The Demetra Nyx Show

I have started a new podcast — called Impolite Company with Demetra Gray!On Spotify find it here: https://open.spotify.com/show/1Ra4aPA3zV0Eay1G8Dn1Al?si=ee5917851dc642c3On Apple find it here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/impolite-company-with-demetra-gray/id1788568554My new Substack: demetragray.substack.comThanks so much for being a part of this journey & I hope to see you on my new platforms in the future :)

Jordan & I talk about the "before & after" of working with your sexual energy. I discuss my own journey, the beliefs about sex that will change, myths about orgasm and how the narrative of doctors is often wrong (yes, everyone can have minutes long orgasms and all different types), and what changes in the rest of your life when you're connected with this energy. Jordan also talks about how it feels for men to be with a women who have done this type of work. We created this podcast in celebration of our newest course Eternal Glow, you can find out more by clicking here:GetEternalGlow.com

A quick update to tell you I'm taking a little break from episodes! I will likely be back in some amount of weeks :) xo

Jordan and I talk about many things under the sun, such as going to bed and waking up with the sun, the comment our appliance installer made about our handiness and what we are doing now, Jordan chopping wood and Demetra planting the garden, Jordan's new program, Jordan's dreams, the cute things about our island, what we had to let go of in getting married, and much much more

In this episode I go on a rant about the claims companies and people make about studies without ever having read them, I talk all about my garden and what I'm growing and creating things with our hands, my sourdough adventures, what my screentime boundaries are, and how gardening is helping me healwebsite: demetragray.com

In this episode Jess and I talk about our past experiences with men following us home, cat-calling, and being predatory, and what to do in these situations. We discuss verbal boundary setting, how to tell someone you're not interested in communicating with them, what signs to look for when someone might be dangerous, and the various ways a situation can escalate. We also talk about our own experiences with self-defense training as women, different types of martial arts, and how important it can be to have the knowing that you can physically protect yourself. We also both love men and share the perspective that having had negative experiences with some men does not extrapolate to men in general, and we talk about shifting this story, our appreciation for men, and the protectiveness of men around us.Jess's linktree: ways to work with her, free offerings, etcJess's Facebook (where she writes most of her content)Jess Mather, Cpt, Lpta, Sfg, FRCms, Fms, is a strength and rehab professional who helps others relieve symptoms and build a strong, healthy body with sustainable, safe, and proven strategies. With over 13 years of experience supporting thousands of individuals from 9 to over 99, she has repeatedly witnessed the body's ability to strengthen and heal regardless of circumstance. Jess has spent the last 8+ years online helping clients in over a dozen countries through private coaching, courses and group programs. Jess is also a board-accredited educational provider in multiple states through both the Physical and Occupational Therapy Boards and the founder of the Chronic Pain & Trauma Curriculum to teach other health providers how to work with chronic pain through a trauma-informed lens. She blends her background in physical therapy, trauma healing, and strength training to create a unique experience for each one of her clients and students.Other links:Demetra's InstagramWho Demetra did the ASST training through: Raw Power Self Defense (LA based)

Going away so much over the past few months has shown us a lot, and in this episode I talk about what I've been learning and the need to simplify my life and get out of stress mode. Highlights include the pros & cons of healing on the internet, commentary on trad wife/fake IG accounts, why are you following people you don't like?, creating things with our hands, and how intuitively we tend to know what we need in order to heal.

In this episode (and about 2 years into our marriage), Jordan and I discuss what it was like for us to get engaged. Jordan talks about having anxiety and questioning everything, I talk about how I handled him feeling that way, and we both talk about the many different things our minds did to try to protect us. We especially focus on the societal narrative for how you "should" be feeling during this time, versus the reality of how most people actually feel! Engagement anxiety is a very real thing, and it's not a "condition" as much as it is just very normal. If we don't work through these feelings during our engagement, it's likely they'll surface in the first year of marriage. These life events are a big deal, and we're here to talk you through it!Jordan's article: Engagement Anxiety: Why am I more afraid than happy?Direct, live support from Jordan Gray: The Circle

In this episode I cover a huge range of topics about the menstrual cycle. I struggled for over a decade with intense painful 10 day periods and endometriosis (including bowel endometriosis), plus at one point I bled for 16 months straight. I had to fix these things on my own, and this is how I did. This episode is kind of split into two parts - the basics/foundations (things like eating enough food, eating frequently, pro-metabolic style eating, focusing on saturated fats, getting enough carbs, minerals and vitamins, raw carrot salad/estrogen detox, etc. The second part goes more into the story of how I bled for over a year straight and what stopped it - in this part I talk about lab work and supplements, homeopathy, german new medicine, & emotions. I also talk about progesterone and my current experimentation with bioidentical progesterone. Sound quality is a little un-ideal in the beginning but around 30 mins in the background sound eases!I note in the episode and I'll also note here that although I'm using the word "healed" for search purposes (so you find this if you need it) I don't really think there is a final ending of "healed," our bodies are always an ongoing journey. However, I now rarely have endometriosis symptoms and have a pretty easy, light and regular 5 day cycle with very minimal, if any, pain - which is a world of difference from before, and I expect it to keep getting better. I am not a doctor & none of this is medical advice. Further resources I recommend:The work of Ray Peat Sarah and Ashley Armstrong's Rooted in Resilience online course (they also have a podcast by the same name, season 1 goes into these topics I've touched on more in depth). They are @strong.sistas on IGThe book How to Heal Your Metabolism by Kate Deering is an easy to understand, more in depth overview of what I've talked about in this episode as wellYou can also search for "pro-metabolic" and "bioenergetic nutrition," that is the lens that most of what I share here is based through. This is a lens that encompasses the work of Dr. Ray Peat, Dr. Broda Barnes, & many others

In this episode it's my turn to ask Jordan questions that he wasn't told ahead of time! Topics range from what made him want to marry me, to his suicide attempt at 15 and becoming a father in the future, & more. This is a companion episode to the previous one, where Jordan asks me questions.

In this episode Jordan interviews me, asking me 5 deep questions about life that he did not tell me ahead of time. This is a very intimate episode :) stay tuned for next episode where we do the reverse, with different secret questions!

Join me for a walk outside as I talk through many different things lol such as - being a 1/3 in human design, all about sugar and the metabolism and things I've been learning about health, how I realized I need to be eating way more carbs, thinking about being a parent, experiencing myself differently in different places, arriving back in South Carolina, and many other things!Resources/people to look up:Ray Peat, Broda Barnes, Albert Szent-Györgyi, Sarah & Ashley Armstrong (have a nutrition course), @fundamental.nutrition on IG, Kate Deering's "How to heal the metabolism," etc

I am reading 100 books this year and my first 10 are complete! In this episode I discuss pros and cons of this challenge so far, and talk about each book and what I thought about it (no spoilers). The first 10 books were, in order:The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue - VE SchwabMrs. Dalloway - Virginia WoolfA Tale for the Time Being - Ruth OzekiThe Peculiar Life of a Lonely Postman - Denis TheriaultThe Glass Hotel - Emily St John MandelBurning Sage - Meghan FandrichSprawl - Danielle DuttonLoomered - Laura LoomerOn Writing - Stephen KingModern Whore - Andrea WerhunContact me: demetra@demetragray.com

Jordan & I talk about our choice to live on a little island in a 120-year-old house, what we love about it and what we dislike, the many factors that go into choosing where to live, the underbelly of fantasies of ways of living, & how there are always going to be parts you don't like of things you want in life.

I talk about how our trip to Mexico was, having our home deep cleaned while we were away, my lab results and a general health discussion/update, how I get on schedule when coming back from a trip (food, routines, and everything else), the food I'm making this week, how I schedule cooking and meal plan. My books:Click here for my books!

Jordan and Demetra answer some of your questions more in depth about our sex life and about how we feel about drugs & alcohol. We talk about our past experiences with psychedelics and other drugs, how we feel about them now (spoiler alert: we don't do any), how we relate to alcohol, the different seasons of sex in our 5 years of relationship, why one of our intentions for the year is to have more sex, the longest we've gone without having sex, our different tastes in music, why Led Zeppelin is a shared love, how much we love music, & how we sometimes play and sing together. Improv movie mentioned: "Trust Us, This is All Made Up" with David Pasquesi and T.J. JagodowskiIG: @demetragray__ demetragray.com

Jordan and I talk about the difference in our types of goals, having structure in the day, writing more & walking more, reading 100 books, comedy, enjoying where we are, cinnamon challenge, chuck roast stew, stories, who is more stubborn, home vs hot relationships, & more

I share all about the difficulties that come with being an enneagram 7, the challenges of trying to be a minimalist when you are a maximalist, why my intention of the year is to focus, how I end up knowing so much about so many different things, being curious and Facebook groups, why I care about poetry, changing my last name, a story/rant about Airbnb (which by the way, an update - I won the dispute!!), integrating anger, and having a sense of justice*sorry the audio got a tiny bit weird in the middle, hope it's not too bad!

In this episode Demetra talks about:Reflecting on the past year & preparing for the year aheadBeing diagnosed with the autoimmune disorder of rheumatoid arthritis and the whole storyCIRS: chronic inflammatory response syndromeThe genetic, environmental, emotional, & psychological components of autoimmune diseasesSome of the symptoms she's had and the process of getting diagnosedThe choice to not do medication for the moment but to still incorporate western medicine into her teamIndependent health researchers & metabolismLyme disease, chronic infections, & how some people treat autoimmune disease with antibioticsBiotoxin contribution; covid, tick-born illness, mold, environmental exposureTrauma & the nervous systemAnger, people-pleasing, & the autoimmune personalityNutritional components & homeopathyHaving a torn meniscus & where that fits in to all of thisForming a team and being the one in charge of your own healthBeing willing to go on this journey**this is Demetra sharing her own experience and what she's learning. It is not medical advice!

Jordan & Demetra hang out and talk about many different things including: Jordan's list of his favorite funny things Demetra has ever said, how we're sick of the polarity world and how fragile people's polarity seems to be, changing with your partner, beauty culture and hair, botox, nails, & makeup, and our journeys with coffee.

Jordan & Demetra talk about their adventures getting a Christmas tree together, how they have been massively re-evaluating everything the last couple months, how Jordan overcame his fear of flying, Demetra's diagnosis of an autoimmune disorder and the feeling of needing to be strong for everyone, how much Demetra loves Taylor Swift, both of our experiences with homeopathy, our different high school experiences, how Demetra got ISS, & Jordan being a peer counselor.

In this episode I tell you about why I deleted most of my past stuff from the podcast/my website, talk about the transition from coach>cult>myself, tell stories about my maximalist design group drama and free speech, and how I am letting myself have all my feelings now and letting go of dumb new age beliefs.Weekly episodes are back - stay tuned!

Last September I made a podcast called "why I left my spiritual community." After I shared it, the leader told me that I would be hearing from her lawyer if I did not take the podcast down. Now I have realized that I was in what I believe to be a spiritual cult. I also have realized, after receiving a cease & desist letter because of my recent Instagram posts, that I never did anything wrong by making my initial podcast. So in this episode, I tell you what's happening now with my journey, and I also put that episode I made last fall, back up so you can listen to the whole thing. Episode transcript: https://demetragray.com/75-why-i-left-a-spiritual-cult/ My Instagram: instagram.com/demetragray__

For the past decade I have been sharing my life online. All of my thoughts, my processes, my opinions. My entire journey, my travels, my successes and creations and missteps.This was fueled mostly by my need to express. To be all of me in the world. To say the things that people shied away from saying. There have been many times I have taken a break from social media. Either because it was deleted and taken away from me, or because I needed to feel myself without it, for a little while.But there is this feeling that has been coming up for me lately, getting louder and louder and more.. pressing.And it doesn't have anything to do with social media, not specifically.I always felt like no matter what happened, I would continue sharing myself. In the same way I had always done.And... I don't want to anymore.This episode is a deeper explanation of that to wrap up Season 1. To read the piece I wrote about it: https://demetragray.com/an-internal-cocoon/To join my email list (the best place to receive very occasional updates): demetragray.com/newsletterTo join the Circle (where I still teach with my husband): jordangrayconsulting.com/circle

In March 2021, I began what I termed my "food journey," a journey of eating more food and seeing what happened. In June of that year, I went "all in," to heal an eating disorder I realized I had. During this process, I gained 115 lbs, my weight plauteaued for about 9 months, and then I started losing weight, having now lost 50 lbs. I have documented my journey the whole way through, and in this 2 year episode, I share what I wish I did differently and the things I know now that I didn't know then. Links:demetragray.com/newsletterdemetragray.com/food-journey

As I prepare to get pregnant (hopefully this year) I've been thinking about this time of "pre-conception" that isn't talked about too much, and what it means to intentionally get pregnant in a world that doesn't treat it as sacred as much anymore. I talk about everyone I'm working with and what I'm doing - nutrition, movement, house stuff, clothing, emotional processing, & more. Links:Email list: demetragray.com/newsletterFood journey article: https://demetragray.com/food-journey/Nutrition: instagram.com/wildlyonswellnessHomeopathy: instagram.com/theripenedheartGNM: instagram.com/freyakellet

Jordan and I share about our trip to see my family in the States, how we went to the trampoline park, our competitiveness and funny stories of what happened there, the differences between Canada and America that we both notice and how we relate to being in each country, and how our trip is going. Links:Join the Circle: jordangrayconsulting.com/circleEmail list: demetragray.com/newsletter

A little check-in from my car while we are traveling! I'm here with my Mom in South Carolina, and I got my actual period for the first time in almost a year and a half (after bleeding for all that time without cycling). I talk about ovulating for the first time, painful periods, not being afraid of messing up our health, getting ready to have a baby, relationships with family and healing meaning that we don't get activated, what we packed to eat on the plane, my attitude when having to eat out a bunch and not feeling as great… just a ton of random little updates! Links:The Circle (& the healing your relationship to the masculine workshop): jordangrayconsulting.com/circleNew (additional) IG: instagram.com/healingwithmenEmail list: demetragray.com/newsletter

Since I was a little girl I have felt a deep connection to the Earth around me, one where I would let the rocks and the trees hold me when I felt sad and was able to communicate with them. I believe we all have this ability, it is our birthright on Earth, and when we soften and open to receiving from the land around us we can be so nourished and trust life so much more deeply. I tell some stories from my life, of moments when I have felt the Earth hold me and why this has been so deeply important.Links: Email list: demetragray.com/newsletterJoin the Circle with me & Jordan: jordangrayconsulting.com/circle

Jordan & I talk about how the pickup world and how he started his inner work there in his early 20s, how I used to hate men and not trust them and how that changed, how we both got into polarity and how the polarity world is just largely playing out wounding. We also talk about the idea of always being open to sex, bringing our full selves to relationship and what that looks like, men crying in front of women, what is really missing about traditional masculinity and femininity and why that is appealing to so many…. and more!Links:Heal Your Relationship to the Masculine / Join the Circle: jordangrayconsulting.com/circle

My project for the year is renovating & redoing every single room of our home and it has begun! Spending thousands of dollars on pillows, rug shopping, random things about shelving we're adding, the way the ceiling goes, what I'm thinking about it all, how many decisions go into making a room feel like a home, my color choices, will anything go together? And more. Links:Email list: demetragray.com/newsletterThe Circle: jordangrayconsulting.com/circle

I recently hired a somatic therapist, so in this episode I decided to talk about how I know when I need different types of support. I talk about my journey with different types of therapy, how I choose a therapist, therapy and coaching serving different purposes, not spending too much time “fixing” yourself, and what it feels like sensationally in my body when I know I need some more support in moving through what is coming up. Our culture has a lot of emphasis lately on self-sufficiency and I touch on how to know when to hold something yourself and when it's important to have support.Links:Email list: demetragray.com/newsletterJoin the Circle: jordangrayconsulting.com/circle

A hallmark of maturity is being able to have hard conversations. In this episode I give a few different examples from my own life and break down how exactly I approached each person. I talk about being firm and kind, the perspective to take when having a conversation like this with someone, what to do before and during the conversation to make sure it goes as well as possible, and the importance of telling the truth. I also talk about what happens when we grow up with a lot of good girl conditioning and how we can swing the pendulum to being too intense, and how to find the balance in the center. Links:jordangrayconsulting.com/evolutionoflove

We all need words of affirmation, even if (and sometimes especially when) we don't think we do. Jordan & I talk about how we praise each other in our marriage. For me, gratitude and sharing it out loud was not innate, and I share how I learned it from Jordan and how I relate to it, and Jordan shares how it feels for him. We talk about what to do when your partner is resistant or says "you shouldn't need that." Praise, thanks, and gratitude are some of the best ways to make your relationship stronger and more resilient in the long run. Links:Join Evolution of Love & The Circle: https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/evolutionoflove/

Every year I choose a word to symbolize the energy and theme of the year. This word isn't really a conscious choice so much as it is the word that feels most true, what life is asking me to learn about. My word for this year was Wealth, and I talked about what I gained and what I lost, reorienting to what matters most to me and how I will want to have lived when it's time for me to go. I also touch on how to choose your own word for the year and how to use this as a tool to examine your life. Join the email list: demetragray.com/newsletter

A big life update! In this episode I talk about what we are doing for Christmastime, all the snow that came here to our little island, how Jordan and I relate to gifts and gift giving, what has changed in our house and how different this winter is than last winter. I also talk quite a bit about how I am writing a book and what that process has been like for me, when I write, what it feels like, and how I have almost 14,000 words already. And I talk about my relationship to writing and share the story of my 5th grade award winning poem. demetragray.com/newsletter

What is projection? This episode explores the way our minds create stories and see the world according to our beliefs about ourselves and about others. I give many examples from my own life with friends, strangers on the internet, and how this shows up in my relationship with my husband. Whether we have a story that something is wrong with us, that people don't like us, that people think we're unattractive - all of this will shape the way we show up and experience the world. We often end up creating the thing we are most afraid of in the first place. Follow me on InstagramJoin the email list: demetragray.com/newsletter

When I was 19, my younger brother was in a car accident that left him with a TBI (traumatic brain injury). I tell the story of my experience of this, what that day was like for me, and what Damon's recovery was like. I also talk about the subsequent years of my life, how I experienced more loss, and what I made that mean. How I grieved and healed my anxiety and learned to feel my emotions effectively. I also talk about tending a fire and thinking of my life in decades and the shift from short-term thinking into long-term.11 yearsthe ultimate guide to processing emotions in a healthy wayjoin my email list here

When I met Jordan I immediately understood all the reasons I had never had a relationship with someone like him before. I was terrified to be seen so deeply and to be with someone who lived in the world in the same way I did. In this episode I talk through my relationship history, from being called a “slut” in my younger years, my first love and the patterns that continued through my twenties, feeling like I always wanted more and something was wrong with me, and what it felt like to finally choose myself fully. I also talk about the beginning of my relationship with Jordan and the parts that were excruciatingly difficult for me, where I wanted to push him away, and what I needed to shift in order to be really ready.demetragray.com

Jordan joins me for this episode where we discuss how we handle conflict and our sex life! We break down what conflict looked like at the beginning of our relationship, what it looks like now, and the different philosophies and tools we use so that we have a largely conflict-free relationship. We also talk about our sex life and how we've changed from being all about frequent hot sex into caring more about the depth of our sexual connection, and sex being less frequent. We also answer some other questions from listeners, like how we're thinking about starting a family, homeschooling, and developing community in rural areas. Links:New website: demetragray.comJordan's article: https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/101-things-i-love-about-my-wife/

Take a bath with me as I contemplate turning 30, my life, and life in general. I talk about being done with spiritually seeking and evolving, 4 years of business and shutting my programs down, razors and shaving, shipping things to Canada, I review the book Verity by Colleen Hoover, talk about reading in general, and a bunch of other random things!Links:Article: Turning 30 and the loss of my innocencedemetragray.com/newsletter

When we first bought this home we fell in love with the uniqueness and character of it. Now that we've lived in it for a year we are ready to paint. I was going to go with a more neutral palette… but then I wanted a raspberry living room, and periwinkle doors, and everything has started to fall into place from there. I have been fascinated by color for the last year and a half and I talk through personal color palettes (in terms of fashion), how everything is trending neutral, how the ancient marble statues used to be painted, and how I am letting myself have a fun and cheerful home. Links:Email list: demetranyx.com/newsletter

Jordan joins me for this episode to talk about the last year of our lives! We've been in our new house for a year now and we share what has been different than we expected. We also talk about learning things over time and the nature of growth, how we are entering yet another new phase of how we relate to our businesses with Jordan making more money and me resting to prepare to get pregnant, how it's felt to be married for 8 months, the beauty of life, and more. Links:Email list: demetranyx.com/newsletter

Last week a 23-year-old woman wrote to me to describe where she was at in her own food journey. She had gone “all in,” ate all the things, gained some weight… but was worried that she had messed it up somehow because her brain sometimes still focuses on appearance and she gets stressed about how to choose what to eat. This is a spot I understand deeply from my own journey and so this episode is dedicated to addressing these points for her and for anyone else who receives something from it. Anxiety is super common with eating disorders and we have to be careful about the ways it transfers into the recovery process. And unlike some online coaches like to claim, there does come a point where learning how to intentionally nourish our bodies is important. Links: Email list: demetranyx.com/newsletter Food journey: https://demetranyx.com/food-journey/ (demetranyx.com/food-journey/) Nutritionists to follow: Laura Lyons: https://www.instagram.com/wildlyonswellness/ (@wildlyonswellness) Annika Duden: https://www.instagram.com/iamannikanicole/ (@iamannikanicole) Jessica Ash: https://www.instagram.com/jessicaashwellness/ (@jessicaashwellness )

My dad and I were like “oil and water” as he says when I was younger. Through trauma in our family and my parents splitting up, I ended up cutting him out of my life entirely for a few months, and we had a rocky relationship for years. Now my dad is one of my favorite people on the planet and we have a really smooth and loving relationship. In this episode he tells some entertaining stories from his life, and we talk about him as a child and him as a parent, the shifts our relationship has gone through and how we both view that differently, and how our relationship healed. There are some really tender moments in here and places where you can hear some of the pain we have caused each other, and also the love that ultimately carried us through it all.

Walk with me through the forest while I talk about identities. Identities are these labels we try on.. like I am a person who likes this, I am a person who does this, I am a person who is this way, who is valuable because I am this thing. In a lot of my work we question and let go of identities and our attachment to them - but in this episode I talk about why they are also important, and in the context of a grounded human life why we really do get to choose who we are and who we become. I also talk about my own journey through different identities, especially through the lens of various businesses I've owned.

It's a few weeks into fall (at least here in my part of the world) and life is shifting to match. Humans go through the same cycles as the earth, and even though most of our world lives in an endless summer (eventually leading to burnout), we will feel most at home and most energized in life when we allow ourselves to match the earth around us. I talk about how my cravings are changing with the fall weather, what we're eating and how I stay ahead with making meals, and moving our bodies this time of year. I also talk about active rest - meaning rest that involves doing something, and how this is helping me. And we talk about letting things die and the importance of endings. Links: Email list: demetranyx.com/newsletter

It makes me laugh that I am even writing the title of this episode because I have been so anti- all of this for most of my life that part of me feels like I am betraying myself. Like, what do you mean you are saying structure and routine is good?! But I have gradually been adding in more structure and scheduling into my life and it has been so nourishing and so grounding for me that I want to share it with you. I talk about what it has been like to set my life up in a way where I am accountable to no one, the benefits and drawbacks of that, and why and how I am adding that in now by choice. I also talk about hiring an accountability coach and what it feels like to have people on my team. Links: Email list: demetranyx.com/newsletter

A little over a month ago I completed two years with my previous teacher. Since that time I have separated from her and the community, and different pieces of my time there have started to unravel as I process it all. It does not feel aligned for me to be part of it anymore, which has been a difficult decision for me. In this episode I give some insight into what has come up for me in leaving and what I see now that I couldn't see before. It was also a beautiful two years that I have a lot of gratitude for, and I talk through the mixed feelings I have around it. I also talk about why it is important to take space away from your coaches/teachers, what happens when we separate, and why discernment even with people you trust is important.  Links: Email list: demetranyx.com/newsletter

I still have Covid so this is another update from my hotel room bed! I talk about what it was like to get sick while away in Pennsylvania, the different transitions that are happening in my life and my business, and the journey of rebranding my business. I also talk about how much energy people typically spend reacting to life and being in opposition to life, and the difference between this and being in acceptance and approval of life. When we are in acceptance we are able to create.  Links: Email list: demetranyx.com/newsletter

This is a very short update full of lots of giggles, Jordan & me coughing, and me sharing some tender pieces of life right now. We'll be back next week with regular episodes! Links: Email list: demetranyx.com/newsletter