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2 episodes with mindful marriage
Romantic relationships are sacred, powerful, and life-giving. But I don't have to tell you how difficult it is to love and let yourself be loved.Marriage and family therapist Dr. Terry Hargrave has been helping couples in crisis restore broken relationships for decades, teaching them how to get unstuck, improve communication, and move beyond destructive coping mechanisms—to find reciprocity, self-affirming confidence, emotional regulation, and a joyful, lasting love.In a world marked by loneliness, disconnection, and emotional dysregulation, Hargrave offers powerful insights on the human need for identity, safety, and belonging—and how we can heal the wounds that keep us stuck. Drawing on decades of therapeutic experience and deep personal reflection, Hargrave explains how coping mechanisms like blame, shame, control, and escape can damage relationships—and how the peace cycle of nurture, self-valuing, balanced give-and-take, and connection can restore wholeness. He discusses his unique approach to the healing and restorative power of relationships, which lifts us up to our potential, encouraging us toward a nurturing, self-valuing, non-controlling reciprocity, and true connection.In this conversation with Terry Hargrave, we discuss:How to turn around a relationship in crisis and get off the emotional rollercoasterHow to build security and trust in order to improve or repair a marriage or long-term relationshipCoping mechanisms of blame, shame, control, and escapePractical steps to learn emotional self-regulationWhat to do when only one partner is working on a relationshipThe role of the brain and neuroplasticity in relational repairAnd the spiritual underpinnings of Terry's approach to restoration therapyEpisode Highlights"It don't mean a thing if you ain't got that swing—until you claim your belovedness for yourself, nothing will change.""Relationships are a mirror—we discover who we are through how others see us.""Blame, shame, control, and escape—nothing good comes from these coping mechanisms.""Understanding doesn't produce change. Doing produces change.""When we nurture, self-value, connect, and cooperate, unleashed joy happens.""Thriving is doing more of your best self, not learning something new."Helpful Links and ResourcesRestoration Therapy Training ResourcesThe Mindful Marriage by Ron Deal and Nan Deal (with Terry and Sharon Hargrave)Five Days to a New Self by Terry HargraveEmotionally Focused Therapy and Sue Johnson's LegacyShow NotesIntroduction to Terry Hargrave and the importance of Restoration Therapy today"We are still the same humans, but with a bigger pipe of problems and fewer emotional connections."Emotional dysregulation linked to identity and safety threatsRelationships as a mirror to the self and necessary for human thriving"For there to be a me, there has to be a thou."Why relationships are difficult: imperfection, wounding, and unmet needsHow family of origin wounds influence coping styles"Families don't mean to screw each other up, but somehow they manage to."Introduction of the four major unhealthy coping mechanisms: blame, shame, control, and escapeHow overachievement, perfectionism, and withdrawal are survival strategies from early wounding"Your greatest strength might actually be an old coping habit getting in the way of intimacy."The relational signs that coping mechanisms are damaging relationshipsHealing through self-regulation: speaking truth to yourself with love"Put your hand on your heart and remind yourself of who you really are."The difference between co-regulation and self-regulation in emotional healingRestoration Therapy's peace cycle: nurture, self-value, balance, connection"Nothing good comes from blame, shame, control, or escape."The role of practice and neuroplasticity in forming new relational habits"Doing, not just understanding, is what rewires the brain."How thriving relationships move from neediness to adventurous partnershipIntimacy as knowing yourself more fully through connection, not just need satisfactionCooperative growth and mutual flourishing as hallmarks of thrivingApplication of restoration principles to broader societal healing and reconciliation"Unleashed joy happens when we choose nurture and connection, even with adversaries."The critical role of faith in affirming belovedness and ultimate identity"Everyone else and even God can tell you you're beloved—but you have to claim it for yourself."Practical advice for knowing when to seek therapyWhere to find Restoration Therapy-trained therapistsResources for learning more: Mindful Marriage and other Restoration Therapy booksThe key takeaways that I will carry with me from this conversation are the following:You can change. Your relationship can change. But it takes a daily practice of hard work to create lasting change.And though you might fail, there is hope that you can begin again.Our coping mechanisms are not superpowers. They hurt us and the people we love.Understanding is not enough. Action and behavior has to follow for change to occur.[Any others?] It takes two to tango, but that doesn't get you off the hook from doing the work on yourself.And finally, a thriving relationship creates joy all around it, within a family, in a community, and it shows how personal relationships can change society.About Terry HargraveDr. Terry Hargrave. Until he retired recently, he was the Evelyn and Frank Freed Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy at Fuller Seminary, and a nationally recognized therapist known for his pioneering work with intergenerational families.He's most well known as the founder of Restoration Therapy, which combines advantages of Attachment Theory, Emotional Regulation, and Mindfulness—all in an efficient and organized format that allows both the therapist and client to understand old habits and destructive patterns of behavior and promote change in both individual mental and spiritual health, in order to transform our most intimate relationships.Terry has authored or co-authored over 35 professional articles and fifteen books including Restoration Therapy: Understanding and Guiding Healing in Marriage and Family Therapy and Families and Forgiveness: Healing Wounds in the Intergenerational Family.In his latest book project, he worked with his wife Sharon, also a licensed marriage and family therapist. It's called The Mindful Marriage: Create Your Best Relationship Through Understanding and Managing Yourself, and it's a practical manual co-written with Ron and Nan Deal about how they healed their relationship after almost losing it.He's presented internationally on relationship dynamics, family and marriage restoration, the complexities of intergenerational families, healing and reconciliation, and the process of aging.His work has been featured on ABC News, 20/20, Good Morning America, and CBS This Morning as well as several national magazines and newspapers.You can learn more about Terry Hargrave and his work—and find books, practical resources, and professional training materials at: restorationtherapytraining.com. About the Thrive CenterLearn more at thethrivecenter.org.Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenterFollow us on X @thrivecenterFollow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter About Dr. Pam KingDr. Pam King is Executive Director the Thrive Center and is Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. Follow her @drpamking. About With & ForHost: Pam KingSenior Director and Producer: Jill WestbrookOperations Manager: Lauren KimSocial Media Graphic Designer: Wren JuergensenConsulting Producer: Evan RosaSpecial thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and the Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy.
Do you feel like you are in an emotionally distant marriage? In this special episode, Jim and Lynne Jackson interview Ron and Nan Deal about their new book, The Mindful Marriage, which combines biblical foundations with brain science. The authors vulnerably share how their marriage hit a crisis point after 20 years, leading them to […]
Are there destructive patterns in your marriage where you and your spouse argue over the same things? Hear a "Best of Chris Fabry Live" conversation from the beginning of the year. Ron and Nan Deal were teaching and counseling couples while their own marriage was struggling. With the help of neuroscience and biblical principles, they discovered how to stop the emotional triggers that had them reacting to each other. Hear about The Mindful Marriage on Chris Fabry Live. Emotional Reactivity Assessment For more information about the work of Care Net, click here. Chris Fabry Live is listener-supported. To support the program, click here.Become a Back Fence Partner: https://moodyradio.org/donateto/chrisfabrylive/partnersSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Lantz Howard, Ron, and Nan Deal discussed the importance of intentional quality time in relationships and the significance of initiating special moments. They also explored the concept of the Pain and Peace Cycle, its impact on relationships, and the importance of maturity, love, trustworthiness, and humility in personal and leadership development. The conversation concluded with a discussion on the importance of practicing communication skills and the 4 steps of the Pain and Peace cycle in improving relationships. The Mindful Marriage: Create Your Best Relationships by Understanding and Managing Yourself Backed by neuroscience and biblical principles, this book delivers a therapeutic model for couples who want to stop the painful patterns in troubled relationships as well as healthy marriages, so that they can build a stronger connection. Discover Your Pain Cycle -- To work with Lantz Howard on your marriage and leadership as your professional coach get started by taking a free leadership assessment at www.lantzhoward.com
Ron and Nan Deal, authors of the new book, "Mindful Marriage," join us for a conversation not about marriage, but instead a peek behind the curtain at the reality of recovering from loss, grief, and addiction.Learn more about Ron and Nan: https://rondeal.org/Support There is More: https://neveralonewidows.kindful.com/?campaign=1284937Get 10% discount on Father's House Study with code: FH10Get the Father's House Study: https://www.fathershousestudy.com/Get the Free Spiritual Warfare Course: https://www.thereismoreforyou.org/Follow There is More Podcast on Instagram: @thereismorepodcast
How do we get out of the negative patterns in our marriage? What impact does learning to regulate our own emotions have on our relationships?For authors Ron and Nan Deal, it wasn't until they learned to self-regulate their own emotions after the built up pain from their stories and the loss of their child that they began to find healing in the destructive cycles in their marriage. When their relationship had reached a critical point, they found hope and help in the work of Dr. Terry and Sharon Hargrave, whose transformational Restoration Therapy gave Ron and Nan a path forward together in healing. In their new book, **The Mindful Marriage: Create Your Best Relationship Through Understanding and Managing Yourself**, Ron and Nan, along with the Hargraves, share both Biblical principles and neuroscience that will help create a more loving, faithful marriage for readers.In this honest and raw conversation, Davey sits down with Ron and Nan to talk about the impact family of origin has in our relationships, why emotional regulation is so important, and how learning to renew your mind can help your brain heal from unhealthy patterns of thinking and relating with your spouse.No matter what state your marriage is in currently, this episode will show you how learning about your own unhelpful ways of coping can bring healing, hope, and flourishing to your most important relationship-your marriage. Website:https://rondeal.org/Instagram:instagram.com/familylifeblendedFacebook:https://www.facebook.com/familylifeblended/Book: The Mindful Marriage: Create Your Best Relationship Through Understanding and Managing Yourselfhttps://a.co/d/dMSDPsZAre you looking for the perfect study for your small group? Check out the Nothing is Wasted Video Series:https://www.nothingiswasted.com/bookstudyGet your copy of When It Hurts: Comforting Promises for Hard Times here:generationclaimed.com/when-it-hurtsLearn more about The Healing Leader Roundtable on March 6th in Indianapolis here:nothingiswasted.com/roundtable
No one enjoys being in conflict with their spouse. But the reality for every couple is that conflict is unavoidable.We all experience disagreement that leads to conflict. But there's a big difference between doing conflict well versus spiraling into unproductive patterns where we say and do things that at best aren't helpful and at worst erode love and trust in our relationship.You can probably relate. Your spouse does something that triggers a painful emotion and you react. You might blame, shame yourself, take control, or try to avoid the whole situation. It's natural and normal for all of us to react these ways, but you don't have to stay stuck in unproductive, damaging patterns. You can learn to do conflict well, just like we have!In this episode, our friends Ron and Nan Deal share their personal journey. After hitting rock bottom in their marriage, finding restoration, and discovering the tools that transformed their relationship, they've written an amazing book called The Mindful Marriage. Their new book breaks down powerful concepts into relatable, practical steps for couples everywhere.Ron and Nan are popular speakers who specialize in restoration therapy, blended families, and supporting grieving parents. Ron, a bestselling author, licensed marriage and family therapist, and podcaster, also serves as a senior director at FamilyLife. Nan, a retired teacher, now champions her community through Live Thankfully.From navigating destructive cycles of conflict and emotional pain to increasing love, trust, and intimacy in your relationship — today's conversation is full of hope, encouragement, and actionable wisdom!What You'll Learn:Identifying and breaking free from pain cycles in your relationship.Practical steps to create a “peace cycle” that strengthens love and trust.Insights into how family history impacts marriage dynamics.Why emotional regulation is a game-changer for blended families.The importance of “usness” in building a thriving relationship.Resources Mentioned:The Mindful Marriage by Ron and Nan DealRestoration Therapy model by Dr. Terry HargraveBonus materials are available at RonDeal.orgReady for some extra support?We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesessionLeave a Review in Apple PodcastsIf you're feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they're fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!
When Ron and Nan Deal suffered the devastating loss of their child, their marriage was nearly shattered by destructive cycles. On this Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, you’ll hear how a different approach to their conflict patterns helped break those cycles and bring them together. Hear about their “mindful marriage” and how it could help yours on Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. Featured resource: The Mindful Marriage: Create Your Best Relationship Through Understanding and Managing YourselfDonate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/buildingrelationshipsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
What's the secret to healing marriage struggles and fostering deep connection? In this heartfelt and incredibly vulnerable conversation, Ron and Nan Deal share their journey of rebuilding a marriage that almost unraveled. Drawing from their new book, The Mindful Marriage, they reveal how understanding and managing your own pain cycles can transform relationships. Whether you're married, single, or navigating any relationship, this episode offers profound wisdom and practical tools for emotional and personal growth. Episode Highlights: * Explore one couple's journey through shame, blame, and rediscovering connection. * Learn 4 Pain Cycles that disrupt relationships and how to break free from them. * Uncover practical steps to nurture your relationship's “us-ness” without losing yourself. * Learn what to do when you're willing to do the work—but your partner isn't. Get your copy of The Mindful Marriage here. Take the free assessment Ron and Nan mention in the episode here. For more insights and tools for emotional and relational health, subscribe to Dr. Alison's weekly email newsletter here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 115: 4 Ways to Transform Your Relationship: Expert Tips to Heal Pain Points and Deepen Intimacy Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Get ahead of the New Year with a routine that helps you now by going to Seed.com/BESTOFYOU and use code 25BESTOFYOU to get 25% off your first month. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Discover the transformative power of a "Mindful Marriage" in our enlightening conversation with Ron Deal, a leading expert in the field of marriage and blended families. Ron shares the profound impact of restoration therapy on his own relationship and introduces practical steps anyone can apply to foster peace and unity in their marriage. Alongside insights from his latest book, Ron also opens up about the newfound joy of becoming a grandfather, adding a personal and heartfelt touch to our discussion.For full show note details, go to the episode webpage:
Are there destructive patterns in your marriage where you and your spouse argue over the same things? Ron and Nan Deal were teaching and counseling couples while their own marriage was struggling. With the help of neuroscience and biblical principles, they discovered how to stop the emotional triggers that had them simply reacting to each other. Hear about The Mindful Marriage on Chris Fabry Live. Emotional Reactivity Assessment For more information about the work of Care Net, click here. Chris Fabry Live is listener-supported. To support the program, click here.Become a Back Fence Partner: https://moodyradio.org/donateto/chrisfabrylive/partnersSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
How can you begin building healthy relationships? Ron and Nan Deal, authors of the new book, "Mindful Marriage," talk about the importance of emotional safety and trust in marriage. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/84/29
How can you begin building healthy relationships? Ron and Nan Deal, authors of the new book, "Mindful Marriage," talk about the importance of emotional safety and trust in marriage. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/84/29
How can you begin building healthy relationships? Ron and Nan Deal, authors of the new book, "Mindful Marriage," talk about the importance of emotional safety and trust in marriage. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/84/29
How can you begin building healthy relationships? Ron and Nan Deal, authors of the new book, "Mindful Marriage," talk about the importance of emotional safety and trust in marriage. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/84/29
Maybe you've heard the statistics ... that upwards of 80% of marriages fail after the loss of a child. Did you know that is actually a myth? Of course, the loss of a child is disruptive to all of our relationships, not just the marriage bond, but there are strategies we can learn to lessen these impacts. Ron and Nan Deal join me to talk about their new book titled "The Mindful Marriage", which teaches principles of emotional self-regulation that are helpful for both couples and singles. It's not a "grief book", like most of the books we discuss on this podcast, but wow, does it contain some helpful information for those who grieve. In our conversation today, Ron and Nan share very candidly about the struggles they've experienced in their own marriage, particularly since the loss of their son Connor in 2009, and how employing the principles described in their book have made a difference for them. You may want to grab a pencil and paper to take some notes because this episode is chock full of very practical information that will enhance your relationships with others. I believe you'll be blessed by listening in. Click HERE to visit Ron's website, where you can learn more about The Mindful Marriage conference and book. Click HERE to pre-order The Mindful Marriage on Amazon. It will be available for purchase on January 7, 2025.Click HERE for Part One and HERE for Part Two of my conversation with Nan, in which she shares how God brought her out of the darkness of numbing behaviors after the loss of Connor. Click HERE for Part One and HERE for Part Two of my conversation with Ron and Nan about the marriage relationship after child loss. Click HERE to listen to Family Life Blended Podcast, hosted by Ron. I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message!** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry. We'd love for you to connect with us here at While We're Waiting! Click HERE to visit our website and learn about our free While We're Waiting Weekends for bereaved parentsClick HERE to learn more about our network of While We're Waiting support groups all across the country. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channelClick HERE to follow our public Facebook pageClick HERE to follow us on Instagram Click HERE to follow us on Twitter Click HERE to make a tax-deductible donation to the While We're Waiting ministryContact Jill by email at: jill@whilewerewaiting.org
In this episode of Healing & Human Potential, we're exploring what your origin story is based on the top 5 wounds and unpacking how realizing yours can shift every aspect of your life. Enjoy two psychotherapists who aren't holding anything back, give you all the secrets to building lasting + fulfilling relationships. We also discuss the different attachment styles and share the key to rebuilding trust so you can forgive and get free. Today's guest, Vienna Pharaon, is an author and one of New York's most sought-after relationship therapists. We're opening up about our past, sharing what's helped shape us, so you can see that although every journey is different, they're all beautifully unique + offer us lessons at every step if we're willing to look. === EPISODE TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 - Intro 2:57 - The 5 Origin Wounds Explained 8:29 - Why Getting to the Root Is Important 14:58 - Example of How the Worthiness Wound Can Look 23:11 - How Your Wounds Affect Your Relationships 28:20 - The Most Common Red Flags 33:23 - How to Know It's Time to Let Go of a Relationship 41:25 - How We Form Our Attachment Styles 48:13 - Forgiveness Practice 1:00:02 - The Key to Rebuilding Trust 1:04:28 - Advice to Support Your Healing Journey === Vienna Pharaon is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City's most sought after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for over fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice, Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. She received her Master of Science in Marriage & Family Therapy from Northwestern University, and trained extensively at The Family Institute, Bette D. Harris Center. Pharaon has been featured in The Economist, Netflix, Vice, and Motherly, and has led workshops for Peloton and Netflix, amongst others. Her book The Origins of You is a National Bestseller. Learn more at ViennaPharaon.com or by following @mindfulmft on Instagram. Website: https://viennapharaon.com Instagram: @mindfulmft Facebook: MindfulMFT TikTok: mindfulmft === Have you watched our previous episode with Emilio? Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/bjHpRB-z0n0 ==== Alyssa Nobriga International, LLC - Disclaimer This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. We shall in no event be held liable to any party for any reason arising directly or indirectly for the use or interpretation of the information presented in this video. Copyright 2023, Alyssa Nobriga International, LLC - All rights reserved. === Website: alyssanobriga.com Instagram: @alyssanobriga TikTok - @alyssanobriga Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/6b5s2xbA2d3pETSvYBZ9YR Apple Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/healing-human-potential/id1705626495
I had the absolute pleasure to have a conversation with the amazing Vienna Pharaon about how breaking family patterns can liberate the way we live and love. Vienna Pharaon is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City's most sought after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for over fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice, Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. She has been featured in The Economist, Netflix, Vice, and Motherly, and has led workshops for Peloton and Netflix, amongst others. Her book "The Origins of You" is a National Bestseller. We talk about: Why we adopt and adapt to family's beliefs and behaviors The difference between belonging and fitting in How origin wounds, such as prioritization and belonging wounds, can impact relationships and the ability to trust others How we can heal from these origin wounds and break free from unwanted patterns Why tolerating discomfort and taking risks are necessary for change and empowerment. You will learn so much from Vienna about the impact of attachment, authenticity, and family dynamics on relationships and how origin wounds can shape our behaviors and choices in relationships. This is a must listen if you want to heal and break free from unhealthy patterns and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Website: https://viennapharaon.com Instagram: @mindfulmft What is Your Origin Wound? Quiz: https://1wsm6geg69z.typeform.com/to/d981R7Cl For more free tips and up to date information, click here to register for the Smart Dating Academy free newsletter! https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/contact Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy/
Vienna Pharaon is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City's most sought after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for over fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice, Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. Pharaon has been featured in numerous publications, and has led workshops for Peloton and Netflix, amongst others. Her book The Origins of You is a National Bestseller. Vienna's new book The Origins of You - How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love unlocks a healing process to help us understand our Family of Origin—the family and framework we grew up within — and examine what worked (and didn't) in that system. Certain dysfunctions (or “wounds”) in that Family of Origin will manifest in our adult behaviors in surprising ways, from work challenges to interpersonal struggles. But the good news is: Armed with the knowledge about our past, we can actually rewire our programming to meaningfully improve our relationships and our lives in the future. The five wound categories are Trust, Worthiness, Belonging, Safety and Prioritization. Listen to Sara and Vienna talk about all of this and help you decipher your origin wounds, how to understand how it may be holding you back, Create a new Framework and how to heal. Take the Origin Wound quiz: What is Your Origin Wound? https://1wsm6geg69z.typeform.com/to/d981R7Cl IG: https://www.instagram.com/saraschultingkranz/ You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/@saraschultingkranz./about Sponsor: Go to www.saraschultingkranz.com and use the code Live Boldly at checkout to get the special price of $39 for programs offered. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2159: Explore the depths of a lasting marriage with Dr. Donna Rockwell's insights on creating a mindful union. Discover effective strategies to nurture and maintain the vibrancy of your marital relationship, transcending the commonplace challenges with wisdom and patience. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.psychalive.org/as-long-as-we-both-shall-live-creating-a-mindful-marriage/ Quotes to ponder: "Staying present and patient through each other's growth spurts and dips, successes and pitiful crashes, shining moments and monumental mistakes is what love is all about." "Love is experienced, in the moment, as a spontaneous opening of the heart." "Anger passes, like clouds in the sky, so rather than indulging its allure, we can simply watch it pass by instead, like a cloud." Episode references: Jewel Heart: https://www.jewelheart.org/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
It's no surprise to the Almost 30 community that your childhood trauma and wounds can shape your adult life. Vienna Pharaon knows this all too well. A licensed marriage and family therapist, and one of New York City's most sought-after relationship therapists, she has practiced therapy for more than fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy.Today, she joins Krista on the show to discuss her first book, The Origins of You. It doesn't matter whether you've been in therapy for decades, or if therapy just isn't for you. It doesn't matter if you have countless memories from childhood, or none at all. All that matters is having a willingness to look inside, dig deep, and commit to building the life you want.In this episode, Krista and Vienna discuss how to fully understand the family dynamics and dysfunctions that created what she calls “origin wounds,” as well as the practical work needed to heal our wounds and leave behind the limiting beliefs and behaviors that don't serve us.Morning Microdose is a podcast curated by Krista Williams and Lindsey Simcik, the hosts and founders of Almost 30, a global community, brand, and top rated podcast.With curated clips from the Almost 30 podcast, Morning Mircodose will set the tone for your day, so you can feel inspired through thought provoking conversations…all in digestible episodes that are less than 10 minutes.Wake up with Krista and Lindsey, both literally and spiritually, Monday-Friday.If you enjoyed this conversation, listen to the full episode on Spotify here and on Apple here.
Dive into the depths of your past and discover the keys to unlocking your present as we explore the powerful concepts of "family of origin" and “origin wounds.” From the tender moments to the subtle missteps, our early family dynamics shape the very core of who we are. It's not just about trauma or neglect; even the most loving caregivers leave imprints that ripple through our lives. Join us as New York Times bestselling author Vienna Pharaon guides us through the intricate web of relationships, self-worth, and worldview that we inherit from our upbringing. Together, we'll uncover the patterns that stealthily influence our present, and learn how confronting our origin wounds can lead to profound mental health and personal growth. Don't miss this eye-opening journey into the heart of your past, where understanding paves the way to healing and self-discovery. “I'll hear people kind of with the narrative of, well, they did the best that they could, or they were so much better than their parents were to them. Right? There's many reasons why looking back at our family of origins can feel overwhelming and complicated. Sometimes we feel guilty. Sometimes we feel ungrateful. We're not on a hunt to find something. Right? It's not about trying to throw our parents or the adults under the bus. We're not trying to hate anybody. We're here. We're looking to acknowledge how we experienced those years and how we've internalized those things.” ~Vienna Pharaon, Author of “The Origins of You” To learn more -- or read the transcript -- visit the official episode page. Our guest, Vienna Pharaon, is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist and one of New York City's most sought-after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for more than fifteen years and is the founder of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. She received her master of science in marriage and family therapy from Northwestern University and trained extensively at The Family Institute, Bette D. Harris Family & Child Clinic. Pharaon has been featured in The Economist, Vice, and Motherly, and has led workshops for Peloton and Netflix, among others. Vienna is the author of national bestseller The Origins of You, and the creator of @mindfulMFT on Instagram where she's helping over 600K people around the world heal their wounds. About "This Keeps Happening" Every week, I speak with anonymous strangers about the challenges they're facing in their lives and relationships. Listen as real people unpack emotional wounds with me. Together, we'll attempt to break unhealthy patterns and find clarity and a way forward. Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. Gabe makes his home in the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio. He lives with his supportive wife, Kendall, and a Miniature Schnauzer dog that he never wanted, but now can't imagine life without. To book Gabe for your next event or learn more about him, please visit gabehoward.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Licensed marriage and family therapist Vienna Pharaon joins us today to help us understand the family systems that we grew up in, so that we can resolve our wounds from the past and move forward in life with freedom. Vienna Shares:The personal experiences in her childhood and throughout her life that brought her to this workSmall mindset shifts that can result in big outcomesHow we can start to acknowledge our past experiences without guilt or shameUnderstanding how childhood trauma informs our adult behaviorsThe hard truths about setting boundariesThe subconscious way we choose our partners What we need to consider when searching for loveAbout Vienna:Vienna Pharaon is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City's most sought-after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for more than fifteen years and is the founder of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy where she's helping over 600K people around the world heal their wounds.She received her master of science in marriage and family therapy from Northwestern University, and trained extensively at The Family Institute, Bette D. Harris Family & Child Clinic. Her national bestseller, The Origins of You, unlocks a healing process to help us understand our Family of Origin and teaches us how to break family patterns and help liberate the way we live and love.Her work has been featured by The Economist, Netflix, Vice, Vogue, and many more. IG: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Valuing your worthiness involves recognizing and appreciating your inherent value as a human being, independent of external factors or validation from others. By nurturing a positive relationship with yourself and honoring your inherent worth, you can cultivate a deeper sense of fulfillment, confidence, and resilience in all areas of your life.Today, let's welcome renowned relationship expert Vienna Pharaon. Vienna is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City's most sought after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for over fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice, Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. Vienna and Mary touch on the essence of human existence and the dynamics of relationships. Explore the origins of our identity and the restorative power found in therapy and discover the delicate balance between self-assurance and vulnerability, and the importance of expanding our skill sets to navigate life's complexities. Together, they unpack the intricate landscape of emotional wounds that shape our interactions and perceptions. From the struggle with self-worth to the challenges of belonging and trust, we uncover the layers of our innermost struggles. Along the way, we challenge societal narratives and misconceptions about therapy, emphasizing the significance of genuine connections and emotional honesty.Join us as we unravel the complexities of human emotion, relationships, and self-discovery in this transformative episode.What We Discussed:00:00 Intro00:45 The Origins of You01:52 Being a therapist can be restorative for some05:08 The “I Got This” mindset06:34 Continue to expand your skill set19:35 It's harder to say, “I'm not fine.”14:00 Our gifts come through our survival18:30 Origin is the first time we question our worth20:33 How do you become an effective listener?24:30 How your behavior is protecting you from something, always26:15 Do you understand yourself?28:11 The Worthiness Wound32:12 “I don't want to be responsible for someone else.”35:54 How your story gets internalized makes a huge difference38:32 Can you handle someone else's emotional baggage?39:41 The Belonging Wound44:58 “You're so unique, just like everybody else.”46:50 We can rationalize things and still need to connect to our emotion about it51:18 The Trust Wound55:32 The Safety Wound56:39 How hard can origin work become?01:00:50 What are the good things to look for in a therapist?01:04:44 Misinformation about therapy on social media01:08:24 The narrative: “You didn't get into this field to earn money.” 01:15:11 Unsolicited advice are never helpful01:18:59 You're intimidating because you're too masculine01:22:54 When embodied anger rises into our head01:28:37 When saying you're not okay makes everyone else uncomfortable01:31:20 Can therapists self disclose to genuinely connect with clients?01:34:44 What is EMDR Therapy?01:37:32 Something is always happening at home01:41:36 How unexpressed emotions manifest into the body01:48:23 Relationships with our family can become complicated01:52:10 Sometimes, it's easier for us to find ourselves in other people's stories 01:56:21 A book about the final chapter in our life02:02:17 What is an End of Life Doula? Follow Vienna Pharoan:https://viennapharaon.com/https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmfthttps://www.linkedin.com/in/vienna-pharaon-lmft-a7a66346/The Origins of You: How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and LoveThis Keeps Happening with Vienna PharaonFollow Mary Shenouda:https://www.instagram.com/paleochefhttps://paleochef.com/https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryshenouda/https://www.tiktok.com/@paleochef
When is it okay to never get over something? When is it time to stop unpacking in therapy and start moving forward? Where do you start if you don't have the tools? Today, we answer all of these and more with licensed marriage and family therapist, Vienna Pharaon. Vienna Pharaon is the founder of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy and one of New York City's most sought-after relationship therapists. Vienna's new book ‘The Origins of You' teaches readers to change unwanted patterns in their lives by changing their relationship to their past wounds. Don't forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! 0:00 Intro5:38 Vienna's unpacking19:46 Behaviors & grief21:29 When is it okay to never get over something?26:33 Where to start if you don't have all the tools?32:06 Trading authenticity for attachment40:54 When is it time to stop digging through the past and start moving forward?48:06 Addressing the "mother wound" 58:14 Self-worth, expanders, & not putting people on pedestals1:03:13 The twin demons: repetition and opposition & what integration looks likeMORE VIENNA:The Origins Of You: https://viennapharaon.com/Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-keeps-happening-with-vienna-pharaon/id1702579456IG: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft/SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV'S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shopDiscount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary
With the holidays approaching, almost all of us will share one thing in common– spending time with family. For some, family makes it the best time of year. But for a lot of others, family brings emotional triggers or unwanted feelings from the past. Family and Marriage therapist Vienna Pharaon joins me today to talk about how healing your wounds from the past creates space for healthier relationships to come. We discuss how old family dysfunctions can manifest in your adult behaviors in surprising ways. But don't worry– she has a healing process to help you improve your relationships and your life! So, listen now to discover how you can rewire your programming, look at your family systems, and heal any old wounds for good. Vienna Pharaon Vienna Pharaon is a family and marriage therapist with over fifteen years in practice. She's the founder and owner of the group practice, Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. Pharaon has been featured in The Economist, Netflix, Vice, and Motherly. Her book The Origins of You is a National Bestseller, and she hosts the new podcast This Keeps Happening. IN THIS EPISODE Vienna's experience as a therapist and pivotal personal moments Navigating and nurturing relationships in family systems Healing patterns of past wounds and pain for a better future The 5 origin wounds that encompass the human experience Recognizing negative emotions and replacing them with curiosity Tips for navigating feelings around unchanging relationships Creating boundaries and safe spaces for yourself More about Vienna's book The Origins of You RESOURCES MENTIONED Order The Origins of You Book Here! Vienna's Website Vienna's Instagram This Keeps Happening Podcast RELATED EPISODES #356: You're Always One Thought Away From Living A Life You Love With Kerry Tepedino #337: Rewire Your Nervous System Out Of Stressful Patterns Using Your Breath With Amanda Laine #473: 3 Easy Rituals To Instantly Feel Good
Vienna Pharaon is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City's most sought after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for over fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice, Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. She received her Master of Science in Marriage & Family Therapy from Northwestern University, and trained extensively at The Family Institute, Bette D. Harris Center. Pharaon has been featured in The Economist, Netflix, Vice, and Motherly, and has led workshops for Peloton and Netflix, amongst others. She currently lives in Upstate, New York with her husband and son.Take the origin wound quiz HERE.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
It's no surprise to the Almost 30 community that your childhood trauma and wounds can shape your adult life. Vienna Pharaon knows this all too well. A licensed marriage and family therapist, and one of New York City's most sought-after relationship therapists, she has practiced therapy for more than fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy.Morning Microdose is a podcast curated by Krista Williams and Lindsey Simcik, the hosts and founders of Almost 30, a global community, brand, and top rated podcast.With curated clips from the Almost 30 podcast, Morning Mircodose will set the tone for your day, so you can feel inspired through thought provoking conversations…all in digestible episodes that are less than 10 minutes.Wake up with Krista and Lindsey, both literally and spiritually, Monday-Friday.If you enjoyed this conversation, listen to the full episode here.
What if the key to transforming your life and relationships lies hidden in your past? What if you were able to realize your authentic self by discovering and addressing your origin story? In this episode of the Darin Olien show, I'm joined by Vienna Pharaon who dives into the intriguing concept of origin stories, their role in shaping our belief systems, and how breaking family patterns can liberate the way you live and love. Vienna shares how even seemingly insignificant behaviors within our family systems can profoundly influence our self-perception and impact our relationships – as well as how we often overlook the consequences of trading authenticity for connection and how we can strive to develop authenticity by acknowledging and working through the pain rooted in our origin stories. Vienna Pharaon is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City's most sought-after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for more than fifteen years and is the founder of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. She received her master of science in marriage and family therapy from Northwestern University, and trained extensively at The Family Institute, Bette D. Harris Family & Child Clinic. Pharaon has been featured in The Economist, Vice, and Motherly, and has led workshops for Peloton and Netflix, among others. Vienna is the creator of @mindfulMFT on Instagram where she's helping over 600K people around the world heal their wounds. Thank you to our sponsors: Find more from Vienna: Website: https://viennapharaon.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft/ Book: https://viennapharaon.com/ Find more from Darin: Website: https://darinolien.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Darinolien/ Book: https://darinolien.com/fatal-conveniences-book/ Down to Earth: https://darinolien.com/down-to-earth/
It's no surprise to the Almost 30 community that your childhood trauma and wounds can shape your adult life. Vienna Pharaon knows this all too well.A licensed marriage and family therapist, and one of New York City's most sought-after relationship therapists, she has practiced therapy for more than fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. Morning Microdose is a podcast curated by Krista Williams and Lindsey Simcik, the hosts and founders of Almost 30, a global community, brand, and top rated podcast.With curated clips from the Almost 30 podcast, Morning Mircodose will set the tone for your day, so you can feel inspired through thought provoking conversations…all in digestible episodes that are less than 10 minutes.Wake up with Krista and Lindsey, both literally and spiritually, Monday-Friday.If you enjoyed this conversation, listen to the full episode here.
The Cathy Heller Podcast: A Podcast for Soulful Entrepreneurs
How can you liberate yourself from the behaviors and beliefs that don't serve you? Vienna Pharaon, founder and owner of Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy, relationship therapist, and bestselling author was on an early search for understanding how to build and maintain healthy relationships, having grown up in a household where her parents were stuck in a 9 year divorce process. She shares how to recognize the unconscious wounds from your own upbringing that affect your current patterns, how to sit in the pause and let the origin healing begin, how to let pain guide you towards the areas you need to work on, how to be a witness to yourself, and how to own the keys to your worthiness. - Only a few spots left to Cathy's Florida retreat, June 25-27th! Cathyheller.com/retreat - Get your copy of Vienna's book, The Origins of You: How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love https://viennapharaon.com/ - Follow Vienna on Instagram @mindfulmft - Vienna's Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy https://www.newyorkcouplescounseling.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In this episode, Liz speaks with marriage and family therapist Vienna Pharaon. Vienna has her own practice called Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy and regularly shares relationship insights and advice on her popular Instagram account. Now, she has a new book called The Origins of You — all about how our families of origins shape how we show up in adult relationships, and how we can recognize and heal our own origin wounds. She also talks about how motherhood has helped to reshape her perspective on her work and how she advises couples to nurture their relationships.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
It's no surprise to the Almost 30 community that your childhood trauma and wounds can shape your adult life. Vienna Pharaon knows this all too well. A licensed marriage and family therapist, and one of New York City's most sought-after relationship therapists, she has practiced therapy for more than fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy.Morning Microdose is a podcast curated by Krista Williams and Lindsey Simcik, the hosts and founders of Almost 30, a global community, brand, and top rated podcast.With curated clips from the Almost 30 podcast, Morning Mircodose will set the tone for your day, so you can feel inspired through thought provoking conversations…all in digestible episodes that are less than 10 minutes.Wake up with Krista and Lindsey, both literally and spiritually, Monday-Friday.If you enjoyed this conversation, listen to the full episode here.
It's no surprise to the Almost 30 community that your childhood trauma and wounds can shape your adult life. Vienna Pharaon knows this all too well. A licensed marriage and family therapist, and one of New York City's most sought-after relationship therapists, she has practiced therapy for more than fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. Today, she joins Krista on the show to discuss her first book, The Origins of You. It doesn't matter whether you've been in therapy for decades, or if therapy just isn't for you. It doesn't matter if you have countless memories from childhood, or none at all. All that matters is having a willingness to look inside, dig deep, and commit to building the life you want. In this episode, Krista and Vienna discuss how to fully understand the family dynamics and dysfunctions that created what she calls “origin wounds,” as well as the practical work needed to heal our wounds and leave behind the limiting beliefs and behaviors that don't serve us. We also talk about: Why the “firsts” in your life are important Understanding your family patterns Remembering your childhood wounds Fear about recalling the past What it means to be hypervigilant Living in victim mentality + avoiding healing How there will always be a need to heal + grow Examples of people unpacking their wounds Resources: Instagram: @mindfulmft Facebook: Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy Book: The Origins of You Sponsors: Vive Organic | Visit viveorganic.com and use code ALMOST30 at checkout for 15% off your first product. Osea | Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code ALMOST30 at OSEAMalibu.com Storyworth | Save $10 on your first purchase when you go to Storyworth.com/almost30 Daily Harvest | Go to dailyharvest.com/almost30 to get up to sixty-five dollars off your first box Cozy Earth | Get 35% off site wide when you use the code ALMOST30 at cozyearth.com To advertise on our podcast, please reach out to sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/Almost30. Learn more: almost30.com/learn almost30.com/morningmicrodose almost30.com/courses Join our community: almost30.com/membership facebook.com/Almost30podcast/groups Podcast disclaimer can be found by visiting: almost30.com/disclaimer. Find more to love at almost30.com! Almost 30 is edited by Marielle Marlys. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In this episode of the Very Best Self Podcast we are joined by Vienna Pharaon, she is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City's most sought-after relationship therapists. She has practised therapy for more than fifteen years and is the founder of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. She is the best selling author of a book “The Origins Of You”. We talk about relationships with ourselves, our partners, our parents, our kids, we talk about origin wounds, what is pain and so much more. This episode is for you if you have some patterns in your life that you see over and over again and you want to change that. Connect with Vienna - @mindfulmft Get Vienna's book “The Origins Of You” - https://viennapharaon.com/ TIMESTAMPS(03:04) - About Vienna Pharaon(05:58) - Post on her Instagram - Receiving feedback with curiosity instead of defensiveness...(12:12) - What are origin wounds?(22:10) - What is pain?(25:47) - Would you say that couples should go for a couple's therapist even if there's no problem?(28:21) - Is it possible for us to pass our origin wounds down to our children?(36:21) - In relationships is it normal to have expectations of your partner and can become harmful in relationships?(43:45) - What is the best piece of advice you'd give to your younger self?---------------------------------Let's connect!DM us on Instagram: @verybestself Follow my personal Instagram account to learn more about the host!Instagram: @victoriabrownIf you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review the show on apple podcasts!https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/very-best-self-podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Do you want to experience more intimacy in your marriage through time in God's word and praying together, but find yourselves spending more time scrolling and binging tv? Do you desire to lead your children to know, love, and serve the Lord… but don't even know where to begin? Do you want to incorporate more Jesus into everyday family life but don't seem to have enough time nor bandwidth for it after all of your adulting? In today's BONUS episode Sasha shares about the NEW Faithful Family Fortress Podcast that she and her husband, Robbie, have launched. Robbie has been a frequent past guest here on the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Podcast and the episodes they've shared have received a great response. God really placed it on their hearts to break off from this space and create a new podcast to speak specifically to Faithful Family, Mindful Marriage, Purposeful Parenting, and Humble Homemaking. Be sure to head over to FaithfulFamilyFortress.com or to apple podcasts to listen, subscribe, leave and review, share with your spouse, and share with a friend!
Vienna Pharaon is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City's most sought-after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for more than fifteen years and is the founder of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. She received her master of science in marriage and family therapy from Northwestern University and trained extensively at The Family Institute, Bette D. Harris Family & Child Clinic. Pharaon has been featured in The Economist, Vice, and Motherly and has led workshops for Peloton and Netflix, among others. She currently lives in Upstate New York with her husband and son. THE ORIGINS OF YOU is her first book, and it zeroes in on our Families of Origin, the early caregivers who provided the first lessons on everything from love and conflict to safety, communication, and trust. There's no guarantee that the education our Family of Origin (FOO) provides us will be healing or even functional; to be sure, families frequently miss the mark in significant ways, creating wounds, beliefs, or behaviors that are reflected in the life choices or relationships we choose as adults. Vienna traces a direct line from present-day behaviors that limit us back to the family systems in which we were raised. But she doesn't stop there. She also: Unlocks a healing process to help us fully understand the family dynamics and dysfunctions that created what she calls “origin wounds.” We all have some version of these wounds; some are difficult to identify, and others can be hard to manage. Identifies the five most common wounds that derail us in subtle and not-so-subtle ways—wounds that, if left untended, can leave us questioning our worthiness; yearning to belong; longing to feel prioritized by others; unable to trust; or lacking safety. But our origin stories truly can be the road map to healing, once we're willing to really look. Illuminates the practical work needed to heal them and leave behind the limiting beliefs and behaviors that don't serve us through personal and client stories, tested frameworks for difficult conversations, and invaluable guided introspection. Teaches us vital techniques like how to pivot—that critical moment when we replace unconscious programming with a new pattern of behavior to better serve our needs—and to respond with understanding instead of with hyperreactivity, turning conflict into connection. Check out her website: https://www.newyorkcouplescounseling.com Buy her book here: https://amzn.to/41hDmq1 Follow her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft Check out her workshop with Connor in June: https://www.viennaandconnor.com/leading-in-love ___________________________________ Follow Jeremy on Instagram @LongDistanceLoveBombs: https://www.instagram.com/longdistancelovebombs Looking for a heartfelt gift? Visit Jeremy's print shop here: https://www.longdistancelovebombs.com/theshop Sign up for Jeremy's weekly newsletter! Each week, I share a personal story and my favorite books, tunes, articles, and ideas. Click here: https://longdistancelovebombs.mykajabi.com/email. It's easy and takes five seconds. Check out a list of 100 of Jeremy's favorite books here, including many his guests have written and recommend reading: https://www.amazon.com/shop/longdistancelovebombs. Here is all of Jeremy's favorite stuff on the planet: https://www.longdistancelovebombs.com/favorites --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/longdistancelovebombs/message
Being authentic is a big buzzword in our culture today. We want authenticity from others and we want to claim our own authenticity. Yet you're about to get schooled in a stark, yet hopeful reality, and it starts with understanding and accepting that nobody comes into adulthood being authentically who they are, and discovering your true authenticity is a massive undertaking. The hope in this is in realizing that most of your personal struggles in your relationship with yourself and others and even the world, can only get better from this point as you start stepping into your authentic self. Two big points you are about to hear; You come into this world with an already installed operating system based on your genetics and it is further programmed and hardwired in during your upbringing. So you leave home with a solid OS. You don't wake up on your own free and authentic. This is realization number one. Two, from the moment you come into this world your natural desire is to attach to others and this is far more important than being the authentic you, to the point you never really experience the authentic you. Right now, whether you are a navy seal, executive, stay at home parent or student you have spent your life with a priority of belonging and being attached to others far superseding being who you really are. And it's diminished your entire life. My guest, expert, and guide on this subject is Vienna Pharaon. Her new book is called The Origins of You: How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love. Vienna has been posting her insights, driven from thousands of patient encounters, on Instagram has nearly 700k followers tuning in to find their authentic selves. Vienna Pharaon is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City's most sought after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for over fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice, Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. Pharaon has been featured in The Economist, Netflix, Vice, and Motherly, and has led workshops for Peloton and Netflix, amongst others. The Origins of You is her first book and is endorsed by renowned therapists such as Nedra Glover Tawwab and Whitney Goodman who I've had on this show. As of this recording The Origins of You is at the top of the charts in Amazon. The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
hoo.be/decodingsuccess -- join our newsletter for life changing giveaways, updates, opportunties, and more! Vienna Pharaon is one of New York City's most sought-after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for over fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice, Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. Her work has been featured in The Economist, Netflix, Vice, and Motherly, and has led workshops for Peloton and Netflix, amongst others. She currently lives in Upstate, New York with her husband and son. The Origins of You is her first book. To grab Vienna's new book, click here. To check out Vienna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft/
Themes: Childhood Wounds, Family Systems, People-Pleasing, Relationships, Self-Worth Summary: I think it's safe to say that none of us had a perfect childhood, and we all carry around behaviours and unhealed pain that doesn't serve us. But it doesn't have to be that way: our past may have created our patterns, but we can change them with some self-awareness and the right tools. Join my bestie Vienna Pharaon and me as we dive into understanding and overcoming wounds from our Family of Origin, so you can move beyond your frustrating patterns in life and love and into a more liberated way of being. Vienna is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City's most sought-after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for more than fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. Her first book, The Origins of You, hits shelves on February 21st, 2023. Discover: How unhealed pain or “wounds” from our Family of Origin manifest in our adult behaviours Why it's so difficult to hold the paradox of being both disappointed with and grateful for our upbringing Five common “origin wounds” and how they show up in our adult lives How to identify and start to heal the origin wounds that hold you back 00:00 Intro 02:10 How childhood wounds impact us today 13:57 You don't need to have a traumatic childhood to have wounds 18:19 Being both disappointed with and grateful for aspects of your upbringing 29:23 Examples of origin wounds 32:35 The belonging wound 36:53 The prioritization wound 45:15 Safety and trust wounds 55:42 How to begin healing Links: Website | viennapharaon.com Instagram | @mindfulmft Book | The Origins of You 6 Week LIVE Coaching Experience with Vienna Sponsors: Cozy Earth | Use code GROVES for 40% off sitewide at cozyearth.com Open | Try Open for 30 days free! Go to withopen.com/createthelove and use code CREATETHELOVE to sign up Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
There's so much discussion around becoming more mindful in every area of our lives, but have you thought about being more mindful in your marriage? Snooks and Lovey talk about how to make your marriage (and sex life) more mindful and offer 3 exercises to get you started. Visit the links discussed in today's episode: Get your Married Into Crazy® Gear shop.MarriedIntoCrazy.com Book Your Discovery Call https://marriedintocrazy.com/coaching/ola/services/introduction-call Reduce your taxes, protect your family, and build your wealth at www.yourfinancialfreedomfighter.com Fun & Sexy App for your marriage (upgrade to premium for the real fun) r.intimately.us/mic
Today on the Soul of Life I speak with Dr. Corey Allan, Sex and Marriage and Family Therapist, author of Naked Marriage, and longtime host of Sexy Marriage Radio, a podcast devoted to straight forward, honest conversations about what goes on behind closed doors in your marriage. "We don't have sex by accident. You don't trip and fall and wind up in a vagina. Cause if that's the case what in the world is she laying like that on the ground for?" Corey says sexual issues are life issues, and life issues are sexual issues: "If we could heal the sexual wounds of God's people, we would heal God's people." We talk about the hard work, patience, and skill it takes to stay centered, be true to yourself, and be vulnerable to your partner with physical intimacy. Corey's message is that none of us in marriage or committed partnership are alone when it comes to feeling sexually frustrated at some point in married life. Check out my Mini-Course for couples: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHjcz6Ly2y9gr2mtMHIxu-fXXl8rE_PYJ Learn more about my 7-week, live, online basic mindfulness and IFS course for couples: https://souloflifeshow.com/mindful-marriage Join my Facebook Group called "Bring Love Alive:" https://www.facebook.com/groups/601405257684922 Learn about Mindful Marriage, my live, online, 7-week mindfulness-based stress reduction and basic IFS course for couples: https://souloflifeshow.com/mindful-marriage My Book, Love Under Repair: How to Save Your Marriage and Survive Couples Therapy https://amzn.to/2X3kPBL My Counseling Practice: https://keithmillercounseling.com Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SoulOfLifeShow or Twitter: https://twitter.com/SoulofLifeShow Want to book Keith as a guest on your podcast? Contact him at keith@souloflifeshow.com.
Most of us have been conditioned our whole life to have strong moral judgments against things like addictions or suicide. Right? Aren't these just categorically bad things that we have to fight against? This is really what is so mind-bending and revolutionary about the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of psychology. Michael Elkin has a reputation within the IFS community for enthusiasm teaching about what IFS calls our Firefighter parts of us—the protective parts of your personality that typically show up as extreme beliefs or behaviors like anger, addictions, compulsions, or suicidality. "Your willpower and your conscious decisions have very little to do with what you wind up actually doing." We talk about how this state of mind that IFS calls Self (all of our core spiritual qualities) has the power to heal and transform any parts of you that have become extreme or unhealthy or unbalanced. I have to say this is NOT what typical psychology or typical theology offers. Traditional psychological and religious teaching usually tells people to constrain their bad thoughts or behaviors. Manage your anger. Fight your depression. Overcome your addiction. But these management tactics require constant vigilance, and like a virus mutating in response to survival pressure, there's a hardening or resistance to change: We discuss how, instead of fighting and resisting so-called “bad” parts of you, it's far more productive to become curious and explore the motivations behind behavior or feelings that aren't in your best interest. Check out my Mini-Course for couples: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHjcz6Ly2y9gr2mtMHIxu-fXXl8rE_PYJ Learn more about my 7-week, live, online basic mindfulness and IFS course for couples: https://souloflifeshow.com/mindful-marriage Join my Facebook Group called "Bring Love Alive:" https://www.facebook.com/groups/601405257684922 Learn about Mindful Marriage, my live, online, 7-week mindfulness-based stress reduction and basic IFS course for couples: https://souloflifeshow.com/mindful-marriage My Book, Love Under Repair: How to Save Your Marriage and Survive Couples Therapy https://amzn.to/2X3kPBL My Counseling Practice: https://keithmillercounseling.com Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SoulOfLifeShow or Twitter: https://twitter.com/SoulofLifeShow Want to book Keith as a guest on your podcast? Contact him at keith@souloflifeshow.com.
Hari Sreenivasan joined the PBS NewsHour in 2009. He is the Anchor of PBS NewsHour Weekend and a Senior Correspondent for the nightly program. Prior to joining NewsHour, he was at CBS News, reporting for the "CBS Evening News,” "The Early Show" and "CBS Sunday Morning." Before that, he served as an anchor and correspondent for ABC News, working extensively on the network's 24-hour digital service "ABC News Now." Sreenivasan also reported for "World News Tonight with Peter Jennings," "Nightline with Ted Koppel," and anchored the overnight program “World News Now.” Hari also contributes to Amanpour and Company and hosts and produces the YouTube channel "Take on Fake," to expose misinformation on the internet. Check out my Mini-Course for couples: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHjcz6Ly2y9gr2mtMHIxu-fXXl8rE_PYJ Learn more about my 7-week, live, online basic mindfulness and IFS course for couples: https://souloflifeshow.com/mindful-marriage Join my Facebook Group called "Bring Love Alive:" https://www.facebook.com/groups/601405257684922 Learn about my current contest giveaway (ends 10/5/21) of a resort vacation for two to Esalen Resort in Big Sur, CA: https://app.viralsweep.com/sweeps/full/4ccad7-92414 Learn about Mindful Marriage, my live, online, 7-week mindfulness-based stress reduction and basic IFS course for couples: https://souloflifeshow.com/mindful-marriage My Book, Love Under Repair: How to Save Your Marriage and Survive Couples Therapy https://amzn.to/2X3kPBL My Counseling Practice: https://keithmillercounseling.com Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SoulOfLifeShow or Twitter: https://twitter.com/SoulofLifeShow Want to book Keith as a guest on your podcast? Contact him at keith@souloflifeshow.com.
Today I speak with Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma, about his trailblazing work educating a generation of doctors and therapists about how to heal from trauma. His book has been on the NYT paperback nonfiction bestseller list for 141 weeks, 24 of them in the #1 spot. We talk about what trauma really is, and whether it's possible that the term has become a bit inflated in popular culture. Van der Kolk tells the story of playing a part in the creation of the Post Traumatic Stress diagnosis and how it originally focused only on combat stress, and completely missed the far more prevalent and more destructive trauma that takes place in families. I ask him to offer alternatives to the widespread but woefully imprecise and unhelpful diagnostic terms like narcissism, borderline personality disorder, or anti-social personality disorder and discuss our mutual distaste for the DSM—the diagnostic manual used by psychiatrists and licensed professionals. Even though Bessel contributed to the development of the DSM versions III and IV, he rails against how using labels interferes with genuine observation and connection to the suffering of each person. "We are part of a very corrupt professions. When we start giving people labels on the basis of what you can charge the insurance company. You have lost your soul." We discuss his proposal of a more precise replacement for the PTSD diagnosis called Developmental Trauma Disorder. And we dive into breakthrough treatments like psychedelics and neurofeedback—using a person's own brain waves to control a video game that trains the brain to correct nervous system dysregulation that occurs as a result of abuse, neglect, or unprocessed trauma. Finally, I ask Bessel about his last conversation with the late Rich Simon, who's suicide in November of 2020 rocked many of us in the mental health professions. Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SoulOfLifeShow or Twitter: https://twitter.com/SoulofLifeShow Want to book Keith as a guest on your podcast? Contact him at keith@souloflifeshow.com. ***7-Week Stress Reduction & Relationship Growth Course*** If you and your significant other are looking for ways to improve communication and strengthen your partnership, there is still time to enroll in my upcoming live 7-Week Mindfulness and IFS course, called Mindful Marriage. Partners of any kind are welcome. It's a one-of-a-kind offering that can truly transform how you show up in intimacy. For more information visit: www.souloflifeshow.com/mindful-marriage.
**BONUS PREVIEW of S3E5 with IFS (Internal Family Systems) Lead Trainer Michael Elkin. This full episode drops on August 27th, 2021. Most of us have been conditioned our whole life to have strong moral judgments against things like addictions or suicide. Right? Aren't these just categorically bad things that we have to fight against? This is really what is so mind-bending and revolutionary about the IFS model. Mike has a reputation within the IFS community for enthusiasm teaching about what IFS calls our Firefighter parts of us—the protective parts of your personality that typically show up as extreme beliefs or behaviors like anger, addictions, compulsions, or suicidality. "Your willpower and your conscious decisions have very little to do with what you wind up actually doing." We talk about this state of mind that IFS calls Self—but is really just all of our core spiritual qualities—which it turn out if you call upon it (and that's really what IFS teaches people to do) it the power to heal and transform any parts of you that have become extreme or unhealthy or unbalanced—and I have to say this is NOT what typical psychology or typical theology offers. Traditional psychological and religious teaching usually tells people to constrain their bad thoughts or behaviors. Manage your anger. Fight your depression. Overcome your addiction. But these management tactics require constant vigilance, and like a virus mutating in response to survival pressure, there's a hardening or resistance to change: We discuss how, instead of fighting and resisting so-called “bad” parts of you, it's far more productive to become curious and explore the motivations behind behavior or feelings that aren't in your best interest: **Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SoulOfLifeShow or Twitter: https://twitter.com/SoulofLifeShow Want to book Keith as a guest on your podcast? Contact him at keith@souloflifeshow.com. ***7-Week Stress Reduction & Relationship Growth Course*** If you and your significant other are looking for ways to improve communication and strengthen your partnership, there is still time to enroll in my upcoming live 7-Week Mindfulness and IFS course, called Mindful Marriage. Partners of any kind are welcome. It's a one-of-a-kind offering that can truly transform how you show up in intimacy. For more information visit: https://community.souloflifeshow.com/
**BONUS PREVIEW of S3E4 with PBS Weekend anchor Hari Sreenivasan. Full episode drops on August 20th, 2021. Hari Sreenivasan joined the PBS NewsHour in 2009. He is the Anchor of PBS NewsHour Weekend and a Senior Correspondent for the nightly program. Prior to joining NewsHour, he was at CBS News, reporting for the "CBS Evening News,” "The Early Show" and "CBS Sunday Morning." Before that, he served as an anchor and correspondent for ABC News, working extensively on the network's 24-hour digital service "ABC News Now." Sreenivasan also reported for "World News Tonight with Peter Jennings," "Nightline with Ted Koppel," and anchored the overnight program “World News Now.” Hari also contributes to Amanpour and Company and hosts and produces the YouTube channel "Take on Fake," to expose misinformation on the internet. Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SoulOfLifeShow or Twitter: https://twitter.com/SoulofLifeShow Want to book Keith as a guest on your podcast? Contact him at keith@souloflifeshow.com. ***7-Week Stress Reduction & Relationship Growth Course*** If you and your significant other are looking for ways to improve communication and strengthen your partnership, there is still time to enroll in my upcoming live 7-Week Mindfulness and IFS course, called Mindful Marriage. Partners of any kind are welcome. It's a one-of-a-kind offering that can truly transform how you show up in intimacy. For more information visit: https://community.souloflifeshow.com/
In this preview of Episode 3 of Season 3 (releasing on 8/13/21), Drs. Harville Hendrix, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, are the founders of Imago Relationship Therapy, a paradigm-changing and pioneering model of couples therapy that helped revolutionize the way psychotherapists view couples and the nature of healing through the lens of attachment-theory—the idea that, in a sense, we belong to one other and are expertly equipped to heal each other's trauma from our earliest attachments in life, by having a conscious relationship that is able to transform conflict into a blueprint for growth. They have written over 10 books, including three New York Times bestsellers. Harville has appeared as a featured guest 17 times on The Oprah Winfrey Show. They are the co-founders of Imago Relationships International, a non-profit organization that has trained thousands of therapists and educators in 51 countries around the world. Want to book Keith as a guest on your podcast? Contact him at keith@souloflifeshow.com. ***7-Week Stress Reduction & Relationship Growth Course*** If you and your significant other are looking for ways to improve communication and strengthen your partnership, there is still time to enroll in my upcoming live 7-Week Mindfulness and IFS course, called Mindful Marriage. Partners of any kind are welcome. It's a one-of-a-kind offering that can truly transform how you show up in intimacy. For more information visit: https://community.souloflifeshow.com/
In this preview of S3E2 (full episode release: 8/6/21) you get a glimpse of my excitement about speaking with world-renown brain and trauma scientist, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk. Van der Kolk is a professor of Psychiatry at Boston University School of Medicine and president of the Trauma Research Foundation in Brookline, Massachusetts. ]Since the 1970s his research has been in the area of post-traumatic stress. He is the author of The New York Times best seller, The Body Keeps the Score, a widely renown book that came out in 2014 subtitled Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma. It explores “the extreme disconnection from the body that so many people with histories of trauma and neglect experience” and the most effective paths to recovery by studying three main areas of research: 1) Neuroscience, which deals with how mental processes function within the brain. 2) Developmental psychopathology concerned with how painful experiences impact the development of mind and brain. 3) Interpersonal neurobiology, which examines how our own behavior affects the emotional and neurobiological states of those close to us. Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SoulOfLifeShow or Twitter: https://twitter.com/SoulofLifeShow Want to book Keith as a guest on your podcast? Contact him at keith@souloflifeshow.com. ***7-Week Stress Reduction & Relationship Growth Course*** If you and your significant other are looking for ways to improve communication and strengthen your partnership, there is still time to enroll in my upcoming live 7-Week Mindfulness and IFS course, called Mindful Marriage. Partners of any kind are welcome. It's a one-of-a-kind offering that can truly transform how you show up in intimacy. For more information visit: https://community.souloflifeshow.com/
"There were times in life where I would be hurt when someone didn't fight for me or fight for 'us,' but I realized I needed to learn to fight for myself. When was the last time you fought for yourself? Did you ever learn to love yourself? Who taught you? What does that look like? What if what we learned wasn't healthy? What if we now have to fight to unlearn it?" In this part 2 of Love, Katherine elaborates on last week's episode of what love looks like in each of our lives, how different everyone's experience and journey will be. She discusses family dynamics of love and relationship, generational strongholds, and provides prompts for deeper reflection into our origins of love by Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy LLC. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/itskatherinemurillo/support
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