one's hopes and wishes as unfulfilled and the loss of desired positive outcomes increases emotional vulnerability and psychological distress”. We need to be kind to ourselves and keep our self-guides in perspective”. Want More?Check out episode 69: What Lesson is Life Trying to Teach You? for more information on what may be holding you back from your potential. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:Drop The BS Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/usNeely Counseling Center: www.neelycounseling.com

When a relationship turns abusive, it is one of the most devastating experiences. Shame, embarrassment, and self-blame often keep victims from seeking help. Abuse, also known as domestic violence, when in a household and/or intimate partner violence when within a couple, can come in varying forms; physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, and financial. Regardless of the type, domestic violence can have life or death consequences for the victim as well as for the children in the home. To help unpack this topic, I brought on licensed professional counselor, Natalia Garcia-Moreno. Natalia worked in a domestic violence shelter for women and children, helping them to restore peace after violence in the home.Key TakeawaysAbuse can happen to anyone. You are not alone and there is help for you.Learning to identify red flags in relationships can save you from getting caught up in the cycle of abuse. Getting out of an abusive situation is possible. Your past does not have to define your future. Episode Moments/Quotes12:50 - What is the cycle of abuse?19:35 - “They feel that they deserved the abuse, that no one else can love them because of what they have been through, they think it's okay to be treated that way” -Natalia26:40 - What to do if you feel that you are in an abusive situation, how do you protect your children?Want More?Check out episode 71: Dealing With Boundary Breakers and episode and 45: Self Esteem - Let's Tackle This Monster Resources/ Things Mentioned During the Show:1. Natalie Moreno Garcia www.neelycounseling.com/counselors / 210-523-4200Domestic Violence Website: https://www.thehotline.org/2.Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-72333.Crisis hotline in SA TX- 210-733-8810 Family Violence Prevention4.Services5.Local shelters in your area for resources—albergues locales en su area6.que les puedan proveer recursos

Why am I so easily irritated? Where does my irritability come from? These are some questions that may roll around your mind if you find yourself snapping at your loved ones, yelling at your dog, or experiencing road rage. Irritability is an instinctual reaction to feeling overwhelmed. There's often a root cause for this irritability whether that be physical or emotional. Determining why you are experiencing irritability is incredibly important to be able to move past it. On today's show we're going to dig deep to find what that cause is and leave you with concrete strategies to put you back in control of your emotions. Key Takeaways1. Many times, irritability may be due to various physical issues. Make sure to check in with your doctor! 2. Take a bottom-up approach to irritability. Utilize tools to calm your mind and body down.3. Make a mindset shift through reframing. You control your thoughts; it's incredibly important to challenge your cognitive distortions. Episode Moments/Quotes4:36 - “You are connected to your body, so what you are thinking, what you are feeling, shows up in your body” -Dr. Neely addresses physical reasons for irritability11:05 - Dr. Neely explains some common psychological reasons for irritability. 14:58 - “You got this. There is nothing that is in front of you that you can't move through. You have to recognize it, put it in check, and you have to do the work” -Dr. Neely16:00 - Tools to help you in the moment while dealing with irritability.Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

In the last few years, meditation, mindfulness, and manifestation seem to be the buzzwords used to talk about mental wellness. Many have gravitated towards and practiced these concepts, but many others are still a bit skeptical. Emerging research, however, has shown that these practices can have many benefits. To help explore and understand this topic a bit better, I brought in mindfulness expert Mahima.For over two decades Mahima has worked with thousands of people around the globe to develop The Mahima Mindset. It is created to clarify purpose and vision. Mahima believes that discovering your genius is a game changer that will allow you to set the right priorities, learn to say no, effectively manage your workload by overcoming exhaustion, distraction and lack of confidence. She is Europe's number one self mastery mentor, mindset trainer, international bestselling author, award winning speaker, and founder of the Mahima Mindset.Episode Moments/Quotes 20:04 - Mahima explains her transition from fear-based religion to her fearless mindset rooted in meditation 28:25 - Mahima distinguishes and explains mindfulness, meditation, and manifestation29:50 - “The power of manifestation is to understand those core belief systems, and reprogram them” -Mahima 37:45 - There are many things that hold us back from moving forward; Mahima explains how to make the jump when you're struggling 42:56 - Mahima talks about and guides us through meditationResources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Mahima https://themahimamindset.com/Drop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

It's inevitable that at some point in life, you will run into someone who is a boundary breaker. Boundaries can be created around various things, like time, space, money, and even energy. Without boundaries, you may feel like you are being taken advantage of or overlooked. In today's show, we will identify the various tactics boundary breakers use and look at tools you can use to teach boundary breakers how to stay in their lane. Key Takeaways•Boundary breakers are a big deal. Boundaries are your personal space, and you deserve to have control over that space.•Boundary breakers come in all forms; spouse, boss, child, friend. Someone's relationship to you doesn't excuse them from breaking boundaries.•Know yourself. Know what tactics you fall for and who are the reoccurring boundary breakers in your life.Episode Moments/Quotes6:21 - “Once you recognize something, you have the ability to control it” -Dr. Neely16:48 - Remember that not all people who exhibit behavior of boundary breakers are. They become a boundary breaker when it's a pattern of behavior. 18:50 - Tools to tackle boundary breakers. 19:20 - “Sometimes conflict is a pathway to peace” -Dr. NeelyWant More?Check out episode 64: Six Ways to Stop Approval Seeking for more information about this topic!Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Drop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

On today's Drop the BS podcast episode, I am joined by New York Times Best-Selling Author Kristine Carlson, co-author of the “Don't Sweat the Small Stuff” series. She has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, The View, and The Today Show. Her life story has recently been turned into a Lifetime movie, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff: The Kristine Carlson Story". Kristin walks us through her life story of how pain and loss has transformed her into living her best today story. She discusses her struggle to heal an eating disorder, her college experience, her marriage to the late Dr. Richard Carlson, and the unexpected loss of his life. Despite these challenges, Kristine learned how to accept the gifts from grief and find strength in her pain and now utilizes her experiences to become a light for many women going through difficult changes in their lives.Episode Moments/Quotes2:33 Introduction of Kristine Carlson28:04 “There's so many gifts from grief and gifts from that time period.” -Kristine Carlson28: 34 “When your ego is shattered what's really amazing is that you actually get to emerge”. -Kristine Carlson28:47 “If you sit quietly and you feel yourself in a moment, you start to realize that you're not holding life, you're living it.” -Kristine Carlson31:28 “So many people pull back and hold within and what you hold within ends up eating you.” -Dr. NeelyResources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Kristin Carlson https://kristinecarlson.com/Life Time Movie-https://www.mylifetime.com/movies/dont-sweat-the-small-stuff-the-kristine-carlson-storyHeart Broken Open-https://kristinecarlson.com/heartbroken-open-book/Neely EAP neelyeap.com Drop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Have you ever felt like no matter how busy you are during the day, you never get as much done as you had hoped? It may feel like you're running in place, and your destination keeps getting pushed further and further away. When we feel like this, life may be trying to tell us that something else is going on that we might not be dealing with or managing very well. We may be burnt out from our job, shoving our emotions in the closet, or taking on too many projects at once. In today's episode, I am going to share a process that will help you figure out what life is trying to teach you. Key Takeaways1. The busyness of life often sabotages our ability to understand what we really need to do to move forward.2. There is a process that you can use to quiet the noise, figure out what life is trying to tell you, and ultimately get the things done that really matter. Episode Moments/Quotes 4:22 Dr. Neely shares an exercise to help you get still and figure out what life is trying to teach you. 8:12 Dr. Neely discusses the key question you need to ask yourself in order to reveal your inner emotions Want More?Also, check out episode 23: Unfulfilled Potential: What Dream Do You Need to Revive?. In this episode, Dr. Neely talks about how we may set aside dreams or goals and never revisit them. It's important to look back on those dreams and revive the ones that may help you in moving forward in your life.Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Show Handout https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/da5c4ee63bNeely EAP neelyeap.com Drop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Sweetbread, cakes, and ham with a side of hot pepper sauce were the smells that overwhelmed my West Indian home as a child during the holidays. I could indulge in these delicacies without a second thought. As an adult, however, holiday eating can be a real challenge while trying to improve my health. There's this battle between wanting to enjoy food, family and friends during the holiday but not blow the progress I've made with my health. Many of us face this challenge, and this can lead us on the cycle of chronic dieting followed by shame and blame. To help us through the holiday eating maze I've brought in renowned dietician Camille Martin. Camille Martin is a registered dietitian, public health writer, and former chronic dieter. She's dedicated to helping women quit dieting, set bigger and better goals, reclaim their excitement for life — and lose weight in the process. Key Takeaways1. Issues with food often become issues with mental health. When you're worried about food and what it does to your body, you become over-critical of yourself and this can lead to eating disorders, depression, and sleep issues to name a few.2. Allow yourself to enjoy the holidays! Don't stress about eating too much. Allow yourself to have fun and enjoy a bit more food than you normally would. Focusing on how much you're eating can lead you to eating too much or not enough.3. It's important to change the way you talk about yourself. What you think and feel will eventually translate into your physical appearance. Learn to be at peace with yourself and it will translate to your body in a positive way. Episode Moments/Quotes 3:03 - Introduction of Camille Martin13:23 - “When we allow ourselves to lose control in other areas we try to think we're reclaiming it with food, but we are actually doing more damage to ourselves” -Dr. Neely15:50 - Why and how Camille Martin broke her diet cycle 24: 48 - “The more you attend to your soul and your heart, your body will adjust to match” -Camille Martin34:03 - "It's not about doing to get, it's about feeling to become." Research on the TopicEmotional eating, as described by Psychology today, is the combination of stress and hunger. They explain that hunger can be normal hunger or hunger based on feelings, and that feelings of stress are often associated with feelings of hunger. Combine this with the stress of the holiday and emotional eating can sometimes get out of hand. When it does, we shame ourselves for the food we've eaten and the weight we've gained and force ourselves to follow crazy diets. This can add more stress, which in turn creates a cycle of eating, shame, and diet. Check out the link below for more information about emotional eating! Want More?Check out episode 63: Emotional Eating w/ Dr. Shawn Hondorp. Dr. Neely and Dr. Hondorp dive into what emotional eating is and why diets don't work! Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Camille Martin https://camillemartinrd.com/Drop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

How many times have you heard someone say, “I have trust issues”? It's become such a common cliché to indicate that you've been hurt in the past. Trust issues can wreak serious havoc on your life, and are characterized by fears of betrayal, abandonment, and manipulation. Trust issues can lead to becoming defensive, shutting down, and building higher walls where you should be tearing them down. In today's episode, I hope to shed some light on four tools you can utilize to tackle your trust issues. Key Takeaways · Trust issues are not to be taken lightly. They can be indicative of more serious mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.· Give yourself credit for the progress that you've made emotionally. Our fear of trust is often based on who we were, not who we are today. · Understanding what triggers your trust issues is an important step in knowing how to solve them. Episode Moments/Quotes5:55 “When you place your trust in the people that are supposed to show up big and they don't. It realty begins to shape your psyche.”-Dr. Kirleen 8:40 How to know if you have trust issues. 19:34 Four tools you can use to put trust issues behind you. Research on the TopicAn article titled “Trust” published by Psychology Today explains that a successful relationship of any kind relies on trust. People who trust each other can communicate more effectively, work together more efficiently, and build close relationships that can reduce feelings of depression and anxiety, among many others. It creates the possibility for greater success than one could achieve alone, allows for a sense of security and even a greater sense of self. Check out the link below for more information!Want More?Check out episode 40 “Dealing with Daddy Issues.” This episode will help you explore some of the issues from the past that may be affecting how you trust others today. Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Drop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

When passion and Intimacy are lost in a relationship, it can be devastating. When I work with couples struggling with Intimacy, it has often been months or years since they've had physical touch. To the outside world, everything may seem completely normal, but most of the time, I can see in their eyes that they truly want to connect again. The problem is they don't know how to find that spark again. Because of this, I've brought in an intimate marriage expert, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell. For over two decades, she has been guiding men and women to bring pleasure and purpose back into all aspects of life.Main Points •The key to a fantastic relationship is each partner takes 100% responsibility for the success of the relationship.•It is important to evaluate your relationship and the feelings attached to it; doing so will help you and your partner find common ground to work towards a wonderful and intimate relationship.•Increasing Intimacy starts with learning to be kind and passionate with yourself. Episode Moments/Quotes4:30 Dr. Stockwell shares her backstory19:43 Dr. Stockwell talks about bringing the erotic into everyday life27:19 “If you want to feel great, you have to be willing to feel” -Dr. Stockwell37:11 When the low desire partner is a woman it's quite likely that she does not even know what's possible in terms in how good it can feel” - Dr. Stockwell Research On the TopicThe Family Institute of Northwestern University (2018) describes both physical and emotional benefits to physical touch; reduced levels of cortisol (the stress hormone), decreased heart rate and blood pressure, a sense of acceptance, and being cared for. They further explain that physical touch can become even more important in relationships that have little to no sex because physical touch leads to more Intimacy. Check out the link below for more information about this topic!Want More?Check out episode 57: Heal Relationship Disconnects w/Third Layer for more information on rebuilding relationships!Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Dr. Alexandra Stockwell https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/Drop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Most of us have a desire to be GREAT at something, whether it's writing a book, launching a business, or having a successful relationship. But the distance between being okay and great is usually filled with obstacles like fear of success, analysis paralysis, and the ever so sneaking procrastination monster. One major reason we fail to achieve our goals is because we fail to anticipate resistance. Sources of resistance usually are within your control. You can anticipate them, minimize their impact, and take tangible actions. On today's show we will explore how anticipating resistance may be the key to moving our goals over the finish line.Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Back Story Master Class Enroll https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Have you ever heard someone say, "I don't' care what anyone thinks of me," but a lot of that person's actions scream that they do care? As humans, we are hard-wired to seek approval. It's like there is an unspoken belief that unless people approve of you, your worthless. There are real-life consequences for approval seeking, consequences that impact relationships, career, and your peace of mind. Approval-seeking behavior is intended to get more approval and respect from others, yet what people generally respect are people who are true to themselves. It is nice to have the approval of others, but the way to get it is to have self-approval and self-respect. On today's show, we will look at six tools you can use to break the approval-seeking cycle.Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Back Story Master Class Enroll https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

During our weakest, most stressful moments, many of us find ourselves staring into the fridge or pantry for comfort. Feeding our feelings is a common coping response to life stressors. In fact, 38% of adults admit to overeating or eating unhealthy foods due to stress. Using food to suppress or calm negative emotions is a temporary, short-term solution that does little to address the actual problem and wreaks havoc on weight loss goals. In addition, emotional eating often hides emotions and thoughts that are out of our awareness but still motivate many of our actions. Self-defeating behaviors, such as emotional eating might not make sense on the surface, but there is usually an underlying explanation. On today's show I've brought in an expert in the area of emotional eating. Health psychologist Dr. Shawn Hondorp will shed some light on this difficult issue and leave you with some inspiration on how to live and eat better.Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Back Story Master Class Enroll https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Do you have someone in your life that you absolutely love and want to keep in your life, but aspects of their personality drive you up the wall? Things like being manipulative, jealous, too needy, controlling, or always wanting to debate everything. Some of the most difficult personality types can be people closes to us; parents, children, spouses, or even a best friend. On today's show, we are going to explore tools to help you love the difficult personality types in your life without losing your mind. Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Back Story Master Class Enroll https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

I'm not a fan of labels because every person on earth has unique quirks and traits. That's why it's a little bothersome that the label of "narcissist" is being thrown around left and right these days. Social media posts like "Are you married to a narcissist?" or "How to get over a narcissist" are everywhere. Overusing the term can be to the detriment of real victims and slander ordinary people dealing with challenging personalities. Statistics show that only 0.5% of people in the US have this disorder. There are many other personality disorders that may account for the difficult people we encounter. On today's show, we'll explore another personality type that may be responsible for some of the complicated relationships we face.Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Back Story Master Class Enroll https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607abDrop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

We've remixed one of our most popular episodes related to self-sabotage to give you a second dose of inspiration. If you've ever had those moments where you're in a loop of negative thoughts that all go back to how you're not good enough, this remix is for you. Sometimes these loops are triggered by a significant disappointment and other times, it's the smallest event that starts the domino of thought. You may have tried to fix these negative feelings with positive affirmations or changing your self-talk only to find that the loop of negative thinking comes right back.In this episode of Drop the BS Podcast, we are getting to the root of why so many of us are struggling with feeling like we are not good enough. Resources/ Things Mentioned During The Show:Drop The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

I'm almost certain that there is not one person who has lived through the last year who has not experienced some level of grief and loss. Whether it is a consequence of the pandemic, or another life altering event, it seems that grief has become truly unavoidable. Grief can take a significant emotional toll, especially in the earliest days. Things you could have managed before your loss feel insurmountable. But grief is a natural response to loss and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. The key is learning how to thrive and grow through grief. On today's show, I'm joined by Jonathan Pitts author, speaker, and executive pastor. Jonathan will share what he's learned about moving through loss after the sudden death of his wife Wynter. If you've been struggling to find meaning after loss, I think this show will be a step in the right direction.Mentioned during the show/resources:Jonathan Pitts https://jonathanpitts.net/Employee Assistance Program (EAP) https://neelycounseling.com/eap-program-overview/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

You may be thinking, what in the heck does my mental health have to do with my money. Well, if you ever engage in retail therapy or feel intense emotions about money, then it’s possible your money and your mental health are doing a dangerous dance. Most of us think that money is about our bank balance. Yes, of course, it is that too, but money is also strongly connected to emotions. The most important emotions in relation to money are fear, guilt, shame, and envy. It’s worth spending some effort to become aware of the emotions that are primarily tied to money for you because it’s estimated that approximately 90% of money decisions are made emotionally.On today's show, I’m joined by Bari Tessler. She’s a financial therapist, author, and founder of The Art of Money, a year-long money school and global community that blends practical financial tools with a nurturing, body-centered approach. Her work has been featured in publications such as Oprah.com, and The Huffington Post. Bari is also the author of the award-winning book, The Art of Money: A Life-Changing Guide to Financial Happiness. Bari drops a wealth of knowledge, practical advice, and guidance in this episode.Mentioned during the show/resources:Bari Tessler https://baritessler.comEmployee Assistance Program (EAP) https://neelycounseling.com/eap-program-overview/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

You may be thinking, what in the heck does my mental health have to do with my money. Well, if you ever engage in retail therapy or feel intense emotions about money, then it’s possible your money and your mental health are doing a dangerous dance. Most of us think that money is about our bank balance. Yes, of course, it is that too, but money is also strongly connected to emotions. The most important emotions in relation to money are fear, guilt, shame, and envy. It’s worth spending some effort to become aware of the emotions that are primarily tied to money for you because it’s estimated that approximately 90% of money decisions are made emotionally.On today's show, I’m joined by Bari Tessler. She’s a financial therapist, author, and founder of The Art of Money, a year-long money school and global community that blends practical financial tools with a nurturing, body-centered approach. Her work has been featured in publications such as Oprah.com, and The Huffington Post. Bari is also the author of the award-winning book, The Art of Money: A Life-Changing Guide to Financial Happiness. Bari drops a wealth of knowledge, practical advice, and guidance in this episode.Mentioned during the show/resources:Bari Tessler https://baritessler.comEmployee Assistance Program (EAP) https://neelycounseling.com/eap-program-overview/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

We all know that the key to any long-lasting healthy relationship is good communication. But yet, time and time again, communication breakdowns are at the center of why people struggle to feel happy and fulfilled in their relationships. What makes this even more puzzling is that most of us believe we are great communicators. Often when couples have a relationship breakdown, they get stuck on trying to be right instead of trying to get the right outcome. While there are several factors that contribute to the success of any relationship, communication skills – or lack thereof – can either help or hinder one’s prospects. On today's show, I will share a relationship communication tool called “third layer conversations” to help you improve communication and restore disconnects in your relationship. You will learn:1.How to use the cycle of connection, disconnection, and reconnection to language communication breakdowns.2. How to use the third layer conversation process to smoothly move through relationship challenges.3. The four ingredients that need to be present for healthy, productive communication to occur.Mentioned during the show/resources:Employee Assistance Program (EAP) https://neelycounseling.com/eap-program-overview/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

One of our most powerful backstories develops from the relationship we have or had with our family of origin. How we think, interact, and react today can so often be traced directly back to experiences with family. Having a close-knit and supportive family can provide emotional support, economic well-being, and increase overall health. However, the opposite is also true. When family life is characterized by stress and conflict, the health of family members is usually negatively affected. Everything from eating disorders to poor self-worth may be an unwanted consequence of unhealthy family dynamics. Learning how to successfully navigate the ups and downs of family life is the key to raising healthy children and maintaining positive personal relationships.On today’s show, I’m joined by licensed clinical social worker and podcaster Megan Gipson. Megan is the host of “The Family Brain” podcast. Her show provides research, resources, tips, and life hacks to help keep the “Family Brain” healthy. In this episode, she shares the top five takeaways she’s learned after hosting one hundred episodes on this topic.Mentioned during the show/resources:The Family Brain Podcast w/Megan Gipson http://familybrainpodcast.comPsychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

Most of us are familiar with those nagging thoughts in the background of our minds that tell us we are not good enough, cast doubt on our goals, and make our accomplishments seem insignificant. These thoughts can sneak their way into our everyday routines to the point that we stop noticing their presence. They might sound like, "you're not that smart" or "you're unattractive." The inner critic can show up at work, while we brush our teeth, and even intrude on our ability to sleep.Our critical inner voice is typically formed from painful life experiences where we were made to feel unworthy. As time passes, we unconsciously accept these negative thoughts as the truth. Breaking up with the inner critic is easier said than done, but with the right tools, it's defiantly possible.On this episode of Drop the BS Podcast, I'll take you through a brief process to kick your inner critic to the curve. You will learn:1. How to recognize when your inner critic is on.2. How to use the power of self-compassion as a strategy.3. How to reframe sabotaging thoughts.Mentioned during the show/resources:Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

I’d love to bottle the feeling of being happy. You know that feeling when everything is easy, your mood is light, and you're full of energy. Unfortunately, life often gets in the way of those happy feelings, and we can find ourselves in a slump. But did you know how you experience happiness boils down to the chemicals in your brain? Happiness, sadness, anger, anxiety – all can be traced to what’s going on inside your head. We no longer have to wait to feel happy we can take control and hack into our happy neurochemicals. Researchers have identified what chemicals control certain moods and what we can do to hack into those chemicals. The key to hacking our happiness chemicals can be found in the seemingly insignificant, mundane things we do every day. Things like getting sun exposure or taking your dog for a walk. These activities give our brain a boost of feel-good chemicals. On today’s show, we will explore how you can hack into your happiness chemicals by using a tool called DOSE. You will leave with concrete tools on how to live a little happier.Mentioned during the show/resources:DOSE hand out https://neelycounseling.com/dose/Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

When it comes to your overall happiness, few forces are more destructive than emotional baggage. It can affect everything from how you show and express love to what you accept as fair pay for work. Emotional baggage is all the little insecurities that manifest over our lifetime as a result of our experiences or upbringing. Many of us focus on the baggage other people bring to the table and minimize our own baggage. The truth is we all have baggage, and this isn't a bad thing, especially if you know how it shows up and how to drop it off.On today’s show, we will explore the top four types of emotional baggage that can impact your level of happiness. You will leave with concrete tools on how to make sure your baggage does not impact you today.Mentioned during the show/resources:www.neelycounseling.comPsychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/The BS Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/