Learned Hands: The Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association

In this very special Hands on Episode, Merry, Clint, and Adriana Lady Counselor of the Summer Isles, Archmaester of Pedantic Sophistry, and Founding Member of the Governor Santiago Singh Appreciation Society cover the second act of the seventh book of the BEST SCI FI SERIES EVER, Persepolis Rising from the Expanse.This episode includes:Adriana tells us why Governor Singh is her favorite character, even if he is a villain who is addicted to making bad decisions.A deep dive into how this book explores the theme of sacrifice, the political, and the personal, and the both. Theorizing about whether or not Singh was set up to fail (SPOILER: yes).Drummer and Avasarala talk about what it means to die for something or die for nothing. It's incredible.Holden absolutely rinses Singh on political philosophy and the importance of choice.Merry highlights the book's focus on how ideology is malleable. Clint gives the appreciation for Saba, Our Revolutionary King.Support the show

In this very first edition of the second season of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint cover the two competing Green and Black Trailers released today for HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - Season 2In this episode:We break down the Black Trailer and the Green Trailer in a fun and excessively detailed but non-spoilery way!Merry hits the important themes of both trailers, how they both deal with patriarchy, choice, and a lack of agency.Clint tries very very hard to make several Blood and Cheese puns. Everyone has BIG FEELS about the parallels between Alicent and Rhaenyra, our two main characters.Jace is on the Wall with CREGAN THEE STALLION which means we are finally getting some Starks, baby!We go in depth rapid fire on the cornucopia of imagery we get from the trailers: Harrenhal, Brackens and Blackwoods, the Golden Tooth, the Conqueror's Crown, Rook's Rest, Moondancer, Seasmoke, Meleys, Sunfyre, Syrax, Vhagar, Caraxes and MFing THE ISLE OF FACES. The spoilery section gets hella, hella spoilery and we speculate on what HotD S2 will bring in depth. Support the show

In this very special Hands on Episode, Merry and Clint cover the first act of the seventh book of the BEST SCI FI SERIES EVER, Persepolis Rising from the Expanse.This episode includes:Merry and Clint get legitimately choked up talking about the themes of family, mercy, humanity, and beauty. Everyone loves to hate (and love) that big idiot Santiago Singh.Clint gets to talk about Thomas Hobbes and the Leviathan, which is both waking and falling in the narrative.Merry goes long on whether punishment ships are a good idea or a bad idea (spoiler: BAD)We pour one out for Camina Drummer and her husband Saba, just the best fucking people.AVASARALA IS IN THIS PART.We give big middle fingers to Laconia, "benevolent dictatorship", and the concept of a non-human collective.Bobbie Draper. That's it. Bobbie Draper.Support the show

In this thirty-ninth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: Did Jon Snow's choice to ride south to Winterfell kill the Night's Watch? What responsibility, if any, does Jon have to maintain constitutional norms and structures?Our analysis this episode includes:We go back to the Wall to discuss what unmakes a government!Discussion of whether Jon's breaking of Nights Watch norms constitutes a crossing of the Rubicon.A dramatic reading of the Shieldhall Speeches with musical accompaniment courtesy LittleWolfBird (find her patreon here)!Merry talking at length about her favorite doomed sad boi and why the show's treatment of the moment was not actually bad.Your Hands debate whether law can be used as a tool to change broken institutions.Clint does some stupid accents and talks about how the Senate sucks (rinse and repeat).Much discussion as to whether or not the Night's Watch was gonna die, and whether they had it comin'.We announce our 2024 dues drive and call for Amicus Curiae!Supplemental reading:Merry's essay: The Last Temptation of Jon Snow Pt. 1, Kill the BoyMerry's essay: The Last Temptation of Jon Snow Pt. 2, The ChoosingAdam Feldman's essay: Jon's Noble Heart and Greater DutyWhy are men obsessed with the Roman Empire?A Lawyer's Role in Contemporary Democracy, ForewardBumpers by Dr. Kavita Mudan Finn. Extensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this special BONUS EPISODE, we give you a recording of Merry & Clint @ Ice and Fire Con 2023 discussing one of their favorite topics: Legal Issues in the Dance of the Dragons! In this bonus recording we cover:Coups!Territorial conquest!The Hour of the Wolf!Primogeniture!The Iron PrecedentAnd more!Merry & Clint also bang their gavels a lot, and Merry makes a joke about blowing her wad. Recording and audio engineering by LittleWolfBird! LWB's Patreon. Support the show

In this thirty-eighth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: How well does Doran Martell's Water Gardens speech move the ball? Our analysis this week includes:Your Hands finally cover the Dornish plot from the perspective of Prince Doran Martell, as he tries to convince the Sand Snakes to stop saying "OK Boomer" at him.Merry puts on her best Valley Girl accent.So much food porn.We give Ellaria Sand her laurels for delivering one of the most passionate, cogent, and beautiful speeches in the series (that is entirely ignored by everyone who hears it).Clint tells everyone what it's like to be an Old Man relating to The Youths.We ask which TSwift album represents the Sand Snakes the most? Sound off in the comments. No one has any idea what will happen to Doran's plan, other than there will be blood.We analyze Doran as the grass that hides the viper, and cover how his disability covers how people perceive him. A DEFINITIVE ruling is issued as to who does the Dornish plot better: book or show. Listen to find out which we pick!Supplemental reading: Adam Feldman's essay series Water Gardens & Blood Oranges, Vol. I.Where to pay your duesPoint MadeExtensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this thirty-seventh episode (in a row?) of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: How does Daenerys's deal with the slavers reflect her methods of persuasion?Our analysis this week includes:Your Hands finally revisit one of the two main characters of the series, Dany, to talk about one of the most thrilling moments of the series: Dracarys!We get amazing input from our listeners as to why this moment is so iconic. Merry introduces the Art of the Trick Fuck to the ASOIAF canon, and guides us all on the various ins and outs, if you were.Clint focuses on why exactly the Good Masters are so thoroughly moronic from the prospect of a merchant and a sovereign, and brings up a very old man war dad comparison: Robert E. Lee. Instead of saying "it depends" like they usually do Learned Hands gives a definitive legal answer(!) as to whether or not Dany committed commercial fraud when she sold Drogon, but you'll have to listen to find out!(...SPOILER: don't think about that questioned with a poisoned lawyer brain, it's really bad for you so just don't do it)(...but ALSO SPOILER: no)CONTENT WARNING: Slavery, child abuse, child murder, animal abuse, animal murder, murder in general, and mentions of Jorah Mormont.BURN THEM ALL DANY, DRACARYS DRACARYS DRACARYSSupplemental reading: Where to pay your duesPoint MadeExtensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In which Your Hands and Special Guest Hand Dr. Shiloh Carroll discuss the 2001 Sports Jousting Epic A KNIGHT'S TALE.In this episode:We talk about Shiloh's new book, The Medieval Worlds of Neil Gaiman, and how you, the listener, can win a FREE SIGNED COPY OF THE BOOK.Your Hands (and Guest) go deep into the wonderfully anachronistic verisimilitude of A Knight's Tale, a film about how naked Geoffrey Chaucer could be at any given moment.Shiloh heaps praise upon the historically accurate bits of the film, oddly assisted in their efforts by the fact that the filmmakers did not give a single shit about accuracy, like not even a little bit. Merry places the movie in its proper context of a film that intentionally and unselfconsciously draws on the media that came before it.Clint talks about Jocelyn's cleavage, and how Kate can GET IT.Everyone loves Robert Baratheon, Steve the Pirate, Mace Tyrell, and Alexander Hamilton.We rank the film against the other great sports movies of all time.Additional readingBUY SHILOH'S BOOK YOU JERKSRagman's Harbour (sic).Join the WBAIntro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this thirty-sixth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: Is Varys's Riddle an effective method of persuasion?Our analysis this week includes:Learned Hands finally does a FULL EPISODE on the Riddle, the thing Clint will never, ever shut up about, ever.Varys est mantainant Français. Vive la France!Merry offers her take on the Riddle as a piece of descriptive, not proscriptive, philosophy.Clint speechifies on shadows on the wall. Gotta play the hits!We evaluate Varys's discussions with Ned Stark, Tyrion Lannister, and Kevan Lannister to try to answer the question: what is his fucking deal bro?Your Hands at long last announce their official position on democracy: it's good (mostly)!Merry beats Clint to an absolutely perfect Black Sails reference. Strap in for just so, so, SO much political philosophy, shots at the Supreme Court, Succession references, and stupid french jokes. Supplemental reading: Where to pay your duesPoint MadeClint's first essay on Varys's RiddleClint on NotACast, ACOK Tyrion IIExtensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this thirty-fifth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: Was anyone at the Kingsmoot any good at political persuasion?Our analysis this week includes:The continuation of our new running series where Your Hands evaluate the persuasive argumentation skills of your favorite and least favorite ASOIAF characters.An overview of all of the reasons why political debates are terrible, awful, no good, really bad times.Merry brings her vast experience with debates and competitive speechifying to bear. What the people demanded and we have provided in spades: Clint does more shitty accents. Your Hands weigh which was more horrifying, the Kingsmoot debates or the 2016 Presidential debates.We enlist the Mighty WBA to lend their voices in support of the various Kingsmoot claimants!Supplemental reading: Where to pay your duesPoint MadeExtensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In which Your Hands go in a deep dive over HBO's niche arthouse property SUCCESSION and why it fucking whips so goddamn hard.This episode includes:Extensive discussion of the Shakespearean roots of this delightfully and depressingly funny show about the absolute worst people in the world.Clint waxes poetic about his favorite ship in all of ships: GregTom,Merry defends Shiv's choices and her wardrobe,Are eyes the windows of the soul or merely face eggs? We may never know.Your Hands Debate the Kendall Question: Does he suck or does he SUCK suck?A reminder that Logan Roy, like Tywin Lannister, Is Dead.Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this thirty-fourth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: Is Renly Baratheon any good at oral (arguments)?Our analysis this week includes:The beginning of a brand new running series where Your Hands evaluate the persuasive argumentation skills of your favorite and least favorite ASOIAF characters.An overview of what makes a good, bad, and indifferent oral argument.Discussion of the Copper King's strengths and weaknesses, including whether he's funny, whether he's smart, and whether he can read a room (SPOILER: no).PEACH SPEECH PEACH SPEECH PEACH SPEECHYour Hands give their extensive oral resumes. Not like that, pervs.Thorough discussion on Renly's talks with Ned, Cat, and Stannis.A Special Guest Renly Hater weighs in to say why he isn't as good as Stannis, and yes it's Frank. Renly is Luigi. Search your heart, you know it to be true.Supplemental reading: Where to pay your duesPoint MadeBumpers and extensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this thirty-third episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: What are the horizontal Separations of Powers that exist in Westeros? What similarities exist between the Seven Kingdoms and the US Federal Government? What the hell does the Master of Laws even do?????Our analysis this week includes:Your Hands run down the origins and duties of all of the various Hands, Masters, Maesters, Ministers, Protectors, Guards, and officers that make up the Westerosi Central Government.We also give the Official Learned Hands Guess on what the Master of Laws actually does.Merry does what can charitably be described as the worst French accent of all time.Clint continues his debate with James Madison, America's daintiest autocrat.Extensive digressions on disaster bisexual Alexander Hamilton, the nondelegation doctrine, and Dick Cheney aka irl Tywin Lannister.Discussion of how the Faith and the Citadel play into checks and balances and separations of powers.We also update the WBA 2023 Dues Donation Drive which is ON NOW (PAY YOUR DUES)Supplemental reading: Where do pay your duesFederalist 47, and other Federalist Papers to read at your leisure.Learn other fun and interesting facts about James MadisonBumpers by Ser Ethan the Bookish.  Extensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. . None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this thirty-second episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: Is the Seven Kingdoms a Federalist System? Which has more power, a US State or a Westerosi Realm?Our analysis this week includes:The Westerosi Seven Kingdoms are compared and contrasted with real-life federal and confederate systems back to antiquity.Your hosts have some strong words to say about James Madison, effete dork, slavery enthusiast, and the only US president to allow Canada to burn the Capitol to cinders.We evaluate the good-government bona fides of Aegon the Conquerer, Maegor the Cruel, Jaehaerys the Conciliator,  Good Queen Alysanne, Septon Barth, and others. Clint gets so amped up to talk about Federalist Papers that you can hear him vibrating with sheer glee.Maester Merry squares off in a LAWYER FIGHT against her greatest ever foe: Maester Merry.Answers to your questions about federal taxes, customs, minting, and central banking!The return of burrito analogies to explain things like the Anti-Commandeering Doctrine, the Dormant Commerce Clause, Field Preemption, and Younger Abstention (we are sorry, this is a lot). We finally update on the WBA 2023 Dues Donation Drive which is ON NOW (PAY YOUR DUES)Supplemental reading: Where do pay your duesFederalist 45, and other Federalist Papers to read at your leisure.Cold Open and Bumpers by Jimi and Ray.  Extensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. Cold Open music composer Nico Maximilian, Audio source: Jamendo. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this VERY SPECIAL YEAR END EPISODE, Merry and Clint give you a rundown of all of the damage 2022 hath wrought and preview the New Year's Content.In this episode we:Take stock of the WBA, our podcast, our lives, and the world in general.Liberally rip off other better podcasts.Sing the praise of Secret Satin Lay out a roadmap of Learned Hands and the WBA for 2023Hit the highlights of 2022 in the world of television, with special shout outs to Better Call Saul, The White Lotus, The Old Man, and more.Do FMK for both Merry & Clint's Main Celebrity Crushes.Announce our Brand New Masters of Law, Jimi Mac & Dolorous Ray.Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In which Your Hands and Special Guest Star Wars Hand Maddie Kay Ray break down the overwhelming success of the first season of ANDOR.This episode includes:Rampant awed confusion as to how something this leftist, anti-fascist, pro-revolutionary, and flat-out great got made by freaking Disney of all companies.We compare and contrast it to HotD (yay!), The Expanse (interesting comparison!), Black Sails (which you should watch!), and Rings of Power (lol).Maddie tells us her Star Wars Story and takes on the role of Rogue One's primary champion. Merry will not suffer your Prequels slander, and anoints Andor as her favorite fantasy/sci fi of 2022.Clint is mostly just horny for Bix.EXTENSIVE DRAMATIC SPEECHIFYING. Here's Maddie's koji! Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this eleventh and DEFINITELY (probably) final edition of the first season of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint and special guest Dr. Kavita Mudan Finn wrap up the initial season of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGONIn this episode we:Ask Kavita to delve into the real-world historical and Shakespearean influences of the Dance of the DragonsExplore the highlights, lowlights, and midlights of the adaptational choices of House of the Dragon, Season1Never stop shitting on Criston Cole, the dumb jock who mistakenly thinks he's the protagonist of realityHeap endless praise on Laenor Velaryon's storyline, we stan a queer poly king. Speculate wildly on who the fuck Mushroom is, exactly?Entertain Clint's theory on who exactly Eustace gets his hot goss from (HINT: Criston).Evaluate the Green and Black Councils from the various perspectives we're given in the book and the showArgue strenuously that Fire & Blood is Good, ActuallyWonder why Ryan Condal, friend of the pod, hasn't returned our emails?Supplemental ReadingDr. Kavita on TwitterDr. Kavita's blogBlood, Love, (History) and Rhetoric and House of the DragonSupport the show

In this tenth and final edition of the first season of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint  cover Season 1 Episode 10 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - The Black QueenIn this episode we:Invite everyone to play Learned Hands Bingo courtesy WBA Member Jacob Hufstader! If you win we will probably not give you anything but it might be pretty cool. Detail Rhaenyra Targaryen's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Coronation DayEvaluate the Blacks response to the Greens' illegal coup, what they did right, what they did wrong, and what they probably should have thought of more.Dive deep into the dragon smorgasbord with our EXCLUSIVE WBA Dragon correspondent Sanrixian!Pass judgment on whether Aemond is guilty of Depraved Heart Murder (but not in a sexy way).Relive the highs and lows of this fascinating season of televisionClint tries to not get fired while somehow tying this episode into Mrs. Donald Trump, Jr?Merry likens the Battle Over Shipbreaker's Bay to the 2022 ALCS.Folks we are so tired. You have no idea. Excited for Season 2, but, like, in an exceptionally tired way.Supplemental reading:Learned Hands Officially Legally Correct (kind of) Line of SuccessionOur Dance Party Episode on the Black CouncilSanrixian on PatreonOutro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this ninth edition of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint and Special Guest Hand Kristine Kippins cover Season 1 Episode 9 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - The Green CouncilIn this episode we:Evaluate the good, the bad, and the suboptimal strategies and events of the Green Coup.Track Alicent Hightower's emotional journey from mourning to stressing to plotting and back to stressing SO HARD again.Celebrate Mysaria, the White Worm, for quoting not-necessarily marxist theory and listening to the Learned Hands Podcast.Pay respects to Lord Lymon Beesbury, He Tried :( .Critique Aemond Targaryen's historically and philosophically inaccurate interpretation of the line of succession.Check in with our EXCLUSIVE WBA Dragon correspondent Sanrixian on the extent of the damage to the Dragonpit. Enjoy Aegon's Wost/Best Hangover ever, where he gains absolute power, gets yelled at by a dragon, and his mom refuses to say she loves him.Appreciate Rhaenys' various girlboss power plays, from her dressing down of Alicent, to her casual war crimes, to her decision not to burninate the greens to embers.Seriously and solemnly evaluate Larys Strong's pornhub search history, and also what it says about Society. Supplemental reading:Learned Hands Officially Legally Correct (kind of) Line of SuccessionOur Dance Party Episode on the Greens CoupSanrixian on PatreonOutro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this eighth edition of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint and Special Guest Hand Stanford Fraser cover Season 1 Episode 8 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - The Lord of the TidesIn this episode we:Evaluate Vaemond Velaryon's suboptimal litigation strategy and general inability to read the room.Sing the praises of our twin Rogue Princes, Daemon and Aemond Targaryen, we are sure they'll get along great.Critically analyze the Big Prophecy Twist and ask whether this was at all necessary?Do a Westerosi CLE on the concepts of res judicata, ripeness, standing, testamentary capacity, holographic wills, and dying declarations. Appreciate the lawyerly skills of Rhaenys and Rhaenyra, two gunners who never stop gunning, ever.Talk about family, life, and heartbreak in the context of Viserys I Targaryen, the Most Mid King in Westerosi History.Supplemental reading:Learned Hands Officially Legally Correct (kind of) Line of SuccessionStanford's podcast the Hot Pod ExpressOutro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this seventh edition of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint cover Season 1 Episode 7 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - DriftmarkIn this episode we:Celebrate the fact that LAENOR VELARYON LIVED which was the greatest thing that ever happened to Merry and/or Clint.Have a LAWYERFIGHT over whether or not Aemond Targaryen is guilty of stealing Vhagar.Clint sings the praises of Aegon II, that walking penis.Merry is super supportive of incest for some weird reason (it's not that weird idk [jk it kind of is].).Evaluate the aftermath of the War of the Five Kids and the big confrontation in the great hall between Team Green and Team Black which we are all very sure will work out just fine for everyone involved.Check in with the WBA's EXCLUSIVE Dragon correspondent Sanrixian about some frickin' dragons!Speculate wildly on the fate of Qarl Correy and Laenor Velaryon, who - and we cannot stress this enough - FUCKING LIVED exclamation mark exclamation mark!!!!Pose the unending question of Larys Strong... what is your deal bro????Supplemental reading:Article on the legality of wild animal captureLo the Lynx's thread on nontraditional poly relationshipsOutro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the showSupport the show

In this sixth edition of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint and special guest Queer Alex cover Season 1 Episode 6 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - The Princess and the QueenIn this episode we:Celebrate the Pink Dread as we crank out as many references to Aegon II's solo performance during the Hour of the Eel in his very own White Sword Tower Sing a song of thanks to the Realm's Best Dad Harwin Strong, you may be dead but at least you got to punch Criston Cole all those times so at least it evens out. Evaluate the political decisions of the major players, including Lyonel, Larys, Alicent, Daemon and Rhaenyra.Get the Hot Deets from Learned Hands' EXCLUSIVE Dragon Correspondent Sanrixian who introduces us to Vermax, Arrax, Dreamfyre, and most importantly That Hoary Old Bitch Vhagar.Discuss Daemon Targaryen's depressive midlife crisis where all he does is #girldad and watch History Channel documentaries on Rhoyne War II. Pour One Out for Lyonel Strong, our beloved Learned Hand, who did nothing wrong, ever.Do a frankly ridiculous number of jerk off referencesOutro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this fifth edition of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint and special guest Jocelyn from More Wine Pod cover Season 1 Episode 5 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - We Light The WayIn this episode we:Never, ever, ever stop telling Criston Cole that he can go fuck himself forever and ever amen.Evaluate Jocelyn's submission of evidence regarding Criston Cole's relationship to Drake and other notable fuckbois.Begrudgingly Daemon credit for being exactly the most extra all the time. Run down the Good, Bad, Mid, and Messy of the Big Wedding of the Season.Check in with our EXCLUSIVE Dragon Correspondent Sanrixian who gives us the rundown on Melys the Red Queen.Undertake a measured, scholarly discussion of Criston Cole's dick game, and reach the inescapable conclusion that it is TRASH.Give props to Team Strong, Lyonel the Learned Hand, Larys the Learned Whisperer, and Harwin the ... strong guy.Entertain a Lawyer Fight over who has the better costumes this season: the lords or the ladies.Mourn the Rhaenyra-Laenor-Joffrey polycule, they could have been great. RIP.Worship our parents and friends, Corlys and Rhaenys. We love them. Please adopt us.Supplemental ReadingJocelyn's Podcast More Wine PodDr. Kavita's Recap of Episode 5Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Dragon Sound effect by Daniel Simon.Support the show

In this fourth edition of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint and special guest Akash cover Season 1 Episode 4 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - King of the Narrow SeaIn this episode we:Discuss Viserys's HR practices vis-a-vis his former employee Otto Hightower, better hope you don't file for unemployment.Go in depth about the concept of sexual consent, in all of the various and sundry ways this episode explores it.Invite our guest Akash J. Saran to opine on Rhaenyra's struggle with the intersection of power and gender and how that permeates the storyline.Cheer hard for Yung Blackwood, the central hero of our times.Heap praise upon the way this episode weaves in Shakespearean and Machiavellian themes while luxuriating in the female gaze.Allow Clint to gamely take up a stirring defense of Rhaenyra Targaryen, Truth Teller.Experience Merry's deconstruction of Viserys's successes as a ruler while noting his complete failures as a husband and human being. Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Dragon Sound effect by Daniel Simon.Support the show

In this third edition of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint cover Season 1 Episode 3 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - Second Of His HameIn this episode we:Ask how well Viserys “Dark Brandon” Targaryen supported Rhaenyra's claim to the Iron Throne.Talk some more shit about primogeniture,Argue that the real prince was promised was the hot goss we learned along the way.Get educated about Seasmoke by Learned Hands EXCLUSIVE Dragon Correspondent Sanrixian.Ponder whether it's okay to commit war crimes to spite your brother.Give Lyonel Strong the WBA lawyer of the year award and send Harwin strong  to Horny Jail.Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Dragon Sound effect by Daniel Simon.Support the show

In this sophomore edition of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint cover Season 1 Episode 2 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - The Rogue PrinceThis episode includes:It's wedding season, y'all! Matchmaker, matchmaker, make Viserys a match, find him a find, and catch him a catch that - and we cannot stress this enough - is age appropriate. For the love of god. Leave Leana Velaryon alone (and bring her her dragon!)Criston Cole gets a promotion and remains tragically unpunchable.Viserys remains the most mid king of all time. Clint analyzes Rhaenyra's NFL draft prospects, incredible fashion sense, and outrageous BDE.Merry has... complicated feelings about Rhaenyra's relationship with her shitbag uncle.Everyone is struggling with the patriarchy, even when they are working to vindicate it. We break down the realpolitik and Machiavellian strengths and weaknesses of Corlys Velayron and Otto Hightower, the realm's most powerful "second sons". Spoilery speculation about births, deaths, weddings, and dragonriders.Important reminder that Prince has no gender in high valyrian. Supplemental Reading:Thread on the Grand Maesters ConspiracyDr. Kavita Mudan Finn's review of Episode 2Diego's ESSENTIAL twitter thread on the opening creditsOutro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Dragon Sound effect by Daniel Simon.Support the show

In this VERY FIRST EPISODE of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint cover Season 1 Episode 1 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON.This episode includes:A breakdown of the show's discussion of Great Council of 101 AC and a breakdown of the succession, which seems sort of important.Daemon Targaryen's campaign for Mayor of New York City.We discuss this entirely imaginary society where people are forced to give birth against their will. Critical analysis of Targaryen suboptimal infosec protocols. An update from our EXCLUSIVE dragon correspondent, Sanrixian. Bumpers in High Valyrian!Merry says the word c*nt a lot, as requested.Spoilery speculation on the rest of the season, and beyond!Supplemental Reading:Miguel Sapotchnik on Aemma's birthing bed scene.Buy Sanrixian's Art.Lo The Lynx on PunishmentOutro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this thirty-first episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: What did we learn here?Our analysis this week includes:The Dance is done! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.We put a bow on the whole danged civil war, and discuss what on earth we can learn from this gigantic clusterfuck. Merry delivers an impassioned speech on gender and precedent and the patriarchyClint discusses some people who died, died. Declarations of the winners, the losers, and the in-betweeners of the Dance.We talk about how hard can kick rocks while previewing House of the Dragon!The name of Learned Hands HotD coverage is revealed!Twenty-seven hours, fifty two minutes, and twenty-three seconds of Dances Party later, we are done. Like really really done.(Until we have to do HotD)Supplemental reading: Lady Madeleine Winters' essays on Greens Apologia. Watch Burn After Reading, it's really good.Also the Jim Carroll Band rules.Bumpers by Imrahil.  Extensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this thirtieth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: How well did Larys Strong, Cregan Stark, and Other Dancers do Machiavelli?Our analysis this week includes:Sexy Sexy Sexiness from Cregan Stark and Black Aly.Let's talk about Prince! Not the purple one. Or the little one. The one you read in freshman year Poli Sci.Clint gets all "you really have to look at the context before passing judgment" about Niccolò Machiavelli of all fucking people.Merry brings in the not-necessarily-Marxist reading, as per usual.We play the Realm's favorite game: Machiavelli or A Song of Ice And Fire? YOU CHOOSE.The Hands pass judgment on Larys Strong, Cregan Stark, Corlys Velaryon, and others.Everyone likes the counter-counter-coup against the Greens and Aegon II, who is kind of a dumbass and had to go.No one likes the democrats, who are also dumbasses.For some reason we make a bunch of pornhub jokes.We discuss how Nicky Macs feels about lying and killing (SPOILER: they're good!)It's the Hour of the Danged Wolf! There are trials! GET FUCKING HYPE.Supplemental reading: How to find and donate to your local abortion fundsA searchable copy of The PrinceGramsci's reading of MachiavelliBumpers by Lephrenic.  Extensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

in this VERY SPECIAL HOLIDAY EPISODE, your Hands and both of the Girls Gone Canon go in-depth about HBO's VEEP, the Best Ever Show About American Politics, Including The One You're Thinking About (and Also Game of Thrones). Highlights from the episode include:Chloe peels back the comedy curtain and explains why Veep works so wellEliana explains how Veep is true to DC life while being attacked by Varys' little birdsClint gets really horny about JLD and argues that House of Cards and the West Wing are fantasy, actually.Merry talks about the nature of pain and also useless lawyers.A verdict is reached as to who the Most Littlefinger person in the show is (Dan). Show clips! Oh god the show clips.Predictions about which Veep character would win the Iron Throne.No one likes American government, and neither does Veep, which is why it's perfect.Support the show

In this twenty-ninth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint, and Special Guest Hand Rohanne ask: Is Cersei's walk of atonement effective punishment, and what are its goals?Our analysis this week includes:Acclaimed Cerseiologist Rohanne walks us through Cersei's thoughts during the walk of atonement from her expert perspective.The whole panel agrees Kevan Lannister SUCKS and that he had it coming.We discuss the Garden of Eden, taste the sweet apple of knowledge and conclude Eve did nothing wrong.We generally agree with Queer Alex that Cersei is too sexy to commit crimes.Everyone loves MILFs.Clint explains why it is suboptimal for the church to involved in punishing people for crimes.Rohanne and Merry muse on Jouissance and the possibly for pleasure outside patriarchy.Supplemental reading:Rohanne and Lo's essay on Cersei, A Most Uncommon Woman, Cersei's Gender TroubleRohanne on Aemy Blackfyre's channel on Cersei and the PatriarchyOn Conflating Drag with Femininity and Sexuality by Dr. Janega. Clint tweets about Folsom Street FairBumpers by Smarti of the Hollow Hill. Audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

Episode 28: “Dance Party: Vol. VII; A Caution for Young Rulers”In this twenty-seventh episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: What can the deaths of Rhaenyra and Daemon tell us about their successes and failures?Our analysis this week includes:Fabulous and important perspectives on revolution from Queer Alex and Dolorous RayA plea to support abortion funds in the United States.We finally get to *extremely heavy metal sounds* the BATTLE OVER THE GOD'S EYE.Everyone shits on Joffrey for posting spoilers about the end of HotD.Broad speculation on Daemon Targaryen's favorite Alkaline Trio song.Merry argues that it's probably a bad look to have to sell your crown to take a ship.Clint gets to talk about the divine right of kings AND Varys's riddle, so you know he's happy.MOONDANCER! MOONDANCER QUEEN! Alfred Broome can go fuck himself. Anyway, Rhaenyra dies when she gets eaten by Aegon II's dragon.Your Hands discuss ways that this could have been avoided, and introduce the Dany-Rhaenyra-Stannis scale. Supplemental reading: How to find and donate to your local abortion fundsLink to Queer Alex and Dolorous Ray's letters Eliana's Essay on Dany and Tragic HeroismBumpers by Dr. Shiloh Carroll.  Extensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this twenty-seventh episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint, and Special Guest Hand Don Zeko ask: What does GRRM's portrayal of the Wall reveal about the values that motivate criminal law in Westeros and how does it compare and contrast with other forms of punishment?Our analysis this week includes:We take the focus away from liability and into punishment, for once.Superhero Public Defender Don Zeko schools us on theories of Westerosi punishment.A great debate ensues about who is eligible to take the black.Merry quotes The Expanse in an extremely relevant way.Clint talks about the 8th Amendment, for fun.No one says good things about Nino.A judgment is passed on whether the opportunity to take the black is good or bad or neutral.Learned Hands pays respect to Maester Luwin, the greatest law professor in Westeros.We also talk about Theon. My god, Theon, you dummy.Supplemental reading: Hadrian's Wall GoT influenceA critique of Innocence ProjectsLet's talk about prison coloniesMcClesky v. Kemp opinion and dissentBumpers by Lo The Lynx. Audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

Episode 26: “Dance Party: Vol. VI; Dance Dance Revolution”In this twenty-sixth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: Did the people of King's Landing have the right to revolution? If so, why?Our analysis this week includes:The Smallfolk Strike Back! We cover what happened to get folks to the point where they're ready to storm the basti… erm, dragonpit. The Return of Clint's Lockean Right to Revolution.Merry responds with some (not necessarily) Marxism. No one trusts a goddamn word Archmaester Gyldayn says.Your Hands cover the overlapping terms of riot, revolution, uprising, rebellion, and everything in between.General agreement that Cock Taxes are bad.We cover what this part of the Dance has in common with the Bread Riots, Stonewall, Watts, Warsaw, Minneapolis, Compton's Cafeteria, and even the February Revolution.Finally, we deliver a final verdict on whether and why the people of King's Landing had the Right to Revolution.Supplemental reading: Taking the Enlightenment Seriously Requires a Discussion of RaceMLK's Grosse Pointe speechShould countries have the right to rebel?Was Stonewall a riot, an uprising, or a rebellion?Steven Attewell on the Targaryen DracocracyBumpers by Reg Levy. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In this twenty-fifth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: How should Westerosi sovereigns look at treason and how should it be punished?Our analysis this week includes:Happy Valentine's Day, here's an episode about treasonDiscussion of the Dragonseeds, the good (Nettles), the bad (Hugh & Ulf), and the ugly (HOW DARE YOU TURN ON ADDAM, RHAENYRA!!)Your Hands cover First Night, breaking guest right, First Tumbelton, and Tumbelton II; Electric Boogaloo.We also say non-ironic actual nice things about Stannis Baratheon(!!!)Merry tempts fate, Taylor Swift, and Dany stans all in the same episode Clint cites the Constitution, the Great Statute of Treasons, and dusts off his terrible Jaime Lannister impressionRIP Hugh and RIP Ulf, no one liked youEveryone shits on Tywin Lannister, who is deadSupplemental reading: Article on treason prosecutions in the US in the context of John Walker LindhBumpers by Aemy Blackfyre. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In which your Hands and friends get excited for Season 6 of the Expanse.Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In this twenty fourth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: How do the battles in the Dance of the Dragons establish law or precedent?Our analysis this week includes:The glorious return of burrito metaphorsYour Hands dive back in on the Battle of the Gullet, the Disaster on the Honeywine, the Fishfeed, and the Butcher's BallOur sports analogies don't work because both teams have negative points Clint finally gets to gas on about the American Civil WarMerry defends* her home state of Texas (*lol)RIP Jace Velaryon, the North's strongest AllyEveryone has a massive LOL about Criston Cole getting merc'd like an assholeMerry & Clint argue about whether Rhaenyra taking the throne has any legal effectSupplemental reading: Texas v. White opinionBumpers by Virginie. Audio Engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In this twenty-third episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire, and special guest Akash J. Saran, J.D., ask: Does any leader at the Wall have 'good' immigration policies? How do they compare to those in the real world?Our analysis this week includes:We describe how the Free Folk are similar to refugees, asylees, and immigrants.Special guest Akash gives us a full rundown of the history of US immigration laws.Merry and her Law Hounds deliver a passionate defense of amnesty.Clint does his best accent work, probably ever.The team does a deep dive of Jon Snow's immigration policies.Learned Hands interrogates the legitimacy of the Wall itself.An update on the Westerosi Bar Association and the 2021-2022 Pledge drive.A musical cold open.Seriously, the accents are bananas.Supplemental reading: Bumpers by Sanrixian. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In this twenty second episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry, Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: What is the legal resolution of the Hornwood Inheritance CrisisOur analysis this week includes:Poor Donella Hornwood gets the respect she deserves.Your Hands lay out detail on the family trees of Halys Hornwood, Donella Hornwood, and one or two other surprise Westerosi heirs. Clint makes an extended analogy about feudal property rights and San Francisco real estate that might hit a little too close to home.We give everyone a refresher on the laws of succession and play Westerosi Bachelorette!George R.R. Martin pays the price for his lack of vision/respect for the common law.The True Legal Heir of the Hornwood is identified, alongside the (actual) likely successor.Merry gives a bonus lecture about copyright law!Clint makes a weird Ferris Beuller reference!So many puns.Supplemental reading: Heirs in the Shadows; Righteous in Wrath, by Good Queen AlyLearned Hands Episode 3: “The Wills of Winter”Learned Hands Episode 12: “Dance Party Vol. I; The Precedent That Never Was”Bumpers by Steven Stark. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

Maester Merry, Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire and Dr. Shiloh Carroll ask: What are the Westerosi rules of chivalry and how do they relate to other chivalric codes, real and fictional?Our analysis this week includes:Dr. Shiloh, who is a real life medievalist expert, learns us all about what chivalry really was and how modern audiences have interpreted (and mis-interpreted) the codes of knighthood.We do a deep dive into how the competing ideas of chivalry are reflected in ASOIAF.A point-by-point comparison between what we know about the Kingsguard oath and Sir Thomas Malory's Pentacostal Oath.Merry says an unkind word or twenty about Barristan the Bold.Clint dusts off his rickety Jaime-as-Doc Holliday impression.Everyone wants to get their hands on the White Book.Actual Blackfish content on Learned Hands for the very first time.The crew issues very specific knightly grades to Barristan, Sandor, Jaime, and Brienne.Supplemental reading: Shiloh on twitterBuy Shiloh's book“Brienne of Tarth, not quite a lady; not quite a Knight” essay by Lo the LynxMedieval Chivalry (Cambridge Medieval Textbooks) (9780521137959): Kaeuper, Richard W.: From Chivalry to Terrorism: War and the Changing Nature of Masculinity (9780679768302): Braudy, Leo: Extensive editing by LittleWolfBird. Bumpers by Zach of the North. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In this twentieth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire and a cast of several ask: Is GRRM successful in asking meaningful questions about his character's ‘tax policies'?Our analysis this week includes:Learned Hands invites wonderful and thought provoking amicus curiae briefs from WBA members Ray, Adriana, Pat, Jimi, Lo, Alex, Virginie, and some other guy (Frank).Merry and Clint wrestle with the proper legal standard to apply to the question, aided by Adriana and Ray.Steven Stark beautifully renders GRRM's tax policy quotation.Pat raises great questions about baby orc genocide!Lo beautifully critiques GRRM's treatment of Dany's white saviorism.Alex points out gaping holes in GRRM's treatment of race and sexuality.Jimi hoists the hosts on their own petardVirginie analyzes the question in the context of TORMUND THUNDERFIST, HUSBAND TO HOSTS, etc etcFrank manages to make an argument without mentioning Stannis EVEN ONCE.Clint talks about tax policy and crenelations!Merry does a sexy Oberyn Martell impression!The court renders an opinion on both the book AND the show.Supplemental reading:Pat's essay on how the Starks are like OrcsClint's essay on Westeros and the Social ContractLo the Lynx's treasure trove of essaysExtensive editing by LittleWolfBird. Bumpers by Jimi Mac. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In this nineteenth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: How does the Law In Literature inform interpretations of the Dance of the Dragons?Our analysis this week includes:A blow-by-blow breakdown of the Blacks’ response to the Greens’ coup and the varying tragedies that follow.A thorough explanation of exactly why Daemon Targaryen, Criston Cole, and Aemond Targaryen all suck so much ass.Learned Hands bends the knee once again to Rhaenys Targaryen, the Queen Who Never Was.We discuss how the varying perspectives of the narrators influence both Fire & Blood and illuminate various issues in the main ASOIAF narrative.Merry is finally won over to the idea that Fire & Blood and the Dance of the Dragons and (hopefully) HotD is Good, Actually.Clint offers his First Ever ASOIAF Theory about what Blood & Cheese means to the main narrative!Our hosts connect the Dance of the Dragons directly to the storytelling surrounding the American Civil War. Learned Hands finally touches on the Blackwood-Bracken Feud LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO.Supplemental reading: English Law before the Conquest (Chapter 1) - The Cambridge Companion to Medieval English Law and LiteratureExtensive editing by LittleWolfBird. Bumpers by Frank. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In this eighteenth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: What role did Westeros’ legal system play in enabling the Greens' coup? What lessons can we learn from it?Our analysis this week includes:Learned Hands returns to the Dance of the Dragons as we cover the aftermath of the Great Council of 101AC and the weirdly flaccid reign of Viserys I.We detail all of the various institutional, historical, and legal factors that facilitated the Greens' power grab.Lots of comparisons to real-life coups, including the failed attempt we all just lived through. Your hosts give you their fair and balanced opinions on Daemon Targaryen (who sucks).Clint giddily rants about Varys' Riddle AND Federalist 10 AND gets to make a tortured Seven Kingdoms/Federalism analogy for like three hours.Merry instructs you, the listener, on how to pull off a 100% successful coup!(lol jk)We ask the question of whether Westeros is actually fit for unified government. My god so much swearing. Supplemental reading: Tayyab Mahmud, Jurisprudence of Successful Treason: Coup d'Etat & Common Law, 27 CORNELL INT'L L. J. 49 (1994), https://digitalcommons.law.seattleu.edu/faculty/543Coup d'État: A Practical Handbook, Revised Edition: Luttwak, Edward N.: 9780674737266: Amazon.com: Books see also CHART: How to Execute a Coup (businessinsider.com) Clint's discussion about Varys' Riddle on NotACast for ACOK Tyrion IIExtensive editing by LittleWolfBird. Bumpers by Adriana, Lady Counselor of the Summer Isles and Archmaester of Pedantic Sophistry. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In this seventeenth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire and special guest BryndenBFish from the NotACast Podcast ask: Did the Brotherhood Without Banners commit war crimes?Our analysis this week includes:A MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT TWOWJeff pretends he is a lawyer AND that he is Merry & Clint’s client somehow all at the same time?Detailed discussion about how the BWB fits into the legal framework of war including the knightly code, the Hague/Geneva Conventions, the ICC, the UCMJ, the unitary executive theory, Guantanamo Bay, and also Cylons?The panel decides whether Ned Stark’s original authorization was legal (it was).A hearty debate as to whether the BWB under Beric is all that different than what it appears to be under Lady Stoneheart.We also finally explain to everyone who hasn’t already googled it who Learned Hand was.Obviously we also force Jeff to do the Sandor voice.Supplemental reading: Jeff’s blog, his podcast, and his twitter (don’t follow him there) “Crimes and Consequences in Ancient Rome” Congressional Research Service Report on Special Prosecutors and Independent CounselBlog post from a Collection of Unmitigated Pedantry comparing warfare in HBO’s Game of Thrones to warfare in the historical medieval periodExtensive editing by LittleWolfBird. Bumpers by Micah of Clark. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In this sixteenth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: If the election happened in modern America, was the election of Lord Commander Jon Snow legitimate?Our analysis this week includes:Learned Hands returns to the Night’s Watch for the first time in a WHOLE YEAR, since our very first episode!Everyone makes very fucking measured and balanced arguments about the Electoral College, the 2020 Election, and Rudy Guiliani Just kidding.As per usual, Clint shoehorns Natural Rights philosophers into a completely unrelated discussion.Merry goes Full Kornacki. So many absurd and frankly offensively bad accents.Your hosts dig in on the similarities between the Night’s Watch electoral procedures and the American constitutional doctrine of One Person One Vote.Deep details about the way Nights Watch elections do and perhaps should work.Merry side-eyes the fuck outta Sam Tarly and defends Stannis Baratheon. I guess you could say things get weird.Supplemental reading: Election Contests and DisputesState and Federal Election Contests: An OverviewRadiolab Presents: More Perfect - The Political Thicket | RadiolabCalifornia Code, Elections Code - ELEC § 16100 | FindLawReynolds v. SimsBaker v. CarrA Decision That Cannot Be Defended on Shelby County v. Holder (2013). Right-wing trolls Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman charged with felony voter intimidation | Salon.comExtensive editing by LittleWolfBird. Bumpers by Dolorous Ray. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In this very special BONUS LIVESTREAM, Merry & Clint give you the skinny on what went into Episode 15, the Horny Trial of Rhaegar Targaryen, including an update on the current jury voting, behind-the-scenes info on the cast, and much much more! Also included is:Comments from the jury themselves as to why they voted a certain way!So many dick jokes!A discussion as to who is the horniest character in ASOIAFMerry & Clint give you their favorite SCOTUS cases (that are both dirty!)The most profane explanation of the "conscious disregard" standard imaginable.Want to have access to/attend/appear in these livestreams in the future? Sign up for the Westerosi Bar Association at the Amicus Curiae Level or above! Voting for the trial episode is open until February 4. Vote today!CAST YOUR JURY VOTE HERE VIEW THE EPISODE TRANSCRIPT HERE Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In this fifteenth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire & a hilarious cast of dozens give you: The Horny Trial Of Rhaegar Targaryen!This episode includes:Learned Hands’ first ever TRIAL EPISODE, featuring the vocal talents of many of your favorite fandom creators!Horny Judge Chloe Gone Canon rules on sexy objections!Horny Bailiff Eliana Gone Canon keeps everyone in line!Clint tries to prosecute the Dragon Prince directly into horny jail!Merry does everything she can to get Rhaegar off (from a bonking)!Thirsty testimony from Robert Baratheon! Eddard Stark! Oswell Whent! Howland Reed! And more!An opportunity for you, the listener, to cast your vote on two separate counts of bonking!The FINAL VERDICT will be coming (HEY-O) two weeks after the episode drops!CAST YOUR JURY VOTE HERE VIEW THE EPISODE TRANSCRIPT HERE Special thanks to the following people for their efforts in making this episode as fun and great as it was: Chloe from Girls Gone Canon as the Horny JudgeEliana from Girls Gone Canon as the Horny BailiffKristine Kippins as the Horny Expert WitnessFrank Bumb as Robert BaratheonLittleWolfBird as Elia Martell Zach from Leaf Hall as Eddard StarkAegonTheSixth as Oswell WhentLo The Lynx as Howland ReedAziz from History of Westeros as Arthur DayneMaddie Kay Ray as Lyanna Stark AND transcript editorIntro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. Additional music by Shakes of Thrones. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In this fourteenth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire ask: How does the First Law of Braavos shape the Braavosi legal system?Our analysis this week includes:It’s Learned Hands’ second trip across the Narrow Sea!Clint offers an extremely tenuous analogy about Braavosi checks and balances!An in-depth analysis of the reasons why and how the First Law of Braavos developed!Everyone says only VERY GOOD THINGS about modern democracies! Merry asks the question on everyone’s mind: are the Braavosi the baddies?Everyone is shocked as neither Merry nor Clint can shut up even a little bit about constitutional legal theories!WBA members interrogate our Hands on the suboptimal parts of Braavosi society!The Braavosi First Law is compared and contrasted with a MYSTERY constitution explicitly based on upholding slavery! There is NO WAY you will guess which constitution it is!Supplemental reading: Democracy’s Identity Problem, (discussing Habermas and Constitutional Patriotism) America Right or Wrong: An Anatomy of American Nationalism, Hannah Arendt, Between Past and Future,Roberto Unger, Personal Website, Constitutional design without Constitutional Moments, Gamifying constitutionsConstitutional Design in the Ancient World, , Atlantic articles talking about the US constitution in the context of contemporary problemshttps://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/11/yes-constitution-democracy/616949/, https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/10/james-madison-mob-rule/568351/https://www.whatitmeanstobeamerican.org/identities/the-black-freedom-colonies-of-appalachia-where-former-slaves-could-speak-their-minds/5-4 Podcast, Shelby County,Frederick Douglass on the Anti-Slavery Constitution: https://global.oup.com/us/companion.websites/fdscontent/uscompanion/us/static/companion.websites/9780199751358/instructor/chapter_5/frederickdouglas.pdfEditing by LittleWolfBird. Bumpers by Kelly. Reading by Zach. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In this VERY SPOOPY 13th episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Maester Merry & Clint from Laws of Ice and Fire, along with Expert Witness JoeMagician ask: What are the Privileges & Immunities of the UNDEAD?Our analysis this week includes:FUN! WHIMSY! SPOOPINESS!A surprisingly in-depth and NOT AT ALL BULLSHIT explanation of the rights of the UNDEAD!JoeMagician, expert witness on Westersoi ghouls, gets VOIR DIRE’D all the way to HELL!Clint uses burrito analogies to explain the Rule Against Perpetuities, the SCARIEST concept in all of LAW!Merry uses TEXTUAL ANALYSIS to decide whether Jon Snow is guilty of MURDER!No one wants to talk about THE SUPREME COURT!One or more of your hosts gets even DRUNKER than USUAL!Everyone urges you not to have SEX with the DECEASED!Supplemental reading: -JoeMagician on twitter and youtube. -NatGeo on burying people in a pandemic.-Prosecuting the undead in a zombie apocalypse.-The Constitution is not dead, no matter what this article says.Editing by LittleWolfBird. Spoopy Bumpers by Aemy Blackfyre. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In this episode, our hosts begin their Dance Party Series, covering the legal issues in the Dance of the Dragons. In Dance Party Vol. I, Merry & Clint ask: What precedents, if any, were created by the Great Council of 101 AC?The Episode also features:Our hosts answer the question: what the heck is a precedent!?!Clint gasses on about Montesquieu a whole bunch!A discussion of “stare decisis” with very unsubtle real world implications.Discussion of Valyrian steel swords, even lost ones like Brightroar!Everyone shits on the Electoral College!Learned Hands declares for Rhaenys Targaryen!Merry brings back her Catelyn Stark accent!A complete and thorough destruction of the false notion of an Iron Precedent which bars a woman or a man from a female line from inheriting the Iron Throne!References & Supplemental Reading:-Clint’s essay on the Great Council of 101 AC. -Jaeharys Targaryen's family tree. -Steven Attewell's Hollow Crowns and Deadly Thrones Essays, going into his concept of a Dracocracy. Intro/Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants.Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)

In this episode, our hosts look at the Westerosi criminal “justice” system to see exactly how badly it sucks. Here, Merry & Clint and SPECIAL GUEST LEARNED HAND and public defender Stanford Fraser ask: What evidentiary and due process issues arise from the Trials of Tyrion Lannister?The Episode also features:A discussion of what Tyrion’s guilty “verdict” means for Sansa Stark!Terrible New York accents for an extremely dubious reason!Stanford tells us how our constitutional due process rights work in actual practice!Details on which parts of the Westerosi criminal justice system are the most and least suboptimal!Everyone learns about hearsay and its exceptions so that from now on no one will ever get the actual legal definition of hearsay wrong for the rest of your lives!The Law of Parties!An explanation as to why trial by combat is so pervasive in the seven kingdomsOne of our hosts approvingly quotes Antonin Scalia! (LOL IT WAS MERRY)References & Supplemental Reading:-Clint’s Not Great Bob essay on the Trials of Tyrion Lannister. -Gideon v. Wainwright (1963). -How Americans Lost the Right to Counsel 5 Years After Gideon.-Wrong place at the wrong time, and the Law of Parties. -Stanford Fraser on twitter.Intro/Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants.Support the show (https://www.WesterosBar.org)