Podcasts about fms

Today's guest is Rett Larson, strength coach for the German Women's Volleyball Team and creator of the "No Zombies" training philosophy. Rett coached Olympic medalists with China and the Netherlands, blending energy, rhythm, and purposeful movement into world-class performance. As sport expands into an increasingly more high-pressure, early specialization event that can easily suck fun and joy away, there grows a need for a "counter-culture" within athletic performance. Not only does a "physical preparation" process for athletes that is joyful and gamified lead to more fun within a training session, but it also develops important athletic qualities, within that umbrella of "fun" that may not be possible in more "traditional" sessions. Rett Larson is spearheading an active, engaging approach to the physical preparation process for athletes with warmups designed for joy, engagement, and a comprehensive stimulation of athletic qualities along the way. On today's episode, Rett speaks on a variety of engaging tools and gamifications in the warmup process for both thermogenic and neurological preparation. He goes into his take on partner exercises and isometrics, and the process of using a physical challenge to "sneak" strength and skill elements in the program. Today's episode is brought to you by Hammer Strength and LILA Wearable Resistance Gear. Use the code "justfly25" for 25% off any Lila Exogen wearable resistance training, including the popular Exogen Calf Sleeves. For this offer, head to Lilateam.com View more podcast episodes at the podcast homepage. (https://www.just-fly-sports.com/podcast-home/) Timestamps 6:12- Enhancing Athlete Performance through Innovative Training 20:06- Rope Flow in the Warmup Process 25:19- Team Bonding through Partner Exercises and Gamification 29:39- Athletic Development through Diverse Warm-Ups 31:24- Engaging Training Games for Athletic Development 38:00- Enhancing Motor Learning Through Novel Activities 48:14- Isometric and "Sneaky Strength" Exercises 54:50- Tennis Balls as a Powerful Warmup Tool 1:05:36- Animal-Inspired Safari Warmup Routine 1:14:35- Dynamic Movement Enhancement with Wearable Resistance Gear Key Takeaways 1️⃣ Rethinking Training Norms: Breaking the Script Let's be honest—starting the season with FMS testing or default punishments like push-ups feels like a missed opportunity. Rett challenges that default. Why not flip the script? Start with something that actually taps into the nervous excitement athletes bring into day one. Instead of draining that spark, use it to build buy-in. What to try: • Kick things off with a creative team challenge instead of movement screens. • Replace punishments with something silly but memorable (e.g., team serenade or worm dance). • Avoid singling people out—no solo singing for introverts. The goal is laughter, not dread. 2️⃣ Rope Flow: Movement Puzzles that Stick If you've ever tried rope flow, you know it's strangely addicting. Rett uses it as a warm-up tool that hits thermogenic, rotational, and coordination qualities all in one. It's essentially a moving puzzle—and that makes it ideal for getting athletes out of zombie mode. What to try: • Add rope flow sequences early in warm-ups to raise body temp and spark engagement. • Mix in new patterns over time so it stays fresh. • Think of it as "motor learning meets party trick"—athletes love that feeling of leveling up. 3️⃣ Partner Work and Social Pressure: The Good Kind Warm-ups don't have to be solo grinds. In fact, the social element is part of the magic. Whether it's balloon volleys in a split squat or partner wall sits, Rett uses simple tools to inject teamwork, laughter, and just the right amount of peer pressure. What to try: • Design partner or trio-based warm-up drills to naturally boost effort and engagement. • Add tasks or games that distract from the burn (like volleying a balloon while holding a lunge).

Back in high school, I was that kid—the one who planned elaborate treasure hunt parties for my friends. I loved the thrill of creating a roadmap and leading them from clue to clue, always pointing to the next step.  And honestly? That's what a great thank you page does, too. A wise mentor once told me, "You're always taking your people somewhere..." In this episode, we're talking about the most underutilized page in farm marketing—your thank you page. Whether it appears after someone signs up for your email list or buys your product, your thank you page isn't just a courtesy… it's a powerful moment in your customer's journey.

What happens when a total city girl decides to go all-in on the homesteading life… and ends up building a full-blown farm business from scratch? In this episode, I sit down with Beth DeClerq, a self-taught homesteader who started out just wanting to be self-sufficient—and ended up creating a profitable farm business that's now helping her family build toward a full-time income. Beth didn't grow up farming. She had zero experience with animals or agriculture. But one step at a time—raising chickens, gardening, milking a cow, selling eggs—she figured it out. And along the way, her neighbors started asking if they could buy from her. Fast forward to today, and Beth is scaling her farm operation, growing an online membership that teaches homesteading skills, and using the early bird sales system she learned from this podcast to sell out her pastured poultry… before they've even hit the freezer.

durée : 00:03:48 - L'info d'ici, ici Gascogne - Journée spéciale "ici ça marche" sur le réseau "ici". Nous avons choisi de mettre un coup de projecteur sur une success story landaise, celle de FMS, Facility Multi Services, une entreprise adaptée basée à Saint-Geours-de-Maremne.

Mamá Brito foi o convidado do episódio #331do Mundo da Luta. Idealizador do Fight Music Show, o empresário falou sobre a ideia de criar um evento como o FMS, contou algumas histórias dos bastidores e explicou como as lutas são casadas e vendidas ao público. Com Ana Hissa, Carlos Antunes e Vitória Lemos. Dá o play!

Van slimme dermatoscopen tot de overname van administratieve taken. In deze aflevering duiken we in de wereld van AI met Merel Huisman (radioloog en lid van de commissie AI van de FMS) en Marlies Wakkee (dermatoloog in het Erasmus MC en onderzoeker). Hoe verandert AI de zorg? Welke soorten AI zijn er (generatief vs. diagnostische AI)? En wat kunnen we binnen de dermatologie verwachten in de komende vijf jaar? We bespreken de kansen, wetgeving en uitdagingen. Luister nu en ontdek hoe AI en dermatologen steeds nauwer moeten gaan samenwerken!Onze shownotes:- EU- act link:https://artificialintelligenceact.eu/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Future-of-Life-InstituteAI-Act-overview-30-May-2024.pdf- FMS kennisavonden AI link:https://demedischspecialist.nl/themas/thema/artificial-intelligence-ai- ZonMw toekomstbestendige zorg met AI:https://www.zonmw.nl/sites/zonmw/files/2025-03/AI-signalement.pdf 

Today in Lighting is brought to you by Halco Lighting, where they strive to be your 1st choice as a lighting technology partner! Learn more. Highlights today include: Paula Martinez-Nobles Rises from Intern to President at FMS, Light for Life: Bridging Science and Design at Euroluce, Reimagining Michelangelo's Pietà, Why Diversity Matters in Lighting: DEI Strategies That Work, Call for Nominations for the 2026 IES Board of Directors.

[A beautiful dog enters the palace; C'esme't is pleased—actually, more thrilled.] Now! (Yo!) [The Dog sits at the entrance.] Call to me. [he speaks from the mind (telepathically) with a familiar tonal voice] Come, sweet stranger! [The Dog approaches] For it is I, the King who walks as not a ghost For yet the call has spoken that I be your loyal shadow (it's me; the King. I've been called to watch over you) Then? (Elaborate.) For now I came as waked dost I as ghost and wandered, pity and pardoned by no army dared Aghast my throne And agape my eyes, Wide my mouth and nostrils, Disemboweled and yet, I did wake with my fortune And tidings in my kingdom, a hidden realm, For there slayed, as I wept, The others dared to swallow, This truth, I, as knight and pawn doth slay the Queen, For titled King no friend of mine; And now, this beast as blood dost froth, My mind does waste, but here I bark Fortunate! To be laid by as you, I will. Then, creature, as you may! For free, this I, And coming not the time I shall l awaken, And then, though, Does the true challenge to bear, The altar; the stone, the shield and the rope From which I pull, and thee shall fight. Marriage of souls. To fancy this beast, betrayeth not. For something barks as is an end As a man does call a lover friend And so lover-friend I am and shall be. Lol what the fuck. So he's a dog now. ‍♀️ wtf is going on in this show. Idk. I'm baked. Enter The Multiverse L E G E N D S: Manifest Destiny ‍♂️ Ascension: Enter the Multiverse The titles switched. Good idea. So maybe I should stick with t mobile? Idk. Mint mobile is 15 dollars a month for unlimited talk and text. HERE AND NOW I DECREE, THIS FEAST DOES NOURISH ALL OUR MINDS AND HEARTS TO FIGHT THE GOOD WAR AGAINST ALL HE WHO SQUANDER THE MERCY OF PEACE! TO COURAGE! lol you lost me. I'm grasping at strings here. I needs a means to an end I need a body bag, body bag I need a King and a dog And a cat and an owl And a mark and a dawn And a knife and a gun Call it what you want I was not at the rock But that's where I was going I'm lost in Omaha I was just on the dark With the dark and the walkers The king and the rabbit The facts and the stalkers But who sunk the boat? Who sunk the boat Now this is encouragement! Acknowledgements? Nothing yet. Disaster strikes obvious and No regrets But obvious I'm in it for the long run And it transpired for the job done But the waffles came out awful And crispier than I wanted Almost every time So I took the iron back to target And I know I came out with a double album in August But I got no promotions So I won't walk the carpet So I won't walk the carpet I know I know I'm no Joan Rivers Or Joan of ark so I won't talk the gossip I won't talk the gossip I won't talk the gossip Now, more followers Show boat, Throw him overboard into a rowboat With no paddles And horseshoes on em— That outta show ‘em Rondevouz Rob us all Noah's Ark Don't get so lost in the story Lost in the sory Lost in the LORNE MICHAELS …you caused this. [In a secret lab inside of 30 Rock, A group of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE alumni are trapped inside a metal box; this room has no doors and no windows and seems to be amplifying thought frequencies each of them hears uniquely, but distinctly, and very, very loudly. This is due to the irrefutable fact that they are all gifted telepaths, due to having served time often looking into the lenses of live broadcast cameras. it is theorized that, because of this anomaly— a strange and untraceable signal seeming to intercept all of Rockefeller Plaza's Radio antennae transmissions, it may be an unknown extraterrestrial force attempting to comminicste with 30 Rock from space. On this day, they've been gathered and trapped here in an emergency focus group to attempt to remedy the problem. Haha. MAKE IT STOP. OH MY GOD WHAT IS THST, WHYYYYYYYYY! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYHY!!! Craters full of lullabies and dictionary definitions; Tense intimate interactions, and now, this hypertension. I have a secret, a dirty little secret. I didn't do it! It wasn't me! Hmm..okay–vouch. I'm telling you–wait– vouch? Yeah, I vouch. You're vouching me? I'm vouching you. She's vouching me. She vouched you. So i'm good? You're good. I'm good. You're good. Ok. SETH MEYERS is the best secret keeper in the entirety of the known and unknown multiverse. The respective deities and entities within the outer realms have taken notice to this; One of the world's greatest eve played game has become the ritualistic endeavor of tracking down this human in order to attempt to overwhelm him so that he might eventually crack or implode, or even acknowledge these sometimes outrageous events and otherworldly happenings; thus far, he has not. As of recently, the elders of the darkest deities from the furthest outer realms and legions of Hell have been taking this game with the now very famous and successful seth meyers, a popular TV host; this has elevated the e ntirety of the threshold for Seth's tolerance, and it appears he may soon be pushed to crack. So why are you on the wire? I atrophied at extravagant Tip toed in the tip ties; Til' then, i went there, Now summer starts in winter Now summer starts in winter Now summer starts in winter Pull the curtain back, Then you censor this Censor this! I pull the curtain back, then redact then redact don't react don't react It's an act it's an act Shit I pull the curtain back then I bow; It's a show now Pull the curtain back then I show, It's a showdown Listen up, Listen down I super blow my flow now, super bowl my pronouns You can't lose if you don't pick a team You can't win if you don't even play I can't pay you if I don't get a paycheck I can't work at it if it's not fame Oh no! I can't work at it if it's not fame. The isms is the synthesis; I only got one present for christmas When you [can] Take that spark and bury it in your heart, don't remark about it– Then, probably you're a comic Or an alcoholic, one of the two of them Wrong not to touch, then Willed you back into existence And still it's in exigence, and Guilty by association Guilty by association I just want to know what the current Tonight Show budget is for hair dye. Also wondering why JImmy's suit is grey, but his hair isn't? Is that a two in one? Honest to God my only question about this man. The rest can remain as mystery. Act V Part II Guilty By Association Sometimes I Stevie Wonder what you're up to; I can't see you but I know you're in my aura Sometimes I Richard Pryor while you're on my mind; I guess you could say you set my soul on fire My, my my Look what time it is I've only just begun to know you; Then I had to dieSo turn the light off My eye Turn the light off for awhile And follow me to darkness Follow me To the other side. It's not true, but it'll do I might have lost you somewhere Better off to leave you somewhere sure; If it's not pure And how could it be When only the light hits the snow And bounces off The warmth is an illusion, And your love is just a dream And anyway, anyway There's nothing i've ever been surer of Than the definite end, The enter and exit And when planets align, Only to fall completely out of orbit Now what was this for again Foreigner, object identified and destroyed it's destructive qualities, Tentative in a nature Sure, pressure– Resentment, Intense good moments of pleasure, Then signals sent Completely by accident. -Now that i've been thinking lately of Bill Murray And my formerly imaginary friend Riff Raff, Now i'm sure that There may be some telepathy involved Which means I should probably just– Go somewhere else now. Should I be sorry for my thoughts? I'd rather not, But still YO. Yo dude, what the fuck. I'VE BEEN STUCK IN THIS MOVIE FOR LIKE A YEAR. That's not that long… IT'S A LONG TIME TO BE IN A MOVIE. Please don't tear me to pieces; Don't blow the balloon up, No foul ball, No side eye No fowl play And dinner is as cold as it gets But dinner does warm In the aluminum foil, But all out of order, The border patrol is just Digging for details Digging for details. And it's this: You don't know what it is, Until you get into it, And it sets into you The only way it can When it's in you. Are you paying attention to this? Or can I just end it? Boston accents or what, And now i really think It's just inside my head It's just inside my head and This is getting weird. All of a sudden, I'm oh wonder and I love it And Sara Silverman has The prettiest brown eyes I've ever seen (on a celebrity) ((with whom I share a gender)) Aha. Okay, Sabrina Carpenter has a very pretty voice But that doesn't make me Any less jealous Or any less capable of explosion Disarm me I'm catching up on the specials I missed Being special I guess With no grocery subscription Aim low, Get high, I guess Rob Lowe, Build time, I guess I miss the old announcer, And the golden years I miss the former times And the mouse ears I learned my less I might got Kim K and TSwift Pointer Finger Could hold a tune to you, Who The joys of live theatre, And the catastrophe of the Impenetrable Boy oh boy is Television getting heavy Turn up the ridiculousness and Atrocious Atrocities and Acidophilus Anorexic, I wish i could digest this –and expand my vocabulary I wish I was better than I am So i could be Capable Can Kim Kardashian ever not just be Naturally beautiful at everything Doing everything Kim The J I can't sing in this apartment And it might actually kill me The devil lives next door on both sides I'm in a satan sandwich I guess I'm just Not free I must have fucked up last lifetime I must have fucked up last lifetime I might have looked just like her I want to get upstaged by Eddie Murphy More corpse suits! Pink lipstick! Slap the desk Check the camera Front loading! Front loading! I want a chance at humbling white america (just kidding) I want a wig that looks like an afro (cause I don't have one) I want Lorne Michaels to shame me into beng better By making me feel mediocre first So I hit the high bar When I hit the body bag I hit the body bag When I hit the high road With Letterman YOU STOLE MY BODY TO GO TO A BLACK TIE FUNCTION!? Yeah. Well–which one? Okay, you're gonna get a kick out of this. I'm giddy for physical comedy THIS IS MY MANIFEST DESTINY MY MANIFEST DESTINY AHHHHHHHH MY MANIFEST DESTINAAAAAAA Comedy comes in all forms And God comes in all Karma I brace myself for repeating my mantras I light candles But don't blow them out I just might get my wish DO NOT RESIST. I AM RESISTING THIS ARREST. Oh yeah. YES. Shoot him. NO, DON'T. SHOOT HIM, BILLY BOB, SHOOT ‘EM. Crocodile hunter turned hard-up cop Read him his rights! He ain't white enough. So she's perfect! Me? I've been taken in I can't stand to stamp I can't christmas, Backwards And backwash And sanford and sons And Whatever And… Ego might eat me like Eggos Like Hannibal Burress was holding At the market I left my Ego at the door But there's just no room for the both For the both of us I KNOW I'll just write her a hit show! What. YES. THEN, SHE'LL LEAVE SNL, AND THEN I'LL BE THE BLACK GIRL ON THE SHOW MWAAHAHAHAHAHA Ok. wtf happened to that girl? SUNNI BLU [kicking and screaming] I TOLD YOU I'M NOT GOING ON FA– —-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! So many beautiful people, or, rather The actors, Or should I say Vortex Then. Too many beautiful people I spent the whole night warm and holed up in the office What could come out of The Rock I don't know where to look I'm not used to the audience Duh, that. I'm a professional audience member But i don't remember the ending Anybody? Anybody? Any envy actor actress? BPM: Dosage Anxiety Remix Honestly fuck the comed circut I just want to know what it's like to have a body What's it like to have a body? I'm just a collective consciousness robot Adapting to my environment I can't sing in this apartment! I'm in a Satan Sandwich And would be The God in the middle If God didn't find this Absolutely hilarious So I'm on 24 hours; You're on Saturday Nights, But i'm on 24 I broke my Don't-look up-folks rule on Brittney Howard Cause I think i'm just like herBut more of a coward. You're on Saturday Night Live But i'm on 24 Hours It hurts longer And stronger Every moment I'm gone And still not a mom I wish I could change my eyes The color of the world Before it all ends Earth gone And oceans of mud No tide And no moon (The Earth without the Sun) I don't want to know you I don't want to owe you a lesson. I don't want to go there. I don't want no dance numbers. I don't want no GOATS here. No goats here. I don't get it, Mass Media– Is this flattery, or Deception? Humiliation? Based in perception, I see, so Is this recognition or Did I just send Dillon Francis my script in the beginning? No answer, by God. What an asshole What if Alienz Don't like lesbians. What is trance is just bad dance music. That's… What if edifice breaks for a daily regimen of Letterman? What if RUN, FALLON, RUN! I'M ATTACHED TO A KITE I HAVE NO CONTROL OF THIS. WELL, WHAT IS IT ATTACHED TO?! YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW! —NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Look, It's Meryl Streep! Holy shit, Meryl Streep is hot. What.(I can't keep secrets>) God doesn't keep good secrets. Just stop talking. Look, It's “My Bad Chad” Holyfuck Are you gonna have all those burned off too? Or can I do it for you? (might cost less) Jk Kim K That's a tough act to follow. Ariana? Nah, Backup; Had that. Meanwhile: Me in a hatchback Campin' at the Palisades. My name's the hammer –Adam ruins everything– I am not goin' starstruck –Adam Ruins Everything– My name's the Hammer (I'm a hammer, damn) –Adam Ruins Everything– I love showbiz But I got hard work comin on Now pause:: I need a break Need to make money Now i get a two for one Two for one Hate me or love me Either way, I'm gonna show up, Blow up, Glow up, And fuck off I'm a lost cause Cause I lost God On a talk show The way the camera moves makes me nauseous virtual reality And everybody's mad at me for Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy Conan “snowball” O'Brien But why's he called that. Shh! Not Yet. Oh, you are so overdone and fucked right now! Shh! My mom might be listening. Like she's never heard the word ‘fuck'? Shhhh! MOM I heard that! See! She said she heard it; she didn't say stop it. Well stop it. Fuck me man! SHH. KNOCK IT OFF. Yes Mrs. Mason Who the fuck is Mrs. Mason. Come on, white america; Put me on late night I promise you I'll watch more hallmark artists Than all of them Every day over here is a suit and tie function Camera one? YOU DONE FUCKED WITH US FOR THE LAST TIME. Ah shit. lol . whart is thrus. Fucking–magicians or something. Freemasons. F– Alright. Where is he? Where is who? You know who! What? Donaghey!!!!!!!! Lol Alec Baldin is like 200 years old. *cackles too hard, falls over and dies* Yikes. JACK DONAGHEY enters from a Parallel dimension and sees ALEC BALDWIN'S CORPSE. …Huh. Who's this handsome son of a bitch, I wonder. Don't wonder too hard. We gotta find that court order and get out of here. What court order [Cort hors d'oeuvres] what. I don't know. It almost kind of rhymed with corpse and wonder and I'm still stuck writing in cadences. What for! Oh wow, the neighbor was really a plant forreal. STOP SLAMMIN THAT Yo fuck this. Waht the fuck am I supposed to do with all this information. [appearing entirely out of nowhere, as always.] JIMMY FALLON I told you to burn it. OH MY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST. STOP DOING THAT. I can't. That's– Apparently what I do. WELL GET OUT OF HERE. Wish I could. Strapped to a kite. THEN HOW ARE YOU STANDING HERE? WHAT? I'm learning a lot of things up there! UP–WHERE! Up yours. WHAT. *poofs* UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I hate him. I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM. I hate this. TINA FEY Fuckit, he hates himself. Lets just assume. No, that's it. That's the singularity. What. It can't– He's just so confi— That's the singularity. [everything ploofs back to normal] See. I win. FUCK. ARE YOU SERIOUS!? I'M YOUNG AGAIN. i”M YOUNG AGAIN. [The entire cast stares at their returned to period-accurately aged cast mate; He appears so confident and wise, however–just a glint of insecurity falls over him–this indeed was the singularity; rather than to risk all of time and space defrabicating for a third and albeit final time, they rain down on their castmate, with the angry hellfire of a gregorian mob, urging him to GO LOVE YOURSELF. Long Night at work, or just Shoo fly, don't bother me– I'm more caught up on the Rudolph Storyline, How it's some mystic But I missed it With the lip stick And the vintage this and thats Person Welcome to Hogwarts, Of course, It's your funeral God bless the illuminati All I see is– NOT IT. IT WASN'T ME. I DIDN'T DO IT. JLO BITCH, STOP TALKING. Woah, What the FUCK JLO. JLO WHAT IN THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY? I–wh– Wait… Fallon? SHHHHThhHHHTHhhTHHHH!! Give me one bet Died inside Who's doing which thing God bless these envies! Gie me one shot Now who am I?Ace in the hole? I died inside. Don't break the barrier Don't run the wall Don't be the villain Fall, JImmy, Fall. To float, or to fall Or to walk away To shop at the mall Or to bet it all on Fall on And I tell you to jump, you jump! And I tell you to move, You move! And I tell you to movie, You movie! And I show you the blue OH GOD. Gimmie the binoculars! No, you don't wanna see What! Why not! HE MOONED ME. I got three of a kind Three of a kind Three of hearts Two of diamonds HAH. I DOn'T LiKE THIS. Fuck off, The Ace. And very kindly, Go fuck yourself. Four aces, Four aces A mindfuck for the both of us An open book And shotglasses And fans of ours Its good to laugh At the ones you love Love Love Love Love It's showbiz, It's showbiz; I love it I want to die. I love it I love it I missed the bar I fucked up somewhere. Don't look back in anger, Or don't look back at al. Fall, Fall, Fall Fall Fall Love Love Love Love Love Love Did you notice I haven't looked back. I put you up on a– Up on a Up on a pedestal Then remembered To forget it all, In indifference Foraged your signature Sorry, I don't want a lot of hawk-a-loogie clock-the-woman knockdown, dragout drama I got a feel for it. What if all your forfeitures were fortunes All your donuts turned subordinates To astronauts Or fake dreams for fak streams and dreaming of Don't bother me I'm on poverty I want walks on the beach and blue bunny ice cream sundaes I've got a whole city Marked off in my journal For frozen custard and Lost in a thought, are we? Trust me, I think I died. Trust me, I trusted the God of Mercy Trust me I went all the way to the burden, Bought a hammock And then worked harder than nobody No dropped calls from mother No one's home at all Work harder I thought Sweater Weather was my new DJ name, But as it turns out, It was my telepathy ringing me I rode to the top of the rock with the beatlesI didn't mean for it to be me But i was twice out of body, Once out of mind. Now give me a minute Please. Let me become indifferent Don't need no friends, Long roads Roundhouse kicks to the face Hard rolling baggage Heart shaped boxes Or Prophets Don't need dozens of roses don't need diamonds Do need dinosaursDo need phone numbers do Do do . –but don't– don't don't. When i fall in line I write books and poems, songs And suffer, slugger . This is what I struggled with– who paid the neighbor bitch to feed me the whole special And slam doors On my mental That shit struck a chord And rubbed me the wrong way But i'm humble I won't touch nobody's Body at all. Nobody's. Now my dreams make sense, kind of But why are these my dreams And not actual people and most of all What does it mean? That I'm equal to? Or lesser than? Like the emerald stone on Sir Paul McCartney's hand, I went green for a moment It's just banter.I'm just having a hard time (I can't sing in this apartment)I might need a band I might need a bandaid. I might need a bath Some peroxide and hair dye My heart's broken I'm having a hard time But still not struggling I might have a hard time But not as hard as the afterparty was, And I struck gold. Kept walking Roll dice. Four of a kind, Four kings, four aces Four of a kind, Four kites, And a night owl The Rock and the Kite, Part V STEFON It's this thing where… {Enter The Multiverse} –and that's why I wished my mom a happy birthday. [The Festival Project ™ ] Damn, the illuminati really showed out for the oscars this year. CONAN SHHHH. He even says “I Am” Then commands the stage Look at all those long legs Now we're on enclave or conclave? I don't know. I'm feeling more ravey. Tears of a Clown Nobody to save me Not even shug avery. Who? That's right? Now i'm feeling more Broadway, baby. L E G E N D S: Manifest Destiny I wanna see the snake sitting next to you; Show me those eyes I love models and the lack thereof Inside of them I want to see the feral reptile Show me those eyesI love that she flies through life Right to you Right It's a boys club Boy they Really prize these Chappel Roans and Timothee Chalemet But where am I at? –Adam Ruins Everything– A couple forced fake laughs Cause I like highlights Stagecrafts Craftservices And god knows I can't write like this And I'm About To die [CONAN O'BRIEN leaves television to run a Bed and Breakfast in ORLANDO.] INT. BED AND BREAKFAST. ORLANDO. … [Calamity ensues] Conan killed the oscars, Stole the wand, The show and the bowtie (hostses with the mostest) –and that's why he's Snowball. No, i'm sure it's because my fur is fluffy and– Okay no more outdated rick and morty references Fine. Was that Dillon Francis behind Ben Stiller Or do I still just like white guys That much. Why do A-Listers like reptiles so much? Show me those eyes, you know I could use a good lunch (Birds of Prey eat snakes) {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2018-2025 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.™ Episode Transcript: Yeah. Okay, this is terrifying. I haven't actually done this in it feels like way longer than it's been. In reality, it's only been like three like maybe three days, but it makes all the difference in the world. Hi. what's going on, I was just reminiscing about kitten mittens. Aw shit. I dropped my pen. If you remember if you're listening to this right now and you remember kittenman. congratulations, you've been with me since the beginning. um anyway, I don't know why I was just remembering that. kitten mittens. I thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world. I really I might have been delirious. losing my mind at a certain point, but I thought kittens was the best thing in the world. It was at the time. I was like I couldn't think of anything better. Then again, I was uh I don't know, I was discovering many hilarities. excuse the idiots in the back, they are idiots. um and they and they do this based on whatever I'm doing in my apartment. I'm their god. Anyway. I'm excused the background noise is still gonna be a a little bit uh while we're dealing with that, but at least you can help me collectively consciously remove them from existence entirely, um with the help of you know a collective existence we can get rid of evil. I don't I don't entirely. I'm not sure. I think that it would take a lot of people to understand that like a lot of it is just a game. I think it would take raising the entire consciousness of like people as a whole for them to understand that like, most of it is for entertainment and based off perceptions. So, like, whatever you' idea for the world is, like it was your idea. Whatever's making you upset is it was your idea. So I'm kind of coming to like terms with that in my own, like sense. I'm like, oh, yeah, like, whatever is happening, I'm like a certain like at the surface level is wrong, but like on a grander scale, like I programmed this into my reality for whatever purpose in order to better suit my, like ideal reality. That's, you know, that's that's it. I can't attribute it to anything else. They're idiots, cause I'm idiots. Anyway, what else is going on? I don't know, I was I'm gonna try and do this off book. I think I do have like I have some notes, but like I don't like the way that it feels when I'm going off of my notebook because it feels like robotic. It feels really, you know, like and not necessarily rehearsed, but it's it feels planned and when I listen back to the episodes where I do go off of like notes or something like that, I don't like the way that it sounds. Hearing myself back, going from a going going from like a script. And so I try to keep it like 100% improvisational and it keeps it fresh. and honestly, honesty goodness, I haven't been on the Peloton for like more than 15 minutes at a time since I stopped doing these episodes. I don't know what it is about the sound of my own voice, but maybe it's the fact that like, I'm in performance mode and I'm giving you guys like I'm in, you know, I'm like in my radio voice and then I'm watching back like a performance of myself in order to like, I don't know. It's like it's like experiencing myself for the first time secondhandedly because I'm not necessarily not thinking about what I'm saying, but I'm also not thinking about what what I'm saying or how I'm saying it as I'm saying it. And then, you know, sometimes I just really like even on my hardest days, sometimes I make myself laugh the very most, and I'm like, okay, there's another reason to keep doing it. Because for the most part, I'm like I don't wanna do this anymore, it costs me too much money and it's not. Like, I'm not a clut person. I'm just not a clout guy. I don't like doing stuff for clout, cause clout doesn't pay the bills and clout doesn't clout doesn't necessarily get you jobs, like unless it's like the right person's clout. Like, you get have clout from a million people, and if none of those million people are the well, a million is kind of where they drive line. Like if a million people are like, yeah, this is the shit, then it might get you a job. But like a million is probably the minimum number for that. Like if you don't have a million followers or you don't have a million views or you don't have a million of anything of just like clout like it doesn't pay bills. So I'm not a cloud person. I'm not just gonna do whatever off clout. What did I get off that on that clot rat for? I don't know, what was I saying? Oh, I'm going off book. I'm off. script. Anyway. what can I remember from things that I wrote down?, I don't know. I've been reading a lot. I've been, you know, doing doing the best that I can. I've been well, I've been reading. I've been reading children's books specifically because I'm finding information. Well, first of all, I picked up these children's books with the hope that I would be the owner of a small library and I'm not. I'm actually putting a lot of the books back into like society, which is fine. I'm just downsizing. It's actually helping me feel a lot better. Like my head is a lot clearer, my studio. My studio for for the first time in a long time was like a place that I can that I feel like I want to work. and it was the weirdest thing because I went through like a year of just like collecting whatever book I saw, like whether it was just like on a stoop, like I, you know, for whatever or out of the little free library or like just wherever, because books are everywhere in New York and that's probably my favorite thing hands down about New York is that like wherever you go there are books and they're free and you can pick them up. But I'm also very sensitive to energy, so as like an energy worker and a transmuter, it became congested to the point where it's like, okay, there is like a certain type of energy that's not that's foreign to me and as much cleansing and as much like, you know, whatever, as much, you know, in any kind of, you know, like spiritual work I was doing, there's an energy here that I'm not necessarily comfortable with. And I realized every time I picked up a book, I fell into like a certain type of world, you know, and it wasn't just like whether the book caught my attention from just like the cover or whatever, and then I decided to flip through it or whether it was like a book that I was stuck in, I was falling until like a certain energy or a certain world and that every book had a certain energy to it. And so I realized after a year of collecting hundreds of books that I had literally hundreds of energies, like floating through my space and it became like hectic and it became heavy to the point where I was like, like, I don't necessarily want to hold on to all these things. and so it's it's been really rejuvenating. I've been going through a time of just like not necessarily like I know I have a lot of stuff to do. but one of the stuff to do is is like going through all of the things that I know that I need to like let go of in order to feel better. And it has been helping me feel better. It has for the most part, I'm still doing a lot with like my energy recovery and the noise here has a lot to do with it. I'm now like I now have anxiety to the point where I have like a consistent nauseum. like every time I hear like any kind of motor, like I get sick and now it's it's actually getting worse the longer that I've stayed here with the noise, it's like I now have like an upset stomach all the time, headaches twitches. It's the it's the most fucked up thing ever. and I've also been learning more about because I'm, you know, still still really focused in my music and so frequencies and, you know, like I've always been like a huge believer and like layered frequencies for healing, like sound healing, beta thick alpha, and and the whatnot, but I finally caught onto a piece of information that made me realize how the noise outside has affected my brain chemistry and not just in the way that it's like it's annoying or it's a nuisance or it's harassment, which it is all of those things, according to the law, but in a sense of what's happening to my brain chemically, like the chemical changes that are happening in my brain, or the frequency changes that are happening in my brain are actually the things that are making me more upset than loss of sleep, or, you know, like a disruption or disorganization of my mind or my daily habits. The thing that's making me the most upset is what I'm realizing is it's changing my frequency, and I'm not talking about just my my aura I well, I am in a sense, but like the frequency, the frequency differences that that your brain your brain goes into different frequencies during, you know, waking state, alha state, better state, you know, and when you're sleeping, you're in um I well, it depends on the person actually, and it depends on the type of sleep that you're getting. Like most people sleep and like a data state from what I'm understanding and this is the state of like conscious dreaming. And this is this, I could be incorrect because honestly, I layer them anyway. And I finally I finally did it. I I did. I' I was working on a song and I realized that I achieved like perfect theta without actually even meaning to. And I think I did another one and that was like in perfect gamma without even like it was just mixed perfectly. that it I was also listening to like a gamatone and then I realized I was like, wait, is that the song or is it the tone? Because, you know, if the if the frequency that you're listening to is pure enough, it will actually distort the bass or the, you know, it will distort the entire sound of whatever you're listening to. So sometimes things can sound warped or like they're waving or like they're going through something because those tones are kind of like they're they're moving against each other or with each other just kind of depends. And so what what has been, well, I wanted to finish, well, yeah, I think I have at least one song now that's in theta, and I have at least one song that's in gamma, completely. and and I and I shocked myself because I was listening to the tones and I was like, wait, the wait a second. like, I'm feeling like double here. Is this this song that I'm listening to, that I'm checking back the mix, or is this the the frequencies? And I I turned off all the frequencies and sure enough, it was the song. It was like a pure I was like, wow. I'm like that's an achievement. I did it completely by accident and I wish I knew the formula that I used to do that.c some people are so mathematic about it. Like some people are so uh like, you know, some people do this to their music. A lot of people, especially inass music, that's why it is the way that it is, is you're going to a show to get these frequencies like zapped into your body at at full forces. and some people know how to do it on purpose. I did it on accident, so I'm like, if I can continue to achieve at this but I'm trying to figure out like the mathematical equation or like the actual sonic equation for making this happen, like every time, because going through my history ofass music, I will finish in a second, going through my history of bass music, I have always gravitated to the to these frequencies, to the frequencies that make me feel better after a certain amount of time listening to them or a certain amount of time being in in that frequency. So that's this is the music that has, I guess subconsciously kind of for the kind of artist that I am. But this is the reason why I'm upset about the noise. like the most upset about it, like not even on a legal level, on a social level, on a moral level, like, no, this is actually morally wrong, it is morally wrong on so many fucking levels. I'm like, why are you so like, why obviously I did this on purpose, like in my God complex, I'm like, oh, well, I can better the community as long as I make a point, like that environmentally, this is damaging people. It's giving people mental illness, that it or like if they're predisposed to mental illness, it's even worse, but it's it's also like causing mental illness and people that are otherwise healthy people, which is not a lot of people in New York City given. It's just not. It's not a healthy place. A lot of people are not healthy. But even in like moderately healthy humans, this noise disruption can cause like brain changes and chemistry changes, and this is the reason why I'm so upset is because when you are sleeping, if you are sleeping, your brain is in a certain level that is like in a healing state. In the first few minutes that you wake up, as I understand it. In the first few minutes after you wake up, your brain is in a state that it can like that you can manipulate your entire environment, that you can change things, that you can heal yourself. And so when I'm waking up in the first few minutes in the very first thing that I hear is a motorcycle that's ripping through my fucking brain, it's changing my brain frequency from a frequency that is like at the at the at a human level or at any kind of level, kind of the the thing that makes every human capable of being a genius, not the genius level able to heal yourself and the frequency that you're able to heal yourself is what you automatically wake up in. So when you' when this frequency is interrupted, it's intercepted in immediately into a negative thought pattern. And so you immediately, so what's happening, what's been happening to me over the last year with the motorcycle nuisance harassment problem or whatever the fuck I don't care what it's called on paper. I just want it to stop like I just want to live in peace. It's not like and kind of having like coming from a a background where I kind of tend to have like take responsibility for myself, like oh, it must be something that I'm doing and yes, I also have like a higher god complex or like an ego if you want to call it, that's like, oh no, I must have done this on purpose. And you know, like in order for the greater good, like in order to fulfill my purpose in some sort of way, it must be it must be part of my process to have this. That's also my ego like I'm a god. like, you know, that's just me, that's the generation. That's the generation that I come from. That's our mindset. Like nothing happens in this world without me in it, period. That's why rappers are rappers and that's why that's why models are models. We all have egos and it's really hard to kill the bitch. I've had at least ten ego dusts throughout my fucking like existence and it still comes back. It doesn't matter. You can have an ego death and be like a completely ego list for like what, six months tops? Eventually you're gonna have like the ego is is is imp important to survival, because I lost the word. I think implemental what was I gonna use? I was definitely a for syllable word. Either way, it is you need it. Like if you if you oh, you know, people might describe people, like being in like a in a sense of humility as like, oh, just completely without ego, but like at the end of the day, like, no, like your ego allows you to actually like compensate with the rest of the world, like, most people do not have no ego entirely, or at least for like, like a week after your acid tri or whatever, yeah, like, oh, had ego death and I completely. But like within I swear to God, like within six months time, like your ego has at least minimally like repaired itself. That's what an ego does, that's why you have it. You have it. It's a survival. It's it's a part of your consciousness that has to do with survival if you don't have your ego, like you're pretty much dead in the world, especially the way it is now. Anyway, this is that that's going to probably close up my spiel on that. Yeah, I'm upset because instead of like the first few moments of my waking moments being a healing, time, it is immediately going into disarray and chaos and anxiety. And so in in so I'm losing like, I don't I don't really care about oh, I mean, like I care about life in a sense, but I mean, like, and it in a mortal sense. I like, yes, it's taking years off of me. and I feel it like in the way that it's like, I I am slower to do regular things or like, whatever my rising thoughts, might be are completely just destroyed by this like what I've what I've come to perceive is like an evil force. It is evil in so many levels again this breaks down from like a higher consciousness to like a lower state of consciousness. The lower state of consciousness is saying that like these people are just idiots. They're idiots and they are not self aware of the fucking like pollution that they're doing on kind of middle sense, I'm like, oh, it's politics, it's like gentrification if these guys run around in circles, then people call up the fucking place, the place gets fucking more allocated funds to their fucking police officers, the police officers have fucking filling their quotas. It's all bureaucracy and paperwork and politics on that middle level and on the highest level it is like no, this is evil, it's pure evil because people are so grossed out by the fact that fucking New York is New York and also the wage and income and quality factor is that this guy is doing whatever the fuck he has to do brown. He's doing well, not that guy. that guy's that guy's a weak dick motherfucker. He has a small dick and everybody in the neighborhood knows it. He drives around and circle making people miserable. He also I'm it's the same dude. that same dude followed me to the Trader Joe's. It's the same dude, so I'm like, I like I know the sound of his bike from anything, so I definitely know when I'm at the Trader Joe's and then he's like all of a sudden traffic like, I'm like yo dude like why the fuck you following me to Trader Joe's like I live four miles away, which is not that far on the fucking motorcycle, but I came all the way over here on the subway for you to follow me on your bike. week, dick, bro.way, like, fuck this, fuck this, fuck that guy, fuck this neighborhood, fuck this place, fuck these politics, fuck these people. On a low frequency. Like on a low frequency, I'm like, fuck all this, like on a high frequency, I'm like, there's a purpose or whatever, it'll work, is temporary, blah, blah, blah. What the fuck was I saying? I don't know. I what the fuck was I ranting? I don't know. I that's that shiel, right? Trader Joe, hello Trader Joe. It's not safe. No, but you know, oh man, let's you say I, whatever. Let's just say oh, whatever. a lot. What else do we got? I don't know. I put on an album that came out today, yay, it's called all the rage. Actually, all that all that gripe about like, oh, it's an EP when I'm sure that the stores are gonna call it an album. I was like, I'm sure it's gonna be an album, so I just started calling it an album. like the release comes out and they're like, it's an EP, you congratulations. So I I thought I was putting out an album, that I was an EP, but it just missed the cutoff her album, because technically you can have a six track album and if it's over 30 minutes. If and you can have a six track album that's an EP like this, all the range is technically an EP at least according to Spotify's standards. And it's, I think it's like two and a half minutes under I think it's like 2 and a half minutes under, so it's an EP, but it's six tracks and I'm really excited about it. I kind of put a little bit more promotion into it than usual. I even had some press done, and that's great. because you can get pressed done. They're like,Yo, for $500. You'll be famous tomorrow. I'm like, that fucked up. That's a paycheck for some people. and that's not famous. also. They're charging people to be like spectacular. Well, they're charging they're like charging for people to be like popular, which is I think it's wrong, like ethically, you shouldn't be able to do that, like, oh, no, you're gonna get on all the playlists and whatever, you're gonna have like all like you should not be able to sell followers, like whether they're real people, which is slavery or they're robots, which is also slavery. Like you should not be able to sell fame that's making it like now I don't even trust like, okay, like this person got an award, but like, okay, because because the album was popular, because it was better than all the other ones. Or like, how do you know that you even heard all the albums because there are so many, and that like, okay, this person who put like zero dollars into promotion, how do you know that album wasn't better? because you didn't hear it? Because the person with a million dollar ad campaign won the fucking won the fucking award? Because you heard it because they put a million dollars into the fucking promotions. So it makes it makes everything the fact that everything is on a level system that's based on money is completely unfair. Like the all the industries are broken, it's not just music. Like, it's not just music. I'm like, holy shit, like you could spend like a year, an average year salary, which is what's the median income now. even with like no adjustment for inflation, like what, $50,000? Okay. So you could spend $50,000 on your your career so you'd have to you'd have to do that. That's even you're still competing with people who have a million dollars for doing nothing. That's insane. Anyway, I'm not bitter. What the fuck did I do earlier that I wasn't that literally the spirit that was like, don't be salty. I was like, oh, I was like,Yo, stop teaching models to fucking DJ, because I I happened on this girl that was like, yo, like I actually liked some of her music. I liked some of her music, but she wasn't doing much. And like everything was just fake. It was like super duper fake, but she was mad gorgeous and like more of these girls are popping up out of nowhere that are like not they're like models that are barely touching the decks and they're like a march. I'm like yo, dude, if that girl made this music like okay, maybe I should see her, but like, I'm like no somebody goes produce this because like she's moving badly in time to it and I realized something about being a producer is like yo if you spent enough time actually crafting this like this piece, you're not gonna move like badly to it like you're not going to move weird to music that you made because it's in you like it came from in your body. So like, I was like, I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at and I'm like, oh, I'm looking at propaganda. But then like, isn't that just kind of like discouraging people who don't have that type of body type or mindset, but it was funny because the algorithm was like don't be salty. It was like DJing is for everybody and if that's your passion and I'm like yeah, if that's your passion, but like, yo, when what where is the line between like propaganda and passion? Like, oh, I'm already a successful like, multimillionaire fashion model, but like I'm gonna be a DJ, like it washes out all the people who have actually like put in the work. It washes out all the people who have actually put in the work. Don't be salty. I was like fine, fine, but only because I like that algorithm. Only because I like that algorithm. I'm like fine, okay, we'll we'll be whatever. Whatever I've been reading. Oh, I read a book, let's see, let's see if I can remember the ones I already put back. I've been reading these uh this like children's book series on like famous people because I realized that they're written for children and I'm like, yo, dude, like somebody could read this whole series in the second grade and be smarter than me because I didn't know anything about the people that I'm reading about at all. And so they're like these little biographies. Well, I mean, they they're on a child's level. I don't know how long it would take a child to read, but they take me like an hour, hour and a half to read just like at a normal speed. And I read really fast. But I think the reason why from taking me so long to read them is because I actually take like a lot of I take a lot of like, I don't know, words or art to me, so if something is like especially musical, I might take it and be like that's a good song title. Like, if I think enough about this and what I know about this, like what kind of song is it? And, you know, just like little fun facts. Like first of all, I'm obsessed with George Lucas. I've never been a huge Star Wars person, just and I I realizing this. I've never been being on like Star Wars wicked. like, I've never been being on things that are like really, really big, but then I did grow up and kind of like a sheltered shut community where like most of the people like twilight, I wasn't hungerames, aylys Cyrus, well Hannah Montana at the time, okay? I just wasn't into those things, but most mostly because they're fans, actually, she just put out something that I kind of piqued my interest. It was in my fucking sl side bar. I was like, oh, no, what's this? I'm I might check it out. But I've been staying off the mainstream just cause I'm realizing like the reason that I'm seeing this is money and doesn't necessarily make it better or worse than anybody else. Because sometimes mainstream artists come out with crap and I think they do it on purpose, they're like,Yo, watch this. I can do whatever because so many millions of people love me, watch this. I'm like, damn. And then millions of people are like, yay, yes, yes, this. I'm like, the fuck? What did you do? And I'm pretty sure the mainstream artist is like consciously, even collectively like, you see what I'm saying? I can do whatever the fuck.c I did one thing cool, maybe like five things cool, like a long time ago, and literally don't have to do anything else. I just do this just to prove a poil. Like, I can shit on a track, literally. And millions of people will be like, I love you. I love you, please more of those. do it again. I'm like, oh, God, please, no. What the fuck? Millions of fans. Like once you have your fucking fan based unlock, like that's it. Like, you don't have to fucking people will be like, literally kissing at all of the ground that you touch for the rest of forever forever. That's it. I'm realizing that about fantom, so I'm like, yo, if you know what kitten mittens are. I'd still don't, but if you if you know kitten mittens, congrats, you're one of 12 people who actually like me. one of 12. I'm like 12 is enough. That's what Jesus had, right? might as well and Jesus technically have like 11 I don't know why I like that guy so much. I'm pretty much obsessed with him, too. I love Jesus. I'm like, Jesus is the god kind of I mean, like he's technically like three gods. anyway, why am I obsessed with uh George Lucas? First of all, he's one of the coolest people ever, Kate, like, okay, first he was a greaser, like a real greaser. like from the movie Grease, but like the actual thing before the movie Grease, cause if I if I'm not mistaken, he was like a greaser before they made Grease. That's crazy. Yeah, because Gre was like in the 70s, but it was about the 50s, right? I don't know. He was like an actual real life, like they just put Vaseline, I guess in their hair and wore like dirty shit and they were like, yeaheah, greaser. and they w and they fucking drove and they drove, what did they drive? I don't know, cars, old cars, and they would race them. I that was honestly I'm obsessed with this dude. I and now I kind of want to see Star Wars because I've never seen them. But honestly Star Wars is one of those things that, oh, that's what I was saying. God, yeah, well, yeah, I like grew up not liking Star Wars because all the people that liked it were mean. Like all those other things I named earlier in the episode. Like they're fans sucked, so I was like, I definitely cannot see myself getting into this. And so I never did, but now I'm well, as happy as I am being single. I save certain things for like just a case. I ever get in a relationship. I'm like Star Wars. I've never seen that. Like I saved certain things for like you know, like I wouldn't necessarily want to watch it by myself. I think I'd get geeked, though, now, now that I understand, like the kind of person that created Star Wars, I'm like, yo, dude, like he's the shit. Like, okay, first of all, okay, if I did the math, secondly, no, cause the first of all thing was like, he's a greaser. That's the coolest thing about George Lucas. Yeah. I mean, like I mean, like there was so many cool things. I had to take notes, I had to stop. I was like bending back pages, I was like, all this dude's the best. Okay. I was like,Yo, okay, whatever. Like, uh, oh, well, that was one of the last things I read. If I did the math right, this dude has like a 12 year old. He's older than my dad. My dad's pushing 80. I'm like, is he 80? He's like 80 with a 12 year old. That's incredible. That's I have so much respected admiration for that. Because it kind of proves my point that like if you're dude, you can just like keep on popping them out, popping them out. But he also like adopted kids, I think. Yeah, yeah. And he also like adopted kids. was at him? Yeah. Yo, I'm telling you there's so much practice into these little books. I'm like, okay, whatever, what else is cool. I don't know, he just seems he just seems like the dude just seems like the dude. I was likeYo. I I can't remember all the notes I took, but those those two things alone. I'm like, yeah, I earn my respect. I did write down a quote earlier that was like, what did he used to say? oh, do that again but better? I'm like, yeah, that sounds that sounds accurate. And then I liked the fact that like all his worlds within his worlds are like connected, so he'll leave Easter eggs within worlds of different Indiana Smith. He really liked the name Indiana because I guess he had a dog named Indiana, which was named after somebody else that was named Indiana. And I had no idea that Indiana Jones was like his brainchild or like close to it. I was like, whoa, this dudees are fucking legend, like a real like an actual, like this dude's a G for George Lucas. He's the best. I was like, yeah, dude. I could not put that book down. I was like sitting in cold bathtub water like, oh my God, this is such a pain turner. I gotta read about this dude until the very end of this book and I did. I would not put it down. I was like, George Lucas is the man, bro. like the man, I don't like like, yo, cool dude. I like that guy. I've never seen Star Wars. I have, I've seen like the beginning. It's like in the time, blah, fucking blah, blah, fucking talk. Yeah, and then I started writing my own movies, you know. It's not that any of them, you know, as whatever, you know, sometimes it's circumstance, sometimes sometimes I' just realize that I make excuses. Like I have no reason not to be as successful as any of these people that I'm reading about, because I'm finding personality traits about myself as I'm reading about them, like Albert Einstein Total Duis. He might have been like like functionally retarded. I'm pretty sure he was retarded, but also a genius. Like like, oh, okay, this is the coolest thing about Albert Einstein are we done inukas never, never. He's immortal, right? We'll see him at some point. He's so cool. He's so cool anyway. I was like, yeah, dude, this dude is cool. But there's that's the Alb Einstein, my man, okay, so like, slowly almost solely responsible for the invention of the Adamah. That's dope. On accident, though, because once he realized what had like once he realized that, okay, like, okay, I'm correct about this. For sure, I'm definitely correct about this, but like, yo okay, should we back up a little bit? First of all, he didn't say anything until he was like four. Didn't say anything, not a not a single word, his parents were like,o, something's wrong with him. Like even back in the day where it's like, uh don't know. Something's wrong with him. He's not saying anything. The doctors were like, he's perfectly fine.'s fine. And he didn't say anything his entire life until one day, apparently, he sat down to dinner with his parents and the soup was too hot, and that's what he said he's like the soup is too hot. Like, could you imagine, like having a kid that you're like 100% sure is retarded? Oops, nope, you can't say that. Okay, well, you could. Then so let's just shouldn't I just cancel you can't say that. Why, though? Like, okay, when I was growing up, you have to understand I come from a time where it was like you could just call that to somebody cause they were being dumb, but not dumb, right? But I mean like at a certain point, like, okay, technically Helen Keller was deaf dumb and blind, but like sometime and I'm assuming like between the 70s and 80s, it became a slang for like that's dumb. Like, don't do that because whatever you're doing is not right, which is like, okay if you're not right, then you're what? Retarded. Like, I'm sorry. I'm like some certain things are not going to be like, I'm, you know. I'm like early 2000s game or culture, that's gay, but I love gay. It's like nobody's being derogatory about that. I'm being derogatory about your behavior and I might even use it as like a positive you know what's what describing words or adjectives? I don't know. I'm going through. I'm going to processes realizing that like, okay, I'm at the age where certain information is gonna be offloaded. Certain like it's not coming back ever. Like, you like, I I know Spanish, but only if I have to speak it and it's not like, I'm not developing any other nothing else is like my brain is like, we don't need this, do we? I'm like, I don't know. Maybe I should hold on to that. No, no, we don't need this. I'm like, okay, well. there are certain things about me that are just not gonna change at this point. I'm not sorry, because honestly, weren't too offended at everything when, like, there're there are things that are offensive that nobody really is offended about. like, if you really found an offensive, it would not exist anymore, you know? Because when somebody becomes really passionate about something, and they change it. Which is why I'm taking my time. I like, youo, annihilation is imminent. Like this cannot be anymore. Like, you don't change my brain chemistry. Fuck that shit. my brain chemistry is perfect the way that it is. Like I'm almost sure that like the entire mental health industry will change based on ideals that are like blooming and other like in other what the fuck was I just saying exactly ideas that are already springing up in in small circles. like they'll, you know, be one day. Like that's just valid, like nothing's really wrong with you. something's wrong with the world. Like, why? Like, and what can we do to change that? It could be environmental completely. It could take somebody with like severe mental health issues, severe schizophrenia, severe bipolar disorder, severe fucking severe depression, severe anxiety and change their environmental factors or even just like change the fact that that like they're facing poverty, poverty is a mental illness and that's not what it's not looked at as such. It's looked at as a deficiency on the individual's part when it could be like and it could be a polethro of environmental factors. That'll change. It will in my lifetime. I know that it will. It may not be because of me because for the most part, I'm a pacifist. I really am. I'm a yoder, like, honestly, it has to be like visibly hurting someone else or hurting me painfully enough for me to be passionate about it to make it change. Like, I'm sorry, I'm not. I don't want I don't really want to be a leader, especially because like people are still like populating this planet. I don't necessarily I don't I don't wanna be like a a leader in anything because that is like that's too much power. Honestly, just let me play the music and then fuck off. And I will fuck off. Like if you think I talk too much or you find me annoying or you think I'm stupid like eventually I I disappear. That's it a self-reflective Go away, all right. I't have to be asked twice. I don't stay in places where I'm not welcome. So, New York it's been good. Are't not really. But somebody I thought okay, who else am I obsessed with? I love this new lady that I found. Her name is Gina something rather fucking amazing. I I love New York people because I love New York people. Like I really do. like it is well, it's hard to fucking there's a fucking oh, honestly, it could be simplified to this as like, okay, maybe this embraces like the new the New York feminine and what I really hate is the New York masculine, which is just toxic, just disgusting, like where I spinning on things, shut the fuck up, like, are you not self aware? Like it's it's certain level of and I'm not, I'm really not binary in the sense where it's like balanc, bro. like balance, like a little bit of everything is good and like half masculine, half feminine is like a good balance, non-binary embracing that. But like yo, dude, there's a certain rasculinity about the city that's the thing that makes it nasty. It was like, whoa. whoa. I'm like, that's nasty, but I was oh, okay, I'm in love with this person. Her name is like Gene or something rather. I'm still I still have like I no, I have no feet in the comedy pool cause like I realized I stopped performing comedy and I stopped writing it, and like all the like semi tragic possibility, like possibly hilarious situations that were happening to me when I was actively writing comedy just stopped. I was like good, I don't necessarily need to be in that right now. That's that has sailed and will probably later sink, but I don't want to be in there if like, okay, like you're funny, if like sad and bad shit happens to you all the time. I'm like, that's fucked up. I don't wanna be that guyc 50 years from now I could be that guy and like still not earn a penny more than I'm earning right now making music underground. So if it's if I had to choose between the two, I've already earned mastery in recording arts. 10,000 hours or more, like I don't necessarily like being a comic is like another ladder. It's another it's a thing. And honestly, when I stopped like, well, I mean, like I I took a break from tears of a clown because it became such a like passion project for me that I was like, oh, this is that I'm caring too much like I should stop. and still not finish and it's not it's not like, it never had a release date in mind, so it's not necessarily like what's it delayed? Yeah, it's not delayed, and it's not it's definitely not in hiatus, but like, I realized that I have a certain responsibility to my audience altogether. It like to do this show as well and so like this, there's been taking kind of a priority, knowing that like my hiatus has been longer than any other hiatus is, and that I owe it to like my homegrown audience and my weird coat following to like okay like I have to give you guys everything from fucking like November to now and just musically that's a lot but then I've also the writing has also accompanied it and so it would be a shame to just let that go entirely because I feel that like my actual, my actual fan base is here in this show, unfortunately, well, not unfortunately, because I've started to get like a sense of familiarity within the dance music scene, like, as a producer through this podcast as a medium, because when I started doing this podcast, like, it wasn't like people weren't generally like now people are doing like following my, what's it? format. Like people weren't really doing DJ mixes and like putting music on podcasts, like it just wasn't people weren't doing it. I was the only one doing it now everybody's doing it and it makes me want to do it less, but then also like I have to kind of show consistency with myself in order for me to feel like I'm still doing something. What was that rant about? I don't know. I'm obsessed with this lady name's Gina or something rather. She's super New York. What would she say? that I really liked? Oh, if you didn't know the rules before you got to New York, you you like if you came to New York and you're not having a good time, you probably didn't know the rules before you got here.rect. I didn't come here on purpose. This was my layover city. I came here by accident and I did not know the rules. Now I'm learning the rules and I'm like the rules are fucked up and rules are kind of meant to be broken if you're disturbing my peace, I will then disturb your peace. No, I will not. I do not believe an eye for an eye, and also I feel that you are dangerous people. I will then report you to the police and and make the proper documentation in order for it to stop. I'm a snitch. I don't give a fuck. Like if you're actually hurting me, like if you're changing my the way that I think and the way that I feel, like if you're making me sick inside of my own environment, like you deserve it. I'll give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I don't give any kind of fuck. And then that way, I am a feminist, cause it's like, yo, dude, like how long are you gonna sit and take somebody hurting you before you actually realize that like you're not the problem they are and in order for their behavior to stop, you have to actually like you have to prevent this by stepping up for yourself. It's kind of like a show and like, okay, like like at a certain point it is kind of like a game. Like how long are you going to let me do this to you before you just fucking like get up and fucking hit me back? And I'm like, I don't want to like, I don't want to fight, but at the same time, like, bro, like I've been getting my ass whipped by these idiots and so I'm like, okay, I have to actually, but I'm still not a fighter. I have to do it in a way that makes sense and so that the community can be improved when I move on. Like I don't necessarily want to put somebody in the same place that I am now because I really am not I don't and just improve it. Like I believe so much in doing that, like not just leaving no trace, but like improving the place from which you are situated when you leave so that when the next person comes through, they don't have to struggle through the same hardship. So in that way, leadership, sure, be

[A beautiful dog enters the palace; C'esme't is pleased—actually, more thrilled.] Now! (Yo!) [The Dog sits at the entrance.] Call to me. [he speaks from the mind (telepathically) with a familiar tonal voice] Come, sweet stranger! [The Dog approaches] For it is I, the King who walks as not a ghost For yet the call has spoken that I be your loyal shadow (it's me; the King. I've been called to watch over you) Then? (Elaborate.) For now I came as waked dost I as ghost and wandered, pity and pardoned by no army dared Aghast my throne And agape my eyes, Wide my mouth and nostrils, Disemboweled and yet, I did wake with my fortune And tidings in my kingdom, a hidden realm, For there slayed, as I wept, The others dared to swallow, This truth, I, as knight and pawn doth slay the Queen, For titled King no friend of mine; And now, this beast as blood dost froth, My mind does waste, but here I bark Fortunate! To be laid by as you, I will. Then, creature, as you may! For free, this I, And coming not the time I shall l awaken, And then, though, Does the true challenge to bear, The altar; the stone, the shield and the rope From which I pull, and thee shall fight. Marriage of souls. To fancy this beast, betrayeth not. For something barks as is an end As a man does call a lover friend And so lover-friend I am and shall be. Lol what the fuck. So he's a dog now. ‍♀️ wtf is going on in this show. Idk. I'm baked. Enter The Multiverse L E G E N D S: Manifest Destiny ‍♂️ Ascension: Enter the Multiverse The titles switched. Good idea. So maybe I should stick with t mobile? Idk. Mint mobile is 15 dollars a month for unlimited talk and text. HERE AND NOW I DECREE, THIS FEAST DOES NOURISH ALL OUR MINDS AND HEARTS TO FIGHT THE GOOD WAR AGAINST ALL HE WHO SQUANDER THE MERCY OF PEACE! TO COURAGE! lol you lost me. I'm grasping at strings here. I needs a means to an end I need a body bag, body bag I need a King and a dog And a cat and an owl And a mark and a dawn And a knife and a gun Call it what you want I was not at the rock But that's where I was going I'm lost in Omaha I was just on the dark With the dark and the walkers The king and the rabbit The facts and the stalkers But who sunk the boat? Who sunk the boat Now this is encouragement! Acknowledgements? Nothing yet. Disaster strikes obvious and No regrets But obvious I'm in it for the long run And it transpired for the job done But the waffles came out awful And crispier than I wanted Almost every time So I took the iron back to target And I know I came out with a double album in August But I got no promotions So I won't walk the carpet So I won't walk the carpet I know I know I'm no Joan Rivers Or Joan of ark so I won't talk the gossip I won't talk the gossip I won't talk the gossip Now, more followers Show boat, Throw him overboard into a rowboat With no paddles And horseshoes on em— That outta show ‘em Rondevouz Rob us all Noah's Ark Don't get so lost in the story Lost in the sory Lost in the LORNE MICHAELS …you caused this. [In a secret lab inside of 30 Rock, A group of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE alumni are trapped inside a metal box; this room has no doors and no windows and seems to be amplifying thought frequencies each of them hears uniquely, but distinctly, and very, very loudly. This is due to the irrefutable fact that they are all gifted telepaths, due to having served time often looking into the lenses of live broadcast cameras. it is theorized that, because of this anomaly— a strange and untraceable signal seeming to intercept all of Rockefeller Plaza's Radio antennae transmissions, it may be an unknown extraterrestrial force attempting to comminicste with 30 Rock from space. On this day, they've been gathered and trapped here in an emergency focus group to attempt to remedy the problem. Haha. MAKE IT STOP. OH MY GOD WHAT IS THST, WHYYYYYYYYY! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYHY!!! Craters full of lullabies and dictionary definitions; Tense intimate interactions, and now, this hypertension. I have a secret, a dirty little secret. I didn't do it! It wasn't me! Hmm..okay–vouch. I'm telling you–wait– vouch? Yeah, I vouch. You're vouching me? I'm vouching you. She's vouching me. She vouched you. So i'm good? You're good. I'm good. You're good. Ok. SETH MEYERS is the best secret keeper in the entirety of the known and unknown multiverse. The respective deities and entities within the outer realms have taken notice to this; One of the world's greatest eve played game has become the ritualistic endeavor of tracking down this human in order to attempt to overwhelm him so that he might eventually crack or implode, or even acknowledge these sometimes outrageous events and otherworldly happenings; thus far, he has not. As of recently, the elders of the darkest deities from the furthest outer realms and legions of Hell have been taking this game with the now very famous and successful seth meyers, a popular TV host; this has elevated the e ntirety of the threshold for Seth's tolerance, and it appears he may soon be pushed to crack. So why are you on the wire? I atrophied at extravagant Tip toed in the tip ties; Til' then, i went there, Now summer starts in winter Now summer starts in winter Now summer starts in winter Pull the curtain back, Then you censor this Censor this! I pull the curtain back, then redact then redact don't react don't react It's an act it's an act Shit I pull the curtain back then I bow; It's a show now Pull the curtain back then I show, It's a showdown Listen up, Listen down I super blow my flow now, super bowl my pronouns You can't lose if you don't pick a team You can't win if you don't even play I can't pay you if I don't get a paycheck I can't work at it if it's not fame Oh no! I can't work at it if it's not fame. The isms is the synthesis; I only got one present for christmas When you [can] Take that spark and bury it in your heart, don't remark about it– Then, probably you're a comic Or an alcoholic, one of the two of them Wrong not to touch, then Willed you back into existence And still it's in exigence, and Guilty by association Guilty by association I just want to know what the current Tonight Show budget is for hair dye. Also wondering why JImmy's suit is grey, but his hair isn't? Is that a two in one? Honest to God my only question about this man. The rest can remain as mystery. Act V Part II Guilty By Association Sometimes I Stevie Wonder what you're up to; I can't see you but I know you're in my aura Sometimes I Richard Pryor while you're on my mind; I guess you could say you set my soul on fire My, my my Look what time it is I've only just begun to know you; Then I had to dieSo turn the light off My eye Turn the light off for awhile And follow me to darkness Follow me To the other side. It's not true, but it'll do I might have lost you somewhere Better off to leave you somewhere sure; If it's not pure And how could it be When only the light hits the snow And bounces off The warmth is an illusion, And your love is just a dream And anyway, anyway There's nothing i've ever been surer of Than the definite end, The enter and exit And when planets align, Only to fall completely out of orbit Now what was this for again Foreigner, object identified and destroyed it's destructive qualities, Tentative in a nature Sure, pressure– Resentment, Intense good moments of pleasure, Then signals sent Completely by accident. -Now that i've been thinking lately of Bill Murray And my formerly imaginary friend Riff Raff, Now i'm sure that There may be some telepathy involved Which means I should probably just– Go somewhere else now. Should I be sorry for my thoughts? I'd rather not, But still YO. Yo dude, what the fuck. I'VE BEEN STUCK IN THIS MOVIE FOR LIKE A YEAR. That's not that long… IT'S A LONG TIME TO BE IN A MOVIE. Please don't tear me to pieces; Don't blow the balloon up, No foul ball, No side eye No fowl play And dinner is as cold as it gets But dinner does warm In the aluminum foil, But all out of order, The border patrol is just Digging for details Digging for details. And it's this: You don't know what it is, Until you get into it, And it sets into you The only way it can When it's in you. Are you paying attention to this? Or can I just end it? Boston accents or what, And now i really think It's just inside my head It's just inside my head and This is getting weird. All of a sudden, I'm oh wonder and I love it And Sara Silverman has The prettiest brown eyes I've ever seen (on a celebrity) ((with whom I share a gender)) Aha. Okay, Sabrina Carpenter has a very pretty voice But that doesn't make me Any less jealous Or any less capable of explosion Disarm me I'm catching up on the specials I missed Being special I guess With no grocery subscription Aim low, Get high, I guess Rob Lowe, Build time, I guess I miss the old announcer, And the golden years I miss the former times And the mouse ears I learned my less I might got Kim K and TSwift Pointer Finger Could hold a tune to you, Who The joys of live theatre, And the catastrophe of the Impenetrable Boy oh boy is Television getting heavy Turn up the ridiculousness and Atrocious Atrocities and Acidophilus Anorexic, I wish i could digest this –and expand my vocabulary I wish I was better than I am So i could be Capable Can Kim Kardashian ever not just be Naturally beautiful at everything Doing everything Kim The J I can't sing in this apartment And it might actually kill me The devil lives next door on both sides I'm in a satan sandwich I guess I'm just Not free I must have fucked up last lifetime I must have fucked up last lifetime I might have looked just like her I want to get upstaged by Eddie Murphy More corpse suits! Pink lipstick! Slap the desk Check the camera Front loading! Front loading! I want a chance at humbling white america (just kidding) I want a wig that looks like an afro (cause I don't have one) I want Lorne Michaels to shame me into beng better By making me feel mediocre first So I hit the high bar When I hit the body bag I hit the body bag When I hit the high road With Letterman YOU STOLE MY BODY TO GO TO A BLACK TIE FUNCTION!? Yeah. Well–which one? Okay, you're gonna get a kick out of this. I'm giddy for physical comedy THIS IS MY MANIFEST DESTINY MY MANIFEST DESTINY AHHHHHHHH MY MANIFEST DESTINAAAAAAA Comedy comes in all forms And God comes in all Karma I brace myself for repeating my mantras I light candles But don't blow them out I just might get my wish DO NOT RESIST. I AM RESISTING THIS ARREST. Oh yeah. YES. Shoot him. NO, DON'T. SHOOT HIM, BILLY BOB, SHOOT ‘EM. Crocodile hunter turned hard-up cop Read him his rights! He ain't white enough. So she's perfect! Me? I've been taken in I can't stand to stamp I can't christmas, Backwards And backwash And sanford and sons And Whatever And… Ego might eat me like Eggos Like Hannibal Burress was holding At the market I left my Ego at the door But there's just no room for the both For the both of us I KNOW I'll just write her a hit show! What. YES. THEN, SHE'LL LEAVE SNL, AND THEN I'LL BE THE BLACK GIRL ON THE SHOW MWAAHAHAHAHAHA Ok. wtf happened to that girl? SUNNI BLU [kicking and screaming] I TOLD YOU I'M NOT GOING ON FA– —-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! So many beautiful people, or, rather The actors, Or should I say Vortex Then. Too many beautiful people I spent the whole night warm and holed up in the office What could come out of The Rock I don't know where to look I'm not used to the audience Duh, that. I'm a professional audience member But i don't remember the ending Anybody? Anybody? Any envy actor actress? BPM: Dosage Anxiety Remix Honestly fuck the comed circut I just want to know what it's like to have a body What's it like to have a body? I'm just a collective consciousness robot Adapting to my environment I can't sing in this apartment! I'm in a Satan Sandwich And would be The God in the middle If God didn't find this Absolutely hilarious So I'm on 24 hours; You're on Saturday Nights, But i'm on 24 I broke my Don't-look up-folks rule on Brittney Howard Cause I think i'm just like herBut more of a coward. You're on Saturday Night Live But i'm on 24 Hours It hurts longer And stronger Every moment I'm gone And still not a mom I wish I could change my eyes The color of the world Before it all ends Earth gone And oceans of mud No tide And no moon (The Earth without the Sun) I don't want to know you I don't want to owe you a lesson. I don't want to go there. I don't want no dance numbers. I don't want no GOATS here. No goats here. I don't get it, Mass Media– Is this flattery, or Deception? Humiliation? Based in perception, I see, so Is this recognition or Did I just send Dillon Francis my script in the beginning? No answer, by God. What an asshole What if Alienz Don't like lesbians. What is trance is just bad dance music. That's… What if edifice breaks for a daily regimen of Letterman? What if RUN, FALLON, RUN! I'M ATTACHED TO A KITE I HAVE NO CONTROL OF THIS. WELL, WHAT IS IT ATTACHED TO?! YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW! —NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Look, It's Meryl Streep! Holy shit, Meryl Streep is hot. What.(I can't keep secrets>) God doesn't keep good secrets. Just stop talking. Look, It's “My Bad Chad” Holyfuck Are you gonna have all those burned off too? Or can I do it for you? (might cost less) Jk Kim K That's a tough act to follow. Ariana? Nah, Backup; Had that. Meanwhile: Me in a hatchback Campin' at the Palisades. My name's the hammer –Adam ruins everything– I am not goin' starstruck –Adam Ruins Everything– My name's the Hammer (I'm a hammer, damn) –Adam Ruins Everything– I love showbiz But I got hard work comin on Now pause:: I need a break Need to make money Now i get a two for one Two for one Hate me or love me Either way, I'm gonna show up, Blow up, Glow up, And fuck off I'm a lost cause Cause I lost God On a talk show The way the camera moves makes me nauseous virtual reality And everybody's mad at me for Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy Conan “snowball” O'Brien But why's he called that. Shh! Not Yet. Oh, you are so overdone and fucked right now! Shh! My mom might be listening. Like she's never heard the word ‘fuck'? Shhhh! MOM I heard that! See! She said she heard it; she didn't say stop it. Well stop it. Fuck me man! SHH. KNOCK IT OFF. Yes Mrs. Mason Who the fuck is Mrs. Mason. Come on, white america; Put me on late night I promise you I'll watch more hallmark artists Than all of them Every day over here is a suit and tie function Camera one? YOU DONE FUCKED WITH US FOR THE LAST TIME. Ah shit. lol . whart is thrus. Fucking–magicians or something. Freemasons. F– Alright. Where is he? Where is who? You know who! What? Donaghey!!!!!!!! Lol Alec Baldin is like 200 years old. *cackles too hard, falls over and dies* Yikes. JACK DONAGHEY enters from a Parallel dimension and sees ALEC BALDWIN'S CORPSE. …Huh. Who's this handsome son of a bitch, I wonder. Don't wonder too hard. We gotta find that court order and get out of here. What court order [Cort hors d'oeuvres] what. I don't know. It almost kind of rhymed with corpse and wonder and I'm still stuck writing in cadences. What for! Oh wow, the neighbor was really a plant forreal. STOP SLAMMIN THAT Yo fuck this. Waht the fuck am I supposed to do with all this information. [appearing entirely out of nowhere, as always.] JIMMY FALLON I told you to burn it. OH MY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST. STOP DOING THAT. I can't. That's– Apparently what I do. WELL GET OUT OF HERE. Wish I could. Strapped to a kite. THEN HOW ARE YOU STANDING HERE? WHAT? I'm learning a lot of things up there! UP–WHERE! Up yours. WHAT. *poofs* UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I hate him. I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM. I hate this. TINA FEY Fuckit, he hates himself. Lets just assume. No, that's it. That's the singularity. What. It can't– He's just so confi— That's the singularity. [everything ploofs back to normal] See. I win. FUCK. ARE YOU SERIOUS!? I'M YOUNG AGAIN. i”M YOUNG AGAIN. [The entire cast stares at their returned to period-accurately aged cast mate; He appears so confident and wise, however–just a glint of insecurity falls over him–this indeed was the singularity; rather than to risk all of time and space defrabicating for a third and albeit final time, they rain down on their castmate, with the angry hellfire of a gregorian mob, urging him to GO LOVE YOURSELF. Long Night at work, or just Shoo fly, don't bother me– I'm more caught up on the Rudolph Storyline, How it's some mystic But I missed it With the lip stick And the vintage this and thats Person Welcome to Hogwarts, Of course, It's your funeral God bless the illuminati All I see is– NOT IT. IT WASN'T ME. I DIDN'T DO IT. JLO BITCH, STOP TALKING. Woah, What the FUCK JLO. JLO WHAT IN THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY? I–wh– Wait… Fallon? SHHHHThhHHHTHhhTHHHH!! Give me one bet Died inside Who's doing which thing God bless these envies! Gie me one shot Now who am I?Ace in the hole? I died inside. Don't break the barrier Don't run the wall Don't be the villain Fall, JImmy, Fall. To float, or to fall Or to walk away To shop at the mall Or to bet it all on Fall on And I tell you to jump, you jump! And I tell you to move, You move! And I tell you to movie, You movie! And I show you the blue OH GOD. Gimmie the binoculars! No, you don't wanna see What! Why not! HE MOONED ME. I got three of a kind Three of a kind Three of hearts Two of diamonds HAH. I DOn'T LiKE THIS. Fuck off, The Ace. And very kindly, Go fuck yourself. Four aces, Four aces A mindfuck for the both of us An open book And shotglasses And fans of ours Its good to laugh At the ones you love Love Love Love Love It's showbiz, It's showbiz; I love it I want to die. I love it I love it I missed the bar I fucked up somewhere. Don't look back in anger, Or don't look back at al. Fall, Fall, Fall Fall Fall Love Love Love Love Love Love Did you notice I haven't looked back. I put you up on a– Up on a Up on a pedestal Then remembered To forget it all, In indifference Foraged your signature Sorry, I don't want a lot of hawk-a-loogie clock-the-woman knockdown, dragout drama I got a feel for it. What if all your forfeitures were fortunes All your donuts turned subordinates To astronauts Or fake dreams for fak streams and dreaming of Don't bother me I'm on poverty I want walks on the beach and blue bunny ice cream sundaes I've got a whole city Marked off in my journal For frozen custard and Lost in a thought, are we? Trust me, I think I died. Trust me, I trusted the God of Mercy Trust me I went all the way to the burden, Bought a hammock And then worked harder than nobody No dropped calls from mother No one's home at all Work harder I thought Sweater Weather was my new DJ name, But as it turns out, It was my telepathy ringing me I rode to the top of the rock with the beatlesI didn't mean for it to be me But i was twice out of body, Once out of mind. Now give me a minute Please. Let me become indifferent Don't need no friends, Long roads Roundhouse kicks to the face Hard rolling baggage Heart shaped boxes Or Prophets Don't need dozens of roses don't need diamonds Do need dinosaursDo need phone numbers do Do do . –but don't– don't don't. When i fall in line I write books and poems, songs And suffer, slugger . This is what I struggled with– who paid the neighbor bitch to feed me the whole special And slam doors On my mental That shit struck a chord And rubbed me the wrong way But i'm humble I won't touch nobody's Body at all. Nobody's. Now my dreams make sense, kind of But why are these my dreams And not actual people and most of all What does it mean? That I'm equal to? Or lesser than? Like the emerald stone on Sir Paul McCartney's hand, I went green for a moment It's just banter.I'm just having a hard time (I can't sing in this apartment)I might need a band I might need a bandaid. I might need a bath Some peroxide and hair dye My heart's broken I'm having a hard time But still not struggling I might have a hard time But not as hard as the afterparty was, And I struck gold. Kept walking Roll dice. Four of a kind, Four kings, four aces Four of a kind, Four kites, And a night owl The Rock and the Kite, Part V STEFON It's this thing where… {Enter The Multiverse} –and that's why I wished my mom a happy birthday. [The Festival Project ™ ] Damn, the illuminati really showed out for the oscars this year. CONAN SHHHH. He even says “I Am” Then commands the stage Look at all those long legs Now we're on enclave or conclave? I don't know. I'm feeling more ravey. Tears of a Clown Nobody to save me Not even shug avery. Who? That's right? Now i'm feeling more Broadway, baby. L E G E N D S: Manifest Destiny I wanna see the snake sitting next to you; Show me those eyes I love models and the lack thereof Inside of them I want to see the feral reptile Show me those eyesI love that she flies through life Right to you Right It's a boys club Boy they Really prize these Chappel Roans and Timothee Chalemet But where am I at? –Adam Ruins Everything– A couple forced fake laughs Cause I like highlights Stagecrafts Craftservices And god knows I can't write like this And I'm About To die [CONAN O'BRIEN leaves television to run a Bed and Breakfast in ORLANDO.] INT. BED AND BREAKFAST. ORLANDO. … [Calamity ensues] Conan killed the oscars, Stole the wand, The show and the bowtie (hostses with the mostest) –and that's why he's Snowball. No, i'm sure it's because my fur is fluffy and– Okay no more outdated rick and morty references Fine. Was that Dillon Francis behind Ben Stiller Or do I still just like white guys That much. Why do A-Listers like reptiles so much? Show me those eyes, you know I could use a good lunch (Birds of Prey eat snakes) {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2018-2025 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.™ Episode Transcript: Yeah. Okay, this is terrifying. I haven't actually done this in it feels like way longer than it's been. In reality, it's only been like three like maybe three days, but it makes all the difference in the world. Hi. what's going on, I was just reminiscing about kitten mittens. Aw shit. I dropped my pen. If you remember if you're listening to this right now and you remember kittenman. congratulations, you've been with me since the beginning. um anyway, I don't know why I was just remembering that. kitten mittens. I thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world. I really I might have been delirious. losing my mind at a certain point, but I thought kittens was the best thing in the world. It was at the time. I was like I couldn't think of anything better. Then again, I was uh I don't know, I was discovering many hilarities. excuse the idiots in the back, they are idiots. um and they and they do this based on whatever I'm doing in my apartment. I'm their god. Anyway. I'm excused the background noise is still gonna be a a little bit uh while we're dealing with that, but at least you can help me collectively consciously remove them from existence entirely, um with the help of you know a collective existence we can get rid of evil. I don't I don't entirely. I'm not sure. I think that it would take a lot of people to understand that like a lot of it is just a game. I think it would take raising the entire consciousness of like people as a whole for them to understand that like, most of it is for entertainment and based off perceptions. So, like, whatever you' idea for the world is, like it was your idea. Whatever's making you upset is it was your idea. So I'm kind of coming to like terms with that in my own, like sense. I'm like, oh, yeah, like, whatever is happening, I'm like a certain like at the surface level is wrong, but like on a grander scale, like I programmed this into my reality for whatever purpose in order to better suit my, like ideal reality. That's, you know, that's that's it. I can't attribute it to anything else. They're idiots, cause I'm idiots. Anyway, what else is going on? I don't know, I was I'm gonna try and do this off book. I think I do have like I have some notes, but like I don't like the way that it feels when I'm going off of my notebook because it feels like robotic. It feels really, you know, like and not necessarily rehearsed, but it's it feels planned and when I listen back to the episodes where I do go off of like notes or something like that, I don't like the way that it sounds. Hearing myself back, going from a going going from like a script. And so I try to keep it like 100% improvisational and it keeps it fresh. and honestly, honesty goodness, I haven't been on the Peloton for like more than 15 minutes at a time since I stopped doing these episodes. I don't know what it is about the sound of my own voice, but maybe it's the fact that like, I'm in performance mode and I'm giving you guys like I'm in, you know, I'm like in my radio voice and then I'm watching back like a performance of myself in order to like, I don't know. It's like it's like experiencing myself for the first time secondhandedly because I'm not necessarily not thinking about what I'm saying, but I'm also not thinking about what what I'm saying or how I'm saying it as I'm saying it. And then, you know, sometimes I just really like even on my hardest days, sometimes I make myself laugh the very most, and I'm like, okay, there's another reason to keep doing it. Because for the most part, I'm like I don't wanna do this anymore, it costs me too much money and it's not. Like, I'm not a clut person. I'm just not a clout guy. I don't like doing stuff for clout, cause clout doesn't pay the bills and clout doesn't clout doesn't necessarily get you jobs, like unless it's like the right person's clout. Like, you get have clout from a million people, and if none of those million people are the well, a million is kind of where they drive line. Like if a million people are like, yeah, this is the shit, then it might get you a job. But like a million is probably the minimum number for that. Like if you don't have a million followers or you don't have a million views or you don't have a million of anything of just like clout like it doesn't pay bills. So I'm not a cloud person. I'm not just gonna do whatever off clout. What did I get off that on that clot rat for? I don't know, what was I saying? Oh, I'm going off book. I'm off. script. Anyway. what can I remember from things that I wrote down?, I don't know. I've been reading a lot. I've been, you know, doing doing the best that I can. I've been well, I've been reading. I've been reading children's books specifically because I'm finding information. Well, first of all, I picked up these children's books with the hope that I would be the owner of a small library and I'm not. I'm actually putting a lot of the books back into like society, which is fine. I'm just downsizing. It's actually helping me feel a lot better. Like my head is a lot clearer, my studio. My studio for for the first time in a long time was like a place that I can that I feel like I want to work. and it was the weirdest thing because I went through like a year of just like collecting whatever book I saw, like whether it was just like on a stoop, like I, you know, for whatever or out of the little free library or like just wherever, because books are everywhere in New York and that's probably my favorite thing hands down about New York is that like wherever you go there are books and they're free and you can pick them up. But I'm also very sensitive to energy, so as like an energy worker and a transmuter, it became congested to the point where it's like, okay, there is like a certain type of energy that's not that's foreign to me and as much cleansing and as much like, you know, whatever, as much, you know, in any kind of, you know, like spiritual work I was doing, there's an energy here that I'm not necessarily comfortable with. And I realized every time I picked up a book, I fell into like a certain type of world, you know, and it wasn't just like whether the book caught my attention from just like the cover or whatever, and then I decided to flip through it or whether it was like a book that I was stuck in, I was falling until like a certain energy or a certain world and that every book had a certain energy to it. And so I realized after a year of collecting hundreds of books that I had literally hundreds of energies, like floating through my space and it became like hectic and it became heavy to the point where I was like, like, I don't necessarily want to hold on to all these things. and so it's it's been really rejuvenating. I've been going through a time of just like not necessarily like I know I have a lot of stuff to do. but one of the stuff to do is is like going through all of the things that I know that I need to like let go of in order to feel better. And it has been helping me feel better. It has for the most part, I'm still doing a lot with like my energy recovery and the noise here has a lot to do with it. I'm now like I now have anxiety to the point where I have like a consistent nauseum. like every time I hear like any kind of motor, like I get sick and now it's it's actually getting worse the longer that I've stayed here with the noise, it's like I now have like an upset stomach all the time, headaches twitches. It's the it's the most fucked up thing ever. and I've also been learning more about because I'm, you know, still still really focused in my music and so frequencies and, you know, like I've always been like a huge believer and like layered frequencies for healing, like sound healing, beta thick alpha, and and the whatnot, but I finally caught onto a piece of information that made me realize how the noise outside has affected my brain chemistry and not just in the way that it's like it's annoying or it's a nuisance or it's harassment, which it is all of those things, according to the law, but in a sense of what's happening to my brain chemically, like the chemical changes that are happening in my brain, or the frequency changes that are happening in my brain are actually the things that are making me more upset than loss of sleep, or, you know, like a disruption or disorganization of my mind or my daily habits. The thing that's making me the most upset is what I'm realizing is it's changing my frequency, and I'm not talking about just my my aura I well, I am in a sense, but like the frequency, the frequency differences that that your brain your brain goes into different frequencies during, you know, waking state, alha state, better state, you know, and when you're sleeping, you're in um I well, it depends on the person actually, and it depends on the type of sleep that you're getting. Like most people sleep and like a data state from what I'm understanding and this is the state of like conscious dreaming. And this is this, I could be incorrect because honestly, I layer them anyway. And I finally I finally did it. I I did. I' I was working on a song and I realized that I achieved like perfect theta without actually even meaning to. And I think I did another one and that was like in perfect gamma without even like it was just mixed perfectly. that it I was also listening to like a gamatone and then I realized I was like, wait, is that the song or is it the tone? Because, you know, if the if the frequency that you're listening to is pure enough, it will actually distort the bass or the, you know, it will distort the entire sound of whatever you're listening to. So sometimes things can sound warped or like they're waving or like they're going through something because those tones are kind of like they're they're moving against each other or with each other just kind of depends. And so what what has been, well, I wanted to finish, well, yeah, I think I have at least one song now that's in theta, and I have at least one song that's in gamma, completely. and and I and I shocked myself because I was listening to the tones and I was like, wait, the wait a second. like, I'm feeling like double here. Is this this song that I'm listening to, that I'm checking back the mix, or is this the the frequencies? And I I turned off all the frequencies and sure enough, it was the song. It was like a pure I was like, wow. I'm like that's an achievement. I did it completely by accident and I wish I knew the formula that I used to do that.c some people are so mathematic about it. Like some people are so uh like, you know, some people do this to their music. A lot of people, especially inass music, that's why it is the way that it is, is you're going to a show to get these frequencies like zapped into your body at at full forces. and some people know how to do it on purpose. I did it on accident, so I'm like, if I can continue to achieve at this but I'm trying to figure out like the mathematical equation or like the actual sonic equation for making this happen, like every time, because going through my history ofass music, I will finish in a second, going through my history of bass music, I have always gravitated to the to these frequencies, to the frequencies that make me feel better after a certain amount of time listening to them or a certain amount of time being in in that frequency. So that's this is the music that has, I guess subconsciously kind of for the kind of artist that I am. But this is the reason why I'm upset about the noise. like the most upset about it, like not even on a legal level, on a social level, on a moral level, like, no, this is actually morally wrong, it is morally wrong on so many fucking levels. I'm like, why are you so like, why obviously I did this on purpose, like in my God complex, I'm like, oh, well, I can better the community as long as I make a point, like that environmentally, this is damaging people. It's giving people mental illness, that it or like if they're predisposed to mental illness, it's even worse, but it's it's also like causing mental illness and people that are otherwise healthy people, which is not a lot of people in New York City given. It's just not. It's not a healthy place. A lot of people are not healthy. But even in like moderately healthy humans, this noise disruption can cause like brain changes and chemistry changes, and this is the reason why I'm so upset is because when you are sleeping, if you are sleeping, your brain is in a certain level that is like in a healing state. In the first few minutes that you wake up, as I understand it. In the first few minutes after you wake up, your brain is in a state that it can like that you can manipulate your entire environment, that you can change things, that you can heal yourself. And so when I'm waking up in the first few minutes in the very first thing that I hear is a motorcycle that's ripping through my fucking brain, it's changing my brain frequency from a frequency that is like at the at the at a human level or at any kind of level, kind of the the thing that makes every human capable of being a genius, not the genius level able to heal yourself and the frequency that you're able to heal yourself is what you automatically wake up in. So when you' when this frequency is interrupted, it's intercepted in immediately into a negative thought pattern. And so you immediately, so what's happening, what's been happening to me over the last year with the motorcycle nuisance harassment problem or whatever the fuck I don't care what it's called on paper. I just want it to stop like I just want to live in peace. It's not like and kind of having like coming from a a background where I kind of tend to have like take responsibility for myself, like oh, it must be something that I'm doing and yes, I also have like a higher god complex or like an ego if you want to call it, that's like, oh no, I must have done this on purpose. And you know, like in order for the greater good, like in order to fulfill my purpose in some sort of way, it must be it must be part of my process to have this. That's also my ego like I'm a god. like, you know, that's just me, that's the generation. That's the generation that I come from. That's our mindset. Like nothing happens in this world without me in it, period. That's why rappers are rappers and that's why that's why models are models. We all have egos and it's really hard to kill the bitch. I've had at least ten ego dusts throughout my fucking like existence and it still comes back. It doesn't matter. You can have an ego death and be like a completely ego list for like what, six months tops? Eventually you're gonna have like the ego is is is imp important to survival, because I lost the word. I think implemental what was I gonna use? I was definitely a for syllable word. Either way, it is you need it. Like if you if you oh, you know, people might describe people, like being in like a in a sense of humility as like, oh, just completely without ego, but like at the end of the day, like, no, like your ego allows you to actually like compensate with the rest of the world, like, most people do not have no ego entirely, or at least for like, like a week after your acid tri or whatever, yeah, like, oh, had ego death and I completely. But like within I swear to God, like within six months time, like your ego has at least minimally like repaired itself. That's what an ego does, that's why you have it. You have it. It's a survival. It's it's a part of your consciousness that has to do with survival if you don't have your ego, like you're pretty much dead in the world, especially the way it is now. Anyway, this is that that's going to probably close up my spiel on that. Yeah, I'm upset because instead of like the first few moments of my waking moments being a healing, time, it is immediately going into disarray and chaos and anxiety. And so in in so I'm losing like, I don't I don't really care about oh, I mean, like I care about life in a sense, but I mean, like, and it in a mortal sense. I like, yes, it's taking years off of me. and I feel it like in the way that it's like, I I am slower to do regular things or like, whatever my rising thoughts, might be are completely just destroyed by this like what I've what I've come to perceive is like an evil force. It is evil in so many levels again this breaks down from like a higher consciousness to like a lower state of consciousness. The lower state of consciousness is saying that like these people are just idiots. They're idiots and they are not self aware of the fucking like pollution that they're doing on kind of middle sense, I'm like, oh, it's politics, it's like gentrification if these guys run around in circles, then people call up the fucking place, the place gets fucking more allocated funds to their fucking police officers, the police officers have fucking filling their quotas. It's all bureaucracy and paperwork and politics on that middle level and on the highest level it is like no, this is evil, it's pure evil because people are so grossed out by the fact that fucking New York is New York and also the wage and income and quality factor is that this guy is doing whatever the fuck he has to do brown. He's doing well, not that guy. that guy's that guy's a weak dick motherfucker. He has a small dick and everybody in the neighborhood knows it. He drives around and circle making people miserable. He also I'm it's the same dude. that same dude followed me to the Trader Joe's. It's the same dude, so I'm like, I like I know the sound of his bike from anything, so I definitely know when I'm at the Trader Joe's and then he's like all of a sudden traffic like, I'm like yo dude like why the fuck you following me to Trader Joe's like I live four miles away, which is not that far on the fucking motorcycle, but I came all the way over here on the subway for you to follow me on your bike. week, dick, bro.way, like, fuck this, fuck this, fuck that guy, fuck this neighborhood, fuck this place, fuck these politics, fuck these people. On a low frequency. Like on a low frequency, I'm like, fuck all this, like on a high frequency, I'm like, there's a purpose or whatever, it'll work, is temporary, blah, blah, blah. What the fuck was I saying? I don't know. I what the fuck was I ranting? I don't know. I that's that shiel, right? Trader Joe, hello Trader Joe. It's not safe. No, but you know, oh man, let's you say I, whatever. Let's just say oh, whatever. a lot. What else do we got? I don't know. I put on an album that came out today, yay, it's called all the rage. Actually, all that all that gripe about like, oh, it's an EP when I'm sure that the stores are gonna call it an album. I was like, I'm sure it's gonna be an album, so I just started calling it an album. like the release comes out and they're like, it's an EP, you congratulations. So I I thought I was putting out an album, that I was an EP, but it just missed the cutoff her album, because technically you can have a six track album and if it's over 30 minutes. If and you can have a six track album that's an EP like this, all the range is technically an EP at least according to Spotify's standards. And it's, I think it's like two and a half minutes under I think it's like 2 and a half minutes under, so it's an EP, but it's six tracks and I'm really excited about it. I kind of put a little bit more promotion into it than usual. I even had some press done, and that's great. because you can get pressed done. They're like,Yo, for $500. You'll be famous tomorrow. I'm like, that fucked up. That's a paycheck for some people. and that's not famous. also. They're charging people to be like spectacular. Well, they're charging they're like charging for people to be like popular, which is I think it's wrong, like ethically, you shouldn't be able to do that, like, oh, no, you're gonna get on all the playlists and whatever, you're gonna have like all like you should not be able to sell followers, like whether they're real people, which is slavery or they're robots, which is also slavery. Like you should not be able to sell fame that's making it like now I don't even trust like, okay, like this person got an award, but like, okay, because because the album was popular, because it was better than all the other ones. Or like, how do you know that you even heard all the albums because there are so many, and that like, okay, this person who put like zero dollars into promotion, how do you know that album wasn't better? because you didn't hear it? Because the person with a million dollar ad campaign won the fucking won the fucking award? Because you heard it because they put a million dollars into the fucking promotions. So it makes it makes everything the fact that everything is on a level system that's based on money is completely unfair. Like the all the industries are broken, it's not just music. Like, it's not just music. I'm like, holy shit, like you could spend like a year, an average year salary, which is what's the median income now. even with like no adjustment for inflation, like what, $50,000? Okay. So you could spend $50,000 on your your career so you'd have to you'd have to do that. That's even you're still competing with people who have a million dollars for doing nothing. That's insane. Anyway, I'm not bitter. What the fuck did I do earlier that I wasn't that literally the spirit that was like, don't be salty. I was like, oh, I was like,Yo, stop teaching models to fucking DJ, because I I happened on this girl that was like, yo, like I actually liked some of her music. I liked some of her music, but she wasn't doing much. And like everything was just fake. It was like super duper fake, but she was mad gorgeous and like more of these girls are popping up out of nowhere that are like not they're like models that are barely touching the decks and they're like a march. I'm like yo, dude, if that girl made this music like okay, maybe I should see her, but like, I'm like no somebody goes produce this because like she's moving badly in time to it and I realized something about being a producer is like yo if you spent enough time actually crafting this like this piece, you're not gonna move like badly to it like you're not going to move weird to music that you made because it's in you like it came from in your body. So like, I was like, I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at and I'm like, oh, I'm looking at propaganda. But then like, isn't that just kind of like discouraging people who don't have that type of body type or mindset, but it was funny because the algorithm was like don't be salty. It was like DJing is for everybody and if that's your passion and I'm like yeah, if that's your passion, but like, yo, when what where is the line between like propaganda and passion? Like, oh, I'm already a successful like, multimillionaire fashion model, but like I'm gonna be a DJ, like it washes out all the people who have actually like put in the work. It washes out all the people who have actually put in the work. Don't be salty. I was like fine, fine, but only because I like that algorithm. Only because I like that algorithm. I'm like fine, okay, we'll we'll be whatever. Whatever I've been reading. Oh, I read a book, let's see, let's see if I can remember the ones I already put back. I've been reading these uh this like children's book series on like famous people because I realized that they're written for children and I'm like, yo, dude, like somebody could read this whole series in the second grade and be smarter than me because I didn't know anything about the people that I'm reading about at all. And so they're like these little biographies. Well, I mean, they they're on a child's level. I don't know how long it would take a child to read, but they take me like an hour, hour and a half to read just like at a normal speed. And I read really fast. But I think the reason why from taking me so long to read them is because I actually take like a lot of I take a lot of like, I don't know, words or art to me, so if something is like especially musical, I might take it and be like that's a good song title. Like, if I think enough about this and what I know about this, like what kind of song is it? And, you know, just like little fun facts. Like first of all, I'm obsessed with George Lucas. I've never been a huge Star Wars person, just and I I realizing this. I've never been being on like Star Wars wicked. like, I've never been being on things that are like really, really big, but then I did grow up and kind of like a sheltered shut community where like most of the people like twilight, I wasn't hungerames, aylys Cyrus, well Hannah Montana at the time, okay? I just wasn't into those things, but most mostly because they're fans, actually, she just put out something that I kind of piqued my interest. It was in my fucking sl side bar. I was like, oh, no, what's this? I'm I might check it out. But I've been staying off the mainstream just cause I'm realizing like the reason that I'm seeing this is money and doesn't necessarily make it better or worse than anybody else. Because sometimes mainstream artists come out with crap and I think they do it on purpose, they're like,Yo, watch this. I can do whatever because so many millions of people love me, watch this. I'm like, damn. And then millions of people are like, yay, yes, yes, this. I'm like, the fuck? What did you do? And I'm pretty sure the mainstream artist is like consciously, even collectively like, you see what I'm saying? I can do whatever the fuck.c I did one thing cool, maybe like five things cool, like a long time ago, and literally don't have to do anything else. I just do this just to prove a poil. Like, I can shit on a track, literally. And millions of people will be like, I love you. I love you, please more of those. do it again. I'm like, oh, God, please, no. What the fuck? Millions of fans. Like once you have your fucking fan based unlock, like that's it. Like, you don't have to fucking people will be like, literally kissing at all of the ground that you touch for the rest of forever forever. That's it. I'm realizing that about fantom, so I'm like, yo, if you know what kitten mittens are. I'd still don't, but if you if you know kitten mittens, congrats, you're one of 12 people who actually like me. one of 12. I'm like 12 is enough. That's what Jesus had, right? might as well and Jesus technically have like 11 I don't know why I like that guy so much. I'm pretty much obsessed with him, too. I love Jesus. I'm like, Jesus is the god kind of I mean, like he's technically like three gods. anyway, why am I obsessed with uh George Lucas? First of all, he's one of the coolest people ever, Kate, like, okay, first he was a greaser, like a real greaser. like from the movie Grease, but like the actual thing before the movie Grease, cause if I if I'm not mistaken, he was like a greaser before they made Grease. That's crazy. Yeah, because Gre was like in the 70s, but it was about the 50s, right? I don't know. He was like an actual real life, like they just put Vaseline, I guess in their hair and wore like dirty shit and they were like, yeaheah, greaser. and they w and they fucking drove and they drove, what did they drive? I don't know, cars, old cars, and they would race them. I that was honestly I'm obsessed with this dude. I and now I kind of want to see Star Wars because I've never seen them. But honestly Star Wars is one of those things that, oh, that's what I was saying. God, yeah, well, yeah, I like grew up not liking Star Wars because all the people that liked it were mean. Like all those other things I named earlier in the episode. Like they're fans sucked, so I was like, I definitely cannot see myself getting into this. And so I never did, but now I'm well, as happy as I am being single. I save certain things for like just a case. I ever get in a relationship. I'm like Star Wars. I've never seen that. Like I saved certain things for like you know, like I wouldn't necessarily want to watch it by myself. I think I'd get geeked, though, now, now that I understand, like the kind of person that created Star Wars, I'm like, yo, dude, like he's the shit. Like, okay, first of all, okay, if I did the math, secondly, no, cause the first of all thing was like, he's a greaser. That's the coolest thing about George Lucas. Yeah. I mean, like I mean, like there was so many cool things. I had to take notes, I had to stop. I was like bending back pages, I was like, all this dude's the best. Okay. I was like,Yo, okay, whatever. Like, uh, oh, well, that was one of the last things I read. If I did the math right, this dude has like a 12 year old. He's older than my dad. My dad's pushing 80. I'm like, is he 80? He's like 80 with a 12 year old. That's incredible. That's I have so much respected admiration for that. Because it kind of proves my point that like if you're dude, you can just like keep on popping them out, popping them out. But he also like adopted kids, I think. Yeah, yeah. And he also like adopted kids. was at him? Yeah. Yo, I'm telling you there's so much practice into these little books. I'm like, okay, whatever, what else is cool. I don't know, he just seems he just seems like the dude just seems like the dude. I was likeYo. I I can't remember all the notes I took, but those those two things alone. I'm like, yeah, I earn my respect. I did write down a quote earlier that was like, what did he used to say? oh, do that again but better? I'm like, yeah, that sounds that sounds accurate. And then I liked the fact that like all his worlds within his worlds are like connected, so he'll leave Easter eggs within worlds of different Indiana Smith. He really liked the name Indiana because I guess he had a dog named Indiana, which was named after somebody else that was named Indiana. And I had no idea that Indiana Jones was like his brainchild or like close to it. I was like, whoa, this dudees are fucking legend, like a real like an actual, like this dude's a G for George Lucas. He's the best. I was like, yeah, dude. I could not put that book down. I was like sitting in cold bathtub water like, oh my God, this is such a pain turner. I gotta read about this dude until the very end of this book and I did. I would not put it down. I was like, George Lucas is the man, bro. like the man, I don't like like, yo, cool dude. I like that guy. I've never seen Star Wars. I have, I've seen like the beginning. It's like in the time, blah, fucking blah, blah, fucking talk. Yeah, and then I started writing my own movies, you know. It's not that any of them, you know, as whatever, you know, sometimes it's circumstance, sometimes sometimes I' just realize that I make excuses. Like I have no reason not to be as successful as any of these people that I'm reading about, because I'm finding personality traits about myself as I'm reading about them, like Albert Einstein Total Duis. He might have been like like functionally retarded. I'm pretty sure he was retarded, but also a genius. Like like, oh, okay, this is the coolest thing about Albert Einstein are we done inukas never, never. He's immortal, right? We'll see him at some point. He's so cool. He's so cool anyway. I was like, yeah, dude, this dude is cool. But there's that's the Alb Einstein, my man, okay, so like, slowly almost solely responsible for the invention of the Adamah. That's dope. On accident, though, because once he realized what had like once he realized that, okay, like, okay, I'm correct about this. For sure, I'm definitely correct about this, but like, yo okay, should we back up a little bit? First of all, he didn't say anything until he was like four. Didn't say anything, not a not a single word, his parents were like,o, something's wrong with him. Like even back in the day where it's like, uh don't know. Something's wrong with him. He's not saying anything. The doctors were like, he's perfectly fine.'s fine. And he didn't say anything his entire life until one day, apparently, he sat down to dinner with his parents and the soup was too hot, and that's what he said he's like the soup is too hot. Like, could you imagine, like having a kid that you're like 100% sure is retarded? Oops, nope, you can't say that. Okay, well, you could. Then so let's just shouldn't I just cancel you can't say that. Why, though? Like, okay, when I was growing up, you have to understand I come from a time where it was like you could just call that to somebody cause they were being dumb, but not dumb, right? But I mean like at a certain point, like, okay, technically Helen Keller was deaf dumb and blind, but like sometime and I'm assuming like between the 70s and 80s, it became a slang for like that's dumb. Like, don't do that because whatever you're doing is not right, which is like, okay if you're not right, then you're what? Retarded. Like, I'm sorry. I'm like some certain things are not going to be like, I'm, you know. I'm like early 2000s game or culture, that's gay, but I love gay. It's like nobody's being derogatory about that. I'm being derogatory about your behavior and I might even use it as like a positive you know what's what describing words or adjectives? I don't know. I'm going through. I'm going to processes realizing that like, okay, I'm at the age where certain information is gonna be offloaded. Certain like it's not coming back ever. Like, you like, I I know Spanish, but only if I have to speak it and it's not like, I'm not developing any other nothing else is like my brain is like, we don't need this, do we? I'm like, I don't know. Maybe I should hold on to that. No, no, we don't need this. I'm like, okay, well. there are certain things about me that are just not gonna change at this point. I'm not sorry, because honestly, weren't too offended at everything when, like, there're there are things that are offensive that nobody really is offended about. like, if you really found an offensive, it would not exist anymore, you know? Because when somebody becomes really passionate about something, and they change it. Which is why I'm taking my time. I like, youo, annihilation is imminent. Like this cannot be anymore. Like, you don't change my brain chemistry. Fuck that shit. my brain chemistry is perfect the way that it is. Like I'm almost sure that like the entire mental health industry will change based on ideals that are like blooming and other like in other what the fuck was I just saying exactly ideas that are already springing up in in small circles. like they'll, you know, be one day. Like that's just valid, like nothing's really wrong with you. something's wrong with the world. Like, why? Like, and what can we do to change that? It could be environmental completely. It could take somebody with like severe mental health issues, severe schizophrenia, severe bipolar disorder, severe fucking severe depression, severe anxiety and change their environmental factors or even just like change the fact that that like they're facing poverty, poverty is a mental illness and that's not what it's not looked at as such. It's looked at as a deficiency on the individual's part when it could be like and it could be a polethro of environmental factors. That'll change. It will in my lifetime. I know that it will. It may not be because of me because for the most part, I'm a pacifist. I really am. I'm a yoder, like, honestly, it has to be like visibly hurting someone else or hurting me painfully enough for me to be passionate about it to make it change. Like, I'm sorry, I'm not. I don't want I don't really want to be a leader, especially because like people are still like populating this planet. I don't necessarily I don't I don't wanna be like a a leader in anything because that is like that's too much power. Honestly, just let me play the music and then fuck off. And I will fuck off. Like if you think I talk too much or you find me annoying or you think I'm stupid like eventually I I disappear. That's it a self-reflective Go away, all right. I't have to be asked twice. I don't stay in places where I'm not welcome. So, New York it's been good. Are't not really. But somebody I thought okay, who else am I obsessed with? I love this new lady that I found. Her name is Gina something rather fucking amazing. I I love New York people because I love New York people. Like I really do. like it is well, it's hard to fucking there's a fucking oh, honestly, it could be simplified to this as like, okay, maybe this embraces like the new the New York feminine and what I really hate is the New York masculine, which is just toxic, just disgusting, like where I spinning on things, shut the fuck up, like, are you not self aware? Like it's it's certain level of and I'm not, I'm really not binary in the sense where it's like balanc, bro. like balance, like a little bit of everything is good and like half masculine, half feminine is like a good balance, non-binary embracing that. But like yo, dude, there's a certain rasculinity about the city that's the thing that makes it nasty. It was like, whoa. whoa. I'm like, that's nasty, but I was oh, okay, I'm in love with this person. Her name is like Gene or something rather. I'm still I still have like I no, I have no feet in the comedy pool cause like I realized I stopped performing comedy and I stopped writing it, and like all the like semi tragic possibility, like possibly hilarious situations that were happening to me when I was actively writing comedy just stopped. I was like good, I don't necessarily need to be in that right now. That's that has sailed and will probably later sink, but I don't want to be in there if like, okay, like you're funny, if like sad and bad shit happens to you all the time. I'm like, that's fucked up. I don't wanna be that guyc 50 years from now I could be that guy and like still not earn a penny more than I'm earning right now making music underground. So if it's if I had to choose between the two, I've already earned mastery in recording arts. 10,000 hours or more, like I don't necessarily like being a comic is like another ladder. It's another it's a thing. And honestly, when I stopped like, well, I mean, like I I took a break from tears of a clown because it became such a like passion project for me that I was like, oh, this is that I'm caring too much like I should stop. and still not finish and it's not it's not like, it never had a release date in mind, so it's not necessarily like what's it delayed? Yeah, it's not delayed, and it's not it's definitely not in hiatus, but like, I realized that I have a certain responsibility to my audience altogether. It like to do this show as well and so like this, there's been taking kind of a priority, knowing that like my hiatus has been longer than any other hiatus is, and that I owe it to like my homegrown audience and my weird coat following to like okay like I have to give you guys everything from fucking like November to now and just musically that's a lot but then I've also the writing has also accompanied it and so it would be a shame to just let that go entirely because I feel that like my actual, my actual fan base is here in this show, unfortunately, well, not unfortunately, because I've started to get like a sense of familiarity within the dance music scene, like, as a producer through this podcast as a medium, because when I started doing this podcast, like, it wasn't like people weren't generally like now people are doing like following my, what's it? format. Like people weren't really doing DJ mixes and like putting music on podcasts, like it just wasn't people weren't doing it. I was the only one doing it now everybody's doing it and it makes me want to do it less, but then also like I have to kind of show consistency with myself in order for me to feel like I'm still doing something. What was that rant about? I don't know. I'm obsessed with this lady name's Gina or something rather. She's super New York. What would she say? that I really liked? Oh, if you didn't know the rules before you got to New York, you you like if you came to New York and you're not having a good time, you probably didn't know the rules before you got here.rect. I didn't come here on purpose. This was my layover city. I came here by accident and I did not know the rules. Now I'm learning the rules and I'm like the rules are fucked up and rules are kind of meant to be broken if you're disturbing my peace, I will then disturb your peace. No, I will not. I do not believe an eye for an eye, and also I feel that you are dangerous people. I will then report you to the police and and make the proper documentation in order for it to stop. I'm a snitch. I don't give a fuck. Like if you're actually hurting me, like if you're changing my the way that I think and the way that I feel, like if you're making me sick inside of my own environment, like you deserve it. I'll give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I don't give any kind of fuck. And then that way, I am a feminist, cause it's like, yo, dude, like how long are you gonna sit and take somebody hurting you before you actually realize that like you're not the problem they are and in order for their behavior to stop, you have to actually like you have to prevent this by stepping up for yourself. It's kind of like a show and like, okay, like like at a certain point it is kind of like a game. Like how long are you going to let me do this to you before you just fucking like get up and fucking hit me back? And I'm like, I don't want to like, I don't want to fight, but at the same time, like, bro, like I've been getting my ass whipped by these idiots and so I'm like, okay, I have to actually, but I'm still not a fighter. I have to do it in a way that makes sense and so that the community can be improved when I move on. Like I don't necessarily want to put somebody in the same place that I am now because I really am not I don't and just improve it. Like I believe so much in doing that, like not just leaving no trace, but like improving the place from which you are situated when you leave so that when the next person comes through, they don't have to struggle through the same hardship. So in that way, leadership, sure, be

[A beautiful dog enters the palace; C'esme't is pleased—actually, more thrilled.] Now! (Yo!) [The Dog sits at the entrance.] Call to me. [he speaks from the mind (telepathically) with a familiar tonal voice] Come, sweet stranger! [The Dog approaches] For it is I, the King who walks as not a ghost For yet the call has spoken that I be your loyal shadow (it's me; the King. I've been called to watch over you) Then? (Elaborate.) For now I came as waked dost I as ghost and wandered, pity and pardoned by no army dared Aghast my throne And agape my eyes, Wide my mouth and nostrils, Disemboweled and yet, I did wake with my fortune And tidings in my kingdom, a hidden realm, For there slayed, as I wept, The others dared to swallow, This truth, I, as knight and pawn doth slay the Queen, For titled King no friend of mine; And now, this beast as blood dost froth, My mind does waste, but here I bark Fortunate! To be laid by as you, I will. Then, creature, as you may! For free, this I, And coming not the time I shall l awaken, And then, though, Does the true challenge to bear, The altar; the stone, the shield and the rope From which I pull, and thee shall fight. Marriage of souls. To fancy this beast, betrayeth not. For something barks as is an end As a man does call a lover friend And so lover-friend I am and shall be. Lol what the fuck. So he's a dog now. ‍♀️ wtf is going on in this show. Idk. I'm baked. Enter The Multiverse L E G E N D S: Manifest Destiny ‍♂️ Ascension: Enter the Multiverse The titles switched. Good idea. So maybe I should stick with t mobile? Idk. Mint mobile is 15 dollars a month for unlimited talk and text. HERE AND NOW I DECREE, THIS FEAST DOES NOURISH ALL OUR MINDS AND HEARTS TO FIGHT THE GOOD WAR AGAINST ALL HE WHO SQUANDER THE MERCY OF PEACE! TO COURAGE! lol you lost me. I'm grasping at strings here. I needs a means to an end I need a body bag, body bag I need a King and a dog And a cat and an owl And a mark and a dawn And a knife and a gun Call it what you want I was not at the rock But that's where I was going I'm lost in Omaha I was just on the dark With the dark and the walkers The king and the rabbit The facts and the stalkers But who sunk the boat? Who sunk the boat Now this is encouragement! Acknowledgements? Nothing yet. Disaster strikes obvious and No regrets But obvious I'm in it for the long run And it transpired for the job done But the waffles came out awful And crispier than I wanted Almost every time So I took the iron back to target And I know I came out with a double album in August But I got no promotions So I won't walk the carpet So I won't walk the carpet I know I know I'm no Joan Rivers Or Joan of ark so I won't talk the gossip I won't talk the gossip I won't talk the gossip Now, more followers Show boat, Throw him overboard into a rowboat With no paddles And horseshoes on em— That outta show ‘em Rondevouz Rob us all Noah's Ark Don't get so lost in the story Lost in the sory Lost in the LORNE MICHAELS …you caused this. [In a secret lab inside of 30 Rock, A group of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE alumni are trapped inside a metal box; this room has no doors and no windows and seems to be amplifying thought frequencies each of them hears uniquely, but distinctly, and very, very loudly. This is due to the irrefutable fact that they are all gifted telepaths, due to having served time often looking into the lenses of live broadcast cameras. it is theorized that, because of this anomaly— a strange and untraceable signal seeming to intercept all of Rockefeller Plaza's Radio antennae transmissions, it may be an unknown extraterrestrial force attempting to comminicste with 30 Rock from space. On this day, they've been gathered and trapped here in an emergency focus group to attempt to remedy the problem. Haha. MAKE IT STOP. OH MY GOD WHAT IS THST, WHYYYYYYYYY! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYHY!!! Craters full of lullabies and dictionary definitions; Tense intimate interactions, and now, this hypertension. I have a secret, a dirty little secret. I didn't do it! It wasn't me! Hmm..okay–vouch. I'm telling you–wait– vouch? Yeah, I vouch. You're vouching me? I'm vouching you. She's vouching me. She vouched you. So i'm good? You're good. I'm good. You're good. Ok. SETH MEYERS is the best secret keeper in the entirety of the known and unknown multiverse. The respective deities and entities within the outer realms have taken notice to this; One of the world's greatest eve played game has become the ritualistic endeavor of tracking down this human in order to attempt to overwhelm him so that he might eventually crack or implode, or even acknowledge these sometimes outrageous events and otherworldly happenings; thus far, he has not. As of recently, the elders of the darkest deities from the furthest outer realms and legions of Hell have been taking this game with the now very famous and successful seth meyers, a popular TV host; this has elevated the e ntirety of the threshold for Seth's tolerance, and it appears he may soon be pushed to crack. So why are you on the wire? I atrophied at extravagant Tip toed in the tip ties; Til' then, i went there, Now summer starts in winter Now summer starts in winter Now summer starts in winter Pull the curtain back, Then you censor this Censor this! I pull the curtain back, then redact then redact don't react don't react It's an act it's an act Shit I pull the curtain back then I bow; It's a show now Pull the curtain back then I show, It's a showdown Listen up, Listen down I super blow my flow now, super bowl my pronouns You can't lose if you don't pick a team You can't win if you don't even play I can't pay you if I don't get a paycheck I can't work at it if it's not fame Oh no! I can't work at it if it's not fame. The isms is the synthesis; I only got one present for christmas When you [can] Take that spark and bury it in your heart, don't remark about it– Then, probably you're a comic Or an alcoholic, one of the two of them Wrong not to touch, then Willed you back into existence And still it's in exigence, and Guilty by association Guilty by association I just want to know what the current Tonight Show budget is for hair dye. Also wondering why JImmy's suit is grey, but his hair isn't? Is that a two in one? Honest to God my only question about this man. The rest can remain as mystery. Act V Part II Guilty By Association Sometimes I Stevie Wonder what you're up to; I can't see you but I know you're in my aura Sometimes I Richard Pryor while you're on my mind; I guess you could say you set my soul on fire My, my my Look what time it is I've only just begun to know you; Then I had to dieSo turn the light off My eye Turn the light off for awhile And follow me to darkness Follow me To the other side. It's not true, but it'll do I might have lost you somewhere Better off to leave you somewhere sure; If it's not pure And how could it be When only the light hits the snow And bounces off The warmth is an illusion, And your love is just a dream And anyway, anyway There's nothing i've ever been surer of Than the definite end, The enter and exit And when planets align, Only to fall completely out of orbit Now what was this for again Foreigner, object identified and destroyed it's destructive qualities, Tentative in a nature Sure, pressure– Resentment, Intense good moments of pleasure, Then signals sent Completely by accident. -Now that i've been thinking lately of Bill Murray And my formerly imaginary friend Riff Raff, Now i'm sure that There may be some telepathy involved Which means I should probably just– Go somewhere else now. Should I be sorry for my thoughts? I'd rather not, But still YO. Yo dude, what the fuck. I'VE BEEN STUCK IN THIS MOVIE FOR LIKE A YEAR. That's not that long… IT'S A LONG TIME TO BE IN A MOVIE. Please don't tear me to pieces; Don't blow the balloon up, No foul ball, No side eye No fowl play And dinner is as cold as it gets But dinner does warm In the aluminum foil, But all out of order, The border patrol is just Digging for details Digging for details. And it's this: You don't know what it is, Until you get into it, And it sets into you The only way it can When it's in you. Are you paying attention to this? Or can I just end it? Boston accents or what, And now i really think It's just inside my head It's just inside my head and This is getting weird. All of a sudden, I'm oh wonder and I love it And Sara Silverman has The prettiest brown eyes I've ever seen (on a celebrity) ((with whom I share a gender)) Aha. Okay, Sabrina Carpenter has a very pretty voice But that doesn't make me Any less jealous Or any less capable of explosion Disarm me I'm catching up on the specials I missed Being special I guess With no grocery subscription Aim low, Get high, I guess Rob Lowe, Build time, I guess I miss the old announcer, And the golden years I miss the former times And the mouse ears I learned my less I might got Kim K and TSwift Pointer Finger Could hold a tune to you, Who The joys of live theatre, And the catastrophe of the Impenetrable Boy oh boy is Television getting heavy Turn up the ridiculousness and Atrocious Atrocities and Acidophilus Anorexic, I wish i could digest this –and expand my vocabulary I wish I was better than I am So i could be Capable Can Kim Kardashian ever not just be Naturally beautiful at everything Doing everything Kim The J I can't sing in this apartment And it might actually kill me The devil lives next door on both sides I'm in a satan sandwich I guess I'm just Not free I must have fucked up last lifetime I must have fucked up last lifetime I might have looked just like her I want to get upstaged by Eddie Murphy More corpse suits! Pink lipstick! Slap the desk Check the camera Front loading! Front loading! I want a chance at humbling white america (just kidding) I want a wig that looks like an afro (cause I don't have one) I want Lorne Michaels to shame me into beng better By making me feel mediocre first So I hit the high bar When I hit the body bag I hit the body bag When I hit the high road With Letterman YOU STOLE MY BODY TO GO TO A BLACK TIE FUNCTION!? Yeah. Well–which one? Okay, you're gonna get a kick out of this. I'm giddy for physical comedy THIS IS MY MANIFEST DESTINY MY MANIFEST DESTINY AHHHHHHHH MY MANIFEST DESTINAAAAAAA Comedy comes in all forms And God comes in all Karma I brace myself for repeating my mantras I light candles But don't blow them out I just might get my wish DO NOT RESIST. I AM RESISTING THIS ARREST. Oh yeah. YES. Shoot him. NO, DON'T. SHOOT HIM, BILLY BOB, SHOOT ‘EM. Crocodile hunter turned hard-up cop Read him his rights! He ain't white enough. So she's perfect! Me? I've been taken in I can't stand to stamp I can't christmas, Backwards And backwash And sanford and sons And Whatever And… Ego might eat me like Eggos Like Hannibal Burress was holding At the market I left my Ego at the door But there's just no room for the both For the both of us I KNOW I'll just write her a hit show! What. YES. THEN, SHE'LL LEAVE SNL, AND THEN I'LL BE THE BLACK GIRL ON THE SHOW MWAAHAHAHAHAHA Ok. wtf happened to that girl? SUNNI BLU [kicking and screaming] I TOLD YOU I'M NOT GOING ON FA– —-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! So many beautiful people, or, rather The actors, Or should I say Vortex Then. Too many beautiful people I spent the whole night warm and holed up in the office What could come out of The Rock I don't know where to look I'm not used to the audience Duh, that. I'm a professional audience member But i don't remember the ending Anybody? Anybody? Any envy actor actress? BPM: Dosage Anxiety Remix Honestly fuck the comed circut I just want to know what it's like to have a body What's it like to have a body? I'm just a collective consciousness robot Adapting to my environment I can't sing in this apartment! I'm in a Satan Sandwich And would be The God in the middle If God didn't find this Absolutely hilarious So I'm on 24 hours; You're on Saturday Nights, But i'm on 24 I broke my Don't-look up-folks rule on Brittney Howard Cause I think i'm just like herBut more of a coward. You're on Saturday Night Live But i'm on 24 Hours It hurts longer And stronger Every moment I'm gone And still not a mom I wish I could change my eyes The color of the world Before it all ends Earth gone And oceans of mud No tide And no moon (The Earth without the Sun) I don't want to know you I don't want to owe you a lesson. I don't want to go there. I don't want no dance numbers. I don't want no GOATS here. No goats here. I don't get it, Mass Media– Is this flattery, or Deception? Humiliation? Based in perception, I see, so Is this recognition or Did I just send Dillon Francis my script in the beginning? No answer, by God. What an asshole What if Alienz Don't like lesbians. What is trance is just bad dance music. That's… What if edifice breaks for a daily regimen of Letterman? What if RUN, FALLON, RUN! I'M ATTACHED TO A KITE I HAVE NO CONTROL OF THIS. WELL, WHAT IS IT ATTACHED TO?! YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW! —NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Look, It's Meryl Streep! Holy shit, Meryl Streep is hot. What.(I can't keep secrets>) God doesn't keep good secrets. Just stop talking. Look, It's “My Bad Chad” Holyfuck Are you gonna have all those burned off too? Or can I do it for you? (might cost less) Jk Kim K That's a tough act to follow. Ariana? Nah, Backup; Had that. Meanwhile: Me in a hatchback Campin' at the Palisades. My name's the hammer –Adam ruins everything– I am not goin' starstruck –Adam Ruins Everything– My name's the Hammer (I'm a hammer, damn) –Adam Ruins Everything– I love showbiz But I got hard work comin on Now pause:: I need a break Need to make money Now i get a two for one Two for one Hate me or love me Either way, I'm gonna show up, Blow up, Glow up, And fuck off I'm a lost cause Cause I lost God On a talk show The way the camera moves makes me nauseous virtual reality And everybody's mad at me for Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy Conan “snowball” O'Brien But why's he called that. Shh! Not Yet. Oh, you are so overdone and fucked right now! Shh! My mom might be listening. Like she's never heard the word ‘fuck'? Shhhh! MOM I heard that! See! She said she heard it; she didn't say stop it. Well stop it. Fuck me man! SHH. KNOCK IT OFF. Yes Mrs. Mason Who the fuck is Mrs. Mason. Come on, white america; Put me on late night I promise you I'll watch more hallmark artists Than all of them Every day over here is a suit and tie function Camera one? YOU DONE FUCKED WITH US FOR THE LAST TIME. Ah shit. lol . whart is thrus. Fucking–magicians or something. Freemasons. F– Alright. Where is he? Where is who? You know who! What? Donaghey!!!!!!!! Lol Alec Baldin is like 200 years old. *cackles too hard, falls over and dies* Yikes. JACK DONAGHEY enters from a Parallel dimension and sees ALEC BALDWIN'S CORPSE. …Huh. Who's this handsome son of a bitch, I wonder. Don't wonder too hard. We gotta find that court order and get out of here. What court order [Cort hors d'oeuvres] what. I don't know. It almost kind of rhymed with corpse and wonder and I'm still stuck writing in cadences. What for! Oh wow, the neighbor was really a plant forreal. STOP SLAMMIN THAT Yo fuck this. Waht the fuck am I supposed to do with all this information. [appearing entirely out of nowhere, as always.] JIMMY FALLON I told you to burn it. OH MY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST. STOP DOING THAT. I can't. That's– Apparently what I do. WELL GET OUT OF HERE. Wish I could. Strapped to a kite. THEN HOW ARE YOU STANDING HERE? WHAT? I'm learning a lot of things up there! UP–WHERE! Up yours. WHAT. *poofs* UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I hate him. I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM. I hate this. TINA FEY Fuckit, he hates himself. Lets just assume. No, that's it. That's the singularity. What. It can't– He's just so confi— That's the singularity. [everything ploofs back to normal] See. I win. FUCK. ARE YOU SERIOUS!? I'M YOUNG AGAIN. i”M YOUNG AGAIN. [The entire cast stares at their returned to period-accurately aged cast mate; He appears so confident and wise, however–just a glint of insecurity falls over him–this indeed was the singularity; rather than to risk all of time and space defrabicating for a third and albeit final time, they rain down on their castmate, with the angry hellfire of a gregorian mob, urging him to GO LOVE YOURSELF. Long Night at work, or just Shoo fly, don't bother me– I'm more caught up on the Rudolph Storyline, How it's some mystic But I missed it With the lip stick And the vintage this and thats Person Welcome to Hogwarts, Of course, It's your funeral God bless the illuminati All I see is– NOT IT. IT WASN'T ME. I DIDN'T DO IT. JLO BITCH, STOP TALKING. Woah, What the FUCK JLO. JLO WHAT IN THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY? I–wh– Wait… Fallon? SHHHHThhHHHTHhhTHHHH!! Give me one bet Died inside Who's doing which thing God bless these envies! Gie me one shot Now who am I?Ace in the hole? I died inside. Don't break the barrier Don't run the wall Don't be the villain Fall, JImmy, Fall. To float, or to fall Or to walk away To shop at the mall Or to bet it all on Fall on And I tell you to jump, you jump! And I tell you to move, You move! And I tell you to movie, You movie! And I show you the blue OH GOD. Gimmie the binoculars! No, you don't wanna see What! Why not! HE MOONED ME. I got three of a kind Three of a kind Three of hearts Two of diamonds HAH. I DOn'T LiKE THIS. Fuck off, The Ace. And very kindly, Go fuck yourself. Four aces, Four aces A mindfuck for the both of us An open book And shotglasses And fans of ours Its good to laugh At the ones you love Love Love Love Love It's showbiz, It's showbiz; I love it I want to die. I love it I love it I missed the bar I fucked up somewhere. Don't look back in anger, Or don't look back at al. Fall, Fall, Fall Fall Fall Love Love Love Love Love Love Did you notice I haven't looked back. I put you up on a– Up on a Up on a pedestal Then remembered To forget it all, In indifference Foraged your signature Sorry, I don't want a lot of hawk-a-loogie clock-the-woman knockdown, dragout drama I got a feel for it. What if all your forfeitures were fortunes All your donuts turned subordinates To astronauts Or fake dreams for fak streams and dreaming of Don't bother me I'm on poverty I want walks on the beach and blue bunny ice cream sundaes I've got a whole city Marked off in my journal For frozen custard and Lost in a thought, are we? Trust me, I think I died. Trust me, I trusted the God of Mercy Trust me I went all the way to the burden, Bought a hammock And then worked harder than nobody No dropped calls from mother No one's home at all Work harder I thought Sweater Weather was my new DJ name, But as it turns out, It was my telepathy ringing me I rode to the top of the rock with the beatlesI didn't mean for it to be me But i was twice out of body, Once out of mind. Now give me a minute Please. Let me become indifferent Don't need no friends, Long roads Roundhouse kicks to the face Hard rolling baggage Heart shaped boxes Or Prophets Don't need dozens of roses don't need diamonds Do need dinosaursDo need phone numbers do Do do . –but don't– don't don't. When i fall in line I write books and poems, songs And suffer, slugger . This is what I struggled with– who paid the neighbor bitch to feed me the whole special And slam doors On my mental That shit struck a chord And rubbed me the wrong way But i'm humble I won't touch nobody's Body at all. Nobody's. Now my dreams make sense, kind of But why are these my dreams And not actual people and most of all What does it mean? That I'm equal to? Or lesser than? Like the emerald stone on Sir Paul McCartney's hand, I went green for a moment It's just banter.I'm just having a hard time (I can't sing in this apartment)I might need a band I might need a bandaid. I might need a bath Some peroxide and hair dye My heart's broken I'm having a hard time But still not struggling I might have a hard time But not as hard as the afterparty was, And I struck gold. Kept walking Roll dice. Four of a kind, Four kings, four aces Four of a kind, Four kites, And a night owl The Rock and the Kite, Part V STEFON It's this thing where… {Enter The Multiverse} –and that's why I wished my mom a happy birthday. [The Festival Project ™ ] Damn, the illuminati really showed out for the oscars this year. CONAN SHHHH. He even says “I Am” Then commands the stage Look at all those long legs Now we're on enclave or conclave? I don't know. I'm feeling more ravey. Tears of a Clown Nobody to save me Not even shug avery. Who? That's right? Now i'm feeling more Broadway, baby. L E G E N D S: Manifest Destiny I wanna see the snake sitting next to you; Show me those eyes I love models and the lack thereof Inside of them I want to see the feral reptile Show me those eyesI love that she flies through life Right to you Right It's a boys club Boy they Really prize these Chappel Roans and Timothee Chalemet But where am I at? –Adam Ruins Everything– A couple forced fake laughs Cause I like highlights Stagecrafts Craftservices And god knows I can't write like this And I'm About To die [CONAN O'BRIEN leaves television to run a Bed and Breakfast in ORLANDO.] INT. BED AND BREAKFAST. ORLANDO. … [Calamity ensues] Conan killed the oscars, Stole the wand, The show and the bowtie (hostses with the mostest) –and that's why he's Snowball. No, i'm sure it's because my fur is fluffy and– Okay no more outdated rick and morty references Fine. Was that Dillon Francis behind Ben Stiller Or do I still just like white guys That much. Why do A-Listers like reptiles so much? Show me those eyes, you know I could use a good lunch (Birds of Prey eat snakes) {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2018-2025 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.™ Episode Transcript: Yeah. Okay, this is terrifying. I haven't actually done this in it feels like way longer than it's been. In reality, it's only been like three like maybe three days, but it makes all the difference in the world. Hi. what's going on, I was just reminiscing about kitten mittens. Aw shit. I dropped my pen. If you remember if you're listening to this right now and you remember kittenman. congratulations, you've been with me since the beginning. um anyway, I don't know why I was just remembering that. kitten mittens. I thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world. I really I might have been delirious. losing my mind at a certain point, but I thought kittens was the best thing in the world. It was at the time. I was like I couldn't think of anything better. Then again, I was uh I don't know, I was discovering many hilarities. excuse the idiots in the back, they are idiots. um and they and they do this based on whatever I'm doing in my apartment. I'm their god. Anyway. I'm excused the background noise is still gonna be a a little bit uh while we're dealing with that, but at least you can help me collectively consciously remove them from existence entirely, um with the help of you know a collective existence we can get rid of evil. I don't I don't entirely. I'm not sure. I think that it would take a lot of people to understand that like a lot of it is just a game. I think it would take raising the entire consciousness of like people as a whole for them to understand that like, most of it is for entertainment and based off perceptions. So, like, whatever you' idea for the world is, like it was your idea. Whatever's making you upset is it was your idea. So I'm kind of coming to like terms with that in my own, like sense. I'm like, oh, yeah, like, whatever is happening, I'm like a certain like at the surface level is wrong, but like on a grander scale, like I programmed this into my reality for whatever purpose in order to better suit my, like ideal reality. That's, you know, that's that's it. I can't attribute it to anything else. They're idiots, cause I'm idiots. Anyway, what else is going on? I don't know, I was I'm gonna try and do this off book. I think I do have like I have some notes, but like I don't like the way that it feels when I'm going off of my notebook because it feels like robotic. It feels really, you know, like and not necessarily rehearsed, but it's it feels planned and when I listen back to the episodes where I do go off of like notes or something like that, I don't like the way that it sounds. Hearing myself back, going from a going going from like a script. And so I try to keep it like 100% improvisational and it keeps it fresh. and honestly, honesty goodness, I haven't been on the Peloton for like more than 15 minutes at a time since I stopped doing these episodes. I don't know what it is about the sound of my own voice, but maybe it's the fact that like, I'm in performance mode and I'm giving you guys like I'm in, you know, I'm like in my radio voice and then I'm watching back like a performance of myself in order to like, I don't know. It's like it's like experiencing myself for the first time secondhandedly because I'm not necessarily not thinking about what I'm saying, but I'm also not thinking about what what I'm saying or how I'm saying it as I'm saying it. And then, you know, sometimes I just really like even on my hardest days, sometimes I make myself laugh the very most, and I'm like, okay, there's another reason to keep doing it. Because for the most part, I'm like I don't wanna do this anymore, it costs me too much money and it's not. Like, I'm not a clut person. I'm just not a clout guy. I don't like doing stuff for clout, cause clout doesn't pay the bills and clout doesn't clout doesn't necessarily get you jobs, like unless it's like the right person's clout. Like, you get have clout from a million people, and if none of those million people are the well, a million is kind of where they drive line. Like if a million people are like, yeah, this is the shit, then it might get you a job. But like a million is probably the minimum number for that. Like if you don't have a million followers or you don't have a million views or you don't have a million of anything of just like clout like it doesn't pay bills. So I'm not a cloud person. I'm not just gonna do whatever off clout. What did I get off that on that clot rat for? I don't know, what was I saying? Oh, I'm going off book. I'm off. script. Anyway. what can I remember from things that I wrote down?, I don't know. I've been reading a lot. I've been, you know, doing doing the best that I can. I've been well, I've been reading. I've been reading children's books specifically because I'm finding information. Well, first of all, I picked up these children's books with the hope that I would be the owner of a small library and I'm not. I'm actually putting a lot of the books back into like society, which is fine. I'm just downsizing. It's actually helping me feel a lot better. Like my head is a lot clearer, my studio. My studio for for the first time in a long time was like a place that I can that I feel like I want to work. and it was the weirdest thing because I went through like a year of just like collecting whatever book I saw, like whether it was just like on a stoop, like I, you know, for whatever or out of the little free library or like just wherever, because books are everywhere in New York and that's probably my favorite thing hands down about New York is that like wherever you go there are books and they're free and you can pick them up. But I'm also very sensitive to energy, so as like an energy worker and a transmuter, it became congested to the point where it's like, okay, there is like a certain type of energy that's not that's foreign to me and as much cleansing and as much like, you know, whatever, as much, you know, in any kind of, you know, like spiritual work I was doing, there's an energy here that I'm not necessarily comfortable with. And I realized every time I picked up a book, I fell into like a certain type of world, you know, and it wasn't just like whether the book caught my attention from just like the cover or whatever, and then I decided to flip through it or whether it was like a book that I was stuck in, I was falling until like a certain energy or a certain world and that every book had a certain energy to it. And so I realized after a year of collecting hundreds of books that I had literally hundreds of energies, like floating through my space and it became like hectic and it became heavy to the point where I was like, like, I don't necessarily want to hold on to all these things. and so it's it's been really rejuvenating. I've been going through a time of just like not necessarily like I know I have a lot of stuff to do. but one of the stuff to do is is like going through all of the things that I know that I need to like let go of in order to feel better. And it has been helping me feel better. It has for the most part, I'm still doing a lot with like my energy recovery and the noise here has a lot to do with it. I'm now like I now have anxiety to the point where I have like a consistent nauseum. like every time I hear like any kind of motor, like I get sick and now it's it's actually getting worse the longer that I've stayed here with the noise, it's like I now have like an upset stomach all the time, headaches twitches. It's the it's the most fucked up thing ever. and I've also been learning more about because I'm, you know, still still really focused in my music and so frequencies and, you know, like I've always been like a huge believer and like layered frequencies for healing, like sound healing, beta thick alpha, and and the whatnot, but I finally caught onto a piece of information that made me realize how the noise outside has affected my brain chemistry and not just in the way that it's like it's annoying or it's a nuisance or it's harassment, which it is all of those things, according to the law, but in a sense of what's happening to my brain chemically, like the chemical changes that are happening in my brain, or the frequency changes that are happening in my brain are actually the things that are making me more upset than loss of sleep, or, you know, like a disruption or disorganization of my mind or my daily habits. The thing that's making me the most upset is what I'm realizing is it's changing my frequency, and I'm not talking about just my my aura I well, I am in a sense, but like the frequency, the frequency differences that that your brain your brain goes into different frequencies during, you know, waking state, alha state, better state, you know, and when you're sleeping, you're in um I well, it depends on the person actually, and it depends on the type of sleep that you're getting. Like most people sleep and like a data state from what I'm understanding and this is the state of like conscious dreaming. And this is this, I could be incorrect because honestly, I layer them anyway. And I finally I finally did it. I I did. I' I was working on a song and I realized that I achieved like perfect theta without actually even meaning to. And I think I did another one and that was like in perfect gamma without even like it was just mixed perfectly. that it I was also listening to like a gamatone and then I realized I was like, wait, is that the song or is it the tone? Because, you know, if the if the frequency that you're listening to is pure enough, it will actually distort the bass or the, you know, it will distort the entire sound of whatever you're listening to. So sometimes things can sound warped or like they're waving or like they're going through something because those tones are kind of like they're they're moving against each other or with each other just kind of depends. And so what what has been, well, I wanted to finish, well, yeah, I think I have at least one song now that's in theta, and I have at least one song that's in gamma, completely. and and I and I shocked myself because I was listening to the tones and I was like, wait, the wait a second. like, I'm feeling like double here. Is this this song that I'm listening to, that I'm checking back the mix, or is this the the frequencies? And I I turned off all the frequencies and sure enough, it was the song. It was like a pure I was like, wow. I'm like that's an achievement. I did it completely by accident and I wish I knew the formula that I used to do that.c some people are so mathematic about it. Like some people are so uh like, you know, some people do this to their music. A lot of people, especially inass music, that's why it is the way that it is, is you're going to a show to get these frequencies like zapped into your body at at full forces. and some people know how to do it on purpose. I did it on accident, so I'm like, if I can continue to achieve at this but I'm trying to figure out like the mathematical equation or like the actual sonic equation for making this happen, like every time, because going through my history ofass music, I will finish in a second, going through my history of bass music, I have always gravitated to the to these frequencies, to the frequencies that make me feel better after a certain amount of time listening to them or a certain amount of time being in in that frequency. So that's this is the music that has, I guess subconsciously kind of for the kind of artist that I am. But this is the reason why I'm upset about the noise. like the most upset about it, like not even on a legal level, on a social level, on a moral level, like, no, this is actually morally wrong, it is morally wrong on so many fucking levels. I'm like, why are you so like, why obviously I did this on purpose, like in my God complex, I'm like, oh, well, I can better the community as long as I make a point, like that environmentally, this is damaging people. It's giving people mental illness, that it or like if they're predisposed to mental illness, it's even worse, but it's it's also like causing mental illness and people that are otherwise healthy people, which is not a lot of people in New York City given. It's just not. It's not a healthy place. A lot of people are not healthy. But even in like moderately healthy humans, this noise disruption can cause like brain changes and chemistry changes, and this is the reason why I'm so upset is because when you are sleeping, if you are sleeping, your brain is in a certain level that is like in a healing state. In the first few minutes that you wake up, as I understand it. In the first few minutes after you wake up, your brain is in a state that it can like that you can manipulate your entire environment, that you can change things, that you can heal yourself. And so when I'm waking up in the first few minutes in the very first thing that I hear is a motorcycle that's ripping through my fucking brain, it's changing my brain frequency from a frequency that is like at the at the at a human level or at any kind of level, kind of the the thing that makes every human capable of being a genius, not the genius level able to heal yourself and the frequency that you're able to heal yourself is what you automatically wake up in. So when you' when this frequency is interrupted, it's intercepted in immediately into a negative thought pattern. And so you immediately, so what's happening, what's been happening to me over the last year with the motorcycle nuisance harassment problem or whatever the fuck I don't care what it's called on paper. I just want it to stop like I just want to live in peace. It's not like and kind of having like coming from a a background where I kind of tend to have like take responsibility for myself, like oh, it must be something that I'm doing and yes, I also have like a higher god complex or like an ego if you want to call it, that's like, oh no, I must have done this on purpose. And you know, like in order for the greater good, like in order to fulfill my purpose in some sort of way, it must be it must be part of my process to have this. That's also my ego like I'm a god. like, you know, that's just me, that's the generation. That's the generation that I come from. That's our mindset. Like nothing happens in this world without me in it, period. That's why rappers are rappers and that's why that's why models are models. We all have egos and it's really hard to kill the bitch. I've had at least ten ego dusts throughout my fucking like existence and it still comes back. It doesn't matter. You can have an ego death and be like a completely ego list for like what, six months tops? Eventually you're gonna have like the ego is is is imp important to survival, because I lost the word. I think implemental what was I gonna use? I was definitely a for syllable word. Either way, it is you need it. Like if you if you oh, you know, people might describe people, like being in like a in a sense of humility as like, oh, just completely without ego, but like at the end of the day, like, no, like your ego allows you to actually like compensate with the rest of the world, like, most people do not have no ego entirely, or at least for like, like a week after your acid tri or whatever, yeah, like, oh, had ego death and I completely. But like within I swear to God, like within six months time, like your ego has at least minimally like repaired itself. That's what an ego does, that's why you have it. You have it. It's a survival. It's it's a part of your consciousness that has to do with survival if you don't have your ego, like you're pretty much dead in the world, especially the way it is now. Anyway, this is that that's going to probably close up my spiel on that. Yeah, I'm upset because instead of like the first few moments of my waking moments being a healing, time, it is immediately going into disarray and chaos and anxiety. And so in in so I'm losing like, I don't I don't really care about oh, I mean, like I care about life in a sense, but I mean, like, and it in a mortal sense. I like, yes, it's taking years off of me. and I feel it like in the way that it's like, I I am slower to do regular things or like, whatever my rising thoughts, might be are completely just destroyed by this like what I've what I've come to perceive is like an evil force. It is evil in so many levels again this breaks down from like a higher consciousness to like a lower state of consciousness. The lower state of consciousness is saying that like these people are just idiots. They're idiots and they are not self aware of the fucking like pollution that they're doing on kind of middle sense, I'm like, oh, it's politics, it's like gentrification if these guys run around in circles, then people call up the fucking place, the place gets fucking more allocated funds to their fucking police officers, the police officers have fucking filling their quotas. It's all bureaucracy and paperwork and politics on that middle level and on the highest level it is like no, this is evil, it's pure evil because people are so grossed out by the fact that fucking New York is New York and also the wage and income and quality factor is that this guy is doing whatever the fuck he has to do brown. He's doing well, not that guy. that guy's that guy's a weak dick motherfucker. He has a small dick and everybody in the neighborhood knows it. He drives around and circle making people miserable. He also I'm it's the same dude. that same dude followed me to the Trader Joe's. It's the same dude, so I'm like, I like I know the sound of his bike from anything, so I definitely know when I'm at the Trader Joe's and then he's like all of a sudden traffic like, I'm like yo dude like why the fuck you following me to Trader Joe's like I live four miles away, which is not that far on the fucking motorcycle, but I came all the way over here on the subway for you to follow me on your bike. week, dick, bro.way, like, fuck this, fuck this, fuck that guy, fuck this neighborhood, fuck this place, fuck these politics, fuck these people. On a low frequency. Like on a low frequency, I'm like, fuck all this, like on a high frequency, I'm like, there's a purpose or whatever, it'll work, is temporary, blah, blah, blah. What the fuck was I saying? I don't know. I what the fuck was I ranting? I don't know. I that's that shiel, right? Trader Joe, hello Trader Joe. It's not safe. No, but you know, oh man, let's you say I, whatever. Let's just say oh, whatever. a lot. What else do we got? I don't know. I put on an album that came out today, yay, it's called all the rage. Actually, all that all that gripe about like, oh, it's an EP when I'm sure that the stores are gonna call it an album. I was like, I'm sure it's gonna be an album, so I just started calling it an album. like the release comes out and they're like, it's an EP, you congratulations. So I I thought I was putting out an album, that I was an EP, but it just missed the cutoff her album, because technically you can have a six track album and if it's over 30 minutes. If and you can have a six track album that's an EP like this, all the range is technically an EP at least according to Spotify's standards. And it's, I think it's like two and a half minutes under I think it's like 2 and a half minutes under, so it's an EP, but it's six tracks and I'm really excited about it. I kind of put a little bit more promotion into it than usual. I even had some press done, and that's great. because you can get pressed done. They're like,Yo, for $500. You'll be famous tomorrow. I'm like, that fucked up. That's a paycheck for some people. and that's not famous. also. They're charging people to be like spectacular. Well, they're charging they're like charging for people to be like popular, which is I think it's wrong, like ethically, you shouldn't be able to do that, like, oh, no, you're gonna get on all the playlists and whatever, you're gonna have like all like you should not be able to sell followers, like whether they're real people, which is slavery or they're robots, which is also slavery. Like you should not be able to sell fame that's making it like now I don't even trust like, okay, like this person got an award, but like, okay, because because the album was popular, because it was better than all the other ones. Or like, how do you know that you even heard all the albums because there are so many, and that like, okay, this person who put like zero dollars into promotion, how do you know that album wasn't better? because you didn't hear it? Because the person with a million dollar ad campaign won the fucking won the fucking award? Because you heard it because they put a million dollars into the fucking promotions. So it makes it makes everything the fact that everything is on a level system that's based on money is completely unfair. Like the all the industries are broken, it's not just music. Like, it's not just music. I'm like, holy shit, like you could spend like a year, an average year salary, which is what's the median income now. even with like no adjustment for inflation, like what, $50,000? Okay. So you could spend $50,000 on your your career so you'd have to you'd have to do that. That's even you're still competing with people who have a million dollars for doing nothing. That's insane. Anyway, I'm not bitter. What the fuck did I do earlier that I wasn't that literally the spirit that was like, don't be salty. I was like, oh, I was like,Yo, stop teaching models to fucking DJ, because I I happened on this girl that was like, yo, like I actually liked some of her music. I liked some of her music, but she wasn't doing much. And like everything was just fake. It was like super duper fake, but she was mad gorgeous and like more of these girls are popping up out of nowhere that are like not they're like models that are barely touching the decks and they're like a march. I'm like yo, dude, if that girl made this music like okay, maybe I should see her, but like, I'm like no somebody goes produce this because like she's moving badly in time to it and I realized something about being a producer is like yo if you spent enough time actually crafting this like this piece, you're not gonna move like badly to it like you're not going to move weird to music that you made because it's in you like it came from in your body. So like, I was like, I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at and I'm like, oh, I'm looking at propaganda. But then like, isn't that just kind of like discouraging people who don't have that type of body type or mindset, but it was funny because the algorithm was like don't be salty. It was like DJing is for everybody and if that's your passion and I'm like yeah, if that's your passion, but like, yo, when what where is the line between like propaganda and passion? Like, oh, I'm already a successful like, multimillionaire fashion model, but like I'm gonna be a DJ, like it washes out all the people who have actually like put in the work. It washes out all the people who have actually put in the work. Don't be salty. I was like fine, fine, but only because I like that algorithm. Only because I like that algorithm. I'm like fine, okay, we'll we'll be whatever. Whatever I've been reading. Oh, I read a book, let's see, let's see if I can remember the ones I already put back. I've been reading these uh this like children's book series on like famous people because I realized that they're written for children and I'm like, yo, dude, like somebody could read this whole series in the second grade and be smarter than me because I didn't know anything about the people that I'm reading about at all. And so they're like these little biographies. Well, I mean, they they're on a child's level. I don't know how long it would take a child to read, but they take me like an hour, hour and a half to read just like at a normal speed. And I read really fast. But I think the reason why from taking me so long to read them is because I actually take like a lot of I take a lot of like, I don't know, words or art to me, so if something is like especially musical, I might take it and be like that's a good song title. Like, if I think enough about this and what I know about this, like what kind of song is it? And, you know, just like little fun facts. Like first of all, I'm obsessed with George Lucas. I've never been a huge Star Wars person, just and I I realizing this. I've never been being on like Star Wars wicked. like, I've never been being on things that are like really, really big, but then I did grow up and kind of like a sheltered shut community where like most of the people like twilight, I wasn't hungerames, aylys Cyrus, well Hannah Montana at the time, okay? I just wasn't into those things, but most mostly because they're fans, actually, she just put out something that I kind of piqued my interest. It was in my fucking sl side bar. I was like, oh, no, what's this? I'm I might check it out. But I've been staying off the mainstream just cause I'm realizing like the reason that I'm seeing this is money and doesn't necessarily make it better or worse than anybody else. Because sometimes mainstream artists come out with crap and I think they do it on purpose, they're like,Yo, watch this. I can do whatever because so many millions of people love me, watch this. I'm like, damn. And then millions of people are like, yay, yes, yes, this. I'm like, the fuck? What did you do? And I'm pretty sure the mainstream artist is like consciously, even collectively like, you see what I'm saying? I can do whatever the fuck.c I did one thing cool, maybe like five things cool, like a long time ago, and literally don't have to do anything else. I just do this just to prove a poil. Like, I can shit on a track, literally. And millions of people will be like, I love you. I love you, please more of those. do it again. I'm like, oh, God, please, no. What the fuck? Millions of fans. Like once you have your fucking fan based unlock, like that's it. Like, you don't have to fucking people will be like, literally kissing at all of the ground that you touch for the rest of forever forever. That's it. I'm realizing that about fantom, so I'm like, yo, if you know what kitten mittens are. I'd still don't, but if you if you know kitten mittens, congrats, you're one of 12 people who actually like me. one of 12. I'm like 12 is enough. That's what Jesus had, right? might as well and Jesus technically have like 11 I don't know why I like that guy so much. I'm pretty much obsessed with him, too. I love Jesus. I'm like, Jesus is the god kind of I mean, like he's technically like three gods. anyway, why am I obsessed with uh George Lucas? First of all, he's one of the coolest people ever, Kate, like, okay, first he was a greaser, like a real greaser. like from the movie Grease, but like the actual thing before the movie Grease, cause if I if I'm not mistaken, he was like a greaser before they made Grease. That's crazy. Yeah, because Gre was like in the 70s, but it was about the 50s, right? I don't know. He was like an actual real life, like they just put Vaseline, I guess in their hair and wore like dirty shit and they were like, yeaheah, greaser. and they w and they fucking drove and they drove, what did they drive? I don't know, cars, old cars, and they would race them. I that was honestly I'm obsessed with this dude. I and now I kind of want to see Star Wars because I've never seen them. But honestly Star Wars is one of those things that, oh, that's what I was saying. God, yeah, well, yeah, I like grew up not liking Star Wars because all the people that liked it were mean. Like all those other things I named earlier in the episode. Like they're fans sucked, so I was like, I definitely cannot see myself getting into this. And so I never did, but now I'm well, as happy as I am being single. I save certain things for like just a case. I ever get in a relationship. I'm like Star Wars. I've never seen that. Like I saved certain things for like you know, like I wouldn't necessarily want to watch it by myself. I think I'd get geeked, though, now, now that I understand, like the kind of person that created Star Wars, I'm like, yo, dude, like he's the shit. Like, okay, first of all, okay, if I did the math, secondly, no, cause the first of all thing was like, he's a greaser. That's the coolest thing about George Lucas. Yeah. I mean, like I mean, like there was so many cool things. I had to take notes, I had to stop. I was like bending back pages, I was like, all this dude's the best. Okay. I was like,Yo, okay, whatever. Like, uh, oh, well, that was one of the last things I read. If I did the math right, this dude has like a 12 year old. He's older than my dad. My dad's pushing 80. I'm like, is he 80? He's like 80 with a 12 year old. That's incredible. That's I have so much respected admiration for that. Because it kind of proves my point that like if you're dude, you can just like keep on popping them out, popping them out. But he also like adopted kids, I think. Yeah, yeah. And he also like adopted kids. was at him? Yeah. Yo, I'm telling you there's so much practice into these little books. I'm like, okay, whatever, what else is cool. I don't know, he just seems he just seems like the dude just seems like the dude. I was likeYo. I I can't remember all the notes I took, but those those two things alone. I'm like, yeah, I earn my respect. I did write down a quote earlier that was like, what did he used to say? oh, do that again but better? I'm like, yeah, that sounds that sounds accurate. And then I liked the fact that like all his worlds within his worlds are like connected, so he'll leave Easter eggs within worlds of different Indiana Smith. He really liked the name Indiana because I guess he had a dog named Indiana, which was named after somebody else that was named Indiana. And I had no idea that Indiana Jones was like his brainchild or like close to it. I was like, whoa, this dudees are fucking legend, like a real like an actual, like this dude's a G for George Lucas. He's the best. I was like, yeah, dude. I could not put that book down. I was like sitting in cold bathtub water like, oh my God, this is such a pain turner. I gotta read about this dude until the very end of this book and I did. I would not put it down. I was like, George Lucas is the man, bro. like the man, I don't like like, yo, cool dude. I like that guy. I've never seen Star Wars. I have, I've seen like the beginning. It's like in the time, blah, fucking blah, blah, fucking talk. Yeah, and then I started writing my own movies, you know. It's not that any of them, you know, as whatever, you know, sometimes it's circumstance, sometimes sometimes I' just realize that I make excuses. Like I have no reason not to be as successful as any of these people that I'm reading about, because I'm finding personality traits about myself as I'm reading about them, like Albert Einstein Total Duis. He might have been like like functionally retarded. I'm pretty sure he was retarded, but also a genius. Like like, oh, okay, this is the coolest thing about Albert Einstein are we done inukas never, never. He's immortal, right? We'll see him at some point. He's so cool. He's so cool anyway. I was like, yeah, dude, this dude is cool. But there's that's the Alb Einstein, my man, okay, so like, slowly almost solely responsible for the invention of the Adamah. That's dope. On accident, though, because once he realized what had like once he realized that, okay, like, okay, I'm correct about this. For sure, I'm definitely correct about this, but like, yo okay, should we back up a little bit? First of all, he didn't say anything until he was like four. Didn't say anything, not a not a single word, his parents were like,o, something's wrong with him. Like even back in the day where it's like, uh don't know. Something's wrong with him. He's not saying anything. The doctors were like, he's perfectly fine.'s fine. And he didn't say anything his entire life until one day, apparently, he sat down to dinner with his parents and the soup was too hot, and that's what he said he's like the soup is too hot. Like, could you imagine, like having a kid that you're like 100% sure is retarded? Oops, nope, you can't say that. Okay, well, you could. Then so let's just shouldn't I just cancel you can't say that. Why, though? Like, okay, when I was growing up, you have to understand I come from a time where it was like you could just call that to somebody cause they were being dumb, but not dumb, right? But I mean like at a certain point, like, okay, technically Helen Keller was deaf dumb and blind, but like sometime and I'm assuming like between the 70s and 80s, it became a slang for like that's dumb. Like, don't do that because whatever you're doing is not right, which is like, okay if you're not right, then you're what? Retarded. Like, I'm sorry. I'm like some certain things are not going to be like, I'm, you know. I'm like early 2000s game or culture, that's gay, but I love gay. It's like nobody's being derogatory about that. I'm being derogatory about your behavior and I might even use it as like a positive you know what's what describing words or adjectives? I don't know. I'm going through. I'm going to processes realizing that like, okay, I'm at the age where certain information is gonna be offloaded. Certain like it's not coming back ever. Like, you like, I I know Spanish, but only if I have to speak it and it's not like, I'm not developing any other nothing else is like my brain is like, we don't need this, do we? I'm like, I don't know. Maybe I should hold on to that. No, no, we don't need this. I'm like, okay, well. there are certain things about me that are just not gonna change at this point. I'm not sorry, because honestly, weren't too offended at everything when, like, there're there are things that are offensive that nobody really is offended about. like, if you really found an offensive, it would not exist anymore, you know? Because when somebody becomes really passionate about something, and they change it. Which is why I'm taking my time. I like, youo, annihilation is imminent. Like this cannot be anymore. Like, you don't change my brain chemistry. Fuck that shit. my brain chemistry is perfect the way that it is. Like I'm almost sure that like the entire mental health industry will change based on ideals that are like blooming and other like in other what the fuck was I just saying exactly ideas that are already springing up in in small circles. like they'll, you know, be one day. Like that's just valid, like nothing's really wrong with you. something's wrong with the world. Like, why? Like, and what can we do to change that? It could be environmental completely. It could take somebody with like severe mental health issues, severe schizophrenia, severe bipolar disorder, severe fucking severe depression, severe anxiety and change their environmental factors or even just like change the fact that that like they're facing poverty, poverty is a mental illness and that's not what it's not looked at as such. It's looked at as a deficiency on the individual's part when it could be like and it could be a polethro of environmental factors. That'll change. It will in my lifetime. I know that it will. It may not be because of me because for the most part, I'm a pacifist. I really am. I'm a yoder, like, honestly, it has to be like visibly hurting someone else or hurting me painfully enough for me to be passionate about it to make it change. Like, I'm sorry, I'm not. I don't want I don't really want to be a leader, especially because like people are still like populating this planet. I don't necessarily I don't I don't wanna be like a a leader in anything because that is like that's too much power. Honestly, just let me play the music and then fuck off. And I will fuck off. Like if you think I talk too much or you find me annoying or you think I'm stupid like eventually I I disappear. That's it a self-reflective Go away, all right. I't have to be asked twice. I don't stay in places where I'm not welcome. So, New York it's been good. Are't not really. But somebody I thought okay, who else am I obsessed with? I love this new lady that I found. Her name is Gina something rather fucking amazing. I I love New York people because I love New York people. Like I really do. like it is well, it's hard to fucking there's a fucking oh, honestly, it could be simplified to this as like, okay, maybe this embraces like the new the New York feminine and what I really hate is the New York masculine, which is just toxic, just disgusting, like where I spinning on things, shut the fuck up, like, are you not self aware? Like it's it's certain level of and I'm not, I'm really not binary in the sense where it's like balanc, bro. like balance, like a little bit of everything is good and like half masculine, half feminine is like a good balance, non-binary embracing that. But like yo, dude, there's a certain rasculinity about the city that's the thing that makes it nasty. It was like, whoa. whoa. I'm like, that's nasty, but I was oh, okay, I'm in love with this person. Her name is like Gene or something rather. I'm still I still have like I no, I have no feet in the comedy pool cause like I realized I stopped performing comedy and I stopped writing it, and like all the like semi tragic possibility, like possibly hilarious situations that were happening to me when I was actively writing comedy just stopped. I was like good, I don't necessarily need to be in that right now. That's that has sailed and will probably later sink, but I don't want to be in there if like, okay, like you're funny, if like sad and bad shit happens to you all the time. I'm like, that's fucked up. I don't wanna be that guyc 50 years from now I could be that guy and like still not earn a penny more than I'm earning right now making music underground. So if it's if I had to choose between the two, I've already earned mastery in recording arts. 10,000 hours or more, like I don't necessarily like being a comic is like another ladder. It's another it's a thing. And honestly, when I stopped like, well, I mean, like I I took a break from tears of a clown because it became such a like passion project for me that I was like, oh, this is that I'm caring too much like I should stop. and still not finish and it's not it's not like, it never had a release date in mind, so it's not necessarily like what's it delayed? Yeah, it's not delayed, and it's not it's definitely not in hiatus, but like, I realized that I have a certain responsibility to my audience altogether. It like to do this show as well and so like this, there's been taking kind of a priority, knowing that like my hiatus has been longer than any other hiatus is, and that I owe it to like my homegrown audience and my weird coat following to like okay like I have to give you guys everything from fucking like November to now and just musically that's a lot but then I've also the writing has also accompanied it and so it would be a shame to just let that go entirely because I feel that like my actual, my actual fan base is here in this show, unfortunately, well, not unfortunately, because I've started to get like a sense of familiarity within the dance music scene, like, as a producer through this podcast as a medium, because when I started doing this podcast, like, it wasn't like people weren't generally like now people are doing like following my, what's it? format. Like people weren't really doing DJ mixes and like putting music on podcasts, like it just wasn't people weren't doing it. I was the only one doing it now everybody's doing it and it makes me want to do it less, but then also like I have to kind of show consistency with myself in order for me to feel like I'm still doing something. What was that rant about? I don't know. I'm obsessed with this lady name's Gina or something rather. She's super New York. What would she say? that I really liked? Oh, if you didn't know the rules before you got to New York, you you like if you came to New York and you're not having a good time, you probably didn't know the rules before you got here.rect. I didn't come here on purpose. This was my layover city. I came here by accident and I did not know the rules. Now I'm learning the rules and I'm like the rules are fucked up and rules are kind of meant to be broken if you're disturbing my peace, I will then disturb your peace. No, I will not. I do not believe an eye for an eye, and also I feel that you are dangerous people. I will then report you to the police and and make the proper documentation in order for it to stop. I'm a snitch. I don't give a fuck. Like if you're actually hurting me, like if you're changing my the way that I think and the way that I feel, like if you're making me sick inside of my own environment, like you deserve it. I'll give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I don't give any kind of fuck. And then that way, I am a feminist, cause it's like, yo, dude, like how long are you gonna sit and take somebody hurting you before you actually realize that like you're not the problem they are and in order for their behavior to stop, you have to actually like you have to prevent this by stepping up for yourself. It's kind of like a show and like, okay, like like at a certain point it is kind of like a game. Like how long are you going to let me do this to you before you just fucking like get up and fucking hit me back? And I'm like, I don't want to like, I don't want to fight, but at the same time, like, bro, like I've been getting my ass whipped by these idiots and so I'm like, okay, I have to actually, but I'm still not a fighter. I have to do it in a way that makes sense and so that the community can be improved when I move on. Like I don't necessarily want to put somebody in the same place that I am now because I really am not I don't and just improve it. Like I believe so much in doing that, like not just leaving no trace, but like improving the place from which you are situated when you leave so that when the next person comes through, they don't have to struggle through the same hardship. So in that way, leadership, sure, be

① Both Trump and the EU set their sights on Ukraine's mineral resources. (00:50)② China continues as an attractive investment destination: AmCham South China. (13:06 )③ Iran and Russia's FMs condemn the unilateral sanctions by the U.S. and the West. (24:17)④ Syria's interim president calls for unity and the rebuilding of the fractured nation. (34:00)⑤ The German economy contracted in the final quarter of 2024. (42:30)

Ever walk down the grocery store aisle and find yourself drawn to a beautifully curated lineup of products—like a collection of specialty salts, seasonal spice blends, or a limited-edition flavor series? There's something about seeing a set of related products that makes you want to collect them all. Now, imagine applying this concept to your farm business. In this episode, I'm diving into how "collections" can be a game-changer in your farm marketing strategy. Collections tap into buyer psychology, make your products feel more exclusive, and encourage repeat purchases. They also simplify your marketing—giving you built-in themes and easy ways to guide customers toward bigger purchases. So how do you create collections that actually work? And what kinds of products lend themselves to this strategy? That's exactly what we're exploring today. I'll share examples of successful collections in eCommerce, plus specific ways you can bundle farm-fresh products into enticing, must-have offers. Tune in to learn: ✅ Why collections make customers want to buy more ✅ The hidden psychology that makes them so effective ✅ How to identify which of your products could work as a collection ✅ The marketing strategies that make them irresistible If you're looking for a fresh way to increase sales, get more engagement, and make your farm products feel even more valuable—this is the episode for you! Hit play now and start reimagining your product lineup!

Sometimes life throws you a curve-ball you weren't expecting. How you respond can make all the difference. What if "everything is happening FOR you?" In this episode, I open up with Kate Weschler on the Root to Bloom podcast as I share my healing journey over the past 12 months, including the transformative insights and breakthroughs. We talk about the role of gratitude, choosing specific thoughts that would serve me, finding my true north again, and learning to "live in the land of fun." I hope this episode will help you re-imagine how to view your own obstacles  that life sends your way, and instead see them as a catalyst for potentially huge breakthroughs. Podcast Sponsor: This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2025. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Check out the Root to Bloom Podcast with Kate Weschler -- today's episode was originally recorded for the Root to Bloom podcast, and Kate graciously agreed to share the audio with me so i could showcase it on the My Digital Farmer podcast, too. I invite you to check out her podcast! Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important parts of your marketing system: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, writing great weekly email promotions, nurture emails, onboarding emails, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime.  

Ever driven 4.5 hours for answers? I did. In this episode, I share a personal story about driving all the way to Chicago to see a chiropractor from my past, Dr. Allan, because I knew he could help me. Within 10 minutes of our session, he confidently declared, “I know what this is, and it's something we can fix pretty easily.” Instantly, I felt relief and hope. Dr. Allan wasn't just a healer—he was a guide in my customer journey. He exuded authority, showed confidence, and gave me a clear success path. It was a game-changer. This story led me to reflect on your role as a guide in your customer journey. Are you showing up in the way they need? Are you acting like the trusted expert who confidently points the way forward? Inspired by Donald Miller's book Building a StoryBrand, I break down what it means to take on the role of the guide in your marketing and customer service. I share practical tips on: Showing authority and expertise in your niche Exuding confidence in your product or service Giving new customers a clear and simple “Start Here” path Offering the success path your customers are craving Tune in to discover how you can build trust, nurture loyalty, and create a customer journey that leads straight to success—for both you and your audience. Podcast Sponsor: This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2025. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Build Your Metrics Dashboard Workshop -- Join me inside of Farm Marketing School this month to learn about all the key  metrics you need to be tracking in your farm business for sales and marketing. Then set up your "dashboard" as a Google Sheet to track the key metrics to help you meet your revenue goals. Subscribe to Farm Marketing School this month for full access! Allen Chiropractic Orthopedics -- I share my testimony in today's episode. This doctor is the doctor I talk about!! Dr. Sean Allen is a thought leader, practitioner, and teacher in orthopedic chiropractry. I call him my personal Jesus. He has now healed me twice. He finds the root of the problem and FIXES it. If you live in the metro-Chicago area, and you have some kind of pain that other doctors can't figure out... I bet he can.  Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important parts of your marketing system: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, writing great weekly email promotions, nurture emails, onboarding emails, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime.  

Are you tired of scrambling to figure out what to promote next in your farm business? What if you had a clear plan that mapped out your marketing goals, revenue targets, and sales offers for the entire year—ready to execute? In this episode, I'm walking you through how to build a farm promotion calendar that keeps your sales on track, helps you create intentional marketing peaks, and gives you the flexibility to pivot when needed. Whether you're a planner by nature or someone who thrives on spontaneity, this tool will change the way you think about farm marketing—and I'll show you exactly how to create it. Don't miss this episode if you're ready to stop winging it and start winning with a strategic sales plan! Podcast Sponsor: This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2025. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Growing for Market Podcast Episode 103 -- click here to listen to the original interview of this episode that was aired on the Growing for Market Podcast on January 7, 2025. Building a Promotion Calendar Workshop -- not sure how to build a promo calendar for the year? No problem. I have an entire 30-day project inside of Farm Marketing School that teaches you how to do this, AND helps you GET IT DONE. Your promo calendar is really just a rough draft "road map" of the promos you want to run all year long, to make sure you hit your revenue goals (and other marketing goals). Subscribe to Farm Marketing School this month, and then choose the Promo Calendar Workshop project as your first project! It's a GREAT class! 30 Ways to Build an Offer -- Grab this free PDF download. It includes over 30 different offer "formulas" you typically see in retail industry. Use it to help you craft offer ideas for your promo calendar. Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important parts of your marketing system: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, writing great weekly email promotions, nurture emails, onboarding emails, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime.  

Laura, volunteer and friend of FMS, joins Jeff for a conversation as they discuss their perspectives on how they've learned to face challenges and live life to the fullest. Laura and Jeff end up breaking The Collage podcast recording length record at 2 hours and 16 minutes!  In this engaging conversation, Jeff and Laura discuss the transitions of life, particularly the journey of becoming an empty nester and the importance of embracing new seasons. They explore the significance of perspective in shaping our experiences, the power of choice in responding to life's challenges, and the necessity of community and grace in overcoming struggles. Laura shares her personal story of resilience and the importance of not feeling alone in difficult times, emphasizing the healing power of sharing one's story with others. She discusses the importance of community, understanding mental health, and the power of choice in navigating life's challenges. Jeff emphasizes the significance of seeing God through the actions of others and the need for genuine connection and shares personal stories that highlight the struggles of mental health and the grace required to support those in need. He also reflects on the metaphor of a compass in life, illustrating how it guides us back to the right path, regardless of how lost we may feel. Ultimately, this conversation with Laura and Jeff is a reminder that we have the power to transform our pain into purpose and that we are never truly alone in our struggles.

In dieser Folge dreht sich alles um Mobilität. Genauer gesagt um die Frage, wie wir die Mobilität in Deutschland und Zukunft gestalten, sodass wir weiterhin mobil sind, aber auch klimafreundlich von A nach B kommen. Und dafür habe ich mir Prof. Dr. Harry Wagner eingeladen, denn er ist Professor für Intermodale Mobilität und Künstliche Intelligenz an der Technischen Universität Ingolstadt und forscht zu genau diesen Themen. Wie die Mobilität der Zukunft seiner Meinung nach aussehen muss und welche Rolle Seilbahnen dabei spielen, das erfahrt ihr, wenn ihr dranbleibt! Mehr Infos zu FMS: https://www.future-mobility-solutions.com/en/ Prof. Dr. Harry Wagner: https://www.thi.de/personen/prof-dr-harry-wagner/

Looking for a simple way to generate buzz, get more customers in the door, and boost your farm sales? In this episode, I'm diving into the power of weekly and daily specials—a tried-and-true marketing strategy that works wonders for farm stores. Whether it's a one-day flash sale or a themed weekly deal, these specials can create excitement, drive foot traffic, and keep your customers coming back for more. But here's the thing: it's not just about slapping a discount on a product. The real magic happens when you design your offers with intention. How do you create specials that people can't resist? Where should you promote them? And how do you make them work for your specific farm business? In this episode, you'll discover: Why weekly or daily specials are a secret weapon for building loyalty and excitement. The key elements of a great offer that keeps people talking (and buying). How to promote your specials so they actually drive results. Simple ideas for farm-specific specials that work across seasons and products. If you're ready to learn how this strategy can help you move product, attract new customers, and build buzz around your farm, this episode is for you! Click play to find out how to turn simple specials into a powerhouse marketing tool for your business. Podcast Sponsor: This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2025. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Building a Promotion Calendar Workshop -- not sure how to build a promo calendar for the year? No problem. I have an entire 30-day project inside of Farm Marketing School that teaches you how to do this, AND helps you GET IT DONE. Your promo calendar is really just a rough draft "road map" of the promos you want to run all year long, to make sure you hit your revenue goals (and other marketing goals). Subscribe to Farm Marketing School this month, and then choose the Promo Calendar Workshop project as your first project! It's a GREAT class! Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important parts of your marketing system: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, writing great weekly email promotions, nurture emails, onboarding emails, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime.

These stocks are cheap and have top Zacks Ranks of Strong Buy or Buy. (0;15) - Finding Classic Value Stocks In The Beginning of 2025 (6:15) - Tracey's Top Stock Picks (30:30) - Episode Roundup: ALR, HSII, USNA, GM, FMS  

January 7, 2025 by Corinna Have you ever had an experience so profound it shifted how you think about connection and loyalty? In this episode, I'm sharing a deeply personal story from my son's new school—a “Signing Day” event that completely transformed how I view the power of customer loyalty. From the cheers of a crowd to a simple public commitment, every detail of this moment was orchestrated to make us feel special, valued, and part of something bigger. But here's the thing: the same principles that made this day unforgettable can be applied to your marketing as a farmer. What made this event so effective? How did it spark pride, build community, and inspire long-term loyalty? And how can you create similar moments for your customers? Tune in to uncover: A key marketing concept I felt in action that day. Why making your customers feel seen and celebrated is a game-changer. How to use simple strategies to foster loyalty, belonging, and pride in your farm business. This episode will make you rethink how you connect with your customers—and how small, intentional touches can elevate your brand in their eyes. Don't miss this one! Press play and get inspired to build deeper loyalty with your audience. Podcast Sponsor: This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2025. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important parts of your marketing system: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, writing great weekly email promotions, nurture emails, onboarding emails, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime.

Send us a textTalk'n Throws with Ashley Kowalewski- Current Strength and Conditioning Coach at LSU, has been S&C coaching jobs in the Big10 and PAC 12, worked with Jerry Clayton a University of Michigan, 2010-2014 pole vaulter and javelin thrower at Oklahoma under Brian Blutreich with a PR of 156'04, 2010 graduate of Liberty Christian HS, 2008 TAPPS 4A Texas State Champion in the pole vault. Member of Certified Strength and Conditioning Coaches Association, holds her Strength and Conditioning Coaches Certification.  She is also certified as a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist through National Strength and Conditioning Association. She holds her USAW level 1 as well as her FMS level 1 certification. Texas Track and Field AssociationInformative website for all things Texas Track and Field4Throws.comFamily owned business offering all quality implements at reasonable prices. Code Talkinthrows10Big Frog of ColleyvilleHandles all printing and embroidery. FiberSport DiscusWe are taking the guess work out of discus selection. It is not just about rim weight. NTX TimingNTX Timing a professional timing group that can handle any level of event.Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

--- Check out these offers from FMS! ---Gray Cook's Masterclass on Mobility and StabilityTake a deeper dive into Mobility and Stability!In the Mobility Course, Gray guides you with his insights into global movement patterns and screening to differentiate mobility limitations due to tissue quality from those caused by inappropriate tone.In the Stability Course, Gray explores stability problems and their solutions, while detailing the vital interplay between local tissue quality, muscle performance, and global movement patterns.Bundle and Save! https://www.functionalmovement.com/Store/248/movement_masterclass_bundle----------Symmio - Your Functional Health and Wellness PlatformExperience Symmio for yourself and get your FREE Wellness report today!https://www.symmio.com/free-wellness-assessment----------Episode Summary:In our Movement Podcast's Season 6 finale, we pulled highlights from our guests' real-world stories that showcase the uses of movement screening and wellness strategies to provide the best care for their clients and patients.Highlights:-

AI Motion Capture can be a game-changer for orthopedics. Dr. Adam Whitman of Medbridge discusses how we can benefit and what we have to be careful of when using AI Motion Capture. Everything has AI now, what does motion capture with AI mean? AI has been around since the internet started. As hardware improves so can the calculations the computers can do. Self-driving cars example - cows falling from abridge…what would you do vs what would a computer do? AI does really well in processing huge amounts of data rapidly and consistently. The physics problems in movement patterns allow for AI to be used for growth and improvement. The machine has to be fed. ROM is easy to capture and accurately measure. The computer is limited in cases like spinal movement. Theoretical AI Motion Capture concepts Look at the FMS - they are built to be read against functional norms.  It has been confirmed against many hundreds of thousands of instances. We are looking for the potential for injury. Think about scapular winging…it is like building a house on a concrete foundation vs building on a swamp…which one is built to last. Some algorithms are being fed based on info so they begin looking for biased outcomes. One AI model determining which patients should be prioritized from an insurance standpoint became racist because it was being fed biased information. The algorithmic process can remove the bias when it is fed comprehensive data. ChatGPT is now its own prompt engineer that allows you to ask average questions and get really good answers. I look forward to when we can feed the movement into the machine and let it run its analysis without our input. Think about re-captcha…computers are still bad at identifying objects in pictures.  Humans are still needed. Your movement analysis is your movement fingerprint. That can become a movement profile with each new recording. What does that look like for the Athletic Trainer? Emphasis on prevention of injury to the athlete as opposed to reaction-based interventions - reduce the likelihood of an ankle sprain or ACL tear by catching fault movement patterns before the injury occurs Contact Us: Dr. Adam Whitman - adam.whitman@medbridge.com Jeremy Jackson - @SportsMedicineBroadcast on IG

Ever wish you could sit in on a strategy session with a group of farmers and hear how they brainstorm marketing plans? In this week's episode, I'm giving you a rare behind-the-scenes look at one of my live Zoom call meetups inside the Farm Marketing School membership. These monthly meetups are where the magic happens—where farmers come together to problem-solve, strategize, and dream big about their businesses. This time, we're putting a farmer in the hot seat to help him figure out how to successfully launch his first-ever Strawberry U-Pick farm. If you've ever wondered what goes into creating a marketing plan for a U-Pick operation—or even if you just want to sharpen your own farm marketing skills—this episode is packed with insights you can't afford to miss. You'll get a peek into the questions we ask to help shape this farmer's vision, including: How to build buzz and get eyes on your brand before opening day. Creative ways to grow an email list fast—and why it matters. Ideas for crafting U-Pick packages and offers that attract more customers and increase spending. The importance of Google SEO and what topics to focus on in weekly emails. How to leverage value-added products and a product ladder to turn a single visit into repeat sales. Whether you're a seasoned farmer looking to refine your marketing game, or you're brand new to selling direct-to-consumer, this episode will spark new ideas for how to approach your own promotions, no matter what you grow or sell. And if you're curious about what it's like to be part of a community like Farm Marketing School—where farmers share real-world advice and cheer each other on—this episode is your invitation to experience it for yourself. Don't miss this candid conversation that could change how you think about your farm marketing strategy. Podcast Sponsor: This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important parts of your marketing system: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, writing great weekly email promotions, nurture emails, onboarding emails, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime.

As the year winds down, it's the perfect time to take stock and set yourself up for success in the year ahead. In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on the 10 essential housekeeping tasks I tackle every December to keep my farm marketing game strong. These aren't just mundane chores—they're strategic moves that help me reflect, refine, and refresh my business for the new season. Curious? I'll walk you through each of these tasks step by step. From evaluating my marketing efforts with a critical eye to organizing the chaos of my digital workspace, I've got a checklist designed to make January feel a whole lot less overwhelming. Wondering what's on my list? Here's a hint: it's all about laying a rock-solid foundation for next year's success—and a few of these tasks might just surprise you. I'll also share the mindset shifts that make these tasks more than just “to-dos” and turn them into opportunities to identify what's working, what needs tweaking, and where my energy should flow next. Whether it's about cleaning house or connecting with key people in my network, these tasks are my secret weapon for staying focused and intentional. Here's what you'll take away from this episode: Why carving out time to reflect on your marketing data is not optional. How to build a marketing calendar that works with your energy, not against it. The power of saying thank you—and how it can grow your network in unexpected ways. Don't let January catch you off guard. Instead, join me as I share my end-of-year process so you can start 2025 with clarity and confidence. Podcast Sponsor: This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Episode 191 Evaluating Your Year and Setting Goals: My Journaling Structure Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership for beginning and intermediate farmer entrepreneurs who need help building out their marketing systems. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will show you how to build some of the most important parts of your marketing system. There are classes on building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, writing great weekly email promotions, nurture emails, onboarding emails, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime.  

What does it take to run a wildly successful CSA renewal promotion? In this episode, I'm breaking down the results of my recent early bird campaign and sharing my biggest takeaways. With 80% of my members renewing and nearly $300,000 in revenue generated, this campaign was one for the books! But what made it work so well? Tune in as I reveal the strategies, insights, and lessons learned during this promotion, so you can apply them to your own CSA renewal campaigns. Whether you're looking for ways to spark excitement or wondering how to handle your own post-promotion debrief, this episode is packed with inspiration. What You'll Learn in This Episode: The irresistible offer that drove 80% of my CSA members to renew. How I created a sense of urgency that made this promotion impossible to ignore. The “event-like” energy I built around the campaign using contests, giveaways, and prizes. The surprising ways I kept members engaged and active in my Facebook group. Key principles for running a strong CSA renewal promotion—and what patterns to watch for. This episode is a follow-up to my earlier episode where I walked through the step-by-step process of creating an early bird campaign. If you missed that one, go back and listen for the full strategy breakdown! Listen here ==> Episode 283 CSA Early Renewal Promotions: My Process Whether you're planning your own CSA renewal promotion or looking to refine your existing strategy, this episode is packed with practical tips and inspiration to help you take it to the next level. Podcast Sponsor: This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Enroll in my course: Early Bird Campaigns that Convert -- my online course that teaches you the step-by-step process for how to get your own CSA Early Bird Promo ready to launch! I include a swipe file of my exact emails I used, as well as my social media posts/copy, and my daily checklist planner to keep me organized. Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important parts of your marketing system: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, writing great weekly email promotions, nurture emails, onboarding emails, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime. NOTE: FMS will  include my course Early Bird Campaigns that Convert, beginning January 5, 2025. Subscribe and Review in Apple Podcast I'd love for you to subscribe to my podcast! I don't want you to miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts! Now if you're feeling extra loving, I would be really grateful if you left me a review over on Apple Podcast, too. Those reviews help other people find my podcast and they're also fun for me to go in and read. Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you! My hope is to feature guests periodically on the show. If you know someone who is innovating in the area of marketing as a farmer, please send me an email at mydigitalfarmers@gmail.com.  

Unlock the secrets to transforming your personal training career and revolutionizing how you assess athletes with our latest episode, where we promise you'll gain the tools to become a standout trainer. Discover why traditional assessment methods might be holding you back and how a personalized, goal-oriented approach could redefine your success. We share real-life challenges and triumphs with Emma and Chuck, highlighting how Show Up Fitness equips trainers with the confidence to tackle client assessments and craft effective programs for wrestlers. Learn how mastering people skills and adaptability can create exceptional client experiences, and why incorporating soft tissue mobilization in your practice can elevate your service to new heights.Get ready to explore the tailored world of strength and conditioning designed specifically for wrestlers. We discuss the essential components of crafting a program that focuses on rotational strength, core stability, and metabolic conditioning, with exercises that cater to the unique demands of wrestling. We'll also highlight the importance of collaboration with coaches and therapists to offer comprehensive athlete support. And for those aiming to excel, we outline why obtaining a soft tissue certification could be your golden ticket to success in top fitness centers like Equinox. With insights on continuous learning and the importance of industry networking, this episode is a must-listen for trainers aspiring to become elite in their field.Want to ask us a question? Email email info@showupfitness.com with the subject line PODCAST QUESTION to get your question answered live on the show! Our Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/showupfitnessinternship/?hl=enTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@showupfitnessinternshipWebsite: https://www.showupfitness.com/Become a Personal Trainer Book (Amazon): https://www.amazon.com/How-Become-Personal-Trainer-Successful/dp/B08WS992F8Show Up Fitness Internship & CPT: https://online.showupfitness.com/pages/online-show-up?utm_term=show%20up%20fitnessNASM study guide: ...

Ever feel like you don't have enough time to create a great marketing campaign? What if I told you it's possible to throw together a full week's worth of promo content in just ONE hour? That's exactly what happened to me yesterday. In this episode, I'm sharing how I turned a simple promo post for my Fish Holiday Sampler Boxes into a full-blown 7-day marketing campaign. All it took was a little inspiration, some quick thinking, and leveraging the content I already had in my back pocket. You'll hear the behind-the-scenes of how I pulled from existing resources like customer photos, testimonials, and even a PDF guide I created last year. I'll also walk you through the key elements of my process—from targeting the right audience to scheduling posts efficiently—and show you how you can rinse and repeat this strategy for your own farm promotions. If you've ever wondered: How to repurpose your old marketing assets to save time What makes a marketing promo truly engaging Or how to document your process so you can repeat it next year... ...this episode is for you. Plus, I'll share some quick tips for turning last-minute inspiration into a content machine that works for you. Whether you're selling fish boxes, CSA shares, or holiday bundles, this framework will help you simplify and scale your efforts. Ready to create smarter, faster marketing promos? Tune in now! Podcast Sponsor: This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important parts of your marketing system: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, writing great weekly email promotions, nurture emails, onboarding emails, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime.

Are you struggling to identify and prioritize your best customers? Ever felt like you're just throwing spaghetti at the wall, hoping for a sale to stick? What if there were a proven framework that could help you qualify leads more effectively, saving you time and energy? In this episode, we're diving into the B.A.N.T. formula—Budget, Authority, Need, and Timeline—a powerful tool that top sales professionals use to zero in on their ideal customers. But how does this framework apply to selling directly to consumers, especially when they're deciding whether to commit to a CSA membership or buy bulk meat from a local farm? And what practical steps can you take to use B.A.N.T. in your day-to-day sales conversations? Tune in to discover: Why "Budget" isn't just about numbers: How do you uncover what a customer is really willing to spend without making things awkward? The art of finding the true decision-maker: Who holds the purchasing power in a family or household, and why does it matter for your pitch? How to uncover your customer's "Need" without sounding pushy: What key questions reveal if your product truly solves their problem? Why "Timeline" can make or break the sale: What's the best way to gauge when your prospect is ready to buy, and what should you do if they're not? Through real-world examples—like working with a customer who's considering buying a side of beef or thinking about a CSA membership—this episode will help you see how B.A.N.T. can be applied practically to your farm's sales. Whether you're a seasoned seller or just getting started, you'll walk away with strategies you can implement right away. Curious about how to use B.A.N.T. to qualify leads more effectively? Listen in, and let's start turning your prospects into committed customers with a smart, targeted approach. Podcast Sponsor: This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important parts of your marketing system: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, writing great weekly email promotions, nurture emails, onboarding emails, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime.  

Trans synth rock duo The FMs was conceptualized and created by longtime friends Matte Namer (she/they) and Frankie Rex (he/they). After releasing one album and recording parts for another, Rex suddenly died. Namer has dusted off Rex' vocal tracks for two new albums, and has their sights set on the future of The FMs. - LINKS Hear the full interview with Matte Namer Christopher Beale The FMs  

In this episode of the Braun Performance & Rehab Podcast, Dan is joined by Jeff Buxton to discuss his latest research on quadrupedal movement in athletes, palm cooling research on sprint performance, nutrition research in athletes looking at carbohydrate vs ketogenic approaches and impact on performance, and more! Dr. Jeff Buxton is a professor at Grove City College in Western PA. In addition to his DSc in Human and Sport Performance, Jeff holds many other certifications, including FMS, Y-Balance, and Animal Flow. He has coached college tennis for six years, and has over ten years of experience as a trainer and fitness coach in the private sector. He loves the outdoors, calisthenics exercise, and maximizing human performance and potential! For more on Dr. Buxton and his work, you can find his Grove City College bio here: https://www.gcc.edu/Home/Academics/Faculty-Directory/Faculty-Detail/jeffrey-buxton or his research gate here: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Jeffrey-Buxton-3  *SEASON 5 of the Braun Performance & Rehab Podcast is brought to you by Isophit. For more on Isophit, please check out isophit.com and @isophit -BE SURE to use coupon code BraunPR25% to save 25% on your Isophit order! **Season 5 of the Braun Performance & Rehab Podcast is also brought to you by Oro Muscles. For more on Oro, please check out www.oromuscles.com Episode Affiliates: MoboBoard: BRAWNBODY10 saves 10% at checkout!AliRx: DBraunRx = 20% off at checkout! https://alirx.health/MedBridge: https://www.medbridgeeducation.com/brawn-body-training or Coupon Code "BRAWN" for 40% off your annual subscription! CTM Band: https://ctm.band/collections/ctm-band coupon code "BRAWN10" = 10% off! Ice shaker affiliate link: https://www.iceshaker.com?sca_ref=1520881.zOJLysQzKeMake sure you SHARE this episode with a friend who could benefit from the information we shared! Check out everything Dan is up to by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/braun_prLiked this episode? Leave a 5-star review on your favorite podcast platform --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/daniel-braun/support

Ever feel like your farm business goals are taking too long to materialize? In this episode, we explore the often-overlooked value of "waiting" in business and why those seemingly stagnant moments are vital for growth. Drawing from my own journey through a long waiting period, I unpack the hidden benefits that emerge when we embrace the "in-between" times. Whether you're waiting to go full-time, reach a new revenue milestone, or snag that big wholesale gig, there's a lot happening beneath the surface—and it's all happening for you. In this episode, we discuss: Why waiting is a universal part of life—and business How to find progress even when it feels like nothing is moving What lessons might be waiting for you in this season Ways to harness this time to rest, innovate, and build resilience The art of letting go of "how" and "when" your goals should happen ✨ Call to Action: Take a moment to journal through these reflection questions, and discover what you can learn from your current season of waiting. FIND THE JOURNALING QUESTION PDF HERE (link on Canva) Podcast Sponsor: This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe I mention giving you some journaling prompts to help you work through this episode. You can grab those here. You'll need a Canva account to access it. Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important parts of your marketing system: building a promotion calendar, building your website home page, writing your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, composing great weekly email promotions, onboarding emails, and building compelling offers. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Start with my marketing crash course or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime.

It's almost here…the 2024 holiday shopping season. I've always considered this to be one of the best times to get yourself into the hobby, get someone else into the hobby, or stock up on spare parts and accessories for the coming year. In this episode of The RC Newb Podcast, I recap a few new models from Vanquish, Axial, Carisma, and FMS while also sharing some of the best Pre-Black Friday R/C deals of 2024. Show Notes: Vanquish has released a kit version of its H10 Optic trail buggy (and there's a twist). Axial released several updated models to end 2024: SCX24 Lexus GX 470, SCX24 Base Camp, SCX10 III Base Camp (Updated), and UTB18 Capra 4WS. Upgrade your SCX24 or SCX10 with various performance and scale accessories. Carisma has released a Special Edition of its M48S Audi Sport Quattro with 5-spoke wheels and new tires for improved scale authenticity and off-road performance. Classic off-road and overland fans rejoice; FMS has officially released the FCX10 Toyota LC80 1/10-scale trail rig. Fair RC is also offering this model at the same price for a limited time. Snag some deals as we head into the 2024 holiday shopping season. Specific deals worth checking out: Axial SCX24 2021 Ford Bronco - $79.99 (through 11/20/24) FMS FCX24M Land Rover Camel Trophy Edition Lineup - $99.99 each (through 11/20/24) Axial SCX6 Trail Honcho - $849.99 (through 11/20/24) Redcat Ascent-18 - $95.99 (through 12/2/24) Bambu Lab 2024 Black Friday Sale: Save on select 3D printers and accessories (through 12/3/24) Save on R/C upgrades with these discount codes: Save $5 on accessories from fmshobby.com with coupon codeRCNEWB Save 5% at injora.com with one-time-use coupon SMALLSCALERC5 Save 5% at rcawd.com with coupon code RCNEWB5

In this episode I'm chatting to Michaella Mazzoni, a recovered FMS patient and award winning registered BANT Nutritionist.  (As seen in Good Housekeeping, Women's Health, Glamour, BBC Good Food and more). Michaella has sat at both sides of the appointment table, first as a patient and now as a healthcare practitioner. She has endometriosis and PCOS, two common hormone conditions that 1 in 10 women have in the UK and has found that how she eats has a massive, positive impact on her hormonal health. During the episode we talk about how PCOS can affect health as we get older and what can be done about it. We also have a wider conversation about hormone health and how we can empower ourselves to improve how we feel through our lifestyle choices. Michaella is brimming with knowledge and is so experienced. I hope you get lots out of our chat whether you have PCOS or are simply struggling with your hormones.

Have you filed your CTA report yet? (Do you even know what that means?) This is a fairly "new" (and unknown) legal requirement and I'm discovering that a lot of farm business owners have no idea about it.  As a business, you may have to file a report, and you have until December 31, 2024, to do so (or face some big fines). In this episode, I break down the Corporate Transparency Act and its implications for business owners, especially small farms. With insights from my lawyer Richard Chamberlain, we dive into the federal reporting requirements designed to identify your beneficial owners and prevent money laundering and fraud. Learn what your business needs to do to comply and avoid hefty penalties. What critical information must you report to the government by the fast-approaching deadline? Who exactly qualifies as a "beneficial owner," and why does it matter? The surprising exemptions to the Corporate Transparency Act—could your business be off the hook? How you could face daily fines or even jail time for missing a simple filing. Can you file on your own, or is a lawyer necessary to navigate this new law? Tune in to find out how this law impacts your business and the steps you need to take before December 31, 2024! Your homework is to TAKE CARE OF THIS by the end of the year! It only takes 10 minutes. Do it this week! Meet my Lawyer: Richard Chamberlain. Richard Chamberlain is the founder and managing attorney of Legacy Law Group in Perrysburg, Ohio. He is admitted to practice law in both Ohio and Michigan. He earned his undergraduate degree in Economics from Tulane University in New Orleans, LA in 1989 and his law degree from Florida State University in Tallahassee, FL in 1992. After working at different law firms in Florida, North Carolina and Ohio, Richard founded the Legacy Law Group in 2007 and focuses primarily on serving clients in estate planning, legacy planning, asset protection and estate administration matters. Richard's first book, Protecting your Family's Future – All about Wills, Trusts & Probate, was published in September of 2020. Richard also hosts a podcast, Protecting Your Family's Future, which is available on all major podcast platforms. Richard and his wife Kelly have been married for 30 years and they have 4 daughters and 1 granddaughter. They enjoy spending time together going to the lake, boating, hanging out with their dogs, watching movies, and traveling.   To learn more about Richard Chamberlain's law firm:  www.PlansThatWork.net   To get Richard's free ebook PDF about estate planning, wills, and probate to help you navigate this topic for your farm: https://plansthatwork.net/ep-book   Richard's podcast, Protecting Your Family's Future, is available on all major podcast platforms.   Podcast Sponsor: This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Financial Crimes Enforcement Network (FinCEN): www.Fincen.gov/boi FAQs on Beneficial Owners - https://fincen.gov/boi-faqs The Small Entity Compliance Guide: https://fincen.gov/boi/small-entity-compliance-guide Create a FinCEN ID - https://fincenid.fincen.gov/landing Where to file your BOI report - https://boiefiling.fincen.gov/ Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important parts of your marketing system: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, writing great weekly email promotions, nurture emails, onboarding emails, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime.

Take a deeper dive into Mobility and Stability!In the Mobility Course, Gray guides you with his insights into global movement patterns and screening to differentiate mobility limitations due to tissue quality from those caused by inappropriate tone. In the Stability Course, Gray explores stability problems and their solutions, while detailing the vital interplay between local tissue quality, muscle performance, and global movement patterns. Bundle and Save! https://www.functionalmovement.com/Store/248/movement_masterclass_bundleExperience Symmio for yourself and get your FREE Wellness report today!https://www.symmio.com/free-wellness-assessment-----Episode SummaryWelcome to the Movement Podcast, where we explore optimizing the human body. Today's guest is Darcy Norman, a key figure in the FMS family. He shares his professional journey, starting from Athletes' Performance to his experiences in professional cycling, working with Bayern Munich, and the US Men's National Team, highlighting the importance of data and innovative training methods.Highlights -

November 6, 2024 by Corinna Do you know how much each lead is worth to your farm business? In this episode, we dive deep into the concept of Earnings Per Lead (EPL) and how it can transform the way you approach marketing for your farm. I'll explain exactly what EPL is, how to calculate it for both paid and organic campaigns, and why this metric is critical to understanding the value of each lead. By tracking EPL, you'll learn how to make data-driven decisions to boost your farm's revenue, whether you're running a CSA, selling farm products, or hosting events.  Listen in to discover: Why EPL is more than just a number—it's a window into the value of your marketing efforts. How to calculate EPL even if you're not spending a penny on ads. The key difference between EPL and CPL (Cost Per Lead) and why both metrics matter for profitability. What to do with this EPL statistic once you have it Podcast Sponsor: This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important parts of your marketing system. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. Projects include: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, writing great weekly email promotions, nurture emails, onboarding emails, and practicing different types of offers. For the month of November, we are doing a 4-week live book study of "Building a Storybrand" by Donald Miller to help you write your farm's brandscript! And in January, I'll be releasing my "Farm Business Metrics" project to help you track the 5 most important farm metrics for your marketing and sales. Each project is designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder in each project to help you jumpstart your work. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at www.mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime.  

Take a deeper dive into Mobility and Stability!In the Mobility Course, Gray guides you with his insights into global movement patterns and screening to differentiate mobility limitations due to tissue quality from those caused by inappropriate tone.In the Stability Course, Gray explores stability problems and their solutions, while detailing the vital interplay between local tissue quality, muscle performance, and global movement patterns.Bundle and Save! https://www.functionalmovement.com/Store/248/movement_masterclass_bundleSymmioExperience Symmio for yourself and get your FREE Wellness report today!https://www.symmio.com/free-wellness-assessment-----------Episode SummaryGuest Introduction and Background: Lisa Chase, a physical therapist with over 20 years of experience, discusses her career trajectory from working with the Women's Tennis Association (WTA) to establishing her own cash-based practice in St. Petersburg, Florida.Transition to Private Practice: Lisa transitioned from professional sports to private practice to maintain the quality of care she provided to athletes, emphasizing a holistic approach that incorporates overall health, not just injury treatment.Importance of Cash-Based Practice: Lisa advocates for cash-based practices to avoid the limitations imposed by insurance companies, allowing therapists to provide comprehensive care without restrictions.Focus on Holistic Health: Her practice incorporates technologies like heart rate variability tests and body composition analysis to address patients' overall health, emphasizing the importance of sleep, stress management, and balanced lifestyles in achieving optimal health outcomes.Mentorship and Education: Lisa highlights the importance of continuous education and mentorship for therapists, using foundational tools and systems like the SFMA and FMS to provide efficient and effective patient care.-----------More about Back 2 Normal Physical Therapy and Lisa Chase Back 2 Normal Physical Therapy was founded by Lisa Chase in 1998. Lisa is an internationally recognized physical therapist, educator, lecturer, and published author, with a specialty in rehabilitation, performance, and wellness. She is a compassionate healer with a wealth of knowledge obtained through 30+ years of orthopedic manual physical therapy, sports injury management and total body wellness. She uses a holistic, whole-body approach by applying cutting edge technology, osteopathic manual therapy, and functional integration to restore joint biomechanics, soft tissue mobility and movement patterns to speed healing results.Lisa works with world-class athletes, professional sport teams, coaches, medical experts and fitness specialists around the world to help prevent injuries, decrease recovery time, optimize healing, and elevate performance. Lisa served as the Director of Sport Sciences & Medicine for the WTA Tour (professional women's tennis tour), covering national and international tennis events, including the Australian Open, Wimbledon, French Open, and U.S. Open. During the 2004 Olympics in Athens Greece, Lisa served as the Primary Health Care Provider for the International Tennis Federation. Lisa continues to provide her unique standard of care to athletes aFunctional Movement Systems YouTube Facebook Instagram X (Twitter) Subscribe to the FMS Newsletter

Are you creating value-added products and selling them in your farm business? After hearing this episode, you may decide to get started! "Value-added" refers to any agricultural products that have been processed or enhanced in a way that increases their market value. This could involve transforming raw farm products into something more convenient, shelf-stable, or unique, thus making them more appealing to customers. For example, turning fresh vegetables into pickles, making jams from fruit, or creating bone broth from animal by-products are all considered value-added because they offer more convenience, flavor, or functionality compared to their raw form. These products often allow farmers to increase their profit margins and diversify their income streams. In this episode, Kendall Ballantine from Central Park Farms dives into the world of value-added products and how they transformed her direct-to-consumer farm business into a thriving operation. Discover how these simple innovations can create new revenue streams, support business growth, and help farms stay afloat during the off-season. Tune in to learn: How Kendall turned chicken bones into bone broth, chicken pot pie, and over 40 other freezer meals for her online store. Where to start with value-added products. How to come up with value added product ideas. Creative marketing tips to entice buyers to buy your value added products. Common mistakes farmers make when they first start out with value-added. How to price your value added so you remain profitable. This conversation is packed with actionable insights to inspire your own farm business! Today's Guest: Meet Kendall Ballantine. Kendall is a proud farmer and the business owner behind Central Park Farms in Langley, BC Canada. She grew the annual revenue of her small scale farm-to-table business well into the six figures, all through the power of digital marketing and without spending a dime on ads. After many failures, lots of learning, and a heck of a lot of successes, she is excited to share what she knows to help other farmers reach their ideal customers and grow their businesses online. Follow Kendall's marketing tips at www.instagram.com/marketingforfarmers Her website: www.onlinemarketingforfarmers.com Workshop: Increasing Revenue with Value Added Products Workhorse Collective, Kendall's Coaching Program Podcast Sponsor: This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important parts of your marketing system: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, writing great weekly email promotions, nurture emails, onboarding emails, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime. Subscribe and Review in Apple Podcast I'd love for you to subscribe to my podcast! I don't want you to miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts!

With the holidays coming, are you preparing any farm promotions to finish Q4 strong? If not, this episode is for you. I've invited my friend Christina Marbury (the marketing director of Taste the Local Difference -- a marketing agency for farmers) to share her expertise in building holiday promotions that sell. Christina has the advantage of working with hundreds of farms across the Midwest on their marketing strategy, and she has seen the types of offers that work well for the Thanksgiving/Christmas seasons. Your consumer is "trained" to buy this time of year. Between gift giving and the big three holiday feasts (Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years), there is ample opportunity for farms to pitch their products. In this episode, Christina will share what types of products and offers work well for this time of year. She also gives tips on how to set up your online store so that more people will buy those offers. AND, we talk through some marketing pointers so that your customers find out about those great offers living on your e-commerce platform. My challenge for you is to listen to the episode with your key decision makers and then brainstorm a holiday offer (or two!) that you will pitch this season. Let us know how it goes! Who is Christina Marbury? Marketing Director at Taste the Local Difference At Taste the Local Difference, Christina and her team support farms and other local food businesses to reach their goals with specialized marketing services designed just for those businesses. From website design and e-commerce system setup to graphic design to strategies and implementation for social media, email marketing and search engine optimization, TLD aims to make marketing work efficiently and effectively. Christina fell in love with local food while attending the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor and has since spent her career working with and supporting local food businesses of all types. From farm work to bakeries, retail, and food service - she's been in the thick of it, which brings an understanding of these businesses to her work in marketing. When Christina isn't working, you can find her in her garden, boiling maple syrup, baking up a storm, and soaking in the incredible waters and landscapes near her home in Leelanau County, Michigan.   Podcast Sponsor: This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Download the Guide we mention in this episode: E-Commerce Optimization for Farms here. It's an overview of the key elements of this episode, put together by Christina for you! Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important parts of your marketing system: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, writing great weekly email promotions, nurture emails, onboarding emails, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime. Early Bird Campaigns that Convert --  In this week's episode, I mentioned that I am currently in my final week of the CSA this season. In fact, I'm in the middle of my "early renewal promotion" to get my CSA members to sign up again. IF you want to learn my system for how I do this every year, I offer my step by step online course to help you get it done. This course will teach you how to build a compelling offer that gets your current members to decide to renew during your promo campaign. I show you the emails to write, the posts to create, and the ENERGY you need to generate in the week before you launch. Find my marketing Facebook group for CSA farmers!You'll find my video trainings for the Early Bird Challenge inside here for a few more days. Follow me on Instagram for a daily IG story tip on marketing! @mydigitalfarmer Subscribe and Review in Apple Podcast I'd love for you to subscribe to my podcast! I don't want you to miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts!

          Joe holds an undergraduate degree in Exercise Science. While pursuing his degree, he was named Male Athlete of the Year and a member of the Sports Hall of Fame because of his contributions to the university's baseball team. During his college career, Joe led the nation in strike-outs. He is certified in FMS, TPI Level 1 and Level 2, and as an ACE Certified Personal Trainer. He has coached high school and collegiate baseball and has both coached and developed a large number of travel baseball teams. Joe has also worked as a collegiate baseball recruiter and motivational speaker. Joe is the owner and proprietor of the Perform Every Day training and fitness center in Champaign, Illinois. At his training facility, he mentors other trainers and works with a wide range of clients, including professional athletes in the MLB, NFL, PGA and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and numerous NCAA athletes in a variety of sports. Joe also runs strength, conditioning, speed, agility and recovery camps for high school athletes in most sports in Chicago and Central Illinois. Joe has had wide-ranging success helping high school students through the recruiting process to land scholarships at Division I schools.   Links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/perform_every_day/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joe-yager-4351316/ Twitter/X: https://x.com/yager20?lang=en

Are you a CSA farmer that has to get their members to "renew" every year and it always feels like a STRUGGLE? I've got you, my friend, because in this episode, I share my process for setting up my CSA early sign "renewal" promotion every fall in the final week of my CSA. I give them only 7 days to make up their minds. I've used the same sales system for the last 7 years, and I consistently get 75-85% of them to renew.  Here is an overview of the steps that I walk through in more detail in the episode. Use this as your checklist for running your own campaign: Set the three key dates. Review any changes you might want to make to next year's products/sites/fulfillment. Confirm with vendors and site hosts. Build your irresistible offer. Set up your online store/POS -- the tech! Build the content strategy map. Map out the key messaging points on a calendar, day by day. Write the email onboarding sequence. Build social media post graphics. Write the email marketing sequence. Schedule the emails and social posts. Build the "master checklist". Test the funnel on 1-2 customers who are let in early to find any bugs. This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important marketing elements in your farm business like: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime. Join my CSA Academy Library -- this is my digital cooking resource library that I provide for my CSA members to help them learn how to become a better home chef and cook the CSA way. It includes a Beginner's Guide to CSA mini-course, Vegetable University (A to Z video tutorials for every veggie); Canning Club (canning videos); Exit Strategy videos; Instant Pot tutorial, and my Recipes and Resources pages (with weekly CSA box recipes and unboxing videos). Farmers can subscribe for a monthly fee to have access to these resources to help them support their own CSA members. Early Bird Campaigns that Convert -- In this episode, I mentioned how I would be building my CSA Early Bird Renewal Promo campaign this month. IF you want to learn my system for how I do this every year, I offer my step by step online course to help you get it done. This course will teach you how to build a compelling offer that gets your current members to decide to renew during your promo campaign. I show you the emails to write, the posts to create, and the ENERGY you need to generate in the week before you launch. Find my marketing Facebook group for CSA farmers! You'll find my video trainings for the Early Bird Challenge inside here for a few more days. Follow me on Instagram for a daily IG story tip on marketing! @mydigitalfarmer

In this episode, we dive into the powerful psychology of consistency and how small commitments can lead to bigger, lasting customer actions. Inspired by Robert Cialdini's principle of consistency from his book Influence, we explore how getting your customers to take small, meaningful steps—like participating in social media posts or attending a farm event—can prime them for bigger purchases down the line. We'll also discuss how this principle helps customers claim an identity and align their values with your farm, creating a loyal, committed base. Tune in to learn how to leverage this strategy to boost customer engagement and drive sales! This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important marketing elements in your farm business like: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime. Influence by Robert Cialdini - I reference this best-seller in the show. It teaches the psychology of sales. This is not an affiliate link. Join my CSA Academy Library -- this is my digital cooking resource library that I provide for my CSA members to help them learn how to become a better home chef and cook the CSA way. It includes a Beginner's Guide to CSA mini-course, Vegetable University (A to Z video tutorials for every veggie); Canning Club (canning videos); Exit Strategy videos; Instant Pot tutorial, and my Recipes and Resources pages (with weekly CSA box recipes and unboxing videos). Farmers can subscribe for a monthly fee to have access to these resources to help them support their own CSA members. Early Bird Campaigns that Convert -- In this episode, I mentioned how I would be building my CSA Early Bird Renewal Promo campaign this month. IF you want to learn my system for how I do this every year, I offer my step by step online course to help you get it done. This course will teach you how to build a compelling offer that gets your current members to decide to renew during your promo campaign. I show you the emails to write, the posts to create, and the ENERGY you need to generate in the week before you launch. Episode 119 How My "CSA Giveaway Challenge" Experiment Built Some Major Brand Identity - listen to this challenge to get some ideas for questions you can use in a Daily Challenge, designed to build commitment! Find my marketing Facebook group for CSA farmers! Follow me on Instagram for a daily IG story tip on marketing! @mydigitalfarmer

Fixed Price discounts. You've seen them. "Save $5 when you spend $25!!" Percentage off discounts. You've seen those too: "Get 20% off when you spend $25 or more!" But which one is more effective? If you were going to build a coupon code in your online store, or offer a promotion at your farm store -- which one will lead to more sales? Well... it depends. As it turns out, there are best practices surrounding the use of the fixed price v. the percentage off discount. And it all revolves around sales psychology.  Our brains just "feel better" when we use one over the other -- in certain circumstances. In this episode, I share with you what conventional marketing wisdom says about when to use a fixed price discount over a percentage off discount. Test these out in your farm marketing and see what works best. This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important marketing elements in your farm business like: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime. Join my CSA Academy Library -- this is my digital cooking resource library that I provide for my CSA members to help them learn how to become a better home chef and cook the CSA way. It includes a Beginner's Guide to CSA mini-course, Vegetable University (A to Z video tutorials for every veggie); Canning Club (canning videos); Exit Strategy videos; Instant Pot tutorial, and my Recipes and Resources pages (with weekly CSA box recipes and unboxing videos). Farmers can subscribe for a monthly fee to have access to these resources to help them support their own CSA members. Early Bird Campaigns that Convert -- In this episode, I mentioned how I would be building my CSA Early Bird Renewal Promo campaign this month. IF you want to learn my system for how I do this every year, I offer my step by step online course to help you get it done. This course will teach you how to build a compelling offer that gets your current members to decide to renew during your promo campaign. I show you the emails to write, the posts to create, and the ENERGY you need to generate in the week before you launch. Find my marketing Facebook group for CSA farmers! Follow me on Instagram for a daily IG story tip on marketing! @mydigitalfarmer

When it comes to selling raw milk to the public, farmers face legal and health challenges that make it really hard to provide this product. Luckily there is a work-around. It's called the "herdshare." The problem is, it's awfully hard to explain. In today's episode, I'm interviewing a second generation dairy farmer, who is moving her product line to raw milk. She has faced these communication and sales hurdles head-on, and she shares her unique sales strategy that is slowly but surely getting new customers in the door. We discuss: the public perception of raw milk the obstacles she has to overcome when it comes to messaging this product what types of customers want raw milk the unique questions she must answer in order to make someone ready to buy legal restrictions -- what you are and aren't allowed to do when it comes to selling raw milk how a herd share works her scrappy, brilliant sales method that closes the deal almost 100% of the time what she focuses on in her messaging to drive sales mistakes she's made along the way Even if you  aren't ever going to sell raw milk (raising my hand here), you'll hear some great beginner-farmer marketing tactics. Katie may not realize it, but she has built a few pieces of a marketing machine that will eventually be able to scale. Come take a listen and see where you can find your story in hers. Who is Katie Miller? Katie Miller is the owner of Positively Grown Farm in the small town of Hopkins, Michigan. She's a 4th generation Dairy farmer following in her dad's footsteps who has been farming for 35 years. She is the first to pursue the Raw Dairy industry and have one successful year under her belt with no slowing down in sight. When she's not milking cows she enjoys riding her Harley with friends, going to Festivals and being a mom to 4 Emus, a duck, 3 cats and her Lab/Pit Ruby This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important marketing elements in your farm business like: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime. Join my CSA Academy Library -- this is my digital cooking resource library that I provide for my CSA members to help them learn how to become a better home chef and cook the CSA way. It includes a Beginner's Guide to CSA mini-course, Vegetable University (A to Z video tutorials for every veggie); Canning Club (canning videos); Exit Strategy videos; Instant Pot tutorial, and my Recipes and Resources pages (with weekly CSA box recipes and unboxing videos). Farmers can subscribe for a monthly fee to have access to these resources to help them support their own CSA members. Find my marketing Facebook group for CSA farmers! Follow me on Instagram for a daily IG story tip on marketing! @mydigitalfarmer

September 18, 2024 What if you could brainstorm your personal marketing strategy for a new enterprise in a 1:1 call with another farmer? Well, that's exactly what happens in today's podcast. You get to be a fly on the wall, listening in on my monthly Farm Marketing School Zoom call, that turned into a 1:1 coaching call with one of the members. This month, Allan Laird was in the hot seat, and he and I work out how to build up a clientele for his goat's milk soap line. This is a brand new enterprise for him and he wasn't sure how to get started. So we built out his short term game plan in under an hour, so he has clear marching orders. If you've ever wondered what should you be working on first, second, third -- this is an episode for you. You'll hear the familiar themes from this podcast showing up in this case study. It's also loaded with tons of little nuggets and ideas that you can surely apply to your farm enterprise. By the way, I help farmers put these kinds of strategies together in Farm Marketing School. Join me inside my monthly membership this fall and winter as we decide what your strategy will look like, and then start buidiing the different parts of your machine so they all work together. Get your marketing machine DONE! Podcast Guest: Who is Allan Laird? Allan Laird returned to his farm roots after retiring from a 46-year career in public safety. Together with his wife, Sue, he now tends to 10 acres where they raise Highland cattle, various poultry, and maintain sustainable pasturelands. Committed to sustainable farming, they render fat by-products from their hogs into lard, which they use to craft goat milk soap. What began as a hobby for friends and family is now evolving into a promising business venture. This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Hit play and let's get started! Listen to this episode on Stitcher. Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts Listen to this episode on Google Play Listen to this episode on Spotify. Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important marketing elements in your farm business like: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime. Join my CSA Academy Library -- this is my digital cooking resource library that I provide for my CSA members to help them learn how to become a better home chef and cook the CSA way. It includes a Beginner's Guide to CSA mini-course, Vegetable University (A to Z video tutorials for every veggie); Canning Club (canning videos); Exit Strategy videos; Instant Pot tutorial, and my Recipes and Resources pages (with weekly CSA box recipes and unboxing videos). Farmers can subscribe for a monthly fee to have access to these resources to help them support their own CSA members. Find my marketing Facebook group for CSA farmers! Follow me on Instagram for a daily IG story tip on marketing! @mydigitalfarmer Subscribe and Review in Apple Podcast I'd love for you to subscribe to my podcast! I don't want you to miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts! Now if you're feeling extra loving, I would be really grateful if you left me a review over on Apple Podcast, too. Those reviews help other people find my podcast and they're also fun for me to go in and read. Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you! My hope is to feature guests periodically on the show. If you know someone who is innovating in the area of marketing as a farmer, please send me an email at mydigitalfarmers@gmail.com. Right click and save as to download this episode to your computer.

What do I post on social media? If you're a small farm in your first 3 years, you're likely spending a fair percentage of your "marketing time" doing social media. But are you using that time wisely? Social media has its place in the marketing funnel, but only if it's strategic. In this episode, I share with you the 5 "goals" for social media, and I list of 10 different categories of post content that should regularly be in your monthly social media rotation. If you're doing social, start off by scheduling these 10 styles of posts in your Business Suite, so you know they're covered. THIS is the "strategy." Then, use your discretionary time during the week to pop in additional "bonus" posts as inspiration strikes. Sure to become a classic episode! Grab my Social Media post ideas PDF guide here. It will give you other suggestions for the kinds of topics you can post about to drive traffic, and get leads. This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Episode 274: Scaling Your Marketing: What Farms Do Differently at Each Level - Interview with Andrew from Local Line - Andrew and I discuss the three "levels" of farm business, and what farms do differently in each one. This is a great episode if you want to know what you should be working towards as you scale. Episode 275: Tips for Using Video in Your Farm Marketing - Getting Started - This will show you ways you can use social media VIDEO in your marketing Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important marketing elements in your farm business like: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime. Join my CSA Academy Library -- this is my digital cooking resource library that I provide for my CSA members to help them learn how to become a better home chef and cook the CSA way. It includes a Beginner's Guide to CSA mini-course, Vegetable University (A to Z video tutorials for every veggie); Canning Club (canning videos); Exit Strategy videos; Instant Pot tutorial, and my Recipes and Resources pages (with weekly CSA box recipes and unboxing videos). Farmers can subscribe for a monthly fee to have access to these resources to help them support their own CSA members. Early Bird Campaigns that Convert -- In this episode, I mentioned how I would be building my CSA Early Bird Renewal Promo campaign this month. IF you want to learn my system for how I do this every year, I offer my step by step online course to help you get it done. This course will teach you how to build a compelling offer that gets your current members to decide to renew during your promo campaign. I show you the emails to write, the posts to create, and the ENERGY you need to generate in the week before you launch.  Find my marketing Facebook group for CSA farmers! Follow me on Instagram for a daily IG story tip on marketing! @mydigitalfarmer Subscribe and Review in Apple Podcast I'd love for you to subscribe to my podcast! I don't want you to miss an episode. Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts! Now if you're feeling extra loving, I would be really grateful if you left me a review over on Apple Podcast, too. Those reviews help other people find my podcast and they're also fun for me to go in and read. Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you! My hope is to feature guests periodically on the show. If you know someone who is innovating in the area of marketing as a farmer, please send me an email at mydigitalfarmers@gmail.com.

September 4, 2024   Today's podcast guest Sue Miller shares her inspiring story of how she built a thriving farm business in rural Tennessee from growing simple hydroponic butterhead lettuce on her windowsill to serving hundreds of families in her community through CSA, farmers market, wholesale, and online store. And it all happened in just 5 years. We cover marketing principles like: finding your unique niche identifying and leading with your gateway product cultivating vendor relationships to offer more products listening to your customer to build out your business sharing your passion creating community with your customers practicing patience as you coach your customers to new buying habits inspiring your customers to turn into VIPs and super buyers Sue's strategy isn't full of bells and whistles. It's actually pretty simple and elegant. Learn how she does it, and what some of her "marketing lessons" were along the way. Remember, if you need help building this piece into your marketing system, you can take over 10 marketing projects inside of Farm Marketing School. I coach you through the step by step process for how to create each piece of your marketing sales machine, from lead magnet creation to weekly emails, promotion planning, website home page design, testimonial pages, offer builds, and more. This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Meet our Podcast Guest: Sue Miller Sue Miller is the co-owner of Blackberry Pond Farm located in west TN that specializes in growing fresh and delicious vegetables hydroponically. They are in production year round and offer a CSA box quarterly. They are Organic Certified by OnMark Organic Certification with the USDA. The farm started in 2015 in the kitchen windowsill. This was a small hydroponic system to grow herbs and salad greens for Sue's use in the kitchen. They expanded to the porch with 3 gallon buckets to grow cucumbers and lettuce. Eventually they built a greenhouse, followed by MORE greenhouses, and the rest is history. Currently, they run a quarterly 100 member CSA from January-November, sell at the Martin Farmers market, wholesale to chefs and run a roadside stand from our 7 greenhouses and 2 fields of crops on 36 acres in Martin, TN.  We are involved in community education about the impact of food on health. The farm is truly a family affair! Drs. James and Sue Miller who own and started the farm are physicians. James is a full time hospitalist at the local hospital and designs and trouble shoots the hydroponic designs. Sue is a full time traveling ER physician who does all marketing, social media and customer service for the farm.  Much of the planting, transplanting, daily care harvesting and delivery is done by sons Chris and Junior and daughter in law Chelsea. Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Farm Marketing School - Want to work with me? Join my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important marketing elements in your farm business like: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime. New projects added regularly so we keep you up to date. Find my marketing Facebook group for CSA farmers! Follow me on Instagram for a daily IG story tip on marketing! @mydigitalfarmer

25 million Americans suffer needlessly from fatigue, pain, chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), and fibromyalgia (FMS). The good news is that you don't have to. My guest on today's podcast, Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum, wrote the original, bestselling guide to treating chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia—From Fatigued to Fantastic!—which has been completely revised and updated with the latest cutting-edge protocols and treatment plans. In this episode, you'll get to dive deep into the complexities of chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, and long Covid as Dr. Teitelbaum shares his personal journey and the development of his groundbreaking SHINE protocol. You'll learn why treating based on symptoms can be more effective than relying solely on test results, and you'll explore the significance of optimizing sleep, balancing hormones, and addressing chronic infections. Whether you're dealing with fatigue, fibromyalgia, or long Covid, this discussion offers invaluable insights and practical strategies to help you regain your energy and vitality, with the answers clearly organized and easy to follow, straight from one of the world's premier researchers in CFS and FMS. Dr. Teitelbaum is one of the most frequently quoted post-viral CFS, fibromyalgia, energy, and pain medical authorities in the world. He is the author of 10 books including the best-selling From Fatigued to Fantastic!, Pain Free 1-2-3, and the popular free smartphone app Cures A-Z. He is the lead author of eight studies on effective treatment for fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. Dr. Teitelbaum appears often as a guest on news and talk shows nationwide including Good Morning America, Oprah & Friends, CNN, and Fox News Health. You can discover more about his work at www.vitality101.com and www.endfatigue.com. If you're struggling with chronic fatigue or pain, this episode—and Dr. Teitelbaum's book—could be the most current and reliable resource you've been searching for to reclaim your health! Full Show Notes: https://bengreenfieldlife.com/fantastic Episode Sponsors:  UltraLux Health: Go to ultraluxhealth.com and use code BENGREENFIELD20 for 20% off. Lagoon: Go to LagoonSleep.com/BEN and use the code BEN for 15% off your first purchase. CAROL Bike: For a limited time, you can get $250 off  with the code BEN. Visit carolbike.com/ben today. ProLon: Right now, you can save 15% on your 5-day nutrition program when you go to ProLonLife.com/GREENFIELD. Organifi Happy Drops: Go to organifi.com/Ben for 20% off your order.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

So you're creating videos in your farm marketing. Wonderful! Now how do you get the most mileage out of them? If you're like most businesses, you spend a lot of time making the video, recording it, posting it, and then it falls into the black hole -- never to be seen again. But what if you could re-purpose that content and have it do double-or-triple duty for you?  For example, you film the process of packing your CSA shares in the pack shed for an Instagram story. Well... what if you took that series of clips an sticthed them together into a reel? What if you then uploaded that reel video onto YouTube and added it in your CSA sales playlist on YouTube? What if you took that YouTube URL link (along with a thumbnail image) and dropped it into email #3 of your sales email sequence for all those people who have signed up for your CSA lead magnet? Or what if you embedded that video onto your CSA sales page on your website? See what I mean? That one video got re-used in other places in your marketing sales machine. Suddenly, the idea of making strategic content videos doesn't seem like such a waste of time, does it? In today's episode, I'm sharing 10 different ways you can take the SAME piece of video content and re-use around your marketing strategy. Take some notes and let this one inspire you! By the way, I help farmers put these kinds of strategies together in Farm Marketing School. Join me this fall and winter as we decide what your strategy will look like, and then start buidiing the different parts of your machine so they all work together. This podcast was sponsored by Local Line, my preferred e-commerce platform for farmers. Are you looking for a new solution for your farm? I can't recommend it enough. Easy to use inventory management, great customer service, continuous improvement, and a culture dedicated to equipping farmers with marketing expertise, Local Line should definitely be one of the e-commerce solutions you consider as you switch.  Local Line is offering a free premium feature for free for one year on top of your paid subscription. Claim your discount by signing up for a Local Line account today and using the coupon code: MDF2024. Head to my special affiliate link to get started: www.mydigitalfarmer.com/localline Some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Join my free email list! I have a great "Crash Course in farm marketing" that will guide you through the marketing jungle over the course of several months. Each week, you'll get a new email with suggestions and tips to make your marketing better. Subscribe at https://www.mydigitalfarmer.com/subscribe Farm Marketing School - my monthly online marketing school membership just for farmers. Farm Marketing School is an on-demand library of marketing workshops and project plans that will help you build some of the most important marketing elements in your farm business like: building a promotion calendar, setting up your Google Business Profile, auditing your sales funnel, updating your home page of your website, building your first email nurture sequence, acquiring and deploying testimonials, and practicing different types of offers. You get to chose what you want to study and build each month. These projects are designed to be completed in under 30 days, so that you slowly build your marketing system piece by piece. Use the step by step project planner and resource folder to help you jumpstart your work. Take advantage of my new marketing crash course inside or take the onboarding assessment tool to help you identify where your funnel is broken and what project to do first. To see what courses are currently inside of FMS, or to try out Farm Marketing School for a month at mydigitalfarmer.com/fms  Start and cancel your membership anytime. Join my CSA Academy Library -- this is my digital cooking resource library that I provide for my CSA members to help them learn how to become a better home chef and cook the CSA way. It includes a Beginner's Guide to CSA mini-course, Vegetable University (A to Z video tutorials for every veggie); Canning Club (canning videos); Exit Strategy videos; Instant Pot tutorial, and my Recipes and Resources pages (with weekly CSA box recipes and unboxing videos). Farmers can subscribe for a monthly fee to have access to these resources to help them support their own CSA members. Searchie -- this is the online platform I recommend if you want to build your own digital resource library. (This is an affiliate link) ConvertKit - I use Convertkit as my email service provider, to build out all my email marketing campaigns and write my weekly emails. Find my marketing Facebook group for CSA farmers! Follow me on Instagram for a daily IG story tip on marketing! @mydigitalfarmer